#i had to draw this to comfort myself tho ngl

[elimore-art]

domestic bliss

[floru05]

Favorite characters’ parents

[armafidelium]

idek if anyone will know what i'm referring to but if you ever watched the anime kiznaiver in the final episode when katsuhira finally regains his ability to feel things--pain, excitement, everything--and he's asked if he feels alright and he cries happily saying everything he feels and how it feels good. so like . . . that kinda scenario but aphelios off noctum with also accepting he's not just a weapon and just emotions--

[kit-the-dreamer]

Day 1: Costumes

Through all these years, I have seen myself spending hours and hours on creating new costumes in LBP1, LBP2, LBPVita and LBP3, with the hope that I would get just the vibe I desire. I find it quite cute tho, ngl. The idea of expressing yourself through a sackperson is so comforting for me...

Today, I can't recall all the costumes that I've made, but I can appreciate the ones that have impacted me the most. Sadly, not all of them are drawn here, but I can make a quick remark (below the cut) of each one of the ones I did draw for this prompt:

1. "Green Wolf": It's my first costume ever, if I recall correctly. When I saw the green cloth with little white flowers, I fell in love with it (Also, my favorite color was green at that moment.) I was also obsessed with wolves, for some reason so I added the tail, although the ears weren't part of the costume until I went through The Savannah levels. Something I really love of this one (aside that it's so beautiful) is that my dad's costume used to be the ''Werewolf'' one, so they kinda matched ^^

2. ''Pink'': When I left behind my obsession with green, I quickly fell for the color pink. It was my new religion. The pink cloth with little decorations looked very good and I believed it matched with the ''Penguin Scarf'' (I think it was called like that). The polka dot dress was very similar to the ''Green Wolf'''s one, so I had nothing to lose by trying it. And it fitted.

3. ""Dragon"": It is no secret for anyone that knows me enough that I am OBSESSED with the HTTYD series. And so my love for dragons began (and it has lasted for all these years). HOWEVER, I found it VERY difficult to make a dragon costume that looked DECENT at the very least, and that was soul-crushing to me ;-;. This specific costume was inspired by the dragon that appears in the level ''LittleBigCrystals'' from LBP Special Edition.

4. ''Catrina'': I liked the movie ''The Book of Life'', specially the design of La Catrina. I had no idea she was actually a thing in mexican culture tho xd. (Me and my ignorance ;-;) Anyway, I decided I needed to make a costume of her on LBP2, and so I did. Funnily enough, when I was younger, I had a time restriction to play on the PlayStation (maximum of 1 hour), and I was SO DETERMINED to make this costume that I spent my only daily hour on it. I was so proud when I finished and found it totally worth it, as it would be ready for me to play using it the next day ;w;

[froggo-tea]

I love how adorably you draw Xero. For me it is difficult to draw him so expressively, so how do you do it?

Waaaa thank u so much!!! Truly one of the best compliments I could ever receive :)

To be completely honest, I’ve been drawing Xero for like 2 years now or like a year and a half. Practicing has made me understand how I want to portray his character and the personality he has (or that I’ve given to him) in a way I don’t really acknowledge it, like, my hands know how to but my mind doesn’t- if that makes any sense lol

I still struggle to draw him from time to time, sometimes I feel like I do the same doodle lol. I guess exaggerating face features and moving them around is my way of doing it. Like I move his eyes a lot, every doodle of him has different eyes. I also add that little “brow” line on top to indicate the feeling better (just that one line can change the way he looks! which is impressive and a ur scary-) Playing around with poses too, even if you are just doing from the chest up twisting the body around helps, not just making him stiff in a straight line, certain poses can reflect someone’s personality! Like the way you stand is different from the way others stand (some out all their weight into just one leg, some have their hands crossed, etc etc) and that can show the way you act.

Sometimes I draw a little fang to show mischief for example! When his eyes are straight it means tiredness but when they are more tilted they look more angry, another example!

Im not a big expert on art and it’s hard for me to explain stuff to others but I hope this helps! We all start drawing something in a way you might not like, but slowly you get good at it! dw you’ll find your way!!

Ngl this made me look through my old doodles, so here’s how much I’ve grown to draw Xero!

These 2 doodle were done in November of 2022. The way I’ve drawn him has changed a lot actually- I hadn’t drawn him that much so these do feel a bit awkward- I hadn’t placed my art style on him yet, I was just using the in-game design.

Here are three others that I had done around 2023. I was getting more used to drawing him, tho I was still improving at drawing! The emotion I give him is expressed through his eyes cause he doesn’t really have a mouth lol- different shapes of eyes can help change what he’s feeling for me so yee.

And these are the last doodles I’ve done for him, literally drew these yesterday. I feel so comfortable drawing him now cause he’s just so funky and silky. His helmet is so hard to get use to drawing tho, I still find it a bit hard to draw his side view but hey I’m trying! (Also I tried redrawing the doodle of Xero on a throne-)

Tbh I’m really happy that you think he looks expressive!!! I always tell myself I gotta add more emotion to him and not letting him have an emotionless face, so I’ve been forcing myself to add more and more feeling slowly lol.

I don’t really know the exact way of adding more expression tho, kinda just guessing why it may look like that. Sometimes, I just do it. So, keep practicing! It’s what every artist tells other artists but it’s true, sadly lmfao.

Thank u again!! As the self-proclaimed #1 Xero hk fan (which lol probably I’m not but I love him to much so I like to think it as that-) I am thankful that you’ve acknowledged my incredible skills at drawing this silly fool.

[huffle-dork]

JSE Community Greet

Preferred name: Huffle! If you know my irl name don’t use it please unless you actually know me irl uwu

Preferred pronouns: She/Her!

When did you start watching JSE? (this is not a competition, old or new you're a member of the community) I started watching Jack probably around when I started watching mark so like- mid 2014-2015? I was a much bigger fan of mark though and really only saw Jack in collabs- I think I thought he was a tad bit screamy even tho early mark was also very loud hvhgh I got super into it Fall of 2017 though!!

Why did you start watching JSE? right after WKM came out I was so invested in egos cuz of dark and wil and ego content always overlapped between Jack and mark! I had no idea who anti was in the dark fics I was reading but I looked it up and just- fell in love with everything Jack did- it was really perfect timing- I had just graduated with my painting degree but hadn’t drawn for fun in a couple months and I was feeling so listless until I found the fandom and it got me drawing again!!

What's your favourite things about the channel? I love seeing sean get super invested in the games stories cuz I’m the same way! And just the way he does stuff is so ADHD and he also got late diagnosed so just… it’s comforting- I also just love listening to his voice :)

Do you have a fave ego? MARVIN THE MAGNIFICENT MY BELOVEDEDDDD!!! Jackie is a very close second but I love my cat boy sooo much I dunno why I attached myself to him so much but god I dunno if ive ever loved a character so much- which is funny cuz I remember when I was learning about the egos until sean actually named him I was like- this guy isn’t an ego he’s just Sean in a cat mask! 😂

What type of community member are you? (lurker/artist/theorist/editor/shitposter/author etc) artist uwu but also a fic writer though I’m not as constant with that as I wanna be ^^; (Pssttt all my fics are in my description ohhh you wanna go read them so badly especially if you like ausss~)

What else do you enjoy? Doll customizing is my latest fixation ngl 👀 if I could find not ugly boy dolls I kinda wanna make some egos or my swap boys also video games I wanna try to stream again more!!

Are you open to nice messages and new friends? Sure!! I’m not the best conversationalist sometimes but you never know when you’ll meet a good friend! Hell my best friends all met cuz of some asks on here through the community ^^

Find the original prompt here! Thanks @archivefullofyoutubers what a fun idea!!

[memese-art]

Commenting on every single spread of my latest scketchbook bc why the fuck not

I finished this bad boy up a week and a half ago or so but I promissed myself that I'd try and post art at least once a week and I'm artblocked rn so yeah that's what we have for today

(also since it is kinda big I'll probably divide this into different posts so it doesn't turn into a goddamn THESIS)

my first pages always tend to be a bit messy and disconnected and this is the case

the butterfly was apparently my "birthday butterfly"? I don't really remember. I really like how the duck turned out tho I made him in my arts history class :)

now this one is kind of an homage to my cringe days from middle school lmao. I was cleaning up my art cupboard and found a bunch of little drawings and cutouts from 2018 so I decided to use them up

the only new thing is the jessie paege drawing but I don't really like how it turned out? idk I still have trouble capturing people's likenesses

this spread doesn't really make that much sense? there's this super old art I did of Haley Williams from paramore apparently (if I'm bad at capturing likeness today, in 2019 I was even worse lmao) and my attempt to redeem myself right under it

and there's also a dnd character of mine on the following page. I adore her she's the love of my life

the page on the left SUCKS ASS so much so I never even finished it up

the one on the right is ok I guess

this one is pretty meh. I don't really like how it's so empty, it feels lacking

I have no damn clue of what the page on the right was supposed to be ngl

the one on the left is cute tho, I've had these ocs since like 8th grade, I should draw them more

again, a pretty meh spread, made out of pretty mid drawings. The mushroom guy is a dnd race called zethlera, and I get way more comfortable doing these little guys in the future, y'all will see

This is getting way too long and I'm getting tired of it so I'll put a stop to ir rn and add more in the future. I'll post them all under the "memese's scketchbook shenanigans" for future reference

[huniebunny]

Hello! I just saw your matchups and wanted to get one while they were still open :) Also yeah itd be cool to make these like an seasonal evemt type of thing!

For the creepypasta fandom,,

My preferred nicknames are really just my nickname wich is "cath" idm whatever people call me really just not baby or babygirl it's so "ugh" imo

My appereance;

Ive got shoulder length brown fluffy hair with some blue streaks in it (i dyed brown over my blue hair and it just barely worked out),,green eyes and i'm chubby, my pronouns are they/them, my sexuality is just not labeled atm but any gender is fine!! And i'm 17

Idrk if this matters but i'm a capricorn and enfp :]

As for my personality;

I'm a kind person but i can get annoyed kinda easily, im also pretty creative and love to draw and like art in generall. Sometimes my confidence is pretty high and sometimes its just not there lol but im pretty outgoing, i love to go out and do stuff but also like the opposite im someone that loves to sleep and can be in my room all day without problem, so im just down to do whatever if im in the mood for that. Im also like the type of person thats just "whatever" and not very open about my feelings and whats on my mind i prefer to keep my problems etc all to myself but i do love to talk about the stuff im passionate about! But overall id say im a happy calm person thats sleepy most of the day

Some of my main interests rn:

- art

- greek mythology

- music

- genshin impact

- some manga and animes i watch

- books

And just some of my favorite things of all time;; the forest and its colors like brown and greens, black and any greyish color 2, my room (i absolutely adore my room it gives off coffee vibes),,vegetable soup>>,, my bed, pillows,coffee,,spending nights awake just vibing and sleeping through the day, watching movies and building lego sets lol

I dislike it alot if someone makes a mess of my room lol itll bother me for awhile ngl, i also tend to hold grudges alot so like a fight with someone could last awhile even tho idm apologizing id still be a bit mad or annoyed for some time

My love language would be quality time like just hanging out in my room would be just fine for me, i love cuddles and stuff but not if its too much and all the time yk. Like i dont want to have a person clinging onto me all the time, so some space and just alone time would be perfect for me,,ofc i still love cuddles and stuff just not all the time kdkskse

I like to wear anything comfortable i'm usually just in my pjs 24/7 lol since im a very sleepy person by nature its only natural ofc but if id have to go out id wear some comfy baggy clothes :)

I love going on walks in forests and listening to music with headphones its such a vibe tbh and im currently learning myself how to crochet!! And i really wanna learn how to figure skate aswell.

I struggle alot with self image aswell so im planning on working out more so i can feel more happy with myself not only body figure etc but just everything about me in general (this js kinda odd admitting it bc i tend to keep it to myself)

I get bad mood swings sometimes aswell but youd notice it its kinda obvious when im annoyed or mad lol

My fav music artists rn are;; lana del rey, billie eilish, melanie martinez, gorillaz, oliver tree, taylor swift, ans more but those are the ones i can think of rn

I think thats like about all ( what i can think of rn lol) i hope it isnt too long these are ways so hard to like put all together but thank you in advance!! Make sure to stay hydrated be safe and have a good day <33

[Hello, bunny! Pardon the wait! And thank you so much for the kind words! I hope you enjoy your matchup!]

You’re Matched With…

Kate the Chaser!!!

What's your relationship to them?

Lover | Friend | Family | Acquaintance | Annoyance | Rival | Enemy

How did you meet?

Kate attempted to attack you actually. You were in Slenderman’s bounds from the forest, and she had every reason to kill you at the time. But the light from your phone screen forced her to scurry off.

First impressions?

She was not very happy with your first meeting. You were trespassing and triggered her photophobia.

General Dynamic:

Despite her failed attempt at killing you, she hunted you down all the way to your residence.

It was the dead of night, so she did not expect you to be awake. She hissed that your bedroom light was on and simply waited for you to go to bed.

Only for you to not do so until the sun began to rise.

It was a few days of this cycle before she noticed your bedroom light off. Were you finally asleep?

She snuck in, trying to find you, when you suddenly came up to her mask and practically interrogated her for stalking the window.

It was really after that, that your friendship started. With a promise that you didn’t say a word about her presence to anyone else, she’d come around to hang out.

Lights were always out when she’s around, and she was glad that you were so considerate.

She’s your workout coach, taking you out to the woods where no one would find you.

A gift of hers is a lake deep in Slender’s bounds that froze over for the winter. You both learn to ice skate together.

She’s not a very physically affectionate person, but is rather cat-like when she does. The minimal contact and maximum affection gesture? Headbutting! Anywhere, any position. Her forehead will lightly bump you.

[yoiku]

Some ramblings about depression, medication and whatnot. Positive overall tho there are some trigger warnings!

So last november I dragged my ass to the on-duty clinic because boy was I feeling suicidal, enough to be sent to urgent care unit, which was new. There I actually got a psychiatrist and a psych nurse who I would work with me the entire time. For the first time in the 3,5years I've been trying out antidepressants and having to meet with an entirely new doctor almost every time, I finally had a person who -kept- my case, who I could contact in need. I'd also meet them every week/every other week depending on how i'm feeling. What a fucking difference that has made. I haven't had to start from the beginning every goddamn time i go in, and get a different doctor's opinion each time. Also the psychiatrist at urgent care was the first medical professional who has just flat out gone: "You haven't been able to sleep properly since you were a teenager, which is also when your depression kicked in? Well, there's the reason, and we'll need to work together to see what options would work for you." Until now my sleeping problems have always just been a "lifestyle choice" and I've simply been told to fix it myself and I'd start feeling much better :)

Also she saw that I've been in the queue for adhd/add evaluation and tests for 6months and asked straight away why haven't I been prescribed Bupropion, since it's an antidepressant but also works the same way that adhd medications do, it's just like a lighter version more or less. So she put me on that, and for the first month, nothign really happened. Then she maxed the dose saying if that won't work in a month or two then we gotta look for other options.

Well, 3 weeks after that stuff started to happen. After about 7months of not being able to really even draw anything, not feeling any motivation for anything I usually enjoyed, really, I just somehow got a really frustrated feeling about not doing anything productive or fun. Dusted off my tablet and started drawing. Mehhh felt like shit everything looked like shit. The next day though, looked back at the stuff and yeah, it still looked liked shit, but the feeling of having done something creative was suddenly immense. Like wtf is this feeling of... satisfaction?

So I picked up the pen again and just kept going. That was uhhh.. a month ago now? And I'm still fucking going. I've had 2 days in the last 30 or so where I've actually just had to stay in bed and recharge after several days of 12-18 hours of drawing or WRITING, which is something I've never been able to start, suddenly that wasn't a big deal to start off either. Wtf. I'm drafting a comic, another thing I've never been able to start because I've felt too shit about it/myself beforehand. Again, wtf?

I've also started to talk more, which actually weirds me out. I'm used to being way too anxious to actually initiate conversations, or got stuck on worrying myself into an anxiety attack about entirely useless/stupid things. I feel generally way less stressed somehow? Like it's not like "it's all gone I'm no longer mentally ill", but parts of my anxiety have lessened to a degree that makes me uncomfortably comfortable, if that makes any fucking sense?

While I know it's entirely dumb to think about what could've been, recently I can't help but think that man, what would've my life been like if I'd gotten this sort of care and/or meds... Say when I was 25? or 20? or 15? Would I actually been able to get through school instead of dropping out from 5 different colleges? Would I've been able to land a job for more than a month because I would've not been too anxious to do any level of socializing? Maybe not. But maybe some things could've been better.

Better late than never I guess. I'm experiencing things and drive at 33 that I haven't experienced... Since I was a kid, really? Wtf.

ngl at this point I'll be really surprised if I don't get diagnosed with adhd/add once I get into the eval. and tests sometime this year hopefully...

[kuvvydraws]

Life for me has been utter shit - stuck with godawful lessons and a lot of tests, all the while having to worry about this group of mean girls who I offended a couple month ago and now have to constantly think about what I do because all it takes is one mistep and they go all snarky and stir up trouble by making baseless accusations - cause all it takes is one mistake to turn your best friends into utter bitches ((sorry for the language)) who constantly make it out to be that I’m always going out of my way to wind them up and harass them

And now I’m worried that if any of my other past mistakes come up that they’re going to make it out to be a big thing, and if they make it out to be a big thing then I just know it’s gonna reach the teachers who’re gonna make it reach home and then I’ll have to deal with the usual disappointment I get when I make even the smallest mistake, because everyone expects me to be this perfect little thing that cant make a single mistake, and if that happens I honestly don’t know how I’m gonna deal with it - especially if I lose my phone, as it’s like my only comfort source and tether to the things that actually make me happy.

And no I don’t mean that in terms of social media, I mainly mean that in terms of stuff like access to tumblr and my fanfiction - because as sad as it sounds they’re the only thing keeping my happy and keeping me going

I should probably talk about some of this with my counsellor, but then she’s gonna have to mention it to her superiors who’ll most likely make her tell my parents and I just don’t have the energy or will power to deal with that

So here I am, using anon on tumblr to rant at someone as sweet as you who’s probably just gonna get either super bummed out or kinda concerned which you shouldn’t be as I honestly don’t deserve anyone’s care or concern. I’m already a waste of physical space, no need to be a waste of someone’s emotional and mental energy as well.

Sorry. - 🦋anon🦋

((just to add a little bit of recognition in case I want to/need to rant again. Granted that’s good with you of course))

Alright so that's a lot, so I think I'm going to answer this under a read more and hopefully I can bring you some sort of comfort, as little as that may be

Before that tho, I know I'm not a rant/venting blog, but you guys can come do so in asks or DMS even if we never talk again. I rather lend an ear that have you with a heavy weight on your shoulders if I can help carry it.

ALSO

This is a self-deprecation free blog! Y'all are a fucking delight, and gorgeous inside and out and I'll frigging fight you if I must in order to seal that idea in your funky little brains! 🔪🔪🔪

School problems sound like a lot of stress rn (I'm guessing you're not in college yet, I don't have the facts tho), and those come in the source of social and study issues. To the later, I can only say that they will pass, they're temporary and they don't really matter that much as long as you manage the bare minimum to go on with your life plans (which is a ridiculous thing to say because I myself am 23 and I still don't know jack shit about anything, much less about life).

Your "friends", and this is the last time I call them that, are clearly not deserving of you, not only if they treat you that way but also because if you're so sure they're willing to use mistakes from the past against you, that means you kind of subconsciously understood they weren't that good to start with. To that I can only say that kind of gut feeling comes with age (I'm full of hateful advice tonight, sorry), and that those mistakes they'll make you face were things you did in the past you made being younger and less informed and "matured", and you should look at them with that gaze instead of beating yourself over them or letting them get to you (this is not easy, but you can do it 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻)

Idk how you school (again, guessing) works, but sure there is a tutor or someone you can talk with from the staff, a therapist they hire from time to time or, and I know you won't like this option, the counselor. Think of your mental health for a moment, please.

You're not a machine.

You are not a perfect thing.

You're human, and you're fallible, and weak, and you get tired, and you make mistakes. And that's okay.

And people around you have to understand that. They can't make you a puppet to satisfy their expectations because that's going to end up either burning you out or tearing you apart.

From here, and I clearly don't know all the details so please consider that too, I think you should sacrifice some of that untouchable image others have assigned on you that you use like a shield and show vulnerability, let an "authority" inform your parents that you do very much have a breaking point and you're reaching it and you need to breathe and exist for a second.

I myself got lost, quite purposefully, in reading and writing and art -and I still do- and consuming media as a source of comfort and familiarity that was, and still is, always reliable and endless.

I don't think there's a problem with that, so long as you keep it reasonable and don't get too lost in it. As we say in my country, "lo bueno, si breve, dos veces bueno" (I'll let you investigate that on your own 😉)

The main thing I get, and what I do all the time because it works for me like a clock, is a red balloon, meaning, hobbies. I like creating things -I like reading the most, honestly, but it's never as engaging as making your own stuff. Write something, draw something, it doesn't matter if you don't think it's good, or bad, or anything or everything in between. You get a distraction, you invest in something that brings you joy such as interacting (or not, that's up to your comfort level and/or want to do so) with fandoms and Tumblr, and one day, when you're feeling under the weather or in need of a break, you can look back and see the things that you have done and be proud of them despite all their little imperfections because you made them and you had a good time while doing so and they helped you get your mind off things.

Exhaustion is a thing, and a terrible one at that, and we end up feeling numb at best, and tired, and just like you can't keep going, you can't even take that infamous baby step that's just enough for some people, and you fear that if you don't make what's barely enough then how...?

That's bullshit. It real, and valid, and it's heavy as fuck and it gets to you, nests inside your very bones and drags you.

I'm not a very cheery person despite what my internet persona might suggest, quite the opposite, and I use that to keep me going.

You can't keep up or find a reason to take that baby step? Do it out of spite.

That's my answer against life itself, when everything is just too much and I cant- I can, out of spite.

NGL buddy, it ain't healthy, but it keeps you on the move until those bad days are over and suddenly you'll find yourself fighting back, standing straight (that's the only straight thing I do), and charging forward like a bull.

Don't give up, I promise time fixes everything sooner or later and good days are on your way. That's a threat.

[kbuggg3]

JC Caylen Imagine: “Don’t Be Sorry”

Today's has been a pretty eventful day to say the least. While my boyfriend JC was out with some old friends who came into town to visit him, me and my dad got into a fight... again.

But the thing that hurts the most is not only is this the 4th time in a row he's been caught, but I'm the one that keeps witnessed it. Your probably wonder "the 4th time? Why do you keep falling for his bullshit?"

Welp. He's my dad. I'm not just gonna give up on him completely. When we would catch him doing something he would let fake tears fall from his eyes as he was apologizing to us and we would forgive him.

And then we'd catch him again, he'd apologize, we'd forgive him. It was an endless cycle. But this time I knew I can't get my hopes up to high anymore.

My mom always told me it takes years to build trust and seconds to destroy it. I felt that. He didn't only ruin my trust with him, but my trust with everyone else. I let everything that happened get to my head and now I have major trust issues. With the exception of one person.

JC Caylen

Before i met JC my life was pretty miserable. I lived in Florida with my mom and my older sister. After my mom and dad got divorced, my family slowly started going down hill.

My dad was barely in the picture due to his constant sneaking around as he was hooking up with random people and getting drunk and being so lazy that he never even bothered covering his tracks, allowing us to discover his dirty little secrets for ourselves.

My poor brother was clueless. Had no idea what his own father was doing behind his back and we didn't bother telling him because 1.) he was a very sensitive boy at the time and 2.) he looked to my dad for everything. My dad was his role model.

After awhile of all of this, my sister was diagnosed with depression. Not too severe but even the smallest bit can make you feel like shit. And as for me, I struggled with self love. Because I didn't really have a good male figure on my life I looked to guys for verification.

But after i spent a week with him and the rest of the O2l house at Vidcon i felt like my life was finally picking up. Fast forward a couple years and my sisters depression is gone, my brother grew up to be an amazing dad of 2 kids, and as for me, i stopped looking for verification in guys and me and JC started dating.

We've been dating for 2 years now and he has been nothing but amazing. I love him so much and I know he loves me. Ever since we've started dating people have been telling me they've never seen me so happy before or they've never seen me smile or laugh that much before.

I just wished he was here to comfort me right now. I haven't told him what happened yet. I didn't wanna ruin his day. He was hanging out with some old friends of his who flew down to visit him.

I wasn't gonna burden him with my stupid family issues while he was out with his friends. I turned on a random disney movie and began to watch as I continued to cry at random times when the old memories would pop up in my mind.

I would squeeze my eyes shut and burry my head in my pillow trying to make them stop but they never went away, no matter how hard i tried. Eventually I decided enough was enough. I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to call JC. I grabbed the phone and went to his name in my contacts. I dried my tears and took a few deep breaths to stop myself from crying so he wouldn't notice and be too worried.

After attempting to recollect myself, i pressed call, holding the phone up to my ear as i heard it ring. A few seconds later the line picked up and i heard his sweet voice on the other end.

"What's up baby." JC said in a super deep voice cause you to giggle only slightly.

"Hey JC. Um, I was just wondering when you were gonna be home?"

"Is my girl missing me already?"

"What do mean already you've been gone for hourrrrsssss." She groaned causing him to chuckle.

"I know baby I'm sorry. I'll actually be home soon."

I sighed with relief before responding, "Thank god!"

"Is everything ok (y/n)?"

Shit. Don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry.

She sniffles a little and swallowed hard.

"Y-ya baby why do you ask?" My breath was uneven and he could tell.

"No no. Your not ok. I'm coming over right now."

Don't mess this up (y/n) he's having fun. Don't ruin his day.

"JC it's fine. I'm gonna be ok. Just go hang out with your friends. Have fun!"

"Gonna be?!"

I pulled back and cringed at my own words. Shouldn't have said that.

"Gonna be ok??? (y/n) what happened???" JC exclaimed again. She sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"JC I'm-"

Tell him your fine. He's with his friends. He doesn't need this right now.

Tell him what you tell everyone else in your life. Your fine.

"It's my dad again." I said with tears in my eyes.

What the fuck (y/n)! How could you?!

He can tell by my voice I was crying.

"Fuck. Baby I'm coming over right now." He side sternly. Was he mad?

"N-no JC it's ok really I-"

"No! (y/n) it's not ok! Baby he's put you through so much shit and I'm tired of it! You don't deserve that! You nor your family!" He began to shout a little and it caused her to cry harder. Not because I'm scared of him. But because he cared so much and that meant the world to her. He's the only one who gets it.

He did a deep sigh and you already knew he was running his hands through his hair and pacing, something he did when he was stressed, nervous, or in this case pissed off.

"I'm coming over. I'll be there in a few just hang on ok?"

At first no words were spoken. She didn't want to agree because she still felt bad about burdening him with it. But she was going to lose her fucking mind if he wasn't holding her ASAP so she finally spoke a barely audible "ok".

Immediately the phone call was ended. (y/n)'s phone slid out of her hand and onto the floor. She sat there curled up on her bed for awhile, staring blankly at the floor as her head was leaned on the head rest.

The thoughts and images filled her head again and she began to cry and cry and cry. "Go away." She whispered with quivering lips. "Go away!"

Not too long after the phone call she heard keys rattling as whoever was on the other side, who she assumed was JC, tried to open the door. She then heard footsteps quickly going up the stairs.

Her teary eyes slowly looked up to the door and saw the door knob slowly being turned, then the door opened revealing her boyfriend. In her mind she was smiling, finally being able to see him, but on the outside she unintentionally showed the opposite.

They made eye contact and (y/n) saw the sympathetic look on JC's face. She hated it when people would look at her like that and he knew it. He just couldn't help it. It makes her feel weak and helpless even tho those are the exact words that describe her in this moment.

When she saw the look on his face she quickly looked away, turning her head to the side and squeezed her eyes shut as more tears slipped down her cheeks, slightly embarrassed by her fragile appearance.

She felt the bed beside her dip down meaning JC was now sitting next to her on the bed.

"Baby..."

JC gently touched her chin and moved it to where her eyes had nowhere else to look but his.

"I... I am so sorry."

After looking into his beautiful brown eyes, (y/n) finally gave in and buried her face in his shoulder as she sat in his lap in a straddle like position.

Her arms were tightly wrapped around his neck and the more she cried the tighter she would hold on. In return JC would squeeze her back, both arms wrapped around her waist. He then began to run his hand through her hair and draw small circles on her back in a soothing motion.

JC continued to whisper little nothings in her ear as she gripped his shirt that was soaked with her tears.

"You don't deserve this."

"None of this is your fault."

"You're an amazing girl."

"You're my amazing girl."

After a few minutes or so of them sitting in silence, JC asked her if she wanted to lay down and cuddle while they watched a movie. (y/n) could only nod her head as they repositioned themselves to where she was laying on JC's stomach with her face still buried in his chest. He put on her favorite Disney movie "Finding Nemo" hoping it would encourage her to lift her head and hopefully help calm her.

When she heard the music play softly from the TV she slowly and hesitantly lifted her head from JC's chest as she positioned her head to where she could see the movie displayed on the large screen. JC smiled at her and kissed the top of her head. Occasionally throughout the movie he would rub her back soothingly, play with her hair, and give her kisses on the top of her head or forehead, causing (y/n) to smile slightly.

"Thank you... Seriously," (y/n) said quietly. He was surprised at first, judging by the fact that neither of them have said a word to each other for about an hour (not in a rude way of course but because there was no need for words. They just needed time to think and relax). "No problem, baby. I love you so so much."

(y/n) look up at him, resting her chin on his chest. He noticed how the red puffiness in her eyes went down and there was not a tear in sight, causing his heart to warm and a smile to make its way across his face. "I love you too." They shared a short but sweet kiss and went to sleep cuddled up in their bed as "Finding Nemo" continued to play and lull them into a deep and peaceful sleep.

ngl I hate writing sad stuff (unless y’all request it obvi) but I got this idea and couldn’t get it out of my head so you’re welcome. If you have any requests and/or feedback let me know plz! Love y'all💋                                                                                                                                 ~Kbug :)

[jack-antonoff]

get to know me tag

tagged by @njaems

tagging: anyone who wants to do it!

What day is your birthday? July 20th

What is your favorite color? Mint green, and pastel pink as a close second

What’s your lucky number? 24. Vietnamese students get assigned a number each year and mine typically was 24

Do you have any pets? A mixed hound pup named Ginny 

How tall are you? 158cm / 5′2 :(

How many pairs of shoes do you own? ~ 9-10 I think

Favorite song? I have too many but Such Great Heights by The Postal Service always make me feel so warm and fuzzy inside so maybe that song?

Favorite movie? Clueless. Emma is my favorite Austen book and both Clueless & Emma (2009) are my go-to comfort movie/ show (my url when I first became active on tumblr was knightley-woodhouse haha)

Who would be your ideal partner? Someone who I can banter well with 

Do you want children? I think I would like to adopt one someday? Pregnancy/ giving birth scares the shit out of me but I think I might wanna have children

Have you ever got into trouble with the law? Nope

Baths or showers? Showers. I just don’t have enough patient for a bath though ngl those bubble bath/ bath bombs do seem alluring

What color socks are you wearing? None

What type of music do you like? Well the 4 playlist that are divided by genres on my Spotify are: bubblegum bops, infectious indie, alternative anthems, and grungy gems. I also have a playlist called ethereal for dreampop/ shoegazey songs. I do have an rnb playlist but I’m still organizing that one so it’s not public yet

How many pillows do you sleep with? 2. One to lay my head on and one to hug

What position do you usually sleep in? On the side, hugging my pillow like a shrimp

What you don’t like when you’re sleeping? When sleeping with others it’s the sound of snoring. When sleeping alone it’s the sound of mosquitoes/ flies/ bees zooming around. So I guess just noise in general

What do you typically have for breakfast? When I stay with my mom she cooks traditional Vietnamese breakfast like noodles or rice. When I’m on my own during the school year it’s typically just toast/ cereal/ granola bar

Have you ever tried archery? Nope, it looks cool tho!

Favorite fruit? Vietnam has this fruit called sapodilla that is super delicious but I can’t find it here. I also like dragonfruits, watermelons, mangoes, cherries (Basically sweet fruits) 

Favorite swear word? Can’t go wrong with fuck. A classic. Fuck off and Get fucked are my go-to

Do you have any scars? Not anymore. I got run over by a motorbike in elementary school and got 3 scars on my stomach but they all faded now

Are you a good liar? Not really. But since I’m a bad liar I typically tell the truth, which ends up making ppl trust me during the rare times I lie :p

What is your personality type? Well I got a different ones everytime I do the quiz so I just ended up google what each letter stands for and sorted myself lol. I align myself with ISFJ the most

What is your favorite type of girls? Fictional? Emma Woodhouse/ Cher Horowitz along with Ai Haibara from Detective Conan are my favorite heroines of all time (Snarky bitches with heats of gold). Irl? Girls with great sense of humor

Are you an innie or an outie? Innie

Left or right handed? Right

Favorite food? Vietnamese, Japanese, and Korean food

Favorite foreign food? Sushi/ poke, Korean bbq and fried chicken (In fact I just had a Korean cheese fried chicken earlier lol), tacos (esp fish tacos)

Are you a clean or messy person? Messy in terms of organization but I can’t stand actual dirt/ sticky substance

Most used phrase? “Well I guess...” or “Yeah...”

How long does it take for you to get ready? 15 mins normally, 45 mins when I wanna be more dressed up

Do you talk to yourself? Yeah. She makes a lot of good points!

Do you sing to yourself? Yes

Are you a good singer? Nope, I can’t hold a tune to save my life

Biggest fear? I have severe flight anxiety and always imagine what if the plane crashes when I get on a flight. Otherwise just typical stuff like ghosts or getting murdered

Are you a gossip? Not really irl but I do enjoy lurking online drama from time to time. Highly recommend the subreddit r/hobbydrama I have wasted a lot of times reading things on there haha

Do you like long or short hair? I typically cut my hair to chin length, let it grow to around my boobs & then cut again

Favorite school subject? From K-12: English (as a foreign language when I was in VN), French (when I move here, but I already forgot most of my french by now rip), History, Literature. So typical social studies stuff. I also enjoy math from time to time

Extrovert or Introvert? Mostly introvert but going to concerts is one my favorite activities ever and I do enjoy being in the crowd during those times. Also HCMC/ Saigon population is like 9 million so even though I cherish my own space I am kinda used to crowded places in general

What makes you nervous? Flights as mentioned above, public speaking, confrontations

Who was your first real crush? That one kid in elementary school who I can’t remember the name of but was really good at drawing

How many piercings do you have? Just 2, one on each ear. I haven’t worn earrings in a while tho I hope they haven’t closed yet...

How fast can you run? I’m terribly out of shape so not very fast lol

What color is your hair? Black. Had I been able to fly back to VN this summer I think I would have dyed it to a brown-pink color (think Jisung during Boom, but maybe more brown)

What color are your eyes? Black (although I read that black irises technically don’t exist, it’s actually a very deep brown color instead)

What makes you angry? Lots of things but unfairness & hypocrisy in general

Do you like your own name? Yeah. I like that it’s unisex, short, and easy to spell/ pronounce for people of all backgrounds (although some still misspell it as Ming...). It also means bright/ light which I think is cool. I also like my full name as a whole, kinda long but pretty unique

Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I think a girl but I’m open to both

What are your strengths? Straightforwardness and I’m pretty self-aware

What are your weaknesses? My lack of patience and my tendency to procrastinate lol

Color of your bedspread? Mint

Color of your room? White

[chiyohsrifle]

Got tagged by the marvelous @hvnnigram and I can't wait to bare my soul to you guys. this is a long one, so let's go!!

Rules: Tag people you want to get to know better 🖤

Your name and then what you would've named yourself: My full name is Montserrat (I'm Mexican, in case you couldn't tell. Well Mexican-American but anywho) but I typically go by Montse. Mainly cuz people struggle to pronounce my full name hehe but I also just think it's less of a mouthful. Idk, I honestly really love my name and don't think I'd change it given the chance. Maybe something shorter just cuz paperwork can be a bitch. I like Rene but otherwise, I'm pretty attached to my name lol.

Astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): I'm a sun Pisces, a moon Aries, and a rising Virgo, I believe :)) All in all, I'm an emotional, empathetic bitch

When did you join Tumblr and why?: Was going through my emails yesterday and I've been here for a year?? apparently. So yea, I joined Aug./Nov. of 2019 and I'm almost certain it was cuz I wanted to see more Good Omens fanart lol. But I got more active this year cuz quarantine do be forcing me to have some wack coping mechanisms. Also BBC Merlin had me reeling and I needed somewhere to scream.

Top 5 fandoms: Hannibal (obviously), BBC Merlin, Killing Eve, Good Omens, and The Umbrella Academy 😊

Top 5 favorite films: (oh Lord, the cinema buff in me is Panicking rn) God, there's so many I love but I'll try to give varietyTM. But I'm a Cheerleader (1999), Parasite (2019), The Wind Rises (2013), Little Shop of Horrors (1986), and Hector and the Search for Happiness (2014).

Go to song when you wanna Feel something: if we're talking like emotionally charged, TALK ME DOWN by Troye Sivan always sends me reeling. Endorphins wise, Ahora Te Puedes Marchar by Luis Miguel always makes me wanna jump and move around. And La Vie Boheme from RENT, just pure serotonin

What's your religion or faith, if you have one?: I was raised with a heavy Catholic background but I'm agnostic, I believe is the term. Basically, I don't think there's not a God or higher power(s). I just don't align with anything specifically. But I do believe there's something running things, whether that be spirits, the stars, gods, etc. I can't say.

A song that makes you feel seen: Not to be a theatre kid on main but, Breathe from In The Heights. That song and whole musical hold such a special place in my heart, esp with Nina's character cuz I'm Nina. Every part of that song just Gets Me and i ugh, can't articulate it but yea, that song be me.

If you could pick a career: A writer or painter. Anything creative/artsy really cuz crafting is just so calming to me.

Do you have a type?: ngl, I'm kinda the 'falls in love with their best friend' stereotype but beyond that, not really. I kinda just see attractive people and mentally short circuit

What does your soul/heart yearn for?: Not to sound like a character from Hannibal, but to be understood. To be cared for and feel supported. To allow myself to rest and be comforted/loved. Just to feel safe ig. Whoop, that got personal, anywho

If you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: intelligent, caring, awkward, Very Queer, and chaotic

Favorite subject in school: English and History!! I think they're absolutely fascinating and I'm gay so obviously I connect way too much with literature

Where does your soul feel most at home at?: Close to someone that I love, in comfortable silence. Or any situation where I have wind blowing in my face, it's super comforting and idk why

Top 5 fictional characters: Rowena from SPN, Bella Crawford, Beverly Katz, Eve Polastri, and Jack Crawford

Top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry:

1. The ending of Your Lie In April. Idk if any of yall have experienced that, but let me know if you have cuz shared trauma. I was crying so hard, I couldn't breathe. Dry heaving and everything, it was Not Pretty

2. Like literally all of One Day At Time. I know, it's cheesy but that show means a lot to me and I get so emotional watching it cuz I connect to the characters so much. Anything with Elena makes me sob cuz like she's me but also my baby, ya know

3. Um Queer Eye in general but specifically the episode with the gay pastor. That hit close to home on so many levels and boy, was I sobbing the entire time.

(Before y'all ask, honorable mention to Mizumono, TWOTL, and the ending of BBC Merlin cuz I may have been too tired to cry, but trust me, I was emotionally wrecked after all three)

The earth, the sun, the moon, or the stars: Ooh, I'm gonna have to go with the stars but I love that lesbian space rock too

Favorite kind of weather: Thunderstorms, rain, cloudy, grey weather. Fall, I love the fall, give me autumn pleASE

Top 3 characters to kin you with: Guinevere Pendragon from BBC Merlin, Vanya Hargreeves from TUA, and Abigail Hobbs from Hannibal

Favorite medium of art: I love all art very much but I guess drawing and film especially

Introvert/Extrovert/Ambivert: Gonna say ambivert cuz I can be shy but buckle up, cuz the second I'm comfortable around you, it's absolute chaos. You will learn too much about me and that's okay 😌

Favorite literary quote: If poetry counts, it's something like "And if the devil was to ever see you, he'd kiss your eyes and repent". Idk who wrote it but it's an Arabic love poem. Actual book quote tho, "But I'm tired of coming out. All I ever do is come out. I try not to change, but I keep changing, in all these little ways." from Simon vs. The Homosapiens Agenda cuz damn me too.

Some of your favorite books: Simon vs. The Homosapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli, the Carry On series by Rainbow Rowell, When I Was Puerto Rican by Esmeralda Santiago, Fun Home by Alison Bechdel, All The Bright Places by Jennifer Lee, Autoboygraphy, and Copper Sun

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?: Europe or New York. No real specifics for Europe, defiently leaning more towards Western Europe and the Mediterranean cuz they just seem so pretty. And NY cuz I want a studio apartment hehe and also I adore NY. I went a couple years back and just fell in love. Although live is a loose term cuz I've always thought of moving around a lot. I like traveling and settling down isn't really convenient for that so these are kinda just ideals lol

If you could live in any time in history, when would it be?: Oh, defiently 60s/70s. Also, anytime matriarch societies were common cuz I wanna see what that looked like

If you could play any instrument masterfully, it would be: the acoustic guitar and piano. Maybe violin, but those two for sure

If you have one, which god or goddess do you feel more connected to?: I've always really vibed with Athena so her. But also Diyonuses cuz man's is the ideal.

And finally, your favorite recent selfie in your camera role:

(Excuse the eye bags and look in general, I was sleepy when I took it)

Whoo, that's all folks. I'm just gonna say that any of my followers/mutuals who want to do this, feel free to say I tagged you. Thanks for tag, once again, babe!!

[heleneplays]

glad you liked the crane wives! <3 here are some songs for the week! a song i've had on repeat: rose festival by rogue valley. a song that sounds like the ocean: tested & tried by all the luck in the world. a song to make you go 🥺: sunflower by the weepies.

SONG ANON MY BELOVED,,, I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE!!!!

ngl they're here & still have them playing in my mind rent free while i'm reading Malice by Heather Walter ♡ (which. i just started but currently @ ch.3! it's so good so far i'm just out here vibing for Alyce ✊🏻😤 lets get u some self love mam and we'll get back @ Rose & Marigold & everyone else in here later!!!)

but uwu once again business as usual lemme just grab my headphones for a better experience 😌💖

BUT APPARENTLY THEY'RE RELATIVELY UNKNOWN THEY DON'T HAVE LYRIC VIDS????? song anon beloved how and where do u find THEM bc holy fuck

---

Song 1: Rose Festival - Rogue Valley

Thoughts: the music reminds me of country style and I think it's an acquired taste but IG I can't speak when the only country music I do listen to is from Trixie Mattel and Dolly Parton-- LFJFKFX anyways! my thoughts on the lyrics get drowned by the music of the instruments itself as of the moment but uGH i can't and won't think. music pretty tho 8/10 <3

---

Song 2: Tested & Tried - All the Luck in the World

My thoughts: MMMMMMMMMMMM it def sounds like a body of water but personally I'm thinking more of a still but deep lake! The vibes of the bkg music transport me to my childhood days of diving right into the middle and spending hours below the water, tbh... But OOF the LYRICS! IT'S-- AMAZING???? UGH HELLO these???

The river spirits masquerade in the cascade // I can't escape // But you're dancing with them // Learning to murmurate // Until you're just another figure // So I surrender to the spate // My faith in you has been tested and tried // One too many times // Darling around you it hurts // But when i'm alone its worse how do I put myself first // How do we put ourselves first

how do u find music that's so good but hurts from the relatableness + idea making vibes!!!!!! im in awe really 👉🏻👈🏻 but OOF my heart goes :(

hurt & comfort my beloved,,,

sidenote: currently listening disrespectfully @ their other songs (Pages + Never + Contrails in particular) and I think they'd be a good addition to a breakup playlist. the vibes..... they're out there somewhat sad mostly? but yeah. themmm 😔💔

---

Song 3: Sunflower by Weepies

My thoughts: My Android 8 Samsung phone can't read the emoji (hiss!!!!) rn so WHAT IS THE MOOD I DON'T KNOW YET BUT I WILL SOON--

oh

OH

OH!!!!! >:000

personally victimized. I cannot believe this. my helene spillane's entire personality & love for maría dragged. my wig is snatched. I cannot believe u found a perfect song to just. UGH. my heart,,,,, i'm crying. omg.

I'M CRYING??? HElLo

A little smile but your mouth is tight // Gentle petals crowd around your eyes // I wanna be the company you keep // I wanna be the one you come to when you fall asleep // If there's a place to grow // In your heart let me know // I'll be your sunflower // I shine for you // You know I'd do // Anything for you

hhhHHHhHHHhHhHh new drawing idea and im not even finished with my heart-attack inducing sin >:0 i cant beliEVE--

anyways UGH this song makes me soft!!! please take a flower, i think u deserve it

---

once again THANK & ilysm for the recs, they're refreshing! esp this week, coz' guess who's taking her midterms with 80% prep, 69% prayers, 41% no fucks and 420% energies? honk honk it me ♡

no the numbers are just random ahaha moving on

anyways oop once again I will be out here. saying ur recs are vibe-able but let me just *bonk* you with a pillow. bc once again i am hit with feels 😔💖💖💖

anyways i hope u have a super good day bc i'm definitely ending mine with a great note!

[sumeshi-t]

✨ self-ship tag game ✨

PART 2 | IwaLee (here you go, discord)

sorry if it's corny/cheesy LMAO my brain empty i can't think of anything to make for iwa's birthday i'm such a dumbass. was also supposed to draw an nsfw-ish thing for this but ya girl is feelin’ out of it lately sjhfalhj

How we met:

okay let’s just say i’m smart enough to land myself a scholarship in socal since i’m taking physical therapy anyway

i feel like... we would meet in the library LMAO what asian nerds

maybe i’d end up bothering him with the way i’m murmuring anatomy stuff and talking to myself when studying

so he overhears me struggling to remember that one word and he’s gonna fucking answer for me like okay sorry bud i’m stupid

jk i won’t react like that i’d just be like, “yes!” and turn to look at whoever it was who answered and say thank you because i’m so immersed in my own bubble of “knowledge” and big brain

when i notice that he’s actually cute i’d be fucking red in the ears out of embarrassment when he tells me to tone my voice down lmao so i apologize for being a bother :(

actually says, “don’t mind” damnit his english do be cute. just two asian kids far from home with accents

it’s awkward, but i’d steal glances at what he’s studying. would probably get caught after a looong while, but it’s bc i’ll be blanking off, brain tired

“do you have anything you want to ask?” he’ll be dropping his pen over his notes leaning back and stretching, bending his neck, rolling his shoulders while waiting for my answer

“omg i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to stare.” then i ask what his program is just bc he could be in one of my classes and i didnt know

anyway, turns out our schedules were pretty similar, we live in the same area/dorm, so like there’s always a chance for us to meet somehow

we wouldn’t give numbers to eo on that same day; like give it about two weeks of constantly bumping into eo before that happens

watch me share my highlighters with him, exchanging notes, passing some snacks beneath the table like its weed or sumn

from lib meetings to getting lunch together to being invited to watch his games (in freshman year i’d still go because i’d be less busier)

i would definitely use the honorifics on him, from “iwaizumi-san” gradually to “iwa-kun”; he won't admit that he likes it because it's a little piece of home

would convince to practice palpation with him because his body is a perfect example–

"wh-why don't you ask someone from your class?"

"i'm not that close with—are you blushing? omg you are!"

somehow i joke around, "i won't touch your dick," then i'd laugh at his reaction.

anyway, in return for using his body as a model, i have to sit through a godzilla marathon with him

the first time he sees me breakdown from the stress he's kinda flustered at first; but he's seen similar things with oikawa so he has a faint idea what to do. damn his hugs feel so warm, so safe

i'm quicker to open up to him, once i got comfortable; and reassurance that if he needed someone to talk to i'll also be there

basically a slow burn best friends to lovers kinda thing

ngl i'd be crushing on him by the time we're entering second year maybe? but because we're friends i always throw the thought away because i don't wanna ruin what we have

but da heart wants what it wants

it would take: the teasing of his buddies back at japan after seeing him post ig pics of us together (it was me who did it, i grabbed his phone); and, my own set of friends getting annoyed at me for always being in denial—all these just for us to finally come into terms with what we feel for eo

"i have something to tell you," we'll say to eo before we enter the lib ksksksk

"oh, you go first-" "no, you-"

it's awkward but i'll be the first to confess and he's 👁👁

"you... what?" "smh don't make me say it again, iwa. does this mean we're not friends anymore?"

"yeah"

"oh..."

"because i like you too. you... wanna go out with me?"

First date x type of dates:

study dates are automatically a thing for sure; we've upgraded from lib to cafe dates

since we're like, friends before this, potential stuff for first dates are already crossed out since we've kinda done them already???

so this issue was raised and his mind said, "then let's redo everything,"

the first thing we did outside campus was go on a foodtrip. because i was craving filo food, and he was craving jap food. and then i have this kinda habit that when i get to eat something delicious, i silently squeal or hum in my seat he finds that cute

the "first date" doesn't really have to be grand because we're like... close friends with feelings. so we don't have to try hard to please each other. everything just feels natural when we're together

anyway, we try out the food we didn't have before. he still prefers sinigang over adobo. he's still kinda amazed where i put all the food after eating a bowl of ramen that's good for two

he's gonna take a pic of me in that excited face i make when the food is placed before me and make it his wallpaper (homescreen) secretly

after that, we're just walking, me telling him about something i watched or nerd talk, then he slips his hand against mine, holding it and pulling me closer that it makes me shut up–so he laughs

"that's all it takes to get you quiet, babe?"

"w-what? also... did you just call me babe? because i didn't think i'd like it,"

"i know something you'll like," he stops walking, then, with his free hand he cups my face and pulls in for a kith kith 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

i am blushing when i tell him, "that your first kiss?"

"y-yeah, why?"

"same"

we were already walking and he swoops in for a quick peck again, "then that's the second,"

he says that with a little frown on his face, cheeks also flushed and ugh soft!lee—i lean my head against his arm because i'm too short to put it above his shoulder. but anyway i tell him, "didn't think you had it in you to be this soft for me,"

"sh-shut up"

it doesn't seem romantic because ✨it doesn't have to be when we're already happy✨

While we’re dating:

he saves all the selfies i send him; whether it's the meme-ish ones or just me feelin' good about myself he's got them saved

notebooks getting interchanged kskskss it's terrible because one minute i'm reading my notes about pharma, then i flip a page and i see stuff about sports science like–???

tho what makes it cute is that he has tiny scribbles on corners in hiragana or maybe kanji and some random zigzag lines over some words–a sign that he fell asleep with a pen in his hand

i have lots of caps (that are majority of my dad's but i like them all so i brought sum) and he just... gets one from behind my door (it's the same energy as the hoodies thing)

and i 🥺 bc he actually looks good in caps like??? sir that's illegal

ok but walks in the beach at sunset

also surfer!iwa???? mhhhh yes yes living the dream honestly

ofc volleyball is involved, he's kinda pleased i can play decently. it's either the gym or vb

he would force me to go to the gym smh "you're a PT aren't you? shouldn't you be moving around too?" i'm gonna grumble but the sight of his er, toned body before during and after exercising is the best reward

actually its a win-win, he likes how my butt is outlined by my jog pants and how for him, i still look good even if i'm sweaty all over

hehe we'd end up getting horny by the time we reach the dorms–you know the rest and afterwards:

"so, you'll go to the gym more often now?"

"if it ends up like this, i wouldn't mind,"

we teach eo our mother language! but only on our spare time. omg imagine him telling me "mahal na mahal kita"??? i'm??? or when he's chatting with oikawa (especially that one time he sent a selfie of him and ushijima) he uses tagalog swear words if he just wants to mess with his best friend

vidcalls with each other's fam—i mean, for my parents they know we've been always close, and like, it will be my grandma/dad who'd ask him, "when will you court my granddaughter/daughter?"

he got so nervous, he stuttered, "i'm... i'm courting her already,"

anyway they approve of him because he is smart^TM and a good man 🥺 because they know he has ambitions in life the same way that i do have my own goals i wanna achieve

meanwhile me, i'm gonna be so nervous trying to speak to his fam, but they're all so sweet so i tell him afterwards, "so that's where you get the softies,"

anyway since this is college we're talking about, every passing year, we both become busy, especially when internships come around

but when he can, he'll fetch me from the hospital with comfort food because he knows it's been a rough day and he wants to make sure i'm taking care of myself 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 lowkey i try to do the same for him because he deserves it; but he says it's okay and that i should be preserving my energy for my studies 😭

[wickwackity]

dew them a l l then pussy 👀👀👀 u wont

yes i WILL

cracking knuckles as we speak to type this all out

ALRIGHT i’m not retyping 1, 20, and 29 i’m too lazy to copy paste

2) have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

yes yes i have and while i will not be tagging them, xtarmanderx on ao3/tumblr. they write brett so well it knocks me off my feet every time

3) list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with

goddamn this is going to be so long ok

teen wolf: nolan, percy jackson: nico, the society: grizz, all for the game: neil, my hero academia: shouji

4) do you like your name? is there another name you think would be a better fit?

i do like my name, it took me a while to pick it out. i’ve stuck with grant for like 2ish years now? but sometimes i wonder if it doesn’t fit me all that well. been thinking about changing it to something like mason or mark cause that’s semi close to my deadname

5) this is a long question i’m not typing it out

ngl i stares at it for a solid 2 minutes trying to figure out what it meant,,, and i think i lean more towards human being instead of doing. while i think actions can speak louder than words, sometimes it’s impossible to do actions (if that makes sense)

6) are you religious/spiritual?

nah, i’m atheist. my dads a hardcore catholic but i’ve never felt a connection with god or a higher being. although one time i went to church with a few of my friends when i lived in louisiana and as soon as i walked in, they looked at me and said “i’m surprised you didn’t burst into flames in the doorway” so yah that happened

7) do you care about your ethnicity?

i care about it for other people. because i’m white, so i need to care and be conscious of the privilege i have as to not hurt other people, yknow?

8) what musical artists have you connected with most over your lifetime?

hollywood undead, sleeping with sirens, my chemical romance, and a few others. i look up to kellin and gerard way so much

9) are you an artist?

yes 😼

10) do you have a creed?

had to look that up and the answer is no

11) describe your ideal day

well in the perfect world brett would be alive. but in reality? wake up around 8-9, easy my way through the morning. grab coffee or an energy drink. go to the movies. eat ramen. listen to music all day. probably eat either sour patch kids or ice cream. that would be nice

12) dog person or cat person?

dog! i have a doberman mix named danny whomst i love very much. partial to snakes tho since i also have one

13) indoors or outdoors?

indoors all the way, fuck you bugs and sunburns

14) are you a musician?

i can drum pretty well. been wanting to pick up bass for when school starts. but i wouldn’t consider myself good enough to be a musician

15) 5 most influential books

this kinda ties into 1 answer with what books to read. but for me

percy jackson series, the song reader, lord of the flies, cirque du freak series (think that’s how you spell it...), and a boy called it

16) if you grew up in a different environment, would you be the same?

i think i’d be happier. more content with myself. but i think my main personality would be very similar

17) would you say tumblr is a fair representation of the real you?

in all honestly? it’s probably the MOST fair. i don’t have anyone i know irl on my tumblr, so i’m not thinking about who would be able to see my account. i can be myself, talk about my interests freely, it’s nice. i like tumblr.

18) what’s your patronus?

god i cant remember. i’d have to log into my pottermore to see, but i think it’s a dog breed of some sort.

19) harry potter house? would you be a muggle?

i’m a hufflepuff - to the surprise of absolutely no one

21) do you love easy?

that’s complicated. i think i fall in love with characters, but i don’t think i’ve ever genuinely been in love with a person. so i’m gonna day no

22) list top 5 things you spend doing in order

1. lay in bed

2. read fanfiction

3. listen to music

4. scroll social media (especially tik tok)

5. draw

23) how often do you wanna see your family a year?

as little as possible. maybe once or twice

24) have you ever felt like you had a mind meld with someone?

idk if this counts but sometimes it seems like you and i have the same thoughts in regards to talbotson it’s freaky. aside from that, the only other one i can think of is when my close friend and i figured out we are basically the same person; birthday and all. i’m a year and an hour older than her tho

25) could you live as a hermit?

easily. as long as i have music and a pencil/paper, and my phone? id be happy. food and drink too ofc

26) how would you describe your gender/sexuality?

pretty set in stone. i’ve known my gender since the 4th grade, and it hasn’t changed (feelings wise). i had to do a little self discovery for my sexuality but it didn’t take long to figure out i exclusively like guys

27) do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the real you?

meh. i guess. obviously being a non-medically transitioned trans person it’s not perfect? but i’m getting there :) and i’m pretty comfortable with myself

28) scale of 1-10 how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?

6 or 7. honestly depends on what the topic is but i’m fairly easy to get agitated i suppose

30) pick one of your favorite quotes

“we are the champions of the world”

MY EYES HURT FROM STARING AT THIS BUT I FUCKIN DID IT! AHA