#i had to sort through many twilight-related posts

[anais-shiv]

How serious are we allowed to take this ship?

Hello! Anais here!

This post is going to be pure word vomit, inconsistent thought chains, and a giant rollercoaster of emotions. 

Before I make many of my points, I will add a caveat or disclaimer that seems redundant but is actually completely necessary for readers to get the whole picture. (See, I’m doing it now.) 

It’s very difficult for me to complete a thought without setting it up with another. 

Anyways…

You ever heard the question “What’s that one fanfiction that altered your brain chemistry?”

For me, there’s no particular fic, but there is a specific fandom/ship that has rewired my neurons as a whole. And that fandom is none other than Dramione. 

(Note: this post will not be a critique of the fandom or any of its works in any way. This post is about me and how I’m slowly descending into madness in the most fragile of ways. [Did you catch that? Eh? Ehh? winks] And it’s about time I spoke my truth.) 

I was introduced to fanfiction at the tender age of 13, in the height of the Harry Potter and Twilight movies. And I was a Twilight girl through and through. (Team Jacob till I die!) 

I only read fanfiction for one purpose and one purpose only, to read about Jacob being with characters other than Bella or her daughter Raincoat. If it weren’t for those early days on Wattpad, I would’ve never discovered that I had a kink for pain, and that I would always choose warm brown skin over a pale cold alternative. 

Then some things happened in my life, I got older, stared dating and hanging out and I simply forgot about it. 

Then, the trailer for Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows dropped. And in order to prepare, I consumed all seven books of the series in a week. (Oh to still have the young and focused mind that could consume a book in mere hours.) 

To say I loved it was an understatement, so much so that I refused to read any Harry Potter fanfiction I saw pop up on my Wattpad screen. (The old Wattpad that had a brown banner, and a similar font to Times New Roman, and that allowed people to upload entire real life books so long as they purposely added grammar mistakes to not get caught for plagiarism, not saying that’s right but Lordt, what a time.) 

Most of the fics I saw weren’t even about specific ships, they were just about life after the epilogue, with many writers opting to create entirely new characters, usually being children of the originals. Regardless, I ignored them all. Harry Potter was perfect, it didn’t need expanding or alternate universes. 

Fast forward some more, more life happened, and I sort of stopped reading books and fanfiction all together. 

I’m 27 now. 

I found Dramione only last year, through TikTok like many others. And my first fic, like many others, was Manacled. 

It was life changing, riveting, mind altering, and absolutely heartbreaking. 

I needed more. 

So I read and read and read. Joined the Reddit, joined a discord (I love you DADA!) and even started trying to write my own fics. 

Then, all of a sudden my hyper fixation began to wear off, and I started to get bored with the whole thing altogether.

I was kind of disappointed, as it was very difficult for me to start and keep hobbies and even more difficult to make friends. It was nice having something to relate to other people with, even something as specific as liking an HP ship. As someone as socially awkward and shy as I am, I was worried I wouldn’t find another focal point to relate to other people with, and I would go back to wallowing in my own bloody slutty and pathetic despair. (Did you at least catch that one?)

Then I found a new WIP that made me feel like a brand new fan all over again. 

Our lovely Gryffindor and sulky Slytherin had sunk their claws back into me, bone deep this time, (Did you fucking catch that one?!) and I was right back where I started.

So of course, in between replaying smut scenes in my head over and over and over and over again while simultaneously wallowing in my self inflicted isolation, (COME ON PEOPLE IM THROWING EM AT YOU!) I started to ponder: Why in the fuck do I like this ship so much?? 

The romantic relationship between Hermione and Draco is based off a trope as old as the London bridge. Our wonderful beautiful cliché: enemies to lovers. 

We love the idea of someone seeing you when you’re not at all trying to impress them, be friendly or mindful or considerate or empathetic or even cordial, and still falling in love with you anyways. 

Just the raw authenticity behind such a love is so entrancing, that we’ll read the same story over and over again in different fonts. 

At first, I resisted my curiosity regarding Dramione, as I thought Hermione was the walking embodiment of girls get it done, and Draco was nothing but sniveling spoiled bigoted coward and bully. (Not to mention I never noticed how hot Tom Felton actually was in the later movies. Why didn’t anyone tell meeee???)

His feud with Harry added to my dislike of him, but that could somewhat be dismissed as boys being boys. It was intolerance and ignorance towards Hermione that made me hate him. As well as his quick use of threats in his fathers name any time someone so much as disagreed with him. Needless to say, Draco Malfoy was a punk bitch. Through and through. Not my words, take it up with JKR. 

So why on Earth would I ever enjoy reading about him, of all people, falling in love with and being chosen by the Hermione Granger, one of the greatest representations of nerdy awkward beautiful bad ass girls to ever exist, after he regarded her so horribly? And over Ron at that? 

It was a hard adjustment. 

Because to me, their story wasn’t simply enemies to lovers. To me it was a story of a member of an oppressive group, experiencing the mortifying ordeal of being in love with a member of the oppressed. (If you didn’t catch this one just log off.) 

"Anais, it’s not that deep."

I know. I know. But this thought process can’t be helped. 

To put it simply, Dramione reminded me of that one movie with the black girl falling in love with the Nazi soldier. Or another better written version of the book about the Latina girl who fell in love with the klan leader's son. Or even on a less extreme note, about the Asian girl falling in love with the racist boy who actually turned out to be not so racist, seeing he only used the slurs because it’s what his dad taught him and peer pressure made him and he was going through such a hard time back then but he knows better now, and honestly they were only kids, and you can’t help the environment you were raised in and-

Ok, so I made that last one up, but you get the point. 

Manacled being my first fic didn’t really help diminish this connection my mind was making while trying to enjoy this fandom. And that wasn't the only fic that influenced the analysis, because the main premise to many other fics was acknowledging ones ability to grow and change for the better. And the only way to do that, was to acknowledge the ugly shit of their past. 

And no other example made such a direct reference to Draco's past and sometimes present ideologies (depending on the fic you read) as the use of the word mudblood. 

Ah, mudblood. 

Such a dirty, disgusting, abhorrent and absolute slimy fucking use of the English language. 

So obvious in its implication, no different than Shacklebolt or Cho Chang (you really popped off with those didn’t you JK?) that the lack of subtlety almost made the slur hit harder. 

Mudblood. It was simple in it's meaning. Dirty. Inferior. And worthless.

Reading about Draco calling Hermione the ugly name for the first time in CoS made me cringe, but experiencing similar real life altercations made me loathe it’s existence entirely.

"Anais, it’s really not a that deep."

I know! Just, hold on. 

It was such a fucked up word, I hated it. 

So imagine my surprise when I read and heard the word being used so freely and casually in fics, cosplay TikToks, edits and other forms of fandom media. 

And no matter how much I reminded myself that the word wasn’t real, these characters weren’t real, and that the word had no real history because the world it came from didn’t even exist, I could not for the life of me, stop hearing another word as an afterthought every time I read it and heard it. 

Can you guess which word that is? 

Here’s an example of what my mind does whenever the word is used: 

“If you're wondering what the smell is, Mother, a mudblood (n*****) just walked in.”

“Haven’t I told you? Killing mudbloods (n******, he means n******) doesn’t matter to me anymore.” 

“I don’t need help from filthy little mudbloods (n******) like her!”

Do you understand what I go through?! 

Needless to say I prefer fics where the word isn’t used at all. 

Oh to be able to enjoy harmless free fiction without constantly comparing the plight of the imaginary world’s minorities to the very real systemic racism experienced by black and poc people every where. sigh

Yeah, I’m that girl at the party (not really, mostly I’m quiet. Because if I talk, I'll be that girl at the party.) 

It can’t be helped. 

So here’s me, experiencing this fandom for the first time, enjoying enemies to lovers that’s really not enemies to lovers but more like racist learns that racism is bad through falling in love with the very kind of person he was raised to be racist towards and what better way to unlearn bigoted indoctrination than through spending time with said person who just so happens to be extraordinary and not like the others from said group (because if Muggleborns aren't extraordinary are they really worth loving?) and also insanely beautiful and also clever and extremely desirable and the unlearning had nothing to do with that attraction right? He became better purely from his own desire to evolve....right?????? 

(Obviously my interpretation of the ship is extremely biased and a gross generalization. There is no right way to do Dramione. Of course Draco had the capacity to better himself without Hermione. That much is canon. And even though the wizarding world has extreme prejudices within it's society, it was probably nothing compared to how any of them would be treated if the statute of secrecy was broken. There’s levels. Don’t worry. I get it. There's layers.) 

But do you see the implications as it pertains to these two as individuals? Especially regarding their backgrounds?

After my adjustment period, I realized that these implications meant that Draco’s growth was actually extremely complicated. It wasn't just enemies to lovers, it was a complex narrative that called attention to how difficult unlearning toxic and harmful ideologies could be. And while I have no idea if writers and creators ever intended to highlight the parallels between his and Hermione's story and that of very real people who fell in love even when it was dangerous and against all odds, they were impossible not to notice. Thus making his character, one of the realest and most realistic characters of the entire fandom.

And that is precisely why I fell in love. 

(No but seriously, reading about Draco from a such an intimate standpoint from either his or Hermione’s POV had me rethinking my entire dating history, taste in men, and marriage goals. And I’m not just talking about the smut!) 

Listen you know you’ve got a problem when you sit and consume fanfiction for two days straight with barely any breaks for food or sleep.  

I consumed several fics in a short span of a couple of weeks, most of them being smutty one shots. I came to develop, as we all have, a specific preference for certain characterizations. I commented, liked and shared. And I even attempted to write my own (to be announced) Dramione stories. 

I discovered new kinks, was inspired by my oh so talented friends and other writers, and I even considered (still am) dying my hair brown. 

(What? Obsessed. Psh. No. Of course not.)

Now, I’ve entered a phase of careful curation. After having deleted all of my Ao3 tabs by mistake, (fuck the iphone) I’ve been finding fics through very specific filtering rather than recommendations. And when I have the time, reading for hours and hours on end. As well as joining the occasional writing sprint. 

Eventually I’d like to start creating fan art and posting full fledged Dramione stories. This fandom is one of the most beautiful, sexy and entertaining fandoms I’ve ever come across. And when I'm not thinking and about the political and economic state of the wizarding world and how deeply that plays into our favorite ship, I'm actually just fangirling. 

Anyways, that’s all for now folks! 

Anais: out! 

[rrainydaydreams]

@violet27writes I had to make a post because I had some ideas (I love the au concept!) but rambled too much to comment on your community post! Hope this is ok, sorry that I go on and on ^u^

So first of all, I have some questions!

Are you having characters like Four and Hyrule as their ‘typical’ swaps that the fandom know of? As in Four being Minish and Hyrule being a Fae? Or are the species swap specific to them or random?

Because Wind could be a Zora because of his connection to water, but he also doesn’t have them in his time I believe. But it would also be fun to see him as something like a korok because then there could be the problem of only a few of them being able to see him.

Do you know the cause of how they ended up like this?

Have they come across some sort of magic item in their own eras which transformed them and also brought them together?

Have they fallen through the portals and then been transformed?

Or is it intentional? Maybe the villain (dark link or someone else) has changed them to try and make them more vunerable?

Genre?

Is it crack, fluff, ect? Is the fic going to be for laughs or is the transformations an actually problem that stops the heroes from doing something such as fighting?

What kind of species are they limited to?

Are they just going to be transformed into species that you would interact with in-game, or might some of them also change into monster species?

Ok, sorry that’s a lot. But now some other thoughts on what they might turn into!

Sky: probably something with wings? Like a rito or even a loftwing

Four: If he turned into a Minish he would definitely have some experience, but maybe he can’t get to a Minish portal to turn back. Four would probably be the character who could provide jabber nuts incase if communication barriers

Time: again, if Time turned into a deku scrub he would already have some experience. Other options could also be a fairy or koroki

Wind: like I said before, a Zora would connect him to the water but it would also be fun to see him as something small and chaotic!

Twilight: well there’s already the option of his wolf form (maybe a missing shadow crystal prevents him from turning back, like in alternatemind’s dog days au on ao3) or possibly a twili?

Legend: Like twilight, legend could get stuck in his bunny form! I’m not sure what else beyond that so I’ll have to have a think…

Hyrule as a fae/fairy as one idea, but I’ll have to come back to you again for something else

Wild could be many things, especially a nature-related creature, but there’s also a lot of transformation fics out there involving him that you could get inspiration from

Warriors: Again, I’m not quite sure for warriors. I think @/crazylittlejester mentioned something a while ago about a cat form for him but then again that’s not exactly what you’re looking for, is it? It would always be interesting to see him as something like a Goron

Other thoughts:

Them learning how to navigate their new bodies would be something fun to see

You mentioned how they think that they are the only Hylian in the group, which means that reveal could be hilarious

If they’ve been transformed for a reason, are they going to be attracted when they’re most vulnerable? Some of them might not even be able to wield weapons properly

I love the name of the au as well!

That’s all for now, apologies again for it being so long.

[needfantasticstories]

Summary: The Chain finally tracks down Wind only to find him changed in a way that leaves Legend speechless. Continuation from days 6 and 14.

Art of War

Wolfie shot out of the city gates, Warrior and Impa racing behind. Wild and Legend and the other heroes followed as they pounded across the drawbridge.

All except Wind.

Legend hoped Wind was alright, despite what he’d seen in the cellar. Perhaps he was still asleep, not aware yet of what had been done to him. If these mysterious enemies had been so cruel as to hamstring a literal child (nevermind that he was a seasoned hero already, since they probably didn't know what) and carry him away in a wagon, then what else were they willing to do? What could they want with a child? Could they have been cursed, as the knights of his era had been? Was not the shadow, but Gannon somehow behind this? Hadn't Wind been through enough, having to face that man and kill him in a desperate fight to save his world?

Wolfie slowed at the fork in the road beyond the bridge, and turned toward the path that rose over the tree-dappled hills, and disappeared. He pointed the way with his nose and boofed.

“They brougth Wind all the way out here? Why?” Warrior asked in concern, wiping a bit of sweat from his brow. The path from Castletown had zigzagged through dozens of stops, each one to deliver packages to various military posts, but nothing in the mail General Impa confiscated seemed out of the ordinary.

“There are fresh tracks. The mail wagon would be an easy place to hide him.” General Impa grumbled. "There's a fort ahead, one day's journey from here on foot. We can reach it by nightfall if we're swift."

Warrior looked back at the others. They all had a sheen of sweat from the search that morning, realizing Wind was missing, looking for him, asking Queen Zelda for aid, and then following a series of leads, leading here. Could they last a whole day of walking, and reach Wind in time?

“I can see the tracks.” Four declared, interrupting the Captain's calculations. “Warrior, let Legend and me go ahead with Wolfie. We might be able to catch up before they get far.”

“Do it,” he agreed, a fragile flutter of hope pressing on his heart.

Four bolted forward so quickly both Legend and especially Wolfie struggled to catch up. The path veered over a trio of hills, and before they’d crested the last one Wolfie already fell behind, so efficient were their pegasus boots.

Warrior took the lead with the other heroes at a slow pace.

Sky panted, feeling guilty. He knew it was probably for his sake, above any of the others, that they rested. But no point in letting the chance go to waste, he took his time, trusting the trio ahead to do their duty. Such had been his life, learning that other heroes would have to step in and help him. That he alone would never be enough, and his spirit would pay for that fact for eternity. And yet he knew Hylia was not nearly so disappointed as he was in himself, if Sun spoke truly. With a resigned sigh, he rolled his shoulders and continued at an even, easy pace.

Wild felt so useless. He couldn't go fast, he couldn't track quite as well as Twilight, and he couldn't sniff out traitors like Warrior. He stood beside Time, sulking more than he knew he should, but what good was he to Wind right now? Why had he pointed out the bakery? Wild was the last person to have seen Wind. I should have been paying better attention, Wild thought.

Hyrule watched Four and Legend leave with a pang. He had a terrible feeling about all this. There was a twisted, backwards sort of magic all along the wagon's trail. Thing that should not be was the nearest he could articulate it in his own mind. He wished his magic could be more specific.

Time took many deep, steadying breaths. He knew the flavors of treachery among the soldiers back there. He knew the looks they gave the captain, the looks that once had turned on him, a boy of what, twelve? Sixteen? He wasn't sure how old he was then, in mind or body, it all got so turned around in Termina. He could count the minutes, hours and days, but they had less claim on him. So he didn't know how old he was when the traitors set their sights on him as an easy path to hurt the captain. He only knew Wind was older, braver, and hardly recognizable as the future version of little Wind. The boy who looked up to him with shining eyes would someday tear apart armies of enemies just to stand by his head and rub his knuckles into Time's hair before slamming massive machines into their enemies. Wind's future could not end here. Time would make certain of it. And he knew Wars felt the same.

***

Far ahead, Four reached the third hilltop. Below him, the wagon trundled forward, the lone horse galloping hard. When the two soldiers sitting in front turned and saw the small hero nearly flying over the road towards them, they whipped the horse to run harder. But it could not. The horse was spent, and reared violently. The men jumped off the wagon and made a pathetic attempt to run away, but with a bit more force than strictly necessary, Four knocked their drawn swords away and dragged them back to the wagon by their collars. Legend had taken control of the wagon, and brought it to a stop, and Four made sure to drag them over every rock he found as he made his way to it. He hogtied the traitors and demanded answers, crouching with his hammer held

casually in one hand.

Inside, Legend tore open boxes, searched the contents, and even checked the floor for any secret compartments.

He found nothing.

A whine announced Wolfie’s arrival before the animal jumped inside behind him.

“You smell him anywhere?” The veteran asked, fear creeping into his question. What had he missed?

Wolfie whined again, but sniffed all around. He paused at a tall box no thicker than a board. A haze of black filled the wagon, and when it cleared Legend found Twilight had torn the side of a wooden box open. Inside, Legend spied the corner of an ornate gray frame, and his stomach dropped like a lead weight. How?

Twilight pulled the linen wrappings surrounding the painting away, and gasped.

It was a painting of Wind lying on the floor of the cellar they’d so recently left behind, his ankles bandaged but bleeding through the white fabric. His eyes were closed, and almost peaceful.

Twilight felt sick. “Who did this to him? Who would paint this?” He shook his head in horror.

Legend clenched his fists, and the growl in his throat swelled into a guttural scream. “HOW? HOW? THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY!”

“Woah, Legend!” Twilight stepped back, leaning the painting away with his movement. “What in Ordon’s Light is going on here?”

Four jumped into the wagon, drawn by Legend’s rage. He looked at the painting and scowled in confusion. He reached a hand out to it, but dared not touch it. “What does this mean, Legend?”

Twilight examined the back of the framed canvas while Legend scrambled at the wooden case, searching savagely for something.

“Legend! Explain.” Four demanded coldly.

Legend held up the front of the box, and huffed, ignoring Four. “So that’s what he’s going by. Fitting.” The Veteran held up the name of the recipient.

Twilight read aloud, “Lord Puriti?” and he studied the rest of the address, committing it to memory. “His address is inside the castle. So why is it going all the way out here?”

Four folded his arms. “Maybe he’s still trying to throw us off the trail. Whoever they are, I doubt they understand who they’re up against.”

“He might, if he went after Wind. He’s not from this era either, but this seems…planned.” Legend replied. “He might know a lot about us.”

“You know who this guy is?” Twilight asked.

Legend nodded. “His real name is Yuga. From my world, or rather the mirror of my world. He did this same thing to Princess Zelda, and me, and the heirs of the sacred Sages. This isn’t just a painting. That is Wind. He’s trapped in there.”

“What?” Twilight stared closer, as if expecting Wind to move. “How? And how do we get him out?”

“Hopefully, with this.” Legend drew out a thick gold bracelet from his bag. A large gap in the center stood out, clearly meant to house some sort of large gem or jewel, but the gold frame folded smoothly around the empty space. “I can’t use it anymore, not since Hilda sent us back from the mirror world to our own. But…” he spun the bracelet in his hands, and looked up at Wind. “Ravio would know what to do,” he mumbled. "But there might be a way, if I can repeat it.” He shoved the bracelet onto his wrist and covered it with his sleeve, then took the other side of the painting. He and Twilight situated it within its protective box once more, and arranged the packages around to keep it safely in place.

Four guided the wagon back toward Castletown. The traitorous soldiers tied securely in the back. Twilight's dark glare kept them from voicing their complaints.

“Did you find him?” Warrior called and ran up when the wagon came into view. The others ran up behind him.

“Yes, and no.” Legend replied, jumping out of the wagon. “You all need to see this.”

Emotions raged from horror to outrage. General Impa laughed darkly when she read the recipient’s name. “Lord Puriti? The gaudy artisan gunning to be appointed our Court Painter?” Impa sounded incredulous. “He’s the one behind their disappearances?”

Legend explained all he knew from his battles with the villain.

“I think it’s time we pay him a visit,” Warrior said, staring at the painting, his face in covered in shadow.

[therobishow]

Saw your post and who am I to deny an opportunity to rant about terrible terrible twilight knock offs?

Okay so ever since twilight came out in 2005, there's been a load of knock offs inspired by the "vampire=hot and sexy/mysterious" and while some of them are, this author P.C cast and Kristen Cast saw the idea and cranked it up more than was necessary because what the hell.

The book is called House of Night and there are lots of books. And the idea of being a vampire was that you had to be marked/chosen in order to undergo it's transformation which. If you were chosen, you had to be with a fully fledged vampire until you were fully fledged yourself which is a long process (around four years) and what is a better place than being with a bunch of fully grown vampires than a academy with other chosen with the fledglings as the teachers?

I'm not gonna lie, it's a great concept but it's terrible what the authors done with it. Transformations don't always work and the chosen sometimes die, but in order to prevent this- you had to be pretty and not fat. Shockingly this isn't the worst thing on the list of how many messed up things this book had done

Then the authors worsen the book more by having the characters be problematic. (They sl#t shame a lot and this doesn't make sense since it's common knowledge that drinking human blood /blood in general is sexual in the story)

Examples include saying the r word, fetishizing queer characters, making a white character "twins" with a black character because they're just so alike like using aave as an example (and the black character she's twinning with is terribly written as well so it just ends up more terrible)

And absolutely terribly horrendous relationships!!

The main character is the "not like other girls tm" and so she gets the bad boy, some sort of thousand year old grandpa boyfriend, a TEACHER boyfriend, and a human boyfriend 😭 (for the amount of shaming this book has, the main character is getting busy with every boy she meets)

AND WHAT MAKES THIS BOOK MORE WORSE is that they thought it was cool to use Indigenous culture but strip everything about said culture so they can fit use what they thought was cool to use in the story. Im happy for any type of indigenous reputation as an indigenous person myself but WHY

They just made the main character (who was named Zoey redbird btw, cool last name tbh but absolutely shitty character) have op powers and call her a "Cherokee princess" with no respectful mention of Cherokee culture at all. They just made their own thing and slapped the word Cherokee on it and shipped it as representation.

For a character that's supposed to be non-white, she was acting the opposite despite being close with her grandma who was Indigenous (+ being stereotypical) and inheriting op powers that were meant to be from her "culture"

PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH

I don't even know how I saw past the red flags as a kid reading this book but now that I have, I'm just so angry just thinking about it 😭

I hope this rant of mine was entertaining

I was just on the right side of too old to hear about this series back when it came out. So let me tell you, it was an absolute trip to see what was in these books when my friends started raving about them a few years later.

Like, this? This is what they were so hyped about? I'd rather them tell me how much they love 50 Shades - well, okay, that's a little too far, but still.

I truly don't understand how any woman survived the absolute peak of fatphobia that we hit in the 2000s. And I'm including myself in that. No idea how I lived through it. These were the days when people were calling Britney Spears fat for being a size 4 instead of a 0. How did women not just collectively die off? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that we made it through, but holy hell it was by the skin of our teeth.

So someone really needs to tell me what the actual hell was going on in the 2000s that made every piece of teen media present teacher/student relationships like a totally cool and not abusive and traumatizing thing. Remember how grossed out everyone was by the Archie/Grundy relationship in Riverdale? In the 2000s, no one would have batted an eye at that. It would have fit right in with every other teen show at the time. I can't watch hardly any of my favorite high school shows anymore because of that. Ugh, so gross.

And holy shit I forgot she was indigenous! Well, in heavy quotes at least. That Cherokee Princess nonsense is such a White People move and I just can't. I don't know what's worse regarding indigenous rep, House of Night or Twilight. My man Charles de Lint isn't perfect and he's fucked it up a few times, but at least he actually tries and shows respect (um, hey, if he's actually far worse than I think, please let me know).

But, hey, in maybe possibly good news, apparently the writers are trying to convince the publishers to let them rewrite the series so they can do something about all the problematic stuff. That at least has the potential of growth for them

[foxmountchristen-archive]

tagged by my dear @claremontes​!

rules: search “your name + core + aesthetic” on pinterest, and make a moodboard about yourself

tagging: @illplantflowers @sonnymalones @donnasheriden @allieyourally​ @hasan-minhaj​ + anyone else who’d like to! ♡

[lemonlurkrr]

@aureateart​ ok. My favourite parts of twilight princess  (and some other random thoughts about TP sprinkled in there) taken from my monster TP word vomit google doc :

Link lmao

Ok but for real, I like this incarnation of Link :)

I love Ordon (it just seems like such a chill and cozy village)

ALSO love how easy it is to interpret Link as being a sort of older brother figure to the Ordon kiddos. It’s just,, super cute? AND GHHH nice nice good thanks nintendo for giving me characters to care about/characters that I can imagine Link caring about

He didn’t sign up for any of this (tbh, none of the Links really signed up for this jshdjsd). But I mean like, dude was just going to take a trip to castle town, drop a gift off for the royal family, and come back. But haHA oopsies he did get to castle town eventually but definitely not the way he expected hsjdhsd

He’s just a little dude?

AND FUCK. HE REALLY HAD NEVER BEEN OUTSIDE OF ORDON UNTIL ALL OF THAT

everything is new for the player AND Link

Midna

She’s cool :)

she really just

*teleports into your jail cell* hello whore.

I am no master at writing but AYYYY she do got a character arc!!!

She was actually pretty helpful sometimes, I ALWAYS checked in with her before turning to a game guide

Other NPCs

NICE

Love all of the TP character designs (ASHEI’S ARMOUR??? AOWOAOAOOAO)

Saving Zelda and all of Hyrule was important yea but thinking back maybe it was more like, the Ordonians and the kids were what was pushing Link to keep on going

I like the Resistance members :) Very video gamey of them to have one NPC assigned to each dungeon but hey!!! Kinda cool getting to see a little glimpse of each of em

Idk, it’s just fun to imagine Link popping into Telma’s bar after each dungeon and taking a little rest :) (or to celebrate? maybe just chat, idk, give this man some downtime!!)

Honestly it was just kind of nice that Link wasn’t entirely alone. I mean, I know Midna was there the whole time, but I am always for giving Link a big group of friends (see my love for hyrule warriors, age of calamity, and LU LMAO)

Hero’s shade, very very cool, kinda sad he died with regrets but HEY. He got to pass on his knowledge eventually

AND the connection to OoT?? AND assumed to be related by blood too????? GOOD SHIT

Ilia, I REALLY really wanted to like her (er, it’s not like I dislike her, she’s just,,, kinda there for me).

It definitely seems like Nintendo was pushing to make her the romantic interest, but GHHHHH they really threw that out of the window for me by having her lose her memories

I saw a text post a while ago that said it would have been interesting if Ilia was Link’s sister instead and YES!! That would have been cool too :0

Wish we got to know Zelda a little more

I feel like we barely know anything about her

Idk man, like I said earlier, I never really had any sort of drive to save Zelda during my playthroughs

She obviously knows Midna, so maybe if they gave us just a little bit more of that relationship I’d be more interested in her?

TP WORLD BUILDINGGGG

Botw has good world building too, but each race felt kinda,,, isolated? I absolutely love the different architecture and vibe each town has (and all the the weapons too) but ghhh yea everyone felt so separated. As far as I can remember, we don’t see tooo much of the races interacting with each other? Now that I’m typing that out maybe that’s to be expected because of the calamity but KLSJDKJFD ANYWAYS THIS IS ABOUT TP

The world feels nice and alive, love how populated everything is

Castle town I like castle town a lot, it feels dense and busy and I really like how you can’t talk to every NPC you see

Very cool very fun that we got to see the Gorons hanging out in multiple spots

kinda wish we got to see the Zoras a little more (I guess they are a bit limited since they need water but GHHHH the tp zoras are so prebby,,)

BUT HEY, I do remember seeing a zora or two hanging out in the hot springs around death mountain after beating the lakebed temple (I think, might have been a different dungeon) 

but aaaa would have been nice to see them in at least a couple of other places. I think it would have really added to the “congrats Link!! You’re restoring peace to Hyrule” feeling you get from seeing the Gorons hanging out in Kakariko and Castle Town

ORDON

Love how chill it is and how it’s kind of separate from Hyrule proper

They really do seem to be doing their own thing apart from the rest of Hyrule

Just kinda adds onto the “he’s just a regular dude minding his own business” kind of vibes I get from TP Link

Also I like Ordona :)

THE LIGHT SPIRITS,,

Love their design

And love how they’re not exactly like a pure white?

Different spirit representing each aspect of the triforce my beloved

But yes hi I think Ordona is very cool

Who are you, how did you get here, which goddess do you represent? Do you even represent one of the three golden goddesses? Do the Ordonians know about you? Have any of them ever SEEN you??? Do they worship you? Does anybody even know about the existence of the light spirits?? FUCK so many questions but ghhh I like how they broke the status quo a bit by throwing in a fourth spirit :)

I feel like this one is kinda weird but I like that voice sample they used in the light spirit music. It’s spooky and pretty at the same time :)  

cutscenes mmmmm

Ok ok, the spooky lanayru cutscene is very good

BUT THE “Link, Chosen Hero! Lend us the last of your power!” CUTSCENE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM LOVE IT SO MUCH

IT just

Idk man

It just hit different

I like the music

And seeing the light spirits swimming around in the light juice water whatever it is

Summoning the light arrows?

AND HHHHH “Lend us the last of your power!” THIS IS IT. This is the final battle.

Seeing Zelda bow down, and then Link putting his hand out 👌👌👌

Link: ok bud, let’s do this together :)

Connection to OoT (did I already mention this? Maybe., Whatever)

Very cool nintendo :)

I love seeing connections between all the diff zelda games.

Because like, on one hand, they’re all separate from each other because of yknow, individual hero stuff. BUT ALSO, they’re all connected because of the reincarnation stuff

Grrrr walking through the sacred grove and going “The Hero of Time walked around here a long time ago” FUCK THATS SO COOL

Is the Hero’s Shade watching me? What does he think of me? DIsappointed? Proud? The Hero of Time went through HELL so this timeline didn’t have to deal with any of the shit Ganon was gonna pull with the triforce, better not fuck this UP Link!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Midlink is cute

Kinda hurts that she smashed the mirror but that was probably so Nintendo didn’t have to worry about people going “but what about the twili??????” for any of the other games LMAO

BUT ALSO LIKE SKJDKLJFJ There are some pretty massive plot holes in TP anyway so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whatever it’s fine we’ll just use this for angst because GOD do y’all like angst

So is Shadlink

Honestly don’t know where this ship came from but it’s cute so whatever

THE MUSIC??

Love Midna’s theme and how they referenced the dark world theme from ALttP (I remember trying to learn the dark world theme on the piano and doing the Leonardo DiCaprio point meme at the little jingle I recognized from Midna’s theme)

Hyrule field theme SLAPS.

Apparently references a couple of the other over-world themes from the previous zelda games (I got this from 8-bit Music theory’s video on the over-world zelda themes, he talks about TP at around 11:40 but def recommend watching the whole video if you’re into music analysis stuff)

So there’s this bit of the Hyrule Field theme, I don’t know the official name for it but I remember seeing somewhere it being called the “at an advantage theme” since yeah, you hear it during the boss music whenever you expose their weak points. FUCKINGGG LOVE THAT. Didn’t notice it during my first playthrough, but hearing it during my second was like a little easter egg for my ears every time :)

Midna’s lament is very pretty (and fun to play on the piano)

COURAGE THEME.

I didn’t care for it too much when I started playing the game but hearing it in ZREO’s arrangement of the Hyrule Field theme literally makes me turn into a puddle of emotions. Also hearing it around and of the Ordon kids (I think it plays after Link saves Colin) AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Orchestra piece #1 and #2 HOLY SHIT???????????????? 

Literally, the first time I listened to those I just,,,, plugged in my headphones, volume 100, layed on the floor/against my desk and silently vibed. I don’t know what the hell it is, but those two just fit so well with TP?? I still avoid listening to them nowadays cause if I DO I definitely will get overwhelmed with the “god I love this game so FUCKING MUCH” kind of feels.

Wolf link sucks at singing

the first time I heard him howling Zelda’s Lullaby I lost my shit because LKSJLDKSGLKJFSKG god that was.,, Bad. Anyways, hearing him howl some of the songs from OoT was cute :)

TP STAFF ROLL??? 

VERY GOOD. IT’s like 10 minutes long and GOD do I love every single second of it. It doesn’t have the same energy as the skyward sword staff roll or the orchestra pieces but GOD does it hit good??

Nice and calm after that big exciting adventure. Maybe it would have been more fun or emotional to have a higher energy piece but it was really nice getting to sit back and watch the camera fly around Hyrule. Seeing like, the Gorons and the Zoras having a good time, the kids returning to Ordon? GOOD SHIT.

and AAAAA that end, when you hear the main Zelda theme and see Link riding off out of Faron woods on Epona… good shit. It gets you thinking, where the hell is he going? What is he doing? Off ot do more adventuring? Going to help out the resistance or something? Going to help Zelda? Or maybe he’s trying to figure out a way to restore the mirror of twilight? Whoooo knows.

hhHHHHhhh it’s just that final reminder that YES!!! YOU JUST PLAYED A ZELDA GAME. JUST ANOTHER STORY APART OF THE WHOLE EPIC OF THE ZELDA SERIES AS A WHOLE

I also want to acknowledge the instrument/samples they used for all the twili stuff.

They’re all just so unique and contrast SO well with the rest of the TP OST. LIKE FUCK!! Anytime I hear the screech from the Twilit Kargarok? Sends a shiver down my spine. I associate those sounds SO strongly with the twili realm. (Like, the same way you associate the BSHEWW VVWWMMM sounds with light sabers)

I love it so god damn much

literally any time there’s a certain sound or motif associated with something I lose my shit

Sacred grove sacred grove sacred gro-

lovely lovely lovely so much fun playing that on the piano. AND again, I did the Leonardo DiCaprio pointing meme when I heard the theme from the lost woods come in GHHHHHHHH

shoutout to TP Faron Woods for helping me study and get through all of my schoolwork

BLEGUUHHH can you tell that I really love music?

and also yea I guess TP is kinda cool too :\

IF YOU READ ALL OF THAT THANKS I GUESS

[troquantary]

Cutting Hair as Punishment in the Twilight Saga

Okay, I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts around this into a sort-of-essay format for a while, because I find it disturbingly mean-spirited: Meyer has a pattern of using hair-cutting as a form of punishment for characters, especially female characters, who fail to embrace Bella and the Cullens with open arms. I’m talking particularly about Leah and Lauren, both of whom, while not outright antagonists like Victoria or James, are situated along with Rosalie as “against” Bella throughout the series. The Quileute pack, meanwhile, is situated largely “against” the Cullens, meaning Jacob and the rest of the pack get the Haircut of Shame, too.

(Also, I’ve been creeping through @panlight ‘s blog because I thought she had a recent post relating to this -- I was probably thinking of this submission and her addendum, which does discuss Meyer’s “punishment” of certain characters, but that post was about characters suffering for not waiting for True Love, or daring to do the Devil’s Tango before marriage. Still, it’s on-theme and very much worth reading, like all her stuff!)

So here’s the general outline: first I’m gonna talk about the shapeshifters and how their overall lack of choice frames cutting their hair as something forced on them and therefore punitive. Then I’m going to discuss Meyer’s FAQ response where she reveals that Lauren was tricked into cutting off most of her hair over the summer before New Moon, and how this adds an extra fun misogynistic element to the hair-cutting theme with respect to Lauren and Leah. I also use way too many words to do it, sorry.

Punishment | The Shapeshifters Are Given No Other Option

I don’t have the background or knowledge to discuss the significance of long hair to indigenous culture and identity in detail, and my understanding is that different tribes ascribe different meanings to it. What I’ve read it about it suggests that, generally, long hair represents strength of one’s individual spirit and of the community. It’s a source of pride, and is only cut off voluntarily in extraordinary circumstances, often as an expression of grief, or to mark a significant life change.

This sort of works in the context of the shapeshifters all cutting their hair -- phasing into a giant wolf, discovering the existence of the supernatural, and assuming the role of protectors is a major life event for these characters. But the negative associations make it a troubling choice on Meyer’s part, and that’s without even getting into the problem of her imposing her own worldbuilding onto the legends and culture of a real tribe. Because of the lack of choice involved in becoming a shapeshifter, the whole situation feels like a scenario in which the Quileute characters have their hair forcibly cut -- a degrading and traumatic act that (depending on their particular tribal belief) might symbolically sever them from their sense of cultural identity and connection with the rest of their tribe.

It all kind of begs the question: why does Meyer even have shapeshifting work this way? What narrative utility is there in having the length of their hair in human form determine the length of their fur as wolves, thereby compelling the shapeshifters to cut it so it isn’t a physical impediment? It’s another sign of the changes in Jacob, sure, but he’s already being uncharacteristically cold and distant, plus suddenly has the physique of a fit twenty-five-year-old; Bella already knows something’s very wrong. His short hair is just another jarring thing for Bella to notice and mourn, like the loss of Jacob’s “baby face” and general sunniness.

It does work as a symbolic thing, representing another sacrifice Jacob has to make and the change in how he now has to perceive himself -- but he’s already got a literal giant wolf form to represent that change in identity/self-perception. Forcing him to cut his hair too just feels like piling on. My argument here, which I hope will be supported when I discuss Lauren and Leah further in, is that it’s not just piling on, but actively punitive -- because much like Leah and Lauren are “against” Bella, the pack at large is “against” the Cullens pretty much through the end of the series.

The Quileute pack is definitely not a Cullen fanclub. The entire purpose of their existence is to destroy vampires, and the truce they have with the Cullens isn’t friendly. They still don’t particularly like or trust the Cullens even after allying with them in Eclipse, and in Breaking Dawn Sam is fully prepared to go to war against them to enforce the treaty. Bella expresses frustration with Jacob and the pack for not appreciating the Cullens more, yet is curiously less willing to scold Alice, Edward, or Rosalie when they call the Quileutes dogs and complain about their smell. (I think she might reprimand Edward for it at some point, but I don’t remember the exact passage.) Bella even starts throwing around “dog” and “mutt” as an insult herself -- I think we know whose side ol’ “Switzerland” is on, here, and whose side Meyer is on as well. The Quileutes aren’t exactly enemies, and in fact are crucial to the Cullens’ survival in both the newborn and Volutri conflicts, but they’re punished nonetheless because they aren’t wholeheartedly Team Cullen from the get-go.

So to explain why I’m so convinced that there’s a link between hair-cutting and punishment in particular, let’s talk about Lauren. There’s a definite gendered element to it this time, too -- by being tricked into cutting her hair, Lauren isn’t just diminished/shamed, but rendered (*thunderclap*) unfeminine.

Lauren Was Rude To Bella Like Twice, Let’s Humiliate Her

I think Meyer’s answer to the question “What happened to Lauren’s hair?” on her FAQ page speaks for itself:

Ha ha. I had fun imagining this one—I only wished that it had fit into the book somewhere. Lauren fell victim to the “model discovered in the mall” scam. An alleged modeling agent approached Lauren in a mall in Victoria, B.C., and told her she was a natural model. Lauren ate it up. The agent told her that if she did something edgy with her hair, and took some high quality head shots, her future was assured. Lauren followed the instructions—dropping fifteen grand on the pictures taken by the agent’s partner—and waited for her career to begin. She’s still waiting. Snort.

It’s pretty obvious that this was done spitefully. Here’s the list of Lauren’s crimes against humanity Bella at this point in the series: 1) she was jealous of the attention Bella was getting as the new girl; 2) she talked behind Bella’s back once, saying Bella might as well just sit with the Cullens now (and she isn’t wrong); 3) she eyed Bella “scornfully” the day of the La Push beach trip; and perhaps most damningly, 4) she’s blonde.

Post-haircut, she has the gall not to be thrilled that Bella’s deigning to speak to the lowly non-Cullens again, then sides with Jessica after Bella uses Jessica to make a point to her dad, is shitty company, and then risks getting them both raped and murdered in Port Angeles so she could get off on her hallucination of Edward’s voice.

I think it’s pretty common knowledge that long hair is tied to patriarchal notions of femininity and attractiveness. Women with short hair are still derided for being ugly, or assumed to be lesbians in a derogatory sense, or simply considered less feminine and therefore less desirable/worthy (because a woman’s worth depends on her desirability, after all). For many women and girls, losing their long hair -- whether because of illness, or gum getting stuck in it, or whatever -- is very upsetting and a hard blow to their self-esteem. Just look at Alice as an example of Traumatic Short Hair; her hair was shorn like that because she received electroshock “treatments” in an asylum. (Although in Alice’s case, I don’t think her having short hair is punishment, but a facet of the traumatic backstory all female characters in Twilight have to have for some reason. Plus, she started the series with short hair, which distinguishes her from the pack and Lauren, who were tricked or compelled into cutting their long hair during the series.)

But Lauren’s so bitchy, so she deserves it, right? Ha ha, she was mean to Bella and cared about her appearance too much, so now she’s ~ugly!

Leah Has It the Worst and It Makes Me Want To Burn Everything

The misogynistic aspect of hair-cutting as punishment is taken up to like, twelve with Leah. Not only does she suffer for being “against” the Cullens along with the rest of the pack (and Bella, too, so extra sinning), but she suffers uniquely for being the only female shapeshifter. A bunch of teenage boys regularly see her naked body against her will. Her previously devoted boyfriend imprints on her cousin/best friend, Sam dumps her and can’t even explain why, and the whole pack -- including her own brother -- resents her for being upset about it, even though she can’t help the lack of mental privacy. Because of that same lack of mental privacy, she has to hear every gripe the boys have about her, plus every enthralled thought Sam has about Emily while she’s still deeply wounded by their breakup.

She blames herself for her dad’s death, because she phased at the wrong time. We don’t get any indication that her fellow shapeshifters or the elders are trying to reassure her otherwise.

And of course, because she’s a shapeshifter, she has to cut her hair. In addition, because Leah’s a woman, this has the same misogynistic connotations as it did with Lauren. In Leah’s case, though, the de-feminization is compounded by her sudden infertility. It’s clear that Leah attaches her sense of womanhood to her fertility, rightly or wrongly -- she bitterly calls herself a “genetic dead end” in Breaking Dawn and thinks of herself as a freak. She feels like there must be something wrong with her, some un-womanly flaw, that made her one of the shapeshifters at all.

Then, just when Jacob starts to see her as a human being worthy of compassion, he imprints on Renesmee and doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything else anymore. No more bonding with Leah, no blooming friendship to help her heal and come to terms with the new realities of her life. (This is one of those dropped threads that aggravate me to no end -- what was the point of having Leah opening up to Jacob, or starting Jacob on the path of realizing he was being a dick to her this whole time and that she’s a person with  value, if he was just going to spend the rest of the book as Renesmee’s love-zombie and never think about it again? Disgusting.)

Leah was a lot more forgiving of Jacob than he deserved at that point in the story, for all the good it did her -- I think she’s mentioned maybe once in Book 3 of Breaking Dawn. At least she got her god-tier moment of yelling at a deranged, pregnant Bella Swan.

Speaking of Bella...

I’m just going to note, for no particular reason, that in Breaking Dawn we get to hear explicitly that Bella’s got hair that falls “almost to her waist” and that she looks like “a freaking supermodel” because she’s so “beautiful and pale.” It just strikes me as a telling contrast at this point.

[tezzbot]

Heard that you wanted to talk about some stuff so go on a rant about your favorite MLP ships. I'd love to hear your headcanons or just anything about why you ship these ships and stuff like that

okay so appledash obviously absolute banger of a ship they have So much in common yet still have many many differences that keeps it interesting, PLUS bonus that its a butch4butch ship which is p rare honestly, also helps that i can relate very easily with the both of them :P i feel like i have Many thoughts about them bc i love them and their chemistry sm but nothing coherent is coming to mind its basically just HDJVDBEVDHD 💖💞THEM💞💖 in there so. ya lol

another ship that i dont really talk abt is what i call the friendship school polycule bc its fun and rhymes lol, w starlight, trixie and sunburst, now i dont ship starlight and sunburst i think they're better as ver close friends so basically its trixie and her bitches HDNDV lmao im kidding but still i think her and starlight are Very cute theres a lot of chemistry there and i think trixie and sunburst together has a lot of interesting possibilities, his interest in her stage magic, maybe she gains some kind of interest in a bit of his nerd shit blossoming into something more idk!! i think trixie deserves it<3 queen<3 i might go off abt her in another post idk lol

uhhmm hm... okay how about some ship related headcanons

aj and rainbow have had crushes on each other for A Loooong Time before actually getting together, its why they spent so much time with one another alone which is why, when rainbow asked aj if she wanted to go somewhere for lunch aj's dumb ass had no idea it was supposed to be a date until she realised partway through that rainbow was acting nervous as hell and that it was in fact hearts and hooves day and was like Wait. This. Is this a date this is a date isnt it and rainbow embarrassed as fuck is like ahahhag yeah its supposed to be ya n aj is like Oh. 😳 BFNFBGV then they properly talk abt it and get together and its cute and i like the them love and light<3

aj n rara were each others gay awakening and first gfs when they were younger but broke it off when they were writing bc long distance wasnt gonna work :( then they had a little thing while rara was in ponyville that one time but ultimately decided itd be better to stay friends

torque wrench had a huge crush on aj while the mane 6 visited hope hollow, aj made torque feel special and that her work Meant something, that she wasnt just some dime a dozen mechanic or whatever so. maybe they kissed while fixing the billboard together maybe they didnt but it was just a passing thing between the two

rainbow and gilda Definitely exes, initially left each other on good terms but it went sour after gildas visit in season 1, they make up again in season 5 but still remain friends bc rainbow has her eyes on someone else<3 lol

pinkie and twi for sure had a thing at some point but once they realised that twilight was gonna be so very outliving the whole rest of the mane 6 twilight thought it for the best to break it off, tho a little kiss on the head or cheek here and there isnt gonna hurt anybody :P (cheese is well aware of the two and would be 100% supportive if they decided to get back together :] gee lil cheese how come ur dad lets u have Two moms!!!)

lil bit of a rarepair but celestia and queen novo is very cute 🥺 i dont have much to say about em but ya i like the them :]

i think twilight and luna is also a very good ship tbh :( twilight was probably the first pony to treat luna as a friend and not someone to be feared or bowed down to and took the time to teach her about modern life after being gone for 1000 years, i feel like after that their relationship grew and luna developed a sort of crush on twilight idk if i think she actually ever confessed or not but its very sweet 🥺🥺

also fluttercord is perfect<3 enemies to lovers slowburn done RIGHT thank u mlp writers for eveythig

okay this is very long im done sorry HDNDV

[exn0bisstudios]

hiya! if it isn't spoiler-y or you won't be making a separate post for it, could you tell us a bit about the work hunters and seers do? does being a member of the order as a hunter always guarantee that you'll have a seer for a partner, or do they have different kinds of work that don't require a partner, or maybe require a bigger group to work with?

I will be making a post about it. After that, you'll obviously get a more in-depth look during the game itself. Still, since I have some other things lined up first, I would be happy to give some cursory notes here in this ask!

Please be aware that this info might seem a bit jumbled since I'm just tossing out notes (also I’m running on two hours of sleep lmao). This also got really long, so I apologize for that! As I said, I'll eventually get a much more organized & concise post up for you guys!

About Seers of The Twilight Order

What is a Seer?

Seers are magically gifted individuals of strong mentality who have been soul-bound to a Nightmare, which allows them to use Void magic. Said magic is the only thing that can actually destroy a Nightmare - yes, they can be hurt by weapons. Still, they'll eventually reform from the damage unless a Seer comes along and wipes them out. Since the Void is essentially power in its most raw form, it is not meant to be used by mortals. So, the Order devised the binding to allow an adept enough mage to use a Nightmare as a proxy. It's a messy necessity since, without Seers, Yereth-Shai would have fallen to the Nightmares a long, long time ago.

Unfortunately, this proxy system is hugely flawed. Nightmares, by their very nature, are corrupted, as is the Void. The forcible melding of a mortal soul to this corrupted being will eventually erode the mortal, no matter how mentally resilient they are. The more they use the Void magic, the faster that corruption sets in. Not to mention that the binding ritual itself can be deadly outright.

In short, becoming a Seer is a death sentence. Most last for around 5 years before corruption kills them. Unfortunately, it's also common for Seers to go insane, either from corruption or just from having a primordial creature that hates them living in their head. The Order has a care facility set up for any non-violent Seers who have lost their minds, where they can live out what's left of their lives in peace and safety. Sadly most that go nuts are also violent, though, and are mercy-killed by The Order before they can cause civilian casualties.

If you're asking, "why would anyone want to be a Seer" the answer is, again, purely because it's necessary for the survival of mortal-kind. Many people who volunteer to become a Seer do so because they see it as a way to atone for past sins. Some do so to be a hero, however short-lived it might be. Some just see it as a civic duty. Regardless of why the Order won't turn away volunteers.

Who can become a Seer?

The only actual requirements are that the candidate must be willing, mentally resilient, and magically capable. Of course, it's always preferable for a candidate to be young and healthy. Such individuals typically prove more resilient to both the required training and the ritual itself. However, so long as they meet the core necessities and make it through Seer training, the Order won't turn anyone away.

A candidate will go through 5 to 8 years of relentless training to prepare for the binding ritual. The training is brutal and has been deadly but is necessary if the candidate hopes to survive the binding. In addition to physical and mental exercise, a Seer candidate is trained in advanced magic techniques. A particular focus on personal control is crucial, considering the Order has no desire to give someone prone to violence access to raw power.

What can a Seer do?

In addition to their ability to wield Void magic as a weapon, they can manipulate it in other ways that benefit the general public. Destroying Nightmares is always a Seers primary duty. Still, they are also often called in to clear an area of Void corruption. A little-understood phenomenon, Void corruption tends to occur in populated areas and acts as a beacon for Nightmares. A Seer can absorb and neutralize the corruption at their own expense. They can also 'see' Void energy, appearing as a kind of smokey aura, which helps them find problem areas or address concerns of corruption/possession.

Some Seer facts

The tell-tale sign of a Seer is the solid black sclera, resulting from their tie to a Nightmare. Black stripes/spots in the sclera are typical in corruption or possession cases, but only Seers have solid black.

Even though many Seers were previously criminals, they are almost always received with respect. Regardless of their past deeds, people recognize the altruistic sacrifice they've made by becoming a Seer and honor them for that. On the flip side, most Seers are understandably received with an equal amount of fear.

Seers cannot comprehend or cohesively communicate with their bound Nightmare while awake, getting at most snippets of violent imagery or projected emotions. They are also plagued by violent nightmares when they sleep due to their subconscious trying to process the foreign presence in their mind. The more a Seer's mental barriers deteriorate, the more the Nightmare can torture them inside their own head.

While they are given combat training, Seers are adamantly encouraged to stay out of active combat as much as possible. They are under strict orders to not use their Void magic unless against a Nightmare or Void-related emergency. They are too valuable to risk on the front line, and using their Void powers speeds up their corruption (and thus, demise) too much to just use them recklessly.

Regarding our dear MC...

Take everything you just read about Seers and throw it out the window.

MC is an entirely unique, never-before-seen case. To start, they never underwent a binding ritual. As far as the Order can tell, MC's Nightmare has been there at least in a cursory sense for their whole life because it has chosen to be there. MC's sclera went black when it finally bonded with them (age depends on MC's background but from 8-11 y/o). It was an entirely painless experience for MC.

MC is the only Seer who has been able to actively communicate with their Nightmare in any capacity. The fact their Nightmare introduced itself and keeps a running commentary on what MC is up to during their waking hours is seemingly inexplicable. MC doesn't suffer any nightmares due to The One's presence, either, and is instead able to interact with a dream manifestation of them.

The MC shows no signs of possession and seems to suffer no ill side effects from the One's presence or from using Void magic. They are also the most potent Void magic user the Order has ever had. This penalty-free relationship has allowed them to be the only Seer to hold the position for more than 8 years.

The general public is not aware of pretty much any of this, however. The official story is intentionally vague, saying that the MC is a prodigy and ends the conversation there. They're somewhere between a myth and a legend to the general public, and the majority would not recognize them in person. The MC is under strict orders not to reveal the truth of their situation unless they deem it absolutely necessary. This is mainly for their own safety. After all, just because the Order trusts them doesn't mean the rest of the world will.

In short, the MC is very special. You'll have to play the game to find out why.

About Hunters of The Twilight Order

What is a Hunter?

A Hunter is a specialized member of the Order's main military force, highly trained in martial and magical combat and tactics. Their primary function is to suppress Nightmare and Void-related violence to allow for a Seer to safely end the engagement, as well as to serve as a Seer's protector and right hand.

They put themselves in danger so that a Seer doesn't have to. However, they are not seen as expendable or as shock troops. Instead, they are provided years of highly specialized, rigorous training to ensure they survive the impossible odds they're frequently up against. As a result, hunters are, without exception, the most effective and impressive fighting force on Yereth-Shai.

Who can become a Hunter?

Anyone, so long as they are willing and survive the training. Hunter backgrounds are incredibly varied, from noble to urchin, but all of them give up their old lives for the sake of the Order. Most candidates are given over to the Order young and spend near their entire lives as members of the Twilight family.

It should be noted that orphans make up the largest demographic, as the Order provides food, lodging, education, and eventually a salary for life. For a child with nothing, it's often the most stable option they have.

What can a Hunter do?

In addition to killing virtually anything with appropriately nightmarish skill, Hunters are known for being brilliant - if unconventional - tacticians and skilled generals. Many a monarch has tried to buy themself a Hunter with a laughable pittance of a success rate.

Hunters are also gifted with a unique soul-bound weapon upon graduation. While these weapons are not strictly sentient, they have a sort of will of their own and are inextricably part of their owner. This bond gives a magical boost to the Hunter's natural prowess, in addition to acting as a powerful channel for their own magic. Soul-bound weapons cannot be used to harm their master. In fact, most cannot even be touched without their master's permission, causing grave injury to the individual attempting. These weapons cannot be broken and, if lost, will find their way back to their master. A Hunter also takes their weapon to their grave, as it will decay upon its master's death.

The forges of Twilight Order are the only place to create these weapons, and the technique has never been shared outside of Order smiths and enchanters.

Some Hunter facts

Hunters almost always outlive Seers simply because, as dangerous as their job is, their powers aren't slowly killing them. As such, there are a lot more Hunters in the Order than there are Seers.

The mass majority of Hunters will never be paired with a Seer. Bodyguard duty is reserved for the elite. The Order takes excellent care in choosing these pairs, and transfers to a different partner are rare. Once a Hunter is assigned to a Seer, they are expected to stay together until one of them dies.

Most Hunter-Seer pairings develop an unshakable bond, so much so that Hunters that lose their Seer struggle to function as well with a new partner. As such, a Hunter who has lost their Seer will return to regular troop duties, often as an officer. Their career as bodyguard is over.

That said, if a Seer needs to be neutralized, it is traditionally their paired Hunter's job to strike the killing blow. While being a Hunter is usually a lifetime career, those who have had to kill their Seer can retire from service. The Order is not unsympathetic to their trauma.

Regarding our dear Mira...

Mira is unique in their own way, though not to the same extent that the MC is.

In Mira's case, they genuinely are a prodigy. They've been with the Order since they were a child and took to the training like a fish to water. Their proficiency is precisely why they were paired with MC - who better to protect the Order's most precious Seer than their most skilled Hunter?

Mira is also special in that they have four soul-bound weapons. No touchy.

About The Twilight Order

The Twilight Order is a neutral faction that pays no homage to any nation but demands fealty from them all. It was formed for the sole purpose of defeating the Nightmare threat, and they have stayed true to that through the decades. Members of the Order are strictly forbidden from meddling with politics unless it furthers their mission. The faction itself takes no interest in the rise and fall of kingdoms outside of keeping their funding secure.

The Order is given a begrudging kind of respect on the global politics scale. Many people view the Order with suspicion, especially considering the number of secrets they keep and how they pointedly disregard whatever laws suit them. However, no one dares rise against them - not just because the Hunter army could decimate a country, but because they're the only ones who can tame the Void.

Though thankfully most governments are content to leave the Order alone, it is a delicate diplomatic balance, so long as they stay out of the political sphere.

Some relevant facts about the Order

Once you are initiated into the Order, you leave your old life behind. Each member takes on the surname 'Twilight' and is encouraged to completely sever ties to their old life. This rule is less strictly enforced with members who have been with the Order for a while. It's common for commanding officers to look the other way if their subordinates exchange letters with their original families. So long as the individual isn't compromised by these engagements, it's quietly allowed to happen.

The Order takes a similarly vague approach to romantic relationships involving its members. Physical relations & romance are not forbidden, nor is marriage or attempting to start a family. However, if such a relationship compromises the participants, it will be condemned, and those involved are punished. Duty above all, for the sake of all. No exceptions.

[toxicpsychox]

The Legend of Zelda and Amphibia

I am not much of an intense analyzer (not a public one, at least) but just... bear with me for a moment.

I’m sure everyone has heard of the classic Nintendo franchise, The Legend of Zelda, but did you know that Matt Braly based some of Amphibia off the game? According to his reddit AMA, His favorite game in the franchise (and the one he primarily used to base Amphibia after) just happens to be Breath of the Wild, arguably one of the most complex Zelda games to date. 

For this analysis, let’s focus on some of the bigger aspects of the show and how they relate to the Zelda franchise. 

There will obviously be Breath of the Wild and Amphibia spoilers below, so don’t come for me lmao

The Master Sword and It’s Power

In any Zelda game, the Master Sword is the best item a player can get. Not only is the sword The Weapon Of Choice™, but it also happens to have different special abilities depending on what game you play. In Zelda: Twilight Princess, for example, the sword cures Link of his curse and grants him the ability to teleport to places he has previously explored. In Breath of the Wild, the master sword grants Link the power to defeat Calamity Ganon, and as the game Wikipedia states, “seal the darkness away” (we’ll talk about this later). Funny enough, the Master Sword also has a delightful blue glow, similar to that of Anne’s sword in the show. 

So where does that leave us with Amphibia theories? Well, if Anne’s sword is anything like the Master Sword, it could perhaps be a portion of the key to unlocking the Calamity Box. We also know that in The Prophecy of Amphibia, there are three weapons mentioned, not just one. All three weapons combined could come together to create something like the Master Sword. 

Hyrulian Guardians and Newtopian Robots

In Breath of the Wild, there are giant-ass guardians that roam Hyrule. When the people of Hyrule learned that Calamity Ganon would one day return, they set off to create guardians to protect the people of Hyrule. They also created specific guardians called Divine Beasts to protect certain sectors of Hyrule. For many years, the guardians lay dormant. When Calamity Ganon rose from his dark slumber, he used what little power he had to awaken and corrupt both the guardians and the Divine Beasts. 

Remember the whole “seal the darkness” away bit that the Zelda prophecy states? Yeah, the Amphibia prophecy also talks about sealing away darkness. “Three stars burning bright, come from beyond to expel the night”. My guess is that we’re going to see a robot-awakening, just like we did in Zelda. Once those robots awake, there will be darkness throughout the land, and the three girls will have to expel it.

My guess is that something very similar to the events in Hyrule are about to happen in Amphibia. Since we know that robots of some kind exist in Amphibia, and that some of them are laying dormant (like in the huts Sprig and Anne stumble upon in Fort in the Road). What’s to say that they won’t awake when the Calamity Box finally starts functioning again? Or when Andrias uses the Calamity Box for his plan?

(Funny enough, all of the robot-like huts in Amphibia look like the same exact robotic structures in Breath of the Wild.)

Gems/Triforce Parallels 

Everyone knows that in the Temple of Time (arguably one of the coolest and most complex temples in the Legend of Zelda franchise) changes from game to game. Let’s focus on the Temple of Time in Ocarina of Time for a second. 

In this Temple of Time, we see that in order to obtain the Master Sword, Link first has to go through a room with three gems of power. These three gems power the Triforce and allow Link to enter the next part of the temple, and ultimately grab the Master Sword. 

Now let’s relate this to Amphibia, shall we? In Amphibia, there are three gems of power, just like in Zelda. We also know that the three gems of power in Amphibia are separate colors, with separate powers. In Zelda, this is also the case. 

If my theories are correct, and Amphibia does have purposeful Zelda references, then the three Amphibia gems are going to act very similar to that of the Zelda gems. I think we can expect to see the gems all come together to form some sort of ultimate weapon to defeat Andrias. Either that, or they create a power great enough to destroy Andrias, no sword necessary. 

Andrias and His Pawns

To wrap this sucker up, let’s talk about Andrias for a hot minute. We all know Andrias is using the girls as pawns to get what he wants, but...why couldn’t Andrias just go through the temples on his own? If he already knows the box’s potential, and already knows about the temples and how to get through them, why couldn’t he just go through himself? It would sure make the process of becoming All Powerful™ a lot easier. 

We could chalk it up to laziness, sure. But I’m thinking there’s a greater reason for Andrias’ chess game.

We all know that Anne, Sasha, and Marcy are The™ three people listed in the prophecy; we know that they are the “stars shining bright to ward off the night” or whatever the prophecy says. We also happen to know that all three of the girls have some sort of power. Granted, none of them have realized that they have power, but it’s there.

We saw Anne’s eyes glow, as well as Marcy’s. Assuming that Sasha also has powers (and let’s be real, she absolutely does if the other two have them), we can assume that those powers are going to be used for something. 

The real reason Andrias can’t go through the temples on his own and get the power? Anne, Sasha, and Marcy hold the other half of the power to getting in and out of the temples. Just like any Zelda game, you need certain abilities and items to get through the temples and rooms. Without them, the game is unplayable. The temples become impossible to get through, and you would perish. 

Since Anne, Sasha, and Marcy hold the other half of the gem’s special abilities, only they can get through the temples. Not Andrias. And my guess is that when the girls step foot into the temples, their powers will be amplified. And they’ll finally fucking realize THAT THEIR EYES GLOW. 

Anyways. Matt Braly is a Zelda nerd and I am 78% certain that some of the stuff I listed will play out exactly like a Zelda game. I could be wrong tho, who knows. 

(Also, thanks to @pyroclastic727​ for helping me organize my thoughts and giving me the confidence booster to post this sucker lol)

[d20owlbear]

Could you tell us more about Aziraphale Swan and his Very Peculiar Neighbor if that’s ok? Thank you

Yeah of course!

So! This one started out as a joke (every damn time I s2g) and has gotten more... well it’s gotten more as time has gone on.

It’s a Twilight AU/fusion thing based off a discord post from @kai-art! Where Aziraphale is entirely unrelated to Bella Swan but has the same last name, moves up in a similarish timeline to Forks, and used to live in Phoenix, AZ. None of this is explained, of course.

There, by chance, he happens to meet one Anthony Crowley, who is a nearby mortician and drives off all the bio waste to Seattle (the nearest disposal... please know I’ve done so much research for this, holy shit, I’m pretty damn sure at this point I’ve done more research for this fanfic than Meyer ever did for Twilight and THEY DON”T HAVE FANGS??? OH MY GOD why?! anyway if anyone wants to see my math on exactly how much blood Twilight vampires need to consume, lmk! cause it’s an unholy amount my fucking god Meyer did you even do any math at all? Christ). 

The secondary goal of this fic is to fit as many romance anime tropes in there as possible, particularly shoujo tropes. So far we’ve got the toast in the mouth and being saved by a handsome stranger/pulled into his arms, and we’ve got around 3-4 kabedons planned, tripping during a particularly erotic slow sword fight, and a confession during a festival (this one autumn leaves rather than sakura, but still! the vibe is there but make it PNW).

I’m currently writing ch 3 and wanted to get a good padding of chapters before I started to release anything, but here’s an excerpt!

Aziraphale was moving. Out to the Pacific Northwest of America. Washington state, Forks to be specific. It was small and wooded and there was a lovely little home off on an acre of unfenced woodland, butting up against the back of some place called Fern Acres. He'd gone and picked somewhere wholly isolated, or at least as isolated as he could bear, and put-putted all the way from Arizona in his old, beat up pick-up truck his father had left him. The body of it had been a pretty buttercup yellow at some point he remembered fondly, but had sun-bleached to white in patches and spots like he'd spilled paint all over it. There was a certain sort of charm though, Aziraphale said to himself in order to avoid going to a place like an autobody shop, to have a car with more character than oneself. 

Moving interstate was always interesting, wasn't it? It made one a bit of a mystery, coming new into a small, wooded town. Maybe someone would even gossip about him. The very thought of it perked Aziraphale up during his arduous drive all the way up through California (stopping briefly in the famed Wine Country for the night in a lovely little B&B that doubled as a winery, picking up a rundlet of wines. He'd had his heart set on a butt simply to say he'd purchased a literal buttload, though he couldn't justify the expense, nor spare the room amongst things that wouldn't break the bottles).

Aziraphale drove and listened to the music on his staticky little cassette player in the car, a mix tape his father had made so long ago when he'd found out all the kids were doing it to give to their dates. He'd already been married to Aziraphale's mother, but it had been cute, and ever since, his father had used the massive tape deck to build the same playlist every few years to present on their anniversary and wore them into the ground playing them over and over in this old rust-bucket car… Aziraphale sighed and pulled over for a bit when his eyes grew too watery to see the road well enough to drive. Thinking of his parents always seemed to do that, though he hoped the young couple that had purchased his childhood home only half a month ago had that child they were aiming for and it grew up even half as loved as Aziraphale had been.

But! He dashed his sleeve over his face and turned the tape over, even though it wasn't at the end just yet, and set it to play in the middle of the first song on the other side. The passionate refrain of Queen lilted in the car and Aziraphale smiled, though it felt like more of a grimace, and started up the truck again to resume his drive. Queen wasn't his favorite band, but they were certainly up there. Freddie simply had a way with his voice, and how queer so many of the songs were made Aziraphale's heart glad. That and it reminded him of his parents laughing in the kitchen and dancing with spatula or ladle in hand as Aziraphale watched from the kitchen table where he did his homework to the strains of ooh you make me live now honey!

This was slightly all over the place, but if anyone’s interested in any of my research holes for this, my various griefs or Opinions™ about Twilight lore in relation to other vampire lores or want to know more about Crowley (who is clearly a vampire) or Aziraphale (who’s far more interesting than he thinks he is) please let me know! This is one of my more interesting wips I think, if only cause of my wide and varies Opinions™ about all the stuff I’ve had to look at.

See more wip names here if you’re interested and ask me about them!!

[flowerslut]

Waiting Game

  Words: 2657 Rated: T+ for canon-compliant mentions of suicide Summary: The story fell out in pieces, leaving Jasper and Emmett to sort through them to form the narrative on their own. Bella wasn’t dead; a fact Alice neglected to let anyone else in on. Alice was flying somewhere; it was unlikely that it would be back there, to Denali. Edward wasn’t coming home; it was assumed that Alice was heading wherever he was. Bella wasn’t dead, and Edward didn’t know it.

(New Moon gap-filler.)

A/N: Originally written for a Twilight charity fan-zine.

I humbly ask that if you read this story, please take a minute out of your day to go to MTHG.org and read about the Quileute tribe's Move to Higher Ground initiative. As a fandom it's important to acknowledge the true harm that has been inflicted upon this indigenous community and to educate ourselves accordingly. If you're able to, please consider donating to their cause. If you’re unable to make a monetary contribution, please share their cause in any way that you can; whether it's on social media, texting it to your friends, or bringing it up to family members. It's important to bring awareness to their situation now, before tragedy strikes and a natural disaster causes harm to this small, vulnerable community.

Today's story is part of a two-part fundraising initiative I've taken to Tumblr. Tomorrow I'll be posting an original song that will be available for download upon proof of donation to the Quileute tribe (any amount counts; even $1 is a great help.) 

I’d also like to take this moment to request and encourage any Twilight content creators out there to take a moment this week/month/year to post one work dedicated to raising awareness and funds for the Quileute tribe. It was a beautiful thing to see everyone banding together last summer with the release of Midnight Sun, donating en masse, raising awareness, and encouraging education. I’d like to keep that momentum going through 2021, as well. 💗

(Story under cut)

“I just feel bad, you know?” A foot against the base of a tree only had to press slightly before the thick wood groaned and cracked, threatening to fall to the forest floor below. The snow was deep enough that Jasper imagined it would cause a mighty flurry to erupt around them, but he wasn’t about to stop Emmett from doing whatever he needed to distract himself. Grief rolled of him like a steady stream, relentless in it’s flow. “Like if we’d stayed, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“But we didn’t stay, and it did happen,” Jasper spoke gently, pushing back the guilt he’d only recently allowed himself to move on from. Alice had reasoned that it was likely that any type of incident that threatened Bella’s life, whether vampire-related or not, may have driven Edward away from her eventually. But Jasper knew that Alice had held onto hope even all these months later.

It really was a shame that Bella had died.

“It’s ridiculous,” Emmett finally pushed harder against the tree, and when it cracked and snapped beneath the force, catapulting snow into the air around them as the hundred-foot giant fell, neither man flinched. “It didn’t have to be like this. It wasn’t just his choice. She could’ve been one of us by now. It’s what she wanted.”

Emmett’s grief was a passing storm, Jasper knew.  Emmett always handled change and tragedy and disappointment far better than any member of their odd little family. No matter how much the taller man cared for the now-dead human girl, Jasper knew that it wouldn’t take long for Emmett to move on.

As for their brother…

Jasper was dreading having to fill Carlisle and Esme in on the news. It didn’t feel right to deliver the news over the phone, so after a few vague voicemails and an even more ambiguous phone call, the pair were ending their hunting trip early and would be back at Tanya’s before midnight.

Not for the first time over the past couple of days, he wished Alice were still there. Empath that he was he had never been good at comfort, outside of using his ability to force it into the atmosphere. But still, Alice had tasked him with it regardless, informing him that Esme would take it hardest and it would be best to have them both back at the house before revealing the news.

And Edward, Alice said, absolutely could not know.

Rosalie had shocked Jasper by raging at that particular detail, her frustration trumping her initial shock and guilt so thoroughly Jasper had done a double-take, staring at the blonde curiously.

“He deserves to know,” Rosalie asserted, folding her arms over her chest as she eyed her shell-shocked husband, sitting at a nearby couch, his head in his hands. “It’s not fair for us to keep something like this from him.”

“I’m just relaying what Alice said,” Jasper deflected her irritation with half of a shrug, Tanya’s phone feeling particularly heavy in his hands. “It’s not like it would be easy information to get to him.”

Now, almost two days later, the knowledge that Bella Swan was dead sat in him like lead; heavy and unrelenting. Tanya and her sisters had expressed their sympathies, although Jasper could sense how bizarre they felt, watching Emmett frown and mope over some human girl. Carmen and Eleazar had volunteered to help them track down Edward, but Jasper quickly dismissed the offer, telling them what Alice had spoken.

Edward could not know. Not yet, at least.

“When Alice comes back, we’ll regroup,” Jasper spoke, watching as Emmett eyed an even-larger tree, likely considering knocking another one to the ground. “But when Carlisle and Esme come back, I’m going to need some back up.”

Emmett smiled thinly, nodding as he pulled his eyes off the tree and back toward Jasper. “Esme is going to be so wrecked.”

Jasper did not nod, but he did grimace at the idea of the matriarch of their family so distraught. It hadn’t mattered that the woman had only known Bella for a small amount of time. Esme had cherished and loved Bella the same as she did any of them.

It was as he was gathering the breath to speak, when Jasper stopped, his head turning back toward the direction of Tanya’s home in the distance.

Rosalie’s voice reached them only a millisecond before he’d felt it; sharp, piercing terror and guilt shooting through the somber atmosphere. Jasper was moving just as they heard the first shout.

“Emmett!” Rosalie screamed, “Emmett help!”

In all the races Jasper had entertained over the years, Emmett had never once beaten him, no matter how many times the taller man played dirty. But in all the years Jasper had been with the Cullens, through all her dramatic fits and tantrums, he had never once heard Rosalie sound so terrified.

So when Emmett beat him back to the property, snow flying around the men as they raced back toward the house, Jasper didn’t even find himself shocked. If someone could bend space and time through sheer strength alone, Jasper was sure Emmett would find a way. Anything to get to his wife.

They met a hysterical Rosalie half a mile from the house, and at first, little made sense.

“Rosie, Rosie,” Emmett held her tightly as words tumbled out of her too quickly and too disjointedly to make any sense.  “Slow down, what’s going on?”

“I told him,” she screeched eventually, her words catching as the guilt and fear wrestled within her, “I messed up and I told him because he deserved to know and I—” when her words caught on a fully-formed sob, Jasper forced himself to look away. And as his eyes found Tanya and her sisters, appearing at the edge of the forest, worry coloring their faces, Rosalie finally let the rest of her words tumble out. “I miss my brother.”

And in that moment, Jasper knew what had happened.

Rosalie had told Edward Bella was dead.

Alice had strictly emphasized how that couldn’t happen. But now the boy knew. And Jasper didn’t have to be a mind-reader to guess how the impulsive teen was going to react.

“Oh, no,” Emmett whispered, clinging to his distraught wife. Jasper made eye contact with him and immediately knew that their minds were on the same page.

Now, Edward wouldn’t be coming back.

————————————

The story fell out in pieces, leaving Jasper and Emmett to sort through them to form the narrative on their own.

Bella wasn’t dead; a fact Alice neglected to let anyone else in on.

Alice was flying somewhere; it was unlikely that it would be back there, to Denali.

Edward wasn’t coming home; it was assumed that Alice was heading wherever he was.

Bella wasn’t dead, and Edward didn’t know it.

Thankfully it didn’t take long for Rosalie to calm. But while Emmett comforted her and soothed her guilt—guilt that Jasper could feel eating away at her stubborn facade—Jasper quickly and quietly explained to Tanya the situation. 

“What can we do?” The strawberry blonde asked, sharing a horrified look with her sisters. 

“I don’t know. I need to talk to Alice.”

And by the time they all made it back into the house, Esme and Carlisle had made it back from their trip.

One look at Rosalie, completely beside herself and shaking like a leaf, had forced the pair into action.

“What’s going on?” Carlisle demanded as Esme flew to Rosalie’s side, enveloping the girl in a tight embrace, her eyes as wide as saucers. “What happened?”

There had been plenty of things that Jasper never wanted Carlisle Cullen to find out. When he and Alice had first joined back in the fifties, that list had felt a mile long. Each fact about his past felt like a confession. Each story a token to pay for judgement never received.

Jasper watched Carlisle take so much in stride through the years that eventually, even after slip-ups, Jasper found himself comfortable enough to talk about it with the older man. To look him in the eye when the conversations transpired. He respected Carlisle, even cared for the man.

But how on Earth was he supposed to tell him that the boy he thought of as a beloved son might never be returning?

The hour that followed had been excruciating. 

Emmett and Rosalie had disappeared soon after Carlisle and Esme’s arrival. It was only after Jasper asked when Irina hesitantly told him that they’d borrowed a car to drive to the closest airport in Fairbanks. From there, their plan was to call Alice and demand to know her location so they could help.

Not one to judge a plan made with good intentions Jasper had simply nodded and tried to tune out Esme’s grief.

He’d been right to suspect that the woman would take the news the hardest. If anyone Jasper had ever met deserved happiness, Esme did.

She’d already lost a son in a previous life. It felt cruel for history to repeat itself this way.

When the phone finally rang, Jasper answered it immediately.

“Hello?”

“I don’t have much time,” Alice spoke, her strained voice immediately soothing some of his anxieties just by the sound alone. “I have to make it quick so the flight attendant doesn’t interfere.”

“Where are you going?” He spoke, feeling the nerves in the house immediately begin to rise. He knew Carlisle and Esme were only in the next room, listening in as Eleazar and Carmen lingered close by.

“I’m going to stop Edward. There’s no getting a hold of him, so don’t even try. Our only chance at stopping him is by getting to him as soon as we can.”

“We?” That surprised him. It didn’t sound like an invitation. But quickly his surprise faded. Of course Bella would want part of whatever intervention Alice was staging. “And where, Alice?”

“Italy.”

“No,” he shouted the word before he could stop himself, and when he heard the sound of approaching footsteps he lowered his voice, curling himself around the phone as he walked in the opposite direction, “Alice, no.”

“If I don’t do this, Edward is as good as dead, Jasper.” Alice didn’t even sound surprised at his sudden outburst, of course. “Bella is alive, and once he sees that, I think we have a shot.”

“And if he doesn’t see that? What is he planning on doing? Join the Volturi?” It made little sense, but when it came to Edward’s fits, not much did. Of course, he was sure the alternative was more likely…

“He’s going to ask them to kill him.” She spoke, confirming his fears. “He knows they’re the only people who would willingly do it. And if they don’t want to do it willingly, he’ll force their hand.”

Jasper swore then, turning to see Carlisle standing in the doorway to the kitchen, a frown etched deep into his kind face. He knew the man could hear every word Alice was saying, even despite her lowered voice and hushed tone.

The two locked eyes for a moment before Jasper forced himself to look away and continue speaking.

“How?”

“I can’t be sure, I keep seeing him do different things, he keeps changing his mind.”

“What’s he picking between?”

“A killing spree through the city, attacking the guard, lifting a car over his head in the main square,” Jasper hissed at that, hating the fact that Edward was truly considering all of these things for Alice to get even a vague vision of them. Alice continued without a beat. “Mostly things that would expose them—he knows that’s he fastest way to force a reaction.”

“Alice, I don’t think you can stop him on your own.” Not that he doubted Alice’s abilities for a second, but if Edward was so ravaged by grief and hopelessness that he’d resort to murdering innocents, he couldn’t help but fear what his brother might do if Alice tried to stop him on her own. “I can be there, just give me some time to get to the airport.”

“No, you can’t.”

“You’re going to have company anyways once Emmett figures out where you are.”

“Tell Emmett no.”

“He and Rosalie are likely at Fairbanks International now.” He was surprised she wasn’t aware of that. He was sure they would have been calling Alice non-stop by now. Truly all of her attention was focused on Edward.

“Well, go after Emmett and Rosalie and bring them back.”

“Alice, I think we could be of some help there. Seriously.”

“Think about it, Jasper. If he sees any of us, what do you think he will do?”

Jasper sighed at that. But when he realized Alice was waiting on a verbal reply he closed his eyes, running a hand through his hair. “He’ll act faster. He’ll know we’re just trying to stop him. That we’ll tell him anything to get him to listen.” Even if it was the truth, that Bella was alive, Edward would absolutely never believe them, especially with Alice knowing his true intentions.

“Exactly. I think Bella is the only chance—if there is a chance…”

“Be honest, Alice. What is the chance? It sounds like he’s got a head start on you two.”

“I’ll do everything that can be done, but prepare Carlisle; the odds aren’t good.”

“And what happens then? If you fail. You’ll be in Volterra with nothing but a human at your side. Aro will,” he swallowed, trying hard to ignore Carlisle’s concerned gaze on his back, “he won’t want to let you go if he sees into Edward’s mind.”

Of course, Alice had the goddamn audacity to sound amused at the idea. “I’ve thought of that.”

He forced a few calm breaths, then. “Alice, you need to promise me you won’t put yourself in danger. I refuse to let this situation get worse than it already is. And it’s already bad enough. Promise me you’ll get out.”

“Yes, I promise.” But her words were too practiced. Too ready. No matter how much he trusted his wife, Jasper didn’t believe her for a second.

“I can be there soon, please. Alice, let me help. I’ll have Rosalie and Emmett come back to wait here with Carlisle and Esme. Do not do this alone.”

“Don’t follow me. I promise, Jasper. One way or another, I’ll get out.”

Jasper sighed. “If anything happens, all bets are off.” There was a moment of silence then, and when Alice didn’t contradict his words, he found himself feeling only the slightest bit better. If things went south, he’d be there, and nothing on god’s green earth would stop him. Alice had to know that.

Whether she’d seen it was something he didn’t want to know. (Because that would mean her failure was more likely than she was leading on.)

“Be safe, Alice,” he whispered, clinging to the phone with both hands now, knowing that soon she’d be gone, “I love you.”

“And I love you.”

He stood entirely still for several seconds before the beeping of the dead line brought him back to reality. Alice was on the way to a viper pit and here he was, standing in a too-big kitchen with marble countertops clutching a cordless phone like it was his lifeline. Told to sit and stay and wait, as if he’d ever been good at any of those three things in his goddamn life.

When Carlisle placed a hand on his shoulder, he nearly jumped, so taken off guard by the motion that the older man immediately apologized.

But when Jasper finally turned his eyes onto the man who had accepted he and Alice into his family over fifty years ago, it was easy to push the hesitance aside when Carlisle asked firmly, “What do we do now?”

And like always, Jasper had an answer for him. But not one he wanted to provide.

“We wait.”

[katyobsesses]

I've done this before HERE but this time I was actually tagged (thanks @useless-fanfictions) so I'm going to update it becuase some of the answers are out of date

how many works do you have on AO3?

22 fics and 3 fanfic book covers so 25

what’s your total AO3 word count?

151,809 words

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Published:

Glee

Marvel (MCU & 616)

Yuri! On Ice

Just floating around my G-Drive or wrote back in the day but never published:

Harry Potter

Merlin

Twilight

Supernatural

Sherlock

Doctor Who

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ain't No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down) Book Cover with 225 kudos (Marvel published 2016) –A book cover for a popular Stucky fic

A Punch In The Face with 102 kudos (Marvel published 2014) –A Young Avengers drabble of sorts, Teddy/Billy meet cute

Express Your Love with 82 kudos (Marvel published 2014) –I cannot remember what this is, I think it’s Stony? Something about Tony never saying ‘I Love You’ to Steve but instead showing his love through actions?

In A Previous Life with 78 kudos (Marvel published 2014) –A drabble of sorts. Billy and Tommy talk to Wanda about their life with her before they were reincarnated.

Putting a Punching Bag in the Workshop was Tony’s Best Idea Ever with 64 kudos (Marvel published 2014) –Basically what it says on the tin. Stony. Tony is distracted by Steve’s arse as he boxes.

yeah... these I'm not that proud of, I hope my other works surpass these soon because these are old and not my best.

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to, sometimes I get overwhelmed and then don't respond for too long so never repsond but... I really really appreciate them all the same! no matter how big or small the comment is (as long as it's not hate)

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

In Paris With You - a Klaine fic I first wrote in 2011, then updated in 2014 (which is on my FF.net) and then updated again when I got back into Glee in 2019 (which is the version on AO3) It's based off of a poem of the same name by James Fenton that I was studying for GCSEs and it just... got stuck in my head. I still really love it and kinda want to continue it so it no longer has such an angsty ending.

Also As long as I'm here as I am, so are you is kinda angsty in a 'Kurt remembering Finn' sort of way. I guess you could call it a Song Fic...

do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I've never posted a crossover, but I did, once, years ago, plan a Merlin/Harry Potter crossover.

have you ever received hate on a fic?

On FF.net, yes. On AO3, no.

do you write smut? if so what kind?

Nope. I mean, if it fit into my story or something I maybe would, but I'm not really planning to write smut just to write smut. My ace arse accidentally makes characters ace by proxy anyway, so smut isn't ever really on my writing radar.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so.

have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of.

have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have one in the planning stages with someone, but they're busy and I'm busy so it's on hiatus for the moment. But we're totally going to get back to it at some point when we're not both busy, it's an interesting premise!

what’s your all time favourite ship?

I don't have one! I like writing Hevans (or simply non-Klaine) because theres an abundance of Klaine (and I relate to Sam), but I definately don't have a favourite ship in general, I'm too much of a Multishipper for that. Though I have recently only written Hevans fics... and Hevans scenes... and Hevans Hevans Hevans so...

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I maybe might never finish any of my WIPs at this rate, my writer's block is a bitch. But I never upload something unless I know where it's going enough that I know I'm going to at least try my best to finish it even if it does have long hiatuses in between chapters.

what are your writing strengths?

I don't know, people please tell me I'd honestly love to know.

But if I had to choose then maybe having the emotions of a character shine through my words?

what are your writing weaknesses?

Writing things I haven't experienced, and maybe describing settings or objects. I also have a hard time transitioning scenes, sometimes they go on and on and on, other times they cut off abruptly it's hard to find a balance. Also dialogue, sometimes, I'm too socially awkward to know how to talk to people IRL and that sometimes makes it hard to know how people talk

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

It depends on if you want the reader to know what the character is saying.

If it's from a POV of a character that doesn't know what the person they're talking to is saying I'll try my best to write it in that language using Google Translate (or write something like Kurt was talking rapidly in French if i don't want to translate it)

But if the characters can understand each other and I want the reader to understand then I'll just use italics and something like Kurt said in French.

If it's words like "Merci!" or "Caliente!" or something that most English speakers know (or something they can figure out from context) then I'll just write it in it's original language.

Going back to In Paris With You. Kurt is French in that, and it's from Blaine's POV so when Kurt speaks French it's in French with Blaine translating what he can to the audience in the narration. He's not meant to be able to understand Kurt perfectly, so the audience doesn't either.

But if I was writing Kurt and Sebastian talking to each other in French from Kurt's POV I'd write it in English so that audience can also understand that Kurt understands.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. It was how I found fanfiction and I definately distictly remember writing a Time Travel Sirius/Hermione fic when I was like 12 that never saw the light of day and is sadly lost to the death of multiple laptops and the loss of multiple USBs

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

One More New Direction or possibly Rainbow (re)Connection for Glee

(that makes you) The Scarlet Witch for Marvel.

I'm just gonna leave this as an open tag so if you want to answer these questions feel free <3

[bronyinabottle]

In a recent post on I Dream of Twilight Sparkle I said that I noticed asks that were not in my inbox the last time I decided to read through my entire ask box. So I did the same for my mod blog. And while there were some also that I didn't see before. Most are questions I feel either I feel like I may have already sufficiently answered enough with my thoughts on an episode and/or it'd be weird at this point to answer something that's obviously years after the fact.

But there is two I found that I feel like I may want to respond to. The person who sent it was someone who used to discuss the show with me almost all the time, though obviously they must no longer be on Tumblr as all their blogs are deactivated. But I still want to answer since it is sort of relevant to recent stuff. Particularly in their 2nd ask.

By the way, I'm always open to questions on the show or even non-pony topics here on my modblog. I still do love talking about G4 ponies and I wouldn't mind some questions if any of you would like to know my opinion on anything. Now that the show has been over for nearly 2 years , I can have a perspective on many topics about Friendship is Magic that I wouldn't mind sharing. Maybe some things have changed here and there, though I think I still generally have a positive attitude towards most things for certain. I stuck with the show until the very end, and was satisfied with how it ended. And I still have interest in doing more in G4's world even as G5 approaches. (Though I'm sure perhaps once that movie has aired that may be the focus of any questions sent here)

((My answer and more after the break))

For the most part, I think I still generally agree with what I said in my initial thoughts about the Season 6 finale. It's a solid episode with some great interactions between Starlight, Trixie, Discord, and Thorax. Though the way the ending is executed is a bit of a headscratcher. Maybe somewhat less so since thinking about it now, like even if Chrysalis did keep some things loyal. What would stop them from eventually seeing what Thorax's changelings did shortly after.

But I suppose I wanted to answer this mostly about Starlight. Since while the Season 6 finale made HomerJ get over some remaining feelings about Starlight. I'll admit it took literally until writing Secrets of the Dragon's Tear (A year after the show was over) to realize the sort of potential that Starlight had. The baggage from the Season 5 finale always felt like a cloud above her for the entire rest of the show's run. And I consider Season 6's largest mistake is not trying harder to endear us to Starlight. That's what that season's entire job was, to try to make us feel a little better of how rather rushed Starlight's redemption was by giving us a more expanded look into Starlight's character. And unfortunately, I feel like it failed at that in my opinion. Thus I basically disagree (Though respect the opinion of) with those who would say the Season 6 finale was when Starlight finally won them over.

Don't get me wrong, I like how Starlight is portrayed in the episode. But it would of been stronger if say the season had explained more about Starlight's past. How did Starlight get her cutie mark, and given her opinion on Cutie Marks how did she feel at the time?

Instead, we mostly just got Starlight reuniting with Sunburst that didn't exactly give any more details to her rather vague reasons for turning to darkness from him moving away other then finding out Sunburst's personality and how his side of the story went. And from there we had Starlight befriend Trixie... in an episode I still don't really like to this day.

Ironically, the character in the Hearth's Warming episode that casts Starlight as the story's version of Scrooge (Snowfall Frost) is given more reason to sympathize with then Starlight herself.

Starlight then just about disappears up until the episode that introduces Thorax. Where she doesn't do much other then be among the crowd that Spike has to convince that Thorax is not evil.

The next time we see her is Every Little Thing She Does. Which is something of a controversial ep from what I hear, though ironically despite my skepticism of Starlight at the time. I actually sort of liked that episode since it was basically Starlight's own Lesson Zero. Though I get why Starlight deciding to hypnotize all the Mane 6 besides Twilight against their will would not be approved of. Though it does feel like at the very least Twilight and the rest give her enough of a piece of their mind at the end.

And that's how things stood before the Season 6 finale happened. Even though I do think Starlight has good moments in said finale, nothing earlier in the season really dispelled many of my feelings about the Season 5 finale's ending. So despite a good showing, I could hardly care for it. I wasn't convinced yet we were given a satisfactory answer about the many questions that Starlight's sudden redemption prompted.

Another part of my thoughts I feel still applies is when I mentioned that Starlight's a "Diet Sunset Shimmer" (Which considering what I did to link the two for SOTDT, is a bit funny in hindsight). It took just one movie (Rainbow Rocks) for the fanbase to turn a 180 on Sunset. While an entire season with Starlight as one of the good guys goes by and she remained just as divisive as before if not more so by the end of Season 6.

Come Season 7, and Starlight appears quite a bit more often though under the assumption that the Season 6 finale was enough to warm you up to her. There were many complaints during the first half of Season 7 that she was appearing more then she should (Even in an Equestria Girls special where she got to meet the character she was so often compared to). Though another thing about Starlight in Season 7 in hindsight is besides from her meeting a few more friends like Maud. Starlight isn't actually given much to actually work towards. They dropped the whole student aspect so it's not like she was doing friendship lessons under Twilight anymore (Though I suppose on the bright side for the detractors, it lessened worries about her becoming an Alicorn). Season 8 and 9 does somewhat fix that by having Starlight employed at the school, first as a counselor and ultimately ending with her as the school's Principal as Twilight herself got promoted to sole ruler. Which I'm still unsure about if fans of her character feel that was a proper ending for her. Though probably the best that could of been done in context of not much having been done with her over time.

Still, at least for me personally it felt there was alot missing about Starlight and as time went on it became obvious I wasn't going to get the satisfactory answers about her that I wanted. So as a result, I only had lukewarm reactions when a new Starlight episode was coming up. It also didn't help that there were two episodes that raised my hopes of at least one interesting aspect that would of been cool to see. The first being the episode "All Bottled Up" which I had hoped would mean it would be an episode that's somewhat genie related. And then there was Road to Friendship where Starlight and Trixie try to travel to Saddle Arabia (which is an important location in I Dream of Twilight Sparkle)... and yet never actually get there. So even on the few times that I was hoping to be excited about a Starlight episode, it dropped the ball. Partly my fault for getting so hyped about something that wasn't promised, but I would of loved to at least SEEN canon Saddle Arabia.

I'd never say that I hated Starlight back during the show's run. But she was a frustrating character for certain back then. I couldn't hate Starlight as much as some others did, but at the same time I couldn't like her as much as others. She was in likability limbo. For every fun and or good moment that included her, it's brought right back by either lingering problems that arised from the Season 5 finale or otherwise dropping the ball in some way.

In some ways, she's still a frustrating character. Though that's just how it'll always be with the canon Starlight. It's up entirely now to fanon to give their approach on Starlight that was never done in Canon. With SOTDT, I obviously did a bit of a "Fine, I'll do it myself" when it comes to making Starlight a more satisfactory character for me. Though I'm sure there are many interpretations that are vastly different from how I approached it that can satisfy others and probably be more popular and better written then mine. (My interpretation might be understandably controversial just for Starlight being put back on a path where she'll likely become an Alicorn eventually. Something Starlight detractors feared the most. Though I think I at least try to explain as best I could that makes sense with the story, her cutie mark moment being similar to Twilight's, and the identity of her mother. And I myself sort of feared Starlight becoming an Alicorn might happen, so for me to actually write it so that it might be inevitable. That's just how much of a 180 I've taken on Starlight because of writing SOTDT)

I think I mentioned this before, but I can pretty much say that in a way that I can actually say I like Starlight now. But sort of in a "FiM's biggest missed opportunity" sort of way that it becomes sort of sad to look at how canon Starlight was done. Rather then me simply shrugging her off back when I didn't care so much about her. I also understand it's a bit cheating to say I like Starlight now after doing my own sort of fanfic that had her in a major role since that might be me tooting my own horn a bit.

Though I will say as much as necessary that I am very aware alot of what happens in SOTDT would have been impossible to do in canon and I don't plan on pushing what I did to expand on Starlight's backstory as gospel. It only applies to what I'm doing on the blog, I will not be making a case that my interpretation is the only correct one. I'd actually welcome seeing some different interpretations on things such as who Starlight's mother is, what they feel her past was like outside of the Sunburst leaving incident, and/or especially how Starlight originally got her cutie mark. (I've even said my personal guess is different then how I did it in SOTDT, as my guess is she got it the first time she discovered the cutie mark removal spell). Cause if nothing else, I've realized Starlight is a very interesting character that I think would be fun to explore all the possibilities with. It certainly could be something for those still on the G4 train to talk with one another about.

[walker-journal]

Seeking Sanctuary (Bex + Adam)

Participants: Bexley Ochsenstein (Spellcaster by Envy), Adam Walker (Hunter by Tapir)

Context: Two very unlike people encounter each other at the temple, and voice mutual doubts in a discussion about the nature of faith and identity. 

Content Warnings: Religious Idealization, Discussions of Sexism and Transphobia (civil discussion), Mentions of post-traumatic stress and military conflict

Faith for Adam was a complicated subject. You’d think that knowing for certain that demons, life after death, magic, and souls existing would make faith easy. Adam technically knew the answers to alot of questions your average believer struggled with. There was no dread mystique to supernatural evil when your parents had taught you which tentaclely organs the laser beams came from. But that was exactly the problem.

Adam had grown up with Hell and all your worst nightmares simply being objective fact, an everyday reality that needed to be fought with tactics, technology, and sacrifice.

But although Adam was well acquainted with the forces of darkness, the supposed other side of the equation was very noticeably absent. Where was the Light in all of this? 

Being a practical dude, Adam would’ve normally just dismissed tangential stuff that didn’t help you in the trenches, as Dad had...except...Adam had also warded off plenty of spooks with sacred symbols and watched with his own eyes as holy water burned undead killing machines to sterile dust.

What was the creator smoking? Fuck if Adam knew.

Adam turned his gaze from absently contemplating The Ark whose displayed scriptural scrolls dominated the front of the synagogue. There weren’t alot of people here today, but Adam found a familiar face in the pews nonetheless.

“How goes it Odelia?”

Prayer was something Bexley had never really gotten the hang of. She knew all the prayers to recite during Yom Kippur and Passover. She had memorized the passages for her bat mitzvah, and she had memorized enough to get through Temple. But when it came to personal prayer, when it came to sitting in Temple alone and staring up at the alter and around the pews, Bexley had no idea what to do. She hadn’t figured it out in her twenty years of life, the disconnect from her faith a struggle. It was something her parents had noticed, but never pointed out, because Bexley tried-- oh did she try-- to connect with the world the way she knew they wanted her to. And it wasn’t that she didn’t want to or couldn’t, but, rather, that she felt so outside of it.

She was not born in the right body. Though the Torah made no mentions of people like her, the bittersweetness of it still tunneled her vision of it. How was she supposed to connect with something that wanted to pretend she didn’t exist?

But she wasn’t here today about that part of her. She was here today about the part of her that kept exploding things. Breaking them. Nell’s pot still sat heavy on her mind. It was a ridiculous thing to be kneeling in a pew about, but here she was. She wanted whatever it was to stop. She wanted to have some sort of control over it. She was practically begging for the help when a voice cut through her mind.

“Adam?” She turned to look over at him, startled slightly. “I-- sorry. What’re you doing here? N-not that you can’t be here! I just...you don’t really seem the type to just...come to temple... “

Adam was generally inclined to agree with that assessment. Between dating a woman who had a Beanie Baby collection of demons and committing more degrees of murder than existed in any legal code, the Hunter was pretty sure Bex was being overgenerous with his being allowed in here.

“Last night’s DIE party was the kind you need to get sanctified after,” Adam asserted as he plopped down unceremoniously in the pew in front of Bex. “You should come sometime.” he wheedled playfully. “Make sure you have plenty to repent for on Saturday.”

But after a moment Adam paused, the mischief of flirting with a lawyer-dude’s girlfriend fading. Dark brown eyes looked over Bex again, this time without lewdness or jest.

“How’re you holding up Bex,” Adam asked quietly with more intentionality than the previous address.

As Bex looked at Adam, she tried to pinpoint exactly what it was that Nell saw in him. Maybe it was something she couldn’t see, because all she saw was a rather lewd frat boy, who sometimes had that far away sad look in his eyes. Maybe that was really just the persona he wanted others to see-- Bex could relate to that. The happy, chipper girl she pretended to be in public for her parents wasn’t who she was at all, and her being here right now sort of proved that. She had to look away from him, furrowing her brow and smoothing her palms down the front of her dress. She always tried to look nice when coming to Temple.

“I don’t think those kinds of parties are really my style,” she answered quietly. Took a moment to look around to make sure there wasn’t anyone too familiar in here with them. But it was relatively empty today, with only a few people milling about and the Rabbi making rounds before disappearing back into his office. Her eyes settled back on Adam and he had that sad look again. He even used her right name.

“I’m fine,” she said curtly, “just...getting used to being back in White Crest. Kind of a whole different world out there than it is here, you know?” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “What’s the real reason you’re here, Adam? Repentance also doesn’t seem up your alley.”

While Adam had been trained to deceive and achieve invisibility by fulfilling others assumptions, he wasn’t so far gone that Bex’s directness couldn’t still get a rise from him. Adam blinked and his face became briefly uncertain, as if the Hunter had flubbed a line in a script and broken character in front of an audience of one. “I’ve gotten in over my head,” the murderer admitted after a time.

“I’ve been trying to just tough it out,” the Hunter continued, referring to the abuse and torments of a demonic cult in the tone someone else might’ve used for minor health difficulties. “But I’ve running on fumes for so long now that like...eventually you’ve got nothing left. No more second winds, no just pushing on through,” the athlete explained.

“I’ve never like been close to really hitting that wall one other time before,” admitted Adam in memory of when his power and faith had shattered on Lyssa’s peak. “I’m uh, not liking my chances here.”

Adam encompassed the synagogue’s interior with a vague sweeping gesture that implied that perhaps the soldier wasn’t so much seeking redemption as reaching anything to keep from plummeting off a cliff.

“Do you prefer the world out there Bex?”

Bex looked at Adam and listened to his words. Whatever he was going through, it seemed rough on him, like it was wearing him down. Sands blasting down his walls and carving them away, smoothing them away. Eventually, they would become nothing. Just like hers. She felt a pull at her heart and she had to look away to not totally give up her shiny exterior. Cleared her throat and rubbed her eyes.

“Don’t you have like, people to help you?” she asked. “You know you don’t have to go it alone. That’s sorta the point of community.” She gestured to the area around them. There were so many other people he could’ve gone to bother, why did he have to choose her? Still, a sense of curiosity pulled at her. And empathy. She knew what it felt like to be at the end of your rope. Her hands wrung together.

“What, um-- what happened? If you don’t mind me asking. Are you okay?” Was he dying? Did Nell know? She paused at his question. “I...prefer the world that I know I can interact with. It’s easy to...pretend to be something there.”

“There is someone helping me”, Adam admitted, “and I’m thankful I’ve got her help on this, but uh... “ The Hunter ran a hand across the back of his neck. “That’s kinna the problem y’know? Worried I’m just going to drag her down with me.”

Bex seemed to genuinely inquire about his welfare, which was kinna touching. As always, Adam had to weigh the difference between the necessary lies and giving the other people enough of the truth as he could. “There is a group in town that I think are into some really dangerous stuff,” was definitely a criminal level of understatement. “But I need evidence and to catch them in the act to make a citizen’s arrest,” Adam concluded. It was technically a lie, but as closest to the spirit of the truth as he could manage without going straight into Twilight Zone territory.

It was dangerous to say out loud. But as much as Adam hated to admit it, against an adversary like Ma’al these hallowed walls were probably studier than any military bunker.

“Why do you wanna pretend Bex? What makes this place hard to interact with,” Adam asked slowly, kinna intuiting what she might mean in his gut, but not wanting to jump to conclusions here.

“Is it Nell?” Bex asked, blurting the words before she could stop them. She paused, recoiled and bit the inside of her cheek. “Sorry. Not to sound weird, but I met Nell on campus and then we got talking and she sort of told me about you guys.” She burned to ask Adam if he knew that his girlfriend claimed to be a witch, and wondered what his faith-- their faith-- would have to say about that. She wondered a lot of things about Adam, actually, and Nell was one of those things.

“I think...if she didn’t want to be helping, she would say so. I think worrying about that is pointless.” Not that Bex knew Nell super well, but from what she’d seen of her, Nell didn’t seem the sort to do something out of obligation. She shifted, and leaned back.

“Whatever you’re up to, it sounds illegal and dangerous, and I’m studying law, so maybe don’t tell me what you’re doing,” she pointed out quietly, giving another wary glance around. She scratched her knees awkwardly.

“That’s...complicated, I guess,” she mumbled, furrowing her brows. “I want to pretend because...maybe one day I can’t stop pretending and it’ll be real. I know this might seem strange, Adam, but the world isn’t kind to people like me. Out there, in here--” she gestured around them, “it’s all kind of the same.”

“Oh,” Adam mouthed, feeling like a dumbass. Adam was typically immune to embarrassment or society anxiety, one of those side benefits of being conditioned to ignore fear and pain that might trouble therapists. Normally Adam would only grin and make lewd implications at the prospect of women talking in private about him. It’d never bothered him before, but for some reason the thought of Nell specifically doing so brought on a precarious uncertainty. “Yeah you’re right, I know you're right,” Adam repeated, “but still…” Knowing something doesn’t mean it can’t fuck you head anyway.

“Don’t you think we need to do illegal and dangerous stuff sometimes?” pointed out the vigilante.

Adam watched Bex’s face as she explained, his expression softened by a touch of awkward compassion but not comprehension. “Look I uh...can’t pretend to know what it's like,” he admitted. “This world is pretty dickish to women and I’m definitely not innocent of that, but there’s gotta be somewhere, or somebody, that can feel like a safe place y’know?”

“But still...what?” Bex prodded. She didn’t mean to pry, but she was curious by nature. And she began to develop a sort of friendship with Nell, so concern wrought itself through her face as she watched Adam. He always seemed so typical, but for some reason, up close like this with him, he seemed somewhat...different. There was something mysterious about him, about the way he talked. The things he hinted at. The casualness of his attitude, and the ruffling of his brow at the mention of Nell. Bex looked back down.

“No, I don’t,” Bex said, repeating the mantra in her head that her parents always told her. Be good, be polite, be strong. She tried her best to follow those, but she didn’t get them all the time. “My family is pretty strict about that stuff.”

She couldn’t help but chuckle hollowly. “I was kinda hoping that’s what I’d find here,” she admitted quietly, “but no one ever answers me.”

Adam let out a long exhale between his lips as he tried to scrape together some words to describe a gut feeling. Visceral stuff didn’t tend to lend itself to explanation very well, but here goes: “I’ve mostly ever done casual relationships,” Adam began. “I can’t do halfway stuff like...I’m not wired that way,” admitted the young fanatic. “Either it’s just a fuck.” Adam put a hand on one side of the pew’s back. “Or you care enough about them to give up everything,” Adam’s hand shifted to the other side of pew, perhaps indicating that the Hunter’s conception of intimacy was either a roll in the sheets or devotion to the point of self-sacrifice.

“Nell and I are trying something new for both of us,” Adam posited,”I care about her, but also don’t want to go so all in we can’t find a way out,” the Hunter said, perhaps talking about two things at once. “But as I said, not so great at halfway.”

Bex’s desolate mirth at divine silence gave Adam pause. His dark brown eyes flicked up to the synagogue's arched ceiling, as if checking to see if any angels happened to be fluttering about the eves.

“When I was on tour in Saudi Arabia,” the young soldier began after a while, eyes still contemplating the interlacing triangle mosaics. “One of my squaddies was this dude named Hasan. I was a dumass...ok dumbasser.. teenager and didn’t know shit about Islam and my Arabic was terrible,” Adam continued. “But like, we were on patrol together alot so we talked about stuff. One day we were looking at this camp full of bodies all ripped apart and shit,” the Hunter continued with conversational casualness, neglecting to mention that he and Hasan were not patrolling the wastelands against their fellow men.

“Hasan prayed over them before we bared what was left and I asked him later how he could possibly feel close to God out here, with all the blood and fucking torn up meat all over the sand. I was kinna messed up and lost my cool,” the Hunter confessed numbly, as if assuming that Bex would rightly judge him for this unacceptable lapse of composure on the battlefield. “Hasan just said that even here, even in this, Allah is not absent, We are no farther from his presence, evil is just distracting us from it.”

Adam’s lips creased into a rueful smile, “we talked more after that, he told me about this sage Rabia who was like this zero-wave feminist who went into the desert to chill with God and do survivalism.” The Hunter’s tone indicated that he himself might have considered going full wilderness anarchist on multiple occasions. “She was super smart and kind to the people who went out there to learn from her, unless they were offering marriage in which case she told them to fuck off,”

Scholars might’ve contested this summary, but Adam had learned about Sufi mysticism from Hasan in between filling hordes of Alghouls full of silver buckshot, so perhaps parsimony was forgivable.  

“Anyway, Rabia’s whole deal I guess was that she found that like..mosques, patriarchy, the state and all that shit pulled her farther away from God,” Adam continued in the manner of someone who’d emotionally connected with what his brother in arms had described, even if neither of the young warriors really had a handle on the deeper theology. “Love was where she felt God. Love for herself, love even for the sand and all the scorpions, the joy of just being alive.”

Adam’s eyes finally left the ceiling and found Bex’s face. The young man scratched his temple in a sudden fit of bashfulness in the wake of reminiscence. “Ok uh, I dunno where I was going with that but...I’m shit at this...but I guess uh.. like ...maybe a temple is wherever you feel closer to God, even if that's a desert or even just a state of mind.”

“I’m still trying to find my temple,” the fallen Hunter admitted.

As Adam talked, Bex listened. Really listened. She’d had no idea he was a soldier, or that he’d been on tour. She’d gone to Jerusalem once with her parents, and her mother had looked down at her and told her to be on her best behavior, because she was already wrong for being in the temple of their God. She remembered the harsh look her father had given her as they’d entered and she was wearing a dress and her favorite shoes and he’d scoffed. Maybe that was where her disconnect had spawned from.

Adam’s story broke her heart a little.

Bex couldn’t even imagine the pain of seeing so much carnage. Her sheltered life had let her grow up in relative peace. Death was not a part of her life. Shame was, though. Shame and guilt. She could relate to him on those things, even if it pained her to admit that.

“I’m sorry, Adam,” she finally said quietly, “that you went through all that.” She’d judged him preemptively, but he was perhaps suffering more than most anyone else in this Temple. “You know, for a frat guy, you’re pretty wise,” seh tacked on quietly with a tease. Perhaps now she could see why Nell liked him so much.

“I don’t know Nell that well yet, but it sounds like you really care about her. I definitely can’t give relationship advice, I’ve never even been in a real one--” she gave pause, stuttering over her words. Frank, her current “boyfriend” was a cover, and she’d just given that up, “--until now! But...what I’m trying to say is, I think it’s okay to not know. I think figuring it out together is kinda like...the point, you know? Of being with someone like that. Of trying new things.” Things she only wished she could try, could have. He was looking at her with those bashful, knowing eyes and she had to look away.

“This place scares me,” she admitted quietly, “White Crest.” She rubbed her arm, pulling into herself. “My parents always kept me so locked away, even when I lived here. And now I’ve been back for almost two months and already I feel like this place is trying to change me, take me away from the person I’m supposed to be.” She looked up at the ceiling, mirroring his movements from moments ago. “I guess I just wanted answers.” The ceiling told her nothing, and she looked down to meet his eyes again.

“You and me both, then,” she answered his last statement, the same sort of broken admittance ringing in her voice, “Guess we’ll just have to keep searching, huh?” Because there had to be something better than this, for both of them.

Adam stared at Bex for a moment at her condolence, stunned, as if genuinely not understanding why a story of battlefield carnage had elicited that reaction.

“Well uh,” a red blush crept up Adam’s neck as if Bex’s compassion had unmanned him more then any debauchery or public streaking ever had. “It’s not ...I didn’t mean it like..” the Hunter insisted as if associating the long war with suffering was something unthinkable. Perhaps it was even literally unthinkable, an emotional descent Adam didn’t think he could survive.

“It’s an honor to serve,” Adam insisted quietly. Even disgraced, powerless, and at the edge breaking, the Hunter couldn’t abandon what was killing him.

“You’re pretty understanding for a church girl,” Adam answered back to the praise he didn’t deserve, the crease at the edge of his soft smile hinting at a deeper more serious compliment underneath the playful plaudit.

If Adam intuited something off about how abruptly and awkwardly Frank entered and left the conversation, he kept his peace.

There were things Adam wished he could tell Bex about White Crest, about why her fears were valid and his gut feeling that this city was in a liminal space between Earth and the fathomless unknown. But preserving supernatural secrecy was one of the sacred charges his ancestors had passed down, and Adam couldn’t bring himself to break it even when it seemed they’d abandoned him.

Besides, Bex seemed worried about White Crest killing her spiritually, while Adam had his hands full trying to prevent much more literal death in vamp infested graveyards.

“Yeah guess so…” Adam stood as if he were about to go, but paused, mulling over Bex’s words again. Locked up? Take her away from who she was meant to be? Aw shit. Uneasy vibes compelled Adam to speak even when his brain warned he should stay the hell outta this. “Hey Bex, like if its ever too much,” he began slowly, “I know people you stay with. On the other side of the country, or the Holy Land even.” Mom never turned away guests in need...well, human ones.

“Sorry if that’s pushy,” Adam ameliorated, “and you can tell me to fuck off. But like...offer open.”

His embarrassment was almost immediate and Bex couldn’t help but roll her eyes a little. He might’ve had a seeming heart of gold, but he still tried to apply certain standards of masculinity to himself. She supposed some things would never really change. Still, it didn’t discredit anything else he’d said, or that he’d done. “Well I did,” she answered, “mean it like that.”

At that, Bex snorted. “Church girl?” she chuckled, shaking her head. “Seriously? That’s what you think of me? Geez, I kinda hate that. Maybe I was right before, pretending I could solve my problems myself instead of coming here.” She was mostly teasing, but there was some truth to it. She hadn’t entirely found her purpose or sense of self within her faith yet, even as hard as she’d tried to. She had books about Jewish spiritualism-- Kabbalah as it were-- but after her parents had found the first one, their anger had made her never want to open one again, despite her curiosity for them. Despite what little she had read about it giving her a connection she’d never felt before.

His offer, however, was sudden and abrupt and not at all what she’d expected him to say. She blinked, confused, before softening her expression and shaking her head. “That’s real sweet of you to offer, Adam, but I could never take you up on that.” Her parents would never allow it. They’d brought her back here specifically to keep her close, and she had a feeling she wasn’t going to be let out of their grasp for a long time now.

Her expression fell again, as he stood and started to make his way out. “You know, Adam,” she said, a bit quieter now, “you’re a good guy. I can’t tell you what to do, but I think maybe letting people see this side of you more often might be nice.” She gave a gentle smile. “I’ll see you around. Tell Nell hi for me.”

[keelywolfe]

Drabble: Cheap Thrills (baon)

Summary: Stretch can get a lot of entertainment out of a thrift store find.

Tags:  Spicyhoney, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

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Read it here!

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Stretch loved to pick up old books at the thrift shop. There were so many gems that might get lost at a traditional bookstore, like his trusty copy of ‘How to Teach Spanish to Dogs.’

Romance novels were cheap and plentiful, and he got them by bagful for Blue, who never much seemed interested in finding his own romance but loved reading about others. Old reference books filled with outdated information that was still interesting to read about, seeing what people used to believe, until science or society proved them wrong.

Then there were specialty finds.

Stretch wasn’t even two steps through the front door before he held up his prize, announcing happily, “look what i found!”

Edge barely looked up from his laptop, “If it has even one clown on it—"

“No clowns.” That was a prize he’d be sure to stash behind the shower curtain for maximum effect.

For once Stretch didn’t mind Edge working a little overtime at home. Kept him off his feet, gave all those healing juices a chance to settle in.

But a little distraction never hurt. Stretch flopped on the sofa and settled his head right into Edge’s lap, ignoring his exasperated sigh as he held out the book he’d found.

The cover was old and stained, but the title was still readable, ‘The Congregational Cook Book’ and in small letters beneath that, ‘edited by the ladies’ aid society of the First Congregational Church of Ebott, 1915.’

He knew his baby well. As soon as Edge stopped glaring an actually looked at the book, a flicker of interest made an appearance. He set his laptop on the coffee table, ignoring Stretch’s exaggerated sputters of suffocation as his forward lean threatened to smother him with Edge’s shirt, then took the book.

“A cookbook?”

“a really old cookbook!” Stretch enthused, “like, a century old. i thought maybe you’d like to try one it out. See how it compares to the youtube generation of cooking.”

“That does sound interesting,” Edge flipped through the book, reading aloud, “Salmon omelet, no, thank you, green tomato pickles, hot water gingerbread, hm, apple tarts. I do have apples, how does that sound?”

“baby, anything you make sounds like mana from heaven.” And at Edge’s raised brow bone, Stretch admitted, “except risotto, okay, but that’s less you than a general dislike of the genre.”

Edge nudged Stretch off his lap and stood, heading into the kitchen with book in hand. Normally, Stretch would’ve tossed him a fair thee well and let him get to it, but this time, he followed Edge through the swinging door. He was sort of curious if there were any differences in a recipe from a hundred years ago to now, and hey, science, right?

Not that he planned on helping with the cooking process, he was here strictly as an observer, and he plopped down into one of the chairs that surrounded their ‘dining room table’, “so, how much longer are we eating at the card table?”

“Not long,” Edge retrieved a large bowl from under the counter and a set of measuring cups from the cupboard before tying on an apron. “I’m working on a plan for our new kitchen layout. As soon as it’s done, I’ll have the builders get started on it.”

“uh huh, no rush, i was only curious,” Stretch propped his chin on one hand. “you do have a lot on your plate right now, babe. and there’s your whole mental health assessment you still need done.”

Really, it was sort of impressive how much Stretch could glean from slightest change in his husband’s expression. A normal person would think there was no change, but Stretch was good with languages, spent years learning Edge-ese. He knew a twist of distaste when it saw it, “Yes. There is that.”

Any other comment about it was effectively blocked by Edge’s renewed focus on the cookbook, reading the recipe aloud beneath his breath. His brow bone slowly furrowed, concentration replaced with dismay. Which…it was a cookbook, not a grimoire of early twentieth century curses. Wasn’t it?

“babe?” Stretch asked cautiously, “what is it?”

“What kind of recipe is this!” Edge exclaimed. He picked up the book and read aloud, “Eggs, oil, fresh butter or lard, sugar, baking powder, as much flour as it needs. Must be soft as an earlobe, thicker than cake.”

“uh…” Stretch scratched at the back of his skull. “and?”

“That's it. That's the entire recipe. There’s no measurements, no directions, no temperature for baking!” He slapped the book back down on the counter-top. “There are no apples listed! How can this be a recipe for apple tarts without apples? How in the name of the unknown am I supposed to gauge the softness of an earlobe when I don’t have ears?”

All great questions, except Stretch was in possession of exactly zero answers. “does seem a little speciest against those of us without earlobes.”

Edge glared at the cookbook as if by his will alone answers to his questions would come, which was why Stretch was a little surprised when Edge said abruptly, "Let me see your phone."

"yeah, sure," Stretch said, slowly handing it over. Not like he had any secrets or anything and while Edge might change his own passwords at least once a month for security reasons, he’d been using the first 6 digits of Pi since he got the phone. “why?”

“Because I left mine in the living room.” Edge tapped the screen impatiently holding it out as it began dialing out over speakerphone.

A sleepy voice answered, "'lo? Wassup, Boney Marony. "

"Jeff,” Edge said, “I’m afraid you’ll have to engage in wordplay with my husband later. Right now, I need you to come over so I can feel your ears."

A long moment of silence. "That’s very specific. Okay, I'll bite, give me five."

It was more like ten minutes, with Edge sitting impatiently across from Stretch, who was engaged in a furious game of Words With Friends on his newly retrieved phone. Until the light knock came on the front door followed by Jeff shambling into the kitchen. He looked like they’d woken him from a nap, his hair was smashed flat on one side and sticking up on the other. He scratched at his t-shirt covered belly and yawned out, "You know, before I met you guys, I never got calls like this."

“sounds to me like you needed a little more excitement in your life,” Stretch said cheerily.

Edge didn’t bother with a greeting. He limped determinedly over, stripping off his gloves as he went, and without warning began to vigorously fondle Jeff’s earlobes. Jeff squeaked out a mousy sound, his eyes wide as golf balls as he stared up at Edge.

Well. Wasn’t like Andy didn’t know why he was here.

“easy, babe,” Stretch winced, “he might need a little foreplay before you go right for the lobes.”

“I’m checking his ears, not his testicles,” Edge said curtly, even as he leaned down to peer closely at the ears in question.

That remark made Stretch and Jeff speak in unison,

“holy shit, wow, just tossing that out there, huh.”

“Okay, I’m good to help a friend out, but I am drawing the line at ball grabbing.”

Edge ignored them both. He let Jeff go and limped back to his gathered ingredients, already starting to measure them into the bowl, “Thank you, Jeff, that will be all.”

Welp, that sounded like a dismissal. Stretch climbed to his feet, jerking his head towards the door. “c’mon, andy, we can take in a flick while you’re here, if you want.”

Jeff was still a little wobbly, gingerly reaching up to touch one of his well-inspected ears as he followed Stretch out, “Do I want to know what that was all about?”

Stretch shrugged, “cooking.”

“Cooking,” Jeff repeated. He mouthed it again, soundlessly, then shook his head. “I don’t even think I want to know, plausible deniability is probably better. So, he asked for me to help, why?”

“well, how many other humans does edge know that he can call up and ask?” Stretch asked reasonably. He picked up the remote and turned on Netflix. “and don’t say your honey because we both know he’d just hang up, especially without having the proper forms filled out first.”

“Glad to be the go-to guy for illicit cooking-related bodily inspections.” Jeff joined Stretch on the sofa, settling in. “Classic Twilight Zone, huh? Good choice.”

The first episode was mostly over by the time Edge came out with a tray with a half-dozen golden-brown treats that brimmed with appley goodness. Stretch and Jeff dug in, mumbling thank you’s around their mouthfuls and Stretch was already on his second one when he noticed Edge was scribbling notes. He chewed and swallowed his current bite and asked, “what are you doing?”

“Gauging your reactions,” Edge said, still writing, “I kept a close track of the ingredient measurements that I used so that I can make changes for the second batch. Are they too dry? Is the pastry tough?”

“Tastes fine to me,” Jeff said around his mouthful.

“Crisp? Chewy? Is there enough spice?” Edge persisted. The two of them did their best to answer him around bites and finally, Edge made a satisfied sound and disappeared back into the kitchen.

“Huh,” Jeff snagged another tart. “How many batches you think he’s gonna make?”

Stretch shrugged, “i do my experiments and he does his.”

“His taste better.”

“my science isn’t the kind you lick.”

“So far it hasn’t involved you groping my ears, either,” Jeff took a bite and groaned around it, “Worth it, man, but the balls are still off-limits.”

“sounds reasonable.” Stretch snagged the last tart and sank back to watch the pig-faced doctor demanding a needle to sedate his patient, happily waiting to review batch number two.

Hey, he got a snack and a show, all for the price of a thrift store book. Now all he needed to do was sneak that clown statue into the bathroom, but eh, he might wait a while on that. This was enough entertainment for one day.

-finis-

Notes:

So, the recipe in question has been slightly modified from one in a reddit post and the poster had a couple of similar questions as Edge, although their solution wasn't the same. 😂 I couldn't resist writing how Edge would react to finding such a recipe.

The ‘The Congregational Cook Book, edited by the ladies’ aid society of the First Congregational Church, 1915.’ is real enough and I own it. Some of recipes and their measurements are very interesting in comparison to what we see now!