#i have a whole playlist specifically for these connections and it's 4 hours long

[alsophila-grahami]

how i feel when i notice parts of the same melody in two different andrew bird songs

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 73. brb x oc

a/n: aaaAAAAAAAAAAA IVE BEEN TRYING TO POST FOR HOURS BUT MY CONNECTION IS SHIT!!! anyway FEEDBACK IS WELCOME AND ENCOURAGED

also here are the pics that inspired the idea for Bea's photoshoot uwu

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: Fluff, Bea facing demons, HONESTLY IM JUST PREPARING YOU GUYS BECAUSE THINGS WILL GET INTERESTING SOO ENOUGH AAAAAAAAA (again uwu )

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2 @emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads

-

January came to an end, an end that honestly Bea thought came way too fast…because she was finally on her way to the photo shoot. It was going to happen in a matter of hours, Marcus told her to get there early, Rooster was at work and she couldn’t really bother him to take her there so Shells did instead.  Except the ‘there’ was Evelyn’s apartment.

She was a bit confused, expecting them to do it in another location or something of the sort, but Shells and herself went up the known elevator to Evelyn’s penthouse floor, stepping inside the apartment with wide eyes. There were a lot of people there, racks with clothes, boxes filled with accessories and whatnot and Wiley was curiously sniffing everything before he landed on the couch.

“Woah.” she hears Shells say, pulling her sunglasses to her hairline, “That’s a whole fuck lotta people.” Beatrice agrees with her, seeing a lot of people moving back and forth at Evelyn’s apartment, until she meets her friend’s eyes across the room. Evelyn smiles, walking away from the woman she’s talking with to step away and to the two surprised friends by the entrance.

“Glad you showed up and on time too, very good for a rookie.” Evelyn teases Bea, who laughs nervously, hugging her cardigan on her crossed arms almost like a nervous shield, “Marcus is setting everything in my room, the lights are getting ready and whatnot, it’ll be done in a little bit.”

Beatrice nods, seeing other models already seated outside on Evelyn’s balcony, most of them wearing robes and having a variety of body types and skin tones, “Oh, ah, they are already done?”

Evelyn looks over her shoulder to where Beatrice gestured, “Not really, they are just waiting to be called to get their makeup and hair ready.” she explains, shrugging, “I just told them to get comfortable. Come on, Marcus would want to see you.” the brunette nods, following Evelyn down the hallway that led to her bedroom where she could hear voices -specifically one that sounded a lot like Marcus’ - coming from there.

She was a bit confused as to why Evelyn agreed for this photo shoot to be done in her place, maybe her friendship with Marcus went deeper than she thought? Maybe it was because…well, maybe it was because he liked the apartment! That could be it, it’d be easier than to rent an actual place, right? Also, during the time before the photo shoot, she actually looked some stuff up about how much models are paid, especially the rookie ones.

She isn’t sure…if it’s because Marcus is the one dealing with all this or because he really liked her, but the price she saw online and the price she was offered were very different. She was confused, yet very thankful for that. It would help them in the long run after all. They reached Evelyn’s room, seeing that the space turned into a beauty room with vanities, more racks of clothes and make up boxes all over the place.

In the middle of everything was Marcus, who was currently fixing a one piece suit on a hanger, looking up when he heard people coming, “Oh!My muse! You are here!” Bea waved gently and squeaked out a soft hi before he hugged her, air kissing her cheeks and doing the same to Shells who was just watching this whole thing with wide eyes, “I am so happy you arrived, come come come!” he grabs Bea’s wrist, tugging her gently to the rack of clothes he was messing with minutes before, “These are all for you.”

Those were a lot of clothes, in different shades of reds, purples, blues and darker or neutral shades. Beatrice’s whispered yet amazed ‘woah’ as she brushed her figner through each one made Marcus smile, “They were all made thinking of you.” the brunette looks back at him with wide eyes, “I believe it’ll be a huge success.”

“Well–I…thank you, Marcus, it means a lot to me.” she smiles, genuinely thankful for him. He nods back in reply, leaning closer to Whitney and letting her know they were ready to begin. The woman pulled out a fluffy robe with the initials M.B embroidered in gold thread on the breast area and handed it to Beatrice. Evelyn and Shells stood by the brunette, with the former placing a hand on her shoulder and leading her to the ensuite bathroom so she could change.

The bathroom there was huge, in tones of black, white and gold, a divider with Japanese motifs separated the bathtub and shower from the rest of the bathroom…and it was also the same place where Beatrice would change into the new robe. She hands her other clothes to Shells, everything including her underwear - she was very thankful she waxed literally everything a few days before - as she runs her fingers through her hair. Shells however hands the phone over to Beatrice, knowing she’d like to talk to Rooster if time allowed her to.

Beatrice holds the phone with both hands, almost too scared to part ways with it, finally choosing to slide into the robe’s low pocket, its weight a comfortable reminder. “Okay.” she says, stepping from behind the divider, “I’m ready.”

“Good,” Evelyn grins, “They are waiting for you, don’t worry, we’ll be there with you too so you won’t be alone.”

“Thanks guys,I really–I…” she couldn’t find words to describe, “I-I—thanks. Really.”

She steps out of Evelyn’s bathroom to see the amount of people on the outside were now inside the room alongside the three other models already seated on their own vanities, each one with their own makeup artist to their side. Beatrice feels a gust of fear making it’s way up her spine, looking back at her friends for courage. Both women gave Bea a thumbs up, so the brunette inhaled deeply before getting closer to the station she’d be at. 

The makeup artist, a person with tattooed cheeks and forehead and dark lipstick smiled at her, “Hi, Beatrice, my name is Mal and I’ll be your make up artist while Genie,” they point to a young woman with afro puffs and a Madonna shirt standing behind her, “Will do your hair. Is that alright with you?” they were being very careful which she was surprised and grateful for. She feared she’d be…mistreated or just tossed around and hoped for the best but they were being very nice with her.

Beatrice nods, sitting down on the chair in front of the vanity to stare at her reflection. She didn’t usually pay much attention, but with such a big mirror and it being surrounded by light she could see the bags under her eyes were just a bit less prominent, but there were still small blemishes on her face and skin, alongside some freckles she never noticed she had before. And she used sunscreen daily. 

Beatrice tried to hold back her surprise when she felt someone messing with her hair already and Mal’s face was right next to her. She was used to doing her makeup herself, honestly she wasn’t the greatest at it but she could make herself look good if need be. But this was like if her skincare routine was made for the rich and famous, because there were things on her face she had never heard before.

Mal did compliment her skin though, saying it was very healthy and taken care of nicely. Which to her was a surprise, she always had issues with her skin - cue the bags under her eyes and the few blemishes she still had -  so to hear that from a professional makeup artist really did something good to her ego.

They turned Bea around so her back faced the mirror instead of her face and so she could see both Evelyn and Shells sitting alongside Marcus on chairs that resembled the one she and the other models were seated in, folded and easy to carry. She couldn’t talk much with how Mal and Genie were messing with her hair and face, but she would sometimes mumble a reply to a question or give them an ‘ok’ sign. She went to a spa once with her nonna, it resembled her a little bit of what this was, the massaging on her scalp and the delicious smell of flowers - lavender - entering her nose was helping her relax a little bit more.

According to Marcus, he wanted the models to have a wet hair look and then a beautiful natural dry look that would work with each of the clothes. And since most of the clothes he had were swimwear, it made sense. Beatrice’s eyes moved to the bikinis on the rack as Mal brushed a light colored lipstick over her mouth, the same fear from before returning albeit a lot milder.

Those were nice bikinis, but compared to the other models in the room, she felt…the pang of self consciousness come and her confidence dropped a little bit. She felt like it’d be like most of the photo shoot, a roller coaster of emotions and fears that she’d have to endure. She was a bit thankful that it was happening in Evelyn’s apartment though, she hoped she wouldn’t need to, but if she had to take an ‘emotional break’ she could easily find her way around the huge place or with Evelyn’s help.

“There you go.” Mal smiles, tilting her head up so the light hit her face just right, looking back at Marcus and the two girls, “Isn’t she gorgeous?” Beatrice felt her cheeks warm up at the compliment, something that Rooster often called her but felt strange coming from someone else but him. Both Evelyn and Shells clapped, the latter even wolf whistling at her friend’s makeup and hair since Genie was done as well. 

“You look amazing, oh Mal you did a wonderful job.” Marcus says, one of his hands to his heart as he looks at Beatrice, “You all did.” Beatrice looked to the other models with curiosity, seeing they had the same ‘bare face no makeup makeup’ on. They all looked beautiful and Beatrice couldn’t help but wonder if she looked just the same. Her answer came in the form of a chair turning and the view of her face in the mirror.

She gasped, turning her head this way and that to check all the angles “Wow…” she whispered, she really looked amazing, “This is incredible.”

“We had a great canvas to work with.” comes Genie’s response, which makes Beatrice smile bashfully and look down at her hands, “Okay, she’s ready.”

Shit.

It was really happening.

Beatrice looked back at the other models who were talking to other assistants, while Marcus waited in the middle of the room with his hands clasped, watching Bea stand to her feet and wring her hands together nervously, “Very well, we’ll start with…” he trifles through the clothes until he finds what he was looking for, “This one.” a black bikini with bottoms that knotted at the hip bones, something she had never worn but always wanted to. “You can go change, we’ll wait for you.”

“O-Okay.” she holds the bikini in front of her face, then looks back at the two friends who were still there, seated, “Can they–come with me?”

“Of course.”

Beatrice steps into the ensuite bathroom with Shells and Evelyn following her, hiding back behind the golden divider and pulling the bikini out of its specific rack. She looks down at the soft fabric and the way it was shaped with her fingers slightly trembling with nerves, “I can do this.” she whispers to herself, undoing the knot of her robe to finally change.

Shells and Evelyn wait outside, the blonde casually leaning over the divider’s edge to check if Bea was alright, “She’s looking, a-mazing.” she says once she leans back to face Evelyn, “This was the best idea ever.”

Evelyn, while worried about this whole ordeal at the beginning when Marcus first offered it to Beatrice, eventually warmed up to it with the condition her friend would have a good time and be okay about it. She didn’t want Beatrice to be too nervous or scared because of Marcus and the others, especially because it was a swimwear mainly shoot, “As long she’s okay– are you okay Bea?”

“Yeah.” comes the muffled reply from behind the divider, “I’m almost done.”

She walked out still wearing the robe, the bikini fit her perfectly, it was almost like it was molded to her body and she couldn’t understand how it was possible but it was, “Okay.” she nods, walking out of the bathroom with her friends following, meeting Whitney outside who was holding a thin pair of sunglasses, gently placing it over Beatrice’s nose and leading her towards the area where the photoshoot would happen.

Every step only made her nerves stand on edge, her throat feeling dry like she swallowed sand. She inhaled shakily, clenching the edged of the robe to her chest, seeing the lights and cameras all moved to the balcony, some of the models already posing…in the pool. Oh. Oh that was new. She knew it was a swimwear photoshoot first but…she was a bit nervous about it, what if she slipped? What if she couldn’t really do a pose like the other models were? Beatrice chews the inside of her lip, bouncing on the balls of her feet anxiously as she watches the photoshoot happen.

Marcus wasn’t only the fashion designer, he was also the photographer which to be honest made her feel more at ease. She wasn’t close to him like Evelyn was, but knowing he would be the one taking the photos was very helpful. She watches the models turn and change positions several times, it was amazing…and fast. Beatrice strats wringing her hands together again, smell the flower blow the candle. Repeat, repeat, repeat. 

Watching this whole thing happen was amazing, not to mention fast. Soon enough she was called to step in, blinking back at Marcus who smiled at her, holding his camera, “Come on.” He nodded to the pool as the other women dried up and got back inside to change into another outfit. Beatrice nods meekly, turning back to Evelyn and Shells, both women walking forward with her when she finally gets to the balcony.

What if someone from other buildings see her? What if they take pictures of this photoshoot? What if they post online and then everyon-”Bea,” Evelyn’s calm voice snaps her out of her anxious thoughts, “No one lives in the last floot across from me and the floor below it can’t see anything but the walls, no one will see you.” she didn’t know how she did it, but the fact that Evelyn knew exactly what was bothering her relaxed her a whole lot.

“Okay.” she whispers, pulling her phone out of the robe’s pocket, looking down at it and smiling when there was a message from Rooster.

“You’ll do great, angel ;) I love you and I’ll see you later <3”

She smiles more, then locks the phone to hand it over to Shells. She’s so nervous when she removes the robe, even clenching her eyes before she folds it and keeps it in front of her a shield, blinking one eye open when no one said anything, they just waited for her to make a move, “Oh.” she blushes, placing the robe aside and still keeping her hands in front of her body, clasped above her navel, “Um…w-what do I do?”

“Well, we’ll start easy first. I’m sure Evelyn can help you too,right?” Marcus tilted his head to her friend, Beatrice meeting Evelyn’s brown eyes as she got closer, placing both of her hands on her shoulders to shake them a bit off the tension.

“Think of this as if you are modeling in your bedroom.” she explains, “It might not feel like it, but it’s the same. Don’t be afraid to mess up, it’s your first one so you can hesitate a bit. Second and last, have fun. It’s very liberating.”

“O-Okay.” she says softly, “Thanks Ev.” Evelyn nods, giving a step back to Marcus could direct Beatrice where to go first. Her stomach was still cold with nerves, deciding to keep her breathing pattern as she gently runs her fingers through her hair, body tilted to the side. She was surprised when she heard the sound of the camera lens clicking, looking at where Marcus was in surprise.

He smiles, looking down at the screen, “Perfect. That was amazing.” he even shows the picture to her, the brunette widening her eyes in surprise at how…good she looked. She looked amazing, she didn’t even look like herself and it wasn’t even a planned picture at all. “Another one!”

-

Beatrice changed outfits several times and over time, her confidence finally taking over and she noticed how fun this really was. More and more she felt sexy, her movements were more fluid and in the last picture she finally smiled as bright as the sun, something Marcus and everyone else around them complimented.

When she photo shoot was done she was expecting them to thank her, but not to be clapped…even by the other models! She watched with wide eyes as they hooted and complimented her, telling how she did such a good job for someone who never did that before, even suggesting she should try to follow this field in the near future. Beatrice laughs nervously, her eyes prickling with thankful tears saying she’ll think about it, pulling the robe around her shoulders before going back inside.

Once she was in the ensuite bathroom with Shells and Evelyn, both women squealed, engulfing their brunette friend in a hug and jumping in a circle in the middle of the bathroom. Beatrice laughed, covering her face with both hands and enjoying the happiness that took over them and was eventually dripping towards her, “I did it!” she says behind her hands, pulling them back when they stop jumping, “I really did it!”

“You did and you were incredible.” Evelyn complimented, “You were just great, Bea. You really were.” the brunette sighed happily , her eyes shining with tears but she didn’t let them fall. She was…over the moon, she was so happy, her body was buzzing with energy. Shells handed her clothes back so Bea could change, with the two other women waiting outside the divider.

“Hey,Ev. How did Marcus convince you to let him use your place for the photoshoot?” Beatrice asks as she pulls her pants up her legs, shimmying them up past the hips.

“I actually suggested it.”

“You…suggested it?”

Evelyn’s head pops back over the divider’s edge, giving her friend a little smile, “Honestly,I didn’t want them to take you to a random place where you’d be alone and wouldn’t know your surroundings. Plus, if you were, you’d probably wouldn’t be able to have me or Shells with you.”

Beatrice looked at her friend with wide eyes, tying the ends of her red shirt by her waist - exposing the midriff, a complete opposite of how she got there with it down past her hips- “...really?” the fact that Evelyn wanted them to do the photoshoot at her penthouse apartment because it meant that Bea would have both her and Shells as support…meant so much to her. She had the greatest friends ever, God.

They’d definitely be her bridesmaids and– okay! Not thinking about this right now! In reality ever since she saw the bridal shop her mind has been…very…intriguing. She’s been having thoughts about dresses and ceremonies and even looking at the pictures of her aunt’s wedding - especially the ones of her and Rooster - and just wondering things.

She talked about it to her therapist, to which Dr.Varma just smiled warmly and suggested that maybe that’d be the next step after moving in together. It was insane…and yet, she wasn’t mad about it. But she wouldn’t mention it to him yet, she still needed time to think more about it and figure out what to do.

Once she’s done back into her old clothes, she’s surprised to see Marcus waiting for her outside, holding a gift box in his hands, “Beatrice, my darling muse.” her cheeks reddened even under all the makeup “You did wonderful today, darling. You were magnificent! And, as a thanks, these are for you.” he holds out the box for her, making Beatrice blink up at him in confusion.

“For me but–” she gently opens the lid, gasping in surprise when she sees the contents…the outfits she wore for the photo shoot! All of them, beautiful wrapped in peach colored paper with a big ‘recycle’ sticker on top, ‘But,but I—really? Are you sure?”

“I usually gift my first time models as a thanks for working with me.” he looks over towards Evelyn, “As Evelyn well knows. So these are all for you.”

Beatrice grabs the box with both hands, no words daring to come out of her mouth as she looks up at Marcus, finally lowering her gift and hugging the tall man tightly, ‘Thank you.” it was more than a thank you for the gift, it was a thank you for everything he did to her, “Thank you so much.”

“You are welcome my muse,” he says, hugging her back, “I’ll talk to you later tomorrow alright? So you can get paid as handsomely as I promise and so I can tell you when to expect the photos.”

“O-Okay, thank you.” Bea feels her phone vibrate, pulling back to look down at it once she gets it from her back pocket, “Oh,I-I have to go, Rooster is here.” Shells amused ‘of course he is’ makes her smile, but she thanks them all again, hugging Shells and Evelyn before she makes her way to the door.

Since Shells planned on staying behind to talk to Evelyn, Beatrice just said her goodbyes and made her way to the elevator, petting Wiley on the way out. Her cheeks hurt from smiling, the large black gift box in her hands only appearing to be bigger as the elevator lights hit it…and honestly she couldn’t believe she actually did that. She thanked again whatever deity made it possible for her to do so, bouncing in the elevator with how happy she was, stepping out of it almost tripping over herself.

She told the concierge goodbye, humming happily as she walks out of the building, looking around for the blue Bronco and grinning happily when she finds it and sees its driver leaning on the door with his arms crossed and his lips tilted in a smile. Rooster lets out a quiet whistle when he can see the makeup up close, “Damn, look at you.” she giggles, adjusting the box in her arms but her boyfriend picks it up before she drops it, because he’s loving just like that, “You got yourself a gift?”

“Yeah!Marcus wanted to thank me.” she watches him open the door and place the box on the back seat, “So he gifted me some things.” She didn’t say what they were just yet, choosing to keep that as a secret for now. Rooster hums from the inside, signaling he was listening to her, pulling back to look down at Beatrice with the same grin, “I had…a lot of fun.”

“Yeah?” he coos, cupping the side of her face with his big hand, “You look really good and I can see from your expression it was fun…so, how about we go celebrate?”

“Celebrate?”

“Yeah,” he smirks, “I was thinking since you don’t have work tonight we could go somewhere.” he opens the passenger door for her, kissing her temple as she walks past him, “You know, I think it’ll be fun.”

“I’d like that, Roos.” she grins, “Anywhere you have in mind?”

“Actually, yeah.” he says, leaning his head down to peck her lips, his eyelids low as he takes in her appearance one more time, “I think you’ll like the place. God, you look really good.”

Beatrice giggles again, cupping his face with her hands, rubbing his jawline with her thumbs, “Thank you,Roos…so, shall we?”

[exvangelicalrage]

christian Music Sucks

5/10/23

I have this very specific, strange set of songs in my head. It's kinda like mental shrapnel that never got excised, despite having long ago left christianity.

I was listening to music with my in-laws the other day, and the song "American Pie" came on the playlist. But the thing is, when I was a kid, I learned a christian parody version of it. So while a normal person's brain is going, "A long long time ago, I can still remember / How that music used to make me smile..." my brain instead offers, "A long, long time ago, a lowly couple made a journey / to a place called... bethlehem." 

Yes. They made it into a christmas song. 

The chorus goes, "And my, my can you feel it inside / there's no other like a brother who would lay down his life / he was sent by the father just to be crucified / so that you and I can never die / you and I can never dieeee..." 

"Mambo #5" became "The Farmer Song" (Jump up outta bed at 4:02 / because a hard workin' farmer's got a lot to do / no time for a meal cuz the clock is tickin' / when you gotta milk the cows and you gotta feed the chickens—and yes it had a christian theme about faith and how god provides); "Stayin' Alive" became "Stayin' Awake," which was about being tired and trusting god to take care of your needs; "We Are the Champions" became "We Serve The Champion"; "We Didn't Start the Fire" became "We Didn't Say Your Town Right" (which was a fundraising song)—and so far I've only mentioned songs done by John and Denny who were the hosts of The Morning Show for Family Life Network in upstate New York. 

Apologetix was the other big parody band from the 2000s that I remember. Among others, they ruined "Absolutely" by 9 Days by turning it into "Story of A Squirrel":

This is the story of a squirrel Who God preserved when He drowned the whole world And while things looked so dark and Noah's ark was absolutely flooded Yet she's fine

You can look them up if you need a good laugh (or a good cry). 

The thing is, I never know when one of these songs is going to blindside me. I'll just be walking through a store, and suddenly my brain will be singing "this is the story of a squirrel" and it'll get stuck in my head for hours. Mental shrapnel, like I said. 

I find find that these moments trigger a very special kind of rage. 

Because here's the thing: most christian music sucks. And the originals of many of these songs are absolute historical pieces of art. American Pie? Bohemian Rhapsody? Sounds of Silence? As a reasonably musically talented kid, these songs were incredible to 11-year-old me, who only really had hymns and Michael W Smith for comparison. They were some of the best songs I'd ever heard—catchy, interesting, complex. 

And christians ruined them. 

I get it too. I get why they did it. I like Word Crimes by Weird Al a million times better than whatever the original is. And it makes sense christians might want actually good music but with lyrics that didn't offend them. I get it. Like, I remember how shocked I was when I heard the original lyrics to Mambo #5 lol. So yeah. I see the logic.

It still sucks.

It's a bit of joke now between me and my spouse. A song will come on a playlist or in a TV show, and suddenly I'll be singing some weird-ass lyrics that don't make any sense, and J will be rolling his eyes and teasing me. I usually laugh too.

But sometimes, instead, I'm struck with this deep, abiding sadness. That something as simple as culturally relevant music was ripped away from me because it was "evil." J can sing along to music with his parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles, cousins & friends, and coworkers, no matter their age—simply because he was allowed to listen to the radio. It's a shared experience, a bridge, a way to establish connection between generations, between strangers, between friends. 

And yeah, of course I've now learned most of the originals. I can sing along too. But it's not the same. It's not a memory I have from childhood, of listening to the radio or having my parents introduce me to their favorite musicians or recalling the song played at my senior prom.

Everyone else isn't just sharing music. They're sharing memories. They're sharing nostalgia. They're sharing emotion. 

And I'm over here stuck with "this is the story of a squirrel..." 

[manifesting-mari]

Morning Pages 2/8/2023

I’m working on developing my trust for the bigger energies that hold this world together. To trust that i am part of this divine puzzle and i am safe and protected. The systems of oppression have programed us to believe that we are inherently unsafe. The systems that are in place perpetuate the survival and fear when they are fully capable of supporting the health and safety of all. I am no longer interested in adhering to that prediction of reality. I’m in the business of changing the way we allow ourselves to be treated. This is the healing. We no longer allow the systems to separate us. We no longer look at ourselves at separate. We are one whole

I am looking at that last paragraph through my own experience and also through the experience of the collective. We already are connected, and the 3D world makes us think we are separate. Because we are separate in this dimension. Its part of it. Its part of the experience we signed up for. 

I like what Val said on You Made It Weird. Something like “we are someone, some of the one. And we are awesome, some fo the awe.” the interconnectedness is something that i feel very easily and i definitely need to work on my boundaries on that. How do i protect my container? I need to do David’s class again. Maybe i’ll do that today.

Taking that walk with Jordan last night was really healing. Im grateful for the honesty i feel and I’m grateful for all the feelings that come up around them. The butterflies and the squirmy wormies. Last night i noticed the part of me that was judging him. And like, my judgment was that he was a weirdo, and i like weirdos, i am a weirdo, but then i felt a part fo me that thought “this isnt cool” or like “this isn't smooth” it was interesting, the more i felt into it, i could feel this ungroundedness that i look for in male partner. I look for that in male partners because i am not connected with my root. My sense of safety came from my father and i didnt realize how much i turned to men to feel safe. Its ok for me to express when i feel unsafe. And its ok for the people around me to feel unsafe and let me know. And we share how we feel, not to make it go away necessarily, although that is a symptom of this practice. Us expressing we’re both feeling unsafe allows us to support each other through our feelings of unsafety.

There is a song that came up on this playlist called “I Am Woman” and its really hitting me right now. Its on a root chakra playlist and the lyrics for this song are in red. I wonder what the weather is like today. I know later this week its gonna get close to 60. I might go to the beach on that day and sit out in the sun. When i think of my new job i get mixed emotions, mostly because i really enjoy and value having flexibility with my schedule. But this is only a necessary evil until the wedding work starts. 

Interesting how i use the word evil. I still have a long of negative feelings around work like this. Im wondering what that is. There is a whole lot of judgment around a typical 9-5 job or basically any job that is required to give 40 hours. 40 hours is a whole lot. Id rather work 20 hrs a week. 

I think today is the day to flesh out whatever thing i have in my head. Do a practice run of it and get it launched by March. Work it through in March. Record the classes, and then offer it as a grab and play for april. With “guidance hours”

I feel the part fo me that is scared to start this and that is saying that no one is interested. There are people who are interested. Manifesting Mari’s School for Wayward Adults. This is a school for adults who are in a transitional phase and looking to do something different than the system expects. 5 subjects. Reading, Writing, Science, Math, Arts/Music. 4 weeks. 2 offering times. I feel like im getting caught int he details and i need to get more specific on the person who would be a good fit for this class. I think this course is good for people who are working on self discovery

What was the thing i was trying to figure out. Oh. manifesting for disorganized attachment. The law of attraction is hard for me because there are so many different kinds of options that im open to that i cannot commit. The release and surrender had helped me a lot, but im still trying to integrate and process. 

Im feeling very disconnected. Schuyler’s class really helped. Maybe i need to listen to David’s classes too. I should also reach out to Naomi or Ezra. i just feel so weird. I wonder if i should talk to jordan about shame around body and vices. The shame is not actually mine, is it? Like i dont think im doing a bad thing or guilty of something. But i do feel that little bit of me thats like “I’m a bad person and i am a temptress, a seductress, a siren,and a succubus.” im not bad for smoking. Im not bad for being fat. Im not bad for not being attractive. I am not bad for accidentally hurting someone. I am not bad. I am a conduit for love, honesty, and authenticity. 

I want to get better at speaking my truth and being who i am. I am no longer trying to be someone different and trying to get to this wild point. Well i am. But i know my route will bring me home first. Bring me to myself. Bring me to the pure power of I Am that is the strongest power in this 3D world. You cant change someone who is sure of themselves. I used to be sure that i was a piece of shit. Now im sure im not. Now im sure that i am a loving, kind, and forgiving. I am forgiving with myself and with others to the best that i can. Sometimes being forgiving with myself and others can be a challenge, but i give myself grace and patience and allow myself ot heal on its own time. Healing is not my business. I am in the business of freedom, stability, exploration, and expansion. 

Ok. starting now i am living in the present which is a paradise of abundance. I am tuning into what i know is here. I am being present and tuning into the magick that is here. I  am tuning into th empower that is here. I am tuning into the love that exist and i amplify it. I am tuning into what the universe has and i amplify that which is authentic. I amplify that which i am able to. I am powerful and stronger than i think. I know i am powerful. I know i am strong. I know i am smart and capable. I am intelligent and witty. I am safe and protected. I am supported by the earth and i am supported by the divine. I am supported through love. I am a powerful human. I am a powerful medium. I am a sensitive psychic. I am a strong container and conduit for the divine. I am working for the greatest good for all and for the harm to none.

I am dedicated to connection. I am the heart. I am the bridge between the higher and lower. I am a goddess of this lower realm. I am a co creator with the divine and the universe. I am open and i am ready for my roles. I am brave and i am strong. I have all the tools i need. I give myself space and time. I have patience and trust. 

I am part of this positive change in this world. I am the change that i want to see in this world. I am embodying the practices. I am ready for the next step. 

Im gonna take LSD

[helliontherapscallion]

Scientia Potentia Est (Adrenaline Junkie Part 10)

Part 1     Part 2     Part 3     Part 4     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8     Part 9     Part 11     Part 12     Part 13     Part 14     Part 15     Part 16     Part 17

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: slight PTSD, mentions of death/dying, some description of injury/scars, slight panic attack

Word count: 2,734

(A/N): how are yall liking the story so far? 

You were woken up by the obnoxious chirping of various songbirds right outside your window. Cracking open your heavy eyes, you glanced at the clock on your wall. 7 AM. You only got about an hour of sleep. Great. 

Groaning, you reluctantly left the beckoning warmth of your comfortable blanket cocoon and stretched out your limbs. You stood up and trudged towards your luggage that laid haphazardly in the corner of your childhood room. Awkwardly twisting your body around to take off the sensors attached to your back and sliding off the prosthetic, you put it on your bed. Pulling out a random shirt and pants without giving them any real thought, you shambled off to the bathroom to shower and preen your wing. 

You stood under the warm running water for a while just doing nothing but trying to wake yourself up. The steam drifted idly throughout the room as you stepped out of the shower and finished your morning routine. You still felt dead inside even after your refreshing shower. Is this what Philza felt like in the mornings? Is this what death feels like? Oh wait. You already knew what dying felt like, you’ve died twice already and you had the scars to prove it. 

The scar on the right side of your back remained prominent and very noticable, but it faded slightly around the edges. The other scar that stretched across your cheek and stretched down to your stomach was new. They were red and raised. You remembered how you got them like it was yesterday. You, your brothers, your nephew, and Tubbo were following Eret still celebrating your win. You all completely trusted him, he was your teammate after all. Trusting him was a mistake. It was foolish. That power hungry bastard blew up everything you and your brothers built and worked for. He was a traitor to L’manberg. Everyone present lost a life in the explosion.

You shuddered, remembering the explosion. You remembered the feeling of extreme heat on your skin and the deafening boom that left a ringing in your ears. You remembered laying on the ground several feet away from your brothers’ corpses. You were the last to die that day. Everything hurt as you laid there slowly bleeding out from the deep gash running from under your eye to your midsection. The plumes of smoke floated up towards the sunny sky as everything burned around you. You hoped you would suffocate from smoke inhalation before you would bleed out again. The flames licked at your skin, almost taunting you with your oncoming death. Why couldn’t you have died instantly like everyone else? Why did you always have to die painfully?

A soft knock snapped you out of your thoughts. Looking down, you realized that you were clutching the side of the sink so hard that your knuckles were turning white. 

“(Y/n), are you in there?” It was Arthur. What was he doing up so early?

You wiped at the tears that had gathered in your eyes and cleared your throat. “Y-yeah buddy. I’ll be out in a second.”

You turned on the water faucet and splashed some cold water in your face. It somewhat worked for the blotchiness and redness, but your eyes were still puffy. You were just going to have to get out of the bathroom and pray that Arthur and Philza won’t notice. You took a deep breath and opened the door. There Arthur stood looking at you happily.

“What’re ya doing up so early bud?”

“My brother said that I’m a morning person.”

Brother?

Despite your confusion, you did your best to grin at him. “Well, early bird, do you wanna help me make breakfast?”

His eyes lit up with excitement and he jumped up and down slightly. “Yes please! I love cooking, Mama and Papa would always let me help!”

Oh, you absolutely hated not knowing something. You needed to have that chat with him as soon as you could. 

You smirked. “C’mon then, lets go get started!”

He sprinted down the hallway and towards the stairs. You felt a slight panic flare up inside of you. “Arthur, please don’t run down the stairs!”

To your great relief, he listened and slowed down to a brisk walking speed. You speedwalked over to him. For someone so little, he was surprisingly fast. By the time you reached the bottom of the stairs, he was already in the kitchen. 

In the kitchen, Philza was sitting at the table with a steaming cup of coffee in his hands. As per usual, he looked like he’d rather go back to sleep. You walked over to the coffee maker and poured yourself a cup, you were going to need it. Philza’s tired eyes followed you as you poured the steaming liquid into your mug.

“Tired?” His voice was raspier and deeper than usual.

“Yeah, didn’t get much sleep last night.” You sipped at the bitter drink before wrinkling your nose and stirring in an ungodly amount of sugar. Sipping it again, you sighed in content. That was much better. 

You walked to the chest and pulled out some bacon strips, eggs, and bread. Setting them on the counter, you turned to Arthur. He was standing on his tiptoes trying to clearly see over the counter. You chuckled, pulling a chair out from the table and dragging it over to him so he could stand on it. 

“Don’t get too excited kid, we have to wash our hands first. Then we can get to the fun part.”

Arthur scrambled over to the sink, pulling his chair along with him. Though he was extremely excited, he actually took the time to properly wash his hands. Once you both were clean, you both got to cooking. You let him scramble the eggs and butter the toast while you did the rest of the work. You didn’t want him to get burned, especially by the bacon grease. 

Cooking was quickly done with Arthur’s help and before you knew it, breakfast was already halfway done. Over the course of eating, Philza was slowly waking up and adding his own input into the conversation. You were hardly paying attention when Arthur asked you a question.

“Hey, (y/n), where’s your wing?” 

“Hm?”

“The fake one.”

Your eyes widened. Shit, you forgot to put it back on after your shower. You suddenly felt every single little touch on your amputated wing. The chair, a light breeze from the open window, the brush of feathers from your complete wing, everything. You felt vulnerable and naked without it on. You felt powerless. 

“Oh, I- must’ve forgot to put it back on again. Excuse me.”

You stood up from your chair, a screech resounding from the legs scratching against the floor. Taking care of your half-eaten breakfast, you tried to hurry up to your room as fast as you could scolding yourself the entire way for being so forgetful. So stupid. 

You locked the door behind you and saw your silver wing laying on your bed staring at you, as if taunting you for leaving it behind. You rushed to put it back on. Though you felt your muscles tense up because of the sudden cool, it felt incredibly relieving to have your wing back on. You felt whole. 

You awkwardly twisted around to fasten the leather belts around the base of your amputated wing and attach the sensors back onto specific spots on your back where your flight muscles were. You put one on your deltoid, one on your trapezius, one on both teres muscles, one on your infraspinatus, and lastly two on your latissimus dorsi muscle. It usually took you at least thirty minutes of testing the prosthetic’s movements and moving the sensors around slightly to get the placement of the sensors exactly correct, so you assumed that breakfast was over and done with ten minutes ago. 

Your wing was finally connected and fully functional, so you left your room in search for Arthur. You eventually found him in the basement in your old workshop looking through your filing cabinet of blueprints. He mustn't have heard you come down the stairs because he didn’t react. He just kept looking through your old papers, pulling a few out and putting them on a nearby crafting table. 

“Arthur?”

He jumped, the paper he was in the middle of pulling out slipped back into its place inside the filing cabinet. He didn’t turn around to face you at first, so you thought that he was just trying to catch his breath from your little scare. Feeling bad, you walked closer and put a tentative hand on his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry for scaring you. What’re ya doin?”

“I-I’m looking at your old inventions, Philza let me come down here to look at them while he tried to find me more clothes I could wear that fit.”

“Buddy, you should’ve waited until I put my wing back on, I could’ve shown you my prized inventions.”

He looked down to his feet. “I’m sorry (y/n), I just really wanted to see them and you were taking so long. I couldn’t wait.”

You frowned, putting a finger under his chin and making him look at you. You saw guilt darkening his eyes. “Arthur, never say sorry for wanting knowledge. Knowledge is perhaps our greatest weapon against the unknown in the universe. I want you to remember the phrase ‘scientia potentia est’.”

He sniffled. “Scientia… potentia est?”

“Yes, it means ‘knowledge is power’. Knowledge and power are two very… wide subjects, which is why I like the phrase. In a way, it means that you could pull off anything with knowledge. A lot of inventors live by that motto. Personally, it’s a motto that I swear by. Having knowledge gets me out of a lot of sticky situations,” you kindly smiled at him. “Now, do you want me to show you how my prosthetic works? I could even show you the first prototype if you’d like.”

To your delight, the smile that you often saw him wearing quickly returned and he nodded vigorously. You could get used to people wanting to know how your inventions work and why they worked the way that they did. You spent the next two hours explaining and answering questions about your prosthetic. You let him hold and examine your old leather wing. You showed him how the sensors were placed and warned him that if they were even very very slightly off, the wing wouldn’t work right. You even let him craft a sensor with you. 

“So, do you have any interest in being an inventor when you grow up?”

“Yes, I wanna be just like you! You’re like, the bestest inventor ever!”

You took a deep breath, kneeling in front of him and placing your hands on his shoulders. “Arthur, would you like to become my protégé?”

He scrunched up his face and squinted his eyes in confusion. “Your what?”

You lightly laughed. “Do you know what an apprentice is?” He shook his head. “Well, I want to take you under my wing. Teach you everything I know.”

His eyes comically stretched and his mouth gaped open and closed like a fish out of water. If it were possible, you’d imagine stars shining in his eyes. “You’d do that?”

“Naturally. You’re perhaps the most ambitious person I’ve ever met in terms of your goals, and at such a young age too. I’ve never met anybody besides fellow innovators that actually wants to know how my inventions are made. It’s refreshing in a sense. Would you accept me being your mentor?”

“I- yes! Yes, yes! A million, no, a billion times yes! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” He cheered, squealing with delight and jumping up and down. 

You laughed. “Woah there bud, cool your jets. We have work to do, but first…” you sighed. You really didn’t want to ruin his moment, but you needed to talk to him about this if he were to become your apprentice.

He cocked his head to the side, eyes still wide with excitement. “First what?” “First… we need to talk. About your story, I mean.”

“What do you mean? We are talking.”

“No, not like that. We need to talk about your family. And how you want me to help you with The Warden.”

He visibly deflated, you didn’t think it was possible for someone to change moods so quickly. It was almost unnatural how fast he switched emotions. “Oh… Do we have to?”

“Yes, Arthur. We have to trust each other if we’re gonna work together.”

He shifted on the balls of his feet and fiddled with his thumbs. He looked very anxious to talk about his family.

“If you want, I can show you where I go to relax and think. Would you like that?”

He nodded and wiped at his eyes. You grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs. Since Philza was out, you wrote him a little note and put it on the table where he should see it right away if he came back before you two. You grabbed your satchel and filled it with two glass vials of water, a few snacks, and a blanket. Arthur just stared at you confusedly. 

You led him outside and hesitated. Should you ask him if he wanted to fly? It would be a lot faster to get there. “Arthur, would you like to fly there? I know it’s scary, but once you get used to it it’s so much fun!”

He reluctantly nodded, so you bent over and wrapped your arms around him to pick him up. You felt him tense up as you prepped for take off. “Hold on tight, I promise I won’t drop you.”

You pushed yourself off from the ground with a powerful flap of your wings causing Arthur to shriek in surprise. You and Arthur shot into the sky at a moderate speed. When you steadied yourself high above the treeline, you looked down at the boy in your arms. He had his eyes tightly closed and he was shaking slightly. “Arthur, you can open your eyes now.”

You watched as he peeked one of his eyes open and looked at you, you smiled encouragingly at him. “Go ahead, look around.” He observed his surroundings with caution before he opened his other eye. He was looking around in amazement, taking in every single detail from a bird’s eye view. You snorted before redirecting your attention back to flying. You needed to pay attention, especially when you had a passenger that would carry on your legacy after you die. 

The flight went by with Arthur giggling at various mobs below and sometimes pointing out something he thought was interesting to you. Your destination was now several meters ahead of you. Landing, you set Arthur down steadying him when he stumbled a little.

You took out the blanket and spread it across the grassy ground, smoothing it out. You beckoned Arthur to sit down next to you on it and you two overlooked the boundless expanse of the grassy plains. 

“This is where I came up with most of my inventions. It’s where I first tested my prosthetic. There’s where I jumped off.”

“How’d you know it worked?”

“I didn’t before I tested it. Looking back, it was stupid of me to do. Never, ever, do what I did.”

“What if-”

“No what if’s. Consult me before you test out anything dangerous in the future. I mean it, Arthur.”

“But I want to be like you.”

“Trust me kid, you don’t wanna be exactly like me. Besides, you’re you. You’re not (y/n) Minecraft. You’re Arthur Fox. You’re your own person and it’s important for you to understand that. Never let anyone take that away from you.”

He fell silent as he contemplated your words. You assumed that nobody’s ever told him that before, both due to his young age and potential lack of adult figures in his life. 

“Artie, you can tell me about your life when you’re ready. Take as much time as you need, we still have half the day left before we have to start heading back.”

He wordlessly nodded, turning his gaze to stare blankly past the cliff. In the meantime, you would wait patiently until he felt comfortable telling you.

Taglist (comment if you want to be added): 

@acecarddraws  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @ravennightingaleandavatempus  @dirtydiavolo  @yeiras-world  @immadatmostthings  @hee-hee-haw  @jackalopedoodles  @m1lkmandan  @vanhakirja  @im-a-depressed-gay  @coolleviauchihadreamerlove  @questioning-sanity  @camisascam

@bongwaterflavoredgatorade  @kakamiissad  @jayistrash4  @lifestylesleep  @speedymaximoff  @sun-shark-tooth  @appetiteofapeoplepleaser  @lestrangenymph  @kinismanditory  @dragons-lurk-here  @rinzyx05  @the-wandering-pan-ace  @sparkling-gayyyy  @angelic-scent  @shinipii  @dont-hug-me-im-a-fander  @izzydimensional  @used-avocado  @laura--444  @wing-non  @lovely-echoo  @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual  @mysteryartisticwriter

[talkfastromance4]

The Click-- Calum Hood (soulmate!au)

It’s here! I’ve never written soulmate stuff before so this is probably really different from what you’ve normally read, and it’s different from what I normally write but this really has a part of my heart in it.  Inspired by Lang Leav’s wonderful works (the poems up above) and some weird instances I’ve been having.

Word count: 5.6k

Warnings: none, no smut whatsoever (I know who am I?)

Son inspiration: Then I saw You by Tatiana Manois and Surrender by Natalie Taylor

donate to my ko-fi here :)

Masterlist

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. *copyright is listed at bottom*

• • • •

Two strangers both alike in mind have a book propped open with words inked in of love and heartbreak and other musings. They are alike because they mark their favorite poems by dog ears and highlights with little scrawls of their own thoughts scratched into the margins.

Late night for her, early morning for him as they’re on two different sides of the country, it’s not just miles that separate them, but the day and night. The moon comforts her and is her light as she reads of a love shared between two poets. The sun is his friend and a warm embrace as he delves deeper and deeper into the pages of the same love but tinged with an air of sophisticated provocativeness.

While on their Spotify playlists, the same artists and songs are shared between the two. Music and lyrics, words, and prose, two hearts longing for the same thing. 

A love to be written about, a love to be shared, an adventurous love that is unique because it is their own. In both their minds, that kind of love doesn’t seem tangible. To be added to their likeness, they’re both the only single ones amongst their friends and have been for a while. 

Calum showered his friends in love, giving his friends small gifts and helping in any way that he could. He was always down for a good time, sharing laughs and making memories. Rose was the same, she enjoyed being with her friends and family. 

In the daylight they appeared fine and well put together but going home to an empty house in a lonely bed is where they felt the weight of their ache. Sometimes it kept them both up, reading their poetry books or writing their own. His were songs while hers were just words but the premise was the same, dreaming of love. 

She received an opportunity of a lifetime to go to school for her writing. A quiet dream she’d held safe in the privacy of her own mind. It was thrilling yet terrifying moving to a whole new city, the city of angels. Her best friend stayed with her for a week helping her adjust in her new albeit small studio apartment.

It was a steal that was right above a coffee bookshop, a place where she’d also received a job. When she wouldn’t be in school, she’d be working to help pay for rent. While she unpacked and decorated her place, she kept pinching herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. 

When her classes started, she was up by 4 a.m. because of her nerves and her excitement, it bundled up inside her. She ran through her schedule three times, checked her bag that she had the right textbooks and her small laptop.

She read her favorite poems until it was time for her first class. The owner of the shop already had her coffee made to her liking with a cranberry orange muffin already in a bag. 

“Thanks Teresa,” she smiles, taking the goodies.

“Have a great first day! Do you want a picture with your bag?” Teresa is a kind, thirty-something year old woman. She’s living her dream owning a coffee bookshop and has the kindest smile. 

“I’m okay, don’t need a reminder I’m starting with kids fresh outta high school.”

“You’re not that much older, twenty-five is still young, Rose,” Teresa smiles. “Enjoy it.”

“Thank you,” she smiles then waves with her pinky. 

Her first day of classes is just how she thought they’d be, the awkward introductions that she rehearsed in her head before speaking, going through the itinerary for the semester and then reading a few chapters and taking some notes. Rose loved every minute of it. 

During lunch and her breaks, she reread through each itinerary again and bookmarks the pages in her textbook she’ll be needing. In between that, she reads her poetry book and jots down a few of her own thoughts. 

Then, the day is done and she starts her four hour shift at the bookshop that would last until closing time at 9:30. Rose quickly discovered that this would be a very easy job because it didn’t get a rush of people for dinner. 

Some other students she passed on campus would stop in with a friend and share a cup of coffee or tea. By 7:30 there were only a couple of people scattered about the shop, books, or tablets in front of them as the soft indie music played throughout. 

Rose gathers her books into her bag behind the counter before she moves to the bookshelf wall to restock the books left on the small wooden tables. She finds herself humming along to a song she knows when there’s a commotion outside.

The other guests inside turn to look as well through the windows framed in the purple and blue twilight shade to see a couple. They’re the source of the noise as both their voices rise over the other and when he throws his arms in the air that’s when Rose turns back to her task.

Clearly whatever was happening outside was a private moment and Rose couldn’t help but smile at the irony of the saying ‘outside looking in’ while she’s inside but was just looking into their outside debacle. Her mind always thinks of outlandish things like that, she calls it her circle thinking because she can run with the same thought over and over. 

It doesn’t make sense to others, but it does to her.

After a few moments, she glanced outside, and the couple was gone. The streetlights had flickered on and she could see stars poking through the darkened sky. She hopes she’ll see the moon upstairs. 

After the last guest leaves, she locks the door and sweeps up the shop, wipes down tables and locks the cash drawer in the small vault in the back. She checks that the back door is locked after tossing the garbage out quickly and runs upstairs to her studio apartment. She makes a cup of hot cocoa before bed and reads and writes into her favorite poetry book, her journal next to her. 

The hot cocoa made her sleepy and she fell fast asleep with her book atop her chest. She dreamed of someone that held a powerful connection with her, he understood her and made her smile. By morning, the dream slipped away with the stars and she started her new routine over again. 

***

Calum’s fingers tap impatiently on the laminate surface of the table as he sat through this meeting. It was mundane but necessary that he be here because the band had decided to take a year off. The world is still in recovery from the pandemic and they agreed collectively to hold off on anything until there was some decent footing again. 

He’s been in a bit of a mood since he and Zoe fought a few weeks ago after having dinner. They weren’t exclusive, only seeing each other on occasion and that night she brought up soulmates. She was almost nagging at him that he wasn’t hers and that they were wasting their time when he reminded her, she was the one to call him. 

He hasn’t heard from her since. 

His mind wandered throughout, thinking of ways he can occupy the next 365 days when he wasn’t writing music. Music is his life; it’s always been a constant and has pulled him through some tough situations and has uplifted him in joyous ones. On the TV stuck to the wall there was a news report scanning at the bottom that the university not too far from his home has the highest enrollment rate.

That piques his interest. He reads the closed caption below the broadcaster as it says open enrollment has become the new norm, welcoming students from all ages to attend. This information strikes a chord within Calum and he’s found what he wants to do with his year off. 

When the meeting had finally finished, Calum decided to head over to the university and see if he could still enroll. The semester started only a few weeks ago but with this new window of free time, he’s sure he could catch up. 

Enrolling turned out to be easy. He had a meeting with a counselor to discuss what his intentions were and if there was any specific study he wanted to get into. He selected creative writing and psychology, bought his books, got his schedule and he was officially a college student. 

The night before his first class, Calum is restless. He tosses. He turns. He stares out the window of his room, the moon winking at him through the small opening of the curtain. Duke is snoring softly to his left and Calum’s mind is racing. 

Thoughts tumble over one another, scenarios flash across his mind and then he hears a random melody in his head that sounds too familiar and it helps him drift off to sleep. 

***

Calum is racing to get to his first class, he didn’t wake up to his alarm until thirty minutes after the intended time and he blamed it all on a dream. A dream that felt so real he thought the woman in his subconscious was still speaking to him in his ear. 

He threw on the first article of clothing his fingers touched, gargled with mouthwash, and shoved a beanie on his head. Regrettably, he didn’t have time to stop for coffee and he hoped there would be some sold on campus somewhere. 

Calum just got settled into his seat at the back of the lecture when the Professor stood at the front and began to speak. Thankfully, Calum retrieved notes from the three weeks he missed and read them all weekend, so he picked up easily with what the Professor is talking about. 

He smiles to himself, maybe he is cut out for school. 

Calum is surprised how drained he feels after his first day. His head is swimming with new knowledge and he’s anxious to get home and get to work. On his walk back to the parking structure where his car is parked, he sees the coffee bookshop he and Zoe fought in front of almost a month ago. 

The sign above the bay window reads ‘CBS’ and in smaller print below that it reads ‘coffee bookshop’ and he smiles at the simple cleverness. He remembers Ashton has gone in there a few times and said the coffee is great. Calum makes a promise to himself that he’ll stop there tomorrow morning before class to grab a cup.

His night is spent reading over the homework and answering a few of the discussion questions while Duke sat in his lap. Calum tried writing down the lyrics of the song he heard this morning, but he couldn’t distinguish what they were. To wind down, he had his favorite Michael Faudet book propped on his stomach as he read through each page.

He reads through his own writing; his words transport him to that point in time when the words flowed out of him effortlessly. One poem resonates in his mind as he reads about love being compared to that of a rose and the lilting melody from this morning trickled into his ears again and he instantly relaxed. His mind quieted and his eyelids felt heavy as he replayed the same simple notes over and over. 

A beautiful melody without any words.

The loud vibration of his phone woke him up before the actual song did, but he leapt out of bed immediately. The promise of a hot cup of coffee egged him on to take a shower and dress in something nicer than a wrinkled band shirt he had on yesterday. 

Traffic wasn’t that bad, and he parked his car on the first level of the structure and he still had forty-five minutes until his first class. Today is shaping up to be the start of a good one and just as he locks his phone so he can open the door of the CBS, he collides with a body. 

Books go flying. His phone clutters to the ground and he panics at the fatality that could be evident in the million cracks of his screen. Rushed ‘sorry’s’ are exchanged between him and the stranger as they scramble to gather their things. Their bodies twist away from each other as he shoves his books and pens back into his bag. 

When he stands to apologize again, she’s already bustling away, her red scarf blowing behind her in the morning breeze. He sighs then heads inside to examine his phone, but he looks back again to try and get a glimpse of her face. She’s already gone. While they were scrambling to get their belongings, he noted how the smell of coconuts, vanilla, and something else he couldn’t put his finger on, invaded his nostrils. It made him think of the ocean.

He examines his phone to find there isn’t a scratch on it and when he unlocks it there’s a picture of the poem he read last night. Roses. The girl he bumped into smelled of roses. 

***

Rose is having an off day. Her alarm didn’t even go off and she put in a generous amount of dry shampoo in her hair but resulted in putting on a hat. She didn’t even have time to get her coffee and muffin from Teresa for she rushed out the front door and collided with some guy. 

Without her coffee it was hard for her to focus and when she got called on in class, she had to ask the professor to repeat the question because she didn’t hear it. Then her laptop crashed, and she couldn’t work on an assignment that’s due by Friday. 

By the time she made it to CBS, she didn’t want to work her shift. Customers were being needy and rude and all she wanted to do was take a hot shower and read. After eating a quick microwave dinner, Rose took a hot shower then turned on her favorite playlist titled ‘Blue’ for moments like this. 

She opens her bag to grab her poetry book, ‘The Universe of Us’ but finds its exact counterpart of Lang Leav; Michael Faudet’s book ‘Cult of Two’ lays on her table. 

Did she put that in her bag by mistake? 

It was a rough morning so it is possible, but she could have sworn she grabbed the book from her bedside table. Sighing, Rose takes the book to place it back on her shelf then becomes more confused when she sees the same book in her hands, perched snugly on the shelf with her other poetry books. 

Rose knows she only has one copy, so where did this one come from and where is her book? She tosses the white paperback onto her bed and empties her whole bag, checking each book twice. How could she have lost it? It’s always buried safely in the bottom of her bag and she didn’t take it out all day except--

Rose gasps. This morning when she was leaving the shop she bumped into a guy and all their belongings went flying. She must have grabbed his book by mistake, and he grabbed hers. Panic sets in, she’s written down some of her innermost thoughts in that book, personal things.

Now this random stranger has her soul in his hands, and she might never see him again. With angry tears in her eyes she crawls into bed while Lewis Capaldi’s voice thrums around her walls. Needing comfort, she opens the strangers’ book then snaps it shut just as fast because there’s handwriting on the pages. 

Just like hers.

***

Calum is reading about the red string of fate. After that run in with the girl outside CBS a month ago, he read through her book and became transfixed with those words she wrote down. He knows he shouldn’t have read her thoughts, but once he started, he couldn’t stop. Clearly the poetry captivated her, but her words captivated him.

The red string of fate is a Japanese legend meant to tie soulmates together by their pinkies. No matter the circumstance, the time or place, the two will always find each other. It may stretch and it may tangle but it will never break. He’s never heard of it before now, but he’s become obsessed with the idea of it. 

Every morning he’s stopped by CBS to see if he’ll run into her again so he can return her book, but he’s never seen her. His classes are going well and he’s learning so much, his creativity is overflowing. Much of that is because of this girl’s book. 

Its spine is overly creased from endless love of reading, some words are highlighted and circled. Pages are dog eared on what he assumes are her favorite poems. Calum smiled the first time he paged through it all because he’s written in his book as well. He wonders if she’s read any of his musings yet. 

“Bro, I haven’t seen you without that book. Where’s yours?” Ashton asks while they’re out for lunch. 

“Um, I lost it actually. I bumped into this girl outside the CBS and our things scattered everywhere. We switched books,” Calum explains flipping the pages. “She writes it in like I do.”

“You read it? Mate,” Ashton sighs exasperatedly, “that’s an invasion of privacy.”

“I know, I know! But I can’t get enough of it. She’s smart and passionate in what she writes. I wish I got a better look at her when I bumped into her so I could return it.”

“There’s no name inside?”

“Nope. She could be in one of my classes for all I know,” Calum sighs then picks away at the corner of the cover. “What was it like when you and Ruby found each other?”

Ruby is Ashton’s soulmate and they’ve been together for almost two years now. Calum remembers the change in Ashton when she came into his life, he was lighter. 

“I heard her voice in my head.”

“What did she say?”

Ashton smiles, “My name.”

“Then how did you find her?”

“I don’t know, it’s hard to explain,” Ashton’s brows crease. “It was only a few days after I heard her voice that I knew her name. It came to me out of the blue. Do you remember anything about her?”

“She had on this red scarf and smelled like a rose.” Calum suddenly felt a wave of dizziness swim in his head and he held onto his temples.

“You okay?” Ashton reaches over as if to help but he’s not sure what’s happening to his friend. 

“Woah, that was weird, I got super dizzy,” Calum says blinking a few times until he can see straight again. He removes his fingers from his temples and Ashton is giving him a funny look. “What?”

“What did she smell like again?” he leans forward.

“A rose, why--fuck!” the wave of dizziness crashes into him again and it’s like his brain is spinning in his head. When his vision returns Ashton is smiling gleefully. “Glad to see you enjoy my pain.”

“Don’t you see?! You got vertigo as soon as you said rose. That must be her name.”

“Really? Is that what happened when you said Ruby’s name?”

“Yeah basically, but it wasn’t this strong. She must be close,” Ashton looks around him as if she’ll appear out of thin air. “I suggest going to CBS morning and night, she’s gotta be there at some point.”

***

Rose is flicking through the pages of the new poetry book she acquired. Curiosity killed the cat and she just had to dig her claws between the pages because she’s sure he’s already done the same or will soon enough. 

Some of his thoughts left her breathless and with an odd familiar feeling at the way it’s structured. Some of his sentences seem more like lyrics that she’s heard before but can never find the tune that goes with it.

She hadn’t been feeling well this morning, nausea and dizziness made her skip her classes and she laid in bed all day. It would come and go throughout the day and right before bed she drew herself a bubble bath with some candles. The flickering light created the perfect ambience while she read Faudet’s words and the mysterious stranger. 

Where her notes are written in paragraphs or stanzas, his are scattered about the page. Sometimes she has to turn the book to read it upside down. The curse words make her laugh and sometimes there’s a fun little drawing. 

It isn’t until she reaches the last few pages and she’s reading about a blue angel and knocking back a shot when she stumbles on a name that is not the author. It’s a name she’s heard before, a name she’s known of and has seen floating around her social media.

“Calum Hood,” she mumbles, and she instantly becomes dizzy again. It happens so fast it startles her, and she nearly drops the book into the bubbles. Somehow in her bewilderment she managed to let it flop onto the bathroom floor. 

The bathwater and bubbles slosh over the sides as she reaches for the book again. Did she read that right? Her fingers leave dark, pudgy circles on the pages as she goes to that page again. 

“Calum,” she breathes, and the room spins again causing her to drop the book once more. “Okay, okay, okay, okay. . .”

Rose gets out of the bath quickly, letting the water drain noisily as she dries off and puts on her pajamas. The spinning has stopped, and she sits cross legged in the middle of her bed, the poetry book open to the poem and her phone opened to Instagram and Twitter.

She’s been an avid fan for quite a few years now and to think if he was the one, she bumped into? With her thumbs hovering over the keyboard she closes her eyes trying to remember anything about him from that morning. 

All she can remember is the rush to gather her things and his soft husky voice as he said sorry. She didn’t look at him once and it’s very possible she bumped into Calum Hood. Her mind racing, she texts every one of her friends that have already found their soulmates asking what and how it happened. 

She needs answers because how odd is it that she’s felt dizzy and nauseous all day then sees his name, says it, and gets dizzy all over again? Is that what’s supposed to happen? Does this mean he’s been saying her name all this time as well? 

Her friends' responses were pretty much the same. In each instance they heard his or her voice in their head say their name. Why hadn’t she heard his voice? Could he hear hers? Rose unlocks her phone and searches his name, turns out he’s gone back to school. The same school she’s attending but it doesn’t say what he’s studying, which is good because it must be annoying having everyone know what’s going on in your life. 

Rose falls back onto her pillows burrowing under the covers and shuts off the light. 

“Please let me go to school tomorrow, Calum,” she huffs then turns over to hug her pillow. 

She swears she hears a ghostly laugh in her ear before sleep consumes her. 

***

“I bite back.”

Calum still hears the soft voice from his dream, he can still feel the soft brush of her lips against his ear as she said those words. He’s staring up at the ceiling replaying the dream of sitting next to a girl. In his subconscious it felt like he already knew her, and they carried a conversation well. He doesn’t remember exactly what he was saying but he can hear those three words as if she were laying right next to him. 

He greets Duke with quick kisses before letting him outside and Calum washes his face, brushes his teeth, and gets dressed. After he brings Duke in, Calum gathers his bags making sure The Universe of Us is right at the top. 

He’s been going to CBS early each morning so he can sit and try to watch for the girl he bumped into. He has one cup of coffee and reads through her pages until it’s time to go for class. A few times he thought he recognized her, but the girl in question always turned out to be just a fan and wanted a quick chat and photo. 

They never smelled like roses, so he knew it wasn’t her.

After his final sip of coffee, he flips to a page with the title ‘The One’ and he immediately goes to the girl’s handwritten words. 

‘And I want you to be the one for me. The one who brings out my storm but also calms the waves. I want you to be my perfect counterpart. Is my red string frayed?’

Calum smiles at the last sentence. He wishes he could tell her that no, it isn’t frayed and he’s trying his damndest to find her. He gathers his things and heads out the door because his first class is starting in fifteen minutes.

Just as he walked out the door, if he would have waited one more minute, Rose came by his table and cleaned up his dishes to help Teresa out before she went on her way to class. 

“How are you feeling today Rose?” Teresa asks, taking the dirty dishes from her. 

“A little better,” Rose shrugs, “I can’t miss two days. Are you sure it’s alright I can switch my shift from tonight to tomorrow?”

“Of course. You need to catch up on what you missed, Colbie will cover for you. Take it easy, you still look a little pale,” Teresa frowns. 

“I’ll be fine, but thank you,” Rose smiles then waves. “I’ll see you later.”

***

The day runs as normal for them both. Calum has felt this growing energy within him as if something is about to happen, but he can’t quite put his finger on it. He’s been looking at every woman he passes waiting to see if there’s a connection or a siren that will go off as if to say “that’s her! That’s her!” but he comes up short. 

Rose still feels a little queasy throughout the day and she’s distracted because all she wants to do is read Calum’s poetry book to try and find another connection. 

When the school day is over, she sets up her workspace at her favorite table by the bookshelf in a large, plush chair. Her own latte sits next to her while she quickly does her homework and opens the book. From the corner of her eye a tall figure sits in the chair on the other side of the table. She pays it no mind until there’s a loud crash.

The stranger knocked her cup to the floor, and it shattered, white foam and coffee filling up the grooves in the tile. 

“Shit, I’m sorry--”

“It’s okay,” she says automatically. 

They both reach for the largest fragment of broken cup; their pinkies touch and Rose feels something click inside her. Her skin is hot where he touches her, and with her heart pounding like a thousand horses running, she looks up. 

He knew who she was before he looked into her eyes, when they came in such proximity, he smelled the roses and the coconut and the vanilla. When their pinkies touched, he felt a spark shoot up his veins, that’s the siren he’s been waiting for and when he looked into her eyes? Everything clicked into place.

“Rose?”

“Calum?”

They both laugh nervously, their pinkies still touching. Rose feels her cheeks warm and Calum can’t stop smiling at her. After their small moment, they clean up the mess of the broken cup and sit back in their respective chairs. 

“I think this is yours,” she holds out his book that she was currently reading. 

“And I believe--” he pulls out her book from his bag holding it up “--this is yours.”

Having it in her possession again makes it feel like a lost limb has been returned home. Calum flips through his own book noticing the wrinkled pages. He knows she read it and he’s so glad she’s the one who did. He watches her rifle through the pages, soft fingers tracing over words that have been printed and words she’s inked in herself. 

“You’re a wonderful writer,” he comments, and her eyes flash up to him.

“You are too, but you’re a musician so that’s no surprise,” she giggles, and Calum loves the sound. 

Talking comes easily between Calum and Rose, but how could it not when they’re soulmates? As the night gets longer and the shop is about to close, Rose invites him up for some tea and he gladly accepts. 

While she’s setting up the kettle, he examines her bookshelf, some books he’s read, and others grab his attention that he wants to ask her about. Soft music fills the room and he smiles because this is on one of his playlists as well.

“How do you like your tea?” she asks, and Calum moves back to the kitchen area. 

“Little bit of milk and honey and some sugar,” he smiles, watching her add the ingredients.

Their fingers brush again when he accepts the cup from her, another spark ignites but it starts a different type of warmth. Calum becomes very aware of both their actions. He’s aware of how close she sits next to him on the couch, he’s aware of the way she licks her lips and how badly he wants to kiss them. 

“So, this is . . . a little crazy, right?” she laughs awkwardly, her finger circling the rim of the mug. “How did you find me? Did you hear my voice? Because I didn’t hear yours.”

“What did you experience then?” he asks, setting his mug on the small table in front of them. 

“I was home for a whole day because I just felt really dizzy and nauseous, then when I was taking a bath and reading your book, I saw your name, said it out loud and had another dizzy spell. I think I dreamed of you, too. . .” her brows furrowed in confusion.

Calum tries not to let her small tidbit of information that she was in the bath when she said his name get to him, but he knows exactly what she’s talking about. He was at home playing with Duke when he felt another wave of dizziness hit, it came upon him so fast that he practically fell onto the couch. It felt different then when he said her name, it was stronger. 

“I’m sorry, when I discovered your name, I kept saying it,” he admits fiddling with one of his rings. 

“How’d you find out my name?” 

“I was talking with my friend, Ashton and I told him about the day we collided and how you smelled like a rose. You know what’s funny? When we said each other’s name downstairs I didn’t feel dizzy, did you?”

“No, I didn’t,” she shakes her head then looks at him, “what does that mean?”

“I--” he stops short when the song shifts, and he gasps. “I’ve had this melody stuck in my head for weeks, is this you singing?”

“Absolutely not,” Rose laughs and rises from the couch to turn it up on her phone. “It calms me down, so I play it a lot. What was--oh!”

She spun around and Calum was standing right in front of her. She didn’t realize how tall he is until right now and the scent of his cologne and laundry detergent reminds her of a home she’s come back to. 

“I have an idea as to why we didn’t hear each other’s voices,” he says, stepping even closer. 

“What’s that?” Rose licks her lips.

“We feel things, and instead of vocalizing them, we write them down or listen to it in music,” he tucks her hair behind her ear. “Even the books we read the authors are in love.”

Rose chuckles at that. “Yeah, what are the odds they’re our favorites?”

“Pretty high, since we were made for each other,” he smiles. His fingers tickle her cheek as he tilts her head up, her eyes are shining, and the smell of roses invades his senses. He inches his mouth closer to hers, “I’m ready to surrender to this, Rose.”

She nods and closes the small space between their lips and it’s as if everything stops. The only thing she can feel are his soft, warm lips on hers, the calluses of his fingers on her cheek and the way his other hand wraps around her waist. He pulls her close and she grabs hold of his shirt, kissing him is like a breath of fresh air. 

He pulls her even closer, chest against chest and she gasps at the movement but welcomes his tongue excitedly. They kiss feverishly, as if this is the only time they have. But they have many more days and many more moments to make memories of. 

They’re breathing heavily when they break the kiss, she feels him smile against her lips and gives her two soft pecks. 

“Calum?”

“Hmm?” his thumb strokes her cheek affectionately.

“You made my world stop spinning.”

• • • •

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[deathbydarkelves]

I decided to make playlists for Cathala and Tarinne plus explanations for why I chose each song because I entered one of those ADHD fugue states and if I didn't finish this task I would die

Anyway here are the two links (they're youtube playlists because I don't have spotify. I would obviously recommend using an adblocker if you're just gonna watch on youtube) and the explanations for each song are below the cut :) Each playlist is about an hour long.

For Tarinne’s:

1. Foggy Nights: I consider this her theme so putting it first as a sort of intro only makes sense.

2. Here’s a Health to the Company: I think this works as an example of her general disposition. She’s a people person, and always a fan of singing these sorts of songs in taverns, on ships, or what have you. It also kind of feels like a sendoff to soldiers, which I imagine symbolizes her joining the Sentinel Army and quickly thereafter fighting in the Third War.

3. Wartime Prayers: Somewhat self-explanatory, this is symbolizing her seeing war for the first time, but I also included it because the last line transitions SO WELL into the next song.

4. The Hollow: This song is an intro to an album I've never heard so I don't know the context, but I really love it because it sounds like someone praying to their deity and like I mean c'mon. Elune. Tarinne's praying to Elune to guide her through the war. Do I need to elabo-

5. Wave Walker: KILL DEATH MAIM AHAHAHAHA

6. Isil Elun’falo: Just a super rad fan-made night elf song that's basically "wow we sure do love Elune" said in twenty different ways for four and a half minutes. But it ROCKS and I LOVE it.

7. Chewing Cotton Wool: This song is about losing a loved one (I did have to check but yeah that's what it is) and I use it to symbolize Tarinne losing her mom during the war. The last line, which includes the song's title, I especially like. It's referring to how morticians (apparently) put cotton gauze in a corpse's throat and mouth to keep body fluids in and make the face look more natural. So there's a fun fact for you.

8. See U Soon (Song for Dad): Just a short lofi piece to rest a bit, and it was also chosen because the title's in reference to Tarinne growing closer to her dad after losing her mom. She still visits him at his leathers and furs shop in Stormwind fairly often, especially after dangerous adventures. She just wants to make sure he knows she's alright ;-;

9. No Lullaby: Right back into it with a song that I use to represent Tarinne's general feeling of not being able to go home because it's not there anymore. She's felt like this since the end of the Third War, but it's especially strong since the whole Teldrassil thing. But I like the ending, "who said you're on your own," because it contrasts the repeating of "alone" in the rest of the song. And it's kinda like "hey, listen, you're not the only one who feels like she can't go home." I mean that's probably how basically every single night elf feels right now skxnks

10. The Moss: This song juxtaposes classic fairy tales with scientific facts about the world and I love it to BITS. I'm using it here to represent both Tarinne's love for storytelling but also her sort of... part-time historian/archaeologist/conservator career.

11. Rasputin: I just associate this song with her for some reason and this was the best place to put it.

12. Electric Feel: Moving on to focus more on Tarinne's relationship with Cathala now. This is an extremely great and somewhat 😏 song that I also included because the electricity theme is appropriate because Cathala has lightning powers and y'know it's from Tarinne's perspective or whatever.

13. Bedroom Hymns: You know why this is here.

14. Movement: I can't talk about love songs without talking about Hozier, okay. This is just a nice, slower song to relax a bit with.

15. Never Let Me Go: I have an entire goddamn music video in my head with Cathala and Tarinne for this song and it’s very dramatic and emotional and I had to include this song or I’d die. Basically just listen to near the end of this song when she's repeating the title over and over, and imagine the two of them seeing each other at opposite ends of a battlefield after the dust settles and they rush towards each other and fall to their knees holding on as tightly as they can because they got separated early on and each thought the other was dead. Then you'll know how I feel when I listen to this song.

16. Nothing That Has Happened So Far Has Been Anything We Could Control: First of all I love the title, and second of all there's a big section in the middle (1:49 to 2:47) that I like to interpret as the two of them grappling with the fact that they're not really quite sure who or what they're fighting for anymore. Their people, yeah, but there's so many alliances and semi-permanent enemies and only-on-every-other-thursday-enemies all intertwined and the world is just so very confusing and they're trying to make the best of it. Elf school didn’t include international, interracial politics in its curriculum. It did however include how to properly plant trees, and AP calculus (this is a joke).

17. In Dreams: I like to imagine this song is something the two of them would say to each other, as a way of saying “even when everything we know is gone, even when the world ends, I will still be by your side. And if I’m not, don’t fear, for I will find you.” It makes a nice note to end on :)

For Cathala’s:

1. muse: Just a nice lofi intro to get us into things :) I don't see this song as her theme, like I do with Tarinne and the first song in her playlist, but I like it quite a bit. I don't actually really have a theme for Cathala yet, I'm currently going with a version of Way of the Monk from WoW's OST but I'm still looking for something better.

2. Frogs Singing: I included this because it's about just appreciating nature, which works because night elf and also mindfulness and meditation is a whole thing.

3. Tongues: This is a song about feeling distant from your peers which is like Cathala's whole existence! She's this weird mix of two cultures and ultimately she feels out of place regardless of where she is or who she's with. Also the theme with not understanding what people are saying works because the poor woman had to learn Pandaren from scratch and that shit ain't easy. I think blizz said somewhere probably that Common is just a language that EVERYONE knows inherently because Video Game but that's bullshit in my opinion. I'll allow spells that let you understand foreign languages to an extent (Comprehend Languages from D&D lets you understand the LITERAL meaning only, which I like), but every culture and species in the universe knowing Common is silly if you think about it for more than two seconds.

4. Kung Fu Fighting: I'm legally required to include this song. Also I prefer the Kung Fu Panda version, I'm sorry.

5. Harder Better Faster Stronger: I vicariously experience having a great work ethic through Cathala and that's why this song is here because she has 999 Determination and does Too Many push-ups every day or something idk. I was gonna say "every morning" but I have a headcanon that elves only need to sleep every couple of days (sort of a nod to "elves don't need to sleep at all" from D&D, and to explain why NIGHT elves are active at all hours of the day) so that doesn't work.

6. What's Up Danger: This song is Cathala's whole Vibe. Almost zero threat assessment skills in this woman's brain. If it can be punched, she will punch it.

7. Eye for an Eye: Fairly self-explanatory, it's a song about wanting revenge so... yeah. Checked that box. It was this or The Vengeful One by Disturbed but ultimately The Vengeful One's religious symbolism probably makes it fit better as a Tyrande theme lol ("I'm the hand of god, I'm the dark messiah." Did you mean: the Night Warrior)

8. Survivor: Cathala's survived a lot of shit and this could kinda be her making fun of herself for it because "Gods, man! Don't I deserve a break!"

9. Ashes: Really the reason I include this song is the last chunk (2:42 to the end) because holy shit. Listen, if I was gonna include a song with fire motifs, it was gonna be a somber one like this.

10. Into the West: This can kinda represent Cathala just trying to fucking breathe and recover from Teldrassil. Also works because I dunno it has stuff to do with the elves in LotR, I haven't seen those movies in a while. It sounds nice and is melancholy so I included it.

11. Like Real People Do: Cathala loves Tarinne a lot you guys have I ever menti-

12. Into the Wild: Tarinne changed Cathala's world for the better and she's super fucking grateful she has her by her side. Kinda goes without saying but you know.

13. Chasing the Moon: I have a vague music video in my head for this of them falling in love and it's very cute so there's that. Also it's in this specific spot because hey she may be deeply traumatized but she's still got a fair number of things/people in her life that make her happy so :)

14. Follow My Girl: I've got a theme going in my head that while Tarinne is fairly certain of her place in the world, Cathala is still trying to find hers. She outlived all her connections on Pandaria because Elf Lifespans(tm) and the only members of her family still alive are distant relatives she never knew very well.

15. Wish That You Were Here: This works both to represent Cathala on Pandaria feeling super homesick, and for more recently after Teldrassil. Either way, it's a message to her parents and sister.

16. Mr. Fear: She does her damnedest to hide it but she's absolutely terrified something like Teldrassil's gonna happen again! That fear drives her to do everything in her power to protect who and what she can. As long as they're not Forsaken, cause she's still got her biases, that compassion even extends across faction lines. She never really got the whole Alliance/Horde thing anyway. Innocent people shouldn't have to die, regardless of who or what they are.

17. Ordinary Day: Not to get super out there but I think this song works as symbolizing Cathala really trying to hold on to her faith in Elune, but ultimately feeling pretty abandoned. I mean she can clearly see Elune's influence everywhere. But Elune sure ain't doing Cathala any favors as far as she can tell! It also ends the whole playlist on maybe a bit of an uncertain/open-ended note, because this "losing faith" aspect is a new thing with her and will definitely be something she continues to struggle with for a while. On a related note, I should say Tarinne is still very much devout but she gets what Cathala's feeling and doesn't force anything on her, and vice versa. And Cathala wouldn't become atheist, the night elves aren't monotheistic and she still worships all the other deities, it's just specifically Elune she's a little :/ on.

[mehenxe]

◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ & ღ & ♫ bc ur a slut for music ; & ✮ (i want explanaTIONS ...gET META W THIS SHIT )

◈ — share some head-canons you have for a muse of your choosing, but x4.

[ elijah kane ] ◈ — all efforts to get him into studying how to make robotics like hyacinth have resulted in a lot of miniature woodland creatures able to sprint across desks. it’s not exactly what anybody had in mind, but hey, you never know if ilya might not want to send in an actual animal for something he has going on. they can call up sugar kane industries ( big face-palm here ) to take care of the job. ( wyatt voice: seriously, you couldn’t think of anything better than sugar kane. ) / hyacinth kane has a nice ring to it. elijah has tested out several different nicknames: sugar kane also for them, mistah k, ( missus k? ), cinthy ... cindy ... ( sean: yeah! cindy k! like cindy crawford! / who the fuck is cindy crawford? / wyatt — / how old are you. ) / he’s had a life-long dream to be able to go scuba-diving off the coast of — some exotic island he can’t remember the name of. beforehand, it was one of those things that he was too afraid to do, but full-out war changes your perspective. in truth, he’s always been a water baby, growing up going swimming in the local rivers and running pellmell down the dirt lanes. he grew out of it, and then grew back into it. whether or not he’s going to be able to do that without monroe tagging along ( and then by default, ilya, and then probably hojin will want to come, and then ravi will have to, and then oliver will want to watch over them and then jinho will buy a whole yacht with his dumb vampire money — ) — ah, well, there’s worse people to spend an extended holiday with. his father will come along too: sit on the deck in a lawn chair and drink a virgin margarita as he deserves after putting up with this whole extended family. and with his son being a you-know-what.

[ alice bedi ] ◈ — there was a time where she was interested in wigs. she had percival sit down on her shack’s bed and watch as she perused through at least fifteen different styles of wigs. each one got a firm head-shake: too rough on your complexion; lilac looks good as a colour, but the style is horrid; why did they think it was a good idea to make a bob that length? a tough customer. she returned back to wearing veils, her preferred style being that of mantilla, or the veil that’s worn to chapel over a jade comb. due to the volume and length of her natural curls, she rarely wears the combs at all, but will if it’s a particularly formal occasion, like that time she accompanied percival to a ‘high-society event.’ ( translation: they crashed a party because he was bored, and she had a bad feeling about him going alone. ) / as the local librarian’s assistant, she’s the first to get in the way when someone is overtly curious: why are you asking so many questions? hmm? the irony is that she herself asks just as many questions — she insists that the difference is: she reads the room and knows when it’s inappropriate to ask them. ( and if she knows it’s inappropriate to ask them, and instead chooses to risk asking them regardless, it’s because she knows it’ll smooth out in the end. / despite what she wears daily, one of her most favourite colours is moss green. there are a multitude of reasons. moss is her favourite foliage. it’s similar to algae, another favourite foliage. and it reminds her of someone who she says is her sister; however, anybody who knows her, knows that she has no blood-siblings. one or the other might be a lie, or both might be the truth. when she’s in a mood, she’ll smear the moss at the base of her neck like a perfume, a splotch of green beneath white.

[ huang shen ] ◈ — he designed an irrigation system to work, specific to his farm, to be able to make rice paddies despite the surrounding environment. it’s a southern crop in the united states, but there was no way he was going to move to the south just to expand the business. his entire family was so relieved about it that they danced through the sprinklers and set off fireworks — and none of them are really into that kind of thing. it’s particularly incredible due to the area they’re in, being very prone to sometimes too much drought and too much rain, and both are responsible for driving out selling numbers of crops. his plan is to switch into an agricultural degree, and perhaps even expand it into engineering, so that he can continue helping this way. / one of his surprises for algernon was learning sign language. for the longest time, months even, shen made it out like he had no idea what was being said, and let damien, as surly as ever, be the translator when algernon was unwilling or unable to speak. in the background, however, he was working with a tutor and seeking to understand better what it meant to be both HoH and mute. then, when algernon’s birthday came around, everyone went silent ( holy god he was so nervous ) and he gave an entire romantic, long speech entirely in sign language. he’s sure that some of it got lost in translation due to how hard his hands were shaking, but the way that algernon kissed him afterwards, it didn’t seem to affect much. now, they communicate constantly on this even ground. / he’s started up horseback riding again — and has roped tobias into doing it alongside him. tobias might have grace on the stage floor, but certainly not on the back of a horse; he somehow ended up upside-down beneath the horse’s belly, and then fell down in a tangle of limbs. shen has taken to the western side of things, re-learning how to barrel race and rope cattle; but he and tobias have had to separate their lessons due to these antics. lucas isn’t allowed to come to any of them; his stupid remarks send them into fits of laughing. ( bold of us to assume he doesn’t just sit in the truck and shout anyways. )

[ deok bae ] ◈ — due to the empire no longer supporting his upgrades, nor looking in his general direction, he has had to find other ways to obtain new modifications. this is including, but not limited to, going and pulling them out of other people’s bodies as catharsis — but usually, he defects to yuri and silas to fix him up. to his chagrin, the LED-light in his forehead has absolutely no use whatsoever, only displaying his brain’s processing as a symptom of installation. he pulled it out himself via the tip of a knife’s blade. the next time that he’s seen by those who haven’t seen him in quite some time, he might be unrecognisable. i am not deok bae — perhaps deok bae is no longer himself either. if there was no connection to eli in his head, he would forget that; perhaps he would merely succumb to the machinery, perhaps he would succumb to the wolf-dom. there are several pairs of teeth in his mouth awaiting for their moment to bite. / when he was a teen, his version of ‘sneaking out’ would be to wheel his chair to the gardens at the back of the temple, where he would sit and think for hours and hours. his father would come and find him there; sometimes, master jhcor would instead. his father would return him back to where he needed to be, but master jhcor would sit beside him and gaze serenely until bae felt the need to speak what was on his mind: his angers, his fevers, his rages. one time, he was surprised to see that it was not master jhcor, nor master deok, but zan coming to sit with him. his heart had sat in his throat the whole time, half-expecting zan to laugh at him or say something particularly piteous. instead, the conversation was — well, looking back, absurdly normal, all things considering. when bae blinked tiredly, zan rose and took the handles of his chair and took him back. he hadn’t intended to ask him to do so, but it was done anyway. / bae drinks a lot of soda. it’s somewhat fitting, if you believe all that talk about how coca-cola can double as a cleaner due to the high carbonation and way it’s made. he does seem to get shiny after several cans — it’s also convenient that he can’t experience sugar-highs nor malfunctions of the liver or stomach due to too much consumption. he considers himself to be a soda connoisseur as a result. he offers a lot of hmm, that’ll taste disgusting comments that annoy the shit out of the others — but then kisung takes a drink and bae ends up being right, so there’s no regrets.

ღ ━ favourite canon ships for your muse(s). are there any you dislike?

there’s ... none that i dislike. there’s moments of come on, but that’s bound to happen. i think the favourite ships are the ... guardian / princess vibes ( whether it’s literal or not: akane / the samurai, quinn / sehrin, jian / elaine ). i also love the growing from previous immaturities towards each other ( grey / tobias, jihoon / wyatt, playboy / jordan ) — and himbos of course ( hojin / ravi!! ) there’s also the whole ... tsh, vampiric aesthetic that we get ( minzhe / yongha ) ... the ones like jisoo / mingfei, cyrian / ulysses, cadoc / pestilence ( exploring violence against but without the stickiness ). of course, if i keep going, i’ll end up listing all of them and then where would we be.

♫ ━ a small playlist for a muse of your choice

for nam jungsoo, because i actually once did make a playlist for him:

1. brand new — sic transit gloria ... glory fades 2. within temptation — what have you done 3. iamx feat. imogen heap — my secret friend 4. florence + the machine — shipwreck (the odyssey) 5. crown the empire — hologram

i mean, the songs are still kinda relevant considering his current character ...

✮ ━ top three favourite muses that you’ve played

but is it possible to pick three favourites ... that’s the real question. maybe. jianguo, because of catharsis, because of cultural exploration and similarities. grendel, because of the depth, the personal torment, the surrounding family. jinho & julius, because of exploring that darkness. and famine — man, now that’s something. there’s a lot more than three though. like blood and jisoo and tobias and arthur. but. the questions INSIST THAT I CHOOSE.

[coffee-fueled-weeb-witch]

Write Your Witchcraft (#37)

All of the questions

1-4 answered  |  5-8 answered  |  9-12 answered  |  13-16 answered  |  17-20 answered  |  21-24 answered  |  25-28 answered  |  29-32 answered  |  33-36 answered 

37. Who do I honor (ex: deities, ancestors, myself, etc), and how do I, or would I like to, honor them?

At the moment I work with Athena, Hermes, Hades, Persephone, Apollo, Artemis, and recently also started working a bit with Ares and Hephaestus.  I’ve also had a little bit of experience, though not much, with Hestia and Dionysus thanks to one of my best and closest friends working with them.  Now, since there’s quite a few of them, I’ll start with what I do for all of them and then I’ll go into more specific things for each one.

In general I have a playlist for each of the gods I work with and then there’s two others- a playlist for Hades and Persephone together and one for Hermes, Apollo, and Dionysus together (If you guys are interested I could make a post with links to said playlists).  I’m also in a small coven on discord, consisting of me and my friends, and there I have a channel for each of them that I use as virtual alters.  Another thing I do is sit and work out a sigil for each individual god that I can use if I feel I am struggling to connect to them or to help dedicate something to them.  Now I’ll get into the individual things- which I tend to work most with Athena, Hermes, Hades, and Persephone, so I’ll probably be listing a bit more for them than the others right now.

Athena

I am always studying and trying to learn about a variety of new things and often dedicate my research and reading time to her.

When in stressful situations with conflicts brewing I try to remain calm and keep a level head, sometimes asking for her help with this as I try to think things through rationally and work on a solution.

Whenever my friends need help understanding something or finding information I do my best to teach and guide them, sharing whatever wisdom and knowledge of my own that I can and helping them find more because Athena encourages me to do so and like her I too enjoy sharing my knowledge.

I have a nice little amethyst gemstone that I dedicated to her and I always have it close by.

I do my best to protect others and have become fairly skilled in protection magick, and when I feel a situation calls for it I will ask for Athena’s protection or for her to help me be able to protect those I care for or am trying to help.

I have a small, white owl statue on my nightstand that used to belong to my grandmother.  Because of Athena’s connection to owls, I put it there for her- though it’s so old and fragile it’s literally slowly crumbling into a powdery dust, so I’ll need to replace it sometime sadly.

I also like to dedicate my crafting and jewelry making time to Athena.

Hermes

Since he is connected to Wednesdays and has a lot to do with languages, every Wednesday I spend at least an hour working on my Japanese and I often ask him to help me understand things I struggle with or remember certain things.  After I will usually watch anime that involves something he is associated with in some way or I think he may like himself.

I usually offer him some of morning coffee and thank him for helping me out with various things and even just being there.

When I’m getting over stressed and know I need to lighten up I take a step back and try to have more fun and remind myself that I don’t need to be serious all the time, that like Hermes I can just have fun.

On really low energy days for me I tend to binge watch vine and meme compilations on youtube and dedicate that to him.

Hermes encourages me to not be so embarrassed and afraid of being laughed at,  so I’ve been letting myself become more... well, myself.  If someone wants to call me cringey for being weird or chaotic, then they can.  I’m having fun and being myself and my boi Hermes is right there cheering me on, so fuck anyone who doesn’t like it!!  In other words, he helps me a lot with being less afraid to be myself and being comfortable acting like a deranged little crackhead goblin and just enjoying myself- so for him I like to just love myself and let go of worrying about what others think of me.

Hades

I love spending time researching death practices and beliefs over the years and in different cultures, so I dedicate that time to Hades.  I also put a lot of time into learning as much as I can about spirit work and death witchcraft which I’ve been getting more interested in since working with him.

When I find someone or see a friend who is struggling and seriously considering death to be their solution I try my best to help them.  I’ve personally lost someone to suicide and it’s something I don’t want anyone else to experience.  I’ve also had a few interaction with the spirit of the one who passed and spent a lot of time helping him work through the emotions he had and get to a point where he was more at peace and not hating himself for what he had done.  Since then I’ve also come to learn and understand that it genuinely saddens Hades and Persephone both to see how many young people end up cutting their own lives so short, so for me doing what I can to help those people is so important for so many reasons.

As I said I lost someone I loved dearly, so at times when that starts to weight on me or when my own depression’s getting to be a little hard to deal with I often turn to Hades for comfort and help in getting through it.  He is very much like a father figure to me, which I no longer have anything to do with my real dad, so it helps a lot to be able to turn to him for help and guidance when I’m struggling.

I like to leave him little offerings when I can and so far have found that he really enjoys the dark chocolate I give him.

I always make sure to thank him for helping me and also for watching over the souls of those who passed.  It makes him really happy and he appreciates it so much.

Persephone

A lot of the things I do for Hades I also do for Persephone, so I won’t repeat all of them again.

For years I’ve struggled with dealing with toxic people who had me convinced I could only be one thing, that I was the reserved and quiet friend, I was always mature, I didn’t goof off as much, I loved darker things and horror and thus could only love those things and behave in a certain way, but Persephone has been helping me understand that this is not true and I can express my softer, more goofy and childish nature.  I can be dark and spooky, but I can also be soft and sweet.  She is both a Goddess of Spring and Queen of the Underworld- if she can be these two opposite things, then so can I.  So similar to Hermes, I like to practice self-love and acceptance for Persephone.

I also like to give her small offerings when I can, which she seemed to really enjoy the marshmallow peep I gave her!  

This is one I also do for both Hades and Persephone, and because I know how difficult it can be- when I know someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, I try my best to offer them comfort and just be there for them.

Apollo

I like to dedicate the time I spend drawing to him and when I’m experiencing a lot of artists block I’ll ask him to please help me overcome it or help me find some form of inspiration.

When I start to feel a bit sick I’ll often ask him for a little extra help in feeling better, alongside Artemis.

When my insomnia’s so bad that I’ve ended up staying awake all night I like to take a moment to just sit and listen to music while watching the sunrise.  Likewise, in the evenings when the sun is sinking and the light comes in the window I love to just close my eyes and relax as I let it wash over me and thank Apollo for the brightness and warmth, and for being there.

I often scream-sing along with songs that remind me of him.

I also remember reading that Apollo watches over the decomposing bodies of those who died and graveyards, so I like to thank him for that.

Artemis

I’ve always been a night owl and have always had a love for the moon and stars, so when I can I like to just sit and listen to music and the sounds of the night while looking at the dark sky as I think over the day and will sometimes just talk to Artemis and tell her how things are going and stuff like that.

Like I said before I sometimes ask her and Apollo for help if I’m starting to feel sick.

I actually found a really nice set on imvu for Artemis, so my friend helped me get the outfit for her.

Ares

I haven’t been working with Ares for very long yet, so so far there isn’t nearly as much for me to share.  So far, aside from making a playlist, sigil, and virtual altar for him, I’ve been trying to stand up for myself more and he has definitely been helping me to do this.  I may write a post actually talking about my most recent and strongest experience working with him.

I’ve also always tried my best to stand up for others (honestly better at it than I am standing up for myself), so now I also consider this another thing I can do for Ares and that I feel he greatly approves of.  

Hephaestus

Like Ares I haven’t been working with Hephaestus for very long, so I again don’t have much a whole lot to list yet.  Still, one thing I’ve been sort of dedicating to him is the time I’m spending learning how to wire wrap gemstones.  It’s not exactly the same as being a blacksmith, but still sort of involves working with metal and crafting and he’s enjoyed me sharing my progress with him and how hard I’m working to learn this new skill despite my disability making it a bit difficult for me.

I’ve also been trying to love myself more for Hephaestus when it comes to my disability.  I’ve grown up constantly being made to feel like an inconvenience, a burden, and a waste of time, but help from my friends, my boyfriend, and recently Hephaestus, I’ve gradually been working to overcome the negative thoughts and beliefs that were carved into me.

Well, that’s all I can think of typing for this one- I’ve normally been doing this write your witchcraft thing four questions at a time, but since it took me so long to fully answer this one question I decided to just do this one.  

[karliesbuzzcut]

In times when most of our lives seem to have drastically changed and there are new updates every hour... it’s quite comforting to know that Kaylors have stayed exactly the same.

1. TTB is still promising people stuff that she has no real way of knowing.

And at least 65 people are sleeping better at night knowing that a rando on the internet has “no doubt about” Kaylor being very real.

2. The tradition of yelling FALSE whenever something contradicts their ideas is alive and well ❤️

I especially love how strange they find that a person might want to look a different way during the day. Karlie wasn’t wearing makeup earlier that day but then she was? What kind of witchcraft is this? And a different top too? How can anyone explain that!!?

Karlie and Taylor are really going through a lot of trouble for this publicity stunt of theirs. You have to admire their dedication. Some celebrities might meet up at a coffee place so they can be seen by the paparazzi and start dating rumours. Karlie and Taylor are like “nah, if we aren’t in a committed relationship for -at least- several years no one will believe it”.

But then they realised they still haven’t fooled the Kaylors and realised Special Effects might be their only option...!

2. 1. Reaching will always be part of the average Kaylor’s lifestyle... and they will keep pretending London Boy isn’t an honest song because... uhm... they don’t want it to be? Double points for this one.

Or maybe tripe points? Because that condescending “who gives a fuck”, it-doesn’t-mean-anything attitude, is sooo classic Kaylor. Man, that last anon really encapsulated the whole experience. Bravo!

This is simply my favourite of the whole list. I mean, they are discussing the possibility of Joe being CGI-ed, for crying out loud. You can’t get more conspiratorial than this - it’s... almost artistic.

3. Kaylors still think they are so important in Karlie’s and Taylor’s life, that the girls keep checking Kaylor Blogs.

Sure, before Karlie and Taylor were only super successful and busy women. Now there’s also a pandemic going on in the world... But, whatever, they will always take the time to visit taytaysbeard.tumblr.com!

I love that they threw a bit of shade there for good measure, too. “Karlie, we know you’re reading this... fuck you”.

4. No matter what happens in the world and, specifically, in Taylor’s and Karlie’s life, everything and anything will always point towards an upcoming split.

Taylor had “loud” rumours about marriage with a longtime boyfriend once and it has suddenly become a tradition of some sorts.

5. Kaylors are still giving me these vibes that they are undercover aliens trying to understand the human experience???

My current playlist is full of songs about staying at home because of a virus that is currently affecting the entire world and also about having a dog who had the shits for half a day a week ago and still being worried about it to this day.

Also. I haven’t been able to listen to All To Well ever, I’ve been in a relationship for as long as that song has existed and I can’t possibly relate to going through a breakup... so what’s the point, right? 🤷‍♀️ Anyway, is it good? Am I missing anything?

6. They still firmly believe Taylor is gay but outing a gay person would be wrong but outing Taylor, who I think is gay, isn’t wrong because... she’s a public figure? She made me do it? I’m the victim here?

I definitely need to check this one out.

7. Kaylors’ world is still -apparently- very very small.

From the creators of “a white hand can only belong to Karlie” and the producers of “a white foot can only belong to Karlie”, this spring, we present: “there’s only one bent palm tree in the whole world”.

Listen. It’s not like I have the luxury of going to many exotic beaches. But I do have the luxury of having a phone with internet connection and I can Google “palm tree beach”. Palm trees bend, it’s a thing. You can even search “why do palm trees bend towards the ocean” and google will autocomplete it for you.

It’s good to be back ❤️

From everybody here: thank you, Kaylors, for being that one constant in our lives.

[sheusedtobesassier]

Day 10,402

Approximately two months ago I sent you a calm and collected message in which I asked seven questions about our break up. I made sure to say, “Write back whenever you feel the urge and if you never experience that urge then wow please don’t reply that’s fine. I know I need to ask, but it’s okay if you do not need to answer.” I really meant that.

You wrote me back six days later, but without answers. A polite message letting me know you were going to respond eventually. That was 2 months, 2 days, 22 hours, and some odd minutes ago. In my heart of hearts, I don’t believe you will ever send me your answers. The process would take some degree of emotional effort and truthfully I think it doesn’t matter enough to you. And that’s really really really really okay. It has to be.

I am going to answer the questions tonight. Not for you to read, but for me to write. I’ve got a glass of decent Pinot Grigio. I just heard some thunder rumbling. I think I read somewhere that there’s a full moon up there tonight. So. That all lines up for expression.

(I’m not going to include the actual questions in this post because goddamn I love to come off as elusive. I have them and you have them. Anybody else’s guess is good enough.)

1. Limit of four because limits help. You were my buddy so instead of being usually on my own I got to be usually with you. You knew how to be a steady force when I needed space to not be one. You usually felt/saw/reacted/thought differently than everybody else in the room, including me. You deliberately accessed me in ways I’d begun to believe nobody could or would ever want to.

2. Limit of four because limits help. It was extremely hard to be next to you when you were making it obvious you wanted so badly to be elsewhere. I didn’t ever laugh as hard as you like to laugh and it didn’t matter to you what I thought about music. It felt like it was always going to suck that I was a white girl. I think the shine wore off, like I think you’d lost a lot of respect for me by the end.

3. I mean. I think a few months into being officially together we were having a difficult conversation about how you were 90% sure you were going to leave camp soon. It came up that we didn’t really believe in the concept of long distance relationships. That neither of us were that kind of person. How ultimately that would be just a slower more painful break up. And like. Idk. Tbh this question is hard for me to answer and I really wish you would. That’d help me out a ton. When people ask me why we broke up I make vague jokes around it and I’m pretty sure I sound stupid as fuck.

4. Okay. Work hit a rough season financially and it put you it a bad spot. We went on a cold air walk one afternoon and you told me you were going to talk seriously to an Illinois buddy about possibly moving in with him. After that we went to the Moyers for dinner and you pulled Bill aside to speak privately. As I was falling asleep that night I asked what you’d talked about and you said, “I told him I am leaving.” I was caught totally off guard because you had not said those words to me yet. The conversation didn’t go further. I attempted to hide that I was crying and you said goodnight and left. Then for about three days you cut yourself off from the world completely. Hid out. Others started asking me what the heck was going on and I didn’t have an answer. I was subtle crying almost constantly lol, so I finally txted you and asked if we needed to talk. We acknowledged that the conversation we were about to have would require bravery. I asked my boss for some time off work and got it. Um. This is when it all gets pretty confusing for me. Looking back now I think at this point you already knew we were going to break up and were even possibly trying to do it haha, but uh. I didn’t realize your mind was made up. Which. To be fair to me, you did not communicate with me how far gone you were. So. I assumed we were still in the midst of a difficult decision making process. Perhaps I should have asked more questions than I did. But. Um. We spent like the next four days together and they were borderline perfect? Which. Lol whatever I don’t want to write about them. I want you to tell me what the fuck was going on there because I think the way you were looking at our last week together was 1000% different from whatever the hell I was perceiving. I was in a honey colored daze. I’m sorry if that time was low key tortuous for you. I truly did not understand what was happening. Um. We took each others clothes off on a Friday evening and afterwards I was laughing and realized you weren’t laughing. You were blank. Staring hard at nothing. I softly asked what was wrong and you said you had to call your friend and give him a final answer. And um. And I had to say the words, “And? You’re upset? Because? You’re going to tell him yes?” Um. All this is a blur. I don’t remember saying much else. I got dressed and began putting on make up, getting ready to go watch a children's musical with friends. You stood at the door watching me a while then left. Um I cried uncontrollably on the drive into town, through the whole damn elementary school production of Annie, and the ride back. When I got home I sent you a txt saying, “If you need things before you go or have things you need to express then please let me know and we can do that.” along with some other sad content. I didn’t hear back so then at midnight I txted you a comforting I love you message and you sent a comforting I love you message back. I fell asleep worrying about you. Mm. And then. Whatever I’m not going to write in detail about it, but you very abruptly left first thing the next morning and from that point on (THOUGH WE’VE NEVER HAD THE FUCKING CONVERSATION) we have been not together. Next question.

5. Okay. I got way too specific on that last one and would like to not make a pattern of that. Sorry. So. For this one. For me. Afterwards I went dark. I went through very ugly withdrawal. I guess I can’t really write about then. Um. I waited for weeks to hear from you and heard nothing. I read everything about our star signs and I listened to the break up playlist I’d been fucked up prepping throughout basically our entire relationship. I watched ALL the Marvel movies and I drank a lot a lot so much I just wanted to drink. I couldn’t fucking sleep ever and when I did I had cruel dreams about you. When we finally did start writing to each other I got really really really really emotionally messy. Paragraphs and then more paragraphs. DRAMATIC TAKE AFTER DRAMATIC TAKE. I didn’t call you and you didn’t call me. But I bothered you and I bothered you and I bothered you. You hardly ever seemed interested in talking to me. You’d give a little and I’d gross myself out at how desperate I was for more. You were polite and you didn’t want to talk to me. Yeah okay that’s the simplest way to describe what afterwards was like for me. I was in love with someone who didn’t want to talk to me.

6. Um. Okay. Honestly. Right now when I think of you there are a few common reactions. I think of the dialogue from Liz Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love often. “But I love him.” “So love him.” “But I miss him.” “So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him then drop it.” Usually when you come to mind it’s because of one of hundreds of things that connect to stories I like about us. I’m consistently telling me, “Shut up. Nobody knows how to react when you talk reverently about your ex.” Idk. I use a lot of my 11:11 wishes on your behalf. Like unselfishly. I don’t make them about us getting back together or anything like that. No, just for your happiness/wholeness. I wish for good for you. But maybe now that I’ve typed that here none of them will come true. Sorry.

7. I am not.

[itslikethatfrenchthing]

059: 5 Of The Most Productive Things To Do As A Business Owner

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Today’s talking point:

We are diving into the final step of the Busy To Boss Blueprint For Goal Setting: Step Number Seven, Implementing Advanced Productivity Strategies. This last step in the blueprint is definitely going to help you win and achieve everything that you want for your business and your life.

I am going to outline the top five most productive things to do as a business owner, which are really going to help you optimise the concepts that we've discussed so far in the Busy To Boss Blueprint For Goal Setting series.

Step seven includes the most productive things to do as a business owner. This is where we optimise this entire blueprint. Once you've mastered the first six steps, this is where we become a real boss.

The Busy To Boss Blueprint Steps:

#1 | Defining your goals

This is the foundation of the blueprint and identifying your goals is really really important.

#2 | Quarterly reverse engineering system 

This is where your goals are broken down into quarterly checkpoints.

 #3 | Choose your habits

We've talked about habits on this show before and your habits will essentially form the structure of your day, leading to increased productivity, energy and clarity.  

#4 | Create your ideal routines

Specifically your ideal week, ideal evening routine and ideal morning routine. This section is all about optimising your most precious hours of the day.

#5 | Implement basic productivity strategies

These will be implemented in various forms, but will all be strategically connected to your goals. 

#6 | Track your progress

This is what it says on the tin where you measure, monitor and manage your projects and goals. 

#7 | Implement advanced productivity strategies 

Now we're going to dive into step seven of the Busy To Boss Blueprint For Goal Setting series and I am going to outline the top five productivity strategies that are designed to work with and optimise the concepts that you have learnt over this series.

If you are curious about diving deeper into this world, these tools and strategies, and you want to learn more about implementing The Busy to Boss Blueprint For Goal Setting, get your name on the Busy To Boss Academy Waitlist to see how you can experience all of this for yourself with my support.

Are you ready to get into step number seven? Let's go.

IMPLEMENTING ADVANCED PRODUCTIVITY STRATEGIES

Assuming that you have a great handle on your own morning routine, your productivity system and your healthy habits, these strategies can really supplement your work and enhance your progress.

These are more advanced strategies, which is why they're optimising everything you've learnt so far. These techniques will work best for you when you are already in a productive flow - and you simply just want to get even better.

Throughout my journey of going from busy to boss and enhancing my productivity, I have found these five strategies to be just what I needed to take my progress to the next level. They are just icing on the cake, the most productive things to do. 

Now, although I personally love each of these strategies, and have implemented them, I don't want you to feel obligated to adopt them all. I know it might be tempting to want to dive in headfirst, but just hold off on overwhelming yourself right now because there's plenty of time for that later. 

#1| Schedule Time For Thinking

You become what you think about. Your thoughts define everything. What we think about determines our actions, our goals, our attitudes, and our ultimate achievements.

In the beginning of my own personal development journey, I discovered one of the greatest or most obvious strategies in existence. It has honestly transformed not only how I think, but also what I choose to think about. That simple strategy is to schedule time just for thinking. This is one of the most productive things to do.

It seems so obvious because it sounds just like brainstorming. But it's so much more than that, and I'm going to talk you through how you can do this. 

How to make the most of this strategy, 

Schedule a focused block of time, isolate yourself, bring your favourite notebook, whiteboard, journal, printing paper, and ask yourself one very important life question.

Write that question at the top of your writing space, and then spend up to an hour brainstorming and recording as many answers to this question as you can. 

The key with this is to ask yourself tough questions, especially ones that are regarding your current goals. Because what you will soon discover is that your breakthroughs are imminent.

The more often you give your brain the space to think about tough problems, the more creative and amazing you will be. So really schedule at least a few thinking sessions per week to optimise the strategy. I personally do this every single morning; I do it for about 15 minutes and I write down whatever thoughts come into my mind. It is honestly the best possible way to start my day.

I truly think that of all the advanced strategies, this one trumps them all. If you schedule consistent time for thinking, I promise that you will undoubtedly find a way to achieve whatever you set your mind to. 

#2| Music for the Mind

Number two is all about music and specifically, music for designed focus. I used to spend many hours every day attempting to work. Whether or not I actually get anything done during my day has a lot to do with how well I cut out distractions and focus on what matters.

One strategy that has revolutionised how I get work done is listening to music that is designed for my brain. I use Spotify and specifically I use two playlists:

Brain Food 

Chill Tracks

When it comes to music and focus in general, I cannot explain the science and you are very lucky that I am not even going to try! But the positive and productive effects are really easy to notice. I get into a flow state, get into the zone and within a few minutes the music fades away, and I am purely laser focused in on my work. 

This music is designed to help you focus. It's designed to help you reduce distractions, improve your attention span, and learn considerably more while you work. So I really find that it's best to use music like this when you're reading, writing, studying, or doing hardcore mental activity. When there are no lyrics, it's so easy to forget about the music and think about the task at hand, even though you still have something going on in the background. 

Music is such a powerful force on your attention and finding your ideal music is important if you repeatedly want to achieve your ideal workflow. 

#3| Uplevel your Workspace

Standing desks. There are ways around this, let me just say because I actually don't have a standing desk. So, being more physically active is 100% the name of the game when it comes to increased energy productivity and better health.

One of my all time favourite strategies for just those reasons is either using a standing desk or standing at a desk somewhere. It honestly makes such a difference in your productivity, your posture, your digestion, your energy, your attitude, and your willingness to keep working long after you normally would have stopped.

And just in general, it's so incredibly important to incorporate standing, walking or more movement throughout your normal work day to prevent a whole load of health problems that accompany when you are just sitting.

So if you are used to sitting at a desk for eight hours a day, using some of that time to stand even if it's just at your kitchen counter, which is what I usually do, it can dramatically improve your health and how much you get done. It’s one of the most productive things to do.

So you have two options to get a standing desk up and running. 

You can buy one

Or you build one

I highly recommend you build your first desk with materials that you have available already, so you won't have to spend any money. Experiment with this and see the benefits of it for yourself before you invest in anything. I stand at my kitchen counter and use some old stacks of magazines or textbooks. I even do that on my current desk sometimes.

Once you've committed to a standing desk, if you find that yet you want to use this full-time moving forward, then you can either buy a model or you can custom build your own to suit your needs.

Adjusting to a standing desk can take a week or two depending on your current fitness level and I wouldn't recommend you stand for all hours of the day. Alternate between sitting and standing every hour. It's also important just to make sure you're incorporating other fitness activities to help strengthen your back and your core as you make this transition. 

#4| Build your Vision

Just as a reminder, vision boards are a physical display. Things that you want usually hung on the wall with pictures of houses, cars, inspirational quotes or other similar items that are cut out from magazines. So essentially, this is quite an old school model of envisioning your life by idealising the end result. 

This method doesn't really work. Don't get me wrong, it's great to begin with. But there's a lot more to it then that - visualisation is only the first step and without a strategy, it gets you nowhere.

I recommend you start with this old school method if you haven't already to help you gain clarity over what you are trying to achieve. Then advance to the new vision board which is a representation of your journey. This vision board focuses on the processes and the work that leads to the end results and the outcomes that you want. 

For example, if you want to run a marathon, your vision board could include an image of running at sunrise. Or if you want to publish your first book, you could have an image of writing in a coffee shop. The main thing is that we want to focus on the process that is going to get us there. 

The best vision boards answer the question: how will I get to my goal? 

This new vision board where you outline your journey, uses pictures, images, quotes, and very practical reminders of what you will be doing all the way to get to your goal. It's that simple. All you need to do to create your vision board is:

Focus exclusively on your current quarterly objectives

Write detailed descriptions of the process to achieve each goal

Find images, quotes or inspirational content that directly reflect a few of the key steps in each action plan

Revisit your vision board at least once a quarter and then update it as needed. With a well thought out plan in place, your vision board can act as an incredible reminder to keep you focused and more importantly, to keep you focused. Again, one of the most productive things to do. 

#5| Go Upside Down

This may be the most bizarre strategy in this group. And I personally haven't practiced this one yet, but I have heard so many wonderful things about it: inversion. So inversion, or hanging upside down, can actually improve your health and help you get more done.

Dr. Robert Lockhart, who is an Australian Physician, has been practicing inversion on a daily basis for more than 40 years. The goal behind inversion is to reverse the effects of gravity. So gravitational forces are hard on the body and when you reverse gravity, you relieve incredible amounts of pressure and disrupt your normal rhythms, which carries with it benefits that you cannot get with any other exercise.

The benefits from this also include: 

Significant reduction in back pain, 

Less stress 

Better brain functioning with an increased flow of blood to your head, which helps productivity

Improved leg and core strength

Better joint health

Improved flexibility

Better posture

Clearer skin, reduced wrinkles, and more.

Inversion is not a miracle cure for everyone. There are a few potential drawbacks including the fact that hanging upside down can be hard on your joints. It does take a while to get used to. It can be dangerous to practice this alone. And if you want to use equipment for this, it is a little bulky and difficult to store.

Now like I said, I haven't practiced this. I know some people have. I'm actually on a mission at the moment to be able to do a handstand, once I get there, then maybe I might be able to practice it. 

Hanging upside down is a bizarre way to spend your time but it could become my new favourite way to spend my time. Look at it as a healthy habit and consider combining this with all the habits at the same time like meditation or affirmations or listening to a great podcast. So, all in all, there's actually a lot you can do, just hanging around. 

And that’s a wrap of the most productive things to do as a business owner! Let me know in the comments which one of these you’re going to try first.

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[blackreesemajic]

Social Distancing with a New Flame

         ✨💕 You just met a new boo and just when the vibes started flowing boom* 💥 💥 the world shuts down and quarantine is turned on. The honeymoon phase should be the time you and your person are going on dates, boo’d up in public, holding hands, and sucking each other's face every second of the day.  😘😘😘

Your mind is filled with a plethora of in-person activities y’all can be doing during this time to make the butterflies in your stomach flutter like they just popped a perk.

If your situation is anything like mine, You may feel like your coochie was just put on 90-day probation without your consent. Thank you to the reviews of Steve Harvey’s, “Act like a Lady, Think like a man.” And his toxic masculinity perpetuated in his book,  I would have read it and MAYBE had been better prepared for THIS situation. 

Remember, although times are hard right now it’s not always about sex! Your peach  🍑 may be yearning for that eggplant  🍆 but 30-90 days is not. that. long... of a wait to be intimate with someone. 

You could be like one of those people who wait until marriage…

No shade, but I am not one of those people.  

I’m the, “Bring that ass here boi!” type of people. 

The CDC recommends that we “Stay Calm” during this time quarantine.

 It sounds unrealistic to me.  😒

 How can we stay calm when our sexual desires are all over the place. 

There are three things we are ALL doing during this time if we are not daydreaming about the outside land. 

We spend all day bouncing that ass from Insta to Facebook, Twitter to Tumblr then back to Insta again…

 Log on to our ex’s Netflix account and be entertained by the white Trashery of Tiger King and then see the same trashery in the White House to remind us the world has gone straight to SHITS... 

Lastly, switching to Private mode on our phones and visiting pornhub.com or xvideos.com to see who is offering the best free subscription. 

 Trust me, I’m right there with you! 

 Just because social distancing is in effect does not mean you have to distance your heart. 

Let’s use this time to get to know each other on a personal level. 

Isolation could be causing your energies to yearn for one another louder than ever. You may even have a heightened craving of intimacy during this time. This time in quarantine can be beneficial to your dating life if you consider yourself someone who is, “Shy or Introverted” or are attracted to people who are. Many people with introverted personalities would prefer getting to know each other over the phone or on a virtual date. This is the time to bring back genuine connections, open and honest conversations, and my ALL TIME FAVORITE… Falling asleep on the phone. 

[[Pieces of Reese: If he in quarantine at “his crib” but can only talk to you during certain hours or when he steps outside… He in quarantine with someone else, sis. LET HIM GO! ]]   🔑 😒

Here are some tips to keep the flame lit, tea hot, and coffee dripping down your lips. So that when you and your new boo do get back together the connection is stronger than ever!

1.     Self Healing and Reflecting: I know. I know. You were so excited because you feel like you could have finally met your “PERSON”. And now, You can’t even see them in-person. Your mind starts to ponder so many “What the fucking Ifs!” “What if they get bored with me?” “What if they lose interest?” “What if they have multiple quarantine boo’s”  “What if they catch corona and die?!!!” I know it sounds fucking crazy but its a real fucking fear.  You must remember that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real!

I NEED YOU TO IMMEDIATELY; Reset your mind and Refocus yourself. 

Now is the time you must remind yourself that “YOU ARE THAT BITCH!” Use this time to get to know you. Get healthy Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally... If being in a relationship/ situationship is what you desire at the end of all of this. Use the time to make yourself WHOLE. Thou can’t pick up broken glass without cutting the hand that is trying to put the pieces back together.  

[[ “We don’t fear being alone. We fear getting to know the parts of ourselves we didn’t know before.” - Pieces of Reese ]]

 Pick up a pen and paper and write: Write a letter to yourself. Write in your diary. Write to your person. Write your feelings. Write yourself daily affirmations and post them on your bathroom mirror so that you see them every day. Get connected with the feelings behind your everyday thoughts.

Set a routine; Whatever the routine looks like to you, set it! There is no amount of work you need to force yourself to meet society’s sense of productivity. The routine is only in place to keep your body prepared for what the universe has to offer you once this is all done.

2.       Virtual Dates: It seems crazy but having a virtual date can be romantic and is also cost-efficient. If you or your partner want to be extravagant you can rotate turns ordering the other person a meal (Be sure to leave your delivery person a decent tip for working through these hard times). You can both go into your own kitchens and cook each other your favorite meal. Make something you will want your person to try when you are in one space. Try describing the taste of the meal, who taught you how to make it, and why it is your favorite. Adding wine or alcohol loosens things up and being alone could make you more comfortable with being yourself on the date. A great website to get the conversation going: www.goalcast.com/2018/04/19/deep-questions-to-ask-your-partner/amp/ 

3.   Share what you see: If you are a lover of music, videos, Memes, or GIFs, Do NOT be afraid to share it with your person. With everything that is happening in the world currently, Now is the perfect time to make someone smile and laugh. Remember that MENTAL HEALTH is real! For people who suffer from Mental Health Illness, forced isolation calls for undesired thoughts of not being wanted. Show your person they are the first person you thought of when you have seen or heard something. Make them feel like, you couldn’t wait to send it to them. Let them know they are not alone during this time. You are their person   

4. If you are adventurous: Video or Phone sex has never got anyone left on READ. It actually gets you a callback.

 It's safe, sexy, and Kinky AS FUCK! Call your friends who love BDSM to teach you a thing or two. Virtual sex allows you to push the boundaries between you and your partner. It makes each person excited for what's to come when you are in one space. 

You can set the mood for your virtual hook up by lighting candles, having your space neat, camera angles must be on point,  and start off with a striptease to get the eggplant ripe and keep the peach juicy. 

Playing a ”If I miss, I Strip. If you miss, You strip.” [if you know, you know ❤️ + 🏀 ] type of game may relax you and your partner. Of course, Make it specific to you and yours. Don’t forget to have your #BlackReeseMajic music playlist ready. If you don’t have a music playlist visit my apple music/ Spotify to follow any of mine  

5.    Lastly, Optional, and specific for my Spiritual Souls who believe in the power of Manifestation: ✨💕✨💕✨💕

[You do not have to have a person already to do this step. If you are someone hoping to find your quarantine boo or keep the one you have then this is for you]

 Step One: is to start by writing out everything you want in your person. Qualities, Attributes, Values, and Looks (if you believe in detail). Remember to write out how you want to be treated by your person. If you want to go the extra step. You can write what ‘You’ will be able to offer to your person. Once you have produced the person you desire in the concrete sense,

 Step Two: is to call on your spirits guides, ancestors, and higher power to bring forth your ask. Some things you may need to connect with the spiritual realm but are not required are 1.Pink Candle (Pink candles personify the purest form of love, a love without selfishness with selfless emotions, are ideal for the beginning of a relationship), 2. Herbs or Essential oils [if you have] have a centuries-long history of symbolizing love and devotion (Lavender, Rose, Basil, Calendula...etc). 3. Sage: “Sage is known to have healing properties and with the power of intention and spiritual connection with the source of all existence, the burning of Sage assists with healing and clearing.” 4. Offering: Clean and freshwater is the simplest form of offering. You can also offer coins, jewelry, fruits, anything appealing to the spirits. 5. Bell or anything that makes noise (can be your voice) 

And Step Three: Have a table or space specific for intentions or manifestation. With a clear mind, body, and soul begin my thanking creation for all that you already have. I like to place my “person desires” list under my pink candle. I sprinkle my herbs around and inside my candle. I  use a couple of drops of my essential oils for fragrance (Spirits love good smelling things). I make my spiritual space as pretty as possible (Glitter is enticing to spirits and crystals deepens the vibrations). I give the offering (usually freshwater, money, or coins). I chant (Chanting is specific to you. If you need help with a chant I usually say, “All praises to the most high. God, Spirits, Creation, and Ancestors, I thank you for everything you have done and everything you continue to do. I offer you my purest self and this alter to bring forth my ask…”  I burn my sage (smell, clarity, and guidance to myself and spirits), and finally, I light my pink love candle.

 I let my candle burn for a whole day or I light it every day for a few hours then blow it out.   

I hope this tea has filled your soul the way writing it has filled mine. Stay at home if you can and stay safe during this time. 

If you are someone who lost a loved one from complications of COVID19, I pray for healing and peace over your life. I am sending EACH and every one of you Light and Love from the depths of my soul. 

Spread Light and Love Every day! ✨💕

PEACE & Be The.      

    Sincerely, Pieces of Reese

Sources: 

https://www.miracleswithinus.com/the-spiritual-side-of-sage.html

https://dontmesswithmama.com/essential-oils-for-romance-love/

https://www.thespruce.com/herb-meanings-in-love-and-romance-1761964

https://www.sisterlove.org/post/keeping-it-safe-and-sexy-covid19

[grimelords]

Hello I’ve finished my February playlist for you. There’s no timeline on these things anymore they just come out whenever they come out it seems. A good mix, and I’m sure there’ll be at least one thing in here you’ve never heard before that you’ll like. 

Doncamatic (feat. Daley) - Gorillaz: This song is extremely traumatic for me because they released it after Plastic Beach as a standalone single and Damon Albarn said they had a whole other album worth of songs from the Plastic Beach sessions that they were thinking about releasing with Doncamatic as the lead single that just never materialised, and the idea of Plastic Beach 2 sitting on a hard drive while we get The Now Now (The Fall 2) instead is maddening.

Portait Of A Man (live) - Marlon Williams: I feel like I've used The Secret to bring this album into existence. It's exactly what I wanted from him - no studio artifice or weird genre pigeonholing and his huge voice on full display. It's incredible and long as hell and this is definitely the highlight.

Houdini Crush - Buke & Gase: I'm in love with the structure of this song. It takes SO long to get back to the chorus. It takes about three different sections in the middle and then finally gets back there and it's so satisfying because of it. You could edit this song into a tight indie pop piece but instead it has the space to go wild and jam and it's great.

AE_LIVE_KRAKOW_200914 - Autechre: Sorry but Autechre finally put all their live albums on spotify and they're very VERY good. Not the sort of thing that you want to listen to as part of a playlist exactly cause they go for an hour each but a very nice reminder nonetheless.

Sheet Metal Girl - Pig Destroyer: I think Pig Destroyer is one of the best band names I've ever heard. I found out later they meant pigs like cops which is still good but the idea of absolutely eviscerating a hog for no reason is very palpably metal. Just looked up the lyrics and this song seems to literally about having sex with a girl made out of sheet metal. Good!

Horizon - Aldous Harding: I absolutely love this song and the way she says 'babe' lights my brain up like a christmas tree. Every now and then I think about when you’ll die baaaaabe.

Born Slippy (Nux) - Underworld: There's a good bit on the Genius page for this song that says "Lots of 1990s acts helped popularize techno, but in Karl Hyde, Underworld had something that was the exclusive province of rock bands: a totally full-of-it frontman who sounded cool." and it's interesting that Underworld and The Prodigy are the biggest names to survive that time and still be at least slightly relevant now. No matter how much you put into your instrumentals nothing can really compare to just having an insane guy yell a bunch of garbage over it.

A Change Is Going To Come - Baby Huey & The Baby Sitters: This is like all good all normal and then he does that huge squeal at 2 minutes in and you're rocked to your core and then it only gets bigger and bigger and better from there. Also maybe one of the best mid song monologues I've ever heard.

No Signal (feat. Roy Woods) - 24hrs: The whole thing of emo rap mirroring mid 2000s emo is still so strange because it's not just the mindset and content being repurposed it's the literal melodic conventions. Change the instrumentation of this song and it's melodically just an emo song. Very strange, but this song is great regardless.

De Aqui No Sales - Cap.4: Disputa - Rosalia: Rosalia rocks and I only just found out El Guincho co-produced this album which is very exciting to me. I love the way this song feels like it never really gets to the big build up it's promising. It has a big intro for about half the song and then when it feels like it's about to blow up when the handclaps come in it just sits in that groove for a while and ends. I also feel like I should mention the video for this song because it's like the platonic ideal of a music video. It's got everything you could ask for. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvGt2BcDl_g

Glass Jar - Gang Gang Dance: Here's how good brains are: I had a sudden urge to listen to this album the other day but couldn't remember what it was called or who it was by, only the album cover, but for some reason locked away in my brain was the fact that it was from 2011 so I just looked through Pitchfork's Best Of 2011 list until I recognised it. Incredible. Anyway I'm so glad I did because I ended up having a huge phase with this album. They walk the fine line of psychedelic jammy bands like this of taking up a lot of space with atmospherics but it never feeling like it's lost momentum. Even when this song takes fully half of its 11 minute runtime to properly get started it never feels like wasted time somehow, it's always moving somewhere.

Heavyweight - Infected Mushroom: It's unbelievable that this song's good because it absolutely shouldn't be. The unholy mix of goa trance and metal usually reserved for Command And Conquer soundtracks is so unbelievably naff that it's come all the way around again and I absolutely love it.

Black Static - Health: I'm still absolutely furious about Pitchfork giving this album a 3 and not particularly for the score but because it's some of the worst Pitchfork Writing I've seen in a quite a while. They tried to cancel them for calling the album Slaves Of Fear I think: "The “we,” it seems, refers to the slaves, the slaves of fear, and if I try any harder to connect the dual sensation of edginess and laziness with slavery, the all-American institution that killed and brutalized millions of people for hundreds of years, I am going to have to take a long walk into the sun." Not sure about that. Anyway this song's great sorry for talking about a review instead of the song!

Burn Bridges - The Grates: Twee pop is an underrated genre and The Grates are an underrated band because they brought so much attitude and power to it it's hardly twee at all. It's huge and it rocks!

Girlfriend (feat. Lil Mama) - Dr. Luke Mix - Avril Lavigne: Sorry for putting Dr Luke on your dash in 2019 but this is mostly for Lil Mama. Removing Avril's verses and replacing them with Lil Mama but keeping the chorus and big guitars makes it sound like a lost Girl Talk song and it's so, so much better than the original. There's also a good bit in this where she really puts a lot of emphasis on saying 'Jennifer Hudson' and the weird harmony vocals in the background mirror it which I like a lot.

Panic Switch - Silversun Pickups: It seems like Silversun Pickups had no lasting impact beyond being one hit wonders for Lazy Eye which is so strange to me because their first two albums were absolutely solid. This is also a good example of totally nonsense lyrics feeling like they have meaning because the melody it so good.

3 - Seekae: It's very strange now to think that Alex Cameron was in Seekae. But that's not important. What is important is how good this song is. In the extremely narrow genre of Mount Kimbie-ites +Dome really stood out to me as album from guys who really got it. It's extremely catchy music but it still sounds like nothing you've ever heard before which when you think about it sounds like it should be impossible.

Shooting Stars - Bag Raiders: Bag Raiders did a little Song Exploder thing for Triple J about this song a little while ago and pointed out something I'd never noticed before which is that this song has the extremely strange structure of 1 really long verse, breakdown, 1 really long chorus, end. Which is.... completely amazing. And also that this song blew up and charted higher than it ever had before via memes like 6 years after it came out is still bizarre. Remember when it was in the video for Swish Swish by Katy Perry? God I hope they got paid a million dollars for that.

Romantic Rights (Erol Alkan's Love From Below Re-Edit) - Death From Above 1979: Huge fan of this remix that seems to just drop the full song unedited right in the middle. The perfect way to remix an already great song - just make it longer.

Dwa Serduszka - Joanna Kulig: I saw Cold War and subsequently couldn't get this song out of my head. I loved that movie so much but I also extremely agreed when @cyborgbree said the ending was like a Simpsons parody or foreign movies.

Holes - Mercury Rev: This song gives me depression and makes me feel like I'm sorting through old records and merch from my old band that tried really hard but never got anywhere even though I've never even been in a band. That's the power of music!

It's Never Over (Hey Orpheus) - Arcade Fire: Reflektor is a great and underrated album and to this day I am still finding new things to love about it! Namely this song which I've never paid much attention to before but massively jumped out at me last time I listened. It's a 3 note riff but it's absolutely amazing.

Dance Your Life Away - Audiobooks: Huge fan of having the gall to name your band Audiobooks and a huge fan of this song! It sounds like if Life Without Buildings was a dance band, which is a theoretically perfect idea. It sounds like she's just making the words up on the spot and she probably is and it's absolutely great.

Everything (Deathless) - JW Ridley: I'm so glad that War On Drugs brought heartland rock back for the masses and finally gave us back extended guitar solos outside of a metal or prog context. It is so inspiring what you can do with two chords and a propulsive groove.

Unmarked Helicopters - Soul Coughing: Sorry for continually putting Soul Coughing in these playlists but check out how good this song they did for the X Files movie soundtrack was. 'check out this Soul Coughing song they did for the X Files movie soundtrack' is a very specific kind of 90s sentence. Anyway the 'black black black black and blacker' part with the distortion on the vocals is so good, love it lots.

Don't Sit Down Cause I've Moved Your Chair - Arctic Monkeys: I saw Arctic Monkeys a couple of weeks ago and it was amazing but also extra good because they played this song that I'd completely forgotten about and it went off. The Josh Homme produced Arctic Monkeys albums are very good because his fingerprints are all over them and they sound like Queens Of The Stone Age covers.

What Can I Do If The Fire Goes Out? - Gang Of Youths: It's fucked up how good this song is. I listened to it the other day and was like 'what the fuck how come I never listened to Gang Of Youths second album that much? But then I kept going and realised it was 70 minutes long and had about five interlude tracks on it. I love Gang Of Youths but they need a producer that will yell at them until they make a 40 minute album. Fuck this song's good though. So good I'm mad I haven't seen it live yet.

Shark Smile - Big Thief: I don't even know the words to this song or what it's about but it makes me cry anyway. I'm very glad I found out about Big Thief this month, like two years after everyone else. Their description on Bandcamp says "Listening to Big Thief is like the feeling of looking at a dog and suddenly marvelling that it is like you but very not like you; when you are accustomed to looking at a dog and thinking 'dog', watching Big Thief is like forgetting the word 'dog' and looking at that naked animal and getting much closer to it and how different it is to you" which is a certainly a way to feel.

Inhaler - Foals: I don't know how I've avoided it but I've never really gotten much into Foals even though they have multiple songs that I really really love, this one being one of them. I think it's an amazing piece of recording simply for how huge it gets. This song swells to about ten times its original size as the chorus hits before totally deflating again. Also a huge fan of anyone that can make a Battles riff work in a conventional song like this does.

Red Bull & Hennessy - Jenny Lewis: Another fantastic song in the long pantheon of great songs about getting twisted and being horny. The isolated 'ohh' after 'all we've been through' feels like a real Shania Twain piece of production and I love it. Also the drums on this song are absolutely massive for some reason which is very cool.​

listen here

[htmcars-blog]

14 Best Car Games for Kids So You'll Never Hear "Are We There Yet" Again

At first, a road trip seems like an excellent idea. you'll crank up the music, feel the wind in your hair, and perhaps even see one among the simplest roadside attractions in America. But once you throw kids into the combination, things can get a touch hectic—and your perfect driving playlist could get drowned out by a chorus of "are we their yets" coming from the backseat. Fortunately, there is a simple solution: Never leave home without one among these essential car games for teenagers.

Our comprehensive list of the simplest driving games includes a mixture of the classic (and free!) car games you grew up playing as a child, also as a couple of newer, shoppable options you'll buy now. Whether you're stuck in downtown traffic or on a cross-country road trip without stopping in view, these car games for teenagers will help you—and your crew—pass the time and celebrate doing it.

Spot It! game - car games for teenagers Best Car Game for teenagers Who like to Compete: Spot It!

Spot It! is an ultra-portable card that relations of all ages can play together in up to 5 alternative ways (and yep, variety is that the spice of life—and road trips). Designed for anywhere between two and eight players, Spot It! maybe a beholding game during which players must find matching images. In its simplest iteration, players flip two cards at an equivalent time. Each card features eight images and every two cards will feature exactly one among equivalent images. The player who spots that overlap first, wins. It's almost like the classic matching cards, but are often switched up for more of a challenge. This game is ideal for siblings who want to play together within the backseat while you get a touch of an opportunity.

Best Car Game for teenagers Who Love the News: Did You Hear That…?

"Did You Hear That…?" is one among the simplest car games for teenagers who love popular culture and entertainment and wish to continue with the news. One person tells a fake—or real—"news story" (it might be celebrity news or whatever you want!) starting with "Did you hear that…?" The others need to guess whether it's fact or fiction. Everybody gets an address to tell a story or two! This game is great for older kids and teenagers who are within the know.

Game Magnetic parlor game set - car games for teenagers Best Car Game for teenagers Who Love the Classics: Game Magnetic parlor game Set

Retro games like checkers and backgammon are often an excellent thanks to passing the time, but moving vehicles aren't necessarily conducive to keeping tiny pieces in situ. This magnetic set of 12 miniature backseat board games means no stray pieces fall on the ground, and you get a good sort of games to settle on from.

The set includes challenging games like Chinese checkers and chess for older kids and simpler ones like Snakes and Ladders for younger ones. At just five-inches across, each game is super compact, so you'll throw all of them within the car and simply take them along on your next vacation.

Best Car Game for teenagers Who Love Music: Battle of the Bands

If there are music lovers in your family, you'll want to play Battle of the Bands! This free game is particularly fun for middle schoolers and teenagers. One loved one picks a category, something like "songs about my City," "songs about an old flame," or "songs about high school dances." (Make it more specific and artistic for more fun and a much bigger challenge!)

Using an iPod or iPhone, every other loved one takes a turn playing a song that matches the category. The "judge" awards point supported which song fits the category best. Tally up points as you go along and see which loved one would make the simplest DJ.

Regal Game Travel Bingo - car games for teenagers Best Car Game for teenagers Who like to Look Out the Window: Regal Games Travel Bingo

Travel bingo may be a fun new combat the classic "spot the car" road-trip game. These special cards have common road trip items like "truck," "rest area," and "gas station" listed in rows. once you see one among the things, shut the miniature window using your fingertip. Five during a row, as always, means Bingo. This game is right for grade school kids but will easily entertain the whole family, too.

Best Car Game for teenagers Who like to Improvise: Fortunately/Unfortunately

Fortunately/Unfortunately may be a perfect car game for families that enjoy charades, theater, storytelling, and improvisation. One person takes a turn describing a positive scenario that starts with "Fortunately…" The subsequent loved one explores the downside (getting as silly as possible) by describing something that went wrong with the primary person's story. for instance: "Fortunately, I graduated from college." "Unfortunately, it had been clown college, and that I got a D!" alternate getting as creative as you'll, and luxuriate in the laughs!

Our Moments Kids game - car games for teenagers Best Car Game for Shy teenagers: Our Moments, Kids

If you would like to use your road trip as an opportunity to urge to understand your family better, Our Moments may be a game to select up. Each of the 100 cards within the pack includes questions like "Have you ever gotten angry at a friend? How did you handle it?" and "What does one want to be once you grow up?" They're designed as icebreakers, with some a touch deeper than others. It's perfect for reconnecting with kids who might be twiddling my thumbs touch in your after-school chats.

Best Car Game for teenagers Who got to Practice their Letters: Alphabet Categories

This classic car game may be a favorite for folks and youngsters alike and is fun for relations of all ages. Have one person choose a category or genre, like "fruits." Each loved one takes a turn naming an item therein category, within the order of the alphabet. For example, "fruits" could include apples, bananas, cherries, dates, and so on. Take too long to return up with something or repeat something that's already been said and you're out! Once you get through the alphabet, start over with a replacement person taking a turn choosing a special category.

Mad Libs on the Road - car games for teenagers Best Car Game for teenagers Who like to Laugh: Mad Libs On The Road

Mad Libs starts with a story…with a couple of key details missing. This Mad Libs book was written with road-trip themes in mind. But otherwise, it's exactly just like the retro classic: The blanks within the story are designed to be filled out by you, without knowing any context! Mad Libs is one of the simplest car games for teenagers in grade school and secondary school who are learning about grammar and parts of speech, as they need to differentiate between adjectives, nouns, verbs, and adverbs to form the sport work.

Best Car Game for teenagers Who like to Tell Stories: While You Were Sleeping

If a loved one gets some shuteye during your road trip, play a fun game of While You Were Sleeping once they awaken. Each loved one takes a turn telling the story of what happened while the napper was resting. you'll go word by word for extra goofiness, or sentence by sentence if the youngsters want longer for storytelling. The more outlandish the story, the higher. this is often another game that's great for teenagers of all ages.

Connect 4 Grab and go - car games for teenagers Best Car Game for teenagers Who like to Strategize: Connect 4 Grab and go

One of the simplest car games for teenagers who like hands-on activities is that the portable Connect 4 Grab and go. it is a travel-size version of the normal Connect 4 game, during which you are trying to dam your opponent's attempts to attach their red or yellow checkers. When the grid fills up, you begin over. this is often an excellent game for teenagers who tend to urge impatient or antsy if they need to take a seat still for too long.

Best Car Game for teenagers Who like to Test Their Memory: "I'm happening a Picnic"

This is a classic and is ideal for young kids who got to practice their alphabet skills. Everyone takes an address to say, "I'm happening a picnic, and I am bringing…" The item you bring goes in alphabetical order: apples, bananas, cutlery, Doritos, and so on. everyone also has t0 name the previous person's items and every one those that came before them, making it a pleasant memory game also. Make it through the alphabet for a fun, cooperative game that's ideal for preschoolers and kindergarteners.

Brain go after the Car - car games for teenagers Best Car Game for teenagers Who Love Trivia: Brain go after the Car

Love trivia? Your road-tripping family will love Brain Quest! This version, designed specifically for road trips, includes 1,100 trivia questions on America. The questions are built around standard first- through sixth-grade school curricula, making it the right game for that age bracket. Brain Quest is one of the simplest car games for teenagers if you do not want them to slack entirely on learning while you're on vacation.

Best Car Game for teenagers Who like to Count Cows: Cows On My Side

Cows On My Side is one among the simplest car games for teenagers if you're on an extended trip through the countryside. This game may be a little bit of an upgraded version of the normal "Cow!" and "Horse!" exclamations that your kids will probably be declaring from the backseat anyway. the principles are simple: Count the cows (or add other animals to the combination if you want). once you see one, say, "Cows on my side!" After a couple of hours (or however long you're willing to tolerate this) tally up the points…may the foremost cows win!

[lord-lunatic]

Ren 2.0

 After a midnight bath wit Rens playlist I went back to my old theories (back from December?!) and quickly came to the conclusion that these need some updating.

Here’s your update @vagueenthusiast @d20error

1. Alcatraz:

“Prison is home”

I still think this is about Rens house. We knew it was like a prison for him back then, now we know it was a straight up horror house.

Masses of animals, beasts, celestials, fiends, goblins,... all to break them and to change them. 

Ren was a part of a family and he also wasn’t. It takes a while for a child to understand that things like torture are not normal. It takes a while to figure out what your mom is doing behind those closed doors. Ren did not always fight his family and sometimes he couldn’t fight them.

“Bulletproof vest my only clothing”

It seems that Ren at least tries to not let anything too close to him. Within his family taking things even harder than they already were probably would have killed him. His family seems to have been pretty cold hearted and I feel like Ren has some of that coldness well.

Rens family liked dominance over other creatures and breaking them over and over again. Somehow I feel like they broke their children as well. Just a feeling.

2. Between the bars

I feel like Ren spent part of his time in his home in the cages that they normally kept the beasts in. As a punishment or lesson or both I don’t know. But I can imagine Ren talking to the animals and beasts and other beings he sees. Whispering between the bars. Promising himself to one day be free and free everyone and everything from the cages he hated so much.

Drink up with me now and forget all about The pressure of days, do what I say And I'll make you okay and drive them away The images stuck in your head

Drink up, baby, look at the stars I'll kiss you again, between the bars

Honestly I don’t know if I was just completely oblivious the first time I listened to the playlist but I’ve only recently began thinking about D20error’s characters and love. And keeping possible romance in the back of my head while listening to the playlist definitely opened some more doors.

I feel like Ren definitely had some kind of romantic relationship during his time that he still lived in Higash, possibly someone within the cages. We know that his family took in humanoids as well as beasts.

Ren tried to help the hurt humanoids more than anything else, he tried to bring them food and water. But he wasn’t allowed to be caught doing it.

So having a relationship with someone within the cages is probably another thing best to be kept secret.

Honestly I feel like saying anything else than yes and amen probably resulted in some kind of punishment for him.

When the gang went to see the divination lady Ren wanted to know if a specific person, Ember, was still alive/ what they were doing tonight. I can only imagine this being the person Ren loved. Although upon hearing that they in fact were still alive Ren said nothing more than “Oh”

Does that mean Ren thought they were dead, were they in the house when it burned, did he believe them dead even before that.

The one question that always came with Ren for me was why he stayed so lnog with that family that he hated so much and that obviously didn’t have a lot of love for him. I feel like this might be another answer. 

There weren’t a lot of people who knew about what was going on in the house of Anga’elin and leaving meant leaving everyone and everything down there to their fate. 

3. Dancing in the moonlight

The moon seems to be a reoccurring motive in Ren’s story.

Disobeyed another warning I should have been home by ten I won't get out until Sunday I'll have to say I stayed with friends But it's a habit worth forming If the means justify the ends

Apart from that I can only imagine this song also partly being about the relationship he possibly had. 

4. Smother

I want him but we're not right

For my bones have found a place To lie down and sleep Where all my layers can become reeds All my limbs can become trees All my children can become me

Yeah no I must have been completely oblivious.

Another theory of mine actually is that Ren’s family did find out about about his relationship or at least did know about a special connection between him and one of the prisoners (for a lack of a better term I’m gonna use prisoner). They knew he was helping others (Ren said he was being punished if he was caught helping). And Rens s/o disappeared from view and Ren believed them to be dead. I find it hard to believe that Ren would have just left them behind when the house finally burned down.

Also just to say it again Rens family reaaally sucks.

It must be a weird position, being part of that family and being a prisoner part of the time as well. Trying to help while having to fight not be pushed to bring those same wounds and scars to yet another creature.

I love this song a lot. 

5. The chain

Still not too sure what to make of this song. 

I can still see the chain being the bond between him and his family, the reason he never really could leave. 

Lyrics like “damn your love, damn your lies” lead me to believe that it is about them rather than about a possible s/o. 

Then again to speak of “love” in any way when talking about Ren’s family seems a bit off.

But I could imagine it being about Ren’s s/o in another way:

(Hang on to your seats this is gonna be a very hypothetical theory)

What if Ren and his s/o knew that they would have to part ways at some point. What if they knew about the fire or at least that the end of the Anga’elin’s was kinda close, maybe even were somehow involved in the planning of that (Ren has Arsonists lullaby in his playlist and I said it before that I think he has something to do with it). What if Ren planned on going down in flames with his family.

The chain being the bond between them that they wouldn’t break no matter what happened and if they ever saw each other again.

Then again I can also see Ren believing his s/o already dead when the fire came. 

I’m really unsure about these two theories but yeah, just to have put those thoughts in here.

6. The war

The fire.

Rather than what I said before (it being a song either before or immediately after the fire)  I think it’s about the moments when the house burned.

Ren is conflicted. Scared, relieved, confused,...

Here stands a man at the bottom of a hole he's made still sweating from the rush his body tense his hands, they shake oh this, this is a mad boy

I still think he had something to do with the fire so guilt probably mixes in with the rest.

Don't you ever leave me alone my war is over be my shelter from the storm my war is over

Ren has been fighting his family for a loooooong time and suddenly they’re gone and his “war is over” in a way.

Now all he’ll ever do is run.

The last time I said these lines could be about Nora. I still think it’s possible, but at the moment of the fire she was just that librarian girl that happened to save him from a fire (that he possibly didn’t necessarily even want to be saved from). So it still seems a bit off.

Again they could be about the s/o though this seems even more unlikely because Nora saved Ren specifically in the library, meaning he probably was alone in that moment. I don’t think they saw each other again after the fire. So there’s no shelter to be had.

7. Arsonists lullaby

When I was a child, I heard voices Some would sing and some would scream

I mean... his family broke creatures. Ren probably heard A LOT of voices in those rooms.

When I was a child, I'd sit for hours Staring into open flame Something in it had a power Could barely tear my eyes away

All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash

I feel like Ren wanted to see his family gone for a long time. 

But it took some time for it to become true.

When I was a man I thought it ended When I knew love's perfect ache But my peace has always depended On all the ashes in my wake

If Ren found some kind peace in being with his s/o maybe that would have been reason enough to stay with his family for longer than he wanted to. (I imagine he’d probably hang on to that one positive thing he has, running away never really seemed like an option I think knowing that his family had a whole network of people working with them, so he probably would have been found rather quickly). But if that person was gone for whatever reason...

I said it before but I’ll say it again: He wanted his “family” dead and gone in some way.

8. Run

No change of theories here. I know why it’s in here.

9. Leaves, trees, forest

And my heart is a ghost And he drinks and he smokes And he keeps me awake All through the night my heart shakes

But he’s not okay. After being freed from his cage he now is caught in this constant state of running.

Worrying. 

Is s/o still alive? Will he ever see them again? 

What will happen to him? Are he and Nora gonna survive the next day?

I know there is hope but I can't look for it

Their situation seems hopeless. They can’t run forever, yet they can’t stop running.

Oh out in the woods Out in the field, it's a hard rains fall Rust on the wheels of my ten speed And I ride in the lane And the lane is a wind and it keeps me sane

But as long as they are moving, somethings happening. They escape whoever might be following but also lose their thoughts for a while. 

There are leaves in the trees, there are trees in the forest

And that’s about the only thing that stays the same.

I feel like this song could be about something more specific that we don’t know about yet. So I’m just gonna stay tuned.

10. Leaving on a jet plane

I'm standin' here outside your door I hate to wake you up to say goodbye But the dawn is breakin' It's early morn

There's so many times I've let you down So many times I've played around I tell you now, they don't mean a thing

I’m not really changing my theories for this one. I still think it’s about the moment Ren left Nora with nothing but a note to say goodbye.

So kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you'll wait for me Hold me like you'll never let me go

Again it could be about a possible s/o but it feels like it’s a weird place in the order of the playlist to have it that far in the end. 

But maybe something happened with them later on and we just don’t know about that yet. 

11. In dreams

Always a riddle in the world she says Always a riddle inside my head Always a thing to wonder the way we come to be Oh it's a big old place for me, yeah it's a big old world indeed Everyone is killing me and everything conspires

Everything that happened when Ren was unconscious while being sick was a whisper so I’m not gonna say much. But I think it’s about those dreams and visions.

Oh in dreams I have watched it spin Seen a violent crack of atoms were all that comes in Oh in dreams I saw Aesop's kin Just a carcass of a man, I belong inside his skin

His family.

I live alone, I live a lonely life without you

His s/o?

And I may be troubled but I'm gracious in defeat

12. Meet me in the woods

Another song about the visions?

I took a little journey to the unknown And I come back changed, I can feel it in my bones 

I fucked with the forces that our eyes can't see Now the darkness got a hold on me

I mean he literally changed his goals after he saw that lady with the white hair, he wants to go where she told him and I think he listens to her.

I have seen what the darkness does (Say goodbye to who I was) I ain't never been away so long (Don't look back, them days are gone) Follow me into the endless night (I can bring your fears to life) Show me yours and I'll show you mine (Meet me in the woods tonight)

Yeah, the truth is stranger than my own worst dreams

I think he’s also a bit confused, because he doesn’t really know who she is. But she seems to guide him towards something good.

Holy darkness got a hold on me

I just feel like it fits.

13. I’ll be good

I never meant to start a fire I never meant to make you bleed

If he knew about the fire, he’s also in a way responsible for Nora losing her home and probably everything she loved. He never meant to hurt her. He didn’t even know about her at that point. I just don’t think that he ever even thought about anyone actually liking this house that meant pure hell for him.

Grace is just weakness Or so I've been told I've been cold, I've been merciless But the blood on my hands scares me to death Maybe I'm waking up today

As much as Ren tried to fight his family he was a part of them in a way and as I said before I don’t think he was always able to fight them. He caused pain and saw people suffer. A lot.

For all of the light that I shut out For all of the innocent things that I doubt For all of the bruises I've caused and the tears For all of the things that I've done all these years And all Yeah, for all of the sparks that I stomped out For all of the perfect things that I doubt

I'll be good, I'll be good

But he’s trying to be better now. 

Trying to learn how to people.

Again Ren’s “He’s a dick but he’s trying” anthem

14. With a little help from my friends

Oh, i get by with a little help from my friends mm, i get high with a little help from my friends mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

He is part of a group now and slowly learning how that works. 

And I think that he’s slowly beginning to actually like these people. Though of course he will not admit that.

They’re all helping each other to get through this mess. At least they didn’t die yet.

15. The woods

We're all falling and We need a place to hide A safe place somewhere in the woods We can start the fire

They all have their stories, their secrets but they are writing their own stories now.

And we leave it all behind Can't you see we need some time? And we all sit around the fire We feel a little warmer now

It’s all new and weird but at least they’re not alone anymore.

I still think it’s about TAVRN what can I say.

--------

There are probably some typos in there and parts of this were written at 4 am so excuse my grammar as well.

This was meant to be a small update but somehow ended i me rewatching all the important Ren scenes and crying a little. I love this angsty elf boy.

Can’t wait to find out more about him.