#i have an unhealthy amount of info on this

[dr-cruces]

I find it very interesting how Judas and Jesus, in their darkest hour, are depicted giving birth during medieval times. The reactions to both are different, delivering evil and rebirth. I don’t suppose it could be a nice metaphor for the mistress and the madonna.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for breaking up with my boyfriend because he likes my body?

TW for ED but please hear me out:

My bf (30m) and I (28f) have been together for a little over 5 years. When we got together I had an extremely stressful and physically demanding job. Shortly after our relationship started I relapsed with an eating disorder that had been a problem since prepubescence; I started restricting heavily at age 11 and had struggled with it on/off since then.

After quitting that terrible job and regaining some agency in my life, I spent a couple of years really focused on recovery. Without giving specific numbers (cause triggering) I'll say that I was extremely underweight to an unhealthy level for at least a year and experienced severe health complications because of it. I nearly died from heart problems and had a big wakeup call that caused me to change my whole life. I've done the work of recovery without medical help (history of omission with doctors) but have had support from my bf, and am currently at the highest weight of my life.

at a recent checkup my Dr talked a lot about "healthy lifestyle" and mentioned my weight gain over the past couple of years. I'm still within the "normal" range for my height and build, but the after visit summary/chart notes denoted risk of becoming overweight. Idk if my Dr would have brought it up if my history of ED was in my chart, (and I did switch primary care practices a few years ago, so they weren't treating me at my thinnest) but it still shook me a bit and I will admit to feeling very triggered.

The job I moved to is quite sedentary compared to the previous terrible one - I wfh, and very rarely have to be on my feet or do strenuous activity. In addition, I have chronic pain issues that make exercise difficult, and so historically have just restricted to maintain/lose weight because it's easier for me physically to just be hungry than to work out. I didn't want to go down that road again though because of how intense and scary it got last time.

My bf is a personal trainer and specializes in working with low ability clients and people recovering from long illness/injury. When I told him that I wanted to start exercising more often and get a good cardio routine going, he was really excited and started immediately putting together an "action plan" (what he calls it w his clients idk) for me. Then he mentioned how I'd need to add on a bunch of meal supplements and snacks to avoid losing weight and I got upset.

We're a plant-based (vegan) household and live with a roommate (bf's friend) so mostly eat/cook communal dinners and have various breakfast & lunch plans on hand, so we already eat pretty healthy and make sure to have a good balance of macro/micro in the meal plan. My intent was to eat the same but increase my activity level to get out of the danger zone without restricting. I don't generally snack and rarely eat dessert, just the 3 squares.

I told my bf that I needed to lose weight and be more active according to my doctor, and that I wasn't comfortable with having protein supplements, smoothies, and snacks in addition to regular meals because that would defeat the purpose. He got really sad and said that he likes the way my body is now, and while he supports being more active, he doesn't want the size of me to change. His exact words at some point were "you look so good now, I love the amount of you that there is and I like the way you jiggle." It kind of made me feel sick and wonder if he has like a secret size fetish or something?

So I've been thinking of breaking things off with him and moving in with a friend or back in with my parents, but idk if this is actually a red flag or just the disorder talking? He did help me a lot with recovery but if he's going to keep me from being healthy or wants me to gain even more weight then maybe it's better to leave - would this be an asshole move? I honestly don't know.

[trynafindbarbiee]

VOID SUCCESS STORY <3

TW : Abusive family, bullying, suicide attempts!

Before I go straight into my success story I wanna THANKYOU from the bottom of my heart you are my fairy Angel and I love you more than anyone else bestiee :)

I'm sharing this here so everyone can see this

It's been so long since I've joined loa community but I always failed to manifest Consciously , I would constantly look for the 3D to change and I literally wasted years to learn how to manifest when it's the most easiest thing in the whole universe. Then luckly I came to know about the void state but I kept on failing I was unhealthy obsessed with the void with this my mental health became even worse I started to feel like not living anymore. I felt anxious very often, then one day I decided to end my life because things were getting terrible everyday. I attempted suicide and it failed and then the very first thing someone told me after this was "it failed because you deserve to live, you deserves the best, you deserves the world" And guess who it was! SHE WAS MY FAIRY ANGEL 🥺 YOU! MY BESTIEE <3 I'm very thankful to have a friend like you

What I've learnt over time is that these feelings are definitely not permanent and this too shall pass YES it hurts and survival feels difficult but the hope I got from my bestie (Barbie) throughout my recovery process is just unmatched, unexplainable especially for someone like me who keeps thinking that things will never get better. At the same time I was living in a abusive household I was being hated by my parents, friends, neighbours And one day IT'S nowhere near as bad as what you'll get, but my mom had a small amount of narcissist in her. SHE HELD MY HAND OVER A GAS STOVE because as an 15 year old I wrote something that she disagreed with in my journal. I experienced violence with my mother and father beating each other. Seeing drugs being used and knowing that there was something bad and wrong. I also seen my mother having sex with other men and once heard her having sex and I thought she was being beaten.As I got older, I began questioning her medieval methods. Whenever I brought it up, She would always say that she did it for my own good, or that she was showing me how the real world was like. As a baby, I was ferberized. I was sent to a daycare from the moment I could walk. My mother would often punch and slap me in the face, and so I developed a reflex where I put my hands near my head in defense if anyone raises their hands. I have been bullied and ridiculed.

I have overconsumed info to a point where I even started doubting bloggers and loa but then I met my fairy Angel, my life, my bestieeeee 🥺💗 Everyone, let me tell you all of you one thing that she's a real life Angel I swear! She was there with me when my own family was against me, she helped me through my toughest times, she never let me down, she took care of me like a big sister. I'M BLESSED TO HAVE A FREIND LIKE YOU CUTIE PIE <3! we started journey together and she entered the void but I was still struggling. When she messaged me telling that she did it I literally jumped out of my bed and cried, cried and cried I WAS SO HAPPY FOR HER. I got superrrr motivated after that so I took her advice and tried to enter the void once more but I still failed, I didn't enterbut she kept me motivated . She showed me the things and her mansion that she manifested so that I don't doubt void anymore and I'm so grateful to you for that . She told me to try to wake up in the void instead of entering I again listened her and tried and guess what! SHAMEFULLY I again failed , I was giving my power to a method, I didn't realize how powerful I AM.

After all the failed attempts I called Barbie and talked to her for 4 hours straight I told her all the things that were going on in my life and I cried a lot and even Barbie got emotional too and she cried for me I can't forget that day ever 🙂 she told me "Don't worry honey! It's never too late, I'll enter void for you and after that you will be free of all this bullshit" THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY LIKE I WAS NOT EXPECTING THISSSSSSS :) she already did so much for me and still she wanted to help me out, this is why I call you my Fairy Angel <3

And next day she did enter for me and affirmed that I'll wake up in the void but in the morning nothing happened I realized that I didn't woke up there I GOT SO DISCOURAGED and I told this to her and she said that I have to assume that I'll wake up in the void unless it will not work 🙁 I literally Slapped myself for doing such a stupid thing Not assuming that I'll wake up in the void :( But she again entered for me and again affirmed for me Like? How can someone be so nice?

AND THAT NIGHT I DID WOKE UP IN THE VOID 😩💗 I felt so relaxed there, I was in a whole dark space I manifested everything that I wrote in my journal , I was beyond happy that morning when I woke up in my dream apartment the first thing I did after seeing myself in my dream house was that I messaged barbie that WE DID IT 🥺 !!

Y'all are very lucky to have my bestie here , I love you honey, ily so much <3 God literally sent you for me

Sending you so much love, hugs and wet kisses 🤭

~ your beloved 🎀

The most beautiful SUCCESS STORY I ever saw !

Thankyou bub for sharing your story here too ♡

My eyes got wet while I was reading this :) like you are so sweet and strong! ily too and I always will and no need to thank me..Your life was exactly like mine bef I entered the void , I also experienced all this bullshit so I could understand your situation that's why I helped you so, no need to thank me 💗 You should thank yourself bc everytime u felt like ending ur life , everytime u felt like giving up YOU made it through... so thank youself honey ! <3 I'M SO PROUD YOU MAHH BESTIEEE

You also played a vital role in my journey !

I've been through a lot. I have been through things that I didn't even told u . I have been through things that I haven't told anyone . Because of the things that I've been through, I used have an EXTREMELY hard time trusting people. I used to overthink abt how to talk to you and share my feelings without making you feel bad or you thinking I'm dramatic. I don't know how to talk to you without it being awkward but not only u listened me but motivated me also even when u r going through the toughest time in ur life.... Yes I have so many friends But you r someone special , I love you differently than I love my any other friend. Yes we've been through hell. And it's been insane. But still we are together! ily ♡

Idk how do I put my happiness into words :) I'M JUST SO PROUD OF YOU

Enjoy ur life to the max <3

Want me to manifest for you too?

[psuedosugu]

You know something I've noticed? Yeah, Nifty is your typical yandere but can we talk about Vox? You technically don't even have to request him as a yandere unless you want it to be romanticized toward you and/or further explored because according to ALL of the recent regular Vox x readers (and the show itself), he clearly has many traits of one especially toward Alastor. He acts like a toxic, jealous ex 😂 He cyberstalks people for one, he's manipulative, insecure (this is where possessiveness and jealousy tends to stem from), doesn't take rejection well as we heard from Al, is capable of being obsessed with someone, and an overall control freak. He wants to keep the Vees' image and everything looking perfect. Imagine this guy being attached to you. An absolute nightmare. Never any privacy, eyes and ears everywhere, can teleport with or without a screen, blackmail is 100% on the table as well as other tactics, and constant validation for him whether your relationship is forced or not. What sucks about the last part is that it's a double-edged sword. If you fuel his ego, he's enabled but if you don't give him enough attention, he'll try harder and tighten his hold on you. So while Val absolutely horrible, it's like you can never win with Vox. Not when you don't have equal power and he's stated to be very strong. Especially these days, tech is an absolute must since even jobs heavily rely on it. Life and the afterlife here is much harder without a smartphone. He's literally a TV. He wants to be watched and noticed.

So he'll get it.

exactly brooo

cw: themes of manipulation, blackmail, and toxic, controlling relationships.

gender neutral

:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:

ੈ✧̣̇ || honestly atp he’s practically a canon yandere.

ੈ✧̣̇ || i kinda talked about this before but i feel like he would manipulate reader into thinking that they need him when its the other way around

ੈ✧̣̇ || as u said, he’s insecure as hell and he needs someone to boost his ego and make him look superior

ੈ✧̣̇ || he also needs some source of stability in his (after) life which is where you come in.

ੈ✧̣̇ || hed also never let things go or get over you.

ੈ✧̣̇ || he started beef with a dude that he hadn’t seen in 7 whole years, for gods sake 😭

ੈ✧̣̇ || bro will start fights over things that happened months ago and are over now done with

ੈ✧̣̇ || he also craves control, not only will he spy on you through your electronics but he’ll also try and control other things that he has no business controlling like what you wear, who you talk to, ect.

ੈ✧̣̇ || if you mention your concerns about it he’ll try and back off, but hes just so paranoid that something will happen to you even though he knows you’re capable of taking care of yourself.

ੈ✧̣̇ || he needs to feel like he’s needed.

ੈ✧̣̇ || he also exerts his control by threatening you with blackmail, wether it be secrets that you told him or pictures.

ੈ✧̣̇ || not like you don’t have a fair amount of dirt on him too, though.

ੈ✧̣̇ || he’d definitely fight a bitch for you, if you’re getting threatened, stalked, and/or harassed by someone (that isnt him ofc) said person better prepare for his wrath.

ੈ✧̣̇ || hes a whiny ass bitch which is either annoying or hot depending on who you ask and what the context is.

ੈ✧̣̇ || its also kind of confusing how he acts, he’ll be practically ignoring you one second and begging for your attention the next.

ੈ✧̣̇ || another reason why he’s so scared of you leaving is because of how vulnerable he’s been to you.

ੈ✧̣̇ || he’s told you things that he’s never told anyone, shown parts of him that no one has ever seen, and the thought of what you could do with this info if you ever were to turn on him makes him feel sick to the stomach.

ੈ✧̣̇ || despite how it feels sometimes he really does care about and love you, he just has an unhealthy mindset when it comes to love.

ੈ✧̣̇ || perhaps you should stay around (not like u rlly have a choice), teach him how to love someone properly. you wont regret it :)

:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:

i do requests!

check out my masterlist!

[cannedkopi]

After obsessing about the season 3 Kathony teaser for over a day now, I have the following observations:

I am pretty sure that the kiss was something Anthony wanted to do back during that country dance at the Harmony Ball. Both times we get that laughter and twirl! So where are the gifs comparing these two scenes? And why am I not skilled enough to make them myself?

The expression on Anthony’s face is the same he had when Kate arrived at Aubrey Hall. Again, I should consider learning how to make bloody gifs...

Kate looks so bloody gorgeous in that dress, it should be illegal! However, it appears to be waaaaay too modern. I mean, seriously, even as someone whose entire knowledge about Regency dress comes from watching an unhealthy amount of YouTube videos and googling, I can see that the silhouette is not Regency at all. And yes, I have seen the comments, that it appears to play into her Indian heritage, and I do hope this was indeed the intention behind it (if, so, then awesome and everything makes sense!), because otherwise, I will be very disappointed with the Bridgeton costume department. I never expected them to be historically accurate, but come on!

Anthony’s waistcoat matches Kate’s dress and that is just so, so brilliant!

Overall, Kate looks so much more mature in this teaser. In season 2, she was visually still this young girl and now she looks like the grown woman and viscountess that she is. And it’s awesome.

Anthony is now actually even tempered when it comes to his sister’s debut! Can you imagine Daphne asking for a moment to herself and season 1 Anthony being all “of course”? No? Neither can I.

No gloves AND a kiss (and that cheeky, cheeky grin!)! My, my Lord and Lady Bridgeton might be married bit this is still sooo very much improper! Please give us more of that in season 3!

I am excited for Francesca! She seems to be so different from both Daphne and Eloise and I am all there for it!

I think I have spotted Lord Debling in the background. Mhm....

I feel kind of sad for Penelope, standing there all by herself and clearly feeling very much self-conscious. And this seems to be the same ball from the previous teaser with Pen telling Colin off!  Interesting.

Polin fans, I feel you that you are disappointed that there was no Polin content this time around. I get it because this is how us Kathony fans felt after the last live event, when we did not even get the smallest bit of info on our ship. Like nothing! Zero! Nada!

I know this I totally not going to happen, but I still want Kathony to get as much screen time as that damn Featherington heir/ ruby mine scam plot in season two. I will be more than just happy if we get that (but yeah, I am a realist...).

[flowers-for-em]

Hiii im Emma the amount of fandoms I'm in is concerning. The amount of books i'm writing at once is also concerning. Point is you should just be concerned, enjoy your stay at my blog - here is a piece of cake 🍰

-> Im Emma/Ems or whatever nickname u want to give me I love giving people nicknames and petnames. Basic info -> She/her, minor, capricorn, intj, australian, ferrari girl, i will defend my babies warnette and evajacks until i die, a believer in sarcasm, i post about my writing sometimes, sometimes - cause im too lazy to write, im an ambivert and a joey lynch and damon torrance defender

Books -> [series] The inheritance games, acotar, shatter me, the folk of the air, pjo [im new to the fandom] the prison healer, caraval, ouabh, dance of theives, divine rivals, boys of tommen, the lunar chronicles, the red queen, the naturals, six of crows, devils night, boys of tommen [standalone] Better than the movies, the do over, betting on you (basically anything by lynn painter), the cheat sheet, powerless, the summer of broken rules and A LOT more. 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 Music -> taylor swift, gracie abrams, [recently getting into] maisie peters, tate mcrea, sadie jean, a little of lana del rey, chase atlantic, artic monkeys, guns and roses, conan gray. my music is all over the place lmao. 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 Movies/tv shows -> friends, b99, babysitters club, alexa and katie, fuller house, now you see me 1&2, oceans 11,12&13, knives out 1&2, mamma mia, adam project, red notice, enola holmes, and pretty much most chick flicks 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 Other -> rain <3, christmas, baking/cooking, art -> I paint, sketch, and draw, whenever I feel like it. I mostly draw though. 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 Moodboards -> I love making moodboards here is the masterlist 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝Writing -> i have a few side blogs but my public writing blog is @the-ballad-of-us and i also have a secret one see if you can find it ;)

Misc -> my dream life is to runaway to paris or new york and open up a bookstore/cafe/flower shop. (and to be the rich hot aunt the everyone loves), I want to travel when I'm older! [places] -> London, Paris, Italy, Greece, Turkey, Sweden, Germany, New York, Bahamas, Japan, Korea, and a bunch more!, I spend an unhealthy amount of time on Pinterest and Tumblr, 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 -> If we're moots, we're best friends, no takes backs. -> I over use lmao, lol, <3, :), and 😭 too much. im trying not to come on too strong and be rude lol (right there see? perfect example) -> My Wattpad -> My Pinterest -> I love talking to new people, and asks and dms (only for minors unless i agree to it :)) are always open <3 -> i most likely won't follow you back if you don't have an intro post, but if you want to get to know me just send me an ask :) 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

Special people ->@skeelly - kris, @percabeths-blue-cookies - har, @a-beautiful-fool - lou lou, @moonlightt444 - mare bear, @nqds - nadsies, @mqstermindswift - nicky, @lost-in-reveriie - addy, @art-of-fools - mr o'hare, @reminiscentreader - jas, @myster3y - my wifey kiara, @sophiesonlinediary - soph, @deprivedofbraincellsandsleep - zia, @runwiththerain - ives, @doyoujustnotwantto - mihane, @that-multi-fandom-hijabi - nova my world manipulation partner, @hijabi-desi-bookworm - esme, @gergthecat - scout, @baboland - aria, @missedyour21st - fay, @daydream-of-a-wallflower - kat + all my other moots that i didn't tag but rlly wanted too [if you want to be added or removed just let me know!! <333

𓆝 this is a safe space for everyone!! ↳ Dni - if you're a racist, homophobe, sexist, pedos, ect..

love ya all <3

Emma

[mommycity]

this is probably because im hungry rn but i cannot stop thinking about how well fed suguru would keep you :((

that man is a DAMN good cook he can fuck it up in the kitchen so of courseee hed whip up whatever you want when your pudgy tummy starts growling and you whine for something from your boyfriend

if youre tired after work/uni/whatever, hed handfeed food to you because he just feels so bad that his baby had to deal with an empty stomach!!! suguru just loves you so much!!!!!!!

going off of that tummy grabber post you made, if youve eaten too much hed lay you between his legs on the couch, put a nice show on, and then rub your midsection (more like gently grope) until it all goes away. then hed probably squeeze and massage you a little more, just in case :)

if you ever get a sudden craving, no matter where the two of you are or what time it is, he WILL go out and buy you whatever you want. 10pm and you want a whole gallon of extra sugary ice cream? hes giving you a kiss and embarking on his journey. 7am and you want a big pasta dish? the search bar is already open and hes looking for nearby italian restaurants. 2pm and your just had lunch but youre still hungry for breakfast? the waffle iron is heating up and hes making the batter from scratch.

theres also leftovers. always. not because neither of you could finish it (sugurus cooking is just so good you think youd be seated at the dining table and be filling yourself up for hours) its so you can always have something to heat up whenever you get hungry and never have to worry about tiring yourself out with a complex meal.

all of this pampering shows on you, of course, but you dont mind. suguru is very appreciative of the extra layers of fat and shows it almost everyday. whether it be through coming up behind you and grabbing wherever the most weight is and jiggling it a bit as a greeting, giving you a kiss on the fullest part of your cheek, buying you tight clothes that show everything off, or having you ride his face (that ones his favorite, he asks for that almost everyday. the other days are booked up by him taking you missionary to watch all the fat in your body ripple everytime he pounds into you)

hes such a gentleman. everytime you feel like doing a food crawl through the various restaurants in tokyo, hell pay for all of it. even if you get all the extra sides and fillings, two sugary drinks, and the biggest and most expensive serving, hell look at you with heart eyes and swipe his card.

obviously, with all the food being put into your belly, youd want him to have some too!!! an effort is made to share with suguru, and he accepts. before, he had an average amount of fat to muscle ratio, but with a combination of your love for food and some tweaks to his workout routine, he ends up with chub lining his thighs, tummy, chest, and arms. of course he adores it, its a physical reminder of how much the two of you love each other :)))

when both of you are sleepy, hungry, and horny at the same time, suguru will have you gently ride him on the couch (hes helping you go up and down carefully) as he feeds you a variety of your favorite snacks and an uncomplicated dinner that he can easily bring to your mouth and his. maybe theres a movie on in the background, maybe hes murmuring words dripped in honey into your ear as you both fatten yourselves while in the throes of pleasure.

suguru just likes when he and his partner are plump, full, and happy. what can he say?

AUGHHHH OP I ALMOST CAME UNTOUCHEDDDD everything is so true.

Not only that real and true info, his way of comforting would be so endearing, albeit a bit unhealthy. He’s talking you through all of your stressors and then providing you with all of the sweetest treats that make you smile. His big hands smooth your hair as you eat so you can simply focus on the taste and nothing more. But sometimes it gets him going!!! Seeing you so focused and content, so pleased with just stuffing your face makes him wanna stuff you with something else. He can’t help the way he feels warm when you look at him after finishing the plate. His dick is jumping leaps and bounds at the white icing that has stickied your lips. Lord help him!!! He might buss if you kiss him with your sugar lips

[glaciertea]

Masterlist here~

Tales the Songs Weave

>>Ch.2

Summary: Miguel O'Hara is a leader. A leader who doesn't let anyone or anything distract him from the tasks at hand.

He's focused, unwavering, and ruthless.

But what happens when he abruptly pulls away from his territory and wanders into an unknown playing field he hasn't faced in forever?

Many say love holds no bounds, but how much will he be willing to break for you?

Word count: 1.5K

Chapter 1: You're A Natural, Living it so Cutthroat

My name is Miguel O'Hara.

I'm this dimension’s one and only 

Spider-Man… at least I thought I was… 

but I'm not like the others. 

“...el.”

I do things that others won't be able to do.

“...uel!” 

I've seen things that others will never see.

“...iguel!”

And I've given up too much to stop now…

“MIGUEL!”

A familiar voice sprung him out of his inner reflections as he snarled, snapping his head back at the figure below.

Jess crossed her arms over her growing pregnant stomach, glaring at her brooding boss. Her neck slightly craned, wondering why his platform must be at the highest point instead of closer to any subordinate that has the pleasure of communicating with him. 

“I'm here to give the reports for today's anomalies that were captured.”

Miguel twisted his body towards his dozens of monitors cascading, entrapped all over. A grunt escaped his throat as his eyes darted from screen to screen, typing away at whatever was tossed onto him. 

His second in command sneered, rolling her eyes at the permanently irritated man. 

Though it gets to a point where one is used to his tendencies. This is just who he is. The burden that copious amounts of spiders have to compromise with.

“Also, there's been a recent increase in anomalies as of late. Rampant even. We were wondering if we could get any input on that.” Jess clicked at her watch, sending the information to her ill-tempered leader, wanting to get this over with as much as him.

“Later.” Miguel refused to gaze behind him.

“Actually, I would prefer now so we can get a semi-head start on th-”

“I said later!” Miguel barked, going over the notes he received.

Jess scoffed, resting her hands on her hips. She wasn't going to allow him to speak to her in any sort of way. Jess is one of the few with the ability to pierce through Miguel's ‘bullshit.’

“As I said, I'm going to need that info ASAP. Presumably after you're done with those documents. Thank you.” She drolly spoke.

Before Miguel could offer a rebuttal, Jess was already making her exit out of his space, refusing to deal with him anymore for the time being. The man twitched as his claws dug through his metal desk. There's never any rest for the wicked, yet this is the life he must heed. The precedents he exposed to himself and those underneath his wing. 

He doesn't enjoy this harrowing cold stature, but it's the only manner that will get things done. 

He inhabited the lifestyle he was forced to construct. Harboring all the burdens so the others won't make the same mistakes he committed. The sins that constantly dangle over his head every single second, of every minute, of every day.

That perpetual reminder of what and who he is. 

Miguel lingered at his workstation for another hour and a half, as he found unhealthy comfort being close by it. If he never unoccupied his space, work will always be completed in functioning order. He begrudgingly issued data and charts towards Jessica, mostly as an excuse for her not to return and harass him any further. 

His tasks were going smoothly. No interruptions, no trivial disturbances from the other heroes. All was fluid sailing on his end. 

And that was very off-putting for him, but he decided to brush it off.

Ten minutes passed by as Miguel decided to view the footage of him and Gabi, the main reason why any of this exists in the first place. His main reminder to abide by is to focus on the main goal at hand. 

Keeping the multiverse safe. 

A miniscule smile began to form as the video rewinded and began to play… until the orange iridescent screens dimmed off. Silence rang throughout his area. Then a shattering crash of glass sprinkling surrounded the air.

“Lyla!”

The tiny hologram teleported in the air, casually waving her fingers as if she hadn't witnessed her creator violently hurl a computer at the wall. 

“Heya boss, what's the fi- hey, hey whoa!” Miguel's claws went to snag Lyla as she rapidly flickered several feet away from him.

“Isn't that a bit unnece-”

“¡¿Qué carajo pasó?!” He rammed his fist down onto the heavily abused desk.

“Uh, did you forget? Undergoing system maintenance today.” The A.I. brought up a digital calendar with a date circled in pink glitter marker and heart stickers surrounding it. 

Only a scowl etched across his already disdainful face. This wasn't helping Lyla's case at all. Lyla tapped her nail on the date, only increasing Miguel's fury. 

“The twelfth? Which is today?” She gestured toward the number.

His expression didn't waver. He should have been one of the first to be alerted about this. 

“Why wasn't I advised?!” Miguel hissed enough for spittle to fly out. 

Work needed to be done. Required. He doesn't have time for any delays; he must be the one to upkeep the endeavor of the headquarters. The multiverse. Everything. 

Lyla shifted her glasses near the bridge of her nose, raising a brow. “You were. In fact, you were the very first to attain that scheduling because you appointed the date, Miguel.”

He made an effort to recall, but the more he dug, the memories refused to pop up. Prepared to refute and prone Lyla for her attempts to gaslight him, she came equipped with several angles of Miguel hunched over, deep within some tasks as usual. 

The displayed date in the top left corner was a week prior, as a cautious Spider-Byte scrolled up to the high-rise platform. The teen announced her presence, only to be greeted with completely nothing. Spider-Byte clearly struggled to flag down his attention until a jeering ‘what’ sprang out of him. 

"We're still on for the system shutdown on the twelfth, correct?” 

Hushed. Nothing. 

“Yo, are we still on for the-”

Miguel hollered out for Lyla to jot down the time frame for it as the assistant saluted and disappeared.

Miguel dismissed an agitated Spider-Byte who threw her arms up, murmuring underneath her breath as she vacated the area, clearly refusing to deal with him any longer.

Lyla blipped the feed away and leaned back, crossing her legs as if she were pretending to be seated in a chair.

“So, you have the rest of tonight unofficially officially off just like the others. So… have fun!” Lyla retreated, abandoning him in solitude. 

That made sense as to why Miguel wasn't disturbed for the last duration of his work period. No one was essentially able to commute to the HQ. He remained static for a few minutes. The solemn, stagnant atmosphere was the only element left. There was an occasional whirring of a machine, but there was nothing else.

This isn't something to get used to. Something he wasn't used to.

He slumped himself on the metallic flooring, desolate. When duties aren't demanded, he doesn't exactly know how to handle the implanted turmoil racing deep in his mind. 

He pulled his watch near his face as it only presented his world, the time, and a missed alarm flashing. He pressed the tiny button as a message flashed, warning about the upcoming stoppage. Nearly thirty minutes ago.

Dropping his arm, he observed the bleak, dark-red area. His isolation chamber he relished in a sense. Second nature. But there was a commodity brewing within. A path beckoning him to stray away from his natural setting into an unaccustomed world. 

Gradually, he stood up before dropping off the edge and landing with a solid thunk.

He pressed through the wide corridor that led into his ‘office,’ past the contained anomalies, who thankfully are under a backup program, so they couldn't escape with ease. Stepping into the elevator, he tapped the down arrow, leaning back against the cool glass. 

Was he truly going to do this?

He trudged out until he reached the usual bustling facility, now still with a couple of spider stragglers reserved in their own bubble or quickly converging with one another before moving on with their business.

Some blissfully greeted him as Miguel nodded in acknowledgment when he passed by. Some curious ones eyeballed him, astonished to view him casually teetering around, but chalked it up due to the seemingly night off all the spiders “dolefully” received (many honestly are grateful; relieved for it).

However, numerous heads did rotate dumbfounded when Miguel… treaded out of the establishment with no warning or announcement. 

Clearly, this was one for the books.

Miguel allowed the chill breeze to graze across his face and curly locks as he compelled himself towards a direction. 

Where exactly was his destination?

Usually he appoints on having everything to the point, narrow, clear, and straight cut. But now? He's aimlessly roaming Nueva York's evidently pristine streets, allowing his legs to carry him to an unprecedented location.

He was out of bounds with the routine. Highly so. There undoubtedly had to be a reason for this particular circumstance for him willingly abandoning his homebound post.

• • •

For the puzzled ones, there's a meaning behind a reason. An answer to a question. A cause pursuing the effect, and Miguel surely didn't expect any of it. 

Even the most natural of ones can slip into the most foreign of fates.

[loth-creatures]

I’d love to hear your wall of text about the Sion’s voyage!

Aight, so if there's one thing I hated about the show it's that the journey to a whole ass new galaxy felt like it took 5 minutes. So in my star war it takes roughly 7 weeks and it fucking SUCKS

Disclaimer; this is just a huge mess from my head, nothing is set in stone, and I'm only really planning to comicify the last few parts ;)

Also cw for some implied self-harm ideation, terrible coping mechanisms, deteriorating mental health, violence and injuries (just mentioned, not in detail)

To set the scene, they're using the training/rec room as Sabine’s prison bc Wolfbine is too big for the actual brig lol. Much to the entire crew's irritation. The first week or two they just handcuff her in a corner at blasterpoint whenever they want to use it I guess, and find a closet to lock loose equipment in. At least she gets some entertainment. She probably also gets beat up a few times (you should see the other guy) for commenting on people's techniques. But eventually they decide she probably won't try anything and stop caring she's there, so she's left alone for the most part.

She spends a lot of time working out, bc otherwise she is strongly considering bashing her head into the wall. Having to sit alone as a human and pace in circles as a wolf for days on end with the weight of her decision and all kinds of fresh guilt is doing terrible things to her head...She is also spending a lot of time trying and failing not to sob and scream in the shower when no one's around. There is also a viewport in the rec room and Sabine spends an unhealthy amount of time staring into the rainbow swirl of hyperspace. She can't tell whether or not she's hallucinating the strange shapes that occasionally drift into view, singing strange songs that she can feel more than hear. It reminds her of the ocean and she shudders and dreams of drowning, being crushed by the depths. And she dreams of Ezra alone and lost in this void. There's no easy way to break free of such thoughts when she's essentially trapped in a fish bowl.

Meanwhile, Shin hates Sabine even more now for making her a Wolfwalker. She is not adjusting well to turning into a giant beast every time she tries to sleep and on a cramped vessel with little space to stretch those legs. Having been bitten only just before boarding the Sion, she hasn't had the chance to run wild for miles with the wind in her fur; all she knows is that the journey feels twice as long and horrid when she's consious 24/7. Baylan, on the other hand, is like DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME THIS IS?! YOU SHOULD BE THANKING HER. He's not jealous persay, but. Well. Careful what you wish for...

Wolf Sabine and Shin are both getting major zoochosis smh. It's a miracle Shin hasn't killed a random crew member yet. Wolfbine behaves for maybe a week before she starts chewing up the flooring and howling and screaming husky style just to be a little shit. See how long it takes before someone threatens to shoot her, muzzle her, throw her out the airlock (not long). She can't afford to antagonize the crew too much bc there is only one person on the entire ship who wants her there and he has limited authority. Baylan is quick to remind her of this.

He also makes several attempts to talk to her and get on better terms, as he would like to learn more about the wolves. He tells her of the old fragments of stories of Wolfwalkers he found in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant and his facsination with them and how chasing such tales lead to his other ambitions. Lowkey info-dumping about all the fairy-tales and mythalogical stuff that Shin never took an interest in. Sabine is deathly bored enough to tolerate it to extent, but she is not forgiving him for 'killing' Ahsoka, for digging in her head, for putting her in this situation, and she is absolutely kicking herself for having bitten Shin. For letting anyone affiliated with the Empire close to Lothal's secrets. Too her it's put a deep crack through her promise to protect Lothal, perhaps not as much as having given Thrawn a way home, but she's going to try her damnest to undo that one, and shoves that looming guilt aside as best she can, instead spiraling about the fact that she made Shin a Wolfwalker and short of killing her there is no undoing that. So most of her conversations with Baylan end with telling him to go fuck himself.

Just now realizing I've never gone into detail about why Sabine bit Shin. It was a complete accident. Split second reaction out of pain after taking another small slice from Shin’s lightsaber during their fight on Seatos, which she was able to heal herself but it slowed her down enough for Shin to escape. With a nasty little nip to the arm.

That all said Sabine does not want to kill Shin, in fact she's just starting to feel sorry for her. Shin might be all MY ARCH NEMESIS SABINE WREN, but from the beginning Sabine is just like ugh can this random chick stop making my life harder 🙄

And if she's this miserable as a wolf rn, she can imagine what Shin's going through as a first timer, which is all her fault :( plus the fact that as wolves they are instinctively drawn to other wolves and each of their suffering seems to exacerbate the other's. They are both so lonely. 2 weeks in and (human)Sabine is bored and desperate enough to try heckling Shin into sparring with her, on the rare occasion she passes by (Shin’s been avoiding that room). 3 weeks in and Shin's gotten bored and desperate enough to accept the invitation.

I hc that during a friendly match, most Force-users will refrain from using the Force against a non-Force-user for the most part. Shin is not interested in friendly and absolutely hammers Sabine unless Baylan is there to remind her to play nice. Sabine is fine with this. She wants Shin to use the Force (come at me bro). If anyone's gonna be holding back it's Sabine. She wants to get as familiar as possible with Shin's fighting skill and habits without revealing the full extent of her own, while also slowly learning to anticipate and work around Shin’s use of the Force. That way she'll have an advantage the next time they fight for reals. It's difficult to impossible to hold back though, while still presenting enough of a challenge to keep Shin coming back for more.

While Sabine is more experienced, with a wider range of techniques and more refined skill, Shin is still skilled and powerful and it's hardly a fair fight without her armor and gear. She gets her shit rocked.

Sabine is very rarely able to beat Shin when she's using the Force. But she can withstand her. Many of their fights don't end with a quick, decisive victory so much as Shin just wearing Sabine down until she physically can't fight anymore though she refuses to tap out or surrender. Because for one, it's pissing Shin off, which is fun. And for two, ending the fight means returning to the hell that is sitting alone and staring out that window until it makes her sick in the head. She would kill a man for a single can of paint.

While Shin is toying with Sabine and using her as a bunching bag on the basis that she asked for it, keeps asking for it, doesn't know when to give up, and totally deserves it 😤, she is no easy opponent and Shin is continuously shocked by Sabine's ability to survive her. She was supposed to be just another enemy to tear through, yet has survived two murder attempts, and Shin is now stuck with her on this godforsaken ship for some reason, and she doesn't even have the grace to admit when she's defeated. Unstoppable force has met unmovable object.

Shin simultaneously resents and admires her, though doesn't quite respect her yet. And she definitely fears her a little (though she would never admit that). I kinda get the vibe that Shin’s never really lost a fight, has never truly been left for dead at the end of a battle, and the thought terrifies her. Either she is invincible or she is dead. Meanwhile Sabine can be coughing up blood and she'll be like 'cool see you tmr'✌️😎 The fact that Shin probably deleted one of Sabine's kidneys on Lothal and she seems hardly intimidated is well. Intimidating. And annoying. And hot.

I feel like at some point Baylan would point out that Shin could probably learn a thing or two from Sabine if she would stop beating the shit out of her for two seconds. Shin is already aware of that but doesn't want to admit it.

Meanwhile Sabine just doesn't care anymore what happens to her as long as she lives long enough to get off this accursed vessel, doesn't care how hurt she gets, as long as it passes the time and distracts her from her spiraling thoughts. She's offered a medic multiple times and refuses each time. She doesn't want them seeing the full extent of her injuries and then finding out she can heal herself with the wolf-magic, bc the Empire doesn't need to know about that. She only heals the worst injuries and then gaslights Shin about it. 'You did not break any ribs lol I'm fine quit flattering yourself.' Shin’s like how the fuck are you still standing.

This routine of brutally taking out their frustrations on each other is gonna get old though, and is completely unsustainable. Eventually Shin’s convinced that Sabine is just using her for pain. Which isn't wrong even if it's not the only or even primary reason Sabine keeps asking. Sabine calls her out on fighting like a coward and enjoying hurting her anyway. Shin goes and sulks for a few days after that (not without punching Sabine in face first).

Ok time out. What the hell is Shin’s deal anyway. I have only some half-baked ideas about Baylan and Shin’s...thing. They're like the closest thing we've gotten to 'grey Jedi?' I guess? I've been operating under the assumption that that's what they're essentially trying to be (though it's not what they'd call themselves), something more than Jedi, Baylan says, and that 'more' is just chasing power. They will inevitably fall completely. Probably need to watch the show again to get a better read on them tbh but I would rather not. It will hurt my feelings again :( Baylan is like the mountain. He's calm, he's steady and the darkness erodes him slowly. He thinks he's successfully toeing the line with the dark side, but his faults are most evident in Shin's training. She is like a hurricane. The Force rips through her, chaotic and volatile and her control is iron yet brittle. She hasn't known inner peace a day in her life. She just taught herself restraint in the sense that she suppresses her power until she needs it to plow through her enemies. She will fall far more quickly than her master. Baylan's teachings follow the Jedi's to an extent but once the darkness is let in, those lessons become skewed and contradicted, and Shin is a mess because of it, only mirroring her master's control on the surface. Baylan isn't the worst teacher but he is not a good one. While Shin loves and trusts Baylan, she is getting tired and frustrated following his mysterious whispers of legends to an end he never explains clearly. And she is afraid.

ANYWAY, once Shin’s done sulking, one of these days her and Sabine are gonna have a genuine conversation or two and maybe agree to an actually friendly sparring match in which they agree to not just blindly pulverize each other. They take breaks and drink water and tend to their wounds like adults. And Sabine is like you know, we could just. Hang out. As wolves at least. It would suck sooo much less if you'd come play with me as a wolf xoxo. They slowly transition into a more definitive Truce.

Shin does start hanging out in the rec room as a wolf. Sabine still isn't volunteering info on the wolf magic but she does talk about what its like being wolfwalker in general. They tussel and chase each other around, often getting too rough but also loud enough that someone will come yell at them to stfu before they really hurt each other. It's much easier to take naps as wolves too after they've had a chance to burn some energy which makes the entire ship more peaceful.

However, you can't just be the first vessel in centuries to cross between galaxies and not have some kind of disaster right? Well it turns out the strange shapes out the viewport were not hallucinations. The Sion is essentially traveling through the cosmic deep ocean and there are bigger, older things than even the Purrgil out there. Nothing has an interest in attacking the Sion, but at some point something very large drifts close enough to jolt the Sion off course and shorts out the entire system. This ends up forcing them to drop out of hyperspace in the middle of absolute fucking nowhere.

It takes a few days to get the ship running again and recalculate the jump. And here's where Sabine gets to be a hero and earn some respect around here, bc most of their mechanics are droids which also shorted out and lost power. Seeing as they are at risk of losing life support, they let Sabine help with repairs and turns out she's one of the best mechanics on board, even considering the newer technology she doesn't have as much experience with. This also allows her to get more familar with the ship and find the best places to hide out when she eventually makes her escape, while simultaneously giving the crew more reason to let their guard down on her. Including Shin.

That first loss of power is the worst but there are several more blackouts along the way. Human Sabine and Shin are almost getting along now. They still don't like each other but they are hooking up (it does not fix them), and playing card games by flashlight and truth or dare. Maybe Shin even scrounges up some art supplies for Bean. Now she can pass the time hiding sharpie dicks all over the place. They are almost friends by the time there are three days left in the journey and Sabine is preparing to make her move.

Baylan was probably the one to initiate letting Sabine have her lightsaber to sparr occasionally. He wanted to test her metal as well. I think it would be interesting if they sparred a couple times. Baylan is much more chivalrous than Shin and also goes into teacher mode about sword fighting. Sabine isn't a novice anymore but he's still far more experienced. Shin is like no no no we are not adopting her Dad NO-

So anyway escape day comes, Sabine almost cronches Baylan to death, and Shin is beyond angry. Mostly at herself for letting her guard down enough to allow this to happen, she didn't really expect Sabine to not pull something like this in the end right? It's stupid to feel betrayed when it was so inevitable. She is still 100% gonna take it out on Sabine though, especially for almost killing her master.

Despite the escape attempt, Thrawn lets Sabine go as he does in the show, in the hope that she'll lead them to Ezra’s human body. He figures if anyone could find him, it would be a fellow wolfwalker who considers him dear enough to risk the fate of her entire galaxy. Everyone else is like you're just letting her go?? After all that??? And Thrawn's just like lol what did you expect from her? That's Sabine Wren. They probably do attempt to scan the ship for sabotage but it's so huge and her kyber bomb is so small and rudimentary that they don't find it.

At this point, Sabine is run utterly ragged. Bedraggled even. Having not slept in 2 days,(no room to wolf in the Sion's walls so she just had to stay awake 💀) suffered a heart attack at Baylan's hand, and got beat up by WolfShin again. She's visibly about to collapse and Thrawn's probably like 'do you...want to spend the night before you go? And a medic?' He knows he's most likely sending her to perish in the wilderness anyway, but was hoping to give her at least a chance at finding human Ezra for them. Sabine says hell no I'm getting out of here before you change your mind.

She rides until she actually does collapse, hides her body as best she can and continues as a wolf. She figures they let her go for a reason, and plans to run in erratic circles all night every night to hopefully throw them off, only later investigating any clues she finds as human for a few sporadic hours in the day. Thrawn does send Shin to track her at a distance. If she happens to find the trail of Wolf!Ezra first, kill her. This hunt through the wild will go on for several days at least, before there's any sign of Ezra.

[cocoabeloved]

❛ ♡ WELCOME !! ☕ ୧

↳ જ⁀➴ 🏹 ｡˚ “i want to do something splendid before i go into my castle--something heroic, or wonderful--that won't be forgotten after i'm dead. i don't know what, but i'm on the watch for it, and mean to astonish you all, some day. i think i shall write books, and get rich and famous; that would suit me, so that is my favorite dream.” — JO MARCH, LITTLE WOMEN <33 (my absolute beloved!!)

❝𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋, 𝐒𝐎 𝐈 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋❞

││↳ 🖇️ ⵌ . HI HELLO!! i'm fatmata, 4teen, and a hopeful romantic - this is my blog (aka daily dose of cats, coffee and cynicism) but honestly you can consider this as my personal messy online diary which mostly consists of casual brainrots, miscellaneous shit, random incoherent thoughts or rambles, angry rants, online oversharing or any current hyperfixations or obsessions i have at the moment!! <33 my brain is NATURALLY prone to chaos and always all over the place (sorry for your sanity). i'm also INCREDIBLY self-indulgent, sentimental, full of suppressed rage and can become attached to fictional characters!! :)) 📄

│╰─────────── ·  ·  · ──────────

╰┈➤ [BASIC INFO] -> black • 🇸🇱/🇬🇧 • UK • student • INFJ • nov scorpio • slytherclaw • casual swiftie • major coffee addict (me 🤝 lorelai & rory over being insane over coffee) • PROUD FEMINIST • sacred moonchild • avid reader • CAT LOVER • sunset & sunrise enjoyer • i hate it here by taylor swift as a person!! • philosopher at heart • major english & history lover • middle child • okokok girlie <33 (methinks) • sylvia plath & oscar wilde enthusiast • relate to 'chosen last' by sara kays more than i should • big brown doe-eyed cinephile • HARDCORE MUSIC JUNKIE • olivia rodrigo supporter • self-diagnosed pinterest whore • legally married to spotify • fashionista & lipgloss lover • red nails enthusiast • stationary shops adorer • freddie mcclair apologist FIRST, human second ♡ • probably (NO DEFINITELY) mentally unstable? • professional perfectionist, overthinker & teenage girl-er 25/8 • suffer from an EXTREME case of gifted kid burnout, exam anxiety & identity crisis (so hey that's super fun!!)

╰┈➤ [MAJOR INTERESTS/HOBBIES] -> true crime ➝ music ➝ reading ➝ playlist-making ➝ philosophy➝ media/character analysis ➝ video essays ➝ english literature ➝ greek mythology ➝ dancing ➝ reading ➝ poetic cinema ➝ defending my beloved characters ➝ deep intellectual conversations ➝ greta gerwig films ➝ arts & crafts ➝ FASHION ➝ sleeping ALL day ➝ online shopping but never actually buying anything? ➝ researching random shit on the internet ➝ photography ➝ skincare ➝ crocheting ➝ cooking & baking ➝ studying ➝ writing in planners/organising journals ➝ going to stationary stores ➝ board games ➝ girlblogging ➝ maladaptive daydreaming ➝ scrolling on pinterest/tumblr for unhealthy amounts of time ➝ making moodboards ➝ etc. (but i also DESPERATELY want to learn the electric guitar because it's def the best instrument to ever exist?!)

╰┈➤ 🎧 [ARTISTS] -> taylor swift, lana del rey, olivia rodrigo, gracie abrams, conan gray, sabrina carpenter, beabadoobee, maisie peters, mitski, cigarettes after sex, sza, brent faiyaz, beyonce, reneé rapp, ABBA, melanie martinez, tv girl, marina, doja cat, the smiths, fleetwood mac, nirvana, rihanna, ariana grande, adele, lorde, mac demarco, phoebe bridgers, avril lavinge, boygenius, the cranberries, suki waterhouse, fiona apple, clairo, billie eilish, madison beer, kali uchis, girl in red, arctic monkeys, radiohead, mazzy star, harry styles, the neighborhood, roar, alex g, pinkpantheress & more!!

╰┈➤ 🎬 [TV + FILM] -> skins. dead poets society. the virgin suicides. black swan. gilmore girls. bridgerton. derry girls. little women (2019). barbie (2023). anne with an e. the breakfast club (1985). the perks of being a wallflower. the edge of seventeen. thirteen. heartbreak high. ten things i hate about you. girl interrupted. gossip girl. heartstopper. miraculous ladybug. uptown girls. legally blonde. [2000s chic rom-com teen girlie movies have me in a lethal chokehold, send help] etc. and MANY MORE 🫶🏾🫶🏾

❝ 𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐌 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐘 𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 ❞

ִ ࣪ ⟡ ִ ۫ ִ 🕯️ ── ꒱ ◠ 🎹 ۫ ִ ۫⊹

╰┈➤ MY ABSOLUTE BELOVED!! - @catastrxblues, @sparksssflytv, @youronlymagnolia, @svnflowermoon, @i-miss-you-im-sorry, @stvrlighhttt, @halucynator, @nqds, @alltheliars, @tooinlovetothinkstraight14, @diorgirl444, @stvrlighhttt, @urgirlnextdoorr, @girlfailing, @shefollowedthestars, @wntrrdoll, @weeping-in-the-willows, @skeelly, @reminiscentreader, @isitoversnowtvs, @jewelledmoths, @moonanditstars, @french-toadt, @dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies, @christmasslights, @urapocolypticcrush, @cottoncandywhispers, @lost-in-reveriie, @folklore-girl, @betteroffnowthatwedonttalk, @theladyinwhite13, @iwanttomarrynoahshaw, @emailsicntsend, @someones-name-insterted-here, @astraeasparrow, @evermore-4-life - ILY TO THE MOON AND TO SATURN 🪐 (let's all get married and live in the forest together fr)

┕ » • » i’d love to make more friends, feel free to ask or message me!! inbox is always open - PLEASE come say hi, i literally don’t mind at all! ꒱ྀི « ━━━┙

NOW PLAYING: PEOPLE WATCHING - CONAN GRAY‎ — ♬

01:23 ━━━━●───── 02:38

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#THIS BLOG FULLY SUPPORTS PALESTINE 🇵🇸 !!

[katiekatdragon27]

Fuck you @/rainbow-wolf120 anyways hello Rayman fandom🧍.

Every time I draw my line art style just gets more and more complicated💀😭.

Guess who gained a new interest to stick on the wall?? That's right! Me~~~~!

So, I have this very unhealthy habit of choosing favorites that never get fanart ever. In this case, Goth Teensy (my pookie💖) and Romeo.

Some info and progress photos under cut:

My sibling indoctrinated me into this fandom, and I should have seen all the signs but my fixation on GT rn is too much for my ape brain to see though. (First a fanfic about GT that is eerily characterized close to me, then forcing me to endure CLH twice (it's not that bad), then being nice to me while playing Origins, then being there while I played Rayman 3, then wrote a story about GT together that's in the works lol).

Anyways, I have a sort-of interpretive version of the tennsys lol. They remind me of Moomins, so I gave them tails lol. Also, the amount of "nightmare" magic a teensy uses determines hair growth and fluffiness.

Since this is based in our AU origins story where Goth Teensy turned into a nightmare during his formative years, he's a purple fluffy teensy. Romeo is a regular nightmare magic user (Livid Dead resident), so he's fluffier than the average teensy and is able to maintain a head of hair lol.

(Ales fits in this too, but he can't keep his hair cuz his magic is super weak and embarrassing L Bozo.)

Romeo is Goth's babysitter-sorta-found-family-adoptive-brother. When Goth isn't in the lower levels of the Livid Dead (where all the nightmares are), he's with Romeo doing gardenwork, learning about the Glade, or just practicing his magic with someone who can coach him properly. They both listen to rock a lot too.

Have a nice day jahombres.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for seeking out my ex to apologise to them?

For context, I had a long term (over 6 years) relationship with someone when I was younger (i was 21 and they were 20 at the time of our breakup, both nonbinary). They asked me out when we were both barely even teenagers, and in a way we grew up together. They were a great partner, and we were both very dedicated to each other. However I went through a lot of mental health struggles while we were together including a lot of suicidal ideation and some attempts, and eventually they asked to break up as they felt our relationship was becoming stressful for them and that I was relying on them too much/being too codependent.

At the time I was a little confused and upset, but I had always clearly made it a condition of our relationship that either of us could leave if we wanted to and had no obligation to stay. So in the end our breakup was pretty amiable, just sad, and we went our separate ways. In hindsight, our relationship was definitely unhealthy for both of us, and my mental health has ironically improved a huge amount since we broke up. So they were 100% right about it not being healthy, and I have nothing but respect for them.

In the years since, I have often felt guilty about how I treated them and wished I could make up for it/take back how I behaved. I never tried to hurt them on purpose but I would vent to them constantly without considering how they felt, and in general I think I took them for granted and would treat them more like a therapist than a partner, when they had their own issues too and I should have never made them feel responsible for mine like that. Neither of us were perfect, but I feel I definitely hold a lot of the blame for how things ended up. I don't think I had the emotional maturity at the time to realise how unhealthy our dynamic had become, whereas they did, and I think both of our lives have become better as a result of us breaking up.

It's been a couple of years since we broke up. They haven't changed any of their social media usernames or blocked me etc, so I could still reach out to them if I wanted to without having to block evade or anything weird like that. Part of me really wants to send them some kind of apology or something, so that they know they're a good person who did the right thing and that I'm sorry for my past behaviour.

However, part of me also recognises that I probably represent a dark period in their life, and that they likely just want to move on and forget about me. For this reason, I worry that apologising would be a selfish move on my part to just assuage my own feelings of guilt, but would only serve to stress/creep them out or hurt them further, which is the last thing I would want to do.

So, would I be the asshole for reaching out to them to apologise? Is it better to leave things alone, or would it be helpful for them/give them closure to hear an apology from me? It would be really helpful to hear people's perspectives on this, especially people who have been on the "other side" of a situation like this.

[nerdynanny]

I’ve been put through the wringer this summer. More info below. I keep it vague but it does involve mentions of cyber bullying, transphobia, and ableism.

Back in May I got hella cyber bullied by some transphobic peeps who came together collectively to tell everyone I’m— a huge jerk. That’s it. I’m a dickbag to folks who piss me off (and engage in creepy/gaslighting behavior). I have all these folks blocked and haven’t interacted with most of them for THREE YEARS, since I cut ties and blocked them for disrespecting my boundaries and bullying me for content.

It hurt me a lot socially. Mainly because I wasn’t reactive. One of the dudes had to FABRICATE I was stalking him because he couldn’t look the victim without it. Mind you, this is a dude who disrespected my consent time and time again — and used my talents for content (which I never saw a dime of). He also has over a million YouTube followers. A very toxic internet famous dude.

In comparison, I have maybe 10k followers across All my social media. (I also have hard evidence of some foul shit about him that he wants kept quiet— illegal stuff)

The whole ordeal brought up a lot of trauma and was insanely triggering. I’ve got PTSD. I have done traditional therapy and CBT. I talk pretty extensively about accessibility and life with visible and invisible disabilities. Streaming is how I make money. I can’t work your typical jobs anymore because of my immune issues.

Anywho my health went on a downhill slope and last night I realized I’ve lost sixty pounds from the stress alone. On the one hand, I’m fitting into my pre Covid wardrobe. On the other— this strikes me as an unhealthy amount of weight in a short amount of time.

Couple that with my Hashimoto’s being exacerbated by stress (and boy howdy was that stress) it seems like a perfect storm. I’m pretty low activity here because I get tired so easily lately.

Therapy and my support system have me on the stress (for the most part) but I could seriously use a break. Maybe a bit of self care. Idk. I’m mostly venting here because I’ve kept this all bottled up for a while.

Moral of the story is: Cyberbullying has consequences. Save callouts for creeps, peds, and genuine dangers to a community.

[greyskyflowers]

I've had these little partial plot bunnies for a while and have added to them as I think of stuff. I'm going to go ahead and thrown them on here though because they aren't doing anyone any good sitting in my drafts. Maybe it will help inspire someone else.

A/B/O Dynamic ideas with Omega Zoro and background/hinted Poly/QP Strawhats ~

*** :examples, additional info, how it relates to the crew

🌱 :how it relates to Zoro

• Omega are lighter than alphas and betas, that doesn't mean weaker or smaller. They're simply lighter.

*** Ex: If a omega and beta/alpha of the similar strength and build both step in the same puddle of mud, the beta/alphas will sink down further.

🌱 The reason Zoro can push off of Luffy or Sanji without any problems.

• Omega run cooler as a protection against overheating during their heats.

*** Beta and alphas tend to run warmer to provide for omegas if needed.

🌱 The outfit post time skip Zoro wears is due to him running a little cooler.

• Heats are usually a miserable experience. The body hurts like getting the flu, body temp shots up, and other things like headaches, loss of appetite, fatigue, etc.

*** Alphas and betas instinctively know where to press/massage on omegas to help relieve pain. Sometimes, even able to tell things before even the omega knows. Ex: they may get food ready even if the omega doesn't feel particularly hungry, they may know where bruises will form, can tell when a heat is coming, etc.

🌱 Zoro already has chronic pain that flares up during his heats, so the whole thing is usually miserable.

• Omegas have sharp teeth but thinner than betas and alpha. Omega teeth are meant for killing strikes, for ripping at veins and throats. Beta and alpha teeth are broad and sharp, meant for crushing and snapping.

🌱 Zoro doesn't fight with his teeth like some omegas do but he shows them off when he uses three swords. The teeth looking extra menacing when digging into the hilt of sword.

• Omegas require a lot of sleep. It has to do with their hormones and sometimes can change depending on how healthy or unhealthy a omega is.

🌱 Zoro naps constantly

• Omegas also require a lot of food. The same hormones that require a significant amount of sleep also requires a significant amount of energy.

🌱 Zoro doesn't eat as much as Luffy but he's usually not too far off.

• Scent glands are very sensitive, once a pack bond has been established and pack marks have been given/recieved, only pack can touch the scent glands without causing pain.

It's a comfort to have them nipped at very carefully, stroked or sucked on. Sometimes packs will nipped a little harder or dig their nails into scent glands if they're mad at their omega.

The scent gland releases a type of oil that varies on consistency and taste for each omega. Once pack bonds have been established, alphas and betas will seek out the scent and taste. Often when they're anxious or concerned, for affection, etc.

*** Scars on scent glands can cause a lot of problems. Due to the type of tissue that makes up scent glands, damge to it will often scar in a way that traps the oil and can make the scent glands ache.

Oil that's been trapped must be manually released with firm pressure and heat. The oil will become infected if not released correctly or frequently enough. This becomes very painful and the risk of a blood poisoning is high.

The trapped oil will be thinner when freed, often with the consistency of water rather than oil. The smell will also be too strong, like breaking a full perfume bottle. When released it will be mixed with blood and infection, usually a pinkish color or with spots of blood.

*** Omegas cannot scent right if their glands are not taken care of. This causes anxiety and depression since omegas will not be able to scent a nest or pack, leaving them feeling isolated even if they're not.

Trapped oil will also itch. This is often strong enough that omegas will scratch at the gland until it bleeds.

🌱 Zoro is terrible at taking care of himself when it comes to injuries and this includes his scent glands. The pack takes it upon themselves to make sure the glands maintained. The ones in his wrists and necks are the ones scarred.

• Scent glands are located on the neck, wrists and inner thighs.

*** Packs will often touch, bites, rub, etc at scent glands for bonding. Even the inner thigh ones will be caressed, it's doesn't have to be sexual, it's just intimate.

🌱 Usually they go for Zoro's wrists or neck since those are easiest to get too, those are the ones scarred though, so extra care is required when paying attention to them. The ones on his inner thighs are extra sensitive, as common with omegas, and are only focused on once in a while.

• It's incredibly dishonorable to aim for a omegas scent glands. People still do it but it's not something anyone should brag about.

*** Scars on scent glands or over pack marks are insulting to the pack and the omega. It's also incredibly painful to have pack marks or scent glands hurt.

🌱 Zoro has scars on his glands and it's a sore topic for the pack.

• Packs are very intimate, so they can be both sexual and/or platonic. Omegas provide balance for betas and alphas. Their scents and bonds create a healthy and comforting environment

🌱 The crew is very happy and healthy.

• It's a sign of power and strength to have a healthy and happy omega. It indicates the pack isn't worried about most threats, so they're able to take the time and focus required to take care of their omega.

*** Omegas will not go into heat in unsafe areas, it's very painful to withhold heats but it can be done. The body will not allow the heat to happen if it senses danger or feels unsafe.

🌱 Zoro has withheld his heat before and it never goes well. With all the other issues he has, withheld heats are brutal.

• Omegas nest, of course, but they also burrow. A combination of pressure and the instinct to find protection promoting them to create a nest and then cover it.

Pack nests are often bigger, made for the pack to be able to comfortably be near their omega and each other. Larger nests also allow omegas to feel comfortable in the nest with pack but also large enough for them to have a space with enough extra supplies that they can borrow.

*** A room may be considered a nest, filled with nesting supplies and carefully arranged. One corner may have additional nesting supplies available for the omega to cover themselves with if needed, while the rest of the nest remains comfortable and moveable for the pack.

*** Similar to how people find comfort in the pressure of weighted blankets.

🌱 Franky built a nesting room big enough for all of them. It's absolutely filled with nesting supplies. The floor is covered in pillows and mattressss.

• Alphas and betas may experience a type of itching or tingling in their gums when around their pack omega. This is a reaction to the scent of pack and omega. It's just a form of desire or longing meant to keep packs close together. This will often be relieved by biting, scenting or mating.

🌱 Luffy bites a lot.

• Dynamics and the instincts related to them aren't felt by anything but humans. That doesn't mean that others are excluded from the pack or don't feel pack bonds. It just means those instincts are very muted. Everyone can mark and be marked by pack bond marks if they want.

*** Ex: Chopper and Jinbei are pack of the pack but don't have to same desires or instincts as the others. It's more of a family type thing for them.

Brook, however, is a different situation. Since he was human, and is now human bones, he does have those instincts. However, while they are stronger than Jinbei or Chopper's, they are not as strong as they were when he was human.

🌱 They might be a little bias but they all think Zoro is the best omega.

• Omegas bruise easier, however that doesn't mean they're necessarily hurt more than alphas or betas. Hits that would hurt but not bruise on betas and alphas will hurt and bruise on omegas. The additional visibility on hurt spots and injuries is meant to prompt packs into protectiveness and care.

*** Ex: If a omega and alpha/beta both run their hip into the same corner of a table, same speed and force, the omega will get a bruise but the alpha/beta won't. No additional pain was felt by the omega. It's simply a evolutionary feature to prompt protection and care.

🌱 Zoro is almost constantly bruised.

• Omegas will purr when hurt and when happy. Purring can be used to self soothe when injured or hurting, and sometimes happens without the omega even noticing. It's not something controllable, they can not start or stop either instance of purring.

*** Happy purrs will often stay at one consistent pitch while hurt purrs will go up and down in pitch

🌱 Zoro was purring at Thriller Bark when the crew got to him after Kuma, the nothing happened barely understandable with the rough and unsteady purr breaking up the words when he spoke.

He purred when they all met up again after the two year skip, everyone grinning at the consistent sound and the faintest hint of pink on the top of Zoro's cheeks.

[throwing-in-the-towel]

you are actually a hero lol. All us people who can’t see the show are desperate for info. I’ve gotten lucky in that I got a playbill sent to me, scoured the internet until I found a copy of the script, and finally got a full audio recording of the show but no videos. It’s unhealthy the amount of times I’ve listened to it 😬 I know you said there’s no reunion scene between the brothers, but in the script is says during Hoods Turned Hero’s Soda runs to Pony and hugs him, then Darry kneels down next to him, clearly apologizing, and they hug. Did they cut that or is it just lost in the chaos of the song/ acting out the fire. Can you tell us more about how the fountain scene plays out?

thanks again for being so kind and taking the time to share! I’m glad that there are other Brent Comer/ Darry fans too. I ADORE him, but may be a little biased since we actually went to college together!! Sadly never met as he was 2 years older but I’m pretty sure I saw him in a school production of Parade, I lost my playbills though so can’t quite remember!

of course! i try my best to describe things as accurately as i can for you guys but it still doesn’t do justice to how amazing the production is!

for the “hoods turned heroes” bit that you’re referring to, that may have been part of the la jolla production from last spring. that was not in the broadway previews version of the show or the current broadway product.

the fountain scene is some of the most awesome staging i’ve ever seen. it’s done very well. the socs come on stage in the corvette right after “far away from tulsa” ends. they confront pony & johnny and bob slams pony’s head against the hood of the car, which gives him a concussion. the sound design for this is amazing, everything starts to move in slow motion and the sound goes muffled in the theater to simulate pony’s head trauma for the audience. they take pony’s head and dunk it into the tire (which has a pool of water in the middle of it) and again the sound in the theater makes it sound like the audience is underwater, it’s amazing. during that johnny moves in slow motion, beating up the soc that’s holding him back, then moves to stab bob. we see johnny stick the knife into bob’s side. then a white light flashes and the entire theater goes dark. after a few seconds, the lights come back on and you see bob bleeding out reaching for help. then the light flashes, goes dark again. then the lights come back again and bob is hanging over the side of the tire, dead. it’s extremely immersive.

and im more than happy to share this info! i acknowledge how lucky i am to be able to experience the show as often as i am and that is not lost on me. i want everyone to be able to enjoy the show in any capacity possible! :)

[flowers-for-em]

✧ Emma ✧ she/her ✧ minor ✧ books and food

┊ ➶ ｡°.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Hii! Welcome to my blog:

Basic Info:

✧ Emma/Ems ✧ she/her ✧ Minor - birthday Jan 12 ✧ Capricorn ✧ INTJ ✧ Australian ✧ Ferrari girl <3 ✧ I will defend my babies warnette and Evajacks until i die. ✧ i am a firm believer in sarcasm. ✧ if you see me posting about writing its cause I have no motivation. I post about it, but don't necessarily do it ✧ I'm an introvert but will absolutely come out of my shell and become and extrovert when you get to know me

┊ ➶ ｡°.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Things I love

✧ Books -> [series] The inheritance games, acotar, shatter me, the folk of the air, the prison healer, caraval, ouabh, dance of theives, divine rivals (waiting for the next one to come out), the lunar chronicles, the red queen, when in rome series, the naturals, six of crows.

✧ Books -> [standalone] Better than the movies, if he had been with me, the do over (basically anything by lynn painter), the cheat sheet, powerless, the summer of broken rules and a lot more I cannot remember cause I panicked :)

✧ Music -> Taylor swift, Gracie abrams, Tate McRea, a little of Lana Del Rey, Chase Atlantic, Artic Monkeys, Guns and Roses, Little mix, Conan Gray. My music is allllll over the place lmao.

✧ Christmas <3333

✧ Rain <3

✧ Movies -> Now you see me 1 & 2, knives out 1 & 2, oceans 8, 11, 12, & 13, Mamma Mia, the adam project, enola holmes, red notice and basically and chick flick

✧ Tv shows -> B99, Friends, babysitter's club, alexa and katie, fuller house,

✧ art -> I paint, sketch, and draw, whenever I feel like it. I mostly draw. I want to learn how to use gouache and oils paints.

✧ other -> baking and cooking :)

✧ making moodboards -> here is my master list

┊ ➶ ｡°.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

More Info

✧ my dream life is to runaway to paris or new york and open up a bookstore/cafe/flower shop. (and to be the rich hot aunt the everyone loves)

✧ I will most likely put 'lmao', 'lol', <3, :) at the end or in every sentence I can - just cause I want to talk to you but I don't want to come on too strong lmao (see right there - perfect example)

✧ I want to travel when I'm older! [places] -> London, Paris, Italy, Greece, Turkey, Sweden, Germany, New York, Bahamas, Japan, Korea, and a bunch more!

✧ I spend an unhealthy amount of time on Pinterest and Tumblr.

✧ I'm basically friendless if you exclude online friends. So if we're moots you're my best friend, no take backs

✧ Also I love getting new book, show, movie, music recs!

✧ My Wattpad -> My Pinterest

✧ If you want to know anymore just ask! Seriously, I have like zero friends in real life, so you can spam me anytime. I love talking to new people.

✧ special moots: [if you want to be added or removed just ask!] -> @blythexparker, @kitsohana, @myster3y, @stvrlighhttt, @skeelly, @my-mind-is-frozen, @atwtmvftvtvsgavralpsss, @bookscorpion73, @blocked-zombieartist, @urgirlnextdoorr, @nqds, @reminiscentreader, @crenna, @someones-name-inserted-here, @banilikesfictionalpeople, @yourinterruptingmyreading, @mqstermindswift, @seaveysoceaneyes <3

✧my 100 followers event

✧ this is a safe space for everyone!! ↳ Dni - if you're a racist, homophobe, sexist, pedos, ect..

lots of love

Emma <3

┊ ➶ ｡°.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Ps: this was also inspired by @stvrlighhttt, hehe ik you said u didn't want credit but i think u deserve it mwah <3