#i have more . but thats all for now i thinkkk?

[yeondollie]

ɪᴛ ᴀʟᴍᴏsᴛ ᴡᴏʀᴋᴇᴅ ♡ 𝜗𝜚

. . paring ; toxic! yeonjun x fem! reader

. . warnings ; ANGST .ᐟ, fighting, drabble, explicit language, crying, degration, junnie is mean, kinda? fluff, apologizing, good ending, nicknames (baby, pretty girl, princess), i thinkkk that it :D !

a/n ; hiiii guys !! i missed you so so much im so sorry for the sudden break . . i had a lot going on n stuff but i'm feeling better and back to writing fics :> ! i was listening to it almost worked-tv girl this morning and omgg i love tv girl smm but i needed to make a fic about something like this soo enjoy ᥫ᭡

“why the fuck are you so dramatic?” yeonjun scoffed, looking up at you as he sat on the couch. you two had been fighting for what seemed like forever but in reality, it had been on and off for about a week. yeonjun was pisses, livid even because of the way you’ve been acting.

you had blown up his phone, went on a drive at three in the morning, and even blew up his friends phone because after another argument about god knows what he had left. he left without saying anything and to you that meant possibly another woman.

as he stared up at you in anger, you suddenly started to feel bad. maybe you had took it too far this time, maybe you needed to have some trust in him. “jun.. i was just worried. thats all..” you say, in a quiet and gentle voice.

you were never one to get anger or yell or even cuss; he was the complete opposite of you. “_____ i dont give a fuck! you’re so clingy it’s disgusting..” his face made it clear, he wasn’t lying. he meant every word that came out of his mouth.

it was coming out again. not word vomit, not even actual vomit but just pure tears. they started dwelling in your eyes and suddenly your vision went blurry. “y-yeonjun..” he noticed your shaky voice, shaky hands, and most importantly- glassy eyes.

his heart started to crack and he realized just what he had said to you. his mind went blank and all he could do was slowly wrap his arms around you. when you called him ‘yeonjun’ rather than ‘jun’ or ‘jjunnie’ his heart stopped.

“i-i didn’t mean to.. u-upset you yeonjun. i was j-just worried.” while not hugging him back, you just stood there- limp. he desperately held onto you. this was the first time that either two of you have had any type of physical contact in weeks.

his words started to sink in. no not into you but into him. had he really said that to you? his hands were all over you. caressing your face, hugging you, even planting kisses all over your pretty face. “i-i didn’t mean any of that princess.. i-i where are you going?”

before you could reply to him, you walked your way to your bedroom. locking the door before you slumped on your bed and started crying into the pillows. you could hear loud banging on the door accompanied by a few “im sorrys” from time to time.

eventually, you fell asleep. all the crying did really tire you out and you just wanted to forget about the situation at the moment. it was now 7:38pm and it was silent. silent outside, completely dark, and yet you could see your phone light up, over and over again.

jjun !!

im sorry baby i didn’t mean any of it i miss you please im sososo sorry pretty girl r u sleeping? sorry i love you so much

you

im awake now come in my room plz i miss u more baby

you slowly hear the door crack open and your boyfriend walks in, his glassy eyes staining his originally cold ones. “_____ i.. please im sorry i didn’t mean to hurt my b-baby..” he carefully sits in your bed, placing a hand on your head and comforting you.

safe to say it worked, it always did. here was the thing, it was always a cycle with yeonjun. there was no “time apart” or even a break of some sorts. he always convinced you to stay or hear him out. and you did just that, time and time again.

“i-its okay jun.. come here please.” you sniffle and he enters the covers and wraps his arms around you. he was so warm, so comforting it almost made you forget what he made you feel like when you weren’t in his arms. the next hour and a half consisted of his corny compliments to get you back where he needed you.

“you’re so pretty princess, you know that?” he whispers in your ear, planting kisses all over your face. he was trying to butter you but god it was working. you could feel the butterflies in your stomach and the heat rising up to your face. “junnie..” you cover your face in embarrassment.

yet he removes your hands and starts smiling at your flustered face. he cant help it. you look so cute, so gorgeous, so beautiful he couldnt help but continue to stare and smile at you. “its true.. but im really sorry i didn’t mean any of that. i..i really wanna make us work pretty girl.”

god just that nickname got you latching onto him for dear life like he was gonna run away from you. he wanted to make it work. just for you guys? your heart was touched yet a part of you doubted every word that came out of his mouth. but maybe this time he’d be different.

“i know jun.. me too. i want you. i want you more than anything.” you smile, feeling content for the time being.

a/n ; i know i’ve been gone for FOREVER and im so so so so so sorry ! school was stressing me but im on spring break heheheh :0 so expect more fics! (i hope)

[obikindred]

Ok tumblr today I am going to ramble about something. It was discussed in the obikin discord i thinkkk probably about a year ago now? But:

Obligate cannibal stewjoni.

I figure thats not everyone’s jam, so more about biological logistics and how that applies to our good friend Obi-wan below the cut vv

So I know the biology surrounding an obligate cannibal would have to be kind of funky but basically in my mind the prion diseases that would kill irl humans provides a necessary nutrient in stewjoni lifeforms. Perhaps two or more separate humanoid species are the only living things left on the planet after its other meat sources have been hunted to extinction, leaving only the humanoid species left. Maybe a herbivore group vs a group of obligate carnivores? Or maybe it’s just one carnivorous group that utilizes slavery/human husbandry/ human sacrifice? Regardless, it causes them to evolve over time into obligate cannibals. Or something. I offer you an obi-wan with pointed, ripping teeth and (optionally) nails that grow in naturally sharp.

I figure the temple provides Obi-wan with synthetic meat or supplement pills or something that has the added nutrients needed for a stewjoni initiate, so he never actually feels the craving for humanoid flesh until he gets put in a situation where those rations are not readily available to him. I also figure they probably give him special classes on his own biology so he knows how important it actually is to keep those rations/supplements on him at all times, but. You know. Shit just happens to Obi-wan LOL.

Qui-gon discovering a young Obi-wan on Melida-Daan wide eyed and drenched in blood, having gone without his supplements for too long for the first time and deciding that no, he will NOT in fact train this feral animal (he does infact begrudgingly train this feral animal). Qui-gon is wary of this boy, treats him like a dangerous animal that needs to be controlled, and in response, ever grateful for the chance to probe that he is not too wild to be domesticated, his padawan becomes just that. Obi-wan is the perfect jedi, you would scarcely know of his origin planet if not for those teeth (he files his nails down and smiles with his mouth closed. Nothing to be done for speaking, unfortunately.)

There is a significantly more upsetting, dead-dove rabbithole that could be followed regarding one Anakin Skywalker’s missing hand and a master that is Not Normal about his padawan, how something about the boy just makes his teeth itch for the hot, steady gush of fresh blood, but I digress. Im always down to talk about weird starwarse biology and even moreso about obligate cannibal obiwan, but I think I will leave this here for now… :3

[shotgun2thadome]

ANOTHER intro .ᐟ .ᐟ .ᐟ

(past account that got terminated: @dome2mytec9)

teenager, male, im a he

athiest

misanthropic

i do condone sometimes depending on the situation, but most of the time i don’t

︻デ═一 INTERESTS/STUFF I LIKE 𖦏 dogs, music, true crime (obviously), weapons (guns, pocketknives), video games, going to local metal shows, cold weather, found footage/low budget films, war (mainly WW2), the military, army stores, old gaming systems, thrifting, photography, sleeping, heavy music, woodland, norman reedus ! (can I brag… I’ve met him before…)

MUSIC 𖦏 eyehategod, dystopia, rammstein, kmfdm, noothgrush, bad religion, descendants, pantera, xasthur, my bloody valentine, slowdive, suicidal tendencies, sepultura, venom, linkin park, possessed, rob zombie, skinless, 311, sublime, third eye blind, minor threat, circle jerks, the offspring, outta pocket, snot, powerman 5000, nine inch nails, static-x, rage against the machine, alice in chains, pearl jam, dope, icp, weezer, hellhammer, slayer, death, superheaven, american football, green day (and probably more.)

SHOWS/MOVIES 𖦏 breaking bad, twd, supernatural, zero day, elephant, archies final project, street dreams, fight club, natural born killers, slumber party massacre, evil bong (it’s so bad to the point where it’s good just trust me), all quiet on the western front, donnie darko, house of 1000 corpses, black circle boys, suburbia, scream, pet semetery, trainspotting, all movies w norman in them, kids, final destination, the method (+ more)

VIDEO GAMES 𖦏 skate 1, 2, and 3, DOOM, call of duty, left 4 dead, grand theft auto, guitar hero (I know there’s more that I’ve played but i can’t remember right now) the ones that I want to play/get into: postal, cry of fear, manhunt, the house of the dead

CASES 𖦏 columbine, academy maniacs, vladislav roslyakov, laaiti ekensteen, boston bombing, dnepropetrovsk maniacs, sandy hook, alyssa bustamante, payton gendron, kip kinkel, timothy mcveigh, brandon hole, murder of cassie jo stoddart, etc

︻デ═一 I don’t really have a dni, obviously I can’t control who interacts, but if you are on my page just know I don’t like you if

you’re extremely religious / a christian / try to push your beliefs onto other people

a proshipper / comshipper / dark shipper, or if you align with them in any way. sorry I don’t like pedophilia okay? thanks !!!

one of those people who think they had a past relationship with eric or dylan, or if you just align with that mindset in some way and you’re delusional.

people who think they’re the reincarnation of eric or dylan (or really any killer) and try SO hard to be them. when i say this I mean like stealing their ENTIRE personality down to the last minute detail, acting as edgy as possible, naming yourself after them, dressing like them, acting like them, you get it. it’s okay to be yourself you know… it just makes you look like a retard.

a self proclaimed “femcel” (like unironically)

one of those age gap obsessed coquette bitches who fetishize pedophilia

︻デ═一 SOCIALS:

tiktok: sofuckingodlike

discord, insta, spacehey: bullet2thadome

i thinkkk thats about it !! :)

[sketchguk]

Hi! soulmate anon hereee . Thank you for reading it! yesss mc does find out about it but only after the incident happeens !! she's upset he didnt trust her enough to tell, but its about more than just him so she understands ! Soonyoung leaves because they were attacks and threats against their whole group , and he's one of the aurors , people in this au are out of college. So it's imprtant for him to be there. Buuuuut the whole time he's angry and he just wants to go back and be with mc :(((((( he struggles between his loyalty for his pack and mc :(( That's actually a recurring theme ! his pack is modern and doesnt believe in hierarchies, but they do have inborn traits of like omega and alpha etc .... And that becomes a problem with mc later on because she's not a natural ... I forgot to tell you ... but THIS STORY IS POLY I think ????????? we actually get got that far in the discussion ! but my friend's plan was to do a fic like the hp ones on ao3! those HUGEge fics that have many tropes in them . So this was hogwarts universe , abo , AND abo is naturally soulmate so there was a soulmate element too . Mingyu would always feel like mc is his soulmate too but he doesnt tell her or anyone because mc is with soonyoung . But in his heart he knows she's HIS and something is wrong ..... Later he does fight soonyoung about everything every step !!! he'll say he doesnt care when he leaves mc alone, and that he would never be selfish like that, he would help out mc if he could ! and once when theyre fighting , mingyu would storm away and mc would be in shock ... soonyoung asks what happened and mc would say that she could hear his heartbeat ... thats shocking because vampires dont have heartbeats! only mates can hear it aaaah. we never decided if it was gonna end as a poly au. Soonyoung is a werewolf and sharing goes against everything he knowssss. we thought that mingyu could be for angst, but THEN i read a taekook fic where jungkook is werewolf and taehyung is a vampire !!! it was poly and taekook are not interested in poly but they give in for mc :((((( but then i didnt discuss it with anyone until now so the story hasnt gone forward !!! once again thank you so much for readingg!! If you want to ask anything plssss do but not also i understand weuiuteito it's kind of all over the place

ALSO I READ AND REREAD PREV ANON'S ASK SO MANY TIMES that i zoned out while eating, thinking about it ! LOL . soonyoung in his QUIDDITCH GEAR IN THE LIBRARY ????????? and making her recite from her STUDIES ?!???! and then you said his hand is wrapped around her throat too , I can't breathe omg OMGGG . would he be so sweet to her right after ???? I always think of gryfinddor soonyoung as someone that will do dom things like this in the moment and then get shy about it iewrueiwiuro

Oof yeah I can imagine how complicated it gets when Soonyoung has other another half of his identity that he has to hide 💔 He's also so important to the pack ! He can't just let his responsibilities go

Omg there are a lot of tropes that y'all came up with !! The story sounds soo exciting. We love a good slow burn multi chaptered fic <3 Especially when it's a poly one too LOL. Mingyu and Soonyoung are always at the scene of the crime too ahah. Reminds me of the time Mingyu said he thought Soonyoung hated him during pre-debut days lkadjklsa. He's definitely someone to fear especially when it comes to dance practice (although Seungcheol might disagree. If he was in this universe, he would definitely be an alpha LOLL - that reminds me, are there any other members in this fic??)

I liked what you said about mc hearing Mingyu's heartbeat :0 that must have come as a big shock to all of them !! And have you thought about what event occurred for all of them to start getting along and starting a poly relationship??? Or have you two not gotten to that point because you mentioned that you thinkkk it's a poly story aha

Ahh !! In my HP au, I always imagined that Soonyoung and mc are both switches, but it's so difficult when I love my male doms lol. I'm subby by nature, so it just happens that mc acts in the same way I do. I can't help it !!!! I'm projecting my fantasies

Soonyoung is typically very sweet and romantic in bed, but when mc misbehaves or riles him up, he has no choice but to flip his switch !!! After they have a rough session, Soonyoung would definitely get shy in retrospect. He checks up on her constantly and wonders if he really did that aha. It's the duality for me !

[ramu-ego]

AHHH JEEZ A 2 DAYS LATE REPLY MY BAD, i def wouldve responded sooner but i suddenly got busy, missed camping in this little blog here 💔😭 (yes 2 days is a lot in my book LMAO)

when i saw sir nighteye, i looked at ego and i was like. Yea. Yea that’s a type alright LMFAOO.. IVE MEVER SEEN THE REST EXCEPT DAZAI BUT MAYBE THATS SIGN FOR ME TO OPEN MY TASTES A BIT MORE..

100% agree on the ego paragraph!!..!.!?! EVEN IF I WASNT THE BIGGEST FAN ITS SOO OBVS HE CARES.. one day imma see an ego appreciation paragraph analysis explaining every single detail abt what he did and i wouldnt be surprised if that post is from you LMFAO

god i’ve never heard nikko’s eng voice but i’m def not looking forward to it — i read the nikko post though, GOODD LOORDDD may of changed my perspective of nikko on ruining him but still, gotta stay loyal to my favs (a lie, i’m a whore and would jump around but niko just aint it for me LMFAO)

god yea, my timezones been like .. the direct opposite of most people so i wasn’t surprised to see ours be different, JUST CRAZY HOW KUCH OF A DIFFERENCE IT ACTUALLY WAS .. fuckk guess we can twin in being last to almost everything then huh? the only win i get is just having an asian timezone to be early to actual content LMFAO

i respect liking dubs!!!! i used to watch dubs for like, romance anime? toradora and shit when i was WAYYY younger!! HONESTLY I SEARCHED UP ALL UR RECS AND III THINKKK i may start with mob psycho first since it peaks my interests the most! but i’ll def check fire force since it’s one of ur favs, i’ll tell you what i think abt it when i actually DO start it (chronic procrastinator, i even procrastinated writing this message despite how much i wanted to chat LOL)

I HAVE REALLY BAD MEMORY SO IVE GOT NO IDEA WHICH GUY I WAS REFERRING TO.. curly hair??? black hair??? looked kinda dead inside??? I THINK IT MIGHTVE BEEN W GAGAMARU AND RAICHI.. his hair looked kinda like it hadn’t been washed in weeks ngl

IM HAPPY TO READ YOUR RESPONSES HONESTLY, SUPEPRRR FUN and it feels like im having a genuine one on one convo even if we are like — replying to it like letters or sum LMFAO, guess we going back to the past era for this! BEINNG A HAIRDRESSER FOR 5 YEARS IS SOO COOL?? you’re only 25 now so like — did you pick this job up early on??

i’ve never watched haikyuu but i could see a lot of people felt differently abt blue lock compared to haikyuu, blue lock kinda increases that competitive spirit that’s rare to find in that. team work stuff?

since i felt as if my replies were kinda ass this time, i got news! just watched blue lock episode 11 and good fucking lord this shit was good — yea i was worried about bad animation but shit POPPED OFF.. and rin itoshi :?/!.?.!?! i screamed creamed probably was thinkign with only my metaphorical dick from that point on because good lord i want this man HELP.. it’s been like a year or two(?) since i first saw rin itoshi in the manga but good lord when i saw him animated and even spoke, i felt sum ROARING DOWN THERE … (excuse my language i only think with my lower region!) this awakened sum in mme.. don’t be surprised once i start sending genuine requests and thirsts

since i even joked about this being like a literal letter, maybe i should start signing off like one!!!

from 💌 anon or something LMFAO

NO NO TWO DAYS IS NOTHING I CAN BE AWFUL AT RESPONDING-

-I am so bad at like focusing to respond so trust me no apology needed bc I'm chronically bad at looking at a message and then giving myself anxiety over it. It's something I'm working on 😂😭

Dazai is mildly the odd man out except for the dude with black 'n white hair they're kinda con losers together but I'd say the over arching theme is "they look like they bite...but not really" I have no sense of danger I want the weird looking men no one wants 😂 but no seriously all the fandoms they're from are really good highly recommend Dr Stone and Fire Force if you enjoy Blue Lock. They are *chefs kiss*

do you know how hard it is to keep my twitching fingers on my keyboard to not rant about Ego??? I could do it I could go on and on about this man but- asdfghjkl- I'm controlling myself! mostly bc i don't wanna share my weird husband shhh that's not the point shhh he's my ugly little greenbean

i blame my friend on the niko bullshit!! she went on about how perfectly he'd fit that pervy hentai protagonist who like- steals panties- and cries when he gets caught and all that bullshit?? now I can't unsee it?? he's so stealing panties and putting under his pillow to sleep with only to make up a loud sob story when he gets caught. He's a perv and now I can't unsee it and I hate it 😩

really you have the problem of conflicting timezones?? I'm genuinely surprised bc like- everyone I talk to is like bare minimum in Europe and further over as I sit my lonely self in the United States. Count your blessings bc at least you don't live in the States we're awful 😂 we can be opposite timezone buddies like long drawn out lovers from two forlorn families writing drawn out poetic letters to each other to be sent by snail mail as we try to survive the black plague! or you know...something like pen pals 😂

my peanut brain suffers with subbed I can't look at the animation and take in what they're saying T^T I did it with Jujutsu Kaisen when it came out and can honestly say I don't recall anything I watched bc I was reading subs. RIP this is why I have to read the mangas </3 Oh but Mob is so good!!! It's one of my favorites and my comfort animes I can't tell you how many times I've watched it?? I think like- seven times? Eight times? Easing your way into the list makes Mob Psycho a good starter. But no seriously I cannot stress it enough how much I love Fire Force. Plus cursed knowledge, English dubbed Ego is Fire Forces main character and he is a cinnamon roll of a good boy and a total 180 of Ego's character 😂 Equal parts blessed and cursed when you hear Ego being a good boy

a lot of them look dead inside but dying so hard at gagamaru being put in the dead eye category?? my wife is in love with him so now I'm dying over the dead eye thing 😂 tbh they're so many characters I still have to look back and know who's who

you will find out I can't keep my mouth shut so if you get me talking I will put in that much effort 😂 But actually sweet I'm not 25 I'm 27 (had to double check with my wife I lost track) So the five years of hairdressing isn't too out there but I did pick it up after two yrs of college when I dropped out bc US education system suuuucks. Love hair but covid made people entitled shitheads and didn't want to spend nine hours a day with jackasses to come home to a baby so I just swapped entitled costumers to an entitled baby XD

haikyuu is...cute. like- ok i dont really do slice of life animes and heavily dont do sports anime (haikyuu and blue lock are literally the only ones) but Haikyuu is definitely not the same as Blue Lock. They spend a lot of time explaining how the game works where as Blue Lock its kinda "you know how soccer works or sucks to be you" which I like bc the one thing I do get tired with haikyuu is the over explanation of things. It's a cute show though! I could only watch it once thru but its fun when you haven't watched it before

UGH IM SO WORRIED OVER WHO IS GONNA PLAY RIN I'VE BEEN CHEWING MY NAILS OVER IT- Their casting director has been so good so?? Like?? I know it'll be good but at the same time?? I'm still so worried?? I mean- They convinced me to love Ego even after knowing who his VA was (and what I watched him previously in was NOT anything like his Ego role) but still- Rin's my baby?? Rin's my little bratty temper tantrum baby i wanna smoosh?? He has to be perfect?? More so than anyone else?? Pleading with the casting gods Rin sounds good or I will sob 😭 And I'm like- Have no idea are they doing 12 episode season or a 24 episode season. I need answers T^T

pls send me Rin thirsts I can't shut the fuck up about him

[analogseeker]

pls tell!

ok bet bet i shall !! its all under the cut :]

so, they are childhood friends. besties., they are both transgender (they only recognize eachother due to the names; they picked out eachothers names) !! peko is also somewhat apart of this, she is aware of ibuki's existence.

though due to fuyuhiko being in the yakuza he can't be seen hanging out with ibuki so they have to hang out in private. no one hangs out with ibuki because she's seen as too loud and weird, while no one hangs out with fuyuhiko because he's rude and a part of the yakuza.

but overtime, as they grow. due to fuyuhiko being a yakuza, he ends up pushing ibuki away ?? he'd slowly stop hanging out w her ... n ibukis like.. ahaha,, hii (acts like she doesnt notice him avoiding her. but very much does) oh ur busy again? ok ^-^ ,, talk to u later :]

overtime, he stopped showing up as often because he felt so bad. eventually he stopped showing up to the meeting spot and avoided ibuki any chance he could get.

ibuki kept waiting though. she never gave up.

years later she still waited. she wanted to have hope he'd come back but she knew too well he'd never show up again so she stopped showing up. but sometimes she comes n visits the spot

(when theyre older) one time fuyu spots her doing that n hes like. what r u doing.. weirdo.. n shes like ah its nothing jus where an old friend n i met up n fuyu is like OH SHIT. ??? he plays dumb n pretends he doesnt know who she is bc he feels so so So bad n just . it hurts him so so much.

ibuki soon goes and is like, you remind me of my old friend. a lot. i wonder what happened to him. i miss him a lot. n fuyuhiko is like. oh. oh this hurts a lot more im so so sorry . n ends up acting weirded out n runs off n ibuki is like., ah,, i guess he hates me huh. im annoying aint i.

after this event ibuki spirals n gets worse n is more closed off. tho she masks n fuyu knows her. rlly well so he knows n its sucks soo much bc he CANT help her. he wants to hug her

he doesnt want to hurt her n avoids that but in the process he makes everything worse

so! in the end she thinks fuyuhiko (both childhood friend fuyuhiko & current fuyuhiko) hate her because he got distant due to yakuza stuff (he never told ibuki just to keep her safe) & he didnt want her to get stuck into all the yakuza stuff , and that this new fuyuhiko is weirded out and hates her

anyways in school, now that they're older. fuyuhiko has this one sided rivalry with ibuki. ibuki is confused wondering is that him? no.. no. it can't be. i mean he hates me. he doesn't like me. .. its weird tho he reminds me of him. he always glares at me though. no matter what i do. what did i do?

peko was there too so she NOTICES ibuki n is like. young master- fuyuhiko,.-,, .... i think its her. n hes like WHAT?? MY RIVAL?? noo.. ur kidding lol! theyre nothing alike (they are very much alike; theyre the same person; current ibuki is just a bit more quiet and closed off due to fuyuhiko)

in the end its vv tension filled, eventually ibuki confronts him and asks why the hell he is so distant n why does he keep glaring at her., he doesn't respond n says its none of ur concern.

[luvdsc]

Im hoping to teach toddlers hehe🥰🥰💘its a critical age fr kids n id wn provide warmth to their lives! Yes miss cat im a 95 liner HEHE, i ws away frm tumblr fr yrs n didnt think id come back until a friend of mine told me to read fics agn,, n thts hw i stumbled upon ur wonderful blog! Yes i feel like a relic ovr here but owell LOL; oh noooo cat literally thats one of the best things anyone cud evr say to me.. thank u so so much. UR the angel🤧 i adore ur art too love thats y i hope ull (1/2)

Continue creating honestly :’)) digital art is so convenient 4 me personally cos i dont hv to clean up hehehe n im a messy person oops🤭i havent drawn anyth yet agn!☺️ my fave i thinkkk ws related to developmental/behavioral psych im def super interested in learning hw ppls experiences manifest into the person theyd become! Oh godddd i hope ill come to deserve all the compliments u give me😭😭😭😭thank u for being such a blessing!!♥️🌷♥️🌷🌻🌷🌻🌷field of flowers 4 miss cat. (2/2)

✿ ✿ ✿

omg that’s wonderful! 🥺💞 you’d be such a caring and kind teacher, and i’m positive you’d be their favorite teacher 💖 asjkdhfls wait i should be calling you miss then oh my gosh, i think you’re the third person i met on here that’s older than me; everyone else is younger than me, and it was honestly a bit disorienting at the beginning since i was used to being the youngest or a little lower than the average age in other kpop fandoms 🤧 and i gotta thank your friend then or else, i wouldn’t have met you 🥺🥺 and it’s ok, we can form a dino squad together!!! 🦕 jaklsdhflaksjd you’re making me blush and ooooh my goodness, thank you so so much, sweetpea 😭💗💗 i definitely won’t stop creating!!! if i could, i would love to make art all day :’)

omg that’s very true! there’s no mess at all! i’ve spilled and stained the carpet, my clothes, my desk, and literally everything else with oil paints so many times now rip oooo that’s super interesting! :o that’s really cool, and i remember having long discussions about the effects of nature vs nurture for behavioral psych. have you conducted any studies or done your own experiments in your psych classes? ✨ and you already deserve all the compliments and infinite more, sweetpea!!!! 💗 and oh my gosh i absolutely adore flowers with all my heart, thank you sosososo osoo much 🥺💞🌷

[pretendinglovechanginglies]

10th

Just finished work. Hate it because I think I’m becoming sick. Having a sore throat is always my first sign that my body is telling me. I don’t want to be sick of course. It sucks because I wouldnt be surprised if it was because of all the contributing factors from the week:

Exercised intensely 4 times this week. Sleep has been less than 6-6.5hours per night. Lower calorie intake. High stress. And alsoo running in the cold and not layering up when I was supposed to..... waah my fault. 

I mean it couldve not been timed any better. It was supposed to be my rest day anyway soo thats cool. I don’t plan on working out tomorrow. I want to sleep in. I want to have an easy morning. Just a little break from routine. 

I don’t really know what happened today i thinkkk? But I did a good weight/functional workout today and I just felt hungrier than I usually do. It could be so many things again though...my hormones, my increased training where my body wants more food, the psychological hunger since I’m trying to be good but actually have been increasingly more anal and obsessed about calories, grams, cups, tablespoon servings... I hate it for me but was actually in the best mood when I tried on work pants I havent worn since last year. They fit me and I wasnt expecting it. I was literally dancing and hyped before I left for work. I guess because ever since I participated in the bodyscan. I don’t feel like weighing myself because either way the number, the weight, 1, won’t’ be accurate and 2, I just want my fitness and stamina to improve. The fact that I havent weighed myself since the 1st of June is a win for me. Suchhhh a win for me. 

But yeah, I hate it but I need to be honest and work out my feelings and thoughts on this.. I was hungry at work, I said just eat dinner and see how you feel. I ate my dinner at a quicker pace than usual and still felt hungry. 

I think I shouldve waited for a bit, but instead I went to the kitchen and ate Ki Si Min until I felt satiated. I was satiated, and happy when eating. But I feel guilt from it now and that I went over my calories (by 470 cals...my usual is 1739 cals and my workout is usually 300-380 in 45-50 min x 4/week). I’m trying to be gentle with myself rn and say that tomorrow is a new day, that at least I didn’t eat till I was sick, at least Im trying to listen to my body’s inner hunger either mentally or physically? I also thought at the time, because of feeling sick/getting sick, maybe my body needs more to fuel itself and strengthen my immune system...I still dont know what to think of it but I’m just trying to let it pass and not make bad ripple effects. Anyway..I just needed to dump it and vent on here.

[thelightestofpink-blog]

this new year has to bring me some changes. 2016 sucks, for everyone of us. I was crazily in love and snapped out of it in just, I don’t know, seconds. I know sometimes I heavily blame myself for the things that happened but the feeling, t was different from everything that is normal. 

“One day you’ll be thankful that you let go of someone you hold dearly”

maybe. maybe I will see that one day, hopefully this year.

I just watched Sherlock The six thatchers but with no subtitles so  couldnt really figured out what the fuck they were saying. but i highlighted somethings that caught my feelings. 

why do the best people cheat?

it’s always the good people, it’s always from the unexpected persons. do they, what, aren’t they satisfied with the relationship they are having? meanwhile the brutally honest men, who always say everything as it is--they say, could just fuck around nagging, complaining, judging, criticizing, all the things that good people dont. good people dont want to hurt someone’s feeling by their words, let alone leaving them for someone new.

i think thats the correlation right there.

meanwhile on a tiny planet in my mind called “ex land”, well, I wanted to cry some more. maybe this isn’t gonna be easy. now and then there will be crying. now and then there will be the urge to call. what to do is just realising that maybe, if it wasnt like this, I will still be with him. having the same argument, feeling as worthless, crying over his conversation with his best friend nickcole out of jealousy, ended up married, and having the biggest regrets of our life.

I have to agree that this is the best way out. I have so much to go on and I have so much to do right now. I cannot afford thinking about anything else right now. But I promise myself to thinkkk think think through before I do anything dangerous. I dont want to fall into the same hole of regret again.

January 2nd 2017

S xx