#i haven’t been here in so long!!! but i’m getting back into rp so wanna come back :)

[projectwkm]

does anyone still roleplay wkm here….

[thechaosmuses]

Good morning loves! I’ve been up since 4:30ish and tried to go back to sleep, gave up and then decided to finish Kamen and Natalie’s about pages so those are now both up if you wanna check them out. Kamen’s ties into both Erik Mikaelson’s and Eleanor Bennett’s which is a little detail I personally love. Also if you do read those the Rebekah mentioned in Kamen’s belongs to my darlin’ (@chaos-awakens) and Sage and Jasper mentioned in Nat’s are also hers. If you ever have a question about one of my oc’s who do or don’t have about pages up just shoot me a message or an ask or if they do have a page up you can just comment on that-

Now for our second order of business, I’m gonna work on getting my muses of the month page up for June but I wanted to let y’all know I’m gonna do things a little differently this month. It’s not gonna 100% be muses that I haven’t used or that I feel are neglected it’s going to be the first muses I ever adopted/created on here two years ago now. June of 2021 was when I somehow got dropped headfirst into the Tumblr and Discord rp community- which I’ve been rping off and on since I was like 11-12 but had never done it on Tumblr though I did have one and I didn’t know anything about Discord. Now a few of these muses have their own blogs (which you can find on my pinned under other blogs) but there’s still quite a few that I have on here so they will be on that list. There's also obviously muses from fandoms that I didn't have then that I have now so I will still include people from them, most likely the first ones I added.

Lastly, I've got a couple other little things I wanna do but none of this should take me very long so I'll start working on my drafts and asks after I get all of that done. I think that's all I've got for now; I hope everyone is having a great day/night! 🖤

[spcllbounded]

// Phew! It’s been a long time since I wrote an actual post outside of my silly teasing! Let’s stop beating around the bush.

 Hey all! It’s ya Joy! I think I owe yall an explanation on what I’m planning and doing and what yall can expect hopefully in the near future! (I can’t make any promises due to a couple of reasons, but I’ll get to that!) So! This is gonna be long. Where do I start?

- First off, I wanna apologize for making empty promises on coming back and not. Actually coming back. If I had a nickel for every time I did that, I think I could pay off my last semester at college. There’s a lot of small reasons why coming back to rping has been tricky for me. 

1. Health problems (especially some nasty, chronic ones and mental ones) are rearing their ugly heads, making me feel nasty in times I don’t expect it. 

2. Making icons, promos and overall updating this here blog stresses me out. I’m in that awkward spot of REALLY wanting to update this outdated blog, but also being incredibly intimidated by all the things I need to make and update. 

3. Being gone for some time makes me feel stupidly guilty for. Being gone. I hate coming back after vanishing off the face of the Earth for a hot second. Curse you anxiety.

4. College is a bitch, especially the senior year. Not just assignments, but adjusting to a new life and new people. It takes so much out of me.

There’s so much I wish I could say and explain, but at the same time, I don’t wanna make up excuses. All in all, things haven’t been the easiest. but I DO really wanna come back and rp with yall. I miss you guys so so much!! I can’t make any promises, but I can sure make attempts to come back!

- Muse page has changed quite a bit since the last time I shared it. Unfortunately, a lot have been yeeted off the list at least for the time being. It’s mostly for the sake of trying to ease my stress and getting around to working on muses I feel pretty solid about writing. I do have the missing muses’ bios and such saved in documents though, so they’re not gone for good! If I feel good about the progress I can make on this blog, then I’ll slowly add more!

- Speaking of muses, one of these misses muses is my round bandana boy. But he’s not in the muse void! He’s back on his home blog. For the time being, I’m reviving @dreamybandee! In the end, I thought it would be easier to leave the dee with what he has instead of trying to start over. Plus, only being one muse I hold so dearly, he’s really easy to go back to if I’m stressed! If things do get too hard to manage on multiple blogs, I’ll go back to plan B and add him on multi. But for the time being, he’s sticking around on his own!

- I hate doing this, but icons are going to be a little inconsistent. I simply don’t have the time to go back and remake them all to make them consistent. So in the meantime, I gotta stick with a mess of different icons. I hope you understand!

- Promos, tag reworks, and other graphics are still being worked on! I’ve got a pretty solid start in adding a new theme and plan to keep going from there! I’m gonna slowly chip away at things here and when I eventually get around to slapping a promo or some related post on here, that’s essentially gonna be me saying “Hey! I’m ready! Throw your muses at me!” so stay tuned!

- Wow Joy. Owning two blogs and that many muses? You must be exhausted. Well rest assured. I’m definitely NOT gonna make another blog with other muses.

Is what I would be saying if I was a good liar. Which I’m not.

All you mutuals that dabble in the Sonic community, keep a sharp eye out for another blog drop. These three got a hold of me and there’s no going back. :’)

Anyways! That’s the gist of what I wanted to get off my chest! I’m so sorry I made a great wall of text here! There was no easy way to say all of this and this has been long overdue I feel. Sorry I couldn’t say or do anything sooner!

I love yall and I hope to see you soon! Have a good one!

[corruptedsilence]

Anonymous asked: I honestly get it to an extent. I suffer from depression and anxiety and all that fun stuff. But for mine it comes and hits hard for a week or two and then leaves for months. But when I'm depressed, nothing helps much either. :/ But honestly, it DOES help to know people care about you, for me at least. Just people sending me kind words and stuff. Or people sending in threads and RPs to distract my brain. Just remember it's not weak or anything to rely on a few friends from time to time. (1/?) Anonymous asked: I'll be happy to throw you some anons if I see you down. Whether it's kind anons or anons asking questions for Missi to help distract the brain. I know we've never talked, but I really enjoy you on my dash. And let me tell ya, I normally unfollow non mutuals after a week. But there's some people who just seem like someone I wanna hang with, even if it's on anon. I'm not always on, but if you need someone to vent to, you can vent to me if you'd like. I know how it is to bottle it all up.

Sorry I was eating my borger and fries fhewjk

But yeah I totally get that. If people have been around me long enough they know I tend to get like that too. My depression is (at least in my opinion) always worst in Spring and Summer just because the heat absolutely murders me and I find it so difficult to get motivation to do anything. IDK what’s with those seasons it just makes everything worse. Since summer is finally ending and Autumn (like my favorite season) is coming I feel already a lot more relaxed. The cooler temperatures and the rainy days are just helping me relax so much more. Winter too is also so much nicer because while I hate the silence there’s something about Winter that just, it’s a calm quiet instead of silence. Like the entire world for once, can curl under a blanket and restf and that it’s a rest we’ve waited all year to take.

My depression (minus last saturday) hasn’t been too bad. I haven’t intentionally self harmed in so long and my depression has felt more intrusive than active? What I’ve felt this past week or two hasn’t felt like my depression, like it’s someone else’s.

I agree kind words do help a lot, TBH I’ve kept a lot of asks in my inbox just to remind me of the nice words people say and something I can always go back to, to help remind me that I am worth it, that I am good. I’ve finally broken out of the “im not worth it” but more worried I’ve become the “im not good enough. I’m worthy to be here and have friends, but I don’t give anything in return for everything they give me” kinda thing.

If you ever want to my DMs are open? Or they should be at least. You can always send me an ask about who you are cuz yo udo seem like a really cool person! I don’t follow everyone who follows me back because I do have a lot of personal blogs following me (not that i mind since no one has been rude in spamming me or w/e) and Tumblr has a really annoying habbit of not telling me when people follow me??? I’ll look at my followers list from time to time and be like “wait, when did this person follow me?? Hello???” And this happens way too often.

Honestly? At this point I’d feel like we could be mutuals, even if we wouldn’t RP you seem like a really nice and chill person I’d want to support even if we don’t RP or we just slap each other anons lol. I appreciate everything you’ve been writing to me tonight and it honestly feels amazing. Wait it’s not night, it’s afternoon. RIP that’s what I get for sleeping 19 hours and living in a windowless room lol. Always feel free to hit me up, you’re more than shown to be a really cool dude (or dudette) I’d like to chill with too, or just support. Anyone who’s willing to go to this extent to help someone feel better I feel like should be given the respect they deserve because I’ll always respect people who do things like this.

Time is something that is valuable however cheesy it is, but it’s true. And the fact you’re willing to spend time to send me these messages shows to me how much you do genuinely care and how kind you are. So thank you, so much for these and I do hope to see you again whether anon or not I’ll treasure these messages and hope you don’t mind me filing these away with my other kind asks

[storyofwhoiam]

*            knowing      your      partner      well      can      potentially      make      writing      a      lot      easier,            repost,            do      not      reblog.

NAME:   lu PRONOUNS:   they   /   them      PREFERENCE   OF   COMMUNICATION:   discord mainly - i get distracted and then forget about IMs here. mutuals, please just ping me a message with your username and i’ll add you! NAME   OF   MUSE(s):  😭 there’s many lol. the one’s i’ve been writing most of recently are- allie novak, amy cameron, bridget westfall, franky doyle, justino rosa EXPERIENCE/HOW   LONG   (MONTHS   /   YEARS?) :   i wanna say vaguely 10+ years BEST   EXPERIENCE:  not an individual one, and not all that surprising but making friends with so so many lovelies  RP   PET   PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS :   there’s not a lot to be honest. about the only thing that comes to mind right now isn’t a dealbreaker at all but i’ve just never got the insistence of reblogging from the source. i get that everyone’s entirely entitled to whatever preferences they want (and i try to remember everyone’s preferences!), but even as someone who finds replies direct from my activity i don’t get not wanting to see likes/reblogs in there MUSE   PREFERENCES   FLUFF,   ANGST   OR   SMUT :   honestly, all of them in combination.  PLOTS   OR   MEMES: both again. i don’t mind if you lean more one way or the other but a combination is ideal in my book. i like to talk about the general vibe of a bunch of different possible connections before throwing memes about, just because it makes it easier to know what sort of dynamics you might be up for. and then we can chat about / plot other stuff around their interactions as we go along! LONG   OR   SHORT   REPLIES: this depends very much on whether we’ve plotted / how much. if we haven’t plotted at all, shorter is more likely. and on the topic, i’m not bothered about matching length, but if we’re passing back and forth one-liners and you reply with multiple paragraphs, it may take a good deal longer to get a reply again - i’m 100% here for multi-para replies but would prefer to just start with longer replies, or work up to etc. BEST   TIME   TO   WRITE:  early evening (UK time!) ARE   YOU   LIKE   YOUR   MUSE(S):  bits and pieces like some and completely unlike others

TAGGED               :     @muutos TAGGING              :    @sanctuarymade  @analyticallyminded  @heldwoven  @wistcrias  @luriddaze  @ardentsolis   @tenderstars  

[fists4once]

#𝙵𝙸𝚂𝚃𝚂𝟺𝙾𝙽𝙲𝙴 : a  fandom - less portrayal of  archie andrews, inspired by ethel cain's preacher's daughter and removed from canon.      often dc based, but very crossover friendly ! extremely personal + original take on the character, re - written as fandom - less and very headcanon heavy. sb to enslaughts.

a study in broken promises and fallen pedestals, bruised knuckles punching in the wind, hero complexes, lost childhood and butterfly nets, grief as anger, healing, what it means to have a body, and to not.     𝟶𝟼/𝟸𝟸/𝟸𝟹.     re - imagined  by  jean,  23,  they/any.

notes. prompts.

dash rules.

you do not need to be following my main to follow and interact with me over here.     however,  i do require that i be following you from there before interaction.

000. . .     disclaimer.

the rpc's distancing from riverdale is very much understood, however, my portrayal of archie is incredibly personalized and wholly adapted to a personal trajectory of mine over the last half a decade. inspiration is taken from the cw show for his backstory, but my default verse for archie is only vaguely season five - like, but that's about it as far as similarities go. this character is a comfort muse unfortunately and incredibly comfortable for me to write simply because of how long i've been doing it. if you hate riverdale, i promise i've heard it all before and am not here to hash it out, but to write what's practically become an original character for me. if you don't wanna be here, simply scroll or block, beloved.

001. . .     activity.

i'll be frank : i write pretty sporadically, and this goes for ic and ooc interactions. i can get overwhelmed juggling responsibilities often, and socializing is one of the first things to go.     i un  /  fortunately work 40 hour work weeks, and only get every other weekend off,  so my schedule makes consistent activity difficult on top of my focus. if i can successfully plot something with you, i find my muse is sooo much more involved, but i'm contradictorily bad at it due to the reasons above ; it's truly hit or miss, and i understand if that becomes frustrating for any of my partners.    sometimes i’ll be able to get out a couple drafts a week,  others merely once,  or not at all. if i haven’t replied or answered something in a while,  please know it’s nothing personal, i’m just taking my time until i feel good about what i can put down.     writing is a hobby i enjoy, but if you're looking for a blog with any sort of regularity, this isn't the one for you. i have other rp blogs i try to run as well,  therefore i might be very slow on this one at times.     i can be quite the flaky rp partner,  so i apologize in advance for that and completely understand if my antics   [  or lack thereof  ]   result in an unfollow. if i go longer than two months without activity, i'll try to make a hiatus notice.

002. . .     following.  

because of the previously stated,  i’m also highly selective with who i rp with.     i want to not to bite off more than i can chew,  and for the sake of pacing myself,  my activity will be reserved for mutuals only.     if my thread count gets too high for my liking, it's not uncommon that i drop threads, but i will absolutely try and let you know if that happens.     duplicates are always welcome <3   [  let me know if you need me to tag same - muse posts and i’ll be happy to !  ] i regularly go on softblocking sprees to keep my follower count semi - low, but do feel free to re - follow if you feel like the stars merely misaligned for our first bout of mutual following and i'd be very down to give it another shot. on that note, it'll take me a week+ to follow back sometimes, as i like to read through not only rules, but dossiers and verse pages, especially for ocs, so it can take a hot minute.

003. . .     etiquette.

the basics  ;  don’t be an asshole,  any transphobia,  biphobia,  homophobia,  racism,  whitewashing,  pro - shipping,  incest,  etc,  will be blocked on sight.     no godmodding,  please cut your threads,  continue asks in new posts,  etc,  and no stealing of any personal concepts of mine.     loose inspiration is fine,  but if i see repeated similarities,  i may or may not approach you about it.     formatting - wise,  here is an example of my prose style.     i primarily use big ol’ text and static or no icons,  beta editor + xkit rewritten,  but feel free to format however you like and i’ll try to match you somewhat. since my concussion, however, i will no longer be threading with super small text or anything heavily formatted, as this can strain my eyes and make headaches worse, even with my glasses.

004. . .     shipping.  

i’m all about exploring meaningful dynamics,  whether they be platonic,  familial,  antagonistic,  pre - established,  etc,  so feel free to shoot me a message if you’d like to plot something out between our muses !     while the mun of this blog is 18+,  smut just really isn’t my thing  ;  referenced  ‘ offscreen ’  as it were is fine,  as are nfsfw headcanons and such,  maybe fade to black  /  time skips,  but for the most part,  you won’t find any roleplayed smut on this blog.     this of course is muse dependent and does not apply to any underage muses.     romance is fine to some degree,  but again,  if they are a child,  anything beyond lighthearted and innocent experiences are off limits,  no exceptions.     if i see you’ve aged up a minor character for shipping purposes,  it will result in an instant unfollow.     if at some point i flesh out adult verses for them,  these shipping rules will not change.     on that note as well,  i do prefer to rp with muns who are also 18+.     i don’t see your age somewhere in your rules or pinned,  it will affect my willingness to follow.

005. . .     memes.

memes from anyone,  anytime,  for the muse or for the mun,  are always welcome,  and often a go - to ice breaker of mine since starter calls make me nervous.     please don’t hesitate to send a good handful since i try not to cage myself into answering ones i just don’t have muse for.     i find if i force stuff,  i’m just less likely to ever actually get it done,  so don’t feel like you’re overwhelming me if you send more than just a couple for me to choose from.     please remember to specify which muse your asks are for unless it’s to one of my sideblogs.     if you want to start a thread from an ask,  i greatly encourage it since i try to write most answers as potential starters anyway ! lastly, any memes in my tag aren't expired. if i don't want them sent in anymore, i'll delete them from the tag.

006. . .     triggers.  

this blog leans horror - adjacent in many ways,  and this blog will be portraying that accordingly,  including trigger - heavy content such as  :  depression,  ptsd,  panic attacks,  body horror / issues, violence / injury,  horror elements,   parental death, smoking,  religious imagery,  as well as past statutory rape,  but i will try to tag it as  ‘ trigger // ’.     on that note,  please do keep in mind  :  any abuse present on my blog will be in headcanons or backstories,  never actual threads.     if i’m writing with villain muses,  physical harm may be present,  but i refuse to roleplay any domestic  /  animal  /  harm or abuse in any form.     my personal triggers are visual eye gore,  visual self harm,  and visual vomit.     please do feel free to say something if i forget to tag a post and i’ll try to tag it for you right away !

whew. all that said, i'm jean, 23, white, and i use they/any pronouns ! thank you for taking the time to read my rules,  and rest assured if i follow you,  that means i’ve read through yours as well <3 discord is available for mutuals upon request.

007. . .     blogroll.

enslaughts.     a medium activity horror - heavy multimuse. dvrast.     a selective jesper fahey. low activity.     follows from enslaughts. wolfsp1der.     an original spider - person. low activity. wayfares.     a selective western multimuse. hiatus. greatloss.     a selective slow five hargreeves. hiatus. clericlost.     a selective slow william byers. hiatus. mindsflayed.     a selective slow mind flayer + vecna. hiatus.     follows from clericlost.

[fatummortem]

Anon asked: I haven’t seen many ships on your blog. What ships would you like or have for your muses? Accepting Curious Anons

    Y’mean on my blog or in canon? I’m answering both & this got a bit long so, read more it is~ Adding my work in progress muses on here too. Though spoiler alert I like chemistry.

   Daken with Aurora is adorable. I waited a bit to see more of them & I have to say I pretty much love it. Kinda liking the vibe that a poly relationship is going to maybe happen with Somnus, so we’ll see. I have a lot of ships, they’re just not around right now. Y’know how it is, sometimes ya need a breather from things. Donno if they’ll go back to their blogs, so I’m not listing them. Don’t wanna make them feel pressure into coming back. 

    I have an Unrequited ship with @dementedspeedster for Rosie & Rosie’s love for him seems to be shifting over to just a strong friendship. But she’s probably not gunna stop pranking his ass if it does.

     I have a ship for Daken with Deb/Sungirl that’s the one I change the URL to Circus Rose. The muns shifting blogs rn so I can’t tag her. I adore them honestly.

     There is something starting for Rosie with @symbioteburnout​ where we’re seeing where things go.

      I have a few muses I’m working on adding. Nocturne I think is adorable with Blink but I don’t care if anything comes from it in the comics. Nocturne’s been stuck in a reality for ages so I don’t have any that scream at me to get. That & there aren’t many Exiles about. Cloud well canonly I have a love for him & Aerith or Aeris but I have a fondness for a lot of things in that fandom. Even some that are in Kingdom Hearts.  I am hoping something Poly pops up I’m not listing but I usually do. I’m more of a chemistry kinda guy for my muses so we’ll where the rabbit hole leads. 

     Over the years I found Rosie’s super hard to keep ships? So most rps with her, if not all, are just angling for friendship. She’ll probably be oblivious just for the fact she’s really bad at Relationships. I did have a ship that lasted a long time with a Jason for her, which was platonic. I did enjoy her & Eddie in New Earth. Tho that was tragic.

     That’s not counting the ships i have on discord, but that’s all on discord so I’m not gunna list them all. Tho if you’re reading this & want me to list the ship on here, gimme a nudge & I will.

      I had a few things I was talking about before I went quiet so idek if it’s still down. Again if it is, feel free to thwap my noggin & I’ll add it.

[coincount]

      THE LAST OF US RP STARTERS              PART I

Well, I have some interesting news for you.

Are these assholes still with us?

Only got a few hours left until curfew.

Ration line hasn't opened yet. Must be running low again.

Better not mention them too loudly. You don't want the wrong person hearing you.

Fuck... so much for the easy route.

Patch yourself up, alright?

You see that shit?

You stay outta trouble, alright? Military's gonna be out in force soon.

No signs of military or infected.

Let's grab our gear. Our backpacks are still here from last time.

Make your shots count.

It's like we're on a date.

You think he's still got our guns?

Once we get our merchandise back, it should be easy to unload.

Body's not that old. Better keep your eyes and ears open.

Get your ass up here. Let's move.

Didn't realise you two were together.

Turn the fuck around and leave now.

I will bash your skull unless you turn around and get your dumb ass outta here.

Let's spread out and make sure no one's creeping around here.

You're insane. Going outside the wall is suicide.

You wanna tell us where the guns are?

You know, I might've done that if you hadn't tried to fucking kill me.

I need something smuggled out of the city.

Ain't a big fan of these odds.

We can sneak by them, even though I know that's not your style.

Damn, we missed all the action.

I'm running on fumes, but I'll make it.

What the hell are we smuggling?

Get the fuck away from her!

What're you, like twelve?

I'll be honest with you, I could give two shits about what you're up to.

You mumble in your sleep.

Sorry it took so long - soldiers are fucking everywhere.

I'm not infected.

Everyone turns within two days, so you stop bullshitting.

When I give you the signal, we run.

There's so many of them out there - how are we supposed to get past them?

They haven't spotted us yet, let's go around.

You better be worth it.

Are we safe?

Hey, fuck you, man. I didn't ask for this.

I mean, we've come this far, let's just finish it.

Damn. That's quite a drop.

If you hear one clicking, you gotta hide - that's how they spot you.

Let's search for supplies.

Other than shitting my pants, I'm fine.

This is crazy. Just don't look down.

I was thinking... after we get back, we can take it easy for a little while.

How do we get out of this place?

How were you bitten?

I'm surprised she didn't shoot you.

Man... you can't deny that view.

I can't swim.

I know you're getting paid for this, but I'm trying to say thanks.

I know that you are smarter than this.

Guess what, we're shitty people. It's been that way for a long time.

I'm not going anywhere. This is my last stop.

Our luck had to run out sooner or later.

Holy shit, she's infected.

Oops, right?

This is fucking real.

I can buy you some time, but you have to run.

I will not turn into one of those things.

Come on. Make this easy fro me.

We just left her to die.

Let's find them and get the hell out of here before clickers show up.

They'll think you're crazy, or they'll try to kill you.

You do what I say, when I say it. We clear?

I've never seen anything like this, that's all.

I don't mean to upset you, but your friend's chances of survival weren't too high to begin with.

I doubt I could get either one of us back into the city in one piece.

So let's say we get a car from this buddy of yours. Then what?

Some places got a head's up before the infection showed up. Most didn't.

Must be hard, just leaving all your stuff behind like that.

Anybody else live in this town?

Let me use that. I'm a pretty good shot with that thing.

When we get there, you let me do the talking.

You're gonna find my body when I die from a heart attack.

Jeez, that thing scared the shit outta me!

Those things are kinda awesome.

Get off your ass and on your feet!

Don't slow down. This place ain't secure.

You got any bites?

Who the fuck is this punk and what's she doing here?

Whatever favours you think I owe you, it isn't worth that much.

If I'm gonna do this, there's some gear I'm gonna need.

Whatever supplies you may want or need, I suggest you grab them.

Man, he's got a fucking stick up his ass.

Don't leave the door open.

Can't believe you agreed to this bullshit.

Why don't you fix one of those cars?

Don't be a dick.

You picked a hell of a place to hole up.

As bad as those things are, at least they're predictable.

It's the normal people that scare me.

I need a gun.

This goes on record as the worst fucking job you've ever taken.

In this world, that sort of shit's good for one thing: getting you killed.

Nice place you got here.

If you would give me a gun, I could help you kill some of these fuckers!

Maybe you should've given her a gun.

There's more of those clicker things inside the house.

That was easier than I thought it'd be. They must be holed up somewhere else.

Get me up there and I'll drop it to you.

Don't get killed up there.

Oh, fuck - they're piling over this fence over here. It's not gonna hold!

Please tell me you're done!

Get ready to haul ass.

Shit, there's more on the way. Barricade the doors.

That doesn't sound good.

What the fuck is that!?

Hate to interrupt your little biology lesson, but can we get the fuck outta here please?

Oh, I fucking hate those things!

So... that worked out well.

Somebody had the same idea. They stole my shit.

You ought to be thankful you're still drawing breath.

That was plan A, B, C, all the way to fucking Z.

He's the only idiot who would wear a shirt like that.

Look, you wanted a plan B. This is as good as it gets.

Let me know when you're ready to finish this thing.

You're doing a good job. I figure you should know.

We're gonna give it another go.

That girl nearly got us killed.

You'd be amazed at how many cars still have gas in them.

Get the fuck out of my town.

This make you all nostalgic?

Oh... why are all these pages stuck together?

I'm just fucking with you.

Why don't you try and get some sleep, alright?

Holy shit... are we going to help him?

What's wrong with these guys?

This motherfucker's dangerous... he killed all of them.

You know the drill. Look around, see if there's anything we can use.

There's some pretty gnarly stuff in here.

That's a lot of people that didn't make it.

So, uh. You kill a lot of innocent people?

I guess this is where the assholes sleep.

Dead people don't get infected.

You sacrifice the few to save the many.

Where did you learn to shoot?

If you want some lessons, I'm more than willing to help you out.

They pull this crap every time. I swear to god, if they're holding out on us again...

Okay, we need to lighten the mood.

It doesn't matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

I found a joke book.

I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra. It was a booby trap.

“A book just fell on my head. I only have myself to blame." Oh wait, I said it wrong. Hold on, let me read it again. "A book just fell on my head... I only have my shelf to blame." Heh... ruined it.

Do you even understand what that means?

It's strange seeing a checkpoint with no soldiers.

This place has been abandoned for a while now.

Let's keep it down while we're going through this area, okay?

I'm so fucking tired.

Now that we have enough people watching all the exits, he says we can set up a larger perimeter.

Every time we try, it ends up with a bunch of us getting killed.

Keep your expectations in check, youngun. You'll live longer.

Look at all these books. I wish I had more room in my backpack.

What did the mermaid wear to her math class? An algae bra.

Okay, I'm all joked out.

We're cutting through the hotel.

The wood's all rotten.

Ever stay in a place like this? Before it all went to shit, I mean.

I really miss coffee.

You are a weird kid.

"People are making up apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow..." Too soon.

We've got another floor to check.

[tendousthoughts]

hey! what about kuroo and suna calling their s/o annoying? i love your work by the way!

HQ Boys Calling Their S/O Clingy pt. 2

Character(s) included: Kuroo & Suna

Warning(s): Foul language (cursing)

A/N: I realized that in my part one I actually had them call them clingy, I really hope that’s what you meant!! I am really dumb and titled it wrong! So imma make this clingy/annoying now- again I apologize! Anything that is with the line next to it (like now) happened the day before, anything normal is present day! This is my first request on here! Thank you so much for all the support on my first part (here). Thank youuu to the writer on this, I’m so glad you enjoy my writing! As always my ask box is open for request, comment, or if you just have some questions! Follows and likes are greatly appreciated! Reblogs help my content get spread so please if you find it good go ahead and do so thank you! Also if anyone wants to rp as lovers- I don’t care about the gender! They can just be meeting or whatever lmao I’m bored.

Song of the day: I was an island

My Masterlist: here

Credit: @/teesumu

Kuroo

You and Kuroo rarely fought. Almost the perfect couple some might say. But his long nights at his job are getting tough to deal with. With your anniversary coming up, you were ready to just celebrate it together. Yet it didn’t really go as planned.

“Um.. Kuroo you think you can take off of work for like a week. Like two weeks from now?” You smiled thinking of how fun it would be.

“Um.. I don’t know,” he grumbled sleepily as he wrote down some notes.

“Oh okay.. um if you can that would be great be-” he finally turned to you looking dead into your eyes.

“I already said that I’ll see okay? I need you to stop being so fucking clingy and annoying.” He lashed out. He immediately covered his mouth looking at you, realizing what he had just said.

“I didn’t mean to..” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes “I didn’t mean to lash out like that. I’m sorry y/n.” You just stood there and shook your head.

Wiping your teary eyes. It wasn’t like you haven’t ever heard that or even thought that before. But hearing it from the love of your life hurt a lot more. “It’s fine. I’m fine. Don’t worry..” you whisper as you make your way to the bathrooms to wipe down your teary cheeks.

You guys went to bed after that. The only thing that seemed to keep you guys close, were the empty sheets. The thought of you being clingy stuck.

When you woke up you got up and made breakfast for the both of you leaving his on the table while you began to work. You kept thinking back to the night before. God why did it hurt so much. Were you really that clingy? Were you that annoying to everyone? You pushed all that down. Deep down. When he woke up he didn’t feel the best.

“Morning kitty..” he mumbled as his voice sounded like frogs croaking.

“You okay?” You mumble as you type away.

“Not feeling too good.. I might stay home.” He grabbed the food you left for him. “Thanks for breakfast.”

You glanced over and then looked back. “Okay.” He looked a bit confused and walked over sitting next to you on the couch.

“So you wanna hang out today or..?” He chuckles a bit.

“I’m fine, but thanks for asking. I got a lot of work to do but I’ll talk to you later.” You mumbled as you type some more notes onto your email and send it.

He stood there confused, you never said no to hanging out. It was like you were someone different, but at the same time it could just be that you did have a lot of work to do. “Oh okay..” he mumbled, getting up.

A couple hours pass and he comes up to you again as you watch tv. You were at you breaking point when he asked what was wrong yet you tried to contain yourself. He tried to wrap his warm arms around you yet you dodged it and left the room.

At night he came in and looked at you, “Why have you been so distant today..?” He whispered as he poked at you.

You look at him with tears as you finally broke. “I am sorry.. I.. I just was trying to be less clingy for you.” Your voice cracked as you hid your face from him.

He ran up to you wrapping his tight warm arms around you, even trying to be freed; you weren’t able to break through. “Babe...” he whispered softly. “I told you I was being an ass last night. I am sorry, you’re not clingy or annoying and I know you just wanted to hang out. I know you were trying to just be helpful by telling me in advance and I was being a dick babe. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.” Hw whispered in your ear as he held you. “I am sorry kitty.. I am so sorry,” he mumbled softly.

You melted in his grasp, “it’s okay..” you mumble. “I just wanna cuddle for a bit if you don’t mind...?”

“Of course baby.. anything for you,” he mumbles just a bit before closing his eyes. “I love you so much..”

“I love you to baby..” you held on tight relaxing just a bit.

Suna

Suna... Suna. He was something, always calm and collected with you. But when he was having a rough day he was quite the opposite. It was like he was a different person.

You clung to him the moment you guys met. Being there with him when nobody else would. Your love language was touch and you couldn’t deny it. Just by holding his hand gave you butterflies.

“Welcome home!” You smiled as he walked in. God, he looked like a mess. He looked tired and sick. “Are you feeling okay?” You clung to his arm.

“Not really..” he mumbled as he made his way to the bedroom.

“Do you wanna take a bath? I can get one started?” You were trying to be helpful, honestly you were but the questions were starting to get on his nerves.

“Uh sure..” he grumbled.

“Do you wan-” he lost it. He couldn’t deal with the amount of questions.

“Can you stop?” He shoved you off. “Just get off me. You’re too clingy, and I don’t need your help with everything. Leave me the fuck alone will you?” You look at him shocked.

“I’m..” you mumble something underneath your breath. “Nevermind sorry for wasting your time, and being so clingy.” You walk off leaving him shocked and feeling like a dick.

You decided to sleep in the spare bedroom that night not wanting to be “too clingy” again.

When you woke up you went to the room he was sleeping in to grab your clothes and head back into the room. When you finished changing you decided to head out and clear your mind a bit.

“Baby can we talk..?” He knocked on the now empty room door. He barely slept thinking about how much of an ass he was. He slowly opened the door. “Ba-” he looked around and assumed you left.

When you walked back into the house he seemed to be waiting for you. “Uh.. welcome back..” he mumbled.

“I guess, you need something or can I just go back to my room?” You look over.

“Uh I was thinking we can talk maybe?” He looked up.

“Uh I don’t know what about but sure.” You sat far away from him looking up at him softly. “So.. what do you wanna talk about?”

He looked over, “I didn’t mean what I said yesterday.. I’m sorry. Please stop being so distant.. I love you” he couldn’t make up a single thought.

“ ‘s okay... I love you baby..” you mumbled softly tears bribing your eyes as you looked up.

“Um.. can we cuddle or - ?” He looked up as your arms tightly wrapped around him. He sighed contently relaxing into your arms. This was all he ever needed, you.

Follows and likes are appreciated! Please reblog if you enjoyed it so more people can find my work! Thank you all for your support! Stay safe, and have a good rest of your day!

[jozstankovich]

2022 |

I wanted to write something for New Years and didn’t get around to it, so here we are now.

Gunna put it under a cut because I’m gunna get a little personal;;

I’ve spent most of my twenties running away from and avoiding the difficult things I didn’t wanna deal with. Six years ago I got married and bought a house and even at the time I knew I was making a mistake, but I pressed on because that’s what you do, that’s the dream, right?  But I knew something didn’t feel right. Two years into it I was deeply unhappy and I realized I couldn’t continue pretending to be something I’m not just because the alternative was easier. Four years ago I began to change things for myself and it wasn’t until the very end of 2021 that I finally finished it.

I’m single again and my house is up for sale. To some people from the outside looking in, it may look like I failed, because I had everything you’re supposed to want and I gave it up. Sure I may be moving back in with my parents at 33 and I don’t have any lofty ambitions or dream job I’m chasing, but for the first time in a long time I’m happy. It took me 33 years to figure out who I am.  And I know I’m not done learning things, but the picture right now is clearer than it’s ever been.

I’m queer, aroace, and non-binary. I’m not always good with words, I still listen to music from the mid2000’s, and I love with all my heart.  I like my blue collar job, I’m good at it. I’m too busy having fun making fan works to focus on original ideas, and I’m okay with that. 

I’m not always good at getting started on things and often need a little push, but I’ve learned that the hard things are worth it and I’m just lucky that I have people around me who I can lean on. So here I am, starting this new year almost completely fresh and I am so looking forward to it.

Throughout my journey I’ve been hurt by people I thought were friends, but that’s only shown me who my real friends are and they bring me so much joy—whether we talk every day or once a month.  So without further ado, I wanted to thank a few of you that have been there for me through this past year:

@santacarlahorrorshow - Mel, my horror buddy, my same brain twin, even though we’re no longer active in the same fandoms I love that we support each other in our interests and still geek out together. And when I’m being too hard on myself you’re always there to kick my brain back into shape.

@super-unpredictable98 - Flor, the Lyddie to my Win, my favourite rp partner, I know you’ve been having a hard time lately, but I’m so thankful that you’re still along for the ride with me, no matter what. I love watching new animes with you and that we have the same taste in fictional men so we can thirst together. Also thank you for all the new kinks lmao.

@crytalstellar - Nikuuu, I’m so glad I forced got you into bnha with me. I missed talking oc stuff with you and just talking to you in general. You’re still one of my favourite people, and I’m so so happy that you’re writing again >w<

I could write paragraphs about all my friends and mutuals, but I’m running out of word steam. So to all of you, please know how special you are to me and how much I appreciate you, even if we haven’t talked much lately, I still think of you often.

@magic-multicolored-miracle @elliethesuperfruitlover @crabstick @catsnathan @maerenee930 @salvador-daley @spanishmossmagnolia @wadewilsonswebhead @seigephoenix @badsext @hucklebunny @the-dollhouse-system

+ all the new mutuals I’ve made recently and hope to get to know more over the coming year! (I would tag you all, but I’m afraid of getting annoying lol) Y’all are wonderful and amazing.

💖 joz

[nightferns]

How c!Ranboo's attitude towards c!Wilbur lines up with everything he's been told | a quote list

All /rp of course

So on Tubbo's last lore stream (my new purpose) Ranboo said this:

"-thats why im here so when he does something that does redeem himself then someone can be there that will be able to see it and everything, and honestly i'd rather have it be me the person, rather have the person that be there be me instead of maybe someone else[...]"

And then this, when asked why he didn't tell Wilbur about marriage:

"[...]From what i've heard from Tommy and everything the Wilbur that 13 years ago- at least might've- he used stuff against Tommy and everything so just in case- "

And it made me wonder what exactly lead him to that opinion so i spent a day ghathering quotes in which Ranboo heard/or was told something about Wilbur, before the revival. Its a bit of a long one so strap in.

Convos about Alivebur that Ranboo either listened to or was a part of, pre-meeting him.

Vod: Tubbo and Tommyinnit Start To Break Apart…

TommyVods

Tommy [talking about Techno]: -Wilbur died in action, so he doesn't- so he didn't live long enough to face the consequences, but that guy he is a fucking bitch.

Ranboo: So he was fighting with you and then he decided to go against you.

Tommy: yeah. He decided that the last minute "Hey! Hey what im gonna do is fuck everyone over."

Ranboo: Oh… so he was sort of a vigilante of sorts? His own-

 [...]

Tommy: sit down [on the bench]…  fuck. I just want back the discs, that's all- thats all I've wanted everytime im sat on this bench, that's all we've wanted.

Ranboo: Yeah, I can tell... You seem pretty adamant about those.

Tommy: Yeah! It's because-! Literally bro- since the- four months! [...] four months ago is when I first started trying to get these discs! And it was just me, Tubbo- there was no Technoblade on this server! There were like 6 people- and it was just me and tub- there was no nation there was no- it's always been about getting back the shit dream stole from this very chest!

So now Tubbo's gotten this position of power and is doing it- it's dis- it's disappointing.

B-but thank you, for sticking up for me, no one did that, you saw big Q fucking turning on me- you saw Fundy- they're-  they're just sheep bro, they're just sheep. Thank you

Ranboo: Well, you stuck up for me when you could've easily pinned it on me. You could've just said "oh, he was the one that did it", because- i mean, my name was being said in there too, but then you just decided to take all of it and now we're in this situation.

So I couldn't just let that happen, I couldn't stand by, have Tubbo call you selfish when you did something- the opposite.

Tommy: Thank you-

If they evict me through- that is it he-

Ranboo: yeah.

Tommy: -dude, you know i'm worried- i- i don't want to, i know there's that one line that we- that rings through my head as i sleep l of Wilbur going "Tommy, let's be the bad guys." But I wanna- i don't wanna be the bad guys. I just want-

Ranboo: I don't think that's- that's not a good thing to do.

Tommy: The reason- do I say this now? Yeah-  The reason I didn't make Tubbo the leader, when I had- and I could've chose anyone, and I chose Wilbur, the man who was already half-insane but I knew he was coming back around, and I didn't choose Tubbo.

Is because i knew that if tubbo was the president,

it would pull us apart Ranboo, and look at him he's picking his nation over me. And i- and if he does on Friday I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself.

Ranboo: No matter what happens on friday i'll help you. I'll-I'll figure it out- I'll try to talk to Tubbo, i'll try to see if something better can happen.

.

Vod: *Archive* Mar 6, 2021

Philza

Phil: [places down a picture of Wilbur] my son.

Ranboo: Oh. There he is.

Phil: I wanna put his picture in the-in the meeting room, cruz i want to be reminded, i miss him, it's lik- he's been gone a long time.

Ranboo: He has. He really has. He's been gone, before I even came here.

Phil: He did some dumb shit y'know. And my hand was forced, in a sense, but I miss him everyday, I do miss him.

Ranboo: Oh, yeah i heard about that

Phil: I do wish he'd come back.

Ranboo: Yeah, Well… well I mean, wasn't he a ghost for a little bit?

Phil: Yeah, but that wasn't really him-

Ranboo: Oh.

Phil: That was- That was like the pure kind of innocent version of him if that was to exist I think, he was very kind of uhm- it was just not him though, it was just not him. So it was kind of like talking to a doll of like- someone.

Ranboo: I mean- I mean it's the most you're able to get at least. Like-

Phil: Yeah…

[...]

Phil: -sad, miss child, miss, maybe i shouldn't have stabbed him but you know.

Ranboo: Yeah, well i mean- yeah.

Phil: I Bet if- i bet if- if i was to talk to him again he' would- he would probably forgive me, he- he definitely was at the end of his rope and i dunno maybe he'd think of it differently.

Ranboo: I mean, it was his wishes, I mean he wouldn't- it was his wishes, it wasn't- like- he wouldn't- he wouldn't not forgive you for following what he asked you to do.

Phil: Yeah. I dunno.

Ranboo: But- one day hopefully-

Phil: Can't help but think if i did the right thing or not sometimes.

Ranboo: I mean, when you think about what he would have done if you hadn't, you know?

Phil: Yeah, he was out of control.

Ranboo: Like if you- if you hadn't like- would anything- would anything have changed?

Phil: I dunno, I kinda showed up at the most chaotic time possible and yeah it was just- didn't really have a lot of time to process things. It was like "Hey I should probably stop him from blowing up this place" that I had no real knowledge of other than that he helped build it. That's all I heard. I got- i got like letters from him just like telling me what he'd been up to and stuff, and that he was having fun with this friends and then the letters stopped, and i got worried so i started to like- 

Ranboo: mhm.

Phil: -make my way over to this area.

Ranboo: Yeah.

Phil: And I was right to worry, apparently.

Ranboo: I mean, I don't know, I think- I mean, I think there's really- there's really nothing you can do about it now, you know? There's- it's really like- you can- you can try and get closure but I mean, the ghost- Ghostbur is missing in action and he has been for a little while, and...

Phil: Yeah, whenever I talked to Ghostbur I didn't really feel like I was talking to him though, like it wasnt really- It was him but it wasn't him, like-

Ranboo: Yeah.

Phil: It's hard to explain.

Ranboo, I mean you just- i- i think you did the right thing even though its not- it wasn't the optimal thing, you know? I mean, was it the best solution? Probably not, but it was still a solution so.. I'd say you still did a good thing even though in your eyes it's probably not good, but what else were you gonna- what else were we gonna do?

Phil: Yeah, true.

Ranboo: yeah.

.

Vod: Tommy's Plan to Kill Dream

TommyVods

Tommy: Tubbo, I died. I spoke to Schlatt, I spoke to Wilbur, Wilbur Soot, alright?

Tubbo: Has Schlatt changed his ways? Or is he still smoking and drinking-

Tommy: Tubbo, they've been in there for so long, and so many years, alright?

Tubbo: Years? They've only died months ago-

Tommy: Tubbo, I was in that prison for about… month and five days, alright. Time in death though? I was here for months and months and months! Time's different when you d- Don't tell anyone this- Time's different when you die.

Tubbo: So you're older, now curz-

Tommy: I don't, I don't know! [...]

.

Tommy: -But Listen to me! I've seen everything! I know so much more than you now, I've been with the dead and I know so much more! So much more I'm not willing to explain. But listen to me we need to kill him, before it's too late-

[...]

.

Tubbo: Why is it different now? Why are we killing him- why didn't we just kill him to begin with, when we had the chance? Why did you put it off?

Tommy: Because Tubbo i thought he would use the revive book for go- ok, this is what he said to me he said he will only use the revivebook to revive Wilbur, and he said that that when he gets out out of the he's gonna hurt, not just you, but everyone i care for, he's gonna hurt everyone. So please we need to kill him.

[...]

Tubbo: So why don't you want him to bring Wilbur back now? What suddenly changed? 

Tommy: I've spent months in the death area- well- let's call it the death zone, with Wilbur, right.

Tubbo: the death zone? Like limbo-

Tommy: I've spent months there, I've spent months and months and months there and I was only there for a few days, Wilbur's been there for real months, he is so different and he is powerful and you know how he molds me like a piece of clay Tubbo. I don't want him to come back, we can't let him come back, and Dream said to me that he'll revive Wilbur.[...]

.

Tommy: No, i spoke to you, not Ghostbur, i spoke to you

Ghostbur: But i am Ghostbur

Tommy: I spoke to Wilbur,

Ghostbur: You don't wanna talk to him.

Tommy: I know, I never wanna talk to him again.

Ghostbur: He's not very nice, he's not a nice guy.

Tommy: Acu- Ghostbur i've got a question for you, do you want him to come back?

Because i- i don't, i don't think i do ever ever.

Ghostbur: He's a- i- uhm.. t-the world needs- needs structure and order and he he's good at that, he did that but- i-

Tommy: No, the world needs less villains, and he was a villain if I've ever seen one.

Ghostbur: But a villain is just a- sometimes the line's a little blurry, you could say, a little blurry it's a tiny bit, it's like a villain- a villain is just a hero you haven't convinced yet.

Tubbo: I'm not sure I follow you.

Tommy: No, but he started as hero, he started as a hero and then he was the villain.

Ghostbur: Well-

Tommy: I don't think we should bring him back ever. 

Ghostbur: Oh…

Tommy: I think you should-  you like being a ghost don't you? Hey! Look bl- Red! You can stand on the red! [...]

.

Ghostbur: Yeah,i- i- i like it here but  we were talking about this and i thought we wanted to bring back Wilbur, because he understood-

Tommy: No-

Ghostbur: -because, because L'manburg got blown up-

Tommy: No! No no no no, We don't want to bring back Wilbur, i've spent months with Wilbur, wh-when you die times different Ghostbur, i know i can speak to you 'cause you don- you keep secrets, times different, alright? i've spent so long with Wilbur,

Ghostbur: How- how long?

Tommy: Months and months and months alright? And if i was here for months, he's been there for years, possibly decades, he can't come back.

This isnt a-

Ghostbur: How- how- so what's the corversion? What's the- how long-

 Tommy: What's the conversion rate?-

Ghostbur: yeah, what's the-

Tommy: -God, you sound like a fuckin' bitcoin miner.

Ghostbur: -If time's different in the- in the- in the dead land then what's the- what do you call it? Limbo- if time is different in limbo then what's- what's- what's the difference?

Tommy: I don't really know. But I was there, apparently, I was dead, according to the Dream but he does lie, I was dead for- for 3 days. And i was there for-

Ghostbur: And how long, how long was that in months?

Tommy: I don't know, i can- i can say  months and months, i- i'd- i'd say between three to seven?

Ghostbur: Okey.

Tommy: So the middle, four point five.

Ghostbur: -So Wilbur's been dead for ten to twelve years.

Tommy: And there's a lot to learn when you're dead, innit?

Ghostbur: What did you learn? I've just forgotten things.

Tommy: Oh I learned about bad shit.

Ghostbur: Yeah?

Tommy: Do you know what Wilbur did? He very slowly and excruciatingly, over an entire month, explained to me what hemorrhoids was and it hurt me so much.

And then he'd go on about all the books he has been reading. It was terrible, it was the wor-

Tubbo: Did you see each other? Or were you just-

Tommy: Oh, Don't make me talk about it! Don't make me talk about it! Oh, it was- it was the worst!

.

Ghostbur: Tommy why didn't you want Wilbur back?

Tommy: Well… I spent a long long time speaking to Wilbur in- when I was dead. And i- and when I wanted to bring him back I thought he- I thought there was still some brotherness there, I thought maybe he's still my pal. And I found out he's not- he's only grown worse.

Ghostbur: He spent a lot of time around a bad guy, he spent, like a decade you said, around- around Schlatt and Schlatt's the bad- Schlatt's the bad guy right?

Tommy: I don't think Schlatt's the only bad guy.

Ghostbur: He's a bad guy right? Him and Eret are the bad guys right? That's the- that's the-

Tubbo: Yes, more or less.

Ghostbur: That's what you told me.

Ranboo: And Dream of course.

Tommy: There's a lot more bad guys.

[...]

.

Vod: Ranboo prepares with tommyinnit to take down dream on the dream smp full stream (VOD)

Ranboo Vods

Ranboo: [About Dream] He's trapped in there and we thought he was powerless but even in there he still has power that's why we're killing him actually. Its because-

Ghostbur: What's the worst he could do with the power?

Ranboo: He could bring back the people that are- well, technically the villains in this story, and then get out. And then start to do what he did before he got into prison, just again, and probably worse honestly!

Ghostbur: He's gonna bring back Schlatt?

Ranboo: He can bring back anyone that's died.

[...]

Ghostbur: Also- um, so are we- are we not bringing back Wilbur anymore? Is that… off the table? 'Cause Phil and Technoblade and- and- and people are still keen- and Eret is keen to bring back Wilbur. And i- i'm- Ranboo i gotta tell you i'm really scared. I- i'm not scared of Wilbur i think.

Ranboo: Yeah.

Ghostbur: I'm scared of going back to.. nothing. I- I'll be gone again. I dont- I- i kinda like being here and i like all my friends and i don't...

Ranboo: Yeah. See it's different with me because I never knew Wilbur, i never met Wilbur. I've only met, well you… so...

Ghostbur: I- I think im pretty- I like to think im pretty neat.

Ranboo: Yeah i think you're pretty neat too. I don't- i don't think-

Ghostbur: Yus!

Ranboo: I mean, Honestly i'd- i never knew Wilbur, i never met him but I mean,  what i've been told, he seemed like he had good intentions and- and i mean, i think that's kinda what you are, you are his good intentions.

Ghostbur: In a pint sized glass.

Ranboo: yeah.

Ghostbur: in a little package, little package.

Ranboo: yeah!

Ghostbur: I've read his memoirs Ranboo, i've read- they are all gone now they were blown up when my library was destroyed, so many really important pieces of history were blown up when that library was destroyed.

Ranboo: Definitely yeah.

Ghostbur: But I have- i read his memoirs and he- he was- he was pretty ok! Most of the time, he seemed like he was- people liked him but then- then- then he lost this election and- and- and you know the story, everyone knows the story. 

Ranboo: yeah, yeah.

Ghostbur: But i just- i- from seeing how much everything went down and how Tubbo was- was really badly you know? Scared with- by- by- you know? the explosion and things which- thinking about it that's- maybe was Technoblade's fault and Phil's fault, but um, because of all this now more than ever it's really important that we have a leader and that's why i was on the side on bringing him back

and if- if things have changed, if you tell me i'll go along with whatever you say if- if you think Ghostbur sticks around, i'll stick around but if you think Wilbur- Wilbur sticks around i'll- i'll do whatever it takes to help you! I just- I just wanna help! I just wanna help Ranboo!

Ranboo: yeah, im-

Ghostbur: -And i can see it in you that you know what's best.

Ranboo: The thing is i- i really don't. i mean, Ha- Wilbur... he seemed good, when you read anyone's memoirs it helps them… kinda rationalize the way that they think so- i honestly don't know, because-

Ghostbur: History is written by the winners.

Ranboo: Yeah and he, he technically won, I mean he did what he wanted to.

Ghostbur: but then he lost and everyone hates him.

Ranboo: I don't- i don't think everyone hates him. I don't really hate him. I mean, it's like hearing about a historical figure. I mean he did good things yeah, but he also did bad things so. I- i'm indifferent as i am with a lot of things.

Ghostbur: I'm sure- i'm sure that you'll figure it out

[...]

.

Ranboo: I haven't even heard of Wilbur honestly, i- i've barely heard of Wilbur, i mean, Tubbo really has not told me much about Wilbur other than i mean, he's the one who blew up Manburg the first time. 

But i like Ghostbur i mean, i like- i like Ghostbur i'd say a lot more, because Ghostbur seems nice, i don't think that anything is going wrong right now, i mean if we- if we kill dream then… then uh- ' cause we don't need a leader. 

I really don't know... I really don't know, I don't think we need a leader, because if- if someone rules everyone then- i mean if the leader becomes corrupted, when the leader becomes corrupted then we see what happens. We- we see what happens when someone who leads becomes corrupted, heck i'm a part of an anarchist organization So… I really just don't know what to do.

Because I mean, Tommy doesn't want Wilbur back.

I don't think anyone wants Wilbur back, so why is it even a question?

All I do know is that we definitely have to kill Dream, right? We definitely have to kill Dream. I mean, we gotta- we gotta kill Dream.

I mean, i don't even know if anyone wants him back, i mean, the only person that i would think would be Phil, right? The only person that I'd think would be Phil, so… but Phil's ok now, he's doing alright, shure he's sad now, but I think he'll be good, yeah I think we'll be able to kill Dream and everything will be good!

I mean, if we kill Dream, Wilbur isn't coming back, we won't have to worry about much- we'll still have to worry about things but not on the scale Dream was doing right? Right? [...]

[...] So if everyone's ok without him, I mean, everyone's ok already… right? Everyone's- Everyone's good, I mean, I like Ghostbur, I think that Ghostbur is awesome. I don't know-[...]

.

Ranboo: Oh my goodness. Yeah see, i like Ghostbur a lot more, i like Ghostbur a lot more.

.

Vod: Wilbur's Revival Dream SMP

TommyVods

Tommy: No you don't understand, It's not that he's dead it's that Wilbur's back.

Tubbo: What?

Ranboo: What do you mean Wilbur's back? No, you mean Like- Wilbur? Like-

Tommy: Let's go-

Ranboo: "Press button and blow up" Wilbur, that one?

.

Tommy: No, no ok, listen to me, Did you think I liked Wilbur? Is that what you think this is about Ranboo? Why are you being so unempathetic?

Ranboo: I don't know what you mean! Like-

Tommy: Wilbur is back, Ranboo! Ghostbur is dead!

Ranboo: Yeah-

Tommy: No, no there's only one way to know.

Ranboo: What do you mean? Like- like THE Wilbur? The one that- like your friend?

Tommy: We are not fucking friends, Ranboo.

Ranboo: Wilbur wasn't-? I mean, I knew he did some bad stuff but I thought he was at least kind of your friend. 

Tommy: No, Wilbur was nothing.

Ever since i died Ranboo, we- i spent so long with Wilbur-

Ranboo: Yeah?

Tommy: -and i thought he changed, every time i thought he changed, but Ranboo he never changes, Wilbur never changes… and now he's back.

.

Ranboo: May- Maybe- Maybe he's different you know? I mean, he's been spending a lot of time in the afterlife-

Tubbo: Yeah, he's been dead for a while,

Ranboo: -he probably might be different, you know?

Tommy: He's not different Ranboo, i've been there Ranboo, and he's so much fucking worse. When we go up to him, you two just stand back-[...]

.

[emmies-archives]

Heads and Tails

Genre: Fluff, Angst, College AU

Warnings: Aged up, smut, drinking, blowjobs, good old fashion drunk hookup, self degrading at one point, ahhh non descriptive smut....

Wordcount: 6.8k (my bad)

Summary: You slowly become best friends with Noya. One night you get drunk with him and Tanaka and it leads to drunk confessions. You two start dating afterward, you try to surprise him one day by at practice but his old feelings for Kiyoko bring out your insecurities when you see him talking to her. 

A/N: This took wayyy to long to write, and it’s a lot longer than I expected. First piece for Haikyuu and I was drinking wine while writing most of it so please forgive typos. The ending is ehh because I just wanted to get it finished. 

Inspired by a rp with @astrid-thirsts (....... Its not as much angst as I said)

You couldn’t remember the last time you were excited for a volleyball game. They weren’t something new you went to. You had always watched Karasuno’s boys team play, ever since you were little. Fond memories filled your thoughts whenever you thought about going to the matches. For a while though, there was something missing. The excited cheers from fans started to dwindle and you found less and less seats being filled. There were no longer group hugs when the team won. Replaced with hung heads and silent tears. But you kept going. Even as the boy’s losses stacked against them so high it cast a shadow big enough to drown them. Things started to change this year.

Rumors floated around the school pretty quickly. Apparently, there were knew recruits on the team and they had pretty good potential. It piqued your interest. If there was a chance that the team could start building back the foundation it once had, you wanted to be there to see it.

You decided to take the long way back to your dorm one day. It gave you a chance to walk by the gym where volleyball practice was held. You walked for a while, a tinge of excitement pooling in your stomach at the thought of maybe getting to see the team up close. For years you had watched them from high up in the bleachers. The only constant as the members came and went.

As the gym came into view, you slowed your pace. A part of you wanted to peek through the doors. With a sudden burst of courage, you went up to the doors. The few steps seemed like forever. Reaching a hand out to push one side open, your heart jumped when it slide open right when you touched it. The first thing you saw was a pair of bright brown eyes. The boy tilted his head a bit and you noticed a towel wrapped around his neck.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?”

That was one of the first times you had actually spoken to him, you weren’t even sure if he had known your name before. You weren’t a stranger to Nishinoya. He was in a few of your classes; you had just never really talked to him all that much. You didn’t know if it was the fact he was on the volleyball team, or that you had a huge crush on him but, it even thinking of talking to him made you nervous. I wasn’t like you didn’t want to talk to him, he was just overwhelming. Constantly full of energy, lighting up whatever room he walked into. The idea of just walking up to him and striking a conversation was intimidating. So, when one day you got paired together for a project you didn’t know if you were excited or scared.

It was easy to talk to him. A lot easier than you expected. Something about him always drew you in, even if he was going on and on about the volleyball team for the fifteenth time in the hour. The playful energy that exuded from him held a welcoming arm out to you. Like it was offering everything you’d ever wanted, even if he didn’t realize it. But you took it. Grabbed its hand and ran.

Its grasp eventually led to more nights spent with him, even after the work necessary for the project was finished. It sort of became the new norm for you. After his evening practice, you would either go to his dorm or he’d come to yours. The conversations came easier, shifting from class and volleyball to shared hobbies. You learned more about him than you ever thought you would. Every time you left his dorm, your head swarmed with the memories of the night. The entire walk home felt like you were floating, and you kind of felt ridiculous for it. The way your heartbeat sped up when he was close, or how your eyes lingered on him when he wasn’t looking shouldn’t happen. Especially because you weren’t sure if you’d ever get the courage to tell him your feelings. Little did you know, Nishinoya felt the same way.

He started to rush through the end of practice just so he could see you after. Just spending time with you was the best part of his day. He didn’t realize what his feelings were, just that he was happy when he was with you. It wasn’t until he brought you up to Tanaka at practice for the fifth day in a row did he slowly start to think different about you. Tanaka didn’t help either, teasing him about if that’s the reason he left practice early. If you knew about that, Nishinoya was sure you’d chew him out.

Your love for volleyball was only one of the things that drew him in. It was the way you always found the good in something, even if it felt like the world was ending at the time. One time he came texted you about a test in one of his classes, his grade ended up being a lot lower than expected and he was a little annoyed. You just offered to help him study for the next one, wanting to make him feel better. To him it felt like the entire weight was lifted off his shoulders just with that one response. There were other things too, of course. You were incredibly beautiful, catching his eye before you even became friends.

Months went by and the two of you fell in routine. He would meet you halfway between his dorm and yours before classes, walking you to yours which barely left him any time to make it to his. You told him you were fine when he mentioned it to you on accident one morning, but each day he stood under the same lamppost waiting for you. Slowly, without meaning to, you fell in love with him. But it didn’t feel like falling. It was more like stepping into a warm embrace.

 “Yuu?” Your voice was quiet as you called his name for the second time in the past few minutes. Slightly amused you nudged him with your foot under the table, trying to get his attention. “Nishinoya?!”

“Oh, sorry!” He set his phone on the table, a goofy grin on his face when he looked up at you. “Did you need something?”

“I was helping you with your Algebra homework. Don’t tell me you forgot.”

“You’re going to be pretty disappointed then, because I haven’t done a problem in at least a half hour.” You couldn’t even be mad at him; all you could do was shake your head. He promised he’d work on his homework for the next hour. He lasted maybe ten minutes before groaning and pushing the paper away from him. “This is too boring. It’s a Friday, we should go out and have some fun!”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Wanna get drunk?”

 Three hours later, after an embarrassing little bit of Nishinoya watching you get ready as he laid on your bed, you ended up in Tanaka’s dorm room. Drink in hand you sat in his desk chair as Nishinoya and him sit on the ground in front of you.

This wasn’t what you thought when he mentioned getting drunk, but it was fun, nonetheless. You preferred this. Nishinoya was a popular guy so you figured he’d bring you to one of the clubs near campus, but this felt different. Maybe even special. Just you two and his best friend. Something about it was heartwarming. Until Tanaka brought up their manager again. It had been so many times the night already that you were tired of hearing about it.

“I’m telling you, y/n. It is better when she ignores me!” Tanaka yelled emphasizing his words by throwing his arm out, causing his drink to slosh over the edge of the cup.

“Really? I would’ve thought that being ignored would hurt.” You say, trying not to glance at Nishinoya when you do. Your feelings completely opposite your words.

“No, no it doesn’t. I don’t know how to explain it. Noya! You try for me; I can’t think straight.”

“Ahh, I don’t know man.” You didn’t notice the slight discomfort lining Nishinoya’s words or the way he looked to you as he responded. Already on your fifth drink of the night, you started to feel your head swim past tipsy. You caught his glance smiling into your cup as you drank more of whatever concoction he had made you.

“How’s your drink, y/n?” Nishinoya asked standing to make himself another one.

“Really good actually!” Your voice was louder than you anticipated, making you cringe slightly. “How are you so good at making drinks?”

“I learned my secret from those old Italian grandmas on youtube. I just don’t measure anything, letting my heart decide what to put in it.” All you could do was stare at him as he demonstrated. Tossing random things into his cup, trying not to make a disgusted face at the amount of alcohol you watched him pour.

“Did you… put that much into all my other drinks?” His toothy grin was enough of an answer and you stared into your cup. You hadn’t even tasted the liquor.

 Several rounds and a few shots later, it was your turn again. You had brought up the idea to play truth or drink. It was a game you had always played with your girl friends back home, so you decided why not. The amount of alcohol in your system didn’t help either.

“So, y/n.” Tanaka started, you could already see the evil look in his eyes. “Out of everyone on the volleyball team, which one of use would you want to hook up with?”

The question should’ve startled you, it probably would’ve if you hadn’t had the boost of vodka running through your veins and the newfound courage that came with it. Your answer came with no hesitation, you even looked into his eyes as you said it.

“Noya.” Your eyes flicked from his wide eyes to the growing smile on his lips. Not at all aware to the blush that flooded his cheeks.

 “Oh, dayum. I thought for sure you’d drink to that one.” Tanaka said but you didn’t really pay attention to his words. Your eyes focused on Nishinoya, feeling like if you ripped them from him. You’d never be able to look him in the eyes again.

“You’re turn, y/n.” Nishinoya’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper. Not able to tear his eyes away from yours.

Caught up in the moment, you direct your question towards him. “Yu-“

Your words are cut off as Tanaka lets out a loud groan, drawing your attention to him.

“Grossss, you guys can take that shit elsewhere. I’m gonna text Kiyoko again.”

 That’s how you found yourself sitting on one of the campus’s benches, your side nearly pressed against Nishinoya.

“Y/n, you look so beautiful under the light from the lamppost.” In your drunken state, you found his normally constant flirting cute. Your cheeks burn lightly from the deep blush resting on them. The two of you sit in silence after that. Neither of your quite ready to go back to your dorms.

“You know, I never got to ask you my question.” You say as you lean your head against his shoulder.

“You’re right, I forgot.” His response was short, but you could hear the hopeful tone swimming in it. “You can ask me now if you still want to.”

“Yuu, will you kiss me?”

“I don’t think that would’ve worked as a question, y/n.” He answered.

“God, just shut up and kiss me.” You quipped back, moving to face him. He didn’t even respond. Cupping your cheek, you both leaned in, you were too impatient to wait for him. The kiss was soft and sweet, ending too soon. You wanted more.

 Ten minutes later after dragging him to your dorm you pushed the door open. Thankful you didn’t share it with anyone as you pulled him into the room. You gently pushed him to sit on the bed, sitting on his lap arms wrapped around his neck loosely.

“I wasn’t kidding. He spoke. “You really do look amazing tonight.”

You hummed in response, not trusting your voice. Staring into his warm brown eyes, the fairy lights that light up your room danced in the reflection of them.

“You’re so handsome, Yuu.” Your voice is quiet and uneven as you talk. “You always are, I know I’ve never told you that before.”

“You’re drunk, y/n.” His voice matched yours as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“It’s your fault, dummy.” You shook your head, laughing at the amount of alcohol he probably put into your drinks, not realizing how fast you would drink them. “I meant what I said you know.”

“Really? I thought that was just for the game, you wouldn’t prefer someone else?” You could see the hope swirling in his eyes.

“Absolutely not. I don’t like anyone else.” You answered while your hands gingerly played with the ends of his hair.

“You like me?” His eyes widened at your statement and you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“You didn’t realize?” You asked and he shook his head as his answer. “I thought I made it a little obvious, but yes I do.”

Your voice was nearly a whisper as you leaned in close to him. Breath ghosting over his lips, you could feel him shiver a bit and it put a smile on your face. He didn’t have to respond with words to make you know he felt the same way. Your lips connected again, this time different than before. Rough and passionate. Like he was pouring everything he was holding in into your lips. You did the same, every pent-up emotion you felt for him, every lingering gaze you spent trying to make yourself confess, every single thing.

The kiss became rougher, teeth clashing and noses bumping as you pulled closer to him. Unknowingly grinding your hips down into him at the way his tongue slipped into your mouth. A soft whimper slipping from your lips.

“Yuu..” You breathed out when he pulled away, panting himself.

“Fuck, y/n. Your lips are so soft.” He leaned in again, pulling you into another kiss. You could taste the lingering vodka on his tongue as it danced with yours. Both of you fighting for dominance. He groaned as you pushed your fingers into his hair, tugging gently at it. He jerked his hips up and you could feel him against your core. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it. You’re just….”

“No, it’s okay.” You said, smiling as you slipped off his lap. Hands sliding down his torso, stopping at his waistband. The tent in his pants already obvious. You looked back up to him, waiting for him to give you some sort of confirmation you could keep going.

He grabbed your hands gently, leaning in to press another short kiss against your lips. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to. Just, let me take care of you.” Confidence flooded your voice in your drunken stupor. He could only nod at your words and you moved your hands lower, palming his hardness through his pants. Enjoying the quiet groans that fall from his lips at the sudden friction. You tug on his waistband and he shifts his hips up, helping you pull his pants down. You move up pressing your lips against his again as you slip your hand into his boxers. Feeling him hiss lightly against your lips at your hand against him.

“Ah, shit-“ You could barely hear his groans as you focused wrapping your hand around his cock, loosely stroking it.

“You’re already so hard, Yuu. Did my answer affect you that much?” He bit his lip nodding again at your words as you worked your hand. A smile tugged at your lips.

You moved down further, placing soft kisses against his abs. Feeling him shudder as you trailed down, stopping at his boxers before pulling them down all the way. His member springing free, slapping against his stomach

“You’re so pretty.” You ran your tongue up the underside of his cock lightly, admiring the way it twitched lightly in your hold before swirling your tongue around the tip as you pumped the rest of his length. Hearing his quiet groans pushed you forward, and you looked up to him, meeting his gaze and you slowly brought more of him into your mouth. Watching as his head fell back through your blurry vision.

“I should be the one saying that, y/n.” He said, his voice unsteady.

You pulled back with a pop, smirking up at him. “Don’t hold back, let me hear you.”

You wait for him to respond before dipping your head back down, taking him into your mouth again. A loud moan fell from his lips as you did, and you had to press your hands into his thighs to keep him from bucking up into your mouth. Once he stilled himself, you started wrapping your fingers around what you couldn’t fit into your mouth. Swiping your tongue over the slit that leaked precum already.

You could feel his thighs twitching under you as you worked your mouth on him. Breathing through your nose and relaxing your throat you pushed your face down until your nose brush against his pelvis. The loud moan that ripped from his throat made you hum approvingly, and you moved your hand to play with his balls. When you pulled away just enough to breathe, he moved his hand to your jaw pulling you up to him.

“Want to cum with you.” Was the only thing he said before pushing up your shirt, helping you take it off. Biting his lip to concentrate on the clasp of your bra that for some reason he just couldn’t figure out. You grabbed his hands gently stopping him before unhooking it yourself throwing it across the room. His heated gaze fell to your chest as he wasted no time in touching you. Squeezing, sucking, nipping. Every time his tongue danced around your sensitive nipples he grew more confident at the soft breathy moans you let out.

He backed up onto the bed, pulling you with him before crawling over you catching your already swollen lips in another rough kiss. You couldn’t stop the whimper the fell from your lips when he ground down into your core. It put a cocky smile on his face, something you weren’t used too.

“Noya, please.”

“What do you want me to do, baby?” His voice was low, and his words were muffled as he kissed down your neck. It was becoming too much, you wanted him. Needed him.

“Fuck me! Pleas-“

You didn’t get to finish your sentence as he pushed your legs open. Swiping the tip up and down your folds a few times before slowly pushing in. Your mouth fell open at the sudden fullness. He didn’t stop until he was bottomed out inside you. You looked up at him once started moving his hips, trying to paint the look on his face into your memory. His eyes blown out in lust as he fucked into you, the way he gritted his teeth trying to quiet the loud moans. It was the last clear image before the night completely blurred.

 The next morning you tried recalling the events that occurred, and it only came in slivers. Like an old movie with holes burnt into the film. The pieces that you could interpret left you with memories of giving yourself to Nishinoya, and him to you. Maybe it was a good thing you couldn’t remember clearly. The way your head ached would’ve only been amplified by the weight of what you did last night. You tried not to think it was a mistake, but it was hard not to. Everyone has a drunken hook up once in a while. You’ve had your share, so why would this one be so different?

It was only when Nishinoya shifted beside you were you pulled from your intruding thoughts. You felt your body tense as he slid his arm over your side and bury his face into your shoulder. He mumbled something incoherent. There was a small voice in your head hoping he was still asleep. But it was nothing compared to the way you felt your heart speed up at the simple action. You closed your eyes telling yourself it was to stop your head from hurting, but you really just wanted to stay in this moment as long as you can. The soft, quiet calm before the shit storm you felt was coming. But, he proved you wrong.

Whispering your name softly as if not to wake you. You found yourself unable to answer him. Waiting to see what would happen, what your reaction to this should be. No matter how badly you wanted to be happy that this happened, you would take whatever came. You didn’t expect him to hum softly and feel his soft lips against your bare shoulder as he gently kissed it. Tangling his legs with yours, you felt him gently rubbing your arm. You couldn’t handle it anymore. His sweetness was too much, and you needed to look at him. Shifting in his hold you turned to face him. A small smile pulled at his lips when you did.

“Morning, y/n.” His voice was a bit raspy, and you found your heart speeding up again at the sight of his tussled hair. The memory of tangling your hands in it flashing across your mind and you couldn’t help the blush. “You okay?”

“Mhm. You’re just really hot.” The words spilled from your lips before you could stop them, and you groaned a little. “Fuck, ignore that. I’m still asleep.”

Nishinoya “When did we fall asleep?” Your voice was quiet, trying to ignore the way his eyes were lighting up at your touch.

laughed at your plea and shook his head, which made you reach up to push the hair that fell in his eyes.

“Honestly, I’m not sure. Was it we fucked for the sec-“

“Yuu!” Your hand covered his mouth, eyes wide at the way he could casually say it. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to talk about it. Just that you didn’t know where to even start. There were so many things you wanted to talk or ask him about now that you were sober. You just weren’t sure if you had the courage anymore. You dropped your hand and shifted your gaze from him, a little nervous.

“Something wrong? Oh no. You regret last night. I’m so sorry, I knew I should’ve waited to make a move when we were sober. I-“ His face pulled into a panicked stare and he started rambling before you cut him off again.

“No, Yuu. I don’t regret it at all. Not one bit.” You sighed looking back to him, trying to reassure his worry. “You were… really good. I just didn’t know how to talk about it.”

“Oh thank god. I was scared I fucked up.” He relaxed a bit, slipping his hand into yours. It warmed your heart how sweet he was being. “I don’t want to ruin this… whatever this is.”

“Do you remember what I said last night?” You asked meekly, hoping he did so you wouldn’t have to repeat it.

“Which part? You said a lot, most of it sounded like my name actually now that I think.” He laughed when you shoved his arm a little, glaring at him. “I know what you said. About liking me, and I feel the same way for you.”

“Then, what is this?” Your heart was pounding in your chest as you asked, and you hoped he couldn’t hear it. The next part you forced out, not wanting to hear the answer. Fearing it would be something that would hurt. “Is this just a one time thing?”

Nishinoya stared at your for a few seconds, completely silent. It felt like forever and the nervousness that pooled in your stomach started creeping up your body. The worst responses flashed through your head.

“No, I don’t want this to be a one time thing. Or anything casual either.” His voice was steady, and serious. You could tell he meant everything he said. “Do you want to go out with me?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Nishi. I want to go out with you.”

“Fuck yeah! Does this mean I can take you out on a date? I’ve been wanting to for a really long time just never thought I could.” He rambled a little and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“A date sounds perfect. If its anywhere other than our dorms, we spend too much time in them.”

“Yes!! I’ve been wanting to for so long, I just never thought you liked me back!” His arm slid around your side again and your felt the urge to bury your face into his chest. He squeezed you tighter when you did. “Can I tell Tanaka? I feel like we owe this to him!”

“Sure. But don’t mention what we did?”

“I cant promise you that.”

 You two spent most of the morning and afternoon laying in your bed. There was something about him that made you let your guard down. You could talk to him for hours about random stuff and never get bored. It was a lot nicer in his arms too. You always imagined the way it would feel to be wrapped in his arms. Even when you thought you’d never tell him how you felt. It was nice to imagine though, but it was nothing compared to now.

His usual rough wildness on the court was replaced with a softness you didn’t know his arms had. They were always covered in scratches and bruises from practice. You found yourself tracing the dark marks on his biceps, admiring the contrast against his skin. He had a story for each one. Telling it to you as your finger ran over it, and you could picture each one. You’ve seen him on the court before, he was a fury to reckon with but you didn’t realize how aware he was.

The lazy cuddling only ended when both of your stomachs growled for the third time in thirty minutes. He reached over to your nightstand for his phone, asking if you wanted him to order food in. You were thankful for that, the headache from the lingering hangover still pulsated at the back of your neck.

When the food came, you put on a movie and the two of you ate in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence. You knew there were things you could talk about if you really wanted to, but you found no need to. There was something about just sitting with Nishinoya that made a sort of warm feeling hold in your chest. It was relaxing, and almost familiar.

 The next two weeks flew by. Your old routine with Nishinoya quickly turning into a new one. Instead of him asking you to study as an excuse to see you, he was already at your dorm when you got back from your last class. Each time you entered your dorm and found him sitting on your bed waiting for you made your heart soar.

What you felt for him before anything happened only amplified now. Lingering gazes turned into lustful ones, soft brushes became loving embraces. It was amazing. Everything you had dreamed of and more. It wasn’t until you came by one of his practices early to surprise him did the doubt slip into your thoughts.

You pushed open the gym door entering quietly, not wanting to interrupt anything. Your eyes scanned the gym looking for him and once you did, your excitement dropped a little. Him and Tanaka were standing next to their manager, the one Tanaka always went on and on about. It looked completely innocent, they were just talking. But you didn’t miss the way Nishinoya laughed or the bright look on his face as she said something.

You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but you didn’t even have to. He looked so excited, the way his face was flushed as he swayed on his feet. It was a simple action, they were only talking so why did it have to feel like this?

He had told you about his crush on her before, but explained it was long gone. That it had been nothing but a simple unrequited crush. But it stung seeing him so happy talking to her. Confliction twisted in your stomach. You didn’t want to be the type of girlfriend to get jealous over other girls, but this somehow felt different.

You went up to the first person next to you and quietly asked them to give the bento box in your hands to Nishinoya. It was their captain. You were a little familiar with him from watching all of their games, you just never talked to him before.

“Don’t tell him I came in. Just if you could say I dropped it off?” Your voice was unsteady and you could feel your hands shaking a little.

“Sure thing. Are you, y/n?” You could only nod as your eyes flicked back to Nishinoya still standing by their manager. “So you’re Noya’s girlfriend! I was wondering when we were going to meet you. I was beginning to think you didn’t exist, but he talks about you so much.”

“Yeah, I am. I didn’t realize he talked about me that much. I’m surprised you’re not sick of it.” You laughed nervously a little, trying not to look at them.

“No, he means no harm. He obviously really cares about you, I’m glad he has someone like you. From what I’ve heard, you seem like an amazing person.”

That hurt. You don’t know why it did, but it pulled at your chest heavily. You tried so badly to fight against the way seeing him over there picked at your brain but it didn’t work. Tanaka’s signature laugh echoed in the gym and your eyes moved to them again. Their manager was gone now, but you saw the way Nishinoya looked after her.

You could feel tears start welling in your eyes and you quickly excused yourself. Moving back toward the doors hoping to whatever gods were out there that Nishinoya didn’t see you leave. But, he did. Just as you slipped out of the door he saw you. You caught his gaze when you looked back one last time and it almost felt like the wind was knocked out of your chest.

Fighting everything inside you screaming to turn around and go to him, you ran the other way. You didn’t know what to even say if you were to go up to him.

“Y/n! Wait up!” Nishinoya yelled behind you and you gritted your teeth. Of course, he’d follow you, that’s just who he was. You slowed your pace knowing he’d catch up any moment. Facing away from him you felt his arms slip around your waist as he hugged you from behind. “Hey, sweetheart. I wasn’t expecting you here.”

You couldn’t say anything. It was like your voice was stuck in your throat even though you desperately wanted to speak. Eyes fixed on something in the distance you tried to wipe the upset expression from your face. Wanting nothing more than to turn and bury your face into him, you felt the frustration building in you.

“Y/n? Are you okay?”

The concern in his voice hurt. More than anything else so far. You were being stupid, there was no reason to worry. You knew that so why did you feel so shitty? When you didn’t respond he moved around to face you. The panic was evident on his face when he saw how upset you were.

“Baby, what happened?” His voice was soft, welcoming. You flicked your gaze to his eyes and felt a pang of guilt in your when you saw the worry flooding them. You couldn’t help but look away again.

“Nothing. I just forgot something.” Your voice was quiet, much quieter than you thought it’d be. It wasn’t very convincing, and you knew it.

“You don’t have to lie to me. Did something happen today? Is that why you came to practice?” You had to clench your jaw at his caring words. His hands cupped your face gently and you felt your lip quiver at the touch. Without meaning to, you leaned into his touch. Closing your eyes which made a tear slip from your welling eyes. “Baby, talk to me.”

You shook your head trying to shake his worry. “It’s stupid.”

You knew that wouldn’t work, but you tried. The feeling in your chest, frustration over yourself and the lingering hurt from seeing him in there became too much and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. Pushing his hands from your face and burying yourself into his arms. The warmth of them didn’t do much to soothe you this time. It almost had the opposite effect. When he hugged you tightly a sob was ripped from your throat.

Crying was something you never wanted to do in front of him. You knew it would just make him worry, and yet here you were wrapped in his arms as your tears stained his shirt. Guilt tore at you again at that thought. He was supposed to be at practice. This was completely your fault. You shouldn’t have even come here to begin with.

Maybe this was meant to happen. The universes way of showing you that you weren’t meant to be together. You could go back to your old ways, watching silently from the stands while she was down there with him. That thought tore through you hard.

Kiyoko was mesmerizing, there was a softness in everything she did. She was so much better than you in every way. What were you even compared to her? You kept replaying the way he looked at her in your head. He looked so happy. Did he ever look that happy with you? You began questioning everything your thought you had known about your relationship.

“Y/n!” Nishinoya’s voice ripped through your intrusive thoughts and you couldn’t help but gasp. You hadn’t even noticed when you knelt on the ground, completely focused inside your own head.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Yuu. Go back to practice. I know I’m being annoying. I-I’ll go to my dorm, its okay.”

“What? No way, I’m not letting you leave.” He shook his head brows furrowing at your statements and apologies. “Let me help you…”

The way his eyes softened as you looked into them made a fresh wave of tears slip down your face. You found yourself spilling everything you were holding in with them. All your worries and fears, the reason you were crying. The way you felt you weren’t good enough for him.

“I saw you and your manager; I can’t help but think I’m not enough for you.” He didn’t say anything to interrupt your tear-filled rambling. “ You’re so amazing, and kind. You’re the best person I’ve ever met and I just…. Maybe you should be with Kiyoko. She’s so much better than me-“

“Stop.” He suddenly spoke out, “Stop it right now. You don’t get to say that about yourself.”

“But I-“

“No! I can’t believe you would even think like that.” His voice was raised a little causing you to snap your attention to his face. He looked so angry. The concern from before gone from his features. You couldn’t take your eyes off of his.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I just, I don’t think I make you as happy as you should be.”

“Stop apologizing, y/n. This is not your fault its mine.” That made you a little confused despite how upset you still were. This wasn’t his fault; he didn’t do anything.

“It’s not your faul-“

“It is though! I know I’m not that good at showing how I feel. That’s why I waited so long to do anything.” He shook his head as he talked, and you couldn’t pick apart the look in his eyes. “Should I have not asked you out? Would this have been better as a one-time thing?”

“What? No, Yuu. Don’t say that.” You felt your voice shake when you responded, it was so quiet you weren’t even sure if he heard you.

“I knew I’d hurt you. Do something to fuck this up. I couldn’t even keep this one perfect thing, could I? God I’m so stupid! This would’ve been so much easier if I wasn’t in love with you. Maybe we shouldn’t even have started dating, I’ve only been an ass to you.” His voice got louder as he berated himself. You knew he had a bit of a temper, but you never thought it would be toward himself.

“Yuu, stop.” He didn’t hear you as he continued beating himself up, “Yuu!”

You shoved his chest lightly to get his attention, panic coursing through your body. His eyes flashed to yours and the tears that spilled from them matched your stained cheeks.

“I’m sorry.. Fuck, I’m so sorry!” He scrambles toward you, diving into your embrace. You’ve never seen him angry like that and it scared you. He could tell, the look on your face when you pushed him made his heart drop. He pulled you to him again, this time he was crying. You felt the tears against your neck as he shoved his face into your shoulder. “Baby, I didn’t mean any of that. I promise. Please, please forget it. I’m not leaving you. Just don’t- don’t leave me.”

Hearing his desperate cries into you made your heart break, forgetting everything that happened before. You sat and held him like he did to you. Giving him a place to let all his fears out in the safety of your embrace.

“It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere.” You voice was basically a whisper as you ran your fingers down his hair, trying not to let the tears spill from your eyes again at they sadness in his voice and the way he clutched onto the back of your shirt.

“I’ve never loved someone before. I don’t know what I’m doing.” He spoke after a moment, he felt more relaxed in your arms and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Until you registered what he said for the second time.

“You love me?”

“Fuck. Did I say that?” He pulled away to look at you, eyes wide. All you could do was nod at his question, still processing it. “Shit, y/n. I, uh, ignore that.”

You shook your head rapidly, opening your mouth to say something. Anything. When nothing came out you leaned forward pressing your lips to his. His eyes flew open for a second but then he melted into your lips as his hands moved to bury themselves in your hair.

“I love you too.” You whispered into his lips, but he didn’t hear you. Too focused on your lips against his. You pulled back breaking the kiss to say it again, if you didn’t say it now you knew you’d regret it. He needed to hear how much he meant to you. “Yuu, I’m in love with you. I think I was before anything happened.”

“Really?”

“Let me finish!” You couldn’t help but laugh a little at his eager tone. “You’re so good to me, more than I think I deserve. Hearing you beat yourself up like that. I just…. Don’t ever, ever think I regret being with you for one second. The things you said…… Yuu, they’re not true. You need to know how much you deserve.”

“I’m sorry.” Was all he said. He knew he had a temper, and it usually was directed toward himself. Starting off as a simple thought and snowballing into full on degrading himself. You tilted his chin up making him look at you again, wanting to make him feel better. Pressing your lips to his again, this time less sweet. Deepening it by tugging on his shirt.

“If you don’t believe me… Let me show you just how much I love you, Nishi.” It took one look into your dark gaze for him to understand what you meant. His face flushed and you almost giggle at the sight. “I was heading back to my dorm, why don’t you come with me?”

“But, Daichi….” Nishinoya glanced back at the gym quickly before looking back to you.

“It’s okay, I can wait. Alone. In my dorm. Who knows what I’d do while you’re at practice…..”

“No fucking way, I’m coming with you” That was the first practice he missed on purpose.

[kaseysgtnonsense]

So. I mentioned having an idea for a g/t video game in this post and people seemed interested, so here it is!

It takes place in a setting where giants live in deep, underground cave systems, and their numbers are dwindling. The home you live in is running low on supplies, and in the end they decide that to lower the amount of resources consumed and improve their chances of survival, they’re going to kick someone out.

Unfortunately, that someone is you. You are cast out of the caves and into the surface world, on a continent ruled by several human countries on the brink of war. In their eyes, you are a monster, and you are severely limited. You need to hunt to survive, avoid injuries or else risk infection, and avoid areas where giant-slayers might see you as a threat and try to sneak-attack you while you’re resting.

Every faction is wary of you, and unless you’re particularly good at convincing others you don’t mean any harm, you won’t be able to ask for help early on. Doing things like rescuing random travelers, ending conflicts non-violently (like picking up someone who’s being chased by bandits and then bringing them to safety and setting them down), and leaving gifts all will help you start to establish yourself as a helpful person and not a monster.

Rescuing someone and making it clear you don’t mean any harm could lead to them wanting to travel with you, meaning they’d be able to talk to other humans and convince them to trade with you, cooperate with you, etc.! Plus, you’d get dialogue with them from time to time, letting you say how you feel about having been kicked out, which faction you want to support, how you feel about other giants, how you feel about being a giant in a world like this, etc. (basically it’s where the majority of the g/t interaction happens)

I figured I’d put all the more boring + ramble-y gameplay ideas under a cut, just so I’m not tossing a massive wall of text on people’s dashboards:

Additionally, acting recklessly would have some rough consequences. Like, say you decide to go to the evil empire, pledge allegiance to them in exchange for armor, then betray them and escape.

At first, you might feel heroic and proud, and it’s definitely good that you stole from the bad guys, but most people are just going to end up wary of you. Word would get around fast that the mysterious giant showed up, blatantly lied to the evil empire, and then betrayed them. Even people who vehemently hate the evil empire are going to be worried you’re lying to them when you show up.

For visuals I kinda pictured it being like those old RPGs where your character looks big on the overworld map, but then that’s actually just how tall you are. I imagined the player character being like, 50-70 feet tall? (15-21 meters)

Combat would be kind of similar to a roguelike: based around avoiding long-lasting injuries, buying (or stealing) medicine and bandages to prevent infections, avoiding hidden archers who’ll aim for your eyes, dealing with enemies who set traps (like sharpened stakes used as big caltrops, leading to you being slowed and having a risk of infection), and dealing with enemies who lob fireballs and other spells at you, damaging your armor and yourself. I can’t imagine a way to make it especially fun and action-y, so I’m just imagining it like Cataclysm:DDA, where it’s kinda turn-based but you’re able to position yourself around the enemy and run away, and different weapons give you access to different attacks. Like, a tree might give you a sweeping attack to hit multiple spaces at once.

I’d wanna add a talk option for combat kinda like in Shin Megami Tensei or Undertale, so you could try to end fights without anyone getting hurt by being like “wait, wait, I don’t mean any harm!!” or “if you don’t back off, I’m going to devour you all alive.” depending on the type of character you wanna roleplay. Maybe the clothes you make/buy and wear could factor into whether diplomacy or intimidation is more effective: a dorky cat-like hat is gonna make you look a lot less threatening, but a helmet that covers your face is gonna make you look way more menacing.

The game would end once you’ve finished a faction’s questline. The ending narration would be affected by what faction you’re allied with, whether or not you have access to food and medicine, and what you picked in dialogue regarding how you feel about the giants who kicked you out. (Aaaand I haven’t written up any factions yet. Whoops.)

In the ending, you might decide you prefer the company of humans rather than giants and live peacefully with them, or maybe you’ll go back home to get revenge, or maybe you’ll return home with an armful of food and supplies and hope to create a new era of peace between humans and giants with the support of your chosen faction. Maybe you just decided you preferred being the mysterious giant who lives in the mountains.

I’d wanna work on fleshing out the RPG mechanics in a way that lets you RP a character, kinda like how New Vegas does: letting you pick special dialogue if certain stats and skills are high or low enough. Maybe you wanna put more points into strength and endurance and play a super tough scary figure, or maybe you wanna put more points into charisma and perception and be a friendly and caring person. Maybe you know how to farm or hunt or cook, maybe you know how to build or invent...

And sorry for making this so long, but I’d wanna add flaws you can pick, too. Maybe you need glasses but giants don’t have them, so your character starts with terrible perception (meaning they won’t notice traps or hidden enemies) until the human faction they join helps make glasses for them. It’s cute to think of things leading to friendly interactions like that...

I’d wanna add multiple solutions to any one problem, too. Like, early on you could just talk to the guards outside a major faction’s location and if you made a character with enough points in persuasion, you could convince them to let you trade with them or join them. But if you aren’t persuasive enough, you could ask someone you rescued to vouch for you.

It’s WAY too ambitious for me to make and I’m already busy so I’ve got no intention of making it anytime soon, but someday in the future it would be fun to use this idea for something...

[mxzercise]

it’s no shock to anyone that i haven’t been around. so let’s talk about that.

it isn’t that I don’t want to write. not that at all. Not even that I’m lacking a muse, really. I don’t really have a specific reason either. Maybe it’s just.... tumblr roleplaying has lost its spark for me? maybe I need a long break, no idea.

I miss rp, but at the same time, I dread coming back here every time I log in because I know I won’t write something. I’ll stare at my screen, maybe force a single reply out, then go play a game instead. Maybe chatroom // instant messaging RP’s are more my style, and always have been.

i miss writing. i miss wanting to write. i miss the excitement i had for my muses. 

i don’t know what to do.

maybe this is me asking for help or maybe i’m just. putting it out there that i’m gonna be pretty much on hiatus until i get this figured out. but uh. yeah.

anyways. if you want my discord, and wanna try writing there, lemme know i guess. i will give it a shot.

[all-the-dabihawks]

Quills - Chapter 3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Pairing: Dabihawks

Format: RP

Length: Way too long (multiple chaps 100k+)

Warnings: enemies to lovers, eventual smut, eventual happy ending, multichap, hawks acting like a bird, dabi being a shit, hawks being a shit, hawks has a spring season, smut 18+ minors dni, eventual spoilers, hurt/comfort, the commission is evil

Summary: Hawks’ new mission is to join the LOV. Dabi’s not an idiot. Until he is.

🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶

Hawks stares down at the book curiously. It's gonna be boring and dry and full of crap. And Dabi's made it very clear that he'd better read every word. There go his precious days off.

"Yeah sure. Whatever you say." He'll do it. Because he has to. Maybe he can pull some files from the commission on the group. At least then he can play it on audio.

He leans back against the desk as Dabi flops down, opening the book and paging through it. Dry dry dry. There aren't even any pictures.

Hawks looks up at the villain, affecting a bored look. "You could've just brought this outside." he points out. Does Dabi expect him to stay? Downstairs? Probably not, it sounded like all bluster before. "Or was all this just to get me into your room?" He cocks a brow at the arsonist.

Dabi drops his hand, resting it on his chest, and turns his head to fix Hawks with a bored gaze. “You wish.” He snakes his other arm under his head.

“I’m not a fuckin’ delivery boy. Besides, there’s no point in pretending that we trust each other in the slightest. Think of me bringing you here as an olive branch. Reachin’ across the table, extending some semblance of trust out there. We’re gonna be working together pretty closely from here on out, and I’d rather not have a sword at my throat and a flame in my hand.”

He turns his head to stare up at the ceiling again. “And, I figured if you saw everyone as they are now, you’d get a chance to see that they’re all just people who are down on their luck. Call them fanatics, or whatever you want, but they’re just scrambling for something to believe in and a way out of their own suffering. I don’t know what you want from all this, and I don’t give a shit. But I know you don’t have passion for this project. You’re so detached from what life is like for us, I doubt you even viewed us as people before you walked in here.”

-

That's not entirely true. Hawks looks away. He can relate to these people in a strange way. Villains. They're villains. They're not civilians, he needs to stop thinking of them like that. Villains have never been an abstract to Hawks. They've always been painfully real.

He shrugs, feigning nonchalance. Dabi doesn't need to know any of that. No one knows any of that, other than the commission. But they'd still plucked him off the street, made him a hero.

"You make a lot of assumptions for someone who doesn't know a thing about me." He says it with a smirk, but somehow it feels like it falls flat in the almost empty room. No one is born a hero.

He toes at some invisible dirt on the floor. "I really doubt there's any semblance of trust here." Hawks returns. "And seeing your little base isn't gonna change that."

-

“I make a lot of assumptions because I know what heroes are like.” He sits up again, shooting Hawks a piercing look, “How do you think I got these?” He runs a thumb over the seams on his face, where the scarred skin was sewn to healthy skin and held together with staples. “I don’t need to know anything about you. Heroes are all the fuckin’ same. Selfish. Conceited. At least a monster like me is open about the fact I don’t give a shit about anyone but myself. You would never admit that, though. You wanna sit on your high horse and pretend like you’re a good person. But we both know the truth. You’ve done horrible things before, haven’t you? Bet you have a lot of skeletons in your closet. Have you killed anyone? Hurt anyone? Justified it as necessary? Had it all covered up for you so the public can continue to sing their praises and adore you?”

He doesn’t wait for an answer to his rhetorical question before scoffing and lying back down. “That’s enough for me to draw all kinds of assumptions. And no, I don’t trust you. But at least I’m making an effort. More than you can say. What’ve you given me to work with besides dodgy answers and that charming mask you wear for the public?”

-

What the hell planet is he living on? Hawks knows for a fact that heroes work hard. Long patrols, always in the public eye. Always on the hook for damage and injuries and liabilities. And it's not like he models because he has so much free time. It's a part of the job. Being visible. Being a rolemodel. Being what Endeavor was to him as a child. Being a reason for people not to end up like the would be villains downstairs. Being a hero is so much more than just nabbing the bad guy. The role is important. He wouldn't work himself into the ground if he didn't believe that.

But Dabi doesn't know crap. What did he call them? Fanatics. That's all he is. Killing indiscriminately to fuel his ego.

"What do you want?" he queries before he can stop himself. He's authorized to prove himself. Hasn't he done that already? "Almost getting killed for your little show wasn't proof? I'm here aren't I. Alone with a wanted criminal."

-

“You know damn well why that little show was hardly proof. You’re here, sure, but I can’t figure out why, and as far as I’m concerned, you’re here to get Intel and sabotage us. So no, you haven’t given me shit to work with.”

He’s watching him from the corner of his eye, intent on picking up any micro movement, and slight change in expression that might give him away. Nothing. He expected no less. Hawks is a professional, after all.

“I want you to tell me why you’re here. Or, if you don’t want to do that, maybe I’ll believe your dedication if you let me burn proof into your skin. Maybe right on your shoulder where no one will ever see it. Just like a tattoo. Won’t even hurt, my flames are so hot, they’ll burn right through your nerves in a second. Then I could tell the others that you’re one of us for real. What do you say?” Dabi lifts his hand, a small flame igniting from the tip of his index finger like a lighter. He’s not being serious, not in the slightest, but the stone-still expression gives little indication that he’s joking.

-

Seriously? He's wondered if they do some kind of tattoos or something but burning the recruits?

He eyes Dabi suspiciously, deciding a half truth is better than getting burned. And better than the bull crap story the commission told him to use.

"For someone so against heroes you sure don't know a lot about us." Hawks scoffs with a smirk. His eyes are fixed on that flame. It's so shiny he's finding it distracting. "What if I told you something needs to change? That they can't keep working us into the ground then patching us back up just to send us out again?" It's sort of true. "If they didn't have the healing quirks they use I wouldn't be my pretty self anymore." That much is true. He's been injured countless times. Not just in skirmishes but in their brutal training too. Not that he minds though. They did it for his own good, training him to become the hero he is today. They're the only reason he reached his dream. "I'm sick of being controlled and ordered around. I want a world where I can be free. I don't eant to be used anymore." That feels a little too close to the bone. He's the commission's tool and he knows it. But he's doing good right? Saving people? So that makes it alright. When he'd seen this mission he'd baulked at it. Authorized for violence? To sleep with the enemy? To mutilate his body and others to prove his loyalty? His handlers keep telling him the end justifies the means but it doesn't feel that way to Hawks. He wants to be a hero, not someone authorized to be a villain. This wasn't what he'd dreamed of as a child.

-

Dabi was damn good at reading people. The flame continued to dance and flicker on the tip of his finger as he listened and hung onto every word.

To his surprise… Hawks was telling the truth. At least, Dabi believed he was. He raised an eyebrow, trying to make sense of it.

It was a valid reason. And apparently an honest one, too. It wasn’t enough to gain his trust, not even close. But it was something.

“Well, we’re nothing if not free here.“ He watched his own little flame, lost in thought for a moment before grounding himself back to reality. “You gave an inch, I’ll give an inch. Cmere, and I’ll show you something.” He wasn’t sure why he was offering the hero anything. He didn’t owe him jack shit. Dabi was in charge here. But… There was something in his words that felt raw, pained.

No, he didn’t trust Hawks. But what hero society put him through? That was evidently real. Maybe with a little bit of coercion, some suggestions here and there, Hawks could join their cause. And for that to happen… He would have to gain his trust.

-

He blinks when the flame goes out, snapping out of his little shiny trance. Geeze, he's usually better at ignoring his instincts. It must be the stress of the situation. His handler would have noticed, luckily Dabi doesn't.

He crosses over to the bed when Dabi beckons him, relieved that he seems to have passed whatever test the villain was throwing at him. That or he's just getting Hawks in nice and close so he doesn't miss.

"Better not be what I think it is." he quips cockily to cover up the nerves playing in his chest.

-

“No, I’m not whipping my dick out.” Dabi says flatly, sitting up again. His ignites the tip of his finger again, turning it so Hawks can see. The flame glows brighter and brighter until it’s nearly white.

And there’s a sizzle as it begins to burn Dabi’s finger. He puts it out immediately, shaking the pain out of his hand. The smell of burning flesh is wafted into the air at the motion.

Showing was much easier than verbally confessing that his own quirk burns him. What was he supposed to say? ‘My shitty, weak body can’t handle my own quirk’?

He had mom to thank for the body suited for an ice quirk, and dear old dad to thank for the ill fitted fire quirk.

It was a fair bit of intel to share, something personal that Hawks wouldn’t be able to do anything with anyway. The burns never slowed Dabi down in a fight before. His goal was always more important than his self preservation. Either that, or he was just fuckin’ crazy. Probably both.

“And that’s all you get for your little sob story.”

-

The taller man's bluntness never fails to amuse Hawks. He's used to dancing around things with innuendo but Dabi calls him out every time. If he wasn't nervous it'd be hilarious.

The spark of the flame has Hawks riveted when it flares to life again, that is until the smell of burning flesh hits him like a truck. His cocky look is gone in a second, bending into a frown.

"What the hell Dabi? You don't need to burn yourself to prove a point." That's what just happened right? His own flame burned him. He's heard of quirk mismatches before but this is fundamental. Imagine if Endeavor's flames burned him.

He tchs at the villain. "You could have just told me." He looks up at the villain, searching azure eyes. "If it hurts you why do you do it?" The scars suddenly make sense. A sickening kind of sense. He wasn't kidding about the injuries he's sustained training as a hero, he'd fallen many time when his wings were still small. Broken bones. Cut himself learning to control feathers. But those things were because he wasn't good enough, because he needed to try harder, not because his quirk had turned against him.

-

“Would you have believed me if I said it? I’m a man of action, not words. I gave you proof.” His eyes lock with Hawks’, burning turquoise meeting molten gold. He doesn’t back down. He’s not sure what Hawks is hoping to find in his eyes, but he sure as hell won’t offer it easily.

“Because I gotta. If I can’t use my quirk, I’m useless. And I’d rather die than be that. Not planning on a long, happy life anyway. Not for someone like me. Once I get what I want, I don’t give a shit what happens to me.” It’s that ambition that drives everything in him. Eyes on the finish line. Everything else is background noise, unimportant.

“What about you? If being a hero hurts you, why do you do it?” He turns the tables suddenly, repeating the hero’s words back to him. “You don’t have to be used. You could walk away. Do whatever you want. Why bother changing it when you can just leave it behind?”

-

He has this weird impulse to reach for the villain's hand and blow on the burn. He vaguely remembers seeing that somewhere. Maybe in a movie or something. He hates seeing people in pain.

"I'd have believed you." Hawks counters. "Why would you lie about something like that?" Call him naive but there's no gain for Dabi in this, revealing a weakness.

If I can't use my quirk, I'm useless.

Shit. That- it sounds like Dabi is giving voice to a thought he's had too many times himself. He should argue with the villain, remind him that people can get regular jobs, can work in support services. But nothing comes out. Not in the face of his own doubt.

He shrugs when the villain asks him why he doesn't just leave it behind. Dabi wouldn't understand. No one does. All they see is the number two hero, adored by the public, posing on billboards, laughing his way through interviews on the news. "Because the world needs heroes still." He shrugs again. "And I've got nothing else." Shit that sounds too vulnerable. He takes a step back from Dabi, his hand going to the back of his head as he laughs, carefree like there's a camera in his face.

-

Dabi watches him curiously as he backs up. He’s unreadable, for the most part, and the villain hates that he doesn’t have the faintest idea what Hawks could be thinking about.

His answer pulls a smirk from Dabi, and he looks up at the hero through lazy, half-lidded eyes. “You’re a little naive, aren’t you? Cute.” It’s meant to come out as a condescending insult, but Dabi is startled to hear that it lacks the usual harshness it usually has when he’s putting someone down. In an attempt to save it, he adds, “Careful you don’t get eaten up by the wolves. ‘The world needs heroes still’. Tch. That shit’s the hopeful, optimistic outlook that people take advantage of.”

Dabi bounces his knee, unsure of what to say. Sickening naivety aside… Hawks seemed oddly serious for a moment there.

Maybe the two of them weren’t so different.

“Damn, your laugh is annoying. Why are you here still? That book’s not gonna read itself.” The smirk widens into a shit-eating grin. He knows that read will be dull as fuck, and he’s not at all jealous that Hawks is the one who’s gotta memorize it and spread the word.

-

Cute? Hawks blinks at that, his cocky smirk faltering. What the hell? Why the hell is a villain calling him cute? His fourteen year old fangirls call him cute. Not grown ass men.

He chuckles. "Told you my charm works every time. Don't go falling for me, hotstuff." He shrugs though when the arsonist continues, tucking his free hand in his pocket so he can't fidget. Another bad habit.

Seems like it's a habit Dabi has too though, Hawks' gaze flicks down to catch his leg bouncing. His smirk returns full blast. Oh. He's embarassed is he? The hero is not at all surprised when the next thing out of Dabi's mouth is to tell him to leave. Ah but he wants to be a shit and push his luck~

"Aww~" He takes a step closer to the bed. "Thought maybe you'd read it to me. Y'know, since I'm just so cute and all." He flashes Dabi his trademark grin, if a little toothier than usual. He waves the book at the villain, returning his earlier favor of disrespecting personal space.

-

Dabi cannot believe the fucking audacity of this asshole in front of him. He didn’t— He didn’t mean it like that. But trying to clarify that would only give Hawks the satisfaction of seeing him flustered, stumbling over his own words, and awkwardly backtracking. Like that would ever happen. It was bad enough that he could feel heat rush to his face, cheeks burning with embarrassment. Hopefully, his scars were enough to make it unnoticeable.

He narrows his eyes, increasingly irritated at the book being waved in his face. He couldn’t let Hawks walk out of here thinking he had won whatever game they were playing. And he had a reputation to maintain.

Charming and flirting weren’t his strong suit, but making others uncomfortable was.

Dabi snatched Hawks’ wrist, yanking him forward so he was forced to lean down, before growling into his ear. “Only if you sit on my lap, pretty bird. Careful who you antagonize.”

-

Oh oh. He wants to play this game does he?

When crispy puts his hands on him, suddenly it's not just banter anymore. It's a fucking challenge. One he isn't letting Dabi win.

"Woah there hotstuff~" Hawks coos. "Who said I'd be the one in your lap?" Avian eyes sparkle with challenge, golden dancing. Nice of the other to assume he'd be bottoming.

He leans forward in kind, his mouth almost brushing Dabi's ear. "'sides, gonna be pretty hard for you to concentrate on reading with me so close, don't ya think?" He huffs a breath against the villain's ear for good measure, mirth bubbling in his chest.

-

Heat radiates off of Dabi in waves and a shiver runs up his spine. He’s got some feelings to work through, ones he wasn’t prepared to at this very moment. His face is flushed and hot at the uncomfortable mixture of emotions swirling in his chest. Embarrassment, anxiety, and… Shit. Okay, maybe he’s a little turned on.

But he would rather die than let Hawks know that his heart is racing, that he’s not used to anyone talking to him like this; His ugly mug isn’t exactly everyone’s cup of tea, and his past experiences were all action, no unbearable flirting or teasing.

He knows the hero is just fucking with him, that’s obvious, but he can’t stop the nervousness from clawing at him.

“I would fucking wreck you.”God, he hopes the falter in his voice isn’t that obvious.

A nervous hand tangles itself into Hawks’ hair and yanks his head backwards. His own lack of experience is pissing him off, and he takes it out on Hawks, biting down on his now-exposed neck, hard. It’s not sexy, there’s no sucking to leave a pretty purple bruise. Just a childish way to inflict pain on his antagonizer. “Get the fuck out of my room.”

-

That's a nice reaction. The villain's shiver is followed by a wave of heat and Hawks knows he's won this little game. That is until Dabi speaks.

I would fucking wreck you.

Hawks has to suppress a hard shudder of his own at the tone of Dabi's voice. A threat and a promise and holy fuck he kind of wants to let the villain do it. Where did that come from? Despite his poker face, the hero's wings betray him, arching up over his back to fill the room, Dabi's heat radiating against the flammable feathers.

Before he can get out a reply, and he's not even sure he's capable of one, his head is yanked back and teeth sink into Hawks' neck, canines going deep in a different kind of burn. And fuck him, it feels good. It really shouldn't, it's pure pain, but it does. A little ngh escapes him audibly into the room.

-

Dabi is sure that he got his point across, and he pauses, expectant that Hawks will wriggle away from his grip and run away, but…

But he doesn’t.

The sound that comes out of Hawks is delicious, and it goes right to his cock.

“Oh.” The realization dawns on him when he pulls back to look at Hawks’ face. “You liked that, hmm? A little fuckin’ masochist.”

A low growl rumbles in his chest at the thought, and he goes back in for another bite.

Fuck he wants him. Why does he want him so badly? This hero has been nothing but a headache since the first time they spoke.

He untangles his hand from blond hair, soothing the second bite he left with peppered kisses, and runs his hands downward, mindlessly finding Hawks’ hips and tugging him forward. It gives Hawks the chance to straighten up and either slide into his lap or back up and leave the room.

Dabi’s not sure which he’s more hopeful for.

“Last chance to walk out of here before you really piss me off.”

-

A masochist? He knows what it is, but he has no idea if he is one. His 'experiences' have been few and far between, dictated by the HPSC in the form of women with NDAs presented for his choosing. They've never felt like this before. And after a couple of disatisfying encounters he'd stopped having them back to his penthouse. The commission hadn't offered him men even though they knew. Too much risk to his image.

Hawks is way too slow to offer any kind of biting comment back because by the time he remembers his own name teeth are back at his throat again. The edges of Dabi's canines scrape directly over his nerves, a shiver going through his feathers even though he manages to suppress the one that threatens to move through his frame. He lets out a little involuntary sound, a hand landing on the villain's thigh for balance. He fights to gather up his wits, taken completely by surprise by the arsonist's actions.

The blond staggers back a step only to be pulled forward by the hips. "I don't think you getting pissed off is what's happening here." he manages to get out through clenched teeth as he rights himself with hands on the villain's shoulders. The book falls forgotten on Dabi's thin mattress. He has a choice to make, and fast. He's authorized for this but he'd never intended to follow through with it. One of those lines he'd drawn for himself in the sand. But he'd never expected his contact to be so fucking- provocative. So shoot him if maybe he's sporting a semi and he can already picture himself sliding into Dabi's lap. Why's he giving Hawks an out though? Offering to let him walk? What does that mean? He's a villain for god's sake, shouldn't he just be taking what he wants? And fuck does Hawks want him to. It's just a little too much time for the wing hero to think, to logic himself out of a very impulsive, very speedy decision. He reaches for Dabi's chin, smirk already in place. It's not his fault if his tone is a little husky. "Already told you Dabs, you gotta buy me dinner first." He releases the villain and hops back a step with a beat of his wings. "M'not that easy."

With that he's making a swift exit, not waiting for Dabi's reply. Thank god for baggy flight pants cause the second he dips down the stairs there are dozens of eyes on him again. He doesn't bother walking, making a beeline for the door and cold night air - anything to cool his clouded head.

-

Dabi is almost expecting something to come from this. He was so close to just wrestling Hawks onto the bed and relentlessly fucking him.

But he knew what being taken advantage of felt like. And he wouldn’t put someone else through that. Even if said person was an annoying chicken.

He silently cursed himself for giving Hawks a chance to leave at all when the hero leaned in and teased him before making his speedy escape and leaving Dabi frustrated with a raging hard-on.

Asshole.

Dabi snorted a laugh, shaking his head in utter disbelief. Fuck, he’d make Hawks pay for that eventually.

For now, he had to begrudgingly accept that he had been outplayed. All things considered, it could’ve gone worse.

In minutes, Dabi is back on his bed, eyes closed and hand in his pants. Yeah, definitely could’ve gone worse.

Chapter 4

[aching-tummies]

I'm not as good with words/scenario/description as your first RP-esque submission...but here goes. I want to finger your navel during that 24+hours of no food followed by feeding. Hungry, stuffed--don't care, just wanna force my finger(s) into your navel and enjoy the moans and groans both from your tum tum from you.

No worries! You don't have to be good at descriptive writing or anything to message me. Coherent/understandable English is preferred though.

Before responding to this in an RP-way I wanna say that I was actually doing what you described while writing the first RP-response. I was actually hungry when I wrote the first one and I actually pressed my thumb deep into my navel and felt the bumps of my intestines and whatnot within. I felt them vibrating with the rumbles. It was great ^^

I groan as I’m torn from the peaceful embrace of sleep by some sharp, rumbling ache. The first thing that registers is the weird texture on my teeth. I’m biting my pillow…but that only happens when I’m—a deep grumble cuts off that thought and I release the fabric from between my teeth.

“Ugh…just what do you think you’re doing?” My tone is sharp and it cuts through the silence of our bedroom like a knife. I’m not pleased at being woken up by induced hunger pangs. That’s what you’ve done…like how hospitals sometimes induce labor—you’ve induced the hollow cramps and snarling rumbles from my bowels.

Your hand lingers on my stomach, your fingers worming their way into my navel. Two of your fingers manage to wedge themselves in there and begin to pull apart, stretching the tight ring of flesh and triggering another painful rumble from my guts. I slap at your hands but that only succeeds in pushing your fingers deeper and I gasp as your thumb jabs into a sensitive area. It’s gotta be some nerve or a very sensitive part of my intestines based on the intense sensation. It’s sort of like the feeling of hitting your funny bone…there’s that cramping, almost unbearable sensation like something very raw got scraped. I feel the pain of the jab reverberating throughout my entire gut, the epicenter feeling like a throbbing wound. The ‘reverb’ triggers a cacophony of growls throughout my digestive tract. A deep, hollow, guttural snarl is squeezed from the area I am sure contains my actual stomach organ. My body attempts to curl in on itself again but the action crushes your hand deeper into my poor belly. Your thumb is pressed deep into my navel—so deep that you can feel my organs pulsating beneath your thumb. You wiggle your thumb around as much as you can, finding that it sort of ‘pops’ between either side of a rounded nub you can feel. Again, that’s either got to be some sort of nerve or a sensitive part of my intestines because the pressure of your thumb bumping against it and pressing hard into it sends my whole system cramping and twitching.

“Oww…ouch! Babe—stop it!” I slap at your hands again, pushing at them, trying to pry them away from my sensitive stomach and very tender navel. We had just done some navel stuff before retiring to bed and it’s still sore from our earlier bout of fun. Sharp objects were used, among other things, and the puckered skin at the base of my navel is still very raw from our earlier activities.

Your hands refuse to budge. You’ve managed to worm two fingers into my navel again. You feel around inside until you manage to pinch something between your fingers. I feel something akin to a bolt of lightening lancing through my stomach—starting at my navel and traveling lower. As the sensations die down I’m left with a less than pleasant pulling sensation in my navel. It feels like my intestines are being tugged on. It’s not a nice feeling and it causes me to grit my teeth and groan again.

“Ah…ow…ouch…ugh…b-babe…t-that really hurts. S…stop p-ul—aaah—lling…please? Ergh…ow…ouch!”

“I’m not pulling, love,” You rasp into my ear. The dull pain in my guts intensifies, causing me to cry out and tears to prickle my eyes. “I’m pinching.”

My empty tummy snarls and growls. It sounds like angry dogs snapping at an intruder—in this case, your probing fingers.

We didn’t just do navel stuff earlier. We decided to indulge in some hunger-kink tonight. A series of mishaps at work caused me to be called in early (skipped breakfast), have nobody to cover my lunch break (skipped lunch), and after I whined to you about how my day was craptacular and how hungry I was you had taken charge of the rest of the night. You picked me up from work, going out of your way to ensure that I would not stop somewhere to fill my ravenous stomach. You brought me straight home where you spent almost two hours experimenting with my navel, poking and prodding at it with different utensils. Surprisingly, we found that sharp, probing objects (like straightened out paper clips) were the most effective in drawing growls and grumbles from my stomach. You had such high hopes for the wax-play…but no dice. My best guess is that the heat quelled some of the clenching and tensing enough to dampen the growling. You allowed me to fill up on liquids…mostly water and tea. You poked and prodded and sloshed my neglected tummy and did a bunch of stuff that left my navel sore and aching for a long while. At some point, we found ourselves in bed and I drifted off while there was still enough liquid in my belly to trick my body into thinking it wasn’t ravenous.

“Ugh…whatever you’re doing, it’s annoying. Stop it.” None of my protests mean anything right now. We have agreed-upon safe-words and I haven’t used any of them. To be fair, my protests have a kernel of truth to them. My navel’s been used and abused all night and is very sore right now. If I were awake enough to use one of our safe-words I’d probably do so.

“Your tummy was loud. That was annoying. It woke me up.”

“And whose fault is that?” I snap. I can feel you grinning as you spoon me.

“Sienna, was it? The one that skipped out on their shift today. Caused you to miss two meals, didn’t she? I only caused you to miss one.” Your fingers continue to probe at my navel, stirring up my guts and awakening the hunger pangs that could have left me to slumber peacefully for another couple of hours.

A deep, segmented rumble drowns out my voice as I cry out sharply from the cramp that it brings. Just as well, I have no response to your terrible logic.

I roll onto my front and grit my teeth. You swapped fingers just as I rolled so now my tummy is basically impaled on your middle finger. You can feel my guts around your finger like fleshy cushioning while I feel a very solid and very painful intrusion jabbing into my intestines and causing the area to give a few aborted cramps—like some dying creature twitching out the last of its life.

I try to crawl away, pinning your arm beneath me as I hope to move away from it and leave it behind. Just as I get to the last knuckle, you crook your finger and basically hook it into my navel. I let out another exclamation of pain as I feel like a fish caught on a hook. You drag be back along the covers until I’m face-down, my belly in your lap. You stroke my back as my stomach rumbles deeply, vibrating against your thighs.

“Aww…is my little kitten hungry?”

I hiss at you and bite at your hand as it nears my head, settling on my hair and smoothing it down. You stroke at my back and sides and card your fingers through my hair with your other hand. I slowly untense and relax, reaching over to snag my pillow and bring it under my face. My stomach is still grumbling, but less intensely than it was earlier.

Just as I feel like everything has calmed to a point where I might be able to go back to sleep, you bounce your legs, the movements jostling my tummy. I groan as the nauseating hunger builds in intensity again. It’s going to be a long night.