#i honestly can’t believe they stayed listed for like. a year and nine months??? but i guess it’s bc of their wens being a bit overgrown

[yutahoes]

Sakura

(Part Eleven)

One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six - Seven -  Eight - Nine - Ten - Eleven

genre : Chaptered, Fluff

pairing : childhood friends: soccer player! Nakamoto Yuta x single mom! Y/N

word count : 2.4k words

You’ll always be his Sakura.

@ailoveyuta @loona-4-eva @aiforyuu @2-3-t-i @cosmiclatte28 @url-lindo-sexy @nuoyipeach @aaasteroidsky  @readers-posts @delightfultacobread @bby-kji9​

"Dude, you are crazy," Mark exclaimed. "Now, you can't play with the team for a month." Yuta just shrugged. It was just probation, a warning against what he did earlier. Honestly, it was all worth it especially when he found out that the coach was relieved from his job. Some parents complained that his son is indeed a bully and the coach would often abuse the players of the team. 

Instead of heading to Germany where the team is playing, he's here in Korea and practicing on his own. "It's just a month, Mark. Don't overreact." He teased, seated on the soccer field. "If they don't let me play again, I'll apply as the soccer coach in the elementary school." The younger sighed, sitting cross-legged beside him. 

"You're serious about this girl, aren't you?" Yuta smiled, playing with the soccer ball. "What if you marry her, hyung? Are you planning to have a child with her?" 

He lay down the grass. "That's just a bonus. I wouldn't mind adopting Jae and Cherry, just the four of us would be fine." 

"But they're not your children." 

Yuta glared. "You don't need to be blood-related to call each other family, Mark." He chuckled. "I even call you brother." He took his phone from his jersey pocket, creating a message. "Speaking of which, do you want to come with me to Japan this summer? Okaasan would love to see you again." His gaze never left his phone. 

Mark nodded. "Are you bringing them to Japan as well?" 

Yuta smirked. "I'm going to ask Y/N first." He put his phone back in his pocket. "She said she's bringing lunch. Just wish that it's edible." 

The younger just shook his head that made Yuta laugh. Jae was running to him when they reached the field where Yuta is and Cherry gave him a hug. Y/N was just bowing at him and at Mark, apologizing for the bother but Yuta shook his head. He introduced his manager to the three and the two immediately called him 'samchon' that made Mark smile. 

They set up a mini picnic on the grass and Y/N showed the variety of sushi on different lunch boxes. “You made these all?” Yuta asked and she shook her head saying that it was Taeil, the chef in the restaurant she’s working at, who did everything. “And I thought I’m going to taste sushi cooked by you. You got me excited for no reason.” He said cutely that made Mark choke on his food. The older just glared at him but he shook his head. 

“Yuta appa, do you like sushi?” Cherry asked that made him nod. “This is my first time eating sushi.” 

Really though? He remembered eating some great flavored sushi in Chicago. And these, it’s really good. “You’ve never tried Japanese cuisines before?” The two kids shook their heads. He watched as Jae removed the vegetables, eating them then the rice covering the sushi. That's cute. He taught the younger guy how to properly eat the meal, even Cherry who just listened to them. 

After some practice and even playing with Jae and Cherry, Yuta invited Mark to come with them but he declined, only smiling at him. He brought them to the library that Jae and Chery liked, making Y/N amazed. "No wonder they liked this place." She exclaimed which made Yuta laugh, watching as the two kids started running to the designated rooms: Jae on the play area and Cherry on the mystery novels. "How did you find this place?" 

"I was searching for Agatha Christie books nearby when I found this library." The girl only raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't read much but Cherry seemed interested so I wanted to read some of her works. It's amazing, Y/N." 

The girl smiled. "I'm glad you're reading. You can't even make a book report when we were in elementary." Yuta looked offended but he just laughed. It was true anyway. He only picked up reading when she wrote letters for him. "So you're going to read with Cherry today?" 

"Will you be alright with Jae? He's kind of hyper when playing." 

"I think I can manage." She said with a smile which made him nod. "We'll see you later." 

Yuta held her hand and she gave him a puzzling look. "I like these little dates." Y/N just smiled at him. A simple smile that made his heart go haywire. He was grinning when he went inside the room where Cherry is that made the younger look at him weirdly. "What are you reading?" She showed the book, Five Little Pigs. "What was the book you were reading last time?" 

"The Body in the Library," Cherry said, not removing her eyes from the book. "Appa, should I tell you who the killer is?" 

The guy had to chuckle while looking for the book she mentioned. "Later. Let me just read the first chapter then tell me what happened." Cherry nodded then returned to her book when Yuta sat on the bean bag next to her. This is so calming. Reading quietly after a long day of practice. Next to a bookworm who seemed so engrossed with her reading. 

He liked this calmness. Wanted this calmness. Appa. Cherry calls him appa now. Who would have thought that the expressionless girl he met earlier this year is now warming up to him? Who would have thought that his youngest fanboy before would be his favorite soccer player now? Who would have thought that the girl he grew up with, who he tried to forget about, is now the girl who makes his heart race? How can he even make this calmness his?

"Cherry." He called, closing his book. "You said you'll help me with your mom right?" The younger nodded, smiling widely at him. It's weird that he's asking this thing to Cherry but this is the only thing he can think of. “What can I do to make her fall in love with me?” 

The younger laughed at that. “You should know it. You’re older than me.” But Cherry knows her more. “You should bring eomma out for a date. Make her eat delicious foods, watch a movie together, then buy her flowers.” She listed and he listened attentively. “You should also take her out dancing. Eomma would really love that.” 

“Your mom loves dancing?” 

Cherry shrugged. “But that’s what they do in romance novels.” Yuta chuckled at that. Of course, they do that. “After that, they kiss then they go to a hotel…” 

“What romance novels have you been reading, young lady?” Cherry was giggling that made Yuta smile while ruffling her hair. “Do you think I can make your mom fall for me that way?” 

The younger nodded. “She already is.”  

                                   ----------

“Hyung, you look weird.” Mark teased which made the older glare at him. “It’s just a date night. Haven’t you been on a date before?” 

Honestly, he had never been on a date before. This will be the first. And he can’t believe that it is with her. But Mark doesn’t need to know that. 

He was thankful enough that he volunteered to babysit Cherry and Jae for the night. He repeatedly took note of the things he must do, make her eat delicious foods, watch a movie together, buy her flowers, then take her out dancing. He can kiss her as Cherry suggested but the hotel would be out of the equation now. “Do I look alright?” He asked the younger guy who only laughed and said that he looked weird. 

Cherry opened the door then grinned at him, “Where are the flowers?” She asked and Yuta answered that it’s in the car. “What time are you bringing eomma home, appa?” Even Mark laughed at the tone of her voice. She sounds like a mom. 

“Before ten?” Yuta answered in a questioning tone that made the younger girl nod. Jae sat on his lap when he sat on their couch, asking if he could buy some chocolates for him on their way home. Yuta nodded although he’s surely sleeping when they get home. His focus was disturbed when Y/N went out of the room in skinny jeans and a pink hoodie. So pretty. 

“Eomma!” Cherry shouted. “Didn’t I tell you to wear that black dress?” 

Yuta chuckled at that. “It’s fine. You look great. Don’t dress up too much, I’ll get too nervous.” 

“I still don’t know what you two are planning.” She stared at both Yuta and Cherry who grinned playfully. “Why do you have to drag Mark here?” She asked then bowed at the younger guy who only smiled then shook his head. “Can’t we just stay here? I’ll just cook dinner.” 

Yuta started whispering in Jae’s ear that made the younger boy giggle. “Appa said you have to trust him and Cherry noona.” He chuckled then whispered something in his ear again. “Appa said you’re really pretty.” She squinted her eyes at the two boys. 

"You two should go if you want to return by ten," Mark said, taking Jae from Yuta. "Don't worry about anything here." 

Y/N kissed Jae's head before leaving, reminding him that he should behave and not give Mark trouble. “Y/N,” Cherry called that surprised them. “You should be Yuta’s date tonight and not Cherry and Jae’s eomma, understood?” The older girl just chuckled then kissed the top of Cherry’s head, whispering something to her that made the younger giggle. 

He held a hand out for her which she took, intertwining their fingers together. “Why do I feel like Cherry and you have something planned?” He opened the door to the passenger seat for her, nodding. Well, her daughter planned this date after all. “Where are we going?" She asked when he sat on the driver's seat. 

Before starting the car engine, Yuta handed her the flowers from the backseat that made her smile. He even helped her with the seatbelt that she unconsciously forgot. "To eat delicious food." He answered. "Do you have a place in mind?"

"I'm not yet hungry. Are you?" Yuta shook his head. It's still early. Maybe they can watch a movie first. But what is showing nowadays? "Yuta, can we go to a museum?" A museum? "You know when we were young, okaasan would always bring us to museums." He remembered that she liked museums so much when she was a child then his mom would always leave the two of them in front of a painting that she would stare at for hours. Yuta smiled. Maybe that was his first date without even realizing it. 

The museum was quiet with few people walking to see some paintings, a silent chatter can be heard in every corner. They stopped in front of a large painting of flowers, seated on the bench in front of it. Her eyes were focused on that canvas as if painting the picture with her mind. She hasn't changed. She's still the same girl. 

They walked to the further part of the art collection without even talking to each other yet he found the quietness calming. She stopped in front of a woman's painting, holding what looks like a sword. "Lucretia," she whispered. "I remembered first seeing this when I'm pregnant with Cherry." Yuta glanced at the painting. He's never a real good art critic, he doesn't even know anything about art but this looks sad. 

“What is the painting about?” 

Y/N smiled. “She’s a noblewoman from ancient Rome. I read that her suicide created a rebellion that changed Rome from kingdom to a republic.” He smiled, he can actually listen to her explanation all day. 

“She’s killing herself here?” She nodded. That’s why it looked so melancholic. “Why would she kill herself?” 

“Because she was raped.” It made him stop. “Oddly enough, the artist who made this painting is Artemisia Gentileschi and she was also raped.” He lightly glanced at her but her eyes were still focused on the oil canvas in front of them. “I thought I could be like that.” A bitter smile escaped her lips. “But whenever I hold a paintbrush, I can feel cold hands touching me.” 

Fuck, Yuta thought. He doesn’t want to imagine the things that happened or he’ll see red. Imagine how hard it was for her who actually experienced everything. That monster. He only hoped that Johnny could do something to make him pay for his sins. “I felt disgusted with myself.” 

He moved closer, his hand held hers. “It’s not your fault. You were a victim.” He slipped his hand off hers then held her closer by her shoulder. “I wish you could go back to painting without all these negative thoughts.” He rubbed her arm in comfort. “Whatever happens, I just want to assure you that you’re a strong woman just like…” he stopped then giggled. “That painter. What was her name again? Fettuccini?” 

Y/N laughed then leaned her head on his chest. “Thank you, Yuta.”

“Anything for you, Sakura.”  Y/N smiled. “Speaking of which…” Yuta let go of her, taking something from his jean pocket. “I had this for years now.” On his hand was a necklace with a winged beak-like image as a pendant. Cardcaptor Sakura’s necklace. “I was about to give this to you in Chicago when I confess.” He removed the hook of the necklace asking her to turn around to put it on her. “Now, we just wait for it to transform into your magical weapon.” 

The girl giggled at that, touching the pendant. “Isn’t this the necklace I wanted back in Osaka? You said I can’t eat it.” 

Yuta nodded. “You can’t. He smirked at her. “But now, you can eat my love.” She raised an eyebrow at that and he groaned. “That was so cheesy. I can’t believe I said that.” She chuckled at that, still playing with the pendant of the necklace. “This isn’t part of the plan. I should have stuck to Cherry’s date plan.”  

She smiled at that. “You really do love Cherry.” 

“More than anything. Jae too.” 

“Yuta,” she called which made him hum. “I’ll try to paint again.” He nodded encouraging her. “When I finish my painting, can you grant me a wish?” Yuta grinned then raised an eyebrow at her. What wish? 

But then, who is he to say no to her? He nodded. “Anything for you, my love.” 

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Twelve

[dangermousie]

2020 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

You can find my 2020 cdrama post here: dangermousie.tumblr.com/post/638449659546845184/2020-end-of-year-post-cdrama-edition

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2020; if it originally aired another year, it’s not on this list.

It’s been a pretty lackluster kdrama year. There are probably only 5 kdramas I truly loved and only three of them I was really obsessed over. Better luck in 2021!

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

42 Born Again - so bad, so incoherent, so insane, I have no idea why the leads signed up for it (and unlike some of the other watchers, I think it was awful from the very start.) There is literally nothing about this drama that makes sense.

41 Love with Flaws - a bunch of people who should be tried under the Geneva Convention.

40 Sweet Munchies - Jung Il Woo proves his inability to pick a functional script.

39 Meow the Secret Boy - if you ever wanted to bang a cat, this drama is for you. Not being a furry, however...

38 Do Do Sol Sol La Sol - I lost braincells just typing out this title.

37 When I Was the Most Beautiful - the only way it’s not the dumbest, most pointless melo of 2020 is because Born Again considerately came out the same year.

36 Woman of 9.9 Billion - if you want to watch an artsy French movie about miserable people, but only badly made, boy do I have a drama for you.

35 Lies after Lies - screams after screams.

34 Backstreet Rookie - people were up in arms about various problematic plots. I am a survivor of many plots much more problematic but even I couldn’t survive how utterly boring and annoying this drama was and how utterly irritating the leads were. This has taken Ji Chang Wook off my top favorites into “should I even check his latest Lovestruck in the City? Probably not” territory almost single-handedly (Melt Me helped, to be fair.)

33 Men Are Men - boring is boring.

32 Dinner Mate - two beautiful boring people eat out a lot.

31 Was It Love - no it wasn’t.

30 Alice - Joo Won in the shower can make up for a multitude of sins but not plot nonsense of such magnitude. When you find yourself thinking it would be better if he hooked up with the alternate universe version of his mother because at least then something entertaining would happen, you know it’s bad.

29 More than Friends - started out OK, then made me hate basically everyone and kept going.

28 Start-Up - honestly, it’s probably more decent than its place here, but the toxic and batshit fandom for it (the worst this year) made me feel like breaking out in hives any time it’s even mentioned.

27 The Spies who Loved Me - how to take a good cast and waste it.

26 Private Lives - it was good but it never took off with its concept and spent more time on the incoherent plot than the OTP which was its one strength. It’s a decent drama but coming after Heartless City and My Beautiful Bride from the same writer, it’s a disappointment.

25 Record of Youth - as high as it is due to Park Bo Gum hard carrying this entire awful drama on his shoulders and doing it so well I finished it. Alas, while he is in one drama (and that drama is great), the rest of the characters and the entirety of the script are a pointless useless mess.

24 Do You Like Brahms - excellent first third, mediocre middle, and terrible last third. I don’t know what musical term applies to this? Diminuendo, I think.

23 I’ll Go to You When the Weather is Nice - nice and mellow but nothing much happens.

22 Forest - mainly for Park Hae Jin’s excellent and frequently naked bod.

21 The Ballot - I didn’t love it as much as everyone did but it was well-made.

20 Hyena - more romance and less weird law stuff would make it better.

19 365 Repeat the Year - surprisingly solid.

18 The Game Towards Zero - see 365.

17 When My Love Blooms - very old fashioned, very lovely.

16 Chocolate - also very old fashioned and very lovely but also with Yoon Kye Sang performing medical procedures bleeding and shirtless. MMM.

15 (tie) Secret Royal Inspector - a fun if run of the mill sageuk.

15 Find Me In Your Memory - best melo this year.

14 Mystic Pop Up Bar - surprisingly good even though I wasn’t planning to check it out.

13 Where Your Eyes Linger - came out of nowhere but was tender and hopeful and lovely.

12 Itaewon Class - Park Seo Joon hard carries a drama that is already excellent. Love it.

11 Psychopath Diary - Yoon Shi Yoon is such a treat in a hilarious, cynical, dark comedy.

10 Kairos - more like ouroboros.

9 Queen Love and War - in a year where sageuks are very rare, this was solid and surprisingly moving and shippy.

8 The King Eternal Monarch - people didn’t like it but I did. It’s no masterpiece and both the leads and the writers have better dramas, but it was a lovely romantic fairy tale for me.

7 Mr. Queen - sharp, hilarious, and some of my favorite actors.

6 Psycho But It’s OK - healing, sharp cinematography and even sharper chemistry.

5 Crash Landing on You - the last ep pissed me off so much this drama is dead to me but I loved it so much until then I can’t place it lower in good conscience.

4 Train - who knew I would go this hard for an OCN drama or that OCN would do romance so well? But this time-travel mystery romance is just incredible and I shipped the OTP and rooted for the characters and loved every last bit of it.

3 Run On - this is the drama Record of Youth wanted to be but failed. Smart and lived in, you feel like you are peeking at real people, but also even four episodes in, I am so invested in the main characters separately and together, and care for them so much, it’s a little frightening.

1 (tie) Tale of the Nine Tailed - my perfect fantasy romance. I liked it better than Goblin, yeah I said it.

1 Flower of Evil - all the tropes I love in one incredible package. I would rewatch episodes waiting for new ones trying to puzzle the story and to stay withdrawal but it works just as well on rewatch. Lee Jun Ki brings his trademark tortured intensity and for once, both his leading lady and his script back him up and are worthy of that. It’s perfect.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It’s a tie between Tale of the Nine Tailed and Flower of Evil but if I had to pick just one, FoE, because it had me seriously obsessed and guessing about the protagonist and gave me the narrative tropes I love so much and an OTP that statisfied all my hurt/comfort kinks and then some.

WORST DRAMA

Born Again - honestly, this is so bonkers it almost becomes good but alas...

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Hyun Soo/Baek Hee Sung, Flower of Evil - he is so messed up, so on edge, so traumatized. Yet capable of so much warmth and caring even as he himself doesn’t realize his humanity. FoE is basically a story of a man pushed and punished by the world for his entire life who, because of one woman, finds a safe place and peace and slowly comes to life without realizing it, and watching his desperation to keep this small bit of normalcy is so heartbreaking and exciting all at once. Plus, you start the drama thinking he’s a psychopathic serial killer and end it (if you are me) thinking he must be protected at all costs and if anyone even looks at him wrong they must suffer, and that’s quite a change!

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Nam Ji Ah, Tale of the Nine Tailed - she is so funny and tough and smart and loving and amazing that I will totally buy that a literal demi-god will do anything and everything for her and love her for literal eternity.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Dad in Record of Youth - yes in a year with serial killers and supernatural demons, I picked a normal character from a mediocre drama. It’s his everyday awfulness to his family that hits so hard and I am sad he never got his comeuppance.

FAVORITE SHIP

Ji Ah x Yeon - a fearless reporter and an immortal demi-god who’s been hoping for his human beloved to reincarnate. A really rare set-up where the OTP is equally ride or die, so compatible and completely BAMF. I got why he waited for her for that long and then fell in love with her all over again. Perfection.

Runner up: Flower of Evil - he is so messed up he literally does not believe he is capable of love or empathy, but he falls in love with her anyway and so utterly she permeates his entire life. She is tough as nails and only believes what she sees and is the sole person who believes in him against the world. She loves him but he needs her. She needs him but he loves her. They are amazing.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Seo Dan x Gu Seung Jun, Crash Landing on You, North Korean x Conman were so good I shipped them harder than the main OTP and the end of that storyline pissed me off so much I dumped the drama and didn’t finish it for months (and it’s still dead to me.)

NOTP

Record of Youth - it started out and they didn’t have much chemistry but the dialogues were interesting and I thought the chemistry would grow. It didn’t and deteriorated, their dialogues became boring and relationship had zero development (about as much as the supposed female lead.) I think we were supposed to feel bad they broke up and they were going for a bittersweet open ending, instead I found myself happy about the break up of two incompatible, chemistry-less people and hoping for the love of God they never get back together.

FAVORITE SCENE

Yeon and the bridge of knives, Tale of the Nine Tailed - Yeon choosing to undergo the creeptastic bridge of knives for a chance to save Ji Ah, who at that point he is not aware is the reincarnation of his Joseon love because, as he says, he doesn’t care if she is or isn’t, it just would be more horrible to have her die than to undergo the horrific torture he is undergoing, and then the sequence with his catching her, her weeping over him and the fact that she is the original Joseon girl revealed and all the bandaging and his watching her sleep and all that loveliness, is everything for yours truly.

Runner up: Hyun Soo having that break-down at the cliff at the end of ep 15 of Flower of Evil as Ji Won desperately tries to convince him she is alive and he finally stumbles to her.

Runner runner up (it’s my list, I will do what I want): Do Won preparing to blow his brains out to give a chance to Seo Kyung to live in Train.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Seon-Gyeom, Run On. Yeah, I know. Im Siwan is tiny, delicate featured and has a runner’s build, none of which are things that normally appeal to me. But his character is so odd, so honest, so unflinching in pursuing what he thinks is right, so incapable of self-pity despite plenty of reasons for it, and so ridiculously attractive when he smiles, I don’t even care.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Kim Bum, TotNT - I started out being annoyed by him and ended up looking forward to his scenes and being distraught by his ending.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Honestly, none. I was fine with all the endings. I wouldn’t mind seeing post-end life of Tale of the Nine Tailed characters or the OTP settling into their literal new world in Train, but I am good.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Time jump that solves all the problems off screen or alternatively years pass and everyone is frozen - something that kdramas need to learn and need to learn badly. See Record of Youth, Brahms and Start Up.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Men who are ride or die for their OTP - this was a great year for this - the male leads of four of my five dramas were beyond anything on that scale (only exception is Run On because it’s still too early to tell there.) Yes PLEASE.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

This was a banner year for that what with Start Up, Do You Like Brahms, Record of Youth, and Private Lives all starting out well and nosediving off the cliff but winner is Crash Landing on You. I loved it so much for bulk of its run but the last episode pissed me off so much I deleted all my files and called it a day.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Flower of Evil - I had no expectations of this drama and wasn’t even planning on watching it despite liking both the lead actors because yet another “look at evil serial killer be evil” drama with no romance was not my thing. Luckily someone convinced me there might be some romance and I peeked curiously. Honestly, their promo campaign was the most misleading and dumbest thing ever.

Runner up Psycho but it’s OK - I have never liked Kim Soo Hyun in anything before and the drama premise seemed WTF but it was shockingly good and KSH totally blew me away.

Hardest Working Lead

Yoon Shi Yoon - he starred in two (!!!) dramas in 2020 playing three characters and not only were both these dramas awesome in a lackluster year, but if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew it was the same actor and the fact that the characters shared a face, I would have never believed that they were played by the same actor. So good!

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

My Beautiful Bride and Deserving of the Name - I was obsessed with both of them and honestly, they were much better than the bulk of 2020 kdramas I watched.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

The Moon That Rises in the Day, Hong Chun Gi, Joseon Exorcist, Island,  Frightening Cohabitation, Snowdrop.

[css1992]

Guilty Pleasure

[Porn AU]

Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM.

All the warnings listed on Part I apply.

Read on AO3

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V / Part VI / Part VII / Part VIII / Part IX / Part X /  Part XI / Epilogue

-x-

As it turned out, Tony did make great pancakes. Peter woke up the next day to the smell of them, and shyly headed in the general direction it was coming from, until he reached the kitchen. Tony was standing there, wearing impeccable gray dress pants, a crisp white shirt and a green tie, as he added batter to a frying pan. Peter supposed that was what heaven would look like when he died.

“Oh, hey, kitten, you’re up.” He grinned at him, who smiled in return, nodding. He had put his clothes from the night before back on, and he was glad he did, because Tony was dressed to the nines and it would have been awkward if he had shown up in just his boxers or something. “Sleep well?”

“I did, thanks.” And it was surprisingly true. Peter hadn’t had such a good night’s sleep in a while, he supposed he missed sleeping next to someone. He did share a bed with Beck for two years, so it felt awfully lonely to sleep by himself. “Are you headed to work?” He asked as he sat on a stool by the kitchen island and Tony nodded guiltily, fixing two plates of pancakes.

“I’m so sorry, I tried to make arrangements to get the morning off, but duty calls.” To his credit, he did look genuinely sorry, so Peter thought maybe it wasn’t just an excuse to get rid of him. Maybe.

“It’s okay, I have to be home soon, or my friends will worry.” Which wasn’t exactly true, but not exactly a lie either. They wouldn’t notice he was gone until lunchtime, since they both had work or class in the morning, but when they did notice, they would freak out.

“I thought you lived by yourself?” Tony sounded interested as he sat beside him by the kitchen counter and pushed a plate his way. Peter thanked him, taking a bite of the surprisingly good pancake.

“I do, but we live in the same building, so we’re always checking in on each other.” Tony hummed, nodding, and they were silent for a little while, until the older man spoke up again.

“Can I ask about your relatives?” He felt his eyes on him and knew that, much like the night before, he was testing the waters, making sure Peter was comfortable with that subject.

“Sure. I don’t have any, though. I’m an orphan, I’ve lived in foster homes for most of my life.” Peter didn’t really mind talking about that period – it was basically all he knew. He was too little when his parents died and was only ten when Ben and May passed away, so the foster homes were where he made most of his memories.

“Oh. I’m so sorry to hear that.” Tony winced, maybe thinking he had touched a sensitive subject after all, but Peter smiled and shrugged.

“It’s okay, it was a long time ago. My friends are like family to me now, so I’m good.”

“I’m glad you have them.” Again, he gave him that genuine smile that made Peter believe he was actually glad to hear that. Like he actually cared. “So… Can I see you again? Or was this just a one time thing?” The older man turned his body to face Peter, who froze for a second with the mug held to his lips, mid-sip.

“Oh, uhm…” Peter almost chocked on the coffee, not quite believing his ears. He honestly thought that the older man would slowly disappear from his life. Or maybe not even that slowly. Peter figured he had gotten what he wanted, so why would he stick around? “I mean, sure. If you want.” He said, like an idiot, and Tony raised a brow.

“I really do, but I don’t mean to pressure you, so if you want to say no and just go back to what we had, that’s okay. Or not even that, if you prefer. Just say the word and I’ll get out of your hair.” He sounded honest enough, but Peter quickly shook his head, eyes wide.

“No, it’s okay, I definitely wanna do this again.” He assured him, and Tony seemed satisfied with his answer, expression softening as he nodded.

After breakfast, the older man insisted on driving him home and when they arrived at his building, he felt a little awkward as to how to say goodbye, but Tony made it easier by simply leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips, one hand stroking his knee in a gentle caress.

“I’ll call you later, kitten.” He promised and Peter just sighed quietly, feeling dizzy.

He was a little out of it for the rest of the day, both Ned and MJ asked what was wrong with him in separate occasions, but he just said he was tired from his new routine. They had dinner together and when he went back to his apartment that night, he was just mildly surprised that he actually got a call from Tony. It was an innocent, sweet phone call, too. He did not expect that, to be honest, they had been sexting for two months and they had actual sex the previous night, so he kind of expected Tony to just go for it.

But no.

He asked about his day, about his friends, he told him about his own day, then somehow they ended up talking a little bit about Peter’s childhood, his parents, aunt May and Uncle Ben, it was just a really nice chat, which he appreciated. Not that he didn’t enjoy talking dirty to Tony, but the fact that he called just to have a normal conversation with no second intentions was, well. Nice.

He didn’t really know where they were going with that, probably nowhere, really, Peter was an ex-porn star, Tony was an A-list celebrity, a billionaire and a fucking Avenger, so there was literally zero chance they could evolve to something else. They would probably just go out a few more times, have mind-blowing awesome sex, and then go their separate ways. And Peter was okay with that.

It was fine. Really. It was just fine.

And it was for the best, otherwise how would he explain to Ned and MJ that he was dating Tony Fucking Stark? It would be a nightmare. MJ would kill him and lecture him on how big corporations like Stark Industries were destroying their way of life and Ned would pass out – and possibly die – so, yeah. It was a good thing they had no real future together.  

That didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy it while it lasted, though. Tony was really nice, a true gentleman, a good conversationalist, a great kisser and an amazing lay. So whatever he could get out of those moments they had together, he would. Everything was perfectly fine and under control. And did he mention fine?

The next morning, he woke up early and went for a jog around the block. He had been experimenting with different types of workout routines, but he thought he might stick with jogging and yoga for a while, he was even looking for a yoga studio close to his building so he could start training more seriously. When he got back, he took a long shower, made breakfast and spent a few hours answering people on Just4Fans, then posted a few pictures there, linked it to his twitter account and let people know on Instagram.

Tony texted him mid-morning and Peter blushed like a teenager when he read his message.

“Just saw the new pics, you look stunning as always, baby, but I have to admit I’m spoiled now, pictures are not enough. Can’t wait to see you again. Dinner tomorrow?”

“Flattery will get you everywhere, sir, keep it coming.” He smiled to himself and bit his lower lip, excited by the prospect of seeing Tony again so soon. “Tomorrow sounds great, where are we going? Should I start stressing about the dress code?”

“I was thinking you could come over. Did I mention that I’m a great cook? Pancakes aren’t my only specialty.” Peter felt butterflies in his stomach. It was stupid, of course, but he just found it endearing that Tony wanted to cook for him.

“I’d love to. I’m curious about your cooking, your pancakes did taste fantastic.” Just the thought of that morning and, more importantly, the night before that, made his mind wander, as a quiet sigh left his lips.

“Prepare to be blown away.”

“You’re so humble, I love that about you.” The young man smiled to himself.

“Thank you, kitten, it’s one of my many qualities.” Peter laughed at his antics.

They settled on a time and Tony insisted on picking him up, even though it was obviously inconvenient since they were having dinner at his place, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer, so Peter gave in. They talked a little more, but soon Tony had to go back to work and now that the younger man knew exactly who he was, he imagined it was a lot of work.

He went on with his Saturday – in the afternoon, he took a few pictures and videos with different sets of lingerie he bought with MJ when they went to Victoria’s Secret, and that should be enough to last him at least a few days. At dinnertime, he went down to his friends’ apartment, as usual, and they were both home.

“What’s up, nerd,” MJ greeted from the couch, but didn’t raise her eyes from her phone.

“Hey, Pete, dinner is almost ready,” Ned called from the kitchen island.

“Want me to set the table?” He walked over to where Ned was fishing a plate out of the microwave.

“Sure.”

Peter knew his way around the kitchen, so he got to work, placing the plates and cutlery on the small, square table by the counter.

“Hey, are you up for a Star Trek marathon tomorrow night? I don’t have any classes next Monday morning, we can stay up late.”

“Oh, uhm. I –“ Fuck, he hadn’t really thought of an excuse for why he wouldn’t be having dinner with them. “I can’t, because…” He noticed that MJ had finally raised her eyes from her phone, only to stare at him suspiciously. “I have this thing, uhm, on my Just4Fans… Tomorrow night.”

“Can’t you just schedule the posts?” MJ asked from the couch, because of-fucking-course she knew about that.

“Uhm, yeah, I can, but – uhm. It’s a live stream. I’m live streaming tomorrow for the first time. It’s good for tips and stuff, so. Yeah. I’ve already let everybody know, I can’t cancel.” He gave them an apologetic smile, trying to look convincing, but he was pretty sure he just looked like a nervous wreck.

“Oh. Ok, then.” Ned shrugged and didn’t seem bothered at all, but MJ kept staring at him from the couch, like she could smell his bullshit from a mile away. She didn’t say anything, though, for which he was grateful.

The next morning, he woke up early and decided to skip his usual jog around the block and just did a short yoga session in his living room, warmed by the morning sun that flooded his apartment at that time. He had lunch with his friends and spent the afternoon with them, but left early with the excuse that he had to get ready for his “live stream”.

When the older man texted to say he was waiting outside, Peter was already showered and dressed and skipped downstairs two steps at a time. He didn’t know what he was supposed to wear to a billionaire’s house, but he decided casual was probably fine, so he put on a pair of light blue jeans and a light pink, thin sweater.

Tony was driving a low-profile, black SUV and he got out of the car when Peter stepped outside the building. He had a baseball cap and tinted glasses on, dark blue jeans, a Metallica t-shirt and sneakers, and if Peter didn’t know it was him, he would never have thought that was actually Tony Stark.

“Hey, gorgeous, looking good.” Tony didn’t think twice before reaching out to pull him closer by the hips, stealing a chaste kiss from his lips. Peter blushed and completely forgot he should be worried that Ned or MJ might see them if they came downstairs for something, or even if they looked out the living room window. He wrapped his arms around the older man’s neck and deepened the kiss.

“Thanks, but you should get your eyes checked.” He joked as he let go, taking a small step back.

“Yeah, I think so too, I think constantly staring at such beauty is taking a toll on my eyesight, I’m an old man, after all.” Tony pulled him by the chin and stole yet another kiss. When he pulled away,  Peter shook his head and laughed.

“Oh my God. Seriously, do you practice these lines in the mirror or something?” He had a feeling that if it was anyone else saying half the things Tony said to him daily, he would find it corny and possibly annoying, but somehow the older man made everything sound charming, sweet, sexy, endearing – hell, everything at once. And he always knew what to say to make Peter’s knees go weak, it was unnerving sometimes.

“No, you just inspire me daily, baby.” He gave him a charming smile, as he opened the door and gestured for Peter to get in the car.

The ride to Tony’s place was filled with the sound of the older man humming along to the music playing. Peter didn’t recognize any of the songs, it was a classic rock playlist, but then he heard a familiar beat and thought it was a great opportunity to stick his foot so deep inside his mouth he almost choked.

“I love Led Zeppelin!” He didn’t exactly love Led Zeppelin and he was quite sure he had just heard a cover of that song, not the original version, but he thought he’d sound cool if he said that. When he looked over, though, Tony was laughing his head off. Peter blushed a deep crimson, eyes widening as he realized he must have said something incredibly dumb.

“Oh, you’re not joking.” Finally seeming to realize that the younger man wasn’t laughing along with him, Tony turned down the volume, as they approached Stark Tower’s garage entrance. “That’s Back in Black by AC/DC, kitten. But hey, I love Zeppelin, too, who doesn’t?” He smiled warmly, looking at him sideways, and Peter nodded.

“Oh, right. Yeah. Of course.” Fuck his life. Of course he had to make a complete fool of himself right at the beginning of the night. He wanted to jump out the window from embarrassment, but it would only add to his humiliation, since Tony had already parked and got out of the car.

The older man opened the door for him and Peter avoided eyes contact, as he led him to the elevator. He could still feel his cheeks burning on the ride up, his head was starting to hurt from shame. Was that a thing?

“Hey, don’t be like this.” Tony pulled him into a loose hug, kissing his temple with a soft smile on his lips. “It was an honest mistake. Besides, I wouldn’t be able to identify whatever it is you kids listen to these days.”

It was oddly comforting to hear that. Even though he knew Tony wasn’t trying to be mean to him back in the car, it was hard not to feel attacked in situations like that. Beck always tried to make him feel dumb, inferior and juvenile whenever he got the chance.

So he rested his head on Tony’s shoulder and nodded slowly. He was going to say something like “don’t worry, I’m fine” but it got lost somewhere in the back of his throat when the older man held him a little tighter and stroked his hair.

The whole interaction lasted merely a few seconds, soon the elevator doors opened to the familiar sight of Tony’s living room, looking just as impeccable as it did a couple of nights earlier. The older man gestured for Peter to lead the way and he did, paying closer attention to the details, since he was a little too nervous to do it the last time he was there.

What he realized when he took a look around, was that the penthouse didn’t look lived in at all. It was all glass and metal, shiny floors and sophisticated furniture, black and gray decoration – it looked ready to be featured in one of those shows that listed the most beautiful houses in the world, but it didn’t look like a place he would like to go back to at the end of the day.

“You don’t spend a lot of time here, do you?” Peter asked, as Tony led them in the direction he remembered the kitchen and the dining room were.

“That obvious, huh?” The older man winced and Peter flushed, realizing he might have been a little rude in his observation. “But yeah, when I’m home, I spend most of my time down in the workshop.”

“Ah, the famous workshop. I suppose if I were to visit right now there would be pictures of me hanging on every wall?” He joked, remembering that Tony had once told him that he would hang his pictures in the workshop and never get any work done.

“I mean, not every wall…” He turned to him and winked, leaving the younger man a little unsure if he meant it or if he was just messing around. Sometimes it was hard to tell with the man’s sarcastic sense of humor. “I’ll give you a tour after dinner.” He promised, when they finally reached the dining room.

The table was set in a simple manner, for what Peter was glad, it made him feel more comfortable and at ease. Tony pulled out a chair for him then headed to the kitchen, which was separated from the dining room only by a long, wide counter, where the had breakfast the other day.

The man came back with wine, pouring two glasses for them, then he started placing the dishes on the table. There was mashed potatoes, grilled veggies and roast chicken, and the smell was to die for, Peter’s stomach rumbled and he wasn’t even that hungry.  

“Voilà. This was my favorite meal as a kid, my grandma used to make this for me all the time when I spent summers with her.” He took a seat across from Peter, looking at him expectantly. The younger man found his enthusiasm amusing, so he fixed a plate under Tony’s eager supervision. “Tell me what you think. But be nice, I haven’t cooked this in a while, it might be a little dry.”

Peter took a bite of the chicken first, and it took him a few moments to feel the explosion of flavors on his tongue. The meat was tender and juicy, cooked to perfection, and the seasoning tasted inexplicably like home – it didn’t taste like something he could order at a restaurant, let alone a frozen meal he could buy at the supermarket. He then tried the mashed potatoes along with the grilled veggies and almost cried.

“Tony, this is so good, have you considered dropping everything and starting a restaurant?” he gushed, taking another bite of the chicken only to confirm that, yes, that was probably what paradise tasted like.

“Don’t exaggerate. I already like you plenty, kitten, you don’t need to flatter my cooking skills.” Tony smiled, shaking his head lightly, and if Peter didn’t know any better, he might think he was blushing.

“I’m not, this is seriously the best homemade meal I’ve ever eaten,” he insisted and Tony cocked his head to the side, with a confused smile and a frown

“What the hell have they been feeding you, kid?” He asked and Peter chuckled.

“Well, I spent most of my life in foster care and I was never lucky enough to end up in a family that liked to cook.” The families he stayed with weren’t bad – not compared to some of the horror stories he heard from other foster kids he met in the past – they just weren’t good. They provided him with the bare minimum for survival, so water and enough food to avoid starvation. “And uncle Ben and aunt May, dude… They couldn’t cook for shit.” He laughed, remembering Aunt May’s date loaf, which was probably the worst thing he had ever tasted in his life.

“Well, now I feel obligated to feed you properly,” Tony announced, and Peter quickly shook his head, feeling his face grow red for the hundredth time that night.

“Oh, no, you don’t need to, I wasn’t–”

“I want to, if I’m your only source of good, homemade food, then I’m taking this seriously, kitten.” He pointed a fork at him as he spoke. “And you can help me cook, what do you say? That way I can teach you a thing or two so you won’t starve to death.” Again, the idea that Tony wanted to cook for him was too sweet. He was an incredibly busy guy who probably didn’t even cook for himself, but he was willing to waste that kind of time on Peter. It just–

“Sounds amazing.” He smiled, nodding, and the older man’s face softened when their eyes met.  

“Good.” He took a sip of wine and topped off both of their glasses. “Did you tell your friends you were coming here today?” That seemed like a polite way to ask if they knew about him, and Peter wasn’t sure what kind of answer he was expecting.

“No, they think I’m home.” He watched the man’s face, waiting for his reaction, but there was none, so Peter felt like he should explain himself further. “After my ex – they’re just a little too overprotective, so, you know. I just don’t want them to worry.” Tony raised his eyebrows and Peter’s eyes widened, realizing what that might have sounded like. “Not that I think you’re my – that we’re – I mean, I’m not assuming anything, I just meant –“

“Hey, it’s okay, I know what you mean.” He reached across the table to squeeze one of his shaking hands. “Your friends sound like good people, by the way. You’re lucky to have them.”

“Thanks.” Tony smoothly changed the subject and started talking about his summers with his grandmother and how she taught him everything he knew about cooking. He said that was the reason why his repertoire consisted only of comfort food and Peter thought that was the sweetest thing he had learned about him so far.

Once dinner was done with, Tony kept his promise and gave him a tour. The place looked like a labyrinth made of glass and steel, there were five floors, several rooms with various purposes, but everything seemed sterile and impersonal, like nobody ever stepped foot in any of those places, which somehow made them look lifeless and even a little scary – like a ghost town of sorts. Peter couldn’t help but think that his tiny, mostly empty apartment felt more like a home than all five floors of Tony’s.

Well, all except for one.

“And this is the workshop,” Tony declared with a flourish when the glass doors slid open, revealing a wide, open space filled with worktables, holographic screens, robots, cars, Iron Man suits, and so many other things he had never seen before in his life. “Sorry about the mess.” He didn’t sound sorry, though, he sounded happy and proud, and Peter thought it was the only place in the penthouse that felt weirdly cozy and homey. To his relief – and secret disappointment –, there were no pictures of him in lingerie hanging on the walls.

“This is amazing…” Peter breathed out, realizing that that was Tony’s actual home. There was even a kitchenette in a corner, and next to it there was a small, cozy couch in front of a reasonably sized TV and a fluffy rug. He supposed Tony took naps there, too, because there was also a blanket draped over the back of the couch.

He walked over there, followed closely by the older man, and took a seat, sinking into the soft pillows.  

“I think this is my favorite room.” He blinked up at Tony, who regarded him silently for a few moments, and Peter started to think he had fucked up again. “What?” He whispered, but his answer came in the form of a kiss. He immediately melted into it, all worries flying out the window as he opened his mouth to taste him better.

Tony pushed him gently until he was lying on the couch with his larger body on top of him, and he’d be lying if he said that wasn’t the best feeling in the world.

It was a tight fit, but they made it work, as pieces of clothes were thrown to a pile on the floor; as skin met skin and made the room feel unbearably hot; as hands explored and mouths danced together and teeth left secret claiming marks on eager necks; as he felt, once again, full and sate and whole, and then spent and lax and dazed in the best of ways.

Suddenly, what had been frantic and passionate became slow and soft, what had been loud and messy became quiet and wholesome.  

The room was silent then, as their bodies slowly cooled down. Tony was lying on his back on the couch and Peter was lying on top of him, chests flush together, breathing in and out in sync. He felt a blanket being draped over his shoulders and he all but melted into the body underneath him.

“Can I ask you a question?” He whispered quietly into Tony’s neck, after several minutes, not sure if the older man had fallen asleep, his breathing was slow and constant.

“Baby, you could ask me anything right now, there’s no way I’d say no to you.” He answered right away and Peter giggled, pushing himself up on Tony’s chest to look down at him.

“Why did you want to meet me? For real?” Tony, whose eyes had been closed until that moment, opened them to gaze at him. He was quiet for a while, as one of his hands found the small of Peter’s back under the blanket and started rubbing circles on his skin.

“I liked talking to you.” He answered quietly, eyes locked on his. At first, Peter thought that was all the answer he was getting, and he would have been fine with that, but Tony kept talking. “You made me feel alive again.” His heart raced and his breath hitched in shock. He blinked down at the older man, who raised his free hand to tuck some of Peter’s curls behind his ear. “You see, things were… rough. After Thanos.” He remembered the funny story Tony told him in the restaurant a few nights earlier and was surprised to see such grief in the man’s eyes. “I had these nightmares. Anxiety attacks. Couldn’t sleep most nights.”

Peter reached out and ran a finger across the man’s forehead, trying to smooth down the frown that had formed there. Tony smiled, grabbing that hand to give it a little kiss.

“Pepper wanted me to give up the suit for good, said it was killing me and she wouldn’t stand by and watch it happen. On top of that, my relationship with some of the Avengers was strained, to say the least. I thought retiring from the Avengers would be enough to solve most of my problems, but I was wrong and everything just kind of snowballed from there. So what I mean to say is that by the time I met you, I was… Fucking exhausted.”

“Tony...” He frowned, heart clenching, because he could hear the pain in the man’s voice and how much he meant every word and it was devastating.  

“I looked forward to talking to you every night, you know. Still do. I don’t why you got under my skin like that, but you did. So when I said I needed to meet you, I meant I needed to meet you.” He smiled and Peter’s heart skipped a beat. The whole confession was almost too much to handle, too much to believe. At the same time, he knew what Tony meant because he had also been in a very dark place when they met and, somehow, talking to him brought some light back into his life. “My turn?”

“Sure.” Peter smiled, entwining his fingers on Tony’s chest and resting his chin on top of them, looking at the older man’s face.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to answer, I have a feeling this might be a bit of a touchy subject for you.” He cautioned, and Peter gulped. He knew what was coming and he thought about not answering, but Tony had been honest with him, so he took a deep breath and nodded.

“O-okay.”

“How did you end up doing porn? Not that it’s bad or anything, you just sounded so uncomfortable the other night... Like you’re ashamed of it, or regretful.” Tony asked carefully, one of his hands was still rubbing soothing circles on the skin of his back.

“Hm… Well. It’s complicated. I guess the short answer is: I was young and dumb and my older boyfriend convinced me it was a good idea. Then he left me and took all the money and everything we’ve ever built with him and – and now the only thing I know how to do is porn, so… Yeah.” It was a very short version of what happened, but very accurate as well. Tony frowned, raising an eyebrow.

“What do you mean he took everything?”

“He told me to pack a bag and leave. Whatever I couldn’t fit in my bag stayed behind, as well as the social media accounts, the channel, the money… He locked me out of everything.” Peter’s voice grew weaker as he spoke, because he felt so fucking ashamed. Of everything. Of admitting he let a man like Quentin into his life, that he made so many terrible decisions just so he could stay with him, only to be treated like that in the end. It was fucking humiliating.

Tony sat up in a haste, forcing him to do the same, until they were both facing each other on the couch. The older man’s eyes were wide, he looked so shocked it was almost funny. Almost.

“Peter, that’s – why – wait, and what do you mean he convinced you to do porn? Is it not something that you want to do?” Peter dropped his gaze for a second, not really sure what the true answer to that question was. If he was honest with himself, most times he just avoided thinking too much about what he was doing.  

“Well… I don’t hate it anymore, I guess,” he settled on that, after a few minutes of silence. “Sometimes I even enjoy it now, like… Like when we talk,” he mumbled the last part, raising his eyes again to look into Tony’s warm ones, and the older man looked back at him with – what? Worry? Regret? Guilt?

“So you hated it? Before?” He insisted, and Peter knew he could still choose not to answer if he wanted to, Tony wouldn’t force it out of him, but still – Peter wanted to tell him. He wanted Tony to know.

To know him. All of him. Even the parts that hurt.

“I did.” He whispered, holding back the tears that filled his eyes when the confession left his lips, because that was something that he never wanted to acknowledge. It took all he had to hold Tony’s gaze and not look away in shame. “I just felt… kinda shitty sometimes. Like… I wasn’t even human, just an object to be used and abused and disposed of.” He continued, swallowing a lump in his throat. He couldn’t read Tony’s expression, but his eyes were gentle as always, there was no judgment there. “I didn’t feel like my body belonged to me anymore.” Saying that aloud came almost as a surprise to Peter himself. He always tried so hard not to think about those feelings he almost believed they didn’t really exist, even though they were always there at the back of his mind.

“Pete...” Tony cupped his face in both of his hands, he looked so torn, it almost made Peter regret telling him.

“I’m doing okay now, I promise. I’m in control of my body, my choices, my money. I’m fine now, really,” he vowed and Tony pulled his head closer and pressed their lips together – it wasn’t even a kiss, just a caress.

“I can help you.” He offered with determination, holding his face in his hands, looking straight into his eyes and they were burning with anger, but Peter knew it wasn’t directed to him. “I can help you get everything back, I can make his life a living hell for doing that to you, I can –“

“Please, don’t,” He winced, shaking his head firmly, lifting his hands to hold Tony’s wrists, feeling his pulse and how fast his heart was beating. “Okay? It’s in the past. It’s over now. I don’t want to – relive it, I just want to forget.” His heart raced when the older man closed his eyes and started shaking his head. “Tony?”

“Peter, you can’t ask me to –“

“I am asking you leave it alone.” He insisted, a little desperately, but Tony’s face was locked in a frown and panic started creeping up on him. He couldn’t bear to think about confronting Beck, having to see him again, maybe talk to him again, he just wanted to move on, to forget he ever existed. His eyes burned and he closed them, trying to get his breath under control, but he could feel his hands shaking. “Please, please, don’t make me –“

“Hey, no, no, no.” Tony gathered him in his arms, rubbing his shoulders in a soothing way. “I’m sorry, no, I would never force you to do anything, okay? It’s your choice.” He cupped his face in his hands again, peppering kisses on his cheeks and forehead. Peter started calming down slowly, and even laughed a little when the man’s beard tickled his nose. “You know that I see you, right? And I mean I see you, Peter Parker, not the persona in the videos or the pictures, and you sure seem pretty fucking human to me, kid. You know that, right?” Tony kept holding his head in between his hands, forcing Peter to look back at him, which wasn’t necessary, he couldn’t look away if he tried.

He smiled, nodding slowly, leaning in to kiss his lips. The older man lay back down, pulling him along, until they were back to their original position. He rested his head on Tony’s chest and closed his eyes, sighing in relief.

He felt Tony wrap his arms around his waist, holding him tight, and he thought to himself that if heaven looked like Tony making breakfast in the morning and tasted like his cooking in the evening, it certainly felt like holding him at night.

-x-

Tag list (please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the list):  @sadachmesarthim @iamnotparticularlyproud @staticwhispersinthedark @bluestarker

Sorry for the long chapter, guys, it really got away from me 🥴 Only four more chapters to goo ✨✨

[suituuup]

pieces - chapter nine

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca didn’t expect to see her again dancing in a strip club, out of all places.

rated: E (drug use and emotional abuse in early chapters)

ao3 link

*

 “Chlo?”

 Beca called out when she came home that evening, pizza box in hand. She dropped her keys into the bowl by the entrance and toed off her boots, rounding the corner to the living room.

 She had noticed a definite shift in Chloe’s overall demeanor ever since Chloe decided to keep the baby.

 A light in her eyes that wasn’t there before, which reminded her of the Chloe she once knew, who was slowly coming back to life.

 It was weird and a little scary to think about how a newborn was going to be living with them in six months. She didn’t know how involved Chloe wanted her to be, but Beca was ready to help, whether it be with prepping the room, shopping for little Bean, or getting up at night to change diapers and feed them a bottle.

 “Hey,” Chloe greeted softly from her spot on the couch, clad in sweatpants and Beca’s Bellas hoodie she had kept since that night. “How was work?”

 “Good.” They’d just finished layering the song, but Beca chose to keep that to herself, as she wasn’t sure she was ready for Chloe to hear it, yet. “How was your NA meeting?”

 Chloe smiled and grabbed her purse, fishing for something in it. She produced a chip, showing it to Beca. The words      60 days clean and serene     were written on it, the NA logo on the other side.

 Beca beamed. “Holy shit, Chlo! That’s amazing!”

 She knew some days weren’t easy, even if Chloe’s overall mood seemed brighter, and she was insanely proud of her friend.

 “Yeah, I’m... “ Chloe shook her head. “I honestly didn’t think I would make it that far, when I got out of rehab,” she paused, meeting Beca’s eyes. “Thank you. For believing in me, and supporting me. I honestly-- I don’t know where I’d be if it weren’t for you.” She fiddled with the chip and smiled softly. “Now let’s make it to six months.”

 “Six months,” Beca echoed, nodding. “That sounds like a great goal.” She tilted her head to the side. “Have you talked to your parents today? How’s your dad?”

 “Yeah. He’s good, I think. I feel like he wouldn’t tell me if he was in pain, though.”

 “Did you tell them about Bean?” Beca asked softly.

 “No, I… I really want to tell them in person, once I’ve… told them the truth. Which is why I wanted to ask you…” Chloe nibbled on her bottom lip, clearly hesitant. “Would it be okay if I borrowed some money so I could visit them? I hate to ask this with everything you’re doing for me, and I promise I’ll pay you back when I get a job.”

 “Chlo,” Beca said gently, smiling. “Of course it’s okay. I’m glad you’re visiting them. That’s the first goal on your list, isn’t it?”

 Chloe nodded. “Yeah. And I was also wondering if-- you’d like to come with me? I know you’re busy, so I totally get if you can’t.”

 Beca pondered on that for a few beats. She was touched that Chloe offered for her to come along, and she hadn’t taken a break in a long time. “I’d love to. When did you want to go?”

 “Ideally before I start showing to the point where I can’t hide it anymore,” Chloe answered with a cringe as she rubbed the small bump hidden under her hoodie. “I guess I should be good for another month and a half or so?”

 Beca hummed. “Memorial day weekend is in three weeks, I could take Thursday and Friday off so we have three whole days there?”

 “That sounds perfect,” Chloe murmured. “I also wanted to know if it was okay if I invited Aubrey over for dinner next weekend? Now that I feel a little better.”

 “Of course. I’d love to see her, too. But I can totally hang out at Sarah’s if you guys want a one on one evening?”

 Chloe shook her head. “No, no, you can stay here.” She cleared her throat. “Is Sarah… okay with the situation?”

 “I uh, I haven’t told her yet,” Beca said. “About the baby, I mean. I wasn’t sure if you were okay with me telling her, yet.”

 “Oh. No, you can tell her.”

 “Okay, I will when I see her tomorrow,” Beca said. “I bought a bacon-mushroom pizza with pineapple on one half. You hungry?”

     “Starving.     I don’t know what it is with Bean, but I can’t stop eating.”

 Beca chuckled and pushed to her feet, giving Chloe a boost up. She padded to the island and opened the box, then headed to the cabinet to get two plates out. “Are we watching      The Bachelor?    ”

 She froze in her motion when Chloe zoomed down the hall, the sound of retching reaching her ears next.

 “Shit,” Beca muttered, setting the plates down on the counter before following after Chloe. She knelt by her and gathered her hair in her hand, rubbing her back in slow circles.

 “Bean doesn’t like mushrooms,” Chloe mumbled once she was done, reaching up to flush the toilet.

 “Are you sure it’s not the pineapple on pizza thing? Now      that’s     gross.”

 Chloe threw her a playful glare as she rested her back against the wall. “It’s definitely the mushrooms.”

 “I’ll go toss the pizza and open up some windows to clear the air. Want some ginger ale?” She had stocked up on that since it seemed to help Chloe with her morning sickness, which was lessening now that she had reached the end of her first trimester.

 “Sure, thanks.”

 Beca came back a minute later with a can and offered it to Chloe, lowering herself next to her. “Are you excited for your appointment next week?”

 Chloe took a sip. “Yeah. And nervous. Less so now that I’m past twelve weeks, but I’m scared something bad might pop up on the screen.”

 Beca’s hand came to rest on Chloe’s thigh. She had read into the possible complications cocaine use during pregnancy could have on a baby: premature delivery, malformations, weaning at birth… cocaine wasn’t as bad as opiates, and Beca had read that only 3-5% of babies had birth defects, but it was still enough to trigger some worry.

 “Want me to come with you?” She asked, always cautious when it came to not overstepping.

 Chloe covered Beca’s hand with her own, a small smile curving her lips. “Yeah.”

 Beca smiled back, then reached for her phone in her pocket and pulled up the app she was looking for. She angled her screen towards Chloe. “Bean is the size of a lemon this week.”

 Chloe cocked an eyebrow. “You downloaded an app that follows the baby’s growth?”

 “Yeah.” Beca’s nose crinkles in awkwardness. “Is that weird?”

 “No,” Chloe says, shaking her head. “I think it’s sweet. Bean’s going to have the best auntie in the world.”

 Chloe’s words made Beca’s heart swell, and she cleared the sudden emotions rising in her throat.      God    , that baby wasn’t even born but she knew she was already a goner. Which was weird to think about, because she couldn’t      stand     kids. But this was Chloe’s, so it was bound to be adorable, even despite Marco’s genes.

 “Aunties,” she corrects after a while. “All twelve of them.” A smirk curves her lips as she shrugs. “I’ll just be the coolest one.”

 Chloe raised an eyebrow. “The one Bean will come to for dating advice?”

 Beca’s nose scrunched up. “Yikes. I’ll swing that one over to Stacie.      No    , Aubrey. Can’t trust Stacie with dating advice.”

 She looked down at her phone when it lit up with a text from Sarah, saying she had just got off work and asking Beca if she wanted to come over to her place and whether she had eaten dinner yet.

 “Is that Sarah?” Chloe asked softly.

 “Yeah… she asked me if I wanted to go over, but--”

 “I’ll be      fine,”     Chloe assured her with a soft chuckle. “I’ll probably pass out on the couch around 8:30. You should go.”

 Beca nodded. “Okay.” She pushed to her feet, sliding her phone in her back pocket. “See ya, Beale and Bean.”

 She smiled at the sound of Chloe’s giggle on her way out, sliding her boots back on and grabbing her keys before slipping out. Sarah lived a fifteen-minute car ride away on a good traffic hour. Beca parked in front of her building, having stopped on her way over to grab sushi from her favorite place.

 “Hey you,” Sarah greeted as she opened her door.

 Beca smiled, pecking her lips as she stepped inside. “Sushi?”

 Sarah groaned, plucking the paper bag from her fingers. “You’re the best.”

 Beca chuckled. “Long shift?”

 “Yeah,” Sarah breathed out as she padded to her living area, setting the bag on her kitchen counter. “Beer?”

 “Sure.”

 They caught up on their respective days while they ate, low music playing from Sarah’s speaker.

 “How’s Chloe doing?” Sarah asked as she cleared up their plates.

 “Pretty good, I think.” Beca twisted around on her stool, tracking Sarah with her eyes as she cleared her throat. “She’s uh, she’s pregnant.”

 There was a notable pause in Sarah’s movements, before she gently set the plates down on the counter. “Wow,” she let out as she turned around. “Is she… keeping it?”

 “Yeah,” Beca replied. “I didn’t tell you before now because she just reached twelve weeks and the risk of miscarriage was pretty high up to that point.”

 Sarah nodded slowly. “Is she okay?”

 “It’s a lot, but she seems to be adjusting pretty well. If anything, the fact that she’s pregnant is helping her stay strong against her cravings.”

 “Good, that’s good,” Sarah murmured. She nibbled on her lower lip, something she often did when she was nervous or irritated about something, Beca had noticed. “So um, is she going to stay at your place?”

 Beca furrowed her brow. “Well, yeah. She doesn’t have a job and barely just got back on her feet, I’m not going to kick her out.”

 “No, of course. I mean, long term,” Sarah corrected herself. “Because she isn’t going to move out when the baby is born either, I’m guessing.”

 Beca tilted her head to the side. “Does that… bother you? The fact that Chloe is around?”

 “I just--” Sarah sighed, glancing down. “I’m not sure where I fit in all this.”

 “What do you mean?” Beca questioned softly, sliding off her stool and taking the few steps separating her from Sarah.

 “I guess I was hoping we would move in together, somewhere in the near future.” She shrugged. “We’ve been together for over a year and we haven’t even broached the subject.”

 A soft sigh flitted past her lips.

 “And I feel like a jerk,      again    , because Chloe obviously can’t be on her own right now, and what you’re doing to help her is remarkable and it makes me love you even more, but… I want a relationship with a trajectory, not a flat line. Those sleepovers a few times a week, and having some of our clothes at each other’s place, it just doesn’t feel like enough anymore. At least not to me. I want us to start building something real, you know? Not… with your best friend and her baby living right across the hall.”

 Beca licked her dry lips, swallowing. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know-- I had no idea that’s how you felt.”

 “Bec, is that what you want, too?” Sarah asked then, softly, almost shyly, as though afraid of Beca’s answer. “Because if it’s not…”

 “Yes,” Beca said, nodding. “Of course it is.” At least she believed so. She had always struggled when it came to commitment, and that was probably the reason why an uncomfortable feeling spread in her belly at the thought of moving in with Sarah. “We’ll figure something out, I promise.”

 Beca spent the drive home playing her conversation with Sarah over and over in her head. She understood where Sarah was coming from, and was even surprised Sarah had stuck around when Beca was so emotionally stunted when it came to expressing her feelings. She hadn’t given much of a thought to wanting to change things so soon, as she felt comfortable with the pace they were going.

 A heavy sigh puffed past her lips when she made it inside her apartment. She changed for bed, washed her face and brushed her teeth, settling in bed just past eleven. A knock at the door pulled her attention away from her phone.

 “Come in,” she called out softly, smiling when Chloe’s head popped inside. “Hey. What’s up?”

 Chloe shuffled in and sat at the foot of the bed, seemingly deep in her thoughts. “I’m-- I’m struggling.”

 Beca straightened a bit from her slouched position and set her phone aside. “Come here, Chlo,” she coaxed, patting the space next to here. “Cravings?”

 Chloe sat against the headboard, drawing her knees to her chest. She tugged on the ends of her hair, then started to bite at her nails. She was shaking. “I keep— finding reasons as to why I should— I should take something, telling myself one drink won’t hurt the baby and it would just be to—to take the edge off.” She reached inside the front pocket of her hoodie and handed Beca a twenty dollar bill, unable to meet Beca’s gaze. “I-I stole this from the bowl by the door to go buy myself a bottle.”

 Beca swallowed and plucked it from her fingers, making a mental note not to leave any money laying around either.

 “Thank you for telling me,” Beca murmured, imagining how hard it must be for Chloe to admit that she almost slipped up, and knowing how important for her recovery it was that she reached out.

 Among the many things Beca had read about addiction, one thing stuck with her: the opposite of addiction is connexion, something Chloe had lost for a long while when she let her job and her toxic relationship consume her. But she wasn’t on her own anymore, and Beca believed that was a vital step to her recovery.

 “You’re the strongest person I know, Chlo. What you’re doing is incredibly brave, and I’m in awe of you every single day. There’s no shame in thinking about it. It’s a normal part of the process. What is important is the fact that you didn’t let the addiction win.”

 Chloe shut her eyes and nodded, her shoulders slumping as she released a long breath.

 “Have you tried… singing it out? Or… dancing it out?”

 Chloe shook her head. Beca pushed to her feet, grabbing her phone and shuffling through her playlist. Florence + The Machine’s      Shake It Out     started to play from her built in speakers as she rounded the bed and extended her hands out.

 “Come on, Beale,” she coaxed once more when Chloe hesitated, holding out both hands.

 Chloe eventually relented, but she stood there, seemingly unsure of what to do. The carefreeness that once inhabited Chloe was nowhere in sight, and Beca’s heart broke upon realizing it.

 But she wasn’t giving up.

 She broke into her robot dance routine, knowing perfectly well it didn’t go with the music at all. Acting like a dork did make Chloe crack a timid smile, which prompted Beca to keep going, grinning when Chloe started swaying to the beat, slowly at first as she closed her eyes, taking it all in.

 “Shake ‘em out, Chlo,” Beca said, reaching out to increase the volume as the chorus hit.

 And Chloe danced. For real this time, without any chains holding her back as she let the music and the lyrics carry her, spinning around as she sang to the top of her lungs.

     “Shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa  

     And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back  

     So shake him off, oh whoa…”  

[accioxreparo]

baby fever | g.w.

part one // baby fever

synopsis: It came out of nowhere for both you and George. Maybe, just maybe, it might be something to consider

pairing: George Weasley x reader

warnings: none

a/n: Hi so this popped into my head and I had to get it out there cause it’s cute and sure maybe its a little self indulgent cause my cousin just had a baby and she’s adorable and here I am lol. This part is a little shorter but the next one is...well let’s just say it’s definitely longer. Also there may or may not be nine planned parts to this hc/fic hybrid series so...

tagging note: I know this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and just to be safe I was thinking of making a separate tag list for this so hmu if you want to be added!

~~~~~~

It wasn’t fair really. You never stood a chance. 

Teddy, your godson, had just turned a year old and it seemed like he was growing more and more every day. He had such a bubbly personality and despite the fact that he reminded you so much of his parents, ones who had felt so much like your own, he never failed to bring a smile to your face 

Two afternoons a week you’d go straight from work to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes where George was more often than not carrying Teddy, who would always be wearing a tiny little suit that perfectly complimented his, in a baby carrier strapped across his chest. Whenever you mentioned the fact that Teddy was close to walking by himself now he only smiled and gave you a shrug, “He walks too slow.”

You knew, though. Knew that he enjoyed the days you two had Teddy more than anything. The fact that he was growing right before your eyes made him want to hold on as much as possible.  

That day was different. It felt different from the moment you woke up early in the morning to find George with Teddy (who Harry had just dropped off) hoisted up on his shoulders, talking to him as if he could understand him while making breakfast. 

“Alright Ted, here’s our to do list. We have a new shipment coming in today with the materials we need for the skiving snackboxes. Just in time too, everyone’s gonna start shopping for school soon. We need to get on it if we want to have these done by July. - What was that? - No you cannot try these candies. Not yet anyway.” 

The sight has you beaming at them and stirs something inside you that you can’t quite pinpoint. You don’t even say anything until Teddy sees you and babbles while reaching for you. Then George is the one who smiles as you take Teddy from him, his hair turning bubblegum pink as you toss him in the air once before hugging him tightly

You think about that scene in the kitchen all day long. Every now and then you find yourself grinning and it’s only intensified when you’re sent to help out in the Infant and Children Wing of St. Mungo’s. The kids make you smile and you can’t help the lingering thought that you can’t wait to have one of your own. 

It surprises you. You’d thought about it, even talked about it with George before you got married but until then it’d sort of been put on the back burner. Still, the thought stays very much present in your head all day long. 

Then you’re sent to the Ministry to drop off some paperwork and that’s when you run into Bill. He looks quite flustered as he holds little three month old Victoire in his arms with a backpack thrown over his shoulder. When he sees you he shouts your name across the Atrium, catching the attention of several people. “I went to find you at work and they said you’d be here. You wouldn’t be able to do me a huge favor would you?”

For a moment you pay no attention to his words, simply cooing at Victoire who’s wide awake and giving you a toothless smile. “That depends, what is it?” You finally answer, happily taking Victoire from and smiling when she giggles as you gently rock her back and forth. 

“That actually,” Bill says as he drops the bag to the floor and sighs heavily. “There’s this ministry gala today that I totally forgot about that Fleur and I have to go to. I’d take Vic to mums but her and dad also have to go and you know how picky she is about everyone else. Adores you and George, though. You wouldn’t mind taking her would you?” 

Your answer is immediate “Not at all. Me and George have Teddy today too. I’m sure they’ll love seeing each other again.”

Bill looks relieved and he hands you the bag, “Perfect! We’ll be at yours later tonight then.” He says a quick goodbye to Victoire and hugs you before starting to walk away, shouting another quick thanks behind him as he disappears down the Atrium once more. 

When you step out of the floo and into your apartment you almost immediately feel a small pair of arms wrapping around your legs

“Why hello there, love,” You smile and kneel down on the floor, pressing a kiss to Teddy’s forehead. He peers into the bundle of blankets holding Victoire and his hair turns a variety of colors before settling on pink once again. “Look who came to visit.”

You don’t fail to notice how easily everything comes to you. It’s completely naturally that you and George move around your house together over the next few hours, chasing after Teddy, entertaining Victoire, making dinner together as the kids sit nearby. 

You quickly fall in love with both the sight and the feeling

You’re not too sure what time it is when Teddy finally falls asleep on the couch and you carry him to the room. Once he’s settled you head back to the living room to find George rocking Victoire to sleep while Bill digs through your kitchen and Fleur makes herself comfortable on one of the couches. 

When she sees you she motions you over and you take a set next to her. Her head falls onto your shoulder and you laugh a little. “Long day, huh?” “The longest.” She lazily motions over to where Vic is almost fast asleep and she shakes her head. “She never falls asleep that easily. George is a natural,” Fleur then turns to look at you and gives a sly smirk. “I hear you both are.”

You smile and look down at your lap, suddenly finding your wedding ring very fascinating. “I guess so.” You honestly have no idea how she does it but Fleur knows exactly what you’re thinking. “You’re debating it, aren’t you?” She sits up and turns to face you, leaning close in an attempt to keep your conversation private from your respective husbands. “Having a baby.”

You shrug and try to wave her off. “Probably just baby fever or something.” 

“It’s okay, you know,” Fleur sets her hand on your arm and you see the genuine, caring smile on her face. It comforts you, makes you really believe that maybe you are ready for a baby. “If being a mom is what you want then I know you of all people would be an amazing one.”

“You think so?” You find yourself asking as your eyes wander back to George who smiles at you when he finds you looking. Fleur nods as soon as the words leave your mouth. “I know so.” 

It’s then that you decide that maybe it is time to have a very important conversation with George. You only hope it goes as well as you find yourself wanting it to. 

>>> part two: the Talk

[nite-shay]

His Hero Part 4 (Kirishima Eijirou x Reader)

A/N: I don’t know if I’m completely happy about this chapter. I’m trying to get better with witting panic/anxiety/non-humor, so hopefully, next time, it’ll be a little better. Also, sorry for the long time off and just sporadic posting. Works been hell, but now that we’ll hopefully *grain of salt* were getting more people hired, I’ll have more motivation and time to write 

Warnings: Panic/anxiety , references to sex and/or sexual acts (nothing descriptive but suggestive) so I guess 18+? IDK how this works :/ If yer too young, offended by sex , sexual acts, sexual reference or don’t know where babies come from, please don’t read.

Word count: 3K 

Other then that, please enjoy! :D  

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4

*****

Kirishima didn’t protest when Fat sent him home for the day. 

‘Go home. Clear your head. Call me if you need anything.’ 

Honestly, he barely heard his mentor’s words. He just sat there staring at the screen. Watching, pausing, rewinding, and watching again. Over and over again. It wasn’t until Fat picked him up and carried him to the door, did he finally get the memo.

Yeah... he didn’t need to be here right now...

The trip home was nothing but a blur, and honestly, he remembered nothing about it. His body was on autopilot as his mind tried to wrap the possibility that he might have a kid. 

A kid… A son… Your son… His son? But… How? Err… Wait! 

Ok, he knows the ‘how’ of how kids are made. 

Better phrasing, how could this have happened!? He was always careful with anyone he was with! Err, not that was a really long list or anything. Typically, he was only intimate with someone he’s known for a while, and when he was, he’d use a condom, or they were on the pill. 

Oh fuck. How could he have let this happen!?!?

Calm down. Calm down. 

Maybe he was just overthinking everything? It could just be a coincidence. Sure, he and the kid have some similarity, but hey, there’s like, billions of people on the planet! So some are bound to look alike! That doesn’t necessarily mean they’re related, right? Total chance! That’s it! It’s that stuff we learned in school. Static? No, that’s not right; that was in science. The other thing was in math...Statistics! Yeah, that’s it!

So what if the kid has red eyes? His best bud Katsuki does too! 

The sharp teeth? Look no further than his gym bro Tetsu! Hell, depending on the quirk, it can be a super common trait!

The quirk being exactly like his... well, ok, that was… odd. And yeah, he hasn’t run into any with his quirk specifically, but, big but, it doesn’t mean there isn’t someone out there with his quirk! 

Or maybe it’s not his quirk! Maybe its a similar one! Really, really, reeeealllly similar.

Total coincidence! Anyone can have those traits!

He just… happens to have all of them… just like the kid… whose mother he just happened to have slept with… around six years ago… 

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!

The room suddenly felt like it was closing in on him. The air got thinner, making it harder for him to breathe. He jumped off the couch and started pacing. He’s had issues with anxiety for years, and one thing he did learn, when he got like this, he needed to move.

Breath and walk. Breath and walk. Breath and….wait! The kid can’t be more than five! He slept with you six years ago! Ha! The time doesn’t match up! So he can’t be his kid!

His legs felt like jello as the waves of panic finally came to a halt, and took a deep, much-needed deep breath.

He wasn’t a father.

This was a good thing. A great thing!

He doesn’t have a kid. The time frame didn’t add up. He was in the clear.

He should feel happy. Relief. Ecstatic!

So why did he feel like he just got punched in the gut? 

He sighed as he made his way to his fridge in search of something to calm his nerves. Beer isn’t his typical drink of choice, but he was glad he kept a few on hand in moments like this. Since he was single and didn’t have a roommate, his place was the place of choice for ‘bro’s night.’ 

Though sometimes, there was nothing like a cold one to just chill after a long hard day.

He grabbed one of the glass bottles by the neck, activated his quirk, and flicked the lid off with his thumb. Cool little party trick he learned a few years back. 

As he tilted the drink back, he took a long hard swallow and let his mind wander. The beer of choice today was one Katsuki preferred. It was good, smooth going down, and less alcohol content. Which was fine. Ochaco, even after giving birth, still couldn’t stand the smell of alcohol. Pregnancy wasn’t a subject Kirishima knew a lot about, but he knew enough to respect it. 

He’d seen her hauling ass many adays to the toilet of the slightest whiff of something she didn’t like.

Then the cravings came along, which prompted a few late-night trips to the store by Katsuki or himself if his bro was at work. 

He chuckled as he thought about the few times Katsuki had said something to piss her off and sent him over to the redhead’s place for the night. Only to call him back a little while later in tears because of mood swings. 

Towards the end was rough, though. She’d been put on bed rest and was in a lot of pain. Katsuki took fewer shifts during that time to stay home and help ease her in any way he could. 

Damn, she went through all that for, what almost a year? Maybe not quite a year, but it had to be close. 

Was it nine or maybe ten months?

His brain came to a screeching halt, mid-swallow as he started calculating.

Beer spewed out of his mouth and nose as he tried to breathe and swallow at the same time. 

The nine months adds almost a year! *Cough* Meaning the kid’s age would make sense! *Cough Cough*

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! It can’t be true, can it? He… He’d used protection… hadn’t he?

His mind raced as he thought back to that night six years ago.

It was Izuku’s birthday and his girlfriend, future wife Melissa, rented out a small private Terence at a hotel to celebrate. It was small, maybe fifteen people max: just some friends, family, and a few colleges of the green-haired hero.

He was having a few drinks while chatting with Denki and Hanta when he first saw you. That was when he first saw you… You were chatting with your Melissa and Izuku, and damn… he couldn’t stop staring at you. You were so beautiful, and the way you tried to hide your angelic smile every time you laughed made his heart skip a beat. 

Eventually, his two friends figured out just what or who had caught his attention. Which brought on a relentless amount of teasing. It took about twenty minutes, a few beers, and an angry blonde for him to finally make his way over to you.

Katsuki, at some point, approached his childhood friend, then proceeded to yell at him for some reason or another. Even on his birthday, the guy couldn’t catch a break. Now that he thought about it, it was over something All Might related. Something about a suit and which version was from what era? You were looking rather uncomfortable (Melissa was used to this) at the aggressive (mainly Katsuki) debate. That’s where he came in. With the help of Ochaco and Melissa, he finally got the two distracted enough to send them to opposite corners of the party. 

And then, he was left all alone with you.

He was so nervous that he even stumbled through his own name. Luckily, he played off his nervousness by making light of his two friends. To his surprise, you took his jokes in stride and even had a few comebacks of your own. 

The two of you must have talked for over an hour! Just one conversation after another. He’d never met anyone like you before. You were just so loving, kind, and just… wow!

Then things start to get a little fuzzy.

He remembered talking, drinking, joking, more talking, and more drinking. 

A weird memory of a drunk Denki yelling, “I swear to drunk I’m not God!” before face planting into the punch bowl. 

Then while everyone’s attention was on Denki, the two of you snuck away and back to his room. 

A makeout session on the elevator leads to the two of you missing his floor and shocking an elderly housekeeping lady. That was embarrassing but didn’t seem to stop the two of you.

Then things get really, really blurry, but somehow the two of you made it back to his room without any other incidents. 

While the rest of his memories were bits and pieces, but he… did remember the most of the ‘activates,’ and it’d been consensual, and yeah… he’d definitely used protection! That much he remembered!

The next thing he knew, it was the next morning, where he woke up alone, with a hangover, and felt better than he had in awhile. 

Too bad that feeling didn’t get to last. His phone rang not long after he woke up. It’d been work, a villain was causing trouble, and they needed him asap. 

He showered, dressed, grabbed his stuff, and left. 

Then… he’d gotten hurt… bad…

Ended up in the hospital for nearly a week. 

After he got out, he, well, had an interesting voicemail and charge on his credit card.

He blushed hard as he remembered the hotel’s message regarding the ‘damages’ done to the room. In particular, the ones done to the sheets and headboard. They even sent him pictures!

Damn, he couldn’t believe he lost control of his quirk like that. He hadn’t done that since… well, since his ‘first time.’ That was so embarrassing. Thankfully, he didn’t think he’d hurt you in the process. Of all the pictures and list of damages, blood-stained sheets weren’t listed. Maybe that’s why he never worked up the courage to reach out to you. Even if he didn’t hurt you, he might have scared you...

Wait….

He lost control of his quirk.

Oh… OH SHIT! Realization dawned on him.

Even if he had put a condom on, his quirk might have damaged it!

Then that means… there is a chance he's the father of your son!

FFFFFUCCCCKK!!!!

But wait.

If he really was your son… why haven’t you contacted him?

His footsteps slowed until he came to a standstill.

You would have told him if he was, wouldn’t you?

Granted, the two of you never exchanged numbers, and we’ll it’s not like he did much to reach out to you either, but… You would have known he’s friends with Izuku, so you knew a way to contact him. 

Two-way street, buddy. He internally lashed himself.

Between racking his brain and scolding himself, he didn’t hear the knock on his door until the visitor started pounding. 

“Oi! Shifty hair! Answer the damn door!” A loud, brash voice that could only belong to one person yelled through the abused door.

Katsuki? Why was he here?

Kirishima hurried over to the door before the blonde got too impatient and blew it down… again. He took a deep breath and put on his brightest and cheerful grin before opening the door to greet his grumpy best friend. 

“Oh hey, Bakubro, what’s up?” 

“Don’t bro me! Why the hell am I getting called from your boss to check up on you?” He growled.

“Fat called you?” That was a surprise. 

“Yeah, he did. Had to switch my patrol around and everything.” He brushed past the redhead, letting himself in. Kirishima sighed as he shut the door behind them. 

“I’m really sorry about that. Not sure wh-”

“Don’t start that bullshit with me.” Those fierce red eyes locked on to him. “And drop that fake ass smile. Always hated when you did that shit.” He mutters.

Damn, Fat just had to go and call him of all people. 

If it’d been anyone else, anyone at all, he could play this off. A bright grin, crack a joke or two, maybe a few reassuring words, and he could send them on their way. 

But not him.  No, not Katsuki. Most people wouldn’t in a million years think the aggressive blonde could show anything other than anger. And yeah, the guy was rough around the edges, and he wasn’t the best with words. But nonetheless, here he was. 

And sometimes, that’s all that mattered.

Fuck. 

“So why am I here?” Katsuki wasn’t backing down, so Kirishima took a deep breath.

“What did Fat tell you?” While his smile didn’t waver, he felt his stomach belly flop to the floor. 

“Bastard would spill it, just said you’d need me right and to get over here. Now what the fuck is going on?” While he still sounded angry, there was an underline concern in his tone that most people tend to miss. 

Who would have known that would be the thing to make him crack? Well, obviously, Fatgum knew, hence why he sent the blonde over. The great explosive hero was one of the few people that could blow a hole right through his hardened armor. 

Both figuratively and literally.

With tears in his eyes, he dropped his bright grin and let the damn of emotion bust. He explained everything that had happened. The robbery, the hospital, you, your son, the night he first met you, the security footage, everything! Hell, he was sure he went into a little too much detail when he described you and that night.

The blonde just stood there shell shocked as he tried to absorb the word vomit hurled at him. 

“S-so, yeah… I might… have a…” he couldn’t finish. He just let the silence hang between them. 

“You… dumbass.” He sighed quietly, running his hand through his hair before looking him right in the eyes. While his best friend was known far and wide to have a temper, when shit got real, it was eerie how calm and focused he was. “Are you sure he’s your?”

“I-I don’t know. I mean-”

“Have you talked to the mother?”

“N-No!” 

“Have you talked to anyone about this?” He pressed. “Does anyone else think you’re the father?”

“No! Well, Fat might, but that’s cause he was with me when I put the piece together. But I haven’t told or asked anyone else about this. Honestly, other than the mother, I don’t even know who else to go-” The redhead piped up. Something flashed in his friend’s eyes, and for a moment, he looked like he was ready to commit murder. Fuck was he made? He hadn’t come to him about this yet!? Of course, he was! He was finding this out because his boss called him, not because he had called him! Some friend he is... “I was totally going to call you about this! I swear! You’re my best friend. This just happened so suddenly!”

“I know you would, Ei. Chill.” The blonde’s features soften for a second, soothing the redhead some. But he could tell Katsuki was trying to keep his temper in check. “I’m not mad at you but, I’ll ask again. Does anyone else know about this?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. I only found out about this today, and I haven’t had any contact with (Y/N) since the other day and well at Izuku’s birthday party.”

“Ok. Stay here for a bit. You need to calm down. We need more information first. If he isn’t your kid, you’re losing your shit for nothing. And if he is... well,” He paused, “Cross that bridge when you come to it.” He pushed the hero towards the couch and made him sit down. “I need to make a phone call.” 

Kirishima blinked as his best friend made his way towards his front door. “NOW SIT THERE. SHUT UP AND CALM DOWN!”

*SLAM*

This was a new level of anger for the blonde. He couldn’t stand seeing the redhead like this. He felt even worse, leaving him alone like this. The damn guy lived off socialization with others, so for him to be facing this alone. 

Yeah... it really pissed him off.

The blonde stomped his way back to his apartment, which was just a few doors down. He did need to make a phone call; he hadn’t been lying. But it was a call, that big, dense red rock didn’t need to hear. 

Fuck. He couldn’t believe this. Did shitty hair really have a kid? 

Katsuki made his way inside his home. The home he shared with not only his wife but his newborn daughter. 

Fuck. He has a kid… and he never even knew. 

As he made his way through the foyer and into the living room, something caught his eye. Something black, orange, green, and tiny laid on top of a basket of unfolded laundry. It was the custom design onesie Momo had gotten for their daughter as a baby shower gift. The custom design was made to look like his hero costume. While he scoffed at the thing initially, he made sure that she wore home from the hospital. 

Well, tried. About halfway through the hospital parking lot, she decided now was the best time to need a diaper and outfit change. 

Little brat. He smirked.

If you’d ask him a few years ago what he thought of kids, he would have brushed it off, not really caring about it. His hero career was his focus. He needed no had to be number one. 

But now that he has a little one of his own, he realized there was more to life than being number one. Was he still going to do it? You bet your ass, but now that he has his wife and his child that climb to the top well, he couldn’t dream of making it there without them. 

He couldn’t imagine a world without her. Let alone a world where he didn’t realize she existed.

He whipped out his phone and thumbed through his contacts.

Especially if someone knew about them. 

He took a deep breath and hit send.  

Someone close to not only the kid but himself. 

And still not tell him.

He knows. There’s no way in hell that precipitative little shit doesn’t know!

One ring. Two rings. Three rings.

“K-Kacchan. This is a surprise. You never call. Is everything-” Katsuki cut him off. 

“We need to talk. Now.” 

****

Links: Part 1,  Part 2 ,  Part 3, Part 4

Thanks for the read! If you want see the other stuff I’ve done, click the link bellow!

MasterList

Tags: @hot-pocket01 ,  @simpforeveryone , @remember-happy-things 

[ezzydean]

barycenter

for @notsuchasecret

CLICK HERE TO READ ON MY BLOG INSTEAD OF THE DASH

5+1?  Nah.  8+1

8 times a friend cared for/comforted Rei and 1 time he comforted a friend.

(barycenter:  the common center of mass around which two or more bodies revolve)

Nagisa It’s been a long day.  One of the longest he’s had in years.  And somehow he still has hours and hours left of it.  The math of the day just isn’t adding up but he honestly can’t be bothered to figure out just how the last two hours have actually managed to last approximately fifteen years.  Or maybe it’s the last fifteen years that have actually lasted two hours.  He’s not even sure which way it should go.

Not much makes sense today.

He’s pressing his fingertips against his eyes, glasses abandoned on the table about twenty minutes past half a year ago, when he hears soft footsteps padding down the hallway towards him.

“Oh, Rei-chan,” Nagisa breathes out.

Then there’s cool fingers running through his hair and a warm body settling into his lap and the smell of Nagisa’s apple scented body wash filling the air between them and it really says something about his day that he doesn’t even attempt to flail, flounder, or protest Nagisa invading his space in any way, shape, or form.

He tips his head forward, nose resting against Nagisa’s collarbone, and wraps his arms around Nagisa’s waist.

Sometime between a half hour and nine years later he relaxes with a shuddering breath and Nagisa hums softly.

“Next time call me before it gets this bad,” Nagisa murmurs.

Rei nods in agreement even though they both know he’s far too stubborn and sometime in the next seventy-whatever month-hours Nagisa will pad down the hallway and spot Rei bent over the table, too tired to function anything remotely close to properly.  But that’s okay.  Because when he does Nagisa will pull him apart so gently and help put him back together with gentle fingers and bright smiles.

Rin “Hey.”  A warm body drops into the booth next to him.

“Hello, Rin,” he replies politely.

“What’s eating you?”

He glances over and meets Rin’s curious gaze for only a moment before he goes back to staring blankly at the menu sitting on the table in front of him.

“Nothing.”

Rin scoffs.  “Forgive me if I don’t believe that,” he says.  He snatches the menu and grumbles about the ridiculous prices and the silly names and other stuff that Rei barely listens to.  He listens to the rise and fall of Rin’s voice.  He catches the easy shrugs and hand gestures as he rambles.  He feels the way Rin leans against him to half-whisper something to him and then just never quite sits all the way back up.

He simply exists for a little while and lets Rin pull him along in his wake.

By the time the others join him he feels less untethered, less ready to float away at a moment’s notice, and he presses his shoulder against Rin’s in silent thanks.  Rin grins a ‘you’re welcome’ in return.

Makoto Sometimes he just gets so incredibly, unreasonably, unfairly cold.  When it’s the middle of winter and there’s snow on the ground he can understand it.  But in the tail end of summer when the sun is high in the sky and the ground itself seems to throw off heat it’s a little ridiculous.

But ridiculous or not here he is, sitting on the beach and watching his friends chase each other around and laugh and have fun while he sits in the sun and shivers.

A shadow looms over him and Rei leans his head back.  Makoto smiles down at him and gestures to the ground next to him.

“May I?”  Rei nods with a slight smile of his own.  Leave it to Makoto to ask permission before sitting next to him on the beach when they had been squished together in Sousuke’s frightening excuse for a vehicle less than an hour ago.

They sit shoulder to shoulder and watch as Rin and Momo attempt to pull Haru under the water while Gou and Seijuurou egg them on.  He’s not entirely sure where Ai and Nagisa have gotten off to but the last he saw of them they had their heads bent together, laughing as they clearly planned something.

A shudder runs through him and he huffs in irritation.

“You know,” Makoto says suddenly.  “It still takes me awhile sometimes.”  Rei makes a questioning noise.  “To get in the water.  To be comfortable enough to remember that especially with everyone else here I’m safe.”

“It’s not really that,” Rei says.  “I just get so cold sometimes.”

Makoto shrugs.  “The water isn’t the only thing they keep me safe from,” he says as Haru dramatically pops up in the water, sending Rin and Momo swimming away from him as fast as possible.

Rei scoots a little bit closer until Makoto laughs and wraps his arm around Rei’s shoulder, pulling him tight against his side and Rei sinks into the warmth and refuses to move even when Rin stumbles up to them a few minutes later and flops across them, soaking them both.

Gou “For someone so smart,” Gou says as she tucks the blankets up around his shoulders, “you’re pretty stupid sometimes.”

Rei does his best to pout at her.  Not that it really does much.  He doesn’t have Nagisa or Ai’s puppy dog eyes and even if he did he’s pretty sure Gou wouldn’t be swayed by them.

“Not like I was trying to catch Haru’s cold,” he mumbles.  At least that’s what he tries to say.  He’s not sure how much of it comes out the way it’s supposed to.  The fond look Gou gives him really doesn’t help him figure out if the words all came out in the right order or not.

His everything hurts.

“You’re lucky you’re adorable.  And my mom loves you so she sent over soup and gave me a list of stuff to buy for you.  Even though I’m pretty sure by now I know how to handle a stupid boy getting a stupid cold.”

“I am lucky,” he rasps out.

Gou smiles and brushes some of his sweaty hair from his clammy forehead.

“Yeah.  But I suppose we’re lucky to have someone like you too.  So we’re all pretty even in the end.”

Sousuke Logically he knows that he’s lucky they caught it this soon.  That he’s here mostly for prevention and not for rehab.  It still doesn’t stop his hands from shaking ever so much as he makes his way into the clinic for his third appointment for his shoulder.

“Rei?”  Somehow the thought never occurred to him that this might be the same clinic that Sousuke visits for his own shoulder.

His hands shake even more and he curls his fingers until they’re clenched fists hanging at his sides.  He tenses his jaw and refuses to let himself give in to the tears that suddenly try to overwhelm him.

Sousuke glances over his shoulder.  “Hey Ayame,” he calls out.  “Ryuugazaki is here for his appointment but we’re gonna go for a quick walk beforehand okay?”

He doesn’t look at the receptionist, a lady who has the kindest eyes Rei has ever seen in his life, doesn’t listen to whatever she says to Sousuke in reply.  He just lets Sousuke settle his hand in the middle of Rei’s shoulders and guide him carefully outside.

“I get it,” Sousuke says eventually.  They’re about three blocks from the clinic and Sousuke’s hand is warm where it’s still resting between Rei’s shoulder blades.  “It’s a lot and it’s kinda frightening.  Especially since we’re, you know, not creaky old men.  We’ve still got a lot ahead of us.  People like you and me we’ve gotta be careful.”

He could be talking about their shoulders.  But Rei is pretty sure Sousuke is talking about something far more internal.  Something far easier to bust and something that is much, much harder to repair when it does.  He nods and takes one last deep breath before they turn and head back to the clinic.

He’s not even remotely surprised when Sousuke is sprawled in the waiting room flipping through a magazine when Rei finally finishes his appointment.

Momotarou Some days you just can’t win.  His bag strap broke this morning.  He stepped in a puddle less than five minutes after leaving.  He dropped his glasses and scratched the lenses.  He forgot his lunch on the counter and he’s pretty sure his stomach is trying to eat itself even though it is physically impossible to do so.  And now he’s sitting up with a wince and glaring down at the rather impressive scrape he now has on his arm.  Because of course his shoes came untied without him noticing until he literally tipped over his own feet.

A hand appears in front of his face and he tilts his head up until he sees a familiar face.

“Come on,” Momotarou says with a friendly smile.  “My place is just a few blocks away.  We’ll get you cleaned up.”

He can do it himself.  His own place is only a few blocks in the other direction.  But he lets Momotarou pull him up by his uninjured hand and tug him down the block and lead him to his apartment and push him into the bathroom.  The first aid kit Momotarou pulls out is extremely well stocked and Momotarou laughs when he sees the look on Rei’s face.

“Yeah.  I’m not the most graceful of people out of the water,” he explains as he wets a cloth and gently wipes at Rei’s arm.  “So when I moved out on my own my parents bought me a good first aid kit and then my brother and sister both bought me extra supplies.”

Rei simply nods and lets Momotarou clean his arm and carefully apply antibiotic to it.

“Something wrong?”  Momotarou is staring at his arm with a frown.

“No.  I just don’t know if I have a bandage big enough to cover the whole thing and I don’t want you to rub it on something on accident.”

Rei glances down at the scrape.  “Then give me two bandages,” he says.  “Or wrap it in some gauze.  It shouldn’t take long to start scabbing up a bit.”  Momotarou’s eyes dart from the scrape to the first aid kit to Rei’s face and back again.  “If it’ll make you feel better I’ll even stay here a bit before going back outside.”

Momotarou scrunches his face and then nods.  “I think that sounds okay.”

“Thank you, by the way,” Rei remembers to say as Momotarou loosely wraps a piece of gauze around his arm.  Momotarou grins at him, accepting the thanks with a wink.

Seijuurou “You’re never going to be perfect.  None of us are.”  The words are surprisingly comforting.  Or maybe it’s Seijuurou’s hand warm on his knee as he talks Rei back from the edge of a potentially epic meltdown.  “You’re never going to be Tachibana but that’s okay.”

The captaincy had been weighing heavy on his mind and even heavier on his shoulders and instead of giving into the temptation of letting it boil over into frustration and irritation and taking it out on the others Rei had cut practice short and started walking.  He’s not quite sure where he is or why the former Samezuka captain was there but he was thankful just the same because Seijuurou had taken one look at him and led him down a sidewalk to a bench, sat him down, and started talking.

About his own blunders as captain.  About his rambunctious teammates.  About not only training and going to school with his teammates but living with them as well.  About how he learned the hard way that he could count on his team to support him.

“You have a good team and, more importantly, good friends.  Let them help you.  Lean on them if you need to.  Hell you have my number still right?”  Rei nods absently.  “Give me a call if you need.  Or call Tachibana.  I know I’d be more than happy to help and I’m sure he would too.  Just remember.  They’re your team now.  You’ve gotta figure out what works for you.”

He sits there and lets Seijuurou talk and talk and talk.  He does wonder, briefly, when he started being acquaintances with so many talkative people and then promptly pushes the thought aside because he knows exactly when.  It was when he joined the swim team.

It was when he made the choice to change his entire life by stepping out of his comfort zone without looking for a net to catch him should he stumble.

Aiichirou They’ve exhausted all their usual topics — classes, their teams, their last meets, their current training regimens — and are simply listening to each other breathe through the phone.  He hadn’t expected to find such a close friend in Aiichirou when they had exchanged numbers.  Though he probably should have.  They both had such big shoes to fill, such amazing captains to follow with their own captaincy, it’s not really that much of a surprise in the end.

“I just don’t know for sure,” he finds himself admitting, breaking the silence.

“About what?”

“Anything,” he says before he can talk himself out of it.  “University.  Getting a job.  Even graduating high school feels a little bit daunting right now if I’m being honest.”

Aiichirou laughs tiredly.  “I hear you on that.  I’m still not sure if I want to keep swimming competitively in university.  I love swimming but, yeah.  I just don’t know.”

It’s refreshing to hear it from someone else.  Someone who has been dealing with a lot of the same responsibilities and pressure as he has.  Trying to balance being a captain on top of school work on top of maintaining friendships.

“But,” Aiichirou interrupts his thoughts before they can wind him up they way he was before he called.  “But.  It’s okay.  Because we’ve got everyone.  And it’s okay if we don’t know what we’re doing yet so long as we keep on moving.”

Rei lets the words rattle around in his head for a few minutes, once again listening to Aiichirou breathing, before the words really sink in.

“Have you been reading Nagisa’s inspirational quote of the day texts again?”

Aiichirou laughs and starts talking about the quote Nagisa sent him last week and Rei smiles.

They’ll all figure it out in the end.  Because they’ll get there together.

+1 Haruka It’s not unusual to open Haru’s door and find all the lights out and a general feeling of almost abandoned floating through the air.  Haru has lived in the same place for years and years but it just always has a semi-permanent feel to it.  Like he’s just waiting to pack up and leave it all behind.  

Rei has never really been able to understand it.  Heck he’s lived in a dozen different places in the last five years and even the shittiest, most temporary apartment felt more lived in than Haru’s place.

Maybe it’s just the dust accumulating on every flat surface because Haru hates cleaning that gives it that feeling.  But Rei really doesn’t think that’s it.

Haru lets out a huffy little noise when Rei prods at him with his foot; he’s never understood how Haru manages to fall asleep in the middle of the floor without even a blanket or pillow.

“You know,” Rei says, “it’s okay to stay.  To make this place yours.”

“It is mine,” Haru mutters.

“Then get rid of your parents’ ugly tapestry on the wall and put up one of your paintings and stop simply existing here.”

It’s harsh, harsher than he’d usually be with any of his friends, but Haru has always brought out something in him — something a little more raw and fierce and possessive — than any of the rest of them.

Haru scoffs softly but he also reaches out and wraps a cool hand around Rei’s ankle, thumb rubbing gently over the skin, as he considers Rei’s words.

“You’re right,” Haru says eventually, voice tiny in the darkness.

“I usually am,” Rei replies.

“I don’t want to pick the painting though.”

“We’ll pick one for you.  It’s what friends are for.”

[emma-nation]

Unfinished Business - F!Sam x MC Fanfiction

Summary: When Sam Dalton is caught in a scandal, Anna Schuyler is the only one who can help her. But will her former nanny be able to leave the past behind?

"Samantha Dalton was like one of good dreams you don't want to wake up from. You close your eyes, you force your brain to remember every minor detail, you begin to imagine what comes next... hoping to be in control. You want to fall asleep again. You want it to continue, but it's too late now. You're wide awake."

Genre: Angst, Romance

Notes: Hell yeah, three ongoing multichapter fics. I'm so screwed 😎

Tag List: If you wish to be tagged in future chapters and fics of this pairing, let me know.

"I can't do this anymore, Sam," Anna did the best to avoid her eyes. With the right look, they could melt the ice that had formed around her heart for the last few weeks. One look could make things warm again, but only for some time. Time enough for her to open up and fall in love once more, immediately followed by the realization all of that was nothing more than an illusion. She'd be fooling herself again.

This time she just had enough. It was the end.

"Anna, I'm sorry," the CEO didn't know very well what to say. Despite her usual calm voice tone, Anna could sense the nervousness in her words. "But Sofia is my wife."

"And I'm only the nanny."

"This is not what I meant. We just... we allowed ourselves to get too carried away. It was good while it lasted but now, we must face reality."

It was just a dream. Samantha Dalton was like one of good dreams you don't want to wake up from. You close your eyes, you force your brain to remember every minor detail, you begin to imagine what comes next... hoping to be in control. You want to fall asleep again. You want it to continue, but it's too late now. You're wide awake.

----------

Anna collected her stuff from the desk, giving one last emotional glance to the classroom in front of her. Before leaving for Summer, her fourth grade students had prepared her a small surprise. A little party with cake, snacks and a "Thank You, Ms. Schuyler" sign hanging in the back of the room. They also drew her some cards, which she saved for when she got home. It could become very emotional for her workplace.

"Anna," the principal appeared at the door, catching her attention, "I came here to congratulate you. It was your first year as a Science teacher in our school and you captivated all the kids, as well as their parents."

"You're welcome, Mrs. Rockwell," Anna smiled. "I love working with children and now I see I made the right decision taking this job. This year was the most rewarding experience of my life."

"So we can expect you to return next year? I'm sorry, the parents keep me asking this question all the time."

"Absolutely!"

"They'll be glad to hear that. Have a nice Summer, Ms. Schuyler."

After living in New York for the last two years, Anna was finally ready to drive to her mother's home in Rhode Island. They both had saved enough money for a road trip across the country. Her mom deserved to live that dream after caring for her ill step-dad for some long months, until his recovery.

When she arrived at her apartment, her best friend, Jenny, was still at work. What meant she'd have enough time to finish packing without having to stop to hear the latest gossip about the company she worked for, or unsolicited dating advice.

"But first," Anna pulled the small pile of cards from inside her purse, "let me cry my eyeballs out."

And she did. She learned how to love and connect to each one of her students. Those cards need to be kept in a special place, where she'd always be able to read them and remember the sweet moments she shared with those children.

Grabbing a box in her closet, Anna accidentally came across a picture of the Dalton twins. She didn't even remember where she had placed it, when she was getting rid of everything related to that family. All she wanted was to keep those boys' memory out of sight. She missed them too much for words. They were the reason why she accepted that job as a teacher in first place.

"I wonder how different they must look now," she thought. "They're already nine."

With a tightness in her chest, Anna placed the picture back in its secret spot.

"I still can't believe you're really going!" Later that evening, Jenny complained in the living room, where she divided her attention between painting her nails and watch TV.

"Well, it's time for you to come with terms with that. I'm only returning by the end of Summer," Anna responded from the kitchen, while she finished washing the dishes.

"Anna, we could have the Summer of our lives. Think about all the hot men and women you could meet, all the parties we could attend..."

"I promised my mom, okay? We've been planning this trip since I finished college."

Jenny was suddenly teleported back to her side, wrapping her arms around her like a clingy teddy bear.

"But I'm gonna miss you," she spoke with a mournful voice.

"I'll miss you too," Anna assured her. "I'll keep you updated on every detail. Don't worry."

"I know your mom is going with you but... Anna, it's time for you to find someone. Even if it's only a one night stand."

"This is not the main purpose of this trip. This isn't about my sex life, I want my mom to relax."

"It has been two years, for god's sake."

"I know. And I'm glad I've set my priorities straight, I live with my best friend in a nice apartment, I got this amazing job and I love my students. I don't need anyone else in my life to be happy. I am happy."

Jenny rolled her eyes, crawling back to the couch. She should know it was useless to bring up this subject. Anna's heart was indefinitely closed for balance. If that was one thing she learned from her last experience was that shouldn't open up so easily.

"Shut the hell up!"

Jenny yelling so loud in the living room, made Anna almost drop the plate she was holding.

"You need to come here right now and watch this," she added.

"I'm sorry, Jenny. You're not getting me into that steamy TV show you're always obsessing about."

"It's a really good TV show, okay? But it doesn't matter at the moment. You need to watch the latest news!"

Jenny was actually watching the news. Nothing good could've happened to spark that sudden interest. That had to be something stupid or celebrity gossip. Against her best judgment, Anna approached the TV.

"If that's something silly, I'll kill you for interrupting my tasks!" Anna's mouth suddenly dropped when she read the headline on her screen. "Oh."

"Dalton Enterprises Scandal: CEO Sam Dalton accused of insider trading."

Images of police officers closing the company and carrying out boxes and computers for further investigation appeared on the screen. As well as Sam being conducted to the officer's car while journalists and photographers chased after her.

"Karma's a bitch, huh?! Mrs. Perfect is going down!"

Anna didn't answer to her best friend. She was still trying to process what her eyes were watching. Her heart seemed to stop for a second as the camera focused on Sam's face. In just a few seconds, her eyes had the desperate need to capture every detail. She wanted to know if she looked any different, if she had changed her hair or even her clothes. She wanted to know if some make-up was trying to hide the bags under her eyes for lack of sleep, or if she had been so happy with her marriage she was appearing even younger. Any minor signs that would make her mind create a possible scenario of what Sam's life could be right now.

She hadn't seen or heard of Samantha since quitting her nanny job. Though it was difficult, she managed to avoid any news related to the Dalton Enterprises CEO. They didn't part in good terms, yet one thing she was sure about, Sam was a decent person. She would never get involved in such a scandal. She had a reputation to keep.

"I... I don't know what to say," Anna was finally able to mumble some words. "Honestly I don't think she'd do that. There must be a misunderstanding."

"Anna! Are you seriously defending her?! After everything she's done to you?"

"No. I just..." Two years had passed since the wedding. Anna realized a lot could've changed. Sam could've changed. She had changed. "Maybe you're right."

As she lied in bed, millions of thoughts started running through her mind. What would be of the boys? Who would have their custody in case Sam went to jail, her parents or Sofia? Could Sofia or Robin have any involvement in that scandal?

Anna didn't get any sleep that night. When she woke up in the morning she was still exhausted.

The apartment was silent and peaceful. Jenny had already left to work. She was alone. No one would witness or even judge her next action. After preparing herself some coffee she sat down and started to research more about the insider trading scandal.

"I'm not interested, only curious," she mentally assured herself as thousands of articles started showing on her laptop screen.

Not only Sam was being accused to cheat on Sofia with another woman, but she tried to cover up the affair by giving her mistress a check to purchase Dalton Enterprises stocks. The launch of a new and revolutionary product in the coming weeks would surely grant her some cash. In the following days of the launch, the woman and her husband made millions of dollars.

"What have you gotten yourself into, Sam?"

The trials were scheduled for the next few weeks, and in case of conviction, the CEO could spend over 20 years in prison.

Only a couple of days later, Anna was in the garage placing all her luggage inside the trunk. She had to leave immediately, for her own sanity. The scandal was a great reason to stay away from New York City. The television wouldn't stop talking about that subject, or show the face of the woman she once loved.

"Dammit," entering the car, Anna noticed she had forgotten her cell phone upstairs. The latest events had impacted her more than they should. She was constantly distracted and anxious, secretly following the last developments of the case.

She picked up her phone, returned to the car and turned on the radio. Playing some loud music always helped her to relax. The crowded streets and the buildings slowly started to stay behind as the road approached.

"And I'm here, to remind you of the mess you left..."

Anna sang aloud, completely involved by the song. And then, her eyes almost missed it. Through the rearview mirror she saw a blur moving on the back seat.

"What the..." she needed to remain calm and act cautiously. The roads were impressively calm and deserted, a perfect scenario for murder, like in every horror movie. She slowly slipped her hand into her purse, grabbing the pepper spray. "I'm not one of those chicks who die so easily."

In one sudden fast move, she stomped on the breaks and turned around, spraying whoever was hiding behind her seat.

"Anna!" She was able to take a better look. The figure was wearing a hoodie and sunglasses. "Stop, please!"

She was able to recognize that voice even among millions of people. The years hadn't erased it from her memories.

"S-Sam..." Anna pulled the disguise, confirming her suspicions, "what are doing here? In my back seat?"

"I can explain."

"You better."

She returned to the driver's seat, attempting to relax. Samantha Dalton was inside her car, for some very screwed up reason.

"I know it's strange," and now she had moved to the passenger seat, being at a short distance from her. Close enough to notice how her presence was making her nervous. Close enough to notice she wasn't breathing. Close enough to see her hands shaking. "But I needed you to hear me."

"You could've called, Samantha. Or even showed up at my door! You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"You wouldn't answer. Would you?"

And that was it. One look and all the walls melted away. Her heart started beating faster, reminding her of the moments they shared two years before.

"No," Anna answered, fighting those feelings. "I wouldn't."

"I need your help, Anna," Sam touched her arm briefly, but enough to know she'd cause impact. "I'm in serious trouble and you're the only one that can help me."

[softboywriting]

Christmas Lights | Peter Mendes | Mendes Triplets AU

Summary: Taking a chance on Peter Mendes may be the best thing you do this Christmas. [fluff] [triplet au] [college au]

Word Count: 4k

|Masterlist In Bio|

Making friends on campus is hard when you don't know a single soul in the town you've moved to. St. Augusta college has the exact major program you've been looking to get into. You spent two years back home at your community college doing your prerequisites since it was far cheaper than doing four to six years at St. Augusta. The only downside to college in a small town is that everyone seems to know each other and they aren't really looking for new friends.

Christmas is approaching and you've been planning on going home for the holidays but you can't exactly leave your cat alone in your apartment for a few days. Bugs is not exactly one for traveling either, so a three hour car ride home would be absolute hell. You decide to stay, to wish your family Merry Christmas via video chat and open presents with them that way. Well. That's the plan anyway.  

Thursday, four days before Christmas, you win tickets to go see the light display at the park in town. It's a huge event and people come from all over to see it. You honestly didn't think you would win and you only entered because you figured it would be something fun to do other than sit around your apartment and watch Netflix.

When you pick up the tickets at the administration office you find out that it's a pair of them. Wonderful. You've got no one to go with. For a moment you wonder if you should just give them back, to have the secretary redraw the winner. Surely a couple would love these. You know if you were still with your ex boyfriend you'd love to. No. You'll find someone to go with.

So the hunt for a companion begins. You text the girl you talk to in your psychology class, having her number from a project you worked on together a few weeks ago. She's got plans. You text your friend Amie back home to see if she wants to drive up for the weekend and hang out. Nope. Her car is broken down. Just when things look bleak you remember the community board in the courtyard of your apartment complex. There were always postings on there for lost dogs, tutoring, and private classes of all sorts. Why not just see if someone wants to go with you?

You get back to your place and take a seat at the computer. Bugs jumps up on your lap and headbutts your stomach. "You wanna go with me Bugs?"

He meows.

"Yeah I didn't think so. I'd probably look like a freak walking my cat on a leash."

He purrs, flopping over on his side and covering your legs.

You open up a blank document and sigh. Alright. This may be a new low for you, but hey, maybe you'll make a really good friend. You type up the flyer and even add a few clip arts of Christmas lights along the bottom. It has your school email address on it in case anyone wants to contact you. You were going to put your number on there but thought better of it. You don't want some douchebag sending you nudes or something.

One brisk sprint to the community board outside later and you've got it posted. Now you wait. If no one replies then you'll go alone and give your spare ticket to some kid in line at the display. Here goes nothing.

____________________

Saturday morning you wake up with you phone blinking with a notification. You grab it and slide up to unlock. It's your email. Your school email. A surge of excitement courses through you and you're hoping someone has replied to your bulletin.

You open the app and flip through some emails from your teachers about assignments due after the holiday break. Sure enough there is one that's from a student. You can tell because it doesn't have a name attached as a contact like the staff emails do. It just says unread from pmend2580@staug.edu.

Hi, I'm Peter. I saw your post on the community board. If you're still interested I would like to go.

You chew on your lower lip, nervous about going. What if this guy is a creep? You can bring your pepper spray. Maybe you can assess him by showing up early to the community board and seeing if he looks like a weirdo. Not all creeps look like a creep though. Okay. You're not being fair. Not all guys are bad, besides if you don't reply to the email, he probably won't show up right? He'll just think you've found another companion.

All day you contemplate emailing Peter back. Do you want to go with a guy? Maybe you should wait and see if a girl wants to go. But then again, you didn't specify your gender on the posting. So he doesn't even know if you're a guy or girl. Well that changes things. You're gonna do it.

Around dinner time you email Peter back. You tell him to meet you at the board on Christmas Eve around six and that you're going to be wearing a white coat. You still don't reveal your gender, just in case. _____________________

The time has come. You put on your puffy white coat, boots and a pair of gloves. You give Bugs some kibble and head out to the community board in the courtyard. There aren't very many people out there, a few groups of people talking near the decorated trees at every corner of the yard. There is no one by the board and you're kind of disappointed but relieved. Maybe he would flake out.

"Hey, are you the one with the tickets?"

You turn and you're met with a guy quite a bit taller than you. He's got a mop of curly brown hair, flushed cheeks covered in freckles and greenish hazel eyes behind some cute round glasses. He's in a bulky pink hoodie with a jean jacket over it just like he said he would be. He looks familiar, you're pretty sure he's in one of your classes.

"Peter?"

"That's me." He pulls his hand from his hoodie pocket and you shake it. "I'm so glad you replied back. I really want to see the lights, I just don't have the extra cash for a ticket this year."

You smile big and he grins right back. "I'm glad you replied too. I didn't really want to go alone."

"Then why'd you buy the tickets?"

"I didn't. I won them."

"Oh! Gotcha. Well, let's go? We don't want to miss it."

"Right. Do you want to walk or..." You look over at your car in the lot and wonder how much gas you have.

Peter shrugs. "It's a short walk. Like twenty minutes tops?"

"Probably, and I wore my boots." You look down at your old black snow boots. "They're pretty comfortable for walking."

"Let's get to it then!" Peter says excitedly, patting your shoulder. "No time to waste."

_____________________

The walk to the park proves very interesting. You learn that Peter is studying to be a photographer and does photos for the school newspaper while also doing some freelance work on the side for a couple of students with blogs. Both of you love hot chocolate with cinnamon in it. You both love the color pink, and you both have cats. His is a girl named Peach after Princess Peach from Super Mario. He is also in your business management class, and you can't believe you didn't pay more attention to him. He's so cute.

When you get to the park you show your tickets at the booth and they let you skip the line to get in. Once inside you can't believe how much it has changed since you visited once as a kid. There is a ten foot tall reindeer, life-size snowmen with tophats, and a small replica of the eiffel tower that's all lit up with tiny star shaped lights and a big star on top. It's incredible.

Peter tugs your arm and you follow him over to where an old woman dressed as Mrs. Claus is handing out flyers. "We have to do the scavenger hunt."

"The what?"

"Hello! Join the scavenger for a special surprise at the end of tour of lights!" Mrs. Claus says, handing a flyer to you and a few kids who are nearby.

You look over the list. "Find Santa's belt, Rudolf's nose, the elves stockings, Mrs. Claus's glasses, and the magic Christmas bell. Take a photo with each object and show at the end of the tour for a special Christmas surprise."

Peter takes the list and looks like a kid in a candy store. "They changed it up this year. This is going to be so much fun."

You can't help but smile. Peter has turned out to be the best companion you could have hoped for so far. "What is the prize at the end?"

Peter looks up from the list. "No clue. It changes every year. Last year I got a stocking."

"Oh that's actually kind of cool. I figured it'd just be like one of those big candy cane sticks or something."

"Nah, they go all out." Peter looks around the park. "We should start the hunt, we don't want to be the last ones to find everything."

"Why not?"

"They could run out of prizes for the night. Plus, I want to stop by the elves workshop and get some hot cocoa." Peter puts his arm out and you take it, looping yours under his. "Let's do this thing."

_____________________

The scavenger hunt is a blast. You and Peter literally comb through every display trying to find the items on the list. So far you have found the elves stockings and Mrs. Claus's glasses. Rudolph's nose is your next target as you head for the sleigh display.

Just as you reach the sleigh you see the last person you ever expected to see. Your ex boyfriend Blaine. He's got his latest fling on his arm, some tiny little thing with dark hair. Honestly you have no idea why he ever dated you. Every girl he's dated since you, there's been five in the last nine months, has been your polar opposite. You're not sure if it's him trying to not think of you or if it's that those girls are his type and you just weren't.

"Can we look for Santa's belt?" You ask, stopping mid stride and Peter looks back, clearly confused.

"We're right here though?"

"I know...I just don't want to do this one yet."

Peter walks back to meet you and crosses his arms. "You're avoiding someone."

"What? No, I-"

"Oh come on. Who is it? Family? Ex best friend? Ex boyfriend?" He looks around at the people nearby.

You sigh and roll your eyes. "It's my ex boyfriend if you must know. I'm surprised he's here considering our hometown is three hours away."

"Oh, dramatic." Peter puts his arm around your shoulders. "Which one is he?"

"The guy over there with the Steelers hat on with the girl attached to his arm." You point out Blaine, clear as day.

Peter nods and pushes his glasses up. "He looks like a douchebag."

"He is."

"Why'd you date him?"

"Small town? He was the best I could get?"

"Ouch." Peter laughs. "Well, you wanna make him jealous? I can be your pretend boyfriend for a while."

You look Peter over and he holds his arms out. "You are way more handsome, and you're definitely bigger." You chew on your lower lip. "I do want to get back at him."

"I'm all yours." Peter laughs. "Sounds like he really hurt you. I'm all about getting back at a douchebag."

"Alright. Yeah. Why not?"

Peter wraps his arms around you and walks you toward the sleigh display. He grabs your gloved hands and holds them close to your chest. It's actually nice. You haven't been held since you were with Blaine.

"There's Rudolf!" You point to the front of the light display and sure enough it's Rudolph but his nose isn't lit up.

Peter pulls you toward a big present box nearby. It's got a lid like a chest. He lifts it up and you grab the huge pom pom like ball out of it. Rudolph's nose.

"Wanna pose for a picture together?"

"Yes." You pull out your phone and hold it out while Peter leans down behind you, both of you holding the pom pom as you make goofy face and snap the picture.

"Oh hey," Blaine says as he approached with his girlfriend. "Crazy seeing you here."

Peter wraps his arm around you and holds you against him, pressing his face into your hair. "Do we know you?" What a power move.

"Crazy? I go to school here." You roll your eyes.

"This is your ex?" Peter asks, as if you hadn't already told him. He's playing along very well.

"Yes." You lean your head back against Peter's chest. "Why are you here Blaine?"

"Date night." Blaine grins, kissing his girlfriend grossly and for way too long. "It's so romantic here, and Christmas Eve is the perfect time to see a light display. I couldn't imagine bringing my beautiful girl anywhere else."

Peter rubs your side obviously reading into how tense you've gotten with Blaine's asshole demeanor. "Isn't it the best? I brought her here for our six month anniversary." He looks over at you with a smile, having really put emphasis on six months and you bite your lip. "We're going to dinner afterwards, the steakhouse on tenth street. They do a Christmas Eve special for couples. Reservation only."

Blaine looks annoyed, and one upped. Which, honestly he has been because Peter is really selling the lie. "Funny, we were gonna do that too. Guess we'll see you there."

"Really?" Peter grins. "Because the only restaurant on tenth street is a McDonald's. Get over yourself and stop being a dick in front of your ex."

Your jaw drops and Peter threads his fingers between yours. He walks you away from Blaine and you can't help but let out a laugh in astonishment. Peter just destroyed him in a matter of seconds like it was nothing.

"I can't believe you did that," you say, looking back at Blaine and his girlfriend who's yelling at him about something. Probably for embarrassing her.

"Yeah, well, he was being a dick. You could tell he was trying to rub in that he was on a date with someone who wasn't you. I can't stand guys like that."

You lean your head against Peter's arm. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that, I could have just walked away."

"What kind of fake boyfriend would I be if I didn't defend my fake girlfriend?" He laughs and you laugh too. What a crazy night it's been.

_____________________

You and Peter finish the scavenger hunt and go to the prize booth to show your photos. The worker hands you both a lidded box that's wrapped up like a present and you step aside to open it and see what you got.

"Fuzzy socks!" You squeal, holding up a pair of fluffy candy cane striped socks.  "These are awesome!"

Peter opens his box and he's got a pair to but they're green and red. "I'm not sure these will fit me, but you can have them." He looks down and sticks his tennis show clad foot out. "Maybe they will?"

"You'll have to see." You turn in your gift box at the little drop off bin for people who don't want to take it with them. "I suppose it's time to go back home now."

"Yeah." Peter pushes his glasses up. "I had a great time. Thanks for letting me go with you."

You chuckle. "I almost went alone. I didn't know if you were some creep or not. I'm glad I did email you back though. You're pretty cool."

"You are too. And I promise I'm not a creep." Peter crosses his fingers. "Swear I'm normal."

"You're a goof."

"Yep. That's me." He loops his arm under yours and the two of you head for the apartment complex. You really are glad you decided to say yes to him. This night was incredible, even though you saw Blaine, it was still great.

_____________________

"Any plans for Christmas?" Peter asks as the two of you stand outside the front door to your building.

"Nope. Just me and Bugs video chatting my parents some time in the afternoon. They've sent me a few gifts in the mail so I've got some stuff to open."

Peter runs a hand over his hair and bites his lip. "Well, if you wanted to, my brothers and I are making breakfast and stuff. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I brought a guest over."

"Do your brothers live with you?"

"Yeah," he turns and points at the building to the left of yours. "We share one of the penthouse apartments."

"Fancy." You raise your eyebrows. "Those things are like super expensive."

Peter smiles sheepishly. "They are, but all three of us have full ride scholarships and Raul got a massive grant. We all pay our part from our grants pretty much but Raul pays a little more since he wanted the big apartment."

"Ah, I see. Well...can I get your number? I'll text you if I am able to make it?"

Peter pulls out his phone. "Of course."

The two of you exchange numbers and say your goodbyes. You head up to your apartment, smiling to yourself. Peter is kind of awesome. You finally feel like you've made a friend. Christmas miracles do exist.  

_____________________

Christmas morning. It's snowing heavily when you wake up. Bugs is on your head, asleep against your hair. Your phone lays on the pillow beside you, notification light glowing. You grab it and turn it on, seeing two messages. One from your mom saying Merry Christmas and one from Peter telling you their building security code and there is a photo attached.  

You open the photo and it's him in a Santa hat and the ugliest sweater you've ever seen. In the background there is another guy, his brother you assume, and he looks super similar. Maybe Peter was a twin. You reply back with a photo of Bugs in his little Christmas sweater you had put on him last night.

After a call with your mom and dad, making plans to video chat around one in the afternoon, you decide to go over to Peter's apartment. He's been sending you photos all morning of the food and you just can't resist. He's such a dork but he's so genuinely cute.

You bundle up and cross the courtyard to head to his building. Peter meets you at the front door and you laugh at his reindeer print pants. "You didn't have to come all the way down here."

"Yeah, I did." He chuckles as you walk down the entry hall. "I sort of forgot to mention something."

"Uh oh. What?" You stop short of the elevator doors. "Is there where you tell me you're a crazy psychopath and you're gonna eat me?"

"No!" Peter's face goes white but he quickly realized you're joking. "No, no no no. Okay that sounded bad. Okay no, I just forgot to tell you about my brothers."

"What? Yes you did, you said they live with you?"

"Not that. I mean, we're triplets."

"Oh!" You laugh. "That makes sense."

"What?"

"Well, in your photo of your Santa hat I saw one of your brothers in the back ground and I thought he looked super similar to you."

"Oh. Yeah, that was probably Shawn. We look the most alike." Peter pulls out his keycard to the elevator and swipes it to go up. "Raul still looks like us, but his hair is darker and he's got a little bit more angular of a face. Anyway, they're really excited to meet you."

"Why's that?"

Peter rubs his neck and blushes. "I don't bring a lot of guests over."

"Like just female guests or?"

"Any really. My brother's always tell me I'm antisocial. Whatever."

You step out of the elevator and Peter heads to the left. "I wouldn't have guessed you're antisocial. You're pretty talkative with me. You told me about so much yesterday."

"Yeah well, you're easy to talk to." Peter pushes open the door to the apartment. "And-"

"Damn Peter!" One of the brothers says as you walk in. "How'd you manage to get the balls to talk to her?"

"Shut up Raul," Peter says, throwing a pillow at him from a nearby sofa.

Raul stands and walks over to you. "I'm Raul. His older brother."

Peter rolls his eyes. "By minutes."

"Every second counts." Raul smirks and shakes your hand. "Merry Christmas, welcome to our shithole."

"Raul!"

You stifle a laugh. "Merry Christmas to you too. I was told there would be breakfast?"

"Just missed it. I ate it all." Raul says with a shrug and a tummy pat. "Christmas morning munchies."

"Oh shut up," Peter says and motions for you to follow him to the kitchen. You do and Raul flops down on the sofa laughing at his own dumb joke. "Shawn, this is the girl I told you about." He introduces you and you shake Shawn's flour covered hand.

"Hey, welcome. We've got a ton of food, please eat. It's just us." Shawn says, gesturing to the counter with plates of pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon.

Peter hands you a plate from the cupboard. "Don't be shy okay? I promise none of us will judge you for eating a bunch or something."

You take the plate and grab some of everything. "Don't worry, I'm starving so I won't be shy."

_____________________

Post breakfast the guys open gifts. There are quite a few under the tree and you're surprised to find there are three for you. Considering you just met Peter yesterday and the other two today, it's a shocker. How could they even know what to get you?

"How...how do I have gifts?" You laugh as Peter plops a small red box in your lap.

"Well, last night I went out and got some stuff in case you did decide to come over. I really hoped you would, and I didn't want you to feel left out."

"That's so sweet." You lift the lid and inside is a little bag of cat toys and treats. "For Bugs!"

Raul chuckles and hands you another box. "Open this one."

You tear open the small box and inside is a hot cocoa mix in a mug that says Meowy Clawsmas. All of you have a good laugh at that.

Peter hands you the last box and he's flushed.  You give him a look and open it. Inside is a flat small envelope. "What is this?"

"Just open it," Peter says.

You tear open the little seal and inside are two printed tickets to the ice rink downtown. "Ice skating?"

"I think Peter is asking you on a date," Shawn says from where he's cleaning up wrapping paper on the couch.

You flush, warmth spreading across your cheeks. "You want to go out with me?"

"Y-yeah. The light display was so much fun I thought maybe... y'know, we could do something like that again." Peter pushes his glasses up and clears his throat. "It doesn't have to be a date. We can just go as friends, or if you want to go with someone else that's okay."

"Peter."

"Yeah?"

"I'd love to go out with you." You lean forward and give him a hug. He seemingly melts into you, big hands coming up and resting on your back. "Relax."

Raul and Shawn let out a little chorus of awes.

"Thanks for not making Christmas suck this year." You laugh, pulling back and pushing Peter's hair out of his face. "I'm glad I took a chance and invited you to the light display."

"Me too. Merry Christmas," he says with a smile and you smile back.

"Merry Christmas."

_________________________

Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed this and reblog to support and encourage myself and fellow writers. Next part coming soon! - A

Custom header per part made by the incredible delicateshawn

*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted fics.*****

[whathappenedtomyweekend]

It’s Just A Spark Ch. 9 - Night Shifts

Gobber couldn't believe his eyes. What had originally started as a casual glance out the window had spiralled and now consisted of him staring down at the sight on the street in front of the fire department in parts fascination and parts complete and utter disbelief.

There he was, his colleague who might as well be his own son, the boy with the gapped front teeth and the scraped knees, the young man who was so busy reading that he forgot to eat sometimes, and the man who had told him, only a few months ago, that if his fate was to become an old cat lady it would be fine with him - beaming at the young woman facing him. She had blonde hair, tied up to a ponytail and was dressed, similarily to him, in sports clothes. They were still talking as they came to a halt in front of the building, both smiling at each other.

And of course, Gobber knew that this was Astrid Hofferson.

He watched Hiccup - Hiccup - grin down at her and gently press his lips to her cheeck (Gobber almost had a heart attack), then shortly hug her and turn around to walk up to the building, still grinning from ear to ear.

Well. Gobber remembered the first time the young woman had set her stove on fire. He remembered the exact expression Hiccup had had on his face and the way his eyes were flickering to the side when he'd mumbled something about his ears only being "this red, Gobber, because we were just near a fire, it was hot in there" after they had already been outside again for at least five minutes.

Gobber tried to act normal as the door opened and closed with a click.

"Morning!"

"Well, well, well, look who finally decided to show up to work!"

Hiccup placed his phone and headphones onto his desk, ducking away from Gobber's prosthetic arm.

"Sorry, I got held up."

"Yeah, I could see you getting held up alright - in the arms of a certain young blonde, I believe?"

He watched Hiccup's cheek flush and laughed, giving him an enthusiastic pat on the back.

"Was about time, boy! You were one arm and three cats away from becoming me."

Hiccup snorted, "Yeah, right. Don't think having a girlfried will deter me from adapting that lifestyle."

There were not many things you could get past Gobber without noticing. And words, no matter how fast- or low-spoken were definitely not on that list.

"Girlfriend now, eh?"

"I, uh - I mean - oh, man."

Hiccup looked at him, a bewildered expression on his face as if he'd only realised this for himself just now, his hands already flying up to his hair.

"Ooh my God, Gobber, she's my girlfriend. She's my girlfriend," he repeated as if this alone had been something he had never thought to actually be possible.

"Oh, boy," the older man chuckled upon seeing Hiccup's disbelief change to surprise to complete and utter joy.

"Astrid. Hofferson. Is. My girlfriend."

"Yeah, how'd you do that? I'm surprised you're able to hold up a conversation with that vocabulary you've got yourself, boy."

Hiccup had not really thought about this earlier when Astrid had accompanied him back to work instead of his apartment, but now, standing in front of his locker next to the bathroom, his only options for the monthly meeting with the mayor and comissioners a crumpled-up old shirt with Toothless' handiwork at the hem and gym shorts, he regretted not having stopped by at his apartment prior to this.

The young man uttered a curse on his breath but knew he didn't really have time to explore any further options.

So he quickly grabbed the shirt, returned to the bathroom and pulled it over his head, stepped out of his towel and put the remaining clothes on.

He couldn't wait until this day was over. The morning run had energised him, but a nine-hour response-shift ahead and a two-hour meeting were already pretty high on the list of things that would use up that energy.

Thinking about said run - or rather, its aftermath- , however, sent his heart spiralling and made him grin at his reflection in the department's bathroom mirror.

She'd said yes. To being his girlfriend, essentially. Or had she? Had she misunderstood him and had only agreed to an extended status of "just dating"?

Oh, God. Suddenly Hiccup didn't feel all that confident anymore.

"Okay," He leaned on the edges on the sink and stared at his ruffled, still wet-haired reflection. "Stop it. Get it together. Just ask her tomorrow, just to clarify."

Yes. Just to make sure they were on the same page.

His thoughts went - in an effort to take his mind off the question of their 'status' - over the preparations left to be made for their date. He'd have to sweep the flat over before 15:30, and clean the bathroom thoroughly. Also maybe dust off the shelves. Get something to wear - oh, no. He remembered his last confrontationnwith his wardrobe situatuon.

This was their fifth date.

He was out of shirts.

Shit.

"Hey, Gobber, you ready to-" Hiccup broke off when he saw Snotlout at his desk, waving at him.

"Yo."

Hiccup stepped in further, furrowung his brows in confusion.

"Where's Gobber?"

"Went to get lunch."

"What? The meeting's in five minutes, and we're already running late! When did he leave? Did he say anything about when-"

"Woah, take it easy, cuz," his cousin interrupted him lightly and spun his chair around. "Gobber's been late to these meetings since they exist."

Hiccup exhaled and chuckled, sitting down next to the dark-haired man.

"Okay, true. How's your morning been?"

"It was okay. Pretty chill. I took Hooky out for our morning walk - did you know Fish is out of town?"

Hiccup's head perked up. "He is?"

"Yeah, the café's all closed up."

"Huh. No, he didn't mention," Hiccup leaned on his desk and squinted his eyes at his cousin. "He usually always lets us know."

"Maybe something urgent came up and he's not ready to talk about it yet?" Snotlout wondered aloud and leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. "I hope he comes back soon, I could kill for a plate of his waffles."

Hiccup smirked. "He'd kiss you again if you told him that in person."

He knew his cousin would never admit it if he asked, but it was quite obvious, even to Hiccup. Snotlout himself blushed, grumbling,

"It happened once, okay? And it obviously didn't mean anything to him, since he never brought it up again. SO," he pushed himself back and reached for his water bottle, fiddling with the lid with some degree of suppressed fury. "I'm not going to either."

"Alright, sorry."

His cousin sighed, his mood lightening up again. "It's okay. Just don't … tell him."

"You have my word."

"Speaking of which, you finished up those reports from last night?"

Hiccup chuckled. "Yup. I'm back on track." His cousin smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Despite being 'busy'?"

"Shut up."

He laughed. "Come on, nobody ever tells me anything anymore."

"Good," Hiccup shot back indignantly but grinned. "I'm not really keen on all of Berk knowing about it."

"So what's 'it'?"

"Honestly? You think I'm that unattentive?"

"When you're drawing, yeah."

Something about the smirk that was plastered on his cousin's lips seemed fishy to Hiccup. He did not like this grin.

"Scott," he drawled. "What did you do?"

His cousin's grin widened. "Oh, I did nothing. I just *sat* there. Listen, all I'm sayin' is, that maybe you should pay more attention to who else is in the room in the evening."

Hiccup blushed immediately as he remembered being in the common room in the evening, reading until he had absentmindedly started sketching - a pair of eyes, grey on paper but blue in memory, lips, just slightly parted, outlines of a face - "Oh, God," he spluttered. "I - it wasn't - I mean."

Snotlout laughed and nudged his cousin's shoulder. "Hey, I'm not judging."

He offered Hiccup an amicable smile and grinned when his cousin slumped his shoulders and returned the smile.

Who'd have thought? Seven years ago he'd have never even dreamed of sharing the same job with Hiccup and spending most of their shifts together, let alone having normal, amiable conversations and sharing jokes.

Gobber's voice from outside interrupted the dark-haired man's thoughts.

"Come on, Hiccup, we're gonna be late!" Gobber suddenly shouted from the hall, making Snotlout laugh and offer Hiccup a fistbump.

"Alright, I'm coming, just - stay where you are!" Hiccup shouted back rolled his eyes at his cousin, who only grinned and shrugged.

"Alright, I think we're done here, everyone. Dismissed," Stoick Haddock concluded and closed his folder, nodding at the men seated around him.

Hiccup sighed inwardly. The monthly check-in was something that had to be done, he knew that, but these meetings could be both lengthy and boring.

He'd tried to excuse his attire and had only got a few amused looks and some raised eyebrows; 'Could've been worse,' Hiccup thought and got up. At the sight of his father gathering up his files he remembered his post-meeting-agenda and quickly tapped his father's shoulder, lowly asking, "Dad, can I … talk to you for a sec?"

"Of course," Stoick nodded at the other men and led his son off to the side. "Excuse us."

His eyes met Hiccup's expression. The young man leaned in and murmured, "Hey, Dad, listen, um. I need you to do me a favour, please."

His father raised his eyebrows but Hiccup didn't fail to notice the faint smile playing on his lips. He sighed and inhaled deeply, shortly raking a hand through his hair.

"Oh man, I can't believe I'm actually saying this - Dad, I need a shirt."

"You need a … a what?"

His father looked at him, speechless. Hiccup nodded sharply and elaborated, "Yes, a shirt. Any colour, I just need - listen, Dad, Astrid is coming over tomorrow and I've run out of shirts, and I can't just wear the same over and over again, so - please. I just need a shirt or two, button up or down, you decide, I'm desperate."

To his suprise and utter mortification, his father let out a whoop of laughter, starting him and the other men in the room.

"She's really got you bedazzled, aye, son?"

"I - what?"

"I thought I'd never see the day you'd ask me to help you with your shopping!" his father bellowed, still laughing. "Oh, this is great, son, I've been waiting for this my whole life-"

"Dad, don't you think you're … overreacting, a bit-"

"-and I will not waste this opportunity. Consider your wardrobe situation saved."

With this he strode past him, muttering something about "my boy's finally getting his life together" and "wrapped around his finger, completely head over heels", leaving an abashed Hiccup and chuckling collegues behind.

"Well, you did it," Gobber laughed and patted his back, making Hiccup stumble forward involuntarily. "he will not rest until he's got you a month's worth of clothing."

Hiccup groaned. "What have I done, Gobber?"

"Made him the most excited I've seen him in years, you did," Gobber smiled, his expression gentle now. "Come on, let's get back to the department, lover-boy."

"Please don't call me that."

"Romeo?"

"Tragic death and stupid as fuck."

"That a yes?"

"No."

It hit Hiccup like a bolt of lightning. He'd forgotten to fill up Toothless' bowl when he'd left the house this afternoon.

"Shit. Shitshitshitshit," he spat through gritted teeth as he frantically searched for options. He couldn't leave the department now, he was the only one in.

Okay. What else? Call someone. It was at times like these Hiccup wished his entire support system wasn't built on people working in the administrative departments.

And Fishlegs was out of the city.

Then it dawned on him. The only person he could hope to be home.

His hands had already picked up his phone and clicked on the number.

"Hiccup?"

He exhaled. "Oh, thank God. Astrid, do you - do you have time? Are you at home?"

Her answer was hard to make out over the background-voices and music.

"I'm on my shift, why?"

His heart sunk.

"Okay, nevermind then-"

"Hiccup? Hello - hang on, I'll go outside, just give me one sec."

The noise faded.

Her voice got clearer as she grumbled, "You'd think people'd wait for a Friday 'til they hit the bar."

He chuckled. "I'd honestly love to be somewhere else right now, so I can't blame them."

Astrid snorted and finally there was nothing blocking out her voice anymore. "Trust me, you don't wanna be here. Anyways, what's up? Something wrong? You never call this late."

"Oh - yeah, I actually … Astrid, can you do me a favour?"

She didn't even hesitate and her answer let a wave of warmth and affection wash over him.

"What do you need and where should I be?"

"At my apartment. Or rather, first here and then my apartment."

Astrid furrowed her brow, for a second asking herself if this was some kind of disguise for something else but quickly discarded that thought as Hiccup continued quickly, "I forgot to feed Toothless when I left today and I locked everything, so he can't go out to hunt. Could you pick up my keys and feed him, please?"

She hummed. "Yeah, of course."

Hiccup sighed and smiled. "Thanks, I really owe you one."

Astrid laughed breezily and was apparently making her way back inside. From what he could hear, Pink's 'Raise your glass' was playing and people were screaming.

"No problem," he heard her say over them. "I'll think of something."

He chuckled and leaned on his desk.

"You have until tomorrow."

"Oh, so now there's a deadline for favours?"

"Only for that one."

She laughed again. "Well, maybe it's a project that can't be done overnight."

"Am I still talking to Astrid or Ms Hofferson who just pulled the ultimate teacher-joke on me?"

"Both. Hang on a second."

The sound was muffled since she seemed to be pressing the microphone against herself to block out the sound, but he still heard her distinct voice shout, "Heath, can you tell Al I'm taking my break? Be back in 45."

Another voice answered, loud but friendly, "Sure, don't worry. Gotcha, Stellar!"

Stellar?

The sound was back in its full intensity and so was her voice.

"Alright, I'm heading out. Be there in ten."

"Okay. See you."

Astrid smiled up at the sky. "You know, this isn't even a favour I'm doing you. You're doing me one."

Although she had called it multiple times, Astrid had never been inside the fire department of Berk before.

It looked a bit intimidating in the dark, and she only saw one big window with lights on inside. She squinted her eyes up and into the darkness and registered movement.

A slim figure approached the window, waving at her, chasing a smile across her lips as she waved back. Hiccup's sillhouette disappeared.

Astrid herself made her way into the building and up the staircase to the second floor, where she was greeted by a dark hallway.

A door was pried open, a small ray of light emitting from the crack.

"Astrid?" His face was stuck out of the open door.

"Hiccup? Why's it so dark in here?"

"We're saving up energy."

He was leaning out of the door, supporting his weight by the frame.

Astrid smirked and came to a halt in front of him. He didn't move, just stayed with his eyes fixed on her.

The young woman felt a weird sensation rushing through her stomach as she remembered her dream from a couple of nights ago, which had started just like this, opening a door and -

"You wanna come in for a sec?" he asked and interrupted her thoughts.

Astrid nodded, smiling. "Let's make the workplace situation even."

He laughed and led her inside. The building itself wasn't that big, but the headquarters seemed pretty spacious. There were only three desks inside with multiple screens, and by the wall stood an unsafe-looking plank bed.

"Welcome to my job where we get Sicca Syndrome and a bad back trying to sleep on these," he joked and ran a hand through his hair.

Astrid sat down on the plank bed, wincing as it squeaked and bent violently, making him laugh as he sat down next to her.

Without giving herself much time to hesitate, Astrid leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Do we have enough time for me to ask you what your day looks like?"

He chuckled and gently wrapped his arm around her, trying not to let on that he was shaking slightly, thankful she still had her eyes closed so she wasn't able to see his blush.

"Maybe. We could save that conversation up for tomorrow, though."

She opened her eyes and moved to get up, but Hiccup tightened his grip around her shoulders and grinned lopsidedly.

"That wasn't me trying to tell you to immediately get up. It's …" he hesitated, his blush deepening. "It's, um, really nice sitting like this. With you."

Astrid chuckled lightly and leaned back into him, nuzzling her head into the crook of his neck.

"You're really trying to outdo yourself today, huh?"

Her voice was muffled against his skin, her breath sending sparks down it.

"Is it working?"

Astrid grinned against him. "Yeah."

The young man laughed and tried to calm his heart yet again. To think that only sitting with her head on his shoulder, her lips making direct contact with his skin when she spoke was enough to turn him into a flustered mess. And they hadn't even KISSED yet.

"I'm beginning to regret this."

He froze, his heart dropping immediately. Regret what? This? Her decision from earlier? Being alone with him? Out of a sudden? Somehow?

Of course, his logical side knew better than that and patiently waited for Astrid to continue - his worry got the better of him.

"Why?"

"Because now going back to my shift is going to be really fucking hard."

'Oh. Oh, thank God.' He exhaled and relaxed again.

"Why?" he repeated, feeling stupid.

Astrid closed her eyes again. "Because I'd much rather be here and spend the night with you than going back."

Aaaand there it was. His pulse was sky-rocketing. And she was so close she might actually hear. His blush had deepened even more.

Astrid continued after a pause, "Or you know, I could just crash at your apartment and cuddle with Toothless."

He rasped out a laugh. "If you let me in tomorrow."

Astrid opened her eyes and pursed her lips to hide her smile.

"We'll see."

Hiccup really wanted to kiss her. He wanted to so bad it almost hurt.

Yet, there was something holding him back - the question from earlier. But he didn't want to bring this up now. Especially not since-

"Speaking of Toothless, I should probably get going now."

"Oh, y-yeah! Uh," he uncurled his arm from around her and jumped up, stumbling towards his desk. "Let me just … find the key … uh. Should've probably done that earlier."

"Let me help. I've got a knack for finding things."

She joined him at the desk and grinned when he shot her a short, amused glance.

"You do?"

"Oh, yeah. I found you, so that's one."

Hiccup chuckled and watched her pull out his keys from underneath the printed draft of the day's report and hold it up in front of him, grinning smugly.

"And you say I'm trying to outdo myself?" he muttered, making her laugh.

"Well, now we're even."

He shrugged and grinned. "True. You remember the direction?"

Astrid nodded, leaning against the desk.

"Good. Ah, and uh, mind the door, it always gets stuck, so it's a bit hard to open. Just, uh, throw your entire body weight againt it. At least that's what I do."

She nodded again and smiled up at him. "Jot that down. Anything else? Where's the food?"

"Second left cupboard by the window on the floor. You know, the one with the scratches?"

She snorted as she remembered which one Hiccup was talking about - and it seemed like he was either very forgetful or had a cat that loved to eat.

"Alright, got it."

"Thanks again, Astrid."

Somehow they had ended up facing each other, his hands on her arms.

Hiccup's gaze fell down on his hands and his first instinct was to let go, but Astrid smiled and put her own hands on his arms, squeezing lightly.

"You're welcome. But - by the way, where's everyone else?"

"Oh, Gobber's already home and Scott went for a quick nap down in the living area. He complained that my typing was too loud for him to sleep."

She snorted. "Well, at least you've got the place to yourself, right?"

His hands subconscuiously had wandered to her waist.

"I'd rather not. But I'm a bit picky about the company."

"That so?"

He hummed, his eyes dropping to her lips ever so shortly. He looked like he was almost going to lean down and kiss her - but there was something in his eyes Astrid knew well by now.

Hesitation. Something was holding him back.

Astrid smiled and pulled back slightly.

She'd give him time.

Until then … she stood on her tip toes and kissed his cheek.

"I'm gonna get going now. Don't wanna keep Toothless waiting."

She grinned up at him and was relieved when he returned it.

"Yeah."

She turned to leave but was held back by his voice softly calling out her name.

"Oh, and … Astrid?"

She hummed, turning around, already halways out the door.

With a few steps he had closed the distance between them. His eyes were warm as he gently wrapped his fingers around her left wrist, tugged her closer and pressed a lingering kiss on her forehead.

Astrid's eyes fluttered closed at the contact.

"Stay safe tonight," he whispered, his lips barely grazing her skin before he pulled back.

Astrid opened her eyes again and was met with his open expression and small smile.

She returned it tenfolds and whispered back, "You too."

Then she turned around and took the stairs downstairs.

Fires and people had a lot in common, but most people could be either reasoned with or at least punched (which was her own interpretation). Then again, her boyfriend was not the type to underestimate a thing like a fire.

Astrid stopped, her hand on the doorhandle. Boyfriend. She'd thought 'boyfriend'.

The air was a tinge colder when she stepped outside, but still had the distinct warmth of a summer night.

Well, he was, wasn't he? It was what he'd asked her this morning, wasn't it?

Astrid smiled to herself and maybe the sky, Hiccup's keys clinking in her pocket.

This was a very girlfriend-thing to do, after all.

[dysphorie]

The Slipknot Incident

Anon, I’m an idiot and tunglr is a functioning website, so I lost your ask while trying to edit shit SO it was just easier to write this up. I doubt many people want to know, and I don’t blame them. It probably wouldn’t seem like a big deal to someone it didn’t happen to! And maybe I should just still be keeping it to myself, because who cares! Amirite? But no. I’ve decided that I want to write it all out for ME. So. Very long post ahead and I’m sorry about that but you need to know EVERYTHING for it all to really make sense.

So, flashback to 1999. I'm 15-turning 16. I have this boyfriend, kirk. He's obsessed with kurt cobain and everything grunge, and uses this to belittle the fact I like all kinds of music, particularly heavy stuff.

He was also an abusive cunt. Verbally and physically. Very controlling, HATED it if i went in the mosh pit (which I L O V E D, and glasgow moshpits are legendarily rough) because "that's not what girls do. And i know this is wrong, and he's wrong, and I shouldn’t put up with it, but I do! Cos I'm 16 and "in love"!

I also have two big sisters, one of which is...a handful. Very dramatic, very argumentative, and very good at getting people to take her side (steeeeeeff you've got to let her take xyz of your things, she has a baaaaaaaaybeee!) We get on amazingly NOW, but then not so much.

So, fastforward to Feb 2000. Slipknot are playing at glasgow barrowlands, my favourite venue ever, and slipknot were already my favourite band (s/t had hit, the world went wild). And I managed to get two tickets!! So kirk tells me in no uncertain terms that I've to give one to his little sister, nicky, who is a year younger than me. I'm like um ok sure, cos i hadn't planned who i was going with yet, my mum just got two tickets just in case. So I say i will, and that's that.

But oh no it isn’t. because my aforementioned sisters birthday is at the end of Feb! And my family are like, you’re giving her the other ticket, right? And no amount of no, I already promised it to Nicky would suffice. Because SHE’S YOUR SISTER AND SHE NEVER GETS TO DO ANYTHING COS SHE HAS A BAAAAAYBEEEEEEE. She didn’t, and doesn’t like Slipknot or either of the support act (Kittie and, thankfully, my good pals One Minute Silence who I’ve seen more times than I’ve had hot dinners)

So I explain this to Kirk, sitting in his room one day. He. Goes. B a l l i s t i c. I’ll miss the details but he explains that I WILL find a way for Nicky to go to this sold-out gig and, actually, him too while I’m at it. Because I have a reputation for being able to blag onto guest lists, it shouldn’t be too hard, right? So ofc I’m scared and promise I will.

The day or so before the gig, Slipknot did a signing in a Virgin Megastore that had recently opened. My friends and I were so excited, we were there from crazy early in the morning to get stuff signed (there ARE photos somewhere in the ether, who knows where, not me). But I’m also terrified Kirk’s gonna find out I’m there, cos he didn’t want me to go. That’s it. We had no idea what the band looked like yet so it wasn’t that kind of jealousy. But anyway...

The signing was great. Got my shit signed, Sid and Chris were weird assholes cos that was their schtick, Jim and Mick gave me the best cuddles, CRAIG SPOKE TO ME cos I have him a wee pin badge and he mumbled “No one ever gives me anything...”, and I gave Joey and Corey nailpolish. Joey looked terrified, Corey was incredibly thankful, and pulled me in for a hug. That he wouldn’t let me out of (not in a forceful way, just in a heeeeey lady let me hug on you for a while) and I’m like uh *panics in 16 not that he knows that cos tattoos and piercings and huuuuuuge boobs* and he says some very suggestive things and my friend said aye she’s into all that freaky shit too and I’m dying inside. Offers were made, I said uh lol maybe bye, and go home on cloud nine.

Until my friend who spoke to Corey tells Kirk what happened. Thankfully I wasn’t gonna see him until nearly door opening gig time, but the phonecall we had was...unpleasant.

So it’s the day of the gig, I go to Glasgow stupid early to meet the OMS boys and beg and plead for them to put Kirk and his sister on the guest list. And they do! Because I cry and tell them everything and I have to make their singer promise not to wait outside and beat him up. I could tell you what I was wearing: a deftones baseball ringer I lost my birginity in, baggies, and a powerpuff girls hoodie. My hair was blonde and green. I was wearing my favourite converse that Kirk hates because they were All-Stars, not One-Stars. And Corey wore All-Stars, was I wearing them because HE wore them? 

My sister turns up before the doors open. I’m at the front of the queue cos I want to be down the front. My sister and Kirk are both like lol no, because YOU need to  look after your sister (who is 24 to my 16 at this point) because she’s tiny and I go to more gigs, and Kirk doesn’t want me anywhere near the front or the pit. Doesn’t want me to corrupt his sister. But she begs me to take her in the pit for “Spit It Out” and I promise I will.

OMS are incredible, Kittie were ok, Talena tried to crowdsurf and got dropped. I turned around to talk to my sister about it and she was...gone. I checked the bar. Nothing. The toilets. Nada. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck we’re supposed to get the last train home together, I HAVE to find her. Slipknot come on. We’re standing up the back near the bar, and he has a deathgrip on my wrist so I don’t run off. Then I think I see my sister!! I beg to go to her, he lets me go, but I can’t find her, then I can’t find my way back to him. By the time I do, he accuses me of finding and kissing my friend Mark (my best friend who I’d actually recently fallen out with and hadn’t spoken to in months and only knew he was at the gig cos I saw him at the signing. I didn’t see him at the gig). I don’t find my sister.

Kirk decides it’s time to go, so literally drags us away. As we’re nearly out the crowd, “Spit It Out” starts, and I rip my arm away from him and grab his sister, tell him FUCK YOU, WE’RE DOING THIS. So we do. For about...a minute or so. Then something grips my right wrist so hard and so tight I thought it was going to crumble. I literally trip over my feet as he drags me back out the crowd and out of the ballroom.

Now the Barrowlands has a set of couches just outside the main hall, it’s a popular meeting place, so I pulled away again there and said NO, I have to wait for my sister, I’ll see him later, he can go home. Furiously he stomps away. So I sit and wait. And wait. And wait. The entire venue empties and my sister is nowhere to be seen. Turns out she left just as Slipknot started and went home, and yes I got in trouble for that despite the fact she fucked off. The venue staff need me to leave. I’ve missed the last train, I don’t know what I’m going to do. So I walk outside thinking maybe I’ll see a friend I can stay with.

And there’s Kirk and Nicky. Standing by their dad’s car. Hey come stay with me, I didn’t want to go til I knew you were ok, he says, sweet as pie. We get home, everyone goes to bed.

Where he put self-titled on repeat, very low on his stereo, and proceeded to do some of the most horrific things that have every happened to me in my life, over the course of basically the entire night. I’m going to stay non-specific, but if you can imagine it, it probably happened. Including yes, what you’re definitely thinking of now. And he told me it was all my fault. Because I was weak and couldn’t say no. Because I was a slut who’d catch something by fucking a guy in a band just to say I’d fucked someone in a band. That he’d make sure Corey wouldn’t want me if I ever met him again. That it was my fault for talking to another, older man. I was getting what I deserved. He plugged his big fancy headphones into the stereo and made me listen to my favourite tracks over and over and over during some of it, and I didn’t dare make a noise because if his parents found out, if anyone found out, he’d kill me. And I believed him, because he kept a bolt gun in his bedside drawer, liked to pretend he was going to shoot himself with it it upset me and make me beg him not to. He said he’d make me do it to myself maybe, to keep his hands clean. I believed every word.

I went home the next day packed with toilet tissue that I had to clench to keep in place because my underwear had been ripped, not that it mattered because it was covered in blood anyway. When I got home I got a bollocking and grounded because of the shit with my sister. She remembers none of it, but she’ll still insist it was probably my fault she left.

When I saw that Slipknot weren’t playing “Spit It Out” in January I literally cried tears of relief. It took me a long time to be able to listen to Slipknot again, and when I did I was made fun of for liking them, which made healing harder because I was just trying to reclaim this thing that had given me such comfort in the past. So I’ve always kinda kept my love of them to myself. 

But when I hear “Spit It Out”, I feel his fingers close around my wrist. I feel the bones click and roll. And normally I can turn the song off if I’m having a bad day, but I couldn’t exactly do that live. That’s a huge part of why I feel me like, reclaiming Slipknot this past year was just...meant to happen. It was nearly 20 years to the day, I bought the tickets with MY money and was going MYSELF for MYSELF, they weren’t playing a song that I might have a fucking breakdown to. I met amazing people. I did EVERYTHING on MY terms.

Honestly I’ll never be healed of it. Duh. But I can talk about it now because I’ve had closure. I took back what was taken from me. Can’t make up for the missed gigs taken from me and the like but meh, that’s nothing compared to what it’s given me.

[qjhughes]

Could you write something with Harry based off of Mine by Taylor Swift? Thank You Babes!

Mine

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 2,163

Summary: Harry’s the best thing that’s ever been yours.

Warning(s): Mentions of divorce, mom being unsupportive, some arguing, fluffiness, Harry being a literally perfect boyfriend, I think that’s it

A/N: I’ve never done a piece based on a song, so I hope it’s good. I don’t know how I feel about it but I hope everyone enjoys it.

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*

You were in college, working part-time, waiting tables Left a small town, never looked back

He had just been a small town boy, working in a bakery to make some extra money. He’d sing in his free time, not really thinking anything of it. 

He came home one day to his mom telling him that he had an audition for the biggest singing competition show in the UK. 

He didn’t know going in that it would get him out of his town, propelling him to stardom after the show, sending him on tours around the world with the boys that would be his brothers for years to come.

I was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin' Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts

You grew up in a home where love wasn’t all that present. Your parents divorced when you were younger, neither of them remarrying. You were taught that the most unreliable thing in life was love. It was something that was unstable. Something that fell apart way too often for it to be relied upon.

I say, "Can you believe it?" As we're lyin' on the couch

As you’re laying on the couch, your head in Harry’s lap, you look up at him and ask, “I can’t believe we made it here, can you?” 

He looks at you for a moment before responding, making sure that his thoughts are thoroughly put together before speaking. “Yeah, I can. I saw you and knew that you’d be my forever.”

The moment, I can see it Yes, yes, I can see it now

You smile up at him, thinking that maybe your mom was wrong to an extent. Yeah, love was unreliable, but Harry wasn’t. Harry was a constant that you were glad to say you had in your life. One that you hoped would be there forever.

He was what made love worth it, what made everything about the uncertainty worth the risk.

Do you remember, we were sittin', there by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time

Your mind drifts back to the first time that he ever took you out, you had gone to a cafe, had a nice dinner (which he refused to let you pay for), and then went to sit down by the lake in your small town.

You remember thinking to yourself that the whole thing was insane. He was in a world famous boy band and you were a nobody. The only reason that he was even in your hometown was because he was there for a tour stop. 

You had only agreed to go out with him because you thought you’d never see him again, never have to be dragged into the hectic lifestyle that comes along with being around Harry Styles.

Oh, were you wrong.

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

Ever since your dad had left, you had sworn that you were never going to leave your home, stay close to your mom so that you could take care of her if she ever needed it.

One date with Harry changed your whole outlook on that. Made you realize that there were bigger things than that.

And one conversation with your mom let you know that she had more than enough saved to take care of herself, and that if you really wanted to go be on your own, then she would fully support you.

Of course, at the time you left out one very important detail. You didn’t tell her that you wanted to go out and be with Harry, not leave to be on your own. But you didn’t think she needed to know that. She would have told you to stay, told you that he wasn’t trustworthy, that he would break your heart just like your dad had done to her. And honestly, you didn’t want to hear the speech again.

So, you packed your bags and you went on tour with him when he asked if you wanted to come. You made the split decision to be with him no matter what, because he was the best thing that had ever happened to you, and you were lucky to get to call him yours, so you weren’t going to let him go that easily.

Flash forward, and we're takin' on the world together And there's a drawer of my things at your place

The first time that you had been able to stay in one place for more than a few days came around six months after you had left. The boys were allowed to go home for a couple weeks, chill out, record some new music while staying put.

You hadn't unpacked your stuff since the day that you took it from your mom’s house, so when Harry had offered to let you use the washer and dryer that was now yours as well, you jumped at the opportunity.

When you came back into the room that you could now call yours, he had cleared out half of the drawers and half of the closet so that you could put your stuff up where you needed.

In that moment, you realized that this was real. That he was yours and you were his.

You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

He found out why you were so hesitant to leave with him a week or so into being home, when he had asked about when you wanted to see your parents and you had avoided the question, tears automatically popping up in your eyes.

Their divorce wasn’t something you liked to think about. Your dad wasn’t someone you ever talked to, much less talked about (unless it was with your mom), and you were still guilt ridden from not telling your mom about Harry.

He had wrapped you up in his arms, letting you cry until you were ready to talk about it, telling him everything. 

He holds you close the entire time, letting you ramble as he soaks up everything that you say.

He then walks you to bed, pulling you in with him and holding you close, pressing a kiss to your forehead and whispering, “We won’t end up like them. We won’t repeat their mistakes. I promise you, love, we’ll be different.”

With that, your body relaxes enough into his so that you can both fall asleep.

And we got bills to pay We got nothin' figured out

There were times in your relationship when there were things that went wrong, obviously. Every relationship has its issues. But yours weren’t like everyone else’s problems. The bills that you had to worry about weren’t electric and water. 

You had to pay for hotel bills and plane rides and a bunch of other expenses that come with touring the world with him.

There were times when the two of you would fight over it, you being upset and wanting to just stay home so that he didn’t have to pay for anything. So that you could get a job and help pay for some of the things around the house.

He refused, which ended up just making you feel like you were no help to him. It made you feel like you were a bad girlfriend, making Harry pay for everything when you couldn’t even help him out in the slightest.

He sat down with you, though, explained that you were worth more to him than anything else. He didn’t care if you had a job or not, he was lucky enough to not have to worry about you having a job. He’d rather have you on the road with him, having the time of your life, than having to work a nine to five job that you didn’t even really need.

When it was hard to take Yes, yes This is what I thought about

Sometimes, the thoughts would still bother you, so you’d always think back to that day on the lake, the day that started it all, and suddenly, your mood would be a lot better.

Do you remember, we were sittin' there, by the water? You put your arm around me, for the first time You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

It always was when you thought about the simple things with him.

Do you remember all the city lights on the water? You saw me start to believe, for the first time You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

That night, without even knowing it, Harry had made you believe in love. Had made you believe that maybe love was reliable. That maybe you could depend on him. Maybe you could be happily in love with him.

And I remember that fight, two-thirty a.m. 'Cause everything was slipping right out of our hands I ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street

The two of you had been in Japan with the band, yet another tour stop on the infinite list. You had started an argument over the fact that you were never at home, even though you’d much rather be with him. Besides, you knew his schedule.

Thinking back on it, you have no clue why you even said anything, you had no problem with being on the road with him. You were just being dramatic. It was late, you were tired, and he was the person that was there for you to take your agitation out on.

Your tiny argument had turned into a screaming match, and it had ended with you telling him you were done.

You had left the hotel, walking in the dead of night in a city you had never been to before, and to top it off, you didn’t even speak the language.

He had followed you though, running right out after you, catching up to you and grabbing your arm. He had spun you around to face him and the look on his face made your heart break into a thousand pieces.

Braced myself for the goodbye, 'Cause that's all I've ever known

He looked upset, so much so that you thought he was going to tell you to come get your stuff and then leave. Tell you he’d get you a plane back to your hometown in the morning. 

You were ready for him to pull the plug on you, to tell you that he didn’t love you anymore.

You were prepared for him to prove your mother right.

Then, you took me by surprise You said, "I'll never leave you alone"

He did the exact opposite though, he proved your mother wrong, yet again.

“Come back up, I’m sorry.” He had said, pulling you with him.

He had led you back up to the hotel room, tucking you into bed with him and promising to never leave.

He assured you that night that he loved you, that he never wanted to lose you, and that as soon as the tour was over, he would request a few weeks off.

You let him know that it wasn’t necessary, that you were just overreacting, but he vowed to do so anyway, telling you that he’d rather take a break from touring than lose you forever.

You said, "I remember how we felt, sitting by the water. And every time I look at you, it's like the first time. I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter. She is the best thing that's ever been mine."

He told you that night before you fell asleep that when things got bad, he thought of the same thing that you did. The same exact memory. Your first ever date. The day that changed his life forever.

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

You realized that night, that no matter what happened, you’d do anything for him. You’d tour with him until you were gray and old if that’s what made him happy. Because he was what made you happy.

Do you believe it? We're gonna make it now And I can see it

You knew for a fact that you and Harry were going to make it when he stood in front of you, telling you that he’d care for you always, and never, ever let the two of you end up like your parents. You believed him so strongly that you didn’t hesitate to look him in the eyes and say “I do.” 

So, now, here you were, your head in his lap, his hand running through your hair, singing you to sleep.

You knew, without a doubt, that as long as you had Harry, you’d be alright. 

*

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[chemartsblog]

For Love of Sassy Brunettes

Pairing: Steve/any sassy brunette, BrOTP Steve & Bucky

Summary: Bucky knows there’s one thing that get’s Steve’s engine going: Sassy Brunettes.

For the Love of Sassy Brunettes

If Bucky could pin it on a singular event, he’d say that Steve found his fondness for brunettes when a nine-year old Chloe Dayzula saved his pasty ass from the local bullies. The girl was fierce with brown curls, tanned skin, brown eyes and a mouth that’s not afraid to sass anyone out. Normally, Bucky could easily take out Donald Stump and his crew, but he wasn’t there that day and those bullies tried too advantage of it.

Fortunately, Chole was, and she did not like seeing those bullies beating down the sick kid with asthma. From the way Steve and the other kids tell it, that spitfire literally kicked Donald Stump’s ass to the ground. Then she got in-between the bully and Steve, put her hands on her hips and yelled, “My dog’s got bigger balls than you, Stump. Go play on the train tracks if you wanna show off your manliness.”

That right there…that image of a strong sassy brunette defending the weak was burned into Steve’s memories forever.

When Bucky got on the scene, Steve was a stuttering red mess as he tried to thank the girl. “I-I don’t know how I could thank you, Chloe.” Steve mumbled, shifting slightly on his feet.

Chloe had grinned and batted her eyelashes prettily. “You could get ice cream with me.”

Steve looked like he just found gold on a well-trodden road. He smiles eagerly, “Y-yeah of course—em sure yeah!”

Bucky has to bite his fist to stop himself from laughing, but at least Chloe found it endearing. She laughed and took his hand, taking him towards the ice cream shop. When Steve looked back, Bucky gave him two thumbs up and mouths a ‘good luck’.

Steve and Chloe ‘date’ for a month until she had to leave with her parents to go to another state. It’s the first time Bucky sees Steve cry over a girl.

                                                                                                                  _*_*_

Over the years, Bucky starts seeing a trend in Steve’s crushes. Almost all of them are brunettes and who usually show a hint of fire in them. As far as Bucky knew, they were all girls until Yin Pothong transferred to school. The fourteen-year-old boy was tall, lithe and very very handsome. Even Bucky couldn’t stop his double glances at the teen’s exotic features. The wavy tussle of dark brown hair rested neatly on his head, his eyes a deep dark black that makes all the girls (and boys) melt.

They said his parents were mixed, which is why he looks so damn good. Bucky can believe it, and Steve definitely believed it.

It was probably the third time Steve tripped over his legs when Yin passed by during gym, and Bucky’s had enough of his friend’s painful mooning. So he does the ‘good friend’ thing and calls Yin over to them during break. The tall amiable boy smiles brightly and waves at Bucky and Steve.

“Hi Bucky.” Then he turns his brown eyes to his red quivering friend. “Hi Steve.”

Steve is a statue. A very red gaping statue.

Bucky clears his throat, “Ahem, y’know Yin, Steve is also a big fan of the Brooklyn Robins. We got tickets to one of the games on Saturday, but I can’t make it…” he hints.

Yin grins. “I’d be happy to; if Steve’s okay with it?” He answers glancing to the still statuesque teen.

Bucky discretely grinds down on Steve’s foot, and somehow snaps him out of his stupor.

“Y-yeah yes—well—I mean—that is—!”

An exasperated Bucky delivers another quick jab to the stuttering teen’s side, and Steve manages to get himself together to string a coherent sentence.

“Yes. Yes. I definitely wouldn’t mind. Love to have you there, Yin.” Steve finishes lamely.

It doesn’t seem to discourage Yin, which is a good sign. The handsome brunette takes out a piece of paper and writes his address and home number on it.

“Here, call me if anything comes up. Otherwise we should meet up at my place before the game. Probably 12? My mom probably would want to make lunch for us.” He says.

Steve takes the piece of paper like it’s the most precious artifact in the world, and looks at Yin with wide eyes. “Y-yeah 12 is good.”

“Great! See you then, Steve.” And Yin takes off, heading towards another group of people.

Bucky grins, “Smooth dude.”

“Shut up, Buck. You were the same way with Mellissa.”

“That’s because I got lost in those massive tits.”

Steve slaps his friend’s arm playfully. “You’re an animal.”

“Never said I wasn’t.” Bucky grins.

They pause and Steve asks carefully, “So you’re okay if I’m…a little queer?”

Bucky grins and ruffles his friend’s hair. “Tits, pecs, dicks, vag’s. Doesn’t matter to me. You’re still the most awkward fucking dude I know.”

“Ha-ha.” Steve retorts, but there’s a relieved grin on his face.

                                                             _*_*_

One of the strangest things Bucky starts recalling during his imprisonment is all the faces of Steve’s crushes. For whatever reason, the drone of the names and faces going through his brain are enough to keep him relatively sane during the kooky doctor’s experiments.

If some of the guards give him weird looks every time he starts listing the names of Steve’s sassy brunette crushes, well…he’s too tired of Nazi shit to care.

In fact he’s just in the middle of talking about Yin when lo and behold Steve comes barging through the door. Well he thinks it’s Steve, but this Steve is waaay bigger than the Steve he remembers. Is this a hallucination?

“Who’s the sassy brunet who saved you on the playground when Donald came after you?” Bucky asks suspiciously. Big-Steve snorts and answers, “Chloe Dayzula. My first crush.”

Bucky looks him up and down. “Huh. What happened to you?”

“I joined the army.” Is the easy answer.

Whatever, Bucky’s too tired to complain or think too hard on it.

_*_*_

The moment Bucky recovered and laid eyes on Elizabeth ‘Peggy’ Carter, he knew. He didn’t even have to look at Steve standing beside him. Peggy is the whole package, and he’s going to gloat at their wedding.

Honestly, Bucky gets it. Peggy is hot, dangerous and has the look of someone who’s not afraid to kick your ass. He’d be jealous if it was anyone but Steve. As it was, he’s more than happy to play wingman to the dork. And Steve really needs it. The two idiots dance around each other like nobody’s business. It’s one of the worst cases of pining Bucky’s ever seen. The air around them tense and sizzling with unsaid promises. Every eye at the bar on the two, asking will they? Are they?

It’s kinda cute how Steve’s changed so much but still retained that awkward boyish attitude when it comes to women. Bucky would have laughed if he hadn’t seen this same dance for the past eighteen years. Still, it’s cute that Steve found a dangerously hot brunette in the army of all things.

Bucky puts down his drink and sits across from Steve, eyes gleaming and smirk sharp.

“So…Peggy.” He starts.

Steve sighs, “Bucky…”

“What?” he asks innocently. “I’m just stating the name of our very pretty, very brunette, and very spicy lady.”

“If she hears you say that she’ll fill you with lead and then turn you inside out before doing it again.” Steve retorts.

Bucky shivers. “Yup you’re right about that, but what if you said that?”

“She’d have to use the bigger guns.”

“Alright, fair enough.” Bucky acquiesces. “But seriously, it’s like I wasn’t even there. Did you forget that I was standing next to you?”

Steve chuckles. “I could never forget you, Bucky.”

“Better not. I snagged you that hot boyfriend, Yin.”

“No you didn’t.” Steve denies.

“Yes I did, Steve don’t even start. If I hadn’t dropped in with that whole, ‘oh no. I can’t go to the baseball game’ schtick, you’d have been mooning over him until he moved.”

The larger man sighs, “Yeah you’re probably right. He was something.”

“Like a Peggy something?” Bucky grins.

Steve pushes Bucky, and this time, it actually topples the man down.

“Oh shoot, I’m sorry Buck!” Steve cries as he helps his friend up. Bucky waves him away.

“Eh bound to happen someday.” He says. “But you owe me.”

“What do you want?”

“I call best man.” Bucky grins.

Steve laughs. “Win the war first; then we can talk about weddings.”

(Bucky’s last thought as he falls is: Damn I’ll miss my best friend’s wedding.)

                                                               _*_*_

Seventy years would change everything and nothing. Steve convinced him to stay after the whole Hydra debacle, and they were able to rescue his mind with Stark and Shuri’s help. The first thing he does after staggering out of the pod is hug Steve, holding onto his brother and best friend tightly.

“Sorry about Peggy.” He mutters.

Steve smiles sadly and pats his back, “It’s okay. She lived a good life.”

“I’m glad.”

Of course, Stark isn’t really one for sappy reunions and snaps at the two. “Uhhh…why don’t I see any loving for the two amazing geniuses that recovered your brain?” he sasses. “I’m just saying that we saved your brain. With our brains and a lot of cool science stuff.”

Bucky glares at the man and then turns to Steve. He leans close to his ear and whispers, “I swear to God Steve if you’ve got a boner for that guy…”

The silence and tension in his shoulders is all he needs to know. Bucky groans and drops his head against Steve’s shoulder.

“Uuuugggghhhh.” He intones dramatically.

Steve pats his head. “Sorry, buddy.”

“You owe me so much for this.”

                                                     _*_*_

At least Steve makes good on his promise and gives Bucky the honor of best man. Take that Sam!

Bucky raises his glass in a toast and grins. “Tony, of all the sassy brunettes that Steve has liked over the years, you would be the last one I thought Steve would marry.”

Tony sends him the middle finger, but Bucky just laughs it off and continues. “But you really stepped up and showed that you’re the best one for my brother. So best of luck to Steve and you. You’re probably the only two people who could marry each other without going insane.”

The dining hall is filled with laugher and applause as Bucky bows and takes a seat. After the wedding ceremony, Steve comes up and gives him a hug and a playful punch. Stark actually does the human thing and gives Bucky a proper hug too.

“Wow is the world ending?” Bucky jokes.

Tony rolls his eyes. “You weren’t funny seventy years ago and you aren’t funny now.”

“Rude. Steve are you going to let your husband talk to your brother-in-law like that?”

Said man rolls his eyes in response. “I’m not getting in-between your weird play-feuds. Just don’t have another Poptart incident.”

“Hey that was all Thor.” Tony complains.

Bucky nods vigorously, “Yeah we hardly had anything to do with it!”

“Clint, Bruce and Tasha think differently. Even Thor thinks differently.”

“Figures.” Bucky mutters. “They always blame the class clowns.”

“I’m more of a class genius.” Tony retorts.

Before the two can get into another bickering session, Steve hauls them towards the photographer. They get one good picture, and then Bucky somehow gets cake all over Tony and it’s just pandemonium from there. Steve is fine with it. It wouldn’t be a Stony wedding without an impromptu food fight.

                                                      _*_*_

Bucky should have known something like this would happen. Steve is the biggest sap he knew and Tony is no better. Especially when it comes in a cute seven-year-old package.

Steve saved this tiny child from a bombing in Queens. Unfortunately, poor Peter lost his aunt and uncle during the attack, leaving the child with no home to go to. Steve only had to give the authorities his best, Captain America look before they’re handing him the paperwork to take the child into his temporary custody once Peter’s been cleared by the doctor’s.

Bucky should have known it would be anything but temporary.

And it got worse when Tony found out the child’s potential genius. The two children were busy playing in the lab all day, and Steve just looked over them like a proud mother duck. Bucky would have torn his hair out if it wasn’t so damn cute.

Of course, Tony and Steve filed for adoption within a week of knowing Peter, and soon they’ll have a newly minted Peter Parker-Stark-Rogers.

Bucky sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, while Steve gives him the biggest puppy-dog eyes as he tucks Peter close.

“Steve.” Bucky says.

“Bucky.”

His friend looks at Steve then at the small child in Steve’s arms and honestly, Bucky’s a stupid sap too because he gets it.

“I call godfather.” Bucky replies.

“You’ll have to fight, Clint, Thor, and Bruce for that honor.” Steve answers.

“What about godmother?”

“You’ll have to fight Tasha and Pepper for it.”

“I’ll try my hand at godfather.”

“Good idea.”

Bucky shakes his head in amusement. “I always knew you had a weakness for sassy brunettes, but this wasn’t what I expected to come out of it.”

“Because I married Tony?” Steve asks.

Bucky shakes his head and looks meaningfully at the small child who’s building some kind of spider robot with Legos.

Steve looks offended and gasps. “Peter is not sassy.”

“Yeah Uncle Buck, I’m not sassy. I’m an angel.” Peter…well sasses.

His old friend only has to give Steve a look and the sheepish man just shoots Bucky a wry grin.

“What can I say? I have a type.”

[fics-not-tragedies]

One Day in December: Chapter 5 🎇

one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten - epilogue

Words:  3630; Warnings: few slightly smut-ish bits, and if you want a warning for drinking and smoking then you have it; Summary: In the next year both Andrew and Bianca are finally alone and the tensions gets unbearable.

Hozier tag list:

@letoursilencebreaktonight​​​​​​; @angelpeachamber​​​​​​; @sgt-morgan​​​​​​; @julessbrown​​​​​​;

December 2014

Bianca was late. Very fucking late.

The party started over an hour ago, and she was hurrying down the sidewalk, the heels of her boots scuffling and catching on patches of ice.

“Yes. This is all I need this year. To break my neck on my way to the party” she muttered to herself, pulling her big, cozy faux fur coat tighter as the night’s chill stung her cheeks and legs. Perhaps she should’ve chosen a longer coat, but… nothing else went as well with the dress she’d selected specifically for the occasion . Despite the fact that the air was so cold and she surely had a nose redder than Rudolph’s… it would be well worth it when she got there.

This year, she was prepared.

Word was that Andrew was single; had been for months.

It was really all speculation… rumors people had spread about him, but she spent the last few weeks seriously holding on to the notion that he really was. Because amazingly… so was she.

She giggled to herself as she got closer and closer, the cars lining either side of the street around the bend reminding her of how late she really was, “Parties never start on time” she reminded herself.

But it wasn’t just that… it was the fact that she wanted to spend as much time with Andrew as humanly possible. That was… if he still wanted her the way he seemed to last year.

She skipped up the steps, sneaking in quickly to be greeted by the warm rush of heat. They had the fire going; she could smell the delicious scent already. She passed the mirror in the foyer, noting the bright red nose as she predicted, and willed it to go away lest she ran into him immediately. Other than that; everything looked alright. She was greeted by friends as she rounded the corner, and she said quick hellos before skirting off down the hall to the coat room. She waved to someone just as she got to the bedroom, slipping the buttons on her coat while she crossed the threshold.

She halted dead in her tracks when she spotted the figure standing at the foot of the bed; his head bent as he searched his pockets for what she could only assume was his lighter, noting the cigarette dangling from his lips.

Andrew glanced up, sensing the presence of someone else in the room other than himself. His eyebrow cocked as he realized who it was and a smirk curled at the edge of his lips, the cigarette hanging on for dear life.

“Bianca” he breathed, standing up straight and shaking back his shoulders.

She gasped softly, telling herself to shut her mouth so she didn’t quite so much resemble a dead fish, “Andrew…?”

Here she was thinking she was prepared to tackle her years-long crush after a devastating last years season… when he goes and shows up like that. Had he looked like that a few months ago? When was the last time she’d caught him on tv…?

Andrew’s eyes sparkled, the devil in them as he drank her in. Well… it wasn’t so much drink as it was devour. Bianca shifted under his heavy gaze, something igniting inside her that hadn’t quite been there the last time they were in a room alone together.

“Mmm… Good to see you, love” he drawled, his tongue licking at every word as it tumbled languidly from his lips, “I’m going out for a smoke… care to join me?”

But…

“Um…” she squeaked softly, and she bit her lip, really wishing she hadn’t sounded like that just then, “Yes. Yeah…sure.” she tried to maintain her cool, but her mind screamed I just got here and it’s freezing outside but I’d honestly follow you anywhere.

Andrew chuckled at her reaction, nodding his head in the direction of the sliding door not-so-cleverly concealed by a row of floor-to-ceiling blinds, “C’mon… there’s no one out here…”

Bianca had to remind herself to use her feet to propel her body forward. That’s how it works when you walk, Bianca… one foot in front of the other. It was hard. He was so gorgeous. Not that he hadn’t been before, but this was…. this was… When had Andrew Hozier-Byrne become so sexy?

She fastened her coat back up, smoothing out the front like that made any difference at all. He pushed the slider open through the blinds and held them back for her to walk through. The cold hit her again full force and she wrapped her arms around herself to keep the heat in. They were blocked in by a series of tall shrubs; quiet… secluded.

Oh…

Bianca heard the flick and click of his lighter behind her and she turned just in time to catch him lighting his cigarette. She swallowed thickly, the scene before her like something out of her wildest dreams. His hair was… well it was shorter than it was last year, but now it was much fluffier and much curlier, like he used a fucking curling iron. The dark jean jacket was layered over a flannel shirt, and somehow… this was like a completely different person.

“God, it’s freezing…” he commented with chuckle, shoving one of his hands deep inside the pocket of his jacket. The collar stood up straight, shielding his neck from the cold, the scarf that hung there barely providing any warmth.

“It is” Bianca smiled softly, unsure now just how to act in front of him.

“I won’t keep you long… just wanted some company” and he flashed that same gorgeous smile she fell in love with, but this time his teeth were much straighter and whiter.

Suddenly it wasn’t so cold outside anymore.

“It’s fine… I don’t mind it…”

“So how you’ve been… you look really good.”

Bianca’s cheeks burned, and she burrowed deeper into her jacket, “Thanks… um… you do too” he just smirked in response,. “I’m… I’m doing well… can’t believe we’re already back here again.”

“I know…” he exhaled, the cigarette smoke an opaque cloud as it mingled with the night air, “Seems like forever but… also not.”

She dug into the pavement with the heel of her boot, “Yeah… you um… you seem… different, maybe?”

He laughed outright, “Different bad or… different good?”

“Different good” she assured him all to quickly.

“It’s the fame, baby” he waved his head like he was in L’Oréal shampoo commercial and laughed loudly. Andrew smirked watching the color rise up on her cheeks, loving the way her nose turned all red out here. He wanted to kiss it. To kiss her. He noticed how hard she was shaking, and took one last drag before flicking his cigarette. He couldn’t talk to her out here like this.

“C’mon love, let’s get you back inside.”

“Oh thank God” she sighed with relief and they smiled at each other before heading back in. Andrew removed his coat, his eyes on her as she took hers off as well.

“Speaking of people looking different…” Andrew drawled, his eyes trailing up her body. She was wearing a dress again, but it wasn’t sweet and it wasn’t cute, and there were no heart tights to be seen; as much as he’d loved them on her. She wore a tight cobalt blue mini-dress that hugged every single curve of her body… the curves Andrew had never really had the chance to see before, “You look… good, like…”

Bianca actually glanced down to see what she was wearing again, as if she’d forgotten after hours of contemplation. When she looked back up, Andrew was still checking her out and she raised her eyebrow at him, waiting for him to look her in the eyes.

“Thanks…” she replied cooly, her confidence coming back now that she was getting used to whatever this new version of Andrew was.

Andrew bit his bottom lip as they stared each other down, that uncomfortable sexual tension humming between them again.

“Wanna get a drink?”

“Yes, definitely.” She breathed and the two of them went to join the rest of the party.

*

Bianca had never seen Andrew so outgoing before. It was so effortless between the two of them, the flirting at an all-time high.

He loved the way her hazel eyes sparkled when she laughed, and he loved the way the little tendrils of her toffee-colored hair slipped out of the low knot at the nape of her neck. Most importantly, he loved that she was here again; even if nothing happened… he just wanted to be around her.

“Are you gonna dance with me, or…?” Bianca grinned, when another good song boomed through the speakers.

“Absolutely not” Andrew chuckled, sipping his beer, “But you go ahead. I don’t mind watching.”

“Noooo…” she giggled, leaning her shoulder on the wall beside him, “I feel silly doing that… can’t dance alone.”

“Well, good. You can stay here and talk to me, then” he breathed deeply, turning his body so they were facing each other. His eyes drifted across her face and down her body and then back up again.

“Don’t look at me like that” she murmured, a teasing smile on her lips, her eyes batting flirtatiously.

“I’m gonna look at you any way I want” Andrew growled lowly, his eyes falling to her full pink lips, and then back to her eyes again.

Bianca swallowed hard, stepping in a bit closer, mesmerized by his gaze.

The tension. It was back. Thick. Heavy.

��D’you wanna get-”

“Yes” Bianca replied almost immediately and Andrew raised his eyebrows at her rapid reply. She slipped her hand in his and they pushed through the bodies in the living room until they passed through the entryway with the mistletoe and into the long hallway, “Where should we go?”

“Coat room. Only one that’s kept open” Andrew replied, nodding down the hall.

Bianca nodded, too excited to think of a plan b. This was happening.

They crept in, and Bianca immediately checked the master bathroom to see if there was anyone lingering about. Andrew was just clicking the lock on the main door when she came to stand beside him again and he looked to her with a twinkle in his eye.

“No one needs their jacket just yet I’m sure”

She nodded her head in agreement and it took Andrew a half a second before he had her pinned up against the door, his body towering over her. Bianca giggled at his eagerness and Andrew chuckled at his own excitement, “I’m sorry, it’s just…”

“Four years.”

“Yes” he laughed, his throat tight at the thought of all the bad things that had happened, “Wait… before we do this… you, em… you’re not seeing anybody… right?”

She bit her lip, shaking her head, “No… you?”

“No.”

“Good” she said firmly, an intensity blazing in her eyes. He marveled at how dark and dim they became when she was in a particularly sexual mood, the amber surrounding her irises burning bright.

Andrew pressed his body closer to hers, licking his lips, his eyelids heavy and dreamy. Bianca was melting. He closed his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself. When he opened them, a smile graced his lips before he leaned in, his mouth hovering over hers.

“Kiss me” she breathed, the both of them hanging in the moment. Andrew paused for only a fraction of a second before his lips crushed against hers. Her mouth was soft, and warm, and inviting… and Andrew kissed her long, and slow, and with a deliberate sense of purpose; wanting to remember and cherish this particular moment long after it was over. His tongue licked at her, tasting her, the fruitiness of the cocktail she had earlier making her mouth extra sweet.

Bianca lifted her arms standing on her tippy toes, wrapping them around his neck and pulling him close. He groaned into her mouth, pressing his hips against hers, her back now flat against the door. Bianca’s stomach knotted and tumbled, his lips more perfect than she’d imagined. The amount of times she thought about how they’d feel were too many to count, and her heart was singing for him. He kissed her hungrily now, his belt buckle digging into her side as he covered her body with his.

“God love…” Andrew breathed, only pulling away for a moment to catch his breath. He kissed at the corners of her mouth, his hands sailing up her back and coasting down again to hold tight onto her hips. She was everything he’d dreamt about and he kicked himself for being an idiot for the past four years. There was the small matter of a girlfriend at the time, but if Andrew was being honest with himself, it was Bianca that had always had him hooked.

“Andrew I’m sorry…” Bianca breathed when his mouth descended to her chin and down her neck, where he planned to spend a very long time exploring.

“What…?” he looked up, his gorgeous brown eyes like melted chocolate, liquid and hazy.

“I’m sorry for last year” she confessed, the way she’d hurt him had torn her up for a year; and she thought about him more than she was willing to confess.

“It’s fine, love” Andrew whispered softly, his thumb caressing her lip, and he swooped in to steal a few more quick pecks, “You did the right thing, and… I, em, I wasn’t in a good place. But…” he pressed even tighter against her if that were possible, “I am now.”

“A very good place” she confirmed, pulling his face close to hers once more. She was going to kiss him until his lips were good and raw.

Andrew smirked, teasing her before they locked lips again. Bianca’s eyes fell closed, falling victim to his prowess, his confidence, the assureds in his actions that hadn’t been there in the past. Their lips seemed a perfect match; sliding and teasing, tasting and pulling; and he captured her full bottom lip between his own. He sucked and nibbled, drawing moans and whimpers from deep within her.

“You’re perfect…” he husked between playful nips, “I could kiss you forever…”

His hand slipped down her waist, his fingers lingering just above the curve of her ass.

“Keep going” she giggled against his mouth, when she felt him hesitate. There was no need to take it slow; surely they were comfortable enough now to just dive right in.

Andrew leaned his forehead against hers, the curls falling into his face tickling her skin, “Alright…” he chuckled, nervous on the inside.

Bianca didn’t know what sound it was that escaped her lips, all she knew was that when Andrew’s hand squeezed her ass, she arched her body into his as a silent plea for more.

“You like that?” he teased, grabbing another fistful, feeling her body twitch, her leg lifting in response.

With her knee at the side of his calf he was invited closer, much closer, and the heat that burned and crackled between them felt so intoxicating now. Bianca’s hands slid down his neck. He kissed her again, his nose bumping against hers, making her giggle.

“Shhh…” laughter danced on the edges of his whisper when he kissed her cheek and down her neck again. His fingers sunk into her thigh, holding it to him while his mouth wreaked havoc on her neck. He licked and sucked along her collar bone, his nose gliding across her soft skin, inhaling the scent that was completely her.

Bianca’s hands trailed down his chest, counting the buttons down his shirt as she went, wondering how quickly she could remove it if she were given the opportunity. His waist was thin and firm, a little bit of softness at his hips. He had a kissable kind of body, one that she’d surely thought about naked… mostly after the night he’d placed his hand on her thigh. She had dreams of him in that maroon sweater, how his hair would stick up from the static when she pulled it over his head. And then what his chest would look like underneath, and how desperately she wanted to cuddle up to it.

Her arms wound around his waist beneath his jean jacket, the checkered shirt warm from his overheated skin. She loved it on him, but she wanted it off, wanted to see his arms, to feel them around her. Andrew paused when he felt her trying to push it off his shoulders, a determined pout on her lips. He gazed at her curiously, dropping his arms to his sides to help her with her mission. It fell to the floor with a thud, and she grinned at him, a satisfied smirk on her lips.

“Just want me naked right here don’t you?” He teased, his voice dark and thick like velvet; his arms facing palms up at his sides.

“Mmm… yes…” she hummed as her fingers skimmed along his skin, pushing the flannel down his arms, tracing the tattoo on his bicep and down, down, down the veins of his forearms until she could entwine his fingers with hers. She pressed her lips to his chin quickly, aching to adorn him with her kisses the way she’d always wanted to, “C’mere you…”

Bianca tugged him closer to her again, her lips smooth and wet as they pressed against his, her tongue teasing him before she kissed up that sharp jaw of his, to his ear where he moaned happily as she sucked on his earlobe, “Oh… you like this…” she whispered, her fingers gripped tight on the edge of his shirt.

Andrew wound his arms around her, hugging her close, needing her pressed against him while she had her way with him, “I’ve had dreams about kissing you all over…” she cooed. He was adorable and sexy and her mind felt fuzzy as she tried to absorb every second of this moment. She was disappearing into him, their bodies like liquid as they melted together, finally acting on all the tension they accrued over the years.

He was torn; simultaneously wanting to throw her on the bed and ravage her, but also wanting to hold her in his arms and kiss her slow until the sun came up. Oh, but couldn’t he do both?

There was a loud banging on the door that startled the two of them; their intimate little moment interrupted. They were so very lost in the idea of exploring one another for the rest of the night that they’d almost forgotten where they were.

“Shit” Andrew hissed under his breath.

Bianca grinned up at him, blinking her eyes dreamily at the flush of his cheeks and his messy hair. The pounding continued and Andrew fixed his shirt, then scooped his jacket up off the floor, his eyes on hers as he slid it back on.

Her lips were red and swollen at his doing, and there were more tendrils falling out of her hair then there had been before. He gazed at her with adoration and a strong feeling in his gut that this needed to continue.

“This… could be a horrible idea… but… we could do one of two things…”

Bianca raised her eyebrows, excited to hear what her options were, despite the incessant pounding at the door.

“One… we could ditch this party, and you could let me walk you back to yours and hopefully invite me up” he grinned, quite pleased with himself for being so bold as to suggest a tryst with the gorgeous girl standing before him; because it certainly wasn’t something he did often.

“And two?” She purred, her eyes dancing golden brown as the amber radiated from the irises with delight.

“And two” he echoed, “We could just head back out there, grab a drink and listen to shitty renditions of shitty Christmas tunes for the remainder of the evening.”

Bianca whistled, “Wow. Tough choice.”

Andrew raised his eyebrow as he waited on her response. The pounding on the door getting on his nerves, “Hey! Pack it in! Give us a fucking second!”

“Fuck off” he heard the person on the other side grumble and they both burst into laughter.

“One. I choose option one” Bianca cried breathlessly, and Andrew threw his arm around her waist, kissing her quick.

“Thank god, fuck. Grab your coat, darling.”

The nervous knot in her stomach was replaced by an excited flurry of butterflies, and they fluttered and swooped as Andrew helped her with her coat. He slipped his hand in hers when they were both properly dressed, and they dashed out of the room and past the persistent asshole who told them to ‘fuck off’ once more as they sailed down the hallway.

Bianca’s feet scurried to keep up with Andrew’s much longer strides, and she bowed her head, biting her lip as she avoided eye contact with the other partygoers. She couldn’t care less what they thought as they pushed past them, she just wanted to think of Andrew and only Andrew as he pulled her towards the front.

“It’s four streets up and one over” Bianca explained while they stood on the front steps, Andrew hurriedly buttoning up his navy coat, wrapping the scarf tighter and popping the collar up to shield his ears.

“Gonna be a long walk, then” he huffed with a grin, his warm breath sending smoke signals like love letters into the starry night sky.

“I could keep you warm” she chirped, her cute little smile warming him up almost instantly.

Andrew grinned at the rosy red her nose was already turning, and tapped it once before he linked his arm with hers, “C’mon, honey… let me take you home.”

[pickalilywrites]

So you are graduating today. Congratulations! 🎉🎉🎉 And I would request Rivetra . Maybe really big fight between them breaking up. But they realise they cannot live without each other. 😍😍😍

thank you so much for taking the time to congratulate me. i’m very grateful :) i hope you enjoy my writing since it’s been a while since i wrote anything ^^ 

Please Don’t Leave Me (I Love You)

Rivetra. Modern AU. 

2659 words. 

Buy me a ko-fi or read it on Ao3!

Petra can’t even remember what they were fighting about. Nowadays, it seems like they fight about everything and nothing at all. They fight over the most trivial of matters, things that she can’t recall when she wakes up the next morning. It’s never violent, but it always hurts.

It didn’t use to be like this. It used to be easier when they were young and dumb and still in love. When they first moved in together, Petra was ecstatic and she knew Levi was too even if he was too emotionally stunted to show it. He sat beside her as she flipped through the furniture catalog, nodding at every piece she pointed at no matter how ridiculous it was. She accused him of not really paying attention, laughing at him and saying there was absolutely no way that he was okay with the horrific leopard-print bean bag chairs she jokingly picked out for their living room. He only backtracked then, saying that he didn’t particularly care for it but he’d find a way to like it if that’s what she absolutely wanted, and she laughed at him even more. They ended up not buying anything that Petra had chosen, opting for a more contemporary theme rather than whatever ridiculous piece she could find in the catalog. It ended up quite nice - more monochrome than she had been hoping for - but there were a few touches here and there that made it a little cozier. She liked the fuzzy beige rug that they had put in, the one Levi complains about because he thinks vacuuming is a bitch, and the plush pillows decorating the otherwise plain gray couch with their zig-zag patterns. Petra honestly hadn’t liked it very much at first. She preferred a more traditional look while Levi leaned towards more modern pieces, but contemporary felt like a good compromise between the two. At first glance, it looked more cool than cozy, but nothing felt more like home when she and Levi were on the couch, their limbs lazily entangled after eating leftover Chinese takeout from the night before.

She can hardly stand to be in their apartment now. She hates its muted tones, its lack of color, the sharp lines, and the lack of curves. It’s been a month since she’s been home before nine, and she usually leaves early in the morning before the sun even has a chance to rise. The apartment that was once her home - their home - is now merely a place for her to sleep and shower. Even on the weekends, she’s found excuses to be out, choosing to work in the office during the weekend on made-up projects instead of resting at home. It’s probably the same for Levi, she thinks, because she’s hardly seen him at all. She can’t complain though. It’s easier to avoid someone if they’re avoiding you too.

A year ago, she never would have imagined willingly being apart from Levi for more than a day or two. She would have missed him too much. She liked resting in his arms after a long day at work, and she knows he found comfort when she curled up against him under the sheets. Even his presence was enough to soothe her, and she felt solace in knowing that he would be waiting for her at the apartment when she returned. A year isn’t even that long ago, but it feels like such days happened in a different lifetime.

She can’t say for certain when all this fighting had begun, but she knows how it started. It was probably a little less than two months ago when she told him her work was giving her a promotion. He didn’t smile - Levi was never really one to smile even when he was happy - but the corner of his mouth twitched upward and he reached up to brush a lock of hair from her face.

“It’s in Manchester,” she told him.

“Manchester like …,” he said, eyes widening slightly.

“Like … England,” Petra said slowly. She was ecstatic at first when she heard the news and she was even more excited to share it with Levi, but looking at his expression made her regret not keeping the news to herself. It was a little painful looking at him, but she did genuinely believe it was a good opportunity for the both of them. It just made sense for her professionally and financially and Levi … well, he had been holding onto this city for so long. The only things left for him were memories of people that had already gone. She was hoping that she wouldn’t be another person to contribute to that list.

Levi was silent for a moment, looking at her but his thoughts were a million miles away. “Manchester …,” he repeated. He withdrew his hand from her face. “Are you taking it?”

“Of course,” Petra replied without hesitation. She saw him flinch the tiniest bit and she swore at herself inwardly. She should have paused for a second or two before giving a reply. Desperately, she reached out for him, taking his hands gently in hers. “I think it’s a wonderful opportunity. It’s a lot better than my current role at the company. Is that … bad?”

Her words seemed to snap him out of his reverie. “Of course not,” he said hastily. He squeezed her hands just a little too hard. “It’s great. It’s what you’ve wanted right?”

Somehow, the truth felt like the wrong answer, but she couldn’t bring herself to lie to him. “Yes,” she breathed, and she could see his face fall just the tiniest bit before he looked away.

“England’s pretty far away,” he said after a moment.

“I guess so.” She never had to pick her words carefully around Levi before, but speaking to him now felt like walking on eggshells. No, this was much more difficult than walking on eggshells. Eggshells were much less easy to break. Cautiously, she asks, “It’s nice, isn’t it? It would be nice to go together.”

He didn’t answer, not right away. It was difficult to gauge what he was feeling. His face could be unfathomable when he wanted it to be. What was he thinking about now?  His mother? His uncle? His friends? Her? “It’s what you deserve, Petra,” he says. His eyes flit downward before looking over at her with a gaze that’s almost wistful. “Still, it’s far.”

“We’ll make it work,” she told him, but she felt as if she were pleading. “It’ll all work out, Levi.”

“Of course,” he said, but she detected hesitancy in his voice. He leaned toward her, brushing his lips against her temple, but he pulled away too soon. If she had known it would be their last moment of tenderness, she would have pulled him closer and held onto him tighter, but he slipped away from her a little too easily, disappearing into the corner of their apartment to spend time on a work project that Petra’s not even sure existed.

He hasn’t really talked to her since then, but she’s never really talked to him about it either. Really, they were both at fault. Maybe there was the possibility of resolving it all if they only took the time to talk about it together, but there was a slim chance that it would only widen the distance between them even further. In the end, Petra decided that it was better not to talk about it. When the time came, they could work it out together, she thought, but now it’s a week before her flight and she’s not certain of anything anymore.

That night Petra came home early, or at least earlier than usual. The sun had just set and she had decided to take off for the night. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t keep putting off packing just because she was afraid of bumping into Levi and shoving the topic of Manchester in his face. Besides, there’s a chance that he would be out late again just like all those other nights. Somehow it doesn’t surprise her when she turns the key to their apartment and opens the door to find him in the living room, but all the boxes and suitcases lying on the floor do.

“What’s … going on?” Petra asks. She takes a cautious step forward. The entire space is unfamiliar to her now even though it’s exactly the same, only emptier. She had thought it was unfriendly before with all of its black and gray and white, but now it looks even more so with all of Levi’s things gone. When she turns to look at Levi, he just sits there on top of the coffee table they had picked out. His expression isn’t angry, isn’t sad, isn’t anything except … tired. It makes Petra want to scream and cry and beg all at once, but she can’t find the energy.

“I’m leaving,” Levi says warily. He pushes himself off the coffee table and reaches for the handle of a suitcase, pulling it out and dragging it behind him as he walks towards her. It’s scary to her how little emotion he has in his face. “I can’t stay here anymore.”

She should at least ask him why, but they’ve been through enough for her to know the answer without asking. It’s a little bit unfair, she thinks. He should have let her leave first. She’s not used to it like he is. Then again, maybe that’s why he’s leaving in the first place.

Out of everything they’ve been through, Petra thinks this is the worst. She would rather he had left with more of a fight. She wants screaming and fighting and crying. She wants him to slam the door behind him only to come back the next morning, crawling onto the side of the bed she had left open for him. He would stay far enough away that they couldn’t reach out to each other, but at least he would be close enough for her to know that he was there. And that was all the apology he would ever give her, but that was the only apology she ever needed.

He stops right in front of her, the suitcase still behind him. “I’ll come for the rest of my things tomorrow. It’ll be early in the morning, so you don’t have to worry,” he says. He pauses for a bit, choosing his next words carefully. “You don’t have to worry … about all of my things.”

She’s not worried about any of that - his things being in the way or bumping into him again when he came to collect the rest of his items - but she was worried about one thing. “What about you?” Petra asks. She tries to ask it as calmly as she can. She tries not to step in front of him, her futile attempt to stop him from leaving. “Where will you stay?”

Levi sighs and looks up at the ceiling, tired, before looking back at her. It looks as if he hasn’t slept in weeks. He’s never been much of a sleeper, but he looks especially tired now. “I’ll crash at Mike and Nanaba’s for a bit before finding a new apartment. I’d stay in this one but…” Levi gestures around them, at the apartment they once called home now only half-full. “It’s a little too big for just one person.”

She knows exactly what he means, but that doesn’t mean her heart doesn’t break anyway. She hadn’t really thought of what would happen to the apartment when she left. It was stupid of her to believe that he would continue living here even after she was gone. There are too many traces of her - of them - on every surface, every corner, every crevice of this space. It’s why she feels the smallest bit of relief knowing that she’ll be able to escape it soon. Why, then, does it hurt to know he feels the same way?

“I guess you’re leaving then,” she finally says.

“Yeah.” He takes one final look at Petra before pushing past her and reaching for the door. He turns the handle too abruptly, steps out too suddenly, leaves too quickly.

Wait, Petra wants to say. She should burst through the door and chase after him. She should be gripping his wrist so tightly that her knuckles turn white. She should be on her knees, begging him to stay while tears stream down her face. Please don’t leave me.

But it’s too late and he’s gone already, leaving her empty like the room she stands in. She doesn’t know how she gets through the rest of the day. The sun sets and night falls, but Petra doesn’t notice the time passing by. She’s not sure what she ate for dinner, if she even ate at all, and she’s not sure how she ended up in bed or how she managed to fall asleep. Vaguely, she recalls setting an alarm, 5 AM or some other ungodly time, in the hopes of catching Levi before her flight at the end of the week, but when she stumbles out of the bedroom, she finds the apartment vacated except for the things he had left behind.

The days after that become more and more painful. Everywhere Petra looks, she finds a reminder of him. The kitchen that he cleaned meticulously every night. The bathroom sink where he cut himself shaving once because he was too busy looking over at her from the corner of his eye. The living room couch they slept on half the time because they were too tired from work to walk to the bedroom. It becomes so unbearable that she briefly thinks about renting a room at a hotel for a day or two, but she knows leaving this place will be even more painful. Instead, she wraps herself up in the sheets where his scent still lingers and sleeps as often as she can.

Somehow she makes it to the end of the week, even makes it to the airport, all her belongings packed and their old furniture picked up yesterday by the thrift store on the corner of the street. She didn’t have to worry about the apartment or their lease. Levi had already worked it out with the landlord before he left. Of course, he did. She has tried to hate him, but she’s found it impossible. It might just be easier for her to keep remembering until she finally forgets the curve of his cheek or the way his bangs fall in his eyes. Yes, she thinks as she closes her eyes, letting the escalator carry her to her next destination. It can’t hurt to remember him for just a little while longer.

It wasn’t supposed to end, but there are some things that are beyond their control. But at least she has memories. When she’s lonely, she can remember them with their fingers interlocked, her leaning over and whispering in Levi’s ear. When she’s sad, she can remember the way it felt when he stroked her hair, tucking it behind her ear so that he could see her face better. When she’s close to sleep, she can dream of him, the way he said his name with the slightest hint of a smile on his face.

Petra.

For a moment, Petra thinks she hears his voice and, although she knows it’s impossible, she turns anyway. She searches for Levi’s face in a sea of strangers, and she feels the hollow in her chest grow even deeper when she comes up with nothing.

Petra steps off the escalator and takes a few steps before stopping. Closing her eyes, she takes a deep breath. She clears her head of Levi, but she knows he’ll return in her thoughts later tonight. With a sigh, she opens her eyes and takes a step, finally leaving.  

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 3 Pt 1

They saw each other Friday nights at nine for tea for the next few months while Gustaf was in town. They kept it short and sweet and to comfortable topics. He had yet to ask her about their father and she figured he was respecting her privacy which only endeared her to him more.

She missed him while he was overseas at work. She had come to rely on her weekly tea dates to destress and unwind. He was the first real friend she had made since coming home.

They had both started to relax around each other. More a friendship than anything romantic at this point. She was fine with just being friends if that’s all he wanted, all the kids wanted. But she craved more.

It was a fairytale fantasy for now but a nice way to escape her reality, escape the kids. A nice fantasy of a life she wanted and was so far removed from the one she had.

It was during one of their tea dates she decided to test the waters a little. She felt the kids were at least ready.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” She asked hesitantly and he looked at her and shook his head.

“Nothing that can’t be rearranged, why what’s up?” He played it calm even though his stomach tensed.

“We’re going to the park for a picnic and wondered if you’d like to join us?” She wanted him to come, but she wasn’t ready for the possible rejection.

“Are you ok with that?” He looked at her sensing the apprehension.

“Yes, I’d like you to meet them properly, as our neighbor, a friend.” She fidgeted with her teacup and he watched those slender fingers jitter with nerves and anxiety.

“I’d like that.” He nodded and ran a finger lightly across hers that had wrapped tightly around her cup. His heart leapt at the contact and her fingers relaxed.

“You’re nervous.” More an observation than a question.

She blew a breath out. “Yeah a little.” Not just about tomorrow she thought, but about the finger running along hers that had set off a fire storm inside her. She wasn’t going to add that he was the first guy she was introducing them to, not yet.

“Only if you’re ready and ok with it. I’m in no rush Sildie.” His voice was that low seductive tone that did all sorts of things to her system.

“I know. I just want them to know there’s someone close to us that I trust, they can trust, just in case.” She looked at him and saw those kind dusty blue eyes lock on hers. “Just in case something happens to me. They have no one I can trust fully.” Her voice was barely there as she pushed out what she had to ask.

Ah hell she thought, seeing the surprise ripple through his entire body. This is where he runs. She should have waited.

He thought very carefully before he spoke. She was asking for more than just a day out with the kids. He was fine with it but he had to reassure the anxious mother seated across from him that she could trust him.

“You and the kids can call on me anytime, for anything, whether I’m in the country or not.” And he was deadly serious. He’d drop it all for her and come running if she asked, if the kids asked. “Give me you phone.” He said softly and held out his hand.

She hesitated not thinking he was serious until his eyebrow arched and his hand stayed out. She dug it out of her bag and placed it in his palm. Her hands were still shaking and he saw her try to calm them when she fisted them in her lap.

He put his cell number in her contacts list and showed her.

“My agents number is in there too and my PA.” He showed her each one. “If you can’t get a hold of me, they can by other means and whatever means necessary.” He said gently and handed her phone back to her. “I’ll talk with them on Monday and let them know that if you or the kids call it’s an emergency and to come get me.”

She nodded not quite sure how to take his unconditional generosity. “Thank you.” She was expecting him to be “thanks but no thanks” and leave.

“Anytime, day or night Sildie.” He said gently. “Call.” Call even if you just want to talk was what he almost added but kept it in reserve for later. One step at a time. He watched her carefully. Call so I can hear your voice he asked silently so I can talk to you and take away the pain that keeps you awake at night.

“Thank you. I know it’s a burden but...” she said quietly and looked away. She couldn’t get over his sweetness. “If I’m stepping out of line and asking too much...” She blurted it out. “I don’t want to take advantage of you, or the friendship we have.” And she didn’t, it was the last thing she wanted. She sucked at this and it all tumbled out in a big mess. She probably sounded like the sleep deprived mother she was.

“You’re not a burden. Neither are the kids. It’s not stepping out of line or taking advantage of anything asking for some backup. If you need help, you call, or bash on the door until it gets my ass out of bed.” He gave her a slight smile. He knew what she was trying to say.

“You’re too sweet for your own good you know. Lawyer talking.” She smiled and gave him a one shoulder shrug.

“I’ve been told that before.” He said smiling slightly embarrassed.

“But it’s who you are.” She said and could see his own pain surface.

“Yeah.” He sighed.

Someone took advantage of that sweetness she thought. She knew he was no saint, no one was, even her, but to take advantage of someone’s kindness and compassion to hurt them was something she could never understand.

“Sorry, the lawyer in me is blunt. A little too blunt sometimes. I’ll try and reign her in.” She left it alone. It was none of her business and she wouldn’t press him just as he hadn’t pressed her.

“Don’t.” He shook his head. “It’s what I like about you. Blunt, you don’t sugar coat shit. You’re real. It’s refreshing actually. Dare I say, normal.” He glanced at her and saw it was her turn to be embarrassed. “Now I’ve gone and embarrassed you.” He smiled at her over his cup.

“I guess we’re even.” She chuckled.

“I guess so. What time tomorrow? For the picnic.” He asked eager to steer the conversation out of murky waters.

“Around eleven. We’ll walk down and have the afternoon there. You don’t have to stay all the time if you have better things to do.” She was still anxious, it had the potential to blow up in her face and not only upset Gustaf but the kids as well.

“I’ll be here at eleven and you can decide when I leave. You know the moods of your kids better than me and I don’t want to overstay my welcome.” He said honestly. “If it freaks them out we can try again another day. There’s no rush, no pressure.”

She nodded. “I hate to kick you out but I need sleep.” She was bone weary tonight even though she wanted him to stay. She liked his company.

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow.” His smile always hit her hard. He was a shy goofball under it all and fuck it she loved that about him.

She leaned against the doorframe as they talked some more. She could smell the scent of him and wanted to wrap her arms around him and snuggle into his chest. To have him hold her. That’s what she missed most, being held by strong, stable arms.

He had to fight the overwhelming urge to kiss her. Occasionally she would bite her bottom lip which only drove him to madness and a raging hard on. Another cold shower and taking matters into his own hands again tonight.

“Shut and lock the door so I know you and the kids are safe.” He murmured and took a step back stuffing his hands in his pockets before they touched her without his consent. He had to put some distance in there or he would devour that mouth too.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She smiled.

“Yes you will.” He smiled and turned to leave as her door closed.

She leaned her forehead against the door and breathed out slowly. She wanted to believe he liked her, liked the kids. “I guess I’ll find out tomorrow how serious you are.” She muttered.

It was one of those perfect days that only came once or twice a year. Overcast, not too hot, not too cold, and a slight breeze that made it just right for a day at the park.

The knock at the door had her heart racing, stomach churning. Here we go she thought.

“Hey, come on in.” She said and gave him a smile that told him she was every bit as nervous as he was.

“Boys this is Gustaf. Gustaf, boys. Brendan is the tall lanky one. The twins, good luck telling them apart because even I get it mixed up, Finley and Liam, and little Lily who you’ve already met.”

Gustaf gave them a slight wave and a hello. He would wait for them to initiate something. Kids were calculating and made up their own minds about someone and a situation very quickly. He was just along for the ride today unless something shifted. Then it was play it by ear and hopefully not sink or swim.

“Do you live next door?” Liam asked in the only way a six year old can. Blunt and to the point.

“I do.”

“Oh ok.” Happy with the answer he went to his room and collected the soccer ball.

Kids were simple really Gustaf thought. Be truthful, don’t bullshit them, and don’t treat them like a kid that can’t think. They were smarter than adults gave them credit for.

All packed and ready they squeezed into the elevator and rode down. The boys were already chattering to each other, Lily happily gurgling away in the stroller. So far so good she thought. They didn’t outright tell him to go away, or be rude. The only one she was worried about was Brendan. He was sensitive, quiet, and at that age where this could swing either way in a heartbeat.

As they got off the elevator Gustaf discreetly squeezed her hand and she let out a breath. She squeezed back. He was just as nervous about this as she was. At least she had a friend to go down with the ship if it started sinking.

The boys would run ahead and then wait for Gustaf and Sildie to catch up with the stroller. They hit the park at a dead run, so full of energy. Brendan was half way there, stopped, and came back.

“Would you come and play too?” He asked Gustaf, that quiet reserved boy plucking up enough courage to ask.

The kid was shy at the best of times so for him to ask took some balls on the kids part. He was at that awkward age and it shattered her to know he would go through the tough times of growing up to be a man without his father.

Gustaf looked at Sildie and she gave him a slight nod. Brendans face lit up and he ran with Gustaf to where the twins were waiting with the soccer ball. That was a better reaction than she could ever have hoped for.

“Sink or swim hey little lady.” She said to Lily parking the stroller under their usual tree.

She sat there against the tree, baby on her lap and watched the boys with Gustaf. They were tentative at first but an hour or so in they were all playing as if they’d known each other for years.

The four of them came jogging back panting and in need of a drink. Gustaf sat next to Sildie and let the boys talk. Once hydrated the three boys went off to play again. Liam tugged at Gustaf’s hand for him to come too.

“Maybe in a little bit ok? I’m not as young as you guys.” He laughed.

“Ok.” Liam was the happy go lucky twin, not as serious. He shrugged and went to join his brothers.

“I don’t know how you do it.” He said once Liam was out of ear shot still breathing heavily.

“A day at a time.” She said softly. “Everything go ok out there? I sort of dumped you in it and left you in the lurch.” She bounced Lily on her lap and the kid smiled a toothless grin. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. This is what it’s all about today anyway. I think we were all nervous but it’s fine now.” He watched her out of the corner of his eye. “They’re good kids.”

“They are when they’re asleep.” She chuckled and she couldn’t help her heart flutter at his smile.

The boys came back to Gustaf and Sildie when they were hungry. They all ate and talked and for the first time in half a year Sildie felt that she could relax and enjoy their time instead of being so scrambled and flustered. She watched him interact with them. So at ease, like they were his own.

She felt the tears rim her eyes and struggled to keep them from falling. She missed him, they missed their father. The whole situation was just a crap chute.

“Ama you ok?’ Brendan asked quietly as he sat next to her.

“I’m fine.” She said smiling at him. “You having fun?”

“Yea.” His grin was wide. It was the happiest she’d seen him in a while. “Gustaf’s pretty awesome.” He said quietly. “And he’s Floki.” He whispered. “From Vikings.”

“I wondered when you’d figure that out.” She whispered. “You’re a smart one. We can’t tell people where he lives though ok?” She said in a low serious tone. “Not even, he lives next door.”

“No I know. It would suck for him if everyone showed up at his door all the time.”

She played with his longish hair. He looked so much like him it tore her apart inside.

“Do you like him?” He asked close to her ear and low so Gustaf wouldn’t hear. “You know ’like’ like him.” He said and tried to keep the awkwardness out of his voice.

“Just between you and me, and the twins, because I know you’ll tell them anyway. Yes, I ’like’ like him.” She whispered and tweaked his nose.

“Have you kissed him yet?” His grin was wide.

“No, nor will I.” She said flatly with a little less conviction than she had hoped for when talking to him about this.

“Why not?” He shrugged.

Ahh to be twelve nearly thirteen and oblivious she thought sarcastically.

“Because it’s complicated and we’re not ready for that step.” She touched his cheek.

“What do you mean we?”

“I have to think about the four of you. I can’t just date anyone. You all need to be comfortable with who I date too.” She said. “And, I don’t think the feeling is mutual.”

“Oh, I didn’t think of that.” He said and his brow crinkled.

“You don’t have to think of those things B, that’s my job.” She smiled. So much like his father. “It’s my job to keep you safe, protect you.”

“But who protects you?” He asked honestly.

“Me.” She smiled at him. “Once you’re an adult you’ll understand but for now go be a kid and help your brothers out.” She said and nodded her head toward them as she saw the twins were attempting to wrestle Gustaf to the ground.

He stood up. “Oh and he likes you. He just doesn’t hide it very well.” Brendan grinned. “He can’t keep his eyes off you.” He added and bolted to tackle Gustaf leaving Sildie with her mouth hanging open. The kid missed nothing.

She sat there dumbfounded. Out of the mouths of babes. He liked her? Surely the kid was misinterpreting it.

“Did you know about this missy?” She asked Lily and the baby squealed. “Thanks for letting me know.” She chuckled. “You just want him all to yourself, I see how it is.”

“See how what is?” Gustaf flopped down beside her panting.

“Nothing, just working out a problem with my pint sized shrink here.” She said and Lilly gurgled happily.

“You look like you’re having fun.” She smirked.

“I’ve missed rough housing.” He said and drank deeply from his water bottle.

“Large family?” She asked.

“Six of us. Five boys one girl. Though she’s no pushover either.” He smiled. “How about you? Large family?”

“No, small one. Just me and my brother.” Now just her she thought. “Would you mind holding her I have to find a bathroom.”

“Sure. Come here Lily bear.” He said and clapped his hands together. Lily smiled and went to him without fuss. Another sign he was a good man.

She made it to the ladies room before the tears fell. She had to get it out. No wonder he was so good with so many kids, a family of eight. She still felt so inadequate, so awkward. She wanted to hate him for being so at ease with them when she struggled at it everyday, but she couldn’t. She didn’t have that in her. She was literally flying by the seat of her pants with it all, winging it, and she was drowning.

And did he like her? She wanted that to be true but how would it affect everything else? Her mind raced, living arrangements, their work schedules, the kids. How would they make that work she scoffed?

She missed him. She missed her old life. It was less complicated. She loved the kids too but it was different. She felt the panic rise now and let it. It needed out and wouldn’t be contained any longer. Who was she kidding to think she could handle this on her own?

She sat and breathed. She let the tears fall, the grief wash over her, the failure consume her. She let it run its course and focused on not passing out.

Once it was purged from her system she splashed water on her face and took a few more deep calming breaths before heading back. He’d see it but there wasn’t anything she could do about it.

He could tell she was upset walking back. The way she walked, the slump of her head, the tense shoulders. Was it something he’d said or done? He hoped not. He thought the day was going well.

“You ok?” He asked gently as she sat back down.

“I’m fine.” Her voice was quiet as Lily lurched herself at Sildie.

“I guess she wants you now.” Gustaf laughed. Fine my ass he thought. He could see she’d been crying.

With the baby on her lap she sat back and watched the boys silently.

“Did I upset you?” He asked carefully and kept his eyes on the boys.

“No, it’s not you, it’s not this. It’s just...” she sighed out. “Stuff. For lack of a better word. It’s complicated.”

“Will you tell me?” He asked.

“One day, not now.” She said shortly with a lawyers finality.

And that he thought was the end of that. She’d shut him down, shut him out. He couldn’t and wouldn’t push or that would end the fragile friendship they had worked so hard to build already.

“Sorry that was rude.” She said gently. “It’s emotional shit and it chokes me up.” She added and willed herself to not lose it again.

So the lawyer was vulnerable he thought. She didn’t like showing it but she was vulnerable under it all. He’d work on that, he was a patient man. He would let her lean on him, be vulnerable, and heal.

“It’s ok.” He said.

“No, it’s not. I need to not lash out at people who are handy.” She said and felt like a bitch.

His knuckles brushed against hers. The light touch, the small gesture that simply said I’m here for you. That was enough to break her in two right there. He was so giving, without question, without conditions.

She craved that touch. Soft, gentle, loving, and overwhelmingly compassionate.

“It’s fine Sildie, I don’t mind you blowing off steam. We all have to at some point or it eats you up and spits you out.” He said and pulled his hand back as the boys approached.

“AMA!” Finley called.” Can Gustaf stay and play video games?” He said softer now as he sat at her feet. “Pleeeease.”

“Maybe you should ask Gustaf. He might have other things he needs to do today than be your entertainment.” She said chuckling and smiled slightly at Gustaf. Please for all that is holy say yes she begged him in her mind.

“Sure. I’ve got nowhere else to be today. Except laundry and dishes. Yuck!” He said and pulled a funny face at the twins, the boys laughed. “As long as you’re ok with it?” He said softly and looked at Sildie. He wanted to just kiss all that pain away that she just tucked back in and shielded from the kids.

“It’s fine. We need to pack up and start heading home though. This little lady will be close to nap time by the time we get there.” She said quietly.

The boys and Gustaf packed up the picnic. Gustaf told her to sit down and that they had it under control. He was trying to give her a break, someone to share the load with. It was something constructive he could do for her.

Sildie sat a now fussy Lily in the stroller and Gustaf offered a hand to help her up. She took it and felt that jolt go through her.

As he pulled her to her feet she over balanced and was suddenly pressed against him. She had to swallow the moan and shudder of arousal that shot through her at the contact. Those large hands held her steady. Hands she had desperately wanted on her.

He slowly let go of her making it known he didn’t want to. His hands caressed along her hip, lingering before the contact was broken. He could feel her breathing hard, he wasn’t exactly steady himself. She’d felt it too, that pull, the need.

Maybe Brendan was right she thought. Maybe he did like her. He wasn’t exactly rushing to let her go. She gripped the stroller white knuckled and started walking. She saw Gustaf stuff his hands in his pockets and smile at her.

The boys chattered and laughed with Gustaf almost all the way home. The last block Gustaf walked with Sildie. They talked quietly both determined not to mention the moment their bodies pressed together. They both knew what it meant and how it would complicate things further.

Once they were inside the twins set up the x box. Brendan helped Gustaf unpack and do dishes while Sildie handled the now fussy and overtired Lily.

“You help her out a lot.” Gustaf said quietly to Brendan.

He shrugged. “She can’t do it all on her own.” He said and looked over toward Lily’s room. “Do you like her?” He asked tentatively. He’d never been so bold to ask a question like that with someone, especially an adult.

“Do I like Sildie?” Gustaf asked resting against the counter so he could see Sildie when she came out. “Yes. I like her a lot actually.” He admitted honestly.

“I mean ’like’ like.” Brendan

Gustaf smiled and the chuckle was a low rumble. “Oh I knew what you meant.” He muttered and playfully elbowed the kid.

Trust one of them to be smart enough to catch on Gustaf thought.

“Keep it to yourself for the moment ok?” He asked and Brendan nodded. “Things are already complicated enough for her, I don’t want to make thing any more difficult than they have to be.”

“You love her don’t you?” The kids voice was choked and barely a whisper.

“Yes.” Gustaf admitted quietly. “But it’s not as simple as that.” He sat the dried container on the counter and studied the kid a moment. Sildie wasn’t the only one hurting here.

“Can I be honest with you?” He asked Brendan. “man to man.” The kid was nearly thirteen and technically the man of the house. At least that’s how he saw it.

Brendan nodded and squared his shoulders. He had the kids attention now.

“To love her Brendan I have to love the four of you too. I can’t have one without the other, it’s all five of you or none of you and that’s why it’s complicated. It has the potential to be something beautiful yet at the same time brutally messy. I’m trying to keep the mess to a minimum. I’m trying to do it the right way because I don’t want to hurt any of you.” He said softly. “I care about all of you. Does that make any sense?” He watched the kid carefully.

Brendan nodded. “It does.”

“Are you ok if I date her.”

Brendan nodded. “I just don’t want to see her get hurt.”

“Me either.” Gustaf said and tapped him on the arm as Sildie came back in the room and the end of the conversation. “Not a word now. I’ll take care of it.”

Brendan nodded and got back to the dishes.

The boys and Gustaf piled onto the couch and played games. Sildie was determined to get though a mountain of work while the kids were occupied. She may even get to bed earlier tonight.

He was half playing and half watching Sildie. He could see her mind working at whatever case she was neck deep in. She’d captivated him. She only came up for air when Lily woke.

Leaving the depositions on the table she changed Lily and snuggled her close as she walked back out. Teething was no fun and Lily made sure everyone knew about it. Gustaf let the boys play the next round and went to help Sildie.

“Want me to take her while you do that?” He asked as she juggled the baby on one hand and heating her bottle with the other.

“Sure, but she may not go to you.” She said gently.

Gustaf held out his hands for Lily to see and she pushed them away and burrowed into Sildie.

“Nope, not this time.” He said with a grin.

“It’s all good, we have this down to a hot mess now anyway.” She chuckled.

“Ama can we have pizza?” Finley asked. “And can Gustaf stay?”

“Well, I’ll think about the first and the guy’s right here Finn you could ask him yourself.” She laughed and turned to check on the bottle.

Finn padded across the floor and wrapped his arms around Gustaf’s legs. He had to crane his neck all the way back to look at him.

“Can you stay for dinner?” He asked.

Gustaf looked at Sildie.

“Up to you. I’ll understand if you’ve had enough for one day.” She said and smiled.

“I’ll stay.” He said and winked at Sildie.

The kid jumped all over the place he was so happy.

“On one condition.” She said and the noise died down. “When I tell you to go shower and bed you do it no arguments.” Nods came from each boy. “I mean it. You argue or whine and we can’t do this again.”

Sildie sat at the table and fed Lily while compiling more of her notes. Gustaf sat with her after the ruckus with the boys had died down.

“Sorry, I’m trying to get ahead while the monsters are occupied.” She said and kept plowing through it even though Lily was trying to grab at her pen.

He sat the tea down next to her and her hand stopped mid sentence. She didn’t even remember the kettle going on.

“Figured you could use one.” He said.

“Thank you.” She was a little shocked at the gesture.

“Want me to take her while you get it done?” He asked and let Lily grab his finger. It caused his fingers to brush against Sildie and he couldn’t help but want to be with her. He wanted more than just today.

“You don’t mind?” She said and left her arm where it was, simply for the contact of his fingers on her skin.

“Not at all.” His gaze met hers and he smiled shyly.

She put her pen down and slowly moved her arm aside so he could take Lily from her lap. Lily squealed and laughed as Gustaf set her in his lap and tickled her gently. Sildie sipped her tea and marveled at the sight. He was really good with her.

She glanced at the boys who were engrossed in their game and then got back to it. He sat there with her and occasionally let his fingers brush hers which made her smile. He was starting something and she let him.

“I’ll be back.” He said and stood with Lily. “The boys need reinforcements.”

As he stood he brushed his fingers down her arm and gently squeezed her shoulder. The tight knot of stress in her belly eased. The kids were fine, she was fine, she could let the tension go. His unconditional kindness still blew her away.

She watched him take Lily and sit on the couch with the boys. He juggled Lily and played with the boys quite content to just be here. She could get used to this. It felt normal. Normal with less stress.

She was brought out of her work by his fingers brushing hers to stop her pen from moving. She looked up at him. Those eyes she thought, deep pools of Viking blue.

He handed her a pizza box which she took and then glanced at the boys chowing down to their own pizza.

“You bought the pizza?” She said.

“You were busy.” He winked. “Besides I got to find out how you and the boys like your pizza, which is very important.” His smirk made her smile.

She finished her paragraph and he sat beside her with a content Lily in his arms. He stilled her hand with his.

“Eat Sildie.” He said gently.

“Did you change her?” She asked when she realized how many hours had flown past.

“Not my first diaper.” He chuckled. “Eat, relax. I’m happy to be here and chill with you guys, especially if it makes you’re day easier.”

“Thank you. Because of you being here I may actually get a few hours away from work tomorrow.” She said.

“Well then, all worth it.” He smiled. “Eat.”

With pizza devoured, Gustaf made sure the mess was cleaned up before the games resumed. Lily started to fuss around what he assumed was her normal bed time which meant the boys would be heading to bed soon too.

He was debating whether to kiss her tonight. He wanted to and felt she wanted him to. The jolt to his system at her pressed against him earlier still rolled around in his mind.

She heard Lily fuss and finished the paragraph she was working on.

“I can put her down if you want but she may not go down with me.” Gustaf said.

“I’ll get her.” She said and looked at the man holding Lily when she stacked the work aside ready for the morning.

“Come here Lily bear. You’ve had enough for one day huh little lady?” She said and Lily sobbed into her shoulder.

“Night Lily.” Gustaf said softly and rubbed her back.

During the exchange Gustaf brushed against her, that jolt firing through her again. She felt his hand at the small of her back as she walked off to bathe Lily and she shivered. She couldn’t control it.

He smothered the smile from her reaction. He’d felt it too. He sat with the boys and continued to play. He was trying very unsuccessfully to keep the grin off his face.

An hour after their usual bedtime she called the day to an end. She didn’t want to but they needed bed and routine and she needed to be alone with Gustaf. She needed to unwind, to maybe start something. Hell she didn’t know what she wanted anymore. There was too much emotion wrapped up in the few hours they’d spent together today.

The twins started to whine but one sentence changed it all.

“You promised.” She warned. “Do you want to do this again?” She asked and the twins nodded and they zipped it. “Bath and bed please. No messing around, in, out, bed.”

“I’ll take a shower.” Brendan said and headed to the bathroom with the twins. He knew the rules and she could count on him to get the twins squared away in the tub.

Gustaf put the kettle on for tea while Sildie tidied her work up so the table was clear for breakfast.

“You need an office.” He said setting the teacups on the counter.

“Yeah, I need an extra bedroom too for Lily.” She said. “One of those it was close to work and in my price range. It works though.”

“That’s all that matters.” He said and thought of his apartment next door which was three times the size of hers with four bedrooms and two separate offices.

She sat and blew out a breath. “Thank you for today.” She said quietly.

“I should be thanking you. I haven’t had that much fun in a long time.” He turned the kettle off before it whistled.

He sat at the table with her and placed the teapot in between them to steep.

“Can I spend the day with you tomorrow?” He asked gently and reached out to touch her fingertips with his. “Just like today, here at home?”

“It couldn’t have been a bad day if you want to come back.” She laughed.

“Or maybe the kids come next door for a movie and you can chill with some alone time? Or come with us?”

“I wouldn’t inflict them on your home Gustaf. They’re not house trained.” And that got him laughing.

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