#i honestly dont even have a clue what im doing posting memes honestly

[brain-in-reverie]

Local kid thanks man for sunshine instantly regrets it

[nialltlynch]

For the writer ask meme - 8 & 20?

oh thank you 💟💟

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

I talked about this a little bit but I gave it some thought after trying to read last night and, if you'll allow me a moment to spiral, I think what it really comes down to is I do reading and writing for different reasons. they fulfill a different aspect of creativity for me. sure, they both end up in the same creative well, but the actual nerves that get tickled are different (this isn't scientific, dont call me on this, im bullshitting!). they're interwined, for sure, but very different. writing is more about processing and organizing my own viewpoints, my own feelings. reading is more about stretching those viewpoints. I want to be argued with, I love having a debate. and reading is having a long drawn out debate where I wish to be convinced of something. convince me this world is real. convince me what these characters are feeling is valid.

and so I think if I read the same as I wrote, I would essentially be reinforcing my own ideas. and while there's not anything inherently wrong with that (because yes sometimes I do just want an idea to be repeated to me over and over again) I dont think that's necessarily where I want my head to be always. and so I consciously make an effort to read outside of what I write. reading is breadth and writing is depth, if that makes sense.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

ahhhh ok so im very bad at this because I dont think I have enough long form works to pull from so im gonna talk about magpie for a second because ive been thinking about it since I went back and read through what I had posted and subsequently forgot every single thread and where they were all headed (my notes do not make the path anymore enlightened) EXCEPT I remember having background declansey feelings.

so, long story short, magpie is an au where niall lives and builds his girllboss underground empire with declan and ronan and the story itself is sort of how that all falls apart for Varying Reasons. one of which is baby boy, patricide-fantasizing declan lynch who is an excellent right hand man, perfectly groomed successor, and seemingly loyal to a fault (shit oh my god this is kind of a major spoiler but I dont even know if ill finish the fic so OH WELL WE'RE TALKING ABOUT IT anyway) has been long conning niall's eventual downfall. which, for him, started out as simply disarming niall and effectively taking over the business himself, but as the story progress turns to him having to make the choice of if he's going to kill his dad or not. (he's totally down for it, btw. just. so much rage.)

ANYWAY all of this would have been happening in the background and further obfiscated by ronan's pov which is both dimissive and completely misunderstands basically everyone and their dynamics. I feel like I teasted a bit too much with the declansey mention at the beginning of this paragraph but yeah gansey is there and plotting with declan because *checks notes...discretely crumples notes and throws them in the trash* it's a work in progress. the point though is that I had an absolute blast weaving these little things into declan's interactions because. ronan isn't really wrong, per se. he just doesn't have the whole picture. and honestly that was such a fun little breadcrumb trail it might be the very reason I go back to writing the story even though I kind of spoiled the whole thing. yeah

send me a meta writer ask!

[peeksoon]

check in tag ✅

i was tagged by @moonsehyoon uwu ty

1. why did you choose your url?

because i love byeongkwan’s cute lil leopard print bumblebee crop top

2. any side blogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

this is my sideblog lmao, i just reblog memes on my main, i made this initially for dramas but then i fell down the rabbit hole of kpop

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

2012/2013 i think?

4. do you have a queue tag?

not anymore im too lazy, and making a queue sucked the fun out of tumblr for me

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i cant remember honestly, i was just bored and followed a lot of aesthetic blogs, i spent hours looking up themes

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because byeongkwan

7. why did you choose your header?

(see previous answer)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

some post about ram and king from my engineer i think, or else the kpop thot quiz i made

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i havent a clue tbh, its hard to tell with sideblogs

10. how many followers do you have?

like 300 or something on this sideblog, and like 900 on main but the majority of those are probably abandoned accounts now

11. how many people do you follow?

like 700 or 800 i think

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

plenty

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

maybe once a day, if even, two of my friends are ccs on here and share their gifsets in our discord gc so i reblog them and then see random posts on my dash after i exit out, so i reblog a couple and then close the app and forget about it again dnjdhhitd i use twitter a lot more these days, much more interaction

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

nope

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

i dont enjoy guilt tripping people into reblogging things

16. do you like tag games?

yes theyre funnnn, i just always forget about them for way too long

17. do you like ask games?

yesss i love them

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

ummmmm ccs probably

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

the first two people i tagged below ;)

20. tags?

@wabisaba @ljaebeom @hyukaheart @choi-hae and anyone else who wants to do this ig

[ucnescere]

What’s a good way to start talking to you if people are scared to? What’s a tip you would give to people trying to get to know you?

Munday Asks (anxiety edition) | accepting

What’s a good way to start talking to you if people are scared to?

Honestly, the best way to start a conversation with me is to come with like. ideas, headcanons, concepts, even questions? I am absolutely garbage at holding conversations when the starting line is just a greeting, but if you come at me with enthusiasm and something u wanna share/ask me about? im there, 100%.

I’ve also founded entire friendships online based on nothing but sharing fanart so theres another hint lmao.

Lastly, I promise I’m so chill. the chillest. if im following you? i want to interact. if i havent poked you its probably because im having a hard time thinking of something i can approach you with, like a plot (i am... bad at coming up with plots by myself).I swear I have absolutely no fuckin’ clue what im doing pls ive been here a few weeks at most pls.

I’m also new to this rpc, and i’ve already seen some stuff that makes me a little wary of throwing myself at every account out there, so my following list is short right now! my base assumption is that everyone else is much more entrenched in the comm than i am and i dont wanna step on toes!

(also sometimes i get distracted and don’t see... notifications / forget to acknowledge them, this isnt you, its totally on me, im an airhead. if you tagged me in something and i didn’t acknowledge it, poke me.)

TL;DR: have something you wanna share if you want to start a proper convo with me! It could be neat fanart, a plot idea or headcanon, or even just a comment abt something i’ve posted, but i will 100% respond much more enthusiastically to that than a simple “hey”,

and  regardless of what it is, i’ll read it with an open mind bc i know that sending that first message is... terrifying sometimes.

What’s a tip you would give to people trying to get to know you?

im!! very bad at asking questions! I love hearing abt headcanons and plot ideas but rsd makes me nervous about prying or irritating people. If you really want to share a concept or tell me about something, you can absolutely send me a text wall. i will read it. i want to read it. 

Related: I have rsd! sometimes its a bitch and it makes interacting even with people i’ve talked to previously incredibly difficult!! i will second and third and fourth-guess myself into eternity.

another tip: i love!!! learning abt people!! but not on tumblr. if you want to get to know me, your best options are to send in asks when i post munday memes (like this!) or to add me on discord. the small size of the tumblr messenger makes me shy away from longer, coherent messages and actual conversation so i just end up... screaming. plotting and indepth character development are more likely to happen on discord as well, actually.

TL;DR: If u wanna get to know me (which i am not opposed to at all), your best bet is to add me on discord - and to realize that while i absolutely want to interact with you, sometimes i get stuck in my head.

[cottonsecurityblanket]

So I watched Citrus ⚠SPOILER WARNING⚠

And I have issues with it. Now Ive never read the manga a day in life. Ive seen fan art of it however and knew it existed but never what it was about. If im missing out on some parts message me and explain please. I’m not going to hate the show. I don’t hate the show at all. I just have issues with it. Now here’s my thoughts.

Note there’s only 5 episodes on Crunchyroll but here’s my thoughts so far

So Mei is the Class President and has been since she was a first year. Her grandfather is a Chairman of the school and Mei’s father marries Yuzu’s mother and they move to another district. For some reason Yuzu’s mom forgets to tell her that she’s got a younger step sister and for some reason Yuzu’s never seen her new stepfather. But Im gonna ignore that.

Yuzu wants to fall in love and get a first kiss and get a boyfriend. Nice plan for a high schooler. So she walks in and this girl with springy pig tails named Momokino gives her shit. Mei comes up and feels up and down Yuzu to get her phone from her pocket. Later on in the day she meets her friend Harumin. Harumin explains to her that everyones not outgoing and follows the strict rules. Oh and um everyone looks EXACTLY the same. Black and/or purpley hair, beige top, greenish plaid skirt, all shy and reserved.

So it’s implied all the girls in this all girl school fuck each other before they get married off to someone after high school. So fast forward and Yuzu finds the hot teacher and Mei kissing and later it’s said theyre supposed to be married to each other. Later in the day Mei goes to Yuzu and her moms apartment and then Yuzu making an effort to talk to Mei and get along as step sisters. Mei ignores her this entire time so Yuzu has to talk about a subject that’ll strike a nerve to get conversation. Mei takes her down and kisses her.

At that moment I do the Oprah gif where she’s squinting. It’s not incest cuz they’re not real sisters but I’m sure a good majority would argue it is and I can understand that but lets ignore the incest is wincest meme right now.

At this point Im sure Im missing a lot of aspects in the anime and manga. I know that there’s a good following for the manga but i haven’t seen much for the anime cept a few screenshots and comparisons to the manga. This is what I think about the characters and plot watching it blind I guess.

Mei….bothers me. Characters like her I have an issue with because they always initiate the first move like kissing them or some shit and then are always confused about why the Protag is so confused and can’t control their emotions. I don’t usually watch romance anime like this in fact the only one I liked was My Little Monster and Sakura Kiss but that’s another thing. I get it Mei you and your dad have a bad relationship and haven’t seen him in five years and you live alone. Alright I get it but that doesn’t give you the right to fuck with Yuzu like that.

I’ve seen a post that Mei is literally sexually assaulting Yuzu and that it’s a toxic relationship but I don’t wanna go that far. Ill just chalk it up to anime being anime. It’s not the first time we’ve seen characters force a kiss but back to the topic on hand.

Mei in the anime is such an unlikeable character. In Episode 3 Yuzu sees that Mei’s stuffed animal is ripped and she sews it back together as if nothing happened. Later in the episode when Yuzu has to stay at school late to clean the bathroom Mei goes through her stuff and finds a Manga named Peach Sisters and confronts her about it saying stuff like “if someone saw you with this theyd be disgusted” or “you should be ashamed.” so Yuzu kisses her and says all this is happening because she kissed her.

Finally we address the situation. Yuzu is absolutely right. All the shit that Mei detests so much is all her fault. She could’ve engaged in conversation and at least put in the same effort Yuzu was putting in and they would’ve bonded making the “romance” between them understanding. But no. Mei just completely ignores Yuzu and gives her the short end of the stick.

In episode 3 Mei says the only reason why she kisses her multiple times in the other episodes is to shut her up. But in episode 2 when the two girls fall in water Mei kisses and licks Yuzu’s neck while Yuzu is thinking about why she kissed her and Mei says “You looked like you wanted me to touch you.”

So what’s the truth Mei? Are you taking advantage of your older sister or are you not?

I hate Sasuke so much. Mei is starting to get close to that amount of hate. Yuzu is doing mental backflips to figure out her feelings and what to do while Mei is doing everything except thinking.

Oh yeah in episode 2 when Yuzu AGAIN tries to make an effort on what’s going on with Mei offering to help, Mei throws her on the bed and starts ripping her clothes off only to be caught by Old Grumpy Gramps. Yuzu is expelled and Mei does fuck all about it while in other times Yuzu stood up for Mei. In the begining of episode 2 while Mei gets chewed out by gramps Yuzu stands in front of her and says “if you want to get mad at someone get mad at me. She has nothing to do with this.” Gramps doesn’t listen and at the end of the episode gramps has a well deserved heart attack. And who helps him? Yuzu.

I think I’ve ranted about Mei enough now onto Yuzu. In the first episode she monologues to us about how she talks about having boyfriend’s and kissing them when she hasn’t even had her first kiss yet. I did the same thing in high school and Im sure others have too.

Yuzu is a likeable character. She’s blonde and has personality and very well rounded I guess? I don’t have problems with her. If anything I feel bad for her because of what Mei puts her through. It’s not only Mei. Is this other girl too. I can’t think of her name. Like this has taken me a few days to write when it shouldn’t. I think her names Kono-something but well get to her later.

Harumin is Yuzu’s friend in the situation and has NONE of an idea pf what’s going on with Yuzu and Mei however she’s there to help and is a pretty good friend. In episode 5 they share an indirect kiss when Harumin feeds Yuzu something from her lunch and they do it so naturally. As platonic as the relationship may be I prefer theirs over Yuzu and Mei’s SOOOOOOO much more. If this show threw a curveball and ended with Harumin and Yuzu being a thing I would NOT be upset and id accept it as such but that’s not gonna happen.

Now onto the friend. Her name is Kono or Kokno but for now let’s just call Kono. So she’s got purple hair with girl pigtails thats in curls and she’s the vice president. She’s known Mei for what seems like maybe Kindergarten? I dont know which school years are similar to ours (Im from America) but that’s just my guess. So Kono has this disdain for Yuzu because she doesn’t conform to rules and is all of sudden getting close to Mei. So after episode 3 in episode 4 she keeps asking Yuzu what the two did some conference room or what not and Yuzu doesn’t tell her so in Kono’s….trial to assert dominace over Yuzu she goes and licks and touches Mei’s ear. That turns into Mei moaning and then Kono slides her hand under her skirt and the scene cuts away to the afternoon sky. Later in the episode Kono tells Yuzu to meet her at a cafe or something and the two talk and Kono says they “crossed a line” which DOES NOT sound good by the way. Im not sure if that’s the english translation of what she said or what but it doesn’t sound okay (Im watching Sub). So Kono lies and says Mei wants NOTHING to do with Yuzu and never wants to see her again. Yuzu’s already thinking “but we live together”.

This whole time Im thinking the two might’ve fucked or something BUT in the episode 5 Mei tells her Kono made advances at her and she told her no or something. Kono sees the two walking outside of school and Mei tells her to stop putting weird thoughts in her head and Kono is sad and stands there.

In episode 4, Mei tells Kono that she and Yuzu are step sisters FINALLY and anytime Yuzu tries to be a good older sister Kono sees it as making advances on her.

I don’t like Kono. She’s very annoying. Im not sure if she was like that in the manga or not but again Im going in this anime blind.

She’s honestly very annoying and that’s just how I feel. Gets in the way and just don’t like her character.

Mei and Kono? Can’t stand Mei. Kono is…slightly tolerable.

Yuzu and Harumin? I like them. They have better chemistry than the romance intended.

I cannot stress how much context Im sure im missing and I WANT to read the manga and know stuff but sadly that’s just not possible. If ANYONE could link me to translated versions of it online great. Now Im gonna talk about the plot of this.

I don’t watch romance. The only two I watched and liked was Sakura Trick and My Little Monster. In the show My Little Monster there was plot. However little it was there was still plot but it kept it entertaining to watch. Sakura Trick barely had plot at all but it had a storyline and had lots of lesbian kisses. More than the entire anime industry combined and that’s where the show got it’s charm.

Another show I watched and liked called Yuru Yuri. The girls start a club. That’s it. Don’t ask anything more of them.

Citrus? If you asked what the plot was…I couldn’t give you a simple sentence answer. Im not sure…where this anime is going. I know they’ll end up together dispite them being step sisters but for the plot right now I have no clue what or where it is. I think it’s just me being stupid but right now I can’t really think of a plot. The closest I can think of is “two step sisters who have some things to work out.”

I don’t have any….comments on the animation. Modern. Clean. Looks nice for 2018 animation. Nothing really striking except when Yuzu is in uniform she’s very pleasing. Color scheme wise I mean. It’s no Ancient Magnus Bride so….I guess I mean….animation is okay I guess.

Overall, I don’t hate the anime. But I don’t love it. I have issues with it and Im going to continue to watch it cuz I want to see where this will go. I want to see Mei’s character growth and I want to see plot. I want to see this get good and I want to like this anime and Ill stick around as long as I can. After a few more episode’s Ill do a part 2 on what I think.

For now….3 outta 10. I’d have to have a lengthy conversation with someone before recommending this to them.

So those are my thoughts on the anime Citrus. If you wanna talk about it with me just DM me. If you’ve read the manga and what to give me context great. Thanks for that.

Considering doing anime reviews as a thing.

[mxnyxxngx]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG :)

I WAS TAGGED BY THE SWEET @smittenbyschmidt LIKE 9438798796 YEARS AGO ?? IM SO SO. SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE AND THANKS FOR TAGGING ME !!! AHHHHHHAHAHAAHAH

1. nickname: jen !!! :)

2. gender: female

3. star sign: virgo hohoho (also an enfp gryffindor if u were wondering) (u probably werent but still lmaoo)

4. height: 165 cm aka just barely 5’5 rip

5. time: 5:23 pm

6. birthday: september 13th !!! a late late late summer baby

7. favorite bands (non kpop): oh no im not sure i have any ?? i used to listen to a whole bunch tho, like one direction, big time rush, 5sos, onerepublic, imagine dragons, panic at the disco (somewhat)

8. favourite solo artist: my favorite korean solo artist has to be dean hes a literal king dear god as for non korean ive recently been listening to a lot of borns and troye sivan :’) blackbear too !!! his songs are my exact aesthetic tbh

9. song stuck in my head: without you by nct u (im listening to it rn LMAOO)

10. last movie watched: legally? black panther WHICH IS ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES OF THE YEAR BTW I FUCKING LOVE IT TO BITS illegally? drive me crazy bc im lowkey a sucker for sappy cliche 90s romcoms :’)

11. last show watched: i have no clue ?? actually ??? i dont watch a lot of tv so i hope seventeens weekly idol counts ??? or nct vlives ???? LOOOOOL

12. when did i create my blog: november 2014 i think !!

13. what do i post: id say about 80% is kpop (40% bts 20% nct 15% seventeen 5% other) and the rest is either memes or aesthetic posts LMAOOO

14. last thing i googled: nyc weather (theres a snowstorm today omfg and school was cancelled ?? which makes today my first proper snow day ever ??? im such a california kid)

15. do you have other blogs: not active ones but i have a couple saved urls up my sleeve ;)

16. do you get asks: ,,, not really LMAO occasionally i used to but my inbox has been pretty dead for a while

17. why did you choose your url: its just min yoongi with the vowels replaced with xs and honestly ??? i have no clue how i thought of that or why but i thought it was sooooo cool and smart at the time LOOOL im not mad at it tho tbh i love it even though it gives me a bit of trouble w url tag games LMAO

18. following: 1219 blogs which ?? i honestly dk if thats a lot or a little

19. followers: i just recently hit 204 followers !!! which btw thank you guys ??? sm ???? i love you all ??????

20. favorite color (s): PEACH and RED and GOLD (my gryffindor ass is showing) and hmm black maybe :)

21. average hours of sleep: hoooo boy LOOOOL it really depends on the day but probably about 6 ?? even tho im the sleepiest girl u will ever meet ??? my sleep schedule is FUCKED LOOOOL

22. lucky number: 7 !! its cliche but i dont care lmao

23. instruments: i used to play piano and the flute but i pretty much havent touched either instrument since college started :((

24. what am i wearing: my bigass kevin woo love more hoodie and thigh highs and uhhh a bra and underwear i guess ??? LOOOL

25. how many blankets do i sleep with: two !!! although tbh im not sure why ?? i feel like i prefer only using a comforter ???? wtf @ me

26. dream job: oh wooooow uhhhh … a music producer

27. dream trip: south korea is the obvious answer i feel like but i have been missing la so fucking much these past couple of weeks so definitely there ugh

28. favorite food: im a hoe for kbbq tbh or any kind of meat/korean food in general actually !! i also reaaaally like spicy foods :’) so hot cheetos are my favorite snack tbh pizza and in n out are both soooo good too tbh in general i prefer salty things over sweet things but i WILL eat anything peach flavored straight up i kid u not it is my favorite flavor/color/smell in the entire world I LOVE PEACHES OK

29. nationality: american born chinese (first gen) but i took like a dna test a while ago and ?? apparently im like 10-12% finnish ??? which ,,, idk LMAOO

30. favorite song now: currently its any title song by nct tbh ?? go and boss and touch and baby dont stop have been on repeat since they came out

other korean song recs: dinner by jane jang and suho; jewel box AND thousand times (an ost and it made me cry tbh) by samuel (listen ,,,,,, the boy is so talented ,,,,, pls support him ,,,, i lov him w my whole heart); some and galaxy by bolbbalgan4; i promise you/ipu by wanna one (its so good slkgslkgdlkh ahhh i didnt like it THAT much at first but it really grew on me)

some english song recs: strawberries and cigarettes by troye sivan; helplessly by tatiana manaois; dirty laundry by blackbear !!! :)

i tag @sasha092398​ bc ofc i am ??? and @byeulbitch​ and @ashweeeeeh​ heheheh :’)

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt.23

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23

i wrote this because being on tumblr and seeing posts about taz hurt my heart. i was going to make this silly and meme-y, but honestly? i wasn’t feeling it. ive been having a Weird Time, and having something so important to me end earlier the day i started this didn’t help.

and then today happened and just.........i am So Tired

we’ll get back to the goofs next time, but i tried to make the end of this chapter a bit lighter? yeah i failed (multivitamin = adrien, mystic dragon = nino, monster alarm = alya, elfen whatever the heck = mari)

hail and well met all. i hope you enjoy

3:21 in orange wake up mari!!!

multivitamin: Do you ever stare at the ceiling and think about the future And realize you have literally just No clue what you’re doing And you don’t know if you’ll be happy Or successful And you’re just looking at the ceiling And debating your entire life And looking at all these choices you have to make and paths you have to choose And what you HAVE chosen so far and how it’s shaped your life And how everything could be different if you had just changed That one thing But you didn’t And now you’re here Staring at the ceiling

3:57

mystic dragon: one sec i cant do this with this nicknam e

mystic dragon has changed their nickname to mental support

mental support: first things first you ok? you dont sound ok

multivitamin has changed their nickname to existential crisis

existential crisis: I’m fine just Feels weird

mental support: dude im sorry i wish i could tell you that itll all be good but we both know thats a fucking lie but man youve got so much going for you youre talented as fuck you come from an amazing family youre an awesome person youre super smart its chill if you dont know what you wanna do right now weve got time and the past is the past we cant change it (and yo if we could we really really shouldnt) so like…why get hung up on it ok that was bad wording its super easy to get hung up on it especially when its ass oclock in the morning and your brain hates you   just like deep breaths man youre gonna be ok id hug you if i could but none of our parents would be chill with that

existential crisis: …… Can we do a call

mental support: of course you dont even have to ask gimme a sec to grab headphones and turn on a light

existential crisis: Ok

PM between mental support and existential crisis

4:06: Call started

6:35 in orange wake up mari!!!

monster alarm has changed their name to love and support

love and support: in this chat we love and support adrien agreste and each other

love and support has renamed this conversation to in this house we love and respect each other

love and support: brains suck and im sorry u feel like this marsh least it decided to hit u w/ that on a weekend r u feeling any better??

existential crisis: Yeah a little I might go take a nap in a little bit

love and support: sleep is great 10/10 would recommend its like practice for death

mental support: why are you up al?

love and support: sisters they were moving around attempting to make toast or something an d knocke dover some pots now we r all up im trying to convince my mom to make pancakes

mental support: best of luck dude

love and support: ill send you them somehow if she does

PM between mental support and existential crisis

7:13: Call ended: 3 hours 5 minutes 42 seconds

existential crisis: Thank you

mental support: anything for you dude <3 love you. sleep well

existential crisis: I love you too

PM between existential crisis and elfentrank fairy drink

existential crisis: I wish we could tell them

8:36 in in this house we love and respect each other

elfentrank fairy drink: Does this mean  I need to change my nicknam e

love and support: yes

elfentrank fairy drink: Ok um Hol d on a sec

love and support: take ur time babe

elfentrank fairy drink: Got it

elfentrank fairy drink has changed their nickname to snack support

love and support: amazing im proud of u

snack support: I do have snack s I need to go find breakfast brb 

PM between existential crisis and snack support

snack support: I wish we could too One day???

13:20 in in this house we love and respect each other

mental support: sup dudes i just had the wildest dream it involved clouds, adrien flying, and like 50 cats brains are fucking weird

snack support: That is so many cats Too many cats

love and support: no such thing

snack support: Youre a dog person???

love and support: and?? i want to die under a pile of animals that love me soft and fluff

mental support: yo al did you ever get your pancakes

love and support: yessss mom is The Best the twins drowned theirs in choclate sauce

mental support: hell yeah got any left over??

love and support: yup want lunch?

mental support: *breakfast just woke up im supposed to clean the apartment today but my moms might not mind me leaving for a bit

love and support: nah i wanna get out of the house for a while besides i wanna chill w my bf without the twins annoying me @mari @adri u 2 want any? i can swing by and/or pick u up on my way

mental support: i think hes still knocked out hopefully he is anyway he looked really tired last night this morning he better still be sleep

snack support: Im good al but thanks! Spend some time with your bf without me in the way

mental support: yo wtf

love and support: u!! r not in the way!!!!!!

mental support: ^^^

snack support: Its fine really!!! Ive got a dress to work on today!!!!

mental support: youre sure?? youre not just giving us space??

snack support: Yeah Im positive Ill send updates The pattern is kicking my ass

love and support: kick its ass right back babe ill hold your flower

mental support: have fun dude!!!

love and support: btw ill b over in like 20 nine cool???

mental support: not changing out of my pjs

love and support: thats a mood see u then?

mental support: yup! <3

PM between existential crisis and snack support

snack support: Im on my way over Dont freak out Which…...wont be helpful if youre asleep

 16:20

existential crisis: I know you’re probably still on the way home but Thanks for coming over <3 And yeah One day

[chickenfetus]

ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ???? 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like 

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh 

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general????????? 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean 

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron 

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples: 

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them??????? 

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh 

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao 

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much 

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO 

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah 

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not 

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual. 

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me. 

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual. 

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good????? 

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual 

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross

[hermitcrabofficial]

before i head off to sleep i wanna say a couple things

to put it frankly, im pretty discouraged at the lack of notes (or feedback at all) on my art posts. i like to draw in my free time and i plan to eventually get a profession that has something to do with art, yknow.

but i cant improve if theres nobody to give me some feedback or constructive criticism. low self-esteem or not, the chances of me getting a spot at an art school or vocational college with my drawings being at this quality are pretty damn slim, and there will be hundreds of other people trying to apply for art school/college. how the hell am i supposed to stand out?

im already working on figuring out what i wanna do for work at all, because frankly i have no damn clue. im discussing all kinds of possibilities at therapy right now and so far ive found nothing that speaks to me, nor do i have certain qualifications for certain professions either due to the lack of a higher education or because of health impediments. and its stressing me the fuck out just thinking about all this.

im still drawing and trying to improve by trying out different techniques just to get a feel on how they work. people irl have told me many times how “talented” i am, that i should definitely apply for art school and the general “i wish i could draw like that” comments, but no actual critique. i post the results online in hopes that other artists might give me some pointers or criticism or something. nothing happens.

there was a time where i would reblog my posts many times a day just so people from other timezones could see my art. i received a couple compliments, sure, but barely any constructive criticism or advice. my art would get max 6-10 notes, if they didnt happen to be some shoddy fandom meme post that would get around 100 notes for some reason.

i eventually stopped reblogging my posts altogether and i posted less art in general because honestly, whats the point of doing all that work if nobodys gonna say anything or even reblog it? whats the point? ive considered creating an art blog to put all my stuff in but it probably wouldnt get any more than 5 to 15 followers, especially not when nobodys actually gonna reblog it. im tired and incredibly discouraged.

i put many hours into these drawings and people will look at each post for maybe 5 to 10 seconds before simply clicking fav and moving on. hell even i am guilty of this.

..i honestly dont know what to say anymore at this point. i cant and wont force anyone to give me critique or reblog my stuff, but id much rather deal with people who give shitty comments and bullshit criticism instead of complete radio silence.

[rainbowunihog]

got tagged by @violetren for an ask meme thing, and i never rly post my own stuff but eh i got time to kill so why not

Rules:

1. Always post rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people 

Questions:

1. Have you ever taken the Harry Potter patronus quiz? If so what did you get? i got an adder. which is adderly cool innit nothing i’d radder be

2. What was the book series or movie that you obsessed over as a kid? oh gee as a kid? id say percy jackson. or ninjago. which was a tv show but i was quite obsessed so.

3. Do you have or do you want any tattoos? i dont have any rn. i... am very scared of needles so i probably wont get any, and even if i do i honestly have no clue what id get

4. Videogames! Do you play? And if you do do you prefer Multiplayer or Single player? kinda? i play hella iphone games (asphalt xtreme, geometry dash, etc) and i mean i play the sims? used to play minecraft a lot. oh i play a lotta nintendo games! i really love pokemon. honestly the only real video game consoles i own are all nintendo. they’re great. and im hella good at mario kart too.

5. What is your favourite board game? How often do you play it? my favorite board game, at the moment, is probably sorry? i havent played in FOREVER though, so the rules are probably muddled, but from what i remember it was a pretty intense and fun game (always fun to sorry someone)

6. When you imagine your dream home where do you imagine building it? somewhere close to a lot of people, probably. so like, in a city. i guess. never really thought of a dream home tbh

7. If you could have any animal (wild or not) as a pet what would you get? oh id get a pup probably. boring answer but they’re really cute and precious and gah i really want one

8. Which Artist/Album you have listened to the most in the past week? WATSKY. george motherfuckin watsky. i honestly am sad that so few people seem to know about him? he makes great music and yeah

9. What is the last thing you read that made you smile? oh.... probably a fanfic? i read a lotta it tho so can’t get much more specific im afraid

10. What is your favourite fan fic trope? coffee shop maybe? soulmates? enemies to friends to lovers? theres too many for me to choose one from i love them all

11. If you could see any two of your favourite fandoms have a crossover event, which two would you pick and why? uhhhh, moana and percy jackson? maybe? i guess you’d have to switcheroo the timelines and stuff to make it work but itd be interesting i think to see how their different lie beliefs and things work out (difference in how demigods exist (?) etc)

and i guess my questions here?:

1. How long has it been since you were last outside? What where you doing?

2. What actor/actress will you always be obsessed with?

3. What’s the least amount of sleep you’ve ever functioned on?

4. Have you seen any movies in theater recently? Was it worth it?

5. When was the last time you cried for real?

6. Where, if you had the means, would you want to spend the rest of your life?

7. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

8. Have you ever had a crush on your friend?

9. Who was/is the worst teacher you’ve ever had?

10. What’s one move/show/book/etc that you think is criminally underrated?

11. What is the most random (useless), interesting fact you know?

and now to tag 11 people:

@im-wearing-a-vegetable, @hannahismyharto, @wheatpear, @iwishiwasatraveler, @thelynnx, @potatoe-potatho, @she-used-2-be-mine, @wellthatsjustme, @in-screaming-colour, @gitgey, @arepitasdulces

so yeah i guess do it if u want or not its just an ask meme anyways innit

[auxon]

tagged by @sneezingbeagle​

god the formatting on this is awful sorry but i cant really be assed to fix it. also it’s very long so i’ll put it under a cut

Rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end choose 25 people to tag.

LAST: 1. drink: ginger tea 2. phone call: uhhhh god i don’t even know, a few weeks ago i had to call customer service for something so i guess that 3. text message: "nerd” to @dragon-cabbage​ 4. song listened to: working man - imagine dragons 5. time i cried: yesterday but like out of happiness and only a little bit HAVE YOU EVER: 6. dated somebody twice: technically but we were only not dating for like a week 7. been cheated on: not as far as i know 8. kissed someone and regretted it: mmm yeah 9. lost someone special: in a way i guess 10. been depressed: yeah 11. gotten drunk and puked: i’ve never been drunk so no THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS: 12. lmao i don’t even have favorite colors anymore 13. i wear a lot of blue because it’s a safe color but it doesn’t excite me 14. i like black with bright colors as highlights IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: i think so 16. fallen out of love: yeah lmao 17. laughed until you cried: don’t think so 18. found out someone was gossiping about you: no??? 19. met somebody who changed you: i don’t think so 20. find out who your true friends are: what is a “true” friend 21. kissed somebody on your Facebook list: yeah im facebook friends with my boyfriend so HOW MANY/MUCH: 22. facebook friends do you have in real life: all of my facebook friends are people i know irl, slightly fewer of them are people i’m actively friends with  23. pets: two cats

24. want to change name: already did 

25. did i get for my last birthday: idk i got some cool shit like a polaroid camera and some records 26. time i woke up: ugh like 6:50 b/c school day 27. doing at midnight: sleeping 28. something you cannot wait for: probably the rocket club trip to alabama in... less than a month 29. last time i saw my mum: approximately 30 seconds ago 30. something you wish you could change about your life: uh, be a cis guy, not have fucked up so many friendships/relationships 31. listening to right now: nothing 32. something that gets on your nerves: idk lots of things, my brother being an ass 33. talked to a person named Tom: i have no idea 34. most visited website: tungle.hell 35. elementary school: what is this question asking  36. high school: cant wait to get out 37. college: god the dream college would be caltech or mit but i probably wont get in so... :/ 38. hair colour: brown 39. long or short hair: i like having short hair bc i’m not masculine enough to have long hair and be secure in my body image but both are attractive on other ppl 40. crush: @a-wandering-intern 41. what do you like about yourself: i’m smart? also my face looks pretty decent from some angles 42. piercings: none but i have seriously considered getting a facial piercing 43. blood type: not a clue 44. nickname: the name i use is danny which is technically a nickname, also occasionally people call me danny boy which i Really Like, and sometimes people call me dan which is.... not great 45. relationship status: dating @a-wandering-intern 46. zodiac: capricorn 47. pronouns: he/him 48. favourite show: what is... a tv? jk probably stranger things because it’s one of the few shows i’ve seen recently and it was really good 49. tattoos: none but i want one of the greek letter delta 50. right or left handed: right FIRST: 51. surgery: um i got my tonsils out when i was little 52. piercing: none 53. best friend: uh... i had a best friend named sophia in like, kindergarten, but i don’t think i was her best friend :( 54. sport: god sports have never really been my thing but i did basketball for like one season in either 4th or 5th grade, god knows why 55. vacation: i dunno but i remember having gone to japan when i was really little, i don’t remember anything about it just that i went 56. pair of shoes: lmao what

RIGHT NOW:

57. eating: nothing

58. drinking: nothing

59. im about to: send some shitty photoshopped pictures to a friend and then study physics

60. listening to: my own keyboard (wait wasn’t this question earlier on this meme)

61. waiting for: i dunno

62. want to see: not really sure

63. want to get married: for the longest time i didn’t or at least i professed not to, but after some consideration i think that i do actually want to get married to someone i love and even if it’s not something i want super badly i wouldn’t mind having a kid as long as they were adopted

64. career: i want to be a physicist but am currently a depressed student

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. hugs/kisses: uh i like kissing but hugging is just so emotionally comforting and grounding so i think i’m gonna have to go with hugging

66. lips/eyes: i feel like this is comparing apples to oranges. i would rather have both lips and eyes

67. shorter/taller: is this question about which is more attractive to me because either one, but i like it when people are my height/shorter because i am insecure about the fact that i am personally short

68. younger/older: in terms of which it’s better to be, both have their pros and cons, but i would rather be younger than like, really old. in terms of dating, i wouldn’t date someone more than a year older or a year younger than me so idk really

69. romantic/spontaneous: i honestly don’t even know what this means

70. nice arms/nice stomach: what exactly do you mean by ‘nice’ and again this is like comparing to apples and oranges. both are separately very nice

71. sensitive/loud: i dunno, either?

72. hook up/relationship: relationship absolutely i dont think i could trust a stranger or even a not-very-close friend enough to hook up with them

73. troublemaker/hesitant: i am extremely afraid of doing things wrong or getting in trouble

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. kissed a stranger: no

75. drank hard liquor: ok so one time i had some sort of cream liquor (liqueur?) i can’t remember what it actually was and idk if it counts. also it was like literally half a sip that one of my parents gave me at a family gathering

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: one time i literally dropped my glasses in a lake and had to get new ones. now i wear daily disposable contacts so i’ve never, like, lost them, but i have had them fall out and couldn’t get them back in

77. turned someone down: i dont think so...?

78. canoodling on first date: is this a euphemism for sex because if so then no

79. broken someones heart: i mean i don’t like that term at all but yeah i’ve hurt someone i was dating and i still regret it

80. had your own heart broken: yeah, it’s complicated

81: been arrested: nope

82: cried when someone died: like, almost

83: fallen for a friend: real question is who have i ever fallen for who wasn’t already a friend

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. yourself: sometimes

85. miracles: ~a post-war economic miracle~ haha jk but actually... not supernatural miracles

86. love at first sight: no i think you kinda have to get to know someone to really love them

87. Santa Clause: i mean.... LOOK AWAY NOW IF YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS he’s ur parents so i don’t believe in some dude that lives at the north pole and breaks into ur house but i do believe in the concept and i think it’s really cute

88. kiss on first date: depends on the way the stars are aligned

89. angels: nope

OTHER:

90. current best friends name: eleanor and ceci (also cyrus if u count my boyfriend as one of my best friends, which i generally do)

91. eye colour: blue

92. favourite movie/s: repo man, which is a shitty movie from the 80s. god it’s so bad i love it

ok im not gonna tag anyone because i’m too lazy but if u feel like doing it go ahead

[internetdetectives]

10/29/19 - Chat with Moonman and Greth

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:13  PM: "okay”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:13  PM: "still not sure i was added here but”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:13  PM: "hi scout”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:13  PM: "and liam since”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:13  PM: "i see you typing”

otherLiam 10:15  PM: "yeah heya.”

Xenquility 10:15  PM: "Yo”

otherLiam 10:16  PM: "this is a bit to ask but we’re kinda trying to figure out how you got added here, too. if you don’t mind, could you give a quick list of the currently-active ID’s?”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:17  PM: "everybody except me as far as i am aware”

otherLiam 10:17  PM: "So, scout, Mugen, Yugi, IA, etc?”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:18  PM: "Mhm”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:18  PM: "or as mugen would say”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:18  PM: "'waffle'”

otherLiam 10:20  PM: "Alright. And do you remember what day you played the Song of Healing? (no judgement, just tryin to get the timeline straight.)”

pциїsнёd gяєтн 10:20  PM: "it was around midnight”

pциїsнёd gяєтн 10:20  PM: "on uh”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:21  PM: "i think the 27th”

Dense 10:22  PM: "Hey greth”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:22  PM: "henlo”

otherLiam 10:22  PM: "Interesting. How are you feeling right now?”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:23  PM: "honestly”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:23  PM: ((A photo of Jake the Snake Roberts is posted))

Xenquility 10:23  PM: "Relatable”

Dense 10:23  PM: "Tyler kissinda snake”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:23  PM: ((A photo of Jake the Snake Roberts is posted))

otherLiam 10:24  PM: "that’s a fuckin mood right there”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:24  PM: "sorry this is some group specific memeing”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:24  PM: "i have a tendency to post jake the snake”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:24  PM: "like wwf legend jake the snake roberts”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:24  PM: "i too am a snake on his redemption arc”

otherLiam 10:26  PM: "So Greth, what’s the purpose of this “circle” Jeremy/Jarilo wanted made?”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:26  PM: "i dont know im not in it”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:26  PM: "i should make clear im not salty about that”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:26  PM: "i left skype shortly before that”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:26  PM: "i'm more salty about ID breaking down in skype drama over something dumb i did on the site”

ARGdov 10:27  PM: "yeah thats nothing new, sounds like it checks out”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:28  PM: "ID basically broke down into an ID controlled by Tyler”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:28  PM: "and an ID controlled by Mugen”

otherLiam 10:28  PM: "Holy yikes.”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:28  PM: "and then a third group with me a few boys”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:28  PM: "and i didnt like it”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:28  PM: "most of us were in all three”

otherLiam 10:28  PM: "Who are your boys?”

Xenquility 10:29  PM: "Who was with you?”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:29  PM: "so me leaving seemed to bring the groups back into 1”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:29  PM: "i dont want to create further drama”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:29  PM: "i didnt even know there was a discord ultra secret group”

Xenquility 10:30  PM: "No worries about drama dudeski”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:30  PM: "well i know some people probably wont wanna be named but”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:30  PM: "Yugi was there everyone knew that”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:30  PM: "he was the only spanish memer and we clicked so he actively wasnt in the other two until i left”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:30  PM: "thats partly why i did”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:30  PM: "I didnt want Yugi to be deprived”

ARGdov 10:31  PM: "man I feel bad for those who were stuck with mugen”

ARGdov 10:31  PM: "interesting that Tyler apparently didnt lose his memory tho”

Xenquility 10:31  PM: "?”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:32  PM: "a few people tried to not shitpost on him but most people did”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:32  PM: "but he was in the circle or whatever so some of them reasoned they needed to appease him”

otherLiam 10:33  PM: "sounds like this “circle” is doing more harm than good if it’s dividing everyone up”

ARGdov 10:33  PM: "yeah”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:33  PM: "that was my opinion but again i didnt even know until after we had splintered into three skype chats”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:33  PM: "so i just left”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:33  PM: "and apparently everything is somewhat normal”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:33  PM: "I know some new people joined who had gotten in through Mugen's skype link”

Dense 10:35  PM: "Hehe”

Xenquility 10:36  PM: "Hows Tyler? Haven't been keeping up in ages”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:36  PM: "no idea”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:36  PM: "not on skype”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:36  PM: "tyler wasnt around much”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:36  PM: "the group that tyler controlled wasnt really actively controlled by him”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:36  PM: "it was just the original skype chat”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:36  PM: "Mugen left that chat after i posted the song”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:36  PM: "and that's when it all went downhill”

Xenquility 10:38  PM: "Any clue what the song did?”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:38  PM: "the site had been extremely active that night”

Dense 10:38  PM: "-king nothing plays in the background-”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:38  PM: "we had made a ton of progress and it was really late”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:38  PM: "and we probably coulda kept going but after the healing song”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:38  PM: "it went offline”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:38  PM: "as far as i know it might still be offline”

otherLiam 10:39  PM: "Earlier you mentioned that when you posted the SoH you “thought it was your idea” and you “felt different”. Can you go into any more detail on that?”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:39  PM: "you ever fap to some weird shit convinced this is your life now”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:39  PM: "and then right after you finish you have existential regret”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:39  PM: "it was like that”

otherLiam 10:40  PM: "So, utterly convinced it was a good idea then immediately aware that it was gross and bad.”

Dense 10:40  PM: "JKJS oh god”

ADULT_LINK 10:41  PM: "oh god that feeling sucks”

otherLiam 10:41  PM: "Actually, would you mind checking YSHDT? I would but I’m in the middle of the desert rn.”

ADULT_LINK 10:41  PM: "discords like barely chuggin along”

Xenquility 10:42  PM: "Aw shit. Web browser is screwing with me. Anyone able to remind me what happend last November 11? Kinda sped through my research”

Dense 10:43  PM: "Uhhh november 11”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:47  PM: "uhhh lemme get uhhh”

𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖍 10:47  PM: "nov 11”

[chychy0825]

entry 1, sept.14

basically there a girl that i love very, very much and i don’t have anyone to rant to about her so i made a tumblr blog

so, the beginning.

in eighth grade, i move to korea, where my parents grew up. i grew up all around america and at this point i knew almost nothing about korea. i start as a second year in middle school, when all friendships are already established.

(quick background info, in korean middle schools, we dont have separate classes, we always stay in our homeroom and sometimes as a class, switch to other classrooms for special occasions, ie the science lab, library, but we don’t change classes so your’e stuck with your homeroom classmates for a year)

at this point in life i’m a huge weeb, socially awkward and i didn’t know if korean kids liked the same stuff as i did, and it made me so, so scared and anxious. and then i meet this girl. we are kinda forced to sit together when we move classrooms for english and the teacher doesn’t assign seats, since everyone else already has a friend/partner to sit with. since its like the second day of the new year and our first eng class (in korea, schedules differ every day since we have more subjects) , the teacher gives us a free period as long as we stayed in the classroom. the girl next to me starts doodling and whatdya know, shes drawing touka from tokyo ghoul (also at this point in life, i was a huge, huge tokyo ghoul fan) and also being an artist, i knew how anxious it was when someone stared at you drawing, but i was so desperate to be friends with her. so i start this huge debate of whether or not i should ask her if she knows tokyo ghoul. btw, im the most introverted introvert ever, and i never initiate conversations first.

but this one time, i did.

and it has been one of the best decisions that i made in my life.

she said yes, it was tokyo ghoul, and it turns out she’s also an artist, she also likes anime, she gets western humor/memes/culture since she had also grown up in canada for a short period of time. she has the exact same taste in music, books, manga, animals, art and so on.

we click together immediately.

until, then, i used to be more of an emotionally distant person, even with my friends. it might have been the byproduct of moving around a lot. when i made friends, there was this line i wouldn’t cross with them. friends i made in school, stayed in school; they weren’t a part of my personal life. they were there for me to have fun with at lunch breaks, maybe whisper to each other during a boring class, but not for an emotional, deeper bond.

but this time it was so much more.

within one year of knowing her, she manages to make me forget about the line i had always kept when it came to friends. i let her overstep into my personal life, into my very being. i got so emotionally attached. she’s also the first friend that i was able to feel comfortable with when it came to physical contact.

(little more background info, korean girls tend to be more touchy with platonic friends than western girls. holding hands, walking arm in arm is common) (yeah that means i nearly had a heart attack when she casually grabbed my hand as a platonic gesture)

fast forward to the winter break of eight grade.

at this point in life, i was fairly sure i was het, with high standards. i had never had a crush on a guy other than like, “celebrity crushes” (which was actually the incorrect term, i was more attracted to their aesthetic that the actual person in a romantic way) and mostly i assumed it was because there weren’t many decent guys in my life (also worth mentioning that the middle school i went to was an all-girls christian middle school). but until then, i kind of didn’t know being lgbt was a thing (despite growing up near sf, my parents (remember, they were raised in korea and in christian families) never let me get exposed to the lgbt community (but not in a homophobic way, it was new to them as well and they hadn’t understood it perfectly at the time). also at this point in life, i start to use the internet for more than googling. i start going on tumblr, twitter etc., reading blogs and posts from people around the world, and got educated on social issues, feminism, politics, and the modern perceptions of gender and sexuality.

and that opens up an entirely new world.

so the whole “wow i might not be het” incident occurs at school, actually. my friend casually mentions that she’s bi, she doesn’t care about the gender of the person she would love.

and that made me go, hey, maybe me too?

and then, wait, do i like her?

and then i proceeded to put those feelings on hold, because now, it’s the end of the school year, there’s spring break and we’re both busy so we didn’t see each other much and i kind of forgot the whole thing.

fast forward and the new school year begins. we ended up in different classes, but we still spent lunch breaks together, still hung out a lot. i did make friends in my new class, but still kept the line drawn, and kept them as “school friends.” but she made new friends, too. and honestly, they’re cool people, i actually became friends with them, too. but it was kind of bugging me that she spent more time with them, since they were in the same class. and i realized i was jealous.

and that realization hit me like, what the fuck?

and then i remembered, oh yeah, i kind of liked her.

you know the super cliche saying where it’s like you don’t know how much you really love someone until they’re gone? this was exactly that.

so i came to the dramatic realization that i was “bi” (spoiler alert, i’m not) and that i liked my best friend. but ok, that’s cool and all, it’s a crush.

but then, just as she always has, she proved me wrong.

on my birthday, i slept over at her house. we celebrated with just the two of us, without other friends. we had cake, watched some bbc sherlock, did a little gaming, etc., then she gave me my present. she actually gave me a lot of presents, like until then all my birthday presents were like One Cool Thing From Target But Giftwrapped, but she literally gave me a heck ton of really thoughtful gifts. the most memorable one was a branch(stalk? idk) of cotton, and said she wanted to get me dried hydrangeas but they were too expensive. i asked her why dried, she said because then, they wouldn’t wilt.  like ok, that’s really cool and thoughtful of her. then she gave me a letter and told me to open it when i got home, since if i read it in front of her she would be embarrassed.

and i went what the actual fuck???? so while she was washing and getting ready for bed, i opened the letter.

and oh my fucking god.

it was actually the first “genuine” letter that i had gotten in my life (excluding the ones from my parents). basically, (i’m paraphrasing and translating) what it said was “i don’t know what you think about me, but i’m trying to take care of you well and i treasure you greatly, thank you for being born.” which kinda. yeets my heart out of my mouth. she had also written a japanese poem on the letter but like in japanese. and i had no fucking clue how to read it, who wrote it, or what it was about. i went home later and i tried to figure out the poem, but google translate and my limited japanese kanji weren’t really helping. so i reached out for help from one of my american friends (who was half japanese). she couldn’t figure out who the poem was by, or where it was from, but she was able to give me a rough english translation (unfortunately, she said she wasn’t very good at jap, so she couldn’t convey the poetic-ness of it) so i then searched for the korean translation of the poem using the rough english translation.

and finally, finally, i found it.

it was part of the short story/poem “Osan” (おさん, 1947_) _by Dazai Osamu (an inside joke kind of, since we were both into bungo stray dogs at the time)

(i actually couldn’t find the official translation since it’s not a very well known work of his and googling anything with dazai’s name on it only gets me anime dazai jashdkahdkahd)

so here, a rough translation by me:

“I’m trying to cherish you

Shield you from the wind, and take care of you.

You, you are a great person.

Do not focus on mundande things, have self-confidence and stay calm.

I am always only filled with thoughts about you.

About which, you can have sky-high pride in.”

_ _

and i couldn’t figure out if she meant it in a platonic way or not (the japanese friend who translated it for me said it sounded like a love confession)

but at this point i realized that i might actually have fallen in love with her?

so that’s part one, the beginning.

(i’ll continue after exams are over and i have more energy and will to live in general)

[survivorinternational]

Episode 2 - "I couldn't believe I heard God wrong the third time" - Sluggy

Jacob: I have no idea for the video Me: I have an idea Jacob: its shit oh okay... give us a better idea before you shut mine down would you? 

So for the past 2 days ever since we won the reward challenge and got the chance to get a clue to the hidden immunity idol, the info had been passed around among everyone in the tribe that it was on the beach. I was waiting for the next opportunity to search for the idol because I know everyone's gonna go for it, and today I was busy beforehand and couldn't search for it until 4 hours after the challenge. But the first day I came here God told me specifically it was at the beach and in the headlands, it just wasn't on the cliff. So i go there and search and search and i cant find it, and im about to give up... 

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...and something falls on my lap, I open it up and here it is. The hidden immunity idol. I couldn't believe I heard God wrong the third time. HAHA! I'm so grateful for this. After all the Asians having idols in the psst seasons of survivor man. 

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So this sucks but I have to keep this idol as hidden as possible even from my closest allies. It's gonna be a big target on my back and if its possible i dont want to use it all the way until the final time I can use it. So even though Michael and Jacob asked about it, I couldn't tell him and err I don't want to lie anymore so it's definitely tough :( Whatever it is I have to keep humble and continue to stay under the radar. 

This challenge will take a lot of confidence which I completely lack but I will do my best and everything what I am asked to. I am kinda pressuring Vilma into being the director/editor of this since I know she is into stuff like this but I might have put too much pressure. Will try to work something out better in that regard. 

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Ginger's constant bullying of the ghost of Emils will get him into deep shit.

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This challenge has been a real coller coaster for me. I hate filming myself in videos but seeing the confidence Vilma (and others) have is really inspiring. We are doing "Toy" by Netta which is a pretty fun song to lipsync to. I am not the best but I am having fun with it and getting some exercise in the meanwhile. I will still undoubtebly hate any of my bits but at least I have the courage to participate and do my best. 

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About hour of recording myself. I shall not edit it from a cringy mess into a slightly less cringy mess. Wish me luck.

----------

I do not know if it is because I am slightly slick but I am editing my clips into a more coherent structure and my stomach genuinely hurts from cringe

A week in and I received my 1st message from Dean/Dylan :D how lucky. I also have slightly more newfound time coming up in the next few days so I can spend more time building trust with Tyler, Stephen and Dean/Dylan

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I just saw Tyler's part in the music video. How can 1 man be that hot. Like wtf did he do to get those kinds of genetics. I'm so fucking jealous rn. This confessional will contain no actual substance, just me shit posting about how fuxking AWESTRUCK I am at this man. Go to 2:15 of our music video to see... Damn! 

Right so this day was um interesting. I highly doubt i'll cover all the boring ass t but watevs. Ok SO, we had our first cheeky little game talk with Michael who much to my recent surprise is like 33 years old. pop off grandpa. Love him tho. So we had a fun little chat about who we liked, highkey like Stephan the most but didnt want to say that cause he had already said Stephan seems distant, so i pretended i was chill with other people just to be fun :). ANYWAY, he wants to create a majority with Jacob and Dean but honestly like no, those kids r the REAL crackheads. I want to work with Sluggy and Stephan so it was a tee bit awkie for me. But i smiled and waved anyway cause thats ALL im good at. If Michael was to try and create a majority with those 4 i'd highkey flip 🤭. Dean was just... how to put this... slop, and im not having slop in my house MY APOLOGIES. While planning for the challenge he was annoying and then throughout the challenge he was annoying. OK SO i am NOT mean and this challenge is clearly AWKWARD for everyone and everyone is being out there BUT deans video... like i used two seconds of it. Im sorry my love i dont know how to introduce that pillow possession story line into the video... . I think half way through he needed a nap? and started having night terrors, geez i hope he's ok. RIGHT anyway. I finished the video, i hope my editing and also telling everyone that they're part was really helpful and easily the best will grant me safety regardless! O also Jacob told me the idol clue BUT i dont know whether to believe it or not   :((( so he says its at the beach, im like well what was the actual clue? was it cryptic? then he said 'you inhaled smoke and it was hidden there' wtf u mean THAT was the clue. Absolutely not, get that SLOP out of MY face. RIGHT but i looked at the beach anyway to NO PREVAIL. Michael and Jacob both told me where they looked tho ;) Throwback to last confessional where i didnt think i was making an in roads with people, well i THINK i could be much better off now! Jacob says he only really talks to Stephan which is GOOD because i want Dean out and i thought he was close to dean. Also Jacob starting having game talk to me which was a HOOT because i thought he DIDNT like me. obviously my piercing eyes got the better of him. Im close with Stephan, Jacob, Michael and the singaporian one. OOPS thats all of the tribe but Dean. I've been whip whop wheaving my way through these relationships as best i can and forcing myself onto people without them realising. All i need is 1 or 2 STRONG connections and ill smile :) O also Jacob said i was hot and asked if i was single! LOVELY, amazing LOVE compliments, will use this child if need be but if he's trying to use me, sucks for him because im self conscious and DONT believe his compliments anyway. I THINK im setting myself up in a mildly good position, just gonna be more pal'y. I hope people LIKE me. 

We gave our best but our Basic White Boy music video is totally gonna lose, and I’m taking some responsibility for that too. I knew we should’ve chosen something gayer.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KBaGOCmiwLknXyQoaaeyqZ0isdVOFUV2/view here are my clips :eyes:

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I am not saying I am aiming for it, but I am totally aiming for most confessionals. So fun story here. Whole summer not a single time I was bitten by a mosquito. Then this survivor starts. What is survivor known for? Tropical islands with mosquitos and such. So I was riding my bicycle yesterday and sat on a bench for a bit to rest up. 5 minutes. I sat for 5 minutes on this damn bench. 7 mosquito bites all on my legs, 3-4 split. I was fuming. Apparently that opened the pandora's box of mosquitos because I have been bitten 4 more times since them. I am full of hate. In other news: http://prntscr.com/od5qry This is really nice to see. Vilma's the best <3

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I CAN'T STOP TYPING IN ALL CAPS OUR VIDEO IS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT

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my life is now a meme 

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oh wait it already was

CURRENTLY FREAKING OUT BECAUSE!!!!!!!!! IM EDITING THE MUSIC VIDEO BUT LIKE I HAVE SUCH LIMITED TIME!!!!! I ALSO HAVE TO BE FORTY FIVE MINUTES AWAY FROM MY CURRENT LOCATION IN AN HOUR AND THAT MAKES I ONLY HAVE FIFTEEN MINUTES TO EDIT WHICH I DEFINITELY CANNOT FINISH IN TIME. ALSO HAVING HUGE FUCKING PROBLEMS BECAUSE MY OLD METHOD OF DOWNLOADING VIDEOS IS NOT WORKING!!!!!!!!!!! AND IM REALLY FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT LOL SO IM SCREEN RECORDING OUR VIDEOS BUT I ALSO DON'T HAVE THE ACTUAL AUDIO FOR AMERICAN BOY AND IM STRUGGLING TO DOWNLOAD IT I MIGHT NEED TO BUY IT ON MY PHONE LIKE FUCK FJLKDJASLKFAJDSKL THIS IS SO DIFFICULT AND IM TRYING TO KEEP IT TO MYSELF INSTEAD OF WORRYING MY TRIBE MATES BUT OMG WHY I HATE MY LIFE 

I feel so guilty that I didn’t help my tribe with this challenge, I really hope we win! If we don’t win honestly I will probably just tell them all they can vote me off- I hate to go without a fight but they all participated in the video and I feel like it would be the fair thing to do. Hopefully we don’t have to worry about that and my tribe wins!

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Me putting my life on the line for my TRIBE? Must be the drugs this is not really in my character but I feel really bad and want them all to thrive

I spent my entire day doing that music video and I'm gonna cry if we lose and go to tribal again ughhhhhhhhhh. I really tried my best and am super proud of my tribe mates too they did a great job. I really like the video.

Yes! Another win for Ala Mai! I'm loving this tribe and loving this game! I want to get to the merge with as many of my tribe mates as possible because we all have very similar timezones so I need that in my game. 

I am so happy we won the challenge ! I offered the Toy idea but then couldn't participate myself because of real life reasons ugh. My tribe tho did an AMAZING JOB and Im glad we chose Netta 

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Ok so just now I have realized these are not the during-game published confessionals. So I'm gonna confess: I was so fucking nervous not to be able to participate in the video challenge. I wanted to take part and it's risking eviction if we lose. On the other hand, I kinda knew I would be fine even if we lost. First, I offered the song for the tribe. Second, my alliance with Vilma and Veni is controlling the tribe, I have Clash from the side and we got majority. So I'd probs be fine anyway. Glad we won tho ! 

Uh I’ve been so busy for the past few days I can’t socialise and am very worried 

Day 4: Video editing challenge. This will be fun. Make a music video. Tribe chat is just going in circles with choosing a song. Song is finally chosen, Lonely Dance. Its a strange song, would have prefered something more campy or darker but oh well. I dont have time to do a video edit, i also want to take a back seat of this challenge. Searched for idol, No luck but i now have a good list of where to look narrowed down to 3 locations. Think im going to trust Tyler more. 

http://prntscr.com/odkz7k

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idk if i made a confessional about this but holy shit Lord is in this 

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I realise I spam so many messages to people at once. Shoutout to Vilma for always replying (although slowly) to every single one

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Quiet day today, barely spoke to people. Please no swap.

Well I'm sad to go to tribal this early, but it's probably needed. I didn't like my participation in this challenge but I was really short on time, it sucks but oh well, at least Ruthie told us to vote her and hopefully it isn't a hard vote 

Whew! Thank god we won immunity. I honestly think we tried so hard so it felt nice to be recognised for that (and by we I mean those of us who actually helped out with the challenge......). Vilma worries me a bit. I really like her and she gives off a great energy but I feel like she could use that to lead a big alliance further down the line. I definitely won't be targeting her anytime soon and hopefully I can get in that alliance at some point, but she's someone to keep an eye on.

Hello this round was boring we had shitty judges yet again woo we lost immunity woo now we have to look like bad people and vote ruthie out because shes sacrificing herself woo

WE WON!!!!!! NO TRIBAL!!!!! FUCK YESSSS And the judges were so nice to me I legit almost cried I love everyone ughhhh my heart Music video challenges are so amazing I don't care if what placement I get anymore we made that video and that's all I care about really I hope we're swapping soon! 

Okay so whew I had tribal for this game and I was nommed in a BB game so it's been a busy day today! I thought I might play my idol no matter what tonight, but Ruthie has been going through some stuff and volunteered to be voted out. Unfortunately it is uneventful for the viewers and for the hosts but I hope it is nice and easy and I can save my idol for later. Also, tribe swap anyone? Idk I haven't really clicked with anyone yet...Wow my social game sucks I'm sorry hosts, give me comps I can win, ty.

[missamericadog]

Challenge Mode: ALL EVEN NUMBERS

oh gee ok lets go this is gonna be a while isnt it

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

uh im both like most people i jump between the two. id say moreso shy bc anxiety tho

4. Are you easy to get along with?

i like to hope so! ask my pals

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

nice people and cute people

8. Who from the opposite another gender is on your mind? (fixed question bc theres no such thing as an opposite gender)

lots of pals

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

uh not sure tbh probably my pals Xtina, Poppy and the squad

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

kinda answered!

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

i say i dont but tbh its p obvious i believe in luck to an extent

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

if they were single/in an open or poly relationship now then yes!

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

answered~!

20. Do you like your neighbors?

answered~!

22. Where would you like to travel?

everywhere but esp america and japan

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

sleping

26. What do you do when you wake up?

force myself out of bed after ages, poop, get dressed and eat

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my best pals

30. Do you ever want to get married?

one day

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

idk off the top of my head but uh alison brie and idk who else with off the top of my head im v tired im sorry

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

does sm4sh count

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

HAHAHAHAH OH MY GOD YES

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

idk someone cute and nice and patient w me

40. What do you want to do after high school?

uhm... i finished high school like 5 years ago...

after my post grad ends i want to be a video game producer and eventually a lecturer

42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?

probably anxious or thinking i dunno

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

shoot me into space

46. What are you paranoid about?

my friends leaving me

48. Have you ever been drunk?

hell ye

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

big green

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

id like to be able to communicate better

54. Favourite store?

idk tbh but i do like shops like forbidden planet

56. Favourite colour?

red

58. Last thing you ate?

chicken burger

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

i cant remember tbh sorry but twice now ive been in a team that’s ALMOST won a game jam

62. Been arrested? For what?

no

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

drunk friend took pity on me and pounced on drunk me

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

implying tumblr friends arent real friends

i like all my friends

what kind of question is this

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

twitter these days tbh

70. Names of your bestfriends?

nad, ruaridh (sorry if i spelt your name wrong bro!), poppy, maiko, tara and rob

72. What colour are your towels?

blue and sandy

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

3 or 4

76. What colour is your underwear?

grey rn

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

choco or irn bru

80. What colour pants?

my trousers today were mustard

82. Favourite movie?

inception, to kill a mockingbird or shawshank redemption

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

idk probs jump

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

probs dory???

88. Last person you talked to today?

lou

90. Name a person you love?

all my friends

92. In a fight with someone?

no

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

4 jumpers and 3 hoodies

96. Favourite actress?

off the top of my head idk sorry

98. Do you tan a lot?

im ginger so no

100. How are you feeling?

lonely ngl

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

i try not to but i regret a couple things

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

im human ofc i do

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

sadly

108. What should you be doing?

slep

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

no clue

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

im not american

116. Are you listening to music right now?

yes

118. Do you like Chinese food?

some

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

yes

122. Is cheating ever okay?

i dont think so but maybe it depends on the situation i honestly dunno

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no

126. Are you currently bored?

yes with this meme tbh i dont like some of the questions

128. Would you change your name?

no

130. Do you like subway?

yes

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

didnt i answer this one earlier

134. Can you count to one million?

probably not

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed

138. Curly or Straight hair?

depends

140. Summer or Winter?

winter bc less Big Hot and also my bday and christmas

142. Favourite month?

december bc bday and chrimbo

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk or white

146. Was today a good day?

frustrating

148. What’s your favourite quote?

anything from douglas adams or to kill a mockingbird

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“Foaly chewed a nail.”

[zhaoly]

like pleeeease stop...

ok so like i said i picked up osrs again... and this guy i know also plays (played?) 

and he is literally sending me all these osrs-related memes & pics and things like that and I’m like :| I don’t know what he wants me to say, like “lol!” or something??? every time he sends something??

he also sent this REALLY gross weird gif of like... I don’t even know what it was but it was really gross to me and I was just thinking like why did you send me this.... am i supposed to think this is funny?? it was so gross and makes me feel slightly queasy. honestly that was kind of the last straw i was like.. w h y did you send this

he sent me a bunch of things on discord and i didn’t respond to the latest ones so THEN he messaged me on messenger and i was like... seriously? i dont respond in one place so you just try another? and i just gave like a one word response in the hopes that he would finally realize like.... i really dont feel like messaging you esp after you sent me that really weird gross gif... but HE STILL SENT MORE AND IM LIKE DUDE PLEASE STOPPPPP 

and i don’t want to straight up be like “stop messaging me” because he’s friends with a good friend of mine and like... i guess we’re kinda “friends” too

like maybe part of it is because it takes a while for me to actually want to open up enough to get to know someone... like i dont know him well enough to care to chat.. so when he KEEPS sending me this stuff and then that disgusting gif recently it’s just like... why are you messaging me?? i just dont feel like chatting with you is it not clear? literally our message history is him sending all this stuff and me with like one- or two-word replies... 

OH and one other thing that SUPER bugged me was that someone tagged me in a comment on this facebook post and i was like talking with her on her comment... and out of nowhere he posted something on it and i was like first of all dude why do u think youre part of this and second of all what does your comment even mean?!? i had no clue what relevancy it had but i was just like UGHHH WHY ARE YOU EVERYWHERE

i was probably more annoyed than i should be just because i’m annoyed at him in general but i was just like omg... like i’m p sure he doesn’t even know the girl whose comment he was posting on he just felt the need to insert himself into that conversation for whatever reason

ANNNND he just liked some photos that i posted on our mutual friend’s wall from months ago... like oct-nov.... i’m like......... what are you even DOING

i’m not responding to his last messages again in the hopes that he’ll stop... like it’s so awkward dude! because he is friends with one of my friends and like i was totally cool with him before he started spamming me with these messages.. and like i honestly dont even think it’s cause he likes me, i think he’s just like... awkward and trying to be friends but like i’m like DUDE this is not how i become friends with people and like please please please i have sent SO many social cues that i dont really like these messages and he’s just not picking up on them and like i dont even know what to do UGH