#i hope today has treated you better anon💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

[lovesickgoose]

yesterday i had a dogshit day so I wondered if i could join the soup bandwagon and ask for heavy wrapped up in a blanket while getting a hug

Bear and dog

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

Ok ok so brainrot time. Tarzan AU. You’ve might have touched on this in previous posts but thought I would send you my take in order to cheer you up a bit.

So you’re a biologist from Sumeru, traveling to different forests across Teyvat to study local fauna etc etc. You are currently in Scheznaya and have greatly underestimated just how cold the nation can get, your jacket doing little to protect you from the harsh winds. The blizzard proved to be a formidable foe, however you continued onward, the promise of new discoveries too tempting to give up.

One day you’re out talking notes on a local boar species, one that you had nearly missed it due to it’s white coat blending perfectly into the snow. However in your excitement you forgot to pay attention to your surroundings, resulting in you being ambushed by some nearby hilichurls. You fought back, however these weirdly powerful hilichurls proved to be too much for you to handle on your own. As you lay on the forest floor, you felt the snow bite at your skin as you dove in and out of conciousness. Surely this will be the end, right?

Lucky for you however a certain mothman who had been observing you from afar for the last few days dive in just in time to defeat the remaining hilichurls. His panicked clicking was the last thing you heard before passing out entirely.

When you wake up you’re in FL’s cave swaddled in countless furs. Your wounds seem to have been treated as well.

When FL notices you’re awake he rushes over clicking and cooing at you as you struggle to process the current situation. Maybe it’s from the blood loss or delirium, but you reach out your hand and FL eagerly presses his head into your palm, nudging into it. You smile before a harsh shiver travels through your body as your arm is once again exposed to the winter air. Concerned, FL picks you up and sets you onto his lap allowing you to bury yourself into him. He exudes warmth you haven’t felt in ages, and you can’t help but be lulled into a deep sleep from his gentle purrs. Questions could wait until the morning, it was time to rest.

Oh god I’ve realized how long this has gotten I apologize… I hope life gets better for you hang in there💞

i'm really glad i saved this until today because i desperately needed it, thank you anon <33

the storm has only worsened overnight, the wind starting to howl and shake the trees- it's actually what wakes you up, and your foggy brain only wants to snuggle closer to the glittery moth monster holding you. he's asleep now, yet still purring lethargically, arms draped around your shoulders. reluctantly, you force yourself to slip out of Foul Legacy's hold, inching across the floor to check the supplies in your bag. even the slightest breeze bites at your skin, and your bandaged wounds ache whenever you move, the motion of rummaging through your bag sending sparks of pain dancing down your fingertips. there's not much in there anyway, but at least your notes are still intact.

a shiver runs through you when a snowflake lands and melts on your arm, and a sleepy rumble sounds from behind you as Foul Legacy blinks awake. he looks at you, half-awake and half-dozing, and ambles over. despite his size, he's very gentle as he covers your icy body with one of the furs, brushing your cheek with his claws and cooing. when you reach out your arms, Foul Legacy is quick to pick up and settle you in his lap, cradling you and pressing his forehead into the crook of your neck. questions burn on your tongue, but you can't manage to get them out amidst the claws carefully massaging your sore muscles and the warmth seeping back into your bones. instinctively you snuggle closer and feel the deep croon emitting from Foul Legacy as he relishes your company in the sea of his loneliness and fogged memories.

it's odd, how you're a stranger but he already cares so deeply for you. perhaps it's because you looked upon him with only awe and wonder, not fear and distrust. from what he knows, very few people liked him in the past, but you seem... different, and he rubs his cheek against yours and purrs softly.

back in Snezhnaya, the Harbinger Il Dottore scribbles something in a notebook before tossing it aside. another dead end. but no matter, it's simply another small setback, he muses through a sharp-toothed smile.

i'll find you soon, Tartaglia. no matter how well you hide.

[catcze]

vent: birthdays near christmas is so lame. most of my friends forgot my bday today. i'm disappointed in one friend in particular whose bday was literally yesterday. i stayed up late to greet them at midnight but today, nothing. i always treat people how i wish to be treated, why can't i get such a simple gesture in return?

atleast genshin got my back 🤞

but yeah, sucks to be the nice friend who people take for granted. even more that i don't have the heart to confront them.

also, i often send anonymous asks but i've always been too shy to sign them off. from now on, is it ok it i can be 'xmas anon', it seems like a suitable name for me :')

BABE OMG HI <33 I hope I’m not too late, but happy birthday !!!! :DDDD 💞🎉🎈🎊🎂🎉🎊

Sorry that your birthday has sucked so far, but I hope things get better for you babe! My birthday is just, like, a day after my grandparents’ anniversary, which usually ends up taking spotlight, so I can understand to some degree <//3 Still, I hope you can still enjoy ur birthday w Genshin !!

Also omg ofc you can be my xmas anon <33 I’m glad you got the courage to sign you asks off :DD

[vhvrs]

Hi I normally left messages on curiouscat but seeing as that is gone and that I am a coward I've come here to say my little piece.

Your art never fails to bring a smile to my face. Seriously your art style has to be one of my favorites out there even your sketches blow my mind with their quality and it never fails to make me smile when I see you've posted something new or even just reblogged a piece I haven't seen before. I really love the way you portray characters in your art the little quirks to add to them and such. The way you draw the obey me bros (especially Leviathan) has to be my favorite out there. Same with the oso-san bros.

At this point I'm rambling but I just wanted to say I love your art and that I hope you're doing better. 💞💞💞 I hope today treats you well :))

ive definitely said it before but its absolutely brave to send even anon asks out so you're no coward! you're an immensely sweet person if anything bc messages like this n ur cc ones help make MY day so much brighter and make me less nervous to post my art on days when im feeling less confident about it 😌💗

so thank you greatly for it and the well wishes!! i hope you have a lovely weekend ahead of you 💗!!

[jimkirkachu]

Hi! I have to send this as anon because I'm not active on any social media - I happened on your blog recently, after watching TOS and looking for some gifs of the best moments. I've just read your latest personal blog and I must tell you to please, please, speak to a therapist, someone who can coax you out of your silence. If your family or your friends cannot listen to you, look for someone else. No one should be made to feel unworthy of attention or comfort, now more than ever.

(cont’d under link; CW depression, trauma, anxiety, covid mention, mental illness)

Still me. About the way you describe yourself in the tags: would you talk about a friend like that? Or would you use kinder words? Try to treat yourself like that friend, even if it is a small thing at first, like not using those words. Just tell yourself, like Kirk would, "not today". Life is not perfect, but it is good enough when we can say "not today", one day at a time. I'm not trying to be inspirational, but really, reality is just the story you tell yourself. Words and perspective matter.

I'm the first who'd not the slightest bit comforted whenever someone tells me they've been through a similar situation. But it's dark here, and I feel you need help. I am also a she, whose PhD dream crumbled in March, working in a job with low wages. I am lucky to be healthy and living in the beautiful Italian countryside, in a small community of people whom I call neighbours, but who are actually family. I also have two close friends, though we rarely hug or discuss intimate matters.

And like you, I have never been intimate with anyone: all my crushes were one-sided, all my loves platonic. I used to rage against it too. But we are not the only ones, we are not exceptions. We are not repulsive, or ugly, or unworthy of affection. Ours is simply a different story, one in which we get to work on ourselves first, and harder, to love the process, to love every day, to be who we are and who we cannot help but being, in a time and space in which it's hard to do it. Hang in there.

Oh my heavens, anon. First things first, I am SO so so so sorry if/that I probably missed this when it was originally sent, I've been really bad at human-ing lately and I just hope my poor communication and social media incompetence haven't negatively affected you. I am devastatingly grateful for your support, your kind words, your long and thoughtful comments--despite your advice about self deprecation, I really truly am not worth all the trouble you obviously went to on my behalf, but on the plus side that makes me appreciate your gesture and your time all the more, and with all my heart. 🥺💞💞💞

I do have a therapist, but I've only ever been able to talk to her through a texting-based platform. She’s hopeful that someday I will have worked up to being able to see her in her office; I'm less optimistic, but I guess a little hopeful myself even though I know better than to set myself up for disappointment. 😣 (I'd love to blame it all on the pandemic/quarantine, but I was in therapy for a year and a half before this all started so 😣😣) Given the circumstances, I only hear from her once every couple of weeks (which is less than usual too, since her parents were hospitalized with covid recently and she’s had to take time off to be a caretaker), so I write a LOT whenever the ball is in my court, but instant or even just same-day correspondence with her is... not a thing. Honestly, I just plain old don’t know what to do about any of it.

A significant part of my personal trouble is that I have an undiagnosed sleep problem, and my hypothesis is that it's a sleep phase disorder. I'm consistently awake at times when no one else is (aka overnight), and during the US's lockdowns that has been an especially difficult issue to deal with, as the isolation of quarantine and my nocturnal tendencies have compounded and exacerbated each other, making me feel even more alone than usual. I live with two other people, but I don't see much of them because they're "normal" people who are awake during the day. And of course my depression + ptsd + anxiety (+ everything else) cocktail is at its worst at night, so the result is that a lot of the time I actually spend awake I'm also alone with all of my darkest thoughts. And since one of my most persistent fears/assumptions is that I'm a burden on my family, friends, everyone--well, the thought of waking any of them up in the middle of the night because I'm chronically sad makes me cringe with guilt.

I'm so happy for you that you have those friends and neighbors to lean on and trust. 💜 I've tried to make friends with people on various platforms, including here, discord, and a couple of online "support group"-type message boards/organizations. But every time I form even a small connection with someone, I inevitably end up smothering the poor soul(s) by needing them too much, and/or isolating myself from them because my needy times are in direct conflict with most people's sleep schedules (and, you know, I don't want my neediness to inconvenience or burden anybody). My telephone and video-call anxieties have prevented me from properly keeping in touch with any of the irl friends I had pre-quarantine, besides which I said something really stupid in our group text at the beginning of lockdown and have been too ashamed and afraid to engage much with them ever since. 🤦 In other words, I'm basically caught in a never-ending, self-perpetuating whirlpool of isolation • desperation • embarrassment • paranoia • self-hatred • repeat.

So as for treating myself with the respect I would show anyone else... I’m trying, though I’m mostly failing. Clearly I’m bad at positive self-talk. Clearly I’m eager to use my plethora of mental complications as an excuse for my being so bad at it (especially my perfectionism and rejection sensitivity). Is there hope that I’ll ever get out of this emotional and occupational Charybdis I’ve gotten myself stuck in? Maybe, maybe not. But it hasn’t swallowed me just yet. I hate that all I really feel like I’m doing anymore is circling the drain and delaying the inevitable, but every reminder--like the one you’ve given me--of how much worse I (needlessly) make things on myself is like a little oar that helps me row the tiniest bit outward from the vortex and keeps me breathing just a tiny bit longer. 💜🛶💞 I am trying, at least I think I am, and maybe one of these days I’ll hit on a stroke I can actually replicate and sustain and use to scull my way to safer waters. It’s just... most likely going to take a hell of a lot of oars before I get to that point.

As for my perpetual and permanent state of singleness... obviously there's no way I could function in a romantic relationship while my own mind is this messed up. But even if I ever do somehow manage to get my head above water from a psychological standpoint, I have so much trauma and so many complexes (think ‘touch-deprived touch aversion’ and ‘fear of abandonment’) that I'm reasonably certain that even just one more romantic rejection would break me in the literal and permanent sense. I hope you're able to find whatever kind of relationship(s) you long for (and absolutely deserve!!) in your life, but my complaints about being single are just moments when I lose all my restraint/perspective and get angry about this big, frustratingly isolating Thing that I know I can never change or fix. 😔😖

TL;DR I still feel repulsive, ugly, unworthy of affection. I have no idea who I am, who I’m supposed to be, or who I want to be. I honestly hate this process of trying to learn to love myself (if I was worth loving, wouldn’t I love me already without having to learn how?). But encouragement like yours reminds me that my feelings aren’t necessarily representative of reality, that maybe someday way in the future I’ll actually know who I am, that maybe someday even further in the future I might even like who I am.

Thank you so much again, anon, for seeing me, for reminding me that I *am* still here. And you hang in there, too. I'm still just... overwhelmed by how gracious and compassionate you are, by how heartfelt and meaningful your messages were. Having someone know and acknowledge that I exist feels like more than I can bear right now, so having someone care enough to leave a note like this has me legitimately sobbing with gratitude and humility. 💜💜💜💜💜 I hope this horrible year at least finishes on a high note for you, and that 2021 brings you all the good and wonderful things a good and wonderful person like you should have. 💞💜💞💜💞💜💞💜💞