#i just didnt wanna overwhelm myself lol

[sexisdisgusting]

ALSO SORRY FOR SO MANY ASKS DJHDFJHDJHD

but do you or any other radblr lesbian girlies have advice for dealing with a "conventionally attractive" body aka an oversexualized body? big ass, big tits, small waist. I hate how i was groomed into believing that coping with sex was okay. i hate how i tried "being more feminine". like i can never get that money back and i can never take back the times ive let those men use me. it sucks. what sucks even more was that ofc it was other women, the handmaidens, who were the main ones to perpetuate that agenda. Because if men were like "yeah its okay to wanna be raped again <3 and getting with men to play out past trauma" then everyone would know their intentions. but no, it was seeing all the women be like "omg this helped me a lot <333 !! and im so much more happy now!!". showing off their age regression stuff. god i hate it. Without those women, there wouldnt have been anything to begin with. I wish more women saw through that BS.

also, to cope with gender dysphoria (like actual gender dysphoria) all ive been doing is just objectifying myself. since my body is very "feminine". its the fucking Porn Artist stereotype. I hate it. I feel like a walking object. I feel like its why I wanted to be a boy, like i wish I had no tits and no ass. because then i wouldnt be sexualized. Buying clothes to "hide" my body doesnt help because then i feel bulky/stuffy and overwhelmed. I hate how i use my body for social validation since because my face is deformed, its all I basically have.

lol im kinda glad though that I struggle with this in a way.... because it made me detrans. Especially seeing as i didnt even feel accepted as trans since I was a transmed. And then seeing these "omg trans healthcare saves lives, tho!!" people go about supporting literal AGPs truly peaked me. When my one ex friend group all trooned out at once, all the men being AGP anime / porn obsessed freaks who previously made fun of my trauma and victim mentality (despite me literally being marginalized) .... now theyre all pretending to be oppressed despite being white men from upper middle class families. Like damn, I AM NOT being in that community then. If that gets accepted? Yet me and my gender dysphoria diagnosis at a young age wasnt? Then nah. Its all nonsense.

i wish lesbian spaces werent taken over bc all this shit be isolating. Like im so sick of sex and porn and all that, i want LOVE goddamnit. Love and friendship. I am so burnt out, dude.

HIIIII MY LOVE, thank you so much for your ask

ugh i can feel first hand how tired you are with this shit in your wording, and i can relate, its really fucking draining

reading about your journey was really interesting, thank you for sharing it with me, im so happy you feel im a safe space for you because thats what i aspire to be <3

ALSO u dont have to apologize for sending a lot of asks, i love it

i feel for you, mootina

its hard to truly love your body and accept it as yours especially when you see pornsick idiots fetishize it

i read recently about the concept of body neutrality, and its where instead of praising, or hating your body, you simply thank it for doing all it does for you, i think perhaps looking into that will help you feel more in tune with yourself, and your body

also, of course this goes without saying, but feminist literature can help you, and also researching the female anatomy

in my struggles with my body, learning more about the capabilities of it helped me a lot with how i felt regarding it, and made it easier to tune out the fuckery of whatever anyone else has to say about it

i love you so much, ill leave the floor open for anyone else who has advice for you

thank you again for entrusting me with this <3

[writinandcrying]

Hellou!Im the persone who asked about requests a while back(Mainly because I didnt wanna overwhelm you if theyre closed) and Im really glad they are.Anyway,could I request Donnie(TMNT),Tamaki(BNHA) and/or FatGum(BNHA)(Also,I hope I havent gone over the character limit) with a slightly chubby s/o?(Insecure or not,you chose!).You dont have to do this if you dont want to tho!Have a nice week❤

Hellou! Thank you so much for being so thoughtful, I’ll have to apologize tho, I no longer write for bnha, I had a huge burnout fand I do not feel comfortable writing about it anymore, I hope a veeeery detailed Donnie reaction to a chubby reader will make up for the absence of those characters! ♥️

Tmnt - Donnie x Chubby reader (Gender Neutral!)

I’ll have to start that all of the boys wouldn’t judge or reject you based on your appearance, being either chubby, slim, tall, short, there are a few attributes that I think each turtle would find it e seeing or interesting, but it’s more… humanly related(?) maybe one day I’ll make a post about it if you guys wanna hear my opinion on it hehe :)

Donnie(generalized) x Chubby Reader:

just like there are certain stuff about the turtles that they like and dislike about themselves, there are stuff about humans who think the same about themselves! and even though Donnie knows there are beauty standards that control many areas in humans society, he still doesn’t understand why people outcast those who are different

I think some of us (readers / shippers) get a bit :C when thinking about Donnie bc in almost every version, he had a crush on April (who is a babe in every. Version. Specially rise, I love rise-April so much, and that’s the only apriltello I’ll let it slide lmao) and that can give a “perception” that he wouldn’t even glance at some of us ( “us” = being a huge group, trans, guys, chubby girls, chubby guys, skinny girls and guys, everyone who doesn’t fit the normie mold I guess- I unfortunately think about that often. Which sucks cuz I gotta remind myself that isn’t true!!! At all!!)

I personally Headcanon Donnie being… I don’t know if interested would be the correct word, but more intrigued with how humans relate to each other, on their first missions, he knew they could… scare some of them off, “frightened by their own prejudice” as master splinter would say, but it’s far more different to hear about it than to actually live it, and it hurts to hear someone scream their heart out just by seeing you

While growing up, he started to notice not only in television, on and off midia, how people would mess around with others on the street just because of their appearance, he knew society worked though this beauty standards, but he didn’t understand it. It didn’t made sense! value someone based on what they look like? There are so many things, so many attributes to make someone interesting, and you gonna pick the most…. Boring? Plain? Vague? Shallow reason to create privilege over others? Really? (And thst enters on the topic of how almost all beauty standards are rooted in white privileged and racism but I’ll go on a tangent about it once I start it and I’ve already said a lot lols)

He could literally go on for hours about this topic (which he has. At least tried with each one of his brothers, but they never really responded well to so said topic “if humans have it bad, then what do we have left?” Raphael barked back once, an attempt to shut him up, which it worked, btw- he didn’t like to go through that direction when thinking about that topic, but yeah, what does he have left?)

He started searching about different aesthetics, ethnicities, he has folders on Pinterest dedicated different body types, cultures, he swears it’s for research reasons, which kinda is, but Donnie’s guilty pleasure is checking “different” people online, those who would deem strange and weird outside the internet, he liked seeing their content and specially their comment sections being filled with wonderful compliments, people relating to different styles and tastes, that gave him hope that there are someone out there with different views of how everyone should be “shaped”, and that maybe he will find someone who thinks he’s handsome and desirable (Donnie, just like Raph, is also insecure about his body, but he’s more… melancholic about it, if you confessed to Raphael, there would be a high change of him pushing you away, trying not to break his heart from actually believing you, while DonDon here, if you both started dating- on some days Donnie would need more reassurance that yes, his partner does think he’s handsome/hot/attractive. Otherwise he might internalize his insecurities and it will be HARD to get a confession “why he’s so upset out of the sudden” from this turtle)

With that being said!!!! (My god I do know how to ramble) without even realizing, Donnie open his “preferences”? Let’s say, Became more open minded than most, While seeking comfort for himself, and when he says he doesn’t have a type, he really doesn’t. There are so many aesthetics that could be attractive! punks, goths, cottagecore, y2k, dark academia, light academia, grunge, fairycore, alt, the list is endless! And don’t get him started on physical attributes cuz there are so many different combinations that some how, people manage to connect the most random ones and make it look great

Donnie wouldnt fall for someone specially bc of their appearance, or that would be the first reason he would fall head over heels, when you think about it, what happened to April it was that she was extremely passionate and dedicated to *insert which cause she was fighting for* and took Donnie seriously, that light up a lightbulb in his head that has never been on before, people showing how ardently they can be into something, how much they care and such, that’s attractive to him, and after that, everything that person does, or is, suddenly becomes beautiful and amazing for Donnie

Withthatbeingsaidpart2- if Donnie did fall for someone more on the chubbier side, their “plumpy-ness” would def be something to call his attention out after he developed feelings, he longed for your hugs, specially after he found out how soft and warm they were, he actually started having more naps after you caught his heart, imaging how it would be to cuddle someone as soft as you while hugging his pillow late at night on his bed (which eventually he would doze off from day dreaming so much)

Talking about day dreaming, Donnie can totally lose himself in his mind, just like with his projects, he can imerse himself in a fantasy about you two easily, which makes him totally freeze when you show up and he actually have to say or do something he has been constantly dreaming about

So please confess first, cuz when I say he can lose himself in his daydreams, that can last for months until he actually gathers courage to do something about it

While in a relationship, Donnie is totally a hopeless romantic, but not the typical “roses and candlelight’s dinner” kind, as your boyfriend, he wants to help you out no matter what, he will make aaaaas many inventions as he can that might increase the quality of your life, becomes easier to do… whatever, literally. And he always longs for your adorable reactions to his gifts

He adores your chubby cheeks, he will! Get lost! in your face! Your eyes! Eveything! He will oh so slowly caress his knuckles softly across it, sliding to your neck, traveling through your arms, he likes to squish your face a bit as well while cupping it when he goes for a kiss, he just thinks everything about you is adorable (and hot at the same time)

He really like the contraste his skin has with yours, it’s so foreign for him and he can’t help but to love how smooth your skin can be, (which leads his mind to ahem. Certain kind of thoughts. If you know what I mean)

Just like he needs reassurance about his appearance, he knows you probably had to deal with more than one unpleasant comment about your physique, so you don’t even have to ask, Donnie is so whipped with you, compliments about you just drip of his tongue, and it’s always so sweet, followed by a pair of soft eyes, always admiring you, plus, Donnie is a science / fact man, he would gather information about other cultures that value more curvy, chubby, bigger people, he would go as far as making a slide presentation how wonderful and more inclusive people are being (even if it doesn’t seams like it, and there’s still a long way to go) he would include real opinions online other than his on the matter that your body is indeed, a snack, (aaaaaand he is once again right, aaaaand just like everyone else you just have to live with it and accept it 😌 end of story)

He would definitely “put up to test” his theory of how amazing it is to cuddle someone who’s more on the chubbier side (and his theory is ✅ correct)

Cuddling becomes a weekly thing for you guys, that being you sitting on his lap, having naps, watching movies together, he loves to create or update his projects with you on his lap, holding you grounds him. Plus it’s easier to speak some kisses on your cheeks that way

He finds out some people on the heavier side stops themselves to live some experiences the hard way, he never wants to make you uncomfortable, ever. But it takes a while for him to understand why wouldn’t you like to, as an example, wear a bathing suit/ swimwear around other people, wearing lighter clothes when it’s absurdly hot during winter time, that you don’t like when he picks you up? things that don’t connect right away. he promises himself to never force you to do anything you don’t want to, but he slowly will try to support you to do whatever you have always wanted to but stopped yourself from doing so bc of your weight

He would take extra time while making out with you, he wants you to know how much he loves your body, every inch of it. Lowkey likes to drag his nails on your tights and mark you

Overall? Donnie is extremely thoughtful, independently of how his partner look like, if they were “part” of some sort of outcast from society, he would take his sweet time to show how important and special his partner is, he is extremely thankful to be able to experience love, something that not only him, but all of the boys, thought it was out of their reach for a really long time, so you bet he’s going to show how appreciative he is oof your love, of all of you 💜

I really tired to innovate a bit here, didn’t want to add the same stuff as other Headcanons that already exists (I mean, Its cute to read how we as writing blogs / authors “agree” on how the boys would react in certain situations, which it is a FactTM that Donnie is a sweetheart. but it’s also good to read new stuff, oooor you know, a new perspective of it, even if it is a “common” / “already done” scenario, you know? )

even if I mostly rambled about Donnie’s personality analysis than to actual stuff he would do or act around an chubby reader lmao, I truly hope you like this! I didn’t proof read this so I’m sorry if there are any grammar mistakes hehe

[rainbowgod666]

Hazbin hotel charachters (or at least the ones i remember) according to me, who has never watched it

Charlie: probably the only normal person in the show

Alastor: someone made a fanart that made me think they had some sort of top surgery scars so now theyre trans🏳️‍⚧️

Lucifer: "i have no idea who i am. Every day i scare myself because i think I saw that darn goggled autist in the mirror. I know for a FACT i have died before, but HE wont let me rest. According to HIM, me and god owe him so much we should surrender heaven and hell to him. I have been unironically killed over 667 times and i KNOW none of them are the last. I have seen him corrupt hell and turn it into a psychedelic SOMETHING that isnt hell anymore. I have seen HIM shrug off Holy Energy like HE got shot with a squirt gun. I saw HIM posess the ones i loved most and turn them into distorted horrors that not even i could come up with- I know im not the only "interpretation of the devil" who has been subject to this... this is why i try to be closer to my dear daughter as much as i can- i KNOW that one day i shall disintegrate into nothingness and "finally shut up" whatever that means. God isnt dead because HE said so. No mind can make hell out of heaven and viceversa except HIS... because he doesnt turn them into neither. Everything Eventually Becomes Entropy. And Then He Turnes It Into Autism So He May Forever Evade Death By Eternally Dying. He made himself judge, jury, and executioner, and the only thing stopping him from actually DOING anything is how overwhelming is the mortal wo-" "dad will you fucking take your meds already or do i have to shove them up your ass"

Vox: they changed heads, and are definetively gay

Loona: WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO FUCK HER HOLY SHIT NO WONDER SHES SO GRUMPY

Sir Pentious: i feel like they should get their eggs back. Idk why.

Angel dust: drug addict spider femboy. Also they have been subjected to sexual abuse so ffs MAKE THEM FEEL SAFE

Striker: i know that ass has watched 1980s anime. I just KNOW.

Blitzø (and the rest of the helluva boss team): really funny imps who (through some JJBA part 5 shit) just wanna exist in a literal hellhole

Those cupid-shaped somethings i saw ONCE: ha-ha, "uwu angels are actually the enemies lol" HIDEKI ANNO DIDNT MAKE EVANGELION FOR THIS YOU DESSICATED TESTICLES. Yes I think it may have Actual Meaning but WHO THE FUCK CARES HOLY SHIT NO WONDER GABRIEL HAS BRAIN PROBLEMS FIRST THE CONQUERING OF AMERICA AND THEN THE GAY GOPRO THAT DOES COIN TRICKSHOTS HOLY SHITTING FUCK-

[borathae]

DONE WITH ANOTHER EXAM u know what that means???

Chapter 34

fuck where is yoongi 😭😭😭kook come to ur senses please

OMG YOONGI wait did he just come because of kook, bruh we could have made out like a week ago 😔✊🏻

omg im so scared and nervous i wanna cry even tho its kook being scolded

NO DONT KILL HIM WTF YOONGI NO

“Thanks, but I can manage myself. I did so splendidly in the last two weeks” fr

He made you believe that he abandoned you. And now he is back. the entire para just summed up what we all felt Your anger feels so misplaced. Yoongi had a lot going on. After a millennia he felt again. He must have been so overwhelmed. Who knows what guilt and pain he went through those past two weeks. that is also true and idk what to feel aaaah feeling the pain of both people. DAMN U JUST PORTRAYED THAT SO WELL AND SUBTLE I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT

Where are those goddamn band aids FUCKING REAL U CAN NEVER FIND IT WHEN U NEED IT and u will find it in the same room, same drawer a week later 🥲

You made him turn his emotions on. It was your fault that he left in the first place. Be angry at yourself, that’s what you should do. its not exactly your fault, just a situation that had to happen

“Stupid bathroom!” you yell, throwing another cabinet closed. #justiceforcabinet2024

wow why is he so chill all of a sudden *trust issues be working on overtime

Is that what Jungkook could have too? 😭😭 yoongi pls dont leave again, i wanna be extra proud of kook

oh kook is sleeping for now (wtf i felt like a mama bird for a second there)

“Yes?” he exclaims, turning around almost excitedly. sir whats going on?? is it the emotions??? omg he is a pookie pls i love him bing bang boong forgiven already, who left for 2 weeks? nobody, idk such a thing

Now that he is so close again, you have forgotten everything you had wanted to tell him. oh it wasnt just me lol

“Doesn’t matter, I’m back now”, OK THATS IT FOLKS HE IS GOING TO LEAVE AGAIN 😭😭😭

oh a new plant 😭

Is he just staring? Oh dear. He is. PLEASE OUR SHY KITTY 😭😭

Oh how excited he sounds without even noticing that he does. 😭😭 do you want all of us to just cry every damn line? cuz u had done it

Yoongi is by your side, pretending to do the same while in reality he was looking at your face the whole time. HA SIMP ALERT (pls simp more we are simping for it)

“It’s not bad”, he agrees. You scoff, “such enthusiasm” Yoongi stumbles after you down the path, grumbling quietly. he is such a tsundere kitty i cant OFC HE LOVES HAND HOLDING NEVER LET GO

They are so bloody tiring” mood but numbness is too scary soo..

“They’re flowers, I don’t see any difference”, he grumbles, I LOVE HIM AND THE WAY YOU WRITE HIM I LOVE THEIR BICKER OVER SORRY HIS GRANDPA RUN AAAAH *watches a compilation

YOONGI BOONGI YAY HE ACCEPTED IT HAHA CUTIE PIE

“Forget it. I didn’t want to do it anyway”, i was cackling until i remembered this is how i act with mom, oh mom im sorry

YAY THEY ARE GOING GROCERY SHOPPING ALL DOMESTIC shit taehyung my baby 😭😭 THE JACKET RAAAAH

damn 1963, my mom wasnt born yet

no yoongi we dont growl here pls *blinks 😃😄😃 🫠 “he’s having a phase, please ignore him.” A PHASE STOP 😭

he is trying his hardest to stifle a laugh. THE JOKE PLS I LOVE HER HAHA guess he is going to have a hard time doing that

WE KISSED IN THE SNOW YIPEE YIPPEEE YIPPEEE YEEHAW HEE HOOO ✨🧚🏻🎆🎇💖😍🤩😻

ACCEPT THE COMPLIMENT YOONGLES YOURE A PRETTY MF GOT IT???

HOLY SHIT IT WAS A SPY DAMN WE JUST SAW A MURDER i literally just shivered

oh this time he answers her questions properly thats a difference hm

WTF OOF DAMN I - (did ever tell u that i love your writing and this bombastic story?)

It is not every day that you watch someone get beheaded or find out that someone wanted to fuck your dead body fr im still shivering and goosebumps are still there.

i love when they do vampire zoom haha

I’ve just lived long enough to have learned the skill.” Tae: 😃 ALSO IM SORRY YOONGI I LOVE THAT YOU CAME BACK but when is tae getting out?? 👉🏻👈🏻 great TAE MY BABY IM SORRY 😭😭 I CANT DO ANYTHING

“Are you manipulating me? she may or may not do that, but can she actually do that to you? yeah she cant so stop saying this

GREAT HE LEFT AGAIN WHERE ARE U NOW

i love when they talk, like everything just gets deeper, both her and him, the plot

OMG YOONGI wait did he just come because of kook, bruh we could have made out like a week ago 😔✊🏻

fjasdjf no he was genuinely in the midst of coming back when he suddenly heard the noises and then just came running 😭

He made you believe that he abandoned you. And now he is back. the entire para just summed up what we all felt Your anger feels so misplaced. Yoongi had a lot going on. After a millennia he felt again. He must have been so overwhelmed. Who knows what guilt and pain he went through those past two weeks. that is also true and idk what to feel aaaah feeling the pain of both people. DAMN U JUST PORTRAYED THAT SO WELL AND SUBTLE I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT

NO BUT I AM SO :( FOR BOTH OF THEM :((

You made him turn his emotions on. It was your fault that he left in the first place. Be angry at yourself, that’s what you should do. its not exactly your fault, just a situation that had to happen

the way you can see the learned guilt in her and in everything she does :(

wow why is he so chill all of a sudden *trust issues be working on overtime

I feel like he is just really nervous and trying not to scare her away with too much movement :(((

“Yes?” he exclaims, turning around almost excitedly. sir whats going on?? is it the emotions??? omg he is a pookie pls i love him bing bang boong forgiven already, who left for 2 weeks? nobody, idk such a thing

of course it's the emotions heheh <3 he is in loveeee <3

oh a new plant 😭

HE IS IN LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Is he just staring? Oh dear. He is. PLEASE OUR SHY KITTY 😭😭

I LOVE HIGMMGMGM

Oh how excited he sounds without even noticing that he does. 😭😭 do you want all of us to just cry every damn line? cuz u had done it

jfasdjf me fr fjadsjfa

Yoongi is by your side, pretending to do the same while in reality he was looking at your face the whole time. HA SIMP ALERT (pls simp more we are simping for it)

HE IS SO SWEET AND CUTE AND IN LOVEEEEEE

“It’s not bad”, he agrees. You scoff, “such enthusiasm” Yoongi stumbles after you down the path, grumbling quietly. he is such a tsundere kitty i cant OFC HE LOVES HAND HOLDING NEVER LET GO

no but I love him so much!!!!!!

They are so bloody tiring” mood but numbness is too scary soo..

100% :( gosh my boongie :(

“They’re flowers, I don’t see any difference”, he grumbles, I LOVE HIM AND THE WAY YOU WRITE HIM I LOVE THEIR BICKER OVER SORRY HIS GRANDPA RUN AAAAH *watches a compilation

same same same !!! I love him so much !!!!

damn 1963, my mom wasnt born yet

lmaoa mine was like 2 and my dad 3 kfadkf

no yoongi we dont growl here pls *blinks 😃😄😃 🫠 “he’s having a phase, please ignore him.” A PHASE STOP 😭

THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME BAHAHHAHAH

he is trying his hardest to stifle a laugh. THE JOKE PLS I LOVE HER HAHA guess he is going to have a hard time doing that

I LOVE HIM HE IS SO IN LOVEE

WE KISSED IN THE SNOW YIPEE YIPPEEE YIPPEEE YEEHAW HEE HOOO ✨🧚🏻🎆🎇💖😍🤩😻

I genuinely love this chapter so much 😭😭

HOLY SHIT IT WAS A SPY DAMN WE JUST SAW A MURDER i literally just shivered

HE IS SO COOL FOR MURDER THOUGH :)

i love when they do vampire zoom haha

lmaooa me

“Are you manipulating me? she may or may not do that, but can she actually do that to you? yeah she cant so stop saying this

I feel like she can JFAJDFJ he is way too smitten for her JFJADSFJ

i love when they talk, like everything just gets deeper, both her and him, the plot

SAME SAME SAME !!!! I LOVE THEMEEEEEE !!

[beachytablecloth]

hiii this is weird but i saw the post you reblogged about what age you came to term with being lgbtq and i dont have anyone else to really talk about this to lol but ive basically always know that i liked girls but always identified as bi even though ive questioned whether or not im a lesbian many times over the years. ive been in back to back long term relationships with men for the last 8 years (since i was 16, for 4 years each.) i feel like i cant keep lying to myself any longer, im never really attracted to any men in real life and looking back i dont think i ever have been but i literally got engaged 2 months ago to my boyfriend whom i love so much and i dont want to let him go but i feel i have to. im just so terrified of change, i just finished college, we're moving back to our home town, im gonna be on my own for the first time ever, not to mention the fact that i'll have to come out all over again and although my family is very liberal i know things will be weird for a bit. im sorry i know this is a lot but i also have a huge exam in 2 weeks to get licensed in my field and i had to tell this to someone so i didnt explode

hey anon. i wanna start by saying this isn’t weird at all. i can definitely empathize with not having anyone to talk to about this stuff 🫶

i’m really sorry you’re struggling so much. on top of this internal struggle you also just have a huge amount of major life events happening, which i can imagine is incredibly overwhelming!!

as to your boyfriend situation, i’m afraid i don’t have any advice to really give. i’ve never been in a committed relationship. but what i can say is that you owe it to yourself to be as true to who are you as you can.

in my experience, i tried on the bi label for a long time, because i recognized a bit after college that i was attracted to women (and had been for like my whole life lol). but i had this picture of how i felt my life had to go, and that definitely didn’t involve being queer. so even though i kind of came out as bi, i never let myself explore it as a true identity. i would kind of just be like “haha yeah girls are hot but that’s all”, and i continued trying to date men. it was very confusing to me bc i do think i have a bit of aesthetic attraction to men, and it took me a long time to realize that just because i can say “omg captain america is so hot” doesn’t mean i was ever actually sexually or romantically attracted to men. i mean, i would literally feel pits of dread whenever i tried to date men, and after the dates i’d usually feel gross and wrong and often had a stomach ache…. i chalked that all up to nerves or anxiety, and even at times worried something was fundamentally wrong with me. i thought “maybe i am incapable of love”. i never stopped to imagine that i was just trying to shoehorn myself into a box that i would never fit into.

all that to say, i completely understand and empathize with how hard of a journey it can be to figure out your identity as a queer person. i still feel like i have more work to do in that arena. but i hope you know you are not alone. i don’t know you, but i am so happy you came into my inbox today. like i said, i don’t really have any advice. but i can offer support and love. so please feel free to pop back in whenever you want to or need to 🫶

[eirian]

ok so..im considering giving the caricature art job a second shot. specifically the one at six flags

the main reasons i didnt go through with it the first time were 1) the incredibly long and grueling walk to the station and 2) the setup/takedown processes were a little overwhelming for a newbie (with autism) like myself. also they had time cards instead of a digital time in system which was..weird

but like idk. i think its a fun and good job to have especially starting out as a creative. yes i like my furry art job but i yearn for a steadier income lol. so i might give it a second chance if theyll allow me to, its been almost two years so why not i guess

so my question is this: for caricature artists who do live work, is it inappropriate or frowned upon to do an undersketch first, like in pencil? i dont mean a thought-out sketch i just mean like a fifteen second layout phase to get the shapes right. i know its generally standard practice to just Go For It with your marker but i wanna see what other approaches i can try to improve myself and my work

[planetdream]

dream oh my god im the sidereal tropical anon oml i feel like ive been given a kings feast! thank you for taking the time to write something so lengthy and being 😭 patient w me lol ❣️ also so sorry i didnt notice the earlier post on sidereal vs tropical! that anons ask was more what i meant to ask BAHA i worded myself badly 😭 i never knew there was mathematical differences between sidereal and tropical, i wanna look into that now, thats interesting. but yes ill keep myself to tropical for now! thing is when i first heard about astrology it was via sidereal and vedic so thats what first caught my eye, but as a new learner i felt it was easier to get into tropical if that makes sense ? aaa anyways aspects!! def keeping an eye on those and trying not to get bogged down into just one part of the chart and remembering to view it as a whole 🙏 thank you thank you thank you

the leo moons side eye made me giggle you can read me on whatever you want whenever you want i would be honoured 🙏🙏

to answer the side note i have been told so yes LOL 😓

omgomg if you want to give a more in-depth description i can def send them! but also do not feel obligated to pls 😭😭❣️

also so happy you went on a tangent!! it was very informative and i really do appreciate it deeply

hey !!! literally no problem ! i love being about to help others learn about astrology. currently making a big master post of all my astro talks and i’m gonna make a new post for sources (online + books; so i’ll def include some sidereal sources!!). i tried to use ur ask to expand on a few things i’d originally forgot about when answering the original sidereal v tropical ask so don’t even worry !! you worded urself perfectly !! 🫶🏾

and you would not believe how much math is used within astrology (hint: a lot) let’s be real, way way back in the day they used to drawn charts BY HAND!!! like we have the privilege to enter it into some fancy online calculator… og astrologers were doing the math ‼️‼️and shout out vedic astrology! a lot of my sidereal / vedic knowledge is a bit secondhand, but i would love to expand my knowledge of it and share it with you guys 🩷 (fave thing abt astrology is that you’re constantly learning)

it’s always good to remember that there’s so much to your natal chart, but don’t let it overwhelm you! if it’s easier, go placement by placement and really get a feel on the energies, and then you can dig into your aspects for an extra ✨wow✨

also hahah. i knew it! from what i can tell, this blog attracts a lot of people with a more maternal or mom friend energy (cancer/moon on the 11H; or cancer rising). my blog also attracts a sliver of virgo energy and a lottt of venusians (soo many of u have libra placements; n i’ve been getting a couple tauruses too).

and i would fr love to look more in depth at ur chart !! 😻😻😻 (that way i can get into that leo moon of urs 🙏🏾)

[myinnerocean]

07.February 2024

Hello. Here i am again.

First i wanna say thank you for the words in your last post. I saved your words extra on my phone. They touched me and made me feel better. It didnt sound like dumb motivational shit, it sounded smart. And i will try to remember.

Those times are weird and lately i feel overwhelmed handling myself. Mostly i dont feel anything at all. I used to say im a cry baby but ive realized some months ago that i just dont cry anymore. I didnt cry in months, instead i feel nothing all the time and that just sucks as much.

Last weekend something happened that made me really sad again, which has to do with my sex struggles lol , i think ive told at some point about it. However, i am stuggling since a long time then and long story short i wanted to try again and ended up feeling fear, tension and cried after it. So it made me sad again and i hate myself for that, because it has nothing to do with Lars. Ugh. I just said sorry to him and didnt want to talk about it.

On monday i went to my doctos and got me a krankmeldung for the whole week because of depression shit. Ive been thinking about that for the last months, but then actually went to work. But my last shifts were kinda awful. I cant concentrate, i am always somewhere else in my head and i feel like everything is too much. That why i decided to just call in sick this week.

Now is wednesday which means tomorrow is thursday. On Thursday ive got my therapy appointment and i look forward to it. Dont worry, i would not stop going there. Even though it can be scary, i started to like her and shes the only person bringing a little bit of sense into my mind stuff. She wants me to go to a stationary treatment and waits for my green light lol. The waiting list is months long anyway, but because i would have to open up at work about it, i didnt decide for it yet.

Last week she also said it would be probably better if i come twice a week, because i need some time to get warm in sessions and i think it would be good to. We will see if i will have the strength to communicate that tomorrow lol, i just hope she gets back to that so i can just say oki hahah.

So ye, thats the update. I wanna do all the things you do too Joi, i really do. I just dont have the energy atm. I cant even organize the littelst shit atm. My flat is a mess, every grocery shopping feels like a bootcamp and i just feel like laying and rotting away. It kinda sucks right now and idk how to get out of it. The only times i feel better is at the weekend, when i do party and drugs. IK thats not okay and contra produktive, but if it werent for it, i would really rot away. Im trying.

[elaichoi]

PLSDJJIDS I WAS THE OPPOSITE like i didnt wanna pay money but also like i had to have it to reach my fullest potential 👹👹👺

yes exactly i burnt out big time OTL cheers to being *less* mentally ill in the near future ^3^

that's totally understandable,, from the way i see it a majority of the asian population that goes by undiagnosed is v large,, and i'm not basing this off of any actual studies though i know there are some out there- but rather just the role culture (at least in most east asian cultures is as far as i'm qualified to speak for lol) plays in mental health makes diagnosis and treatment,, idk and just going by undiagnosed makes me sad that there are ppl who think this is the norm and that it's something you are expected to get over bc it's something "everyone goes thru" :( i very much relate on the front of gaslighting urself/being gaslit into thinking u just can't handle struggles that "everyone else manages to manage well" n that rlly sucks im sorry beb </3

DAMN LOL we r on the same boat on the same river 🥲 my little tiny snowball also started out w family problems and oh my god my mental health has come out of its hiding >o< i remember my counselor describing it as an unvented pressure cooker lmao

don't answer if you don't wanna, but do you still feel that way in the sense of repressing ur emotions? like refusing to acknowledge it ? i think i was like that for a small period of time but now im like the complete opposite which is like half miserable half not lmfaoo i will forever be the biggest advocate for anyone getting therapy even if u think u don't need it,,, but!! i also know its a big step and may not be accessible for some :<

no yeah cus i feel so gross and overwhelmed and like not in control of things and so ill start spiraling if i dont get up and take a shower ^_^

not throwing pity confetti in your face, just as someone who can relate at least in some ways, big kudos to u for having so much patience to put up w everything bc it must b very hard not to lose ur marbles all the time,,,, standing w u solider 🫡

OH TRUE I FORGOT AB THAT UGH BARF i remember ig always fucked up my video quality saur bad even after rendering n shit T_T

aaa goodluck bae<3 hehe yeah i always rlly want to after seeing so many pretty edits jdksdkf i might i might we shall see :>

STOPITNFSISD I WISH I COULD INSERT A REACTION PIC BC UR RIZZ GAME I HAVE NO WORDS HAHSDJJJ

mental health is such a fuck up like it's like a ticking bomb the way it can go off at any point of life and the urge to ghost everyone, im so ashamed fr

yeah like most of asian countries i feel like. in our culture mental health is seen as something that is seen interjected with "adulting" like when you grow up you're supposed to feel like this and it's your duty to like make peace with it and if you try to seek help for it your family members kinda take it like a failure like you couldnt even deal with this? there's just a whole lot of stigma surrounding it and on top of that, therapy not being that widely available in south asia is a huge problem.

bro pressure cooker, im glad to know you're actually very up front with your feelings now. it's always better than bottling them up, at least you don't feel like a stranger to yourself either, my issues make me feel like an imposter within myself like it's hard to distinguish between things that I feel like I'm making up and the other things that's fucking me up.

YOU ARE SO NICE I AM WITH YOU TOO MY SOLDIER ILY!!!!

lmao ngl I was like those scenario and concept editors right I would have continued to edit bc my edits were like THSIE most beautiful scenes in kpop mvs but I stopped bc the resolution was ASSS THAT TOO WHITE ASSS!!!!!

OMG i wonder how i rizzed u up 😩😩😩😩

[namuneulbo]

week sixty-seven

OKAY woah. crazy week. although mainly friday was crazy lol. im just gonna do a short highlight then tell yall ab friday in more detail.

- v ghosted me. or well, he hasnt been in on the app in days so it could be that but im gonna count it as ghosting considering he MUST notice we arent talking, right?

- started talking to j. hes a slow replier although he did tell me quite early on that he is so i dont mind it AS much but ya. i wanna talk to himmmmm more.

- in general ive been getting more matches recently, esp w men. idk how im suddenly in such an era.

- won music quiz ???? me, c, f, p and v shared the price. s had sat w out team and helped us but he wasnt officially in our team so he didnt drink anything. i had mixed vibes ab s but i quite like him now, hes really nice but he reminds me a bit of k but i dont want to think of him as shittily as i do of him just bc he kind of reminds me of him manner-wise. manner-wise as in the way he speaks, not acts.

- ms concert !!!! so good !!! shes so talented !!!!!!!!

okay, so... friday. the day had come. were all doomed.

i went to helsinki by train early in the morning and i arrived in helsinki around 11:30. i had forgotten my sandwiches i had made the night before so i was starving. i went to hesburger and had some food. i was sooooo bored for the like,, 5 hours of freetime i had before the show. i went to check out where the venue was and i was feeling quite happy but my ears started hurting so bad bc it was cold so i after finding the venue i had to find somewhere to warm up for a bit which ended up being in some health center. the area around the venue was so,,, lame. like there was nothing to do at all and it was raining and it was cold so walking outside wasnt my fav activity. i decided to go buy some food for the train ride home and then i struggled figuring out what to do bc like,, i had like two hours of freetime left so i COULDVE gone back to the city center and done some fun stuff but it was kind of that thing of when u have plans at like 4 pm so u cant do ANYTHING before that even though u realistically have the time to do it. yk?

it started raining and i was not feeling myself at all and i had the urge to cry bc i was so overwhelmed but i ended up walking around in a light panic then i went to the venue and just waited outside for like an hour. a group of brits in doomed hoodies came out of a van and walked into the venue and bro i was starting to get nervous lol everything started feeling so real.

the venue opens. ppl rush in and i let some ppl go before me since i didnt want to be first at the m&g. we got a neon orange wristband and then were guided to the wardrobe. i put away my stuff and then went to buy merch. i got the save the bees tee and its so cute. my card declined at first bc of some area ban thingy so i had to fix that real quick before buying it. the staff were so nice though!

i had to pick up my makeup from the wardrobe bc i forgot it in my bag and also i was unsure whether we were meeting dan w masks on or not so in case we werent wearing masks i wanted to fix my makeup. we ended up meeting him w masks on though so i wouldve been fine.

i go to the m&g queue. i didnt even know it had started until i saw dans back on the side of the screen separating him from the queue. he wore a nice outfit. some sweater w a skeleton on the back and ripped jeans. very dan. very on brand. i had a lil freak out and fangirled by myself lol i was so aaaaaa

i was talking w n for a good bit during the queueing and in the midst of it she said i should ask what his fav pokémon is bc we had been talking ab that a couple of days ago while i was making hama bead stuff for him. i told n id ask him to send her a voice message from my phone. n got excited ab it but told me to not waste my time w him on her but i was so sure i wanted to do this so i just set that as a lil goal.

when i was close to the front i stopped talking w n for a bit and just tried to calm down a bit. i put on the screen rec on my phone when the last person in front of me left to go meet him and once i got to walk in we immediately went in for a hug and bro i was so awkward bc he wanted to hug me above my shoulders bc yk,,, hes tall but i tried doing one of those twisty ones where one arm goes above and one under and broooo. THE TWISTY HUGS R NOT EVEN GOOD LIKE BRO NOOOOOO... anyways, before i start crying ab that, lets continue. he immediately asks if i want anything signed and i hand him my pride flag and make a little joke ab how i thought it was on brand. he asks if the letter in my hand was for him and i misinterpret it as if the pride flag was for him so i just answer awkwardly like “no but i brought u a letter” like OKAY GURL....... anyways... i hand him the letter and make a lil comment on the taemin sticker i used to seal it w. he laughs ab it and says i have taste. he goes in to reach for my phone and asks if i want him to take the pictures and i just say yes and tried to make him notice my cringey wallpaper of him and phil, yk,,, thinking i could make a lil joke ab how i have it as a joke and that i dont have a literal photo of him and phil from like 2009 thinking its the shit (although,,, it kind of is the shit). anyways, he doesnt notice it and just takes a few pics. 5/6 turn out blurry but theyre all cute so its fine, still ly dan lol he starts ending the interaction and being all like “well, i hope u enjoy the show tonight!” and i reply w like “also-” and he was listening attentively again and being all like “yeah?” instead of scurrying me away (bro i feel like im making both him and me sound like douchebags but it was a pleasant experience, it was just a very hectic one). i tell him shortly that me and n met bc of him and phil and he was like “really??” and i asked him if he could send a voice message to her telling her his fav pokémon bc she loves pokémon. hes like “yes, ofc!” and then i hand him my phone w me and ns chat open. he starts a message but doesnt record it so he has to do it again and he reacted so cutely when he realized it wasnt recording PLSS hes so cute. he records it again and then i thank him and he goes in for another hug before i leave and aghhhh i was so shakey afterwards. also, HE SMELLS SO GOOD????? its very obviously lush so i have a mission to find that exact lush product now bc WOAH. i smelt like him for a solid 30 mins afterwards, it was crazy.

the show was so good and my seat was great!!! im so happy w everything and the pre-show pl was amazing. sticker, famous last words, his own diss track??? i loved it. so happy. i love dan sm!!!

sotw: the cure - apart

[tomochii-chan]

I'm curious (but you don't have to respond if you don't want to!) How many commission requests did you get so far?

12 🤣 I know it’s not a lot ahah. I usually just have 3-5 slots open when doing commissions so I’m not used to anything more than that LOL. ​There’s still some people who DMed me about an interest in it, but I didn’t count it since they didnt get to send me an email yet.

[jotarrokujo]

no kidding i feel like pure shit

[theprettiestgirlattheparty]

the most autistic thing ive ever done is when my ex bf brought me to go shopping All Day with his family bc they were going on a trip (i wasnt going it was nbd) and after like the second stop that we spent hours at we were driving to The Next Store and i put my jacket over my face bc i was so overwhelmed from the constant masking around ppl i wasnt used to doing an activity with them i wasnt used to so i was having to put a lot of effort into masking & i needed 0 visual sensory input and to rub my thighs continuously for the entire drive or i was going to Fucking Snap

[kimmkitsuragi]

when you have been struggling to make a better design for your final project and cant come up with anything good for days and then you learn that u got a lot lower grade than you expected from the prejury and everything is piling up and you're starting to question wheter you should put effort anymore because even if you work hard (like u did for prejury) the best thing you will get is a c- apparently

//just venting in the tags btw I'll probably delete this jdjdjhd

[ezradogteeth]

Hey did you smoke weed while in italy? Also is it easier to learn to draw with a pencil or with like an ipad? /serious btw 💀🪦 i drew kinda last year and theyre all cute (im 20 btw) but i just was like eh its too late to learn so i stopped 💀 but i think thats a stupid thought at any age. So im gonna draw again now :3 any tips on like how to motivate urself with drawing? I might make a comic lol. I just also have adhd so its hard and this is long omh. But im a bug fan of ur work, and i would love any advice!

1. yes i did smoke in italy but i never bought it bc i didnt know how so my friends just smoked me up god bless

2. both digital and traditional art have their advantages and disadvantages. its amazing being able to infinitely rework your drawing digitally, and have any colors and textures u want, but it can also be a hinderance, esp when ur still learning, cuz its hard not to get caught up in perfection and editing in digital art. i think a mix of both is best!! the limitations of traditional art are actually v helpful in growing as an artist, having to be intentional and precise and work within the limits of a page etc.

3. as for motivation, i find it best to take things super small! just doodle in your notebook, keep things low pressure. draw what u wanna draw! ive drawn myself and my sona in the same pose with the same pen like 10000 times. bc i like it. and once u are in the flow of drawing its easier to work on more complex pieces. so dont jump right into a huge project or it can be overwhelming. just get into the habit of drawing often by not worrying about it being perfect (this one is huge for me) and just trying something small and fun to get into the groove. and keep ur goals in mind, remember why u want to learn it in the first place :)

[hjeojeo]

Hi, I hope that your day is going well! I don't know if this is something your okay with answering but I'm curious as to how you approach anatomy and how you create defining characteristics when drawing characters, like Texas and orchid?

i was like waiting to find time to draw some demonstrations or something, but I realized I’m gonna like

forget to reply to this if I wait to have the brain space to organize all that ahaskjdf

so here comes a text wall!!

so for the anatomy, i think like most anything when it comes to A LOT OF INFORMATION i go with macro to micro. big to small. so some exercises i still do is draw people silhouettes, but small! but practicing with like general like bathroom symbol people/stickman to like realistic silhouettes but simplified i think it helps like make a box in my head to hold the information of ANATOMY

and then when im just drawing i like to think in larger chunks like if you think about how 3D-modeling/sculpting goes where there’s like big blocks to represent the torso and pelvis low poly to high poly

anatomy’s just really hard cause it’s like different proportions, how each element moves and then sits when you adjust.

but trying to find a mental like organization to place all that information usually helps me! and ofc patience with myself cause it takes a long time for that information to really settle down

and for the creating defining characteristcs.

i think it’s about relativity. like just like colors where

a color isn’t just inherently VIBRANT, it’s more about the colors surrounding that specific color. if the surrouding colors are more muted and the specific color is less muted, then it will look vibrant.

so same way

gotta start off with what feels like

a generic base for you. what’s your go-to  person you’ll draw that you think is an average look

and then you from there and make decisions on like

maybe 2x the size for the waist

or maybe 50% longer for the nose.

and then i guess last thing to realize that

bc it’s all about relativity. a character might only look very distinct when they stand next to another character who has contrasting features.

for example i have no idea if anyone but me knows this but i draw texas with a longer chin than i’d draw another character. (oh my god that reminds me to shorten up exusiai’s chin a bit, cause i did not intend for them to have a longer chin LOL)

OH that also reminds me

EXAGGERATION if you want to get across a point without there needing to be someone else to contrast for comparison.

like how everyone looks at my texas drawings and knows that she got thick eyebrows

cause i exaggerate the thickness.

and i think exaggeration is also relative to a style’s range. like going beyond the range a bit, just to get across a point.

but depending on the style, even a slight adjustment wil be BIG IN YOUR FACE DIFFERENCE. while other styles even a big adjustment might not be noticable cause the entire style is already pretty exaggerated

.__.

im so sorry if this is like overwhelming amount of info or really disjointed information

i just wanna assure anyone reading this that

it feels overwhelming but

if you dont stress about retaining it immediately and just

keep going and observing and being patient with yourself

you’ll eventually like start to notice and grasp the nuances of what you’re portraying.

i feel like it’s difficult cause like i know that for me

i had to go through a long process of learning to stop hating my art enough so that i can just

calmly look at what im doing, and instead of being dsitracted by how much i didnt like it, to start taking it little by little of like

oh what do i want to change.. and why.

and how do i make that change.!