#i just have a really short egg timer bro

[stevebabey]

Yeah but then you won't feel full and how are you gonna get your omega 3s rubaby :( I can't take a final on pancakes, bacon, and hashbrowns I need the brain food‼️ tragic pitting four bad bitches against each other

sanne i read omega and i blacked out i was like oh my GOD what have you SENT ME — sorry that you can’t do that brekkie but i certainly could and i WILL

[sinkix]

~ Haikyuu!! Boys baking with reader - Ft. Ushijima, Tendou, Oikawa, Hinata & Nishinoya ~

YO! SO UHHHH... I’M BACK??? I GUESS?? MAYBE??? After a little break I had this in my drafts for a while and realllyyy wanted to complete it since it’s such a cute concept. Honestly at this point my posting frequencies are so sporadic and random pls forgive me lmao.

@deathcab4daddy​ gave me the inspo to include Ushi and it was so funny coming up with ideas for him, he is no.1 country boi chef 

Dude I’m listening to the Mario Kart soundtrack ‘Coconut Mall’ while I continue writing this someone save me. Like u think I’m joking. UR WRONG.

Ushijima:

The most straightforward yet idiotic baker you will ever come across.

Before you even THINK about performing step 1, he will read the entire fucking leaflet like it’s a Shakesperean monologue.

INGREDIENTS INCLUDED.

LIKE SIS I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW IT CONTAINS  MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE THANK YOU.

I’m surprised he doesn’t count every single particle in the brownie mix.

You bought him a frilly cupcake-printed apron stating ‘best wife’ not expecting him to actually wear it

But since he’s secretly a big softie and treasures anything you buy he wears it proudly.

His stoic and dignified disposition is a comical contrast to the words printed on the front lmao.

Ushi best wifey bro.

The tight fit of the apron is pretty hot since it outlines every ridge of his pecs and tightly toned torso.

Gotta resist groping your mans while stirring the brownie batter.

tbh he’s more likely to grope you, he can’t resist that a$$.

And let’s face it he’s def an ass/thigh kinda guy.

Can and will try to casually initiate some form of unholy activities by lifting you up onto the kitchen counter, goading you to slowly lick the spoon and locking gazes before pulling you in for a deep, open-mouthed kiss to get a taste of the incomplete creation himself.

Ushi’s lips and brownie batter are a knock-out combo js.

Literally has the most serious face when he’s cracking the eggs into the bowl

The amount of concentration is equivalent to that of when he’s performing a serve at match-point.

HAS to set the temperature to the EXACT degree stated on the box

Everything is done by the book if you do one thing out of place he will pull you up on it lol.

“(Y/N) you were supposed to stir it for 5 minutes, not 7.”

When its done you feed him some and he can’t help but smile its so ADORBALE AHHH.

You end up eating most of it since Ushi doesn’t strike me as much of a chocolate/junk food lover.

STILL A VERY FUN BUT F R U S T R A T I N G EXPERIENCE.

Tendou:

The complete opposite of Ushi

Does everything wrong and the unconventional way.

Absolute disaster but doesn’t even sweat it since Tendou basically thrives in chaos and the disorderly.

To him instructions are purely equivocal, will read them for five seconds then toss them away.

Step aside Gordon Ramsey, Chef Tendou is here.

Despite doing everything the unorthodox way it still comes out amazing.

Like??? how???

Will cheekily place a dollop batter on your nose then lick it off fh3jkeffefds

Or if he’s feelin’ a lil freaky, he’ll swipe it off with his long ass finger and make you suck it clean, smirking at your submission as you coat his finger with your saliva.

oop-

Constantly cracking jokes and shitty food puns, pretending to drop the bowl to make you go into preemptive cardiac arrest before you can swat him with the spatula.

While you’re waiting for the timer to ping, Satori being the schemer he is will use this as an opportunity to pull some fuckery and tease you in any way he can.

u better be praying like bodhisattva TanaNoya rn because he is MERCILESS.

Suggestive comments, the brush of his fingers against your thigh, it’ll leave you A C H I N G in frustration by the end of it.

Unholy activities aside, once your baking session is completed you finish it off by feeding PHAT forkfuls of brownie to each other and giggling like dorks when it gets all over your mouth.

The jackass actually got a fingerful and SMEARED it over your cheek and forehead, drawing a little cross and snickering when the crumbs fall onto your nose.

Tendou was smart to draw a cross bc he gonna need jesus with the ATTACK you launch on him after that, which promptly leads to an all out food war in your kitchen that neither of you want to clean up after ward.

Don’t worry though it’s Tendou, he’ll somehow find a way to make such a mundane activity fun.

Nishinoya:

stirs WAY TOO VIOLENTLY

IT’S LIKE AN ELECTRIC WHISK ON OVERDRIVE.

IT WILL SPLATTER OVER THE COUNTER, CUPBOARDS AND EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR WITHIN A 1 MILE RADIUS.

You best believe he will try and eat some of the batter and you have to swat the spoon away from his mouth since he has NO REGARD FOR THE FACT HE COULD GET SALMONELLA.

Plus you know what Noya’s like once he starts eating something the whole thing will be gone in a matter of milliseconds.

He somehow managed to get Baking powder EVERYWHERE and even gave him self a little moustache with it.

The white substance kinda looked like something else but you didn’t really wanna say lmaooo.

could explain why he has so much energy all the time oK ILL STOP-

While you’re putting the mix on the tray he is SO extra and will do fancy lil swirls and over extend his arm like a swan to gracefully spread the batter

until he nearly fucking knocks it over.

During processing time since he is so excitable and impatient you best believe he’s gonna suggest a game of ping pong or something because my guy can well and truly never sit still.

ping pong match with the spatulas, kitchen island and a hard boiled egg.

Pls be careful he will rolling thunder that egg and pimp slap it so hard with the spatula it’ll damn near give you a concussion, not intentionally, but like protect your noggin. Wear a helmet.

For the remaining 5 minutes of baking time y’all just sit like kids in front of the oven and watching it rise like starved hyena’s observing it’s pray before demolishing it into sad particles of cocoa.

And lemme tell u, once the timer pings, that baking tray is free real estate for Noya. Half of your creation will be devoured before you can even put it on a plate and marvel at your handiwork. 

He kicked your ass at spatula ping pong btw I’m sorry sweaty but short kings stay winning.

Oikawa:

Such a dramatic bitch like he got the whole she-bang going on.

Strapped with a pink apron, a whisk at his side and standing proudly with both hands on his hips.He is prepared like a greek gladiator going into battle.

You better believe he gonna make some snarky remarks and tease your method of doing things. 

“Ah-ah-ahhh (Y/N)-chan you’re doing it all wrong, let me show you how a PRO does it.”

Proceeds to drop entire bowl on his foot and yelp like a little girl in pain.

Well and truly embarrassed with himself, you put a band-aid on his toe and he piped down after that.

Shattered big toe and mixing bowl aside, actually a really good baker??

He is a PRO at decorating, y’all decided on cupcakes since its literally his forte to make them look aesthetic and pretty.

You almost don’t wanna eat them from how good they look.

jk almost

You take it in turns breaking bits off and placing pieces into each others mouth with a loud “aaaaaahhh!”

Places a piece in your mouth, leans forward and locks lips with you in a soft, passionate kiss before pulling away and uttering the words “It tastes even better coming from your mouth ;)”

hnnnNNGGGGGGggGg.

You both whine and bicker over who cleans up after.

“You cleaaannnnn!”

“no Toru YOU clean!”

“but I made the cupcakes look pretty :(”

“not as pretty as you <3″

He did the cleaning after that.

Like just stroke his ego with some compliments and he’s whipped with a smug grin on his face for the next 30 minutes.

You decide to save the rest and bring them to his next practise.

Literally on the verge of tears when he sees you beaming and holding the platter of treats, Kiyotani mauls half of them in a matter of seconds to which Oiks gets salty over LMAO.

Hinata:

So excited oh my god he’s so precious please protect him I will CRY-

Has a little sunflower apron on and JBJKNDDDKDW IM SMILING JUST IMAGINING HIM FIDGETING IN EXCITEMENT OVER THE THOUGHT OF BAKING COOKIES.

Yes you decided on cookies bc he goes rabid for some choc chip biccies.

You have to guide him v carefully because of how easily confused and clumsy he is.

Cannot for the life of him crack the eggs without getting a quarter of the shell in the bowl so you have to do it instead.

Has a surprising amount of strength and forearm power bc holy shit boy can stir FAST.

Hums a little tune while he does it and bobs up and down with a wide grin on his face it’s so adorable, he has such a gentle singing voice I can’t-

Attempts different shapes with the batter when pouring it onto the tray but fails pretty miserably lol.

he tried ok???

Once they’re done he takes the tray out of the oven and since it was heavy, subconsciously propped it with his knee and nearly dropped the entire tray from the pain. (I’ve actually done this before when making chicken nuggets I do not advise being that brain dead)

Had to put some burn cream on the bbies knee :’((

When you decided to dig in, he handed you a cookie that looked like a crooked circle and said he tried to make that one a heart and insisted he feed it to you.

Blushed VERY hard at the moment of silence and intense eye contact while he fed it to you.

Nearly short circuited when his fingers brushed against your lips.

Moe moe x100000000000000000000000000000

You offer to do the cleaning after because he hurt himself and you didn’t wanna make him do any work, but he still offered to wipe the surfaces for you bc he’s an angel <333

literally just wanna marry him.

[soysaucevictim]

“more than ever, hour (work is never over)”

Summary: Logan goes for a run, and hits a snag when Roman seems to have found himself in trouble. Again. (This happens about a year before “Cherry Cola”, to be clear. Sanders Sides, Gym Rat AU. One-shot. Ao3 link.)

Genres: Slice of Life, Fluff, Light Angst, Sickfic(?)

Characters: Logan and Roman centric. Janus, Patton, and Remus mentioned.

Relationships: Logince (platonic), Background Intrulogical (platonic/ambiguous), Background Roceit (sexual/QPP*), Background Loceit (platonic)

Warnings: Lots of numbers, Himbro Roman, Roman Is A Disaster, illness, over-training, sleep deprivation, heat exhaustion, (not as bad as what happened in “Cherry Cola”), vomiting (mentioned), Logan Is A Good Friend

-

Logan was running his typical checklists before setting out for another HIIT routine over at the gym. He highly valued maintaining his cardiac and overall health. He wasn’t in the medical field like Janus is and Patton used to be, but he didn’t need those credentials to appreciate it.

Considering he was a 28 year old Homo sapien, his maximal heart rate would be 192 beats per minute. Obviously, he wasn’t keen on achieving nor surpassing exactly that red zone. To say there were diminishing returns, would be an understatement. Remus would take the notion as a challenge… to be sure.

But that value was necessary to calculate his initial target – 65% of that, to be relatively precise. 125, rounded up. He intended to reach that after some warm-up routine and the first lap or two. He would consider this the yellow zone.

Once that holds reasonably steady, his next goal was to go for 87% at the highest intensity. So, 167 BPM. Holding that line for at least a minute. 2 minutes, if he was feeling particularly bold, he was in pretty good shape at this juncture. This would be more of an orange zone.

After the spike in intensity, he would go down to 50% for recovery, or 96 BPM. Rest at that load for 3 minutes, in the proverbial green zone. And then crank the figurative gears back up to the 87% target.

He intended to repeat this for at least 10 rounds. Add more, if energy is willing. Sounded like a plan.

To hit these marks, one of the simpler ways Logan enjoyed were via the exercise bikes. But today, he thought he’ll do some laps around the indoor track. He felt he needed to work in some more devoted arm action, and that would be a reasonable way to hit this workout paradigm. This outline seemed elegant and flawless.

He reviewed all of that while he swapped out his casual shoes for runners, in the locker room.

-

It was exactly noon when he approached the starting line. He popped in some earbuds to his prepared playlists.

He was listening to the mix named “Warm-Up Playlist”. He knew his fellows would jab him for the plainness of it, but the utility simply couldn’t be argued with. It was a selection of songs that started at 50, incrementing up to 100 BPM in tempo. It helped him keep his pace.

He stood to the side, spending a couple minutes doing some preliminary exercises. Ankle circles, leg swings, pelvic loops, arm circles, and hula-hoop jumps. It’s important to keep all the relevant joints stable and readied. Janus would probably congratulate his refreshing fastidiousness, among their motley crew.

After that micro-checklist was completed, he started going toward a brisk walking pace. He was going to check his heart rate after a couple laps to see how close to 65% he was getting.

Halfway into his first lap, he was nearly knocked over by a blur wearing a red crop-top sweatshirt and matching shorts. Roman, clearly not paying attention to what he was doing. Predictably. Logan snorted and rolled his eyes. He had to table his thoughts about his friend’s whole methodology (or lack thereof, as far as he was concerned), or else he’d fall too far out of rhythm!

Roughly a quarter of the way into the second lap, Roman closed in on Logan again, he was going at a jogging pace to a slightly faster walk to match up with Logan. Roman waved and smiled at Logan, “Hey! Didn’t expect to see ya here, Specs!”

Logan thought the voice was Roman-typically cheery. Frankly Logan would be mystified about this man’s energy, if he hadn’t met Remus first. “Salutations.”

“Why are you going so slooow? Wanna race me? I bet I can totally run circles around you!”

“No. I have a plan I intend to stick to, Roman. You know this.”

Roman melodramatically threw up his arms and pouted at Logan, somewhat impressively coordinated to his slow jogging. “Fiiine. I’m off – I want to see how many laps I can get in, like... the next hour. Adiós, for now~”

Roman went from a jog to a run before he could get a response. Logan tutted before refocusing on getting to that 65% - that yellow zone. After the second lap, he drank some water and checked his pulse… hmmm, 55%. It was time to hit a jog. He skipped a few tracks toward that range and worked to match.

By the time Logan completed lap 3, he reached and held at 65%. So, he turned on a 1-minute interval timer and his “HIIT Playlist”, on his phone. Much of the music went at 120 BPM, give or take 30. This phase, he was going to rely on his fitness bracelet to tell him where he’s at, not enough time to do things digitally… rather, manually or with his fingers, to clarify.

He and Remus programmed this thing to flash his percentage progress, freeing up some mental space to not need to calculate that value repeatedly, whenever he looked at the monitor.

He picked up to a run for about another quarter-lap and broke into a full-tilt sprint. Every 20 or so seconds, he glanced at the bracelet, while keeping the majority of his attention to his surroundings and form.

20 seconds, 73%. Not good enough.

40 seconds, 84%. Logan grimaced and pushed his cadence up a bit more.

50 seconds, 86%. For the love of Archimedes… it’s okay. It’s close.

BEEP! 60 seconds, 88%. Orange. FINALLY. Okay, he thought he had a good read now, being consistent for the next sets should be easier.

-

Time to, figuratively, dial things way down. He spent approximately 20 seconds running, 40 more jogging, and BEEP.

He took a couple sips from his water bottle, before spending the remaining 2 minutes going at a walk.

1 minute, 30 seconds, 78%.

BEEP. 2 minutes, 71%.

2 minutes, 30 seconds, 60%.

2 minutes, 50 seconds, 53%.

BEEP. 3 minutes, 49%. Green. Logan sighed to himself, “Margin of error, you have to account for it… anyways.”

-

Round 2.

20 seconds, 76%. Better.

40 seconds, 85%. Almost there.

50 seconds, 87%. Orange, again. Locked on, Logan smiled. Now hold this for 10 more seconds…

BEEP!

-

Second active rest cycle.

Once he got down to a walk again, he observed that Roman was on the opposite end of the track. Still going at what he could only describe as an absurd pace.

Roman closed in when Logan was 2 minutes into this interval. 69%, by the way. Logan groaned, some of Remus’s sense of humor “rubbing off on him”. Why must people ascribe such crudeness to an arbitrary number, he wondered.

Roman was panting quite loudly, shouting down Logan, “Nerd- Nerd’s got some SPEED!”

Logan took a swig of his water bottle. “This is not the first time you’ve seen me manage this.”

Roman looked like he just realized he should have followed suit, smacking his lips and drinking several gulps from his own water supply. “R-riiight.”

“You really should pace yourself. On everything. Honestly.”

“HEY. Only Snakey McSnakerson gets to tell me that!”

“Is he here right now? Am I wrong?”

Roman was back to pouting, “I’m not going to dignify that with a response.”

“But you just-”

Roman cupped his hands over his ears, “Lalala – I can’t hear you!”

Roman ran off ahead of him again. Logan could only shake his head.

2 minutes 55 seconds, 51%.

BEEP. 50%. Green.

-

Round 3.

30 seconds, 80%. Not bad if he said so himself.

40 seconds, 84%. Margin of error.

50 seconds, 89%. Overcompensated somewhat, it would seem. Perhaps Roman’s competitive streak was “infectious”, today.

BEEP! 60 seconds, 91%. Orange, approaching red. Yeah, he was definitely overcompensating.

-

Third rest, fourth active, fourth rest, fifth active intervals... hitting his marks, pleasingly and without incident.

He was on his fifth rest, soon enough.

Once Logan was walking again, he thought he was up for extending his active intervals to 2’, for the next 5 sets. Things have been building palpable fatigue, but very manageable.

Roman still appeared to holding up, a short distance ahead of Logan, at this point. Perhaps he was slowing down. It was a few moments before the distance was closed again.

Roman was drenched, so Logan decided to ask him, “Are you quite alright?”

“Might be getting a little tired now, no big deal.”

Logan recalled some things Patton instructed all of them about and he looked at Roman more carefully as they walked slowly. Roman looked paler than usual. “Hmmm, is your head hurting, perhaps?”

“Maybe a little. Didn’t get enough sleep again, it’s probably that.”

“I imagine it couldn’t be helping but-”

Roman got a little agitated, “But what, Egg Head?”

“Are you nauseous?”

“I’m not ready to puke, not just yet, Bro Ham.”

“May I check your pulse? Or rather, how does it feel?”

“What are you getting at!?”

“Cramps? Dizziness?… I think you are exhibiting the signs of heat exhaustion.”

Roman looked like he was going to be short with Logan, but it was clear now that he was starting to get somewhat wobbly. Logan decided to prompt him again, “Here, let us go to the showers, you need to cool off.”

Roman knew he couldn’t fight Logan in his current state, “Fiiine.”

Logan was annoyed about cutting his workout short, but he could always resume later. This was more important, anyways.

-

Roman was lying on his back on one of the benches in the locker room. His outfit then saturated with cool shower water, holding a battery-power fan to himself that Logan let him borrow.

Logan was at his feet, “How are your symptoms now?”

Roman groaned, “You’re not “the doctor” in our group, would you please stop acting like it.”

“I do not wish to see you in the hospital, Roman.”

Roman sputtered a little, “Yeah well, I’m fine.”

“Stable, I suppose, yes. But I know you enough to know you are not “fine”.”

Roman almost shot up to rebut, but a wave of dizziness forced him back down. “Look. I just didn’t get enough sleep – mind was running a bajillion miles an hour last night. So many IDEAS to write down. And couldn’t get to sleep until way after… you know what? Nevermind.”

Logan did care and frankly saw a lot of similar tendencies between the two brothers. It disturbed him and made him wish he was able to help them get a better handle on their sleeping and general health habits. It seemed as though they were both at very high risk of something serious occurring. But at the same time, he recognized that this was not his area of expertise. All he could really do was try to be there for them.

“Speaking of which... I think I see my wall… approaching… going to-”

Before Logan could latch onto any inquiries about walls, Roman dropped the fan and started snoring. After a brief moment of worry, Logan was reasonably sure this was simply a nap, not a loss of consciousness. To his relief.

Logan thought idly, “I suppose I should at least inform Janus what occurred. Roman might not be fit to drive for a while longer.”

Logan tapped out a message, “Hey. I’m in the locker room with Roman. He likely had an episode of heat exhaustion, today. He appears to be doing okay right now. But I felt that it was worth mentioning it to you.”

It was not even 2 minutes before Janus responded with, “WHAT!?”

“He’s safe, just taking a nap. I suppose he wouldn’t mind if you took him home.”

“… omw. That dumb ass has some explaining to do. With love, of course.”

“Indeed, I shall see you shortly then?”

“Yeah, ttyl… thanks, btw.”

Logan supposed he should stick around to make sure Roman was safe before resuming his own agenda. He had to admit, like with Remus, he did enjoy seeing them get some greatly needed rest.

[exhaustedfander]

NFWMB: Part Three

Final chapter, here we go! I’d love to hear what you think! 

Word Count: 2,711

Previous chapter

a03 link

Logan blinks awake, a jolt of shock running down his spine as he bolts to a sitting position, realizing he’s no longer in his room, carefully surveying Remus. He’s on the couch in the Commons, a blanket draped over him and pillow having been placed under his head, a position he can’t for the life of him remember getting into.

Amidst the initial surprise, Logan is aware of one crucial thing: the state of Remus’s well-being. He scrambled to shove the blanket off of himself and rise from the couch, only to find himself trapped by Patton suddenly standing in front of him; when had he gotten here?

“Whoa, hey, calm down for a sec, kiddo,” Patton cautions, “I was just making you some breakfast. It’s just about ready.” Logan hadn’t even smelt the distinctive bacon and eggs in the air, somehow, nor had he heard Patton bustling about in the kitchen.

“How – how did I get here? I don’t remember laying down,” he asks, followed by the far more pressing issue, “Is Remus alright? Is he safe? Is he awake?”

“Remus is gonna be just fine,” Patton says, knowing damn well Logan needed that question answered straight away, “As for how you got here, Roman put you here. You fell asleep a little while after you guys talked, and he stayed with Remus. He said you hadn’t gotten rest in god knows how long; you really needed the sleep, Logan.”

“I – I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Logan says, struggling to remember it.

He recalls watching over Remus and the conversation with Roman that had ensued. He remembers the things he admitted, deeply personal, and steeped in so much emotion. He cried into Roman’s shoulder, for God’s sake, something he never imaged himself doing and is fairly mortifying to recount. And after that… well, that must’ve been when he lost his battle with consciousness and Roman settled him on the couch.

He hadn’t intended to take his eyes off of Remus, at least not for more than a moment or two, and yet he’d done so. Logan can’t help but feel ashamed; it was his job to watch over Remus, at least as far as he was concerned. Despite the growing irritation directed at himself, Logan turns back to Patton, feeling his heart beginning to pound a lot like it had last night.

“Is he awake?” Logan repeats. Patton nods.

“He is.”

“Can I see him?”

“In just a moment or two,” Patton replies softly, but his kind tone of voice can’t stop Logan’s mind from delving into troubling thoughts.

“Why not now?” Logan asks, cursing the desperation that comes through. Patton sighs, though the sound is far more sympathetic than upset, and even if he is upset, it certainly isn’t directed that Logan.

“He and Roman are talking now,” Patton explains, pausing when he hears a timer go off, “And your breakfast is ready. Wait right there and I’ll fix you a plate, okay?” A flicker of surprise runs a course down his spine. Remus and Roman talking? Arguing, sure. Declaring war on one another, understandably, if not expected. But the way Patton phrased it, that doesn’t seem to be the case at all.

“They’re… talking?” Logan asks, getting up and following Patton into the kitchen, who’s currently scoping an egg and a few strips of bacon onto a plate for Logan, as well as some for himself. Virgil and Janus must still be asleep, otherwise, he’d be making them a plate too.

“Sure they are,” Patton replies as though the sentence isn’t at least somewhat alarming, “Here you go, kiddo,” he says kindly, handing Logan his plate.

“Thank you,” Logan replies, setting his food down and taking a seat, watching Patton carefully as he does the same.

“So, they’re speaking? I know Roman said some very interesting things about the state of their relationship but…” Logan trails off, deciding taking a bite of food might account for his silence.

“People have a funny way of surprising you,” Patton responds after a moment once both of their plates. “Lord knows those two have had their differences for quite a long time… and I know I’m not entirely irresponsible for that. I’ve always done what I thought was right, for Thomas, for all of us…” Patton sighs, a soft look in his eyes, “But the fact of the matter is this: I don’t always know what’s right, no matter what I’ve led myself to believe. But, I’m willing to own up to my mistakes.

“I want to change, for the better of myself, and all of us. My views on what’s right and what’s wrong… well, it was a tad bit too strict, to put it lightly, and I think in many ways, Roman latched onto that. I’m sorry, for how strict I’ve been on all of you. And goodness, I’m sorry to you, Logan. We don’t always pay your advice enough attention, and that just isn’t right. I promise this ’ll be a bigger conversation between everyone involved when the time is better suited for it, but really, I’m sorry. I promise I’m gonna try and do better, for all of us.”

“Well… thank you, Patton. I – I appreciate that greatly,” Logan stutters, reeling for a moment. Having received a similar apology of Roman just last night, it’s jarring to hear it from Patton. Hearing him talk about the twin’s fractured relationship, as well as the part he may have played in that is something that surprises him, too.

“Of course,” Patton says, “As for the twins, I think they’re gonna be okay. Maybe not right away, but last night changed things. As horrible as the situation is, I really do think it’s changed both of them for the better.” Logan fails to respond for a moment, lost in thought of all that happened last night. The fear that seems to encapsulate him, even now. The anxiety and doubt, the revelation that has made itself known. It’s quite a lot to handle.

“I hear you did a real good job, protecting him,” Patton says and Logan blinks in surprise. He can’t help but scoff.

“Hardly. Roman’s the one who patched him up. I was… I was quite a mess, all of last night. I still probably am,” Logan says, biting his lip, “All I did was –.”

“Chase a giant monster away?” Patton supplies. Logan struggles to know how to respond. “Roman told me. Sounds like you’re a regular hero, as far as I’m concerned. I’m sure Remus feels just the same.” Logan can feel heat creep up his neck, and with his luck, the flush is probably visible.

“I… I’m not so certain about that.”

“I think you’re cutting yourself a little short, teach,” Patton says, and just by the look in his eyes, Logan can tell that he knows. He doesn’t believe that Roman’s told him, as much of a blabbermouth as he can be, meaning Patton’s come to that conclusion on his own. Meaning he’s that obvious.

“I think you can go and see him now, Lo,” Patton says, and relief blooms in Logan’s chest, “He and Roman have had a good chunk of time together. I’m sure Remus is eager to see you.” Logan can’t help but disagree, knowing that he’s the one who’s desperate to see Remus, but he doesn’t correct the moral side. Instead, he rises to his feet, walking unsteadily through the hallway and pausing at his bedroom door.

He can hear the sound of voices talking on the other side, and to Logan’s relief, they don’t sound angry or heated. Patton’s right… they just seem to be talking, that’s it. Logan almost feels bad, interrupting the new-found peace that’s fallen over the brothers, but he doesn’t know how much longer he can last without seeing Remus and knowing, with the utmost certainty, that he’s going to be alright.

He cracks the door open slowly, the chatter pausing as he steps into the doorway. Roman is sat in a chair across from the bed, and Remus is reclining against several pillows, alive.

“Remus,” Logan begins, though he doesn’t quite know where he’s going, his mouth running unbearably dry. Roman, in some beautiful act of mercy, stands up.

“We’ll talk more later,” he says to Remus, before adding, quietly, “Love you, bro.” Logan can hardly believe what he’s seeing.

“Yeah, love you too. See ya later, shithead,” Remus says as Roman walks away, but there’s an awed tint to his voice that’s impossible to ignore. Roman gives Logan a quick, careful look as they pass each other in the doorway, but in general, the expression seems to say that everything’s going to be okay, and Logan can certainly hope so.

The logical side walks slowly to Remus’s bedside sitting in the chair now abandoned by Roman.

“Hey, Nerdy Wolverine,” Remus says, and Logan’s thankful for it because he still hardly knows what to say, too caught up in the fact that Remus is here and that he’s breathing.

Remus is still a touch paler than he usually is, his hair matted and unkempt. There’s significant bruising to parts of his arms as well as his face, and surely there are more hidden bellow the blankets and layers of clothing. It’s strange, seeing Remus dressed in a plain green T-Shirt, rather than his usually elaborate costume. It’s even stranger to look at him, teeming with life. Logan doesn’t know if he’s ever been so grateful in all his life for something.

“Hello,” Logan manages to get out, but that’s about it before he can feel himself faltering as Remus reaches out weakly, in search of Logan’s hand. It’s clear he’s in a great deal of pain, despite the pain medication he’s on, and Logan can barely stand to think about that as he shies away from Remus’s touch.

“Hey, I want you to hold my hand,” Remus insists, and Logan doesn’t know how to argue with that. He scoots the chair closer, lacing their fingers together.

“How’re you feeling?” Logan asks, cursing himself for not thinking to ask it sooner.

“Like shit,” Remus says, and the answer isn’t surprising, “But hey, I’m still here, right?”

“You are,” Logan says softly, his eyes trained on Remus callused fingers grasping his own, “I – I’m so thankful that you are.”

“I probably wouldn’t be here, if it wasn’t for you,” Remus says. Logan shakes his head.

“I don’t know –.”

“No, really,” Remus cuts in, “Thank you. You fucking saved me, Lo. I’d be… who the hell know where I’d be, but it sure wouldn’t be here with you.” Logan worries his bottom lip.

“Roman’s the one who saved you,” he says, his teeth clenched, “Not me. He’s the one who did so much for you, h-he stitched you. I was practically useless.”

“I wouldn’t call fighting a monster off useless,” Remus says, “You saved me, just as much as my brother did. You rescued me, Logan. Let me thank you for doing that.” Logan doesn’t know what to say, so Remus keeps talking. “Roman, uh, killed it, by the way. Earlier today.” Logan blinks in disbelief. “When in the world did, he have the time?”

“I dunno,” Remus says, “But he says he lured it to the river of blood and drown it.” Remus’s lips curl u into a faint smile, but Logan struggles to return to sentiment. What if Roman had gotten hurt, too? What if something had happened? What if –

“I’m gonna have a pretty gnarly scar, too, so that’s pretty cool. I think –,” Remus pauses, his grip on Logan’s hand tightening, “Whoa, hey, why are you crying?” Logan sniffles, cursing the weak state this love has reduced him to. He used to think of himself as so void of emotion, so cold, but he isn’t that at all. He’s a mess of feelings he can hardly account for and it’s all so much to bear.

“I almost lost you, Remus,” Logan says wetly, squeezing his eyes shut, “I… I don’t know what I would do with myself if that happened.”

“Aw, be careful there, Lo. You’re almost making it seem like you care about me.” Logan bites his bottom lip, peeling his eyes open to look at Remus.

“I do,” he professes, teary eyes burning with sincerity, “I – I care about you immensely. M-more than I know how to express.” Remus’s expression softens at that.

“I care about you too,” he says, before adding, “You know, I always figured I’d end up in your bed one of these days, but the circumstances aren’t really what I’d imagined.” Evidently, Remus was hoping that would elicit a laugh from Logan. It doesn’t.

“You’re so damn reckless,” Logan grits out, trying to get his crying under control, “Think- think of what could’ve happened. I don’t – I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you. I was so scared, Remus… I’m not used to being scared.” The last sentence comes out in just a whisper, but Remus hears him just fine.

“I’m right here,” Remus says, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you, Lo.”

“You’ve – you’ve got to be more careful,” Logan says, “Both of you. I don’t know who’s more careless, you or Roman.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus says quietly, “For worrying you. Jesus, I’m sorry for putting you in as much danger as I did. I swear, I never would’ve done that had I known. We might’ve both been goners if you weren’t such a fucking badass.” Logan scoffs, feeling a blush dust his cheeks.

“I am not a badass.”

“Yes, you fucking are!” Remus insists, “Are you kidding me?! You protected me. You took a damn good couple swings at that thing. I’ve got to see you like that again sometime, in a less life-threatening-situation. Lord knows you’re hot as shit when you’re pissed like that.” Logan lets go of the creative side’s hand, feeling himself begin to tremble.

“R-Remus…” he trails off, feeling the words crumble like dust in his mouth. Luckily, Remus isn’t accepting defeat that easy.

“Roman told me how you watched over me. How you were so protective of me. I hope you know how fucking sweet that is.”

“I… I couldn’t leave you,” Logan says simply, “It wouldn’t have been right.”

“Like hell, you couldn’t. You stayed because you wanted to.” Logan sighs, the expression on Remus’s face unbearably lovestruck.

“Yes.”

“I’ve been crazy about you for a while now, you know,” Remus admits, ever-one to speak his mind, “You’re amazing, Logan. In every way. You’re smart as shit, and sexy, and just so much fun to be around, and –.” Remus is swiftly interrupted as Logan presses their lips together, his hand resting cautiously on Remus’s cheek. The kiss is by no means as passionate or intense as they’re both feeling at the moment, but considering Remus’s condition, they’re making do.

“I love you,” Logan breaths out as they briefly part, “I - I love you, so greatly, Remus. I wasn’t sure if it was true, o-or if I was ever going to have the chance to tell you, but I do.”

“I love you too, nerd,” Remus says, his voice brimming with just as much emotion as he leans in to kiss the logical side again.

“Promise me,” Logan exhales against Remus’s parted lips, “Promise me you’ll be more careful.”

“Lo, baby, you know I can’t –.”

“Promise that you’ll try,” Logan cuts in, doing his best to ignore the response Remus calling him ‘baby’ elicits.

“For you?” Remus asks a smile etched into his face, “For you, yeah, okay. I can try. I can do that.”

Their lips meet once more, and relief washes over them in slow, even waves. Logan allows himself to drown in the calm, to pour over the feeling of peace that’s overtaken him. Remus is here, he’s alive, and he loves him. Remus and Roman’s relationship seems to be on the mend, Patton said that they’d try and be more mindful of Logan’s contributions, Remus loves him.

Slowly, the doubt and terror that had settled over him disperses, and he gives in to the hope that’s suddenly surrounded him. He gives in to Remus and all that he is. He gives in to love.

 =+=

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Lazy Philadelphia Reviews: Serpico

Hello. This is a Lazy Philadelphia Review of Serpico. I ate dinner there the other night.

Serpico is a restaurant. You might think that it is an Italian restaurant. That is because I thought it was an Italian restaurant but it is not an Italian restaurant.

Okay I was really excited for Serpico but mostly that is because, like I mentioned, I thought that it is an Italian restaurant and that is probably my favorite kind of food besides beer. But it is a Korean small plates French inspired “inspired” small plates cuisine destination kind of thing. And usually small plates don’t cost $38 dollars each and yet here we are folks.

Also Serpico sounds like Scorpio which is the name of the killer in Dirty Harry and that movie kicks awesome in the ass and whistles in its ears.

Ok so I went to Serpico with 3 (three) other people which is weird for me because I do not have any friends. So the first thing the waiter says is “have you dined with us before” and I always lie and say yes because I don’t like the wait staff ever thinking I am some punkass first timer bro I aint no punk bitch. But he could tell that I was already confused by the menu, probably because I was holding it upside down and saying “Interesting!” a lot.

OK so the waiter suggests that each person order 5 plates (of food) each and after looking at the prices for awhile and doing some quick math in my head, I decided to take out a reverse mortgage on the house my father built that he still lives in to be able to eat there.

I let all the other people I was with do the ordering. That is because every item on the menu sounds super gross.

(before I continue let me just say that this was one of the best meals that I have ever had in my life. But this is not sincere and insightful reviews. This is lazy reviews. Let’s get back to talking shit.)

Ok so yea everything sounds fucking weird and gross. Like the dude was like “the special tonight is a 5 minute egg, which is a rotten old egg that we hard boil and it turns brown then we leave it on the counter over night then throw 15 different kinds of mushrooms on it and it looks ridiculous and you’re going to love it. That’s for 47 dollars.”

So obviously we got that.

We also got something called egg custard and chicken and snail lasagna which features both chicken and…you guessed it…snails. Like I am serious that everything has at least one fucked up confusing element to it but by the time we ordered I already had like 4 whiskey drinks and I would have eaten cat food at that point and I am not positive that I didn’t and I probably loved it.

Other things I got that I don’t understand: ceviche, some sort of meat tataki, (all of those things are raw) and like, salmon, then short ribs, then like…some egg thing seriously man I don’t really know it all happened really fast and I generally prefer food that is, you know, cooked, so like I just kept my mouth shut except to put food in there.

OK so finally the dude comes around again and he is like “would you like to look at the dessert menu” and I was just like just bring all the desserts nothing you say makes sense anyways. So he brought them all OH this was the best part! Then they brought us these four little “digestif” after dinner licorice liquoure drinks with a little lemon slice in it and I was like THANKS and I hammered that thing down like it was a shot of Jagermeister, which apparently I was not supposed to do because everyone in the entire establishment started pointing and laughing at me like that scene at the end of Carrie where she is prom queen and she gets blood poured on her and everyone laughs and points it was awesome lol.

Then they brought out the bill and that was very depressing!

Okay so all in all, it seems like Italian but it is not. Also everything sounds gross but it is all actually really good!

Serpico! I hope you’re rich! Don’t tell my dad I sold his house!

This has been Lazy Philadelphia Reviews: Serpico by Elliot.