#i just randomly remembered this was saved in my drafts earlier today

[starlyte-writes]

It’s that time again! Star info dumps about her D&D stuff despite nobody asking for it! This time I’m giving one section from each song on the playlist I made for my main character Nova that I think best shows why I picked that song for her.

Right, LET’S GO!

1) I’m Sorry by Swell:

So, bad first example, there’s only one line in this entire song, but mostly focus on the title and the vibe

2) Cut My Hair by Mounika and Cavetown:

Are you, you tired of me yet?

3) Saw Her Standing by Ballyhoo!

Left me standing here / Eyes welled up with tears / Drowning me alive in all my fears

4) Happy Pills by Weathers

I’m happy all the time / I’m happy all the time / I love my girl but she ain’t worth the price / She ain’t worth the price / No, she ain’t worth the price

5) Saint Bernard by Lincoln

You always said how you love dogs / I don’t know if I count, but I’m trying my best / When I’m howling and barking these songs

6) Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots

My name’s Blurryface and I care what you think / My name’s Blurryface and I care what you think

7) Don’t You Give Up by Dansu

I don’t need no problems, oh, I just want sunny sky / I cannot live without you by my side / Don’t give up, don’t you give up on me / Don’t give up, don’t you give up on me

8) Your Sister Was Right by Wilbur Soot

Every time that I miss you / I feel the way you hurt / And I don’t deserve you / You deserve the world

9) Saline Solution by Wilbur Soot

If I could just break one more night / Maybe I could wake up and feel alright

10) Since I Saw Vienna by Wilbur Soot

The roads are my home, horizon’s my target / If I keep on moving, never lose sight of it / Treating my memory of you like a fire / Let it burn out, don’t fight it, and try to move on

11) Losing Face by Wilbur Soot

Well, I don’t know what I’m to do / Yes, I don’t know what I’ll fuckin’ do / I’ve lost all meaning / I’ve lost my sense of hope

or

I don’t care, I want you here / As long as you’re happy, I don’t care

12) I’m Sorry Boris by Wilbur Soot

I can’t believe that I’m leaving / I don’t think I want to leave you / I don’t think I want to leave you here alone

13) Disappear by Candlebard

Carries the world on his back, standing tall / Fearing one day, he’ll drop them all / Oh, he burns from the inside / When he sees himself sink

or

My memories are melting to foam (Disappear) / Watch me ruin another place I called home (Disappear) / On your face, the light dies (Ah) / As you gaze up in fear / And I watch it all / Disappear

14) Cause for Concern by Lovejoy

You could eat the foam from the headrest (I said there’s no cause for-) / You could knock the wind out of my breath (I said there’s no cause for-) / And you could kick the teeth into my head / Still, there’s no cause for concern

15) People I Don’t Like by UPSAHL

Hello, it’s so good to see you / We met before but nice to meet you / Yeah, I don’t really wanna be here like, ah-ah-ah-ah

16) Smile by Ukuletea

You don’t need to cry / Or show me sympathy / Don’t waste your time on me / I’m used to being alone / So step away from me

17) I DONT TRUST U ANYMORE by Left at London

I remember the days when / Your retched image didn’t make me sick / And I wish it could still be like that / But / I don’t trust you anymore / I don’t trust you anymore / I don’t trust you anymore / I don’t trust you anymore / I don’t trust you anymore / I don’t trust you anymore / You won’t trust us anyway

18) & by Tally Hall

Weak & Strong & / Wet & Dry & / Right & Wrong & / Live & Die & / Sane & Gone & / Love & Not & / All the &s that we forgot

19) Seventeen by Peach Pit

There’s something dark hangin’ over my head / I’m seventeen, don’t hold your breath

20) All Eyes On Me by Bo Burnham

Hey, come on, get your fuckin’ hands up / Get on out of your seats / All eyes on me, all eyes on me, yeah / Heads down, pray for me / Heads down now, pray for me

21) That Funny Feeling by Bo Burnham

Total disassociation, fully out your mind / Googling derealization, hating what you find / That unapparent summer air in early fall / The quiet comprehending of the ending of it all

22) Redesign Your Logo (Bonus Track) by Lemon Demon

Redesign your logo, we know what we’re doing / We are here to help you, everything’s connected / Time is of the essence, we live in the future / Color makes us hungry, everything’s connected

23) Mrs Narcissistic by The Royston Club

Why do I risk it all for you / For you / You talk with such venom in your words / Always fighting to be heard / With blatant disregard for what we fought for

24) overwhelmed by Royal & the Serpent

Feels like I’m somebody else / I get overwhelmed / All of these faces who don’t know what space is / And crowds are shut down, I’m over-stimulated / Nobody gets it, say I’m too sensitive / I can’t listen cause I’m eyeing the exits

25) It’s Raining Somewhere Else by Toby Fox

No lyrics in this song but again the ~vibes~

26) Don’t Forget by Toby Fox

That’s still shining in the cold / With the truth / The promise in our hearts / Don’t forget / I’m with you in the dark

(basically the whole song but these lines especially)

27) Don’t Look Back In Anger - Remastered by Oasis

Where nobody knows / If it’s night or day / But please don’t put your life in the hands / Of a rock and roll band / Who’ll throw it all away

28) You’ll Understand When You’re Older by Lovejoy

If I’m goin’ down you’re coming with me / And you think that it gets better / Just you wait until next week / You’re keeping a dark secret / But you’re talking in your sleep

29) Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott

Here’s the thing, I can’t do anything right / Try as I absolutely, totally might 

or

And I’m not your protagonist / I’m not even my own / I don’t know anything / I don’t even know what I don’t know

30) Karma by AJR

Cause I’ve been so good, I’ve been working my ass off / I’ve been so good, still, I’m lonely and stressed out / I’ve been so good, I’ve been so good this year / And I’ve been so good, but it’s still getting harder / I’ve been so good, where the hell is the karma? / I’ve been so good, I’ve been so good this year

31) Era by Halfy & Winks

An era, life is calling but we stay / An era, time is ticking as it may / An era, oh, I hope and wish and pray / This era will never fade away

32) Camp Adventure by Delta Sleep

How’s one meant to grow / When walls keep caving in / The ceiling above us / Has denied its existence in / Of all the times we tried / I’ve still be up all night / Writing songs of you

33) A Burning Hill by Mitski

I’m tired of wanting more / I think I’m finally worn / For you have a way of promising things / And I’ve been a forest fire / I am a forest fire / And I am the fire and I am the forest / And I am a witness watching it

34) I Can’t Handle Change by R.O.A.R.

I can’t help but repeat myself / I know it’s not your fault / Still lately, I begin to shake / For no reason at all

35) Birds (ft. Terrence Williams Jr.) by Thomas Sanders

I wanna watch from somewhere undisturbing / Quiet, calm, still / Sit right here and gaze at the unknown / I don’t wanna fly in the sky, I just wanna be alone / It’s not a big deal or anything / I just wanna be alone

36) Home (Music Box) by Toby Fox

Again, vibes, but also the title is important

37) Anchor by Mindy Gledhill

There are those who think that I’m strange / They would box me up and tell me to change / But you hold me close and softly say / That you wouldn’t have me any other way

38) On the Borderline by Thomas Sanders

I’m standing on the borderline / What should I bring or leave behind / From who I was / For who I’m gonna be?

39) That Distant Shore (ft. Jennifer Paz) by Steven Universe

I thought I’d stay a while / I tried to learn to smile / So many colors I had never even known / Maybe I’ll find myself sitting on that distant shore / Maybe I’m not alone

40) How Does A Moment Last Forever (Music Box) by Kevin Kline

How does a moment last forever? / How can a story never die? / It is love we must hold onto / Never easy, but we try

41) feelings are fatal by mxmtoon

I’m happy for you, I’m smiling for you / I’d do anything for you, for you / It’s always for you and never for me / And I need it to stop, so let me tell you, please / I’m always sad and I’m always lonely / But I can’t tell you that I’m breaking slowly

42) I’m Just Your Problem (ft. Olivia Olson) by Adventure Time

It’s like I’m not even a person, am I? / I’m just your problem, well / I shouldn’t have to justify what I do / I shouldn’t have to prove anything to you / I’m sorry that I exist / I forget what landed me on your blacklist, but / I shouldn’t have to be the one that makes up with you, so

43) Show & Tell by Melanie Martinez

Why is it so hard to see? (Why?) / If I cut myself, I would bleed (kill me) / I’m just like you, you’re like me / Imperfect and human, are we?

or

Buy and sell (buy and sell) / Like I’m a product to society / Art don’t sell / Unless you fucked every authority / Show and tell / Why can’t you fucking hear me?

44) Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish

I don’t relate to you / I don’t relate to you, no / Cause I’d never treat me this shitty / You made me hate this city

45) Lost Cause by Billie Eilish

Something’s in the air right now / Like I’m losing track of time / Like I don’t really care right now, but maybe that’s fine / You weren’t even there that day / I was waitin’ on you

46) xanny by Billie Eilish

What is it about them? / I must be missing something / They just keep doing nothing / Too intoxicated to be scared / Better off without them / They’re nothing but unstable / Bring ashtrays to the table / And that’s about the only thing they share

47) idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish

Losing feeling is getting old / Was I made from a broken mold? / Hurt, I can’t shake / We’ve made every mistake / Only you know the way that I break

or

If “I love you” was a promise / Would you break it, if you’re honest? / Tell the mirror what you know she’s heard before / I don’t wanna be you / I don’t wanna be you / I don’t wanna be you / Anymore

48) listen before i go by Billie Eilish

Tell me, love is endless, don’t be so pretentious / Leave me, like you do (like you do) / If you need me / Wanna see me / Better hurry / Cause I’m leaving soon / Sorry, can’t save me now / Sorry, I don’t know how

49) Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County

The great protector / Is that what I’m supposed to be? / What if all this counts for nothin’ / Everything I thought I’d be? / What if by the time I realize / It’s too far behind to see?

50) Stressed Out by Rex Orange County

I let them take control and take me for a fool / It’s such a shame / I never said a word and all time that I waited was a waste / They wanna see me stressed out every day, I know it

51) The Owl House: Lilith’s Fight Song “Black Enchantress” (Fanmade) by Frostfm

This one’s on here cause one of the players in our party asked what our battle theme would be during a fight and this is what I chose for Nova (and happened to find a version of it on Spotify so dope!)

52) Lavender’s Blue by Nursery Rhymes 123

Nova’s father used to always sing this song to her as a child so I put it on the playlist 🥺

53) Feel Better by Penelope Scott

Cause someone loved me, someone fucking loved me / Someone fucking loved me, and I loved them too / Goddamn it, I was worth something, I fuckin’ earned something / I have a right to die, a right to live, a right to choose, too / And God, no!

or

No one’s ever gonna love me like that again / I don’t wanna get over it / I wanna rip the stars to shreds / I don’t wanna feel better

54) Wait for Me (Reprise) by Hadestown

I’m coming wait for me / I hear the walls repeating / The falling of our feet and / It sounds like drumming / And we are not alone / I hear the rocks and stones / Echoing our song / I’m coming

Fun fact - My DM is the one who suggested this song for Nova

55) It’s Over Isn’t It (ft. Deedee Magno Hall) by Steven Universe

Who am I now in this world without her? / Petty and dull, with the nerve to doubt her / What does it matter? It’s already done / Now I’ve got to be there for her son / It’s over, isn’t it? / Isn’t it? / Isn’t it over?

56) What If Tomorrow Comes by Starkid

Tomorrow will come / Tomorrow won’t come / Will tomorrow come today? / And turn the light off / Do you all see what I see? / What I know / What I see / Do you all see the memories? / Tomorrow reminds me

57) Almost There by Princess and The Frog

And I’m almost there / I’m almost there / People down here think I’m crazy / But I don’t care / Trials and tribulations / I’ve had my share / There ain’t nothing gonna stop me now / Cause I’m almost there

58) Disobedient (ft. Kate Micucci and Michaela Dietz) by Steven Universe

Good afternoon, sir / What can I do, sir? / Just say the word, sir / Anything for you, sir

or

I’ve been good, sir / So very, very good for what? / And I’ve given you / Every single thing I’ve got / It’s feeling strange, man / This whole arrangement / Is gonna end with me totally deranged / When I think about all the wasted time I’ve spent / I wanna be disobedient

59) I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire by Kerrin Connolly

I don’t want to set the world on fire / I just want to start / A flame in your heart / In my heart, I have but one desire / And that one is you

60) Flowers by Hadestown

Dreams are sweet until they’re not / Men are kind until they aren’t / Flowers bloom until they rot and fall apart / Is anybody listening? / I open my mouth and nothing comes out / Nothing / Nothing gonna wake me now

or

Flowers, I remember fields of / Flowers, soft beneath my heels / Walking in the sun / I remember someone

61) I Do Adore by Mindy Gledhill

Finding words, I mutter / Tongue-tied, twisted / Foot in mouth, I start to stutter / Ha, ha, Heaven help me / Hello, how are you, my darling, today? / I fall into a pile on the floor / Puppy love is hard to ignore / When every little thing you do, I do adore

62) Fight for Me by Heathers

So who might you be? / And could you fight for me? / And hey, could you face the crowd? / Could you be seen with me and still act proud? 

or

It’s fine, if you don’t agree / But I would fight for you / If you would fight for me

63) Basics in Behavior - Blue Version by The Living Tombstone and OR3O

And I’m here wonderin’ if one day / We’ll finally be free from this cage / Is it okay to have a feelin’ / That maybe there is more to this game? / However now, no time to question / So just behave

64) It’s Been A Long, Long Time (with Harry James & His Orchestra) by Kitty Kallen and Harry James

You’ll never know how many dreams / I’ve dreamed about you / Or just how empty they all seemed without you

(The main reason this song was added is because another player in my partied played the song as Nova’s love interest died </3)

65) Hug All Ur Friends by Cavetown

You don’t know what it’s like to be nothing at all / When the night turns cold my thoughts feel like stone / And it’s nothing I can’t change / But I can’t breathe anymore / I forgot how to walk by myself

or

So hug all your friends and let them know / You’re not letting go / No, I won’t let go

66) Everything Stays (feat. Olivia Olson) by Adventure Time

Everything stays, but it still changes / Every so slightly, daily and nightly / In little ways / When everything stays

67) Look Who’s Inside Again by Bo Burnham

I was a kid who was stuck in his room / There isn’t much more to say about it / When you’re a kid and you’re stuck in your room / You’ll do any old shit to get out of it

or

Well, well / Look who’s inside again / Went out to look for a reason to hide again / Well, well / Buddy, you found it / Now, come out with your hands up / We’ve got you surrounded

68) Goodbye by Bo Burnham

Wanna guess the ending? If it ever does / I swear to God that all I’ve ever wanted was / A little bit of everything, all of the time / A bit of everything, all of the time

69) Top of My School by Katherine Lynn-Rose

But if I hadn’t earned a dollar / What would you think of your dear daughter? / Would it be pity or dishonor / To ensue? / And if I failed to earn blue ribbon / How could I ever be forgiven? / Tell me what love would still be given / From you

70) Girl Anachronism by The Dresden Dolls

There I go again / Pretending that I’ll fall / Don’t call the doctors / Cause they’ve seen it all before / They’ll say just / Let her crash / And burn / She’ll learn / The attention just encourages her

71) How To Let Go by August Greenwood

I fear almost everything / I don’t have the option to break / Cause all of the people I love have their lives at stake / I feel so selfish / I feel so insecure when I’m in pain / Please don’t hold me / I wouldn’t know how to let go

72) The Fall by Lovejoy

And we’re so calm but we’re (fucking scared, fucking scared) / And we’re so calm but we’re fucking scared of people like you

or

So come on, one and all to see the apathy / The reams of gray stencils that fill the tapestry / I look to all of you and see a different fucking species / Aspiration for a different destination to me

73) Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz

Finally someone let me out of my cage / Now time for me is nothin’, cause I’m countin’ no age / Now I couldn’t be there, now you shouldn’t be scared / I’m good at repairs, and I’m under each snare

(I mostly put this song here because it gave me the vibes of possession like when Orcus possessed Nova (or at least tried to))

74) Call Me What You Like by Lovejoy

You can call me what you like / As long as you call me / And you could kiss the skin from my lips / If it makes you feel good / I’m not sure if you want it / Not sure if you need me too

or

This just in / I am a total fucking dumbass / And I’ve come to the uncomfortable conclusion / I’ll be spending the rest of my life in a state of constant paranoia / Just let me follow you

or

I’m not paranoid, I’m a realist / I know you’re gonna kill me!

or

But you can’t stay awake forever / No you can’t stay awake forever

(basically this entire song is perfect LMAO)

75) Seventeen by Heathers

Let us be seventeen / If we still got the right / So what’s it gonna be? / I wanna be with you / I wanna be with you / Wanna be with you / Tonight / Yeah we’re damaged / Badly damaged / But your love’s too good to lose / Hold me tighter / Even closer / I’ll stay if I’m what you choose / Can’t we be seventeen? / If I am what you choose / If we’ve still got the right / Cause you’re the one I choose / You’re the one I choose / You’re the one I choose

76) Oblivion by Halfy & Winks

Would I be descending through the darkness / Through the fire and the rain and the mist? / Would the air fail to catch me as I failed to catch you? / Would we have fallen? / Fallen / Into oblivion?

77) Rhinestone Eyes by Gorillaz

A clear target in the summer when skies are blue / It’s part of the noise when winter comes / It reverberates in my lungs / Nature’s corrupted in factories far away / Here we go again

78) The Perfect Pair - Spotify Singles covered by Lovejoy (song by beabadoobee)

If I told you, you know how to / Go and break my heart in two

or

There’s worse things I can take / I know you hate it / When there’s nothing to say / I’m not sure we’d fix it / Guess we’re so used to it

79) Something Real by Schmigadoon!

I can’t tell you what you’re feeling / I can’t tell just what you feel / But touch my hand and I am reeling / Feels like this is something real

80) Scum by Lovejoy

I feel I’ve reached the end before I’ve reached death (oh-woo) / Pick up the pieces of me, you can have what’s left

81) Warsaw by Lovejoy

It’s good for me, I’m sure, I’m sure it’s good for me / I thought / I’d do anything you ask of me, that’s sure / What for?

or

It doesn’t get any better / You can try and try / But you’re just a cog in the machine / Apathy comforts me like a cell comforts an inmate / It won’t get better, I assure you / Make no mistake, we’re all going to end up in the dirt / I’ll be seeing you soon

or

She hopes to God that I just choke / She hopes to God that I just choke / She hopes to God that I just choke / And it gets a little easier

82) Consequences by Lovejoy

Do you ever feel like you fell off for about a year / I’d like to have another go / Cause I haven’t slept in about a week / I stay up thinking I will die

or

I wish I tried more, wish I tried more / Wish I tried / What’s this? / The consequences of my actions, now

(Lovejoy you understand Nova on a scary perfect level)

83) Alone by Nicholas Hamilton

Alone is not what it once was / Oh, remember when it was nice / Alone is just trying to survive / When the only one to talk to is your mind / Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh / But I’m getting pretty sick of my mind

84) The Hero by Nathan Hanover Synthonic Orchestra (GenLoss Soundtrack)

There’s no lyrics but this theme just fits Nova so well especially with the implications of “The Hero” and how that effected gl!Ranboo just trust me on this one

85) Disco! in the Panic Room by Bug Hunter

I am more the quiet type / I tend to be a shier guy / As safe as knee and elbow pads in cul de sacs with traffic lights / I spend most of my time alone / It’s not all that bad you know / I lost some weight from anxious pacing talking on the telephone

or

If I look brave I’m secretly / Pretending I’m a different me / The one on stage who plays and / Sings and claps and shouts and basically / Behind the door / Just out of view / Dancing in the panic room

86) Promise by Laufey

Honestly, I didn’t think about / How we didn’t say goodbye / Just see you very soon / It hurts to be something / It’s worse to be nothing with you

or

I’ve done the math / There’s no solution / We’ll never last / Why can’t I let go of this?

--

That’s the whole playlist! I started this post a year ago but never finished it and last night was the last session of our main campaign (at least until we can hopefully pick things up next summer) so I figured it’d be a good time to post it. I love my baby and honestly I’m pretty proud of this playlist, so here you go internet :D

[urijihoons-blog]

Bokuto: Clarity

/ Kōtarō Bokuto x reader /

genre: fluff babyyyy

wc: 3126

summary: Finally, the truth has been revealed. You can finally look at him with clarity. After a little domestic bliss, you devise a plan to take down the one who wronged you, and it’s time to set it in motion. 

warnings: dOmEsTiC bLiSs

a/n: Hey guys!!! I am SO sorry this took so long!!!!!!! As answered previously, I got wrapped up in all the holidays and then just recently started back up at college so I’ve been putting this off, and then I noticed 2 days ago that my draft had completely deleted somehow so i started it again haha karma I guess!! ✌🏻🥺

BUT HERE IT IS AHA

pt4

///

You were stunned. Bokuto was explaining everything to you in extreme detail, slowly going over the past few weeks. Of course, he’d get a little off topic at times, getting too in depth about practices or games, which made you smile on the inside, but as soon as he’d realize he would continue his story. He told you how Tamra had acted as if she just was interested in talking volleyball, how she manipulated him into being her friend, and then how she won the trust of the whole team. Bokuto never saw it coming. You wondered if he felt as stupid as you did right in this moment.

“When I saw you after I opened that door,” Bokuto eyes lit up slightly at the thought, a small smirk forming through his low laugh. “I felt as if I had finally come up for air. You looked so excited, your face was more beautiful than I remembered and your eyes,” he looked down at your intertwined hands, you turning his ring on his finger. “were so bright.” A darkness came over his features and his voice started to shake, your body tensed in response. You knew the next part all too well. “I should’ve never said she could come over, I should have never even been friends with her, Y/N.” Tears started to trail down the sides of his cheeks, making you tear up as well. “I’m so sorry,” his voice broke as he laid his head facedown on the bed next to your side, clutching onto your hand as if it had been his life line. “I’m so so sorry.”

“You can’t be sorry for being yourself.” You squeezed his left hand with one of your own, and put the other in his hair, softly trying to comfort him. “You thought she had no one, so you tried to be a good friend. You can not be at fault for trying to be kind.”

“That doesn’t matter, Y/N. I was not kind to who matters,” his shoulders shook slightly as he continued to cry into the duvet. “You. When you started to cry in the room, and I tried to hold you, you flinched under my touch. When you got in that elevator, there was no light in your eyes. Your beautiful face had shattered. I did that to you, Y/N.” He sobbed now. “I should’ve done right by you.” You squeezed his hand tighter, letting him know you’re still there. “I want to do right- I need to do right by you.”

“Bo,” you cooed. His head lifted up when he heard his pet name. Your hand grazed his cheek, your thumb swiping at the tears. One of his hands reached to cover yours as he leaned into this intimate touch. His reddened eyes fluttered shut taking it all in, and then opened to look at you. “You have done right by me. You have always done right by me. Even tonight, you tried your hardest to do right by me, and you succeeded in the end. I-“ your voice was caught in your throat, you choked down a small sob, “I’m the one who failed you.”

You started to cry now, really cry. Bokuto’s hands flew to your cheeks, trying to stop the stream of tears as he shook his head. He was about to say something when you stopped him, “I should have stayed earlier. I should have at least tried to hear you out, but instead I ran. I should have known better, I should have trusted you.” You laughed sadly, “I mean we’re getting married, right? I should’ve-“

“You still want to get married?” Bokuto’s small voice broke out. He was still holding your face, and his lips were inches from yours. His eyes were now wide with shock. Your cheeks flushed, and for some reason you suddenly felt shy.

“Well, I assumed since we have fixed this-“ was all you could get out before Bokuto brought your lips down to his, hard. This kiss was one that was filled with longing, passion, and love. After your initial surprise, you leaned into it. You haven’t kissed him in so long, not only because of the whole train wreck of a night, but because he hasn’t been home in weeks. His lips felt so soft as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into the bed to be beside you, closer to you. You had missed him so much. He pulled away, both of you panting at the air.

“I can’t believe this.” He started, putting his hands to his head. “All of this pain I’ve put you through and you still want to marry me? Are you serious?” He asked, searching for something in your eyes. Rejection, maybe? He still looked so surprised.

You smiled softly at him, “Of course.” You stated plainly. “You’re the only one for me, Bo.” You leaned up to meet your lips to his once more, a quick, chaste kiss. He was still leaning into your space with his eyes closed when you had already pulled back. They snapped open when he realized you weren’t still kissing him, his golden eyes electric, waiting for your touch.

“Let’s go back to our room, sweetheart,” he smirked getting out of the bed, and held a hand out for you to take. “It feels weird that I want to make out with you in Atsumu’s bed.”

That night, you cuddled in his hotel room. After Hurricane Tamra, you both deserved to end your 4th year anniversary with a little bit of light. He had asked you about the shop and your plans for this trip. With your head on his chest, and those beautiful golden eyes constantly watching your every move, you spoke adamantly about your thought process with this whole trip. He was so excited that you were finally going to be able to watch him play, it had been awhile since you could attend a game in person.

Throughout your time there that night, Bokuto kept holding you tighter and tighter. Occasionally, he would bring his hand up to your face, while you both laid in silence, and would trace your features with his fingers lightly. He would also randomly pepper you with kisses from your forehead, to your neck, to your shoulders to show you that you have his full attention and affection. You knew it was because even if you had completely forgave him, these past few hours had been and will continue to haunt him for a while. After staying up for the sole reason to be in each others arms, you both finally got to sleep around 3:30 in the morning, which was not ideal, but was still perfect considering you got to spend time with him.

//

Game day. It’s game day.

Bokuto’s eyes snapped open at the thought. While his sleepy eyes cleared, he realized something was tickling his nose, it was your hair. This made him smile.

He hasn’t been able to wake up to your sleeping face in so long. The sun shone softly through the curtains, and it hit your skin enough to make you look as if you glowed. You were tangled together under the sheets, legs wrapped around one another while both of your arms are hugging each other. The sight made him excited for the future, becuase everyday would be like this. Bokuto was careful enough not to move too much, in fear of waking you up. He checked his watch. It was only 10, and he didn’t have to be anywhere until 12, so he was safe on time.

He started to play with your hair, slowly moving his hands down to stroke your arms, and then began drawing shapes on your shoulders. He didn’t want to wake you up, but he did want to spend some time with you before he left for practice and warm ups. You made a small groan, and took your time to open your eyes. Before Bokuto knew it, you had snuggled in closer for warmth, grabbing his arms and pulling them around your body. You started drawing shapes on his arms now, and Bokuto couldn’t believe that you were still his.

Last night, he felt as if he were in a nightmare and now, it’s like he woke into a dream. “Hey angel,” Bokuto rasped out in his low morning voice. “What do you want to do for the next few hours? We can grab breakfast, or-“

“I think I would rather just lay here with you, if that’s okay,” You cut him off, speaking quietly, moving to where you could fully see his face. “I haven’t seen you in a while, and I’ve really missed you, and I don’t want to poke our bubble just yet.”

Your words squeezed his heart, you missed him. Enough to not want to go get breakfast. Bokuto smiled sheepishly, pulling you in closer. “That is more than okay,” he leans his head down to plant a long, sweet kiss to the top of your head, “it’s perfect.”

When 11:30 rolls around, Bokuto is disappointed that he has to leave your warm bed. He quickly runs around the room, grabbing clothes and shoes and different essentials for the rest of the day. Every once in a while, he’ll pass you and give you a quick peck on the lips. He does this when he’s nervous about something. And that something today was Tamra. Of course her team was the one they were playing in the finals.

“The stadium is only a block away, and we can get dinner together tonight, and-“

“Bo,” You cooed. He picks up his face, red with both anxiety and frustration. “I understand it’s your job to see her. I’m not worried about this,” you step out of bed towards him. You only have on one of his big t shirts, he takes notice. “Or us.” Now his face is red for different reasons. You wrap your arms around his neck while you stand on your tippy toes. His arms automatically hang loosely at your hips. “I have complete faith that you are going to go out on that court and win the finals. I also have complete faith that you are going to do the right thing, like you always do. You don’t have to talk to her, in fact don’t even look at her. Don’t give her the satisfaction of your attention. You deserve the satisfaction of a solid win.”

That look you gave him, with those beautiful eyes, it could kill and save. Bokuto leaned down to give you a quick peck that turned into a long, passionate kiss that left you both breathless. This was the encouragement he needed, you by his side. With him going into battle like this, no one could stop him. You untangled yourselves from the loving embrace, and he picked up his bags. “Y/N,” he looked you directly in the eyes. “I love you with everything that I am.”

“Then play with everything you’ve got. Win this for me.”

The words still sent sparks down his spine as he dropped off his belongings in the locker room. He was thinking of the intensity that your beautiful face held when he walked out on the court to meet his teammates. The only thing that could take him out of his thoughts were the voices of his teammates.

“Kuto!” “Did you make up with Y/N last night?” “Is she okay?”

The smile on Bokuto’s face answered every nagging question of the team. A collective sigh filled the stadium. Of course they were relieved to hear the news, this wedding was the only thing going on in some of these guys’ personal lives. “I’m so glad to hear that, Kuto!” Hinata’s voice rang out as he entered the court.

Noises came from the opposite side, and everyone knew who followed them. “Okay guys, you know the drill.” Atsumu’s voice was tight. Everyone’s faces immediately dropped into a scowl. The team looked more focused then ever. Bokuto knew this was a big game, but didn’t think everyone needed to be so on edge.

“Why are you guys looking so hostile?” Bokuto questioned lightly. Everyone looked to him as if he should know.

“Y/N called with a game plan. She’s pretty smart, y’know?” Atsumu smirked, which made Bokuto burn a little at the thought of him having any private thoughts about you. “Anyways, this is how she believes it will go down.”

Atsumu went into fine detail about the days events, how everyone was to act, and where to lead the storm. Bokuto’s mind was racing, thinking and imaging everything that was to come. “When did she have time to plot this?”

“Oh, you would be surprised how quickly women can plot revenge.”

//

The game was about to start.

Every once in a while, during the warm ups, Tamra would stare at Bokuto, trying to pry his attention from the sport, or would beckon him over to try to talk to her. Of course he never looked in her direction because 1) he didn’t really care to even be in the same room as her, and 2) this was part of the plan. He could tell she was getting annoyed by the lack of attention though, he could feel her angry gaze on him almost at all times. It also didn’t help that whenever he would make a good spike, she would say, “Nice kill!” just to get a reaction from him, but this was to be suspected.

After a while of this, the teams headed into their respected locker rooms to get into their headspace for the game. Bo texted you, ‘Hey, so far so good, she’s pissed. I miss you tho 🥺 xx’ to which you immediately replied, ‘You’re going to do great tonight babe, on and off the court! I’ll be right on the center line in the front cheering you on!! I love you💗 xx’.

Bo smiled with anticipation. This is your first game you’ve gotten to see in person in probably a year or so. Because of your business and your work ethic, it was hard to align your schedules. Not to say that he didn’t wish to see you at every single one of his games, but it never really bothered Bokuto too much that you couldn’t come because he understood what it was like to be passionate about something. It was one of his favorite things about you. He sat there in thought for a very long time so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice the time flying by.

“Alright guys, it’s time. Let’s go!” The coach’s voice rang out. All of the boys were pumped, full of adrenaline and focus.

It’s time.

//

You’re heart could not stop pounding. You stood in your spot wearing one of Bo’s old jerseys, black ripped jeans, and some white tennis shoes. You knew you looked good. Your hair and make up was done, and your ring was shining like a star under the stadium lights. You heard the screams of fangirls and knew what was to come next.

The teams started jogging out to their respected benches, and you were sitting on the same side of the court as your lover. As soon as you saw that silver and black hair, you knew. Bokuto’s smile as he was jogging alongside his team made your heart flutter, but what was even better was how his eyes lit up as soon as he saw you. His smile broadened and his cheeks tinged a slight blush, he was practically glowing.

After he sat his belongings down at the bench he ran up to you and gave you a quick peck on the lips. “Hey doll,” he smirked as you wrapped your arms around his neck and hung them on his broad shoulders, “is she watching?”

You looked past his head discreetly and there she was, arms crossed, hip popped out, and a bright red face. You completely forgot she was there, that’s how forgettable she was. You let out a low laugh that made his eyes shine with desire, “of course.” You gave him another chaste kiss, “Time to go, Bo. You got this!” His smile was so bright, you were left seeing stars as he jogged back over to the team. At the sudden realization that you were in the crowd, Hinata and Atsumu both smiled and waved at you, and you returned the nice gestures.

Throughout the entirety of the game, it went like this. Tamra focused on you while doing her manager duties, you focused solely on Bo, and he focused solely on the game. Every once in a while, when he made a kill or a nice block, he would look over at you to make sure you were watching him, which of course you were, it was hard not to, and he would tap his thumb to his ring finger. This is something he started doing right before he proposed, something that meant it was for you. This made your heart burst.

After the game ended, with Bo’s team victorious, his team huddled up and let out a few howls in excitement. In the midst of the chaos, so wrapped up in the emotion of it, Bokuto searched for you in the crowd. You caught his eyes and he started running for you, his strong arms picking up and spinning you around in a big hug. You couldn’t help but laugh at his excitement. He gave you a breathtaking kiss right on the court, as if there weren’t hundreds of people cheering around the two of you for the win. “Did you see me? Did you see everything?” He pressed his forehead to yours, looking into your eyes.

“Of course I did, Bo. You played your heart out, that was the best game I think I’ve seen you play to this date.” You said, still breathing a little heavy from the kiss.

“I did it for you.” Those words squeezed your heart. The intensity in his eyes let him know he wasn’t joking. “It was all for you.”

You held him tighter, nuzzling your face in his neck to hide the brim of tears. “I love you.”

He drew circles in the small of your back, pulling you closer to him. “I love you too.”

His team called for him, and he knew he had to go, but he just wanted to live in this moment forever. “Bo, it’s okay. You have me all to yourself for the next week.” You reminded him, letting go of him reluctantly.

He nodded, “Okay, see you soon.”, now the real game began.

///

Okay so I’ve decided... there has to be a part 5. I needed domestic Bokuto so bad because we haven’t truly had any happiness in this fic until just now!!!!! So I’m doing part 5!! And then that will be the end of it🤗🥰💗✨ I hope you all enjoyed!!

[tslyricx]

5. ALL TOO WELL

Let’s continuing with one of the most heartbreaking, saddest and complex of the entire record of RED. This song finds Taylor reminiscing on the memories of a past relationship from start to finish. The track was written by Taylor and Liz Rose, who was also a collaborator in her previous albums.

The song starts the story - telling with:  “I walked through the door with you The air was cold But something ‘bout it felt like home somehow”

Walking through a door can be used as a metaphor to indicate the start of something new like a love story. Taylor compares their relationship to a house, at the beginning it was cold since the two just met, but at the same time she felt at home with him and she knew that it could be the start of something important.

After all these days, we can see that he still has her scarf, which she left at his sister’s house. Despite the ending of their relationship, his memento proves he still cares about her, and the scarf acts as a token of his continued passion: “ And I left my scarf there, at your sister’s house And you’ve still got it  In your drawer, even now” The fact that it’s in the drawer highlights that although she will continue to be a part of him, she isn’t relevant to his life in the same way she used to be. 

In the firt verse, we realize that she fell for him initially because he had a warm, kind feel about him and she was a bit naïve. The two went on road trips together, singing songs and enjoying their time together: “Oh, your sweet disposition And my wide-eyed glaze  We’re singing in the car getting lost upstate Autumn leaves falling dow like pieces into place And I can picture it after all these days” Leaves randomly falling off trees in autumn is a natural part of the season cycle, but the occurrence was so appropriate for the moment that it seemed each leaf was falling artistically in the right place. This also accents on how detailed Taylor’s memory is. Even though she wants to forget about the relationship, she can still visualize all the moments they spend together; even the way the leaves fell on the ground. The phrase “pieces into place” also insinuates coming together. What I mean is that love is like a puzzle put together; as their relationship was growing tighter in that moment.

The pre-chorus describes perfectly how she really felt when the relationship came into an end: “And I know it’s long gone And that magic is not here no more And I might be okay, but I’m not fine at all” She knows that they are not together anymore, but she doesn’t want to accept it. The relationship had such a strong emotional commitment to it that it’s hard to separate herself. While on the surface she acts unaffected by the breakup, it leaves her shaken and sad.

As the song goes on, in the chorus we figure out that this song blurs the line between memory and reality. One of Taylor’s major song-writing tropes is to privilege the past on equal grounds to the present and here she state explicitily that the past is “here” “again.”: “’Cause there we are again on that little town street”

The next line in the chorus, is probably one of the most romatic lines in songwriting history: “You almost ran the red ‘cause you were looking over me” The idea is so simple: her lover was so swooned by her that he nearly killed them. Moreover, the idea of trysting lovers risking it all for their passion is a major theme in literature and song. As an example we have the well-known Shakespeare’s work: “Romeo and Juliet”. Also, this isn’t the first time Taylor has used traffic light metaphors. She also uses it in the 1st and 11th track on the red album. In an interview for Wonderland magazine’s “Outspoken Issue,” Taylor talked about this: “Relationships are like traffic lights. And I just have this theory that I can only exist in a relationship if it’s a green light.”

It continues saying: “Wind in my hair, I was there, I remeber it all too well” The idea of wind in her hair reminisces on times that were carefree and fun. It’s a blur between Taylor’s reality and what she wants to remember the relationship as. Taylor believes it was perfect the whole time; it was almost like living in a dreamed state that she can’t shake the rushes of feelings she gets back as time progresses even after the relationship: she remembers it all too well. Because the feelings were so strong and intense, she can’t just forget it. .

She keeps telling the story really detailed, recalling the good moments of the relationship: “Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-size bed And your mother’s telling stories about you on a tee ball team You tell me about your ast, thinking your futre was me”

When their relationship is finally over she’s trying to think about how she could’ve saved it, but isn’t coming up with anything: “And I know it’s long gone And there was nothing else I could do And I forget about you long enough To forget why I needed to” She makes the decision to move on from her relationship and attempts to forget about it completely. However, it’s the intricate memories detailed throughout the song which make it difficult for her to move on easily, as she remembers the good times of the relationship and clings onto that.

In the second chorus, Taylor exhibits her artistry with carefully picked wording: “’Cause there we are again in the middle of the night We are dancing around the kitchen in the refrigerator light Down the stairs, I was tgere, I remmber it all too well” The “middle of the night” and subtle “refrigerator light” uses imagery to point to the intimacy of the moment. She paints the picture of a quiet, sweet moment shared between the lovers which beautifully contrasts the more vivid, rushing emotions from the car ride in verse 1.

Afterwards, we realized that Taylor and her lover probably had two different ideas about the way their relationship should’ve proceeded; she wanted a serious and long lasting one while he didn’t want to commit yet and ran away from her, destroying all the good that they built together: “Maybe we got lost in translation Maybe I asked for too much But maybe this thing was a masterpiece  ‘Til you tore it all up Running scared, I was there, I rember it all too well” Fun fact: Lost in Translation was a 2003 comedy-drama film, considered to be one of the best films of the 2000’s. It revolved around two strangers who form a personal yet short-lived relationship. The reference was likely intentional.

She continues the song, saying: “I’m a crumpled up piece of paper lying here ‘Cause I remmber it all, all, all too well” Theatrically, when an artist scraps his work, he crumples the piece of paper he’s working on and throws it away. Taylor is essentially portraying herself as her ex’s “rough draft.” Even though she’s scrapped and forgotten, she still remembers everything as she has all of his “work” written on her. A key theme in this song is change. Take a clean sheet of paper, and crumple it up. No matter what you do to that crumpled up piece of paper, you can’t make that sheet into the clean, pure piece of paper that it originally was. Her relationship with him was so strong, that once they broke up, she was forever changed.

When they broke up, though, Taylor sadly lost her ability to enjoy a successful independence: “I’d like to be my old self again But I’m still trying to find it”. “After plaid shirt days and night when you made me tour own Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone” “Made me your own” in contrast to “walk home alone” are also important pieces here. The former seems to refer to an intense closeness between him and Taylor; likely both sexual and emotional in nature.

In the last lines of the bridge, she mentions again the scarf she was reffering earlier in the song: “But you keep my old scarf from that very first week ‘Cause it remainds you of innocence and it smells like me You can’t get rid of it, ‘cause you remember it all too well”

It means so much to him that, even after he’s returned all her other items, he’s kept the scarf. Again, the scarf symbolizes his longing and passion for the relationship. Taylor isn’t the only one hurting. There’s an element of nostalgia that goes beyond his relationship with Taylor, too. He misses the innocence of that time in his life, when even a kiss was exciting, before he got older and the kinds of things he did with Taylor became routine with other girls. She mentions specifically that it’s from “that very first week,” when their romance, and romance in general, was still fresh and new to them. In a way, the scarf is a symbol of his relationship with Taylor, and his relationship with Taylor is a symbol of his lost innocence.

To sum up, with the last three lines, Taylor recalls all the important moments she talked about in the song. She’s positive that he remembers these special times. The one difference? he may not have realized how special their love affair was, but she sure did. She knows their relationship is over, but she won’t forget it easily: “Wind in my hair, you were there, you rember it all Down the stair, you were there, you remmber it all It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well”.

Co-writer Liz Rose said to Rolling Stone Magazine: “When we wrote the song, I hadn’t heard from her in awhile. She hadn’t really been writing. I was in Nashville one day, slowly moving the last bits of junk out of my garage so I could move to Dallas. […] I was in my driveway and my phone rings, and it’s Taylor saying, ‘Man, I’ve got this thing and I really need you to help me with it. Can you write today? What are you doing today?’ [I later] drove over to Taylor’s. It was the first song she wrote for that record, I think. She had a story and she wanted to say something specific. She had a lot of information. I just let her go. She already had a melody and she started singing some words, and I started writing things down, saying, ‘Ok, let’s use this, let’s use that.’ She mentioned a plaid shirt, and I wrote that down in a corner, and when we got to the end, I said, ‘Let’s put the plaid shirt in there.’ That turned into one of the best lines. […] It was the most emotional, in-depth song we’ve ever written.”

Also, Taylor said: “All Too Well” was difficult to write emotionally because it took me a really long time to filter through everything I wanted to put in the song without it being a 10 minute song, which you can’t put on an album. I wanted a story that could work in the form of a song and I called my co-writer Liz Rose and said, ‘Come over, we’ve gotta filter this down,’ and it took me a really long time to get it.”

Favorite lyrics: All the freaking song.

 Album: Red released on October 22, 2012.

 Witten by: Taylor Swift and Liz Rose. 

 Hidden message: Maple latte. 

 Picture: Taylor performing “all too well” live in the RED tour in 2013.

[wishingawayreality-blog]

Author’s Note: My friend gave me a and a few others some prompts for Halloween. This is my submission. :3

Prompt: "The man leans into you. There is a dark red almost black color to the whites of his eyes. He is so close his nose is almost touching your nose. You can feel his breath when he says, “We all have it in here. We are all infected."

Trigger Warnings: Death, hints of kidnapping, murder, feelings of loneliness.

Day One



I don’t know how I got here, but I suspect it was something sinister that led me here. No. I know it was. The house didn’t resemble anything from a horror book, with it’s light orange paint and baby pink trim. It stood as a tall reminder of how elegant America was back in the abhorrent days of slavery.

And maybe that’s what made me question things, that stark reminder of how appearances can be deceiving and the most pleasant of looks often house something darker beyond our imaginations. Yet despite the unease that cut into my stomach, I found myself unable to halt my approach up those three creaking steps and to the front door. It opened with an invisible force, leading into a darkness that consumed even the shadows of the night. The floor groaned beneath me, proving to be more brittle with age than the outside appearance first suggested.

I felt the fog in my head grow thicker until I could barely recognize that I was in a house. That was when he appeared. He leaned into me, a hand snaking around my waist. Despite the darkness that surrounded me and the blank slate my mind became, I noticed the dark red, almost black color, to the whites of his eyes, magnified by the pale skin of his face and the shining amber of his irises. He leaned in so close that our noses almost touched. For a moment, I thought I could feel his breath, but now that I write this, I know that it wasn’t his breath. It was merely the vibrations of his words.

“We all have it in here. We are all infected.”

Then I woke up, with a chill draft wafting over me. The man’s words circled in my head for several minutes after I found myself in a bed that wasn’t mine. I began to wonder how many there were, and what this infection was. Despite a new ache in my neck and a heaviness in my limbs, I felt well. Prior to having come to the house, despite the strange cloudiness in my mind, I felt just fine as well. But the man’s strange eyes still haunted my mind and I dared not to wander away, though eventually I would have to return home. 

I will try in the morning. For the meantime, I wanted to document everything that happened to me in a journal I found on the bedside. The beginning pages are torn out, but in case I do fall ill, I want others to know of it. It strikes me as a strange ailment, if it turns one’s eyes the same color as the man’s, and not one spoken of in the world. Perhaps one day my own documentation will be important.

Day Two

I write this with a shaking hand from an ice cold chill that surrounds every fiber of my being. I have indeed fallen ill, but with what, I do not know. I can only speak to the symptoms that ail me. I wish to say that they’ve been prominent ever since this morning, but I have no means of telling the time of day. The house is shrouded in an impossible darkness, and went I went to open the curtains earlier, the sun stung like a million ants tearing through my body in every way, so I promptly shut it again.

I have had a hacking cough since awaking this morning, however, which only seems to grow worse as the day progresses. It started out as merely a cough, as one would have with a chest cold, but has begun to include blood. It has even, on occasion, been in congealed masses as if my lungs hold some unknown cut that can’t quite clot. I first thought that perhaps I had tuberculosis, and some doctor foreign to me had diagnosed it and sent me to a home to be under quarantine.

This wouldn’t explain the man’s strange eyes. Mine own I cannot see, because there are no mirrors in this hellish home. But I also realized that we have a cure now, one that I believe works no matter what stage of the illness, and as I had shown no symptoms, I surely could have been cured. 

Awhile after waking up, I began to throw up. At first it was the usual bile from an empty stomach, though I felt no real nausea. Now it has become something black and smells like the sulfur of a demon. I fear I am dying, and at a quicker rate than I could have ever imagined. All day I’ve bounced between panic and acceptance. In the panic, I have cried out for help from my housemate. I’m so scared, and I don’t wish to be alone. He didn’t seem too friendly, but surely he at least knows how to survive the illness. And any company is better than none. I just don’t want to be alone...

He did not come at my calling, though. I attempted to leave my room, but the illness has left me weak and cripples me when the bouts of coughing or vomiting come up. I am to die alone, and it scares me. I don’t know where I am, I don’t know what I am ill with, I don’t know if my loved ones are alright. In the quiet, and the dark, and the pain of this illness, I’ll succumb to the quiet solitude of death. I have no idea what lies in store for me beyond, but I’m not ready to leave.

My cellphone is missing, there is no phone in this room. I’m scared. I just want someone to help me. I can’t do this alone. I wish these words reached more than just the paper. I don’t even have my wallet. Will anyone come for my body, or am I here to rot with the ill? Who knows how many others have died here?

Please. Someone. Find me. Please… I don’t want to die alone. I don’t want to rot here. Please find me…

Day Three?

I don’t know how long I was asleep. It feels like years, perhaps even longer. When I first awoke, I felt nothing. Everything feels strange; I couldn’t even remember what happened to me until I read this journal. Am I still ill? I don’t feel sick at all. I don’t feel cold. In fact, everything feels almost unbearably hot. Prior to reading this journal, I went to open the curtains. The sun poured in, and whatever I may have, or however it may have changed me, I don’t think I can ever go outside again. I felt as if I was in a furnace, as if my insides were burning their way out of me. Instinct must have guided me to close the curtains, because I don’t believe I could have willed myself to do so.

Since I am feeling better, I’ve decided to explore a bit more. I can hear a dull thumping, a rhythmic beat. At first, I thought it was muffled music from somewhere deeper within the house, but it hasn’t stopped, and the rhythm may change randomly. I cannot identify where it’s coming from, but I’m too scared to leave the floor I’m on. There are four rooms on this level. Mine and three others that appear to be uninhabited. I cannot find my mysterious housemate and there are no signs of anyone else here. How many of us truly are infected? Has he kidnapped me and done some torturous experiment on me? Am I poisoned?

I still cannot find a mirror. I did try to shower, fearing the stench I may carry from being ill and sleeping for who knows how long, but the water does not seem to work from any faucet I’ve tried. Which brings me to my next mystery; I am neither hungry nor thirsty, though I know I haven’t had anything to eat or drink in a great while. Perhaps I am already dead and a specter, and this world I now inhabit is some strange in between where I only think I’m interacting with the things around me?

Before I could attempt to muster the courage for further explanation, a shrill scream shook me to my core. It pierced through my head like a hot knife through butter. It caused me no pain, but the sheer pitch was uncomfortable. I retreated to my room after that and haven’t left since. I don’t know what caused it, but something makes me feel that it’s not a sound that brings good omens.

I’m going to have to find a way out of here, since I’m still alive, but I feel it’s my duty to find out what secrets are hidden here. If I can save someone else… Actually, I’m not sure I care to save anyone else. I simply feel drawn to something in this house. Perhaps it’s the man that greeted me?

Oh, another mystery. I seem to not be breathing? I only realized it writing these words. My chest no longer heaves up and down and there’s an emptiness there. It may just be that my breathing is too shallow from whatever is happening to me but I feel nothing there. I can’t even hear my own heartbeat. I am… empty.

Day Four

I… cannot. I don’t know what to say about the horrors I saw today.

Today, I chose to explore. I managed to pull some courage out of… whatever sort of soul I have. I wanted to find the beating, the shrill noises. I need answers. If I am to die, if this journal is to help anyone, I need to know what this is. Take this journal, whomever shall find this, and learn the symptoms. Know when you are sick, and find a cure.

But I digress.

I went to the first floor of this home, and still no other signs of a living being presented themselves to me. So I continued on, checking each room. There’s a study, with a large oak desk, a quill and inkwell, and books that line the walls. I decided I wanted to know a bit more about whoever owned this place, or whoever set it up. The books were all old. Some of them date back to the 1600s, yet they’re in perfect condition. I couldn’t find anything more modern, anything that I might be familiar with. The most recent I found was from the 1940s.

I searched the desk, but found nothing, not even a pen or piece of paper. That room connected to another room, which opened to the hallway. It appeared to be a living room, with old decor. There is no television or radio that I can find anywhere. None of the doors were locked, though none of the rooms looked lived in. Not a single bed sheet was ruffled, and not a single item of personal value. I wondered, who else lived here? Who else was infected? I didn’t know I would find my answer in the most horrendous way.

I entered the kitchen next, and everything is empty. There are china dishes but no food or dirty dishes, there is no dishwasher. I clearly remember the house appearing to be from the 1800s when I approached on my first night, but it truly seems to be from the 1800s, without any modernization. The floor is intact enough, though wallpaper peels and paint chips. The wood is faded, but nothing seems hazardous. From the laundry room, I found a set of stairs that descended to the basement.

In this basement are four women, all of them chained to the wall. Standing around one, with her throat slit and the deepest of red blood pouring from the wound in her neck, were three others. I recognized the man who greeted me the first day; he turned to me with those dark red and amber eyes. A grin parted his lips and I noticed the charm in his aura. His dark hair contrasted from that snowy complexion. The fog in my head seemed to return.

The other two, I barely took note of as the horror of what stood before me broke through the haze. A young girl, with blonde hair and pale skin. The blood pooled on the floor and I noticed the second man had a tint of that same red on his pink lips and on his fingertips. And then it hit me, that sweet smell like honey.

I could feel it, a longing and a sudden hunger worse than any I’ve felt before. I wanted it, whatever it was that caused that scent. It filled the air like smoke and my body felt a jolt of pain. “Come,” the third member beckoned. She looked different from the others. Her dark skin made those same dark red eyes sink into them. Only instead of amber orbs hidden in the darkness, a pale blue bounced back. There is no way to describe her beauty or the grace with which she offered her hand to me.

I don’t know how long I stood there before I realized; they wanted me to enjoy their murderous intent as well.

And then I was at the door. I don’t know how I made it up the stairs and found my way to the front door in a place I don’t even know, but before I even made it, the three blocked my path. My host stood directly in front of me, with the other man and the beautiful woman next to either side of me. What once I saw as charm and grace now looked wild, as if they were wolves and I a rabbit about to be torn apart.

The shadows of the house seemed to suffocate me as I stood there. And I realized my heart was not beating, as I should have felt the racing of my fear. Instead, the emptiness lingered.

My host reached his hand out, his fingers brushing the bottom of my chin. “You’ll learn,” he whispered. “We’re all infected…” The woman touched me next, placing her fingers to my forehead.

And then I awoke once more in bed with the vision of that girl against the wall. Her clothes stained an almost brown and that sweet, sweet smell lingering in my mind. I want it. I must find the source of that smell. Whatever it is in the basement, whatever they have done. I must know.

Though I know it is wrong and it is horrendous… I cannot say I’m sorry for the girl. I cannot say I felt bad for them. All I can say is that my upbringing has taught me better, but I don’t care to save them. Have I become so concerned about my own wellbeing? I don’t relate to them. There’s something else. Something lingering. I am not me.

Day Five

I have tasted the honey.

This is no infection. It’s a death, my death. And in my living death, I have performed the ultimate sin.

I killed the second girl. I ripped her throat out with that very hunger I’ve never felt before. For a moment, I could feel my heart beating and I partook that breath that was missing. It filled my emptiness. There was relief from this infernal heat.

I am not ashamed, because there is nothing to be ashamed about.

She told me that, the beautiful woman. As I ravaged the second girl, she told me it was the way things had to be. If we are to survive, if we are to cure ourselves, we must partake of the blood of the living. It’s simple. And I agree.

I did not choose to house this infection, this death within my body. He transferred it to me, but I cannot hate him. He is my host, my gracious host who has given me a home and provided nourishment.

Day Six

I am the monster, I am a child of the night. This is my last entry. Tomorrow, I will rip apart these pages and leave behind these thoughts. The next to be infected must learn for themselves, to shape their own undeath. They will either walk in the sun for redemption into Heaven, or join us in survival.

I am the monster, I am a child of the night...

[booksandbabblesblog]

Introducing My NaNoWriMo Novel!

I randomly decided to participate in NaNoWriMo next month! As you might know, I did Camp NaNo in July and in some miraculous way, I managed to write 50K words! I'm still amazed... Anyway, since that moment I was thinking of rewriting that novel during NaNo this November, but I decided not to. it kinda felt like “cheating” and I had another idea I wanted to work on! 

I wasn’t going to share anything, but I had a really successful outlining session today and since I’m now 100% sure I’m actually going to write it, I thought I’d share some details! I also wanted to link up with Beautiful Books 2017. Without further ado, here’s some details about my novel!

What inspired the idea for your novel, and how long have you had the idea?I absolutely love The Legend of Zelda the Nintendo video game. All these games have such incredibly beautiful storylines! One day (I think it was around the time of Camp NaNoWriMo earlier this year?) I was like “I want to write a Zelda retelling one day!” Then I finished playing the main storyline of Breath of the Wild a few weeks ago and the story just got stuck in my mind. A few days ago, I decided to try and see whether or not I could come up with a solid storyline. To my surprise I did! 

Describe what your novel is about! I wanted to do some sort of retelling of The Legend of Zelda. Basically all those games have three main elements: the princess, the hero and the enemy. I also loved a lot of elements from Breath of the Wild that I tried to use in my story as well. At this point it’s more “inspired by” than “a retelling”.

My novel is about a girl who’s the prince’s appointed knight/personal guard. It’s like a genderswapped Zelda and Link. They lose their big, important battle. The main character is on the brink of death, so she’s put in this special place where she’ll be healed and “resurrected” over a very long (think thousands of years) period of time. Meanwhile, the world goes on under the rule of the villain. She wakes up again a thousand years after her fall, without having any memory of what happened. She goes on an adventure to find out who she is and what she’s meant to do and reunites with her prince and their friends in the process. Most importantly, the battle she lost all those years ago will not continue.

What is your book’s aesthetic? Use words or photos or whatever you like! I’ll be making a Pinterest board soon, which I’ll share right here on my Tumblr!

Introduce us to each of your characters! Well, there’s obviously the hero and the prince. And the enemy. I don’t want to say too much yet because I’m still kind of fleshing them out and getting to know them, of sorts!

Something I can talk about, however, is this group of people who are basically my main character’s “squad”. This group is inspired by the Champions in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. They’re a tight knit group of friends who have each other’s backs and are like family. I can’t wait to see how their group dynamic is going to turn out, because that’s something I’m still working on.

How do you prepare to write? (Outline, research, stocking up on chocolate, howling, etc.?) I’m doing as much prep as I can. And howling. A Lot. I want my characters to be completely “fleshed out” so I’m making bios for them, with basic information, physical appearance, background, etc. Meanwhile I’m also thinking of locations and settings. A problem in my previous WiP was that I had barely any places to “go” to. So I’m doing too much world building now and will most likely not be using all of the places I come up with. And like I mentioned earlier, I’ve started outlining. Which I’ll be writing a separate post on later because honestly, outlines are holy to me and I cannot go without them. I’m basically working on separate elements right now, that’ll be put together like a puzzle when I start writing.

What are you most looking forward to about this novel? Finishing it? Haha, I have to admit I don’t really know (yet)! I’ve written things before (lots of awkward fan fiction included), but this will be the second time I’m actually planning on finishing a novel. My first Camp NaNo experience wasn’t the best one and it felt incredible to finis that first draft back in July. It’s also completely different from that project, so I’m excited to see it come to life!

List 3 things about your novel’s setting.

It’s set in a high fantasy world like Hyule in Zelda and the Throne of Glass world.

There’s technology, but it’s ancient, has a history and it’s not like anything we have now and/or know today.

There’s one big city. The castle isn’t actually in this city, but it’s somewhere else and has a “Castle Town”

What’s your character’s goal and who (or what) stands in the way? My main character’s goal is to save the world from an evil ruler. Obviously, this evil ruler stands in the way. There’s also her memory loss that makes it more difficult for her to achieve that goal. She doesn't know what part she plays in everything, and she doesn’t remember any of her friends! 

How does your protagonist change by the end of the novel? I’m not sure yet. She does get her memory back, but I think she’ll be looking at the world in a new and different way that she used to. It’s kind of like editing an old novel, right? You write something and then during editing you're like “Oh my god that’s so horrible/wrong/weird/etc.” I think that’s what’ll happen with my main character along her journey.

What are your book’s themes? How do you want readers to feel when the story is over? Honestly, I’ve never really thought of that when outlining or writing a novel! I think an important theme is that the hero in this story is a girl who’s basically the Prince’s personal guard. Do you ever see that in any YA fantasy? I never have! Another thing I think is important is a friendship that’s like a family. This group of people that help my main character along her journey are a very special bunch of people.

[baesketballers]

iv-b. i knew i loved you then

but you’d never know

ft. midorima shintarou

This is the thing that made me want to rip my hair off my head because of my PC randomly blue-screening me. To those who responded to the rant, thank you for your understanding!

@ourneverendingpossibilities​ it’s nice that you have such a positive outlook in life!! I was so mad when it happened, but since it’s complete now I guess everything’s okay ヽ(＊>∇<)ﾉ 

@squirrelsass13​ thanks for the encouragement! I rarely ever write on Word (it transfers weirdly when I copy and paste the text on tumblr) so I was typing straightaway on my Drafts... I click on “Save Draft” every paragraph now lol

Faint connections to the previous installation of Cantabile

Fem!Reader. Semi-NSFW. Long (2728 words).

I’m sorry if this sucks but... yeah.

Why do you play?

Isn’t being a doctor busy enough for you?

I’d ask you to tutor my son if you weren’t so busy!

Wow, you’re very ambitious. 

Those are words spoken by housewives, small medium enterprise owners, and white-collar workers. Midorima doesn’t think that they’re somehow lower than him in any aspect—sure, they earnings are technically lesser than his, but how does that define someone as a person? He meets these people everywhere, the people that make up his community, his society: at the clinic, in parties, at the grocery store... It’s no secret that he’s seen as an outstanding person by these people. 

Twenty-seven, has the letters “M.D.” behind his name, helps people get over all sorts of sicknesses from light ones like a common cold to not-so-light ones like diabetes, plays piano as a hobby.

It’s not really surprising to the people who ask him “what do you do in your free time?” because, you know, doctors. They’re classy and smart and all. Sure they can play the piano—he can probably play the violin, too.

But you can see their eyes significantly widen when they know he has a diploma in piano, certified by the Associated Board of Royal Schools of Music. Where is that name from? The United Kingdom. Why did you take it?

He always tells them it was just for fun, but a small voice inside him knows the truth: somewhere deep in his heart, he wanted to be a pianist.

His first words to you are: “It’s a common cold.”

“That much I can see, Doctor,” you deadpan, holding a tissue against your runny nose. He sighs. 

Midorima is used to handling all sorts of patients: naggy, rude, stubborn people... he’s seen them all in the past four years of his practice. Today, however, it’s only after lunchtime and he already wants to go home already. Maybe attending Akashi’s party last night isn’t really a great idea. Sure, it’s not a DJ-inviting or dance floor grinding kind of party, so he’s not physically tired—he’s tired from all the socializing with fake people. “Meet new people,” was Akashi’s reasoning for inviting the doctor, and of course Midorima did, but none of them were enjoyable.

To be precise, he can’t tell if they’re really enjoyable or not through layers of faux talk. Akashi texted him earlier, expressing his regrets that it was somewhat an unpleasant experience for Midorima. He also wrote “but I won’t stop inviting you to these social events—I understand how you think they’re superficial, but I can guarantee you that they genuinely enjoyed your piano very much.”

Well, if there’s one thing Midorima likes about those parties, it’s that he’s presented the opportunity to play.

“As a doctor, I have to announce the diagnosis to you, don’t I?” He replies, scribbling a pen on his prescription pad. “I’m prescribing you to these basic medications, but since your cold isn’t a serious one—yet—I highly recommend that you consume home remedies before resorting to these medicines.”

“M-hmm.”

“Turmeric tea, ginger tea, a mixture of lemon, cinnamon, and honey.”

“Got it.”

“Control your diet; you don’t want to eat food that’s going to worsen your cough.”

A sound of ripping paper. He hands the slip to you.

“You don’t remember me do you?”

That takes Midorima by surprise.

“Have we met before?” He asks warily as you take the prescription paper from his hand and fold it, putting it inside your handbag. Your lips form a small smile, and Midorima eyebrows furrows.

“You sang last night, didn’t you.” It sounds like a question, but his tone makes it clear that it’s rhetorical. He knows for sure that it was you who was dragged by one of your acquaintances that claimed you to be the best singer in a ten-mile radius—the expression itself is a horrible exaggeration, but when Midorima hears you sing, he has to admit that you do have an exceptionally lovely voice.

His first words to you turns out to be “what key?” instead of an illness announcement because he was the pianist accompanying you.

“You look different, Ms. Fly Me To The Moon,” he says aloofly, writing something on a document. You chuckle at the nickname, not knowing that the stoic doctor-slash pianist has the capacity to be somewhat playful, and towards the opposite sex, nonetheless. Midorima can only admire how melodious your laugh is, even when your voice is nasally from the cold. 

“At least you remember what I sang.”

“Like I said, you look different,” he repeats. You were clad in an elegant evening gown for the party last night, and although Midorima doesn’t have the eye to identify expensive clothing brands and such, he is able to appreciate how attractive you looked in the attire. Your hair was done simply in a style that matches your dress, and among the slight make-up you applied, he notices the suppleness of your colored lips first. 

The person sitting in front of him doesn’t carry the glamour of the party—you’re slightly pale, dressed humbly in a sweater and jeans—but the lack of make-up, fancy hairdo and dress doesn’t affect how beautiful you look, in his opinion. Your eyes still glows the same captivating way as he witnessed last night.

“Yes, well,” you sigh with a smile as you stand up, “you better engrave how I look last night deep in your memory, doctor, because I’m never going to attend one of those high-end social events ever again.” The first part was sarcastically said, but Midorima finds himself doing as you told, picturing the details of your gown and hearing your singing voice echo in his mind. Being a quite introvert doesn’t mean he’s immune to any of your charms.

“Shame,” he finds himself saying. You smirk, pausing right before you walk out the door.

“What, not being able to see me all dressed up again?” Ten years ago, Midorima would’ve easily flushed red at the teasing remark. He’s way past that now, and instead of reacting like the teenage boy he was, he looks straight into your eyes when he says:

“I was talking about how it’s a shame that I won’t hear you sing again, but that too.”

Two months later what you said proves to be a blatant lie. You’re standing beside Midorima, arms hooked with his, a casual sign that the two of you are attending together, presumably as a romantic couple. This time it isn’t Akashi’s, but a business partner of his—he nevertheless invited Midorima along to provide him the audience for his piano, and regarding yourself... well, you’re accompanying the pianist. It’s not like you’re crashing this party or anything.

It’s only your third “date” with the man, so to have the opportunity to see him up-close in a formal setting that requires guests to dress up is exhilarating, to say the least. Midorima’s handsome enough in his casual attire—having to stand next to him wearing a nicely tailored, dark-colored suit while having to keep your hands to yourself is almost some sort of punishment. And the collar button of his shirt! He always buttons his shirt all the way up and wears a tie to complement the outfit, but for some unknown reason he’s left it open this time and disregarded the tie.

If you didn’t know any better, he’s trying to tease you. 

“It’s rare to find you with someone by your arm, Midorima-kun.”

“Akashi,” Midorima acknowledges the voice. You turn to meet the redhead face to face, smiling softly.

“Good evening, Akashi-san.”

“Hello, _________. Good to see you,” he replies smoothly, as you reply in a similar manner. “Even more surprising finding out that you’re with him tonight. Are you two...?”

The two of you exchange looks as if telepathically deciding who should answer, and turns out you are. 

“Sort of,” you say, and the hint of mischief in your smile cannot be missed by even the most oblivious person in the room. Akashi surely isn’t one, but thankfully he doesn’t push you further.

“It’s a long story,” Midorima chips in, as if his relationship with you bloomed out of a blackmail kind of situation of some sorts. You chuckle, and so does Akashi —the latter is gracious enough to show the two of you to where the piano is.

“What are we?”

You are in his arms, as naked as he is, leaning your face against his chest and feeling the beat of his heart when you ask the question. It’s a summer night, and the sheets are loosely resting on your waist, the two of you too hot and sweaty from your previous activity to pull it all the way up to your neck. One of his hands is drawing soft circles with his thumb on your bare skin, while the other one that is untaped (very uncharacteristic of him, but it’s a sign of a good night) brush your hair in long, loving strokes.

He doesn’t respond. You snuggle closer into his chest, relishing the sensation of his nakedness against yours while you think of all the times you’ve spent with him. That one time you had lunch together, those meaningless parties you go to just so you can watch him play and he can hear you sing, the nights you stay together at his place. You’ve spent at least a hundred hours with him, though it doesn’t feel long or dragged—those hours are cherished and enjoyed to the fullest, arguments (petty or not) included.

But it’s his reserved nature that makes you feel insecure sometimes. Tonight is one of those nights.

You move up so that your face is right in front of his because you want to look at him in the eyes. He’s beautiful, the viridian undisturbed by the lenses of his glasses—the eyewear is carefully situated on the nightstand before all this began. You’re sure he can see you clearly from this proximity, your nose against his, your hand caressing his cheek. His hands drift down from the crown of your head to your chest, cupping your breast and playing with a nipple as his eyes grow half-lidded.

Midorima is the one to lean in first, engaging you in a chaste kiss, a perfect juxtaposition what with his hand groping your chest and the other slowly travelling down to your ass, stroking every inch of skin possible. You are the one to pull away, arms around his neck and eyes clouded with lust, thanks to the things he’s doing to your body.

“Do you love me?” The question comes out as a whisper.

“I’ll show you how much,” he answers in a heartbeat before he kisses you again, bringing your body under his. 

He never fails to convince you.

The afternoon sunrays shining through the high glass windows of the music hall are almost blinding, considering how dark it was just a few moments ago in the auditorium. You’re by Midorima’s side as per usual, looking around nervously with a bouquet of daisies and orchids in your arms. Your husband seems to be scanning the area like you are, and when you hear a shrill yell of a young child you know it’s who you’re looking for.

“Mama! Papa!”

The little girl, currently nine years old, runs towards the two of you with two or three large bouquets in her arms, the majority of her face covered by flowers. You laugh at the sight, crouching to hug her tightly once she reaches. Noises of plastic being scrunched can bother you less, as you feel your daughter burying her face against your chest. She pulls away to immediately look up at his father with bright eyes.

“Papa, how did I do?!”

“You did good, nanodayo,” he answers, a faint smile on his face as he fixes his glasses, “although there’s room for improvement in terms of arpeggiation—”

You gasp exaggeratedly, drowning the remaining of Midorima’s sentence. 

“Shiina! Papa says you did a good job! Do you know what that means??”

“No!” She replies, confused but ecstatic.

“I promised you we can go have dinner wherever you want if Papa praises you,” you reply, and the confused expression on her face melts into real unabashed excitement.

“Mama, are you serious!?” Shiina’s voice has become high-pitched from the bubbling enthusiasm that seems to have taken over her whole small body. “We can go anywhere I want!?”

“Yep,” you nod for further affirmation. “Papa has agreed on this, too,” this time you look over at Midorima, only to be amused to find the deadpan expression on his face. You give him a wink, and Midorima, witnessing his own daughter having such a great time just because you told her she can eat whatever she wants for dinner, can’t help but melt a little.

“Maji! I want Maji!”

“Sure, we’ll go to Maji tonight,” you say accommodatingly. Midorima can only smile down at the girl when she looks up at him, a face-splitting grin on her face. Even though her physical attributes are definitely inherited from him, she obviously takes after you in terms personality.

“And then I want to have ice cream after dinner! Can I, Papa? Let’s go home so I can prepare for dinner!!”

“You may, Shiina,” he sighs amusedly—what does a nine-year old kid want to do to ‘prepare for dinner’? “But before we go home you must meet Uncle Akashi first. He came to see you perform, you know.”

“Uncle Akashi is here!?” 

You chuckle. It’s a wonder how said man is viewed as intimidating and merciless among most adults dabbling in business, but is the opposite in the eyes of children. Shiina is almost obsessed with Akashi, what with his gentlemanly behavior that reminds her of Prince Charming. Shiina once even told you that since she can’t marry Papa, maybe she’ll marry Uncle Akashi instead—you have yet to tell Akashi this, but you have a feeling he already knows.

Speak of the devil, the redhead can be seen from twenty feet away thanks to his hair color, maneuvering amongst the crowd to approach your family. Shiina’s acting very much like an excited puppy, and you wonder if it’s immoral to compare the behavior of your human child to an animal (despite said animal being unbelievably cute as well), but that doesn’t matter anymore because Shiina is already in Akashi’s arms as he lifts her up in the air, chuckling amusedly.

Midorima looks at the scene with mild jealousy in his eyes—not that his eyes aren’t green in the first place.

“Mama?”

The usually animated voice of your daughter is now tired and soft as you tuck her in. She must’ve been exhausted after the performance.

“Yes, honey?”

“Can you tell me a bedtime story?” This piques your interest a little, because she’s stopped asking for stories before bed for almost a year now.

“Sure. What would you like to hear?” 

“The other day... Mai-chan and Reika-chan were talking about how their parents met and fell in love,” she says shyly, hiding her face behind a beloved doll. “Can you please tell me how you and Papa met, Mama? You’ve never told me that story before.”

You chuckle.

“You’re gonna have to ask Papa for that, honey. It’s a long story anyways, and you’re tired. Best go to sleep soon.”

“Okay...” Shiina says, and it’s not hard to pick up the disappointment in her voice.

“Goodnight honey,” you kiss her cheek before turning off the lights.

“’Night, Mama.”

Truth be told, there is no ‘long story’. Midorima just called you one day to ask you out for coffee with a tinge of nervousness in his voice that you can spot even from the other side of the line. You ended up scheduling a lunch instead, and if Shiina asks him to tell her how you fell in love with each other, he’ll have no explanation except of how breathtakingly beautiful you look with sunshine on your skin and a smile on your face as you talk about music and food and the stars. 

He will ask Shiina to keep it a secret from you, of course, because if you know he’s been in love with you for that long, he knows you’re never going to let it go.

[thebewitchingbard]

Christmas Miracle

Fandom: BLEACH

Couple: IchigoxOrihime

Rating: K

Warning: It’s an AU

“Thank you and come again” Orihime cheerily said.  The woman gave her thanks and walked out of the store with her order into the brisk winter night.  Orihime’s employee Megumi, was helping a man with his order of dozen seasonal cupcakes. Christmas time has always been the busiest time of year.  Orihime’s little bakery quickly became one of the most popular bakeries in town.  It could be because of her lab creations she would randomly make on a whim.  All the teenagers would come and take pictures or reaction videos of her new handiwork.  The free exposure worked in Orihime’s favor.  Everyone wanted to know what she would make next.  The Bakery became so popular she had to hire someone to help ease the workload.

“Inoue-san, today sure has been busy” the brunette said as Orihime hummed.

“At least, it’s not a crowd of zombies demanding cake” she said as Megumi stared at her.

“Oh, I should make zombie cookies tomorrow!”

“Zombies are more of a Halloween thing, Inoue-san”

“Mhmmm, than maybe Zombies with Santa suits” she smiled as Megumi couldn’t help but laugh. “And they could ooze green filling!”

The next few hours, there was a continuous stream of customers flowing into the shop.  Some would ask for bread, others bake goods. But, the mass majority of the buyers were picking up desserts for upcoming parties. Holiday parties’ sure great for business.  Although, it did take away from Orihime’s baking projects.  The counter was filled with reindeers, Santas, sleighs, snowflakes, Christmas trees, and yule log cookies.  The cakes were white with red and green icing spelling out Merry Christmas. Now wasn’t the time for robots, or snails shaped anything, it just didn’t fit in the season scheme.

“Yes, I’m here to pick up my order.  I called earlier” said an elderly man as Orihime’s face lit up.

“Oh yes, you ordered thirteen dozen mixed Holiday cookies and five cakes: three vanillas and two chocolates.  I have your order placed on the side just for you”

She went to the back of the bakery to get the massive order.  It was the typical bake order these days. However, no one ever order the day of their party such a large amount.  She made a quick mental note to update the store policy and let Megumi know. After the man paid for his desserts and thanked Orihime.

“I can’t believe we completed the order” Megumi sighed

“We can’t accept another order like that today.  That took a huge part of the day” Orihime exclaimed

“You say that, but I think you might agree to something like that” Megumi said as her eyes narrowed. Orihime was too much of a kind person to refuse people’s outlandish requests.

 Orihime looked down and noticed that the cakes were sold out.

“Megumi, can you watch the front.  I’ll be in the back to see if we have anymore cakes” Orihime said as Megumi nodded.

There were one Christmas cake stored away in the fridge.  It was a white frosted strawberry shortcake.  It was decorated with sugar candy Christmas trees on top with strawberries in between them.  It was a pretty standard cake but, it never failed to wow her customers. Something in the back of Orihime’s mind told her; she had save this one cake. To keep it away from the store front. Orihime knew better than to ignore her sixth sense.

“Sorry sir, we don’t have any more cake”

“Please don’t tell me that.  My sisters’ are looking forward to a Christmas cake from here.  They specifically told me to come to this bakery”

Orihime knew that voice.  She walked to the front to see no other than Ichigo Kurosaki.  His eyebrows kneed together, he must have been frustrated from as Megumi’s statement.  He didn’t notice Orihime had walked in just yet.  Orihime was stand still behind the door.  She was taken by surprise to see Ichigo here in her bakery of all places!

Ichigo has been in college for last few years.  He decided to go to Tokyo for College.  As much as it broke Orihime’s heart.  She mustered the strength to wish him well.  She was there at the train station the day he left.  The Kurosaki family and the rest of their friends wished good luck him.  Orihime learned it becomes nearly impossible to keep in contact with school friends.  Everyone was trying to find their place in the world.  Sure, Orihime had all her friends on social media.  But, she missed being able see them every day.

“I’m not sure if I can help you sir.  I’ll ask Inoue-san if there are cakes in the back storage”

“Inoue?”

“Oh hello, Kurosaki-kun” Orihime greeting with her usual warm smile.

“Oh Inoue, I didn’t know you worked here”

“Yup, I’m the proud owner of Sora’s Bakery”

“You own this bakery? That explains it, those little…” he mumbled to himself leaving both Megumi and Orihime slightly confused.

“Inoue-san, Kurosaki-san wanted to know if we have more cakes?”

“Oh you’re just in luck.  My sixth sense told me to save one”

“Thank god, I wouldn’t hear the end of it from Karin and Yuzu” Ichigo sighed with relief. “Thank you Inoue, you’re a life saver” Ichigo grinned.  The smile never failed to warm Orihime’s heart.  She than began to blushed as looking.

“Megumi-chan, can you please get the cake and wrap it up for Kurosaki-kun?” she asked waving close to her face hoping it would help.  Megumi nodded and walked towards the back.

“Inoue, Tatsuki told me you were thinking about opening a bakery.  But I didn’t tell me you did.  Sora is a pretty interesting name for a bakery”

“Oh, Tatsuki-chan has her mind on so many things with her training and all.  The bakery is named after my brother.  Sora used always encourage me to follow my dreams”

“I’m sure your brother would be proud of you”

“Thank you Kurosaki-kun”

“Here you go Kurosaki-san” Megumi intruded as she placed the box on the counter.

“Oh, Thank you” Ichigo said as he reached into his pocket.  He pulled out his wallet and opened it.  He took out a debit card and placed it on the counter.

“That will be 3396 yens”

“Inoue are you doing anything tonight?”

“Nothing that comes in mind”

“Ummm…do you want to come over” he muttered.  Orihime’s eyes widened at the unexpected invite.  She started smiling happily at Ichigo.  This must be one of God’ miracles.  She noticed a slight blush on Ichigo’s cheeks.  Was he embarrassed asking her come to the party?

“I’ll…I’ll be there”

“Great, I’ll be looking forward to it. See you later Inoue” Ichigo said as he walked out of the shop.  Orihime waved him a good bye and felt Megumi’s glare.

“Inoue-san, I’ve never seen you like this before.  Is he your old-” before Megumi could finish the sentence Orihime instantly shushed the girl.

“He’s an old friend from high school.  I might have a slight crush on him…” she muttered.  

A complete lie, it was much more than a crush.  A crush wouldn’t last for nearly eight years.  Orihime knew she was in love with Ichigo.  It one of her worse kept secret.  However, she never thought that he would invite her to a Christmas party. She was sure had something to wear to the party.

After closing the bakery, Orihime rushed to her apartment to change into her casual clothes.  Orihime stood in front of the house door and rang the ball.  Karin opened the door and greet Orihime.

“Ichigo’s inside” Orihime followed Karin.

Everyone was in the living room as music beating softly in the background.  It was a relaxed atmosphere to the party.  Orihime noticed Tatsuki and Ichigo battering about something or another.

“Orihime, you’re here” Tatsuki greeted

“Tatsuki, you didn’t tell me you were going to be here”

“I put it on Facebook. You only ever go on Facebook to play your games” Tatsuki said as Orihime laughed.  It was the truth.

The rest of the party was nice.  It was great to talk to everyone again.  Both Tatsuki and Chard talking about their new training schedules.  As everyone caught up they all started sharing stories of college and just adult fails.  It was comforting to know she wasn’t the only one struggling in life at the moment.

“Let’s cut the cake” Karin announced

“I’ve been looking forward to this cake all night” Yuzu grinned as Orihime smiled.

Yuzu quickly cut the cake and served it to the guests.  Ichigo like always got the slice with the strawberry on it.  Everyone happily ate their slice complimenting Orihime on her excellent cake.  The rest of the night was spent with everyone singing carols badly, and just being merry. Tatsuki and Chad both left saying they had to wake up early for their training.  An hour passed until Orihime looked at her phone to check the time to see it was getting pretty late.

“Thank you so much for inviting me.  I should be heading home” Orihime said

“Okay, when I’ll walk you home” Ichigo said causing Orihime to flush

“You don’t have to Kurosaki-kun” she panicked as Ichigo stood up and walked towards her.

“I’m not going to let you walk home alone” he insisted.

Both Ichigo and Orihime said their good byes to the group.  Although Chizuru and Mizuiro had knowing look on their faces.  Choosing to ignore their looks, Orihime and Ichigo walked out of the door.  It was cold night as expected on a December night.  Orihime remembered hearing that there was a chance it might snow later tonight.

“Can you believe those two?” Ichigo asked as Orihime giggled.

“Somethings never change do they?”

“One can only hope” Ichigo sighed

“So how’s the writing going?” Orihime asked

“It’s going well, I just finished my first draft to a book”

“Really? That’s great Ichigo.  What is it about?”

“Oh…it’s about a guy named Aki, it’s just following his transition from childhood to adulthood” Ichigo said causally.

“Sort of like what we’re going through right now”

“My professor said to write something you’re familiar with.  So I just went with it.  How long did it take you to finish Culinary School?”

“About a year, my aunt was a major investor.  Without her I wouldn’t be able to open the bakery”

“You look happy in the bakery.   I can see why Yuzu loves your cakes.  They’re sweet but not too sweet”

“Yes, I’ve been told that by some of my customers…um thank you for inviting me to the party”

“No problem Inoue. Thank you for coming”

There was a silence between the two.

“Inoue…”

“Yes?”

“I have something to say”

Oh no, what could it be?  That he was going to live in Tokyo permanently?  Orihime wouldn’t stop him.  She would never stop him from going after his dream.  It would hurt her heart to lose him forever.  Is that what he was going to tell her?  That he might never come back?  Suddenly tears began building in the corner of Orihime’s eyes.

“Inoue, why are you crying?”

“Because I-I thought you might m-move to T-Tokyo foreverrr” she sniffed as Ichigo looked at her confused.

“I’m not moving to Tokyo.  It’s fun, but this is my hometown and…you’re in it” he said softly.  Orihime’s eyes widened.  Did she hear what she thought she heard?  Was this a dream?  Did she have too much sugar or something?  Orihime looked into his deep brown eyes that were conflicted.  What was he trying to say?  Orihime lend in a little closer looking to those beautiful eyes.

“Ku-Kurosaki-kun?”

“I love you”

“What?”

“I love you Orihime…” he said softly as Orihime looked up at him in awe.

“You love me?” she cried as tears streamed down her face.

“Why are you crying now?” Ichigo asked as he wiped the corner of her eyes.

“I’m crying because I’m happy.  I’m just so happy right now Kurosaki-kun.  So happy” she blubbered.

In one motion, Ichigo pulled Orihime into his arms.  She froze at the sudden action.  Once the shock wore off, she buried her face onto against his chest. Ichigo gently patted her hair hoping the gesture would help relax her.  This was just too good to be true.  He loved her.  They loved each other.  Ichigo wasn’t moving Tokyo forever.  His planning to live in Karakura again.  It must be a Christmas miracle.  

It took Orihime sometimes to calm down.  She felt the warmth radiate from Ichigo’s chest.  She could get used to this.  In his arms Orihime felt safe something she hadn’t felt since Sora passed.  She felt as if she finally found someone to call home again.  When she looked up to see Ichigo smile tenderly at her.  He brushed a few strands of her auburn locks back behind her ear.

“Kurosaki-kun…I love you too”