#i just really really like Leman and Lion

[horuslupercal]

ranking the primarchs as boyfriends

Lion: honestly I can't see him dating cause he doesn't like women and Caliban homophobia but let's pretend. he is better than you. you both know this. makes no particular effort to pay attention to you. bad at social cues. will take care of you, kind of. will tell his astartes to guard you in a dangerous situation at least. uncommunicative. 2/10 loveless political marriage

Fulgrim: canonically emotionally tapped out. okay boyfriend in public, does not really interact much in private. RSD.Primarch. decent amount of gifts. might actually catch feelings for you and then pull away even more. 1/10 are you really dating

Perturabo: also RSD.Primarch. it's difficult to make him happy and very easy to upset him. you will end up on life support when he kills you in a fit of rage and then panics about it. if you tell him you like his artsy endeavours he WILL shower you in them so there's that. you cannot fix him. 3/10 more unstable ground than eggshells

Khan: knows what he's about (sexual). writes very pretty letters but this does not quite make up for him being gone all the time. more interested in his friends. emotionally mature primarch. pretty good at interacting with mortals like he respects them. not a guy who's good at (or likes) commitment/being "tied down". 5/10 you should just be fwbs

Leman: well groomed. likes to feed you good food. more interested in his friends than you. braggart. surprisingly good at remembering important things and dates. 6/10 a thoughtful frat boy

Dorn: primarch most likely to indulge in a "shut up" ring. has emotions about you and literally tortures himself about it. claims he's controlled or whatever but he is an emotional time bomb. won't engage in relationship conversations. knows he's better than you. 3/10 dime a dozen in a philosophy class

Konrad: well fuck if he doesn't love you. believes in thought crime and possesses some moral OCD qualities. will trail bits of guts home. might accidentally kill you during a vision. he really does love you. swinging between obsession and apathy very quickly. 2/10 you knew what you were getting into

Sanguinius: afraid of you? (or of hurting you). half the time he has no energy for anything he gets off work (campaign) and lays down on the couch and doesn't answer his texts. impulsive. kind of incapable of turning "off". sad. tries to be sweet. 4/10 is he really interested in you?

Ferrus: throws tantrums. knows he's better than you and his legion knows it too. jokes about your weakness with a little too much regularity for it to feel like a joke. won't fix this if you express being upset about it. 1/10 /fit/ (4chan) regular

Angron: will kill you in his sleep. will cry about it. doesn't really think of himself as a complete person anymore and makes it the problem of everyone around him. doesn't want to date you and ruin you. won't even tell you his newest scheme for glorious combat based suicide. 1/10 he's not in a good place

Roboute: arrogant. busy. "I was a TA for a logic class-". says he's willing to communicate but leaves halfway through because something happened and doesn't pick it back up. will bring you to beautiful cliffside locales and spin you like a movie. 5/10 you are a side project

Mortarion: unwashed. kissing him will poison you. doesn't come to bed on time. appreciates you from a distance but does not pay much attention to you. would be very upset if something happened to you. his legion definitely thinks you're stupid. 1/10 he doesn't you he needs SSRIs

Magnus: knows better than you. horror movie protag's boyfriend who says it's just a joke as he reads the ancient texts from the creepy book. flaunts you around, he's very proud of you. either constantly asking what you want or completely dead to the world distracted in some project. 5/10 he will get you killed

Horus: lovebombing: the primarch. knows what he's about (sexual). more than a little self absorbed. occasionally loses his temper and then is very good about explaining it away until you feel bad. you are spoiled to hell. 4/10 emotionally abusive boyfriend with a magic aura

Lorgar: you are his world. his light. his life. he knows best and you should just do what he says. you will no longer be human but something higher (socially) (literally). gets so invested he lets other things fall to the wayside and it's kind of disastrous. 5/10 at least you're god

Vulkan: trying his best to actually respect you. occasionally fails. means to spend time with you and then gets wrapped up in duties and projects. cuddlemaster. cute relationship gestures. 7/10 your best option

Corvus: won't communicate. ghosts away when things get awkward. really random, overly intense opinions and he will slay you on those hills. busy. hypocrite. 1/10 teenager

Alpharius Omegon: either they're both in on this so they can use you or only one of them is in on this and the other one is plotting your death because this wasn't the plan. 1/10 actively dangerous

[heabitfruity]

Silly Hobbies: Primarch Edition

Apparently I wrote too much according to tumblr, so I'm sorry if it's choppy :[

Lion El'Johnson - He actually really loves analyzing "literature"; but not normal literature like Shakespeare or Kafka. He likes analyzing things like The U.S Constitution and The Treaty of Versailles. He does this because he thinks it will help him diplomatically (it doesn't, nobody gets why he does it otherwise, not even his sons).

Fulgrim - This man knows how to dance to every K-Pop song known to man. He can throw it back to "Baby Got Back" and has tried to teach Sanguinius and Ferrus Manus how (It didn't go well, Ferrus threw his back out ). This man knows the exact choreography to "Womanizer", "Nude" and so many other songs.

Perturabo - He likes making useless contraptions; like infomercial level sort of inventions. He has invented bread-dogs, a time-machine to go back exactly two seconds for each use, a voice-recording recorder, etc. He uses Dorn to test it out, despite their... feelings for one another. He knows that Dorn will give him a blunt answer; even if he is told that the invention is "stupid".

Jaghatai Khan - He's really good at acrobatics, specifically everything with the asymmetrical bars; this man could easily escape a pack of dogs with a pen in his pocket (If anyone gets this reference I will be so proud). He attempted to teach Angron how to do the basics, but it didn't go that well; the man is just simply not flexible enough yet.

Leman Russ - This is a secret that he will take to his grave because he suffers from major internal misogyny. He knows how to knit, and he's REALLY good. He grew up on a planet that is 75% of the time below zero, of course the second he got ahold of yarn and wool he got to making warm things for his marine-sons! However, he plays it off as things like: "the citizens of Fenris have donated these for our cause".

Rogal Dorn - He likes making massive forts, societies and various massive structures in Minecraft, with Legos, Lincoln Logs, and those small, ceramic Christmas towns. They're usually quite extensive, but not extravagant. He will pester Perturabo and Magnus to look at them, and this often leads to debates about how these civilizations would function.

Konrad Curze - He teaches cooking classes; however, they are not pleasant. At the end of meal prep, all students are covered in blood due to Konrad butchering whatever protein they had prepared. The food actually tastes amazing, however the process of making it is certainly a battle within itself. Sevatar is his sous chef, which means he frequently has to do most of the work that isn't butchering.

Sanguinius - Honestly, animal rehabilitation. I know this sounds absolutely odd, but due to him having wings, he has to know how to keep a healthy batch of feathers! He's excellent at bird handling, and actually really enjoys it. He's saved at least 54 birds (he doesn't get to find many, his sons typically try to steer him away).

Ferrus Manus - Dude actually makes some really mean jewelry; like the man makes the permanent ankle chains, ring engravements, earrings (with the help of Fulgrim). He's made a lot for his brothers like Leman, Fulgrim, Magnus, and the Khan. They're all very appreciative (though Ferrus has to make Leman a special mixture so he doesn't chew through it by accident).

Angron - He does extreme sports! It helps focus on something that doesn't direct his anger at things that he doesn't need to focus on. It's somewhat funny to think of him riding a BMX, but his absolute favorite is bungee-jumping! He has forced demanded that his sons and brothers try it to "toughen them up". However, nobody except Konrad wanted to. (They both had a great time! One of the few times they've actually bonded over anything.)

Guilliman - He enjoys grading papers... He enjoys signing up to grade the essays of AP classes on Terra and does it every year if he has the time. He takes the pleasure of learning things about literary merit from other people's perspectives, and every time it makes him consider becoming a professor (even though it would be highly impractical).

Mortarion - He enjoys escape rooms, especially with Konrad and Horus. They actually usually have a great time, though sometimes they have to stop Konrad from digging into the walls. He actually commissioned Perturabo to make an elaborate escape room with hatches and secret pathways all around a set of shipping containers. It was so fun that he actually decided to keep it. (He still discovers new routes and puzzles in it every time he goes in.)

Magnus the Red - He plays Dungeons and Dragons with Khan, Guilliman, Perturabo and Alpharius and Omegon. He ALWAYS is the Dungeon Master, no matter what. This is not because he is selfish and possessive (he is a little), but because nobody in the group can seem to maintain a regular gaming schedule. They have simply resorted to Magnus being the godly controller of their games.

Horus Lupercal - This man fishes. I'm sorry, he does the straight, white man fishing and poses. He takes pictures of the fish with the awkward raised arm but genuine smile. He sometimes gives the fish to Konrad, however, less so after finding out from his students what happens during his classes.

Lorgar Aurelian - He writes fanfiction. He likes to show Magnus and Horus his angsty stuff. This stuff is even enough to make Magnus cry a little. Lorgar, however, also writes smut. I believe that this man has never had the intimate touch of any person. Not because he's celibate, but because he's a bitch. The smut's written like in the early days of Wattpad. It's disastrously bad (Think "his meat-cicle entered her mound"). Leman found it one time, he tormented Lorgar for weeks with it.

Vulkan - He bakes! He has learned all the favorite sweets of all of his brothers, making sure to surprise them occasionally whenever they haven't spoken in a while. He loves it whenever there are big events, gives him a chance to see all of his brothers and see them enjoy his work. (There have been some small altercations due to people hoarding food)

Corvus - He likes fashion; but not in a New York fashion week way, more of an Edna from The Incredibles way. He uses the help of Ferrus and Leman to help sew cloaks, shape up boots, and they use Sanguinius and Fulgrim to model it to make sure it looks good and it works.

Alpharius Omegon - They like mimicking their brothers as much as possible; in a "try to look exactly like them" way. It is actually really impressive, even going past the uncanny valley vibe. This led to Mortarion walking in on two versions of himself standing at his bedroom door and it made him piss his pants; and nobody believed him when he told the rest of them.

[moodymisty]

I would like to throw Sanguinius into the “wants to hunt down his beloved to satiate his latent predatory instincts” arena (especially since he doesn’t indulge them nearly as often as Leman & Lion do, he needs to cut loose 🥴)

But ALSO… Horus wants to be so sugar daddy coded. He wants to actually have kids so not like your typical sugar daddy but he wants to provide for his beloved he wants to drown you in luxury and gifts. It gets him harder than tungsten carbide when he sees you looking dolled up to accompany him somewhere and he knows he bought every single thing you’re wearing (probably down to the underwear cuz we been knew he nasty like that lol). He didn’t just want to raise kids he wanted to occupy that perfect paternal figure archetype as a provider (because he has daddy issues that he “copes” with by trying to one-up Emps XD) and part of the perfect image of his future would probably include a spouse he would spoil and treasure like nobody’s business. This man lives for the constant adoration he gets so of course he wants to hear it from you. The thank yous and bashful looks as he hands you ANOTHER priceless piece of jewelry, mewling and moaning as he’s balls deep in you that you don’t NEED another fur shawl and how people will gossip. Let them talk, let every ear on Terra know the warmaster can and will provide only the finest of the fine things in this whole galaxy for you. Cuz that gets him off too XD

ALKJDFLJSDFLJSKDFOW4ITREHDFNB AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

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"Oh thank you! Warmaster Horus gifted it to me."

You've found yourself saying those words a lot lately, tumbling out of your mouth even before you realize you're saying them.

The dress you wore with sleeves billowing over your wrists, with a train that dusts across the floor is a gift from him, along with the jewelry you wore; The heels you have on are from Horus, custom made from the hide of an animal sourced from a recently annexed planet.

The lingerie you wear under your dress is from him as well- a bra, garter belt, panties and stockings all matching and delicate with lace and silk.

Horus had loved that gift of his in particular, shown in how gentle he was in assisting you while putting it on. And taking it off, now a moments later.

"It sounds like the primarch has quite the warchest, if he's lavishing you with so many gifts." You smile nervously, trying to laugh it off.

You know that despite the relatively simple nature of the comment, that it's implications are less so. There has been gossip going around, talking about Lupercal's spoiled little princess, his brat, and he's been on a manhunt to find the sources of all this talk.

He hasn't told you what he's going to do when he finds out who is nattering insults, which worries you more than a little.

"I keep telling him to stop, that he has thousands of men to feed, but he doesn't really listen."

They smile at you while you try and shrug off their comment, polite and insincere, but amicable enough. At least your response got them away from Horus' gifts.

It's a bit difficult to fend of prying questions about the Warmaster when he isn't around, as many lords and ladies are eager to know anything any everything that could give them a head up. They are all quite interested in the primarchs and their legions goings on, but Horus in particular is of much interest.

Only when you return to Horus' private Terran chambers can you breath, feeling the ache in your feet after so long in heels.

You're taking pins out of your hair when Horus returns, watching you put the pins in a little container before turning to him. He's in his casual war, a massive pelt draped over his shoulder ending right where the start of his baggy brown trousers begin.

"I apologize for missing you, I wish I could've gone but the Mournival had some urgent questions they needed answered." He glances over you, see how you've begun to get ready to settle down. "I hope it went well in my absence, at least." You nod.

"It did, don't worry."

He lets out a soft 'good' in response, but he's already getting down on his knee and pulling something from his trousers.

"I do have something for you. I was going to give it to you before we left, but I suppose I can gift it to you now as an apology for leaving you alone."

You watch as he opens a small box for you, and the shine instantly catches you attention.

They're earrings; Small, delicate and feature a beautiful teal gem as the centerpiece. Horus chuckles.

"You should put them on. I would help but, my hands are not suited for such tiny details."

You can't resist the urge to smile back as you take your current pair out, swapping them for Horus' new ones. He watches with interest the entire time, even as you glance in the large vanity mirror to see them.

"They're perfect Horus, thank you."

You lean forward to wrap your arms around his neck and give him a kiss to the cheek, your lipstick leaving a mark on his tanned skin.

"You always get me so much though, are you sure it's ok?" Horus laughs, a deep chesty laugh as he puts a hand on the small of your back and pulls you closer.

"Ok? Whatever do you mean?" You purse your lips.

"I just don't want you lavish me in all these things when you might be able to use that income for more important things." Horus lets out a softer, quieter laugh, kissing your forehead.

"My love, don't you worry about those things. I have them all handled." His other hand comes up to rest on your jawline, cradling it in his massive palm.

"I only wish to make sure you don't want for a single, solitary thing. If you want something, it is yours. I will make sure of it."

You smile at him, gentle and sweet. You love Horus so much, the feeling is palpable. You wish he wouldn't give you so much however, the gossip is becoming unmanageable. Each time you mention it however

Horus always shrugs it off, saying that they can gossip all they want- It only shows off just how well he takes care of you.

"Do you mind helping me with the buttons on the back of my dress? The handmaid helped me earlier but I think they're off cleaning."

Horus nods and gestures for you to turn around, unfastening the buttons at the nape of your neck. While they're small they aren't as small as the earrings, so he's able to manage the delicate task somewhat easily.

Farther down the trail of buttons eventually the shoulders slide off of you, and the dress pools at your feet.

"You wore it again today,"

Horus says while he looks over your back, and there's an unmistakable look in his eyes at the sight of his gifted lingerie. You turn around, unable to help the way you cross your arms across your stomach.

"It matched the dress, so I thought i would."

His hand drifts over your right thigh, up over the lace top of your stocking, before drifting up and over your hip. He leans inward to press his lips to your collarbone, before lowering to your sternum.

"I should get you another."

You stutter and try to decline his suddenly exclamation as his hands drift upwards, threatening to push your bra up over your breasts.

"Horus, I don't need another, please-"

He hums, and you can feel the vibration go through your chest.

"If you're going to wear it under your dresses then you need multiple, of course."

He's not going to budge on this, and his distractions of kissing your skin are working masterfully. A whimper leaves your throat as one of his hands slides to gently cradle your bottom, and his lips push up your skin to nip at the sensitive skin just below your ear.

"Then... Could you do it in silver? ...I miss the silver of your Luna Wolves regalia."

Horus chuckles, but unlike the one earlier that was so sweet, this one has far more rumble, deeper in his throat.

"Consider it done, my love."

[thevoidscreams]

For Mating March: what would you think each Primarch specific kink would be?

Gonna stick to one or two kinks each for this also I'm going based on vibes:

Lion: He will often take you where ever you are at the time, even if it's a risky place to do it.He doesn't get off on the idea of potentially being caught. He gets off on getting away with it. Fulgrim: He enjoys painting you and making an absolute mess out of the paint he put on you, by fucking you and then making a print by pressing you to a canvas. He has a collection of these.

Perturabo: He enjoys bondage but with really complicated devices. He also gets off on being praised and feeling valued, during the deed. Jaghatai Khan: What's to do you on his bike while riding. Also he doesn't pull out. You're getting the cream pie.

Leman Russ: Predator/Prey dynamics, he's giving you a ten minute head start to book it into the woods. Better make those ten minutes count cause when he catches you, you're gonna want to be far enough away that no one can hear what he's doing to you. (Unless you're into that)

Rogal Dorn: No guy who makes a full body pain glove is normal okay. He wants you to do your best to make him come while he tries to hold off as long as possible. Also maybe a bit of pain play. Konrad Curze: Blood play, knife play, also predator/prey dynamics but it'd gonna be a lot more dangerous for you when he finds you. He will however give you aftercare if he's in the right mindset.

Sanguinius: Body worship, it goes both ways, also praising. He may get a bit bitey sometimes also. Ferrus Manus: Pretty standard rough sex, a bit of breeding, sensory play involving temperature. Angron: You gotta restrain him, it's not even a kink at this point it's for your safety.

Roboute Guilliman: Breeding, also if you bring him things while he's working to give him little breaks and lots of love that gets him going. He just needs your love and support. That's the biggest turn on for him.

Mortarion: I feel like he enjoys a challenge, and if you tease him throughout the day he's not gonna show it but he's gonna be rock hard till he gets you in bed later. And then you'll get to see his famed endurance first hand.

Magnus: He enjoys having his ego stroked, and when you show off a bit of book smarts. Also rub him down with some body oil. Horus: He is a power top who gets off on being called Warmaster or Master in bed. He's also not opposed to taming you and making you submit to him.

Lorgar: You are his kink. If he's pursuing you then it doesn't matter what else is going on in bed. As long as it involves you. And maybe some genuine sentiments of love.

Vulkan: MATING in all caps. He's also gonna pound you on his anvil the same way he does a new weapon.

Corvus corax: He wants to find you, hide and seek style. Another one where you'd better hope you hid in a place far enough from other people. Also risky business in public, like making you sit on his knee while he rubs you off under the table.

Alpharius: He and Omegon like to share you. Both at the same time. Sex is never a private affair for those two.

[ms--lobotomy]

Hello! You've asked for promts, I will give you some

What about something general? Like confessing, reaction to hugs, first kiss?

You can write one of these. I really prefer if it will be for every primarch,but if you can't it's ok.

Sorry for my english, it's not my native language. Good luck!

hi anon! your english is wonderful, even as a native speaker i struggle sometimes haha. i'll do your first kiss with each primarch! i hope you like it :D

LION EL'JONSON- You had to initiate this one. Not because he wasn't interested, but because he genuinely could not tell how interested you were. "Lean down, please." His breath was hot on your face, and his expression was scrunched into one of confusion. You were finally close, you couldn't afford to mess it up now. You wrapped your arms around his neck and met his lips with yours. It took a few seconds for him to reciprocate, but when he did, he pressed you against the ground and began to take control.

???- You kissed them so well they faded out of existence. Oops. Or rather, good job?

FULGRIM- You were in bed together, laying on the finest silks the Imperium could produce. You were idly chatting about something unimportant, and there was a lull in the conversation. His features weren't exactly hardened to begin with, but you could see his expression soften as he took your face in his hands. He just looked at you for a second, before pulling you in for a slow kiss. You could feel him slip into your mouth, only slightly, as you melted in his hands.

PERTURABO- He crankily tinkered with a small machine. You had no idea a man so large could operate tools so small, but he kept surprising you as long as you knew him. "Surely you deserve a break, my lord," you said. "If only so you don't get burnt out." In a moment of tolerance, he picked you up and set you upon his lap, straddling him. His expression didn't change. But he wordlessly leaned down and pulled your face up, and you were locked in a kiss in a short moment of peace.

JAGHATAI KHAN- Remote locations. Grassy planets. Motorbikes. You'd become quite accustomed to these since you began your relationship with the Fifth. You'd stopped to make camp for the night and watched the stars come out, one by one. He put his arm around you, staring up alongside you. You sat there in silence for a while, before you felt him tilt your chin towards him. And before you knew it, his lips were on yours.

LEMAN RUSS- You were arguing. It was over something dumb, something like whether a straw has one or two holes. To make matters worse, it was in front of so. Many. Of his sons. Who were throwing their opinions in left and right. Right after you made your point, he grabbed your shirt with one hand and lifted you close to him with the other. The kiss was immediate, his lips were rough on yours.

ROGAL DORN- He was working on schematics for... something, and you were idly sitting in his lap, watching as he calculated incomprehensible numbers with nothing but pen and paper. He sighed, and scribbled some of them out before turning you around to face him. He buried his head in the crook of your neck and the two of you sat like that for a second before he worked kisses up from your neck to your lips.

KONRAD CURZE- He's so emotionally stunted, he went in for it at the worst. Possible. Time. After he had erected an effigy at the foot of your bed made of... skin and bones, maybe. Tactfully, you asked him if it could reside somewhere else. And then he knelt down, folded you in his arms and went in for the kiss. It was rough and unpracticed, but at least (?) it was genuine.

SANGUINIUS- He was in flight, with you under his arm. You were high enough that you could fall to your death if he dropped you, but his grip was firm. His wings were spread out and his feathers fluttered in the air. You tilted your head up to get a glimpse of your beloved, and you could feel the two of you diving down as he gave you a short but sweet kiss on the lips. You grabbed onto him as the ground approached quicker than what was comfortable, but he steadied himself and you stayed in the air.

FERRUS MANUS- He was busy at work on his next weapon. It was still comparable to a metal rod. He was concentrating, and you wanted to rile him up. So you asked him silly questions. "When would it be ready?" "Why did it look so... rodlike?" He sighed and put down his equipment and the red-hot weapon, at a stopping spot. He said nothing, yet stared at you with annoyance and something else you couldn't quite put your finger on. The kiss came as a surprise, and it was quick, and he got back to work after.

???- Never kissed anyone in their life, and never will.

ANGRON- Oh? You thought CURZE was emotionally stunted? Lol. LMAO. He was recounting his days in the arena to you as you held his hand. If words weren't enough to tell you how angry he really was, his eyes gave it away. You put a hand on his shoulder, something you had to contort yourself to do. He sighed and picked you up after finishing his sentence, gruffly mashing his face into yours. It wasn't much of a kiss, but you would learn together.

ROBOUTE GUILLIMAN- He called you into his office, with papers messily laying around his desk. You watched him pace around the room for a few seconds, his face a scarlet red, before he wordlessly grabbed your arm, cleared a space on his desk, and sat you upon it. You could see him tower over you, feel him tilt your chin up, and you knew that he was deliberating what to do for the final time before his lips slammed into yours.

MORTARION- It started with a hug. One that you had initiated, one that he had hardly expected. You could only wrap your arms around his waist at the highest. You looked up at him. You saw the beginnings of a glare on his face before his expression softened. He knelt down to your level and sighed, contemplating... something. He closed his eyes, his face coming ever so slightly closer to yours. You decided to seal the deal.

MAGNUS THE RED- It was on a private library date. You were looking at him, wondering if you should go in for it, while he was reading an unrelated book. He kept looking back up at you, though. Smirking at you. Toying with you. Your gazes met, and his smirk became a full on grin before he stood up suddenly. He scooped you up in his arms, brushing his lips across yours before he finally went in for it.

HORUS LUPERCAL- You were idly looking out into the stars, lost in thought. Before too much time had passed, though, you felt a heavy hand on your shoulder. You looked up to see Horus, who knelt down to your level. You thought that he was busy, but he must not have been. He lingered there for a moment, taking you in before an "I love you" escaped his lips. He grabbed your waist and pulled you in, pushing a slow kiss onto your lips.

LORGAR AURELIAN- The Urizen spoke of powers above him with religious fervor. Even in the privacy of your quarters, the words bled from him incessantly. The problem was, you were in bed with him and you were trying to sleep. He held you in front of him, and you turned to face him mid-sentence. And before that sentence ended, your lips were on his. He was stunned for a few seconds, but he returned the kiss.

VULKAN- The stove was a little high for you, but you'd decided to cook a nice meal for your lover regardless. You wanted to keep it a surprise, but his large figure appeared in the doorway before you could finish. You gasped, trying in vain to hide the act from him, but he laughed and knelt to your level anyways. His breath was warm on your face, and his kiss was even warmer.

CORVUS CORAX- You'd come to expect him out of the strangest places. His presence was comforting, even when you were unprepared for it. And unprepared you were, as he stepped out of the shadows while you were getting ready for the day. He looked you up and down for a few seconds, before pulling you in for a passionate kiss.

ALPHARIUS OMEGON- You weren't sure whether this was Alpharius or Omegon, but you knew that he was one of the two because he was slightly taller than the average space marine. It became a game you played with yourself. While he was talking with you, you tried to discern which brother you were talking to. You were right... half of the time. While you were staring and thinking, he planted a quick kiss on your lips. You were too stunned to make a guess.

[sharenadraculea]

Fem!Primarch Au Ideas

Lion El‘Jonson: Is sligthly better at social stuff. Which might just be that it‘s more socially more acceptable on Caliban for a unmarried woman to refuse to speak to men. Officially spends most of her time telling Luther what to say and letting him do the social things. Unofficially has a crossdressing knight-persona to go out and do stuff. It took E like three days to figure out that that knight and Lion are in fact the same person. Might keep the knight-persona even after beeing found. Also she had a habit of sending all suitors on impossible quests in Caliban‘s forests where they would painfully die.

Fulgrim: Chemos has little to no genders. Either you can work or you are dead, what‘s in your pants doesn‘t really matter. Anyways, then Fulgrim get‘s discovered, introduced to the concept of gender and is now very anxious about performing gender expectations correctly. It isn‘t working very well. Guess who might not actually be a woman

Perturabo: Kind of got attic-daugthered by Dammekos, because of course all of that were his ideas, not the ones of a little girl. Perty is not amused by this. She later is in possesion of at least half the warcrime‘s squad braincells (the warcrime squad is a found family thing Angron, Sang, Perty and Konrad have going on), provides all the artillery support for them and is the main Konrad-handler (after Fulgrim of course). I haven‘t yet decided how much they are kissing.

Jaghatai Khan: Something, something crossdressing. Might kiss Morty. That‘s all my notes so far.

Leman Russ: I‘m really not yet sure what to do with Leman, because I could just do some purely cosmetic changes and it would be fine enough. But also I could do some really drastic changes… for example if I remember correctly in viking culture (which is what I‘m going off for Leman) magic was seen as a womens thing so you know ice-witch Leman would be fun

Konrad Curze: Still wondering if gender is something you can eat. Mostly cosmetic changes, but they are a bit more mentally stable due to the support of the warcrime-squad. I‘m considering giving Konrad a decently bad case of has-the-voice-of-a-little-kid, because that would be pretty creepy.

Sanguinius: I‘m going with the „Sanguinus was a slave as a child“-headcanon I‘ve seen in multiple fics and really like. So Sang had some pretty dark stuff happen to her and overall ends up beeing much less nice and more angry, the vibe is „Vampire warlord collecting the heads of her enemies“ and I love it a lot.

Angron: Is still Angron, no big changes here except she and Sang are kind of a couple

Roboute Guilliman: Had to spend a significant of time arguing over beeing allowed into politics directly (instead of doing the proper thing of marrying some old guy, puppeting him from behind the scenes and cashing in on the inheritence). Also Konor is still alive in this au, since Rob happend to be in the senate that day and carrying a hidden sword for entierly non nefarious reasons.

Mortarion: So Calas Typhon‘s mother was drowned for having a child with a overlord (presumably not voluntarely). If people start to suspect something similar happend to Morty, it‘s gonna be very good that Primarchs are very hard to kill. Especially if people don‘t take „there never was a child“ for a answer for where the nonexistent kid is, and start spreading rumors that Morty killed or abandoned it.

And I don‘t yet really have much or anything at all for the rest, so Rogal Dorn, Ferrus Manus, Magnus, Horus, Lorgar, Vulkan, Corvus and Alpharius Omegon, but feel free to give me some ideas

[angronsjewelbeetle]

Hello! I really like you're work, so I want to make a request! Can you please write first kiss with primarch? Or first confession?

-🐉

WHAJDKGJDN TYSM 🥰🥰 you're so kind! I think I'll come back and write the confessions later when I get a bit more confidence - those will be longer after all, I like a bit of lorebuilding, so for now, kisses 💋

EDIT: pt II here

First kisses with the Primarchs ~♡ Pt. 1

Includes: Konrad, Rogal, Leman, Khan, Perturabo, Fulgrim, Lion

I bit off more than I could chew on this one whoops, but I refuse to not do it so...it'll be in a couple of parts. It'll be done by tomorrow if I can, and by 02/05/24 if I can't.

Lion: You offer him a little smile as you squeeze his hand, his expression remains stoic as ever, but his eyes gain something you don’t recognise. And then, all at once, he’s on one knee before you, a hand cupping the side of your face and tilting it upwards to meet him. It’s awkward and a little stiff, and both of your eyes are open. His beard kind of tickles and his gaze is unnerving as he stares right into you, but his lips are soft, if not a little chapped, and he holds his position for a minute before pulling away and standing up, right as someone enters the room. 

Fulgrim: He’s warm and smells strongly of lavender oil, his hair is a damp curtain against his shoulders, full of stray curls as you dry it for him, his eyes are shut and he looks at peace, despite being sprawled somewhat awkwardly against his bed so you can reach him properly. Discarding the towel over the end of the bed to deal with later, you reach up again to run his brush through silvery locks and to your surprise, end up with soft lips against yours and a calloused hand cupping your cheek. You’re breathless by the end of it, and so is he. 

Perturabo: It’s hardly a kiss, really - or, the first one isn't. It’s a light brush of his lips against yours - it’s a copout and you tell him so, frowning. Did he not want to kiss you? Was there something wrong? But - his cheeks are burning a fiery red, eyes fierce as he scowls at you and licks his lips, muttering something under his breath, you barely catch the tail end of “I’ll show you,” before his face is against yours. His lips are chapped and the kiss itself is hard and quick, and he leaves your lips wet with his own saliva as he pulls away.

Khan: His heartbeats thump steadily against your ear as you lay together; it’s early, close to dawn, and you’re both wrapped in furs as you watch the very first slivers of sun peek over the horizon through the tent flaps. It’s a beautiful sight, and Jaghatai gives you a warm smile when you murmur as much, wrapping an arm around your waist. He bends down a bit, presumably to kiss your forehead as he so often does in the mornings, but you tilt your head up and catch his lips with yours. They’re warm and dry and yeah, his morning breath is a bit…eh, but it’s a sweet kiss overall, and by the time you’re pulling away, the sun has turned the skies to a rainbow of pastels.

Leman: He’s endlessly warm and his arm is comfortingly but constrictingly heavy around your back as you lay together, having just recently awoken pressed into his side like he was trying to affectionately suffocate you. His chest rumbles with a sleepy grunt as his eyes crack open to watch you squirm away from his furnace-like heat. Unfortunately, your attempts to get your personal space back are thwarted by him rolling to you and shifting down on the bed to press his face into yours in what you think? Is a kiss? It’s a little hard to tell when it seems like he’s trying to inhale your face, but his lips are definitely against yours, warm and plush and wet with saliva. He pulls away eventually, leaving you rather breathless and him sleepily smug as he rolls back over and goes back to sleep. 

Rogal: He’s sitting there on his knees, head tilted towards you and body as stiff as a board as you fish the whatever it was from his hair, he doesn’t move until you tell him you’ve got it, and even then, he stays on his knees. He drops his shoulders suddenly and presses his cool lips against yours, his eyes are closed, brow furrowed like he’s wincing and you vaguely feel like you’re kissing a statue - you raise your hands to cup his cheeks and quietly think to yourself he feels a bit like warm marble as he pulls away, ears and cheeks dusted pink as he clears his throat. 

Konrad: He’s kneeling by your bedside, elbows resting on it as he watches you get dressed in your nightclothes and then get into bed - which proves to be a somewhat difficult feat, what with him refusing to move his bony elbows off the covers. You sit against the pillows and reach for the book on your nightstand - you can’t quite reach, and huff out a sigh. “Could you- uh,” you begin a little awkwardly, waggling your fingers at the book. Konrad shifts, reaching over to pick it up, he offers it to you as you go to take it from him. Your elbow slips and all of a sudden your forehead thunks against his and he makes a surprised grunt, dark eyes staring into yours for a long moment before he tilts his chin up awkwardly and oh- oh, he’s kissing you. You can feel the scars on his dry lips for a brief moment before he pulls away and you land most ungracefully face-first on the bed.

[lemon-russ]

Saw an anon send an ask to @moodymisty and I was overcome with a need to make this.

(Part 1 of) Rating how good of a father each primarch would be:

Lion- 6/10

You'd think it'd be lower but like a Lion he's actually good with playing with them even though he feigns disinterest. He's the kind of dad to bring them out in the woods without saying a word, hand them a bolter and point at an animal to teach them to shoot and hunt. He acts like they are annoying him but always has reasons he wants to go teach them something. When they're babies he does the thing where he pretends they've gravely wounded him when they run at him, flopping over on the floor and going "oh ow ouch you got me."

Not emotionally available, though. And very little patience for their bullshit when they are older. But always protective from afar and always will fight anyone who disrespects them. His kids love him but are constantly like "Sorry about my Dad I don't know why he's like this" Kind of embarrassed by him, but they know he loves them in his own way.

Fulgrim- 4/10

They're never going to live up to his expectations. He tries to be supportive and encouraging, but he can't shake the want for them to be better. They are a chronic overachiever, and he tells them yes, that's wonderful, but maybe if you tried just a little harder, you'd have done even better? He isn't trying to be cruel, but he can't help himself. He loves his kid, but they live with the pressure of never being good enough. He tries to help by enrolling them in way too many extracurriculars.

His kids love him but feel like they are failing him and want to be better. They want to make him proud. He never belittles them or says anything against them, but they want him to be really actually proud of them.

Perturabo- 1/10

Have you ever seen how narcissist parents are? His kids aren't good enough. Unlike Fulgrim, he doesn't pretend they are for their sake. He compares them constantly to their cousins, Dorn's kids. Why aren't they better than their cousins? They are, of course, he will tell anyone. Of course, his kids are the best. But in private, he resents them for being another chip against his reputation. They are supposed to be like him, and he is perfect. By being imperfect, they are insulting him. Why is everything he makes imperfect? Also, bad temper, obviously.

His kids hate him or are terrified of him, and constantly under pressure to do better. Excel in everything but never think they are good at anything.

Khan- 2/10

Absentee father of hundreds. Doesn't hate his kids, just prefers his freedom. Occasionally will find one, bring them on bike ride to give them a talk about life, then they don't see him again. Not mean, just not there.

His kids opinion of him ranges from "who?" To "I met him once, he was fine I guess." Their mothers are taken care of at least.

Leman Russ- 8/10 (yes I'm biased idc)

Loves being a Dad, loves his kids, loves his wife. Loves making kids. The whole Legion takes care of the kids and helps raise them. Only things that go wrong is Leman isn't super emotionally sensitive, and can be a little harsh on his kids when they're older. But otherwise loves hanging out with them, often steals them away to bring them with him while he works. Baby strapped to his chest and toddler in his sholders while he's making war plans. Showing his older kids what he's doing while he's planning out attacks. Taking the whole kaboodle out for a day to play in the forests with his fenrisian wolves.

Genuinely believes they are the best and can do no wrong, will fight anyone who suggests they aren't great. Privately will correct them if they really mess up, but has a blind spot for them, so they can be a little spoiled. Plus there's like 12 of them if he has his way so some don't get all the attention they need.

His kids adore him and are happy as clams, if not a little spoiled and have a bit of attitude.

(Will do part 2 later)

[lxvvie]

So as I was writing and getting requests done, I had a thought: how about we take that trend I did with Call of Duty and apply it to your favorite primarchs? This begs the question: How would your dearly beloved primarchs react if you called them by their full name... because of reasons?

Horus - Hits you with one of his most dazzling smiles. It's too dazzling, which lets you know that Horus got into some shit. You question him and he gives you a vague answer while still smiling.

Leman Russ - You and he both know he's been up to no good so he'll either proposition you or make sure he's not in the vicinity to hear you call his name lmao.

Ferrus Manus - Instantly stops whatever it is he's doing; contemplates a response and ultimately decides to make himself scarce somewhere else.

Fulgrim - Is affronted that you'd call his name with such... irreverence. Will actually ignore you. Bastard.

Vulkan - Will also stop what he's doing and answer your call just as fervently as you called him. Has a tendency to resort to hugs to placate you. Those hugs are amazing, though... You can never stay mad at him for too long.

Rogal Dorn - Responds by calling you by your full name. With no intonation. Smart ass.

Roboute Guilliman - Will give some bullshit explanation while multi-tasking that would make Horus proud as to why he got into shit and how said shit has been resolved. May or may not work depending.

Magnus - It becomes a staring contest because you want him to give you an answer and he's trying to figure out why you called him.

Sanguinius - His foresight never prepares him for the way you say his name. Would put on his best saccharine smile that Horus would also be proud of but it's ineffective because his wings usually give him away.

Lion El'Jonson - Gives no fucks. Save for a quick glance will refuse to acknowledge your call. Because of reasons that have nothing to do with the fact that he's in deep shit.

Perturabo - Will pretty much stomp his way to you and get eye-level with you with a sneer. "Why do you call me?" A battle of wills and glares ensues.

Mortarion - Will look down on you, literally and figuratively.

Lorgar - Is the one who puts Horus and Sanguinius to shame because he ALWAYS placates you. ALWAYS. It never fails. But this is after he's winced and bowed his head some, even though he towers over you.

Jaghatai Khan - Gotta catch him first to find out lmao.

Konrad Curze - Results may vary. Might even hear some gremlin screeching... er, do you really wanna know?

Angron - Smirks and chuckles because he most certainly did some shit and he's practically begging you to say something about it.

Corvus Corax - May or may not be repentant, depending on the severity. Also may or may not make himself known but an effort was made, I suppose.

Alpharius - You're better off wondering what it is he didn't do. Whenever he comes, you're left wondering if that's the real Alpharius or if he sent a proxy like the last couple of times.

[mothiir]

I don't really know how to phrase this well but which primarchs (aside from horus) wouldn't want their cum to be wasted. Like, it needs to inside of you no matter what. Cunt, ass, mouth, as long as it's inside.

hahahaha ah this is an age old question. thoughts below the cut because im basically just talking about jizz

So, I think a lot of the Primarchs art more concerned with cum staying on their partner than in. Perturabo would cum all over you every morning if that was an option. His response to mild inconveniences is ‘i am going to go and bukkake my serf to feel better’.

Leman Russ I feel could go either way; he has a massive scent kink, and wants you to smell of him 25/7, and so jizzing on your face fufills this desire quite nicely. However, when you’re ovulating — and Emperor-forbid you’re fertile — he gets really intense with it. It goes inside. It stays inside. He fucks your throat but pulls out to cum in your cunt. He gets all worked up and yanks you into his lap with very little prep. Even if you’re not actively trying for a child, he’s all wolf instinct and his brain is basically screaming: mate fertile, cum inside mate.

Fulgrim will feed you his cum. It’s less about breeding, more about the fact that obviously his cum belongs inside you — that’s just the perfect place for it. After he fucks you, he’ll sit you on his lap and gather it up on his fingers as it drips down your thighs, and scoop it onto your tongue, cooing about how you need to clean up.

The Lion, when you first fuck him, is a massive virgin with no idea what he likes, only that you are tight and warm and being inside you feels fantastic. Since he is a feral mess of a man, he probably ends up cumming on your face by accident, then realises that he quite likes that — then ten seconds later as he pushes the cum into your mouth, because it seems the best way to clean up, he realises that he likes this even more. It’s inevitable that he ends up dripping cum on the floor, then looking at it, looking at you, then at the cum — you can almost see the gears turning. He’ll grab your hair, push your face towards the puddle, tell you to lick it up and stop being so messy.

Dorn knows his seed belongs inside. It is basic siege tactics. No point in achieving an objective if you cannot occupy it completely.

[bbrokenbback]

Hairstyle hcs time!

So recently ive been thinking what if all of those bald-ass primarchs actually had visited a hairdresser of some sort at least once in their lives instead of taking a razor and getting rid of all their hair. And also what if other who canonically have hair had something actually good on their heads instead of just going in a fight with flowing hair of theirs and idk being tugged on it by some warboss of whatever.

So there it.

I. Lion ElJonson. I think he should have had some sort of braids and it is also going to be probably just as loose and messy as it is in the picture since you know he likes a mele fighting.

2. Let him stay bald.

3. Fulgrim. Canonically hes already got the best hairstyle of all of his brothers but i think there must be something that would fit him best and also be a little more practical in a mele sword fight than having loose hair. I sadly havent found a male reference but it doesnt matter. So i would give Fulgrim a neat ponytail with a band probably made out of his own hair. Its practical, it shows how good hes hair is, its beautiful, its everything we need.

4. Perturabo. Hes focused a little too much on a practical side of things so i think if he had hair he would collect it into a bun. Not so neat since he does not really care about hair at all and it gets messy with time cause he just makes it in the morning and does not correct anything about it till the time he goes to sleep again unless the bun collapses. I also think he would have slightly curly hair because well greek. It also charcoal black.

5. Jaghatai Khan. Hes allowed to have messy hair because hes the definition of a mess himself and he messes around and pls stop me. I think his hairstyle is required to be a little more loose than its in canon because i dont think that a person like him would actually care about keeping his hair neat. Although i see him having a little ponytail on the back of his head the hair itself is just to short to be collected in one scrunchy.

6. Leman Russ. It was too easy to find lots of scandinavian kind of hairtyle references so there we have it: shaved sides with long braids going from the top of the head which is sometimes collected in a bun and sometimes not. Hairstyle had quite a meaning in the northen contries so i think hes the unexpected one to actually care about his hair and making his little braids. It must be some sort of a ritural for him.

7. Rogal Dorn. I honestly cannot see him with hair any longer than hes got in canon. Actually I see him as a person who would like it to be even shorter because you know another guy whos focused on practical stuff too much. He does not really care about hairstyle so his head is always neat but with nothing fancy or special. Hes hair looks like hes just gotten out of the army and is trying to grow it up but fails and cuts it short.

BUT i think he cares about his hair condition a lot because its quite hard to have a clear white hair when you are in constant war. Hes got plenty of purple shampoos to get rid of that annoying yellowness in his hair. One of the few of the primarch to actually use conditioner so altough his hair is short its the softes and the silkiest of all.

8. Konrad Curze. This was a difficult one actually. Most of his hairstyle habits disappear the moment he exits the Prime of Emperor after he finished his Fulgrims degree. And when he had any kind of hairstyle at all it was mostly made by Fulgrim himself so Konrad does not look like a junk rat while walking on his flagship.

I can imagine Fulgrim making poor Konrad having the worst and the most difficult hairstyle ever so he does not unbraid it himself or gets too frustrated by the structure before he finishes it. Maybe something that in M2 was popular among brides, all those hairstyle that requires at least two people to make it work on a head. Increadibly neat and shiny and silky though Konrad does not like it at all. Hes head is itchy hes eyes are pulled in two different direction because of how strong the tension on his temples is.

However Konrad does not shave his head bald out of protest. He just endures his fates.

9. Sanguinius. His hair must be so hard to work with because hes got the curliest of all curls so I think it would take a lot of time for him alone to make something of it properly. Thankfully hes got his sons who are all happy to help their dad with his hair and would probably fight each other for a chance to do so because its considered an honour.

He needs something that is strong enough to not fall apart during his flights and also beautiful so I decided it to be a head-circling braid or a few of them. It is held my several hidden hairpins and from outside it looks rather magical than real because of how good its made. His curls although are almost unnoticable.

10. Ferrus Manus. There is not that much to say about his hair outside of it being a total mess all of the time no matter how long or short it is. His hair must be very dry and so straight that it would never touch Fulgrimg stay in any kind of shape and will stick out in all possible directions like hes not a primarch but a hedgehog. If his hair ever grows up more than shoulder lenght it would look spiky.

Also no idea who the character is but his hair fits and also a little beard is something I can see Ferrus having.

11. Cut of his head while shaving it. Deserved.

12. Angron. Ive seen it somewhere as a canon fact but his hair must be red. So hes a redhead! Its cute! Since he was a gladiator there is not so much of things that he might have done with his hair so he would probably just keep it short. It wouldnt get too dirty in fights, practical and not as ugly as a bald head. Simple though not so neat because I think its kinda hard to wash it while being a slave.

Since hes got nails I think he would always have bristle because its hard to shave when you twitch all the time.

13. Roboute Guilliman. I do not know why hes hair is not curly since hes a walking reference to the Roman Empire. Anyway there is not so much to say about him too but I think hes really into accessories. Flower crowns, lauren wreathes, all that kind of stuff. Simple things like little golden leaves as hairpins too.

I also think that in 41M hes wreath hurts him because it has sharp leaves and is spiky in general so hes got little wounds on his temples all the time which sometimes bleed dirtying his hair and making him look even more like a figure of faith.

14. Mortarion. Hes hair is white or rahter colorless and very thin, also its very brittle considering all the toxic stuff hes met on his homeworld and also his casual habit of taking a glass or two of literal moonshine of his own making which is rather a promethium to human body than an actual drink. Since his hair is thin and brittle I think his hairstyle would be very uneven although he would still keep it long rather than shoulder or temple lenght. He lenght is different on every side of his head but somehow he does not look like a mess of a man who cannot take care of his own hair but rather like a fairy moth.

15. Magnus the Red. Hes a literal shapeshifter so he doesnt really care about whether his hair gets cut off or burnt during a fight or not because he can always grow it back in a minute using his warp magic. Although he still would need a hairstyle to attend some official meetings with humans or his brothers so this is it. I have no idea how to call it but with the hair of his it would look so great. It might appear to others like kinda messy but actually it is not and for Prospero where I can see this hairstyle to be quite traditional its very neatly made. Hes also into accessories like Roboute but for him its rather thin chains, strings and necklaces.

16. Horus Lupercal. Somewhere Ive read that hes got canonically red hair too so be it. Hes a redhead. If he wasnt bald he would have a short military hairstyle. Hes hair is straight, thick and healthy in every way though he does not do much to it. Hes got no actual hairstyle but hes very into royal kind of accessories. Crowns. wreathes, tiaras and diadems of all sorts. Nothing too extra like those gigantic russian crowns since he considers himself to be a rather warrior type of king. Its still too much in comparison to his other brothers.

17. Lorgar Aurelian. I think his hair is just like the Emperors because hes always compared to Him in terms of appearance. Brown. straight but not messy, very heavy. If he wasnt bald he would keep it long, much longer than his shoulders, probably to his waist. The hairstyle is simple yet sometimes quite excessive. Little braids with rings and chains of gold braided into them, sometimes with no braids at all and just the accessories put straight onto strands. And there is always a little too much of them than its required. Just as Sanguinius allows his sons to take care of his hair sometimes with braiding and washing it although it mostly Erebus and Kor Phaerons job.

18. Vulkan. Hes getting dreads since it was quite obvoius but its not that simple. I think on Nocturne its very important to keep you hair clean out of all that vulcanic junk that atmosphere is full of and dreads make it much easier to manage. The way it looks, amount of added colours and accessories is the way of showing a status of a person. Since Vulkan is a primarch his dreads would be very colorful and full of small details such as hollow gems, beads, tapes and belts. There must be lots of pieces of dragons` skin too. Its also very practical because a bun of dreads makes it much easier to work in a forge with long hair considering all the sweat and dirt.

19. Corvus Corax. I dont think hes the kind of a person who would put too much effort in his looks but its different with hair. Since hes got very thick hair and its canonically long I think he might grow it even longer and experiment with it a lot. There is a different hairstyle for fight, for meetings with humans, his brothers and his sons, for each and every special occasion. But i think he would prefer ponytails the because its simple, practical and still looks coold with that hair of his.

20. Alpharius and Omegon. Matching hairstyle. I havent found a reference pic for this one that would fit the vibe of the two of them. Its just crazy matching haistyles. Pink waist long dreads? They both got it. Blue quads with a shaved side? They are mirrorying each other. The older they get the more interesting it gets.

[horuslupercal]

do babies like this primarch?

Lion: yes. I want you to imagine him picking up a random baby (abandoned on a planet or whatever, make up whatever situation you want as long as it beings you to the mental image of:) and making the most pensive bordering on displeased face. he's holding the baby like a live explosive while they just smile and giggle about it

Fulgrim: yes. Fulgrim, for his part, likes babies as a concept but he does not like holding them on account of them treating him like a giant mobile, complete with yanking his hair. he's happy to just observe the next generation from a safe distance

Perturabo: no. he doesn't like them either so it works out well. don't bring it near him, they'll both be happier that way. will stare at you so hard you cry if you try to hand him a baby

Khan: they're kind of neutral on him until he starts pulling faces when no one's looking and then they're all about it. he doesn't really care about holding them or anything but he's good at holding babies if you hand them over -- do not let this trick you into thinking he knows how to care for a baby. he's clueless

Leman: babies are neutral on him, leaning towards dislike. toddlers though? toddlers love him. toddlers have correctly vibe checked him as a guy who will throw them exactly as high in the air as they want (read: very high) and always catch them

Dorn: not really but if you hand him a baby, they WILL fall asleep. he's warm, his hearts are very loud, he holds them very securely, and they love it, even if they're initially not very happy about it. that said he doesn't really want to hold your baby, even if he won't complain about it. why do people keep handing him babies?

Konrad: there's probably an AU where they do but in HH, no way. even when he's well groomed and all, he's got the whole "filed teeth, starved rat" thing going on and they do not dig it. he doesn't want to hold your baby either so this works out well

Sanguinius: nope. he's too shiny and bright and the wings are offputting. toddlers will pull on his feathers, babies will experience the instinctual fear of being eaten by an eagle. secretly this is kind of a relief, cause Sanguinius is not all too big on babies either

Ferrus: yeah. he thinks it's funny and he especially thinks it's funny that they'll pull the hair and earrings of a man Fulgrim's size. such bold little things. he will not hold the baby though, don't you see his much more social brothers over there?

Angron: children used to love Angron but now they are (rightfully) very scared of him and it is funnysad to me if babies haven't gotten that memo yet. Angron likes babies; he will not like you if you try to hand him one.

Guilliman: yeah sure. that's just a big guy. he can give them a politician kiss without complaint and he's got a surprising skill, for a guy who rarely interacts with them, for soothing them when they're upset

Mortarion: no, absolutely not, no. they don't know he's a person because of the mask. you should not let him hold a baby because of the mask. he does not want to hold your baby. no one is happy here

Magnus: no. he could build a rapport with a baby and especially a toddler but upon first contact, the whole Psyker Vibes thing just makes them hate him. squirming and crying, the works. he's kind of sad about it. sidenote he was definitely helping deliver babies on Prospero on account of his biomancy

Horus: babies hate him and it is the saddest thing in the world. he wants to hold your baby. he will make all the appropriate cooing nosies at the baby. he's fully prepared to talk to them like a little person and wiggle their hands. the baby is gonna wail and push his face away with all the strength in their little arms when he tries to give them a kiss like a proper politician.

Lorgar: baby catnip. he's the most photogenic Primarch, there is not a single picture where he does not look at his best, and that includes all of the pictures of him blessing a baby and/or giving them a kiss. this is useful cause people keep asking him to bless their babies and the baby is sooooo happy about Lorgar holding them. and they looooove to stare at him

Vulkan: I'm legitimately torn but I lean towards babies liking him, which is good, cause Vulkan definitely likes babies and hearing about their milestones and about toddler's little escapades. also cause it's fun to imagine this also extending to nonhuman (read: eldar) babies so he can experience the worst emotions in his life

Corvus: no but at least they usually won't cry about it. you hand him a baby and they just freeze up until you take them back. he doesn't know what to do with babies either. congrats, please don't make him interact with them

Alpharius Omegon: oh yeah. it's inexplicable but babies just like being around them and staring at them. neither of them knows how to handle a baby. I can also envision one of them standing around making small talk to a toddler exactly like they would to an adult, which toddlers LOVE

[sleepyfan-blog]

I VERY DESPERATELY NEED/Want Baby Primarch Mers. So Badly. PLEASE!

Ok! I"ll go down the list

1 - Lion - So, the temptation to make him part lionfish is incredible here. There's also the fact that IRL Lionfish are a huge problem in certain parts of the world because they are an invasive species in those areas, as well as incredibly deadly because of their poisonous spines. And considering how deadly Lion and his sons can be... Yeah, I think he's part lionfish. Specifically he has a deep green tail with silver stripes. His spines are black and gold and hold incredibly potent poisons.

2- ??? [REDACTED BY THE ORDER OF THE EMPEROR]]

3- Fulgrim - He is part Coral Beauty Angelfish, and has a beautiful purple tail that fades into a vibrant yellow color. Coral beauties (at least according to the quick google search I did about them) are an incredibly hardy salt water fish, and known for their vibrant colorations.

4 - Perturabo - is part Cabezon - which are known for being Stubborn Bastard Fish who Refuse To Move until they get their next meal, willing to wait days and even weeks before they get their next meal. Which is often other fish, which I feel fits Peter turbo pretty well. He has a pleated tail and fins that are a mottled steel and black color, with the occasional yellow stripe.

5 - Jaghatai - is part Sailfish - which are allegedly one of the fastest fish in the world IRL. He has a bright white tail with red stripes. His fins are also white with red stripes.

6 - Leman - is part Piranha. Not only are Piranhas highly predatory, they also are species of fish that school together. Like how Space Wolves almost always stick together in packs. Also, he still has fangs in this AU. His tail and fins are a lovely slate grey color with an iridescent shine to them.

7 - Rogal - part greenland shark! Cold adapted predator of the sea. Doesn't look like much but is an apex predator in the seas it lives in. He has gorgeous golden fins and tails with black spots.

8 - Konrad - part goblin shark. I didn't pick it just because of the name, but because it is a deep water shark (lives in darkness, just like a certain edgy primarch) that is rarely seen by humans. And. Well. Most humans who saw Konrad didn't exactly live to tell about it, did they? He has a deep blue tail and fins that are surprisingly slender. But powerful and he has a hell of a bite and many, many pointy teeth.

9 - Sanguinius - He has a beautiful silver tail and fin-like wings, as his mer-half is flying fish! Although I was super tempted to make him part-lamprey because of the blood-sucking aspect of him.

10 -  Ferrus - as per the suggestions of @angronsjewelbeetle @c-u-c-koo-4-40k and @i-am-a-dragon34 Ferrus is now part Dunkleostous, with dark grey fins and tail on his dorsal side and a silvery ventral side.

11 - ?? [REDACTED BY THE ORDER OF THE EMPEROR]

12 - Angron - part betta fish. He has striking red and gold fins and tail and will square the fuck up if the mood strikes.

13 - Roboute - there is a big temptation to go for the Ultramarlin pun, but I won't give in. What I am going with is part Ribbon Eel, as they have this really lovely blue body with bright yellow dorsal and ventral stripes that go all the way down their bodies. That and G-Man having a long tail to thwap his brothers with makes me giggle.

14 - Mortarion - part pufferfish. Prickly, defensive and poisonous. Can and will puff up. Has grey fins and tail with dark green spots. Spiny.

15 - Magnus: I am torn between making him part carp - because of the Japanese (I think?) myth about a carp jumping up a waterfall in order to become a dragon - which hints at Magnus' incredibly powerful warp abilities or an Abtu, which is a mythical ancient Egyptian fish, because Space Egypt. Thoughts? Opinions?

16 - Horus: Is part dolphin. Known for being very charismatic and charming, but can and will bully other kinds of sea life. Baby-Horus has a deep green tail with gold markings.

17 - Lorgar - I love the Parrot Fish pun suggestion by @c-u-c-koo-4-40k so that is what I am going with. His fins and tail are a deep red color with a silver shimmer to them.

18 - Vulcan - another excellent suggestion by @c-u-c-koo-4-40k for making one of the primarchs part barracuda! I have decided on Vulcan, rather than Magnus. Vulcan’s dorsal fins and tail are a deep green color, the ventral side is black. Along the middle where the two colors meet, he had gold spots.

19 - Corvus: Part of me wants to make Corvus either some kind of shark, or angler fish bc of his whole "sworn vengeance and eternally hunting after Lorgar post-heresy" thing but. Big E is also a being who loves himself some aesthetics and I don't think a part-angler fish boy would fit that. Perhaps part black-tipped shark bc of their stealthiness. Thoughts?

20 - Alpharius and Omegon: are color-pallet changed blue-ring octopi. Instead of a yellow body with bright blue rings, they have vibrant teal tentacles with bright silver ring-patterns across their tentacles and up the fishy parts of their bodies.

@egrets-not-regrets @the-pure-angel

[moodymisty]

What kind of nicknames/titles do you think each Primarch's wife would get?

There's some that all the wives share, just adjusted to fit with their husband. Lady of [primarch's planet]. Lady of the [Legion name]. And if the primarch is one with a last name, she uses her husband's last name. (Lady Guilliman, Lady Lupercal, Lady Aurelian, etc)

But most/all of the wives would have nicknames/titles unique to them.

Magnus's wife could be called the Red Lady.

Konrad's wife could be called Lady of the Night, but that's also an euphemism for a prostitute, so maybe not. I don't think any Primarch, especially Konrad, would like someone else calling their wife a slut.

Since the Primarchs presumably didn't know about Alpharius and Omegon being twins, they probably assume Omegon is Alpharius's last name. So their shared wife would be called Lady Omegon, which would please the actual Omegon greatly. He may only be able to be with her in public as Alpharius, but she is his Lady. It's a way for both brothers to show their claim over her. She's Alpharius's wife, Lady Omegon.

If a Primarch has a title/nickname that's Lord of [X] or the [X] Lord (like Perturabo being the Lord of Iron), she could be called the Lady of [X]/the [X] Lady (Perturabo's wife being the Lady of Iron)

I added all the ones I think since i imagine that not all of them would use the same default titles. Other people feel free to add!

Lion El'Jonson:

Beginning of relationship: Woman, Lion’s woman

Farther into relationship: Lady of the Dark Angels, but it’s usually rarely

Roboute Guilliman:

Lady Guilliman, Lady of Macragge, Lady of the Ultramarines, Consort of the Lord Regent, she has a lot of titles and it bugs her greatly lol

Magnus The Red:

The Red Lady, Consort of The Crimson King

Rogal Dorn:

Lady Dorn, Lady of the Imperial Fists. Their titles are very practical and literal.

Ferrus Manus:

None in my opinion. Other legions might call her Manus’ lady simply for lack of anything else to say.

Perturabo:

Lady of Iron, but in my opinion yet another legion/primarch that doesn’t use a lot of titles. Half because Perturabo doesn’t let them even perceive her; Forrix once called her Perturabo’s bitch and he beat the man bloody. And then he called her bitch in private. He’s toxic.

Fulgrim:

This one I actually have no ideas! Fulgrim is my least touched upon primarch but I’m sure he’d have many titles for her, what do you guys think?

Vulkan:

Lady of Drakes, Lady/Mother of the Salamanders, My Lady, Mother, etc. Unlike the other legions they all really want to associate with her as a legion not just Vulkan

Corvus Corax:

Raven Mother, Lady Corax. Surprisingly uninspired.

Alpharius/Omegon:

When Alpharius talking it’s Lady Omegon, when it’s Omegon talking it’s just My Lady

Internally, Lady/Mother of the Hydra

Konrad Curze:

None really, Shang or Sevatar might call her Lady Curze as a demeaning joke, and other legions call her Lady of the Night Lords simply because she’s basically an unknown to them. In my opinion Curze actively hides her until he can no longer.

Sanguinius:

Lady or Lady Angel, Lady of Baal, Mother Angel later on

Lorgar Aurelian:

Lady Aurelian, Lady/Goddess of Colchis, Lady/Goddess/Mother of the Word Bearers. He really loves cramming goddess into her titles

Mortarion:

None that I can think of, other than the obvious

Jaghatai Khan:

This one I’m also not sure one, but I also don’t think Khan is a super title driven guy. Given he isn’t for himself either.

Leman Russ:

Wolf Mother, Den Mother, Lady/Mother of the Wolves, Russ’ bitch

Horus Lupercal:

Lady Lupercal, and that's probably it. Horus jokingly tried to get his Mournival to call her Princess Lupercal once and she tried to smack him.

Angron:

none really. I HC that their relationship is too unknown to title, and so any formal interactions usually just hesitantly call her Lady or Consort to Angron, since that’s the closest descriptor.

[severalpossiblemusiks]

I was gifted a revelation:

WARHAMMER 40,000 AS PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING

Do now the question is: which wrestler is which primarch?

Here are my suggestions, with my logic behind each choice:

Horus Lupercal: Triple H. He's literally a genius strategist and evil as hell but also kinda cool.

Leman Russ: Roman Reigns. Big wolf boi energy.

Ferrus Manus: Damian Priest. He seems like the guy to just pummel the shit out of you.

Fulgrim: Shawn Michaels. Horny af.

Vulkan: Mark Henry. Big black guy who's really nice.

Rogal Dorn: Gunther. Smile? What is that? We're here for business.

Roboute Guilliman: Cody Rhodes. The babyface of all babyfaces.

Magnus the Red: Seth Rollins. Have you seen his outfits?

Sanguinius: CM Punk. Literally no one hates him for some reason.

Lion El'Johnson: Randy Orton. Kinda dark and edgy, his good guy/bad guy status is kinda fluctuating.

Perturabo: Drew MacIntyre. Hates everything and everyone. Especially Dorn/Punk.

Mortarion: The Undertaker. The slow, ominous, unending march of doom.

Lorgar: Bray Wyatt. Creepy cult leader guy.

Jaghatai Khan: Rey Mysterio. Fast, kick your ass before you realize your ass is exposed. Cool as hell.

Konrad Curze: Edge. Literally insane.

Angron: Kane. Big angry red thing.

Crovus Corax: John Cena. You can't see him.

Alpharius Omegon: Chad Gable. Charismatic and kinda weird, technically bad guy but also good? Plotting, scheming, etc.

[ms--lobotomy]

“How much prep time do you think I’ll need to take on a bear?”

I only have this kind of requests/questions, I’m sorry

-🪿

Hi Anon! Don't be sorry, I love these requests. Mailbox open specifically for you btw

LION EL'JONSON- You need to repeat the question because he just stares at you. "Three." "Three what?" Refuses to elaborate. ???- So busy prepping that they died. FULGRIM- "How much prep time?" he asks. You can tell that he's trying to avoid the question, so you ask it again. "I would rather engage one of my brothers in a duel." Bastard. PERTURABO- "Let me prep instead," he says, mainly because he really wants to build some complex machinery to catch the bear. You refuse, but he helps with the prepping anyways. Gives you no answer on how much time it would take. JAGHATAI KHAN- "A better question would be how much time the bear needs to take on yourself." Knows how often you get up to this bullshit, and knows how you aren't fucking around. LEMAN RUSS- Surprisingly honest in his response, if not completely wrong. Goes into detail on how you could take on a bear, but assumes you are as stupidly powerful as a Primarch. ROGAL DORN- "You are not going to fight a bear." There is an awkward silence between you two before you reveal that you were planning to do it whether he liked it or not. He sighs and overestimates the time you'd need. KONRAD CURZE- Giving the most deranged grin you've ever seen, he says "None." There is blood in his teeth. SANGUINIUS- He puts a gentle hand on your head. "You do not need to prep. I can take care of it for you." You have to explain to him that no, you want this, you crave bear violence. FERRUS MANUS- "It depends on how well you prep," he shrugs. Offers to help build you weaponry for your bear escapades. You are now in posession of a sword as tall as you are. ???- Turned into a bear. Run! ANGRON- "Absolutely none," he grins. Ready to take on a bear at a moment's notice, and if you're close to him, you probably are as well. Glorious melee combat is glorious melee combat, bear or not. ROBOUTE GUILLIMAN- Sighs. "This again?" Thinks for a minute before giving you an honest answer. Offers to provide paperwork to prove that you can take on a bear. MORTARION- Stares at you for a minute before you realize that he's thinking. "I wouldn't do it if I were you, but I know there's no stopping you." Tells you that you need more time than you actually do. MAGNUS THE RED- "What planet do you plan on fighting the bear on?" he asked. "Do you have any methods for doing so?" Needs to know more, more about what you plan on doing before answering. HORUS LUPERCAL- Quirks an eyebrow at you. "You really won't leave these poor animals alone?" he chides lightheartedly. Gives a throwaway answer again. LORGAR- Lectures you on how important bears are to the planet's ecosystem and why it is a bad idea to take on an apex predator in the first place. You ignore him. VULKAN- "You're not taking it on without any help." Forges you some armor that's surprisingly light. Doesn't want you to get hurt in this debacle. CORVUS CORAX- "I don't know, maybe an hour?" When it comes time for you to take on the bear, though, Corvus comes out of the void and scares the bear away. Asshole. ALPHARIUS- "Huh?" May have already begun prepping to fight the bear. May be planning to sic a bear on you. Run.