#i just refined it a bit on my own time bc i actually love it that much

[myketheartista]

HEY HOMIES !!!

Here’s the big baddie 😮‍💨 my final for Digital Illustration I ! I was so excited to do this assignment when I first heard about it in Week 1, I had kinda planned from the start for it to be an Aiah and Polor piece since I can’t get their dynamic outta my head. Came back to an old rendering style I haven’t touched in ages and really tried to push the color palette this time around (I learned about gradient maps ! They’re super cool !!) In the end, I think there’s a lot about it I wouldn’t change at all. This is honestly one of my best pieces if I’d have to judge, haha.

I’m super pleased with the finished version even though it drained every ounce of my life force <3 I now vanish to pursue more back-breaking projects

[iraprince]

TIME FOR A PROCESS POST let's talk abt getting from this (client sketch - which, btw, i know other artists have talked about this plenty, but i LOOOOOOVE a client sketch as early direction on a commission. LOVE it)

to this!

at first we didn't know if the title was going to go across the desk, or over the central figure (emara's) head against the back wall. so there was a 1st version where we were favoring a higher title, then we started favoring the desk so we scrapped the clutter + centered it more

i used clip studio's 3D models (particularly for the chair, guard, + weapon crates) and perspective rulers to help with laying everything out at this stage, tho i abandoned the 3D pretty early on bc it's a bit too clunky for me. maybe i'll find it quicker to use w more practice!

(the rest under the cut!)

once the basic layout was approved, i threw together a value study to explain how in the final image all the clutter of the bg detail would be unified and pushed back. lately i find myself thinking abt value earlier + earlier in the process; planning ahead saves me a lot of time!

i fiddled with starting to refine things digitally, but then i got A BRAND NEW LIGHTBOX delivered in the mail with perfect timing (lmao) so i just ended up printing off the digital sketch, finalizing in pencil, + scanning back in

then comes five billion different steps of locking in values, again. i did everything greyscale first, but i didn't worry abt getting things super polished at this stage bc i knew color would factor in a lot to later decisions

this is the point at which presenting these wips "step by step" is kind of misleading; i didn't do these stages one at a time, but rather had a BUNCH of different lighting/shading layers that i kept toggling on and off as i worked to make sure everything was coming along well.

(to get some of these caps i actually went into the main file again and turned a bunch of stuff on/off just for the sake of getting specific examples, because actually when i was actively working on it there was rarely a point where i was actually working on something with "all lighting turned off and just the shading on," or anything like that; but i AM interested in showing what effects different lighting/shading changes had on the base colors, even if i wasn't really making these changes in a rigid order.)

i.e., just for the sake of interest, here's how the flat colors look without those adjustments!! but i honestly never looked at it like this on its own for long...i had all the shading/lighting turned off so i could see what i was doing while flatting, but i was constantly checking back and forth.

then tones added on top (which were actually just two copies of the tone folders in the above posts, set to linear burn and overlay) -

which makes it get HORRIFYINGLY dark, but that's when we go in and add a bunch of lighting adjustments.

the most obvious lighting change above is the big burst of hot pink light from the corner, but there was also some masked overlay + burn layers to pop out the guard + emara and make sure they were pulled out from the bg. if this were a standalone illustration, i maybe would have let the bg (and all that painstakingly drawn detail..........) stand out a little more, but a cover functions differently, and i wanted to make sure the eye goes to the title first. that means sacrificing bg detail even if it looks sick lol

then final touches! a lot of my very last touches are things that are close to invisible; gradient maps on very low opacity, noise, a little bit of scribbling on upper layers. the typesetting was all by the client, except for the lettering for "emara king's," which i did myself!

finally, here's a comparison of ⬅where i left off one night close to the deadline thinking "it's probably done, but i'll sleep on it just in case," then all the adjustments i made the next day with fresh eyes.➡ and that's it!!! phew!!! that's how i make a cover!

[sillycicle]

mha oc!!!1!!11!!

hes so silly I love him so much and he doesn't even have an actual name yet 😭 I've had this guy rotting my mind since December when I last hyperfixated on mha and decided to finally give him an overhaul (hehe) and actually design him

Im about to start blabbering about his quirk and story so if you want to hear more just go ahead and read but be warned!1!1!!

His hero name is the Energy Hero: Starboy and his quirk is Light Energy Manipulation. He's able to manipulate light energy from the sun & other light sources, all having different effects when in use. As he uses his quirk more and more, his hair slowly starts turning more white. When he uses his ability his white hair also shines iridescent, like a rainbow.

His horns and tail come from his father, who had a quirk that simply gave him horns, a tail, and manipulation of his own energy. His mother had a quirk that would make her hair light up and glow like the sun - but thats all he was told by his adoptive parents, as he was abandoned alone on the street with no memory when he was five years old. He was told that his father was murdered, and his mother was missing, so he devotes himself to heroism in order to make sure nobody else leaves children and family alone of the street to defend for themselves.

Energy from the sun & stars: gives him his basic fighting style, which is creating waves, shields, weapons, transportation, and all around general use. Its similar to Denki's, but only a bit. If denki was able to refine and control his quirk w/out the use of support items, he'd be exactly like my oc lol.

He later figures out that energy from the sun & stars gives him a new ability as part of his Quirk Awakening: Lightspeed - this ability gives him the ability to move his position in time. There's two versions of this ability, Red Shift and Blue Shift - they rewind him and fast forward him respective to the color shift they match. Also it isn't time travel, its more just like??? If he fell off a building facing one way, when he uses lightspeed to rewind himself, he can move freely during his way back up, but he's still moving upwards??? Like he can turn around and face the way he wasn't before??? Hope that explains it. He can also use this ability on objects and people that he touches, but only for the duration of this ability in use.

This ability also has heavy drawbacks on him, and he regularly suffers from nosebleeds, head aches, and tremors after he uses it (he almost died from a nosebleed in class once bc Aizawa was tired of him leaving to go to the nurses. He never made him stay in class again lol). Similarly, is he uses this ability on other people more that regularly, they suffer the same conditions, just lessened. The first time he uses this power, his body is rewound an entire day as part of his drawbacks, but his body being rewound rarely happens after her begins to train with this power.

Energy from UV: He can turn invisible and things he touches invisible, kind of like Violet from the Incredibles. This ability is primarily used as an ultimate move.

Energy from Incandescent Light: sort of electric-like, similar to denki's, but he uses it less because its for difficult to harness and get enough incandescent energy for use. Also, incandescent energy is regularly mixed with his sun energy, so its kind of useless to try and seperate it.

He is involved with any arc involving the whole/most of the class like the USJ and Sports Fesival arcs. He is also involved with the Stain and Shie Hassaikai arcs, and maybe more as I continue to rewatch the show. He also plays a supporting role in the Two Heroes movie, and his own arc that happens because why wouldn't i give my main mha oc his own arc??? What???

During said Starboy arc, he has some shenanigans with a villain who basically has a quirk similar to (what i know of with my limited jjk knowledge) domain expansions. Also iida is a big part of this arc too bc he's my fav character why wouldn't i involve him in my main oc's arc??? What??? Anyways, Starboy and Iida literally dance to beat this villain lol. Also Starboy almost levels a 10th of a city ❤ After that, his right (your left) eye is permanently in a sunburst shape and he is semi-partially blind. He also has sunburst-like scars on his hands and forearms after this battle. His original character design had ties to AFO and stuff, but he was WAYYY to plot relevant and could've lowkey replaced Deku with his backstory alone lmao.

He's closest with Iida, Kirishima, Kamanari, and Sero. He's also pretty close with Shoji, Tokoyami, Ojiro, Hakegure, and Mina, but not as close as the aforementioned four.

Also the last photo is his winter costume =p

[lopsidedtreetrunks]

Here is my submission for @dribbonart 's amedot fusion competition! I like her a lot, although there are a couple of things I probably could have done a bit better lol

Steven is there for height comparison. All of the text on the page is in the alt text :)

I have A LOT of notes under the cut, which can get a bit stream-of-consciousness-y (because I can never just be chill about something bsdjaksjdlskd),, so I apologise in advance for how long it is 😭

Early research notes:

Mixing amethyst and peridot's skin colours together gets you a kind of sage green colour, so I researched to light green gems

Aventurine stuck out to me as it was the only one i found where it was actually described as sage green, so i thought 'that's perfect' lol

A lot of the healing properties of green aventurine I think resonate with both amethyst and peridot's personalities, from its promotion of friendship to its emission of positive energy

I liked that one of the sites i used to research aventurine mentioned ancient civilisations' usage of green aventurine and i wanted to incorporate that into the fusion's design/personality

It's important to me for her to have aspects of both amethyst and peridot shown in the design somewhere. Most of the time when i design fan fusions I do this in their hair, which is not different this time. I made her hair long, with a bushy tail on her braid representing amethyst, and her three skull braids representing peridot's triangle hair. Her hair is also in a braid bc when i hear the word adventure for some reason the first thing i think of is Lara Croft so,,, thats why i gave her a braid 😅

I wanted her body design to kind of resemble athleisure-wear since she loves relaxing but can get up and go at any point, ready for adventure! She also doesn't need to be complicated. I don't think she needs extra limbs etc since she has her vision power.

Obviously the crystal gems are very important to both amethyst and peridot, so I wanted to give her at least one star on her body. Her torso seemed like the most obvious place, but I'm not sure if she should have more elsewhere, too. The star on her torso can be like a tattoo.

I think she would be very intense in her love for her friends, which might make people uncomfortable. She will back off if she senses this, but she means well I promise!!

She can be spontaneous when it comes to her adventuring, sometimes dragging Steven and the other gems from their beds to go on a Cool Adventure (pearl is NOT a fan of this lmao)

When I say 'adventuring' I really mean just travelling and/or exploring new places, which could be anything from a new city to a deep jungle. Normally these adventures don't last longer than a couple of days... unless they get lost..........

A few amedot related rambles notes:

One of my favourite things about amedot is that they're sooo opposite. I'm such a big opposites-attract truther almost everything I ship there's one puppy dog and one wet cat there's nothing i love more than polar opposite pairings <3

With that said they also share a few things (cough being short asses cough) such as their love of their friends (even if they show it in different ways) and they can both be pretty headstrong. They both had their own journeys - amethyst with her self confidence and feeling inferior, and peridot with unlearning the system of homeworld and the traditions she was so used to. They both had to learn how to love themselves enough to be able to stand up for what they believe in and to let themselves be true to themselves (i hope that makes sense lol)

I think their opposing traits can be quite complementary. Peridot is quite intense; she gets excited about her favourite things and she gets embarrassed easily. Amethyst is more laid-back and tends to roll her own way. They complement each other well.

More refined notes:

Amethyst's personality: Mellow Lazy/messy (affectionate) Improved self-esteem Fiercely loyal

Peridot's personality: Self-confident Smart (robotics) Analytical Intense interests/personality Learned to enjoy life/appreciate Earth

Aventurine properties:

Quartz

Name comes from Italian for adventure

Known as a heart-healer for it's relation to the heart chakra

Said to bring prosperity in all facets of life

Emits a positive energy, slows overactive minds, guides lost spirits, promotes friendships

Ancients Tibetans used it in statues, believing it's glimmer gave them higher vision

Amazon tribes used it in jewellery, believing it gave their royalty and warriors guidance in battles

Aventurine personality:

Self-confident

Enjoys seeking adventure but really values her downtime

Adores her friends - loyal

Can take charge if needed

Can be spontaneous with adventuring

Emotional decision-maker

Although she is very smart, she tends to think with her heart rather than her head

She has a special power - higher vision grants her the ability to see for miles and can focus in any person/thing in the present

Similar to Sapphire's future vision but stays in the present

She gets her street smarts and go-with-the-flow attitude from Amethyst

She gets her intense love and confidence from Peridot

Hyper but content in life

[gumy-shark]

okayh okay HI you said you wanted to know about the freedom/passion dichotomy thing? ive got the graph and i am going to do my best to explain this to you despite me barely having a grasp of it on myself. THIS IS VERY LONG IM SORRY.

so the first thing you need to know is this just started as a way to split my ocs and help me make character arcs and motivations, and it became a little bit of a habit to categorize my favorite characters this way as well. its is in no means a perfect dichotomy, and im constantly looking for ways to refine it, but for now the best way ive found to illustrate it is this:

basically its which think they represent most... or what they value the most? idk its kind of a case-by-case basis and is dictated by Vibe. like I said THIS IS VERY FLAWED so bare with me pls

when i first started watching lmk i sorted all of the characters i knew into either category. this was within the first four/five days are watching so some of it might be.. off? but i think its still worth something as my first impression of the characters, and it'll probably help illustrate what i mean

Wukong -> Freedom Macaque -> Passion Wukong and Macaque have this thing where one has too much freedom and is learning to temper that with passion (wukong) and the other has too MUCH emotion and is trying everything he can to gain true freedom (macaque) (this is true even when he isn't under LBD's control but is esp prevalent then). they each value the opposite thing they stand for and are trying to be more like the other, without even realizing it. MK -> Freedom Dont get me wrong! He very much has passion! He holds a lot of emotion in that body! but a lot of that passion is the passion for freedom. he just wants to be able to be himself and hang out with his friends, he doesn't do well with all this responsibility :C Mei -> Passion Does this need defending? High sense of duty (mainly towards her ancestors and her friends), and so incredibly passionate. and impulsive. She spits fire when angry! Nothing more to be said honestly. Red Son -> Passion Is a really good parallel to Mei, has too much passion to fit in his body. [In the original notes, I noted that he was 'scared of true freedom, but doesn't know that yet. I'm pretty sure this references his relationship to his parents? Smth smth he's too scared of making them angry so he doesn't explore who he is outside of his relation and loyalty to them?] Pigsy -> Passion this man doesn't need freedom when he as his passion for food. what does he need to be free from? he has everything he wants HEART EMOJI! Tang -> ...Its complicated The thing with tang is that he kind of gets like a character arc with like. Responsibility and his care for his friends? He goes from low passion/high freedom to low freedom/high passion over the course of the show. please note that i am insane about him and if i really wanted i could write a whole essay about him. Sandy -> ??? ONCE AGAIN ITS WEIRD. I WISH THE SHOW FOCUSED MORE ON HIS CHARACTER AND BACKSTORY BC I CANT GET A READ ON HIM.

okay thats the main cast, and HERES THE ALIGNMENT CHART ACCORDING TO THAT. WITH OTHERS AS WELL.

theres not a lot of people without any value of freedom and passion at the same time so the grey area is pretty empty LMAO.

ANYWAYS. I BROUGHT THIS UP TO BEGIN WITH BECAUSE OF THE CHARACTERS WITH EYE SCARS TRIFECTA!!! Basically i see them all of how i described macaque earlier. He's trapped in a situation that he doesn't want to be in, whether it be LBD's control or his situation wiht wukong or his own creepy and standoffish persona/his trust issues making it hard to make real connections with others.

(in contrast wukong loves doing his own thing and just Hanging Out and never stopping his own momentum, but he also has trouble caring about... a lot of things actually. he's just soo easygoing! responsibility harshes his vibe!)

But anyways, macaque's problems are very similar to quackity and tempest's, i feel. Quackity constantly feels trapped by physical threats like techno or dream, and also his own circumstances and trauma (a lot of it from schlatt and manburg). a lot of his actions are him trying to reclaim the freedom he used to feel when he was younger. tempest felt she couldn't be truly herself without her horn, but in trying to get it she got herself in a really bad situation where any wrong move could get her killed.

The passion part comes in play in different ways for them all. Quackity tried not to care about people for a while, but still can never stop being extremely loyal and protective of his friends. Tempest had lots of rage inside her and was so intensely driven to get to her goal. And Macaque canNOT stop obsessing over wukong honestly. All three of them are very passionate, and all three of them are constantly trying to gain more freedom.

This is a super long ask, but thank you for inviting me to ramble about this lmao. I think everyone represents freedom or passion in their own way, and this dichotomy really only matters for characters BUT I THINK ITS FUN. THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TEDTALK!!!!!

i had a whole Thing written out and i was so proud of it and then my phone decided to delete it before i could post and not save as draft. but yeah im putting this chart in the microwave and then eating it and then putting it in the fridge so i can keep it overnight and microwave and eat it again. this is so fucking Good. in their attempts for freedom macaque cquack and tempest all disown the people they were when they Were free, bc they want to be unbound entirely, but they Feel too deeply for that to ever be a possibility for them. so they do the next best thing and try to pass those "lessons" they've learned on to others OUGH it makes me sick!!!

[kamiversee]

omg i wanna give you a smooch ty for taking the time to breakdown my 4 am ramble 😘 it’s so ironic you mentioned that this is how you are with the MCU because i was the anon that said these last few chapters are my Avengers Endgame 🥲 but holy shit you were right, this is more like my Infinity War because the feeling of the cliffhanger and devestation is the same. I LUV U KAMI it’s 6 am rn and i realize i left a lot of my notes out of that “mini” TFL analysis so once i’m fully awake i might go sniffin’ for more hints 🤍 i’m sure someone else has found the Sukuna detail by now with your hints so i’m excited to apply those two hints into refining more theories!!

the fan theories are so much fun to read, but way more fun to find evidence for. i have a few excerpts from diff chapters to support theories like Choso being involved with the list generation, Sukuna and Gojo “working” together, etc. even if i’m not fully onboard with some of them. i feel like you can relate to enjoying the process of going back and gathering details, so you totally know where i’m coming from with all of this lmao

i’m so excited for your blue lock fic to be uploaded!! shidou and sae are too fine for their own good i need these men so fucking BAAAAD!!! considering that i only found you once you posted on Tumblr, it would be really cool to see how your writing progressed to the point that it’s at in TFL 🤍

💋

-☃️

That…That was a MINI analysis? HELLO?😭

Anywho, yes, to me, TFL is my Infinity War & the next fic is Endgame. I think the cliffhanger was inspired by my love for marvel too & l the things in it that connect & how they branch out…

Yeah yk how one marvel movie or show will reference another? Just wait til’ I get more fics on here & trust me I’ll be cross-referencing shit like crazy😭

Anywho, the Sukuna detail was how he texted the reader first despite him giving her his number— they never exchanged numbers, he just gave her his so, how did he text first? ><

The other detail issss, actually I think someone else found it so I’ll respond to tht ask & confirm in a bit💀

Anywho, I love how you can find something to support all sorts of theories bc it really gives me a chance to see how creative I could be going forth 😉

LASTLY, my Sae & Shidou fic was my first masterpiece imo, the angst, the fluff, the smut (I’ll probably rewrite some bits), EVERYTHING. It’s a great story & was one of my favs before I made TFL my focus ^.^

[bbreaddog]

Tagged by @jmrothwell! 💕

Are you named after anyone?

I’m not entirely sure… I have a very vague memory of my mum telling me my English name came about bc it sounded similar to a Chinese singer… but I don’t trust my memory and I’m too afraid to ask again 😬

I don’t think I’m named after anyone re: my Chinese name. Digressing here but was recently reminded that it’s a typically masculine name and that made me feel something… my English name is quite feminine so…

Wondering how my parents came to that conclusion when naming me… wondering if they knew from the start that I had both masculine and feminine energy and needed my names to reflect that or something… much to think about

When was the last time you cried?

Last night 🥲

Do you have kids?

I don’t have my own, but sometimes I refer to my students as my kids. Not for sentimental reasons tho, it’s just easier to say less syllables 👍

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

No, not at all (deadpan) (lying) (so much)

Sometimes I will deliver things in a way where even I can’t tell whether I’m being sarcastic or not

What sports do you play/have played?

God, my school valued sports so much that I’ve probably tried every sport under the sun.

Ones I regularly trained in at school: tennis, basketball, softball, netball, table tennis, swimming

At uni (all dance genres): tap, jazz, ballet

I did yoga and Pilates for a bit after graduating, but I haven’t been able to do much physical activity the past two years for health reasons 🥲 I would so love to be able to do dance classes again. I really found my groove in third year uni about it and I miss that a lot

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Idk, their clothes I guess

What’s your eye colour?

Rich soil, calligrapher’s ink, a stargazer’s dream. The distance between our feet and the ground. The part of the ocean that lets no light because she loves us too much. The place in time that promises safety, protection, stability.

Endless, endless, and full of possibilities.

(Let me romanticise my black eyes, dammit)

Scary movies or happy ending?

Happy endings for SURE. I absolutely cannot do anything scary. I can’t even watch The Owl House bc the monsters in it look too scary 😭 I’ve been recommended it so many times by so many people, but I just cannot 😭😭😭

Any special talents?

Being naturally good with kids? I know I’m a teacher and this will sound really awful, but I………..don’t actually like kids. Obviously I still treat them with kindness and respect, and I can tolerate them enough to do my job properly. I can (and do) bond with them and form meaningful relationships with them. Takes a village to raise a child, and I’m part of the village, y’know?

Idk what it is, but kids just like me for some reason, without me having to really try. I find just being my usual sarcastic self who doesn’t hide when I’m pissed off is somehow very charming for kids

Jokes aside, it’s definitely a skill I’ve had to develop and refine, especially for teaching. But I’ve just been naturally good with kids since forever—I think being part of the eldest cousins pack in my family has helped a lot in that regard, bc most of my cousins are 8+ years younger than me. So, experience, I guess.

Where were you born?

In a hospital

What are your hobbies?

I am in dire need of new hobbies that aren’t physically taxing on my arm, but currently:

Drawing, reading, writing, baking, singing, playing violin or ukulele, sewing/patching

And this……is technically one of my jobs but I also just do it for fun: acting/scene/script analyses

Gif makers I am making out with you so hard bc i do so much acting analysis from watching individual gifs. IT’S JUST. SO GOOD. EVERY CHOICE IS DELIBERATE, and you can see that in a 2 second gif. You won’t believe how much you can take away from a fleeting, seemingly insignificant moment in a piece of cinema memorialised into a gif lovingly made by a passionate fan. Gifsets are arguably what got me into acting in the first place

So like obviously having a degree in acting means i am also just a huge huge nerd about scene/script analysis too, and it’s so TASTY being able to draw up a whole character profile, backstory, personality, objectives and obstacles, and so many more minute details. From like. A 3-word sentence spoken by a background character that never comes up again. IT’S SO GOOD. I could keep going on about this but this is also getting very long so I shall end it here

I JUST REALLY LOVE ACTING 😭

Do you have pets?

My dog :-) and 3 very perseverant fishies 💕

How tall are you?

Enough to reach the top of a door frame on my tippy toes

Favourite subject in school

Studio Art, but only bc my school cut the Drama dept while I was there :/ I did still really love Studio tho—maybe too much? Idk it definitely contributed to my arm issues bc I had to do a folio each for both Art and Studio Art (two diff subjects)

Dream job

No job. I do whatever I want. I heal whenever I need. I live free of capitalistic responsibilities. I live. I live. I live.

I tag (no pressure to do this): @noworneverphantom @fiddlepickdouglas @drifting-in-otter-space @badsalmonella

[clear-what-i-was-seeing]

Get to know me 

tagged by the wonderful and amazing @petrowriting!! thank you <3

Share your wallpaper: 

This one’s my home screen, I took a photo of a cabbage when I was like 12 years old and did something to invert the colours and have had it ever since lmao. My lockscreen is this fanart of Will Graham because it’s amazing and gorgeous and I’m obsessed with it

The last song you listened to: Through Me (The Flood) also by Hozier alksdaslkdhf. i’ve been obsessing so much it’s such a good song. i have maybe described listening to this song as a religious experience too many times for someone who has never had an actual literal religious experience 

Currently reading: 100 pages into the Red Dragon book and it is a trip lmfao. it’s so fun seeing the ways the dialogue was repurposed, and the prose is wow, but ohhh boy. thomas harris. babe. get help<3

Last movie: Jane Austen Book Club! i love grigg very much despite his stupid name. gonna start alternating between hugh dancy and mads’s movies bc I’ve been doing that accidentally I think lmao. Last three movies I did went like Confessions of a Shopaholic -> Charlie Countryman -> Jane Austen Book Club. but on the other hand I deeply need to watch like four hugh dancy movies as soon as possible for emotional reasons 

Craving: For it to be like a week from now so I’m healed from my wisdom teeth surgery. also to have no work or responsibilities for a month and just be able to write and read hannigram fics aslkdf. 

What are you wearing right now: this is my first time not being in pyjamas since getting the aforementioned wisdom teeth out lmfao. black pants and dark blue t-shirt

How tall are you: 5’3 </3

Piercings: love the aesthetic yet terrified of getting it done and also them catching on things. I got these clip-on gothic glow-in-the-dark dragon earrings a bit ago from a targeted instagram ad (my first and last time ever doing so) because I have zero impulse control, and they broke immediately. 

Tattoos: none, but have been microwave-spinning the concept of getting a hannibal tattoo since I watched. the heart from primavera would be so cool

Glasses? Contacts?: Glasses, my eyesight is deeply blurry without them

Last drink: classic water, big big fan of the stuff. reminds me of nbc hannibal because because there was water in the show a lot

Last show: watched two episodes of The Last of Us at like 5am yesterday, it was great. also perpetually rewatching hannibal by getting everyone I know to watch, and then watching with them

Last thing you ate: soft tofu in broth. there are, not a lot of vegan post-wisdom-tooth food options (also I’m very picky lmao), so I’ve been rotating between that, vegan ice cream, mashed potatoes, and vegetable smoothie for like 3 days. 

Favorite color: ohhh this is painful, is it a cop-out to say all of them? Big big fan of purple, orange with purple, green, and blue. 

Current obsession: it’s been hannibal and nothing else for 9 months now, and im going strong

Unrelated obsession: not sure if this counts exactly but there’s a writing app where you set a timer and start typing, and if you stop typing for longer than 5 seconds it deletes everything, and it’s so cool. I’ve been calling it stream-of-consciousness writing in my head for like a year bc it’s like a personal stream-of-consciousness even though ik that is not how to use that term alksfhd. I do 3 or 5 minute sprints and store them in one document, then have a second document where I edit and refine, and for a few I’ve put them side to side and colour-coded all my changes and it’s so fun

Any pets: two cats! Miles, my grey one, is extremely sweet, and possibly too smart for his own good. My other one Chico has a very adorable snaggle-tooth, and is incredibly stupid <3. he’s very bad at knowing what direction he’s going or recognizing any parts of the world around him and I love him very much.

Do you have a crush on anyone?: only in that vague abstract way, almost without direction, catching little wisps of the concept of the feeling from scattered bits of interactions with the world around me

Favorite fictional character: im absolutely refusing to choose between hannibal and will so im listening them both and you can’t stop me

The last place you traveled: i’ve literally gone nowhere since the pandemic started </3. i’m in Canada and the furthest I’ve been is just one city to another in the same province like 1.5 hours away. Hopefully going to Italy in the summer though!!

Tagging: @stranded-labyrinth, @valentinsylve, @elvislefilm, @disaster-vampire, @sacha-da-1, @dreamed-itself-waking, @em0fagz, @cannibaltranssexual, @hisjimct, @im-urchin, @ghostforwhat, @f0undationsofd3cay, @det395, @a-pigeons-soliloquy, @mysterist, and anyone else who wants to!

zero pressure, also i’m always v forgetful with tagging so if i missed anyone sorry and ily! 

[chigusaeyes]

was tagged back by @altairring for the fandom character meme

you know how to choose them 😘

putting things under a cut~

I'll go in Reverse Order & start with Clavis ~!

I haven't paid any attention to the cesspool of self-righteous idiocacy that makes up the majority of Otoge Fandoms on Tunglr dot com, only my dear moots & the few gems I have found along the way, but I am slamming my hand down right now & declaring with confidence that the fandom at large is Probably Most Definitely wrong about him.

About what exactly? Idk I just came out swinging bc Have you met him? Yeah. I mean, I did choose 'no.' for a reason and that reason is that I clocked him as someone who is going to give me Problems & I won't be able to stop myself from loving him anyways.

Clavis, Clavis, Clavis...we have a salad spinner that we call "Nikos's Boyfriend" bc Nikos is very attached to it? He likes to try laying atop it. Idk, cats, yanno? But were I able, I would throw Clavis into Nikos's Boyfriend and spin him in there with all the love in the world.

He's a poster child for Local Clown Actually Broken Inside. P clear him & all his brothers are traumatized on some level, it comes with the...everything. Refined for each of them.

Anyways, he's the most refined mess out there and I love him. And his beauty marks. Plus his color is purple and BINCH ME TOO.

And onto Saizo.

Saizo's a fuckin' binch and I love him, I do, but oh my god do I want to SQUEAK him. Playing his route is half me going AHHHH & half me going GDI Saizo Why Can't I Quit You (This is Why I Can't Quit You ).

The Cold Asshole trope isn't my preferrence honestly, as I'm not usually into beating my head against a wall. Talk about a man loaded with trauma. But the glimpses behind The Wall that Saizo has up before he finally opens up a bit to the MC always keep me hanging on. And then the side stories etc that are post-opening up etc make me forget how much of an ass he's been. Which is the point, I think.

I say this with wry affection bc imo, Saizo is like...the fave that doesn't need to be mentioned as your fave unless you gun for Saizo and Saizo alone. Bc just abt everyone has a soft spot for him, in my experience. Not always, but it's a thing yanno?

Also him & Yukkins will never not be one of my fave combos of all time. I deeply enjoy Saizo's commentary on any+everyone else. ESPECIALLY Nobuyuki.

And speaking of Nobuyuki...

Nobuyuki is probably definitely one of my favorite Genuinely Dangerous romance/love interests of all times in a game. The Gentle Yandere is probably definitely the most sinister & dangerous of the yandere archetype.

( Not to be mistaken for the yangire, who is the "if I can't have you, I will kill you" ( vs the Classique yandere tactic of imprisonment and/or isolation ), who is arguably the most dangerous any of the Obsessive (yan-) archetypes, if only bc you're Way more likely to just fuckin' die. )

Boy I really know how to choose them huh.

( In fairness to myself - tho this Really Needn't Be Said - Nobuyuki is my favorite LI who I would Never actually want to be with irl. )

Anyways.

The psychological power of the gentle yan is so dangerous bc it gives the illusion of free will & choice, without realizing your stage has been effectively set up around you. It takes an enormous amount of interpersonal skill via manipulation & tactics, etc, to do as such too. Especially without revealing his hand. He doesn't need to lock the one he decides he wants to be with up, bc she willingly walks into the cage and locks herself in there of her own fkn volition. Brilliant, I love him So Much, he's terrible and wonderful all at the same time.

There's always going to be a power differential between Buyan and his wife & it's not for everyone's fictional preference, but it certainly is for mine. Or at least my MC-OC, gdi. Plus there are ways in which the MC proves herself to be a capable wife that Buyan respects & actively adores.

Honestly, it's those positive feelings that make him so dangerous, bc this is a man used to sacrificing aspects of himself & his own desires for the sake of his clan. And the fact that he meets someone he actually develops feelings for & gets to keep her? Oh boy. She ends up being a cage for him to put his heart into while she locks herself into a cage of his making.

Ahhh, Nobuyuki let me count the ways...between the Gentle Yan aspects, his tender smile, willingness to sacrifice his personal honor & morals for the greater good of the family ( and skill in never revealing this ), and weight upon his heart in trying to keep Yukimura safe in whatever few ways he can...seriously I love him so much.

Is Nobuyuki good? Well, he's a dutiful son & a doting maternal brother figure & a very wise leader who values his people and hearing their input. And he'll use people as he needs in order to ensure the safety and longevity of his family and their land + the people under their rule. So like. Good by what definition? WHOSE definition?

If you asked Nobuyuki if he was "good", he'd probably laugh in that soft way of his and ask what makes someone Good, before likely saying that Yukkins is the pinnacle of Goodness by the Sanada standards or something. Just rip my heart out and stomp on it, huh?

All of this is to say that while thankfully many ppl have already spoken on Buyan & how wonderfully complex he is & helped spread recognition of that...I'm, as always, very confident that there are plenty of Wrong People out there - be it due to comprehensive or critical thinking issues.

I want to put him in a salad spinner until he finally lets some goddamn tears out. I've humored ( read: hurt ) myself thinking about Nobuyuki & his Wifey MC during Yukkins's funerary process etc and the sheer grief of it all for EVERYONE involved and I hate it SO MUCH. Hate hate hate HATE. But it's also an inevitably, so fuck it, have THAT be a part of a 2nd Season for Nobuyuki, Voltage, don't be cowards---

🥲

No seriously, Nobuyuki makes me think SO MUCH, too much really, and I just. Wanna eat my whole fist. When I think abt him. I haven't opened the app in literal ages ( on one hand, it's practical, on the other hand, I missed his bday stuff Again so fuck me right? ), but I still---I mean! *waves hands at my url* I still!!!

Also that sexy scene of his where he instructs MC to meet his eyes before he will Initiate Physical Consummation of their Relationship & then having her keep her eyes locked with his during, etc? Boy that still gets me a-flustered if only bc like. Just looking AT someone during sex can be difficult at times, but maintaining eye contact?

Actually did u kno that apparently, accordingly, staring your partner in the eyes while kissing them helps to build + strengthen intimacy? I'll fuckin' say. Buyan seems like the type who would enjoy that too, what a Gigacha--- 🤣

I could keep going but seriously I love Nobuyuki and people can pull him from my cold, dead hands.

[revasserium]

as a response to this ask: https://revasserium.tumblr.com/post/729580466551799808/but-in-the-meantime-i-love-love-love-childhood

(omg sorry this is so messy ahahah)

i get what you mean about reading being one of the biggest inspirations for writing. whenever i'm in a writing slump, i just pull out a fanfic or a book and i'll suddenly feel the urge to write again XD

and our planning process is surprisingly rather similar? i still like planning bc i like to be specific for foreshadowing and symbolism, but i agree that the story is sometimes... a thing of its own. i'll plan for things to be this way and while writing it just gets snatched out of my hands to become it's own things. it's struggle for me i suppose there's a lot of back and forth: i like my plans, but i can't deny that the story just wants to go elsewhere.

i also normally always start at the start of the story! just like you, i have the words play out in my head word for word, but i normally don't pen down these thoughts because i feel they're not refined. i will repeat them though, and when i sit down i use them as reference or a guide on the angle of my story. it's really nice to compare and see similarities in writing processes! i guess the charm of your work is the story's flow, and that is from how you write unrestrained by a plan. i like that style! >:3c

-- @anonymilk

in response to this ask: https://www.tumblr.com/revasserium/732542620437463040/how-have-you-been-anonymilk i’m doing fine!! i have gotten busier because of work. the most festive the holiday season, the more work for me :/ hahaha. but it’s been good!! although i might not have lots of energy to keep track of replies and reply myself, i do enjoy seeing u on my dash uwu this is soooo overdue, but how was your travels? did you mention where you went? are u comfortable sharing? i would love to travel… but it costs a lot too so :’) gotta work more first ahahahh. — @anonymilk !

cutting for length! :)

i wish i could still write like i used to -- and a part of me thinks i can, bc if i rly tried to force myself, i could just pick a rando prompt and like... write it. but the thing is -- i've got so little mental energy left after most days at work that i can barely work on the fics i DO wanna write u know?

and it's strange bc for the first time in my life, i feel my work literally impeding upon the things i like to do to a degree that im like ??? bruh wut.

not to the point where i'm tryna quit, bc like work pays, and it pays decently well, and for all i complain about it, i actually do love what i do u__u and that's rare enough as it is. but yeah, i really do wish it weren't so mentally taxing so i could have a bit more energy to write.

but yes! :) it's always nice to find someone who has a similar-ish writing process!!! to be like yEAH OMG!!! I DO THAT TOO! :D

now!! for the travel q!! i went to australia and new zealand, about a week in each, and it was so, so lovely!!!! it was so breathtakingly beautiful -- like truly, i didn't know the sky could be that blue or the water could be that clear.

and the wedding that we went to attend was beautiful -- there was drama (bc isn't there always) but it was nothing compared to all the good things that happened :). i was just so fucking tired after i got back LOL i needed vacay from my vacay ukno????

next year, i promised myself that i would travel more for myself, bc this year, i ended up traveling for a bunch of different weddings and engagements, and not !!! that i don't love that and am super happy for my friends!!! but like. it's different traveling for JUST urself vs traveling for someone else's wedding/engagement, ykno? so yeah u__u i think im gonna plan a trip to italy w/ my bf, and maybe one to japan with my mom :D we'll see!!!!

[honeymouthedtales]

manhwa anon - omg didnt expect to get a special cla rec list thank you!! 😭🩷 i cant really describe what tropes are my favorite because i am a total newbie but from the few i’ve read: i also LOVE villainess tropes, esp. those with smart and cunning fl (im currently reading villainess turns hourglass, obsessed with the fl she’s so evil and smart, and not really a villainess but think navier of remarried empress- her brain is just so huge ugh im in love)

another aspect i like is when the story focuses a lot on imperial politics and high society strategizing etc, i find it really fascinating!! basically the heavier, more dramatic stuff, as opposed to light topics & fluffy romance all throughout the story :3

if you have any !!must read!! recs for beginners pls also share, even if they dont fit those tropes!!! 🫶

sorry this took a lot but my mental illness went downhill these days

i've already mentioned my faves i think but i can go a little further. you've already mentioned navier who's a real queen, but when it comes to scheming main characters I can mention:

The Villainess Is A Marionette: the setting is a bit all over the place with the inspiration but the art is gorgeous and both she and her twin brother are schemers and tbh even if he is the villain sometimes I feel like siding with him ahah. There's a lot of intrigue and court factions in it!

The Way To Protect The Female Lead's Older Brother: i am in love with this webtoon, not only the art is gorgeous, everyone in it is kinda insane. The fl doesn't want to be a villainess but has to become it in order to survive and isn't she an amazing villainess? I also somehow really love the male lead, I like when they deviate from the buff guy stereotype, he has a very youthful vibe (and I loved that he was a prisoner of the fl's family at the beginning of the story). I also love the other male lead and I normally despise the second guy very bad, but tbh as someone who read the ending of the novel I personally wouldn't know who I was really hoping to win in the end. Anyway, if you like gothic and a little gory themes and a lot of scheming this is also very pretty.

The Broken Ring: I really like the female lead so much, she's one of my favorite in existence. When you read villainess webtoons, most of them are just normal girls who end up a villainess and conquer everyone with their charm/sweetness, but in this case she is a girl who gets to live her life for the third time and after suffering in both the previous lives she is quite tired and just wants to marry her 'no thoughts in that pretty head' chosen husband and live on her own. There's not that much of a plot with adventures and kidnapping but I love that it has a very mature feel.

The Villainess Lives Twice: if you like the fl of villainess turns the hourglass you will also like her. The plot does sometimes get a little unbelievable but there's a lot of politics and intrigues and going to ballrooms to make connections, I definitely recommend but don't expect a very how can I say refined plot.

I tamed my ex husband's mad dog: I thought it was a little strange at the beginning bc it's one of those adopting a very cute weak teenager and then he grows up to be my knight who loves me and I can't control him anymore damn, and when they meet he's 16 and she's 25, but ACTUALLY I'll put the spoiler after a few lines bc idk how to write it in white so you can avoid it ;;

apparently the guy is a isekai returnee as well? So he was just pretending to be a child after reincarnating?

Do of this what you want. Anyway they're both kinda selfish and trying to use the other for their selfish reasons in the end.

The Princess Imprints a Traitor: this is also one of those stories that are about a returnee who comes back and tries to change the past. She's absolutely not a villainess, but I like how smart she is, how she protects her people, and how she goes hard into politics because the only way to save everyone would be becoming crown princess and changing things herself. Also the plot is very unique, with magic and alchemy and spellbound servants who serve their masters in bed? Although she's too noble so she refuses lol

Isn't Being a Wicked Woman Much Better? I live for people who become a villainess and decide to keep living as a villainess. She's smarter than everyone, she's rich, she has power, I just hope she can leave everyone penniless and enjoy herself forever.

I'll be the matriarch in this life/I shall master this family: she's not exactly a villainess but after returning from the dead Florentia is the most scheming and business savvy 5yo and then 8yo and then 12yo in existence. I've been waiting for her to grow up for two seasons and I can't wait for her to show me what she can do in the next seasons as well. It's more light-hearted compared to everything I've recced until now but I think it's a top read and I love the fl <3

This got very long but if you send me another ask I might do a part two!

[bybdolan]

uhhh i cant wait for a complete post of your thoughts when you've had time to think about it, im sad it doesnt fit the vibe of the photoshoot and its ok and im going to listen to the album bc it sounds like taylors previous work which i like but im sick of the same production on every track and its not even good, that synth rythm at the end of the anti-hero chorus is giving me ptsd its like every taylor swift song is starting to sound like that

ok i can finally answer this a bit more thouroughly after having sat with the album for a few days. I think my initial reaction was much more negative than my views on the album are now, simply because I also expected something different and was taken aback by what we ended up getting. In a lot of ways, it reminds me of reputation: in my perception of it, in its sound, and in the themes that are being explored. Ultimately, Midnights is the better reputation: it deals with themes of fame and "finding love through all the noise" MUCH better than the 2017 album did, likely because Taylor now has the removal and strong footing to really Get Into a lot of shit (and her own insecurities) without constantly being worried about how she will be perceived. Some tracks on Midnights are what I always wanted to hear from her fame-wise, as exemplified by how many beats from this playlist get hit, so all in all I do appreciate a lot about the album. It's also just... fun to listen to, I want to dance around my room to many of the tracks which I dig. Unfortunately, this is not all it takes for me to be head over heels for an album, and Midnights kind of disappointed me on the songwriting front. This is me complaining on an incredibly high level because Taylor is That Good, but there were almost no lyrics that stood out to me upon first listen. It is exactly the same feeling reputation has given me upon first listen, where I sat around wondering when a lyric would really GRAB me the way many of the lines on Speak Now or Red did. I appreciate the humor and Taylor's delivery of the lyrics is arguably the best part of the album, but I feel a bit dissatisfied with some of the metaphors or literary devices on here. Negative examples are "Your eyes are flying saucers from another dimension", "Cat eye sharp enough to kill a man" (shut up...), "I miss you but I miss sparkeling", "the sand hurts my feelings" (i actually love where she was going with this and think it should have been more refined because it doesn't land). And a lot of the songs are also just... There. They don't do anything for me. Which kind of is the worst crime an album can commit. I like Jack, but there is truth to the fact that he only ever is experimental on his own albums and gives the girls he works with very little breathing room. When listening to Midnights, I feel like the music is just. There as a backdrop to the lyrics and very rarely adds something to the overall feeling of the song. And when the lyrics by themselves are not that strong... That's not great. I would argue that Midnights has better lines than 1989, but 1989 felt like a symbiosis of production and lyrics, where each perfectly supported the other, and Midnights doesn't give me the same feeling. It feels a tad rushed. I say all of this and will most likely still stream the fuck out of the album, but I won't consider it a Great Work in the process of doing so. I simply love dancing around to a silly pop song.

[siarven]

Hi! I have a question about Dream's Shadow, if that's cool. (Or multiple, I guess.) What's been your favorite part of writing it so far? What inspired you to create the story initially? Are there any (non-spoilery) things you're excited to get to? It's a very cool WIP!

lskdjfdls i am so sorry for the incredibly late response, i saw your ask, went !!!!!!! but it was late and then it was marked as read and i forgot about it again :c thank you so much for your interest and the ask!!! i really appreciate it, even if my brain is stupid sometimes

ANYWAYS

my fave part of writing it has been all the worldbuilding in later drafts, and also just ... having seen how it develops, really? how i refine the world and society and dig in a little deeper in some areas, or how characters have changed through the drafts, or who the characters have become :'3 i've been working on it (on and off) since nanowrimo 2014 and it's come so far and it's changed so much, kinda just like me ... and it's really cool to see that in the story and the worldbuilding and the characters too? :'3 i really don't like editing all that much, but rewriting is Fine Actually, and i love rewriting scenes in a way that makes them Sparkle afterwards, or giving them the certain Something that makes it hurt so much more hehehe (especially on rereads)

so basically, i guess what i love about it is how much it shows me how i have grown as a person <3 but strictly speaking, writing wise.. i don't know, i love every part of the actual writing, i love shaping the words and brainstorming and dialogue and description and creating the worlds and the characters :'3 just not editing. but we are working on that. XD

initial inspiration ... it's so basic, actually? but it's also sort of a spoiler, so i will leave out that part xD it was literally just this kinda very basic "image" of a parent sitting at the bed of their child, who's in a coma after a car accident, and the ghost of the child has their hand on the parent's shoulder, and it's mainly a story about grief, in a sort of bittersweet-sad-beautiful way. And at some point the ghost-child figures out that they can create dreams for their parents, and that they can fly bc they're a ghost, and there was a demon, and the family cat could see (and help) them.

(One day i want to go back to that original concept, it feels like something that might work as a graphic novel?)

At that point i wasn't a very good writer yet though, so I could never have pulled it off in a way where it wasn't boring. So the second draft shifted it into its own fantasy universe, the characters changed a bit, it escalated somewhat.... and now it's still a story about grief and ben is still a ghost and the parents are still grieving and the cat can still see him... so the heart is still there, but it's also sort of shifted, because now it's ava's story too, and it's grown a lot around this initial seed :D

that's another thing i really love about writing. because you take a seed and then the story grows out of it, and who knows if it's a flower or a tree by the end?

Things i am excited to get to ...

So, i am in the 6th draft now. a friend finished her beta read in ... july? i think? and i haven't gone back to it since then due to various reasons (but mainly uni and No Time To Write). previously i'd hoped that i could finally leave it be structurally, and just do line edits and stuff (my beloathed kjdjfd). turns out the first act is still too slow and needs some reworking. and all reworking i'd done previously hadn't done the trick, so i guess shifting things a bit isn't enough!

but thankfully my wonderful friends @ettawritesnstudies (and @thehollowbetween and @lady-redshield-writeswith research) helped me figure out some stuff with how i can solve the issues, maybe. and what i'm most excited about is that this will include the addition of early days sound recording technology now, and possibly also early stages photography (like daguerreotypes maybe?), because it fits into the world and story and plot so seamlessly as though i'd planned it from the start (particularly with the mcs' mother being an engineer/inventor)!

so basically there are some scenes now that offer a view into the past of my characters through really old recordings that degrade as you listen to them, because i have gotten very :hypereyes: at that kind of tech and the wonderful(ly evil) things i can do with it. :3

I am VERY excited about diving deeper into the research and then figuring out how to rework the story, and then actually writing the sixth draft for nanowrimo this year :D

So... sorry for the ramble, thank you so much for the ask and your interest, and i hope you have a wonderful day :D

[foxstens]

played some indie metroidvania demos and i have Opinions

haak - the only one on this list that is actually out. this isn't super popular i think but i have seen it mentioned a few times on r/metroidvania as a game with amazing movement. yeah... i don't agree. i did like the music and the visuals but the game had too much dialogue, a confusing health bar, and the movement just felt okay, nothing special to me. the aiming grappling hook thingy i did not like at all, it's not very keyboard friendly and is ultimately why i don't want to try the full game. and the thing is you can make a keyboard-friendly aiming ability, ori did it 8 years ago lmao

paradiso guardian - this is coming out in a few days, it's apparently going to have both a sfw and nsfw version, and it has the lgbtq+ tag on steam - obviously i can't not play it. as for the game itself, it is very heavily inspired by the gba castlevania games, and while it has really nice music and art, it also has the problems those games had such as clunky movement, endlessly spawning enemies, no way to deal with enemies above or below you, at least in the beginning. the starting weapon doesn't really have range and it's very slow, so i hope they'll fix it in the full release. honestly i hope i'll end up liking this.

constance - easily my favourite of the ones i've tried. i didn't play a lot because the default key bindings are abysmal, but it looks incredible, the animations are extremely smooth, the music is wonderful, and the story sounds interesting. it seems like you'll be relying on one resource to do multiple actions which kind of sucks but hopefully they'll refine it before the full release. the dev also seems very open to feedback which is nice.

the last faith - i've had my eye on this game since back when i first played blasphemous, because visually it's very reminiscent of that game, but i wasn't really a fan of the demo. the movement felt weird, the voice acting was pretty annoying, and honestly it felt way too reminiscent of blasphemous for me. but it still looks like it has potential, so i'll be keeping it on my list.

nine sols - this one i've had on my list for a while as well since visually it's very reminiscent of okami, and i'm so mad it took me so long to find out it has a demo. this game is about as amazing as expected, even the demo supports four freaking languages and the keys are fully rebindable. it of course looks and sounds incredible, and its only flaw is that the dash doesn't work in the air and it has a long cooldown. that's it, otherwise perfection. i cannot wait.

awaken: astral blade - it's a bit rough around the edges, it has some of the flaws afterimage had but it looks and sounds great, and it's honestly a lot of fun. it seems to have flown under the radar but i'm really looking forward to it.

astra: fading stars - i can't say i loved the beginning of the demo and the movement of the protagonist is a bit... off for some reason, however it has beautiful music and the weapon you use is really nice. you can swing up and down and it has great range, i love it. the bar is on the floor when it comes to a basic weapon but it's surprising how few games even have this. very chill, i love it

aestik - it got some flak bc apparently it's too similar to hollow knight but honestly? i liked it. it seems to have its own identity imo and i had a lot of fun, and there's nothing wrong with games taking inspiration as long as they don't turn into whatever lotus knight wanted to be lmao.

there's a bunch of other games on my wishlist that don't have a demo or an announced release date so it's really only now that i'm in a ~shortage of stuff to play :/

the future of indie games seems really promising tho, especially for metroidvanias

[spencersawkward]

if you feel comfortable with it, I’d love a prof Spence where reader is a student and goes to office hours to initiate ~smutty goodness~ but Spencer is reluctant at first bc his job but they flirt more and eventually sleep together

me n my professor kink when i saw this: 😏 anyway yes i am quite comfortable writing about this lol. i took some ✨creative liberties✨ with your request so i'm sorry if it isn't exactly what you wanted! 

summary: reader is a student in Dr. Reid’s class, but she’s been something of a poor student-- office hours are the only solution.

relationship: Fem!Reader/Professor!Spencer

content warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, fingering, rough sex, super brief hair-pulling, creampie, dirty talk, spanking, age gap, degradation-- he gets pretty dominant oops.

word count: 4.5k

masterlist

popping in a piece of gum, I make my way to the back of the hall. there are a few people here already, but it's a little early. I'm never early. in fact, I'm usually late; my other class is on the other side of campus, and getting here involves a lot of embarrassing speed-walking.

but here I am, five minutes ahead of schedule and actually in a decent seat. as I flip open my textbook and pull my laptop out of my bag to prepare to take notes, my gaze slides down to the corner of the room, where Dr. Reid is standing up with a pile of papers. he walks over to the girl in the front row, handing her the stack and gesturing for her to pass it along.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. he's a total luddite. the first day, Dr. Reid spent about ten minutes rambling about the importance of reading from a physical book rather than online sources-- which, although I definitely agree with, means a lot more lugging around folders and organizing all the readings he gives out. if he wasn't so hot, I would have switched into another course.

and I know it's wrong to be daydreaming about my professor slamming me into a wall while he discusses the intricacies of quantum theory. the complete cliché of it is embarrassing. but still, I just can't stop thinking about him: how his fingers would feel around my throat, the smooth wooden surface of his desk against my cheek as he bends me over and pulls my panties to the side--

"glad to see you've decided to join us, today, Ms. Y/L/N." Dr. Reid's voice startles me out of my thoughts. he's standing towards the front of the room while students file in. his hands are resting in his pockets with his eyebrows pleasantly raised.

"glad to see you've noticed." I retort, too irritated with his comment to care about being polite.

a couple people look at me. even though I'm generally not on time, he tends to just glance my way when I walk in and leaves it at that. I know he doesn't like it, although I personally don't care. I hate this course.

he seems visibly surprised by my response but doesn't reply, gaze lingering on mine before he turns to speak to a student trying to get his attention. I bite back a smile. fucking asshole.

as usual, Dr. Reid writes in his thin, messy lettering on the board while wandering around the front of the room. he's quite fidgety, even though his voice doesn't betray any sort of nervousness. it's like he's naturally overactive.

every word out of his mouth is enunciated, sometimes spoken faster when he gets particularly impassioned by the subject. he's interesting to look at, too. messy curls and a nice suit, stubble that straddles the line between refinement and ruggedness.

I type quickly, but it isn't fast enough and the strange illustrations he does on the board only complicate things. I try to write them down in my notebook, but my handwriting is jagged; sometimes it's hard to read. when a student raises her hand for a clarification, I take the opportunity to catch up.

my head jerks up as soon as I'm finished and he's looking at me while he speaks. even from so many feet away, the intensity strikes me. he's gesticulating and crossing the room. I hold eye contact.

I wonder if he dates often; a couple of the girls in my row always stare at him throughout the lectures. he seems to be completely unaware of the effect he has on people. sometimes I'll see him in the hallway and he has his nose buried in a book, or a to-go cup of coffee, or both. either way, there seems to be no more room in that head of his for romance.

which, naturally, makes me curious about how he looks when he's on the edge of orgasm. if that composure is replaced with a contorted pleasure. I want to break him.

it's like he can read my thoughts, because Dr. Reid averts his gaze. my stomach twists with a strange anticipation. he avoids looking my way for the rest of the time.

towards the end of class, I start to pack my things to go. I have three papers to write, and my utter lack of interest in this is making me eager to leave. I shove my textbook into my bag the second my professor starts to make closing remarks.

"don't forget that we have a midterm in two weeks!" he says in a slightly louder voice as people start to move around. "if you have any questions, my office hours are posted on the bulletin board outside."

at this, my eyebrows rise. I forgot about the midterm. I have a study calendar set up for all my subjects, but I've purposefully been putting this one off. I'm not super into math. and it doesn't help that most of my time is spent not listening. when I am, it doesn't make sense.

as I stand up and gather my stuff, I hear someone clearing their throat a couple feet away. my head turns to see Dr. Reid leaning against his desk.

"Ms. Y/L/N, can I see you for a second?"

my heart stutters in my chest. is this about my attitude? he's never asked to see me outside of lessons before.

I frown, making my way to him with a deliberate pace. the tension in the room builds as I watch the last of his students shuffle out of the room. my head turns from the door to him; my breath catches a little in my throat at the set of his jaw. part of me hopes I get yelled at.

"I'm concerned about your participation in this class." he says. his voice isn't cruel, but it is brutally honest— which is worse. participation? I feel my fist clench at my side. my professors don't usually say anything if you aren't doing things up to their expectations; if you aren't, then they give you a bad grade. simple as that.

"is this about me being late?" I ask. he lets out a sigh before answering. he sounds disappointed.

"you're constantly tardy, and when you hand in your homework, you barely seem to have put in the effort. it's messy."

"messy?" I start to get annoyed. I'm only doing this so that I can get my degree. it's a fucking requirement. even though I'm not the biggest fan of mathematics, I still do my best and hand in my assignments on time. plus, the latest I arrive is five minutes-- it's not like I'm stumbling in halfway through the lesson.

"you've never come to office hours to ask for help or explained your lateness, which I, as your professor, would have appreciated." he scolds. honestly, I don't know what to say. my eyes narrow.

"I have my studio class on the other side of campus." I explain. "I should have emailed about that and I'm sorry, but I'm also not being lax about my work."

he goes around to the other side of his desk and glances up at me while he organizes some loose documents to pack away. he looks way too good when he's exasperated: his hands tighten around the papers, his eyebrows come together in this cute way. his tie is a little crooked, too.

"are you struggling with the content?"

"sometimes, yeah. but I can handle reaching out for help if I need it." I reply. he's pissing me off with these questions. I can see from the expression on his face that he's surprised by my reaction.

"really?" he slides some books into his messenger bag. that was definitely sarcastic; I know it was. "because it doesn't really seem like you have."

"I like to find help on my own." I shoulder my bag and cross my arms over my chest. there's no way he's gonna talk to me like that and expect me to not respond in kind.

"I'm reserving a slot on Wednesday evening for you," he looks up and holds my gaze. hazel irises that dare me to challenge him further. "I want you in office hours so that we can figure out how you're gonna catch up before the midterm."

"fine." I turn on my heel and leave. I know I'm not supposed to talk to my professor like that, or even to behave with such apprehension. but something about him makes me angry in the kind of way that settles in my stomach. I hate that he's right. I'm not going to do well on that damn test if I don't get some help.

but that doesn't mean I can't have some fun with it.

when I rush into his office on Wednesday evening, the sun is just starting to set through his window. there's a pinkish glow that smooths over Dr. Reid's desk as he glances up at me. I had to run to get here.

"you're late." he nods to the clock on the wall. I roll my eyes.

"only one minute, though. I had another class."

he sighs and folds his hands on his desk. "how are you doing today, Ms. Y/L/N?" a strangely polite question for the look on his face. he's frustrated with me.

"I'm quite well, Dr. Reid." I smile brightly, slightly excited by the anger on his face, and sit at the chair in front of his desk.

"I didn't know you were interested in art." he says simply. I'm confused for a moment before I remember that I told him that the course before his is a studio lesson.

"I didn't know you cared."

"do you make a habit of that?" he quirks an eyebrow.

"of what?" my expression is saccharine.

"being rude to people who control your grades."

"unless you're considering being unethical in your practices and allowing your personal opinion of me to influence my grade, then no." I counter. he's silent for a moment, taking in my words like they've left a mark on him.

"well, you'd most likely fail if I asked you to leave my office hours right now. whose fault would that be?" he fidgets with his hands and leans forward just a bit, his voice dropping to a lower tone. I bite back a smile.

"you wouldn't."

"and why is that?" he baits.

"because you're not a shitty professor, Dr. Reid," I lean back in my chair and cross my legs. "as angry as you are, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you kicked me— a struggling student— out of here for giving you a little attitude."

"a little attitude?" he scoffs. "you've spent the whole semester completely ambivalent."

"not completely." I shrug.

"Y/N, you draw all over your tests and leave at least one problem half-finished every time. you obviously aren't learning." he chuckles mirthlessly. I concede this point; I like to doodle when I'm bored. and there's absolutely nothing more boring to me than numbers.

"okay," I sit up and rest my elbows on the edge of his desk, staring at him. "then teach me."

Dr. Reid holds my gaze for a long moment. we're suspended, it seems, as his lips part and he finds himself speechless. the way I said the words obviously has another layer to it-- he just has to decide whether or not to take the bait.

"what are you struggling with?" he clears his throat and sits up a bit straighter in his seat. that answers my question, I guess. I poke my tongue between my teeth gently, but then pull out my notebook and flip it to a page with some problems outlined on it.

"these." I toss the thing onto his side and he begins to run through the assignment. I watch him pick up a pen and start to explain the steps, slipping into his usual educational tone. his shoulders relax a little as he writes.

I can't see right from the angle I'm at, so I stand and come around onto his side. I hear him pause his speaking for a moment at my proximity, but he doesn't move away.

"does that make sense?" he asks me once he's finished running through the first problem. he basically did all the work. the professor's head turns to gauge my reaction to the explanation, but his eye line is right at the hem of my skirt-- which is already pretty short. for all his attempts to be subtle, he gulps and looks up at me.

"mostly." I brush a piece of hair behind my ear and pretend to scratch at a spot on my upper thigh, dragging the edge of my skirt with it until he can see the smooth skin beneath, practically begging for his touch. "can I ask you a question?"

"sure." he keeps his eyes almost too focused on mine. I try to hide the smile tugging at my lips. now or never, I guess.

"what's your policy on professor/student relationships?"

"my-- my what?" this time, he's audibly scattered when he turns to me. his eyes are wide, dark. even he can't hide his feelings.

"you know," I run my fingertips over the tweed shoulder of his jacket. I can sense the tension beneath his clothes. "like, your policy on fucking a student."

"I--" his cheeks turn pink. he's flustered, albeit not rejecting my touch. "I've never had to think about it before."

"hmm," I look off to the side as if considering this point. his chair is fully turned to face me now, and I'm standing in front of him, almost completely his for the taking. all he has to do is close the gap. "well, what are you thinking about it right now?"

"it's wrong." he stumbles over the words.

"why?"

"well, I mean, you're a student--"

"for a semester that's almost over." I cut him off. he opens and closes his mouth. I take a deep breath, toying with the hem of my skirt. "I know you've been looking at me during class."

"w-what?"

"you're pretty good at hiding it, but you call on me a lot and you get all messed up when I hold eye contact too long during lectures." I say.

he looks down and back up apologetically. he's just sitting there, lap wide open. so I do what any sane girl in my position would do: I climb into it, straddling him and resting my arms around his neck. he sucks in a breath.

"you pretend I'm such a pain," I lean down by his ear, my core drawing over his pants. he tenses as I speak. "but you like that I'm your little problem."

"Y/N..." he trails off, but his hips are bucking up into mine.

"see?" I look between our bodies at his movements, then at him. I smirk as I look into those lust-darkened eyes. after a moment of him not speaking, I straighten. "look, I'll leave you alone if it really bothers you--"

as I start to get off his lap, he grabs me and pulls me back down. the force hits my center at just the right angle and I let out a slight mewl. he hears the sound and before I can register the pleasure, he grabs my face and yanks me closer to kiss him.

god, he feels so good. I rock my hips against his while our lips pass over each other hungrily. so much tension built up over the past few months, so many thoughts I've had of him, now coming to fruition. it's amazing.

"not so 'wrong' now, is it?" I chuckle against his mouth.

"shut up." he orders. one moment of broken contact to slide my top over my head and throw it on the floor.

I sigh as he starts to kiss across my jaw and down my throat. "I like when you talk like that, Dr. Reid."

one hand grips my hips tighter and he releases a groan against my skin.

"is that why you're such a fucking brat in my class?" he bites my collarbone and I moan. "because you want me to put you in your place?"

"mhmm." I hum. his fingertips move under my skirt, sliding up my thighs and toying with the waistband of my panties. he teases me by grazing my slit over the fabric, inhaling sharply at the wet patch.

"sitting in the back of my room, fucking dripping..." he mumbles to himself as he starts to rub me.

"touch me." I breathe out, trying to gain the friction that I need.

"not if you're gonna be a brat." he removes his hand and I let out a frustrated noise as I try to find the pressure I need elsewhere by grinding down on him. he grunts at the way I pant into his mouth, trying to kiss him with every chance I get. his lips are so smooth and sweet against mine. there's something affectionate about it even in its ferocity.

"I'll be good." I practically beg.

"that's what I thought." he slides his tongue over his bottom lip as he watches me whimper on top of him.

"come on, Spencer..." I use the name for the first time and he grabs my face in his hand, squeezing my cheeks.

"not my name, sweetheart." he stares into my eyes expectantly and I smirk.

"you're fucked up, doctor."

"so are you."

after he says that, he lifts me off his lap and stands up, pushing between my shoulder blades until my face is pressed onto the desk. I let out a needy whine, wiggle my ass back in hopes of finding his crotch, but he's not willing to give me that, yet.

instead, he gently touches my skirt, flipping it up so that he can see my ass. immediately, he starts to knead it. my palms are pressed flat against the desk with anticipation, silently thankful that my panties are still on. I think I'd be dripping down my thighs if they weren't.

"are you gonna be more respectful?" his voice is low, one hand tracing over my back. I shake.

"mhmm."

"I won't spank you if you don't use your words, sweetheart."

"yes." I choke out, no longer wanting to give any sort of resistance. I had no idea there was this side of him, and I love it.

he loves it too, apparently, because his hand comes down sharply on my ass. I yelp at the contact and he runs his fingers over the point of impact, rubbing the flesh gently.

"too hard, baby?" he checks.

"harder." I beg. I can't see his face, but I can sense his smile as if it's my own. his palm hits me again, and I gasp.

"you like being punished?"

"yes." strangled and desperate.

he slips his finger beneath the fabric of my panties, collecting my essence and letting out a quiet moan when he feels me. I push my hips against his fingers, partly expecting him to remove all the pressure, but he doesn't bother waiting.

he slips his index inside and I gasp. starts to push in and out, his silence proving his arousal. I can practically feel his eyes on me. the pace increases a bit and he slides in his middle finger. I buck against the desk.

"oh fuck!" I cry out as he starts to go faster. he curls them against my walls and I arch my back.

"two fingers and you're already breaking?" Spencer chuckles as he moves inside me. he keeps one hand on my ass while he does it, starting to finger me at a ridiculous speed while I pant and moan and cry.

"I--" I gulp down air. "I need you in it."

he bends down by my ear, never breaking his rhythm. my legs are shaking from the force. "you need my cock?"

"yes," I feel myself closing in around him. "god, yes."

"you're lucky I wanna fuck you so bad." he mutters. I grin as I hear the clink of his belt coming undone, the sliding through the belt loops, the sound of him stripping down to nothing. I can feel my excitement on the inside of my thighs, spread around by his reckless fingers as he removes my panties and skirt.

he grinds himself against my pussy, coating himself in me, while he releases low, longing moans. I suck in a breath when the head pushes in, every inch pushing me open a little more. I don't have the ability to form words, so I bite my lip and grip onto the edge of the desk until my knuckles turn white.

his breath stops for a moment before he groans.

"so ready for me."

he's not even all the way in, and he has to pause to let me adjust. when he taps the inside of my thigh for me to part them more, I do it quickly and beg him to fill me up. I can barely take the pressure between my hips, but it burns in an inviting way.

"keep going." I direct him. he runs his hands over the curve of my waist and starts to thrust into me at a rate that leaves me panting. it's not too fast or slow, just impatient and needy. every sound that spills from his lips turns me on more.

"where'd the attitude go, huh?" he digs his hips into mine. his cock hits my cervix and I squeak against the wood, but he holds my back down. I don't even try to argue with him, too overcome with the pleasure that's coursing through my limbs. he starts to build up his speed. "don't have much to say when you're getting fucked?"

"Dr. Reid--" I moan.

he plows into me so hard, the desk shifts on the floor and he grabs my ass with both hands.

"take it, baby. fucking take it."

I get up on my elbows to look behind me, just to glimpse how he looks as he gets closer. his curls have fallen more in his face, and his shirt is gone. I want to touch him desperately, to feel the lovely skin of his torso and arms and everything else, but he keeps me down for the most part. all I get is the sight of his mouth open and his hips moving quickly against mine.

"look at me, there you go." he grabs my face and holds me there, our eyes locked. mine are welling at the sheer overwhelming pleasure inside, but his are dark and intense. they search mine for something I can only hope to offer.

"that feels so good, Dr. Reid." I pant. he bites his lip as he watches my mouth hanging open in lecherous shock.

"I bet it does," he explores my body. "coming in here, hoping I fuck you like you deserve. you're lucky I'm going easy on you."

"thank you." I whine.

"you might need some extra lessons, yeah?" he grunts out, moving into me with a bruising force.

"yes, please." I whisper. my voice is practically gone at this point, my mind entirely focused on the knot building in my stomach.

"what was that, baby?" he pulls my hair gently.

"yes— fuck— yes, please, Dr. Reid."

"what a beautiful girl." he smirks. I whimper when he runs his fingernails down my ribcage. I can feel it coming from the way he starts to move tumultuously, every thrust pushing harder and seeking more release. it's fervent, how he takes me and grips my hips like the force itself will push him over the edge.

"I'm so close..." I breathe out as I try for as much friction as I can.

"show me," he drops down so his stomach is flush to my back. "show me how you cum, Y/N."

the way he says my name-- husky and warm and full of lust-- causes me to snap. I cry out as he reaches around to clamp a hand around my mouth, climaxing and pulsing around his dick as I drop down against the surface again. I want him to finish inside, so I do my best to keep him here. and his thrusts are getting more staccato as he chases the sensation my walls create.

"can I fill you, angel?" he asks. he's breathing right by my ear, and the feeling is sending shivers down my spine. I love how his weight feels.

"yes." I moan and he slides his fingers into my mouth. I suck on them while he orgasms, jerking into my pussy and letting out unholy sounds of ecstasy. he says unintelligible things in the throes of his orgasm. pounds into me until I'm sure I won't be able to walk tomorrow.

"jesus christ, Y/N." he slows to a stop. when he pulls his cock out of me, the absence makes me whine. I miss his body already.

"oh my god." I clench my hands into fists as I try to catch my breath. I'm still bent over the desk as though I've been completely sapped of all my energy. I suppose I have. he doesn't touch me for a moment in the spirit of letting me recover from the small shudders still running over my skin.

"that was great." he says after we've both had time to fill our lungs. I push myself onto my elbows again.

"correct." I grin and straighten up more until I'm standing. he stares at me, at the cum now dripping down my legs, entranced.

"let me get you something to clean up." he snaps out of it a little. I can't stop looking at him, either, in love with the way he moves and the way he breathes after exerting himself on my body.

"come here." I bite my lip. for some reason, despite what we just did, this is scarier than everything else. he steps closer and I reach up, kiss him softly. part of me worries that he'll pull away and be terrified. maybe that he'll tell me that I've read too much into this.

he's much gentler than before. our first kiss was full of need and primal desire, but this is more affectionate. I remove myself from his embrace.

"okay, you can go now." I giggle. his fingertips linger on my waist and he smiles. I push his shoulder. "I literally have your cum all over me-- go."

"fine." he starts to put his clothes on.

"does this mean I get an A?" I joke. Spencer shakes his head.

"nice try. when we're done cleaning you up, we're gonna sit down and figure this out."

I let out a whine, and he kisses my cheek before looking me in the eyes. "it'll be fun. I promise."

"math is not fun."

"I can't believe I like a girl who doesn't enjoy such a beautiful subject." he rolls his eyes and I giggle. he's perfect.

[imaginethebeautifulworld]

Let’s say England has a long-term girlfriend he knows isn’t the biggest fan of marriage bc her family had been really really pushy (before she got the heck out of dodge) about her marrying + reproducing ASAP. How might he react if she came to him and said she was kinda starting to like the general concept of marrying him — that is, the whole ‘together forever’ bit. Thanks!

I confess darling that I have been trying to finish this prompt for well over a year, and I offer my sincerest apologies that it’s taken me this long to finish it. Still, despite my tardiness, I hope you enjoy, and I thank you for your patience with me.

You had never intended to fall in love, not with the constant push of your relatives to fall in line like a perfect child.

First, marriage to someone they deemed acceptable, raising the perfect 2.5 children, followed by quietly settling into parenthood and complaisant contentment until the day you last drew breath.

Truth of the matter was, you had avoided all chances of romance for the first few years after you moved away from home, carefully slipping away from anyone who seemed remotely interested in you.

You knew your folks would have disproved such behaviour had they learnt the truth, but you couldn’t find it in your heart to care. You had your own dreams to pursue, your own story to tell, your own life to live; you didn't need someone by your side to feel complete.

You were happy as you were, finding enjoyment in your work and figuring out your place in the world.

You didn’t need, or frankly want, anything more than that.

That was of course until you met him.

Falling in love with Arthur Kirkland had been a complete accident. He slipped past all of your defenses and took up residence in your heart as if he had always belonged there.

It started out slow enough; at first you simply knew him as a familiar face from the cafe in Waterstones, steaming cup of Darjeeling and a chocolate croissant sitting forgotten on the table in front of him, always too focused on his reading to pay any attention to the outside world. After one particularly crowded Sunday afternoon, he began to transition into your favorite dining companion, the two of you often taking turns paying for each other’s food. Slowly but surely, you began forgetting about your books, too wrapped up in conversation, and before you knew it-

You had come to love every part of him- the gentleman that you begrudgingly introduced to your parents, the rebellious and passionate activist, the cocky and playful little shit who had long ago memorised all the best ways to disarm you, and the ancient soul who cared so deeply, who still stretched himself thin most days in effort to protect each of his loved ones.

You fell in love with his voice, whispering sonnets and sonatas and sweet nothings in your ear while his arms cradled you from behind.

You fell in love with his eyes, still losing your footing sometimes when the light caught them just right, dreaming momentarily of summer forests and grassy glades and the misty dews of spring.

You fell in love with his smiles, from the satisfied grin at stirring up Peter’s ire to the breathless wonder each time you kissed or complimented him, to the bright, beautiful, blinding smile he wore when he was incandescently happy, his entire countenance iridescent from his joy.

You loved him completely- for his devotion, for his sweet gestures, for his damned impishness, for his wit, his sass, and the soft spoken affection.

You loved him: for his patience, for his recklessness, for his resilience, for his possessive pride that was somehow more charming than alarming.

He was unique, an enigma that, even after having lived together for years and dating even longer, kept you on your toes, his energy and random spouts of spontaneity proving to you that, even if you spent one hundred lifetimes with him, he would always remain a puzzle you would never fully solve.

And by God did you want to.

Arthur had stolen your heart away from you before you had even noticed he was close enough to take it, offering his own in its stead.

You had remained reluctant, confided in him your fears about settling down, how much you dreaded becoming trapped in a monotonous rut of tedium. He was quick to reassure you, showing through words and actions far more impassioned and teasing than he had ever shown prior, that an eternity with him could never be boring.

Even on quiet days, like today, with a steady drizzle painting the world in greys, Arthur humming quietly while adding another patch to his denim vest, and no other disturbance apart from the cat’s chittering at the robins playing in a puddle by the iron fence- Even now, you weren’t so much bored as you were pensive.

You had been thinking about a future with him a lot in the past few days, some irrelevant ad on your mobile about wedding venues catching your attention and slithering into the back of your mind.

What kind of wedding would he like? Would Arthur prefer something small and intimate, or would his hubris crave a larger venue, giving him yet another chance to prove to the world that he belonged at your side, no one else?  You couldn’t help but wonder if he would wear his uniform or a suit, if he would leave the rats' nest he called a hairstyle untouched, or if he would perhaps slick it back in that way that somehow made the normal rakishness disappear, a confident, refined cavalier standing in his place.

You knew of course that none of this mattered unless you actually talked to him first; as far as you were aware, he was content with the current arrangement, and he respected your views of marriage.

He had known, for a long time, just where the grim outlook stemmed from, and he never breached the subject again.

But now-

You had thought it was enough to hold his love, his faith, his vulnerabilities. But life was so fleeting, and now those few things were no longer enough.

You wanted to wake up every morning next to him, wanted the cheesy partners’ towel and flip flop sets. You wanted the physical reminder that you held his heart, the comforting reminder that he completely possessed your own. You wanted to be by his side forever, holding his hand through the good and the ill, facing new worlds and challenges and the uncertain future together.

You knew the risks, of course.

Marriage to a Nation carried an even heavier burden than the simple oath of “till death do us part.”

No, marrying Arthur would mean weaving your entire lives together, binding you on a spiritual level far surpassing mortality; it would mean sacrificing your chance to ever grow old, to eternally give yourself away: heart, mind, body, and soul.

But this was Arthur, who sang showtunes in the shower, who spent hours making silly faces at the cat, who was ridiculously competitive about Halloween costumes, the man who sat down and memorised the entirety of The Tempest in one night just for the bragging rights.

He already owned your heart, constantly invaded your thoughts and daydreams, and God knew he had long, long ago claimed your body, making certain not a single millimeter of his new territory went unexplored.

Would it really be so bad to give him your soul, too?

Glancing back up, seeing his eyes narrowed in concentration, his fingers handling the needle with expert precision, lips slightly parted, reading glasses fallen halfway down his nose-

You knew your answer.

It was always going to be Arthur for you, only Arthur.

Forever, should he have you.

But now you faced the challenge of telling him that.

It should be simple enough; you really held no more secrets from him, and he no longer bothered trying to hide anything from you. You loved how open you were with one another, cherished the honesty that served as the very foundation to your relationship.

But the truth was that you were terrified.

It had been so long since either of you had spoken of marriage, since the topic was even a thought in your minds, and-

What if he didn't want you anymore?

What if he-

"I can see the steam coming outta your ears."

The unexpected presence of Arthur's voice startled you, eyes darting back over to the very man who was unwittingly tormenting you.

He had barely moved from his earlier position, though his glasses had been pushed up into his hair and he was studying you curiously, if not bemusedly.

"You good there?"

By default, you nearly responded with an affirmative, some playful, lighthearted thing that would have dismissed his concern immediately. You cut yourself off mid-start, then, while shifting to sit properly in the armchair, you decided to push forward. "Can we talk?"

You watched as his expression shifted, revealing his concern as he tied off his thread, setting aside the patchwork and gestured for you to join him on the sofa.

There were a few awkward moments where you took up your favourite positions, Arthur tossing an afghan across the pair of you despite your insistence that you didn't need one, the flicker of a grin as you begrudgingly thanked him, and then shifting around as you both got comfortable, but soon enough-

"Alright, now; talketh at-eth me."

It was impossible to fight the smile his choice of words triggered, a reference to an inside joke so old now that you could scarcely recall its origin. Seeming to deem it a success, his own soft, reassuring smile greeted you.

"Seriously though, luv-" His hand came to rest atop your own, his fingers gently tapping a familiar rhythm against your skin. "What's troubling you?"

You were half-tempted to offer something short of sincerity, something innocuous and mundane that you could both laugh over and forget again within a few hours. Yet, you knew that if you didn't tell him now, didn't ask him now, you would never find the courage again.

"I've been thinking-"

"Ah. A scary premise in its own right."

"Oh, shut up," you retorted to his tease, smacking his arm for his troubles. He rewarded you with a grin, all fondness and mischief. Opting to ignore him, you pressed on, eyes downcast to avoid whatever judgement he may offer.

"As I was trying to say earlier, before I was so rudely interrupted-" The teasing fell off, and the worry crept back in. "I've been thinking. About us."

"O-oh?"

Were you not so consumed by your own anxieties, you would have noticed his stutter, would have seen the sudden tension in his posture, the fear in his eyes. As it was, you were completely oblivious to all of it, and made yourself continue at his prompting.

"I- I think I'm ready."

He mimed the word "ready" to himself, parroting it with utter befuddlement. "For wha-"

"I mean, I know I wasn't for such a long time, and-" Suddenly, you were off, half unhinged. Now that you had admitted the truth aloud, it was all rushing out of you, everything you had come to love about him, everything that-

A finger pressing firmly against your lips stopped you mid-tangent, and when you glanced up to find piercing, blazing emerald focused on you as if you were the very center of the universe, whatever remained of your ramblings disappeared entirely.

"What are you trying to say?"

A simple question, so easy to answer, yet it carried with it the weight of Infinities, demanding nothing save the truth, in its most basic state.

You were lost in his gravity, half-drowning in whatever this new feeling was. It was addicting, another riddle to be solved.

"Marry me."

Time stood still, the words weighing heavily in the space between you, now seemingly insurmountable despite being no more than mere decimeters.

Arthur showed no reaction, revealed no indication that he had even heard your plea, your query, your command, your request, and yet it echoed over and over in your own mind, the tone, the weight, the untimeliness-

Every facet- from your inflection to chosen tempo- crescandoed as an accusation, a mocking symphony that he would reject you, that you would be left with only the haunting strains of your ill-conceived proposal.

And yet-

There was a hesitation in his eyes, the face of a man who wanted wholeheartedly to believe what he had heard, but had been burned far too often in the past to dare allow himself hope.

"You-" His eyebrows furrowed, eyes narrowed as he studied you once more, only for the suspicion to disappear again almost immediately, disbelief swiftly taking its place. "You're serious?"

It was then that you finally read his nervousness, understood the strange emotion reflecting in his eyes.

You had lead him to a precipice, the vast Unknown before you both, and-

And he was just as fragile as you were, even if he was better at hiding it.

You gave his hand a light squeeze, hoping to ground you both, and offered him a nod. “If you’ll have me, anyway.”

His eyes flickered between your own, darting back-and-forth so quickly in search of a lie, of any doubts, of any hint that you were less than certain- yet you knew he would find none of that.

“What about your family?”

The question took you by surprise; in the moment, you had completely forgotten anyone else even existed.

You weighed his question carefully. Marrying Arthur would give your family leave to gloat in self-satisfaction, and you knew with absolutely certainty that they would hold it over your head for the next three decades. But looking into the eyes of the man before you, remembering all that you had already seen and done together, you found that others' opinions no longer mattered, really hadn't mattered in a long, long time.

“I couldn’t care less about them. Arth-”

Whatever you were going to say was forgotten as he closed the remaining distance between you, moving so swiftly that you scarcely had a moment to steady yourself before he captured you in a searing kiss, one of his most passionate by far.

Somehow, despite the suddenness of it all, the initial force, the intensity- 

He was being incredibly gentle, and moving slowly enough to almost be more a torment than a treat. Almost.

You found yourself lost in a daze when he finally pulled away, just enough for each of you to catch your breaths, just far enough that he could study you with rapt attention. You could have drowned in his eyes, endless greens magnetizing in their intensity. His hands were still cradling your cheeks, still holding you firmly in place, a not completely foreign expression creasing his features.

You couldn't quite place it, even as your memories shifted desperately in search of its mate.

"'If I'd have you?'" His words, a rhetorical refrain of your own mere moments earlier, were scarcely a shared breath between you, murmured in timbre so low it summoned a shiver. There was the smallest twitch of his lip, his head tilting ever so slightly as more of that damned deviousness made its presence known. "I fully intend to have you regardless, luv. But the formality of it all certainly adds a particular je ne sais quoi, wouldn't you agree?"

You'd be damned if he knew just how that made your heart flutter, if he knew just how much weight that reassurance had lifted from your shoulders.

Carefree, content, you offered a playful smile. "Till death do us part then?"

Arthur no longer bothered trying to restrain his smile, soft and sincere in a way that left you breathless. "I'll love you till even the stars go cold, my dear."

Thanks for reading~