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#i keep adding shit because there's so much
sunkissed-zegras · 3 days
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𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 ─ PB⁵
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౨ৎ ─ summary | request -> "helloooo! can you write something about reader suspecting paige and azzi’s friendship to be more than a friendship (r and paige are a situationship or sum like that) and just paige reassuring her and saying that she has eyes only for her etc… (paige is literally obsessed with r)? thank you so much 💖💖💖💖💖"
─ word count | 1.3k
─ warnings | hurt to comfort, paige being sassy, reassurance and so much cute fluffy, a singular kiss
─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @euphternal @boiliatfu and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!
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YOU AND PAIGE had been friends for a while now, but it was just recently you'd been friends... and a little more.
It was something new, something fun and something secret. The only person who knows was KK only because she'd walked in on the two of you kissing, and now she swears she's "traumatized."
The secret relationship (of some sorts) between you and Paige added an exhilarating edge to your friendship. It was a thrill, the stolen glances, the secretive rendezvous, the whispered conversations laden with double meanings. You found yourselves drawn to each other in a way that went beyond friendship, yet you both reveled in the secretive nature of your relationship.
KK's discovery of your secret sent a ripple of panic through both of you at first. But unsurprisingly, she was more supportive than expected, despite her initial shock. After the initial awkwardness wore off, she became your confidante, the one person you could trust with your affair. She teased you both mercilessly, of course, but it was all in good fun.
But beneath the excitement, there was also a hint of panic. Keeping your newfound romance a secret added an element of danger, a thrill that was both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. The fear of being discovered lurked in the background, heightening every stolen moment and making each encounter feel all all the more precious.
Yet despite the risks, the connection between you and Paige only seemed to grow stronger. The shared laughter, the stolen kisses, the quiet moments of intimacy — they all served to deepen the bond between you, creating a private world that was uniquely yours.
But of course, it wasn't all smooth sailing.
──
"What do you mean?" Paige's tone had an annoyed edge to it as she sent you a glance. She pulled off a side of her headphones as she kept her eyes glued on the computer screen.
You sighed exasperatedly, sitting up on her bed as you sent her a glare. "What do you think I mean?"
Paige hated when you spoke like that, so secretive and cryptic, like you wanted her to say the wrong thing. She liked things laid out plain and simple, while you preferred to dance around topics, especially ones that felt too vulnerable.
"I don't know, that's why I asked." Paige's voice didn't soften as she spoke, her eyes glancing at you every once in a while. She just had the most tiring practices and the last thing she wanted to do was argue with you.
You huffed, feeling frustrated. "I feel like Azzi has a crush on you or something. I see the way she looks at you, it's like when I look at you — all heart eyes, and shit."
Paige's lips curved into a smirk. "Aww, are you saying you have heart eyes for me?"
"I'm being serious, P." You were frustrated. You hated when you felt insecure, especially in relationships. While Paige never gave you any reason to doubt her, she was just naturally enticing and that's what pulled you to her in the first place.
But that's also why others were so captivated by her. The looks she gets, the way people spoke about her and now the whole TikTok obsession wasn't helping. You hated it — you wanted everyone to know that she was yours, and vice versa.
"Okay, okay." Paige's expression was still very much amused as she glanced toward you. "You know me and Azzi are just friends, we're just really close. I promise you, I'd know if she had a crush on me."
"I have eyes, Paige." You shot back, frustration bubbling in your voice.
You couldn't shake the feeling of insecurity gnawing at you, no matter how much you trusted Paige. The thought of someone else vying for her attention filled you with a sense of unease that you couldn't shake. You also knew that there was still that boundary, you weren't her girlfriend and had no valid reason for you to be jealous.
Paige's eyes widened at your tone. You never called her just by her name, it was some kind of nickname or pet name. She sighed as she pulled her headset off and set it down, turning to face you.
"Hey," Paige began gently, reaching out to take your hand in hers. "You have to believe me when I say there's nothing going on between me and Azzi. She's just a really good friend and she's not into me, and even if she is,"
She paused as she shook her head in amusement at the mere thought. "I don't want her, I want you."
You sighed, still feeling frustrated. "I want to believe you, P. I really do. But it's hard, you know? Seeing how close you two are, and... and knowing that I don't have any claim over you."
She squeezed your hand reassuringly, offering you a small smile. "I know it's not easy, especially when we haven't defined what we are yet. But that doesn't change how I feel about you."
You looked up, meeting her gaze, searching for any sign of deceit. But all you found was sincerity in her eyes.
"I care about you, more than I can put into words," Paige continued softly. "And I want you to feel secure in what we have, even if it's not official. You mean a lot to me."
You couldn't help but feel a flutter in your chest at Paige's words. Despite your doubts, her sincerity shone through, washing away some of your insecurities. Her hand in yours felt warm and comforting, grounding you in the present as you allowed yourself to bask in the affection she offered.
"I trust you, Paige," you admitted, a small smile tugging at your lips. "And I care about you too, a lot."
"Besides," Paige continued, her tone playful as she leaned in closer, her breath warm against your ear. "Who needs Azzi when I've got you? You're the one I can't stop thinking about, the one who drives me crazy in the best possible way."
You couldn't help but chuckle at her words, feeling a rush of affection for the girl sitting beside you. As you leaned in to press a soft kiss to her cheek, Paige's expression shifted, a teasing glint entering her eyes.
"And uh, speaking of claims," she began, her tone teasing as she traced a finger along your jawline. "You know, I've been thinking about you a lot lately. Can't seem to get you out of my head."
Your breath caught in your throat as you felt a blush creep up your cheeks. "Oh, really? And what exactly have you been thinking about?"
Paige leaned in closer, her lips brushing against yours as she whispered, "Just how lucky I am to have you in my life. And how much I want to make you mine, officially."
Your heart skipped a beat at her words, warmth spreading through you at the intensity of her gaze. In that moment, any lingering doubts melted away, leaving only the affection you'd felt for Paige.
"But not right now 'cus this isn't as romantic as I want," she continued as you scoffed playfully. You leaned away slightly only to be pulled back by the blonde.
Paige's playful smirk widened as she pulled you back towards her. "Hey, don't pout. I promise when the time comes, it'll be unforgettable."
"So, you're really going to make me wait?" you teased, a grin spreading across your face as you leaned into her touch.
Paige smirked, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "I want it to be perfect, baby. But for now," she added, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your lips, "just know that I'm all yours."
The warmth of her lips against yours sent a shiver down your spine, igniting a spark of desire within you. "I'll hold you to that," you murmured against her lips, feeling a surge of affection for the woman in front of you.
Paige smiled against your lips, her fingers tangling in your hair as she deepened the kiss, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you.
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↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
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thenickgirl · 15 hours
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BSF!Nick HeadCanons
nick x fem!reader
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disclaimer: this is all fictional, and based on my own conclusions.
warnings: kinda long, very very self-indulgent, pure fluff, swearing.
Nick as your best friend:
⚤ he loves to spend time with you, always asking you to come over and keep him company.
⚤ the two of you are so close and so comfortable with each other that you tell each other everything, the good, bad, and the ugly.
⚤ he’s protective, not overly, but you always know that you’re safe with him. he’s not letting any hate get to you, and if it does he’s always there to comfort you. he doesn’t hesitate to put haters in their place when it comes to you, not caring about any backlash it could cause him.
⚤ you both send tik toks and instagram reels back and forth all day long.
⚤ you share locations with each other, and anytime he checks and sees that you’re somewhere he doesn’t recognize he’s calling you immediately:
“bitch! where the fuck are you???”
“nick, are you fr checking my location again?”
“yes, now take your fast ass home”
⚤ when you’re sick, he’ll come over and help take care of you. attempting (failing) to make you soup, but then decides to just order in from panera. he’ll cuddle up with you while you watch movies or some reality tv show.
⚤ he’s always teasing and making fun of you, you both playfully argue so much that people on the outside think you actually hate each other.
⚤ you’re on the phone with each other for literal hours, whether it’s texting, on a call, or on FaceTime.
⚤ if you’re in college, he’ll make sure you stay on top of your studies. he’ll never let you put off schoolwork just to go hang out with him:
“nick come onnn, i can study when i get back, it’s fine i promise”
“un uhh, nope! you’re not gonna blame me when your ass fails”
“but ni-“
“GO STUDY Y/N”
⚤ he loves when you go shopping or thrifting together. he’ll pick out outfits for you to try, and you do the same for him. the both of you hyping each other up when you come out of the dressing rooms.
“yesss girl, you look so amazing in that dress!”
“says you, i love that shirt on you, it’s definitely your color!”
⚤ he’s a big foodie, and so are you. so breakfast and/or lunch dates are a staple in your friendship. he loves going to your favorite restaurant or cafe to just sit and talk about whatever and whoever. sometimes you like to try out new places and add them to your list.
⚤ he’ll send you flowers or candy on valentine’s day because he’s such a sweetheart, and never wants you to feel alone or unloved.
⚤ he’s always gassing you. he never hesitates to call you pretty or gorgeous, saying how much he loves your outfit, your hair, or your new bag. he’s your number one hype man for sure. you of course, are the same way with him never passing up an opportunity to let him know he’s so handsome and the baddest bitch.
⚤ you’re pretty much the ceo of the nick defense team, always on go when it comes to people being disrespectful towards him.
⚤ he’s basically your personal photographer. he loves taking your pictures for you, and you love to brag about his skills. he loves when you take pictures together as well, adding them to his photo dumps, giving very much bff goals.
⚤ since he doesn’t drive he loves riding with you, he even bought a “passenger princess” sticker to put on your glovebox just for shits and giggles. sometimes you guys would just spend the day riding out, blasting music and singing along, snacking on the random goodies you pick up along the way, just simply enjoying each others company.
“bitches be quick but i’m quicker”
“bitches be thick but i’m thicker”
*both*
“SHE COULD BE RICH BUT IM RICHER!”
⚤ if you’re in a relationship or get into one, he’ll be very protective over you, yet respectful of your relationship. he’ll make friends with them, and try his best to get along for the sake of your friendship. he’ll even plan group outings so you all can hang out together and get to know each other.
⚤ however, the second you call him in the night crying, he’s ubering over to your house to comfort you. he’ll hug you and wipe your tears, reassuring you that you deserve so much better than them.
“you’re amazing and i love you so much, y/n. you didn’t deserve that, and if you want, we can go egg their car right now”
“you get the eggs, i’ll start the car”
“BET!”
⚤ he doesn’t believe in fighting with friends. any arguments between the two of you wouldn’t last very long, you’ll always end up talking things out and laughing about it later.
⚤ he loves to include in the videos, especially any challenges they do like the baking videos. you always get front seat if you’re ever in the car videos, and he makes sure you get to speak.
⚤ he absolutely loves the bond you have with his brothers, and you would tease him about liking one of them solely to get on his nerves:
“matt has been looking really good lately..”
“y/n i swear to god…”
“what?? i’m just being real”
“i’ll actually kill you both”
“bitch, shutttt up! you love me too much”
“you’re right. now stop talking about matt before i throw the fuck up”
⚤ if the stars happen to align where you and one of his brothers fall in love and actually get together, he’ll be so annoyed at first, not willing to share you. eventually he’ll be okay with it, just happy that you both are happy, as long as you keep the pda out of his line of sight.
⚤ he fucking loves your cooking. he knows better than get in your way by trying to help so he’ll sit at the table and watch you. you don’t mind his company at all while you’re cooking, even letting him taste test which he never refuses. he’s constantly calling or texting to see what’s on your menu:
“please please PLEASE tell me you’re cooking tonight. i cannot eat in n out again”
“well, i guess i am now”
⚤ you always have him, matt, and chris over on Sunday’s. you love giving them the ultimate sunday dinner experience. you make sure you cook more than enough so they have some to take home as well.
⚤ any time one of you sees those cute and fun best friend date activities on tik tok or instagram, you’re instantly texting it to one another, making plans to try it out.
⚤ when you take him out to the club or a just night out with the girlies, he’s having the time of his life. he’s hyping you up while you’re dancing and throwing it in a circle. he’ll capture every second to show to you later cause you’re so gone you won’t remember a thing. the next day he’s asking you to teach him how to twerk like that for the next outing.
⚤ since you have similar music taste, you love going to concerts and festivals together. all in coachella with your matching crop tops and boots, turning heads left and right. you two are literally glued to the hip the whole weekend, holding hands and jumping around, dancing to the beat just loving the experience.
⚤ he absolutely loves sleepovers, and he’ll always be the one to suggest them. he’ll have a space for you in his closet and at his sink because of how often you stay over.
“bro is there a reason you called me 15 times??”
“uh is this the body scrub that you use? i’m gonna get it for my bathroom so you don’t have to keep bringing yours every time”
“nick, you really could’ve just tex-“
“YES OR NO??!”
⚤ whenever you sleep over, you always do your nighttime and morning skin routines together. ‘faerie soirée’ playing softly on the portable speaker while you go through your skincare steps, singing along, and swaying your hips to the beat.
⚤ he is obsessed with the different ways you style your hair. his jaw drops every time you pull up with something new. he was completely gobsmacked when you showed up with a 30 inch bust down after just rocking your natural fro, then two weeks later in some knotless braids down to your knees. he’s always asking your opinion on his next hair color, but you beg him to keep his natural hair for a while longer.
⚤ he always waits to get his nails done with you so you both can match. in the days before your appointments with analysse, he’s sending you different ideas he sees on pinterest for you both to choose from only to ultimately decide to just let analysse freestyle.
⚤ when it comes to his brand, space camp, he’s always giving you the sneak peeks. he’ll let you be the first one to try the newest flavor because he trusts your judgment, and knows that you’ll always be honest with him:
“okay, what about this one? did you like it?”
“friend, i ain’t gone hold you…that shit nasty as fuck”
“well damn bitch, tell me how you really feel. okay, we’ll scrap that one”
⚤ he loves when you come to boston with him to visit his family. mary lou and jimmy absolutely adore you, and so does all his hometown friends nate, mckayla, and chloe.
⚤ the snap streaks between you two go crazy. you’re both constantly snapping each other the most random shit.
⚤ he’s always telling you about the guys he’s crushing on or talking to. he’ll ask you if you think they’re cute or not, and wants advice on what to say to them. if they send him nudes, better believe he’s immediately sending them to you for you both to talk (or laugh) about:
“girl you won’t believe what he just sent me”
“ouuu how big is it?”
“bitch, i’ve seen baby carrots bigger than that”
“BLOCKED!”
⚤ on halloween, you guys love to find matching costumes (when he’s not matching with matt and chris) and sometimes the four of you would find costumes to match together.
⚤ on your birthday, don’t be surprised to find yourself plastered all over his story. he’s posting a photo dump of you together with a lil paragraph, going on and on about how amazing his best friend is. you’ll have gifts galore from him, matt, and chris.
⚤ he’s super supportive of whatever you do, helping you in any way you can to achieve whatever it is you need to.
⚤ he’s the perfect best friend and he takes the bond that you have very seriously, never letting anyone or anything jeopardize it.
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🏷️: @muwapsturniolo @mattslolita @guccifrog @luverboychris @freshloveforthefit @matty-bear @sturniolossss @imsosillygoofylol @nickgetsmewetter @mybelovednick @moonk1ss3d @ghostking4m @certifiednatelover @meg-sturniolo
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FSR rambles 20
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If you go with the viz translation, Green might have considered he had to kill Vio in that fight lmfao.
I lean very much on he wasn't going to and wanted to just knock his ass out but the flicker of "Oh shit. I might have to do something horrible" is still a present thought added here.
Since we KNOW Vio has a scar from Blue tossing that rock, and Blue even brought up he wonders how bad Green's scar is Green clutching his stomach here is uhhhh. Concerning haha.
Not beating the "Vio fucked up your stomach" allegations there Green.
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Dark Link might have not really gotten the POINT of Green remembering this fight.
or maybe he's just too distracted to care.
Green's fucking face when Dark says "I LIKE VIO TOO!" gets a fucking laugh out of me because holy shit he looks pissed.
Like the audacity of that statement given everything is so funny.
Dark flipping hair colors depending on who he's imitating/talking about is just a fun visual detail and makes me very happy this comic is in color.
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Jealousy...It's best served with Depression From Dark Link.
Because dude just keeps sinking back into a depressive state. It's almost like Dark just, doesn't want to talk about himself at all with Green.
He'd rather Green talk about himself/his experiences.
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SOooo since I'm here to give all the answers:
"Why WAS Dark crying in this scene?"
Cause of Vio.
He was crying Vio's tears.
His hair has changed to vio's color, and he doesn't even realize he's crying till Green points it out.
There's also the idea he didn't realize Green was TALKING to him since he's not used to being noticed.
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Hehe flashback.
So something to note: Blue didn't talk to vio, but just came to sit with him...Weird.
I'm sure there will never be a follow up about that weird detail and it was thrown in for absolutely no reason. :D
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So to loop back in on why Dark Link was crying, Vio is just, busted up on the inside about all the bullshit with Shadow Link.
But isn't really allowing himself to express that in any real way.
I added this in cause I felt we didn't get much closure on all the bullshit Vio did in the OG manga due to time. So, here ya go haha.
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haha guts spilled.
Vio really sums it up though. He "did" a lot of things by taking NO action. The guilt of inaction is haunting him HARD right now and it's just eating him up inside.
A continuous motif is when shown anything involving what Vio did to Shadow his face is obscured or not detailed, pitch black in shadows.
In this scene it's goopy which just adds this suffocating feel to his actions and words.
Vio's literally drowning in regret over his actions and can't reconcile with what he did.
Smth I honestly think the all ages rating completely holds back on us in the OG. Like I don't need over the top "oh nooo what have I become" but a LITTLE acknowledgement that vio watched Shadow (or at least it's heavily implied) kill people and outright text that he watched Shadow burn a forest would be nice.
We didn't see much of the consequences of Vio's actions even in just a self reflective idea despite them being SO HEAVILY FEATURED in the og manga.
Like we see the actions. We get no real closure for how vio is feeling about it. It's so odd.
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Agh. So many emotions so hard to articulate the stuff behind them. XD
Green watching back on a past memory with just, a forlorn look on his face.
Dark is STILL crying and Green goes to wipe away his tears which just oomf.
Dark and Green's relationship is one I love VERY MUCH from a LOT of angles.
In a lot of ways in this scene specifically Dark is a stand in for Vio.
Green's wiping away Vio's tears from Dark. But it's still a sweet action regardless. He's showing kindness to an entity that hasn't been all that kind to him.
And on that note: Dark Link hasn't received much kindness from ANYONE.
Shadow's was basically entirely veiled in watching his own trauma from Vaati being thrown back in his face.
But there's not really strings attached to this action from Green. He's just wanting to comfort Dark, presumably as we'll see in a second BECAUSE he feels he failed when comforting Vio.
Anyway back to Vio and Green lmfao. I had too much to say about 2 panels of DarkGreen.
Vio questioning if Green hates him after this shit is a punch to the gut.
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Haha guilt.
Guilt.
GUILT.
Green in FS just kinda fucked off and said "Screw them I don't care" when he was split up from them. (A reasonable response after so much bullshit lmfao)
but in doing so it opened him up to feeling a LOT of guilt over what DID go horribly wrong.
And it all sank in in this moment.
And current Green just watching back with sadness while giving Dark affection just aghhhh.
Pain. All I know is PAIN.
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Honesty, togetherness. Pls kiss-
But as morbid as Green's words are it's true. Whether they succeed or fail at least they're together now.
Doesn't mean he's not still scared as hell.
This is the kind of characterization I wish we got from green in the og.
Like his bad leadership skills aren't really addressed in an impactful way outside of him fucking off for a bit haha. Which is never really brought up again after the pyramid bit and it only does in relation to how it affected HIM and not his team as a whole.
Green being more open about how he's a flawed leader is just smth I enjoyed adding.
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*Laughs in Vioxgreen*
And I'm not sorry either.
Funny how HERE Vio is talking about the downside of being Link while in current day he's the one who wants to go back to that...
Just a fun food for thought thing.
The kiss is very much spurred from "Damn you're being nice to me rn."
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Think you broke him there Vio.
Vio's no fucks given attatude really does boil down to "I've made so many mistakes what's another one" when it came to kissing Green.
Not that Green minded much haha.
Also hilarious you make such a disgusted face at the notion of smooching Shadow Link when page 358 is a moment green-
but yeah Vio's self loathing is on full display here and green's just like "Nah bro. but...you're a good boy-"
Smth I enjoy about Vio is just how much ANY link could be like him if they had enough removed from them.
Vio as a character to me is very much a side of Link that is completely willing to do ANYTHING to succeed and has NOTHING holding him back. Resulting in a very "not like link" link character.
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The deadpan way Vio describes what he DID to Shadow Link.
Like in a lot of ways he's just. Numb. Like he's just dissociating with own actions.
It's less of a "Realization" that they're gonna have to deal with Shadow again at some point but the reminder still stings.
There's smth to be said on how I find a lot of people boil down the "Vidow is toxic thing" way to much and basically try to strip the convo of any nuance at ALL.
Here's an idea: They're both victims and perpetrators and they both care about each other but surprise surprise, being on two ends of the hero villain spectrum they were fucked from the start.
Vio lists what he did to Shadow here but Shadow was no fucking saint news flash: THEY TRIED TO KILL EACH OTHER. :D
They both did shitty as hell things to each other cause circumstances fucked them BOTH OVER.
Shadow: Pressured this bitch into joining him and DID NOT take NO for an answer and oh yeah tried to kill him when it turned out vio lied to him-
Literally wtf was Vio supposed to do when Shadow showed up in the woods. Pretending to be on his side just to not DIE if this massive lighting using man child decided to throw a fit if he kept saying no. Their entire team got wasted to shit by this guy and he tried to kill green at the start of the mangaaaaa.
it's almost like coercion is bad or smth...
Imo it's clear they care about each other it's freakin' circumstance that fucked them both over.
In terms of what they did to EACH OTHER I'd say Vidow is pretty even on that board. (If we don't count what Shadow did to other people in which, lmfao Shadow, the bad guy character is clearly more evil)
I have a lot of thoughts about Vidow lmfao.
I happen to like the fact they're a doomed romance I can give a happier and worse ending but that's just me-
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Green and Vio after kissing:
😳
but yeah lol thanks for your input Green I'm sure Vio appreciates it. XD
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Haha very funny Vio.
Though there is smth to be said about how Vio spent who knows how long sleeping next to Shadow Link that sleeping alone after that would be weird.
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Oh Green. Sweet Sweet Green.
THE FUCK ELSE WERE YOU MEANT TO DO!?
ENLIGHTEN US PLEASE!?
Thank you dark for telling him affectively to stfu.
Dark's eyes being white with Blue is very unnerving and I like it. XDD
I'm just gonna say it:
I am in love with the last panel for a LOT of reasons.
So many.
Like idk where to even start holy shit.
1st of all: Dark giving green the flower. I've shit posted he wanted Green to eat it but that's not a joke lmfao.
2nd of all: Dark Link being a sweetie not only in his actions but his words. It was very fun to write him with someone he truly deeply respects.
Vaati he considers too dumb to live and Shadow he straight up thinks is the evilest entity alive. Zelda he barely interacted with and I've given my thoughts on them I think but like, there's not enough there to really deeply dive into yet.
Green, GREEN IS SOMEONE HE OUTRIGHT LIKES! And we get to actually see Green and Dark interact for an extended period UNLIKE Dark and Zelda. (I will have a LOT to say about them later lmfao)
And what Dark is saying here just, is the truth. Green is downplaying what he did MAJORLY, and Dark getting him back into a realistic sense of what is even feasible for one person to do is a welcome thing.
Overall I'm very happy with the dialogue I ended up with being "You did what you could with what you knew, that's all anyone could ask of you."
It's words I think a lot of people need to hear at one point or another.
Also, Dark Link is in a very similar boat AS GREEN. Vaati puts insane expectations on him and acts like he's a failure for not meeting them. Dark hasn't quite been hit with the "i'm not good enough" stick yet to take any of that seriously but they are in a similar boat of having the weight of their own worlds on their shoulders.
This is an experience he can actually RELATE to Green on in his own way.
In a lot of ways, darks lack of insecurity, and him kind standing up for Green here is a reflection of how he doesn’t view himself as a failure despite being treated like one. He's seen failure and doesn't deem Green or himself failures and won't beat around the bush in saying as much.
Overall I think the point that Dark makes, that sometimes there is nothing else you can do. And digging yourself into a guilt hole is not helping. Reminding yourself "I did what I could with what I knew" is a good thing to keep close to your heart. I think that point feels very strong coming from him. XD
You as a single person can't fix everything and you shouldn't have to.
Dark's infamous bitching about Vaati doing NOTHING while he does all the work, and him saying to Green "Bro you did the best you can" feels so personal and well indented coming from him. Which ah, has been so lacking in someone who thus far has been around people like Shadow and Vaati. XD
3rd of all:
This highlights an aspect of Dark that has been, rather shrouded in a questionable variable.
If he can TRUELY be a helpful entity or if he's only really evil. Obviously there's clues that Dark is more than what he seemed at first since he uttered that he wanted kisses and cuddles lmfao.
But this highlights the "Dark is a fucked up therapist" angle.
Lastly this whole interaction just stands out as smth that doesn't benefit Dark in a single way. In fact it might actually be a detriment to him.
One of his self described tasks is to destroy their mentality so they can't do anything to Vaati. But respects Green too much to not say smth when Green is being an idiot towards himself. XD
Having Dark being a nuanced character is smth I enjoy a lot because he's just so complicated. Shadow's whole "I'm the hero link think" didn't go beyond basically just jabbing at Link there was a dude with his face running around being bad and reveled in being bad.
But I like exploring a character who TRUELY thinks they are like Link and not just doing it as a jab. Dark's delusions that he IS a good hero is what makes him so fun to me. (I do like Shadow's characterization but making Dark and Shadow substantially different from each other was the goal. XD)
Cause Dark Link's thoughts that he's a hero aren't skin deep or just him talking himself up vs Shadow. Dark's mind is constantly contradicting itself to what he's supposed to be doing.
His main goal often defaulting to just wanting connection with others even if it kinda bites his other goals in the ass. Cause dude is lonely as hell as well as depressed and connecting with others kind of becomes his main driving force vs his actual purpose. XD
Suffice to say: I like this one panel a lot and DarkGreen as a whole means a lot to me from a story standpoint not just pure shipping fodder. XD (Even though unironically I do think they're one of the best ships in the comic from a dynamic standpoint.)
I think Dark is an important character in EVERYONE progressing their development in FSR and I do like how he's so flexible as to be a good foil or nudge characters in certain directions.
Darkgreen as a dynamic specifically just hits good cause of how it feeds into Green's arc of accepting help and listening to the fact he's not a failure and that this time, he doesn't have to pile things on his own shoulders and he can rely on his team. (Which is similar to his arc from the manga but the twist here is that he feels he needs to bare the weight of being the team leader.)
Dark kind of ended up being a "Safe" person to talk about his anxieties about.
Which is very ironic.
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Lmfao. Green wasn't expecting that at ALL from this dude.
panel 2 is funny cause haha more funny out of pocket things Dark says involving "romance" (His urge to be close to people)
The "huh?" "Huh?" back and forth is inspired by smth in AOT lmfao go figure but two characters "huh?" ing at each other just gets a laugh out of me.
Like they're both confused to shit.
Green especially must have a ton of crap going on up there because this dude is ALL OVER THE PLACE during this conversation but admitting "Hey I'd want you to kiss me too" is probs the weirdest part lmfao.
The absurdity and audacity is just, laughable.
I don't remember who exactly Dark is quoting but I know SOMEONE said "Shadow link's a really bad guy" (I really wanna say it is green lol) and I thought it'd be funny if Dark repeated them here considering the circumstances. XD
It sounds childish as fuck but also cements WHY Dark doesn't like Shadow Link immediately at least in context to Green. Since Green doesn't know anything about their scuffle.
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Of course Green pries a bit because figuring out Dark and Shadow got beef is...interesting to say the least.
He saw Shadow shaking him like a magic 8 ball so he's not THAT surprised but still that's weird.
Dark fundamentally seems to not really understand why he pissed Shadow off or he's being obtuse on purpose. Take your pick. Either way he's very to the point on him perceiving Green as "Hating" Shadow Link.
When in reality it's a lot more complicated than that.
Green also catches Dark refers to himself as a hero here which, confuses him but also intrigues him a bit.
Since I'm pretty sure this is the first time Dark has proclaimed himself to be a hero in Green's presence. XD
And considering Green's context: That's a wild ass thing to say.
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I think it's interesting Green feels safe enough to confide in Dark at all...
Or you could take it how I kinda thought and by mere proxy of Dark not really being someone he can't afford to not let down, he can be honest about his feelings.
The other 3 colors and Shadow he has to have an heir of control and leadership around. Dark, doesn't expect squat from him, Dark is kinda their enemy...and he isn't someone Green needs to have a mask around.
Dark also giving him wiggle room to feel safe for that second I think Green just kinda, broke and wanted to talk about his feelings with SOMEONE and that SOMEONE just happens to be the nightmare monster that's a mental terror.
I think he's also lowkey defensive about why he's still a bit ehhhhh relationship wise with Shadow Link. XD
Because Green's wording here is WEIRD
"Nothing was the same after...ALL of it." - is more in reference to their entire journey and while Dark is the curse destroying their head Green can't blame him for shit that SHADOW did to make them mentally unwell as hell haha.
Like...Well the things Green describes above.
SPECIFICALLY the "You didn't laugh while me and Vio nearly killed each other" is...AMUSING because Dark did just watch kinda in surprise at that lmfao. His take away from that fight was "You like Vio? I like vio too. ^w^"
Green's not aware that Dark did uh, goofy things involving vio at the start of this comic haha.
Green's general bitterness towards Shadow makes a ton of sense. As Green puts it, Shadow put them through HELL. And he has every right to be pissed I think even if Shadow helped them in the end.
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1 - It's called denial sweetheart they were both in it last night. XDDDD Vidow be complicated ya just gotta accept it.
2 - I fucking love Dark Link. He's just a treasure. Confused by Vio and Shadow's confusing ass relationship.
3 - Green's got that sexy self reflection to make his opinions nuanced.
4 - Truth.
5 - Dark Link's like "Damn I found a smart boy"
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I do love Green getting shy at Dark Link praising him haha.
The admittion Dark thinks Green is a good hero also gives insight into what Dark THINKS a good hero IS to begin with.
What's fun here is just how different of a character Green is to Vaati or Shadow. Dark Link (At this point) hasn't had anything to berate Green on being hypocritical or weird about. (That wasn't Green's direct insecurities that Dark was just parroting) When in comparison to Vaati or Shadow who are "lying idiots". XD
Green downplays any good things he does while wallowing in his mistakes And Dark's like "...What are you talking about???"
Also Green. That last statement. You shouldn't have said it haha.
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1 - That moment where Dark just, freezes and stops talking and STARES. Greens' like "Uh...you okay" wordlessly.
2. Creepy face.
3. Oh dear it's worse. XD I cannot remove the inflections from that one Lazy town meme "WOULD YOU LIKE TOO!?" and it makes me laugh but Dark's in general just, creepy as hell in these panels.
Also fun time into getting into Dark Link blushing since I don't know if I've gone into that:
Dark Link blushes for a lot of reasons but tends to do it when he's emotionally unstable. And he FOR SURE IS after Green made that throw away statement that he's unable to see into memories.
Dark Link is ALL too eager to share that experience though. For better or for worse.
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I call him a sweaty weirdo for a reason. Dude be sweaty. XD
This entire page is hilarious and horrible for Green but Dark having no emotional filters is the norm for him at this point hah.
The main take away here is that Dark wants a "yes" out of Green when it comes to letting Green see something.
Green's horrified "WHAAAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE!?" is the first time someone's ACTUALLY referenced verbally that Dark makes disturbing expressions. XD
Which is another thing Dark does involuntarily when over excited. Like it's obvious Dark's not a normal human and I don't exactly think the hylian-ish form we see of him is his natural state. I think it's the result of him mimicking Link's appearance.
I think the interesting take away is that Green kinda catches on imediately Dark isn't acting this way to scare or hurt him but just has zero emotional regulation. But who'd fault Green for being scared from this behavior. XD
Dark's dialogue is all sorts of concerning here. Saying "They can watch whatever Green would like", which is very much a push to get Green to watch SOMETHING with him to a point where he doesn't care WHAT it is as long as they do it. But describes the process as "Sickening" which... Seems to throw the idea it'd be "fun" out the window but he proceeds to say "It'll be SO fun we'll both THROW UP"
Which uhhh.
Okay then buddy.
The response Green gives, which is to just gently push Dark off him is a far cry from how Vaati and Shadow treat him physically.
Green's got insane patience.
Which speaking of that, if Dark is ONLY used to physically violent actions towards himself, him shoving Green on the ground and not really thinking about it makes a lot more sense.
I think the most gentle thing someone's done was Shadow and Vaati patting him on the head.
It's funny to me how Dark kind of realizes his behavior was inappropriate from Green's reaction and apologizes. Which, again is smth you wouldn't expect out of your casual evil villain man.
Green comes to the conclusion that Dark is nuttier than a squirrel which...took ya long enough bud XD
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Again Green kind of applies "This is a bad guy who's trying to trick me" logic. Which we know isn't really Dark's style.
Lying is what his DAD does after all-
Dark confusing the words "Catch" with like, the physical action of catching something which is just smth I find cute.
I'm sure I've touched on it before but Dark's conflation of "Fun" and "Pain" has been smth with him from the start of the comic. (Masochist much lmfao)
And on a level he kinda knows it'll make Green miserable to watch something with him but kinda doesn't care and just wants to do it WITH SOMEONE for once. Thus he doesn't want any payment because, well. Asking for payment would be rude.
I just like his completely broken logic on that because it shows how mangled Dark's idea of things like pleasurable and painful experiences are.
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Green's determination is a turn on for Dark apparently.
Just kidding but Green. Green. Awww Green.
That's such a bad idea to look into Vio's memories stop.
Slot machine Dark was just a fun visual I thought would be weird unnerving, kinda funny and match Zelda quirkiness.
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reinnette · 2 days
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adding to discourse cuz i thought of quinn during the toronto game (and everything circles back to the canucks for me)
i remember seeing this
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and getting worried about him but at the same time i knew he was gonna cook something for the next period
i remember some people were shitting on him for not keeping his emotions in check and being a good captain (tho others were praising him for being a captain that cared that much about the game)
well, the game ended 6-4 canucks, and quinn factored into 3 goals including the 2 in the third period that secured the win
i guess the dots my mind is trying to connect is the fact the ends justify the means. who cares if natemac or quinn throw “tantrums” (not tantrums but any display of emotions really) when in the end they produce points? to the masses, they’re fueling fires that result in wins so theres no reason to call them whiny
i feel bad for mitch here bcoz that one tantrum of his (from yesterday when willy kinda yelled at him) is spinning a whole new narrative and ofc its not justified that he showed frustration becoz it didnt result in a win (he did get the only goal for the leafs tho, which people will say is too little too late)
other dots in my mind: hockey culture and the display of emotions?? but idk what else to say abt it
i hate when people call players whiny (especially when its quinn, gtfo) because i think its a tense environment and emotions are high, so let the emotions out (this is NOT an inside out ad but the nhl x inside out commercial was funny) anger is normal and its okay to show it yknow 🧿 emotions DO need to be kept in check but we shouldnt shit on ppl for showing it either
idk its a lot of thinking, what do yall think 🦕
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hadesoftheladies · 6 months
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im genuinely fatigued by male heroism in literature. no i do not want a "girl-coded" villain with floppy dark hair, i want an interesting FEMALE CHARACTER GOODDDAAMMNITTTT.
I want to see an eldest daughter fighting for her family's honor. I want to see a girl facing a moral dilemma prematurely, abandoned and decieved by everyone she trusted. I want to see her revolt at the betrayal of her superiors. I want a mother to see what a monster her child has become. becoming a fugitive from her own spawn. I want to see an old woman watch those she loves die because they did not heed her warnings. I want to see old prophetesses outsmart authorities and fight to stop the inevitable. i want a bunch of sisters braving the wild because they are the only hope of a small town. a pathetic heroine who only survives because of luck and charm. young girls with strong limbs because they're used to working in factories and farms, who can run far and leap over fallen trees. who can bat a ball and scale a wall. i want girl gangs, where teenage girls get up to no good until the consequences catch up to them, or not. i want socially awkward queens who lean on the advice of aunty-like advisors, be they witches or muggle. i want to see an older sister be betrayed by the brother she raised and it climaxes in a duel. i want to see the reverse, where the brother she raised becomes her second-in-command, strong and wise because of her and wouldn't betray her for the world. i want genius little girls that are kept in secret towers because of their prophetic dreams. who terrify kings because of their intellect. i want female spies and soldiers who are stupid and devoted. i want an arrogant heroine who gets caught up in a plot bigger than she can handle. a kind girl who inevitably breaks the world and destroys everything. i want her to be destined for doom and glory. I WANT HER TO SELF-DESTRUCT IN THE FACE OF HER OWN POWER. I WANT HER DREAMS AND HOPES FOR THE FUTURE TO INSPIRE A NATION TO CHANGE, ONLY FOR HER TO LEARN THE HARD TRUTH OF THE COST OF TRANSFORMATION. I WANT HER TO WRESTLE WITH THE ISOLATION THAT COMES FROM GREATNESS. TO DESIRE LOVE AND BE TOO SHREWD TO FALL FOR IT.
I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BOY ANGST YOU WILL NEVER BE AS DEEP, COMPLEX OR NUANCED AS A GIRL YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE HORRORS YOU'RE JUST A PARODY OF WOMEN'S LIVES GET OUT
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lesbaurinkos · 4 months
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they call me the world’s number one fan of dnp’s ffxiv catboys (who bought matching red and blue carbuncle mounts if you care). just like they call fditl the most important video to ever exist in the world
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lykos-attic · 11 months
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Randomly thinking about how angry the way Winter is treated in the narrative makes me
They show the real Winter and acknowledge who he actually is JUST to once again present him as the mean stuck-up prince??? HE GOES THROUGH SO MUCH DEVELOPMENT IN WINTER TURNING JUST TO BE SHOWN AS THE SAME OLD 'ANGRY RACIST STUCK UP PRINCE'???? IN THE NEXT BOOKS LIKE WHAT. TUI. PLEASE. I KNOW THAT WE AREN'T SEEING IT FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE, SO WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HES THINKING BUT. HE BARELY CHANGES AT ALL... LIKE AT THE END OF WINTER TURNING HE REALIZES THAT THE WINGLET IS HIS TRIBE AND HE CARES ABOUT THEM MORE THAN A RANKING AND A FAMILY WHO (mostly) DOESN'T LOVE HIM. THEN IN THE NEXT BOOKS HE'S BACK TO THE SAME OLD 'WINTER'. TUI.
I've seen people calling Winter 'nasty mean racist man' HAVE YOU READ THE BOOKS. DRAGON RACISM WAS SO RAMPANT IN THE BOOKS.... LIKE ALMOST EVERY CHARACTER HAD A MOMENT WHERE THEY WERE BEING THE DRAGON EQUIVALENT OF RACIST. WHICH OBVIOUSLY, ISN'T GOOD, BUT TO JUST PIN IT ON WINTER??? WHAT??? HIS HATRED OF NIGHTWINGS WAS FUCKING DRILLED INTO HIS BRAIN GROWING UP, HE GETS PAST THAT AND LEARNS TO NOT BE DRAGON RACIST. HE REALIZES 'OH FUCK. MAYBE THE THINGS MY SHALLOW HIERARCHICAL SOCIETY TAUGHT ME AREN'T TRUE'. DID WE READ THE SAME BOOKS, WHERE APPARENTLY, NONE OF THAT HAPPENED?? MEANWHILE DARKSTALKER, THE FANDOMS 'PRECIOUS MISUNDERSTOOD BABY' TRIED TO COMMIT RACIAL GENOCIDE BECAUSE HE HAD AN ABUSIVE DAD WHO HAPPENED TO BE AN ICEWING??? (And when Winter is upset about this he is treated as unreasonable by the guy who KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON (Qibli) )
I've been a Winter defender for so long, surrounded by a fandom who mostly hates him and now that I have emotional intelligence since I'm not nine (no offense to nine year olds 🙏) and I have a place to ramble where I'll be listened to I can finally defend my angsty ice dragon I will absolutely do so. This stupid ass garbagefire of a series has meant so much to me over the years and I'm passionate about so many of these characters. I adore Winter so much, reading through the books for like the 50th time is so amazing, like I used to immediately hate moon because she was called a Mary sue, Qibli because people find him annoying, Kinkajou because she was the 'annoying one', but now I love all of those characters. I can see traits of all of them in me, and they mean a lot to me. Turtle's anxiety, Qibli's Sociotropy, (needing to be liked by everyone) hypervigilance (I've never seen people talking about it, and to see it represented in my favorite book series makes me feel seen.), fierce loyalty, Winter's guilt, self-loathing, desperate desire to please his parents, Moon's social anxiety, nervousness, and love of reading, Kinkajou's desire to be a dragon others notice and remember.
This turned into a rant about a completely different thing I'm so sorry, I'm not even done I have so much to say about these guys
Please don't let this flop I poured my heart out about this book series for children
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morporkian-cryptid · 6 months
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I'm getting overwhelmed again with wanting to rewrite the entirety of Lupin III - Goodbye Partner as a fic my own way, because I am still salty about how Jigen's betrayal was handled and I am pretty sure I could do a better job than TMS did (hell, they handled that same premise better in Seven Days Rhapsody, and it was a B plot!!)
Except I can't do that because 1) I have to finish writing Hanafuda and 2) I have like. zero plot for it right now (but I know if I put my mind to it I could)
In the meantime please have this song that makes me think about what that movie could have been, while I daydream about magic tricks and lighters and proceed to chew at my walls 👍
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me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time
#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start#I wanna get in his head more ok sue me#Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits#Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts#Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too “ówò sad poor smol bean” or whatever#That’s it tho chapter 4 I didn’t change bc it’s peak#Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesn’t realize it#Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom#I think that’s all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 👍#Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue#Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house#Grace post#this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things#Bc I think I did that recently but I don’t remember it much tho#Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain#Also I’d wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diary’s to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark#Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries#This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts#In other news I made shapes redesigns but I’m on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh#Nowadays I’m more chill w spoiling things than I used to be#But there are a handful of things I’ve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc)#So I’m not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now#Shrugs#maybe I’ll do a poll later I dunno#Ok yapping over byeeeeee
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Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.
Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.
#da2#dragon age 2#sebastian vael#listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks#okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else#and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't#it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more#even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline#whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke#i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame#then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him#even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there#and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah#but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els#also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him#i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it#also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious#because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like#an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks#i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power#and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai#and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think#i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him
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dreamthinkr · 1 year
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hi
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ceaseless-rambler · 11 months
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Ads in mobile games should not play music. Either my sound is off, in which case I won't hear it, or I'm listening to something else and that's interrupted by the ad noises, in which case I want to fistfight whoever designed the ad
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sevicia · 1 month
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I wanted to make a cleaner summary of last week's classes and also review the classes I have this week since the material is already uploaded beforehand but I was feeling so horrible throughout the day that when I sat down I was just gonna look at the ones for tomorrow but I think I'm just gonna go to bed because I just gave my little numbers game a few tries and not even the joy of tribial elementary school-level math games is bringing my brain cells and/or full sentience back
#diary#accessing it through the CMD thing and not just running it from the IDE made me realize a few things about it though so I'll hav#I'll have to maybe jot them down somewhere when I'd normally just be rly excited and try to fix them straight away like I am truly fucked r#I do wanna make an eng version of it sometime soon so I can share it even tho it's literally the simplest little thing. it's fun if you're#an easily amused nerd that loves playing with numbers in a truly useless manner. if that makes sense#also very obviously text-only I am NOT torturing myself with any graphics of ANY kind rn#it closes immediatly as they do and also when it comes to having double/triple digit starting numbers it becomes a lot less fun I think tho#though I haven't used it much with those yet#I still wanna figure out a way of making it better when it comes to 2/3 digit starters. and my original idea included maybe keeping track#keeping track of how many steps you took even between different rounds but I made the simplest version for now. I also think making like a#''this was the least amount of steps possible!'' type thing would be very very cool but that is FAR too big brained for me rn#cause I can figure out how to do the record keeping thing but that last one is like. let's stop talking for a little while.................#oh but adding an actual interface sounds so fun even though I have very little clue on how to do that rn I could probably STOP typing becau#because I can feel my stupid ass self start getting excited about this which will make it so I start working on it instead of going to bed#NO. DOWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!! auhgh............ oh man I had a lame joke to make but I completely forgot what it was#I have coding class tomorrow in which I normally just do the exercises as fast as possible before playing around but the only Python editor#I could find installed on the school computers was Visual Studio Code and I have no clue how to use that shit like I don't need so many#so many buttons. probz. OKAY GOODNIGHT
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I’m moving in 10 days, have been working non-stop, and have yet to finish a drawing
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deevotee · 2 months
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you all are so lucky im so obsessive about having separate blogs for my interests because my ygo queue keeps hitting 1k every day with all the shit i add to it and my dc blog has been at a steady 500 in queue for a while too like hyperfixations are a disease on my brain and the only thing keeping you all from the onslaught of mine is my autistic need to Sort
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the-trans-dragon · 7 months
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What if they didn't put ads every 3 posts. Three posts between ads, literally. Not even counting the ad for Tumblr Live.
Also what if tumblr didn't know what city Im in. I do not want my location tracked or stored anywhere unless I give explicit ongoing permission, like with my GPS app that I allow to track me only when the app is open, and then it deletes the data (allegedly) when I stop giving permission.
#ugh i do SO much to try to keep my location private. i use an android with all the tracking things Off (except for my weather app#which is a highly specific app that does NOTHING except provide weather; and i have the location turned Off so it doesnt even know where i#live). my tumblr email is not connected to any real life stuff because i made it when i was very closeted and made a new email and password#for it and never linked them to anything else. i have bare minimum apps. i use firefox and duckduckgo.#for shits sake i use a small barely-known map app because any Map App that has had large success under capitalism is inevitably going to#start selling private info or working with a cheap security system designed to allow quiet data leaks.#i guess i use gmail and gphotos but my phone doesnt HAVE a native Photo App. i have to use one i download and im too damn skittish to try#i guess i did get netflix recently....sigh.... i figured they WERENT tracking me because they email me EVERY TIME I USE NETFLIX to alert me#that OHHHH A NEW DEVICE IS USING NETFLIX AAAAA WHAT IF ITS AGAINST NETFLIX POLICY OH NOOOO. so i figured they didnt have a way to ID me.#UGH. CAN I PLEASE EXIST WITHOUT BEING MONITORED FOR FIVE SECONDS. can i please access Social Media which is a shitty substitute for actual#human connection but its the best i have--without someone noting my location and then trying to sell me things??? can i please watch film???#i cant go to a theater because my region does NOT believe in covid and not even medical staff attending Very Ill Patients wear masks anymore#stupid fucking homophobic transphobic anti-vax society has made it too dangerous for me to access most Not-Online forms of enrichment. and i#cant even use the Internet (a magnificent ASTONISHING human creation) without being tracked and advertised to.#ugh..#humanity is just so cool and brave and kind and amazing and yet we have taxes and advertisment IDs and traffic and medicine shortages.#its not like the ads even work. even when it shows me stuff i DO want. i cant fucking afford things. i already have spent too much money on#things that i dont need like Good Food and Entertainment and Juice. ugh....okay i do need food and liquids....Good food even. my body cant#survive on College Foods like it could in the past. And i might literally die if i dont buy juice...#and i guess its really really really heartwarming to have good entertainment to take breaks from all the stress.... its not like i havent l#..... like im so frugal. thank god my partners encourage me to buy myself things. i have been so much healthier since giving in and buying#Non-Water drinks instead of just Chronically Drinking Less Than A Bottle Of Water A Day. my partners are so good and sweet 😓 i shouldnt be#upset with myself for letting them convince me to take care of myself. that isnt fair to them or me so i will stop doing that now.#my faith in humanity is mostly just knowing that my partners exist. theyre so sweet. if people like them exist--then i have faith in humanty#no pressure lol. they are both so good and perfect regardless of how much energy they have to spare for Being Good. they are just inherently#very dear and good to me and for me. but just because i have faith in humanity doesnt mean im gonna stop complaining the whole time!!!!!! i#will whine about the bad stuff forever!!!! and BITE IT if i ever get the chance. but i will complain until the bothersome things go away.#if i complain my whole life with no results then...! so be it. i will whine and it will be art somehow.#sorenhoots
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