#i keep recognizing some of the ppl who always show up to be uhhh

[werelupe-king]

ppl being weirdly antisemitic @ the neoboards wasn’t exactly what i was expecting to see when i logged in today but here we are. neopets is a site that exists huh.

[juhihuji]

my big cringy text post full of useless info about Juhi Zo (oc)

Uhhh this is in response to the anon from curious cat who asked ‘bout my oc...it was too much text.......

Hey. HEY? r u tryna make me cry cuz that's how you do it I'm so happy ppl like her when I was so ashamed and embarrassed to show her lmao Ah...there's so so so much about her and I've tried typing it out over n over but it's hard to tell her story without going off on long tangents trying to explain other details. Like, it wouldn't make sense without them...and I didn't wanna make this post super long and I'm still embarrassed about talking about it ...I hope u r cool with just hearing random facts and snippets of story about her ah I'm sorry ;_;

I created her with the intention of using her for self inserting/shipping lmao but that's probably obvious...and idk if she breaks any rules of the universe and I feel weird talkin' about her cuz I'm only in the middle of Shippuden so I don't know what the whole world is like lol but uuh

She's left handed

One of her hobbies is jewelry making. She mainly uses wire and ceramic beads and gives them as gifts to her friends. They might wear it to be polite but nobody really likes it lmao

Her team consists of herself, her lil brother Zitien, her big sister Agneya, and is lead by her mom or dad. They switch out cuz they care about spending time with their kids lol

Some of my art depicts her skin tone as richly saturated for aesthetic reasons, but she's meant to be quite grey because of a mineral in her body! It's part of her kekkei genkai™

She has a seal on her back and it's got two parts! One seals her entire weight, the other seals her entire temperature???? Kinda like how Tsunade's holdin' in her old, like suckin' in a gut. It's like that with Juhi's body temperature and weight and she can partially open each seal individually. Full grown at 5'4", she weighs 3.4 tonnes unsealed and her body is a hot hot 2100°C when unsealed. She's just super dense and hot and heavy! Like she's made of metal or something. When fully unsealed the weight and heat can warp her body structure as if she's melting, and when she seals that shit back up and her body cools back down she could remain permanently deformed! There are doctors on her home island who specialize in fixing some of that through corrective surgery, like parts of her skeleton fusing into one big mass, but not everything can be fixed! So she's gotta watch it!

 She has nightmares about her face melting and people being scared of her or not being able to recognize her cuz you can't bring the face back to normal after it melts. Everyday she wakes up and checks her face obsessively to make sure all her features are the same distance apart and the same shape and whatnot

Even when fully sealed, full grown she weighs 300 pounds with an internal body temp of 40°C and for that reason she sinks like a rock and is terrified of large bodies of water! Learning to walk on water was the first thing ppl of her clan with the same kekkei genkai learn.

When her temperature is higher, she can (for the most part, aside from the melting at the highest temps) withstand and survive temperatures the same as hers or slightly higher, but for example at an internal temp of 400°C she will burn at 450°C

 I love drawin' sweat and I even draw Juhi with sweat on her body cuz I can't help it but she doesn't sweat! She's always dehydrated and most of her body's moisture evaporates through exhalation as a complication caused by her kekkei genkai.

People from her island are trained to use a different type of chakra and her kekkei genkai also makes her body extremely efficient in using that chakra, so a little goes a long way. One of the things that comes from that is she doesn't typically get uncomfortably hot or cold. She can sense changes in temperatures, but her body is really efficient at maintaining homeostasis and she just don't get too bothered by it! To a point, anyway.

wow i talked lots about her KG but just the boring useless facts about it and not what it actually is but i did say random hahee :•)

For her Naruto AU she exists on a branching timeline, one branch where she falls in love with Shino and one where she falls in love with Kankuro! ew!

In the Shino timeline she takes on a more taijutsu focused fighting style thus we have taiJuhi! 

Because of her weight/density she moves pretty slow for a ninja, but her mental reaction speed is typical of any decent shinobi. So don't let her catch you cuz her punches swing like a cannon and she will grapple her opponents and cook them alive. Her weight also makes it hard to knock her off balance.

Not great at long distance fighting. Sometimes uses a metal two-handed weapon.

Bein' a ninja's really tough for her since she's slow, but she wants it badly and works hard to keep up

Later in life she moves to and works in Konoha at a nuclear power plant owned and run by her clan wtf

Shino has been to Juhi's home island a couple times and he has to wear a lead suit to survive the harsh and nearly uninhabitable environment. The people from the island evolved to withstand it.

The first time he went, they took a ship to the island then went by train for a few hundred miles into the centre where the village is. The first time was for a mission, another Aburame came too. Some time during their friendship, Juhi gifted Shino beetles from her island that can survive the environment. Shino selectively bred them to be usable as an extra layer of protection beneath his and his clansman's skin to protect their internal organs while on the mission! How goofy

In the Kankuro timeline she takes on a more ninjutsu focused fighting style thus we have ninJuhi! 

Later in life she works a job 6 months out of the year on her home island as a sentinel for the family who governs the island?? 

In this timeline she dies some time during the events in Boruto ig (still haven't gotten to Boruto yet tho). Her seal malfunctions and everything she touches burns or melts and everywhere she stands she sinks into the ground. She's far from home and all she can think to do to save everyone from herself is to run into the ocean. Her footfalls sound like thunder and the ground shakes deeply as she pounds the ground running towards the shore. The sand turns into a hard crust beneath every foot step that hits the beach. Suddenly, her sprinting figure turns into noise and white haze as she reaches the tides and nobody can see her anymore. It's the water, hissing deafeningly loud as it evaporates into thick clouds instantly upon contact with her body. Her body's efficient energy usage takes her far into the ocean before she begins to run out of chakra. Her body starts to cool down from the ocean water and she's getting too tired to hold up the weight of her 3.4 tonne body. Eventually she crumples on the ocean floor and dies, melting and embedding into the earth's crust.

She loves spicy food

uhhh that was a lot of boring information sorry about that! wanted this post to be short but got carried away :•( her life's supposed to be kind of a crooked painful mess but she's pretty cheery cuz to her it's all normal and she's got the love and support of her friends and family baby! ain't that how it always goes in Naruto also sorry for sloppy writing im dum

[greensconnor]

i’m asking about your dragon age characters

molly i would KILL for u im ur personal hitman now

anyway i said my city now because the entire bioware writing team sucks shit xoxo and i’m so much smarter than all of them but also fully incapable of having a normal amount of ocs for anything (see: the time i made 20 rwby ocs in less than two weeks) so i have. five worldstates here r some assorted thoughts

uhhh so the worldstates r as follows

eira mahariel (two-handed berserk/champ spec), rhett hawke (two-handed berserk spec), alas lavellan (mage knight enchanter spec), romanced alistair/fenris/dorian respectively

shiv tabris (dual wield duelist/assassin spec), radella “rads” hawke (mage spirit healer spec), kat adaar (two-handed reaver spec), romanced morrigan/isabela/cassandra respectively because im a pc gamer and i think i should be able to date whatever video game woman i like because im infinitely better than cishet men

this world state said yeah i respect mens rights. mens rights to shut the fuck up

twins bronson (sword/shield reaver spec) & bryant cousland (archer ranger spec), carmine hawke (archer assassin spec), syracuse trevelyan (dual wield tempest spec), romanced zevran/anora/josephine/bull. if ur wondering how that works my city now and the warden, hawke and the inquisitor should all meet and so they do because i Said So

riva amell (mage arcane warrior/battlemage spec), graham “gray” hawke (mage force spec), hellathen “hela” lavellan (archer assassin spec); romanced cullen/anders and later blackwall because hawke only likes men who will break his heart. hela doesn’t have a romance because she’s literally 20. who let her lead the inquisition (me it was me). also it should be noted the version of cullen i have in my head only vaguely resembles actual cullen because i write better than dragon age writers ever could and i gave him an Actual Cohesive Narrative and he gets bullied relentlessly for being scrawnier than his mage boyfriend

malien “mal” surana (mage spirit healer/keeper spec), jules hawke (sword/shield reaver spec), ash adaar (mage rift spec), romanced leliana/merrill/krem because i should have been able to kiss krem and its a Crime that i am not allowed to

knight enchanter is a Very op specialization and by Very op i mean it makes a mage with their built-in low constitution stats able to solo the biggest baddest dragon in the game on nightmare mode in under five minutes so like. alas lavellan fist fights dragons for fun send tweet

i think lavellans should be able to hit ppl with bricks for all the shit they endure. thus solas gets pranked by mahariel and alas by which i mean they just tip buckets of water onto him from the rookery

kat might be my only competent inquisitor but she did also try to knock out the right hand of the divine and attempt to gap even tho there’s fucky magic burning up her hand so does she have a brain cell? you decide

also its fantasy land and i do what i want so kat has blue/gold sectoral heterochromia

gray “mage rights” hawke is best friends with fenris which surprises literally everyone. their friendship started because they got into a fist fight and then they were like okay i respect u now. hawke is like hey fenris give me ur sword i have a fun trick to show u [uses his sword as a foci to zap carver in the ass with lightning]

i am Always thinking abt like how cullen could have been one man anti-chantry propaganda machine if he hadn’t so blatantly been shoehorned into every game past origins so anyway bioware forgot about a wholeass moon i can write what i like. [holds up cullen by the scruff of his stupid armor] not only are you bisexual you are also a bottom

i also Hate the whole uwu mage haters get fixed by romancing a mage

unlocked secret dialogue option where my inquisitors verbally cuss out dorian’s dad instead of whatever sympathetic narrative the writers were going for cuz its bullshit.

riva is a showoff and a Menace about being as good as he is because he unabashedly loves being a mage and hes like oooh look at me im sexy i dont need to use my hands to cast magic because i’m just that good ;)) and you know what. hes right.

gray, on the other hand, does Not want to be mage. he wants to be a druffalo farmer and retire in the hinterlands and be left the fuck alone. unfortunately he is gay and has one brain cell and terrible, terrible taste in men. ribbed relentlessly for this by riva (altho does he have room to talk hes been hung up on cullen since he was like 13)

shiv is trans n kieran is the result of doing the dark ritual with her wife and he looks a Lot like shiv (dark skin pointed ears, shock-white hair) and morrigan always just Assumed she dyed it or did something magic with it so seeing their kid come out like that was a WEIRD time for her

leliana almost Murdered by cassandra in worldstate 5 because the warden is Actually There The Whole Time, but its been 10 years, mal’s cut off all her hair and gotten full facial tattoos and she’s like “no one will know its me its fine” and she’s right. she gets away with it. only cullen like, Knows, because he knew her before the blight but he doesnt have a death wish n he like. will Not piss her off

shes dalish by birth n she was stolen from her clan by templars and thus is vehemently anti-circle and anti-chantry in general

uhhh the vallaslin (elf face tattoos) of my 4 dalish characters are:

eira = ghilan’nain (chose em cuz shes rlly interested in the navigation aspect of the goddess)

alas = falon’din (god of the dead n he picked them because he’s Also the god of fortune and alas is like tee hee fun but also he can and will kill u if u fuck with him so yk its fitting)

hela = june (god of the craft bc she likes to Make things but june is also the god who taught the elves 2 hunt and hela is. a hunter.)

mal = elgar’nan (allfather/god of vengeance bc. she is Vengeful. she is Angry. but yk fucking with shem politics and fucking their divine is like. mal may have little a retribution. as a treat.) yes she has the full half-face solid colour tattoo she does NOT fuck around.

bronson and bryant r not genetically identical but they Look similar enough 2 anyone who doesn’t know them well enough 2 play spot the distance. anora and bronson think this is a super fun game to play, especially when nobles realize they’ve swapped out the king but they’re too nervous to say anything

eira mahariel has two hands. one is for holding hands with alistair and the other is for throttling elven gods, apparently. she’s killed one before so solas she’s coming for your bitch ass next. watch urself.

speaking of eira and alistair are married thru dalish tradition and humans don’t recognize it n alistair loves 2 re-propose to her with random things. he’ll just pick up like. a bit of cheese and be like “marry me ;)” and she’s like GASP but whatever will the chantry say!!!! all of their friends r sick of them

“vhenan if you love me bring me a sword” “you think i could do better than a sword made out of space rock?” “:)”

eira is my youngest hero at 18 at the start of her game and kat is my oldest at 32 at the start of her game.

none of my hawkes are under six foot. rhett is the tallest (6′8″) and rads is the shortest (6′2″).

syracuse trevelyan would have been the Perfect inquisitor if he were not a pretty boy himbo and a gay bastard who does Most Things just to spite his parents.

[corypheus pointing at syracuse’s visage in his crystal orb thingo] i want that twink obliterated

i love the companions from older games return thing i truly do so i make it a point for Every companion to return in inquisition so the gang rlly is all here because i am a Slutte for found family

i lie in my keep worldstates because i dont want to choose between hawke and alistair during here lies the abyss but i never make him king and every time i play inquisition and cole has the wicked grace line it makes me Scream. alistair baby im so sorry i did this to you but i didnt actually do this to you

yes this is my everyone lives au but like. all the time. i have never left hawke in the fade and i do not intend to.

fuck whatever nonsense about wardens not being able 2 have kids. by sheer divine power (me) anora and bryant have three daughters; eleanor, sabina & cecelia n both bronson and zevran make Excellent uncles because i think anora deserves good things because i’m tired of bioware being like women bad, actually,

so like most of the time i have the warden & hawke turning up after the move to skyhold n then staying on, with the exception of bryant, carmine & mal. mal is as mentioned previously just There the whole time with her girlfriend. bryant steps in as king of ferelden w/ interests in closing the big hole in the sky spewing demons in2 his kingdom yk. carmine shows up because she wants to help & she wants protection for bethany but she outright says she’d rather die than be inquisitor so cassandra is shit out of luck.

“CHANGE HER MIND VARRIC” “she once doubled down on insisting amaranth was a shade of blue because she didn’t want to admit to being wrong. no one’s changing her mind seeker”

alas is the middle child of eight and is thus very good with children and also bossing around people older than him. 2 of his older siblings come to the inquisition when stuff in wycome has been settled

i left ash with the basic canon background with Some variation (he grew up under the qun and left of his own free will when his magic was discovered n he realized he couldn’t take living as a saarebas

kat on the other hand was raised tal-vashoth and has bounced around basically all over thedas and leads her own merc company when the conclave blows up. she also speaks multiple languages. is there a language she doesn’t speak? probably not

just realized how long this got so im gonna like. stop my general rambling now but lmao yeah theres some basics. waves hands.