#i kept telling myself “something's missing.. and i dont know what..”

[vinestaff]

smile and please everybody :D

no text version:

[swagstar]

dispencer talk

[norrizzandpia]

The Softest Launch (LN4)

Summary: He tried to be secret, but the eyes never lie.

Warnings: NOTHINGGGG language tho

Note: it was lance’s launch that sent me into this spiral

landonorris it was a good race ❤️

Comments:

mclarenfan22 YO WHO TF IS HE LOOKIN AT

- oscarandlando4ever carlos?

- mclarenfan22 idk abt that one girl

Lando-my-love i refuse to believe he has a girlfriend

- ln4andop81 the red heart is saying something else

oscarpiastri congrats on the podium man!

- mclarennnn what do you know.

- mclarensgirl oscar. spill it.

——

landonorris fun day on the karting track! 🏎️

Comments:

ln4andop81 MAX IS IN ITALY WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND AND OSCAR IS OFF DOING PR IN LONDON WHO TF IS THIS.

- oscarandlando4ever we cant even fall back on carlos bc he is with charles at ferrari hq in italy as well

- Lando-my-love guys… i fear this is a soft launch

- mclarenfan22 DONT SAY THAT.

oscarpiastri tell her i said hi!

- mclarensgirlll HER????? PASTRY TELL US WHATS GOING ON

- landonorris will do!!

- mclarennn if this is his soft launch, i. will. cry.

——

lando.jpg she’s learning 💋

Comments:

mclarennn WHO?????

ln4andop81 I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE

danielricciardo i still can’t believe you let her handle your camera

- landonorris ive given her other things that are delicate too

- danielricciardo shes made you a ball of mush

- landonorris a ball of love

- mclarensgirlll i have never been speechless before until rn

- mclarenfan22 GIVEN HER OTHER THINGS THAT ARE DELICATE TOO???? AS IN HIS HEART???? IM SLEEPING ON THE HIGHWAY ALREADY AND HE HASNT EVEN OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCED IT YET 😭😭😭

oscarandlando4ever hes soft launching her so well and so gently i cant im crying you can tell this one is different i think hes in love guys

Liked by landonorris

——

maxverstappen 📸 creds -> lando’s “friend”

Comments:

landonorris i said say friend not “friend” ‼️

- mclarensgirlll BYE MAX IS TRYING TO HELP US OUT

- maxverstappen i think the soft launch is over mate

- ln4andop81 PLZ LET IT BE OMFG MY BRAIN CANT HANDLE IT ANYMORE

kellypicquet and lando said she was bad at taking pics 💀

- ynnnn idek where he got that from i literally have taken his insta pics for years

- Lando-my-love WHO IS ynnnn IS THAT HER???

- mclarenfan22 her account is priv but I THINK IT IS ALSO YEARS???? SHES BEEN TAKING HIS PICS FOR YEARS????

- oscarandlando4ever BRUH IF WE MISSED THIS RELATIONSHIP THIS WHOLE TIME IM THROWING MYSELF IN A WALL

——

landonorris I’m going to try and keep this as brief as possible because Y/n is incredibly special to me and I would like to keep the best parts of her to myself, but, yes, I do have a girlfriend. As you can probably gather, her name is Y/n and she’s been my lifeline for the past 5 years. I know this picture doesn’t really do justice to how she looks or how we are as a couple, but I’ve found that I would like to keep it that way. She’s someone I hold very close to my heart and keeping the quiet, intimate moments just for us is a high priority for me. All I ask from all of you is that you treat her with the kindness she deserves and don’t bombard her on social media. I’ve kept her away from the spotlight for a long time and have only made her presence known because keeping her a secret seemed worse than letting the F1 world into that part of my life. I’m glad you’ve gotten to meet my love. I plan on spending the rest of my life with her. Xx

Comments have been disabled on this post.

——

TWITTER

mclarensgirlll YALL SEEN THE INTERVIEW WITH LANDO????????? BRO IM CRYING HES SO CUTE

- ln4andop81 reporter: “were you nervous to let everyone know about her?” Lando: “well, the drivers, my friends, and family all knew i had met someone because apparently, according to them, i had a different look in my eyes. So, announcing it to them wasnt that nerve racking because they already knew, but, to the public, yeah, I was nervous. More nervous than she was.” Reporter: “so she was nervous?” Lando: “only because she thought no one was going to like her which is and was absurd. She’s the greatest human being I’ve ever met. There’s genuinely no scenario I could think of that someone would end up even slightly disliking her.” BRO.

- Lando-my-love AND THE WAY HE TALKED ABT FIRST SEEING HER 😫😫 “it was like my eyes were glued to her. I guess i was just so in shock someone could be that beautiful and, sometimes, i still am.”

- mclarenfan22 DONT GET ME STARTED ON HIS PROTECTION OF HER BYE “well, she’s just so perfect to me. The world I live in can be ruthless and unfair and messy, all the things she isn’t. I love her that way. I love her for that. She’s my quiet place I can go to when my job and lifestyle get to be too much. She’s like a time out and we both agreed we want to keep it that way.”

- oscarandlando4ever PLZ THE WAY OSCAR EXPOSED HIM TOO “when she’s around, Lando is so much more tolerable. She can calm him in a way I have never seen before. In fact, the engineers and I all agreed around a year ago that she needed to start coming to races because he was always a hot head if it didn’t go well. When we found a way to sneak her in and she did start attending events, he actually started to breathe if things didn’t go his way.”

- mclarensgirlll AND THEN THE WAY LANDO ENDED THE INTERVIEW WITH “But anyways, i could talk about her for hours, something i told myself i wouldn’t do. I’m in love with her and I just hope people understand we want to be left alone for a while. Just until we get married.” CRYING BC I THINK HES RLLY OFF THE MARKET THIS TIME

- oscarpiastri i know all of you want me to “spill” but really all i can tell you is that, yes, norizz officially rizzed his perfect girl and, yes, he is really off the market this time.

[freshlove-sturn]

house on the cape.

pt 1 pt2

based on last friday’s video bc im obsessed with it. (events that happened in the vlog may not be in order just so the story flows how i want, also might add or get rid of some things for that same reason ofc). definitely gonna be multiple parts if yall like it so please let me know!!

summary: when the triplets come back home from la, they reunite with their favorite summer tradition, staying in the house on the cape. amidst all of the familiar laughter, and reminiscing on old memories, y/n can’t ignore the feeling stirring in her heart. something that went deeper than friendship. as she grapples with the fact that her feelings for her lifelong best friend, matt, are more than what’s just at the surface, she must learn to navigate and balance the unspoken feelings, and the gut wrenching fear of risking it all.

a/n: sorry guys but i think im scrapping all my old fics. i just have lost interest in them and i dont want to give yall something that i just half assed yk. i just need something new 😖🙏 don’t hate me pls. also i didn’t proof read and i never do so hopefully this all makes sense LMAO

……………………..

“BOYS TRIP!” chris shouts through the house.

the triplets are back in boston from being in la. i’d be lying if i said that i didn’t wish that these visits would last forever. being across the country from my best friends sucked.

“oh yeah , and you’ll be there too. you’re one of the boys.” chris points at me, smiling before loading the car with our bags.

“chris please never say that again.” i cringe, but fail to keep in my laughter.

“i agree. that was disgusting.” nick chimes in.

“just wanted to make sure you know you’re included.” chris throws his hands up in defense.

“thanks.” i smile and shake my head before getting in the car.

we were staying at their house in cape cod, something all of us looked forward to each summer growing up.

we arrive at nate’s house to pick him up. after the group effort of showering him in compliments for his new hair cut, we get back in the car.

sandwiched between nick and nathan, i check the time on my phone. nick grabs my wrist and moves it out of the way to give himself a better view of my lock screen.

“that is such a cute picture.” he says admiringly. it was a picture of matt and i. the picture was taken from behind while matt gave a piggy back ride back to the car because my feet hurt from wearing heels to madison’s concert.

“you took it.” i laugh.

“i know. i really out did myself huh.” he hypes himself up. i smile and roll my eyes.

once we get to the cape house, we unload the car. all of our bags scattered haphazardly throughout our respective rooms. the same rooms each of us have stayed in for years. nate with chris, nick with matt, and me, having been the only girl, with my own room.

“let’s go to the beach!” nate walks out into the kitchen, clapping his hands together.

…

the beach was just within walking distance. matt and i fell behind the rest of the group.

“i’m so glad you’re back.” i tell him.

“me too. i missed you.” he replies.

“i missed you too.” i admit. “a lot.” i look up and meet his eyes. we just stare at each other for a second. we didn’t really need to say anything. it was almost just a mutual understanding that each other were our favorite person.

if only he knew the extent.

the only person i’ve confided in about my feelings for matt was nate. which was precisely why he kept shooting me knowing glances anytime matt and interacted. nate swore that he knew i was in love with matt for years, before i even knew myself.

i can’t exactly pinpoint when i fell in love with my best friend, but i do remember when i realized.

flashback

matt and i sit together in the hammock string between two large oak trees in the backyard of the cape house. the gentle breeze swaying us back and forth softly. the sun was going down just to the right of us. beautiful pink and orange hues paint the sky.

“i could stay right here forever.” matt breaks the silence that had fallen between us.

“me too.” i reply softly.

“oh hey i have something for you” he digs his hand around in his pocket and pulls out a baby pink seashell. he hands it it me.

“i’ve never seen a pink one like that before.” he tells me as i admire the gift.

“me either. i love it. thanks matt.” i smile sweetly at him.

“of course.” he returns the smile.

i feel the heartbeat in my chest racing and my cheeks heating up. the feeling i had been carrying around with me for quite some time became abundantly clear.

i was in love with my best friend.

when i got home that night, i tied a string around the shell, and wore it as a necklace. and i haven’t taken it off since.

end of flashback

that was back when we were 16. 4 whole years i’ve gone hiding my biggest secret from the one person i told everything to.

our gaze was interrupted by chris. “jesus, yall are some slow pokes” he hollers back at us.

we both laugh and pick up out pace.

soon we arrive at the beach. i’ve always loved the beach. it truly is my happy place.

especially when i’m with matt.

nick snaps pictures here and there.

“oh my gosh matt look! this is just like your tattoo!” i hold out a shell to him.

“oh shit you’re right.” he holds out his arm, revealing his tattoo.

“that’s sick.” chris admires the similarity while nick takes a picture.

…

later that night, we all sit in the living room debating on what movie to watch.

“chris im not watching planet of the apes again. we’ve watched it like 9 times already.” nick argues, shutting down chris’s pleads.

“how about grown ups?” matt suggests.

“yes i love that movie.” nate agrees.

“that’s fine with me.” nick shrugs and starts typing it in.

“is that good with you?” matt leans down to where i was sitting in front of him, his voice soft and genuine.

“yeah that’s good with me.” i tell him.

he smiles and pats the spot on the couch next to him, gesturing me to come sit up there with him. i stand up from my spot on the floor and sit down next to him. he drapes a blanket over the both of us.

about an hour or so into the movie, my eyes get heavy. i lean my head on matt’s shoulder, to which he responds with wrapping his arm around me. this was nothing out of the ordinary. there’s pictures going back to when we were in preschool of the two of us practically fused together passed out on the living room floor.

suddenly, a gentle shake of my shoulders woke me up from a sleep i hadn’t even known i fell into. my eyes flutter, slowly regaining focus. when they do, i’m met with matt’s gentle blue eyes.

“hey, you wanna go lay down in your bed? i don’t want your neck to be sore.” he asks, genuinely concerned for my comfort.

i look around, everyone else appeared to have gone into their rooms.

“yeah i probably should.” i say through a yawn.

matt grabs my hand and helps me stand up from the couch. we walk down the hallway. my room came before his and nicks.

“goodnight matt.” i say, slowly turning the doorknob.

“goodnight y/n. see ya in the morning.”

i toss and turn in bed, unable to fall asleep. i stand up from bed, and leave my room. slowly making my way to the kitchen to get a drink, careful to not wake anyone up.

i open the fridge and grab a water. before i can take a sip, i hear a familiar voice behind me.

“can’t sleep?” the sudden breach of silence made me jump a little. i turn around and see matt. he was leaned up against the door frame. his sweatpants falling dangerously low on his figure, his arm under his shirt itching his shoulder, exposing his midriff.

“nope. you?” i set my water down on the counter.

“hm mm” he replies.

we stand in silence for a few moments before matt breaks the silence again.

“wanna go to the beach?”

….

a/n: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LMK IF YALL LIKE THIS. SUGGESTIONS ALWAYS WELCOME AND MY INBOX IS ALWAYS OPEN 🙏 i’m using my old taglist, so lmk if you want taken off or added to it!

taglist: @honestlybabymiracle @pepsiimaxx @creamoncreamoncream2 @mattestrella @luvmxtt @rac00ns-are-c00l4

[norizz-nation]

Phonesex with charles

Oooh that's something quite fun 😮‍💨

Thinking about you all day ❤️

Summary: charles was away for work, for the mexican gran prix. the distance was starting to torture you as you became more and more needy for his touch, so you decided to call him

Warnings: nsfw, 18+, daddy kink

At first you thought you could easily spend your days with him. But somehow the days went slower. Your shared apartment with him seemed so small somehow. But you clearly dont wanna bother your boyfriend who must be very busy right now. You just stopped yourself from calling him. What if he gets mad about it? What if he finds it silly? You were just staring blankly at the tv as you kept on overthinking about it. Suddenly your ringtone cut you off as you flinched and saw charles’ name pop up.

“Hey honey..” charles called out sounding so tired but yet happy that he got to call you. “Hey charles. Hows it going? Today’s qualifying was amazing! Im so proud of you!” You said as you smiled and you could feel your smile just plastered to your face. “Thank you baby and yeah im doing good. How are things with you? Is everything alright?” He asked as you said nothing for a moment. “What is it baby?” Charles asked, his voice sounding so concerned. “No-nothing charles” you said. “Stop lying, there is something wrong. Tell me” his voice was demanding. Ordering you to tell the truth. “Charles I… I miss you” you said as you looked down, upset about the fact that he’s not here but also scared about the fact that he might think you’re being a baby. “Aweh baby, i miss you too. I’ve been thinking about you all day. So much. I miss your touch.” He said as you smiled a little. “I miss your touch too” you said.

“How much do you miss it baby?” Charles asked and you could guess what he meant by that as you smirked a little saying “so much that im getting wet just by your voice on the phone” you could hear Charles’ breath getting stiff. “I miss you so much daddy” you whined out as your fingers went down to your shorts. You let out a soft moan as you could feel your wet folds. “God, your voice sounds so sweet baby.” Charles said as you squirmed at your own touch. “Louder baby. Let me hear your sweet little noises” charles’ words really pushed you over the edge as you could hear charles’ breathing getting heavier. “Daddy are you hard right now?” You asked, your voice so whiny. “Yes baby, fuck. Im so hard just by your voice” charles said breathlessly. “I wish your mouth were wrapped around my dick, making it all slippery by your spit” charles’ voice was deep and you knew that he was jerking himself off to you. This whole situation made you go closer to your orgasm. “Fuck im so wet for you daddy, s-so wet” you said as you kept on circling your clit for the friction you’ve been wanting.

Your breathing got heavier as your whole body started to shake as you felt your orgasm rush in. You circled your clit harder “f-fuck d-daddy oh im cumming nghh” you screamed out as you heard charles’ whimpering which meant that he came too. “Fuck baby, I’ve came a lot, i know you wanna swallow my cum right now. Dont worry I’ll be there soon” he said as he giggled and you did too. “I love you daddy” you said as you smiled at the ceiling letting your head fall back. “I love you too baby” charles said as he took a deep breath. “But now i gotta clean this mess by myself” charles said as you laughed. “Do it just this time. I promise to do it for you the rest of the time” you said giggling.

A/N: requests are open! feel free to ask what you want me to write! luv you ❤️

[humiliationstories124]

Submission from a follower, if you have a similar story, please feel free to share it with me

ok so i went to a halloween party hosted by a friend of mine in town. i took public transit as i live in the burbs but i dont have a car. i went as a wrestler, and when i was getting dressed i texted my friend the host to ask what underwear to wear under. he insisted i wear nothing under so i reluctantly agreed and showed up in just a blue singlet, shoes, and socks to this party.

it was a gay party and we had all been cooped up from all the covid precautions so it was verrry raunchy hahahah. i drank i think 6 beers. and i made out with a cowboy i didnt know and unfortunately for me got ROCK hard. because i was in the singlet, i couldnt exactly hide it and the lack of underwear made it even more prominent and visible. I got several looks from guys i didnt know as i went over to the corner to get soft. but my friend the host saw me and started talking with me and his eyes kept darting down and i could tell he was looking at my hard on. i should mention this friend and i are really tight. so when he casually reached down and traced the length of my shaft through the singlet with his finger i didnt mind, even though we were in his kitchen and other guys might have seen. i did kinda gasp in surprise and couldnt finish the sentence i was saying. he took that as an invitation to do it again, tracing from tip to balls, and i didnt have time to stop him cause i had drinks in my hands. but when he didn't stop after that i turned away blushing and laughed as I said quit it and he did.

well after a bit i was soft again and was ready to leave and actually kinda left in a hurry. now my journey home was to walk to the metro station, take the metro to the train station, wait for the night train, take the train about 20 minutes, then walk from the train station to my place. door to door about 90 minutes. i should have ubered looking back, but that was pricey cause it was halloween.

now as soon as i stepped outside, the cool air hit me and i had a realization: I needed to pee. i had had like 6 or 7 beers and they had gone straight through me. i considered going back to my friends place but i didnt want to miss the train and i was concerned if i peed some would get on my singlet and nothing would hide the spot since i had no underwear on.

so i walked to the metro station and waited for the metro and took that to the train station. as i was holding on to the standing bar in the metro i started squirming in my wrestling singlet and really considering whether i should go at the station. but i decided to hold it because those bathrooms are gross and the spot issue. If i peed at a urinal and some got on my singlet everyone would see and the train agent might have said something or worse, not let me on the train, which meant I'd have to wait til morning to get home. So i walked off the metro, passed the bathrooms and waited in the boarding area for the train. it was about 15 minutes before boarding, and i was kinda drunk so i was texting my friend to distract me but he was still winding down his party so he didnt respond much.

so when I finally got on the train i was pretty desperate. i got a couple of looks cause my face was contorted with the tension of needing to pee, so i embarrassingly sat toward the back by myself and tried not to grab myself since i was just in my singlet. I didn't want to look like i was touching myself and risk getting arrested or anything, so i was careful to keep my hands above my waist, relying only on my abs and thigh muscles to hold it in. I was squirming for sure, and I kept alternating between sitting and standing every few minutes, crossing my legs and shifting my thighs to help hold it in even as the pounding in my bladder got worse and worse. I was constantly looking out the window, willing the train to speed up, and looking down at my crotch to make sure no pee had escaped. 25 agonizing minutes later i finally got off the train, barely able to walk i had to pee so bad.

So i started walking to my building with all my muscles tensed on not pissing myself and trying not to grab my crotch.

I almost made it, but a little less than 3 blocks from my house, i suddenly heard a cop siren blare on the next street and heard the cop car as it drove away. the sound of the siren made me jump in surprise and...

It happened.

I started pissing in my singlet uncontrollably.

I tried to stop the stream but my muscles down there were so worn out so when i tapered the stream for a few seconds, I couldn't keep that up and the muscles forcibly relaxed and I went completely on myself. I was mortified and so mad at myself and being so close to home but not making it made me feel like a little bitch. I walked the remaining 3 blocks to my apartment in the wet singlet and had to wait around the corner, crouched in my soaked singlet for a minute while a group left so they wouldnt see me before hurrying in.

[fortunapre]

𝐀/𝐍𖧞 this is the second to last part. I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW: “dont stop! your writing is god-tier!“ i heard you all chant in unison.

Dont fret little ones. 🖐️🙂‍↕️ Ive surely got some more ideas in the bank...If you haven’t, go check out my prompts list <3

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒𖧞 16+ (entire fic rating), swearing, mention of alcohol, mention of intoxication, a little bit o’ mischief…not really but you’ll see ;)

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𖧞 oscar piastri x fem!reader

Go back?? (Scene vi) Click Here!

𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐟𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐬 𖧞 Scene VII 𖧞 (𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞)

be honest im 𝒻ℯℯ𝒹𝒿𝓃𝑔 yall

December 17th, the same night

We both walked into the room in silence.

The only noise was the shutting of the door and a barely audible “Santa Baby,” playing from the other room. Instead of looking at Oscar, I surveyed the room.

Unlike the front room, there were no Christmas decorations. It was a plain bedroom, a guy’s bedroom by the looks of it, with only a small desk and a bed. I tried to distract my gaze from the man in front of me, but the tension was growing too thick.

I reluctantly looked away from the uninteresting room and focused on him. He was no longer facing away from me- he was leaning back on the desk, hands gripping the desk on each side of his body. No matter how relaxed he seemed to be trying to look, I could see how rigid he really was.

He was looking at me, no smirk present. With how serious he looked, I thought to myself about how I kind of miss his ever-lasting grin.

He let out a deep sigh and moved to fold his arms, his body still leaning back against the desk.

I watched as he slightly turned one of his folded arms, looking at his wrist. I assume he was looking for his watch, but forgotten he’d given it up to the festive host earlier. He sighed again and looked away.

I only kept looking his way. I was blatantly staring, but what else was I supposed to do. I was hoping to get him to look at me.

My staring worked, as he probably felt my burning gaze. He looked up, brown eyes meeting mine.

“I’m guessing there’s still about six minutes left,” He finally broke the silence, and told me.

“Yeah…” I had no idea what to say. Did he want to get out of here? Or rather, did he want to get out of a locked room with only me? “..probably.” I added.

“This is stupid.” I heard Oscar mutter. I'm not sure if I meant to hear him, but I felt kind of sad at his words.

“7 minutes in heaven is always stupid. I’ve always tried to stay out of party games.” I told him, trying to save myself from feeling embarrassed. While we were sitting in a circle, and as I waited turn after turn, I dreaded when I’d be chosen. I dreaded being chosen, because I was secretly hoping the person to choose me was Oscar. And now that I’d gotten my wish, he didn’t even want me here.

He saw my reaction and acted quickly. “No, that’s not…” his words trailed off. I waited for him to finish his sentence, slightly confused. “Not the game,” he added. “That's not what I’m talking about.”

“What then? Being stuck with me?” I didn't mean to say what I was worrying about outloud, but I continued anyway “Trust me mate, I don’t want to be here anymore than you do.” I lied through my teeth. I definitely sounded defensive.

He scoffed and I saw him poke his tongue in his cheek. “Y’know what?” Oscar spoke and he sounded deeper and sharper. Apparently what I said riled him up. “Maybe If you’d let me speak, I’d tell you. Don’t start saying shit just to start something.”

I’d almost flinched at his tone and curse.

“Ok.” His anger only fueled mine. I unfolded my arms and put a hand on my hip, trying to look as unfazed as possible by his presence. “Enlighten me.”

“First of all, why would you think I wouldn’t want to be near you? Did me kissing you not once, but twice, not mean anything?” His voice was raising, but he didn’t look angry so to speak. I scrunched my eyebrows at his omission. “Don’t answer that. I don’t care, actually.” He suddenly added, catching me off guard.

It was my turn to scoff. God, and he accuses me of being an instigator. “Asshole! Of Course it meant something, it takes two to go as far as we did, you know.”

The argument held confession-notes in between the lines, but any affection or truth was smothered by our matching anger. Neither of us were understanding the words that came out of our mouths, and instead becoming more riled up by the yelling. Which, we were definitely yelling now.

“Don’t lie and try to make me feel better, Y/N. You were probably just filled with adrenaline.”

“Do. Not. Tell me how I feel. I know what I'm doing, I knew what I was doing just fine both times.”

“Really?” He had a monotone accusing tone, trying to find a lie. He seemed to be unimpressed with anything I said now.

“Yeah. Really.”

I hadn’t realized how fast my heart was beating now. I tried to slow my breathing and be the level-headed one because his head was definitely not thinking straight. Apparently he had nothing else to say, but neither had I. This argument was stupid and we both knew it.

We both stayed silent and slunk against something behind us, not daring to look at eachother.

Then, I heard him speak again and prepared an eye-roll.

“Now, what I was saying was…” Oscar started still not looking at me. “Was that I meant that I’m what's stupid.”

“That’s an understate-”

“Don’t.” He stopped me. “Don’t try to be snarky, Y/n. Let me speak.”

I just looked at him then raised my eyebrows and moved my head in a ‘Well, speak!’ motion.

Despite my attitude, he stayed calmer than before and took a deep breath. “Do you remember Christmas, two years ago?”

That same question.

What was so important two years ago? “You already asked me this…”

“Just. Yes or No? Do you remember?” He seemed suddenly on edge.

“I mean, I remember it, yeah, but are you talking about, like, a specific thing that happened? I don’t understand…” I spoke, trying to convey my confusion. He looked stern, and intent on hearing everything I had to say.

“Yeah,” he clarified. “I, um, I’m talking specifically about that night. Christmas night.”

My mind whirled as I tried desperately to pick out an obvious memory, but nothing was coming to mind.

That Christmas was the year my brother and sister didn’t come.

That Christmas was the year I was gifted the worst sweater by my mom.

That Christmas I stayed up practically all night.

I remember staying up all night, because the next morning, my mom forced me to go into town with her. I remember vividly how sluggish I’d been the whole time. But… that’s all….

Suddenly, I remembered something.

The thought of staying up triggered another thought: that night, I remember sitting on the sofa, watching a movie, when someone scared the shit out of me.

I had been peacefully wrapped in my blanket at around 4 am, when someone barreled through the door.

Oscar.

It was Oscar that scared me. I hadn’t been expecting anyone, especially Oscar since I didn’t even know he’d been out.

Two years ago, we didn’t ever talk to each other except to tease, so it’s no surprise he didn’t bother to tell me he was going somewhere.

When he came in, I was confused. My confusion grew as I’d taken in his appearance. His eyes were barely open, and his focus was darting all around the room. When his eyes met mine, his eyes opened and his body suddenly stopped. Full stop. He planted his feet and stared at me. His jaw was slack and his cheeks, from what I could tell in the little light from the kitchen behind me, was pinker than normal.

He was drunk. Oscar had come home drunk that night and had seen me when he walked through the door.

At the time, I remember laughing at him and turning back to my movie to ignore him.

But that’s not where the altercation ended– drunk Oscar had said something.

I remembered Oscar stopping, looking at me, and then he showed the broadest smile (one I'm sure would never have been directed towards me, had he been sober). Then, he sauntered closer to the sofa, out of the doorway and in front of my view of the television.

“Oscar…” I groaned. “Just go to bed, mate, your wasted.”

He stayed in place, restricting my vision and looking at me. Actually, he was staring at me. Actually he was staring all over me.

That night, I was wearing my short PJ shorts, and a Star Wars t-shirt. Nothing special, but it definitely caught drunk-oscar’s attention.

“Hello?” I tried again, but he was unrelenting.

“What?” was all he answered with.

“Get out of my way, that’s what.” I snapped, just trying to watch Princess Diaries.

He looked behind him to the screen and a grimace filled his whole face. Usually Oscar’s expressions consisted of mad and smirky-jerk, but when he was drunk, tons of emotions flashed on and off his face.

“That’s shit.” He must have been referring to the movie. His voice was groggy and deep, probably tired after what seemed like an exciting night.

“Whatever.” I gave up with the television and just wanted him to leave. “Just go to your room before someone else catches a visual of your post-party debauchery.”

“Dirty girllll,” he said slowly, borderline slurring. “Stop thinking about my de-whatever.” I quirked an eyebrow and shook my head at him. He seemed so incredibly out of it. I should totally hold this over him. Where’s my phone? I should totally film this.

I gave up looking for my phone, and looked back at oscar. Still standing there.

“Wait, what? I wasn’t at a party…” Oscar spoke, referring to my earlier statement of his “post-party” inebriation- an incredibly late reaction.

“Okayyyy…?” I said slowly. “Then what’s,” I motioned to all of him, “this?”

“Nothing.” He said rather quickly. Then his tempo changed as he looked down, almost shy. “None of your business, alright?” I nodded, but he kept speaking. “Actually, this has nothing to do with,” He copied my motion with a serious amount of sass and gestured to all of me, “…you. Ok?”

“Yeah, alright.” I was over this. He’s obviously completely drunk.

“I'm serious! Don’t accuse me of getting drunk because of my feelings, ok? Don’t even think about it. Why would I care about you… let along get drunk over fucking childhood crush on you? That’s ridiculous, and entirely possible— That’s not the point!”

Wait.

Back to the present- I now know why Oscar’s worried about that night.

Oscar must not have been that plastered if he now remembers what he said. Or rather, what he confessed. At the time I ignored his rambling and walked him to his room, away from me.

Now, I’m not sure all of that was just drunk-rambling.

Oscar was watching me figure everything out, watching me realize what he was so afraid of.

“I remember you rambling about having a… but there’s no way.” I said out loud to him, voicing my spinning thoughts. He just kept looking at me. “Right?” My voice got softer as I took in what Oscar’s silence might mean. “But you hated me.”

“Y/N.” He spoke like I was stupid.

“What?” I fired back, getting defensive.

“I never hated you, think about it.” He was trying to make me realize it, but all of my memories of him are arguments– save the past week.

“I am thinking about it. You always picked on me and fought with me. You said the meanest things and I always fought back. We’ve never gotten along…” I tried to list.

Then, all of a sudden, a smirk formed on his face.

That same smirk I’d claimed I’ve been missing, now felt weirdly… intimate?

“Oscar, you…” I didn’t know what to say.

“Yeahh” Is all he replied with, smirking and telling me all I need to know with one look. He started to move closer to me.

Step by step, he slowly walked towards me like he was testing my reaction. I just let him come closer and closer until we were face to face. Pine and wintergreen filled my senses. Our eye contact never waivered.

“Y/n, I don’t mean to bring this all up now.” he gestured to the door. His smirk lessened in intensity as he tried to apologize.

I suddenly remembered we’re in the middle of a 7 minutes in heaven game. And that it’s definitely been longer than 7 minutes.

(My sister was the culprit of our unexpected extra time, having told them to leave us alone.)

I focused back on the man in front of me. The man who had practically just confessed to me that he had a childhood crush on me. A childhood crush that he claims has never left.

“This is stupid.” I copied his words form before.

“Oh?” Oscar almost recoiled, hurt flashing on his face.

“No! Not… Not you! Not this.” I reacted and grabbed at the front of his shirt, not wanting him to misunderstand me and turn away.

Both of our breathing hitched at the contact, and the proximity it brought.

“Ok, then what do you mean?” He said, softly. His eyes were trained on my lips. I opened my mouth and closed it again, not knowing how to say this.

“I mean I’m stupid. Im stupid for not realizing it sooner. Im stupid for being so harsh and rude and-” I started apoligizing as my emotions began rising.

“I was rude too.”

“Yeah, but you…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. His confession was still new. However, the more I thought about him— Oscar Piastri, my rival and hater in every way—my mind started to clarify.

“Yeah, I…” He couldn’t say it either it seems.

We both stood close, not fully saying what we meant out loud yet still fully understanding what each other meant and wanted.

Seconds passed by of us relishing the new emotions, my grip never leaving him. We practically shared air at how close we were and our eyes locked. I started to feel what could only be described as butterflies.

It washed over me and the idea hit me like a train: I wanted him too. Maybe more than he wants me.

At this revelation I tugged him to my level and brought my lips to his ear.

I didn’t want to waste anymore time arguing or lying to ourselves.

I took a short breath and then whispered, “let’s get out of here.”

Then in almost one motion he smiled, a devilishly handsome smirk, then he grabbed my hand and took us away from the party.

Away from prying eyes.

hehehehhehehe 🫵💋

OH? WHATS THAT?!?! YOU GOT HERE FIRST BECAUSE, gasp!, you’re on my taglist?!?!?

any other people i missed or new people that want to be tagged, COMMENT or MESSAGE ME!

𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𖧞

@someinsanefangirl @iloveotters11 @chunkpiboli @marauders-wife @eclecticcreatorweaselsalad @verstxppen33 @silverxxs-world @zupercoolgirl @forza-charles @il0vereadingstuff

my apologies if i couldn’t tag you but hopefully you got my messsge <3

[dira333]

dira my darling!

can i request a fluffy plotbunny with bakugo? something with casual dominance, bc i would love to have someone boss me around. like,, he says sit and im sat? Im very bossy/pushy overall so a bf that's casually dominant and who i dont have to think around or help lead like i do everything else would be a dream come true xD

thank you for being so kind as to share your amazing pieces with us!!!!

*Pretending I have the time to write by eating my lunch in front of the computer* It's called Multi-Tasking

Also, I've had a hard time with this prompt because it feels like it's skirting along the line of suggestiveness, or is that just me being weird?

Going back in time...

"Stay," a voice whispers as you get up, warm lips pressed against the shell of your ear. "I'll get your drink."

"If only you'd listen to someone else like that," your best friend scoffs the moment you're seated again.

"Hah?" You ask, hackles rising.

"You know exactly what I'm referring to," Mina scoffs yet again, staring you down. Or at least, she's trying.

Your best friend of almost twenty years might just be as bossy as you are, but that doesn't mean you bow to her whims. Like she'd do it for you...

"What are we talking about?" Kirishima leans in, propping his head on his girlfriend's shoulder.

"How my best friend in the world does not listen to me." Mina points one pointy nail at you. "Especially considering I'm the one planning her surprise party."

"Please," you scoff, "like it could have been a surprise. You could never keep a secret from me. I'm just taking care of it."

"Bakugo!" Mina calls for the kitchen where your fiancé went seconds ago to get you another drink. "Help me here! Your fiancée's still trying to weasel her way into planning her own surprise party."

"Like hell, I'm helping you," Bakugo scoffs, looking down his nose at her. "And if my Baby doesn't trust your taste, I fully trust hers." He leans down to kiss you, pressing the glass into your hands.

"But I'm getting the flowers tomorrow."

"But-" You try to intervene but one look from him has you silent.

"See!" Mina asks Kirishima, pointing at the two of you. "One look and she shuts up. It never works when I do it."

"Yeah, but it's Bakugo," Kirishima offers like it's all the explanation needed.

-

"Do you ever listen to somebody?" Bakugo asks, raspy morning voice cutting through the Silence. You barely keep yourself from flinching, but the smirk on his lips tells you that he noticed. It seems he loves surprising you the most, mainly because you pride yourself in not getting surprised.

"I listen to a lot of people," you claim as you return to checking the Buffet table. You'd asked for Vegan Options and an egg-free dessert for the new secretary. Sweet-tooth, but highly allergic. It happens.

"You hear them," he says, "but you don't listen. Because I definitely heard Yukon tell you that he had the Buffet under control yet you're checking his work."

"And rightly so," you point out. "We're missing the egg-free dessert option."

"So?"

"So? I asked for it. He said he'd get it done. Do I have to do everything myself here? Apparently so."

"Sit down," he orders calmly, and you'd maybe wonder about his lack of temper had you not experienced him being like that around you for the last three years. Apparently, Bakugo turns into the chillest little prankster you could think of, but only around you. "I'll get it done."

You want to say something, but you decide against it. You've seen Bakugo deal with other stuff before, stuff that was definitely more important than getting an egg-free dessert for the new secretary. You know he can get this done.

"Fine," you huff, "But make it quick. I still need to go over the new recruits with you."

"Have I ever kept you waiting?" He asks as he turns away, leaving you flustered.

-

"Maybe we should appoint her for Class President," Sato offers quietly, but not quietly enough. "She's managed to talk Mina down in less than five seconds and it doesn't look like she takes shit from anyone."

"The title of Class President is-"

A loud boom interrupts whatever Iida has tried to say. When the smoke clears, there's only a small force field keeping Bakugo from strangling Kaminari, who looks a lot less frightened than anyone in his position should be.

"Calm down, will you?" You ask, looking down at Bakugo from where you're standing. Keeping up the force field is taking its toll, but you'd rather puke than admit to it. Not in front of Bakugo at least. "Aren't you better than that?"

Surprisingly, that seems to work. He calms down quickly, leaning back in his chair with a scoff. "True." He says, but his blood-red eyes don't leave you. It feels like a Challenge. One you're not sure you'll win.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for leaving a DND campaign abruptly?

Some backstory: I had joined a DND game about 5 years ago right after breaking up with my toxic ex at the time. Me and my ex were both trying to be cordial at this time and ended up both joining a DND game run by a mutual friend.

In our first session, I had noticed my ex made her character be a parody of me that she made look like an awful person. She then kept dm-ing me during our sessions to tell me how to play my character better and other general backseat gaming stuff.

Very quickly, maybe about a month in, I contacted the DM about leaving the campaign due to wanting to distance myself from my ex. She was very upset I wanted to leave and offered to kick my ex from the group instead. I declined saying it would only cause more drama. The DM agreed to let my character go off at the end of the activity we were gonna do that session so it would make sense story-wise.

But this departure did not happen. after that conversation she vague-posted onling about how people dont want to be her friend. She then purposefully kept extending this part of the plot, just so I wouldnt leave the game and could realize it could still be fun. I told her outright I could not do this anymore after 3 more additional sessions and telling me she'll get to my character's exit soon. I always felt like an ass to the other players in the game for leaving them abruptly but I could not do it anymore.

Fast forward roughly 4 years, the DM tells me she is going to make a new campaign and would like for me to join since my ex was no longer in it. I agreed as I had missed playing DND a lot.

For the past year or so I have been in this campaign and it can be fun at times but I still feel out of place. This new session is a direct continuation of the previous campaign's storyline and regularly references it. Now, as far as I know my ex's character has not been referenced at all but I am constantly reminded of this situation whenever they mention a character's name I don't remember (because honestly I don't remember her characters name nor do I want to). I know I said to not bring her up around me but I don't quite trust this friend to keep her word. Simply because I don't think she ever remembers anything I tell her out of a place of... just not caring.

The DM and I just don't quite mesh that well. I don't really like her DM-ing style of making it up as the session happens. I don't like that she will constantly decide what my character is doing, even if I ask to do something, she tells me to roll to see if i can, i can get a nat20 and she will still decide what my character will do next based on what she thinks is funnier to her but makes my next action harder to accomplish.

I have dm'd her to talk about the progression of my character arc (after she constantly implys in session my character is the comedic relief and doesnt have any character development) and she'll go ooo and aaa (literally all she would say) but never actually implement anything I recommend.

I kept saying to myself it will get better in time. I have voiced my wants for my character, and they are ignored. In session, my character actions are essentially decided for me no matter how I roll the dice. It feels weird to be around half of the party bc they spent 4 years in a campaign with my ex who played a parody of me. esp hard after the DM keeps making me be the comedic relief even though I keep trying to play more seriously. other players constantly joke about how my character is gonna be the one that gets them all killed etc because of actions I dont necessarily decide.

Now as mentioned before, DM is also known to vague-blog about how "her friends secretly hate her" at any moment as well. This has happened before after I tried to "real talk" with her a handful of times over unrelated topics too (even if she initiates this conversation)

Given everything above, I want to leave this DND game after giving it a try for a year (really giving it an opportunity to improve). We left off with my character running off alone to get supplies for the party. I was thinking I could make a statement saying I had some personal things come up and I need to leave the game abruptly and leave it to the DM to decide what to do with my character.

Now I feel like I may be the AH because: I am leaving the game abruptly for a second time technically. I would contact the DM on how to make it make sense for my character to depart, but I feel like she will do the same thing as before with the previous campaign and keep putting it off, especially after ignoring my character growth ideas for a year in this current campaign. I also feel like I may be the AH because in character my group does need those supplies, but there is nothing stopping the DM from controlling my character to deliver supplies within the first 5 minutes of the next session.

[wish-i-were-heather]

GOOD CHEMISTRY ⤵ XANDER HAWTHORNE X READER

ABOUT: 1685 words, no use of y/n

STORY: xander is assigned to be your lab partner for an assignment that neither of you really understand

WARNINGS: none!!

A/N: this is actually inspired by a real lab i did in my chem class bc my friend reminded me of xander. a lot of the dialogue is actual real dialogue we had lmao. so yeah fair warning that this isn't very well written just something i threw together for fun :) also i dont understand chemistry at all so sorry if anything's incorrect

“Alright, you may begin.”

You were standing alone in the corner of your science classroom. Your teacher said she was going to randomly assign partners for the lab. But there was an odd number of people, so you were left alone. 

You looked around a bit to make sure there wasn’t anyone else who didn’t have a lab partner before walking to the front of the class.

“Uh, Mrs. Watson?” You asked. She looked up from her computer with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yes?”

You cleared your throat. “I don’t have a partner.”

She frowned, standing up from her desk and looking over the classroom. “Oh, that’s my mistake. We’re missing a student today, I marked that in attendance. I didn’t realize that when giving partners. My apologies.” She pointed at a pair working at the table in the back corner. “Can I ask you to go join-”

“I’m here!”

The door slammed open and hit the wall with a loud bang! Everyone’s heads turned, and the class went silent. But they all went back to their work when they saw who it was.

“You’re late, Mr. Hawthorne,” Mrs. Watson sighed. “Again.”

Xander’s backpack was slung hastily over one shoulder. He closed the classroom door and nodded. “Yup! Third time this week. But, in my defense-”

“I don’t want to hear it.” She pointed at you. “Your partner will tell you what we’re doing. Get to work.”

He nodded again, turning to you and offering a wide smile. 

“So… that empty table in the back?”

~~~

Five minutes later, you had everything set up. There were strangely colored chemicals in different tubes, and you were both wearing the aprons and goggles that you were required to.

You looked down and frowned. The aprons themselves were ugly, plus the goggles. You weren’t wearing them, and you really didn’t want to. Part of you wondered if getting burned by a chemical was all that bad after all.

But you kept it on.

With a sigh, you slipped on the goggles and looked up at Xander. He was finishing tying the back of his apron too, and for a moment you just watched him.

His dark hair was tousled, like he hadn’t had time to brush it that morning. You could see just beneath the atrocious apron that he was wearing, that the tie of his school uniform was loosely askew. His tongue was poking slightly out of his mouth in focus as he finished tying the back.

When he finished, Xander’s eyes wandered from the supplies on the table before meeting hours. But at first, neither of you said anything.

You decided to break the silence.

“Nice eyebrow.”

“Thanks,” He grinned. “Grew it myself.”

“And the other?” You asked.

“I was left unattended.”

“Figures.”

Xander motioned towards all the stuff on the table. Tubes, flasks, off-looking liquids. You didn’t know what you were supposed to be doing with any of it. You’d stayed up late writing an entire essay, so you were running on little sleep

Apparently, there was a reason you were given three weeks to write it instead of two hours. 

“So what are we doing?” He asked. 

“Honestly, I have zero idea,” you told him. “I wasn’t paying any attention.”

“Oh, well, I wasn’t here, so I couldn’t have been paying attention. This is kinda all on you.”

You stepped up to the table and picked up the instructions Mrs. Watson passed out that you hadn’t bothered to read. But reading them over, you realized you didn’t understand any of it.

“This is all, like, fancy chemistry stuff,” you said.

Xander took the paper from you. “Let me see that.” He looked it over for a minute, reading fairly quickly for the amount of small text that was on the paper. 

You studied his expression. “Should we ask for help?”

“No-” Xander snapped immediately. “She doesn’t like me.”

“I mean, you are always late.”

“But I am an excellent student!” He insisted as he put down the paper. “She just doesn’t know how to appreciate my gifts.”

“Did you gift her your eyebrow or something?” 

He stuck out his tongue at you. “Do you want me to help you finish this lab or not?”

“Fine, fine,” you said, unable to stop the corner of your lips from turning up. “So what are we supposed to do?”

“It’s simple, really,” Xander said, finally letting his tone drop to more serious as he turned to the table. “We’ve gotta take the pH measurements of each of the four liquids, and then mix them together to see if it’ll raise or lower the pH levels.”

You stared at him. “Huh?”

He sighed. “Just open your notebook. We have to hypothesize.”

You did what he said and opened your notebook. Rereading the instruction paper, it said you had to guess what happened when you mix hydrochloric acid and sodium hydroxide.

“Is that gonna raise or lower the pH, Xander?” You asked without looking up from your paper.

“Raise,” he answered. “More of a base.”

Silence fell between the two of you again as you finished writing your hypotheses. You were pretty sure that yours was absolute nonsense, but at least you had something written. 

“Okay, thanks,” you said. Xander took both your and his papers and set them aside. “I’m not necessarily bad at chemistry. I’m just a bit… scientifically challenged.”

“Is that so? That just means I get to teach you. How exciting”

“That’s only half terrifying coming from you.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” He shrugged. “So, let’s start before Mrs. Watson decides to get mad at me again.”

~~

You quickly learned that “scientifically challenged” was actually a lie. You were, in fact, very bad at chemistry. 

pH scales made no sense. Xander had to do all of the measuring, while you just wrote down whatever number and color he gave you. The first was red, the second was a blueish-purple, the third was yellow, and the last was a greenish-blue. You promptly forgot the names of all of them the moment after he’d read them to you, but it was fine. As long as you wrote down the data and got the work done.

Xander smiled at you again, the corners of his eyes wrinkling behind the big goggles. He put his hand up in the air. “High five?”

“We’re not done yet.”

“Okay, but we did the first part. HIgh five me.”

You gave in. 

“Alright,” Xander clapped his hands together. “Next step. Mix them together.”

You practically jumped up. “Oooh, can I pour it in?” 

“The erlenmeyer flask, yeah.”

“Who’s Meyer?”

He sighed and pointed at the empty flask in the middle of the table. “Pour them both in there.”

“Oh, okay, got it.” You reached for the first tube with a white liquid and poured it into the flask. You then did the same for the pink one next to it. “Can I drink this?” You joked as you poured it in.

“No, you may not.”

You poured them in quickly and waited. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on who you asked, there was no big explosion. Xander stepped forward again and measured the pH. 

“Eight,” he explained. “They almost neutralize each other. Key word almost.”

You nodded and the both of you returned to your papers. “So,” you asked. “What do I write in this box?”

He stared at you. “The box that asks for the color?”

“Mhm.”

“You put the color.”

“So… pink?”

Xander rolled his eyes, but he had a smile on his face. “Are you doing this on purpose?” 

“Perhaps.” You got to write the word pink in the box that asked for the final color of the liquid, and then number seven for the pH number.

“Perhaps,” He teased under his breath, putting on a very bad British accent.

You looked up from your work. “Are you bullying me?”

Xander gasped. “No, of course not. I love British people. My brother is half British.”

“What?” You exclaimed. “Who? Which one?”

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter, we need to finish the lab.”

“I’m trying, but I don’t understand,” you sighed, deciding to ask him about his family lineage later.

“Have you ever seen Breaking Bad?”

You frowned, that was the most random question. “No.”

“Hm. You learn a lot about chemistry from it. I did.”

“I probably wouldn’t retain any of it.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “You’re right.”

You nodded and turned back to both of your papers to work on writing the conclusion, whether or not your hypothesis was correct. Then you realized what he’d just said- that you wouldn’t retain anything. 

“Wait, what?”

~~

The bell rang just as Xander handed you his paper, and you went to turn both of yours into the basket at the front of the class. “Thanks,” he said when you returned, slipping his backpack over his shoulder.

“Thank you, actually. I probably would’ve failed if you weren’t my partner.” You laughed. 

“Maybe this is your sign to actually pay attention.”

“Maybe this is your sign to show up on time.”

He shrugged. “Why would I do that? I kinda liked working with you.”

“Only kinda?” You teased.

“Sorry, I meant to say I’m obsessed with you and we have to do every single lab together for the rest of time or I will pass away,” Xander said, putting his hands on his chest dramatically. 

You rolled your eyes at him, just like he had before. “C’mon, we’re gonna be late for next period.”

“I’m always late,” he shrugged. 

You grabbed his wrist and began to walk towards the door. You were the last ones in the class, even the teacher was in a different teacher’s room talking to them. “Yeah, I’m trying to fix that. Let’s go.”

“We don’t even have the same next period.”

“I don’t care, we’re leaving now,” you insisted. Xander sighed reluctantly.

“Yes ma’am,” he muttered sarcastically.

But that grin never left his face.

the writing above belongs to me. please do not copy, modify, repost on other sites or claim as your own. © 2024 wish-i-were-heather

TAGS: (honestly im just gonna keep them down here because it makes the top part look more clean) @littlemissmentallyunstable @gretag13 @lanterns-and-daydreams @whatsamongus @alwaysthefangirl

@emelia07 @f4iry-bell @low-caloriesmonsterultra @that-daughter-of-hephaestus @maybxlle

@xoxo-vee @elysianwayy77 @midiosaamor @sheisntyou - lmk if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist!!

[melonbellys]

„i didnt want to, but you made it sooo easy..“

Kai Anderson - without consent.

-

This is my first post on here, it‘s just a drabble that rotted in my notes for a while, just for my own imagination.. lmao

-

Warning: this is a piece of FICTION with just pure non consent, if this makes you uncomfortable i advise you to scroll.

non-consent, p in v, reader is female, LOTS of dirty talk, degrading, praising, age gap (reader is 20, he‘s 30.) , reader was a virgin, choking, daddy kink if you squint, kai on adderall, deepthroating, fingering (reader receiving) , yeah if i missed something pls comment..

word count: 1,709

kai n i met in a vinyl store, he caught my eye and i went up to him, saying how him buying a vinyl is „sooo lana-del-ray“, making fun of him. he didnt mind and he even laughed along me, i asked him if the coffee he had in his hand was good and now im here, stuck in this cult, kai kissing my neck and calling me ugly names.

„i bet you get wet even thinking about me.“ he said, full of confidence, touching my needy cunt through my panties.

„tell me how much you want me to destroy your tiny cunt“ he rubbed his fingers roughly over my clothed-clit, it hurt. a lot.

„p-please.. let me go.“ i say with tears in my eyes.

„if you didnt want this your panties wouldn’t be soaked, you dumb little slut.“ he was visibly hard, touching me, raping me.

„please, kai.“ tears keep streaming down my face as he undresses my lower half.

„if you gave in, it wouldnt hurt as much.“ he kept on talking, at this point i was saying nothing.

kai slapped my face, his deep, black eyes digging through my reddened eyes.

„c-can we do this… when im ready?“ i say again, crying as i was still a virgin, a 20 year old virgin, while he was 30.

„you want me to, i know that you want it. your wetness tells me otherwise.“ he keeps rubbing his thumb over my cunt, making me gasp and whine.

„i- kai please i dont want you to take my virginity!“ i yell out into his face, his hand holding my face, his thumb stuffed deep inside my mouth, playing with my tongue now.

„virgin? you‘re a virgin? god…. i want to rip your pretty pink pussy open with my cock…“ he rambles him taking off my panties immediately now.

„please no! kai please…“ i cry now.

„you crying makes it even better, you are such a good toy.“ he spits on my face and i felt myself get wetter from his touch, just a natural response and i hated it.

„you disgust me; you are just a hole for me to fuck, do you understand?“ his hand was still stuck in my mouth, fucking his fingers into my throat as i try to pull away.

„i bet your little mouth would feel soooo good around my dick baby. if only you‘d stop crying.“ he was so mad at me, he knew i was interested in him but not into him sexually.

„if only you would give in.“ he says before he bites my own lip, i try to kick him away but it only ends with him holding my legs.

„why wont you be a good girl, hm? always have to ruin everything.“ he chokes me so hard that i cant even think straight, my legs resting on his shoulder.

i cry out again but i lose myself in his touch, i couldnt fight him so i just went limp.

„thats it, i knew you wanted this.“ his finger enter my cunt roughly, fucking his digits into my core, moaning and crying as he does what he does.

„your tight little pussy had me hooked from the start, the moment i saw you i knew how good it‘d feel.“ tears keep running down, i was trying to pretend this was a nightmare, a movie.. some kind off horrible porn thatd only weird people would watch.

„i never care about girls, i only fuck them, usually they thank me. kai you made me cum so hard, thank you daddy.“ he mimics some other girl, which probably didnt happen and he just said for his own pleasure.

„im just making sure you think of me when someone else fucks you, slut.“

„IM A VIRGIN! IM NOT A SLUT.“ i yell at him as he stuffs my wet panties in my mouth.

„SHUT UP.“ he yells even louder than me.

„be happy im prepping you.“ he said as he rammed his fingers in continuously, not even making me feel good and hitting the spot that id liked, it hurt. so much.

„does that feel good? i bet it does.“ he spoke through gritted teeth as his whole arm moved now, i shook my head violently and he took out the panties and stuffed his fingers in my mouth instead.

„tell me, is that not your cunt? does it not taste like you? hm?“ his nails dig into me, it felt close to cutting me.

„if it didnt feel good you wouldnt be this wet.“ his eyes were emotionless, he was clearly on some sort of drug, as i saw him do it.

„god babygirl, you had such whore potential, if only you didnt wanna leave.“

he said, referencing a few minutes ago, where the moment i entered his house, he started kissing me, i gave in to the kisses but said no to sex. his kisses felt good for a second, before his hand moved to my skirt and i said that i cant and had to leave.

„you have to expect that to happen, you are worth nothing. absolutely NOTHING. only just a cunt to fuck.“

he pushed me on the bed and threw my panties to the side completely, his fingers loged so deeply in my throat that i would gag.

„i want you to gag on my cock so bad, but im nice to you.“ he smiles, kissing my nose.

he turned me around and spoke „get on all fours, i dont want to see you cry anymore.“ i protest and sit up, before he pushed me down again.

„nu-uhuh.“ his tongue clicked.

„baby… come on.“ he whispered.

„p-please… be careful.“

i cry out again and again, begging for him to NOT rip me apart.

„okay, i promise.“ he spoke in a soft tone, this was oddly reassuring. even if i was raped it didnt hurt as mu-

he didnt even bother to turn me around now, and aligned himself with my entrance. before saying anything his cock slammed so deep and hard into me that i only could scream, him quickly shutting me up with a blanket in my mouth which he held there.

„fuck baby, you‘re so fucking tight, god.“ he spoke through gritted teeth, raping my cunt as tears wont stop streaming, it hurt so bad.

it stung, his dick was so thick… and long i felt it hit my cervix and when i looked down, i looked at the bulge in my tummy.

„you… argh~ fuck, so good.“ he couldnt even say a coherent sentence, screaming into his hand that held the blanket there.

his cock felt so warm, the sensation was new… but it hurt… more physiologically than physically.

i started to give in now, loosening up a bit, knowing it would hurt less.

„now you‘re a good slut, you take my cock so well.“ he says as he takes me by my hair to face me.

„i wish i could hear your moans and curses, but all you do is cry.“ he says as he kept slamming himself into me.

i shake my head, pulling out the blanket before i speak.

„k-kai… let me speak.“ he kept pushing deeper.

he takes out the towel completely.

„cumming?“ he jumps to the conclusion quickly. i shake my head.

„kai… it hurts so much!“ i cry out again before he slows down.

„i‘ll be nice.“ he says before his fingers touch my clit again, making me gasp.

he goes slower, hitting my sweetspot now too, making me moan loudly, giving into the sensation.. i tried to pretend he wasnt raping me.

„it feels so good.“ i say, trying to satisfy him, maybe he would stop.

„i told you baby, hm? sex is sooo fucking nice.“ he says before he whispers into my ear again.

„are you gonna cum? tell me when you are close. i want you to cum in my mouth.“ this made me feel sick, i didnt want his mouth on me, especially not on my womanhood.

i had hoped he was done, but he wasnt.

„im gonna fuck your pretty mouth too, you‘ll like that right?“ i dont say anything and keep moaning, him hitting my cervix again.

i didnt want it. i wanted it to end. so bad.

„p-please stop.“ i cry out again and again.

„no… you‘re just starting to make me like you.“ he kisses me, his tongue deep into my mouth and i let out a hum.

„i didnt want to rape you, but you made it soooo easy.“ his words hurt, he was traumatizing me even more.

„k-kai… why are you doing this?“ i look him right into his eyes, for the first time that day.

„dont… look at me.“ he turns my head away.

„i dont want you to look at me.“ he says as he slaps me again, just hurting me even more.

„im fucking you cuz i want to, bitch.“ he goes even harder now, i was probably bleeding too now and as he got even more rough now, my eyes seemed to upset him.

„you‘re on birthcontrol, right?“ he speaks through his teeth as he seemingly was close

„n-no, please… kai dont, just use my mouth!“ i beg as i look into his eyes again, trying to awaken the guy thats inside of his shell.

„and now we are begging, i told you you wanted it.“ yea. sure wanted it. definitely not trying to avoid pregnancy.

he pulls out of me with a hiss, my heat was hurting, swollen and just pulsating.

his hands rest on it and he looks at me, i felt sore.

„my dick is coated with your fucking juice, clean it up like a good little girl.“ he said as he ripped open my mouth, his tip resting on my lips.

„you have such a pretty mouth, put it to good use.“

he pushes his cock deep inside, my tongue gliding against it.

„mhhm, thats what i meant baby.“ he bucks his hips in my mouth as he holds me by my hair, i kept gagging.

„too big, huh?“ no, too rough.

tears were streaming down my face, and my eyes roll back.

„my fucked out slut.“ he speaks inbetween animalistic grunts.

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED !! pls comment n reblog maybe ! :3 i lov you

this is my first post, so again… pls dont be mean.

[mima0127]

confession I haven't stopped thinking about this for a while

ok so basically there's 2 best friends bullying me 1 boy and 1 girl .

Bully 1*boy Bully 2 girl.

One day I decided to stay in a room that no one uses to study after school and there .

I hear footsteps I decide to hide because it is forbidden to stay on the room after class

I hide in the closet then I see my bullies come into the classroom.

they started to make out after a while he started to finger her Cunt .

little whore that I am I couldn't help but touch myself while looking at them

after a while they stopped because of my wet noise plus I was moaning like a bitch

and there they discover me in the closet

Bully 2

[Well well well what do we have here while smirking]

Me

[shocked and ashamed comes out of the closet and tries to run away]

Bully 1

[makes me trip and fell]

They started laughing at me I started crying

Bully 1

[why are you embarrassed you was literally fingering yourself not even 5 minutes ago ]

Bully 2

[Ya and now you wanna act all shy like a Saint But you're nothing more then a dirty whore uh?]

Bully 1

[When we ask questions we expect an answer ]

Me

[But that's not true]

Bully 2

[Pull me by my hair ]

[So what your actually saying is if we check

your Panties you will not be wet

Bully 1

[Let's check]

Me

[No please I'm begging you dont have to do

this]

Bully 1

[Oh so you're a whore plus a liar]

Bully 2

[Do you know what we do to liars?]

Me

[.]

Bully 2

[pull my hair and slap me hard in the face]

Me

[they get punished]

Bully 1

[Since you like keeping your mouth shut how

about I give your something to keep it shut]

he takes his belt and spanks me

Bully 1

[you have to count to 25 if you miss you start again is that clear

Me

[Yes]

Bully 1

[While touching my cunt you liked getting spanked]

Me

[No]

Bully 1

[Started fingering so hard that I squirted]

Bully 2

[Aww she such a messy whore while lapping at my cunt]

[Do you wanna cum?]

Me

[Yes please]

Bully 1

[ to bad I have other plans for you on your knees now]

[What are you waiting for pull it out, remember no teeth and I like it messy]

Started sucking his dick while Bully 2 was

watching and playing with herself

Bully 1

[ I told you no teeth]

ME

[Sorry I'm trying my best]

Bully 2

[Doesn't look like it]

Make me deep throat him

Tears started running down my face I was

so ashamed but deep down it felt good being

treated like that

Bully 1

[Fuck I'm gonna cum open up

He shoot his load in mouth

Bully 2

[I'm so proud you took like a good slut and kissed me]

Bully 1

[time to get down to business]

I felt him sliding inside me it hurts

A while after he started to go faster it still hurted but it's like I wanted him to make me suffer even more it feel so good feeling him in my belly

Bully 2 started filming me

[It me out slut while pulling on my hair she made me munch on her cunnie]

Bully 1

[How does she taste?]

Me

[mmh she taste so sweet ]

Bully 2

[I didn't tell you to stop did I?]

I kept eating her out while his friend was actually destroying my insides ]

He started filming they both was laughing was like in each other eyes

while there was me getting fucked doggy style and eating her pussy at the same time like a bitch

I felt a finger sliding in my butt then two

Bully 1

[Next your gonna take it in your ass]

[FUCK IM CLOSE]

He came inside her friend pussy and made

me ate it they make sure to took tones

Pictures of me eating her Cunt full of cum

Bully 1

[Next we see you next time we won't be be as kind]

And they left the room

me getting dressed and thinking i never felt something like this but it was one of the best feelings

hope the same thing happens tomorrow i said

to myself coming home from school

[nerdysleepybunny]

Heyloo! I love your posts man <333 I have a request for the full score trio. What if they had an s/o (gender neutral) who one day asks them "what would you do if I were to get adopted?". Sorry if you dont wanna do this, I get it if your busy!

Ellooooo! I’m glad you like my writing! This is a really cute idea. Thank you so much for the request, hope you enjoy!

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

Fandom(s): The Promised Neverland

Character(s): Normam, Ray, Emma

Reader: Gender neutral (they/you)

TW: Mention of being shipped out

Style: Short hcs

Summary: how Norman, Ray, and Emma react to their s/o asking them, “what would you do if I got adopted?”

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

Norman:

“What would you do if I were to get adopted?” You asked innocently whilst you and Norman were cuddling against a tree in the forest, away from all the other children who were playing in the field.

The boy completely froze. He knew that you didn’t know about the secret yet, as he convinced the others not to tell you. He knew how badly it would affect you if you knew the truth. But thinking about you experiencing the same fate made his blood run cold. But he couldn’t show signs of fear, he didn’t want you to ask questions. So he held back his tears and recollected himself, grabbing your chin with his thumb and pointer finger to direct you to look at him.

“I’d miss you dearly, and do whatever it takes to find you again. I’d never be me until I found myself by your side.” Norman responded, letting go of your chin to wrap his arms around your torso, pulling you into him.

You didn’t know what those words truly meant, but were happy with his answer, moving your arms to wrap around him and resting your head on his shoulder. It was moments like this where you felt most at peace. He held you there for a lot longer, the thought still swirling through his mind. You didn’t mind though. So the two of you stayed like that, letting the birds chirp and the small breeze flow. You both tuned out the faint sounds of the other children in the background and overrode your senses with nothing but each other, drowning in the feeling of being so close yet still trying to get closer. Yes, you absolutely adored these moments. And you knew he did too. You just didn’t understand why. Not yet, at least.

Ray:

“What would you do if I were to get adopted?” You randomly broke the silence. The two of you were sitting on the library floor, reading separate books. The silence was always comfortable with Ray, but you just felt like this question needed to be asked right this second.

You kept your eyes on your page, not seeing the way the raven haired boy’s face turned to one of complete fear, something nobody has ever seen from the boy. But his silence was starting to worry you, he was usually quick to respond to something, so you looked up at Ray with a worried expression, becoming shocked when he looked just as worried as you. You could’ve sworn he had tears in his eyes, before he squeezed them shut and shook his head, reopening his eyes with his usual cold expression. He pulled you close to him and ruffled your hair, but you took note of how he held you tighter than usual.

“…I don’t think I’d ever recover. I’d never be able to smile the same as I did when I was with you.”

Although it was a simple response, it meant the universe coming from him, the boy who rarely smiled or showed emotion, let alone caring for someone. You decided to ignore how he kept you close to him despite usually not being very fond of physical affection, just enjoying this rare moment with him. Your book had been long forgotten. You were must more focused on the sound of Ray’s heartbeat and the sound of his voice as he read his book aloud to you.

Emma:

You were panting, bent over trying to catch your breath after running around with Emma. The girl was used to running, and had caught her breath before you, so she decided to pat your back and wave her hand in front of your face to try and cool you off.

“Hey, Em..” You said between pants. She continued to give you a cold breeze, but looked softly into your eyes, a look of absolute adoration that she only gave to you. You loved it. You almost forgot to continue speaking, far too distracted staring into the eyes of your lover.

“What would you do if I were to get adopted?” You’re not sure why the thought crossed your mind, but you were now curious for an answer. Emma looked down at the ground, thinking about the scenario. She felt tears run down her cheeks as she imagined your suffering. If only you knew the truth. Before you could ask her what was wrong, she grabbed your face and peppered it with kisses, before giving you a peck on the lips and pulling away sobbing.

“I’d be broken.” You pulled the girl into your chest, kissing her head and rubbing her back as she cried into your chest. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to tell you the truth. It was too scary.

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

Honestly I’ve been a mix of busy and just mentally unstable, drained, exhausted, dead- Point is I’ve been feeling horrible due to some personal reasons. But I’m trying my best to come back. Though I do want to apologize for constantly saying I’m gonna get things out but then never do, I don’t have a proper excuse and you guy’s don’t deserve some shitty lie or whatever so I’m not going to say anything except that I’m sorry. I’ll try my best to do more but I can’t promise anything. My old schedule is 100% done for as I now need the weekend to recharge. I will post random updates, small fics, and other stuff every now and then but I most likely won’t be writing many actual fics or books until the summer. I wish it didn’t take me this long to heal from everything because I love you guys and writing for all of you, but I also can’t rush my healing because I want my writing to be the best it can be. I know I apologize a lot but I really do feel bad for just randomly dying on you all and never really coming back. I love you guys. 💕

[wasyago]

Is the recks au dead?

recks au is that one corpse i keep in my basement that me and friends reanimate every month or so in secret. every time someone asks where recks au is i say "ohh they're okay they've just been really sick lately, but the doctors say they're gonna be fine soon... no, you can't see them it's very contagious, im sorry". obviously there's no doctors. it's been two years. the recks au i know is very different from what people remember it to be, no one actually knows who it is now, everyone misses the person that doesn't exist anymore...

jokes aside!

it's insane to me that people still remember recks au, and that new people keep finding it somehow even if no one mentions it anymore. it's not even the masterpost in the pinned, no one looks at that thing. like, you guys have no idea how much there actually is to recks au, you've only seen a very small portion of it. and yet you keep asking and you keep returning. that's crazy

i wouldn't say recks au is dead, i still think about it often and i still want to do stuff for it. but, just like with everything else, i want to but i don't do it. i dont know why really. i want recks au to be so much more, i want it be great i want it to be interesting i want everything i do for it to be top quality, and maybe because of that I've put too much pressure on myself for no real reason. not sure. it'd be better if i just kept doing little bits at a time and post about it every so often instead of just abandoning it.

the main bottleneck is "scar's story", a small comic series that was supposed to introduce scar into the au and tell about his past and introduce big worldbuilding elements, etc. i got all the way to the last "chapter", planned it all out and then never finished it.

and instead of moving on and finishing it some other day, and maybe focusing on other characters in the meantime, i decided that actually! no! im gonna stop posting about recks au entirely until i finish that comic! smart. once again, lots of unneeded pressure. why? I DON'T KNOW 😭

should i just forget about that comic and start posting now? better late than never? yes, probably. am i going to do that? mngnmhmmhgmhhmg.....

(recks au is centered around s8 of hermitcraft, and it's season 10 now!!!!! that's insane that it's been so long. should i really post about it now? is it too late? should i really do something for s8 when there's new stuff and new concepts to be made? am i playing into the consumption movement thinking that everything i do should be new and relevant and if i post about old stuff im outdated and missing the opportunity? why do i even care about all that????? 😭😭😭😭)

people have been mentioning recks scar a lot recently, mostly because of the charity stream bc he was a little robot on wheels (just like in recks au wow crazy!!!!!!!!!!!), and i do have a drawing of him done that i could post.................... and there's nothing stopping me except myself............................................ auggghh

[tarasmithshifts]

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐑: 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 2

𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐑. 2 years😭 𝐀𝐆𝐄. 16-17 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏: sirius, remus, james, lily, peter, dorcas, marlene, mainly people from gryffindor and ravenclaw

𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒. single (5th to the end of 5th year) TAKEN BAHSDHABHAHDB (summer after 5th year - ongoing)

「 ✦ 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼 ✦ 」

helloooooooooooooooooooo welcome back (i started like a freaking youtuber LOL) part 1 was emmm, it was a rollercoaster. A BIG ONE

— ୨୧₊˚ click here to read part 1 :)

im super super super excited for this part 'cause finally something cute is happening, literally those things that happened in part 1... WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT IT. WE WENT THROUGH IT, AND WE ARE BACK. part 2. let's do it

「 ✦ 6th year ✦ 」

𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮 - 6𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻

summer 1976 - I left grimmuald place 12 and ran away to remus. sirius did the same some weeks before me, and we were both burn out of the "Black Family Tree"

July/August - James Potter and Lily are named Head Boy and Head Girl.

October/November - Lily finally agreeded and started to go out with James for some dates

this are basics from og timeline because i don't want to spoil anything

ＳＵＭ ＭＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ a little reminder about what happened in last part - me and remus got together, and basically we are girlfriend and boyfriend, we spent time with each other more, trying to get ourselves more into this change yk 🥹

OKAY ANYWAY

after last day of school me and remus promised ourselves that we will write to each other as much as possible. boys did not know about ‘us’ because we didn’t know if this whole relationship will work 😭 so it was our little secret, but not for long tho

in july, when me and sirius were back at grimmuald place, sirius got himself into a HUGE fight with our father, and said to me “idk what you gonna do, but i will not stay here any longer”. he did not tell me where would he go, some days after this fight he left in a middle of the night. he just left me a note to do the same, and that in some weeks he will let me know where he is. i kept that ‘letter’ to myself.

when i tell you that walburga was PISSED. P I S S E D . as well as our father. they would fight over it, and finally, when it was clear that sirius is not coming back, they burned sirius face out of this family tree.

ar least they are proud of regulus 👍 good job mate. you will die. soon. like girllllll

especially that i’m super attached to him. he is my little brother and i knooooow that when i will shift again his death is gonna hit me like a train, BUT WE DONT TALK ABOUT THIS RN LETS GET BACK

when sirius left walburga was super suspicious about me and always was looking at me, controlled everything etc. i knew that if she would find out about remus, she would probably punish me for it or smth, so i sent last letter to remus that he should not write to me because my parents went WILD over this whole situation.

in august i felt empty??? i could not get any letters from remus, i missed him, i missed sirius. he did not sent me any letter after he left, but i knew that it’s probably because he knew what the hell is going on in the house rn. also, regulus started to ignore me, like walburga and orion did. annnnnnnndddddd that’s when i didn’t back off, and started shouting at him (reggie) and when walburga heard it, she wasn’t happy 💀💀 so she decided to fucking punish me, but this time i was like “hell no, fuck off” and the same night i left grimmuald place 12 behind me, in my past. i took everything i could with me, some clothes, books, and it was whole huge operation, because walburga and orion are those kind of people that when something moves behind some walls, they wake up. so what i did, was that i added sleep potion that i made in my room to their drinks that they were having before going to sleep. well, it worked HA.

but when i left this house, i was like “bombastic, but what am i going to do now 😭😭😭😭😭 i was literally without any house, i did not want to bother anybody, especially that it was 2am in the morning 💀 andromeda did not tell us where she lived so i had no idea where i should go, and the only person that i could think of then was remus. i knew where he lived, he wrote me his address in one of letters i got from him.

so i went there. by foot. call me crazy but i did that. i took some muggle bus and was on his street around 4am. i knew it was very early but i hoped that he will not be mad about it, or his father. they were living at the edge of london, it was quiet and lovely place to live. when i was looking round for his house, as there were only few of them, i looked up and i saw that it was full moon 😭 and i didn’t realise that before. so i was still looking for around like 25 minutes, and i finally found it. AND YOU SHOULD’VE SEEN MY FACE WHEN I SAW THAT LIGHT IN THE HOUSE WERE TURNED ON

LYALL LUPIN WAS AWAKE

THANK GOD

so i went to the door and knocked. i saw some movement in the window and was like “yuppp this man will think that i’m a freak. good job to me i guess” i waited a few minutes and he finally opened the door. i started apologising to him that i’m sorry that i’m here at 4 in the morning, that i know his son etc. then he fully opened the door and it wasn’t lyall lupin IT WAS REMUS 😭😭😭😭 i literally was so so so happy, i mean, he was shocked, i was shocked too because i thought that it was a full moon that night, i hugged him and he hugged me back IT WAS SO CUTE IM ABOUT TO CRY I WANNA GO BACK THERE SO BADLY

so we stayed in this position for some minutes and he finally made a step back, looked at me and said “what are you doing here?” so i started to tell him what happened few hours before, that sirius is somewhere god knows where, that he should write to me but i know why he didn’t, i was talking really fast and finally he was like “yo chill out, just come in and we will talk about it later, you need to sleep” (yup i’m living my y/n life LMAO) so basically he took my things upstairs and told me to sleep in his bedroom, and that he will figure out what to do later. so i went to sleep

— ୨୧₊˚ lupin’s house

it was like 11 am when i woke up, so i just went down the stairs to find remus, but he wasn’t there, so i just looked around and guess who i met in the kitchen 😭😭😭 lyall lupin ladies and gentlemen 😭😭😭 he was like “emmm you are tara right?” and i was like “yessss that’s me 💀” he was just walking around the kitchen, but he was nice to me tho. he said that remus went to james to tell him that i’m here. i was like “oh yup okay” so later i found out that sirius was living at james house the whole time 😭

so i wrote a letter to him telling him that i am at remus now, but i said that i don’t want to bother his family, so probably i will leave in a few days (i didn’t LMAO, remus stopped me) so that’s how i was living for next month, until school started. i got along with remus father, he is a nice guy, also he has good sense of humour, thank GOD 😭 idk finally i felt loved and as i was at my own home. thanks to the lupins 🫶

ＳＥＰＴＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ 1st day

lyall left few days before school started, he said that if i would need anything, he can buy me some things on street, but i was fine, as walburga buys everything that is needed already in june, so yup, i was stated for new school year 🫡

on a 1st day i finally saw sirius again, gosh i never thought that i would be happy only by seeing him in a crowd. remus told me what happened after sirius left grimmuald place 12, at least the part that he knew about. by this i also mean that he forgave him about what happened, so we were all good 🫶

on a train i found out that james and lily were chosen to become next head boy and head girl, which is the reason why they got onto each other.

sooooo me and remus relationship was still a secret, but i think that boys could feel the change between us, especially sirius, i mean it was kinda obvious 😭 we did not “hide” it, we just did not tell them 💀 there were signs, like sometimes remus put his arm around my back and hold me like this, or during the day when i tried to keep contact with him. basically only lily knew about me and remus. i told her right after everything happened in june, sooooo yup she knew since the very beginning.

whole September we were all excited to start new school year, but something started to feel different ??? but that was because of war.

but let’s concentrate on hogwarts rn 😭

so me and boys still took turns to stay with remus during full moons, remus wanted to complain about it because of what happened few months before, but he finally said yes.

ＯＣＴＯＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ boys find out about me and remus

soooo everything was fine at hogwarts, we were doing great, james and lily started to talk to each other, she would tell me about the conversations they had, but when i asked her “do you like him” she acted like she was angry and ignored the question or answered me with “don’t be ridiculous” soooo yk something was going on between them (finally) also sirius and remus told me that james is talking about her ALL THE TIME and that they are super tired of it. about peter,well, he was quiet as always 😭 so nothing changed.

me and remus were even more opened about our relationship, we were more confident about it? we were showing it ig 😭 and on one day in the middle of october, sirius, james and peter caught us in a common room and told us to sit down, their face went literally 🤨🤨🤨 and james started talking “okay what the HELL is going on here” so i looked at remus, remus looked at me, and i finally said “oh yeah we re together” and sirius went WILDDDD he literally looked at remus and went “THATS MY SISTER YOU MANIAC” and started chasing remus across the common room 😭 it was SO FUNNY 😭😭 after they were done (about 10 minutes later lmao💀) we just sat down in their dormitory and they were doing this police kind of thing where they are asking questions and shit 💀 pretty crazy but yup they knew since then

and because of that we could be more open about us and be ourselves bc of that. sirius was sometimes overdramatic about it but he got used to it i guess LMAO

also sirius got himself into detention 😭😭😭 AGAIN i’m super sick of this at some point 💀💀 he started to bully severus again, so i get it, but now lily did not react (he called mudblood as yk)

but james was a little bit out of business, because he wanted to impress lily, and you could see that. literally he was not helping sirius and peter with their pranks for a while, so he could convince lily to him, which was so cute ☹️

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— ୨୧₊˚ 17 birthdayyy

in the beginning of november me and sirius got letter from andromeda, that she heard about our escape from grimmuald place 12 and that she is super proud of us 😭😭😭 she asked if we have some place to stay and etc. to be honest, i didn’t think about it 💀 i didn’t want to bother remus but still i was too young to bus myself a house from money that i saved. sirius told me in the beginning of school year that he will stay at james during next summer, so he could later buy a house from money that he got from ⭐️

i just wrote back to andromeda that i’m okay, and i just did not think about it. it was not time for that too.

also, from weird things that happened in november is that on random day, when i was leaving great hall with remus after lunch, regulus wanted to talk to me??? like excuse you i guess? but yup he’s my little brother, i was worrying about him the whole time tbh 😭 so remus did not want to go away, he checked if i’m okay with him leaving, i just nodded, so he hugged me and just left 😭

SO ABOUT REGULUS CAUSE IM STILL BAD OKAY

he did not even say “hi” or shit, he just went

“oh so you are with H I M”

and i was like bro what? since when we are talking to each other like this??? what happened to hello? how was your day???

also he was nervously checking if the hall that we were standing in was clear. which was pretty mad, but i figured it out after i shifted back that he just wanted to check if any slytherins saw us 💀 he looked a little bit scared too. OKAY ANYWAY

so i went “why do you care”

AND HE RESPONDED “you are a blood traitor”

I WAS SO MAD. SO. MAD.

“that’s the reason why you stopped me?”

AND BARE WITH ME RN CAUSEEEEEE

“no.” he made a dramatic pause here lol??? “you know you can both still fix this”

MY JAW WAS ON A FLOOR I SWEAR, BECAUSE THEN HE SAID SOMETHING LIKE “you need to choose the right side. like mother said”

HE THREATENED ME TO JOIN LORD FUCKING VOLDEMORT.

BRO. WHAT THE FUCK.

hell no. I WAS SO PISSED SO P I S S E D

“reggie” “do not bother me again, please”

that’s all i said. the silence was LOUD, it was SCREAMING i think it was this moment that i knew that even if i tried, i would never convince reggie that lord voldemort and death eaters are not a good way to go to (if yk what i mean 😭) so i just walked away. and when i tell you i CRIED. i did not talk to sirius about it, i did not talk to remus about it, even tho both of them were trying to get out the convo between me and regulus of me LMAO, i knew that i would hurt sirius so i kept it to myself

ANYWAY

happy birthday to me and sirius i guess 😭😭😭

i am officially 17 in this dr 🤭

sirius ofc threw the whole party, but i passed. i wanted peace lmao. remus sat with me in his dormitory and we played some games, then dorcas and lily joined us, then james and peter. we had so much fun, it’s such a core memory 🫶🥹 I MISS THEM SO MUCH i’m sooooo homesick but yup i just gotta make my way back there (somehow)(even tho i know next shifts are gonna be awfully full of angst, i’m not ready tbh)

during the full moon this month me and james took care of remus ❤️‍🩹

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— ୨୧₊˚ christmas

okay sooooo HAPPY NEWS ABOUT JAMES AND LILY

basically james asked her out for a date and she said YES

WE WERE CELEBRATING and lily finally told me she likes him a lot and that if he would not be such a dumb-ass sometimes she would talk to him earlier 😭😭😭 i’m super happy for them literally waited for that moment for SO LONG. and sirius threw a little party in their dormitory so everyone were happy ❤️‍🩹

on christmas ofc we gave each other presents, but sirius went CRAZY this time.

1. he started dating a girl called daisy from ravenclaw (which was pretty crazy cause he didn’t pull up any girl for like a year or something?) this time he said that he really like her and will try to keep this relationship for longer than 3 weeks (they lasted like 3 months maybe 💀 james even made bets at this point 😭)

2. sirius and james were running around common room with a mistletoe to force people to kiss including me and remus 😭😭 pls guys i love them so much but WHAT

james and lily went out few times during december, and when lily was coming back to our dorm she was super happy and even tho she still had her opinion “but he is a dumb-ass sometimes🙄🙄🙄” she seemed to really like him???

sooooo also james invited sirius, remus, peter, lily, dorcas (and more actually it was a full-ass list with names of like 15 people and i’m too lazy to name all of them sorry 😭😭 maybe during editing i will do it) for new year’s eve, so we all needed to left hogwarts for christmas 😭 like girl i DONT HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE RN 💀 sirius stayed with james at his house, and remus told me that lyall is not coming back for christmas so we can go and live at his house for those 2 weeks, and we decided to do so ❤️‍🩹🥺 GUYS YOU DONT GET IT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AHHHHHHH PLS BRING ME BACK OMG

okay.

so.

i spent whole 2 weeks only with remus, it was super cute and cozyyy we decorated his house and baked (at least i did bc i was 17 and i could use magic legally outside hogwarts 💀) we had fun. truly these 2 weeks refreshed me soooo much, ALSO

LYALL LUPIN GOT ME A CHRISTMAS PRESENT 😭😭😭😭 it was little bracelet that remus told him i would like, pls lyall is such a nice guy 😭

and also i think the most memorable moment from these 2 weeks is remus christmas present, and by that i mean, he bought two tickets to “muggle” opera, and it was AMAZING. later the same night he told me the story how his parents met, and we played his mother records (i scripted that she was an opera singer!!!)

— ୨୧₊˚ new year’s eve

so me and remus needed to take a ride with this crazy wizard bus 😭😭😭 but we made it and spent THE BEST NEW YEAR’s EVE EVER. we had so much fun 😭 also i found out how many things in common me and dorcas have, which is funny because we were “friends” literally we live in one dorm 💀 but that night i got to know her more which is great bc we became closer as roommates. okay so basically during the midnight, when clock hit 12pm, there is this tradition that you have to kiss somebody for luck. so yup me and remus kissed (my cutie patootie ☹️) BUT ALSO WHEN I WAS GOING OUTSIDE WITH SIRIUS, REMUS, DORCAS AND OTHERS I SAW JAMES KISSING LILY???? I WAS SO HAPPY likeeeeee pls 😭

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i wil speed up those few months because nothing really happened except for some birthdays, and that was all because our exams, I WAS SO STRESSED IDK WHY i know that i will pass them perfectly (duhh) but i was stressed anyway. crazy time tbh lmao, everybody were busy.

about james and lily - they started to ‘officially date’ each other, which made me super happy, they are so cute 😭😭😭

also sirius broke up with this girl from ravenclaw, so it did not last long LMAO

and peter and sirius got themselves into a HUGE detention from mcgonagall for messing up her office 💀 which was crazy, we got -100 points from our house. you should have seen her, she was SO MAD. i’ve never seen mcgonagall so angry

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okayyyy so may was super chill month EXCEPT the final quidditch match. between gryffindor and slytherin it was AMAZING

okay so i probably did not write about that bc i did not find that necessary it still, i okay quidditch on one of ‘beater’ positions so yuppp i play quidditch 🤭 AND IT’S SO MICH FUNNN

anyway, gryffindor won after james found that goddamn little gold ball, when i tell you he was so annoyed bc he couldn’t catch it 😭😭 HE WAS SO PISSED, but we won 🤭

and after some other days of school work i “shifted back 😭” to cr

「 ✦ end notes ✦ 」

it was 2 months and im still there tbh 😭

ANYWAY

This shift was so crazy??? and fun???? and sad??? and cute??? AT THE SAME TIME.

i am now remus lupin gf. yup I WON

i’m so happy and i just can’t wait to shift there again 😭😭😭😭😭

remember that i will edit this page! there are A LOT to edit but i’m to lazy to do so 🤭

anyway BYE

[trainwrecksys]

ok!!!!!!!! i am!!!!!!! going to just say it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! long long post ahead!!!!!!!!!

yes i look like an out of touch stan with a victim complex for one character when i draw no one but bentham in my fanart and completely ignore everyone else to feel sorry for him and yes i am aware and no i dont know if anyone else sees this in me or im just paranoid but bro i am annoyed with myself !!! i hate how stannish i am sometimes because yes bentham had every reason to be called evil but yeah i had a good few reasons to have a complete breakdown when i read that in the book !!!!!!!1 too much writing under the cut about a lot of stuff that is in my head and needs to get out for better or for worse idk

i have made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement and i do not expect to be forgiven but genuinely the way me being a stupid shameless stan can come off to others even subconsciously is actually important because it makes me look like someone who would see a situation like the bentham siblings' in real life and side with the STRAIGHT WHITE MALE who has made more than mistakes and hurt people in moments of heightened emotion (end of library of souls)- but like not in defense of bentham for ONCE IN MY LIFE everyone feels emotions everyone gets hurt and he had a right to not be perfect after everything he went through but that doesnt mean hurting people is the course of action and bro i have completely ignored that and skirted around it for two years and IM NOT GONNA KEEP APOLOGISING FOR MAKING THIS TOO LONG BECAUSE IT BLEEDS INTO REAL LIFE AND I REALISE HOW MUCH OF A STUCK UP DICK I COULD BE NOT ONLY ABOUT THIS BUT IN GENERAL LIFE AFTER I READ THE BOOKS AND GAINED AN ATTACHMENT TO BENTHAM

the stuff im talking about is honestly mainly between me myself and i and most of the art i post is him either chilling or feeling a bit sad but the way i completely ignore miss peregrine's issues and betrayal to focus on how oh so hurt and betrayed myron was like there was no reason he was exiled

like yes years in a big mansion with three people to keep him company in the middle of devils acre with no way to resolve his trauma can do shit to someone but what about years feeling his sisters guilt, BASIL????? what about how she mustve felt after both her brothers DIED due to their own hubris???????????? what about how she felt she was a bad sister when she literally had to be like their mother with all the baggage she had then actually mother children while thinking her slightly better brother might have been getting better with him saying he was gonna give them info on caul only to see him SIDE WITH CAUL when he had just done something that COULD HAVE HELPED HIS CAUSE and then spitefully capture her and lead them into the mouth of hell OH MY GOD

and how jacob and emma had to deal with his bullshit being all "lets talk over tea!" and waiting for when it was right in the exposition to tell them who he fucking was, then telling them he BASICALLY KILLED JACOBS GRANDPA while giving excuses and them finding out later on that hE KEPT THE SUUL FOR HIMSELF?????? i made some bullshit reason up why he did that for my headcannons but lets be real the only reason they could have at least imagined was that he was planning on using it in the library. the information betrayed them either way and to alma again it was only a stab in the gut because he hurt a guy who was basically her son

overall hes not some aesthetic victimised pookie bear hes a more than flawed man who only did some things to mend his image and cant be excused for what he did and this whole post was basically me shouting at myself