#i kept waiting for it to take off but alas it proved my predictions from 5 mins into the film

[spellofwinter]

late night with the devil was so disappointing? how anyone can enjoy that movie is a mystery to me. have people no imagination?

[dragon-writes-sometimes]

Brave New World, Chapter 2: Meet The New Detectives

Chapter Summary: The detectives, Logan and Roman, have had a long night and are looking forward to visiting Roman's sibling. Remy has a semi heart-to-heart with Talyn, and a mysterious young man enters the picture.

Word Count: 6936

Trigger Warnings: Check tags. I’m lazy, sorry *shrug*

Chapter 1

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Chapter 2: Meet The New Detectives

The day had started out pretty standard. Detective Logan Abbott got up at 5.30 am, showered, got dressed, ate breakfast with some coffee on the side. Nothing out of the ordinary. He was out of the door at 7 am. At 7.15 am he was standing in front of his partner, detective Roman Moore’s, entry. He was not up yet, so Logan mentally prepared himself to drag the overgrown child out of bed. They had had a stakeout the night previously, so he would definitely whine a great deal. Logan got out his keys to lock himself in. It was a lot of fuss to get him out of the door with an adequate amount of time to get to work. Like previously stated. Nothing out of the ordinary.

“Why must you hurt me so?” Roman whined. They were in Logan’s car on their way to the precinct. “I didn’t even get to eat breakfast, you monster!” he exclaimed.

“Lucky for you, I predicted that. We are headed for an easy breakfast for you. I already ordered to ensure you wouldn’t pick any junk food,” Logan quickly added when he saw the excited look that grew on Roman’s face. A look that also promptly fell to an exasperated pout.

“You’re no fun, Logan,” he moped as he flopped back into his seat.

They soon turned into the parking lot of a small diner. One they were well equated with, ever since the beginning of their partnership. They had helped out the owner when they had been robbed at the beginning of its lifetime.

“Heya, Lo!” The chipper voice emanated from a head full of bright pastel-blue hair.

“Salutations Talyn,” Logan greeted them back. “How are things fairing?” Logan grimaced slightly at how his attempt at a normal conversation sounded. Talyn, however, didn’t seem to mind.

“Things are awesome, thanks to you and Roman having our backs. Speaking of, I’m guessing you’re here for his breakfast?” At that Logan nodded and smiled gratefully at Talyn who went out the back to get it.

“Joan is not here,” Logan observed. It was rather odd, seeing as they were figuratively joined at the hip. Logan wondered where they could be since they always insisted on staying with Talyn in the morning hours due to the robbery three years prior and didn’t want to risk anything.

“No, they got a tip about…” Talyn glanced up at the security cameras, a worried expression on their face. “… you know.”

“Ah, I see. Roman and I would be more than happy to lend our assistance in that matter. A child should not be alone like that.”

Talyn sighed to themselves, they never told Logan the full truth, since their operation was somewhat illegal. They had just told Logan and Roman that the two of them helped mutant children kicked out of their house by their parents. It didn’t matter that Logan, too, was a mutant, they couldn’t risk it. “We know, but we just can’t risk it. These children have grown up fearing the police, and they already have trouble trusting us as it is.”

Logan sighed. He sincerely wished the world would just accept them already and move on instead of insisting on criminalising mutants.

Logan put a hand to his mouth in an attempt to stifle a yawn. A poor one at that as Talyn elected that moment to return and shot him a worried grin.

“Late night?” they asked, placing down Roman’s breakfast in front of him. They gave him a sympathetic smile at Logan’s slight nod. “May I ask what you two were doing? You wouldn’t have ordered food for Roman if the two of you didn’t have a late-night together,” they added at Logan’s baffled look. “Yeah that’s right, I can do detective work too.”

“Merely a stakeout, but one that took longer than I originally calculated,” he admitted sheepishly, not used to making wrong calculations, especially when it was about his work.

“It only helps to prove that you are a human being. People make mistakes,” they smiled at him. “And speaking of human beings, don’t you think you should be giving this to Roman before he starts getting over-dramatic?”

“When is he not?” Logan chuckled. “And if I am correct, he will be asleep again by now.”

“Have fun with the drama queen Lo,” Talyn said. When Logan picked up the food and started to walk away, Talyn grabbed his attention again. “Oh, wait up! My friend Thomas and his cousin are opening up a café slash bakery today. They weren’t able to get a good location due to their budget, so it’s in a rather bad neighbourhood. I mentioned to Thomas that I knew you and Roman, and might have promised you to would show up sometime during the day,” they said, awkwardly scratching the back of their neck. “I have the address here. You think you could do me this favour?”

Logan looked a bit offended. “I would hardly call it favour; we are friends after all, are we not? And is this not what friends would do for each other?” he scoffed. He then softened his expression up and took the piece of paper offered to him. “Of course we would stop by. This does not have a name on it?” he asked when he looked at it.

“Yeah, I don’t really know what they named it, but knowing the two of them, it will most likely be pun-related,” they said, grinning when they saw Logan’s slightly horrified expression. “Now go! You two don’t wanna have Captain Holt breathing down your neck, do you now?”

Logan’s eyes widened, not having realised how long he had been conversing with Talyn. He hastily picked up the food he had put down to accept the piece of paper with the address on and hurried out the door. Talyn waved him goodbye which he barely returned.

He was by the car less than ten seconds later, and sure enough, Roman was fast asleep again. Logan looked at his watch and rolled his eyes before smirking. Roman’s seatbelt suddenly unbuckled and smacked him in the face.

Roman let out an undignified screech. “WHYYY?!”

“Simply. You were sleeping, which will throw off your inner clock even more than it already is, I have your breakfast, we have to be at the precinct in thirty minutes,” Logan listed off. “And I thought it would be fun,” he added with a smirk.

Roman mock-gasped, placing his hand on his chest in the process. “How DARE you?! Mocking one of the best, most handsome detectives the police have to offer?! I thought I was your partner, but alas, I guess it is true what they say. Your kind really is a menace,” he dramatically sighed.

Logan stiffened at that. “My kind?” he inquired slowly. He had trusted Roman with his secret knowing he wouldn’t judge and shun him as his parents had, but maybe he was wrong after all. He hoped he hadn’t.

“Yes, your kind. You know, brits,” Roman dismissed with a waving hand. Logan let out the small breath he hadn’t realised he’s been holding, tension slowly leaving his body again.

Logan handed him the food and got in the car. He shouldn’t entertain any more distractions. “Eat,” was the only other word that left Logan’s mouth before he turned on the ignition. He missed the sad look Roman sent him.

________________________________________________________________

Talyn sighed. They really hated being alone in the morning since that day, but they had no choice right now. It was either their comfort or helping many mutants find their way home, or find a new one. It wasn’t as if Talyn couldn’t defend themselves, no they were quite adept in fighting, and their powers complimented that. They just weren’t comfortable opening up alone. Their skills and abilities were still nothing against a gun or multiple people. At least with Joan, they stood a chance.

They wiped down the counter, at least there weren’t many people in the morning, only people having to leave home early for work.

They shot a quick text to Joan to see how the rescue was going. They didn’t expect to get a response anytime soon, so instead, they went out the back to check on the equipment and possibly clean some of them if the closing shift forgot. It wasn’t uncommon if they did. They were usually college students, so Talyn didn’t blame them one bit. They were in their place only seven years ago, so the experience was still fresh in their memory.

The tell-tale ding of the bell above the door was heard stating there was a costumer. Talyn moved to the counter again, expecting one of the regulars but instead found a tired-looking Remy Reverie.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed right now, Rem? You look like shit,” they remarked already in the process of making coffee.

“Yeah, well, it's not easy sleeping when Emile is a giant morning person and me being a light sleeper. ‘Sides, I haven’t been getting much sleep either way. You know, with the whole… ‘Reina situation’ ya know,” he sighed, gratefully accepting the coffee.

“She’s gonna be okay, I’m sure. After all, she has your snazzy attitude,” they said, giving Remy a small, sad smile.

Remy huffed out a laugh at that. “That she has. That she has,” he said under his breath. Then his face turned sad. “I just don’t understand why she would take off like that out of nowhere. I mean, she would have called me. Right? I know we haven’t seen each other in years, but we still kept in contact. She wouldn’t just do that. Right?” he said, looking up at Talyn from where he was sitting, scanning their face.

“I don’t know, man. I’m not the shrink here. You are,” they shrugged before their face turned serious again. “Have you talked to Emile about it?”

“I mean, yeah? No, I haven’t,” he conceded when he saw Talyn’s unimpressed look that told him that they didn’t believe him one bit.

“Why not? Em’s your partner, have been since college if I remember correctly. Your welcome, by the way,” Talyn said, trying to lighten his mood. They really hated seeing him down in the dumps like this. The two of them had been friends since high school, quickly connecting due to them having a shared secret. When Remy turned 18, he left his family for more than just one reason. He moved in with Talyn and their family soon after. Their family helped him financially when he had to start at college, where he met Emile, who was studying psychology like him.

“I don’t know. Maybe because that will make this whole situation real and I’ll realise there isn’t anything I can do about it,” he sighed downing his coffee.

“You know, you don’t have to deal with your problems alone — no need to play your own psychologist when you have Emile. And don’t give me that crap about you not wanting to bother him with your issues. That’s one of the reasons both you and Emile became shrinks. Because you actually give a fuck about others and you wanna help them get through whatever hell they might be going through!” they said, fixing Remy with a stern look.

“Easy there, gurl. Your wolf is showing,” Remy quipped when their eyes started flickering between their standard colour and striking gold. Talyn took a deep breath, and their eyes returned to normal. “There we go, don’t want any sleep-deprived gremlins seeing you now, do we?” he smirked.

“Asshole,” they smiled. “And you know I’m nowhere near being canine or did your sleep-deprived ass forget that?” they said, playfully smacking his shoulder.

“No, no, you’re right, if anything you’re a mama bear. Or mama hen. Haven’t decided, they are too close to each other to tell the difference.”

They softened up and placed some scrambled eggs in front of him. “Nice to see your sassiness is returning. Now, as the mama bear-slash-hen here I’m telling you to eat up!” They placed their hands on their hips, fixing him with a mock stern stare making Remy chuckle lightly.

At the same time, Talyn’s phone went off, alerting to a new text message.

“Go on, you can check it hon, I won't mind,” Remy gently said when Talyn didn’t do so right away. After another moment or so and another visional sweep of the diner, they looked at their phone, face lighting up remarkable at who it was.

Joanglebook:   Hey Tal. I’m a bit exhausted, but things went well. There were way more people than our intel said, but everyone is one their way home safely. Many kids. Taking them to X. Light’s going back to the states, brought a kid with ‘er. I miss you. Sorry, you had to open without me. I’ll be back as soon as I can.

“Good news?” Remy quirked an eyebrow after a few minutes of Talyn being quiet and just beaming.

“Very,” they said after another moment's silence. “Just gonna reply real quick. Be right back.” They then went out back to reply. Remy had an idea of what it was they were doing, but they didn’t wanna risk their operation being compromised. They had installed a receptor for their own small satellite so they wouldn’t be able to be spied on by the government.

Tallykat: That’s amazing Joan! Must’ve taken more people after they got it. Say hi to X and the others from me. And take the time you need to get everyone safe. There’s no rush. Logan says hi by the way.

Talyn hesitated before sending another message.

Tallykat: Any sign of Reina? Remy’s here and is really out of it. Works his ass off at the bar till early morning and barely gets any sleep anymore. I’m worried.

They sighed and put away the phone before going back out. Remy was still sitting at the counter, sunglasses back in their usual spot, and playing with the scrambled eggs with his fork.  “Joan says hi,” they said, trying to get Remy’s attention off of Reina.

He looked up at Talyn, sending them a small smirk. It still wasn’t the usual quality Remy SmirkTM, but it was close enough. “Sure about that? You’re not just sugarcoating the usual ‘wut up, fuckhead’?”

Talyn mock-gasped, looking offended. “I was trying to be nice! But if you want it that way, they didn’t even mention you,” they snarked back at him with a cheeky smile resulting in them getting a gentle shove to the shoulder.

Before Remy could reply, Talyn got another text holding up their finger to shush him.

Joanglebook:   I’m guessing Roman’s asleep since it’s only Logan saying hi. And no. Reina wasn’t there. I’m worried too. She could have a variation of his powers, and any variety of his powers is very powerful, making her valuable to any buyer or army. Stay safe yourself. And say wut up, fuckhead to Remy from me. Thx.

Talyn chuckled. “Joan again. They send their ‘wut up, fuckhead’,” they grinned, looking back at their phone. At the same time, the bell jingled again, and a young person with purple hair entered, sitting down at a table in the corner.

Talyn tried to make eye contact with them to show that they had noticed them and would be coming over shortly, but the young person’s focus was solely on their phone. Huh.

Remy noticed the change in atmosphere and looked over his shoulder to get a look at the newcomer. They wore all-black clothing, ripped skinny jeans, hoodie with the hood up, and combat boots. They had purple ends on their short black hair and feminine facial features, though that didn’t tell Remy anything about their gender or preferred pronouns. He sighed. He really shouldn’t be starting psychoanalysing a complete stranger he wasn’t going to see again anyway.

Talyn put their phone away, grabbed a menu and went to give it to the newcomer.

They returned shortly after with worry etched in their eyes. There was something about him (the stranger told Talyn his preferred pronouns after Talyn hold him theirs), something Talyn couldn’t place. Hopefully, he would come more often so they could get to know him, find out what it was that made Talyn worry for the young man. ‘Troubles for another day Tal, you got too much on your own plate right now, ha, plate. Pun intended,’ they thought, breathing a silent laugh at their own joke.

Of course Remy, ever observant, noticed the worry straight(ha) away even though Talyn did an excellent job concealing it. He didn’t voice his concerns, though, carefully observing Talyn instead.

“What?” Talyn exclaimed, making the young man in the corner look up from his phone. Remy just quirked an eyebrow at them. They narrowed their eyes at him in retaliation. “You just went all shrinky on me, didn’t ya?”

Remy huffed out a laugh at their remark while shaking his head. “Nah, I never get anything from you anyway, so I’ve stopped trying altogether babes,” he smiled at the shorter person standing behind the counter. Tiny but lethal. Remy learned that the hard way. He shook his head, almost unnoticeably to get rid of those thoughts and memories.

Talyn glanced back at the young man. He had put his menu away, so he was probably ready to order. “I’ll be right back Rem,” they said, walking towards the young man. “Soo, made up your mind?”

He looked up at them, giving a small, almost not there, smile and nodded slowly. “I’ll just have some mint tea, please,” he said, voice gruff like he hadn’t used it in a while. Or been up all night, one of those. Talyn wouldn’t even be surprised if it was both. He looked like a college student with the bags under his eyes, something Talyn was used to see in the college students working at the diner.

“One mint tea, coming up. You sure I couldn’t get you anything to eat?” they asked, looking him over again. He was rather thin, unhealthily so, and was quite pale. A healthy, nutritious breakfast would do him wonders.

He shook his head slightly. “No thanks, just tea.”

“Alrighty, I’ll be right back.” Talyn smiled at him and went behind the counter again.

“So, he a coffee addict?” Remy quipped at Talyn when they returned. “He looks like one, with the bags under his eyes and the fact that he’s here this early.” Remy sounded worried when he spoke. And if there was a tad of sadness there as well? Well, Talyn didn’t plan on pointing it out.

“No, he ain’t like you, Rem. You think every early bird are like you, don’t you?” They fondly shook their head at him. “And you and I both know there are more factors involved with bags under your eyes than just insomnia.” This time a wink followed.

Remy blushed deeply and awkwardly coughed. “Yes, well, uhm, I, you know, I’m usually right about, ahem, being sleep - I mean a coffee addict!” Remy tried - and failed - to backtrack. He just early himself a laugh from Talyn.

They knew exactly what they were doing. They loved insinuating things and making Remy a flustered mess. Not many were able to out-flirt Remy, but Talyn was one of the select few who could. Talyn finished laughing and decided to show Remy some mercy. He had to go to work soon, after all.

“So,” Talyn started, finding the teabags while the water was boiling. “How’re things with Emile?” they asked, finally changing the subject, ending Remy’s suffering.

Remy thought for a moment, smiling to himself. “Things are pretty great. We talked about adoption since the last time we spoke. It’s what they’ve always wanted. That, and helping people through the use of therapy of course,” he chuckled before sighing. “Don’t think I’m ready, though. To raise a child, I mean. It’s a big responsibility, and you don’t get a second chance with that kid.”

Talyn gave him a sympathetic smile before turning around again to find some sugar and milk. “I’m sure you’ll do great. You have Emile at your side, remember? You’re not alone. Plus, Joan and I’ll be right by your side.”

“I know,” Remy smiled. He refilled his coffee before taking a significant drag from it. He sighed when he put it down. “I just don’t know. How is it possible for me to be a good parent when I was such a horrible brother? I left her with… with them, and she was only six. You don’t think she’s been taken by them, do you?” He looked up with horror in his eyes at them at his last question.

“No, I don’t think so. She’d put up too much of a fight to be worth their troubles. And you stop that train of thought right this instant, Remigius Reverie! You are an amazing brother! If you’d stayed, they would’ve taken it out on her too, and you know that. And I know for a fact that if you could’ve taken her with you, you would have. Or even better, getting custody of her. And because of that, I KNOW you’ll be an amazing parent!” they scolded him. Self-deprecation is terrible for your mental health, you know.

Their outburst took Remy by surprise and earned them a glance from the young man. Talyn looked over to him with an apologetic look before returning to the process of making his tea. The water had just finished boiling, so they poured some into the cup they had found before dropping the teabag in. They put it on a tray along with some sugar and milk and went over to him.

“Here ya go, teabag has just been dropped in, and there’s sugar and milk if you want to add that. Sorry for the, uhm, outburst. Remy, over there, is an old friend and has the bad habit of being self-deprecating when he’s reminiscing and hasn’t gotten a lot of sleep,” they said apologetically.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. Nothing I’m not used to,” the young man said, widening his eyes infinitesimally when he realised what he had just said. Talyn just looked at him quizzically, but before they could ask anything, he looked back at his phone, a clear sign he didn’t want to continue the conversation. He glanced up again when Talyn picked up the tray again and started walking away. “Thanks for the tea,” he smiled at them.

“You’re welcome, kid.” They answered his smile with their own before returning to scold Remy some more.

“Before you can continue your scolding I’m gonna ask you this: where is Joan exactly? You hate being alone in the morning,” Remy hurried to ask Talyn when they returned to the counter.

They glanced back at the young man, but he seemed to be engrossed in his phone again, occasionally sipping at his tea. “Greece. But they’re on their way back. Have to make a few stops though.”

“Greece?!” Remy asked them incredulously. “But I just saw them two days ago!”

“Yeah,” Talyn said, scratching the back of their neck. “It was on very short notice, but nothing we’re not used to around here,” they said sheepishly.

Remy nodded. “Yeah, I know that. Both Emile and I and do, actually. Sometimes trauma victims-slash-survivors need someone to talk to right away, so we obviously make sure they get to the office safely, and we’ll be there as soon as we can. It’s usually mutants that need that opportunity though.” The last part was mumbled, but Talyn knew what he was talking about.

“Hello, can I get the old sassy Remy back now, please? All this solemn seriousness doesn’t really suit your personality,” Talyn said lightly, trying to get his spirits up again.

“Sorry babes forgot where I was there for a minute,” Remy snarked back at them, though it lacked the usual teasing bite. He finished his coffee and breakfast and put some money on the counter. “Well, I should probably head to the office to start on the paperwork or whatever. Later gurl.” He waved Talyn goodbye before walking out again.

“Later.” Talyn took the money, put some in the moneybox and the rest in the tip jar; Remy always left a good tip.

Soon after the young man in the corner got up and went to the counter to pay for his tea.

“You still sure you’re not hungry? I can quickly whip up something for you to go, it’s no problem, really,” Talyn tried again. They could recognise malnourishment when they saw it, and this kid was definitely malnourished. They would give it to him for free if he didn’t have the money.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Really. No need to worry,” he said, giving a tentative smile. “And keep the change.” He gave them a two-finger-salute before walking out again.

‘Odd young man,’ they thought. ‘Probably just don’t want to trouble me more than necessary since it’s so early.’

They went back to collect the teacup, milk and sugar, wipe down the table and the counter and returned to conversing with Joan over the phone in the back.

Little did they know the mysterious young man had listened carefully to their conversation and recorded the entire thing on a hidden camera.

________________________________________________________________

In the meantime, Logan and Roman had driven in comfortable silence, only broken by Roman chewing, and was almost at the precinct.

It was almost 8 am at the time they drove into the precinct’s parking lot.

“Tell me again Specs, why we have to be here this early?” Roman complained. He was NOT in a good mood after only four hours of sleep. Roman hated stakeouts. They meant that he wouldn’t be able to get his Beauty Sleep the following week.

“Because,” Logan sighed, sounding a bit annoyed. “we have to talk to Captain Holt about your brother’s reward request. His tip paid off better than expected. I also wasn’t able to finish all the paperwork for processing the suspects.” Logan glanced at Roman, getting an unimpressed look. “We also have to prepare for when the new detectives arrive later in the day.”

“Ah, so it was your idea to meet at the precinct this early? That’s a surprise,” Roman said flatly.

Logan sighed. “Look, I know you want to just stay in and sleep, but this needs to be done. Captain Holt agreed to let us have the day off tomorrow since we’ve been working overtime for days now.”

Roman gasped. “Holt is willingly giving us a day off?! Without hours of begging and annoying him?!” Roman was ecstatic, to say the least. Logan rolled his eyes and sat down. They had reached their desks.

“That is because he knows I get the job done and never ask for anything like this unless it’s warranted. Now, we need to finish the paperwork before we can discuss your brother’s reward.” Roman got a sad look on his face at the mention of his brother. Even though they were so different from each other, Roman still loved him more than anything. The thought of his powers driving him insane hurt Roman to his core.

“Yeah. How long do you think the paperwork will take? I’d like to notify Emile myself of when we’re coming.” Roman sent a pleading look Logan’s way. And Logan caved. He had a soft spot for his partner, so if this had been anyone else, he would’ve said no and done it himself, like he originally planned. But this was Roman. Logan’s young partner who was spontaneous but determined and an excellent detective.

“We are not missing a lot. If we work at our optimal, in your case listening to lyricless music, we should be done within the hour. Then we need to discuss his reward with Captain Holt, which I estimate will take approximately twenty minutes, and transportation will be another twenty minutes... Meaning we should be there in about an hour and a half,” Logan sighed at Roman’s lost expression. “That leaves us just enough time to prepare for the new detectives as well.”

“Well, why didn’t you just say that? Come on, let’s get working! Well, you get working, I’m gonna call Emile real quick.” And out the back Roman went at the speed of light. Well, one would think that; he was just really excited and in great shape.

Logan shook his head, fondly. Roman only really had time to visit his brother when they were working cases where they got his help. Logan clocked them in for the day and began the paperwork and processing of witness statements and the criminals.

After about ten minutes, Romans plopped down in his chair opposite to Logan’s. Roman gave a content sigh. “You got to talk to him, I take it?” Logan inquired.

“Yeah, she is looking forward to our visit.” Roman was acting more subdued than usual, after talking to his sister, Logan noticed.

“She. Oh. Depressive episode?” Roman nodded. You could always tell what pronouns to use with Roman’s sister according to her mood. Though, she rarely had a depressive episode anymore. Still, Roman always enjoyed talking and spending time with her, no matter what.

“Let’s just get this done so we can get moving,” Roman evaded and dove into the paperwork. Logan frowned but refrained from commenting. Roman usually thought it too boing and complained a bit before he really got into it. They both worked in appreciative silence for the next forty minutes.

Logan sighed. “That’s the last of it from my part. How is it looking with you?”

“Almost done, Lo,” Roman said as he flipped a page in his small pile of papers and continued writing on the computer. “You go ahead into Holt’s office, I’ll be there in a minute or five.” Logan nodded and cleaned his desk (even though he didn’t need to; it was always neat and clean) before heading to Captain Holt’s office door and knocking.

“Detective Abbott, come in,” Cpt. Holt called. And he did. “Why isn’t Dec. Moore with you?” he asked, looking behind Logan.

“He wasn’t quite finished with his paperwork and told me to go ahead. He does not wish to prolong getting to see his sister again.” Holt looked at Logan sympathetically before nodding.

“I see. Well, what has she asked for in return for her help this time?” Holt inquired.

“As always, to go home. She knows as well as us that she is unable to, so she continued with saying it is because she’d love to visit the park she and Roman used to play in when they were younger, again. Is that one a possibility?” It wasn’t one of the bigger requests she’d come with, so Logan hoped it was something they could grant her.

“We need to set up a perimeter, make sure no one enters the park as well as have eyes on her all the time, but other than that, I think it’s doable. We’ve organised bigger operations than this,” Holt agreed.

Just in that second, Roman walked in, as Logan hadn’t closed the door. “Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” Roman exclaimed, although, it was much more subdued than usual.

“Not so fast, Dec. Moore,” Holt interrupted. “We cannot do that today. The new detectives are arriving in less than two hours, and I want to give them a good first impression. I’ve only heard impressive things about them from my old friend, Cpt. Garcia.”

“I don’t think she’ll want to go outside for a while anyway, so that’s okay, Captain.” Roman turned from the door. “I’d just like to tell her in person, if that’s alright, Sir?” Oh, Roman was looking at their Captain with such a pitiful look in his eyes that even Holt’s sturdy and tough façade crumbled.

Holt sighed. “Of course, Dec. Moore. Just be back thirty minutes before. Not twenty-nine. Thirty. Do greet her from me.”

“Thank you so much, Sir!” Roman exclaimed and basically ran out the door to the parking lot. Logan sighed at his partner’s antics. He looked back at Cpt. Holt, who only nodded to him.

“I’ll make sure we’re back forty-five minutes before, Sir,” he said before he, as well, disappeared out the door to his car.

Due to Roman being filled with energy at getting to see his sister again, Logan drove just a bit faster than strictly necessary which in turn made them be there in six minutes instead of the usual ten. As soon as Logan had parked the car Roman was out. Logan couldn’t really blame him. It had been months since they last saw each other. Visits of any kind weren’t allowed unless it was for a case, which Logan found revolting. Just because she was… that still didn’t make it fair! In fact, it made it less fair than if she had just been a mentally ill supercriminal, like Ami Amore (except she wasn’t mentally ill, she was just a supercriminal mastermind)! And even those were allowed to get visitors!

The dumpster near him started to shake a bit. Logan took a few calming breaths. Now’s not the time to let my emotions take control, he thought to himself. Roman needed him.

Logan walked calmly (though that was only his exterior) into the facility. He found Roman by the reception, waiting for him. “What took you so long, Logan??” Roman asked while dramatically bringing the back of his hand to his forehead.

“Dec. Abbott. Nice to see you two again. Solved the case, did ya?” the receptionist, the young Mx Thomsen, said. They gave Logan and Roman their visitor’s pass so they could move around in the facility without any problems.

“We did, yes. We’re here to inform Remus that her request has been granted. Though, we’ll not be able to acquiesce today, as two new detectives will be joining the precinct today and we have to prepare for them. And it is nice to see you too, Mx Thomsen,” Logan added after a look from Roman.

They giggled. They always did when Logan was being guided by Roman in social behaviour. “Right this way, guys. She’s in the garden right now. Dr Picani discovered that’s the most effective way to bring her out of the depression. They’ve still yet to discover a way to bring her down from her mania. But stuff like this takes time. I really wish you guys were allowed to visit her outside of work. She misses you especially, Roman.” Mx Thomsen kept talking all the way to the garden. Logan was really glad they did. Something to keep Roman busy. Those two really got along well with each other.

“Well, if it isn’t my favourite twin brother,” a tired feminine voice said. “Have you come to free me?”

“Not today, sister dear. I’m afraid we have to prepare for some new troops coming today. And you don’t really seem up to it, either. But, once you feel better, and the new detectives have settled, we’ll make sure we get to visit the park. Okay?” Roman was the one addressed, so he was the one speak. They learned the hard way not to talk to her unless you were addressed (or if you were Dr Picani) when she had a depressive episode.

“Puh-he. Well, at least I can still be in these gardens. Hey, wanna hear a secret, Ro?” Remus said, leaning a bit closer to him.

“Always!” Roman said, leaning closer as well so Remus could whisper in his ear. It made him nostalgic for when they were kids and would share secrets with each other all the time.

“They are very bad at keeping the garden, so it’s chaos. Just like I like it!” Remus stage-whispered. She giggled at her own words, though it lacked the usual enthusiasm. Roman chuckled with her.

“Yes, I can see that. They are a bit lazy here, aren't they?” Roman winked. Remus was always his centre of attention when they were visiting her. Logan went to speak with the doctors, leaving the two siblings to enjoy each others company. They had approximately twenty minutes before they had to leave again.

“Dr Picani. Pleasure as always,” he greeted the person in front of him. They lit up when they saw who was speaking to them. They’d been looking in some files and hadn’t discovered the detectives had arrived.

“Dec. Abbott! Pleasure’s all mine! So, are you here to sign the papers of letting Remus visit the park?” they asked

“Sadly, no. Not yet, anyway. Two new detectives are arriving today and, we have to get them settled in the routine. But once they are, and Remus feels better, we will take her there. And thank you,” Logan added after a moment of hesitation. Picani tilted their head.

“Thank me? Whatever for? Taking care of and helping Remus is my job and my pleasure.” To say they were confused by Logan’s gratitude was an understatement. Logan, however, shook his head.

“Though I am also grateful for that, I meant about what you and Remy do on the side. You make a huge difference for a lot of people; old as young. You helped me,” Logan said, looking Picani sincerely in the eye. He usually never was one to admit he needed help or that he had help, but he wouldn’t deny that fact to someone who helped him in the past.

“Aw shucks, Logan. I don’t know what to say,” they blushed a tiny bit, because they knew how hard of a subject it was to Logan to discuss and he had a hard time admitting when he admired people. Like he admired what the two therapists were doing. They suddenly thought of something. “Did you tell them yet? Your colleagues?”

Logan sighed. “Other than Roman, no. Not even Cpt. Holt. I would rather they didn’t know just yet. I know Florida is accepting, but they took a while to pass that law. Other states passed it many years ago, yet we’ve only taken the initiative to pass it two years ago. I still fear the public would want me burned in the media fire if they knew.”

Picani smiled at him sympathetically. “I know. But they are your coworkers; your friends. They’ll understand it if you don’t want anyone other than them to know. But the decision is yours, and I respect it. And I understand it.”

They continued to talk about Remus and her improvements over the past year when they were interrupted by Roman’s startled exclamation. “Remus, what are you doing?!” They looked over and saw that Remus had a tight hold of Roman’s wrist. The bruising kind of grip. They ran over, but Logan arrived first. And was shocked.

Remus’ eyes were black. There were no traces of her otherwise green eyes or white. They were all black. And then Remus spoke. Her voice was unrecognisable.

   The Moon shines bright, but if you do nothing, it will go dark!  

A prediction. They’d never seen it up close, but both Logan and Roman were sure it was a prediction that involved them, however absurd it was fraised.

Then she let go of Roman’s arm, and her eyes went back to normal. “Whoo, what a rush, huh?”

Roman just stared at his sister, trying to make sense of what had just happened. He hadn’t really processed the words. Luckily, Logan was fast to grab a notebook and a pencil and write it down.

“I think it’s time you get some rest, Remus, don’t you?” Dr Picani stepped in, voice kind and approached her was a non-threatening stance. She was always volatile after a prediction, and who knew what a prediction during a depressive episode would do to her.

“Yeah, I think so too, Doc. Nice seeing ya, Roman. And heed the words,” she sing-sang before she skidded off after Dc Picani.

Logan and Roman drove back to the precinct in silence, both trying to understand what that absurd prediction could mean.

Then entered the precinct and found it a complete mess. Holt was in his office, looking like he’d been trying, and failing, to get the detectives under control for a long time. Not even Logan’s death stare seemed to work right now. And that’s how they spent the next forty minutes trying to get the detectives under control.

The front doors to the precinct opened, but no one seemed to notice. Logan was sitting at his desk, looking done with everything while Roman chased Dec. Peralta around the precinct. It was chaos. Some might confuse the precinct with a kindergarten run by a single adult.

Things were starting to calm a tiny bit down as the cold air from outside began to be noticed. Logan looked up from his desk and looked at the two newcomers. They didn’t seem to be particularly impressed. Logan couldn’t really blame him. He wondered who they were and what their business at the precinct was since they didn’t immediately go for one of the free detectives, Logan.

Suddenly, Holt exited his office and called out to the entire precinct, “EVERYONE!!” and got most of the precinct’s attention. Some froze when they spotted the two standing looking at them with an unreadable expression in their eyes. Logan was starting to get a sinking feeling about who they were and wished he could just sink into the floor and out of this childish picture. “Meet the new detectives!”

[lavander-galaxy]

Sanders Sides Analysis: Logos, Pathos, and Ethos

A few days ago in my English class, we reviewed ethos, pathos, and logos. It sparked my interest because I knew that Logan’s name was based off of logos and Patton’s off of pathos. I have seen plenty of theories about these tools of persuasion, so I decided to analyze the sides through each of these concepts. 

Enjoy!

LOGOS

Logos is an appeal to logic and reason, it is also a Greek word that means ‘a word’ or ‘reasoning’.This tool of persuasion is used to “prove” an argument through logical and sound reasoning. Now of course this sounds pretty accurate for our nerd, but I couldn’t help but realize who else this connected to. Deceit. Throughput the entirety of SvS Dee used LOGIC in order to show Thomas his point and make the other sides listen to him. Heck he even showed up as Logan in the beginning. But why would Deceit shut Logan out of the conversation if they are so similar? Well, Logan wasn’t completely shut out since Dee did use Logan to answer some questions in the episode, and he had some outbursts at some point. However, It does make some sense why Deceit wouldn’t want Logan to have an input based on later parts of the episode. For example: At the very end Logan interrupts Dee as he is trying to prove his point to the others. He says “leave the teaching to me”. Logan is the true source of logic in the group, that is what he represents. Maybe Logan feels competition between him and Dee because they both use logos to prove their arguments and explain their reasoning.

PATHOS

Pathos is an appeal to the emotions, so it makes sense that Patton is the main man representing this. Pathos is also a Greek word that means ‘experience’ or ‘suffering’. Wait.. suffering?? It is important to note that even though Patton is a bubbly character he still encompasses sad emotions. Something I found interesting about Pathos is that a way to use it is by appealing to an audiences hopes and dreams, playing on their fears and worries, or appealing to their particular beliefs or ideals. But, that’s not all only Patton. ‘Hopes and dreams’ I don’t know about you, but that sounds like Roman to me. ‘Playing on their fears and worries’ and that right their sounds like Virgil. How could all of these characters be connected? Well, A part of the series that I have noticed is how the three of them always seem to understand each other better. On the other hand, Logan is left misunderstood, not listened too, and disregarded because the other three don’t understand his way of reasoning. We really saw the clash in WDWGOOBITM. Logan and Roman kept going back and forth about who was right and wrong, but they didn’t even understand what either of them was trying to argue the while time. Not until the end when Thomas brought up their points again, and pointed out that they actually make a good team at least. In fact a way to show pathos while persuading someone is by using descriptive language and imagery which evokes emotion. Sounds pretty familiar right? That is exactly how Roman chose to explain his point of view during that whole episode. Another way to use pathos in an argument is by identifying values or emotions which relate particularly to your audience, and play to them. This was Patton’s plan during SvS. Remember how he got info out of Virgil while he was on the stand? He played to the fact that he knew how much losing a friend would hurt Virgil, so that’s how he approached his case with him. He attempted to do the same with Logan, but since they are so opposite when it comes to the tools of persuasion, it was a flop. He didn’t know what to ask, or how to get more information that he needs out of Logan. Partially was probably because he knew that Thomas didn’t actually want to go to the callback, but I can’t help but think that it is also because Patton doesn’t understand how Logan works. This also makes sense on why Logan refuses to believe he has emotions. Not only is he the furthest away from using pathos ever, but he doesn’t understand  the reason behind it. Why does he need emotions, when he can get his point across clearly with facts? Another part of pathos that I noticed is how it is connected to guilt. Pay attention to both of these examples of pathos that I found:1- If you don’t buy this life insurance you are letting your family down. 2- If you don’t go on this holiday you will regret it. You don’t want to live with regrets, do you? Wow. very guilt-trippy I know. This brings light to a quote by Roman after Patton scolds him for siding with Dee in SvS, “Yeesh, I would’ve stayed in my room if I knew dad was gonna take us on a guilt trip.” (This also just strengthens my argument that the next side is gonna be guilt but that is besides the point).It now makes sense why Patton has been using guilt as a way to persuade lately. That is what he knows, that is how he knows he is able to get the others to agree with him. Besides, if your audience is more emotionally invested and engaged with your case or argument, they are more likely to be persuaded. Right?

ETHOS

Finally ethos is up. This is the tool of persuasion that I have seen most people put Dee with. However, I think I am going to have to disagree. Ethos is an appeal to authority and credibility and it is a Greek word meaning ‘character’. One thing we know of Dee so far is that right now he is not trusted to be credible. Also every side literally takes whatever he says as a lie or not the complete truth. The main goal of using the ethos form of persuasion is to convince your audience to do what you believe is right or just to convince them of your point is by using your character or credibility. That is not deceit’s angle throughout svs at. all. The only time in that episode that used ethos is in the beginning of the episode when Patton tried to convince Thomas that he needs to skip the callback because of his morality. Patton says “what is this wacky talk? You don’t mean any of this. I’m your morality. I wouldn’t be here if you did.” And to that Deceit responds with the same exact reasoning. “You know who else is here? me. so maybe Thomas isn’t so innocent.” Ironically enough, ethos is used more against deceit than in deceit’s favor. Take Virgil for example, he has pointed out how deceit is a liar and how no one should ever trust his too many times to count. Whenever Dee is starting to make a valid point it is always shot down by his own character and credibility at the hands of the lights. Rather that his own credibility, Dee’s preferred tactic is fact and truth. (which is ironic since he is deceit). Sounds like logos right? That’s cause it is. He using the same tactics as Logan does, which explains why they butt heads so much. Deceit is there to show Thomas the truth. He hates it when Thomas lies to himself and covers up what he truly believes is true. Which is exactly the point of svs. As Dee says in the video, “What am I doing here, Thomas? Am I the snake come to trick you into sinning or have you had your mind made up since the moment you received the news about the callback?” Deceit’s arguments all focus on fact, truth, and the ABSENCE of lies. In fact whenever a side lies during this episode Deceit immediately calls them out. (I would list them but that’s for a different post) The curious case of Dee’s questions throughout that video also leave many questions. My favorite of his questions is that whenever Deceit was questioning the other sides he began with asking them what their functions were as a part of Thomas. It’s almost like he was setting Patton up to ask him the same question. Maybe then his side of the story would have made a little more sense. But alas! I guess we will just have to wait a little longer to fully understand Dee as a character. However, we did get an insight on his motives of the video. And he was doing it all to protect Thomas. Funny right? It’s almost like that was Virgil’s motive as well when he was an outcast. But, that is a completely different topic so I will leave you guys, gals, and non-binary pals with this.

Deceit obviously isn’t as cut and dry as the rest of the sides. I don’t think we can perfectly put him in a box in order to try and predict his name or his motives just yet. It is the same as the case with Virgil. The others are different. And I can’t wait to see how they flourish within the series. 

 So basically what I am trying to say is, based on what we have seen Deceit’s arguments are based more on fact that character and credibility. This leads me to believe his character, argumentative style, and name, are not based on ethos. His character seems like it is leaning more towards logos actually. 

Thanks for reading all of this! I hope that the people who decided to read this ridiculously long post (and who patiently waited for me to get off my butt and finish it) enjoyed what i had to say. If i missed anything, or you want to bring up your own p.o.v to what I offered feel free to! <333

[cinemavariety]

Cinema Variety’s Favorite Horror Films of 2017

2017 marks the fifth consecutive year of me compiling year-end lists of the best horror films. It also marks the most difficult year in my rankings. In fact, I almost didn’t even make a list this year considering how lacking the horror genre was for me. There were some decent efforts, but I do believe that the horror genre is impressing me less and less as the years go by. That being said, most of the best quality horror films were ones produced and distributed by independent production companies. It comes as no surprise that Hollywood has really been missing the mark when it comes to creating a truly effective scare experience.

Alas, we have reached the end of another year. Another year of absolute madness when it comes to the real world. These next seven films proved to me that horror films, even the most unconventional of ones, still can have a big impact in the film industry. Check out my lists from previous years by clicking on the links Below. Favorite Horror Films of 2016 Favorite Horror Films of 2015 Favorite Horror Films of 2014 Favorite Horror Films of 2013

#7 - Life Directed by Daniel Espinosa

I believe the tagline of the original Alien film was: “In space, no one can hear you scream.” This exact tagline would be incredibly fitting for 2017’s best space-suspense film. Other than the impressive cast, I have to say that I was not looking forward to this film based on the trailers alone. To me, it looked exhaustingly formulaic and over-done. But after reading some really positive reviews for the film, I decided to give Life the benefit of a doubt. What ensued was a real exercise in panic and anxiety. As beautiful and mind-blowingly enormous as space is, I cannot help but imagine how terrifying it would be to be stuck up there in a claustrophobic ship. As the crew members in the film discover a lifeform of unknown origin, all hell eventually breaks loose as the organism grows and becomes more dangerous. This soon becomes a cat-and-mouse hunt for survival which kept me on the edge of my seat throughout the duration of the film. I was also pleasantly surprised by the deliciously bleak ending.

#6 - The Void Directed by Jeremy Gillespie & Steven Kostanki

I have nothing but the utmost of respect for films that utilize practical effects in this day and age of horror films which usually rely on CGI-gore and predictable jump scares. The Void takes full advantage of its low budget and creates a genuine nightmare world with some truly impressive sets and practical creature effects. The Void is a throwback to the era of 70s and 80s horror flicks. For all its absurdity and nonsensical plot, what The Void lacks in a strong narrative is made up for with nauseating details of a hell brought onto the physical plane of Earth. Parts reminded me of The Thing, while other parts reminded me of Hellraiser – all the while staying original and having its own voice. We need more creative outings in the horror genre such as this one.

#5 - IT Directed by Andrés Muschietti

To say that my expectations for IT were high would be an understatement. It was most definitely my most eagerly anticipated horror film of 2017. In fact, the trailers are some of the best ones I can remember for a modern horror film. I was letdown when I found out a couple years back that one of my favorite directors, Cary Fukunaga, dropped out of the project. Nonetheless, I stayed positive and hoped that whoever took the helms would still create a genuinely terrifying horror film. Well, as usual, my expectations got the best of me with this one. It didn’t have me shaking in my boots like the previews had promised. But it did provide an entertaining experience, especially with the chemistry of all the actors and their interactions with Pennywise. The production value was amazing. I gushed over all of the dutch camera angles that were executed with strong precision. Bill Skarsgard did a fine job of encapsulating the evil that is Pennywise and tormenting all the children with their worst fears. My main qualms with the film was that it was more fun than scary, and that jump scares were a little too overdone. I was hoping for a much darker tone, and I hope that is what is achieved with part two.

#4 - It Comes at Night Directed by Trey Edward Shults

Trey Edward Shults emerged onto the indie film scene with his harrowing family drama Krisha (a film which has held up even better upon a couple rewatches). So it comes as no surprise that I was excited when I discovered that his next project would venture into horror territory. It ended up being a psychological paranoia thriller with elements of horror sprinkled throughout. However there is no denying that the events that transpire in this film are about as horrific as they can get. Many of my favorite films are polarizing ones. In these cases, usually critics rave about it while the average movie-goer dismisses it as a waste of time. This was the response for It Comes at Night, and I take the side of the film critics with this one. The biggest complaint I read online was “nothing even comes at night”. I cannot help but think that people really cannot read between the lines with films, even when it comes to something as simple as the title. I can tell you what comes at night in this film: fear of the unknown, dread, disease, and mistrust of others. Shults plays with the audiences heads in this film as to what is real and what is not real. His use of lighting and camera movement immerse the audience into a story that is minimalist in nature, but also has so many subtle details throughout. The finale of the film left a pit of dread in my stomach which didn’t quickly go away.

#3 - The Untamed Directed by Amat Escalante

Leave it to a foreign director to concoct one of the most impressive films of the year. Mexican cinema is amazing – the country is no stranger to releasing scary movies that hit deep (i.e.: Cronos, Pans Labrynth, Here Comes the Devil, Santa Sangre). The way the story is told in The Untamed is genius. We are presented with mysterious situations and multiple characters at once which we as an audience must piece together and see how everyone and everything connects. The center of the story revolves around a tentacled creature which, in my eyes, is symbolic of pure lust. Each person who visits this creature, which resides in a secluded cabin, becomes addicted to the way it makes them feel. Characters who were once lost and unsatisfied feel like they have clarity of mind and a new purpose in their life based solely on their interactions with the creature. These newfound feelings quickly turn into something dangerous as the movie veers into unexpected territories. The Untamed did a great job at having me writhe in discomfort, all the while never becoming too graphic or exploitative. It doesn’t show too much to ruin the aura of mystery. Yet it also shows just enough to have me never looking at a tentacled-animal the same way ever again.

#2 - Gerald’s Game Directed by Mike Flanagan

Once again, a Mike Flanagan picture makes one of my year-end horror lists. The man is endlessly consistent on his filmmaking abilities. I wouldn’t say any of his works are horror masterpieces, but each one that I have seen has left an impact on me. Even his more mediocre work is better than the array of Hollywood-produced horror films. Gerald’s Game marks the second horror film on this list based off a Stephen King story. Many of the same themes that Flanagan has developed upon over the course of his career shine through in Gerald’s Game. Including but not limited to: unchecked childhood trauma, abusive parents, loss of innocence, inner demons, real demons, etc. etc. Once deemed un-filmable, Gerald’s Game is an extraordinarily creative film. All set in one room, the movie never becomes trite. It utilizes its stagnant location and turns into something that I could even see as a stage play. A wife’s worst nightmares come alive in Gerald’s Game after the main character’s husband dies after handcuffing her to a bed. To make matters worse, there is a bloodthirsty feral dog who eats her husband and a deformed man who visits her in the night. This results in one of the most hair-raising movie moments that I have ever witnessed. In one scene, the outline of this boogeyman is just barely visible in the corner of the room. Even I had to do a double-take to make sure what I was seeing was actually there. Was he real? Or was he just another figment of the main character’s unraveling mind? Flanagan lets this scene play out in complete silence. There is no jarring music or sound effects to be heard. This makes the scene all the more harrowing because Flanagan lets the fear build up naturally. He is not telling you when and how to be afraid. Oh and can we talk about that hand scene? That is not something I will forget.

#1 - Kuso Directed by Flying Lotus

I find it difficult to put my feelings into words when it comes to Kuso. I am surprised that this film even exists, but boy do I feel lucky that it does. Kuso is not a film that can be lumped into just one genre. But if I were going to categorize it into one, I think it is safe to say that it is a body-horror film to the highest degree. I respect the film so much just for the fact that this is art that not many people have ever, or will ever, see on a screen ever again. This work to me is daring, feverishly artistic, and completely out-of-this-world insane. In fact, I couldn’t believe my eyes at what I was seeing in certain scenes. It crosses the line countless times and revels in all its griminess. Make sure to watch the film on an empty stomach – you will thank me for this later. My friend and I agreed that the best way to describe this film to someone is as follows: “vignettes of absolute awfulness.” I say this with the utmost fondness. Kuso is the midnight movie I’ve been waiting for all of my life. To me, Flying Lotus is like Jodorowsky for the 21st century - polarizing, revolting, and exhaustingly stylized in the best of ways.

[korkrunchcereal]

War Council

Three days had passed. Three desperate, blood filled days had gone by, with each rise of the sun greeted by the crimson dawn of slaughter. Smoke and ash had filled the air, carried by the uncaring wind. The rain that had assaulted much of the Gilded Lands had begun to die down, letting the flames of destruction burn brightly amidst the peaceful backdrop of the elven landscape. 

For three restless days Valagor and his house had countered the trolls, fighting their warbands as they traveled and raided across the Ebonwood. While had tasked his forces with avoiding the bulk of the trollish horde, the outskirts as well as raiding parties were ordered to be hunted down with extreme force. The grisly aftermath spoke of carnage and hatred in equal measure, for the soldiers of House Wyrmstorm had fought against their trollish neighbors for generations and neither looked kindly upon the other. 

Valagor himself was within Thornbane Hold, organizing the defenses with his various lieutenants and lords that had pledged themselves to him. Dressed in a regal tunic of forest green with hair white as snow, he certainly matched the part of a grizzled lord of the woodland realms. The trappings of civility had been replaced with maps and scrolls and all manner of instruments for which to wage war. Even now he stood before a map of the Ebonwood; all of its towns, villages and keeps had their own model to represent them, along with both elven and trollish forces.

To his grim displeasure, he was woefully outnumbered. His minute handful of elven pieces were all but swarmed by the trolls. Everywhere he gazed there was ruin and devastation. Most of the defenses had fallen in the opening days, for their defenses had long been neglected. Valagor had neither the manpower nor funds to have kept both forts and the twin gates heavily manned or fortified, and so their skeleton garrison were slaughtered. 

It was not just brute strength along that the trolls possessed. Wild tales from survivors had come forth as they shambled and fled to the only place of sanctuary in the Ebonwood; Thornbane Hold. They spoke of trolls who crept as if spiders in the dead of night, their subtlety surpassing even that of the elves. Word of phantasmal creatures that marched alongside white eyed zealots and monstrous dire creatures were plentiful and told through half maddened lips. It was however their leader that truly concerned Valagor. He rose a gnarled finger to his chin, tapping along it as he stared upon the map. A crude figure had been carved to represent the warlord of this invasion, whose name was so reviled that even mentioning it made Valagor curse the very winds which carried his words. Taka had come with an army, and his savage cunning was proving difficult to understand. 

While his horde had indeed burned and razed various elven settlements to the ground, they did not do so with wild abandon. This was not a crazed assault of brutish savages and wild beasts. The devious nature of Valagor's foe had instead picked his targets carefully, and the army he lead he wielded with an iron fist. They marched where he called them to, fought what he asked and spared that which he desired.

That was the strangest thing; there was no normal predictable unpredictability. That is to say, the trolls did not lash out at everything and everyone in an orgy of violence and hatred. They had set up their largest war parties along the roads, keeping anyone from entering or, more importantly, leaving. He had surmised by now that his neighbors of Blackfyre had either seen the destruction and did nothing, or they were being harassed by the trolls as well. He knew not, for he could only recognize he was being entrapped. Indeed, Valagor felt as if he was in a guillotine, and the axe was nearing its descent.

"My lord Wyrmstorm." His steward had called out, breaking him from his morose mood. His advisers continued to yap in his ear, though he raised a hand to silence them.

"Yes Kalfax?"

"Calarius Ferensus has arrived, my lord. He bears an urgent message for you." Valagor's eye widened, the elf nodding.

"Send him in then. Immediately."

"Of course, my lord." The steward turned, clapping his hands together at the guards. Immediately they swung open the massive and ornate doors slowly, a singular figure walking forward.

"My Lord Wyrmstorm, forgive my interruption. I did not wish to teleport into the middle of your war council, though I bring news." Calarius' words echoed in the large hall, announcing his presence to all assembled.

"Speak your news. What has Lord Indaris said?"

"My lordship immediately set out gathering his forces once he heard of the invasion here. He had bid me to travel to his vassals lands, to order them for war." A toothy grin broke Valagor's grim features, the corner of his lips pulling upward.

"Good! That's the first bit of good news we've heard in what feels like an eternity. When will they be here?"

"Four days time, for they ride hard from the Crescent Hills, and yet must still move upon the speed of their supply wagons."

"We can't afford four days, Calarius. The trolls have already moved upon most of my lands, save to the west and northwest upon Eyvor's borders. My rangers and knights do their best, but they can only poke the beast; they cannot kill it."

"Alas my lord, 'tis the fault of beasts of burden we do not arrive sooner. Marching any force is yet a slow and ponderous process of aching limbs and straining animals." Valagor let out a curse, brow furrowing as his grin turned quickly to a frown.

"What of Silvermoon then? Have they given word? My messenger I sent by foot should reach the city in another day or two, yet you traveled there yes?"

"Indeed, your lordship. My petition for aid regrettably fell upon deaf ears, for their own gaze turns to the broken isles. However, they have agreed to send a small force; they...respect the independent nature of the Gilded Houses, and honor their desires."

"To hell with their independence. They sit fat and comfortable far from the borders while we face monsters; no, I care not for their desires. I care about my people, and right now they're dying out there. Silvermoon will arrive too late to do anything but die, unless we break the trolls before their arrival."

"Agreed on the latter point, my lord. We cannot rely upon Silvermoon, and thus you must wait for Lord Indaris' arrival. He may be reinforced by Lord Eyvor on the march, for he must move through his lands."

"With any luck Bal-Varos will be able to send troops, though if my own borders have been ravaged i'm sure his would be too."

"Have you not sent for aid to there or to the lands of Blackfyre?" Valagor's advisors remained quiet, shifting at the notion.

" The trolls have been, we believe, slaughtering our messengers along the roads. The travel is too dangerous alone. As for Blackfyre..." he paused, a mixture of disgust and annoyance filling his features. "They would not come to our aid. If they did, the warnings my runner would have given should have reached them. If they did, I would see their black and crimson banners to the north. No, Blackfyre will not come."

"I see, my lord.So, you are without allies or holdings except this fortress until Lord Indaris' arrival?"

"As it stands for now...yes."

"And where is the bulk of the troll army?"

"Here." Valagor pointed to the open plains where the tipped figure of Borderwatch was. "To the southeast the bulk of the horde dwells. It's as if they wait for something; tendrils strike at my people, but they are waiting for something. Reinforcements perhaps?"

"Or for you to leave your hold. They may not be able to breach the walls." "Yet I cannot simply wait around. No, when Lord Indaris arrives we must take the fight to them. If we slay their leader, the trolls will scatter and flee." Calarius nodded, eyes curiously glancing over the map. 

"And where would you fight them? To the west upon the border?" Calarius tapped a finger to the patch of land west of Thornbane, upon the road leading to Eyvor's lands.

"I have considered it, but that would leave Thornbane exposed. He would simply march through the hold and burn it to the ground. Nay, here is where I would face them." Valagor's finger traced along the map south of Thornbane. "It's flat, open tracks of land that allow us complete vision of our foes, and we have the peaks to our flank."

"I see, but could they not simply circle around via the southern passes?"

"It is a risk, but I have my scouts ensuring no one marches through there. If the bulk of the army stays where they are, then it'll allow Lord Indaris and his forces a chance to reach us."

"I defer to your wisdom my lord, yet how will you get the trolls to do open battle? Especially against the combined might of the houses?"

"Taka, or whomever leads, cannot keep his army together without fighting. If he waits too long, they'll break off and force his army to splinter apart. While it would make it easier to deal with Taka, we would be cleaning up the various warbands for months if not years, if we ever do before they burn down all of the Ebonwood. So we offer him a challenge; the head of Lord Wyrmstorm." A series of gasps filled the room from those in attendance, and at once all of his advisers spoke.

"But sire-"

"Surely you cannot-"

"You can’t march o-"

"Silence!" Valagor shouted. "I will not sit behind my walls and let this filth ravage my home. I will march upon the battlefield and I will drive my sword into the heart of their warlord. If they know the Lord of Wyrmstorm is beyond the safety of his hold and upon the open fields, they will attack. They must attack, or the troll warlord loses his standing. My rangers will continue to harass and probe, and slow the horde if it decides to move."

"Very well, lord Wyrmstorm. I will inform Lord Caledon of your decision. In four days time you will see the fluttering banners of violet move upon the wind when the golden host arrives. Look upon the western road for their arrival. I will, undoubtedly, be serving as liaison and will be at your side for when they are near. My arrival will signal the beginning of the end for our foes."

"Good; we may have a chance in this yet. In four days time we either rout the trolls, or the lands of Wyrmstorm will be doomed."

"I pray my lord that such will never occur."

[eatghostjerky]

My Truest Friend

As I wait for my turn on the block, it may yet be expected that I make any last confessions of my slight errors. Though I am being executed by my legal name, Anna Maria Zwanzgier, I feel closer to that of Nanette Schonleben. Perhaps you think, due to my confession to the judges, that I felt remorse for what happened to Glaser, Grohmann, or the two Gebhards. Let me say that I did not feel remorse; it was easy to take care of them like I was want to do. They needed me, much like many souls need me. I had already tried to kill myself twice before; what more did I need but a little push to test how Glaser and my only trusted friend faired together? My truest friend, it never failed me. It always did exactly what I needed it to do.

It was the way in which I reconciled the two Glasers, both Judge Glaser and Frau Glaser, and yet he was not want to give me gratitude. I desired his good favor, a small fortune would have been acceptable, but truly it was his favor I was after, and yet I was treated with nothing in return. Frau had yet nothing to say of it either. They knew it was at my urging that they had been reunited. Was it my fault that she was not used to my special soup? It was my treat, my specialty. After all, Judge Glaser and I both had servings of it, and we were in good health. And oh, how they had bragged of Frau’s good health, how strong of a woman she was, so worthy to be a wife. Well, I saw differently of that, didn’t I?

It filled me with a pleasant warmness to see Frau vomit and stuck to the pot, much like that of eating a warm soup on a cold winter night. Oh, what joy it gave me to see her helpless like that, dependent on me, how she saw that I was willing to do anything so that she may have just the tiniest bit of comfort. Nanette, you have such probity; you are my only ray of light in these times of ill health. And what a ray of light I was! I have that to thank my truest friend. If you looked at the powder in a certain phase of the moon, it glowed as if it were magic. And perhaps it was—it gave me the power to show them how much they needed me. Frau expired, but I didn’t force any of the soup down her throat, did I?

These slight errors of mine are perhaps what made Judge Glaser suspect something of me and send me off to Justice Grohmann, but it was not enough so that he did not give me good recommendations to the Grohmanns. Oh, how I loved Justice Grohmann—he had spells of gout, but it was through me that he was seen to be well and healthy as an oxen. What man sees that a woman nurses him to nearly perfect health, sees that this woman dotes on the man, and thus decides to marry another? I understand that some may think that I resemble that of a toad, but a good woman, a good caretaker, should be worth more than that of a fair woman. I understand that I once committed trifling offenses that would make any noble person turn their head, but my children are well. Do not speak of the last one; the one from the orphanage was not my own. Even if it came from my own womb, it was not a Zwanzgier. And is it my fault that my husband drained my entire inheritance? I did not choose him for myself, and yet I was still a good wife, despite that he was want to drink. And look how far I had come! I had done so much in the years since my husband passed. I know in my heart that I deserved everything that was promised to me at birth. I was a good woman, I am a good woman, an excellent caretaker, even if I am not a fair maiden. A woman my age cannot be considered a maiden, but she can be considered a necessity to good life. Does the world need a fool that cannot see a good woman, especially when she is responsible for his good health, to live on in this world? I did not force him or those two wenches to eat the soup. I wish those wenches had eaten more of my soup; they annoyed me so. Bless Justice Gromann’s heart that he had such faith in my abilities. Alas, he had bad bouts of gout, and my precious soup had helped aid him to good health before, had it not? I was inconsolable when he passed; how could someone as completely heartbroken as me, the poor, inconsolable Nanette, have done anything to wish ill on the health of Justice Grohmann?

It was not me who requested to serve the Gebhards; they called upon me. Lady Gebhard had heard of my probity and good services, so why would she, a lady with child, not want someone of my standard for help? She adored me, reveled in my services, and yet, of course when they child came, she suggested offhandedly that she would not need of my services anymore, feigning sadness at my predicted future dismissal. I knew that at the very least the babe would need me; she had just given birth, how could she not need the help of a caretaker like Nanette? I was nearly her midwife, for heaven’s sake! Please know that I never forced Lady Gebhard to drink my soup. She insisted that I make it. Is it my fault that it’s delicious, even with my truest friend as the last added ingredient? Not even a woman who has had child can resist my special soup.

I cared for the babe like it was my own. Judge Gebhard, the intelligent man he is, saw that I was an excellent help. He had my full confidence, and it was as it should be. At the dinner party, though I had been neglected my truest friend for some time, I gave in to my desires. I cannot tell you what joy it gives me to see people in pain, with nausea, vomiting and shiteing in the pot, how they need Nanette! Those poor souls! How I could nurse them back to health and show them how much they needed me. Special soup and special beer makes for a special party, and what better soul to help those who must be shown that they are in need than that of Nanette?

Of course, these trifling offenses were not something the houseguests surely appreciated. They saw that I was dismissed from Judge Gebhard’s service, but perhaps it was better that way. If he had his fullest confidence in me, than should I really have wasted my good services on him? On my last day in his services, I drank chocolate with Judge Gebhard upon his invitation and gave his babe a biscuit soaked in special milk. Maybe I did force that babe to eat it; the babe surely had no choice. But it was a good babe and I know in my deepest heart that it could not have survived without dear Nanette. If Judge Gebhard did not have the wits about him to see that I trusted arsenic more than I trusted any human, despite all of the warnings his friends and guests had given him, then perhaps he did not deserve to have the babe in his care.

And so the police did then find arsenic in my pockets. I was not want to not carry a little powder on me. It kept me calm. They found it in Judge Gebhard’s salt and in the exhumed bodies of Grohmann and Frau. Arsenic, my truest friend, what could be more rich in nature than this little powder that I could always rely on? I knew exactly how much to give each of them to create the desired effect, and not once did my truest friend prove otherwise. Yes, I killed them all and would have killed more if I had the chance. As I am on the block, I think it well that I am to be beheaded. It is perhaps better for the community that I should die, as it would be impossible for me to give up the practice of poisoning people.

-BHT

[makeitnotbetrue]

mourning becomes america or how i stopped worrying and learned to love the apocalypse?

happy fucking new year!

hey! is everyone still crying? it’s been almost two months now since the election. i meant to get this post up before the election, but you know how it is. life came along and altered my plans. funny how that happens all the time...

have you survived the most divisive election in american history? after that shit show, america needs a vacation! or serious psycho therapy. i’m exhausted, are you?

since chump [or rump if you prefer] was elected, i’m asked the same questions; “how did this happen?”, “what’s wrong with people?”, “do you believe he was actually elected?”, “is he going to get us into a war?”, “will the world end?”. answers: people are stupid, people are really ignorant, yes, yes and no!

before we continue, let’s get something straight. stupidity and ignorance are two different things. stupidity, your brain doesn’t work. for whatever reason, it’s not functioning properly. you’re not developmentally challenged, no one hit you on the head and damaged your brain. you just don’t know how to use your brain for making rational thoughts or decisions.

ignorance, on the other hand [and notice the root word], you choose to ignore the facts. all the information is there, but you either don’t want to know them or don’t care about them because they don’t fit your construct of reality. you are willfully oblivious!

we’ll address the other answers in a moment... the day after the election, nyc looked like a ghost town. the streets were empty. the sky was covered with angry dark smoke and ash gray colored clouds, blocking all light. i sensed an unspeakable foreboding, as if all the life and happiness had been drained out of the world. i kept waiting for the sky to open and a voice to say, “there is no love in this house!” what few people i did see walking around acted like they were zombified, as if they had been given a frontal lobotomy. it’s been almost two month and i still see mystified new yorkers walking around in a daze as if the shock treatment they recently had hasn’t worn off yet. their disbelief that chump is our president elect all a bad dream; and at any moment they will wake up and hillary will miraculously be president. you need another round of shock treatment!!! better yet, let’s perform another lobotomy on your brain so that you can remain in your pseudo-liberal fantasy!

on my food coop shifts, i hear people talk about how stunned they are that chump is president. when they start whining, well, let’s just say that they are lucky that there are gun laws in ny! if i had a gun, there’s no telling what i might do with it. they bitch about chump; what a crook he is, he’s a misogynist, a tax dodger, a draft dodger, he has no redeeming moral values, he’ll send your children to die in a war, blah, blah, blah... but guess what? it’s not going to effect them because they’re middle class and white! i’ll say it again! they’re not going to be effected by any of chump’s policies because they’re middle class and white!!! have you noticed that all the people bitching about chump becoming president are people who are actually going to benefit from he’s policies? so why are they bitching? because they are ignorant in a different way than chump’s supporters! they’re hillary supporters. you know, the social “liberal” elite that think they are too intelligent to support an attention grabbing buffoon like chump. they’re all for social justice as long as it doesn’t come to their neighborhood. help the homeless! but not in my neighborhood! help the junkies get off drugs! but don’t put a rehab center in my neighborhood! help the minorities and underprivileged kids get a better education! just keep them in their neighborhoods! separate but equal!!! and when we gentrify their neighborhood, bus them to a school in another neighborhood with other brown people like themselves. you know, just so they feel comfortable with their own kind...

hillary won new york [and she only won the state because of nyc and westchester, the most densely populated parts of the state - chump won most of the counties, but they had few electoral votes]  and most of new england [she and chump split maine - because people in maine are crazy! or are they? mmm... ]. the plain and simple truth is, as new yorkers, we live in a bubble. and it’s a hypocritical bubble at that! for all our so called “progressive” and “liberal” thinking, nyc is one of the most segregated cities in america! i shit you not!!! school system - number 1 in segregation! through gentrification, people of color are being priced out of neighborhoods they’ve lived in for decades. in some cases, over a century! or if they are “financially viable”, the realtors have some bullshit excuse for keeping them out of their own neighborhood; and/or a so called “up and coming” or “good” neighborhood. and it’s become very difficult to prove racial, ethnic and religious discrimination here now. over the last 10 years, we’ve had an increase in hate crimes. probably due to a backlash from obama becoming president than anything else. as soon as he became president, as i predicted, all the racists hiding in the closet came out. and they came out with a fury! but what’s funnier is that it took a biracial black man with a white mother and whose father is from kenya, so there’s no african american slave connection for him to bitch about, to become our first “black” president. in some aspects, our first “black” president is technically white because of his mother. it’s not just jewish law, it used to be the law of the land, you are the race of your mother, until the jim crow laws went into effect and wealthy whites in the south started disowning their daughters for falling in love with former slaves. this was a topic that was discussed it the media when obama was elected. should he really be considered black because his mother was white. white politicians were so pissed off that obama is miscegenated, that the 2010 census was changed to include biracial and multiracial categories for the first time just so that they didn’t have to admit that he is technically white!!! or to quote an archaic expression - he is an issued negro. don’t you love the racism in this country?! land of the free... and just a side note, and i'm not saying any of this is right one way or the other; but that recently freed black male former slave theoretically had more rights than a white female who had allegedly been free all her life. i’m just saying. it’s misogyny at its best! african americans had a problem with obama too! his father’s from kenya. his family didn’t experience american slavery, so they felt that obama couldn’t relate to them. no matter where he turned, he got it from both sides! but honestly, could you get any whiter than obama?! really?!!! if he says “folks” one more time! he’s like a 1950s white sitcom dad! is he channelling ward clever or jim anderson?! so don’t put on the pretense of shock and disbelief that a demagogue like chump is now our president. the only real ethnic diversity white americans want is in their take-out!

before i begin berating our candidates, i want to point out a few of obama’s finer points. the republics and many white americans say that obama is soft on illegal immigration. in fact, obama has deported more or has more illegals in detention centers than any other president. obama actually wanted to have universal health care, but the pussy democrats wouldn’t support him. wonder why? could it be that he beat all his white counter parts during the primary? were the clintons secretly sabotaging his presidency with backdoor deals? who knows?! what we got instead was this watered down bullshit that is the same plan that mitt romney introduced in massachusetts when he was governor. it’s not obama care, it’s romney care! with no support from his own party, obama kissed so much republican ass he became mitt romney. yeah, he got a few things done. he did something w. never did. he got osama! if anything, can you conservative ass wipes give him that?! but let’s point out some of the good things obama has done. he appointed the first latino to the supreme court; and it’s a woman! he’s expanded rights for the lgbt community!  same sex marriage! yay?... same sex divorce?... everybody’s got a right to be an asshole, right?..... when it came to commuting jail sentences and giving out presidential pardons, obama actually gave them to people who were really repentant for their crimes and who deserved a second chance, not some white collar hedge fund executive that lost someone’s life saving. obama lifted sanctions and normalized relations with cuba. yes, that’s a good thing! what are you haters holding on to?! chump getting elected killed castro! not your fucking bombs in his beard or your agents wearing poison lipstick. are you serious?! the attempts to kill him were like plots from a bad mike myers movie! and at least obama didn’t get us into any “new” wars. he tried to get us out of old ones, but alas, that didn’t last long because we destabilized those regions so much, we’ll never get out.

as for whether or not chump is going to get us into a war - hell yeah! we are already involved in several wars around the globe; whether we’re providing arms or troops, we’re there. the question is whether chump are going to escalate any war actions we are involved in. it pains me to say, because so many people are suffering in syria and the least we could do is provide them with relief by giving them sanctuary, but obama was right not to send troops into syria and get us deeper into another war that we can’t get out of. w bush and company took out saddam which completely destabilized the entire middle east. iraq and iran kept each other in check, which in turn kept the rest of the middle east in check because saddam was batshit crazy and no one knew what that crazy fucker was going to do! now look at the shit show that’s there! the truth is, no matter who became our president, we will probably going to have to send our forces somewhere. why? because of oil! i’ll say that again. because of oil! it was a matter of who wanted to do it willingly and who would do it reluctantly. hillary and chump would do it willingly for different reasons. hillary wants to prove she’s got a bigger dick and is just as tough as the boys; and there’s oil! chump wants to plaster his shitty hotels and casinos all over the middle east; and there’s oil! if bernie went in, it’s because he couldn’t stand the atrocities of the al-assad government, not so much the oil, but americans will force him to get the oil!

so here’s a novel idea! please follow along because there will be a quiz afterwards! let’s take some of that money we’re putting into the american war machine, oil exploration and gas fracking in our national parks, wild life preserves and off shore waters, and put it into developing affordable solar and other forms of natural energy. stop using your gas guzzling vehicles. stop heating your homes with crude and gas. basically get off the oil tit! then we wouldn’t need to send our troops into the middle east to steal the fucking oil from the arabs and the persians! our troops wouldn’t come back home fucked in the head because they shot a 6 year old they thought was carrying a bomb and then they wouldn’t need the mental health care that you refuse to provide them with through your bureaucratic bullshit and they wouldn’t commit suicide or shoot up supermarkets, mickey dees and shopping malls!!! got all that?!  oh, i forgot. none of that is going to happen because politicians like hillary and rich assholes that can buy their way into the presidency like chump have the oil companies’ cocks so deep down their throats, that oil spluge has bypassed their stomachs and is gushing out their asses. what?! i can’t hear your lies! you have a dick jammed in your filthy putrid jizz infested mouth! remember to swipe it before you kiss your children you unrepentant gangrenous demonic cuntmuscle! un-fucking-believable what these assholes are doing to vets!!!

people asked, before and after the election, is this the best we can do? is this the best america has to offer? yes!!! yes it is! why? because this country is and always will be a cesspool!

first, let us look at the major candidates. all the candidates, including bernie. contrary to popular belief, hillary, chump and bernie were not the only people running for president. there were over 100 people running for president. some of them had legitimate platforms like jill stein and gary johnson. while others wanted to mandate policies of seeking out extraterrestrials and expelling them from the planet [that’s taking xenophobia to the extreme] to insuring the rights of sasquatch to the guy who wants to ban animals as food. yes!!! someone wants to ban your rights to eat a juicy burger or steak or that delicious pulled pork sandwich! no more bacon and eggs?! heavens to murgatroyd!!!

let’s start with bernie... a lot of people think that hillary railroaded bernie. and there probably was some tempering and election fraud during the democratic party primaries. why? because the fucking clintons are bullies! they’ve become so powerful, if you’re a member of the democratic party and you want to do something, anything at all, you have to have backing by the clintons. remember that back in 2008 when hillary was running against obama in the primaries, the clintons tried to bribe the delegates to change their votes for obama to her during the democratic convention. the delegates wouldn’t and the most old bug eyes and bubba could get obama to agree to was a cabinet post for her. being a bully can only get you so far. and i’m not saying this is true, i don’t know what’s in her heart, but can you imagine what would have happened to obama if he had picked her as his vice president? would air force one be shot down by “terrorists”? maybe an “accidental” fall down a flight of stairs? 

honestly, she didn’t need to bully bernie because he wouldn’t have gotten elected anyway. and it’s not because he’s a so called “radical”. bernie’s not a radical, he’s an old hippy that bought a suit and tie. he’s not a socialist. he’s not a commie. at least not in the way the republicans, or even some of the democrats, would have you believe. socialist! communist! radical! these are words used to scare people because the powers that be are banking on the fact that most of you don’t even know what these words mean. look at the roots of these words! socialist/social - society! communist/commune - community! the republicans use words like democrat and liberal as if they were profane. democrat - democracy! isn’t that what we claim we want in this country?! democracy?! the right to choose who represents our interest in a fair and uncorrupted system of government! liberal - liberty! liberal means free thinking, open minded and liberty means freedom! is the ability to think for yourself a bad thing?! the republics and their rich crony friends would have you think so. do you want your freedom? or do you want to continue with the illusion of freedom that the current government allows you to have? right now, you have the freedom to keep voting for the same repulsive bullshit parties that aren’t going to do a fucking thing for you except screw you out of your hard earned dollars because rich people and corporations don’t pay their fair share of taxes. radical means change or extreme change from the root; synonymous with things like revolutionary, reform, provocative, liberal, progressive, different. and let me ask you this: pro means good, con means bad. they’re opposites. if progress means to move forward, what does congress mean?!

back to bernie... he’s an old school democrat; the kind that used to believe in things like social and civil rights for all citizens, quite unlike the do nothing, lobbyist and corporation ass-kissing pussy centrists that occupy washington now. what’s so radical about wanting to ensure decent and universal health care to all citizens? what’s so radical about wanting someone to earn a real living wage so that you can afford the fundamentals like food, clothing and shelter? what’s so radical about believing that all americans have a right to get a college education if they want one so that they know they aren’t being screwed over by the rich? what’s so radical about believing in real social justice and wanting to end the privatization of prisons? these are not radical ideas! it’s basic human decency!!!  wait! my bad! caring about the well being of your fellow human beings?! that is a radical idea!!! what the fuck is he thinking?! i guess he forgot that the 1960s are over and the lend a helping hand to a person in need spirit has died a long time ago. in fact rigor mortis has set in.

bernie is an independent that joined the democratic party because as an independent, he never would have gotten the exposure he needed running for president. however, he was never going to get elected if he had been the democratic candidate for several reasons. first of all, he truly is independent. too independent! he’s not in bed with anybody! but, isn’t that a good thing? yes! good for us, bad for the corporate money machine that really runs the country. bad for bernie because there was no way in hell they were going to let him take office. bernie does not suck dick and he will not bend over and take it up the ass! secondly, bernie is too nice. he’s angry, but he’s nice. he will call you out on your bullshit, but he does it diplomatically. do you see chump being diplomatic? he’s a fucking asshole! and he just makes shit up just to fuck with you!!! and he doesn’t care if you call him out on his bullshit! he just makes up new bullshit. do you think bernie can contend with that?! he let bug eyes and her monkey devils walk over him. third, bernie didn’t have the support he needed to secure the nomination let alone become president. yes, overwhelmingly bernie had the youth vote, but they make up a small portion of the electorate. some of his supporters weren’t even old enough to vote. and who were these youth supporters? a large portion, dare i say the majority, were under 30, well educated and white. yes, many of his supporters were over 30. many were black and latino. he might have even had some asians and native americans in there. there were some people in their 30s and 40s, but still the majority were well educated, under 30 and white. what does this mean in the greater scheme of things. since the majority of voters are in that 40 to 70 demographic and they overwhelmingly supported bug eyes, it means that bernie was fucked from the beginning! it means that this country is so fractured that we may never come out of the abyss.

the only people who seemed to be listening to what sanders was saying were people who he wasn’t particularly addressing. what he had to say about education and colleges was addressed to the youth vote in part because his ideas on the future of education in this country effected them; but it was really addressed more to their suffering parents who have to pay for that shit. all those angry young people screaming and having temper tantrums at rallies; and later when hillary got the nomination, you didn’t pay for shit! your parents did! what the fuck are you angry about?! you just got out of fucking grad school! what’s the matter?! you’re upset because you didn’t get that six figure job you thought you deserved with your bullshit degree in dead languages?! using your law degree for toilet paper because skadden arps is not hiring this year? boo woo!!! despite what your micro managing parents told you, you don’t get what you want just because you want it. you have to work for it! you have to earn it! bernie was not talking to you!!! you haven’t lived long enough to be disappointed or disenfranchised. if your parents are still paying your cell phone bill or you rent or even half your rent, you are not disenfranchised. you are spoiled and you need to grow the fuck up! bernie was talking to the real disenfranchised, not you. he was talking to people who went through social injustice. he was talking to the people that despite working 40 hours a week, they still can’t pay their bills, rent or feed their family. he was talking to the vets that got neglected by the government when they came back from fighting its unjust wars. unfortunately only a few of these people heard bernie cry out about the injustices in this country and how he wanted to change things. the rest were just too beaten down to listen or care. apathy is now the blue plate special along with avarice for dessert.

now i’m going to say something and take it to heart. because if you take away anything from what i’ve said so far, it is that you have a deeper understanding of how truly fucked up this country is and how divided we are as a nation. bernie would not have won the election because of one simple fact; he’s jewish. we have never had a jewish president or even a vice president. “but we never had a black president and then obama got elected!” yeah, right! and just look at how successful he was with congress shutting down anything he tried to do. we won’t have another black president for another 232 years! grow up!!! let’s face some truths; obama was elected because the american people thought the two white guys that he ran against were scarier! if mccain died, we’d have sarah palen. as for mitt, there wasn’t a self respecting  woman alive in american that was going to vote for mitt; and if there husband did, they’d lose their balls. we’ve only had one catholic president and his brains were splattered over the streets of dallas. 

there have only been 8 jewish supreme court justices, 3 of which are on the bench now. and not one of them has ever been chief justice! only one was consider for chief justice and so much dirt was dug up on him to keep him from getting the nomination that he had to resign to avoid impeachment. did you watch the senate confirmation hearings for kagan when obama nominated her? that redneck lindsey graham asked her what she did on christmas to call to the fact that she was jewish. why didn’t anyone call this prick out on his bullshit?! her response, “like any good jew, i was probably in a chinese restaurant.” then she asked him what was his point. he admitted he had none other than wanting to know what she did for christmas. why didn’t he just scream “she’s a jew” at the top of his lung because that was his point, right?! and this is what that other asshole redneck pat buchanan had to say about kagan: “If Kagan is confirmed, Jews, who represent less than 2 percent of the U.S. population, will have 33 percent of the Supreme Court seats. Is this the Democrats’ idea of diversity? But while leaders in the black community may be upset, the folks who look more like the real targets of liberal bias are white Protestants and Catholics, who still constitute well over half of the U.S. population.” this is an actual quote from a so called educated person! these two clowns are not in a minority! just travel around the country. get out of la, nyc, san fran, seattle austin and see what’s really out side the bubble. see exactly how “tolerate” the rest of the country actually is.

you’re probably asking, if this country is so anti semitic than why do we support israel? because we hate arabs more than we hate jews! why? because they have oil! enough said! our only interest in israel is to use it as a base camp for destabilizing the middle east to steal the oil from the arabs. we don’t really support israel. if the israelis suddenly found oil, we’d be trying to steal it from them too.

if bernie had gotten the nomination, chump would have used bernie’s faith against him. he throw shit up against hillary about her foundation and chump fucking gave her money for it! given the racial, ethnic and political climate in this country, do you think chump would be a gentleman and not use bernie’s faith against him?! he’d call attention to it every chance he got, even though his own daughter married someone jewish and converted. he’s divisive and doesn’t give a shit if it serves his purpose. chump would probably have you believe that bernie would let israel annex the u.s. and that we’d all have to convert to judaism. chump is a demagogue and he will use your most paranoid fears against you, against bernie, hillary, or anyone that gets in his way. he’ll plant that seed; try to equate bernie with everything the rest of the country hates about jews. jew! new york - jew! brooklyn, new york - jew! woody allen - jew! larry david - jew! whiny, kvetch - jew! chump’s been doing a lot of whining and kvetching himself, but it’s okay because his protestant. and white. and male. and rich. and privileged. and he has been able to screw you out of enough of your money and he wants more! so he has every right to complain! and think about this. bernie had relatives that died in the holocaust. i’m not saying this is fact, it’s only a possibility; chump, whose grandfather was an illegal alien and a pimp from germany [and chump still has relatives living in germany today], may have had relatives that put bernie’s relatives to death. again, not saying it’s true, just saying it’s a possibility. chump never talks about the german side of his family or what they did during the war. when it’s put into perspective, however, kind of sick and ironic, isn’t it?

oh, bug eyes! i have a special place in my heart for bug eyes. she does something to me. it’s called agita! when is somebody going to take that power hungry bitch down?! i don’t mean in an election. i mean when are people going to finally say enough is enough?! take a hint! the american people are tired of you and your sexual predator husband. she should have taken a hint when she ran against obama in 2008. people didn’t want you then; and they certainly don’t want you now. the clintons have too much baggage. sex scandals, money scandals, political improprieties. and for all this scandal, they are very, very, very boring! excruciatingly boring! how could you be involved in political, financial and sex scandals and be so fucking boring?! chump has the same thing going on, but he’s batshit crazy and that makes him entertaining!

this was hillary’s election to lose. and dammit, it was an embarrassing defeat. statically she had everything she needed to win; so how do you get your ass whipped by a batshit crazy megalomaniac with hair that looks like he just had eight rounds of electroshock?! can you explain that to me?! i’ll tell you how; by carrying around the excessive garbage that is the clintons! hillary’s biggest problem, besides the fact that she changed her position every time something became topical or someone challenged her, was that she couldn't prove why she was better than chump. if sanders had an idea, bug eyes said, “"great and here’s how i’m going to expand and make it better.” really?! i mean, really?!!!

bug eyes said chump was unfit to be president. she ought to know, she and bubba went to his wedding. the clintons were, and records show that they still are, members of chump’s country/golf club. in fact chump and bubba were regular golf buddies. chump gave money to the clintons’ foundation and vice versa. the debates were like an episode of divorce court flintstone style; with bug eyes as wilma and chump as fred. were they actually about anything other than middle school name calling?! maybe if we had some third party candidates there, there might have been a real discussion about the issues. what’s the problem chump? did bug eyes and bubba give you a blender in the wrong color for a wedding present? was it cuisinart instead of kitchenaid? what’s the matter bug eyes? did chump and his latest mail order bride not send you a thank you note for said blender? or did you catch bubba groping said mail order bride? if you think he’s so unfit, why the hell are you hanging out with him?! when i think my friends are unfit, not worthy of my company, i cut them off! see ya! don’t call me, i’ll call you when the apocalypse begins. i guess i’ll be making a lot of phone calls soon...

i’ve talk to a lot of people about bug eyes, about chump and so many of them were so turned off and repulsed by this election that they didn’t want to vote at all. they thought chump was a joke, completely unqualified to lead the nation, but they also said that they couldn’t tolerate another 4 years of the clintons. it would be another 4 years of gridlock as an all republic congress tried to shutdown a democratic president; and she’s a woman, so all the men in washington wouldn’t think she’s tough enough to make the”hard” decisions like starting another war in the middle east to get more oil. the scandals and what would bubba’s role be a first man or first husband? there were rumors circulating around that she was going to make him u.n. secretary. if the rumors were true; had she been elected, that would have made them the most powerful couple in the world - bigger than queen elizabeth and prince philip! which is more frightening? chump being president or the clintons being the most powerful couple in the world? because you’re not just electing old bug eyes; they’re a package deal, you’re electing bubba too. it’s a round about way of him getting a third term as president.

you say he wasn’t so bad last time. he was kind of nice. yeah! of course he’s nice. he’s a used car salesman! he has something to sell you that you don’t want. he told you flat out that he was full of shit and he didn’t care. “you vote for me, that’s on you.” and people still voted for him. hell, when he was governor of arkansas he nickname was slick willie! if you can’t figure that out, go back to school! i’ll give it to him, though. at least he has charisma. bug eyes... well, she’s like a frigid proctologist. she feels nothing and is ready to stick a cold, stiff probe up your ass. see, for most people, they knew one way or another they were going to get shafted. it was a question of how they were going to get shafted; by a bile talking limp dick with his innocuous concubine or were they going to get double teamed by an icy anal probe and pathological sex addict. the choice is yours! most people went for the limp dick because they thought it would hurt less when they’d have to bent over. not!!!

bug eyes thought she had the white pseudo intellectual and working class [union employees] vote sewn up; and that she only needed to court the minority vote. a gross miscalculation on her part. she had to do a lot of back paddling because bubba passed the crime bill when he was president and minorities weren’t going to let her forget that. he also passed the welfare reform bill which hurt a lot of single mother out there trying to raise their children. women weren’t going to let her forget that! then there’s her ridiculous slogan, “america’s already great.” how many test audiences did her analysts go through before they settled on that one. is that really the best they could do? how are you going to tell people america is already great when their income doesn’t keep up with the cost of living?! how is american great when 75% of your paycheck goes for rent or on your mortgage?! how is america great when someone would rather pay the penalty for not having healthcare because they can’t afford the so called affordable healthcare because they don’t earn enough, but they earn too much to get any kind of aid? how is american great when you’re forced to go to college just to get a minimum wage job and you go into debt doing so?

years ago, when slick was president, bug eyes had a great slogan. she said, “it takes a village to raise a child.” she even wrote a book about it. she actually “borrowed” it from an african proverb, but none the less it’s true! i would hope that buggers would believe that’s true, after all she supposedly wrote it. i can’t say what’s actually in her heart, but i’ve never seen anything, or heard about or read about her taking some kid from the south side of that village up to her estate in chappaqua. have you? so much for the village...

of the major candidates, hill was the only one that was for gun control. you can no better control the guns in this country than you can control what brand of toothpaste or deodorant people use. americans love their guns and they aren’t giving them up. gun legislation is a joke! take a gander at the brady bill. it doesn’t stop people from buying guns, not really. the bill applies to how guns are sold by licensed dealers. once that gun leaves the gun shop, it’s fair game. and it only applies to guns manufactured in a 50 year period; so let’s say there is a working luger from ww2 at a gun or antique shop, it’s over 50 years old and considered a curio. you don’t need to do a background check because it’s a collector’s piece. you can still shoot someone and blow his head off. or someone with a clean background can buy a gun, then turn around and sell the gun to someone or even give it away as a gift because he’s not a licensed gun dealer. there are too many loop holes in the law that can still get guns in the hands of people who shouldn’t have them. the brady bill was passed to give white americans the illusion of safety.

and why are white americans only mildly concerned about about guns when, say, an african american church or an lgbt night club is shot up? “oh, those poor people! it’s a tragedy!” they have no problem with guns and black on black crime. when someone mentions gun control, they have a convulsion because they need their guns to protect themselves from the brown people who are trying to move into their communities. the only time white americans are truly concerned about gun control is when one of their own goes into a school or one of their suburban shopping malls and shoots up the place. their fears about brown people and crime are preposterous! statically most crime is committed within a race. white on white, black on black, latino on latino, native on native, asian on asian. why? because people stupidly trust people in their own race or ethnic background more than they would a so called outsider. the brown people aren’t coming to get you! not yet anyway... gun control is not the issue. the american attitude is! this nation needs to be on lithium and have some serious psycho therapy about anger management. americans are so quick to solve every problem with violence. maybe it’s because this nation was founded by ex-cons and peasants; there seems to be an abusive streak embedded to the soul of this country. hillary you need to address the systemic problems that’s ailing this nation! you can’t put a bandaid on bleeding artery...

now, don’t get me wrong. bug eyes actually did have a platform. she had ideas that could have actually help people. if you had gone to her website, many her ideas and reforms [some of them “borrowed” from other candidates] were posted there. some of them may have actually worked had she been elected and congress cooperated. they would have help all americans; even those blind, close minded whites that so vehemently supported chump. the problem is that hillary didn’t make that clear to them, or all of us, because she thought that those people were a minority. she thought she had all the “intelligent” people in her pocket. she needed to speak out on the issues. she needed to address the problems of this country with all its citizens and make it clear that she was fighting for everyone. she needed to tell everyone that there are no special interests; that the only interest is the state of human dignity and what it is costing americans to have it. I CHALLENGE ANY POLITICIAN THAT IS AGAINST MINIMUM WAGE TO LIVE ON IT FOR ONE YEAR AND SEE IF THEY CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT SACRIFICING SOME PART OF THEIR DIGNITY! instead, hillary chose to make a disgraceful spectacle of herself by playing a malicious game of “yo’ mama” with the chumpster! come on!!! you’ve been in the political game long enough. saying i’m not chump isn’t going to get you anything, especially when you’re carrying around the baggage that you have. you’re chump in a lady’s pantsuit and less entertaining! how many men refer to their ex-wives as ellie mae? you can’t run on a platform of how ludicrous and incompetent your opponent is if you’re not going to outline how and why you are better than him. you can’t run a platform of “i’m not donald.” that doesn’t mean anything! you have to have solutions to real problems! you have to say what the fuck you’re going to do!!! and you didn’t! and that’s why you lost the election...

so now let’s take a look at our president elect. there were a myriad of reasons why chump was elected, foremost, that white americans thought that america or the idea of the “american dream” was no longer theirs. xenophobia has become a viral infection. what white americans forget, is that they are all descendants of immigrants themselves. this land was stolen from the native americans. the only thing that was paid for was parts of nyc and part of the hudson valley by the dutch, which the england stole from them. chump goes off about the mexicans and the anti immigration racist cheer and swoon at his rhetoric as if he were moses delivering the ten commandments. what white americans fail to realize, or maybe they don’t want to realize, is that at one time the majority of the country west of the mississippi river was in fact mexican/spanish territory! look at all the goddamn names! they’re all spanish! or native american in the northern midwest and the north west. people you need to get a clue besides a grip!!!

chump was primarily elected because of one thing; and that thing was the only thing this election was really about - the state of white privilege in america!!! who has it, who thinks they’re losing it and who wants it. nothing more. nothing less. chump is not the problem. he is just a symptom of a greater disease; and if this infection of hatred and bigotry, contempt of the lower classes and the misfortunate are not addressed, we won’t have to worry about invaders or terrorist because we will have another civil war. we will destroy ourselves! 

first of all, let me ask you this: would you let a person who’s declared bankruptcy four times be in charge of the finances of this country? in 1995 chump lost $916,000,000 in “investments”. some reports say it was $950,000,000. either way, because of the loss, he probably won’t have to pay taxes again until he croaks. again, would you let a person who loses that kind of money in one year be in charge of this country’s finances?! when i brought up these facts with chump supporters, they either ignored the facts by making excuses for him or they’d bring up some shit about bug eyes; or they say it was the nature of business, which is still ignoring the facts. he’s either a stupid business man to lose so much or he’s a crook. i’m choosing the latter because chump is too devious to be stupid. my question is, what is he going to swindle out of the american people? chump makes slick willie look like a boy scout. i was going to say priest, but given the church’s history with priests and children; then i thought mormon, but again, the mormons with their multiple wives... i went with boy scout. and here’s another fun little piece of trivia: hillary was originally a republic. she was a goldwater girl when she was in college. she switched parties, becoming a democrat in the late 60s, because she thought the republics weren’t doing enough to ease the flight of minorities and women. chump was originally a democrat, even voted for bubba - twice! he changed parties and became a republic for the 2008 presidential election because he thought there were too many democrats running and he’d get more exposure as a republican.

anyway, i don’t think chump believes half the bile that comes out of his mouth. he’s a demagogue, he’s divisive! he will use whatever is in his arsenal to get what he wants. demagogues use people’s fears and prejudices to turn them against one another; and in this country, that’s not very hard to do. 2008 was not the right time for chump. the events of 911 were fading as the country was collapsing financially from the s&l housing scandal and deregulation made the banks untouchable when they unscrupulously swindled the american people out of our money. all of that can be blamed on w. and the republicans and their failed policies. the american people were ready for change, or so they said. they elected a democrat for president [and he was a black man] so he could “fix” the country. however, they reelected the same old cronies that were palling around with bush. where’s the change?! the republicans shutdown congress and we had 8 years of gridlock and nothing was done. then everyone blamed obama for the effects we are still feeling from the bush administration. it takes less than a minute to make a catastrophic mistake that we may or may not recover from. it takes decades to repair that mistake if it can be repair at all. look at the middle east and north africa.

people used to say that reagan was the anti-christ. he had the 666 thing going on with his name. don’t know if it’s true, it can just be hear say, but i heard that’s really the reason hinkley shot him, the jodie foster thing came later because reagan’s handlers were trying to cover up the religious aspect of the shooting. again, just a rumor... i have seen the anti-christ and he has a mouth that’s shaped like an anus for spewing his bile and an atrocious combover and he’s not even bald! chump is the perfect representation of everything american. spoiled, selfish, egotistical, arrogant, ignorant, oblivious, divisive, misogynistic, greedy, and a sense of entitlement.

chump promised he’d bring back jobs to america. why doesn’t he start by having his clothing line manufactured in america! all those “let’s make america great again” hats were made in china and so is his clothing line. the hats should have states, “let’s make america white again” because that’s what his campaign was all about. all those monoliths around the world that he builds for his own self glory and bear his name were build with chinese steel, not american. chump says he’s going to reopen the coal mines in wv and put miners back to work. the mines were closed because everyone was dying from black lung disease, carbon monoxide poisoning, cave ins or explosions. the use of coal was making the air unfit to breathe. why should chump care if these people are dying from working in the mines. he’s not going to live in their area. he’s not putting a casino there. the coal industry was not regulated well and the owners found ways of skirting around those regulations. the workers were the ones that were screwed because they weren’t able to sue their bosses when something went wrong. do we really need to give that back to them? why don’t we invest in other forms of energy? why don’t we educate these people to do some kind of other labor. why do we just educate them period?! oh, because they might understand that they are being fucked over! i am not going to talk about standing rock because it hits too close to home and i may have to get a gun and go to a shopping mall!

look at the people chump is choosing for his cabinet. can we be any more fucked?! ceo of exxon as secretary of state?! how bad do we need oil?! steven mnuchin as secretary of the treasury? really?! the foreclosure king?! goldman sachs banking asshole! hollywood producer! a fast food restaurant executive as secretary of labor?! that’ll put a kick in minimum wage! and let’s not forget betsy devos of amway fame as secretary of education! i don’t know, maybe putting all these business may do something positive. maybe chump is really benign and is as innocuous as his trophy wife, but deep in my heart i think THIS COUNTRY IS TRULY FUCKED!!! so maybe when the infrastructure does collapse, and it will, it will spark the wake up call that america finally needs because it’s been complacent for far too long.

i have my dry goods. a supply of fabric for making clothes, yarn for knitting more clothes and blankets. batteries, flash lights and candles, portable griller for cooking. i’ve even learned the useful skill of canning and i’ve got some mini greenhouses for growing vegetables. i don’t need to eat meat. brushing up on my combat skills. i may have to get that antique luger... 

wake up people! this is not really tv! ARE YOU READY FOR THE APOCALYPSE?!!!