#i kinda really like that idea. i never even planned to write Pamper specifically. i just wanted to write n was fulll

[smol-grey-tea]

Secret Ending Three - Chapter Five: We Think We Know You

Don't judge books by their covers!!

The wind bites my face as we exit the cafe. The owner led the way, paws in hand, leaving myself and the red head following. She and her bear fall into conversation, pointing out every shop on the way and explaining everything in great detail.

It is impossible to describe the experience of watching her. She is someone with an undeniably one-track mind, incredibly simple in a strangely charming way. Her round and soft, gentle features dance in the midst of her excitement, hopping slightly and with a permanent beam from ear to ear.

I'm not sure how I might handle it if I'm to lose this sight. Watching is satisfactory, but not at all enough, especially after how much our relationship has grown, and us along with it. My appreciation for my owner has only brightened since becoming human and I don't see it's light dimming any time soon. I am determined to win this war with the other dolls.

The other dolls... I do hope that my apology earlier today was to the owner's liking, as well as her bear's. I want to make the best impression I can of myself, not just for my own sake, but so that the new addition to our family may feel at home too.

However, if I'm to ensure my success, I can't just focus on displaying my own strengths, but assessing the competition as well. My attention is drawn to my right, where Red walks beside me, slightly faster than myself. I'd tell him to slow down, but I'm not sure he's physically capable of that. My shins hurt to keep up with him, still.

He looks at me, looking at him, and cracks an awkward smile. I blink back. It's hard to know how to act around the others already, but even more now that all of them have dated the same girl I have.

I've noticed a considerable change in Red since the realities converged and it's changed our relationship. Or it will, at least. In truth, we haven't been alone together until now. We've slept in the same bedroom already of course, but being asleep or busy is hardly time to get to know someone.

Despite this, I've made the observations that Red is now more level headed and less hyperactive than he was before. He also has a notably weaker obsession with that cartoon though. I'm not sure I've even heard him mention it once yet.

What exactly occurred in his version of events? He's rarer and has much stronger of a personality than mine, but he has always been slow and positively delusional. What specifically made the owner choose him over me in that reality, and how can I prevent it from happening again?

"So, Lance." I was running through several ways to interrogate my rival, but he began the conversation before I could even decide on a topic to start with. "You guys never explained about that cross dressing thing. What did they mean?"

Oh... That again...

"... I have already explained that it is none of your concern... And besides, it's not as big of a deal as people are making it seem. I simply took actions to prevent someone else in taking the owner's first kiss in my version of reality. That is all."

"... Really?" A laugh played on his lips as he scratched his cheek at my answer. "And you dressed up as a girl to do that? I assumed someone forced you into it or something. It doesn't sound like something you would do just for fun."

"I did not do it for fun. The version of yourself in my reality was there, and he did not find it very fun either. I can assure you."

"Okay..." This conversation mortifies me, but the look on the red head's stunned face as he assumedly tries to imagine such a situation is exceptionally amusing.

"On the topic of that though," I said to change the subject as we rounded a corner where our destination was finally in sight. "Did you also act in that nonsensical play in your world?"

"I did actually!" His entire face lit up at the mention of the play, as expected. "And so did the Heroine!" Unfortunately, also just as expected. Had he achieved what I had tried to prevent in my own world?

"It was so fun! You only signed her up for the play for her safety, since she'd been attacked by some girls before that, and the drama club members always walk home together. But when she started attending it with me, it was like it was always meant to be.

"It was difficult sometimes, but I think the practicing the lines over and over really helped bring her memories back when she was struggling with losing them. It felt like I'd really accomplished something good when I finally went up on stage with her and performed after working so hard to get it right. I hope we'll be able to do it again in the future."

This man is awfully good at talking endlessly, especially about such pointless things... It struck me as a surprise to hear that I was the one to sign the owner up for that ridiculous play in Red's version of events. He didn't pester her to join, but it was instead my own decision? In what kind of danger could she possibly have been that I would agree to such idiocy..? I dread to think.

But the rest of this news doesn't sound good either. Because I was the one who decided it, of course the owner would join a club she has no personal interest or experience in. Maybe the appeal that Red has for her is that the two of them are, in some ways, equally as slow as each other.

Two slow people in love... It's at least cute on Eri. On Red, it's... Well...

"We're here!" my owner calls. In front of us stands the stationery shop we were looking for. I admit that it lifts my spirits to see a place so organised.

"Let's go in then," I say, greatly looking forward to the venture. I say this to Red, but upon hearing no response, I turn around to realise that he is nowhere I can see him.

I am left, standing alone outside the shop. I scan my surroundings, but see no trace of him.

If I could have it my way, I'd say good riddance. The owner must have grown quite close to him after how much time they spent together in the drama club. Plus, because he helped her overcome her memory loss issues, she may even feel indebted to him, or even obligated to choose him as her one true love.

A simple minded, slow man with ridiculous dreams and aspirations, yet a vibrant personality. A man who enjoys showing off and effortlessly exceeds at entertaining a crowd of people atop a stage. A man who cures the owner's magical illness without even trying. A man who has never known struggle, who successes come to with ease.

As expected, he is someone to be very wary of in this fight for the right to stand by the owner's side. I should be careful not to let my guard down around fierce competition such as himself.

As I'm about to give up and follow Eri into the shop, I catch the sound of Red's voice behind me and instead make haste to find it's source. I end up walking back the way we came for a moment before finding him seated in an alley, similar to how Yeonho was found when he was chasing that cat.

In this instance though, Red was not kneeling in front of a cat, but in front of someone who was bundled up in warm clothes, seated on a sheet of cardboard under the overhanging roof of an abandoned restaurant. I hadn't even noticed they were there. I don't think anyone else had either.

But there Red was. He'd bought cookies to go from Banjul when we left, but they were now in his hands, being offered to the complete stranger in front of him. The stranger looked incredibly thankful.

I watched them speak briefly before Red soon returned, looking relieved. Had the person told him they were going to be okay?

"... What were you doing?" I asked him.

"Oh..! Sorry for leaving like that. I just saw that guy and he looked like he needed help."

"Right... That was...very thoughtful. People don't usually think to help."

"Oh, well... It wasn't really that thoughtful... I just know what it's like..."

I know what it's like..? To be...homeless..?

It is impossible to describe the experience of watching him say nothing else and return back on track to the stationery shop with a skip in his step, as though the entire exchange never occurred.

I'm left in a stunned silence. He couldn't possibly have done such a thing to boast about how kind he is; I didn't even know he was doing it. And he never even accepted my regretful attempt at a compliment.

Besides, what could he have meant by knowing what it's like..? I've spent almost the entirety of my human life sharing a bedroom with him, but this only defies all expectations.

What else is there about him that I do not know? This new knowledge of Red makes me feel sick. It brings back the same sickness I felt on the day I performed with him on stage in Eri's stead. And what a wonderful, detestable, life-changing day.

[dolliedarlin]

hiiii!! how are you doing today? i’ve been a little stressed today so i hope you don’t mind if i do a little venting lol.

anywho, my school schedule has been changed so all my free time to do my homework is in the afternoon, which isn’t really working for me because i work better when i get things done in the morning because i have more focus when i just wake up. so i had to force myself to do my homework today and i’m feeling a little stressed. i managed to get things done but i just feel really burnt out lately and i’m struggling to keep positive.

i don’t really have anyone else to talk to about this so i just kinda sent it, i’m sorry for the negativity :(

anyways i hope you’ve been doing well lately. besides my stress from today i’ve been doing pretty good. i’m trying to get myself to go back to writing the fanfic i started on as i have high hopes for it, but i’m also really not feeling it. do you have any suggestions on how to motivate yourself to write or just to motivate yourself in general?

i hope you had a great day today, and i’m thankful for you and your kindness!

my love! hello! today has been a good day so far, much more productive than all my previous days so i’m very happy right now 🥰 but also incredibly sleepy 😂

oh darling, i’m so sorry to hear that, i know it gets incredibly hard sometimes and i’ve been, and still am, struggling with motivation regarding work myself, so please don’t apologise, you should never apologise for needing help or feeling a certain way. 

nevertheless, thank you for trusting me enough to reach out with what you’re struggling with and please continue to come to me whenever you feel down or need any help in the future too, even though i don’t want you facing anymore hardships at all, either way, i promise to do my best to make things better for you

i apologise for replying so late but i hope that, in the meantime, the situation has been able to get better for you, whether it has or not, this is my advice...

i personally feel as though motivation comes with doing things and staying active in the things that you need to get done. so, even though you have to force yourself sometimes, if you have a list and tick away all the things you were able to do, you look at that list and say to yourself “wow, even though i wasn’t motivated at all to do those things, i still managed to do them, i’m amazing! i deserve a fat cookie and good old pamper sesh” with this, not only do you motivate yourself to do better and do more the following day but you also become a source of inspiration for yourself - you become your own inspiration and i think that’s a very powerful thing and will be able to take you further than anything else

now, i know that it’s hard to force yourself to do things but the trick i use is to make sure that i’ve told myself i have to do a task/piece of work at a specific time of the day, for example, today at 9:15 i need to work through my functional neuroanatomy week 21 lectures. if i’m really not feeling it, i set a timer for 5 minutes and tell myself i only have to work for those minutes - you’ll find that when you begin and the timer goes off, you’ll want to continue to finish your work - this is for school work but is also applicable to writing too 

for writing specifically, i’m a big planner and i like to split a oneshot/chapter into scenes when planning so that after i finish a scene i can tick it off and it motivates me to continue but also can be an indicator of how much I've worked and i can tell myself to rest/grab a snack as a reward.  additionally, if i haven’t written for a while, i’d read through my oneshot/chapter plan and that will inspire me to write bc it’ll remind me of the excitement i originally had when i first thought of the fic idea

you’ll find that as you continue doing things by the day, although it may start small at first, you’ll end up doing more things and stay consistently bc you want to keep your momentum

at the top of my head, this is what i can advise and i hope it’s helpful enough but if you not then please come to me again and i’d be more than happy to continue helping you however i can 

i really hope things get better for you and that the stress eases up but you’re a strong person so i know you can do it but i’m also proud of you for pushing through bc hardships like this where you have to grit your teeth and bear with your situation can be the hardest kinds. please rest well, stay healthy and hydrated too, if you still find motivation hard and unable to do work, as long as you take care of yourself, that’s the most important thing 

you are loved and hard-working and deserving of all good things, please be kind to yourself and put yourself first as much as possible ❤️❤️❤️

[dolphin-enthusiast]

Hello! I hope you're having a wonderful day/night, I’d love JJBA matchup? I am a Demisexual/Panromantic, Female, Virgo, INFJ-T, and my pronouns are She/They! I don't really like being around others I'm not familiar with. I talk a lot when I'm nervous, almost always saying something completely asinine or embarrassing. Those moments haunt me.

I'm a rather judgmental person, first impressions are sort of everything to me. If I have an idea about someone, it sticks even if I've never spoken to them. It'll take a bit to convince me otherwise. I don't trust easily, and I'm very stubborn. Along with talking I tend to fidget and bite my nails when I'm nervous or even just bored, I get rather anxious when I'm doing nothing.

I only have a select few friends but I do everything in my power to make sure that those few people are happy with me and with themselves. While I do my best to know my place it’s hard for me to turn a blind eye when I know said person is suffering. I’m definitely a mom friend. I am a little needy with those I love, I have a some abandonment issues.

I do have some anger issues and I am quite the control freak but I never let anyone else see that side of me unless I know them. I do my best to avoid any form of conflict. When I'm comfortable enough out of my shell, I'm much more bold, open, and, some may say, intense. I can get pretty chaotic when I'm 100% in my element.

I am a very obsessive person, once I am interested in something I tend to suck the life out of it, or just lose interest and move onto the next subject. I love to write and I occasionally draw, though I am horrendously critical of it all. I love anything crime, mystery, or horror related and I especially love to write about it. Though I have a very soft spot for romance.

I love to joke with people, though I have a very strange sense of humor. I hate a lot of things, though overly loud, or confrontational people really erk me. I hate PDA, I hate being touched in public, or without permission. I most definitely hate pet names like 'babe' or 'baby' it makes me very uncomfortable.

I'm a very irritable person, but I am not quick to violence unless I am forced into it. While I do write my hobbies are rather simple, I love baking and occasionally gardening. I hope this wasn't too much! Again, I hope you have a wonderful day/night!

I match you with...

JOTARO! (specifically 4taro)

Ok so the way it goes with this man, you’re either his complete opposite (though that’s a wildcard by itself) or you’re his total copy, your case being the latter lmao gshghsg. First of all, he is quite fond of your rather reserved and quiet nature (overly loud people and just...alot of noise in general greatly bothers Jotaro), the man simply being drawn to your almost motherly aura. Speaking of, he secretely REALLY fuckin loves being pampered and cared for by you (and in turn always does the same to you, obviously) since you lowkey remind him of his own mom bye sksghs BUT HE WON’T ADMIT IT of course. Akin to you, Jotaro puts alot of accent on first impressions and it’s EVEN more difficult to get on his good side after you made an absolute jester of yourself in front of him in the beginning, therefore he likes that you share his thoughts on the matter. And be it between us, your first impression was just right.

And let me just tell you JUST HOW similar you two acc are: Jotaro himself is a control freak who always must plan everything ahead or else he’ll f l i p, he too has quite some nervous tics that he tries suppressing (and will def always stop you from biting your nails or further upsetting your skin), he l o a t h e s useless fights and drama (God bless that you ain’t a drama queen, honestly he wouldn’t be able to mentally do it shggjsg), he CERTAINLY does n o t trust like...at all...you could strap him to a chair and pry his mouth open in an attempt to force him to speak and Jotaro would still rather perish than open up. And the list goes on really, the fact that you’d be able to immediately understand his train of thought, relate to his ideas and ALSO respect his boundaries and give him space when he needs it is p much ideal in his opinion. And fret not, even if you tend to be a little needy, news flash: Jotaro can be quite clingy himself after getting comfortable w you, but he’d hate if you were to ever bring it up afterwards lmao. Although he ain’t the best with words, he’d always try motivating and cheering you on because he damn well knows just how excruciating it can be to be your own, worst nemesis and criticize yourself no matter what you do. PDA (or most petnames tbh he’s a “darling” or “dear” kinda man and ONLY in private) is not his thing a t a l l and he’d rather cuddle up with you on the couch in the evenings after a long, tiresome day, and oh lord lemme just tell you he is VERY fond of your chaotic nature; kudos to you for being one of the absolute few people that he’d ever shown his true, actual laugh to. Overall, 11/10 match B Y E.

[burlybanner]

Syzygy

Notes: New story. Will be putting it in installments, probably once/week. This is more or less to keep me honest with writing it. If I don’t, I won’t finish. I know me far too well. It’s a monster, probably close to NaNoWriMo levels if I’m honest. But it’s a nice monster. Note the tags.

Syzygy

Rating: M (themes/language mostly)

Pairing: Stark Spangled Banner

Special note: an AU of Infundo (post-Infundo Chronicles).

Summary:  They’d always been a triad - sun and moon, encircling a heavenly body...

***

The question was so out of the blue, so perplexing, so - fuck no, he must be losing his hearing - insane that Tony dropped the spanner. It bounced and clanged angrily across the lab's cement floor causing one bot - U - to chirp softly and pick it up. U tried returning it to its creator by repeating bumping against his leg, but Tony focused on one thing right now. One person.

"Run that by me again?"

"You heard me." Bruce Banner stared at an oil smudge between their feet. It was twisted in an odd shape, reminiscent of pancake-shaped licorice. "I don't think I need to repeat myself."

"Oh hell, no. No." Tony yanked the spanner from U's grip and tapped his shoulder with it while pacing the floor. "You don't drop a bombshell like that without giving a guy a hint. What brought this on?"

"Honestly?"

"Yeah, honestly."

"It looks comfortably soothing, I’m tired of running, I like who I am...and." He bit down his response, holding it between his teeth, but Tony could see Bruce mentally shifting gears - frustratingly choosing to conceal a portion of truth. A skill Bruce was, unfortunately, still good at doing.

Bruce sighed. "Maybe I'm warming up to full-on pampering from you and Steve. Do I really need to explain myself?"

"All right, fine. I...get it. Sort of." Tony paused mid-pace and gave Bruce the side-eye, but not without sauntering over to his extremely significant other while poking him in his gut (and Tony's finger sunk in a good five inches, before Bruce swatted his hand away).

Like diving into fresh dough, Tony thought wickedly.  

“Stop that.”

"Whatever. I'm just saying, you're what. Three-sixty? Three-seventy?"

"Three-ninety."

Tony tutted his tongue against his teeth, his eyes scanning Bruce from head to toe. He'd overlooked how round and jowly Bruce's cheeks had become and how much more his heavy belly wobbled over his belt like an over-inflated water balloon.

Tony slowly scraped his lower lip with his teeth and let his libido drink in Bruce's delicious form.  His fat had dissolved all his chiseled edges, smoothing them like candle wax, dimpling him in places Tony never expected to notice. Arms, legs, face, chin, chest, neck - even elbows and fingers Pillsburied up into scrumptious fat. Bruce'd blown up like a county fair attraction and Tony couldn't tell where he'd even put on the extra twenty; Bruce’s fat had settled into all his body’s spare nooks and crannies. All that lovely jiggling Jell-o. Waiting for touches, prods, tickles, and gropes—

"Earth to Tony," Bruce muttered, snapping his fingers in Tony's slackened face.

Tony snorted, pretending Bruce hadn't mesmerized him and turned him so the fuck on. Was he becoming more like Cap these days? Wouldn't doubt it. "ANY-hoo," Tony said, grabbing a rolling chair. He took inventory of Bruce more thoroughly by rolling around the scientist, taking a good 360-look while Bruce stared at his circular pattern.

"Are you trying to orbit me?"

Tony laughed. "No. Although that could be an experiment for another day." Tony poked and prodded Bruce’s flab, freely grabbing fistfuls of his favorite butterball and fluffing his ample butt cheeks.

"Tony," Bruce cautioned.

"Sorry. Couldn't resist."

"What are you plotting?"

"Me, plotting? Perish the thought. I'm planning, Banner. I have ideas, I have a million ideas. But we're gonna have to get Cap involved. He'll want to know."

Bruce fidgeted somewhat, which surprised Tony. Didn't seem like something Bruce would be shy about.

"So soon?"

"Well, yah, the sooner the better." Tony narrowed his eyes at him. "What's bugging you, Care Bear?"

"Nothing," Bruce said, but Tony didn't believe him. He let it slide as he rolled back to his desk.

" 'Nothing' for now, babe, but I'll challenge that declaration later." He did a quick calculation in his head and pulled up Jarvis' keyboard. "J, open a new file for me. Call it, 'Operation Supermax.' "

"Seriously?"

"Don't mock the name, Brucie Bear. It's not like I had time to come up with something better."

"New file created," Jarvis intoned, flooding the room with his soothing AI voice. "Would you like to add to it now, sir?"

Tony grinned at Bruce. "Scan Brucie for me, Jarvis. Put all his current vitals in there. Show us what we're working with."

Jarvis threw up a 3D image of Bruce‘s body and stats. “I will say, I'm quite curious, sirs."

"So‘re we, J. Especially interested in what'll happen after we tell Cap."

Bruce looked less enthused at telling Steve, but whatever. Steve was their partner; not telling him would be ridiculous. "Sure you don't wanna say why you're lookin' grim?"

"I'm not grim," Bruce stated, and Tony waggled his finger at Bruce's lie.

"Not my monkeys, not my circus. But you know Steve'll get it out of you if I can't, Pooh."

"I know."

"Easier to rip off the band-aid."

"I said I knew, didn't I?"

"Fine, fine." Tony toggled a few buttons on his keyboard. "J, call Steve down. We're gonna have a family meeting."

**

But Steve relayed a message through Jarvis saying he'd meet up after he'd finished his workout.  Bruce had grabbed five pounds' worth of snacks and wanted to wait for Steve in the media room, but Tony cajoled and wheedled him until he caved. Which was why he ended up joining Tony in the exercise room instead, ogling Steve's lifting routine.  Well, “cajoling and wheedling” wasn’t exactly right, to be fair. Watching Steve work out was a damn privilege.

"I feel like a stalker," Bruce muttered, unwrapping one of his remaining chocolate bars. He wasn't not staring, though.

"He probably knows we're here. He says he doesn't, but I think he does. I'm just obeyin' my thirst."

"Quit watching those dumb commercials." Bruce scarfed down his jumbo Snickers bar with two or three grateful grunts and gulped down his soda. And no, Bruce's Adam's Apple bobbing so deliciously up and down did not mesmerize Tony. Certainly not.

Nope.

"Mmf--and/or, get off social media. Sounds like you’re trying too hard to fit in with the cool kids."

"Heh. You can't tell me Steve doesn't like teasing us right back." Tony pointed his chin at Steve powerlifting weights rivaling Thor's class. "Look at 'im, you can't tell me he's not a thirst trap."

Bruce made a face as he tossed his wrapper and soda can in the trash. "Definitely too much social media."

Tony's eye lingered over Bruce's dwindling dragon hoard of snacks, which teased a lecherous smile from his lips. "You startin' early, or what?"

"Gotta keep up my strength."

"Mhm." Tony went into his head, thinking about how Steve'd go bonkers. In a good way. Probably in a good way. "You know Steve'll have his own ideas. You gonna let him go hog wild?"

"Oh, hardy-har." Bruce tore into a packet of mini donuts. "Yeah, okay, fine," he grunted. A smattering of donut crumbs sprayed from his full mouth before he put a hand to his lips to stop them. "You figured out why I'm apprehensive. Don't rub it in."

"I'm not tryin' to, Brucie. In fact, I think you're blowing this up way out of proportion." And don't think Tony didn't recognize the pun, even if Bruce didn't. He casually watched Bruce scrape crumbs from his shirt. "Don't you think he cares enough that h--"

"Oh, hey, fellas!"

Steve finally noticed them salivating in front of the spy window. Which was what Tony called it. Really, it was a breezeway with a window to the exercise rooms so folks could check for occupied training floors. But Tony mostly used it to indulge his naturally nosy nature.

Steve grabbed a fresh towel and wrapped it around his neck while Tony bit his tongue. Making lewd comments was tempting and although Steve wouldn't have minded, Bruce would get skittish if he ramped up the tension now. And if Bruce bolted, well...kinda made what he was about to do moot.

"What's up?" Steve dabbed sweat from his forehead and plunked next to Bruce on the thirst trap bench. His cheeks reddened when he noticed the mound of opened goodies. "Is it an emergency? Fury call us in?"

"Oh, nothing like that," Tony said. He propped his feet beneath the breezeway window. "Bruce has something he wants to say."

Bruce wiped powdered sugar off his lips while swallowing thickly. "Well, not...exactly."

"Yeah, ya do, exactly," Tony said, nudging Bruce's shoulder. "Boy Scout," he said, calling to Steve. "D'you think you could steel yourself enough to not act like a kid in a candy store?"

"Tony..."

"Bruce, hon', it's all good. Steve," he started again. Poor guy already looked five kinds of confused. "It's something that'll affect the three of us but unless Bruce explains with his big boy words I'm not gonna help him."

"Traitor," Bruce huffed.

"Only way to kick you out of the nest."

"What," Steve said, finally getting a word in edgewise, "the hell. Are you two talking about?"

Bruce shot Tony a narrow look before turning to Steve. "It's...it's not enough," he began slowly. "I-I mean, we're fine," he stuttered, gesturing to each of them. "We're great. But I want. I want more. And I'm not sure how you'll take it."

"Just know," Tony interrupted, "I'm on board 100% if you are. But I'm looking at this from a scientific perspective more than--"

"I thought you said I should tell him."

"Well, you're taking too long, Banner. Cut to the chase!"

Steve held up a hand, motioning both to shut their traps. "Thank you," he said once they quieted. "Now. Bruce. Muffin." He stroked Bruce's chubby cheek and Bruce melted like butter in his hand. "Gimme the specifics. Let me decide if I'll be okay or not with whatever it is."

But Tony could see the small trembling smile on Cap's features; Steve was noticeably scared. He made a face, hoping Bruce hurried it up before causing irreparable damage.

"I want," Bruce sighed heavily. His glance went back and forth at the men in his life, then to his hands. "I'm not exactly happy at my current weight."

Steve's lips thinned. He looked like someone had taken his favorite toy away, but the expression fled before Bruce caught it.

Tony noticed, though.

"So you want to lose weight," Steve sighed. He kept his voice level but Tony detected his disappointment. "Well, I understand. It's not like we expected it forever and--"

"No," Bruce interrupted, quieter than before. He wrapped his hand around Steve's, stilling the man's jitters. "You've misunderstood. It's...ah. It's the opposite."

Steve's cheeks flared while Tony choked back laughter from Steve's startled expression.

"W-what? You wanna gain more?"

Bruce slowly nodded. "I know you've always been encouraging, and you seemed satisfied when I tapered off. But I really like it when you and Tony feed me." Bruce reached for Tony's hand and rubbed his thumb across their knuckles. "I like breakfasts in bed, lazy nights watching B movies, and eating crappy takeout. I like feeling overstuffed, and the headiness the feeling brings me. I think I've gotten as large as I can on my own. So I'll need help from you and Tony to get...um. Larger."

Steve visibly gulped. "Um. H...how much larger are we talkin'--?"

Bruce glanced Tony's way, and Tony encouraged him with a nod. "Um. To a point where I can  stay sedentary. I'm happy at home - I'm happy here. With us. I don't want to run anymore, and I want to feel grounded. Literally. So--"

"He wants to become immobile," Tony explained, butting in again. "Which is no mean feat, with his metabolism. Even with Bed, even with all the snacking and meals he gets, he's probably leveled off. But if we're talkin' immobility, we're probably addin' another three hundred to him, more or less."

Cap let out a shaky sigh. "Whoa..."

Tony shrugged. "Again, more or less. Depends on what 'immobile' means to a guy like Bruce. 'Course you know," Tony said, sobering. "He's wouldn't be totally immobile, not really." His dark eyes roamed Bruce, emphasizing the seriousness of his next words. "The only way that would happen is if we separated him from the Hulk."

"Which I'm not asking for," Bruce quickly piped. "That's not my goal."

"Good. 'Cause that's more than my paygrade. What'dya think, Spangles?" Tony turned to Steve. "You in, or what?"

"I...I'm not even sure." His expression remained pensive before hovering between Tony and Bruce. "I think I want to understand what that means before I agree to it. It'll change our 'rules,' our dynamics, the team--"

"Absolutely," Bruce agreed. "But I guess...I'd like to retire, if that's okay. From the team. I've already spoken with the university--"

"What?"

"You have?"

Bruce motioned for his boyfriends to calm down.  "I'm not giving up teaching, I'm just switching to an online format. I'll still be an adjunct but I won't teach in person or in front of a classroom. And besides..." He sighed, but a small smile teased his lips. "I won't be mobile enough for a classroom. At least that's what I'm hoping."

Tony shared a look with Steve who looked both mesmerized and stunned. But then Tony noticed something else a sly, (dare he say it), evil mastermind grin on Steve's face rivaling their greatest enemies.

"Steve. Your bad boy expression is showing," Tony muttered.

"I know, I know," Steve breathed. "But I kinda I wanna know how soon we can start."

Part two: https://burlybanner.tumblr.com/post/185854349769/syzygy-2

[torn-and-frayed]

Taking Requests - Kinda.

Alright, so in the interest of trying to poke my brain back into a working mode, I’ve decided to take some requests with some caveats and stuff attached that I’m about to discuss. As always, I may write yours, I may not, I may not write any. It just depends on whether or not inspiration hits and if my brain cooperates and gets words on a page. I went through and deleted all the old requests from my inbox, so I’m starting out fresh. 

As always, I only write Dean and Jensen x Readers, no sis/daughter fics, no smut although I’ll imply it. I also might not say no to trying Jenneel x Reader...maybe. It scares the hell out of me but I might be persuaded. 

Please send me any requests in an ASK only so I can have them all in one place. No messages no replies. Those will be deleted.

Everything else you need to know will be below the cut, cuz I’m including a list of prompts that’s gonna get incredibly lengthy. 

1. I have several Bingo cards. If you have any ideas you’d like to see me write for these, feel free to send them my way. Make sure they’re fairly specific though. I’m including my unfinished AU bingo card in here too even though the deadline passed because, why not, right? 

2. Send me a drabble prompt from this enormous list that I’ve compiled from various lists from @prompt-bank. Don’t send more than 3 prompts for 1 drabble. 

“The skirt is supposed to be this short.”

“How long have you been standing there?”

“I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid.”

“Who gave you that black eye?”

“You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”

“I just like proving you wrong.”

“Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”

“Forget it. You fucking suck.”

“Quit it or I’ll bite.”

“If you use up all the hot water again, I swear to god! You’re on the couch for a month!!”

“If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“Looks like we’re gonna be stuck here for a while.”

“Take. It. Off.”

“Well, you’re coming home with me whether you like it or not.”

“I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.”

“Stop it! It tickles!”

“It’s okay to cry…”

“And that’s how you ruin a life. Congratulations.”

“D..did you just make that noise?”

“He’s a bad kisser.”

“You can scream if you want.”

“I didn’t know we were keeping track.”

“We’re playing checkers. If you don’t like it, leave.”

“One of them’s missing.”

“Save some for me.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“You’re still mad?”

“Come over here and make me.”

“You better watch yourself.”

“Eat your lunch and you wouldn’t be hungry.”

“Why did we have to have kids?”

“Call on Line 1”

“He creeped me out. I’m not gonna lie.”

“I’m done! You can fix it!”

“Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?”

“Where did he go?”

“You leave whenever you feel like it.”

“I forgot I was a single parent.”

“Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”

“You’re going out dressed like that?”

“For the hundredth time, I’m not your babysitter.”  

“Frost the damn cupcakes.”

“Well that’s the second biggest news I’ve heard all day.”

“You look pretty hot in plaid.”  

“I thought you were dead!”

“I thought it was a one-night-stand…and now we’re married…”

“We’ve become the clingy couple that you used to complain about.”

“Quit touching me. Your feet are cold.”

“You know you want it, sweetheart.”

“I’m your husband. It’s my job.”  

“You just wanted them because the light up.”

“That wasn’t very subtle.”

“He thinks he’s a mind reader.”  

“It’s just you and me tonight. I was thinking we could have a little fun.”

“I don’t do hugs.”

“Don’t talk anymore.”

“I’m just a guy with a wife, two kids, and a Harley.”

“How do I even put up with you?”

“I said get rid of it.”

“They didn’t just find out. They already knew!”

“You’re not as quiet as you think you are.”

“Can you just man up and change his diaper?”

“Just don’t buy a goat. I don’t care what you do, just no goats.”

“I have a secret.”

“I won’t let you get hurt.”

“You’re strong, baby. You have to be.”

“He’s four years old!!”

“I’ve had enough! I want to be alone!”

“I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

“Me and the boys will handle it.”

“You’re competitive and so am I, and it’s going to lead to a fight.”

“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

“You’re a dork, just like your father.”

“Mind if I join you?”

“Daddy!”

“I lost our child.”

“That’s my shirt. So is that..wait?”

“My name isn’t Leslie…who’s Leslie?”

“There’s a surprise upstairs for you.”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“I’m not your boss? Well then who is?”

“You can’t eat solids, only liquids until Thursday.”

“Come on, baby, up to bed.”

“They got you a present. Isn’t it sweet?”

“Am I scaring you?”

“Run! You said you’d work out with me!”

“After everything…I’d still choose you.”

“And when did you plan on telling me about this?”

“Trust me.”

“Scoot over a little bit, please.”

“You’re so clingy, I love it.”

“You didn’t just wake me up at 2am because you were ‘in the mood’.”

“Did they hurt you?”

“You’re cute when you’re all worried.”

“Stop being grumpy. It’s lame.”

“I don’t need a hero, I need a husband.”

“Don’t shut me out.”

“You got a cute butt.”

“I just got out of the shower, I can’t dance. What if my towel falls off?”

“Don’t be an asshole. Asshole.”

“Do you really think I could ever replace you?”

“Sharing is caring. Now give me your fries.”

“…or we can chill in our underwear.”

“You can’t make up for it by giving me a tic-tac.”

“Keep pedaling and don’t stop, okay?”

“You, me, popcorn, two liter Dr. Pepper, and a movie. You in?”

“Have you seen my contacts?”

“Life is a highway, and I’m always drunk. So I’m not driving.”

“Quit stalling. Where’s your father?”

“You can’t just hug me and think everything’s okay.”

“Is he coming home?”

“I prefer blondes.”

“No more dogs. How hard it it to understand?”

“I let you win.”

“I broke your nose, and I’m sorry for that. But what you’re doing isn’t fair.”

“Can I do your hair?”

“Your favorite superhero can’t be a villain.”

“I told you not to jump on the bed!”

“He’s pampering me, let him be.”

“Ready or not, here I come.”

“I’m worried about losing my job!”

“Oh, did I scare you, big boy?”

“Happy new year!”

“Quit moving, I’m trying to sleep. Wait…are you…what?!”

“You nap, I’ll stay awake.”

“It’s turbulence. It’s normal.”

“Don’t touch me. We’re fighting.”

“I’ll give you a massage.”

“You fell asleep in the tub?!”

“Are you doodling?”

“We’re not playing strip poker. I don’t care what I said when I was drunk.”

“Slushies aren’t just for kids, fuck society.”

“Are you scared…Then why won’t you look at the screen?”

“Enough with the pillow talk, I’m tired.”

“You had a nightmare, tell me what it was about so I can fix it.”

“We need groceries, not just junk food. You’re worse than the kids.”

“Is this our closet? Or your closet?”

“If I win, you do dishes for a week.”

“Fist bumps are cooler than high-fives…”

“Use your words.”

“Hold my hand so he gets jealous.”

“Ew, your hand is sweaty.”

“Get out of my face before I hit you.”

“I don’t care if your 4 or 40, you don’t hit people.”

“You only care about football, beer, and raking leaves.”

“Look! Fireflies!”

“Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”

“I just need ten minutes.”

He ruined me and now I’m nothing.

Do you want to be here? I don’t believe you!

You checked out of this relationship a long time ago.

Are you staying?

It’s the alcohol. You’re not you anymore.

I want to leave and never come back.

I don’t know what it’s like to be happy anymore.

She did this to me.

You’re nothing, but you were my everything.

It’s a two way street. It goes both ways.

They just left and now I’m all alone.

I close my eyes and see your face.

Every song reminds me of you.

I stayed up late last night thinking about what could’ve been.

Fake smiles can hide it all.

You were never there for me, it was always about  you.

I can’t hide the way I feel about you anymore.

They’re all for you until you succeed.

If you could see my thoughts, you’d be in tears.

The strongest people have the saddest stories.

It took ahold of him and he was never the same.

It was a feeling she’d never known.

I know I make you cry, but…

You don’t know what she’s like.

He’s missing out. You know that.

People thought it’d last forever.

Sometimes it’s too good to be true.

You can’t just take something like that back.

When he looked into her eyes, he saw everything he threw away.

Don’t do this to me, please, just don’t.

He’s so paranoid, I can’t do anything by myself anymore.

You can’t let him get away with it this time.

As your friend, I’m telling you what I see. It’s not healthy.

You can’t forget a love like that.

It’s never going to work if you keep walking out.

Thousands of miles and one love.

You said forever and I gave you everything.

Once your heart isn’t in it, it’s over.

The first love is the hardest to get over.

This time he thought it was real, it wasn’t the first time he was wrong.

It takes dedication. You can’t pick and choose.

She thought he’d change for her. Sometime she thinks too much.

It was never easy, but this time it was just too hard.

When addiction takes over, there’s no telling what they’ll do to you.

It’s almost like she stopped caring altogether.

Her whole life, she thought heartbreak was a myth. Truth is, it hurts more than anything.

Realization is the first step in recovery.

This was a stepping stone, but this one hurt.

One missed step and their whole world could come crashing down.

You can’t blame just one person.

It got to the point where I couldn’t even pretend to be happy.

They both found comfort in the rain.

She kept it to herself. She didn’t want him to see how much he hurt her.

He wanted to take a break, but that meant it was all over.

Trust was the one thing they needed. Trust was the first thing they lost.

You can’t fake love. When you’re in love, everything changes.

Her whole world was one big lie.

She was always on his mind while he was nowhere close to his.

As the saying goes: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

“The doctor said it’s normal” - “Well that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”

“Baby, you’re not a bother.” - “I’m too needy, you don’t deserve it.”

“Come with me to the other room.” - “We’re not going to talk about this now.”

“Did you just hiss at me?” - “Are you judging me?”

“Don’t yell at me like I’m a child!!” - “DON’T THROW SCISSORS!”

“Here, take me blanket/jacket.” - “I told you, I’m not cold.” *shivering*

“Did you hear that?” - “I’m telling you, I’m haunted.”

“I just wanted an easy day with my boyfriend/girlfriend. Is that too much to ask?”

“Why are you awake right now?”

“Come over here and make me.”

“I want my best friend back.” - “Kevin is over there.”

“H-how long have you been standing there?” - “Long enough.”

“You’re lying, you’re blushing.” - “Shut up, no I’m not!”

“No, I’m not talking to you.”

“No more!” - “Okay, fine, I won’t send you any more selfies.”

“What do you have?” - “Pizza rolls and Cup O’ Noodles…that’s about it. Popcorn?”

“The salad here is really good.” - “Do I look like a fucking rabbit?”

“Open this.” - “Can you say please?”

“I just came to say goodbye…” - “Bullshit, you just feel bad.”

“You’re on level 176.” - “Can you judge me harder?”

“Jinx, you owe me a coke.” - *can’t speak until they buy a soda*

“Please don’t leave me.” - “I don’t want to go”

“Babe, I’m sorry.” - “Suck my ass.”

“Liar, liar, pants on fire!” - “Seriously, you’re worse than a kid.”

“You can’t ride a bike?” - “Why are we whispering?”

“Is it that time of the month?” - “You literally ask me that whenever I’m mad at you!”

“We’re going downtown.” - “There’s a strip club downtown.”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.” - “Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.”

“It’s not mine, I swear.” - “How is it not fucking yours!”

“Take it off.” - “Like a bandaid?”

“I told you…” - “Yeah, yeah, yeah, quit nagging.”

“Boo?” - “You’re my boo.”

“Don’t you ever do that again! You scared the shit out of me!”

“You broke what?!?” - “Don’t worry, I’m okay.”

“Why’re you dressed like that?” - “Does that mean it looks good or should I change?”

“Fine, just do what you have to do.” - “Can you stop being so freaking cute so I can concentrate?”

“…then I picked up your coffee by mistake.” - “All I want is an apology.”

“Well, this is awkward.” - “Don’t touch me.”

“You can’t make me.” - “What are you? Five?”

“You’re a blanket hog!” - “Leave me alone and stop being so selfish.”

“It’s not fair that you’re hot and funny.” - “Look who’s talking…just kidding, your jokes suck.”

“I hate you.” - “No, you don’t.”

“Should I be worried?” - “Is the grass green?”

“You’re kidding me?!” - “Shush, my mom never taught me.”

“I’m your lock screen?!” - “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“Will you go with me?” - “As long as you hold my hand.”

“Baby, I’m scared.” - “You don’t have to be; not as long as I’m here.”

“Come inside, I’m sorry.” - “Not until you apologize.” - “I just said I’m freaking sorry.”

“Your voice is sexy.” - “Your ass is sexy.”

“If I asked, you’d say no.” - “You don’t know that.”

“Seriously, the chimney?” - “The squirrel can’t win!”

“32?” - “I’ll prove it!”

“It’s just so little and adorable.” - “That’s what she said.”

“You’re not mature enough to be a parent.” - “Try me.”

“Take a chance.” - “Umm…let me think…no.”

“Game’s over, you son of a bitch!!” - “Okay, just don’t hit me.”

“You forgot about my birthday!” - “In my defense, I forget about a lot of things.”

“You need more stamina.” - “No, I need more steak and eggs. So…get on it.”

“Can you dance with me?” - “You’re not mad?”

“I’ll smash it, I swear.” - “You smash it and we’re done.”

“Move!” - “Why would I move if I’m so comfy where I am?”

“I’m not going in.” - “Then we’re not going to get a treat after.”

“I really would’ve liked it if you told me your parents were coming to town.” - “I really would’ve liked it if you put underwear on before coming into the kitchen.”

“I found it in the recycling bin.” - “Well, you’re the one killing the environment, so who’s really in the wrong here?”

“We bet, and you lost.” - “But tattoos are permanent.”

“Can you quit being so sassy?” - “Can you quit being so controlling?”

“Are you getting jealous?” - “You’re changing your outfit, now!”

“What time is it there?” - “We’re in the same time-zone.”

“Quit flirting.” - “I didn’t mean to-”

“I just don’t know what happened.” - “You’re too good for them.”

“You have a cute nose, don’t make me break it.”

“Tell me what I can do to help.” - “Sing me to sleep.”

“You still need your baby blanket?”

“Did you black out?” - “I feel like I’m gonna puke.”

“Let’s just bury the hatchet.” - “Fuck your hatchet.”

“I bet it’s a boy.” - “I bet it’s a turtle.”

“Spare change?” - “You can’t be responsible, you don’t get your wallet.”

“Cuddle or leave.” - “So is that a no to supper?”

“Are you high?” - “I’m just so fucking tired.”

“Why did I marry you?” - “It took a lot of convincing.”

“Who’s texting you?” - “Umm. nobody.”

“You have two choices.” - “Neither of which I like…”

“I want a dog.” - “I want a cat.”

“Chinese food?” - “Do we even know what that’s made of?”

“These sheets are stained.” - “That’s disgusting.”

“You don’t know how to change a tire?” - “Give it a rest, would you?”

“That’s my ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.” - “Well, kiss me so they see.”

“We got lucky. You’re not gonna do that again, right?”

“Hey, babe, look what I found.” - “GET THAT OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW!!!”

“You’ve been replaced.” - “Alright, we’ll see how you feel when you need me to kill     a spider in the shower.”

“Are those slippers?” - “Is that you being mean? AGAIN?”

“You forgot your book.” - “No, I lost my book!”

“You’re weird.” - “Or you’re just basic.”

“We need a vacation.” - “You read my mind too much, it scares me.”

“Why’d you hug him? You love him?”

“Sorry.” - “Good choice.”

“Luck? Nope. Skills.” - “If it’s skill then do it again.”

“Why can’t you just believe me?” - “Because you lied about it before.”

“This bath is too damn hot.” - “This is why we can’t do cute things. You complain too much.”

Make Up Your Own

3. Send me a “What would happen if...?” drabble request. For example: “What would happen if Dean caught you eating his last slice of pie?”

4. Submit a GIF and I’ll try to write you a drabble based on the GIF. 

Tagging for signal boost: @impalaimagining @deanssweetheart23 @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @ruined-by-destiel @sis-tafics @supernatural-jackles @winchesters-favorite-girl @feelmyroarrrr @docharleythegeekqueen

[thirstyfortom]

Hi! Thank you for your great writtings. May I make a request for headcannons about the first official date of RFA, V, Saeran and MC? You don't have to write this if you think that it's too boring. Thank you!

It’s not boring at all! ^^

Just a little disclaimer about Saeran one: originally I wrote them going to a soccer/football stadium because it’s a very popular sport on my country, but I figured it may not be that popular in Korea,so I changed to baseball, and since I understand nothing about baseball,there may be lacking some specific terms… Anyway, I hope you like it!

RFA + Saeran and V on a first date with MC

Zen

You were practically living together, how could this feel like a first date? Well, he was an actor, he would act as it was something new…

And he wants to impress you, show you how cool and sensitive he can be

So he took you to ice skate, knowing you didn’t know how to ice skate. “Maybe you’re taking this ‘pretend it’s a first date’ too serious, Zen…” ‘Relax, babe, it’ll be fun!”

But it was kinda pathetic, he was so elegant on his moves, and you were there sliding like one of those animals that get stuck on ice and can barely stand

But to his eyes, you looked so cute trying that hard, oh… look at you going fast… wait, too fast! MC, stop!

You two ended up on the hospital and you got a cast on your leg, the good news is that it came with an exclusive autograph from a famous actor that happens to be your boyfriend.

He was feeling so guilty, what was he thinking? Worst idea for a first date! He made sure to apologize and pamper you all the time, it was impossible to keep pretending this was a first date. You reassured him you were fine and kissed him to prove it. None of you had nothing to complain about that.

You two went back to your place and you teased: “Guess we’re back to where we started, huh? Should I send you away at night because I’m worried about unleashing the beast? “Oh, come on, babe! I was just being a gentleman!”

He pouted, but inside he was relieved you weren’t mad and was still managing to keep it bright and fun.

And you didn’t want to end it. So to make it up to you, he made you hot cocoa and you cuddled on the couch binge watching “Yuri on Ice”.

Yes, he was messing with you! And you would get your revenge, let’s say you weren’t totally kidding about releasing your own beast…

Yoosung

He’s so nervous, oh god, this poor guy couldn’t even sleep the night before

What if he misunderstood and it wasn’t a real date, it was just two friends hanging out? And he would go for a kiss and you would awkwardly hug him and pat his back? Ohhh god, it would be so embarrassing! He would never be able to face you again!

He was panicking! “I can’t go! I’ll look like a fool! She’s gonna laugh at me, oh, but her laugh is so adorable… but I can’t go!” he struggled like that all night.

So when it was time for the date, he had dark circles under his eyes and he was so tired…

“Yoosung, are you okay?” you asked, worried. “Sure, MC! I’m great, even greater now that you’re here!” you blushed, and he was shrieking inside “She’s so cuuuute! And I’m pretty cool!”

You went to the movies, and then walked on the park a little, you knew he was tired, so you sat on the bench and he, of course, followed you.

You kept talking about the movie, and he felt his eyelids getting heavier and heavier till… he leaned his head on your shoulder and slept. You were shocked, this was super bold of him and… oh, nevermind, he’s just sleeping, but it’s so adorable tho

He woke up a few minutes later. “Rise and shine!” you smilled playfully, which made him get extremely flustered.

He walked you home and kept apologizing the entire time. “I’m so sorry, MC! I didn’t sleep well last night and I was so tired, but it’s nothing about you, ok? You’re amazing, and interesting and so… warm… Wait! Nevermind! Forget I even said that! I’ll… just…” you leaned to him and gave him a peck on his lips, he stood still and gave you the biggest smile you’ve ever seen right after, his cheeks were so pink.

“It’s fine, Yoosung. You’re pretty warm yourself too. So, hum… are you too tired to… I don’t know, some Netflix and chill?” “Oh! Of course not! I managed to stay awake in the movie because it was so good, I can do it again now!” Oh my god, so adorable! He thinks Netflix and chill really means Netflix and chill!

Jaehee

She wants something classy and romantic for your first date, so reservations at a fancy restaurant it is!

It was pretty crowded, which already made her feel a little anxious. But you took the receptionist’s suggestion of waiting in the bar, some drinks would loosen up both of you.

But “some drinks” quickly became “a lot of drinks”, and you never got to the restaurant, you two were blushing and giggling at the silliest things. “MC, I love how bold and adventurousoeis (she couldn’t say such a long word) you are, seriously… I feel like I could dare you to do anything and you’d do it!” “Oh yeah? Try me!” “Hmmm… call Jumin for a prank!”

And you kept daring each other to make prank calls to all RFA members, you were both laughing so hard.

She was a lightweight, you weren’t. So when she started leaning her back on the bar’s counter, you gathered what was left of your sobering and called a cab.

“Hey, MC?” “Yes, Baehee?” you two were still giggling inside the cab “Can you… can I… can you dare me to kiss you?” “Oh… I think you won’t like it if you remember this tomorrow morning…” “Let me be the judge of that.” And she kissed you, you were so thrilled and excited, it would be a shame if neither of you could remember this night.

In the morning, you got your voice mails, and your hangover immediately faded away when you heard her sober voice. “Hey, MC. How about I dare you to go on a second date with me? Let’s have dinner for real this time! Oh, and you were wrong, I remember and I really liked it…”

Jumin

You knew it would probably be something extravagant and over the top, but for a first date you wanted something… smaller.

And you told him that you were down for whatever he wanted to do, if only he could… you know, keep it simple.

So he took you to a very fancy and discreet restaurant, which sounded perfect and very like him.

But apparently he and his father shared the same taste, as Mr. Chairman walked in  the same restaurant, and he had company!  A beautiful lady who was probably your age, maybe a little older.

And this wouldn’t be a problem, but they suggested to join you and him, oh lord… kill me already but both you and Jumin were too polite to refuse.

So this became the most awkward double date ever, and it got worse when you excused yourself to go to the restroom because you needed some air, and the lady made you company “But don’t get the wrong idea, gentlemen, we’re just going to gossip and… hihihi did I say it out loud?” take it easy, gurl…

You could see she wasn’t a bad person, she was just… a little too much? And maybe she was a little high on something, but you weren’t sure. “Oh, aren’t we the luckiest gals in this restaurant? I can’t wait to be your mother-in-law, you’re so pretty and smell so good…” what… what’s going on? “Are you down for some swing? Let’s ditch the guys and have some fun ourselves…” and let father and son… wait! Why were you even trying to understand this? “Huh, I’m flattered (no, you’re not) but no, thanks.” “Your loss, babe” she took a pill and a sip of something of a canteen. Oh, so she wasn’t high before?

And if you think this was better for Jumin, since they are father and son… well, let’s say Mr. Chairman was lecturing him about the importance of protection. “Do you know if she’s taking her contraceptives appropriately?”

He excused himself and went to find you, you bumped to him halfway through the table. “Do you mind if we leave?” you asked at the same time and smiled, it was so good you were on the same page.

“How did it go with your father?” “Maybe it’s better if I don’t talk about this… what about you?” “Well… if I hadn’t known before, now I know why you should never mixture roofies with booze… and I’ll just keep at that…” Silence in the car, neither of you wanted to call it a night, you didn’t enjoy each other not even a little… “Hey, are you interested in a truly commoner’s date?”you asked “What do you have in mind?”

I mean… commoners go to decent places, but you just wanted some Burger King right now! And Jumin didn’t know how to order, it was so cute!

“I’m sorry for tonight, MC, I… wanted to be special… I’m not one to create expectations, but I was really longing for you to feel like a princess tonight” You giggled and put one of those Burger King paper crowns in your head. “I feel like a princess wherever you go with me…”

Oh god… how could you be so adorable? He couldn’t resist kissing you… and you didn’t even mind you probably tasted like processed meat, this was so perfect in a very weird way.

Saeyoung

You’ve been through so much together, would it really feel like a first date? Well, he was nervous as if it really was…

He was laughing of his own weird jokes, so you knew you had to be the calm one to keep it balanced.

But as soon as he told you what he planned for the day, you lost it! You were going to the circus!

And you’re terrified of clowns, but you managed to hide this so well that it probably didn’t even appear on his background check… fuck!

Now you were both a nervous mess, but for different reasons. You wanted to hold his hand to calm yourself down, he didn’t want to because it was all sweaty… this was going to be a long day…

At first it was fine, the magician number was pretty cool and all, and the acrobats were very impressive, you were already forgetting about the object of your worst nightmares…

And, without any warning, the clown’s number began. They should warn that they would start mingling between the audience, otherwise, you wouldn’t have freaking PUNCHED ONE OF THEM.

“Holy shit, MC!” Saeyoung was shocked and… impressed? You had a good left! He didn’t know if he should laugh, help the clown or you… who was freaking out! The show was over after, well, this little show.

“I’m so so so sorry, sir! You surprised me… with your pale make up and this weird nose, and… those freaking shoes, oh my God! Saeyoung, save me, please!” you buried your face on his chest, and he hugged you. This would be hilarious if it were someone else (cof cof Yoosung cof cof) , but since it was you, he kept serious and did his best to calm you. “There, there! Let’s get you somewhere nice… I’m really sorry,MC…” the clown didn’t say anything, he just handed a flower to you… awww… maybe they aren’t that bad.

“Honhonhon, MC, I think he liked you punched him, we have a kinky clown here…” Saeyoung whispered to you. Dude, you’re not helping…

After you left, you went to his place and you were cuddling lazily on the couch. “I’m sorry I didn’t know that you were so afraid…if I knew, I would never take you there…”he apologized again “It’s fine… I think it’s kinda nice that you don’t know everything about me after all, it will be so good trying to find out… Oh, and I’m happy the clown didn’t want to press charges for assault!”

“Yeah, I don’t know if I would be able to hold myself seeing you handcuffed…” “Saeyoung!” you blushed “What can I do, MC? I’m kinda of a kinky clown myself…”

Saeran

You’ve been trying to take him on a date for months, it was impossible!

Not that he didn’t want to, it was just… he was a freak and didn’t want to scare you. “You don’t get it! I’m just… I’ll get angry out of nowhere and people will think ‘what is that cute chick doing with that creepy dude?’ I don’t want to embarrass you and… I don’t want to lose you…” how can you run away from this adorable weirdo?

But you had an idea! “Hey, meet me tomorrow! I know a place we can go where nobody will judge you for getting angry… don’t worry, it isn’t a date! We’re just hanging out, okay?” keep lying to yourself until you believe that

He was so curious, and he looked puzzled when you took him to… a baseball stadium? What the fuck? Did you even like sports?

“MC, what the hell…?” “Don’t worry! Trust me!” and you went to your seats, he didn’t understand any of this. “Fuck… this is boring…”

“I know, right? How come they can’t score?” an old man talked to him. “I heard the hitter right there is negotiating to go play in America, he doesn’t give a shit about this championship anymore…” another guy joined the conversation, Saeran was intrigued: “Seriously? What a fucker!” “Yeah, you tell him, son! Hey, number six! You suck!” the man yelled.

“Wait, can he… do that?” Saeran asked you “I mean… cussing the guy like this?” “Well, there isn’t a rule that says you can’t…” “Really? So… hey, number six! Go fuck yourself! Have fun eating hamburgers and just get the fuck out of there, you asshole!” the guys who were talking to him before cheered him, and he was smiling, he felt like he belonged for the first time in a loooong time.

And he looked at you. You were really something, only you could come up with something like this for him, maybe you were the freak here…

“MC, what’s a kiss cam?” You were distracted with your phone, the smell of beer and testosterone was grossing you out, you only did this for him anyways… “What? Oh… it’s just a thing they do on breaks, the cameras in the stadium look for couples and put them on screen for them to kiss…” “Oh, so should we kiss?”

He pointed to the screen, and there were you two with that tacky heart frame all over you… “Oh… we don’t have to if you don’t want… it’s not a dat…” he pulled you for a kiss, you were shocked! But it felt so good…especially when his tongue slipped playfully inside your mouth… not so grossed out anymore, are you?

V

This guy…

Because he is such a gentleman, of course he let you take the lead on what you should do for your first date… oh crap!

Why is he so perfect? You had no idea what kind of date would make justice to such an adorable and sweet man.

You thought of so many things and all of them felt too pretentious, so… why not keep it simple and ask him to join you for dinner at your place? He’d bring the wine and you’d cook!

Since he can’t see, you wondered if his other senses were more intense now… maybe the taste of food could be such an amazing experience for him! So you decided to try exotic spices, you wanted to be magical for him!

And… let’s say it looked like some kind of magic trick , this handsome man was turned into a swelling red mess, his soothing voice was raspy due to his throat closing. Congratulations, MC! You gave him an allergic reaction on your first date.

You rushed to the hospital and you were so embarrassed, even when he looked fine and normal again, you kept quiet and distant, and he noticed. “What’s wrong, beautiful?”

“I’m so sorry, you have no idea how much! I completely understand if you decide to never see me again! I mean… if you never… want to hear from me again, arrrrgh! Why do I keep messing up so much with you?”

He just cupped your face with his hand and planted the most loving and sweet kiss, did you die and this was heaven? You could hear the angels singing…

“Next date, my treat, okay? But for now… let’s go back to your place, I think I want to keep tasting your flavor all night long…” when did he become so bold? Oh… who cares? Just enjoy it, you’re in for a night, girl…

[zell-dincht]

Can you tell us about your original story?? I'm sure it's A+ fantastic best-seller material pls share

YES OF COURSE so ok we all know I have my dumpster fire OC I never shut the fuck up about, but when it comes to his story, like… I have a generic outline for his backstory that can be applied to whatever setting, but I’ve never quite been able to come up with the RIGHT unique story for him.  Until…

Ok.  So.  People mentioned how he kinda looks like a Disney Prince, and I’m like, man that would be one fucked up Disney story, I wonder what it would be?  From there it kind of snowballed from a basic concept into, “Hey this is pretty great, maybe it’s something I should write.”  ….Putting it under a cut because this got a little long, oops.

(links to what i’ve written so far under the cut)

But basically, the idea started with Louis XIV, or more specifically, his brother Philippe, Duke of Orléans. In any incarnation, Lorne always has a strained relationship with his family, parents always play clear favorites with his older brother, and once he gains independence from them, claims to have no family at all.  So as a Prince, obviously his bro is the heir, and so Lorne doesn’t pose a threat to his brother’s throne, his mother basically raises him to be super feminine and encourages m/m relationships.  But Lorne is hella bi and in a forbidden, secret relationship with one of his mothers ladies in waiting.

He’s sick and tired of his mother controlling his life.  In his younger days, before he becomes so jaded, he thinks he loves this girl, believe it or not, and plans to run away with her, but… he’s been sleeping with a knight behind her back to try and use him to help his escape.  Of course she finds out and refuses to leave with Lorne, plus she feels like it’s irresponsible, she has a life in the castle, etc etc.  Yet HE is the one who feels betrayed by her and runs off with the knight on his own anyway.

But that’s just how it starts, really, I had planned that the meat of the story would be this pampered little shitlord trying to hack it out on his own among the peasants, maybe join a group of mercenaries until he feels like he doesn’t need them or the knight anymore and turns his back on THEM as well because he doesn’t want to rely on anyone.  Although he loved his pampered lifestyle, he never wanted to usurp his brother, and he really just wants to be free.

I’m thinking, though, that eventually some rebellious peasants recognize him and try to use him for some kind of revolution or coup, but he wants nothing to do with it it.  And along the way the Queen probably sends some assassins to try and take care of them, probably even hires the very knight he ran away with to try and take care of him, but idk, I’m thinking maybe the knight comes back and ends up rescuing Lorne regardless, because maybe he caught the feefees and there can be some growth and development for my shitlord in that aspect.

I actually started writing a couple chapters HERE and there’s some bonus smut to go with the first chapter HERE but it hasn’t updated in a while ‘cause I got distracted with fandom stuff, and also idk if I really ought to tackle a fantasy setting when there’s so many huge names like Tolkien, J. R. R. Martin, Robert Jordan, etc who have these massive worlds with their own nations and histories and mine is just so inadequate :(

I also had a sort of futuristic, post-apocalyptic superhero idea for Lorne too though, where he’s basically an unlicensed superhuman but uses his powers anyway to be a bounty hunter, or whatever odd jobs for money.  But he ends up doing a Good Thing somehow and accidentally gets hailed as a hero and he’s just like… ???????? But idk I think Prince story has more going for it, so I focused on that more.