#i know alycia left

[upat4amwiththemoon]

I’ve finally caught up with Fear the Walking Dead! The first two episodes of season 8 were wild haha

Anyways, I really wish Alicia and June interacted more!! I think they could’ve had a sweet relationship especially after Madison ‘died’

[helloalycia]

𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 [𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄] — 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑

summary: when Jackie surprises you with a kiss, you're excited at the possibility of what it could mean, only to discover she's got back together with her boyfriend the next day.

warning/s: implied internalised homophobia i suppose?

author's note: and here’s the third and final part - i hope you liked this one, loved writing for jackie 🥰 i have amother jackie one done and another in the works bc apparently i was super inspired recently lol, and i’ve also got some other stuff in progress. But the next thing I post is gonna be an alycia debnam carey imagine (gotta stick to my roots haha)

one / two / masterlist / wattpad

I groaned inwardly as I looked all around the darkroom, my locker and my school bag for my lens cap, but I just couldn't seem to find it. That's when I wondered if it could be in the bleachers on the soccer pitch – maybe it fell out of my pocket when I was shooting recently.

Like the lazy girl I was, I went outside with tunnel vision, immediately searching the bleachers for my lens cap, but I still couldn't find it. As I paused, looking up for a moment to think, I realised someone was on the pitch, and upon closer inspection at the waving figure, I realised it was Jackie. Huh.

When I climbed down from the bleachers, she jogged over to me with a confused expression, but smiling nonetheless.

"What are you doing here?" she asked breathlessly, a little sweaty from practice, and it was annoying because she still managed to look good.

"I lost my lens cap for my camera," I said with a sigh. "The last place I remember having it is here."

Her fingers played with her bottom lip as she glanced around. "Oh. That's annoying. Erm..."

"It's fine," I said, not wanting her to worry herself over it when it was my problem. "I'm just having a look around, but I don't think it's here. Might pick up a new one from the camera store. Anyway, what are you doing out here? Where's the team?"

At this, she rested her hands on her hips. "No practice on today, but I wanted to have some me time. Thought I'd put in some extra practice. I've finished now anyway."

I quirked a brow. "Isn't Shauna usually your lift? How you getting home?"

"Shauna is helping her parents with something," she said, before flashing me her signature smirk. "I was planning to flirt with some sophomores and get a ride."

I laughed, shaking my head. "Of course you were."

She winked playfully and, though I didn't doubt she could find some desperate sophomore to give her a ride, I couldn't just let her do that. Besides, it seemed she was getting lifts off me a lot lately, so what was one more to add to the list?

"I'm done in the dark room if you need a ride," I offered.

"Oh, I wasn't hinting at anything," she said, giving me a genuine smile, but I shook my head.

"I know, but still. I don't mind."

Appreciative, she nodded. "Thanks. Do I have time to shower?"

"You have all the time in world, darling," I said as I looked around. "I am still yet to find my lens cap."

She stifled a chuckle. "Good luck with that. I'll go clean up. Meet you at your car?"

I hummed in agreement, already mentally retracing my steps with my camera, and she left me to it. After spending half an hour more searching all around for my lens cap, I finally gave up and went to sulk in my car. It wasn't actually a big deal, especially because I could just buy a new one after dropping Jackie off, but it was the inconvenience of it all.

Not long after I got in my car, Jackie joined me, tossing her backpack in the backseat before sliding into the passenger's seat. Looking refreshed, she shot me a smile.

"So, where to?" she asked, pulling her seatbelt on.

"Your house?" I replied, thinking it was obvious.

"But I thought you wanted to get your lens cap from the store," she said with confusion. "Oh, wait, did you find it?"

As I started the car, I said, "I didn't, but it's fine. I can drop you off home."

"I don't mind going," she said, leaning her elbow on the door. "It's on the way anyway."

"You sure?"

She hummed in agreement, so I drove us straight to the camera store, knowing I wouldn't be long. Luckily, it was still open for the day, and when we headed inside, she immediately began to wander around the small store, intrigued by the cameras on display.

I began to talk to the shopkeeper about my lens size and what camera I had, hoping he had a replacement cap I could buy, and then he left to have a look in the back.

"Y/N, there's a photo booth!" Jackie suddenly called as I was waiting for the shopkeeper to return.

"Yep," I acknowledged, having seen it a million times so not sure what the hype was.

"We have to use it, c'mon!" she pleaded, already grabbing my hand.

I rolled my eyes, having gotten used to Jackie so much that I knew to just go with the flow at this point. She was grinning as she looked at the button and money slot.

"It's fifty cents," she realised, before elbowing me in the gut as she rushed to find some coins in her pocket. Eventually she pulled out a quarter and looked at me. "You got another quarter?"

"I guess? I don't–"

"Look!" she encouraged, and I grumbled to myself as I dug around in my own pocket, managing to pull out a quarter. Before I could even offer it her, she grabbed it from my hand and put both of them in the machine.

After fiddling around, a manual timer ticked to signal the first photo was going to be taken, so Jackie moved closer to me to fit in the lens.

"Smile!" she said, and I had no choice but to listen.

The photo was taken and, just as quickly, the next timer was going off.

"Funny face!" she instructed immediately, before pulling one of her own.

I rushed to stick out my tongue, managing to do bunny ears behind her head without realising, and then the final timer was ticking.

"Okay, a kiss on the cheek for the grand finale," she said with amusement, and because we'd been so rushed up until now, I didn't really think to question who was kissing who.

As the last tick went off before the photo, I turned to kiss her cheek, but she must have done the same, because for a brief moment, our lips touched and then the photo was taken. Embarrassed, I quickly pulled away, as did she.

"Sorry," we both blurted at the same time, and suddenly this photo booth felt too small.

"Y/N?" the shopkeeper called, and I was grateful for the interruption as I stepped out the photo booth and saw he was back at the counter. "Got your lens cap. This should fit like a glove."

I swallowed thickly as I approached the counter, acutely aware of Jackie stood behind me, looking as awkward as I felt. After paying the shopkeeper, the two of us left and returned to the car.

"Er, did you want the photos or–" Jackie started to ask when we got in the car, holding the strip that the machine gave her.

"It's okay, you really wanted them," I said quickly, before distracting myself with starting the car.

To say the car ride home was awkward was an understatement, even with the radio filling the silence. I wasn't sure why, since we both knew the poor attempt of a kiss was an accident, but my fear was that I'd made her feel uncomfortable. It was the last thing I'd wanted, but I couldn't bring myself to speak, and neither could she.

I barely got chance to put my parking brake on when she got out the car and avoided my eyes.

"Thanks for the ride," she muttered, before walking up the long path to her mansion of a home.

I would have left it there, but it felt wrong to, and then I noticed she'd left her backpack in the backseat, so I called her from the open window and grabbed the bag. Jumping out the car, I jogged to meet her halfway, glad she'd stopped.

"You forgot your bag," I said, holding it out to her, and she accepted it, expressionless but staring holes into my face.

Knowing I couldn't leave it like this, I started, "Jackie, what's–"

But she cut me off instantly – and to my surprise – with a kiss. I stumbled back as she grabbed my face, kissing me with such intensity that it took me a second to realise that Jackie fucking Taylor was kissing me. And she was really good at it.

I closed my eyes, reciprocating the kiss, breathing in every part of her floral perfume, tasting every bit of her strawberry lipgloss. There was a second where we paused to take in a breath, but she closed it just as quickly, desperate and sudden and surprising.

Finally she pulled back, and then as if realising what she'd done, her hands let go of my face and she avoided eye contact like I'd make her go blind.

"Thanks," she said awkwardly, before spinning around and speed walking to her front door.

"Wait, Jackie–!"

But she fumbled for her keys and was already at her front door, not bothering to turn around. I swallowed hard, my lips still tingling from the sensation of hers, and went back to my car. Did that really just happen?

All night I was thinking about it, replaying the afternoon in my mind. She'd made me question a lot about my feelings for her in the past, and at one point, I was certain I was just projecting onto her – maybe that flirting was just who she was? But no, it had to be real, because she'd just made out with me on her own accord, and I liked it. I'd liked her, sure, but she'd always been unattainable to me for obvious reasons.

Well, until now.

The next day at school, I was hoping I could talk to Jackie about everything properly, maybe get some clarification on what she was thinking. So, you can imagine my surprise when I walked past her in the hall and saw her standing with Jeff, her supposed-to-be ex-boyfriend, leaning on his shoulder as he had an arm wrapped around her.

As soon as I saw them together, my heart dropped, the surprise easily replaced by humiliation. God, how could I have ever thought Jackie Taylor and I could be a thing? Was I stupid?

Turning to walk a different way, I fought back the urge to cry, feeling used and stupid and like an absolute fool for thinking yesterday was anything special.

"Hey, Y/N, wait," Jackie suddenly called, and then she stopped before me with apologetic eyes. "I didn't–"

"So you're back with Jeff, huh?" I got straight to the point, glaring at her.

She avoided my eyes and nodded weakly.

I scoffed, feeling much better hiding behind my anger than my sadness. "Why did you even do it, Jackie? Why d'you kiss me?"

She frowned. "I don't know."

The longer she avoided my stare, the more upset I became. How dare she do all of this, make me fall for her, force herself into my life, only to throw it back in my face.

"Just wanted to test it out?" I muttered bitterly. "Kissing a girl?"

She winced. "No, it wasn't like that."

"Then what?" I asked, searching her expression for a clue, but she refused to answer, either not having the words or not wanting to upset me anymore. Too late for that. "You should figure your shit out," I said harshly. "And don't speak to me again."

Finally, she looked up, but I was already leaving, ignoring when she called my name. I should've known she'd go back to him, she always did.

Fuck Jackie Taylor.

It was impossible to avoid her and Jeff over the next few days, since they were in a lot of my classes and always on the way to my locker, but I tried my darn best to.

Unfortunately for me, I was out grocery shopping with my mum when I spotted a familiar blonde head of hair further down the aisle from us, standing with her best friend. I was hoping if we stayed put long enough, they'd just keep going and we wouldn't bump into them, but my mum, who was oblivious to our falling out, spotted Jackie instantly.

"Oh, Y/N, your friend is here," she pointed out, and before I could tell her to keep it down, she started to call out Jackie's name, earning her attention.

"Mum, no!" I whisper-shouted, but it was too late because Jackie and Shauna were already approaching us.

I considered walking away, finding somewhere else to busy myself, but my mum would have just found a reason to make it a big deal, so I stayed put and kept quiet.

"Hey, Y/M/N," Jackie greeted my mum in her usual chirpy voice, before I felt her looking at me. "Hey, Y/N."

I ignored her, suddenly interested by the handlebar of the trolley.

"Jackie, it's so great to see you again," my mum said, genuinely happy to chat with her, since the soccer player had made quite the impression on her. "And your friend, it's Shauna, right?"

"It is, it's great to meet you," Shauna greeted her kindly before shooting me a smile. "Hey, Y/N."

"Hey," I mumbled, giving her a quick smile before looking at the bananas on display.

"You know, it's a good thing I bumped into you," my mum said to them, particularly Jackie. "I wanted to thank you again for your help at the fundraiser! We raised over five thousand dollars!"

"That's amazing," Jackie said with disbelief. "I didn't know."

At this, my mum glanced at me questioningly. "Didn't you tell her, hon?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Must've forgotten."

"Oh, Y/N," my mum scolded lightheartedly as Jackie looked away uncomfortably.

She continued to talk the girls' ears off before finally realising she was holding everyone up and saying her goodbyes. Taking the trolley from me, she began to push it forward and I was about to follow, but Jackie suddenly grabbed my arm.

"Y/N–"

I pulled my arm from her grasp, not bothering to meet her gaze. "Don't you have a soccer game to practice for or something?"

She didn't reply, and I rejoined my mum's side, remaining quiet for the rest of the trip. Why couldn't Jackie just leave me alone?

I was making notes in my English workbook as the teacher continued to explain the variations and development of children's language AKA the topic of our next assignment.

"...and I think that, just like children, students like Jackie Taylor can't seem to focus when they're supposed to be," Mr. Collins suddenly said, pulling me from my focus. "Miss Taylor, is there something particularly fascinating about the back of Miss Y/L/N's head?"

A few students giggled to themselves as I flushed with embarrassment, too afraid to turn around to see what he was talking about, though it was pretty self explanatory.

Jackie cleared her throat, embarrassed. "Of course not, sir. Sorry. Continue."

"Thank you," he said sarcastically, before continuing to read through his presentation, but my face was still flaming and I was unable to focus for the rest of class now, aware of the hazel eyes staring a hole in my back.

God, she was seriously not helping with this whole getting over her thing.

About a week after the whole Jackie thing, I unfortunately couldn't seem to avoid her forever as I had to take photos at the Yellowjackets' away game. I told myself I'd just do my job and be gone to avoid any awkwardness, but of course, that couldn't happen.

The game happened to be at East Rutherford High which wasn't a big deal, but as I was setting up my camera on the side of the pitch before the game, Olivia found me.

"Y/N, hey!" she called, and I turned around before remembering she went here.

"Liv, hey," I said with a smile, before hugging her. "I totally forgot you go here. Big soccer fan?"

She chuckled. "Not really. But my friends are so I said I'd come watch. Don't know why we bother though, the Yellowjackets always kick our arses."

I tried not to laugh because it was true. "Way to support your team."

"As a school, we've kind of accepted our defeat," she joked, before nodding to my camera. "You're taking photos for the paper, right?"

I nodded, letting my camera hang from my neck. "That's right."

"Your photos are always so good," she complimented, and I was surprised she'd seen them, so she clarified, "Sometimes our school paper look at examples of nearby schools and whenever they show us yours, I always see your photographs."

I smiled with embarrassment, though touched that she'd noticed. "Thanks, Liv, that means a lot."

She shrugged. "Just stating the truth." She paused, glancing out at the pitch as the players started to file out. "Surprised your friend, Jackie, isn't here. Didn't think she'd like me talking to you."

At this, I grew embarrassed for a different reason. "Yeah, look, I'm sorry if she was standoffish with you last time. I didn't–"

"I'm teasing," she assured me, trying not to laugh. "But it's all good. I should go find my seat anyway."

I sighed, nodding, and she smiled sweetly at me before leaving. Rubbing my face, I tried to push any thoughts of the soccer captain out of my head, hating that she was still being mentioned even when she wasn't here.

Instead, I focused my efforts on photographing the game, actually quite enjoying that it was an evening match so the lowlight gave me something to practice with. During half time, Olivia stopped by again and I welcomed it, enjoying getting to know her a little more. She was actually really chill to hang out with, but Jackie's words were still in my head about her 'textbook flirting'. Either way, Olivia was fun.

It was a given that the Yellowjackets would win, and after the game ended and I snapped some celebratory pictures, I moved to the side of the pitch to pack up my things. Olivia approached me again and I smiled.

"Great game, huh?" she said with amusement.

"Always is when the Yellowjackets play," I said playfully, and she raised her brows with mock disbelief.

"Wow, you're already starting the soccer war? That's low, Y/N," she said, making me laugh.

"Gotta support the home team," I said with a shrug. "Especially when they're that good."

She rolled her eyes, suppressing her smile. "Yeah, yeah..." As I shouldered my camera bag, she asked, "You heading off now?"

"That's the plan," I said with a tired sigh. "Why? Aren't you?"

She locked eyes with me, smiling softly. "I was going to ask if you're free to hang right now. Could grab some food or something?"

"Oh," I said, realising she was asking me out. "I– erm–"

It sounded fun, and why couldn't I enjoy a dinner with a cute girl? Smile forming on my lips, I was about to agree, but then the devil's spawn herself decided to appear.

"There you are," Jackie said, looking to me, either oblivious to my annoyance or choosing to ignore it.

"Didn't take long," Olivia mumbled to herself, but I heard it. Clearing her throat, she said to me, "I'm gonna guess you're busy tonight?"

"Oh, there's an after game party," Jackie answered for me, making me clench my jaw. "Kind of a tradition."

Olivia forced a smile. "Right."

"I never go anyway," I said quickly, earning her attention, and receiving a glare from Jackie who I so desperately wished would leave. "I can–"

"The others are asking if you'll go tonight actually," Jackie interrupted, flashing a sickly sweet smile at me.

If looks could kill, she'd be toast right now. Who the hell did she think she was to step in right now? She'd shown me how she felt – she didn't have a right to do this.

"Never mind," Olivia said, already backing up. "Enjoy."

Losing my glare, I looked to Olivia, ready to apologise, but she'd already walked off to join her friends and I knew I'd only make it worse.

"Huh, I was right," Jackie mumbled to herself, which reminded me she was still standing there and very much the reason Olivia hated me now.

"What the hell d'you do that for?!" I shouted at her.

She raised her brows, feigning confusion. "Do what?"

I clenched my fists with frustration. "No! You don't just get to do that!"

She shook her head. "What?"

I scowled, looking between her eyes with annoyance. "Care. You led me on. Used me as– I don't even know what! Some sort of rebound? An experiment? Either way, it was horrible, and now you don't get to just come in and stop me from accepting dates. You're nothing to me, Jackie."

As I spoke, she began to frown, only serving to piss me off further. How could she act like the victim right now? I was the one who'd been played!

"I didn't use you," she said weakly, but I could only step back and fix her with a glare.

"Leave me alone," I warned her once more, not bothering to stay behind to see what she'd say.

The weekend passed and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking of Jackie the whole time. I wished I'd never found her crying after her breakup with Jeff because then I wouldn't have felt the need to check on her and she wouldn't have felt the need to be my friend. My life was a whole lot easier when she wasn't in it, and yet I still couldn't stop thinking of her. She was bad for me, so why did I still care about her?

I hadn't seen her since the game on Friday night, and despite the fact that she'd literally humiliated me, I still felt guilty for shouting at her. I wasn't someone who got angry easily, but truthfully, it wasn't anger. My heart hurt and who else to take it out on than the girl who broke it?

It was foolish of me to even feel that way, since we weren't anything. She'd never said she cared about me as more than a friend, she hadn't really done anything out of the ordinary except kiss me, which had clearly been a mistake. Her flirtatious behaviour was just typical Jackie. I knew what I was getting myself into. I guess this whole thing was my fault in a way.

Trying to take my mind off it, I stayed back after school to start putting my end of year portfolio together for photography class. I was grateful that nobody else was here, needing the quiet to simply get lost in my school work and nothing else.

I was considering some photographs on the desk when the sound of the door opening startled me. Nobody was supposed to be here, but when I turned around, my surprise faded into irritation at the sight of Jackie.

"Okay, seriously, do you need me to sing it you?" I asked with disbelief. "Write it down? Get a fucking sky writer?! Leave me alone, Jackie!"

"Wait," she said quickly, closing the door behind her and letting herself in, making me groan. "Please, I just– I have something to say."

I rolled my eyes, looking back to my photos with hopes she'd get the hint. "What? You finally figure your shit out?"

It was sarcastic, so I definitely didn't expect her to say, "Yeah. I broke up with Jeff."

My brows knitted together with confusion when I looked to her again. "You what?"

She licked her lips, grateful for the relief in tension. "After the game on Friday. I ended it."

I was certainly shocked to hear that she'd done that, but I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction. Crossing my arms, I tried to appear indifferent. "So what?"

She exhaled softly, steadily approaching me until she was stood right in front of me. Her hazel eyes, looking brown as they met mine, held my gaze with determination.

"You weren't an experiment," she said guiltily. "You weren't a rebound either. I never meant to hurt you, Y/N."

I frowned, eyes flickering between hers. Both my frustration and distress were building up because she seemed to be telling the truth, and it wasn't fair. She still did it. She broke my heart.

"Then what?" I asked, hands trembling. "How else can it seem when you–" I paused, glancing at the classroom door which was closed. Still, I lowered my voice for her sake. "When you kissed me – which, by the way, you initiated – then, before I can even discuss it with you, you get back together with your boyfriend? How?!"

She frowned, shaking her head as she looked down to her hands. "It was horrible, I know. You have to know how much I regret it."

"Gee, thanks," I said bitterly, and she was quick to look up again, worried.

"Wait, no, that's not what I meant," she explained. "I regret getting back together with Jeff, not kissing you. I– I liked that a lot." She was unusually nervous, swallowing visibly. "I like you."

My heart was confused as I studied her expression, seeing nothing but honesty.

"I should've said something," she admitted. "I didn't know that I'd fall for you, Y/N. I've never even liked a girl. Especially not one who's so sure of herself."

I scoffed, meeting her confused look with a knowing one. "Seriously? You're Jackie fucking Taylor, the most confident girl in school."

"Not always," she said with a wince. "Clearly."

I watched her, struggling to accept what she was saying.

"I understand if you hate me," she said, straightening up and meeting my gaze with a solemn one. "And I'll truly leave you alone, as you wish. Just say the word."

I pressed my lips together, seeing the serious expression on her face. I couldn't just say the word, because no matter how hard I'd tried to hate her, I just couldn't. All I'd really wanted was for her to like me, too.

She stood patiently, probably would have stood there for the rest of the day, waiting for me to speak. And I hated it because she'd hurt me deeply, but now I understood why. And even after everything, I still wanted her.

"Y/N?"

For once, I stopped overthinking and just kissed her, eyes closing when my lips met hers. She breathed out and lifted her hand to rest on my neck, pulling me closer and sending shivers down my spine at the contact. It was desperate, I was aware, but I couldn't get enough of her taste, her floral scent reminding me of last time, the adrenaline rush.

Without meaning to, her back hit her the desk behind her, but other than a brief readjustment, we continued to make out, my head spinning with thoughts of how good she felt so close to me. Stupid pretty girls and their stupid pretty faces.

We pulled apart for air, but I didn't let go of her just yet. My heart was thumping in my chest as I caught my breath, lips tingling as they craved for hers yet again.

"I really like you too," I said without thinking, eyes flickering to hers. "That's why it stung when you did what you did. Why I was so angry."

She nodded slowly in understanding. "I'm sorry."

I sighed, closing my eyes as I tried to collect my thoughts, but it was pretty damn difficult when she was still invading every sense of mine and I welcomed it.

"I don't know how I can trust you," I admitted, opening my eyes and being met with her determined expression.

"You can," she promised.

"What if you decide you don't want this anymore?" I asked, not wanting to doubt her feelings, but not prepared to start something that could end in heartbreak. "What if you think you've made a mistake? Start to miss Jeff? Then what, Jackie?"

"That won't happen," she said with certainty, thumb stroking my cheek.

"But it could."

She frowned, eyes boring into mine as if trying to make me understand. Finally, she said, "I'll spend forever proving you wrong."

I got lost in her eyes, so full of conviction that I had no choice but to believe her. Maybe some things were worth the risk. She certainly was.

"I'd love to see that," I said after a moment, an attempt at a joke.

She paused, trying to digest my words, and then she cracked a small smile.

"I forgive you," I told her. "I know how hard it can be to admit your feelings to yourself, especially for the first time."

She was hopeful, and I was suddenly overcome with an excitement because Jackie Taylor was stood in my arms, telling me she liked me, and I wasn't dreaming.

"Can I kiss you?" she asked, making me smile.

A simple nod and then she captured my bottom lip between hers, making the butterflies in my stomach flutter a storm. Unlike before, this kiss was slower than the others, more considerate, and I knew then and there that I'd never get sick of her lips.

She pulled away after leaving me breathless, her eyes half lidded when they looked from my lips to my eyes. "How was that for proving you wrong?"

I let out a breathy chuckle, admittedly a little flustered. "It's a start."

A smug smile appeared on her lips and then she was kissing me again, laughing as she did.

Lil bonus scene:

This was the least peppiest pep rally I'd ever been to, producing the worst photos I could take because everybody looked bored. As the principal made a speech about how 'good' the baseball team were doing this year, I snapped a few photos but ultimately sat bored in the front row. Everybody was much more excited for the star of the show – the Yellowjackets.

And after what felt like forever, the school band began to play their instruments and the soccer team began making their way in. Like a switch had been flipped, all the students in the bleachers stood up, cheering and applauding and celebrating their favourite sports team.

A much better subject, I began to photograph the crowd, all dressed in the bright yellow and blue school colours, waving signs and beaming with painted faces. And then my focus shifted to the team themselves, who were lining up before the crowd, grins on their faces. Despite the principal trying to calm everyone down so he could make his speech about how great they were doing, nobody would listen, still cheering on the team.

As I was snapping photos of them all, Jackie caught my eye and a playful smirk was on her lips when she winked at me. Even after the month we'd been together so far, she still left me nervous sometimes, thought I'd accepted that was what came with dating someone as self-assured as Jackie Taylor. We hadn't broadcasted our relationship by any means, but students at school weren't stupid and they were beginning to put it together. I didn't mind though, and I hoped she didn't either.

Finally, the principal managed to quieten everyone down long enough to make a speech worth listening to, expressing his pride in the Yellowjackets and wishing them luck as they prepared for the game tomorrow which would determine whether they'd make it to nationals.

After he finished, the band played them out, along with the audience's cheering, and then everybody began to leave. I was one of the last few to go, making my way out of the sports hall, only to be pulled to the side suddenly, realising Jackie had been waiting for me.

"Someone took their time," she said impatiently, crossing her arms, now wearing her varsity jacket over her soccer uniform.

"Someone was doing their job," I reminded her with a smile, wiggling my camera in the air.

At this, she quirked a brow. "You got my good side, right?"

I laughed. "Jackie Taylor doesn't have a bad side. She knows it too."

She began to smile, flicking her hair in agreement, and I rolled my eyes playfully.

"You look cute with your face paint on," I told her, referring to the little yellow jacket painted on her cheek.

"It's called school pride," she said, before giving me a disapproving look. "You didn't dress up."

"Again, I was busy photographing everything," I said, raising my camera for emphasis.

"Well, we can't have that," she said, tutting, and then she pulled off her varsity jacket and attempted to wrap it around me, but I stopped her.

"Wait," I said, realising what she was doing.

"What?"

I stared at her knowingly. "It's your jacket."

"Duh."

"Yeah," I agreed in a matter-of-fact tone, "but–"

"I'm giving it to you," she said simply, confused when I wouldn't put my arms in it as she held it open.

"You can't," I said, wondering if she was playing dumb or what.

She furrowed her brows. "What? Why?"

I amended my comment, "I mean, yeah, you can, but you know that people will put two and two together, right? You give me that and it'll be, like, an actual confirmation to everyone that we're dating."

Still, she wasn't following as she stared with raised brows. "Okay? And...?"

Now it was my turn to be confused. "You don't mind?"

Finally catching on to why I was questioning her, she relaxed and lowered the jacket momentarily. "That's sweet of you to ask, but no, I don't mind." She paused, before glancing at me worriedly. "Wait, do you?"

I sighed, before an amused smile formed on my lips. "No, I don't. I just didn't want you to feel like you had to."

Her expression softened, smile appearing on her lips and matching the sparkle in her eyes. "I want to. Now, come here."

This time, I let her help me into her jacket, immediately engulfed in her scent and warmth and not minding in the slightest. She stepped back, admiring her handiwork, eyes looking me up and down for several seconds too long and leaving me with a warm face.

"I should've given you this sooner," she said, impressed, and I rolled my eyes at her pride.

She chuckled before pulling me in for a quick kiss, and then we walked hand in hand down the hallway.

"You know that this means you have to be my number one fan now, right?" she asked, giving me a sideways glance.

I tried not to laugh as I said, "But I already supported the team–"

"No, not the team's fan," she cut me off nonchalantly, "mine. Me. Player number nine."

At her dead serious expression, I began to chuckle quietly. "Nine. My new favourite number, darling."

A smile crept on her lips. "Good."

[sassymajesty]

Alycias newest post w the black pants, white button up and vest PUHLEEEEEASE !!$&! I just pictured Clarke calling out sick and Lexa coming over w that bouquet of tulips in oifan. The way Clarke would loathe the fact that she missed seeing that outfit in action all day at work 😩🤣

[grabs your shoulders] listen to me. i've been going to sleep and waking up thinking about this for the past two days. it's gotten out of hand. [grabs your cheeks] i cannot thank you enough for this.

because consider this—

—arriving at clarke's place around 4pm (ungodly early for the hectic time they're having at the company) with a target bag and takeout

raven, who by then is working with them, gives lexa her keys and tells her to let herself in because when she left, clarke was running a fever and would never get up from bed. and lexa does just that. she's been in the apartment often enough that she beelines for clarke's bedroom and finds her financial analyst/friend with benefits (yes, just that, nothing romantic happening here, no ma'am) under three blankets, barely keeping her eyes open

"oh, you're actually sick. i could have sworn you were playing rookie."

clarke's eyes get wide open, as if she's scared her fever has made her hallucinate. "lexa?" then takes her in "you brought me flowers?"

with a solemn nod, lexa places the flowers and all her bags on a dressing table, and sits beside clarke. brushes sweaty hair out of her forehead, lets out a worried hum when she feels how warm clarke is.

"you look like a dream. i can't believe i missed all this vest action."

"it's the only reason i came by. i couldn't let this outfit go to waste." but then she's digging around clarke's closet to find fresh pajamas (she knows where they are, she's borrowed them before) "can you take a lukewarm shower by yourself? it'll help with a fever. and have you eaten at all?"

clarke says that yes, she can shower by herself, she's not a child. and yes, she has eaten... some toast raven brought her before she left. it's the way lexa purses her lips that shows she doesn't like that one bit.

lexa helps clarke get up, take the sweaty clothes off and get in the shower. then she leaves her there with the door ajar just in case, and gets fresh linen for the bed, a vase with water for the tulips that go on clarke's nightstand and cutlery for the soup she brought.

when clarke gets off and finds her with cozy fleece pajamas and wet hair, lexa makes her sit down with her legs crossed and back towards the edge of the bed so lexa can gently blow dry her hair while she eats all of her soup. "yes, all of it, clarke."

once she's all fed and has taken more meds, lexa tucks her back in with enough blankets for her to sweat the fever out, and takes her shoes off before settling beside clarke and looking at her like she'll stay there all night just to make sure clarke is okay.

"do you want to take a nap?"

"i've slept all day, i'm more awake now."

then lexa reaches into the target bag, "i've brought you this. raven mentioned you used to play video games when you were sick in college. i thought it might be the cure." and very nonchalantly hands clarke a white, red and pink box.

"you bought me a nintendo switch?" clarke is in pure disbelief as she stares at the gaming console for a solid minute before opening it

"i figured the cozy games might be some comfort. and you can play from bed. i hope the color is okay."

"you bought me a nintendo switch. the animal crossing edition."

"the guy at the store said it comes pre installed. i figured it'd be a good start as any. i'm sure there is an array of different games for download, if that's not something you'd be interested in."

clarke knows that when lexa starts being super formal, it's because she's getting more and more nervous. so clarke just boots it up and turns to give her a soft kiss on her cheek in thanks, "have you ever played animal crossing?"

"i have no idea what it is. i didn't even know what a switch was until a couple hours ago."

"then get comfortable, you're in for a long night."

and they share a pillow while clarke introduces lexa to the world of animal crossing. lexa is happy to watch clarke play, checking her fever every now and then, bringing her teas and cuddling her even with her business casual outfits.

when 8pm rolls around, lexa finally gives in and borrows a pajama set (more lightweight than clarke's) and cooks them dinner while clarke sits at the counter, still playing. they eat, clarke takes more meds, then they go back into bed. by then, clarke is exhausted again and uses the last of her energy to create a new use in the nintendo switch for lexa to play — and lexa herself has no intention of playing, but she entertains the idea for clarke's sake.

clarke falls asleep in her arms, guiding her about what controls to use. lexa doesn't try to move her, only stay there, serving as a pillow, while she checks clarke's fever with her lips on her forehead, makes sure she's warm as she can be.

it's 2pm when clarke wakes up again, her body hurting from sleeping the whole day, but feeling good as new.

and she finds lexa fast asleep, with the console on her hand, halfway through hopping islands to find a new villager. she pulls lexa closer to her, enjoying the warmth and the way lexa reaches for her even in her sleep.

tomorrow she might actually play rookie and talk her boss into doing the same so they can spend another day playing video games in bed.

[sadaveniren]

You've been here for years, you know very well that her being engaged doesn't stop anything at all. She is responding to his sister, she is getting involved, this is not as simple as you are saying it is

Where’s the Alycia stunt everyone was saying was coming last year because Louis was “liking posts”? The stunt I said wasn’t going to happen, mind you.

Where’s the continued stunt with the Swedish girl everyone was convinced was going to be A Thing while I was sitting here like “lol flash in the pan”?

Literally not everything happening with people adjacent to Louis is about Louis.

If she comes back weird choice, and I guess I was wrong, but I’ve been here for ages, like you said, so I remember that Douis was a fucking shit show for her. All she got out of it was getting Instagram verified, an incest photoshoot with her brother, mocked by fans for everything from her shoes to how she posed in weekly pap pics, ignored at a football game she skipped actual work for, and watching over some kids she didn’t really know until that year while their mother battled cancer. She literally left the first chance she could. Danielle Campbell - who again, is engaged - is not someone who should be on fandom’s radar.

Sometimes a cigar is just a fucking cigar people.

[butmakeitgayblog]

Hey! I’m on my like 5th rewatch of The 100 and I’ve only just now seen this review on IMDb. I’ve been following your blog for a while now and keeping up with ADC. I was wondering if you know anything about this? I tried looking it up but nothing popped up. Granted I didn’t search too hard lol. But I just thought these claims were so wild. Did they mix her up with another actor? I’m just so ??????

Lol no

Not even once 😂

I do remember after the accusations from Bob's ex came out you had a few accounts accusing E&B of diva behavior - including one in which it said that Bob got physical with a crew member and that was why he was ultimately written off - but emotions were high at the time so no one ever really knes if that was fact or just bs smearing. But Alycia? Nope, not once.

No tbh this whole thing reads very oddly to me because all I've ever heard is that she's quite pleasent to work with actually. First of all, Alycia didn't "start in Vancouver and switch to LA". She was LA based since she moved to the US. So idek what this person is trying for there, but it doesn't even make sense. Second, if this person has such a wealth of insider knowledge, then they'd know this wasn't her first project in North America. Two seconds of research would show that (they said they "found out" it was her first acting job, so according to their own words they looked into it??? And still got it wrong???) She'd done a several things before the1oo, including tv work in Australia, a whole ass studio produced movie, and an indie movie over here.

Third? I mean if you follow her, you see she is often in pics with crew members and even follows a few on IG, as well as fellow cast members talking pretty regularly about how sweet she is and about times when they hang out outside of filming. Also iirc when she was directing her her episode of FTWD didn't she even get a... was it shaved iced, or like a coconut water thing? Some kind of frozen treat stand thing, for the entire cast and crew.

That doesn't exactly sound like a tendency toward tyrant, diva behavior.

But truthfully, the thing that jumps out at me the most tho is the Zionist comment. This comment was supposedly left back in 2021, right? Except... Zionist was not a widely known or used term at that time. For clarity, I'm not saying Zionism or the term Zionist didn't exist in 2021, I'm saying it wasn't a term the general public at large really knew or used often, nor was it something that ever readily came up in any sort of criticisms of actors, much less IMDB reviews 🤨.

So like... how and why would that have even come up at that time of leaving this review? In 2021?

Unless, of course, this person went back and edited an old review they'd left. Now that would make a lot more sense. Almost as if maybe possibly perhaps, they became angry with her for something else, and came back and changed their review to a scathing bomb. It's just a theory, I have no way of knowing if that's true or not, but it makes a bit more sense considering I've never heard such a thing about her - not on the 1oo nor any other projects.

[nataliescatorccio]

how the hell did my dumb little blog get here? i never once thought that so many people would be interested in my hyperfixations and photoshop experiments, but here we are! to hit 22k in ‘22 is a pretty cool achievement, so thank you so much. thanks for everyone who has stuck with my blog, everyone who has seen it and decided to hit that follow button, everyone who has supported my gifs and everyone who has ever left a kind word in my tags or inbox - you have no idea how you have brightened up my days.

a follower celebration is long overdue (i had one planned at 20k and procrastinated so, well, here we are)! so how do i celebrate? i feel if i have a 'brand' for anything on this site it’s colours, so i have decided to do a little colour palette meme. if you’d like to participate then:

> chose a colour palette from this site (you can create your own or use a premade one!), you can use its name or just send a direct link > send it to me with a character, dynamic or show of your choice and i will make a set within that colour scheme > please only ask for things i blog about (you can use the search function on my blog to look for it!), i’m afraid if i have not seen the show or do not like the character/ship i will not create for it - but hopefully you’re following me for something already! > this is limited to just my followers as it is celebrating the wonderful people who have chosen to follow my blog

i also wanted to take the time to give a shoutout to all the people who make me scroll through my dash endlessly and produce content that never fails to make me gasp! honestly once i follow you, you’re pretty much stuck with me forever, but here’s to some of my favourites! you’re all incredibly talented and kind people and it’s my honour to be following you. i’m also incredibly paranoid that i have missed people so please know that if i follow you and you’re not on this list i love you, i just have a memory like a sieve! and without further ado, follow forever under the cut:

a-d

@aemondtargaryenn @aemondtargaryenss @ahsokatonas @akenoz @alina-aleksanders @alina-starksov @allsonargent @alycia-careys @amyjake @anakin-skywalker​ @anissagraces @anya-chalotra @anyataylorjoy @arthurpendragonns @aryastaark @avasillva @bethschapel @beth-cassidy​ @benjaminbarnes​ @bladesrunner​ @candicepatton​ @capinejghafa @captainheroism @castlesrichards​ @c-evans​ @cherylblossom​ @chikoriita​ @christophernolan @clarke-griffin @daniellecampbell @darcyscarden @doramilaje​ @diegoshargreevs​ 

e-h

@emmaduerrewatson​ @enidsinclaiir​ @enidsniclair @eyklarsen​ @fiveviktorklaus @forbescaroline @freddycarterz @fredy-carter @greensaplinggrace @gr-ogu @hargreevcs @harrenhals ​@harwinstrng @hermionegrangers​ @hoechloin​ @hollywoods @hope-mikaelson @howlscastle @hunterschafer 

i-l

@iinejs @inej-ghafa @iridescentides @iwillneverletgoipromise @ivashkovadrian​ @jakeyp​ @jemmasimmons @jordan-parrish @kallorys @katherineebishop @kamalaskhans​ @karolinadean​ @katmcnamara @ladystarks @lamberts @laylakeating​ @lucrezia-borgia 

m-p

@magnusedom @mcbride @meliorn @montygreen @midnightsdlx @natalia-dyer @nick-nelson​ @nobodynocrime @number5theboy @orangesyellow @padme-amidala​ @petersevan​ @phoebeswallerbridge @pugsleys

q-t

@queenage @queencalanthes​ @quellcrist @rambeaus @redbelles @reputation @richiebowen​ @ronnieandrews​ @sci-fi @scinnlaece @seance @shegos @sheistolerable​ @shinylightblue​ @something-more @soniabragas​ @sylvielauffeydottir @taliasburns @timothyolyphant @time-turner​ @theheavycrown @thematrixs @tylerposey​ @userciri​ @userdracula​ @usertriss 

u-z

@ughmerlin @viktorhargreeves @visenyatargaryen​ @yelenafbelova @yennefer-nazyalensky​ @wakandasforever @wenclair @willsilvertongue @withered-rose-with-thorns @nina-zcnik​ @zen-coleman ​@zoya-nazyalenskys

[buffyfan145]

Another great episode with ep 4 of "The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart"!!! :D I read the book and we got more secrets revealed in this episodes and it was Alycia Debnam Carey's debut as adult Alice and now she's found out more of what June has been hiding from her. Will post the rest behind a cut, but this miniseries has done a great job adapting the book. Also for us Charlie Vickers fans he's credited in the episode but I never saw him in any scenes. It's possible he appeared in a quick flash, as both Alyla Browne and Tilda Cobham Hervey did as young Alice and Agnes, and I missed it. However, his character Clem's presence is felt in multiple scenes and with the introduction of 3 more characters.

This episode started with the 14 year time jump as Alice is now 24, but she's found out one of the secrets that June has been keeping and that she's been controlling Alice's life especially when it comes to any boy/man that has been interested in her. It started with her friend Oggie, who she had deported along with his mother as Alice had actually proposed to him. Felt so bad for that as Oggie was such a great friend and sweet boy and didn't deserve that. Then all of Alice's other boyfriends June sent away or paid off to leave. So now we're at the part where Alice left and went to Agnes Bluff, a national park that shares her mom's name and is now involved with two men, one who seems a nice guy Moss and the other who is a dark, mysterious man Dylan and happens to look like her father Clem.

This book does explore how a lot of women who are attracted to men unintentionally start relationships with guys like their fathers. It's starting a cycle again and I thought it was a great choice to cast an actor for Dylan who resembles Charlie Vickers, but also Moss does too when Charlie's clean shaven. So now she's involved in a love triangle.

But the biggest secret got revealed to, not to Alice but to Twig and Candy that June let Sally and John Morgan adopt Clem & Agnes's son Charlie. He's now 14 and they're a happy family and Charlie knows all about both his sisters, June, and his biological parents. He's been trying to contact Alice with Sally's help but June's forbidden it. She never even told Twig or Candy and they're shocked as they're realizing that June as has this cruel side. June tries to justify this as she thought Charlie would end up like this father but so far he's a sweet boy who has had health issues but is doing better now. And great casting here too as the boy playing Charlie looks so much like Charlie Vickers too, including having the same mole/freckle on their necks. So this caused Twig to actually leave June, even though she's sick, and Candy's thrown for a loop.

I was wondering when this was going to be revealed about June as she had been manipulating and emotionally/mentally abusing Twig, Candy, Alice, and even did to Clem and Agnes when they were children/teens. There's a lot more to be revealed too in the final 3 episodes and Charlie Vickers should be back as going by the book we have more flashbacks to come. This whole cast has been doing great and again so happy with how this has turned out so far.

[galacticwildfire]

Last of us story idea

Ellie's older sister, I'd put her at about thirty, goes with her and Joel. I was going to do an older actress for a faceclaim since I just cannot see Joel even thinking about someone under thirty like that but I just thought Alycia resembles Bella and they could pass as sisters. I've always wanted to write something set in an apocalypse due to my love for the genre.

Here's an excerpt I just wrote out as an idea

"You like him," Ellie says.

"What?" I laugh, genuinely caught off guard as I turn back to her.

"You have a crush," she teases and I already know she's going to be relentless. "On a guy old enough to be a grandpa."

"Okay shut up," I say, throwing a shirt at her. "His girlfriend literally just died."

"I don't know, it didn't seem like he would call her that," she says and I look away remembering Tess's last words to him, whatever she felt for him was unrequited, or at least not returned in the way she wanted. I have no plans to fall into the same trap.

"Yeah and I'm not going to put myself in the same position," I tell her. "You don't know how lucky we've gotten with him, he hasn't tried to assault us or sell us to people who would. He actually seems like he's more than decent and could actually be a good guy, but don't get attached Ellie."

"Me?" she asks. "Why would I get attached?"

"You never had a father, and something tells me he's a father without a daughter," I tell her honestly. "He's taking us somewhere and that's it, end of the road, and if he doesn't make it there I don't want you getting upset."

But of course she turns it back on me. "Are you telling yourself that or just me?"

And so I decide to be honest "I don't need to tell myself not to get attached, I've learned the hard way."

"So have I!" she suddenly snaps at me and I see the tears in her eyes. 

"I know," I say quietly, knowing what Riley was to her. "I know El, I'm sorry."

It's then there's a knock on the door. "Everything okay in there?"

He must have heard Ellie yelling. "Yeah, everything's fine. We'll be out in a minute."

I wait until I hear him walk away from the door before telling Ellie. "I know you loved her, and I saw the pain losing her's caused you. I just don't want you to have to go through losing someone again."

"And what about you?" she asks, not giving up until I admit it. "I'm not the one who's afraid of getting hurt, you are."

"Maybe I am," I tell her. "Maybe I actually like him, but I'm an adult El and crushes are for children. There's no room left in this shithole of a world for things like that and I think he knows that too."

"Still," she shrugs. "It wouldn't kill you to get some."

"Shut up," I laugh slapping her arm. "You keep talking like that and I'm going to just leave you and drive away one of these days."

"Nah," she says. "You'd miss me too much."

[poetrysings]

— whoa! ALEXANDER WARREN just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for ON-AND-OFF FOURTEEN YEARS, working as an AUTHOR. that can’t be easy, especially at only 33 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit OBSTINATE and SECRETIVE, but I know them to be DUTIFUL and CARING. whatever. I guess I’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to BROOKLYN! —

spotify pinterest musings visage connections

BASICS

full name: noah alexander warren

nickname: alex

age/date of birth: 33 / may 8th, 1990

zodiac sign: taurus ☼ libra ☾ cancer ↑

gender identity: cis man (he/him)

hometown: hermosa beach, california

current location: brooklyn, new york

time in town: fourteen years

sexual orientation: demisexual

occupation: writer, former fbi agent

PERSONALITY

labels: the phoenix, the benefactor, the mediator

positive traits: gentle , reliable , caring , trustworthy , allocentric , dutiful

negative traits: obstinate , reticent , stubborn , secretive , deceitful

hobbies: cooking, reading, musical theatre, camping, sports, volunteering

languages spoken: english, french, hebrew, latin

instruments played: guitar, piano

favorite color: blue, red, green

favorite food: anything, but specially pies (he has memories attached to pies)

allergies: n/a

APPEARANCE

height: 5'9

distinguished characteristics: multiple scars throughout his body; a blink and you'll miss it type of situation. some are from childhood and barely noticeable if you look closely whilst the most prominent ones are around 4 years old, situated in his ribs. there is no itemized list yet, but it is something he is acutely aware of.

tattoos: a phoenix on his back, a minimalist tattoo from the song ‘from eden’ by hozier where the word idealism sits in a small prison and it’s located on his left ribcage, the date of his mom’s passing and his sibling’s disappearance on his chest, the phrase ‘when i was drowning, that’s where i could finally breathe’ on his right forearm. ( ref )

piercings: n/a

right or left-handed?: right-handed

RELATIONSHIPS

parents: robert warren (whereabouts unknown), alycia warren (nee: weiss, deceased)

sibling(s): a younger siblng (whereabouts unknown), possibly half siblings

pet(s): a four year old labradoodle named pollux

BULLET POINTS

tw: drug use, abuse, death mention

alycia grew up dreaming of becoming two things: a successful ballerina and the loving mother she herself never had. she worked day and night, running herself thin for years until she made it to the nyc ballet company as their prima ballerina at the impressive age of 24. it was that candor, passion and grace she exuded while on the stage that caught the attention of a young robert warren who, by some magnificent miracle happened to be on the crowd for alycia's very second presentation on stage. he decided to introduce himself and they hit it off right away, went out for a drink and nine months on the dot, alexander warren was born on hermosa beach, robert's hometown.

alex grew up in a broken household with a negligent, abusive, narcissistic father and a loving and caring but mentally ill mother who had sadly been drawn to the world of drug addiction by her very own husband, who made a living out of not only dealing but fabricating said drugs. it became obvious to alex at a very young age that he was on his own. despite all that, he had a pretty normal childhood (as normal as one can be with a parent who half of the time isn't there and whenever he is around, leaves you wishing he wasn't) up until he turned 6 and his younger sibling was born. alex adored him the moment he met him and bowed to protect him at all costs, the two became inseparable.

as years went by, issues within the warren household grew more evident and worrisome. alycia was at wit ends and robert only grew angrier to the point where neighbors, friends and teachers got involved and called the police. many times social services were called to make an investigation yet, nothing was ever found until one fateful day when alex was twelve and at school. child services came to visit and found alex' little sibling alone at home, playing with his father's tools. he was immediately taken away and they promised to be back for alexander however when they did, it was far too late. robert had cowardly ran away by himself the night before and alycia, scared they would take away her remaining child moved herself and alexander to san francisco

the two remaining members of the once warren family resided in san francisco for 4 years, alycia going as far as to starting up a plan to stay sober and take care of her kid and she could've sworn they would make it. things were starting to look up for the two of them until the day robert warren showed up to their home again, begging for their forgiveness and claiming he was ill. of course the two of them took him in and aided him best they could, at least until alex found the real reason he had come was because he needed money because he was being followed. alex kicked him out of the property after a huge fight for putting him and alycia in risk however it was far too late, the people looking for robert had already figured out where he had gone and one day, while alex was out at a party, someone came in and tried to take justice by their own hands, robing them and killing alycia who was simply waiting for her son to return home. alex spiraled for months on end, nowhere to go and completely alone in the world. after those months, alex dedicated the remaining time in high school picking himself back up, swearing he'd become someone his mother would be proud of

upon high school graduation, alex moved to new york when he was accepted into nyu's criminal justice program and once he graduated, he did his PhD program in liberty university while doing the trainee program for the fbi in quantico, ultimately becoming an agent at 25 and moved back to nyc when he was assigned. for two years he worked tirelessly to be the best in his division, going as far as being told if he remained in the same path as he was, he'd become a director of his division at age 30, even though he dreaded every moment spent working. even when he hated his job, he simply couldn't stop until, two years in he suffered an accident that nearly costed his life. it truly put his life into perspective; how much he had given a career he truly despised and quit there and then. alex then started writing about the adventures he had had as a federal agent and his then fiance convinced him to turn his stories into a full book, which he did.

the end of his relationship came with the success of his very first novel and a deal for 2 more books and the possibility of turning his book into a movie or a tv show. he is currently working on his third thriller novel after publishing his second book, which became an even wider success than the first on the trilogy.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

PEACE . ( plat? could be rom / any gender )

relationships are as complex as human beings. we are volatile, coarse by nature; and things only get harsher when emotional baggage/mental health issues are carried and tossed around. it’s a russian roulette half the time, loving and carrying for those around you, but oh how worth it it is when you can find someone who understands you even without speaking, someone who knows you and your inner demons and still sticks by your side. although nothing is perfect and there will never be peace, you can keep eachother warm.

I’LL BE THERE FOR YOU  . ( plat / any gender )

the cory to his shawn, the phoebe to his joey, the chandler to his joey. he is a very loving person all together and deems himself a friendly guy who cares about all the people in his life, however this person has a special place in his heart. they are his go-to whenever something goes wrong and they need help, they are one of those people he’d do anything for and, most importantly, they are one of the few people who really know him, beyond the smiles and good times. who know the darkness that lies deep within him, perhaps the person he trusts the most in the world.

EASE MY MIND / SO WILL I . ( plat / any gender )

there are people who, even without a single word, can bring light into your world by simply existing. whenever something goes wrong, when the world is about to crumble down— they become your go-to, the one safe place that can ease your soul in the darkest hour and you can only hope that you can do the very same for them.

WORSHIP   . ( rom / any gender )

being a hopeless romantic entails many things. shared with an overachiever personality and a passionate soul whose sole existance revolves around making other’s happy— and you get yourself a giver. conventional relationships are not something you can handle, for one reason or another. doesn’t mean that every lover is not especial and deserves to be worshipped, something you are devoted to.

GETAWAY CAR   . ( rom / any gender )

it was, in every sense of the word, a rebound. one had a broken heart after a failed engagement and the other had their reasons— but it was meant as simply that. it lasted way longer than anyone expected it to, and when it ended, it wasn’t exactly soundless. both parts knew it wouldn’t last; however they weren’t ready for how damaging the outcome would be.

KEEP DRIVING . ( plat / any gender )

’We held darkness in withheld clouds I would ask, “Should we just keep driving?”’ when things get hard, when everything is going downhill, these two simply count on eachother to get on a car and keep driving. snacks and meaningful conversations withheld at 90 miles an hour to no forseen destiny— it may be one of alex’s most honest relationships.

DAYDREAMING . ( rom / any gender )

it’s still casual and new— but it’s all he’s been daydreaming about. the night calls, the illicit visits, the joy of having something private and non-commital and the way even one message from them can turn his entire day upside down.

work friends. people in the literary world that know of him? perhaps a secret club where literary lovers gather around and exchange ideas over a few bottles of champagne and french pastries? perhaps even a few of his work?

HALF SIBLINGS (robert warren got AROUND and there is a chance he had multiple kids? who knows?)

friends FAMILY FRIENDS, BAD INFLUENCES, good influences

family, maybe? cousins?

flings, one-side crushes, flirtationships, fwb, affairs, past lovers (however the relationship ended in good terms or bad, can be discussed?) the sky is the limit

[cosmererambles]

Slowly rewriting Void Changes

Basically this story is how Wrathion and Kale get together. When I first wrote it I didn't know that Kale was actually gay; I thought he was mostly straight with some minor bisexual tendenacies, but as I continued developing thing I was like No. He's not just bi; this man is literally gay.

So I have to go back and rewrite all the shit where he loved his wife. Because Kale HATED his wife. Alycia was AWFUL to him and sex with her was extremely not fun; it was a chore and it only happened twice; once to provide and heir (Lucky him) and another to see if it would make her more tolerable. It didn't. He really wasn't a sexual man in general until he began getting to know Wrathion during the events of 8.3, when he realized that damn, this man is fucking attractive. Wrathion really does it for him; he's extremely loyal but does notice other guys now, in a "Oh yeah, I'm interested in men." sort of way. Whenever Wrathion is around though, he only has eyes for him. Hard to beat literal perfection.

Some examples below of changes

V1

"Kale lay on his back, completely winded. Every muscle, every piece of bone and sinew, was agony. Breathing was difficult. He raised a shaking hand, and noticed it jagged, cracked. Scales, glowing green with fel, permeated his once pale skin. The fingertips ended in torn claws. He let the hand fall. N’Zoth had taken back the power he’d stolen. He was a broken husk again. He tried to focus on his surroundings, but found it difficult. He was laying on sand, that was certain, but it wasn’t the hard packed sand of silithus. More dusty. Tanaris? Uldum? “To answer the question on your lips, we’re had the now abandoned ‘pleasure palace’ between Feralas and Silithus.” Oh that voice. It was everything he hated, boiled into one annoying whelpling. He sat up with difficulty. “They are called the Steam Pools.” “It makes no difference.” Wrathion sat down beside him, looking none the worse for wear. It was galling, that the young whelp was left with nothing but a scratch running down his face, but Kale could barely breathe. “You are…yourself again.” Wrathion said the words as if he wanted to laugh, but when he turned to look at Kale, there was concern in his eyes. Kale bit back a retort. “This is not me! This is what the Legion left of me after they had finished their experiments.” He spat the words, anger coursing through him. If it weren’t for the dragon next to him, it would never have happened. Azeroth would be in relative peace. N’Zoth would still imprisoned. This was all down to Wrathion."

V2 "Kale lay on his back, completely winded. Every muscle, every piece of bone and sinew, was agony. Breathing was difficult. He raised a shaking hand, and noticed it jagged, cracked. Scales, glowing green with fel, permeated his once pale skin. The fingertips ended in torn claws. He let the hand fall. N’Zoth had taken back the power he’d stolen. He was a broken husk again. He tried to focus on his surroundings, but found it difficult. He was laying on sand, that was certain, but it wasn’t the hard packed sand of silithus. More dusty. Tanaris? Uldum? “You’re awake.” Oh that voice. It was everything he hated, boiled into one annoying whelpling. He groaned, closing his eyes, his hands gripping the sand. “To answer the question that must be upon your lips, we’re at the abandoned resort between Feralas and Silithus. Kale heard movement beside him. Opening his eyes, he sat up with difficulty. “They are called the Steam Pools.” He grunted. He examined his wounds; a bloody gash tore up his side, bleeding onto the pale sand.

“It makes no difference.” Wrathion sat down beside him, looking none the worse for wear. It was galling, that the young whelp was left with nothing but a scratch running down his face, but Kale could barely breathe. “You are…yourself again.” Wrathion said the words as if he wanted to laugh, but when he turned to look at Kale, there was concern in his eyes. Kale bit back a retort. “This is not me! This is what the Legion left of me after they had finished their experiments.” He spat the words, anger coursing through him. If it weren’t for the dragon next to him, it would never have happened. Azeroth would be in relative peace. N’Zoth would still imprisoned. This was all down to Wrathion."

[helloalycia]

𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐋𝐘 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒 [𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄] — 𝐀𝐋𝐘𝐂𝐈𝐀 𝐃𝐄𝐁𝐍𝐀𝐌-𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐘

one / two / three / four / masterlist / wattpad

summary: Alycia finally confronts her father about your relationship.

warning/s: none.

author's note: here's a little bonus part that isn't very long because a lot of people wanted some sort of conclusion haha – not gonna lie, i was just gonna leave it open-ended but then decided to just quickly write this. Hope you like it!

I chewed my lip subconsciously as I watched Alycia and her father going back and forth at one another outside in the garden.

Stood inside the safe confinements of the dining room, I'd been observing their conversation-turned-argument through the glass for the past five minutes, the double glazing allowing for the occasional loudly-yelled word or phrase to be heard. It was enough for me to make out the unpleasantries exchanged, the absolute Clayton slander from Alycia and basically everything she'd ever bottled up in regard to her father.

It would have been satisfying to witness if I didn't feel so bad about it all. As annoying as her father was, it was still her father, and even though Alycia had promised to make things right after our cuffs came off earlier, it didn't change that fact.

When I felt a presence beside me, I looked away from them to see Millie had approached, standing beside me and looking outside curiously.

"Damn, she's finally standing up to him, huh?" she realised.

I nodded, looking back to them. "Yep. We leave first thing in the morning."

Mille hummed, surprised. "Well, I'm happy for you. It's about time Alycia stepped up for you. You deserve it, Y/N."

I smiled appreciatively, glancing at her. "Thanks, Millie. You're one of the few things that made this trip tolerable."

Millie snorted with amusement. "No worries. Happy to be of service."

I snickered before turning around when I heard the sliding door open. A quick glance told me Alycia's father was storming off in a mood, and Alycia herself was returning with a heavy sigh to mark her frustration and relief.

"How did it go?" I asked her with a raised brow, before sarcastically adding, "Looked great from where I was stood."

With a reassuring smile, she approached me. "It's all okay now. And I feel a lot better."

I exhaled, giving her a small smile, and then she noticed Millie stood beside me and grew embarrassed.

"Millie," she acknowledged with a nod. "Look, I... I must apologise for my behaviour earlier. It wasn't appropriate and it certainly wasn't fair of me."

Millie tried not to laugh as she replied generously, "It's okay. I kind of figured there was more to it."

Cheeks dusting pink, Alycia struggled for words. "Still."

Finally smiling, Millie said, "It's okay. No harm, no foul." A pause, and then she added, "It'll certainly be boring without you two around."

Laughing to herself, she left the two of us alone and Alycia seems to relax fully.

"It was nice of you to apologise," I told her, resting a hand on her arm as I stepped closer.

"I was an arse to her," she admitted. "It was needed."

I scrunched my nose up. "Yeah, just a little."

She rolled her eyes, a ghost of a smile on her lips. "Whatever. Let's go pack, idiot."

I laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her into my side as we walked.

We spent the remainder of the afternoon packing our things before relaxing in our room, watching some TV, before we had to endure a final family dinner tonight. I was dreading it slightly, worried her dad might kill me or something, but to our surprise, he didn't show.

Her mum was seated at the table already, Alycia and I soon joining her, but her dad wasn't there. Alycia didn't seem to mind, but I felt a little guilty, wondering if this was all worth it.

"He's sulking," her mum explained to us when she saw our expressions.

"Good," Alycia said dismissively. "I've said all I have to say."

Her mum sighed. "I know, hon."

"I refuse to visit here until he learns to accept my life as it is," Alycia told her knowingly. "That includes my girlfriend. But you're always welcome to visit us, mum, you know that, right?"

Her mum smiled and nodded. "I know. I'm sure he'll get over himself." Her eyes fell to me, softening apologetically. "He'll understand. Eventually. He's just too stubborn for his own good."

I nodded halfheartedly, eyes returning to my dinner plate as I wasn't sure what to say and it felt like I'd made things worse.

Thankfully, dinner went by quickly enough, with Alycia and her mum soon forgetting of the drama and simply having a final catch up before we'd leave tomorrow. After dessert, we all said our goodnights, and Alycia and I finished early for the evening, the day's events taking its toll on us.

Shortly after, I found myself curled up to Alycia's side in bed, head tucked in the space between her shoulder and neck as her hand gently stroked my hair. It was quiet, myself relaxing the longer we stayed like that, but then she spoke.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "That it took so long for me to stick up for you. For us."

"Better late than never," I attempted to joke to lighten the mood, but she merely sighed in response.

"He'll come around," she said with certainty, though it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself.

"For your sake, I hope so," I said, lips brushing her skin. "He'll miss seeing how amazing you are and have no choice but to."

She chuckled quietly beside me, leaning back to get a better look at me. Her green eyes sparkled with adoration as they met mine, making me smile.

"I think you're biased, darling," she said softly, hand tracing my jaw.

I shook my head nonchalantly. "Nah, I'm not."

Her smile widened and she leaned in, closing the gap between us for a moment. When she pulled back, she said, "You're not?"

I shook my head again, eyes lowering to her lips before capturing them between mine briefly. "Nope."

She snickered before reattaching our lips, body pressing to mine in a way that fogged all my senses and made my heart blossom in my chest. Her tongue slipped between my lips and found mine, overwhelming me in the best way possible as her hand simultaneously slid down my side and past my waist.

It was safe to say that I couldn't remember what we'd even been talking about until that point.

—

"Is that the last one?" Alycia called from the bottom of the staircase.

"Yeah," I called back, before dragging the final suitcase behind me, taking it downstairs.

We were finally leaving the Debnam-Carey mansion, to my relief. I brought the suitcase outside where the driver was loading the car with our things and turned to see Alycia hugging her mother by the front door. Sucking up a breath, I approached them and waited patiently.

"He's not gonna say goodbye, is he?" Alycia asked her mum, trying to show indifference, but I could see that she was disappointed.

"He's sulking," her mum said with a slight frown.

Alycia sighed, massaging the bridge of her nose. I placed a comforting hand on her back, though my insides were shrivelling with guilt.

"You've got a good thing here with Y/N," her mum said to her, surprising me. "Don't let his petulance ruin that." Alycia nodded, and her mum looked to me with a softened expression. "He's gonna come around. He's gonna see how important this is. How special you are to our Leashy. He never stays mad for long."

I appreciated her attempt at reassuring me, her no doubt having seen my guilty face, but still wasn't sure. "What if he doesn't?"

She smiled considerately. "Oh, he will."

I nodded slightly, a little more at ease. The last thing I wanted was to drive a wedge in their family. Alycia hugged her mum once more, thanking her for her support.

"I'm sorry I've never been too welcoming to you," her mum said to me with apologetic eyes, and for a moment, she resembled her daughter, making it difficult to hold a grudge. "But this trip has just proven how important you are in Alycia's life. So, welcome to the family, Y/N."

Growing warm at the attention, I nodded awkwardly, small smile on my lips. "Thank you. That means a lot."

Alycia's smile widened as she took my hand in hers, and I was glad that at least something good came out of this whole fiasco. Years later to be accepted was better than never, I supposed.

After a final goodbye, Alycia and I went into the car with a heavy sigh. She reconnected our hands across the middle seat as the driver began our journey, and gave me a soft smile.

"Time to go back home," she said, squeezing my hand.

I returned her smile, though still felt the need to check on her. "Are you gonna be okay? With your dad and everything?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, lighthearted smile on her face, like nothing could bother her right now. "He'll get over it. And I have you, don't I?"

I sighed, her happiness contagious as a smile crept on my lips. "You do."

She leaned forward to kiss my lips briefly before settling into her seat. "What a trip, am I right?"

I laughed, shaking my head with disbelief. "Don't you know it, love. Don't you know it."

[aajjks]

The final part of The Chronicles of Chaos with Besties

“Uhm Whoa.. I’m ok just flabbergasted that my best friend would try and come between us. She just asked if she could kiss me, I know I know. I shouldn’t have trusted her and I am sorry that I went out to go get coffee. I did call you every hour until I the incident happened. She told her boyfriend that I was her lover… you can guess what happened at the cafe. Ha ha I have never been so scared in my life. I missed you so much, and I couldn’t call you, I am so sorry that I worried you. Please forgive me, I’ll do anything.” Your eyes brimmed with unshed tears.

You look at Jungkook’s eyes darken and you truly think he is going to break up with you, I mean you deserve that because he has been nothing but nice to you and you left him for a year because your bestie isn’t really your bestie. She just wanted you to be away from Jungkook and have you to herself. Alycia didn’t need to be brought into this, you wonder if she is alright.

You smile at him and say “Haha I’m in danger aren’t I? Where is Mark, Heather’s boyfriend?” You look around hesitantly because you also feel bad for him. You really need a nap but also a job so you don’t feel worthless.

“I don’t where that fucker I’d but I hope he will find that bitch and kill her because I’m going to kill her. You didn’t kiss her did you kill you as well. Now come on let’s get home.”

[butmakeitgayblog]

I just watched the scenes with alycia and it makes no sense at all 😭 like what are these show writers thinking, what about the plot, what about the backstory 😩 but alycia looked really pretty so whatever I guess 🥰

They really don't 😭 from the bits I've cobbled together thus far: Alicia is immune to the zombie infection I guess, which they just... they did nothin with. At all. I mean the girl is potentially a walking cure, but no no. No. No need to get into that, shhhh shut your mouth about that, apparently. That's not important. You pleebs. You fuckin idiots who care about plot. Get rekt, nerds 🖕

But before all that I guess at some point she and that googly faced dude whose name I cant be fucked to look— TROY. I just remembered it. It's Troy. So her and Troy apparently clashed? At some point? But she got away from him? Or just left? But he had her arm still 🤨. And so Troy then had this fuckin kid with him who told maybe just Madison or maybe everybody (???) was Alicia's kid, and her mom was just like "Hey grandbaby 🥰 mawmaw's gotcha 🥰" while Alicia was like tHE FUCK YOU MEAN MY DAUGHTER ಠ_ಠ??

But that all ends very quickly with zero real extrapolation beyond just, "yeah no mom what the fuck? I did not plop out a whole entire tiny human while I thought you were dead. But I did know her mom, so..."

And then Madison was just like, "Oh. Nice." End scene. END. SCENE. No further discussion needed apparently! That's a wrap on that storyline 🥴

All that checked off, then somehow they get the cat back to Daniel? And Strand just fucks off into the ether? But manages to see Alicia and Madison and not-grandbaby have all reunited, and he's just like,,, "Aw that's nice. That is a nice thing to see 🙂... anyway ✌". I'm not entirely clear on that tho? But what exactly is clear in this goddamn show?

And finally wham. That's it. That's all folks. No more padre or madre or any other spanish words. Just,,,, K we're done here. And so Mother, daughter, and "whose fuckin kid IS THIS???" ride off into the sunset for a bombed out Los Angeles.

And that's... it.

Oh, and frankenhand.

[ravenousminds]

𝖲𝖳𝖠𝖳𝖲

full name: jordan alexander warren

nickname: alex, xander

age/date of birth: 36 / may 8th, 1986

zodiac sign: taurus ☼ libra ☾ cancer ↑

gender identity: cis male (he/him)

place of birth: angelwoods

current location: angelwoods

living situation: owns a nice home that he shares with his dog, pollux.

sexual orientation: demisexual

religion: believer but doesn’t subscribe to any religion

occupation: author, formerly fbi agent

fears: leaving the world worst than he entered it, hurting people.

hobbies: writing, musical theatre, camping, reading,

likes:see above + nature, cooking, history, volunteering, sports.

dislikes: talking about his past

languages spoken: english, malay, spanish, french, italian, russian

height: 6 feet

instruments played: guitar, piano

tattoos: a phoenix on his back, a minimalist tattoo from the song ‘from eden’ by hozier where the word idealism sits in a small prison and it’s located on his left ribcage, the date of his mom’s passing and his sibling’s disappearance on his chest, the phrase ‘when i was drowning, that’s where i could finally breathe’ from the song clean by taylor swift on his right forearm.

piercings: n/a

favorite color: blue, red, green

favorite food: anything, but specially pies (he has memories attached to pies)

allergies: n/a

right or left-handed?: right-handed.

parents: robert warren & alycia reynolds (nee: ong)

sibling(s): a younger sibling, whereabouts unknown (there may be more half siblings, who knows?)

pet(s):a four year old labradoodle named pollux

ABOUT

tl;dr: was born in a broken home in angelwoods, lost all his family by age 15 and from then on he fend for himself. knowing all he had left was himself, alex began working harder than ever to get through the last years of high school and applied to angelwood's university where he studied criminal justice for 4 years and for the first time learned what a real family looked like. once he graduated he moved to virginia after he enlisted in the fbi, did the whole process and once he was in he was situated in ny for a few years. he worked tirelessly, making a name for himself in the bureau al whilst never quite feeling happy. it wasn't until a life-altering trip to malaysia to visit his mother's family where he reconnected with lyla (an old crush who would later on become his girlfriend and ultimately, his wife) and a work accident that nearly took his life that the then agent realized he didn't quite enjoy the path he had taken in life and ultimately quit. alex and lyla began traveling the world together after he resigned, which gave him the time to write everything he had lived whilst working for the fbi down and he ended up turning one of his many stories into a book that surprisingly got picked by an indie publishing house in new york and got printed, it ended up becoming a best seller, earning him the title of author. somewhere in the haze of it all, his relationship with lyla began to suffer due to distance and the two of them wanting different things in life, and the two broke things off leaving completely heartbroken before even turning 30.

at age 35, with nothing tying him to ny and with a deal of two more books he had to work on, alex moved back to angelwoods trying to find both the inspiration and the feeling of belonging he had once felt while living in the little town many years ago.

FULL BIO SOON

𝖯𝖤𝖱𝖲𝖮𝖭𝖠𝖫𝖨𝖳𝖸

For the most part, Alexander is a very loving and caring person. He genuinely cares about making those around him happy, he is very protective of those he loves, sometimes to a fault. But he always has good intentions, unless you hurt someone he loves, then he can be hell on earth and he has the FBI on his side so really, don’t cross him.

He can get VERY hot-heated, he is a very passionate guy when something really interests him.

He’s basically tired ???? all the time??? he doesn’t sleep that much but he’s getting better at it now that he doesn’t sleep alone) but yeah, big part of his personality, either tired or drinking coffee.

Kind of a mess, he tries to hides it because he knows people around him need him and he wants to be there for them plus he is like, someone in the literature world now so, he has to appear to have it all together but... yeah

Honestly, just a very tired old golden retriever with an awful past he is still trying to deal with.

[myriadxofxmuses]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN !!

TAGGED BY: @heartxshaped-bruises (😊)

TAGGING: @savagecuhnt, @lunarruled, @thanaredreamtof, @strictlyoc, @seeance, @infinitexkind, @lostxones

 ✧･ﾟ   𝐃𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄.

NAME:  ██████████████

NICKNAME: Mo Mo

FACE CLAIM: Felicia Day, but I don't use a FC much anymore. Amy Less is a close second just because I get compared to her so much.

PRONOUNS: Don’t care honestly

HEIGHT: 5′2

BIRTHDAY: June 26

AESTHETIC: Lazy goth with a sprinkle of grunge and gamer

LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Sweet Emotion

FAVORITE MUSE(S) YOU’VE WRITTEN: Daryl and Ethan. I just love their dynamics. 

GET TO KNOW THE ACCOUNT !!

★  ⸻   WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO TAKE THIS MUSE?

While Ethan is currently my favorite muse to write, Emily was my first ever. She has gone thorugh some changes over the years, but I watched Hemlock Grove and stumbled upon the RPC here on Tumblr. I love to write and it seemed like it could be really fun to throw her into a variety of situations and aus. As far as her creation, she just sort of popped up while watching the show. I tend to imagine a lot of 'what ifs' for movies/shows that I enjoy. The muse sort of comes together on their own after that.

★  ⸻   WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE ASPECTS OF YOUR CURRENT MUSE?

For Oscar, it's his convictions. For Ofreyja, her spontaneity and almost sickeningly positive outlook on life. For Ethan, his unapologetic sense of self. For Emily, her artistic ability. For Gage, his career. For Silas, his naivety for life - he has big, unguarded heart.

★  ⸻   WHO’S YOUR CURRENT FC?

Ethan : Dylan O’Brien

Ofreyja: Gabriella Wilde

Gage: Cole Sprouse

Silas: Boyd Holbrook

Emily: Emily Rudd

Oscar: Tom Hardy

Sydney: Alycia Debnam-Carey

Ivy: Ana De Armas

★  ⸻   WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST INSPIRATION WHEN IT COMES TO WRITING?

Weed and music. Also semi-solitude.  I don’t like people reading over my shoulder tbh and like to be left alone while I write. I get in the zone and it can be frustrating to be pulled from it in the middle of its peak. XD

★  ⸻   FAVORITE TYPES OF THREADS?

I adore ships and angst. But fluff is a close second. 

[disabled-dragoon]

Hey! I’ve sent a message before but my dr thinks I have spastic paraplegia. He wants to keep me out of a wheelchair as long as possible so I use a rollator right now but when I walk for more then like a couple minutes (if that) I get this horrible tightness in my hips that makes it really painful and uncomfortable to walk. I also get really bad muscle cramps in my calf and when I get one I usually get more in succession. Any recommendations for what to do? My dr is kinda useless when it comes to helping me 🥲 I’m in PT too but they kinda went “¯\_(ツ)_/ we don’t even know what spastic paraplegia is”

Well by that logic, shouldn't they find out? Honestly. I say the worst part of disability is the admin, but having to explain it to doctors every single time is up there too.

I have to preface that my recommendations will probably be a bit vaguer than you might be hoping for, simply because I obviously don't know the full extent of your pain, and every HSP or potential HSP diagnosis is different so forgive me for that.

Obviously I'm not a doctor so disclaimer here: Any advice I give is purely off personal experience. Bring it up with a trusted medical professional if it something that interests you.

-

So my first question is: Do you have any physio exercises? And more importantly, do you do them?

I completely understand the physiotherapist thing. I've had to explain HSP to all but two of my doctors, and even then one of them still needed coaching as to what the hell they were actually dealing with so I get it. I'm not going to give you the whole "if you exercise you won't be disabled anymore" spiel because we both know that not's true, but exercise really does help with slowing it down and making the pain more manageable.

If you want more/better exercise suggestions that are bit more specific to the areas outlined, I have some links that might be worth checking out:

Hip exercises: this is a link to the Spire Healthcare website that details an extensive list of exercises for hip stiffness and pain.

Sastic Paraplegia Foundation: Link to an official HSP charity, specifically to a page detailing good advice for physio exercises and areas to focus on.

Honestly the SPF is really really good for more information. It's got loads of resources on physiotherapy, the differences in the disability, a forum, information on research developments. Etc. etc. It's good to peruse if you're interested!

I am an HSP Warrior- My Exercise Journey: This is a youtube channel ran by a woman of the name of Alycia Klein. She is diagnosed with HSP and puts out semi-regular, short home exercise videos. Her last video, as of writing this, was actually fifty minutes ago!

Also may I suggest perhaps looking into exercise/resistance bands? I found they've worked wonders for strengthening my joints and help with pain, but, as always, consult with a trusted doctor beforehand to make sure this is the option for you. I personally use latex ones (see below) but there are several options to look through.

[ID: Pile of 5 latex exercise bands on a white background. The colours, from left to right, are black, red, blue, yellow and green. /end ID]

Next up: Extra Information!

I don't know how much you might personally know about HSP, or about how much I may have told you in the past, but! It never hurts to know more. And it may be of some help, if you feel comfortable to, sharing some some information with you PT.

I like this video:

It's relatively short, has pictures to accompany it and the subtitles aren't auto-generated! At the end it also gives a brief insight into some areas to focus exercise on to potentially extend your mobility and maybe the time you can stay out of a wheelchair.

And lastly, your doctor wants to avoid the wheelchair for now but what do you think?

No one knows your body better than you do and if this a genuine concern for you, it might not hurt to push the issue. Even just as something to consider in case of emergency.

Also, does your rollator have a seat? If not, personally I've found I sometimes prefer it to my wheelchair. It lets me walk until I get tired then I can sit and wait the pain out. Doesn't work all the time but when I want to exercise out of the chair it's quite good.

-

That's all I have at the moment. If you have any more specific questions please feel free to send them my way, I'd be more than happy to try and answer them.

I hope this has been of some help to you anon, and I wish you good luck!