#i know classic who was iffy at times but jesus

[thetimelordbatgirl]

This popped up in my feed, so I watched it and...yeah, its pretty good, would recommend watching it. Only con is that uh, it doesn't mention the spin offs like Sarah Jane Adventures (the only female led spin off) and Torchwood, cause I honestly feel it showed even more how RTD handled female characters versus the era of Steven Moffat (could have even compared what happens when RTD writes for the 11th doctor in his guest appearance in SJA versus....what happens when Steven's writing him).

[sxftkxssxs]

i have a request! how would the courtiers react if they were there when mc broke a leg/how would they act throughout the healing process? -broken leg anon :3

ksdjfldsk I hope ur recovery is going/will go well, dear! And I hope this brings you some happiness <3

The coutiers with a broken leg mc

Volta

she jumps 50 feet in the air no joke

she heard the crack and that so unsettling break of ur leg and

She runs faster than ever to get you actual helps since she’s kinda, not good in the medical field-

She doesn’t know how much she can help with ur recovery-

but she tries!

she actually offers you food?? and everyone looks at her when she does it bc-

She’s never done that with anyone before??

She does check in with you when she remembers to!

hugs <3 (she’s very tiny dont squeeze too hard)

i wouldnt ask her to help you get anywhere since she’s not built for that but she tries to make sure there’s someone to help-

You groaned, pulling yourself to sit up. Immediately you could smell something amazing. You looked over to see a gorgeous plate of food on your bedside table. There was a hurried note beside it, most obviously in volta’s handwriting. (And drool?? on the paper?)

‘I hope this helps you feel better, countess mentioned yesterday was hard for you.

- Volta’

Valerius

you can see the immediate disgust and concern mixed on his face when he hears a crack

takes one look at your leg and almost throws up

mans almost went to vlademar but knew they’d just cut ur leg off most likely

When ur leg is finally not..a mess

he is checking in on you and helping in his own way

he does this by watching ur body language, if ur tense he gets literally everyone to either leave u alone or- not be shitty

no do not ask for any physical help or affection in public <3 he’ll walk away from u

if anyone asks he literally goes into hard denial

he won’t let you drink with him bc well- if you get drunk with a broken leg he’s not responsible for whatever you break next

no he will not help you *putting his arm out to keep you stable*

You gave yourself a slight reminder to thank Valerius later. The halls were quiet, and easy for you to make your way through. Valerius had people clear out certain places that had been way too cluttered for you to move through. Now you didn’t have to take the long routes, thank god. When you got to your seat at the table you saw a little note under your plate.

‘Don’t break anything else, people complain too much when they have to clean.

- Valerius’

Vlastomil

dear god no

he screams so loud when he sees your leg all twisted

everyone in the palace starts running to you bc of his screech

he does stay near you but mostly to see if this will permanently damage you

always describes you as a fragile creature compared to his baby worms

the one who always keeps you balanced with no complaints

probably gifts you a worm based gift (throw it away and he’ll cry)

literally forces you to relax sometimes bc ur getting cranky about not being able to walk properly

do not let him cook for you. that’s portias job and he’ll burn the palace down

appreciate him bc if he’s gone ur stuck with Valerius to keep you balanced

You let out a little huff, giving Vlastomil a soft thank you. He doesn’t respond but appreciates it nonetheless. When he leaves you, there’s a note in your pocket. You didn’t think him to be the one to be sneaky..

‘Humans are such fragile creatures, maybe you’d be even cuter as a worm. For now keep yourself in one piece. I’ll keep working on that work idea..

- Vlastomil’

Vulgora

literally laughs at you when they hear that crack

You have to yell and throw a shoe at them to get them to go get help

they aren’t much help at all in any field of recovery besides physical therapy if you need it

you heard me. physical therapy.

they move all the time, they know if something is way wrong with how youre moving

they’re really harsh with words but they do try to help you move better

how else are they supposed to fight you on fair grounds mf

you’ll actually owe them a lot of thanks for this,

they’re good at helping you get used to walking after you no longer need to be so careful

they wanna see how your fighting styles changed after this </3

You let out a sigh, you knew you’d have hell to pay after asking Vulgora for help but jesus. You didn’t expect them to keep running their mouth the whole time. Ignoring the talking though, you had to be grateful for how patient they were being. When you finally got done with Vulgora, you found a note on your nightstand. Classic all small caps Vulgora handwriting.

‘DONT BREAK ANYTHING ELSE. HELPING YOU TAKES FOREVER AND IM READY TO DUEL AGAIN. LETS HAVE A FIGHT ONCE YOU CAN MOVE PROPERLY!

- VULGORA’

Vlademar

oh no

no actually that’s all they say when your leg breaks-!

they’re super iffy to be around but, what’s the point in just examining your leg??

they actually fix you up and don’t rip you open???

you shouldn’t be surprised, if they were going to examine you they would’ve already done it

“this isn’t a big deal vlademar” “if i don’t have you in perfect condition soon the fools body will get ruined >:((“

it’s mostly about the body but? if they’ve gotten attached to you it’s a lot more than that

basically the mother hen over you out of everyone

also the one who assigned them all the jobs of how to help you

(they’re very disappointed in Valerius 😐)

very content with themselves when you’re all fixed up

You shiver at the coldness of Vlademar’s hands. “Is this really necessary to check Vlademar-?” Their look is immediately shutting you up. “Yes, I’ve got to make sure the fools body and you are fully intact.” Once theyve finally stopped looking all over your leg for any injury left, they let you go. Leaving a note on your desk.

‘Let’s keep you healthy. I wouldn’t want you or the fools body disappearing so soon. I’ll check in again soon.

- Vlademar’

[morwensteelsheen]

I might have just hallucinated this but at some point i saw something (maybe it was a fic? Idk) exploring Eowyn meeting Glorfindel. Just for fun do you have any thoughts on how that might have gone? I always thought it was an interesting little detail that so many elves were present in Edoras for Theoden's funeral/the trothplighting and wonder what they might have made of all that. It seemed to me a changing of the guard in a way as the age of elves was ending and the age of men began ascending

Oooh, fun question, and that's really such a beautiful way of putting that, I love the idea of it as a changing of the guard.

You definitely didn't hallucinate that fic, I'm trying to find it now — will update when I do!

So I think there are a few main factors that go into deciding what Éowyn would have thought about meeting Glorfindel, and vice versa. I’ll start with Éowyn because that’s what I’m more comfortable with.

The three main questions to answer here are: 1) Éowyn’s thoughts on the Elves generally 2) Éowyn’s awareness of the prophesy/the lore surrounding the Witch-king and 3) the extent to which Éowyn is impressed (or not impressed) by impressive things.

We’ll start with 1. Which rocks because it’s the one we have the least textual evidence for — classic! Legolas is almost certainly the first Elf she’s ever interacted with, and we see basically no interactions between them. So we have to look to the next Elves she sees which are… Elladan and Elrohir. And on those fellas, she’s got nothing particularly interesting to say:

The Lady Éowyn greeted them and was glad of their coming; for no mightier men had she seen than the Dúnedain and the fair sons of Elrond; but on Aragorn most of all her eyes rested.

So, she (rightly) thinks they’re pretty and strong, but really has nothing much else to say beyond that. This is mostly because she’s focussed entirely on Aragorn, but you’d think if she was going to have any strong reactions, now would be the time. Textually this is all we get, so now I get to dive into my HC. I think she’s basically unimpressed by them generally. Not outright hostile, because she’ll have seen what part they played in the war and have tremendous respect for them for that, but they’re not really a thing that exists in her life, so to speak. Plus, the first person she really talks to for any extended period of time who’s going to have any strong opinions on the Elves is Faramir and he is, objectively, deeply ambivalent (see: his takes on dealing with Galadriel and the Elves in Two Towers. King of Not Giving A Fuck).

On the Elf Question, she’s probably going to come to them with a general level of ambivalence and, maybe, some scepticism, and maybe some feelings of discomfort. They’re just very, very outwith her ken.

Okay onto 2. The prophesy and the lore. Yeah, Éowyn almost certainly knows jack shit about this. Not because she’s dumb, but just because it’s, again, not really part of her world. The Battle of Fornost is a somewhat significant battle, all things considered, but it’s so far before the establishment of the Mark that it’s unlikely they’re going to be dealing with the specifics of it, and certainly even less so with the airy-fairy shit some twunk is spouting off afterwards. Going into her fight, she’s really not going to know why it should matter that she’s not a dude, she just knows that the Witch king is bad and she wants him gone. She might not even know who Glorfindel is, to be honest! Which is also going to be funny because for those in the know, Glorfindel is, like, literally Jesus Christ Superstar. The question really is how many people know? The Gondorrim fo sho, I struggle with the extent to which the Rohirrim are versed in this sort of stuff. Éomer, maybe. Certainly he’s going to be briefed, being the King of the Mark and all that, but how much gets passed along to Éowyn? I’m not sure. My heart says all of it, my head says basically none.

And 3., how much is Éowyn impressed by impressive things? Well, that can go either way. She’s obviously very impressed by Aragorn, but that could be/is as much an emotional response to the act of heroism she sees as it is to his general impressiveness. The next impressive thing we see her deal with is the Witch king and, again, this is coloured by emotion, but she really does not seem impressed At All by him. So unimpressed, actually, that where braver men turned tail and hauled ass out of there, she starts monologuing lol. The next impressive thing is Minas Tirith, Gondor generally, and Faramir. She’s very iffy on all of these things, she’s certainly not much impressed by the power or majesty of it all, and it takes a lot of concessions on Faramir’s behalf before she’s out and out ready to deal with him. So, yeah. Not easily impressed our Éowyn.

Glorfindel, by comparison, is an absolute delight of a character who is almost certainly deeply, deeply impressed with Éowyn. And, I think importantly, is not liable to get bogged down into the hooha about whether or not it’s Merry or Éowyn who fulfils the prophesy. I think he’s going to be fucking thrilled to death (in his own, neat and tidy way) about Éowyn being who she is. His approach to this is going to be much less complicated than Éowyn’s — he’s seen fucking loads of great heroes in his life, no matter how cool she is, she’s just another one of them, so he’s not going to be starstruck.

I think their actual meeting would be fairly lowkey, particularly if it’s at any sort of major event. I might even go so far as to say that Éowyn’s not really going to differentiate between him and any of the other Elves that are cutting about unless someone either 1) explicitly gives her a heads up in advance or 2) he goes out of his way to explain who he is and what their implicit relationship to one another is. For my part, I’m not certain he would.

Part of the problem with dealing with this question is that Glorfindel is Tolkien’s hero’s hero. He’s a hero nonpareil, basically so heroic that he lacks any real distinguishable personality beyond inherent nobility, goodness, and courage. In any interaction between them, Glorfindel would sort of being fulfilling the role of a character trope, and Éowyn would be providing the bulk of the personality. Given that, I think I’m pretty comfortable in saying that Glorfindel would probably approach Éowyn as a warrior equal, and would compliment her on her feat, but would not, I think, necessarily be hanging around to chat complex history with her. If anything it’s probably going to be a drive-by conversation. They’ll meet, he’ll congratulate her, he’ll go on with his life. I don’t think she’s going to be starstruck by meeting him.

I also think she’s going to be at a very specific point in her life at any point where they could reasonably meet where she’s probably not going to be all giggly/happy/proud of herself for having killed the Witch king. It’s still going to be a really sore, traumatic moment in her life that’s going to be wrapped up in so many other negative emotions (not least of which is her stunted catharsis — which I am intending to write about later) that she’s probably fine acknowledging it but is maybe a bit emotionally ehhh on it. If he, say, swings by Emyn Arnen in TA 3021, maybe she’ll be a little more up for chatting happily about it and swapping war stories. But I think at Théoden’s funeral or Aragorn and Arwen’s wedding she’s just not going to be in the right place for big hype over it. And I suspect Glorfindel would recognise that and be respectful of it — he, too, has seen some shit.

What would be fucking fun is everybody who’d be trying to watch that interaction, especially if it’s going on at an event or in public. The rubbernecking would be absurd. For all his Elf ambivalence, I’d put a decent amount of money down to say that Faramir would be hauling ass over there to be a part of that conversation — mostly out of a detached academic interest, it’s not often you see the heroes of your childhood stories/Tolkien Jesus come walking up to congratulate your wife on being radge as fuck. If Aragorn’s around/aware, he’s definitely got some level of pride going on over it, and would probably try to see it from afar, if not being around for it. Éomer’s definitely hyped even if he’s not really got the full significance of it down, there’s no way he’s not going to be impressed by Glorfindel’s biography. Everybody else, even those without a personal connection to either of them, is probably watching because it’d be a cool as shit thing to see. I don’t fully understand the significance of, like, public marriage proposals or whatever, but if I see one happening I’m gonna watch it. That sort of thing.

[quills-and-golden-ink]

Welcome one and all to the second part of the Monthly Guide to Monsters! The talented @downwithwritersblock​ and I have teamed up to bring you some quick and easy guides to some of the world’s most infamous creatures. 

The guide will include: basic background, historical information, abilities, how to defeat them, and portrayals in media. They’ll probably also come with some short stories or prompts! 

For this week, I’ve been tasked with probably one of my favourite mythological beings: vampires. These will be posted on Mondays and Thursdays, excluding this week (since I’ve been busy with stuff). We hope you enjoy! 

Monster Guide #2: The Vampire

Definition: A vampire is an undead or immortal being from folklore that subsists by feeding off the vital force (usually blood) of the living. Vampires are typically creatures that bring about mischief or death. For a long time, vampires were synonymous with demons. Many cultures actually classified vampires as being corpses that were possessed and animated by a demon.

Description: Many early tales described vampires to be bloated; with ruddy, dark, or purple skin, and almost always wearing some kind of dark shroud to hide themselves in (that they usually bring with them from their own grave). It wasn’t until the 19th century, with our more modern day lore that we started to see the classic frail, or gaunt and pale vampires that we have grown used to seeing in the media.

Abilities: These change from culture to culture, although many of them were birthed by Bram Stoker's Novel “Dracula” (which were, btw, super OP). Included are some of the most common abilities associated with vampires (you’ll notice that “glittering in sunlight” is absent because of this). 

Usually immortal, or with at least a very prolonged life span

Increased abilities such as strength, speed, sight, hearing and smell. 

Flight

Some hypnosis, telepathy, illusionary magic. 

Shapeshifting (typically into a bat)

Vampire’s Baptism: the act of healing one with a vampires blood, or turning one into a vampire through mutual biting

Regenerative healing

Immune or really unaffected by conventional or normal means of attack (like being punched, stabbed or shot) 

Night vision

Preventing Vampirism: Vampires eventually caused a bit of hysteria in some cultures, so we see many examples throughout the world of people trying to prevent the rise of the undead.

Some ways found to prevent the rise of a vampire were:

Buried upside down or flipped over.

Some cultures places scythes or sickles beside graves to satisfy the demons they thought would possess the dead. Why? Don’t know but that’s sick. 

Religious symbols, like wax crosses or pieces of pottery with biblical messages like “Jesus Christ Conquers” were commonly placed on corpses to prevent vampirism.

Some took the practical route and decided that separating or destroying the tendons in the legs of the deceased would also keep the dead from rising.

Shooting a bullet through the casket right before burial was also common

Some would put pieces of steel or silver over the corpse’s eyes, in their mouth, in their ears, or in between their fingers.

Pushing Iron needles through the heart was also said to stop a vampire from rising.

Decapitating after death. 

Curing and Killing: 

Garlic was said to keep away vampires

Crucifixes and rosaries were typically said to keep a vampire away.

They could not cross onto sacred or consecrated ground (like a church)

It’s also said they could not cross over running water (no bridges for vampires)

Some folklore says that they lacked shadows and would not show up in a mirror or a photograph (some folklore states that this is a reflection of their lack of a soul, although it could be due to the use of silver in these things)

Sprinkling mustard seeds along the roof of your house was said to keep vampires away, but if it didn't, you’d be alright becauseeee

Vampires, in many myths, could not enter a home without first being invited in. Be careful though, they only need the one invite. After that they might just be able to come and go from your house as they please.

Wild rose stems or hawthorn branches could potentially harm them

In many legends, vampires are warded off, and sometimes even harmed by silver. (Old mirrors were commonly backed with silver, and old photography also used silver specks, which might be the reason they’re not seen in them)

Holy Water or other items blessed by a priest were said to keep them away, and possibly even hurt them.

Vampires were said to be nocturnal, and were very vulnerable or damaged in sunlight. It might have even been able to kill them.

Being set on fire can kill just about everything, and vampires were no exception. 

@downwithwritersblock‘s favourite way to stop a vampire: Arithmomania. An expression or type of OCD in which the person who suffers from it feels compelled to count either their actions or the objects around them.  In many cultures around the world, especially in Eastern Europe and in Asia, it’s said that if you place small seeds (usually poppy seeds), sand or a type of grain like rice beside the grave, or in front of the vampire, they would compulsively have to count it, and that would keep them busy until either you kill them, or until the sunrises and the light kills them for you.

Decapitation was also a very common method in both preventing, and killing vampires.

And of course the most famous of all; A wooden stake through the heart. Many cultures will also tell you that the stake has to be made out of the same kind of wood as the cross that Jesus was crucified on.

History: Here we’ve included two of the most famous “real life vampires” in history! Up first we have...

Vlad Tepes (or as he’s more commonly known: Vlad the Impaler, or Vlad Dracula).

Born between 1428 and 1431 and died in either 1476 or 1477.

He was Prince of Walachia 3 times between 1448 and his death

The second son of Vlad Dracul, who ruled Walachia

Imprisoned in Transylvania, held in Visegrad from 1463 to 1475.

Vlad II got the name ‘Dracul’ when he joined ‘The Order of the Dragon’, a ‘monarchical chivalric order for selected nobility’ in middle Eastern Europe (aka it was mainly Germanic states).

Dracul(a) means ‘Dragon’, and in more modern Romanian it means ‘The Devil’

Vlad III’s prefered method of execution was impalement. Hence the nickname ‘Vlad the Impaler’

Rumours and stories of Vlad spread fast, in fact, books about his cruel acts were best sellers in the German speaking territories.

However, to his own people, Vlad was usually seen as a warrior and a hero.

Bram Stoker was the one to turn Vlad into the legendary vampire with his well known book “Dracula,” published in 1897. It relied on many of the ancient myths of blood suckers found in Romanian folklore. The novel was very loosely based on Vlad, considering Bram Stoker didn't actually know a whole lot about Vlad and Walachia.

Bram Stoker is also among the first to change the traditional vampire into what we know today. His book is, or at least part of the reason that the image of vampires shift into one that is pale and thin, the lack of a reflection or shadow probably starts with his novel as well.

Secondly, we have my favourite: Elizabeth Bathory, aka “The Blood Countess.” 

Considered to be the first female serial killer.

The accusations change a bit depending on the story, but, Elizabeth was a Countess who was accused of taking, torturing and killing hundreds of young girls. She was accused of some pretty gnarly torture methods like covering people in honey and ants, or burning and then dunking people in freezing water, not to mention mutilation. She was accused of cannibalism. She was also said to drink the blood of her victims, earning her the nickname ‘Countess Dracula’. Some also say that as a regular part of her beauty regimen she would drain the blood of young virgin girls, and bathe in it to help keep her young and beautiful. Sometimes I like to call her the inventor of the first bath bomb.

The highest number of victims she was accused of was 650; however, this, like many parts of her story are questionable, and from unreliable or iffy sources.

Vampires in Media: This list is absolutely massive, so I’ve included twelve titles. This includes books, tv shows, and movies, but excludes video games. 

Buffy The Vampire Slayer (TV show, movie, comics)

The Vampire Chronicles/Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice (movie and book)

Carmilla (1871 novel, cute lesbian 2014 youtube series, movie)

The Vampire Diaries (TV Show)

True Blood (Book series, TV show)

Van Helsing (Movie, TV show)

Dracula by Bram Stoker (1897 Novel)

30 Days Of Night (movie)

Twilight (Book series, movie)

The Originals (TV show)

Angel (TV show)

Blade (Movie)

And my personal favourite, which doesn’t fall under any specific monster, is the Women of the Otherworld series by Kelley Armstrong. Would highly recommend. It’s 13 books in the main series, and features all sorts of awesome and well-known supernatural entities such as (but not limited to): werewolves, vampires, half-demons, witches, sorcerers, demons, angels, and necromancers. Fun 18+ supernatural mystery read (with triggers for violence, gore, and explicit sexual content however. Reader discretion is advised.)

Prompts:

1. “You’re so coldblooded!”

    “Uh, yeah? I literally don’t have any blood?” 

2. “The worst part about being a vampire is not being able to take selfies. Do you know how much I miss looking at my own beautiful face?” 

3. “I suppose the best part of this whole ordeal is not having to spend so much time in the vanity.” 

4. “I’m scared to do my eyeliner.”

5. “Werewolves have it so easy! What’s the big deal with turning into a wolf every once in a while? I’d slaughter a country if it meant I could go outside and enjoy the sun. Even as a four-legged mutt.”

[klstheword]

In the pecking order of Christmas stories, A Christmas Carol is second only to the baby Jesus. Even if you’ve never read it, or had it read to you, you know about that flinty-hearted miser Ebenezer Scrooge and his redemption during one long dark night of the soul.

Bill Murray, Albert Finney, Michael Caine and Alastair Sim have all played Scrooge in one of the endless film remakes and reboots there have been over the years. Now comes the story behind the story, The Man Who Invented Christmas: a heavily fictionalised biopic with Dan Stevens playing Charles Dickens, bashing out A Christmas Carol in six weeks after contracting a nasty dose of writer’s block in 1843. Thanks to the success of Oliver Twist, Dickens is literary-rock-star famous. But at 31, after a handful of flops, he has a gnawing anxiety that his powers are on the wane. And with four kids, another baby on the way and debts piling up, he needs to make some serious cash, fast.

The film is a Quality Street treat for the holidays, with a gooey sweet centre – daft but immensely likable, and performed with pantomime gusto by a top-notch cast. Dickens yomps about London, meeting people who inspire the creation of Scrooge, Tiny Tim and the gang. These characters then literally come to life in his study as he writes, and they’re an unruly bunch, ruthlessly mocking his failure to finish his comeback. (Christopher Plummer is terrific as Scrooge.)

And with his flamboyant star turn as Dickens, there’s Stevens, a man who finally looks to be laying to rest his own ghost of Christmas past. Cast your mind back to 2012, when the shock death in the Downton Abbey Christmas special of his beloved character Matthew Crawley had the faithful crying into their sherry glasses.

Unlike many actors, Stevens is not at all uptight when chatting about the character who made him famous. Nevertheless, in the past five years, he has done everything possible to distance himself from Crawley, the interloping heir to the Downton pile. He has cross-dressed in the cult favourite Vimeo show High Maintenance, murdered with psychopathic charm in The Guest, freaked out on the Marvel TV spin-off Legion and locked up Emma Watson in Beauty and the Beast. He even looks different these days. Gone is the floppy blond hair, and the once boyish face is chiselled into sharp angles. Stevens credits the weight loss to moving to New York where he finds it easier to look after himself, working out at the gym and cutting out dairy.

Different, too, has been the reception granted Stevens’s post-Downton work. A pleasantly surprised tone crept into reviews, a perceptible sound of critics retracting knives and grudgingly acknowledging that, oh hang on, he’s actually a bit good, isn’t he? Stevens throws his head back laughing when asked how he feels about this change in critical fortunes. “It’s interesting. You do one show that goes everywhere, and people associate you with that. Do I think Downtown is my best work? Probably not. But if people enjoy it, or if that’s what they think of when they think of me, so be it. It served me well.” If he is offended by the question, he is too polite to say. Dan Stevens is scrupulously polite, so careful with his words that he often leaves you wondering what he really thinks.

Stevens studied English at Cambridge and was a Booker prize judge in 2012, reading 146 novels in seven months (the Downton costume team stitched secret pockets into his jackets for his Kindle). But he shrugs when I ask about historical accuracy, or the lack of it, in his latest film. (The Man Who Invented Christmas has been criticised by experts for, among other things, the inaccurate size of its newspaper headlines.) “Frankly, whether it’s historically accurate I’m not that concerned about. I was interested in that moment of the creative process, watching a great man struggle – to me, that’s dramatically and comedically interesting. Certainly I was keen not to play Dickens as a bearded old sage.”

He tells me that one of his co-stars, Miriam Margolyes, has a theory that Dickens was bipolar. Does Stevens buy that? “It’s a very interesting interpretation. I think there’s something to be said for it…” he tails off.

Needless to say, the film does not dwell on Dickens’s iffy relationships with women. (A year before publishing A Christmas Carol, he had this to say about his wife in a letter to a friend: “Catherine is as near being a donkey as one of her sex can be.”) “I think he was a good father and a terrible husband,” Stevens says diplomatically. “But yeah, I think it being a Christmas film, we wanted it to be fairly full of laughter. I don’t wish to take anything away from the man, and therefore you have to address the dark side of his nature and his work. There were moments when he was bleak and depressive. But I think there were moments when he was great fun to be around, very silly and playful.” I must say that, having watched the film, I’m still none the wiser about which yuletide customs Dickens has bragging rights on. Pudding, definitely. Turkey? Mistletoe?

Stevens loves Christmas, unironically, in a full-on, festive jumpers and stockings-hanging-on-the-fireplace kind of way. “I always have. Our house is pretty lively at Christmas,” he says. He is married to the singer Susie Hariet and they have three children. Family festivities at their gaff kick off on Christmas Eve, watching The Muppet Christmas Carol. Who does the cooking? “My mum and I usually team up. We’re quite a formidable duo in the kitchen.”

Stevens is well-spoken but not as posh as he seems. Now 35, he was adopted at seven days old, and raised in Wiltshire, Essex and Brecon in Wales. He spent his early teenage years rebelling against anything and everything, but still got the grades to win a scholarship to a prestigious boys’ boarding school in Kent at 13. He wasn’t happy, feeling isolated and as if he didn’t fit in with the other kids. What was going on? “I dunno. I guess I didn’t always toe the line,” he answers a tad testily, and with a definite air of finality.

I mention that going to a top university from a comprehensive, I always felt envious of the privately educated kids who never questioned whether they were talented enough to be in the room. “The entitlement thing is a problem,” Stevens says. “It’s interesting, living in America and seeing a different system. It’s definitely got as many flaws, but there is a sense that your own achievement and drive and curiosity can achieve great things, in a way that I think is stifled in Britain.”

By the time he landed Downton, Stevens had already toured the US opposite Rebecca Hall in a production of As You Like It, and appeared on stage in the West End with Judi Dench. Did he feel any disgruntlement at the time – being a Serious Actor suddenly lumped in with a Sunday night soap opera? He shakes his head: “I never felt that people weren’t taking me seriously. I did appreciate that some people were watching Downton with a kind of ironic appreciation – perhaps the Guardian readership particularly…” he shoots me a grin, adding: “and my friends, too. But no. There was no resentment. I still see a lot of the guys. It changed all of our lives. It had a seismic effect on all our careers.”

It goes without saying that appearing in a show watched by 12 million people opened doors that appearing in off-Broadway Shakespeare never could. But as soon as he left the show he bolted for New York. What was that all about? Did the comparisons to the young Hugh Grant scare him out of the country? “No! I was just very excited about the work I was afforded over there. People there were prepared to see me do something dark and weirder. Or something action-y and mental. Or something big and silly, like Night at the Museum. It couldn’t have turned out better.”

As for Dickens, he got his instant classic. A Christmas Carol sold out its first run of 6,000 copies before Christmas Eve. The tale melted hearts of even the most dyed-in-the-wool cynics – one American businessman gave his staff an extra day’s holiday. Not that Dickens made the killing he’d hoped for. After getting carried away with gilt lettering and fancy paper, he never trousered the £1,000 he had banked on. God bless us, every one.

The Man Who Invented Christmas is out in the US; released in the UK on 1 December

[maxfreedmanwrites-blog]

MUSIC I LIKED IN 2017 THE MOST WRETCHED YEAR

It’s been a shit year for the world at large. Even when progressives gain more government seats, right-wing bullshit continues to enact hateful policies that expand the gap between the wealthy and everyone else. I truly mean it when I say that music, the conversations we have about it, and the many other people I know who care about it kept me going this year. This has always been true, but it felt even more true this year.

I’m not going to write about all of these at length like I did in my half-year post. Some might have comments like “wow, this aged well,” or “man, this didn’t age well,” or “I work with this band, and here’s how you can get to know them.” I’ll link to any ones I’ve written about. I’ll share listening links for all.

This year was quite good musically (but it’s no 2014, a year that still feels mythical):

Throughout, * means I work with the artist

SONGS

HONORABLE MENTION, IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER:

Arca - "Desafío" | from Arca

Balún - "Teletransporte" | single

Big Thief - "Shark Smile" | from Capacity

Blanck Mass - "Silent Treatment" | from World Eater

Blessed - "Headache" | from II (review at Post-Trash)

Fufanu - "Liability" * (we do their media, more love for them in Albums) | from Sports

Jay Som - "Baybee" | from Everybody Works

LCD Soundsystem - “how do you sleep” | from american dream

Leyya - "Zoo" ^ (used to work with these folks) | single

Makthaverskan - "in my dreams" | from III

Mozart's Sister - "My Heart Is Wild" | from Field of Love (feature at FLOOD)

Odonis Odonis - “Vision” | from No Pop

Shilpa Ray - “EMT Police and the Fire Department” | from Door Girl (review at Post-Trash)

TORRES - "Righteous Woman" | from Three Futures

“I am not a righteous woman/I’m more of an ass man”

Yoke Lore - "Only You" * (we do his radio, good interview at Atwood Magazine) | from Goodpain

Zola Jesus - "Veka” | from Okovi

Zula - “City World” | from 6 Passes (review at Post-Trash)

TOP 20, RANKED:

20. ​Palm - "Walkie Talkie" | from Shadow Expert

Though I’m iffy on the EP, I’m excited for the new album next year, and this song slays.

19. Omni - “Equestrian” | from Multi-task (review at Paste)

If all post-punk was this jerky and minimal, I wouldn’t complain.

18. ​Högni - “Crash” | from Two Trains

I saw this guy on a whim at Iceland Airwaves and haven’t been able to stop listening since then. The synth that comes in at 2:45 completes me.

17. ​Gabriel Garzón-Montano - "The Game" | from Jardín

16. ​Julien Baker - “Turn Out the Lights” | from Turn Out the Lights

Can we get more of Julien Baker doing the quiet-to-loud burst?

15. Hundred Waters - “Blanket Me” | from Communicating

This song is borderline melodramatic, and I really like it.

14. Lorde - “Green Light” | from Melodrama

Pop perfection, as we all know.

13. ​yaeji - “raingurl” | from EP2

12. Vince Staples - “Yeah Right” | from Big Fish Theory

boy yeah right yeah right yeah right. BOY YEAH RIGHT YEAH RIGHT YEAH RIGHT

11. zuli - “kubadiver” * (we do his radio, Rolling Stone says you should listen) | from on human freakout mountain

10. ​Mammút - "Kinder Versions" | from Kinder Versions

I don’t work directly with this band, but I work with Iceland Airwaves, which they play every year, and the Reykjavik Calling concert series, which they played this year. In their Stereogum interview, they talk about how this song came together, and it’s really interesting and a testament to what makes this song amazing.

9. ​Perfume Genius - "Wreath” | from No Shape

8. Kelela - “Frontline” | from Take Me Apart

This is the most straightforward song on the album. It’s weird that it’s my favorite.

7. Run the Jewels ft. Kamasi Washington - “Thursday in the Danger Room” | from RTJ3

I’m still not over the whole “Run the Jewels made a sad song” thing.

6. Dream Wife - “Somebody” | from Dream Wife

This song is so sticky and vicious in all the right ways. I’m having a bit of trouble getting into the couple of other songs from the self-titled debut LP coming out next year, but this song is awesome.

5. Kelly Lee Owens ft. Jenny Hval - “Anxi” | from Kelly Lee Owens (feature at FLOOD)

“CBM” is a bit better, but since the version on the album is no different than the version on last year’s Oleic, I’m not counting it here. Also, “Throwing Lines” is worth mentioning here too as a therapeutic slice of heaven.

4. (Sandy) Alex G - “Brick” | from Rocket

3. Moses Sumney - “Lonely World” | from Aromanticism

The 2017 version is produced differently than the 2016 version, so it’s on here. What a killer song.

2. St. Vincent - “Los Ageless” | from MASSEDUCTION (review at Paste)

This has been a St. Vincent classic since the very first time I heard it.

1. Priests - “JJ” | from Nothing Feels Natural

Okay, technically, it came out in October 2016 when the album was announced, but the album came out this year, and it’s amazing. So it’s on here. (Pitchfork said “Oblivion” was the best song of 2012, but it came out in 2011. This has precedent.)

ALBUMS

HONORABLE MENTION, IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER:

All Our Exes Live in Texas - When We Fall * (we do their radio and are pretty much their US/Canada spiritual guides) | Listen: “Tell Me”

Arca - Arca | Listen: “Reverie”

Big Thief - Capacity | Listen: “Mythological Beauty”

Blanck Mass - World Eater | Listen: “The Rat”

The Districts - Popular Manipulations (review at Paste) | Listen: “Salt”

Feist - Pleasure | Listen: “Century”

FOAM - Coping Mechanisms * (we did media outreach for them, New Noise Mag has more) | Listen: “Get on Board”

Hand Habits - Wildly Idle (Humble Before the Void) | Listen: “Actress”

Högni - Two Trains | Listen: “Komdu með”

Kendrick Lamar - DAMN. | everyone has listened to this, come on

Kllo - Backwater (review at Paste) | Listen: “Downfall”

Mozart's Sister - Field of Love (feature at FLOOD) | Listen: “Moment 2 Moment”

Omni - Multi-task (review at Paste) | Listen: “Southbound Station”

Palm - Shadow Expert EP | Listen: “Shadow Expert”

Protomartyr - Relatives in Descent | Listen: “Don’t Go to Anacita”

Soley - Endless Summer (review at Paste) | Listen: “Grow”

Sylvan Esso - What Now | Listen: “Kick Jump Twist”

This Is The Kit - Moonshine Freeze (review at Paste) | Listen: “Hotter Colder”

Yoke Lore - Goodpain * | Listen: “Goodpain”

Zola Jesus - Okovi | Listen: “Exhumed”

Zula - 6 Passes (review at Post-Trash)  | Listen: “All Except”

TOP 20, RANKED:

20. LCD Soundsystem - american dream | Listen: “tonite”

I thought I was over this band. I’m not. This may be my favorite album of theirs, but I don’t often make it through albums this long. “how do you sleep” is perfect.

19. Lorde - Melodrama | again, everyone has listened to this

18. Yaeji - yaeji EP/EP2 | Listen: “Feel It Out”

I’ve combined two EPs into an album! Yaeji is that good. Her debut album, whenever that comes, is going to be incredible.

17. Kelela - Take Me Apart​ | Listen: “LMK”

16. Julien Baker - Turn Out the Lights | Listen: “Appointments”

15. ​Gabriel Garzón-Montano - Jardín | Listen: “Sour Mango”

This album dropped a good deal from my half-year rankings. The great songs are still brilliant, but the others haven’t aged perfectly. Regardless, he’s a fantastic live performer.

14. Run the Jewels - RTJ3 | Listen: “Stay Gold”

Another case of “many songs still slay, others aged imperfectly.”

13. ​Mammút - Kinder Versions | Listen: “Breathe Into Me”

12. TORRES - Three Futures | Listen: “Three Futures”

It’s a St. Vincent album. I love St. Vincent. (TORRES has the words STRANGE MERCY tattooed on her forearm.)

11. Vince Staples - Big Fish Theory | Listen: “745″

10. Perfume Genius - No Shape | Listen: “Slip Away”

This is one of two albums ever about which I can say, “This sounds like nothing else I’ve ever heard, and it’s amazing.” The other is Portishead’s Third, which I listened to more this year than I listened to most of the albums on this list.

9. Zuli - on human freakout mountain * | Listen: “blaze”

Such a brilliant songwriter and dogmatic performer. Think Weezer plus Beach Boys, with Bitte Orca worship (aka me in the club) tossed in.

8. Kelly Lee Owens - Kelly Lee Owens | Listen: “CBM” (feature at FLOOD)

I was surprised at the more pastoral moments on the album at first, which is why it was lower on my half-year list. Those moments have aged brilliantly. I’d rank it even higher if I hadn’t already submitted my list to like three other places before publishing this.

7. Alvvays - Antisocialites | Listen: “Saved by a Waif”

Still the best pop band around. Simple songs, but not obvious, and so pristinely produced.

6. Moses Sumney - Aromanticism | Listen: “Plastic”

These songs never leave my head. What a weird and fascinating sound.

5. Fufanu - Sports * (we do media outreach for them, Stereogum has more) | Listen: “Sports”

Fufanu and Mammút are Iceland’s best rock bands, both live and on record. Sports is a brilliant mesh of rock and techno. I love working with these dudes.

4. (Sandy) Alex G - Rocket | Listen: “Proud”

I’ve gone from “Alex G is overrated as fuck” to “damn, Rocket is amazing.”

3. Jay Som - Everybody Works | Listen: “The Bus Song”

Most of the time, the cliche of a “record to get lost in” makes me roll my eyes. This is a record to get lost in.

2. St. Vincent - MASSEDUCTION (review at Paste) | Listen: “Pills”

My favorite artist of all time has a new album! It’s amazing! For the first time, it’s a grower, not an instant hit. It’s no Strange Mercy, but I prefer it a bit more than the always fantastic Actor. I definitely like it more than the weird and lovable St. Vincent and the precious but still solid Marry Me.

1. Priests - Nothing Feels Natural | Listen: “Nothing Feels Natural”

I expect this album to make my top ten of the decade. I’ve already rambled enough about how much I love it. I promise you it’s worth a listen. Hell, I ranked it higher than a St. Vincent album. That should tell you everything.