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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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things from The Halloween Update that are concerning me more than i already am about Eddie:

his Frankenstein's Monster costume turning his face (and hands. ha, hands, like the hands on a-) half yellow half blue/purple like the clocks & Sally's door. that's fucking me up a little ngl

Eddie tacks "A bit of a moral conundrum-" onto his description of Frankenstein's Monster, who he's costumed as. which seems out of place with the rest of his description. he could've said "bolts" or "white streak in his hair" or another physical trait. nope. Moral Conundrum (one could also describe his costume as "two-faced"...). and the fact that he's dressed specifically as someone who was "brought back from the dead" makes me 👁️👁️. kinda reminds me of a certain set of artworks from Clown's tumblr a while back...

Eddie, despite his whole schtick being "bad memory", was the only one to accurately recognize Sally's costume as pedrolino from the Commedia dell'arte. could be a little 'inside joke', might be something else. i suspect it's something else due to his... ah... Everything.

#yk im starting to wonder if eddie's meant to have a naturally bad memory #or if something is purposefully fucking with em more than with anyone else #bc he seems to have these little moments where hes On Top Of It #kinda like moments of lucidity almost? hm....#eddie dear what have you seen? why are you Singled Out?#the wrist watch / his eyelashes matching home's (whatever the rounded things under the sills are)#his halloween costume / his memory problems / the fucking tiny secrets sprinkled all over his post office / his color being purple #hi eddie how does it feel to have main character syndrome #jesting! kinda #eddison edward eduardo edmund edgar edwin edmundo. what the hell is your deal im dying to know #wh speculation #welcome home speculation #homebogging #i wonder. i. wonder...#if eddie got Caught by whatever is out there at night #maybe he didnt know to stay in doors. maybe he realized he forgot to deliver something and thought 'better late than never'#maybe the town mailman is too important to simply Remove so he had to be dealt with a different way #or wait maybe someone saved him? wally perhaps? home? id(k?)#a worse memory so that he doesnt remember what happened?#a personal clock on him at all times so that he never loses track of the time of day?#an overactive fear-response to make sure he stays in his lane Despite him apparently enjoying scary things?#kinda sticks with the 'frankensteins monster' thing dontcha think? brought back from the dead? Stitched back together?#and the monster was an emotional sensitive character. like eddie. IDK idk im just rambling now

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solarwreathe · 9 months

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christmas with no limits

really, this art was all an excuse to show you this image. i miss when old movie promo photos were awkward as shit.

#home alone #wet bandits #merry christmas #christmas art #christmas movies #really what do i tag this as #'solar is everything okay? you've barely drawn any weird ugly men lately'#no but fr i need to fetch an ugly man muse every few months to keep my art alive. this is the molting part of my life cycle #im proud of how i caricatured harry but what you see of marv is my 4th attempt and i'm still not satisfied. it doesn't look like him!#he veers more towards the pompous brand of bearded villain than the weed smoker he actually is #anyway little anecdote: home alone is one of the first movies i remember watching. we saw it in school on one of them old tellies on wheels #i didn't know much of america yet. being a toddler. so the whole time i was like:#why's it such a big deal the family's trapped in paris? it's an hours flight...

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sideblogdotjpeg · 1 month

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i am not immune to launchpad sol and albin thoughts

#ramble tag #its so like. okay.#launchpad was when they 'peaked'. best years of their lives #the . i think what we canonically know happened at launchpad was like.#laquidditch (fun!) christmas special adventures (fun!)#and then . also #getting deeply bullied. sol lightly kidnapped to launchpad. lizer. claudius. 'you made us run until we threw up' 'im pretty sure he got off #on torturing kids'. literally what the fuck was their deal #getting stuck in a spiders web ???? for a semester ?????#......??? getting chased down by a vaccum cleaner ..........#'it got a lot darker near the end' ... fun pretend child endangerment #like . man.#not to sound CRAZY or anything. does anyone get the impression launchpad was like. a bad ? time ? for them ?? like. it just straight up. bad #by god does it rlly sound to me like #the feeling of when high school was so bad it made ur life a living hell to be in. and u were truly just. surviving #but then youd b goofing off w ur friends in a little dorm. and the stress and the exhaustion seems to color everything that isnt that.#in a beautiful hazy rosy golden film #it hurt but the hurt was monotonous and dull. so all u remember were those shining bright in betweens #sol and albie sneaking into the kitchen and enchanting the self moving cookingware and just seeing what happens #and watching mothership approved saturday morning cartoons in bed #and studying together late at night n sol tucks albin in after hes crashed from hiss allnighter #and passing notes in class #and all that free time over crittermas breaks to do stupid dares and long rambling conversations abt nothing #sol knits albie his first sweater #they have their first beer together #they come back after a really bad day for the both of them and lie on the floor and talk abt anything but that #albin practices spells on sol and its not a good or safe idea but its probably fine #albin pettily bitching about his assigned partner for an arcana class project and sol blindly tsking his side always #only wizards can check out library books and albie checks out all sols books for him #...... anyway

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skunkes · 11 months

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might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.

any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc

#(as well as the opposite: Big Event that maybe shocks everyone around em but they genuinely werent shaken by)#though this one is more common and leads to those ''ohh i didnt know that was normal oops'' moments #talkys #inspired by recent me and friend events #and also recent events where i told sum ppl more stuff about Thing and they responded as if it wasnt a big deal. but it was to me.#and also how i thought a part of al's childhood backstory was kind of maybe dumb and not realistically as impactful as id expect #but i saw someone on reddit almost word for word write that as their experience and how its shaped em as a person #and thats it like... the small things are boring and hard to keep track of sometimes #its not like you'll include every single little event your oc was shaped by in their bio #but idk. its like Fun to piece together for fun. to mold a human being #ykwim? wld be silly to tell everyone ''oh my oc struggles with self image due to many instances like... when their sister called em ugly''#or write it anywhere but it is fun to Know and have in your head. and its real !#just like if a friend told you about something that happened to em #long post #delete later #sorry i keep saying stupid obvious shit lately ive always been bad at oc making AND socializing so im learning everything late #but anyway yes. idk even as i keep making ocs that are ''similar'' its like. every person so different #people can react to anything in any way for any reason. i love people #this is why i struggle a bit with keeping ocs to archetypes i guess bc like. what is ooc for an oc. people contain contradictions all the #time. you can change yourself at any time.#ok nobody will read this far so ill go to the real insane rambling #part of this has been a part of my chats with talon while trying to get him to share more info #like. yeah ok you're 400+ years old the things that happened to you were such a comparatively small part of your life #but humans dont live as long and think about small things until they die. i dont think time would heal all wounds actually. not all of em #some thoughts just always come to gnaw at your brain. its ok to not be over things. i feel ill never be over some things #and also complainerism can be fun but thats something else entirely wee hee ^_^

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liquidstar · 6 months

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a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

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mirrorhouse · 8 months

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#maybe i am a little annoyed or. whatever over stuff i put some effort into getting right clicked and saved and cropped and posted on twitter #or pinterest or wherever #even tho its not really '''art'''' technically so ? am i allowed to feel like that? idk #it feels silly to get frustrated over.. screenshots and gifs and little mods i never even published #but things do take time to make and then seeing them posted by someone who talks about how much they like thembut not where they found them #or who put that effort into making them......... ahh #And. because i dont know how im supposed to feel im definitely not gonna roll up to people like 'hey i made this credit me now' because #i tell myself who cares its not that big of a deal. but then it is . but it isnt.#i have bigger problems but when its late and my brains getting empty i think too much about nothing #★

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tanicus-caesareth · 5 months

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guarana drama, damage control

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todayisafridaynight · 6 months

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any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that

if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it

#snap chats #no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game #oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH.#id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k #OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think #my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious #rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final #HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE #i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that #i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki #someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it #like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but #i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital #the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe #cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion.#yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3 #its a real head scratcher ...#a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think #it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little #and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened'#im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways....#sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly #idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me #THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED #i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell #is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form #i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments #BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow #im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE

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a-rebellious-waffle · 1 month

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urgh you know that post about "people who weren't abused don't wish they were abused"

I'm having a real fun night wrestling with that

#add these together real quick for me #high expectations plus high capability but executive dysfunction making me fail at school for 17 years 12 grades and one year of college #fucked sleep cycle bc i was recovering from school so late into the night that i rarely got more than 6-7 hours meaning i woke up sleepy #for all of high school needing to run to school to not be late so on top of waking up late I'm also exhausted when i get to school #having friends but no real close friends *in* school plus a bad relationship giving me serious abandonment issues #and dealing with parents and family that constantly Know Better Than Me especially when im being political #plus ADHD making it difficult for me to argue effectively or even converse for a long time bc i lose focus and space out way too easily #i don't. i. i just. urgh. i know i'm a bit of a basket case but i don't have to like it #...can't even cuddle my blahaj right now... hell world hell world hell world #i think i will simply try to cry. i say try bc i spent years suppressing my ability to cry bc i was supposed to Be A Man and Men Don't Cry #so that'll probably fail. but ill try anyway. and put on some music #then fall asleep and hope that i wake up feeling a little better #...i think im an optimist bc pessimism would kill me

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 10 months

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the thing about chronic migraines that they dont tell you is the lingering terror of the long stretches in between them. bc you know you'll have one again. its inevitable. its just a matter of time.

but then you desperately try Not to think about it because you dont want to jinx it / somehow psyche yourself into one

#its been a little over two months and im scared #its gonna be a bad one i know it....#but i will continue on doing my best to ignore it #freaking out every time its a little harder to think or i get a spot in my vision #im doubly scared one will hit while im driving.... especially when i need to take the long drive into the city #migraine + winding roads = Oh No #absolutely unprompted #migraines i hate you i Hate you #and the extra fear is it always fucks with my brain for a while afterwards #ive been able to think so clearly lately #and im terrified of losing that. its like they scramble my neurons #and it takes so long for them to untangle....#ive been dealing w this since 6th grade and ill never get used to it #its horrible....#that being said if anyone reading this is ever writing about migrained #Oh Boy Do I Have Firsthand Experience For You!!!!#*migraines. typing on phone rn

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maxaroniiiii · 2 years

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yippee! new year time!

#pokemon #ingo #emmet #submas #chandelure #eelektross #my art #i like drawing eelektross!#i love chandelure but i have no fun drawing it.#im so sleepy so im not drawing any thing for new years #take this i was supposed to post it like a week ago but forgot #maybe ill draw a late new years thing tomorrow? who knows #i think they would have framed pictures of every thomas the tank engine character.#i got a thomas the tank engine cross stitch book for christmas :)#im disappointed that the patterns are very simple but it is simply something ill have to deal with.#i do like it tho its very funny to me #ive been crossstitching and stuff since i was really little so im glad that i got something related to my interests #that doesnt happen very often #even if it was a joke gift

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post-futurism · 1 year

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i said to my partner that when/if we own our own house i need a room that has a lock on it so i can write in there and he looked at me and said "that is such an only child thing to say" and so what if it is? a writer needs their privacy and solitude in which to write.

#something something virginia woolf #anyway when he says things like this it does make me despair a little #is it unreasonable to want a lock so that he doesn't burst in when im in the middle of thought #the alternative is going to the library but my town's library isn't open late at night #there are not many qualities i dislike in him but i do not like his continual invasion of my private time #i deal with it in my own ways and a lock would help #but i do wonder if I'm being unfair #he isn't a creative so I'm not sure he understands #i think it's troubling that he would be invasive to his siblings like that too #which i know he does #anyway idk

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crybaby-bkg · 1 year

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I think I might take a break from writing on here (quite possible a lie) </3

#mainly bc I won that publishing deal #so I have to finish the book I’ve been writing #and I find myself prioritizing writing fics over my book bc I’m like ‘oh there’s no rush to finish my book’#but now I’m like. I don’t know how much time has to pass before my opportunity expires LOL #I’m about 60% finished with it im pretty sure #but I just need to focus all my attention on it #also my writing on here has been flipping lately and I feel like boo-boo about it LOL #FLOPPING not flipping #I said possible lie tho bc I wanna take a break but knowing me #I’ll get an idea and be like wow x person on tumblr would love this actually lemme write it lol #so I might still write small short blurbs every now and again #but probably no long fics and stuff for a while #…..after I write my sex toy store worker Hitoshi AKSHDKFJDKFJ #this is why it’s taken me three years to write 75k words LOL #sorry I’m rambling i just feel a little guilty #also feel bad bc I think I’m allergic to steroids lol everything sucks #—in store chit chat! 🍫

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daydadahlias · 1 year

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WAIT WHERES MIM?!?! PLEASE TELL ME YOU’LL RELEASE THAT ONE AGAIN PLEASE

I need you guys to understand that the reason I took down my stuff was for my own peace of mind because they're my stories and i started feeling unsafe having them out because of how they - and I - were being treated.

absolutely nothing is wrong with mim and I love that fic and I care so much about it which is why - for my peace of mind - i want it to belong to only me rn. I know the fic was only out a month after i finished it and that really upsets me about taking it down. i want to reupload it because i know people like the fic and i love sharing my stuff but also there's that level of how much the fic matters to me and how much more devastating it makes it when people are cruel. and how much it hurts when I, as the creator of something, am treated like I don't matter at all and that my stuff can so easily be stolen or copied. like, it's an extension of me, yknow? You can't separate content and creator in such a small and intimate sphere as fandom. like, you guys all use my first name when referring to me, yknow?? there's that sense of connection. and since it's such an intimate space, having that trust be betrayed or disrespected is so much more potent than if we were in a large fandom with a lot of creators.

the fear of having MiM copied is really immense and real for me rn and i know that's potentially me being overly paranoid but considering the Amount of times this has started to happen - and how blatantly rude and nasty and entitled readers have been getting with me and other creators over the last year - it's definitely not out of the realm of possibility.

MiM wasn't written for readers, it was written for me. and i shared it because i wanted to and that was wonderful. but to have any of my stuff stepped on so much just doesn't make me feel very safe in this fandom space rn and makes it hard to let people have access to something that matters so much to me.

I'm not saying MiM has been deleted forever, I'm just saying i want some more time for it to be mine.

#like i thought about not uploading scene 14 too especially bc she HAS been stolen verbatim before but.#at this point it just feels too late bc so many people have already read it #yeah i have a lot of conflicting feelings and im not saying i'll never repost mim but i just need some more time with her yknow????#like she matters a *lot* to me. and im allowed to be a little finicky with her #and this has been just so. immensely hurtful lately #like i spent most of the weekend crying my eyes out over this stuff because it's just so. hard. to consistently share things #and *have* consistently shared things for three years #and to actively *see* the change that's been occuring in this fandom where people just started treating content like it was consumable #and dispensable. and then started just *expecting* things from me and demanding fics or being pointblank rude and like...#i just dont have time for it yknow??#this stuff is supposed to be *fun*. i do it in my free time and share it with strangers for free bc i want to share the fun with others #and when people start disrespecting that. it makes it hard #like ive had so much more fun in the last week writing fic solely for myself and *not* sharing it than i have in. like. the last month #bc whenever i share fic publicly now. i know im going to have to deal with people potentially stealing it.#or not giving a shit about it and just asking when the next thing is coming. or going on twitter and ? talking about me publicly #where i cant even see it #like it's just been *so* many things lately. and it's hard when this is something i should only be doing to make me happy.#and it's been causing me sm stress instead.#and the fact that i took a week off tumblr and like. i got several pretty?? shitty asks?? that really undermined my feelings on everything.#and made it about themselves like #i dont know how to explain to you guys that we're all people and the whole point of fandom is to *share* with each other #not take.#so yeah i want to be able to share my stuff again and feel comfortable doing that but right now i just dont #and im gonna. get off my soapbox now ok <3 #the biggest thing is that. people act so overly familiar with me by calling me jess in asks and comments and acting like they know me #and then somehow. they are also so mean and devaluing of me? i cant really make sense of it.#ok enough of me. talking about myself. and venting #pigeon #anon

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pepprs · 1 year

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ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do

#purrs #i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life #situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to #drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a #stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well.#i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i #am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone #and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good.#delete later #that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd #this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be #neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority #and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol.#24 year old dependent moment <3 #well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will #never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰#side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester #starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like #this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it #would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or #anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol #well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3

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bunnyb34r · 1 year

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I'm so burnt out my dudes

#explains why the past two weeks ive been at my limit/only have like 2 spoons to deal with after work and by god do they go fast #like the tolerance i have for anything is so low lately and im sure it's autism burnout :/#and idk what to do ab it bc i can't bring up the tism to my therapist bc oh youre not autistic. bitch i mask well ive had to for 20 years #straight! and i only talk to you for an hour once a month so like... how would you know #anyway i have 0 tolerance for like anything anymore and it's so frustrating #and sometimes i give into that and will seek out shit that will make me mad so i have SOMEBODY to blame my anger on #i dont interact other than reading/lurking but i sit here irl bitching to myself like 'yeah that happens bc youre a little fucking brat'#and most of the shit is stuff id roll my eyes at and scroll past in a good/neutral mood! but the burnout brain is like no theyre doing this #on PURPOSE they're like this to piss me off specifically. and it's like... how do i channel this energy into a non harmful way when #im so fucking burnt out? aside from stepping away from social media bc id seek it out elsewhere lmao trust me id pry ab my #cousins bc they are so fucking stupid and rude and the 'perfect' ones to latch onto and bitch ab bc my brain needs something to #justify this rage and anger and it's so stupid but sometimes that anger feels good? idk it's stupid but like i said i never interact #directly bc im not an asshole lmao im not gonna like call my cousins and be like lol yeah thats all your fault xoxo hope that helps bitch!#marquilla #idk where i was going with this lmao #this barbie has autistic burnout!

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