Tumgik
#i know it took me extremely long
mipexch · 11 months
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comic about v2 and the goal they'll never fully reach alongside a dissatisfying conclusion. intimate rivalry and all (alternative ending comic. V1 dies instead of V2 during 4-4. V2 is narrating. V1 is dead.)
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warlock wizard Wally scribbles... Thinkings! oh and a bonus bard-ish Barnabys in the corner for flavor
outfit ramblings:
first of all that is a Terrible rendition of what Home looks like in my head. i just needed to fill empty space </3
the staff was the toughest part honestly. bc it Had to be paintbrush-themed, but then halfway through scribbling i was like "oh shit. there are only so many ways to draw a paintbrush-wizard-staff and Weevmo already hit it out of the park." so if you're seeing similarities! you're right! i tried to make it as different as i could! there is Inspiration from their marvelous design, however accidental or subconscious! Apologies!
he gets a pointed hood instead of a hat because a) it looks great on him! and b) it has less of a chance of messing up his hair! also c) it helps muddle the difference between Wizard and Warlock. typically hoods have evil/duplicitous connotation - blur the lines! i want his long gloves and forearm wraps to have the same vibe. his neckerchief is a big help in hiding Home's seal!
his layered (loosely apple-themed) capelet (which the hood is attached to) has a nice high collar & hides the details of his loose shirt - eye embroidery! and some flowers on the shoulders but yk, mostly eyes. on one side of the shirt buttons has open eyes, the other side they're closed! there's also one big eye on his back!
his belt buckle is two halves of an apple! he wears tall thigh-high boots w/ low heels to feel Taller! he has a book-holster hooked to the back of his belt, which holds his grimoire! and he has a lil thigh-bag that has been magicked to be Bottomless and warps size! he can fit pretty much anything in there! canvases! paint! apples!
his half-skirt thing (idk what the word for it is!) is really plush, like a quilt - his capelet is the same fabric. soft, cozy. sometimes he'll use the skirt thing as a blanket in a pinch, or as a picnic placemat!
is his outfit a little Complicated? is it annoying to replicate? yes and yes. but im a maximalist at heart and Nothing But The Best for the blorbo <3 layers my beloved <3
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fleouriarts · 2 months
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yet another person has fallen victim to my furry beam... ericdoa is now in the hmfcu (hivemind furry cinematic universe) as a ring-tailed lemur. i was so stumped on what to make him and then i realized i've never given someone a lemur sona or even made a lemur oc despite really liking them. i had to remedy that
also when i asked people if they had ideas for his sona literally everyone said 'make him something tiny with huge eyes'. lemurs are small enough and their eyes are pretty striking. works for me
originally finished 4-18-2024
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dennisboobs · 6 months
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#the reason cisswap lesbian macden does nothing for me is bc i get my dose of lesbianism from canon charden <3#i say it (jokingly) all the time but i think if the sunny fandom was more open to charden y'all would have more fun#everything ppl do with macden to make it ~more fun~ is literally. already there with charden#macden is a lot of fun in its own way but if i want butch/femme lesbians i have charden already--#this is literally why i ship both. if i want to fuck around with gender i can throw charden together#if i want to fuck around with weird codependent loser roommates i can throw macden together#they have different dynamics and both bring different shit to the table#also idk such a massive part of dennis is his (often unapologetic but still stifled) more 'feminine' gender expression#so making him a cis woman who likes being feminine is like. yea. that sure is. cis woman dennis.#as someone who has an extremely complicated history w expressing femininity or anything that is even seen as being remotely femme#it doesn't grab me#the genderfuckery is not there#but TRANSBIAN CHARDEN???? YEAAAAAH#i think mac being so focused on upholding traditional mascilinity IS a very interesting dynamic to have next to. you know. dennis.#wheras charlie could not give less of a fuck#i think gender exploration with macden would take a completely different form but still be extremely interesting for both of them#but there's a lot less initial acceptance and a lot more hiding on den's part#especially if the two are in a relationship#because mac coming to terms with being gay took so long so dennis being at all feminine or even transfem is like#mac needs to do. more introspection#which is an entirely different set of issues to charden gender exploration where like#charlie being nonconforming. not shaving. not caring abt using she/her pronouns. being nontraditional in every way and not giving a fuck#would be absolutely fucking absurd to dennis who is very conformist after she comes out#and would probably be content to conform to whats expected of her as a woman with mac IF she did manage to come out at all#bc dennis would have to actually manage to come out. instead of hiding the fact she's trans > looking at carmen and the way mac treated her#i think both paths have additional challenges and that's. you know. whats interesting.#is cisswap den butchy? does she hide her masculine interests? is denise transmasc...??#cisswap mac being butch is like. you know. nonconforming so it doesn't quite do the same thing as canon mac either#mac being Traditional and catholic and having to push past homophobia (internalized and externalized) to be himself is. pretty huge#would cisswap mac be a tradwife. like. thats sort of the equivalent
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xiphoid-processing · 1 year
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The Sacking of Sirion -- The Third Kinslaying
I didn't really know what else to do with this so im posting it lmao, also you might wanna turn un brightness a bit
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kooki914 · 5 days
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Spadesgorudy shipper has returned! (I got this idea from the incorrect quote person)
Rudy, watching Asgore and Spade from afar: Two Bros, Chillin in a hot tub. Five feet apart because they think they’re not gay, BUT THEY REALLY ARE-
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Rudy: And now for a gay update with Asgore and Spade.
Asgore: Getting gayer.
Rudy: Thank you, Asgore.
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Asgore: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted.
Rudy: I’m “a couple of things”.
Spade: I’m “got distracted”.
(They actually did him-)
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Rudy: Who do we know that has handcuffs?
Spade: Well Asgore and I-
Asgore: *elbows Spade*
Spade: ...wouldn't know.
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Asgore: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one.
Rudy: Erm... it’s nice see your smile when you win!
*later*
Asgore: He’s probably just staring at my ass, isn’t he?
Spade: Yeah, probably.
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Asgore, laying between spade and Rudy: I have found the meaning of life
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— ♠️🌸❄️
I'm sorry it took 12 billion years for me to get back to answering asks please accept my humble spadesgorudy donations
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lieutenant-amuel · 8 months
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youtube
He’s just Gabe and he’s great at doing stuff.
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sskk-manifesto · 3 months
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Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )
#And Kouyou!!!!#Also. I can say Steinbeck is kinda 👀👀👀#King of the specific category of “I forget I like him until he's on screen”#I'm seriously unlocking memories with this rewatch. Like I haven't thought about it in two years–#but I just know when I was watching the anime for the first time I was being like#“Of COURSE the villains need to spend several minutes each episode explaining in detail how their own superpowers work so that the–#protagonists can get a perfect idea of how to best counter them. Why are villains made so freaking stupid in this show” aljhvwslchvqliyqwb#But. Eh. I guess that's just bsd to you.#Alsoooooo random thought of the day: I don't really favour how Tanizaki's ability was adapted in the anime.#I very well understand they were going for this green Matrix-like illusion effect‚ but every time someone says “... Snow?”#I'm like please explain where do you live that has snow glowing green.#Aamsjgvfaskjhfv sorry this is me being very. Cranky and nitpicky and having terrible audience etiquette in refusing to–#engage in suspension of disbelief. It just bugs me akvakcvqkyb I just feel like... Green is such a non-snow color–#that quite of completely disrupts the Light Snow / Sasame Yuki aesthetic. I would have liked it much better light blue or simply white.#What else. The way the Guild just goes on at stereotypes still troubles me a lot. The “usamericans can't be touched by laws–#because they use money to corrupt anyone” “foreign criminal organization come in our country to corrupt our pure and untouched soil”#Idk. Maybe all of it is true. Can it still be deemed a stereotype when it's objectively something that's happened before–#and will probably keep happening?#I suppose I'm just not a fan of the constant hostility against any foreigner. Idk.#This situation besides is extremely ironical. If you meet me irl it probably won't take long to see me being very outspoken about–#how much I despise usa cultural colonization of all other countries. It's something that really bothers me‚ how rooted and pervasive–#their influence is. So in a lot of ways I can relate to the author's sentiment#I just feel that. If you start treating them as stereotypes and ignore the complexity of a country and the wide spectrum of causes–#that contribute to its attitude in international relations. You end up practicing precisely what you're trying to criticize.#Okay this is the last time I'm getting into the politics of the Guild arc lol#random rambles#This time I took watching the episode slow I feel a little late
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hecate-valentine · 10 months
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Dirty Valentine
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Pairing: Vincent Valentine x OC (Laena)
WARNINGS: Mentions of past rape, self-harm, abuse and assault, experiments, creepy Hojo and horrible corporations, creepy and perverted old man. Themes of religious guilt. Psychological trauma
Content Warning: Oral sex, (F! receiving) breast play, vaginal fingering, inexperienced but also VERY experienced Vincent, praise kink, female orgasm, first-time orgasm, creampie
Word count: 8048 (help)
The rest of the group had long since retired for the night. All except for Vincent and Laena, who sat beside each other in front of the fireplace's dwindling flame in the camp's center. The orange of the fire illuminated both of their features, and Vincent found himself struggling not to turn and look at Laena. It has been a long while since she first joined the group, and in that time, Vincent and the Cetra woman grew to be close. After the death of Aerith, Laenas’ cousin, she spent many long nights awake, quietly sobbing and trembling, making her leave the comforts of the tent she shared with Vincent and go wherever she could letting loose her frustrations and grief.
Many instances occurred where Vincent would find her away from the camp, offering her comfort and solace in his presence. He was not too close to Aerith, but he knew the pain that came with losing a close friend and family member. And the longer he spent in her presence and knowing her, he grew even more moonstruck with her. She was kind, sweet, and most of all, innocent, contrary to what she thinks because of what had happened to her during her captivity at Shinra. 
He wanted to fight these feelings of affection because of the things that happened to Lucrecia, but he was no longer in control of what his heart wanted. It terrified him. These feelings were solidified after a rough transformation during a fight and a daring rescue. Everyone scattered away from Vincent as he struggled to regain control, destroying everything in his path and roaring. Laena was the only one who didn’t run away from him. Instead, she approached him, extending a hand and a firm look in her eyes as she looked into his. The beast wanted to tear Laena to shreds and eat her insides, but Vincent wrestled with that part of him, eventually winning as he crashed to his knees and turned back to his human form, breathing heavily and coughing blood. She quickly attended to him and kept him grounded, even as Barret and Cid helped him back to camp. 
Especially the time after she had first joined the group. It was two weeks after she was found. The group had gone scouting the land and surroundings for more resources. Laena was still much too weak, so she stayed behind with Yuffie and Tifa to watch over the camp and her. Many squads of the best Shinra troops set upon the camp, looking for her. Yuffie and Tifa were overwhelmed and sent Laena off to find the group for aid. Laena was cornered on a tall cliff, the troops pushing her closer and closer to the edge.
Luckily, the group emerged on an opposing cliff that was closer to the water. With one small misstep, Laena fell from the cliff. Vincent, being Vincent, was the first to respond and quickly sprouted wings, flying to her and catching her in mid-air. Once on the land after flying back up with Laena in his arms, Vincent made quick work of dealing with the troops that pushed her off. He was furious and violent. 
Laena remembered those days very clearly. It was only a few days after Aerith died and Laena needed to find a way to repay Vincent for being there for her when she needed someone and protecting her from the troops. She stayed beside him for five days, watching over him and using whatever magic she could to ease any injury from his intense transformation. She never left him. 
Vincent turned his head to Laena as she looked up at the night sky. It reminded him of the day that they first talked together.
“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” He asked, repeating what she first told him the first time they interacted. She turned her head, looking at him with a raised brow. She chuckled and looked down, hiding her face.
“Don’t make fun of me, Vincent.” She jested. He hid his face behind the high collar of his cloak, hiding the small smile on his face. She removed her gloves and held her hands out before the fire. His eyes wandered over her hands and to her arms and then her face. She was pale, no matter how long she spent under the sun, her skin never darkened. She had long red hair that flowed in waves down her back and chest and bright green eyes. Her face was decorated with freckles that went down her arms and faded into less sparse ones on her hands. Much like Vincent, she wore black and red colors. A black long-sleeve shirt that clung to her with a long red overcoat and black pants and boots with black leather gloves. The shirt was low-cut enough to reveal her collarbone and not hide the pendant she wore that held her summoning materia. Much like Aerith, she took to the mage route, and after Aerith passed, Laena inherited the staff that was used by the younger and half-blooded Cetra. Laena quickly proved to be a force to be reckoned with when she pulled the staff out, making the group frightful whenever she was ready to attack.
Except Vincent. In many instances, whenever they were surrounded, the two of them stood back-to-back. Though both of them were more capable of long-range attacks, they weren’t afraid to get down and dirty, that much was known when Laena dealt with a Demon by charging it and pulling out a knife, stabbing it through the head. As it fell, lifeless and trembling from its nerves being struck, there was a shift in the air surrounding the party, and it came from Laena. She climbed on its body, repeatedly shoving her knife into its head, blood spraying out on the ground and her face and clothes. The party watched as she did this while sobbing. 
Vincent watched as well, his eyes wide with shock and partially horror. The way she was acting, was a trauma response from whatever happened to her at Shinra. He approached her and pulled her from the corpse, holding her close and turning his back on the body, hiding her from its view.
“Let me go!” She screamed and cried, even going to hold the knife once more with the intent of stabbing Vincent. He grabbed her wrist, stopped her, and spoke to her in an attempt to calm her down.
“Laena, please. It’s alright. You’re not there anymore.” His voice was clear and loud enough for only the two of them to hear. Her cries ceased, and her screams fell into silence. Her breathing was heavy and her eyes closed. She dropped the knife and went limp in his grip.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered, her voice cracking. He shook his head, shushing her, placing his gauntlet-covered hand on her head, caressing her to calm her down. Later that night at camp, when Vincent had asked her about what happened to give her a reaction like that, she told him the whole truth: She was sold to Shinra at ten years old by her stepfather when her mother died in childbirth. Her stepfather worked with Shinra and had told her she was going to get a better education through Shinra, but she found out later he gave her over to them for a promotion. Much like other Cetra’s that were taken by Shinra, like her cousin and aunt, she was experimented on daily, experiments that turned her into something else, something not entirely human. But all that changed when she turned eighteen. 
The President raped her, many times until she escaped when she was 24 years old. She was damaged, ruined, in her eyes, violated, and left to rot. Everything that transpired since then was done purely to break her, body and mind, so she could lead Shinra to the Promised Land for the boundless Mako that was said to be there as a mindless puppet. Many of the things that were done to her by the hands of Hojo and his department included forcing her to listen to the recordings of the President forcing himself on her, making her listen to how she cried and screamed for help, and begging him to stop. But he never did, not until he got his fill and left her battered, bruised, and bleeding. Other methods included physically assaulting her and running various tests on her. For all the years of abuse she endured at the hands of the President, she had never once fallen with a child. In Hojo’s words, it was “a curious circumstance, one to be explored”.
Vincent was disgusted. Not with her, never with her, but with Shinra. He was disgusted at how they could treat someone like her as a toy to be used for some old man and how no one once stepped in to stop. But how could they have when no one but the President, Hojo, and the R&D Department knew of her existence in the tower? He was angry beyond reason, at both the company and the world for letting that happen to her, and angry at whatever God there was that sat back and watched these acts against her. His anger towards the corporation grew when she showed him the several scars along her wrists, inflicted by her and her alone.
“I wanted control over myself. But I…also felt the need to punish myself and to remind myself that I am still a human, no matter what they did to me.”
“You were a child.”
Vincent let his eyes fall on Laena once more. He debated speaking up about how he thought about her, but he knew it would be better to get it off his chest rather than letting it fester inside and then watching something horrific happen to her before his very eyes while he is unable to stop it. He feared her death more than any possible rejection he would receive from her. 
“You are very beautiful, Laena.” He spoke up. She quickly turned her head to look at him. She met the gaze of his red eyes that stared intensely at her. They were full of affection for her, and honesty. He was always brutally honest with those in the camp, even in the case where honesty was not necessary. Laena smiled and turned her head from him.
“Thank you, Vincent. I…wish I knew how to respond to that.” She said and turned her head back to look at him. He shook his head.
“You don’t have to respond. And thank you for…watching over me after that transformation.” Vincent said. Laena smiled and nodded. That damned smile. He adjusted to sit closer to her, their legs only an inch away from each other now. She kept her head facing him, watching his expressions and body language.
“You’re welcome. I thought it necessary considering how you stood by me when Aerith left us. Now you owe me.” Laena jested with a smile. Vincent chuckled and raised a brow at her. His collar was lower now, showing Lavena the small smile that covered his face.
“Oh, do I?” He asked. She nodded, still smiling. Both of them started leaning in closer, not realizing they were doing that.
“Yes, you do, Valentine.” She said. Both of them realize they were both leaning in when their faces were only inches apart, their breaths were light, but both can feel it on their faces. Laena pulled back, her face turning bright red. Vincent was amused by her face turning red, making him smile even more.
“I’m…going to bed, Vincent. Goodnight.” She said and stood up. Something stirred in Vincent as he watched her reaction, like a sort of confidence and satisfaction. He nodded and looked to the fire once more.
“Goodnight, Laena.” He said. He watched her walk to their joined tent. She paused before turning her head, seeing Vincent looking at her. She shot him a look, full of mischievous playfulness, almost like she was inviting him to join her for some…explicit behavior. He was hesitant to respond, considering her past experiences with sexual behaviors. Damnit all. Vincent stood from the ground with a sigh and approached her, slowly. She stepped into the tent and turned the heat lamp to its dimmest setting.
Vincent stepped into the tent after her, pulling off his cape and setting it on his bedroll. Once aside, Vincent approached Laena. His body was inches away from hers, back to front. So close, yet so far. Reaching his gauntleted hand out, he grasped her shoulder, holding in a soft grip. With his hand on her shoulder, he inched forward, pressing their bodies together.
“I won’t do anything to you that you don’t want me to. Understand?” He asked. Was he misinterpreting the look she gave him? He couldn’t help not thinking that, making himself anxious and uncertain of himself and his feelings. She turned her head, looking at him over her shoulder. His head was inches from hers, his eyes never left her. They burned with an intense flame that coursed through Laena. 
“Understood. But I ask that you be patient with me. Please?” She told. He nodded, leaning his head forward, pressing their heads together.
“I will. I would rather feed myself to a horde of Death Claws than force you into something you aren’t ready for.” He said. Laena chuckled and kicked off her boots. Her feet came in contact with the furs that she had collected over the travels.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” She responded. Vincent chuckled and stepped back, pulling off his gauntlet, gloves, and boots with the gold sabatons. “I must admit, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do now, only what’s to come, and even then I’m still...” She fiddled with her hands and turned around as she fell silent, looking away from Vincent. He reached a bare hand forward, brushing her hair from her shoulder.
“Then let me take the lead. I’ll be as slow as you want me to be. And I promise you that I will never do anything to hurt you on purpose. You can trust me, Laena.” He said. His head leaned in closer to her neck, breathing on it softly. She shivered at his breath on her neck.
“I know I can.” She whispered. Vincent’s eyes stuck to her neck. He subtly bit his lower lip as he stared. His hand on her shoulder lowered to her waist with his other in tow. He was very careful with touching her, being wary of setting off a reaction.
“Do you trust me enough to let me kiss your neck?” He asked. She nodded. He raised a hand from her waist to her chin, turning her head to look at her. “Use your words, Laena.”
“I trust you.”
“Thank you, Laena.” He pressed his lips to her neck, softly kissing along her skin. Her hands clenched and her body shivered at the touch of his lips on her neck. She gasped as he licked at her neck, his hand instinctively clawing at her waist, pulling her impossibly closer to him.
“Vincent.” She whisper-moaned. He pulled away from her neck.
“Yes?” He questioned. His voice hit right in her ear and sent shockwaves down her body, making her shiver. Vincent chuckled to himself as he felt her shudder against him, showing she was getting ready. “You’re aroused, aren’t you, Laena?”
“You seem pleased at that.” She said. He hummed and nodded, leaning into her neck once more.
“Yes, I am, especially because I have your consent and trust.” He said. He kissed her neck again, his hands beginning to instinctively claw again on her waist. Laena began reaching for the bottom of her shirt, only for Vincent to reach first and pull it off over her head. Once her shirt was off, he went for the clasps of her bra, expertly unclasping it and tossing it aside. She felt tense as Vincent stepped away, his eyes scanning over her. She was beautiful, full of life, and plump at the touch. His hand reached out, his fingers dancing along her collarbone. She was soft to the touch, like velvet over a fire.
“You are very beautiful, Laena. You should be worshipped like the Goddess you are, and I gladly will.” He said and leaned in, kissing her fully on the lips. 
And then he kissed me, with all the power he could muster, making up for all the moons, weeks, days, minutes, and seconds our chapped lips hadn’t been touching, and finally, finally it felt like the world wasn’t burning around me.
She gasped into the kiss, her hands raising and grabbing his shoulders. Her chest bloomed and grew heavy at his careful touch and kiss, sending her into overdrive with emotions she has never felt before from a man. His kiss radiated down her spine as he stole her last breath, a chill rushed through her core and the goosebumps that followed were inevitable. As their tongues locked and slide against each other, her heart fluttered with desire and its steady drumbeat silently made its way between her thighs. She was indeed kissed, kissed by a gentleman, a gentleman who know how to kiss her soul.
The last time she felt this happy was during her moments with her mother, Valaena. Her eyes grew wet with tears. Not tears of sadness, anguish, regret, or fear, but joy and happiness, and relief. This was it…the feeling she had wanted for so long.
Vincent pulled away from her lips, his forehead pressing against hers as his eyes met hers, seeing the glossy tears in them.
“Are you alright, Laena?” He asked. She stared at him, her mind going blank for a moment as she tried to find the words to tell him she was indeed alright. I don’t know how to feel, but I wanna try. I don’t know how to feel, but someday I might. Someday I might. I think I forgot how to be happy, something I’m not, but can be. Something I’ve waited for. She could only nod at him, a smile slowly forming on her lips.
“I am now.”
Vincent stilled as he heard her speak. Her mind swam with thoughts and feelings, as did his. How should I initiate this? What can I do to make her comfortable? What can I do to make her happy? What can I do to keep her safe from her mind and Shinra? Nothing, but I will die trying. 
“You seemed lost for a moment.” He observed. A hand lowered from his shoulders and grabbed a hand of his, interlocking fingers. Vincent looked towards their joined hands before looking back up at her.
“I’m just…happy.” She responded. He felt his mind go silent with his concerns as he heard those words. He was relieved that he was doing something right for her. The fact that something so minimal as a kiss worked to ease her comforted him and relieved him. He would do anything for her to help her become comfortable with this experience. She released his hand and removed her other hand from his shoulder, instead going to his attire. Her hands went to the buckles, unbuckling them and pulling the top off once completely open, tossing it to the ground of the tent. 
She stared at his form, eyeing the several scars that covered him. Alongside the scars, his skin was just as pale as his face, and no hair grew on his chest, except the coarse patch on his lower stomach that went into his pants, his arms were the same, covered with thin sparse black hair. She reached out a hand, her finger caressing the y-shaped scar that went from his chest to his stomach, making him shiver and grab her wrist. She jolted at the sudden touch and looked up at him. She expected anger and disgust from her touching him, but when she saw his eyes she was met with gentleness and slight fear.
“No one has…ever seen me like this. Am I repulsive to you?” He asked. She shook her head quickly and lowered her head, her lips hovering over the scar. She glanced up at him through her eyelashes and pressed a gentle kiss to the middle of the scar. He sucked in air and ran his hands through her hair. He kissed the top of her head. Such a simple act of intimacy and both of us are drunk on it. As she kissed him, she took in his scent, a sweet concoction of beauty. Plums, jasmine, and red berries made him up. Scents as beautiful as him.
Laena stepped back. She reached her hands out toward his pants, before hesitating and looking up at him. He nodded and she began unbuckling his pants. Halfway through the process, she seized and turned her back on him. He knew she was afraid, and he didn’t want to pressure her into continuing if she was fearful. He removed his pants, letting them fall to the ground, and stepping out of them. Vincent grabbed her hand, holding it gently as his thumb caressed the back of it.
“I’m sorry.” She apologized. He shook his head, stepping forward but keeping a bit of space between them.
“Don’t be. It’s alright to be afraid in your case.” He fell silent, listening to her breathing and any signs of her being uncomfortable, but found one. “Do you wish to continue?” She nodded.
“Don’t agree just because I want to be close to you. Think for yourself, Laena. Do you really wish to continue?” He repeated. She paused and thought about it. She had been with the party a while, and through that time she and Vincent had grown close, first as friends, and now as potential interests. Potential? Be realistic, Laena. She liked him. She really liked Vincent. He was kind to her, gentle, careful, and understanding. Vincent had never pressured her into speaking out about what happened to her as Cid did which resulted in a heated argument between Cid and Vincent after Laena disappeared from camp crying her heart out, or questioning why she had a key with a small flower charm on her at all times. Both of them were damaged souls that were chewed up and spat out by Shinra, but they both found comfort in each other's presence and words.
“I do wish to continue, Vincent.” She said. Vincent nodded and stepped forward more, his body meeting hers. His hands went to her sides, going down to her pants. She grabbed his wrist as he went to the laces of her pants. She looked at him over her shoulder, her eyes wet with tears once more. 
“Sor-” Vincent silenced her apology by kissing her once more. She held the back of his head as he kissed her, his black hair seeping through her thin fingers. The kiss distracted her as he unlaced her pants. A stray tear ran down her cheek, which Vincent wiped away as he pulled from the kiss.
“I don’t want you to apologize to me ever again for something out of your control, Laena,” Vincent whispered. She nodded and turned once more to face him. He leaned forward, kissing her on the forehead. He pulled back after a brief moment, looking her in the eyes.
“I’m going to remove your pants. Is that alright with you?” Vincent asked. She looked at him for a brief moment, thinking about his question, and nodding. Slowly, he knelt to one knee before her, his hands, large and warm, went to the waistband of her pants, pulling them down along with her panties slowly in case she wanted him to stop. But she never stopped him. As he pulled them down, his lips ghosted over her stomach, before slowly pressing a kiss to her skin, making her gasp and shudder. He chuckled and stood from his knee, reaching up and running a hand through her hair. She stepped her legs out of the pants, putting them aside.
“You are very beautiful, Laena. Contrary to what you believe of yourself, but it is what I believe. You are very beautiful.” He whispered. She pressed her lips together and looked down, her pale cheeks blushing. He held a finger under her chin and lifted her head.
“Don’t hide yourself. I want to see that face and every reaction you have to me.” Vincent said. She slowly nodded and reluctantly met his eyes.
“What now?” She asked. Vincent smiled and placed his hands on her hips and picked her up into his arms. She stared at him like he was crazy for the forward movement, but accepted it willingly. He was warm. Very warm, and full of hard muscle. And that was just his chest. Several smaller scars covered him but were only noticeable when she was much closer. They almost faded completely into his skin, like they didn’t exist, but when she held a hand to his shoulder to support herself in his grasp, she could feel them. 
He chuckled, “Don’t worry, you are very light.” Carefully, he lowered to his knees and laid her on the furs of her bedroll, her legs spreading to fit him between them. Several were collected just for the sake of not being close to anyone on cold nights. Before her feelings for Vincent grew strong to where they are now, she refused to be close to him in any way out of both fear and discomfort. What was coming goes far beyond sleeping close to each other. 
“What are you planning to do to me now, Vincent?” She asked. Her voice was low and meek, full of curiosity but hints of fear, which was easily picked up by Vincent. He placed a hand on her cheek, his thumb caressing the skin.
“I am going to prepare you before I do anything too drastic. Is that alright with you?” He asked. His eyes bore into hers, full of lust and desire, but also care and love. She nodded, he shook his head and held a finger under her chin, “Speak, Laena. I will not answer to your silence.”
“Yes, it’s alright with me, Vincent.” 
“Thank you, Laena.” Removing his finger from her chin, Vincent held a hand to her collarbone, his fingers caressing her skin, going lower and lower until reaching her lower stomach. Her body shivered as he did so, making goosebumps rise along where he touched her. He was amused by her reaction, getting pleasure from the way she took it, but not enough to drive him further without getting her complete trust in what is to come.
He pressed a kiss to her lips, soft and gentle, but full of fire and passion. With both the kiss and his hand on her stomach, she felt her arousal growing higher, making her wet, but also confused. Vincent pulled back and looked at her puzzled face.
“What is it?” He asked. She opened her mouth to speak but struggled to find the right words to describe what she was feeling and thinking of. Until she finally did speak, and her cheeks grew bright pink.
“Why am I…oh, this is embarrassing.” She said and covered her face with her hands. Vincent chuckled and grasped her wrist, massaging the skin carefully.
“You can tell me anything, Laena. What is it?” He asked. She exhaled and lowered her hands from her face, still having rosy cheeks. She continued to struggle to speak, both out of disgust with how her body felt so needy and fearful of how Vincent would react to her.
“Down there, why am I…” She giggled nervously and turned her head away from him. Then he got her meaning, also chuckling along with her. She was so innocent, and cute, but Vincent must remember why she approached this with that reaction.
“Wet, hmm?” He asked, a small grin on his face. She nodded and turned her head back to look at him. “It’s a reaction, Laena. It’s your body preparing yourself and making you wet to decrease the risk of painful friction and injuries.”
“Oh. I didn’t know it could do that.” She spoke. Vincent said nothing to respond, but in the back of his mind, he knew why she never experienced that. So many life experiences were robbed from her in that damn tower, and he was furious. But now was not the time to be thinking of that, but instead taking her mind off it and giving her the pleasure she was never able to experience.
His fingers on her stomach caressed her skin while his other hand went to her thigh, kneading the skin and easing any potential discomfort.
“Is it alright if I touch you lower?” He asked. Laena looked at him, confused at his question, until it hit her. She blushed profusely and slowly nodded. She knew it was necessary, but the possibility of whatever feeling she was gonna get terrified her. This is Vincent Valentine, not the President. I have nothing to fear from him. 
“Yes.” She responded. He smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. His hand went even lower from her lower stomach, eventually coming to her folds. Her hands reached his shoulders as he ran his fingers along her slit. Laena bit her lower lip to keep herself quiet, but the way her legs quivered and her hips instinctively rocked against his hand gave her away. Vincent grinned.
“Good girl.” He praised. She whimpered as she heard him speak, her body also reacting to his words. She grew wetter, and Vincent chuckled.
“It seems you liked that.” He commented. Her cheeks grew enflamed once more.
“Don’t make fun of me,” Laena whined. He laughed lowly and shook his head.
“My apologies, I did not intend to make you think that. I was making an observation, is all.” He said. Before she could respond to his response, she lowly moaned as his fingers gathered her wetness and spread it over her folds and clit, making her legs shiver once more. His mind began growing foggy as he heard her reaction. Such a sweet sound. He grinned once more at her.
“Such a beautiful sound, like music to my ears.” He said. She covered her face with her hands once more, hiding herself.
“Shut up.” She said. He chuckled and leaned his head into her neck, pressing his lips to her pulse. Her heart beat like crazy under her skin, even more as his lips held their place on the artery. Her hands remained on his shoulders, tightening as he continued using his fingers on her. When he slipped one of his fingers inside her, she whined and dug her nails into his skin.
“You’re so warm, Laena.” He spoke, his lips still on her neck, steadily going lower. Lower and lower until his lips touched her collarbone, the valley between her breasts, her stomach, until he was hunched over Laena, his lips barely ghosting her very inner thigh and his arms sliding underneath her thighs. He looked up at her, his eyes asking the question for him.
“Yes.” She whispered. He smiled a smile that made his eyes crinkle and gleam. He leaned in slowly. He breathed out on her clit, making her shudder, the hot breath tickling her nerves. Her hands now found purchase on the furs beneath her, holding it tightly in her hands. His tongue came out, licking up her slit, her legs quivered in her response and her mouth fell open, a loud whine coming from her lips. His tongue spoke a thousand strokes. Dirty Valentine.
“V-Vincent..!” She whined. Thank God their tent was further from camp. He grinned, though she could not see it. One hand came to her clit, his thumb pressing down, and rubbing in slow circles. Laenas’ breath grew heavy as Vincent worked her, eventually moaning as his other hand raised and he dove a finger inside her, still licking and tasting her wetness. Just like herself, her taste was sweet. Sweet like melons, figs, and prunes, and the strongness of these tastes further fuzzed his mind as he continued. 
He looked up at her, his pupils dilating to all hell as he saw her eyes were sealed shut and her cheeks were rosy. She was just as lost as he was. Very carefully, he slipped a second finger inside her, making her yelp in shock and arch her back off the furs. He shushed her lightly.
“Shh, it’s alright.” He said before lifting his thumb from her clit, instead replacing it with the tip of his tongue. She writhed beneath his tongue, and her nails dug into the furs she laid on, they were steadily growing damp from the sweat that culminated on her skin.
“Please, I want…it feels so good, but I want…” She fell silent from the feelings that sent her mind into overdrive. Vincent pulled back and looked up at her. Her eyes were dazed and glossy, barely focusing on him. His fingers moved slowly inside her, gathering her arousal and stretching her for him.
“What do you want, my dear?” He asked. Laena couldn’t get the words out, her breath too heavy to speak and her mind too far gone with these first-time feelings she was experiencing. But, when she was able to speak, she was still struggling. She struggled even more when she saw him stick his fingers that were previously inside her into his mouth, tasting her even on his fingers and tongue.
“You. I want to feel all of you.” She whispered. He hummed and nodded. He was amused with her reaction, and a part of him was growing confident in himself and what he could do. He steadily moved back upwards, his lips ghosting over her skin once more before he was face level with her. Vincent pressed a kiss to her lips, letting her taste herself on him. One of his hands held her hip while the other held her thigh, raising the leg. Her eyes shot open when she felt the tip of his cock brushing her clit. She whimpered against his lips as she felt it, also calling his attention to it. He pulled himself from her lips.
“You’re not scared, are you? If you are, I can continue with my fingers instead.” He offered. She shook her head. Something within her stirred, making her bring a hand off the furs and down to his cock, the hand wrapping around him. It was his turn for his cheeks to flush. He groaned at her touch and his head fell back, his face scrunching.
“What you did to me with your mouth, I want to do to you.” She spoke. Vincent was bewildered by her newfound boldness and confidence, but he didn’t fight it. But, he did shake his head.
“Not tonight. Tonight is about you and you alone, Laena.” Vincent spoke through his reactions to her. She sighed and nodded. She knew where he was coming from, he was looking out for her, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to do the same. Another time, perhaps. She released her hand from around him, instead going to his jawline, and her other hand followed.
“Another time?”
“Another time.”
Vincent leaned his head forward, connecting their foreheads, and staring into her eyes, the green meeting the red in an intimate swirl of desire, lust, and love. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before he spoke up.
“I feel wrong touching you like this. Like it’s a sin for someone like me to touch and taste you in all these special places. I shall be judged a sinner by God for feeling this way for one of his angels.” His eyes opened as he finished speaking, they were dazed and unfocused as he looked at her. She rose a brow at him.
“God may judge you, but his sins outnumber your own.” They both stared at each other for a moment, before she chuckled. 
“Did you just come up with that?”
“Yes, I did and I do not know where it came from.” He smiled. The hand on her hip raised to her cheek, caressing her with such tender and gentleness.
“Your mind is as beautiful as the rest of you.” He dropped his hands from her, instead placing them on the furs under her and holding his weight up over her body. His eyes remained to stare into her own, but gone was the lust and desire, instead care and love filled them.
“Are you ready? Or do you want me to continue touching you?” He asked. She shook her head, her fingers still on his jawline.
“I’m ready.” She said. He nodded. His long hair brushed along the sides of her face, tickling her and making her smile. He tutted and lowered his head to her chest, his lips ghosting over her skin once more.
“But first…” His eyes landed on her breasts. His lips moved to them, inches away from making contact, his breath hitting her skin and making goosebumps form. A hand removed itself from the furs, going to touch her left breast carefully. His hand was warm against her skin. His lips made contact with her right breast, kissing it and making her gasp and shudder beneath him.
“Oh, oh, Vincent.” She moaned and placed her hands on his head, his black hair spilling from between her fingers. He hummed against her skin while his hand was on her left breast. He took his time, nipping and kissing the skin of her breast while his hand caressed her other one. Until he wrapped his lips around her hardening nipple, making her groan while his hand pinched the other one.
“Vince-!” The call of his name fell silent when he bit down on her nipple, but her mouth remained open with a silent cry. Vincent chuckled and pulled away from her body.
“Apologies, but they were calling my name, Laena.” He said with a cheeky grin on his face. She scoffed and rolled her eyes at him.
“Oh, shut up.” She said, chuckling to herself. He grinned and dropped his hands from her body, instead placing one by her side while the other went to himself. She looked down to where his hand went, her eyes widening with both surprise and a tiny bit of fear. His size was large, very large, and very thick. Hot and hard as steel. How the hell was he walking around with that in those tight leather pants? He noticed her surprise.
“Are you scared? Or just surprised?” Vincent asked. Laena shook her head, moving her hands to his shoulders. They were very strong, much like the rest of him.
“No, not scared, but surprised. You are certainly, ehm, large.” Laena responded. He smiled and pressed their foreheads together once more, their eyes connecting as well.
“Which is why I wanted to properly prepare you, dear.” He responded. The hand that went to himself wrapped around his shaft, rubbing himself along her clit, further stimulating her. Her hands on his shoulders tightened and dug her nails into his skin. She moaned quietly and tilted her head back into the bedroll.
“Oh, oh, Vincent, please, I want you.” She pleaded. He nodded. His head went into the side of her neck. The hand on his shaft went to her thigh, holding her as he began the slow descent of sliding inside her.
She whined and whimpered as the tip of his cock split into her. He deeply moaned in her ear at the feeling of her warm wetness around him. The sound right in her ear made her clench around his tip. Fire ran through her veins, setting her nerves alight. He stopped when the noise of her reached his ears.
“Do you want more or do you need a minute?” He asked. Laena shook her head. Her breath grew heavy very quickly at the feeling and the sensations that ran through her.
“Don’t stop. Fuck, don’t ever stop.” Vincent was baffled by how vulgar she suddenly became. But it was a welcome surprise. He felt like he was seeing the real Laena beneath the disguise she mustered from her captivity. She pressed a hand between his shoulder blades, nails continuing to dig into his skin while the other grabbed at the furs beneath her, hanging on for dear life and keeping her mind in one piece. 
His own went to her thigh, while his other trailed up her arm with gentle caresses until threading their fingers together, pressing their joined hand into the furs. He was careful with Laena, even as he slowly inched deeper inside her until he was buried to the hilt. The stretch of her walls around him after much build-up was nothing short of euphoric for both of them. She writhed beneath him, and her cheeks flushed. Her walls pulsed around him, making his restraint begin to grow thin. He was surrounded by only her. Her touch, her scent, and her presence. He wanted to give in to the animalistic desires that grew in him, but he knew he had to hold back for her sake.
Her comfort must come before his pleasure.
“Still alright?” He asked. She didn’t trust her words, so she nodded. In truth, it was perfect. He felt utterly divine inside her, hitting all the spots and reaching places inside her she never knew existed. Her grip on their joined hands tightened when he slowly started thrusting inside her at a slow and steady pace. Nothing too fast for her, but enough that had her legs shaking. Enough for her back to arch off the furs and press her chest against his own and her head fell back, exposing her throat to him. 
His lips ran over her throat, before kissing along the skin. Just like the rest of her, he was careful to not leave any mark along her skin that was too noticeable. It was nothing short of relief with him inside her, their hands joined and his lips kissing her. 
Laena wrapped her trembling legs around his waist, pulling him close to her and deeper inside her. Vincent grinned at her advancement, pleasantly surprised at her initiative. She felt like she could cry from the sheer intensity of the new angle as his cock reached deeper inside her, but she held it back with a bite of her lip.
“Keep biting like that and you’ll bleed.”
“Will you kiss it better if it does?”
“I’ll kiss every inch of you if you asked it of me, Laena.” She smiled and chuckled. She moved her hips against his as he thrust. He pause and looked at her, whispering an apology as she moaned.
“Don’t be sorry. I want you to move more, Vincent.” She whispered. He nodded and pressed a kiss to her lips as he increased the pace. Her toes curled around his waist in a reaction. She moaned against his lips, stifling the sound so no one would hear how she was practically drooling over his cock. 
But that would be difficult with the sounds of their thighs and pelvis meeting. The tent was filled with the sounds and the smell of sweat and sex. Laena’s hand between his shoulders went into his hair, yanking his head back. His face was also red, and his eyes were closed. He groaned at her action and Vincent continued to groan when her lips met his neck, kissing and licking as he did her. 
He thrust faster and harder in response to her. She cried against his skin. She released his hair, her hand joining the one between his shoulders, and continuing to dig her nails into his skin. Her eyes went wide as she felt something burning within her lower stomach and her walls tightening around Vincent. His groans became low as he felt her approaching her finish. He was anxious to feel her come around him and him coming inside her, but she was afraid of that feeling.
“V…Vincent, what is that?” She asked with her head still in his neck and lips inches from his skin. Their joined hands tensed tighter. Vincent almost didn’t respond from the feeling of her tightening around him, the feeling melting his mind. God, it has been too long since he had last felt this. When he heard her speak, he shook the feeling from him and answered.
“Don’t fight it, Laena. It is the precipice of your pleasure approaching.” He responded. She pulled her head from his neck and looked at him. Her eyes were still wide and full of confusion and fear. Only when he saw the look on her face he did listen to her.
“But, what is it? I’m scared.” She said. He slowed his thrusts down to a slower pace and looked at her. He placed a kiss on her forehead before he reassured her.
“It’s an orgasm, my dear. It is a sudden and involuntary release of sexual tension. It won’t hurt you, Laena.” He reassured. She nodded. He reached for her lips, kissing her once more and pouring all his feelings into it. He picked his pace up once more, Laena yelped against his lips when he reached a spot inside her that made her legs tremble and her tightening around him grow more intense. Vincent smiled and chuckled.
“There you are. Oh, yeah, that felt good, do it again.” He said and hit that spot again. Tears welled in Laena’s eyes from the stimulation of that spot. Vincent groaned much louder as she tightened around him once more. He released their hands and brought his between them, his thumb stimulating and rubbing her clit.
“Come on, my dear. Come for me, Laena. I’m right behind you.” He said, his breath becoming heavy as he grew close. She dug her nails harder into Vincent’s skin, beginning to moan louder. He grew restless and relentless, the same feelings he wanted to suppress to not frighten her. But she was too far gone to care. In fact, she liked it very much.
“Vince, please…kiss me, or I might scream.” She begged. He nodded and instantly attached their lips once more, silencing her cries and screams from her impending climax. One last thrust to that spot sent her over the edge. Her eyes widened and she squealed against his lips. She tightened around him once more as she came around him. He pulled away from her lips as her cries died down.
“Fuck, Vincent, that feels so good, you feel so good. Oh, you’re so perfect, so perfect.” Her praises were endless, and also slurred together as his finger continued stimulating her and his cock continued thrusting inside her.
His eyes rolled into the back of his head as his hips stilled and he came inside her with a groan. Though her legs were already squirming, they did so much harder at the feeling of him filling her. He released his hold on her thigh and his thumb on her clit, instead now holding himself above her to not crush her with him. She wouldn’t have it, she wanted him close to her. She pulled him down, their chests meeting. The tent was filled with them breathing and panting for breath 
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asked. She shook her head. He kissed her cheek before pulling himself from her. She whined in weak protest. His eyes wandered down to her cunt, his eyes gleaming with a mischievous pride as he watched his release flow from her. He raised a finger, collecting what spilled out on his fingers before pushing it back inside her. She trembled and whimpered. He smiled and grabbed her in his arms, moving her to her side and laying beside her.
“What did you just do?” She asked. Her voice was low and scratchy from her cries and moans. He ran a hand through her hair and kissed the back of her neck.
“Keeping it in. I don’t want to dirty these nice furs you have.” He said.
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sysig · 1 year
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Just thinking about @10yrsy’s Things, y’know, casually (Patreon)
#Doodles#IZ#I know Things is long dead but I've been feeling rather nostalgic lately#Man let alone Irkens when was the last time I doodled a Latrodectus haha - and 10's style of antenna! It's all quite nostalgic#I'll try not to get Too sappy but it's hard when I was so inspired by Things! It had a big impact on me#Without exaggeration Things helped shape the trajectory of my life for quite a while - it's interesting to think about artistic influences#But gosh heck I don't think I've doodled anything of any of them since the song contest all those years ago lol#I like to think I've improved a bit since then lol ♪ Though the medium is quite different haha#Finally drew Nid! Only took a Very long time lolol#I do remember having doodled some Extreme roughs for a comic concept ages and ages ago but that's really all I remember lol#Maybe hunting down those old notebooks sometime would be fun haha#ANYway lol - enough reminiscing! There's all this current silliness!#Snarp was my favourite back in the day and I still like him a lot haha#He's a prickly little so-and-so! A cute and spicy lad! Always a fun ♪#If ''little meow meow'' had existed as a term back then I would've used it for him lol he deserves it#It really is about the [unforgivable nature] paired with [unconditional love] hhh their friendship is still really cute <3#Myk! He's always had the most gorgeous design <3 His eyes! My word!#Beauty like that really doesn't age - I was always a fan of the close up of his eye and his skin texture ahh#Probably no one remembers this blog's original icon but hmm ♪ Inspiration down many many avenues haha#Hopefully I did his eyes justice with my limited traditional palette haha#Had to show off his muscles a little too <3 Those gloves man he's just a pretty dude!#I did a bit of editing magic with Nid so if his eyeline doesn't quite match up just sshhhshshshh it's fine lol ♪#Who's saying which and who's gasping hmmm who knows it's a mystery hehe#And ending off with those two again <3 It's their dynamic I swear I just jdslfdsf it gets me bad lol#Squish him hold him (gently (maybe not that gently)) haha
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kingdomoftyto · 2 years
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Decided to check out the audio drama Fawx & Stallion this weekend and GUYS... guys this show is SO FUNNY. I couldn't stop laughing for the first three episodes straight.
It's the story of some wannabe detectives living in Victorian London. Specifically, they live at 224B Baker Street, just across the street from a certain pair of decidedly more famous detectives--and they're sick and tired of having all their potential cases scooped by Sherlock Fucking Holmes. Luckily for them, while Holmes and Watson are out of town looking into some matter about a dog, a new case comes along and drops--by default--into our would-be heroes' laps.
And just who are these aspiring crime-solvers?
Hampton Fawx: detective and gentleman. What he lacks in common sense he makes up for with raw theater-kid enthusiasm.
James Stallion: gentleman and detective. A loyal friend and companion when he's not being a self-important arse. Runs on approximately 20% gin and 80% spite.
and finally Madge: neither gentleman nor detective. She's just been stood up by her date and she's going to make that everyone else's problem. She'll agree to help on this case just for the Drama.
It's a hysterical romp so far. A lighthearted farce set just offscreen from Holmes' own capers (for now!). Our main trio lacks even a single braincell to share between them, but by GOD they're going to solve this case and I'm going to be cheering them on the whole way there!
From what I can tell, new episodes are typically every other Monday, but the show's on a short hiatus for the holidays, to return in 2023. The first five are currently available to listen to, though, and I highly recommend it!
#Fawx & Stallion#certain details omitted so as not to spoil the little ep1 surprises :3c#this is a fun one to go into without much prior knowledge so if you're sold then please check it out now!!#I don't want to rob anyone of the gleeful little gasps that I let out as certain details came to light#but if you would like a few tiny spoilers to give you some more miscellaneous character info:#Hampton is asexual (I did not know this going in and it took me a bit to pick up on it but it is alluded to already in the show!)#James and Madge are legally married (which is why I left her surname out of the main post) but#they're both gay and happily pursuing other relationships with each other's blessing.#James is in a committed relationship (basically reads as married) to an Inspector from Scotland Yard and they're disgustingly cute together#his partner Archie is extremely long-suffering because Hampton and James' antics end up getting them in trouble more often than not#and Archie has to clean up their messes without seeming like he's showing favoritism.#(that description sounds like it could be tense but it's actually more in the tone of sitcom hijinks. it's lighthearted and hilarious)#and Madge is a complete disaster lesbian who apparently has an on-again-off-again relationship with Martha across the street#yes THAT Martha across the street#and anyway the three of them--Hampton James and Madge--all just share a flat with an ancient cat and#spend their days drinking booze and amateur boxing and bitching about Holmes and Watson#it's great. please give it a listen :)
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menlove · 8 months
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was supposed to get this section of my capstone done yesterday but i don't have the meeting abt it until monday so i was gonna write it tonight but i just spent like 6 hours writing one tiny section of that section.........
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bumblingbabooshka · 1 year
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[Coping with Loneliness and Cracks in Control]
Ah, it’s happening again. This irritating habit of leaving the body alone But there’s no one here either. It’s youyouyou no matter how much you call. (so cavernous it echoes) so stop doing it Your mind has been cracked open over and over again with every repair the damage worsens how long? “Tuvok, how do you do it?” desperately. The Vulcan mind is a fascinating thing. Mysterious. Resilient. Much like the Vulcan people - it can survive much worse than this. “Give me all you’ve got!” because I’m empty empty empty desperately. Meditate. Sort it out. Hm? Isn’t this too much for less than half a person? I can’t live like this. What other choice do you have? [A Mind Meld - Desperately]
#Tuvok#my writing#bea art tag#-guy who's about to say some wild bullshit-.........so hear me out#Vulcans are born with bonds. They're bonded with their parents who in turn have their own bonds and it reaches back as long as Vulcans have#existed - they're a culture of bonds and telepathy who derive affection and comfort and peace THROUGH this bonds#(evidenced by the 'flame' of pon farr being 'put out' through bonding with another Vulcan)#I'm sure a great amount of control and satisfaction is derived through them. Also as I've stated before Tuvok & T'Pel consider themselves as#part of one another in a more extreme way than human romantic partners (two bodies one mind)#so when Tuvok is thrown into the delta quadrant he loses all of these bonds ('They are a part of me and I feel incomplete without them') <-#to me 'incomplete' here isn't an emotion like a human would experience it but like...literally if someone took half your brain and shot four#holes in what was left of it. If you've operated 60 something years thinking in tandem with another person then losing them would be losing#a great deal of yourself. And it's not like Tuvok has other bonds to fall on like he might on Vulcan if this occured - he's got NO ONE#he has humans and other aliens surrounding him but they aren't Vulcan and he doesn't bond with any of them telepathically but you know what#he does do?? like a notable amount?? mind melds#and also have his brain invaded by forces he didn't consent to#this combination makes me think about Tuvok who is so desperately lonely and also afraid - the first Vulcan without bonds - making it all up#as he goes along bc he has to (everyone has to) and bc he has no one he can confide in that would understand or really be able to help him#in tandem afraid of his mind being out of his control and wanting himself to feel whole again even if only momentarily - even he's#attatching himself to someone who will only worsen his mental strain (bc he has no excuse to mind meld with someone who's healthy - though#it would be beneficial to him as we see that's a treatment to trauma canonically)#Tuvok (suffering from tremendous alien forms of trauma that he keeps exposing himself to voluntarily in a move that is all at once#self-soothing and self harm): I do not require assistance. I am Vulcan.#If the writer's aren't going to explore Tuvok's inner world then listen. LISTEN. /I AM!!!!!!/#I'M GONNA DO IT EVEN IF IT MAKES ME LOOK STUPID#I hope any of this made sense#st voyager#st voyager art#Tuvok art#comix
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weaselshaped · 6 months
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Hmm I need to make another embarrassing gender post but not right now I think
#Embarrassing in that like. I mean it's all embarrassing. It's embarrassing to have spent this long missing the point#And to talk about that in public. I am 27 years old and I have id'd as nonbinary for almost a decade and yet I could not refer to myself#as transmasc or incorporate that meaningfully into my self-concept until like. This year. Due to... REASONS???#I literally don't even know! There IS no reason! I just didn't want to deal with it because it seemed harder than resigning myself to being#mistaken for a woman for the rest of my life??? I guess???? Stupid and cowardly tbh#Meanwhile tying myself in knots over like. Disproportionately identifying with queer men in fiction and deciding this was some sort of Crim#'Here is a thing that transmascs often do. Not me though I'm doing it for some other reason' I wasted SO MUCH TIME on this#It's not even really important i just invested a lot of energy into repression for WHAT. and like also on the internet the way I have#described myself over time is like. I am probably revealing some embarrassing things about the way I have engaged with my relationship to#gender that were not apparent until I started getting over myself/moving on from that bullshit. So that's great#I don't know man I would like to feel unequivocally good about sorting my shit out and finally doing what needs to be done#but mostly I just feel like I took too long and now I'm making myself look like an idiot. Idk man. I suck actually!#Oh look I basically did make the post anyway but as tags. Extremely me behavior
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dirtbra1n · 1 year
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thinking. that I’m in my tashiro era
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