#i know jack about shit. full disclosure.

[moe-broey]

At the risk of revealing I know very little about things in general, I really don't understand why Nintendo is shutting down online support for the 3DS/Wii U? Or that like, they can even Do That? Cause like, to me it makes sense that they'd have control and the say-so on the eShop, that's like, something they run as a company and Yes it absolutely sucks ass they nuked it for profit but like. Idk if I'll even phrase this right LMFAO but it seems like something they run themselves so it makes sense that they have complete authority over it. It's in their jurisdiction.

But like??? In my mind, if you have A Device that can connect to the internet it just. Should? Like I don't need a phone plan/data to use my old phone as a Youtube running device, as long as I'm connected to the internet. Like, the internet is a third party almost, one that you pay for personally and separately from any device you can use it with. I don't understand how Nintendo can intersect that and cut it off for their devices, specifically. Like, even if they have servers??? Idk how any of that works tbh I was just under the impression that if you have a device that you own and internet access. It's just those two things. Maybe it gets more complicated when it comes to games like Splatoon, but still....

[mrs-kamishiro-official]

erm. hello..

-@toh-rui-official

ah, hi there!

[mformarsala]

full disclosure: i know jack shit about star wars. i watched tcw, read fanfics and parts of wiki. with that out of the way may i present my favorite blyla hc

Facts(?): Quinlan's tattoos are a sign of him belonging to clan Vos. Aayla is Quinlan’s padawan.  Bly is the only clone we've seen with gold tattoos.

HC: Bly has his tattoos because he and Aayla are married.

a) The marriage kinda sorta made him clan Vos 'cause lineage and all that.

or

b) Clones are not considered citizens so he was accepted into clan Vos first for his marriage to Aayla to be legal.

[jerseymuppet]

whats up w ur muppets based religion

Dude. That’s such a loaded question I shouldn’t have put that in my bio. Okay so full disclosure this sounds insane BUT i have so many instances of things occurring like its not even coincidences at this point its something else. I believe people born in New Jersey have abilities. Nothing insane like telekinesis or whatever but like theres something going on there. Examples: my grandmother is really good at guessing things and is never wrong, weird coincidences happen to my mother literally almost everyday, i can say things and then they will happen, my brother who was NOT born in NJ and never has any weird shit happen to him is a loser.

Now, i know this sounds absolutely batshit balls to the wall insane BUT. Stay with me. Okay so last summer, after the eu leg of mcrs tour i agonized over whether or not i should buy a ticket and go (for reasons I’m not going to share lol) so i sat back and said okay! nj band! show me a sign! And lo and behold what i see the very next day

Now this is important to me for one specific reason: kermit specifically is like the modem for my weird abilities. I’ve had this one kermit plush for literally as long as i can remember and it’s been with me through everything and somehow it just became important. So obviously i see this and throw my hands up. Like wtf else was i supposed to do? So i messaged my bestie like ‘mcr 👀👀’ and she was offended i even had to ask.

Weeks pass, the show gets closer and closer, snail (my bestie) is starting to panic, because “what if something goes wrong? What if our tickets don’t work or we can’t get there for some reason or something etc” and I’m like babe. Chill. This is the New Jersey Gay Sex band. You are with Jersey Blood. Everything will go fine, believe in me. But snail is a fucking skeptical bitch so i distracted her by asking what her dream setlist was. i got hers and mine and made them into a playlist.

At the top of her list was house of wolves and at the top of mine was just something new that they hadn’t played yet. We go. They play house of wolves, and my ears ring from how loud snail screams next to me. and. and and and. We got the first smeagles of tour and the live debut of burn bright. Absolutely fucking insane.

but no where near as insane as looking up at the monitor and seeing frank and realizing what was on the amp behind him.

Fun fact: did you know he only brought that thing out on stage twice the whole tour? Anyway.

And then weeks after, my beautiful and true mutual Jack (now trickstump, then Scootbian) reaches out to me, because we went to the same show! And we both love the muppets! And we live very close to each other. What are the odds? Anyway yeah this is just one example of many, many, many. I’m aware I look insane don’t even worry about it.

[wario-speedwagon]

Dave and Old Sport Adopt a Kid: Chapter 5

Hello at long last! Sorry this one took so long! Full disclosure, these might start taking longer to come out from now on, so thank you for your patience! <3

Full chapter text below the cut as always!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Jack had finished grilling the three sandwiches and dished them onto plates for the table. He turned and leaned around the wall to peer into the living room.

“Alright you freeloaders, table’s–”

Jack was already disappointed.

“Why…?”

“Look at what we made, old sport!”

There were a whole bunch of unlit cigarettes strewn across the rug that the two had been rearranging into pictures. The two aubergines looked up at him expectantly.

Outnumbered, Jack succumbed to humoring their “art” with a discerning eye.

“...Dave, what the hell did you make?”

“If ya had half a brain, you’d be able to tell!”

“Okay, well, hers is obviously a person–” She beamed at his correct answer; perhaps the first time Jack saw her cute smile–

“–but…”

Jack stared at Dave’s mangled quadruped. The more he tried to identify its cigarette-comprised existence, the more he came to pity it.

“I dunno, is it a horse? Whatever it is, it deserves the mercy of being euthanized on the spot.”

“Pruny, you know what it is, don’t ya!?"

Pruny looked closely again. She promptly shook her head.

“I’m surrounded by fools, the lot of ya! It’s a doggo!”

“Ah yes, of course.”

“...Kinda like the one that’s always appearin’ behind you.”

Caught off guard, Jack and Dave exchanged a long stare as if they’d breached a taboo subject.

“...Y-You see it too…?"

Jack promptly brushed off the topic.

“A-Anyway, hurry and pick those all up so we can eat. Those better not’ve been my cigarettes you just put floor germs on.”

“Sportsy, I’m pretty sure you’re made of floor germs. You work at Freddy’s.”

Dave rolled his eyes as Jack ignored him. He then turned his gaze toward Pruny.

“Well, you heard the man.”

Leaving those two to clean up–

Jack paused. Okay, yeah, that was definitely the clean up song he heard Dave humming.

Trying to ignore it, Jack went to get drinks from the fridge.

*sigh*

Alcohol. Of course the only drinks he had in the fridge were just all the beer cans.

Although to be perfectly honest, after the bad mood today put him in, he could really–

…

No. Never in front of her.

…Dammit, stop. thinking. This is what I wanted to avoid.

Rubbing his temples as he thought of an alternative, it appeared that Dave was on the money with the tap water after all. And speaking of the Devil, the two aubergines finally came in and started sitting as Jack refilled the cups with sink water.

“Ah, these look FANTASTIC! You must really know your way around bread and cheese, if you know what I mean.”

“I– what?” Jack felt his face heat up with unpleasant confusion as he set the cups down. Maybe he did need a can.

“I’m just sayin, the way you put the cheese between the bread–”

“–I don’t want to hear whatever you’re about to say. Eat your sandwich.”

“Aye aye, captain.”

Pruny had silently started to eat the first piece of her triangularly cut sandwich but stopped before the slice could reach her mouth.

She watched Dave unhinge his jaw to fit the whole sandwich into his mouth. Jack also slowed his process of sitting down to watch in fascinated horror.

“...Ah, good shit.” He spoke through a full mouth before gulping presumably all of it down uncomfortably quickly.

The witnesses blinked back.

...

“So: I been thinkin’–”

“–Oh, that’s never a good sign,” Jack snarked from behind a glass of water.

“Ha ha. Now, Pruny. You wanna stay the night here, yeah?”

With hardly a moment to consider, she nodded. Jack remained silent.

“Well then, she’s gonna need somewhere to sleep!”

“She can take the couch.”

“Stingy, but all right. But then you’re gonna need blankets, and ya sure don’t have any to spare!”

“And why do you know this?”

“That’s none ‘a your business.”

It absolutely was his business, but Jack decided he didn’t want to know.

“Anyway, what I’m gettin at is that we gotta go shopping for a couple things for her if she’s gonna stay here a while.”

“She’s going back with you tomorrow.”

“Oh, to what, the bench I sleep on? Alright then, maybe I can make room for her!”

Dave's sarcasm was right and Jack hated it.

“You don’t hafta worry so much, old sport. I’ll help out! Like hell I’m gonna let you become Prune’s favorite without a fight!” he said, reaching to pat her on the head.

She took it, flinching shyly before returning to her sandwich slices as the two continued to discuss.

But Jack had fallen silent. Given his slumped posture, crossed arms and blank stare down at the table, Jack was clearly thinking, so Dave let him have his silence, taking out a cigarette in the meantime.

If things continued like this...

Jack couldn't foresee an end to this arrangement any time soon, but this wouldn't be sustainable either. He really only barely got by himself because of his immortality considering Faztokens are not a universally accepted currency outside of Fazbender's. He was broke, and it takes real money to feed and take care a living kid so they, you know, stay living.

Dave took out a cigarette.

And speaking of Fazbender's, what were they gonna do with Pruny during the day, leave her to wander the restaurant while they worked all afternoon? It'd actually be safer just to drop her back onto the streets at that rate.

Dave took out a cigarette.

But that's obviously out of the question. Jack may be complicit in child murder, but he wasn't heartless! But then that naturally begged the question: why not an orphanage? Both she and Dave seemed to react negatively to that idea last time he brought it up like it was a touchy subject.

Dave took out a cigarette. Pruny was stifling a giggle.

So what was their deal with that? Because frankly taking her to something like an orphanage was Jack's best bet to get out of this whole mess.

“Dave? I know you–”

“Fourgh! Fourgh higguresh!” he declared the moment Jack finally spoke, holding four fingers up at Pruny.

As if celebrating…whatever that was, Dave promptly took out a lighter, presumably to light his cigarette– er, cigarettes. Four of them to be exact. All hanging out of his mouth.

“Y'know, Dave, these days they're always harping on about smoking around children. Especially four cigarettes at once.”

“Oh bhoo fughing hoo! She'za bhig ghirl.”

“Then at least don't talk with your mouth full of lit cigarettes!” Jack said, taking one out of Dave's lips and smoking it himself.

Dave double checked that Sportsy had really just... done that. Was that… normal? Pruny of course continued dutifully watching and listening to them like a hawk as she always did.

“Anyway, take those out so you can actually talk.”

“Alright, buzzkill,” he said, putting two out on the plate and keeping the third in his fingers.

“Dave, I need you to tell me. Last time I mentioned bringing her to an orphanage, you blew up at me, but I don’t understand. Why are you so against the idea?"

Dave was startled by such a serious question. He was about to snark back but... Old Sport really just genuinely didn’t have a clue, did he?

“A-Are they really that bad!?”

“Well, I wouldn’t really know how it is for most kids.

But for someone like m’self, well. No one likes an aubergine, specially not in the 50s. Parents didn’t want me, the other kids didn’t like me… the nuns sure as hell dropped their whole ‘sweet’ act with me when no one was there to give a shit.

At some point I’m guessin’ they finally decided I wasn’t human enough to be a ‘child in need’ or whatever bullshit they peddled.

I hope most of em are rotting underground by now.”

“W-Wow, uhh…” Jack scratched the back of his head at the sudden tension.

“Prune, were they nice to you at yours? You wanna go back to it?”

She tensed up as their attention turned to her. Breaking precious eye contact in favor of the finished plate in front of her, it took a couple moments before she finally shook her head.

“Of course not. I know the 80s're supposed to be all progressive n’ shit now, but think most people missed the memo with us colored people. E-Er, I meant in the literal sense… l-like us three, n-not…

A-Anyway, the girl doesn’t even talk! Y’think they’re gonna be patient with an aubergine who doesn’t even talk back?”

“Dave, you need to be more sensitive in how you talk about it!” Jack hissed in response to Pruny flushing red with embarrassment.

“S-Sorry! I didn’t mean t–!”

“Why… Why don’t we just drop all this and just get in the car to go shopping.”

“Grand idea!” His excitement barely masked his greater relief at the needed subject change.

"C'mon, Prune, let's get you some stuff!"

Pruny's eyes lit up at Dave's words as she matched Dave's smile. As she slid out of her chair, Dave came to offer her a hand which she accepted as Jack got a head start for the front door with his keys ready.

(Chapter 6) ->

[crazy56u]

Happy Valentines Day, time for newspapers and jackass raisin-looking fuckers.

“Last time on Quantum Leap: Oh, I bet you thought we forgot about that chip subplot… Get fucked.”

And now the wolf is in the hen house, and odds are he ain’t fucking leaving.

Also, Ben wrote a letter; in unrelated news, Tom is pissed.

Hard cut to the 80s!

Cinematic parallels: Ian got an ominous phone call last week, Ben gets one today.

“Look, I could tell you more about the people who are gonna die, but because I hate you now- (CLICK!) (beeeeeeeeeeeeep)”

“God, where do I find you people?!” …the want ads?

Why does the guy Ben leapt into look like Jack Quaid?

Ben, you are doing swimmingly at acting normal today.

And the reporter is dismissing the fact Ben got an ominous phone call, and I vividly remember a car blowing up in the trailer for this episode, so, 5… 4… 3…

“Look, I’m Connie Davis, fuck your phone call.”

“This is the biggest story I’ve had in months.” And hard cut to Halloweentown.

“Steve, exactly how big is your pumpkin?” Big enough to topple the government?

I love how you can tell Connie wanted to die the second “Good gourd” was spoken.

“Now Steve, I know your viewers are dying to know- just like how your wife is probably literally dying, based on that cough-”

Meanwhile, the real 3 Ws: Waffles, wine, and Wednesday afternoon napping

“Okay, Steve said words, I wanna leave now.”

“There, I punched the camera, that’s how you know the battery died.”

“Look, Ben, you stopped a stroke, but car crashes are a little more unpredictable. Also, there’s this guy, Gideon-“

And I’m hoping to God the produces bought that number before someone tried to call it…

“Can we please focus on the leap, and not the subplots?”

My guess, Connie got fired for talking shit about Barbara Walters.

“And now she does-“ “Pumpkins.” Phrasing.

The more pumpkin puns she is forced to hear and say, the more Connie wants to die.

And cut to Newton’s shit ass cradle.

[Full disclosure: I am actively muting the parts of the episode involving Gideon. I have captions in, but still.]

“All I’m suing is blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.”

Just saying, Ben had three shots to indirectly erase Gideon from the plot, and I doubt this one’s gonna be the one.

“Look, sir, I’ve been kept in the dark, maybe let me in on this subplot?”

[And now I am actively glad I am muting Gideon; I can just tell he’s saying this bit of expo with a smug tone.]

Oh fuck you, I wrote “blah blah” because I didn’t have time for your bullshit, you don’t get to use “blah blah”.

…calling it now, whatever “needs” to happen, Magic is gonna take one for the team.

[Sound goes on.]

Meanwhile in the parking garage of doom.

Bean, you suck at the news.

…okay, I was joking, but is the parking garage haunted?

Fellas, you ever get cockblocked by an answering machine?

“Look, man, I know I have a gun and a ski mask, but you are freaking me the fuck out; why were you talking to a ghost?”

Dude, Ben doesn’t even know what the story is. Neither do we!

Game Theory: The guy actually forgot to check if his gun was loaded, and had to pivot at the last second.

“That’s right, I punched you in the face, I hope you learned something today.”

[“Okay, Ben blacked out, cue the title.”]

Stop telling Ben to drop a thing he knows shit all about.

…is it bad that I thought she was gonna dump whiskey on his wound?

“I think we have a story-” “A concussion.” A story-driven concussion.

BREAKING NEWS: Pumpkins are attacking people!

“Look, I had to make you look like a dumbass to save your ass.”

“What if this is the next Watergate? You know, I heard the real reason that got tipped off to the press was because a college professor snuck into the building so that this one student could say goodbye to her dad before he went to Vietnam! He even did a dance on the steps and talked to a ghost!”

“Rule one of doing work: See rule one.”

“Why are you always covered in blood, and do I keep thinking that’s low key hot?”

Ben, the universe can suck an egg.

“You’re the best leaper I know.” Meanwhile Elsewhere, Sam Beckett is seething.

“It was either being a journalist or being in the military, Ben.”

Ben 100% stole that whiteboard.

And now Ben and Addison have to figure out what the plot is.

“What do we know?” “Not much.” For example, throwing this out there, the date?

“A suit works at a company.” Mic drop.

It took mentioning a lawyer for us to get within the ballpark of the date this leap is happening on.

“There, I wrote ‘Lawyer’ big. Are closer to solving this leap?”

That fucking beast of a computer…

“Look, it’s an all-nighter, and I want a distraction from the Gideon subplot.”

Ben, no, you were doing so good, don’t get distracted by relationship shit!

I have a sinking suspicion that wasn’t all the coffee Ben drank…

Okay, so, technically Tom was the puppet.

“Look, I can do my job and be pissy about relationship bullshit.”

“I got a call at 3 in the morning telling me to burn Quantum Leap to the ground.” I swear to fucking God if that was an indirect way of saying NBC’s cancelling the show…

[No sooner did I type that, Tumblr tried eating this post, I ain’t taking any chances, part 2.]

[annabtg]

Hello hello!

'It's a long way to the top (if you wanna rock n roll)' is a HILARIOUS AND WONDERFUL STORY

Okay so first of all, i prepared last night, just to get an idea... (Have a screenshot of my YouTube history that has half a dozen videos of rock n roll dancing). I l o v e it when fics teach me new things because i know jack shit about professional dancing when we talk about practicality.

Remus is such a Teacher! I love that he's being the right kind of teacher for James!

Sirius - oh my gods - i know we've established that Sirius is a little shit but it was a joy reading the parts with him. Him pretending to be annoyed but also helping his mate ahhhh - "...with Sirius, while the latter pretends that this is a huge inconvenience for him." OH YOU SOFTIE

And James, bless his heart, he doesn't want to dance with any other girl before he dances with Lily lmaoooo that is so sweet yet funny. The development of Jily was so cute! It is impossible to not love James. The things he does for Lily Evans... *wink wink*

And Lily was an absolute Queen. As always. This story did live up to the hyping and my expectations and then knocked it aside and ran a bit further forward. It was awesome.

Even more so because, it looks like Sirius will like my choice of music heheheheh

Your's deerly,

Me \o/

Abiiiiii~

OK full disclosure: I was SUPER nervous about this story because partner dancing is, well, a kind of particular interest that I wasn't sure would go well with readers - plus by nature it's more visual and I had no idea if I could do it justice! When you started showing interest in it I was like "oh God please make it not suck, there's going to be an actual reader!" I am so, so happy you ended up enjoying it!!

Remus is BORN to be a teacher and what happened to him in PoA was a travesty. Trufax.

And Sirius to me is the definition of tough guy who is SOFT for the people he loves (read: James) and James knows it, haha! This dynamic is their love language! Plus of COURSE he listens to hard rock, duuuuuuh!!!

I think rock 'n' roll dancing is right up James's alley: lively, fun and with the added benefit of being something Lily enjoys! I hope it was clear in the story that he also enjoyed it in itself and it wasn't just an attempt to impress Lily (though yeah... he wouldn't have done it if it weren't for her).

I'm glad the Jily content worked too; I know this story isn't chock full of it, but I hope it was fun nonetheless!

Thank you so much for your lovely ask!! Again, it's so nice to know you liked it!!

Hugs xxx

[binch-i-might-be]

May I be presented with some more of the whamilton thoughts residing in your nice brain if it is in your comfort to do so?

!!!!! you're the first person who's actually asked me to Go On when I mention whamilton!!! usually people shun me lmao /j

oKAY full disclosure a lot of my whamilton thoughts are very horny and I will Not be getting into them here dw dw

the gist of it is: modern au. they're like. lawyers or some shit it's not really important I don't know anything about law anyway. Gwash is like 43 Alex is 25. it's actually not an unhealthy arrangement!! they talk it's respectful there's boundaries we love to see it

as to the family situation, Gwash and Martha separated amicably a couple years ago, Patsy and Jack (18 and 20 respectively) are pretty fine with. they were old enough to understand what was going on and why, and their parents are still friends so! they do know Gwash is Seeing Someone but he's not sharing any details because he's very aware of just what this looks like lmao

a lot of the actual "plot" if there even is one revolves around Patsy finding out about Alex when she comes to visit and Alex is just. Also There. Chilling. because Gwash got some dates mixed up lol

understandably she's a bit weirded out about the whole situation, but she's not going for the "fucking weird that my dad is dating someone almost half his age" angle, she's going more for "why is this random twink dating someone almost twice his age what's his deal what the fuck" angle

shenanigans ensue :) because I am a SLUT for character dynamics and relationships, and the dynamic between Gwash, Alex, and Patsy here has SO much potential

anyway I gotta leave for work now but one last thing: I have a version of this concept where Alex is trans and on hormones, but one day he randomly gets his period after months of not having had it and is obviously pretty upset. Gwash isn't there and he doesn't have any products at his place because it hasn't happened in so long, so he has to ask Patsy and her unnamed friend whomst I made up if he can borrow a pad or something which makes everything even worse because now he's had to out himself to his boyfriend's mean daughter who fucking hates his guts.

little does he know that this will actually make them Bond™.

because even mean teenage girls can recognise that this current situation has to suck absolute ass. anyway too long story short they do a 180 and try to cheer him up a bit! they bake cookies as a peace offering 😌

alright that is all for now folks! thank u for your time hehe

[ronearoundblindly]

Found what the annon was saying on the outfit by a chance and this is one of them

It looks complimentary to steves :0

Sweet merciful tulle. I may actually die or kill for this dress. I'm pissed this did not at all come up on my search, boo, but thank you for finding it!

If and when the fic is ready, I'll be sure to add this and Steve's as reference, but full disclosure: I know jack-shit about fashion, so that's why it might take me a bit. :\

[cyberdragoninfinity]

👀crow for the ship thing?

CROW MY FRIEND CROW!!!!! full disclosure i have only watched *checks* like 95 episodes of 5D's so this is going off of that

My NOTP for them: ok so like. first and foremost with regards to shipping in general is that my brain is always more invested in "surrogate siblings" as a character dynamic moreso than its interested in most romantic relationships. it's just the way i am! i ride or die for that platonic soulmate shit. so with that being said im not super interested in crow/yusei or crow/jack as ships...... see below lol

My BROTP for them: WITH THAT BEING SAID wwwauuuUUGHHHHHHH WAILING. HOWLING. THINKING ABOUT CROW SAYING YUSEI AND JACK ARE LIKE BROTHERS TO HIM. 😭 I LOVE THEIR TRIO DYNAMIC...... to me they are FAMILY they grew up together and im SO!!! THATS THE STUFF THAT MAKES ME EXPLODE BABEYY!!!!!

My OTP for them: god. trying to think if i even have one for crow???? kind of vibing with crow/kalin..... i think they could have a pretty interesting divorce arc and/or "we dated when we were like 16 and after everything it's Still Kind of Awkward and Weird" type deal

My second choice pairing for them: again, not sure i have one!! him and bruno together could be kind of funny?? see the problem is 5Ds doesnt have another guy crow could excitedly talk about birds to, I think. i think he needs someone to talk about birds with.

My fluffy pairing for them: IDK!!! him hanging with any of his friends in general is sweet to me. i just like his vibe

My angsty pairing for them: OK YEAH THE MORE IM THINKING ABOUT THE MORE IM VIBING WITH "I THINK KALIN GAVE CROW HIS FIRST KISS DURING THE TEAM SATISFACTION DAYS AND NOW CROW DOESNT KNOW HOW HE FEELS ABOUT IT."......man.......

My favorite poly ship for them: dont got one! again, love him and yusei and jack as a trio, but strictly platoniclly. 

My weirdest pairing for them: putting a pin in this one for now because i Know theres a crow in arc-v and i Know that has the potential to make me go bananas. we'll see

>send me ygo characters for this meme

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this Week #109 (Year 3/Week 5):

(I had a hard time concentrating on movies this week: I got bored easily and started a dozen films I had to click off after a few minutes. Anyway, below are the few I managed to finish :)

🍿  

2 by Polish poet Lech Majewski:

🍿 A wonderful new discovery, the visually-stunning The Mill and the Cross. It’s a literal recreation of Bruegel’s 1564 painting ‘The Procession to Calvary’, done in Newport Beach’s ‘Pageant of the Masters’ style. (Photo Above). With a minimal narrative and nearly no dialog, it transports a masterpiece from one medium into another. (Discovered Here). 10/10. 

🍿 “... Madame, do you know what mood spelled backward is?...”

His latest drama, Valley of the Gods, however, was disappointing: A symbolic story mixing an indigent Navaho tribe, the richest man in the world who wants to buy the Indian land to mine for Uranium and a writer whose wife flew away with her hang gliding instructor - it was a senseless artsy mess. There were some overtures to Kubrick by using David Bowman as the butler, and Purcell’s Music For The Funeral Of Queen Mary for the finale. But all the mysticism didn’t work for me, as beautiful as the canvass it was painted on it was.

I was planning to continue with his 2014 ‘Field of Dogs’, but will now do so after a break.

🍿 

When I lived in Paris in the mid-70′s, I hang around the fringes of certain Dušan Makavejev fan-groups, and at one point I was invited to join their free-spirited commune for some everything-goes sexual explorations. But after seeing his Sweet Movie I promptly drifted away.

Watching it again 50 years later, it didn’t seem so bad.... Until the third act... when this surrealistic Jodorowski-lite agitprop fable turned into a full-on shit-smearing, vomit-orgy, Primal-Therapy violent explosion. Crazed anti-capitalist, (and anti-Marxist), polymorphic-perverse, subversive anarchy. mixed with grainy footage of WW2 massacres and seduction of children it’s depraved, revolting and unpleasant shock cinema at its peak. 2/10.

🍿

“... You’re innocent when you dream”...

Another surprising new discovery, an art-house film so obscure that it doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page: Miss Osaka, by Daniel Dencik, a Danish director (who lives in Samoa). It’s a slow and atmospheric story about Ines, an introverted young woman on vacation in Norway who meets there a beautiful free-spirited woman from Japan. When Mimiko drowns while swimming out under the Northern lights, Ines steals her identity and escapes to Osaka, where she starts working as a hostess at her old nightclub. An elusive parable about identity, not as deep as Antonioni’s ‘The Passenger’, but nearly just as evocative. The trailer. 8/10.

Bonus points for Tom Waits quotes (which was also used in ‘Smoke’)!

🍿

I picked the Bollywood romantic Dil Se.. completely in random, just to spend the evening with a mindless, silly musical, and indeed the first number they burst out singing (on rooftop of a moving train) was the famous Chaiyya Chaiyya with Indian superstar SRK, so that was a good sign!

Unfortunately, the rest was a mess: Only 4 or 5 dance numbers (including this sexy Satrangi Re) were to be enjoyed during the stretched out 3-hours. The story was about a man who obsessively stalks a woman he sees at a train station, before realizing that she is a suicide bomber belonging to some revolutionary “terrorists”. 2/10.

🍿

Harry Caul X 2:

🍿 What does it say about me, that after thousands of movies that I’ve seen, if I had to choose only one as my most favorite, it will without a doubt be Coppola’s paranoiac The conversation? And I’m not even Catholic.

RIP, Cindy Williams.

🍿 So I used this chance to see, once again, another of my favorite Deep State surveillance-paranoia thrillers, Enemy of the state. Predating Snowden’s NSA disclosures, it plays as fresh today as it did 25 years ago. With Skyler White as Jon Voight (His best role ever?) and Jack Black, who lusts after the middle age Latina nanny with the unshaven legs. 9/10.

🍿

Paprika, my first by Satoshi Kon, and one of my first anime films. A complicated mind-fuck soup about a dream-thief that was hard for me to understand, and even more so to appreciate. It reminded me in parts of ‘Spirited Away’, but Miyazaki’s miraculously-mysterious story was geared toward 10 year old girls, and this one had appeal to 20 year old boys.

Discovered it here, which may have been better.

🍿

...“Isadora Duncan - worked at Telefunken”...

Let it be, Michael Lindsay-Hogg’s 1970 Beatles documentary, recording their last album, and including the original footage from the Apple building rooftop concert on Savile Row. So many great moments in it, the full rendition of ‘The long and winding road’, goofing off with ‘Bésame Mucho’, John and Yoko waltzing alone... Peter Jackson cleaned up the grainy images and incorporated them into his 8 hours ‘Get Back’ doc.

"I'd like to say thank you on behalf of the group and ourselves, and I hope we passed the audition!"

🍿

Restless, my 10th by Gus Van Sant. A slight, sweet romance about a young guy, Dennis Hopper’s son, who - like Harold - likes to attend strangers’ funerals. In one of them he meets and falls in love with short-haired teenage Mia Wasikowska, who has only 3 months to live, before she will die of a brain tumor. 5/10.

Incidentally, the opening titles were playing ‘On our way home’ from ‘Let it be’!

🍿

Make Hummus Not War, a slight Australian documentary frames its topic as the conflicting views on which people can claim the ownership, even the genesis, for everybody’s favorite dish. This gives the journalist/filmmaker an excuse to travel to Lebanon, Israel and Palestine, and eat in dozens of hummus restaurants. I mainly watched it, because Mmmmm, Hummus...

🍿 

Really love, an all-black romantic comedy written by a first time writer and directed by a first time female director. Maybe they were inspired by ‘In the mood for love’, but it surely didn’t look that way. Too shallow and thin with no character development or flair. 2/10.

🍿 

Everybody has their ‘Best of’ list for Black Mirror. Of the 23 episodes, there are 7 that I watched many times, 9 that I watched once and will probably never re-visit, and others that are in between. My most favorites (in no special order) are ‘The National Anthem’, AKA ‘fuck-a-pig’, ‘Hated in the nation’ (a masterpiece), ‘USS Callister’ with Nanette Cole, ‘Striking Vipers’ and ‘Smithereens’. The ones that I disliked were mostly of the ‘Mean Violent’ kind, ‘White Bear’, ‘White Christmas’, ‘Playtest’, ‘Men against fire’. So I decided to re-watch some of those in between:

🍿 Crocodile is dark and horrifying, and the Icelandic landscapes are a distinct character in the story.

🍿 Hang the DJ is about the difficulties of dating, so it didn’t speak to me specifically, but it was actually a sweet romance with an uplifting ending, which is unusual for Black Mirror. 

🍿 Be right back, another semi-sweet romance, mixed with the exploration of grief. A young loving couple, a fatal accident, an unexpected pregnancy, and bringing the dead back to life, what not to love.

🍿 I ran the main 5 mutations of Bandersnatch together with Adora, when it premiered and when she was 9. She liked it, but I’m not sure why, as it wasn’t our usual fair at all. Seeing it now (in the static 90 min. pirated version) has only 3 positives: The unique ability to interact and “create one’s own adventure”, the Laurie Anderson’s ‘Oh Superman’ alternative and the oh-so-clever Netflix meta-joke. The narrative was miserable and not interesting in the least. 3/10.

🍿 The Entire History of You, a completely dull domestic drama of manners about jealousy. It was so forgettable, that I couldn’t recall seeing a single detail from it, even though I saw it before. Ironic, since it was about people who can remember every emotion they ever had.

🍿 In 2018 Polish Netflix issued ‘Little Black Mirror’, 4 short YouTube webisodes, made by young local filmmakers. The superficial stories about influencers, new relationship apps and an expecting young couple who learn that their son is going to become a murderous psychopath, showed that the Black Mirror ‘feels’ are easy to parody and copy, with sleek, streamlined technology, modern interiors and unsettling scenarios. But they were inferior to and much more predictable than the originals. At least they were short.

🍿 Conclusion: ‘Black Mirror’ is considered a ‘great’ series, but many of its episodes are mediocre. The ones that I like, rule. And the other ones suck. Still, I can’t wait for series 6.

🍿

Donks, a new short from Felix Colgrave about ocean plastic, avatars and adaptive bottom feeders. Cyriak-lite.

🍿

(My complete movie list is here)

[preemshots]

johnny + the nomads lore

alright, i know this is a screenshots blog but i'm going to go ahead and start dropping some juicy lore tidbits as i dig them up. part of what i'm doing outside of just photo diarying is shard hunting, and BOY is there a lot the game likes to hide in those little shards for idiots like me who like to read so we can write unnecessarily accurate fanfiction! 

full disclosure, i know jack shit about the TTRPG/cyberpunk 2020 rulebook except what i read in the wikis. 

so here’s my lore roundup so far of everything i know about johnny joining the nomads

we know johnny likes to narrate v’s quest objectives. here’s the first mention where he says it himself: 

during the voodoo boys quest "transmission" there's a shard in the maglev tunnels beside the ice bath, presumably from brigitte's research into johnny in the first place:

okay, so the timeline is this: johnny joins the nomads after trying and failing to rescue alt. johnny hides out in the badlands for some years. then he and rogue come back to night city and nuke arasaka tower help alt escape the arasaka subnet by uploading liberator to their network once and for all.

this ultimately makes sense. in alt’s flashback, we meet santiago, who is a nomad/connected to nomads, joins rogue and johnny when they're trying to get alt back, and eventually becomes the leader of the aldecaldos. 

part of santiago’s TTRPG lore is that he, johnny, and rogue have to lay low in the badlands with nomads after they storm arasaka headquarters (i am aware the game takes many liberties with the original lore so who knows the full accuracy of anything from the original rulebooks)

ENDING spoilers: in the rogue+johnny storming AHQ ending, it's revealed that rogue has a son while they're prepping for the job. if you eavesdrop on her calling him while you're at the afterlife, you hear her tell her son to (paraphrasing here) "pull over and look at the stars", which immediately made my brain go to: nomad, badlands, santiago = dad? maybe. (santiago also canonically has a son according to the TTRPG lore)

this immediately reminded me of another interesting shard that i believe you can find in multiple locations around night city: “"what REALLY happened in arasaka tower?“

i love this dang shard. at first i thought it was just a cute conspiracy with some juicy gossip (and i love how 99% of the shards that mention johnny in this game are reminding us that he's not a real rebel, he's a poser) but it brings some interesting shit together

one: it tells us where johnny got his hands on the nukes! he and the nomads jumped a militech convoy and jacked some bombs! 

which is never directly explained, even as saburo arasaka is interrogating him shortly before using soulkiller. very nice of johnny to protect his homies like that. 

...or maybe he didn’t. saburo emphasizes that the dead don’t lie like the living do, and we don’t know what exactly arasaka did to johnny’s construct in mikoshi. 

it also explains why the obvious media narrative is that militech nuked arasaka, a nice neat political bow to the end of the fourth corpo wars, which is an entire section of the TTRPG lore that makes my eyes cross when i read it. 

it also makes the star/nomads ending extremely interesting, because i originally believed it was the ending where V’s journey deviates the most from rewalking johnny’s path... which also has weird implications if the johnny’s nomad era is being kept from v. 

(this also leads into my belief that the star ending/the devil ending are narratively two sides of the same coin, but that’s a WHOLE ANOTHER POST for another day.)

TWO, just straight up the fact that they turned the raid where they actually obtained the nukes into an action flick BD that pretty much ANYONE could watch. who the hell was doing that?? 

well, who else other than the guy who johnny (optionally) punched the shit out of for filming alt's death: thompson, media guy, and according to rogue, “bad luck”. because you know, recording your crimes is straight up evidence that can be used against you.

during the alt flashback we meet thompson, and just after that in cyberspace before meeting alt, johnny tells v that he has no idea what happened to him and that they never worked together again. 

oh, johnny, you lying bastard man

this is blatantly untrue, and if V even had two braincells and better memory than a goldfish they'd know this--in the first flashback sequence where johnny and rogue nuke arasaka tower, thompson is on the comms as they ride the AV towards AHQ, questioning their plans and use of violence. 

which leaves me with some questions, like where the fuck is thompson, why does johnny keep lying about this, why doesn't johnny say almost anything about how you interact with the aldecaldo clan nonstop throughout the game when he himself may have been a member of the family for some time?? is he continuing to protect the nomad clan that saved his ass? we know that a lot of his flashbacks are unreliable at best, that johnny changes shit up as desired when presenting V with his memories.

in 2077, you can also find that there’s a remake of “badlands raid” in the shard “new release braindances” that is pretty much everywhere. that shard doesn’t add much, but does mention something along the lines of “many people don’t know the ending of the original” which probably means johnny punched thompson out for filming again, or something. 

my running theories: rogue ditched santiago and the aldecaldos with johnny and thompson to nuke arasaka tower, and when johnny died she was stuck looking for (heavily implied by johnny here:) corpo sellout ways to survive.

adam smasher obviously has something to do with this since johnny/rogue's vendetta against the guy isn't entirely clear beyond the smokescreen of "he killed johnny and he sucks". i have done 0 research into this though i'm tired of typing okay

i obviously cannot be certain i have found everything related to this in the game as i’m not even done with this playthrough where i’m trying to pay attention, but i hope this is fun for someone else to dig into. 

enjoy, fellow silverhand freaks

EDIT: additional findings

ALRIGHT I HAVE DONE MORE DIGGING AND I AM BACK WITH MORE NOMAD/JOHNNY FINDINGS. these ones are kind of a bummer but VERY interesting.

there’s a shard called “excerpts from a history of the nomads by bb pires” that goes into detail about how nomads came to be

there’s an interesting quote in it: It's hard to imagine a group less inclined to wandering than farmers, but in fact they were the ones who sparked the age of nomads. Natural catastrophes, crops ravaged by bioplagues, armed conflicts and martial law allowing corporations to speculate and privatize land - all this forced them into a life on the road.

when you ask johnny why he wants to take down arasaka, he begins by referencing this himself!!

it’s a little awkward to imagine a nomad V doesn’t also know what he’s referencing, but hey, V is the fool because we are as players and that’s only one life path... so sure.

johnny also has unique dialogue during this scene about a nomad origin V, telling them that he’s been trying to understand how V thinks, and came to the conclusion that “their family was a crutch” and essentially made them stupid because they always had a safety net (lmao johnny calling v privileged basically)

BUT this also may reference why johnny would find it confusing as hell that V doesn’t immediately share the views he does when nomads, in terms of values, seem to be more aligned with johnny than V is. but once again V is the fool for a reason and this is all my own speculation so YOU KNOW.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, at the end of chippin’ in, when you ask johnny what he meant by letting down his friends... santiago is named directly

i thought this was interesting since the only glimpse of their relationship that we get is seeing johnny meeting santiago via the alt flashback for the first time.

so now it’s obvious that while johnny and rogue were with the nomads their friendship developed, and johnny went on to disappoint santiago in some way by being his normal dickhead self

but HOW? how did he disappoint santiago? is santiago even still alive?? did smasher kill santiago and is this why rogue mentions during chippin’ in that she wants smasher to “settle a score” moreso than avenge johnny??

the only additional hints i have are from this shard, which you can find at the aldecaldos camp: “nomads at ground zero”

i’m just gonna transcribe here and bold for emphasis:

It was no secret that Night Corp offered generous pay and, in some cases, free cyberware and biomonitor upgrades to anyone willing to help clean up the crater of radioactive rubble at AHQ ground zero. Some firsthand accounts recall the incessant ticking of Geiger counters, like the loud buzz of cicadas in summer. In retrospect, we can only guess how many "crater cleaners" lost their lives to radiation sickness shortly thereafter. Both the city government and Night Corp have claimed casualties were kept to a minimum, while providing no official statistics to substantiate the claim. That being said, they have never been under pressure to release such figures. After all, most rescue, engineering, and rubble cleanup teams were not local Night Citizens, but nomads. Surprised you didn't know? Don't be. It is a fact many history courses tend to overlook. The city employed hundreds of nomad mercenaries, primarily from clans in Aldecaldo nation. These nomads were hungry for gainful work and the city needed experts who were not only experienced but brave enough to knowingly put their lives on the line - all so Arasaka could one day erect another tower in its place. But history is not without its sense of irony. These nomads, who so deliberately live outside our so-called "system," came to its very rescue. Not for the first time. And not for the last.

a main theme we find in this game is the idea that the system of corps and exploitation cannot be stopped by grandiose rebellious gestures--no amount of samurai songs, assassinating mayors, or even planting nukes in towers will change things. yet johnny, his friends and mercs at atlantis in the 2020s, including rogue, chose to rebel any way they could, thinking it better than not. johnny criticizes her lack of rebellious spirit CONSTANTLY in 2077.

but ultimately, johnny, trapped in mikoshi, didn’t get to see the outcome of what detonating the AHQ nukes did to night city’s fragile ecosystem. rogue, however, did--and likely watched their former allies, the aldecaldos, be forced to take dangerous work at AHQ’s ground zero (from lack of other opportunities as detailed in this shard), then die from radiation sickness throughout the following decades, all as a result of what she and johnny did to try and fight the system. and she also watched all the former mercenaries of atlantis be hunted down by arasaka.

so rogue sees firsthand what the cost of rebellion is and johnny doesn’t. and nomads, considered the most free of any of the factions we encounter in the game, are the cost.

[just-here-for-the-moment]

Paloma, Part I

Series Masterlist - Part I - Part II

Word count: 4100+

Rating: mature, 18+ only

Outline: Statesman!Frankie "Catfish" Morales, Agent Jack “Whiskey” Daniels, and "You" (OC cis/het female reader, Statesman research analyst, code name “Paloma”; age 26; reader is “blank canvas”/no physical description/no use of “Y/N”)

Warnings: fully legal age gap; curse words; references to M/F sex; lots of yearning; a little sprinkling of angst; American readers, please be warned that this piece features the absolutely filthy fantasy of Statesman paying off your student loans in full

You left Kentucky on a sunny June morning with a rolling suitcase, six cardboard boxes, and a heart full of golden light. You were ready for the new challenges of your promotion and the move to New York, but it was still hard to quell the little butterflies that insisted on dancing and twirling in your gut. Statesman HQ was like a beacon that had been calling to you for the last three years, and you were half-convinced that the promotion and the move were a daydream; something that would be snatched out of your hands if you thought about it too much.

It was strange to leave Kentucky, your home since you were four years old. You had been raised in a small town about an hour south of Louisville, and you hadn't had the opportunity to leave until college. Even then you didn't travel very far, just to a dorm room at the University of Louisville, going back to your hometown for every vacation instead of flying off to California or Europe like some of your more glamorous friends.

You had put your time to good use, though. You busted your ass and completed an accelerated program in Criminal Justice that earned you both a Bachelor's and a Master's in one go, with a minor in statistics and data science. The result was a deep and abiding love of research and analysis, with the burning desire to do good in the world.

---

The Friday morning of your graduation ceremony, you emerged from your apartment fresh-faced and giddy, ready to walk the stage and start the next phase: adult life in the "real world." You knew that your life was about to change, but as you juggled the garment bag with your cap and gown and tried to lock your door, you had no idea just how much. You heard a soft voice say your name behind you, and it made you jump and drop your purse, spilling the contents across your doorstep. You turned to see a woman of about 40, with flawless terra-cotta skin and an adorable mop of chestnut hair. Black horn-rimmed glasses framed bright, inquisitive eyes. She immediately bent to help you retrieve your belongings, stammering gentle apologies.

"I'm so sorry! Let me help you get your things. I didn't mean to scare you." She smiled sweetly at you and handed you back your sunglasses and lip gloss.

"No! It's fine, I'm sorry I'm so preoccupied." You lifted the garment bag by way of explanation. "Graduation day! Um, how can I help you?"

"You don't know me, but my name is Ginger. I work for an organization that recruits bright young minds like yours. It's a lot to explain, but if you're interested in a job interview next week, we'd love to talk with you." She handed you a creamy white business card with a Louisville address.

You frowned. "Statesman Distillery? I don't have any experience with alcohol production or marketing. I do data analysis and my degrees are in criminal justice."

"We know. We've been following your research and your schooling for a while." She gave you a mischievous smile, and it looked for all the world like she was hiding something fun behind it, something secretive and intriguing that made you want to know more.

"Please, just give me an hour of your time next week? When you have some time to pay us a visit, just call that number and ask for me. I'm really looking forward to chatting with you."

You thanked her and promised you would call, and then you tucked the card into your bag and forgot all about it for nearly a week. Graduation day was hectic, with lots of relatives visiting and interrogating you about your career plans, and the days afterward were spent attending parties and saying goodbye to friends who were scattering to far-flung places. After you had finished the last of your university-related errands like returning a few library books and picking up your official transcript, there wasn't much left to do except putter around your apartment and take a few days off before beginning a job search. Those student loans weren't going to pay themselves off.

You found Ginger's card in your purse on Wednesday morning and put it on the fridge with a magnet. On Thursday you were so hungover you didn't want to make any calls. On Friday you found yourself at loose ends with nothing planned, so you picked up the phone and dialed. When you reached the switchboard you gave your name and asked for Ginger, and they put you right through. She picked up after one ring, as if she had been waiting for your call.

"Hi! I'm so glad you called me! Can you come by today?" Ginger sounded genuinely excited to talk to you, not smarmy or fake like other corporate recruiters you had spoken with.

"Oh, uh, yeah. I mean, yes, thank you. Are you sure today's okay? I can come next week if that's better."

"No! Please come whenever you're ready. I'm really hoping you'll like what you see."

"Okay, will I need to dress up? Will I be meeting with anyone for an interview? Should I bring copies of my resume?" You wanted to make a good impression, but you weren't sure if this was just something the distillery did casually, like a winery tour, or if you would need to be ready for a formal interview.

"Nope! Just bring yourself! We already know everything we need to know about your qualifications."

"Ah... okay. I'm all yours. I'll see you in about an hour?"

"Perfect! I'll leave your name at the front gate with the guard. Just show them your ID and they'll wave you through."

You said your goodbyes and put the phone down. What kind of data analysis job was even available at a distillery? Market trends? Did they need a criminal justice major for tracking down rip-offs, like people counterfeiting their product? But wait, didn't the government do that kind of thing? The ATF? You shook your head clear of questions and hopped in the shower. You could ask Ginger all of your questions, since she seemed to be so happy to talk with you.

When you arrived at the Statesman Distillery an hour later, you were impressed at the size of the facility. Distilleries were pretty common in the state of Kentucky, with lots of little family companies sprinkled around. But Statesman rivaled the big names for sheer square footage.

Ginger met you in a conference room and offered you coffee, and then asked you to sign a non-disclosure agreement. You didn't think twice about it. NDAs were common in lots of industries, and you guessed that it had something to do with trade secrets, Statesman not wanting to leak information about their whiskey production details. When Ginger began the tour and you walked down a long hallway with multiple sparkling white laboratories behind thick glass, you found it unusual, but not alarming. Cleanrooms, maybe? Something to do with alcohol distillation formulas, probably.

When she ushered you into a large wood-paneled office and introduced you to Champ, the head of Statesman, you thought it was odd. Companies didn't normally introduce new college graduates to executives during tours. Based on the size of the organization, you thought you might meet the CEO or President once or twice a year, maybe at a holiday party or a company retreat. But he was friendly, and he seemed to have already heard of you; his eyebrows raised an inch at Ginger when she gave him your name. He also seemed far more interested in criminal justice and data analysis than you expected for a distillery executive, but you shook hands and answered all of his questions politely.

When Ginger asked you to step into an elevator and it dropped 10 floors, you started to wonder a little. When the doors opened and she walked you to a room with a huge bank of monitors, with screens showing all kinds of maps and security video feeds, you were downright confused. But when she revealed the cherry on top, the fact that Statesman was not in the business you thought they were? That was too shocking. You were sure she was joking. You turned behind you to look for hidden cameras, expecting a prank show host to come jumping out at you.

"This is a joke, right?"

Ginger smiled that sweet, warm smile at you. "No joke. We want you to join the Research Unit, working in the Data Analysis section. You would be keeping our agents safe, helping them make the best decisions possible. And in turn your work could save lives, hundreds of them. Maybe even thousands. What do you say?"

"I... uh... I still think you’re joking. I’ve never heard of anything like this. I… are you sure you want me?"

"Yes, if you're interested. We could use you on the team." She pushed a little slip of paper into your hand, and when you saw the annual salary that was listed, you almost fainted.

"Ginger, this is way too much. I just graduated and this is, like... this is a senior analyst's salary. I'd be able to pay off my student loans in like three years!"

"Actually, we would be paying your student loans off before you start work. If you have financial burdens hanging over your head you could be vulnerable to bribes or extortion attempts from foreign governments or bad actors. We want you clear before you start with us. Think of it as a signing bonus."

"Holy shit! Sorry, I mean... I... Jesus." You looked at her in confusion. "Y'all really want me?"

She smiled and nodded. "Yes, we really do."

"Okay, when do I start?"

And that had been it, your first "big girl" job out of college. You were welcomed warmly to the Statesman team, and you loved the fact that you did interesting work that had a real impact. The hardest part had been telling your friends and family the required cover story, saying you were doing market analysis until you could find a job in criminal justice somewhere. But since you were happy with your new job and it paid well, none of them pressured you to move on.

During your first two years with Statesman you climbed the ranks, earning promotions and new responsibilities that eventually put you in the seat of Assistant Director of Data Analysis. You had risen high enough in Statesman that your work required a code name, and you chose “Paloma,” a nod to your favorite grapefruit cocktail. You answered directly to the head of the Research Unit, and every report that your team produced was vital. You weren't wasting your talent in some corporate hole, enriching the CEO's salary at the expense of your sanity. You were saving lives, making a difference. Your reports had even been sent to the New York headquarters, where they used them as a model for operations.

And the job had brought you romance, too. One day not long after your promotion to Assistant Director, you were walking out of the conference room, so focused on your phone that you didn't see where you were going. You bumped into something large and solid in a denim shirt, and a pair of warm, calloused hands held your shoulders to steady you. You cursed softly to yourself and then looked up into the most gorgeous pair of brown eyes that you had ever seen. A man with patchy stubble and a well-worn baseball cap smiled at you, eyes crinkling with warmth.

"Whoa! Are you okay?" His eyes looked concerned as they searched your face. You looked at him with wonder. He was so, so beautiful. The smile dropped, and then his brows knitted together into a slight frown. "I said, are you okay?"

You realized you were staring with your mouth half open like some lovestruck teenager, and that an embarrassing amount of time had passed since you first met his eyes.

"Yes!" Your voice was louder than you intended. "Yes, I'm sorry. Sorry I bumped into you. I should have watched where I was going. I'm sorry."

"That's okay. Did I hurt you?"

"Ah, no. No, I'm fine. Sorry. Just distracted today."

"That's okay. Sorry I startled you." He smiled again and squeezed your upper arm.

You could have stayed there forever, leaning into his touch. He let go, much to your chagrin, and then went into the conference room. You made a note to ask someone who he was, to see if you could find out more about him. He wasn't being escorted by a staff member, so he was obviously part of the Statesman organization somehow. Someone would know who he was.

You went into the ladies room, running into Ginger at the sinks. "Oh, Paloma! I'm so glad I saw you. I need to steal your boss for an urgent matter. Can you run his 11:00 meeting in the conference room? I know it's last minute, but I'll buy you lunch later."

Your brain flickered out for a nanosecond. The 11:00 meeting? The conference room? The handsome man? You recovered your composure and smiled at Ginger. "Yeah, no problem at all. Tell him to drop his notes off in the conference room and I'll be there in just a moment."

Ginger smiled and punched your shoulder softly. "Thanks, Pal. I owe you one."

You washed your hands in a trance. Oh lord, this was going to be interesting. You squared your shoulders and met your own eyes in the mirror. You looked exactly like you had this morning, just your normal self. Most of the time that was fine, but right now you wanted to be more glamorous, more devastating. You wanted to absolutely bewitch the handsome mystery man in the meeting. In the absence of some kind of last-minute emergency Hollywood makeup team, you would have to settle for a fresh application of lip balm and a quick scrub of your teeth with a damp paper towel. You flicked a stray eyebrow hair into place, sighed, and headed back to the conference room. Looks weren't important anyway, right? Statesman had hired you for your brain, not your face. And really, you were more interested in showing your boss that you could do well in your new role. So you banished your insecurities from your mind and breezed into the meeting.

"Good morning everyone." You studiously chose not to look at the handsome man you had run into, keeping your eyes on your notes for the time being. You were afraid that if you looked at him you wouldn't be able to tear your gaze away. "The Director has been called away for an urgent matter, so I'll be leading today’s operational planning meeting. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Paloma."

You risked a glance at the handsome stranger, relieved to see that his eyes were on his notepad and not on you. You let out a breath and found your stride, walking the group through the team's findings, the data, the implications, and the desired outcome for the mission. Agent Tequila asked a few cocky, half-assed questions, probing you for weaknesses. Normally that would have irritated you, but today it was a welcome focus that took your mind off the butterflies. You knocked Tequila back in place with a few well-chosen words, and then opened up the floor for questions.

The handsome man raised his hand, and your eyes fixed on how large and thick his fingers were. Oh God, this was torture. "Yes, Mr...?"

"Catfish. Um, can you tell me more about the extraction plan?"

"Yes, absolutely." You went over that phase of the mission, giving all the details your team had gathered about the terrain and the timing. When you were done, Catfish smiled at you, and your knees went weak at the sight of the dimple that appeared. No one else had questions, so you closed the meeting and stood to leave.

Suddenly there was a warm wall of denim at your elbow. "Hey, that was really detailed information. Thank you so much for walking me through everything."

You turned and smiled. "You're welcome. Glad I could help." You fumbled for something to say, trying to extend the conversation and keep him in your orbit for however long you could while everyone else filed out of the room.

"So, um, you go by 'Catfish.' Can I ask why? That's your code name, right? There's not some kind of hidden tragedy where that's the name your parents actually wrote on your birth certificate?"

He chuckled, throwing his head back. The expanse of his thick neck and bobbing Adam's apple did nothing to improve the butterflies. They only fluttered harder, rising higher in your chest.

"It's an old Army nickname, I was Special Forces about a million years ago. Now I'm here on the transport team. I'm a helicopter pilot. When we're not working you can just call me Frankie."

"Ah." You bit your lip and nodded. Why couldn't you think of something else to say? Fortunately, Frankie continued the conversation.

"And you're Paloma around here? I love that drink. Am I allowed to know your real name, or is that classified?"

You grinned and shook his hand, giving him your name. When it rolled off his lips in that deep voice it sounded like heaven to you. You didn't want anyone else to say your name ever again. Just him.

He leaned closer, like he was sharing a secret. “Can I ask you a question? Top secret.” He winked, and you nodded.

“Can I take you to lunch?”

Your heart dropped into your pelvis, and you gulped, hard. “Y-yes. Yes, that would be great. I’d love to.”

---

When Ginger found you in your office at 2:00 p.m. you were staring off into space, smiling blissfully.

“Hey, Paloma. Why did you blow me off for lunch? I came by at 12:30, I was going to take you out.”

“Oh! Oh my god, Ginger, I’m so sorry! I had a date.”

She raised her eyebrows at you, settling down in one of your visitors chairs. “A date?”

“No! Not a date. A, um…” You burst into husky giggles, and then confessed everything to her: the handsome man, the crinkles around his eyes, his dimples and his silly code name, the easy conversation over lunch, and the fact that he had scribbled his phone number down on a sticky note that was now burning a hole in your pocket. You felt like you were 12 again, confiding in your girlfriend about crushes and cute boys.

Ginger laughed and gave your hand a squeeze. “No wonder you forgot about me. I can’t compete with a handsome helicopter pilot!”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Ginger. I really didn’t mean to forget.”

“No, it’s okay. But definitely call him this weekend and make a real date. I’ll want details when you take me out for an apology lunch on Monday.” She winked and left your office.

You sat back in your chair and tilted back to look at the ceiling while you considered it. Was it too soon to call him and make a date? Ugh, this was agony. You decided that going by conventional rules hadn’t really mattered to you at any point in your life until now, so why the hell not?

You took a deep breath, trying to puff up your confidence. When he answered the phone on the second ring, you dove right in. “Hi, Catfish? It’s Paloma. Listen, I had a really good time at lunch, and I’d like to see you this weekend if you’re free.”

---

On Monday, you had a whole lot to report to Ginger.

Frankie took you up for a sightseeing flight on your date, and you loved the way he controlled everything; making sure he warned you before any sudden movements, and checking that you weren’t getting airsick or anxious. When the rotors were stilled and you were back on the ground, Frankie reached over to help you unbuckle your harness. Something got stuck, and the agonizing extra seconds of feeling him jostle the strap near your hip made you bold. When it was finally free and he was about to pull his hand away, you grabbed his wrist. He looked at you, alarmed that something was wrong, and you crashed your lips against his, all teeth and tongue and wanting. Frankie was as good a kisser as he was a pilot, and you spent the rest of the date making out in his truck.

The next weekend, you found out that his warm, work-worn hands were also magic in the bedroom. Frankie was adept at tweaking your sensitive spots as gently as the little buttons and switches of the flight panel, bringing you to thrumming heights the same way he did his helicopter.

The rest of the summer passed in heady, humid days and nights like a dream. You loved Frankie’s easy sense of humor and his confidence in the cockpit. But Frankie was less confident about your relationship, voicing concerns about the decade-plus that separated your ages, and whether he was keeping you from dating men your own age. He made self-deprecating comments about being an “old man,” and you reassured him that there was no one you’d rather be with, no one who could sway your attention. You loved using your hands and arms and lips and tongue to reassure him, finding that he had his own sensitive spots that you could manipulate. You loved sending him to sleep with a smile on his face.

But as much as you and Frankie enjoyed the relationship, the nature of his work with the transportation team meant that he was never in town for very long. At the same time, your job was getting more complex, requiring late nights at the office that interfered with your time together. You refused to dwell too much on the fact that you were torn, that you loved your work as equally as you wanted to spend those nights with Frankie.

By the end of the summer, you both came to the realization that it was nobody’s fault, simply a case of poor circumstances, and you decided to end things and remain friends. In October Frankie left Statesman to take a job that relocated him to Florida. You were wistful, and you missed him, but at least it had been an amicable split. At least friends was something. And as sometimes happens even with the best of intentions, the time in between each phone call grew longer, and you eventually lost touch. Last you heard he was spending weekends with his old Army buddies who all lived nearby, and he had a new girlfriend. By February the ache was starting to subside, and by April you were nearly ready to date again.

In May, almost three years to the day after Ginger’s visit to your apartment had changed your life, you were offered the position to lead the Data Analysis team in New York. You jumped at the chance. Statesman located an apartment for you, and from the pictures you were already in love with it. Huge windows looked out over the city, and it was within walking distance of Statesman HQ. Your farewell party was bittersweet. Ginger offered to come visit you, and promised that New York would be everything you hoped it would be. Your team gave you such high praises that you joked that if that’s what it took to hear accolades, you would have left ages ago.

---

Your first few days in New York were spent acclimating to the Statesman HQ, and getting to know your neighborhood. It was strange to find that you could walk or take the subway for whatever you needed, compared to the Midwest where a car was required for everything. Your new team was welcoming, and you enjoyed your new duties immensely. Your first two weeks on the job passed in no time, and you went home every night feeling like you could fly.

And then you hit a wall, in the form of Jack Daniels, a.k.a. “Senior Agent Whiskey.” You knew him by reputation, of course. Ginger had filled you in on his exploits, his overbearing charm, his smarmy flirtations. You had seen him once or twice in passing when he had visited Champ’s office, but you hadn’t actually met him in person.

When you finally did, you almost asked for an immediate transfer back to Louisville. --- "Paloma" Series Masterlist Just-here-for-the-moment’s masterlist

Tag list: @honeymandos @driedgreentomatoes @silverwolf319 @mourningbirds1 @honestly-shite @anaaaispunk @greeneyedblondie44 @spacedilf @maxwell–lord @nicolethered @dihra-vesa @the-queen-of-fools @juletheghoul @anxiousandboujee

[candiedcatnip]

In light of stumbling across yet another thread of (white) people being mad and disappointed about even a singular poc being cast in Amazon's Silm series, I am once again thinking about when people have so little capacity for critical thinking or self-reflection that they have no idea what they're actually saying when they speak.

Whenever someone says an actor was cast for "diversity points" or some other variation of that idea the follow up should be; how do you know that? How do you know they specifically sought out poc for that role? (Doing so is good but people who say this kinda thing clearly ain't in a place where that conversation will do jack shit). The answer is, inevitably; "I don't", regardless of whether they want to admit it outright or not. You have no real way of knowing how that casting call went. Maybe 20 white people tried out but one Black person auditioned and blew them right out of the water. Choosing not to cast the Black actor in this scenario would be extremely blatant racism. For those who worship at the altar of "committment to canon" or however you choose to word it; not all characters are well described in their media of origin. Not to mention some characters are made to fill out the existing cast/world. You have no idea whether there were white people who tried out for a role and did better than the actor who was given it. What you say when you see a person of color was cast and immediately shout "diversity points!" is that you can not fucking fathom that a person of color could be a better actor than any selection of white people. There's no getting around that. You're saying white people are inherently better and more talented than people of color. That is what you are fucking saying.

If you genuinely believe that then you are obviously a white supremacist and are more than likely fully aware of that. If you don't then you need to start fucking thinking about the things you say regarding race before you fucking say it.

*Full Disclosure; I'm white and I also don't doubt somewhere on the internet poc have said this better. I've read posts about fandom/media in general but not seen much of anything regarding work from Tolkien. I don't really interact with Fandoms. Any reccs to relevant posts or blogs by poc would be appreciated though.

[vanhelsingenthusiast]

.... Omg! Can you please give us analysis of each character and how they are portrayed in the book and then the movies?

Oohh ok! (I’m just gonna go thru the characters and how they are in the book vs how they are usually portrayed in adaptations. These things do not apply to every single adaptation, or even necessarily one specific adaptation, full disclosure, lol) (also this will be very long, so, it’s under the cut.) 

Mina: 

~ In the book: kind, sweet, caring, motivated, intelligent, interesting, funny. I could go on and on. The protagonist. She IS the moment. She could defeat Dracula without the men but the men could not defeat Dracula without her. I said what I said. 

~ In adaptations: typically kind, but may or may not be any more intelligent than the men. Typically portrayed as a damsel in distress, though in the book she isn’t. Almost always Dracula’s love interest. Sometimes she even low-key betrays the Crew to help him. Her personality is very often reduced to one or two traits/archetypes so she can better fit the role of Dracula’s love interest. 

Jonathan: 

~ In the book: Damsel in distress. He can sometimes come across as boring, because he’s the only very average person in the book, but that’s because he’s supposed to be. It’s a compare and contrast type of thing. Even then, he’s incredibly brave, and incredibly determined. He represents the average person, rising up to the challenge. 

~ In adaptations: oh, Jonathan?? You mean the only reason why Mina and Dracula can’t bone??? Yeah but it’s fine if Mina cheats a little bc also he’s an asshole for no reason ://// 

Lucy: 

~ In the book: A delight. Absolute angel. Everyone loves her and she loves everyone but not always in the way they want. If she could she would move all of her friends into a little cottage and bake bread and make tea for them for the rest of forever. Part of the reason why her transformation into the Bloofer Lady is so scarring is because she was genuinely so good-hearted before that. 

~ In adaptations: lol she has three suitors so she must be suuuuper promiscuous (side note: not a bad thing but most adaptations portray it as such), and also because of that she definitely wanted Dracula to turn her into a vampire. 

Arthur: 

~ In the book: Lucy’s fiancée. Also he’s fuckin loaded so he helps fund the whole expedition. Interpretations of him change kinda drastically because he’s not given much canon personality or back story, but he’s overall a pretty decent guy. He can be mean but, like, in a loving way. 

~ In adaptations: if he’s there at all he’s usually Just Some Guy. Which, like. fair.  

Jack: 

~ In the book: a psychiatrist who desperately needs to see a psychiatrist but he is not self aware enough to know this. Used to be Van Helsing’s student. He definitely can be an ass (especially to Renfield), but it’s usually more that he just doesn’t think how his actions affect other people all the way through than him actively being a terrible person on purpose, if that makes sense. Him and his interest in science and technology symbolize the heralding of the new age, which is in contrast with Dracula, who is only ever “living” in the past (bedum tsss). 

~ In adaptations: sometimes he’s Van Helsing’s peer rather than ex-student. Usually he doesn’t still keep a phonograph, or even an active interest in technology, which is...a disservice. He can either be nice, or mean, usually not very nuanced or interesting. Honestly I feel like usually in adaptations he’s kinda just used as the gap to get Van Helsing there and then he does nothing after that.  

Quincey: 

~ In the book: literally the guy who kills Dracula. A Texan, as well, which seems funny now but at the time it was a fairly common trope to add in a foreigner. He’s pretty calm always, especially in a crisis, and also willing to step up and do whatever’s needed of him. And, again, he literally kills Dracula. Easily one of the more important characters in the book, except he doesn’t keep a diary so most people don’t acknowledge this. Also at one point it’s stated he’s rich af iirc so that’s funny. 

~ In adaptations: what do you mean we should add the guy who killed Dracula??? Nah it’ll be fine without him 

Van Helsing: 

~ In the book: he’s the hero of the story (not the protagonist, that’s separate). Him and Dracula are character foils. He’s the guy who knows everything about vampires, and also the guy who specifically knows how to stop Dracula. Even then, he isn’t a professional vampire hunter, or even, like, an expert. He just happens to know a shit ton about this. His name means “father of multitudes” and he is the Designated Dad of the group. He probably makes everyone hot cocoa and tells them weird stories about spiders drinking oil from lamps after a long day. 

~ In adaptations: murder grandpa is an asshole who also has no idea what he’s talking about because it makes Dracula look better 

Count Dracula: 

~ In the book: the villain. He could represent a lot of things — anything from a plague, to the past creeping up and not staying buried where it should, to Stoker’s internalized homophobia, to Stoker’s own xenophobia or antisemitism, or all of the above, or none. He has a lot of layers and each layer is a new level of villainy. We don’t know a lot about him, admittedly — who he was in life, why he became a vampire, what all of his powers are, or even his motivations for coming to London. He can represent any evil we want at all, which makes him a very affective villain. Also he’s supposedly related to Atilla the Hun which is funny af to me for no reason 

~ In adaptations: incel!Vlad III 

Renfield:  

~ In the book: admittedly, he does not have much baring on the plot. He tends to act as a meter for how close Dracula is at any given moment, until his death when Mina takes over that role. However, he introduces many themes and topics into the story: insanity, corruption, idealization of evil, etc., and he and Lucy work together to showcase how vampirism corrupts and how it can destroy even relatively innocent people. Even though Renfield has a bit of a reputation of being violent and volatile, he only ever really does something violent once, which wasn’t even entirely of his own volition and he sacrifices himself for the greater good. 

~ In adaptations: oh no scary evil insane man1!!11! he’s obviously just horrible it’s not like Dracula is manipulating him!11!! if Dracula were to manipulate him then Dracula wouldn’t be a sympathetic antihero :((( 

The Three Weird Sisters: 

~ In the book: the antithesis to Lucy’s suitors. They are supposed to be seductive, and dangerous, above all. They might be Dracula’s victims, or they could be some other vampires unrelated, we don’t really know. Not much is said about them and that’s likely very much on purpose. They have the same air of mystery about them as Dracula does, if not more. A lot of the horror in this book is based in the fear of the unknown. 

~ In adaptations: walking boobs with fangs. Usually so much is changed about the story that none of the above is even relevant or can be applied to them. 

Anyways thanks for the ask and I hope this answers your question :) 

[we-are-inevitable]

toxic relationship hcs you say?? 😈 i adore this au so much jac

- sometimes they’ll just. argue about nothing into the early hours of the morning, then have hate sex and go to bed angry. jack’s favourite non-apology is to come home with a baggie of coke or something and be like “would this make you feel better babe?”,, whereas davey is probably more likely to actually say he’s sorry, even if he wasn’t really in the wrong in the first place

- davey gets so possessive and jealous when it comes to jack, even when it’s just with his friends that he’s not remotely romantic or sexual with. he knows he’s being irrational, but sometimes he finds himself guilt-tripping jack about it anyways :/

- ok on a slightly different note. not sure how hard of drugs they do in this au,, but some good angst fuel could be one of them ending up in a k hole and the other having absolutely no fucking clue what to do about it. like jack’s completely dissociated and confused and hallucinating so bad that he can’t even move, and davey is pretty high himself and he’s never seen someone get like this before, so he’s freaking out. maybe he even ends up calling one of jack’s friends to help, even though he knows they don’t really like him

kath i hope u know that i am actually in love with you holy SHIT

also just in case, but:

TW: drugs, alcohol, discussion of sexual topics, toxic relationships

okay so right off the bat: jack using drugs to make make davey Not Pissed Off is something that can be so personal,

i feel like i should also establish- for anyone reading this- that jack and david are absolutely horrible people in this au, by the way. i'll get into more on that later.

but yeah, jack knows davey, and jack knows that davey is happier when high, so when davey is high, davey is happy, and davey tends to get high after they fight. it's a constant cycle of anger and drugs and numbness and "i love you" and it's almost disorienting, but they're both too far gone to care at that point.

so, when davey is angry at jack, jack will let him take the first hits from a blunt, or splurge and bring home the "good" coke, or offer to help him shoot up in the bathroom.

BUT when jack is mad at DAVEY, jack tends to be a bit more selfish with his shit. davey's "apologies" are basically him just apologizing so jack will get high with him again, or fuck him again, or smoke with him on the balcony again.

all in all, jack pacifies davey and davey tells jack what he wants to hear. neither are actually sorry.

MOVING ON:

davey getting possessive over jack is ABSOLUTELY something that happens. because, well, davey... doesn't really have anyone else?

he went low contact with his family for jack. he rarely stays at his own dorm when they're first starting their relationship- he's always at jack's- so he doesn't really get along with his roommate anymore. he doesn't talk to people in his classes and lectures. he spends every moment he has with jack, because jack is the only person giving him the attention he needs.

it gets worse when they actually move in together, once they can move out of the dorms.

he gets upset when jack goes to a party without him. he gets upset when jack spends a lot of time with his friends. on the rare occasions that jack's friends want to get high (on weed; they don't do harder shit like jack), david is LIVID when jack comes home smelling like weed- because david wasn't there.

david has a lot of codependence issues.

FINALLY:

alright so full disclosure: i DID have to look this up on urban dictionary.

i imagine that ketamine isn't something that they get their hands on often, but they probably do it a few times; just when jack feels like changing things up a bit.

as for a bad experience: YES

and it would be an interesting role reversal, too, bc jack is usually the one to take care of davey while davey's high. jack is just naturally more experienced; hes been playing with fire since he was fifteen, and davey is still relatively new to this, so more often than not, it's davey who pushes a little too far bc he doesn't know his limits yet.

but thinking about davey having to help jack through a bad trip... GOD kath your MIND

and if davey DOES end up calling one of jack's friends, it's basically futile. they'd insist on getting jack checked out, or taking him to a hospital, or trying to talk jack into getting clean and going to rehab (again), and as bad as it sounds... davey doesn't want that.

jack is his gateway into everything. sex, drugs, alcohol, parties. his entire new lifestyle. davey is, quite literally, addicted to jack.

this is going to sound cliche but

jack is his drug, and david isn't ready to get clean.

also, i'm going to go into some more NSFW stuff down below the cut, so just be warned! (the actual fic isn't going to be sexually explicit, but there are some scenes that are very heavily implied and will be tagged as such.)

so, as you said, the hate-sex is very common.

also okay so like. in this au, davey isn't exactly a virgin when they meet but jack absolutely brings a new side of sex to the table- a side that david has never experienced before.

i'm not going to go into specifics, but jack is just a lot more possessive and aggressive than anything david is used to.

and this isn't just in sexual situations! it's very much applicable to their relationship as a whole.

(i want to clarify- when i say aggressive i don't mean in a Yikes! way, but you should also know that, even though this situation is shitty, david knows his limits. david knows what he wants to accept, and he's very willingly accepting the aggression that jack carries with him. again, not to be graphic, but david is into it. just to clarify!)

but yeah the rough sex is like. their normal

and they're only soft and slow when one of them specifies that it's what they need in that moment- which does happen a few times! particularly when one of them is just,, having a sad day. that's sad sex to them

i am going to stop this here bc i don't want to get too explicit with this answer, but you mentioned hate-sex and i just. have feelings about the sexual side of their relationship (which the fic will get into), and i guess we can use this as a warning for some of the content to come when i actually start posting the fic ?? idk

thank u so much for this ask !! i'm sure this is way longer than u wanted !! but i had so many thoughts !!!!! also feel free to ALWAYS talk to me abt this au because WOW i love it