#i know stuffed animal harm can be triggering so im sorry

[ofishialy]

Vaguely inspired off of Crime and Punishment by DECO*27

[diana-berry]

Diana Berry- an intro post

🍓hi! My name is Diana/Grace!

🍓my pronouns are she/her and those ONLY please I am cis but male pronouns make me really uncomfortable

🍓lesbian

🍓My main interest right now is identity V and South Park they’ve been hyper-fixations of mine for awhile

🍓My idv mains are Margaretha, Murro, Demi, Galatea, Ann, BonBon

🍓my idv comfort characters are Margaretha, Demi, Galatea, Mary, Michiko

🍓I DESPISE Chloe nair the perfumer due to personal and trauma related reasons. She reminds me of trauma I’ve experienced so that’s why, you may find some hate for her here.

🍓I am disabled, I have POTS, narcolepsy, asthma, depression(major depressive disorder), anemia, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and Autism. THESE ARE ALL DIAGNOSED. (Autism is a new diagnosis but I’ve been working on getting it diagnosed for awhile). I’m not wheelchair bound but I can’t walk long distances so I use one and I use a walker as well.

🍓I have severe trust issues, I will not trust people super easily

🍓basic dni criteria: proship, bigoted, homophobia, pedophilia, incest, all that makes me uncomfortable. ⚠️IF I INTERACT WITH SOMEONE PROSHIP PLEASE TELL ME! I DONT CHECK THE PAGES OF THE PEOPLE I INTERACT WITH!⚠️

🍓here’s my kin list: (won’t include them all but the ones I can think of. Also I’m not the type of kinner that like thinks I am a character, just strongly relates to.) even if I say I am them I don’t mean it I just mean I strongly relate

•Galatea (idv) -high kin

•OC version of the real Vera Nair, not the perfumer Chloe but the one the died. I have a blog for her you can check out it’s called Veraforgottenheart -high kin/literally me

•Pipp Petals (mlp g5) -High kin/literally me

•Mari (omori)- high kin

•soft gf/grace (fnf soft mod) -literally me I am her

•Evan Hansen (dear Evan Hansen)

•Sayori (ddlc)

•Starlight Glimmer (Mlp g4)

•Heidi turner (South Park)

•Flora (afk arena)

•Aurelia (cursed princess club)

•Teto (utauloid)

•Reika Aoki (smile Precure)

•Demi bourbon

•Kaede Akamatsu (danganronpa v3) -low kin

•Gardenia Reitman (end roll)

•Kyle broflovski (South Park) TOP KIN

•Mrs MayBerry (helluva boss) (I’m pretty sure she’s like one of my highest kins now uhhhh)

•Cozy Glow (MLP)(she’s a vent kin)

•Jimmy Valmer (South Park) (season 19 specifically)

•Bibury (Kira Kira Precure alamode)

•Misa Amane (Death Note)

•Dohwa (God, please make me a demon webtoon)

•Jackson (Jackson’s Diary Webtoon)

•Moondancer (MLP g4)

🍓my comfort characters are: (I won’t list ones that are kins but if they’re a kin assume they’re a comfort character too)

•Margaretha Zelle(idv)

•girlfriend (fnf)

•Applejack (mlp)

•Luka couffaine (miraculous ladybug)

•Alix Kubdel (miraculous ladybug)

•Demi Bourbon (idv)

•Dr Monique Pussycat (peepoodo and the super fuck friends)

•Mary (idv)

•Kyle broflovski (South Park)

•Amity Blight (the owl house)

•Diana Cavendish (little witch academia-I don’t remember much about her though it’s been awhile since I’ve seen the series)

•Rarity (mlp)

•Belinda (afk arena)

•Elizabeth (Frankenstein)

•Frankenstein’s monster (Frankenstein)

•Gakupo (vocaloid)

•Misa Amane (death note)

•Gardenia Reitman (end roll)

•Elder McKinley (Book of Mormon)

•Lucy Maud Montgomery (BSD)

•Izumi kyoka (BSD)

•Francis Scott Fitzgerald (BSD)

•Kasane Teto

•Kasane Ted

🍓my comfort objects include:

•cats

•strawberries

•bunnies

•identity V

•Webtoon

•flowers

•the color pink

•stuffed animals

I DON’T DO SPECIAL TRIGGER TAGS!! If it’s like something like self harm or violence or sexual or whatever you know the general triggering stuff I will normally tag it and if I didn’t it’s because I forgot, feel free to remind me! But like I’m not tagging anything special for you im sorry but that’s too much work for my simple pea brain.

I’ll add more stuff later!

User boxes by sweetpeauserboxes

Check reblogs for more

[mickadamz]

MONEY ANON HERE Ive thought it over 🚶we need to know abt billy from the adams that mf gives me such pure neurodivergent vibes it's insane.

im so sorry but he's got one of the most traumatic histories out of his entire family prepare to read some upsetting stuff. i'll put CWs around paragraph(s) where the darker, heavier subjects are mentioned/described, though. red indicates where triggering subjects start, and blue marks where they end. also its a long post and im on mobile so i forgot how to do the read more thing sorrryyy 😭😭😭

i kinda went more into his entire life story than explaining how he is and his personality but it generally does not change too much unless specifically mentioned/pointed out. personalities r harder to describe than certain behaviors - i prefer show not tell as a way of deacribing personalities qnd i hope thats present in what ive written here. otherwise you can probably pick up what oind of person he os based on tagged posts oops

HEAVY SUBJECT MATTER AHEAD SUCH AS: (MENTIONS OF) SUICIDE/IDEATION, INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, SELF HARM, CHILD HARM, STALKING, AND BULLYING

William (Billy) Benedict Adams

bisexual 💛

b. April 17 1976

diagnosed w/ autism, depression, and C-PTSD

he's the youngest of three siblings (mick, beth, billy) and looks the most like his father colbert, taking after him in a lot of ways aside from appearance, including a terrible immune system - when he was little he would get sick a lot during flu-season but gradually was able to fight it off faster as he grew older. his middle name came from his paternal great-grandfather benedict marlowe adams.

billy's pretty hyperactive and chatty. he occasionally goes through periods of being nonverbal, but his attitude and energy remain about the same. he learned how to swear when he was 9 and hasn't stopped since much to his parents' chagrin. he loves horror movies and halloween is his favorite holiday. he's modeled after young eddie kaspbrak in the 2017/2019 IT movies, both in some appearance aspects and just how he behaves in general. he talks a lot and doesnt really have a filter, and uses sarcasm and humor even if sometimes it goes over his head when others use it.

like both of his parents and his sister, he is autistic. it's more visible than it was with his parents before him, as they spent their lives masking, while allowing their kids to "be as weird as they want to be", especially at home. a lot of their kids' behaviors were just like "oh yeah i / your uncle richie / (other relative) did that too thats normal" so they didnt think anything of it. unfortunately, billy was an easy target at school and had been bullied for not masking as well as his parents and other autistic kids his age, and being very sensitive to that same teasing.

some of his special interests include stuffed animals (especially bears), generally just toys he grew up with and even stuff from before his time, and vampires just to name a few. he also likes wearing the same colors and owns a lot of black / gray sweaters and monochromatic button-ups and khakis/jeans and short variants. he also has one specific salmon-pink colored shirt that he calls The Exception. he has some issues with his motor skills

being the youngest of three in a healing marriage had certainly put a slight rift between him and his siblings. he was the baby of the family and - while not being infantilized on purpose - was given a lot of attention from his parents, especially his mother. beth hardly noticed a difference, while mick was definitely a little jealous but he kept it to himself. aside from that, billy has a pretty close knit relationship with his older siblings and likes to hang out with them and when playing together, he'd always treat their toys gently and would freak out if he accidentally broke one.

billy also idolized his father a lot, part of it coming from family members saying he looked so much like colbert. this idolization even got him intereted in his father's work and would always beg his dad to let him come with him to wilderness pizza on the weekends. he loved that place a lot. while it could get overstimulating at times given its popularity, he felt very free there. all three of his siblings liked spending time there, but mick grew older so it was just the youngest two, and beth was on her way to other interests as well when she started to get closer to her 13th birthday.

speaking of, that interest in his father's work was entirely shattered on may 22nd, 1987. beth's 13th birthday.

(CW: CHILD HARM . i tried not to go too graphic but some information is necessary to understand where his injuries and trauma came from.)

this information is currently exclusive to my personal oc universe - while events mirror CBM, there are alterations made.)

james summers, a vindictive, jealous, unstable man , former friend of colbert's and a current employee of wilderness pizza, had let his envy ans anger take hold of him as he held in years worth of vitriol and hate towards colbert and made an impulse decision to just go all out, seeing as summers's life and marriage was collapsing in on itself and he "had nothing to lose".

he chose bethany's birthday to let loose, as he had the day off and it's where two of the most precious things colbert had would be. billy and beth, his youngest biological children. beth had suffered an injury to her leg, but managed to get away and hide before anything worse could happen. billy on the other hand wasnt so lucky - given it was very dark and his already poor-hand coordination, he'd found something sharp to defend himself with and had unintentionally cut his hands with it. summers attacked him and while struggling, the kid had lost an eye, cuts on his arms and hands, and suffered some blunt force trauma which knocked a tooth out and chipped three others. scott barnet came to his rescue and billy was able to escape and find his sister hiding in the rafters above the little play area tube things. by that point he was running on pure adrenaline.

their father found them and was in the process of helping them down when beth slipped from where she was (again, it was dark) and done severe damage to her spine when crash-landing on a table. summers was approaching too fast for colbert and billy to retrieve her, the two making a run for it and hiding in a janitor's closet. while billy felt safe in the cramped room, his claustrophobic father did not and it was very visible. by the time police arrived, billy's adrenaline was starting to crash and his injuries were catching up to him. he does not remember anything after entering the closet and before waking up in the hospital the the second time.

(CW END)

billy spent a lot of time in the hospital recovering and suffered from nightmares, panic attacks, and other PTSD symptoms for years afterwards. his love for his father's work had crashed and burned, but that didn't mean their relationship had gotten worse. in fact, it only strengthened their bond. whether it was a healthy attachment or not is unclear and varies depending on who asks. he'd also been recieving counseling and therapy afterwards given the severity of his trauma.

(CW: STALKING, SELF HARM, SUICIDAL IDEATION)

during that period, though, the family was starting to struggle financially with WP being closed, hospital + counseling bills piling up alongside utilities and food and other necessities. his mother finally got a job and his father was suffering from the hard losses that came with summers's attempt on their lives. bethany was also adjusting to being almost entirely unable to walk, and mick had stepped up as a caretaker in place of their father. it was very hard on the entire family and billy felt like he was a burden. not because anybody said anything, but because he could see how much his caretakers were trying to provide for them given the financial circumstances. he didn't feel like he was worth the trouble and his feelings were overwhelming and he'd often hit himself or scratch at his face during meltdowns or panic attacks. he was only 11 when he first experienced intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideation. it was never active at this point - he was deathly terrified of pain,so he never brought it up as it wasn't an active problem.

summers wasnt done, though, and had been stalking the family for months until his sudden, unexplained murder on november 1st, 1987. it had left the family paranoid and untrusting of phone calls and mail they recieved and billy wasn't allowed to go anywhere without supervision of some kind. that left him with even more anxiety and what was later re-diagnosed as c-ptsd.

(CW END)

once the family began to recover, his mood and mental health had stabilized. he was still bullied sometimes in school but it was much... different. it was in the way you wouldnt notice until years afterwards. there was a lot of pitying and infantilism that he faced from peers and teachers to the point where it was uncomfortable, but if he spoke up to them about it they wouldn't listen. he resorred to being a class clown to make up for his "weird" behavior, and didn't make too many new friends. his best friends growinf up were jupiter summers and suzie mason, as they were in his age group and also went through the same thing as him, albeit they both came out with minimal injuries, if any at all. they were also "weird" kids and he felt at home with them. other friends in school were the espenson twins (family friends who were a few years older than him and beth), his cousin cassidy miller (see previous), jaiden summers (beth's age, also attended the party), and of course his sister bethany.

graduation was hard for billy as school was a constant for him, despite the bullying and other hardships he went through. it had structure. structure he wasn't confident he could keep if he ever got a job. he lived at home for a few years after graduation and worked at blockbuster video. he got officially diagnosed with autism around this time as well.

i havent decided if he should go to any further education like college or technical schools, so thats a big fat ??? though in the meantime he and his friends would often frequent haunted houses or walkthrough horror attractions set up at farms or old houses given his love of horror and halloween. despite his mother's concern he continuously went through with it because he knew it was a controlled environment and that he could leave at any time. plus, years of therapy had helped him learn to manage triggers and readjust to certain smells, imagery, and places. wit( that in mind, hed started coming around to things like pizza, arcades, clowns, rabbits, and animatronic characters, and later his father's business as a whole. he worked odd jobs there every so often once he felt comfortable enough being in the building again.

in 1999, a classmate from high school named kelly hotchkiss had approached him with romantic intent (and a bit of an ableist savior complex) and the two hit it off pretty well. they dated for a few monrhs, got married, and had their first child davis in 2000, followed by their middle child millie in 2002, and their youngest child alexander in 2006. their marriage was alright. his wife was the primary breadwinner, but billy confinued to work at blockbuster until it shut down in 2013, a year before shit really hit the fan. (he found another similar job elsewhere, though.)

over the years he'd been a victim of his wife's weird ableism and coddling. yes, he needed help with things, but he wasn't totally helpless or socially inept. there also came an issue with her transphobia towards their oldest son davis (ftm) and middle child millie (transmasc nonbinary). lex, like his father before him, is also autistic himself and it presented much more visibly through him having a lot of the most recognizable traits of it and also was on the receiving end of his mother's ableism.

(SUICIDAL IDEATION TW)

billy decided that he'd had and seen enough, and began the long, grueling divorce + custody battle. with help from a lawyer and emotional support from friends and family, the divorce went through and billy had full custody of his children. however, as with most major changes in his life, is threw him into a spiral of despair and anxiety. change was hard to adjust for, especially now thst he had three kids to provide for on his own. he fell into a heavy decline as he wondered if it was really worth it all, going so far as to regretting the divorce entirely and considering suicide. it got to the point where his children were affected by his bad mood and millie began to resent him for not being there emotionally, especially since lex was very attached to billy and needed his support and attention.

one night, billy was up at 3 am. and he realized something, and called his brother mick and told him "i need to get help." his brother-in-law jeremy had been through something very similar, and so billy sought out their help in getting him admitted to a hospital and arranged for billy's kids to stay with their uncles until he was stable enough to leave. it personally helped him tremendously and billy'sfamily had been reunited again. after staying in their home temporarily, billy, jeremy, and mick all agreed to billy's family staying there indefinitely, seeing as they have the money and room to accommodate them. billy still works and provides finances of his own, but he doesn't feel like he's constantly in the red anymore. he cant be fully independent and that's okay, and hes learned over his life that he absolutely has the right to lean on others for help when he cant do something on his own.

(END TW)

he's very close with all his kids and loves them all dearly, doing his best to understand what theyre going through individually and doing what he can to accommodate for them. he's very active and present in their interests and lives. like sending memes in the family group chat. he would make tiktoks for funsies. billy is very tech-savvy with modern technology - he and his cousin cassidy got really into making personal webpages and web design (they looked absolutely atrocious back in the day. partly on purpose just for fun, partly bcuz billy just had no fucking clue what he was doing)

he's also very open about the fact he's been through so much because of how actively it affects him throughout his daily life. for example: he can't drive. both because he physically cannot and out of a personal choice. he doesnt feel comfortable enough, he's physically disabled (half blind), and his motor skills lag just enough that he doesn't feel safe being behind the wheel in case has to make a quick decision on the road. while those who are half-blind can learn how to drive just fine, he personally decided it's not within his abilities. it took him years but he doesn't believe there's any shame in things like that, and there shouldn't be. he's not a public figure by any means, at least not to the extent his older brother and father are, but he does have a small platform where he talks about his personal journey through life and how he's gotten through everything because he hopes that it can help anyone going through a tough time of their own!

then there's an entirely different site/platorm where he does stuff more catered to his interests. being a young adult in the 90s-2000s kickstarted his relationship with the internet and he personally really enjoys the little spaces he's carved for himself. i think hed have a youtube channel where its him sitting in frint of a webcam reviewing horror media and old toys he got his hands on either from family, his own personal collection, or from secondhand sites and storesblike ebay or goodwill. he's very passionate about these things and its a bit of a funny contrast .

tl;dr: billy adams grew up dealing with mental illness and disabilities and the symptoms of such which made life very hard for him. despite it all, he learned how to grow around it and that it was okay to rely on others and ask for help whenever he needed it. he's curious and a bit snarky, but all-around a very kind and warm person with interests in shitty web design, horror, vampires, and toys from his generation and older.

[kamdenthefander]

TW: CURSING, YELLING, CRYING, UNSYMPATHETIC ROMAN, ANXIETY

        Virgil's pov

I feel Thomas rising me up and I reluctantly go I was just listening to panic at the Disco.

       "What do you need Thomas?" I rise up next two the stairs which is weird cuz that means someone's in my normal spot. I open my eyes and look beside me and see.. OJ?

       "Uhhhhh.. hey??" I confusingly say.

        "Hey little guy!" OJ says petting my head, I close my eyes I'm kind of leaning to his pet before remembering I'm by the light sides and Thomas is there! I quickly lean back and stare at him.

         "Uhhh.. why are you here??" I asked him very confused, did jan decide to reveal him? did he reveal himself? what happened?

       "I don't know I just decided to show up and didn't know Thomas was there-" he shrugged.

       "O-Oh.."

        "Are you okay...?" Damnit- I was hoping he wouldn't mention anything about how hesitant I am I guess? I don't want to start crying at least not in front of Roman Patton and Logan and especially not in front of Thomas..

        "Uh.. y-yea?" I say tilting my head away in towards Logan instead of OJ, But then I feel myself being pulled into a hug.

        "Liar~"I could feel his chin resting on my head. It's kind of nice... I turn around and burying my head in his chest, all the sudden I feel like I'm about to cry, I don't hold it back I let it all out.

        "O-OJ.." I sob, I can feel Roman staring at us, I can hear Logan and Patton's confused glances, I know Thomas is very much confused, but it doesn't matter now that I have OJ.

          "I'm right here darling I'm right here..." He pats my back then he slowly starts to sit us down, I just let him I've missed him.. he's like that one wine aunt, they reek of wine, they're a bit crazy, and they just let you do what you want, they're really comforting..

          "I-Im s-s-so so-sorry auntie!" I whisper knowing full well the light sides could hear me. I don't care, I miss him.

           "Never apologize for doing what you thought was right." He hugs me tighter, I feel two sides sink up next to me, then I feel Janus and remus' arms wrap around me, I feel safe again... Without even realizing it I fell asleep.

                               JANUS'   POV

      "Um- if I may- WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!!" Roman yells.

       "SHH" Remus sharply commands Roman, "he's asleep."

      "Fine, just what happened?!" He lowered his voice.

        "Are you blind? Virgil sunk up, he started to hug me, I asked him questions, reminded him not to lie to his aunt, he told the truth he said sorry and now we're here and he's asleep. It's not that hard to figure it out." OJ says in a completely different tone than what he was using with Virgil, when he's talking to Virgil or Remus, he sees them as nephews/sons, Argo he uses a softer voice on them, with me he uses his normal voice but in a playful manner, as we see each other as brothers, but with everyone else it's a cold sharp strict tone. One that if you go against it, you'd be in trouble.

         "Of course I'm not blind but what are you to Virgil!" Roman stares him down.

          "Oh and now you're deaf?? Hmmm how sad..." OJ teased.

          "JUST TELL ME ASSHOLE!" Yep, Roman has officially lost it. I I feel Virgil move and whimper because of the sudden loud sound. It's always been one of his triggers loud sounds, but they're loud enough it'll send them into an anxiety or panic attack. But if he has control over it he's completely fine with the loud sounds, like listening to music he has complete control over what volume it's at, he just prefers it to be loud.

          "I'm taking Virgil down to his room." I say about to sink down, I turn over to Virgil but then I hear- some type of metallic object? I quickly turned around and see Roman pulling out his sword.

          "Roman- what are you doing with that?" I cautiously say.

           "You are not going anywhere unless Pat or Logan go with you, Decite."

            I look towards Logan, to either put a stop to this or come with me.

           "Roman I highly doubt Janus' main goal would be to harm Virgil. If you cannot see I shall inform you about what's happening Virgil is very clearly leaning up against the dark sides, why would he do that if he felt like they had a malicious intent?" Logan supplies.

           "I don't care. I'm not letting Virgil go with that snake!" Another whimper comes from Virgil, this time not from loud noise but from sensing anxiety in another side.

           Every dark side can sence if their trait is being used, Virgil can detect anxiousness, Remus can detect intrusive thoughts, OJ can detect spikes of jealousy and anger, and I can detect when people are lying. If someone is having too much of said thought, then we would experience discomfort. For me it's my eye hurts, for Remus and Virgil, they get a headache, and for OJ his left hand will sting.

        "Roman, calm down. I have no plans to hurt Virgil, if you cannot see he is sencing the anxiety we all are giving off, however this is a bit much for him, he currently has a headache and he would be much better if we went to his room. So I am now going to calmly go to Virgil's room. If you need me or Remus we will be in there.." I slowly say, making sure I don't trigger Roman to slice my head off.

       "Fine." He puts a sword up and crosses his arms, and we sink down. Finally..

                             -TIME SKIP-

          *ONE HOUR LATER VIRGILS POV*

    I wake up in my room, Janus' cape is draped across my shoulders, and I'm cuddling Remus' octopus stuffed animal.

         I sit up, and feel like someone has high anxious thoughts coming from downstairs, I usually don't listen to their anxious thoughts because I would never want the others to know what I think when I'm anxious, but- this is OJ.. he's almost never anxious. So I try to read them..

          "They're going to take virgil away from us... they're going to forbid him from seeing us? Why?! I can't believe this is happening no this is not happening there's no way! I just saw him you can't take him away.."

  I quickly hop out of bed and pull over Janus'cape. I grab Remus'octopus and hold it and I head towards the door. I open it and immediately hear Roman screaming and even higher anxiety inducing thoughts, immediately it gives me a headache. I accidentally drop the octopus. And at the bottom of the stairs Remus looks up at me. I see him look at Janus and back at me then look at Roman, then he quietly makes an exit up to my room.

           "Hey storm cloud why are you awake?" He pets my head.

           "I don't know, I'm not tired.." I mumble, "Loud." Usually when so many anxious thoughts start storming up they go into my head and I don't know what to do with them, so I don't have much time to figure out words but because they aren't my anxiety thoughts I'm not going into an anxiety attack.

             "Do you want to come downstairs with me?" He asks. I nod my head knowing that it wouldn't hurt as much if Roman stopped yelling. I took my plushie and looked at Remus with puppy eyes. He chuckles.

             "Do you want me to carry you?" He asks, I weakly nod my head, it hurt. I feel my self being picked up by Remus, I lean on him and close my eyes as he starts to walk downstairs.

                            -REMUS' POV-

       "Hey Roman do you think you could stop yelling?" I ask him while still walking down stairs keeping my balance, holding Virgil and walking is hard-

      "Why?" He asks without seeing the half-asleep virgil on my waist leaning on me.

         "Because veevee is taking everyone's anxious thoughts into his head, so now he has a massive headache, yelling only makes it worse. If you feel the need to yell we can have this conversation another time."

         "Fine." He reluctantly says "but this isn't over."

          "Didn't claim it was."

[unwelcome-ozian]

Im sorry if this is insensitive, but what can i do as someone who isnt a survivor to help, in general? How do you enjoy things when you, quite literally, know government secrets and what their true plans for the world are?

It’s not insensitive at all. No worries.

Supporting someone who has survived programming can be difficult.

The most important thing is safety.  They need to know they are safe and the alters need to know they are safe.  For safety to be achieved trust needs to be built with each alter.  This means respecting the alters boundaries even if you disagree with them. (Unless they are a safety issue) If the alter doesn’t want to tell you their name that’s alright. If they don’t want to talk to you, that’s alright. Don’t pester them about the reason they don’t want to talk. Learn their names, if they have a name you don’t like or you find offensive don’t say anything. They may interpret this to mean you find them offensive. (Programming trick)

Trust is vitally important to establish and maintain. People make mistakes and tell them you will make them. When it comes to trust work very hard to maintain their trust. Be upfront with them and tell them there are somethings you won’t keep secret. They may find this scary but they’ll understand you’re being honest.

A lot of systems and survivors are very private. Respect their privacy. It won’t matter to them if your intentions are well meaning if you talk about them to other people they may see it as a violation of their trust. Ask them first if you can talk with someone about what is going on so you have support as well. Don’t broadcast their issues/concerns.

Survivors of trauma are extremely vigilant of their surroundings and changes can trigger them. If there is going to be a change try and let them know and ask them to tell others.

As well as being very vigilant of their surroundings they are very aware of how you are behaving. People pay attention to body language, facial expression and tone of voice before they listen to what you are saying. Be aware of how you are presenting yourself. Are you saying, “I’m not angry.” as you have fists made, talking through clenched teeth, and furrowed eyebrows? Just one of this things will lead them to not believe you. Hard task, I know. Keep in mind their survival depended on them being able to read these cues.

Make sure there is a safe space/place for people to go when they feel overwhelmed. Set up expectations when you will enter the safe place. (safety) Let them decide what they would like in the space. (Within reason) Stuffed animals, coloring books, art supplies, etc.  Set up rules for the safe area, i.e don’t use other people’s things unless they have permission.

Encourage the system to communicate with one another. It can put you in a tough position if you are the go between and you don’t want to be drawn into internal conflicts.

Self harm can occur. Depending on the programming there can be numerous reasons for self harm. Remember self harm isn’t a suicide attempt. If you need to contact emergency services for assistance do it. Safety trumps their anger.

Respect their boundaries. If they tell you something is a trigger, they don’t want you in a certain space, they don’t want to do something, any appropriate boundary is acceptable. If you don’t understand, and you know the person well you can ask for understanding not to challenge their boundary. If you still don’t understand accept their boundary.

Healing takes years it causes harm when someone who has survived trauma is told they aren’t working hard enough, being told how they should heal, what they shouldn’t do and any form of pressure. The journey is their’s they need to navigate it at their pace.

Lastly as a support person you have to take care of yourself. This means making time for yourself and setting boundaries so you don’t become resentful, hostile or burnt out. You’re there to support them be and be their friend not their whipping post and enabler.  Be sure to do this as you must be healthy to support the person as they walk the long path of recovery and healing.

Don’t make their recovery about you. It isn’t about you. Statements like, “This is my purpose in life,” means it’s about you. You can’t ‘save’ them.  You can’t make your life about them and their recovery. Respect their therapy/therapist. They aren’t your therapist. You aren’t the survivors therapist.

Don’t spend all the time focusing on their past and how they should be talking about it and 'working through it.’ There is a time and a place for that maybe that person isn’t you. That doesn’t mean your not a person who has a life changing roll in their life.

People remember the positive things, the laughter, and how they feel when they are with someone. Healing takes laughter as well as tears. It’s alright to spend time doing 'fun’ things. Sometimes it’s more important.

The second part of your question; I can’t change the world, that would be like spitting in the ocean and hoping the sea level would rise. I simply do what I can, where I can, how I can and hope that helps people. The fate of the world is out of my hands. The fate of my life is in my hands. There are many things in life that I enjoy. I know good people who make me laugh, feel accepted, and we work towards good things in this world.

Oz