#i know you said that trigger was one of your faves and you didn't care what scenes i giffed so...

[rexferguson]

Big, big love to you, @myupsteadheart ! I hope you're soaking up the sun and beautiful views on your vacation and that the year ahead is so very magical. Happy Birthday!

[yennas-stuff]

“Some of E/riels talk about Elain and her choice and consent to shipping as if she were a real person. But in the same breath, they will spew hateful things about Gwyn. It is hypocritical and sometimes even evil because the things they say about Gwyn ACTUALLY affect some people like eg. SA survivors. These are real people and should be treated and talked about with respect e/riels grant only to a fictional character...”

THIS! Exactly! They talk about choice, but only care if Elain’s choice is Azriel. Most E/riel’s seem to not think about or care of their words and the potential harm it has towards survivors of assault (like myself). It deeply disturbs me when I see people say that Gwyn can’t be with Azriel because he’s a freak, that she’s damaged goods, she’s a whore/slut/cum-bucket (and that’s not even all of the disgusting stuff that has been said). It’s revolting and ignorant.

Gwyn asked Nesta if the sex with Cassian was good and has been reading romance novels that contain smut. She does want to leave the library, but is nervous and scared which is understandable. Being assaulted is deeply traumatizing and makes you look at things differently (or at least with me it does). One thing that I think some people overlook is when Gwyn (and Emerie & Nesta) was kidnapped and forced into the Blood Rite. She was abducted in the middle of the night by men and it’s very possible that triggered her.

I’m the anon that sent in the various asks:

“What is it with E/riel's and them trying to villainize Gwyn and other Priestesses?”

“Didn't SJM say in an interview that originally Nesta & Elain weren't going to be that important in the series but eventually changed her mind?”

“I saw an e/riel talk about how what Rhys said to Azriel in the bonus chapter was character assassination because Rhys would never talk to him like that.”

I guess from now on, if it’s not taken, I’ll go by 🍒 anon!

And genuine question, are you supposed to capitalize ship names? I keep going back and forth between “Gwynriel/gwynriel” and “E/riel/e/riel” and same with books: ACOSF/acosf. This is probably a stupid question.😂

Hi, 🍒 anon!

If you wish to be called it, so be it! Thank you for the previous asks.

Thank you for sharing, and I'm very sorry it happened to you. I hope you are doing well.

I think it's ridiculous that they think only about smut when considering Azriel's potential partner. Personally, I'm still not sure, but I would put myself somewhere on the asexual spectrum (demisexual, most likely). So, for me sex is not as important as baring yourself emotionally in front of someone. Sure sex is important for most people, but it's not everything. Its about finding solace in the other person and them being your safe haven. That's what I wish for my fave characters. And that's what I think Azriel has been missing in his life.

I think being sexually intimate comes easy for him (the whole freak reputation). It's the emotional vulnerability that's something he's been missing. I actually have my own headcanon that Az is freaky and dominant with random people he doesn't care about, but he reads pretty submissive to me when he actually likes someone (he was so blushy and subby with Mor, cmon now). He's no dom. I'm sorry to break it to anyone, but I'm sure he will let his partner lead the way anytime they want.

When it comes to the SA victims not being able to have freaky sex... So many people experience it and still enjoy sex. Also, having a set of rules like in BDSM helps, so I heard. I will not even address the vile things and ugly words some people use. It's below us to even give it any attention. But to me, it sounds so misogynistic when they say these things about Gwyn being not ready, while having no problem with Rhys being sexually active quite fast after leaving UTM.

Also, another thing that someone wrote (I'm sorry, I don't know who. I can't give credit), I truly believe Azriel's scarred hands will be actually a thing that makes Gwyn comfortable with not seeing him during sex (like in some positions or with a blindfold if sjm wants to go to town lmao). She will easily recognize his touch. She will always know it's him touching her.

I personally worry more about Azriel being ready for emotional intimacy than about Gwyn being ready for sex. She has all the time in the world to heal, and nobody will rush her. He needs to grow a bit and pursue a real friendship with a single female (who's not mated). He needs to heal his savior complex and self-esteem issues. I think these things take even more time considering he's been alive for so long and still struggles with it...

OH, and about the capitalization. Like Brangelina, Toe (Joe and Taylor, haha), or any other ship names, I think we treat it like normal names? Hence, capitalization. But when talking about E/riels, isn't it like fandom names? Swifties and Gaga's Little Monsters... Jesus stans, aka Christians, are capitalized, tho. Hahah, I think all is allowed on Tumblr.

[shi-daisy]

Wanna see the world burn so 🔥 Tamsand for the ship ask!

Lmao anon you want my beasties to be appalled? Cuz it'd be the odd one out but ok!

Send me a 🔥 and a ship and I'll tell you what I think of them

Short answer? NOTP, I hate it, squick, I have the tagged blocked

Longer answer. While the Canon dynamic with Tamlin and Rhysand's past is interesting and you can make tragic fics with the both as friends or as past lovers, and I do think Rhysand is a little too obsessed with bothering Tammy baby I hate the idea of these two as a couple unless it's a bad end.

There's a few reasons. The simple one is that I hate Rhysand enough to stick him in The Rack from Saw 3 (Don't look that shit up if you're grossed out by heavy gore) with absolutely no remorse and the idea of paring this overhyped asshat bat with my favorite character makes me gag (Same could be said for other Rhysand ships like Feysand, Rhysta, Rhycien, etc)

Another one would be that I hate giving this dude attention. Any acotar merch is made for him and his bat boys. There's literally no Feyre merchandise in Hot Topic all of it it's him, even tho she's supposed to be the MC. I'm so so very sick of him hoggin page time and arcs from the other of infinitely more interesting characters. So when I look for fic if Tamsand or Rhysand are prominent I tend to scroll past even if it's an author I like.

Finally and the heaviest reason for my deep-seated hate of this ship it's one specific scene in ACOFAS. You know the one.

The scene in the novella where Rhysand goes to Spring sees the desolate state of the Court, of Tamlin, of the man who saved him despite their hate for eachother and just goes of on him and tells him to die. It's absolutely disgusting and triggering that I had to throw the thing away and go puke.

After that I can't ship those two in any way shape or form, even if it's an AU where their faling out never happened I just can't get past that scene. Having been in Tamlin's suicidal state once years ago it would disgust me if anyone suggested I get with a person who pushed me down during that time which thankfully for me that didn't happen, but if it had I would've cut ties with them. I can't get over it and just decided to block it out

There are plenty of multishipper creators and even friends of mine who've dabbled in it but I stay the hell away from that ship even if whatever they're in is expertly made. I can't get past the dynamic they have in canon, and my Rhysand hate and the suicide bait scene. If I want Tamlin x another male character I can get that with Tamcien, Tamris, Tamquin and even Tamlin x KoH. Rhysand is the last character I would ever want more content for.

Also call me vanilla but the whole 'bffs/ exes who are torn apart by war' isn't a trope I like much. It's good for certain pairs but not a thing I go for. Hell if I don't care for it with Optimus Prime x Megatron where I love both characters and their falling out is far more balanced, tragic and believable why would I care for it between my fave and the dude I hate and it only being tacked on for Sarah to woobify the shitlord and throw more dirt on Tamlin? It really isn't my cup of tea.

Hope this answers your question, anon!

[owls-den]

Hii. What is your opinion on the pokemon XY anime gang?

Hi! Thanks for the ask!

Oh man, I have a lot of thoughts regarding XY! Let's see...

Ash: I like the way he was portrayed this season honestly. He was very likeable and went through a lot of key character moments especially thanks to his Greninja. I had multiple moments where I just told my friend "man he's such a cool guy". Very good portrayal of his character :))

Serena: I'm a bit mixed with Serena. I like her but also feel like she didn't have as much character as any of the female protags before her. I liked her character arc but it felt a bit rushed weirdly enough? There was also a lot of fanservice around her which felt a bit weird (and the romance with Ash was... Well, no shade to Amourshippers at all but I did not see the chemistry. It felt like they didn't want to commit with it. If anything she had more chemistry with Aria imo) and in the finale everyone had a role except her (Bonnie was calming Zygarde, Clemont was taking care of the Lumiose tower, Ash was battling Lysandre but... Serena was just... There.) All in all I like her but she feels a bit like wasted potential? Of course that is merely my opinion on the matter. I think she improved dramatically in her small appearances in Journeys <3

Clemont: I love this little guy! He has such a nice bromance with Ash! His catchphrase and the ensuing running gag somehow always gets me. I just like that they committed with the character. He's very distinguishable from Cilan and Brock which is a plus in my book and gosh, his role in the finale broke me. I cried twice and the Citroid "death" was one of them. Clemont makes me happy :))

Bonnie: I honestly really like Bonnie! She was well written in my book and she had a lot of moments where my cynical ass had to sit down and say "... Yeah, that's cute actually". She fills me with uncontrollable cute aggression (that feeling when something is so adorable you just have to squish like bug) especially with the way she was with Zygarde. Remember how I said I cried twice during the finale?... Her singing to a rampaging Zygarde was the second time.

Some minor characters below!

Professor Sycamore: I love that he appeared often although his plot relevance is more in relation to Alain than it is to Lysandre in this. I'm a bit sad that he doesn't actually know Lysandre before the events of the Mega Evolution Special because MAN it would have been fascinating to see him torn up between the man he loves as a dear lover friend and his son assistant! Loved his dynamic with Alain <3

Tierno: HE GOT SUCH A GLOW UP??? Like I didn't care much for Tierno in the game but NOW HE'S IN MY TOP TEN FAVE POKEMON CHARACTERS???

Shauna: Wish she had appeared more because I really liked her <3

Trevor: Such a tiny guy! I think a tiny bit of his bite was lost in the anime adaptation but I still really love his friendship with Tierno. Boy best friends!

Sawyer: I love how it introduces the concept that EXP might exist or is a pseudo science in this world?? He's a tiny guy who packs a punch and that's great for him :)) very likeable.

Miette: I want to like her and I do but this whole "love rival" was introduced and then severely underutilized 😔

Alain: Is it a secret that I love Alain? I was making fun of him a lot during my first watch, calling him a bit of an edgelord but, hey, that's how I show my love. After multiple months of intense roleplaying with my friend I ended up... Really REALLY loving him??? And now whenever I rewatch his breakdown I feel terrible inside 😢

Mairin: You know how Bonnie fills me with cute aggression? Mairin is even better at triggering it. I love her with every fibre of my being <3 Her dynamic with Alain is everything to me. (He just wants to see her smile again 🥺🥺🥺🥺)

Lysandre: Might as well talk about him! I did like his portrayal (even if the line of "protecting the professor at all cost" at the start sounds super parasocial considering they never formally met?????) and he has some crazy good moments for only being introduced in XYZ and the Mega Evolution Special. He's grand ! I still can't believe the scene where he flungs himself off of the tower exists but it made me gasp very loudly!

SORRY FOR THIS LONG POST I didn't know if you met just the main four or more soooo here are my thoughts on most of the main cast?? Anyways haha hope you enjoyed that? Overall I really liked the entire XY series especially XYZ. It started a bit slow for me but had a lot of cool moments I'll remember for a while.

[earlgreytea68]

I’ve listened to this podcast and hosts we’re talking about harry styles album and one of them said, that she likes it very much and never listens to it, when she’s anxious or in some kind of otherwise bad mood. And her friend were like, yeah totally, so every time you hear this album, it will associate in your mind with something good, positive, pleasurable. And I’m really get them! There are certain songs, that I will only listen to in a very nice, beautiful even, environment. Like, I wanna hear a song, and be able to instantly teleport to this “happy place” I associate with it. I’ve done this with SMFSD since it’s been out. And let me tell you, now, when I’m dancing in my kitchen I relive those beautiful moments, when I listened to the album by the sea, or riding through forest trails on my bike))) do you practice this kind of thing for any of your fave artists?

Awwwww I love this idea! I don't think I do it so consciously, especially not with music. I'm not one of those people who listens to a lot of music while depressed (I know some people are; that's not just me), but I definitely get how listening to a lot of music in a particular circumstance will always work to trigger that for you. I used to put on my All Fall Out Boy playlist for my last day of the long, multi-day drives I used to have to make several times a year, and it was always a nice way to feel like I was close to being done. But I have to admit I listen to Fall Out Boy so much and in so many certain circumstances that I don't have a certain connection necessarily. But the first time I listened to "Love from the Other Side," when the single dropped, I was walking the dog and I remember exactly where we were on the college campus we walk on, so that will always be a nice memory of that, I suppose <3 (The rest of the album I listened to for the first time sitting up in bed and I'll probably always remember that, too.)

The one thing I can really remember with a song getting tainted with a bad experience the day my grandfather died I remember the radio being on in the kitchen and it was playing Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles." I was never crazy in love with that song, so it's not like it ruined that song for me, but I will always remember that. Also, when my great-grandmother died, it was back when you had to listen to music on portable CD players if you were traveling, and I flew home kind of last-minute to see her on her deathbed, and I forgot to pack any CDs, so the only one I had with me was Fiona Apple's "Extraordinary Machine," and I just listened to it on endless repeat on the plane while I cried. But that's actually a good album for that kind of experience, I think lolololol (and I still absolutely adore that album).

When I was still working at a law firm and very depressed, I tried to be really careful about what I watched. Like, I didn't want to watch "Doctor Who" when I was in my worst moods because I didn't want to taint "Doctor Who." That was when I started watching a ton of HGTV, because it all so low-stakes and I didn't have to do any thinking about it. I really thought this would ruin HGTV for me but I still watch a ton of HGTV and I always just find it very soothing tbh. Which makes me very happy.

[waitingforeddyneddy]

i honest didn't want people to come for you with the first anon i sent that's why i said that you didn't have to post it. im a huge fan of kathony too and i simply don't believe the actors playing them are bffs and when i say that i don't mean it as something negative about either of them, i just thought it didn't make sense that some fans applied different logic to what's pr or not according to what they want to believe. again, it's nothing about the friends these actors, who we don't know, decide to befriend

Honestly I knew I would get a lot of shit and I just saw people who blocked me on twitter are having a meltdown over me filling the Jonathan Bailey tag with my homophobic filth! I don't care tho, I'm happy I replied to you even tho people are accusing me of sending these asks to myself. I'm actually honored about this because I've never received any asks this is the first time and fandom that made me have them even tho I'm getting a lot of hate lmao. I've always been a small blog so I'm kinda flattered lmao. All things apart I got what you said, people need to honestly die mad and since we all wanna be immature about it imma say it again...THEY'RE NOT BESTIES. THE BESTIES THING WAS PR DURING Bridgerton promo. There I said it. They're good coworkers and that's all that matters. JB fans please refrain from crying screaming throwing up about this. It's MY opinion and you can die mad about it.

I would also like to salute my number one fan on twitter the lovely Elfie loves Fiyero blond's streaks@dilfthonyspinky. Girl I know you're reading this...take care and don't get too triggered It's not good for your health. Enjoy your fave being in his bestie era with Ariana Grande and try not think too much about me, ok? Muah.

[ayearlaterletters]

15jul2024 - 17jul2024

Hi Michael, 3 days have passed and I'm writing this on 17jul. Let's just recap the days since we've been together.

15july2024 Monday: you started your new job and I worked in the morning. after work you went home to do some errands then you dropped off flowers and chocolates. short visit but you had to go home and take care of some things. lowkey sad I only saw you for like 5 minutes but better to see you regardless of time. wish I could've seen you longer but I'm happy you're alive. I was feeling a bit down so I decided to take a drive to La Jolla Shores. I haven't been to the beach since last month before my trip to Waikiki. It was cloudy at the beach but sunny where I reside. the weather was chilly but that didn't stop people from having fun on the beach. I decided to read a couple chapters from my book, and then I started to feel hungry so I went to my fave pizza shop around the corner. i get my usual 2 slices and 16oz beer for $15. they didn't have my typical pizza slices so I got the ricotta and spinach slice and a veggie slice because that's all they had left. i think during this time you were taking a shower, cooking dinner - you said you made a stir fry, and by the time I got home you were watching tv. i don't remember the show name it was long but I called you to say goodnight and the day ended. i thought about calling you but I didnt want to bother you since u were watching your tv show. we both understand that sometimes we need alone time. i wish u called me because u told me u were having a panic attack. you said it was no big deal but panic attacks are something serious. I'm just glad u are okay. even if we don't talk i think about you. i miss u always.

16july2024 Tuesday: you went to work and it was officially my first day off in a very long time. after work you went to target then picked me up. we talked in the car and i admit i was feeling homesick and i needed a hug. you told me what triggered ur panic attack. Memorable: I told you to not be sorry for waking me up or being a bother. you are not a burden and I always welcome you in my energy, space, and aura. then you wanted to tear up because you said no one has told you that before or made u feel that way. as a child we are to be seen and not heard. once again we had another connection that made us feel closer and loved.

we finally made it to the fancy hotel for our rooftop cinema date which planned a week prior but didn't book it until like days before. it was your first time watching the notebook and I haven't seen the notebook as an adult so it was like my first time too. i cried and you teared up. def not expecting a death scene but its the cutest and sweetest. if ever we are old together and I need to rejog your memory I would read you our love story daily. we also dranked some fancy cocktails. i had a blue hawaiian my favorite and u had a berry sangria. we were both feeling it. i also beat you in connect 4 and we each both got connect 5 lol. we made out in the parking lot because we went back to get the tissues. we took every escalator to the cinema lol.and the view with the best person equals a beautiful lovely night. we went to armandos got some food, drove back to coronado centienal park and ate along the edge to see the nice view of downtown, then we snuck off to make some love in a random dark street with like one lamp glowing. we didn't finish until like an hour and 30 mins later it was for sure almost 2am and we started at like midnight. i knocked out and snored on the phone with u and u drove home, took a shower, slept with me on the phone, I woke u up to let you know your alarm was ringing, u fell back asleep, then got ready for work. by the time I woke up around 9am u hung up I figured since u were at work. the day with u is amazing. ur amazing. and I cant wait for our staycation because I get to be with my handsome man. the one I'm so deeply attracted to...intellectually, emotionally, physically, and deeply spiritually!

17july2024: i slept all day i woke up then fell back asleep i didnt officially get up outta bed until like 4pm then I decide to clean my room and reorganize my room. finally lol because its been something I want to do but I don't. u went to work then after work you went home, showered, talk to your granddad, made chicken rice and brocolli, then called me. we are currently on the phone. currently our time call will hit 4 hours! yeah you've been asleep since the sun's been up. but we didn't get home until late last night like almost 2am. i like sleeping on the phone with you. i wish we could sleep together. i am very excited for our staycation :)

[ghostietea]

Furuba autistic headcanons

With it being April, or autism acceptance month, I wanted to finally drop my list of characters from Fruits Basket that I read as autistic! This is based a lot on my own experience, as well as that of other autistics I know or have seen talk online. I hope some people can get something out of it, feel free to tell me what you think 😊, though please refrain from getting upset that I would dare suggest your fave is autistic.

Hanajima

Before becoming able to better control her powers, she would be constantly overwhelmed by the things she heard to the point that she couldn't even really go out in public. This reads a lot like sensory overload.

Constantly picked on in school because other kids thought she was weird. Eventually reclaimed this weirdness and turned it into a whole persona.

Seems to talk usually in a relatively flat tone.

Had trouble socializing with no friends outside her family until middleschool.

Has a very funny, dry sense of humor that I find very similar to a bunch of autistics I know, including myself.

Hatsuharu

Listen. You have seen the funky little man, you have seen the way he talks, the way he acts around others. He is, and I mean this in the best way, a weirdo. I do not know how you could look at him and see a neurotypical.

Once again, like Hana, Haru is funny in a way that feels very autistic.

Very flat, dry, tone delivery. Sometimes just Says Things that make everyone else go huh??? Suuuuper blunt. Doesn't emote facially a lot of the time.

When this man sees a social norm he doesn't get he WILL NOT follow it. Pierces his ears just because his hair got flak, defends Momiji wearing whatever he wants because sometimes y'know the social rules are just dumb and don't make sense. Especially dress codes.

Sometimes says things not befitting the current tone of the situation.

Represses (masks) a lot of his emotions, leading to outbursts that seem uncharacteristic.

His main childhood trauma revolves around adults branding him as "dumb" and ridiculing him. Haru, however, is super smart and wise!! Just in an offbeat way that not everyone may get.

Machi

Reads as very "flat" emotionally to the point that others would call her boring. Also has a flat vocal delivery.

Relies on specific habits or ways of doing things or else she gets super upset (her hatred of imperfection.

Has trauma surrounding adults completely misconstruing her intentions and thinking she's doing something malicious when she's not.

Generally behaves in a way that's hard for others to understand, one of her formative moments with Yuki was him saying he wanted to "see how the world looks" through her eyes.

Once again, trouble socializing.

Tries super hard to please her parents but in the end they still see her as somehow inherently "defective."

Listen. A lot of this one and the last two are mostly vibes, hard to verbally define. You just have to look at them and trust me.

Tohru

Displays behavior very reminiscent of masking throughout the story, a huge part of her arc is about how she hides a lot of herself and has a very controlled persona. I think it would fit very well if she had other autistic behaviors that she suppresed also it helps explain why she is relatively socially adept, it's learned behavior to make people like her more.

Yes she is very good at saying what others need to hear, but especially early on she is pretty blatantly imitating her mother's words. She only gets better at getting through on a more personal level later on (see her with Rin and Akito v. early series Tohru). She does this by relating her own experiences, a very autistic way of showing empathy that often gets us written off as self centered. The way she relays things her mom said could also be seen as this, and she even worries at a few points that she's being insensitive for going on about things like that.

While emotionally repressed she is hyper empathetic and feels other's emotions so strongly she cries.

Her speech patterns are all imitated from her father and she often copies verbal things from others (see Ritchan-san). Noted in canon that people think her way of speaking is slightly off/not befitting of someone her age. Additionally, her father was polite more sarcastically, while she plays it straight and sometimes takes things very literally or fails to get the message, indicating trouble with reading tone. Has numerous strange verbal tics, including saying parts of her internal monologue out loud without context.

Very expressive with her hands including waving them around and flapping them up and down.

Does have a bit of trouble with accidental insensitivity in social interactions, like how she constantly fixates on her mom and realizes that might bug the Sohma.

Has trouble paying attention in school since it doesn't have much to do with her interests

Her only friend until she was a middle schooler was her mom

Has a pretty unique outlook on things compared to others, people seem to think she's pretty eccentric. There's always a "this girl is nice but in an odd way, she's our weirdo and we love her" vibe.

Sometimes has an "inappropriate" emotional response to situations

Has a lot of trouble with change, similar to Akito. Which oh, look at the time, next hc coming up.

But first, a disclaimer. It is cathartic for me to read Akito this way, but with that reading comes the baggage that she would, mayhaps, be showing a more negative side of things... It doesn't bother me since it's a joint hc with other characters and she does develop at the end but yeah, general villain hc baggage. This is in no way me trying to excuse her being The Worst being autistic doesn't absolve you of being able to do wrong . Also, a lot of these points can and do have other explanations related to her upbringing, but things can be for more than 1 reason. With that said, she really strongly comes off as autistic to me, in a way that's sorta hard to explain. I wrote a lot more for her than the other, both because I felt I needed more to convince people and that this headcanon was more sensitive and I needed to be careful in my explanation. Also hey! She's my special interest within a special interest.

Akito

Shown to have a dislike of summer weather due to heat and brightness, could be due to sensory issues in tandem with sickness things. Also covers her ears when people raise their voice sometimes which is partially her trying to shut down opposition but also 🤔 can read a different way. She'd also avoids louder Juuni like Ritsu and Ayame because she can't handle them.

Wears pretty much the same outfit every single day. Said outfit is also pretty loose fitting.

Always seen sitting in a pretty unconventional way. Evidence:

Of course this is also the isolated in a cult thing and there is a level of her purposefully doing things to intimidate but: doesn't follow a lot of social rules (overly touchy with strangers, legit doesn't get that what she's doing is wrong, ect.). Repeatedly confused when people indicate she should act otherwise without explanation. Has a breakdown when this comes to a head and approximately says that "they" shouldn't expect her to know "common sense" if "they" never explained it to her, that the way that she was was her "common sense."

Often talks in a way uncharacteristic of her age when shown as a child in a more faux mature/pretentious way. Might just be the translation and idk how to explain it but her speech as an adult also seems off from what one would normally use in conversation. Additionally, when she tries to fake being friendly in her intro chapter, it comes of as extremely stiff and unconvincing.

Generally displays behavior that could be thought of as childish as an adult, but a lot of this behavior could also read as autistic (covering ears, emotional deregulation and meltdowns, ignorance of basic social norms, ect.). It's also important to note that she knows that this behavior makes her seem younger and more helpless to the older zodiac and uses it as a manipulation tactic. Has issues regarding people treating her like a child or only hanging out with her because of pity. While she does weaponize it, we can tell that this grates on her, as seen with her finally blowing up on Kureno, which is partially triggered by the maids saying some sorta infantalizing stuff about her. Irl, a lot of autistic adults and teens struggle with being infantalized for our behavior generally or treated as little babies that can do no wrong. Even in fandom, you see people doing stuff like jumping to call autistic adult characters, such as Entrapta from Shera, "minor coded." It is also common for us to have at least one bad experience with someone hanging around us out of pity. This is something that really gave me a similar feeling in Akito's arc. She's not a baby and she can understand and do better if she is given the chance to learn and break from all the freaky cult indoctrination she's been subjected to instead of just being constantly enabled. In the end, a lot of her growth is represented by her showing that she is capable of changing and being independent.

Shows particular difficulty with socialization, often sits by herself spacing out at social events. A lot of her fear is rooted in the fact that she doesn't know how normal relationships work, becoming overly reliant on the curse because she doesn't know how to make friends.

Clings desperately onto the notion of being "special" and in some way superior to others to be worthy and to make up for perceived inherent "flaws." It's the nd gifted kid burnout vibes for me.

Easily bothered by things that don't bother others. Feels emotions very strongly to the point of getting physically ill and has bad emotional regulation.

Relatively good at reading others in an analytical sense (though has more trouble when it comes to seeing how they feel about her since she's wildly delusional) but brings up her observations in a very cold, detached way and hurts people even on the rare occasion she didn't mean to. Has extreme trouble connecting to others and understanding their point of view. This makes her come off as pretty unempathetic even though that might not fully be the case. Also thinks that people like Momiji are trying to look down on her when they try to empathize with her. A lot of why Tohru can get through to her is that she manages to convince Akito that she's not condescending by relating shared traits and experiences. As I said earlier, autistics often empathize by sharing their own experiences with someone, and I know I often have an easier time confiding in other autistics because of a fear of being seen as lesser by those that don't understand me. I think the connection between these charachters and the way that Tohru manages to reach Akito like that while others couldn't makes a lot of sense through an autistic lense!

Additionally, when Akito herself gets around to trying to help others instead of just projecting trauma, she tries to reach out to the old maid by relating back to her own experiences. This however, doesn't work.

Has "cold" emotional reactions sometimes even to things that do make her upset. For example, how sort of calm and detached she acted after her father's death can make her seem uncaring. However, we know that this event did mess her up a lot and she is still (poorly) dealing with a lot of grief from the death of her father years later.

Copies mannerisms from others, the most blatant example is with Ren, who she directly parrots lines from as a child to Yuki.

Partly just her posturing, but gestures a lot with her hands when she talks. Also seen several times clutching her hands in her hair.

Deals extremely poorly with the idea of things changing to the point that it is a driving force of the story.

Does not understand when people tease her.

Ect. Ect. Ect. Listen, I could go on for ages but just trust me, the mean gremlin lady is autistic.

[s0livagant]

for the album lyric ask game for when u wake up 🌞💞 i would LOVE to know your favorite lines from save rock and roll and american beauty/american psycho! since we both agree that those are some of the best albums of all time and i love that for us hehe 🥰🤭 (also good morning hope u have a nice day❣️)

Trish!!! hello, my love!! truly two of the greats, I love those albums with my whole heart :') also, this post is looooooog so I'm slapping the 'read more' option on there

SRAR:

The Phoenix - Bring home the boys and scrap scrap metal the tanks Get hitched, make a career out of robbing banks Because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks "You broke our spirit, " says the note we pass

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark - Be careful making wishes in the dark Can't be sure when they've hit their mark And besides in the meantime I'm just dreaming of tearing you apart OR My childhood spat back the monster that you see

Alone Together - I don't know where I'm going, But I don't think I'm coming home And I said, I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead This is the road to ruin and we're starting at the end

Where Did The Party Go -I'm here to collect your hearts, It's the only reason that I sing I don't believe a word you say, But I can't stop listening

Just One Yesterday - Oh, I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way, Still I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday

The Mighty Fall - Your crooked love is just a pyramid scheme And I'm dizzy on dreams But if you ask me two's a whole lot lonelier than one Baby, we should have left our love in the gutter where we found it

Miss Missing You - Sometimes before it gets better The darkness gets bigger The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger Oh, we're fading fast (but also "baby, you were my picket fence" makes me feel lots of emotions)

Death Valley - I'm either gone in an instant Or here 'til the bitter end

Young Volcanos - C'mon, make it easy, say I never mattered Run it up the flagpoles

Rat A Tat - Are you ready for another bad poem? One more off-key anthem, Let your teeth sink in Remember me as I was not as I am

Save Rock And Roll - Well, how'd it get to be only me? Like I'm the last damn kid still kicking that still believes

AB/AP:

Irresistible - You're second hand smoke You're second hand smoke I breath you in, but honey I don't know What you're doing to me

American Beauty/American Psycho - I think I fell in love again Maybe I just took too much cough medicine I'm the best worst thing that hasn't happened to you yet The best worst thing

Centuries - Mummified my teenage dreams No, it's nothing wrong with me The kids are all wrong The stories are off Heavy metal broke my heart

The Kids Aren't Alright (ONE OF MY FAVE SONGS OF ALL TIME AHHH) - And I still feel that rush in my veins It twists my head just a bit to think All the people in those old photographs I've seen are dead

Uma Thurman - I slept in last night's clothes and tomorrow's dreams But they're not quite what they seem

Jet Pack Blues - She's in a long black coat tonight Waiting for me in the downpour outside She's singing "Baby come home" in a melody of tears While the rhythm of the rain keeps time

Novocaine - If you knew, knew what the bluebirds sing at you, you would never sing along Cast them out 'cause this is our culture These new flocks are nothing but vultures

Fourth Of July - I'll be as honest as you let me I miss your early morning company, If you get me You are my favorite "what if" You are my best "I'll never know" OR Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean any of it I just got too lonely, lonely, whoa In between being young and being right, You were my Versailles at night

Favorite Record - Play it again and again and again And you can get what you want but it's never enough

Immortals - Sometimes the only payoff for having any faith Is when it's tested again and again every day

Twin Skeletons (Hotel In NYC) - I just need enough of you to dull the pain Just to get me through the night 'til we're twins again 'Til we're stripped down to our skeletons again 'Til we're saints just swimming in our sins again OR A birth and a death on the same day And honey I only appeared so I can fade away I wanna throw my hands in the air and scream And I could just die laughing on your spiral of shame

[seokwoosmole]

Ok about this Wooyoung fancall thing it's exactly why fancalls need to be abolished, or at least have stricter rules for what can and cannot be said/done. I've never won one nor is my luck or financial situation good enough to ever win one, but I love that they exist for other fans who are able to win them. And it's fun living vicariously through them! I love it when fans repost screen recordings of their calls in which they talk about how proud they are of the idol they're talking to or when the idols seem really comfortable and have funny convos with the fans. Because that is what these calls are for!! For the idol to get in touch with fans and have a good time talking with them even if it's only for a couple minutes. Ok really they're about forcing people to buy dozens and dozens of albums to skyrocket sales cuz it's an effective marketing tactic but that's a convo for another day. Those couple minutes should be a happy experience for both the fan and the idol. They shouldn't be used for fans to trauma dump on idols; they're not your therapist or your friend or family member – no matter how much you love them and they love you, they're still strangers and that love that exists between artist and fan is not to the extent of sharing personal trauma. If it's not something you would be comfortable sharing with a stranger or even mild acquaintance in public, don't share it with your idols. Especially on a fancall knowing that after your 2 minutes, they have to do many more of them, interacting with a bunch of fans and other people. They already have the pressure of being expected to act happy and pleasant during the entire call even if they are tired or upset and genuinely don't feel that way – don't add to that pressure by telling them about a traumatic experience even if it was to tell them that they were the ones that got you through it. Can you imagine how overwhelming it must be to hear someone you've likely never met tell you something like that, implying that their personal happiness/inner strength is dependent on your existence? My heart goes out to the atiny on the call and I hope they are doing well and can find closure and happiness. I'm not saying this to hate on them or blame them. The industry that enables and encourages this level of intimacy and closeness between fans and idols is to blame, and this type of situation is just an example of someone following the toxic standard that's been set. I'm sure many other fans also feel indebted to their idols for giving them a happy escape from scary/bad things happening in their personal life and it's natural to feel that way and natural to want to let your faves know how much they've helped you. But just saying "I went through a really difficult and dark time in my life and I want to thank you because you and your music gave me a lot of strength and helped me get through it" in more or less words is still a meaningful and effective way to get your point across without going into such detail sharing information that you don't know if a person might find triggering or upsetting. Everyone should be allowed to share and heal from their trauma and acknowledge the people that helped them overcome it. But idol fancalls are not the time/place to do so to that extent. And the fact that no explicit rules have been created to prevent these kinds of situation from happening just goes to show how the industry/entertainment companies care more about profit than people. Because if they didn't, they wouldn't have let the boundaries between idols and fans fade so much to the point where this kind of environment can be fostered.

[savageandwise]

Anon:

Hi, your remarks about angst really resonated with me - especially the part about people using one dimensional bad/abusive etc. characters as background for their fluff - I absolutely hate it when that happens and usually stop reading. I think it's fair enough to sometimes only go for a fluff tag or something that is advertised as "angst with a happy ending" as a reader if you want a fic to cheer you up, but if you do that all the time, that's not a great sign of emotional maturity in my book. The only thing I very much tend to avoid is MCD - especially in RPF, I wouldn't read or write that. In general, my RPF is relatively tame, I think. Obviously, I am in no way writing about the life of the real person, I'm just taking their public persona and inventing something, but it still has their name in it and, perhaps superstitiously, I don't want to treat them too badly, because words have power after all... I fully acknowledge that that part's a bit ridiculous :-P But back to the angst tag - I would never avoid a story just because of that, in fact, I might prefer it to "tooth-rotting fluff". Of course people have very different interpretations of the tags, "hurt&comfort" being a prime example - that could mean a little accident, or emotional hurt, or it could mean someone in the story has been tortured... It's complicated. In the beginning, I basically didn't tag at all because I didn't know what to put, and I'm still reluctant sometimes when I feel like the tag is a plot spoiler. The only compromise I've found in that case is to put a warning in the end notes and mention that there's a warning at the beginning - though that always makes me nervous as a reader (should I click it or shouldn't I?). Let me know if you have any thoughts about that and sorry for the novel-lenght post. This is what happens when I don't use the anon option :D

Savageandwise:

Thank you for this! I almost missed it at first because I never used to get submissions. I'm glad to hear post resonated with you. Again, I don't really care if people want to enjoy fluff but I used to get requests for more fluffy fics when I wrote mclennon and I wasn't interested in writing them. I'm even more against hurt/comfort actually because lots of people seem to be getting off on their fave being abused. Like you said there are different levels of this. And I don't mind if it's a minor theme. I particularly hate if rape or torture is involved and one of the characters heals the other with their love. (My friend calls it the magic dick-healing the character with the magical appendage)

some people have explained to me the reason they enjoy the trope is if their fave is emotionally closed off they enjoy them having to be vulnerable. I can understand that. I do write my faves having to deal with strong emotions because I think every one deals with intense situations at some point (I hope- that's part of life!) But I draw the line at invented violence and major illness.

The tagging thing is very difficult. I agree it's hard to decide when it fits particularly if it would spoil the fic. A friend of mine didn't tag her suicide fic and it caused a huge drama. I think your notes suggestion is a good one.

I tend to just spoil I guess. Better safe than sorry. Though I don't always think every tag is necessary depending on the fandom. I feel "drugs" "violence" shouldn't really come as a surprise when writing in the Oasis fandom. If something was particularly violent I might tag it I guess. Its difficult to take everyone's preferences into account. (To know what everyone might consider triggering. I've seen people tag "cheating" and "cigarettes")

On the subject of spoilers, even in real novels and films I feel the human race no longer wants to be surprised- or film makers are too scared to be sued. I do feel most people want to feel they're aware of all the elements ahead of time. That's why trailers are like a mini version of the film and don't seem to leave much out. Shame. But that's how it goes.

[feysandfeels]

Sometimes I think of the trigger Lucien must have gotten when he saw Feyre die and Tamlin holding her crying. He probably made a parallel about what happened to him and Jesminda. I believe that's why he didn't help Feyre so hard in relation to Tamlin in the second book, because Tamlin got the opportunity he didn't get.

Of course there's every part of Tamlin being his High Lord and he owes him allegiance, but I believe his trauma has been addressed.

Of course, that's not an excuse, but I can't stop thinking about it.

Hiya Sugar, I know you asked me this like three weeks ago, sorry I'm just getting around to it.

So this mainly has two sides to understand first is what was happening to Lucien. Here we need to take into account his history of abuse at the hands of his family and Tamlin. The second is clearly how Feyre understood the situation from her own place of enunciation. Still I think this is one of those discussions in the fandom where you should tread lightly because I don't think either side is entirely wrong to feel what they felt and every argument has a well crafted response that is enlightening.

Lucien.

I think by this point denying that Lucien is a victim of abusive relationships that showcased their abuse not only physically but mentally and emotionally is just irresponsable and willful blindness. Lucien's family dynamic speaks of a toxic environment if I ever saw one. The Jesminda's death at the hands of his brothers and father is something that has left a scar as visible as the one across his eye. This is an experience that molds how he interacts with other people as friends, as romantic partners, and also how he understands romantic relationships that he is not involved in (Feyre and T*mlin).

From this angle, yes, UtM was extremely triggering for him because yet again he was placed in a situation where the loved one is killed and the other person "can't do much" about it (the quotation thingies are because T*mlin was being useless af here and he should have done more than just beg, Lucien's situation he was magically and physically restrained). He understands T*mlin's nightmares better than almost anyone, and as he told Feyre, T*mlin will never not hear the sound of her neck breaking. I do believe that if T*mlin had talked about this with Lucien, he might have dealt with the whole thing better.

We can't also ignore that Lucien carries a lot of guilt regarding Jesminda. He couldn't save her and seeing his friend die in a similar manner must have brought up his own traumas so its understandable that his full on attention might not have been spent towards understanding what Feyre was going through. We all are dealing with things and it's fair when you don't have the mental space to see what is happening to those around you, even when you are as observant as Lucien is. If your mind is not seeing, it doesn't matter if your golden eye sees it all. This guilt of not being there for the ones he loves (in any capacity) is also shown in WAR when he realizes better what happened to Feyre and he says something about being the villain in her story. As much of an Elucien fan that I am I do think that part of his reasoning for going to fetch the army was to make amends with Feyre. He felt guilty for not being there for her friend. (Yes he had a lot more to address on his plate, there's no doubt of that). In a way I do think he recognized that he could have done more.

On top of this we add that Lucien's relationship with T*mlin is based on a partly on the loyalty earned from saving him from his brothers. I think that it is not for nothing that in ACOSF Eris says that he's the one that sent word to T*mlin about what was happening to Lucien, which implies the existence of a friendship that predates the murder of Jesminda. This means that along with that loyalty there must be some old fashion good hearted feelings that nourish what we see as the friendship these two have. What I mean is that probably Lucien's vision of T*mlin is the friend he used to be way back when and the loyalty for offering a "home".

We don't know when exactly T*mlin started being abusive towards Lucien, but at least we can all agree that during ACOMAF he was. It wouldn't also be a stretch to think that in the pre-acotar days there might have been incidents of physical abuse, but so far we don't know for sure. There is a missing piece of information that we don't have yet because Lucien was more feisty during UtM when his life was at risk, than he was during MAF... this tells us a lot of how T*mlin was handling things with him.

There's also something to be said with how Lucien understood abuse. It's a heavy possibility that he perceived abuse like he saw it in the AC. He had a naturalized version of what abuse is, that for him w abuse looked like and felt like what he lived in the AC, so what he experienced with T*mlin pre-acotar did not seem to him as abuse (even when it was). And after Amarantha he began to understand the multiple faces of abuse and thus started to being afraid of T*mlin. Lucien could have also been dealing with the realization that a centuries old relationship had be tainted with abusive behaviors.

I do think that Lucien thought that he tried as hard as he could with the tools he had. But that does not mean that he shouldn't have done more. The problem is that Lucien didn't know he could. Like if he had fought with Tamlin for Feyre's sake where would he go then? Feyre had the option to go to the Night Court, Lucien did not. I like to believe that if he had known the truth about the NC before and had him and Feyre talked about it they would have said fuck you Tamlin, bye, black is the new spring. But he did not know. So he stayed on the comfortable zone of pushing but not jeopardizing his "home". You can hardly blame him for how he played the game when he did not know he was playing with one hand tied to his back.

I will not excuse though when he tried to grab her against her will during the woods. I understand that he was scared and desperate, but I still think that it was not right.

Feyre.

When I stand from a Feyre point of view there are two things that speak to me above all others. First she died for Tamlin and she bargained her life for his court -Lucien included- so I understand the she expected him to push and fight hard for her too. I know there's a quote about her recognizing that T*mlin had fought for her but that she had fought harder for him, and I think that can also suit her relationship with Lucien to an extend. I'm not saying that Lucien is like T*mlin, because no, not at all, not even in the least; but I do think she would have liked for her friend to fight for her well being like she fought for his during UtM.

Second it is hard to be see your friends still be friends with your abuser. Yes Feyre doesn't know all the variables that affect their relationship, the toxic loyalty that T*mlin saving Lucien created, the genuine friendship that was there before her and before Jesminda... but I understand the pain to see your friend not draw the lines for your sake.

This offers a beautiful arc for Lucien in the sense that only recently there has been a movement of "tell me if I'm friends with your abuser", and this awakening is a reality that a lot of people are facing. Is hard to untangle yourself from a person you have known for x amount of time, because you are trying to see the abusive person in the face you related to kindness or something not abusive. Again, we don't know how their relationship was pre-Feyre, perhaps Tamlin had been nothing but a sugary cupcake with Lucien and it's hard to associate that version of his friend to the version he is post Amarantha, the version that will physically abuse them; perhaps T*mlin had always been an ass but "the good outweighed those few instances of abusive behavior". What I'm trying to say is that sometimes it is hard to make a clean cut when the abuser turns out to be the person who saved you (from an even worse abuser but like you get what I mean).

I will not do him the disservice to say that he might not have connected the dots and thought that T*mlin's behavior was abusive towards Feyre. Even if he was just understanding how abuse can look like and even if he was reliving Jesminda's death I do think he could see that T*mlin's behavior was abusive towards Feyre (here I am making the distinction between reliving the trauma of having his love murdered and him recognizing abuse). Lucien is clever and intelligent. I think he did see what was happening, but that implied also a massive shift of reality for him that he was not prepared to see and did not have the tools to deal with, he was also struggling there.

Final thoughts.

I think Feyre is not wrong to feel a tad of distaste against Lucien through ACOMAF. Speaking from a personal experience it is quite sad and tough to see people who you conceived as friends not stand up to you when you are suffering at the hand of your S.O who happens to be their friend. It sucks a lot because you truly feel alone and you feel that at the end of the day they did not take care of you at the expense of taking care or helping or remaining on the good graces of your abuser.

But I think that simply condemning Lucien's actions during MAF without understanding the complicated history of abuse he has, is irresponsable. You are of course allowed to say that he is not fave and that it left a bad taste in your mouth, that's fair, but to condemn him the way I've seen this fandom do without an ounce of empathy or critical reading is just baffling (which to be quite frankly is also something I saw everybody after ACOSF with Rhysand, they condemned his actions without truly taking five second to understand the historical context of them).

Characters are allowed to make mistakes and are allowed to fall short in any given situation, because we as living creatures sometimes fall short in life. What's important to me is that Lucien is learning and when Feyre returned to the SC in WAR we could all see that he changed his approached towards the situation and was there for her. And also you will pry this off my hands but the fact that he is invited to their Solstice celebrations speaks of the state of their relationship right now, they are understanding of what the other is going through and I do think they are making amends and creating a friendship that acknowledges the mistakes they have both made towards the other one.

Yeah this was a long ramble.

Again, apologies it took me so long to answer

Long live Lucien and Feyre. I can't wait for them to grow closer.

[wri0thesley]

i wanted to say the stuff you said about dark content was eye opening for me! i enjoy dark content but stuff like abuse & noncon/dubcon are triggering for me since i'm a survivor & i assumed people who consumed that content are romanticizing my trauma (didn't help that there was a ship week on twitter where they called those prompts "spicy") & you helped me realize that's not the case! i've been following you for a long time & never had a problem with these things before so maybes its a me thing

hi anon! it’s totally valid to not like the more intense dark content and to blacklist/ignore certain specific contents within them - the tumblr blacklist and the block button both exist for a reason! i totally understand survivors who don’t like dark content and don’t want to see it, i just happen to not be one of them and find it therapeutic to be in ‘charge’ of the encounters (either by stopping writing, being able to make readers fight back, or by stopping reading) in a way i never got to be in real life! i don’t like the term ‘romanticisation’ personally because i feel like most dark content creators - who are warning readers what they’re going to get into, who are tagging properly, who are open about not condoning it - aren’t romanticising or normalising it in a way they would be if they just slipped it into a fic unwarned like it’s normal and romantic for it to be there. i don’t know exactly if that makes sense but that’s how i draw my personal line between romanticisation and normalisation!

anyway what i’m saying is that you should engage with people’s content, most importantly, on a level that is safe and comfortable and non-triggering for you! if that means you like dark content but you prefer, say, a character x reader where you both start out in love and the character just begins to get exceedingly over-protective and wants to take care of you in an all-encompassing way, that’s just as valid as the people who enjoy dark content who want to be kidnapped and forced into being the housespouse of their villainous fave! 

i’m happy that i could help you see things both ways but you should absolutely never compromise your own personal safety and mental health! i love u and if you ever need me to tag anything i’m not already doing, pls reach out and let me know! <3

[jewishbarbies]

No but he deadass tries to shoot bucky in the first minute of the fight like his hand was directly in his face but bucky was strong enough to twist his arm and the missile went away from bucky. The second time he again tries to shoot directly at bucky but Steve comes through. Even the Russos confirmed tony wanted to kill bucky so idk why Tonky stans are saying he didn't want to and if he wanted to he would have like??? Like I said he literally tried but they were stronger... Also like you said why would he start a fight like that if he had no intention to murder them. If he didn't want them dead he wouldn't have started the fight. Steve and Bucky were the ones who didn't want to kill him but they were defending themselves and trying to enable him.

HONESTLY, i don't understand where the claim comes from. Tony by himself is not powerful at all. With the suit, he's maybe a 4/10, if he plays his cards right. I'm linking the scene for the inevitable tony stans that will find this since they like scrolling the tag to find people to bash for not liking their fave, so they can follow along (scene in question) because i'm going to break it down since the russets flat out SAYING Tony wanted them dead isn't enough (and he wanted Bucky dead TO HURT STEVE WTF)

First, why does Tony even care about his parents enough to react like this? He's spent the entirety of his MCU run slandering his absent father, making it seem like he was violently abused by him, and never once mentions his relationship with his mother until this same movie (convenient for the russets but also she clearly wasn't that important if this is the first time we're hearing about it considering all the opportunities he had before.) yet he attacks both Steve and Bucky after finding out Bucky killed them. Now, here's the kicker: Tony knows Bucky was brainwashed. If he didn't know before, he at least found out during the scene prior when Zemo reactivates the Winter Soldier. Tony knows Bucky's not in control of himself when this happens (and he still went for a head shot during that situation anyway but i digress). So, knowing this, and hearing Zemo say his grand plan was to make the avengers hate each other FIVE SECONDS AGO, he still thinks it's perfectly justifiable to haul off and smack Steve so he's out of the way and then go after Bucky.

Steve tells Tony "This isn't gonna change what happened." and Tony deadass says "I don't care, he killed my mom." BITCH. NO. HYDRA KILLED YOUR MOM. THEY ABUSED BUCKY AND USED HIM AS A WEAPON, BUT HYDRA PULLED THE TRIGGER. WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID TO HATE NAZIS?? at 2:36 Bucky is literally trying to disarm Tony by going only after the reactor, which doesn't work to keep Tony alive anymore. All it does is power the suit. then Tony BLOWS BUCKY'S ARM OFF and SHOOTS HIM IN THE BACK WHEN HE'S DOWN. he even uses his fucking suit to cheat and learn Steve's fight pattern so he can one-up him, and he still loses. but Steve and Bucky are already fucked up at this point. why keep going with that kind of force if you're NOT trying to kill these men?? why start with it if that's not the end goal?? he KNEW they would defend themselves, and that's what he wanted.

he wanted to start the fight, Bucky ends up dead, and then Tony can say he was just defending himself and that Bucky would've killed him if he didn't. and if Steve dared cry foul, he would be painted as the bad guy because poor uwu baby Tony was gonna die. Bucky was crazy!! he was unhinged!! people need to defend themselves!! you're all abuse apologists!! and then we have canon, which subverts that plan and Bucky is defending himself against Tony, and suddenly it's justified. suddenly it's okay that this grown ass man, who has had more than enough access to therapy and healing and chosen NOT to use any of it, is upset his parents that he hates were killed so he has every right to attack a disabled POW veteran who's been brainwashed a million times over and used as a weapon against his will. wow that makes so much sense doesn't it?

like it's perfectly fine if he had gotten angry/sad/whatever and maybe punched a wall or shot an objects of some kind, but to outright attack and attempt to murder two people (one of which he claimed was his friend)?? absolutely not. and anyone who says this is okay legitimately needs help. i've seen every from "if tony wanted to kill them he would have" to "this is a perfectly normal and healthy response to finding out something like this" and both are ignorant and dangerous. no one has the right to kill someone simply because they're mad/sad/whatever the fuck. that's disgusting. tony stans all need therapy, and i'm not even joking or saying it to be mean. get help.

[shinahbee]

October Favorites 2020!

Hello!

i'm going to start bringing these favorites of the month from my deviantart to here on tumblr. Hopefully you will find something good out of the things that I have been liking recently, please leave in the comments anything that you have been liking this month ( books, manga, anime, tv shows...etc) I have been a little uninspired for a while, but I'm still working on a few new digital art pieces as well as continuing my painting hobby, so there's a lot of content on the way!

okay so on to the things that I've been liking this month.

So if you've seen my latest digital art " who's baby is it?" I have been delving into web toons which I have not read other than mo dao zu shi since I watched the anime and It just suddenly stopped after season 2. I thought reading the web toon would answer some of those questions  i had. It lead me to reading a bunch of webtoons all in the shounen ai category for some reason...lol. and I've been really liking some of the stories, Until this point web toons never really interested me since I've been reading manga since I was younger , so i've been used to just seeing the black and white pages of art, since web toons have coloured pages, it makes me appreciate the effort they used to colour every panel, so a lot of work went into these so i appreciate it for what it is even if the story inst great.

let me preface by saying that even though i'm delving into BL, i've been exposed to yaoi ever since I was in high school by one of my best friends, she lent me her favorite anime which was " gravitation" and all remember was wanting a man that was like yuki...lol. don't we all?

since then I have been reading some yaoi manga...only ones that are NOT predicated on sexual violence and abuse, which I know is prevalent in this category, I just don't like it and the message it sends, so i avoid that all together.

unless of course it has a particular message it wants to convey, not glorifying it. if that makes sense.

okay so here are my recommendations, i'll give a very brief summary of each of them

Manga/Manhwa:

----------------------------------------------

Who's baby is it? 

- “a man named yi yun wanted to be an actor and is part of an acting company for several years and still was not successful, apparently it was because he was born with really bad luck, so to change his life perspective he decided that he wanted to be a surrogate father and donate his sperm to a surrogate mother in order to have a child that is his blood. So he and his child were living happily together through yi yuns work periods and suddenly there is a man that claims he is the child's actual blood related father and wanted to take the child into his custody.”

please read the summary I have in my fan art, I've wrote my thoughts on this manhwa.

To be or not to be

-  “A company president diagnosed with cancer and died has been transmigrated into his favorite novel, where he was reborn as the antagonistic emperor that the main character defeats in the end, on top of which the main lead is currently the captive of said emperor, so in order to survive he will do anything to protect the protagonist and make sure he stays alive inside the novels universe.”

oh to be or not to be that is the question...lol. it really is. currently is is one of my favorites, I like how modern day people  can look at the acts of history and modify certain things so that it would less likey repeat itself for the worse, we need this sort of mentality at this moment...

Social temperature

- “Song Yuan is indifferent when dealing with people he is an elite student at T- university as a science major, one day his friend started to question his sexuality and set him up with a month trial dating app as a joke, as soon as he went to delete the app on his phone, he was suddenly matched with a boy named "Mu", who turns out to be his classmate/ rival in his science program, his named is Xaio Mu , he is an exchange student abroad and got into this elite science program, hoping to meet new friends he approached song yuan and proceed to converse with him only to be ridiculed by him saying that he wears too much perfume and it made him sick so then he became the class social outcast.But after using the app to converse with "Mu"...song yuan became curious as to what he is actually like...using the fake name and bio of " Andrew " they start to get to know each other more.”

omg , this is triggering for me, since Mu is basically me a few years ago when I was also in a medical science program minus the talking on tinder thing lol, I felt as though everyone in that program was in it for themselves and I didn't not like the how people think they are entitled to everything...that's why i'm not in it no more.lol. there are a few plot holes in the story that I don't really get but other than that I really like this story I read the chapters that are out so far like 3 times cause I'm waiting for the rest to be translated. I also actually read the Novel by the same author of the manhua called " social outcast" so if you just want to read it in text format please read that novel instead, I like the novel up to a point and then it didn't really make sense after wards..lol.

so i can't say that i recommended it completely. Also Mu's character design I really like, thus i'm going to make a fan art of him soon...omg he's so beautiful, i'm in love lol.

Salad Days  ( tang liu zang) 

- “This is the story between a young innocent ballet boy and a passionate, determined boxing boy. The two met at the children’s palace, and since then, they have grown up together supporting each other. May there be hardships, may there be obstacles, yet they never stopped pursuing their dreams. The beauty of the salad days is the sweat from the hard work and the bonding of friendship. Although they have completely different paths set up for them, what never changes is their beautiful friendship.”

wow this story so far is really beautiful, I was in ballet for 3  years so it was slightly relatable to me, I feel like the over all message is that people sacrifice a lot for their dreams and if you are very passionate about it, there's no on that can really stop you, the only one that can stop you is you. I can't wait to see this story progress further  

K-dramas:

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it okay to not be okay - this probably has been mentioned as everyone's favorite, but rightfully so, I really like ko mun young's character as a person who seems like an assertive and powerful woman, but is suffering from a social disorder. and how moon gang tae has to not only deal with mental patients at his job but also his older brother being autistic, he himself is suffering from mental illness. this drama is  something not a lot of dramas portray in dealing with mental illness and how the patients/ loved ones  are feeling when watching them go through it all. I liked the story and the message  and it made me cry in every episode, so fair warning...have tissues beside you as you watch.

itaewon class- I was not going to watch this because of the mixed reviews but I did any ways, and it was really good, a really good depiction of how money and power isn't the end all be all , and being happy  is really the best revenge you can get, it also addresses racism and prejudice on one character and sexism on a trans-gendered woman. I also think this is a story that protrays something that really hasn't been exposed to in k-dramas specifically. It depends on your morals and what you understand so far in your life wether you would like this drama or not, so i understand the mixed reviews that it gets, but for me it was a really good story.

Anime/ TV shows:

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I don't have any anime recommendations this month mainly cause I have not been watching any, but there are some that i might watch soon  so I will list those below, let mew know if any of you have seen them and should I be watching them.

- Nobelese

-yasha hime ( inuyasha  new series)

-Haikyuu  new season

-heavens official blessing ( same author of mo dao zushi) - just started watching

-scum bag saving system- just started watching

Music :

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so I have just been listening to a lot of OSTs,

I really recommend the itaewon class soundtrack, all the songs are so good!

my favorite on is " crush- No words "

also my friend has been sending me NCT  and super M practice  videos so I've been listening to their music as well, please listen to make a wish by NCT U, it has been stuck in my head and I cant get it out...lol.

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that's all for this October faves summary. please comment below if anything interested you for the month of October, I would also like to read your recommendations as well, please also take care of yourselves especially now with all that's escalating in the world.

take care!

sheena

[sweetdreamer90]

Okay some drama on Twitter

And rumors about Jackson that are not even true.

Some army's and please read I said some SOME! Army's not all SOME were making up lies about Jackson dating hwasa look at the pictures below if you have Twitter please report them.

Now understand BTS was my first group and I had fell in love with their music.

And I have friends who are army's and they're just as upset because of these army's for giving them a bad name. Not all army's are toxic.

However these people on the pics didn't give a damn if they ruin the life of two people they don't care plus

It's not just about RM but K Army's are afraid of Jin's dating will be exposed but those are all rumors from kfans. Now if some army's who are reading this don't even know that RM is Best friends with Jackson Wang before any of them had Fame, and jungkook is best friends with yugyeom from GOT7 if you didn't know that before now you know now.

I'm tired that every fandom gets triggered by the thought of their faves dating for example Jimin and Nayeon. Remember your favorite kpop idol is human.

If any mamamoo member was to date any of the members of GOT7 I would be totally fine with that I would be happy because I really like mamamoo they're amazing.

Plus ahgases are one of the few fans that actually push GOT7 into dating like IGOT7 they end up becoming fans of girls that GOT7 have interacted with, but when somebody, it doesn't matter who it is if someone comes up with some kind of shi* don't expect a nice greeting from IGOT7.

I want to thank multifandoms

Like monbebes. mydays. ELF. including army's etc and more who report these toxic accounts And others

Please let's be respectful. No K-pop idol deserves disrespect.

And again please finish reading everything. thank you