#i learned css in college but again that was years ago

[ladyswillmart]

I'm glad I wrote such a detailed and thorough bio for my LotRO character because A.) My own memory is very bad and B.) I can go back and read all this again and go "oh what a charming fellow"

[hayacode]

Day 47 - 60

The last 2 weeks were a huge jump in my coding journey.

First, I started working on my LinkedIn and trying to apply for jobs (yes I know I am still not qualified but I want to jump on that early so that by the time I am qualified, I would already know what companies suit me and what they need exactly (sad news is most of the jobs in The capital city)

Second, I took a learning machine class and honestly it was the worst experience ever. Unfortunately, the teacher wasn't good at explaining it.

Third, I am currently working on my portfolio which I will share once I am confident in it 👩🏻‍💻

Fourth, I started to learn about Bootstrap, CSS variables & how to make your website responsive.

Fifth, I went to Google Events and met a really sweet girl there and we became friends ✨

Sixth, I am taking (CS50 - Understanding the technology) course for Harved and damn the assignments are really hard. But since it is free I don't mind it.

Lastly, I am thinking of going to college again.

I already graduated from the biology department 11 years ago. I wish I could take a master's CS instead of a Bachelor's Degree but that can't happen unless I study bachelor's first. I have two more months to think about it.

And the reason for wanting that is from what I saw, most of the jobs want me to have a CS degree. (which is really sad 💔)

What would you do if you were in my place?

[allyanaleizel]

Hello, internet!

I have a confession to make. I find Instagram too overwhelming now with all the reels and the algorithm. Twitter (now named X) feels like a graveyard. I feel a bit uncomfortable to put my life on TikTok. I don’t think I have the following to start a newsletter. I know I’m not eloquent enough to write amazing things on Medium or Substack. So, where do I go?

Here I am, in the platform where I basically started and learned how to express my creativity. The good ‘ol Tumblr blog. A lot of things have definitely changed and there’s a bit of learning curve into navigating the interface again. I do, however, find some comfort in feeling like I’m just talking to myself. No number of real-time views, no algorithm, and not a single care whether or not I gain followers.

It’s been almost a decade since I last used Tumblr seriously. I know it’s dramatic to say, but this place is truly where I discovered my skills and passion. There was a time when doodles were a thing and I became that girl in high school who would just doodle during math class. I would get scolded by my teachers but it never really bothered me. I also remember getting into coding my own Tumblr themes, that’s why until now some basic CSS/HTML is ingrained into my brain. I learned how to use Photoshop, Paint Tool SAI, etc. I got into digital photography because everyone else on my feed was doing it. Even though I had the most beginner friendly DSLR, I treasured it the most up until college. Basically, I was a sponge. Anything that piques my creative interest, I would always try my best to learn something about it.

10 years later.

Sometimes when we look at our current self and where we are now, we tend to overlook the progress we’ve made throughout the years. Writing this somehow makes me smile. Because even though I know deep down that I’m not a hundred percent satisfied with who I am at the moment, I know that the person I described in my last paragraph is extremely proud of our progress. I wish I could tell her that we graduated at our dream university with flying colors and best solo thesis award. I wish I could tell her about the projects we’ve done and that we have a published children’s book locally. Lastly, I wish I could tell her that the things that made her feel “weird” in high school is now her part of her career that funds her bills, little travels, and dates with self & friends.

I am, by no means, saying that I am successful by society’s standard. There are boxes in my artist career checklist written 5 years ago that I no longer what to pursue. I am the kind of person who believes that success is defined by one’s self, and it’s not only limited to career but your life as a whole.

The shift.

If you’ve been following me on Instagram, you might’ve read a couple of stories I’ve shared about struggling with burnout and finding motivation to create personal art again. At first I was convinced that it was just a creative burnout. But, a burnout can’t possibly last for years, right? 😅 My second theory is that maybe deep down I wanted to just prioritize having a creative day job, since it brings in money to pay the bills. My last theory is how I feel like I’ve associated my creativity to my emotions, and that I could only create when I’m really going through something. (Like a heartbreak or during the peak of the panini.) And since I’m at my happiest state, I no longer feel the need to escape through art.

Whether it’s a burnout or something else, I do believe that I’m just taking my time. Quoting Ursula from Kiki’s Delivery Service, "Stop trying. Take long walks. Look at scenery. Doze off at noon. Don’t even think about flying. And then, pretty soon, you’ll be flying again.”

I don’t want to put myself in a box.

When you have a lot of interests, it’s kind of difficult to find an outlet for all the things that you want do. The internet advice always seem to tell you to “find a niche and stick with it.” But…what if I don’t want to? I really thought my dream was to become an independent illustrator, but somehow I found myself enjoying design too. As I described earlier, I am the kind of person who likes to explore anything that piques her creative interest — and this took me a while to fully embrace. Throughout the years, I also learned that I have non-creative skills that can thrive in a workplace such as team & project management. So why put myself in a box when there’s so much more out there that I can try out?

I still have a lot to figure out, but I’m slowly trying to get back to things I enjoy doing. I’m just really calm and happy right now being the most basic adult with her day job on weekdays and doing her silly little chores on weekends.

Whew, this is one lengthy post. Maybe I am a yapper, after all. Haha! But I do hope to share more of my life and thoughts here. If you’re still reading this, thank you and I hope you have a great rest of your day!

All love and sunshine,

Allyana

[izicodes]

do you have any advice for someone who kinda "failed" to break into tech and is still in the medium-level for learning. i feel like i've spent so much time (years) on this but haven't made much progress. how do i really get into it and stay in it? love your blog btw. i'm tempted to start one of my own but my projects are a mess and ugly 😭

I'm sorry to hear that you feel like you haven't made much progress in breaking into tech. It's important to remember that everyone's journey is different, and it's never too late to start or improve. But then again, you have spent years learning and you want to into the tech industry.

The obvious advice would be don't give up. My dad has been studying to get into Cybersecurity since the early 90s and he just got into the industry this year. He never gave up - family to look after and he could study like the other students in his university course because the large majority of them were single 18-22-year-olds who their only responsibility is themselves. Don't give up and don't compare yourself to other people.

You've got to look at what has been holding you back. Health issues, work issues, money? Can't study full-time or even part-time if you need to pay the bills.

Even if you can, are you consistent with your studying? We all know consistency is key. Studying for one week but don't study for 2-3 weeks won't work. I know the type of learner I am - if I don't code or study every day, even just for 30 minutes, then my tendency to procrastinate will increase a lot and it'll all go downhill from there.

Know your strength - build on the skills you are good at. Believe it or not, I know a developer I met in a discord server who only uses HTML, CSS, and JavaScript to build websites and webpage themes for clients as a freelancer and he's doing really well. It's because he realised that he's really good at those three basic languages and he worked really hard to excel at them. Expand on what you know best.

On the flip side, you could look at job postings around where you live or nationally in your country and see what skills/languages/technologies they ask for the most for hiring developers. Example: I live in the UK and a couple of months ago when I was actively looking for a new Frontend Dev job, I saw that Vue.js, React.js, and PHP (besides the usual HTML, CSS, and JavaScript) were asked for the most. If I wanted those jobs, I would learn those technologies, create a few projects to showcase my knowledge in them, and start applying. That could be one way to break into the industry.

Another way would be certificated. Bootcamps, online courses, or in-person courses like university or community colleges. Yes, they say that you don't always need a university degree to get into tech but some kind of education you've gone through that is tech-related e.g. Google courses or the Frontend Dev course that Meta is providing (paid). My colleague completed a computer science degree but he then did a bootcamp and he completed and that's how he landed the job where I work. So even graduates are getting further education. If you can't afford the massive fees, Udemy is a great place to get courses. And don't be shy with the Havard CS50 course videos they have on YouTube - free and you get a certificate free as well!

The advice I give might not work if you haven't identified why after all these years you haven't gotten your foot into the tech industry. This is no way intended to be rude, but if another person who had the same amount of time you studied, and they have gotten a tech job in that time, what makes you different? Goes back to what I said about the things that are holding you back. Some of the reasons are inevitable like health but you need to keep making that effort!

If you need help, you need to ask. Find a mentor or support group. Having someone to guide and encourage you can be incredibly helpful. Look for a mentor or join a support group where you can connect with others who are also learning and growing in tech. You can search for them online, some people offer advice for CV/Resume help or real "getting into tech" advice on places like Fiverr or Upwork or just google for some consultants online. They would cost obviously but if you're really struggling, this might help. After completing bootcamps, they tend to help you get your first job etc so they might be worth considering!

The last bit of advice is do you have a portfolio? No no, like a proper one where you feel confident enough to give to family members, friends, and potential employers? No? Either learn to build one (free of charge) or hire someone to build it for you (costs money) A portfolio is a great way to showcase your skills and projects to potential employers. Even if your projects feel messy or ugly, focus on highlighting what you learned and what you accomplished.

Obviously, I gave hints of advice more towards Frontend Dev because that's what I know more of but you can alter the advice to whatever niche in programming you're into. Remember, breaking into any field takes time and effort. Stay motivated and focused on your goals, and don't be afraid to reach out for help or support when you need it. Good luck!

** I'm not the best at giving advice but I hope this helps 💗

[narwhalpanda]

15 questions/15 people

thank you @angry-velociraptor for tagging me! im usually horrible at filling these (i tell myself aw thats sweet, ill do it later and then ill NEVER get back to it) but today im determined to answer some questions >:3c

1. are you named after anyone?

nope, my mom had to change plans for my name last minute so that my birthday and name day didn't fall on the same day. but even the planned name still wasn't an homage to anyone

2. when was the last time you cried?

about two days ago watching the end of Search for Bob (CR1 oneshot) when Liev'tel asks the Raven Queen whether Vex and Keyleth will be happy. that got me good, dammit Liam and Matthew

but overall i am so easily moved to tears its ridiculous

3. do you have kids?

nu-uh

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

lately i've noticed that it's not always obvious to some of my friends when im joking/sarcastic without malice, so im trying not to unless im sure there cannot be a misunderstanding

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

their neutral facial expression (or how the look at me) and height i think?

6. what’s your eye color?

grey-blue, got that from dad's side

7. scary movie or happy endings?

im not much into movies but ive definitely watched more horrors than romantic comedies, so ill go with scary (ive got Mouth of Madness on my list rn)

8. any special talents?

not exactly a talent but id say im weirdly lucky when it counts

9. where were you born?

in czech republic, normal hospital baby

10. what are your hobbies?

drawing is my life long hobby, something i keep coming back to. lately ive become the filthiest of casuals of ttrpgs and im having a blast. also i have been housebound for past three months (icky leg injury) and in that time i got to come back to reading which has also always been my beloved activity, as well as pick up new things like painting minis (ive got little ranger/fighter/wizard mice miniatures and the are tiny and adorable af) and in past few days i got into neocities so im learning html and css to make my own little website and im having so much fun. id like to formally apologize to all my for the time abandoned hobbies, including but not limited to writing, embroidery, linocut and sewing, i swear ill get back to yall some time but now is just not that time.

11. do you have any pets?

currently not :c

12. what sports do you play/have you played?

ive played volleyball for ten years, i stopped playing when i went to college. after that ive done tai-chi for a year, then nothing for a loong time, then i finally decided to hit the gym and get some shoulders, which went great before i felt fit enough to try volleyball again and that is where my 3 month long icky leg injury comes from lmao. but when im healed id love to get fit again (not sure about the volleyball, im super scared but asasdgf it made me so happy to play again), it was brief but awesome, it really is so good for my body and brain to exercise regularly

13. how tall are you?

169 cm, which i think is about 5'6"

14. favorite subject in school?

geography and literature. i wish i remembered more from both high school and uni, man, it was cool to know things about these

15. dream job?

my dream job used to be book editor or librarian. now... ive worked as a librarian for two years now, on two different posts, and i really like the job, tho i eventually wish to do something that is paid a bit better and/or more creative. id like some fun job sometime in my life. but who wouldnt :D

tagging: @lawful-goof @mu-mumie @zraloci-cpr @picachews @zelvuska (feel no obligation you know how it goes :3)

[bernadinesweetspot]

Day 2: My First Game Jam!

At the end of my last blog post, I had decided I wanted to achieve two things today:

1. implement some CSS;

2. expand and randomise sections of text.

I feel like I can safely say I met both of those goals today!

Most of the morning and afternoon were taken up by reading through CSS documentation, mainly using W3 schools as reference. I then put what I had learned (or relearned... lots of my knowledge of CSS and HTML coding came from my college years, which I can admit was about... 12 years ago~) into a simple stylesheet that my twine game can use.

This involved thinking about certain design aspects. Whilst I could easily decide on what fonts would be used for headers vs text, the sizing of borders and styling of hyperlinks, I had not yet chosen what colour palette I wanted to use for my game.

I frequently use pinterest as a low effort mood and idea board, and I already had a board that I had saved plenty of my favourite colour schemes in. These have mainly been used as inspiration for bitsy games or games that use less than 8 channels of colour. However, when browsing the ones I had saved over the years, I found none had that post box aesthetic (whatever that actually is...). so I searched for palettes with a post box/mail type theme.

I limited it down to three options, but I most liked the last palette I had referenced (it's always the same, it's the last one you try!). This probably wont be my final colour palette, but it's been nice to not have to think about it again, and should I wish to change the hex values, I know exactly where and how to make those changes.

After mucking about with CSS, I switched over to randomising my text segments. This was easily than I had imagined, only using the either() function in sugarcube. Now each point defining passage has a 50% chance of having different text in the storyline! I hope that with this change, my game could be a bit more replayable.

Randomising my suspicious scores alongside my happiness meter proved a bit more tricky... and I wish I could tell you how I fixed it but I don't quite know what I did?

At some point I was super embarrassed because I had a functional game before, which then changed to a non-functional game and when trying to troubleshoot why, I was greeted with a  whole ass page of + 4 repeating. I wish I got a screenshot but I also am grateful I no longer have to look at an entire screen of + 4 + 4 + 4 over and over and over...

Finally, after losing some steam since it is currently midnight over here, I jiggled around my twine wysiwyg passages into a more readable format. This wasn't particularly hard but my fiance had a good point about flow chart readability, and I trusted his opinion due to his history and experience with other pieces of software that depended on flow charts (for example, Magic).

Other than that, I might call it a day! What I'd like to do tomorrow is:

Refining score probabilities using maths (will likely need a helping hand to make gameplay balanced);

Adding more functionality and random text segments;

Creating a new level wherein your suspicion meter could advance you to a promotion? Unsure... stay tuned!

Over and out!-

[the--descension]

i would die for a "how to use html and css to format ao3" lesson from you 👀 no pressure but i'm genuinely in awe :)

Hello! So sorry it’s taken me ages to get to this. 

It's no pressure at all! I have tried to cover the basics of HTML/CSS on AO3 here, and instead of writing very extensively about the syntax which is very Google-able, I have tried to include little tips and tricks that have come in handy for me. 

This, by no means, is a complete guide but I hope it can get you started with HTML and CSS on AO3!

It got pretty long, so the answer’s below the cut.

Okay, so let’s start at the very beginning, shall we?

What is HTML and CSS?

Well, HTML is Hyper Text Markup Language and CSS is Cascading Style Sheets. 

But that is something that probably doesn’t help a lot, so to put it very simply, HTML provides the structure of a webpage while CSS does the styling, that is, fixing how and where the elements should exist, how to shape them, how to space them, all so that the webpage looks great.

Something to keep in mind is that all web pages can run only on HTML but the end result is not going to be something that’s nice to look at. In fact, without CSS, the page might not even make a lot of sense. Here, take a look at Tumblr itself with all CSS disabled (there’s a very useful extension called Web Developer that allows you to do this):

Not very nice to look at, but all the elements of the page are here only with the help of HTML.

And look, this is what the above section looks like with CSS enabled:

This was just a brief visual walkthrough to show what HTML and CSS really do, but let’s move on to HTML and CSS in the world of AO3.

Where does the HTML and CSS go on AO3?

The HTML part of the code is put into the text box when you post a new story/new chapter. You must have noticed the two options — Rich Text and HTML — and it’s important to have HTML selected for AO3 to identify the HTML tags that you’ll be using.

All your content goes into this textbox. Whatever text you may be writing, whatever images you may be hosting, whatever links you might want to add— everything goes here.

Now, for styling all the content that you’ve put into the textbox, you need CSS, and that happens through work skins. It’s super simple, and all you have to do is go to Skins on your AO3 panel and then to My Work Skins, and then create a new work skin where you can dump all of your CSS code.

Okay, so onward we go.

How to HTML and CSS?

I’m no expert in web design and my knowledge mostly comes from Coursera, one summer internship, one class in college, and extensive online searching. And, I’ll tell you this, the most I have learnt is from extensive online searching.

Because at the very heart of it, web design is not so much about understanding and applying concepts (as with other coding languages) but more about visualizing elements and testing them out. I must add that this is completely my opinion as a person who rather enjoys data structures and algorithms as compared to web dev, and I’m certain that seasoned web developers will disagree with my views here. 

Right, so the online searching. The best in the business when it comes to explaining HTML/CSS is www.w3schools.com. They have sample code, short and sweet explanations, and an online IDE to test your code. Really, it’s a win-win situation.

Alrighty, so now you know where to look for your HTML tags and CSS properties but how do you figure out which ones to use?

HTML Tags

I’ll talk about the HTML that’s required for coding on AO3 exclusively.

But before that— every HTML document has two main parts: the <head> and the <body>. But here on AO3, we only code the <body> which, as its name suggests, holds the content that’s going to appear on the browser. The <head> part is not required for AO3 work skins at all.

Okay, so how to code HTML on AO3? Well, your best friends are going to be the container tags such as <div> and <span>, and the paragraph tag <p>. What these tags do is they create areas on your browser — you can imagine them as small rectangles and squares — where you can put in your content via HTML, and then later style using CSS.

See this? The entire shaded area belongs to a <div> which is styled by a CSS class called “tumblr” (to keep things simple, we’ll only focus on CSS classes, and not id’s. It won’t really hamper developing a workskin in any way.)

This above belongs to a <p> that is styled by a CSS class “tumblrbody”. And, this <p> exists within the <div> mentioned above.

Here’s a <span> styled using the CSS class “tumblrtags”, which comes within the <div> and <p> we just discussed.

Basically, the idea is that the entire page will have to be divided into all these subsections, nested within each other if required, so that they can then be styled using CSS.

Other HTML tags that come in handy are the <a> and <img> tags.

The <a> or anchor tag is used to embed links. Want your reader to be led to a separate page while they’re reading your story? This is it. (This one’s quite common, and authors use them quite frequently in their notes to link to their Twitter/Tumblr etc.)

The <img> tag is used to embed images as the name suggests.

See how the picture is within an <img> tag styled by a CSS class “tumblrimg”?

Again, I’m not talking about the syntax of these tags or how they have to be written because that’s something which can very easily be found on w3schools or any other web dev tutorial website.

So, that’s pretty much about HTML. Now, CSS.

CSS Properties

So, when I talk about how most of my web dev happens through thorough internet searching, I’m mostly talking about CSS. Because HTML tags aren’t difficult to remember, they stay in memory when you keep designing web pages, but CSS properties... ugh.

But before we begin, a short note on CSS classes. To simplify matters you can look at them as labels given to your HTML container tags (<div> for example). Once you assign the label to your HTML element, you can then style that label in your CSS, and introduce properties to it which you want to see in your HTML. It basically forms the link between your HTML and CSS. 

Say, I have a <div> that I want to style, then I’ll give it a label like this: <div class=”mongoosesurprise”>Your code</div>. The class name is mongoosesurprise, and when I have to style that particular <div>, I’ll have CSS code that looks like this:

Now, about CSS properties. 

You see all the words in white followed by a colon? max-width? border? background-image? That’s it— CSS properties. I can never remember if it is maxwidth or max-width, whether it’s margin-right or right-margin, whether it’s padding-right or right-padding, and that’s where the Googling comes in.

Again, like with HTML, I’ll only talk about CSS on AO3. Unlike regular CSS, CSS here always has to start with #workskin. And then, #workskin can be followed by our class name. (The class name must be preceded by a fullstop though, like in the picture above.)

My CSS design procedure is all over the place. I entirely work on the basis of trial and error. I keep adjusting properties like max-width and padding and margin to see how the elements fit best. (It doesn’t take me as long as it did four-five years ago to estimate these values and I’d attribute that to practice and inspecting a lot of web pages. On a related note, it’s great to learn web design by inspecting other pages.)

I realize this isn’t great advice but like I said, it’s always been about trial and error when it comes to CSS. What I can say conclusively is that with properties width, height, display, position, padding, and margin most of your HTML tags will be placed properly. But when it comes to styling, the list is really quite endless. From a number of font-related properties to border, there’s a lot— and, thus, Google.

And, finally, what you must know for HTML/CSS on AO3 is how to host images.

Hosting Images

If you want your work to contain images, it’s best to host them somewhere online. Imgur is a great option; it’s free and really simple to use. Once the image is uploaded, you can get the share links and put it in your HTML <img> tag (under the src attribute— again, very syntactical so I’m not getting into that), or if you want you can put it in your CSS as an attribute for the property “background-image” (like in the code above).

You’ll have to make minor changes to the share link though, that is, add the image extension (.png or .jpg) to the end of the link. Also, sometimes the image doesn’t render if there’s no ‘i’ preceding ‘imgur.com’. Here’s a sample link that works perfectly: http://i.imgur.com/aSMSztl.png.

And, I think that’s pretty much it.

This covers the absolute basics of how to code HTML/CSS on AO3. But I’d like to repeat that by no means is this everything. If there’s a particular area you’d want me to explain, please feel to drop in an ask!

Happy coding! 

[purplesurveys]

1183

survey by xflirtykaosx

Alphabetti Spaghetti (1/3)

And we will fall in love with shooting stars. - A

Have you ever seen an Aardvark? I don’t think so.

Were you ever abandoned in a public place as a child? Where? Abandoned is a pretty harsh word lol. My parents did like playing pranks on me and hide whenever I’d get distracted at the grocery or department store. They’d let me get nervous or even tear up for a bit until showing up again.

What accent do you have? I guess just your standard Filipino English accent that’s common among people who were able to take up English studies. I don’t really know how to describe it.

Is there someone in your family addicted to something? What is it? I don’t think so.

Have you ever been under general anaesthetic? What were you having done? I think so? When I had a tooth extraction done on me two years ago I was told I was going to be injected with anaesthesia, but I didn’t feel as if anything changed throughout the procedure. Either my dentist told me fake news lol or he’s just really good at his job for me to not notice anything.

How do you show the ones you love affection? It depends on the person. Around my friends, I know I’ve had taken a liking to them once I start getting especially talkative with them. For people I have even deeper relationships with, I like...buying them gifts, I guess. Getting them things that remind me of them. I would also bend over backwards to do nice deeds for them, like driving them to their destination even if I find it far.

Are you more passive or aggressive? I tend to be very passive aggressive in the way I deal with things.

Do you like the band Aha!? Not in particular.

Do you know anyone called Aidan? What are they like? Nope.

Ever heard of the band Ajax? No but I know that’s a brand of like cleaner or something. That’s close enough to ‘band’ haha.

Do you know anyone called Akash? I don’t either.

Do the sound of fire alarms scare you? They would obviously be scary if it rang for a real reason. Who wouldn’t freak out over a fire?

Do you live in America? If so, which state? If visited, where'd you go? No, and I’ve never visited either. I’d love to take a trip to cities like New York, New Orleans, Portland, and Chicago one of these days.

Have you ever had an ant infestation in your house? Only when there’s food left out accidentally.

Aora - did I spell that correctly? I don’t even know what you’re referring to, so I can’t tell you if you’ve spelled whatever it is right.

Do you have a preference in Apple? What type do you prefer? I don’t quite get this question - like a preference within Apple products? I mean, a phone and a laptop are essentials for me, and generally I do prefer having an iPhone and Macbook over other brands; but I can live without an iPad, an Apple Watch, iMac, Apple Pen, etc...if this is what you mean.

Are you an Aquarian? Is anyone in your family/your partner/best friend? ...You mean Aquarius? No. I don’t believe in astrology nor pay attention to zodiac signs either, so I wouldn’t be able to name Aquariuses that I know right off the bat.

Have you ever worn any type of armor? Which type? I don’t think I’ve ever had to, no.

Do you use the word ass a lot? Kinda, but it’s usually part of a longer word, i.e. asshole, asshat, deadass, etc.

Have you or your family had an attorney? What for? Not to my knowledge.

Is your car/family’s car an automatic gear or manual? Automatic.

Are you interested in aviation, piloting and aircrafts? Just the slightest bit. I would love to learn how to fly a plane, and I would be willing to pay for lessons. It’s just the type of activity that’s super hard to squeeze into an already-hectic schedule of mine.

What was the last award you recieved for? A academic distinction in college.

Axl Rose - like or dislike? Like, but I’m nowhere near a passionate fan. I just don’t have any reasons to actively dislike him.

Do you like air being spelt ayre or ayer in rap or hiphop or is it nasty? I don’t care.

Is the sky outside Azure? If not, what shade is it? No, it’s pitch black.

Belle amour (we've been here before). - B

Do you call anyone baby? Is it sweet or an overrated name for affection? Just my dogs. I find it sweet; it’s my preferred term of endearment if in a relationship.

Bby - does this shortened version bug you? No; my friends and I use this with each other.

Do you know what BC in terms of time stands for? Before Christ, but I prefer using BCE.

BDf - For or against? I don’t know what this is referring to.

Do you prefer beach breaks, city breaks or winter breaks? Why? Beach breaks. Winter break is an immediate cross-out since we don’t even have winter; and I already live and work in an urban area as it is. Beaches are my way to go if I want to escape life for a bit and completely unwind.

Do you spell out boyfriend properly or put bf in texts/online? I can use either depending on what I feel like typing out. It’s not that serious haha.

Do you know what bg is short for? Upon reading this question I immediately thought ‘background,’ but if this question had another meaning in mind I wouldn’t be aware of it.

Do you know anyone with the last name Bhays? No.

Have you ever been bird watching? What did you see? No, doesn’t sound like my kind of hobby.

Do you like Bjork? Not in particular, but just like the Axl Rose question I don’t have anything against her either.

What does this read: bk 2moz miss u lyk fk. Doesn't this text speak annoy? No one types like this anymore at least among people I know, but I imagine it would lowkey bother me a bit.

Do you like BMWs? They’re whatever. I don’t pay attention to cars much.

What is the nearest book to you called? How many times have you read it? There aren’t any books here up on the rooftop.

BnQ - gone there? What did you buy? Idk what that is.

Are you more brainy or brave? I wanna say brainy, if anything? I’m pretty jumpy lol.

Did you like the BSBs (Backstreet Boys) as a kid? How about now? No, I’m a little too young for that generation of artists and groups.

Burgers, Hot Dogs or Salads at a Barbecue? We don’t really practice ~barbecues~ here. But at Filipino parties I would usually flock to lumpia and fried chicken, hehe.

Do you have a Byro? No, because I also don’t know what that is.

Cold eyes and filthy lies all leave me petrified. - C

Do you have a Cactus (Cacti)? No, I don’t like plans.

Do you know what a CCTV is? Yes...?

How many CDs are in the room you are currently in? None where I am right now but I have all of Beyoncé’s albums save for Lemonade in my bedroom. I also have Paramore’s self-titled album and Hayley Williams’ Petals For Armor. My CD collection is about to experience a revival because of BTS, though. My plan to get all versions of all their albums is rock solid, lmao.

What's your favourite cereal brand? Cookie Crisps.

Do you like children's TV shows still? Which one(s)? I’ll revisit an episode or two of shows I watched as a kid at a given time for old times’ sake, but I don’t regularly watch children’s TV shows anymore. I haven’t for a very long time.

Cinnamon - Yum or Yuck? I’m actually kind of in the middle about it. I feel like too many desserts have been banking on cinnamon, so the taste of it can be a little tiring. It’s delicious if I haven’t had it for a while, though.

Do you know anyone with the initials and or name CJ? Quite the opposite; I know PLENTY of JCs, even my sister is one. I know one or two CJs but that’s it.

Have you ever met a self professed clairvoyant? What did they do/say? No.

Do you watch CNN News? What's your prefered news channel/show? I don’t tune into the channel but every once in a while I will encounter a CNN link on social media that I’d actually click on and read through. As for preferred news sources, I don’t have one as there are matters to criticize about 99% of them lol; but I am most likely to trust articles I from AP or Reuters. Just things you pick up as a journalism student. 

How many cousins do you have? I have 9 first cousins. I lose count by the time I try to go beyond that since I don’t even know all of my dad’s cousins, which makes it hard to track who my second cousins are.

Do you still draw with crayons? When was the last time you did? Drew what? I don’t remember anymore.

Do you know what a CSS feed is? What is it? I’m familiar with the term but never bothered to learn about what it is.

Do you like cycling/biking? What type of bike do you have? ...I don’t even know how to ride a bike.

Do you really like it, is it is it wicked. - D

What is the most dangerous animal you've petted/held? I can’t decide between snake or crocodile.

Do you like Death Metal? If so, which band(s)? I wouldn’t say I do.

Did you ever keep a diary/journal? I did a million attempts to keep a diary when I was younger, but I was never able to keep up with any of them and I ended up having 4598358395 notebooks with one or two entries each at most. Having a Tumblr page for surveys has so far been my most successful streak at keeping some type of journal.

Do you prefer small, medium, large or no dogs? I prefer all dogs.

Do you know what DP stands for in porn? Yes.

Have you ever dressed up as a celebrity for a party/Halloween? I went as my favorite female wrestler once. I wouldn’t strictly call her a celebrity, but she’s a very well-known personality in the wrestling industry so she’s popular in that right.

DS or Wii? Why? Wii. I was able to make more memories with it.

Does dust make you sneeze or cough? Sneeze, usually.

How many DVDs do you have all together? Idk, I don’t buy DVDs anymore.

Do you dye your hair regularly, sometimes or never? I’ve never done it.

Every love lies sometimes . . . - E

What's something you refuse to eat? Most fruits.

Don't you think the word ebb is so pretty? I’m neutral about it. I don’t use it a lot.

Do you like Chocolate Eclairs? I love eclairs in general haha. Chocolate eclairs in particular sound delicious.

Ever tried edible paper? Yeah, with the White Rabbit candy.

Eevee - pretty name or too Pokemon-y? Definitely very Pokemon-y. 

Do you sometimes mix up the spellings/meanings of affection and defection? Erm, no? They have completely different spellings and meanings, so I personally have never switched them up.

Do you have a big ego, low self esteem or somewhere in between? I think I’m somewhere in between. I’m insecure about some things about myself, but I don’t really put myself down 24/7. I feel like that would put such a strain on my mental health, which I certainly would never need.

What Element does your starsign fall under? I think earth? My co-workers were just discussing this last Friday, but I couldn’t really butt in since I can’t bring myself to care about astrology. I know they mentioned Taurus being an earth sign though.

Do you show your emotions easily and freely or hide them? Depends...I can do either depending on the situation.

What is your favourite form of entertainment? Korean reality shows are quickly becoming a favorite of mine at the moment. I also like compilation videos on YouTube.

What will they write on your epitaph? I’ve honestly hadn’t put much thought into this yet, and I don’t plan to anytime soon. It just seems like a super grave thing to think about lol.

Estimate/guess what number we are on now? Maybe 60s or 70s?

Do you know basic social etiquette? I mean etiquette will always differ per country or culture, so what is basic in other countries might not be here, and vice versa. I think it’s hard to measure.

Does your country use the Euro, Great British Pound, Dollar or other? Other.

Do you still get excited on Christmas Eve? Yes. Mostly for the free food and the opportunity to see relatives I really only ever see every December 24.

What animal/creature that is extinct do you wish wasn't? Those that went extinct from human activity.

What colour eyes do your parents have? Black/dark brown.

[fukuo]

Thoughts for the past year, COVID-19 and updates about life in general

It’s been a year since I made a new Tumblr theme for public use and almost 8 years since I started this blog. As usual, I am not as active and enthusiastic as I used to be. Let’s take a moment to remember when I was active in my prime years in circa 2012 to 2014—I release new content periodically, actively follow a few creators in the community, and many more. I honestly miss that moment so much.

But after 2015 forwards, I decided not to focus on theme making since I started my life as a college student. I spent nearly 4 years dedicated my life to focus on my studies but unfortunately, I didn't my time to learn more about the new trends in web development so I am kinda left behind. I struggled to learn Vue and React at the same time and I’ve reached to the point that I can’t focus learning two frameworks at the same time so I decided to go with Vue until now since in my opinion React is renowned for its steep learning curve compared to Vue. I need to know about JSX and literally everything is just JavaScript. I came from developers who have been working with HTML and CSS for so long and it feels more natural to read and write in this syntax compared to JSX (and again it’s my opinion so take it with a grain of salt).

Oh, I also made a portfolio website a few months ago which you can see here: https://fukuo.design/. It’s build using Nuxt.js. The code is open source so if you want to know how I build this, just take a look here: https://github.com/fukou/fukuo

I also have been learning Figma lately to design a web design and design systems for easier development and I love it so far! Might want to pursue a career as UX Designer in the future. You can see the Figma file of my portfolio web here: https://www.figma.com/file/0xFxQgZORwJ3SGpr0xRfNC/Fukuo for your reference.

On an entirely different note, I just want to apologize for not being active for so long and I know I always say this every 6 months or years. 2020 is the hardest year for me (or us) because of the coronavirus. After my graduation in February (no celebration due to isolation), I started job hunting and spend countless applying, technical tests, and interviews. It was an exhausting process to get at this point and I finally have gotten my first full-time job as a Front End Developer in Yogyakarta (and one week later, a company from Singapore contacted me that I pass the technical recruitment and meant to be hired. I actually missed a “bigger” opportunity but I think it’s destined not for me).

So what's next for the future plan on this blog? To be honest, there is none. But I just wanted to say that I always maintain this blog. Even if some of you think I don't create something new—but I do have some drafts I have been working on, but to release the new theme is not going to happen any soon. I need more time to code because I am trying to implement something new on the theme.

After so many experiences of building a web, I don't only want to release an aesthetic-pleasing layout but also giving more attention to the general interest and UX design in general. So if any of you have any ideas in mind, do not hesitate to message me.

I actually am still accepting commissions on this blog. Currently working on three projects which is interesting to me that people are still interested in commissioning me despite my inactivity on this blog.

I think that’s all for now. Thank you for sticking with me as always. Cheers!

[its-annanguyen]

Final Thoughts on Experience

INTRODUCTION

As a Bachelor of Applied Science candidate, I am more focused on the interface design aspect, mainly dealing with web + mobile design & development. I enjoy creating digital arts with a combination of computer programming in HTML/CSS. My hope is to become a UI/UX developer at a high-tech company like Google, Amazon, or even Yelp. That is why I am thankful to have interned at One Wave Designs during the summer of 2018 from June 1st to August 31st as a Web Design & Development Intern.

INTERNSHIP PROCESS

Learning Experience

As a Yelp Elitist, I searched up the “Best Web Design Company” on Yelp, in which One Wave Designs popped up as the first search with a 5-star rating! I gave it a shot and emailed the President/CEO/Owner of the company, Paul. He responded back asking for my resume and portfolio where I finally got a response a month later that I got the internship position!

During my time as an intern, I was responsible for mainly 3 things: web design & development, layout concepts, and SEOs. I mainly worked on 8 projects in 10 weeks. I learned that SEOs (Search Engine Optimization) is very important in web development because websites with good SEOs will always appear at the top of the search list depending on keywords that you use. For instance, if I were to type “Hawaii Web Design” in Google Search, One Wave Designs will be the first to pop up under all the other Google ads search. I learned how to hyperlink emails (mailto:) and phone numbers (tel:), which are also important factors in SEOs. Hierarchy, or the way you order the sizes of the header and texts, also matters too. When you’re adding images or links, it’s good to add a title or alt texts to increase SEO keyword searches. Lastly, saving/uploading images that are 200K or less is great for websites because it loads a lot faster.

I learned how to use 2 types of content management system (CMS), DNN Software and WordPress. I am very familiar with WordPress, it was my first time hearing about DNN. Unfortunately, though, DNN is not used as often anymore and non-developers are shifting to easy CMS like WordPress.I really liked using DNN because of how much coding is involved, whereas WordPress is almost dragging-and-dropping... this is more ideal for non-coders.

I learned how to use an FTP (File Transfer Protocol) software called FileZilla. This allows me to be flexible and customize a website through HTML/CSS coding. Basically, I can manipulate a style of the website by changing up the codes - which can only be done by FTPing and coding. It’s very confusing to explain and understand... I never heard anything like it before until I interned here! After taking web design & development course here at UHWO, I learned that it’s always a smart idea to make copies of the original files that I’ll be editing incase I mess up the codings. Don’t want to repeat that mistake again because there was a time where I had to reset the entire website and build it from scratch. :(

Layout concepts were the MOST STRESSFUL projects I had to do when I interned here. I honestly kind of dreaded it. Paul hated doing layout concepts too! Which explains why I always worked on them instead of him. These 4 software helped me a great deal when I had to make layout concepts/drafts for potential clients:

WhatTheFont.com

Google Fonts

Pantone Color Picker

iStockPhoto.com

WhatTheFont.com allowed me to upload a screenshot of a word so that it can identify the font types for me. Once it generates a few options of fonts, I’d download them (for free) using Google Fonts. Fonts that I find on Google Fonts are great for websites because it doesn’t have to be embedded. Another thing with the web is determining the color, so that’s why I always use the color picker on the Pantone website. Lastly, copyrights and permissions on images/videos/etc. are always questionable. That’s why I always look up stock photos on iStock since we have a subscription with them anyways. 

Discoveries

I feel like I’ve grown as a person over the years. I used to be so shy and quiet, never being the first person to speak or raise my hand. Through this internship among other things, I learned how to speak up and ask questions when I needed to. If this is an unpaid internship that I am devoting much of my time to, I EXPECT to learn quite a few things. It never hurts to ask questions because that’s how you learn -- this is my motto. I learned that I am not that great at criticisms or taking in constructive feedback. I want to learn how to be more patient because there were times I’d get super annoyed when my supervisors would tell me what to do when I’m already doing it or will do it. Also, seeing how much projects I’ve done in such a short time span, I discovered that I am a very quick self-learner. As Paul mentioned, every client will have different expectations when it comes to building their website, which is why he couldn’t help/guide me as much as he should’ve. But in a field like web design/development, everything to customizable and flexible, so there’s never just “one way” to work on every single project.

Sample Work

Here’s a GIF image I found that totally speaks to me when it comes to designing layout concepts: the struggle with making the sizes exact. I was able to learn what the difference is between changing an “image size” and a “canvas size” on Photoshop because of this!

CONCLUSION

I wouldn’t mind working in a place similar to my internship~ I mean, I accepted a job position with One Wave Designs after finishing up my internship hours so that says something :D until this day (December) I am still with them. After 6 months, I learned a lot from working at a small yet successful company. There’s sooOoOoOoo much stress that comes with it. There were several times when Paul would dump a handful of projects on me despite my limited schedule and time constraint. I would lose my cool with him at times, and that’s where I reached my boiling point and told him I had enough. That’s when I discovered how much courage I had. Just a few days ago, I turned in a 30-day resignation letter to him, planning to resign by the end of this year since my last semester of college will be a stressful one yet. After Paul received my letter, he decided to give me a freelance position and allowed me to work whenever I can and work from home instead of in the office (lolol). This is what I’ve always wanted!

To conclude, it was a great experience interning here, but it was even better when I actually got paid. Sometimes I would question whether the amount of work I’m doing would even equate to how much I was getting paid by the hour. Ultimately, I was in it for the long run to build my experience and resume. I finally learned when/where to draw the line, which I should’ve done a lot sooner. 

In the end, I learned that it’s good to build relationships with others and never be afraid to ask questions. Since I showed a lot of dedication and commitment when working here, I was able to earn Paul’s trust and was able to get things my way most of the time. I take internship experience very seriously. I’m here to learn so I’m not afraid to ask questions when I need to.

Whoops, forgot to add my presentation slides here: CM 390 Presentation

[mid-something]

2019 Year in Review

Right before 2019, I was ready to start over again without any plan. I didn’t, I stayed, and watched and worked, and my team at work ended the year with far and away the highest number of active students and most customers we’ve ever had, and a product team that’s actually making progress for what feels like the first time.

The year started with a strangely quiet East Village, starting at my old apartment playing Loopin’ Louie. We went out, the only people out on St. Mark’s. We sat in the back of a cocktail bar, Alex ordered a seltzer and bitters.

This year didn’t just feel fast, it feels like it didn’t happen. Like time’s flattened to a slick surface, all the things my experience used to grab on to to feel like things were really are totally gone, and getting flatter and smoother every year. Everything feels shiny and fake and weightless as the world collapses around us. Everything happens at the same time, doesn’t happen at all.

Performances

In January I attended Synchrony, a demo party that takes place on a beautiful train ride from NYC to Montreal. I had signed up over the summer, and wasn’t sure what to expect (and was so overworked, and so tired). On that train I met the group that ran Livecode NYC, and started taking part in shows.

I performed:

(January) Sounds at the Wordhack Open Projector, Babycastles

(February) Sounds at FMVP Tape Release, Babycastles

(March) Sounds/Music at my first official algorave, Sunnyvale

(August) Visuals (for the first time, using Vidcode actually, with a bizarre custom CSS interface that would have gone away if I’d refreshed) at an algorave, Wonderville

(October) Visuals - not playing first! - at the best and spookiest algorave, Wonderville

SGFPC

For most of the year, I met with this group once a week as we slowly worked our way through one batch of SFPC curriculum. I spent the bulk of my time and attention on Zach Lieberman’s Recreating the Past and learning about hardware components as best I could. I padded this with external workshops on electronics and biology at Genspace. It was a space where we could explore artists, the why and how of generative art, how groups learn and create, what learning meant, and where art fit into the world and our lives.

Workshops & Speaking Events

A lot of what I did this year connected to work, but I made an effort to combine my search for “why” outside of work with what I talked about with students and teachers in my day-to-day.

(January) Web Animation with CSS and SVGs at Brooklyn Research

(February) Gave what will probably be the last iteration of Low-tech VR Starter Kit at the first NYC Processing Day

(April) Visiting speaker at Business Tech Lectures, Cornell Tech

(April) Spoke about Vidcode at Teachers College, Columbia University with more of a focus on the pedagogy and process vs the startup process of product market fit, business, and marketing at Cornell Tech

(April) Shared a history of generative artwork and how it connected to their work at the Jersey City Art Show in Liberty State Park

(June) I spoke with Allie and Maya about impact at the Rethink Investor Summit

(June) Gave an interpretation of Recreating the Past in workshop form that I still feel wonderful about

Arcade Jam

This deserves its own category because it’s absolutely incredible that it happened. Two friends and I organized and ran an Arcade Jam (a game jam with a focus on hardware), with basically no experience making hardware games, in Shenzhen, a city on the other side of the world that I had never been to before. All the advertising was through PDFs sent to WeChat groups, there was no website for the event accessible in China. It was incredible! We had 6 games and ~20 participants (some dropped out after the first day). The projects ranged from a killer robot to a torturous pinball game to an asteroid Kinect game that was very stubborn about its targets.

Travel 💕

The first part of the year was stressful, focused on selling and surviving. But the travel, when I got to it later in the year, was wonderful. The high point was seeing my first definite shooting star in the mountains close to Pai, Thailand.

Let’s see, I’ll try and get this in order:

(February) Visited San Antonio for work. I had a fever and slept the whole time I wasn’t working, but fit in some killer Mexican food.

(March) Stayed at my grandparents’ house in Florida for a long weekend.

(March) Went up to Vermont to destroy a house and make a bonfire with the parts.

(May) Not sure if this counts, but spent a long weekend at my first burner camping experience in Upstate NY via Disorient, a strange experience with a burning sculpture right next to where a huge house had burned down years ago.

(July) Went to Spain for just under 3 weeks, the longest vacation I’ve had in a long time. The days stretched into swimming and tennis, coffee and dinners.

(August) Found my footing in Berlin, a lovely city with an exploratory spirit and an ability to be weird (we found a staircase in a bookcase that led to a secret underground part of the bar, and went to a wild party where phones aren’t allowed) that can’t exist in the suffocating ultra-high-rent apocalypse of NYC. Left Berlin via bus to the Chaos Communication Camp, at an old brick factory with a still-working train system, basically an adventure game in campground form. I absolutely loved it. One last night was spent in Berlin, drinking wine and eating at a classic German restaurant.

(October) Close to home - I went on a lovely Staten Island field trip for Ruthie’s birthday, took part in a picnic, went hiking, and went to an absolutely killer brewery and bbq place

(November) Healed in Asia. I didn’t even realize at the time how wonderful it would be, how badly I wanted to be over there. Japan was a whirlwind, China calmed me down, things were cheaper and went more slowly there, and Thailand brought me back to life, surrounded by good food and friendly people, motorbiking through the jungle filled with joy.

This upcoming year is the last year before I turn 30. I’ve set goals, but they’re strange and stressful and I only hope that they’ll lead to answers. I’m getting my footing, but still not sure where to walk, if that makes sense. Well, good luck new decade Leandra, we’ll see.

[irungracepace]

Suffer-more, I mean Sophomore year

I've had this blog for about 3 years now and looking back at posts just 1-2 years ago. I seem like a completely different person today.  

My sophomore year of college has thrown a lot of trash at me. Working through that garbage, taught me many life lessons and more about myself, as they left me #shook, #triggered, and #salty.

I usually post about positive things on my blog, but life has thrown me into a deep hole. This is simply my raw innate response to help those going through similar experiences feel less alone. I plan to learn and grow from this. I am not trying to promote anything in this post.

When I was in high school, running was my passion. It brought me more joy than anything else in my life at that point. I could never imagine that being taken away. Today, I have not run in 10 months and have not raced in 2.5 years.

2 years, 5 stress fractures, and 40+ pounds later, I've never had a chance to experience the same magnitude of joy. Life is not just about running, but it’s about the path that took to get to this point that affects my whole life.

During the summer before my freshman year of college, I was instructed by me ex-doctor to put on 20 pounds in two months before I would be "cleared" to run on the team even though I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder.

With my eagerness and excitement to start college on a positive note, I accomplished that medical order trusting that it was the right move. However, putting on 20 pounds in two months required plenty of habit changes, which violently turned against me, and carry on to this day.

I've dealt with many setbacks during my freshman and sophomore years of college. I emotionally ate my way through those setbacks, leaving me trapped in this damn coat of hydrocarbons.

I could care less about how I look, but it's what that 40 pounds of mass symbolizes: my loss of control, weakness, and setbacks.  

This year, this body seems as if it’s detached from my mind, making its own decisions. That is why I feel more hatred about it than anything. I hate this body for taking control of my life by giving me 5 stress fractures and deciding to waste time to binge eat. Hell, it's the reason why I can't even wear contacts because I can't stand looking at this body so it needs to be censored.

I cut off some people from high school, didn't go to many events, and stopped posting much on social media because I'm trying to avoid receiving comments about this damn body. Even as I know it's not my fault my body is doing that, this mass reminds me of all the setbacks that were not my fault. I feel terrible doing so, and hopefully, I will never have to do anything like this again because I will learn and grow from this.

I hate this body because it's the reason I keep getting injured - physically and emotionally. Every step I take exerts a greater force on my foot because of F=ma. it's not used to all this extra mass in such a short period of time. And then my body's like, "Oh okay let's give you another stress fracture, which means it's time to increase affinity to food so that we can further increase m as it's directly proportional to F, and F is directly proportional to stress fracture!" And I'm like, "wtf body what does food have anything to do with this?" and then body takes the wheel.

----

Even though this body can treat me like shit, myself and the body are two separate entities.

I'm very pleased with how my personality, maturity, and life direction has grown this year, despite the internal battle with this body. I also made many friends this school year because I didn’t isolate myself. I’m very happy to have met these people.

During fall quarter, I earned straight A’s in all my classes. However, winter quarter was when shit hit the fan - I got my worst grades since my sophomore year of high school because my mind was a turmoil.

For the past 4 years of my life, I wanted to go to medical school, become a neuro or orthopedic surgeon, and run in the Olympics as I run my blog. This year, I have decided that I want to pursue video game design and computer science/engineering/art instead and started to create my own game, Cell-fie.

This decision was terrifying, as I spend a lot of time beefing up my resume to make it stand out in medical school applications. I spent the majority of my academic career focusing on biology and medicine, suddenly switching to computer science was like diving into unknown. However, it wasn’t a blind decision since I took Java programming before college and self-taught myself HTML/CSS, javascript for my blog, and Photoshop for my art. 

I’m so happy to discover my passion.

Instagram also gave me a lot of anxiety. Since being injured, not posting about running, and decreased my posting frequency from every 2-3 days to every week, I  experienced a net lost about 150 followers. I was close to 5.5k on my main account when the school year started, and now I’m close to 5350.

During spring quarter, I let many things go. I took on a “not giving a flying shit” mentality about things I couldn’t control and telling those things to “f*** off” when those thoughts were coming because I was angry. However, by doing that, I started feeling a lot better. I also stopped going on social media often, and now I only check it once every 1-2 days on average. As a result, I didn’t binge eat for an entire month, which is the longest I’ve ever gone since it started. Then shit hit the fan when finals occurred.

After treating this body like trash by sleeping 5-6 hours a day for 11 consecutive weeks and eating at random times (dinner at 12am, etc) because it was not cooperating, this summer I plan to respect it again so it will give me what I want and be hella dope again. I’m not vain, but those symbolic hydrocarbons in the adipocytes will best damn get hydrolyzed. Go lipases!

http://irungracepace.tumblr.com/aboutme

[our-beginnings]

Lena Groeger: Developer, designer, and journalist at ProPublica

First thing’s first: tell us a bit about who you are, and what you do now.

Sure! I’m Lena, I’m a journalist/designer/developer at ProPublica. My job is a mix of reporting, writing, designing and coding, and I mostly make interactive graphics & data visualizations. I’ve also got a column called Visual Evidence where I write about how data & design affects people’s everyday lives. I was living in Brooklyn until a few months ago when I moved to San Francisco... and now live & work a block away from the beach!

What’s your favourite thing about ProPublica?

As an organization, I love our mission: to do journalism in the public interest, to give people context for what’s happening in their world right now (especially these days), and to have a real impact. But my favorite thing is definitely the people. I work with incredibly talented and accomplished journalists who at the same time manage to be some of the most humble people I’ve ever met. I consider myself ridiculously lucky to get to learn from them every day and to have a chance to try out crazy new ideas together.  

Talk about some recent projects. How do you come up with those crazy ideas, and how do they become reality?

Usually it’s a random mix of things. Sometimes it’s another reporter going “Hey look, this health agency publishes emergency room waiting times on their website, what if we did something with that?” which led to an app called ER Wait Watcher. Other times it’s an editor saying, “We have this complex cast of characters for a story about narco-terrorism, what if we made it into a comic?” which also turned into an interactive piece. And sometimes it’s just me surfing the internet and stumbling upon a French researcher’s website that happens to have county-level presidential election results going back to 1828.

Above: “The Making of a Narco-Terrorist,” a ProPublica interactive examination of whether the DEA is stopping threats or staging them. 

The latter was probably my favorite recent project, a piece called Lost Cause that we published right before the election. It framed past American elections through the lens of the losers: showing maps of who voted for the candidate that ultimately lost. The best part was interviewing a bunch of historians and geographers about what was going on in the country at the time and what they could “see” in the maps. Those conversations were endlessly fascinating (pro-tip: interview academics as much as possible – they are extremely eager and excited to talk to you about their work!)

Above: The “Lost Cause” project, showing past American elections from the standpoint of the loser. 

On the technical side, creating almost 50 maps for the piece was an interesting challenge, because not only did we need to map dozens of election results, but we needed to create historically accurate maps that corresponded to each election year. Turns out shape of the country has changed a lot since the 19th century (who knew!) and each year the county boundaries were slightly, or in some cases drastically, different.  

Thinking back, what was your ‘eureka' or origin moment?

I went to graduate school for science journalism, thinking I would write long articles about discoveries in neuroscience and psychology (I was really into that stuff in college, but didn’t want to be the one in the actual lab doing the actual work). I had never heard of data journalism or data visualization, and I certainly didn’t know that people working in news made graphics for the web. But when I found out (right around Hans Rosling’s famous wealth & health of nations video) it was instantly appealing. I had always really loved graphic design (mostly in a print context, posters and such), and suddenly here was this thing in journalism that let you tell incredible visual stories and meant that I could sometimes use Photoshop? I was so in.

One of the requirements of NYU’s science journalism program was to do an internship over the summer. I did mine at WIRED, and the vast majority of it I spent writing articles for the the Danger Room blog about drones and spies and other sci-fi worthy military projects. Somehow my editor Noah Shachtman agreed to let me do a data visualization project for the ten-year anniversary of 9/11 (keep in mind I had not published a single other graphic and all Noah knew was that I was capable of Photoshopping words onto petri dishes and chickens onto tanks).   

suddenly here was this thing in journalism that let you tell incredible visual stories and meant that I could sometimes use Photoshop? I was so in.

But we did it, and the final graphic was an attempt to tally up the cost of the war on terror. I realized at that point that this was precisely what I wanted to spend all my time doing.  

Above: ‘The Dead, The Dollars, The Drones’, Lena’s ‘eureka’ moment. 

What path did your career take from there? How do you find yourself where you are today?

It wasn’t long after that I started an internship at ProPublica. It was a writing internship – I was mostly writing stories about health and the environment. But every so often I would pitch a visual idea to Scott Klein, the editor of the data/graphics team (or “news apps” team, as we call it), and ask if I could design and build it myself. The first one I ever did was a side-by-side comparison of two types of airport body scanners. Then a fellowship on Scott’s team opened up and I moved across the office, and a few months later was hired full-time as a news apps developer.

Turns out that to make news graphics today, you need to know how to code. Whether that’s Javascript, R, Ruby or some other language often depends on the project, but knowing at least one programming language and being open to learning more is pretty important. When I stumbled into data visualization I knew only maybe a tiny bit of HTML and CSS. So my first year at ProPublica was a crash course in all kinds of programming challenges that I now encounter all the time but then were totally new: how to scrape a website, how to put dots on an map, how to make an interactive chart.

each project is less “Holy shit I have no idea how to do that,” and more “I’ve solved this other problem, I can probably do that one too.”

That year was probably the most insane and frustrating and rewarding year of work in my life. I was very lucky that ProPublica in general and Scott in particular care a great deal about giving reporters the time and space they need to learn new things. And it has its benefits – I joke with Jeff Larson and Al Shaw (two developers on our team) that they’ll never have trouble reading my code because they literally taught me all of it.

These days, I’m still learning a ton of new stuff for every project, but I’m familiar enough with the basics that each project is less “Holy shit I have no idea how to do that,” and more “I’ve solved this other problem, I can probably do that one too.” So, for example, when we wanted to make a visualization of human body parts for a project about America’s disastrous workers comp system, I was able to cobble together some pieces of code plus some shapes I made in Illustrator into an interactive that worked. For more on that project (I’m sure some of you may have a question or two) here’s a longer explanation.

In general, I’ve also gotten significantly better at Googling for the answer – that’s not nothing. 😜

Do you think that this convergence of data, design, and journalism is the way forward for the news industry more broadly?

I don’t want to make any sweeping predictions about the news industry, but I do think having data, programming and design skills can make you a better journalist, for a bunch of reasons. Here are a few: first, knowing a bit of programming lets you find and tell stories that no one else can.  If I had to copy and paste all the data that went into this project about health and safety problems on cruise ships, it would have taken me years (not even kidding). But knowing how to scrape a few websites let me grab all that data and sort, filter and analyze it into its final form.

knowing a bit of programming lets you find and tell stories that no one else can.

Second, having some data wrangling skills let’s you verify information on your own – you aren’t dependent on PR people or government officials to tell you what’s true. You can see for yourself what the data says! (That said, it’s probably a good idea to talk to a bunch of experts and do enough reporting to back up what you find).

Finally, knowing a little bit about design helps you create projects that are easy to understand and use. Most people know how to read a story that’s made entirely of words. But some of the interactive graphics and data visualizations making their way into the news these days are pretty complex, and being able to design them in a way that’s easy to follow and also tells a compelling story is important. That doesn’t happen by accident – designers spend a lot of time thinking about the user, ideally testing out different approaches on real people. Constantly keeping the user in mind usually makes for better journalism.   

You teach design and data visualisation as well; what prompted you to do this, and how have you found the experience of teaching?

Teaching is both much more difficult and much more fulfilling than I ever thought. It’s really amazing to see students applying the things you’ve mentioned in class to their own work, or getting them super excited about a new technique or a chart form they’d never seen. Then again, it’s really humbling to realize that even though you thought your lecture about, say, design principles was awesome and intuitive and the best explanation yet, some students are still totally mystified. It’s always a learning process for me also, since I’m constantly reworking lectures or tutorials to make them easier to follow or adjusting exercises to better capture the ideas I’m trying to explain.

One thing I do try to do is make all of my teaching materials, slides, etc, totally public and free for anyone to use. I’m constantly learning from free online resources, and feel like it’s important to put materials back into that space for others. We do this at ProPublica too, my colleague Sisi Wei and I run a 2-week workshop called the Data Institute, and put our entire curriculum up online for anyone to look at. It’s not the same as being in a classroom for 2 weeks, but it’s a way we try to give more people access to what we teach (at no cost to them).

A final note on teaching: showing students the Web Inspector for the first time is always a joy. That collective gasp probably makes the entire class worth it.

Finally: if you could do everything all over again, do you think your journey would be the same? Would you want it to be?

I’m sure if I did everything over again my journey would look very different. It’s easier to tell a nice linear narrative in retrospect, but along the way my path felt very random. Even going into journalism in the first place feels a lot like an accident (I applied to NYU after a good friend told me about the program, and just happened to get a full scholarship to go). But I do think I would have eventually come across data visualization, especially now that it’s become so much more mainstream. And it was probably inevitable that I was pulled towards some combination of design and writing.

And what about the future?

We’ll have to see! Luckily the intersection of journalism, technology and design is so broad that I don’t think I’ll be bored anytime soon.

Anything you’re particularly excited about?

I really like gifs that explain things.

Endless thanks to Lena for her patience with this interview! Find her on her website, or on Twitter.

[dawnajaynes32]

The Rise of and Looming Death of Flash

The Miraculous Trajectory of Adobe Flash

Two years from now, Adobe will finally stop updating and distributing the Flash Player plugin, a.k.a. Shockwave Flash. Flash will actually, finally, supposedly die. But before the nail goes into the coffin—in fact, before the nail even touches the coffin—let’s give credit where credit is due. Flash was miraculous. It enabled new possibilities on the web, helped bring video and video sharing to the internet, and most importantly, it got some people interested in designing for the web. I should know, Flash made me want to be a web designer.

Flashback

As a college student in the 1990s, being a graphic designer mostly meant creating graphics, logos, magazines, books, posters, album art, T-shirts… printed things, you get the picture. But when the internet came along, and everyone and anyone seemed to need a website, many designers were stumped since this web thing required code.

Most designers never had to code and didn’t need to since Photoshop, Illustrator, PageMaker, Freehand, and QuarkXPress did the work for us. Import elements, place objects, move them around, scale them, change their color or size, it happened easily thanks to “what you see is what you get” (WYSIWYG) software.

Print Alone…No Longer

Why learn to code? Designers, including yours truly, left the web to computer scientists, computer engineers, and software developers. They understood the matrix of letters, numbers, and symbols that made up Hypertext Markup Language (HTML). They were also much faster typists—at least compared to me. A lot of graphic designers didn’t give a shit about HTML. “Let the coders deal with coding,” we thought, “and we’ll stick to print.”

Many of us did, until we saw new opportunities for our clients who had to be on the web and it became a matter of evolve or die. Fortunately, web layout software had arrived that promised to make getting a website designed quickly and easily. GoLive CyberStudio (later acquired by Adobe), Adobe PageMill, and HoTMetaL helped you design for the web since the software’s backend rendered the necessary HTML; imagine Microsoft Word, but instead of a page with images and text that you can print, it makes a page you can put on the web. (Fun fact, older versions of Word let you convert documents to HTML for the web, and today’s versions still let you do this.)

But even with those early web design tools, designers had mixed feelings. The typography! Oh, the horrors. One of my university professors was disgusted by the fact that you couldn’t layout a site with Univers or any other specialty font that a company might have as part of their corporate identity program.

And on top of the expensive software we already needed, if we did not want to learn coding we would have to pay for another tool? Art supplies, computer peripherals, digital camera equipment, etc., etc., it was already expensive and especially for those on a budget.

On the other hand, design educator Ken Hiebert, author of Graphic Design Sources and Graphic Design Processes, found software such as GoLive to be a real blessing. The story from Hiebert’s perspective: we had been using PostScript fonts on a daily basis as well as PostScript laser printers, but that didn’t require us to read and write PostScript. GoLive handled HTML in a similar way: design what you needed, let it spit out the code, and upload it when you’re ready, without really needing to know HTML. If you wanted to get on the web without knowing code, GoLive or PageMill were a small price to pay. And if you were a visual thinker, those programs were right up your alley.

One Plugin, One Solution (Almost)

By the late 90s, and despite the advances in web design, things were limited. Sure, software could take care of most of the work, but you still needed to have some basic knowledge of HTML to make sure everything was properly composed. On top of that, Cascading Style Sheets (CSS) were on the horizon, and that was a whole new thing you would have to learn to make your site operable, as well as nicely designed.

To complicate matters, Browser Wars as well as download/upload speeds caused other challenges. But again, designers didn’t care. We wanted a better web, an experience that was designed rather than coded. Better typography!! Sound! Animation too! Why not? Well, for starters, it wasn’t easy to achieve. Even Macromedia’s Dreamweaver a program that promised a better web—Sites with Life was the catchphrase—had failed in our eyes.

But everything changed with Flash, first released as FutureSplash Animator, later acquired by Macromedia. Text, vector graphics, and images could be composed in a layout and uploaded to the web, with many if not all of the nuances designers had become accustomed to. For instance, if you wanted to use a particular font on the web, especially as a headline or button, you needed to make that text into a bitmap image that often looked quite awful. Today text as image is frowned upon, but back then it was the bee’s knees—even Apple did it.

Flash to Make Them Dance

When Macromedia acquired FutureSplash and released it as Macromedia Flash, a world of possibilities arrived. Yes, you had to pay for the Flash software to make a Flash site, but it was worth it. For starters, with tools like Director or Flash you could—as Ze Frank famously did—teach people how to dance properly. Visually, new possibilities emerged. Artists such as Joshua Davis (praystation), GMUNK, and James Paterson (presstube) pushed the web into new and unforeseen directions. Paterson himself began using Flash in 1997, and was in high school at the time. He got involved with Marty Spellerberg in the 1990s contributing to a website called Halfempty.com, which is still running.

For designer, developer, and curator Marty Spellerberg, Flash appealed to a certain audience, a creative one. “Flash was the internet that we thought we were going to get. Make things look more like Tron and less like documents. HTML and CSS websites were simpler then, but Flash was for visual artists, it was something you could relate to. With Flash, code was secondary, and the elements were visual.”

Lynda Weinman’s early website in 1998, captured here with the Wayback Machine, included all kinds of educational assets for the eager digital designer.

If you wanted to make your own digital art or online experiment or website, you could quickly and easily learn Flash by dabbling with it on weekends, reading a how-to book, taking a class or two or three, or you could learn with Lynda Weinman tutorials. I got my hands on every asset I could find, including sites like The Remedi Project that showcased stellar Flash work. I started making my own “amazing” Flash work, focusing on websites and corporate identity. When pitching to one prospective client decades ago, I showed them how I could animate their logo (using Flash, of course), and I was hired on the spot.

Flash Giveth, Flash Taketh Away

In the early 2000s, design was undergoing an identity crisis (isn’t it always?). Maybe long-ish animated logos weren’t needed? Maybe Flash is not the best way to go for the whole site? You could design your layout and slice it up using Macromedia Fireworks, with or without Flash content. Add all the gizmos and animation and sound and Flash headers you want after the fact. Or maybe not? The sky was the limit and many designers and clients wanted no limits.

“I want my website and I want it my way!” Creating unique, thought-provoking artistic experiments with Flash was one thing, but using Flash to make an eccentric website for users who wanted and/or needed something simple, well, that seemed unfair for users. But it happened. Approaching web design like a five-year-old, some would put every and any tasty ingredient into a bowl, mix it around, and offer it up as a super, special, flashy meal. Look what I made! So many flavors, so many textures! So much to look at and discover!! On the flip side, some designers thought it was their duty to challenge conventions, going so far as to “hide buttons” so the user had to work to find them. You might be thinking, “Seriously?!” Yes. True story.

In 2001 Apple didn’t require the Flash plugin to use their site, but they did use bitmap images to render type. Captured via the Wayback Machine.

As designers and non-designers packed more and more effects into their web content using Flash—or chose to hide web content in a wicked game of catch me if you can—sites became complicated and/or unusable. Some clients wanted the complex, but larger sites with more content meant longer load times, meaning longer wait times, especially if you had an animated logo that required 2-200 seconds of your patience before you even got to the actual website.

These website prologues, a.k.a. Flash Intros, became the norm. In order to let a site fully load in the background, a shortish introduction, animation, video, or game would keep users busy and/or entertained—actually, it really just pissed people off. But in time a solution would come in the form of a button. Users who didn’t want to wait and watch an intro could jump ahead by clicking Skip Intro. Saved by a button! Yes, there was a time.

Two captures from Macromedia’s old 2001 website, via the Wayback Machine, note the Flash requirement posted.

On the plus side, Flash brought people from all walks of life to web design, but we had been led astray by glamour, wanting to create one shiny thing after another. Too much of too much, and it had to stop. We saw what the web could be, and what it shouldn’t be. Coming to our senses, many designers and non-designers realized that the medium didn’t matter as much as the content and the people, a.k.a. the users. Fancy sites shouldn’t corrupt the experience, being bombastic just for the sake of effect. Don’t design for you. Don’t design for technology or because of technology. It’s all about people and as Bert Bos wrote, usability matters—a lot. It’s a principle and belief that Jakob Nielsen had been preaching long before Flash had caught on.

Usability was (and for the most part still is) less about flashy sites, and more about function. Tone things down. Keep It Simple Stupid (KISS). Books like Skip Intro: Flash Usability and Interface Design by Duncan McAlester & Michelangelo Capraro taught readers to design for users. And if that meant learning code in order to be a better designer, better artist, and a better web developer, then so be it. Some Flash users, including James Paterson, did just that. As each new version of Flash gained abilities and ultimately ActionScript, Paterson learned more and more, easing himself into coding. “It was a great way to baby-step my way into what was a scary thing for me (code in general). I feel very grateful for Flash.”

Work by James Paterson, “DAVEY JONES’ LOCKER” (2005). Designed using two Flash animations, then layered into a single After Effects composition. Paterson had become known for his Flash art and experimentation, pushing the medium in new directions.

Flash Blows Up, for Better and Worse

In 2005, Adobe acquired Macromedia and all of their products, including Flash. By that time, it seemed like everyone and anyone used Flash, even an upstart named YouTube. Trips to the zoo, cats gone wild, entertainment could reach the masses, video had evolved, and so did the internet. But design and development for the web advanced, specifically sans Flash, meaning you could do more than ever before with HTML, CSS, and JavaScript—they were lightweight, not requiring a fancy Flash plugin that might crash your browser.

Better yet, HTML, CSS, and JavaScript did not require you to purchase a piece of pricey software to get the job done, provided you were somewhat fluent with those web development platforms and had a text editor such as TextWrangler or BBEdit. In terms of web content, well, content itself became king and blogs had blown up. Content Management Systems (CMS) became the way to get on the web quickly and easily. Flash be damned!

Flash was beginning to look especially outdated and outmoded—and threatened—when Steve Jobs lambasted it, keeping it off the iPhone. To make matters worse, Flash had become a pathway for evil doers who would use it to attack your computer, as routinely reported by security experts such as Brian Krebs. As far back as 2015, Krebs removed Flash from his systems and claimed that he really didn’t miss it.

Turns out, most of us don’t miss Adobe Flash, especially if you own an iPhone, iPod, or iPad. But personally, I’ll miss Flash when it disappears completely because it changed the way we look at web design and think about the web. At the very least, Flash was the original engine that helped make YouTube work. And who does not like funny cat videos? So before we finally kick Flash to the curb, doesn’t it deserve some respect? Some credit? Who really knows? Like the opening animations and videos that Flash spawned during its glory days, we’ll have to give it some time.

The post The Rise of and Looming Death of Flash appeared first on HOW Design.

The Rise of and Looming Death of Flash syndicated post

[booksbroadwaybbc]

I know I have the potential to be great, and I choose the path of the weak every time. via /r/selfimprovement

I know I have the potential to be great, and I choose the path of the weak every time.

Im so shitty. I dont even know why im writing this. Honestly I see other people post and I wonder if this actually helps. I'm at a point where If there's even a chance it could help, I should try it. Im 29, skinny black guy. I literally weigh about 130 lbs. Live with a roommate and brother. Other brother moving here in bout a week. Im older than all of them. Somehow I've got to this point in my life dropping out of every school endeavor i ever embarked on. Dropped out of High School, got my GED got into college then dropped out of that. Was too busy smoking weed, playing fighting games...just being a fool. Never been in a serious relationship at any point in my life. My love-life is non-existent. My only working background is in grocery stores and call center. I legitimately want to just stop everything. If I have to take calls for another few months that really might be it for me. I'm at the complete end of my lane. Im not here to discuss where my thoughts have gone, but I know for certain I cant keep doing this type of work for the rest of my life...I don't think I'll last to the middle of 2019 before I quit and look for another job. Speaking of that, my last 5 years of work history is just me bouncing between jobs. I got a job at software company doing customer support, but i threw that away too. They wanted to send me to Ireland, a real chance to start over and for some reason i threw it away. I just feel inadequate as hell in comparison to my brothers (one who has graduated college, the other who is going to Lincoln Tech now). I don't have problems talking to women casually, but I dont have it in me to discuss anything romantic with a woman. I wouldn't date me. If I was a woman I wouldn't even talk to me lol, let alone date me. I see my laziness, my apathy, my lack of empathy toward other people, and I know it's' shitty. I hate it, I hate myself and I absolutely must improve. I know that I can, when I actually put my mind to something I excel.

But you know what I hate more than anything? People who look for sympathy, people who want others to feel bad for them, and worst of all people who don't fucking work. So as I make this post, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. If anything insult me, because well thats what I deserve and probably what I would do to someone else.

So since im literally at the end of my fucking rope, I've been trying to rewrite my life as hard as possible. Dedicating literally every minute of every day to improvement. Literally every --single---minute of every ---single--- day. As i write this now im at work, im doing quite a few things inbetween calls, and decided to visit this reddit because I made this account and subscribed to it a few weeks ago.

I probably sound like an idiot going into detail on this, but as embarrassing as it is I will. I made a plan for myself for the next 5 years. The plan includes my goals and ways to achieve them day by day. It also includes checkpoints every so often for me to check In and make sure im actually focusing on my goals. I need these checkpoints because in the past when I tried to do things like this I would lose focus eventually and fall into loads of weed use and alcohol abuse. My goals are listed below in no particular order:

Improve my overall Health - this multi-part goal. It includes both physical and mental health. I weigh 130 lbs pretty much on the dot. I'm not sure what my ideal weight would be (I don't know how I'd look at lets say 170 lbs for me to call that my ideal weight), but the first milestone is 150lbs. I want to hit this in 6 months, or atleast check in at that time. In terms of how I plan to do that, I've detailed a complete workout regime for me. Of course, I could go into detail on that, but the most important step, more important than working out is just eating more. The hardest part of course is always sticking to the regime, but atleast i've wrote down what I need to do. I don't know why but for some reason I just have trouble getting myself to eat. Even when i'm hungry, i'll smoke or go for a walk or go to sleep or just game - I'll do anything but eat. As of today, I'm changing that. For my mental health, I plan to read recreationally more especially when on public transit which Im on for about 2 hours a day. Why reading? I need to stay away from my phone. I spend so much time on discord, losing myself in non-stop content online through youtube or twitch or whatever. I need to get back in touch with me, and not be scared to be in my own thoughts. As a kid i use to read a lot, I was a creative kid. I think somewhere in the weed use I lost that, I want it back. After doing some research I've also started journalling. I Journal twice a day, once in the morning once at night. I try to spend 30 minutes a day total (15 minutes per night/day) writing down my thoughts from the previous day and goals for that day in the morning, and what I actually accomplished and thoughts for the day that night. After reading what I've wrote for just a few days, turns out I'm actually a very bitter person. Maybe not bitter, but definitely angry and intense. I'm also trying to meditate, but Im not really good at this. What I do is just sit down in my room, light a candle, make some tea, close my eyes and think for 10 or so minutes. Any thought that comes in I try to analyze where it came from and if it's a negative thought or stemming from a negative. Im not good at this yet honestly. Its important to know these things aren't something I want to add in only for a limited time. I think I need to do this for the rest of my life, otherwise I spiral fast. My mom has suggested therapy but, I completely refuse. If I can't fix myself I won't get fixed. I'm not scared to ask for help, but therapy is out of the question until I've done absolutely everything I can to fix myself.

Develop a Skill. Particularly I want to program. I've taught myself abit of HTML, CSS, and Javascript. Honestly I'm a complete beginner, but I've dabbled abit. I've made steps to already begin teaching myself in my routine. I've been using codeacademy pro for about a month now and I'm working on deploying my own site (my first project will just be my resume on a responsive one page site, got the idea from a friend). This comes from, I have to develop some type of skill in order to move out of Customer Service. I don't know what else to even do, though IT support comes to mind but I don't want to support anymore I want to create and develop. I'm not trying to avoid work, I just want to avoid working with the general public, and I want to avoid my job being to educate others or fix mistakes they've made. Even though I think that still happens in development, I atleast want a career that pushes me mentally and forces me to improve my skillset in order to stay relevant. Most importantly, I want a job I can be proud of. A job that I myself can be proud of. Even though Customer Service/Call Centers are important for alot of companies, I cannot stand this line of work. It is so mind numbingly tedious and repetitive, and I feel like I am wasting my life and my potential handling these minor inquiries when I know I can use my mind to accomplish and work on something much greater. I don't care how arrogant or fucked up it sounds. It's not that I think i'm better than anyone, I just KNOW that i can achieve more than this. I know that im here because of how shitty of a human i've been. I'm tired of it, I have to change it.

Learn another language. The only other language I've had real interest in is Japanese. Honestly I've been at odds even with myself on this for a long time. Is it bad that I enjoy that type of culture? I'm not trying to be a "weeb" or just say it to sound cool. I've spent time learning to recognize some hiragana/katakana just on my own in the past. I don't think it's a perfect culture or anything, but its the only one that legitimate has always interested me for as long as I can remember. So i've decided to pursue it and fuck it, if I look stupid or like a weeb or whatever I guess I just have to accept that. Again I have my own routine I've detailed for myself for learning, and I have a few people I can actually practice with. I somehow got a friend of mine a job in Japan as a english teacher...but I havent done anything myself to move toward that and I know god damn well I could.

I want to become better at interacting with people. Last few months I've lost myself in just complete self indulgence. I won't go super into detail, but I think we all know what this means. Drug use, alcohol use, long nights on the internet avoiding sleep exploring the most degenerate shit man. The worst is after nights like that you can't look people in the eye, or have normal conversations. It just eats at you knowing youre not only wasting time but spending it on something so shitty and useless. Putting time off with family/friends to stay at home and waste time, I won't do shit like this anymore. When you fall into a rut like this, or whatever it is, all your relationships around you start to crumble. Then I wonder why I havent been in a relationship, lol. Well im done and hopefully by writing this It gives me strength to not fall back into that dark place and keep me on the right path. I will show I can support my family and I can receive their support as well. It will take time to repair these relationships, but If i dont start now I feel like they really will crumble forever.

This is basically my current mental state. I don't know if this even fits this subreddit but I hope it does and if not feel free to inform me. The purpose of this is to show that, I am on the path to self improvement, its all I care about right now. Being better than I've been in the past month. Better than I was yesterday, because if I dont change my life now I'm legitimately scared what I will do or where I will be 5 years from now. If you actually read all this, thanks. If you have any thoughts, please let me know. If I sound stupid, let me know. If I sound like all im doing is crying and complaining, please inform me. You have any videos I can watch on improvement, including mentalities/mindsets/meditation please let me know. Im open to anything. It took me about 2 hours to write this in between calls. As I hit post I'm going back to coding and planning on working on my first project immediately tonight. Guess i'm saying this more for myself than anyone.

Thanks for reading.

-Just

Submitted November 10, 2018 at 11:22PM by StoicJust via reddit https://ift.tt/2z213YJ

[topicprinter]

Hello fellow r/entrepreneur friends. First, I would like to wish everyone a happy Labor Day. What I really truly hope to accomplish here today is to inspire as many people as possible. Lurker or not. Goals can really be accomplished if you set your mind to it and develop a tremendous amount of discipline. As you already know, great things won’t come easy, especially if you don’t have any kind of safety net in your life. I hope you can relate to my story somehow someway. I’m here to help and please feel free to reach out to me if you want to.Please know that I’m not here to show off. On the contrary, I want to be able to provide some advice to others and if you're going through financial problems or simply have no clue what to do or how to get started, please know that you will get thru these hard times no matter what, as long as you stay focused and disciplined. Always think about long term goals!Personal background:I’m from South America and moved to Florida when I was 14 years old with my mom. My parents divorced when I was 9 years old. I love my wife and my mom and they both have been a great inspiration to everything I’ve accomplished so far. I’m 32 years old, married and no kids yet. I'm a US citizen now and I love this country more than I could've ever imagined. It is very challenging to adjust to a new life in a new country, leaving friends and family behind, overcoming everyday obstacles, learning a new language, but the real challenge comes with finding employers that will give you a chance to shine and show what you’re capable of. So how I became an entrepreneur is simply a combination of several things that I went thru early in life. My first job was at 16, I’ve been employed by Domino’s, McDonald's, KFC, Sports Authority, Best Buy, and my last job as an employee was driving a limo (I was 25 years old at the time) for a local limo company where I currently reside. I graduated from High School at 18 and right after, took a 2-year Business Degree from my local community college. But even after graduation, I felt like that diploma wasn’t really going to help me get anywhere. I wanted to become successful quickly, so I decided to pursue my real passion which was music.Failing and getting back up:I always wanted to be able to reach a level of financial freedom so those around me wouldn’t have to worry about money. My first real shot at trying to reach that financial freedom I’d always hoped for, was when I was 20 years old when I moved to San Francisco to become a ‘famous musician’. I literally packed all my clothes and few personal items in a small trailer and drove all the way to CA. It took me 5 days to make it from FL to CA. Through Craigslist I was able to find an affordable room for rent in the Fremont/Union City area. Landed a job at Sports Authority and Best Buy. Keep in mind that this is 2007 and networking was a lot harder back then. As I mentioned earlier, my main goal was to become a successful musician which at the time I thought would help me become financial free. I set myself a 5-year deadline, and if things didn’t work out the way I wanted, I would go back to FL and start all over again. I met a lot of great people in CA, I was able to tour the US a few times, and played in venues I never thought possible. When I turned 24, I had a lot of debt, because I was putting every single penny I made back into my ‘music career’. I reached almost 20k in credit card debt and finally realized it just simply wasn’t going to happen. I did however, gained a lot of experience in how to deal with people, my emotions, and networking. I moved back to FL at 25, landed a job as a limo driver and this was the job that inspired me to become an entrepreneur. After being a limo driver for about a year or so, I thought to myself that I could do it on my own, and much better. I was able to get a loan for a 10k SUV, I had ridiculous APR on that loan because of my credit score back then. I think it was something like 18-20%. But I didn’t care, I just worried about making ends meet and taking my new company to the next level.Building my company:First I researched everything that I needed to get done before starting my own limo business. Things such as insurance, permits, etc. I educated myself as much as I could. By bringing my new business online, it would set me back 2 to 3k. Since I didn’t have that kind of cash at the time and needed to get out of debt, I decided to learn how to build a website on my own. I watched many hours of website design videos on YouTube and after 2-3 months of watching videos non-stop, I had learned the basics of Dreamweaver along with some HTML, CSS, and JavaScript. I still wasn’t the best programmer so to speak, but good enough to put a presentable website together. My first 2 years were extremely challenging. It was no easy task, but I stayed focused and disciplined. I focused on what I was really good at and that is providing great customer service, I never stopped for a second and every day I was out there looking for a way to reach out to new clients. I did everything I could think of, for example promoting my company on Groupon. Groupon put me on the map so to speak, and I was able to build a solid foundation of local clientele. I networked like no other out there. I was always paying attention to the small things my competitors took for granted. Attention to detail was an essential part of my success. I was told NO many times. Finally, I gained some momentum which led me to become friends with some of the greatest people I’ve ever met in my life. Great mentors, whom I learned a lot from. I’ve met billionaires, became friends with one of the most successful attorneys in FL, and over time I also became friends with very successful entrepreneurs that were kind enough to let me inside their ‘circle of trust’. I’ve been in the livery business for over 7 years now. It has provided me with the financial freedom I once dreamed of. I bought my first home 2 years ago and was able to get rid of all my personal debt as well. Thanks to my business, I was able to branch out and work on new things. Being able to develop 2 or more streams of income is essential to your success. I’m also a stock trader now and I’ve been doing it for the past 2 years. If it wasn’t for my limo business, becoming a stock trader would’ve been a lot more challenging because of the amount of liquid cash/capital it requires in order to get in and out of the market on a daily basis and the psychological pressure that comes along with it.Finals words of advice:Never stop learning. Educate yourself. Read books. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, The Power of Self-Discipline by Brian Tracy, and Money by Tony Robbins are among my favorite. (Audible is a great way to listen to books on your way to work, gym, etc). Never ever hesitate on saying yes to new opportunities because you never know where those will lead you to. Get rid of unnecessary bills. Stop hanging out with the wrong crowd. Surround yourself with positive people. Never judge a book by its cover. Be humble and always be grateful for all the blessings in your life.Thanks guys, and again, feel free to reach out. PM me. I’m here to help as much as possible. All best