#i like em wacky and stupid

[smittyw]

hateful little thing. loser of the century. girlboss urself into the ground and stay there

[officialarcee]

My boyfriend, who is supposedly some “discord hacking mastermind”, just deleted a visual graphics component off his hard drive on accident.

[bowandbrush]

Mikey LOVES Ratatouille, and has rewatched it to the point that all the other brothers are sick of it lol. As a kid he would always wonder why Splinter couldn't cook like Remmy.

And/or

Mikey and April like to go thrifting together to find both the most obserd, wacky stupid stuff and hidden treasures that make really neat outfits! :D

YES. YES YES YES

I had to drew ‘‘em watching for the first time

this is the first time I drew The tots (as slightly older children) and very Second time drawing April; Thank you! I needed the practice

Tumblr loves to ruin quality smh

I hope you enjoy and thanks for the ask! <3

ALSO BONUS: I recently went to the antique store and saw uranium plates (???)

[t00thpasteface]

How do you like the mash movie?

I saw the series first, my dad is a fan and we used to watch it together, and was surprised at its more serious tone. Frank Burns also struck me as also a pathetic idiot but in such a different way and also has these evil vibes. Because of you I discovered the books, got them, and im having even more shocks!

i fucking LOVED IT. i was absolutely HOWLING the entire time. my favorite bits were:

the opening where you see the dangling arms of the bodies in the choppers??? oh my god. i was like GASP. the insane blood and gore was awesome and really drove home how petty and wacky everyone's being

hawkeye's stupid tinted glasses and bucket hat <3 sooo 70s.

mulcahy getting immediately ignored the second he's introduced. mulcahy basically acting like a frightened mouse in every scene he has. he is so sad. he's really not cut out for this

frank being introduced as an aggressive bible thumper (very funny contrast to the likeable and shy priest) so him cheating on his wife with margaret, who is also married, is even funnier

radar(!!) being the one who puts the mic under frank and margaret's bed

mulcahy hearing them bang, leaning in bc he thinks it's a radio program he enjoys, and going D: when he Realizes

suicide is painless. holy shit. did you know a 14 y/o wrote the lyrics? his dad said "i needed the lyrics to be extremely stupid, and 14 year old boys are masters of stupidity." mom just learned that and has been telling all her 50-60 y/o friends. also both versions in the movie are sung beautifully (and thus hilariously)

the unbelievable fruitiness of hawkeye and trapper at all points but especially in the golf related scenes

trapper spawning the olives out of nowhere. player.placeatme olivejar 1

bring me the sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes! (dramatic zoom)

RADAR STEALING HENRY'S BLOOD??

hawkeye's entire interaction with painless just SCREAMING "chaotic bisexual who's been out the longest of anyone in the friendgroup and will forcefully yank you out of the closet the second you start questioning"

racists do not get dignified with a response. racists get shoved out of their chair

DON'T LET HIM KISS YOU HAWKEYE!

frank getting carted away in a straitjacket and never seen again

margaret hating the idea of football until the general wants it and suddenly she's a cheerleader with pigtails bc she's completely spineless. god she's so evil in this i LOVE horrible evil women. full agency at being the worst person ever <333 i support women's wrongs and i love watching chicks who are just slow-motion car crashes

"i was thinking we should have some plays, cause yknow, football teams always have plays" "actually i took the liberty of drawing about seven or eight plays for us to try ^_^" "great! ...what do these arrows mean?"

MASH EM! SMASH EM! KILL, KILL, KILL!

OH MY GOD THEY SHOT HIM!!!

hawkeye suddenly not wanting to leave once he's actually able to 🥺

end credits being read over the loudspeaker like the other movie night announcements. so. cute.

okay sorry. good movie. i had fun and cried laughing ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[nerves-nebula]

tw for like. Chronically Online nonsense & talk of csa stuff. i have fallen into a rabbithole and wanted to share it with u because it’s fucking insane and i feel like im losing my mind

so holy shit i just stumbled across the “radqueer” tag and that. i don’t. i truly have no idea how to react to whatever’s happening over there aside from complete and total bewilderment?? literally i’ve been making some serious progress in coming to terms with and trying to heal from repressed csa stuff so to open tumblr and see people saying they are ‘transtrauma’ and ‘cistrauma’ along with Everything Else in that tag. i feel like my brain has been turned to soup. maybe i am making it up maybe my dad didn’t actually molest me and im just insane idk but at least im not doing Whatever’s happening over there

i'unno about all that cuz my understanding of radqueer was that it was radical queer acceptance so they get a little wacky (said affectionately). im not really sure what that has to do with trauma but i dont wanna like, be a dick about it just cuz i don't understand it?

like i didnt understand ppl who said they were autism gender at first but i get it now. being autistic can really change how you think about gender since it's a social construct and you might just not Get Gender, to the point that it's inextricably linked with your self identity so its like. yeah your gender is autism. whatever.

i dunno what the trans or cis dichotomy has to do with trauma and my first instinct is to say hmmm that sounds.... not real.... but since i don't know what they're talking about and i don't care to learn i figure i'll just leave 'em to it. what does it matter to me so long as they're not making it my issue. i try not to commit to my knee jerk reactions of "that's stupid" cuz that's how you fall into reactionary thinking and at the end of the day it doesn't really bother me if people are fucking around doing shit i will never understand in parts of the internet i am not a part of.

anyway onto the important stuff:

if you can't tell if your dad molested you or not you've probably got *something* going on so I'd say don't freak out about if it Actually Happened or not and instead focus on attending to the emotions you have about it. to be blunt i don't really think it matters if it happened or not.

if you are "just insane" or you had a traumatic dream as a kid where your dad molested you and it effects you to this day then that's just as serious an issue to work on, at least it is to you personally. like if you had a delusion that your dad molested you that seems pretty traumatic regardless of what actually happened. idk if that makes sense?

ok i need to stop avoiding my homework. byeee.

[aestariiwilderness]

Unrelated to Anything

Let me preface this with -- I've grown up around nature. I may not be a bush ranger or anything but I know generally, to a fair extent, what I'm doing in it and what it tends to be like where I tend to be. Picture this. In the middle of the woods. It has rained a couple times already, in between long periods of absolutely effervescent sun. The branches are rustling. It's mostly sunny. There was occasional thunder off to the side, preceded by lightning, but it's mostly passed by now. There are gnats that appear seemingly out of the ground and disappear into thin air just as quickly. An oversized rabbit turns out to be two rabbits. A deer wanders past. Looks pregnant but I'm neither judging nor a deer expert. There is a turkey -- several turkeys -- gobbling incessantly down in the field. The flock of chickadees which have claimed pretty much the entire surrounding area for the last two years have returned and are gearing up to harangue any human in sight who dares wander from where they've decided they should be contained. You aren't sure where the bear is but it's definitely around here somewhere going by the excrement. The wacky tunneling vole just made an appearance. There are several birds of indeterminate species that have been making a RACKET for three hours straight. There is a (goose? multiple geese??) having some kind of echolalic fit that should not be able to reach as far as it does. The ravens have been warning each other, at truly unseemly decibel levels, about the turbulent weather ALL DAY (like they aren't LIVING IN IT and fully aware ANYWAY). The pileated, not wanting to be outdone, gifted them all with a ten-hour sporadic guerilla war of repeat distinctive cries. The doves were feeling left out and decided to join the chorus; the flock of swallows is mercifully not present today but will be back (yep, found 'em sigh). They all stop for a second. You hold your breath because by now you know better than to view silence in nature as anything but very suspicious. You are right, because two seconds later, DESPITE THE SUN, the sky opens up, the thunder and lightning says "hey, just kidding, got you!" and it starts hailing a la ancient Egypt with the plagues. The not-twoheaded rabbits somehow vanish in the same moment without getting hailed on, unlike stupid humans. Five minutes later, after the narrow avoidance of a concussion, it's peaceful and sunny again. Annnnnnnd the wildlife takes this as their cue to start yammering again. My point is this: Whatever city slicker spent two seconds in a carefully maintained park once and went "ah yes, nature, so peaceful and quiet" and then proceeded to spread that idea like gospel needs their heads examined and to spend a week in the actual country. Where are my headphones, the ravens are back -- SHUT UP POE

[jangmo-othewarrior]

DMC Questions Anon here!

Before you read this next question:

I was informed that it would be a good idea for my questions to be answered with a specific tag so if people wish to block it they could. Please tag your answers to any question I send you with "dmc questions anon" and I think that should work.

If you wish to be taken off the list, ask. If somebody wishes to be placed on the list, ask. If your anon asks are off and you wish to participate, just make a post answering the question you see going around.

Remember you do not have to answer every question, so please don't feel pressured to do so.

Please also remember to take as long as you need! Do not rush yourself, this is supposed to be a fun activity and I don't want anyone to feel stressed out by trying to rush to answer questions.

Now onto the actual question:

How would you rank the 5 games in the Devil May Cry series? (By story)

Separately, if you want, how would you rank extended material? (The DMC1 Novel, The DMC3 Mangas, The Anime, The DMC2 Novel, Deadly Fortune, Before the Nightmare, and Visions of V, all of which can be found (along with other stuff) here: https://originaldmc.github.io/DivinityStatue/Downloads.html)

If you wish, how would you rank all of it together in one big list?

DMC QUESTIONS ANON!! :D

Okay, I'm gonna do everything together, but i will preface this by saying i have a lot more exposure to some things than others, thus I will have varying degrees of 'much to say'.

DMC 5

I'm definitely biased for this (it's the one that got me into the franchise) but I digress.

FAMILY THEMES BABI MY FAVORITE THING

I just adore the main cast so much u do not understand. So much hype shit happens with em too, it's great. The characters are simultaneously over the top but also very real? Like Dante is the wacky woo-hoo pizza man but also horribly in control of his emotions and how to express them.

The Vergil reveal was so obvious but I dont care. It's good. The depths given to his character through V and Urizen are VERY good.

And NERO- lord everyone in this family has trauma

Also SDT was introduced in this game I'm sorry but no piece of DMC media will be able to top this because of it.

2. DMC 3

is anyone surprised

I love the bois so much, with their stupid catchphrases and horrible family dynamics. it's so weird looking at them like

I was nighteen once. I wasn't like them but I was nighteen.

Also the THEMES once again center around family, especially with the addition of Lady and Arkum. I also love this cast SO MUCH

except arkum fuck arkum all the homies hate arkum

Literally the only reason this is lower than DMC 5 is because no Nero, Trish or Nico. That's it.

3. Visions of V

i haven't talked about him much but I would also gently hold V (and by extension Vergil)

Really I just love this manga because of how much is shown and revealed through it. Everything is really visceral and hits so hard.

Literally everything in this manga stabs u in the feels especially the final shit GOOD LORD

but it really is tied with #4 because it can't really stand by itself? It needs DMC 5 to be whole, in a way.

4. DMC 4

I really wanted to put this above VoV but my DMC 5 bias shown through in the end IM SORRY

also yeah Sanctus as a villian is dogshit, i agree

and some characters REALLY needed more screen time (see: Credo, Angus, KYRIE) but also this game has the Shakespeare scene so....

also I just love Nero and his teen angst can u blame me

But GOD did Kyrie need more screentime

5. Before the Nightmare

Wow the DMC 5 bias strikes again, huh.

IDK man I just love the prequel shit. Like, Nico and Nero meeting is so fucking funny

Also Lucia makes an appearance for the first time since DMC 2 so thats cool

It also expanded the lore on how devil arms work through Balrog which I am SO thankful for.

Also Roc Goldstein exists now and everyone should know about one of the ONLY GOOD DADS in DMC history

Really the only other one I give my full respect to is Sparda, and he died when his kids were like, six. (Dante and Vergil r getting there tho, give em time.)

6. The Anime

Look Patty is the only reason this is so high I love her and if u look at my previous posts u can tell I love her and Dante's father daughter relationship u can pry it out of my cold dead hands

Also the lore with Sparda's apprentices, demon smoners being a thing, and the introduction to Morrison is very nice.

But also Lady was WAY off the mark almost the entire time, and the plot with Patty only really took center stage towards the end so :(

ALSO THEY DIDNT EVEN SHOW DEVIL TRIGGER IN FULL I WILL NEVER FORGIVE CAPCOM FOR THIS INJUSTICE

capcom if u put Patty in more shit I will forgive you (maybe)

7. DMC 1 novel

This novel is weird because it was written before almost all of the other shit so Canon often either ignored it or bent over backwards to avoid it until the DMC 5 era

But I like it. All of the new characters r very good and I love them all.

Grues death STILL hits me in the feels so hard.

Dante has lost so many parental figures ya'll

One of the only reasons it's so low is because of Gilver, the fuck

He made NO fucking sense for the longest time until the timeline rewrite and the retcon that he's a Vergil clone.

That fits his character so much more bur looking at him as Vergil makes no fucking sense. Everything about his character contradicts what we know about Vergil, even back with only DMC 3 as a reference.

Despite those issues, i am very happy we are seeing some rep for this book in the games and other media. U do not understand the screech I let out when Grue's daughters were shown years later.

8. DMC 1

is this sacrilegious?

Yeah the gameplay is good and it was a hallmark of its time but also Dante is as stale as cardboard here I'm sorry

Like his plot is the most uniform and overdone revenge plot I have ever seen and his relationship with Trish....

it's funky in this game, let me tell u. Thank whatever higher power exists that they leaned more towards siblings in later installments because I would be pulling my hair out otherwise.

But the quips r also really good and all of the Nelo Angelo stuff is my favorite part of the plot, so I guess that evens out?

This game was a very good launching point for the rest of the series except u know what

Also fuck mundus all the homies hate mundus he sucks

9. Deadly Fortune

Uhhh yeah it's just.... DMC 4 again with some things changed?

Honestly the reason this is so low is because of my preferred way of absorbing story is through video games than manga.

It's okay. Not trash or anything. It's just alright

10. DMC 3 Mangas

They're ... fine? I guess.

Like the first meeting between the twins in YEARS is very good, but also the manga is unfinished and all...

So I'll just leave it at that.

11. DMC 2 Novel

Gonna be honest I've never read this one.

So I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt

12. DMC 2

Yeah remember when I said Dante was cardboard in DMC 1? Yeah now he's silent, emotionless cardboard.

the villian is bad, the location is okay i guess, really the only saving grace for this games story is the concepts it introduces

Demon civil wars? Artificial demons created by people? Those are cool concepts! So cool that one was reused in a much better game, but I digress.

Honestly the story is probably one of the least sacrilege parts of DMC 2, and it still isn't the worst piece of DMC media based on story. That goes to our surprise contender....

13. DMC: Devil May Cry

DMC questions anon did NOT ask for this, but I'm putting it here so that everyone understands that this games story and characters are SO BAD that I'm putting UNDERNEATH DMC 2

But what can I say that hasn't been already stated?

Vergil is so far out of character he's basically an OC and his turn around at the end makes no fucking sense

Donte is an asshole who has functionally abandoned what made Dante likeable in ANY GAME

The plot itself is the most rehashed 'the government is evil and we must resist it' plot EVER

Even the new shit they added for this game doesn't even fucking work well.

Having demons that look like angels be the antagonists is much more interesting that just having angels and having them do NOTHING

Kat is literally the only thing that I don't have a super negative opinion on because she was NEW and I hadn't watched them fuck up a character I love. They just made a mediocre one at best

Needless to say, I utterly despise the plot of this game with my entire being.

Thank you for the question, DMC Questions Anon! I'm sorry I went a bit off script, but I hope it was at least entertaining.

[obsoleteozymandias]

Hey there! I hope you're not too busy (and if you are absolutely do not stress) but I would like to request a tf2 matchup! I'm 5'4", female-presenting, and queer. Half Italian/Scottish, half Canadian. Brown hair, hazel eyes, and a smattering of freckles. I grew up with scoliosis and, as a result, underwent severe back surgery 2 years ago. I'm doing well now! But the operation did leave me with a massive surgical scar, as well as nerve damage combined with previous chronic pain. As a result, I'm fascinated by the human body but only as a hobby. In fact, I'm a dual major in English and Education and have always been heavily rooted in academia. I hope to one day become an English professor. While I am a freelance writer, I am also working on two books: a collection of essays as well as a poetry collection. I'm also learning (or rather, trying to learn) a handful of languages: Italian, Latin, and am doing my best to maintain my Spanish. I'm a huge cinematography nerd, I'm almost always listening to music, and I have too many books for my own good. I also play lacrosse as a midfielder/attacker in my free time. I am, however, INCREDIBLY clumsy and am incredibly prone to hand wounds. In terms of personality, I'd like to think I'm outgoing. I'm rather blunt but I'm frequently cracking a joke in class or am holding some ridiculous exposition about something entirely inconsequential (why recipes that say "use 12oz of spaghetti" are stupid, Kirk Drift phenomena, Richard Powers' novel Galatea 2.2, etc. Very inconsequential things). One thing I am certain of, however, is that I'm quick to pick a fight if I feel someone is in the wrong/wronging someone else. Again, thanks a whole bunch! I hope I provided enough information, although knowing myself, I likely provided too much. Have a stellar day!

You can never give me enough information anon. I NEED that shit. 

== Team Fortress 2 ==>

I match you up with…

Scout (Jeremy ???)

First off, Scout likes ‘em smart. He himself is an absolute dunce, but when he meets you he’s instantly taken with your intelligence. 

When you say a big word that he doesn’t understand? He finds that incredibly hot. 

I also would like to think he’d have you read your poetry and essays to him. He may not always understand what you’re talking about, but you have a loyal listener and advocate in him. 

Scout would also be completely in love with how athletic you are. He already finds your intelligence intimidating, but when he sees you play lacrosse? Then he’s really in deep. He likes how versatile you are - you’re both an intellectual and an athlete, and he never thought someone could do both at the same time before.

You try to teach him some of the basics of the game, and he’s a pretty good practice partner. The two of you spend hours tossing a ball back and forth. 

He likes that he can have someone to go on adventures with, too. He’s pretty energetic and extroverted, so knowing that you’re of a similar disposition encourages him to seek out weird and wacky things for the two of you to do together. 

Most of all, I feel that the two of you are kindred spirits, especially when it comes to your tendency to get in fights. Scout wasn’t always fighting for the right thing, but he never hesitated to stand up for people he cares for. Knowing that you wouldn't hesitate to do the same makes you perfect in his eyes. 

He knows that you have his back, and he has yours. 

The two of you are perfect for one another, and you’d be pressed to find someone who adores you more than Scout does. 

[cats-coffee-castiel]

Day #3: Strangers

For the @deancaskiss summer drabble challenge!

3 - Strangers

(Takes place s7, honey!Cas era)

Meg doesn’t fear much. She’s been on this bitch of an earth longer than most: seen Hell, worshipped Satan, worked at a mall cafeteria pretzel shop. There aren’t a lot of horrors left for her to sneer at. At a certain point you’ve seen enough shit that things stop surprising you. Once you stop being surprised, it’s damn hard to be scared.

So, no, she’s not afraid when Castiel, the torture-crazed angel that’s somehow fallen under her care, does weird crap like grow extra eyes on his neck while he sleeps. She’s not unnerved when he looks at her with those gorgeous, Mariana Trench eyes and blown-out pupils and asks: “Were you lonely as a little girl, Meg?” The closest he gets on the average day to scaring her is when he gets lost trying to find the bathroom because she’ll be damned if she’s mopping up angel piss. That shit’s probably radioactive.

Castiel scares her exactly once.

Another nurse – new or cocksure or stupid or all three – had been futzing with the meds. Meg guards everything that touches the angel with a bulldog’s ferocity. He’s hers. Her patient, her millstone, her angel. No one fucking else’s! The other nurses know better. Not this Betty Come Lately.

Anyway, she’d done something with the pills. Wrong dose, wrong thing, something. Poor dumb crazy Clarence – he’s so off his fucking rocker. So trusting, so soft-eyed, mild as a newborn lamb. He’ll put anything in his mouth. That’s one of the reasons she's got to watch him so close.

Of course he takes the botched meds. Doesn't notice any difference. He just smiles and lifts his tongue demurely and asks, “May I have some more orange juice, please?” By the time Meg had realized the mistake it was too late.

Not too late for that nurse who’d dared to fuck with her boy, of course. No, Meg had taken the liberty of sending her one-way to the Mongolian steppes to think about her crimes. But too late for Castiel.

Meg goes into his room for turndown. By then the stuff has had the chance to get riddled through his bloodstream. He’s tucked up into a fetal ball on his bed, which isn’t much out of the ordinary. She starts to greet him with an: “Evenin’, Clarence” but doesn’t make it past the second syllable.

Castiel whips around, his eyes enormous, glowing neon at the edges. It looks like his eyes are stuffed with radioactive tears.

“No!” the word erupts from his mouth. “No! NO! Demon! Demon! Get away! GET AWAY!”

Fear and panic electrocutes his body and he hurls himself from the bed, cramming into a corner. Meg stares at him.

“Clarence, chill out. It’s me,” she says, voice drawled and steady.

He only shakes his head feverishly, folding himself tighter against the wall as though hoping to be absorbed by the concrete.

“No, no, no, no. Please. Please. No,” he moans. Tears stream freely now to streak his face in shining rivulets, his hair plastered to his head with sweat. His teeth clatter, he’s shaking so hard.

Meg draws herself still, the way you’d approach a wounded animal. It’s difficult. She’s surprised to find her borrowed body rebelling. Her stomach curdles and her skin itches, rejecting the sight of this once glorious angel of the lord huddled in a weeping wad in the corner of a madhouse cell.

“Hey. Hey. Cla – Cas. Castiel. It’s me, okay? It’s Meg. Remember? We’re buddies,” she coos, disgusted at the tender lilt in her voice.

The maddened flare of his eyes softens a hair but no more.

“No. No. You’re a demon. You’re the enemy. I would never.”

Meg clamps her jaw tight, shocked at how his words prod at a newly tender spot in her chest. She keeps on.

“Yeah, well, we live in a wacky world anymore. Angels and demons are amigos these days. You and me? We got history.” And then, disgruntled: “You like bees, okay? You think they fly in meaningful ways or whatever. And you like diet Coke but NOT Pepsi. And you like board games with lots of chance in ‘em because that way everybody can win.”

Castiel lifts his head from the miserable folding of his limbs. He squints.

“…Yes.”

“See? I know you. Because you know me. Because we’re…” She sucks her tongue. “We’re friends, okay?”

The unknowable machine of his mind is turning, slowly. He breathes and thinks and loosens his limbs until a few words slip with great effort from his lips:

“Okay. Meg. Okay.”

Two hours later the drugs wear off and he apologizes for his outburst with his red-rimmed eyes glued to the floor. Meg hopes that lugnut Sam appreciates this. She hopes he chokes on the guilt of what he’s given to this angel of theirs – of hers! He’s not some used-up battery to be discarded here with her to look after as an afterthought while they go about their saving the world business.

Then again, sometimes she hopes they never come back at all. Just her and flyboy against the world. That’s not a horrible notion either.

[peasthedumb]

In case you couldn’t tell, I’m stupid.

Anyway continuing from that post about the daydream plot, imma tell you the daydream I’ve currently got going (it’s definitely not passive killermare ship-)

(Hey guys, me from the end of this post is just writing this here, I didn’t mean for this post to be so long but I got carried away-)

Basically killer wakes up in past dreamtale and Dream and Nightmare are staring at him because you know- he just- appeared, and he has that snapped arm. He freaks out a little cause he sees dream but then he pieces together that dream looks younger and the other guy fits the description of nightmare from the past so he’s like, “wait, if you’re dream and nightmare, you still have the tree??” And they’re like “uh..yeah?” And he’s like “you’re not gonna believe this but I think I’ve accidentally gone back in time “ and he then explains the entire future like how goopy nightmare is his boss and how dream is his enemy and also how he himself has murdered countless people-

Dream just is like ‘oooo new friend with wacky stories ’ and nightmares like ‘wtf’ but anyway they let killer stay with them. Anyway next day dream goes off to play with the villagers, and nightmare is getting a little pissy that killer refuses to go to the village to get his literal Z shaped snapped arm checked out so nightmare pretty much says “neither of us want to go into the village but you need to, so we’ll both go” then proceeds to drag killer (who is very much amused by ‘little boss’) to whatever medical place the village has. Killer immediately notices people glaring at nightmare and gets automatically pissed. Anyway he gets his arm bandaged up and they’re walking back to the tree, nightmare is getting a little upset cause all the people around em are giving him death stares or obviously talking about him so he walks a little behind killer cause he doesn’t want him to see him upset. Killer was walking then looked back to see nightmare had been stopped by a bunch of villagers who were of course bullying him- so Killer gets so pissed it’s lucky he didn’t stab anyone and then the rest of the way back to the tree he walks with nightmare right in front of him and he has his head plonked on top of nightmares. Anyway the rest of the days go by pretty chill, on one day Dream managed to convince them both to play tree tag. Just tag, but in a tree. Both the bros found it easy- meanwhile killer needed help just to get on the first branches of the tree-

At one point during this, Dream accidentally snapped a branch nightmare was holding onto and noot fell, but killer caught him. Cue a very embarrassed nightmare trying to style it out and killer dying inside from how adorable ‘little boss’ is, and Dream is just laughing-

Then they noticed a little glitching, Killer and nightmare were discussing what would happen if they accidentally get teleported back to the future.

Next day they get teleported back to the future- future nightmare proceeds to try kill them, Future dream proceeds to save them then cry about past nightmare, Past dream is just ‘oh wow, tall me’ and past nightmare is just like ‘oh wow I’ve never seen dream cry before’

Anyway skipping a bunch of boring irrelevant stuff (aka killer getting kicked out of omega timeline- ) Future dream has taken them all to stay with blue in Underswap while he goes to ask ink what to do. Killer decided to go with Stretch to their equivalent of grillbys, nightmare was socially awkward so just followed killer, meanwhile Blue and past dream become absolute besties. Killer and nightmare get back to blues house, blue and dream leaves to go play tree tag, past nightmare and killer are just sitting by each other when past nightmare gets tired and falls asleep on Killers shoulder and this is as far as I’ve gotten into the daydream, as well as it also being the first time killer realises he likes past nightmare-

[kaijuworldorder]

Gadzooki + Konky Donk: The Empire Magazine review

Oh shit I was supposed to post this weeks ago and forgot, oops. Anyway, having seen Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire a second time and solidified my opinion of it, yeah it's pretty good! Major glow-up from the previous entry. It's not perfect and is no less stupid than its predecessor, but it's the kind of dumb movie that I like, one that doesn't go out of its way to insult my intelligence or annoy me. The things that worked about Godzilla vs. Kong are here only way more, and the things that sucked are mostly not here. There's just enough substance that my adult self is happy, and all the mindless wild spectacle that makes kWo Junior cheer and want to bash action figures together. Adam Wingard said in an interview that his aim was to make a modern-day Toho Champion Festival movie, and I think he succeeded. I'm no longer nearly as worried about the future of the MonsterVerse as I was. 4 stars, check it out if you haven't yet.

There's the short version. Under the cut, I'll get into specifics of what I liked and what I didn't. If you're still wanting to see GxK and somehow haven't yet, I recommend doing so before reading on, because I spoil a lot of the movie here.

WHAT I LIKED

Big-time Inhumanoids vibes. The tone, the “journey into a subterranean world to stop evil monsters from taking over Earth” plot, Skar King being kinda like Metlar personality-wise and living in a horrible lava hell, the wacky pseudoscience and power armor (well, just a gauntlet but you get the picture), the gruesome violence…I half-expected the end credits to sound like this. GxK is the closest I think we will ever get to a big-budget theatrical Inhumanoids motion picture, unless a miracle happens and Hasbro decides to give a shit again and buys back the rights. For those who aren't familiar with Inhumanoids: get familiar with it, you’ll thank me later.

Rebecca Hall's new hairstyle. Yeah.

Bernie no longer sucks. Way less grating and unfunny, doesn't parrot fascist talking points every goddamned second, and the sense of wonder he shows upon seeing the Hollow Earth for the first time really won me over.

Jia. One of the previous movie’s strongest aspects in my opinion, particularly her dynamic with Kong, and that holds true in this picture as well. She gets a good deal more to do, shows off more range, and her whole emotional arc in this hits just right for me. Feeling alone even though you’re not, feeling like you don’t fit in anywhere, thinking there must be something wrong with you but you can’t put it into words…these are things I can relate to all too well. And I won’t lie, I choked up when she chose to stay with Andrews at the end.

Unfridging the Iwi. The previous film’s most egregious, unforgivable misstep has been walked back, and I couldn’t be happier. It’s also good to see the Iwi having a more active role in the story, instead of basically being window dressing like in Kong: Skull Island, which as much as I love that movie was kind of a problem. It helps that the Hollow Earth Iwi are just extremely cool. Love the crystal spears, the gravity pyramid and all their other Sufficiently Advanced tech. They’re like if Seatopia weren’t horrible assholes, or if the Nilai Kanai were in a better movie. I like 'em!

Dentist! A thing I love about the MonsterVerse is how it comes up with creative stuff involving kaiju that no other movie has ever really thought to do (e.g. Godzilla flashing Chellen-kov LIGHT from his spines as a threat display). I also like that it shows how the world has changed in response to the emergence of Godzilla and the others—how culture, the economy, politics, and general day-to-day life have shaped themselves around these creatures. Trapper exemplifies both of these things really well. I doubt I would ever have come up with the idea of a kaiju veterinarian, let alone written a scene showing how a dental procedure on a 300-foot ape would work, but I'm so grateful for that level of worldbuilding. He’s also just a goofy weird guy and I like him.

Golden Earring "Twilight Zone" needle drop. One of my favorite songs of all time is in this movie and I know it's kinda stupid to pop for things like that, but goddammit I loved it.

Kong’s arc. There’s just something really satisfying about finally seeing a King Kong who isn’t the last of his kind. Plus he gets a Trendmasters accessory robo-glove gimmick, which is just stupid enough that I'm into it.

Monster rasslin'. I do wish the fight scenes had more weight and scale to them, but goddamn, they're just so much fun and visually engaging. I can't dislike a movie where Godzilla does a vertical suplex.

Sucko. I love this horrible little ugly-cute weirdo/giant ape version of Rock Howard, and not just because “hehe funni mokney” or the bit where Kong uses him as a blunt object to clobber those other assholes. I got genuinely invested in him and Kong bonding, as he realizes that barely anyone in the Skar King’s domain ever showed him genuine kindness before. He is good and can stay.

The Skar King. Fantastic love-to-hate-him scumbag villain, chock-full of personality. You really want to see Kong and Godzilla kick this guy’s ass, and his cruelty and tyranny getting paid back in full at the end is so satisfying. The only thing that really sucks about him is his uncreative name. Like come on, “Hanuman” was RIGHT THERE, especially since the Whipslash can totally stand in for a tail.

Skar King’s soldiers. I love these Lost City of Zinj-ass motherfuckers. They're nasty and fun and I want action figures of them yesterday, so hey uh, Playmates, maybe get on that? Not like you'd have to spend a ton of money either, just reuse the Ferocious Kong and Skar King body molds and make a couple new heads, splash some red paint on em and voila, instant gorilla warfare. That one balding ape with the fucked-up eye who Sucko kicks off the pyramid to his death might require some new tooling, but nothing major.

Shimo. It's nice to have an antagonist monster who isn't evil, and is still alive at the end of the picture. We don't often get reptilian monsters not named Godzilla that are babyfaces, and ice powers are rare in Toho kaiju circles. She's just a breath of fresh air, with a simple but effective design and a genuine emotional hook; I really felt bad for her when the Skar King was bossing her around and basically torturing her, and the joy she feels at her freedom from his control transcends onto me, the viewer.

Mothra is so fucking back. She makes her presence felt, she doesn't die this time, and she gets a little more to do here than in King of the Monsters, which I appreciate. I still say she ought to have a solo spinoff movie; she's Strong and Cool™ enough to stand on her own, and there's so much more you can do with her than just being Godzilla's conscience and bestest pal.

Tiamat. It was nice to see her in motion finally instead of just being relegated to tie-in comics that the movies ignore 99.9% of the time. Shame we’re never gonna see her again.

WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE

Junkie XL's score. Soulless and unmemorable hackery, just like his work on Godzilla vs. Kong. The Skar King motif sounds like he started to compose something and then just gave up. He also has a Jimmy Hart version of "Mothra's Song" to accompany the previous movie's Jimmy Hart Godzilla theme, and it's just as lame. Bring back McCreary or Desplat, please and thank ya.

AVP-wi. As much as I like the Hollow Earth Iwi, I’m a little annoyed that the Iwi are now apparently the only ancient monster-worshiping culture there has ever been. It feels dumbed down, and limits what future stories in this setting will be able to do.

Godzilla Evolved. Boy oh boy do I have a lot to say about this, none of it good. Godzilla's new look is way too busy and overdesigned with all these spiky greebles all over him that make him look more like a Monster Hunter boss than the King of the Monsters, and his proportions physically hurt me to look at. Where did all the internal organs in his torso go to make his waist that slim? What the fuck is up with his arms? Why are there dorsal spines growing out of his elbows and forearms? It just doesn't look right. I get that they're trying to evoke the Godzilla 2000 design with the giant pink spines and slimmer body proportions and the spikier and slightly greener skin (it's even got the same feet) but it just isn't done that well, and besides, if I wanted to see that design, I'd watch that movie. It’s just fucking up the cohesion of the Legendary Godzilla design and eroding its visual identity even more, dragging it further and further in directions it wasn’t meant to go in a cynical capitalistic move to sell new toys. I said it in 2019 and I'll say it again: if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Moreover, it's 100% cosmetic and doesn't actually affect the movie at all in any meaningful way, it's just Dragon Ball-style "new color = stronger" power creep. We keep being told how much more powerful Godzilla is now, but we're not shown any evidence that there's a significant difference. It doesn't feel like there's anything Evolved Godzilla does that regular Godzilla couldn't or hasn't before. He doesn't act any different or display new abilities. His new thagomizer and Batmanesque arm spines? Never uses 'em, they're just more surface greebles to clutter up the design. Why make changes like that if you're not gonna do anything with them? Hell, the only new trick Godzilla shows off in this, the classic blue Nuclear Pulse, is something he uses before he evolves! And then he never does it again after that! Even the atomic breath color change is meaningless. We're told it's stronger than before, but again, we never actually see that; it doesn’t seem to do any more damage to monsters or buildings than the old one did. Sure, it burns away Shimo's ice storm at the end, but Godziller burned a tunnel all the way through the fucking Earth with the regular blue breath in the last movie, so it doesn't really feel like something he needed a new form to be able to do. I don't believe for one second that Godzilla Evolved was necessary; there's not enough real difference between it and Original Flavor Godzilla to justify its existence. I realize that's probably unfair of me to say since I don't know if or how much anything that would've helped illustrate the difference better may have been part of the movie before but got cut for time, but to me at least, the effect on the finished film is that Most Powered-Up New Godzilla® just feels like a palette swap in a video game, and that's not great. Maybe instead, oh I dunno, you could have Godzilla have a rough time and just barely win against Scylla in Rome instead of wasting her in seconds, Final Wars-style? Maybe have a little flashback to the ancient war of Godzilla vs. Hanuman & 700 Big Gorilla, like show him barely surviving that, so we get an idea of what he's up against? Then when he powers up, we can buy that he's stronger now, like a sense of progression or something. Instead, what we get is basically a Hong Kong martial arts flick if it showed the hero doing a training montage and then beating all the bad guys, but didn't show any of why he needed to train in the first place, e.g. the bad guys kicking his ass. It's a payoff with no setup. I assume this is probably a side effect of Godzilla in New Empire being what immature people with bad opinions claim he was in Godzilla (2014)—a guest star in his own movie—so there might not have been a way to avoid this problem without significantly altering the pacing, but like…could they have at least fucking tried?

[realhankmccoy]

so let's picture that um, camille had lost

and we instead had an ANTI-PORN AMERICA

uh, would i even notice the difference?

not very fucking much i'll tell ya that much i don't watch a lot of visual porn. I'd imagine some of it would have still been probably accessible in the underground too

which might have made it more exciting even isn't this bitch always arguing something these days about how too much FLESH IS BEING EXPOSED EVERYWHERE IT HAS TAKEN THE SIZZEL OUT OF SEX

well camille,

one way to put the sizzle back into sex would be if the anti-porn feminists had had their way a bit more and naked felsh and porn and onlyfans eveywhere on social media hadn't been normalised

isn't that so american tho?

I WANT MORE PORN STOP THESE MONSTERS - camille

followed by, 20 years later

THERES TOO MUCH NAKED FLESH ITS SO BORING NOW PUT ON SOME DAMN CLOTHES - camille

jesus fucking christ did Goldilocks Paglia in that 20 year interim between shifting modes of discontent ever get the bowl of porridge exactly what she wanted?

of course not

she's likely what is known as a MALCONTENT

i have also been told i'm a malcontent by my friend Susan and quite possibly that's the case

i mean look at me in 20 years

20 years ago i was miserable because life wasn't all mohawks and gothic otherwoldliness and video game fantasy always wanting to be in other worlds

now i'm miserable because nobody cares enough about human beings while still always wanting to be in other worlds

although to be fair, i'm actually synergistic and want life to be all mohawks (wearing big ones gave me a headache tho) and gothic fantasy and all sorts of fantasy PLUS caring about human beings and wanting to be in other worlds simultaneously and they're not mutually exclusive

whereas i guess you could say camille wants, what would she want -- sounds way more mutually exclusive aka stupid to me -- nobody ever bitching about porn but also everyone on social media covering up and putting on a bunch of clothes?

i guess camille wasn't ready for so much of america to get their inner porn star on, as they did

anyhow the point of this post is

i just think she was often most passionately fighting the wrong battles perhaps, the wrong targets, if she really wanted to

DO GOOD

in the world rather than try to be the loudest most dominating feminist (which she never probably accomplished, right, nobody cares about this crazy lesbian compared to all sorts of other feminist icons)

i dunno, i mean just think of the good she could have done to stop Fox News in its infancy

rather than vying for an opportunity to show up on it once it was in duncecap Tucker Carlson mode

but Camille, never having fought in a war, stupidly just thinking 'well freedom everywhere' this bitch would have no clue what to do if she suddenly found herself in the midst of Germany after Hitler's Elected

in which case screaming at your softspoken local hippie feminist setting up an activism booth on the weekend

isn't really gonna be the most effective means of uh

solving what are known as things like Nazis things like

BIGGER ISSUES

jesse is right, america doesn't need to toughen up it needs to toughen down some assholes just aren't capable of realising that and camille is one of em

is the united states so precious to her that it must be prevented from 'falling'

it's not that precious to me

a faggoty socialist deep state running the joint and evening out the wealth and replacing materialism with environmentalism and wacky new ideas sound like a great change of pace frankly

[thesicklycowboy]

Recently I have discovered great joy in sliding into the comments or replies of "not to be the devils advocate" "actual white racism is real-" and similar dumbass bullshit ideal holding white folks just to call them a cracker. Or make white oriented stupid ass disses. It always takes the reddit mansplainer centrists off guard.

Told one I didnt believe a culture whose unwilling to use more than one take or spice at a time day to day seriously. And I dont condone them having rights. He was fuckin frothing.

Told a different one I didnt believe in white people. As they were born dark and just lightened over time as babies. So theyre just a fuck up genetically. And will pull a whole fake conspiracy theory out my ass just to baffle them and make them wonder if its legit. Great times.

Best part is Im a mayo drinker myself. But they never ask. They get too focused on themselves and start claiming I am cishetphobic/white racist/misandrist etc. when in reality Im a white birom asexual transman who when he spots a mf actin like a dumbass cracker ill tell them as much. Fantastic shit.

Best if you mix improved absurd "anti white" takes with actual facts to make them have no leg to stand on. This is also best done to those asshole who were already given real arguments. But obv think theyre too alpha brain and wont hear anyone out. So this is perfect for them

If they get to say wild heinous shit a out others then I get to say wild shit about us. I will in fact spread rumours that white people dont have sex. They just mitosis that shit. Just to piss em off. Like my guy. I know I sound wacky but alteast i dont sound like a racist piece if shit like them. (Bonus if delirious due to fever like me for two weeks off and on.)

Sometimes outtrolling a troll or bigot is best you can do. Especially if they can be tricked into telling themselves on accident and then you report and exorcise their asses

[a-tale-never-told]

A Complict Man.

Man... What an odd and bizarre experience that must've been for you. I mean, I always assumed that most of Nanami-San's classmates were a bit eccentric, judging by her descriptions of them. but I had absolutely zero idea as to how insane most of 'em are. Must be hard having to deal with all of that, I assume?

Oh, don't even get me started, dude. Most of the time, It's just usually throughout the entire day, somethin' absolutely batshit happens to occur while I'm at my dorms, working on whatever spiced-up gadgets I can assemble in my free time. It's so freakin' irritating and annoying to put up with!

You and me both. I honestly think I wouldn't be able to handle that overwhelming amount of anxiety and pressure to deal with everything all at once. I'd would've just given up and called it an honest day, if I'm being truthful with you. And I'd thought Class 76th was the more eccentric one of the bunch!

Nope. They're absolutely sane, compared to the rest of us. At least they didn't have people who speak nonstop gibberish or always blabber about some demonic crap! Makes me think that I'm one of the more level-headed, actually normal guys in the academy if I'm being serious.

Hope's Peak isn't a stranger to recruiting some weird, erratic, and downright uncanny people a lot of the time. As long as you're talented and you pay the required amount of money, it doesn't matter what kind of people are attending this school.

Sounds pretty stupid to me, considering that we've had people with incredibly shady talents attending this school before, do I even need to mention Ted Chikatilo, Ultimate PyroTechnician? I get it's his talent, but the guy's a literal arsonist. He's been itching for a chance to literally set the whole academy on fire, and yet he's still attending as a senior in the Main Course.

Guy's a deranged, wacky, psycho, there's no doubt about it. He can't even stare at a smoking plate of takoyaki without having some sort of creepy orgaism about the wonderful joys of flames. Gives me the fuckin' creeps everytime I'd look at him.

Since we're on the topic of discussing about Hope's Peak, there is something that I'm kinda curious about. Mind answering that for me?

Huh? S-Sure, I'd be willing to answer that for you. So, what's the question you wanna ask? Is something wrong? Did anybody hurt you on the way here? Did you suffer an incident on the speedway? Those highways are filled with a lot of traffic these days, y'know?

Nothing like that, but I appreciate the concern. I just had an epiphany since last week, and I was wondering if you can clear up any doubts I'd might have while explaining what I'm gonna say. Is that okay with you?

I don't mind much, bro. Just...Tell me what's on your mind. Surely, it can't be that much of a weird question, right? There's gotta be a reason for why you're wanting to discuss this in private. Otherwise, why would you be just telling me this, all of a sudden?

You've got a sharp mind, Souda. It's actually pretty impressive of how you're able to tell what my intentions are before I even said anything. Guess they don't call you the Ultimate Mechanic for nothing. But I think I should probably explain what I'm here for.

About a couple months ago, there was an incident at the Old School Building on February 12th .The official testimony stated that at 5:03pm, the body of Taro Kurosaki, The Ultimate Actor was found severely bruised at the gymnasium , with blood spilling out from the right side of his forehead, while his throat had laceration marks around his neck, a clear sign that he'd been strangled around the cerebral hypoxia.

Cerebral-what? The hell are you mumbling about?

Let me finish. Cerebral hypoxia is a neurotic condition which is when you body doesn't have enough blood getting to your brain a lot. Strangely, the body didn't possess any kind of damage to the ligature mark , which is a pressure point on the neck, nor were there any external damages done to the cardioid arteries, which would've had a more likely chance of being damaged as a result of the attempt.

However, the hyloid bone, aka the jaw bone, was one of the key functions of the neck which suffered serious injuries. Upon inspecting further, they found knife-like marks sketched near the areas of the lower jaw and the larnyx, aka voice box, where the bone could've suffer more damage had it been aimed right near the upper end of the jaw.

If that knife went a further inch upwards and pierced through the jaw as the killer intended, Taro possibly would've ended up with severe swallowing problems. Hell, he might've been murdered that afternoon if It hadn't been for somebody intervening at the last moment, which both confused and shocked the killer and forced him to alter his plans, leaving Taro barely conscious, but alive.

As for the ugly gash of blood dripping out from his forehead, It appears as if something solid had directly pummel him with a sheer amount of force and brute strength that It indirectly knocked him out , which caused him to suffer a bit of memory loss in regards to the entire incident. Judging from how the equipment located at the gym is prepared, I can assume that the culprit needed something durable yet strong enough in order to knock Taro out, so that explains where he received the gash from.

The main problem with this is that the murder weapon wasn't identified during the investigation, as the culprit made sure to polish any form of gym equipment he would've used to bash Taro's head in before the police arrived. But the investigators forgot one important amount of evidence that they'd left out: The weight of the object that hit Taro was equivalent to that of a medium sized hammer.

But instead of a hammer, it was a dumbbell. Wanna know how I managed to know that it was a dumbbell? Tsumiki-San found It inside one of the storage garages, where they store away all of the gymnasium equipment. She reported It to me once she was finished inspecting the contents of the storage closet and how exactly the dumbbell was used and in what position It was used to cave his skull.

Y-You mean she was working with you to solve the murder this entire time?! And I didn't know?!

She's been working with me to investigate the attempted murder case this entire time. While we were chatting and discussing with each other about space exploration and mechanics, Tsumiki-San was at Hope's Peak looking for any signs of proof about how the murder occurred and In what manner It played out. And the entirety of that info about the autopsy, the methods of strangulation and neck damage? That was all her doing.

But I think you've been expecting me to sum up everything into one final conclusion, In order to wrap this confusing, complicated, mess for good. So I'll tell you: As I was investigating, I thought that it was pretty ridiculous that all of this could've been pulled off by a lone culprit. He had to bring some kind of an accomplice with him in order to organize all of this, because it's clear he couldn't've been clever enough to do all of this in a short amount of time.

Not only would he had to somehow prepare a kidnapping attempt on Taro from the auditorium and drag him all the way to the gymnasium, but he also would've needed to gain access into even unlocking the storage room containing the dumbbells. I thought he was disguising himself as one of the faculty members for a brief moment, but then it dawned on me "How was the killer able to unlock the storage room containing all the equipment?".

I know, right? Somehow, this shouldn't be possible to even happen, considering that storage rooms usually need some kind of key to unlock it, because it's so secured. Well, turns out that I eventually found the key that the culprit , and guess whose name I found on the key, Souda-San!

*After finishing that sentence, Hajime proceeds to take out a small black key within his right jean pocket. Inscribed on the front of the key, depicted with bold text and white, are the initials of Kazuichi Souda, which spell out the words " K. Souda"*

That's... No... It's... Impossible...

Oh really? I'd find that incredibly difficult to believe, Souda-San! No matter how much you wanna deny any involvement with this case, it's becoming rather clear that you were complicit in the attempted murder of Taro Kurosaki! That handwriting is clearly YOURS, Souda! Or aren't you gonna say that it isn't your handwriting?

Stop trying to deny that you weren't involved in the entire investigation, because it's obvious that you're complicit in this case , no matter what angle you wanna view it from. So? Admit the truth, Souda-San! What motivated you to work with Taro's attempted killer and why?

[coconut-cluster]

me: write a story. you haven’t written a story, an actual, prose story in a month. write an actual goddang story for the love of god

also me, thinking of a new plot without writing a single word of it down: ohoho but what if, hear me out, WHAT IF, i did not 

[thirillia]

Since I’m currently rewatching SDC in the English dub, here are some bits, with or without context, that made me smirk the second time around with more grasp on the language and that are mostly just ... bizarrely wacky. (Sometimes I’m switching between languages just for... science)

(Here is the DiU version)

• *Dio caressing his naked torso* “JONATHAN JOESTAR’S BODY!”

• “Oh I get it now” *tosses painting into a tree*

• “Soooo... while Jojo is taking off his pants...”

• “No one can just deflect the Emerald Splash!” (A classic)

• “This green, stripy thing looks like a shiny melon.”

• not dialogue, but that one shot of the spoon with the “menacing” dancing around it

• “Non non non non non!”

• “Quit your bitchin’ old man.”

• *about flesh buds* “Now we can all be BUDDIES!”

• “Tell ‘em Avdol!” *thumbs down*

• “Let’s figure out what our strategy will be when Soul Sacrifice [Devo] attacks.” *Polnareff, bleeding all over, clearly coming from a fight* “You’re kidding, right?”

• “You vile little cockroach dick!”

• “Oh yes... I do love coconuts.”

• “Have wu wost wur sense of wumour? :’(((“

• “Wait a minute.... this isn’t Kakyoin!” (It took for the imposters face to melt until he figured that out.)

• “Gaze upon my handsome face with ENVY!”

• “I was sunbathing by the pool.” “With your school uniform?” “Yes, why not?”

• “Is this your kid?” “No.” “Then shut up.”

• “Do you understannnnnnnd?”

• “ORA!” “What do you mean ‘Ora’?”

• “Time to power-up with some crustATIANS!”

• “Licklicklicklicklicklick Hey look Jojo! Flamingos in flight!”

(honestly, the whole Yellow Temperance episode is a train wreck)

• “Oh crap. Somebody has already stolen my wallet.”

• “It better be something amazing. Something gorgeous and sophisticated that suits a frenchman such as moi.” “Which means it doesn’t matter. He’ll eat anything.”

• “That piece of shit’s corpse is two or three thousand meters that way if you wanna take a look.” “OKAY I WILL!”

• “Shit, Jesus, Mary and Joseph!” (A quote by Joseph)

• again, not a quote, but Joseph throwing car keys and them getting stuck in Pol’s hair

• “Not bad Kakyoin. Got a question for ya: You like SUMO?!” *one risky rescue later* “Yeah I like sumo.”

• “Holy SHIT we’ve got ZOmbies!”

• *sigh* “Of course he’s taking a shit.”

• *with enthusiasm* “HE’S SUFFOCATING THAT BITCH!”

• “You were licking what, again?”

• “You can’t touch me. I’m DAN of STEEL.” (Steely Dan’s localised name makes me wheeze)

• “How am I feeling YOUR knuckles cracking in MY PROSTHETIC HAND?”

• “I was about to explain my powers when you hit me!”

• “Are you trying to kill your own grandfather?” “This is Jotaro we’re talking about. He might be.”

• “You’re a rather sturdy bridge, aren’t’cha?”

• “Go ahead and stab me then.” (Ugh. mood.)

• “You’re forbidden from making stupid camel jokes!”

• two identical rocks in the desert

• “It wasn’t a dream about stands. A stand was in my dream!” “That’s what I said. You were having a dream about stands.”

• “Baby...? STAND?!?!”

• “HoLY SHITbricks.”

• “Lali-HOE” (It’s not written that way... but it sounds like that)

• “Now it’s time for your punishment, baby.”

• “I REALLY don’t care that you’re a baby. I’ll snap your neck like a twig.”

• *high pitched* “Ithinkthat’sthecruelestthingyou’veeverdoneto meeee”

• *Joseph having just lost his hand once again* “Can you help me out, Jotaro?” “Do it yourself.”

• “Your underwear is showing.” “YEAH NICE!”

• “That damn tongue agaaaiiin!”

• “It’s been quite the adventure. We’ve gone inside a brain and even inside our dreams. Oh right. You don’t remember that.”

• “It’s a HELICOPTER!” “Thanks for the update, Captain Obvious.”

• “Sorry Polnareff, I’d like to keep my hair.” *hair flip*

• *Iggy, a literal dog, eating gum* “The least he could do is take the wrapping off.”

• “I’mgonnaneedaCHIROPRACTOR!”

• “You can just use your Emerald Splash and call it a day, can’t you?” “Yes, but I don’t want to.”

• “UGH yes. Sleep, while WE fight to surVIVE!”

• “Tiiiiime..TO DIE!”

• “coooooOOOLA?!”

• “Yow. You know, yow. Actually, I was pointing out that there was a ... cyow over there!”

• “Waaait a second... is that a nasty old suckerrr?”

• “That’s the last time I go anywhere with him.”

• “So you wipe your ass... with SAND?!”

• “I think I’ll pull a Polnareff and wait till we get back to the hotel.”

• Avdol being completely and utterly DONE by the time they arrive in Egypt “I don’t deserve this.” You’re right. You don’t. I’m sorry you have to put up with those morons.

• “Polnareff, keep your guard up” “Have you forgotten who you’re talking to?”

(My favourite thing about this one is that Polnareff enunciates this in his favour, as if he has not been the sole target of half of the Stand attacks they face)

• “What do you mean by ‘evil eyes’? My non-evil parents gave me those baby blues!”

• “This hurts like a BIIIIITCH!”

• “Here’s a fun idea: Let’s turn YOU into a fetus!”

• “Hm. Someone falling from a window covered in blood. You don’t see that everyday.”

• “Thing is, I’m something of a GAMbling maaaan!”

• “Do you have any idea what surface tension is, Barbie?”

• “Go aheat, Mr. Jostrrrr.”

• Jotaro’s eyebrow game being so intense that it gives people panic attacks

• “Stick your fingers all the way up Polnareff’s nose and then.. we’ll WIN!”

• *doing exactly that* “HELL YEAH!”

• “LOOK where my tongue is pointing!”

• “Need me to stick my fingers up somethin’? I will!”

• “I’ve gotta HAUL AAAAASSSS!!!”

• *in terror* “My watch is FAST! :’((“

• “What are ya STUPID?!” (Iggy’s English voice gives me life)

• “This creep’s a FUCKING KILLING MACHINE!”

(it kills me that Iggy is the one allowed to say “fuck” in the dub, if I heard it right)

• “First I loose my leg and now some demon bird wants me flattened into frozen dinner!”

• “In other words, we beat the shit out of Dio.”

• “Would you care to... wet your whistle?”

• “You’re about as helpful as a cramp in a relay race!”

• “The hell did you do to his arm?!”

• “Serect yr cur”

• *gasp* “He’s going for a turbo start!”

• “One doesn’t simply get those skills by playing videos games!”

• “I still have more SPEED than YOU D’ARBY!”

• “Why are you sitting down? We should be kicking Geppetto’s ass!”

• “OH! That’s a Baseball!”

• “Da first pitch!”

• “Jotaro! Pitch the BALL!”

• “I am a video game genius. I can’t lose. I am a video game GENIUS. I CAN’T LOSE!”

• “Well of course I did, ma’boy, I can read you like. A. Book.”

• “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! .... YES!”

• *terrified* “Are you gonna do the ‘Ora Ora’ thing?”

• “Well, I sincerely hope that for your sake, your next victim into the void will be one of the Joestars and not my boudoir.”

• “His name: Billie Jean! His fate: Instant defeat!”

• “Come at me, you demented pinball!”

• “Waddaya know? The answer ended up being option 3: Life’s a bitch!”

• the guy Suzie films on the streets has Bakugou’s English va I cannot mishear that

• “I gotta hand it to him, Dio’s got some pretty nice curtains.”

• Kakyoin: reasonable metaphor for the immense power Dio omits. Joseph: “It felt like somebody shoving an icicle up my ass!”

• “There is no need to kill a helpless senator..?” “WRONG.”

• “He even dodged the concentrated Splash?” (Honey...)

• “Woman. How about you make yourself useful and fetch my leg?”

• “Nervous yet, sweetheart?”

• “I mean he turned my favourite uniform into Swiss cheese....” (he sounds so genuinely sad)

• “You...-bastard.... it’s-not ..over-yet!” *immediately falls unconscious*

• *Dio bleeding from everywhere and flying through the air like a ragdoll* “Once again, my genius has TRIUMPHED over you!”

• you know, they really tried with the “Oras” and the “Mudas” and I respect them for that, but they didn’t dare touch the WRYYYY. It’s just an “AAARRGH” but that’s okay

• “I’M GOING TO ROLL ALL OVER YOU!” doesn’t have the same refine as ROOOAAAD-O-ROLLA DA! but it works...

• “I don’t got any kindness for your sorry, undead ass.”

• “I hear a PULSE?” “My GOD! Brian activity too!”