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#i like my stuff. it's very cool very sick
strawbslvr · 2 days
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How shifting finds us at the right time! + Me before and after shifting.
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TW!!!! Mention of su!c!de, family issues, depression, fucked up mental health! And lots of yapping!
@a-fish-learningtowalk
Let’s go back all the way to 2022. At the start of the year I found out about subliminals, so basically I was scrolling through YouTube and there was this video that popped up every time I refreshed my home page. It was something like “Glow up in a day” ,the thumbnail was a pretty girl and the video was like 1 minute and something long so I was like “why are they capping, glow up in a day and the literal video is 1 minute long??! What a sick joke” but out of curiosity I clicked it and then I was welcomed with MUSIC and then I was like “hah! I knew they were capping, this is just music!” But I went to the comment section and there were literally people saying
“Omg this is a masterpiece! My mom came to my room and told me how pretty I look”
Then someone was also like “this literally gave me results in a week.
Edit: A GIRL TOLD ME IN SCHOOL HOW PRETTY I LOOK!!!”
Those were the comments that I still remember cause they confused me the most. After that I was just like ???tf? But when I went to the description I saw a term “sub” few times and then there was used the term “subliminal” so I just assumed that the term sub was just short for subliminal.
I went and searched what the fuck did I just see aka I just searched what is subliminal. There was this woman in a video that explained it and at first i obviously was like “what the fuck? This is so cool and too good to be true” cause babe wdym I can listen to an audio that can change my appearance and all of that stuff.
Well that’s how I just viewed it to be which isn’t exactly the case.
I listened to some subs for the rest of the night but I was just so disappointed when I woke up the next day and saw no results and just immediately guessed that this was just plain cap. And after that I stopped listening to subliminal but the craziest part was like I totally forgot they existed like after that. (I will tell more later!)
Summer 2022
At this time I got into my k-pop phase I was constantly daydreaming of my group and how I wanted it to be, literally imagining scenarios throughout the day and I literally wrote in Pinterest “K-pop idol scenarios”💀 I was deadass.
Then in one scroll I found a bunch of scenarios from TikTok, (they were just screenshotted and put into Pinterest.) it was like “scenarios for your K-pop Dr” at first I was like tf is a Dr? But I just decided to ignore it and move on and just read the scenarios cause they were good but that Dr term continued to pop in every picture I saw and then I truly got curious. To which resulted in me searching what is a Dr? Google said it’s a short for desired reality, and I just assumed sum stupid shit.
Anyways 2022 came to an end. And I TOTALLY forgot about subliminals and K-pop idol scenarios and tf is a Dr. like I’m not joking I totally forgot those existed.
2023 start.
The year I turned 18, yippeee!! So the start of the year was somewhat ok, few months later I started getting problems with my parents. Arguments with my parents, especially dad increased like A LOT. My parents started to get mad at some stupid stuff, their temper was just like shit. School started pressuring and at that period I had A LOT of exams (I still do but 👀) I didn’t have time for myself and I also got sick a lot. And few months passed in this environment and at some point I just admitted that I feel anxious, stressed, suffocated and depressed. Then I got told that my aunt is suffering from this sickness and she needs to do surgery but they had financial issues and the surgery got postponed a lot due to the money missing and that didn’t help my aunt’s health at all. and bro feeling shitty isn’t a surprise at this point. At some stage I decided if this is the life I’m going to live, I don’t want to live at all. I was very su!c!dal, and I attempted like two times but luckily didn’t do it.
2023 summer
One subliminal popped into my YouTube page again, it was something like “goddess like beauty, confidence and a better self concept” thing I’m not sure and then I was like “oh right! These things exist!” And I just listened to it for fun and surprisingly I felt better in few days. And those were few of the best days in the last 6 months of my life. I started actively listening to subliminals and actively affirming. I’m talking about every morning and every night before I go to sleep at least for 30 minutes. And then dududuudud
I found a subliminal about reality shifting and then I again was like “wait? This is that reality traveling thing, how can I forget this?” And I actually asked myself why didn’t I try it before? The summer my journey was honestly mostly jokes and fun, didn’t take it seriously and just did it for the excitement it gave me. But about 2023 fall I actively started scripting and took the journey a bit more seriously than before.
2024 fall. Now.
I still got a lot to improve and a mindset to work on. But I’m just happy of where I am now. I found a reason to live for and like a dark tunnel where at the end you find the light. Shifting brought me hope and genuine peace knowing something like this exists. My aunt did the surgery and she is healing little by little but at least she can practice her normal day life,she still got some checks here and there but nothing compared to what she was in before. I seriously stopped listening to anti shifter since they are just trying to demotivate y’all and me too. If I haven’t found out about shifting I don’t think I would still be here. Shifting seriously finds us at the time we need it the most!
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keeps-ache · 1 year
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WAIT. my art so cool actually
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kagoutiss · 8 days
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green beetle black beetle
#star wars#the original trilogy#boba fett#darth vader#hi. sorry for star war jumpscare. genuinely#i feel like ive kinda been on an art hiatus lately due to health stuff#i got diagnosed with a parathyroid disease recently (wahoo) so now i know why i have been feeling so bad! need more tests though#anyway. in the mean time most of the entertainment my brain can handle has been like. youtube clip compilations of shows and movies#not even the actual shows or movies. literally just sections of them on youtube#i wish i was joking#the only reason i know what happens in succession is because i have watched it in disjointed order in youtube compilations. not joking#anyway so ive learned a lot more about star wars than i ever. thought i would#mostly just the original trilogy and prequels. some of the old comics & books are interesting too#(sick to my stomach) i like darth vader he has like the same personality as ganondorf except he had no good reason for doing anything#when vader/anakin does literally anything weird or unacceptable it like. makes me laugh so hard its like jerma when he sees a car accident#boba fett’s costume design has been rotating in my head a lot too it’s very good#he’s very colorful and like. matte/unpolished compared to vader and it makes them a cool duo visually#those 2 are my favorites. vader why is the space cowboy the only person aside from sidious or tarkin who is allowed to get mad at you#sidious is my 3rd favorite. he sucks so bad as like a person that you just. you have no expectations of him except just being evil#so its just really funny like everything he does is horrible and he’s so happy all the time like good for him#i’m making it sound like ive never seen star wars before. i have i just never really cared about it until i got an endocrine disorder lmao#but yeah idk art may continue to be slow while im figuring out treatment stuff#if anyone reading this also has or has had hyperparathyroidism im wishing the strength & radiance of 1000 beautiful horses upon you
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I'm sick so I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense, but I've been thinking about the nature of myths recently as I've been exploring hellenic polytheism.
For context: I'm ex-Mormon. I was raised in the church and, because of that, was taught biblical literalism but in, like, a more subtle way than most? I was raised believing that Adam & Eve and Noah's Ark, etc., were literally true, but that the story of Job specifically was not; I also always knew evolution and the Big Bang to be correct, despite there being a verse in the Doctrine & Covenants (a Mormon-specific religious book) where God apparently told Joseph Smith that the world is 6,000 years old- a passage I didn't know existed until my senior year of high school. I didn't realize I had believed in biblical literalism until I'd left the church, actually.
Now that I'm aware of it, it's a mindset I'm actively trying to combat while I explore Hellenic polytheism. It's definitely been a task to separate the nature of the Gods from their myths, as brutal as they often are. And it's something I've noticed within the community, too, which I think is interesting. It makes sense: Christianity, at least, has had a chokehold on much of the world for a long time, and so many of us have experienced literalism as our first interaction with any sort of holy text (though, of course, Greek myths as a whole aren't that) alongside our first experience with divinity as a wrathful God whose flaws are waved away, or ignored, or twisted into positive attributes. This also means that I'm trying to re-approach several deities with an open mind (Zeus, Hera, and Ares in particular, but many of them to some extent) while also trying to un-condition myself. I was already in the process of doing this, of course, but trying to figure out how to interact with a completely different pantheon has made that especially clear.
It extends to things like prayer and offerings, too. Prayers were very formulaic growing up, even though most of the time there wasn't a strict script to follow. There was always something you ask as part of the prayer, even if it's just 'please help me do better tomorrow' (alongside giving thanks, of course), so trying to craft a prayer without adding *everything* I'm used to including in makes it feel incomplete and, therefore, disrespectful. And daily prayer is something I'm resistant to because of prior experiences with it. I don't want to offend any of the gods by asking for something or asking for too much, especially so early on, and there's always a promised offering the few times I *have* asked. Add worries about exact obedience on top of that and it's proving to be a difficult thing to untangle. And I know that the gods are difficult to offend, figuring out how to do this takes trial & error and that's okay, it'll get better the more I do it, etc., etc.; this is more an issue with my own overthinking than anything else (hooray for ✨ mental health issues ✨). I'm not really asking for advice here, necessarily, just thinking out loud because I'm not comfortable talking to people in meat space about it yet.
#also: the whole thing about cleanliness? as someone w/ mental health issues? Rough. very rough. what counts? how individualized is it?#if i cant get my room (where my shrines are/will be) clean does that mean i cant give any offerings?#is just washing my hands and/or veiling actually okay most of the time? even when ive been struggling to shower?#when does something require a change of clothes? or do i have to do that every time i offer something at any point in the day?#including meal/drink (ex steam from tea) offerings? i dont have that many clothes besties#if im pouring out an offering to hermes on my way home from work do i have to somehow wash my hands first b/c i just got off public transit#can i pour it directly from my water bottle or do i have to keep a little separate bottle of water just for libations?#and like. i know logically the answer is 'do whatever you can and you'll figure it out' but it hasnt sunk in yet#it's always...interesting when a new layer of religious trauma tm gets discovered#also. maybe it's just the 'tism but 'just jump in!' and 'go slow at the beginning' seem contradictory to me#like. you cant do both??? i dont think??? 'just jump in' is the answer ive been getting when i do tarot so im trying to do that#also. doubts? not offending a deity??? wild concept. just. the hardest thing to wrap my head around. mormon god's ego is FRAGILE fr#hellenic pagan#helpol#hellenic polytheism#not adding exmo tags b/c i dont have a good enough handle on the community here & im too sick to deal with people being weird about this#my post#coriander says#seeing people get into the theological weeds is cool from the outside (see: that 'can spiderman do superhero stuff on the sabbath' post)#but very stressful when there's not centuries on centuries of detailed information to draw from & everyone's just trying to figure shit out#in a world that's *very* different from the one the information we *do* have was written down in#christianity cw#mormonism cw
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sluckythewizard · 1 month
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TURBO WIP ALERT
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THIS IS MEANT TO BE THE 2ND PAGE OF 4 PAGES. BUT BECAUSE A WARRIOR OF MINE HAS BROUGHT ME A SUFFECIENT SACRIFICE, YOU ALL GET TO REVEL IN THIS EARLY ACCESS. NO REBLOGS THO. HA!!!! THIS IS BETWEEN ME N U CUNTS
HOPE U ENJOY THIS THUSFAR, BUT ALSO I AM TAKING FEEDBACK. DOES IT FLOW OKAY? DOES IT LOOK GOOD? LET ME KNOW
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lucalicatteart · 1 year
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-- Poorly Constructed Enchanted Tool --
A small tool carved from a fruit tree seed. Energy to power the enchantment has seemingly run-out long ago, and the method of recharging is unknown - but, based on the appearance, it's very likely that this was once used for detecting magic. Usually, looking through the glass center would highlight areas of higher magical energy concentration present in the viewer's environment, even if they were otherwise obscured to the naked eye. While this form of enchantment itself is highly advanced, the craftsmanship of the item is far less neat or complex than what might be typically seen in similar devices. It may have been made as part of training/practice, or as a hasty replacement for a previous tool that had broken.
#written from the perspective of some fantasy traveler who checks all of the local thrift-stores and lost & found places for every#town they visit - looking for interesting items and documenting them or something#In reality - just another one of my goofy little avocado pit carvings lol. Still working on inlaying little stones in them and stuff#I don't really have the tools to make super intricate stuff but doing little plain swirly patterns is still fine enough lol.#WORKING ON NEW POLL ADVENTURE also I know I know it's been months.. I have been Busy and struck by the evils of summer#But like I mentioned in the previous one I do want to at LEAST finish the quest with the egg lol#ANYWAY.#Things like this would plausibly exist in Nanyevimi (my fantasy world) but wouldn't be very common as - like mentioned- this would be an#extremely advanced enchantment. REALLY advanced mages could sense magic around them (to varying degrees of pinpoint accuracy of location#) without even having to use any external device. But for a majority of people there's really no way to know someone is using magic near#you unless you either see visual proof or if it's strong enough to feel effects from it (since magic is kind of like radiation in that the#higher energy/more of it youre exposed to the more it damages you/can make you sick/etc.) and even then most people would just be like#'hmm why do I feel so nauseous and bad out of nowhere?' likely wouldn't directly think to link it to magic. Thus the only really reliable w#way isto just hone your senses over like 500 years as you become an expert mage - OR use enchantments like these. But a 'sense magic' encha#ntment is not as common as a just 'magic is not allowed here' enchantment. If you wanted to prevent magic from being usedin a space#it's easier to just put up a broad barrier enchantment around that space than to have some sort of Magic Sensor to pick out if it's being#done and then handle each individual case of it . etc. etc. These sort of things can have their uses (especially for people investigating#things or trying to be secretive about detecting something etc.) but are less common - especially in this form (where visuals are used. itd#be more likely to jsut have like 'piece of metal that gets warm or cool depending on magic nearby'.) ANWAY so this is why it's a notable#object. Though a majority of the realm is not very magic literate - if you were a researcher or a mage and found this at a pawn shop you'd#definitely be like 'oohhh!! :0 inch resting... ' if not you might just be like 'oh cool necklace!' lol#also love the quick 2min ''costume'' for the image of it being used. literally just 'wrap yourself in scarves from the waist up' and slap o#a wig and ears lol#on this blog I guess since it's worldbuilding related and technically art.. maybe more like crafting? I should have a crafts tag lol.. hmm
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sundial-bee-scribbles · 3 months
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youtube
hai guys :3
#my video lol#my audio lol#vocaloid cover#synthv cover#synthesizer v cover#genbu#genbu synthv#evil food eater conchita#i am forcing everyone to look at this. look at my guy ehehehhkjnjkhgmlb AFTER TWO WHOLE ASS YEARS FINALLY#i couldve probably put more effort into this but ITS BEEN IN HERE FOR 2 YEARS i wanna be done w/ it already 😭#so regardless if it kinda sucks a little bit; its wayyy better than the covers i made like ~4? years ago when i was first starting out#was the iku drawing i posted before this foreshadowing?? not necessarily but its rly funny to think abt in hindsight#also rip genbu in a dress that i was gonna draw for this originally 😔✌️ i'd really love to draw more stuff for these covers i make#but it usually never comes out the way i want it to and i figure editing some sorta visualizer like this is better#than keeping some things trapped in my files for so long purely bc my extra ass wants a cool pv. some day maybe but not now#some sick fuck unsubscribed from me after i posted this BYE BITCH i dont miss you at all. live laugh love genbu in this house /j#im not the most obnoxious genbu stan i'd say but you WILL respect him in my house i do not tolerate genbu slander i love that man your hono#yes im extremely based bc he (and eleanor) were THE very first vsynths i ever actually fucked around w/ programwise#but WHATEVER!! idc he is so dear to me i do not regret buying his full version at all (it was impulsive)#the only synth i'd actually consider myself kinda good at tuning LMAO ik people hate how he sounds and have issues w/ him but not me...#these tags are too long girl stfu. anyways tldr; look at silly thang i made w/ my silly man#i love genbu and i love songs about cannibalism <3#Youtube
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isa-ah · 7 months
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been following you since PRE bubblegum karkat days and it’s been really nice watching you grow and heal and whenever i see you on my dash and think of your growth it reminds me of my own healing journey. i find that really nice
HAHA that was AGES ago dude. my god. i cant believe youre still around, that was like, the worst of it LOLOL weve both probably come a looong way since then, yeah. life used to be abysmal but now ive got my hubby and mother in law and were moving to nola next month so theres nothing to fear =')
#we found the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood in the perfect part of the city so#we are hoping and praying. our sickass real estate agent did a walkthru yesterday and said#'its been on the market for a while so if you put in for it youll probably get it'#very exciting news theres even a patio we can screen in EASILY for our cats#right outside our bedroom door! it would be perfect for entertaining!#were finally going to make irl friends!!!!! sdkjksdjfksd#i had a couple freak friends in phoenix and like 2 cool friends but like. mostly. freaks.#so im hoping to make real actual friends this go round cause we sure as hell didnt out here in the sticks of al#yippeeeeeeee#babe is also going to get a job so i can take a break bc ive been doing coms to support us for years now and its STRESSFUL#im gunna get to go on a small vacation and kick back like#life is so good#im so excited to rest and chill#im gunna sew!! so much stuff!!!!#maybe ill even list some on here for people to buy like i just want to make so many little dudes all the time#but i dont have the time or energy to devote to that bc making patterns takes time and materials#IDK IDK TOTALLY OFF TOPIC#i dont talk about my daily life much actually its usually just specific shit so im taking the opportunity to say.#i grew up in a VERY bleak way. brother were talking moldy food bank food house rotting both my guardians so so sick#dropped out of middle school to be a fulltime caregiver lost both of them anyway#then a bunch of falling out with my family etc etc i had NOTHING going into my twenties but a FUCKTON of trauma and mistrust#and now im heading for my thirties and i am the healthiest and happiest i have ever been in my entire life#i look great i feel great i do pretty good for myself and the people around me#i love love love my friends im t4t gay married i have a cat thats like a pokemon partner. to me. its perfect#yes weve made a lot of plans that have fallen thru and were not where we thought we would be by now#but honestly? honestly? my life is really great. were broke as fuck but we get by and we love each other and thats whats UUUUUUUP#youll get there! just keep going! you have no idea what kinds of opportunities youll be offered in your life that can change everything
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I have to get this off my chest but I feel like a lot of these “is it okay to do ‘this sexual thing’ in ‘public place’?” polls are getting voted for in the sex isn’t morally evil and don’t judge people way, rather than a respecting other people around you and their boundaries and consent way.
Like some of this stuff is just basic level respect and it’s just kinda common decency to respect other people irl. Sex is fine! It’s not a bad thing at all.
But I feel like if you took away the ‘is this universally a depraved and immoral act’ versus ‘okay in real life would I actually feel a little weirded out by this’ they are very different, and irl you might react completely differently, internally or externally, versus voting no I don’t think this sexual thing is a bad thing to do.
Actually being in that scenario makes things different. Whether it’s the ethical state of the sexual thing made up person/people are doing, or how you actually might react/feel thrown unwillingly straight into the situation.
Not all, but with some of these polls, I feel like we’re forgetting the human pet guy post - on his site. If other people around you aren’t consenting to you doing something sexual in front of them then stop, you don’t need to do it, people aren’t consenting, and you’re making them be part in something sexual without it. Again this bit only applies to some of the posts I’ve seen, not all.
Just had to vent about this personally, it’s fine if you disagree I’m not here to fight lmao. This post is literally just for me. But I feel like a lot of these posts are sometimes misconstruing the moral value of the act versus the usual respect you’d show to people around you when it comes to something sexual, they may not usually be a part of, and may have no warning to beforehand.
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transmascwoman · 3 months
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i want my safe meal but we haven't had it in the house for like a week.
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orykorioart · 9 months
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Sorry I haven’t been sharing art stuff in awhile, hoping that I can go back to drawing and finish a request this weekend (and maybe start on a little comic request once I’m done with that which I’m excited about!)
In the mean time I’ll queue up some older art stuff I forgot I have in my drafts lol.
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risingsunresistance · 2 years
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if we're mutuals and i unfollow suddenly and you happen to take notice of it, please do not take it personally i still love my friends n whatnot i am just. getting very tired and need to cut down the mcyt content on my dash
and if i unfollow and refollow a couple times that is just me testing the waters jdhfj idk what i wanna do man i just have to do something for my mental health
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77ngiez-archive · 6 months
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stalker sanya is canon btw bcs i said so
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yo9urt · 10 months
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started playing ball dur's gait 3
#mine#6.5h in (i may have stayed up past my bedtime) and i am beyond impressed#not only do i get the wish fulfillment of making myself a sick ass wizard who hangs out with cool fantasy people#and does cool fantasy stuff including hitting people with magic (my dream)#but like the whole world feels like REAL also it feels FUCKING HUGE OMG THERES SO MANY AREAS#I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO GET TO AND THERES LIKE LITTLE HIDDEN ITEMS EVERYWHERE#AND LIKE SHIT GOING ON ALL THE TIME LIKE WTF THIS PLACE IS HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!#i kind of like how directionless it is like obviously theres the main story and stuff but you can really dick around#and you can kind of set your own pace and do things your way which is very enjoyable#even for me as someone who is kind of stupid and needs to be told what to do in video games#i think that aspect of it and the combat system being kind of complicated (but in a fun and challenging way imo)#is hopefully going to make me not suck at video games so hard LMAO#i did die last night i got my ass beat in the overgrown ruins chapel area on the beach...embarrassing#so i had to reset my save to immediately post-crash which was a valuable lesson#anyway i really like how it feels like every dialogue and action choice has so much gravity to it#before i click anything im always like will this make someone mad at me...#will this make someone like me...will this cause something in my vicinity to explode...etc. it's kind of heavy but in a fun way#idk i'm super charmed by it lol i'm going to play like all day maybe#my tav is a high half elf wizard (transmutation school) if anyone was wondering :3#hes a bit of a self insert lol he looks like a hotter fantasy wizard version of me#but hes also kind of a discrete guy (i say this because hes been doing more killing than i would want to)#(like when i went to the church and had to kill those guys i didnt wanna do it but i had to :( wah)#anyway.....fun game. all should play#o astarion kinda hates me too lol i need more points with him im just too nice#shart likes me and wyll likes me too i think (idk how to check approval on the steam deck lol)#i havent found the other companions i seriously have no fucking clue where they are#one of the goals for today is to go sniff them out lmao
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keeps-ache · 1 year
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one of my favorite shades of purple is brown, how fun is that?
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mothram · 9 months
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youtube
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