#i had a couple freak friends in phoenix and like 2 cool friends but like. mostly. freaks.

[isa-ah]

been following you since PRE bubblegum karkat days and it’s been really nice watching you grow and heal and whenever i see you on my dash and think of your growth it reminds me of my own healing journey. i find that really nice

HAHA that was AGES ago dude. my god. i cant believe youre still around, that was like, the worst of it LOLOL weve both probably come a looong way since then, yeah. life used to be abysmal but now ive got my hubby and mother in law and were moving to nola next month so theres nothing to fear =')

[mister-supernova]

Missed Connection

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Pairing: Hope Mikaelson x Reader 

It’s almost been a month since your encounter with the stranger you believed to be from your dreams. Without any luck of seeing her again, you were beginning to think that maybe that’s all she was; just some mere figment of your imagination that you so desperately wanted to have all the answers you needed. 

As insufferably difficult this summer was for you, you still managed to get through it. You thought it was because school wasn’t in session and that you’d be back in your element in no time once classes begin again. 

That was what you had hoped for anyways, but alas even when the halls were filled with your peers and your routine was back in place, nothing seemed to change. The mysterious void in your chest didn’t ease like you wished it would.

You couldn’t help but wonder if your friends had been feeling the same way, too. Surely there’s no chance that you could be alone in this situation, right? 

“You can’t tell me that things haven’t felt a little weird since Landon destroyed Malivore. He doesn’t even know how it happened, Lizzie.” 

The blonde Saltzman nearly whips you in the face with her hair as she abruptly turns to face you in the crowded hallway. “Y/n, we live in a world where witches, werewolves, and vampires exist. Everything in our lives is bound to have a tiny amount of weirdness.”

She made a good point and you knew that, but you also knew that this feeling was different. It had to be. 

Lizzie frowns at the disappointed look on your face and rests a comforting hand on your shoulder, “Look, the most important thing is that Malivore is gone. No more bizarre monsters coming to kill us every week. Now try to stop overthinking things and let’s get through this school year in peace.”  

Before you knew it, your conversation ended just as quickly as it started and Lizzie was on her way back to class. You hang your head with a defeated sigh, desperately searching the hallway for someone who may be just as lost as you were. Instead, you see everyone going about their first day back like normal. 

Students who were away with their families are now smiling brightly as they reunite with friends. Other groups of friends laugh at a joke another says as they pass you by and you wonder if there was someone you should be doing that with.

The clarity that you sought out today only made you more confused than ever. At this point you wished that it was still summer vacation because seeing your classmates having a great first day back had you thinking that you really were alone with your feelings.  

Maybe you just needed a day to hang out with your friends after class today. They may not share your thoughts on how odd things have felt recently, but being around them definitely helps clear your head. 

“I’m sorry, Y/n. You know Landon and I would be down to watch a movie or something, but we’re going on our official first date today.” Josie tells you, disheartened. 

After the multitude of movie dates the two of them shared throughout the summer, you’re surprised that none of those had been labeled as dates, but you weren’t going to tell her that outloud. The two of them seem to be really happy to be spending so much time together and you weren’t going to get in the middle and be the third wheel no one wants, especially on a first date. 

“No worries, Jo. I’ll ask Lizzie and MG if they’re free.” She gives you a gentle squeeze on your arm with a sympathetic smile before you go off to find her sister. 

Things didn’t seem to be going to plan here either.

“If I hadn’t already agreed to this stupid- I mean,” she grits her teeth with a forced smile, “very cool study date with MG I’d totally hang out with you. God knows I’d rather do anything else.” You knew you weren’t supposed to hear that last part, but Lizzie was always awful at lowering her voice. 

If you weren’t already feeling distraught, this definitely was the cherry on top of your depressing cake of sadness. 

Instead of showing Lizzie that, you plastered the fakest smile you could and responded with, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just… hang out downtown and get myself a milkshake at the Grill or something.” 

Plan “get your friends to distract you from the abrasive thoughts penetrating your brain” had failed, but you weren’t going to let it stop you from at least getting out of the school for a couple of hours. With everyone so busy while classes are back in session, it made you wonder what in the world you did after school before this year. 

As much as you tried hyping up how fun it was going to be hanging out downtown by yourself, it only made you feel even more bummed out. Like everything else you’ve been doing since the night Malivore was destroyed, something felt off and nothing seemed to be your remedy.

Minutes turned to hours and you ended up drinking four full glasses of cookies and cream milkshakes at the Grill, literally falling into a sugar coma at your table outside. The sun was barely setting when you got here, but then it was fully dark out when you were woken up from your sugar rush nap. 

“Jesus, Y/n. I thought you were dead or something.” You lean your head upwards to see that it was Landon who woke you from your slumber. 

“One could not be so lucky, phoenix boy.” You groggily respond, stretching out your muscles and wiping any drool from your cheeks.

Looking at your surroundings, you notice that Josie isn’t around. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be on a date?” 

There’s a pained look on Landon’s face at your question, “Yeah, about that… she, uh, she said she wasn’t feeling too good and decided to go back to the school.” 

You raise an eyebrow at him, “What, did you take her to eat sushi or something?” 

That was meant to be a joke, but the look of realization on the curly-haired boy’s face told you all you needed to know. 

“You went to a sushi place.” 

Landon quickly slides into the seat across from yours, “It’s what I suggested. W-Was I not supposed to?”  

“Jo can’t digest any sort of raw food without wanting to convulse. I learned that the hard way when I first started going to the Salvatore school,” you shiver at the memory, “Never again.” 

The phoenix begins falling into a full state of panic, “Oh my God. I didn’t know that! Wh-What am I supposed to do? What if I completely ruined everything? What if she never wants to go on another date with me again? What if-” 

Your patience was thinning very quickly, “Landon, just relax. Take a breather for a second,” you inhale, watching him do the same, and breathe out at the same time, “Go back to the school, check up on her, have a convo about getting some better communication skills and I’m sure everything will be fine.” 

Landon nods, “Okay, okay yeah. That’s good. I’ll, uh, I’ll do that,” he continues to sit across from you until you look at him expectantly, “Do I do that now?”

“For your sake, Josie’s, and especially mine, yes. Now would be great, buddy.” 

“Right, okay. Thanks, Y/n!” He scrambles out of his seat and begins to shuffle away from the Grill. 

“Go get ‘em, Tiger!” You shout with as much enthusiasm you could muster before slumping back into your chair. 

Still dazed from the sugar rush nap and exhausted from that conversation, you lean forward with your elbows on the table and begin wiping the sleep from your eyes using the palms of your hands.

“This is gonna be one hell of a year.”  

“Long day, huh?” You recognize that it’s a girl’s voice you’re hearing, but not one that was familiar to you. 

Moving your hands away from blocking your view, you look up to see the person you convinced yourself was just a figment of your imagination. The long auburn colored hair, fair-skinned, blue eyed girl from your dreams was standing right before you. For a moment, you thought that maybe you really had lost it. 

“Sorry. I just, I saw you sitting here earlier and thought you might want company.”

You’re almost positive that you were staring at her with your mouth hanging open like an absolute idiot. Just say something, dumbass!

“Mind if I join you?” She asks, gesturing towards the now empty chair that Landon left behind. 

“Yes!” 

Idiot! 

“I mean no! No, I uh, I don’t mind.” You chuckle nervously, adjusting yourself in every way possible to hide the fact that you were internally freaking out.

The girl gives you a patient smile before taking the seat in front of you, “So, party of one tonight, huh? I mean, I saw you finish talking to someone right now, but it didn’t seem you two were here together.” 

“Yeah, no. Not together at all or with anyone really,” for some reason you had to make this very clear to her, “That was just a friend of mine who’s having some lady troubles, so I decided to be a good samaritan and give him some positive advice.”

“How chivalrous of you.” Right away you could tell that she was teasing and the nerves you had seconds ago simply began to vanish. 

“Why thank you,” you smile, feeling a wave of warmth when she returns one back, “But yeah, it’s just been me, myself, and I for the night… and day… and probably for the rest of the school year if I’m honest.”

Her smile fades and she tilts her head inquisitively, “What makes you say that?” 

Oh, where to begin. 

“I’ve been asking myself that for a while now actually. Everything should feel perfect given the fact that I have these amazing friends, I go to this incredible school, I’m 100% healthy and not dying of anything that I know of,” you shrug at yourself, “I should be happy with that, but I’m not. It feels so selfish of me to say and I wish I could fix it, but I can’t. How can everything be so close to perfect, but yet there’s still something wrong?” 

The girl stares at you with such empathy and sadness in her eyes that you could swear she was holding something back. 

You continue, “Things also haven’t felt normal lately. My definition of normal anyways. For some reason everything has felt completely off, like I’m missing something. You know when you forget that there’s somewhere you’re supposed to be? Like an event and you don’t realize you’ve forgotten about it until the day of and you say to yourself, ‘oh shit, I can’t believe I forgot about this really important thing’. That’s how I’ve felt ever since summer started,” you notice her tense up slightly, but you continue, “but I can’t remember what I’m forgetting.”

At this point, you were surprised this girl didn’t think you were crazy and start running for the hills. If this were any normal stranger, you wouldn’t feel comfortable enough to overshare the thoughts you’ve been keeping secret from your close friends. For some reason, she made you feel the complete opposite. Strangely enough--given the world you live in--you felt safe with her.

“Everyone at school is making me feel like I’m the only person who feels this way. Everyone else can go back to normal. Everyone else can move on and go on dates and study dates and hang out with their friends and go to class without feeling lost and overall just be… normal.” You finally let go of the breath you had been holding in for what feels like months.

Then you start to laugh at the ridiculousness that just spewed out of your mouth, “Jesus Christ. I’m so sorry. You probably thought you were going to have an innocent ‘nice weather we’re having’ type of conversation, but instead you got a stranger dumping their whole life crisis onto you.” 

“You really don’t have to apologize. Trust me, I understand how insanely messed up life can get and how relieving it is to just vent it all out,” she gives you a reassuring nod with a genuine look of understanding that you’ve been wanting to see for months, “Even if it’s to someone who can potentially be a serial killer.” 

The both of you burst out into a fit of laughs and you swear that you’ve never felt so connected to a person you just met. It was as if your souls had met in another life and were catching up for the first time in a while. Neither of you had a name to place with your faces, but that didn’t seem matter because you already felt like you’ve known this girl for years. 

“I’ve had quite a rough couple of months myself. Not sure if I’d binge drink four cookies and cream milkshakes to numb the pain though.” 

You shrug, “Well, it’s better than the latter option that I can’t even legally purchase because I’m underage. Plus, it helps that these are the best milkshakes in town--even if they are 4 dollars a glass.” 

Now you’re hoping that your old co-worker can cover your bill since you only brought ten dollars with you tonight. Before you could reach for your wallet just to be sure, another thought crossed your mind. 

“Wait. How did you know they were cookies and cream? I know it’s a lot of milk to force inside by body, but I normally leave no trace of evidence behind. Are you a witch or something?” That last part was obviously a joke otherwise she’d be at your school by now.

The girl opens her mouth to speak, but it takes her a moment to come up with an explanation, “It was my best friend’s favorite. Yeah, we used to go out for milkshakes all the time and I guess something about you reminds me of them.” 

You smile, flattered, “Well, might I say, your best friend has amazing taste,” she purses her lips into a tightened smile and lowers her gaze, almost as is the memories of this said ‘best friend’ pained her to think about, “I’m assuming things aren’t so great with them right now?”

She sighs at the thought, “We were close for a long time. I’m actually surprised that they stayed as long as they did. I probably gave them a million reasons to bail, but they were annoyingly persistent,” she chuckles, “I’ll admit, it took me a while to settle into our friendship, but the moment I did was something I would never regret. From that point on the only thing that could separate us was death.” 

Judging by her heavy use of past tense words, you could only think the worst happened, “Did they, you know, um…?” You didn’t want to ask the full question seeing that she was clearly still hurt by the absence of this person. 

She shakes her head, “No. No, it turned out death wasn’t the only factor that was able to keep us apart. We meant a lot to each other and later realized that there was more to us than just friendship. Eventually, things started becoming serious but me being the person I am, I pushed them away and left.”

“Have you tried reaching out to them again?” You thought that there was no way two people who felt those intense feelings could completely forget about each other.

“Once, but things changed. They took one look at me and acted as if I never existed.” Maybe it was the empath in you, but it broke your heart seeing a small pool of tears building up in her eyes. You wished that you could say something to make her feel better and tell her that everything will be okay, but how could you when you don’t know her?

She quickly wipes the tears before they could fall and takes in a deep breath that you instinctively mirrored to compose yourselves. 

“I guess it’s my turn to say sorry, huh? I feel like my baggage was a little heavier than yours there,” she sniffs, huffing out a light chuckle. 

“Well, if we’re giving out medals here, you’ve got the gold. That’s for sure,” you grin, hoping to lighten up the mood.

Her laugh--that you could tell was genuine--gave you the assurance you needed. 

“I feel like I should give you a hug. I mean, if you’re cool with that,” you suggest, ready to push yourself out of your seat, “Because I could kind of use one and I’m just assuming--” 

“That would be great, yeah,” the girl nods with a relieved smile. 

“Alright, great.”

The two of you stand, moving around the table to meet each other in the middle. Her head seemed to fit perfectly against your chest as her arms pressed behind your back. All of the weight that had been piling up on your shoulders began to fall at your feet and the tension from stress that built up inside your chest began fading away. How this could happen from an interaction with a complete stranger, you had absolutely no idea. 

“Is it weird if I say this doesn’t feel weird?” You ask with the side of your head leaned against hers. 

“Well, I think things are only weird when someone makes it weird.” 

You pause for a moment, “Do you think this feels weird?”

She laughs and you know for a fact that she could hear your heart skip a beat, “No. I don’t.”

You fight the goofy grin from appearing on your face, but fail miserably, “Okay, good.” 

Part of you was afraid of what’ll happen the moment you separate. You had no idea when would be the next time you see this girl or if there was going to be a next time. This was the first day in a while when you didn’t feel lost, instead you felt that this was exactly where you needed to be. You felt normal.

Before you could actually start making things weird, you begin to pull away from her embrace, “Well, tonight I learned that I can click with a stranger within a span of ten minutes give or take, so thank you for that.”

She smiles, “Thank you, too.”

“I think it’s safe to say that we’re at the point of learning each other’s names now.” 

“Yes, because why start with those when we could just tell our whole life stories and share an intimate hug first?”

“Exactly! Actually, you know what? I think we should get married in Vegas really quick and we’ll just figure out our names during the vows section of the wedding ceremony. Whatever we come up with in the moment will just be how we refer to each other for the rest of our lives,” you joke. 

“You’re absolutely right.” Wow, a girl who can keep up with your sarcasm without thinking you’re a complete--huge emphasis on complete--idiot? She is the girl of your dreams--literally and metaphorically. 

You stared down at her in wonder, hoping to God that you’re not dreaming and that this interaction has been real, “It’s, uh, it’s Y/n by the way. My name. Y/n L/n.” 

“Hope. Hope Marshall,” she reveals and a victorious smile appears on your lips when you finally have a name to match a face. 

Your smile quickly drops when the clock tower starts going off and you realize that it’s nearly midnight, “Well, it’s been a pleasure meeting you tonight, Hope. I'm sorry to cut the rest of the evening short, but my school just got a new headmaster and unfortunately he’s a lot more strict on our curfew than our previous one. Don’t want to turn into a pumpkin, you know?” 

She chuckles, “No worries at all. It was nice meeting you, too, Y/n,” Hope smiles and you can tell that she didn’t want to leave. If you were being honest, you really didn’t want to either. 

Neither of you could find the energy to be the first person to walk away. To do that would be like trying to separate two annoyingly strong and stubborn magnets apart.

As much as you wanted to spend the whole night learning more about each other, you also didn’t want to be put in detention on the first day back at school. 

Unwillingly, you take the first step backwards without wanting to fully turn away from your newfound acquaintance, “Thanks again for the chat. I hope to see you again very soon, Marshall.”  

Hope rolls her eyes, but can’t contain a smile, “Only if you’re lucky.”

“I think I like my chances,” you wink playfully before turning your heel to make your way back to the school feeling the most energized you’ve felt in a long time.

~

apologies for the later update than usual with this series and I apologize in advance if it takes a while for part 6 to be posted. I’m in a bit of a writing funk right now and my mind is currently locked onto the Wilds soooo there may or may not be imagines for that fandom coming from me soon. anyways, happy late 2021 and here’s to hoping this year isn’t complete shit! much love y’all

taglist: @chicken-wang09​ @trikruismybitch​ @sodangtired​

[delimeful]

First time they saw Patton cuddling with Virgil? (Like y’know the energy thing maybe?) Or Virgil protecting the three of them from some other alien?

Okay, now that Making Adjustments is out in full, I’m posting all the asks that inspired me for certain parts or even just to continue writing! Thank you to everyone who sent in ideas/what they wanted to see/theories, I really appreciate it! All asks under the cut!

@ironwoman359 said: I’d be really interested to read about what the first week or two aboard the ship with all four of them was like. I’m sure it was a big adjustment for all of them, and it’d be really cool to see!

@skeletonsloverockcandy said: WINBAR prompt - Virgil’s first night on the ship, is not with Patton, and gets a nightmare. Logan finds him and Virgil has to explain his nightmare/dreams

@the-princey-pie said: Logan mentioned that Virgil would probbaly have trouble fitting through the space ship doors. Now I really want to see Vorgil stepping into their spaceship the first time/navigating it for the first few weeks.

@indigomasquerade97 said: WIBAR prompt. Virgil is Stitch from Lilo and Stitch. You know the scene I’m talking about! ;) Roman is still freaked out with the idea of having a human on board, and one night (maybe on patrol, since he is still jittery from loosing Patton and doesn’t want to loose him - or Logan - again) and he gets freaked out by the nocturnal human suddenly being in the room? IDK

Anonymous said: So. I was wondering for the WIBAR prompts, what was Virgil’s first night on the ship like? How did Roman and Logan act towards him? And is he worried that his relationship with Patton is going to change now that he’s back with his family? Sorry if this is a lot…

Anonymous said: WIBAR prompt idea: Food! Since food is often culturally connected for humans, would it be the same for our alien friends? And if they have any, from Virgil’s pov., strange food items etc. Would be interesting to see considering they are all from such different species. :D

@justanotherpurplebutterfly said: WIBAR: did Patton tell his crewmates how to interpret Virgil’s body language? Did they figure it out for themselves? Did they struggle to remember when they saw him smile or stretch (and make himself big) or something?

Anonymous said: I would love to see some V POV or adjustment period/cultural differences! (particularly L/R’s reactions to V smiling, differences in diet/hunting styles, what V considers a threat vs. what LMP consider threats… anything that highlights the deathworlder in Virg! (Space Australia is like my fav thing that came out of tumblr)) also maybe some more of L/R’s thoughts on Patton befriending a space boogieman?? I really really love this au! :)

Anonymous said: OoOOooh okay how about,, Virgil’s POV as they head back to Roman and Logan’s ship and get on, (and maybe if he doesn’t know the species Logan and Roman are he could ask? That seems the easiest way for us to learn more about the boys without it being too awkwardly shoved in) and V’s probably awkward because he doesn’t know Lo and Ro and Ro’s openly hostile and he wasn’t expecting to go along with them and idk you decide. Also :DD wibar’s not done yet!! Tysm; I’m really enjoying it!

@bishopriecke said: Okay, so I’ve got a couple prompts so I’ll send them separately in case that’s how you’d wanted them? The story is absolutely adorable and it made me think of the sleeping habits back on the ship. There’s space for Virgil, but will Pat gravitate to sleeping with him, since it was such a comfort and Virgil only gets sleepy if he snags energy during cuddles? If he’s tired/virgil’s stressing over something will he wander over to where Virgil is chilling and settle in his lap? How’s Ro&Lo react?

@bumblebeekitten said: Do any of the others attempt to learn Virgil’s language? Or maybe Virgil quietly tries to dispel some of the more hurtful rumors about ‘deathworlder humans’?

Anonymous said: What would wibar Roman and Logan do if they couldn’t find Patton? Would they assume Virgil had done something?

Anonymous said: While waiting for more WIBAR, I keep re-reading everything (Act 1, Intermission, all the world building asks). Right now, I just want to plead with Patton to go find Virgil as he needs comfort, to calmly tell Logan that I don’t blame him, and to hiss at Roman that, while he has had bad experiences and that is valid, he needs to be nicer. Granted, a reaction like that from a human fan-nut probably wouldn’t help Virgil’s case… but he needs a hug so much right now!

Anonymous said: i’m thinking there’s lots of potential for hurt/comfort with this chapter. Virgil’s obviously panicking so i reckon he’s gonna have to try and convince himself that he can trust Patton if not the others. i feel like virgil still wont trust the others but they’ll get to see that he’s not always this big, strong deathworlder and he gets scared just like them. he’s been traumatised and he cares for Patt a lot and theyll try to understand eachother better and hopefully become friends/gain some trust

Anonymous said: that is very much wishful think and a need for my boys to be happy though haha. soz, that probably wasnt very helpful for writing but thats just something i’d like to see happen but i KNOW that whatever you end up writing is gonna be fabulous (ran out of room on my last ask and couldnt even sign it, whoops)

@justanotherpurplebutterfly said: I’m mainly really curious how Roman will react. If he has even have as big of an imagination as buobba Roman then he will probably interpret Virgil’s outburst as a violent attack and try to frame him as a danger they shouldn’t keep on the ship. However if he was able to detect Virgil’s fear then this might be the first step of them growing closer. Idk which I like better, because on one hand I want them to to get along and witness wacky human things in an amicable atmosphere, but on the other hand, misunderstandings are soooo good!!!! Most of all I want Virgil to get a hug though. Poor boy deserves one. I don’t care with who it is, although I suspect it will be Patton because no way the other ones trust Virgil enough and vice versa.

@yalltookmyurlideas said: Haha wibar fears? There are,,, so many. My main fear is that Roman will misinterpret Virgil’s panic to mean he’s hiding something and not see it for the panic and fear it is.

Anonymous said: I was thinking about for WIBAR, are we going to find out more about Virgils life on Earth? Is there angst there or is it irrelevant? Also would Logan and Roman go after Virgil themselves so as not to worry Pat or would they realise this was a situation they couldn’t solve? OR does Roman think V is attacking them and goes to hurt him? Sorry long ask but I’m excited for the chapter 😅😅🥰🥰

Anonymous said: Ayyy super late gang, barely got a hour of sleep bc anxiety/nightmares so yeehaw. I guess for WIBAR, the most essential thing to consider is how you want Making Adjustments to sorta add onto its characters & how they interact. Idk that ofc, but I think the situation is going to resolve into a ‘im only human’ (the irony) kinda situation and the crew (maybe minus patton??) only /starting/ to grasp the human is a bunch of damaged goods who is lowkey more scared of them than they are of he (½)

Anonymous said: (2/2) how i see the situation going down? Depends who finds him. If it’s Pat, he could sing him clam like in the cell. If its Roman or Logan, odds are Virgil’s gonna b scared & his response will be to Fight or Freeze, as he already did the Flight option. Virgil reacting like a cornered animal would be terrifying Ro and Lo. (Also Ro and Lo going to wake up Pat for Human Help has the same vibes of a child waking up their parents to tell them they puked lmao)

@killerfangirl3 said: After where you left last chapter, I am 100% terrified Roman will find Virgil before Patton and cause real danger to everyone. After all Virgil is flooded with adrenaline right now and he barely knows how his strength affects the metal? of the ship as it is. The sudden increase in strength if he was attempting to defend himself could cause him to put a hole in the ship.

@hotchocolatehugs said: Oh! Also, would Virgil calm down if Patton found him, or would it just make him worse/more crazed? I dunno about his state of mind, but if I were in his position I would probably be acting aggressively to anyone who came in. Do aliens have hot chocolate or tea, or some equivalent drink? Because I think Virge needs a calming drink. (sorry if this is too much!)

Anonymous said: I saw your latest post and all I could think about is Virgil stuck on the appliance, really high up and close to the ceiling unseen while he sees Roman and Logan below. Maybe a bit of a language barrier while they say some words that Virgil may not no yet and jumping to conclusions and filling in the blanks in the sentences

Anonymous said: I’m afraid that In WIBAR, Roman may keep Pat from going to find and comfort Virgil and just…leave him up there

@katelynn-a-fan said: Mission impossible theme while looking for Virgil. Too short can’t see Virgil on top appliance. Mission impossible theme continues and fades into the distance. (That’s all I got)

Anonymous said: WIBAR suggestions/predictions/fears: I worry about Roman or Logan finding Virgil before Patton - Roman because I don’t think he will be understanding about how afraid Virgil is; Logan because I think that would scare Virgil more. He might break out of his flight stage into fight, and that could make them fear him more. But, while worry about this scenario, maybe it would be for the best. Maybe one or both need to find him at a low to see that he isn’t a monster, just scared.

@enby-phoenix said:

OK so wibar thoughts! I’m a little concerned that Roman will think that Virgil was genuinely trying to attack him with that chair and also probably trying to hurt Logan, and he’s gonna get upsetti. I also think that the way they figure out what’s made Virgil go all fight or flight will probably involve Logan doing the memory share thing, but it’ll take them a bit to get close enough without Virgil threatening to bite Logan’s hands off.

Also PLEASE let my boy eat a full meal and get some proper sleep!

I would also love to see Virgil curled around Patton protectively but everyone knows that it’s Patton who’s making Virgil feel safe.

Another prediction is that Logan, realizing that SOMETHING bad just happened, and knowing that all his information on humans seems to be incorrect or at least not apply to this one, will go to Patton for advice on what to do regarding Virgil’s sudden change of behavior, and how to calm him down again. Cause Patton is the resident expert on Virgil.

I also imagine that Logan might keep his note taking to himself again for a bit, until Virgil believes that he’s not the bad kind of scientist.

I love that Virgil climbed on top of the tallest thing he could find, and I imagine that if it’s above everyone else’s usual eyelines, they each walk past him multiple times while they’re worriedly searching the ship for him.

I’m mostly imagining Virgil clinging to Patton like a lifeline and the other two aliens worrying for their tiny friend but Patton knows that Virgil is just scared and sings him the “calm down baby it’s okay I’m here” hatchling soothing song until Virgil calms down a little, and then still staying with him while explanations are had. They do not come out of the small space on top of the tallest appliance and Roman doesn’t like that but he’ll deal.

Now that I’m thinking about it more, one of the best ways for Logan to gain (at least a little bit of) Virgil’s trust would be for Virgil to see his honest reaction to what the other scientists did to him. Cause based on what I know of Logan, he would be horrified. And that might help Virgil to realize that Logan ISN’T LIKE those other scientists.

Anonymous said: *gets out the defibrillator to help kickstart the creative juices* At this point Virgil is running on fumes and when the trio find him Patton tries to comfort him. But he’s too stressed and feels betrayed and there’s just too much inner turmoil for him to hold back so he finally breaks down in front of them. Perhaps it’s not Patton that manages to calm him down, but Roman who finally recognizes him as a traumatized person rather than “just an evil human” :D

@enby-phoenix said: tbh Virgil probably hisses at either Logan or Roman at some point and it makes them nervous and confused.

Anonymous said: Roman forcing Virgil down from his hiding spot. 'Blade’ to his neck and tying him to a chair. Virgil thinking that he shouldn’t have run and that they are going to be even angrier at him now, ergo more painful experiments. Begging to be put under for the cutting away and to please don’t get mad at Patton (just in case Patton was trying to be a good friend).

Anonymous said: Suggestion for WIBAR - Roman goes looking for Virgil, all ready for a confrontation. But, when he finds him, Virgil unknowingly makes some sort of gesture that means fear/terror to Roman’s people and he stops and evaluates the situation with clearer eyes. This gives Patton/Logan/both a chance to get there.

Anonymous said: Can we get somr wibar fluff/angst?

Anonymous said: I’m just waiting for WIBAR Virgil to just pass out and the panic of everyone that sees him. Or Roman threatening him or Logan goes to touch him and BAM he’s on the floor!

Anonymous said: Stuff for WIBAR: 1: who’s gonna find Virgil? 2: what’re they gonna do with him? 3: how’s he gonna react? – Options: Patton: tries to comfort him Virgil: can’t decide whether to trust or not, maybe leading to emotional outburst and sad PatPat – Logan: scared cuz danger goblin had an outburst at him. Wondering what he did wrong & how to best proceed Virgil: 'he’s gonna do tests on me’ fight or flight – Roman: 'so, if you hurt my friends imma hurt you’ Virgil: fight or flight – ½

Anonymous said: 2/2 Of course those aren’t the only options, but it was fun for me, and I hope it got creative juices flowing for you as well. I love all your writing, and I want you to know that you can take as long as you need to be proud of your work. It’s okay. And take care of yourself too! You can’t make as good of work when you aren’t feeling as good as usual

[cake-in-a-tin]

My thoughts rewatching all the Harry Potter movies back to back

forgive typos, and be warned - there's a lot...

the first two have a smaller amount of thoughts for some reason, idk why

 Philosopher’s Stone

teeny harry haha

that snake is so beautiful

no post on sundays bro

hi hagrid

how did the dursleys get off the island tho

aw harry is so teeny and innocent

ollivander’s entrance is so iconic, like i want to enter every room like that

hermione is so great already

and you are…

‘you’ve got dirt on your nose by the way, did you know?’

haha tiny malfoy

TREVOR! + neville

that death glare mcgonagall omg

oof snape really hates harry

it's leviooosa not leviosaaa

troll in the dungeon!!!

hi fluffy

ew norbert is gross to be completely honest

creepy malfoy staring at the window

malfoy being sassy wow

‘nighty night…’ whyyy filch?

oof ron are u ok

bye hermione

voldemort is kinda cute with his big eyes

harry really just killed quirrell jeez man

alas earwax

Chamber of Secrets

ah go away dobby don't be weird

yes the car with fred and george

oof bye uncle vernon haha

ah awkward let go of harry lockhart we hate u

haha ginny is iconic

rons face when the train comes omg

ron can drive? that's impressive…

ooh a voice scaryyy

hey colinnn

eat slugs - yas

let go of his arm lockhart

uh oh colin is petrified

hahaha snape annihilated lockhart wow

gosh moaning myrtle is annoying

tom riddle is such a weirdo hgh

ew spiders

lockhart is hilarious when he has lost his mind wow

yas fawkes

ew he just stuck the sword right through its head didn't he...

powerful sock…

go away lucius ur annoying

Prisoner of Azkaban

ugh aunt marge blow up already

sassy harry tm

tom is iconic

so is crookshanks tbh

the knight bus kinda sucks in the movie tho

yess lupin hi

ugh shut up trelawney

ah the best scene aka harry and draco being sassy towards each other

‘it’s killed meh!’

the other best scene: lupin, boggarts and the record player

love when they are eating sweets and just being good friends

yay marauders map - iconic fred and george

nice snowman also

my dad didn't strut and neither do i - yeah right...

yes leave hermione

trelawney stop being creepy

take that malfoy

harry third wheeling

yas remus save sirius

"old married couple" haha snape knows what's up

die peter lol

haha yes they will chop your leg off ron definitely

ugh harry stop being noble

haha yes mentioning the marauders

ew stop peter

oh no werewolf

sirius is so dramatic haha he cant stop turning into a werewolf my dude

bad idea yes ron i agree

oof fight him sirius

no sirius!

the dementorssss

no harry that's not a real patronus dude

nom eat the little soul nugget nice

ah no they're gonna kiss sirius nooo

scabbers did it ok... shut up ron

dumbledore just smacking ron's broken leg and being mysterious

and enter many time paradoxes

‘this is not normal’ hahahah wow harry

yess save buckbeak dudes

yas beautiful patronus dude

this music tho wow

au revoir sirius

I wonder how many stairs they ran up...

poor ron so confused

that bird just got squished no

don't leave lupin

please tell harry about the marauderss

i love lupin omg

ooh a firebolt thanks godfather

the ending face wow

Goblet of Fire

ooh nagini hello

yay frank you will die soon so enjoy your tea

dr who!

ah voldemort's creepy little hand tm

yes ron is covering his non existent boobs wow

hermione's so mad 4 some reason

yes cedric diggory in a tree

everyone has long hair why

isn't just any manky old boot mate

cedric amos and arthur are show offs

feet off the table!

i luv magik

wow krum is enjoying himself

Why is draco wearing a suit?

lucius is very ominous

think ur in luvvv ron

is there no winky in this? sad

harry is so awkward omg

bye hedwig find sirius even though the ministry cant

oh bonjour beauxbatons

wow so dramatic here come the durmstrang peoples

wow run filch ao athletic

ew the beauxbatons entrance is so weird and compared to the durmstrang one is kind of sexist

ow poor flitwick a fork to the hand that's gotta hurt

moody is so dramatic

dumbledore already shouting nice

why does he have so many bugssss

ah that is a creepy spider

poor neville he has to have cuppa with moody that sucks

yess fred and george back at it again

hermione ruining the vibe

HARRY POTTER DIDJA PUTCHA NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH dumbledore asked calmly

what would happen if harry was just like "nope"? would he die that would be interesting

igh rita skeeter go away ur creepy my dude

hate it when ur eyes glisten with ghosts of ur past

yas sirius in a fire

"who are u talking to?" "im vlogging ron" (how it should have gone. harry should have a youtube channel just saying)

poor harry a third wheel yet again between madame maxime and hagrid ew

wow draco in a tree, why? so many people in trees this movie

"nyaaah"

malfoy as a ferret is my favorite character

my father will hear about thissss

omg rita get outttt

fight the dragonnnn

feel like someone should have stopped the dragon after it broke free... idk *shrugs*

it would be so boring if u were watching the tournament because you can't see anything that's happening most of the time, only for the 1st task and a bit if the 3rd task.

knew u wouldnt die harry, lose a leg - or an arm -pack it in all together? nevaaaaa

god just open it harry

ron ur so awkward...

harry spitting out his drink will never not be funny to me

oh yes the gorgeous dress robes

poor ron has it tough, having to dance with mcgonagall and having ro wear those robes...

*babbling bumbling band of baboons*

the twins are hilarious in this haha

aw neville!

snape is really violent can't 2 boys discuss their love lives or lack thereof in peace

ron's jealous of viktor krum haha

love harry just being so confused and saying "spectacular" when cedric speaks to him.

given the fact harry literally told him the task cedric didn't do that much to help.

ugh no myrtle stop

harry going "do i" when neville tells him he seems tense is such a mood

harry's hair when he was swimming haha

just leave them harryy omg too noble

harry holds his breath for a long time after his gills go away - longer than i can

fred and george making fun of harry having 'moral fiber' is exactly what i would do in the situation

mr crouch stop being weird

yes finally singing hoggy warty hogwarts

oh hi mr crouch, taking a nap in the forest are u? cool

i would say do not stick your face in the pensieve but that's just me

Dr Who changed a bit since i last saw him, he's a bit mental now...

snape is so iconic wow

"bubble juice sir?" bahaha sassy harry back at it again

this music is so great

i would freak out if i had to go in that maze it's so creepy and feels like it would be so filled with jumpscares just nope

"a cauldron? What are u guys gonna do - eat me? that's gross!" feels like it should be in the movie

aw baby voldemort is so cute

ugh just chop off another finger or something wormtail jeez so much drama

how is voldemort still alive - the cauldron is on fire??

the movie is also really missing voldemort dancing with the death eaters

u dont have hair my dude stop caressing ur bald head

voldemort has lovely long fingernails

lucius' blonde hair poking out from beneath his hood is so funny 4 some reason.

"i can touch u now" is really not a good sentence

bit awkward to return with a dead body...

its alright harry *shakes his head violently*

uh oh that's not professor moody its barty jr

Order of the Phoenix

halfway done woo

the intro music is still a jam the 5th time

that is big whinging not little whinging

hi big D what a great nickname...

uh oh dementorrrrr

yes mrs figg the most iconic character in the movies

harry looks a lot like frodo baggins

yay the order is rescuing him finally

yes remus and sirius and mrs weasley and everyone

ooh kreacher

jeez hermione attack him

crookshanks attacking the extendable ears is just what my cat would do

cute godfather godson moments yeass

arthur weasley trying to function as a muggle is just so wholesome

ugh not umbridge ew

yes clear those charges

aw padfoot yess

wow that's a lovely coat sirius

voldemort looks great in a suit wow

didn't harry see his parents die? why couldn't he see the thestral before?

yes luna!

oh shut up umbridge oh my goddd

yes ron u tell seamus like a good friend

sassy harry reaching full potential

ugh umbridge sucks wow

so evil torturing harry

yes weasleys wizards wheezes

luna is so pure and perfect

the friendship between her and harry is so amazing

yas tell umbridge, mcgonagall

trelawneys bad but she doesn't deserve to be kicked out by umbridge

oof professor dumbledore just straight up ignored harry

yes harry just say you're rubbish that will make people think your sane

yes hermione break the rules!

oof ginny is jealous of cho liking harryyyy

yay the room of requirement!

dumbledores army is so fabuloussss

nigel is amazing and i love him

wow hermione just knocked out ron haha

harry potter the boy who made cheesy inspirational speeches

wow ginny is so powerful

harry and cho are so awkward eeehhhh

just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon *cringy forced laughter*

occlumency lessonnssss yay what fun

cute christmas scenes wow

ooh the family tree and sirius' backstory yay

harry u aren't becoming like voldemort u are going through pubertyyyy its hormonesssssss

yay hagrid finally

oh no it's bellatrix get ready for crazinesss

poor sirius he keeps getting the blame for everything that's so unfair

is neville tall or is harry short, because there is a huge height difference

aw all the patronuses are so cute

uh oh here comes umbridge...

noo they are captured and dumbledores lying waaa

oof dumbledore is as sassy as harry at some points - "dumbledores got style"

no umbridge is heaf and shes fricking evilllll

grawp yess. hes kind of cutee

ron is jealous of grawp bahaha

sheesh snape chill

yes a bit of maraudrrss aahhhh

thats it? noo

aw fred and george comforting a little boy is too cute!

yes fred and george!!! disrupt those OWLS!!

no harry! he doesn't have sirius nooo

yes hermione fake it till u make it ( or until u get umbridge attacked by grawp )

yay the centaurs are here as well get herrr

'i must not tell lies' the sass omg

jeez how many prophecies are there wow

pranked, harry dude ur kind of rubbish

well done ginny you've made all the prophecies fall

yh id rather watch my friends die than give u the prophecy, don't really like them tbh

yas sirius!

the order yes

you're beautiful sirius

noooooo siriusss 😭😭😭😭

yooo voldemort my dudeee

hope the ministry has a massive roomba

the DA just come in to see harry writhing on the floor and are like 'cool'

nice one fudge finally realised he's back cool, cool

ah yes angsty harry tm

aw poor luna, her shoes are all stolen.

luna is an icon though

we have something voldy doesn't - noses hahahaha

Half Blood Prince

uh oh the dark mark is here

death eaters as well fun

fenrir greyback!!

oh no not this bridge! i went across it and i was scared af

dumbledore appearing out of nowhere is so funny

ew slughorn no

wow i need dumbkwdored tidying spell so badly

slughorn collecting people is kind of creepy tbh

im so glad i dont have as many staircases as the weasleys

oh yes narcissa and bellatrix being shifty

oops snape u probs shouldnt have done that

yess fred and george!!!

weasleys wizard wheezes looks amazinggg

uh not cormac mclaggen

oooh its "draco and mummy"

no fenrir we wanted to look at draco stroking a cabinet

yes arnold!

yes draco malfoy is a "creepy bloke" ronald

why is draco always wearing a suit??

yes draco is going to pigfarts!

ouch why would u stomp on his nose??

yez luna save him

noo dont let snape teach defense against the dark arts!! i miss lupin...

poor harry having to do potions again ugh

dun dun dunnn the half blood prince

poor seamus stuff is still exploding

haha dumbledore ships hermione and harry lol

baby tom riddle is creepyy

tom riddle and slughorn were bffs wow so cute

edgy draco in his loki suit

aw rons the only one listening

ugh cormac mclaggen is so gross nooo

haha ron is so rubbish at quidditch id be just like him

'the binding is fragile' hahaha excuses

harry sleeps with his potions book hheehe wow

wow sneaky draco

rons face when hermione mentions her snogging him haha.

uh oh cursed necklace alert

harry pottrr the boy who just knew

snape is so sarcastic wow icon (not really tho ew)

oh god they're talking about skin aahhh

noo harry stop being awkwarddddd sit downn

ew cormac stop eating profiteroles so suggestively ugh

haa rons outfit

ew lavender stopp

oh yes "felix felicis" makes ron great at quidditch

poor hermione she just loves ron thats all

aw hermione and harrys friendship is so nice

angsty draco standing in a tower

"bUt I aM tHe ChOsEn OnE" god harry so pretentious

luna is the coolest person there is, nice work harry

draco in a suit again looking sad he does that a lot

no draco ur apple!

oh nvm its back dw

ugh cormac sucks.  hermione why??

at least cormac did 1 good thing and vomited on snapes shoes

draco was lurking omgggg thats his vibe now

cant break an unbreakable vow - figured that out for myself thanks (sassy harry)

ew lavender stopppp

ooh noo ginny dont feed him a mince pie awkwarddd

thanks ron

stoppp ginny. harry can tie his own shoelaceee

why do they need to burn the burrow this doesnt happen in the books #not canon

wow everyones sassy including hermione now

also lav is an awful nicknname

aha tom riddle is still creepy

okay thats a lie slughorn u told him about horcruxes

uh oh ron loves romilda vane oop

harry thinks the moon is divine haha

Ron hugging a pillow then falling off the sofa in the background oh my gosh

slughorn is so useless

haha snapes face while rons saying hermiones name

draco being edgy again woowwww

lavender that is a death glare if ever i saw one

oh no draco is crying in a bathroom now like a moody teenager

let him cry in peace harry god man

'nyaaah' is dracos go to dueling sound

oops harry u kinda killed him a little bit.

no this is so awkwarddd ginny dont

just kiss like in the books after the quidditch match thats way better

yes the felix felicis

love harry potter like this its so funny

‘harry!’ ‘sir!’

not to mention the pincers *gestures awkwardly*

nice speech harry, now u have answers on the horcruxes

ooh back to tom riddle being creepy

yas harry and dumbledore field trip quality student teacher time

snape being edgy now wow everyone is in this movie

oops foreshadowing...

harry has precious blood apparently?

yay boat ride and smoothie

harry potter not harry water bro

noo bad just aguamenti right into his mouth Harry

yay new friends!!!

dumbledore ur gonna set harry on  fire careful my dude

ooh death eaterz

did draco change intot hat suit to impress the death eaters?

oop bye dumbledore

harry brooding in dumbledores office

yess RAB get wrecked voldemort

harry ur thick apparently?

aw cute friendship

Deathly Hallows Pt. 1

rusty logo wow

‘ello whoo are u

oh scrimgeour hi i dislike u dude

veey dramatic

aaawww hermione no

yas dudley being nice to harry and vernon listening to him and leaving

ron brooding wow

bye parents sad face

wow vernons old man

ooh its snapeee he looks loke he has a lot of contpur on

yay snape has a savey seat

pius is a great name

uh oh i dont wanna give u my wand voldy

dracos face haha

ugh do they have to watch nagini eat professor burbage gross

the dursleys house looks so empty

yay the cupboard happy memories and his baby toys cuteee

moody thinks that harrys gorgeous.

yay remus and tonksss

shut up mundungus

blimey hermionee

'just trying to diffuse the tension' hahaha lol

wow so many harrys lol

yh  wouldnt want to go in the motorbike tbh

uh oh death eaters

wow parkour harry

nooo hedwig - the saddest bit of this movie

yo voldemort wassup

oops the pylons fell down... just fly away good idea

nooo george's ear

jeez lupin y are u being crazy dude

george is saint like and holy aw so cute brother moments

uh oh bye moody u were a bit creepy tbh

ha lol harry a lot of people are going to die for u

harry stop being moody omg

wow george way to ruin the vibe dude

yo minister leave pls

ron just being ungrateful - u can turn out lights now ron lucky u

yay hermione you get a childrens book thats great

wow a snitch lucky u harry. hes so pleased with that. little does he know.... its a resurrection stone bro

give him the sword man

yay nice wedding

luna interrupting deep thoughts casually

xenophilius is creepy

ron and hermione staring at each other is a mood.

way to crash a wedding dude

hermione is the most competent out of all three it has to be said

i really want that bag of hermiones

shouldnt have said voldemory now the death eaters are here whoops

"hermione" *strokes face awkwardly*

sassy harry yas

oh yes grimmauld place

oof voldys having wand struggles

hi kreacher please leave ur creepy thanks

aw siriuzz room so cute sad hes dead

regulus arcturus black yay

ugh mundungus fletcher u suck dude

aw neville

oh no pie dude is the minister if magic now

uh shut up umbridge

feel like u dont need that many posters

sentimental piano playing wow

yo dobbyyyy

umbridge ruins everything omg

ron - u dont have a wife

haha harry getting out of the lift and walking in such a weird wayyy bahahaha

ew umbridge has moodys eye groosss

yas the ugly plates are still in her office

oops ron u just kissed that random dudez wife

nice suit harry

ouch splinch

lovely tent

kill the locket dude

dean thomas is on the run ooh fancy

yh harry stop letting voldemort in dude

harry stop being so moody bro

ooh watch snape on the map thats not creepy.

oh no snatchers...

ah u almost got caught dudes

ron ur so weak wow cant apparate or anything

lot of missing people...

haha a quarantine haircut

yes hermione ur brilliant

oh god ron stop chill

bye ron i guess lol

poor hermione

yas awkward dancing timee

awkward stares

kissy for the snitch. he must really miss ginny

uh oh its opening at the closee

vfd!!! an eyee!!!

ooh godrics hollowwww

oop its christmas eve whoopssss

oh a deathly Hallows

parents grave yay!

ur bathilda? nope im a snake boiii

bathilda is 1 creepy lady

what are u saying my dude????

ew snake lady

chaira are good defences agaunst snakes definitely

ah she jumped at them

looks like a nice campsite

wow now hermiones being sentimental

oop she sat on harrys wand

wait nvm

oooh a doe a deer a female deer

dont drown harry that would be awkward

omgbharry stop undressing

oof the locket strangling him

yay ron saved him yas dude

ron kill the horcrux

u tell him hermione

nice ron tell them u have been hearing voices

yes go see xenophilius the crazy dudee

aw ron ur so awkwsrd bro

their house is so cute

shut up ron god

yay we know about the deathly hallows now

xenophilius is so suspicious tho

why would you say his nameeee

noo snatchers

ooo ominous malfoy manor

draco dont doo ittt

yay dobby!

ah no hermione

aw draco looks sad in his little loki suit

yay dobby 'maiming and seriously injuring'

nooo dobby! he deserved so much better 😭

"hey guys welcome back to my unboxing video today we are opening dumbledores grave"

yay the elder wand wow

giving away ur position a bit dude by shooting stuff in the air

Deathly Hallows Pt. 2

snape hi ur brooding

lots of dementys

dramatic music

waaa dobby

yay bill and fleur

yo griphook what up

the sword was in a river bro

madam lestrange? no!

oops thats not dracos wand anymore wowww

wands are just like 'ya hiiii we have feelings too'

oop ollivander knows about the elder wand bros

ron looks great with a moustache tho

harry just broke the law jeez...

wow that cart looks fun

wow they fell from the cart nice

oh no ron broke the law too whoops

yay a dragon

lots of gold nice

yay the cup

oops they messed up nkw everything is multiplyinggg

griphook y are u evil my dude

yay ride a dragon

oops they fell no

yas they escaped

uh oh voldemort is onto them

that's a lot of dead people

oh no everyones looking for them

ah aberforth hi!

the other part of harry's mirror!

oop dumbledore was a secretive dude

ariana yas

neville!

i love neville hes so great now

yay all of the DA

luna!

ginny is being awkward

'shut up seamus' hhaha

aaa snape yooo

snape stop being a meanie

stop being angry harry

yas queen! mcgonagall!!!!

yay

uh oh voldemort is whispering to harry again

stop voldemort you need a cough sweet

yes everyone protect him

haha filch is a blithering idiot wow

i love mcgonagall

run harry

boom! seamus blow stuff up!

yay the knight peeps

uh yes theyre protecting harry and everyone

yes luna is so smart and iconic

go talk to a ghost harry

thats a lot of death eaters

go away voldemort no one likes u

yes go stab a crown harry

yay remus

fred and george aw

ron fake parseltonguing lol

nooo quidditch

lol peeps got disintegrated

go hermione stab the cup

yessss kisss!!!!

tonks and remus together wow

wow i hate voldemort's bald head with the weird veins

run neville!

yay ginny and neville

yay a little kiss for harry!

ooh the room of requirement

edgy draco back at it again

ooh the diadem

no dracooo

yh draco y didnt u give harry away?

aw ron loves hermione

uh oh fireee

nice work goyle

bye crabbe lol

yay hes saving draco

nice killed the tiara

oops voldemorts getting angry

snapes gonna dies dudes

runnnnn guys

lavenders being eaten

yay aberforth

yeet snapes dying

gosh naginis violent

“ew snape sorry i dont like u even tho u loved my mum” - what harry should have said

woops bye snape

freds death is too sad

nooo remus and tonks

go watch snapes life my dude

yess the always bit (i dont like snape but its iconic)

poor harry

its so sad that hes just sacrificing himself

his eye contact with ron omg im cryinggg

ooh yay his familyyy

he should have said 'its muffin time’ to the resurrection stone and it would be like 'cool bro here's your dead family'

u got this harry

yay teddy mention

"until the end" yas james

lets do this harry

wow voldemort why are you standing like a weirdo

yes harry be a brave man

byee harryyyy

oooh hes alive still

hi dumbledore

yes harry is a brave brave man

cool explain it to him dumbledore

bye dumbledoreeee

wow voldy u weakk bro

yas dracos alive get off me

aw neville u got this man

voldy yeeted that dead giant wow

ew snakey boi

nooo hes dead waa

poor draco such an awkward hug

oop neville what?

ok ur just making a speech that fine carry on

voldys very polite for a villain

yay harrys alive

haha dieee

run lucius wow

oof destroying the school harry really

naginis coming run hermione

u got dis neville

noo ron

yes molly!!!

y r u hugging dudes u arent friends... did u forget? oops..

ouch

bye snake boiii

neville is so iconic omg

kill him HARRY

noice

haha disintegrate voldemort

byeee

dont breathe in voldemort guys

wow harrys a mess

yay hagrid

hermione and ron are so sweet aw

harry yeet the wand

wow draco owns the wand and now harry has it

YEET

aw the friendship

yess 19 years later

wow that hair harry

all of their haircuts are tragic tbh...

should be albus remus potter... just sayinggg

THE END DUDESSSSS

[salvatoreschool]

‘Legacies’ season 2, episode 9 review: ‘I’m THEE…Ted. I’m Ted. Sigh.’

I am so glad that Legacies season 2, episode 9 has brought our Salvatore School crew back. And now that we’ve met the Alyssa Chang, I can’t wait to see what’s next!

Before we took a break for the holidays, we saw Hope return to everyone’s memory, Landon choose to get back together with her, leaving Josie alone, and none other than THE NECROMANCER! was unveiled as the creature beneath the red cloak wreaking havoc in Mystic Falls. For a full refresher on Legacies season 2, episode 8, check out our review.

But now, it’s time to dig into all things Legacies season 2, episode 9, “I Couldn’t Have Done This Without You.”

From ‘Master of Death’ to ice cream scooper

I really didn’t know what I wanted after learning that THE NECROMANCER! was back at the end of the Legacies season 2 midseason finale. I never expected to get an entire episode of Ben Guerens as a completely human, suddenly powerless version of our hell-raiser. This was absolutely freaking delightful, and while I don’t know how long he will continue to be hanging around causing all sorts of trouble, I can’t help but be delighted to have his enthusiasm back.

Watching him take his journey from powerless mortal back to the necromancer he’s always been was interesting, and now I can’t help but wonder what role Chad will be playing as the season rolls forward.

Introducing Alyssa Chang

Is there anyone who wasn’t excited to see Olivia Liang portray Alyssa Chang? We’ve been hearing about her since the pilot, so I was more than excited to finally meet the witchy powerhouse.

I don’t know if I expected to love or hate her, but I find I’m pretty much neither. I’m intrigued by Alyssa Chang. While I wasn’t too happy about her treatment of Hope in regards to the whole roomie thing, I did love how loyal she felt toward M.G. Our favorite, comic-loving vamp needs more people in his corner, especially when the Saltzman twins keep running hot and cold on him all the time. It’s nice to know there’s someone else around to have his back when Kaleb is MIA.

I’m not sure if I love how she set Sebastian up to fail his test, or if I resent her for casting judgement on him before giving him a chance, but, I’m willing to give her loyalty to Lizzie and M.G. the edge here. Maybe it’s the Damon fan in me, but I keep seeing how similar Sebastian’s vibe is to TVD season 1 Damon. He’s just been resurrected after a VERY long dessication, and he’s not the good, kind-hearted vamp at heart. If he sticks around on Legacies, I can see a long and winding road to redemption for him, much like we watched Damon Salvatore tread.

Break-up and make-up awkwardness

It was inevitable that this episode was going to be full of awkwardness, with Josie and Landon still getting past all their break-up awkward, Hope and Josie trying to navigate a world where they both love Landon, and Hope and Landon trying to find their way back to some semblance of the normal they felt in Legacies season 1.

My greatest sympathies lie with Josie, even if I do think that Handon is my couple of the moment. While Hope and Landon are good together, I really do want to see Josie happy, so imagine the size of my grin at the end of this episode where all three parties find ways to bond in their new awkward and put the hard stuff behind them. I was basically brimming with glee whenever they were on screen.

“This is a seminal work of fiction, not something to run your horny clock out.”

I’m glad that M.G. is keeping Lizzie in her place a little. I thought it was cute that she wanted to bond with M.G. over his comics, but when we learned that it was just an effort to distract herself from Sebastian, I quickly turned on her. Not cool, Lizzie. Not cool. (Even if the tie in to the Crisis on Infinite Earths crossover event was super fun to see.)

But, seriously, though. Good on M.G. for standing up for himself and his interests and not allowing her to use him to distract herself. He deserves better, and I’m glad he recognizes that.

Is Landon really powerless?

There was a lot of heavy-handed talk about Landon’s lack of power in Legacies season 2, episode 9. No matter how long Sebastian and him spent together, the ancient vamp could not stop trying to emasculate Landon for being less powerful than Hope.

While I’m really happy that Landon isn’t afraid to be less powerful than his tribrid lady, I can’t help but wonder if we’re being set up for another huge reveal in the second half of season 2. Legacies season 1, episode 13, “The Boy Who Still Has a Lot of Good to Do” was the episode we learned Landon was a phoenix, so could Legacies season 2, episode 13 be when we learn the extent of a phoenix’s powers?

Because there’s got to be more to being a phoenix than just coming back to life. Having a power like that at your fingertips has to mean there’s more he can do. It’s just going to take the perfect set of circumstances to bring forward any other powers he might have boiling under the surface. I’m wondering if there isn’t some healing, superspeed, or SOMETHING else waiting for him to discover.

Is Chad going to be this season’s true hero?

I mean, his introduction, death, and resurrection in this episode has me wondering what role he might play as season 2 goes on. Will he be THE NECROMANCER!’s undoing? Or just a simple, loyal acolyte to the king of the undead? Only time will tell, but I won’t be forgetting him anytime soon, that’s for sure.

Josie’s little premonition

There are exactly three visuals that we see when Josie starts magically messing with the mora miserium. They are: someone smashing the mora miserium in front of a large fireplace, an image of the entire Salvatore School engulfed in flames, and an image of Josie who had clearly gone full Dark Willow. (Like, seriously, the look of it is SO reminiscent of what Willow looked like when she went dark on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.)

I’m curious if this was just the mora miserium trying to convince her to let it out, or whether this was a true sort of premonition of a future that could be if they don’t find a way to get rid of the mora miserium safely.

Friendship restored!

That three-way hug!! I’m really glad that Hope, Josie, and Landon have been able to individually work on their relationships. We saw Hope helping Josie, Josie helping Landon, and Landon leaning on Hope. Everyone is doing the work to get back to the friends they were before all the Malivore-memory-related shenanigans.

I really need Hope and Josie to keep bonding, because I love them having each other to lean on. With all the craziness going on for both of them, it’s really important to me that they have each other to go to in times of trouble, stress, or emotional upheaval.

KYM IS BACK!! Now where’s Kaleb?

Okay, so I didn’t think twice when Dorian kept mentioning his intern, but OMG! It’s Kym! Talk about ecstatic. I don’t know where Kaleb was supposed to have been for the entirety of this episode, but knowing that soon we will have Kaleb, M.G., and Kym all together again is giving me life. I loved their dynamic earlier this season when they were investigating the Croatoan, so there is bound to be some great stuff for them coming down the pike.

Bye Sebastian… the pirate vampire?

So, Sebastian is most definitely in TVD season 1 Damon mode. He’s purposely pushing Alaric’s buttons, he’s head-over-heels for Lizzie, and he’s unable to control his need for chaos. The only question remaining is: Will he end up down a Damon-like path of redemption, or will his story meet a swift and bloody end? Or did it already?

Also, there were a couple of references to Sebastian having a pirate past in this episode that had me wondering where they are taking our new vamp troublemaker. Alaric’s book, Alyssa’s reference to a boat, and when you think back to the Croatoan and the whole Roanoke situation, it would make sense that a pirate could have ended up on the island for all that craziness.

And that original outfit we saw him in. I definitely think it had a pirate-like quality.

I’m definitely eager to see how his pirate-hood may play into later storylines, especially since Alaric did something with him for the time being. Is Sebastian back in his coffin? Is he dead? Did the vamp really choose to leave? I’m sure we’ll find out in Legacies season 2, episode 10, “This Is Why We Don’t Entrust Plans To Muppet Babies.”

Altogether, I think was a great midseason return. We got to see how THE NECROMANCER! came to be back in Mystic Falls, we watched as Sebastian proved himself incapable of following the Salvatore School rules, and we saw Josie, Landon, and Hope well on their way to healing all the ills the first half of the season brought.

I’m anxious to see where the rest of this season takes us after Legacies season 2, episode 9. Have we seen the last of Vardemus? Could we meet the real Vardemus at some point? Is Clark really dead? Is Hope still friends with Maya and Ethan? The questions floating around in my head could go on and on and on and on. But for now, I’ll just trust that there’s a great storyline ahead, and we only have to wait a single week til it arrives this time.

What did you love most about ‘Legacies’ season 2, episode 9?

[pluck-my-life]

Hey Snark! Silenda (loverofthebirbs) here. I was wondering why exactly do you like to ship Red x Chuck x Bomb together? I know why you like the polyship itself, but why the separate ships on their own? (Red x Chuck, Red x Bomb, and Chuck x Bomb?) You got me to kinda see some appeal in Red x Stella even if I've never liked it, so I wanted to know because you give good reasons! c:

Oh hey @loverofthebirbs nice to see you! My brain self-awakened at 6 am and is now bubbling with activity, so buckle up for a ride! *stretches hands preparing to type a lot*

First of all, it’s inclusivity. I don’t want to imagine a couple snuggling on the couch while there’s a “third wheel” on the other side of it, lonely and awkward and maybe a little bitter seeing all the affection and feeling excluded. And among the three only Red understands from the get-go how PDA can be painful for the onlooker, and what would he do if he’s the one in the relationship? He’d have to persuade his partner to cuddle in private, but! the other two are insanely physical and can’t resist touching him even as friends, and in a relationship? They’d have a hand on him all the freaking time unless he explicitly states he needs to be alone. Now Bomb can exist outside a relationship just being happy for his friends, because he’s got great empathy and maaaybe he could be ace, but that leaves us with your least favorite ship? And I absolutely can’t imagine Red or Chuck being the third wheel, unless Red is totally ace and satisfied with just having friends. I can see ace!Red + Chuck/Bomb, with an effort, because I connect with him the most and I’m not ace, but then the whole thing feel kinda bland. Sweet but bland, like a cookie without filling or icing. Movie!Bomb can’t fully satisfy Chuck in a relationship, he would be left at home while Chuck goes clubbing and picking up someone for the night, and he would sigh about not being cool enough to share Chuck’s adventures (while understanding that you can’t put restrictions on him, freedom is crucial for his happiness) and Red would feel obliged to cuddle with him to make him feel better, but if Chuck sees them like that he’d want to be in that fluff pile, and that would still turn into awkward polyamory, however more dysfunctional than my usual sort. And you can’t have Red/Bomb while leaving Chuck out, you just can’t, not with his obvious crush on Red. Bomb himself would try to talk Red into giving him a chance, because Bomb can’t stand seeing his friends suffer. Chuck’s attraction to Red is the key factor here, he’d want in on any relationship Red is having, whether it’s with Bomb or Stella or both. I can ship all four, connected via Red, and as far as I remember I’ve told you in messages how Red couldn’t deal with his roommates all the time, he’d need a breather and someone he can trust, to be able to fall apart in someone’s arms (and Bomb hasn’t reached the emotional maturity yet, he can maybe nod at Red’s complaints and hug him, but Stella could actually understand, maybe even share his burden of being a self-sufficient bird with needy partners while her own friends are perfectly able to entertain themselves). Red and Stella are both leader types, but Red is introvert or at least ambivert, and these types are said to get “adopted” by extroverts (such as Stella or Chuck). I must say I’m projecting a lot here, but isn’t it the whole point of shipping? to have at least some imaginary relationships when you can’t have it irl for one reason or another? When I was in a social phase and had relationships I wasn’t in any fandoms, I didn’t even draw anything. The whole fandom thing is my substitute for love life, and tbh it’s more reliable and satisfying than 1) trying to meet people, 2) talk to them enough to decide if they’re worth meeting, 3) find out you’re not attracted to them but they kind of are, because I’m the picky side here, and the whole thing turns awkward. And this is how I find friends through Tinder, even when I’m looking for a hookup. And then I’m likely to find a therapist for them via my own therapist, because the only people I resonate with are kinda messed up. In the Bird Village it’s the other way around, Red finds mates through group therapy, but the result is the same: misfits sticking together. And here we get to another reason I’m polyshipping through the character connect to: I can’t really love myself, even on a mentally healthy day I struggle to find myself attractive - but loving a character while simultaneously connecting with him almost takes me there. And here comes the best part: I connect with other characters in my ships as well (I don’t usually ship people I can’t relate to) and then I get to feel for both parts, even for three parts on a good day, and this fills my huge emotional capacity almost to the brim while my mind is involved too, imagining stuff and supporting the connections - unlike in a real relationship, when my brain gets bored and wanders over fantasies or trivial matters even during intimate moments. I’ve never thought of it that way, but it seems like I’m polyamorous because of my neurodivergency. No person I’ve ever had experience with had a personality as multifaceted as mine, ergo I can’t be satisfied with just one person emotionally (not even talking about sex - without emotional involvement it’s plain boring). Just like another character mentioned here, though for a different reason: if I’m a very big computer, and Chuck is a very fast computer, the result is technically the same: the calculations are done quickly and we’re left idle, understimulated. I don’t fully understand my connection with Chuck, or rather I can’t pinpoint it, because… let’s just try to list it. I’m anarchist, Chaotic Good, I love to entertain people with jokes and dorky behavior when I’m in a social mood (especially when drunk), I can be very active and enthusiastic when I have the energy… A lot of my qualities that I don’t even notice because they’re so natural would remind people of Chuck rather than Red, and isn’t that ironic in light of me not initially liking the “sexy and annoying” type? Or maybe it’s just my second-hand embarrassment getting in the way of just laughing at their antics? Most of the time I lack Chuck’s confidence, especially that finding-yourself-attractive brand of confidence, but with some effort I could adopt that quality and it could make me a better-functioning person. Now if I could adopt Bomb’s ability for unconditional love I could become that fusion phoenix we’ve been talking about, maybe even a complete person… but that wouldn’t happen without gaining some femininity from Stella’s flock - good thing it comes mixed in with mischief and badassery, which make it far more palatable than the annoying “tomboy turning into a prom queen” trope that needs to get thrown in a volcano. I’m carefully exploring a straight ship through the most capable character, borrowing some of her confidence to support my weak, underdeveloped female side. I would feel fairly comfortable as Dahlia too, except it makes me self-conscious about boring people out of their minds while being bossy - not the most attractive archetype, though I’m not familiar with her enough to see her good side (gotta rewatch the Stella toons, this time with a more analytical mindset)… Gale is the one I’m most wary of: I have that selfish bitchy side to me that I prefer to keep far away from the front parts of my personality, because I’m madly scared of her - can’t let her take reins of my self-criticism… or maybe I need to befriend her first? Except that’d take a lot of work I’m not yet ready for. I could do with Poppy’s carefree attitude and Willow’s love for the process of art, not the result I can show off in the internet to earn a little bit of attention - I think those qualities can go hand in hand. Less self-consciousness, more enjoyment, and if I can’t feel encouraged and supported whether others provide it or not, maybe I should achieve that through the powers of my imagination. My brain could be a whole world of its own if I wasn’t constrained by depression, anxiety, fear of rejection… things that sound familiar, and they do play a part in connecting me to characters. If I didn’t have them I’d be out in the real world, doing… I don’t know what exactly, if making art is one of my coping mechanisms?.. Crafting, I guess? Eh, my train of thought took a wrong turn… Here is another post about my connection to characters, if you haven’t seen it.

Why are you mentioning separate ships? They all happen in the same headcanon-universe, more or less. Polyamory isn’t always threesomes, and interpersonal relationships all have their own dynamics. Two can entertain themselves while the third one is busy or not in the mood. A fourth can spice up the picture once in a while, with or without intimacy. Pairings mix in my brain like colors and flavors, add a mood and it’s a different picture every time. I’ve drawn frisky Red x Chuck and passionate too, in my drafts there are unfinished comic panels for a fluffy first time and a quirky first time (that would be AUs from each other but whatever, how exactly their intimate life starts out doesn’t matter in the long run) as well as some scenes implying that Chuck has been annoying Red to get the rough treatment for a change (more on sexual dynamics here). Some of my scenarios involve Bomb walking in on the pair and they insist that he should join, even if he’s embarrassed, because it’s definitely better for his psyche than trying to go back to whatever he was doing before he heard the noise and went to investigate. He worries and even explodes when the two upset him by bickering with each other (in the comics), how would he know the noises weren’t arguing and fighting if he’s so socially inexperienced? Again, that makes Red x Bomb first time a separate AU, but those are just scenes their eventual life doesn’t depend on, I draw them to convey moods and emotions rather than to mark an event in the birds’ life. Maybe it’s not Bomb’s first time per se, maybe it’s his first time trying to be active rather than being pleasured by his mates, and he still needs tons of encouragement because he must be so insecure about, well… everything about his appearance! He’s not a conventionally attractive bird, there’s no way he hasn’t been teased a lot growing up, even if he was home-schooled (very likely due to his condition). You’ve mentioned Chuck giving him confidence about his ability by being impressed, same way Red could make him feel attractive (Red far more likely than Chuck, ‘cos the latter is a bit of a thrill-seeker, more attracted to a snarky bird with a temper, while Red would seek solace and relaxation after dealing with the needy, sometimes insensitive little annoyance that is Chuck). Bomb is a good empathetic listener, something both of them need, but Chuck can forget whatever bothers him and move on, while Red would dwell on it until he works things out on his own or Bomb asks what’s bothering him. He might not help to resolve the issue but he can comfort Red without too much talking, platonically or intimately or both, because that’s how moods work in harmonious relationships: people can cry after sex, or cry into their lover’s shoulder until they’ve dealt with that feeling and then get horny, or they could get overcome with feelings right in the process - crying is emotional unloading, and sex is… well, you see the parallel. Watching a movie we cry during emotional climaxes. Now I’ll leave these metaphors for potential fics and conclude that Red x Bomb is the emotional aspect of the trio’s dynamics, Red x Chuck is more sexual, and understanding Chuck x Bomb requires me to further my connection to both. I haven’t incorporated Stella in their dynamics, and she may not want to have relationships with all three anyway, but this is fine in polyamory too. It’s all about balance and satisfying everyone’s needs, not the geometry of connections. 

[genjii09]

Rambling and Ranting (haven’t done this in a while). Be advised: there is some rather foul language below. TL;DR alert, too.

Universe, would it fucking kill ya to allow me to catch one miniscule break once in a while? Honestly, would it fucking kill ya? 

I mean, this is why I don’t go out much, even long before the pandemic. I always told that every coming day is going to be better than the last, but it’s always more bullshit. I mean, I busted my ass for the past 10 years to get a fucking aerospace degree and for the past 2 years I apply to hundreds of places across the US, Canada, and even New Zealand and I can’t land anything. Even though most of the interviews I had landed went well, I always end up getting a big fat rejection. 

Of course, last year I was given an offer to play bass in this new band. Apparently this guy had been in a [self-proclaimed] popular touring band, one of which I had never heard of, and the group had disbanded so he was forming a new band. Honestly, the genre of music this guy plays doesn’t interest me in the slightest, but it seemed like a good Idea at the time to give it a chance; also I was just happy to be in a band at all. I wanted to join my friends in Swarm of Serpent, which is a blackened death metal band (much more my speed), but of course they went with somebody else. I guess I can’t truly fault them because I was in bands before and had played bass since 2008, I was never in a band that had played live gigs. Not to mention I had been pitching my own bands since 2009 and nobody ever wanted to be a part of them. But, since August of 2019 I actually got to be in a band and play a few shows around my own town, Phoenix, and even a couple shows in California. I also got to meet some other cool musicians including my buddy Dan who had briefly played drums with us. It was also something for me to do while I looked for engineering jobs. Still working on finding a job; haven’t given up on that.  

I thought that being in this band would make me happier, but damn was I ever wrong. As good a guitarist and vocalist this guy is, I have learned rather quickly that he is a massive control freak who is untrustworthy and impossible to work with. My buddy Dan was aware of this as well, and he made the right decision and left after we returned from our first “tour.” First off, the guy doesn’t have tablature or sheet music for his songs so in order for me to learn them he had to take my bass and show me. I ask the guy simple musical theory questions and he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. And not even a week after I joined the band (before we even auditioned a drummer) he was so adamant about going on tour of west coast when we haven’t made a local name for ourselves. Just because we reached over 8000 likes on Facebook doesn’t mean we’re going to fill shows. Every gig we’ve had, we would typical go on first and every time I would look up from my bass I would see about 8 to 12 people in the audience on average. Me, I don’t care when we perform or how many people come to the pit to watch us; I’m just happy to play at all, but the ringleader sure as hell care. And this tour of the west coast was very poorly planned: not only did he try to book the gigs himself and only manage to get about four out of like planned 12 venues, he had us take an old raggedy van which had mechanical issues in the red. Not long after we had picked up Dan in Maricopa we made a pit stop in Casa Grande, and when me and Dan stepped out to stretch we noticed that two tires had the metal belts exposed so they were completely unusable so we had to get them replaced immediately. I mean we did get the tires replaced and we did our shows in Cali  and had some down time, but there was so much wrong with van still and me ad Dan convinced this guy to have us end the “tour” early and return to Arizona after our LA gig. The guy was not happy of course, but I care much more about our safety than a poorly planned tour of only four shows. 

After we got back from Cali at the end of February, Covid-19 was starting to spread in the US so that was making it much harder for us to play shows. We did manage to play a show in Tucson on March 14th which was right before lockdown was issued in AZ. But, on the night of that show both me and Dan were feeling sick and neither of us wanted to play. Since Dan lives further away he couldn’t possibly make the show, but instead of pulling us out of the gig like a sensible person, the guy contacted our friend Erik of Sworn Apart to fill in for Dan and basically told me to suck it up and drink some tea. So against my better judgment I played the show anyway with a mask on. It baffled me even more that the bar owners even kept the show on to begin with. So we played the show, and it didn’t go as terribly as I had imagined but it was still bad. I for only having about 3 hours to learn the set, Erik did a great job. Needless to say, Dan left the band and lockdown kept us from having a show until May and lockdown happened again because the governor of AZ is a moron who thought it was a good idea to open up bars when we’re still in a pandemic. 

Another thing is, he self-directed our first music video which was a complete and utter shit show. I won’t go into much detail about that now because I feel that deserves it’s own blog entirely. Ultimately, the finished project turned out pretty well because we had it filmed and edited by the amazing people at Starlight Productions. We just filmed another music video last month that I feel was better directed this time around. But leading up to the filming the guy had seemingly burnt his bridge with our front-man and the storyline for the video sporadically changed. The new video is for a song we’ve never played live and it’s not even a song I want to play to begin with.

Then there’s the whole album thing, we were supposedly going to release our first album earlier this year but every time I ask about recording, I would never receive a straight answer. Of course I have no writing for any of the first album songs because they were all written before I joined and that’s okay. But when it came to the second album, the guy said that he wanted me to have more creative freedom and have me write songs with him. So around late January when I was jamming with Dan while this dude was in the other room, I came up with this cool brutal riff and started writing the song “Dead Inside for Years” and since we had all of the songs set for album #1 I figured I’d save it for the next one. And I was thinking we wouldn’t get to the second album until some time in 2021, but nope. A few weeks ago he invited me over to “track bass” and I figured he meant that he wanted me to record my bass parts for the songs in the first album. Welp, I was wrong once again. What he meant was for me to track bass for SECOND ALBUM songs, which of course were songs I haven’t learned yet (most of which I didn’t even know he had written). In addition to several new songs this guy had written and the ONE song I wrote, he also wants us to play 4 old songs from his previous band; which makes no sense because this current band is supposed to break away from the old band and they don’t even sound close to what we play live. I especially don’t like that because I feel like he’s cutting corners by reusing these old songs to fill out an LP. I can understand repurposing old riffs and making them into new songs but lifting your songs, I’m not down with that. I was planning on writing a few more songs for this band, but at this point, I feel that it won’t even be worth it. Creative freedom my ass. I am hoping that Erik and I can get this guy to listen to reason and get him to try and change his ways. For me, the worse thing about this guy is his outstanding ego. Also for the whole little run in California he was convinced that my name is “Chris” which it’s not. 

Of course there are quite a few other reasons as to why I can’t stand working with this guy, but if I keep going this post will end up being the size of a novel. Maybe if I end up doing some kind of a memoir in the future I will go into this band story in greater detail and have it much better organized. If you made it this far into my tl;dr rant blog, I commend you. Not sure how much longer I will stick this out, but I do plan on leaving the band rather soon anyway. As much as music is a passion of mine, I am an engineer first and my greatest dreams dwell within that field. Since I haven’t had so much luck with my bachelor’s degree I plan on soon applying for graduate school in order to work towards a master’s degree in Aerospace Engineering. The one thing I have always wanted to research is the design of an engine that may one day make interstellar space travel possible. Star Wars and Star Trek have had a lasting impact on me and I want to make the technology of those fictional worlds into reality. My greatest dream of all is to help bring humanity beyond the stars or at the very least, push in the right direction. 

As I always say: The sky is NOT the limit, it is merely the beginning.

And as the late great Carl Sagan had once said: “Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.”

[kenzieam]

Phoenix Rising - Chapter 14 (Eric X OC)

Rating: M (violence/swearing/smut :p)

Genre: General/Drama/Angst

Thanks everyone for the re-blogs and support!!! IT IS SO AWESOME!!!  

@emmysrandomthoughts @beautifulramblingbrains @iammarylastar @tigpooh67 @bookwarm85 @frecklefaceb @mom2reesie @elaacreditava @badassbaker @captstefanbrandt @jaihardy @treeleaf @pathybo @beltz2016 @lilu46 @equalstrashflavoredtrash

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Chapter 14 my lovelies!

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Eric soon fell asleep, lulled by the warmth of his sons against his chest. He’d already fallen hard for them, their baby scent, their snuffling, their tiny fingers and toes. A deep, violently possessive love filled him, he would die, would kill for his sons the same as he would for Fox. Waiting here to see if Fox would wake and return to them became bearable with his babies against him, warm on his skin. He drowsed, head fallen forward to rest between his sons and they instinctively nuzzled closer to his face.

It was so freaking cute that at first Mary didn’t want to disturb them, but the twins would soon wake on their own, demanding to be fed and changed. Mary had to admit she was surprised, her first impression of Eric Coulter earlier today as his wife was in labour had not been favourable; he’d been in the way much more than he’d helped. His brutish size, tattoos and piercings had not helped better her thoughts of him, he’d looked like the ultimate knuckle-dragging Dauntless savage, capable only of breeding, fathering gangs of equally brutish children without sticking around to actually raise his get; not the gentle giant currently cradling his two sons so tenderly, his massive hands all but swarming their tiny bodies. His earlier bad behaviour had been new daddy nerves and worry for his wife. Reaching out, she touched his shoulder.

“Mr. Coulter?”

Eric started slightly and lifted his head, fixing bleary eyes on her.

“I brought some bottles, the twins will be hungry soon.”

Eric nodded and yawned, dropping his head again Mary heard him murmur softly, “midnight snack, little guys.”

Mary set the second rocking chair across from Eric and pulled the blanket down to expose the twins. “I’ll take one of them and show you how to feed them? Then we can change their diapers and you can have them back for awhile after.”

Eric nodded, then yawned again. “Sorry,” he murmured.

“Don’t be, it’s been a long day. I can take the twins back to the nursery tonight so you can get some sleep?”

Eric hesitated, then replied, “yeah, okay. I’m not sure I can handle them both yet.”

“It’ll come, don’t worry.” Mary reached over and gently plucked the smaller twin off of Eric’s chest, her fingertips brushed his skin and Mary bit back a smile; a small part of her wondered idly if Eric would turn that smouldering gaze on her if Fox died and take her home to help raise his sons. Don’t be ridiculous, she chastised herself, if Fox dies, he’ll never look at another woman again.

Settling down in the rocking chair Mary gently lay the baby across her forearm; watching her carefully, Eric did the same.

“Okay, just brush his little cheek with your finger,” Mary instructed. “He’ll turn his head and open his mouth. Keep the bottle tipped enough so he doesn’t swallow any air.” Mary stroked her baby’s cheek and gave him the nipple as he opened his tiny mouth. Nervously, Eric did the same, smiling when his son latched on. He carefully tilted the bottle, glancing quickly back and forth between his and Mary’s. Mary smiled encouragingly, Eric was a fast learner, a careful study and a natural; she’d never have to show him this again.

“Have you thought of names yet?”

Eric glanced over at his wife, and Mary’s heart squeezed at the pain in his eyes. He cleared his throat and looked down at his son. “We had a few narrowed down...I don’t want to do it without her though, so......” He trailed off and tenderly stroked the downy hair on his son’s head.

Mary felt compelled to reassure him, although a large man, he looked so damn small and sad right now. “You have a few days before the records department will start hassling you....hopefully your wife is awake by then.”

Eric looked up at Mary, and the stark, desperate hope in his eyes nearly made Mary cry. “You think so?”

“I’d like to think that the world isn’t so cold and vengeful to keep you apart for too long.” Mary replied quietly.

Eric sniffed and lowered his head again, his breathing becoming unsteady. Mary began talking again, trying to lighten the atmosphere. “Okay, we’d like them to drink at least half of the bottle, he’ll stop sucking when he’s done. If you think he is, you have to burp him....take that little blanket I left on your knee and put in on your shoulder.”

Looking grateful for a distraction, Eric complied.

“Support his head, like this, and lay him against your shoulder.” Mary demonstrated and Eric mirrored her, eyes wide.

“He’s so little,” he muttered and Mary smiled.

“They’re a decent size for early twins, Twin A was 4 lbs 2 oz and little B was 3 lbs 13 oz.....okay, once you have him settled, rub his back or pat it lightly; be careful not to jostle his head too much.” Eric watched her a moment before beginning to rub the baby’s back. It didn’t take long to hear a tiny burp and Eric chuckled at the sound.

“Okay, you can lay him back down, I’ll just get B here to burp too.” As if on cue, little B burped and Mary smiled. Lifting him she turned him slightly towards Eric. “Okay, he spit up a bit, that’s normal, just wipe it off.”

Eric nodded, stifling another yawn. Little A was nuzzled securely in his arms, already going back to sleep.

Mary stood and moved to the bassinet. Laying little B inside she quickly swaddled him then gently took A from Eric and swaddled him too. “I’ll take them back to the nursery now, they’ll be up every few hours for a bottle and you should try to sleep.”

Eric stood and, remembering he was shirtless, crossed his arms over his chest. Mary found the gesture endearing, like a little shy boy. He stepped towards the bassinet and Mary backed away to give him room. Eric leaned down and murmured quietly to his sons, pressing a gentle kiss to the tops of their tiny heads then straightened again. He glanced over at Fox and Mary saw the longing in his eyes. She cleared her throat and said hesitantly, “as long as you don’t move around too much when you sleep and don’t disturb her IV lines and monitors, you can sleep beside her, the bed’s big enough.”

Eric looked back at Mary, mildly surprised and Mary smiled encouragingly back. “Millie is one of my friends, she said that Fox would sleep beside you when you were here, and it seemed to help keep you settled. It’s not often in Erudite that we get to witness that level of love.”

Eric looked away quickly, eyes becoming shiny.

“I’ll leave you now, and I’ll tell the morning nurse to bring your sons back over.”

“Thank you,” Eric’s voice was not entirely steady and Mary turned quickly away, pushing the bassinet in front of her, wanting to give the grieving husband some privacy.

After Mary pulled the door quietly closed behind her, Eric moved to Fox’s bedside. There was enough room for him to lay beside her, and his heart ached to be near her again. Kicking off his shoes and socks, Eric sat on the edge of the bed, then delicately stretched out beside his wife. He’d almost gotten used to the respirator’s rasp, he was able to tune it out, at least; and Eric turned carefully onto his right side to gaze at Fox. The mechanical, robotic way her chest rose and fell with the machine was eerie and Eric stopped a shiver; Fox had had to deal with the same thing with him and she’d managed.

Reaching over, Eric tenderly stroked the back of a bent finger against Fox’s cheek, her skin was cool and she didn’t react to his touch, not that Eric had expected her too; she was drifting somewhere far away, and Eric could only hope that she wasn’t in pain or afraid.

“Come back to me, baby.” Eric whispered, stroking along Fox’s jaw line, “I miss you, our babies miss you.....please baby-” Eric’s voice broke and he cut off, swallowing hard. He pulled his hand away from her face and took her hand now, twining his fingers with hers and exhaled unsteadily. Curling carefully around her, Eric snuggled closer and sighed, closing his eyes.

A nurse checking Fox’s vitals accidentally woke Eric later, but he quickly dropped back down, exhausted. He didn’t wake the second time the nurse came in and she paused, admiring the way he curled around her patient, clung to her and moulded his huge body against her; possessive and gentle all at the same time. Her heart squeezed and she hoped that everything worked out for this unfortunate couple. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Mr. Coulter?” A soft voice spoke.

Blinking, Eric raised his head from the crook of Fox’s neck and squinted at the nurse.

“I’m sorry to wake you, but I’ve brought your sons.”

Eric glanced at the clock, it was mid-morning already; groaning slightly, Eric sat up, careful to not disturb Fox. The nurse turned away and busied herself with the twins to give Eric a moment to collect himself. He padded into the bathroom and emerged a few minutes later, the nurse holding one of the twins and humming softly to him. She turned and smiled.

“They’ve just been fed, Mary says you were doing skin-to-skin with them?”

Eric nodded.

The nurse smiled, “that’s the best comfort for a newborn.” She glanced at the nearby rocking chair and Eric stepped forward, pulling it closer to Fox’s bedside. Grabbing the blanket, he sat, his knees almost touching the bed and accepted the tiny bundle the nurse passed him. She’d unwound the swaddling and Eric lay his son carefully against his chest; like yesterday, the baby snuffled a minute then relaxed, curling his little fists against Eric’s skin. The nurse gently placed his brother beside him and they squirmed closer, drawing a smile from Eric.

“Call if you need anything.....would you like some breakfast?”

“Yeah...that’d be great, thanks.”

The nurse smiled and adjusted the blanket covering the twins as they snuggled against their father’s chest before leaving. She returned a few minutes later and set a tray next to Eric’s chair. Easily cradling both boys with one arm, Eric ate. Dauntless food was better, but the hospital kitchen had attempted to duplicate his faction’s food and they’d done an alright job. As he ate, Eric spoke, talking to Fox and their sons about everything and nothing. The twins slept through the whole conversation, their warm little bodies cozy against Eric and he felt himself relaxing. All they needed was Fox to wake up so they could go back home and things would get damn near perfect.

“Eric?”

Eric turned his head to see Four and Tris at the door. Instantly Eric’s heart dropped. He’d forgotten all about them last night, in the waiting room.

“Hey Four, I’m sorry, I forgot-”

Four grinned. “Don’t worry, we came in and saw you sleeping in the rocking chair with your sons, so we went home.” Four took the other rocking chair and Tris settled in his lap.

“How’s she doing?” Four asked quietly.

Eric explained what he could, his arm tightening around his sons as his emotions threatened to get the better of him. Leaning down, he kissed each boy on the top of their heads before raising his gaze to Four and Tris again. Tears shone in both of their eyes.

“What?” Eric grinned, sniffing back tears of his own.

“You look so natural like that, holding your sons....I never thought I’d see it.” Four replied.

Eric grinned, “me neither, don’t tell anybody.” ______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Four and Tris stayed for awhile, and Tris even managed to wheedle Eric into handing over one of the twins so she could coo at him, Four smiling down over her shoulder. They left soon after, and Eric was alone with Fox and the twins for awhile until the doctor came in with a large mobile machine. It was to scan Fox’s head, to read her brain wave activity, if there even was any, and see if she was improving. Eric walked up and down the hallway with his sons, completely oblivious to the growing group of drooling nurses watching him from the desk; Eric’s chest may have been covered by two infants and a blanket, but his powerful back was still on full display, and that, coupled with his adorable daddy skills, was making more than one nurse weak at the knees. After a few minutes, the doctor called Eric back into the room and dismissed the nurses that had been helping him with the scan. Eric sat cautiously, scanning the doctor’s face for any hint of what he was about to say.

The doctor took the other chair and smiled. “You’re settling in well with your sons,” he noted.

“It’ll be better when their mother can join us.”

“Yes, about that.....the scan has shown marginally more brain wave activity, but not enough for me to say with any certainty whether or not this means Fox will wake back up.”

Eric chewed his lip for a moment, blinking rapidly; he refused to break down and cry in front of this man, he needed to stay strong for his sons; tonight he would curl into Fox’s side and cry, beg her to come back to him, but not now. “I’m guessing the longer she stays this way the worse her prognosis?”

The doctor nodded soberly and Eric sniffed, dropping his head to nuzzle his sons.

“I’m sorry for the less than encouraging news....her blood tests show no traces of sedation serum remaining, so if we don’t start to see an increase in her brain waves by tomorrow then I estimate her chances of regaining conscious to drop to almost zero.”

Eric gasped for air, feeling like he’d been kicked in the stomach. So that’s it? That fast? His chest locked down and he found it almost impossible to draw another breath. The doctor stood and rested his hand on Eric’s shoulder.

“I apologize for being abrupt, being Dauntless I knew you wanted the truth, however frightening it is.”

Eric nodded, his chest beginning to loosen, although he didn’t want to know, he asked anyway. “And if she doesn’t, if her brain waves don’t go up, what happens to her body?”

The doctor sighed and gazed at Fox for a moment before beginning to speak. “She could remain as she is now, but in a persistent vegetative state, basically just a body kept alive by machines....or her body could start to shut itself down, maybe slowly, maybe more quickly, until she slipped away, or the decision was made to pull her from life support.”

The tight feeling returned. Pull her from life support? Watch her shut down, or watch her just lay there, forever? Eric wasn’t sure which was worse. As Dauntless, neither were acceptable and Eric vowed to save Fox from that lingering fate, even if in so doing he would be tearing out his own heart and soul and burying them with his dead wife.

The doctor patted his shoulder one more time, then left. Eric looked over at Fox and before he could stop himself, tears began to flow down his cheeks. Sensing a change in their father, the twins began to squirm against him and mewl. Eric swallowed hard and whispered.

“Please baby, please......please don’t leave us.”

Standing, Eric cradled the twins to his chest and moved to the bed. Slowly, carefully, he maneuvered himself to lay beside Fox and rolled on his side to face her. Gently he lay the twins between them and tucked the blanket around their little bodies. With contented little burbles, the twins squirmed until they were touching each other and fell back asleep; Eric almost envied them. Looking back up at Fox he gently took her hand and pulled it over to rest softly on top of the twin’s blanket.

“Here baby, here’s our sons. They’re waiting for you to wake up.....I am too.” Eric sighed and stroked up and down Fox’s forearm, biting his bottom lip to keep from breaking down again. Although surrounded by his family, Eric had never felt so alone.

His eyelids began to droop, although only mid-day, Eric was exhausted; he dropped his head to the pillow beside Fox and gazed at her as his eyelids grew heavier. He wished they were back at Dauntless, at home, enjoying a nap together instead of here.

Fox’s hand twitched and Eric raised his head sharply. “Fox?”

Fox groaned in reply, her fingers curling into the blanket.

[averageatbest]

ALL 20 PLEASE :)

aww thanks pal :)

1. meaning behind my url: i used to have this old best friend who i was really close with, and every time we’d asked her dad somethin like “how are you doing” “how was work” or “how do i look” he’d always answer with “average at best” and i just loved that guy he was so funny i miss him

2. a picture of me: tbh im a dummy and i can’t figure out how to insert a pic of me in here so i’ll post one later (or just go under tagged “me” i think there are some old pics of me)

3. tattoos i have: none but i want a lil simple one like the outline of a flower or somethin like that

4. last time i cried & why: two days ago bc of a bad dream 

5. piercings i have: I just got my ears pierced a week ago!!!! it’s my first piercing and i know it’s so simple it’s just my lobes but im so happy i finally did it and i love them 

6. favorite band: hands down phoenix i’ve loved them since 7th grade, i might be seeing them in a couple months and im so excited. i literally have a dog named after them. pls check them out

7. biggest turn off: probably either if the person is rude or if they have like bad dental hygiene?? idk i used to date this guy who never brushed his teeth and he was rude and i basically hated him

8. top 5 (subject): u didnt give me a subject so i’ll just do my top 5 fav things in general :)

my first fav thing is def Quinn ily i know u wont see this bc i’ve had u blocked on tumblr since 8th grade out of embarrassment but luv u ur my fav thing

 my dog phoenix she’s the best dog ever

my friends: i have the best friends in the world and i couldnt ask for anything better!!

music!! for obvious reasons music is just the shit u know

writing: i havent done it in so long but i’m starting up again and i love it!!

9. tattoos i want: lil flower thing i mentioned earlier

10. biggest turn ons: sense of humor!!! being gentle!!! pretty eyes!!!! payin attention to me & being nice!!!

11. age: 16 turnin 17 real soon

12. ideas of a perf date: goin somewhere cool like a park or a lil cafe or a museum and taking cute pictures of each other and holding hands and telling stories to each other about our pasts or fun times we’ve had together 

13. life goals: go to college in nyc, write music or a book or star in a movie or write and direct one, to tell my story somehow and make a difference in peoples lives, be successful and happy 

14: piercings i want: kinda want my belly button pierced but first i’d want a flat stomach so i just have to lose a few pounds real quick

15. relationship status: i’m that really annoying girl who won’t shut up about her boyfriend!!!!!!

16. fav movie: ok usually i’d say something like my babysitter’s a vampire (truly a MASTERPIECE) or chicken little but more realistically i’d say baby driver bc i saw that last month and that shit MOVED me it was just a great film and i could talk for hours about all the great shit in that movie but i’ll move on now

17. a fact about my life: this is kinda sad but i just love to travel lol i’ve been to nyc 5 times and i’ve been to hilton head 15 times in my 16 years of life, that’s not a rlly interesting fact but i think it’s pretty impressive tbh

18. phobia: heights, planes, all the basic stuff but i also FREAK OUT sometimes when certain ppl touch me?? i think that’s like an abuse thing but idk it counts as a phobia kinda i guess??

19. middle name: I LOVE MY MIDDLE NAME so much it’s Jane after my beautiful grandmother who i miss so much and i just luv it bc it reminds me of her and it’s so classy and cute i just 

20. anything u want 2 ask: please ask me more stuff i love doing things like this!!!!

[darknessontheedgeoftowndyke]

Cats and Scarves: A Short Story

It’s always cold first thing in the morning, so Eleanor is sure to bundle up with her scarf and sweater, as she downs her coffee and struggles with the key to lock the door. Her car takes a while to wake up, and she curses under her breath, checking the time on her phone. 8:47. She’s trying to get to the new pet shelter, to volunteer- it’s not really a job, but it’s a start, and working in movie theatres isn’t going to work out forever. She backs her car out of her driveway, checking the road for ice, then deeming it safe as she slides a CD into the player. She’d better not be late.

The shelter is warm, is the first thing Zaire registers as she steps inside, pulling her coat out of the way so it doesn’t jam in the door. There are a couple of people already there, silently looking at their phones. So much for Zaire’s hope to make friends. It stinks less than she expected, and the walls in the office are adorned with photos of dogs and cats. Zaire smiles. She’d love a dog, she’s always been a dog person. Suddenly the door opens with a suction-like noise, as wind desperately tries to overwhelm the office, and someone else comes through. They’re almost smothered in a huge scarf and sweater, and Zaire can tell they’ve now noticed the temperature, because the scarf is hesitantly pulled off and stuffed in a bag. Then the new arrival sinks down onto a waiting chair, picking at their nails. Without the scarf, Zaire can see that the newcomer has long, dirty blonde hair, messy but beautiful. Maybe this would be more interesting than Zaire thought.

A tall vet with hair cut in a blunt bob enters through a door at the back, immediately capturing everyone’s attention. Including Eleanor, there are four people, and the vet stands in front of them, gaze sweeping over them. Eleanor feels self conscious and resists the urge to pull back her hair. “I’m Amy Pinnock,” the vet announces, her voice firm but kind, “Are you all here for the volunteer positions?” Eleanor nods along with everyone else, and Amy looks satisfied. “Alright then,” she says. “Follow me.”

The first day is more introductory than anything, though Dave is asked to clean out a litterbox, which he does so somewhat resentfully. Zaire feels a surge of annoyance. It’s not a nice job, but he knew what he was signing up for, didn’t he? The other two volunteers are introduced as Daisy and Eleanor, who is the one with the beautiful, messy hair that Zaire can’t stop staring at. Her own hair has been pulled into a messy bun, which she usually does so she doesn’t have to deal with it. She has the kind of hair that is always tangling, no matter how much hair conditioner she uses. Eleanor smells of grapefruit and lemon, and it makes Zaire feel a little dizzy. She can’t afford to get distracted, especially on the first day, but it’s hard to ignore someone with the kind of presence Eleanor has. Inescapable.

After a week on the job, Eleanor gets used to the smell, the constant threat of having your eye scratched out by Penny, a tabby cat who had been rescued recently, and even getting up early. She starts getting friendly with the other volunteers, learning that Daisy wants to become a full time veterinarian, and Dave has never had a pet due to his parents having allergies. The one person she doesn’t know much about is Zaire, a girl with eyes the colour of grass, and hair that is always pulled up and out of her face. She isn’t secretive, but she doesn’t exactly volunteer information, she’s friendly enough but always seems to escape under Eleanor’s gaze. She feels drawn to Zaire, more than she’s ever felt anything before, and the need to know her properly is starting to eat away at her. Finally on Friday, the end of the second week, Eleanor and Zaire end up working late, cleaning cat dishes. At first they keep up a mild chatter of small talk, then eventually it fades and they work in a silence that feels magnetic- anything but wrong. There’s a pull between them, and eventually Zaire pulls out her phone to check the time, and her wallpaper catches Eleanor’s eye. “Shrek?” She asks, a smile tugging at her lips. Zaire looks over, and Eleanor expects her to shrug and go silent, but she smiles, too, pocketing the phone. “I have this weird thing for the Shrek movies,” she admits, and Eleanor feels excited for this bit of information. She doesn’t want it to end, so she asks, “What movie is your favourite?” Zaire smiles again, and it lights up her eyes. “I don’t know. I think Shrek offers more on self acceptance and friendship, while Shrek 2 is more about love and the risks you’ll take to save it. And, well, Shrek’s 3 and 4. Not that newsworthy, in my opinion. I guess both the first and second have different things to offer, and are great in different ways. Do… you like Shrek?” Her voice goes a bit quieter when she says this, as if she’s scared of the answer. “Absolutely,” Eleanor replies. “You know, I’d never really analysed it before, like you did. It was interesting.” Zaire smiles, scrubbing a bowl. “What’s your favourite movie?” Eleanor doesn’t have to think long. “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Aside from being bloody hilarious, it really opens a new door in the series.” She feels confident admitting her Potter obsession, not only because Zaire is a self-admitted Shrek follower, but because the air around them feels peaceful. She’s surprised when Zaire admits, “I’ve never seen Harry Potter.”

“What? No way! You must’ve at least seen the first one?” “Nope. My mum thought it was too dark when I was a kid, and then I just never felt compelled to check it out. I tried reading one of the books, but it didn’t make much sense. I think it was the Order Of the Phoenix?”

“Of course it didn’t make sense, it’s right in the middle of the series!” Eleanor laughs. “You need to read it in order!”

When she stops speaking, it all feels quieter than before.

“Maybe I will then,” Zaire smiles, reaching for a hand towel, at the same time as Eleanor. Their fingers brush, and Eleanor nearly jumps. Is this normal to Zaire? She doesn’t know if the tension and chemistry is one sided. When they’re finished with the last of the dishes, Zaire wishes Eleanor a good night, and leaves to catch the late bus. Eleanor makes her way to her car, and sits in the seat for a moment, going over everything that just happened. She smiles to herself, shakes her head, and turns the keys to get the engine started.

It’s two days before Zaire gets to see Eleanor again, and she passes the time listening to poppy, bright music and checking facebook, where she and Eleanor have recently added each other as friends. When Monday finally rolls around, you wouldn’t have known anything had happened on Friday, save for Eleanor and Zaire’s private smiles. By the end of Zaire’s shift with Daisy, Daisy starts talking about a party she’s hosting, and invites Zaire along. She adds that all the volunteers are invited, which puts a new batch of butterflies in Zaire’s stomach.

The week leading up to Daisy’s party is relatively calm, and Eleanor feels a tingle in her chest when she hears Zaire saying she’ll be at the party. On Saturday night, she goes through her drawers and wardrobe, eventually settling on a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt. The volunteers are supposed to change into hospital scrubs during shifts, and she’s hoping to come across as gay as she could. Which is how she dresses generally. At six thirty, she went into the kitchen and grabs a six pack of muffins, then gets in the car and makes her way to the address Daisy had sent.

Zaire is early to the party, and despite Daisy insisting it’s fine, she feels awkward. She’s wearing a green dress, nothing fancy, but nice enough. She’s also brought a bottle of sparkling grape juice, as she isn’t a huge drinker, and the bottle sits alone on the table. Daisy has gone off into the kitchen, leaving Zaire alone, also. She wants to help Daisy set up, but she’s already told her she’s fine with her just waiting. Maybe she just doesn’t want to make conversation with Zaire. Regardless, she is stuck sitting on a lavender coloured couch, with her phone.

When Eleanor gets to Daisy’s house, people have already started drinking, even though it’s only 7 at night, and Zaire is seated in between Dave and a giggly brunette. She doesn’t look unhappy, exactly, just out of place. Eleanor wipes her hands on her jeans, seeing Zaire’s dress. She looks beautiful. Eleanor walks over to the couch, ignoring the nervous feeing that arises, that always arises around large groups of people. It’s not what you could call a small party. “Hey,” she says, trying to sound casual.

“Hey,” Zaire replies, a small smile appearing on her face.

“Um,” Eleanor says, and Zaire frowns a little. “Are you okay?” “I’m- I just-“

Zaire gets up and shows Eleanor to the back door. No one is out there yet, so they have the cool and quiet night to themselves.

“Hey,” Zaire says, in a tone that Eleanor has never heard her use.

Concern.

“What’s up?” She scans Eleanor’s face, and Eleanor is surprised to feel a tingly feeling in her chest, despite her anxiety. And then, oh god. Zaire is seeing her freak out. She turns away, embarrassed, and Zaire takes her arm, gently. “Hey. It’s okay. You’re okay,” she says softly, and Eleanor forces herself to look back at her, and tries to breathe normally.

“Hey. Hey. Just take, take one breath in, and hold it in for three seconds.” Eleanor complies.

“Okay, now let it out slowly, for three seconds.”

She does, her heart already beating a little more normally.

“Now do a little kind of sigh, to push it out more, but gently.”

After a few more breaths, Eleanor’s head feels dizzy, and she looks for somewhere to sit. Zaire sits next to her on the grass, and Eleanor suddenly remembers, somewhere in her mind, that it’s winter, and Zaire just took her into the freezing cold air, stayed out there, despite only wearing a dress, and helped her. The realisation is still sinking in when she sees Zaire shivering slightly. She wants to kick herself, why didn’t she bring a jacket? She could have offered it to her. Instead, Zaire lies back and looks up at the sky. Eleanor follows, her head softly hitting the damp grass. The sky is going dark, as it does around winter, and stars are starting to appear- just a few, so excited that they can’t wait for the sky to go completely dark. Too excited to shine.

It's quiet, but comfortably so, and Eleanor can hear every breath Zaire takes, every move she makes. She rolls her head on her side so she can look at her. Her voice comes out unexpectedly.

“Why do you always tie your hair up?”

Zaire looks surprised at the question, but replies. “It’s just easier to deal with, I guess. It’s a bit… wild.”

“I wanna see.” Eleanor wasn’t planning on saying those words, but the second they’re out she realises it’s true. She does want to see it. Zaire rolls onto her stomach to look at Eleanor. “Really?”

Eleanor nods.

“You’re sure?”

“God, how bad is it?” Eleanor asks, and Zaire laughs. Then she sits up, straightens her back, and starts to pull the tie from her hair. Eleanor is in awe as the dark locks tumble down around her shoulders, lively and, as Zaire said, wild.

“So, what’s the verdict?” Zaire asks, finally looking up at Eleanor. “Too wild?” A shy smile, bright eyes, and that wild hair.

“I.” Eleanor wants to say something, anything, but words are failing. She’s overcome by Zaire’s beauty. All she wants is to reach over, pull her in, and meet her lips with her own. She shakes her head. Not worth the risk. She swallows and replies, “It’s lovely.”

 After the volunteers’ first month at the shelter, Zaire sends Eleanor a message. It’s late, or early, depending on your view, and she can’t sleep.

“Hey.”

Her phone makes a buzzing noise.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Can’t sleep.”

“Me neither… you wanna talk?” “Sure.” “Can you believe it’s been a month since we started volunteering?”

“I know, it feels like forever. Especially when I’m cleaning up cat pee.”

“How come you’re volunteering if you hate it so much?”

“I don’t hate it. And I don’t know. I wanted to meet more people, I guess.”

“And what do you think of the people you’ve met?”

Is that flirting?

“You’re cool. I feel like I’ve known you a long time. Daisy’s cool, but I don’t think she likes me much.”

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t know, she just seems to act weird around me. I don’t know, maybe she’s just like that.”

“Did you know she has a thing for Dav?”

“*Dave.”

“Really?” “Yeah.”

“Huh.”

“What about you?” “Not my type.”

“I mean, are you seeing anyone?” “No. How about you?”

Zaire’s heart beats hard as she awaits Eleanor’s answer.

“No. I was talking to this girl a while ago, but it didn’t work out.”

“Oh.”

“I have to go to sleep now, but it was great talking to you J see you tomorrow.”

 It’s on Wednesday that Eleanor finally says something.

“Hey, Zaire,” she calls, trying to be quiet so she doesn’t scare the cats. Not that Penny got scared of anything.

“Yeah?” Zaire comes over to where Eleanor is crouching, feeding the cats.

“I was wondering. If sometime, you wanted to, I don’t know, get a coffee or something? Or just hang out? Um, yeah,” she finishes pathetically.

Zaire is smiling when Eleanor finally looks up.

“I’d like that. Yeah.”

 ONE YEAR LATER

Zaire’s phone goes off, the opening lines of All Star. She checks it, and sees a text. “Nearly there! :)” Zaire smiles and puts the phone down as Penny nips at her toe. She and Eleanor have adopted a few cats, including bad-tempered Penny, who, as it turns out, just needed some love. She didn’t think she was a cat person, but she’d fallen in love with them.

The door is suddenly pulled open, as Eleanor rushes in, her scarf making her almost unrecognizable, like the first time Zaire saw her. Zaire smiles at the memory, and Eleanor dumps shopping bags on the floor, and meets Zaire for a kiss. Zaire closes her eyes, smiling into it, her arms around Eleanor’s back, holding her. Around them, she hears a cat meow and feels another rub up against her leg, and she’s never felt so content.

 The End.

[trvlbug]

Summer Chill-Out - US road trip recap

How this all started

I was sitting in Tucson during June 2017, enduring a major Arizona heatwave. It hit 115 degrees in Tucson, and the only saving grace was that we weren't in Phoenix, which got up to 124!

I'd been trying to work on some Zennie projects, but it was so dang hot that by 8am it was already too much for me. And work goes slowly doing 2 hours a day!

Eventually, I came to my senses and said to myself: "Girl, why are you still here? Does your house not have wheels?"

Uh, yeah. It was definitely time for a US road trip!

My first thought was to get to some mountains, FAST, in search of high elevations, tall pine trees, and brisk alpine air. What a heavenly thought, when you're sweltering the days away in the Arizona summer heat...

Ah... to be up in the cool mountain air again!

The Road Trip Plan

Road trip theme: Chill out!

My major goal was to escape the heat and get into the mountains.

This is the advantage of having a mobile lifestyle -- the chance to go wherever the weather is good, rather than having to endure a place you'd rather not be.

You can work WITH the weather, turning it to your advantage. High Colorado mountains in the summer, sunny Arizona deserts in the winter. Living in Zennie means I can travel with the seasons, like migratory tribes of days gone by.

But any smart migratory tribes would have been long gone and it was time for me to get moving!

Looking at maps - one of my favorite activities!

I pored over maps (one of my favorite things to do!), and decided to head east to New Mexico. I thought maybe a couple of weeks around Ruidoso and Cloudcroft would make a nice Summer Chill-Out getaway.

And I'm sure that's true -- they would have made a nice cool getaway! But things didn't turn out quite the way I envisioned...

The Road Trip Reality

Instead of 2 weeks in southern New Mexico, I ended up spending 84 days in 5 western states. And in all that time, I never did make it to Ruidoso and Cloudcroft!

I got off track almost immediately, detouring up to Taos to meet a friend. Other detours took me to Pagosa Springs and Durango to meet friends, and up to Wyoming for the solar eclipse.

Detours or not, for most of this road trip, the "Chill-out" theme worked well. I meandered through the mountains of New Mexico, Colorado, and Wyoming, enjoying spectacular scenery and nice cool temperatures. The days were delightful!

BUT... At that point in 2017, there was a lot of news about Bears Ears National Monument being on the chopping block. People said that the Trump administration would probably decide to eliminate it or scale it way back.

So, I decided I had to go there IMMEDIATELY!

Who cares if it's still 100+ degrees in Utah? I may never get this chance again, so it's back into the furnace we go...

Utah is amazing, but HOT this time of year! So much for "chill-out"!

The Road Trip Route

As you can see from the map, this is a meandering route, which bears little resemblance to a path somebody would plan for getting from one place to another!

Route for Zennie's 2017 "Summer Chill-Out" road trip

I was really playing it by ear, deciding week by week and day by day where to go next. This is my favorite way to travel, staying open to opportunities, and making last-minute decisions. It's a lot of fun, but nobody would say it's an efficient way to cover the miles!

Top 3 Highlights

Total eclipse at the Tetons. The total solar eclipse of 2017 was in many people's travel plans this summer, as it traveled all the way across the United States. Folks from around the country flocked to places in the "Zone of totality" for the event.

. I tried to resist. I had this sinking feeling that I'd drive all the way from southern Colorado up into Wyoming to see the eclipse, only to find that it was raining that day and we couldn't see a thing.

2 photos about 15 min apart: before and during the total eclipse

Eventually, I decided to go anyway, though my expectations were low. Was I ever wrong!! Our location right outside Grand Teton National Park provided a spectacular backdrop, and the eclipse itself was amazing! It's one of the most memorable events I've seen. . And Zennie got to hang out with her special friend George, too!

Zennie and her friend George got in on the eclipse action, too!

Bears Ears and Canyonlands. Utah has some of the most amazing scenery anywhere! I'm including these two areas together because of the overlap. At the moment (before any chopping of Bears Ears by the current government), Canyonlands National Park shares a border with Bears Ears. In fact, when I was visiting Canyonlands, little did I realize that a couple of my favorite boondocking sites right outside the park were actually in Bears Ears!

Overlooking Canyonlands, from a perfect boondocking spot in Bears Ears

Anyway, both of these areas feature beautiful twisty canyons, incredible rock formations with spires and bridges, and amazing hiking (as you might imagine)! Bears Ears also has a wealth of historic sites with ancient ruins and cliff dwellings. . I could happily spend a month or more exploring this corner of Utah. There is a ton to see, and more hiking trails than I'd get to in a lifetime. But next time, I'll pick a cooler month!

A month in New Mexico. Before I started hightailing it north to meet friends in Colorado, I was just meandering for a month around New Mexico. I started in the Gila area in the southwest corner, and went all the way to a ghost town with family ties in the northeast. . But most of the month was spent looping up, down, and all around northern New Mexico and the area around Santa Fe and Taos. I found myself back at Wild Rivers (Rio Grande del Norte National Monument) a few times, since I like it so much that every time I went near, it drew me in with its powerful magnetic force. I'm pretty sure I'll be back there again someday, perhaps for some backpacking!

At Wild Rivers, sitting on the rim of the Rio Grande Gorge

Top Lowlight

This was a tough decision....

* Should I pick the fact that the solar panels failed and had to be replaced? My theory is that they were damaged by the expansion of the metal roof in Tucson's extreme heat wave, but that's another story...

* Or perhaps the blowout on a lonely highway in Utah, which also bent my exhaust and bashed in a storage compartment? If it wasn't for that good samaritan who helped me out, but that's another story...

Nope, the winner for Top Lowlight is (drum roll)...

A mouse! And then another, and another... I had Zennie about a year before getting the first mouse in my house, but there it was. It's hard to explain why this is worse than a blowout, but it totally freaked me out, having this furry little creature sharing my space!

Yikes! There is a mouse in my motorhome!

I had a real battle on my hands to get rid of the mouse in my RV. And once I finally got rid of the first mouse, another appeared a couple of weeks later, and then another less than a week after that! . I had to learn a lot about mouse removal and prevention, which I wish had never been necessary. Just thinking about it now gives me shivers down my spine, and I seriously hope to never have to deal with this again. I've put in quite a bit of mouse prevention work, but in spite of my best efforts, there will probably come a day when I hear those furtive little noises in the night. No, please no!

Key places

Gila National Forest. This is a large national forest in southwestern New Mexico, and it's one of my favorites. It's high enough to be significantly cooler than the lowlands, though there aren't the altitudes you see in Colorado. The Gila River and its branches run through, and there are many miles of hiking trails to explore. A few of the places I camped in the Gila were Cattlemen Trail, The Forks, and Apache Creek.

Cliffs rise above the Gila River

Carson National Forest. This forest covers a large swath of northern New Mexico, and I looped around it a few times. The High Road from Santa Fe to Taos passes through this forest, and much of the area north of Taos is part of it, too. The mountains are higher up here, and once again, there's enough here to explore that it could take forever.

Sweet little boondocking spot in New Mexico's Carson National Forest

Great Sand Dunes National Park. When I think of Colorado, I see snow-capped peaks of the Rocky Mountains. But oddly enough, in this one portion of the mountain chain, the area below the peaks is full of giant sand dunes. These look like they should be in the Sahara, not the Rockies! It's a unique and special place, and certainly worth a visit.

View from the top of the High Dune

Grand Teton National Park. Simply spectacular! I'd only been here in the winter before, so this was my first chance to get up close and personal with the mountains and do some hiking. Even if the eclipse had been rained out as I feared, it would have been worth the trip up here just for the hiking and wildlife viewing. I saw moose, bear, bison, coyotes, deer and antelope. The mountains themselves are stunning, and it was some of the most gorgeous hiking I've done in years.

Hiking in Grand Teton National Park was simply stunning!

Canyonlands / Bears Ears. I talked about these above, and don't have much more to say except that they are amazing! I believe that the special features of Bears Ears deserve the National Monument protections that they currently have, and I'm so sad that it seems it will be dismantled soon. I'd rather see these beautiful places protected for the public's enjoyment, wildlife and historical preservation, and future generations, than opened up for mining companies. I'm just glad I got to see it before that happens.

Valley of the Gods, in Bears Ears National Monument

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PHOTO CREDITS: Mouse - Martyn Fletcher, All other photos - Deanna Keahey

The post Summer Chill-Out - US road trip recap appeared first on Uphill Zen.

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