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#i like the way my apartment is set up and i don't like having to move things constantly so he doesn't play with them or throw up on them
iamred-iamyellow · 3 days
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⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ Dancing in the Courthouse
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♥ masterlist | request rules | part of my 1k event
♥ pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader
♥ synopsis: In 2021 you and oscar decided to elope due to your unpredictable schedules. now that you have more stability in your life, you were able to throw a dream wedding with the man you loved most in the world.
♥ smau + written - as always none of the pictures are mine <3
♥ warnings: swearing !!!
♥ a/n: first fic apart of the 1k event!
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-Paris, 2021-
The streets of Paris were bustling as you took a seat in your Uber. You could hear a Taylor Swift song playing faintly on the car's radio as you pulled out your phone.
You
hey osc I'm on my way back
Oscar checked the notification and panicked a little internally. He slipped the device back into his dress pants and shook his hands.
"Relax, tout ira bien," Estie assured Oscar. (translation: everything will be fine)
He sighed and turned towards the two French men, "Are you sure?"
All Pierre did was laugh.
"Call me when it's over," Pierre said with a smirk and guided Esteban out the door, into an elevator.
You were in France on a girls night out with your best friend Kika, whom you met through Formula 1. Little did the two of you know that Pierre and Esteban snuck over to your hotel room in order to help Oscar set up a surprise.
You tapped your keycard on your hotel door and called out your boyfriend's name. You set your purse down on a small marble table and kicked off your heels, making your way through the main room.
A small trail of pink rose petals guided you to the terrace causing your heartbeat to pick up.
Was this really happening?
You opened the glass doors to find more rose petals surrounding the floor and a very handsome Oscar. You strode over to him in complete shock until he grabbed your hands in his.
"Y/n you have been my best friend for as long as I can remember," he said as his thumb drew circles on one of your fingers. "You have stood by me since the beginning of my career and I could never imagine a life without you. I know we don't get to spend as much time together as we'd like to, but that is why I wanted to do this today."
He slowly got down on one knee in front of you and pulled out a black velvet box to reveal a silver ring.
"Will you marry me?"
You squatted down to his height and mumbled, "Is that even a question?"
You cupped his face in your hands and kissed him gently, "Yes of course I will."
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
-July 4, 2024-
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, lilymhe, and 300,572 more
ynln london girl
📸 creds: @/oscarpiastri
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user1 lmao the oscar picture creds
oscarpiastri I risked my life for that first pic
ynln @/oscarpiastri you were on another balcony?
user3 if anyone risked their life for that picture it's Alex
user2 speaking of alex she looks SO pretty there
carlossainz55 red nails for ferrari
ynln anything for you carlitos 😽
iamrebeccad so so true and real
user4 pretties
user9 lets all manifest an oscar win for this weekend
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
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✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
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liked by oscarpiastri, nicolepiastri, hattiepiastri, and 1,481,583 more
ynpiastri oops I guess the cat is out of the bag huh! the rumors are in fact true, oscar and I are married. we have been trying to keep it a secret since our elope in 2021, but it seems as though I slipped up with a photo on my insta. at least it was the perfect timing for the reception we're throwing this summer 🥰
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nicolepiastri see you at the sequel wedding!!
ynpiastri <3
user1 ...sorry?
user8 PARDON
user12 THEY'RE ACTUALLY MARRIED
user2 POOKIE YOU CANT JUST POST A SHIRTLESS OSCAR LIKE THAT
user7 her username change I am so endeared
mclaren how many of you knew...
logansargeant I did
alexandrasaintmleux I did
charles_leclerc I did
landonorris I DIDNT?!?!
landonorris @/oscarpiastri how come charles knew before me
charles_leclerc @/landonorris he's my son???
iamrebeccad I'm so happy for you!
ynpiastri tysm becks 🥹🫶
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
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liked by pierregasly, oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, and 123,740 more
wagupdates the girlies pulling up to the belgian paddock
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user1 the color scheme 🛐
user2 PLS did they plan this for y/n’s wedding?
wagupdates @/user2 we think so!!
oscarpiastri I guess I need to step up my fashion game
charles_leclerc @/oscarpiastri I can help 😁
ynpiastri @/charles_leclerc no you cannot
user7 I love them
user4 they're GORGEOUS
francolapinto 😘
user8 ITS MR STEAL YOUR GIRL
user3 HAHAHA
user9 FRANCO Y/N IS MARRIED
charles_leclerc @/francocolapinto Te sugiero que elijas sabiamente tus próximas palabras (I suggest you choose your next words wisely)
francolapinto sorry sorry! its a joke its a joke 😅
user10 the threatening spanish 😭
carlossainz55 @/user10 I taught him that
fernandoalo_oficial @/carlossainz55 and I taught YOU that
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
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✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
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liked by pierregasly, ynpiastri, carmenmundt, and 563,885 more
francisca.cgomes rich bitch energy
tagged; @/ynpiastri @/alexandrasaintmleux
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user1 are you shopping for dresses
francisca.cgomes mayybbe
ynpiastri GORGEOUS
francisca.cgomes NO YOU 😚
aussiegrit @/nicolepiastri do i get to walk oscar down the aisle
nicolepiastri no 😐
charles_leclerc that’s right because i am
user2 the family seating is gonna go crazy lol
user5 so what’s the dog situation?
landonorris bark
ynpiastri @/landonorris NO 😭
user5 I MEANT LEO AND ROSCOE 💀
ynpiastri @/user5 leo we know is definitely going to be there! 🥰
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
-Wedding Day-
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liked by alex_albon, maxverstappen1, carlossainz55, and 1,749,053 more
ynpiastri 💍
tagged; @/francisca.cgomes
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danielricciardo 🥹
pierregasly vous êtes tous les deux magnifiques (you both look gorgeous)
user6 the fact that kika is her maid of honor
user7 IM NOT CRYING
user4 the venue is STUNNING
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
There was a salty ocean breeze on a cliff-side of Monaco, the place you and Oscar picked for the wedding.
There were dozens of familiar faces along with beautiful greenery and pastel flowers decorating the space.
You were sat at your table with your husband Oscar as the toast’s began to start.
“Hi,” someone said into the mic with a smile. “I’m Kika.”
There were a few soft laughs from the crowd. She pulled a piece of paper out of her gold-colored dress.
“When I found out you eloped without me that day in Paris my first thought was ‘fuck you’.” she said causing some more chuckles to come from the guests.
“It was only because I wouldn’t get the chance to give you the speech I had planned—but here we are today and I’m so glad I finally get to say it. Over these past couple years you have been my best friend, in and outside the paddock. I have so much love for you and I couldn’t be happier for your relationship with Oscar.”
You got up from your seat and hugged her, eliciting a few ‘aws’ from the room.
Lando stood up next with the mic, “Oscar was the guy on the grid no one could shut the up about,” Lando spoke into the mic and everyone laughed. “I didn’t get it at first, but then I met him, and I got it. And I felt the same when I met Y/n. You two are lucky to have each other. Congrats, mate.”
He raised his glass of champagne causing everyone to clink their glasses and cheer.
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liked by lewishamilton, aussiegrit, nicolepiastri, and 1,937,954 more
ynpiastri wifey
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user1 this is so cunty
wagupdates we heard that y/n’s heel broke and oscar had to carry her to the car (hence the last picture) 😭
user7 she is SO pretty
patriciooward great to see you again osc!
user6 I. LOVE. THEM.
user2 omg they’re so hot
user3 y/n’s outfits today >>>
lilymhe the reception was beautiful
ynpiastri <3
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ginkgooou · 5 hours
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dance lessons | alexia putellas
summary: you and alexia try dancing.
this one took a while; i rewrote it like three times before i was finally happy with it. i'm no expert in dancing, but i tried my best to describe the moves. i hope you enjoy! feel free to send feedback or requests. 😄
english is not my first language.
4,272 words
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
you were out with alba, leisurely strolling through the city, when you came across two people handing out flyers. as you were about to walk past, one of them stepped forward, stopping you with a friendly smile.
“hey, do you two want to try a dance class?”, the woman asked you, offering you a flyer.
alba just shook her head. “no, thank you.”
you stopped, intrigued, taking the flyer from her hand and looking over it. it seemed like a fun idea, something you could do with alexia - an opportunity to try something new together.
as you skimmed the paper, the lady explained, “we teach ballroom and latin dances. it's for beginners, so anyone can join. you can sign up online if you're interested. the website's on the flyer.”
you nodded thoughtfully, looking up at her with a small smile. “thank you. i'll think about it.”
with that, you turned to alba, who linked her arm with yours as you walked away. she gave you a knowing look. “you sure ale will do it with you?”
with a smirk, you replied, “i have my ways.”
well, your way was simply signing both you and alexia up for the course without telling her. after three years together, you knew your girlfriend very well and you knew if you'd asked her, she would've immediately said no.
alexia loved her routines, finding comfort in the structure of her days. they gave her a sense of control in a world that often felt too chaotic.
you understood that and respected it, but every now and then, you'd try to pull her out of her comfort zone a little. a new restaurant, an unexpected detour through the city or, when time allowed, a spontaneous road trip - just small things. it was always a struggle to get her to agree to your ideas. alexia could be very stubborn, but you always found a way to persuade her.
you knew that this time would be particularly difficult as it wasn't a one-time thing like usual; the dance course would last over several weeks. you could already picture your girlfriend's grumpy face, insisting she didn't want to go, claiming that she had football and no time for something like this.
but, you'd already made a plan.
first, you decided that instead of ordering in, you'd make dinner. you settled on cooking pasta with the homemade sauce that she liked so much, hoping it would put her in a good mood.
you had just started on the sauce when you heard the soft click of the front door echoing through the apartment. it was quickly followed by the muffled sound of footsteps and the soft thud of alexia's bag being dropped on the floor.
a few moments later, you felt your girlfriend's strong arms wrap around your waist, her familiar warmth bringing a smile to your face. she placed a gentle kiss on your shoulder before resting her head there with a soft sigh.
“hola, mi amor. i missed you.”, she mumbled, her voice tinged with fatigue.
turning your head slightly, you gave her a quick peck on her lips, whispering, “missed you too. how was training?”
“good. lots of things to work on.”, she replied.
as you continued making the sauce, alexia stayed wrapped around you, watching you cook. “ale?”, you said gently.
she hummed in response, letting you know she was listening.
“why don't you go shower? dinner will be ready soon.”
alexia just pressed herself closer, burying her head in your neck, making you chuckle at her clinginess. “baby, come on.”
“vale.”, your girlfriend grumbled, clearly reluctant to let go. with a sigh, she finally released her hold on you and headed upstairs.
while she showered, you finished preparing dinner and began setting the table. you were just plating the food, when you heard alexia coming back downstairs.
you looked up to see your girlfriend padding into the kitchen, her wet hair falling over her shoulders, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants.
“it smells amazing, amor.”, she said, coming over and kissing your cheek. you smiled at her, turning back to the plates. “go sit down. i'll be right over.”
alexia nodded and made her way to the table, taking a seat and pouring two glasses of water.
once you finished plating, you walked over, setting the dishes on the table before sitting down beside her.
both of you eagerly dug in, conversation flowing effortlessly throughout the meal. between bites, alexia recounted her day, telling you about the intense drills, funny moments with her teammates and the interview she had to do while also asking about your day.
once you finished dinner, the conversation and you watched as the tension slowly melted away from her shoulders. her tone became lighter and more relaxed. you knew this was the perfect moment to bring up the dance class.
you glanced at her with a smile. “oh, i forgot to tell you! i was out with alba today. we went for lunch and then just wandered around.”, you began casually. “funny story, actually - we walked past some people handing out flyers.”, you continued, chuckling nervously as you watched your girlfriend closely.
alexia eyed you with suspicion. “what did you do?”, she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“well.”, you started, clearing your throat, “they were promoting their dance classes. i checked out the website - it looks really cool and professional.” you paused, grinning excitedly at alexia, “so, i signed us up for the course! it starts on monday.”
“no.”, your girlfriend said immediately, shaking her head. “no, no, no. we are not doing that.” you laughed at her instant refusal, expecting nothing less.
“come on, ale. it'll be fun.”, you urged, trying to convince her.
“no! i don't have time. i have football.”, alexia argued, crossing her arms defiantly. “sorry, amor, but it's just not happening.”
you sighed, giving her your best puppy dog eyes. “please? for me?”
your girlfriend quickly looked away, knowing she would crumble if she looked at you much longer. “..no.”, she repeated, but her voice lacked the firmness it had before.
sensing she just needed one more little push, you proceeded with part two of your plan.
you scooted back and stood up, alexia's eyes following you as you moved to straddle her lap, your arms wrapping around her shoulders while hers instinctively fell to your hips. she slightly leaned back in her chair, making room for you.
you slowly leaned in, lips nearly touching. “please?”, you asked again, your lips brushing hers.
you could see alexia's resolve wavering and you knew you almost had her. closing the distance between you, you pressed your lips softly against hers. when you pulled away, your girlfriend chased your lips, clearly not ready for the kiss to end yet.
“for me, baby?”, you asked again, a smile forming on your lips.
alexia opened her eyes, gazing up at you. after a few seconds of silence, she sighed dramatically. “i hate you.”
your grin only widened. “so you'll go with me?”
“yes.”, she grumbled, rolling her eyes. “but i don't like it.”
“thank you, thank you, thank you!”, you squealed, showering her face with kisses. your girlfriend tried to keep a straight face, but she couldn't suppress the wide smile spreading on her lips.
it was monday evening, just before 6 pm, and the dance studio was filled with people. you stood near the back, surrounded by couples who were much older than you, their chatter filling the air. shifting nervously, you glanced at the door for what felt like the hundredth time.
alexia was late.
you two had agreed to come here separately, since your girlfriend had a late interview. she had assured you she would make it, but as the clock crept closer to 6, doubt started to creep in.
when it was time for the lesson to start, the two instructors, a woman with a warm smile and a tall man with black hair, stepped forward.
“hello everyone and welcome to the course! i'm isabella and this is my partner, luis.”, the woman said enthusiastically, her voice carrying across the room. “over the next few weeks, we'll be teaching you how to dance.”
you were trying to listen, but your thoughts kept wandering to alexia. as isabella started to explain a bit more about the class, the door suddenly swung open. your girlfriend burst through, slightly out of breath, still wearing her training kit.
“lo siento!”, she called out, blushing as she realized that everyone was looking at her. for a second, she scanned the room, her gaze darting past the curious looks before landing on you.
a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips as your girlfriend hurried over, weaving through the people. when she reached you, she leaned in for a quick kiss. “i'm sorry.”, she whispered apologetically. “i didn't mean to be this late. the interview took longer than expected.”
you smiled at her, shaking your head. “it's fine. you're here now.”
alexia sighed, running a hand through her hair as she looked around, clearly feeling out of place in her kit. “i didn't have time to change.”, she muttered, tugging at the hem of her shirt.
“don't worry about it.”, you said softly, taking her hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.
someone clearing their throat beside you interrupted your whispering. you turned to see an older man giving you both a disapproving look. “could you stop talking? we're trying to listen.”, he said, sounding annoyed.
“sorry, we'll stop.”, you quickly apologized, flashing him a polite smile.
though, when you turned to your girlfriend and your eyes met hers, you let out a giggle. alexia couldn't suppress a grin, quietly shushing you and gesturing to the front.
you tuned back in just in time to catch isabella's last words. "so, our first dance will be a slow waltz," she began with a smile. "but before we begin, let's go over the hold."
she turned to luis, who took her hand in his as they stepped into position. he placed his right hand gently on isabella’s shoulder blade, while she rested her left hand on his upper arm. their free hands met between them. “the lead,” he explained, “places his right hand on the follow’s back, just here, and the follow’s left hand goes on the lead’s arm. your other hands meet, like so.” they turned in a circle so everyone could see clearly. they invited you to try it out, moving through the room and giving tips when needed.
“okay! now to the box step. it is really simple.”, isabella said. “the lead steps forward with their left foot. the follow steps back with their right.”
on cue, they moved, their feet sweeping across the floor in perfect synchronization. “step forward,” luis said, narrating his movement, “then side with the right foot, and bring your left foot to your right. then, you’ll step back with the right foot, side with the left, and close the feet again. that completes the box.”
you shifted your weight slightly, looking at alexia, who was staring at the instructors as if this dance was a tactical briefing before a big match. her brow was furrowed in concentration, which made you grin.
after they had showed you the movement a few more times, isabella smiled encouragingly at the class. “now, it’s time for you to try. we’ll walk around and help you.”
you turned to alexia, a playful glint in your eye. “so,” you began, raising an eyebrow, “who’s going to lead?”
your girlfriend chuckled, moving closer with a confident grin. “me, of course.” she tried to get into position, placing her hand on your shoulder blade, but you stepped back, not ready to give up just yet.
“but what if i want to lead?”, you asked hopefully. alexia shook her head. “no, i lead. no arguments.”
you huffed, pouting slightly as you mumbled, “so not fair.”
with a sigh, you finally let her step closer and take hold of you while you rested your hand on her upper arm. you could feel the warmth of her hand against your back, and despite your earlier protest, an excited smile crept on your face. “well, then. lead the way, capitana.”, you told her, laughing as she shot you an annoyed look at the nickname.
as it came to trying the steps, you could feel alexia’s earlier confidence beginning to waver slightly. she bit her lip, glancing down at her feet, and then stepped forward with her left. you weren’t ready yet and stumbled a little as you quickly tried to follow her lead and move backward, but you couldn’t hold your balance and accidentally stepped on her toes.
“oops, sorry!”, you blurted out, pulling back.
alexia just shook her head, a hint of embarrassment coloring her cheeks. “no, it was my fault.”, she said, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. “okay. let’s try again.”
you both repositioned yourselves and tried again. this time, you were ready and as she took a step forward, you moved back with your right foot, staying in the rhythm. alexia was incredibly focused, her brows furrowed in concentration.
“forward, side, close.”, she murmured to herself, following the steps. the determination in her eyes made you smile, but you could also feel the tension in her body. “hey, ale.”, you said softly, catching her attention. when she looked up at you, you continued, “try to relax. this is just for fun.”
your girlfriend took a deep breath, trying to let go of the pressure. “you’re right. just for fun.”, she replied, smiling at you.
after a few minutes, isabella made her way over to you. “good! that’s good.”, she praised, offering a warm smile. “but try not to look down at your feet. keep your eyes on each other or look over the left shoulder.” she gestured for you to step closer together. “you can also move closer together. it will help you feel the movements and make it easier to follow the lead.”
you and alexia nodded, moving closer, and got back into position. your eyes met and a soft smile passed between you. when alexia stepped forward this time, you could feel the shift in her weight, making it easier to anticipate her next move. the closeness made everything smoother, as if you were more in tune with each other.
“that's much better!”, isabella remarked before moving on to help the next couple.
after the first successful attempt, you tried the box step again. but it was alexia who faltered this time, accidentally stepping on your toes. “i'm so sorry.”, she muttered, her cheeks flushing as her gaze shifted over your shoulder, embarrassed. “it's just…”, she trailed off, meeting your eyes for a brief second before quickly looking down at her feet. “it's hard to concentrate with you so close.”, your girlfriend admitted softly, biting her lip.
you smiled at her confession, finding it incredibly endearing that even after all this time, you still had this effect on her. you couldn't help but press a quick kiss to her cheek. “i love you.”, you told her as you pulled away, catching the soft smile that lit up her face.
alexia's hand pressed gently against your back, drawing you closer, her eyes sparkling with affection. “te quiero.”, she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper, making your heart flutter.
suddenly, luis’ voice cut through, interrupting the moment between you. “alright, now that everyone's practiced the box step, let's learn the turning box.”, he announced, moving to the front of the room. “isabella and i will demonstrate.”
alexia cleared her throat and let go of you, turning her attention to the instructors.
luis took a moment to position himself with isabella. “the lead steps forward with the left foot, but this time, instead of moving straight, you'll turn slightly to the left.”, he began, showcasing the first move.
“as you step to the side with the right foot, your body should turn about 90° to the left.”, he continued, guiding isabella through the movement. “then, step with the left foot next to the right.”
they showed you the turns a few more times, with isabella also guiding you through the follow's role. as the demonstration concluded, luis turned to you all with a smile. “now it's your turn again.”
you and alexia quickly got back into position. “ready?”, your girlfriend asked, looking at you with a soft smile. “yes”, you answered.
you tried it slowly, wanting to get a feel for the added movement. it worked surprisingly well; you barely had to think about it as alexia confidently led you into the turn.
alexia was focused on the steps, murmuring them quietly under her breath. with each turn, you got more comfortable, feeling more confident in your steps.
encouraged by how well it worked, alexia picked up the pace a little and soon, you were gliding across the floor. just as you executed a smooth turn, you suddenly became aware of another couple moving in the opposite direction.
before you could react, you collided with them - your shoulder bumping into the man's side while alexia accidentally stepped on the woman's toes.
“oh no, sorry!”, alexia exclaimed, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. you, on the other hand, struggled to keep your laughter in as you turned to the couple, who looked just as surprised, but quickly joined you in the laughter. the man shook his head, waving off the mishap with a hrin. “it happens to the best of us.”
once you repositioned yourselves, you began anew, alexia now more aware of her surroundings. but the collision seemed to have made her relax more, smiling slightly while continuing to dance.
when luis approached, he smiled brightly at you. “that's really good!”, he said, nodding with approval. “keep it up!” the praise filled you with confidence and when you looked at alexia, you found her beaming with delight, her eyes sparkling with pride.
after a few more minutes, isabella moved to the sound system and put on music. “now, let's try it with music.”, she said enthusiastically.
as the melody of a slow waltz filled the room, everything changed. the soft notes wrapped around you, making the steps feel more fluid and natural, the rythm guiding your movements. alexia's confidence grew with every turn, leading you through the dance seamlessly.
you spent the remainder of the class learning more about the waltz, with luca and isabella showing you new steps here and there.
as you laid in bed that night, you turned to face her. “so, how did you like the class?”, you asked softly.
alexia shifted slightly, turning her head to meet your gaze in the dark. a small smile tugged at her lips. “i actually liked it.”, she admitted.
you raised an eyebrow, teasing her. “really? that's funny, considering someone didn't want to go at first.”
she chuckled, her hand reaching out to playfully nudge your arm. “yeah, yeah. but, really, it was fun.” her fingers intertwined with yours under the covers.
you grinned, satisfied with her confession. “i told you it would be.”
alexia sighed softly, leaning in to kiss you. “it was only fun because i did it with you.”
you smiled, your heart fluttering at her words. alexia wrapped her arm around your waist and pulled you closer, her warmth lulling you to sleep.
over the next few weeks, you continued going to the dance studio every monday, learning something new each time. throughout the week, you tried to practice as often as you could, but time seemed to always slip away from you.
both of your schedules were packed - alexia busy with training, matches and interviews while you had your own work commitments. it usually ended up with you practicing an hour before having to leave for class. but, despite the lack of practice, you both had improved quite a lot, especially alexia.
you could see your girlfriend's confidence grow with each session, her movements becoming more fluid and graceful. she led you effortlessly through the various dance routines - slow fox, cha-cha and tango - as if she had been dancing for years. she was a natural at this.
at least, that's what it seemed like to you.
one afternoon, you decided to surprise alexia and pick her up from training. you had a free day and since alexia's car was at the mechanic, she needed someone to pick her up.
after parking your car, you made your way over toward the building's entrance. halfway there, the door swung open and the first few girls exited the building. as soon as they spotted you, their faces lit up with excitement, and they rushed over.
“hi! i haven't seen you in sooo long. i've missed you so much.”, claudia said, pulling you into a tight hug.
you smiled warmly, returning the hug. “hey, clau. i missed you, too. work's just been a lot these days.”
after claudia let go, you turned to greet patri and ona with a hug, too. meanwhile, claudia continued talking, “you should visit more often. ale’s so much nicer when you're around.”
you couldn't help but laugh at that, knowing all too well how your girlfriend could get when it came to football. “i'll talk to her.”, you replied with a grin. then, glancing toward the building, you asked, “but speaking of alexia, where is she?”
more players had started to trickle out of the building, but still no sign of your girlfriend. ona was quick to answer your question, “she wanted to do some extra practice. she's still out on the pitch.”
you turned back to the group with a grateful smile. “ah, thank you. i should've known.”, you chuckled. “i guess i'll head in to find her.”
patri grinned, nudging your arm playfully. “you'd better. otherwise, she'll be out there all day.”
you laughed, pulling each of them into a quick hug. “alright, bye guys.”, you said, the three of them echoing your words as you headed toward the building.
inside, you made your way through the familiar hallways, your footsteps quickening as you approached the pitch, the faint sound of voices drifting toward you.
but as you stepped outside, the sight before you made you stop in your tracks.
there was alexia, but instead of practicing football, she was…dancing. and with mapi, of all people. they seemed to be attempting the tango - or at least something that resembled it. your girlfriend was, of course, leading, her movements focused and graceful.
mapi, on the other hand, was clearly less enthusiastic about the whole thing. “why am i doing this? i don't want to do this!”, she complained, barely trying to follow alexia's lead.
your girlfriend, already looking annoyed, sighed in frustration. “you need to be closer. i can't do this if you're standing a mile away from me.”
mapi threw her hands up. “i don't want to be closer, i need my space! i want to be free, not glued to you!”
you stood silently at the edge of the pitch, trying to stifle your laughter as you watched the scene unfold. alexia, determined as always, restarted the routine, but mapi still kept stumbling over the steps. your girlfriend's patience was running thin, the vein on her forehead looking ready to pop.
“come on, mapi. you're not even trying now. is it really so hard to follow a few steps?” her voice rose in frustration. “it's so much easier with ingrid! why do you always have to make everything so difficult!”
“well, i am not ingrid! and i am trying!”, mapi shot back, stamping her foot and refusing to take another step. alexia took a sharp breath, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “dios mio, i've had enough! you are no help.”, she huffed, rolling her eyes. she spun around, ready to storm off the pitch, but then her eyes fell on you.
she froze, looking like a deer caught in headlights. “oh, no.”
you couldn't help the grin that spread across your face as you stepped onto the pitch. “oh, yes.”
alexia blinked, trying to recover. “it's not what it looks like…”
you raised an eyebrow. “it looked like you were trying to dance.”, you teased, coming to a stop in front of her. “so this is what you've been up to?”
alexia blushed, looking everywhere but you, thinking of ways to get out of the situation. “it's just been a few times…”, she mumbled.
but mapi, who clearly had enough, jumped in. “a few times? she's been dragging ingrid into this for weeks! alexia stole my girlfriend - ingrid's always busy with her now. she barely even talks to me at training! and now i had to dance, too.”
you laughed, watching your girlfriend grow more embarrassed by the second. “i see. and you didn't tell me because…?”
alexia ran a hand through her hair, giving you a sheepish smile. “i just… wanted to impress you.”, she murmured quietly.
you chuckled softly, moving closer and cupping her cheek. “you're so silly, my love.”
your girlfriend wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled you closer, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “i'm sorry?”, she said with a crooked smile.
shaking your head, you leaned in to kiss her again, only to be interrupted by loud gagging coming from mapi. “ugh, can you not? this is torture.”
you both laughed, breaking apart as alexia turned to her best friend. “you're one to talk. and just so you know, i'll never dance with you again.”
at that, mapi began to laugh happily. “thank god!”
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
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exceeded caution part 2
first time for everything
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series masterlist
a/n: heyy y’all!! so this is part 2 of exceeded caution. a lot of it follows the actual movie because i needed set-up for ghostface. there’s still a lot of interaction between the reader + sam & tara but some of it is from the first 30 minutes of scream vi essentially.
warnings: violence (gun usage, knife usage), cursing. he/him pronouns for ghostface.
𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩
a few days ago, sam was nowhere near the forefront of your mind. you had stayed with the group as they navigated their way through accepting that ghostface might be back.
you hadn't spoken to tara much, you felt like you wouldn't be any help to her. she didn't need her ex-girlfriend that she only dated out of convenience around her constantly.
instead, the other carpenter sister started to find solace in your presence.
you found yourself over quite a bit, you noticed that they valued strength in numbers. you even all set a rotation between the group for who would cook that week.
during your week to cook, sam insisted on joining you when grocery shopping. as you promised her that she wouldn't be alone, she mentally promised you the same thing.
"it's just a simple beef stroganoff recipe, sam. you really don't have to come." you smiled sheepishly as you pulled up outside her apartment, she was hopping into your passenger seat.
"ghostface won't let a grocery store stop him from taking lives." sam was firm in her words, you sighed in defeat and drove off towards the shops that were only a couple minutes away from her place. you wanted her to feel safe still.
she pushed the cart while you took ingredients off the shelves, mumbling to yourself as you chucked them in the cart.
"tara used to say your food was amazing. where did you learn to cook?" she asked you, you looked away from your list to smile at her.
"my mom, she's amazing at cooking. she gave up her career to support my dad and become a fulltime housewife." you explained. "i used to help her cook all the time."
"that's pretty cool. i find myself never having the time for new foods. i should probably get on that."
"i can teach you some. or make some for you, i like cooking for people." you shrugged, taking another ingredient off the shelves.
sam would normally decline if you were anyone else, but she felt the urge to accept.
"sure. that would be nice." she nodded at you.
sam had enjoyed you being around more often and getting to know you outside of tara. she even found herself calling you a friend.
or rather, she tried to keep it at friend. she was trying to hide the fact that she felt a pull to you, she didn't know how to explain it. although, one thing was sure, there was an element of guilt to it.
she wasn’t the only one feeling guilty. you felt almost dirty with how much you thought of sam. because of the frequency of your contact, you found yourself wanting to see her more.
was this against some form of girl code that you shouldn’t want to hang out with your ex’s sister?
“um… how are you?” she could see that you were nervous to ask her that. “i know you probably get asked that all the time but i never ask… and i want to know.”
“that’s fine. i figured you would get curious. you always seem to be.” sam commented.
“is curiosity bad?” you teased a little, noting her phrasing.
“no! not at all.” she perked up, shaking her head.
“don’t worry sam, i’m joking.” you realised that the carpenter sisters weren’t used to bantering with someone they weren’t extremely close to— or someone they didn’t love.
“right.” she bit her lip. “but no? it’s not bad at all.” she chuckled. “but i’m… not okay?”
you nodded, respecting her answer and silently thanking her for being honest.
“i hoped that we would escape this when we moved. and i’ve been doing everything to protect tara but it didn’t end for sidney prescott— so i assume that it won’t end for us.” she scratched her brow, the stress getting to her. “i’m sorry you got involved.”
“it’s okay, sam. i knew what i was getting into when i dated tara.” you nodded. “if it happened again, i already knew i’d stick around.”
“that’s admirable.”
you felt your heart clench a little when she said that. nobody had ever told you that your desire to stick around was admirable. you always got “clingy” or “overbearing.” that was the first time you’d ever gotten a compliment on it.
“oh! um… thank you.” you stuttered out, a blush flooding your cheeks. you knew that sam meant it too, she wasn’t just saying it to make you feel better. she was genuinely saying it.
“it’s true.” it was.
you tried to push your flustered down into the depths of your mind as you struggled to reach the top shelf with the last of your ingredients. you were definitely taller than tara— everyone was. but not tall enough to face this eight layered shelf.
sam was.
sam was taller. and she made that perfectly clear when she basically pressed up behind you to grab this damn dijon mustard for you.
oh no… oh no… you had to stop those thoughts. you had turned around too quickly, basically coming chest to chest with the girl. she didn’t seem to mind— and you refused to mind.
you had never been this close to her before. your eyes trailed over all her features, taking them in. she looked just like tara… maybe that’s whats got your heart beating at the speed of light.
but she wasn’t tara. no, she was sam. and you found that to be what sealed the deal for you.
you found her pretty.
you remained silent as you finished off the last of the ingredient collection. you walked over to the self check-out, scanning the items as the blush continued to make its presence known as sam hovered.
you shuffled some things around in your pocket to try and find your card but before you knew it, sam was paying for your groceries.
“what—“ you tried to protest but the transaction had gone through already.
sam didn’t know what overcame her.
it was her way of taking care of you.
it was even her way of apologising to you.
"sam, you didn't have to do that." you shook your head at her.
"my treat, i didn't get to cook for everyone so this is my way of contributing." she shook you off. you knew that was a lie because mindy sent you a photo of meals you missed, one being sam's.
there was no undoing it now. you sighed and reached for the bags, but sam was one step ahead of you, grabbing them and walking out of the store.
you wished you could wash the blush off with soap.
𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩
when you arrived for dinner with your groceries. everyone was already at the carpenter’s apartment. they were spread out across the entire floor, conversing with each other.
you got to cooking almost immediately, knowing that everyone had potentially been there for a while. sam left your side to talk to quinn.
you kept feeling eyes on you.
the shorter carpenter sister was talking to mindy when she felt her attention turn away from her and onto you. she watched you cook, she actually always loved your cooking.
she loved when you would make a dinner catered just to her. she actually missed how lively the kitchen used to be when you were in it. you were even dancing around now, your headphones tucked over your ear.
she smiled a little at how you shook your waist to the music. everyone knew not to bother you so you could get it done quicker.
but tara wanted to bother you. she wanted to approach you and say something, anything to break the silence.
you were friends before everything went down. she thought that maybe she could at least salvage that, that would be her way to redemption.
mindy kept talking and talking before cutting herself off suddenly, realising that tara was no longer paying attention.
“tara, don’t.” mindy said, disappointment clear in her tone. “this is something you need to give time to.”
“there’s been a lot of time.” tara muttered, glaring at mindy.
“you can’t just break her heart and expect her to let you back in so quickly.” mindy held her shoulder back.
“i know it won’t be quick, but i have to try.” tara said through her teeth, pulling her shoulder out of mindy’s grasp and starting to make her way towards you.
tara stopped on her heels when she saw her sister already take your attention. she thought that she’d better not interrupt you.
“whatcha listening to?” sam asked you, her arms crossed over her chest.
you pulled your headphones back a little.
“sloppy jane.” you said.
“sloppy jane? what kind of name is that?!” sam laughed.
“she’s cool! i promise!” you raised your hands up in defense. you took your headphones off your head, you gently placed them on sam. your hands nicking strands of her long hair before you pulled them away.
she held eye contact with her as her head bobbed to the music, you matched the bobbing, knowing which part of the song she was on.
a smile formed on her face while you two were in sync. your eyes started to crinkle up with a smile as your hair started getting in your face when you headbanged. she joined you until the kitchen was filled with laughter.
“okay… okay. i see it now. she has a good sound.” sam agreed with you, placing the headphones back on you but leaving an ear open.
“thank you.” you chuckled, moving the beef strips into the bowl you intended to serve it in.
“this smells soooo good.” sam practically moaned out, you laughed at the noise she made.
“well, you’re gonna have to wait like everyone else!” you teased.
she groaned and rolled her eyes. you liked seeing her loosen up a bit more, you were grateful she was getting more comfortable around you.
as you two laughed, tara stared on.
she remembered when she was in sam’s place. she even felt herself grow jealous at her sister. why did she ever think that what she was doing to you was okay? your heart was gold and tara thought she had turned it dark— she realised your golden heart’s integrity never faltered. you were still just as good.
she was cruel and she broke your heart. she didn’t think she would regret it— until she suddenly felt all that guilt wash over her. was she regretting it?
you enlisted sam to help you bring all your dishes to the table.
“beef stroganoff, pasta, and rice. choose your carb to go with it and enjoy!” you presented your meal to the group.
everyone admired your work and sat down at the table. you ended up sitting beside mindy who talked your ear off about some pottery class that she and anika took.
you glanced over at sam first, her eyes meeting yours during her conversation with ethan. you two exchanged heartfelt smiles, you had a good day because of each other.
then you looked at tara, who was already looking at you. her first serving was practically gone. you knew that she loved one thing about you, and it was your cooking. she held a sadness behind those eyes, you saw into it, but you had your doubts that it was sadness.
when you noticed her plate, you felt yourself flash her a smile too. she returned it, it was shy but still genuine. her plate was cleaned up just seconds after everyone served themselves.
crumbs of you, tara would take. she cherished that smile you gave to her, even if it was forced or accidental. it filled her brain.
𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩
washing up had to be done, you wanted do it yourself, saying how you were on a roll from cooking that you wanted to do the cleaning too.
sam was about to speak up but suddenly, tara found her voice.
“i’ll help!” she said, chirping up. everyone looked at her with confusion. they didn’t expect that she would do that for you.
“oh… okay!” you said, making your way over to the kitchen.
you scrubbed the plates and handed them to her to dry. it was a good system that worked.
“you did well with dinner today. your cooking is always good.” tara smiled at you.
“thank you, tara. i appreciate it.” your lips pressed into a thin line.
“i just wanted to say that.” she put the plates onto the drying rack. “we haven’t spoken in a while.”
“i know. i just wanted to give you space. i felt like i wasn’t much help to you ever. and i felt like i wouldn’t be much help now.” you confessed. “but i want to stick around, i would be a pretty shit person if i didn’t.”
she felt horrible that you thought that you wouldn’t be help. in fact, there were some nights that tara found herself longing for you.
“we were friends before this, do you think we’d be able to get back to that?” she asked, searching your face for hope. but all she saw was doubt.
“maybe, tara.” you turned to her, handing her the last of the dishes. you saw the dejected look on her face and sighed. you wanted to go back to that too, you missed the tara that was a good friend to you. “but we can try.”
tara’s face lit up, a bit of shock also hidden between the lines. “okay! yeah… let’s try.” she put the dish away and held her hand out, you chuckled but you shook it.
what you failed to see was your maybe friend’s sister staring at you both from the living room, her jaw tightened as tara touched you.
sam zoned back into the conversation, realising that the show they were watching was long gone and replaced by the news again.
there was another death.
sam erupted in her anger, suddenly storming into the kitchen, grabbing the sharpest knife that she owned.
you had no idea what just happened, tara followed her sister back to the living room, the commotion having everyone sit up.
“sam! slow down!” tara yelled after her sister, you joined them after putting the dishes away. “can we please think about this before you decide to abandon my college education?!”
you couldn’t blame sam for wanting to leave. this was something that she just wanted to escape. as much as you would be upset, you would understand. you’d help, even.
you would help them pack up if it meant they were away from everything. you were prepared to never speak of the carpenter sisters again, in hopes that they would never have to go through this again.
“this can’t just be a coincidence, tara!” sam yelled back at her. today was the day where you saw the genetic stubbornness displayed by the carpenter sisters.
“quinn, can you please call your dad?!” tara asked their roommate, quinn immediately nodded. you could tell she didn’t want to get yelled at by sam but it was a reasonable point of action.
ring!!!
everyone flinched. you didn’t. it was just a phone ringing to you, but to everyone else, it was so much more.
sam’s phone blared on the table, she walked over only to see that it was gale weathers, she declined the call without a doubt.
you watched as quinn travelled across the room, telling sam that her father wanted to speak to her. you heard the muffled voice of mr. bailey from where you were standing.
“okay, thank you. i’ll be right there.” sam hung up. “he wants me down at the station.”
“i’ll drive you.” you said, grabbing your keys. “i live close to the station.”
“you shouldn’t have to—“ you cut sam off.
“no. i will. no man left behind, remember?” you said, firm in your decision. sam sighed but nodded.
𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩
you, sam, and tara made it out the door and started to walk to your car.
suddenly, sam’s phone rang again. the two girls stopped when they saw the name displayed on the screen.
richie kirsch.
richie? you recognized that name. you huddled closer to the sisters, closing your eyes to rack your memory for where you knew that name.
no. wait.
it couldn’t be. he was dead, wasn’t he?
“don’t pick that up.” tara said, looking up at sam.
sam hesitated, but it could be important. these calls were life or death for them. she picked up.
you looked at your surroundings. you suddenly felt so exposed, like anything could happen to you now that you weren’t in the comforts of your own home— or anyone’s home.
“who is this?” sam asked into the phone. you couldn’t hear the responses, only sam’s facial expressions changing as time went on.
her eyebrows furrowed, her eyes changed. you saw woodsboro glaze her pupils, you knew she was thinking back to her life before the city. everything was resurfacing.
“i want you to think long and hard about whether or not you wanna do this because the last two people that fucked with us ended up dead.” she said, planting her feet down with determination.
your eyes started to tear away from sam, not absorbing the conversation.
bad gut feeling.
you had to stop ignoring those.
“you better watch your back, asshole.” sam said.
and tara yelled.
a cloaked figure sporting a ghostface mask suddenly grabbed tara, you sprung into action. tara elbowed the figure and you shoved him into the bike rack.
“go!” you said, running just behind the two sisters.
“there!” sam redirected you into a little corner store. you stood with your front to the door while the girls yelled at the cashier to help them, starting a fight with someone in line.
suddenly ghostface walked in.
you backed up into sam, pushing her backwards a little bit while one of the customers stood tall in front of the infamous killer.
you watched as ghostface drove their knife into the man, multiple times.
you gasped, your hand flying to your mouth. you had never seen anyone get killed before. you thought ghostface had specific targets, this wasn’t just an ordinary killer, this killer wasn’t afraid to take any life that stood in his way.
you turned around and the three of you flooded into the back of the store as the clerk wielded his gun.
when the first gunshot rang, sam’s arm flew to cover you as chips flew everywhere. tara was crouched just beside the two of you.
suddenly, there was a second gunshot. but only after you heard the clerk start begging for his life.
you tried to stay quiet, you didn’t realise where parts of your body were. you had a hand on sam’s abdomen, bunching her shirt into your fist. you were terrified, you had never gone through this before. you couldn’t imagine what sam & tara were feeling.
you couldn’t move— or else he would know where you were.
the corner store was quiet, it was like a cruel game of cat and mouse. you heard crunching as the sound of boots got closer to you.
all three of you rounded the corner to avoid detection. sam hid behind a freezer while you and tara hid behind the shelving. you saw sam’s eyes flicker to a can on the ground and you knew what she was trying to say.
carefully, you reached out and picked the can off the floor. it was disgusting and sticky. was this what they had to result to when defending themselves? putting themselves in disgusting situations? you felt twisted picturing them going through this once— now twice.
you threw the can across the corner store, hearing boots walk in the other direction. it was a successful distraction. the three of you started crawling towards the exit.
when you heard the boots stop moving again, you paused. sam leaned forward, you could tell that she could see a lot clearer than you. she slowly inched towards the shelving, then she suddenly shoved it with her shoulder, knocking it down.
god, she was strong.
had she been training herself to get stronger? in case this happened again?
the three of you hauled ass to the exit, being met with cop cars and their sirens.
the three of you were escorted into the cars. the sisters rode in one while you went in the other. you fidgeted with your fingers. then it was daunting on you.
baby’s first ghostface attack.
𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩
you sat in an interrogation room at the precinct. the walls were closing in on you.
you had been close to death before. you remember when you and your parents got into that gnarly car accident that had you coming out with several broken bones and whiplash. you cradled your arm, feeling the after-effects of the worst injury you sustained.
but this wasn't a car t-boning yours. this was a killer.
and you felt like death was kissing your cheek.
you didn't know where sam and tara were, you assumed a different interrogation room. you were waiting for ages, you thought that maybe someone was attending to them first.
you sat in silence for about ten more minutes, trying to decompress the situation.
the lock clicked and the door swung open, revealing detective bailey. you had met quinn's dad in passing, never really speaking to him.
"mr. bailey. how are you?" you asked him, sitting up in your chair. you noticed he had files in his hand. this was going to take longer than you wanted.
"i'm good. thank you... how are you doing? you weren't around for woodsboro, i'm sure it's a bit of a shock to be involved now." straight into it.
"a bit is an understatement, sir." you let out a dry chuckle. "i'm assuming you're going to be asking me more than just 'how are you' though..."
"i'm sorry. i know you're probably tired." he sighed, you nodded. you were trying to hold back a yawn.
"it's fine."
he sat down across from you, opening the file and putting its contents in front of you.
"you're the newest addition to the group, quinn has talked about you. i know you and tara had a past relationship. were you frequently in and out of their apartment?" he asked.
"yeah... tara and i were together for a bit. i usually visited her and i also hang out with mindy and chad, so yes, i was frequently at theirs." you nodded, you often found that honesty was the best policy with these things.
"i know that your relationship with her ended badly." he stated, you scoffed.
"surely a bad break-up isn't enough motivation to go on these killing sprees, right?" you asked, a bit offended.
"sometimes it might just be."
"did you have access to sam carpenter's belongings?" he followed up. what did sam's stuff have to do with this?
"um... no. not really. i never really interacted with sam until ghostface was rumored to resurface. and even then, i don't really have that access." you crossed your arms across your chest, your eyes scanning the photos on the desk. you spotted a photo of sam's license, bloodied and dumped at the scene of the crime.
someone was trying to frame her.
"we found sam's license next to the body."
"well she was with me all day. we went grocery shopping and i cooked everyone dinner." you quickly jumped at the chance to defend her. "tara was there too."
mr. bailey nodded at you confirming their alibi.
"sam said the same thing." he reassured you. he leaned in a bit closer to you. "although, i'd be cautious about those sisters. especially sam. i wouldn't get too close."
your brows furrowed in frustration.
"i'm sure i have nothing to worry about. they're good people." you didn't want to speak any further on the matter.
you hated that the thought of either of them being responsible for these deaths even crossed the detective's mind. he was supposed to be helping them.
two knocks against the door turned the detective's attention to another officer walking into the room.
"the fbi is here." the officer said. detective bailey looked confused.
"the fbi? where?" he stood up then turned to you. "you're free to go. i think sam and tara are waiting for you."
you stood from your seat and followed him, making your way over to the two dark-haired sisters. tara was the first to spot you, nudging sam until she turned around.
you sped up, you didn't know what it was. you just had to make sure she was real.
you wrapped your arms around sam. you felt her tense up out of shock but return the gesture.
"i'm sorry." you apologised for the sudden hug.
"it's okay." sam smiled warmly.
you turned to tara and put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing softly.
tara's eyes met yours. those pleading doe eyes, they wanted more than just a squeeze on the shoulder. she wished she was sam in that moment.
"i'm really glad you two are okay." you cleared your throat. sam smiled at you, even if it was forced, it was nice to see.
you heard two voices chatting just a little bit aways from you. sam started moving towards them, you and tara followed behind.
"kirby?" she spoke, getting the attention of a blonde woman.
"hey sam." kirby replied, moving to hug sam as well.
"do you know each other?" bailey asked.
"yeah... we went to woodsboro high together. she was a senior when i was a freshman." sam clarified. you studied the woman in front of you.
all you could say was that she looked cool. she was an fbi agent that had been monitoring the sisters for a little while. you realised that this had been the kirby involved with the killings too. they shared a very unique experience between each other.
you stayed behind sam while they conversed. kirby was handed the mask that was left at the scene. the mask used in the 2011 killings. kirby lifted her shirt to show the scar that charlie walker gave her.
sam looked uncomfortable. she realised then that this was bigger than just a killing spree, they were trying to send a message.
kirby proposed you all worked together but sam interjected, not giving her the chance to finish.
"we're getting out of town." she pushed through kirby and detective bailey.
"i'm sorry, that's not possible. you're both persons of interest. all three of you are." bailey warned.
"are you serious?" tara stepped forward, the growing frustration evident in her voice.
"he's right." kirby confirmed. "but if we work together-"
"we're going." sam basically barked an order at you and tara.
"my car's back at your place." you said. sam nodded. a small part of her brain was happy that you would be around after that.
𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩
when the three of you made your way out of the precinct, you had never seen so many cameras before. reporters swarmed the three of you, immediately asking sam questions like if she had an alibi or if tara felt safe with her sister.
they didn't pay you any mind, how could they? you were fresh meat to the group, they didn't care about your story. luckily, it allowed you to mercilessly shove them back, helping make space for sam and tara to walk through the flood.
you found yourself holding onto sam's waist, pulling her towards the open spots you've created with your body pushing against the reporters.
"gale weathers." a voice sounded out in the crowd, causing the sisters to stop in their tracks. you knew that name too, it felt like an endless revision on who was who, if you had studied well enough. "do you ladies think that you're the reason that the ghostface killer has come to the big apple?" she asked.
you saw it in sam. she snapped. she'd had a long night, she nearly lost her life. she nearly lost her sister. and her... friend.
she swung with her fist out.
"sam!" you exclaimed as gale ducked, avoiding the punch. you pulled sam's waist back, you knew she didn't need another video of her going viral. she put her hands over yours, allowing you to hold her back. you had to admit, it felt nice knowing you had a bit of pull on her.
although, you failed to account for the shorter carpenter sister. you failed to catch her pulling her elbow back and swinging at gale with a force of her own.
you jumped at the noise made by the contact and had to hold back a laugh at gale's shocked face. sam cracked a smile, she couldn't help herself.
"stay away from us." tara spat at gale.
you two turned to walk towards a cab that was parked outside the station. you pushed sam slightly by her waist, hoping she wouldn't turn back around.
but gale weathers just had to say something.
"are you two seriously still mad about what happened?"
"you wrote a book. about them." she didn't expect you to say anything. she didn't know who you were or what you were to the carpenters. she looked at you as if you were irrelevant, like another body that ghostface could dispose of just to raise the numbers.
"and who are you?" she asked, a snark in her voice.
"doesn't matter. you took advantage of them. of the fact that they lost their friends, they nearly lost each other." you shook your head. "i remember you, from tara's stories."
tara watched you fight back. how could you still do that after she hurt you? you were full of surprises. she had never seen your tongue so laced with venom before.
"you lost someone too. dewey... if someone kept shoving that down your throat, how would you feel?" you asked, glaring her way as sam and tara entered the cab. gale's stance shifted, she was uncomfortable with a stranger knowing so much information about her personal life. but then again, she put the carpenter sisters' life out there for the whole world to see.
"i remember your book too. you called sam unstable, you painted her in the worst light possible. and i thought you had been through enough with her to know that that's not true." you turned back to the two girls, opening the door to the back of the cab for them.
sam's face was unreadable as she hopped into the car. she stared at the back of your head, or more like the back of your seat. you stood up for her, breaking your kind and golden-hearted demeanour. she was worried that being in this situation would change you for the worst.
you sat in silence after telling the driver where to go. leaning back into your seat, you tried to keep your eyes open. you hadn't gotten any sleep since last night, your time divided between the carpenter residence and the station.
there was so little to say and yet so many words were jumbled in your brain.
when you arrived at the carpenter's apartment, you yawned as you exited the cab. sam caught you do so and stopped you before you could unlock your car. her hand covered yours, gripping it in her own.
"you should rest here for a little bit. you're too tired to drive." she said, looking down at you. you wanted to get home and sleep in your own bed but you knew she was right.
you put your car keys away and walked upstairs with them.
tara immediately made a beeline for the bathroom. she always showered after coming home, she couldn't go a day without smelling like vanilla.
sam put pillows and blankets down on their couch and walked into her room, coming back out with some clothes.
"you can change into these for now, you might as well make yourself comfortable. and you can sleep for as long as you want." she said, you took the clothes and nodded at her.
she sat down on the couch and pulled the blanket up slightly to cover herself, you grabbed the blanket to stop her.
"what are you doing? i'll take the couch." you said, furrowing your brows.
"no. you'll take my bed." she looked up at you from the couch.
"it's your damn bed, sam." you didn't mean to sound so ill-mannered but the tiredness was getting the best of you.
"i know. so i'll do with it as i please." you know it was just her trying to show that she cared. "so you're taking it."
you sighed sharply, you were about to take a massive risk.
"share it with me." you said, holding your ground. you didn't want to kick sam out of her own bed.
she saw the determination on your face. you two were going to sit here and bicker if she didn't give in now. she nodded, standing up and making her way back to her room.
you changed into sam's clothes, her scent wafting as the shirt fell over your figure. then you cracked the door open enough to slip yourself into her room.
just as you entered sam's room, tara came out of the bathroom. she had the look of a shattered woman on her face, you should have been going into her room. she should have offered first.
you shut the door behind you, walking towards the bed where sam was sitting. you spotted her nursing her hand, spotting a deep cut from crawling on glass at the bodega.
"sam, you should've gotten that taken care of." you scolded her a little, walking to her bathroom and grabbing a medkit you knew was there. tara had told you that she put one in every bathroom.
you knelt in front of sam, unpacking the kit to grab the antiseptic and a bandage.
"it's fine, it's only a cut." she protested.
"if ghostface doesn't get you, an infected cut will. and i think that's extremely embarrassing." you tried to make light of it, your exhaustion washing over you. "this'll hurt."
you dabbed the antiseptic into sam's cut. she hissed at the sting. but the sight in front of her was better. you, in her clothes, patching her up. this was probably the worst time for her to form a crush, and probably the worst person to form it on. her sister's ex-girlfriend, who was now involved in the ghostface killings. but your soft features, your concern for her, it was hard to resist you.
she chalked it up to exhaustion, maybe this crush would fade away when she was in her right mind.
but when you situated yourself next to her in bed, your respectful nature forcing you to leave ample space so you two weren't touching each other, she hoped that she would one day earn the honour of closing that gap.
as she closed her eyes, she listened in to your soft breathing. and even when you accidentally ended up shoulder to shoulder in bed,
sam refused to move.
𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩
author's journal okay i actually spent way too much time on this chapter, i had to write out the first 30 minutes of scream vi with a reader insert so it was a little bit more cohesive with the storyline. i don't know how i feel about this one chapter in particular but i'm starting to see the vision for the rest of the series teehee. i promise it wont just be the whole movie written down but it'll definitely have canon events. next chapter is most likely going to be non-canon as much as possible just cause this is a romance fic at the end of the day.
also this is the song i intended for the reader to be listening to with sam
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monimccoythings · 2 days
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The Way We Were
Word Count: 791
tags: f!Reader, dark!logan (past), threats, mentions of blood, past abusive behavior, implied alcoholism.
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"Stop. it." His voice came out in growls.
His claws are so close to your skin you almost feel a thin line of blood running down your neck.
"One more word. Just one. And I'll show you what these can do."
You couldn't move. You couldn't speak. Too terrified and heartbroken of the man that had once mattered to you the most. The one you'd have willingly sacrificed your entire life for.
"Never look for me again. Don't call me. I don't want to see you." The rage in his eyes, the coldness, was a sharp contrast to the soft hazel orbs you had fallen in love with long ago.
*SNIKT* As fast as his claws had appeared, they were gone. You finally allowed yourself to breathe. It's short lived, because he's soon up in your face again, a disgusted sneer on his features.
"Now. Get out of my life." His breath smelled like tobacco and alcohol, all mixed together. He had been drinking himself to oblivion again. You let the tears fall. You didn't recognise the man in front of you. Your husband.
"GET OUT." He roared in your face, making you wince.
He turned around and left you behind without sparing a single glance, in the empty parking lot of that dive bar in the middle of nowhere.
That was the last time he would see you in many, many years.
Logan woke up sweating and with his heart hammering in his chest. It had been so long since the last time he had dreamed about you. About that fateful night.
He grips the couch so tightly, he's going to tear the cloth. His hands were shaking as he felt the too familiar hole inside his chest reappear. He needed a drink. He had to drink. This never happened when he was drunk.
Stumbling over his own feet, he made his way towards the fridge, opening it with more violence than necessary. With his heart in his throat, his eyes searched manically until they set on a single can of beer.
That would have to do. For now.
He tried to calm his overwhelming thoughts with a single gulp, nearly drinking more than half of the can; focusing on Althea's snores from across the hall. Whatever distracted him long enough to avoid thinking about-
You.
Your soft smile. Your encouraging words. Your endless support through all his mishaps and hardships.
How gorgeous you had looked in that white dress when you walked down the aisle towards him. How great you had made him feel, like he was the luckiest man on the planet.
How he had completely fucked things up.
No matter how hard he tried to keep his memories of you at bay, his treacherous heart kept going back to you.
He wondered how you were doing. If you got that promotion you wanted.
Did you still kept your endless collection of air fresheners that drove him insane? Were you living in a better apartment than the one you had?
Did you remarry? Were you two actually divorced? He didn't remember signing anything at all. His teeth clenched at the thought of anybody else having you.
He shook his head.
What right did he had over you? After everything he had done, all the pain and trauma he pulled you through, what made him think he had any say on who you choose to spend your life with?
He wasn't the man he wished he was for you. The one that you deserved.
Yet...
He was here. He had been given a second chance to pull his head out of his ass and do the right thing. Out of all the better suited Wolverines there were out there, Wade picked him and turned him into a different man.
He was a completely different man from the one he was back then. The one torn with rage and grief. That monster, murderer, he was long gone, locked away, he would make sure of it.
He looked towards Wade's bedroom. He knew the sneaky bastard hid some of those dimension-travelling tablets somewhere in his bedroom. Knowing him, it would be probably the dirtiest and grossest corner where he would be sure Logan would never look.
He titled his head. A dangerous idea forming in his mind.
Could he?
Would he actually dare?
What if he just took a small peek. Just to make sure you were alright. You didn't have to see him. And he could return home with the knowledge that you were alright.
It was a terrible idea. A dangerous idea. But if the Wolverine was known for anything, it was for barreling into danger first and asking questions later.
He just needed to find the right moment.
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syluslnd · 9 hours
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Sssooo... thinking of Stalker Sylus the first time he gets to catch MC masturbating...
Stalker sylus catching you masturbating
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You had no idea you were being watched, none at all. The apartment was supposed to be your safe space, where no one could see you in your most vulnerable moments. But Sylus had been watching for weeks now, his eyes always on you, tracking every move you made, every sigh, every flutter of your lashes.
Sylus had always thought you were pure, an innocent creature who stirred something primal in him. He'd set up the cameras around your home, hidden in the shadows of your bookshelves, the corners of your ceiling. He was never far, always lurking, always observing.
Tonight, though, was different. You had no idea what you were doing to him. The way your hand slipped beneath the sheets, your breath catching in the quiet of your bedroom. Sylus leaned forward in his dark office, eyes glued to the monitor. He couldn't look away, couldn't believe what he was seeing. His innocent little kitten, no longer as innocent as he thought.
The way you whimpered softly, biting your lip, your cheeks flushed—he watched with a dark satisfaction growing inside him, feeling a surge of possessiveness like never before.
His fingers hovered over his phone, a wicked grin spreading across his face.
“Sweetie” he typed, the word dripping with that familiar teasing energy. “You know l've been watching, right?”
Your phone buzzed on the nightstand, startling you. You grabbed it, heart pounding as you read the message. A cold shiver ran down your spine. He knows?
Before you could even react, another message came through. “I'm on my way to you. Don't move.”
Your heart raced as you stared at the screen, a mixture of fear and excitement building inside you. You looked around your empty room, the dim lighting suddenly feeling oppressive, like the walls were closing in on you. You knew he had his darker side-Sylus was dangerous, a man not to be crossed.
But he also had a soft spot for you. His obsession with you had always been more protective than harmful.
What had you gotten yourself into?
A knock sounded at your door mere minutes later, though you hadn't heard any footsteps.
Sylus was always swift, always silent. You hesitated, but the door creaked open before you could even reach it.
And there he was, leaning casually in the doorway, his dark suit clinging to every muscle, his eyes gleaming with amusement.
He closed the door behind him with a soft click, locking it, his lips curling into that maddening smirk.
"Well, well” he drawled, his voice low and dripping with amusement "I didn't know my little kitten had such a dirty side. How long have you been hiding that from me, sweetie?"
Your breath hitched as Sylus stalked toward you, his eyes never leaving yours. You felt your pulse quicken, the heat rising in your cheeks as he got closer, the intensity in his gaze sending a thrill through you. He stopped just inches away, his presence overwhelming, the air around him electric.
"You weren't supposed to see that" you managed to whisper, your voice barely audible.
He chuckled softly, tilting your chin up with one finger so that you were forced to meet his gaze. "Oh, but I did. And I have to say, kitten, I'm not disappointed." His voice was a low purr, dripping with that familiar, teasing tone. "I always thought you were innocent, but it seems l've been missing out."
His eyes darkened as he leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear. "Tell me, sweetie" he whispered, his breath warm against your skin "were you thinking about me?"
The question sent a jolt of panic through you but there was no denying the effect his voice had on you. Sylus knew exactly how to get under your skin, how to toy with your emotions and now that he knew your secret, he was going to enjoy every second of it.
"I-" You tried to form a coherent response but his hand had already found its way to your waist, pulling you closer to him.
"Don't be shy, kitten” he murmured, his lips grazing your neck. "You don't need to hide from me anymore. I've seen everything." His words were dark, yet there was something comforting about the way he held you, like even in this twisted obsession, you were safe in his arms.
The game had changed and you knew Sylus wouldn't let you forget it
You stood frozen in his arms, your mind spinning from his words, from his touch.
Sylus held you against him like you were his most prized possession-his obsession fully realized. The teasing look in his eyes deepened, flickering between dark amusement and something more primal.
His thumb traced slow circles against your hip, a touch that sent shivers up your spine.
"You know, sweetie" he continued in that low, velvety voice "I've been patient with you. Watching from afar...protecting you." His lips hovered just above yours, and you could feel his breath, warm and steady, fanning against your skin. "But now, I think it's time I stop being so... subtle."
Your heart pounded, torn between the thrill of his closeness and the fear of how much he knew-how much he'd seen. The intensity in his eyes, the possessiveness that radiated off him-it was overwhelming.
"Sylus, please" you breathed, not even sure what you were asking for. A part of you wanted him to stop, to give you space to think, but another part, the part he was awakening with every word, with every slow caress, wanted to give in. You could see the hunger in his eyes-the need to own every part of you.
His lips twisted into a knowing smirk.
"Please? You're going to have to be more specific than that, kitten. Do you want me to stop?" His fingers slid up to your chin, forcing you to look at him again, to confront the heat in his gaze.
You swallowed hard, your body betraying you with every beat of your heart. You should tell him to stop, but you couldn't deny the way your body responded to his. It was maddening.
He leaned in closer, his lips brushing against yours, so close that the air between you felt like a spark about to ignite. But he didn't kiss you. Not yet. Instead, he held you there, teasing, making you wait.
"You're mine” he murmured, his voice a rough whisper, "whether you admit it or not." His eyes darkened, his hand tightening slightly around your waist as if to make the point clear. "And now that l've seen how much you want me... well, kitten, there's no turning back."
A shiver ran through you, but this time, it wasn't just fear. It was anticipation. Sylus had seen everything-your vulnerability, your desires—and now he wasn't just your protector, your stalker. He was the one thing you couldn't run from.
Without warning, his lips crashed down on yours, the kiss rough and claiming. It was everything you'd feared, everything you'd secretly craved. His mouth moved against yours with a hunger that stole your breath, his hands gripping your hips possessively as he deepened the kiss.
When he finally pulled back, you were left gasping, your body trembling under the weight of what had just happened. He looked down at you with that smug, satisfied grin, as if he knew exactly the effect he had on you.
"You'll never be able to hide from me, sweetie," he said softly, almost sweetly, but there was that edge to his voice, a dark promise laced within the words. "I'll always know what you're doing, what you're thinking."
His hand slid up your arm, fingers brushing against your neck, making you shiver. "And next time," he whispered, his lips close to your ear, "you won't be playing with yourself alone. You'll be mine. Completely."
The room felt heavy with tension, the air thick with the weight of his words. You knew Sylus was serious. There was no escaping him, not now, not after this.
And maybe, just maybe, you didn't want to escape at all.
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chaos-in-deepspace · 15 hours
Text
LADS Xavier: Galaxy Hands | SFW
Look at me. LOOK AT ME. I dun wanna hear nufin about bad typos in this one. I just got my nails done yesterday and they're so long in comparison to how they normally are. I am learning how to type all over again and ya...this was written in fifteen minutes.
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Pairings Xavier x Reader Warnings None Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.
Blog Information | Masterlist
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Xavier
```You had decided, for once, to treat yourself. To paint your nails despite knowing that while working tomorrow they would probably get ruined in some way. You knew your job wasn't exactly one where you could have fancy nails, so you felt it simple. Instead of going somewhere, you opted to just do it yourself.
Xavier hadn't questioned it when you showed up to his home with a small box in hand, nor did he ask why you were setting things up in his living room. Instead he just sat and watched as you got out the polishes and began working on your hands.
He was snacking, enjoying some pocky while watching you from the couch. The way you were sat on the floor, relaxed, and just focused on the task. It was relaxing for you, the small motions, waiting for it to dry between coats, and then finishing it. It had taken a good half hour, and the entire time the apartment was basked in silence.
When you finally looked at them, you smiled. It was simple, a black undercoat with a holographic purple and blue on top of it. The way the top coat made it shine had you staring at them for a little longer than you normally would.
Then you felt a hand taking your own and you looked to see Xavier. He was staring at the design on your hand with a gentle look in those beautiful blue eyes of his, "It looks like a starry sky." he finally said, breaking the silence that had been there since you had first come over.
"I know, I wasn't expecting it. This is the first time I tried this polish." You admitted. You had expected it to look nice, but you hadn't expected to have a literal galaxy on your nails when you had finished them.
You blushed when Xavier brought your hand up to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss onto the knuckles of your hand. Your nails were, at this point, mainly dry, but he was still being so delicate with them that it surprised you.
"I like them." He finally said, "Why don't you paint your nails for often? You're pretty good at it." he noted as he looked them over. It was like he was transfixed on your hands at the moment and you let out a nervous chuckle.
"I mean, they'll just be ruined tomorrow while I'm at work. Doesn't make sense to do them every day." you pointed out and he nodded.
"Aren't there ways to make them last longer?" his finger were gently playing with your hand as he looked at you. "I know I've seen Tara with her nails done a few times." what he really meant was how he had seen Tara shoving her hands in your face before to gush about her nails, but that was neither here nor there.
"I mean I guess if I got them done professionally with a gel or something they'd last longer." You murmured.
"Then how about on your next day off you do that?" Xavier suggested, "It's clear you like your nails like this."
"I feel like you're enjoying them more." you pointed out, taking your hand away from his to gently bop his nose with one finger. He gave you an amused smile as he took your hand back and placed it on his cheek.
"I do. We can go together if you'd like." he said and you gave him a questioning glance.
"Oh, and are you going to get your nails done as well?" You pinched his cheek and he gave you a soft smile.
"Perhaps. Would it make you happy if I did?"
You took a moment to think about it. Xavier did have pretty hands, and his nail bed was long. Even if he kept his nails short, there was a lot you could do with them. "Ya, I think it would. I'll ask Tara where she goes tomorrow and make an appointment for us." you said as you leaned down. You pressede a quick kiss to his nose and he looked at you with a pout.
"You missed…" he muttered, and before you could ask what he meant, his lips were pressing against your own. You hummed into it, savoring the feeling of his mouth on yours as he pulled away, "There, that's better." he said, then quickly kissed your cheek. He went to grab your hand again, staring at the color for a moment more, "Now…how about we get some dinner."```
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mermaidsirennikita · 6 hours
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Sadly, the Wuthering Heights furor has also led to people (many of whom, let us be real, simply dislike the book or otherwise only think of it when it's brought up) to discourse about the content of the novel versus the wrongness of Emerald Fennell's choices with regards to the movie, which of course, has opened up the classic "IT'S NOT A ROMANCE! IT'S NOT A LOVE STORY! BAD PEOPLE! HATE STORY!"
... Which is... also a bad take.
First off, to be very clear, "Romance" is not inherently "genre romance", which is the thing I blog a lot about that was solidified in the latter half of the twentieth century (and which, no doubt, was influenced on some level by WH as much as Jane Eyre, Austen novels and so on). Wuthering Heights is a romance, it's just not a genre romance/romance novel. And indisputably, Wuthering Heights is a love story.
It may not be a love story you like. It may not be a love story with a happily ever after (though I will say—this is one of the few books where I think it's pretty debatable, as "wandering the moors as ghosts", if that is what happened, is kind of... what Cathy and Heathcliff would've wanted... and their ultimate desire was to be TOGETHER, regardless of whether or not it damned them, so is it an HEA in their freaky minds? Maybe so lol). It may ALSO be an abuse story in which the lovers act horribly to each other.... though, I gotta say, MUCH WORSE to literally everyone else in their lives than they do to each other...
But it's a love story. That is one of several things it happens to be. The entire novel is driven by this central love story between Heathcliff and Cathy—a love that is, contrary to what a surface-level reading or reading by word of mouth would imply... very much mutual. I've already gone on about how Cathy Earnshaw is not Heathcliff's victim the way Isabella Linton is, and how Cathy is very much as involved in the love affair as he is. But truly, while their individual internal struggles are the framework and what keeps them apart in many ways—Heathcliff being a man of color and subject to racist abuse, Cathy conforming to society and classist pressures when her natural temperament is very much not of society—what propels the story is this romance.
Because they are supposed to be read as extremely similar, and as two people who do not truly identify with anyone but one another. They're supposed to be read as like minds. They're supposed to be read as thwarted. Some of the things those two say about each other and to each other are legitimately some of the most romantic lines I've ever read.
I mean, are they also kind of sick and wrong? Sure! But I do find it kind of rich to see people who are totally fine with reading dark romance wring their hands over the public at large interpreting Heathcliff and Cathy's relationship as an epic romance. I don't have an issue with anyone enjoying either! But. Let us be real. Part of why y'all are even enjoying work like that is the standard that books like WH set, and the fact that WH does speak to the lure of the dark and the tragedy of people who are super imperfect... and also super in love... continuously fucking up their own lives (and the lives of basically everyone around them) in this push-pull of denial and desire.
When people say "HOW COULD ANYONE EVER INTERPRET THIS AS ROMANTIC?" I just have to question... did you read the book? Because even if it's not for YOU, if it's not romantic TO YOU, surely you can see why other people (me and mine lol) read lines like these and go, "Wow, romantic":
“Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living. You said I killed you--haunt me then. The murdered do haunt their murderers. I believe--I know that ghosts have wandered the earth. Be with me always--take any form--drive me mad. Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! It is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!”
(fun fact: I do have a part of the above quote tattooed on my body and I'm very happy about it)
"My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff's miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning: my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it."
"Hush, my darling! Hush, hush, Catherine! I'll stay. If he shot me so, I'd expire with a blessing on my lips."
[said when her damn husband is almost at the door lol]
"I’m not wishing you greater torment than I have, Heathcliff. I only wish us never to be parted: and should a word of mine distress you hereafter, think I feel the same distress underground, and for my own sake, forgive me!"
"'Heathcliff, dear! you should not be sullen now. Do come to me, Heathcliff.’
In her eagerness she rose and supported herself on the arm of the chair. At that earnest appeal he turned to her, looking absolutely desperate. His eyes, wide and wet, at last flashed fiercely on her; his breast heaved convulsively. An instant they held asunder, and then how they met I hardly saw, but Catherine made a spring, and he caught her, and they were locked in an embrace from which I thought my mistress would never be released alive..."
"Kiss me again; and don’t let me see your eyes! I forgive what you have done to me. I love my murderer—but yours! How can I?"
[Read: she is the murderer he is talking about. He's saying she doomed herself to death a long time ago, and he hates her for it. While also crying and kissing her lmao]
They're sickos! Nobody can argue otherwise. But that does not mean they're not in love, and it doesn't mean this isn't a love story, and wagging your fingers at people who read this as the obviously destructive love story this is and find it romantic... doesn't change that.
And the thing is that the book makes it pretttyyyy clear that even if Heathcliff and Cathy has assholery programed into their personalities, WITHOUT the contexts of how they were raised and the society that expects them both to conform to prescribed roles, they would probably just... be together. Like, they victimize people, especially Heathcliff. But they are also victims. The book isn't about a critique of two people Emily Bronte dreamed up; it's a critique of the CIRCUMSTANCES by way of Gothic, subversive melodrama. At the end of the day, their feelings, however passionate they are, are not inherently subversive. Their feelings are NATURAL. But they're twisted and contorted into something ugly through circumstance and the characters' responses to those circumstances.
For Heathcliff, A LOT of those circumstances that did twist him are in fact out of his control. Which is why we hate that casting, right?
But all that said, a love story being dirtybadwrong and about Bad People doesn't mean it isn't a love story, lol. Again—we don't even expect genre romance to be about good people.
Like. Yeah. We know Heathcliff and Cathy are assholes. You're not breaking new ground with that take. The book is still, in many ways, about those assholes being in love.
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OMITB S4:E5 "Adaptation"
We're at the halfway mark and I feel like fans with a Hercule Poirot or Sherlock Holmes type of IQ could solve the mystery by now but I am not one of those fans so I'm just here to recap and debunk or strengthen theories I already had. I say this every week but I am truly loving the pacing of this season and that they don't shy away from answering questions early on instead of trying to shoehorn everything in for the season finale. As always spoilers ahead!
Ok so now we officially have confirmation that there are two killers. After circling back to the footprint on the windowsill of the Dudenoff apartment, the tacky paper used on the photoshoot and production room set reveals that the footprint belongs to one of the Brothers sisters. We see that one twin is physically strong enough to lift a body when she lifts Oliver and moves him onto his correct mark. I don't think that necessarily means both twins are involved in the murder though. We also end the episode with that same twin being missing and hearing a gunshot implying that she has been killed. I have been waiting YEARS for a season in which the bodies start piling up and it's finally happening!
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This episode was narrated by Marshall the writer and I don't know how to feel about his character. I get that he and Mabel are supposed to be similar in that they both have imposter syndrome but he in general just gives off red flags. He's inserting himself into investigating which is something killers do and him having the fake facial hair introduces the idea of the killers having disguises so clearly he was important to this episode. Not to mention he's giving stalker vibes or parasocial Arconiac vibes. I find it very interesting that Mabel and Charles did not view the video of his stand up to verify his alibi. This could very well mean that he was at the Arconia the night that Sazz was killed. He also never stepped on the tacky paper so we don't have his footprint. That's two strikes against him.
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You know who else we didn't see step on the tacky paper? Glen Stubbins. Who is back by the way. I still don't care for his character but I am starting to suspect him. He's physically capable of jumping on the windowsill because he's a stunt performer and for that same reason I'm sure he's also capable of aiming and firing a gun. Also how did he know exactly where Charles lived? They only met the one time at the Stunt Man bar. And yes it's sweet that he brought bread but he could have left it downstairs with Lester. As Ben's stunt double I can't help but wonder if he was present at the Arconia the night of Sazz's murder but in disguise. There's actually a really compelling theory on the hulu subreddit that Glen is the killer if you want to check it out.
Bev actually does have an alibi for that night and seems to only be guilty of wanting her movie made. Can we rule her out just yet? Idk but we'll see. She didn't seem that confident while aiming the gun or firing it off to prove it wasn't loaded. Her revealing Sazz's voicemail and the time it was left definitely proved helpful in establishing a timeline and confirming that there are two killers. Or three if you think it's three people working together.
Howard working for the production team is only strengthening my theory that he's the Moriarty. This man is everywhere! He was working at the theater last season and immersed in the plot there and now here he is in the center of it all once again. Again I don't think he's an evil mastermind, I just think he started off envying the closeness of the trio and now he's high off the power of manipulating things behind the scenes.
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Have any of you heard of the opera La Forza Del Destino? In A Series of Unfortunate Events, there is a reference and parallel to it in which a character is mortally wounded after a weapon is accidentally fired off and strikes them. What if the killer was aiming for Charles, saw Sazz dressed similar to him and was aiming to shoot, and the accomplice called to warn them that it was the wrong person but something startled the killer and they accidentally shot Sazz? Like for example they were ready to go and then someone knocked loudly or something which not only muffled the noise of the phone but startled them enough to shoot.
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This season has so many parallels and coincidences that we have to assume is on purpose. We've got multiple dopplegangers and cases of mistaken identity, guns being misfired (Eva with Rudy's prop gun and Bev with Sazz's loaded gun), and even the blackout in the S4 premiere vs the fire alarm going off in the S1 premiere.
My small takeaways from the episode:
Mabel being 30 and having an identity crisis is so relatable and I hope she finds her way by the end of the series.
Lester talking about wearing a gimp mask is WILD
Charles mentioning having an account in Belize and Detective Williams pretending to unhear it is hilarious
I'm beyond tired of this Oliver and Loretta plotline and him being insecure about her new status as a celebrity. WRAP IT UP!
Fans keep bringing up the cold case and I wonder if that will become the plot point in season five
Zach Galifianakis telling Oliver about how Jonk (sp?) ran through the seven dwarfs and that they could be heard Hi-Ho'ing from the trailer took me out 🤣
Charles having a new murder board each week is my favorite thing because that's literally all of us fans each week after watching a new episode
Bev and Cinda would be besties or frenemies and I really need to see them in a scene together before the season is over
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mrs-stans · 2 days
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Sebastian Stan describes the 'big reactions' from New Yorkers over his A Different Man transformation: 'I was terrified'
The actor and makeup artist extraordinaire Mike Marino unpack Stan's dramatic prosthetics turn.
By Nick Romano
Sebastian Stan was so determined to work with Oscar-nominated makeup artist Mike Marino on his film A Different Man that the actor was willing to undergo a social and professional experiment.
As Edward, the 42-year-old Marvel star would play an aspiring actor with neurofibromatosis, or NF1 for short, who undergoes an experimental procedure that radically changes his face, only to then emotionally spiral out of control when he loses the part he was born to play to Oswald (Adam Pearson), someone with NF1 who lives a much fuller life than Edward ever led, pre- or post-procedure. Stan needed the man who made Colin Farrell unrecognizable as Oz Cobb for The Batman and HBO’s The Penguin to pull off such a feat.
Since Marino was already busy on Amazon’s The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Stan walked the few blocks from his apartment in New York City’s SoHo district to Marino’s home every morning around 4 or 5 a.m. “Then you just wait till they're ready for you on set,” Marino remembers saying to him. On some of those days, Stan would kill time by wandering Manhattan in full makeup until his call time. “I walked up and down Broadway, basically,” Stan, sitting in the New York offices of studio A24, tells Entertainment Weekly. “It was a busy street. I was terrified, but I would just go get a coffee or sit.”
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Sebastian Stan is unrecognizable as an actor with facial deformity in trailer for A Different Man
Stan doesn’t consider himself to be a physical actor, and yet his body of work might suggest differently. Even when the costume shoulders the bulk of the transformation, such as playing Tommy Lee in Hulu’s Pam & Tommy, his body language molds to match the look. That skill is especially prominent in A Different Man (playing now in limited release). “Even alone, being able to only look out of one eye and then having one ear more covered immediately changes a lot,” he says of Marino's makeup effects. “It changes how you stand. It changes how far away you are from people, how you look at people. I felt oddly on my back foot more. It's a defensive reaction because you want to be prepared in case something's coming, that you have enough time to react.”
“What we get is such an incredibly passionate, skilled actor that can hide within a true character,” Marino tells EW in a separate conversation on Zoom from his SoHo apartment, part of which serves as the mini studio where Stan’s makeup application occurred. “He would actually now have a chance to live with people's reactions and how they were treating him.”
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That experience informed Stan’s entire performance, and it became important for him to do so, even outside of the mornings' wait time. He would often stroll away from set on the Upper West Side in between breaks or setups. “New York is pretty evolved in a lot of ways, but I still got some big reactions from people,” he recalls. “Like, ‘Oh s---!’ ‘Oh f---!’ ‘Look at that!’ It was scary to experience. It was hard to experience. I felt powerless in those situations in some way. And, I guess, a lot of that is how Edward feels in the film.”
Sebastian Stan transforms in the discomforting drama A Different Man
Other reactions were less intense, but equally informative. While standing at a stoplight, for instance, Stan noticed the difference between those pedestrians avoiding eye contact completely, compared to those trying to discreetly steal a look or offer him a forced smile — all bystander reactions that director Aaron Schimberg incorporates into the movie. "I don't think it always comes from a bad place," he says. "Sometimes people just want to connect or feel okay. It's actually about their own experience. It's not even about you. It's like they're in that moment feeling something that's funny to them and they're trying to deal with it. They don't know how."
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Marino wanted to be involved with A Different Man thanks to his love of the 1980 film The Elephant Man, loosely based on the life of Joseph Merrick, who lived with a facial disfigurement. As a 5-year-old, the movie scared Marino. But as he fell in love with the art of makeup transformations on screen, he came to see it for what it was: "a beautiful" and "touching story," he describes. "That really made an indelible mark on my life."
He would need that motivation for the obstacles that Stan's look on A Different Man prompted. "There were many technical challenges," he recalls. "It is very difficult to do makeup that thick where they have very thick areas. So I had to really balance what was too big, what was too small. I still need the movement of Sebastian to come through. I still need his own face to drive the makeup and not have it look purely like a mask. I studied Adam's photos. I really analyzed him and tried to balance how I can make it work for Sebastian."
Sebastian Stan calls out journalist who refers to his new character with disfigurement as a 'beast'
Stan has another transformative part coming out soon, the buzzed-about and already-controversial performance of young Donald Trump in The Apprentice. Because he's now promoting both that film and A Different Man simultaneously, it's been interesting for him to think about the ways in which he approached both jobs.
"I've been finding strange parallels that I never really thought about," he remarks. "There's some similar themes being explored in terms of truth, self abandonment, denial of reality to some extent. I think these last couple of roles have required a different degree of physicality. One, obviously, is specific, a real person. But I think about that, of course. You have to, because everyone walks differently and everyone carries things in their body differently. Sometimes you gain access in a different way to things by simply changing a physical aspect of yourself."
The greatest compliment he received for that kind of work on A Different Man, even more than the glowing praise he's seen from the critics, came from Pearson's mother. "After she saw the film, she was like, 'All I ever wanted was for someone to walk in his shoes for one day, to know what it's like, and you were able to do that,'" Stan remembers of their exchange. "I came close to that, I guess, in a way, to feel that kind of invasiveness that he probably felt at some point in his life, walking around."
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ohanny · 2 days
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so i saw this picture and like any normal person my first immediate thought was
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change host club show when
and as a totally normal person i immediately set to plot one out so... enjoy, i guess?
part 1/3
bear with me ʕ◉ᴥ◉ʔ
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benz as the manager
he is rich, a little spoiled and a lot bratty with divorced parents. after finishing his masters and graduating at the top of his class from a very exclusive business school, his father expects him to come work for some multinational evil corp and fulfil his destiny as the heir. instead, he shows up at his estranged mother’s door, asking to take over the host clubs she owns. what are his motivations, exactly? what is he getting out of this? who knows. but he has a vision and no one is going to be standing in his way.
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nut as the investor
benz and nut went to school together and during their freshman year they were - you guessed it - roommates. he is rich, very spoiled and a little bored so once he hears benz has acquired a host club of all things to manage, he simply must check it out. as a man of refined tastes, his first reaction is “you pissed off your daddy for this dump?” which rubs a lot of people the wrong way. not benz, though. benz shrugs and says “if you want better furniture, go buy it.” and when you have more money than sense, might as well, right? nut becomes the club’s new investor and takes a very hands on approach to making sure his investment is going well. aka booking the vip lounge every saturday to entertain himself and his friends and running sassy commentary while refusing to lift a finger to actually help.
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pavel as the ex-manager
before benz came along… pavel used to run the place. the club might be one of many in benz’s mother’s nightlife portfolio, kind of forgotten about, but for pavel it is his passion project, his safe space, his. he put his blood, sweat and tears into keeping the place from shutting down and now this rich bitch and his even richer, bitchier friend show up to tear the entire place down and change everything? he gets demoted and sent to work the floor and there is nothing he can do about it. but he sure as hell isn't going to quit - he won't give them the satisfaction and someone needs to make sure they won't turn his home into some tourist trap strip club or drag the staff into shady dealings. not on his fucking watch.
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pooh as the boyfriend
pooh is pavel’s boyfriend and they live together in the small apartment above the club, two broke boys style. pooh used to work part-time at the club because he’s studying and well… scholarships don't cover everything and it quickly adds up. however, after benz takes over, pavel wants him nowhere near the place. the vibes are off and he really didn't like the way benz zeroed in on pooh when pooh came down on his way to night class. the thing is, with pavel already so stressed, pooh might have failed to mention how the university decided to cut back on his financial aid and he really, really needs to find a way to make money fast.
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youremyheaven · 6 hours
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Random Mini Astrology Observations: Vedic Edition
Warning: This is just a string of random thoughts lol, don't compare it to my best work on here. It's a bunch of stuff I've had in my drafts and I'm trying to clear it all out
Before I get into this, I just want to say, that whether my observations are positive or negative, it won't apply to every individual who has these placements. 8 billion people exist on this planet, and not everyone will exhibit the same good or bad qualities. I hate having to put this PSA because some people don't get it but yeah "not all Lunars/Venusians/Nodals/Solars/Jup/Sat are going to be the same".
Jupiter influenced men are known for being introverted cutie pies who kinda have that mature-dilf-y vibe.
Obviously, another category of Jupiter men are often loud, extroverted and very outgoing but I've noticed these placements heavilyyyy in celebrities "known" for being private and introverted. They are also often known for being generous and kind hearted.
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Prabhas, Vishaka Stellium (Moon, Mercury and Venus)
He is known as "darling star" and brings food that he has prepared at home for everyone on set (he is an actor). He is known for being very shy and introverted but also super sweet, generous and kind.
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Sidharth Malhotra, Vishaka Moon
Sid is known for being extremely lowkey which is RARE for a Bollywood actor. He's also quite gentlemanly and charitable
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Ratan Tata, Vishaka Moon
He is an Indian billionaire entrepreneur who lives in a small 2bhk apartment and has donated most of his personal wealth to charity. He is known for having led his company in a very humane way (there are lots of controversies and im aware of them but compared to the work culture and quality of life that most other indian companies offer its employees, TATA is in a different league).
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Keanu Reeves, Punarvasu Moon (and stellium)
i dont have to explain but Keanu is the king of kindness and generosity
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Mads Mikkelsen, Vishaka Moon
unlike his characters, Mads is actually a sweet guy and very private
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Adam Driver- Vishaka Sun
he's so private that nobody even knows he's married with a kid
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Tom Hanks, Punarvasu Sun
known for being a gentleman and quite modest. the OG nice guy and obviously very private
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Ethan Hawke, Vishaka Sun
another lowkey, private guy who is known for being nice
2. Rashmika Mandanna and Surbhi Jyoti, Swati Moon
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I find their eye area to be kinda similar?? I know they don't look alike but there are some overarching similarities between them and I think its bc they have the same moon nak.
3. I came across a comment that Akshay Kumar made about Asin and her CEO husband Rahul Sharma.
“He is madly in love with his wife, his child. It’s like he treats her like a goddess.
and guess what?? Rahul is a Purvashadha Sun 🥺😌😌
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4. Ashwini natives often have post-apocalyptic dreams
Since its the first nak and is ruled by Ketu and is in complete darkness, symbolically representing the stage before creation (which happens in Bharani), the subconscious mind is susceptible to having really strange, fcked up, war-like dreams/visions. Also bc Aries rashi is ruled by Mars, God of War.
5. every Venusian man I know kinda has a voice kink
6. Many Punarvasus crave for a simple, rustic, relaxed type of life. In fact many famous Punarvasus live on a farm
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Kaley Cuoco- Punarvasu Moon
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Bretman Rock - Punarvasu Sun
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MS Dhoni- Punarvasu Sun
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Dennis Quaid, Punarvasu Moon on his ranch
7. Jupiter and Venus are 'Brahmins' or priestly, the Sun and Mars are 'Kshatriyas' or warriors, the Moon is 'Vaishya', or a trader, Mercury is a 'Vaisya', Saturn 'Shudra', or a lower caste and Rahu and Ketu are outcastes.
This is not an observation but just an astrological fact that I thought I'd mention
8. Magha girls are often the spoilt daughters or come from very bougie families where they're the princesses. They might emotionally suffer but materially and otherwise, they're very comfortable
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Shruti Hassan- Magha Moon
she has spoken about how rough her childhood was bc of her parents' tumultuous marriage and subsequent divorce but that doesn't change the fact that she's the daughter of Kamal Hassan, one of the biggest stars in the history of Indian cinema
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Kiara Advani- Magha Moon
Kiara is from a very wealthy and illustrious family, and she grew up as a much loved, spoilt ish daughter<3
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Wonyoung- Magha Sun
Wonyoung is from a filthy rich family and she has said that she grew up very pampered. And that she didn't have an allowance bc whatever she asked for she got. However she became a trainee at 12yrs of age and that journey could not have been easy. Despite being born rich, she's had to go through a lot in life to be where she is today
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Aditi Rao Hydari- Magha Moon
she's of actual royal lineage so she's a real life princess but her parents divorced when she was a kid and she grew up with a single mom in delhi and not in a palace
9. DMX- Mula Sun (dog yoni) was obsessed with dogs
The late rapper DMX's relationship with dogs, which seems almost mythical. He was born in 1970 - the year of the Metal Dog, and in his teens he ran away from his abusive household and befriended stray dogs while vulnerable on the streets. He began to gather dogs for protection, intimidation and family, and was sent to prison for stealing a dog (a neglected dog chained up in a scrapyard). In prison, he wrote a lot of his early songs, in which he came up with his "dog" mythology, in which he imagines himself as a monstrous dog-themed gangster who barks and howls. He had a huge tattoo of his favourite dog Boomer on his back. In 2008, his 12 dogs were taken from him by cops after there were reports of animal cruelty - DMX had paid a negligent caretaker to look after the dogs while he was on tour. (The dogs lived out the rest of their lives as therapy animals in a women's prison)
I think its interesting how our yoni animal influences our life
10. As Vighati graha, male planets are: Sun, Mars, Jupiter, Rahu; female planets are: Moon, Venus, Ketu whilst two eunuch planets are Mercury and Saturn. All the standard rules for determination of the sex of the child are applicable, female signs are: Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Aquarius; male signs are: Aries, Cancer, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius and Pisces. Exalted planets indicate male issue and debilitated planets indicate female.
11. Mercurial men and Jupiter men are soooo flamboyant, sassy and gender non-conforming
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RuPaul- Vishaka Sun & Moon
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Elton John- Jyeshta Rising
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Jeff Goldblum- Jyeshta Moon
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Prince- Vishaka Rising
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Jimi Hendrix- Mars in Vishaka atmakaraka
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girlscience · 1 year
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the RAMPANT consumerism on the section of youtube I have ended up on recently is actually kind of disgusting to me. if I see one more video of a perfectly manicured hand with a hint of a sweater sleeve putting things in a target cart or using 100 bottles for a skin and hair self-care day or using 50 different cleaning products in an enormous, pristine, white home while a random pop song remix plays in the background I'm going to start destroying things.
#I know exactly how I got here#there is a specific crossover of decluttering/production hacks/workout plans/minimalism/motivational videos that leads directly#to very wealthy stay-at-home women doing sunday resets and target hauls and restocking and organizing the guest bedroom#and 4 hour pre-vacation self-care videos#but it is so BAD. I am not saying don't buy things or take care of yourself or anything like that#I literally have mentioned several times in the past two weeks that I was waiting on packages in the mail!#but GOD. the difference between buying a set of dvds I'm going to use until they fall apart#and literally having 4 bookcases of skin care products is ASTRONOMICAL#I cannot imagine a single reason anyone would ever need that much stuff#and it's All so sanitized and perfected and nothing can be out of place and it's just awful#that girl aesthetic/it girl/clean girl aesthetic/etc etc#and every single woman in these videos is perfectly shaped and tanned and hair done up#and they all wear these matching set workout fits#just oh my god girl!!!!!! what are you doing????!!!!!??#I don't know. I don't know that there's a point to this besides me complaining and being upset#but it's just so antithetical to the way I want to live and I know it's so bad for the environment#and I know it is encouraging so many people to look and act just like that#and I hate it!!!! it feels like we are never getting out sometimes for real#maybe I'm being mean. maybe they are actually very conscientious of the environment#and maybe they are only showing a once a month shopping trip#and maybe they have just been sent a ton of PR packages that they have to figure out how to store#but. it really doesn't feel or look that way
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finexbright · 5 months
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#i haven't really participated in any discourse as of late but watching that movie kinda made me think about dwd and mp#like. we know the holivia mess was such a shit show and i know that they wanted to make it look like they met on set or whatever#but i think that that stunt was in the works way before the movie deal even happened#we know that harry was seen with the mp novel in 2019. which isn't out of the norm for him because he has previously owned art by queer#artists. so in that moment of time it passed by easily. however now that we know that harry literally read that novel letter to letter and#convinced the director/producer that he would be best for the role it means that he's wanted to be part of it since 2019 itself#knowing that i think his team was already on the lookout for a role for him where he could play the straightest man possible to cover up his#role in mp. dwd was also in the talks for quite some time before that given that the script#was out in 2019 and olivia acquired it in the same year too. while yes shia was originally cast for it and we all know how that ended#but i'm just thinking about how mp started in 2019 too and dwd started around the same time his team was definitely aware of it#and it aligned perfectly that shia fell out of the movie and harry got the role and olivia got the contract of her lifetime#like. i don't think that harry organically got the role and then the stunt happened. i think harry getting the movie was FOR the stunt to#happen so that it could overlap his role in mp#i fully think the contract was ''you get an actor and a public boyfriend and we get a beard and a public straight narrative''#so like tldr version : harry wanted mp badly enough that his team found the most straight role for him and saddled him with a beard to cover#up his role in mp. and it worked too because his scenes in dwd blew up and people still thirst over that#even though mp got way more success than dwd did#which is also why they were pushing so hard for it to be a theatre release first and then onto streaming unlike mp which went to streaming#straightaway. apart from the select few theatre releases they did#and also like. so many actors who have played queer roles in media get asked about their sexuality repeatedly. like kit connor#or nicholas galitzine to the point where it becomes an obsessive need for the public to know about it#and by doing this harry doesn't get asked about it explicitly (maybe he has them banned idk) and still gets to do whatever he wants however#he wants. okay byeeeee#my policeman#don't worry darling
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slippery-minghus · 10 months
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i want to paint, but autism is hungry and needs to be fed 8hrs of skyrim a day
#i'm trying to set up to paint bc i want to!! but every bone in my body says no#i'm gonna feel sad and disappointed in myself if i don't paint because i want to actually *do* something#and not spend this whole weekend having barely even scraped the surface of what i truly genuinely wanted to do#and instead just burn away the time looking at skyrim#i'm not even really having all that much fun playing it!!! but i can't break away from it#which isn't always a bad thing especially on week days but? on a long weekend where i want to enjoy myself??#and i can't because my brain won't let me??? not fun!!!#painting is so boring and understimulating and my brain is way too foggy right now to think about mixing colors and layering#(secretly i don't even want to paint i just want to feel satisfied at creating a thing!!) (my brain is too fried to hold a thought long#enough to do the physical action of painting! it sounds wayyyy too daunting and taxing right now!!)#but if i spend this whole weekend having sat on my ass doing nothing will i feel rested? no!!!#but if i spend all my energy doing A Hobby will i feel rested? also no!!! but then i'll at least have something to show for it#i'm riling myself up and i feel like i ALMOST could make myself paint right now#but as soon as i think of what it will feel like to sit here and focus and move my hands to do the painting my brain screams NO#and sure i can argue i'll feel better if i do it i'll be glad if i do it and it'll be easier once i start#but this isn't the walk i took yesterday (that i was glad i took but still felt like garbage after)#i WANTED to take a walk. i was just struggling with the level of exertion i could manage (walk my neighborhood or drive 30min to the park?)#my brain is latching on to 8hrs a day of skyrim bc that's all i have the energy for#work has been killing me#and it's so painfully bright in my apartment but i can't close the curtains bc i need all the sunlight i can get#i WANT to have the energy to paint and enjoy it but i just don't.... (but i feel like if i Give In to the exhaustion then i'm#no better than my mom who just sits around all day refusing to live her life bc she refuses to take care of herself.#and calls sitting perfectly still—instead of actuvely managing her condition—'not letting her disability win')#(so i don't want to be that. i don't want to waste away like my mom bemoaning how i Just Can't when i totally can!!!#i could push through this exhaustion and hype myself up but the only thing i'm going to be thinking about is Am I Done Yet? Can I Rest Now?)#and i can't convince myself that 'just paint for 30min' is worth it bc mixing paint and setting up is Just So Much#enough that 'just 30min' is a lie and not a legitimate out if i need it to be#i need to commit or not do it. and i just can't......... my eyes hurt and i'm tured and i just wanna play my game#and all this indecision and feeling like i'm wasting time is just making me want to cry. im gonna close the curtains and boot up the xbox;(#personal
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morningmask27 · 7 months
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I do sometimes find it really annoying that most of the things I do right now are At Least tangentially related to a trauma I lived through.
I am living in a university dorm right now, it's a very typical thing to do, but most people return to their family home during the weekends and only really stay in the dorms because they have classes in the week and having to go from their home to the classes, especially the 9 am classes, can be heavy if they live somewhat further away. I stay in my dorm the entire week. For Reasons I don't want to go back to my old home for longer than half a day to drop my laundry and leave with clean clothes, some food and a chat with my mother. I wouldn't feel good doing so anymore, but mentioning that is weird because most people (except internationals because going to a full on other country just for the weekend, every weekend, would be a bit dumb) return to their home (My dorm feels more like home to me right now than my old house did btw).
When I say I stay in my dorm people are somewhat confused, as it on its own already implies that something must not be that good at the familial home for me to not go there for the weekends. By the simple fact I don't go back it's already implied there is something wrong, and it's true, there Is something wrong, but I can't just start explaining the whole thing, it's not really appropriate for most conversations, and I simply don't want to open up about this part of my traumas. So I just have to quickly and very blatantly brush off that fact and the unpleasant implications to continue the conversation without making it awkward and it's so annoying.
Most of my weird trauma responses at least have the added thing that if I don't verbalize them nobody will really notice. I am good at hiding them, I kinda had to, but this dorm situation is such a blatant sign of something Weird (and not the good kind) that I cannot hide since my actions on their own imply a situation already.
I am somewhat good at dealing with all of these issues, brushing off The Problems is a typical part of normal conversations, but it does get frustrating sometimes when I get severely affected by something traumatic, and it's The Only reason that my problem happened, but I cannot talk about it in casual conversations because of how heavy and intense it is. I have to vaguely mention The Horrors (They Are Complex) and move on before I make my conversation partner uncomfortable. It happened when I had to miss a class because of a severe relapse in my mental health, it happens every time I mention I stay in my dorm the weekends, it happens whenever I get too jittery and weird because of stress (I don't even always know Why I am stressed) and I just cannot explain anything about the cause because it's too heavy for most people to hear. (I do understand that fact, it makes sense you're not going to tell classmates casually about the horrific stuff you went through in your personal life, but it fucking gets annoying when it is fully related to a situation and I have to Shut The Fuck Up anyway.)
It's just frustrating to me that I have to deal with all these Weird Things because of trauma, and everyone sees them, but I cannot explain where they come from truthfully because of how much they are. It's in this weird middle state where people See I am weird hurt, but they don't Know why. I do things differently for reasons they can assume are unpleasant, but I cannot ever truly explain everything to them.
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otterandterrier · 11 months
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I'm not adapting well to being a single cat mom tbh 😔
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