#i like to be mystical (i learned from writing fic in class)

[solange-lol]

entrancing women with my incredible wit and hidden talent (touch typing)

[sacredartist33013]

Well well well... Well

I didn't actually think i ever thought I'd have the confidence or Patience to do this at all... But i guess my friend influenced me more than i thought. So i welcome you all to listen to my ramblings about a chi power system

(Okay maybe i should explain a bit better) it's been close to about a year since i became friends with who i feel like is one of the backbones of the tmnt community @brightlotusmoon (who I've talked about or @ quite a few times already) but she's also been a great friend and the person who brought back my inspiration to write again(even if it's still a little I'm still doing it again) and pretty much over that year I've been making a system for chi/spiritual energy That could be used for tmnt... More specifically it started as for 2012 because we have allot of chi stuff in 03 and rise has a whole swath of mystic powers... But this now more or less has been somewhat placed on a middle ground... But since i mostly write 2012 fics and ideas(somewhat adjustable to other ones with some elbow grease) it's mainly used in 2012.

But enough of that! You're here because you wanted to hopefully learn about the art of chi. And Professor sacred is here and class is in session. Today we cover chi origins and the basics of it.

Thank you Mr L. Greetings, I'm professor victor sacred or if you stay after this introductory lesson professor sacred. I'd like to welcome you all to chi 101

I'd ask you all to please mind my eyes. These contacts I need make them look so unsettling

Then maybe you should have thought about that before scaring professor I.

Hush you, now class this will be a relatively long class as we cover the big 3 topics today for introduction into chi.

What is chi?

The origins of manipulation.

And the core principals of chi manipulation. Chakras are also included due to how interwoven they are with chi itself.

First off we shall answer question one right now. What is chi?

Chi or ki as it's also been called exists in all living things, and has been harnessed and used by others for centuries with a variety of methods. From channeling it into objects, to using mantras and or hand signs, to tags and seals(disposable one use and permanent) using all kinds of wording and symbols (studies have shown mainly kanji work the best. Perhaps this is due to the origins of where chi manipulation comes from or that this type of manipulation is most used and practiced there) now the picture above class is a loose representation of a soul... My soul to be specific. The inner layer of pink is known as a core. The s surrounding my core is what we call the chi wellspring. You could also call cores the true soul. All cores are personally tailored to you as an individual. This representation is my soul as a child. It's tailored but not as much as it could be. A blank slate that becomes less blank if you will.

Is that why it looks like your eyes minus contacts

Are you saying look blank?

You have no pupils

Neither do you buddy.

And who's fault is that?

Can we do this when I'm not teaching a class? I have at least one diligent student out there waiting for our lessons.

Sure sure sure teach,teach away

Now unlike some other supernatural energies we'll cover in the future Chi is more of a subtle power system. It's flash and glow is often very low. However The effects and the flashiness of chi spells and techniques can be strengthened by repetition of actions within the spell. Things like repeating certain mantras and hand signs in your techniques. However do not think you can do this willy nilly.

Despite the references to games we like to use in our lessons sometimes this isn't a game. Starting chi practitioners can get very hurt or potentially suffer more dangerous versions of the usual drawbacks of chi.

That my students is why beginners mustn't use more then 3 to 4 repetitions per spell at a time without some form of support in the form of other chi users or gofu(a lesson we'll cover another time)The more repetition in your technique the more strain and drain put onto your chi wellspring

I don't think we talked about the wellspring yet prof

And if you hadn't derailed my initial talk about cores with talk of my eyes we wouldn't need to cover it here. The wellspring would be the blue fiery energy surrounding the core. We all start with a specific amount(some more then others) and those that typically are told of there potential to manipulate chi or sharpen spiritual intution often have even more chi.

However do not despair students. If you were born with a low chi wellspring. There are many ways to increase your wellspring. Meditation not only replenishes one's wellspring but also can increase it's depth. Similarly when one empties their wellspring dry they also can increase it's depth.

Do not take that as an invitation to waste spiritual energy. Running low on or out of chi can give you quite the fatigue. Massive headaches and even some drowsiness are very common as well. There's even been accounts of things like anemia and nosebleeds from straining or using too much... Even partial seizures for particularly mentally draining techniques

That's not even counting for the overdrive

Ah yes, a very dangerous problem indeed. The overdrive happens when one reaches their limit on chi. And replenish their drained wellspring with a special form of fighting meditation and continuing to fight with it without proper rest or meditation technique. Sort of a quick meditation to get the core flowing energy again. Only now all 7 chakras are in overdrive alongside your core. Producing larger and larger portions of chi. But There is a trade off. Core overdrive is a last hooray style of technique. That should only be used in the most dire of circumstances.

The technique is so dangerous because your body is not meant to produce so much spiritual power so fast. It causes your body to enter a comatose state. In worse cases of over use you could even experience something called the phasing soul travel. Now soul travel is another fancy term for an astral plane journey. The phasing soul journey however is not a good one at all. Your very physical form phases out of reality and into the astral planes as a wandering soul. While this is reversible students you might not want to. The planes have been known to be very euphoric to these souls. So getting them to return is much much harder.

However do not let that discourage you from trying to get a wandering soul home. You'll know the difference between these wandering journey souls and a normal one when you first see them. The chi markings on there body alone are the indicator of a soul can phase back to the mortal world into there body

Please do not let this discourage you from studying chi. While these side effects and consequences are dangerous so long as you have proper help with managing your chi usage and have the proper help and knowledge you'll be safe.

As well as proper managing of chi and how much your wellspring has left. Like mr L has said before we like to use gaming terms many times in our lessons but chi is always not a game. We have no real built in ways to say we have nothing left. Not like role play games with their spell slots. Or a screen and bar to tell us were out of mana. Not even a point system to say we are out of points. What we do have are techniques you might consider cantrips. Techniques that use up so little to no chi in your wellspring that you can use them all the time. You'll find all chi techniques in some way or form come from these wisp techniques as we'll call the cantrips of chi. They're one of the building blocks of chi itself.

Another building block would be the level system for chi. A little different to usual systems found in other powers because chi runs with repetition. So the level system operates on a different level to say mystical powers or even powers you need to charge in order to get stronger.

Chi can be charged. In fact it's the bread and butter of a sect within chi manipulation called chi weaving. Needing to charge your techniques. Something we will cover in next weeks class?... Mr l whats next weeks chi class?

It would be chi items and spirits... So maybe next weeks class after that.

Ah,okay.

While i have it here perhaps we should open up on chakras?

Excellent idea! Now pay attention to the board class

This would be a rough estimate of the 7 chakras from the root to the enlightenment chakra. Please thank mr L for his generous rough drawing of the 7 chakras.

Why thank you for the compliment.do not think there are only 7 chakras these are only 7 out of the 100s of chakras. These are simply the most important ones for chi work.

That's correct, there are in fact hundreds of chakras out there. But chi manipulation cares the most about these main 7.

The red root chakra

The orange sacral chakra

The yellow solar plexus chakra

The green heart chakra

The blue throat chakra

The indigo 3rd eye chakra

And the violet enlightenment chakra

Think of these chakras almost like gears or water wheels for the chi to flow around and get to turning

Or even stops on a road while chi is the car that travels to and stops at them

You could even think of chakras as wells the chinriver travels under that can be collected by the wells buckets. the process makes your aura more vibrant and visible

Aura could be what you'd consider the 'flash' of chi. Your spiritual energy given physical and visible form to others that cannot see them normally. But on its own this aura is still low flash.

Chakra points also tend to mix into your techniques powers or harmonize with whatever your trying to do by merging their powers with your chi. It's something we in the modern day use to help explain the powers we can get from chi.

Another thing that helps us is a method as old as chi manipulation itself

Even older L. It predates the 6 principals and the more ways we have to focus chakras and chi into techniques... The infamous kuji in... Or it should be familiar to you if you're serious about this class

Perhaps we should do another quick lesson on This. We are in an introductory class after all.

This class is the kuji in. Sometimes in chi you'll also see it be called the kuji kiri, this was a term usually coined by ninjas for there meditation.

This would be why many of the chi users are ninjas or ninjutsu knowledgeable in some way.

The kuji kiri are also sometimes called the 9 sacred cuts. It's very important for you to know what each of these 9 are. What each mantra stands for.

Rin for Strength

Pyō for Channel

Tō for Harmony

Sha for Healing

Kai for Sense of Danger

Jin for Reading of thoughts

Retsu for Control of space and time

Zai for Control of sky and elements

Zen for Enlightenment

The very first words ever truly used to control and dictate the energy of the soul. And with time, the healing hands mantra came from it as a way to increase the cuts that healed in some way. Each mantra has some effect of recovery of some kind within it.

Whether it be to and sha doing the back bone of physical and mental healing and balancing. Or kai and jin letting you sense the danger around or where it hurts the most for a patient, or channel the phantom purifying essences of the elements zai and zen filled enlightenment of zen. It was all channeled to a point by pyo and strengthened by rin.and retsu could slow down the injured bodies worsening condition All to work with the spiritual energy and chakras of not just the healer and healing patient,but by anyone who is willing to chip in. Proper/more refined chi manipulation would come later on as well the 5 chi principals. But the 9 sacred cuts meant to work with the 7 chakras and your own souls energy well was the most primal form of chi manipulation... Some might consider it the most pure air easiest to understand. Many ninja clan passed down the sacred cuts and some even tried to alter,add or improve on the sacred art for better results.

As it stands these 9 short mantras that make up the mantras of the healing hands that make up the backbone of chi as a whole are often used by starting chi practitioners as guiding points and stabilizers to keep unstable chi techniques from getting too dangerous. The words are so grounded and stable using them in mantras not from the original circle will actively stabilize a rookies chi techniques so hotshots or people with difficulties on the lesson don't hurt themselves or others.

What were looking at children is essentially the mother tongue of chi. The most important and oldest words and movements chi will ever have.

Hence why this mini lesson shouldn't have been needed.

Is that why you didn't even bring up the picture i got for this lesson

No it's supposed to be right... There...

Why don't we take a small break so me and professor s can see what's going on.

-----------------------10 minutes later-----------------

Alright class we're back and it looks like we hit a limit with our board. Only 10 pictures per lesson.

Totally bogus by the way.

But that's neither here nor there. We'll just simply paste a reminder lesson about the 9 hand signs after class. Let us move on for now to the final topic of our lesson... The 6 chi core principals.

Chi has existed far longer then we have recorded. But chi itself has a class of 6 core principals we began developing and further learning about after we learned about the kuji in and how to use it

Now because of that class we have 6 symbols to show you. One for each chi core principal. Let's get to it class because i know long lessons get you and your brains very tired

Specialization 

The principal of specialization involves the infusing of your chi or aura with a unique effects.great examples include giving your aura the effect of increasing recovery in yourself or others

Rather great pair up with the healing hands matras

There's also magnetizing something covered in your aura or making your aura as warm as a flame.

Do remember your aura itself doesn't actually change forms. Its effects will change but you cannot use specialization to make real fire or similar tangible elements. But this does not stop specialized auras from affecting fire or plants. Or even from producing light. It all comes down to changing the auras nature and effects on things

Manipulation

The symbol itself speaks for itself but to explain it a bit more the principal of manipulation allows the use of your chi to manipulate or control something that's got your chi in it.

Think of this being Like telekinesis or even puppeteering with strings. Do remember class People or objects with chi of their own will fight you if you try controlling them.

It's also very good at puppeting your own body if it's unable to on its own. Like if you had broken limbs or paralysis of some kind. That in itself is very taxing and requires precision and finesse

 seal and release 

Seal and release will be talked about a bit more next lesson but for now the basics on it are simple. Using your chi to seal or release something.

A big example of this principal is astral projection. Where one releases their spirit from there body or seals it back inside themselves again.

But the biggest seal and release principal examples are gofu. But that's the main subject of next lesson.

Enhancment

Now do keep in mind that despite conevntional ideas of use the principal of encanment is not just defined by strengthening a person. Even if that sounds and feels like the kost obvious use.

Enhancement can also be used on objects as well object. Any possible upgrade is possible. Something like softening skin or bolstering a piece of paper both count as enhancements.

If I'm not mistaken a lesson in enhancements for students at the school starfall academy of spiritual power uses pillows one sits on for meditation

You'd be correct.

Transmutation

The prinipal of transmuation is a simple and familar one. changing the qualities of your chi to match something else like becoming fire or electricity. It's still energy but has changed in a way

It's almost always energy related on it's own So don't go thinking you can make any item with one principal. You'll need another for that. It's a very important part to creating energy called mental chi and mystic chi.

Please do not confuse specialization and transmutation. They are separate in their own ways. But you need both principals for those power sources mr L mentioned. It'll be a second before we cover them.

conjuration

 And now class we finally reach the last principal of chi. The principal of conjuration.

This conjures up crystalized versions of whatever object you want. Might seem very weird of useless to the non knowing but spiritual energy is very in tune with crystals. Rock crystal,ice crystals.

Sugar crystals! And you can also imbue it and manipulate its qualities onxyour own for stronger crystals or more powerful effects.

every chi technique needs several of the core principals in some way shape or form. Not just the main one for them. But chi techniques have a main principal they use and ones that follow follow it(usually 1 or 2 additional principals). Even being upgraded by using the other not needed ones.

Let's give an example. If you mix conjuration, transmutation and specialization. What you get is the ability to turn chi into just about any item with enough practice.

tricks like that are not all this combination can do. Last month i lost my right arm and had heavy damage to the left. And with a lengthy healing process that resulted in about 2 days of constant sleep i awoke with a massive scar but my arm reattached.

When he says lengthy he means lengthy. The healer needed astral footholds and the chi of our professor here just to keep going. A lot of repeated Rin,pyo,sha and to.

They had to use conjuration to form not only new nerves but also to form rose quartz wands and eggs. A gemstone of healing in the form of a director and healer respectively.

Specialization made my aura and there's extra healer strong. Giving healing and purifying properties to both pur auras and purging the arm and body of whatever toxins that were still around.

The wands and eggs combined with pyo also gave much help in directing all energy to both our heart and solar plexus chakras. The 2 most healing chakras out of the 7. Solar plexus especially could.be considered a multiplier of energy.

Let me tell you that was a light show. 6 chakras shining brightly between the healer and the professor here. Yellows,greens,and red all mingle with that rose quartz pink and plue chi and white healing aura. The process was somewhat lengthy. Making new nerves or healing and reattaching damaged ones as possible is a process you don't want to skip if you want minimal nerve damage

My arms are fine now, but they are still some more movement therapy and my arms have some pains now. Looks like the body and soul still remember the loss of my right with how it hurts sometimes. The healer wasn't as experienced as I'd like so i was nervous he'd end up taking the final bang.

While this example was more detailed then i thought we'd get were officially out of time.

Ah yes class the lesson is done for today. We will tune in text week for a class on the gofu we kept talking about

[copperbadge]

It was Freud!

So I'm currently studying Psychology and Sociology, and we've just done Freud in Psychology and we've started focusing on identity in Sociology. I'm writing up some homework for the latter when the phrase "a child's personality is set by the age of five" pops into my head. But its not in my notes at all, and it's very specific wording.

I just now realised that I didn't read about in it Psychology, I instead read it in your fic, Ironsides about fiveish years ago now, and it just stuck with me. Some quick googling revealed it was related to Freud's Theory of Five Stages of Psychosexual Development, which we did cover in class but that phrase never came up.

So thanks for helping me learn I guess :D

LOL I was very confused for a hot second, like "WHAT was Freud?" because right before opening my inbox I left a comment on someone's post about leftist mystics asking "Didn't a bunch of British mystics try to curse Hitler? Although if that was Crowley it was ego, not politics" and then the next thing I saw was this ask saying "It was Freud!"

Now, "Sigmund Freud: Antifascist Wizard" would be a banger of a novel, but then I read on :D

For context for readers, there is indeed a line at the start of Ironsides where Peggy, who in that AU is Tony's mother, asks her if she'll always be this way and she replies that a child's personality is set by the age of five.

What's so funny is that I didn't get it from Freud either. I knew enough to know it was a real thesis someone had floated, but I got it from another fanfic, now long since lost to the sands of time, probably an X-Files fanfic. The line stuck with me and I used to think "Well, in that case I'm truly fucked" but like Tony eventually I figured out it wasn't true.

In any case I'm glad I could help you learn a thing! Don't trust that Freud, he might be a wizard.

[its-wabby-stuff]

I made a piece of art.

The year is 2024 during the Krang invasion. Having settled most of the resources and remaining New Yorkers within the Hidden City, Leonardo takes on an important role in the refugee camps: preparing the next generation for the apocalypse. His brothers hope that he can train them and perhaps show them how to have a bit of fun even through the bitter times. Perhaps, the kids might teach him a thing or two as well.

I’m writing an apocalypse fic, and I made some OCs. Description under the break.

From Left to Right:

Dai: 8 years old. Orphaned. After a terrible accident in which his mother died, he was left with an awful scar and damaged vocal cords, making him mute. He finds his own ways to communicate, but he never really had the chance to learn how to write. He doesn’t try to communicate very much at all and prefers to observe. He is a very sweet kid. He is always carrying his Bunny stuffie, Patches, as it brings him a lot of comfort and helps calm him down. It is the last thing he got from his mother. He sticks very close to Leo. Was saved by Michelangelo.

Oliver: 5 years old. Has his father. Oliver has no recollection of anything before Krang. His innocence and curious nature causes him to ask a lot of questions. He is hyperactive and loves running around, and one of the only ways to calm him down is to hold him. He likes to trace different patterns on people, like the lines in the palm of hands or Leo’s stripes. He was put in the class as a way to drain his energy while his father takes the adult class with Cassandra.

Auryn: 10 year old. Has both parents. Auryn is a Yokai from a well known Yokai family in the hidden city. Her life hasn’t really changed since the invasion, although the presence of humans and the overcrowded parts of town are new. Her parents are against humans, but Auryns not so sure. She is one of the few Yokai in the class, and had to join when she discovered her favorite two time Battle nexus champ was going to be teaching. She has a huge celebrity crush on Leo that makes it hard for her to look him in the eyes. She has a shining intelligence and a special gift that may prove useful in these trying times.

Jace: Age unknown. Believed to be around 10-12 years old. Orphaned. Raph found him wandering around the surface about a year ago. He won’t tell anyone what happened before. Jace is a bright kid, despite his horrors, and has this dream of becoming a hero. He isn’t very good at learning though, and most of the lessons Leo teaches go straight over his head, so he finds way to make it fun and disrupt class. He loves pulling pranks, especially on Auryn, and Oliver is his partner in crime. He will not split with the scarf wrapped around his neck. He gets on Leo’s nerves the most despite all their similarities.

Nora: 14 years old. Has her mother. Nora has only ever had her and her mother. She remembers the most about life before the Krang and has a fighting spirit. She’s the oldest in the class and hates to be stuck with all the babies, believing she could handle much more. She mostly keeps to herself and can usually be found leaning against the wall giving judgemental looks. She’s tough and strong and ready to throw hands with anyone whose looking for a fight. Only one person has been able to loosen her from her shell.

Renet: 13 years old. Orphaned. She/them. Renet was orphaned king before the events of the Krang. Her mother (a Yokai) and her father (a human) were persecuted for their forbidden romance and it caused both to abandon them. Deemed too human for Yokai and too Yokai for humans they were left to fend for themselves until word of their hidden talent was heard by Big Mama herself. She’s been living with Big Mama ever since, not in the best living conditions but it was a home nonetheless. She has a natural talent for mystics, and an ability they keep all to themselves. She makes an effort to get along with everyone in the class, and is seen as kind, calm, and wise beyond her years.

Additional shots. Background and Art all done by me. Thanks for reading! Likes and Reblogs appreciated.

[acerodons]

Gonna post my first finished mp100 short here

No AO3 until I get more done.

Inspired by this https://twitter.com/AcerodonJubatus/status/1633833535890153472?s=20

(Please keep in mind this is my FIRST TIME writing these characters and I have not written anything in months due to *gestures at everything*)

FIC UNDER CUT WOO

--------------------------------

Tension

Seri x Reigen fic

Teen

The sun had not yet set bringing that mystical mix of the city street at night with the final, red rays of the day. Street lamps and store fronts grew in presence as shadows stretched long before melting together. With spring not fully realized, the lack of warmth quickly turned every exhale into a small cloud. Even on the bus everyone kept their long coats zipped up and gloves on.

 Seri stood with one hand keeping himself steady on a support bar with his gaze idly watching the passing buildings. The last of the crimson faded from the sky. Three more, two more turns; one stop in between. He hoped the notes he took today were sufficient, as all he had going through his mind had dissolved down to lights and numbers with the swelling joy of finally getting to go back home. The bus hit a few potholes and he was forced out of his day dream. His stop was already next.

 Their cohabitation ended up as a meager, pseudo studio apartment. At least it was near the deli and a bakery. The landlord claimed it was a one bedroom with plenty of charm. He probably was referring to the window facing the small garden shop and not the closet like living space. Didn’t matter to Seri. He walked briskly up the stairs, breath trailing behind him as he unlocked and opened the door.

 Warmth met his cold face, mixed with the scents of instant noodles and green tea. Another smell pricked at the back of his mind but was soon covered with lavender.  A single candle burned on the meager kitchen counter/dining area – a gift from Shou for the new years. Setting his bag down, Seri was relieved to finally be back. He removed his coat and shook off the remaining chill. One benefit of a tiny place was it was cheap and easy to keep warm, even more so when they were both on the couch together.

 And there lay Reigen on said couch, legs hanging off the side as the TV droned on some news special about vegetables and fruit and which were the best to eat. He was bare foot and still in his pants and shirt from work but with jacket off and buttons undone.

 “I’m back!” Seri spoke with a cheer in his voice, taking off his own shoes. “Sorry for being late, the class ran over like it does every Friday.”

 There was a grunt in reply. Reigen gave a nod. “Yeah of course.”

 By the time Seri arrived home every weekday, Reigen had already started his long wind down to bedtime. He pulled back his legs and shifted over to give enough for Seri to join him on the couch. They both sat weary but comfortable from a full week. Lazy, but accomplished. Then Seri noticed it: the dull look in his eyes, the tense posture, one hand fisted into a ball with the other fidgeting with the undone tie at his chest.

 “Taka-“

 Reigen could feel the eyes on him and at once started painting his cover. “So how was school? Learn anything interesting?” His balled hand rose to give a few gestured as he prattled on. “You know, soon you’ll be far enough to tutor Mob. Heard you are working with Shou. Funny how it all comes back to you like that.”

 “Yeah.” Seri blinked, looking down at the floor. “I’m shocked but pleased how fast I caught back on.”

 “See? Like riding a bike.” A forced laugh from Reigen. “Expect with books and math. And way too many essays.” He sat up more in the couch, posture still ridged. “Say, are they still assigning those? I remember getting a pile over the weekends. Made it hard to do anything else.”

 “Well, not many this weekend. More starting projects.” Seri hated the silence that fell after his last word.

 Not even enough energy for that, huh Taka? He wanted to say it out loud. So many nights Reigen would rant and rave until making the excuse to depart for bed in the end. He’d lie in Seri’s arms, eventually falling into a fitful sleep. Talking was his style, yet he ended up saying so little.

 The TV went on, ads before a report on local construction. Seri felt his shoulder droop, each passing second wanting to do something. He closed his eyes.

 “I know you can smell it.” Reigen was staring at the floor too, hands still in his lap. He shot a glance over to Seri. “I only finished one. Started the second and was-“ He paused, his hands tensing into fists, “so disgusted with myself I threw it on the ground.” Forcing a grin he met Seri’s eyes. “Imagine me, wasting a cigarette like that?”

 Seri frowned back, but not out of disappointment. Without any judgment he wrapped an arm around Reigen and held him close. The man gave in, leaning against his shoulder.

 “You’re so tense. Come here.”

 Seri started rubbing down along the back. He had caught himself many times in the past with his spine arched, tongue pushed against the top of his mouth, and his shoulders rigid. Especially at school. He wondered how many hours Reigen was stuck in that stressful loop, his body mirroring the storm in his brain. Seri shifted up to gently massage Reigen’s neck.

 “It was such a long week. Between that angry patron and those two twins  and the new electric bill and-“ Reigen started gesturing again, the tension in his arms trying to free itself through his fingers but only getting trapped

 “You don’t have to explain anything.”

 Seri slouched down into the couch, offering his chest. Reigen rested his head. Another bout of silence; this one far less stressful. The sound of cars and people outside mingled with the TV. Just the two of them enjoying each other’s company. In the idle time, Seri took to using his powers to tidy up a bit of the apartment – putting away some dishes into the sink and stacking mail and books. The objects glowed lightly in his aura as they floated about. He even readied the bed for their eventual departure for the night, all while massaging his stressed roommate.

Reigen’s voice came in such a muffed whisper Seri could barely hear it.

 “I’m so glad you’re home.”

 Seri could still feel the tightness just from gently stroking Reigen’s back. He gave a long exhale, hoping he could be as good at this as his boss.

 “You’ve told me a few times-“ He paused, trying o find the right words “That it’s ok to be wrong. I mean, like this.” Seri exhaled again, more of a frustrated sigh. “Pain, hurt. It’s a part of life and not some terrible sin.” He glanced down at Reigen. “Sorry. You said it far better than me.”

 “Nothing wrong with suffering, nothing wrong with stumbling. “Reigen mumbled into Seri’s chest. “If you never had a bad day you wouldn’t be alive.” He gave a snort. “Sounds corny now that I hear it myself.”

 Seri looked down, meeting Reigen’s sleepy gaze. “It’s not that corny.”

 Regien grinned back, their lips growing closer. “Yes it is.”

 Both their trains of thought had met on the same track and were now derailing. Seri leaned in for a long kiss, pushing against Reigen as he resumed his back massage. His fingers circled over higher muscles before trailing lower. A shudder in his arms.

 “You’re getting better at this.” Reigen was smiling wide now, his whole face not afraid of hiding his emotions.

 “And you are still too tense.”

 Seri was answered with another kiss. He stopped his massage as Reigen shifted, turning so his chest was out now and his neck craning up for more. Naturally, Seri’s hands caressed up between the unbuttoned shirt. There was already sweat beading there.

 Both their breathing grew heavy. He broke off from the kiss, allowing his lips to trail down, tongue against Reigen’s cheek. Lower and lower. Hands gripped his shirt hard as he teased. Suddenly, a moan broke out, Reigen jolting up before giving a shudder and flopping onto his back on the other side of the couch.

 What had he done just now? He was only touching the chest, his lips- oh- his tongue. There was a slight red mark on the skin along where the larynx gives form when one tilts their head up. Though half open eyes, Reigen let out a grateful sigh.

 This warranted further experimentation. Seri straddled Reigen, pinning his hands down as he resumed paying attention to the neck. His lips first, then the tongue, up the full length from the middle gap of the clavicle to the base of the chin. This time the moan was a yell, shaking and airy, Reigen breathing hard. He tried to push back but could only lie; helpless under Seri as his nerves fired in a perfect pattern. In the end, the normally confident, smooth talking man was a puddle with his legs crossed and his mouth open, trying to catch his breath. Seri blushed.

 Slower now. He gently took the neck in one hand, rubbing his thumb along the same path. Reigen gripped back, panting and moaning as he looked up through cracked eyelids.

 Su- suya.” He was stumbling over syllables now.

 Seri leaned down and gave another kiss at the spot. Under him, Reigen kept his head tilted back, stare fluttering back. He was making it clear. Even Suya could get it. Do anything, rip off his shirt, pin him down, break this couch ravaging him. A long, ragged exhale before Reigen reached up, taking Seri’s tie in his hands. A little tug in invitation.

 Seri sat up, pulling a small notepad out of his pants pocket with a pen and began scribbling down notes.

 “Hey! What?”

 Reigen sat up, a fit of amusement and rage mixing with the heat in his chest. In the end he cracked a smile.

 “Suya. You can’t be serious.” Reigen shook his head.

 Seri was still writing, his paper having a small diagram of Reigen’s neck with notes around it.

 Hands engulfed the notebook. “How about you take notes after?” Reigen took the pen and paper away, leaving them to fall to the floor. “I’m sure there’ll be much more to learn tonight.”

 Seri blushed harder, giving a sheepish grin. They settled into the couch again with Reigen on top now. They started again with a long kiss as the light from the TV flashed colors over the embracing pair.

[s1utspeare]

Get To Know Me!

@foxofninetales tagged me in this ask game and since I LOVE HER i will now be doing it (i mean i’d do it anyway but now it will be filled with love for FOX i am not accepting CRITICISM ON THIS POINT)

Part I

name: Brigid! I’m named after the Irish goddess of like, poetry, healing, smithcraft, and protection, or the Irish saint (they’re both pretty similar it’s just whether or not you’re talking about Celtic religion or Catholicism). She’s very cool, and I think it’s a very fitting name for who I turned out to be!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i’m an insufferable theatre kid of course I’m a Leo

height: 5'8″ babeeeyyy (172 cm). I’m not short like, at all, but all of my family members are over six foot, so I’m like. tiny in comparison. they all make fun of me all the time for it :(

time: 8:49pm! A delightful time of evening!!! 

birthday: July 31st, same day as Harry Potter lol.

nationality: american :P

fave bands/groups/solo artists: hnnnngggghhhh why would u ask me this I don’t KNOW jk i just have a lot uhhhhh all time faves would be Bastille and Mumford and Sons, but I’m SUPER into kpop right now, so my top groups are BTS, Stray Kids, and One OK Rock (who are technically jpop but I really like their stuff). I also am a Broadway BITCH (hello, theatre kid) so before this year all of my Spotify library was basically just show tunes. 

song stuck in your head: Get Away by VeriVery. I think they’re a pretty new group? idk i saw them on one of those tumblr promotional things and checked out the music video which is like??? really interesting conceptually? so I’ve just been listening to the song for a while lol. 

last movie you watched: Train to Busan! I’m gearing up to write a dmbj zombie apocalypse AU and so I was like “this is a popular zombie film! I’ll watch it for inspiration! :)” holy shit. holy shit i was so wrong. It’s one of the most viscerally affecting films I think I’ve ever seen, I was like. On the verge of an anxiety attack the entire time but in like the best possible way?? it’s a mastery of character introduction and action/horror and I cried for like the last ten minutes straight. SO affecting. I do NOT RECOMMEND IT if u are already made anxious by zombie apocalypse scenarios, blood, violence, and a Lot of Death. 

last show you binged: hmmm uh like I’m currently watching Mystic Nine but at like a normal pace, so the last show I probably binge watched was maybeeee The Uncanny Counter on Netflix? HIGHLY recommend that one, I made @cross-d-a watch it and I’m living for her liveblog reactions lmao. Idk most of my free time has been spent writing the past few months which. After months of only having the energy to watch shows is kind of really invigorating? the things u can do when u fix ur health I’ll tell you what

when you created your blog: in 2012 asldighalsdkfjladskjga i came on here to like burdge’s pjo fanart :)

the last thing you googled: "is it bad not to have an air cap on your tire” ALSDIGHALKDFJLADFJA FUCK ME (i learned that it’s not necessarily bad but it can get dirt and stuff built up in there so I went to the store after work today and replaced it)

other blogs: everything is here bc i am too lazy to create a sideblog! so sorry to everyone who does not follow me for cdrama content bc this is all I am now. 

why i chose my url: cause it’s my ao3 username and i wanted people to be able to find me more easily on tumblr! :) the long answer is because i love shakespeare and also i think that slut is a really funny word and concept for me especially because i am one of the most sexless people u will ever meet in ur life so slutspeare is like. an aggressively ace joke that only I think is funny. 

how many people are you following: 588

how many followers do you have: ah just over 200?!??!!? which is like. a lot for me. I think it was like 75 up until like last year omg 

average hours of sleep: my sleep app says I average around eight! which is very good for me! I do have to get enough sleep consistently or I will Have A Bad Time so my sleep schedule is pretty good and luckily I don’t have the Insomnia depression I have the Sleep Lots one which I am glad for bc idk what I’d do if I couldn’t Be Unconscious regularly. Die probably. 

lucky numbers: I don’t think I have lucky numbers?? my favorite number is 21 for no reason other than the vibes alone. 

instruments: i’ve played the piano for uhhhh.... eighteen years now? and I can play the ukulele and am surprisingly good with the recorder since I’ve had to play it in Multiple Theatre Performances. I was also an honor choir singer back in high school so I’ve done a lot of select ensemble stuff which was super fun! 

what i'm currently wearing: a Life Is Good long-sleeved t-shirt that says “Not All Who Wander Are Lost” that I got in a military surplus store like a million years ago and red Adidas athletic shorts that I found at the thrift store a couple weeks back

dream job: playwright! I just wanna be a playwright! playwriting is like drugs i literally go nuts for it

dream trip: I don’t know??? I don’t really like traveling tbh aslidhalkfdj umm I do want to see the grand canyon sometime before I die tho so maybe a road trip down there? I definitely like traveling solo so I’d probably just hang out with myself and drive and go to whatever places I want and see dumb tourist attractions and sing loudly in the car

fave food: CURRY i know i said eggs the last time it asked me this but I miss my local Indian restaurant I want to eat literal Platefuls of tikka masala at 12pm at the Indian buffet after my physics class again :(

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: hmmm i don’t know, actually! probably one where I have Powers and could do Cool Hand Motions and make Lights Appear. If I were anywhere with like. An Actual World-Dooming problem tho I would not be helpful at all. I would just die. Besides, I already live in fictional universes half the time, I’m a writer! 

Part II

last song: Basquiat by Pentagon! The music video is like. Very whumpy. So if you’re into that... the song’s also a bop

last stream: i don't watch streams very often, I just watch clips from them, cause those usually just give the best parts lol 

currently reading: mmmmmbbbaaaaahhhhh literally nothing? I’m trying to get caught up on the backlog of dmbj fic I haven’t gotten around to so Binding by @vishcount is next on that list! oh I guess I’m also reading Johnny Tremain with my kids (one of them SPOILED THE END and I forgot how it ended and now I’m big sad). 

currently watching: Mystic Niiiiinnnneeeeee! love those gay history bitches. everyone in that show is so funny. I just finished the Fuba Side Plot tho and now we’re back to Politics so i’m like >:( someone give zhang baby rishan a hug (and then i write angst about him what is wrong with me)

what is antipoetry to you: antipoetry??? what the heck is antipoetry hold on... uhhhh that’s just poetry. who came up with this term. i guess like lyrical fiction would be the technical correct definition but idk I consider anything to be poetry! like that’s the whole point! poetry is poetry is poetry as long as it’s focused on intensity and emotions it’s poetry! a haiku? poetry. the random one-lined mess of words on my phone? poetry. a literal drawing of a cardinal with the word “bird” written next to it? poetry. idk I’ve been trying to teach my kids that there are no wrong ways to write creatively; if you’re expressing yourself and making emotions, then you’re writing! also like half of my work could be considered antipoetry lmao. I love emotionally supercharging the mundane.

currently craving: i have noooo ideaaaasssss i’m literally just vibing. uh. water? ok i took care of that one my water bottle was right next to me. 

AH IF YOU READ THIS MUCH THANK YOU???? i love u 

uhhhh no pressure tags for @xia-xueyi, @nope4ever, @bookjoyworm, @elletromil, and @gaiahenshin, as well as anyone else who would like to give the full-rundown on themselves! :D

[not-krys]

WIP Wednesday: Kitten Heels [Mystic Messenger]

[Image from ao3commentoftheday]

This was a mostly self indulgent fic I did back when I was big into Mystic Messenger and was writing Jumin into just about everything I did back then.

The basic idea was that MC wanted to learn how to walk in heels and Jumin is more than happy to indulge his new wife. Was kinda inspired from the Valentine’s After Stories. Didn’t get to the actual walking part, but this was fun to write nonetheless.

And the standard warnings also apply here. It’s raw and unedited text (judging by the meandering), plus it’s not finished (probably won’t be for a while). Basically just Juju fluff.

---------- In your entire life, never had you thought you would end up as you did. From the moment you both met the other in person to now being newlyweds back at home, everything had been a whirlwind for the past month or so. 

You also didn’t think you were the type to marry a guy you had only know for a little over a week. Didn’t stuff like that happen in fairy tales or trashy romance novels?

And yet, here you were, married to a very powerful businessman and living the life people could only dream of. 

You still pinched yourself sometimes, too.

And then there was your husband himself, a force of his own. Through your own soft heart, his was opened up little bit by little bit, giving him kind and encouraging words when his mind was full of chaos and turmoil. 

What was it that made him fall for someone like you, and especially so quickly? It was hard for you to figure out. You never thought of yourself as anyone particularly special, not especially pretty or talented, but Jumin never agreed with you on that.

If there was a word for it, you seemed to fascinate him, the way you saw it. You both were from different classes, practically different worlds. You were different to him, something he could figure out and act accordingly.

Not that you would admit it aloud, but.. Jumin was intriguing to you as well, in his own way. Something that you could puzzle out as well. Like, in the early ‘days’ of your marriage, he loved to spoil you rotten, especially with presents. Something that reminded him of you, something he thought you might like, anything you personally asked for was immediately given to you (Seven even joked that you should start asking for the most random and obscure things, just to see if he would get it.)

(You feared that he actually would and never were tempted). 

While it was incredibly sweet, the sheer volume of his presents, especially some of the bigger and more expensive items, was a little overwhelming at times. Even now, you were still surprised at how easy it was for Jumin to acquire things, things you used to see on TV and magazines that was a pipe dream to afford before, now Jumin could get for you by snapping his fingers.

It took only a little bit to realize that was just the way he knew how to express love. It was how he and his father expressed their familial love for each other, and how Jumin’s father expressed his love to his girlfriends. It was safe to assume this was how Jumin knew how to express it. 

Matter of fact, until you came along, you were almost convinced that was all that Jumin knew about expressing love and care, by giving the other person a gift or other forms of compensation. It explained his treatment of Jaehee and his other employees, anyway.  

And to you, the one who had opened up his heart and was the object of his affection, one or two simple gifts just weren’t enough to express how much you meant to him.

And no one could spoil his new wife quite like Jumin Han could, you were coming to find out. The sheer amount of presents he had gotten for you, including when you had just met the guy in person merely a day before, was enough to last you almost a lifetime, and you both had only been married barely a whole month.

That’s where you two were now, still living in his penthouse until your new house was finished and Jumin was giving you your first pair of heels. And not just any kind of heels. Expensive, of course, along with a modestly impressive heel. There wasn’t anything really frightening about them, they were beautiful, of course. 

You just never worn shoes with that much of a heel before, so you were a little anxious.

It didn’t help that you had been the one to ask for this, too. A particularly embarrassing photo shoot had both of you in a sour mood that day, when your height difference was brought to attention. 

Yes, you have quite the tall husband, and you loved him dearly, but you were just a few inches shorter than his Head Assistant, Jaehee, meaning he towered over you.

It had never bothered you before, but that day had been particularly sour and the ride home had been silent. Not quiet, but silent, neither of you feeling talkative.

Maybe it was your sour mood, maybe it was the long day where practically nothing went right, but you let it slip about wanting to learn how to walk in heels. 

This was also really your first time really asking something of him, not him thinking of something for you, but you literally asking something from him. You could have sworn you saw a spark fly through his eyes, something that usually only happened when he had a new idea for a cat-related project.

Thus you are brought back to the situation at hand, with Jumin presenting you a lovely pair of black heels. You swallowed just looking at them.

“It’s a little taller than what I’ve seen on the women at work, but not as outrageous as the ones I’ve seen my father’s girlfriends’ wear.” He explained as he sat you down on the edge of the bed, kneeling in front of you. “If it’s too much for you, I can find something with a shorter heel. The salesperson even recommended something called ‘kitten heels’ if this is too much.” He was smiling gently, as he tended to do when he was thinking about you or Elizabeth the Third.

“I had never thought of the idea of putting shoes on cats before, let alone kittens, but…”

You knew that was your cue to stop him from going any further. You could feel Jaehee screaming in agony from here. 

“I-I don’t they’d like that too much. You’ve seen how Elizabeth gets when she gets something on her paws she doesn’t like…”

He hums softly, carefully examining your raised foot with his long fingers, gingerly handling it as if he was examining delicate jewelry. 

“Maybe not on the front paws. Humans don’t wear shoes on their hands, after all.”

You could hear Jaehee screaming bloody murder now.

With one hand supporting your calf, his other hand worked on putting the heel on you, making sure it fit properly.

“Don’t they use their back paws to help in climbing? Putting on shoes would be as good as taking away their claws.”

He hummed in thought again, satisfied with his job on your foot. He was soon repeating the process on your other foot.

[raat-jaaga-paakhi]

(D)Evolution of Rukmini-Harana

This I wrote while brainstorming in the beginning of this month to centre my brain on what we know of Rukmini, so I could write her with (dis)regard to the texts. And what I found out in my Ruk-foray, was simultaneously intriguing and repelling. Tagging my Mahabharata people, if you want to go on Rukmini’s journey through the scriptures and the later kavyas (ancient fanfiction, guys) and don’t mind my snarky commentary in between as I try to be as analytical as possible (Warning: Strong Opinions and Wtf Moments!) – @avani008 @parlegee @incurablescribbler @shaonharryandpannisim @ambitiousandcunning​ @glyphenthusiast​ @mayavanavihariniharini @allegoriesinmediasres @walburgablack​ @jigyask​ @heyifinallyhaveablog @1nsaankahanhai-bkr from the top of my head. Under the cut, for this is detailed. 

Mahabharata

Rukmini-Haran legend is outlined in several places: that Sabha scene we all seem to love unanimously, Krishna-Draupadi in exile, Arjuna describing Krishna’s feats, and in Udyoga parva when Rukmi comes to help in the war. Other times, she is mentioned as mother of Pradyumna (in fact, Pradyumna’s name is mostly replaced by “son of Rukmini”). Only details being: Rukmini was meant to be Shishupala’s, Krishna came, abducted her, fought off Rukmi who had taken an oath to not return without killing him, Rukmi builds Bhojakata due to his defeat. Rukmi is mentioned a few times to have learned battlecraft from a kimpurusha Druma (whose name is often written as Drona, eliciting confusion between Dronacharya of Hastinapur), from whom he gets Indra’s bow which is said to be equal to Gandiva and Sharnga.

- BORI CE Mbh, Translated by B. Debroy.

He comes with an akshauini to Pandavas’ camp where he is welcomed warmly enough, until he opens his big mouth and says, “Dudes, if you all are afraid of the Kauravas, I can help!” Insert big, smug smile. Krishna is present, but silent. Arjuna speaks, reminding Rukmi that he sought no help from anyone at multiple times (he goes harcore here *grins*), and wouldn’t need the same now, esp. from one like him. Disappointed Rukmi goes to Duryodhana’s camp where he’s rejected for, er, being the Pandavas’ reject and for his big mouth. Yeah. He, like Balarama, remains neutral. (Interesting that it’s Balarama who kills him, later.)

- BORI CE Mbh, Trans. By B. Debroy

There is no letter, no mention of a swayamvara, no love, nothing, sticking to Mahabharata’s rather dry style, which if stripped of its mystical elements would be a cold, clean historical narrative.

Apology: I am not giving any more screenshots (except for Bhaagavat, because it has some rather nice parts), for this would become…far too long to handle for even me. I promise you can take my word for it. 

Harivamsa

Considered an “appendix” (khila) to Mahabharata, it contains the legend of Rukmini in the greatest of details. @parlegee​ would love to hear that her fic kalyanakirti, where Rukmini and Krishna have an early meeting before the letter and all, does have some solid basis. The legend in narrated in two separate parts: swayamvara and harana. Sadly, the first part doesn’t get into the BORI CE Harivamsa, but that is made understandable by Dr. Bibek Debroy, who comments the Harivamsa editing is indiscriminate and lacking in quality w.r.t. cutting down events, as compared to the precise and thoughtful editing of Mahabharata proper, at the very beginning of his translation. Thus, the omission, I guess. I am giving a rundown for this is what we will refer back to as we compare the later versions. (For reference, go to Mahabharata Resources online.) 

Swayamvara part – 

Rukmi arranges for Rukmini’s swayamvara, calling his boys and excluding Krishna (ofc), of which Krishna gets wind and arrives in class with Garuda. He is welcomed—notedly not by the king, as opposed to rules of hospitality—by his relative/father Kaisika, outside of the capital of Vidarbh in Kaisika’s own city.

Quite strangely, Kaisika and his brother Kratha offer Krishna their city; there is even some messenger fanfare with Indra.

Comment: This seems like something of an interpolation to me (it’s politically and intellectually stupid okay – why would krishna need to abduct rukmini with such pains if a part of vidarbha was already his. he could have been more politically subtle and all. it’s just horrible statesmanship­), and part of the avatar-vaad or “make Krishna a god so that we can cloak his philosophies and ideas with the veil of god’s incomprehensible lilas so that no one can hope to emulate him and his decidedly non-brahmanical approach, and so they wait for his next appearance while the world burns” propaganda. Shut up, Medha, you’re going to be killed for this. Nah, brain, I will speak my truth.

Meanwhile, Jarasandha and his cronies come to know of Krishna’s arrival, get “afraid” and there is this huge-ass, strange, contradictory conversation. Jarasandha and Sunitha (read: shishupala. yeah, boi had this other, nicer name) are primarily of the view that Krishna is gonna fight them, while Dantavakra (hm, isn’t he another of krishna’s cousins?) opposes that. Shalva and the others also expressed their ideas. The exact point of this conversation is highly inscrutable because, (not) strangely, the conversation is shrouded by them praising and glorifying their arch-enemy as the “lord of the universe” and what-not. (wut? why do you all constantly fight him if you know “who he truly is” and so on? are you masochists, guys – i am seriously concerned. your opponent is apparently vishnu yet you go on fighting him knowing you’re gonna be defeated. what’s the point? medha, stfu) I mean, a professional, grudging admiration for a fellow warrior is fine, good even, but what’s this BS?

The next part is even more laughable, which I didn’t think was possible. They hear of Krishna’s “coronation” and except Rukmi, everyone attends it, even Jarasandha. Huh? Jarasandha who laughed in Krishna’s face in Mbh, called him a coward cowherd (love alliteration) outright so many times in both Mbh and HV . . . I don’t understand any of this. Is it fear for the one person you cannot seem to properly defeat? Are you trying to keep peace, because that’s ridiculous when you have gone on offence so many times. Is it that you are “honoured” to be part of such an important moment in your arch-enemy, who also happens to be “Vishnu’s poorna avatar”?

Then comes a truly interesting part – Bhishmaka and Krishna have a talk. Bhishmaka thinks it’s better to offer Rukmini to Krishna outright and that swayamvara is a stupid thing – whether it is this particular one Rukmi has arranged, or swayamvaras in general, is kinda unclear. For the sake of Bhishmaka, I will go with the first. He apologises to Krishna for not inviting him to the swaymvara for he is helpless against his ignorant son (I guess the ignorance relates to “the true form of Lord Krishna” here) and…hm, this is both exciting and…controversial? Krishna rebukes Bhishmaka quite strongly about letting Rukmi treat him as a doormat and what-not and I would be heart-eyes for he’s technically defending Rukmini in some weird, chauvinistic manner, but . . . is he? His tone is rather peculiar, if you read it. He ends his little tirade with saying that Rukmini is Lakshmi reborn and as such, meant only for him, and technically demands to dismiss the swayamvara. And then, he just…leaves with Garuda. Form your headcanons, guys. This is just too weird.

Bhishmaka is sweet-and-obedient little devotee now and does as he is told. Interestingly, this is before the formation of Dwaraka, for it is here, after the Rukmini’s swayamvara is postponed that Jarasandh and his cronies hatch the plot to use the foreigner Kalyavana to kill Krishna. (just now you attended the boy’s coronation ceremony, usually attended by allies and friends, and praised him as lord of all…make up your minds, guys)

Also, it is here that Rukmini makes up her mind to marry Krishna. Hm, a little meeting, particularly the one you wrote, Maya Di, is extremely likely!

Harana part –

After Kalyavana’s death, Jarasandha’s failure and Dwaraka’s formation, Jarasandha decides to have Rukmini married to Shishupala, just like that. Here is also said that Rukmi had gained celestial weaponry and the Brahmastra (woah!) from Druma and Parasurama respectively. Hm, looks like he was quite the excellent warrior. It isn’t specified if Parashurama only gave him the celestial weapons or taught him as well like he did with Karna – both are different things. But hey, why do people keep going to Parasurama specifically for Brahmastra? I feel bad for the big guy. [Also, here comes this strange issue, Parasurama is, by Karna’s words as well as popular perception, supposed to not hold any sort of guru-ness towards Kshatriyas, which is why the latter had to lie in order to learn from him, considering Suta is an inferior division of the main Kshatriya varna. But that’s topic for another day, Medha.]

Okay, so it is mentioned that Rukmini and Krishna both longed for Krishna, and though there’s no dialogue, it appears that Rukmi knew of this, for the text goes on to say why Rukmi won’t accept this marriage – his enmity with Krishna due to the latter killing his friend Kamsa who also happened to be son-in-law of beloved Jarasandha etc. The text says that with Jarasandha and Shishupala, also came the allied kings Dantavakra, Paundraka, and the kings of Anga and Vanga. [This…is markedly curious. Surely by this time in the epic, Karna was crowned Angaraja? For it not to be so, Krishna would have to be much, much older than the Pandavas, chronologically speaking, which is the headcanon of a popular modern writer Ashok K. Banker. But Yudhisthir and Bhima are considered Krishna’s elders many times in Mbh. There is also this strange friend/frenemy-ship between Karna and Jarasandha as they have a kind of stalemate in a fight and Jarasandha, pleased, offers Karna a city in Anga, Malinipuri, if I remember right. Does it mean that not all of Anga was under Hastinapur’s influence? Again, Medha, to dissect another day.]

Now, “to please their aunt” (Shishupala’s mother Shrutashrava), Krishna comes with Balarama and other Vrishni heroes, all welcomed by Kaisika and Kratha. Upon seeing Rukmini in her journey to pay obeisances to Goddess Indrani, Krishna, er, cannot control himself and decides to abduct her, in consultation with Balarama and others. To note that (i) even though the text expresses both their desires to be with each other, it seems like an impromptu decision to abduct Rukmini, almost as if in lust (at least, that’s what the text makes it sound like); (ii) there’s none of that “coming alone in a hurry after getting her letter” event, as per Harivamsa. He comes quite prepared, and even consults with the other Kshatriyas before going for it.

You know the drill now: Krishna abducts Rukmini as she finishes her prayers and Balarama defeats all the guards. Krishna then puts the responsibility of the war on Yadava heroes like Balarama, Satyaki, Kritavarma, Gada, Prasena (is this that same Prasena of Syamantaka incident?) etc. and sets out for Dwaraka with Rukmini. At all this, Jarasandha and his cronies Shishupala, Dantavaktra, Paundraka, kings of Anga (again!), Vanga, Kalinga and others decide to kill Krishna in a joint attack. There are small descriptions of these following duels – Satyaki vs Jarasandha, Akrura vs Dantavakra, Viprthu vs Shishupala. Shishupala, after being attacked by Atidanta, Gavesana and Brhaddurga (who are these people, gosh) kills Virpthu’s horses and beheads Brhaddurga. Balarama kills the king of Vanga and then attacks Jarasandha. All this results in the defeat of Jarasandha and his cronies.

Hearing this, Rukmi vows before Bhishmaka and if he can’t kill Krishna and bring Rukmini back, he won’t return to the capital Kundina. Note that the next part of his vow, bringing Rukmini back, isn’t mentioned in Mbh proper. He leaves, accompanied by Kratha (that devoted guy?), Amsuman, Srutarva, Venudari and Bhishmaka’s other unnamed sons.

Rukmi sees Krishna-Rukmini standing on the banks of Narmada (aw, what are these two love-birds doing on a riverbank, that’s so romantic… Medha, stop). [Also, as I argued with someone on Quora, had it been a forcible abduction, without Rukmini’s consent in any way whatsoever, considering the letter is not in HV, they wouldn’t be standing there on a riverbank, resting and doing hell-knows-what. It’s a logical fallacy, sorry.]  

Seeing them together, he gets even more pissed and wants to kill Krishna in a dwairatha (dual chariot) fight. Cool stuff. Both archers fight. Krishna kills his charioteer and cuts off his chariot-banner. [What’s the thing with this? Why even bother? If you are making a statement then stop, we know who’s gonna win. Even if you didn’t win the fight, the texts would still claim you the winner. Medha, stop, you are supposed to love the man. Yes, the man, not the god men have created as a horrible substitute for the real thing. Why am I saying this now? This is a very normal archery feat if we see Mahabharata’s war parvas.] He defeats all the Vidarbhan warriors and kills many. Rukmi is not a doormat. He retaliates, cutting off Krishna’s banner as well (the garuda one! wow, boi), hurts both Krishna and his charioteer with his arrows. [Aw, and people say Arjuna only won his duels because of Krishna being his charioteer. Dude, look at this. I mean, these people straight out claim him to be God Incarnate and yet, they can’t completely smoothly modify a fight scene to suit their purposes – how sweet. Stfu, Medha.] Krishna then cuts Rukmi’s bow. [The Vijaya one? Surely Rukmi is not fighting such a serious fight without it. If so, wow. You just cut Indra’s prized bow – you really have a strong issue with the guy, don’t ya? Yeah, I feel you.]

Rukmi picks up another (here’s to perseverance), which Krishna again cuts off and crushes Rukmi’s chariot. Now Rukmi rushes at Krishna with a sword (gotta give, guy’s relentless) which Krishna cuts off and uses a sharp weapon called naracha on him which hurts him enough to render him senseless. The remaining soldiers run away. Rukmini’s pity aroused, she pleads for Krishna to spare her brother. Krishna lifts her up and reasures her (awww *waves shipping flag, completely ignoring the falling at his feet part*), then assures poor Rukmi of his safety (who seems to have woken up from his swoon by now, poor boy must have been so tired…why am I feeling so bad for Rukmi? I hate the guy! Btw, I can so imagine Krishna being cheeky here). He returns to Dwaraka with Rukmini, accompanied by Balarama and other Yadavas and his wedding his celebrated there.

There are no later versions of the legend in other texts that tally with the first part (swayamvara) seen in Harivamsa. There’s no love letter, no shaving hair-and-moustache. Let me tell you guys here only, for I don’t want to repeat this, there is no Madhavpur Ghed in the texts I have encountered (and they’re quite a bunch, as you’ll see).

Note: The evolution or composition of Mahabharata and Harivamsa are considered by old and modern scholars alike to have gone parallely, so the insertions of Rukmi’s details, his guru Druma, his bow Vijaya, etc. which seem to exactly match Harivamsa, may have been addded after that part of Harivamsa was written.

Vishnu Purana (about 300 BC-450 CE)

Rukmini-harana is narrated very shortly here, whereas in Harivamsa, it takes up a few chapters, being one of the most prominent parts of the text, as compared to Krishna’s marriage to his other wives. The entire swayamvara part, from Krishna’s “coronation” to the postponement of the swayamvara is missing here. From the harana part as well, Rukmi and his celestial weaponry, worship of Indrani, consultation with Balarama and other Yadavas before abduction, seeing Rukmini-Krishna along Narmada, details of the fights, aren’t present. Again, no love letter (though, even this extremely short version of a few mere verses speaks of Krishna and Rukmini’s mutual love), no shaving. However, it doesn’t deviate from the “original” in Harivamsa as well; it only clips away the details as if deeming them unnecesary in the larger context.

Matsya Purana (about 200-500 CE) mentions her among the Ashtabharya, here listed as – Rukmini, Satyabhama, Satya, Nagnajiti, Gandhari, Subhima, Shaivya, Lakshmana. [argh, we’ll talk about this later. just know for one that this is clearly not a very…right list, and not only in popular perception. jambavati isn’t mentioned; satya, nagnajiti, gandhari and lakshmana are having an identity crisis amongst themselves. basically, the text(s) is (are) only sure about rukmini and satyabhama. pardonable, for they happen to be krishna’s most famous wives. i feel so bad.]

Bhaagavat Purana (about 500-1000 CE)

Oh, yeah, this one is interesting. Unlike Vishnu Purana, Bhaagavat is all about the details. (reminds me of amitabh sir in badla every time i say this word.) There are omissions as well, for Rukmi and his celestial weaponry, Bhishmaka’s lineage, etc. are not mentioned. Let me go by points of difference only, since the main story has been explained in Harivamsa.

We get to hear the names of Rukmi’s younger brothers, only mentioned in HV – Rukmaratha, Rukmavahu, Rukmakesa, Rukmamali. We come to know Rukmini heard of Krishna from bards and decided he would be her perfect match. (Despite Bhaagavat’s devotional fervour that distracts from the main events, I love its version so much better in so many places.) Similarly, hearing of Rukmini’s knowledge and beauty, our boy pines for her. The relatives shipped Rukmini/Krishna as well, but only Rukmi seems to be against it, who arranges her marriage to Shishu. Learning of this, Rukmini sends a faithful old brahmin to Dwaraka with her message, who is received respectfully by Krishna. In her message, she…well, makes me fangirl. Interspersed between what seems to be fanatically devotional love for her “lord”, Rukmini calmly devises a straight and firm plan for him to follow, from the going to the temple of Girija (not Indrani, here) and the Rakshasa vivaha, telling him “not to worry” and all, and also adds a little…threat, in the end, that if he doesn’t do so, she will give up her life by fasting. Neat.

- Srimad Bhaagavat Purana

Krishna, “in love and excitement”, says that he too has been spending sleepless nights pining for Rukmini. Aw.

- Srimad Bhaagavat Purana

Added this to say, here’s the implicit metaphor of Jarasandha and his cronies being the kindling and Rukmini the diew generated by churning them. (Why am I thinking of Samudra-manthan?)

Here, Krishna doesn’t bring Balarama or any other Yadava hero with him, straight going to Kundina on his chariot with his charioteer Daruka and the brahmin, and apparently reaches within one night (which is realistically impossible, except if he had something like Pushpaka, which is not so here). There’s lot of description of pre-wedding things, where the only thing striking me is the phrase “Rukmini with fine teeth”. (I can just imagine her baring her teeth at Rukmi’s back, uff.) As Shishu sets out from Chedi with Jarasandha and his cronies who have developed a “stratagem” to kill Krishna, Balarama comes to know of the plot and sets out after Krishna with the Yadava heroes, moved by his affection for his bro. Exasperated elder brother, here he is.

A despairing Rukmini is informed by the brahmin of Krishna’s arrival in Kundina, she thanks him. Bhishmaka comes to know of Krishna and Balarama’s arrival, whereas in Harivamsa, it was Kaisika who welcomed them. There’s also this huge gathering of Vidarbhans to see Krishna and they decide that only he is fit for their princess. That’s so sweet. After worshipping Goddes Ambika/Girija, asking for Krishna to be her husband, Rukmini returns very slowly from the temple, her beauty so bewitching that a few kings “fall down from their horses, elephants, chariots”. Omfg! Lol. Krishna abducts her in presence of all those kings, who rebuke themselves and shower arrows upon Krishna, seeing which Rukmini laments in fear. Krishna consoles her, the Yadavas march against the kings; Jarasandha, Shishu and their friends have to flee to save their lives. No details are given, as compared to HV. Here, is a very interesting segment, where Shishu laments about having “lost” Rukmini and Jarasandha consoles him in a strangely fatalistic manner:

- Srimad Bhaagavat Purana

Comment: Jara actually doesn’t sound insane or just fatalistic here, imo. He sounds...manipulative af. Don’t think that was the intent of the writers (more likely it was just to forwards the idea of fate and futility as opposed to true action), but that’s what it sounds like to me. Worthy opponent for Krishna, if you ask me.

Now, there’s that drill with Rukmi and his vow, except here, he’s said to have taken an akshauhini of men. When he sees Krishna-Rukmini (no Narmada river here), he verbally insults Krishna unlike prev. versions and then attacks him.

- Srimad Bhaagavat Purana

(Even the abuse here is mild, compared to Mahabharata. I mean, think of the dice game, the Shishupala-vadha parva and so on! But still, Bhaagavat retains class, even as it propounds avatar-vaad, fatalism and fervent devotion.)

The description of battle here is more intense and long-drawn (compared to the main Yadava battle fought against Jarasandha and his cronies), with Krishna cutting down Rukmi’s banner, and then breaking three of his bows. Rukmi uses various kinds of weapons on Krishna – Parigha, Pattisa, Tomara, Camra, Shula, Asi, Shakti, etc. but Krishna remains steadfast in his defence. Rukmi then picks up a sword and rushes at Krishna; there’s no mention of Krishna having killed his charioteer and crushed his chariot. Krishna descends to thebsword-fight and brandishing his own, breaks Rukmi’s sword too. Now you know the drill, falling at his feet and all, our Rukmini. (Don’t roll your eyes, Medha.) Now...it’s in Bhaagavat we see the disfiguring first, Krishna deciding to give him some sort of light punishment, shaving off his moustache, beard and hair unevenly.

There’s another alteration here, that Balarama comes to see this and rebukes Krishna for humiliating a relative. Rukmini is apparently inconsolable and he offers Rukmini a patronising (if sensible philosophically in many places) discourse, starting with a more political note of “the conduct of Kshatriyas is hard and merciless where brother kills brother” and continuing with a lengthy philosophical lecture of the body and the soul, as in in tune with Mahabharata’s Gita, to a marginal extent. Rukmini attempts to calm down, and they return to Dwaraka. The marriage is well-described, with the addition of kings with intimate relations invited – from Kuru, Srinjaya, Kekeya, Kunti races and Vidarbh as well! Hm. Interesting. As is the inconsolable Rukmini, described earlier, which finds no mention in earlier (or a few later versions). Is it so hard to imagine a “difficult woman”, in Nikita Gill’s terms? Does she have to be a wilting flower, even though it breaks off from her prev. characterisation? I mean, she can sure be miffed at it, but for her to be so disconsolate that Balarama out of all people has to offer a huge-ass philosophical advice. Sigh. Basically, Bhaagavat more or less presents it attractively by way of supplying more materials to the story (the greatest and most landmark being Rukmini’s letter), even while it ignores some other details (like Narmada).

Brahmanda Purana (about 400-600 CE) doesn’t delineate the main legend, but Rukmini, the princess of Vidarbha, is mentioned as Krishna’s principal wife, along with the names of their sons and daughter.

Padma Purana (about 400-1600 CE)

Points of difference:

Brothers’ names apart from Rukmi not mentioned.

To fulfil her desire to marry her “lord”, Rukmini worships the gods from childhood itself and keeps sacred vows. Hm, yeah, go ahead.

Here, her brahmin is called the son of a purohita who is received by both Krishna and Balarama. Rukmini’s words in her message are not there anymore (a format which will be followed by every later version except the kavyas) as opposed to the beautiful plan in Bhaagavat and, they both set out for Kundina. No army of Yadava heroes accompany them.

Rukmini goes to the temple by her chariot rather than by foot, at evening, none of which is mentioned in prev. versions. After the abduction, it is Balarama who singlehandedly routs all the kings headed by Jarasandha, using his plough (Langala) and Musala (…the same weapon they use in the fratricidal war of Mausala parva, incidently; so it has some other source than that “curse” where Samva delivers this “new weapon” called musala).

There’s no mention of Rukmi’s vow.

When Rukmi attacks Krishna, he laughs and defends himself with his bow Saranga, a bow presented by Indra. Keeping with both HV and Bhaagavat, dear Krishna obligingly cuts of Rukmi’s bow, his banner, his charioteer’s head and crushes the chariot. There’s Rukmi with his sword, and Krishna with a sharp knife.

Interestingly, there’s no objection or plea or falling at his feet from Rukmini, but Krishna still doesn’t kill him, letting him go by his own free will. That doesn’t stop him from laughing and shaving the hair on his head, though. The beard and moustache are forgiven.

Despite not having taken the vow, apparently the humiliation is enough for Rukmi to built Bhojkata in Vidarbh outside of Kundina, keeping with all prev. versions.

No Madhavpur again. What’s interesting here, is that Nanda and Yashoda and other cowherds are present in the wedding in Dwaraka, unlike popular perception which says Krishna never met his adoptive parents after having left Vrindavana.

Skanda Purana (about 600-1200 CE)

It is narrated to Yudhisthir by Markandeya about the significance of some Rukmini teertha. Points of difference:

Rukmini’s mother is mentioned to be “Mahadevi”. This could also be a title, since queens were also addressed thus. Rukmini is said to be her second child, younger to Rukmi and elder to the other brothers, whose names aren’t mentioned.

At her birth, there is this prophecy about her marriage to this four-armed divine person by a bodiless voice, kinda like Kamsa’s akashvani. Sure, go on. Marry her to Krishna right as she’s born, why don’t you? It’s destiny after all. Can I add that the previous love affair between Rukmini and Krishna is also not mentioned. 

Damaghosha, king of Chedi and Shishupala’s father goes to Bhishmaka with a marriage proposal, more in accordance with a marriage as we see it now as compared to the prev. versions (where Jarasandha and Rukmi are instrumental), as also the prevalent nature of marriage of those days w.r.t. Mahabharata.

These two develop attraction to each other just prior to the abduction, in the vein of Harivamsa, but Harivamsa does speak of mutual pining long before the abduction. 

The brahmin messenger, the role or even the name of Jarasandha, Rukmi’s fierce vow – nothing finds mention.

Unlike prev. versions, Krishna and Balarama are invited by Bhishmaka to Rukmini’s marriage. No other Yadava hero is mentioned to have accompanied, similar to Padma Purana.

It brings back the river Narmada, where Rukmini and Krishna were resting and Rukmi stumbled upon them, which is only found farther back in Harivamsa.

Now, the battle with Rukmi gets interesting here. There is no archery or even swordfight; rather, Krishna takes his chakra to battle. Fearful, Rukmini asks Krishna to bless her brother with the “divine eye”. Krishna obeys, “pleased” by Rukmini. Rukmi’s ignorance taken away, he offers auspicious prayers to Krishna, who, pleased at the brother this time, blesses him and speaks “blissful words”. Rukmi happily goes back to Kundina. No Bhojkata, no insult, no killing or fighting.

Even the marriage isn’t celebrated in Dwaraka, but on the very banks of Narmada, in the presence of pious sages and other brahmins.

A long explanation of the significance of Rukmini tirtha is given in details, which we don’t find in prev. versions and which I have no energy to go over, for it isn’t significant to either the topic, or even Rukmini in general.

In a nutshell, Skanda Purana takes a decided and marked departure from the martial, the political and the more realistic, to the more mystical realms that have surrounded Krishna and his actions. Do we see a pattern here?

Brahmavaivarta Purana (about 700-1500 CE)

God, I hate this one so much. In a nutshell, guys, it goes several steps ahead of Skanda Purana and goes for a classic social marriage, as is prevalent nowadays. There’s no abduction, no Shishupala, no love, no resistance from Rukmi, no agency from either the bride or the groom. Nothing.

[Instead of Rukmini-harana, or even Rukmini-swayamvara, the headings become “Rukmini Udvaah Prastaav varnan” (description of proposal of Rukmini’s marriage) and then, “Rukmini Vivaahe Yuddham” (fight in Rukmini’s marriage). Credit where credit’s due, I learnt from an online friend about the Sanskrit titles.]

No message is sent by Rukmini, but a brahmin messenger does go with a proposal of marriage. He is sent by Bhishmaka instead of Rukmini. What’s more, the letter was addressed to Ugrasena, and it’s not Krishna, or even Balarama, who receives the proposal. It is Ugrasena, stepping into the limelight where before he had no role to play except that of a figurehead and a tortured father as per the texts.

In Kundina (described in detail for the first time, with the classic mahajanapada-style ditch around it), Krishna and Rukmini have a nice social marriage, presided over by all the elders and kings, with Bhishma, Drona, Duryodhana etc. and the Pandavas in attendance. Again, no mention of Jarasandha, but there’s a fight between Balarama and Shishupala, Dantavakra, Rukmi and Shalva, ending in a sorta mysterious, inconclusive defeat.

How interesting is it, that Brahmavaivarta is a text dedicated to, er, Radha-Krishna, an idea that didn’t exist until the Bhakti movement. So they just decide that no, such a daredevil mariage between lovers won’t do. It has to be society forcing these two together (rather than apart, as we see in Mahabharata et al), because it is Radha and Krishna whose relationship is against society, the rebellion of rebellions in the name of true love nd devotion, blah-blah. Forgive my tone, please, but I am pissed off, ‘kay?

The concerted effort to make everything in Krishna’s life, except Radha (oh, because they are the Supreme in Goloka, which is even above Kailasa and Vaikuntha, and nothing can separate them and all), socially acceptable because he’s their “God” who can do no wrong except if in “true love for Radha” (when the dude clearly rebelled against society any chance he got) is ridiculous. Esp. this! Damn, don’t make my girl into this insignificant little thing. Harivamsa and Vishnu Purana were silent about Rukmini’s letter too, but at least both mentioned clear attraction and interest between Krishna-Rukmini.

Digressing: Also, why is Krishna such a sap here, suddenly? Or why does the Radha-Krishna pairing (which originally symbolises the Jeevatma-Paramatma or devotee-god relationship,) need Krishna to chase her ceaselessly and for all his actions to lead up to her, despite him advocating being a man of action in the real world? I am sorry for being so vocal; it’s probably just my pent-up frustration from that horrible Radha-Krishna serial where this Krishna (gosh, I can’t even call him that!) finds a reason to cry every single time. I would have forgiven it had they cut off the Vishnu’s avatar perspective and kept only the lover boy part, but they keep it and they still make him a crybaby. What’s worse…at the times he should actually feel bad, he’s “calm” af, looking as if he has transcended every human emotion, and just patronises people. Such hypocrisy. Look, I have nothing against men who cry; in fact, it’s heartening to have men strong enough to embrace their emotions, esp. publicly; similarly, there is nothing wrong with suppressing them (apart from the mental health issues it generates, but we are no one to judge). But people, when you are making an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient character…keep the BS consistent at least?! (Sorry, civility.) 

Agni Purana (about 800-1100 CE) only mentions Rukmini as one of the eight principal wives.

[Devi-Bhaagavata Purana gives a brief outline sticking to what’s known. It says that in Rukmini’s swayamvara, Shishupala is specifically invited (this is the popular notion, and what I personally believed too, and still find myself going for). Krishna, with Ugrasena’s permission (not mentioned in prev. versions; as opposed to consulting with his fellow warriors in HV), takes Rukmini in Rakshasa vivaha. It also mentions that he later married Jambavati, Satya, Mitravinda, Kalindi, Nagnajiti, Bhadra, Lakshmana. (Satyabhama is not present. She seems to have been confused with Satya, whose other name is Nagnajiti, princess of Kosala.)

Kalki Purana goes for this elaborate Rukmini vrata which grants desired husband to a lady as a fruit of the vrata, where Rukmini is accorded deity status alongside Krishna, seemingly for the first time (not considering the temples dedicated to both). A woman named Sharmistha (strangely similar to Sharmistha of Yayati, Puru’s mother, who too hankered after Yayati) offers oblations to Rukmini-Krishna, saying a prayer: “O Lord, offerer of boons, accept the camphor, molasses and sandalwood with your beloved Rukmini, princess of Vidarbha. O lotus-eyed one, possesor of pitambara and four arms, supreme of gods. Please be satisfied with me and protect me with Rukmini.” It’s far longer, but this is the gist. Is this still Krishna we are speaking of? Huh, all these rituals and Krishna don’t sit well.]

I have only been able to catch hold of so many texts, and of the others, Markandeya Purana (about 250-700 CE) and Shiva Purana (about 1000-1400 CE) do not even mention Rukmini. Mudgala Purana only says Lord Krishna had 16,008 beautiful wives and washes its hands off. 

Note: Mathematician and Vedic shastra writer Baudhayana cites Rukmini/Krishna as an example of Rakshasa vivaha.

Sanskrit Literature

So after the Puranas kinda close off the (d)evolution with turning such interesting stuff to the dry social marriage w.r.t. to the parallel evolution of Radha-Krishna, where the concept of Krishna shifted completely from a socio-political persona with mild godlike touch to become a complete love god (as also the lord of the universe)… Rukmini rises again in later literature, of what, by modern standards, would be ancient fanfiction. Lol. There are loads of poetic descriptions (think Kalidasa) that embellishes the narrative – for example, the beauty of sunrise described for paragraphs onto paragraphs. (Yeah, I skimmed those. I was too interested in some Rukmini action. Will appreciate the poetry later.)

References are made to the Rukmini-haran incident in Shishupala-vadham by Magha in around 600 CE, in the 2nd canto, where Balarama, Krishna and Uddhava are in conversation, planning to kill Shishupala. (I hate this.) The entire canto is full of controversial speeches. Balarama refers to Krishna abducting Rukmini from her swayamvara and defeating Shishupala as being the latter’s prime reason for animosity, saying things like “women are the root of all enmity”.

It is referred to in Bhavabhuti’s Malati-Madhav as well, a love story between Malati and Madhav (son of a Vidarbhan minister), where in a convo between friends, a lady says something like “Purushottama Krishna accepted Rukmini, the mother of Kandarpa (Pradyumna being considered Kama’s rebirth), at her self-choice (swayamvara) ceremony”.

There is Bhagavata-Champu (don’t laugh) by Ananta Bhatta before 1500 AD and Sri-Gopala-Champu by Jiva Goswami. Both show their retellings to be derived from Bhaagavata purana (I’m so glad). In fact, in some places, like Rukmini’s letter and Balarama’s consolatory speech after Rukmi’s humiliation, the lines (as per the translated hardcopy in my home) seem to have been picked up directly from Bhaagavata. So it must be that the original Sanskrit lines were as well. The only thing that differs in Sri-Gopala-Champu is the premise of the story. Two messengers from Krishna tell the story to Nanda, Rukmini’s attributes coming up in the conversation. Radha and her fellow Gopis are mentioned as being present and eulogised. (Can no one let my girl have a moment?) But I love these few lines from the convo. The listeners speak thus (not the exact translation, but I don’t have the book rn):

“Although a girl, she is very intelligent and brave.”

“Is she a girl?” (Omfg, I laughed so much at this)

“No, never. She is a tense female elephant.” (The comparison is aimed to be praising of the confident, slow gait of an elephant in Sanskrit poetry, not in the modern way a woman might be called en elephant. Warriors and great women hav often been compared to elephants. There also seems to be an oxymoron as she is described as being tense or edgy, perhaps an allusion to being cautious…Hm, the spy headcanon, @avani008​ and @allegoriesinmediasres​? *grins excitedly* Oh, we’ll take anything, won’t we?)

“She is fearless, because she is a princess.”

Intelligent, brave, fearless, cautious…oh yeah, all my personal headcanons too.

Other Sanskrit works are as follows, to the best of my knowledge, some gathered from my grandparents and some from friends. I don’t know if their online versions are available, will have to see.

Bhaismi-Parinaya-Champu by prolific poet Ratnakheta Srinivasa Dikshita (South India) around late 16th century. also based on the Bhaagavata version. His son, renowned scholar Rajachuramani Dikshita wrote the Rukmini-Kalyana-Mahakavya (flourished in late 16th and early 17th centuries), possibly one of the most important Sanskrit works on the incident. This one, I unfortunately haven’t read, but have heard about from my late eldest grandfather. Two whole cantos take up Krishna’s mental affliction and pining in a pleasure garden of Dwaraka at the thought of his beloved Rukmini. Aw. Basically, Sanskrit poetry used to be all about elaborate descriptions and comparisons which would veer far, far away from the context, which in these times would be considered redundant and unnecessary. I agree, sort of. I would rather read about political machinations, rather than devotional poetry that distracts us from the issue at hand, thank you very much. Stfu, Medha.

We have Parvati-Rukminiya by astrologer poet Vidya Madhav in late 17th century, which narrates two marriages at a time – Shiva/Parvati and Krishna/Rukmini. Rukmini-Parinaya was written by Ram Varman of Trivancore in the middle 18th century.

Rukmini-Haranam-Mahakavyam, by Kashinatha Sharma Dvivedi, was published first in 1966 AD. (This one, my eldest grandmother straight up read to me, Bengal-ising it while she read. It was arduous, but I was old enough to bear the long hours.) Here, we find a few deviations from Bhaagavat – We find a long description of Rukmini straight up from birth to youth (yikes, that’s what I was attempting to do in my Yugantaram fic). It’s not a lot of characterisation, though – mainly dramatisation, if I remember correctly. (Unfortunately, I don’t know if we have that book any more.) The second canto has a description of Narada, who comes to Bhishmaka’s court bearing Krishna’s tales, which we don’t find in prev. versions, and who appears in the first canto of Magha’s Shishupala-vadham as well. In the third canto, Rukmini, hearing all this, falls in love and is treated by the royal physicians and offered consolation by her friends. (Here’s to one of my best-beloved lines of Hema’s Meerabai, ‘Is love an affliction, that you can cure?’) The next four cantos dramatise and stretch this love-struck Rukmini – with lovely descriptions of the moon, the seasons, the royal garden, etc. The next three cantos describe Rukmini’s marriage being fixed to Shishu by Rukmi, her sending the brahmin messenger to Krishna, a vivid description of Krishna’s beauty (as a young gal, I fell in love with that, yeah, I know, sorry) and an equally beautiful description of the dawn (which may be compared to the description of dawn in Shishupala-vadham by Magha… people are really fond of poeticising political and social issues to hide their significance behind glamour. Medha, stop). In the next canto, Krishna begins his journey to Vidarbha with obeisance to Lord Shiva, which isn’t present anywhere else. It is worth mentioning that the poet also starts his epic poem with salutations to Shiva as well, and states that he composed the entire poem with the grace of Lord Shiva. There’s a lot more descriptions, along with the deviation of Rukmini being guarded on orders of Shishupala rather than those of Rukmi, but the skeleton is all Bhaagavat. Sharma Dvivedi has been inspired heavily by Magha. It stands that his Rukmini-Haranam-Mahakavyam is the most successful rendering of the legend.

It has come to my knowledge that there are other Sanskrit literary works on these two as well but…I just don’t have the energy, sorry. There is a time and place for poetry and devotional fervour. Let me just say, with absolute relish on my side, that it is the Bhaagavat version that is preferred by our predecessors unanimously and all the Sanskrit literature is based on that. Personally, my go-to is Harivamsa and Bhaagavat as well, especially since they have the oldest layers of puranic text. I mean, just imagine, if all later retellings had been based on Brahmavaivarta rather than Bhaagavat. There would be no Rukmini-lovers at all! I mean, the first love does start from the most popular version, after all. It never fails to intrigue me, how legends undergo these modifications, and none of it is a coincidence.

Much love,

Medha

[livlepretre]

TVD Elena New Orleans_What the Water Gave to Me 👀

so annoyed with myself because I typed out a really long response to this and deleted it instead of hitting post SO I am going to have to try to remember what I said 

This is a fic about Elena leaving Mystic Falls and learning to finally deal with her grief and forge a life for herself outside of the Salvatores. It’s pretty much set in a timeline where Elena takes the cure, but Jeremy is never resurrected. 

I have this really strong head canon that if Elena were to take the cure, she would be truly horrified by her former vampirism-- it’s like when you die and become a vampire you cross the veil into death, and the nature of your feelings and how you perceive the world shifts, which makes the existential horror of being a vampire, of being undead, bearable-- but crossing back into life would be incredibly traumatic, because then that would be to live knowing what it is to be dead. To be not human. 

Anyway, I wanted to write this fic both as a love letter to New Orleans and also as a meditation on water as a metaphor for Elena’s grief and her depression and her death wish. Like, there’s this huge part of her that wants to drown, because to be embraced by the water in that way would be to be embraced by her parents. But also thinking about how the water is like coming home, and it’s actually a way to reach out for connection and a way to be less lonely. 

In the fic, she gets an apartment on the riverbend, and works in a bookstore, and maybe she ends up taking some college classes. She heals. 

And there’s a bit of dramatic humor built into the fic because of course Klaus is also in New Orleans, but he never seems to leave the French Quarter, let alone go all the way Uptown, so there’s really no chance of them running into each other... but eventually they do, and it’s very much a fic about facing your ghosts. 

Here’s a line I really like from it: 

At night, she can hear the boats on the water, their horns echoing through the night like a ghostly dirge. 

[freegrain]

I loved your Phosie sleepover fic so much! Could you write about their first date and first kiss? Thank you!!

{Read on AO3} 

Thank you so much for your request. This is only their first date because honestly, I’m not too sure how to write a first kiss between an OT3 yet. I hope you enjoy! 

Hope hated to admit it but she was nervous. Nerves were rare for her. She felt fear, plenty of fear and heartache, but nerves were rare. After what she’d gone through, there was little that could shake her. But… this was a special case. 

It was her first date with Penelope and Josie. 

And Hope was nervous. 

“What am I even going to wear?” she gasped to Landon. “I… casual? But would that mean I’m not trying enough? But is fancy too much? No, casual is better...” 

Landon sat on her bed, watching her frantically pace back and forward. He arched an eyebrow. Hope wouldn’t have normally gone to him for this kind of advice. She would have gone to Lizzie but seeing as it was both Josie and then Penelope that were involved, she decided against it. She was glad they were happy together but also hated hearing her gushiness. 

“Or should I dress up?” 

Hope stood in front of her closet. And stared at her clothes. Why did she have so many? It would be so much easier if she had only two options. Maybe the jacket. Or the dress. Or the blouse with those pants. No, that wouldn't work. What about-

“I think you’re overthinking this.” 

Hope whirled around, ready to protest but it died on her lips. He was right. "I am..." She groaned and sat down next to him. “Ugh, I am freaking out.” 

Landon chuckled. “They like you. You don’t need to worry.” 

“But…” 

“Hope. You are amazing. And both Penelope and Josie can see that. So trust them.” 

Hope wasn’t used to trusting people but in the past year, she’d let people into her life. And so far, they hadn’t let her down. Landon was her friend, she was friends with the twins, Rafael, MG, their friends. It was so strange to have spent her life alone but now not anymore. 

She was honestly surprised that she was dating Josie and Penelope. 

“Hope?” 

Hope nodded. “Okay. Okay. I can do this.” 

Dating wasn’t her forte but she really liked both of her girlfriends. So despite her nerves, she was going to trust that they liked her too. 

Landon smiled. "You got this." 

She appreciated his support through this, especially with their history. But the thing about Landon was, regardless of what happened, he was a good person. And he was her friend. 

Hope did eventually chose the casual outfit. It was still nice and fitted but allowed her to feel more like herself. A good choice. 

"Okay. Wish me luck!" 

Landon chuckled. "You won't need it." 

Hope grinned at him before disappearing through the door. She wasn't entirely sure where they were going because Josie had taken it upon herself to choose. They'd tried to help but she'd refused. Besides, she did like a nice surprise. 

Hope walked down the corridor. Everyone else was either resting or doing their own thing, meaning she was free to wander without anyone noticing. She didn't want teasing right know. 

Hope stuck her hands into her pockets and turned the corner. 

"Oh, well, someone is looking nice~" a voice said from behind her. 

Hope was halfway to the main door and turned to see Penelope standing behind her. Her girlfriend smirked. Hope's mouth dried. 

Penelope had donned a dress that straddled the line between fancy and casual, covered by a light leather jacket. Her hair was curled to the side, revealing the skin of her neck and even a little further. Hope's brain short-circuited. 

"And from your expression, I am looking similar." Penelope strode up to her and offered her arm. "Josie is meeting us in town. Shall we go?" 

Hope stuttered but wrapped her arm in Penelope's. "You-! You look amazing." 

Penelope grinned. "As always. But thank you." 

Wicked confidence wormed its way into Hope's heart. She loved it and hated it at the same time. She could drown herself in her smile. 

Together, they walked out and headed downtown. It was evening time, after class and the sky was darkening over head. A few people passed them. They crossed towards the park. 

"Ah, the sun is setting," Penelope commented. "It looks pretty." 

"Not as pretty as you."

Penelope chuckled but Hope clearly saw the blush that rose to her cheeks. Penelope was quite confident in her ways but even she fell to the charms of flirtation. Hope learned that quickly. She liked making them blush. 

Josie was waiting for them by the bench, checking her phone. Hope's heart swelled a little more. 

"Hey, JoJo," Penelope greeted, moving to kiss her cheek. "You look beautiful." 

She did. 

Josie had gone for a skirt and jacket outfit, looking casual but effortlessly stylish. She was gorgeous, eyes sweet and smiling at her. Hope had never dreamed those eyes would ever look at her like this but they did. 

"Hi." 

Why was she feeling shy again? They'd already established their feelings. Yet Hope felt like they were doing it all over again. 

"Hey, you," Josie beamed as she leaned in for a kiss. "Ready for our date?" 

Hope smiled. "You bet!" 

"Okay, so it took some time but then again, Mystic Falls isn't too big but I did choose a restaurant." Josie slid in next to Penelope and guided them down towards their destination. "It should be nice." 

"I'm sure it will be," Penelope shrugged. "You have excellent taste." A slight smirk. "Especially in women." 

"I agree," Hope piped up. "On both."

Josie rolled her eyes but couldn't help her laughter. "Dorks." 

When they arrived, Josie walked up to the server on the door. "Reservation for Saltzman please." 

The server scanned the page in front of them. "Ah, yes, right this way, please." 

Hope, still linked with Penelope, followed their girlfriend and the server down to their table. She was impressed by the restaurant. 

"Here you are, as requested." 

"Oh!" 

Hope had been wondering all night about how seating arrangements were going to go. As they weren't your ordinary couple, would one person have to sit across from the other two alone? That would be insanely awkward. 

But it appeared Josie had thought ahead. 

Set out for them was a smaller round table, three places set for them. Allowing them to sit together with no division. Hope smiled to herself. 

"Thank you." 

The server nodded and walked away, letting them settle in. 

Hope pulled out a chair for Josie. 

Josie's eyes twinkled and she curtsied. "Oh, thank you, ma'am." 

Hope flushed and smiled. "Anything for you, love." 

"Oh, I am swooning from over here," Penelope commented, one hand under her chin. "You two are so cute." 

Hope too sat down. "Love you too, babe." 

Penelope blew her a kiss. 

Hope had been on dates before but not with two people at the same time. It was a strange experience but also so lovely at the same time.  They were all shy at first, not really knowing what to say or do. But after a few laughs, and playful flirting, Hope began to relax. And it became easy. 

Being with Josie and Penelope was easy. 

Hope reached out to hold Josie's hand, stroking her thumb across her skin. 

"I'm enjoying myself too much," she confessed. 

Josie's face lit up softly. Josie laughed before squeezing her hand back. "Good." 

The food was merely okay but the company made it divine. They enjoyed their meal and then shared desert afterwards. 

At the end of the night, as they were walking outside through the park, Hope didn't want it to end. She loved Josie and Penelope, and she loved being with them. She could have stayed there forever. This night could be forever. 

"Mmhmm, look at the stars," Penelope commented, fingers threading through hers. "They're pretty, aren't they?" 

Above them, glittering like a million tiny gems scattered into a sea of midnight, they shone. Suddenly, a star shot across the sky. A shooting star. They watched in awe before it vanished once again. 

"I love you," Hope murmured. "Both of you."

Who knew it was so easy to make two girls blush at once? 

Josie took her other hand and for that moment, they stood in silence together, staring at the night sky. In the silence, the dark, there was no one but them around. They could be together alone. No one watching them, expecting anything from them. She could be honest. 

"I love you too," Penelope said, as breathless as a whisper. 

Saying I love you on a first date? Very classy. Hope usually wouldn't have dared but she knew deep down it was true. She could say it in the complete truth. 

"Same." Josie flushed. "I mean- I love you as well."

Penelope chuckled and spun around so they were all facing each other. "Very smooth, JoJo." 

"Hey. I'm trying." 

"And I suppose that's what counts." Penelope leaned in and gave her a quick peck. 

Hope grinned. She didn't want this night to end yet and they still had time. Maybe they did have a curfew at the school but what was a few minutes to seconds with them? Each second, each moment, was worth it. 

Hope sighed contently as she stood in the dark  with the two loves of her life. 

[charmingpplincardigans]

z-bot replied to your post “Writing this Crowley fic is going slower than I want it to, because I…”

Well since it was not all that long ago that I started following you I’m only now just discovering what it means to KL as a verb, but so far it’s been a very agreeable learning experience. Also learned who Hildegard von Bingen is. I’M LEARNING A LOT. AND I LOVE IT.

To KL mostly means ‘to be too much with no sign of stopping’. And also, as a consequence ‘to spend every minute of your life feeling like you should apologize for it to everyone you know, but knowing it won’t make a difference either way’. Bless the people who put up with me, tbh. 

HILDEGARD. MY GIRL. I learned about her in some Western Mysticism class in college and have been smitten ever since. She was also A Lot. Like, verifiably. But in a much holier way than I am. 

Anyway, the part of this fic that’s set in 1100 and features both Pierre Abelard and a very young Hildegard von Bingen is THREE THOUSAND WORDS LONG, So uh…I KL’ed that one for sure. I swear this is a Good Omens fic and not just a list of things I find interesting in history. /o\

For anyone who wants to join me in Feeling Too Much, here’s the thing I upset myself with before dinner. (Under a cut, I swear. I apologize if it’s not cut on the app.)

…

“Where are you?” Aziraphale asked. 

Crowley snapped back to the moment he was in. 

Aziraphale was sitting across the table from him in Crowley’s rented rooms. The table was littered with ledgers and empty bottles of wine and the breads and sweets Aziraphale had brought as a small offering. The sun was going down, filling the room with yellowed light and making Aziraphale’s close cut crown of light blond hair and the clean white lines of his chemise–which he had stripped down to because of the heat–glow. 

He looked more like a being of porcelain and light than Crowley had ever seen him look. It was distracting, which was what had started Crowley down his previous train of thought. Well, that and the wine. Part of Aziraphale’s shoulder was showing. Why put apples you don’t want eaten so close to grasping hands indeed. 

Crowley, who had been wearing his hair longer of late, tucked a stray curl of it behind his ear. He shifted in his seat, crossed his legs, let the skirts he was wearing today shift like water and fall into place around his bare feet. Aziraphale was watching him and it made him feel stuck somewhere between wanting to perform and not needing to. 

Aziraphale didn’t care what he looked like. Aziraphale never cared. He only cared that Crowley wasn’t in distress and that Hell was not gaining ground over Heaven. Sometimes he got both. 

“I’m right here,” Crowley said, irritable with the heat and the rote recounting of shared deeds. 

Aziraphale looked him over. His face was folded into a frown of concern and Crowley hated that. He hated that Aziraphale felt protective of him, as if he wasn’t a demon who had survived the Fall and the war and the pit and could take care of himself. Crowley had survived in Hell, he would surely survive Italy and the 16th century. 

He also hated how kind Aziraphale was. He hated how patient the angel would be with him in spite of his mood or his distraction. He hated that there was a traitorous part of him that wanted every part of this, that still felt connected to the God who had cast him out for being who She’d made him, just because one angel sometimes deigned to smile in his direction. And, oh.

Crowley closed his eyes and lowered his head to where it could rest on his arm on the table. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I’m just…very tired this century.” 

“That’s because you spend all of your time out carousing with artists.” Aziraphale sniffed in distaste. 

“Sometimes I carouse with politicians.” 

“My dear,” Aziraphale said, voice soft and curled in at the edges.

There was a whole paragraph in those two words. Crowley hated that he knew that too, except he didn’t. It had been five hundred years since they shook on The Arrangement and in all practical ways, Crowley’s life wasn’t much different than it had been before, except for how it was by virtue of all the extra miracle related doubt and fear he carried with him now. 

There was something growing in the ichor in him. Something new and hot and worthy of protecting. Something the other demons would kill him for, just to crack him open and study it. He felt like at one point, when he had been freshly Fallen and newly broken, he had been sharp and dangerous to be near. Now he wasn’t anymore. He didn’t know whether to blame Aziraphale or himself, or whether it even mattered. 

Was it possible, he wondered, to lose faith twice?

[affectionatespy626]

Title: What Might Have Been

Type: AU Fan-Fic

Origin: Mystic Messenger

Genre: Slice of Life (?), School Life (?)

Words: 1680 (?)

Prompt: School Life

Day 2 Entry for @saeranchoiweek

______________________________

Spring season hails the start of a new school year for the little new student Macy who is about to enter kindergarten and yet her anxiousness is clouding her with fear, causing her to freeze on the spot. Standing before the face of the school gate, her small hand, palm all cold and sweaty, clutched hard at the hem of the ginger lad’s olive green colored shirt, warily glancing around from place to place, trying her best to identify and familiarise the place. The last time she went there was during her enrollment accompanied by her mother. But now, her absence is further paralyzing the child with uncertainty and uneasiness from attending school.

“Saeran-oppa…. I wanna go home.” She could not bear it any longer and finally voiced her concern to her current guardian and company. “....I… don't wanna go inside…” She confesses fearfully as she inches backward, trying to pull him away from the foot of the gate.

“But Macy, your mama would be sad if you didn't go to school, won’t she?” Kneeling on one knee to meet the face of his little friend, his smile a bit awkward and lonesome somehow, Saeran gently patted her head as he spoke. “Look how many possible classmates or friends are now walking through the gates. All smiles and wonder filling their faces. Don't you at least want to experience the same joy and wonder they all are having? Won’t you be happy having friends?”

Yet despite his best intentions to encourage the dear child, her shyness only grew, her head hanging low as she bit her lower lip, tears beading up at the corners of her hazel colored eyes. Seeing her acting as she was worried him, and thus he desperately thought of a way to at least ease her anxious heart.

‘What am I going to do? I’m not sure what I should say next….’ 

Sighing deep inside, he momentarily fell into a thoughtful state before deciding to lift up and cradle the little lady on one arm  while he hoisted her school bag on his other shoulder. Even though he felt self cautious with curious gazs momentarily falling upon the sight of them and his action, his sole focus was to find a way to cheer the disheartened child, making mental notes in finding ways to reassure and cheer her wary little heart.

After informing the teacher in charge of Macy’s class about their small predicament, the young lad was able to get permission on allowing the dear child to skip the day, then promising to properly attend classes when the little lady is fully prepared and finally  finds the courage to face this new page of her life.

Still cradling the little miss with one arm, the lad and the child made their way into a nearby garden park, carrying  two pints of ice cream (with each being their favorite flavors), sitting side by side by the concrete bench painted in wooden colors, and in silence, both began to enjoy their favorite dairy treat. Despite his silence, his mind was cluttered with thoughts of what he should be doing next in order to put a smile onto the little girl’s saddened face. His thoughts ran on and on about several ideas but the one to break the chain of silence was the small voice that weakly called for him.

“Oppa… May I ask something?” Her eyes still looking downward, Macy meekly speaks, her voice laced with worry. “Do you think…. I fit in with them?”

“Hmm?” The lad hummed, his eyes curiously assessing the child’s emotion, and feeling a sense of sadness in her hazel eyes also flicked his heart. He didn’t like seeing anyone sad, especially not this little one. He could often recall how he was back then as a child when he was with her. But unlike her, he did had a mother and a brother at least, despite the heavy misfortune he and his brother had to endure from the moment of their birth.

“Oh.” Then it suddenly hit him. A memory from the past from when he was younger. “You know, what? There was once a time I also had that very same thought.” A bashful smile curved his lips as he began, and urged by his words, the child curiously looks up to face him, her eyes visibly wondering.

“Really?”

“Yup. Back then, I was just starting to learn basic education. You know, reading,writing, maths, sciences, literature, all those kinds of stuff that I wasn’t able to learn when I was little.” Recalling his own past somehow brought back bitter flashbacks, yet he dismissed them immediately because he didn’t wish to worry his company. Thus he tried his best to sound as calm as he could be as he continued his story.

“I had always dreamt of going to school since I was little, sitting in class and learning new things, making friends as much as I could, play with classmates or study with them, those sort of things. Unfortunately though, an inevitable circumstances prevented me and Saeyoung to receive proper education back then, so I was only able to experience it when I was finally able to go to church with my guardians. I remember how elated I was when I found out that I was going to attend classes and get to experience the one thing I had always wondered about as a child. However, my class wasn’t held inside a school but rather in the church where volunteer teachers would conduct lessons similar to the ones they do in regular classrooms. Even still, I was overjoyed upon the amount of learning I was able to receive. And then one time, I was asked by one of the teachers about a particular scenario. ‘What if you’re given a chance to attend regular school, sit in an actual classroom with classmates, will you grab the opportunity?’ At that moment, I solemnly prayed for that opportunity to become a reality and my mind screamed that I definitely would want that. But the words that escaped my lips were brought from the heart, and it was too late for me to stop the words that left my mouth.”

‘I don’t think I can ever fit in anywhere without Saeyoung. Please help me find Saeyoung.’

He wasn’t sure if his story was inspiring or boring for the child who managed to maintain attention to his continued blabbering and this caused him to halt for a bit and think back on what he said so far. In fact, he wasn’t even the type to talk so much, but finding himself being so talkative is always at the presence of this dear child, though he does often wonder why that is.

“Oppa, are you going to cry?”

“Huh?”

Hearing the child’s inquiry while she was staring at him so full of concern while her little palm patted his shoulder abruptly startled him and cause confusion to surface.

“What made you think that?”

“Well…. Because you looked so sad…..If you’re gonna cry…. I’m gonna cry too… Don’t cry Saeran-oppa…. Macy is here for you.”

Just hearing those words from her shocked him, but at the same her thoughtfulness poke strongly at his heart, letting himself be embraced by little arms that wanted to cheer him up when it was supposed to be the other way around. Finding out things were turning into an irony, he couldn’t help but let out a hearty laugh, ruffling the child’s head of hair before heaving a sigh.

“I was supposed to be the one encouraging you, and yet here I am, being the one encouraged. Hahaha.”

The little lady who finally let go stared back at him in wonder as to why he was laughing, but his laughter was oddly contagious that it also made her smile and laugh too, filling the quiet gardenscape with happy vibes.

“Oppa, did you enjoy your classes?” After a while of spending time at the park, the two were now on their way home, hand in hand as always.

“It was indeed fun while it lasted. In fact, my only regret was that I couldn’t be classmates with Saeyoung.”

“Really?! But that is sad! Saeyoung-oppa and Saeran-opa should always stick together!” “Hahaha, nah. We can’t be together all the time. And… he had his own valid reason why he couldn’t too at that time.”

He would be lying if he denied how lonely he was back then, but the past was no longer important because now he and his brother are together once again. Still, he couldn’t stop thinking back to what might have been if he went to school together with Saeyoung, and experience a regular school life like how he had always dreamt.

“Oppa! I want you to attend school with me tomorrow!” Her cheerful smile and voice made a wry smile crawl on the lad’s lips.

“I can’t do that. Your teacher might get mad.” “Don’t worry! I will politely ask teacher if you could be my classmate.”

“What? But don’t you think I am too old to sit in with your class?”

“Mama said no one is too old for school, and I believe her. Hehe!”

“Hah…. She does make a sound point.”

“Oh! And I will also ask teacher to have Saeyoung-oppa as our classmate!”

“Whoa.. I don’t think that’s a good idea….”

“Macy is now excited for school! I hope we can all sit on the same group!”

“And she’s not hearing me… Hehe.”

Despite his protest about the child’s idea of having him and his brother as classmates, deep inside his heart Saeran was quite amused and grateful for this little angel who made the most change in him for the past months after she came into their lives. And because of that, his wounds from his drastic past were slowly mended and healed.

“Perhaps it won’t be such a bad idea to be sit in one class with you and Saeyoung after all, Macy. Who knows? Maybe we could finally live a dream come true.”

[zentherainbowunicorn]

Everlasting Party - Mystic Messenger Time Loop AU (pt 35)

<- Previous Chapter | Chapter Index | Next Chapter ->

Summary: You’re caught in a time loop during the 11 days leading up to the RFA’s party unless you can do… what, exactly?

13+ Spoiler-free! This was a bit of an unusual chapter to write, but hopefully you enjoy it~ Thanks again to Masdevallia on AO3 for beta-ing!

Thanks for all the nice feedback on the previous chapters! I'm glad you guys seem to like the video format for the chatrooms, since it allows me to be a bit more creative if I know you're going to see it all animated. Hope you like this chapter, too ^^

You sigh as you read through yet another error message preventing you from compiling your code. Goddammit. You’ve probably just forgotten to close a bracket or something. You jump to the lines of code mentioned in the error and start clicking through, trying to see what your mistake is.

You’d thought learning programming languages would be easier than learning real-world languages – how many rules could there be, anyway? – but you’d take mastering Arabic over this any day. At least in a natural language, forgetting to type one damn semicolon in an essay doesn’t render the entire paper illegible.

Ah, there it is – you’d typed an extra bracket after one of your ‘If’ statements that ended the function early. You correct the typo and hit “Run” again to compile your code.

... Another error.

 ***

Though his research didn’t suggest she’d taken any sort of computer science classes, the day after their new member joins she messages Seven asking if he can help her figure out what’s wrong with a program she’s written. He supposes she must code as a hobby, then. The thought makes him a little warm inside.

It’s an easy fix, in any case – one of her functions shares a name with a function in the language’s built-in library, so all she has to do to get rid of the error is call it something else. It’s not a very complex program; it looks like the kind of thing you might find as a question in a programming textbook. Seven wonders if she's learning to code for any reason in particular, like wanting to make a game or boost her resume for a job she wants. Whatever her reason, it's kind of fun helping her out. It’s nice to have an excuse to talk to her more often.

 ***

She bought a new computer. From the screen he’s dedicated to the apartment security feed he hacked into, he watches her sign off on the delivery. Well, it's about time. He's seen the laptop she had before this, though he's not quite sure what would make her decide to buy a desktop computer instead of a new laptop. Unless she thinks she's going to need extra processing power for something like gaming.

… Does she game? He leans back in his chair and runs his fingers through his bleached bangs. He didn't think she did, but at this point he's almost more surprised to find things he does know about her. Maybe this is a new hobby she’s getting into, or an old one he didn’t know about. He shouldn’t jump to conclusions too soon. He know he has to talk to her at some point, explain things, get her to understand, but nothing ever seems to go as planned.

She seems to tell the delivery person to leave, and when they’re gone she looks around warily before struggling to carry her purchase into the apartment. For just a moment, she glances at the security camera and their eyes meet, though she wouldn't know it. Then she's gone and he's left staring at an empty hallway. Well. Break time is over, then. The saviour might be upset to find out how much time he’s spent studying these camera feeds, but he’s already got most of his code completed for what’s to come next. Sometime soon the pieces should all fall into place.

 ***

At half past midnight, Seven's phone rings. Who would be up this late…? He checks the caller ID. Oh. It's their new member. He'd just talked to her a few hours ago. What could she have to talk about now?

“Seven? It's me again. I did what you said, but now I'm getting a memory leak error.”

“So you fixed your sort function?... I didn't think you were using heap memory for that.”

She sighs. “Well, that function doesn't, but I was using it as part of another program, and that's where the memory leak is. I pass it a pointer to the array I'm trying to sort.”

Seven stares at his computer screen, swivelling his chair back and forth. “Can’t you store the information in a vector? Then you wouldn't have to manage the memory yourself.”

“Store it in a… vector?” Her voice becomes distant and he can hear her typing something on her keyboard. “... the heck is a vector…” she murmurs.

Seven chuckles. “Let me know if that fixes the problem~”

“Gahhh… this is getting ridiculous. Yes. Okay. I'll try using vectors. Thank you… again.” She sounds a little on edge.

“No problem! I should get back to work now.”

“Okay. Me too. I…” She stops mid-sentence and lets out a long breath. “I'm sorry,” she says. I didn't mean to sound so curt. I… I really am grateful. You keep answering my calls and walking me through solutions to all the silly problems I have. I know you're busy. Honestly if I didn't have you, I'd probably just give up on the whole thing. So, thank you.”

Seven isn't really sure what to say. Sure, she'd called a few times and interrupted what he was doing, but she'd only had a couple of questions and besides, coding is what he does best. He's happy to get to know her better. “Um… you don't have to sound so serious, hehe. I like taking breaks to talk to you.”

“Even when all I do is bombard you with questions?” There's a smile in her voice and Seven wishes he could see her face. “... I like talking with you, too. I should let you get back to work, though. Don't stay up too late!”

There's a click and the call ends. Seven realizes he's still smiling a little as he puts down the phone.

 ***

Your fingers fly over the keyboard, regurgitating memorized code onto the screen for yet another attempt. This time… you really hope this time will be the time that works.

Whether he knows it or not, Seven has been a huge help in creating this program. You can't help but smile a little at the irony that it's his own code you're trying to hack.

Hacking, as it turns out, is much less glamorous than it sounds. There isn't some magical line of code that nets you unlimited access to a system, nor a mystical ability bestowed to hackers that let them make sense of a well-encrypted program. Even after spending all this time learning how to code and studying up on computer and database security, a lot of your successes have been due to extreme luck and guesswork, and the rest largely thanks to brute-force techniques. And of course, it doesn't hurt that you have a lot more time than most people to find a solution through trial and error.

You send the compiled code to your phone and check the time. Okay. You've only got a few minutes after you start until Seven notices something is up and blocks you. Here goes.

<- Previous Chapter | Chapter Index | Next Chapter ->

Small disclaimer: although I'm currently majoring in Computer Science, I'm not a hacker (lol) so I'm taking some liberties here~ But the coding stuff I mention are all actual errors I've run into and problems I've had to solve. Wish I had someone like Seven to help out...

I always love hearing what you think, so leave a comment or send me an ask! Here’s a link to the masterpost of all my Mystic Messenger fics. Thank you very much for reading! ♥

[itsclowreedsfault]

2017 Writing Round-Up

Total year-long word count: 87,840 (holy fuck)

Word count by fandom:

Mystic Messenger » 6,830 Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle » 2,022 Bungou Stray Dogs » 1,862 Yuri!!! On Ice » 169 Boku no Hero Academia » 76,957

Fics completed: >1k words

mosaic » yoi, viktuuri, angst Untitled Drabble » mysme, zen/mc, fluff Untitled Drabble #2 » mysme, v/mc, fluff something more » mysme, juminv, fluff  all our colors » bnha, todobaku, soulmate au Kitchen Disaster » bnha, todobaku, fluff Heroes » bnha, todobaku, hurt/comfort Shooting Stars » bnha, todobaku, fluff Your Hand in Mine » bnha, todobaku, angst Untitled Drabble #3 » bnha, todobaku, angst Untitled Drabble #4 » bnha, todobaku, fluff Untitled Drabble #5 » bnha, todobaku affection » bnha, todobaku, fluff

1k-5k

Kingdom of Words » mysme, saeran/mc, soulmate au a secret among the flowers » mysme, juminv, fantasy au Never Enough » trc, kurofai, angst Shatter » bsd, soukoku, angst Operation: TodoBaku? » bnha, todobaku  Unravel » bnha, todobaku, fantasy au Baby, It’s Cold Outside » bnha, todobaku, fluff It Started With a Game » bnha, todobaku Just Listen » bnha, todokiri, hurt/comfort and I know you’ll have my back » bnha, todobaku, fantasy au When It Snows » bnha, todobaku, fluff Of Movie Nights and Smashed Bowls » bnha, todobaku, roommates/childhood friends au

5k-10k what really matters » bnha, todobaku, soulmate au  The One I Want » bnha, bakukami

10k+

Silver Lining » bnha, todobaku, modern fantasy au Wandering Wolf » bnha, todobaku, fantasy au

Works-in-progress:

everything we (never) planned » bnha, todobaku, urban fantasy/fake dating au

This year I wrote and posted:

31 fics, 13 of which are drabbles (under 1k),15 one-shots, 1 completed multichapter, 1 wip (ongoing), and 1 wip (abandoned)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

I wrote so much more than I even thought I could write, no kidding. I’m still thinking about that word count and crying.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

Considering that in January I hadn’t even watched the anime/read the manga, BNHA! I never thought I’d get this invested in the series and more especifically, in TodoBaku (but I’m glad I did!).

What's your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest?

I will never stop being proud of Wandering Wolf. Writing it was a really comforting yet challenging experience, and it holds a special place in my heart.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

So many! Especially ever since I started writing TodoBaku, I started aiming for longer fics with a little more plot, instead of the moment-focused drabbles I was used to. It has helped me become more confident in going deeper into the character’s feelings, exploring how they react to different situations; it’s also been a challenge to figure out pacing and worldbuilding. Through many mistakes, I feel like I’m slowly learning to improve on those things.

I tried writing smut, something I had told myself I’d never attempt again lol And I feel like my attempts actually turned out half-decent, motivating me to keep trying to improve on that aspect of my writing.

I gave another try at multichapters, too, and managed to finish my first fic of that kind that was being posted as I wrote it, and not all chapters at once like I did for the AkaYona Big Bang last year. It was a journey that took months but I never felt more fulfilled than when I finally posted that last chapter. 

Your best story of this year:

Wandering Wolf. I feel like my writing was at its best for this fic.

Your most popular story of this year:

what really matters (considering hits/kudos on AO3). I actually never expected this story to be so popular, especially because it was only my second try this year at writing something with an Explicit rating, but I’m glad people seem to enjoy it so much!

Story of yours most under-appreciated by the universe, in your opinion:

Huuh, I guess Shatter, my Soukoku fic. I’m really proud of that one but it barely got any attention (maybe because it’s the only story I’ve ever written for the BSD fandom lol).

Most fun story to write:

Operation: TodoBaku?. I had so much fun writing TodoBaku from the perspective of other Class 1-A students, as well as coming up with their shenanigans and trying to fit some humor into it :’)

Story with the single sexiest moment:

Silver Lining, when Bakugou is touching Todoroki’s wings for the first time. I just have a thing for characters with wings, okay. 

Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story:

I don’t... think there was anything like that? My stuff is pretty tame lol worst thing I wrote was MCD and there wasn’t even any detailed description of anything.

Story that shifted your own perceptions of the characters:

Hmm, Wandering Wolf, I think. I had to do a lot of thinking to fit the characters into the universe I created, and then make them develop as the story progressed - and that involved thinking a lot about Todoroki and Bakugou’s core traits and what makes them who they are regardless of canon.  

Hardest story to write:

My current wip - everything we (never) planned. It’s hard to make my writing style work with the genre and it’s a more complicated plot than what I usually write, so that has been a challenge, too. I’m having fun with it though!

Biggest disappointment:

Your Hand in Mine. It wasn’t a disappointment as in I didn’t manage to convey what I wanted - the fic turned out exactly like I’d planned - but I just regretted ever writing it. I’ve even thought of deleting it multiple times, but decided not to. 

Biggest surprise:

Silver Lining and Wandering Wolf! I was so excited with both AUs, and really afraid I wouldn’t be able to do them justice. But both stories developed so well and writing them was so much fun, I’m very proud of the finished works. And they were both extremely well received by my readers, which was the biggest surprise of all and made me incredibly happy.

Most unintentionally telling story:

Just Listen. The entire thing is me projecting myself onto Kirishima lmao

Favorite opening line(s):

“There's a myth about the forest that is hidden among the distant mountains.” - from Wandering Wolf

Favorite closing line(s):

“But the thing is - not everything about a myth is true, is it?” - from Wandering Wolf

Favorite 5 line(s) from anywhere:

This would get pretty long and coincidently I chose exactly 5 favorite lines for the favorite quotes prompt of Fic Writers Week so I’ll just link to that post here.

Top 5 scenes from anywhere you would choose to have illustrated:

» Bakugou holding Todoroki in the forest as he disappears, from Unravel. » Bakugou touching Todoroki’s wings for the first time, from Silver Lining. » Bakugou and Todoroki sitting side-by-side in the snow, from When It Snows. » Bakugou holding Todoroki’s hands to calm him down, from Chapter 4 of Wandering Wolf. » Chuuya playing the piano, from Shatter.

Fic-writing goals for next year:

Finish my current WIP and my ideas for BakuTodo Week. Do my best to write a great piece for a zine (!!) I got accepted into. I also have a rather ambitious project I want to work on that will involve mixing my writing with graphic design.

And this is more of a personal goal, though it’s still related to fic writing so I suppose it counts: stop obsessively comparing myself to others and hating myself and my writing whenever I don’t measure up to them. Stop depending on numbers so much. It’s something that’s been hindering me a lot these past few months to the point where I have to force myself to write because it’s almost like constant writer’s block.

Despite the ups and downs, I feel like this was an amazing writing year for me. I’m proud of what I achieved with my writing, and it has improved a lot even if I have a hard time believing that most of the time. I’m thankful for all the support I’ve gotten and for you lovely readers who always interact with me or my content in one way or another. Y’all are the real MVPs ❤

[smile-smile-ichthys]

A Daughters Lesson - A Saeran Fanfic

Title - A Daughters Lesson Game - Mystic Messenger Characters - Saeran Choi, MC, their daughter I named Kyung Rating - PG Description - Just a little fanfic about Saeran’s daughter learning a valuable lesson about life.

Been wanting to do a Saeran fic for a few days now. Since I managed to finish my character profiles for Uni yesterday, thought I’d see if I could write it this afternoon after fabric shopping. And yey, I did it :D I was inspired by @myetie headcanon on the RFA and their childrens first day at school. I love her art and I’ve wanted to do some writing from her headcanons before but nothing sparked until now. I hope she sees this but I know she probably won’t. Anyway, enjoy!

“Kyung! Get your shoes on, please” MC shouted from downstairs.

Today was hers and Saeran’s daughters second day of school. Her very first day, yesterday, had gone just fine and little Kyung was so excited to go back again the next day. Over and over she had said she wanted to do art again, draw, paint, anything creative, she clearly enjoyed it. She had made several friends too, it definitely put Saeran’s mind at ease that she had managed to make friends so quickly and easily.

“Coming!” Kyung shouted from her room, grabbing her shoes and running as fast she could downstairs to greet her mum.

“Let’s have a look at you” MC checked her daughter’s hair, cheeks and clothes happily and proudly “perfect”

“Daddy says I’m always perfect” Kyung giggled.

“Of course, because I’m right that’s why” Saeran said, popping his head around the corner from his work room. Kyung giggled even harder before jump hugging her dad.

It certainly was a sight to see, Saeran hugging his little girl before school was becoming routine for them, but the sheer joy MC felt from witnessing such love always made it special. He had come so far since her and Saeyoung had found him and helped him, oh so far. He still had nightmares and had his struggles, but since Kyung had come into their lives, he was coping with those a lot better. The RFA was still running strong, each member very eagerly being an aunt or uncle to Kyung, even if it irritated MC when Jumin bought way too many gifts for her birthday. Either way, she was being brought up in such a love filled environment MC was proud of her daughter, and Saeran for giving her such a strong head start in life.

“Right, shoes please” Saeran said, putting her down.

“You’ll pick me up yeah?” Kyung asked, sitting on the floor to pull her shoes on.

“Of course, I did yesterday, I’ll pick you up every day, that was the deal” he smiled when his computer peeped.

It was an agreement that MC dropped Kyung off and Saeran picked her up. Since both worked from home most of the time, this arrangement was easily executed. Saeran was still hacking, but in a more safe environment, for the government along with Saeyoung. No more scary agencies, just safety. MC planned the RFA parties, along with running her own business. It was a perfect balance of work and time at home to spend with their daughter.

“Can we get ice cream?” Kyung asked, whilst pulling her back pack on.

Saeran knelt in front of her and offered his little finger.

“Pinkie Promise” he grinned. Kyung happily took his finger in hers and grinning up at him. Saeran’s heart always swelled with happiness whenever she smiled, he was sure it was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, not including MC obviously, but his computer kept beeping, he had work to do. So he kissed her head and went back to his computer.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When the time came to pick up Kyung, Saeran had finished his work for the day, he always got up earlier than usual to make a start so when it came to 4pm, he could focus on spending time with Kyung without worry. In a way, Kyung had seriously helped him with his mental health, she motivated him to do better and he owed her a lot for that, he’d spend the rest of his life doing that if he had to.

The school wasn’t too far, around a 20 minute walk, Saeran and MC had decided on getting a house as close to the school as possible, but also close to the shops, especially their favourite ice cream parlour. That was one thing she really looked forward to, every Tuesday was ice cream day for them both, it was used as a well done on getting through the first two days of the week. They kept Friday for family treat day which all three of them did something different, whether it was a cheeky take out or a games night. Most of the time, though, it ended up being both.

Saeran’s heart raced just a little faster as he approached the gates, ignoring the stares from parents around him. Even though he had definitely changed a lot since MC had saved him from Mint Eye, he still looked a little rough around the edges, and he still had the tattoo on his arm which he always covered around the school. The other parents always judged his appearance, even though he dulled down as much as he could, he even wore bright jumpers, he still looked a little intimidating. To him, he didn’t care, as long as his daughter wasn’t scared of him that’s all that mattered. Ignoring the judgemental stares around him, he just focused on looking out for his little girl.

The day before she had come out bounding, straight towards him and leapt into his arms. It was something he was greatly hoping would happen every day, but to his utter disappointment, Kyung didn’t do that. Instead, she was slumped over as she quietly walked over towards him. That wasn’t like her, she was always so bright and bubbly, especially around him and MC, something must have happened.

“Kyung?” he asked, kneeling in front of her again “You ok?”

“Yeah” was all she said, tugging on his arm “can we go now?”

“Of course” he said, taking her hand in his, but she pulled away “Kyung, take daddy’s hand” he said firmly. There was definitely something up, especially when he saw the looks and whispers that the other girls in her class were aiming at them. Ok, he wouldn’t say anything yet, but maybe the ice cream would cheer her up.

“So, what kind of ice cream do you want this time?” he asked as cheerfully as he could.

“Don’t want ice cream” she huffed.

That stung. She didn’t want ice cream anymore? She was breaking their promise?

“You don’t? Kyung, what’s happened?” he asked, stopping to talk to her.

“Nothing” she said, pulling him to keep walking.

Maybe it was better to ask when they were at home.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naturally, MC was surprised when they came back.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting you guys home so early! Was the ice cream place too busy?” she asked, all smiles and cheer.

Kyung dropped her bag and ran towards the stairs.

“Kyung, living room” Saeran said firmly, stopping her in her tracks. She turned and slumped into the living room to sit on the sofa.

“What’s happened?” MC asked in a whisper.

“I’m not sure, but we have to find out what” Saeran said, worried about her.

The two of them knelt in front of their daughter; they were both very forward with making sure they were on her level as much as possible, never looking down at her, something that Saeran had insisted on when they discussed on how to bring her up.

“Kyung, somethings clearly happened at school that’s upset you, can you tell us?” Saeran asked.

“Nothing’s happened” she said, fiddling with her dress.

“You’re not your usual self sweetie, if you can’t tell us we can’t help the problem” MC said.

“Daddy is the problem” she said, Saeran’s heart breaking in his chest. How was he the problem? What had he done? Saeran racked his brains, inside and out, but couldn’t think of a reason of her saying this. His own daughter had come to hate him, maybe? Saeran didn’t want to believe this, but his anxiety was beginning to get better of him. He clenched his fists.

“How is daddy the problem, sweetie?” MC asked calmly, but she knew how Saeran must have been feeling.

“I don’t want him picking me up anymore” she said.

“Why?” MC asked.

“I just don’t mummy, can you pick me up?” she asked.

“This is something we’ll need to talk about darling, you understand that you’re hurting daddy with these words? You need a reason for asking this”

Kyung glanced at Saeran before looking away. It was killing him. From his heart outward, he felt like his whole being was being destroyed.

“Do you understand, Kyung?” MC asked.

“Yes”

“We’ll need to think about your request, ok? But for now, daddy is going to keep picking you up, until you’re ready to tell us what’s really wrong, sound fair?” MC asked.

“Yes”

“Ok, now go get ready for your dinner” she said, and Kyung jumped from the sofa and ran upstairs.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saeran needed some time alone that night, but it didn’t take long for MC to curl up next to him in bed and hold him tightly. She knew he was hurting badly and he needed the comfort, but they had to wait until Kyung was in bed. Their daughter still hadn’t given a reason for asking MC to pick her up instead of Saeran, but MC knew they had to be patient, Kyung would open up when she was ready. School was a huge step, and they thought she had gotten over the biggest hurdle already, clearly they were wrong.

“I think she’s being bullied” Saeran pipped up, quickly wiping his eyes. Yeah, he’d been crying.

“What makes you say that?” MC asked, stroking his cheek gently.

“When I picked her up, I saw some girls in her class whispering, pointing at us” he explained.

“Do you want me to talk to the teacher when I drop her off?”

“No, I think the problem is me, I think I have an idea why anyway, I’m sorry I let this get to me” Saeran said, kissing MC’s hand carefully.

“You have every right to get upset, will you tell me what the idea is?”

“I’m scary, maybe not to you, or to the RFA, or our daughter, but to others I’m incredibly intimidating, and that’s something I can’t help, so, I’m going to go to the school early to pick her up as a little surprise, I’ll see how she’s acting in break time, is that ok? If I can see who the bullies are then we can talk to the teacher” he asked.

“If you think that’s best then I’ll trust you” MC smiled and Saeran wrapped his arms tightly around her.

“Thank you”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saeran waited until his daughters final break time of the day to go and investigate. If she wasn’t ready, he doubted she’d ever be ready, bullying was tough on anyone, but especially on someone who’s only ever had love and positive vibes around her. To suddenly be shunned can be a shock to the system, enough to cause her to become mute towards the situation. It was the last thing he wanted, his daughter to become so inward and unable to voice her emotions. He’d been like that for a long time, and wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy, even Saeyoung.

He was outside the gate in no time and found a tree to hide behind when the bell rang for the kids’ final break. He didn’t exactly need to keep an eye out for her. She was the last out of the doors and quickly made her way to a bench well out of the way of the playground. Yeah, that wasn’t like her. She was always the first one at home to ask for her skipping rope during playtime outside. Keeping hidden, he watched from a distance as she sat by herself. She kept glancing towards her classmates, she even at one point got up and went over to ask to play. They all backed away, almost scared of her and said no. She went back to her bench and kept to herself. So, she wasn’t being bullied, the children were scared of her, of him too. It all made sense now. She had done so well on her first day because they hadn’t met him yet, then the next day everything changed. As soon as they saw who her dad was, they became scared. It was only natural, especially since he knew their parents would have fuelled that fear, and being so young, Kyung didn’t know how to cope with it. His heart hurt, even more so than before. He had to fix this with her, show that just because they’re scared doesn’t mean she should sacrifice her joy, she shouldn’t change who she is.

After talking with the teachers, he approached her in the school playground, ignoring the kids’ reactions to him. He heard gasps, little screams, but he kept walking towards her.

“Daddy?” she asked, quickly clocking the reactions. He could see the almost panic on her face, but also slight relief that she wasn’t alone now. He took his usual stance in front of her, kneeling as best he could.

“They’re scared of you and me, aren’t they?” he asked.

She went quiet, looking down at the floor, so, he took her chin in his hand ever so gently and lifted it up so he could see her face.

“Kyung, answer me” he said, a little firm, but still kind.

“They said you killed someone, people who look like you are mafia, or murdererers, they said you were a horrible person, I said you’re not! ‘Cause…’cause you’re my daddy, but they didn’t believe me, and now they won’t play with me” she sniffed, tears dripping down her cheek.

His heart broke all over again. He’d had a rough past, but she didn’t know about that, it was something MC and him had agreed not to share with her until she was older, if she asked. He knew people would judge his appearance, maybe even make a few whispers, but telling their children that he was those things…no, he wasn’t having that. He’d definitely be having words with the teacher, but right now Kyung was the most important person to heal.

“Sweetheart, do you love daddy?” he asked, she nodded as she sniffed, fighting tears. “Do you enjoy playing with a skip rope?” she nodded again, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. He smiled. “Do you like ice cream?” she nodded again, giggling slightly. “Then, sweetheart, that’s all that matters, because I love you more than anything in this world!”

“Even more than uncle Saeyoung?” she giggled.

“Even more than him” he chuckled, but becoming serious “You’re going to meet people who don’t like the way I look and will make up lies, you’re going to get people who don’t like you, or are scared of us, but, you have to be the bigger person here and still show them kindness and respect” he explained “if they won’t play with you, stuff them, you pick up a skip rope and you skip to best of your ability, because I bet you, when they see how good you are, they’re going to want to join in”

“And I let them?” she asked.

“Yes, because that’s you showing forgiveness and love” he smiled, letting her wipe her eyes again.

“Ok, daddy, I’m sorry I said those things” she said, almost crying again.

“Daddy forgives you, thank you for the apology” he said, pulling her into a hug “How about we go get that ice cream now?”

“I want chocolate!” she laughed, climbing onto his back. Relief washed over him, his heart finally at peace, she was ok.

“Really? Well, I want choc chip!” he grinning, carrying her past the kids who stared at them as they went.

“I promise, daddy, I promise I’ll show them how good I am at the skip rope tomorrow!” she said into his ear.

“I hope you tell me all about it when I pick you up” he said, heading towards the ice cream parlour.

“I will! I’ll tell you everything from now on!” she said, clinging to his neck.

[my-mystic-messenger]

Can I request a high school AU (the RFA and everyone is in high school) with MC x Zen? Like them meeting in theatre class together and she's really shy and quiet around them but they both love acting and she's secretly really good at improv and comedy? Like how they get together and how the other members react and stuff. At this point Zen would have been on his own for a while now and he's probably in a gang. Sorry if this is too specific haha I just love your writing

So haha the last two days I spent re-watching Ouran High School Host Club so basically this is a mash-up of my experience in theatre club + Ouran High School Host Club + Mystic Messenger. What could possibly go wrong, am I right?! 」(￣▽￣」) Also, this blew way out of proportion, so I put it under a read more. I hope you enjoy that clusterfuck of fic as much as I enjoyed dreaming it up

Mentioned MC’s Masterlist

|| REQUEST ARE (ALWAYS) OPEN!! ||

Fandom: Mystic MessengerRating: GeneralWarnings: NoneCategories: F/MRelationships: MC x ZenWord count: 6060

Ouran Elite PrivateAcademy

a prestigious privateschool located in Seoul, Korea. The school is attended primarily bychildren of the rich and famous. Ouran Academy houses five differentdivisions: Kindergarten, Elementary School, Middle School, HighSchool and University. All four divisions are all located on the samecampus and students are free to move about.

Meet the students:

Jumin Han (19) - Freshmenin College (child of a business magnate)

Jihyun Kim (19) -Freshmen in College (child of a celebrity)

Madeleine Campbell (18) -12th grader in High School  (child business magnate)

Mélodie Carpentier (18) -12th grader in High School (child of a celebrity)

Jaehee Kang (18) - 12thgrader in High School (honour student)

Hyun Ryu (17) - 11thgrader in High School (child of prominent family)

Macy Cain (16) - 10thgrader in High School (child of prominent family)

Saeyoung&Saeran Choi(15) 10th graders in High School (children of a politician)

Yoosung Kim (14) 8thgrader in Middle School (child of a politician)

Hyun Ryu had beenattending Ouran Academy since Kindergarten. Despite his family beingneither rich nor famous both his older brother and him had beenaccepted due to their parents’ scholar status and the fact that theywere Ouran Alumni. Hyun and his brother were labeled as children of a‘prominent family’, yet basically being nothing more than honourstudents. At first Hyun had enjoyed it. The school was prestigiousand fancy, the people were generally nice and with smaller classesstudying wasn’t half as bad as it would have been in any publicschool. Plus, he looked really good in the uniforms. However, asyears passed he began feeling less and less comfortable and happy.Especially once he’d realized that he most certainly did not aspireto be some business mogul or even a scholar like his parents. 

He’donly dared to admit as much once he’d finally entered High School andwhile his parents didn’t transfer him away from Ouran – mainlybecause they still hoped the school would shape him and talk somesense into their son – he’d no longer been welcome at their home.Hyun had been forced to run away and somehow find his own way throughlife from that moment on. Despite having made good friends during hisyears at Ouran, Hyun refused all their help. He was annoyed at theprivilege he’d received so far as it was, set on making his way tothe top all by himself. Hyun gave up his former life and completelyreinvented himself as Zen. Zen who was charming and confident. Zenwho started the Ouran Theatre Club, open to all and everyone. Hewanted to perform, become the best at his profession and bewitchnations with his talent.

Sadly, ambition alone didnot pay rent and Zen learned that bitter lesson rather soon. Hungerstarted to drain him, constantly jumping between sleeping somewherein school or at friends’ places became inconvenient and borderlinemortifying. He needed money and he needed it soon. Sadly he was notquite at a place where he could earn enough money with his acting andZen had very little other talents that could have been of help. Thatwas until a man asked him about his bike, how well he rode and howconfident he was in his abilities. Zen had been confused at first –the man did look kind of sketchy – but when he mentioned big sumsof money he could win with nothing more than racing on his bike Zenhad been sold. Desperation overruled logic and before he knew Zen hadjoined a motorgang, riding for their lives, in the most literal ofsenses.

The days were spent inschool, his afternoons in the barely there theatre club he’d startedand by night he raced other people for money or got into fights withother clans. It wasn’t the perfect situation, but he got by and thatwas all that mattered. His body soon started to condition itself,healing at a rate that was almost inhumanly fast to make up for allthe damage he took during races or fights gone wrong. Barely a weekwent by without Zen doing some kind of damage to his body. It soonled to a bad-boy reputation to be build on his part, something hehadn’t quite played on but works with. The girls enjoy him in leatherjackets and tight jeans, riding to school on his bike and smokingbehind the building, so he accents such behaviour instead of hidingit in his desperate need for attention and affection. It is only atthe beginning of his 11th school year that things begin tochange.

♬

When the door to thetheatre club opened Zen froze, instantly jumping up from the tablehe’d been sitting on to look who it was. Despite his desperateattempts to put even a single play on stage he’d failed miserably sofar. No one at Ouran seemed to be interested in joining the theatreclub, too busy following their parents’ footsteps into commercialsuccess. Zen desperately wanted to judge them, but opposite to himthey seemed content with their fate. He’d almost given up hope on theclub, ready to dissolve it entirely, when suddenly a young girlentered, looking around the big room. “Hello”, she called, eyesscanning the entire room before landing on Zen. They widened withsurprise – something he’d gotten used to by now, with his strangelooks – before a bright smile and kindness replaced the initialsurprise, leaving Zen breathless.“Are you Hyun then”, sheasked, heavy American accent in her Korean. Still, at least she’dbothered to learn the language, something that Zen was more thanimpressed with. He stepped towards her, holding out his hand for herto shake. “I am. You’re a foreigner. Could it be that you are thetransfer student everyone has been talking about?” The girl nodded.“Yes, my name is Macy Cain. I came here to study dance in a DanceAcademy, but I still have to go to school, so here I am.” Shechuckled and Zen hadn’t heard such genuine sounds in a long time. “Isee. Sadly our school doesn’t have a dance club, I’m afraid”, hesaid and Macy nodded. “I know, I already asked around. That’salright though. They told me about the theatre club and Ifigured…well if we perform something like a musical, a danceperformance is a must and I could definitely help withthat.”Musical? Zen hadn’t even considered musicals. He wasquite the good singer and he did play the guitar, but without anyactors for even an ordinary play, how on earth was he supposed tothink about musicals. He rubbed the back of his head nervously,cheeks reddened. “I’m sorry to say, but the theatre club is ratherdead. I tried getting people to join, but some are afraid of me, someare not allowed to be associated with me and some are too busystaring and admiring me to even consider proper acting and disciplineand I detest half-heartedness, so the club never really came to be”,he explained, sighing when the thought really sunk in anddisappointment overwhelmed him. Macy hummed. “How unfortunate.Well, we’ll just have to gather some people then. See you tomorrowfor practice”, she announced, cheerful as ever, before leaving theroom and a baffled Zen behind.

♬

The next day Zen foundhimself surprisingly hopeful as he sat in the auditorium all byhimself. Every time he heard steps from the hall his heart skipped abeat, excitement flooding his body, only to be disappointed when thedoors didn’t open. About half an hour into ‘practice’ Zen was readyto throw the towel and leave when suddenly the doors opened and Macystepped in. Zen instantly jumped up, practically running towards her,happy to at least have her return. That is when he spotted threeother people walking and froze. “Trust Fund Kid?! What the fuck areyou doing here?!” Zen glared at the guy, hands balling into fists.Jumin merely gave him an uninterested glance. “I am here to jointhe theatre club, obviously.” Beside him another young manappeared, blue haired and much friendlier looking as well as ared-haired young woman.

“Did Macy talk you intothis? I don’t people like you to join my club”, he hissed back,reading to throw a fit. Jumin huffed. “No, she did not. Madeleinedid”, he replied, hand resting on the young woman’s lower back. Shelooked gentle, smiling up at the boy beside him which lead Zen tobelieve that she must have been his girlfriend. That possibly shockedhim more than Jumin’s willingness to join the club. Who on earth withever subject themselves to Jumin Han on a regular basis? “Not tomention that calling it 'your club’ is rather absurd considering thatup to this point it had no members and the only reason it has any nowis thanks to Madeleine and Macy.” Oh Zen definitely wanted to smashhis fucking face in. Then again, Jumin was right. Not only did theclub have any members now, it had enough to be considered legitimateto school standards. They could finally perform!

“How didyou do it”, Zen asked, this time talking to Macy, awe written allover his face. She chuckled. “Madeleine and I got to know eachother at orientation day. When I asked her about it she was delightedto join. She asked Jumin, who was a little reluctant at first, butonce Jihyun agreed to join if he did we roped both of them into it”,Macy explained, high-fiving the other girl. Ah, so Jumin Han wasn’tquite as independent and controlling as he liked to portray himselfto be, if his girlfriend could rope him into things like that. “Ididn’t know you could act”, Zen said, glaring at Jumin again butthis time with less heat. “I can’t. What ridiculous assumptions.I’ll manage the club, Jihyun will record the performances, Macy willdance, Madeleine is a mighty fine actress and you…I guess you’lllook pretty on the posters.” This time Zen had to be physicallyheld back from punching the asshole.

♬

“And who are you two”,he asked, looking down at the twins with confusion. “Saeyoung andSaeran. Macy is in our class”, they replied in union, alreadyirritating Zen. He closed his eyes o hide the fact that he wasrolling them so hard, any more and he wound have seen his own brain.He looked to Macy then, pleadingly. Was she serious? Macy grinned andshrugged. “They are really clever. Both of the skipped a grade,which is why they are so young”, she explained as if it helped thesituation. He already had Jumin Han to annoy him. Zen didn’t need toknow it alls on top of it. “We can memorise any script afterreading it once”, one of the brothers said, the one with theglasses. “Plus, we can act. So well some people can’t even tell weare acting”, the other one added, a somewhat mischievous glint tohis eyes. Zen shivered. “W-well…welcome to the theatre club, Iguess…”♬

“I could help V with thescenery”, Mélodie suggested on the clubs third meeting. Despitenot having chosen a play, everyone in the club was getting excitedand dividing up the work. They were only eight people at this point,but things were staring to look up. Frankly, one could do a lot morewith eight people than Zen had first assumed. “Okay so V andMélodie are taking care of the stage design, Zen and Macy will beworking on the music, Madeleine and I will work on the costumes andthe twins will take care of special effects and technology ingeneral. Now the real question is…should we write an originalscript and if so…who wants to do that?” That was when a quietvoice chirped up from the back of the auditorium, startling all themembers gathered on stage. “I could do that.” Madeleine andMélodie recognized the girl as their classmate Jaehee and so eightmembers became nine.

♬

“Isn’t he a littleyoung? Especially compared to the oldest members”, Zen whispered atMacy as they watched the new addition to their club – Yoosung Kim –be teased by the twins. “I mean…I guess, but he seems reallyeager? Frankly he seems to get along better with the older guys thanwith the twins who are closest to his age. Plus, he might be aninteresting addition”, she whispered back, shrugging. “Uh-huh?How so”, Zen asked, disbelieve audible in his voice. “I don’tknow, Zen, he’s cute. He could be our mascot or something like that.”Zen hummed, looking at the little blonde dude with huge doe eyes. Hedid have that whole shota-boy thing going for him and they didn’thave someone like that in their rounds yet. “I bet he can trickpeople into coming to our shows if we let him hand out the fliers andstuff”, she added and so the deal was sealed.

♬

“Okay everyone, we’llstart todays practice with an improv session. Maybe it will help uscome up with a possible plot for our play and yes, Jumin, you have toparticipate as well”, Zen announced into the round. Jumin huffedbut instantly relaxed when Madeleine pressed a kiss to his cheek.Whipped! They stood in a circle for a quick warm up before Zen askedinto the round who would like to begin. Suddenly the room wasoverwhelmed by a radio silence. How come the theatre club was full ofpeople who didn’t want to act?! “Macy, come join me, please. Youtoo, Yoosung. We’ll start with a simple family scene and see how itgoes from there.” While Yoosung actually seemed eager upon havingbeen picked, instantly climbing on stage to prove himself and hisworth, Macy was hesitant. Usually she was very confident andoutgoing, which is why he’d picked her to begin with.

“Zen, I’m not anactress. I came here to dance, mainly”, she said, not meeting hiseyes. Zen frowned, taking in her demeanour as he’d never seen herlike that. Macy never shied away from a challenge and Zen wouldn’tallow as much to to happen now. Holding out his hand for her to takehe smiled. “Don’t be scared. We’re all friends here so no one willjudge.” After quickly glancing around the room, met with a row offriendly smiles, Macy took Zen’s hand and climbed on stage to joinhim and Yoosung. Zen could tell that she was still nervous, but atleast she was trying and he appreciated that. Acting was completelydifferent from dancing and on top of that improv was especially hard.Without a script or more than a general idea to go by a lot of peoplestruggled with it, even professionals. Still, Zen believed in Macyand as it turned out he was right in doing so.

Whatever you threw at her,Macy had quick, witty comeback. During their short improv that day –mere five minutes at most – she managed to make even Jumin laugh.Not only that, but she turned out to be a great actress too. Hercomedic act could have easily turned out to be ridiculous andunprofessional, but Macy took her role serious, which probably madethe whole thing all the more hilarious to watch. Meanwhile Yoosungsuffered through the improv as it got increasingly hard for him notto crack up at Macy’s jokes as well, thereby breaking character. WhenZen called cut on the scene the rest of the group cheered andclapped, leaving Macy to blush and bow to them shyly. Zen could do nomore than stare at her, heart racing. It was only when the twinsdemanded to play a scene as well that he snapped out of it, shakinghis head to focus on practice.

♬

“I think we should meetafter school to take care of the music now that we finally have anactual script”, Macy suggested, two weeks after their first improvsession. Jaehee had done a great job at writing it. After watchingthe entire group do their improvs for a couple of days, Jaehee hadcatalogued all their strengths and weaknesses, incorporating theminto the characters and story she wrote. After sitting everyone downthey’d turned the story into a proper script a new motivation takingover the small club. Every day they met to practice their lines andblocking on stage and after practice most of them stayed behind totake care of their individual tasks as well. Zen was so happy to seeeveryone excited about their play as well as having such a devotedand loyal group of friends. Even Jumin took his role as manager ofthe club increasingly serious, silently pulling the strings oneverything.

“Sure, we can staybehind in the auditorium after practice to work on the music”, Zensuggested, grinning down at the blonde. Since the beginning of theirlittle club about a month ago he’d grown rather attached to her.Despite not being in the same class they spent a lot of timetogether, both at theatre club as well as the breaks in betweenclasses. She always sought him out during lunch time, sitting next tohim where others had kept their distance, while Zen always walked herhome after school. Well, he never walked her the entire distance,scared that someone from another gang would see and possibly attackthem. He did, however, watch her leave once they’d reached the cornerthey usually parted ways at, heart beating just a little fasterwhenever she turned around one last time to wave him goodbye.

“No, that won’t do. Therest of the club is always day making some kind of ruckus and wecan’t practice, let alone compose, under such conditions. Plus, I gethungry if we stay too long and then I get cranky and when I’m crankyI can’t work. I would suggest going to my place, but I live by myselfand my apartment is extremely tiny. Could we maybe meet at yours?”Zen knew that Macy had asked without mean intent, actually makingsome valid points, but the question hit home. He froze almostimmediately, expression falling from happy to something dark andempty instead. Macy stopped in her tracks when she noticed the suddenchange in mood, turning to look at her friend. It was obvious thatshe was worried, reaching out to him but hesitating. Her hand reachedout for his face but hung in the air until Zen moved into the touch,hand resting against his cheek as he closed his eyes.

It feltso warm against his cold skin, so much so that he had the need torest his hand above hers to keep it in place, burying himself in thegentle touch. “I don’t really have a home”, he admitted in awhisper like it was some kind of dirty secret, something to beashamed off. “What”, came a quiet gasp in reply. “Why?” Zenfinally opened his eyes, meeting Macy’s. He could see the tearsthreatening to roll down her cheeks gathering and hated himself formaking her worry like that. Still, he could not lie, not with her.Macy was probably the only person he could be fully himself with andmaybe Zen needed that from time to time. No acting. No falseconfidence. No playing cool or tough. Just…Zen. “My parents bothwent to Ouran Academy as honour students. They are scholars, elitesif you want. My brother followed their footsteps but when I announcedI wouldn’t -”

“They kicked you out?”Zen nodded. “At first I tried living with friends, but its rude tostay longer than a couple of days at a time and eventually, after acouple of months, I got tired of jumping between families. I was atan all time low, walking down the streets with my tiny suitcasedragging behind me when this dude came to me, asking about my bike.They offered me a place to stay and food, so I accepted to come withhim”, he explained, shrugging. He never had to explicitly mentionit, but Macy soon realized what her friend was trying to tell her.“You joined a biker gang?! Oh Zen, don’t tell me you’re racing!”Zen blushed, taking a step back and instantly missing the featherytouch against his cheek. “It’s not like I had a choice. It’s eitherride or die and I’d rather die trying than die curled up in someditch.”

Zen had expected a lot of reactions, but mostcertainly not the slap to the face he received. “Risking your lifefor something like that? I thought you were smarter than that, youidiot”, Macy snapped, tears now freely running down her cheeks,slender body shaking almost violently. “It’s not like I had achoice, Macy! I had no money and nowhere to go.” Had he not caughther hand, she probably would have slapped him another time. “Youcould have asked us”, she screamed. “Every day you meet with ninepeople who care for you and love you and yet you are too proud to askany of us for help!? Shame on you, Ryu.. Risking your valuable lifeon illegal races that could kill you faster than any starvationbecause you 'had no other choice’ is the dumbest excuse I’ve everheard. I’ll wake the rest of the way myself. Someone who can’t takecare of themselves should not be worrying about taking care of me.”

♬

Upon entering theauditorium the next morning Zen was met with his nine friends, alltalking in hushed voices that instantly stopped when they noticedhim. For a while they all silently stared at him and Zen had beenabout ready to turn around and leave when out of all people Juminstepped forward. Without a word he held out an envelop and Zen didn’thave to be a genius to know it was money. He could feel the angerrise inside of him and before he knew he was slapping the others handaway. “I don’t need your money, jerk! I’m not your little charitycase”, he snapped angrily. As per usual Jumin’s expression remainedcalm and stoic. It was Madeleine who seemed hurt and angry as shestepped forward to look at her boyfriends hand before picking up theenvelop that had fallen to the floor. “It’s not Jumin’s money, Zen,so please man up and just accept our help already.”

Zen instantly calmed uponfaced with such defeat in everyones eyes. He sighed, taking theenvelop and actually looking inside. He felt a little dizzy when herealized just how much money that was. “You don’t seriously want meto believe that this isn’t his. Who else has so much money on theirhands”, he asked, waving the thick bundle around. “OuranAcademy’s student body. We knew you wouldn’t accept our money, oranyones really, so we asked for tiny, tiny donations from everyone.Only so much that it wouldn’t be a bother to them. We didn’t tellthem what the donations were for, so they wouldn’t feel obliged tohelp. Ouran Academy is filled with rich people so some of thedonations might seem like a lot to you, but to them it’s not even asplit of their lunch money. They happily gave it up so please acceptthe money and rent a place”, Jaehee explained calmly with everyonenodding along.

Zen looked at the money, on the verge of tearsas he considered through how much trouble his friends must have gonethrough to ask all the students for money like that. He sighed. “I’mreally thankful for your guys’ hard work, but even if I accept this,I can’t rent a place. This might be enough to the first deposit andmaybe first months rent, but what should I do afterwards? I don’thave any other way to earn money but participating in those races.”That is when Jumin decided to speak up once more. “This is whereyou are wrong. You can earn money by acting. We decided to scrap theplay with had in favour of writing a new, much shorter one. That waywe can perform once a week instead of once a month or year. We caninvite people to our performances and do so in exchange for money.It’s neither charity nor are we forcing anyone and you will earnmoney without risking your life.”

Zen couldn’t believe hisears. They’d not only gathered enough for him to rent an apartment,but they were also coming up with a solution for him to pay rent andprovide for himself without having to race. That is when everyone gotout the scripts they’d been hiding behind their backs, presentingthem to Zen. Every member had written their own sketch. They wereshort and not all of the members were needed, which gave the othermembers more time to prepared for their own, creating a perpetuummobile performing and writing. “You’ll have to live a very modestlife and we won’t be able to do this for longer than a couple ofyears tops, but none of us have a shred of doubt in your abilities toprovide for yourself. You just needed some help to get up, but soonyou’ll be running on your own”, V added after some silence,everyone nodding along to his words.

Zen looked at everyone,trying his best to remain calm and keep his face when in reality hewanted to sing and cry with joy. Never in his life had he experiencedsuch unconditional love and he’d never imagined to find it in a placelike this, nor from the people he got it from. Considering thecircumstances he was all the more grateful. “Thank you”, he said,looking down at the money, holding it tight to his chest as he bowedto everyone, one by one. “Thank you so much for your help. If it’salright…I’d like to accept it.” Everyone clapped and cheered,pulling Zen into a group hug. Everyone but Macy, that is. She wasstill standing at the side, watching with an unreadable expression,arms crossed over her chest. It was when Zen swallowed nervously thateveryone took the hint, wished him good luck and scrambled out of theroom.

Faced alone with Macy Zen felt more nervous than he’dever felt before. It was usually him that seduced the women, madethem feel weak in the knees. Now he felt like a little child writingtheir first love letter to a secret crush. It was nerve wracking. Hewas about go gather up the courage to say something, anything at all,when Macy uncrossed her arms and held out a stack of papers. Zen wasconfused, to say the least. He’d prepared a million apologies thenight before after she’d quite literally slapped sense into him, butnow he was taken off guard. Was that script really that important?When Macy merely continued to hold it out for him, saying nothing,Zen figured it probably was and took the script hesitantly. Macyreached behind herself once more, picking up an identical stack andopening the first page, clearing her throat. “Read”, shecommanded and Zen did as he was told.Macy: This book…Weused to read these to each other. Why did you even buy it?

Zen: You know.

Macy: No, I don’t.

Zen: Yes, you do.

- Zen attempts to makea pass at Macy, but gets pushed away -

Macy: No, I don’t!

Zen: You know, I hate yoursquishy guts.

- woman grabs ontoman, holding him in a tight embrace -

Macy: I hate yoursquishy guts.

Zen: You know you love me.

- woman pulls back andstarts lightly hitting man with her fists -

Macy: I did love you. Iloved your squishy guts. You fucked it all up.

Zen: You fucked itall up.

Macy: Oh God! Why do Ilove you? It’s those eyes! Why do you have such pretty eyes? You’resuch a jerk! Why do you have to have those eyes? Why did you make mefall in love with you? I was supposed to be over it – falling inlove. And then there you were, with those eyes.

- Macy wants to getaway but Zen stops her -

Zen: We never evenfinished them all.

Macy: Ha! You know a lotabout not finishing something.

Zen: That again? It’snot like I’m not trying. Do you have any idea what it’s been likefor me? Trying to write something, something really good, when itjust isn’t coming?

Macy: Yea, well, you’renot the only one who’s not ‘coming.’

- Zen gets the pun,then stops for a moment. He changes his demeanour to that of aseducer -

Zen: Oh. Is that yourproblem? You need a little something? I think I can take care ofthat.

- Zen pulls Macy intoa passionate kiss - Once Zen had finished reading throughthe script he understood, smiling at the last line before looking up.He was met with a pair of  half lidded blue eyes looking at him,paired with small smirk. He’d gotten the message loud and clear andnot just the good part of it. Zen put away the script, walkingtowards Macy to embrace her, holding her tight to his chest. Itwasn’t quite as seductive as the play made it out to be, but it waspassionate and sincere nevertheless. “You came up with all of it,didn’t you?” It was formulated like a question, but Zen knew theanswer without her having to tell him. Even if the others cared forhim, no one cared quite as much as her. “You saved me, you know?”Macy looked up at him then, smiling gently. “I know. I think youshould repay your hero”, she replied teasingly and once more Zenobeyed, pulling her in for the kiss they’d both waited for.

♬

“Excuse me, Hyun Ryu?”Zen turned around, surprised to be greeted by an unfamiliar, adultface. Usually only the student body came to their performances,rarely the teachers. The man in front of him was neither. “Please,call me Zen. It is the name I chose for myself”, he replied. Zentook the hand that was held out to him and shook it politely, smilingat the man. “How may I help you?” The man laughed, reaching intohis pocket and getting out a small card. “I think I might actuallybe able to help you. We’re still looking for a young lead for ourupcoming play and you are perfect for it. With your amazing looks youstick out and your talents hits the nail on the head. If you’reinterested that call that number. We can discuss the details in amore private setting.”

♬

“It’s about time toinvited us to your place, Zen”, Saeyoung said, looking around thesmall apartment curiously, twin always by his side. “Yeah, we’rethe reason you have it in the first place.” Zen huffed, shaking hishead but smiling nevertheless. All his friends were gathered at theplace he was allowed to call his own home. A couple of months hadpassed since he’d moved in and if Zen was completely honest withhimself, he could have lived with never inviting the bunch of themover at all. Seeing so many filthy rich people gathered in such amodest place, probably silently judging, made him nervous. “He wasprobably enjoying his little den of love with Macy”, Mélodiereplied with a chuckle, making herself comfortable in V’s lap. Zenhad no idea when that particular relationship had happened, but aslong as they were happy, he supposed he was happy too.“Please,don’t make such crude remarks, Mélodie. It is bad enough to thinkthat they are probably true, let alone be reminded of the fact thatZen and Macy are living a immoral life style”, Jumin repliedsternly, holding onto Madeleine like someone was about to snatch heraway. “Oh please, like you’re the one to talk. You’re drooling overyour girlfriend”, Zen replied, rolling his eyes. “Fiancée.Madeleine is my fiancée soon to be wife and if you must know, we arewaiting until after marriage for such intimate acts to be shared,thank you very much.” Zen huffed, shaking his head. “Stop callingher your fiancée. It’s creepy. You’re just nineteen years old”, hesaid. “Huh, I didn’t know love had some sort of age stamp on it”,Jumin replied easily. Madeleine snickered at his stupid come-back andJumin lovingly pressed a kiss to her temple, effectively making Zenwant to throw up.

“Hearing you talk aboutlove…it gives me the chills. Are you really sure about marryinghim, Maddy? You could still find someone better”, Zen said instead,looking at his friend with concern and pity in his eyes. The redheadmerely chuckled, shaking her head at the two boys. “As sure as youare about Macy.” Well, that certainly put things into perspective.Zen looked across the room to where Macy was talking and laughingwith the twins and Yoosung, cheerful and happy as ever. He couldn’thelp but smile just looking at her. “I’m really happy for the twoof you, by the way. We all are”, Madeleine said as she noticed theothers glance. Zen turned his head to look at her, beaming from earto ear as he thanked her for her kind words. Had it not been for thenever ending support of his friend, Zen would have never dared topursue Macy. Thankfully, he’d been nudged in the rightdirection.

“Anyway, why are we gathered here today? Don’ttell me you’re proposing to Macy”, Mélodie said, instantly causingboth Zen and Macy to blush and choke on air. “What? No! I won’tpropose to anyone until I’m finally an established man, ready toprovide for myself and my future wife. Until then, I’m afraid, Macywill have to wait.” The blush in Macy’s cheeks only deepened andshe quickly looked away to hide it. Zen couldn’t have found her moreadorable if he tried. “We’re gathered here today, because I have avery happy and not marriage related announcement to make. After ourlast performance I was approached by a producer. He was amazed withmy talent and offered me a role in his upcoming play. It’s only asmall production, but I will be playing the lead and hopefully itwill open some more doors for me.”

Everyone cheered,gathering for a big group hug. In the short time all of them hadworked together on the theatre club they’d grown together as afamily, really. There wasn’t a day they didn’t see each other or atleast chat in their little chat room the twins had provided.Naturally those were the people that Zen wanted to tell about hissuccess first. “Without all of you none of this would have beenpossible. I have a job, I have a steady home, a girlfriend I love andfriends who are by my side. Even Jumin is here”, Zen said, earninga couple of laughs while Jumin looked unimpressed. Zen grinned. Therewould not be a day that he’d miss a chance to jab at the other. “Butmost of all, I have to thank you, Macy. Without you…I would haveended up dead sooner or later. Thank you for believing in me. Pleasewait a little longer for me so I can make a name for myself, becomethe man you deserve. Will you wait for me?” Macy nodded, stealing aquick kiss that left Zen flushed and everyone else in loud cheers.“Forever.”

The little script part is not mine. You can find it here