#i literally use it DAILY in math class😭

[ace-of-garlic-breads]

Piper: why are there letters in math.

Leo: its to show an unknown. If you really want to make it easier just rearrange

Piper: huh?

Leo: BRERDRMRARS

Piper: what the actual fuck Leo?!

Leo: its just BEDMAS but with Rs to show rearranging. Let me show you.

[cluelylikesporn]

okay exam update cuz im actually really pissed off.

so im autistic + adhd, and only been diagnosed relatively recently, so i havent really been getting assistance until now. (autism diagnosis last year, adhd 2 years ago.)

my last exam was (still is) this period, and im going home once i finish it. one of my other exams i was sent to special ed (it’s called different things in australia and other schools but i dont wanna get doxxed) and the chick helping me (we’ll call her charlie) told me she couldnt even read the questions out to me… like i legit get more help in my normal exam conditions.

she told me WHILE HAVING A PANIC ATTACK “i think i know why your so upset, because you know you dont listen in class and just sleep and draw on your hand.” cunt, what..?

HOW ARE YOU WORKING WITH NEURODIVERGENT KIDS..?

i literally have spent my whole life wondering why i cant listen in class and hearing “just reread it.” or “your not listening hard enough.” is so fucking tiring. maybe explain it? she refused to help me because i “wasnt approved” to have a helper

the school knows im autistic so why do i have to be approved to get the help i need? like you dont have to make up all these forms and files. you have teachers who can help me literally in the building who could help me but you refuse.

okok i got rlly off topic but tldr on what happened today:

my teacher sent me to the special ed area to do my exam (last time he did they told me to go back) also shout out to my english teacher hes a legend. he gave me my sheet, i took a ritalin, said bye to the people i liked and left. (i used to take ritalin daily but now i jst take it to focus better in exams and shit)

i went to se and saw a couple kids i knew. one i hated and didnt know why he was there, one who has some mental problems so i understood why he was there. hes a sweetie. and some chick i knew who broke her wrist and had to write on a laptop.

so one by one they were assigned a teacher who would sit with them and help them/ read out questions and then the lady said “oh chloe your not supposed to be here, you have to go back to class.”

are you fucking kidding me.

i completely understand its not her or my teachers fault im not meant to be there, but im allowed to be a little frustrated. i asked why i kept getting sent here and why i couldn’t get help.

same shit about documents and boring stuff.

keep in mind i get ndis funding so i thought that would impact my education experience but nope, literally nothing. i also understand there could be things my mum hasnt done and that’s completely ok she has her own life, but also THE SCHOOL KNOWS IM AUTISTIC. that should be enough. its like i only get the help if i start ditching class and become an eshay or some shit like i shouldnt have to become a troubled kid to get help.

so the lady said my only benefit i even got from the school is like 5 minutes extra time. and she told me i could either go back to class or do my exam here( which means i could get no help/ questions read to me.)

ngl this was dumb of me but i said ok bc i didnt want to go back to class after saying bye to everyone😭

so i sat there with one airpod in, a pen that didnt fucking work, the only help i could get was eavesdropping on what the assistant teachers were saying but they were so quiet. i did manage to write some stuff but it was pretty fucking stressful. i couldnt stop thinking about what charlie said (the lady helping me with my maths the week before.)

this may sound super dumb but i saw a crow fly onto a table outside and i felt like it was watching over me. like it was looking right at me. it made me feel a bit better and i got some work done.

it wouldve been fine if those fucking assistant teachers didnt keep giving me pitiful looks like bro. i know im fucked.

anyway i finished my exam (barely) and went to the bathroom to tell my friend ab what happened, caught a bus home and am about to play dbd 😾

sorry for the long post im jst so pissed😭 but ily guys and ill post i swear🙏

song of the day:

[star-girl69]

AHHHH YOURE SO ADORABLE.

Damnnn fake gagging??? 😭😭I didn't know I was that baddddd. What can a girl do when she's soooo down bad.

How is your maths working out sooooo neat. I have the worst handwriting ever and then my thought process is wack so like everything always ends up in different areas yk.

Chemistry calculations are the worst and it doesn't help that I also despise chem with a passion but bio calculations make me actually wanna drop school and pursue other career options(🤭).

Mrs.B sounds like a B fr fr like why sooo mean. Don't stress about your writing too much. As always I believe in youuuu❤️

- ❤️

(Nooooo don't beee sadddd I'm sorry honey. I think our time difference is hugee. I am also training and working a lot so I sleep a lot and my schedule is haywire but trust, you always on my mind❤️❤️)

🤭🤭🤭🤭

(also sorry AGAIN i read this in the middle of my 2 hour class and then spent a lot of time smiling at the floor instead of paying attention but now i’m home and can sit down and properly reply it’s like we’re exchanging letters LMAO)

NO LIKE i mean i’m having fun! i like it if you couldn’t tell LMAOO i’m giggling and kicking my feet! i think you are doing exactly what a girl should do when she is down bad 🤭🤭 she just hates to see a real bitch (me) win (be happy) (im mostly kidding we love each other fr)

omg i thank god everyday that i have at least somewhat decent handwriting but real on the thought process being wack… especially w math like i go all over the place that’s probs why it’s my worst subject

boooooooo you just don’t understand the magic of chemistry it’s amazing!!!!! like omg nomenclature??? i loved that unit sm!!!! the first test of the year i literally got a 100/100 likkkeeee also i LOVE nuclear chem but anyways.

wait hold on i already took bio but i don’t remember CALCULATIONS??? but i think it might be diff considering my bio course is called living environment where i live

OK NO. NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!! MRS B IS THE SWEETEST MOST NICEST PROFOUND AMAZING PERSON IN THE WORLD LIKE I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE CHANGES MY LIFE ON THE DAILY BUT SOMETIMES SHES A LITTLE BLUNT

today she gave me and my bff honey chocolate hearts and once she gave us bread (there’s a picture somewhere of me and my friend walking through the hall with slices of bread in our mouths) and also she brought in a crockpot of spaghetti and force fed me I DONT LIKE MARINARA SAUCE i was like “no thank you!” and she said “ADDIE WHAT!! NO NO YOU EAT THE PASTA”

haha… i’ll try not to stress but i think we all know how that will work out…

(i headcanon england for you btw or like some sort of european country around there bc like…. “mathS” and “apologiSe” and also the whole cm thing. wait what are you training for like a marathon or is that just supposed to mean like you just go to the gym? anyways i hope you don’t overwork yourself ☹️ ☹️also i think YOU should tell ME about YOUR day 😍)

(well ig i feel a little bit better if i’m always on your mind 🤭🤭🤭) (you’re always on mine tho 💋)

[consulcato]

I didn't know what to post so I just said to myself: "Why not speak about life in Liceo Classico?" Honestly I know you guys don't care about it but hey I'm going to speak about it because I'm kinda bored so yeah 😎🤟

Let's start with a brief introduction of what is the Liceo Classico.

The Italian “Liceo Classico” is a high school major in humanities: it is possibly the only high school in the world where pupils study both Latin and Ancient Greek and it’s internationally renowned for its advanced curricula in philosophy, literature and history. The literal translation from Italian to English of “Liceo Classico” is “Classical Lyceum” but, as we anticipated above, it’s correctly translated as “humanistic secondary school” or “high school major in humanities”. The “Liceo Classico” is the oldest and most prestigious secondary school in Italy and, before 2012, was actually divided in two segments: the first two years – called "Ginnasio" or “Gymnasium” – trained the students for the second part – the real “Liceo” – which lasts three years. Now, the first two years are called "biennio" (transl. two-year period) and the last three "triennio" (transl. three-year period). Besides that, it was considered so prestigious that, up to 1969, you could not attend an Italian university of any kind if you hadn’t obtained a “Liceo Classico” diploma.

This is our week hours. The translation is:

Monday:

8.15-9.15= Italian

9.15-10.15= Science

10.25-11.15= English

11.15-12.15= Maths

12.15-13.15= Religion

Tuesday:

8.15-9.15= Latin/[Ancient] Greek

9.15-10.15= Latin/[Ancient] Greek

10.25-11.15= English

11.15-12.15= Italian

12.15-13.15= Geography and history

Wednesday:

8.15-9.15= P.E

9.15-10.15= P.E.

10.25-11.15= Latin/[Ancient] Greek

11.15-12.15= Latin/[Ancient] Greek

12.15-13.15= / (we leave school earlier)

Thursday:

8.15-9.15= Latin/[Ancient] Greek

9.15-10.15= English

10.25-11.15= Geography and history

11.15-12.15= Maths

12.15-13.15= /

Friday:

8.15-9.15= Latin/[Ancient] Greek

9.15-10.15= Latin/[Ancient] Greek

10.25-11.15= Geography and history

11.15-12.15= Maths

12.15-13.15= Latin/[Ancient] Greek

Saturday:

8.15-9.15= Latin/[Ancient] Greek

9.15-10.15= Science

10.25-11.15= Italian

11.15-12.15= Italian

12.15-13.15= /

Our school schedule is not messed up at all, actually. This is really good, considering many things. Of course, we have homework everyday and this week, for example, we had a test every day and the next days we'll have tests so yes, this is normal here. Oh, plus, not only tests, but also oral exams where our geography and history professor gives us 110 pages for the next day at 11.27 p.m. Oh, and she's a real bastard, like, she calls 8 people to her desks, does 2 questions each (things that she didn't say in class/things that aren't in the book), she continues to interrogate even when the bell of the end of the lesson rings and she gave all the people in my class a 3 (We have a 1-10 grading system, and below 6 it's a red grade, an insufficient). Like, for tomorrow, I have 130 pages plus the greek oral exam! Oh, also, today our latin-greek prof (don't get me wrong, we love her) entered our class and said "put your desks apart 😃😃" That means, there was a surprise test. Of greek. And god I went to school with 37.4 degrees of temperature (basically a fever) and pfft my mind was not working so yes 😭

These stuff that you see up here are our daily homeworks...of greek. Because yes, we have latin too for the same day!

These are the homework I had to do for today.

Ahem, so, after you cried and asked yourself why the fuck did you go to this school, you watch the clock and see it's 1 am and you think you can finally sleep, but you remember that the professor said some homework in class and she didn't put it on electronic register. With the will to live below zero, you take the enormous dictionaries.

The last step is believing that God actually exists, since you finished at 4 am and you have 2 hours to rest before waking up earlier (6 am) than the other days since you didn't understand half of the stuff that your prof will interrogate you on.

[ruminate88]

What Homeschool Was Like(wasn’t really school at all):

I was labeled in school with a “learning disability” and made to feel I was incapable of doing things on my own. I cried a lot when it came to homework and learning anything new. By the 7th grade, I’m spent. I just can’t continue pushing myself. I felt I couldn’t get past this “label” and I simply gave up. I stopped doing my homework because all day at school, teacher’s aids make me feel like I “need their help” then they send me all this homework home to suddenly do it on my own??? Talk about being confused…. So at some point, I’m failing the 7th grade. The one teacher’s aid, felt sorry for me because I wasn’t a kid who ever caused “trouble” and she knew I was failing… She took it upon herself, took me into a back room privately and GAVE ME THE ANSWER BOOK!! Literally I cheated my way through that year…

Eventually I felt guilty for lying and cheating, so I confessed to my mom and she was furious at the school system!! They had a meeting about me and basically the teacher’s aid said there wasn’t enough “help” for me, that they were already underpaid and they didn’t wanna see me fail. (They didn’t wanna lose money) My mom made the choice to start homeschooling after that! Oh happy day, I was THRILLED!!! I didn’t know what would come of it all though…

Once I’m homeschooled, I now have to reprogram my entire brain and way of thinking. My mom sets this book Infront of me and says “Ok, get started” 🤨😳 I just sat there… Eventually I was like, “Um, aren’t you going to read it to me???” My mom was flabbergasted and says, “YOU KNOW HOW TO READ!!” I explained to her that the teacher’s aid ALWAYS read papers to me. I wasn’t ever allowed to do it on my own… My mom made me read stuff on my own and try to get the answers by myself. However, I had gotten lazy and use to cheating so whenever my mom would leave for work, I would go to the back of the book and coppy the answers 😝 Then my mom would come home and say, “You better not be cheating.” 🤣🤣🤣 I was.

Throughout the 1st year of homeschool, I realize how insanely quiet it is with everyone gone to work and me by myself trying to fight the temptation to cheat. I learned to talk to myself 😭🤨😝🤣 Yep. I was my own companion and I would sit at the piano every chance, talk to myself about what song I wanted to write next or sneak to watch MTV. My Christian mother was very against mtv but back then it was more about music videos than it is now. I just wanted to listen to music. Eventually my Uncle Sam needs a babysitter because he has a boat load of kids and I would go babysit for weeks at a time. I practically lived at my uncle’s house when I was 14.

At 15, I’m now technically a 9th grader and we move into my grandma’s house to take care of her because she’s diagnosed with dementia. Everyone has to work so that leaves me with her all day. I still helped my Uncle Sam out when I could and now my brother needs me to help with his kids too. I pretty much raised my bro’s kids!!!! 7 years my grandma lived and I was with her alllllll the time. My entire teen life was devoted to her and my bro’s kids. School was pushed on to the back burner and I pretty much gave up on my education. I never stopped learning music though. I continued to write music daily. I spent many many days changing diapers, making lunch, getting my grandma’s medicine for her and writing songs. That’s all I did with my life for so long. I did not take care of my own needs. They were completely pushed onto the back burner.

When I’m turning 18, I go for my GED and take adult classes at night but it seems too hard. I give up again 😭 Then I got my 1st boyfriend, Stewart who had also dropped out of school and never got his GED. Together we went to night classes and he helped me with my math 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 He passed before I did but then we graduated together with all these 50/60 year old adults LOL 🤣🤣🤣 I never dreamt that was how my life would turn out and I STILL felt stupid. I had never learned how to drive a car, I was too scared 🥺 I had to dump Stewart because he refused to work ever and was taking advantage of my parents 💔

Being home all day to take care of everyone, made it impossible to date and that’s why all of my boyfriends were from the internet. It made it EXTREMELY easy to date emotionally unavailable men because they can lie so easy over text and I was so incredibly lonely and insecure. I had no confidence and felt totally invisible every day of my life. To be “seen” by anybody was a big deal to me. Also, some celebrities would acknowledge song covers of mine or even songs I wrote. I never took that as “success”. I never felt good about myself. I continued to put myself down….

I never would even attempt to learn to drive a car till I was 27 and met my husband. He was the 1st person to give me any confidence to try!! I would get frustrated when I would make a mistake on the road and shout “I’m just too stupid!” 😓😓😓 BUT my sweet husband would get mad and yell back “You can’t say that about yourself!!!!!” ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 wow I do give him all the credit for helping me learn to drive. He was with me when I passed my drivers test and I ran out to him with my papers and shouted “I PASSED!!!!” ahhh man that didn’t stop there though. The 1st time I have to drive myself to the grocery store after we’re married, I’m pacing the floor with so much anxiety worried I’m not gonna be able to do it. I had to pray and talk myself into doing it.

For the most part, I have come to realize that people will label you and project their own limits and fears on you. You can wear those labels OR you can gradually work to break free from that. One baby step at a time. I use to get so overwhelmed with life and have these suicide attacks, just these outburst of hysteria where I’m feeling life is way too hard on me, I’m overly sad from being betrayed by Cody and Andrew, plus Jake always coming around and being critical too “as my good friend who wants what’s best for me”. I took a lot of hits!! My mom would always pray for me, calm me down and talk me off the ledge. She knew I struggled but she didn’t know how bad it was. I wouldn’t tell her about my online boyfriends because it’s embarrassing and shameful. I was sending my nudes online to these men and Jake posted them on twitter and facebook. I often worry my photos are still floating around out there 😓💔 but it’s my own fault!! I can’t take it back.

Today, I am still fighting against the “old me” and the lies I endured all my life. I WILL overcome all of it but probably not all at once. It’s always one day at a time ❤️‍🩹🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻