#i love Knoxville for loving Steve-O enough to get him help

[stratossphere]

cheater cheater pt. 4 | j.k

you and johnny are getting better. not perfect, but better. and you know better means you just can’t stay away. (pt 1) (pt 2) (pt 3)

warnings: smut, oral (fem. receiving), a tiny hint at drunk driving, reader is a smoker, fluff :)

word count: 8.2k

a/n: the last part…

taglist: @asskickedbygirl @kristinee @lizey-thornberry @faceache111 @brandons-wife

— —

Mark it in the pages, everyone. You, Y/n Y/l/n, were having a good time for the first night in what felt like months. Things had been…slowly…getting better with Johnny, and tonight you were actually getting along.

You were out with all of the crew, as you usually were, but what made being around everyone different this time was that you and Johnny had been slowly working towards getting better, so there was no animosity to tinge the night so far. No more screaming matches, no more angry sex and horrible insults, and no more…other people. You had spent the last three weeks or so doing exactly what you’d promised to do, and it was actually going pretty well.

So yeah. Not perfect, but not bad, either. Johnny was actually somewhere else in the club everyone had agreed to meet at, and you hadn’t actually gotten to talk to him, but your last ‘date’ had ended on a good note, so you weren’t exactly worried.

In fact, you were having the time of your life with your friends.

"Jennifer Aniston!" Steve-O called out the next celebrity in your game of Bang or Rob, and then put his hand to his chest. "Bang. I met her. She's nice."

"Also met her, but rob. Do you know the kind of cash flow she's sitting on? I could buy myself a fucking mansion with that." You scoffed, sipping out of your liquor bomb drink as you spoke.

"I would bang. Blondes are like, the thing, man." Dave said, chuckling to himself as the liquor completely invaded his senses. Ryan put a hand over his heart and let out a girly hum.

"Aww, that's so sweet. I knew there was a reason God made me blond." He crooned. In that moment, your large indulgence on liquor got the better of you, and you laughed hard. What were you supposed to do? Ryan was literally the world's funniest person, and it only got worse once you stopped being sober.

However, your laughter was cut short out of surprise, because suddenly a familiar set of hands was slapping down on the table in between you and Ryan, and then Johnny Knoxville himself was leaning into them as he looked over all of us at the table.

"Sup, losers?" He said happily, a wide grin on his face as he leaned so far against the table that his head was almost level with the rest of you. “I need to talk to Y/n.”

“We’re in the middle of something. Go away.” Steve-O complained, waving Johnny off and reaching right across to drink out of your drink. You groaned and snatched the cup out of his hand before he could put his gross mouth on it, setting it over by Ryan and then starting to get out of your seat because you knew that Johnny wouldn’t give up pestering you until you followed his request.

“Be right back. We’re doing guys next.” You said, jabbing a finger at all of them before you turned to your own lovely attention-whore and dragged him away from the table. "Can I help you?"

You waited until you were sure that you were far enough away from everyone else that you knew before speaking, because you really had no idea what he was going to say. He looked unbothered, his eyes not leaving yours and his smile not faltering as your iron grip on his arm kept him in place.

"Let me buy you a drink." He offered, his smile softening a little bit as he visually tried to relax for your amusement. You paused, knowing he was just trying to get him to yourself, before nodding because one drink wouldn’t hurt.

"Fine. But only one." You warned, caving into his offer and following him towards the bar. Johnny snickered.

“Don’t get too excited.” He teased, his hand finding your lower back to guide you through groups of people to get to the club bar that was centered in the room. Once you made it to the bar, you both sat down on stools to wait for the bartender surrounded by swarms of people, and you raised an eyebrow.

“You know, you could’ve just joined our booth. You didn’t have to drag me away from everyone else.” He had a bad habit of trying to hog your attention every chance he could possibly get. He shrugged.

“They never shut the fuck up. I want you to talk to me.” God. It wasn’t like he was even trying to be subtle. You bit back amusement.

"So you miss me." You summed up, drumming your fingers against your chin where it rested in your palm as you looked at him. It was so evident in the way his eyes wouldn't leave you. When he spluttered, you shook your head and smiled just a little bit. "I don't mind if you do, PJ."

"Of course I fucking miss you. I always miss you." There it was. Just as you were going to try and respond to that with some poise, the bartender reached the both of you for your orders. He used that as his escape from the conversation.

"Rum and coke, please." Johnny gave her one of those wide smiles, and you soured at the way she winked back at him before she slowly turned to you. Johnny didn't seem to pay attention, his eyes glued to you as you ordered after him.

"Same for me." You didn’t want to make it obvious that you still didn’t like the prospect of other women flirting with Johnny, but he needed a wake up call at some point. “She your type?”

“You’re my type.” He replied easily, eyeing you pointedly as he turned completely away from where the bartender was still standing within earshot of you. You almost laughed at that, rolling your eyes.

“I don’t know if I wanna be your type.” You teased, referencing the way his flirting game was always turned up to 11. He winked at you.

"You be whatever you wanna be, babydoll. I'm just along for the ride." Yeah, he had definitely been drinking. He never said anything that douchey when he was sober. You laughed and ran a hand over your face.

"Knox. Shut up and drink." You groaned, motioning to the glass that the bartender had just slid towards him. Yours was nowhere in sight, and you could feel yourself getting irritated towards the bartender. It only got worse when you noticed pen on the napkin she slid after his drink. A phone number.

"Well, would you look at that. Maybe I'll get to find the Ville to my Y/n." He said cockily, waving his napkin at you with an instigating smirk on his face. You tensed slightly at that, because up until now he’d been in about the opposite of a joking mood about that whole situation, before biting the inside of your cheek.

"For someone who wants to make up and fix things, you sure aren't acting like it." You gave up on your attempts to skirt over your harsh feelings, instead meeting them head on with an unimpressed look on your face.

"What? You said to get over it, and when I get over things, I make jokes. And he’s a joke, so it works." And there he went, just proving your point further. You blew out a sigh, desperately wishing that you had remembered to snag your liquor bomb out of the booth before Johnny had convinced you to go to the bar. You weren't drunk enough for his bitterness.

"Stop." You said tightly just as the bartender slid your drink forward, taking a large sip of your drink to soften what could’ve been quickly turning into a fight.

“I’m kidding. Swear. I’ll stop.” Johnny said then, wiggling his eyebrows at you over the rim of his glass as he took a sip two times bigger than yours.

"That’s hilarious. I almost laughed that time.” You muttered, rolling your eyes as you watched him drink. He was clearly having a ball messing with you, and you were trying to will yourself to relax. “Glad you’re having so much fun.”

“You should be having fun, too.” He scoffed, and then you felt yourself jump a little bit when you felt his hand on your knee. Self control. Self control. Self control. “I know a few ways you could have some fun.”

“Yeah? Pray tell.” You tried to look unimpressed, but you found your eyes pulling strongly in the direction of his hand on your knee. It only got worse when his fingers started to skate higher.

“It might be a little…unsavory for where we’re at.” He said coyly, his eyes finding yours with a smirk pulling hard at his lips. You bit your tongue.

"I don't know. Sometimes I allow it. With certain people." You said offhandedly. Goddamnit. Your so called 'iron-resolve' was fucking pathetic. One genuine smile from him and you were ready to spread your legs open for him all over again. There went being patient.

"Well then you’re really gonna like what I’ve got." Just as the bartender leaned over the bar to check on you both, Johnny dipped his head towards you, his teeth finding the sensitive skin of your neck and sinking in softly. "Let me take you to the bathroom."

"PJ. Nuh uh." You pushed his head away from your neck, laughing like an idiot as you were met with lust-filled eyes. You ignored the bartender's sour look in favor of gazing curiously at him. "You seriously want to?"

"I need you, Y/n." He breathed, his hand finding my hip as his head dipped down lower so that you barely had any space between the two of you. You took one look at his parted lips and dilated pupils, then nodded in agreement. One step back was fine if it was two steps forward, right?

"Okay, let's go." You took his hand, abandoning your drinks on the bar-top as you pulled him along towards where you could see the bathrooms on the wall of the club. "Don’t tell anyone about this, okay?”

“No one fucking cares anyway.” Johnny brushed your worries off, pushing the single stall women’s bathroom open and quickly pulling the door shut behind you.

"I don't know..." You mumbled as he closed the door behind you, the twinge of guilt building up into your chest as his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. He swayed you, lips dipping back to your neck right over the spot where he had bit not two minutes earlier. "Someone definitely saw us come in here."

"Y/n." He broke away from your neck, gently taking your face in both hands and holding your gaze strongly. "You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Who cares what those assholes have to say about it, alright?"

Sometimes, in moments like these, the moments that had made you so angry at him before didn’t seem so bad. He could be so sweet. His reassuring words, his soft touches, everything. You sometimes wanted them permanently without consequence so badly.

"Okay." You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down and pull back into the moment you were currently in. Not exactly a completely romantic one, but one that appealed to you nonetheless. "Sorry."

"Don't say sorry. Just let me give you what you deserve." He said softly, his hand moving to push your hands apart where you were nervously picking at your nail beds. You looked up at him, smiling softly when you realized that you were just being stupid. Trying to hold standards that didn't exist just because you were tipsy.

His hands gently fell to your hips as he pulled you closer to him, his eyes calm and relaxed as he leaned down and kissed you softly. Familiar taste and familiar smell enveloped you, and you fisted your hands in the front of his Budweiser shirt to get him as close to you as he could go.

"You want me?" He broke your kiss to breathe softly into your ear, his wandering hands finding purchase in the back pockets of the Dickies that you had stolen from him once a long time ago and then had just never given back. You let out a shaky sigh.

"Fuck. Yeah." It felt like you were openly admitting it to yourself at that moment. You had thought that you’d be able to forget what it felt like to have Johnny's hands all over every inch of your body, but you were just lying to yourself. You could never forget, because nothing could ever compare.

"Good." He started on the belt that was holding your (his) pants up, his breath shaking in his throat as your hands slid under the hem of his shirt to touch his warm skin with your cold fingertips.

"Not in the bathroom—" You began when he suddenly dropped down to his knees on the ground in front of you once he had gotten your belt out of the loops, wincing at the thought of how dirty the bathroom floor probably was. The pants immediately sagged low on your hips without the assistance of your belt, and he tutted.

"Yes in the bathroom. I need it." He was half demanding and half pleading with you as he loosely hooked his fingers in the waist of your pants and pulled them the rest of the way down your legs. He then raised his eyebrows and slowly looked up to you after getting a look at the lacy thong you were wearing. "You planning on gettin' fucked or something?"

"Something like that." You said breathlessly as he took the fabric of your underwear between his teeth; that cheeky, shit-eating grin on his face as he began to slowly pull them down your thighs. "Okay, showboat. Quit fucking drawing it out."

"Feisty." He quickly used his hand to pull your thong the rest of the way off, and you frowned momentarily when you noticed that he was shoving the thin material into his back pocket. Before you could open your mouth again to voice a complaint, however, his hand was coaxing one of your legs over his shoulder, and then his mouth was on your clit with wide, open-mouthed tonguing kisses.

"Oh, fuck." You were no longer consciously aware of the fact that you were trying to remain subtle, and your head fell back as your fingers laced their way into his hair. "Fuck, PJ."

He hummed, his hand pushing you closer as he swiped his tongue through your pussy over and over again, a sucking sound coming rhythmically from the movements of his tongue. He had a hand splayed out over your thigh, and your hand unconsciously fell down to his, his fingers lacing together with yours so that he was holding your hand while he sucked on your clit.

Way to keep a distance.

You knew you were probably pulling on his hair a little too hard, and you could hear the whimpers and gasps that came from his mouth even with it being occupied, but every swipe of his tongue over your already-sensitive clit had sharp spikes of pleasure shooting through your stomach, and you couldn't help yourself. If you were making a mistake, might as well make the most of it.

"Fuck, I love your pussy. Could eat this all fuckin' night." Johnny gasped in a momentary break for air, his hand squeezing yours even tighter as he gazed happily up at you with shining lips.

"Keep going. Please." You said breathlessly, feeling unsteady and dizzy with the absence of his touch. He really did have you whipped. You could feel a whine building in your throat seconds before he was pressing his mouth back in your pussy, satiating the need that was threatening to consume you and pulling a high moan from your lips.

The sight of Johnny's head between your legs in the bathroom mirror was only pushing you further, and you could feel your orgasm threatening to hit you as you arched your back even further back against the counter while you applied pressure to his head with the hand in his hair.

"Don't stop." You gasped as if you would've been able to pry him away if you’d tried, rolling your hips up towards his mouth. His free hand moved to keep your hips in place, and then with a few harsh flicks of his tongue you were cumming, head dropping back as you let out a sound that was way too loud to be kept within the confines of the small bathroom.

As always, Johnny didn't stop licking and sucking until you were forcibly pushing his head from your pussy, overworked and overstimulated as you pulled a shaky leg from his shoulder. Reality then came crashing in on you over what you had just let him do and where you had let him do it, and the only thing in the room to soothe you was the pleased, fucked-out look on Johnny's face as he wiped his mouth.

"God, you look so fuckin' gorgeous." He breathed as his cheek fell to your thigh, his hand still partially holding you up as you took big, heavy gasps of air into your lungs in an attempt to ground yourself. A brisque smile fell onto your lips momentarily, just long enough to indulge him. However, he seemed to catch on to your hesitancy, and suddenly he was standing up. His mouth was so close to yours that you could practically smell what he had just been doing.

"Look at me." The demand in his voice made your heart jump, and despite the sudden pull of his fingers on your chin, your eyes raised to his slowly. He stared directly at you. "Open your mouth."

It wasn't a familiar request, but the strength of his voice and your craving for his attention after being touched so carefully coaxed you into doing as he asked, eyes slightly uncertain as you stuck your tongue out a little. And then, in a moment that you knew was going to be ingrained into your brain for the foreseeable future, he spat right into your mouth.

"You taste your fucking pussy on my breath?" The look in his eyes demanded a response, and you slowly nodded, swallowing down his spit with your free hand bunching in the hem of his t-shirt. He leaned in even closer. "That's the only place you should be tasting it. You're fucking me, you understand?"

Words could not describe the dizzy pleasure rushing through your brain at the harsh tone of his voice. He could've said anything and you still would've been nodding along like you were now. He pressed his lips to yours, tongue barely swiping into your mouth before he was breaking away.

"Good. Now get dressed and come back out." And then that fucker slipped right out of the bathroom, leaving you pants-less and in shock as you stared at the door he had closed behind himself.

"Fucking Knoxville." You muttered to yourself, shaking your head to clear your thoughts a little bit as you picked up your pants. And now you had agreed to only fuck him. Awesome.

—

That was the last thing Johnny had said to you not ten minutes before, and ever since then, you’d been trying your best to avoid him. You didn’t know how you felt about the things he’d said to you throughout the night, and you definitely weren't sure about the fact that you were feeling a lot more partial to him than you had been a week ago.

Unfortunately for you, if you let Johnny Knoxville put his hand in your pants, there was a good chance he was going to follow you around like a lovesick puppy with attachment issues until you forcibly kicked him away. Which is why, while you were trying to both listen to and tell stories with Dave at the club couch that you had moved to sit on, Johnny was basically up your ass.

First it started with him purposely acknowledging Pontius' invite for conversation right behind you so that he could not-so-inconspicuously rest his hand right behind your head on the back of the couch, which Dave noticed just as fast as you did and sent you a look that was both judgmental and amused. Then it escalated when Johnny sat down directly next to you.

"PJ." You spoke in a warning tone as his arm knocked into yours, and you felt a deep shoot of irritation run through you when he completely ignored you and continued to animatedly talk to Pontius about the long, drawn-out way that he had come up with the stunt that you were all currently in the process of getting set up for in LA.

"You guys are still broken up, aren't you?" Dave didn't sound sure of himself as he asked, and you rolled your eyes. Not everyone in the crew knew that you and Johnny were still…doing what you were doing, although you were sure some of your friends had begun to suspect you. Thankfully you had gotten better at hiding it, and this time you hadn't even left any hickeys on each other.

"Yep. And yet here he is." You grumbled, nodding your head to the side in Johnny's direction. Usually this kind of up-close-and-personal behavior would signify that Johnny had been through a few too many tequila shots, but you knew that there were other reasons behind his clinginess tonight. "He's trying to get fucking attention."

"Doesn't he have a girlfriend?" Once again, Dave did not sound sure of himself on how much that really mattered. If only he knew the half of it. You pursed your lips, taking a long sip of your drink and pondering whether you had enough energy to get up and move.

"Apparently not anymore." It had been three weeks since Johnny had broken up with Mandy. Three long weeks of getting over some of the biggest fights of your lives and slowly repairing the relationship that had been tinged by the never ending drama during your breakup. "He probably fucking annoyed her into leaving like he's doing right now."

Annoyed her in one way, alright.

"Y/n, you are one of my best friends, and I love spending time with you, but I need to be like, four more drinks in before I start listening to this shit." After a second of pause, Dave spoke honestly to you, and although you really didn't want him to leave you with an overly-clingy Johnny, which he was currently getting up to do, you couldn't help but laugh.

"Fine. But take Pontius with you so that I can ream his ass into leaving me alone." You spoke a little quieter then just in case Johnny could hear you over his own rambling, motioning over to where Pontius was kneeled right on the edge of the long couch by him. "And grab me a beer, too."

Just like you thought, as soon as Johnny didn't have Chris' attention anymore, he was immediately stretching his arm over the back of the couch so that it was mere inches from being wrapped around your shoulders before he was turning in your direction. He was met by your bitter glare, which he took in head-on.

"What's wrong with you?" There was no snark in his tone, but you could tell that the allusion was there. You couldn't exactly blame him, because you knew perfectly well that you looked miserable, but god be damned if you weren't going to blame him anyway. You weren't quite done being mad at him, after all.

"Do you have to sit right next to me? You're touching me." You complained, shooting a dirty look at the lack of space between you. He didn't move, which didn't surprise you at all, just let a hint of a grin ghost his lips.

"Did you get rid of everyone on purpose, or are you just scaring people away with that look on your face?" He retorted, raising his eyebrows in question over the rims of his JK monikered sunglasses. You just stared at him, trying to hold yourself back from snapping something back.

"Getting me a drink and being scared off are two different things. Just like making conversation and pestering." You were speaking pointedly, and you made sure that he could tell by the look on your face. He blew his breath out in an almost-whistle, shaking his head.

"You wanna make conversation? I'll make conversation." You could tell that you were starting to get to him, and you had to bite back a grin at the fact. Usually he was pretty easy-going, and your attitude did nothing if not encourage him more, but today he was evidently off his game. He wasn’t quite done being mad at you, either. Baby steps. "You wanna hear the story I was telling Chris?"

"Hell n—"

"It actually involves you. So you know how you learned how to do that move where you kick someone and knock them out just in case we did a bit on it?" Great. It involved you. That was always nice. When you gave up on ignoring him and just nodded along, he continued. "I wanted all the guys to get that done to them to see who takes it best, but I know you're busy tomorrow so I found a different chick that can do the same thing. You know, because it's funnier to have a bunch of guys get knocked out by a girl."

"Why are you setting up before the actual day if it's not a set stunt?" You could get knocked out anywhere in the world. You didn't need a set for that. You knew you were just digging yourself into a hole by asking questions, as he would definitely answer by tenfold, but you were kind of in a tough position considering he was about three inches away from you. And you weren't completely against the fact that you could smell the scent of his sweet cologne due to how close he was to you.

"Because I want them to fall off a ledge and onto a catch bag when they go down." He said it like it was obvious. Sometimes you wondered if something was a little not right in his head. "God, I wish you could be there tomorrow. You could've done those cinematic falling shots. You know, you could always just—"

"Don't ask me to come in. It’s my one day off." You had been working non-stop for close to two months now, and you were starting to get a little burnt out. It also didn’t help that you knew you’d be deathly hungover by the time morning came. Plus, he didn't really care about your falling shots. He just wanted you to be there so that you were the one doing the kicking.

"Even if I did come in, I wouldn't get any shots, because you'd want me to kick."

"You just look so much better on camera." You were supposed to be ‘gently leading back into things’, but he could say things like that. He was just full of good stuff tonight. You raised an eyebrow, shaking your head.

"Funny." You were refraining from making any comments on that. He seemed to be in too much of a good mood for things to genuinely bother him, but you didn't want to chance it. You were honestly enjoying his company (for once) too much to ruin it.

"What? Your face is cinematically pleasing." He protested, reaching out to pat your knee with a satisfied look at his own compliment. You snorted.

"Cinematically pleasing. That's an interesting compliment." You muttered, grinning despite your best intentions. He really was funny, whether on purpose or not. "PJ, you don't care about being cinematically pleasing. You just want it to look like it hurts."

"But I care about you caring about it." He insisted. You then noticed that he had never taken his hand off of your knee after he'd first touched it, and you silently wondered if he was even talking to you past trying to get in your pants for the second time in an hour. "You know, we should really buy you one of those fancy still shot cameras. You take great fuckin' pictures. I think you’re even better than Kosick."

"You're being real nice. I thought you were mad at me." You said softly. His hand hadn't moved up any further, but you knew it wanted to. Especially because he was pointing out things that he never even made a point to mention before.

"Can’t be mad at you when you look as good as you do, dollface." As he said that, you scoffed with a badly-suppressed grin, because he was really something else, but he clearly was oblivious, because he continued to talk. "Anyway, I think the next stunt we're gonna set up is—"

Dave and Pontius never came back. Which meant, in turn, you were left with the babbling wonder for the unforeseeable future, during which he didn't shut up for more than a breath before continuing into whatever asinine topic he could think of next. The only time he'd left you alone was to get up and get the both of you more drinks, but he'd been back with a bottle of vodka before you could make an escape.

By the time you could see your friends progressing into drunk, doing-stupid-things territory, it felt like your mind was melting. You and Johnny were still sitting on the couch, but you were now turned sideways so that you were facing him directly with your legs crossed and your face resting in both hands as you stared dead-ahead in his general direction. You were starting to think that you were going to have to toughen up and escape for home. You weren’t sure you were going to be able to deal with this any longer.

"...and I didn't hate it, per se, but I didn't really like it, either. I mean, it was better with you, but I haven't done it since." He was now on the topic of acid since he'd seen someone selling it in the corner of the club, and he was telling you things you already knew. Like he said, you’d seen him on acid a few times. "Did I ever tell you about the time that I thought you were coming to kill me when we took acid?"

Alright. Enough.

"PJ. Honey." You took the one of his hands that wasn't holding the vodka bottle in yours, evidently startling him out of continuing his story as his gaze steadied on yours. You shook your head. "No more stories."

"Oh, Jesus. I've been talkin' your ear off." He seemed to suddenly realize how long you’d been sitting there and how much more crowded it had gotten since you’d arrived pretty early in the night. You nodded slowly, stifling a yawn.

"I gotta hand it to you. You really know how to keep me from getting out of control in your own, special way." You muttered, leaning your head to the side so that you could rest it against the back of the couch. "And you don't have to tell me about when you thought I was going to kill you when you were on acid. I remember when that happened. You freaked out and rolled yourself out of bed."

"Why didn't you tell me to shut up sooner?" He asked, as if the thought of him rambling until you died actually bothered him. You let go of his hand, reaching into the pocket of your sweatshirt until you found your cigarettes and lighter before pulling them out.

"I was waiting for Dave to come back with my beer." That was a lie, and he knew it, but it was easier than admitting that you liked the sound of his voice. You let smoke pour out of your nose as you lit your cigarette with your head still resting against the couch, looking up at him with tipsy interest. He tsked, reaching out and brushing his thumb over your cheek.

"I tired you out, didn't I?" He asked, speaking softer now as your eyes closed slightly to his touch. Too much vodka and not enough self control.

"Yep." You mumbled, leaning your face completely into his palm and letting out a soft sigh. You could've fallen asleep right there if you’d put some effort in.

"You gonna go home?" He sounded slightly dejected, and you felt your heart ache. Maybe you wouldn't leave alone. Maybe. His hand was still on your cheek, and he was wearing one of your favorite shirts on him.

"Yep." You said again, taking your cigarette out of your mouth and lifting your head up off the couch to look him seriously in the eyes. "I'll take you home with me if you kiss me."

Okay. Zero self control. But he’d been sweet lately, and you felt good about tonight. His lips parted slightly in surprise, and then he was grinning.

"Oh, that's what we're doing now?" He chuckled, his eyes slowly moving down and then dragging back up in a look that was close to eating you alive. He then leaned in, the hand on your cheek moving to grip your chin before he was pressing an open-mouthed kiss to your lips. It was a lot sloppier than you were anticipating, but you’d both been pretty stringent with kissing up until then, so it was barely a second before you were reciprocating with equal effort.

Making out in the middle of a crowded club when it was pretty common knowledge that you weren't together probably wasn't the smartest idea, but honestly, who gave a fuck. If no one was ever going to pull you aside and be real like good friends were supposed to when you were making bad decisions, then you were just going to keep making them in the form of your all time favorite bad decision. Whose name happened to start with a J. And who was slowly working towards turning himself into a…neutral decision.

"Whew. Straight vodka." He said as he broke away from the kiss, making a face. Clearly his tongue in your mouth had betrayed how much you’d been drinking throughout his night of storytelling, and you winced apologetically.

"Yeah. I think I drank too much." You admitted, looking down towards his spit-shined lips another time and then grinning in guilt when you saw that he was watching you. "Way too much."

"Well, now I guess I have to go back to your place, huh? Make sure you don't asphyxiate." He crooned, holding out a hand for you as he started to stand up. You snickered, getting on your feet and then immediately feeling the liquor hit you as you swayed violently. Never drink sitting down.

"Thanks, Knoxville. No hidden intentions there, I'm sure." You raised your eyebrows suspiciously at him, and he feigned an offended look as he extended his arm for you to hold onto with most of your weight.

"Knoxville? You were callin' me PJ a minute ago!" He protested as he basically held you up while you walked, holding one of your hands while you used the other one to take another drag off of your cigarette and shrugged.

"That's your name." You said through smoke, giving Dave a huge grin and a thumbs up as you passed him at the bar with Pontius and Bam. He threw a hand in the air, and you just made a kissing face before he was too far behind you for him to see you anymore. Bam looked even less impressed.

"Not with you, it's not." Johnny was clearly trying to pull you faster so that you’d stop making faces at your friends, and you leaned into his shoulder and groaned at the quickened pace. Your drunk stumbling was no match for his long strides.

"Okay, PJ." You rolled your eyes, almost dropping your cigarette when Johnny reached his arm around your shoulder with his hand still holding yours to pull you away from running into someone. You blinked when your head spun. "Whew. Why did you pick vodka?"

"You like vodka. Clearly." He explained, glancing to the side to give you a pointed look. You chuckled at that, knowing that was about the truest reason he could've given. Vodka and any other liquor, especially liquor bombs, were usually a horrible mix that had you hating your life for at least a day an a half, so you were already on a path towards destruction.

You didn't know if Johnny was even sober enough to drive, but you weren't sober enough to care, so you trailed right along after him until you were getting into his car, which was sloppily parked on the curb to the left of the club. You hadn't gotten a chance to say goodbye to anyone that you had come to the club with in the first place, which you knew you were going to get shit for when you came back to work in a few days, but you couldn't be bothered considering Johnny had been literally holding your hand with his arm around your shoulders.

"I love sleepovers." You hummed as he helped you into the passenger side, blowing him a kiss and silently wishing that he had brought the bottle of vodka with him.

"Yeah, that's all it's gonna be, Y/n/n. You are plastered." Johnny said seriously, reaching across you to buckle your seatbelt and then taking your cigarette butt from you and huffing in a small drag before tossing it into the road. You pouted.

"Then we have to at least snuggle.” When had you ever had a sense of pride and self-respect, anyway? He raised his eyebrows.

"You know, if you keep all of this up, I'm gonna forget some rules that we've been following, sweetheart." He hummed softly, giving you a pointed look before shutting your door and not giving you a chance to respond. You made a face as you watched him walk around to the driver's side, drunkenly wondering when the hell you had ever been ones to follow rules.

"I'm just drunk, Peej. Let me live my life." You groaned once he opened his door, leaning your head against the shoulder of his bucket seat and blinking slowly at him. He turned the car on, giving you an I'm well aware look before resting his arm next to you on the console and taking your hand again.

"Oh believe me, honey. I'm all for you living your life."

The drive home felt like forever. You were getting tired, but at the same time you wanted to keep the party going once you got back to your apartment. You couldn’t help but picture the sight of Johnny in your bed the entire ride, running your thumb over the top of his hand as you did so whilst staring intently out the windshield.

When you finally pulled into your parking lot, you had realized that there was no way you had enough energy to keep any type of party going. Too much vodka and a long work day had sucked everything out of you. Not to mention Johnny sucking a lot out of you in the club bathroom to add onto everything.

By the time you both got into your apartment, you were ready to just give up and collapse on the first surface that was comfortable enough for sleep. However, you didn't get the option, because Johnny had a grip on you that kept you on your feet and off the floor that was looking more and more comfortable by the second.

"I'm not ready to go to bed yet." You whined when he tried to lead you towards the stairs that would lead up to where your room was. You had spotted your living room, and suddenly you were picturing your makeout session at the club. He let out a disgruntled sigh, pausing and looking around before motioning to the couch.

"Whaddya want? To sit down?" He asked, looking down as you wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your cheek against his chest. Drunk you was definitely going to want to kick your own ass in the morning. Especially because Johnny had the innate ability to remember all of what you had been doing the morning after.

"Mhm." You wanted to kiss him. If he hadn't been too tall for you to kiss him without pulling him down you would've, but you settled instead for letting him gently help you down so that you were sitting on the couch before you pulled him down next to you. You really needed to quit drinking. "We could sleep down here."

"Y/n, I already told you, we–"

"Just kissing!" You begged before he could tell you once again that you had rules to follow or whatever. He tongued the inside of his cheek, looking down at you with a spark in his eyes that you had a feeling was amusement. It only got worse when you pulled yourself closer to him, one leg half over his and your hand fisted in his shirt. He raised an eyebrow at you.

"What the hell's gotten into you?" He mumbled as your free hand came up to cup his cheek, his eyes having a hard time making it past your lips by that point. It was still dark in your apartment due to the fact that you had neglected to turn any lights on other than the stove light that was always on, but you could still see the look on his face. You smiled coyly.

"I miss you. A lot. All the time." Yep. You were definitely going to want to kick your own ass in the morning. Usually this happened the other way around, and Johnny was the one drunkenly admitting how much he missed you. And usually you were the one saying–

"No you don't." Johnny's eyes were soft as he spoke, and you couldn't detect the hint of bitterness in his tone that you usually could hear whenever he spoke to you.

“I do. I was trying to keep it a secret.” You mumbled, moving your hand up to cup his cheek. It only took a second of his love-drunk look trained in your direction before you leaned forwards and closed the gap, pulling him in more by the collar of his shirt as your lips met.

It was a lot sloppier this time than before, as you were drunk and Johnny liked it sloppy, so your hands were in his hair before long as you got closer and closer to him with every push of your tongues together.

One of his hands moved to your hip under the hem of your shirt while the other one stayed on your back to keep you from leaning back too far, and you could feel your entire body heating up as you pulled on his hair slightly. You’d been doing your best to keep space between you as of late as a way to actually work on your relationship, and despite all of your best inhibitions, you had really missed this much intimacy with him. He was letting you touch him more than he had in over a month (and vice versa), and he just smelled so good. You really had no self control when it came to Johnny.

"Slow down." He broke your kiss, giving you a look as he pulled your hand away from where it had been starting to push under his shirt and towards the buckle of his belt. Always ruining your plans. "You are really persistent, sweetheart. You know that?"

"I just wanna be closer to you." You pouted, looking at him with helpless eyes and saliva-coated lips as he wiped his own mouth off with his thumb. He let out a sigh, that relaxed grin coming back onto his face as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and slowly guided you into his side. Exactly what you wanted.

"I know. I'm right here." He reassured you, running a hand over your hair and then pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Despite what people (yourself included) wanted to say about Johnny being immature and a little too carefree, he really did do a good job of taking care of you when you were drunk. You got really touchy when you’d had too much to drink, and he never complained. It probably had something to do with the fact that he was about ten times worse, but still. You appreciated what he was doing now as opposed to being dumped in your bed and left with a bucket like the rest of your friends would do.

"You're like, the best. I wish you could sleep over every night like you used to." You babbled against his shoulder, tracing your finger over the pattern of his shirt. He rubbed his hand up and down your arm, resting his cheek against your head.

"You'd get sick of me." He reasoned, watching the way you laced your fingers together with his where you’d dragged his free hand into your lap. You shook your head adamantly, looking back up to give him your most serious look before you kissed him again. And again. And again.

"No I won't. Stay here forever." You encouraged, nuzzling your face into his neck and then squeezing his hand before yawning. "I think I'm ready for bed."

"I'll carry you." He sighed, beginning to shift out of your steel grasp so that he could actually get off of the couch to pick you up. You didn't want to let him go, but you made the effort, forcing yourself to let him pull his hand away before opening your arms to him once he was standing.

You were then carried up the stairs and right into your room, Johnny taking the trip without a single problem in the pitch darkness due to how many times he had done it in the past.

He then helped you get undressed before you attempted (and failed) to do the same for him, ending up with you already curled up in bed while Johnny slowly stripped out of his clothes in the soft hue of the salt lamp you had left on due to being late for work that morning.

When he finally got into bed (and on his past pre-determined side, no less), you immediately enveloped yourself in him again, resting your head on his pillow with your arm thrown over his side as he wrapped both arms around you.

"Can I tell you something?" You asked after a little while of silence, tilting your head upwards slightly so that you could see his face. He let out a long sigh.

"Yes." He didn’t sound excited, but you were grateful that he was indulging you regardless. You paused for a second to gather your thoughts as you ran a finger up and down the muscles of his arm.

"I’m ready to be done. With waiting." You’d been ‘taking things slow’ for what felt like forever now, and you’d had enough of long talks and trying to put your feelings on a trial period. “I really miss you. And this.”

There was a king beat of silence before Johnny responded.

"Are you sure? I’ll wait as long as you want me to, sweetheart." He said quietly, kissing your cheek gently as he massaged your hip. You took a second before nodding to prove to him that you were actually using your brain to think and not just the alcohol level of your blood.

"I’m sure. I want you, and I want to be where we were." Every day that you had spent slowing yourself down and thinking out everything between you had been torture. Necessary, but torture. You had barely let yourself touch him at all, and it had been something that you would forever crave like the air you needed to breathe. “I trust you, PJ. And I still love you just as much as I did.”

Another beat of silence, and then Johnny was turning to basically wrap you in a bear hug with his weight half on top of you.

“God, I’ve been waiting for you to say that for so fuckin’ long. I’ve been done waitin’ for weeks.” He said happily, his voice a mumble against your neck as he let out a breath that sounded like he’d been holding it. “I love you. I never wanna lose you again.”

You were losing the battle to try to stay awake, and his body heat wasn't making it much better, but you wrapped your arms just as tightly around him, running your fingers through his flattened hair. A sense of peace that you had been unable to achieve over the turmoil that had been going back and forth between you for what had seemed like forever had slowly fallen over you, and you couldn’t help the full smile forming on your face.

"I'm glad you came back with me."

"Me too, baby." He sounded more content than you had heard from him in months, and you hugged him a little tighter. As long as you had him in your arms, you didn't care about anything. And it didn’t seem like you were going to have to worry about losing him again.

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

Gateway Drug

This all started when you asked your buddy Steve to pierce your tongue in the heat of the moment at a party. Now, you were introducing each other to things you never thought you’d indulge in.

Steve-O X Masc!Reader

(Fluff, Angst)

1.1k Words

Warnings: Highly suggestive content, VERY unsafe piercing practices, penetration metaphor, drug use, alcohol, makeouts, blood, corruption

An: Thank you so much for sending in your requests!! This fic was largely inspired by this AMAZING piece of fan art by @goldfish-trick, who you all should go and send SO MUCH LOVE because he is an incredible artist :) Anyways, hope you enjoy and keep sending in those requests! :D

You didn’t know how you were going to ask this, especially not while you were in that filthy bathroom, which was small enough without the two of you crowded in like sardines. Steve looked you up and down, trying to read the situation through drunk goggles, “What’s goin’ on, dude?” Now you were staring across at him standing nose to nose, so to get a little distance and clear your head, you took a seat on the countertop, leaning against the broken mirror behind you. Swallowing hard, the sounds of the party you pulled him away from were buzzing just outside the door, almost as loud as the sound of your own heartbeat in your ears as you cleared your throat, “Do you think you could uh, like- help me pierce my tongue?”

“Oh shit….Really?” Steve cracked a grin in disbelief at your stammered request- of all people, he didn’t expect this shit from you. Maybe Knoxville, more likely Bam or something- but you? You were considered the goody-two-shoes of the Jackass crew, which is admittedly kind of an oxymoron, but it was true. You drank, but you didn't get shitfaced every night, and sure you smoked a little pot here and there, but you never really got into the hard shit like everyone else. “Yeah- I mean,” raking a hand through your sweat soaked hair, you turned to the medicine cabinet that sat over the toilet, “I thought you’d have the stuff, y’know?” He had his fair share of body mods with all his tattoos, not to mention the fact you heard that after Chris stopped doing tattoos in exchange for crashing on peoples’ couches back in the day, Steve ended up in possession of his equipment (which you also knew included a few piercing needles).

But there was something really cute about the way you asked him, acting all shy about it, so he nodded, “Yeah, I gotcha.” Under the low light, it was hard to see the way Steve’s grin widened a little as he rummaged through the disorganized medicine cabinet. Something he really couldn’t place about this setup thrilled him- it’s the same feeling you get when you stick a knife in a new jar of peanut butter, like he was taking something untouched and tainting it. Well, more accurately, he was taking something untouched and putting a fourteen gauge hole in it. While Steve was busy preparing the hopefully sterile needle, you leaned over and locked the bathroom door with trembling hands.

Steve was holding the needle like a cigarette, between his middle and forefinger, a fact you only noticed because you were trying to stare anywhere but at him as he was putting the clamp from the piercing kit on your tongue. Despite how intimate this whole situation was, Steve maintained his cool, almost studying you- the nervous laughter, the traces of fear in your eyes. When you looked back at him, he couldn’t get over those eyes of yours, the kind you’d see on a cartoon deer. He had to ask- give you one last out, “Y’know this is gonna hurt, right?” You would have given him an affirmative but with a needle hovering over your tongue, you speak only in vowels. Nobody was there. Nobody would be there to see this.

The actual piercing part was over fast- stick the needle through, put the jewelry in, done, but that was the last thing on either of your minds. Maybe it was the physical proximity or the idea of having his fingers all in another dude’s mouth, but Steve was going through so many realizations in that bathroom with you. One of them was that you were kinda cute for a guy. Maybe it was the fact you had lips like Angelina Jolie or the way your eyes hadn’t left his the whole time he was doing it. Maybe this was one of those gateway drug things- first a tongue piercing, next you’re getting yourself kicked out of bars at three am together, and then you’re at a party, asking him for help doing your first line. This could be the start of something disgusting, and he couldn’t be happier. Steve only just figured out why he liked this so much: there was satisfaction to be found in fouling up this thing he saw as clean. Yeah, he thought you were hot, but he never thought he’d be into the whole pretty boy thing. Hell, he never thought he could be into a dude in that way in the first place, but you might have just changed his mind. In his eyes, you were enough like a chick that he could be into you.

After the clamps came off and you had a chance to relax your jaw, Steve got your attention when he pressed a thumb against your bottom lip, his eyes all half lidded with this sleazy look plastered on his face, “Hey- I wanna see how it looks.” So you opened your mouth a little. Nearly chest to chest with him, literal inches apart. It felt vulnerable. Maybe that’s what possessed you to close that space between you, and that quickly, you were kissing a dude. You were there, swapping spit with a guy like it was nothing and the most unbelievable part of everything that happened was that you really enjoyed it. In that bathroom, only a thin layer of wall board away from the rest of the party and anyone’s prying eyes were two bros, finding out what the inside of another man’s mouth tasted like. Blood, mostly.

And there was some touching too- Steve’s tattooed hands on your chest, your neck, your shoulders, feeling warm and all sorts of nice. Not like how girl hands feel, but good- maybe better. So you tried to do what he was doing, lean into him, press yourself against whatever body part of his was nearest to you. It was getting kind of heated, y’know? And you weren’t thinking, getting swept up in the moment and shit, so you just thought ‘fuck it’ and reached to undo the belt of his cargo shorts. As if it was on instinct, he flinched away from your touch and broke the kiss, but before you could get to feeling that you were the idiot who fucked up the moment, he chuckled, a smirk spreading across his kiss sore lips, “Sorry, dude. I’ve gotten so many dick punches- I'm all jumpy an’ shit.” And you laughed, standing there in that bathroom with the first guy you kissed.

[supermightyglue]

omgg im so obsessed with your jackass oc’s. i dont have a specific headcanon request but could you write more about a main cast girl?

yesssss yes !! & thank u sm that means the world <3 i have many more ideas and am gonna post actual headcanons and stuff but for now take this very random and very specific shit

her nickname is pissbaby. i have said it before but i must say it again so everyone is aware. she got it growing up and tbh there isn’t a real reason for it other than the fact that she has pissed herself a few times

went to the met gala with knox (was def invited before he was tho)

braids pontius’ hair a lot. does his hair in general. she’s good with hair styling nd even cuts her own

was the one to receive the off road tattoo

is always paired with knox (and tremaine sometimes) for press shit

has a lot of modeling/movie offers but tbh she just wants to skate and do stunts and travel and hang out with her guys

ik i said she cant cook but i changed my mind. cooking is lowkey her love language. she’s a vegetarian but doesn’t mind cooking meat if someone wants it. a long day filming? invites everyone over and cooks for them.

doesnt cook for herself tho. the queen of struggle meals. buys a lot of cereal

also always let’s ppl crash at her place. pontius is there a lot cuz the whole living in his van situation. he and steve were in her (iconic) cribz ep

present for most of the wildboyz trips even if she didn’t appear in the episode. she loves animals and traveling and learning about other cultures so it was like heaven for her

CRAZY stupid .. like, almost as bad as knoxville. she somehow was able to get in the bullpen and it scared the shit out of everyone (especially steve o)

honestly she doesn’t like fucking with animals and doesn’t wanna do anything to hurt them. she feels bad for certain things they do and regrets stressing them out

and she can be really sweet, but with animals? she is practically a different person. she turns into such a softie

has a few doggies. all rescues and with disabilities because she gets sad when people don’t want them

probably closest to the wildboyz, especially pontius. but knox too, and dunn <3

super fond of preston too. he’s so sweet and she can’t help but adore him

ppl swear either chris or pj is her soulmate (myself included nd i cant decide who pls help me)

always down for skate sessions

is sponsored by powell peralta (and is kinda at war with bam because he thinks his element sponsorship is better)

very fashionable. an it girl. (again, i picture her as devon aoki)

super scrappy and will fight a grown man

she knows how to fall because she’s a skater but she also has gotten some GNARLY injuries. usually to her head. always has bruises

knows first aid and she isn’t a medic obv but she has been SUPER helpful in certain situations

literally unable to drive, and yet, she drove for part of the gumball rally .. she managed to genuinely scare the guys. she doesn’t have her license for a reason.

one of those ppl who genuinely does not need deodorant but unfortunately the smell of jackass clings to her

has a lot of girl friends. she is a girl supremacist. we don’t blame her.

she can be really mean sometimes but most of it is on accident. she just doesn’t have a filter. the guys don’t really care tho, she fits in

ska music enthusiast. and a deadhead

so she doesn’t puke and doesn’t get grossed out HOWEVER she refuses to take part in that yucky shit. hell no. that’s what crosses the line.

once the guys collected a cup of their mixed sweat and poured it on her and she has never been so mad. like, she gets mad, she has a temper, but she lost her shit in a way that she never has before. made them turn off the camera. knoxville was the one to pour it—no one else was brave enough. tremaine was even on the fence about it. she ended up breaking knox’s nose. he was a good sport about it. they didn’t fuck with her in that way ever again

she can be kinda mean but it’s usually on accident cuz she has no filter. but for the most part the guys don’t give a fuck and it’s funny

interviewers and paps can be really really rude and sexist and the guys can’t help but get pissed and say stuff because they love her. BUT they also know that no one is better at defending her than she is. don’t fuck with her. ever. she will practically end someone’s career. she does not give a shit

[therealpontius]

Money! Money! Money!

I wrote this while being overly stressed with exams so that’s why the readers so moody sorry 🤞

Plot: you just cant get a break can you?…

Warnings: stress/choking/angst

You hadnt seen you boyfriend for while due to stressfull work, he had been back at his house for once to give you more room for equipment.

It was a scorching day and your schedule was filled with different scenes to film. Jeff liked your camera work the best so always expected you to film more than the rest.

You hadnt had the time to go see chris, bam screaming your name so he could film a couple of skate tricks that would most definitely not make it to the movie but he insisted you done them so he could try show ofd to the medic he had a huge crush on. After ten falls and seven different tricks you got impatient and just walked away, hearing him scream your name behind you and jeff shouting you over at the same time. On your walk over to jeff ehren accidentally ran into you making you drop your camera. "Fuck!" You gasped, picking up your camera as quick as it fell. Ehren had gone and hadnt even said sorry but you couldnt care, jeff still screamed for your name.

"What?!" You groaned finally reaching him "daves got a poop shot to film!" He groaned back, pointing towards dave who squatted over an empty icecream tub. "Hey y/n!" You hear chris shout from abit away, you choose to ignore him knowing that if you draw attention to him he wont leave your side and you really needed space to concentrate. "RECORDING IN THREE... TWO..." jeff called out, giving you enough time to get into focus. "Im dave england and this is..." he continued to shit into the tub, you covering you mouth to drown out your dry heaving noises "... chocolate icecream!" "Cut!" Some of the boys laugh but you just take a deep breath while you could "KNOXVILLE?" Jeff screams beside you breaking you away from your two second mediation. "WHAT?" "GET OVER HERE" the lanky man ran over with a drone.

"Y/n, take some pictures for the photo album with knoxville" jeff said walking away. You hold your hand up to your face and pinch the top of your nose, trying to drown out your stress “need a break doll?” “Yeah but like… ugh it doesnt matter just start the poses” “yes sir!” He smiles, saluting down to you. Johnny does poses such as lift his shirt up and pout as you just spammed the photo button just hoping for the best “hey pontius! Get over here and get some snaps, your little ladys photoing me right now!”

Silently you sigh, you loved chris so much and you loved how clingy he got but it was moments like theses you REALLY didnt need him clinging off you back.

“Were those even words?” You mutter under your breath “yes doll, they were words” johnny mutters back to you as if to say ‘i caught you’. “Hey sweetheart! Mind if i join?” Chris says, kissing your cheek from behind “no no not at all just be quick before jeff starts ordering me around again” you smile, catching his eye “yes ma’am”. Both the men pose together laughing their heads off when johnny put his tongue between his fingers like children. “Y/N?” You hear jeff scream. “Fuck sake, sorry boys ill catch up later” you turn round and swiftly start walking away from them towards the sound of your name. “Not so fast! Im coming with!” Chris says, wrapping his arm around your shoulder “chris baby im really just up to my eyes right now” “thats why im here to help!” Chris looked down at you with a loving smile like he was really going to try and not hold you back. “Right…”

“What took you so long? Steve-os going to recreate the fish scene from the series. A few others tried to film it but never got it i believe you can get it. Oh hey chris” jeff says, walking over to spike. “O’ get in frame its a busy day” you say sternly, fixing up your tripod “yes sir” he bites back, getting himself prepared “steve-o not today, my girlfriends very stressed” chris said in a tone which you werent sure if it was sarcasm or not. “THREE… TWO…” you counted down, nodding when you pressed record. “Im steve-o and im going to swallow this here alive fish and throw it back up!”

While he got up to his stupid shit you walked away from the camera a little, leaving it on its tripod. You closed your eyes to try calm down, the sound of steve-o throwing up and others laughing from god knows where giving you a migraine. “Babe?” You heard from chris, softly “babe?… baby?” “Chris not right now…” “no babe i need you…. Baby.” “WHAT?” you snap, facing him with an expression you regretted straight after “i think Steve-os choking” he shrugged, pointing to the man who very clearly was. “Oh fuck! MEDIC! MEDIC!” You scream, running up to the tall man. The medics quickly arrived and began giving him backblows to force the live fish out

“Why didnt you just tell me!” You shouted at chris, throwing your hands up to exaggerate your emotions “i was trying not to stress you out babe!” He raised his voice a little “look im sorry for raising my voice but if this” you point to steve-o who was still choking but getting the best help he could “doesnt work? Then hes going go die” chris’s eyes suddenly sink at the realisation that just because they do this stupid shit all the time doesnt mean they are immortal, at that the live fish goes flying from steve-os mouth and he gasps for air, falling to the ground. “Your a lucky man” you mutter, starting to pack your camera gear away.

Steve-o was whisked off by the medic team to their tent and chris just stood silent next to you, not sure what to do with himself. “Look ill see you later, im going to go gray if i stay here for a second longer” you state, trying to catch his eyes that looked anywhere but you, something he done when he felt uncomfortable. When you realised chris probably wasnt going to say bye you continued walking but quickly heard him catch up “im coming back to yours” “you are? Chris there isnt much room-“ “then we will make room, we need to be together right now” he slipped his hand into yours. “Jeff y/n needs a break shes going to go gray” “we cant afford it” jeff said sympathetically “please give her a break, theres six other camera men here today” Jeff looked around at the camera men who stood around aimlessly, their camera in hand with no purpose. “Fine, fuck. Just dont make this regular” jeff complained “thanks jeff we wont” chris smiles, heading to the car park and helping you into his car. “What about my car?” “We will get it tomorrow”.

The drive home you just closed your eyes and tried to slow your heart, chris’s hand rubbing your knee in care. “Thats us darling” you open your eyes to see his house, not your small shitty apartment “sorry i thought it would be better so you dont get stressed seeing the equipment” you wrap your self around his arm “thankyou baby” “well i dont want a gray girlfriend” you both laugh then eventually get out the car making your way to the door.

You head to the living room and turn on the big tv while chris headed to the kitchen, some woman was screeching about how her best friend made out with her brother. Just some shitty reality tv show. Next up was another mind numbing game show, a sign that spoke ‘MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!’ at the top “why is it always about money!” You grumble “because money can get you high” chris laughs from behind you “cheer up baby lets watch something else” he jumped over the couch, landing next to you with a bag of chocolate and crisps in his hands. “Figured you might be hungry?” “Always” you kiss his cheek, leaning into his chest.

Chris picks up the remote and puts on family guy, he always got a good laugh out of that show “you feeling any better?” He asks, stroking your shoulder softly “much better” you yawn into his chest…

[storiesforallfandoms]

when stunts go wrong ~ johnny knoxville

word count: 2238

request?: yes!

“ahh your requests are open, love your writing and literally just want johnny knoxville getting together fluff. you work with jackass and him nervous around you and yeah, that’s all. thank you so much!”

description: in which you join the jackass crew for their newest movie and try to impress johnny with a stunt, only for it to go incredibly wrong

pairing: johnny knoxville x female!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of series injuries

masterlist (one, two)

*i changed the request a little just because i actually already had this one in my backlog*

Being a part of the newest Jackass movie meant getting hurt. You knew that. You had grown up with the show and all three movies, you were well aware of the shenanigans that the original Jackass crew got up to. But you were far from prepared for the aftermath of your biggest stunt in the movie.

You were one of two women who were cast for the new movie, which also meant you were one of the first ever women to be on the main cast. The guys tried to go easy on you and Rachel, but you made it clear from the beginning that you wanted to be a part of the stunts just as much as the guys were. This was your childhood dream, you wanted to be a part of it.

Not to mention you were trying to impress the fearless leader of the gang, Johnny Knoxville.

Yeah, Johnny was quite a number of years older than you, and yeah, maybe that should've deterred you from having feelings for him, but you couldn’t help it. You had always had a crush on Johnny even before being cast in Jackass Forever, but meeting him on set and getting to know him just made that crush grow stronger.

So, those two facts combined was how you came to find yourself looking down a water slide on a steep hill that ended on a hard, sandy land.

The stunt seemed simple enough when it was pitched to you: the guys were gonna build a make shift waterslide and have someone go down on a pool floaty onto the sandy. The pressure of the water would start slow, so that the impact would’ve be as bad, and eventually it would get higher and higher until whoever got on at the end would be shot down the hill at full speed onto the sand.

Jasper had gone first to “test it out”, then went the next two times as the water pressure was increased. Zach went down once in a floaty and then once with Wee Man on his back. Dave and Ehren raced down together at the second to highest speed, with both of them eventually colliding before even reaching the bottom.

When Johnny went to crank it up to the highest speed, you decided to volunteer to go down.

“Are you sure?” Zach asked. “It’s not a soft landing.”

“What did I tell you guys about treating me like I’m soft?” you asked. “I wanna do it. I’m sure it’s not as bad as some of the stunts I’ve done so far.”

“Oh, it definitely is,” Ehren said, an ice pack against his throbbing head.

“You collided with Dave, that’s different,” you teased. “Grab me a floaty, I’m going down.”

One of the guys passed you a floaty and you went over towards the slide. The water was rushing as such a quick speed that even stepping onto it caused you to lose your balance. Someone reached out to help steady you and when you looked up you saw it was Johnny. You felt butterflies in your stomach as you smiled up at him and he smiled back.

Steve-O came over to hold your floaty while you positioned yourself to sit down on it.

“You’re one bad ass motherfucker, (Y/N),” he said once you were ready to go.

“Thanks, man,” you said. “I’m good whenever you wanna let me go.”

Although you felt far from ready to go. Feeling how quickly the water was moving and now looking down the slide while being on it was starting to make you second guess your choice. But it was too late; you were already on the floaty and Johnny was watching. There was no turning back now.

“Okay, I’m gonna count to three and let you go,” Steve-O said. “One...two...” He hesitated, so you looked up and gave him a nod, confirming that you were ready. “Three.”

When he let you go, you shot down the slide like a rocket. You were moving so fast you were sure the wind was going to knock you off the floaty. The way down was actually kind of fun. You exclaimed in excitement as you hurtled towards the bottom of the slide, which was tilted upwards like a ramp for maximum launch.

Even being shot in the air felt like fun. You felt like you were flying. You were anticipating the painful landing, but you were sure once you got that first impact over with - as long as you didn’t land and break anything - you’d get the pain done and over with just as quickly.

But then you found yourself flipping as you made your downward decent. It felt like everything was moving in slow motion, but also like it was going too fast for you to try and fix yourself. Before you knew it, you were hitting the ground head first, and everything went black.

~~~~~~

When you came to you were sure you had died. All you could see when you opened your eyes was a bright white light. It took a few moments for your eyes to adjust to it and to realize it was just overhead lighting in a hospital room.

You were hooked up to wires that lead to a beeping machine. Your neck felt stiff and you realized it was because there was a brace around it. Actually, your entire body felt stiff. You wondered how long you had been out.

As if on cue, the door to your room opened and a doctor peaked in.

“Well hello there. Look who is awake,” he said. “Miss. (Y/L/N), do you remember how you got here?”

You went to shake your head, but groaned in pain as you did so.

“Yeah, I would advice against doing that as much as you can,” the doctor said. “You were brought in because you filmed a dangerous stunt that went wrong. You landed on your head very hard. You have a concussion and a neck injury. You’ll have to keep the brace on for a few weeks at least, and probably have to take it easy moving forward.”

You cringed to yourself. That didn’t sound great, especially in terms of your career. It wasn’t too far into the filming of Jackass Forever, and if you couldn’t finish the movie, what would that mean for you in the franchise moving forward?

“You’ll definitely have to sit out of the rest of filming that movie,” the doctor continued as if reading your mind. “No offense, but that stunt was incredibly stupid. Any one of you could’ve ended up much more seriously injured, or killed.”

All the stunts are like that, doc. Never stopped anyone before, you thought to yourself, but you wouldn’t dare say it out loud. The last thing you wanted was a lecture from a doctor you didn’t even know.

“You had someone come in with you,” he said. “We have him in the waiting room, but now that you’re awake we can send him in if you feel up for it.”

You went to nod, but remembered your neck injury and instead tried to speak for the first time.

“Yes.” It came out hoarse and squeaky, but at least you knew you could talk.

The doctor nodded and walked out of the room. You wondered who it was that came in with you. You figured it had to be one of the guys. They were probably all worried sick. You hoped they weren’t too stressed out over your injuries or anything.

You looked up at the door and felt your heart flutter when you saw Johnny standing there. He was looking at you with relief as he raced over to your bed, arms out like he was about to hug you. He stopped short before he reached you.

“Wait,” he said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

You chuckled. “A little too late for that.”

He was cautious as he slipped his arms under your body and pulled you to him. You winced a little as a pain shot through your neck, but you tried not to let him know. When he laid you back down, the pain subsided.

“Do you remember what happened?” he asked.

“I remember the slide,” you responded. “I remember going down on it, being in the air. After that, it’s all blank.”

“Probably for the best. It wasn’t...pretty.”

“The doctor said I landed on my head.”

Johnny ran a hand through his silver hair. “Yeah...yeah you did. Really hard. We...we all thought...”

He trailed off, but you knew what he was going to say. They all thought you had died. It must’ve been a pretty bad for them to think that.

“Did you get it on film?” you asked.

“Yeah, but we’ve already decided we’re not putting it in the movie.” You opened your mouth to protest, but Johnny cut you off, “You could’ve died, (Y/N). We’re not putting that in the movie.”

“But you have had injuries just as bad or worse before, and you put that in the movie. Why is it any different if I do it? Because I’m a woman?”

“No, because I don’t wanna have to sit in the theatre and watch you get hurt again and have to relieve that fear I had when we realized you weren’t moving.”

The outburst took you back. You could understand that it was agreed to cut the scene out of respect for you, but the fact that Johnny felt so passionately about you being hurt kind of surprised you. You knew it shouldn’t, he cared for everyone in the Jackass crew, both the originals and the newbies, but there was something in his tone that made it seem different this time.

You reached out to take his hand in yours. When he looked up at you, you could still see the worry all over his face, like he was still waiting to know that you were okay.

“But I made it,” you reasoned. “You know that. You’re looking at me with your own eyes. If I’m sitting next to you in that theatre when the scene is shown, shouldn’t that count for something?”

Johnny wouldn’t meet your eye. He looked down at your connected hands, giving yours a slight squeeze before bringing it to his lips. He brushed a gentle kiss over your knuckles, both surprising you and making you dizzy with excitement.

“I feel things for you that I know are wrong,” he said. “Because in a way you’re my employee, and you’re so much younger than me. But I can’t help but feel this way. When I saw you get hurt and the medics told us you weren’t moving or waking up, I was terrified. It felt like my whole world was crashing down. I thought...I wasn’t going to be able to continue with the movie if we lost you.” He chuckled, humorlessly. “All that and we’re not even together or anything. I feel crazy.”

“You’re not crazy,” you assured him. “Honestly, not to make it sound like I’m blaming you, but I probably wouldn’t have done that stunt if it wasn’t for the fact that I feel the same way about you.”

He finally looked up at your face again, his eyes wide with shock now. “What?”

You could feel yourself heating up with embarrassment, but you kept talking anyways. “I keep participating in these big stunts because I also have feelings for you that I know I shouldn’t. I’ve been trying to impress you since day one. I had this idiotic thought in my mind that if I volunteered to do the more dangerous stunts that not even any of the guys wanted to do, that you’d be impressed and...and maybe you’d even like me back. How’s that for crazy?”

He smiled. A real smile, now. “That’s far beyond crazy. That’s utterly insane, actually.”

“Yeah, well, I think that’s par for the course when you’re part of Jackass.”

You both chuckled and soon silence filled the room. You weren’t sure where to go from here, and it didn’t seem like Johnny knew either.

Not that there was really any possibility of you going anywhere right now, considering the neck injury and the concussion. If he did happen to ask you out on a date or anything, there was no way you would be going out in public with the giant brace around your neck.

“Listen, I know you’re gonna be out of commission for a while,” Johnny said at last. “Trust me, I’ve been here more times than I can count. So, maybe with my experience in this area, I could help you get better.”

You giggled a little. “Are you gonna be my personal nurse?”

He did a mock salute and responded, “Nurse Knoxville, at your service. Anything you want or need, you just need to ask.”

You raised a suggestive eyebrow at him. “Anything?”

His face turned a light shade of pink as he awkwardly laughed. “Well, in your condition not anything, but we could work our way there eventually. If that’s what you want, I mean.”

You squeezed his hand again, almost forgetting you were still holding it. “I’d like that a lot, Johnny. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, get some rest. I’ll ask the doctor when we can have you out of here and back home.”

[thegettingbyp2]

Can I request a angst and smut request with johnny knoxville, where he and the reader argue about not spending enough time together and then they make up (if ya know what I mean🤪)

A/N: So I've combined this request with another request because they fit together really well, so it's longer than my usual fics, hope you enjoy it!!

Not Now

I was bored and just wanted my boyfriend to pay me some attention, surely that’s not too much to ask, right? But every single time I went into Johnny’s office on the set of Jackass, he told me that he was too busy. No matter what I tried, including kissing that one spot on his neck that I knew always drove him crazy, I couldn’t draw his attention away from his work. His lack of attention soon started to get on my nerves so I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I stepped into the office and closed the door gently. Johnny was sitting at the desk, his eyes focused on the laptop in front of him and I could hear the constant clicking of his fingers on the keys. I walked around the back of his chair and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing his cheek.

‘Hiya, doll,’ he said, finally acknowledging me, not taking his eyes off of the laptop screen.

‘Whatcha doing?’ I said lightly as I let my head fall to rest on his shoulder. He absentmindedly turned his head to press his lips against my cheek quickly, his eyes still not straying from the screen.

‘I’m trying to explain how this stunt will work and that we can do it as safely as we can. The Risk Manager said that if I could prove it, he would approve it.’

‘Anything I can help with?’ I asked, as I started to pepper soft kisses down his neck, causing him to let out a shaky breath before he sat back in his seat slightly and I took the opportunity to straddle his lap.

‘Well this sure helps,’ he said, smirking as his hands settled on my hips and he brought his lips to mine for a quick peck that left me wanting him even more. I moved my body closer to him, brushing my hips against his groan, smirking when I saw him bite his lip and muffle a quiet groan. ‘Sweetheart, I really don’t have time right now,’ he said, gripping my hips tighter so I couldn’t move them anymore.

‘But, PJ, I haven’t seen you properly in days!’ I whined, not caring anymore if I sounded childish or not.

‘Baby, I know and I’m sorry but this is the last day I have to do this if we want to get it shot for this film. I promise I’ll make it up to you the second we get through that front door when we get home. Don’t look at me like that,’ he said chuckling when he saw the pout that had formed on my face.

‘Fine,’ I said, climbing off his lap and heading out the door, making sure to push his head back lightly before I left, hearing him laugh as I walked down the hall.

Throughout the day, Johnny barely came out of his office and whenever he did, he didn’t acknowledge me once. ‘Woah, what’s up with you and Knoxville,’ Steve-O said, throwing himself down in the chair next to me when he saw Johnny go back into his office without even a glance in my direction for the fifth time that day.

‘Nothing, apparently he’s too busy for me today is all,’ I said, trying to keep the bitter tone out of my voice as much as possible.

‘Bullshit!’ Steve-O exclaimed, looking over at the door his best friend was currently working away behind. ‘Tell you what,’ he said, inching closer to me, ‘how about we do something that will really get his attention?’

Intrigued and annoyed by the lack of attention from my boyfriend, I found myself agreeing to Steve-O’s plan.

---

‘Is it me or do you think (Y/N) and Ehren were looking pretty close earlier?’ Bam asked Ryan, standing close enough to Johnny’s door to make sure he would overhear the conversation, trying his best not to giggle.

‘Yeah, in that skirt? Man, I’d have loved to be Ehren in that moment, the way it rode up to-’

‘What the fuck are you two talking about?’ Johnny asked, opening his door and sticking his head out to look at Bam and Ryan.

‘(Y/N) and Ehren, dude,’ Bam said, turning to face Johnny, ‘he’s got her on his lap and she’s in this real short skirt and-’

Bam didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence because Johnny had shot out of his office, making his way over to where me and Ehren were sitting with the rest of the guys. I was dressed in the cheerleading outfit I wore for Johnny’s American Football stunt the other day and was perched on Ehren’s lap due to there being no empty chairs; I know that this would provoke Johnny, he always turned into the possessive type when you were around the other Jackass guys, a trait you absolutely loved about him.

‘What are you guys doing?’ Johnny said casually as he leaned lightly against the edge of the gazebo. I looked over at him and felt a shiver run up my spine as his eyes were hidden by his sunglasses and his mouth was drawn in a straight line, clearly unhappy.

‘Just talking,’ I replied just as casually, shrugging my shoulders and I could see Steve-O’s shoulders shaking out the corner of my eye as he tried to stay quiet.

‘Oh yeah? Why do you have to talk on Ehren’s lap, sweetheart,’ he said, tilting his head slightly at me and I knew I was getting to him.

‘Do you see any other free seat?’ I asked, gesturing at the other guys who were all sitting around us. All of them were trying not to laugh, finding it funny that I was clearly getting underneath Johnny’s skin.

‘Well why don’t you come and keep me company, you can come and sit with me?’ He suggested, holding his hand out, assuming that I was going to get up and take it to go with him.

‘Nah, I think I’m good here, we’re having a good conversation,’ I replied, wanting to rile him up a bit more.

A low chuckle came from Johnny’s throat as he crossed his arms over his chest. ‘Okay then sweetheart, why are you wearing that?’

‘I was helping out with a stunt for Steve-O earlier.’

‘Yeah she looked incredible,’ Steve-O piped in, grinning. He quickly quietened down when he saw the look Johnny flashed in his direction.

‘Right, what do you say we head on home early sweetheart?’

‘I thought you said you were too busy to take as little as a break today, baby, let alone finish early?’

‘Yeah, well Spike can finish it for me,’ Johnny replied quickly, I knew from the tone in his voice that his patience was beginning to wear thin.

‘What?! I’ve already got-’

‘He can finish it,’ Johnny snapped when Spike began to protest. Johnny’s tone of voice made Spike shut up quickly and everyone knew that I’d rattled him. ‘Come on, (Y/N), we’re going home.’ This time, he didn’t wait for me to reply and just started walking off towards his car, expecting me to follow him. Deciding that I’d provoked him enough, I quickly said goodbye to the others and ran to catch up with him.

The first few minutes of the drive home were silent between the two of us and I quickly was the one to break the silence. ‘PJ, talk to me,’ I begged.

‘I want you to keep quiet,’ he replied, bluntly and that’s when I knew that I might have pushed him a bit too far. I decided that my best option was going to be to stay quiet until Johnny was ready to talk to me. The rest of the journey home was silent, he wouldn’t even put the radio on.

As soon as we got back home and through the door, Johnny slammed the door closed behind us, making me jump. ‘I want you upstairs, naked and laying on the bed by the time I get there,’ he said and I could tell by the tone of his voice that he wasn’t going to put up with me messing around this time so I did exactly as he asked.

It felt like hours before I heard Johnny’s feet coming up the stairs. ‘PJ, I’m sorry, I just-’

‘Did I tell you that you could say anything?’ He asked harshly as he stepped closer to my body. He ran his fingers lightly up my stomach, pinching one of my nipples when his hand reached my chest and my hands automatically came out to try to hold onto him. ‘You really think I’m going to let you touch me after the stunt you just pulled? Hands above your head, sweetheart.’

I pouted and slowly lifted my arms until they were above my head and I heard the clink of Johnny’s belt as he pulled it from around his waist and knelt on the bed next to my head. He looped the belt around my wrists, making sure it was tight enough before threading it though the bars on our headboard, pinning my arms above my head.

He then straddled my body, still fully clothed and ran his hands along my sides, chuckling when he saw me tug at the belt attached to my wrists. ‘You wanted my attention, sweetheart, now you’ve got it 100%.’

He leaned down to press his lips quickly against mine before kissing down my neck, making me squirm against him, gasping when I felt the material of his t-shirt brushing against my nipples. He then took a firm hold of my hips and flipped me over so my wrists were twisted above my head and I was face down on the bed. His hand ran down the length of my back, down to my ass, spanking me lightly which made my hips raise up, chasing his count. I felt his face come closer to mine. ‘Count out loud,’ he whispered before his hand came crashing onto my ass, making me cry out.

‘PJ,’ I gasped, not expecting the spank.

‘That doesn’t sound like counting to me, baby,’ he said, ‘let’s start again.’ His hand came down on my ass again, this time I remembered to mark it as number one.

SMACK

‘Two.’

SMACK

‘T-three.’

SMACK

‘Four.’

SMACK

‘PJ, please,’ I begged, feeling tears spring to my eyes. Johnny’s hand smoothed over the quickly reddening skin of my ass for a while as he let me catch my breath. His hand came out to cradle my face and I felt my eyes flutter closed at the comforting touch.

‘Why am I doing this, baby girl?’ he asked gently, coaxing the answer from me as his thumb began to trace circles on my cheek, catching my lip every time.

‘I was trying to distract you from work,’ I said quietly and Johnny hummed lightly before clicking his tongue.

‘That’s one of the reasons but what’s the main reason?’

‘I was sitting on Ehren’s lap in my cheerleader outfit.’

‘You were being a brat, (Y/N). You came into my office and tried to distract me when you knew that I was busy and then you decided to make me jealous by sitting on Ehren’s lap when the only person’s lap you should be sitting on is mine.’

I felt the tears fall down my cheeks as Johnny spoke and I just wanted to curl up in his lap and have him hold me. ‘PJ, I’m sorry,’ I whispered, ‘I just missed you, we haven’t spent time together just the two of us in ages and I wanted to be with you. I thought you were going to break up with me because every time I tried to see you, you would leave. I thought that you thought I’d gotten too clingy.’

‘Sweetheart, I could never think that!’ Johnny exclaimed as he moved to lay alongside my body so he could look into my eyes as he spoke. ‘It’s just that work’s been so busy and I was planning a weekend away for us as a surprise so we could spend some uninterrupted time together. I’m sorry I made you feel like I was going to break up with you, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, there’s no way I’d let you go!’

His words tugged at my heart and I felt a little guilty that I’d essentially ruined a surprise. I gave him a teary smile and he smiled softly in response, catching a tear with his thumb. ‘So we’re okay?’

‘Baby, of course we’re okay! Do you want me to let you out of this and we can cuddle? Or do you want to carry on?’

‘Carry on,’ I replied instantly, knowing that we’d be able to cuddle afterwards. A smirk worked its way onto Johnny’s face and he gave me a kiss on the top of my head before moving back to his earlier position.

‘Right. Five more, do you think you can handle that?’ he asked and I felt myself nodding before Johnny delivered the last five spanks, not making me count this time. As soon as the last spank hit, Johnny moved over my body, ghosting kisses down my spine as his fingers ran up the insides of my thighs. ‘Fuck, baby, you really like getting punished don’t you,’ he said, smirking when he felt how wet I was.

‘PJ, hurry up, can’t wait, I need-’ I yelped as Johnny grabbed my hips and flipped me back around so I was facing him.

‘I think that you forgot that this isn’t what you want today is it sweetheart,’ he said lowly as his hand trailed up to grasp lightly at my throat, my breath hitching when I felt his fingers squeeze slightly. ‘I told you that you had all of my attention, I never said that you were going to get what you want did I?’

He let go of my throat and stepped off of the bed, throwing his t-shirt over his head and stepped out of his jeans, smirking when he looked over at me, straining against his belt that was still keeping me pinned to the bed, knowing that all I wanted to do was run my hands over his body. He soon moved back over my body, hand settling at my throat again as he positioned himself at my entrance.

‘I think that you need a little reminder about who’s really in charge here,’ he said as he slid into me with ease. I felt my back arch up against his chest and felt Johnny’s breath brush against my cheek as he held himself still, giving me a chance to adjust. As soon as my hips started to move against him, he pulled out only to slam back in and set up a brutal pace that I knew was going to leave me with bruises.

‘PJ,’ I whimpered as the breath was forced out of my lungs every time his hips hit mine.

‘Who do you belong to?’ Johnny groaned into my ear, his hand still wrapped around my throat lightly.

‘You,’ I moaned out straight away, ‘it’s always been you!’

I felt him smile against my cheek before he moved his head up so he was looking down at me. ‘You don’t go sitting on anyone’s lap but mine especially when you’re wearing that fucking cheerleader outfit, okay?’

I nodded instantly and I could feel my orgasm teetering on the edge, I just needed a little bit more before I fell over the edge. ‘PJ, my hands, please.’

Knowing exactly what I needed, Johnny removed his hand from my throat and reached up to quickly unbuckle the belt attaching me to the bed. As soon as my hands were free, they shot out to wrap around Johnny’s shoulders, a deep groan escaping Johnny at the feel of my hands on him. It was that skin-to-skin contact that had me falling over the edge as I let my orgasm was across me. Faintly, above me I felt Johnny still as he released inside of me before letting his body drop onto mine, his weight creating a soothing blanket on my body. He kissed the patch of skin where my neck met my shoulder before rolling to his side, dragging me on top of him.

‘I’m sorry for trying to make you jealous to get your attention,’ I said softly, drawing circles on Johnny’s chest with my finger.

‘Just don’t do it again,’ Johnny replied, taking my hand in his and bringing it to his lips to press a gentle kiss on the back of my hand. ‘I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you the past few weeks sweetheart.’

‘Just don’t do it again,’ I mocked, trying to copy his voice which made him laugh and pull me tighter against him. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too ,sweetheart.’

[knoxvilleforever]

Break A Leg - Johnny Knoxville x Reader

request: I loved your hesfcanons about knoxville! Can i request a johnny knoxville x reader in which she is a bass guitar player from a famous punk rock band and a really good friend with steve o? Maybe he introduce her to the crew to filming jackass forever and she fell for knox

The first time you met Johnny Knoxville, you wanted to kill your best friend Steve O. Your pre concert nerves were sent into overdrive and you can’t remember if you even managed to form a coherent sentence before your bass was thrown over your shoulders and you were out there facing the crowd.

‘I don’t really know the etiquette for this kinda thing but break a leg, I guess?’ You heard his soft voice before you were ushered toward the stage, praying the smile on your face didn’t make you look like some kind of bashful idiot.

‘That seems like it’d be more common in your line of work.’

And the sound of his laugh was the last thing you heard before the roar of the crowd filled your ears.

Before Steve O could congratulate you after the show you grabbed the nearest object, which luckily for him was a couch cushion, and hit him upside the head.

‘You didn’t tell me you were bringing Johnny Knoxville! When you asked for a plus one I assumed you were bringing a date!’

‘What Johnny can’t be my date?’ He laughed as he stole your weapon from you and attempted a headshot.

‘Sure! But a heads up would’ve been nice!’ You sighed as you dodged the flying cushion and flopped on to the couch behind you.

‘Okay. Hey, heads up he’s in the next room grabbing a drink. Is that cool?’ You narrowed your eyes at his smirk, immediately sitting up so you looked a little more presentable than your previous position. ‘What’s your deal anyway?’ 

You avoided his eyeline, fiddling with the non-existent lint on your outfit and uttered out the only response you could think of. ‘Y’know, I just like to know who I’m playing too.’ 

‘I’ve known you long enough to know you’re a really bad liar, Y/N.’ Steve O laughed, earning another couch cushion launched towards him. 

You’d known Steve O for years, after he had made it abundantly clear how much he loved your band’s music. In that time you’d never crossed paths with Johnny Knoxville, as between international tours and Steve O’s work it made it difficult to see each other as much as you’d have liked. 

So later that night, when Steve O invited you to watch the latest filming of Jackass Forever, which luckily coincided with a break from your tour, it was something you couldn’t refuse. 

‘Good to see you again, sweetheart.’ 

You couldn’t help the blush that rose to your cheeks as you turned to find Johnny watching you behind his sunglasses. 

 It was your first day visiting the set of Jackass Forever, and Johnny was the first friendly face you’d come across so far. 

‘It’s good to see you too! Thanks for having me here, although I’m not sure what I’ve let myself in for yet.’

‘Well I saw you do your thing so I guess it’s only fair you see us in return. And we have some pretty big fans waiting to see you, me included.’

Your heart skipped at his admission, but a bundle of nerves also appeared. You were always excited to meet fans, but imagining some of the Jackass crew being excited to meet you seemed surreal.

‘No way! Y/N!’

You turned to see Pontius and Weeman making their way towards you, ‘Steve O said you were coming today but we didn’t believe it!’

After some new introductions and getting reacquainted with some old faces, you found yourself stood behind the camera with Jeff whilst Steve O, Rachel and Poopies were dressed as mimes.

‘Dude we haven’t even started and I can see you laughing at me!’ Steve O shouted to you from his position next to Johnny.

‘Hey I thought this was the quiet game?’ You quipped, laughing even more as Steve O stayed quiet but gestured crossing his thumb over his neck as an empty threat.

Your cheeks burned again as Johnny burst into laughter, ‘can we have Y/N come keep you in check more often?’

‘Man I’m nervous already and now we’ve got Y/N as an audience.’ You heard Poopies groan.

As you watched Rachel handle the electric lollipop, Spike called for a break as they set up the next stunt.

‘Hey Y/N, get over here! You’re gonna like this one!’ Steve O called you over to stand between him and Johnny.

When they lifted the box you screamed, not expecting to be face to face with a viper. Well, face to face with a viper that was still inside a very secure box.

You felt Steve O grip your arms so you couldn’t facilitate your escape, fighting his grasp as he was laughing into your ear at your reaction. Snakes freaked you out. And he knew it.

When you finally managed to wriggle free you ran to your first available human shield, and luckily for you it was in the form of Johnny Knoxville.

You could hear him laughing as you hid behind his back, wrapping your arms around him instinctively to keep you away from the damn snake.

You felt the vibrations of Johnny’s chuckles through his chest, ‘You should be glad you’re not Poopies right now, sweetheart.’

‘Y/N I thought you loved snakes!’ Steve O’s laugh was infectious, and even if he nearly gave you a heart attack you couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

Without thinking you rested your forehead on Johnny’s back, catching your breath in between giggles.

Peering around his tall figure, you sighed in relief when you realised they’d finally moved the snake away from you.

‘Not a fan of snakes, huh?’ You heard Pontius call out from behind you, raising an eyebrow at your position behind Johnny.

‘Rule number one on Jackass, don’t show your weaknesses,’ Weeman laughed at you, ‘I can’t believe you play to thousands of people and this is what scares you!’

‘Well you know, it helps if you imagine them all naked.’

‘Maybe I should give that one a try.’ You heard Johnny, gaining your attention and making you notice your arms were still wound tightly around his waist.

You loosened your arms shyly, taking a small step back so your body was no longer pressed against his.

‘I’m a little offended you don’t need me as a human shield anymore.’

‘Oh believe me, if they bring that snake back out I’ll be attached to your hip.’

‘That doesn’t sound so bad to me.’ Johnny gave you his signature grin, and you thanked the gods he was wearing sunglasses because if you could see his eyes you might just melt into a puddle on the floor.

‘I guess I’m gonna have to hold you to that, Knoxville. Quite literally.’

‘Only if you’ll hold me to it over dinner. If you’re interested?’

The flirty demeanour he held had been ever so slightly replaced with a hint of nervousness, which gave you the extra boost of confidence you needed.

‘Yeah, I think I’d like that.’

[dunnswrld]

Hey babe!! 💗 I hope you’re having an amazing day :)

I just got my new sternum tattoo, the whore I am I imagined steveo and Johnny tattooing me, so I was wondering if you could write smth about it, hcs, an imagine idc- as much as you can think of <3

Just steveo and Johnny praising the shit outta reader aghhh ✨ cuz it hella hurts

First Tattoo

a/n: Hi! I hope you are having an amazing day too! Sternum tattoos are soooo cool I'm totally jealous you got one! Getting a tattoo with Steve-o and Johnny surely sounds lovely so I would love to write something for you! (Please keep in mind I have never gotten a tattoo so if I mess up on how tattoo artist do them work with me!)

prompt: You, Johnny, and Steve-o all agreed that you should get matching tattoos of the Jackass logo, but it's your first tattoo so you have the first tattoo shudders. But thankfully Steve-o and Johnny help you through it.

warnings: Fluff, fem!reader, tattoos!

"Is it gonna hurt?" You asked your two friends. You were currently sitting in a tattoo chair fiddling with your fingers punching yourself mentally in the face for agreeing to getting matching Jackass logo tattoos with your two close friend Johnny and Steve-o. Both the boys had already went; Steve-o first and Johnny second.

"Put shouldn't hurt at all with the stuff you've done." Steve-o smiled. "Yeah defiantly shouldn't doll, you've broke both your arms at the same time once this'll be a cake walk for you." Johnny said pushing your knee. "I don't know I don't really remember that pain." You said with a nervous laugh.

"Nothing to be scared of Yn! If tattoos hurt I wouldn't have so many." Steve-o added, which did calm you down a bit because Steve-o did have a lot of tattoos. "Where are you planning on getting it?" Johnny asked you. "My sternum." You said pointing to the area in the middle of your chest.

Johnny was very thankful he had his sunglasses on to cover up how wide his eyes opened as you spoke, that was probably one of the most painful areas to get tattooed. "Ooo feeling a little frisky I see." Johnny said trying to hide the fear he had of you finding out how badly that area hurts.

"Oh shut up." you laughed, Johnny letting out a breath as you didn't catch on. The tattoo artist walked back into the room holding a stencil of the Jackass logo and a fresh set of gloves. You turned your head to the artist who took a seat in the small wheeling chair next to you, he set down everything on a small tray next to him and began to open up a package of a new set of tools.

"This may be a little stupid," You chuckled, "But is this gonna hurt?" The tattoo artist looked at you then Johnny and Steve-o who were aggressively shaking their heads no then back to you. "Uh no not really you probably will feel just a pinch, shouldn't hurt too bad." The tattoo artist said, lying through their own teeth.

"You can take your shirt off or leave it on and just pull it up for me but I will need you to remove your bra for me if you are wearing one." The tattoo artist spoke as he put his gloves on. "At least buy her a drink first." Steve-o laughed, Johnny quickly joining him.

"Sorry about them they are pretty stupid." You giggled, you took your shirt off just enough to cover your boobs and unclipped your bra and took it off handing it to Johnny. Both Johnny and Steve-o giggling over your pink cheetah print bra. "Didn't know you were a cat Yn." Johnny laughed. "Shut it Knoxville."

The tattoo artist placed the stencil on you pretty quickly, handing you a mirror to confirm that's where you wanted it placed. When you said yes the tattoo artists was quick to get the tattoo gun set up.

"Do you need anything before we start like water?" The artist asked you, "Nope I'm all good." The tattoo artist nodded his head as he turned on his tattoo gun, you tensed up at the sound of the tattoo gun. Johnny noticing this and placing a hand on your knee, your body relaxed at your friends touch.

The tattoo artist started with a small line on the stencil of the tattoo, a odd sort of pain shooting through your body as the needles in the tattoo gun made contact with your skin. "Doing ok?" The artist asked you as he took the tattoo gun away from you, wiping away ink. "Never been better." You said through gridded teeth.

"See that wasn't so bad right?" Steve-o said with a small reassuring smile. "It did hurt pretty bad." You laughed nervously. The tattoo artist began to tattoo your skin again, this time a longer lines with quicker wipes to remove excess ink. You bite your tongue and didn't dare say to stop because it hurt.

"You're doing great doll just power through it." Johnny said. "Yeah you're doing great just focus on us and it'll be over in no time." Steve-o added. "If I focused on you two it would last even longer." "That's a bit mean." Steve-o said with a fake pout.

The tattoo artist hit a part in the tattoo where the pain seemed to intensify, your hand reaching out for either of the boys hands on your left for some sort of comfort. You felt Steve-o's calloused hand take yours as you squeezed his hand pretty hard, Steve-o rubbed his thumb in circles on your hand for a bit trying to relax you.

"Your almost done don't stress it dude. You are taking it like a true Jackass." Steve-o said, Johnny nodding in agreement. "Lucky for you yours was smaller than ours." Johnny smiled. For the rest of the tattoo you listened to Johnny and Steve-o's praises for how well you were doing.

"Dude your taking this like a total badass." - Steve-o probably.

"Almost done, you're doing so good." - Johnny probably.

When the tattoo was finally done the artist cleaned it a bit and told you the run down on how to take care of the tattoo, which you listened to very closely in fear of getting an infection.

"See wasn't that bad right? Even if it did you took it great." Steve-o said as he rubbed up and down your back as the three of you left the small tattoo shop. "Yeah you did great for your first tattoo, I was crying like a baby my first tattoo." Johnny laughed. "Well thanks guys, I probably would have cried like a baby too if you two weren't there."

"Yn!" Both the boys said in a cooing tone.

"Oh god shut up. Now let's go back to the hotel so we can get a picture of our tattoos."

[aeonian-knoxville]

We Stay the Same [Bam Margera/ Johnny Knoxville]

request: do you think you could write one about chris or maybe even a love triangle where two of the jackass boys have a crush on y/n?

i’m ngl I don’t even think there’s anything happy to this but we love the love triangle trope. maybe there will be a part two if people like this part

aeonian-knoxville’s main m.list

“Are you serious?” “Yes [y/n]! The guys from MTV and Big Brother Magazine are coming to check us out in an hour so get ready.” “You want me to be there with you guys?” “I want you to go to LA with us.”

-

When Bam and Ryan got picked up for Jackass you and the other CKY guys went along also. You grew up together with them and you helped them write their little skits. You wouldn’t do any of them but you came up with some of their craziest ideas and luckily they were dumb enough to try them. It had always been Bam’s dream to make it big and you were lucky enough to watch it happen.

“Did you ever think we would make it in LA?” Bam asked as you guys sat down outside in Jeff’s balcony. You guys had just wrapped up filming a movie so Jeff threw a party to celebrate. “Honestly, no” you laughed, “sometimes I feel like we’re little kids still, like when I would give you a stupid idea while we played outside and you and the other guys would actually try it” “We’re still doing the same thing, it’s just we both get paid now” Bam said bumping your shoulder with his playfully.

You weren’t sure what strings Bam had to pull but Johnny asked you to be a writer on the movie for the first time and you were officially credited as one for this new movie. “What do you think they’re talking about?” Ehren asked his other friends as they watched from their spots inside you and Bam sitting close together talking about things only the two of you could hear. “You’re telling me they’ve never fucked?” Steve-O blurts out suddenly. “Bro” Ehren says, giving Steve-O a look. “We were all thinking it, look at them, they’ve been that way since we met them. They should just get it over with” Steve-O said in a matter of fact voice. “Bam never made a on [y/n] when we were kids either. We’ve been waiting for him to do it” Ryan explained to his friends and Dico nodded in agreement, “It’s so painful to watch” he added on.

“Do they think we don’t notice them staring?” You asked Bam as you can feel a lot of eyes on the two of you. You knew why they were staring though, you were waiting for the same thing to happen. “They’re just a bunch of idiots,” Bam rolled his eyes, “Want to go back inside? It’s getting cold out here” Bam said, putting out his cigarette. The two of you finished your heart to heart conversation without anything exciting happening. As the two of you walked back in through the glass door the other guys all pretended to be occupied by different conversations. “I’m going to go get another drink, do you want anything?” You asked Bam, not wanting to deal with the interrogations you would get from Chris and Steve-O. “I’m fine, thanks though” Bam told you as he headed to sit with his friends and you made your way to the alcohol. “I thought you were going to do it-” you heard Ryan yell at Bam. Sometimes you wondered if they were loud on purpose or if they really thought they were being subtle.

“What are you doing over here by yourself?” You heard a familiar voice ask coming up next to you as you poured yourself liquor. You turned and saw the ringleader of Jackass, Johnny, pouring himself something to drink also. “They can be a little annoying sometimes, right?” You asked light heartedly nodding your head in the direction of the other boys. “Tell me about it,” Johnny laughed. The two of you stayed in awkward silence and you were about to excuse yourself but he spoke up again, “you haven’t been answering my calls” You’re breath hitched, you didn’t want to deal with the conversation that was about to happen

“It was fun last weekend but I don’t think I want a relationship right now” you told him bluntly. You and Bam never kept secrets from each other except you did this one time, after a night out with the guys you may have gone home with Johnny but you did it for the sole purpose of just wanting a hookup, a one night type of thing since you were getting bored with waiting around for Bam or so you told yourself. If neither you or Bam were going to do anything then it probably was time to move on, but it was hard, you kept wondering “what ifs”.

“You’re still waiting on him? He’s still a kid, I would give you the world if you wanted it” The word “him” struck your heart. Johnny said it like Bam was a pest but maybe he was right. Bam didn’t know where to stand but Johnny had been making it clear to you. Johnny saw your face sadden and he grabbed your face lifting your chin up towards him, “I didn’t mean it like that but it’s been years [y/n], you can’t let him keep leading you on. I feel like a dog chasing its tail going after you but it’s a hell of a lot more than what Bam’s giving you” You felt like crying, it was true. He was telling you words you didn’t want to hear. “Johnny, I can't do this right now” You walked away from him trying to keep yourself calm.

You went to sit Bam and Dico, “where’s your drink?” Dico asked, holding his up signaling he wanted you to get drunk with him and the rest of your friends. “Oh, I forgot what I had even gone over there for” you came up with the poor excuse but you knew both boys didn’t believe it but they didn’t push it. “Where’s Raab?” Dico knew you had something to say to Bam so he excused himself. “What’s up?” Bam asked you knowing something was off. “What are we doing?” You asked him straight up “Like I can’t keep letting myself believe you want me then you don’t do anything about it” you confessed finally. “You can make a move too” Bam said, taken aback by your sudden mood change, you had just been so benign with him outside. “I did! Right before we came to LA, before all this happened,” you gestured to luxury surrounding you guys, “and you told me you couldn’t juggle a relationship and your work” you voice was loud and the other guys stared in shock, some probably even in amusement in their drunken states.

Not even your best friends from Pennsylvania knew that. “[y/n] I’m sorry but-“ “let me guess, you’re still not ready?” Bam couldn’t say or do anything except lower his head, he prioritized his work over anything else and he was at a point where he always wanted he didn’t want to slow down but to say he didn’t love you would be a lie. “I just need you to wait a little bit” “I’m tired of waiting, Bam” The tears finally fell from your eyes and everyone staring in silence giving you their petty and second hand embarrassment looks made you feel worse.

“[y/n],” A gentle voice called out to you but you wouldn’t lift your head from looking downward, you could see your tears falling to the ground, “let’s get out of here” you saw Johnny’s red converse in front of you, you finally looked up, he had his hand out and you took it because at that moment you wanted to be anywhere but with Bam. He was still holding out after all these years, nothing was going to change. Bam couldn’t register what he was seeing at first but he finally snapped out of it, jumped off the couch and ran to tug on your hoodie to stop you from leaving, “if you’re mad at me that’s fine but don’t go with Knoxville just to get a reaction out of me“ “I’m not going because I want a reaction. You know what I want” you couldn’t stop crying and you probably looked like a mess but there was a lot you wanted to say, years worth of words. “Bam-“ Johnny was going to tell Bam to let you make your own decisions but Bam turned to him with hatred in his eyes “Don’t say a fucking word to me” Dico and Ryan went up to step in between Johnny and Bam before things could get ugly. “Let’s just calm down,” Ryan said to no one in particular.

“Don’t pretend to hate me. Please, [y/n]” Bam tried to plead with you but Johnny’s words kept repeating in your head. You had just confessed once again to him and he still didn’t want to try, it was humiliating to go through that again. You let go of Johnny’s hand and started walking towards Bam, Ryan and Dico moved out of your way- their faces were filled with nervousness . You tried your best to compose yourself and held your head high so Bam knew what you were about to say was the truth, “Pretend? I don’t need to pretend to hate you right now. I wasn’t asking for a lot from you” The words stung him, hard. Like if you had just injected him with venom. The two of you had your fair share of arguments but words like this were never spoken. You walked back to Johnny, “I want to go” you told him, he could see your eyes begging him to take you anywhere but there. “Come on” he whispered to you and put his hand on the small of your back guiding you out of Jeff’s house

“What the fuck just happened?” Dave was the first one to break the silence in the house. “So I guess they’re not fucking” Steve-O tried to whispered but because the house fell so silent it was perfectly audible. The other guys gave him a sharp look then he made some excuse about having to leave because his roommate and him had made plans earlier. Slowly one by one the guys all made their excuses and headed out, unsure of what was going to happen. “Are you okay?” Ryan asked Bam but Bam just shoved past him and went to start up his own car. Bam sat in his car, his head feeling like it was about to explode. He started to bang on his steering wheel taking out his anger, “fuck!” He yelled then pulled out of Jeff’s driveway and sped away, to where? He didn’t know.

Johnny asked if you wanted to go back to his place and you could only nod so the two of you drove back to his place in silence. When the two of you pulled up outside, you didn’t take off your seat belt or move. You just kept staring out the windshield, hundreds of thoughts were running through your mind. You didn’t know why you felt so shitty when you knew you deserved better.

Johnny broke the silence and sighed, “I know you don’t feel exactly one hundred percent with me like how you do with Bam but I really want to try this with you, Sweetheart. I really do like you [y/n], I think you’re brilliant in every way.” You turned to look at him, “You’ve already done so much more than him. I think I’m ready to try this with you too.” You knew it was going to be hard, you felt as if Bam was your first love even though the two of you had never dated but you were tired of competing with Bam’s work life and his personal one.

You knew Johnny could give you what you craved for and deep down you knew you wouldn’t have hooked up with him if you didn’t have some feelings for the older man. Johnny gave you a small smile then grabbed your hand and gave it a quick squeeze letting you know he was there for you. You finally let yourself relax around him and let him take you inside, you still wondered what was going to happen with Bam and you. Though, you knew things were never going to be the same.

[philscoupons]

second date - (johnny knoxville x m!reader)

word count: 3.0k (this got a little out of hand)  tags/warnings: mlm. smut. there’s like, no plot. it’s basically pure filth. drinking. swearing. nsfw. you guys know the drill.  summary: reader is one of the newer guys on set, and has a crush on knoxville. little do they know, the feelings are not unrequited. drinking and sex ensue. a/n: thank you for the request, anon.

I rarely declined an invite to go out and party with the boys, however so rarely they came in. Filming wrapped surprisingly early today, and an invite was extended to a few other camera guys and I to "come out and grab a few drinks," as Chris Pontius put it. We all piled into our cars, many of the guys riding with each other- I'd learned very quickly that it's easier to pick up 4 or 5 cars from the bar in the morning as opposed to 11.

I ended up in the back of Johnny Knoxville's car, squished between Pontius and another one of the camera crew. 

"We're going to Charlie’s, we're like their favorite group that comes in," Pontius explained.

"I think that's just because we make them the most money," Knoxville commented, glancing back in the rearview mirror and winking at me.

I jokingly raised an eyebrow back at him and he smiled before looking back at the road.

I’d had a crush on Knoxville since I started working for Dickhouse about a month earlier. He acted a little gay around everyone though, so I learned to think nothing of it when he did it with me.

The boys struck up usual conversation with us, asking how the shots came out today, if Tremaine seemed satisfied, etc etc. and before I knew it, Johnny pulled into the parking lot of Charlie’s.

"Okay, as much as I love being graced by y'all's presence, get out of my car."

Johnny smiled his million dollar smile at us, and we all laughed and piled out of his car as everyone else was beginning to arrive.

The night began with a round of tequila shots, courtesy of Steve-O, (even though it was all going on Tremaine’s tab anyways). 

“Nothing good starts off with tequila shots,” Johnny grinned, downing his.

“I beg to differ,” I smiled back, downing mine and relinquishing the burn of it down my throat.

I took a seat at the bar, and for reasons unbeknownst to me, Johnny slid into the seat next to mine.

“So, I know you’re kind of new, how’s everyone treating you?” He asked while waving the bartender over.

"Everyone's been great, actually, thanks for asking. You guys are actually really nice for a group of guys advertised to be assholes." 

Johnny laughed hard at that, holding his glasses to his head as he did. 

"You'd be surprised... I assume you haven't fallen victim to any pranks yet?" 

"Not yet, thankfully, I'd guess I have it coming now, don't I?" 

"Yeah, you might've just scooted yourself higher up on my list, sweetheart.”

I brushed off the last bit, I was still getting used to his habit of calling everyone pet names.

"What do you have like a hit list?" 

Johnny laughed again, and I couldn’t help but grin back at him.

"Somethin' like that."

The bartender finally made his way over to us, “What can I get you two fellas?”

“I’ll have rum and coke and he’ll have…” Johnny looked at me expectantly.

“Uh, a Manhattan, please.”

“Comin’ right up!” 

“A Manhattan, huh?” Johnny teased, and I could feel my cheeks heating up. I was a blushing mess until I got enough alcohol in me.

“No matter how nice you guys are, a new job is stressful.”

“I’ll drink to that, darlin’.”

And in perfect time, the bartender brought our drinks over.

“So, do you harass all the new guys, or is it just me?” I picked the teasing back up as I picked up my drink.

Johnny chuckled before replying, “Just the hot ones,” he said, holding eye contact, or as much as one could with sunglasses on.

I couldn’t hide the blush creeping up my cheeks this time, and ducked my head in embarrassment.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be over with the rest of the guys?”

We both looked over at the rest of the group, which had very quickly devolved into chaos. Steve-O was performing some sort of trick on a table, and the rest of the guys had gathered around him, drinks in hand, cheering him on.

“Nah, they get me every other night, plus, I think I’ve seen every single one of O’s bar tricks.”

I nodded and took another sip of my drink before saying what was on my mind, “Not that I’m complaining, just means more of you for me.”

Johnny cocked an eyebrow, “Do you always hit on your coworkers, or is it just me?” he mocked.

“Just the hot ones,” I laughed and set my glass down. 

As the night went on and the drinks kept rolling in, Johnny and I got increasingly more bold in our flirtations. The straw that broke the camel's back was Pontius, ever the wingman, “tripping” (shoving) me into Johnny. Knoxville caught me with an arm around my waist, and I stayed pressed to his front even after I got my feet under me. 

“Shit, I almost ended up on my knees for you already, I usually wait till the second date for that.” I smirked up at him, liquid courage dissipating my usual brain to mouth filter. 

Johnny raised his eyebrows in surprise before smirking back and tightening the grip he had on my waist. 

“Well, darlin’, why don’t we call this the first date, and we can go have the second date back at my place.”

I swallowed any hesitation and drowned it with the rest of my drink, “Sounds like a plan to me, captain.”

Knoxville kept his hold on me, leading me around the bar to bid our farewells to everyone.

"Practice safe sex!" Steve-O yelled after us, and Pontius joined him in the heckling, "Use a condom!"

I chuckled and ducked my head into Johnny's side. 

"They mean well," he reassured me. 

"I know, I know." 

We passed through the front door of the bar, and I shivered as the cool night air hit my body; Johnny hugged me a little tighter to him.

"We'll call a cab, yeah?" 

"Yeah, both of us have had way too many drinks to drive.” 

"Agreed." Johnny hailed us a cab and we began the short ride to his place. Once Johnny let go of my waist to sit down in the car, his hand immediately found its way onto my thigh. Now that the man had gotten a small taste of contact, it was like he couldn't let go. I looked at him, and pointedly down at his hand with an eyebrow raised. 

"Don't worry, I'm not into that kind of thing," he chuckled, and I laughed along with him. 

"Good, I was a little worried there for a second." 

He smiled again and I found my eyes trailing down to his lips; I had to remind myself, just a few more minutes before I could kiss him. The tension in the cab was palpable, and in the back of my mind I briefly felt bad for the cab driver. 

Johnny and I both thanked the cab driver when we arrived, and Johnny left him a hefty tip.

As soon as we were through the front door, Johnny had me pressed up against it, one hand on my waist, and the other tangled in the hair at the back of my neck. "I watched your eyes on my lips the entire ride back here." 

"You gonna do something about it?" I challenged him with a smirk.

With that, Johnny leaned in and kissed me. 

Johnny kissed the same way he flirts, smooth, and straightforward, and damn is he good at it. I immediately let myself melt into the kiss, parting my lips for him to slide his tongue in. He tasted like cheap liquor and even cheaper cigarettes, but it was intoxicating. He tightened his grip on the back of my neck, and I felt absolutely hopeless, one hand bunched in his shirt, and the other gripping his bicep. 

He pulled away and I huffed at the sudden loss of contact.

"I believe you promised a sort of second date ritual?"

I nodded, taking a second to catch my breath, "Somewhere more comfortable?"

"Yeah, my room is just around the corner."

He pulled me in for another quick kiss- this one more teeth and tongue than the last- before grabbing my hand and leading me too his room.

As soon as we were past the threshold, I spun him back around and connected my lips to his. He backed up until he was sitting on the edge of his bed and I pulled away to catch my breath again.

“Is this okay?” He asked, ever the gentleman.

"More than okay," I breathed, moving in to kiss his neck.

"Hold on-" he stopped me momentarily, leaning away enough to lift his shirt up and over his head, chucking it haphazardly on the floor, "okay, now you've got the green light."

I smiled at him and moved back to where I was, kissing and sucking down his neck.

"The boys- are gonna give us shit- tomorrow," he said between breathy moans.

"We'll deal with it tomorrow."

I continued my assault on his neck, biting lightly on his pulse point before kissing down his chest.

"Shit, sweetheart- we're gonna be here all night."

"Be patient, would you?" I chastised between kisses.

"Patience, is not one of my virtues,” he shot back.

I scoffed and moved my hands to his belt and adjusted myself so I was kneeling between his legs. I occupied myself with unfastening the buckle and undoing his pants under neath it while he toed his shoes off. Johnny pushed his hips off the bed and allowed me to slide his pants and boxers down and off his legs.

I decided I was going to tease him more and started kissing up his legs, starting at his knees, and switching to biting and sucking as I made my way closer to his quickly hardening dick.

"Fuck- you have a thing for marks, huh?"

"What makes you say that?" I smirk up at him before sucking another mark into his skin, this time right below his hip.

He let out another breathy moan before threading his fingers through my hair, “Please-" he breathed out.

That was all I was waiting for, "Please what?" 

"Please touch me already.”

"Since you asked so nicely." I wrapped my hand around his dick and pumped it a few times before taking it in my mouth. The tension melted out of Johnny's body as he relaxed into the hold I had on him. 

"Holy mother of-" He cut himself off with a groan as I ran my tongue along the length of his dick. 

I sucked and rubbed my tongue over his head, which drew another moan out of the man above me. His grip on my hair tightened as I relaxed my jaw and allowed his dick to slide further into my mouth. Taking a deep breath in through my nose, I looked up at him and found his eyes already on mine as I took the whole length of his erection down my throat.

Johnny looked like the image of bliss as he slammed his eyes shut, mouth hung open in a perpetual o-shape, abs tight while one hand gripped the edge of the bed and the other held my head down between his legs. I took another breath through my nose and swallowed around him, ignoring the ache in my jaw. The noises he was making were downright pornagraphic, moaning and cursing as I moved my tongue around his length. Despite my grip on his hips, he bucked upward and tears sprang to my eyes as I fought my gag reflex. Needing a real breath, I lightly opposed the pressure of his hand and he took it away, allowing me to pull away and catch some air before I licked a stripe up the underside of his dick.

“Darlin’-” he was able to groan out, “slow down-”

I took my mouth off of him, “Everything okay?” I asked, my voice already half way to wrecked.

“You look stunning on your knees for me, sweetheart, but if you stay down there this’ll be over quicker than I’d like.”

I nodded in agreement as his praise went straight to my dick, which I was suddenly painfully aware of. Before I could reach down and ease some of the discomfort, he moved the hand he had in my hair to grip my jaw lightly. He guided me back up to a standing position and pulled me in to kiss him again. I let out a pathetic whine as he kissed me deep and slow. I was left in the same position I was at the front door; holding onto him for dear life as he kissed me like the world was ending. He slid his hands up my shirt, sliding it up my body before breaking the kiss to get it up and over my head. 

“You have entirely too many clothes on for my liking,” he said before moving on to my pants and making quick work of those. I bit my tongue to keep from whining as his hand brushed over my aching erection through my boxers.

“What was that?” he mocked, presumably getting back at me for earlier.

“Really funny, Knoxville,” I groaned out.

He laughed and worked my boxers down my legs too. We were both finally completely exposed to each other, and Johny sat back a bit, hands framing my sides, admiring. He wolf whistled and moved his hands to my hips before pulling me back onto the bed with him, flipping us over as I fell. I was slightly surprised, as that was about as much coordination as I’d ever seen out of him. He left his body hovering over mine, close enough to exchange heat, skin barely touching in some places.

"Johnny," I started, tone embarrassingly desperate. 

He replied with a smirk and a hand resting over my dick, "You can use your words, sweetheart."

I huffed at him and moved to thrust up into his hand, but he moved it away.

“I’m only getting payback.”

I should’ve known he was going to pull some shit like this. I threw away whatever sliver of dignity I had left before replying, quietly, “...Please, touch me.”

“I’m sorry darlin’ I couldn’t hear you.

God, he was mean.

“Please, touch me, my dick, something, anything, please.”

“Atta boy,” he praised me again and wrapped his hand around my dick. He gave a few experimental pumps before starting a mind melting pace. I bit my lip to keep from moaning out again, and Johnny noticed, again. Slowing his pace, he rolled us onto our sides so he could hold my face in one hand. Using his thumb, he traced over my lips, pulling my bottom one out from between my teeth.

“I want to hear you, I didn’t wait all night for this for you to hold back on me.”

I took a second to nod, as forming an understandable verbal response with his hand on my dick was slightly difficult. 

“Y-yeah, okay.”

He smiled at me softly and moved back to holding himself up over me while picking the pace of his hand back up. 

I threw my head back, moaning something incomprehensible as he thumbed over the head of my cock.

“I’m close, Johnny- fuck-”

“Can I jerk us off together?”

I barely registered the bluntness of the request before I was nodding yes again, “Yes, please, fuck, anything, I don’t care-”

Johnny brough his hand up to his mouth and spit into it before holding it to my mouth, “Spit,” he commanded. I obeyed and spit into his open palm. He rubbed our shared spit over my dick and his before sliding both of our length’s together in his hand. Thrusting in unison with his hand, he picked up a maddening pace.

If nirvana existed, I was convinced this was it. Sharing heat, skin, breath, simple existence, with Johnny. The world outside of his legs tangled in mine and his hand around my dick melted away. It was him and I at the edge of the universe, surrounded by a constant state of bliss and pleasure, yet completely absorbed in each other. And Johnny was in the image of a god; everything about him in that moment was perfect. His long, lanky arm muscles flexed as he worked, abs tightening as he neared his release, eyebrows furroughed with effort. I would’ve reached up and smoothed them out if I had half the mind to move at all.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by his mouth on my neck, biting a mark onto my pulse point. I whined and shook in his grasp.

“I’m so close Johnny, please don’t stop.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart,” he groaned out, hips and hand falling out of rhythm, “Cum with me, okay?”

My orgasm hit me before I could reply, and his hips stuttered as he came along side me. I moaned as he bit into my shoulder, grunting out the rest of his orgasm. My hips twitched up into his hand as I rode out the rest of my orgasm, whining when his hand became too much. My vision blacked out for a second as Johnny lowered himself to rest on top of me. Our chests heaved in time with each other, both of us trying to catch our breaths. When my vision faded back in, Johnny was looking at me with hooded eyes and a dopey grin. 

I smiled back at him, sticking my tongue out slightly.

“Give me a second to catch my breath and I’ll go grab a towel,” he said.

“I need a minute too,” I chuckled.

“If this is the second date, then I can’t wait for the third.”

“...Are you asking me out, Johnny Knoxville?”

“Only if you’ll say yes.”

“After that? I’d be crazy to say no.”

[auburnfamilynews]

Photo by Wesley Hitt/Getty Images

How to navigate a weekend of college football through an Orange and Blue lens

Welcome back, Tiger fans! Boy wasn’t that BYE week something. Just a fine and lovely weekend to enjoy some extra time with the family, maybe take in a movie, and oh yeah...LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL @ Georgia. Ain’t nothin’ finer in the land than a drunk, obnoxious Georgia fan...being hit square in the jaw with the same reality 39 years running while the beginnings of a hangover start taking effect. There’s no limit on the joy I have had this week knowing that this, the year in which Kirby has more 5 stars than literally any other school in America, finding a way to BLOW IT against a far inferior opponent.

See, that’s what the Rootability Index is at its core. It’s deciding who we hate the most on any given weekend and how a team winning/losing helps Auburn. And we always hate Georgia and Alabama the most. With that in mind, let’s take a look at the weekend’s slate!

Auburn at Arkansas

It’s easy to hate the Bama’s and the Georgia’s. But it takes a true, battle-worn member of the Auburn family to understand why we hate Arkansas so much. The youth’s like Ryan just won’t ever fully understand. So let’s take a painful journey down the path to why we should hate Arkansas...

Disrespecting Bo Jackson at his jersey retirement in 1992. This game was also a tie, meaning Pat Dye’s final team would not be selected for a bowl due to the pesky Hogs coming into Auburn and ruining an otherwise perfectly good day. This was also one of the first Auburn football games I remember attending.

1995. Pat Nix’s senior season would have, and should have, culminated in Auburn’s first birth in the SEC Championship game. Arkansas led 27-0 in the first half in Little Rock. Arkansas ended up beating Auburn that day 30-28 and went on to win the SEC West.

2002. Fred Talley. Still running through my nightmares, Fred Talley. Hey! Guess who won a share of the SEC West in 2002?!? AUBURN! Know who they shared it with? F****** Arkansas! Guess who didn’t get a second chance at a Georgia team who won in Auburn thanks to an uncalled offensive pass interference? AUBURN. No I’m not over it. No I never fully forgave Tommy Tuberville for it. Look relationships can be complicated, and when you lose to F****** Arkansas enough times when it costs you a chance at an SEC Championship you have a lot of mixed emotions about a person who otherwise did some wonderful things. Which leads me to...

2006. OH COME ON! WE WERE NUMBER TWO IN THESE UNITED STATES AND WE DON’T SHOW UP FOR A HOME GAME AN THE UNHOLY HOUR OF ELEVEN O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING AND GET SCHOOL BY SOME HIGH SCHOOL COACH RUNNING A GIMMICK OFFENSE WITH A TRUE FRESHMAN QUARTERBACK. Oh, wait, there’s more! Guess who won the SEC West that season?!? ARKANSAS. Again, just beating an Arkansas team that did not have nearly the talent of that Auburn team puts them in Atlanta, in a rematch against Florida with a legitimate shot at a national championship.

2008. What better time to fire an offensive coordinator who clearly wasn’t meshing with the staff than after losing to Vandy right before a bad Arkansas team comes into Auburn? This was supposed to be a “get right” game for a struggling team before a BYE week. Instead, Bobby Petrino hands us a 3-point loss and folks start to realize that maybe the Tuberville era is closing on the Plains.

2012. So you’re 1-3 Auburn, with losses to Clemson, Mississippi State, and LSU. What better way to “get right” than have a 1-4 Arkansas team come to Auburn coached by John L. Smith? How? Why? What? All valid questions to ask yourself after this continues to happen.

Jimmy Sexton. Auburn let Jimmy Sexton play them twice. All thanks to some sort of hilariously misguided allure to the Natural State. Shame on us for the contracts that followed. Shame on Arkansas for existing and therefore letting this happen.

I despise this program. They’ve put me through more unnecessary pain and frustration than ever should be allowed. And for all of the negatives some folks like to find in Gus Malzahn, I for one am sure thankful to have a coach who takes great pride in slapping this program with the hand of God every chance he gets. Sure, it’s probably with a bit of restraint now without Bert on the other sideline and replaced by one of his friends, but make no mistake, this game is personal for Gus Malzahn. And you know what? It’s damn personal for me to. Let’s trick play their butt early and often. Then let’s run down their throat 55 times for 500 yards and find a real ground threat for Death Valley next weekend. Give me this again, for it gives me life...

Florida at South Carolina

My orange and blue lens really wants to pull for South Carolina. I want an upset or two this weekend. I’m extremely bitter over what happened two weeks ago. And Florida is an old rival, and I sat through many losses to Steve Spurrier in Jordan-Hare Stadium as a child. That being said, Go Gators. Look we need Florida to win here. What I would give to play that team again in Atlanta. Hell, what I would give to just see Florida in Atlanta for the hilarity of Georgia finding a way to screw this up beyond belief! So my long-term dreams outweigh my desire to laugh at Florida for losing to this guy...

Missouri at Vanderbilt

Stay healthy, Mizzou. Keep winning. You can’t win the SEC East because of some real stupid NCAA probation, but you can be good enough to spoil the dreams of the rest of your division. So yeah, don’t lose this game.

M-I-Z! Z-O-U!

Texas A&M at Ole Miss

No part of me feels like an Ole Miss win does anything to harm our chances against them in Auburn in a few weeks. This is a bad football team who is playing a lot better offensively with John Rhys Plumlee in at quarterback. They just aren’t as good as us. So...what could be more hilarious than Jimbo Fisher headed down a road straight to 6-6 town? You’d just hate to see it.

Hotty Toddy!

Kentucky at Georgia

Oh man. Surely there’s no way that Georgia could find a way to lose to a team with multiple quarterback injuries! Yeah, no way that could happen with all that talent in Athens.

When you prepare the right way, good things will happen. pic.twitter.com/AcPgn9oPpL

— Gamecock Football (@GamecockFB) October 15, 2019

With that in mind...C-A-T-S CATS! CATS! CATS!

(Also, once again, never forget that this happened...)

LSU at Mississippi State

I actually feel bad for Joe Moorhead. He deserves a better life than being in Starkville among folks that actively hate him for not being Dan Mullen despite also being a good, albeit overwhelmed, football coach. I hope he leaves for other pastures. I also hope his football team does some damage to LSU in a loss to the Bengal Tigers. Just show us some of LSU’s weaknesses, State. Play tough and give LSU some body blows going into next week. Hell, stay in the game for a while for all I care. Just find a way to lose. We don’t need this LSU team brought down to earth by anybody other than us. Let the heads that talk continue to fill everyone’s head on the Bayou with dreams of beating Alabama. And then sure, go beat Alabama...after losing to us.

Geaux Tigers.

Tennessee at Alabama

You know on one hand part of me wants to be on the “Fire Jeremy Pruitt” bandwagon because I just want something to go right in Knoxville so that maybe one day this series can get competitive again. And getting blasted by Alabama would theoretically move things in that direction. On the other hand, LOL nah to hell with Alabama. It’s a hopeless cause but I’m here for it anyway. At least I’m old enough to vividly remember the better, simpler days until Tennessee gets its act together again.

Go Vols!

Figured out how to root today? Get it? Got it? Good. War Eagle.

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2019/10/19/20921834/rootability-index-vol-2

[shojimezolovemail]

protective platonic hcs with jackass!! where u r like the youngest girl member💛

A/N: first, apologies for getting to this a lil late! i had graduation prep and graduation:”) second, i love this idea!!

A/N 2: if you’d like me to include ehren and dave, send in another ask <3 requests are always open!

warnings: jackass crew being sweeties, getting called kid, minor violence in chris’

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

from the moment he met you, he took you under his wing

you probably came to the set as an intern to jeff and johnny loved your enthusiasm even on your first few days

“who’s this lil cutie with ya, jeff?”

you were a bit nervous to interact with johnny because he’s a little unhinged but after the first few weeks

you two practically fighting to lead pranks/stunts

if you’re old enough to drink, you’re immediately invited out to party with the guys

and if bigger social crowds make you nervous, johnny is helping you scope out quieter/less chaotic places to hang out

the moment anyone tries to give you a hard time or making you uncomfortable? he’s butting in and getting the person out of the even as quickly as possible

johnny is always in your corner and ready ti jump to your defense

STEVE-O

steve’s similar to johnny in taking you under his wing

he’s always encouraging you to have fun on set, even if at first you’re ‘not supposed to’

he’d think it’s ridiculous that anyone has to be serious on a jackass set so he’s harassing jeff and spike to ‘let the new kid have fun’

you’re getting dragged into whatever stunt he’s doing

“c’mon kid, i won’t let you get hurt. promise!”

he isn’t necessarily lying because anytime you could’ve gotten hurt with him

he breaks your fall with his own body

does he wind up with more stitches and on a stretcher because of it? yeah but, he said he wouldn’t let you get hurt

steve-o loves you like a little sibling and won’t let anyone bug you, besides himself

CHRIS PONTIUS

you met chris while he was dressed in one of his speed-o outfits

he regrets it like….it would keep him up at night

chris brings you breakfast/lunch for at least a week with small notes attached ‘sorry you saw me as a party boy, kid. promise i own pants’

after those interactions, he tries to be extra friendly to you

that’s how your friendship/weird sibling dynamic developed

you’re invited to every outing he attends

similar to johnny, if anyone bothers you, they have to deal with him

someone is being physically inappropriate? they’re bloody and bruised

you’d probably be a little taken aback but, he’s more than happy to defend you, even if he gets thrown out of a club or two

RYAN DUNN

ryan helped you find that day’s set and you two got to talking

when you picked up on both of you going in the exact same directions you were like “:O you work on this set?”

he’d just chuckle and be like “i’m apart of jackass, of course i work on the set”

whenever ryan wasn’t filming, you two would stand around and get to know each other more

you were very grateful to have made a friend your first day on the set

any time you saw each other, ryan was sure to make you stand far enough back that none of the bigger stunts would impact you

“hey! back up!”

the few times you’d get banged up on the set were never due to a stunt, more clumsiness

ryan is getting a little snappy at anyone who is responsible for letting you get injured on his watch

BAM MARGERA

bam is used to being the younger sibling so meeting you was a bit of a slap in the face

he’s also used to being the youngest jackass crew member so you are definitely quite a bit younger than everyone else

that’s mainly how you two bonded

both of you getting teased by the others because you’re ‘so young’

you’re always invited over to april and phil’s place

april immediately loved you

the one time you ever got super hurt on the jackass set

bam didn’t hesitate to pick you up and carry you over to the medical team

he sat and held your hand, trying to crack jokes to keep you content

[welcometojackass2022]

i don't know if you do these still and you totally don't have to if you don't want but i watched an episode of game grumps because steve-o was in it and he joked about always having seen video games as a waste of time and teased about them being for losers and it made me start wondering how the boys would be with a nerdy partner, like which of the guys

A) loves it. could listen to you talk about nerd shit for hours because you look so cute when you’re this passionate, whether it’s ideas for a game you’re DMing or a rant about how the mainstream gaming industry sucks. will comfort you after a sad ending or your favorite character dies (he might get a little emotional himself). may even cosplay or at least do a couples costume with you

B) (lovingly) teases you mercilessly. they would never bully you or make fun of you to hurt you and they actually find it cute but they just can’t help but tease you. still buys you whatever games or nerd paraphernalia you want because he really does love seeing you happy and feels a little bad about the teasing. or he just wants more chances to tease you. maybe a little of both

C) is just confused. they love you and it makes them happy when you’re happy so they support your interest and will listen, but they just don’t get it/can’t get into it. Might play some casual stuff like mario kart or smash bros with you and enjoy it but don’t know what to do when your bawling your eyes out over the ending of a game.

even if you don’t want to do this i just want to let you know i love your writing! your probably one of my favorite writers on jackass tumblr :)

Don’t worry, I love these! I just haven’t done them lately cuz no one’s requested any :) this is cute!!

a) CHRIS AND EHREN!!! Chris and Ehren are 100% in this category! They are the sweetest and most supportive boys ever, and they will sit and listen to you talk about whatever video games you’re into without a hint of annoyance or complaint cuz they think it’s so fucking cute when you talk about things that make you happy :) they’d both comfort you if a character you loved died (Ehren would cry too), and I can see both of them being eager to do a couples costume with you! Chris would be so proud of the costume and so happy to show it off to his friends, while Ehren is just in awe of how cute you look in the costume.

Surprisingly enough, I actually think Bam is a mix between this category and category b! Although my first instinct was to say he’d be all mean and tease you about your interests, I thought about it a little more and I think that’s not quite true. Bam himself is a fanboy (not of video games, but of bands), and he gets very into it, wearing elaborate outfits and band merch and gushing about the bands whenever he can, so I think he’d understand your intense interest more than anyone else. He may not be interested in the same thing, but he’ll let you rant about video games as much as you want (and maybe comfort you a bit when a character dies) as long as you listen to him rant about bands in return. He may even agree to a couples costume if you agree to let him dress you up in his favorite band’s merch from time to time. However, he’d also probably tease you at least a little bit, so he’s got traits of category B.

b) Johnny Knoxville, Wee Man, and Dave England! Johnny will tease the hell out of you for being so invested in a video game but it’s always in a loving way and he’ll gladly play a video game with you whenever you want him to and he showers you with video game gifts for special occasions. Wee Man is supportive as hell but he does like to poke fun at you every now and then, although he never takes it too far and he’ll surprise you with video game memorabilia from time to time. Dave England actually really likes playing video games and does so with you all the time, he just isn’t quite as invested as you are and he likes to make jokes about it sometimes to be funny. I can see him going to GameStop and being so overwhelmed about what to get you.

c) Preston Lacy, Steve-O, and Ryan Dunn. You mentioned that Steve-O made a joke about not being interested in video games at all, and I can see that being the case. Preston and Ryan would just be utterly befuddled as to why you care so much about video games. It just wouldn’t click with them. But they still love you and will put up with you ranting about it from time to time :)