#i love a good emotions set i can't lie

[leclercings]

Crush | Charles Leclerc x Reader

Genre: Angst, Pining

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Summary: You're in love with your best friend, Charles Leclerc, but he doesn't know it…

A/N: Unrequited love sucks. It inspired me to write this though. Hope you all like it!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Masterlist

A plethora of outfits are casually thrown around your room. You sigh, trying to figure out what to wear. 

You want to text Charles so badly to get an opinion but you stop yourself from doing it. He is out with his girlfriend, and you don't want to disturb him. 

You feel a horrid emotion in your gut.

A pang of jealousy.

The emotion spreads across your entire being and you lie down on the bed angrily, not caring about the mess around you.

You huff, staring at the ceiling, lost in thoughts.

It's always him, isn't it?

Charles Leclerc. Your best friend.

You've loved him for over twelve years, yet you've always accepted the position of a wingwoman when it comes to his love life.

You've watched him switch girlfriends in the blink of an eye, you've analysed every single relationship that he's ever had, you've been a patient listening ear to his love life woes, and you've even set him up with your friends. You remember the name of every single girl he has dated, how they started and ended.

All because you want to be a supportive best friend.

But what about your own heart?

After a lot of contemplation, you choose a green sundress- the colour reminding you of his eyes, and beautiful eyelashes, and how when he looks at you, your heart skips a beat.

You snap out of your thoughts back to your room, looking around. You don't feel like cleaning up. 

Your phone pings with a notification. It keeps buzzing, and you try to find it among the stack of clothes everywhere. 

You feel a firm cool object in your hand, buried deep in the middle of your clothes. You check it excitedly, wondering if he has texted you.

You feel disappointed when you see it's from your Mom. She wants you to bring wine for today's lunch.

You try to calm down. You're acting like a teenager. You need to let go of him.

But you can't.

You see another notification.

You open your email. It's from Versace. You gasp. You had given an interview to intern at Versace as a Junior designer. 

You've been accepted. You let out a loud squeal.

As you go through the email, you feel so many emotions at once. You're excited as well as nervous. 

There's one catch though- it's in Milan.

Monaco is everything you have ever known. You don't know if moving to Milan for this would be a good idea.

You keep wondering about it as you get ready, wearing your dress. You finish up with your makeup and look in the mirror.

Today is Lorenzo’s engagement party. Charles will be there. So will be his girlfriend.

Another pang of jealousy hits you.

You don't recognise the person staring back at you. Maybe, just maybe, you need a break from all of this.

From your feelings. From Charles.

Milan would be a good change.

*****

You arrive at the Leclerc's home for the party.

Pascale welcomes you with the biggest smile on her face. She has always considered you her family. 

“Hello, dear,” she hugs you tightly.

You control your emotions. Nobody knows your good news yet, but you'll miss this warmth if you move to a new city.

“Hi,” you reply, giving her the wine you've bought.

As if on cue, your mom comes from the kitchen.

“Y/N!” She comes and hugs you tightly. It feels nice to be loved. You've been feeling a little drained these days because of your strong emotions but being with your mom makes it all go away in a second.

Love is a powerful emotion. We all crave love in some form or the other- wilting like a flower if you don't get it from the right people.

“Mom.” You speak, adjusting her messy hair. “We need to talk.” You whisper gently in her ear and she nods.

“Pascale,” You address Pascale, “Could I steal my mom for a moment?”

“Sure,” Pascale replies.

You and your mom go to the balcony. Your mom looks worried.

“What happened, dear?” She asks you.

“You remember I’d applied to Versace?”

Your mom bites her lip nervously, trying to figure out what you're talking about.

It clicks.

“Let me guess, you got the internship?”

You widen your eyes in surprise. How does she know?

She chuckles.

“You're the best there is, love. Of course you were going to get it.”

You sigh. “But it means I'll have to move to Milan.”

“You need the change, my love. I think it's for the best.”

When your mom echoes your own thoughts, you feel like it's alright to move away from Monaco for a bit.

You smile at her.

“Let's join everyone?” 

By the time you get back to the garden, you see Charles is there.

Your heart does a somersault. He's wearing a white shirt and khaki pants. He looks breathtakingly gorgeous. You notice the small figure standing beside him.

“Y/N!” He spots of you and comes to hug. You inhale his sweet scent. It's a little intoxicating. “This is Alexandra, my girlfriend.”

Alexandra gives you a soft smile.

“Hi Y/N, I've heard a lot about you.”

“Hopefully all good things.” You shake her hand.

“Yes of course. Charles admires you so much.” 

This makes you blush. You see Alexandra’s expression changing for millisecond before regaining her composure.

The lunch goes by smoothly. Everybody's happy and gladly celebrating Lorenzo’s milestone.

By the end of it, most people have left. It's just your family and Charles’s family.

You're all sitting in the garden, chilling. 

“Everyone!” Your mom calls out.

“We have a news to share,” she says, after a little bit of a pause.

You know what's coming. You shake your head at your mom who simply gives you a smile.

“Y/N got an internship at Versace!” She squeals loudly.

Everybody starts cheering except Charles, who stares at you, hurt.

You gulp. You hadn't told Charles about it. You had meant to- but he was so busy racing and then with his girlfriend that you never found the right time.

“Congratulations!” Pascale raises a toast, and everyone follows.

You give them a sad smile.

“I'll be moving to Milan in a few months…” You say, avoiding Charles’s gaze.

He crosses his arms. He gets up and leaves to go inside.

Your mom notices it and mouths you to follow him. 

You shrug. She gestures you again and you follow her instructions. 

There's a small hope inside of you. Maybe if you confess what you're going through, you'll feel a little better.

“Charles,” you go after him. He's probably going to his room.

“Charles, wait!” You say loudly, and he pauses just as he's about to close the door to his room.

“What, Y/N?”

“Charles, I'm so sorry.”

“Really?”

You nod.

“I thought we were best friends who told each other everything.”

“I know, I'm sorry. You were just too busy and I didn't want to distract you.”

“You, distraction? Oh come on.”

He leans against the doorframe- a gesture you find extremely sexy. Your heart starts beating faster as he stares at you with his beautiful green eyes. Ones that match with your sundress. Ones that match with nature.

“I'm just a little hurt that you didn't tell me about-”

You interrupt him with a kiss.

He pauses, pulling away, staring at you incredulously.

A split second later, his lips meet your again.

The kiss is passionate. Like a storm. Like two people with buried feelings that surfaced out after a long time.

He leans his forehead against yours.

“Shit,” You both say at the same time.

[irisintheafterglow]

the first time you tell opla!zoro that you love him, you're not sober either. (part one here!)

"i just-i just don't know what to do," you sniffle, another wave of emotions leaking through your tired eyes and onto your tear-stained shirt. "i'm so in love with him it makes me physically ill, nami."

"mhmm, i can tell," she replies absentmindedly, taking another sip from her drink in the musty light of the bar.

"nami," you plead, wasted out of your mind with your cheek pressed against the dirty table.

"sweetheart," she replies with the same melodrama, unable to hide the amusement in her voice.

"i'm so sad." your voice breaks on the last word and you make a loud hiccup-like noise that has the other guests of the bar eyeing you warily. you couldn't guess how long it'd been since you dragged nami from her hammock to go drink your sorrows away. to her credit, she stayed with you until her patience was thinner than a paper cut.

"i know you are," she says slowly after you'd gone over the same topic about four times in the last five minutes. "look, i feel like you should just tell him. he already told you his feelings."

"see, but that's the thing." she shoots you a skeptical look and you sigh back at her. "what if he's lying? or if he didn't actually mean it?"

"why would he lie about something so significant as that?"

"i don't know, maybe he thought i was someone else-"

"from what you've very thoroughly informed me, he expressed his feelings for you, and only you," she reminds you, tilting her glass toward you for emphasis. her gaze flicks up behind you and she raises her eyebrows briefly, like whoever was approaching was another tool for her entertainment. "tell him. it's now or never."

"what the hell do you-"

"you're out of your mind if you think it's okay to get them drunk before a mission." his voice immediately sobers you, white-hot shame coursing through your veins as you sit up and try to make yourself look presentable. thankfully, he's glaring daggers into nami, who merely shrugs and offers something about being here for a good time, not a long time. "c'mon, i'm taking you back to the ship," he mutters, lifting you from your seat and letting you grab his unfairly strong bicep for stability.

"why'd you come get me?" your steps wobble slightly on the cobblestone, but zoro's determination to keep you upright is unwavering. "i could have gone home with nami."

"i got worried about where you were. thought something happened."

"nothing happened except alcohol and feelings," you drawl absentmindedly, the airy feeling in your mind becoming fuzzier the longer you're with him.

"ah, two of my favorite things."

"liar, you only talk about your feelings when you're drunk." blinking slowly to recenter yourself, you cut him off before he can counter your accusation. "like, the other night. when you told me you loved me." the words slip out unplanned and his body becomes deathly still next to you, his arm so tense you could mine it with a pickaxe.

"i said...what?"

"that you loved me and that it was a secret," you say plainly, glancing at him to find his face a nearly imperceptible shade of pink. "what's with the blush?"

"it's nothing," he says quietly. sober you would have left the conversation at that, respecting his need for privacy and security about his private feelings.

drunk you, however, has no such manners.

"look at you, all red and shit." his ears become an even deeper shade of pink and you can't help laughing at his poor attempt to hide his embarrassment. "you wouldn't be so flushed if it was actually nothing, so what is it?"

"it's nothing," he restates. "it doesn't matter."

"it matters to me. you matter to me." his face feels like it's been set on fire and every place your body is making contact with his feels like an electric current. did you have any idea what your words were doing to him, he wondered. sure, what you said made his brain go foggy like the island coastline in the morning, but what you made him feel was so much worse. you made him feel so lovesick, it pained him.

"the sentiment is reciprocated," he murmurs low enough that you can barely hear him. even while you're dancing around in the streetlights, you've never looked so beautiful to him.

"can i tell you a secret?" he swallows thickly, unsure of how to continue navigating this situation. he settles for nodding, every movement restrained to keep from kissing you until the only oxygen in his lungs has gone through yours first. "you can't tell anyone, though."

"i'm a great secret keeper."

"no, you're not," you reply instantly and his mouth gapes indignantly. "you told me your biggest secret and you don't even remember it."

"fine. i won't tell anyone what you tell me, then. i don't know about anyone else," he promises. after what seemed like an eternity, he finally helps you into your hammock, taking great care to make sure you don't fall out. "if i do tell someone, you can kick me in the balls."

"enticing offer," you laugh and his mouth quirks in a half-smile that you only saw once in a blue moon.

"so, the secret?"

"oh, right," you whisper sleepily. "the secret is that i love you too. i love you so much that i want to throw up."

"i think that might be the alcohol, doll," he murmurs, his fingers gently brushing your cheek. "sober you and sober me need to have a long talk in the morning."

"we said that last time but didn't do shit about it."

"well, i think it's time i did something about it." your eyebrows furrow, completely forgetting anything you'd just talked about. it's okay, he figures. he'll show you how much you mean to him when you're both ready.

"did something about what?"

"how much i love you, too."

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[goldsainz]

HIS LUCKY CHARM — one shot.

pairing: lando norris x reader

MASTERLIST.

summary: lando is disappointed you can’t make it to his home race, only to be surprised at the end.

request: “Hi! Could you write something about Lando and reader when she surprise him on race day. Lando is sad when she told can't do this on his home race bc something important with her work but after all she appears on Sunday on track. He is more than happy with that and archive good resolut be she is his lucky charm”

warnings: teeny tiny bit of angst, a probably not accurate depiction of the garage

NOTE: WHAT A RACE!! loved the lando+lewis podium, also oscar was great 🫶 anyway, to celebrate have this little thing, thank you sm for requesting bc this inspired me a lot (you kinda manifested the good result???) i added a shameless cameo in there, i just couldnt help myself! (the ending is rushed, ignore it😁)

[ word count: 2,2k ]

“I’m so sorry, Lando.” Is what you say to your boyfriend when you have to break the bad news to him.

“It’s okay.” His face breaks into a broken smile, with glossy eyes he holds your hands and brushes his thumbs up and down your palms.

“I’ll still tune in.” 

“I know.”

“I’ll be rooting for you.” 

“I know.”

You take your hands from his hold, and place them around his neck. You watch as his right posture lightly relaxes at your touch. 

“I don’t wanna miss it. You know I don’t.” 

You wish your job wasn’t as demanding as it was, that it didn’t make you fly to another country in the middle of your boyfriend’s home Grand Prix. But it does. And you’re not sure how to handle the emotional stress it inflicts on you both, and you sure hope it doesn’t affect him in a way that will mess up his race.

“And if I could make it, I would.” 

“It’s alright. It’s your job, I know it’s not your fault.” Even though Lando’s words seem reassuring, and he means them with his whole heart; you still feel guilty. 

With that, he stands up and makes his way to the kitchen of your shared apartment. You watch him leave, and with a heavy heart start to pack whatever stuff you need for your trip. It destroys you to see him sad so close to his home race, a time where he should be joyous, only worried about the car and nothing more. 

You’re not sure how you’re going to make it up to him, but you will.

Somehow.

You were being a little secretive, and you were sure Lando definitely noticed. 

Your boss and you had managed to come to an arrangement which allowed you to be present for the race. It would all be very tight in timing, but nothing that couldn’t be accomplished. It involved a lot of overworking the days before, but it was very much worth it.

You could already imagine the face Lando would make when he finally saw you. Whether he got a good result or not, there was no doubt you wanted to be there with him. 

It took a lot of care for you to arrive at the paddock almost incognito, with fans already speculating why you weren't at his home race. Thankfully no break-up rumours had surfaced, but there were a couple hurtful ones that made you want to be present even more. 

But you knew that no matter how much Lando acted like he was oblivious to what happened around him, his silly act was simply that; an act. You didn't like keeping secrets from him, it felt wrong to have to blatantly lie to him whilst everyone around him knew something he didn't. Still, it would all work out in the end.

Lando’s family had been so happy to see you in the paddock. His grandma (who adored you) hugged you as tightly as she could, quickly bidding you goodbye when you told her you had to go to the garage quickly to get prepared for the race. 

There was no doubt that the tingly feeling of nerves creeped up on you the moment you spotted all the engineers and people moving around, getting everything that needed to be set up wrapped up so the race could go smoothly. Zak was already at the pit wall, and Lando was sitting in his car ready for the formation lap to begin. 

At the garage you spotted Florence Pugh, who had a McLaren headset on. You had seen her on the paddock, but wasn't aware of the fact that she had come to the race invited by McLaren. You tried not to freak out, you saw celebrities almost everywhere when you came to races or went out with Lando. Still, the actress had a special place in your heart.

It took a little of hyping yourself up, and confidence to walk up to her, but you did. You would be sharing the garage for an hour and a half, the least you could do is socialise a little. 

“Hi! I’m Y/N.” You said to Florence watching her turn around with a smile on her face.

“Hello!” She says, greeting you like you were an old friend. “I’m Florence”

“You’re a McLaren fan?” 

“Honestly, I’m more of a Lewis fan.” She said with a laugh, keeping ehr voice just loud enough so you could hear her.

“I get that. I mean, who isn’t?” 

The conversation flowed for a little more until the race was about to start. You excused yourself and moved to an area closer to the screen, where you could watch Lando close-up. You loved being in the garage because of the different screens and the attention to their drivers, that allowed you to experience the race in different ways.

Your headset was adjusted and you were awaiting the moment where David Croft would say it’s lights out. Your knee was slightly bouncing, but you tried your best to contain the nerves. 

“It lights out and away we go!” Exclaims David Croft, his voice echoing through the garage.

You watch as Lando has a great start, and it takes about a second for him to take the lead. You hear the roar of the crowd before you can even react.

“Yes! Go Lando!” You scream, your voice doesn't make anyone flinch because everyone around you has the same reaction. It is a sight to behold, a moment you are more than grateful to see live. 

“I can’t believe it.” Someone next to you says, and you can't help but smile. 

It is no secret how badly the season started for McLaaren. You watched Lando’s smile waver more than once, his faith in the team never wavering, but still. He was rightfully let down by the performance of the adr,a dn you had to reassure him multiple times that it wasn't his fault. Because he was doing the best that he could with what he had. 

So now, seeing him get to this moment, is absolutely deserved.

A couple of laps go by and Max takes the lead for your boyfriend. There is disappointment in the atmosphere, but everyone knows that P2 is a miracle and that Lando is doing absolutely great work out there. They all know how great it would be to have him finish in that position, especially since Oscar is P3. 

Getting a podium in Silverstone would mean the world to Lando, Which is why you're worried about what will happen when they pit. Whatever strategy they choose will determine if Lando gets podium or not, and you will not pretend to really know what happens or how they come up with strategies, but you hope that they dont mess up his race because of wrong timing or choose the wrong tyres. 

As you watch his car race, you suddenly see on the screen that one of the Haas cars has come to a halt. A safety car is deployed, which means a couple of cars will choose to change tyres. The whole garage groans when Lewis’s car comes out in front of Oscar’s after he pits, now challenging Lando’s position.

It’s like you can’t breathe between those laps that Lando and Lewis battle for P2. Everyone is at the edge of their seats watching them race against the other, and you hope that this doesn't end up running both their races. The last thing anyone wants is for them to crash, because going from that position to a DNF would result in disappointment for everyone involved.

“Come on, Lando! Come on!” You scream, your palms intertwined in front of you as you watch him fight for his position. 

Thankfully, Lando manages to maintain his standing and leaves Lewis behind him for good. The hard compound tyres he was pitted for are giving him a tough time, you know that it is not ideal. Not when he could've lost his position, but with just 10 laps to go your faith in him is over the roof. 

You’re on twitter, refreshing your timeline to see if there is anything you missed. The fans are so enthusiastic, their comments make you smile. Even if there are people out there who don't like Lando, there are even more who love him and want nothing but the best for him. 

You watch as Florence is escorted out of the garage since she will be waving the flag. You watch her face light up in excitement, and in all her excitement she still waves at you. You don't waste a second in waving right back at her, turning your head right after to the screens.

The moment Lando crosses the finish line the McLaren garage erupts in cheers. You hug whoever is next to you, a teary smile pulling at your lips. You cannot help the tears that fall down your face, you usually don't get that emotional during a race, but this is his home race and he is on the podium. If there is any time to cry, this is it. 

You are almost running to the barriers, waiting for the moment that Lando steps out of his car and goes to celebrate with the team. You are wearing his merch, something that will surely stand out to him, enough that in his podium haze he will spot you. 

He goes up to the team, his helmet now long gone, and that is when he sees you.

You who told him you couldn't make it, are suddenly there. 

In a flash he moves in front of you. You cannot tell him anything because in an instant he is grabbing you, squeezing you so tight he lifts you up from the ground in excitement, you giggle right in his ear and he is sure that that is the most beautiful sound he will ever hear. He is careful not to take the barrier with him, not wanting a warning from the stewards.

After a couple seconds you pull back slightly enough to see his face. Your hands waste no time in grabbing his face and placing his lips right over  yours. Lando reacts almost immediately, melting right into the kiss, the adrenaline from the race still pumping through his veins. You can hear some cameras click, and the cheer from some people, but you ignore it.

You have to pull back eventually, not because you want to, but because there is so much to say and not enough time, not to forget the fact that he has yet to go to the podium.

“I cannot believe you’re here.” He whispers right over your lips, his sticky forehead pressed against yours.

“I couldn’t miss this.” You say, watching as his lips pull into a grin.

“I was pretty cool out there, wasn't I?” You snort at his words, separating from him but his hands never leave your waist.

“Oscar was really cool.” His grip on your waist tightens, “I haven’t properly congratulated him yet, actually.”

Someone from the team says something to him, you're sure they're telling him to wrap your conversation up because he has to go up to the podium. 

“You were great out there.” You tell him, your eyes holding all the sincerity in the world. You watch his gaze soften at your words, and he places a quick peck as he finally lets you out of his hold.

“Of course I was,” You shake your head at his smugness, “My lucky charm was here.”

You cannot help the tears that well up in your eyes at the softness of his words. You know that the celebrations and compliments are not over, but for now they are. You step back a little from the barrier, seeing as he is rushed to the podium and joins his fellow drivers on the steps. 

You smile up at him, watching as he grabs the champagne. He moves it around a little and then hits it against the ground, effectively bringing back the iconic champagne spike he does whenever he is on the podium. 

Lando sprays it everywhere, and you're almost sure a little hits you. Your theory is confirmed when he is smiling widely at you, like a kid caught doing something he should but isn't the least bit sorry. You laugh at his antics, which in turn makes him smile even wider (which you're not sure how it's even possible). 

When the champagne runs out, his gaze catches yours once more. You mouth an “I love you” to him, watching from afar as he blushes. A second after he returns the sentiment, mouthing it back and blowing you a kiss.

You thank your boss in your head for letting you be here with him, because if you hadn't been here with him you would've sure felt horrible for it. 

After all, Lando needs his lucky charm with him and you're more than happy to oblige to his wishes.

[eldritch-spouse]

One of your stronger demon oc’s: hey babe you interested in trying a new kind of foreplay? It’s called demonic possession

Their match: *looking confused* you already possess me though?

[Already talked about Livius with this, so why not good old Santi? Fem reader.]

The incubus laughs.

It's that same old rich, deep noise that had your knees weak the first time you heard it, and still manages to make you warm up briefly. Santi gives you a calm, lidded and loving look, it feels just the tiniest bit patronizing.

" Mm, that I do. "

He swirls his glass of sangria idly. You know he's not going to drink, its only purpose is to match your own set of cutlery, to make it feel as if Santi is having dinner with you, when he's really just keeping you company as you fulfill your basic human needs. You can't really complain about this though, the demon goes out of his way to order excellent dishes for you, and he never fails any of the "human meals in a day", as he put it.

" However- " The world rolls off his mischievous tongue. " I was using the word in a literal sense, love. "

You choke on the steak. " E- Excuse me? "

His head tilts, some sort of realization coming over that pale face when he studies your reaction. " No no, excuse me- I should have explained this to you better. "

Santi steeples his fingers for a moment, pauses, then plays with the glass some more, tracing its golden rim.

" You're familiar with the concept of demonic possession, right? " He starts, tone slightly more serious.

A shiver crawls up your spine, not exactly the most pleasant kind. " Y... Yes. Isn't it something horrific though? It's supposed to hurt! And deform someone's body! It can kill me! Why would you- "

" Easy. " Santi calls, watching your rambling get out of hand.

" Santi, that's insanity! You want to make me crawl the walls and start chanting things?! That arouses you? I don't think my body can- "

" Love. "

The more forceful tone silences you, but by no means is your apprehension quelled. Your appetite seems to fade in the face of possible danger.

There's a sigh from the monster in front of you.

" And this is why your silly little horror movies keep causing a divide in our society... "

That catches your attention.

A less inviting frown sits on Santi's face. " Possession gets an incredibly harmful reputation from your precious Exorcist movies. Each one more ludicrous than the last. "

It's your turn to frown. " Don't sit there and tell me that those things don't happen, Santi! Possession is done for all sorts of things and I'm not stupid enough to buy a lie that it's all sunshine and rainbows... "

You expect him to get even more upset, but instead, the incubus shakes his head, setting the glass down to look you in the eyes. " But it doesn't have to be that way, love. "

He continues when all you do is cross your arms.

" You've seen a hundred movies about demons with ill intent tarnishing the bodies of surfacers... But you've never seen a movie about a demon possessing the person they love, have you? "

Silence. He lets those words splay onto the table like a winning hand in a tense game of cards.

And, truth be told, you have nothing to counter that with. Because he's right. You have never heard of such a thing as possession between lovers.

" ... That's real? "

" More than real. " The high-ranker responds softly. " It's one of the most intimate thing you can do with an infernal partner. " Some of that earlier playfulness shines again. " And it can be so fun. "

You gulp, looking to the side. " It's dangerous. "

" Not if done properly. " Santi's quick to cut in. " A calm, willing vessel and a strong emotional connection will make it a much smoother process than the painful spasms you're privy to in your Halloween hits... "

It seems he has an answer for everything.

" Not to mention, as the bearer of my mark, you already have a little bit of me in you. It wouldn't be your body's first contact with my essence. " He's back to tracing the rim of the bottle, smelling it briefly, sharp pupils watching the berries in it sway before studying you once more.

" Why... Why do you want to do this? " It still sounds strange to you.

The dark fiend is silent for a few seconds, then leans forward on the table, glass set back down so his chin can rest on the palms of his hands. A grin with more teeth than lips threatens to cleave his face.

" Because it gets me really hard. "

... Can't fault him for lack of honesty.

Clearing your throat, you take a sip of your drink so you can think of what to say next. You need to pick your words right or this conversation will escalate to Santi playing with himself at the table.

" I could guess as much. "

" You're still hesitant. " He points out, piercings jingling as he tilts his head.

" I guess... What I'm more worried about is, how long it'll last. What you're going to do. What... What're the terms? "

His brows raise. " Treating this like a deal? How clever of you! Alright, here are my terms. "

Santi straightens, and although his smile is endlessly lascivious and wanton, he speaks clearly and slowly.

" I want to possess your delicious body for three days and three nights. During that time, you can hear, see, smell and feel everything that happens. You can talk to me and you will be given periodic control to perform certain tasks. "

He starts.

" I want to use it for both our pleasure, and I will be having sex with people I determine can service us well. I will not disclose to these people that you are possessed. " There's a beat of silence, before he adds something in forethought. " Although it may look as if some acts will be painful, you have my word that only pleasure will reach you. "

The meaning is not lost on you. " So you want to make me sleep with huge monsters? "

Santi winks, amused to be caught.

" That's relative, isn't it? What monster isn't huge compared to a human? Why I'm fairly huge to you. "

Your eyes roll. " What a charming non-answer. "

The incubus' jovial laugh is almost infectious.

" Come now, we'll see. "

It's your turn to make a move. Wide, blinking puppy eyes are cast towards the handsome demon. " Can't you even give me a pointer, it's my body after all... "

" Is that an agreement I hear? " He hums.

" Answer the question. "

Santi makes a quiet chuckle. " Very well. " Dark knuckles crack, he stares off for a moment, licking his chops. It's the signature look of a pervert looking forward to the near future.

" I have an idea as to who our first bedwarmer can be- "

" Of course you do. "

" I really do. " He snorts, the suave look breaking entirely for half a second where his amusement is so great he cannot help it. Santi waves for you to keep eating, waiting until you have a bite to continue.

" So, there's this bakery close enough, I've been meaning to take you there for a while now because I hear stuff there is divine. Anyhow, the guy in charge of it is really interesting. You know mindflayers? "

The very same bite you just took flies out your mouth, back onto the plate. The incubus stares at it for a second, then wheezes quietly. " Taking that as a yes. "

" Aren't mindflayers... Kind of reclusive? And evil? "

" Well, typically, yes- "

" And this one runs a bakery? "

" That's what I said- "

" What is he selling, brain croissants?! "

Santi barks out a laugh that nearly sends spittle across the table, having to look away from you, clutching his midsection and cackling like a madman.

" That's the thing- " The incubus clears his throat, nearly losing his composure again. " This one is very interesting. He's uhm- I'm not sure what the process is called, but he's a loner. Swore off people brains, or so he says. Trying to make an honest living! "

Slowly, you try once more to finish your meal. " And you want to fuck with him. "

" No... " The way his lips wobble at your deadpan is enough of a tell. " I want you to fuck him."

You make a face at the idea of laying with a mindflayer.

" Mhm, don't look at me like that. " Santi purrs.

Beneath the table, you feel his tail gently loop around your ankle, squeezing.

" Have you never thought about it? What can a lover with such long tentacles do to a cute little thing like you? How will he take advantage of your weak, simple-minded nature to do whatever he wants? "

When you gulp, it's not just because you need to swallow your current mouthful.

" Let me paint the scene, love. "

The incubus seems to be getting short of breath, the thrill of his own lurid fantasy forcing him to bite his lip and trace his own horn piercings with restless fingers.

" You're hardly dressed, the peaks of your nipples poking out a sad excuse of a top and your skirt so short the smallest brush might bare your cuntlips. You're hungry, we're hungry, so you walk into this cozy looking bakery to get yourself something sweet. Oh and many are the treats in that glass display, but the most appetizing of them all is the big man carrying a hot tray from the kitchen. He's tall, a peculiar mindflayer with a strange skintone and unusually thick build, his tendrils cascading longer than you'd expect. The look on his face is one of complete focus as his boots thump softly on the ground. Until he sees you, that is- "

Your attention to this little tale he's spinning is more rapt than you'd care to admit. Not that you need to, Santi can tell.

" His latest client. A human girl with this cute little smile and doe eyes. Mister Roland, you ask so sweetly, I've been told such wonderful things about your talent and pastries. You're oh so charming, so enticing, the poor baker can't deny the thoughts that course through his perverted mind. He wants to bend you over his counter, wants to spread you out before him and force your legs apart with his long nimble appendages. You'd make such a fine stress-reliever to rut into during breaks, wouldn't you? And you'd love getting stuffed full of illithid cock, right? You're begging for it after all... "

" God, Santi- " You mutter under your breath.

" Hm... Maybe all it takes is some simple conversation, letting those fantasies foment in his mind, building into a desire so pungent it would make even me crawl the walls. You tilt your head, kick your legs, lid your eyes and invite him away. He wouldn't mind a little interruption, surely. And then, oh then- With a little bit of my help, you'd turn him into a drooling beast. A species thought so impervious to all sorts of manipulations, all but barely able to think of anything except the taste of your pussy, the hug of it around his cock- He's lonely, lonelier than he's ever been now that he's on his own. You're probably the first thing he's going to fuck in a small eternity. Ideally, we get him here. Want to know why? "

Santi points to the bedroom, where a large mirror resides.

" I want to see him hold you up in those practiced hands and pound you into a pulp with his tendrils wrapped all around you, neck tits thighs, flicking your dirty little clit- Oh he may not eat your brain, but he's certainly going to fuck it out of you. "

" Holy shit, Santi- " You nearly yell.

" Fun, right? I told you. You just have to start believing in me a little more. " He's back to weirdly smelling the sangria.

The silence that follows is thick and heady, he lets you process the canvas he painted for you with a soft rumble of anticipation. You dare not look into Santi's eyes, because the depravity you'll find there will doubtlessly steal your will.

Fork and knife neatly arranged, you push the plate forward.

" I... I want a safeword. "

The way he lights up like a Christmas tree is impossible to miss.

" Of course, love. " The incubus sighs dreamily. " We can pick one tomorrow. Now, if you're done eating, let's get you to bed. "

" Because, after all, you're going to have a long couple of days ahead of you. "

[just-some-random-blogger]

Safe Keeping | 6

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

What say you, lady? Don't you think the Hound would make a fine husband? He would protect you, yes, and you would bear him many babes." I curtsy again but this time, my voice falters when I speak, "I- I think he would," I turn to my left, "Lord Sandor would make a fine husband... a fine father."

Sandor Clegane x Reader | 6k+ | cw: fem!reader, forced marriage, smut (piv, emotional sex, praise kink), enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, emotional unavailability, emotional vulnerability, The Hound being abrasive, miscommunication, baby fever, fluff!, typos, etc.

A/N: i said i'd end this on p5 but i think i'll be ending at p7 HAHHAH lol. originally posted on ao3 but felt like posting it on here

Tagging: @otteropera @poisonsage808 @glitterandgoldfinds @the-queen-of-sorrows @minttea07 @fluffpudel @j3nn-1 @jelsasnowflakes1

"My lady," followed by high pitched barking made me turn around from where I sat in the garden.

Maester Yannick was walking over to me, with three puppies on his trail. He lifts his robe when he feels one of the critters nip at it. He hisses at them and tells them not to bite. Rose barks and takes it as a challenge.

I chuckle and shush her, raising a finger as I bend down to reinforce the discipline.

Rose looks at me then scurries off.

I straighten up on the bench as Yannick sits beside me. We both then turn to the soldiers in the making, training across the grounds of Brown Wood.

The Hound barks at them when they get their positions wrong.

"He is lovely today," Yannick tells me.

I turn to him and chuckle, but nod nonetheless.

He continues observing my husband, "he's been training long, hasn't he?"

"Mmm. Perhaps a couple hours," I look back at Sandor, "why? Do you think it is bad for his wounds?"

"I think it is bad for you," he looks at me.

I pull my head back, "me?"

The maester stands, "you are wasting precious time. Both of you are in good conditions," he links his hands together, "for the good of your house, it would be wise for you to be more... vigilant about producing heirs."

I feel my face drop and burn.

"As you know, my lady, the herbs I make for you are not cheap. It would be a shame to put them to waste due to a lack of effort."

I clear my throat and turn away from him.

Maester Yannick nods, "which reminds me, I will go and fetch you some tea right now."

I watch him walk away.

Once he was gone, my attention is averted back to Sandor. In truth, now more than ever has his hound persona been more apparent to me. Besides his fierceness, his snarling, his grit, the way he bared his teeth and howled at everyone, I could see his loyalty, his need to do good by the people in his life, his protectiveness, especially when it came to fighting, and his warmth.

I begin to think about Daisy. I turn to my side and watch as the pups begin to wreck the garden with their paws.

I find myself thinking about that night... that night when he said he loved me.

I rub my belly, not liking the way my stomach churned at my string of thoughts.

I watch as Sandor straightens up a boy, who was about to fall flat on his face, with one hand. He shakes his head at the child and says he can't fight if he's fighting himself too.

I imagine him speaking the same way to our son.

It was a horrible mistake. As quickly as I thought of it, I then remember telling him to give me a child by another woman.

I've set him free. He does not belong to me; in truth, he never did.

I quickly stand and wipe my face.

This was no longer leisure, this was torture.

I quickly run inside, retreating to my bedroom. Once I am there, I takes my shoes off, plop on my bed, and stare up at my ceiling. I look at the cobwebs in the distant corners and I wonder why I felt like crying but had no tears to shed. I lie there in silence, wishing nothing but to waste away.

I lift my head up from the sheets and turn to the door when I hear it open. I immediately stand and brush my skirts, "Sandor."

The feel of the cold floor on my bare feet send a shiver down my spine.

Sandor cautiously looks at me, "is everything alright?"

"Mmm?" I raise my brows, "what- why do you ask?"

"You ran inside and left your babes in the garden"

My lips part at his words. My hand instinctively comes to my belly.

"Pups," he raises a hand, "I meant pups. I didn't mean--"

Sandor is cut off by the voice of maester Yannick calling my name as he knocked on my door. Sandor opens the door for him and the old man enters, smiling when he sees the two of us. He is about to hand me the tea but then decides otherwise and puts it on my vanity.

He turns to Sandor, "I am pleased you decided to attend to your wife. Her fertility herbs are slowly being depleted. I was beginning to fear it would be for naught."

I grow frigid.

With that, the maester nods and exits, "please do enjoy each other's company."

The sound of the door closing leaves me red in the face. I lock eyes with Sandor then look away, clearing my throat. I flinch when he calls out my name.

I turn back and rub my arms, "yes... husband?"

"I didn't come here for that," he mutters, raising a hand cautiously.

My chest tightens. Of course not. I open my mouth, but he cuts me off before I could make a sound.

"I came to check if you're alright," he slowly steps forward.

I tense and nod, "I am well."

I feel my heart race when he takes another step towards me.

"Y-you needn't worry about me."

"I always worry about you," he mutters as he walks closer.

My words catch in my throat, "what?"

"Let me help you," he speaks, now only a few steps away from me.

My heart is pounding. I step back slowly, "h-help?"

"In the way only a man can," he lets out a heavy breath.

My calves hit the bed. I stop in my tracks and stand frozen. The Hound is now looking down at me. I am too overwhelmed by his presence to do anything else but stare.

The next thing I know, my gaze is drawn downward as he sits on the bed and peers up at my form.

"If you want a child from me," he whispers, "I'll give you one by no other woman but you." 

I look at him, heart in my mouth, body burning. I scratch my fingers and nod at his words.

Sandor sighs, "I need to hear you say it."

"I-" I shakily speak, "I want a child," I face him, "a child by you... my lord."

His brows knit.

My breath hitches when he touches my waist.

I can hear his heavy breathing as he whispers, "Sandor. Please."

I gulp as his palm rubs slowly across my belly. The action makes my skin prickle with goosebumps. My hand comes atop his. I oblige, "Sandor."

He gently tugs me in between his legs and my breath nearly escapes me. He rests his hands on my hips then pulls me in, sinking his face into my side. My ribs rattle with how quick my pulse was.

Sandor inhales deeply, "gods, you smell good."

I feel my body burn, "i-it's lavender oil."

I squeak when he pulls me down onto his lap. He cages me against him, my back flush against his chest. He sinks his face into my neck and slowly draws in a breath. His arms snake around me as he hotly speaks, "it's you, my pretty squirrel."

I feel his hands slowly lift my skirts up. My hands latch onto his arm that was still around my belly.

"Be calm, my wife, I cleaned up before coming here, in case I had to wipe your tears."

I make a sound as he knocks his nose into my jaw and exposes one of my legs to him. 

"I don't like it when you're upset."

My breath hitches, "I-I'm not upset."

"Good."

Sandor feels the goosebumps on my skin when his hand makes contact with my bare thigh. He shushes me as he rubs and kneads my flesh. I whimper and begin to squirm when his hand hikes up my inner thigh.

His fingers touch my clothed center. He breathes hotly against the pulse of my neck, "I'm going to take this off, mmm?"

I gulp and nod slowly at his words.

I maneuver with him when his hands come under my skirts to rid me of my smallclothes. He doesn't like the space that is created between us and rips me back into him. He ruts his hips into mine to add to his point.

I whine when Sandor's right hand rubs into my heat.

"Fuck," he hisses, "you've worked yourself up over nothing."

I make a louder noise when he prods his fingers into my pulsing entrance. I can feel his fingers slide with ease against my warm folds. I instinctively grip his arm when he sinks into me.

Sandor's other arm, in turn, tightens around me, "you can take it. You've taken more than my fingers, beautiful."

I whimper when he sinks another finger into me and begins to pump in and out. My breathing grows heavier and I throw my head back on his shoulder as he moves into me.

I feel his beard scratch into my neck. I feel his teeth graze lightly into my skin. His fingers languidly move in and out of me, even as I clench my thighs together. He makes no move to part them, and in truth, it doesn't hinder his movements at all.

I feel his tongue dart out on my neck, "I want to taste you."

I slowly lift my head from his shoulder just as he pulls his hand away from my thighs and brings his fingers into his mouth. I feel sobered by his action, taken aback by how filthy it was yet how eagerly he did it.

The next thing I know, he pulls back and lets my body fall in a space between his thighs. He quickly undoes his trousers. After, he pushes me onto my feet, and grips my hips. He rather impatiently rips up my skirts and I feel my thighs shake when he grips my bare flesh.

He pulls me back down on him, and I mewl when I feel his hardened length slip clumsily between my thighs, not yet entering me. I settle on him; the sensation of his clothes on my skin makes my belly roll.

"Fuck," he growls, as my thighs instinctively clamp around him. Sandor is unable to withhold the bucking of his hips.

When he does this, pleasure, crackling like embers, tingle up my body.

"Open up," he hisses, one hand coming between my legs, "I have to be inside you. I have to come inside, have to come inside your weeping cunny."

"Sandor," I whine as I slowly part my legs.

"I know, pretty squirrel. You're so worked up, for me," he breathes against my ear then nips at my lobe, "so fucking eager."

A drawn out whine escapes my lips when he sheathes himself into me.

He wastes no time in moving. I end up squeaking as he braces me against him and firmly thrusts upward into me.

My cries grow louder as his arms tighten beneath my breasts. I feel his hand knead one breast, but it doesn't last very long.

I am throttled onto my chest and pressed down on the sheets. Sandor lifted me up like I was nothing and adjusted me on the edge of the bed.

I'm barely on my tiptoes, as most of my weight was shifted on my spine from of how my husband was hoisting me up to cater to himself.

His movements quickly pick up the pace, and our position becomes reminiscent of the time he had me like this once before, only this time, his one hand was rubbing my scarred hip and he was much more vocal.

"Look at you, all bent over and mine," he groans.

I nails dig into the sheets.

"I'm gonna fill you up. You're going to be so fucking full of me."

I squeal into the sheets. The idea drives me wild. I plead into the bed but I don't think he hears it.

Just as I felt something begin to build in me, he slows.

I open my eyes, not realizing I had closed them as Sandor drops one of my hips. I squeak when I feel him grab my shoulder and slowly turn me on my back.

My jaw drops; I breathe heavily through my mouth. Sandor looks down on me as his hands grip my sides. He pushes me upward and presses my legs by my ribs

He slowly thrusts into me, hands working their way across my body. He rubs my thighs, my belly, my breasts. His brows furrow, "fuck. So fucking soft and warm."

He massages my breasts then works his way up to my shoulders. His one hand rubs my neck before clutching my jaw. His other hand slides back down my hips. I whine when his thumb rubs circles around my sensitive nub. It makes my toes curl.

He sighs, "so fucking beautiful."

I whimper when his other thumb swipes my lips. I find myself licking at it. It makes him groan and buck into me faster.

I push my head back and arch my spine, "fuck- Sandor."

Both his hands land on my hips. He digs his nails into my flesh and begins to move deeper. Eventually, he sinks one hand down by the side of my head for support. My hands latch onto his hips.

"Come for me, pretty girl," he groans, "I'm not gonna last much longer."

I tug at his clothes.

"Be a good girl and come all over my cock, mmm. I want to feel you tighten around me-- get all messy and wet and loud and," he gives deliberate thrusts, "so fucking beautiful."

I whine, "Sandor, I want- I want to-"

I begin to tighten and shake against him. My legs wrap around him and my hands cling onto him for dear life. I find it futile to conceal my sounds, as I cannot find the strength to shut my mouth as I ride the feeling of bliss.

With a loud cuss, Sandor rams into me as deeply as he can. His movements are rough and slow. Both of his hands secured on my waist as he spills his seed into me.

I can feel him throb and can feel myself dripping with warmth.

Sandor takes his time, really drawing out the feeling before slowly coming to a halt. He lets out a final moan when he does stop then takes a deep breath.

I look at him as he closes his eyes and straightens up. My body burns when he looks down at me through hooded eyes and rubs my body again. He enjoys rubbing my breasts the most.

My hands come to his arms, and that seems to stop him.

I am about to tell him not to stop, but he speaks before I can, "wrap your legs round me."

In truth, I didn't have to do anything as he wraps my legs around himself and picks me up in his arms. I hook my feet around each other and am careful not to touch his blistered back as my hands go to his shoulders.

Sandor crawls up the bed with me clinging onto him; I feel the strength in his muscles as he moves. He sets me down on the pillows. He arranges one under my head and brings one beside me.

He looks at me for a moment then whispers, "I'm going to pull away now."

He waits for me to respond before doing anything.

In truth, the thought of him pulling away from me makes my body ache with sadness, but I slowly nod anyway.

I close my eyes as Sandor gently draws away from me. My emotions immediately overcome me in my vulnerable state. I rub my eyes when I feel tears build behind my lids. Sandor fixes my skirt and gathers my legs together. I feel him take the pillow beside me and stuff if bellow my bum.

"This will help keep my spend from dripping out."

His explanation makes my body burn.

I feel Sandor shuffle beside the bed and I hear him fixing his clothing.

I clench my jaw, dreading what I knew exactly was to come next.

I open my eyes when he calls my name. I look at him pathetically, noticing how his skin glowed with sweat, the last evidence that he was ever in me beyond his untucked shirt.

He reaches out to me and I really don't want to take his hand knowing he'll leave me after, so I don't.

I have no idea why he still grabs my hand. The action feels like a betrayal. He rubs my knuckles before kissing them. I chew my lip, feeling wronged over the fact he has never kissed my lips and probably never will.

"I will be leaving now," he mutters.

His words gut me, as always. 

I rip my hand out of his and turn away from him, "very well."

Sandor knits his brows at the sharp withdrawal. He was gentle was he not? Still, he's being turned away.

His mouth goes dry. He slowly steps back, "I..."

I turn my body away from him. I draw in a deep breath and try to make my voice as even as possible, "thank you, Sandor."

Sandor flinches. He steps back some more, "I-I'll bring your dogs here for company."

I chuckle dryly. Company. My voice breaks, "I'm tired."

Sandor's mouth twitches. He backs all the way up to the door, "I'll let you rest then."

I cover my face with my arm and hum in agreement, not trusting myself to speak anymore.

The moment I hear the click of the door, I begin to sob. I whine as his words replay in my head. How could he tell me such things, call me beautiful and say he wants me, then leave me right after? How could he touch me like that then want nothing to do with me?

I pull the pillow from underneath my head and wail into it.

Sandor, who couldn't find it in himself to step away from the door, decides not to walk back in when he hears the crying. His belly curdles with self-loathing. He feels like he's going to choke because of how hurt the noise sounded, nevermind how lovely it was seconds ago; it meant for nothing.

He walks away trying to figure out where he went wrong. He relives every touch, every sound in his memory. His eyes water when he comes to the dreadful realization it must have been horrible being with him. He forced his wretched looks onto an unwilling witness.

He gulps as he sniffles and wipes his face in frustration. He feels like walking into the forest, never to be seen again, but then he steps out to the garden and hears small barking sounds. He looks at the three pups, playing with the boys, who should have been training, and feels his heart twist.

He finds himself imagining what the scene would've been like if Daisy was here... if his pretty squirrel-- he shuts the thought away.

I knock on Sandor's office door and enter when he tells me to come in.

He looks up, does a double take, then immediately stops doing whatever it was he was doing. He clears his throat, "Lady Clegane."

His words pierce through me. He's never called me that before. I close the door and walk towards him, "Lord husband. Good morrow to you. Where is Andrew?"

His shoulders tense, "he... should be here any minute."

I nod as I halt in front of his desk, "he has gotten good enough at reading and balancing coin, I hope?"

Sandor sighs, "yes."

I notice the crumbs on his beard, then I notice a plate on his desk. He must have broken fast here. I fidget with my fingers and wipe my chin, hoping he would get the message. He doesn't. I decide not to note on it and simply get to the point, "maester Yannick said your wounds have dried up, and that if you liked, you could go on your rounds again."

Sandor nods and straightens in his chair, "I think I'll start once I'm confident in the bloke balancing our coin."

I nod slowly and link my hands together, "alright," I shift in my spot and turn to the door.

I look back at him and feel my body burn under his scrutiny. I offer a smile, "that is all I wanted to say," I rub my hands together, "-wanted to check on you."

I gasp when he jumps out of his chair.

I clutch my chest and stare at him. He had an arm raised and reached out to me. It dawns on me he said something but it was too quick for me to catch.

I release a breath, "pardon?"

Sandor lowers his hand, rolls his shoulders back, and clears his throat, "I... I asked how you're doing."

It takes me a few moments to realize the meaning of his words. I shift and my spot and rub my chest. I feel my neck burn when he further clarifies his question.

"Yesterday, when we... bedded, I didn't hurt you, did I?"

I draw out a deep breath and smile softly, "you were... gentle with your touches."

Sandor is unsatisfied.

I aimlessly look around, "and, anyway, I am not as fragile as you think."

He purses his lips and tilts his head. He takes a moment before speaking, and when he does, he does so hesitantly, "I was afraid I made my pretty wife weep again."

I instinctively let out a laugh, but it was clearly unamused and pained. I feel like I was being scorched alive when I look at him looking at me. I shake my hands, suddenly in denial, "no, I was quite satisfied!"

Sandor's eyes widen a fraction.

Fuck. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. What am I saying?

He blinks twice and wipes his mouth. Finally his crumbs fall off. He mutters, "that's... good."

I release my final chuckle. He turns to his desk, fixes some things, then looks back to me. He looks like he means to smile but he doesn't, "I'm glad."

He slowly sits down afterwards.

I feel like I'm being weighed down by anchor.

That was it. That was the conversation.

Sandor is no longer looking at me. He shuffles the paper into a file and I slowly begin to feel the air around us thicken.

He sets the parchment down and darts his eyes to me. He purses his lips again and I catch the way his face twitches. He opens his mouth and slowly points to the door, "if that's all... I would not keep you."

I don't know why I laugh again, but I do. It's not even funny. I feel like being stabbed would have been better, more amusing at this point. I curtsy at him and shuffle backwards, "of course. I do not mean to keep you either."

Sandor feels sick. He clenches his fists and turns to his desk. He breathes in deeply, trying not to rile himself up any more than he already was. Gods knew he would use all his strength to keep this room locked.

I walk towards the door and turn the knob. I feel a wave of tears threatening to spill, and I slap my mouth when a squeak leaves me.

Sandor is immediately alerted. He looks up and pushes himself on the edge of the seat, "what?"

I turn to the ground and wipe my face. I take two seconds for myself then turn to him. I cover up with a chuckle, "I said... y-your beard."

Sandor immediately rubs his beard.

I chuckle louder, trying to convince myself that I actually found it funny, "you have crumbs on your beard."

Sandor looks at me like I grew another head.

I laugh enough that I actually start laughing at myself.

When I stop, the silence is loud.

Sandor clears his throat and cautiously asks, "you find that funny?"

My stomach drops when I see the red tinge of his ears. I walk up to his side and shake my head, "wait, no- I- I didn't mean it like that."

Sandor shakes his head and offers me a quick and small smile, "it's fine. I just wasn't expecting that from you," he looks back to his desk, "anyway, I'm used to it."

I feel like my entrails were being grinded.

A line forms in his brows, "I don't think I've ever heard you laugh before."

"I wasn't laughing at you!" I whimper under my breath. The air in my lungs begin to catch in my throat as I exhale, "I was just- I ju-"

Sandor turns to me, face slipping when he catches my teary eyes.

He stands and takes my shoulders.

I blink my tears away and smile in an attempt to calm myself. I am glad I do not shed a tear. I speak through a loud breath, "I'm just nervous when I'm around you!"

Sandor immediately releases me. He sighs through his nostrils, "scared, you mean."

I shake my head and take his shoulders, "nervous."

The Hound seizes up like there was a knife to his neck. I take a moment to look at him and pull back.

I cannot deny it hurt when he immediately steps away from me.

I really should have left at this point, but my mouth had a mind of its own. I furrow my brows and give him an earnest look, "I can trim your beard for you."

He steps back one last time, then looks at me as if I now had three heads.

I realize my mistake, "if-if you want me to. I'm not saying you should, I'm just offering to-"

"You want to do that for me?"

I turn to stone. I look around nervously, "mmm... o-only if you'd have it... ... my lord."

Sandor's face twitches. He sighs and slumps forward. He furrows his brows, "you'd be staring at my face the whole time."

I watch him as he rummages through his things.

My stomach rolls again and I step back, "ah... I see."

Sandor stops to look at me.

"If you do not feel comfortable, I will not..."

My words run dry when he pulls out shears. I watch him as he straightens up. He grips the tool in his hand, "it's you I'm worried about."

I look up at him, not knowing what to say.

"I don't mean to scare yo-"

"I'm not scared of you," I mutter.

Sandor stares at me. After a moment, he slowly takes my hand and hands me the shears, "maybe you should be."

My chest pounds at fleeting touch.

I cut his beard in the garden, as I didn't want to make a mess in his office.

He sits on the bench there.

The breeze blows at both our hair.

"You needn't touch me so gently, girl," he says, "it will take a lot of you to hurt me."

I do not change the manner in which I touch his cheek. I can feel Sandor looking at me, but I do not avert my attention away from his beard, "just because you do not hurt easily doesn't mean I cannot be gentle with you, Hound."

The Hound reaches out to my thighs when my foot rolls on a rock. I barely even fidget, but, still, he holds me in place to keep me from a potential fall. He does not release me. I gulp when I feel his thumb rub my skirt.

"You can hurt me if you like," he says.

I pull back and furrow my brows, "would you like that?"

He grinds his lower lip in his teeth. He debates for a moment and I decide to snip his mustache. I shush him when he tries to speak. He purses his lips tightly.

A moment passes with just the sound of cutting.

"I wouldn't want to cut your lips off," I shift in front of him, still ever so aware of his touch of my thighs, "you still need them to kiss."

I pull away to check if his mustache was straight. I notice his expression, dumbfounded, and continue snipping. I sigh, "that was a jest."

I pull away and again and move to the other side. Sandor still keeps his hands on me. He looks at me as I gently move his head.

I add, "I'm quite funny actually."

He chuckles lowly.

It makes my heart flutter.

He smiles, "oh, I don't doubt it, little girl."

I flatten my lips into a line, unsure if he was serious or not. I trim the hair by his jaw.

"You must like kissing then."

I freeze in my spot. I stop what I was doing, then continue, "what do you mean?"

He pulls his hands away. I watch him link them together and rest them on his lap. He shrugs, "you thought of kissing."

"Do you like kissing?"

I place a hand on my hip. He turns to me and shrugs again, "s'fine."

I furrow my brows and mimic his shrug, "well, you've never kissed me, so I wouldn't really know, would I?"

"You've never kissed a man before?"

"No," I impatiently respond, "I've kissed you, but you did not kiss me back," I take a few last cuts off his beard, "on our wedding day, remember?"

I see Sandor's look of disbelief when I finish and brush him off. Specks of hair fly off with the wind.

"You never kissed a little lord in secret as a little girl?"

"Only a big lord," I make a face, "as according to you I still am a little girl."

He stands from where he sat and peers down at me.

I purse my lips and cross my arms. I shrug, "point taken."

His brown eyes glimmer with confusion. I find myself raising my brows. Just as he is about to speak-

"MILORD, MILADY!"

We turn to the three young men walking over to us. I recognize them as Sandor's training apprentices. They push each other as I turn and smile at them.

"Good morn', lady!" Harry says, bowing exaggeratedly at me, "your dress is very rambunctious."

I furrow my brows at his words and find myself chuckling, "uhhh, thank you?"

Sandor raises his brows and curls his lips.

Daniel slaps Harry behind the head, "YOU MUG, D'YA KNOW WHAT YOU SAID, EVEN?"

Harry hisses and shoves Daniel, "DON'T HIT ME!"

Daniel gets shoved again when he incidentally elbows Richard, "OI, WATCH IT!"

The boys begin to quarrel. 

I step back before they can accidentally hit me, in turn, knocking my back into Sandor's.

"Enough!" the Hound barks, making the three brothers, or at least they acted like that, stop and turn to him.

My eyes widen at the sound of the Hound telling the boys off. I watch each of them tense as their Lord Clegane goes on a whole speech about biting off more than they can chew, and that, "if you lot want to act all tough around me, know I'll knock all three of your egg-heads with my hands tied."

I turn to the Hound, "Sandor."

He lets out a deep breath then eyes the three before him, "fuck off."

The boys immediately scram.

I bend over and grip my hips as I catch my breath. Lucy laughs at me as she beckons the puppies over with a stick. They come running over then she throws the stick for them to chase.

I huff, "these pups will be the death of me."

Lucy snorts, "and here I thought you wanted children."

I glare at her as the three small dark furred creatures begin to chase her around the garden as she runs. I call out in offence, "I do!"

Lucy runs over to me, "well, don't you know babes are far worse that this!" 

She giggles when she grabs my shoulders and uses me as a shield for the dogs. Though I was still winded, I laugh with her as the puppies prance around me. I grab Lucy's arm and begin to wrangle with her, "at least my babes will learn to speak. These pups know no sense!"

Lucy pushes me forward, encouraging me, "no, no, go on, s'your time to run, milady!"

I whine, "I really can't, Lucy."

"Oh, come on, lovie, you used to be full of energy! You're actin' as old as maester Yannick."

I hold back a laugh and shoot Lucy a look.

She shoots one back, "what? Did I lie?"

"Girls."

Lucy and I stop and turn to whom spoke. Sandor looks at us the way he always did, scrutinizing and serious.

I straighten up and nod in regard, "my lord."

Sandor sighs and looks away with annoyance. Wind blows his hair, adding effect to his expression. He looks down when the puppies begin to run towards him. They stand on their hind legs, pant, and bark. I swear I saw his exterior break into fondness.

But then he looks at me and it's all gone, "this came for you." He holds out a letter to me between his fingers, "I don't recognize the house sigil."

I walk up to him, smoothening my skirt out, then take the letter. I look at the wax seal for only a second then open the letter.

Sandor watches me raise my brows. He chuckles.

Lucy watches Sandor smile softly before purposefully frowning.

I look up at my husband, "it's from house Alistair."

Sandor's face scrunches up, "never heard of it."

I huff and delay my response to stop the puppies from chewing at the Hound's trousers. Sandor watches as I do this and gently shakes the puppies away. He takes my arm, preventing me from bending down, "I don't mind. They're just pups."

I give him a look, "if I don't stop them now when they're tiny, nothing will stop them when they're big."

Sandor watches as I sternly tell off the puppies and shoo them away. He chuckles at it, but then freezes when Lucy chuckles as well. The two make eye contact. Sandor doesn't have time to react.

"Cedric."

He turns to me, face contorting, "what?"

The puppies run off and Lucy runs along with them. I continue to explain, "Cedric is from House Alistair. You know, the lord that gave us a place to stay. You called him pretty bo-"

"I remember the fucker," he snaps.

I tense.

The Hound's nostrils flare, "what does he want?"

Suddenly, the letter in my hand feels heavy. I shrug, "he's invited us to his nameday celebration."

Sandor scoffs, "you mean he's invited you."

I release a frustrated huff when he begins to walk away. I follow after him and open the letter. I clear my throat and read aloud, "Fair greetings to Brown Wood, the home of House Clegane. May this letter find you in good spirits and health."

Sandor rolls his eyes as he walks back inside. He makes no haste, but I do, in order to keep up with him. I continue, "Seven days from now, I, Cedric Alistair, will be celebrating my--"

"I don't fucking care, little girl," he stops in his tracks and turns to me.

I nearly collide with him, but I gladly don't. I purse my lips and continue anyway, skipping to the part that holds my point, "if the Lord and Lady Clegane be so courteous in taking time out of their day to attend my feast, I would gladly-"

"Do you want to go, squirrel?"

I look up at him, blinking at the sight of his stern expression. I have to say, the omission of the word pretty for his petname made it feel... wrong. I clutch the letter by my belly, "he hosted us, me, Lucy... Daisy, even you, when we had nowhere to go. I think it only proper to attend his nameday to show appreciation and respect."

Sandor's eye twitches. He looks away and sighs.

I chew my lower lip, "he was kind to us, Sandor. I only mean to-"

"Fine," he cuts me off, "but if he touches you," he walks off, "I'm going to kill him."

His statement make my stomach churn. I cannot for the life of me understand what the intent of his words are. I chase after him again, "what if he asks me to dance with him?"

Sandor chuckles dryly, "a fine reason to chop him up."

He stops when I grab his arm. He looks at my hand on his bicep then gives me a look as I say, "you cannot kill him."

Sandor places his hand atop mine, "then don't fucking dance with him."

He squeezes my hand but it is not rough at all. It's gentle and extremely warm. He doesn't even try to pry my grip off, in fact, it's like he was tightening it on hm. My lips part and my body begins to burn.

I then realize when he was close enough for me to feel his breathing that he had been leaning in. I catch the way his eyes dart down to my mouth. I find myself slowly pressing my lips together.

I close my eyes when Sandor comes close to my cheek. I swear I felt my heart leap into my mouth when he pressed his face against mine.

He draws in a deep breath then sighs, "have you ever seen a hound share?"

The silence between us is deafening.

"Hmm?" he hums.

I open my mouth but nothing but mindless sounds leave me.

"I don't even think your pups do that."

My breath catches in my throat when he I feel his beard and his lips press gently against the crook of my neck.

Then the next moment, he releases me and pulls away like nothing happened.

We stare at each other for the longest second of my life. I feel like I'm on fire. What's worse is that I don't think he realizes just how affected I am, or actually... maybe it was good he couldn't tell I was dying inside.

"Still," he nods, "a dog is a dog and I will do as my master commands."

I feel light headed when he walks away.

I clutch my belly and walk to the nearest surface for support. I rub my neck, wondering if that really just happened.

[astraystayyh]

Backburner

Han x reader. Han is a toxic ex who won't let you move on. Angst.

Inspired by Backburner- Niki. skz song series masterlist

It's been seven weeks since you and Han broke up.

Not that you're keeping count, but it's easy to remember when he calls you every Saturday night. Without fault.

He's the one who broke up with you, flimsy excuses and teary eyes as he left your apartment. Talks about how he wasn't enough for you, how he couldn't be present for you, how he couldn't love you the way you needed to be loved.

But you wanted his love, not the one he suddenly deemed you worthy of.

Maybe that's why you still picked up, even though it's reeling you back to seven weeks ago when he had just left you. Han's no longer here and yet, he's not letting you move on. He's the perfume that lingers in the elevator long after the person is gone; he's the feeling of floating on the waves that sticks with you long after you come home from the beach.

He's an expert at kneading nostalgia into your soul, at holding you hostage by the ropes of your shared memories. You are a puppet in his hands, dangling over the edge of oblivion, only to be pulled back each time you attempt to forget.

And he's calling again, at 2 am, like he always does. You don't have to glance at your phone to know it's Han- you never changed the special ringtone you set for him. And you pick up, like you always do.

I can't lie it feels nice that you're calling

"Hey, were you sleeping?" he asks after a few silent beats.

"No, I wasn't."

He clears his throat, and you imagine him lying on his bed, fidgeting with the hem of his sweater. If you close your eyes long enough, you can still smell his cologne and the fabric softener he uses. Or maybe he changed it. You aren't around anymore to know.

"I miss you." His voice sounds broken, coming out in a strangled whisper. As horrible as it sounds, you enjoyed knowing that he felt as miserable as you- that his soul still ached for you as you ached for him.

You sound sad and alone, and you are stalling

He coughs again, trying to fill the silence from your end, but you don't budge. You never know what to expect from these calls. Sometimes he'd talk about his day, as if nothing happened, as if he was still your boyfriend and he was calling you on the way home.

Sometimes you'd both stay silent, your breaths the only thing echoing through the phone call. You'd put it on speaker and pretend he was there, lying next to you. That you'd wake up in the morning and find him smiling at your sleeping figure, his fingers gently brushing against your cheek.

And sometimes, he'd tell you how much he loves you. Those phone calls hurt the most, because if he loved you, he would have stayed, right?

I don't care about what you want, as long as you keep talking

"Yn, I... I really miss you."

"Han..." you trail out, as hot tears well in your eyes. It was hard not to crumble when he spoke this way, his words tugging harshly at your heartstrings. It brings you back to all the times he was away, bound by work obligations. How he always told you he missed you, and within it, a silent promise that he'd come back. That he'd unravel the need within you, filling every dent and crack in your heart since he left. Unlike now, gone for good.

"It's the truth, I wait all week for this one call. It's the only thing keeping me going."

Talking to Han makes you experience different emotions, all at once. Relief- when you hear his voice for the first time in a week, and you realize you still haven't forgotten how your name sounds rolling off his tongue. Sadness- when you remember that this is now the remains of your relationship. The pain wraps around you slowly- like vines intertwining themselves with old buildings, deserted just like your heart.

And then anger- when he says things like this; as if he isn't the instigator of this pain, as if some force greater than the two of you forced you apart. It maddens you, how he stabs you and then he weeps over your bloody body.

"Then why did you break up with me, Han? If it's hurting you this much then why are we even apart?" you ask, anger barely contained.

"I told you, I'm never here. You don't deserve a boyfriend like this," his tone is exasperated, as if this is a simple truth and you are supposed to swallow it down your throat, along with the rest of your feelings.

"Then stop fucking calling me Han. You aren't here but you won't let me move on!"

"Because I don't want you to move on!" he yells, and you startle at the raw pain laced in his voice. "I'm scared if I don't call you anymore, you'll forget me," his voice cracks. "And... And we'll meet ten years from now in the aisle of a random supermarket, and you'd be in love with someone else while I'm still buying the shampoo you recommended to me."

"I'm tired Han," you choke out, phone now shaking in your hand.

You'd think I'd be a fast learner, but guess I won't ever mind- crisping up on your backburner.

"Me too, baby."

"Don't call me that," you beg, "please, don't call me that."

It's pathetic but at least you are too

"I want to see you," he says, tone pleading. And you can envision him perfectly, wounded eyes looking into yours, his lower lip quivering at the thought of you saying no.

"It's not love when you treat someone this way," you tell him, wiping your tears away. "To put someone in the corner and only think of them when you are fucking lonely."

"I think of you all the time," he cuts you off, "you never leave my mind, even when I'm away. Especially when I'm away."

After everything you put me through, I somehow still believe in you

"This is wrong," you whisper, as your resolve weakens, as your longing for him threatens to consume you whole. You no longer care that his hands are choking you as long as he soothes down the burn after.

"I know it is, but I love you. Say it back, please. I need to hear it."

I'll always be in your corner

"Please," he repeats, and he sounds so vulnerable, in his way of begging you. As if your words are the oxygen with which he breathes.

"I love you."

Cause I don't feel alive until I'm burning on your backburner

You are already at the door when you hear someone knocking on it. You don't have to look through the peephole to see who it is.

You open the door, and Han's there, phone still brought up to his ear.

"Let me in?"

He doesn't need to ask, you always will.

[llamagoddessofficial]

So we've seen your Error headcannons, can we get your Nightmare ones since you're in a romantical mood?

Oh can you.....

He's a very complex individual. Under all that rage, when he likes you and wants your company, he's actually a very calm, intelligent and eloquent lover. Princely, if you will. He likes hearing you talk, and is very good at roping you into chatting about your hobbies for hours while he just adoringly stares. He enjoys the arts, music, poetry... once he finds someone he wants, you'd never even know how much anger he's set aside.

(Unlike Error, he's aware that constant anger isn't a very attractive trait)

While he's first starting to develop feelings, it's one of those situations where you won't realise how much he likes you until you see the way he acts around other people. You might think he feels neutral about you, at best- he talks to you, but never about himself, seeming to prefer when you're the one talking. Maybe chortles at a joke every now and then. But overall, he's relatively quiet, relatively still-faced... not very outwardly emotional in any manner.

... Then you see how he acts around everyone else. Hair-thin temper that leads to physical violence with anyone who annoys him too long, dismissive and mean about any subject, he tells people who talk too long to shut up and makes underhanded cruel 'jokes' at their expenses. The same tentacles that curl around your hand or stroke your back as he walks by will grab Dust around the head and slam him into the ground because he made a poorly timed joke.

Nightmare has an eye for traditional courtship. Once his heart is set on you, expect bouquets, jewellery, fine evening dining, strolls through midnight gardens, flowery handwritten letters. He carries a locket with your portrait.

You would think his love languages are gift giving and acts of service, considering how often it seems to be the only way he shows love. But deep down... it's actually physical touch. He's just far too afraid to show it.

Nightmare would do well with a physically affectionate partner. Someone who'll cuddle up to him first so has an excuse to snuggle back. But someone less physical would also be good- sometimes he's afraid his aversion to touch will drive away a partner, and somebody who doesn't really mind either way soothes those fears.

You can't lie to him. Well, I mean... you can. But he can sense it, and he'll always know. Whether or not he lets you think he believes you is up to him.

He has a locked box in his castle full of sketches and small oil paint studies of you. You'll know he's finally totally comfortable with you when he politely asks if he can draw you.

His tentacles often act on his true feelings. Whether that's snapping out to choke Killer for asking if you top, or lovingly curling around you when he's half asleep.

... He's actually pretty childish. Especially when in love. Though he's good at hiding it under layers of highborn mannerisms, he fucking hates when there are any potential rivals for your affection. He tends to lash out against the 'rivals' in underhanded manners whenever you're not looking, then really lay on the charm and affection with you to ensure you're not thinking of leaving him. If you're asexual or demi it may not be that big of a deal because he's soothed by your lack of interest in others, but if you're pansexual or bi, it might be a genuine problem that needs addressing.

Call him "my love". He likes feeling like your one and only.

[mybelovedwoo]

Boyfriend hongjoong or mingi PLEASE?

Thank u so much for your request! I will do Hongjoong now as he was the first one you wrote, but I will do Mingi in the future too!!

kim hongjoong as boyfriend - headcanon

headcanon, romance, fluff, smut

gn!reader x bf!atz

wc. ~0.8k

an: you can request headcanons if you want to (please only headcanons)!! if you want to be tagged in any of my fics you can apply here <3

masterlist

-the always admires you from far away type of boyfriend

-like he always has such heart eyes for you whenever you go somewhere together, you are talking about something in a group setting, he always listens to your every word carefully, he never disappoints you, or he sees how good you're getting along with his members, he smiles at you with that lovesick smile of his

-but sometimes he can get a little jealous too, we know he's an extreme scorpio, like is anyone surprised honestly?

-probably spends most of his time at the studio, but doesn't mind when you accompany him, indeed loves it, he can get a little distracted with your presence sometimes tho

-you always feel so special, because you're the first person to hear some songs of his, in return, you always try to encourage him and tell him how amazing of a producer and songwriter he is (it's not a lie)

-after he is done working in the studio, he usually takes you out for dinner, refuses you to pay for anything, and gets mad when you tell him that you want to pay this time

-you would think he is not much of a fan of physical affection, but it's so different with you, the only place he wouldn't give you that much of it is in public places and in front of his friends and family

-he would hold your hands wherever you go, occasionally he raises yours to his mouth and gives it a quick peck, so you can feel his love even when you're in public

-you wouldn't know this, but he likes to brag about you, telling his friends how wonderful his significant other is

-very protective of you, because he thinks you are his treasure. he would dead-stare everyone who would even look at your way

-would think about your future together, and moving in with you the first month of dating, but would never actually tell you, because he doesn't want to scare you off or something

-his biggest fear is that he can't show you how much he loves you. if he can see any doubt or insecurity, he will reassure you with the most meaningful words and wouldn't ever leave your side in a moment like this

-you two often joke around with "being mean" to each other. it's just you guys' thing. he is definitely into it when you are being mean to him

-always asks you to paint his nails, and he always does the same for you. picking out the colors for each other. also picks out the other's outfit just for fun, but ends up changing the whole thing because it "wasn't him"

-the type of boyfriend that would give you his jacket, saying he isn't cold, but would actually be freezing

-he brings you home little gifts from everywhere he goes around the world, saying "I had to buy it, it reminded me of you baby"

-would stare straight into your eyes before he kisses you, holds your face with one hand at your jaw. also the first thing he does is kiss you every time you two wake up together in the morning, he thinks it's really important and the best way to start the day

nsfw +18!!!

-okay hear me out he is a very emotional lover and sometimes he can get carried away by his feelings, but he is definitely a dom in the bedroom, not a hard dom, but not a soft dom (you know what I mean)

-he prefers intense sex, where can get everything out of his head, and the bedroom is the safest place for him to share it with the person he loves the most, he desires passion and intimacy

-doesn't mind trying out new things, as long as you are okay with it too, very open and adventurous

-his biggest turn-on is direct eye contact I'm telling you, this boy is a sucker for it. he loves how he can see every emotion on your face, it is very intimate and vulnerable for him 

-biggest turn off probably power play, he just doesn't like it when somebody is trying to control him, and probably everything that involves pain

-i feel like hongjoong would be very vocal in bed, sometimes having full-on conversations with you, and also even dirty talk, but only in a loving way, he would never be mean to you in such a vulnerable moment

-this man's sex drive is high af, you would have sex at least four times a week, but it's probably more than that, to be honest, literally doing it in every part of the house, in the kitchen, bathroom, living room, on the floor, literally everywhere

-so for positions, i think he would love a classic missionary where he can keep that eye contact but would love a good flatiron where he is doing you from behind but still stays close to you, also one of his favorites would be just scooping you up from behind, just cuddling up and kissing your face all over

-he would get all sleepy after sex, so he forgets aftercare sometimes, he just falls asleep with you in his arms (who would blame this man, he works too hard)

[lunicho]

BEOMGYU W/ DACRYPHILIA KINK 🤭😭🙏

cw: crying, mean doms, drool, face, pussy, and cock slapping.

hello fellow beomgyu enjoyer 😁 (im sure we're both insane for him) BUT THIS IS MY FIRST GYU ASK <333 im gonna do like sub and dom gyu with dacryphilia kink cuz <3

im a sub gyu truther but!!! there's a specific set of videos out there on the internet that make me want dom gyu so bad 😖 thinking abt mean dom gyu who loves to get u down on ur knees so he can fuck your throat,, he'd mock u sm about the way drool falls from your lips and the way tears prick at the corners of your eyes. he loves to make u cry and beg, he's mean simply for that reason. he'll push you to your limits if you'll allow him and he'll test you so much. he's the type to ask you trick questions while he's balls deep in you and if u answer wrong or if you don't answer at all he'll deny you. or he'll even slap your pussy when u don't say what he wants to hear cuz he's just like that, loves to see you whine for him.

as a sub though he's such a crier. he gets pushed to the edge so quickly, if you give him a taste of his own medicine he just can't handle it :(. he loves when you're mean to him, when you slap his cock or his face, when you deny him over and over until he can't do anything but moan and cry. i feel like sometimes he may even cry to try to get what he wants, he tries to get pity this way, whining uselessly about how he's gonna be a good boy next time and he's not gonna act out anymore when you already know that's a lie. beomgyu is bratty by nature it's not very believable by any means. also cries when he's been a good boy though, when he's feeling all soft and warm inside and he's really been patient and obedient for so long. when you finally touch him and dote on him, teasingly making fun of him he just loves it :( he really can be a good boy at times and when he is he might cry a little just bc he's a little emotional <3

[lxndonorris]

the day after - Carlando

Lando Norris x Carlos Sainz Theme: Fluff (light touching) it's the day after the Australia GP and Carlos is spending the morning in bed with Lando x word count: 1325 taglist: @game-set-canet open for requests of either ships or reader fics, feel free to ask :)

The golden rays of dawn filter through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the plush hotel room where Lando and Carlos lie entwined in each other's arms. The afterath of the Australian Grand Prix still lingers in the air, the taste of champagne and victory sweet on their lips.

Carlos stretches, his hazel eyes fluttering open to meet Lando's gaze. A soft smile tugs at the corner of his lips as he takes in the sight of his beloved, his heart swelling with affection.

Lando, wearing Carlos's Ferrari shirt, looks back at him with adoration, his fingers tracing lazy circles on Carlos's bare chest.

"Morning, champ," Lando murmurs, his voice husky with sleep but laced with tenderness.

"Morning, my love," Carlos replies, his voice filled with warmth as he presses a gentle kiss to Lando's forehead.

The events of the previous day flood back to them—the adrenaline-pumping race, the electrifying atmosphere of standing together on the podium, celebrating their victories side by side. Carlos's triumphant win, with Lando right by his side, has been a moment they will cherish forever.

But amidst the glitz and glamour of the Grand Prix, there is a quieter, more intimate celebration that unfolds behind closed doors—the celebration of their love, a love that few knew existed.

As Carlos shifts, a twinge of pain shoots through his abdomen, a reminder of the surgery he had undergone just two weeks prior. His appendix removal has been a setback, but Lando has been there every step of the way, offering unwavering support and care.

Lando's touch is gentle as he traces his fingers over the faint scar on Carlos's abdomen, his lips pressing soft kisses along the path. Carlos sighs contentedly, reveling in the warmth of Lando's affection and grateful for his unwavering presence.

"You should be resting," Lando murmurs, concern lacing his words as he gazes into Carlos's eyes.

"I am resting," Carlos replies with a playful grin, his fingers tangling in Lando's tousled hair. "With you here, it doesn't hurt at all."

Lando's gaze is filled with warmth and adoration as he looks into Carlos's eyes, marveling at the depth of emotion he finds there. He traces the lines of Carlos's face with his fingertips, committing every curve and contour to memory, as if trying to capture the essence of his beloved.

Carlos, in turn, drinks in the sight of Lando, his heart swelling with love at the tenderness he sees reflected in those beautiful brown eyes.

"I must excuse myself." Lando reluctantly peels himself from the warmth of the bed to attend to nature's call. "You just stay there," he smiles, pointing at Carlos still lying in bed.

Carlos smiles, unable to help but admire the sight before him. The way Lando's black underwear hugs his frame, accentuating every inch, sends a surge of desire corusing through Carlos's veins. The red Ferrari shirt suits him, the fabric draping over his frame in all the right places.

With a playful swagger in his step, Lando makes his way to the bathroom, the soft fabric of the shirt billowing around him as he moves. He can't deny the rush of satisfaction that washes over him, knowing that he looks good in Carlos's clothes.

Carlos's gaze lingers appreciatively on Lando's form, taking in the sight of his boyfriend strolling around inside his hotel room, wearing his clothes.

As Lando disappears into the bathroom, Carlos can't suppress the grin that spreads across his face. He feels a rush of affection for his boyfriend, marveling at the effortless charm and magnetic presence that draw him in time and time again.

When Lando returns, shirtless and exuding confidence, Carlos's breath catches in his throat. The sight of Lando's exposed torso—the play of muscles beneath taut skin—is one to behold.

Carlos's heart beats faster as he watches Lando approach, his longing evident in the warmth of his gaze.

Without a word but a knowing smirk playing on his lips, Lando slips back into bed, the mattress dipping under his weight as he nestles against Carlos's side. He wraps his arms around Lando, pulling him close in a tender embrace. The warmth of their bodies pressed together, the steady rhythm of their breaths syncing in perfect harmony.

With a soft smile, Carlos runs his fingers gently through his boyfriend's hair before he brushes a kiss against his temple, his heart overflowing with love.

"You know," Carlos breathes, his voice barely above a whisper. "I love seeing you in my clothes. But to be fair, you look just as fine without them."

Lando's cheeks flush with a mixture of embarrassment and pelasure at Carlos's words, a shy smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He leans into the touch, his heart fluttering at the sincerity in Carlos's voice.

"Thanks, Carlos," Lando replies, his own voice filled with affection.

"But." Carlos's fingertips dance lightly along Lando's jawline, tracing the contours with a feather-light touch. His gaze softens with love as he leans in closer, his breath mingling with Lando's as he speaks.

"I miss your stubble," Carlos murmurs, his voice tingling with longing. "It made you look so rough, so mature."

A soft chuckle escapes Lando's lips as he meets Carlos's gaze, his heart swelling with love at the tender admission. He tilts his head slightly, leaning in to his boyfriend's touch as he savors the warmth of their closeness.

"I'll grow it back just for you." Lando breathes deeply; his voice laces with playfulness as he brushes his lips against Carlos's fingertips. "Anything to make you happy."

Lando's fingers trail softly over Carlos' chest as he smiles happily. A tender warmth spreads between them, their connection deepening with each gentle stroke.

Their tender moment is interrupted by a soft knock on the door, signaling the arrival of room service. With a reluctant sigh, Lando extricates himself from Carlos's embrace and makes his way to the door, pulling on a pair of shorts as he goes.

Returning to the bed, Lando sets the tray of breakfast delicacies on the bedside table, his eyes lighting up with excitement. Croissants, fresh fruit, and steaming cups of coffee await them—a feast fit for Grand Prix winners and podium sitters.

While enjoying their breakfast together, Lando can't help but feel a surge of affection for his beloved. With a tender smile, Lando offers Carlos a perfectly buttered croissant, atching with satisfaction as his eyes light up with delight. The sweetness of the pastry melting on Carlos's tongue, a small but meaningful gesture of love and devotion.

Next comes the fruit, each piece carefully selected and lovingly offered to Carlos. Lando revels in the simple pleasure of deeding his boyfriend, his heart swelling with pride at the sight of Carlos enjoying the breakfast.

"Thank you, love." Carlos smiles warmly, leaning forward to kiss his boyfriend.

With their stomachs content and hearts full, Lando and Carlos melt into each other's embrace once more, their bodies fitting together like pieces of a puzzle.

As Lando's hands trace patterns across Carlos's chest, a sense of peace settles over them, enveloping them in a cocoon of warmth and intimacy.

Wrapped in each other's arms, they revel in the simple pleasure of being together, their chuckles mingling with the soft rustle of sheets and the rhythmic beating of their hearts.

Lando's touch is gentle yet possessive as he explores every curve and contour of Carlos's body, his fingertips leaving a trail of fire in their wake. With every soft stroke he elicits a soft growl out of Carlos's throat.

"Feels good, huh?" Lando purrs playfully, already knowing the answer.

Carlos sighs lowly again, his breath mingling with Lando's as he nuzzles closer, seeking refuge in the safety of their embrace. "So good." He breathes against Lando's skin, sending shivers down his back. With each caress, he feels the weight of the world lift from his shoulders, replaced by a sense of belonging that only Lando could provide.

[luvring]

Can I ask for headcanons about the LIs from Touchstarved and how they would deal with the MC who is suffering from menstrual cramps? Unfortunately, I'm in those days, I always get very sensitive and I can't eat anything (sometimes I even feel nauseous and vomit).

Sorry about my English

TS CAST WITH AN MC ON THEIR PERIOD

gn!mc | aaaghh i hope u feel better soon/now anon that sounds awful :(

ALL

i want you to know (partially because i don't want the notes to be repetitive) none of them would mind cleaning up any vomit, stains, etc. when they happen. literally none of them!! they've all seen worse, had worse happen, and care about mc. of course they'll take the time to clean up, change sheets, rub their back (and hold back any hair) as they hover over the toilet etc.

the others would ask kuras to check on mc if the symptoms are super serious and it could be some underlying condition. vere. ....mc is important enough to get kuras bro trust me. one of the others might recommend it if not him bdjhgbd

KURAS

! Finally a doctor that won't invalidate your experiences or just send you home! kuras would take their symptoms seriously and prescribe medication, etc as needed (i don't know how advanced they are surgery wise but if it was safe and possible...!)

he offers to let them stay at the clinic with him, but they both know he'd prefer they did assuming it isn't too difficult to set up

...methodical? when it comes to checking on mc, especially when they're suffering the worst of their symptoms! even when it seems like he's super busy and doesn't have time, he makes time.

he's good staying calm at signs of pain, strong emotions, etc., but it's a little different because mc isn't Just a patient. sometimes he can't help his worried expression when mc is in obvious pain, and he wouldn't buy tea for just anybody now would he! or let them pull him to the bedside and chat to distract them, comply when asked to hold his hand over their stomach, etc.

food wise.... he learns mc's favourites quickly, at least what they can stomach. best soup flavours, best drinks, soft foods... plus the nearest places he can run to. mc can be like Kuras It's literally 10 minutes away but he's like.. What kind of doctor would i be if i let my patient leave in this state. Can you lie back down now?

when they're home, kuras is freer to spend time with mc if they'd like! if mc says he has to cuddle because they're in pain, he can slip into bed with them. (he might be a little awkward the first couple of times because, well, cuddling isn't a usual treatment he offers to patients is it? and i don't think he's cuddled a lot in general, but he gets the hang of it!)

LEANDER

the wet wick isn't really where you want to be when you're dealing with cramps, nausea and anything else. so when mc mentions that they'll probably be dealing with their period soon and they tell him how bad it can get, leander makes sure to find a more comfortable place, even if it's just for a while. (or you know. maybe they live together somewhere else already and that'd just be very lovely and convenient !)

if there's any Magic Treatments he can do himself to soothe their pain, do some magic equivalent of a heating pad, etc. leander will absolutely use them! though he might make a joke like, Is the spell as good as me though? and when mc is like you know what? yeah. he's like :( / oh i see how it is...after everything we've been through /joking

i don't care if he doesn't like naps he will nap with mc if they ask. He Will. even if he doesn't stay the whole time, he'll at least rub their back and wait for them to fall asleep.

at their beck and call while he's around!! they need help getting to the washroom? he's there to help. they want a little snack? he's bought some! they ask him to run a hot bath? do they want him to help them wash because he will! their heated towels aren't hot enough anymore? no need to get up, leander's already on his way. they want to cuddle with him? What kind of guy would he be to say no?

if mc is more sensitive and their emotions are kind of all over the place, it probably surprises leander the most LOL. like everyone's caught off guard and worried walking in on them crying, but leander is most visibly like wait shit what happened? what's wrong? are you okay? did someone do something? because he's done everything he can to make sure they're comfortable like woah!!😭

VERE

do you guys know if vere's job is a 9 to 5 deal... well. while he's on the job, trust me when i tell you he's thinking of mc more often than he'd like to admit. he wishes he could check on them himself, but if he can't, he'll ask one of the others to. you'd think ais considering ais is the only one vere likes, but depending on what you need, he'll have to suck it up and ask. leander maybe?

yeah okay he'll rest his tail over your stomach and let you play with it now stop giving him puppy eyes and asking /lighthearted /silly. he'd appreciate it if you didn't squeeze very tight, like please hold onto something else besides his tail. but staying near you and getting that something isn't at all an issue for him!

if they want to cuddle Vere and not just his tail, he pretends he's Relenting and Allowing it, but he does enjoy it! (you can tell by the smile on his face and the way he shifts the pillows and blanket to make sure they're both comfortable for the foreseeable future.) he lets them rest their head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat, and he wraps his tail around just for extra warmth.

tones down his provocations and attitude when he realizes mc's state, and his more serious side comes out. if mc is confused/surprised by this, he rolls his eyes before carrying on to tell them to stay hydrated, and which places have the best teas/warm drinks. (he knows the owner of the one on the corner two streets down, and he's sure they'll lower the price for you.)

stubborn mc who ignores vere telling them they should stay in bed, or trying to help them there. vere who watches patiently as they're obviously in pain, until they give in and look at him. vere who, just once because he's vere, is like oh? what happened to not needing help? before mc tells him to shut up and he wraps an arm around them

AIS

makes sure they're drinking enough water and eating what they can despite his teasing. says shit like "okay, if you drink enough water i'll buy you some sweets" "think of how disappointed princess will be to find out you're pushing yourself" etc etc. of course when he's especially worried about them not eating, he'll take a more serious tone, but it's what he can do to keep their mood up.

even though exercising while you're cramping and bleeding often sounds. Miserable and Impossible. exercising regularly can help when the time comes! ais offers to join them on a couple walks a week :-) if mc thinks that they can do some light exercise, he'll be there to help them and suggest some easier workouts they can do. i don't think he's a huge yoga person, but he's got some stretches for sure!

guy who goes to buy some things and comes with more than mc expected or listed. he shrugs and says it's better to be prepared, and he was there so why not? he even asked some of the clerks for their opinion and was told some nice advice from a stranger who overheard him and who's he to say no.

might be below leander in terms of cuddling enthusiasm, but is still more comfortable than the others! he'll wrap himself around them, keeping a light pressure on their stomach and rubbing circles against their skin. he never complains about quietly staying and watching them, or talking if mc asks him to distract them. (they wonder how many of his stories take place in a bar. Have you never had a fun experience perhaps at a festival or park? he feigns offense before telling a 'nicer' story anyway.)

more modern au than TS but. i don't know if you guys saw that video where they asked their boyfriend to get pads with wings and he bought. pads and chicken wings. i'm crying soo bad like ais would do that as a joke. he'd take the wings out first then show mc he did, in fact, get pads with wings after they stare at him like ???? BEJHSBGJHB

MHIN

the first time it happens? they spot mc obviously in pain and watch them for a while because, well, that isn't their problem is it? they're just watching because they're curious, not because they really care. inevitably, they go up to check on them and bring them somewhere more comfortable because it was "hard to watch"

 it's like... mhin knows what to do, but there's hesitancy because they feel awkward About Offering. do they just hand mc the warm towel? do they ask them to roll over? if they ask what mc wants to drink, will they have the ingredients for it? they leave a bowl by the bed and say "in case you vomit" then hesitate before telling them where the washroom is, but the bowl is just in case. the others are more comfortable asking and taking initiative when it comes to mc y'know. but once they've established a relationship, mhin is quick to know what they like and need without mc even asking! ^^

"mhin" "hm?" "i think i'm dying" "you aren't dying" "i'm going to die" "don't die on my favourite blanket" "what the hell" (/lighthearted) (they do in fact care very much and feel bad. if mc wasn't busy suffering maybe they'd have noticed mhin preparing tea and a hot pack across the room.)

doesn't even try to entertain the thought of mc getting up and doing something strenuous. mhin shoots them a look like ? are you kidding. stay here and i'll take care of it. they won't force mc to stay in bed and assumes they know their limits, but that also means if mc pushes themself too much, mhin is all the more 'annoyed' (concerned!! they're concerned more than Angry, but can you please listen to them for once!)

omfg mhin bringing mc to a place where stray cats like to visit just to cheer them up a little. mhin handing them some food to hold out in their hand. there's a specific cat who really likes to purr and cuddle that they get the attention of just for mc. yeah.

[pacifymebby]

You’re imagines are so good! Love the character accuracy. Imagine the peaky blinders boys having a s/o who is super into self care, and wants to pamper them as well. Like skin care, body/scalp massages, baths, etc.

This is so cute i love it, i did it as kind of modern au centered because i feel like self care is probably way more varied now than it used to be?

Tommy

🌿I feel like he looks after himself and isn't going to be as opposed to this as you might expect a bloody-minded toxic masculinity gangster to be.

🌿Especially not the candlelit baths, the back rubs and anything else which involves close physical contact with you...

🌿Both 20s Tommy and Modern! Tommy are very serious men, their brain is always set in overdrive, his thoughts buzzing and whirring like a broken machine at all hours. He never switches off and you worry about him.

🌿"Ain't good for you Tommy, you're always lost inside your own head... Driving yourself crazy, you need to switch off every now and then... Let me help you..."

🌿 You know exactly the tone to take to get him to leave his work and come to you, oh so slightly suggestive, tempting... And when it comes to you Tommy doesnt have much resistance...

🌿You probably have a really fancy bathroom with a sunken in tub, jacuzzi jets and all, which Tommy had built for you but which you always intended on sharing with him. I'm picturing this but with more house plants, more candles...

🌿 You put his favourite record on and soak in the tub with him, he holds you in his lap, definitely tries to take the vibe somewhere else

🌿But you are determined that this is going to be more than just a steamy afternoon of shower sex... You promised to help him relax and you're going to.

🌿 "Oh angel no... I don't need that..." he says when you present him with a facemask, its a sheet mask and he just looks at you all "we look like something out of a horror movie y/n" "yes but its going to make your skin feel heavenly..." "already heavenly love..." he smirks making you smile a little embarassed. "Well yeah, I mean you are..." you start but he just shakes his head, "was talking about you angel..."

🌿Tommys been through a lot and has a lot of pent up stress stored in his muscles, he doesn't realise quite how much trauma he's holding in his body until he starts to relax, and when he realises everything he's carrying with me, all these emotions he shuts out to survive, he panics a bit... He can't let himself unwind completely or he's sure he'll fall apart.

🌿So he tries to make up excuses to cut short your pamper session, standing up to get out of the bath, taking his face mask off with some excuse about having an important call that needs to be made...

🌿You're not stupid though, you know what he's doing and so with one puppy dog eye look at him, you beg him to stay just a little longer. And he can't say no to you when you look at him like that so he returns to you.

🌿You wash his hair and massage his head, you tell him to close his eyes and you treat him so delicately. He's never felt this kind of care before, this good goosebump feeling, the hairs on his neck standing on end at the slightest touch from you. He loves it.

🌿You give him a little face massage too, telling him to close his eyes, sitting in his lap and very gently, delicately massaging his temples, his cheeks and jaw. He didn't even know you could carry tension in your face like that but your touch is magic. And when you finsih it with a kiss pressed to his lips he pulls you in for a deeper one.

🌿 Tommy also likes to live the life of luxury, he always aspired to reach the levels of those higher social classes, he always wanted what they have and so when you beg him to go on a spa week with you he obliges. Its one of those things the rich do after all.

🌿He gets a taste for massages and takes you on many spa weekends. If he has a particularly troubling problem he needs to mull over he will often lie on his back in the sauna and think things through.

🌿Loves an ice bath/plunge pool because he's a fucking sociopath.

Alfie

🐻 Alfie has never had someone try to take care of him like this, he's not really used to having people take care of him at all but this is even more unfamiliar... As far as Alfie is concerned "self-care" is just "womans stuff ain't it"

🐻 "Well no Alf its not really, anyone can do it and well yknow... Youre always spoilin me aren't you," "rotten zieskiet, absolutely rotten," "well yeah, exactly... I wanna make it up to you, wanna look after you for once..."

🐻 He will argue, "But you see my little zieskiet thats just not how this works yeah, you and me yeah... You're my little girl ain't you," "yeah but..." "right, exactly right, you're my little girl and there ain't no buts about it zieskiet, I take care of you.. You don't want for anythin... You don't need to look after me, I do that myself right..."

🐻 "But Alfie," you whine fixing him with a pout and the most irresistible puppy eyes, "I want to look after you..."

🐻 So he lets you do it to make you happy... Of course he grumbles about it anyway, even if he's enjoying it. He can't drop his grumpy old man act now...

🐻 He lets you run him a hot bath, let's you use your essential oils, lets you wash his hair and condition his beard... On the condition that whilst you wash him you sing for him, something nice and sweet and low. When you're singing for him thats when he really lets himself relax, closing his eyes and feeling the heat from the water soak into him.

🐻He finds that he's able to relax and enjoy it but he can't actually admit to that, he rolls his eyes, tells you he's only doing it so that you'll stop hastling him about it, only doing it because it makes you happy...

🐻 But he secretly loves when you climb into the bath with him and massage his sore muscles, he loves feeling you comb your fingers through his beard and his hair.

🐻 Will not let you put a facemask on him, uses his beard as an excuse, also tells you he's got really senstive skin which is definitely another excuse... Five minutes ago he was pretending he didn't know what a skincare routine was, so how on earth he'd know whether he had sensitive skin or not you don't know...

🐻 You definitely teach this man the power and divine pleasure that is ✨moisturising✨ he gets dry skin and it gets worse when he's stressed so you teach him all about how to wash his face and how to moisturise properly, you make him promise he'll follow his routine every day, "happy skin means happy everything else..." you tell him and he just rolls his eyes and chunters away.

🐻 He will always insist you join him in the bath, he'll tell you he can't possibly relax if his little zieskiet isn't close by.

🐻 I feel like a lot of your self care tricks would be really good for his sciatica as well, relaxing when thats playing up, letting you take care of him. It's what he needs but it all has to be done under the pretence that its to make you happy and that hes the one looking after you.

🐻 At first he is definitely a little wary of letting you see him naked in a non sexual way, in a way where he is the vulnerable one and you're really paying attention to him... When you're not having sex being naked together makes him a little self concious, he thinks a massage will draw attention to his injuries ans scars, is worried you'll see him for the broken/breaking down man he really is

🐻 You tracing the ridges and lines of his scars, kissing them lightly when you're massaging him. Nuzzling into his neck and kissing him as your fingers trail the marbled scarring on his waist and his shoulder.

🐻 Theres one element of self care that Alfie really can get behind and thats meditation. He really enjoys sitting peacefully, letting his mind calm and settle, letting his thoughts wash over and away one by one. He believes it enhances his intelligence and insight, believes that by calming his mind he's making himself sharper.

🐻 He loves a hot stone bed more than he cares to admit but when his back is playing up lying on one of those feeling the heat relax his body slowly, its so soothing... He'll never go to a spa alone however, he always takes you as an excuse to be there.

Arthur

🍂 "You fuckin what? You're gonna make me feel better with some nice smells?"

🍂 Will not let you put "mud" on his face. "Darlin that's just fuckin wrong int it... Fuckin mud on your face? Like mud... From the ground..."

🍂 Arthur is completely baffled by the whole thing and honestly a little bit scared. It all just sounds like "girl stuff" stuff that his mates would take the everloving piss out of him if he admitted to trying it.

🍂 But you know Arthur, he might have that tough guy exterior, might come across as harsh and angry and well, rough... But underneath it he's hiding a delicate side, a side that you know would benefit from just a little self care.

🍂 You have to trick him into it, set some kind of trap because he won't conciously go near anything ylang ylang scented.

🍂 Is genuinely petrified of the shop Lush, crosses the street so he doesn't even have to walk past the front door. He's scared one of the shop assistants will lure him in with a polite hello and then drag him inside kicking and screaming, smothering him in all sorts of oils and bath shite. Once when you were just dropping in to buy a facemask he caught your hand and very very seriously told you to "be careful in there love, don't let anyone grab you" he even shuddered/had a nervous twitch as he watched you go in.

🍂 He doesn't know how to be taken care of, as the eldest son its always been his responsibility to take care of everyone else, he hasn't really been shown much love or care from many people. Most people are terrified of him, his brother who he should be closest to doesn't let him talk about feelings, and he's too embarassed about admiting "failure" to go to his aunt or anyone else for comfort.

🍂 From the first time you spoke to him you've been determined to show him that care. You looked at him, his nervous eyes, that lack of self confidence he was doing so well to hide, and you just thought "this is a man who needs a hot bath and a really good head massage"

🍂 But Arthur is so awkward and standoffish whenever you try to look after him. He hates it if you're "soft" on him because he thinks its imasculating and patronising. He finds it all so embarrassing and he'll go the most adorable shade of bright red whenever you so much as kiss his cheek.

🍂 The first time you suggest a nice candlelit bath he gets interested but thats because baths are literally just for fucking as far as he's concerned and he's dissapointed to realise that you have something else in mind.

🍂 Lots of protests, "y/n come on now we don't have to do this... This is just... I don't need to relax i am relaxed..." "Arthur you haven't been relaxed since your umbilical cord got cut..."

🍂 But once you're alone together in that bath he finally begins to relax. You tell him to close his eyes and at first he refuses or asks why. "Cause its better for relaxing..." "You're gonna do somet to me aren't you... Gonna use one of them fuckin mud potions..." "Promise I'm not..." you try to take his anxiety seriously but "mud potions" is a difficult thing not to laugh at.

🍂 He does his best to relax though and grows to love the feeling of your fingers in his hair, it really does feel like a weight being lifted.

🍂 His favourite thing is to close his eyes and lie back against your chest, the skin on skin contact, the steam and warm water doing wonders to slow his racing mind right down.

🍂 You give him hand massages a lot and he really likes learning how to give them to you too. You teach him where your pressure points are and he concentrates really hard on learning exactly how to take care of you too.

🍂 And sometimes when you're in the bath together you let your hand travel a little lower than usual, you let his idea of bath time win out.

🍂 You take him to a spa and he's so unnerved, he's worried he'll be recognised by someone and his reputation of being a ferocious gangster will be ruined. But he does like the sauna, trouble is it puts him in the mood for fucking...

🍂 Doesnt like a steam room, he feels too vulnerable in there because its dark and steamy and he gets claustrophobic not being able to see so well. If you go into the steam room he will stand guard outside so that nothing bad can happen to you in there.

🍂 You teach him lots of different breathing exercises and try to get him into stretching. They're such effective ways of relieveing tension and you know they'd do him the world of good. But he's not very flexible and he just grumbles. He is however astounded by how bendy you are and will often ask you to show him certain poses just so he can get a good look at you.

🍂 He does try to remember the breathing exercises and they do actually really help him with his ptsd.

John

🌼 I feel like John would be down for doing facemasks with you, you painting his face with some ugly green clay mask, him painting yours with a glittery gold one, taking silly selfies with you.

🌼 He definitely strikes me as a "splashes face with cold water and dries it on an old tshirt" kind of skin care routine boy but you're determined to change his primitive ways.

🌼 He also definitely loves a spa day and you two frequently dissappear to some fancy spa retreat for the weekend.

🌼 Loves a steam room/sauna combination, especially when you join him, theres something really sexy about watching you lie on your back in a bikini, lit up by the dim orange glow of the sauna. That musky essential oils smell lingering in the air... The little beads of sweat on your breasts as your chest rises and falls... "Lie down John, stop starring at me you're supposed to be relaxing..." "Oh I'm relaxed flower don't worry about me..."

🌼 Loves a massage, especially when you go all professional on him with the essential oils. When you get him to lie face down on the bed and climb on top of him to massage his back. Feeling your hands all over him, feeling your legs straddling him...

🌼 You know what else is a good stress reliever love? An orgasm.

🌼 You put cucumber on his eyes when he's in the bath and he immediately thanks you for the snack and eats it. You're speechless, how do you even begin to tell him thats not what thats for.

Bonnie

🍀 Perfectly happy to be silly with you and will let you do whatever you want to him if it makes you happy... So he lets you work out his skin type and prepare the perfect face mask...

🍀 Actually sometimes he'll acompany you out into the forest to find the berries and plants you need to make your little self care rememdies with, its a good excuse to spend time with you and he finds it incredible how knowledgeable about plants and herbs you are...

🍀Does point out that this facemask you've mixed up for yourself is just a really fancy overnight oats recipe... Does eat a spoonful and imediately regrets it wincing and spitting it out.

🍀 It does take quite a lot to convince him that self-care isn't the same as make up and stuff, he's always telling you not to "buy into all that wellness shite" because its just a new capitalist method of getting your money off you...

🍀 And you know, he's not completely wrong, but self care isn't just about buying stuff and you have to try and teach him that before he'll really let you show him stuff. Showing him how you make natural face masks, moisturisers and bath salts does help this process.

🍀 He has to take care of his body for his boxing and he's no stranger to a sports massage, actually more often than not he's the one trying to get you to let him give you a back rub... Whenever you offer he always starts on you, squeezing your shoulders, telling you you seem tense. He's such a smooth talker you don't even realise he's derailed your plan until he's smoothing warm lavender oil over your back, working your muscles skillfully. And when you do realise you don't want to ask him to stop.

🍀 After his fights you want to take good care of him and you always insist he spends the following day with you, relaxing... You spoil him with a hot bath to sooth his sore muscles, scented candles and nature sounds asmr music, massages, he even lets you put a hair mask in his curls.

🍀He's always been torn about things like spa days, hes always thought they were something for posh people, wives of men who play too much golf... But again, he'll do anything if you ask him enough times, so he comes with you one day and he's adorably awkward and hesitant about everything.

🍀 You pick his treatments for him and he really really has to trust you because he's not sure what an "all over body sugar scrub" is but it sounds, intimidating? Afterwards when you ask for his review he just grins, "I'd have liked it more if it was you in there with me..."

🍀 Ultimately though Bonnie's idea of self care is a day in the woods, or by a river with you. Somewhere peaceful, quiet. Lying back against a tree trunk with you in his arms.

🍀 "Really dove, takin care of my girls what makes me feel good, enough with your scented candles now eh, let me look after you, it's not like i ain't good at it..." he says whispering the last sentence in your ear, kissing your neck as he starts to massage your shoulders.

🍀 You're literally never winning this battle sorry.

Isaiah

🐀 Will roll his eyes when you suggest a self care night, calls it your "hippy dippy bullshit" teases you and asks if you're going to do his birth chart whilst you're at it... "Maybe I should Si, might find out why you're such a snide git eh?" You'll probably regret flashing him that cheeky smile.

🐀So aye, he's not exactly easy to convince, he has the same opinion on self care as most the other men... That its girls stuff, that it ain't manly to smell like lavender and camomile.

🐀But, a little wine, a few candles and a hot bath... You with your legs wrapped around his waist, your fingers massaging his scalp gently... Whats not to like about that... He really likes how close it makes you feel, the connection between you strengthening.

🐀Thats more to do with the fact he's being vulnerable with you and his vulnerability is being met with care and love, rather than down to the fact you've sugar scrub massaged his back and legs.

🐀He will let you do facemasks with him but it will come accompanied by many threats, "you tell anyone about this mousy and I promise you you'll regret it..." but you're not scared of him and so you tease him with the threat of telling his touch guy gangster friends all the time. You start getting your own way much more often.

🐀I think he probably enjoys the tension of letting you shave him with an open razor blade, i don't know if this counts as self care so much as just a personal hygiene thing but either way, its a very intense and intimate experience and you're the only person he trusts to do it because you're so gentle and delicate with it that you never cut him.

🐀He fancies himself a social climber and enjoys the status of being able to "treat his girl to a relaxing weekend away" he definitely enjoys taking you to spas and baths, but he tends to let you go off for all the fancy treatments and just enjoys swimming in the pool and relaxing on the stone beds or in the sauna.

🐀Another man who needs to be taught about the power of moisturising. His skin gets dry and you buy him moisturisers and give him little face massages. He's much better at remembering to do his little skincare routine than alfie is because he cares a lot about the way he looks.

🐀"Fuckin drop it with the meditation shit love, i go to church I say my prayers, I don't need to do deep breathing to cleanse my soul..." he just won't do it, won't try your stretches either because "I go to the gym don't I, yogas for girls love..."

🐀Pulls stupid faces at you when you put cucumber on his eyes.

Michael

☘️Out of all the men he takes care of himself the best. He already has a skincare routine, has several serums he uses too.

☘️ So it doesn't take much to convince him of other self care activities. However, don't you dare call it self care. "Look I'm all for lookin after meself like i just don't see why we've got to give it some soft girly name now..."

☘️ He really loves being pampered, kind of likes being treated like a king... His cousins take the piss out of him for it but he doesn't care... "Don't really see whats embarrassing about having my girl massage me back after work... Don't it make me more of a man that I've got a woman who's obsessed with me..." you never let it slide when he talks about you like that but you also know why he's doing it. He's just trying to get his cousins off his back.

☘️ Would probably spend every weekend at the spa if he thought he could get away with it. He likes to throw his cash around and receive special treatment.

☘️ He really really loves a salt scrub and he's a secret fan of a facial too.

☘️He's never the one to suggest that the two of you have a self-care evening together but you can always tell when he needs one and he never refuses your offer.

☘️You have a mini spa built into your house, a sauna and a hot tub, sometimes when you're having once of your self care nights you find yourself next to him in the hot tub, your mood changing.. Your mind drifting to other things, but when Michael is relaxing he's relaxing and theres no disturbing him.

☘️"Not now love eh, later maybe..." his little spa is sacred to him. You're astounded because he must be the first man to turn down the offer of a hot tub fuck.

[dutchdread]

Hello Dutch, don't you think Cloud kissed Tifa too soon? The big reveal in the Lifestream scene is the hidden romantic feelings Cloud had for Tifa, but now that revelation won't be as impactful because he has already declared his feelings for her.

This is actually something I've been thinking about myself, and I think that you could definitely make an argument for this being the case. That having been said I think it's a matter of personal….for lack of a better word, choice. I think you can choose to be negative and see it as such, but rather than looking at "what could have been" you can also choose to look at what we actually got and see if there is a positive way to see it.

First lets look at what we didn't get though. We didn't get 2 games of Cloud and Tifa not showing any romantic interest in each other…..can we agree that that's a good thing? Because honestly that would SUCK!!!!! And if we consider how bad the backlash was back in 1997 when the "Tifa is the true love interest" reveal happened in the game itself how bad would it have been if we'd instead had had 8 years and two games of them seemingly being mostly platonic?

People would be absolutely bamboozled, they'd feel it came out of nowhere and probably have felt rather scammed. Clotis would have hated the first two games with a passion, and Cleriths (which would include every new player) would be rioting at the third.

So then the choice is between including it subtly, or going all in. Well, if they went subtle, it would still be noticeable, so the idea that Cloud might have a crush on Tifa would still no longer be a reveal. This isn't 1997, models have facial animations now, they have micro expressions. Back in 1997 being "not interested" or being in love was represented with the same vertical stripe, so regular interactions essentially revealed very little information about a characters emotions.

Pictured: Complete disinterest, or, complete sexual desire. You decide!

But in 2024 the same thing no longer applies. Every sentence, even the simple speaking of a name, comes with a host of meaning. You can't have Cloud speak Tifas name as though it means nothing for 2 games, and still expect people to be on their side when it comes to romance. And you can't expect people to hear Cloud speak Tifas name with longing for 8 years and then still be surprised that he's into her.

So the reveal was always dead in the water, and they instead went all in, because why not? You see, the reveal isn't exactly that Cloud is in love with Tifa. The reveal is the depth of the love, how far back it's gone, and all the things it has caused. Not just that Cloud has and had a crush on Tifa, but that it's been his entire raison d'etre for the past 10 or so years. When Yuffie asks Cloud whether he liked Tifa when he was younger, and he answered "don't remember", this scene suddenly became a lot more poignant as the player realizes that was actually either a bold-faced lie, or very tragically ironic.

The viewer is left wondering if Cloud, even as we were playing him then, was at least aware of his love of Tifa, but wasn't showing it due to his mask, or if even he genuinely forgot the very thing that set him on this path (personally I think that while Cloud is totally unsure of who or what he is, that he is 100% aware that he deeply loves Tifa, even at the start of Remake).

And if we're going to be explicit anyway, then what difference does it make whether he kisses her or not? The reveal that Cloud likes Tifa is gone with or without it, so might as well go with it. And while the reveal might be less impactful for us, there is one person who, even with the kiss, will still be blown away by it. The most important person, Tifa. To Tifa the kiss probably didn't reveal as much as it did to us, because Tifa has no clue what is really going on with Cloud, nor the state of his psyche. With everything he's been doing she could very well be wondering if the person who kissed her was even Cloud. So the reveal that it wasn't just Cloud that kissed her, but that it's so utterly him that he had been longing for it his entire life will feel SOOOOOOO unfathomably relieving that the mere second hand experience that we the player will get through empathy with Tifa will more than compensate for any loss of shock, IF it is done right.

So I guess what I am trying to say is, don't worry, the reveal isn't ruined. Because the reveal will still recontextualize everything that came before it. Before the reveal Cloud hugging Tifa in remake feels like a dude being hugged but being a bit uncomfortable because of his brooding personality, and not knowing what to do, but deciding to hug back because he's grown closer to his childhood friend over the course of the game, and has developed some feelings for her (essentially what Cleriths think Aerith and Cloud are experiencing at the end of Rebirth XD).

After the reveal Tifa hugging Cloud feels like a huge dork getting everything he's dreamed about his entire life and having absolutely no clue what to do because he's so shy and awkward and "omg I never thought I'd get this far, don't screw this up, don't screw this up". Before the reveal Cloud kissing Tifa feels like a cool guy who loves Tifa giving her the kiss they both desire, but probably Tifa most of all. After the reveal the kiss feels like Cloud winning a thousand jackpots at once. A sweet boy whose heart is probably pounding out of this chest and is barely managing to stay cool.

And there is a second improvement to the story resulting from the kiss. Namely the increased sense of loss and pain associated with Cloud drifting away from Tifa and finally breaking. In the original its sad to watch Tifa cry out about losing Cloud, but it's nothing compared to what we get in Rebirth, let alone what we will hopefully get in part 3. There can be no doubt that the reason it hits so hard when Cloud rips away Tifas hand in the temple of the ancients after he tried killing Elena is because the game so effectively established the bond between Cloud and Tifa. Him forcefully removing her hand has become viscerally shocking. Both because it now shows extra clearly how far gone Cloud is, but also because it makes Tifas experience extra tragic.

Without the romance and kiss it would have just been Tifa losing the Cloud she had found by the tracks. She wanted to find the boy she'd fallen in love with, she had wanted to rekindle something, but ultimately she wouldn't have done so, and therefore losing him would feel less painful. It's far more painful to have something and lose it than to never have it in the first place. With the romance and the kiss Tifa actually found that boy and bond that she'd thought about for so long. And to finally find that one sliver of happiness and then to have it ripped away right when she needed it most…..well it cuts twice as hard. When she takes care of Cloud in Mideel, knowing what she lost, having only ever gotten that kiss…..well, it cuts twice as deep.

And of course, this will also make the reveal in the lifestream that she never lost the real Cloud, all the more amazing. (OH THANK GOD, I finally figured out why TUMBLR was randomly not allowing me to post longer posts)

[feelbokkie]

Sorry, I Love You | Chapter 2

pairing: Jeongin x fem reader

genre/warnings: smau, crack, angst, fluff, non!idol au, friends to lovers, unrequited love, will they, won’t they dynamic, abusive relationship, alcohol abuse/alcoholism, emotional/psychological abuse

pov: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

warnings: swearing, toxic boyfriend moments, manipulation, mention of food, drinking, slightly suggestive, minor domestic violence (reader gets grabbed roughly but that's all)

summary: Jeongin is in love with his best friend and he has been ever since he met her back in high school. He’s not sure how Y/n feels about him and in order to persevere their friendship, it’s a secret he keeps to himself. But when Y/n starts showing interest in one of their new neighbors, Jeongin starts to worry about the future of their relationship.

taglist: CLOSED

word count: 4,122

screenshot count: 15

a/n: moas, don't come for me

previous | masterlist | next

©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

"Please tell me that you decided to be a good student this year and did the reading." You breathe as you slide into the empty seat next to Jeongin.

He quickly slides his backpack off your desk and drops it next to him.

"Have you met me?" He scoffs, his eyes wide in shock. "I was going to ask you to summarize it to me right now."

You let out an annoyed groan and you lay your head against the desk, silently screaming in your head. If it was a class that wasn’t for fourth years and you didn’t already know the professor, you wouldn’t be stressed. But life would never be so kind to you. It doesn't help that you have this particular class three days a week and today is the third day so you technically had enough time to read.

"How much time before class starts?" You ask quickly, hunching over to your bag and searching for your textbook.

"Like 3 minutes," Jeongin tells you slowly, confused as to your sudden burst of energy.

You pull out your book and quickly flip over to where you left off last night. "I can work with that."

Jeongin can't help but stare at you. He's so used to you being so on top of your game, that he's not sure he's ever seen you this frazzled when it comes to school. You might even be more tightly wound up than Seungmin when it comes to your grades. How you managed to not do the reading is beyond him.

"What happened to your neck?" He asks, his fingers brushing against the dark purple spots on your neck.

Soobin happened.

You know know how he is, you're not even sure why you agreed to let him over last night. He let you study, for a few minutes. And before you knew it, your textbooks were lost between the sheets, and your clothes and your neck was littered with large love bites. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he's a vampire with the way he's always attaching himself to your neck. In the chaos of it all, you ended up going to sleep without setting your alarm and slightly overslept. You barely had enough time to get ready with how far away from campus your apartment it, you weren't going to waste time trying to cover up the hickeys on your neck when one of Soobin's hoodies could cover them up just fine.

Or so you thought.

"Burned myself with a curling iron," You mumble slowly as your eyes scan over your textbook.

"Your hair's straight today," Jeongin moves a loose strand out of your face for you, making it easier to see the words that you barely understand.

"Then I burned myself with a flat iron," You correct.

It's not that you're ashamed of what you did last night with your boyfriend. You just know that Jeongin could be a bit…prudish when it comes to things like this. It's also eight in the morning and you're not necessarily comfortable with talking about your sex life in front of your peers. So for the sake of your sanity and privacy, you have to lie to him. A little white one.

"But--"

"In, I love you but it's hard enough for me to read in Korean without you trying to interrogate me." You snap, quickly becoming stressed by everything around you.

"Sorry," Jeongin slides back into his seat, facing forward. After a few seconds, he hunches over to his backpack. Finally, he sets something on the corner of your desk. "Here, you need this more than I do."

You glance over to the side to find a can of your favorite coffee. A small smile takes over your face. You know he was probably going to give it to you anyway. He doesn't like that brand because it's too sweet. He always fusses when he sees you drink it. Still, whenever he gets himself a coffee, he makes an effort to bring you one too.

"Thank you Innie," You reach to open it but he quickly picks it up again.

"Read, read. You have two minutes to finish and summarize that for me." He says quickly as he opens the can for you.

"You know that feeling that you get when you know a movie is going to fundamentally change you for the rest of your life?" You beam, the corners of your mouth twitching upwards as you walk out of the theater with a bounce in your step.

"Y/n, you say that about a lot of movies," Jeongin laughs as he watches you skip over to the trash can to throw away the now-empty popcorn bucket.

Various sounds from all the different movies playing simultaneously can be heard as you and Jeongin make your way out the the theater. Your mind is going a thousand miles a minute as you replay all the key moments of the movie in your head. Jeongin trails behind you, holding both of your backpacks and your cups.

"I mean it about a lot of movies, Jeongin. I always pick something that sticks with me and make it a part of my personality. Did you think I like eating dessert first because I'm quirky? No, it's because Remember Me taught me that life is too short to not do things that make me happy. Like eating sweets before my meals."

You spin around, walking backward as you start at Jeongin. His smile is so wide you can barely see his eyes and his dimples are as deep as craters.

"What lesson are you taking away from this film, oh great movie Buddha?" He jokingly bows in your direction.

You stop dead in your and blink at Jeongin. You stare at him for a bit. You stare at the black and white flannel over the plain black t-shirt he's wearing and the medium-wash denim jeans he's wearing. A variation of one of his regular outfits. A shirt and some button-up over it and a pair of jeans. You've come to realize over the years that he probably wears similar outfits because of the simplicity and comfort of it all. And somehow, it brings you comfort too. Familiarity, stability.

"Y/n," Jeongin waves your drink in front of you. You chuckle as you take your cup out of his hand.

"Jikai wa jikaidesu. Ima wa imadesu." You do your best to imitate the man in the film you just watched. You take a sip of your drink before opening your mouth again. "'Next time is next time. Now is now.' Going to try to focus on the present more and relish on perfect days like today."

"That means we shouldn't have to worry about our film analysis then," Jeongin smirks as you two start walking again.

"Fuck that, I'm going to sit down tomorrow and work on that paper while the movie is still fresh on my mind. I'm not even going to drink tonight." You turn around and head over to the concession stand. You quietly take Jeongin's cup from his hand place both cups on the counter and ask for refills.

"You should just stay home tonight and write it." He suggests, his face softening a bit.

"Hm, yeah I know but I promised Soobin. One night out isn't going to kill me. It's going to be impossible to not think about this movie for a while. The cinematography. The soundtrack. Oh my god, the overall non-plot, plot. A masterpiece. It should win all the awards."

"It has good reviews pretty much everywhere so it should. But you know that those things are also popularity contests." Jeongin nudges you as the cashier comes back with your drinks and new straws.

You pull your backpack off of his shoulder and swing it over yours as the two of you finally make your way out. The crisp, cool air hits your face as you push open the door back to the outside world. Slightly weighed down by your backpack, you still skip around.

"I'll make my own award," You slightly pout, you turn around to face Jeongin again. "Oh! Back to the cinematography for a second. I'm in love with the fact that they used film over digital. It's more expensive, but there is something about film that makes a movie better than a digital camera."

"I think it's the graininess. Digital is...too perfect if that makes sense. Y/n, turn around. You're more clumsy than me."

You roll your eyes and make a face at Jeongin, still walking backward. He scoffs as he rolls his eyes in response, the golden shine from the sun hits his face.

"I'm not going to fa--"

You cut yourself off as you stumble over a rock that definitely shouldn't have been in your path. You struggle to keep yourself upright, grasping the air for some sort of invisible rope to keep yourself from falling. You squeeze your eyes shut as your hand clasped around nothing, bracing yourself for the impact of the fall. Only, it never comes. Instead, you feel Jeongin's strong grip around your wrist, keeping you from hitting the ground. Unfortunately for you, you also feel the ice-cold soda that spilled all over you, soaking right through Soobin's jacket and straight to your skin.

"Shit," You mutter under your breath as Jeongin pulls you up. You lean forward, pulling the fabric of the shirt and hoodie away from your skin as you internally panic.

"I told you so," Jeongin stifles a laugh and he sets his drink and backpack down on the ground.

"Now is so not the time. What do I do?"

He quickly shrugs off his flannel and hands it to you. "Here,"

"A few things wrong with that. 1. I'll still be sticky. 2. We are in public, I'm not taking off my shirt."

Jeongin freezes for a moment, his face quickly becoming red as he stares at you.

"T-then let's head over to my car and I'll take you home." He stutters.

"It's fine," You gather up some of the fabric and wring a bit of the soda out. "I don't want to make your car sticky. I'll just walk home, it's not that far from here."

"That's stupid, let me just take you home,"

"Are you sure?” You ask hesitantly. Jeongin’s car has cloth seats. It’d be easier if he had leather seats. At least those you could wipe down and call it a day. No matter how much you scrubbed it, unless he got the car detailed, it wouldn't be fully clean. And you already know he's not going to get the car detailed.

"Just go Koolaid man," He picks up his things and gently pushes you in the direction of the car.

"Kool-Aid man is insane. I wasn't even drinking Kool-Aid." You protest.

"Yeah but it was red," He teases, running off into the direction of his car. "C'mon, let's go before you attract ants."

"Ants? That fast? Hey, Yang Jeongin, don't run and leave me here."

Your nose is instantly assaulted by the smells of sweat and alcohol when you walk through the door of the third frat house on fraternity row. With all the warm bodies, alcohol, and movement the temperature in the house is a stark contrast to the cool, refreshing air outside.

You're tired of bumping into people as you search the house looking for at least one of your boyfriend's friends. After your conversation with Soobin, you didn't feel like going out. But you knew that if you didn't go, it'll just lead to a fight. You also know that everything Soobin was saying is just the alcohol coursing through his veins, not him.

You shove your way past a couple of people who were blocking the path in the hallway. You let out a sigh of relief when your eyes land on Soobin, Yeonjun, Kai, Beomgyu, and Taehyun sitting on a couch, a few girls sit around them, talking. Yeonjun's left arm is casually slung around a girl that you don't recognize while Soobin sits on his right. Beomgyu sits on Soobin's right, a plastic cup in his hand as he laughs at something Kai, who's sitting next to him on a chair, said. Taehyun's back is to you and a girl is sitting between him and Kai.

Soobin looks at you through hooded eyelids, the corner of his mouth turns up with an annoyed smirk. "Oh look, she finally hopped off Jeongin's dick and decided to join us,"

"Dude," Yeonjun's jaw clenches as he smacks Soobin's chest with the back of his hand.

Beomgyu, Kai, and Taehyun's head snap towards you. You feel all the heat in your body, perhaps all the heat in the room, rush to your face. You can only imagine how red you are. Both Beomgyu and Kai fidget in their seats while sitting quietly. Taehyun just looks at you with soft eyes and a soft pout.

"I'm going to get another drink," Beomgyu mumbles, quickly getting up from his seat.

"I'll join you," Kai jumps up and follows him.

You press your lips in a fine line before forcing the corners of your mouth up into a smile and taking Beomgyu's spot on the couch.

"Sorry, I spilled soda all over myself. Got in my hair and everything." You explain to everyone.

"Sure, 'soda' is one word for it." Soobin slurs. Yeonjun hits his knee against Soobin's knee while Yeonjun while Taehyun shoots him a look. Soobin doesn't seem to notice either one of them, he's too busy staring at you.

"You're here now, so that's all that matters." Taehyun coughs, "How's fourth year treating you so far?"

"My courses are all pretty easy. Saved a bunch of my easy classes for this year so I'm coasting. I shouldn't fall behind when we start working on the film."

"Oh, oh," Yeonjun shouts, his arms shooting in front of Soobin to tap your hand. "Speaking of the film, did you start looking at the script?"

"Oh, Han and Hyunjin actually got the script done on time?" Taehyun asks excitedly, leaning forward in his seat.

"Seungmin threatened to work with a different writer if they didn't. And yeah, I finished with Jeongin during lunch today. It's really good!"

"Right? Those two are idiots but they're geniuses when it comes to writing. This is their best script yet." Yeonjun grabs your wrist and excitedly shakes it.

"What's this one about?" Taehyun asks, his attention fully on you and Yeonjun.

Yeonjun sits up straight, his arm no longer around the girl he was talking to and his hand still on you. "It's this coming-of-age film about these two guys who are best friends in their final year of high school..."

You don't notice that Soobin's eyes finally leave your face and zeros in on Yeonjun's hand on you. You don't hear the scoff he lets out or the look on his face. You're too focused on listening to Yeonjun describe the script to Taehyun. You don't notice anything until Soobin's warm hand finds the back of your neck and his wet thumb roughly rubs the skin towards the front of your throat.

"There, all better," He mumbles into your ear.

"What are you doing?" You whisper harshly at him, not wanting to interrupt Yeonjun.

"Something was on your neck, I was helping you," He hums, pleased with himself.

You freeze, not sure what to do. Soobin wiped off a bit of the makeup covering one of the hickeys he gave you. You don't have any makeup with you to fix it but you're not sure if anyone else noticed it. You ball your hands into fists as you stare at Soobin proudly smirking.

"What are you guys talking about?" Kai asks as he and Beomgyu finally make their way back to the group, drinks in hand.

They set the few bottles of water, soju, and beer on the table before sitting down. Beomgyu takes the now-empty seat next to Yeonjun and Kai takes his original seat.

"Junnie was telling me about Han and Hyunjin's script and it sounds amazing."

"Should we be talking about that here? Are you worried that someone is going to like, steal it or something?" Kai asks.

"Seungmin already submitted the paperwork to our department heads this morning. He spent all summer tracking us down so we could sign the forms so he could turn them in immediately." Beomgyun shouts, "So if anyone takes it, it's on them."

A necessary precaution that the university implemented a few years before you started to combat accusations of plagiarism amongst students. Why it took them so long is a wonder.

"Did you read it, Gyu?" You ask, resting your hand on Soobin's lap as you lean over him.

"What?" He shouts back.

"I asked if you read it?" You ask loudly this time.

Beomgyu takes a sip of his drink before shaking his head. "Don't need to, we're reading it together on Sunday."

"You guys are meeting to talk about it already?" Kai asks, leaning forward toward the group. In the distance, you can hear a group chanting about something.

"Seungmin is on one this year after what happened with last year's film." You explain.

"To be fair, Hyunjin and Han were driving all of us crazy with the last-minute changes. I can only imagine how bad it was for you, Yeji, and Innie."

"It was a pain--"

"Didn't Yeji tell them off?" Beomgyu accidentally talks over you.

"She slapped Hyunjin one day when she was going over the footage once."

"She did what?" Beomgyu tries to lean in closer to hear you over the cheering from inside the house.

"She--"

Soobin leans over, close to your ear. His breath makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up, "Maybe you should go sit on his lap so he can hear you better."

"It's nothing," You wave off before leaning back into the couch, chewing on your lower lip. Soobin throws his arm around your shoulder before taking another sip of his drink.

You're not too mad at him. Hurt, yes, but not angry. You know Soobin's been drinking and that is just how he gets. It's not fun, the attitude he gives you, but you know it won't last long. That in the morning, after he gets over his hangover, you'll have your boyfriend back. The one who skipped classes all week to take care of you when you had the flu. And takes you on cute dates. And mumbles that he loves just before he falls asleep.

Taehyun eyes shift between the two of you quietly before sliding over a bottle of water towards Soobin. "Why don't you have some?"

"Why?" Soobin blinks at the shorter man.

"Probably to give your liver a break," Beomgyu adds.

"He had two bottles of soju by himself before we got here." Kai quickly whispers into your ear.

You press your lips together again as you process what he just said. At first, you're not sure that you heard him correctly at first because of all the commotion going on around you. Realization slowly sets in on how drunk Soobin actually is right now. It explains his anger from earlier.

You plaster on a small smile before pressing a kiss into Soobin's cheek. You brush the hair out of his eyes and rest your hand on his face. "Let's go home, yeah?"

"You just got here and now you want to leave?" He furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

"I've had a long day. And last night...was a long night. I'm a bit sleepy." You try to convince him.

He scoffs, "I told you not to come,"

"You know what?" Yeonjun quickly downs his drink and stands up, "I have work tomorrow and the party is kinda lame. I think I'm going to head out. You guys want to come with?"

Everyone else agrees, either finishing their drinks or abandoning them on the table in front of you. Soobin rolls his eyes before finishing his drink and stumbles as he tries to stand up.

***

"You know, we only left the party because of you," Soobin says suddenly.

Soobin is leaning on you for support while the six of you are walking back to their house on the other side of campus. Beomgyu latched himself onto Yeonjun's back much to his dismay. Taehyun and Kai, walk behind you, talking about something with hushed voices. You know they're talking about you and Soobin. After his behavior, you're not sure how they couldn't be.

"You were embarrassing both of us." You snap back, finally getting annoyed.

Soobin stops dead in his tracks, causing you to stumble back. "I'm embarrassing you?"

"Let's not do this right now--" You gently place your hand on Soobin's shoulder to try to calm him down a bit, only for him to shrug it off.

"No, let's do this right now because you've been pissing me off today. Do you know how embarrassing it is to sit around, waiting for my girlfriend for hours while she's out doing who the fuck knows what with another guy?" He raises his voice. A few drunk stragglers turn their heads towards the pair of you as they walk by.

"Soobin, he is my best friend and we were out doing homework. I apologized for being late and I told you what happened."

"Why should I believe you?" He cocks his head to the side.

"Because I'm your girlfriend and I've never given you one reason to doubt me." You turn your head to the side and squeeze your eyes shut while taking a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down.

It's not his fault. He's drunk. This isn't your Soobin.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Why would I lie?"

"So you wouldn't get caught,"

"Doing what?"

Soobin steps closer to you, closing the space between you. "Why don't you tell me,"

"Hey, you two good?" Kai asks as he and Taehyun approach you.

"We're fine," You turn to shoot them a reassuring smile.

"Hey," Soobin roughly grabs your face and forces you to look at him. "Look at me when I'm talking to you,"

Before you could open your mouth to tell him to stop, both Kai and Taehyun are between the two of you. Taehyun shoves Soobin back while Kai checks on you.

"What is your problem?" Soobin laughs.

"What's going on?" Yeonjun asks, walking back to the group with Beomgyu in tow.

"N-nothing," You whisper, still thrown off by how harshly Soobin turned your head.

"I'm taking Y/n home," Kai says suddenly. You're not used to him being serious. You're not even sure you've ever seen him serious the entire time you've known him. You're not sure you like it.

"We were just talking, Hyuka. Stay out of it." Soobin tries to explain, walking forward, only to be pushed back by Taehyun again.

"You made it my business when you put your hands on her." Kai turns back to you, placing his hand on your head, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Hyuka. It's okay. He's just drunk, he didn't mean it like that."

A glimpse of sadness flashes across his face for a moment. More pity than sadness really. Almost like he's apologizing to you on Soobin's behalf. You're not sure why he feels the need to. You know that once Soobin is sober enough, he's going to come and apologize for his behavior. He always does.

"Yeah, no it's cool. Go ahead and fuck one of my friends. I'll just go back inside and find some desperate girl. Then we'll be even."

"Okay, dude, that's enough. Hyuka, Tae, go and take Y/n home. Gyu and I got this dumbass." Yeonjun takes Taehyun's spot and pushes him towards you and Kai.

"Both of of them? Now that's being greedy. Be careful not to choke on both of their--"

"What the fuck is your problem?" Beomgyu asks this time.

"C'mon, let's go." Taehyun orders as he gently pulls you away from your boyfriend.

You bite your tongue as you nod your head softly and walk away with Kai and Taehyin on either side of you. You know he doesn't mean it, but it still hurts. You've never once thought about cheating on Soobin, but to hear him say that to you hurts. Your heart is pounding in your chest and the cool air feels mazing across your face. You look back over your shoulder to see Yeonjun and Soobin arguing and Beomgyy texting someone on his phone.

"You okay?" Taehyun asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't that bad. But he'll be back to normal tomorrow." 

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

Taglist

Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you (either at all or properly)

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[gunsatthaphan]

the asks are piling up already lol so here are some initial thoughts on the trailers from today (in order of release, BL/GLs are marked with a 🏳️‍🌈, favorites with a 🌟):

Ossan's Love Thailand 🏳️‍🌈🌟: HELP this looks so chaotic lmao. I forgot about the show for a second and thought we were in for another EarthMix office romance kjdhgd. But yeah I have a very soft spot for Earth in chaotic slapstick roles and Mix fits in there just perfect as well. I have not seen the original and was concerned as a lot of people said it's not very good but I had a very good time with this trailer and I'm excited!!! .

Leap Day 🌟: I've been curious about this project ever since that casting call for younger versions of Dew and Pond lol and the trailer did not disappoint! The story seems interesting and I know Gun will eat in this role lol. It's going on my watchlist. .

The Heart Killers 🏳️‍🌈: **edit: not gonna lie, initially I was very disappointed by this. I was excited for the Jojo show but this seemed very random to me. I couldn't follow the story and the trailer just seemed like FK and JD were given a few guns and thrown into a dark setting which just seems like a clash of NLMG and OF. If JD weren't there, I would think this is a SandRay spinoff lol. I now know about the Shakespeare adaption which does change the way I view it a little bit but I still have concerns because I still have no idea what's going on lmao. I was hoping for something simpler and calmer for FK's new project so I really hope the show will be better than the trailer. .

Friendshit Forever: Legit thought this was a GL for the first 30 seconds of the trailer lmao but turns out it's another Beauty Newbie type of toxic friendship lol. I love the vibe though!!! the cast is amazing, Pat never fails to deliver and my girl Mook is back as well!! 🥺 I'm very much into the energy and the chemistries are on point as well. Sign me up!! .

Perfect10 Liners 🏳️‍🌈: If I took my glasses off I would think this is We Are season 2 lmao like do we really need another gay ensemble. And there's SO many others as well??? There were like 30 people on that stage lmao. New really said who doesn't have a job this year? done. I don't know what else to say, it looks very generic. I didn't expect PerthChimon to be part of an ensemble for their second bl and I sure did not expect ForceBook to get their 5th gig lmao. Good for them though. I'm still gonna take a look. .

Us 🏳️‍🌈🌟: YES I LOVE THIS 😩😭 I was hoping we would get another GL and I loooove the energy of this. It's giving all the COA vibes and I'm SO glad it's not another highschool romcom. 23.5 is nice but I'm so happy this is taking it one step further. I'm here for it. Emi was born for sapphic roles you can't change my mind lmao and her chemistry with Bonnie is on point. Simple story, big emotions and a strong cast - This is right up my alley. It's going on my list for sure. .

Hide & Sis: The title still cracks me up lmao but YES this is everything lol. The PLL/PSIHY vibes are STRONG and I love it. Snap25 never fails to deliver us badass girl gangs and I'm here for it. The toxic family trope is generic for these types of shows but if it's done right it works. And I think this will. Sign me up! .

Heart That Skips a Beat 🏳️‍🌈🌟: god don't even touch me this looks so lovely 🥹 I'm always down for a good idol x mundane romance lol and EstWilliam are a good pair for sure. It was kind of obvious that they would get something together but I'm still very excited. I didn't expect the whole LYKN group to be in it but I feel like this plot fits them very well. Plus the trailer is absolutely beautiful. Thumbs up!! .

Break Up Service: This looks meh to me, I'm surprised to see Jorin lol I didn't know she was acting. The story seems fun but the trailer did not catch my attention. It's a maybe for now. .

Revamp 🏳️‍🌈: Honestly I did not expect them to give us another trailer for this lol I was set on a different project for BounPrem. But yes this looks very expensive lmao and I'm hyped we're getting another vampire show this year. I also approve of the other cast members, especially Kay since I haven't seen him in forever lol and also Santa!! I will be tuning in! .

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist 🏳️‍🌈🌟: *starts vibrating violently* YES I FEEL NORMAL ABOUT THIS kjshdf call me crazy but this is my highlight of this lineup lmao. I got deeply attached to MarkOhm over the last few months and this is all I could ever ask for lmao. Ohm is my little squish and my boy Mark finally got his main role 😩 I'm so proud. The plot is not the most sophisticated lol but I am SEATED. GIMME. .

Dark Dice: This did not intrigue me whatsoever. Pass. .

The Ex-Morning 🏳️‍🌈: Anyone who spent any time on the internet in the last few months knew this was bound to happen lmao. I feel torn about it, K. is not off the hook but KS were my very first bl on-screen couple and I'm feeling very nostalgic about this comeback lol. I'm fond of the trend to bring back OG couples and I'm not gonna lie, yes, it looks good. The story is interesting and the fact that they play exes,,,, art imitates life lol. I think this genre suits them and hey, maybe this will become the second Cherry Magic. Let's see how it goes. .

Scarlet Heart Thailand: The trailer gave us next to no information, I'm guessing that if you saw the original you might have a better idea of what's going on but other than pretty costumes, this didn't give me much ground to make a judgement on lol. Let's see.

conclusion: All in all this lineup seems a lot more colorful than part 1 which is very exciting!! It had the typical light-to-dark structure that the first part (and all the previous ones) had as well but it's still more diverse than I was expecting. There are some disappointments and concerns but compared to part 1, this has a lot more promising projects that I will be tuning in for - Even the lakorns. I spent a lot of time on Twitter leading up to the event, so almost everything I put on my bingo card became reality lol. I noticed some changes in the production of the trailers where it seems that they are more carefully made and edited and I found myself connecting emotionally with them a lot more than in part 1. Overall I'm very happy with this lineup and I will be putting all of these shows on my watchlist with the exception of 1 or 2, which is something I couldn't say about part 1. Thumbs up!! 🧡

Let me know your thoughts!

[latenuitrambles]

𝕭𝖗𝖔𝖐𝖊𝖓 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖘 ( lyney x reader angst )

Note: so since the request only said angst I decided to go with angst no for comfort ( not sorry tehe) some minor spoilers for the first Fountaine archon quest if you haven't completed it yet ! As always criticism appreciated!

Requested by @heartsbyvalentina

thanks a lot <3 I'm sorry if this isn't what you exactly had in mind or if you wanted more angst with a happy ending T-T

TW: neglect, drifting apart, hurt no comfort, lyney is fatui because I love how much there is to explore with that. Not proofread :( so might be grammatical errors.

Your POV

The past few weeks had been tough. These days it seemed like lyney just didn’t have time for you at all. You had always known about his …..work. The one he didn’t talk about in public. He had told you when he confessed to you because he didn’t want your relationship to be founded on a lie. And you had understood. You were ok with the fact that he might sometimes not have time for you because you knew he did it all with good intentions. But these days it had become worse. Between his missions that had seemed to increase in quantity and his preparations for his show at the Opera, you couldn’t even catch a glimpse of his face properly. Lyney was up before you and returned long after you had fallen asleep. No more dates, no more him having silly magic shows just for you, even the way he talked to you seemed distant these days. You had tried to talk to him but he was always in a rush and put it off. Today, you decided you were finally going to confront him. 

It was way past 3 in the night when you heard the bedroom door creek open. Lyney entered and he was shocked to find you awake. “Why didn’t you fall asleep dear, you know how important sleep else you'll get dark circles on your beautiful face, mon amour.” Even now he was trying to sweet talk you. The grim look on your face didn't budge, “We have to talk about something, lyney. It seems as if these days we never even talk properly. I miss you. I understand you have certain duties but I can't go like this. It feels we are more like roommates than lover these days.” His face darkened. And yet he didn’t say anything. “You can talk to me about it, at least tell me what's wrong so that I can at least understand. Please lyney, I love you, I want this to work, I WANT US TO WORK. But not if you keep shutting me out and pushing me away.” A look of guilt flashed on his face before he masked his features again. “I can't tell you what is happening. You know I can't betray the House. Not after all it has done for me. And I had been thinking about this for a while, but maybe we should take a break.” You looked at him in shock. He couldn’t be implying what you thought he was. “So, this is it huh you choose the House over us?” He slowly nodded his head as he avoided your gaze. “I'm sorry mon amour but I have duties I cannot ignore, and you are a distraction. I hate that it had to be this way, but the House comes first.” You couldn’t believe him, you felt sick like you were gonna collapse. The tears in your eyes stung, threatening to fall. And so, you did exactly what he asked you to do, you walked away. 

Lyney’s POV 

He watched you as you walked away, keeping his own emotions at bay. He loved you, he truly did, but he could not risk you getting hurt. Not with the upcoming ‘plan’. Everything was going to finally begin, all the big plans they had set in motion. It was finally time. So, he had to let you go, both for your own safety and to make sure he was ready to sacrifice whatever it took for the plan to succeed. He had recently discovered that he was chosen to be ‘Fathers’ successor. That would put you in so much more risk. He could not do it to you, let you carry this burden. You deserved someone who could give you a safe life, not someone like him. For a second, he let himself wonder what it would be like was he not from the House, if he was just a normal Fountaine citizen. But alas, wondering gets you nowhere, because he did have duties, duties to the House, to ‘Father’, and duty to save the people of Fountaine. “For the greater good”, he repeated I his mind, over and over again, as he watched you walk away from his life.

End note: it seems I got carried away. Initially, I was gonna do a simple argument, but this idea struck me and I just had to write this. I love the lyney and the house and now he's probably the next harbinger ( he mentions the successor thing in his character story!) if it wasn't clear this is roughly around the time right before the archon quest starts hence the mention of his upcoming show at the opera!!! the plan is referring to the big fatui plan with the tampering of the Oratrice and Childe getting arrested. it is probably a very intricate plan and hence I wrote it like this. hope you liked it<3