doing some incorrect quotes for my characters and here are a few good ones:
Faye: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.
Landslide uncle!Bob: I don't follow the rules. I follow dogs on social media.
Landslide Bob: I've never encountered a problem that can't be solved by an spontaneous musical number.
Landslide dad!Bradley, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.
Faye: Be right back, gonna go hit the toilet for a quick power sob!
Landslide Bob: A fistfight CAN be romantic.
Landslide Bob, after having a nosebleed: Welp. Time to wash the blood off my hands.
Landslide uncle!Bob, lying on the floor, depressed: I'll never be a cop. I'm gonna have to be a robber.
Landslide Bradley: ...This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?
Landslide Hangman on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.
Landslide Hangman on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!
Landslide dad!Bradley, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.
Faye: What do you call disobeying the law?
The Squad: A hobby.
Landslide Bob: *crosses his arms*
The Squad: That we do not engage in.
Faye: I think my guardian angel drinks.
Faye: Woah dude, premarital handholding? That’s just not cool or groovy.
Landslide Bob, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like.
Landslide Bob: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.
Maggie: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.
Landslide dad!Bradley: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.
Landslide dad!Bradley: We got a free day now. What do you wanna do? Eat? Sleep? Nap? Snack?
Maggie: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy. (sorry this is literally evil)
Faye: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!
Faye, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.
Landslide Jake: My heart is guarded but like…very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.
Landslide dad!Bradley, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK?? Landslide dad!Bradley, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW!
Landslide Jake: Yeah I'm LGBT.
Landslide Jake: cuLt leader.
Landslide Jake: God hates me personally.
Landslide Jake: cowBoy hat.
Landslide Jake: *sniffles* Trying my best.
Landslide dad!Bradley: I’ve made a spread sheet of all the crime in Brooklyn.
Landslide dad!Bradley: There’s so much crime in New York, no one should live here.
Landslide dad!Bradley: I love the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows.
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