#i love bon clay so much and i miss him...

[hauntingblue]

Robin being scary collection

Kinda love how her eyes turn like mihawk's...

Luffy hitting crocodile with his blood will never not be hard af

Luffy ily part 746

Nami is asking Vivi to come with her and see all the world together.... I know it

Luffy and sanji in here.... Dumb of Ass and Kind of Heart (interchangable)

[base0h]

Hello,

Heard you’re looking for ideas so…

Here’s a crack one: The Straw hats working in a department store

Would they become employee of the month? Would they be fired immediately?

a/n - IM WHEEZING AT THIS— you are GENIUS bro holy crap 😭🫶 dude luffy would get fired so fast it’s insane— and imma just add everyone bc why not 😂

Warnings ⚠️ - MAJOR crack, multiple characters, I’m kinda dumb and might’ve forgotten people

they didn’t even make it past the interview 💀

.✩ kidd (tried killing the interviewer for asking him why he wanted to work there “I really am passionate about restocking— MF IM BROKE.”), buggy, bonney, paulie (did the same thing as kidd plus he parked in the manager’s parking spot)

literally within the first few seconds of the interview they’re hired | “My name is—“ “Can you start within the next few seconds?”

.✩ jimbei, koby, sabo, koala, izou, kaku, vivi

got fired the same day they started

.✩ luffy (ate the entire produce section and then asked the manager “is there more stuff in the back?”), corazon (he accidentally burnt the place down 😀), sanji (confessed his love and asked several female customers to marry him at his cash register), brook (asked for some poor random woman’s underwear 💀)

employee of the month every single month

.✩ jimbei, koby (old people always say how sweet he is to the manager bc he always helps them get the things they can’t reach 😭🫶), tashigi (kids hate her bc she catches them and scolds them if they take an extra candy/sticker from the cashier jar), vivi (accidentally gave herself this title when she’s the manager 💀)

the manager of the store

.✩ nami (steals money from the safe sometimes), aokiji (he literally never shows up to work on time and doesn’t give a shit what the employees do), akainu, fujitora, shanks (bro also does not care and comes to work hungover), dragon (has not shown up once since the interview), sengoku, garp, dadan, vivi, magellan

the sale sign flipper guy

.✩ zoro (if he manages to actually find his way to the store), bepo, ace, shachi, penguin, queen (you legit can’t miss him as you’re driving by 💀), yamato, oden, cat viper, bon clay, ivankov

they work solely in the back to avoid human interaction as much as possible

.✩ mihawk, law, smoker (he’s the guy that mans the big crane machine that moves huge boxes), hawkins, king, katakuri, smoker, lucci

they’re the CEOs of companies that are partners with the store and provide goods for the store to sell

.✩ crocodile (provides gut/immune supporting, healthy, all organic animal/pet food), doflamingo, kaido, big mom, whitebeard, moria (sells and produces copious amounts of Halloween costumes and other decorations)

actually decent employees

.✩ usopp, benn, x drake, robin, nojiko, baby 5, monet, vergo, franky, icebarg, bellamy (SHADOW FROM SK8 PLS TELL ME YALL SEE IT), hachi, killer

they start tweaking because they asked a customer how they were and they ignored them

.✩ shirahoshi (sobbing), bepo, sanji (asked a girl who had her headphones on), Uta (will get so pressed that they ignored her when in reality they just had headphones on)

they’re the reason why the store’s still in business | they’re basically the mascot

.✩ chopper, bepo, carrot, cat viper, dog storm

the dude everyone goes to for questions/help | “Idk go ask ___”

.✩ franky (has beef with cash register 4 bc it stops working for no reason only during his lunch break and never when he’s not doing anything), icebarg, kaku, usopp, lucci, jack, king, robin, jimbei

they’re the reason why no one likes to shop there | they have several weird allegations or felonies of some sort

.✩ trebol, caesar, diamante, dellinger, pica (he drives this mini car and always somehow fits inside it and takes up two spots in the parking lot), absalom, hogback (people have gone missing in the parking lot it’s scary), moria (would you wanna shop if you saw bro? Ik I wouldn’t 😭)

jobless for life ✌️

.✩ rayleigh (he slays idc), roger, yasopp

a/n - I think i forgot people but eh 💀 the one piece brainrot is so back 🙏

[deadite-central]

I love Alabasta I adore Alabasta I’ve got LOTS of thoughts about Alabasta

One of the better set ups in Alabasta to me is the way Crocodile is revealed. I want to make a separate post for him at some point when I have more time but, in short, the people of Alabasta see him as a hero because he keeps saving them, he’s created quite a rep for himself

And when Crocodile is revealed, it’s A GREAT REVEAL

Similarly to Mihawk, he has been set up already. We’ve seen him as a looming threat, and now we finally get a good look at him and MAN HIS DESIGN AND CHARACTERISATION IS SO GOOD

We get some more explanations around Baroque Works, which is good because it’s a set up needed for when they later meet up

And we’re also properly introduced to Bon Clay who I love so so much, a fun character even if they’re not on our side right now, and the friendship between them and the straw hat crew is forming

ALSO ACE IS INTRODUCED his introduction is great, he seems a bit like a threat at first but he quickly reveals the fact he’s Luffy’s brother, and all the interactions these two have for the short time he’s here in the manga are lovely, I missed him

Also this is more of a me thing, but I also love all the interactions between Crocodile and Robin, as there’s a genuine respect for each other between the two of them. They’re a fun villain du for now and I love that, there’s more on their characterisation and relationship when we get to later parts of Alabasta

It’s mostly like, behind every man there’s a girl boss waiting for his downfall lmao

I also love the meeting at Spider Cafe, because while sure, it shows us the people we’ll be dealing with, it’s also some fun interactions between the agents, which fleshes out their characters, and I really like that

[shima-draws]

Top 5 non-Straw Hat characters from One Piece?

Ooh yeah this is fun, ty!!

1. Uta :) I’m biased bc Film Red was p much the first OP related thing I ever watched

2. VIVIIIII I miss her so much

3. Ace 😳 Wow I really hope nothing bad happens to him at any point ever

4. Bon Clay <3333 MY MANS

5. Shanks!!! I’m sure I’ll probably end up loving him the more I see him. He just hasn’t shown up frequently enough yet lol

Also let me mention Conis, Noland, Paulie, Kokoro, Chimney…there’s so many side characters I really like 🤧

[kfedup]

Feeling extra post-y today so how’s about a Sunday Seven

Can you tell I’m procrastinating? I have a content review meeting tomorrow and still need to write 3 more web pages, but every time I open the tab with the main copy doc, my brain unplugs. So. Much. Nope. 

One of the weird long Covid issues I’m dealing with is smelling what can only be described as wet campfire smoke. Some days it’s constant, even in my sleep. Today is one of those days. There is no campfire in the neighborhood. Only the one inside my sinus cavity, apparently. It’s so bad today that i have screamed into a pillow twice. It’s extra weird because my sense of taste and smell were not at all affected during infection. 

Last night I used DoorDash for the first time. I had a Venmo balance that came from cooking for a friend. Every time I delivered a meal to her she sent me $20. Felt like a form of poetry to turn that cash into a bon voyage meal for my brother. We got wonton soup, pad thai, chow mein, and steamed ginger-pork dumplings. Thank you, Reginald, for your speedy delivery. 

I watered my plants and told them all how grateful I am for the luscious green energy they bring to this gray winter. 

I loved seeing comments on my earlier post saying how special and magical Mendocino is - I wish my brother didn’t have to figure out that’s where he wants to live out the rest of his life by leaving there and spending so much money on a dead end situation here. But, I’m happy he was able to go back. He landed in SF about an hour ago and is on a bus to Santa Rosa where a Mendo friend will pick him up for the last leg of the ride. He has an amazing network of friends and chosen family out there. Has his old job lined up, a sublet studio cottage, and a loaner car for a few months. It’s going to be ok. I just hope he can start to get his hands back in clay on the regular again. We need to make our art. 

While I’m glad he’s gone for a lot of reasons, I’m already missing having family around. It’s been good to be able to talk through some of the unspoken stuff from our childhoods. He’s ten years younger than me, but that age difference shrinks radically once you hit your forties and fifties. I look forward to visiting him in the magical place he loves so much. 

Who wants to write this copy for me? 

[silkendandelion]

Mirage In The Desert - Chapter 2 (3 Months Later)

Summary: Not everything is peaceful in paradise, and the circumstances of their relationship breed problems. Crocodile decides their relationship is not to last.

Rated Explicit for sexual content, mild violence, unsafe situations. Ongoing, will cover the Alabasta Arc. Cross-posted on Ao3, same username. Send me a DM: yell at me, send flowers. Cheers.

~*~

No one disobeyed Crocodile.

“I’ve never heard Mr. 0 that angry before, River. You might be calm but luckily for you, I worry enough for the both of us. So I declare, my Mr. i, that I refuse to let you go,” Bon Clay said as the former lit his cigarette, eyes fixed outside the window of the carriage.

“Mr. 2, you’re worrying for nothing. If he was going to have me killed for changing the plan or mouthing off, he would have done it months ago.” He exhaled the smoke out the window.

“I think he’s waiting for the perfect moment. And how about now when you’re so calm! At least let me take you to your front door. I don’t want you walking from the city limits anymore.”

“My home reveals my identity, you know we can’t go there. Rainbase is already a bit revealing but it’s a bit late for that.”

“I’ll bear the burden of your secret if it means you’re safe. Does your rich boyfriend know what kind of danger you’re in? Take me to him, I’ll make sure he can protect you with a little friendly sparring. I swear it’s friendly, I won’t even gloat when I beat his ass red and steal you away. Don’t laugh, why are you laughing? I’m completely serious.” Bon Clay smiled when they got their partner to do the same, finally looking relaxed rather than calm.

“That’s a beautiful smile, River baby.”

“I’ll call you if I have any problems… Ah, you have a gray hair.” He pointed.

“WHAT?!”

“Kidding! Goodnight, Bon Clay!” River said as he climbed out of the carriage, waving.

“What a mess… I hope he’s all right.” ____ ___ __ __

Even at night Rainbase managed to breathe and dance, filled with late nights bars and stalls of street food that tempted those who were stumbling back to their hotels with arms around their lovers. River stopped for a quick snack but was caught by a familiar merchant that knew his love of gold almost surpassed his love of jewels.

He smiled at him, waving him over. “Headed home, River? Come by real quick, we’ve had such a slow day and we missed you.”

“I know that isn’t true. But I have some time.” River showed his teeth, glad to be distracted from his side job by the sparkling tray of jewels the merchant produced from a glass case. He held up a pair of earrings inlaid with emeralds and sapphires, turning them to catch the light.

“These are new, I was saving them for you.” He looked around the shop. “Crocodile’s not with you tonight? It’s strange not to see you together.”

River's mouth twitched, frown almost imperceptible before it became his winning smile. “I had work tonight, I’m afraid. I won’t see him until later.”

“I have these for him, and I can have them sized and delivered in the morning—” His voice rattled on but River was only barely listening, gazing into the case.

“I’ll take that fountain pen. It’s beautiful, let me have that and the earrings. I’m sorry I can’t stay and chat, the day was long.”

“Of course. I’ll wrap these up.” The merchant prepared a satin box for both his purchases, receipt written but stuck to his outstretched hand when he paused. River was distracted, turned to stare at another display when the merchant spied a peculiar stain behind his ear.

Is that blood?

Dried and smeared to the back of his earring, it certainly looked like blood. He didn’t know what the islander did for work, he didn’t care to know too much about his customer’s outside their preferences, but that definitely looked like blood, perhaps he hurt himself, he should say something. So why couldn’t he speak?

“Something on my face?” River’s flat voice snapped him back. He took the receipt and managed a courteous smile despite how cold his eyes had looked, staring passed the merchant’s face and into his cells.

“Good—goodnight, River. Tell Crocodile I said we miss him.”

“Saludos.” ____ ___ __ _

In Crocodile’s suite, the warlord leaned back at his desk, blowing smoke to the ceiling as he listened to the voices in the hall. He could hear River, no doubt trying to assuage the servants that had tried to bring him dinner and were rejected, probably too harshly but he wouldn’t apologize. He’d dismissed Miss All Sunday as well for the evening already and would not be disturbed.

“I’ll take dinner, yes that would be wonderful, thank you. No worries.” He heard the door to the foyer shut, the gentle thud of River resting on the wood.

“Don’t yell at them. It’s a wonder they still feed you,” River called loudly throughout the quiet apartment, and Crocodile could feel his jaw threatening to cut his cigar in half.

“I see the walk did nothing to cool your head. Come here.” He said slowly, measuring each word to control his own temper. River gently set his package on a nearby table but went to the study without hanging his coat or removing his shoes.

“Sit down. I’ve spent the afternoon cleaning up your mess.”

He took his time coming to sit in the chair across from the enormous desk while Crocodile smoked and collected his thoughts. They didn’t ever waste time, it wasn’t like them, and the silence made him itch.

“Your orders were to kill him—”

“—and I refused—”

“—I didn’t give you permission to speak!” The outburst quieted him though he refused to shrink back even as his stomach flipped.

“Every time you have refused an order and come back to this house was because I allowed it. Your position within this organization is conditional upon your performance, the terms of our agreement are conditional upon your employment, Mr. i—”

“—Don’t call me that. I am—”

“—you are still a part of Baroque Works whether you want to leave your naive little head in the sand or not. The spirited way you have conducted yourself up until now ran its course the moment you jeopardized—” He stopped before he could say too much, breathing through his nose before beginning again, slower. “You have your orders and if you cannot follow them, you will return to Oasis. Is that understood?”

“And you’ll remove the protection from my island?”

“Choose your next words. Very. Carefully.”

“I don’t think you will.”

Crocodile’s chair scraped across the floor and River shot up to flee but was snagged, the grip on his arm keeping him in place.

“How’s that?”

“Because if you were going to kill me, you would have done it already—” The gleam of Crocodile’s golden hook shone in his eyes but he didn’t move. Neither of them moved. He stared passed the weapon, up to his face.

“You know I won’t harm you, Crocodile. I love—I love…” He swallowed as the warlord watched his face.

”...how we talk for hours, the way you look at me, how you touch me. I’d die for you, I would kill for you. But I won’t kill just because you ordered it.”

Crocodile released him and they remained scant steps apart. “You don’t know the extent of our circumstances, River, and you can’t. Everything we do has a purpose.”

He didn’t ask if he trusted him, he knew too well that the two of them were more intertwined than was ever part of the plan. Maybe if either of them had ever been well-adjusted young men, they could have predicted that sharing food, poetry, and secrets would turn into love. If the past year in Alabasta wasn’t River’s first time off the island, he might have resisted the fall. And if Crocodile had ever seen someone look at him with the type of affection that required no kind of exchange, he would have shown more self restraint. His tongue refused to form the words but he needed River to know he’s never felt warmed by only a voice, never felt cold from anyone’s absence. That he never had a taste for wine before he tasted it from his lips.

Maybe if either of them had ever been in love before they might have been better at it.

“Do you want me? Even still?” River said quietly, not letting him look away.

“You caused me a lot of trouble today.” He tried to scold him even as he held the smaller jaw and pressed them together for short kisses.

“I won’t apologize.” River felt a nip to his ear.

“Never apologize for your principles. You’re beautiful when you’re fired up.”

“Would you like to join me in the bath?”

“I have different plans for you. I’ll give you 10 minutes.” River shivered when the promise spoken against his neck was followed by a shadow of teeth.

On time to the second by the watch in his pocket, Crocodile entered the bedroom, finding a seat across from the edge of his bed. His dutiful lover was already waiting, the ends of his hair damp and sticking to his skin where his pulse was thumping. He watched him with silence save for the strike of a match and deep, even breaths. River squirmed, the impatient one, having been instructed to wear only his lover’s shirt and lay on the bed. He had a suspicion of what Crocodile wanted, but even if he submitted he would make the warlord work for his pleasure.

“Let’s begin.” Crocodile breathed smoke from his mouth, making no move to rise from his seat or remove his clothes. He would let his rebellious lover squirm and beg with no answer, a punishment that would soothe his wounded ego and please just as sweetly.

“Touch yourself,” He said and River’s hand went for his half-hard cock—

“—not there.” Crocodile exhaled, watching his hand skirt slowly back up his torso, uncoordinated and indecisive.

“Why are you acting shy? Take your pleasure. We both know you want the attention. Do not lie to me, beautiful, even with your body.”

“Tch. And I thought you appreciated my coquettish act.” He scoffed, pointedly ripping his borrowed shirt open and brushing away the fallen buttons.

“Point: Act.” He ashed his cigar as River laved his tongue over his own fingers, bringing them down to twist and pull his favorite nipple. His other hand reached back to the pillows to find a hidden bottle of lubricant.

“Sneaky. How long has that been there?”

River deliberately ignored his question to fumble with getting the bottle open. One hand continued to abuse his own nipples while the other circled his hole. He moaned, almost forgetting he was supposed to be performing while he slipped a finger inside himself, content to massage his walls and make indulgent circles and pinches to his rapidly reddening nipples.

“Don’t forget your primary task.” The gravel of Crocodile’s voice made him shiver, hurrying to press a second finger inside. He spread himself thoroughly to hungry eyes but the angle made it too difficult to graze his prostate in any meaningful way. Every tug to his rim made his cock ache, his stomach doing flips when he met the golden gaze that seemed to reach out and play with his body even without hands. The flush of being watched was hot on his face and neck, down to his dark nipples, shiny and forgotten when he got up on his knees to better angle his hand.

“Do not—”

“—Crocodile, please!” He gasped out, exposing himself completely when he arched hard, knees wide like arrows to where he was fucking himself hard on three fingers but couldn’t quite get there. Lube squelched loud in the too-hot room, bubbling around where he was most open and flushed, dick hanging beneath him and leaking a tiny puddle onto the sheets. His moans devolved into frustrated whimpers that had Crocodile reaching down to adjust the erection that tented the front of his slacks.

“Hush, pet. Get a hold of yourself.” He tried to appear disinterested as he ashed his cigar but the breath he took still stalled.

River’s frustrated cry made his dick throb and he played with a stitch on the armchair to prevent opening his zipper. He almost relented, reaching down to squeeze the base of his erection and blowing smoke from his nostrils. It was different with a familiar lover. The tension was sweeter to be caressed by the memory of the man he knew so well and yet have to keep his distance. If he focused he could scent him even over the cigar, or recall the give of pectorals under his teeth, the feeling of his slick skin under his palm as the other man bounced himself stupid on his cock.

That’s an idea. He thought.

“Stop. If you can’t please yourself, how can you expect to please me?”

He watched him roll onto his back, making sure his voyeur could see the way his hair draped over the foot of the bed, heated gaze staring at him from under wet eyelashes. “I don’t want to cum without you inside me. Please, Crocodile.”

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere,” He lied.

“I only need it to take me across this room.” The earnestness in his eyes, unable to deny how much he wanted, had Crocodile standing up so quickly he spilled the ashtray on the floor. Unprepared to be grabbed, River flailed with little grace and was deposited on the desk. The change of scenery was enough to break the spell, removing the coquettish veil he used to cause a reaction.

“Huh? Oh, this is fine. I thought you were dragging this out—ah!” He gasped, suddenly breached by two thick fingers that deliberately skirted his prostate.

“Get on with it, Crocodile, I’m already prepped.” He squeezed, trying to trap the hand inside him. “You were watching, I thought, or did you get hard from a daydream? Was it about me?”

Crocodile stood up straight suddenly, letting his full height loom over him and speak the disparity of their bodies. His eyes hyper-fixated on the bob of River’s swallow, predatory gaze finding a sweat drop trying to flee. He captured it with a swipe of his wide tongue, pleased at the whimper that vibrated against his lips.

“Have it your way, beauty. If you think that’s what you want.”

He was on him instantly, long legs pushed open almost too wide to accommodate the warlord’s wide torso, breath hitching when a jeweled hand gripped his collar and pressed him flat to the desk.

“Crocodile—“

“Quiet.” He bullied further into his space and at this distance he could see the way his pupils were blown out, lips barely parted in anticipation of his wrath. They remained unwavering, never flinching, even when Crocodile rubbed his thumb over the thin flesh covering his pulse point, feeling it flutter and twitch in a frantic arousal that vaguely mimicked fear.

“Do you ever listen to what you say or do you just like the sound of your own voice?” His words were punctuated by the grind of his cock against River’s open hole, a threat answered by a whine when he felt it catch. Crocodile’s big hand clamped around his jaw, forcing their eyes to meet.

“Put this smart mouth to good use and make that sound again. Scream for me.”

River howled as he was entered finally, head thrown back against the desk, feeling their hips pressed flush only for a moment before Crocodile set a hard rhythm. He gripped his thigh, hook keeping him spread wide, each pitch aimed expertly at his prostate. River moaned until he ran out of air and could only hiccup, murmuring incoherently among the sound of Crocodile’s golden belt buckle clinking against his thigh. A particularly hard thrust had him almost tumbling off the counter, the break in their rhythm letting him fill his lungs and wail as he was yanked back on to the cock that bullied his insides. He had no leverage on his back, nothing to do except moan, pinned helpless and feeling his orgasm come up on him too fast.

“I’m, uh, muh, Croc, p-please. I’m gonna—ah!” Crocodile brought his hand down on his flank with a crack, a reminder that he wasn’t allowed to make any more demands.

He tries to hold on, frantically sucking in air and stuttering out fragments of words, but his orgasm demands he clamp down on Crocodile’s cock, painting his chest in streaks as his voice breaks. Crocodile fucks him through it without breaking their rhythm, and he feels his dick give a valiant twitch at the image of his larger lover panting above him, strong white teeth bared as he wrecks him.

“Color.” He rumbles and River feels the air burn as he sucks it into his tired lungs.

“Green—oh!” Crocodile’s cock leaves him without warning, his insides throbbing with the memory of their coupling. The world tilts as he’s flipped, now bent over the desk. He manages to plant his feet and look down, seeing his own cock hang soft beneath him. It drags dribbles of cum on the dick seeking entrance, and he feels Crocodile mumble an apology as they slip together again. A leather shoe bumps River’s bare foot to have him spread his legs more, and he wonders in the fog when he lost his house shoes.

Behind him, Crocodile drives forward like he never left. Drops of sweat run off his nose and chase the dimples on his lover’s back. He thinks to check if River has regained his erection, but the way he moans, hips bucking back against him is his answer. Instead, he grabs around his neck so they’re pressed back to chest, thrusts slowing to grind deep and savor how every hit makes him ripple on his cock. He presses kisses to his ear, surrounded by his smell as River reaches back to keep their faces close and breath each other’s air.

“You don’t mean to upset me, do you—”

“—no no no, Crocodile—”

“—no, you don’t. Because you want to be good for me, don’t you?”

“I want to be good for you,” River moans, and he feels the gasp in his ear when he clenches down particularly tight.

“You are good for me, feel so good. One more time. Come on.”

Oh. Crocodile feels him clamp down, and the pulsing of River’s hole tells him he’s coming on the desk below them. He moans into the smaller man’s shoulder, feeling his hands shake as he comes inside him enough to overflow and leak from his swollen rim. Crocodile’s grip doesn’t relent until he’s spent every drop, depositing a kiss on his cheek before he peels them apart. The squelch of their separation and their panting almost feels louder than the sex in the suddenly quiet, humid room.

“If I was anyone else I’d definitely be pregnant,” River said, laughing breathless when Crocodile pinches his leg. He looks back to see the warlord has sat himself in his desk chair, pants still open and attempting to look not so out of breath.

“… Maybe it’s because I’m laying on it—” River said as he uses the furniture to keep from slipping to the floor. “—but I think you scratched the desk.”

Crocodile waves him off as he lights a new cigar. “Not important.”

He puffs slow circles to the ceiling as his eyes slip closed. The sudden sound of running water brings him back and he sees a naked River bundling his hair to the top of his head. Curse him for slipping away so silently, it made Crocodile nervous.

“Come on. I need another bath.” ____ ___ __ _

Recently, he’s let the Oasin stay more often than not in his bed, especially after taking their pleasure. On nights like these, a clear sky and moonlight illuminating his skin, the difference in their bodies is never more apparent. Crocodile runs his hand up the knobs of his vertebrae, admiring the curves of his shoulders that were meant for dance, not violence. A year ago, he worried about the harvest, the schedule of the tides, was the wash still on the line when it looked like rain. Tonight he was beneath him, taking his pleasure, and damp from a bath that washed him of a stranger’s blood. Both were at his own behest, and Crocodile felt his stomach swim with a familiar nausea. He’s taken this too far. River loved a version of him he was allowed to see. He knew his past and shared his books but was barred from the secrets right below his nose, behind the veil of Baroque Works. The coup was coming, and Crocodile had 28 days left to hold onto this warmth.

When he replaced his missing hand with a weapon he wondered if it would curse his touch to forever cause pain. And until now that was never a problem. But he was too close to the end, to his goal to change for one man.

You are an indulgence, River. Brought to Rainbase by extortion and forced into my employment to keep wildcards off the board. When all hands have been shown, you will return to your little island and realize that you hate me. Oasis will be sparred, as per our agreement. And we will become a memory you prefer to forget.

That is how it must be.

[yamatossideboob]

ONE PIECE 1026 Spoilers!

This week's chugs:

missing Soba girls… what sinister machinations are afoot…

smh Dorry and Brogy, aren't there more important matters to deal with? 😤

Nami is fucking GLUGGING that absinthe, I sure hope nothing strange or peculiar happens as a result!

I was genuinely taken back by the presence of absinthe tbh. It tracks that the giants would have a robust and varied liqueur cabinet, but absinthe just feels like a world apart from these mead-swilling colossi. That shit is decadent, maybe in Dressrosa I'd think nothing of it lol. It's HEADY too, not quite hallucinatory afaik, but you'd be proper munted on it for deffo. Which is odd imo for a culture so fond of fighting… maybe Dorry and Brogy imagined their beef 100 years ago lmao

Green fairy was my nickname in high school

LOL I love the Nika pose by Luffy holding the Flintstones meat bone.

Damn I wish Robin would eat me like that

YEAH GIANT SUPER POSE!!!! EVEN ZORO IS DELIGHTED

Bonney is so cute with her android father's corpse 🥺

Also I'm just fretting now but. istg if Oda undoes Kuma's death i am going to right fecked off

I wish i enjoyed this next segment more, but I can't help but see Barto as being underserved since the Grand Fleet formed. I doubt he's out for the count just yet, but I wish we'd seen more of him somehow. I hope at least we see him again for the final battle (and the rest of the GF PLEASE ODA)

In practical terms I appreciate that we're getting closure on this little sub-escapade. Plus Oda probably wanted to remind us that Shanks is in Serious Pirate Mode, can't be letting snots like Barto disrespect an Emperor.

tbqh I think more stan-brained weirdos should be made to drink poison.

The above said, I appreciate Bartolomeo getting this moment to shine. He could be a quality bro of Bon Clay nature when he leaves the parasocial nonsense behind.

Yasopp's actions here are interesting to me, it's like he's a Zoro to Shanks in making sure his captain keeps up the standard of Emperor. Neat little dynamic.

And with that, another vulgar star is snuffed out by Uncle Shanks. Barto & crew aren't dead obviously, I think he could use his fruit power to maybe encase the lot in a large sphere and hamster ball their way back to shore. I really do hope this isn't the last we see of him.

I LOVE THAT ISLAND MAN PIZARRO HAS LITTLE BANDAGES ON HIS ROCK SKULL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

just why is KOBY of all people important to getting the last ponegliff… Pudding is obvious given her ability to read them, but I'm blanking on why Koby is necessary… unless it was as collateral for some exchange of imprisoned pirates? Koby is a current golden boy but idk that he's that important rn… mysterious 🤔

Actually wait if that were true they'd be stoked by having Garp instead lmao nvm

But more importantly YAY MORIA ESCAPED AND CAN NOW MAYBE JOIN CROSS GUILD! I've always had a soft spot for Warlord Dracula, I'd love love love if he became a cog in the wider story again :3

also Sanjuan putting knocked-over buildings back is so funny and sweet. and tbh the next page scene of the BB crew hanging out is just nice, I love when crews just share company, it makes their comradery (or at least cooperation) that much more believable.

LMFAO HEY GRANDA HOWS IT FEEL TO BE LOCKED UP IN CHAINS BY A GREAT EVIL HUH????? fucking cop locked up in a pigsty, we love to see it

The Marejois siege continues, again love to see it!

Okay calling it now, Blackbeard is going to break the siege on for leverage in getting Fullaled nation status. This doesn't feel like much of a call, but BB is nothing if not an opportunist.

Pizarro picking up Devon and Augur's ship is cute 🥺

and now Blackbeard is one step closer to attaining an Ancient Weapon… interesting times are due friends…

Bonney staying to Jimbei is cute too 🥺 it'll be okay dw

"I wonder if it got chomped to bits by a big fish" Robin I love your fucked up sense of humour more than words can say

And now we have the highlight of the chapter: NEW NAMI OUTFIT!!!!!!!!!

This viking glam ensemble is beyond cute imo, I cannot wait to see what outfits the rest of the crew get on Elbaf!!!!

And we won't have long to wait, as there'll be another chapter next week!! Giant fun is ahead namaka!! 💪✖️

[opopnomi]

@afterdeck-ace thank you for all your encouragements dear <3 I chose Bon Clay for this request, I found it quite challenging to draw him. At first I didn't feel inspired, tried a few designs with different references (you are right, he would totally rock in a chiton) and then I remember this 18th century statue of a Bacchante, a priestess of Bacchus, I see everyday in the Château I work for... The theme looked quite nice for him, hope you'll like it! (original ref under spoiler)

Historical Fashion Event

Photo I took this afternoon in the gardens of the Château I work for... It's one of the prettiest statue and definitely one of my fav

[nix-writes-mcyt]

Your writing is so gorgeous, wow- uhm, could I ask for Scar (from any season, I don't mind!) with a GN!Reader who tends to notice smaller things about everything, but mainly about him and his builds? I watch him a lot and notice he kind of hums after he laughs and it's incredibly endearing <3 And all of his builds and character designs are so intricate, I can't help but get excited about the details! I don't mind if it's platonic or romantic, just wanna show Mr. Goodtimes some love!

I don't mind what format, headcanons or fics, everything you write is super :D

I hope it's alright, I took it in a slightly different direction but I do hope that you still enjoy it!

Little Things

Drabble Contains: Fluff -------------------------------

With one last pat to the dirt you sit back, happy with your work so far.

You admire the small but messy tree, wiping the mud from your hands as best you can. Today you'd repotted your bonsai, it needed a little more space for the root system.

The tree had been a gift from your long time best friend and romantic partner, Mr. Goodtimes. Scar had bought you it recently out of the blue, offering you no explanation. You'd taken the gift, and made Scar promise to show you how to take care of it.

Organics are Scar's thing, he has always had a talent for terraforming and shaping plants. While you have some skill you don't meet his level.

And so you had asked for his help to trim the leaves of the tree, which were the only other thing that needed tending to. The tree was still in pretty good condition when you received it, just in need of a little care.

Bang on time you hear the door open, Scar having set this time to come help you the other day.

"What a beautiful job you've done." The smile is evident in his voice, you don't even have to turn around to know that.

Scar comes up behind you, reaching around your body to run his fingers over the pot, the small pattern catching his attention first. "Did you make this?," he asks, feeling the texture of the glazed clay.

"I did. Do you like it?" "I love it, and I love you." You turn your head to look at him, Scar not hesitating to steal a quick kiss before coming to be beside you.

"I love you too, now will you help me with the leaves?" Scar nods, producing a small pair of shears from seemingly nowhere.

"I told you I would show you, so, let's get started." He smiles softly before turning his attention to the tree.

Scar delicately prunes the branches, making sure there will be no growth where it isn't wanted. Shaping the tree is a big part of the hobby after all, he emphasises that point in his explanation.

You watch carefully as his fingers brush over the leaves, the bark, carefully snipping away.

Once the explanation is over he continues to trim the leaves, humming as he shapes. Something he does no matter the project.

Watching him work has always been one of your favourite things. So much so it's hard to pay full attention to what he's actually doing. You're so focused on the little movements his hands are making, how gentle and precise he is handling the tree. How thought out ever little detail is, he never misses a thing.

Your eyes wander up to his face, his eyebrows ever so slightly furrowed as he focuses fully on what he's doing. His green eyes are fixed on the tree, twinkling with a joy you've seen countless times before.

There are so many things you pick up on, when he's tending to the garden or building something of his own.

When he works on something he loves there is always the ghost of a smile on his face. He always uses his hands to feel a surface before and after doing anything. Scar often will hum quietly as he works, sometimes a tune, sometimes in acknowledgement of what he's doing.

He's a wonder to watch work, you often do. Wherever you can.

"Your turn." Scar says suddenly. "I what?" "It's your turn, I am teaching you how to do this yourself. " He chuckles.

Slowly you take the shears from his hand. He keeps his hand over yours, guiding you to a section of the bonsai still needing a trim. The very tip top.

After the first few he lets go of you with a hum, content in watching you try yourself.

Scar still helps you with which branches need to be removed, until the tree is finished. It looks like it did before, just much neater and shapely. Although you can't take credit for its looks.

"It's beautiful, thank you." You beam, watching as Scar runs his hand over the leaves before following the curve of the trunk, some of the visible roots and all the way to the pot you have the bonsai now sitting in.

"I can't take full credit." He smiles, "you put just as much effort into this." "Oh don't be silly."

"I'm not, really, it wouldn't look nearly as good without the pot." He runs his fingertips over the small pattern, before turning to face you. "It's a beautiful tree for my beautiful partner."

"Oh Scar." You sigh happily, watching his eyes gleam with joy. He chuckles quietly, placing a kiss atop your head. It's the little things that make you both happy.

[diablademon]

I am watching One Piece for the first time. This is going to take awhile...

But hey, Im already at episode 122. I like crocodile, so Im happy.

Few comments on what I have seen so far:

Zoro become really loyal to Luffy quick. One of the reason why I started watching One Piece is the relationship between Zoro and Luffy. Not romantic just the trust and loyalty they have. But still, Zoro become loyal quickly. Zoro had known the guy for one day and would already die for him.

The syrup village act was unnessarasy long. Luffy fight with captain Kuro was draged out for way too long, nothing really happend. And Kuro used the same attack two times and somehow that was suppose to be scary the second time? When it barely worked the first time? 

Nami’s backstroy was brutal. While the others were in trouble when Luffy arrived and saved them, they had atleast pretty happy life untill then. Nami’s trauma lasted years before Luffy came.

I have heard of Zoros lack of diraction. But it didnt show that much. He couldnt navigate the sea and got lost and couldnt fidn his way back to his home island. But that isnt that suprising. Only Nami knew how to naviagate in the crew. It seemed more like he got lost stupidly easily after he got the cursed sword at Loguetown. Or am I missing something?

Warship Island arc was really boring. Read after it was a filler arc. I should have just skipped it.

That said, I loved that Nami just pushed Eric of the ship and everyone just laughed at the idea he now would drown.

I also love that while the crew recover quickly from injuries, the show do atleast show them recover. Like Zoro’s chest scar slowing him down in the arlong park arc and when he cut his legs after getting stuck on the candle cake he is shown to have scars on his ankles.

Wapol sucks.

Vivi really should have sit everyone down and explain the dangerous that one would face at arabasta. Like seriously Vivi! Stop ‘forgetting’ to tell everyone about the dangers of the desert!

Hey theres Ace!

I love when Luffy faces Crocodile. Crocodile trying to be so serious and menacing and Luffy is being Luffy. Crocodile must get such extrem headaches just by being around the boy.

The Intos are spoiling whos next to join the crew. Its annoying.

I like hearing Crocodile speak.

I also like hearing Bon Clay speak. For complelty different reasons.

Thats that for now!

I will probably write more posts because I have no one to speak to about One piece. No one of my friends have watch it and are just ignoring me. :c

Back to watching more episodes.

[thewildomega]

Star in the Sand Ch.19

Walking into the stock room Bentham placed down the crate of fruit and let out a sigh. It had been a close call today but they had all gotten what they needed and gotten back safely. Still he was confused about that woman. He knew he had seen her before. She had even known his name. She wasn't like most of the prisoners here, she hadn't begged to be freed or for food. She had willingly given him back the fruit he had dropped. Kindness was uncommon in a place like this, as was manners. Just who the hell was she?

Tapping his chin as he walked back down the hallway and towards the main room he was so deep in thought he hadn't heard one of the occupants of the bar calling his name until he spoke again. 

"Queen Bentham? Is everything okay?"

"Ooo?" he said and then turned towards his friend Ken, "Oh I'm just trying to figure out a familiar face. This woman on level 5, one of the prisoners, she returned the fruit I dropped and knew my name. I know I have seen her somewhere before I just can't place her."

"You don't think she was just acting in hopes you would help her do you?" Ken asked as he sipped his drink. 

"No she didn't seem the type." he hummed. "Y/n...Y/n... where have I heard that name?"

"Y/n... I've heard that too." the bartender spoke. 

"You have?"

"Yea I wait a second..." 

Watching the woman walk away he blinked and looked to Ken who just shrugged his shoulders. As the woman walked back over with an old newspaper in her hand he moved closer to the bar. 

"Yep, here you go I knew I had heard that name before." She said, handing the queen the old paper. 

Taking the newspaper from her he lifted his nose as he looked down at the page and saw the woman's picture, her bounty. "Firelocks Y/n... yes that's her." he grinned. Dropping his eyes down to the other part printed he felt his mouth fall open and his eyes go wide. "Mr. Zero?! She's... oh my.... oh I have to go help her!" he spoke dropping the paper and going to run away. 

"Wait Bentham what's going on? Who is she? And who is this Mr. Zero?" Ken asked, grabbing the queen's arm as he went to run away. 

Showing him the paper he pointed to the woman, "This is her, Y/n and she is apparently affiliated with Mr. Zero..."

"Crocodile? The Ex warlord?" Ken questioned leaning closer to the pictures. 

"Yes. He was my old boss. Oh I cannot just leave here there to freeze to death, I must go help her." 

"But Queen Bentham you don't even know her..."

"It matters not, I like to think Mr. Zero and myself were at least somewhat friends and I can not allow what could possibly be his bonded to perish in that hell." He exclaimed to them. 

"Okay well even if you want to get her out we will have to wait and devise a plan. We can not go for her today not when there was such a close call earlier." Ken spoke, being the voice of reason. 

Sighing and dropping his shoulders Bon looked down. "I suppose you are right Ken-Ken." Snapping his head up he held up his finger, "Very well then in three days time we will go and rescue Y/n." he declared and saw them nod. 

...............................

"...Without you there'd be no sun in my sky There would be no love in my life There'd be no world left for me And I, baby I don't know what I would do I'd be lost if I lost you If you ever leave Baby, you would take away everything real in my life And tell me now How do I live without you I want to know How do I breathe without you If you ever go How do I ever, ever survive..."

Mumbling the lyrics to yourself as you laid on the bench you stared at the picture of Crocodile with lidded eyes. You were so cold, you couldn't much feel anything anymore but still your arms stayed wrapped around your middle where the warmth was needed most. Hearing a distant sound made you stop your quiet singing. Sighing you closed your eyes, meal time. While you should be excited to get the little food you so desperately needed you hated having to move and listen to the men in the opposite side of the cell harass you. Staying put you kept your back to the guards as they tossed in your cell's food rations. It was strange that you didn't hear the men fighting over it instantly, normally they were like a pack of starved dogs.

Waiting until the guards were gone you finally turned over to look towards the food. Seeing the four men sitting back eating on the half frozen food quietly you furrowed your brows. Glancing down to the floor you saw a small portion of meat and bread still laying there. That was odd, normally they would be trying to reach it as hard as possible, the chains on their wrists holding them to the walls, digging into their skin enough to drawn blood. Maybe they knew they couldn't reach it. They didn't even seem to be paying you much mind. Maybe they finally got the point. Moving your stiff legs over the side of the bench you stood, feeling those pins and needles as you started taking steps over towards the food. As much as you hated moving you had to get the food before it froze to the point of being inedible. Not that it was to begin with but you couldn't complain much, you needed food, your baby needed food. 

Taking a glance to the men again you still saw them eating their own food, their eyes not even glancing your way. Bending down you winced as your joins protested lifting the piece of bread and meat you went to stand when suddenly you saw the men move. Quickly going to run back to your side of the cell you stumbled when your numb limbs took too long to move. Feeling a hand wrap around your ankle you gasped and let out a cry as you were pulled back to the ground. Kicking and struggling as much as you possibly could you stared down at the man that had managed to grab you. 

"Got you now bitc..."

Landing a hard kick to his nose you felt his hand release you and rolled over to crawl away when you were stopped again. "No... let me go..."

"You fucking cunt." the man yelled, holding one hand over his bleeding nose while the other one grabbed her ankle again. 

Feeling another hand grab the other ankle you growled and thrashed but hissed out when you were snatched backwards, your back burning in pain as you were drug across the frozen ground. "No! NO! Let me go!" Yelling you fought then to the best of your ability but it was four against one and you were already very weak. Going to scream you heard them laughing, a hand slapping over your mouth while others held you down. 

"This could have been much easier for you if you would have come willingly when we told you to the first time." 

Still trying to thrash in their hold you heard as their chains rattled and then the sound of ripping before your felt what little warmth the clothes provided get taken away. Tears filled your eyes when rough, cold hands started touching you none too gently. Screaming at the top of your lungs around the hand you closed your eyes tight, feeling the warm tears run down your temples. 

"I get her first." 

Looking up through blurry eyes you saw the larger man, the one with the long beard and messy hair move overtop of you, pushing himself between your legs that were being held open. Seeing him smirk at you as one of his hands moved down you felt true fear take over, your soulmates name coming out as a muffled scream. As soon as you felt the warmth from the man's body it was suddenly gone and you snapped your eyes open at the familiar voice. 

"You bunch of sickos. How dare you." 

Watching as Bon Clay kicked the man in the throat before turning on the others you shook. Scrambling up when you were released you wrapped your tattered shirt around your body as best you could. 

"Taking advantage of a defenseless woman like that." he yelled, swinging his foot across all of their faces. 

Flinching when you felt someone else touching you you snapped your eyes up to see another man. His skin was a medium brown and his black hair was curled upwards into a ball of sorts. 

"Shh it's okay sweetheart I'm not going to hurt you." Ken told the frightened woman as he wrapped the blanket they had brought with them around her trembling form. 

Hearing a splash you turned back to see Bon Clay and a woman tossing a bucket of water onto the group of men who were laying unconscious on the ground. As the two turned towards you you swallowed hard. 

Seeing the slight fear in the woman's eyes he smiled at her. "Come on Miss Y/n let's get you out of this retched place." 

Before you could object you were being lifted up and looked to see the brown man from before carrying you in his arms out of the cell. They stopped only for a moment to close the cell door before you all were walking into the forest that you had passed on the way in. Your heart beat like a hammer in your chest and you couldn't help but still shake as you were carried towards level 5.5.

"Tell me Miss. Y/n how is it you know Mr. Zero?" Bentham asked. 

Swallowing hard you looked to Bon Clay, "h..he is mmmy soulmate."

Smiling largely he clapped his hands together and spun around, "Ooo how wonderful. I knew there was a soft side to Mr. Zero." 

Being carried into a room and sat on a padded table of sorts you saw boxes labeled as medical supplies laying around. There was a screen of sorts separating the room and you started to look around but didn't get to look far before Bon Clay and another man or woman , you couldn't quite tell was walking over to you. The person wore a white lab coat that was cut short and fishnet stocking. Their blond hair was done up into a beehive look and make up was caked onto their skin in what reminded you of the old pin up style. Still their red lips pulled up into a large warm smile as they came to stand in front of you with Bon Clay. You clung to the blanket that was wrapped around you earlier, your body still trembling even though it was rather warm in the room. 

"Miss. Y/n this is Hilda, our medic of sorts. He's going to give you a quick check up." Bentham told the woman and saw her nod. 

"Now honey let's drop this down for a moment so I can look at you." Hilda spoke as he gently pulled the blanket off her curled up shoulders.  Seeing the shirt on her torn he looked to Bentham and saw the queen give him a look he understood perfectly. "Can we take this rag off of you?" he asked and gently pulled on the fabric, feeling her slowly release it from her trembling fingers. As the shirt was removed he saw her curl up some, her arms wrapping around her lower abdomen. "Queen Bentham could you get a warm bath prepared." he spoke and saw the man nod and walk away behind the screen. 

Slowly you relaxed a little as the doctor went about looking you over. It came as no surprise that you had a good amount of frost bite but Hilda said that they could fix that with some soaking in warm water. You back had been scraped up when those men had drug you across the ground along with a few other scrapes and forming bruises. The self proclaimed doctor remained kind and patient throughout your exam, pulling a sheet over you when he noticed your bashfulness. He had taken your vitals to make sure there was no other cause for worry but when he had went to feel you stomach you tensed and quickly covered the area with your arms. 

"Did I hurt you honey? Is something wrong?"

Licking your lips you felt your heart beating hard against your ribs. The whole time you had been here you had managed to keep your pregnancy a secret. While no you didn't know if your unborn child was still alive you wouldn't risk something happening to it if someone knew. It was no secret how much you and Crocodile were hated and unfortunately that hate would no doubt roll over to your child.

"Now honey you can tell me, I am a doctor after all and if something's wrong I can help." Hilda told the woman placing his hand on her shoulder reassuringly. Watching as the woman continued looking down for a moment before her teary eyes slowly lifted to his he furrowed his brows until it clicked. Covering his mouth with his hand he felt his eyes go wide. "Ummm Bentham sugar we've got a situation over here." he called, his voice rising in pitch a little. 

Seeing Bon Clay hurry from behind the screen and look to you and Hilda you took a deep breath when his slightly worried filled eyes looked you over. 

"Would you like to tell him or should I?" 

Licking your lips you looked into his make up lined eyes, "I... I'm pregnant." 

"WHAAAA?!" 

..............................

Waiting outside of the room Daz leaned against the wall with his eyes closed and his arms crossed over his chest. He could hear the deep, growl of his Captain inside of the room and sighed as a choking gasp was heard shortly after. There went another one. Standing there for a few short minutes after he heard the thump he pushed off the wall and moved towards the thick wooden door. Opening it he saw only the back of the black leather chair, smoke coming up from behind it. Glancing down to the floor he rose a brow at the drained corpse laying there. "I take it he didn't agree to the terms?" he asked in a calm voice. 

"He thought he could get cocky with me." Crocodile responded in a cold voice. 

Humming Daz moved to the now empty sofa in front of the desk and sat down. "So what now?"

"Find me another person more suitable for the job." 

"You keep killing off people and no one will be willing to work for you." to this he only heard a grunt. That had been the fifth person to face Crocodile's wrath since they had settled on this island. It had been four months and one week since Y/n had been taken, sentenced to Impale Down and since then the man had changed. Crocodile had never been a people person, he was hard to understand and even harder to work for but once the woman had come into their lives he had become bearable, more reasonable. That had all changed now. Y/n had been the only person alive that had the ability to calm the beast that was Crocodile. Most wouldn't have been able to tell the difference but he could, he had known the man for close to ten years. He'd go to say that the man was even more cold now than he was during their time in Alabasta. Loosing his soulmate and child had changed him. When Y/n had been taken he was sure she took Crocodile's heart with her. 

"Why are you still here?" Crocodile asked, feeling the presence of his right hand man still in the room. When there was no response he puffed on his cigar, "If there is something you want to say, say it." 

Opening his eyes that had been closed he stared at the back of the chair and took a deep breath. "You can't keep doing this." 

"Going soft Daz? You never had a problem with the killing before."

"Before it was business, this time you are killing because you think it will help take that hurt away..."

"Daz." he warned, his teeth biting down on the cigar in his mouth. 

"Do you think she would have wanted you to become this? How do you think she would feel if she knew others were loosing their lives because of her.."

"Get out." 

Hearing the man's voice drop to an almost animalistic growl he closed his eyes and sighed. Standing he grabbed hold of the dehydrated body and moved towards the door, stopping in the frame. "She loved you and more than anything she wanted you to be happy."

His response was a blast of sand that was slamming the door closed, leaving him alone in the dim room. He listened to Daz's footsteps grow further down the hall before the sound of the main door being closed filled the empty manor. Staring out the large window he watched it rain, the sky darkening as the hidden sun made it's way below the horizon. Blinking slowly he breathed out the smoke that had been filling his lungs. Happy. She wanted him to be happy. He knew that, she made it obvious, always doing whatever she could to make him smile, to make him laugh. Closing his eyes he let himself drift back to those boring days on the ship. 

Writing in his log book he puffed away on one of his cigars. Rain beat against the ship that rocks in the rougher seas. It had been raining all day and he wasn't the only one that was bored, the sighing and groaning coming form the bed every few seconds proof enough. "You are acting like a child that can not go outside and play." 

"Better than being a grumpy adult like you." she grumbled. 

"I'm working." he told his soulmate but heard her only grumble even more. 

"It's so boring." 

"Draw something."

"I don't feel like it." 

"Read a book." 

"I already finished them all." 

Sighing he tapped his pen against his hand, "Find something to do, you are keeping me from my work." It was quiet for a moment and then she spoke again. 

"How much does a pirate pay for corn?" ..... "A BUCK-an-eer."

Blinking he adjusted the cigar in his mouth but didn't make another sound. 

"What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?" ........ "Beat it, we're closed." 

Biting down on the rolled tobacco he felt the corner of his lip tug upward but tried to focus back on his log pose. 

"How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach?"... "It's not hard."

"How did the pirate get his jolly roger so cheap?".... "He got it on sail."

Huffing out he wrote the events in his book. 

"What did one broke hooker say to the other?"... "Can you lend me ten bucks till I'm on my back again."

Not being able to stop the small chuckle that left his throat he stared at his book, wondering what it was he was going to write. 

"What the elephant say to the naked man?".... "How do you breath out of that thing?" 

Closing his eyes he rolled the cigar and shook his head, his lips lifting into a smile that he was trying desperately to hold back. Placing his pen down he plucked his cigar from his lips to tap it in the ashtray. 

"I would tell you a BDSM joke but I'm working out all the kinks." 

"If blue birds have baby blue birds and Robins have baby robins then what kind of bird has no baby birds?".... "Swallows." 

Laughing he stood from his desk and turned to walk over to the bed, his soulmate laying on it looking up at him with that carefree smile on her face. Laying beside her he held his head up in his hand, his left arm thrown over her with his hook by her hip. "Are you happy now, you've pulled me from my work again." he asked her. Feeling her hands wrap around his neck, her fingers playing with his hair, he saw her nod. 

"Just doing my job."

"And what would that be?"

"Making you smile."

Huffing he leaned down to meet her lips in a kiss.

What he wouldn't give to hear one of her jokes again. To see her smile, to feel her lips on his. He'd do anything to have her in his arms again. Give up this life, the life of a pirate, the life he'd worked so hard to achieve. He'd settle down on some rural island, work a farm like he did when he was a boy. They'd live a quiet life, raise their child together... probably make a few more. He wondered what they their children would have looked like. Would it have been a boy or a girl, a son or a daughter. He wouldn't have cared either way but he would have loved to have a boy, a son, someone to carry on his lineage. He wondered if they would have looked like him or her, maybe a good mixture. Her eyes though, he would want them to have their mother's beautiful eyes, those striking sea blue eyes that he could spend hours starring into. His favorite time to stare into her eyes were when they were making love, when she was looking up at him with him on top of her. Those beautiful eyes although lidded and hazy with lust always looked at him like he was the whole world, her world. It was a look he would never see again. 

Opening his eyes he stared at the droplets of water running down the window pane. Standing he walked from the room and down the dark hallway towards his room, his cold, lonely bed. Feeling that sharp clenching in his heart he grit his teeth, it was a pain that never fully went away but occasionally would worsen. He knew enough about soulmates to know that it was times like this when she was hurting, that she was suffering. Going to his bathroom to shower he removed his scarf and unbuttoned his shirt before removing his hook. Shrugging his shirt from his shoulders he went to unbuckle his pants when the pain in his chest became almost unbearable. Gripping the counter to hold him upright he closed his eyes. 

CROCODILE!

God it was like he could hear her screaming his name in his head. Gritting his teeth, the pain was suddenly gone and he was left feeling drained and alone. Alone, his inescapable fate.

.............................

Staring down into the steaming water you rubbed your hands over your still flat stomach where life still grew. Your baby was alive. Hilda had confirmed it, he had even let you listen to the baby's light heartbeat. While Hilda had said that you were far underweight and so your baby was most certainly well below the size a normal four month fetus should be it was alive. You and Crocodile's child still grew in your womb. Biting the inside of your lip you felt tears fill your eyes. 

"Did he know?" Bon asked from where he sat a little ways from the tub. 

Nodding you swallowed hard and looked up to the man that had saved you from freezing to death. "We had just found out the night before I was taken. H...he was happy." you said before having to sniffle. Looking down you saw your tears fall to the water, ripples moving out to the rim of the wooden tub. "It's funny, I was the one that was unsure, worried about how he would react but he remained as calm as ever. H..he told me we would be okay... that we would take it on together." not being able to hold back your small sob you closed your eyes. "I..I'm sorry." 

Sniffling Bon shook his head. "No no. Don't apologize it's good to let it out." 

Wiping your eyes with your fingers that you were starting to get feeling in again you took a deep breath. "I think about him constantly... I didn't... before I didn't know if it was still alive. I know it probably sounds horrible but at times I wished it wasn't. It isn't that I don't want it I just... I didn't want it born into this. Now that I know though I... well I'm happy but at the same time it doesn't feel right. Croc he... he won't ever know... our baby will never know their dad. We'll never be a family." you cried. 

Dabbing away the tears that filled his eyes as he listened to Y/n's sorrows he sniffled. Looking down from the broken woman she finished he blinked. Silence filled the air for a moment before he shot his head up. "Yes he will."

Looking to the Queen you knit your brows. "Wha..."

Standing he struck a pose, "If it is the last thing I do I will make sure you and Mr. Zero are reunited."

[afterdeck-ace]

I'll be the only one asking but I don't care! Even though I already know the answer most of the time. hehehe.

Can you do pairings? Like Shakky/Rayleigh? Or just both separately?

I'll be back. ;)

Silvers Rayleigh

I’ve lost everything I had already written so Let’s do this! again

Favorite thing about him: EVERYTHING. Strong old man robbed my heart. Former Pirate King’s wingman. Long white hair with perfect weird beard. Neat glasses, coolest scar and dazzling smile. No devil fruit but sword and haki master. Married to Shakky. Wize, dependable and free. We know so little about his backstory but it’s already epic. HE SWAM TO AMAZON LILY WHEN HIS BOAT SANK. He has to outlive the end of One Piece or I’ll riot.

Perfect mentor. Level-headed with good teaching skills, be it for Luffy or Buggy and Shanks and Roger in his early pirate days. He is a will carrier too.

We don’t see him that much but he showed such a wide panel of emotions and was in just so many different situations! He smiled, laughed, cried (twice on screen!!), thought, read, joked, coated a ship, got locked in an auction house... He’s admirable yet he has this wild and crazy One Piece side. He’s such a complete character! One of my favourite!

Least favorite thing about him: His need for freedom, to the point he might leave for months at times. I understand it but yeah... Shakky is pretty chill about it though.

Favorite line: Couldn’t quote but he’s so insightful at times. Him remembering Roger and wiping tears away is one of my favourite scene. Saying we’re always too blind to see the signs Fate might be sending our way... I also loved his scene with Robin, when he admits he knows everything about the Void Century and offers to tell her. We also learn he knew Clover and that Ohara and his own crew might have been to hasty/ahead of their time. (Which has been not as much as confirmed but truly hinted recently)

brOTP: with Roger and his crew, of course. Maybe with Garp too. A friendly rivalry.

OTP: Shakky/Rayleigh, obviously. It’s canon! And it would be the only one if I had to choose an OTP for One Piece. Ray/Roger is ok for me too, but only if it’s in the past.

Go look and like and reblog that amazing fanart made by @zen-the-derp-carp! It’s currently my laptop wallpaper and I’m in love with it.

nOTP: Just like Shakky, I don’t want him paired with anyone but her.

Random headcanon: Bisexual Rayleigh for the queer rep and because you can’t tell me it wouldn’t suit his already amazing persona. And the open relationship I touched upon with Shakky’s ask. Good cook but too lazy most of the time. Cooking for Shakky is different though hehehe.

Oh also, Shakky and him are “terrible” parents. Loving, nurturing, supportive in your youth but honestly just waiting for you to take off and go out in the world. They will gladly help if you’re in trouble, but they’ll be glad to find back their freedom when you’re gone.

Unpopular opinion: It’s about the Ace Novel: there’s no way they didn’t cross paths in Sabaody when Ace first came with the Spades to go to the Fishman Island. Skull even said he knew “a guy” for coating their ship and gosh, I’ve never wished this strongly this guy was Rayleigh. It might have been but all we had is a fade to black on that part and it’s so frustrating.

I mean, this book is pretty much an authorized fanfiction, considering what happened with Shanks (or Kotatsu’s “feelings”), Rayleigh could have featured easily too. Such a missed opportunity. Instead we had thirty page of circus fight alongside Teach no one fucking cares about. Yes, I love-hate those novels with a passion.

Song I associate with him: The struggle is real for this one. I think the One Piece soundtrack we hear when he’s around suits him well. Something quiet with an underlying power/strength. If Bon-chan is a harp, Marco a cello, Brook a fiddle, Ray is definitely a piano.

Thanks! Hope you like it obsess-chan! <3

Done for Character Ask: Brook, Shakky, Buggy, Marco, Bon Clay, Rayleigh. Awaiting: Law, Ace and Shanks!

[snurps]

zolu!!!! :D

send me a ship and i’ll reply with

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

*slams fists on table* YEAHHHHHH zolu’s my main otp!! they just trust and understand each other so much, and they were the first two straw hats, and they’re just so wholesome and loving and soft together, but they’re also a power couple for sure.

usopp is probably luffy’s best friend on the crew, esp for goofing around, but i think zoro is honestly pretty close too - they spend a lot of time exploring together in arcs and fighting together and stuff if you pay attention. i honestly feel like you can say luffy is the most important person to zoro in the world. he’s constantly looking out for luffy, and he seems so comfortable and quite smiley around luffy, especially after the time skip, like he’s been missing a part of himself for so long and finally found it again when they reunited. 

as for luffy, i feel like he and zoro are just often on the same wavelength, and there are multiple examples where they silently understand each other’s perspectives and values, and luffy is obviously comfortable with trusting zoro with the safety of the crew. when zoro keeps him in check as a captain, luffy may not always immediately seem to show it, but i’m sure he listens.

let me just list my favorite zolu moments (as in all of them askdhadjd):

their first meeting where they immediately start fighting in sync and when zoro calls luffy captain

zoro almost freaking dies in orange town because he insists on carrying luffy’s cage himself (and how luffy freaks out when buggy destroys the major’s house where zoro was sleeping)

luffy and zoro teasing usopp together iirc when they first meet him too

luffy holds himself back but painfully watches as zoro loses to mihawk, then immediately rockets over as soon as the fight is done

zoro’s about to throw himself into the water to save luffy at arlong park when sanji says that he’ll do it instead because zoro’s too injured

while sanji and usopp are waiting outside, luffy sits by zoro’s side after arlong park as he’s screaming while the doctor fixes up his wound from mihawk (ouch)

while everyone else is focused on getting merry up reverse mountain and/or generally freaking out, zoro’s the one to catch luffy’s hand to make sure he gets back on the ship after he does his balloon move

zoro and luffy whiskey peak fight lol

zoro getting so worried about luffy fighting crocodile the first time that he starts stress lifting eyelashes the camel

zoro and luffy silently understand each other and don’t fight back at the bar in mock town (there’s a doujin i read where luffy comments that he felt fine at that moment because zoro was there standing beside him and i just ashdkshd)

zoro tells luffy that he has to be strong as the captain or who else will they look up to?

zoro and luffy blast a hole in the aqua laguna while on the sea train (what’s 108 times 2? 216. that’s too hard to say. then just say 300.)

also when luffy orders zoro to cut up the train cart in the way and zoro just does it

kinda different but when zoro protects usopp from marines so usopp can call out to luffy for him to stand back up

eeeeeverything that happens in thriller bark. everything, to the point where zoro is actually too hurt to stand up against kizaru next arc (my heart)

when luffy sees bon clay at first in impel down, he gets super excited because he thinks zoro is somehow there! and when bonchan turns back, he says he’s still happy but a little sad it isn’t zoro after all

when zoro hears about ace, he immediately tries to find a boat so he can be by luffy’s side, and when he can’t get one, almost gets ready to swim to sabaody i think

zoro puts aside his pride to ask mihawk to teach him swordsmanship and mihawk acknowledges that such a man as zoro would only be willing to do this because of someone else

zoro and sanji reunite with luffy on sabaody!

on the way to fishman island, luffy and zoro chat about what they did during their two years apart and zoro’s like “oh you would not BELIEVE who i trained with” or something

robin imagines zoro carrying luffy on his back for crossing the river (and zoro’s the one who pulls luffy up out of the water when they fall in)

zoro chastises luffy for not taking the new world seriously at punk hazard and luffy says got it, even though he immediately goofs off later lol

in dressrosa, zoro cheers luffy on at the colosseum which he got distracted watching on tv, and later he gets mad that luffy didn’t tell him about it too

zoro smiles and laughs when sabo asks everyone to take care of his troublesome little brother because sabo reminds him of ace

at zou, luffy teases zoro about worrying about sanji when he left the crew, and zoro gets mad and says he’ll kick him (luffy was right)

also at zou, when zoro gets jealous when luffy praises sanji and calls him as strong as 1,000 men (then i’m worth 2,000!)

ZOLU HUG IN WANO

zoro protects luffy and otama from basil hawkins!

ZOLU HUG IN WANO

did i mention ZOLU HUG IN WANO

truly, even if you don’t ship them, they have one of the best friendships in the series and probably in all of shonen manga

[randomshitwhenimhigh]

Everybodyyyyy (yeaaahhhhh) rock your bodyyyyy yeahhh (yeahhhhhh)

So, Oda of course 2020 is trash but not you, you're just thriving right now.

Super summary cause I really wanna dance with somebody, I wanna feel the heat with somebody, yeah I wanna dance with somebody, with somebody who has weed cause I'm almost out.

Of course Law meant Luffy and Kid when he made the plan, they're the idiots! He's just so so done, he doesn't even bother with them at this point, what an intelligent man. Then, Jinbe is officially a straw hat, I'm beyond happy I'm actually so happy I'll dance this next song in his name: https://youtu.be/k85mRPqvMbE

Luffy is strong, no surprise there those panels made them all look so cool and I just died with the weakling trio, love them and the fact that they're like "it was nice guys, but it could have been better", love them.

I'm so fucking glad killer is back in the game with his mask, and his crew is just so nic they're laughing like him to support him, that's so beautiful. Eustass Kid, captain of the mushy pirates.

Then, wtf Kaido has a son, wanna see that shit, if he's some pre existing character I want it to be Bon Clay because I love him and miss him. Also, more enemies 🎉🎉🎉 and there's like 5, maybe each crew will have separate enemies or they'll team up, like Sanji and Killer or some shit I don't know, I do think there's more to Zoro on this story and I'm pretty sure he's from Wano, almost 100% Ryunma was his great great great grandpa or something, they look alike so much.

So yeah I'm happy, also scared because there are too many wonderful things happening which means tragedy is on the other side, I'm ready to suffer, I can handle it, I read berserk, I'm pain

Great chapter, clean the sole of your shoes before entering your home.

[seraphiixa]

Questions for the mun. @kingofdesert​ asked:  3. Are there any particular aus or plots that you’d really like to write? 13. Who are five of your favorite characters? (In the rp community or otherwise)

3. Are there any particular aus or plots that you’d really like to write? 

     I’ve been toying with the idea of an au where Lyra takes her battleship to defect and become NOT a pirate, but a sort of maritime vigilante. She wouldn’t call herself a pirate and she wouldn’t raise a black flag, but she would be sailing without orders, challenging crews that bring harm to people, and trying to bring islands and towns under her dedicated protection in a way that she can’t do as a Marine (she would effectively be a pirate, because illegally sailing makes you a pirate however you wanna slice it, but she wouldn’t want to use the word because of old prejudices). 

     However... I just can’t see Lyra ever leaving the Navy. The way she sees it, the only way to fix the corruption in the Navy is to stay in long enough to fix it yourself by either advancing in rank high enough to effect change through regulation and law, or by training and producing generations of Marines under her with the same values as her own.

     As for plots... it could be fun to write her encountering the Beasts pirates because as far as I know, don’t they collect Zoans? She’s a Mythical Zoan and I could see that bringing conflict about. I’d also really like to explore her worsening reputation among the Navy with other Marine writers, but we are few and far between. She’s a bit of a black sheep in the Navy in the post-Time Skip because of the limitations of her Fruit, so I wouldn’t mind writing that out a bit with someone who actually does treat her like a black sheep. Also, Lyra was trained by Vice Admiral Tsuru and sailed under her for the first fourteen years of her career, so a Tsuru or a Doflamingo/Donquixote Pirate to plot and develop a writing relationship with would be great, since she would logically have been close to Tsuru under her mentorship and she would have encountered and clashed with the Donquixotes numerous times because that’s who Tsuru chased. Come get you a hateship or a mentorship. : ).

13. Who are five of your favorite characters? (In the rp community or otherwise) 

     I’ll keep this to One Piece. I can’t possibly rank them, so this is in no particular order.

1. Smoker. Listen. Obviously, I am very biased towards Marines. I love that he fiercely loves and protects his redneck Marines (as a friend put it once). He executes the mission but he also knows when to call bullshit on unlawful orders and when to let people go. He was beaten to a bloody pulp by Doflamingo to let the Straw Hats and Law get away. He fought Vergo until he couldn’t move anymore because the guy betrayed the trust of his Marines and he was pissed. He can put aside his personal pride when it comes to the greater good. Smoker has an awesome moral compass but still does his damn job, and I love that. (Also, Vice Admiral Momonga and that female Marine on the Giant Squad get honorable mentions. I love that Momonga is one of the most formidable Marines as far as we know, he’s just a swordsman with no Devil Fruit. And that female Giant Marine gave 0 shits and attacked Oars Jr. head-on; she is fearless and I love her. )

2. Sir Crocodile. I’m a sucker for a mafia boss. Listen. Crocodile is just so cool. I love his attitude, his design, his laugh, the way he talks down to EVERYONE, his awesome sand powers, the fact that his own arrogance was his downfall, not necessarily the power of his opponent, and just... Every time Crocodile’s on the screen, I’m grinning ear to ear, loving everything that comes out of his mouth. I used to write Crocodile and I miss it. He’s a bad bitch and I love him so much. I hope he’s doing well in the New World; I believe in him.

3. Doflamingo. If you can’t tell, I love villains. I love villains with vast underground criminal empires and surrogate mob families and long eerie laughs. I love that Doflamingo is unquestionably evil. His background, his actions, his perspectives --- he has incredibly few redeemable qualities and the series doesn’t try to sugarcoat it. Even when he’s kind to his Family, you know it’s just because he’s using them. After all, he says he won’t forgive anyone who hurts his family, but he also asks them to kill themselves for him. He is straight up terrifying when he is angry, with those veins in his forehead and giant grin on his face. I love that his power of strings could have been so unassuming but he made it so insanely powerful. I stan (1) puppet-master. God save the rightful King of Dressrosa. 

4. Warden Magellan. Listen up. I feel like people forget how unbelievably awesome Warden Magellan is. He was an absolute nightmare for Luffy. The only reason Luffy got out of there alive is because of Ivankov, just by a fluke chance, being there to save him from the poison, and Bon Clay, by fluke chance, giving them the escape from the prison by opening the Gates. Magellan, considering his power, could very well be one of the most powerful people in One Piece that no one remembers. He can literally wash hundreds of people away in a tide of poison and they will die from it so long as they don’t have special poison resistance and you can’t touch him or you’ll get poisoned, too. More important than his incredibly underrated power, when everything in Impel Down was going to Hell and everyone was freaking out because of multiple crises occurring on multiple levels, he maintained his composure and demonstrated INCREDIBLE LEADERSHIP for subordinates by giving concise and clear directions for them to follow and then taking the lead on challenging the most dangerous threat to them. He also imprisoned Shiryu because he was being cruel to prisoners, stating that the prisoners are just there to be held, they’re not to be toyed with. He has a heart, he‘s a good guy just doing his job of keeping the worst of the worst behind bars so everyone else can be safe. I love Magellan so much. I hate that he stepped down from his position as Warden because he literally did the best he could with the circumstances he was given; no one could have done better. I hope he returns to the series.

5. King of Wildfire. I’ve known of King’s existence for all of four days and I already love him. I’ve seen (1) clip of him and I read his Wikipedia. That’s it. I’m not that far in the anime at all, but the clip I saw... just showed me that he’s my kind of person. Something was happening so he went and fucking handled it. And they played heavy metal in the background while he did it. I’m all in on King. ALL IN.

AND OBVIOUSLY SHANKS. WHO DOESN’T LOVE SHANKS. THE MAN’S A LEGEND.

[crapitskizaru]

Side Effects May Include: Devil Fruits Edition

🦖 Could I request some HCs on how devil fruits would affect the user’s sex lives? :o this is so vague but it’s so interesting to consider that I wanted to hear your opinions, haha

Warning: in-depth analysis of all the naturalistic filth that comes along in the topic of a human body and sexual encounters + freakishly long-ass post that includes most of the currently known devil fruits 

Logia Types

Hie Hie no Mi (Kuzan) 

❄️ since he’s such a chilly guy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), he’d certainly use his abilities to cool down the temperature of his body during any sexual encounter - Kuzan doesn’t really like all the heat and sweat that is produced during the steamy see what I did here? hilarious times in between him and his current lover 

❄️ if his partner’s vagina is sore because of reasons varying from physical injuries to hardcore love-making, he’s the perfect guy to come up with a quick solution - a chilly, smooth dildo of his own making to ease out the pain pretty much torpedoes the problem 

Goro Goro no Mi (Enel)

⚡️ this one’s a little tricky; since he can transform himself into pure electricity, he’d have to keep that in mind at all times, especially when reaching his climax - so that he wouldn’t electrocute his lover from too much excitement 

⚡️ if he’s an extreme sucker for kinkplays, he could use the tiniest bit of his powers to either stimulate his partner or punish them for disobedience of any kind, provided they’re into it as well 

⚡️ given that Enel can also use his skills to listen to the electrical sound waves in the air, he’d have an incredibly detailed perception of how his lover reacts to particular sex positions, angles of his thrusts and so on i honestly don’t know what to do with this information 

Gasu Gasu no Mi (Caesar)

☁️ sex in the air?????

Magu Magu no Mi (Sakazuki)

🐶 this shit only serves him an inability to get too caught up in the moment, unless he wants this particular person to get burned alive during sex 

🐶 so besides the obvious flaws, the only advantage I can think of is being able to serve as a human heater to his partner during particularly cold nights if only he would ever actually cuddle someone

Mera Mera no Mi (Acey & Saboo)

🔥 just as with Akainu, these bois will instantly heat up even their coldest partners - a lot of warmth and a lot of sweat-producing usually accompanies them during love-making sessions 

🔥 might include the annoying issue of holes being burned right through their clothing whenever they get too fiery with the act - as well as the possibility of unintentionally starting a fire in the room 

Moku Moku no Mi (Smoker)

🚬 I can easily imagine him using the ability of producing as much smoke as he fancies to blind his lover for maximized kinky submission experience 

🚬 also, using the great speed with which all the smoke allows him to move in order to intensify the frequency of his thrusts - could it get any better?

Numa Numa no Mi (Caribou) 

🛸 used for stabilizing his partner’s legs/waist/arms so that he can devote all of his attention towards pleasuring both of them, without having to worry about occupying his hands to hold them 

🛸 also available for kinky use - all of that bondage gear could be replaced with those muddy serpents of his just perfect 

🛸 provided he’s got a rather powerful dominance/daddy kink, Caribou could also create the bottomless swamps to trap his partner and make them beg for his cock 

Pika Pika no Mi (Borsalino) 

💥 reflecting himself into various positions to gain dominance? Heating his partner up? Providing enough room lighting? Sex at the speed of light? What?

Suna Suna no Mi (Crocodaddy) 

🐊 trapping his lover in piles of quicksand for further teasing seems like a good enough idea to me - also, since he can crumble things to dust in literal seconds, stripping his partner down is never as quick as when it comes to this man 

🐊 the ability to absorb any liquid makes cleaning up his cum from the drenched sheets a rather easy job that’s quite handy actually 

Yami Yami no Mi (Blackbeard) 

👺 the only use of this shit that I can think of is, again, blinding his partner and surrounding them with pure darkness, leaving them all hot and bothered in anticipation for his traitorous cock 

👺 could also serve as a technique of pulling a person towards himself, like he did with Ace, but that’s just too scary to me, idk 

Yuki Yuki no Mi (Monet)

💨 compressing her snow to different bondage gear, as well as cooling her partner down at particularly humid times - although I think it’d be hard for her to control the powers while being in a highly aroused state 

Paramecia Types

Ato Ato no Mi (Jora) 

🎨 courting her crushes with abstract art paintings, thank u very much 

Awa Awa no Mi (Kalifa) 

🛁 unlimited lube supplies

🛁 now that’s what I’m talking about 

🛁 I can assure you, this woman would go all out with those bubbly powers - using it to turn her various kinks into reality 

🛁 used for draining her partner’s energy to gain as much dominance over them as possible; also to clean up from all the bodily fluids that cover them after each round of sex 

🛁 could come in handy to relax her partner and bring them floods of pleasure, often to the point of overstimulation 

Baku Baku no Mi (Wapol) 

🏰 no, I can’t do this 

Bane Bane no Mi (Bell)

🛎 boing-boinging into his lover during sex??????

Bara Bara no Mi (Buggy D. Clown)

🤡 oh, this one’s good 

🤡 this fruit allows him to use more dildos and plugs with his fingers than he could count on one hand - mainly because he’s got two im so funny 

🤡 thrusting inside his partner and giving oral at the exact same time, because why not; the only requirement would be that his lover can’t get too grossed out by all of this dirty shit 

Bari Bari no Mi (Bartolomeo)

💫 being able to make love to his partner against the barriers that he creates/creating surfaces to fuck on in places that no one sane enough would ever consider as suitable ones for having sex 

Bata Bata no Mi (Galette) 

😈 imagine how much fun this woman has in bed - being able to control and restrict anyone’s movements with those buttery thingies, she doesn’t even have to try much to be the dominant one in between the sheets

😈 also, consider this: butter-flavoured lube and unlimited + unbreakable flavoured condoms 

Beri Beri no Mi (Very Good)

🍇 berry/sphere-shaped dildos??? incredible

Beta Beta no Mi (Trebol)

💧 if his partner has a vagina, he could control their discharge, as in the amount and its texture - what for, I have no idea 

💧 he’d also be able to restrict his lover’s movements, as well as come up with new positions, since he can attach himself to any surface 

💧 other use may be as a lube? although that’s pretty disgusting 

Bisu Bisu no Mi (Cracker) 

🍪 do you find yourself daydreaming about sweets when close to climaxing? Are you experiencing unexpected, overwhelming cravings during sex? Constantly hungry? Or simply bored with orgasms? Fear not! This man will supply you with floods of biscuits to munch on so that both of you will be pleasured 

🍪 moving cookie dildos??

Doru Doru no Mi (Mr.3)

🕯 various bondage constructions made with wax? 

Fuku Fuku no Mi (Kin’emon)

👙 imagine how many sets of lingerie this man would create for his partner to wear - a literal dream come true when it comes to this pervert 

Fuwa Fuwa no Mi (Shiki)

🦁 advanced sex positions in the air/rotating his lover according to the man’s whims 

Giro Giro no Mi (Violet) 

🌹 this woman would bring her lover as much pleasure as possible while also making their deepest kinks and desires come true 

🌹 she’s also able to read which positions are the most enjoyable for her partner and what they secretly think of her sex skills kinda scary if you ask me 

Gura Gura no Mi (Whitebeard) 

🌎 what may be possible when it comes to this fruit is creating the tiniest vibrations in order to stimulate different areas of a human body and bringing powerful orgasms, although that’s just too good to be true 

Hana Hana no Mi (Robin-chwan) 

🌷 giving oral and being able to grope her partner, both at the same time, seems like a pretty good use of this devil fruit 

🌷 slight possibility of sprouting as many pair of legs as she fancies and ability to take theoretically unlimited partners at the same time? 

Horu Horu no Mi (Ivankov) 

👅 starting the love-making session while having a dick and ending it with a vagina? Why not? 

👅 imagine how much Ivankov could arouse their partner by increasing their levels of dopamine/serotonin/testosterone/estrogen, according to their desires

Hoya Hoya no Mi (Charlotte Daifuku) 

🏺 gains +1 spectator, if he’s an exhibitionist ;)

Kage Kage no Mi (Gekko Moria) 

🕳 could have multiple partners, exclusively at his service?

Kilo Kilo no Mi (Miss Valentine) 

🎀 would totally be able to pin her lover to the bed, preventing them from flipping on top of her - what an easy way to gain dominance, although she’d have to be extra careful not to crush them well

Kobu Kobu no Mi (Bello Betty<3)

🌌 her partner receives almost overwhelming waves of encouragement, whether in order to praise them or to push them to keep going - this woman certainly doesn’t take sex lightly 

🌌 is able to turn even the most insecure lovers into confident sex-animals in the matter of seconds 

Kuri Kuri no Mi (Charlotte Opera) 

🍦 moisture! Lube! Food kink! Quick snack! Fluffy surface! Whatever you want!

Mane Mane no Mi (Bon Clay) 

🦄 ever wished it was your crush instead of ą random hook-up? Problem solved indefinitely~

Mato Mato no Mi (Vander Decken)

🐍 he could try aiming dildos at his partner from afar? Why did I even think of this?

Memo Memo no Mi (Charlotte Pudding) 

🎞 rewatching her and her partner’s favorite sex moments whenever she wants, almost like a portable(?), realistic porn movie

🎞 being able to erase all of the sexual encounters during which she either didn’t enjoy herself enough or performed badly and doesn’t want her lover to remember it terrifying 

Mero Mero no Mi (Hancock) 

🎇 keeps perverts at distance 

Mochi Mochi no Mi (Charlotte Katakuri) 

🍩 food kink

🍩 is able to restrain his lover’s movements so that they have to plead for his cock - good method whenever Mochi’s in a dominant mood~ 

🍩 food kink

🍩 it also allows him to create as much mochi as he desires in order to either lick it off of his partner’s body or make them lick him clean 

Nagi Nagi no Mi (Rosie)

🍰 his lover can be as loud as they want - screams, pleads, moans and groans of pleasure - nothing will be audible outside of his sphere, which comes in handy when he just wants to have a quickie and Doffy’s in the room next to them 

Netsu Netsu no Mi (Charlotte Oven) 

🌡 hot dick 

Nikyu Nikyu no Mi (Bartholomew Kuma)

🐾 useful when you never want to see your partner again 

Ope Ope no Mi (Trafalgar the Fucking Law) 

⛄️ now that’s the kinkiest shit 

⛄️ just visualize all of the fucked up poses and positions he could slice his partner into, and then multiply it by Law’s level of sadism - great 

⛄️ this man’s totally able to make his partner watch from afar as he plays and fucks their body the way he likes 

⛄️ could he slice his dick off and use it as a dildo though?

Ori Ori no Mi (Hina)

⛓ brings hardcore bondage to a completely new level (:

Pero Pero no Mi (Charlotte Perospero) 

🍭 what else if not creating lickable, candy dildos - and just like Mochi, he loves to lick his own candy from his lover’s body 

🍭 also various candy creations to restrain his lover with

Wara Wara no Mi (Basil Hawkins) 

🃏 cute little voodoo dolls to cuddle!

Ito Ito no Mi (Donquixote Doflamingo)

🍨 imagine how incredibly kinky this man can get with his powers 

🍨 holding his partner in the air with those strings? Leaving small cuts all over their body, if they agree to that, edging and marking?

🍨 also using it as bondage gear and maximalyzing his Daddy authority/dom position, since his partner can’t even wriggle so that they won’t get cut 

Bastard Bastard no Mi (Eustass Kid)

🔥 manipulating the restricting bondage gear/handcuffs/jewelry of his partner’s according to his whims and wishes 

🔥 also knife play mastered to perfection?

Zoan Types

🦖 every furry’s heaven, thank u