#i love both series and there's nothing wrong with that

[starlostseungmin]

husband!minho

✰ notes: third entry of my husband!skz series and as for who won the poll, it’s minho’s turn!! minor warning: sex is mentioned but nothing happened!! i hope you guys enjoy!! not proofread. DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS! thank you <33

chan （ lee know ） changbin | hyunjin | han | felix | seungmin | jeongin

ꔛ

Husband Minho who asked, “Will you be the mother of my three kids?” instead of “Will you marry me?” on one random afternoon when you were both playing with his cats at his parents’ house. It served as his proposal and gave you a jingle ball because he didn’t have a ring with him at that time. 

Husband Minho who used to be a tsundere and nonchalant person but later changed into a fully affectionate bunny the moment he fell for you. 

Husband Minho who got emotional during the wedding day but tried to hold his tears back since it was expected that his friends would tease him later. He gave up eventually and cried when you slow danced with him at the reception. 

Husband Minho who teased you a lot but in a loving way. He tends to be a menace sometimes but it wasn’t bad. Your big baby just loves to play with you. 

Husband Minho who pretends to be annoyed when you ask for a kiss but deep inside he wants to smother you with all the love you deserve. Eventually, he couldn’t keep it to himself so he cuddles you with lots and lots of kisses. 

Husband Minho who spoils you with his five Michelin-star cooking skills and serves you high-quality food. He is the happiest when you compliment him and finish everything on your plate. 

Husband Minho who loves to drag you along when he goes camping and offers to take care of everything while you rest. He’d only ask for minor tasks from you to help him. 

Husband Minho who sends you weird selfies and cat pictures when you’re not together and says he misses you with the kids (his cats). 

Husband Minho who listens to your worries and gives constructive criticisms but at the same time he comforts you with the things you need to feel better. 

Husband Minho who loves to encourage you to do the things you want as long as it would benefit him and it’s not illegal. “The heart knows what it wants,” He said. “But let’s not go to jail shall we?”

Husband Minho who lets you burst out in anger while he stood there listening to everything. He’s not the type to baby you every time and will be civil when it comes to arguments knowing who is in the right and wrong. 

Husband Minho who will never allow you to sleep unless everything is resolved. He’d be sorry if it was his fault and be the cutest baby bunny that you can’t resist to forgive. This comes along with cuddles and kisses or makeup sex (if you’re both into it). 

Husband Minho whose love languages are acts of service, quality time, and words of affirmation. 

Husband Minho whom you swoon to over and over because of how handsome and cute he is. Never a day you’d miss complimenting him by which he’ll be all red and mushy from being shy. 

Husband Minho who got the interest of touching your butt out of his love and affection. 

Husband Minho who lays on top of you when he sees you lying down on your shared bed the moment he gets home because he’s tired and your presence makes him feel relaxed and secure.  He tends to bury his face in the crook of your neck. 

Husband Minho who is loud and dramatic in the most precious way. 

Husband Minho who never forgets important dates and will throw everything away just to spend time with you. 

Husband Minho who acts like a mother especially when you get sick and is stubborn. 

Husband Minho who is good with kids, and had asked you a few times if you want to have one with him but at the same time he doesn’t want to put pressure on your shoulders. He reassures that he can wait and doesn’t even mind if he spends his lifetime with you alone. 

Husband Minho who feels appreciated and loved when you tell him about the things he means to you and how much you are head over heels for him. 

Husband Minho who gets excited when you give him cat necessities. You wonder that he loves his cats more than you sometimes but he’d say you were equally receiving his love and affection. 

Husband Minho who doesn’t always say he loves you but rather says that you are his getaway from everything. It’s you and him against the world, nothing could replace you as you are his happy place and favorite person. The one who comes second after his cats and knows his priorities but you get the privilege. 

Husband Minho who loves you to the moon and back. 

Husband Minho who treasures you the most and the one he’d put first before everything. 

Husband Minho whom you’ll love for a lifetime, promised to never hurt, never leave, and never break his heart. 

✰ taglist: @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly , @sleepyleeji , @starseungs , @midsoulz , @oddracha , @armystay89

©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

[flower-boi16]

Who would you say is the most poorly written character in Hazbin Hotel, and why?

Well looking at my top 5 best and worst characters in both Hazbin AND Helluva I’d say…Charlie. I’ve already made a full post about why Charlie isn’t a particularly great protagonist so I won’t go and repeat myself here.

But my biggest issue with Charlie is that…she never grows. She doesn’t really learn anything, and she stays the same from episode 1 to episode 8. She doesn’t have much of an arc…at all.

And, just to add on something I eventually realized after watching a video about Charlie that made pretty interesting points; Charlie does display many character flaws throughout the show, being naive, emotionally immature, and not really understanding how people work.

These are interesting character flaws for Charlie but something I realized while watching the video was that, although Charlie has character flaws…she never grows from them. At all. Her flaws are shown but they are never confronted or called out. She never grows into becoming more understanding of others or realizing that her views on redemption are heavily flawed…nothing.

And it gets worse when the show HEAVILY idealizes Charlie’s views on redemption, always her as purely right and anyone who opposes her is automatically in the wrong (something I talked about in my post about Charlie).

And THATS what I think is the fatal flaw with Charlie as a character; she’s always portrayed as in the right, that her views of redemption that everyone can be redeemed is purely correct in spite of it being just as heavily flawed and simplistic as Adam’s “no one can be redeemed” mentality. Not only does it fly in the face of the show’s themes of being against black and white moralities, it also prevents Charlie from growing as a character because the show is so busy portraying her as completely right that it can’t have her go through a real arc.

Like imagine if Charlie went through an actual arc of realizing that her views of redemption are kinda too idealistic and she grows and matures to being more understanding of other's emotions throughout the show. That would’ve been so interesting! But we didn’t get that, now did we?

The sad part is that pilot Charlie was better than Charlie in the series, purely for the fact that the pilot ACKNOWLEDGED that Charlie’s views on redemption and her understanding of other’s emotions is a bit flawed, and it looked like they were going to confront these flaws in the show…but they didn’t.

I WANTED to love Charlie, I really did, she’s apart of my personal favourite character archetype after all (optimistic bubbly female protagonist) and I’ll admit, she’s slightly endearing at times, but she’s so lacking as a character, ESPECIALLY for the main protagonist.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Nameless, Faceless: Final Part

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.8k

Summary: Not even four hours after the case in Canada, you're thrown into another one. This time, without Hotch. You have a sinking feeling he's not just blowing you off to get some sleep. There's something wrong.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: welcome to the first episode of season 5! i hope you enjoy this series just as much as i loved writing it! <3

I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated.

x

They're all concerned about Spencer but even more concerned about Hotch and whether he's going to survive or not. They rush him to the same hospital that Hotch is in to keep them both in the same area. You've been by Hotch's side the whole time and he hasn't woken up yet. You rub your hands together nervously and look to the left of you to see your team fast-walk down the hallway.

"Hey, he's still not conscious."

"Are you sure it was Foyet?" Rossi asks.

"I felt his energy at Hotch's place. I saw what happened. Hotch lost a lot of blood but he's been stable since I arrived. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to be distracted. Plus, he was checked in with Derek's credentials that he stole the last time we saw him."

"Did they catch him on the security camera?"

"I saw him drop Hotch off but the camera is only at the entrance. I got a feel of the direction he went in but I lost him right outside the parking lot. I don't know where he is."

"It doesn't make sense for him to have brought Hotch to the ER. We know Foyet gets off on power and control. Maybe what he wants is for Hotch to know his life was in his hands."

"He could do that without risking the hospital," Derek says.

"What happened to Spencer? I heard a gunshot go off over the phone. Is he okay?"

"He was shot in the knee," JJ explains. "He's here getting treatment."

You want nothing more than to go to him but if he's still in surgery or getting care, you don't want to interrupt that. Hotch groans as he comes out of his mini coma-like state.

"Agents, he's waking up," the doctor says. "Remember, he's weak. Don't push him."

"Where am I?" Hotch whispers.

"In the hospital."

"How did I get here?"

"Foyet drove you. Can you remember what happened?" you ask gently.

Hotch stays silent for a moment. 

"What did he take?" Everyone looks at each other in confusion. "The Reaper always takes something from his victims. Do we know what he took?"

"There was a page missing from your day planner in the address section," you say. "The Bs."

"What did he leave?" he winces in pain.

"I don't know. I looked over your whole apartment. Nothing felt out of place."

"Where are my clothes?"

You grab the bag with his bloody clothes and other belongings and set them on his legs. You pull out the bloody shirt and open the bag for him to go through. He pulls out what looks like a wallet but is Derek's credentials. Folded inside is a picture of Hayley and Jack.

He's going after Hayley and Jack.

"Haley's maiden name is Brooks. I always listed her in the Bs in my personal information in case it fell into the wrong hands. He knows where they live," Hotch sighs.

"Don't worry, Hotch. We'll take care of it."

Everyone but Emily decides to leave the hospital in search of Hayley. You would have stayed behind but you're better in the field than by Hotch's side. Spencer is still getting treated so you have no business staying behind. JJ tries calling Hayley three times but she isn't answering.

"She's not answering."

Derek takes out his phone and calls Penelope.

"Garcia, I need FBI SWAT deployed to Hotch's old address."

"Oh, God, do you think he's going after Hayley and Jack?"

"I don't know. Just send a SWAT team. Tell them to wait for instructions. We're on our way."

"Consider them there."

"We need to be prepared for what we might find. Foyet kept Hotch alive. He wouldn't do that without a reason."

There's no time to speculate because Foyet could already be there murdering Hayley and Jack. When the team arrives at her house, SWAT is already there waiting. As soon as Derek gives the green light, SWAT members pile into the house with your team mixed in with them. Hayley is in the house, you can feel her. Foyet's energy is nowhere to be found which means you got to her before he could.

You walk upstairs with Derek and two other SWAT members. Hayley is in her room wearing yoga clothes, headphones are in her ears, and she is doing laundry. She turns to put clothes away and screams loudly from seeing a bunch of people in her house.

"Oh, my God!" she gasps.

"It's okay. It's okay," you calm her down.

"What are you all doing here?"

"We got her," Derek says to Emily who is on the phone with him.

"What's going on?"

"Is there anyone else in the house?" you ask.

"No, there's no one here."

"Where's Jack?"

"He's at a friend's house for a play date."

"We need to get him back here."

"Where's Aaron?"

"He's in the hospital."

"What?" she gasps.

"Hayley, call for Jack. Tell them I'm on the way to pick him up. I promise you we'll explain. Call for him right now. Text me the address," Derek says and leaves the room.

"Tell me what happened to Aaron," she says as she does what she's told.

"He was stabbed nine times presumably last night or early this morning. We know who did it and we're doing everything we can to try and find him. We think he's going after you and Jack next. I know this is a shock right now, but you need to pack a bag. You can't stay here right now. You two will be placed in the Witness Protection Program."

"Wait, are you serious right now?"

"Yes."

"Is this really necessary?"

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"I don't know," Rossi answers.

Hayley knows she needs to listen to your team right now so she starts to pack a very large bag knowing she isn't going to come back here for a while. Derek and Jack come back ten minutes later, and he has the biggest smile on his face.

"Mommy! They let me turn on the siren!"

"Wow, that's so great, baby! Did you have fun?" Hayley smiles through the pain.

"I'll help start a bag in Jack's room," JJ says and leaves.

"Okay. How many times did you run it? How many times?" Jack holds up three fingers and she chuckles. "Three?"

As soon as Hayley and Jack are packed up and ready to go, you take her to the hospital so she can talk to Hotch. Rossi already made some calls to other agents about placing them into protective custody, so those agents meet you at the hospital. Jack is waiting with one of the agents so Hayley can speak to her ex-husband alone.

It sucks knowing their situation (minus the whole Foyet thing) because they didn't divorce because they stopped loving each other. They divorced because loving each other hurt them too much.

While you let them talk, you go find Spencer who is on the other side of the hospital. You grab some jello for him on your way and you keep it hidden behind your back to surprise him. He is trying to find something on the TV to watch when you knock on his door.

"Hey," he smiles brightly and turns off the TV.

"I can't leave you alone, can I?"

"How's Hotch?"

"Physically? He's going to be okay. Emotionally? Not so much. We have to place Hayley and Jack in protective custody, so they're talking right now before they leave." You walk over to his bed and sit on the edge of it. You reach up and move some of his hair out of his eyes. "You need a haircut." Spencer laughs and grabs your hand while it's still on his cheek. He moves your palm to his mouth and he kisses the center of your hand. You rub his cheekbone with your thumb while looking into his eyes with so much love. "I bought you something."

You take the jello out from behind your back and his eyes light up.

"Thanks!" He eats a few bites happily. "Good news is that all I need are some crutches for a while."

"Don't worry, I'm going to take good care of you."

"I know," he smiles.

If he's going to go through all this trouble to incriminate you, the least he can do is stick around to watch your downfall. The block in which he left his last victim is sectioned off with yellow police tape even though there is a large crowd forming around the perimeter. Several officers are located on the outside to keep the public from barging in, and he squeezes himself through the crowd to get to the front.

If this is going to work, he needs to know what the police know so he knows how to proceed from here.

"Excuse me, officer? What's going on here?" he asks.

He's masked his real voice with a fake southern accent he's been working on for weeks.

"There's been a murder. Everything is fine, sir."

"Officer, I walk down this street every day and night. Am I safe? I live right down the block."

"Where?"

"Right there."

The man points to the apartment building on the corner of the street.

"Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"No, sir."

The officer lifts the tape up so the man can step through so he's not stuck in the crowd. The officer doesn't take him to where the dead body is, but he wants some privacy from the onlookers.

"What's your name?"

The man doesn't hesitate to answer.

"Frank Livingston."

"What's a good phone number to reach you at?"

"619-555-0122."

"Where were you last night between the hours of ten and five in the morning?"

"Out here, unfortunately. I have a hard time sleeping ever since I had a stroke a few years ago. I decided to go for a walk to try and clear my head."

"Did you happen to see anything?"

"Well, let's see. I walked outside and had a cigarette." The man chuckles and pats his breast pocket where his pack of cigarettes is. "The dang things will kill ya but I can't seem to put it down." He chuckles. "Anyway, I was walkin' and I didn't know what time it was because I forgot my phone. I saw this car parked on the side of the road, and there was someone lyin' on the ground like they'd been hit. Seeing y'all here makes me think they might not have been hit after all."

"Anything else?" the officer asks and writes down everything he says.

"I saw someone leanin' against the car, but I didn't know what they were doing. The light isn't great out here. My eyes have gone bad since the stroke. It nearly took out my sight altogether. I'm not sure what they were doin' but I know I saw hair."

"Hair?"

"Long hair like a female's. I got out of there so fast like I was fearing for my life. You know females these days got everything goin' on. They carry all kinds of protective weapons on them. I didn't want to end up like that fella."

"Anything else you noticed?"

"Not that I can recall. Like I said, I got out of there quickly."

"Okay. If you can remember anything, please give me a call."

The officer hands over his business card with his contact information, and Frank takes it from him.

"Yes, sir, I will."

Frank walks away from the crime scene with the fake persona still on him. When he gets far enough away, he drops the innocent act with a smirk. He crumbles the officer's card and tosses it into a nearby trash can.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[famouscyclenerd]

ANTI THIS, ANTI THAT

I think it's funny how antis love to talk about how much eluciens dislike Elain and gwynriels dislike Azriel. And then go on about how they are so pro both of them. Even though ya'll want Elain to suffer an unaccepted mating bond she'll feel for the rest of her life and rot in the Night Court when it's been mentioned several times (by both her sisters) that she would love the Spring Court. You don't want Elain and Azriel to be with their mates even though that's the ultimate happily-ever after in Sarah's books.

Let me break it down for ya'll:🕺

Some elucien's doesn't like Azriel (not Elain)

They don't like the way he thinks of her and overall believes them to be a very bad match. Some have described his actions towards Mor and Elain as "incel behaviour" for the way he thinks and speaks for them, but none of them have said the same thing applies to the way he thinks and speaks to Gwyn and others. People saying: "I just want bby Lulu to be happy" can apply to him being happy single, with his mate, with Vassa, with anyone. That's a Lucien stan, not necessary an elucien. Ya'll don't want your faves to be happy?

Some gwynriel's doesn't like Elain (not Azriel)

Mostly because she has been very passive through-out the series and don't think she's a good match for Azriel. I've seen some calling her boring, but many are open to having their minds changed. Some doesn't care about Elain, which is fine, you don't have to. We have yet to see her fully shine and she's one of the few characters that we haven't gotten a pov from.

A LOT of e/riel's doesn't like Lucien nor Gwyn

Just because they don't like him and they think Azriel is hotter. I have yet to see a (good) reason why Elain and Lucien aren't a good match. People have called Lucien and Gwyn ugly (the gollum pic for instance - even though Lucien's described as handsome and Gwyn as beautiful - another day of antis ignoring canon), making fun of them for being gingers, making fun of Gwyn for working in the library and her, as well as Luciens, SA. Mocking Lucien for having to be carried because he can't fly. Calling Gwyn forgettable even though you talk about her every single day. Speaking for Gwyn (something antis preach about how we speak for Elain and how wrong it is. Even though they speak for her when they say she still wants Azriel yet she returned the necklace - a downright rejection) about how she should not want to have sex and especially not with the freak in the sheets Azriel. How convenient.. yet, canon begs to differ.

The great thing about shipping gwynriel and elucien is that you aren't anti anyone. You can call characters out for their behaviour, but you still want them to be happy and you still like them!

P.s! If it's racist to call out Azriel's entitlement over Elain then it's racist and ableist to speak badly of Lucien too. Also, I see you! You make fun of his disability all the time and it's not cute. Hope ya'll don't do that in real life. :D

P.s.s: You can't preach about feminism while making fun of other (fictional) women simply because they threaten your ship. This also applies to indirectly calling Nesta ugly by talking about how they had to dull Elain's beauty (by putting her in a black dress lol) when that's something you came up with. Nothing in the book supports your claim. Do you even listen to Elain? When she spoke about how Nesta, at the age of fourteen, was able to seduce a duke. And that was without Elain wearing black.

[creative-hanyou-girl]

2000's Trio 2020's Trio

Imagine how great it would be if the PJO show is successful and gets the Harry Potter treatment where we get to see these kids grow up throughout the show!

If the Golden Trio was our big 2000's trio, I hope the Original Trio will be our big 2020's trio💙💙💙

[sojourner-between-worlds]

[gold-wolf-soldier13]

I’m a lil drunk and about to kick a hornets nest but idc i gotta speak my truth-

I don’t like that Lucien is Helion’s son and personally I’ll never see him as a poc character. The boy is white.

SJM made him mixed for cheap drama and representation points and it’s honestly like her second biggest sin my opinion (after ruining the soulmate trope) because as a mixed kid myself that was raised by my white family I just know the way she’s gonna handle it will ofc be just as disrespectful as the Illyrians and the rampant sexual abuse she so casually throws around.

Lucien being mixed and being so horrifically abused by his white-as-snow stepfather/step brothers is a perpetuation of the actual abuse that can and often does happen to mixed race kids, especially black kids, by their adoptive families. I got soo lucky that my mother later married a man that treated me no different than his other kids and gets along with my dad- there are thousands of stories that don’t end nearly as happily as mine.

And ik it’s been said before but it does also perpetuate the idea that black or poc people, even unintentionally, are worse, lazy, or even deadbeat parents because supposedly Helion was so in love with the Lady of Autumn and never once assumed that Lucien could be his when SJM goes out of her way to retcon how much they look alike now. He’s just perfectly content to watch her and her children suffer under Beron no matter how sad it makes him.

I have so many feeling about this and some of them are really contradictory and I can’t find the right words for them rn so I think I’m just gonna leave it at this.

It was unnecessary and cruel of SJM to make Lucien mixed.

[red-dyed-sarumane]

goign back to retag old magu posts to not use a nickname they dont like and get hit with "curious why they left the motif out of ashura & laboratory i wonder if it's to imply something"

[siena-sevenwits]

Disclaimer: These thoughts are more emotionally than logically expressed, and reflect my own experience and preference.

[iguessitsjustme]

I’m half expecting next week’s episode to have Nan finding Chompu and actually her legs are fully healed and she’s ready to be with him now because that seems to be how these writer’s are interpreting disability now.

[cosmobrain00]

you mentioned you like trigun and i have a question? i’m not into trigun but i see a lot of fan art shipping vash with wolfwood, but i’ve also heard people call it a proship (which is gross obviously) is it true? i heard something about wolfwood being mentally younger than he is physically but idk since i haven’t read/seen it sorry if this is a stupid ask it has nothing to do with you i just don’t know any trigun fans

hello anon! first off love tht u came to me w this I feel like an official in the fandom now, but I digress.

anyways, here's a quick lesson of wht I kno for u, as well as how the answer varies due to the diff adaptations:

(keep in mind there has never been an official age stated for any of these, u just gotta use clues. also I dont use the term "proship" arnd here, but I get ur overall point)

for trigun max n the '98 anime, n based off of wht ive found/ heard, its gonna be safe to guess he's arnd his early to late twenties here, not rlly a chance of him being a teen at all, so there's a pointless argument right there.

here's where it gets interesting: trigun stampede.

im assuming this is where the most "discourse" comes from (n also where ur question originates from) considering the newest anime takes a huge left turn w his backstory n ovrall character, which is tht wolfwood was taken from the orphanage itself as a kid n experimented on until his physical body shed its "younger skin" so to speak, n was pushed into growing into an adult's instead.

so. yeah. easy to see how his age is the most disputed here. I have sifted thru many diff posts n speculations, n have basically come to this conclusion: no one has any fucking idea. it ranges from "he could still be 12 in an adult's body" to "he could actually be arnd 20 now", but again. p hard to decipher tht when u kinda have to get into the mental vs physical state of him also, bc how exactly do u factor in having ur body forcibly aged up while the rest of ur mind was forced to be "left behind" in a sense? did tht also speed up his mental age due to evrything he had to witness? hm.

so unfortunately my answer isnt gonna be completely satisfying bc truthfully imo, it could go either way. a few posts tht ive seen arnd have stated tht u can simply age him up if its more comfortable like the original series instead of sifting thru the nitty gritty details. u feel me?

[strrwbrrryjam]

"the buddy song" and "bigger than that" are absolutely bops and are so underappreciated.

[gothamstreetcat]

Putting under the cut what ended up being such a long sad/angry rant about Wesley and how he was treated on the show. I just want to say how I feel. A lot of this is personal and I apologize.

I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few days about how it really boils my blood that I feel there was so much pressure for Wesley to be in love with Fred. If he was not "in love" (I really don't even want to say that) with her he had to be a creep and if not that he had to be obsessed (based off of how the show was really portraying him at points). It’s almost as if he had no value unless he was in love with her or his entire being didn’t revolve around her. Like, if he wasn’t the bumbling fool for everyone to make fun off he just had to be so obsessed to the points it made him look bad. Almost as though the writers took his little "crush" from one fucking episode and decided to run a train without the tracks.

It's such a shame because this idea of Wesley being infatuated with Fred came across as though it had to be his whole personality as though Wesley himself couldn't be loved for anything else (like being smart or funny). And the entirety surrounding Fred was also used as a foil for his relationship with Lilah, which in my opinion is so stupid, because this crush with Fred was -again- so fleeting and ended so badly, yet at the same time it consumes Wesley's being.

And I know I’ve said this in the past, but Wesley during Billy was not him; and I really believe it has everything to do with his father and how he was raised and someone he was scared to become. Wesley does not come off to me as the kind of person to feel that was towards women or have monstrous/evil thoughts. Even for "dark" Wesley that's really pushing it. He's just the kind of guy "that makes the tough decisions even if he's making them alone." Not only that but Wesley constantly has moments where you know he's been abused, and for me, I see that as he's not going to be an abuser because he's already the abused, even as an adult. Even when his not-dad showed up he fell back into his old self and was suddenly never good enough. So, going back Billy it just seems hard for me to imagine Wesley ever trying again after the traumatic events that ensued for him - that also had him struggling with himself as a person. Having him be so infatuated with Fred after this - to me - is just so disrespectful to his character, especially if only to hurt him in the end and further isolate him. Wesley is not a perfect person, I know that but some of the shit he went though on the show just seemed over the top.

I don't actually know or personally understand why people even want Wesley and Fred to be together but let me say how I've been feeling that Fred is just a more loved version of Wesley - another thing that really makes me upset/uncomfortable. They were both smart but somehow Fred was smarter (during that episode when those demons came and wanted her brain instead of Wesley's) yet, at the same time everyone needed Wesley's help when he wasn't part of the team anymore. Which, of course there are different ways to smart and should be recognized but at the same time Fred was just seen as so cute and quirky for everything she did while other times Wesley was not appreciated. Anytime Fred became upset or triggered over what happened to her she was comforted and emphasized with. When she was rescued from Pylea she was given space and everyone worked with her and tried to help her. Anytime Wesley talked about his dad he was looked at as strange or talked to in such a casual manor (because the characters were so bluntly blind to his abuse (i.e when he killed his not-dad in season five). Even when he was clearly feeling a certain way after the events in “Lineage” Angel and Spike treated it as if it was no big deal and I get the assumption that when Wesley killed his not-dad it was more about protecting Fred rather then freeing himself (which is what it should have fucking been about. This man literally stood in front of him and said “don’t make me shoot you,” and I wonder how many threats were made on Wesley’s life for him to not be stunned by that.)

I will however say that when Wesley got shot he was well loved and cared for. This was, of course pre-Fred and pre-Conner but was looked after during this time (by this two best friends I might add who ended up fucking losing completely to the mess that is season 3).

Another thing I've gathered from the grapevine is that it appears losing Fred was somehow a breaking point for Wesley (but also everyone else too) and I would really like to fucking understand why. Fred is beloved, I get that but at the same time they also lost Cordelia who was very loved and had some so far as a person - and as for Wesley that man has been through some fucking shit, but why is losing Winifred some make or break for him?? Wesley literally lost his entire family because of what happened, he had his throat cut and was literally fucking dying as some homeless man dragged him into the bushes before stealing his money. He was so cut off from everyone and pretty much had the metaphorical door slammed in his face - unless of course he was needed - and I know I talk about the park scene a lot, and I know fans get mad over what Wesley did they're entitled to feel that way, of course, but at the same time - no one is going to be more mad at Wesley then the self-loathing man himself. He knows he screewed up.

On top of that, Angel, everyone's literal champion, went to the hospital and tried to fucking kill him. And a lot of people point out how Wesley never apologized for what he did, but when Angel apologized for what he did it was literally only because he needed something. And everyone was so wrapped around Angel's dick and what he wanted so nothing could be mended, mind you, this was also the man that signed them off to work for the literal Devil without their consent. Now, I get he was doing it for his son and that's admirable- he's just a tired dad trying to do his very best - but you literally didn't have to drag everyone else with you (especially since the only reason Wesley was there in the first place was to give Lilah peace he believed she deserved for her suffering. Show me a greater act of true love and I'll shut the fuck up.)

Wesley lost his best friend to the higher powers (his friendship with Gunn was so long gone at this point) and the love of his life (because the only time Wesley wasn't so wrapped up in Fred was when he was grieving Lilah) but somehow Fred had to be the be all end all. Even in his death he couldn't escape it and it still had to be about Fred and being lied to and being with her. I see a lot of fans talk about how he was in love with the idea of Fred and being a hero and getting the girl and finally being loved but in reality all those things Wesley thinks heroes get in the end are a fantasy. He's not going to be loved, Angel is not going to get over Conner and his dad is never going to love and respect him as a human being. In fact, I feel like the only thing Wesley had to resemble being a hero was the fact that he died in the end. I mean, of course he was a good person and did his best and he did help people and save them - but at the same time he went through so much shit just to die in the very end and he couldn't even have that to himself.

The Writers liked to put on this face of Wesley being happy when he sees Fred doing her little speech, and it could have easily been about missing his friends and missing people he was close to but we know that's not the case. Not only that, but Wesley went through something so traumatic and you can't always some back from that. He was literally so changed from what happened to him and he was never the same (he literally reminds me of Bruce Wayne in so many ways with the trauma and the turtlenecks and the stone facial expressions; they literally are the same person only Bruce hates guns). Even when he came back into the group or went to work for W&H and everything was erased. Yet somehow Fred just has to be what keeps him connected to something more human... and I really can't understand why when The Writers (I mean, obviously to hurt Wesley because they don't value him) would even want Wesley to be with someone who is so nasty to him.

Fred was understanding when her and Gunn were ransacking Wesley's apartment (which they didn't even clean up by the way) yet, to his face she told him never to come back and also didn't even look at him when she talked about the prophecy being false and everything being a waste of time. Telling Wesley how wrong he was but literally everyone makes mistakes (Angel literally said Conner had been smelling like food and fucking told no one until he had a meltdown). Wesley during that time was just mentally going through it and he didn't think he could tell anyone and did everything he thought he could do - and then for Fred to be upset with him for fucking being with Lilah when he was literally so alone and she was the only one to give him a crumb of human decency. She really only bothered him about the job once and every time they talked you could tell how much they really bounced off one another.

Fred was also the only one who was so mean to him after Lilah's death when he was being vulnerable and trying to open up to her. Now again, this is partly The Writers who think it's okay to compare Wesley's consensual relationship with Lilah to Not-Cordelia sleeping with Conner (which was basically Conner being raped by his unborn woman child using his mother's body), which is disgusting, but also for Fred to fucking roll her eyes and try to gaslight Wesley and his emotions when he's being vulnerable. Again, something I bitch about a lot but it's only because I know what it's like to be that person being vulnerable to their friends, only to have said friends literally roll their eyes and dismiss my feelings - it's disgusting. Wesley had literally just lost Lilah and had no one to talk to about it but he tried *twice* with two people who used to be his closest friends. But I guess that is just more of a way to affirm how Lilah is for Wesley (despite the fact that she is literally perfect for him but I don't know if I want to get into that now).

I feel like Angel never got over Conner (it being mentioned in season five) and that is what it is - I get it, but at the same time I'm also so bothered by the fact that Wesley is always going to have this big terrible thing hung over him. Gunn also made a huge mistake but that was what is was, a mistake and okay because "Gunn is a good person" (and I'm okay with that, I'm in no way trying to shit on Gunn but I am aware there was controversy surround this back when the show was on). However, I have an issue with Wesley having to be so punished for his mistake when others are empathized with. And I know what happened with Holtz was about Angelus and that Angel has a soul and he is good - but this is also the vampire with a soul who tried to fucking suffocate Wesley to death. It doesn't feel fair to entirely blame Angel for Angelus's actions against Holtz's family's, However, that's still a huge part of his past, and not everyone is going to have empathy and compassion for you just because you have a soul. I'm not trying to say that as a way to excuse Wesley's mistake but I feel that so much is always put on Wesley and him alone.

I'm sorry this post is so long and messy. I was going to spend a little bit of time talking about his relationship with Lilah, however, I want this to be more about Wesley as an individual - so I'll shut up here and save that conversation for the tags.

This was four pages long in google docs, why can't I write my fanfiction like that?

[2dou]

i love apollo justice he's the guy ever I'm so glad his character wasn't given say two back stories that make no fucking sense and his character was definitely not ruined for the sake of cheap comedy

[leatherbookmark]

my feelings about haruki murakami are hmmm. not exactly positive but not totally negative either, but man, i feel it’s his fault that i take quite a pleasure in adding those rather physical, kindasorta gross details to my writing

[sarinatendouji]

one of my favorite frames in the entire anime, and also one of my favorite panels in the whole manga