#i love coding but i hate working in software

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Not That Kind of Guy

Part Fourteen: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series

Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, sexual content/fantasizing, pervy behavior, panty/scent kink, mask kink(Ghostface), gaslighting/manipulation, public/semi-public, spitting, cumplay, nude vids/pics, masturbation, oral, PIV, dick piercing, forced orgasm, bondage/blindfolds, biting/slapping/spanking/cutting, rape kink, NONCON/DUBCON/CNC, Somno, blood, knife, gun play, GEN. SMUT [all possible tags, not necessarily all apply]

Info: Ghost is whiny, He’s feeling petty, he told you so!![diary entries from Ani] extremely not proofread. Stalker!Anakin Character art (as Ghost) MDNI 18+

Diary Entry: September 2nd

I lied. I said I wasn’t mad at you, but I am.

It’s not like I tell you no to anything, so why wouldn’t you just ask me first? Are you just desperate for a moment away from me and too nice to tell me that? Running from your problems won’t help especially when your problem is me.

I did what I should’ve done a long time ago. A new software has been installed on your phone, very similar to the screen cloning software linked to my laptop. Only this one is active all the time, a constant feed of live audio that I’ve taken the liberty of flagging a few words within the code.

Anakin, hate, love, Ghost, annoying, angry… so on and so forth.

The software flagged several sections of audio within the timeframe of your drive to the cabin. I must say, I’m surprised about the things the two of you talk about, I’m never going to be able to look Han in the eye ever again.

I also lied to you about something else. I don’t work tonight, or tomorrow. I switched up my schedule with April for you, cause I have a little something planned for you. A little thing I’ve had tucked away, actually never intended on getting it out and doing anything with it really. It was a gift from Cliegg after there was a murder on the college campus last year.

Don’t worry, it wasn’t me that time.

Anyway, I think it might be fun. For me at least.

“Okay but I don’t get it.” Luke said, propping up his feet on the dash while you drove.

“What about it don’t you get?” You snorted, slowing to a stop at a traffic light. “I think it’s pretty self explanatory Luke.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t come equipped with a cooter and I’ve never, nor wanted, the opportunity to see one.” He crossed his arms and tilted his head back and rolled his shoulders. “I just don’t see the benefit.”

“First of all, it’s pretty.” Holding a finger up and adding a second, “second, it feels heavenly.”

“I am a gay man.” Luke scoffed, “Dicks aren’t very pretty. A little jewelry can’t fix that.”

“How does it even work? Does he have to take it out to piss? That’s inconvenient.”

“No!” You laughed, covering your mouth as you turned the dial to quiet the radio. “No, he doesn’t have to take it out. To answer your other question, it’s the metal balls on either end of the jewelry. That’s the point of the piercing you know? It rubs up-“

“Okay that’s enough, thoughts have been thunk.” He covered his ears and did a dramatic shiver of disgust.

“You asked!”

“I didn’t know you’d be so descriptive!”

“You described in great detail all about the massive ingrown hair on-“

“Oh my god! I told you never to mention that again!” Luke reached across the console and whacked you up the back of the head.

“I’m driving!” You squealed, your hand shooting out to the side and shoving his shoulder. “No, don’t you dare touch that radio! For fucks sake if that’s-“

“It’s ABBA.”

“Go to hell.”

—��——————————————————————

After two hours you reached the small lakeside cabin that was to be your home for the weekend. A cute little place with a loft and two small bedrooms. The kitchen was… lackluster; a fridge and a stove with a whopping number of three cabinets. The living room however did have a pool table, which in Luke’s eyes made up for the fact that your sister beat him to claiming the loft room, because she’d driven separately and arrived before you.

You chose the room to the left of the living room and Luke chose the one on the right. The view from your window was beautiful deep forest green, leaves and moss and huge tree trunks. While Luke’s was the deep blueish green lake water, the occasional white wake following a boat zipping past.

After tossing your bag onto the floor in the general direction of the nightstand you jumped onto the squishy and super cheap springy mattress on the tacky ‘rustic’ log bed. Pulling up Anakin’s contact you tapped the call button and listen to it ring on speakerphone.

“Hey pretty baby.” Anakin’s rich timbre flooded the line.

“Hi Ani.” You smiled despite him not being able to see you. “Just got into the cabin and picked my room.”

“Oh you got to pick?” He said curiously, “you got the loft didn’t you?” You could hear his grin.

“No, my sister did.” You scoffed, “I thought Luke would have a cow over it but he decided the pool table here would offset his disappointment.”

“Pool table hmm?” Anakin tsk’d.

“Hot tub too.” You grinned.

“A fuckin’-“ he groaned and let out a loud huff, “a hot tub?”

“Yes sir.”

“Hmph.” He snorted, “someone finally taught you some manners huh?”

“W-what?” You asked nervously, bringing the phone closer to you and hopping off the bed to shut the door. “Manners?”

“You just called me Sir didn’t you?” He laughed. “Been taking some etiquette classes?”

“Oh shut up.” You breathed out a sigh, a breath you’d almost choked on. Your guilty conscience was really beginning to steam roll your daily life, even on your mini-vacay you can’t escape your wrongdoings. Ghost was still haunting you all the way out here.

“Just teasing doll.” He snickered, “Anyway, what’s on your agenda?”

“Nothing for tonight, probably gonna sit on the dock and have some drinks, do a little bonfire, hot tub maybe.” You told him, beginning to relax again.

“Drinks? Be careful baby. It’s not exactly safe to drink and get into a hot tub.” He chided, “I’m serious.”

“I know.” You sighed, rolling your eyes.

“Good girl.” He said, pleased enough with your response. “So what room did you say?”

“Oh! I didn’t actually oops. I got the one looking out into the woods, it’s real pretty, I’ll send you a picture after we hang up.” You said, shifting your weight to sit more comfortably.

“Aw thanks babydoll.” You could hear his little smile through his words. “Well, I should probably let you get back to it huh?” He sighed.

“If you wanna talk more-“

“I always wanna talk more but I don’t want to keep you from your fun.” He said a bit quieter. “Uh, just don’t forget to call and leave me a message before bed okay baby? I’d love to hear your pretty voice when I get off work tonight.”

“Okay Ani,” nodding even though he couldn’t see you. “I’ll talk to you soon then… I miss you.”

“I love you too.” He made a kissy noise and hung up quickly, leaving you with a frustrated, pinched brow that you reached up to sooth with the heel of your palm.

After snapping a quick picture of your view through the bedroom window, you rejoined your trio in the living room where Luke was teaching your sister to play pool. You stood and watched for a moment, seeing them bicker like they were just reminded you of how much you loved summer trips with them.

Growing up with a sister close in age to you was fun, except for when it wasn’t. She went to school before you did, made friends before you did. Of course you were only two grades behind, but there is a big difference between kindergarten and 2nd grade. She had always been happy to play with you until then.

So when she was meant to be paying attention to you, or at least making sure you were alive, while you were both outside… she was busy on the swing set in your backyard. Which is how you found yourself with scraped knees and (surely, most definitely) a broken ankle from your scooter.

A new family had moved in across the street from you not too long before the summer started, you hadn’t met them, didn’t even know they had kids, until you were being pecked on the shoulder by another child’s finger. After that, Luke was found wherever you were; glued at the hip was an understatement, your families were convinced you were soulmates, that you’d grow up to be married.

Jokes on them.

His sister Leia was outgoing and confident in ways that Luke lacked, so during that first summer she gravitated toward your sister. The twins became a binder, something that held the four of you together. Bridging the gap perfectly between kindergarten and 2nd grade as 1st graders.

It stayed that way, for the rest of your school years and after.

Your parents got along swimmingly, the four of you floated between the two houses. Nights often ending up with a pair of kids asleep in the floor, where one of those children did not belong. A quick phone call to the house across the street to make sure your sibling was there, then all was well and your parents would scoop Luke and you up and tuck you in.

You were seven the first summer your parents had the grand idea to spend a week on the lake. It was a tearful goodbye, kids who spent every possible waking moment with each other are not easily pried apart.

Your parents drove the full two hours to a cute lake house they’d found online and within the first 30 minutes of being there your father had enough of the sniffles and whines. By dinner time Luke, Leia and their parents were sitting around fire pit with you.

Thus your annual tradition was born and kept even after the horrid aftermath of Luke’s unexpected outing. Sans parents of course. Your father supported your mother even if his views didn’t fully align with hers. He was a ‘be gay, just don’t be gay in front of me’ type of person, while your mother was more of the ‘send him to conversion camp, he’s tainting my children’ type of gal.

That didn’t really jive with the whole ‘love and positivity’ approach that the twins parents had about the situation. Which leaves you where you are now, reminiscing on those happy childhood memories before everything got complicated, before you discovered the world outside of your safety net, before the consistent visits from your uninvited house guest.

A loud clap broke you out of the fog and suddenly you were hyper aware of your sister’s nose right in front of your face.

“Lauren!” You gasped, your eyes wide before softening into a grin.

“You’ve been staring into oblivion for a solid minute,” she giggled, “I thought about sticking my finger in your mouth but I was afraid you’d bite it off.”

“My mouth?” You asked confusedly.

“Yeah you’ve been catching flies, looking like a mouth breather.”

“Eew! Don’t call me that!” You scoffed, standing up and following her over to the pool table to discuss your evening plans.

——————————————————————————

Anakin watched your little blue dot travel back and forth from the cabin to the dock, he listened the chatter between the three of you as he drove the two hours out to the pine forest your weekend getaway was taking place. The mile long gravel driveway was perfect to stash his car off to the side of, no one would be coming in or out of the drive all weekend.

He walked through the woods, backpack slung over his shoulder, his hood up and mask on. It was 9:57 and the three of you were still on the dock. He could hear you talking about getting into the hot tub through the Bluetooth earbud he had in, that new software was really paying off.

He hadn’t planned to do this next bit, but he couldn’t help himself. He purposefully got his left shoe dirty, twisting his foot side to side in order even dirt for a proper footprint. Then he left his mark on the first step up to the front porch.

*ping*

‘Having fun?’

You laughed, picking up your phone and leaning back in your chair as you crossed one leg over the other and switched the sound off. You’d only had it on for when Anakin texted, and now he was. Or you thought he was until you realized the text came from your own number.

‘No. Don’t engage. He’s not going to know where you are, how could he possibly know?’ You thought to yourself. ‘I planned this in person, I told Anakin at his place not mine. All Ghost knows is that you’ve left for the weekend.’

You swiped the message away and let out a huff, deciding to take the opportunity to walk back up to the house and call your boyfriend.

“Guys I’m going up to the cabin, gonna call Ani.” You said, standing up and taking your hard lemonade with you. “Need anything?”

“Nope, we’re about ready to head back anyway.” Lauren answered, waving you off. “We’ll be up soon.”

With that you walked away, taking the worn dirt path back up to the house and dialed Anakin’s number, waiting for the voicemail to pick up your call.

‘Hey Ani.’ You smiled, crossing one arm across your chest to rest your other elbow on while you talked. ‘I’m probably not going to bed just yet, but I am going back up to the house. I just wanted to fill you in a little bit I guess.’

Once your shoes hit the gravel you absentmindedly kicked a larger rock off to the side, swinging out your leg and shifting your position to walk backwards, looking down at your sister and Luke on the dock.

‘We’ve been just hanging out all evening, made some sandwiches and had drinks by the water.’ You pivoted again as you neared the porch and looked down to ensure your footing before taking the first step up. ‘We’re going hiking tomorrow morn-‘

You scrunched up your face and took another look before backing away from the steps completely, your eyes scanned the porch and saw the cabin door was still shut.

‘Sorry, thought I saw something…’ you muttered into the phone, spinning slowly in a full circle to take a better look at the tree line. ‘I- okay, anyway. Going hiking tomorrow… probably swim too. There’s a canoe moored down there so maybe we’ll try that out.’

Off to the left of you behind your sisters car you swore you heard gravel crunching underfoot, but when you looked toward the dock, Luke and Lauren where still sitting there. You marched over to the opposite side and saw nothing, going so far as to look under her car and yours.

‘Okay well…’ You were certain now that someone was outside and you were not alone, your phone buzzed against you ear and you pulled it away to swipe away the message, not even registering the sender before holding your phone back up to your ear.

‘Uh alright well I’ll talk to you in the morning,’ you quickly walked back over to the porch steps and side eyed the footprint as if you’d expected it to disappear by now. ‘Goodni-‘

A strange feeling passed over you, the hairs on the back of your neck stood up and a chill ran down your spine like a drip of cold water. You were almost afraid to turn around.

‘I gotta go, Miss you bunches… goodnight.’ In your panicked state you didn’t have the same thought process you normally would, you’d simply ended the call and whipped your head around, expecting to find someone, something, that might’ve caused that hair-raising fear. There was nothing.

Breathing a sigh of relief you laughed at yourself. It had probably just been a rabbit, maybe you’d startled it and it kicked up some gravel. The footprint… it could have been there when you arrived, it could’ve been made by one of your group, including you.

You checked the message you’d swiped away and your blood ran colder than ice. Your rational explanations were bulldozed in seconds.

A picture of you, standing in the drive way, taken from behind your sisters car.

The breath was stolen from your lungs. Your sight was locked into tunnel vision, all you could see was the front door as you ran to it and pushed it open. Colliding with something solid and warm as you stepped inside.

Something living and breathing that gripped your hair and cradled you to its chest, something that kicked the front door shut and pressed a cold, blunt object to the temple of your head.

Something that made you want to scream.

Diary Entry: September 2nd continued

I have time to kill and nothing to do while I wait for you. So I figured I’d write alittle bit.

I’m currently sitting under a tree, watching you and your cute little ponytail swishing around while you giggle. You’re so beautiful. Everything you do is beautiful. I’ve never seen something as exquisite as you.

Maybe that’s part of the reason I want to ruin you so bad. Leading you, my innocent doe, down the path of corruption could quite possibly be my life’s work. How would you like that sweetheart?

You wanna be my magnum opus?

Though of course we do have the one small identity issue to take care of. I need to get my shit together and figure out what the fuck I’m going to do. It’s not like I can tippity tap it into Google: ‘how to tell my girlfriend I’ve been stalking her for almost a year’.

No thank you. I don’t trust WikiHow with the fate of my love life.

Let’s be for real. I don’t even trust myself with the fate of my love life because I’ve already managed to fuck shit up. I’m continuing to fuck shit up. What I’m about to do? It’ll fuck the fuck out of the shit.

What can I say other than love makes people do crazy things?

“Ghost.” Your voice was wobbly and unsure. “Is that a-“

“Gun? Absolutely.” He grunted, pressing the barrel into your skull.

“What are you doing? They’re gonna be back soon, you can’t be here!”

“I came to chat.” He said simply, leaning his head down to put the cheek of his mask against your warm skin. “I missed you.”

“Did you miss me? Is that why you left your boyfriend back home? Wanted to let me have you all to myself for a weekend?”

“No!” You snapped at him, twisting your head away from his.

“Heard you on the phone.” He cooed, “still can’t say the L word? Why’s that?”

“If Luke sees you… my sister- they’ll call the cops, you know that.” You pushed against his chest and felt it rumble with a low laugh beneath your palms.

“Stop deflecting, answer my question.”

“I told you I wasn’t going to talk about Anakin with you!” The whisper left your lips tainted in unease.

“I’m aware. That’s why we aren’t talking about it. You’re going to tell me.” He barked, holding you close to his chest and walking backwards toward your chosen bedroom.

“N-no, I won’t. That’s not fair.”

“It’s not fair?” He scoffed. “I don’t care if you think it’s unfair.”

“How did you find me?!” You wriggled from his arms the moment he closed the bedroom door.

“I know everything about you baby.” His voice low and much too confident for you to believe anything otherwise. He looked relaxed in the way that he reached behind himself and locked the door, leaning back on it and crossing his arms, one long leather finger running parallel to the barrel of the pistol.

“I just wanted one weekend!” You shouted taking off your sneaker and throwing it at him, he gave you no reaction and it only pissed you off more. “Just one!”

“One weekend away from you! I know you can see everything on my phone, you see and hear everything I do, why do you think I wasn’t the one planning this trip? I didn’t want you showing up here!” Yelling at him in a way you never had before as you stalked toward him with your other shoe pointed at him. “I don’t want to talk about Anakin with you! I don’t want to tell you how I feel!”

“Do you want to know how I feel?” He asked calmly.

“I don’t give a shit!” You chucked the shoe at him and he batted it away easily.

“I think you do.” The gun raised up to his mask as if he were scratching his forehead with the barrel. “I think you care a lot and that’s why you won’t tell me.”

You didn’t answer, because he was right. You did care and you did care a lot. You’d been avoiding telling Anakin you loved him to spare Ghost the hurt of having to hear you say it to someone else.

“No.” You stuttered, hesitating and hating the taste of the word on your tongue.

“Don’t lie to me.” He barked, holding out the pistol and motioning for you to move. “Kneel. Now.”

“Gods, seriously? Put your arms down, you idiot.” He scoffed as he watched you lift your hands and put them behind your head like you were being arrested as you knelt down slowly.

“Well I’m sorry. I’ve never been held at gunpoint before.” You snapped, scowling up at him.

“I’m so lucky to have to honor of being your first then.” He grumbled, tucking it into the back of the waistband of his jeans while pulling the pink silk from his pocket and tossing it at you.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” His voice gruff as the toe of his shoe tapped your knee. “Put it on.”

Ghost shook his head, undoing his belt buckle, the tail end of the leather now forever imprinted with your teeth marks. You did as you were told and heard his pants unzip along with a soft grunt.

“How many fingers am I holding up?” He asked, holding his flat palm out to the side to make sure you couldn’t see, rearing back to slap you.

“How should I kn-“ *smack* “ow?! What the fuck?”

“Just making sure.” He snickered, taking off his gloves and putting them in his hoodie pocket.

“Asshole.” You mumbled.

“What was that?” He asked with a playful tone. “You want me to fuck your asshole? Is that what you said?”

“Shut up. You know that’s not what I said.” You muttered, unable to keep your lip from curving upward just a fraction of a centimeter.

“Ah well, the offer still stands.” He chuckled, tapping the side of your jaw with the cold metal barrel of his pistol.

“You’re making me nervous waving it around like that.” You huffed, jerking away from it.

“Good.” He snorted, “open your mouth.”

You did exactly that, thinking you’d feel the warm weighty head of his cock hit the tip of your tongue. Hoping for a taste of the salty precum that wept from his cockhead. You weren’t expecting something small, cold, metallic and pellet shaped.

“Don’t swallow; this is the only time you’ll ever hear me say that so you better listen.” You could hear his smarmy grin. “Roll it around, you feel that?”

“Mhm.” You nodded, feeling the smooth metal and the grooves carved into it, opening your mouth again and he plucked it off the tip of your tongue.

“Your initials, or well… what your initials should be.” He mumbled the last bit.

You hear a series of mechanical and metallic noises, followed by the unmistakable sound of a firearm cocking back.

“You did not just-“

“I did.” He snickered, holding the gun sideways and pointing it directly in the center of your forehead. The blunt edge digging into your flesh and pressing down against your skull.

“Spread your fingers.”

“Why?” You asked as you splayed your hand.

“Do you have to question everything?” You felt thick metal circle your middle and ring finger, dropping to the base of each digit, barely making any contact with your skin on its descent. It really put in perspective just how much bigger than you he was.

Even more so when you felt his warm, calloused fingertips weave their way between yours and squeeze gently. The tender gesture did nothing to quench the fear sitting heavy on your chest. A loaded gun, a loaded and ready to fire gun was about an inch from your brain.

“C’mon, you don’t want to talk? Not even like this?” Condescension dripping from his lips. “Loaded gun to your head and you still won’t talk about your feelings.” He tsk’d.

“It’s not your business.”

“See that’s where you’re wrong. We’ve already had this discussion haven’t we?” He crouched down in front of you, air rushing past from the quick motion. “It is my business. You were mine first.”

The curved edge of the barrel traveled down your forehead, across your cheek and rested heavily on your bottom lip.

“Give it a kiss for good luck little doe.” Ghost spoke low and steady, almost monotone. Considering your situation you did as you were told once again.

“Good girl.” He stood back up and pushed the waistband of his boxers down by hooking his thumb beneath the elastic. “Now get to work, bitch.”

His tone had changed again, now a sharp and hard edge that smacked you like a cold wind. Emotional whiplash was to be expected in every encounter you had with Ghost, but none so far was as bruising as this.

He’d never brought a gun to a knife fight before.

You hesitated for a moment longer than he was willing to wait, so he dropped your hand, the small bit of comfort he’d allowed you to have. Grabbing the back of your head and forcing his swollen cockhead past your lips, cool metal returning to the center of your forehead.

You gagged and spluttered around his length, the hot and leaky cockhead bruising the back of your throat. Ghost seemed to love the sound, loved feeling you cough and try to gasp for air, his hand tightened in your hair as he let out a loud and gravely moan.

“You suck cock so much better with your life on the line.” He laughed, pulling you away from him and releasing your hair. He watched you cough and wipe drool off your chin and neck with the back of your hand.

“Ready to talk?” He asked, his breathing heavy and uneven.

“Fuck you.” Spitting the words out with venom.

“Sorry sweetheart that’s not on the agenda tonight.” You felt the rush of air before his palm made contact with your cheek, your hand immediately lifting to cradle it and feel the heat radiating from the irritated flesh.

“C’mon doe, I don’t have to be mean about this.” He barked, “Just use your big girl words.”

“L-Luke’s gonna be back up here any minute.” You stuttered, lifting your head in the general vicinity of where his would be.

“You realize you’re only making this more difficult for yourself right?” He asked, not giving you the opportunity to answer when he fisted your hair and forced your lips to meet the tip of the barrel of his pistol.

*shk* *click* **click** nothing.

Before you had time to process the fact that he had just pulled the trigger of a loaded gun in your mouth, you were being choked and not given any hope for breathing. His forefinger and thumb tightly clamped over your nose and his cock lodged in your throat as he fucked your face. Instinctively you tried to draw in a breath, accidentally breathing in saliva, making you cough so hard that Ghost had no choice but to back off.

“Ghost...” You dry heaved on your hands and knees. “I’m n-not gonna tell you.”

“What’s it gonna take huh?” He asked angrily, you could hear the sound of clothes rustling just before he lifted you up and shoved you over toward the bed. “What’s it gonna take for you to admit that you love me?”

“I don’t!” You yelled, taking off the blindfold and tossing it aside.

“I didn’t say you could take that off.” He snapped at you while pulling his gloves on, snatching the ring off your middle finger and shoving it down in his pocket. He whipped his head around toward the door suddenly.

“Shit.” He shoved the gun in the back of his waist band and grabbed his bag without explanation.

“What?” You asked sitting up on the bed.

“Gotta go.” He grumbled.

He grabbed the blindfold and slipped it back over your head, grabbing your jaw and tilting your head back, his lips met yours in a soft embrace. His tongue piercing gliding across the slit between your lips before pushing past them slowly, the taste of cigarettes and gum flooded your senses. He hadn’t tasted like this last time he kissed you.

He took one of your wrists in a gentle grip and brought it to his cheek. Ghost kept a loose grip on your wrist but he allowed you to feel the smooth skin beneath his eyes, your fingertips collecting the smallest amount of moisture in the outer corner of his eye.

He was crying.

He broke the kiss, your lips begging to stay connected to his. As much as you hated to admit it to yourself that kiss felt like home. The fact that he was shedding tears was unsettling, the car crash that was this relationship had officially gone beyond whiplash and into ‘trapped inside, in need of the jaws of life’ territory.

He took the same hand and pressed it to the center of his chest and left it there to put both his gloved hands on either side of your face, pressing his lips to your forehead. Their warmth left your skin and you immediately wanted it back.

He took the blindfold back off and smoothed out your hair quickly, putting the silk in his pocket and putting up his hood. The mask back where it belonged, those black pits where his eyes should be held an emotion that was pouring from every inch of his being. You felt like he was staring through you and straight into your soul. He stood beside the window with his bag slung over his shoulder. Who knew such strong emotion could be felt… seen, without ever laying eyes on the person emitting those feelings.

“Lock your window back.” He nodded toward you and promptly climbed out just as you heard the front door opening, he was gone before you even had a chance to get a second look as he ran off.

You did as he asked and locked the window before checking your appearance in the mirror, a mess was reflected back at you. You looked as if you’d been lost at sea. Tangled hair and ashen skin covered in streaked makeup. The churning in your stomach only rocked the proverbial boat more.

After a deep breath you brushed your hair and pulled the makeup wipes from your bag to clean up with.

“Hey!” You heard a sharp knock on the bedroom door and answered it while still wiping away at your face.

“What’s up?” You asked your sister as she pushed past you.

“Just checking on you before I went to bed, Lukey and I were out there for longer than we meant to be.” She shrugged on her way to jump on the bed, “Ow! Fuck.” She winced and picked up her bare foot, rubbing the sole with her thumb as she picked up the offending item.

“Who’s ring?” She asked, holding it up for you to see.

“Oh it’s just Anakin’s!” You lied, laughing anxiously and plucked it from her fingers, encasing it in your own hand. “Probably just fell out of my bag.”

“He has such a weird taste in jewelry. What even is that?” She pointed to your closed fist, and watched as you peeled back your fingers and exposed your palm.

It wasn’t a lie, it was Anakin’s.

“A centipede.” You swallowed, staring at the hunk of metal. “It- he always wears this one. I don’t… I’m not sure how it ended up in my bag.”

Your throat felt dry, your palms started to sweat. You felt like you might be sick. Why did he have Anakin’s ring? He hardly ever takes it off.

Diary Entry: September 3rd

I should have never taken those fucking rings off. I had to lie to you. It’s stupid I know but lying about something little like that is almost worse than the big secret you know? Cause I don’t want you to think I’m untrustworthy, I am. I’m very trustworthy.

You just let me shoot what you thought was a loaded gun in your mouth. I’d say that means you trust me quite a bit. Ghost, not me I mean. You trust Ghost with your life, but you can’t trust Anakin enough to tell him you love him?

Date

September 3rd (1:45 am)

Anakin jogged to the end of the driveway and hopped into the front seat of his car, taking off his mask and gloves. With the steering wheel in both hands he leaned forward to rest his forehead on the back of his hands. Keeping his grip at the top of the wheel with one hand he leaned back again, looking up at the roof of his car, his other hand going to pinch the bridge of his nose as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when his phone started ringing, he quieted himself and quickly strategized a set of half truths and full lies that he might need to use before answering the phone.

“Hey princess.” He sounded cheery as he picked up the phone, “lucky you, I was just going out to smoke.”

“Oh?” You asked, feeling relieved to hear that he sounded fine. Maybe ghost didn’t chop off his finger after all. “Sorry, I- I have a weird question.”

“I love weird questions.” He snorted, you could hear him flip open his zippo lighter and snap it shut after a long inhale.

“Are you missing any rings?” You asked, hoping he said no and that this was just a very odd coincidence.

You heard rustling on the other end of the line while Anakin frantically searched his pockets, coming up one ring short.

“Yeah I am actually, why?” He answered clearing his throat nervously.

“Which one?”

“My many legged lad.” He answered, instinctively flicking his cigarette ash with anxiety, the miniature embers floating down to his jeans. He quickly swiped them away and tried to remain focused. “I took it off to shower at your place last night.”

“I figured the cat knocked it off the sink or something.” He shrugged to himself, hoping it was enough of a lie to convince you that maybe Ghost snatched it off the sink.

“S-somehow it ended up in um, my bag I guess.” You said, turning the jewelry over in your palm, placing it on the nightstand beside the bed.

“Huh, well that’s fucking weird.” He chuckled, “I don’t know, babe. Just keep it safe for me til you get back I guess sweetheart.”

“I will, I’ve got it on the nightstand right now.” You answered, licking your bottom lip.

“Thanks babydoll, listen, I gotta go back inside.” He grumbled, sucking air through his teeth the way he always did on his last drag of his cigarette. “I love you doll. Sleep good.”

“Night Ani, text me when you’re home.”

“You got it baby." Anakin answered, his voice low and smooth.

A perfectly normal conversation. A perfectly normal explanation on his part. A completely plausible assumption that Ghost simply took it from Anakin. Though you’d never known him to be brazen enough to come around with Anakin there and awake.

A perfectly dreadful whisper floated in one ear and out the other.

—————-

Date

September 3rd (2:27 am)

Anakin walked circles around his car, desperate to find an escape, an excuse, an explanation. Something, anything to help him backtrack. He couldn’t go back to your cabin tonight. He’d made you lock the windows and he knew Luke would quadruple check that the front door was locked. He didn’t know your sister or Luke’s sleep habits so he didn’t feel comfortable picking the lock.

He would have to tough it out until tomorrow night.

You were very much in the same boat as him. Waiting anxiously to see if he would come back, to see what would happen.

You wanted to call Anakin again, just to hear his voice, to listen to the calming comfort of it. To affirm that all was well, he was safe and fine. That was the only reason. You just wanted to make sure he was safe. Anakin was perfectly capable of handling himself, but to your knowledge he didn’t own any weapons that he could defend himself with. As far as you knew, Anakin Skywalker was sweet and kind and soft. He was loving and gentle. He was the perfect man, the most wonderful thing to walk into your life.

Anakin loves you and you love him. You love him so much, so much that it hurts. You love him so much that you’ve refused to say it. To protect him, to protect yourself, to protect Ghost from the hurt of it.

That’s just it though, there is Ghost. He’s there at every corner, he’s the creak in the floor boards at night, he’s the figure you see in the corner of your eye, he’s the creepy feeling of being watched, the voice you swear you hear saying your name.

He cares for you, and he cares deeply. You know without having to hear it from him that he believes you’ve hung the sun and the moon, he knows all the stars in the galaxy twinkle just for you and he believes you should be treated as such.

For all his wrong doings he’s done something right, not the helpful little things nor the occasional softness he’s begun to show.

No it’s something else.

It’s a feeling so oddly tangible that you can feel it in your throat each time you swallow. There isn’t a name for it, no term that you’ve ever heard could properly define it. You know that much to be true.

It’s a pull, a strong and undeniable tether. Like a child and their security blanket. Visible or not, where there is one there is always the other.

You’d miss him if he were gone, much like you’d miss the comfort of a fresh from the dryer blanket. The fuzzy warmth that wraps you up so tightly, the feeling of being tucked away from the world in safety.

That heat fades quickly, just like he does. He’s present one moment and the next he’s left you alone and you have to start the cycle all over again. You stare at your reflection and watch the world tumble around you and he watches you from behind the glass until he’s ready to come out again.

You want to fold him up and lay him across the end of your bed. Within reach at all times, you don’t want the dryer door between you anymore. You don’t want the few moments of heat from the fabric.

You want consistency.

Anakin can give you consistency in a way that no one else ever has. You never have to worry about him leaving or being disloyal, you never have to voice your feelings or opinions if you don’t want to because he just knows. You never have to worry about anything. Except for Ghost.

With Ghost you know that you are without a doubt the safest person alive. You don’t have to think, you can just be and know he is there to do anything and everything for you. You never have to worry about anything. Except for Anakin.

————-

Date

September 3rd

Hiking had never been your favorite summertime activity, but you’d come to realize it wasn’t because of all the walking or the bugs, it wasn’t even because of the horrid, atrocious memory of the time you’d walked through poison ivy.

You didn’t like it because it gave you too much time to think. That was exactly the opposite of what you needed right now. Right now you needed nothing, you needed the cold emptiness that comes along with burying yourself in something that took up all your brain power until there was none left to dwell on your troubles.

By the time you’d reached your destination you were drenched with sweat in the most uncomfortable way imaginable. Your shirt stuck to you, the cups of your bra were damp and itchy, your shorts had ridden up and you weren’t entirely sure that you were wearing shoes instead of walking barefoot in a bog.

“Luke.” You grumbled, taking a long drink from your water bottle. “How long have we been out here?”

“About two hours.” He replied casually, not nearly as winded as you and your sister. “Let’s eat and we’ll head back.”

“Are we lucky enough to be on one of those trails that the start is long but the loop around is short?” Your sister asked, wiping her forehead with the inside of the collar of her shirt.

“You’re both wimps,” he scoffed and rolled his eyes, passing out sandwiches and chips. “No, the way back is the way we came.”

“You’re joking.” You complained with a scrunched up expression.

“No ma’am.” Luke responded and thumbed over his shoulder at the overlook you’d made the journey to see. Yes it was beautiful, but worth the blister forming on the back of your ankle? Definitely not.

“Unless you’d like to take a dip off the cliff edge.” He snickered, knowing damn well that you’d rather gnaw off your fingers than jump from this height. “It’d be a couple minutes swim to shore and you’d be at the cabin.”

“No way really?” You said, standing up and biting into your sandwich as you walked cautiously closer to the edge. Gazing down you saw the dock, your eyes traveling up the tiny- hardly visible- dirt path until you reached the cabin.

He was right, you tracked your hiking trail up the curve of the incline you’d suffered through, it was a massive arc. Leaving you staring at the comfort of the cabin, so close but impossibly far away. You looked for a moment more, the lake sparkling like glitter in the bright sunshine. A few boats disrupting the water as they sped past, far off the shore.

You snapped a few pictures and scrolled through them, nearly choking on your food as you spotted something you’d missed with your naked eye. Only seeing it now that you were scrutinizing the photos quality to decide which one you’d keep.

“Jesus, you alright?” Lauren asked, watching you thump the side of your fist against your chest. Breathing heavily through your nose while chewing the food to swallow it and chase it down with a gulp of water.

“M’fine.” You coughed, looking back down at your phone and then to the landscape below to see if he was still there.

You should’ve expected to find him, expected the way he made himself at home on the porch, rocking in a rocking chair. The scene was still jarring, even more so when you realized he wasn’t wearing his hoodie.

His bare arms on display, his chest and abdomen covering by a loose black tank top. You frantically tried to zoom in with your camera. But of course all you could see was a fuzzy blur of inked skin.

What luck.

He was there, in broad daylight without a staple piece of his ensemble, one he didn’t remove in front of you. Now you understood why he told you he’d be recognizable if you were to see his skin. He was covered in tattoos.

And it’s your unfortunate luck that despite being so close to him, it’d take an hour to get there. Your great luck that he’d left himself vulnerable to your gaze at a distance that would prove impossible to decipher his identity. He was doing this purposely, there was no doubt about it. Why else would he do something so risky?

Ghost was baiting you.

Like the stupid little fish you were, you nibbled on the hook until he was able to reel you in.

‘I see you’ You texted him,

‘Creep.’ He texted back, standing up from his rocking chair and walking to the front porch steps. He waved dramatically, the sun shining down on him and catching on the white plastic of his mask, making him plainly visible. You watched through the zoomed in and grainy image of your phone as he moved, hoping maybe it would clear up and you could see something identifying.

Suddenly you were reminded of something you’d learned in school, a book you’d read… maybe Nancy Drew? Signaling using a mirror or something reflective to catch a person’s attention, sometimes used as a means of communication in Morse code. Though this wasn’t nearly as sophisticated.

He had pulled out both his knives and flipped them, the sunlight refracting off the shiny silver blades erratically until it became one concentrated beam as he crossed the sharp edges over each other. Forming an X to direct to light straight at your face, promptly blinding you.

“Fuck.” You winced, stumbling backwards and causing your sister to gasp.

“Christ, what the hell are you doing?” She asked worriedly, standing up and walking toward you but not daring to move as close to the cliffs edge as you were.

“A- a bug or something.” You lied, rubbing your eyes to clear up the imprinted flash of light you saw each time you let your eyelids fall shut.

*ping*

‘See me now?’

‘Asshole.’ You mumbled under breath, looking back over the cliffs edge to see that he’d managed to get out of sight in the time it took for you to recover.

“Alright, let’s go back. I’m hot and sweaty.” Luke said, standing up and stretching. He packed away our trash and then shoved Lauren forward when she complained.

“I’ll push you off the edge if you don’t shut up and leave me be.” He snorted, dodging her water bottle that she swung by the handle at him.

“C’mon let’s go before you kill each other.” You said with a laugh, feeling better now that Ghost was -probably- gone for now.

After another hour of hiking back down the steep incline you’d just traveled up, you were grateful to collapse on the cold wood floor of the living room and bask in the cool air supplied by the window unit nearby.

——————————————————————————

Diary Entry: September 3rd

I’m so jittery waiting around for you guys to get the hell out of that stupid cabin. I have shit to do and you’re gumming up the works. I need to get your bathing suits, I scouted out around the lake last night when I couldn’t sleep. Not in my Ghost mask, I used a bandana. I think it’d be real unfortunate to get the cops called because Ghostface is roaming the pine woods.

Anyway, your bathing suits. I’m taking the ones I disapprove of. Did you know there’s a cabin full of jockey college boys right across the lake from you? You better not have planned that. They have a perfect view of the dock you’ll be swimming off of. Which means they were probably watching you last night when you were having your drinks.

I’m the only one who can watch you like that. Especially when you’re gonna be prancing around with that fucking ass of yours on display. ‘Ani, I’m just gonna wear it to tan in!’ Yeah alright. That’s the only reason doll? That’s the reason you brought a thong bikini to the lake? With a cabin full of testosterone waiting to catch a whiff of you from across the way?

I can’t believe you’re so stupid sometimes. I love you but damn do you have no self awareness? I’d let you wear it when I’m around. But I’m not. Not the way I want to be at least. I want to be there fucking you with my eyes and smacking your cute ass every chance I get. If I’m not standing there watching over you then those idiots might get the idea you’re wearing that shit for them and not me.

They don’t know you’re tanning, making that bangin’ fucking body sun kissed for my viewing pleasure when you return. They just see ass and tits and drool. I might drool yeah… but it’s only for you. I love you. I have eyes only for you and I always will.

Those dick-wads don’t know you or care about you. They lust over every bitch they see. You don’t want to make it easier for them do you? No? That’s what I thought. I know you didn’t do it purposely little doe. You can’t help it. You’re used to me being by your side and keeping you safe, used to wearing whatever you want when I’m around because you know I’ll fuck shit up if someone looks at you wrong. You’ve gotten used to it and didn’t use your little girl brain to make adjustments for the fact that Anakin wouldn’t be there for you.

Just another reason you should’ve brought me along.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Oh my fucking god it’s so fucking hot outside. What the hell is wrong with Luke? Making you walk up that MOUNTAIN. I totally would’ve followed but I’m actually busy trying not to fucking drown in my own sweat. There’s a bunch of reasons Ghost is mostly nocturnal. This is one of them.

I was being baked alive.

Anywho, I showered and now I smell like you, so I’m gonna wander about, have a wee little snack. By the way, I’m really sad you forgot the mustard.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Baby, don’t be mad I didn’t mean to almost make you trip. I just thought it would be a little funny. I was right. But I’m still kind of sorry.

I wish I could’ve seen your face.

‘Oh my god! His shoulders are out!’ Scandalous.

Risky? Yes. Worth it. Yes, can’t wait to hear you whine about it when I fuck you again.

——————-

Date

September 3rd

“Okay, let’s get ready for the lake.” Luke stood up and clapped his hands together once, a loud *pop* resounding through the living room.

“Already on it.” You huffed, throwing yourself forward into a sitting position and hopping to your feet.

You entered your room and noticed two things immediately: 1) the ring is gone 2) your red one piece swimsuit is on the bed. Upon further investigation you discovered a note laying on top of it.

Written in quick scratch was a short note from Ghost.

‘Doe,

I’ve taken the liberty of making adjustments to your wardrobe.‘

‘Adjustments?’ You thought, grabbing your bag and dumping it out on the bed.

The only things missing were your other bathing suits and your shower stuff, quickly grabbing the red suit you rushed to the bathroom and locked yourself in to change. Pushing back the shower curtain you saw your body wash and shampoo, the walls still wet from his shower. You couldn’t help but let out an annoyed huff.

Your phone vibrated on the side of the small bathroom sink, sliding across the porcelain and falling into the sink basin. You quickly fixed the straps of your bathing suit and retrieved your phone before the leaky tap could wet the screen.

A video message awaited you from ghost, the image from the thumbnail made you laugh in a choked kind of surprise. He was outside giving you a leather thumbs up, your hot pink string bikini on overtop of his black hoodie. As you pressed play the video was mostly silent other than the nature noises of the background until he flipped the camera around and zoomed in.

A low modified whistle left his lips as his camera focused on the bathroom window, your bare back in the frame for a moment before he shifted the camera slightly to get the mirror in front of you, showcasing your breasts as you changed into your swimsuit.

You swiftly spun around going to the window to scan the area, he couldn’t have possibly gotten too far away. Throwing open the window you stuck your head out and looked to the left and then to the right where Ghost had suddenly appeared, inches from your face.

“Ow! Fuck, agh-“ You yelped, whacking your head on the window pane while he laughed at your expense.

“Hey! You okay?” Luke banged yelled from the other side of the bathroom door.

“Y-yeah!” You shouted back, turning to look inside the bathroom again before turning back around to see Ghost had crouched down, out of view if you were to open the bathroom door.

“What are you doing? You’re takin’ ages.”

“Uh- sorry. Wardrobe difficulties.” You squeaked out, glancing back at ghost who was still wearing your hot bikini bikini top, sans bottoms… which was honestly a bit disappointing. You heard Luke walk off, yelling to your sister that you were probably ‘on the throne’.

“Who is he? The Queen?” Ghost’s mechanical voice came from beneath the mask.

“Close enough.” You shrugged your shoulders and watched as he stood up to his full height, his knees cracking upon the ascent.

“Why did you take my shit Ghost? I wanted to wear that!” Whisper shouting at him while you hung the upper half of your body out the window.

“That’s why I took it.” He said plainly. “I don’t want you looking like a fucking slut out there without me around to keep other eyes off you.”

“Who the hell is gonna see me out here!? You shouldn’t have even seen me out here!” You pointed angrily.

“Shut up, I know you’re happy I’m here.” He snarled, getting right in your face, reaching up to grab your chin. “I heard you last night.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You scoffed as if you hadn’t done exactly what he was insinuating.

“I don’t want the girl who moans for me to be ogled at by some fucking frat guys.” He barked, shaking your chin and digging in his leather fingers.

You turned bright pink. You couldn’t argue with his statement. You did moan for him. Under him, over him, even without him.

“What frat guys?” You stuttered, avoiding acknowledgement to the first half of his sentence.

“Across the lake.” He pointed, flicking out his knife to gesture in their direction. “Big group of ‘em. Paid them a visit last night just to check things out, you know I worry about you.” He said in a quieter tone, bringing the blade of his knife to your bottom lip and tapping it with the flat side.

“I would’ve never known they were there if you hadn’t told me.” You narrowed your eyes, speaking carefully as the knife rested against your lip.

“Maybe.” He shrugged. “Or maybe not.”

“What’s that supposed- shit, why?” You flinched and brought your hand to your mouth touching the nick he’d left when he quickly jerked the knife away.

“So you’ll think of me when you’re yapping to some no-count bitch boy from across the way.” He snapped back. His leathered thumb came up to spread the blood across your bottom lip and past it onto your tongue.

“It’s just a bonus that you bleed so fucking pretty.” He pushed your tongue down with his thumb, rubbing the crimson liquid into the squishy muscle, then curling the same thumb behind your bottom row of teeth and shifting his cock in his jeans with his free hand.

“Clean it for me baby?” His modified voice lower than usual.

“No, use your mouth doe.” He chuckled when you reached out to grab the knife from him to rinse in the sink.

“What?” You furrowed your eyebrows but opened your mouth anyway. He placed the blade on your tongue and nodded at you.

“Now suck it.” He grumbled, affectionately patting your cheek twice before using two fingers to push up your chin and close your mouth around the cool steel.

————————————————————————

“What happened?” You sister asked, touching the scabbed line that traveled up your ass cheek and disappeared beneath your swimsuit.

“Well, I just fell.” You muttered, pulling the hem line to cover more of it. “Don’t really know what cut me but it happened a little bit ago.”

“You need to be more careful.” She shook her head, finishing up her job of rubbing in your sun tan lotion. “I swear you’re worse than my toddler.”

“Oh shut up, I am not.” You scoffed, “there’s a difference between something you don’t have any control over and choosing to shove a pebble up your nose.”

“I- that was only one time! When will you let that go?” She asked grumpily. “What am I supposed to do, carry around a fucking periscope so I can see behind me?”

“I’m not- I was kidding.” You sighed, shoving her out in front of you, making her stumble.

You clicked the lotion shut and shook it up, slamming it down on the heel of your hand before putting a generous amount in your palm. You slapped it onto her back and rubbed it in, ignoring the hissing sound she made when the wet glob of sunscreen in your palm smacked her flesh and splattered messily across her skin.

“Caleb is just… an explorer.” Lauren said, trying to make it sound better than it was.

“I never shoved anything up my nose.” Luke chimed in from behind his sunglasses, sitting up against one of the dock posts. “Lauren, you know I was an ‘explorer’.”

“No. You were a bug boy.” You snorted, looking over at him with a little smirk.

“So what? I liked… like bugs. They’re cool okay?” He grumbled waving them off.

“Remember when you had Ants on a Log with actual ants?” You giggled, Lauren crouching down as she let out a guffaw.

“I was seven!” He said defensively, crossing his arms.

“Caleb is two. He can shove a pebble up his nose and it can be excused.” Lauren snorted, catching her breath. “You were seven, you knew better. You have no room to talk.”

“Okay mom,” Luke huffed, you knew without a doubt that he was rolling his eyes behind those glasses. “At least I don’t still pick my nose.”

“Hey! Sometimes you just gotta get up in there.” Lauren pointed at him, a scowl on her face. “Don’t lie, you pick your nose. Everybody does!”

“Uh… I mean I technically pick my nose. Just with a tissue.” You said, supporting your sister in your useless argument.

“So you’re both gross then.” Luke gagged and grabbed his stomach dramatically.

“If I’m gross, so are you.” You said, getting settled on your towel. “Lauren’s right. Everyone picks their nose.”

“You’re both horrible.” He grumbled, shaking his head before standing up and lowering himself into an inner-tube so that he could float on the water.

You all had a peaceful first half of your day, it was refreshing after the hike to relax in the sunshine, letting the heat lull you into a state of calm and the opportunity to think of nothing save for the concentration of singling out different nature noises just because you could. Cicadas, the occasional grunt of a bullfrog, Whippoorwills calling out to each other in the trees, the gentling lapping of the lake against the dock.

None of the city sounds that clouded your head and made it feel cluttered.

It was cleansing, a nice reset for your mental state. Exactly what you needed, exactly what you were so happy to be here for. Now if only you could get some clarity on the difficulty you’d return to after your weekend of being at ease.

Even in peace times nothing is perfect.

The gentleness of the world you’d drifted into was being infiltrated. The distant sounds of a boat zipping through the water at much higher speed that it should’ve, especially with the water skier attached to the towline. What could make it worse? Two jet skis flanked the boat at a good distance away, though it was clear they were all in one group. Shouting and laughing like drunken fools, which you were sure they were considering the way they were behaving.

You licked your bottom lip, reminded of the small nick Ghost had left you with. These must be the ‘no-count bitch boys’ he was referring to earlier. You had to admit, he was definitely right about that. Wrong about your willingness to speak with them though.

You huffed and stood up, deciding now would be a good time to take a refreshing break in the water. The liquid enveloped your skin, the heat of the sun having beat down on you had your flesh soaking up the warmth so much that the water felt cold. In involuntary shiver tickled your spine as you swam over to Luke where he’d floated a way from the dock.

Slowly but surely the boat along with its entourage weaved its way across the water to your side of the lake, you pushed Luke’s inner-tube back toward the dock to give -them- yourself some space.

“Thanks babe.” Luke said, dipping his hand into the water and flicking it at your face.

“Hey! I was trying to be nice!” You scowled, reflexively sliding your hands beneath the tube to dump Luke out of it.

“I could’ve drowned!” He gasped as he resurfaced, taking off his sunglasses so he could wipe the water from his face and shake out his hair.

“Oh whatever, don’t be whiny.” You grinned.

“Me? You’re telling me not to whine?” Luke tossed his glasses up onto the dock and made his way toward you quickly. “All I did was flick you with water and you tried to drown me!”

“I did not!” Squealing as he lifted you up and tossed you farther into the water. How such a scrawny little guy could do such a thing was beyond you, but you had no time to contemplate.

You only had time for revenge. Squinting beneath the murky waters you made your way to Luke, hearing him call out your name in garbled syllables.

Ever since you’d known Luke, he’s had an irrational fear of the tiny possibility that there may be an alligator in any body of water. Didn’t matter how far from the wetlands of the states you were. There was always a slim chance, to him at least.

Holiday Inn pool? ‘But it’s outside, it could’ve crawled in! Will you just check it?’

Tiny dollar-store-bought blow up pool in your backyard? ‘But the creek! The creek’s back there… I’m not going in till you do.’

It got to the point that it was so severe his dad had to come up with a ‘gator gauge’ which was really just a hand-held tennis ball launcher he’d spray painted green and put a ‘gator free’ sticker on the back of so he could prove it was safe. Top-notch, high security, military grade ‘gator gauge’ that doubled as the lazy way to play fetch with their dog.

It was mean. Maybe a bit cruel… but he deserved it. So you swam behind him and put the heels of your palms together, spreading your fingers and creating jaws. You’d disappear from sight for long enough that a hypothetical alligator could’ve dragged you off and you heard Luke call out for you again.

Your lungs started to burn and you knew it was time to enact your plan. Luke stood on his tiptoes in the water, the perfect opportunity to press your fingers and nails into the muscle of his flexed calf. He screamed and thrashed about, you let him go and backed up so you could resurface. You popped up and sucked in a deep breath that turned into a choked laughing fit.

“You little bitch!” He yelled, splashing as he swam at you, pushing you under the water by your shoulders. He quickly pulled you back up and shoved your shoulder. A pink tint to his cheeks from embarrassment, he huffed and splashed a wave of water at you.

“I could’ve drowned!” You mocked him, pretending to cough.

In your short time of distraction the boat and its occupants had cut the engine and let the momentum carry them closer. The jet skis now tethered to the back, the ladder down in the water. Despite the safer option a group of five guys jumped over the side and made themselves at home in your space.

“Hey! How are you ladies?” One of them asked, completely ignoring that Luke was right there with you.

“No soliciting, thanks.” Your sister popped her head up and shook her left hand to show off her wedding ring.

“Whoa, didn’t mean anything like that!” He laughed and his friends agreed. “Just wanted to say hello, see if you guys were up for a drink.”

“I think we’re just fine.” Luke spoke up from behind you.

“I wasn’t asking you.”

“Alright, let’s go.” Sighing you turned around and swam until you were able to touch the lake bottom, walking the rest of the way to the shore.

“Hope you’re going to get some mixers.” A different guy shouted.

“Going to get a restraining order if you don’t leave.” You shot back over your shoulder, earning a round of laughs from them, the opposite of what you’d hoped for.

“C’mon. Don’t be like that! Just give us a chance. We’re good people.”

“Good at ruining my day.” Luke mumbled, following behind me and scooping up his stuff and getting ready to leave.

“You’re going? Serious?” One of them laughed.

“You came over here uninvited, you’re not entitled to our company.” You said, turning around and walking toward the house.

“That may be true but you’ve certainly made up for it by jiggling that ass.” His friends snickered and one smacked his arm.

You reminded yourself that you were here to have fun. Not to argue with a man who has half the brain capacity of a drunk squirrel.

Deciding you couldn’t let them win, you figured you’d beat them in your own way. You continued on without another word, pretending you hadn’t heard them, instead pulling out your phone and sending a simple text message.

‘You were right.’

The answer was an immediate: ‘I know.’

Diary entry: September 3rd

I hate to say I told you so. But I will.

I. Told. You. So.

I was having a great time watching you, it was reminiscent of how I used to watch you have dinner and I’d eat with you. You’re so cute and playful… I love you so much. I know that Luke is super gay, that’s not why I’m jealous. I’m not worried about that. I’m not stupid and I’m not paranoid, I know better. I’m jealous because it should’ve been me that you were playing around with.

I’m jealous cause you didn’t invite me. I’m jealous that you got to swim and I’m sitting in a tree, soaking my shirt with sweat. I’m jealous that Luke had a beer. I’m jealous that your sister took a nap. I’m jealous that those shit-for-brains tried to talk to you. (I love your sisters fucking comeback though.)

I’m jealous that they got a better look at your sweet little ass than I did too.

I’m pleased that you were so off-put by their behavior that you texted me little doe. What a very good girl you can be, but, oh so good at being bad too. You’re just like me. Maybe I’m making it worse, maybe better. I don’t know, I don’t really care either.

I’m just excited.

My little doe is feeding that flame of deviancy hanging out deep within your stomach. I knew you had it in there somewhere, gods you’re just so fucking perfect. I’ve never felt more lucky. ‘Ghost, I’ve got one more day here. What if they come back?’

What if indeed.

Men can be unpredictable. A woman is safer in a pit of snakes that being alone with a man she doesn’t know. Which is why I try so desperately to protect you especially in situations like this. That delivery guy? He seemed harmless. But I dug a bit deeper and well, he wasn’t so harmless after all.

Now, these boys might be disgusting pigs who prefer to wallow in the squalor and bask in the glory of their custom made beer can wall. They don’t deserve anything too harsh. Also; Wow. It’s amazing how they’ve managed to drink that much and none of them have been hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. But back to business, I personally don’t feel like killing anyone. I know for a fact you don’t. I also know that even if I did feel like it, I couldn’t because you’d definitely know it was me. Then what the hell would I do?

You had no good ideas. Which is not your fault, you just can’t think about these things on your own. You need guidance and that’s what I’m here for. So, I settled on something you’ve never done, I haven’t done in a long time, and it’s not technically illegal here… just heavily frowned upon. I hate their shit attitudes, they’re gross and they’ve disrespected you and that’s unacceptable. So a nice little bit of property ‘destruction’ is in order. Middle school memories, how sweet.

TP the cabin? Absolutely. Destroy their beer can wall? Definitely. Silly string their vehicles? Duh.

Fuck you before and after? Yes. Always.

Part Fifteen

Tag-List:

@wickedtactics @tsugumiholic @kingdomhate @burnthecheshirewitch @exquisitcorpse @arzua10 @bby-imasociopath @depressed-kay @aliciaasky @naty-1001 @mrsmikaelsxn @bunnylovesani @ausskywalker @angelsadmired @slut4starwars @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie @starkiller419 @hearts4mitski4 @lethargic @allhailbuckybarnes-blog @shadowhuntyi @mortalheartache @fallinlovewithevil @sythethecarrot @chaoticantihero r @vadersslut @luvvfromme @anakinsbaee @sweetcheesecakesblog @luvskywxlker @angelsadmired @kaminokatie @anakin-pilled @graveyard-stray @chiaraanatra @jediavengers @zapernz @lunalitva @salted-snailz @queenofchaos99 @ellie-luvsfics @dazednstars141 @hopesworlld @lonaah @guiltycherries @syralix @doblasftcisco @demieyesore @hemmoxloser

Thanks to @rottencandyblood and all their love❤️

THE TAGS LIST IS FULL! But if you want to be tagged I will comment ur username for you. Love you all so many.

[milaswriting]

Update. — 3rd October 2024

Well, helloo. If you're following me and reading this then...you must really hate me for my lack of activity on this blog. I apologise for that. Doing a masters degree really kicks my ass, and leaves me with no time to write. But Golden has never been dead or abandoned, it's very much always at the forefront of my mind.

And, for that pure reason, I know it's a story I haven't been 1,000% happy with so the story is going through some major changes. Probably, the first is that it's being rewritten. A (somewhat) new plot written with whole new software—we're making the move to Twine.

My reasoning; I've spent over a year learning the coding which makes me want to rip my hair out. I get to have a lot more ownership over my work, the customisation options are stellar, and you guys will get to read it for free.

The reasons for rewriting has been because I want to fix the cringey writing from when the story's first demo was released. It's mostly from the earlier chapters, but then the thought of plot changes came to me and I wanted to implement those. Realistically, the majority of what's being rewritten is what I had planned for book two—so I'm just bringing that forward. I'll update the synopsis closer to the release of this rewrite.

The changes (which can be subject to change): I'm getting rid of the university idea (though you can still choose careers that are related to those degrees from the options that'll be given) (e.g., if you liked the nursing student option, then your MC can work as a nurse). I'm thinking that the MC will already know about the supernatural world to some extent—there'll still be a lot of suspense and mystery and things to unravel, that was always going to remain. And, in this rewrite, my thought is that the MC and the gang will be working at a multi-agency organisation — called The Everbrook — where the aim is to bridge the gap between humans and supernaturals. To make the world run smoothly, so to speak.

The ROs are the exact same! No changes to that—the only change is that them and the mc will somewhat know of each other already. The genre is the same. MC is still as they are, a Lehsian socialite with a pretty (yet peculiar) birthmark. The parents will have much, much less of a role, but they'll still be mentioned here and there.

This seems like a load of word vomit, but I feel like these changes will improve the story. I'm hoping that it'll make MC less of a spare part in the story, allowing them to have more autonomy in the supernatural universe, especially with their enhanced skillset.

I've done the customisation in terms of the UI layout for Twine already, and it should be mobile friendly too. With that done, I've started writing and I'm a few thousand words in. A lot of what I've written in the ChoiceScript version can still be used, but also getting back into writing a story from scratch is something I'm looking forward to.

I feel like this is a bittersweet thing because yay to a new and better story, but also the time it's going to take to get it out. I'll debate whether to release the whole ten chapters, or do a few chapters at a time, like splitting it up into chunks (releasing three chapters now, and three chapters later on).

Another reason as to why I've taken so long to mention this, other than learning code and the rewrite, is just the whole process of this being a little nerve-wracking. The whole thought of a rewrite of something I've put so much effort into is scary, but it'll be worth it.

I'll accept any questions you've got, and I'll create an FAQ regarding all of this too. But, most importantly, you're in the loop of how this is progressing. I really appreciate everyone's kind words about this story: loving the ros, re-reading it, still sticking by my writing—it means a lot. So, thank you and I hope the future of this story is what you want and more.

PLANS.

Finish introductory scenes.

Finish chapter one.

WORD COUNT.

2.2k (rewrite)

[jackwhiteprophetic]

Guys I was just thinking about how they should have to put the entire 118 into witness protection at some point. PLEASE.

- Buck and Eddie decide their new identities are married. No one asked them to do this, it actually makes it more complicated for the scheme but also no one is surprised.

- Chim works at a vet and he has a really grumpy old cat that is his enemy. Also he keeps trying to call 911 at every point because he misses Maddie.

- Hen is works at a computer company which she originally hated, but then Karen coded a way for them to communicate with an encrypted homemade software thing.

- Buck and Eddie work in an ice cream van. The local queer kids love to come by and talk to them and Buck and Eddie, still completely oblivious, just think they're being like really good allies.

- Bobby was originally a chef but then he started to become somewhat of a local celebrity and this threatened to blow his cover... (Also he does not attempt to contact Athena because she would NOT find it amusing).

Actually this whole ordeal only lasts a day. Because they all end up blowing their cover, because Buck and Eddie go tiktok viral for Eddie's rants about Hildy, the local 911 dispatch centre get really confused and keep sending police to the vet, Hen is fired too fast and tries to smuggle a computer with a strange virus out with her, and Bobby starts getting book deals. All in a day.

Ravi was fine. But he has to be removed with them.

So the 118 are just kept in a safe house for the foreseeable future, but it's okay because Maddie, Karen, Athena (and weirdly Chris) have managed to solve the crime and such (I'll leave the copaganda story to the writers), so they can all go home.

Buck and Eddie lovingly and quickly decide they 'can't be bothered' to get unmarried due to all the paperwork, and no one has the heart to tell them it wasn't real in the first place.

[walkawaytall]

I am somewhat loving the Y2K/Crowdstrike comparisons, but that general idea did bring something to mind:

The only reason Y2K didn't end up being a thing is because programmers worked for like a decade to fix code. My mom worked for a small software company in the late-80s and early-90s, and she said that they were discussing a game plan for Y2K by like 1992. And I just feel like that sort of care and foresight with technology has evaporated in such a short period of time.

Making everything cloud-based has resulted in incomplete products being pushed into production because they can always be patched or updated later, but companies want the dollars the purchases will bring in now. And, I'm not saying that's what caused the Crowdstrike thing. But I do think the "We can just push an update sometime" attitude has caused a lot of loosening of standards when it comes to software and online services. Customers are acting as unwilling beta testers for products and services that, in the past, would have been fully tested before going into production, and it is 1000% driven by greed and need for immediate profitability and remaining on the cutting edge of technology rather than a sustainable business model based around quality products.

I'm not even entirely sure what I'm rambling about. I just hate that I feel like in my short 36 years on this planet, I've somehow seen technology at its best evolve into technology at its worst over a period of maybe two decades. It bums me out.

[wyllzel]

get to know your tumblr mutuals tag!

i was tagged by @nfly5, thank you laura!! :))

1. what's the origin of your username?

i think wyll ravengard of bg3 fame and lae'zel also of bg3 fame should kiss and fall in love and ride dragons into the sunset (or, rather, the astral plane) together :)

2. otps + shipname

wyllzel 🥰 and vivwall (vivienne x blackwall dai) at the moment for sure!

i'm trying to think of more, but honestly i'm p easygoing when it comes to ships haha i'll take a peek at almost anything that seems compelling 🫣

3. song stuck in my head

"purple lace bra" by tate mcrae for uhhh no reason 🤫 and "feel it" by d4vd for also no reason LOL (🎶 you told me once that i was crazy i said babygirl i knooooowww but i can't let you gooo (away!) 🎶)

4. weirdest trait/habit

i have a growing aversion to cold drinks lol it's starting to feel odd drinking something that isn't hot... that's not that weird though, i think i'm just becoming a grandma LOL

5. hobbies

photoshop!! i like making gifs and edits and such :) i've also been writing a lot more recently which is crazy, i haven't felt this inspired or productive in forever :'D thank you DA lol 🩷

i am also v much a webtoon enjoyer (my all-time fave is "trash belongs in the trash can!" but i'm currently v invested in "nevermore," "i'm the queen in this life," "sisters at war," and "momfluencer"!), but i'll read manga (tatsuki fujimoto my GOAT) and comics (invincible also my GOAT)

6. if you work, what's your profession?

i write internal software documentation which means it's architectural, high-level design stuff... not so much code-specific, but the reasoning behind why software components are organized the way they are. it's not very fun, mostly mind-melting... i work closely w engineers and it's kind of a toss-up whether they'll be nice/patient or think i'm stupid lol

but my brain now contains so many company secrets :^) if you ever have any questions about data storage/virtualization i can possibly help lol

7. if you could have any job you wish, what would you have?

funny story—i applied for grad school, and i've been accepted to an english m.a. program that starts this fall!!! 🥹 we'll see where i go w that, but i'll likely enter education!

8. something you're good at?

uhh i suppose BG3 LOL i beat honor mode twice! 🎉 (i'm still trying to figure out how DA works 🤔 DA2 hard mode is chill idk if i'd ever do nightmare tho 😬)

9. something you hate?

ok it's not rly a "hate" thing but it does irk me when i see fandom claims/arguments that don't cite specific quotes/screenshots/instances lol (the english major in me activates and i am consumed by the thought "🚨‼️ where do you see this in the text 👁️👁️🫵" LOL)

10. something you forget?

the grief 😂🖐️ it creeps up on me! almost cried in my cubicle multiple times this week. haha.

11. your love language?

receiving is probably words of affirmation? giving is probably gifts, i like making silly things for my bestie (eg. fenris keychain lol) and finding weird stickers for my brother 🤡

12. favorite movies/shows?

my letterboxd top 4 are:

everything everywhere all at once (2022) (saw it twice in theaters and sobbed thru both times)

nope (2022) (BRILLIANT movie, so smart)

challengers (2024) (so fascinating!)

lust, caution (2007) (i need to rewatch this one expeditiously)

as for shows, i love succession (2018-23), invincible (2021-), and the twilight zone (1959-64)!

13. what were you like as a child?

apparently very friendly, outgoing, and extroverted! i would just run up to my fellow kids and yap at them?! i do nooot do that anymore lol

14. favorite subject in school?

english/literature!!

15. least favorite subject?

oh man, i was so bad at science, especially biology/chemistry... i could scrape by in physics bc i was decent at math, but it was still awful...

16. what's your best/worst character trait?

worst...??? according to my last annual review, i need to be more confident in the workplace LOL 💀 + sometimes i let my anxiety get the better of me... i think that's just a lifelong struggle thing though, but i know i can improve to be a better friend and such 💪

best... multiple reviews from mom-aged women say that i am a "nice" and "sweet" person so hopefully at least that means i can leave a good first impression haha

17. if you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

i'm not a huge fan of what-if-ing personally, but i do wish i were on vacation 😆

18. if you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

i'm currently very curious about my paternal grandparents... it's hard for me to conceptualize why they got married... and how my dad grew up... i guess i would want to witness some of that??

tagging: hello again haha!! @creaking-skull @andrewknightley @coolseabird @genderdotcom @bladeweave @grey-wardens @maironsbigboobs no pressure again :))

[xmochaccinox]

Kendratello: An Analysis

What’s up?

I wanted to do an analysis on this ship, and now I'm doing it!

If you are in the Rise Fandom and somehow you have never heard of it, Kendratello is basically a ship between Donnie and Kendra that’s slowly gaining popularity

For as long as I have been in the Rise fandom, I’ve been seeing this ship popping up more and more. By now, it’s almost impossible to meet someone who hasn't heard of the ship, and even though there’s not much content of it, there’s definitely more people who ship it than you think

However, despite the growing popularity, there are still a good chunk of people that hate it for various reasons

But how did it come to be? Where did the ship come from? Why is it so loved by some and hated by others? Well, I’m gonna answer all those questions and even share my own opinions on the ship!

But first a disclaimer!

This analysis is ONLY meant to describe why people like Kendratello or why they don’t like it! Any canon info I bring up will be provided in full context alongside descriptions of how Kendratello shippers may interprete said canon info in order to gain a better understanding of their perspective

Everything I say about the ship is mainly from what I know from the Kendratello content on Tumblr as I don't really use any other social media

I'll also mostly be focused on Kendra because most of the arguments against Kendratello has to do with her

This is NOT meant to be something to persuade or dissuade you from shipping Kendratello!

So let’s get started!

In order to begin, let’s introduce the lovely characters involved in this ship with a brief description

Donatello, also known as Donnie, is a softshell turtle and one of the middle children alongside his twin, Leo

Much like his other versions, Donnie works with tech, but what makes him more unique is that he displays a more mad-scientist-like attitude and has a huge theater kid persona

Kendra is one of the antagonists introduced during the first season. She’s the leader of a computer tech group called The Purple Dragons and specializes in working with computer software, hacking, and modifying

She and her group are basically trouble makers causing various kinds of chaos, to describe them incredibly briefly

So how do they meet?

Donnie and Kendra meet in the episode The Purple Jacket when Donnie sneaks into April’s school to help her with a project. It was there he first noticed the tech club. Well, not really the club, but more the jacket. He then immediately tries to join the club just to get his hands on said jacket by showing off his tech.

Kendra, seemingly impressed, allows Donnie to join and gives him Jason’s jacket. However, it’s revealed that the only reason why she let Donnie join was so she and her group could steal his tech in order to use them to rob various tech stores in order to then steal a code from some very important computer company. Of course Donnie and April stop them and get them arrested. The end

So that’s basically the beginning, now let's go over why someone wouldn't ship it

First thing to get it out of the way, you were ask why someone didn't ship Kendratello, then most of the time, they would say that it’s because of Kendra, so let’s talk about that!

Kendra is a bully. She uses others for her own benefit and causes mischief for her own entertainment, which can range from annoying yet harmless pranks to her getting people hurt

After she stole Donnie’s stuff and he got her arrested, Kendra retaliated by making Donnie think he’s just playing a normal video game when in reality, he’s controlling a giant robot that almost smashed his brothers, and then tries to do so herself when that fails for the sake of seeing Donnie’s reaction

She also convinced Shelldon (Donnie’s robotic companion who was feeling low when they encountered due to an argument he and Donnie had) into participating a deadly race known for causing many drones to get dismantled just to win her the Shadow Transmitter and then yelled at him and ditched him when he failed

And these are only things she did to Donnie. She also yells at and gets physically violent with Jason, and while she does see Jeremy more as an equal, she still snaps at him and shoves him around

She's sadistic, she's cruel. There’s a 50-50 chance that either she’s aware of how bad she is and doesn't care or sees nothing wrong with anything that she does. And judging by how done April seems towards her, and the way Jeremy barely reacts to anything she does, I’m gonna assume that Kendra’s been like this for a while

And yeah, she’s an antagonist, so no shit she’s awful

However, if we wanna play the Canon game, then canonically, Donnie altered his brothers’ minds to make them smarter, he gave Leo a shock collar as a present to “correct” his behavior, he chained up Sheldon as punishment for giving him attitude, and he almost destroyed a town just to prove he’s right

The only difference between the two is that

Donnie did feel remorse for all of them and tried to fix it to the best of his ability. Kendra on the other hand doesn't really show all that much remorse for what she does and has full intentions of doing it again if she ever gets the opportunity (and she has, multiple times)

I am purposefully leaving what Donnie did out somewhat of context just to make him look as bad as Kendra (specifically their intentions behind their actions)

(And just to get it out of the way, Jeremy and Jason are both just as bad as Kendra. Even though Kendra, for the most part, treats them like trash as well, they still willingly go along with what she wants)

However, there are others who don’t ship it because Kendra reminds them of someone in real life and it makes them uncomfortable

Now, I just wanna say that if you feel uncomfortable with Kendratello due to this, I completely understand

I also want to say that even if you don’t know anyone that Kendra makes you think of, it’s still okay to be uncomfortable with the ship. You do not need a reason why to not like a ship, and if anyone has a problem with that, that’s on them

So with that in mind, it’s completely understandable why anyone would dislike the ship. Based on the evidence, they would be an extremely toxic relationship. You’d have to be absolutely INSANE to even think this is a good ship, right?

Well… Here’s the thing

Like most ships in existence, you gotta have the art of interpretation and shutting off the canon brain, especially when it comes to Kendra

Sure, there are still some things that makes Kendra, Kendra, like her working with tech, her being super smart, her going by a purple theme, and sometimes she’s still a menace (depending on the story)

And the other thing you need to know is that Kendra, just like all the other non-important villains in Rise, is pretty much a one-dimensional character. Her character is literally just a bully who’s the leader of a tech club that's constantly after devices that can hack any computer. Other than a few things, we barely know that much about Kendra, so there’s room for people to add their own personal headcanons and stuff

And it's not like Kendra is going to be evil 24/7, which gives people a change to give Kendra more traits to be more than just that as well exploring the potential reasons she is the way she is

Basically what happens 90% of the time is that most of Kendra’s negative traits are turned into positive ones. For example, take the fact that she's manipulative, arrogant, insensitive, bossy, and aloof, and turn them into charismatic, confident, honest, assertive, and reserved. These are all words that have different associations, but they basically mean the same thing

And Kendra is usually either

Given some kind of tragic backstory (usually revolving around her parents getting a divorce)

Given a redemption arc

Given more likable traits

Most of or all of the above

There’s also a good chance that the Kendratello story someone is sharing either takes place after the series or it takes place in an AU, so of course the characters are going to be a little/very different. Although sometimes you'll find stories that take place before or during the series. Many people have their own ideas on how Kendratello would go. Though usually what I talked about above is often the formula used. You just gotta find the right story, or make your own story of how you think Donnie and Kendra would fall in love and eventually get together!

And keeping with the themes Rise has of being lighthearted, it’s pretty fun and hilarious to imagine those two bickering one minute and then making out the next. It’s pretty easy to see a bit of a slow-burn enemies to lovers where Kendra and Donnie both slowly realize that oh no, they’re totally into each other, but won’t say anything because of their pride and all that. So there’s the drama, the tension, the idea of will they, won’t they?

Plus, come on, lots of us love a good Enemies To Lovers story with some Slow Burn on the side

And imagine those two going on a date by committing various crimes and half the city is destroyed because of them and then they watch the news talking about what they did while cuddling and holding their new pet cat that they randomly got at some point

Overall, most of the time the story is about two messed up individuals who end up finding peace with each other. They feel like they're the only ones that can understand each other, and they hate it, but at the same time, they don't mind

However, that’s just one side of the ship

I said it in another post I made, but if we look at the ship through another viewpoint, the side that leans more towards the toxic side of the ship, then Kendra is the embodiment of Donnie’s deepest fears and insecurities

The biggest thing people tend to overlook about Donnie is that he cares very much about being useful to the people he loves. It’s why he behaved the way he did in Witch Town, because he’s terrified that if magic can do what he does but better, then no one will need him anymore

Meanwhile Kendra is someone who will very much jump at a chance to take advantage of anything that will benefit her, especially if it has anything to do with Donnie

Donnie is the provider, and Kendra is the exploiter

Those two are perfect for each other in the worst way possible and horrible for each other in the best way possible

And I will mention too that are things that happen in canon that people interpret to be Kendratello moments, or they say could be used as evidence for Kendratello

Kendra blowing a kiss to Donnie (The Purple Jacket: She does this before attempting to leave Donnie to deal with his tech turning against him (which she hacked) to go rob the world bank)

Donnie saying that “Cute but mean” is his type (War and Pizza: He says this while getting stomped on by a tomato animatronic, saying, “Oh you’re so cute, but so mean! Why do I always go for your type?!” before proceeding to electrocute it)

Donnie and Kendra flirt whenever they interact (purely interpretation)

Donnie wanting to join the Purple Dragons because he has a crush on Kendra (also purely interpretation)

Now my thoughts on the actual ship? Eh, it’s complex

I see them as a Doomed to Fail type. They would most likely end up in some kind of a codependent relationship because of their biggest flaws, and I can see the official break up being extremely messy on both sides (since I 100% see them taking several “breaks”). Then after a couple years, things are back to normal, with Donnie and Kendra being rivals, only this time they have a respect for each other and they even help each other out if the other person needs it. And even though they still have some feelings for each other, they choose to remain as exes because they don’t want to risk falling back into old habits

On the other hand, I’m frankly tired of the whole, “Bad Person’s Not Actually Bad, They’re Just Misunderstood And Need Someone Who Understands Them” thing

And before anyone tries telling me about Kendra dealing with her parents having a divorce

We don’t know what exactly happened during the divorce between her parents. There’s no cookie cutter reaction to how a teenager would react to their parents having a divorce no matter how well or badly it's handled

The only time Kendra ever brought up the implications that her parents are divorced was when Jason failed to get the Shadow Transmitter. She told him that she wished her father never married his mother, which implies the only reason why Jason is part of the Purple Dragons is because he’s her step-brother. So basically she’s telling him that if she could kick him out then she would

Now, I’m not saying Kendra’s dad and stepmom are the perfect parents, because clearly they’re not with what I’ve mentioned so far, but still

And don't get me wrong, I'm on team Purple Dragons Get A Redemption Arc, I just see it happening more in a way where they become anti-heroes because they got bored of going after the same goal over and over again

Alright, those are all of my opinions

So, overall, do you have to ship Kendratello? No

Is it one of the more complex ships? Oh yeah

Did me rewatching every single scene Kendra is in over and over again in order to describe how she is in canon make it really hard to make this whole thing without being biased? Most definitely

But really, the reason why people ship Kendratello? It’s just for fun!

I know some people in every fandom tend to take shipping and their head canons way too seriously for some reason, but here? It’s genuinely just for fun

That’s all I have to say, but hopefully you now know more about it! Again, if you don’t ship it cause it makes you uncomfortable, that’s okay! But it doesn't give you an excuse to harass those that do. If it bothers you so bad, then the block button is right there. People have their own ideas of how the ship would go and their own reasons why they like it

If you got any questions or something to say, don’t hesitate to send them my way. I can’t guarantee that I’ll get to all of them, but I’ll do my best!

[themysticaldrumstick]

You mention E has 9 siblings? Is he close with any of them, if so what did they think of the divorce? Do any of them miss MC? Any who aggressively bad-mouth MC in support?

Yes! I've been wanting to write about E's family so bad lol, you have no idea. There's going to be an interaction with them in-game too and you'll love it.

E has a massive family, of course. Their mom-- Pamela and dad-- Mark have been in a very loving relationship for the past 37 years. They have a loving family, but sadly, they come from a family of overachievers which is why, at many instances, they are slightly insecure of themselves.

Next up, comes Emma. Emma is a bit stuck-up, slightly distant from E and does NOT like MC/nor does she support their relationship. She expected the divorce. (An year younger to E.)

Emilio is the third-born, he is more into arts, which is slightly discouraged in their family, passively. He is, somewhat outgoing, hot-headed and supports MC, but is neutral to them. (Two years younger to E.)

Della is the fourth-born. She is sassy, quick-witted and a rather famous local actress, who works with brands for advertisements for usual businesses. She loves MC and supports their relationship. (Four years younger to E.)

Cameron is the fifth born. He is quiet, unbothered and works as a scientist. Does not particularly care of his family, does not visit them either and has a coarse relationship with E as well as MC. Does not even care of their relationship. (Five years younger to E.)

Jayden is the sixth-born. He is loud, happy-go lucky and loves MC with all his heart. He loves his family and supports E's marriage. Is a chess-player, professionally. (Seven years younger to E.)

Milo is the seventh-born. He is shy but, rather hilarious. He does not like MC nor, does he supports their relationship. Currently a player in the national soccer team. (Eight years younger to E.)

Thalia is the eighth-born. She is slightly spoilt from all the attention of her siblings. Her relationship with MC is mostly neutral and she is uncaring of E's marriage. Works as a software-engineer. (Ten years younger to E.)

Velia: Twin to Vora, she is the troublemaker of the family. Loves playing jokes, harmless pranks on Milo, because they constantly keep feuding. Likes MC somewhat, and supports MC's relationship. (Eleven years younger to E.)

Vora: Twin to Velia. He is the quieter and more serious twin. Hates pranks, is slightly cranky but likes MC too. Supports their relationship. (Eleven years younger to E.)

And that's it, fellas! Boi, do my hands hurt. I've coded a lot, worked a bit on the stat screen, drew a special someone. AND-- 🥁

I present to you, MURKY! 👏

This fat, floofy boi belongs to E. He loves belly-rubs and sleeping. (Your son is plotting on the daily to steal this poor creature away.)

[gabessquishytum]

Dream's a software developer (I could see either as an architect for that large-scale view mentality or as the Senior level dev that keeps getting asked to move into management type positions and just straight up refuses because he's been doing code happily for the past fifteen years and doesn't plan on changing that now).

He enjoys his job enough. He likes computers and code. It functions exactly as told (for better or worse) and appreciates the straightforwardness of it all. He's a bit insufferable to work with, but if you have an issue, he'll readily help (just be prepares for critiques on your code in the process).

Hob works at the same company as Dream, but as a front-end dev. The work he does for his day job is kinda boring. All standard corporate style web design. No fancy scripts or fun colors. But in his spare time, he weaves Javascript and CSS like a wizard and creates magical, animated scenes across the page. Would it be easier to just make a video and play it on the page instead? Sure, but where's the fun in that?

Dream and Hob get paired together on a small side project for work. Hob does the front-end work, Dream does the back-end. They get on each other's nerves at first, until Dream spots Hob tinkering with his personal code on their lunch break and is honestly a bit in awe. He's found code beautiful in its own right (the way one appreciates a well-oiled machine) but he's never seen it wielded in such a fashion before. This is the moment he falls just a little bit (read: a lotta bit) in love with Hob. He was already starting to fall for that endless charm and wit of his anyways.

The company hits the first quarter of the New Year and with it come layoffs. Hob gets fired along with some other devs from Dream's same team (a younger pair of devs: Matthew and Jessamy). A fellow named Will comes along to help Dream finish the project in Hob's stead and Dream hates every moment of it. He misses Hob, more than he ever thought he would.

So, in an impulsive rush of anger and longing, he quits the company because how dare it toss someone as good as Hob Gadling out the door without a thought? He's halfway to the café he and Hob had started frequenting together when he realizes that he's just thrown away a career fifteen years in the making. But when he finally gets to the café and sees Hob tapping away on his laptop, he knows he's made the right choice.

Dream slides into the seat across from him and proposes that they build something wonderful together. So they create a small business of their own. They become a freelance web dev team (and steal Jessamy and Matthew as well) and with their skills combined, they take off. It's not huge, but for their size, they're incredibly popular. And Dream's certain he's never enjoyed his work more than when he's working beside Hob.

Later on, Hob proposes to Dream via a custom website with the most beautiful web animations he's ever seen before. And of course, he says yes.

(If you're curious about what inspired this, here's the website: http://www.species-in-pieces.com)

This is such a good concept for a story!!! I really really love aus where Dream and Hob are coworkers. Dream being the grumpy, awkward guy who hides behind his coffee mug while Hob is the popular, chatty one who tries to get Dream involved in fun office activities or socialising after work - it makes so much sense to me.

And Dream quitting his long-term dream job because he's mad that genuinely talented people have been laid off? I love it. Dream just has this inate appreciation for hard work and good art, and that's exactly what Hob (and Jessamy and Matthew) do. How dare the stupid company not understand that they're firing people who deserve to thrive and grow in an environment which actually appreciates them? Everyone is shocked that Dream has quit (not only that, he sends around an email to everyone in the company from the ceo all the way down to the work experience guy, outlining exactly why he quit) because he seemed to be the type to play by the rules and never leave his comfort zone. Apparently, Hob has really helped him bloom into a much more confident person, able to express his principles and strive for better.

And Hob isn't surprised, because he always knew that Dream had the courage, talent and ambition to strike out on his own. Maybe he just needed a bit of love and understanding. Which Hob is only too happy to provide.

Their work together sometimes involves long hours and stress, but Dream wouldn't ever want to go back to the slightly soulless corporation where he used to be. Even if he's tired and a little frustrated by Hob’s disorganised workspace, Dream is perfectly content. There's nothing better than curling up in Hob’s lap while he taps away on a line of code. Plus, he has a great time building their wedding website. Hob got to propose, so Dream gets to celebrate their upcoming marriage with his own expression of love through code. The theme colours are, of course, black and red <3

[braindeathaoe]

🌧️Spots of Grey🌧️ (02/04/25)

"Every fiber of your being sings with rejection."

To quickly address the date on this post: Weekly updates have been premeditatively scheduled for a month now, so it won't hurt to use the real dates they've been written. You know to expect them every Monday at 12AM EST.

~How many outcomes should exist?~

It's a question that has loomed over me at every turn, despite the answer being absurdly elementary. The only possibilities that exist are the ones introduced—trying to account for any ideas that haven't yet been conceived is nothing but a waste of time and energy. Still, so many hours of careful thought and experimentation are required to create an end result that I can be proud of. It would be too simple to write up a full script on a whim, add a few choices here and there and then dump a half-assed product on you. This game and I deserve far more than that, as well as you. There's a story inside me that is thrashing, kicking, screaming its wishes to be something special. I'm in love with it so badly, I'm willing to forfeit all of my other dreams to give it the best chance possible.

~What is the correct medium?~

ChoiceScript won't always be the program Brain Death is written in, that's for sure. Twine might be the software I turn to after this build, but with that I'll need to determine which format to use in tandem. Hell, maybe I'll throw caution to the wind and learn 3d modeling. Time will tell, so long as my heart continues to beat and my love keeps blooming. I should hate every moment of this after months of failure, rinsing and switching and repeating the process of writing and deleting and rewriting. Yet somehow each time, I feel a bit closer. I want to breathe life into my characters and create an environment equal parts immersive and interesting; to give the choice to engage in meaningful conversations that fit like a perfect glove. How do you appear, what is your identity, and which parts were you born with? How does the past align with the present? When did the change become visible? Have you changed, or are you the same? You should be seen as you are, treated in accordance with the views of the people around you. How will their mood shape their words? In what ways will they perceive you? Will those perceptions be altered or strengthened with your actions? And what about your own?

~Simultaneously overwhelming and thrilling...~

Only a genius could efficiently figure out the answers to all these questions, while also deciding on the wordings of choices, the outcomes, consequences etc. I'm the furthest thing from a genius. I'm a mentally disabled high-school dropout, whose every project to date has either come out half-baked or scrapped entirely before release. My 24th birthday is coming up in a couple months, too. All in all, these past few days, I've thrown a lot of my work to the abyss and shuffled events to hopefully make transitions more fluid. Currently, Chapter 1 is slated to be called Happy Unity, and will likely be around 10k words when it is complete. Including the Prologue, the first demo will maybe be around 10k to 15k words including code. (Feels weird for it to still be so up in the air after everything, but as I've said in an earlier post, I tried really hard to make the old intro work for a really long time. It didn't reflect my vision well enough.) Act I will be the shortest Act in the game (the 1st of 4), including only the Prologue and Chapter 1. Act II's demo build will possibly be made in Twine. As of now, what's in the game is almost 10k with code, but some text is set to be replaced or taken away completely. (Update 06/04): I've just finished penning a summarized script for Chapter 1—as well as a sheet for a new central character—and while I think there're some minor kinks to be worked out, it looks promising. In just a few days, I'll probably hunker down and begin writing everything down in ChoiceScript. I'd wanted this to be done in July for lore-sake, but if it's done sooner I will upload it then and there. Don't get your hopes up, though.

💧Please, Hydrate.💧

[anomalyaly]

Ominis Gaunt College AU Headcanons

This is my version of Ominis based on a modern college AU I've been working on. It's been a long time since I've graduated college so I'm sorry if this doesn't align with how things currently are. Also, this is based on the American college system. SFW.

Thank you to @morelikeravenbore, @bookie-bookdust, and @butternutt613 for ideas and input!

📗The Gaunts are just as terrible in this universe as any other. Back when they had money, they made a name for themselves in the music industry - no, not pop culture music. I'm talking Europe's finest - opera singers, conductors, world famous instrumentalists. They got there through nepotism and threatening people, and there are rumors that they've done even worse, though no one has been able to prove it. Connections.

📗They wanted Ominis to attend the same conservatory that all of the other Gaunts did before him. Even as the "defect", he could make a name for himself as the blind pianist (and maybe earn them back their money while he was at it).

📗While Ominis has a passion for music, he doesn't want his joy and love for it to be tainted by what they want him to do. The only one who supported his dream was his Aunt Noctua, who died when he was little. She was an opera singer, known for her kind soul, and very talented but never let fame go to her head.

📗In an act of rebellion, instead of attending a conservatory, he estranges himself and leaves for a normal college in America. Through a random roommate assignment, he meets Sebastian Sallow.

📗At first, he's disturbed by the mess, but Sebastian's enthusiasm and acceptance of him without judgment allows him to open up a little bit at a time and eventually the two learn to co-exist.

📗He decides to stay a music major and his dream is to be a choir conductor. As much as he thinks he's freed from the Gaunt elitist mentality, it definitely still shows through when, as part of his classes, he's required to demonstrate his expertise in teaching.

📗He has perfect pitch and has learned to tune a piano just by touch and sound.

📗As much as he wants to teach, he's a major perfectionist and often leaves students in tears if they choose to take private lessons from him.

📗Even so, he has his own little fan club, and Freshmen and Sophomores tend to follow him around for some reason. He has to yell at them to leave him alone (which only makes them fangirl harder and confuses him deeply).

📗He does use a walking stick to get around but he's extremely intuitive to his surroundings. He can tell when Sebastian has left a mess on his side just by walking in the door.

📗As refined as he is, people tend to find him taking naps in various spots around campus - usually on the floor.

📗He's usually not in the room, but he has his designated places around campus "away from prying eyes."

📗As a music student, he has to perform in recitals for credit. People go out of their ways to watch him, as his movements and energy are captivating. He has mixed feelings about it.

📗He has a designated practice room - the one in the corner with the piano perfectly in tune. He signs it out at the same time every day. You better NOT be caught in his practice room or be prepared for him to threaten the hell out of you.

📗Absolutely cannot stand people who say that they're studying music because they "have a passion for it" and then complain that first semester music theory is "too hard" ("If you can't even read music, why are you paying your left kidney to study it? I'm blind and I can read music better than them!").

📗He especially hates people who are extremely talented but cheat their way to the top like his family did. It's his skewed moral code - he may threaten you and scare you into dropping out, but he will never resort to cheating.

📗He does all of his compositions handwritten. The college requires their students to use Finale, but it's such a dated software that he will argue that his creations are far superior to whatever a MIDI keyboard can do. If that doesn't work, he pleads accommodations. His compositions are fantastic anyway (more than fantastic - several professors cried after listening to them), so after a while they stop harping on it.

📗He ends up being offered several scholarships but worries that they're pity awards. He only accepts them after Sebastian manages to convince him to.

📗He overdresses for class because he still has it in his head that he needs to keep up appearances. Unfortunately, it's not something that leaves him even after he leaves his family. He has been mistaken for a professor by other students multiple times because of it.

📗Currently, he is getting his degree in Choral Music, but he wants to go for his Masters in Choral Pedagogy. His primary instrument is piano (which means that by default, his secondary is voice, though he also has experience with many other instruments).

[justforbooks]

Source Code: My Beginnings by Bill Gates

In contrast to the current crop of swaggering tech bros, the Microsoft founder comes across as wry and self-deprecating in this memoir of starting out

Bill Gates is the John McEnroe of the tech world: once a snotty brat whom everyone loved to hate, now grown up into a beloved elder statesman. Former rivals, most notably Apple’s Steve Jobs, have since departed this dimension, while the Gates Foundation, focusing on unsexy but important technologies such as malaria nets, was doing “effective altruism” long before that became a fashionable term among philosophically minded tech bros. Time, then, to look back. In the first of what the author threatens will be a trilogy of memoirs, Gates recounts the first two decades of his life, from his birth in 1955 to the founding of Microsoft and its agreement to supply a version of the Basic programming language to Apple Computer in 1977.

He grows up in a pleasant suburb of Seattle with a lawyer father and a schoolteacher mother. His intellectual development is keyed to an origin scene in which he is fascinated by his grandmother’s skill at card games around the family dining table. The eight-year-old Gates realises that gin rummy and sevens are systems of dynamic data that the player can learn to manipulate.

As he tells it, Gates was a rather disruptive schoolchild, always playing the smart alec and not wanting to try too hard, until he first learned to use a computer terminal under the guidance of an influential maths teacher named Bill Dougall. (I wanted to learn more about this man than Gates supplies in a still extraordinary thumbnail sketch: “He had been a World War II Navy pilot and worked as an aeronautical engineer at Boeing. Somewhere along the way he earned a degree in French Literature from the Sorbonne in Paris on top of graduate degrees in engineering and education.”) Ah, the computer terminal. It is 1968, so the school terminal communicates with a mainframe elsewhere. Soon enough, the 13-year-old Gates has taught it to play noughts and crosses. He is hooked. He befriends another pupil, Paul Allen – who will later introduce him to alcohol and LSD – and together they pore over programming manuals deep into the night. Gates plans a vast simulation war game, but he and his friends get their first taste of writing actually useful software when they are asked to automate class scheduling after their school merges with another. Success with this leads the children, now calling themselves the Lakeside Programming Group, to write a payroll program for local businesses, and later to create software for traffic engineers.

There follows a smooth transition to Harvard, where in the ferment of anti-war campus protests our hero is more interested in the arrival, one day in 1969, of a PDP-10 computer. Gates takes classes in maths but also chemistry and the Greek classics. Realising he doesn’t have it in him to become a pure mathematician, he goes all-in on computers once a new home machine, the Altair, is announced. He and Paul Allen will write its Basic, having decided to call themselves “Micro-Soft”.

The early home computer scene, Gates notes, was a countercultural, hippy thing: cheap computers “represented a triumph of the masses against the monolithic corporations and establishment forces that controlled access to computing”, and so software was widely “shared”, or copied among people for free. It was Gates himself who, notoriously, pushed back against this culture when he found out most users of his Basic weren’t paying for it. By “stealing software”, he wrote in an open letter in 1976, “you prevent good software from being written. Who can afford to do professional work for nothing?” This rubbed a lot of people up the wrong way and still does, at least in the more militant parts of the “open-source” world. But he had a point. And that, readers, is why your Office 365 account just renewed for another year. Fans of Word and Excel, though, will have to wait for subsequent volumes of Gates’s recollections, as will those who want more about his later battles with Apple, though Steve Jobs does get an amusing walk-on part. (Micro-Soft’s general manager keeps a notebook of sales calls, on one page of which we read: “11.15 Steve Jobs calls. Was very rude.”). This volume, still, is more than just a geek’s inventory of early achievements. There is a genuine gratitude for influential mentors, and a wry mood of self-deprecation throughout. Gates gleefully records his first preschool report: “He seemed determined to impress us with his complete lack of concern for any phase of school life.” Later, he explains how he acquired a sudden interest in theatre classes. “Admittedly the main draw for me was the higher percentage of girls in drama. And since the main activity in the class was to read lines to each other, the odds were very good that I’d actually talk to one.” Strikingly, unlike most “self-made” billionaires, Gates emphasises the “unearned privilege” of his upbringing and the peculiar circumstances – “mostly out of my control” – that enabled his career. Adorably, he even admits to still having panic dreams about his university exams. The book’s most touching pages recount how one of his closest friends and colleagues in the programming group, Kent Evans, died in a mountaineering accident when he was 17. “Throughout my life, I have tended to deal with loss by avoiding it,” Gates writes. He says later that if he were growing up today, he would probably be identified as “on the autism spectrum”, and now regrets some of his early behaviour, though “I wouldn’t change the brain I was given for anything”. There is a sense of the writer, older and wiser, trying to redeem the past through understanding it better, a thing that no one has yet seen Elon Musk or Mark Zuckerberg attempt in public. That alone makes Bill Gates a more human tech titan than most of his rivals, past and present.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[dowsil-drinker]

I hateee this post and I keep seeing it all over my dash

Congrats on hating a technology that you only understand through other people's reports of it, I guess?

Being proud of not using it seems to me like being proud of not using excel. Its not exactly the same because excel can't be used as stupidly or clog up the internet with slop, but at the end of the day it's software that's good for some uses and bad for other uses. Taking pride IN not using it usually goes hand in hand with the trend of moralizing *any* use of LLMs and saying that there's never any good use of any generative AI.

Debugging code or figuring out what an error message means is so much easier and less frustrating when you can explain it in natural language, and get a (usually pretty good) answer almost instantly. It sure beats googling it, only to find two stackexchange threads from 2018 saying that it's caused by a bug that was patched in the "most recent" update.

I keep seeing people say that its impossible to use AI in a good way, either because *any* use of it is inevitably rotting your work ethic and critical thinking skills, and/or because you're still actually culpable when other people use it poorly, because you drove up demand for it by a minuscule amount. A similar argument is that any use of AI, no matter how harmless it seems in isolation, is bad actually because it normalizes the use of AI. This is insane. By that logic the mere act of drinking alcohol means you bear some responsibility when other people drink and drive, because drinking alcohol increases its demand and normalises its use, which leads people to do more bad things with alcohol.

And yeah theres a lot of people using AI in stupid and harmful ways, because they don't understand or care about its limitations, and the marketing around it isn't helping. But the root problem here is people being lazy and lacking critical thinking skills, and not stopping to ask whether something is too good to be true. AI enables that, but it doesn't make it happen in the first place.

We should shame bad and lazy uses of AI. I don't want the entire internet to turn to slop, or for people to get credentials and degrees without actually knowing what they're doing. And I sure as shit dont want executive orders written by it . But at this point its not realistic to think that its going to somehow go away if we just shame people hard enough.

[lacesoflovedeactivated]

if ur comfortable answering why are you stopping? pls let us know if you’ll delete the fics

long read! <3

i’d first like to start off by saying, i’m currently unsure if i will be removing/keeping my fics up. I do ask, and would like to stress, that if my fics are taken down that they are not reuploaded. i’d also like to express tremendous gratitude to the love and attention i have received on my writing works. truly i am so grateful and elated over the moon for the support and it is not taken for granted. the reason why i plan, at least, hopefully, for the time being to step away from writing fics is because of something that has plagued me and my writing journey for ages and that is just the simple author’s dilemma of just not thinking your works are good. i used to enjoy writing somewhat, but now it just feels like a chore and something i do not enjoy anymore. i find myself reading my fics, keeping in mind that my community and followers enjoying, and i realised that i hate them. my decision to quit is recent after i found myself re-reading “hurtin’ deeply”, and even after countless revisions and edits i still hate it (which is really funny considering it’s arguably my most popular fic). i went through a manic phase of reading all my other fics and realised i didn’t like any of them. i also found myself increasingly violating my own personal moral code and writer’s integrity by heavily relying more and more on chat gpt and other ai softwares. i think the final straw is when i unconsciously realised i was taking full excerpts from other writers who i adores work to make up for my own subpar writing. there also other factors contributing to me quitting like my mental health taking a severe and drastic nosedive, the ethical issues of writing smut about a person i don’t know etc

so for those, like me, who can’t read:

i just dont enjoy writing anymore lmfao and i hate my writing so i quit but i thank everyone for everything <33

[goldnhourwrites]

heartsteel headcanons 2: jobs

this was inspired by a post (and its comments) by @sils-current-hyperfixations about what jobs the heartsteel gang would have if they weren't making music together!

Yone

I feel like Yone could have gotten himself into some horrible desk job that he hated. I can envision Yone with a 9-to-5 and a closet full of button down shirts and dress pants. Something where you have to send a ton of emails.

I think if he had the patience for it, Yone would do well as a psychiatrist or therapist - a job where he could help people in a meaningful way.

Sett

Sett would enjoy something with physical activity - I think he'd like being a sports coach, athletic trainer, or something along those lines.

He could probably be a professional athlete if he was dedicated enough. His mom would worry about him getting injured, though, so he might settle for just being a coach.

K'Sante

There was a comment on the original post that suggested bartender for K'Sante and I have not been able to get that thought to leave my head.

I also think he'd make a great baker or chef - I think he'd enjoy a creative career, something where he gets to make things while also getting to interact with people.

I think K'Sante could have a little Etsy shop where he does woodworking or pottery or something and it would be cute.

Ezreal

Ezreal loves history. Ezreal loves museums. Ezreal would be some sort of historian, archaeologist, or archivist.

I could also see him as a librarian of some sort - I think he would like working with like classic literature or historical texts/maps/images.

Aphelios

I think Aphelios would enjoy a career in technology. He'd be good at computer science and software development and coding and things like that.

He could be a web developer of some kind, or maybe a game designer. I honestly don't know a whole lot about jobs in the computer science field, so my ideas here are kind of basic, haha.

Kayn

Kayn could be a good tattoo artist or professional piercer, I think. He'd like the creative freedom (and also he'd just think it was cool.)

I could also see him working at a nightclub? Managing the people, working with performers/bands playing shows, etc.

Alune (because I like her)

I don't know how much (if at all) Alune was canonically involved in the production of the Heartsteel music video, but I think Alune would like film production/editing.

I like the idea of Alune with a big professional camera just stealing the rest of the heartsteel gang and being like "OK POSE". I also think she could be interested in fashion and do like fashion photoshoots with everyone.

[heycerulean]

Saw your post about your characters and I'm so intrigued. What's the deal with the organization Teva founded? What's the story with Izo and the bombs? Why did Sio live so long: was it intentional or did that just Happen? And please tell me more about the illegal engineers. I'm so curious.

thank you so much for this ask!!! 1. TEVA + PeDC9A

PeDC9A- which stands for the Pavilic Defense Corps's Department 9, Division A- is a sector / unit / team that deal with department 9 (fieldwork) cases and are signified by the letter A. there's multiple of these groups, ranging from A-ZZ, but they were a newly created thing in 1951; the year a certain Vitatche Teva Vaskenvae was working in a place called PiDC6T, and absolutely hated her job. They asked if she wanted a new opportunity, she said yes, they gave her PeDC9A. She was a competent leader and damn good at keeping people in line, but she was also known for her tendency to not always follow the books; a terrible pick for a new group you want to succeed, but if you're a budget office that just doesn't see the use in foreign espionage and affairs, then it's a great pick to set it up to fail. Except, it doesn't! It does great, actually. Those first 26 teams that were set up (also called "vitatche circles") were some of the best things that ever happened with PeDC's new 9th Department, and set the stage for the later escapades once the great war actually starts. The rest of the main storyline pretty much follows the people in PeDC9A, and how they got there in the first place. 2. IZO AND THEIR BOMBS

Sytze-Vitatche Izota Deltevi, much like her boss- she worked under Teva- was a demolitions expert. Of course, you might ask, why- in a time of piece- does the magic CIA want a demolitions expert on their teams of foreign affairs? They do not need a demolitions expert. Well, it turns out, people who see buildings fall apart for a living are also incredibly talented at seeing how plans, or people, or groups can. At least, Izo was. There were a couple circumstances when she did actually get to blow things up. 3. SIO'S LIFESPAN

More or less, their job. Becoming an actual, sworn in, Pavilic Government Archivist means going through an incredibly intense process that has a decent chance of killing you because, more or less, what it's doing is connecting your blood with things that don't exist. It's a magic thing :) It turns out that being so connected to things that exist without existing like that (the religious trifecta; ghosts, world, gods) makes your own body just... process less. It also means you're less aware of it. She both forgets she needs to eat but can also get away with eating, like, once every couple days. She also lives to like 112. Which, to point out, she actually hates because her wife died of spooky magic lung issues when she was only 53. She wants her wife back. 4. THE ILLEGAL ENGINEERS

I love these two so dearly. They're on PeDC9A staff, under Viridian; Cetz is a CAT (cast-assisted-technology) software engineer, and Teq works with good ol' guns, but they both are. a little reckless with their technology. See, Cetz- through some crazy stuff in their childhood involving rivers, cults, and religious miracles in abandoned temples- is really attached to the Hand of Actions, one of their gods. This leads them to basically developing cybernetic enhancement, except it's less "lazer eyes and super speed" and more "i can hear the computers think and i see and can manipulate code just by looking at something". Which, CAT technology, specifically Beacon Industries brand CAT tech- the brand the government uses, basically an implant in your wrist- is incredibly sensitive. It's illegal to manipulate because it's incredibly dangerous, and unless you're some kind of surgeon, you are not trained on how to mess with it properly. Both Cetz and Teq ignore this. On Teq's side, it's a little less extreme; they (with the help of Cetz) hook their giant handmade magic gun (named Astarcye Ardea) into their CAT system, and this gives it more power and allows them to diagnose the problems within it faster. Eventually, Aetos (their team's medical specialist) finds out, but though he is pissed, he just adjusts for it in their vital records and threatens with leaking the information whenever he has to to make a point. He would never, but he can try to pretend he would (they do not believe him.) Atzia also knows because they walked in on Cetz updating it once and they were covered in blood. That's posted on my ao3! Viridian never finds out. Hopefully that all made sense. It's complicated and it's all been built on top of so much that i don't always remember what i need to go into depth about and what I can leave.

[t-ierrahumeda]

Can I ask about your work experience, like what languages you work with and what kinds of projects you do? What is it that makes you want to take up a trade instead?

Hi! I've been a Java backend developer (mostly, I've done some front end stuff with Angular and Typescript, which I loathe) for 6 years. I've mostly worked in big companies, done contractor work (which I didn't like, WAY too demanding, REALLY long hours) and now I'm in a nondescript company, I took this job bc I was unemployed and I needed an income fast, but I don't like it.

I stress and get frustrated very quickly and there are many things that you have to be updated all the time, you can't just be a 'Java developer', you have to keep learning stuff that is insane and the pace changes all the time. You're surveilled all the time, not just with how many hours you put in, but also how much you use the computer, what programs you use, for how long, etc. It's very micromanaging-oriented. Some might not experience this, but I've always worked with these conditions, though lately even more monitored. I don't like it, makes me feel like I'm not working enough. You get the idea.

Currently I'm looking for a position in a better paid place, but the process of interviews is long and tiring, they can be over 2 hours long where they test your technical knowledge, sometimes with live coding, which makes me very very nervous (I don't like others seeing me coding, I hate it), and 99% of the times the interviewers are smug, sardonic men that will try to make you feel like you're dumb. This doesn't happen to my friends that also are developers, so I think it might be because I'm a female in the field. So there's that too. I'm thinking of changing paths because, even though most people might think this is a cushy job where you can work from home (that's a big plus, I don't complain about that, I love staying at home and I'm not very good at socializing duh I'm a software developer lol), you have to wreck your brain and you work long hours, sometimes up to 10 a day, specially when something breaks or you work in a shitty company, as is the case rn.

I wanna try doing something with my hands, something where I can see the results of my work in real life and that impacts others, and tbh there aren't many women electricians (I personally don't know any), so while it might be hard at first to get a clientele, I think there could be a market for it, bc women might feel safer with a woman in their house instead of a man. I want to try learning how to be a gas fitter and maybe also plumbing, so I can expand my trade and not just be an electrician. I found some 2 year courses at different universities so instead of finishing my degree in Software Engineering I'll go for that.

Hope that helps!