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ppersonna · 3 years

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out of my league - knj | 01

you were out of my league. got my heartbeat racing. if i die, don't wake me, cause you are more than just a dream - out of my league, fitz and the tantrums

✹ summary- Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out about your years-long hopeless crush on him. And he most definitely was not supposed to find out about it in front of all your coworkers in a company-wide meeting.

✹ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

✹ pairing- kim namjoon x reader

✹ word count- 6.6k

✹ genre- angst, smut, comedy

✹ chapter warnings- swearing, descriptions of sex, sexual content, namjoon being a sexy flirt, jungkook being a himbo, awkward conversations, jimin being a protective bff

✹ a/n- hello and welcome to this fic thats lived in my google docs for almost a year now. without @ladyartemesia @xjoonchildx @untaemedqueen and @chimoona, i would never have posted it. i truly owe so much of my brainstorming and creativity to their incredible brains and thoughts and ideas. i love them very much! i hope you enjoy this first chapter! please feel free to message me, talk to me abt anything!! im always here to chat. ILY!

MASTERLIST

Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out this way.

You planned to confess your undying, unerring love for your coworker at a better time, a classier place. You would wear a dress that highlighted your features, hair cascading down your back, makeup done to perfection and spritzed with expensive perfume. You’d confess, he’d confess right back, and you’d live happily ever after.

You’d also dreamt that Kim Namjoon would have the slightest inkling of who you are before he finds out about your year long crush. He might know you as the mousy girl in the office who doesn’t talk and doesn’t contribute much other than some crunched numbers and apparently the best coffee brewer in the office. But you’d prefer he knows you well—your favorite colors and movies and foods, what makes you happy and sad; things future husbands should know.

You very much did not think it would happen in a company wide conference, full of over five hundred suit-wearing executives. You did not think it would be done by the office bully, Chungha, who carefully takes over the mic and speaks the words clearly as she presents awards of recognition.

“Congratulations to Kim Namjoon for 5 years with the company, over $4 million in revenue, and the object of ____’s lust and affection. I’m sure you two will have the happy life she’s written in her journal about. Make sure you celebrate with her today!”

The room is silent, so silent you could have heard a pin drop from a mile away. Your face is cherry red and you wish the earth would open up and swallow you whole. Your heart feels like someone has ripped it in half and you stare in horror at the girl smirking at the front. Is this what it feels like to be backstabbed? Namjoon looks perplexed—confusion written on his face as he gestures around to no one in particular like he’s saying ‘what the fuck was that?’

Awkward coughing and clapping begins and Namjoon stands to receive his award, a fine wooden fountain pen, and chances a glance around the room. He easily spots you, with your wide, frightened face. His look remains passive, not hinting what he’s thinking behind those stormy eyes, before he turns and sits back down at the table with his buddies from his department.

You seriously contemplate quitting your job. You could find a new one easily, right? Just stand up and tell your boss you quit and you’re out of there before Namjoon ever sees you again and you’ll never have to face the mean girl who’s ratting you out.

As much as the idea rolls through your head, you know you won’t do it. You love your job, love the security and finances it provides you, and you love to look at Kim Namjoon, all day every day.

You don’t understand where things went wrong.

( one month ago )

It’s 9:03 am. You finish brewing the coffee in the small staff kitchen and sigh at the aroma of the freshly ground beans. Coffee is your favorite meal, favorite time of day, favorite snack, and preferred beverage. You drink it constantly. You’re known as “coffee girl” at work, mostly because no one really bothers to get to know you beyond that. You drink coffee like it’s a devoted religion. You could drink a cup right before bed and still sleep like a baby. It was, put simply, your drink.

The office workers deem you to be the one to make the pots of coffee every morning, claiming you were the ‘best’. You didn’t mind—you preferred to make your own coffee regardless—but you believe your coworkers are trying to pass off the twenty-minute job to someone lower in the office hierarchy. And you were one step above the interns.

The coffee machine chimes to let you know it’s hot, and it’s ready for you. You eagerly pour a mug, a large one, and smile as the waft of freshly ground beans (by you, of course) fills your senses.

You nearly knock the cup out of your hand as Kim Namjoon strolls into the office, eyes set on the coffee.

You feel your throat swell up, like he’s an allergen and you’re caught without an epi-pen. Butterflies swirl in your stomach and you can’t stop staring at him. He pays you no mind, tired yet determined to pour a cup of coffee and get back to his office.

You stand in the small kitchen, clutching your coffee like a lifeline, and pray to god you don’t do something stupid.

Namjoon pours his mug, and you watch his muscular hands grip the coffee pot. He pours a hefty amount of cream and sugar into his cup—it appears even perfect male specimens have their faults.

Your eyes dance on his face before they tango down his body. You wonder what he looks like in the morning, crawling out of bed with mussed hair and a sleepy smile painted on his face. He’d look at you and tell you you’re the most beautiful girl and kiss you deeply despite morning breath. Maybe he’d take you to the shower to press you against the tile as he fuc-

“Oh!” it startles Namjoon to see you, and the coffee in his hand swishes violently. “Didn’t see you there. Sorry!”

Your heart melts. He’s the picture of kindness and politeness. You recognize it’s been a few seconds and you still haven’t replied.

“It’s fine!”

“Great coffee, by the way,” he smiles. His teeth nearly knock you out cold with their brilliance. “Have a good day.”

He turns and exits the room without so much as a glance back at you. Your knees feel weak.

Kim Namjoon talked to you. He complimented you. He told you to have a good day. It’s the best and most significant conversation you’ve had with your secret crush.

You definitely file that away for another day when you need to reminisce on his compliment, and you scurry out of the kitchen towards your desk.

Park Jimin is waiting dutifully at your desk when you arrive, a smug smile still slapped over your features as you sip at your coffee. Namjoon spoke to you today—how lovely.

Jimin quirks an eyebrow.

“What’s got you so perky this morning?”

You’re normally quiet and passive, avoiding eye contact or any semblance of emotion on your face.

You look up at the blonde bespectacled boy. Park Jimin is the closest thing to a best friend in the company. He’s who you spend time with at lunch, see on weekends, and text often. You suppose he’s the closest thing to a best friend you have in your entire life.

You send him a smirk and lean in close to whisper. “Namjoon said hi to me today!”

Jimin sends you a pitiful look and pats your shoulder. Your best friend is well aware of your secret crush and while he thinks Namjoon is a nice guy, he thinks your crush is a little hopeless. He’s the most popular guy in the office, often has dates lined up every weekend. Jimin hears the way he and his friends talk in the break room. The man is definitely not hurting for female attention.

“Oh, honey,” he sighs, unenthusiastically. “That’s great.” He can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness over how excited you’re getting from a simple ‘hello’ from a coworker.

“I know, right? Anyway, lunch today?” You ask as you settle down into your cubicle.

Jimin pushes his glasses up his face and nods. “Of course! That’s why I came by this morning. I wanted to let you know that Jungkook from marketing will join us.”

You make a face, disgust etched in the lines creasing your forehead.

“Why?”

Jungkook is well known in the company. He’s a loudmouth, a player, a clown, and everyone’s favorite comedian. He’s just not your favorite.

“Don’t be rude,” Jimin admonishes at your grimace. “He asked to join and well—he’s cute. I can’t say no to him.”

“Oh Christ, Jimin,” you groan. “Not you too! Don’t tell me you have the hots for the serial fuckboy?”

He blushes lightly and shrugs. “Maybe I do! Be nice to him today or I’ll eat all your chocolate ice cream I know you have at home.”

You stick your tongue out, petulantly. “Fine, now let me get to work or else Seokjin will be up my ass.”

Jimin smiles and kisses your cheek before he scurries away, back to human resources.

It feels as if barely any time has passed. You’re working hard, running calculations and updating spreadsheets. You have an eye for numbers, and losing yourself in an equation is just another day for you. You’re shaken from your cheerful place by a vibration from your phone, and a text alert popping on the lit screen.

jimin 12:01 pm- it’s lunchtime!! you better get your butt out here!

You smile and text back an affirmative reply, then move to grab your lunch from the company fridge. Gliding down the steps leading to the fresh outdoors, you meet Jimin at the lunch tables in the grass.

Jimin is sitting with Jungkook. You can recognize your best friend by his hair and glasses, and Jungkook by his obnoxious laughter.

“Hi,” you murmur as you sit down and open up the brown bag lunch you’ve brought.

“Hi!” Jimin is excited to see you, and just a pinch over eager to be sitting next to Jungkook.

“You know Jungkook, right?” Jimin asks, a harsh look in his eyes that reminds you to be on your best behavior.

You nod as you pull out a bag of grapes. “Oh, yeah, hey,” you smile. “I’ve seen you around.”

Jungkook delivers you a signature smirk and you feel yourself roll your eyes internally. “Yeah, you’re Coffee Girl, right?”

You pout and glare down at your brown bag lunch. Will you ever become more than just Coffee Girl?

“Yeah, I suppose that’s me.”

Jimin clears his throat to dismiss any awkwardness.

“So, Jungkook, I hear you like working out? ___ likes to work out too. She drags me to the gym sometimes. Maybe we could all meet up sometime?” You don’t miss the hopeful lilt in his voice. Jungkook does.

“Oh, yeah?” He narrows a sexy look at you, rather—a look he thinks is sexy that you find off-putting. “What do you do at the gym? Little cardio sets with 5 pound weights?”

What an asshole.

“Sometimes,” you state as you take a bite of the homemade salad you handcrafted last night. “Most of the time I’m lifting heavy. I can bench 275 and deadlift 300.”

Jungkook looks taken back. “What, really?” He sounds breathless. “You lift more than Namjoon-hyung.”

At the sound of the love of your life’s name, you pause. Your face heats quickly and Jungkook smirks. Of course, he recognizes this and not Jimin’s obvious flirting.

“Why are you blushing?” He asks. “Did I say something?”

You’re quick to dismiss things. “Um--no. I just um,” you’re grasping at straws. “I’m hot.”

Jimin is trying not to laugh, hiding his mouth behind a petite hand.

Jungkook tilts his head. “It’s not even sunny today.”

You gulp. “Yeah, I must be hot. With a fever. M-malaria… probably.”

Jungkook snorts.

“You have malaria? Bummer.” He picks at his nails. “I thought for a moment you had a thing for Namjoon.”

“No!” The retort is quick, too quick for normal conversation, and it gives you away.

“Aha!” Jungkook points an accusing finger at you. “You have the hots for him, don’t you?”

Your features melt, and Jimin tries to assuage the situation. “Jungkook, please don’t tell anyone,” he pleads.

Jungkook smiles at you. “That’s so cute. It’s like a little nerdy freshman crushing on the senior class president.”

You bury your head in your hands, suddenly unable to stomach any food.

“Jungkook,” Jimin’s tone becomes more firm, authoritative. “I’m asking you this as a friend. Please, don’t say anything.”

Jungkook holds his hands up to prove his innocence and waves his proverbial white flag.

“Secret is safe with me,” he promises. “But it’s cute. I know him really well, you know. I could try to hook you two up.”

You blanch, unsure if you want Jungkook saying anything about you to the man of your dreams.

“I’m good, but thanks,” you offer meekly. “I’m not feeling well. I’m going to head back to work, okay?”

Jimin frowns, knowing you’re feeling like a cornered animal, and nods. “Feel better, babe,” he sighs.

Jungkook watches as you leave and turns to Jimin. “Man, he’s way out of her league.”

Jimin slaps the boy in the chest. “Be nice, asshole, that’s my best friend.”

Jungkook promises to be nice, and Jimin is blissfully unaware that others are listening and that the man beside him is easy to persuade.

( present day )

The company-wide meeting adjourns soon after what is likely to be the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever lived through.

You’re grabbing at your things and trying to run out of the room, desperate to get out before anyone sees you or talks to you or laughs at you.

A hand grabs at the coattails of your suit jacket and you’re pulled backwards with a yelp. You turn to seek your captor and find the concerned face of your best friend, Jimin.

“Are you okay? What the fuck just happened?”

Jimin’s concern makes it all real. Until now you could pretend you were in a fugue state, totally dissociated from reality. Now, you realize that everyone in the entire company is aware of your crush on Kim Namjoon.

You can feel your bottom lip wobble, tears threatening to spill. Jimin murmurs an ‘oh shit’ and drags you out of the large room and into the nearest bathroom. He pushes you to sit against the sink and passes you toilet paper to dab at your eyes.

“I don’t know how she found out!” you cry. “God, I feel so stupid and embarrassed.”

It incenses Jimin. He’s holding it back to ensure you’re okay, but in reality, it’s an HR nightmare waiting to happen. He’ll find who did it and punish them accordingly.

They will suffer.

“It’s okay, babe,” he pulls you into a hug. “Everyone will forget about it soon. They’ll think it’s just a lame office joke, okay?”

You nod, feeling the slightest bit comforted by his words.

“How could she find out, Jiminie?” You ask with a sniffle. “You’re the only person who knows.”

Jimin sighs and shakes his head.

“I don’t know, but they’re dead. I haven’t told any-... oh, my god,” Jimin stops suddenly. You look up at him to catch what he’s thinking.

He growls and balls his fists.

“Jungkook knew.”

You let out a sob and bawl your eyes out into the tissue you’re holding. Jimin holds you tighter while he conjures up a hundred different ways to hurt someone and make it look like an accident.

“Don’t worry,” Jimin sighs, trying to comfort both you and himself. “I’m HR. I have to handle this. I’ll make sure they get what they deserve.”

You feel a sting of pain for Jimin. He’s been hopelessly doting on the man who spilled the beans for a few months now, even got to take him on a few dates. It was still nothing serious, but Jimin was clearly smitten.

“I’m sorry you have to do that, Chim,” you whisper. “I know how you feel about him.”

“Yeah, well,” he swallows thickly. “You’re more important than any asshole.”

Jimin holds you tight for a few minutes longer, before you clean yourself up and steel yourself. Ignore everyone, Jimin encourages. Just get to work, he says. Then you can go home and we’ll drink wine and forget about it all, he promises.

You replay his words in his head like a prayer as you walk down the corridors and towards your office. Everyone in the hallways stops to stare at you. They lean towards their friends and whisper. You hear snippets of their gossip, like “Namjoon” and “out of her league”. It drives the sharp blade lodged in your chest even further. It threatens to collapse your lungs and break your ribs.

You make it to your desk safe and sound and bury yourself in work and forcibly ignore the gawking and the stares.

Just make it home. Just get through the day. You’re almost there.

You could do this.

You nearly make it the entire day before running into the one person you didn’t want to see, Kim Namjoon.

At the end of the day, you’re taking the stairs down to the parking garage instead of the elevator. The elevator is too busy, too many people, and you’re trying to avoid the stares and giggles at your expense. The stairs are always deserted and you figure it’s your safest bet.

You can nearly hear the wine calling your name at home. A delicate glass of Sauvignon Blanc and some chocolate ice cream and a good cry—it sounds like the best and only way to unwind after the worst day you’ve ever had in your life.

The chanting of your name gets louder and you wonder if you’ve finally lost your mind—if you’re actually hearing your wine bottles all the way at home talking to you.

No, wait. The voice is real, and coming from behind you. You turn around to face who’s calling you and nearly faint at the sight.

Kim Namjoon stands on the landing above you, one strip of stairs between you.

“Hey!” He seems glad he’s caught you. “I’ve been calling your name for a minute.”

You swallow and search for an answer.

“Sorry, I’m-.. I guess I’m just a little out of it today.”

Namjoon grimaces.

“Yeah, about that…” he begins as he takes the steps down to be on equal ground as you. Your heart is spinning wildly. He’s so close to you. He’s talking to you. On any other day you’d be erupting towards the sky like a firework. But today isn’t any other day.

“I feel like I should apologize,” he states. “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t plan it or anything.”

Damn him and his kindness. Damn him and his cute, awkward smile.

“No, no,” you assure. “I know you didn’t. You don’t have to apologize.”

It’s hard to make eye contact with the man. You want to, know it’s important in intense conversations like this, but the thought of him seeing you—really seeing you makes you ache inside.

“It was a really shitty prank,” he begins. “I’m sure you don’t even know who I am, let alone have a crush on me.”

For the millionth time that day, your face heats to a near boil. You stammer and you’re sure you’ve blown any chance at even thinking about a date with Namjoon.

“Oh, uh, right,” you seek an answer, beg your brain to pick something to say that doesn’t make you sound stupid. “I do.”

“You do what?” He’s confused and you widen your eyes at what just left your mouth.

“I do know you! I mean, I do have a crush on you! Oh, fuck,” you shove your face into your hands. “Please, ignore that. I need to go. Sorry!” You don’t give him a chance to reply, you book it out of the stairway as fast as your heels will take you.

Today was the worst day you’ve suffered through in your life.

The next few days aren’t much better.

Not only are you “coffee girl”, you’re now also sarcastically called “Namjoon’s girl”. As much as you hate your initial title, you’d prefer it to the new one they throw at you as you walk by.

Jimin rats out Jungkook and Chungha to the bosses. They get two weeks probation and they have to write you apology letters if they wish to keep their permanent files clean of any reprimands. It’s a slap on the wrist, and everyone involved knows it. Jimin is furious and wants the boss to reconsider. You tell him not to push it. You’d rather this be over and everyone to forget it even happened. Jimin unwillingly agrees.

You’re working at your desk, earphones shoved in your ears to diffuse the gossip in the room, when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn and are greeted with the face of Judas Iscariot himself, Jeon Jungkook.

“Hi,” he sounds sheepish, cheeks reddening.

You narrow your eyes at him, sharper than steel. “What the fuck do you want?”

He winces, knowing he deserved that. “Well, I just wanted to apologize. I know they told me to write you a letter, but it seems too impersonal…”.

You can’t believe Jungkook is sucking his ego up and actually coming to you to apologize. You thought he’d for sure be the one to cop out and send a shitty letter.

He continues.

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry that all went down. I didn’t mean to tell her. She got me drunk and said she saw me eating lunch with you and Jimin. I think she was jealous or something and it slipped out. I know that’s not an excuse. I fucked up your trust and Jimin’s trust. But I just wanted you to know I didn’t do it to be an asshole. She sort of duped me.”

You pause as you take in the man’s apology. He didn’t have to come to you in person. He could have easily taken the shitty route and half-assed a letter to you. But he didn't, and he owned up to his mistake. God dammit.

“I appreciate your apology, Jungkook,” you sigh and you see his body visibly relax. “I’m still mad, but I guess the anger is at her for doing it in the first place. I’m sorry she tricked you.”

He breathes a sigh of relief and kneels down beside you. “I’m really happy you believe me. I was worried you were going to kick me in the nuts.

“I won’t lie, I thought about it.”

He smiles with you, and you feel like this is the restart of a friendship. “I definitely deserved it.”

You shrug and smile. “Jimin would kill me for hurting you. He might even kill me for thinking about hurting you.”

Jungkook’s smile drops at the name of your best friend. Yikes. Looks like there’s still trouble in paradise.

“I think you’d be in similar company with Jimin right now. He’s not speaking to me.”

You let out a breath through your nose. “Yeah, he’s a little protective of me.”

“For good reason,” he admits. “You’re like a cute little flower. A cute nerdy flower.”

“Jungkook,” you warn. “I just forgave you after I was humiliated in front of the entire company. I’d be careful with calling me nerdy right now.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

It’s hard to stay mad at the boy, no matter how much you dislike his reputation around the office. The fact that he humbled himself enough to seek you out and apologize is proof enough to you of his character.

“It’s okay, Jungkook. I forgive you,” you smile. “Thank you for apologizing.”

He rubs the back of his neck anxiously as his cheeks flare red.

“Yeah, it felt pretty shitty to just… do anything else. Plus, you seem really cool.”

“You seem great, too, Jungkook.”

He smiles and pulls you in for a hug, catching you off guard. For the fuckboy type, he’s surprisingly sensitive and soft. You like that about him.

“I’ll see you around, okay?” He says as he pulls away from you.

“Maybe you should apologize to Jimin, too?”

His smile drops, but he nods anyway. “Yeah, maybe I’ll go find him now.”

“Good luck,” you offer with a pat on his shoulder.

With a sad smile, he turns and heads down the hallway towards the HR department. You pray Jimin shows mercy to the handsome boy.

A few weeks go by, and you’re sure that everyone has forgotten about you and your most embarrassing moment to date. You make the coffee, you calculate the numbers, everyone ignores you. Things return to relative normalcy.

Until it doesn't. The moment you think you're safe is the moment your guard comes down and everything falls apart around you.

It's when you're in the staff kitchen, grinding fresh beans to brew a second pot of coffee, that it happens.

The kitchen is fuller than usual. You normally try to wait until the lunchtime crowd dwindles and leaves to make your second pot, but you're so desperate for the caffeine that you can't find it in you to care.

You trudge into the kitchen with your handy coffee mug clutched in your tired hands and head towards the cupboards to grind up the beans.

There's a few groups of coworkers lingering in the room, and as your grinder whirs the beans around into a powder, you chance a look around to see who's among the crowd.

Your eyes flick immediately to where a hearty laugh erupts. It makes your heart still in your throat. Namjoon sits with his usual crowd of friends, hand gripping a homemade sandwich while the other assists him in telling his story to his friends. He pays you no mind—why would he?—and you can't help but stare at the way his dark brown hair lays perfectly against his forehead, and his eyes crinkle so cutely at the edges when he smiles.

You nearly forget about the coffee grounds—you're snapped out of your Namjoon-induced trance when suddenly a woman's laugh echoes around the room.

"Look at her," the voice states.

You peer up and see a girl you vaguely recognize. Is she from Marketing? Or perhaps Sales? You’re not sure, but she’s staring at you with a sneer.

“She’s so weirdly obsessed with Namjoon. It’s so creepy.”

Your face turns cherry red and you’re sure your lungs stop functioning. The air your body needs to breathe freezes and your chest aches.

Namjoon turns to look at the girl before he looks and sees you grasping your coffee grounds tightly.

“Chungha was right—it’s so weird. Namjoon, you should talk to HR about this!”

Namjoon turns back to the gossiping coworker and frowns. “Can you leave it alone? She wasn’t even doing anything.”

The girl huffs and crosses her arms over her chest and looks back at Namjoon.

“How can you stand to be in the same room as her? She clearly thinks she has a chance with you.”

Her words come out like a bite. She punctuates her point with a harsh laugh and the group around her mumbles and chuckles in agreement.

You’re desperately grabbing at anything you can, wanting to leave as quickly as possible before you’re embarrassed further.

“Well, she does!” Namjoon replies loudly, annoyance written in his features. “I was actually going to ask her to dinner this weekend in private, but since everyone is so fucking interested in my love life, I have to do it publicly.”

The room falls silent, and your favorite mug falls out from your hands and shatters on the floor. All sets of eyes stare at you while yours widen with disbelief—you don't even care that you’re standing in a pool of old coffee and shattered ceramic.

Namjoon stands and heads over to you, bending down to pick up the shards of your coffee mug. You take a few stunted breaths to kneel and help.

His eyes peer into yours. They’re warm—a chocolate brown color that makes you feel safe.

“What do you say?” He asks with a smile so gentle it nearly breaks your heart. “Will you let me take you out this weekend?”

You’re gaping like a fish and the surrounding room is silent—bated breath waiting for your reply.

“Yes, I would l-love that.”

His smile turns even brighter, and he stands to throw the broken mug away.

“I’ll email you the details, okay?”

Your head nods dumbly without thinking. His eyes sparkle as he smiles at you, and he extends his hand down to you to assist you off the floor. As your hand slips into his, you can’t help but feel how soft and strong he feels. You wonder what his hand would feel like caressing your face, smoothing down the expanse of your bare back, running down the length of your body.

The thoughts shake out of you as he winks and kisses your hand gently, causing the gossiping coworker to grunt her disapproval and for murmurs of shock to echo around the room.

“I’ll talk to you later, doll.” Namjoon winks at you before he grabs his sandwich and leaves the room, gesturing to his crew to follow along.

The place on your hand felt warm where his lips once lingered. You no longer cared about the angry glares from the rest of your coworkers. Your heart beats wildly in your chest, and you leave the kitchen nearly floating on cloud nine.

Email from: Kim Namjoon

Sent: 3:06 pm

Subject: Hey good lookin ;)

Hey!

Just wanted to see how you are! I’m sorry about what happened at lunchtime. That was super petty and uncalled for. I really wanted to ask you out, and I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much by doing it in front of everyone.

I was wondering if you’d like to go out this Friday night after work? Say around 7? If you send me your address, I’ll pick you up.

Let me know!

Xoxo, Joon

You’re sure if you weren’t sitting in your tiny cubicle, you’d be screaming your lungs out.

The second the notification of the email came through, direct from the man of your desires himself, your body froze.

You re-read the message, over and over and over.

The winky emoji, the xoxo, the nickname ‘joon’. It’s all so much and makes the grin on your face threaten to split your lips in half.

Your fingers press the “FWD” button and you quickly send the message to Jimin, before you stand demurely, attempting to give off an air of professional confidence. You need to talk to Jimin, now.

As soon as you’re out of the eyesight of suspicious coworkers, you bolt down the hallway towards Human Resources. Your high heels click loudly on the tiled floor, but the sound doesn’t even register in your mind. All you can think about is Namjoon, the email, the press of his lips on your hand, the way his smile made you feel as if you could fly.

The door to HR swings open with your tight grip around the doorknob, and you open your mouth to call to Jimin, the lone employee, when you’re startled by the sight ahead of you.

Jimin sits on the edge of his expansive desk with his arms thrown around Jungkook’s neck and is clearly engaged in a deep, sensual kiss. At the sound of the door opening, they quickly break apart, with matching cherry red blushes on their cheeks and mused hair.

“Oh, shit,” you gasp.

The men are silent and you can’t help but giggle after a moment passes. “I’ll take it you two made up?”

Jungkook flashes you a dopey grin, one that gives you an answer, while Jimin smirks haughtily.

“Jungkook and I were just discussing, umm… his 401k.”

Jungkook looks at the blonde boy for a moment, confused, before he gets it. “Yeah! Totally. Retirement. Love to t-talk about it?”

You laugh out loud and walk towards the couple.

“I’m sure it was a titillating discussion,” you tease. “I have good news though, if it’s okay to interrupt this retirement planning session.”

Jimin nods and Jungkook rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly. “I guess I should leave?”

“It’s okay,” you smile. “I trust you.”

Jungkook smiles as if he’s just won the lottery. He looks between you and Jimin, face pure and excited like a puppy.

“What’s up?” Jimin asks as he moves to sit down at his desk.

“I forwarded you an email. Read it.”

Jimin nods and logs on to his posh computer, scrolling and clicking before narrowing his eyes and reading.

“Oh, my god.” Jimin’s face is shocked—it's written all over his features. “Namjoon asked you out?!”

Jungkook’s child-like grin turns into one of shock himself. He runs around to stand behind Jimin, eyes seeking over the words of the email.

“Well, hot damn,” Jungkook whistles. “He asked her out.”

Jimin exchanges a look with Jungkook, one that you’re not sure you can read. It quickly slips your mind, however, as you’re more focused on the task at hand.

“Can you come over tonight after work and help me pick out something to wear?” You ask excitedly.

Jimin smiles at you, a touch of sadness in his eyes, before he nods.

“Of course, babe,” he assures. “We’ll make sure you look nice and hot for the date with Mr. Kim.”

“Thank you!” You squeal as you wrap your arms around your best friend. He hugs you back before you scurry out of the office and back to your cubicle, itching to reply to the message.

Jimin sighs as the door to his office closes behind you.

“Kook, please don’t tell me he’s going to break her heart. He’s asking her out to make himself feel better about this, isn’t he?”

Jungkook slips his hand into Jimin’s and squeezes.

“I’ll find out, baby.”

Jimin smiles and nods appreciatively at the boy, before leaning up and kissing him.

Jungkook smiles against his lips, and is determined to ensure the young HR specialist never hates him again, even if he has to go behind his hyung’s back to ensure his new boyfriend’s happiness.

Jungkook has one mission now, and that’s ensuring Namjoon takes you on the greatest date known to man.

He grills Jimin with questions about what you like over dinner one night. Jimin finds it endearing that Jungkook is so eager to rectify his mistakes, but he still can’t help but worry that Namjoon is doing this to save face—not because he actually likes you.

“So, what does she like doing?” Jungkook asks as he spins his pasta around his chopsticks idly.

Jimin smiles as he takes a bite of the ramen Jungkook has thoughtfully prepared for their stay-at-home date.

“I’ve told you already! She’s easy to figure out.” Jimin pats Jungkook’s hand gently. “She loves cooking and baking, working out, daydreaming about Namjoon.”

“Cooking, hm,” Jungkook looks thoughtful as he takes a bite. “I think Namjoon can work with that. I’ll let him know!”

Jimin tries to hide the anxiety brewing in his stomach. He’s had to plaster on a fake smile for you while you tried on different outfits, wondering which will be the one to finally convince Namjoon he is the one for you. It’s hard to fake it around his boyfriend, too—but something tugs in his stomach that flares the cynical side of him.

Namjoon went from not knowing of your existence, to watching you get publicly embarrassed in a matter of minutes. While Namjoon isn’t a terrible guy, Jimin knows he doesn’t like anything to tarnish the gentleman reputation he’s built in the office. And as much as Jimin likes him, and surely likes his friend Jungkook, he can’t help but feel skeptical.

Jungkook hurriedly pulls out his phone and types away, letting his elder friend know of what he’s found out. Jimin swallows his food, and his pride, and hopes to god his growing cynicism is wrong.

Friday comes slower than you’d like. You wake up every day during the week, one day closer, and your eagerness hits peak levels. Namjoon sees you in the hallways during the week and winks at you, hands shoved in his tight slacks that make you salivate.

He emails you again Thursday afternoon, confirming things and getting your address. You reply in nanoseconds, uncaring how overeager you come off.

By the time your alarm clock rings on Friday morning, you’ve already been awake for 4 hours.

All you can do is daydream about the date, the way his hand fits into yours, the warmth of his eyes when he smiles at you.

It’s what fuels you through work.

You hope to god the numbers you’re attempting to work during the day come out right, because your mind is elsewhere for more than most of the day. There isn’t enough coffee in the world, but also your body feels as if you’ve overdosed on caffeine already.

The clock eeks towards 5:00 pm and you’re bolting out the door at 4:56 to head home and get ready for your date.

Jimin attempts to meet you before you leave, but your desk is cold and empty by the time he gets there.

He sighs and heads back towards his office to gather his things, waving bye to various coworkers as they file out of the corporate building.

He turns the corner towards his office but stops in his tracks as he sees Namjoon’s back to him, phone pressed to his ear.

“Baby, I’ll come over later tonight, okay?” Namjoon speaks into the phone.

Jimin feels his heart fall into the pit of his stomach. He retreats and hides behind a wall, ear carefully peeled to listen to the tall man’s conversation.

“I’m going on this date with that chick from work,” he sighs. “It won’t last more than a few hours. Poor girl has a crush on me and you know the usual assholes won’t leave her alone.”

Jimin bites his lip and clenches his fist. Namjoon thinks he means well, but he knows his suspicions have been confirmed, and he’s torn inside. He wants to tell you, to warn you not to get too invested in the man, but he also has no interest in popping the bubble you’ve been in since the day he asked you out.

Jimin lets it simmer for now. He decides he’ll monitor Namjoon and cut things off if it appears the man strings you along for fun.

Namjoon finishes his phone call with a promise to see whoever is on the other end of the phone later that night, and Jimin quickly pulls out his phone and fakes a conversation with no one when he hears the man approach.

“Oh, Kookie,” Jimin giggles, leaning against the wall casually. “I can’t wait to see you tonight, either, babe.”

Namjoon walks towards Jimin and makes eye contact with the HR specialist.

“Bye, Kook! See you tonight, baby.” Jimin finishes up the fake phone call as Namjoon arrives next to him, and he plasters on his best fake smile.

“Congrats on you and Jungkook,” he speaks sincerely.

Jimin hates how nice he is, hates that he’s a nice guy who gets too wrapped up in his own good looks and reputation.

“Thanks, Namjoon,” Jimin smiles uneasily. “You too! Have fun on your date tonight.”

Namjoon’s face lights up and Jimin desperately wishes he could go back in time to 30 seconds ago, before he heard the conversation, and believe that Namjoon truly wanted to date you.

“Thanks, should be fun, huh?” He winks and nudges Jimin, before he waves a goodbye and continues out the door.

Jimin pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials the number of his boyfriend.

“Hey, baby. We’ve got a problem.”

tag list! - @jimidol @aretha170 @dearbambideer

#kim namjoon smut #kim namjoon #bts smut #bts fics #namjoon smut #out of my league #knj #knj smut #rap monster smut #JOOOOOOOOOONie

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daenqyu · 3 years

Note

Okay so Todoroki is insecure abt his scar right,,, so how about a drabble with Todoroki where he's been struggling extra hard with his confidence when it comes to his appearance lately,,, and his gn! S/o notices and spends an entire day just complimenting him, loving on him, just trying their best to let him know that they think he's amazing in every way 🥺🥺🥺 and that he's gorgeous

beautiful boy — todoroki shouto

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to its rightful owner )

pairing: todoroki x fem!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: making out lol

word count: 1.5k

a/n: the fact i was already thinking about writing something like this and then you requested it ahhh, thank you so much anon! <3 i also wrote this with a fem!reader since that’s the style of writing i’m most experienced with.

TODOROKI’S hair feels soft against your fingertips as you gently massage his scalp, something you know calms him down. and it’s no different this time. he hums from his position on your chest, his arms wrapped around your waist to pull you close to him, content with the way you were holding him, yet his mind raced with millions of thoughts. he wasn’t one to care for looks, other’s or his, but his scar was something that always bothered him. it was a constant reminder of how terrible his childhood was, of how he was deprived from enjoying the things a normal child should; a reminder of all the pain that scumbag had caused to not only him, but his whole family as well.

and he knew you loved him, he knew you were completely and utterly in love with him, but sometimes he wondered if you really found him attractive. it was stupid. he shouldn’t worry about something as superficial as looks, especially since he knew that beauty was relative, but he did. usually he kept his emotions in check and didn’t show his insecurities or let them affect his daily life, after all, the least he wanted was to unnecessarily worry you. however, you were his girlfriend and you knew him better than anyone else, so it was no surprise you saw right through his act.

he wasn’t obvious, his actions could even be mistaken as meaningless, but you noticed. it was the way he wouldn’t look at you for too long, afraid you’d see him the way he sees himself. it was the way he hid his face in your neck whenever you two cuddled or simply hugged. and it hurt you. because he was so incredibly beautiful, in every sense of the word. not only was he smart and a perfect gentleman, treating you with the utmost respect you deserved, but he was also the most attractive person you’d ever seen. you understood how he felt, having your own fair amount of insecurities, and while his feelings were completely valid, you couldn’t just stand there and watch the love of your life think he wasn’t good enough.

you didn’t want to call him out and possibly make him feel worse, so you decided the best way to approach him was to be subtle about it. in school, you made sure to hold his hand whenever you had the chance and give him kisses when no one was looking, then when you were both training, you complimented his technique and let him know he was getting better at controlling his left side. that made him smile, a genuine smile that made your heart race excitedly. now you found yourself laying in his bed, hugging todoroki to your chest as one of your legs draped over his waist.

it was a tiring day for him and his mood didn’t really help; he just wanted to cuddle with you and never let you go. and that’s exactly what you did. he looked so worn out and sleepy, you just couldn’t say no to that pretty face of his.

“hey sho?” you called him quietly, in case that if he had fallen asleep you didn’t wake him up, but he moved his head to look up at you. his cheek rested against your chest and that made his hair fall in front of his face, not letting you see him properly. you giggled before placing your hands on his cheeks, and getting the hair out of the way. todoroki could feel the tip of his ears burning up with the fierce stare you had on him, almost as if you were captivated by him. or maybe you were looking at his scar.

the thought had him moving his head to the side in hopes that you wouldn’t look at him much longer, but your fingers grabbed his jaw to keep him in place. you needed to let him know how beautiful he was, how much you loved him, and how a simple scar didn’t make him any less handsome.

“you’re beautiful,” todoroki swears he almost cried at your sweet words, not expecting you to say that. “so ridiculously handsome.” a smile grazes your lips when he tries to hide his face, once again, on your neck, but this time you let him. he could be rather shy sometimes and he didn’t exactly like being the center of attention, so you understood how this could be somewhat overwhelming. however, you still felt the urge to shower him with your love. your hands slowly came up to hold todoroki’s face, his eyes still not meeting yours. “i love everything about you. you know that, right?” he nods before finally looking at you, a surprised expression decorating his features when he sees how serious you are.

shyly, todoroki takes one of your hands in his and plants a kiss on your knuckles ever so softly before interlacing your fingers with his own. the endearing action makes butterflies erupt in your stomach as you stare up at the boy in front of you; his hair is completely disheveled thanks to the way you were caressing it earlier, his eyes look tired yet excited at the same time, and a small smile reaches his lips when he catches you staring at them.

“i love your hair,” you continue talking whilst leaning in to his touch, closing your eyes for a brief moment as you revel in the comfort your boyfriend offers you, before opening them again to lock your gaze on his. “i love your eyes, i never get tired of looking at them. i love your lips and the way they feel against my skin. i love your hands and the way you touch me so carefully, as if i were you’re doll,” you pause mid sentence to plant a brief kiss on the corner of todoroki’s lips and he can feel himself falling in love with you all over again. “but most of all i love you. you treat me so well and always make sure i’m comfortable, i just hope you know that you’re more than enough and that i’ll never get tired of you.”

todoroki doesn’t say anything, too astonished by your words, instead he slowly pulls away from your grasp and places himself on top of you. his arms rest right next to your head and his knees between your thighs; the intimate position makes you a bit flustered and the way he’s looking at you doesn’t help either. his eyes bore into yours so intensely you can almost see the passion behind them, along with all the love he holds for you. before meeting you, todoroki didn’t really understand the concept of physical affection, thanks to his traumatic childhood, and the first time you tried to hug him he tensed up and patted your back awkwardly. however, once he felt comfortable enough around you, he never hesitated to latch himself on to you whenever he felt needy.

and you loved the fact you were the only person who got to see this part of him, but most of all, you felt special. maybe even lucky. because you knew he had finally found a person who could give him all the love he deserved, and you didn’t plan on letting him go any time soon.

he’s so close. so close you can feel his heart beating against your chest and you smile when you notice how fast it’s going; you’re positive yours is the exact same, if not even faster. todoroki suddenly leans down and before you know it, his lips are touching yours. he kisses you feverly and passionately, wanting to convey all of the emotions you made him feel, the ones that were so intense he couldn’t describe them with words. your hands go up to play with his double colored hair while he gently nips at your lower lip, signaling you to open your mouth and you do. his tongue explores your mouth ever so carefully, as if he didn’t want to rush anything, and his actions elicit a soft moan from you.

todoroki smirks in between the kiss, lowkey proud of himself from getting such a reaction out of you, but you simply look away from him, too embarrassed to face him. he thinks that’s cute, he thinks you’re cute, and since he doesn’t want to fluster you any more, he doesn’t force you to look at him. yet he starts to trail a pattern of open mouthed kisses all the way from your jaw to your collarbones, occasionally leaving a love bite or two which make your hips involuntarily grind against todoroki’s. he giggles, enjoying the way your body was always so responsive to him, and the sound makes heat rush to your face.

“i love you too,” he smiles down at you and you copy him, joy filling your whole body as the sad expression todoroki had worn all week finally seemed to disappear. “thank you for lighting up my life.”

“you don’t need to thank me, pretty boy,” you plant another kiss on his lips. “thank you for making me happy.”

“no need to thank me, pretty girl.”

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iclaimedtobethebetterbard · 2 years

Note

!!! For One Chance To Change Your Fate!! 3, 4 and 11?

YAY hi virgil!!

(for anyone curious abt this fic—check it out here!)

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

i REFUSE to choose only one, so here is the smallest number of favorites i could pick:

Patton’s heart thudded in his ears, his chest far too small to hold all of the feelings that were overflowing everywhere and he couldn’t quite tell if it was so much he’d gone numb or if it actually hurt like a knife to the chest. (ch5)

Had he thought about it every day, or had it been a passing whim to casually ruin the life of a man he’d never met and a child too small to tie their own shoes, just because he could? (ch6)

Because of that new, shitty emotion. It was one that felt like worms squirming in his stomach and eating him from the inside out, and it made him want to hide deep underground where nobody could watch him fill his lungs with dirt so the worms would get out and he could stop feeling them. (ch6)

The question lingered in the air between them, direct and challenging. Asking Logan to choose. Facts or feelings. Logic or Janus. He could never choose anything other than Janus. He was afraid to choose anything other than logic. (ch9)

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

again. here is the smallest number of favorites i was able to whittle it down to XD

“We do need to talk about how to get the twins to behave civilly to the contestants.” “Bribery,” Janus responded without hesitation. “Now kiss me.” (ch2)

Janus pursed their lips. “Darling, I need you to understand what’s more important: a silly little law that nobody cares about anyway, or me looking hot?” (ch4)

Patton crossed his arms. “That is not a nice reason, Jan.” “Unfortunately, I’m not a nice person,” Janus said breezily. (ch7)

The doorknob rattled, startling him, and Janus burst in. “Darling,” they sang out, “I’m going to commit fraud against the Crown! Do you want to help?” (ch9)

11: What do you like best about this fic?

aaaaaa i love the amount of worldbuilding i’ve done and the ocs i’ve created. also imagining + describing fun outfits for the twins to wear. and the banter/dialogue i think generally is really good in this fic.

but possibly my MOST favorite thing of all is just. loceit. both of them being incredibly self-absorbed people and kind of assholes and each with the most lavish extravagant taste and each convinced that they are more important than pretty much everyone else. they’re both so high maintenance and a little bit awful to be around akhjskdjhfsg

but then specifically in combination with all that, them just being head over heels ridiculously unconditionally devoted to each other. it’s so good. they’re probably about the only people who could stand each other in the long term and they are incredibly unaware of this fact and just absolutely hopelessly adoring of each other and i love them. (also them being horny for each other all the time is incredibly amusing to me lol.)

[ask me about my fanfics!!]

#peregrin answers #peregrin said a thing #one chance to change your fate #star tag!!!!

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slimysnaildaddy · 4 years

Note

Please. We need MC with Tourette's and the brothers/undateables all reacting. Bonus if it's Chaotic!MC.

(For context I told the person asking this to send me this prompt bc I have tourette’s but feel weird abt writing shit on here without being prompted, this isn’t just some random person coming into my askbox like LETS JOKE ABOUT DISABLED PEOPLE i genuinely have TS and told them to do it please don’t flame silver here because he lovely and deserves only good things)

HELL. YES. Get ready for chaos. And I’ll be very careful not to hit the stereotypes, but I am one of the 10% who exhibits coprolalia (the much-lauded swearing symptom of Tourette's, literally meaning “Poop-speak” in Greek) so expect some of that. It should also be noted that I, personally, am completely fine with jokes about tics or laughing when they make for good situational humor, but mocking someone for having tics is a BIG no-no. This does not represent the TS community as a whole and you should always ask the person what level of joking they’re okay with.

I didn’t do all the undateables but this is ridiculous and self-indulgent anyway so no one cares.

Lucifer:

The first time he heard MC tic, it was when he was coming into the HOL after MC had been brought there by Mammon. He heard this puny human shout “SON OF A DONKEY WHORE” at the top of their lungs and automatically assumed they were in the process of being eaten by Beel or something of that nature, so he power walked (though he will deny it later) to their room only to find them casually re-arranging pillows and giving themself an occasional smack to the chest or making a strange yipping sound, perfectly safe.

Once MC explained it to him he simply sighed and came to the conclusion that this is going to be a long, long year.

He does get headaches sometimes, so he’s snapped at MC to keep it down once or twice and gotten chewed out as a result. It really isn’t something you can help, and MC makes that very clear.

Lucifer learned not to say anything of that nature, because somehow MC’s wrath is even worse than Satan’s.

He occasionally finds it hard to tell if MC is having a tic or causing problems intentionally. He wonders if they’re doing that on purpose. He is correct. He wonders if he can stop them. He is incorrect.

After he gets more comfortable with MC and learns the boundaries he will make jokes related to their tics.

“My hovercraft is full of eels!” “Perhaps you should invest in eel-catching equipment.”

If they’re having a bad day where they can’t stop hitting themself or might injure themself because of some of the more unpleasant tics, he will ask them if they need help with something, like a cushion.

Actually cracks up at some of the funnier tics. One time MC got him to spit coffee all over Diavolo with a perfectly timed tic. It was glorious.

Will facepalm if they say/do something particularly inappropriate.

Mammon:

First time he heard (or rather, saw) MC tic it was when he was unlocking the door to the HOL for them for the first time and they made a loud whooping noise and clapped very loudly.

Naturally this startled the shit out of him cause he’s a pissbaby lol. MC didn’t say anything about it cause they were too busy expecting to be murdered by this powerful demon lord who has been just this side of hostile to them ever since meeting them. They didn’t know he’s a pissbaby yet.

After a little while they mentioned “Oh hey i’ve got tourette’s” and here’s how THAT went.

MC: Yeah, I have Tourette’s Syndrome so if I start saying or doing weird stuff-

Mammon: WAIT. Isn’t that the swearing disease. (sighhh)

MC: *deep sigh* only 10% of us have coprolalia-

Mammon, barely remembering ancient Greek: WAIT SO YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS-

Satan tries correcting him but MC cuts him off like “no no, i want him to keep thinking that it’s funny as fuck”

Mc then proceeds to torment Mammon by threatening to shit on his belongings. Keeps him from stealing their wallet.

Literally takes him until he makes a pact with them to get the proper explanation (and to get roasted for making that assumption in the first place)

100% jokes with MC about their tics.

Still gets startled by the more sudden/loud ones and has jumped into Beel’s arms bc of this.

Levi:

First time they did a tic in front of him was when they were trying to figure out how to find Goldie.

“Maybe we should look in the- *starts smacking chest repeatedly* GARGOYLES GARGOYLES ughhh hang on this is gonna take a few minutes to stop GARGOYLES GARGOYLES”

Levi: *white guy blinking gif*

They do not look in the gargoyles.

MC explains it to him and he’s just like “OH I’VE SEEN MOVIES WITH THAT”

MC stares off into the distance like a character from The Office

He ends up being responsible for them having MULTIPLE tics where they imitate anime attack calls or gestures, peppered with occasional magical girl transformation lines.

They say rurin in a cutesy little voice every 5 minutes for a whole week and everyone’s glaring at Levi the whole time.

Thinks some of their tics are REALLY CUTE AND ANIME and is not shy about saying this.

MC: ugh, you know this is a GENUINE DISABILITY, right?

Levi: omg i’m sorry

MC: lol i’m just fucking with you- RURIN~!

Satan:

He noticed MC being a bit twitchy from the moment they arrived, but simply assumed they were nervous and a bit flinchy because of that. Of course, they totally were nervous but also their brain was just like “time to clench all of your muscles at once instead of paying attention to this very important conversation”.

After that he just notices more and more, and honestly he probably reads a lot so it’s likely he already knows about Tourette’s or similar tic disorders, it’s entirely possible that he asks them about it or mentions it casually in conversation.

Is honestly fascinated by their tics and what can trigger them, when they’re more or less frequent, things that cause them to get better or worse, etc etc. MC may have to actually tell him to stop treating them like a case study.

Or, even better, they may just intentionally fuck up his observations.

Knows a thing or two about how it feels to not be able to control yourself when upset. Whenever MC gets a tic attack he’s ready. He looked this up.

Tries not to crack up when they say or do objectively funny shit but sometimes a tic is times just PERFECTLY and he can’t help but snort.

Asmo:

The first time he heard them tic it was a mild disaster.

“Kissy poo~”

“OH YOU WANT ME TO KISS YOU?”

“nonono wait-”

Thinks some of the tics are cute and will absolutely let MC know. Even if they tell him to fuck off lol.

He sees a nasty bruise from one of MC’s more unpleasant tics (eg: chest smacking, slamming their head/arm into something on accident from a flailing tic) and doesn’t just have a cow, he has the entire damn pasture. MC simply CANNOT have such marks on their gorgeous skin! Don’t worry, he’s got creams and makeup for that :^)

Is a little too enthusiastic about offering to help MC relax if they’re having a bad tic day. He suggests massages. Massages are always good.

He’s happy to provide the massages.

Please MC let him give you a massage.

Beel:

First time he saw them tic it was during breakfast and they whistled very loudly right next to him.

His poor ears :( how could you hurt him in this way MC

Once they explained it he was like “Oh. Okay.” and moved on with his life.

He gets the whole “having urges to do shit you shouldn’t do” aka eating something he shouldn’t. He does his best to distract MC if they’re having bad tics.

mc: oh sorry i just need to touch something haha tourette’s is wild right *full on grabs beel’s chest* beel: :?

MC can ask him to restrain them if they’re having a really bad time with stuff and he’s more than strong enough to help lol. UNLIKE MY MOTHER SORRY MOM

Always apologizes if he accidentally triggers a tic.

MC starts climbing on him. Tourette’s compels them. He allows it. Jungly gym beel?

No lie I have a tic that’s just me saying “I eat worms!” in a cutesy voice and- IMAGINE

Belphie:

First time he saw them tic it was while he was still in the attic, they started jerking their head around during a late night visit and he was like what the fuck are you doing-

Thought it was incredibly annoying at first. I don’t blame him honestly. Tourette’s more like Annoying Asshole syndrome am i right (haha that internalized ableism)

Subtly triggered their tics intentionally cause haha stupid human

Once he got out of the attic and made friends with MC properly he was just kind of like “oh that was pretty shit of me wasn’t it”

Honestly doesn’t know how to help so he just ignores it lol.

The one time he tries to help them when they’re having a bad tic day he makes them take a nap with him because clearly if they’re asleep they can’t tic, right?

Surprise! They still can. Enjoy the knee to the stomach, B.

Encourages them to use their powers for evil. Like telling them to spill something on Lucifer and claim it was because of their Tourette’s.

Note: don’t do that, mc only obliges bc this is chaotic mc. TS not a toy etc etc

Barbatos:

Read that MC had tourette’s on their file, but honestly didn’t know what it was. Probably just assumed it was a heart condition or something, so when MC comes over for the retreat him and Dia are not expecting the tics.

The first time they tic in front of him it was at the retreat. He had just served them tea and tourette’s said yeeting time and they chucked the teacup. It hit him in the forehead. Tea all over his face. His hair. His suit. The wall. The floor. Maybe some on Diavolo too. He’s both impressed by their aim and wanting to fucking die.

Mammon is howling with laughter.

MC explains it to him while he’s still dripping with tea and he just smiles in a very strained manner and goes to get changed and wash his hair.

At the retreat when MC and Solomon make human food, he quickly learns that MC should not be around sharp Devildom knives. Or a stove. Or anything dangerous.

Gets weirdly protective over them, especially if they DO end up handling potentially dangerous stuff.

Keeps trying to find better ways to serve them drinks so they don’t break all the fine china, like plastic cups with lids. Stuff still gets spilled everywhere so he tries to get them a travel mug. The handle snaps and the lid leaks. Eventually gets them a sippy cup for toddlers, which works wonders. MC thinks it’s hysterical and makes him put a label on it with their name.

He seriously considers investing in Gyro Bowls as well.

After MC accidentally turned a platter with a soup bowl on it into an impromptu catapult with a poorly aimed table smack, he does just that.

One time they mention having a very strong urge to put their hand over a burning candle and he makes sure no candle is ever near them in the palace.

honestly i have too many ideas for barbatos so he’s getting a whole ass fic.

Diavolo:

The teacup incident was also the first time HE learned the true nature of Tourette’s syndrome. Once the whole deal was explained (and he knew mc wasn’t maliciously throwing things at Barbatos) he thought it was the funniest shit.

Bless his heart honestly.

Tries to not laugh at first bc he thinks it’s probably disrespectful. Meanwhile MC is cackling like a mad scientist bc they dabbed for the 343643th time today and Lucifer looks like he’s about to blow a gasket as a result.

Lowkey I can kind of see him as being one of those “Oh my goodness you are so BRAVE for going through this” meanwhile mc stares off into space like they’re on the office

Is astounded at all the unique challenges humans have to go through meanwhile MC is yeeting cups at barbatos

#tourettes #very specific and unrelatable tbh #actually tourettic #wow is tourettic the adjective?#huh #fitting #nobody asked for this #i'm self insert trash #and bullied someone into sending me this ask #you're welcome #asks

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willykappymarnsmatts · 4 years

Text

Wrong Direction: Chapter 2 (K. Kapanen)

@moriellymakesmesoft

“I just got off the phone with Max,” it's been two weeks since I've moved into Will’s place, my stuff still in boxes all over the apartment.

“Oh?’ William responds, tossing me a smoothie from the fridge as we get ready to go to practice. I still go to sleep in tears and wake up with puffy eyes, but Willy makes me feel like everythings going to be okay, if not today then someday soon. “How is he?”

“Good,” I tell him, scratching at the back of my neck, refusing to look up at him knowing what comes next. “He asked me to come stay with him. Well, he didn't ask. He's kinda forcing me.”

“Oh,” Will says. He turns around and faces me with a look on his face of a mix of betrayal and hurt, and it makes me want to burst into tears. “Um, well, are you gonna go?”

“I have to, babe. He's my brother, and he said that if I don't come by myself he'll pack my things for me the next time he comes to Toronto.” I feel bad, but I do miss Max.

Willy just frowns at me. “When are you leaving?”

“Uh, tomorrow. He said he'd buy me a plane ticket.”

“To Montreal?! I could drive you!”

“I know, its okay. He’s the one paying so I don't really care honestly. Don't we have to get going?’

“Yeah,” he giggles, glancing at the watch on his wrist.

On our way to the arena, I take deep breaths to try to calm my racing heart and shaking hands. Seeing Kasperi this often still hurts just as bad as seeing him in bed with that girl. But the whole situation has given me a lot of inspiration for a new song that i've been working on, bouncing ideas off of Will day and night.

He notices my agitation and reaches over to grab my hand. “After this, you won't ever have to see him or me ever again.”

“Hey, don't say that,” I pout. “I'll be back and i'll move back in with you, if you let me, in a couple months. I just need a break from Toronto. Everything I know is laced with memories of him. I can't even enjoy your games because he's there.”

Will nods without looking away from the road. “You're always welcome at my place. We’re all still really pissed at him, you know. Mitch hasn't spoken to him since that night, and you know how Mitch is. Auston doesn't even look at him, and Zach’s only talking to him because he feels bad that everyone is making every effort to ignore him but me. The whole fucking team loves you, Y/N. Oh, and Derms took a slapshot at his ankle the other night and he had to sit out for an entire period.”

My eyes are brimmed with tears and I have to look up at the ceiling of the car to keep them from spilling over. “Can you let the guys know i'm leaving? I'll obviously talk to them, but I don't want to be the one to break the news to them.”

Will nods. “Of course.” he smiles at me then and looks away from the road for a split second to wipe away a tear.

•••

I sit in the third row to watch the boys’ practice and try to continue writing, but the yelling and pucks hitting the boards constantly is distracting, so eventually I give up and watch them skate. During a water break, I catch myself watching Kasperi. All he does is take a few deep breaths, but watching him like this, as if nothing ever happened, makes my heart shatter. Before I can look away, he looks up at me and I watch his entire face fall. He stares at me and I stare back. He studies me, as if to memorize me. I can't look away, and he refuses to skate away. He continues forward, until he's at the boards and we’re a few feet away from each other. Neither of us can pretend we weren't looking at each other. He stops, and so does my heart. And we just watch each other. Just stare. My heart is breaking with every moment that passes, and my stomach hurts, because he was my everything.

A whistle blows. Kasperi whips his head around. The sounds of the rink come back into my ears, and we’re both taken out of the world where we were the only two people who existed. He skates away, glancing back at me once before never looking back at me again.

•••

“Y/N,” Willy says as soon as I answer his facetime call. I've been in Montreal with Max for about two months and I released my song about a week ago. Wills is driving back from practice, which is when he gives me a rundown on how “incredible” he was and how he's gonna kick ass at the next game. But today he looks anything but confident, his forehead a mass of worry lines and his mouth turned down into a frown.

“Y/N, your song is saved on my playlist, and I got the aux this morning. After practice, it came on. Most of us were singing, and I glanced at Kap, and he was just sitting there in his stall. He wasn't moving. Just staring straight ahead.”

I sit up. “Woah, slow down. I thought Kasperi and I were finished.” When I moved away, after the day at the rink, Will told me that Kasperi stopped seeming to care. He was out with a different girl every two days, bringing random girls home every day of the weekend. It still hurts, but it hurt more to realize that our entire relationship meant nothing to him. But if Will is telling the truth, which I don't doubt he is, it makes everything a whole lot more confusing.

“I thought so too, but listen. I think that it was your voice at first, Y/N. He hasn't heard your voice in months. And then he heard the rest of the song, he listened without moving, and as soon as it ended he got up, in just his slides and shorts, and fucking left the room.”

I'm silent, letting Will talk. “The rest of us didn't know what to do, so I tried to follow him. I found him in the weights room, and he was in tears.” Will flicks on the turn signal and turns onto his street, then glances at his phone to see if he should continue the story. I nod at him, holding my breath to keep from breaking down at the thought of Kasperi.

“I went to him and sat with him, and he just cried. I haven't seen him cry since he thought I was getting promoted to the bigs and he wasn't. But he was sobbing. So I sat with him, and eventually he calmed down enough to choke out that he misses you. He told me the girls were a front, and that he hasn't been able to sleep ever since that night. And, Y/N, I dont think he's lying. His eyes always have huge bags under them and he's so shaky. So I asked him why he did it, but he didn't have an answer. He said he missed you and he felt like you didn't love him anymore because you were always out doing stuff for your album, but I told him that was bullshit and he said he knew it. He told me he can't breathe without, and that he hates that he hurt you. So I told him to talk to you, and he said he'd try to text you later today.”

“Damn,” I respond, not sure how to feel. “I want to love him again, but I don't know if I can trust him.”

“You don't have to. He knows he hurt you, and that he has to work to get you back, but I am asking you to please just try to talk to him, because fuck, Y/N, if there’s a such thing as soulmates, it’s you guys. You're both in so much pain. Take your time, keep your walls up, but just talk to him.”

“Okay. Okay, fine.”

“Thank you, beautiful best friend. I'm home now, so I'll call you back in a couple hours?”

“Yeah, that’s cool. See ya.”

He ends the call and I'm left in silence. Then my phone dings with a text notification in my hand, and my heart picks up speed. I know exactly who it is, and I don't want to look at it, not right away, so I throw it across the couch with a pillow on top of it.

I put my head in my hands and try to slow my speeding heart by taking a few deep breaths. “Fuck!” I yell, then silently thank Max for going out a few hours ago. I wipe my face with my hands and sit straight up.

I stare at the pillow my phone is sitting under, knowing without ever checking that there is a text from Kasperi Kapanen waiting for me. My phone dings again and my heart jumps. I stand up and rip my phone from under the pillow.

‘wrong direction huh’

‘i miss u’

I cover my mouth with my hand and my eyes brim with tears. I sit back slowly onto the couch and read over the messages two, three, four more times before unlocking my phone and tapping on the text bar.

‘Dang, how'd u know it was abt u?’

I smile slightly as I type out the message and hold my breath when I hit send. I don't have to wait even a second before the three bubbles come up on the screen.

‘no idea’

‘ig im just tht good’

I laugh and type out another response.

‘Imyt. How r u?’

I bite my lip when the text bubbles come up, and a few seconds later his response comes.

‘could be better tbh. can’t sleep @ the apt nymore so i spend the nites b4 games @ 1 of the guys places’

My breath catches at the words. Then another message pops up.

‘im so sry 4 everything’

I bite my lip and close my eyes, taking a breath.

‘Thx. I havent stopped thinking abt u’

‘me neither’

I take another deep breath. Kasperi was my favourite person, my person, for so long. It's scary how easily we can fall back into simple, comfortable conversation, as if nothing ever happened. So I decide to be straight up and honest with him, and if he really does still care about me, he’ll understand.

‘U broke me, Kasperi. I never thought tht u would hurt me, and u literally broke me. I miss u more than nything and it hurts so bad to b without u, but seeing u in bed with another girl, tht broke me. It felt like our whole relationship was built on lies, and tht u never actually cared abt me. So yeah, i cant stop thinking abt u, and i want to b able to love you again, but u broke my trust and idk if ill ever trust u like i did before.’

I hit send and feel like I'm going to be sick. Everything I type I’ve told Will and all the other guys, but after the day I left the apartment, I never spoke to Kasperi about anything. The three bubbles come up on the screen and I hold my breath, then they disappear. They come up and disappear a couple more times, until a message finally pops up on the screen.

‘i wish i could take back everything i ever did 2 hurt u, but ik its not tht ez. i rly do want 2 fix this, tho. would u b down to ft l8r?’

I can't breathe, but I manage to type out a response without screaming.

‘Sure. Just text me when ur ready’

I take a deep breath and click my phone off. I'm about to get up when my phone dings again. I glance at the message and it makes my chest feel like it's going to explode.

‘ok i will <3’

I smile down at the screen and go to plug in my phone so it's charged when Kasperi wants to call. I really don't know if I'll ever be able to trust him again, but the least I can do is give him a chance to apologize. He's already broken me so badly, even if he lets me down again nothing will compare to the amount of hurt I’ve already felt.

#kasperi kapanen #kasperi kapanen fic #kasperi kapanen/reader #kasperi kapanen imagine #william nylander #hockey imagine #toronto maple leafs fic #toronto maple leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #hockey fic #nhl #nhl hockey #nhl hockey fic #nhl hockey imagine #willykappymarnsmatts

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stardustdiadem · 5 years

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Sickfic??

Anyway I've written sickfic before but like, I don't think it's around? Anyway this is abt my OCs, Castor and Alcinous, both princes (with Castor being a bit older, as well as frequently quite sick... Hmm)

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Castor had felt just fine until late in the afternoon, when he had finished his lunch and come home, and set about to his homework. He took from his leather bag a notebook and a few pens, and took a drink from the tea on his desk he had forgotten to have that morning. The honey was stuck in the bottom, however, and he found the taste horribly bitter. He sighed and opened the great book. The problems on the page looked like nothing but ugly drips of ink. He cursed himself for not paying better attention in class. As time went on, however, he found himself unable to concentrate, suddenly exhausted and his hands shaking. The room felt cold and drafty, even though it was nearing spring and those freezing, blizzarding days were long gone. But he ignored it as best he could, chalking it up to not sleeping well the night before. He knew he wasn't getting sick; it was impossible, right? Those horrid colds and fevers always struck in the autumn and winter and were forewarned by horrible fits of coughing and sniffling. Determined not to let a bit of tiredness stop him, he wrapped a soft blanket around his shoulders and tried to work as best he could, not finding he could get much done anyway.

By dinnertime a gnawing ache had risen in his stomach, which he drank a bit of sickly sweet medicine to quell. It settled heavily in him and he found it put down what little appetite he had. The table was set with buttery rice and vegetables fried up tender and still simmering, and some kind of rich dark meat roasted in honey and warm and crisp on the outside. It was all in ornate white ceramic and crystal bowls with all the accoutrements of a royal dinner. His brother Alcinous, having had a hard day of classes and of swordfighting, had already tucked in and ate so ravenously he almost forgot his manners. His parents were as usual, talking politely. Normally with such a meal he'd clean his plate and then serve himself a heaping amount of seconds. He was still growing, after all, and with his frequent illnesses he needed to eat well when he could. But today he only picked at his food, pushing the rice around the plate, cutting up little bites of meat. He found himself needing to choke it down, as if something heavy was stuck in his throat. His brother, noticing this, asked if he might be feeling sick. He countered immediately, saying he simply hadn't worked up an appetite that day. It was true; he only went to a few classes, which we mostly lectures and reading, and then went straight home. He proved this by eating an entire bowl of sweet pudding for dessert, as well as a few chocolates. He excused himself from the table before anyone else, saying he had plenty of work to do and needed to start on it. He knew the rest of them suspected he really wasn't feeling well, but no one stopped him as he went back to his room. Instead of sitting back at his desk, he laid on his bed and tried to quiet his stomachache, which had gotten far worse from the sweets he had hastily packed down. He drew a blanket up around his shoulders. It felt like his insides were swollen and inflamed, as though they had grown teeth and wanted to bite their way out. He took deep, shaky breaths to calm down. When he shut his eyes the room tilted around him and he knew he would faint if he got up. He ended up falling asleep there, and not awaking until it was night and the room was dark and he heard his mother coming upstairs to call him to supper.

Anyone in his country always took a small hot meal before bed to feel comfortable and satisfied all night. With the inhospitable winters not even a tapestried palace wall could keep out, a good bowl of porridge certainly helped, along with a steaming bath and fine nightclothes. But as he sat down, he realized the last thing he wanted to do was eat. Even the thought of food made him unbearably nauseous. His brother and his father were talking about something, but it all sounded far too loud to him, and he couldn't pick up a word with his fogged mind. Once everyone had finished, he had only taken two small spoonfuls from his bowl of porridge. It sat lukewarm and thick in front of him.

"Come up to bed, Castor," his mother urged. "You don't need to eat any more."

He nodded. All he could think about was the pain tearing open his stomach and the chills that permeated to his bones. He couldn't help shivering.

His mother placed a hand in his hair, her gentle face turning to concern. "You feel a bit warm, love. And you've lost that color in your face." She pinched one of his cheeks playfully. "Are you sure you're not getting ill?"

"It's just the stress," he mumbled, rising from the table. He suddenly felt lightheaded and paused a moment to let his body catch up. "I've had so much to do these past days."

"Then a good sleep should help." She gave him a kiss on the temple. "Goodnight, love."

"Goodnight," he said in a whisper while he went upstairs.

He drew a warm bath, but when he settled into the soapy water he found he still felt freezing and couldn't seem to warm up. His stomach was cramping violently and the soporific scent of the soap made his head start to hurt. He almost couldn't take it without wanting to pass out. He clutched his side and rode out the wave of pain.

Eventually he worked up the strength to get up, and drained the water and put on his warmest nightclothes. From the medicine cabinet he took the syrup for stomachaches. The brown glass bottle felt so incredibly heavy in his trembling hand. Instead of measuring out a spoonful, he took two big swallows from the bottle and set it back on the sink. He still couldn't be getting sick. It was something he had for lunch not agreeing with him, that was all, and it would clear up by morning. He thought this as he gagged into his hand from the taste of the medicine.

He settled into bed and shut his eyes. His head was spinning and he could wrap his mind around nothing but the burning pain. He heard his brother's movements in the adjoining room as he was getting ready to sleep. He placed a hand on his stomach and rubbed, trying to feel some relief. Even laying a finger on the tender place made it ache worse. Finally he fell into fitful, dreamless sleep.

He awoke with a start. The room was still dark with only the blue moonlight poking in through the white curtains. He sat up. The pain of his stomach struck him all at once and he nearly fainted with its force. The room was cold, but he had broken out in a sweat which dampened his nightclothes and sheets.

His throat held a rapidly rising nausea and felt tensed up and tight. His stomach gurgled and ached more fiercely than ever. He tried to breathe, but his breaths were quick and shallow. Thick metallic saliva rushed into his mouth. His whole body shook fiercely.

He considered rushing into the bathroom or to his rubbish bin to be sick. But his choice was made for him. He pitched forward and vomited into his lap. It was sour and stinging and watery with chunks of food throughout. The smell made him gag and immediately another wave rushed out onto the bedsheets, covering everything, his shirt, his pants, his pillows, everything in sour puke. The force of it wracked his slight body and he felt about to fall apart.

He only had a minute or so of a break before everything would start up again and his stomach purged every last bit of what he had eaten. He felt far too weak to even move and knew he would pass out if he tried to get to the toilet. He began to weep desperately. His clothes and face and bed were covered in his puke and spit which was growing heavy and cold all over him. His throat stung with acid.

He flopped over on his side, his head landing in a puddle of sick. He sobbed weakly, begging whoever was listening to please let this be over. He didn't know how long he laid there, crying and pathetic, absolutely unable to move.

He was barely aware of a knocking on his door. Someone asked to come in but he found himself unable to get any words out. They entered and flicked on the light.

The form of his brother came into view, with his long white hair and ruffled nightclothes. He rushed to Castor's side, cradling his head in his hands, letting him cry and whimper until he was spent and soothing him as much as he could.

"Dear," he said, "you're so warm. So pale, too. I heard you coughing from my bed." He took a tissue from a box on the dresser and wiped away the tears and vomit. At that moment nothing felt as good as his brother's soft and kind hands. "Come. Let's have you cleaned up."

He helped Castor sit up. He leaned over and weakly vomited a stream of nothing but stomach acid onto the sheets. He was helped to stand and into the bathroom, where he stripped off the wet and soiled nightclothes and got into the bath his brother had drawn. Meanwhile his brother called for a maid to change and wash the bed, saying Castor had gotten very ill, that he should be looked at in the morning and to cancel any engagements he held. It was two o'clock in the morning, as he learned. He was probably suffering a bad stomach virus. His temperature was one hundred three, as measured by his brother.

Castor dried off and dressed in fresh, cool linen nightclothes. He still felt shaky and his knees were weak. His stomach pain finally eased up just slightly, but his stomach muscles were horribly strained.

His brother laid him in his own bed while his sheets were being changed. He gave him small sips of water and made sure he kept them down before letting him take a little tablet of fever reducer. By three o'clock he mentioned he felt well enough to sleep. Alcinous laid next to him, covered him in blankets, rubbed his tender and sore stomach, stroked his wet hair. He had finally stopped shivering.

"Castor," he whispered, "Why wouldn't you tell us you weren't feeling well?"

"Because," he said, "because I didn't want you to be angry. I'm always getting sick and feverish. I know you're all tired of it-" his throat hitched as he felt himself about to cry. "That you all wish I would just be fine. Healthy and strong." He let out a sob. "But I'm weak and stunted and tiny a-nd-"

"Shh," Alcinous drew his brother close. "We all want you to be healthy. But we would never get mad at you for what you can't control."

"Even when I get sick all over myself?"

"Especially not when you get sick all over yourself. The world has blessed me with a brother. And I will love him no matter what, no matter what he looks like or what he goes through. He is perfect."

Castor began to feel a bit warm, despite everything.

"You are so, so loved. Don't ever forget that," said Alcinous. And soon after they both fell fast asleep until pink light of morning peeked through the curtains.

#sickfic #emeto #emetophilia #vomiting #puke #fluff #fever #my ocs #original #i posted this on my art blog without realizing people from school follow that ahhh

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zepdeans · 5 years

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there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3 -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4 -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :(( -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words?? -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!! -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!! -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life

#take a shot every time i say whew #fully put more effort and time into this than most of my uni projects xx #its super rambly but thats bc its mostly just my direct stream of thought #also super long! and probably still missing things i wanted to say #AND like 3 weeks late fshfjjkdjkfsd #skam #clownfest 2019 #blabbey

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sosa-sketch · 5 years

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Fright or Flight: Chapter 2

Parings: Prinxiety // Logicality // Platonic LAMP

Story Summary: Virgil and Patton investigate the New Prince Castle, when a brutal accident kills Patton. Patton wakes as a ghost and meets friendly ghoul Roman, who has been haunting the castle for 20 years. Virgil is determined to bring Patton back to life and brings Logan, the ghost expert, to help him out. Time is quickly running out, and the four must work together to undo death. If only it was as simple as Logan made it sound.

Unknown to them, a secret entity in the castle does not plan on letting them succeed.

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

When Patton first met Virgil, his last intention was to become friends with him. Virgil had built up a notorious reputation over the first few months of school, and his grades did nothing to disprove his status. Patton wasn’t the type to judge a person’s character based on rumors nor looks. No one was a higher believer in the benefit of doubt than Patton! However, Virgil’s first impression did not help his case.

Virgil transferred into Patton’s English class the second semester due to a schedule change. When the teacher stated a new team project was to be completed, Patton did not shy away from offering to be Virgil’s partner. He understood how difficult it could be being the new kid in a class full of friends and cliques.

The project was hefty, an collection of novel analyzing, essays, vocabulary, and journal entries. Patton was not looking forward to the Shakespearean project-Shakespeare’s language was alien to him. It occurred to Patton that pairing up with the soon-to-be-dropout may not have been his best idea. Nonetheless, Patton refused to be jaded.

The first day of the project, Virgil refused to touch the work.

“There’s no way I’m touching this project.” Virgil sneered. “Especially about Shakespeare.”

“Huh?” Patton had not fully processed Virgil’s words. “Is it because you don’t understand it?”

“Sure.”

“Neither can I! I guess Shakespeare really has our brains shaken up! Maybe we can ask the teacher to go over it for us?”

The teen huffed and shook his head. Virgil laid his head on the wooden desk and his eyes slipped closed. He napped for the rest of the period.

His behavior continued for weeks. Patton had tried everything in his power to get Virgil to help him out. Patton’s seemingly endless supply of compliments and encouraging gestures served no help.

Patton’s mind had conjured countless excuses for Virgil since Virgil himself refused to give one. At the beginning the excuses had seemed feasible. Lack of sleep? Family issues? However, by week three, Patton was already scraping the bottom of the barrel, trying to justify Virgil’s dismissive attitude with clones and possible mind control. Virgil was no closer to lifting up a pencil, there were ten days left of the project, and Patton still understood little to nothing about Shakespeare. Patton was flying solo and time was ticking.

The final week before the project was due, Patton caught the flu.

Patton would chalk up the flu to the top three sucky sicknesses of his lifetime. His fever was raging, his skin drowning in sweat while the insides of him iced over. Patton couldn’t tell when being awake ended and when sleep began. The only alarm in Patton’s body was the churning in his gut that rushed him to the toilet.

Understandably, the project was the last thing on his mind.

Patton would not remember his Shakespeare mission until the Sunday before it was due, when he was shaking off the final remnants of the flu. The realization hit him like a train, but by the time he went flying off his bed and hurriedly logging on to his computer to check the time, Patton knew it was hopeless. There was no way he could get the project done in a few hours and counting. Not when all his energy was going into fighting of sneezes and headaches.

Patton was dejectedly scrolling through his email filled with newsletters from adoption sites and animal protection agencies when a subject line caught his eye: “English Project.” Linked to the email were word documents and an audio file. Perplexedly, Patton opened the email.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: English Project

Patton,

so apparently you’ve been sick. class is way more quiet without you their, which is wierd.

i think i did everything you hadn’t done. it’s gonna be really mispelled and confusing and shit. sorry. i’m not the best with righting. feel free to fix anything.

get well soon.

-V

p.s. sorry for acting like a jerk. i owe you a explanation monday.

Patton hugged his computer screen and laugh with relief. He had no idea why Virgil was so nervous. His ideas were brilliant. A week later, Patton would see an A in his gradebook for the Shakespeare project.

There was a reason why Patton never lost faith in people.

True to his word, the next week Virgil explained his mistreatment to Patton. Virgil struggled with dyslexia. While he was getting tutoring in overcoming his learning disability, Virgil’s writing made him incredibly insecure. His old teacher always let him work individually, but the new teacher wasn’t having it. Before class, the teacher pulled him aside and told Virgil he was no different from any other student and would have to work with a partner. Virgil, determined to spite the teacher and anxious to seem like an “idiot” in front of Patton, would pretend to sleep the whole period.

“All your writing took was a quick grammar fix. The ideas were so good! I’m not just saying that to say that, they actually were! I could never think of something like that.” Patton reassured enthusiastically.

Virgil flushed a bright red. “I didn’t do much. Shakespeare is a lot easier to understand with audio.”

Patton listened to the audiobook of Macbeth that night. Virgil clearly wasn’t giving himself enough credit.

Virgil and Patton quickly grew close once the project was done. Virgil was still quiet, snappy, moody, and detrimentally insecure, but he began to open up more as the months went on. By senior year, Patton and Virgil was joined at the hip. Two peas in a pod.

Virgil had grown a lot since freshman year.

Being joined at the hip with Virgil meant that Patton got to understand Virgil by the simplest change in body language or expression. It also meant that Patton became aquatinted with anyone close to Virgil.

Patton already had a bad feeling while Virgil’s tone had shifted on the phone the night they were chatting about yearbook quotes. Remy sending Patton a text only confirmed the ball of dread in his stomach.

Rem: pat can we talk ?

Patton: You don’t even have to ask! Everything ok?

Rem: it’s about v

Rem: have you guys talked recently ? out of school

Patton: We talked last weekend. Over the phone. Why? Is Virgil fine??

Rem: idk. he came over to my house a couple nights ago at like 5 am. talked about some ghost shit.

Patton: He woke you up to talk about ghosts??(language!)

Rem: looking for affirmation that he wasn’t some obsessed ghost freak. i told him nah

Rem: but tbh he kinda is obsessed

Patton: He is passionate about his ghosts! But that’s not a bad thing.

Rem: v strongly disagrees. the whole thing about the yearbook and ghost quotes really messed with his head

Patton: I didn’t mean anything bad by it! It was just an idea! I promise! I’ll apologize to him!!!

Rem: wait no thats not what im saying. no one blames u

Rem: is he doing any ghost stuff anytime soon

Patton: Yep. He’s going to visit a castle!

Patton: Is that bad?

Rem: don’t you remember last time v became paranoid abt something? he pulled some real stupid stuff just to prove ppl wrong

Patton: Yeah. I know.

Patton: Gosh now I’m worried :(

Rem: i just dont want him doing anything he’ll regret on the trip. can u just…idk watch out for him pls ? ik v can take care of himself. but sometimes he gets into this headspace that’s self-destructive

Rem: tbh i dont like his ghost stuff as it is. i dont need him doing something dumb either

Patton: I understand Rem. That’s really sweet of you <3 <3

Patton: I’ll look out for him! I promise!!!! :-) :-)

Rem: ty. dont tell v abt this convo tho

Despite feeling uneasy about it, Patton understood Remy’s request to keep silent. Telling Virgil about their conversation would only push Virgil away and make him defensive. It’d be impossible to look out for him.

Virgil had already given Patton a way in. Patton had to talk to Logan for Virgil and get any supplies he might need. Patton loved visiting Logan in and of itself. Maybe Logan could help him out.

Logan’s business was located near small shops clustered along the beach. It was a hotspot for tourists, where knickknacks and souvenirs were sold and expensive attractions were advertised. Patton walked along here with Virgil sometimes, stopping at the arcade or mirror maze. Patton had met some of the most interesting people in the small touristy town.

Among the attractions was a dark blue shingled building with a pointy-roofed top. Painted letters on a wooden board spelt out “Afterlife Exposed.” Patton stepped through the door and a bell gently ringed, signaling his arrival.

At the sound of the bell, a tall, dark-haired man turned around. His navy suit blended in with the darkness of the shop. The man’s lean body was captivated beautifully in the suit. Patton quickly averted his eyes, blushing furiously.

“I have been expecting you-oh. Greetings, Patton. What a surprise.”

“Hi Logan!” Patton waved enthusiastically. “Who were you expecting?”

“No one. It’s a new rule Father has implemented. I must say it to every customer to ‘set the mood,’ as he calls it.” Logan dragged his hand over his face exasperatedly. “I find it quite ridiculous. But business shall be business.”

Logan’s father technically owned Afterlife Exposed. But he was always hidden in the back, gathering supplies or experimenting. Logan was currently studying entrepreneurship in college in order to take over the family business someday.

“How may I help you today, Patton?” Logan inquired, stepping around the counter to stand in front of him. He was even taller up close.

Patton filled Logan in about the New Prince Castle family murder and Virgil’s plan to investigate the castle for one of his ghost routines. Logan nodded politely the whole way through.

“I see. What an intriguing case. What exactly does he need from me?”

Patton shrugged cluelessly. “Anything you think might help, I guess.”

“What’s his budget?”

“A coffee and cake pop from Starbucks, if he uses his gift card.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “And he sent you to purchase something from here? Why, he couldn’t even afford a keychain.”

“Come on, Logan! He’s one of your most loyal customers and between us, he’s going through a rough patch. Can’t you help him out? Please?”

Logan massaged his temples and sighed. “Patton, it’s just not something the business can afford to do right now. My Father and I have been dealing with a sort of rough patch as well. You and Virgil have my sincerest apologies-truly, you do.”

Patton nodded dejectedly, “I understand.” Spotting Logan’s hesitant expression and tense form, he rested a hand on Logan’s shoulder and grinned. “Really, I do. I don’t blame you.”

Logan gave a small, tight-lipped smile in return. Gently shaking Patton’s hand off his shoulder, he clasped his hands together tightly. “Well, is there anything else I can do for you?”

“I’m not too sure.” Patton pursed his lips in thought. “Well, actually. I was wondering if you could tell me the dos and don’ts of ghost hunting. The yays and nays. The cats and dogs-actually no scratch that, both of those would be a yay.”

“With all due respect, Patton, I think Virgil has got that covered.” Logan reassured. “He must have asked me a dozen times prior to his first investigation.”

“Oh yeah, I know. It’s for me.” Patton corrected.

Logan raised an eyebrow in perplexion. Patton had never shown an interest in ghost hunting when Virgil wasn’t to be found.

Patton thought quickly. “I just want to understand more. For when I talk to Virgil. Sometimes I really don’t get half the explanations coming from the kiddo’s mouth.” It wasn’t a lie. “Just…how do you deal with ghosts?

“I see.” Logan clicked his tongue. “I’m sure Virgil could explain it to you more in depth. But, if you’re ever in doubt, chalk it up to one thing: respect. Is what you’re doing respecting the afterlife and their home? Are you portraying common courtesy? Treat them with the same respect as the living, if not more. There are exceptions, as with anything, but for the most part, that should keep you out of trouble with spirits.”

“Respect.” Patton repeated.

“You have strong morals, Patton. If you’re concerned about involvement with the afterlife due to your closeness with Virgil, I would not worry. Lack of respect is the last of your weaknesses.”

Logan pulled out his phone from the back of his pocket. “I apologize, I must return to my work. However, if you or Virgil have any more questions, feel free to give me a call.”

Patton gushed and thanked Logan, jotting down his number. Logan flushed a gentle red and held out his hand for a handshake.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Patton.”

Patton swatted Logan’s hand away and brought him in for a hug. “Thank you, Logan.”

Logan awkwardly pat Patton on the back before ungracefully untangling himself from the embrace. “I was only doing my job. Now, I understand it’s none of my business, but I recommend getting some rest. You look exhausted.”

“High school has permanently carved bags under my eyes.” Patton shook his head defeatedly.

Logan gave an amused smirk. “You sounded like Virgil.”

Patton beamed. “Like father, like son!”

Just as Patton was about to turn around to leave the store, something in the corner of the room glistened, catching his eye. “Hey Logan? Just one more thing?”

Logan hummed at him, encouraging Patton to continue.

He pointed to the object at the corner of the room. “How much can I get that for?”

“Walkie-talkies. I sent you to Logan Berry, one of the smartest, most knowledgeable people about the afterlife in this town, and you come back with a Ghost Buster walkie-talkie.” Virgil grunted, dangling the toy by its antennae.

“You can have the Casper the Ghost one instead.”

“What? No! Ghost Busters is better, anyway.” Virgil groaned. “That’s not the point. How about advice? Did Logan say anything?”

“Just to respect the ghosts. Have common courtesy. Which you better be doing anyway, even without Logan telling you to do so.”

Virgil threw his hands up in exasperation and fell down into his sofa as the cushions engulfed the skinny man. “Obviously I respect them! The last thing I need is coming home possessed and cursed! He knows I know that. That’s really all he said?”

“Besides giving us his number.” Patton confirmed. “Which I already gave you.”

Virgil grumbled. “Whatever. One day I’ll get enough money to- wait. The walkie-talkies. There’s no way you could have bought them with my money, I would not have had enough. Please don’t tell me…”

Virgil got a glance of Patton’s sheepish look and groaned. “Patton, we have a rule! No buying each other anything!” He buried his head in his hands. “I can’t pay you back. You know that.”

“Hey…” Patton took a seat next to Virgil and laid a comforting hand on his knee. “It’s okay. They weren’t expensive. You don’t have to pay me back.”

Virgil looked at Patton in between his fingers. His voice was muffled against his palms. “You know how I feel about that, Pat.”

“Virgil, come on.” Patton pleaded.

Virgil shook his head. “Thank you. But, you need to return them.”

Guilty silence settled among the two, but neither made a move to leave. Both were lost in their own worlds when an idea struck Patton.

He nudged Virgil. “I know a way for you to pay me back without money.” At Virgil’s unimpressed look, he protested, “Seriously! It would mean a lot more to me than whatever these walkie-talkies cost.”

“Yea?” Virgil lifted his head from his hands. “What is it?”

Patton stared at Virgil’s stormy eyes as his heart pounded. In all honesty, this was the last thing Patton wanted to do. He was terrified. But, he thought back to the conversation he had with Remy, and the last time Virgil did something senseless unsupervised due to paranoia. “I want to go ghost hunting with you. At the New Prince Castle.”

Virgil’s jaw dropped. His eyes darted around Patton’s face before he shook his head and gave a weak chuckle. “Sure, Pat. Whatever you say.”

“No, I’m serious!” Patton insisted. “I’ll respect the ghosts and do whatever you tell me to do!”

Virgil was dismissing Patton before he could finish his sentence. “No, no, no. You hate ghost stories, Pat! Especially ones that are spooky and gruesome. You’d hate ghost-hutning. It’s dark and there’s lots of weird noises and tons of spiders. No way. I’m not adding more guilt to my conscience.”

Virgil made a move to get up from the sofa, but Patton refused to let the conversation drop. He grabbed Virgil’s hand and pulled him back to the seat. Virgil landed with a clumsy thump.

“Kiddo, I know I hate all those things. I’m sure I’ll be scared. But, you’ll be there too! I love you more than I hate all those things combined.”

“Patton, we can do something else together. Go to the movies. Or bowling. Normal teen stuff.” Virgil reasoned.

Patton retorted, “But ghost hunting is important to you.”

“It’s not that important. It’s a simple hobby. I don’t care that much about it.” Virgil cut off.

“I know, I know!” Patton quickly backtracked. “What I meant was that ghost-hunting has been a cool way for us to bond. It intrigues you-a perfectly normal amount-and I like seeing you happy! Just like you go walking with me along the shops by the beach even though it’s super crowded and you hate it.”

“Patton, what’s your point?” Virgil grilled.

“My point is I want to try this thing that you enjoy with you. Just like you try things for me. It’s senior year, Virgil. No one hates thinking about it more than me, but we don’t know what things are going to be like after high school. I want to find a husband, start a family. Maybe study veterinary science. You could have a publisher for your writing, become a famous author, and move. I want to do this with you. I want to get over my fear.”

Patton stared at Virgil hopefully and held out his hand. “What do you say? One more big adventure for the dynamic duo?”

Virgil stared at Patton, looked down and roughly shook his head, froze, then stared at Patton once more. Virgil’s foot rapidly tapped against the floor, creating a dizzy, distracting melody. Finally, Virgil pulled his hair and glared at Patton. “You’ll be careful?”

Patton nodded eagerly.

“And you’ll stick with me no matter what? At all times? I want you in my sight.”

Virgil dramatically groaned, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. “I guess you can come.”

Patton shot up from his seat, whooping with joy and hopping around the sofa. “Thank you, Virgil! Thank you! We’re going to have such a great time!”

Virgil peeked one eye open and gave a soft grin. “Yeah, I guess we are. You’re sure you wanna do this?”

“Never been more sure of anything in my life besides my love for you and cats! I pinkie swear it.”

Patton and Virgil intertwined pinkies before Patton winked and let go, embracing Virgil.

“Let your moms know you’re going to be gone for the weekend.” Virgil smirked. “We have a haunted castle to explore.”

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #sanders sides fanfiction #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #remy sanders #deceit sanders #LAMP #CALM #platonic lamp #hurt/comfort #family fluff #fluff #logicality #prinxiety

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fenharelxenansal · 6 years

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ooc;;

so i went back into my discord history to dig up some meta i wrote a while back about briala. alice, nixe, mo, merc, and cay have all already read this, but i feel like a lot of it is really important to my characterization and i want it on my blog. maybe someday i’ll format it to read in a less disjointed, chat-style way, but for now -- have 1600+ words about briala’s backstory, i guess?

cw: lots of emotional abuse and gaslighting, lots of character death

im having a mood abt the tactics celene might have used to keep briala on her side when they were fighting and aaugh

bc i think a lot about the scene at the beginning of TME where bria is getting sexually harassed by a palace guard and the fact that nobody in that scene, briala included, acts like its anything particularly abnormal. that worries me

i mean. celene killed her damn parents. i dont think encouraging a guard to harass briala from time to time to make herself look like a saint in comparison is beyond her

and i have this mental image of briala being hurt in some way, nothing serious, a bruise here or there from someone other than celene, deliberately caused to send her running back to the empress who will make it all better

to give briala someone to hate instead of celene

to give celene the opportunity to 'make it up' to her

because i dont believe for a second that celene, grand player of the Game that she is, wouldn't stoop that low

she would do anything in her power to keep briala

because she is too dangerous, she knows too much

my headcanon is that when celene tried to send her away to live with the Dalish, it wasn't for her own protection

it was to keep her from ever realizing the truth of what happened the night her parents died, because it could destabilize celene's grip on power

and when Briala came back, well, she had to come up with another plan. and she cared for Briala enough that she didn't want to just kill her. so she made her into an intensely loyal asset

so i think any time Briala started to turn on her, started to want to leave her service even a little, she would do something to make herself look like the good guy again

the thing i always think about

Briala was supposed to be killed that night along with her parents

it wasn't 'all the servants except briala' it was 'all the servants'. the fact that she survived was pure luck, and the fact that celene didn't just have her killed after that point was because. well. Celene was a 16 year old lesbian about to ascend the throne of one of the most powerful countries in Thedas. One might imagine her a bit lonely.

im pretty sure she knew sending briala away was sending her to likely bandits or death by starvation

but she didn't have to feel so personally responsible for that

its easy to kill a palace full of servants whose names you dont know

theyre just numbers on a piece of parchment saying how many bodies you have to clean up

briala made herself real to celene and that makes her harder to kill

because she could have just killed her right then herself

but celene never had the stomach for killing people herself. she just gives the orders.

and so when faced with that situation, with her personal handmaiden traumatized, crying, covered in her parents' blood saying 'they're all dead', the smart thing to do would have been to kill her. but celene didn't do that. she just sent her away to near-certain death instead.

Briala is incredibly dangerous to Celene

especially post-TME, post realization of exactly how Celene orchestrated her rise to power

she is the only one who knows that Celene's claim on the throne is truly illegitimate, no matter how much Gaspard tries to argue it

not only did she have her own palace servants murdered

she had the emperor assassinated

which i think everyone misses?

she had him assassinated and then staged the murder of her palace servants to paint herself as an innocent victim who just happened to not be there that night

thats why all the palace servants were killed

so that suspicion would not fall on her for Florian's murder

the point was to make it look like the same assassins who went after her uncle were also going after her

when in reality she was the one calling the shots all along

i did briefly toy with writing a verse where Briala never met Felassan, where she made it to the Dalish safe at 14 years old and tried to become one of them

but the fact is that the moment he sent her back to Celene was a defining moment for her, something that fundamentally changed her, and she wouldn't have been anywhere near the same person without that

it told her, right there and right then, subtextually and insidiously, that the cause was the most important thing, more than her safety - because she knew it was dangerous being anywhere near the Empress-to-be, she wasn't stupid. she didn't even really know what the cause was at that point; he never told her what he got out of their meetings. so the cause to her became helping elves. and then that really quickly became warped to helping celene because she convinced her that it was the best way to serve the cause.

"what would have been different if she'd decided what she wanted to fight for on her own?"

she would have been a lot less.....not less dedicated, but less 'dedicated to the detriment of her own wellbeing'

if she had decided herself not to go to the Dalish, to stay by Celene's side to enact change, rather than just following the orders of other people, her story would be very different

concept: briala actually processing her trauma??? what???

bc you know the moment she got back to the palace with Celene after meeting Fel for the first time she threw herself headfirst into the Game

she focused all of her energy on intelligence-gathering and supporting Celene in her bid to become Empress

She never gave herself a single moment to grieve

and it isn't an uncommon story in Thedas, an elf watching someone or multiple someones they love cut down by humans

imagine if u will: briala, trying to have a funeral, not just for her parents, but for all of them

thats the thing i really feel the need to

idk

it wasn't just her parents

briala grew up in the palace. her parents were both palace servants.

she knew every single one of those servants. they were her friends and her family. and at the end of it she was left standing covered in blood in front of celene. celene was all she had left.

she didn't have any friends at the beginning of TME. she was friendly with the cook, but that was it.

celene took a generally happy, driven, and incredibly smart 14-year old elven girl and took away everyone she had ever known except herself. she made herself briala's world.

that's the real reason i hate that you can reunite them. its not that i don't believe they could be reunited - its that they can. because briala doesn't have anyone else. she has celene and felassan. that's it.

when you only have one person, its easy to make excuses for them and justify the things theyve done. its easy to believe them when they apologize and promise to do better.

thats why i want briala to have friends and lovers and people

i want to have a verse where she has grown so far beyond that point that she would laugh if Celene asked her to return to the palace

i want her to stop loving Celene but she isn't there yet

in my current writing, at least

she is still vulnerable to her in every verse where Celene is still alive

i just imagine her like

talking quietly about her childhood best friend among the servants

we don't get to see much of Briala's childhood

we get the moment of her mother telling her she mustn't try to hide her ears and that she must be proud of being an elf. that's really it.

but we do know that there were other children of servants who were considered for Celene's handmaiden aside Briala

i like to think she was friends with these other children. that she wasn't always lonely from the start

but of course that leads down the road of those friends being slaughtered as well so its a tradeoff

and then there's the question of whether when Celene kissed her when she was sending her away, if that was her first kiss, if she ever even had the chance to love someone else

i think a lot about how Briala spent 20 years learning how to love exactly 1 person the way she wanted to be loved

just imagining her trying to have a romantic relationship with someone else with that framework still in place is painful. it wouldn't work no matter how much she wanted it to because she'd be treating them like celene. she has no other model for how a relationship can work

she bypasses that somewhat with Lana, but its still there, thinking that the best thing to do is the thing that Keeps Lana Safe

she wouldn't recognize abuse if she got into another bad relationship

and she doesn't know how a relationship works where she isn't centering the other person's needs over her own

she gave up everything she ever wanted or aspired to for Celene

one time i got a prompt from a lyric starter list i made

'you can still be what you want to'

and briala just. broke for a moment.

'no. i can't. i never could - none of us ever could. thats why we fight.'

she doesn't have interests or hobbies or friends or a life

celene was her life and now she's filled that void with her cause

#meta;#about the muse;#this is a lot of words and i really need to go through and retype this in a way that is proper sentences and such #don't have the spoons for it today #emotional abuse cw #death cw

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avasilvugh · 7 years

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So how do Lena and the kids handle things when Kara gets hurt from a fight with an alien or something?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH WELL

i mean when they’re little, the kids aren’t super duper aware?? and the adults around them keep a p good handle on everything when shit goes down so they usually remain p blissfully ignorant when kara gets hurt

like they get that kara has a sometimes scary job where she has to protect ppl but its like aunt maggie or aunt alex’s jobs and sometimes she walks in the front door moving a little stiffly and sometimes they have to go see her at the deo, sitting under these bright lights that make maia and finn feel a little weird, a little dizzy, a little powerful, and they hurt stella’s eyes (or maybe that’s not why there’s this heavy pounding at the back of her skull? she’s so little, she doesn’t have words for it) but it doesn’t rlly.....idk sink in??

that said: lena is quietly a Wreck. bc the kiddos respond to how she responds, she can’t rlly fall apart (not that she ever rlly did?? but she was able to cry abt it and drop everything to rush to the deo and fuss over kara) so she gets v quiet abt it, all hurried crying with the sink running, bathroom door locked. she gets v good at hiding the evidence that anything is wrong

one time, when finn is abt six or so and maia is four and stella isnt quite a year old, kara gets Hurt. like big time, holy shit, lena we’re doing everything we can for her hurt. and lena’s stretched so thin already bc kara’s been gone a lot in the week leading up to this, trying to catch this trio of aliens (one rozz escapee, two that got caught up in his schemes) bc they made a direct threat to that pretty luthor you seem so interested in, isn’t she married supergirl? so she just—she can’t imagine not being with kara at the deo but she can’t make their three little kids spend the night in uncomfortable chairs either and she’s exhausted and terrified bc for the first time in a long time she’s not like one hundred percent sure kara’s going to be okay?? and she can’t do this alone, she can’t raise their children on her own, this was always a partnership and she can barely keep them all on schedule for a week how on earth can she do that for the rest of their lives?

and god bless the superfriends, they all step the fuck up. they’re all sick with worry, obviously, but these kids are still pretty sheltered, still dont have any idea of what their mother does, who she is, what she risks to protect them every day, and everyone pulls it together a little, just enough to take shifts with the kiddos.

maggie takes mornings, gets finn and maia up and off to school, makes sure they have packed lunches and healthy breakfasts and sends lena little text updates, a picture every morning of the kiddos grinning in their carseats

james covers afternoons—winn picks the kiddos up and drops them at catco and listen, they love their uncle james to no end and he comes up with a million and one games for them to play. cat usually emerges from her office at some point bearing sweets and the offer of cartoons on one of the many tvs on her wall

lucy flies in on the weekend and hosts a sleepover at her apartment in the city, promises that she’ll make sure they eat their fruits and veggies and then immediately gives them just about as much sugar as they can ask for. they watch the incredibles and finding nemo and the aristocats (abt 37 times, lucy counted)

eliza stays at the house, helps take care of stella when lena needs to sleep. she and alex understand The Most, and they stay the closest; eliza cooks meals and moms the hell out of lena and alex sits right next to her at the deo, squeezes her hand whenever she starts to cry and cries along with her

its not good and its not easy and those six days are the Longest of lena’s life but the kids dont even remember them rlly, just a hazy sort of fog of hanging out with their cool aunts and uncles and finn’s the only one that kind of remembers?? but he only rlly remembers kara coming home and them eating a lot of potstickers

UNDER THE CUT BC I KEEP CRYING UR WELCOME

it’s a completely different story when they’re older. i would say the first Big Scary Moment comes when finn’s ~10, maia’s around eight, and stella’s just turned five. stella only rlly remembers it bc emotion sort of sharpens all of her memories??? and there were a fuck ton of emotions happening

stella’s at a sleepover and maia’s at a girl scout overnighter and finn’s at a sleepover too (nice attempt at date night kara and lena, too bad evil waits for no happily married couple’s first night alone in months) and kara has to leave bc there’s something happening uptown and lena’s happy, a little warm from the wine and says something like hurry back and she turns on the news, bc she always does when supergirl has to save the day and it’s around six, so it’s the regular evening news and its on in just about every home in national city and the counselors at maia’s camp are watching just to kill time

so everyone gets to watch in hd as supergirl gets shot out of the sky in a hail of kryptonite bullets

stella’s hysterical, so’s maia (no one ever said the kids were any better at secret keeping than kara), finn’s the only one that rlly keeps it together long enough to fake a stomach ache and ask to call his mom to come get him. lena’s numb, rlly, has to focus on keeping her voice steady when she’s got maia and stella on speaker, assuring them both that she’s on her way to get them, she’s just picked up finn

alex’s already had one of the break rooms near medical set up with cots and lena nearly cries then and there in relief, because she sure as shit isnt leaving the deo without kara and she sure as shit isnt calling a babysitter for her hysterical children, not when stella’s hanging onto her and maia’s tucked up against her side and finn, oh god finn’s trying so hard to keep it together, keeps looking at his sisters, keeps looking at lena and setting his jaw and he’s so much like kara it hurts for lena to see

kara’s in surgery for a long time, long enough that the kids eventually pass out. they have separate cots, but finn asks lena to help him shove them all together and it makes a surface big enough for the kiddos to curl up together, stella sandwiched between her big siblings, finn’s longer arms just barely reaching over maia’s shoulder, keeping them all together and lena can’t sleep so she pulls up her cot as well and watches her children sleep, watches them draw their breath in sync, as a unit, and she’s not sure how long it is, but then alex is stepping in, exhausted, and she just nods at lena and it’s enough

stella must sense the mood shift bc she’s awake first, squirming to get free of the dog pile theyre in and waking her sibling in the process and then they’re all looking at lena, wide eyed, and it’s maia, the boldest of the three, that asks when can we see mama?

alex answers that she’s resting, that she needs to rest a little longer, but if they’re very quiet and very careful they can go in and see her right now and lena’s not sure if she’s ever seen her children so entirely subdued, but they shuffle into kara’s room very quietly and very carefully, lena just behind them and kara just barely blinks, just barely smiles at them before it all changes again, before stella’s whispering something in finn’s ear and finn’s nodding and asking alex if they can kiss kara and kara’s eyes are shining and lena’s very nearly openly crying

kara kind of cuts alex off with a hoarse c’mere kiddos, i feel like i haven’t seen you in a week and then finn’s wrapping his arms around stella’s middle and he and maia are bouncing off the ground lightly, floating over to kara’s side and their kisses are kind of messy, a little snotty probably, considering how much crying they’ve been doing, but it’s okay, it’s so much better bc kara’s laughing and smiling and sharing a look with lena when stella insists on putting bandaids on her bc you’ve got a lot of booboos mama

it changes as they get even older, obviously, as they get a better understanding of why their mom is getting hurt, and maia gets very angry with kara for a while bc she gets wanting to protect ppl, she gets being a hero, but what, are you just going to leave us?

one time kara gets p hurt and maia storms out of the room when the family gathers around her and she wont talk to lena, wont talk to alex, and its against several warnings not to that kara gets out from under the sun lamps and goes after her. it’s not an easy conversation, not by any means and maia’s angry at a a lot of things and kara’s only one of them, but she gets the brunt of it, gets the why don’t you ever think about us? and the broken i don’t want you to die that comes after a fair amount of yelling and crying

kara doesn’t have a lot of answers that will satisfy maia, she knows, bc maia’s young still and hasn’t had much reason to see the good in people, doesnt have the same idealistic world view like finn, like kara, but what she lacks in solid answers, she makes up for in a hug that clocks in around twelve minutes at least and it’s not the end of the discussion, but its the end for now bc then maia’s remember that holy shit, my mom just got thrown through a building and is ushering kara back to the sun bed

finn’s so gentle, his heart just breaks every time kara gets hurt. he cries for days in college once bc kara blows her powers in the middle of a fight and just keeps going bc back up wasnt coming and there were civilian lives at stake and he wanted to fly home to help, he wanted to, he wanted to so badly, but he couldnt, he was rooted in place watching the fight on the tv in the lounge, too afraid of the power he had to move

he feels a lot of guilt for that for a very long time, even after stella intervenes (she doesnt v often, only when she thinks it’s necessary) and kara talks to him, assures him there’s nothing for him to feel guilty for. it takes years, rlly, for him to ever really forgive himself for not helping her, for not stepping in

mostly tho he steps in and fills the gap while kara’s down, takes maia to the demo room when her hands start shaking with rage, holds stella’s punching bag, stops by lena’s office when he’s on his way home from school to drop off a sandwich or salad or something just to make sure she eats. bless him, he rarely confronts his own feelings about his mother’s second job, the risks she takes. he can’t, you know? they’re hard, difficult to handle, difficult to reign in, so he avoids thinking about it too hard until he’s forced it, then my sweet son just breaks down at the oddest moments, like in line at the grocery store or folding laundry or playing video games with his best friend. just fucking sobs—its usually weeks after kara’s been hurt, and kara’s learned to be on the look out for him around this time, learned to keep half her attention searching the city for her son crying and when she hears it she just drops whatever she’s doing and goes to collect him. they usually go get ice cream or maybe pizza, or sometimes take a walk along the pier. sometimes kara will ask finn to teach her how to play whatever game he’s rlly into and she will act like she absolutely has no idea how to play it at first (even though she totally plays them)

and stella !! stella, little stella always feels it the hardest, always takes her pain and grief and anger and fear and multiplies it, carries the weight of her family with her everywhere she goes. even if she’s not watching kara fight off whatever evil is lurking in national city, she knows when it’s gone wrong bc lena always watches and the two ppl stella can feel the easiest, strongest, loudest are kara and lena. she always feels it first

and then it’s agonizing hours of pain, wave after wave of horror and fear and it gets worse the more time she spends around her family—its always the worst from alex and lena, she gets flashes of what happened from alex, gets blood and the crack of bone, the echo of kara getting slammed into a wall or a truck or the pavement. she gets these bits and pieces of horrible what ifs from lena, gets black suits and questions about kryptonian funerals. it’s awful. she doesnt want to be alone when its like this, but stella can hardly stand being around other people, like her own shit is hard enough to deal with, she doesnt need this too

she toughs it out every time tho, bc she’d rather live through it with them all, rather be right there when her mom wakes up than to be somewhere else. her peace of mind isnt worth that much

eventually it spills over bc it has to, stella cant swallow these feelings forever. it’s a few days after the latest scare and stella’s the only kid still at home, the only one that didn’t have to get back to school, so she’s spending the rest of her spring break on the couch with her mom while she recovers, while she recharges. it’s fine one second, then kara gets up to get more popcorn or something and stubs her toe and since she’s still powerless, she actually winces and then stella’s thinking about it, thinking about how close they all came to losing her again and the thoughts and emotions sort of push their way into kara’s mind and stella knows the moment they do bc then kara’s stopped and is giving her this terrible, soft look

by this point, kara knows stella’s patterns like the back of her hand, knows that she wont talk about it until she’s ready, but that she’ll be ready a lot sooner now that kara knows what’s going on. so she doesn’t say anything, just gets more popcorn and makes stella some tea while she’s up. when she comes back to the couch, she pulls her daughter into a tight hug bc the sensory thing—that usually helps when she gets overwhelmed like this, too

i’m sorry you’re carrying this, kara tells her. i’m sorry i can’t help.

stella nods. i know

its almost enough to know that her mother would carry it if she could

#this is v kara and the kids centric tbh #supercorp #supergirl #kara danvers #lena luthor #superbabies #anonymous #human interaction

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