#i love my man my man my man MY MAAAAN

[bbina]

good days plays in my head when i think about chenle

[forcedhesitation]

nothing I write could truly capture the way I feel, having finished corydalis' campaign. god. what a game. what an adventure!

[love-at-first-bite]

WHO SAID THAT!?!?

[stilemawillow]

Loverboy [Jotaro Kujo | Reader]

So, think I met Jotaro about… a month ago? Maybe a bit more. I’m not the bad guy by any means – there’s just followers of the cult all around. White-haired buzzcut guy spewing bullshit about revenge. I’m young and breezy, I want no trouble. I’m no part of no band – no delusions there. I just got friends, need to return favours and hooked on love. See, so that’s the key most times. But also, like, you could call it a release and a sealant at the same time.

I was five when my momma told me stories about love. She ain’t ever love my father, though. There were cigarette butts and liquor bottles all around the house. Nice little picture right there. No modern stuff. Sundresses and hats – she beat my ass when I asked what the weird balloons in my dad’s pockets were for. So, you see, love isn’t all peachy all the time. Hard to fight for it. My momma fought for it constantly. Oh, and when she lost the battle, she was beaten. But like, repeatedly. Wore sunglasses a lot. Didn’t curse, though. Bless her little soul. My father loved too much was all.

I loved a lot like him – high school came easy and popularity was a competition I didn’t bother to win. Was mine to begin with.

I have my dad’s good looks and my momma’s patience. The old man died some two years ago – his lady took off her ring way before but she’s doing good in the nursing home. So I’m what? Young, handsome, loving and just a bit weird. It makes me cool, though. How I got in with the friends I’m currently doing favours for – you could see I had a falling out with a band, then a girl slapped me, and another one, and some pink shoes were in a dumpster down the street, my car bumper wasn’t doing well, I switched locations, ain’t nobody chasing me and, well, it’s a long story.

I’ve personally got nothing against nobody. Unless they disrespect love. And I can tell you Jotaro Kujo’s big on disrespect.

Disrespect this and that and him and her and – who are you to be calling women bitches when they just want a piece? God, you gotta thank them and give them love. So our main guy had a problem, dragged his geezer along for it – if I’m not mistaken, a Frenchman, a cherry-lover and a weird shaman were involved, too. And the fucking dog – tell you the truth, dogs are no best friend, they the devil waiting for a weak spot to lunge at.

So, a merry band goes to kill a vampire with a big following. Of course some are going to get angry. I’m not one of them, I’ve only listened to stories. Here and there, and this one’s a dirtbag, that died, those were nasty, we laughed here and ran there, lots of failure and now we’re here.

I’m not a man who fails – have that as a disclaimer. So, it might be forty days since I met Jotaro now. You know, for a big as fuck disrespecter, he’s trying to be smart and, I gotta give it to him, he manages. Dreams – marine or something biology. Fine with me. Not interesting since it’s got no love inside of it but hey, perfection runs short these days. And I know from experience it’s hard being a good guy.

So, if you’ll be asking how I met Jotaro – we bumped once. Didn’t say sorry or anything. That when I knew the favour will be a breeze when it came to conscience. No guilt can torment me over a guy who don’t even say sorry when he bumps into you. Ah, but that’s not the important point. So, this job takes a bit of devotion and some inspection. I have to be careful with schedules, placements and the time of day. I also need collateral damage. I’m good at picking that shit out. Trust me on this. So I’m doing my thing, following, looking, inspecting, analysing – shouldn’t underestimate me when it comes to analysing.

I can sniff impossible love across a street. Cause some people just stink, you know? Jotaro especially. So it don’t really matter who collateral damage is. All it matters is to find somebody as stinky. And there’s this girl, man, they’ve probably talked twice or something of the sort. Share all their university classes. My momma would laugh if she knew I ever stepped foot inside a university. Back to the point. The girl stinks and Jotaro stinks. A match made in heaven. Pichit will have a fucking blast when I tell him about it later.

So, I got my collateral damage – a smarty pants with terrible hair. She’s got nice ears, though. Not big enough of a redemption but still. Nice feet, too. All I need is the placement and their university’s got this gorgeous fountain. Green stuff around, birds chirping, nice things. If they’re lucky, I’ll pin the time to two in the afternoon so they can have lots of sunlight. But that depends on circumstances, not on me.

Target – check. Collateral damage – check. Placement – check.

I need a time and that’s all up to fate but inspection lets me believe it should be coming along soon. You see, their schedules just barely brush at the fountain each Thursday. For – what? – fifty days now, I been watching the moment come closer and closer. They gotta come in contact or nothing’s gonna work out. But I said, I’m patient like my momma. And then we’ve got about a second to go and the job is done. It’s complicated shit when you’re telling it to somebody dumb. But I need lots of ingredients and, how do I dumb this down? I make prisons out of love. Here you go. Simplest description there is.

I’m hanging around on the rooftop, swinging legs and all, waiting for lunch break. I’ll probably have to hang around for another week before I can get to work but, hey, sandwiches here are pretty good. I have a perfect view of the fountain, too. I push my sunglasses and I see that big disrespecter come out of the building. It’s just the thing. He sits on the side of the fountain.

Some chick comes along begging for love and he’s being rude. And then my pretty collateral damage shows up – opposite direction, heading for him. Not for him, though. I know she sits on the other side of the fountain. But if there’s contact, there’s a miracle. I’m hanging off the edge of my seat. Literally. If I’m not careful, I’ll end up repaying favours from the clouds.

“You, bitch, come over here.” Or so I can picture him saying it. His hand waves. The chick next to him is smiling – wait, shit, there’s a spot on my sunglasses. No, no, she’s frowning. My collateral damage stops in front of them. I lean down further and stick out my tongue in concentration. You know, the worst part is not hearing shit when you gotta keep a distance. Something splatters on my shoulder. Man, this is a brand new suit. Fuck that bird. Oh, this stinks. And while I’m wiping at my suit with my glove – remind me to throw it away immediately after – there’s a giant as fuck splash down by the fountain.

Correction, in the fountain. I nearly gape when I look. Shit, fuck, this is perfect. Golden opportunity if I’ve ever seen one. My collateral damage’s in the fountain, soaked from head to toe. Jotaro probably pushed her. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Oh, this is spicy. She slaps his hand away when he reaches out for some reason. Dude, why you gotta make it worse on the girl you pushed? But this is my moment of contact. And here goes the job.

You gotta meet my buddy – Loverboy. Real cute guy. So I snap my fingers and he snaps his and it’s done. Well, not that quickly, but when we’re out of the loop, it will be. And I’ll still have to wash the freaking suit the bird shat on. Pichit will be paying for it. Now, honestly, all I gotta do is sit and watch the show. Do hope they make it interesting for me.

“What’s going on?” Big wide eyes and clothes sticking to a shivering body.

“Hold still.” A commanding voice. She’s standing in the fountain and she can feel the water creating nasty friction between her socks and her toes. He’s looking around. He’s got the same mean look he does every day. It’s pissing her off because, all of a sudden, everybody’s gone and he’s telling her to hold still like it’ll make people reappear.

“Don’t tell me to sit still, Kujo. This is weird. I need to try to find somebody.” She crosses her arms and his eyes strike her, glaring sternly even when he’s the one sitting down.

“I told you not to move.” He tries to reach for her but she huffs and turns around, crossing the fountain and making water pour on the ground when she steps out and shakes her head before heading for the building.

He glares at her back and cautiously rises from his seat. This is a Stand at work. But whose? He needs to figure out the ability and the range. There’s nobody around when he was surrounded by people a second ago. And why is (Y/N) the only one with him? It has something to do with the ability, he’s sure of it. Either that or she’s the Stand user. A scream echoes and he whips his head in its direction. He sees brain particles splattered on the door frame as it crushes her.

Just let me make a small disclaimer again. I can’t laugh in situations like this because I’ll be found quickly. But, man, seeing Jotaro the disrespecter’s shock when the door takes out my collateral damage – precious. Beyond precious.

And trust me, I don’t like squashing pretty ladies. But this one’s in for a lot of squashing and impaling and whatever else I can think of. Because, you know, I gotta make things plausible. Not just dangerous. And with how little chemistry there’s here, one or the other is sure to walk away from the safe starting point I picked out. I just have to wait for it and bam. But also, I didn’t actually think the door would work. If it hadn’t, I would’ve probably resorted to a bit of legwork. And I always have to kickstart shit because it’s not fun if I just leave them be. We all need a shock factor. Anyway.

First try. First fail. I think I’m aiming for twenty or so. Sounds plausible. Jotaro’s strong and he’s seen some shit so he’ll beat the average ten. But what’s twenty battles when you’re losing the war? Yeah, exactly – nothing. Oh, this will be quick, easy and fun. I love when things are quick, easy and fun.

The same vacant yard. The same building. The doors are intact. Jotaro’s back to sitting down. His eyes widen and he glances at the fountain. She’s there and she makes no attempt to stand up. Wet from head to toe, staring ahead. She can’t see anything.

“Stand still now,” he commands immediately, reaching out a protective hand to prevent any movement in case she tries to be reckless again. This is without a doubt a Stand’s ability. But it doesn’t give him any hints as to the range and the essence of it. It gives him nothing besides the fact they shouldn’t go into the building. It would be safest not to move at all. 

“I died.” Her voice quivers and her shoulders are shaken by violent tremors when he looks down at her. “It was real,” she whispers blankly, eyes wide with horror. His lips purse. He can’t make sense of this just yet but he knows now at least she’s not the Stand user. In that case, he has to protect her. He tells her she’s fine and she registers his presence. “You’re not the one who felt it! Kujo, I fucking died! It--- my fucking arm and my head---“ But she’s frantic and he has to lean over to grasp her shoulder.

“Quiet. I’ll get us out.” He lets it slip and she immediately asks if he knows what’s going on. “No. Not yet.” His eyes are scanning the space. The building seems empty. There’s no place around the yard that can hide a person and a Stand. It could be a long-range. She’s asking him what he knows. He keeps quiet. Approaching the building is dangerous. The opposite direction could be safe. He’ll have to test it. What’s the essence of this ability? Encapsulation, isolation – but a normal human is here, too. He hasn’t encountered such ability before. She’s saying he has to tell her because she died back there. He sighs. “This is the work of a Stand user. Our circumstances are the ability of the Stand.”

“And a Stand is?” She’s staring at him doubtfully while he explains a Stand is the manifestation of the owner’s soul and nobody knows exactly where they originate from. “So… a manifestation of somebody’s soul wiped everybody out and killed me?” She seems more and more dumbstruck by the second. She tries to scoot closer to his edge of the fountain.

“I don’t think everybody’s wiped out.” It would be impossible. A Stand cannot have such instantaneously giant destructive power and wield manipulation of space at the same time. If it did and he was the target, he would’ve died, too. She says that they’ve been wiped out and he shakes his head. “We could’ve been transported.” It’s the most plausible conclusion taking into account everything else.

“What, like an isolated case?” She’s staring up at him while he tries to surmise their surroundings again. Everything is faithful to reality but there are no other life forms besides them two. No birds when there were birds. No insects as far as he can see. It’s a mental trick.

“It’s the only thing I can think of which would allow for a restart the moment you died.” Because bending reality and time like that was impossible even for The World. It could freeze time for seconds but it couldn’t warp the physical world at will. Even Jotaro can’t. And when she asks if this is a mental or physical space because dying felt pretty real to her, he snorts. “It’s a mental space, no doubt. Now I just need to find the Stand user.”

“But if it’s a mental space, he won’t be here,” she argues instantly. His eyes narrow at her face – there’s water trickling down it. He knows she’s smart. He knows she’s quick to soak up information – quicker than him. He likes that about her. She might even prove to not be a nuisance while he’s trying to figure this out.

“So I have to gauge the ability more. If he’s here, I’ll find him. If he’s not, I’ll have to find a way out. He’s affecting the space around us so it’s a relatively long-range Stand. Which means it might be useless in close combat. When we find him, we’re out.” Jotaro stands up and spins in order to inspect the yard from all directions. They shouldn’t near the doors but can they go and check out the opposite side? And where would a Stand hide in here?

“You’re speaking from experience,” she observes solemnly. He spares her one look and doesn’t say anything. This requires more logic than it does strength. “What? So all of this is actually true and I’m supposed to believe it?” She’s just a bit outraged. He makes a step towards the fence on the left.

“Whichever you choose, don’t move.” The order is flat and harsh, and she sits in the fountain, crossed arms and a glare aimed at his back.

“You say, while you’re moving. What are you doing?” He nears the fence and tries to estimate whether movement in any direction signifies danger.

He’s about to look up when he can hear something moving down by his feet. The stone moves quickly but Star Platinum emerges just in time and grabs it as it's about to smash into Jotaro’s face. (Y/N)’s eyes widen at the happening. She can’t see anything but the rock hanging in the air next to Jotaro’s head. It happens way too quickly. Star Platinum is busy when the fence bends and pierces his chest. The pain is so indescribably familiar and he hates it. The sensation of dying isn’t so palpable.

“Seriously? You told me to sit still while you went ahead and died?” Her voice is loud and reproachful and he’s back at the fountain, sitting on the cold stone side while she’s inside, wet from head to toe and scowling at him.

“It wasn’t my intention.” But this proves it doesn’t matter who dies for the setting to restart. It also means the death isn’t truly real – if it was, the job would be done since he’s the target. There’s more to this ability. And surely, there’s a door of opportunity for them to leave its influence.

“Let’s just sit still and talk this time, okay?” She sits with her legs crisscrossed in the fountain and scoots closer. “Who is doing this to us? Not in the sense of a Stand user because I’ll just have to accept that part. I mean, who wants to kill us?” He sighs and says he’s the target since this is a Stand user. “You have how many enemies?” She quirks a brow and he looks at the way she wipes the water off her face. The sunlight makes each drop glimmer.

“I thought none,” he says with an averted gaze. She huffs and gets to clearing the wet hair from her forehead. He glances once and regrets it. Her neck is bare and while she’s flipping the hair behind her shoulders, he sees the way her shirt sticks to her chest.

“So we can’t figure out the person’s identity based on who you’ve spited,” she concludes slowly. “If you’re the target, why am I here?” He instantly dismisses that as unimportant. She gives a firm look. “I think it’s not. Now, I feel like you’re speaking Italian when you’re talking about Stands but they’ve got abilities. This particular one needs me here to be activated. So, is it a random pick or an ingredient?” He hasn’t thought about it but it’s more important to find the Stand user and beat his teeth out.

“I can’t say.” It’s a random pick at best in his opinion. He can’t be concerned with why it’s exactly her. But maybe he won’t be able to beat the Stand user seeing as this is a case of mental isolation. Could be a hallucination, an inner world, a visual trick or a way to manipulate and combine consciousness.

“We have to inspect that. Maybe it’s the way to getting out,” she insists on pursuing what for him is a dead end and he snorts at her adamancy.

“First, there’s no ‘we’ here. Second, all I need to do is find the Stand. Somebody is controlling our surroundings and if they’re confined in a mental space, the Stand has to be here to observe and monitor it.” In the least, the Stand would be present. The user can’t chart out a predictable script for their behavioural changes – he has to monitor and adjust his tactics according to their actions.

“And how do you plan on finding the Stand when we can’t move from the fountain?” She argues with a challenging look, making him glare. “I think my approach is better for our circumstances.” So she crawls out of the fountain carefully and sits next to him, glancing down at his backpack. “Can I use your notebook?” He sighs and waves a hand to convey that she can do whatever she wants. He turns to observe the fence that impaled him. Like the door, it wasn’t plausible for it to move in the way it did. Next to him, the girl chuckles. “This is cute, Kujo. It looks a bit like me.”

“It’s not you.” His head whips so he can observe what she’s talking about. Her fingers are leaving wet prints on his notebook and the page in the back is home to a sketch. He was bored and she was just two rows away. She was also the best subject. Her hair was nice that day. And she always seems to be immersed in classes she enjoys – her expression is very specific then. And pretty.

“It has my signature bun. And those right here are my favourite earrings,” she points out with a smug smile. His jaw clenches and he turns away from the drawing. “You had to look a lot to get the details. But my elbow’s a bit off. You weren’t listening in Anatomy class.” She’s mocking him and her elbow is nudging his arm. He purposefully moves further away and glares at the building to his left.

“Just shut up, (L/N).” But he can feel heat creeping up his neck and crawling into his face. His teeth are gritted. So what if he drew her that one time? It was a mistake anyway. Like when he stares at her. Or asks for her notes. She asks for his, too. They’ve had lunch together a few times. And just before the fucking Stand attacked, he might’ve been on his way to help her out of the fountain after the other girl pushed her and suggested that she wear his jacket.

“Are you embarrassed, Kujo?” She drawls with a smirk and water is dripping from the ends of her hair onto the notebook. She flips to another page so as to not ruin the sketch. “I’d show you how I made a cursive of your name when I was bored in Zoology but it’s drenched.” The offer makes him huff. His eyes are still on the university building on his left. She reaches into his backpack for a pen. “What if this is the link? I mean, us.” He’s about to call it ridiculous when he hears her breath hitch. She’s toppling over and he just barely catches her.

The fucking pen is jabbed into her throat.

She’s choking on the blood and there’s a gurgling sound just barely leaving her lips. His heart freezes at the sight. Her eyes are staring at him pleadingly. He swears he’s never felt this helpless. But also, this death is not real. It’s not real. The pain is hot and terrible but it’s not real. Three blinks later, she tries to say something. Doesn’t manage. And then she’s back in the fountain and the water isn’t turning pink because her blood’s dripping into it.

He lets out a ragged breath and reaches for her. Her eyes are wide, brows pinched together and she grabs his hand with no hesitation, clinging to it like her life depends on it. The shock will become too much for her at some point. He has to get them out before that. He pulls her closer, and slowly coaxes her out of the fountain and next to him. Water’s dripping from her, seeping into his clothes as he lets her cling to his arm for support and her breaths are quick and panicky.

He won’t be parting his eyes from her this time. Not for a fucking second. He’s responsible for this.

“Did you get scared, Kujo? You don’t let people touch you just like that.” She’s trying to mock him but she’s trembling and he tells her to shut up before grabbing his backpack and tossing it across the yard. Her fingers are weakly clutching his jacket. Maybe it’s about time he gave it to her because this might be a mental prison of some sort, but the sensations accompanying every action are very real. “I got scared. I couldn’t breathe. I don’t want us to be here.” Her lips are pursed and slowly pries her hands from his arm so he can take off his jacket.

“I’ll get us out.” He drapes it over her shoulders and she looks up at him, asking if he’ll do it her way. His lips purse. He still sees no sense in that. “Crack the ability by discovering why you’re here?” She nods and swears there’s a connection before asking if Stand abilities have ultimatums. He shakes his head. “They’re usually fit for combat. I haven’t seen such a Stand before,” he concedes with a lowered head. She scoots closer.

“And if there’s a way to get out without fighting it? It could be why I’m here.” He quirks a brow at the inquiry. Getting out without a fight seems too optimistic. And this isn’t supposed to be a puzzle.

“For conditions to be met?” She nods and her hair is wet. She tugs the jacket’s collar so it envelops her back better. It’s too big for her. She’s still shivering when, a minute of silence later, she asks if he has a Stand. “His name’s Star Platinum.” There’s a chance they won’t remember this after they get out.

“And you’ve fought Stands before?” She looks up at him. Her eyes are big and they twinkle in the sunlight. His lips purse as he remembers Egypt.

“I’ve killed their users, too. When a Stand dies, so does the user.” She doesn’t nod but he sees the fleeting shadow of horror on her face. He doesn’t want to scare her but she’s the one asking the questions. Of course, he can choose not to answer them. He doesn’t know why her presence predisposes him to honesty. He’s talkative around her. It’s weird.

“But if this Stand user’s goal is to kill you, he should’ve managed when… you know.” Her brows furrow and she puts a hand to her chin. The jacket slips off her shoulder. He reaches over and adjusts it. “And if the point of this is to restart when either of us dies, its goal lies in another course of action altogether. And maybe that’s why I’m here as an ingredient.” Her theory is as adamant as she is. But if her speculation is true, that means he either has to find the Stand or figure out the conditions he has to meet to get them out.

“What’s the course of action we need to take then?” He knows she’s smart. He respects her because she’s smart. She knows when to talk and when to think. Knows when to act and when to observe. Her intelligence has fascinated him since long before. But she only shakes her head now and says she hasn’t gotten that far. Silence settles again. He thinks about the conditions and the position of the Stand. He thinks about how he can move and act without leaving her alone or putting her in danger.

“Why have you fought Stands before?” She’s curious and he says it’s a long story. Quietly, he admits his mother was in danger. “How long ago was that?” She’s looking up at him and he snorts. He doesn’t like to think about it. When he thinks about it, he remembers Kakyoin. They could’ve studied here together.

“Three years.” And he got over it and kept going but he has so many nightmares it’s unbearable sometimes. He sees the pity slowly crawl over (Y/N)’s features. It makes her nose scrunch a bit at the bridge. Two wrinkles. They’re three when she’s disgusted. And two between the brows when she’s concentrating in class. “Why did you ask for my notes in our first year?” He doesn’t know why he asks it. She snorts and smiles.

“You were so antisocial I wanted to be your friend. You also seemed grumpy all the time. I didn’t actually need them but they were nice. You’re really diligent, Kujo.” The compliment makes him click his tongue before he says that’s not enough to cover up the fact she just called him antisocial. And the pity if there again for a second. “I get it now. So why did you give me your notes?” She asks in return and he rolls his eyes.

“Because I’m not a jerk.” She keeps staring like there’s another reason. He remembers it like it was yesterday – she stopped him after class and roped him into a roundabout introduction before begging for his notes. And he caught her lying because he learned later that the corner of her mouth twitches when she lies. She lied that she didn’t know his name. “Your smile was nice.” He can’t believe the nonsense he’s spilling but she only chuckles.

“Not anymore?” He doesn’t say anything when she teases him but he can deny it. Her smile is still very pretty. “You know, Kujo, that time you asked my favourite colour.” They were having lunch. She asked his. And then she lied that she didn’t know her own but he didn’t press. Now her smile didn’t twitch. “It’s actually your eyes. If it weren’t for the muscles and the dark and mysterious aura, you’d have fangirls because of them.” He scowled at the mention of fangirls and she snickered. “What? You don’t enjoy your fangirls?”

“No.” He hates them, in fact. Because he’s here to study, not to be surrounded by hordes of obnoxious girls. She is the only girl whose presence he can tolerate. It might have something to do with the smile.

“And if I was a fangirl? You’d be insulting me.” But he immediately says she’s not, to which she nudges him with her elbow. “True. My approach is way calmer. And better. Staying quietly in the periphery actually brings me a lot closer.” In order to prove it, she scoots closer. Her shoulder presses against his arm and he decides to leave it be. Then she jumps up. “Wait for a second, that’s it!”

“Stay down.” He grabs her wrist and tries to pull her down but she fights and turns to face him. She’s standing in front of him and their heights are levelled like this. He can see her eyes flicker excitedly as she tugs – not to free her wrist from his hold but to drag him along.

“No, it’s fine. We need to go. Inside, right now.” He says her name when she attempts to rush off towards the building and his fingers clutch her wrist harder. He can’t let her be harmed again. “Hear me out, Kujo. You said the Stand at least has to be here to monitor us, right?” She talks the same way when she’s cracked the code to a nasty question they’ve been asked in class. “And we don’t get harmed unless we step away from the fountain or come in contact with anything that can be used as a weapon. This means the Stand is watching us from the periphery – from a place that lets it analyse which objects it can use on us. I doubt it can see through walls.”

“So the building is a safe place,” he finishes her thought and she grins.

“Exactly. And it kept me from going inside the first time because the door was all it could see.” It sounds logical. It sounds too logical and it also sounds like a weakness they can use to their advantage. He can’t leave her alone so he’ll take her along. He stands and her wrist wriggles in his hold. He lets go and follows her towards the entrance. What’s the only place that allows a perfect view of the fountain?

“It’s on the roof.” His eyes dart upwards. They’re closing in on the door when he sees the railing on the steps leading to the entrance rip itself from the concrete and bend in her direction. He acts quickly but not wisely. He pushes her out of the way but he’s the one who suffers for it. A scream gets stuck at the back of her throat. The door comes undone and pierces him.

So, I gotta tell you that love is all about sacrifice. That happening down there is no sacrifice to me. I mean, love is about sacrificing others, not yourself. Love is about power, too. My old man liked to sacrifice others and my momma was powerful – they had love right there, somewhere between the bottles and the weird balloons. Whatever happens, Jotaro the disrespecter can’t love. Not really. Maybe his own mom, sure, but like – a piece of work like the collateral damage? Yeah, no way. I’m confident about that. Like I’m confident about a lot of other stuff.

Like when Pichit was about to break his leg on the rollercoaster or when Don lost his shoes and I told him the racoon got them. They don’t believe shit, those friends of mine. But it’s fine because we have our bromance and sometimes, we trust each other. Like they trust me with this favour and I trust they’ll wash my suit after it’s done. Loverboy, I gotta tell you, has real good eyes. Like an eagle. And sure, he needs a spot to watch from but I always pick a good spot for him. He’s my best friend because, you know, he’s me in a way. We both got good style. We love a lot and we hate people who can’t love. Strongest bond ever.

I think I got him when I was sixteen or something of the sort. Could’ve been seventeen. But he was no scary thing to me. Actually, he was my buddy right off the bat. Took me a while to figure out what he does but, hey, every friendship needs time to blossom. Kind of like when you’re getting to know a girl and she can make a cartwheel but she also wears flip-flops often. You gotta measure the sacrifice. Do I love the cartwheel or hate the flip-flops? But Loverboy and I got no such problems. We’re a good team and we’re strong in our own way. My momma used to say a friend’s there for you through thick and thin. No kidding. And that---

Ah, shit. Why do I have to waste so much time preventing stuff? I don’t fail so we got that. But seriously – why’s she protecting Jotaro now? Welp, here goes the sharp fence. I didn’t pick the fountain as a starting point for nothing. I can do this all day and they can’t stop it. Can’t figure it out anyway. What, like they’re geniuses? And I’m told Jotaro likes to work alone so there ain’t no chance in hell he’s going to warm up to teamwork, much less feelings besides frustration and helplessness when he’s in danger. He don’t give half a fuck for my collateral damage, dragging her along or not. If he leaves her alone, I shoot my shot. I don’t miss so that’s that.

Oh, how cute, he’s giving her his jacket. If it was me, I would’ve straight-up told her to take off her clothes. But the disrespecter’s not experienced or interested enough in true love tactics. Which proves to me I’ll be out of here and on my way in about… a second. It’s always a second anyway. Less sometimes. I’m good at mind games and not so much at calculation. But this don’t take no calculation. It takes patience. I got more of that than them. More love, too. Oh, here goes again. Let’s do the window this time. Haha. Quick, easy and fun. I’m having so much fun. What’s that? Oh. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

They’re inside. Shit. I won’t be telling Pichit this part. If he asks, they never got away from the fountain. If you try to tell, well, who’s he gonna believe? You or me? Yeah, I thought so, too. Now I need to do some legwork. If you’ll excuse me.

“I think we’ll be fine here for a while.” He watches her slump against the whiteboard in the classroom on the second floor with a sigh. Water is dripping from her clothes and she grabs a marker from the professor’s desk. “Let’s get down to thinking. This is either a time capsule, an isolated loop or whatever. And we’re here. What do we have in common?” She’s writing on the whiteboard and he’s leaning against the first row where she usually sits.

“Our major,” he joins in the speculations reluctantly, making her shake her head. She writes down their names next to each other and hums.

“I’m thinking more character-wise. It’s a bit like a grumpy-sunshine trope.” He clearly doesn’t understand it and she clearly doesn’t want to explain. She draws a small raincloud next to his name and a small sun next to her own. He scoffs. “So, we’re opposites more often than not. We interact often. But why today?” He instantly says they can’t be sure whether the Stand user chose today purposefully or just activated his Stand the moment he got here. “The fountain’s a good spot he shouldn’t have known about, though. Visitors aren’t allowed on campus so he’s either sneaked in or is part of the student body.” For some reason, Jotaro doubts the latter. He would notice a Stand user in the student body.

“You’re saying he’s inspected the place?” He asks with a frown and she points out the fountain is a perfect starting point that can be guarded at all times from the roof. He admits it is. This has taken some research at least. The Stand user would have to familiarise himself with the place. Which means Jotaro has gotten too rusty from living normally to notice his presence.

“Again.” She taps the marker against their names and draws his attention back to the board. “We’re opposites. What do we make of that?” He makes nothing of it because the Stand user’s goal is to get rid of him. By all means, it’s the only thing he can aim to achieve.

“Nothing. It’s a useless train of thought.” Jotaro snorts in a gruff voice and she tucks her wet hair behind her ear and frowns in disagreement.

“And I think it’s useful.” The moment she argues is the moment a stiff realisation crosses her features. It’s a fleeting instant and then the words drop from her mouth. “Opposites attract.” Jotaro knows that’s the law of magnets. So what of it in this case? She grows frantic the more she explains: “If this is about opposite-sex isolation, it could’ve been any fangirl of yours. You even had one close by. The difference is… you don’t like them.” She’s written down their sex and squints at the board before looking at him. “Have you heard about the experiments where they put a man and a woman in a dangerous simulation and observe the spike of their behavioural changes?”

“No, and I don’t see what that’s got to do with anything.” He truly doesn’t. She can’t just weave a Stand ability out of thin air and unsupported speculations. Abilities in Stands are fit for battle, too – not social experiments. They usually differ according to their owner’s character, temperament and ideology but the main rule stands – they’re meant for combat.

“Could be nothing or everything. This Stand’s ability reminds me a lot of that. A man and a woman are in an isolated space with their adrenaline constantly being stimulated. In situations like these, the couple tends to bond way quicker.” She’s blabbering and he crosses his arms, watching her sceptically.

“You’re not saying this Stand is based on a social experiment meant to simulate love.” It’s audible how much he truly doesn’t believe in her theory.

“Stimulate, not just simulate,” she corrects with a huff. “Pairs who underwent the experiment had a spike in compatibility and are often recorded as dating in the aftermath even when they went into it as strangers.” He can feel she’s lost the point of this. They’re talking about experiments that have nothing to do with their predicament and the Stand is probably looking for them. The building has five floors. How long would it take for it to catch up to their location? Jotaro suspects another five minutes at best. Two if she keeps being this loud.

“So the point is to fall in love and we’ll get out of here.” He glares when she smiles in approval. “Can you hear how ridiculous that sounds? And even if it’s true, how would the Stand user know how we interact? And wouldn’t he rather put me in with somebody I hated and had no chance at all of becoming fond of?” He might’ve accidentally indicated he prefers her to any other girl he could’ve ended up with but she goes along with it, like she hasn’t considered anything else.

“Think about it, though. That might’ve been his exact thought. He won’t put you with any of your fangirls because they like you already and they show it a lot. Maybe he doesn’t know you so he’s just watched you and based on observation – I’m the only girl who appears to be disinterested.” She indirectly hints at something, too. He’s not dumb enough to miss it.

“Appears?” He echoes and the pointed intonation makes her lips purse as she considers what to say. She puts the market back on the professor’s desk and looks into his eyes. The green mingles with a bright baby blue and creates the perfect turquoise shade. She gulps.

“Sure. If he’s had a limited observational period – two weeks or something to pick me out, he would’ve seen that we barely talk and I don’t swoon when I see you.” And Jotaro instantly defends that it’s exam season and they’re busy, which just makes her nod along. “Exactly. He might not know that. It might just be a miscalculation on his end. This is good.” She seems almost excited to announce it. He huffs and pushes himself off the desk. He thinks he can hear something.

“You’re trying to convince me the point of this loop is to fall in love. It’s ridiculous,” he states once he’s positioned right across the door. He’s standing between it and her while she asks what else he can think of. The answer’s immediate: “That we’ve given the Stand enough time to sniff us out.” And when he puts a protective hand to tell her to stand back, her eyes widen. Maybe she can hear the steps, too.

“I love you.” But his eyes are pinned to the door and she’s tugging on his jacket. “Say it back.” Her fingers tremble and her voice wavers. He won’t be saying it because even if that’s the point, nothing will happen if it’s just words prompted by survival instincts. Then both of them can hear the windows behind her vibrate.

He turns around and cradles her head to his chest just as the glass explodes. She screams. Such a fucking cowardly Stand – can’t even use its own strength to overpower him. Glass shards are piercing his face. Blood drips on her hair. He has to lure him out and fight him. Star Platinum is on edge, waiting for guidance.

“Just say it!”

But he doesn’t have the time to part his lips when the door slams open. His vision is impaired – one of his eyes is positively blind and the other is full of blood. He feels her wrestle out of his hold and she can’t see Star Platinum but she stands in the way. It’s then he realises it might not be wise to let his Stand be harmed. But he doesn’t want her to be harmed either. He blindly reaches for her in an attempt to tug her back. Her arm’s in his hold and it’s too late. Through a red veil, he can see the blurry shape of a tall pink figure with flaming hair. And when her body falls back in his arms, the hole in her chest is visible. His heart flinches inside his chest. Star Platinum’s unharmed.

And then they're back at the fountain. In an instant, he turns around and his feet splash inside the water, glued to the stone under as his arms extend to he can hold her shoulders. Same exact time, she’s crawling closer to the edge with her fingers hastily reaching for his face. Horror is coursing through their veins and they think one and the same thing when their eyes meet: You’re fine. The relief is grand and visible, almost tangible in the air. No words are spoken as he draws her closer and she complies until she’s on her knees and her arms just barely envelop his back, fingers desperately clutching his jacket. His digits tangle in her hair. His free hand is splayed over her back, between the shoulder blades where the hole was.

“You were scared,” she mocks in a weak voice, face buried in his chest as he exhales, nose burrowed in her wet hair.

“Shut up.” The command makes her chuckle. He was scared shitless. He’s angry, too. Then she parts from him and her hands are damp as they cup his jaw. She slowly rises to her feet and he looks up. Her thumbs rub against his skin and when their eyes meet, there’s the rage of a thousand suns in her hues. He likes the sight of it. He hasn’t seen this side of her before.

“Let’s smash this guy’s face in.” She sounds deadly serious and he agrees. His fingers slowly wrap around her wrists and he stands up, head slowly turning towards the roof. Now they know where the Stand is. He’ll take her along and Star Platinum will be her bodyguard in case the fucking coward tries to pull another trick. If this is a mental space, Jotaro might be allowed the pleasure of beating up the Stand on his own.

When they step out of the fountain and kick their backpacks in the opposite direction, the fence acts up. It bends and its foundations tear the ground apart in their attempt to shoot in their direction. The attack is spoiled when Star Platinum prevents contact. And (Y/N) gapes at the fence suspended in the air, then he nudges Jotaro’s side and hums.

“I’m assuming I can’t see your Stand but is he, like, strong enough to rip out one of the sharp edges from the fence for me?” And before Jotaro can tell her that’s unneeded, Star Platinum does exactly as he’s told. She blinks at the fence that seems to be breaking on its own. Jotaro glares at his Stand. “I just think I need a way to defend myself. I took one year of fencing in high school.” And the rest of the fence drops to the ground but one metal rod with a sharp tip hangs in the air in front of her. She takes it from Star Platinum with her smile blindly aimed up. “Thank you very much, Star. He can hear me, right?” She glances at Jotaro, who only scowls.

“Right. And he’s being way too complaisant.” She chuckles at the sour note in his voice.

“You are, technically. A manifestation of your soul and will, if I remember correctly.” Her smile is bright and teasing, and he snorts.

When they head towards the door, a few stones try to create trouble. They evade the railing with no casualties and Star Platinum wrecks the door before it can collapse. Once they’re inside, the danger is gone. Jotaro’s walking ahead and she’s in the middle with Star Platinum behind her.

When they get to the stairs leading to the rooftop, the group stops and exchanges looks. They’re quietly ascending the stairs, Jotaro’s the one who breaks the lock on the door to the roof and (Y/N) clutches her weapon a bit tighter. He’ll make sure she doesn’t need to use it. When he slams the door open, the Stand is caught off guard. Instead of fighting, it adheres to its cowardly ways. Only Jotaro can see it.

He gives chase and she’s behind him, following even when she can’t see their target. The Stand is cornered easily and, what’s more, when it tries to use its ability to make a random inanimate object attack them, both attempts are foiled. It’s probably weird for (Y/N) to sit still, unaware that Star Platinum is beating up the other Stand while Jotaro observes.

One of the punches seems to hit the switch.

God, this hurts. My momma didn’t teach me enough to deal with pain. And what’s this unfairness? The bad guy isn’t supposed to win. I’m not supposed to fail. I can’t fail. This favour’s supposed to be quick, easy and fun. I love it when things are quick, easy and fun. My jaw might be broken. And my ribs. I can barely move. Fuck, I have to get out of here. I have to get out of here. This wasn’t planned. This can’t be happening. The bad guy can’t win.

And what if I was told not to underestimate him? I didn’t. It was all perfect. So why was he working with my pretty collateral damage? He’s not supposed to work in a team. They’re not supposed to get out before they off themselves. Fuck. I have to run. I have to run far and Pichit has to wash my suit and pay for the goddamn hospital bill. I ain’t taking any jobs after this. I don’t care about the followers or the favours. Fuck my friends, they didn’t even warn me this could happen.

Ah, I just want to go back to my flat with Loverboy and order take-out. I want shiitake mushrooms and shrimp. My momma used to make them tasty. Fuck.

Everything is loud and bright. Birds are chirping and a fly is buzzing by the top of the fountain. The noises are everywhere – so many people talking at once it’s almost deafening at first. Jotaro is blinking at the water splashing around inside the fountain. There seems to be a small rainbow where the sun hits the miniature drizzle just right. (Y/N) is inside, wet from head to toe and staring up at him with parted lips and wondrous eyes.

Both of them are overwhelmed by the noise and the colours and the people. Some are having lunch, others are talking in small groups, walking around, crossing the yard, standing still, laughing, joking, and complaining. Voices and people everywhere. Even the girl who pushed (Y/N) into the fountain is still at Jotaro’s side, looking down at them with a scowl.

Everything went back to the instant they were transported by the Stand’s ability.

Jotaro gets the very intense urge to get in the fountain and hug her. She, in turn, is struggling with her own wish to jump and tackle him to the ground in front of everybody. Instead, she grins up at him and he offers her a hand. This time, she takes it. His fangirl doesn’t enjoy the sight. He couldn’t care less but she obviously has a vengeful side to her because once she’s standing to her feet, at least three people are looking at her wet form and Jotaro helps her jump out of the fountain, she slowly lets go of his hand and aims a big smile at the fangirl.

“Thank you for this, Hori. I’m indebted to you and I like how my hair looks when it’s wet. I’ll buy you lunch tomorrow, okay?” The girl blinks at her, utterly stupefied and just a bit disturbed. (Y/N) turns to Jotaro and smiles at him, too. “Now, should we go?” He sighs and they hold onto their backpacks while rounding the fountain. Jotaro knows they’re heading to the rooftop.

“You didn’t make a scene,” he remarks on their way into the building. She’s just a bit wary of the door. Her shoes squeak down the hallway and people are staring at her weirdly. She’s not used to it because she forgets her appearance is supposed to inspire confusion.

“You’re taking me out on a date later, Kujo. She deserves gratitude.” The quip makes the dark-haired male glance down at her doubtfully. He has to admit maybe he doesn’t mind the idea of taking her out on a date. Most of all when it would’ve taken him way longer to get out if he’d been on his own. Still, he’s just a bit surprised at how well she’s taking this – mostly the aftermath that might’ve left her scarred. He hands her his jacket and she drapes it over her shoulders. “Thanks. How about you don’t kill the guy? I want to ask him about my theory.”

“You look quite unaffected by the experience, (L/N).” The remark makes her lips purse. Even if the death wasn’t real, the sensations were quite on point. He glimpses momentary discomfort on her face before she lets out an airy chuckle.

“I think we’re close enough to use first names at this point. And also, I might be a bit more adaptable than I thought.” In spite of that, Jotaro stays mad at the stupid fuck who intervened in their normal lives. She would’ve been better off not living this. They’re climbing the stairs and the lock on the rooftop door is already broken when they arrive. Jotaro opens the door and expects a fearsome enemy’s attack. He’s not prepared for the disfigured bleeding mess on the floor. Next to him, (Y/N)’s eyes widen in fright and her nose scrunches up. Three wrinkles for disgust.

“G-Get away from me!” The guy draws back in horror, splayed on the ground and trying to crawl back. He has two pink tresses in his blond hair. “F-fucking psychos! How did you---“

“Let me stop you right there,” (Y/N) says, stepping forward and glaring down at his bloody face. As far as Jotaro can see, he’s got a broken nose, a split brow and two busted teeth. His ribs are probably cracked. “We’ll walk you out of the university premises and you won’t come back ever. But before that, I want to ask you about your Stand’s ability. It’s a mental space, right?” The guy blinks at her.

“A loop, yea. B-But you’re fucking crazy and I don’t have to answer any questions.” His voice comes out wheezy and squeaky. He’s shaking in fear. Jotaro quirks a brow at his defiant behaviour and (Y/N) glances at the dark look on his face.

“I think you’ll prefer it to the other option.” She’s not smiling but her voice is upbeat and placid. “Now, since it’s a loop in a mental space, was there a way for us to get out without beating your Stand?” She isn’t nearly as disturbed by the sight of the beaten-up man. Jotaro thinks this much is enough although he wouldn’t be against some more. An additional punch or two just to be safe. The guy spits out a spiteful spoonful of blood and snorts.

“Yeah, the disrespecter here had to give up on shit a-and off himself because you’re not compatible at all and---“

“So we had to fall in love or kill ourselves?” She cuts off with wide eyes, making Jotaro’s lips purse. The guy at their feet growls in outrage and points up at the dark-haired Stand user.

“T-That’s the whole point! He can’t love shit and you’re the perfect collateral damage because you barely talk to him!” His words would have made sense if it weren’t for her theory. She’s grinning and her hands are on her hips when she tips her chin proudly and looks up at Jotaro, who only averts his gaze in spiteful defeat. He shouldn’t have let her come along. She could’ve gone through life without the knowledge she was right.

“I told you! I was right the whole time!” Her finger jabs into his biceps and she tugs on the jacket around her shoulders while clearing her throat and looking down at the guy again. He’s staring at her like she’s crazy. He probably thinks they’ll kill him or something. “I figured it out. Without the part about killing ourselves. It’s a smart move but… we actually like each other, I think.” She gestures at them and the guy’s face contorts in utter disbelief. Jotaro clicks his tongue at the pathetic sight.

“So thanks for the date.” His deep voice makes (Y/N) grin.

“Y-You weren’t supposed to… Y-You can’t possibly, I watched you! You hate everybody! A-And---“

“Let’s get you out of here, huh? You’re pretty shaken up.” She crouches in front of the guy and he doesn’t dare strike her for fear Jotaro will act faster. They force him to his feet and he’s shaking like a leaf. Jotaro’s the one who has to support him on their way down the stairs. “Do you have a car or should we call an ambulance?” But he’s nearly catatonic because of the shock and doesn’t answer. “I didn’t think you’d beat the sense out of him, Jotaro.” She shoots Jotaro a look of reproach and he huffs. 

“Let’s just walk him out and leave him outside.” Less than three minutes, they’re sneaking out of the side door leading to the parking lot. She’s wet from head to toe and they’re helping a bleeding man limp between the cars. When they reach the side entrance, Jotaro lets the Stand user slump down to the ground against the fence and glares at him. (Y/N)’s the one who crouches down, grips his nose and harshly pushes to the left. The guy screams and bites down on his tongue.

“I hope it hurt like a bitch. That’s for the long-term paranoia I’ll have around doors. And for making me see the guy I like being in pain.” Jotaro’s eyes widen at the action and her words, and then she stands to her feet, leaving the Stand user to whimper in pain while she heads back to the building. “Do you have anything to say to me about my theory?” She teases when Jotaro opens the door for her.

“It’s a bullcrap ability that wasn’t supposed to exist at all,” he states with a huff. She smiles and says it’s enough that he’s a bit spiteful in his rejection, then complains that she needs dry clothes to attend her next class. He hums and he knows it’s out of character when he suggests: “We can skip.”

“I didn’t think you were a bad boy, Jotaro.” She smirks and he clicks his tongue. “We do deserve rest after this. Might’ve been less than a second in reality but all the stress drained me. Are you hungry?” But both of them know neither had time to enjoy lunch and the experience messed with their heads in terms of orientation through time. He nods and she’s very transparent in her offer. “Come over so I can change and maybe I can cook for us.”

“Traditional?” He questions with a quirked brow and suggests omelettes and miso soup. He’s on board. And when they’re heading for the main entrance, she asks if he thinks the guy will try to attack him again. He sees the uncertainty on her face and shakes his head. “His Stand is the most cowardly thing I’ve seen. He wasn’t much better. He won’t risk it.”

“It’s weird how he accidentally picked the right people,” she muses with a hum. “He was so shocked we worked together, too. Do others think we don’t get along, too?” He thinks whoever even cares enough to be acquainted with them is pretty much aware they’re on good terms. And some – the ones she calls his fangirls – might even be suspicious regarding more. She wouldn’t be getting pushed into fountains otherwise even though Jotaro is greatly annoyed by the fact girls have turned pursuing him into a competition with him as the prize.

“Do you care about that?” He glances down at her and sees her tug his jacket and burrow her nose in the collar with a thoughtful hum. She’s cute sometimes.

“Depends. Maybe not.” So he thinks the conversation is done for the time being. Less than a minute late, she asks: “Hey, Jotaro, that one time we got to the classroom – would it have worked if you’d said it?” He knows exactly what she means and his blood runs cold in nervousness at the mention. Seeing as he refuses to answer, she nudges his arm with her elbow. He won’t say it. “Oh, come on, we survived a shitload together, you can tell me that at least.” Her eyes are twinkling up at him pleadingly.

“We’ll never know,” he concludes in a gruff voice. He’s scowling when she says she can just get the guy to activate his Stand’s ability again and have them test her theory. But there will be no need for that. “I’ll just beat him up again.” He’s glaring, tipping his hat lower, and she laughs. It’s a nice sound.

“You’re red, Jotaro.” She’s annoying. Annoyingly smart, too. His face is red, she’s smiling knowingly and she’s pretty even when she’s annoying. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to. It would’ve worked.

[rainymoodlet]

i can’t believe i’ve never shown y’all the absolute HUNK @dreamstatesims made for lil old me!!! his name is marquise goméz and he is just absolutely gorgeous, isn’t he? 😍

[calyptramoths]

I FINISHED THE DREAM THIEVES. HOLY SHIT. SPOILERS IN TAGS.

[2811y]

besties i caught the pick deftones threw out into the crowd FUCK W ME!!!

[hollylovely]

JIMMY 1V3 IN MCC

WHAAAAAATTTT

[toastsnaffler]

ugh had to get up bc I'm too awake to fall back asleep and started getting hunger cramps

[radiosummons]

My sister has been showing me episodes of OG Trigun--mostly in preparation for Trigun Stampede--but also because it's one of her favorite manga of all time.

And holy SHIT I cannot even begin to explain how fucking batshit this show is. Just hearing Johnny Yong Bosch's voice alone immediately sent me back at least fifteen years.

I have watched all episodes of OG Trigun while drunk, high and sober. And regardless of my state of inebreiation, I was always left with the exact, inescapable feeling of wanting to fucking die from the sheer nostalgic cringe and insanity of it all. I hate this show. I love this show. I'm fucking obsessed.

So, to all those who are curious (or would just like a mini idea of how to compare OG Trigun with Trigun Stampede)--here is my comprehensive list of things that ACTUALLY happened in Trigun that make me go absolutely batshit just thinking about them:

The sheer insanity of the--balls to the walls, barely held together with ducktape, spit and shoestring--of a plot, all with apparently little to no accuracy to the manga whatsoever. This both amuses and horrifies my sister.

The absolute refusal on the part of the anime to actually explain literally anything. Like the fact that the show takes place in space. Or why humanity is on a desert planet. Or what Plants are, why they're important, why they're there, literally ANYTHING.

Seriously, if you've only ever watched the anime you would have no fucking clue what the Plants are or what they even do. And THEY'RE LITERALLY ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT BITS OF LORE/A HUGE PART OF THE PLOT OF THE ENTIRE FUCKING MANGA.

A major bit of Trigun's lore/setting is just straight up the events of Wall-E.

Johnny Yong fucking Bosch as Vash's English VA. Enough said.

Vash--by simply existing and (mostly) through no direct fault of his own--is capable of wrecking such sheer and complete utter devastation that there's an actual insurance policy people can file after their town is destroyed in the aftermath of him visiting. Iconic.

Monev is just Spiderman's Venom but with a purple and orange reskin. This was intentional on part of the creator as he is obsessed with Venom. Good on him.

This is only specific to the English Dub (we switched to the original sub for the more "serious" episodes, calm down), but HOLY FUCK the absolutely atrocious line deliveries somehow make the show even worse and yet ultimately so much funnier all at the same time!

Millions Knives is the name of Vash's twin brother.

Vash is bisexual. There are multiple occassions where he will call a random male character "Cute" or "Cutie." Somehow, I am not the least bit surprised.

Christianity exists. And the Church trains orphans to be assassins. This makes perfect sense.

"LUUV AND PEEEEAAACCCCCEEE!!!!"

In the second episode of the series (English Dub), there's an actual scene where an old man and his grandson LOUDLY lament the absolute devastation of their home in the most inappropriately cheerful and candid way possible. And then the fucking kid follows that up by just singing out of fucking nowhere "~Bad times are here LALALALALA!!!!!~"

Vash is part gun.

According to "company regulations," as insurance workers Milly and Meryl are not allowed to take part time jobs. They later take part time jobs. My broke ass resonated too fucking hard with this bit.

"Oh, maaaan! Why can't I just get a break?! Death and poverty like me so much, they've brought friends!" Fucking. Mood.

At one point, Vash does the crab walk to dodge a barrage of bullets. This is, surprisingly, quite effective.

"I'll whack you, mister!"

Legato's introduction is him sitting down on a bench and then PULLING A HOT DOG OUT OF A PAPER BAG WITH A HUMAN HEAD IN IT!!!!

Legato has his own personal saxophone player that just follows him everywhere???????

"Oh my. I'm about to go down in ~fllaaaaaammeesssss!~"

Wolfwood.

In EP 16, someone just starts randomly scatting in the background for no reason. No explanation is ever offered.

"My name is .... VASH DA STAMPEDE-DUUUH!!!!!"

Also in EP 16, one of the villains for that episode sounds, deadass, exactly like Jar Jar Binks. I am not joking.

Legato can blood bend.

There's a mini episode dedicated to Milly and Meryl. Vash shows up for five seconds hiding in a trash can. The joke writes itself.

"The DEADLY DODGEBALL HEAD!!! A simple technique to hold the ball in place with INTENSE SUUUCTION!! Try this at home! ;)"

Knives eats an apple, cuts his own hair and enters his impromptu emo arc.

Legato gets horny over the idea of Vash crying. Idk what to tell you, man.

Wolfwood shoots a child. Granted, said child was gonna try to kill Vash and a bunch of orphans. But still.

Vash makes up a dark song about murdering and killing people. The villains of that episode proceed to roast him for his shit lyrics.

Wolfwood doesn't understand why everyone is mad at him for KILLING A CHILD.

"I meditate diligently every morning. The subjects are life and love ... I quit after three seconds."

The actually downright amazing OST, that has no right to be as good as it is. No joke, one of the best anime OSTs I have ever heard in my life.

"And if you're still having doubts, check out my 100% accurate gunmanship!" *proceeds to shoot directly at the sky only then for a black cat to fall directly on his head. The cat's fine btw*

At a certain point, Vash fakes his identity, gets a disguise and goes under a false name. Said false name being "Eriks." He looks like if someone ran Hohenheim through the washer and then hung him on a clothesline for a week. I have ... no fucking words.

"What is this strange phenomena? Is it some sort of strange and twisted Christian science!?"

For as menacing as they make Legato out to be, he sure does shit all in the grand scheme of things. Also he looks like he raids Seto Kaiba's closet on the DL and duels monsters on weekends.

Vash will randomly have Bishie eyes. Arguably, his most Bishie moment is right after Wolfwood punches him in the face. I'll let you infer what you want from this.

Rem randomly appears out of nowhere to taunt Vash with nonsense riddles and haikus. No explanation is ever given until EP 17 for who Rem is, why she keeps reappearing in Vash's mind, if she's even a real person or just someone Vash made up, etc. Because of this, it just looks like Vash keeps receiving American Beauty-style rose shower psychic attacks while a random woman just spouts absolute nonsense at him. There is no way this explanation will prepare you for the actual experience of watching it.

 "I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz-" *prolonged pause* "-Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser the Third. Don't hestitate to call."

Vash gets adopted by an old woman and her granddaughter. It's actually kind of sweet.

A minor villain in EP 18 demands that Vash strip and then act like a dog. He proceeds to do both without a single objection. Wolfwood pulls down his sunglasses and leers at Vash's naked ass. My sister has informed me that this is actually canonical.

Rem is a hyper Christian.

Wolfwood takes personal offense to a burlesque dancer being absolute shit at dancing. Honestly ... I can't even argue with him.

"Hey, 'Thou Shalt Not Kill,' REMEMBER!? WHAT KIND OF CHURCH MAN ARE YOU!!!?"

Vash saves a town's Plant through the power of Bishie.

While trying to save a child, Vash and Wolfwood both get sucked into quicksand. Said child just watches them go into the ground. I would have done the same.

Milly, Vash and Wolfwood decide to share drinks and before any of them even take a single shot, Milly decides to strip naked. Vash and Wolfwood are very pleased by this. Meryl is not.

"WHOSE idea was it to USE THE GRENADE!!!?? He can't be identified for the reward if he's a pile of pulp, YOU DUMBASS!!!!"

Wolfwood calls Vash pathetic. This kickstarts yet another existential crisis within Vash.

"Thank GOD you asked! It's a long story, although it's kind of a short one."

For literally no reason at all, child Knives decides to embrace his Anti-Christ symbolism and goes full Joker mode. This is not at all accurate to the manga.

Vash and Knives are aliens/Plants. Rem thinks they're actual Christian angels. Deadass.

Milly forces Wolfwood to pretend to be her baby daddy for a whole episode. For pudding. Yup.

Vash enters a dom/sub relationship with a Pokemon gym leader looking lady and they engage in extremely explicit pet play.

Anyway, watch OG Trigun. If you've ever watched any sort of anime abridged series, it will definitely make things a little easier for you. There are definitely too many points at which this show feels like a YouTube Poop and I mean in that best and worst possible way.

Also Meryl is Best Girl. I will not budge on this.

[bywons]

DEAR LOOOORD WHEN I GET TO HEAVEN PLEASE LET ME BRING MY MAAAAN WHEN HE COOOMES TELL ME THAT YOU'D LET HIM IN FATHER TELL ME IF U CAAAN ALL THAT GRACE ALL THAT BODY ALL THAT FACE MAKES ME WANT TO PARTY HE'S MY SUN HE MAKES ME SHINE LIKE DIAMOOOONDS

OH DEAR LORD I WOULD NEVER COMPLAIN OMGEEEEE I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS JUNGWON I MIGHT JUST COLLAPSE AND DIE AND FAINT I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT IN DIZZY RAAAHHHH MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN

[thewritetofreespeech]

Could I request Ichigo with a short and petite girlfriend that send a grown man flying with a punch?

*so rukia?? 😂*

Ichigo Kurosaki + superpower punch GF

“Do you think we should get popcorn for everyone?”

“Hmmm….Chad would probably like some.” Ichigo replied after a moment of thought. “Ishida doesn’t it food from ‘a stand’. Something about sanitation requirements? Orihime is gonna need her own because she likes to put furikake and spicy cheese sauce on hers.”

“Where would she get furikake at a movie theater?”

“She brings it in her purse.”

The group was meeting up that afternoon to see a movie and enjoy the AC on this hot summer day. What they were seeing didn’t really matter, just the time spent together.

Coming from different directions, Ichigo and [Y/N] planned to arrive first and claim seats. The theater closer to their neighborhood than anyone else. [Y/N] said that she would just go ahead and buy the tickets and everyone could pay her back, since she got paid this week and it was easiest. But Ichigo knew that she was just doing it to be nice. Not expecting to get paid back if her friends didn’t have it. He loved the generous aspect of her.

“Hey. You kids.” The pair stop, despite their best instincts, and turn around to see some bum wander out of a side street. “Got any change?”

“We don’t. Sorry.” Ichigo replied. Taking [Y/N]’s hand and already starting to walk on.

“Come on maaaan. Help me out. I haven’t eaten in dayssss.”

“Maybe we should help him?” [Y/N] whispered to him, but Ichigo shook his head no. He got a bad vibe and people like this would take off your hand when you offer them a hand out.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!” As bad vibes indicated, the man got angry at being ignored and lunged out to grab [Y/N]’s purse.

“Hey!” Ichigo shouted, prepared to do something. Before he could, however, [Y/N] had his wrist in a death grip and preforming a single handed arm throw back into the alley and into a wall.

“Don’t grab things that don’t belong to you.” [Y/N] scolded the dizzy & disoriented man, who may have had a concussion now. “I need to wash my hands now.”

“I could have taken care of that guy for you.” Ichigo replied as they continued their trip to the theater. As if nothing happened.

“I know. But I may not be able to beat up Hollows, but I can certainly handle some dumb guy. Don’t you remember how we met?”

Ichigo smiled softly back at [Y/N]’s big grin. How could he forget. He fallen head over heels for her when she threw him head over heels at the dojo when they were just kids.

“Come on. Let’s get to the movie before we miss the trailers.”

They arrive and get tickets before [Y/N] went to the bathroom to wash her hands. Ichigo went ahead and paid for everyone’s snacks. Popcorn for Chad and Orihime, one for them to share, and pack of mango jellies for Ishida. He figured if they were prepacked they should be fine, and if he still complained then he wouldn’t get anything and he could have jellies. Win-win.

[chrkrose]

Reddit is a cesspool but sometimes there are gems hidden among thousands of comments and I’m bringing one of those here.

The OP post was the question: “What is your opinion of Rhaegar Targaryen?”

My favorite comment:

A moody teenager that never grew, for better or worse. Or, to be more specific, that ONE GUY from High School.

Chilling amid the ruins of Summerhall playing Smell Like Targaeryen Spirit on his lute, always sad, head only partially risen - you might thing he is myopic at first, because he only ever look at mid distance, "longing for something he doesn't know, yet", surrounded by his possy, pretending to not know everyone was in love with him, they all super hyper mega certain they could solve all the injustices in the world, "if only the older generation got out of the picture, man!"

He is a white guy with a guitar.

His horniness is probably part of his "super innovative, nobody ever thought about this before" REVELATION that "marriage is a prison, maaaan."

Probably part of the Student Body at his Liberal Arts course at the Citadel. A huge leftist that thinks "women should have sex whenever to show they are not part of the system, maaaan". Going by the typical history of dude like him irl, he would have grown up to be so very boring and bureaucratic... but alas, he died at 27 of overdose after a show. I mean...

Yeah, he is a huuuge stereotype, but applied to Fantasy.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

would you ever be interested in writing a more masc reader? i kind of got it by know you write fem!reader exclusively, so i've been wondering if you'd write something along the lines a manly gal.

like the type that sees könig do his pushups, she must also immediately try to catch up to him? she sits manspread and wears manly clothes and makes everything a raunchy sex joke and has no shame and is kind of a muscle mommy and a total gremlin? something like that? and it disarms könig completely cuz he's used to damsels in distress, but this one can do everything herself but somehow wants him?? like an equal partner?

also can u pls tell each of your königs i love them with all i have? pls? 🥺 they're like my reason for living this past year i wanna give them a big sweet kiss and pet them

🤲 here, have an offering as gratitude. ignore the arms lol

Maaaan your offering 😭😭💖💞

And yes I have a habit of writing König with helpless maidens and sassy fairies don’t I 😂

So… König with masc!reader…. (Lol this turned out very rivals to lovers but I hope you enjoy!)

König can be a little off-putting. One would think that a man of his size wouldn’t get so threatened by a girl with some muscles on her... But you catch him mansplaining guns to you more than once, showing off his new rifle and then snapping his mouth shut when you fire a round of 5 bullseyes with a calm, stable breath and perfect posture.

“It’s nice,” you give it back to him, “but I’ve seen better.”

Knowing that you just threw his own words back at him – he’s always boasting on the field – König just blinks and grabs his rifle from you.

“...Where?”

“In my safe,” you shrug, trying to keep a neutral face.

And you’ve seen him during sparring, knowing already that he likes to one-up everyone. König is skilled and fierce, but he’s also competitive to the point of petty, which is why you’re amused when he suddenly turns gentle, even hesitant when paired with you.

At some point, it starts to get on your nerves though. It’s slightly insulting, even sexist, that he’s trying to treat you like a gentleman when you’re supposed to hit each other. So, you snap a good right hook through his guard and watch the man see some stars. Hoping that it would fix that attitude, you do it again, and again until he stops giving you the princess treatment.

But even after that, you see he’s holding back. The more you try to get him to attack properly, the more pissed off he gets, refusing to strike you even when you bring him down – a man twice your size – and gloat over him. His eyes are flaming because he just lost for the sake of some weird “I don’t hit women” policy, and it shouldn’t bother you. The man’s an asshole, what are you to do?

Still, it’s giving you a headache. Did you win the match only because he allowed it? You almost smack him in the head again. You already dealt with these kinds of idiots at the training program, and now you have to take shit from pros too? While you’re the pro? Jesus.

Determined to give him hell for the rest of the week, you make a lousy joke about the size of his gun when you go on a mission. It’s a bit unhanded, because this lame ass fool actually gets bothered by your quip, and you mentally beat yourself up for messing with your partner’s head before an important hostage rescue.

He barges through the door like a bull, and you purse your lips under your balaclava – on the other hand, is it even your fault if he gets killed because of some stupid Freudian joke?

This guy is simply too much fun…

So what happens is that you can’t keep your mouth shut. It’s horrid, what comes out of your lips when he’s trying to save lives. Things such as:

“Do you have your gun in hand?”

“I’ll keep an eye on your six while you take the women”

“Did you see their faces when König rammed himself in?”

The innuendos are obvious and rampant and so bad that König is surely blushing under that hood before you even board the plane. On top of everything, he rubs the barrel of his gun up and down in the plane because he’s so nervous. He does it absent-mindedly; the poor guy probably doesn’t understand the outrageous amount of Freudian jokes that could be cracked about that…

You try to pull yourself together after that because otherwise, people would start to suspect you’re having a crush on him. Army humour is army humour but you’re taking this shit a bit too far… Your jokes have never been this bad before, they certainly never induced such crazy behaviour from a guy.

...Because it turns out that you’ve awoken a demon.

At the gym, you see König watching you do pull ups – you’re the only girl there, yes, but you don’t wear some sculpting, seamless gym pants and a suggestive sports bra. You only have your old sweats and a tank top on, but the man's looking at you like he’s dreaming of either killing or fucking you. He's smashing the plates around like they've just personally insulted him, and glares at your way again, then lifts more than you’ve ever seen anyone lift before. He never talks to you: just stops and stares when you’re doing a set, then does his own, then glares.

You don’t know if it’s some kind of an awkward challenge or if he’s trying to flirt with you – menacingly – but you’re a mess after that gym session.

Next time during training, König personally offers to spar with you: he even pushes away the guy that had been assigned as your pair. And this time, he doesn’t hold back. He’s serious, and rough, and fucking frightening.

“That’s it, big boy,” you’re panting before half a minute has passed, “You finally found your groove?”

“No talking during sparring,” he grunts, and almost manages to land a blow – almost, because it ends with him on the floor. The takedown is something even KorTac’s best would be proud of, but he doesn’t allow you to gloat this time. Oh no: he rolls through it: actually, he rolls so that he lands on top of you, then smashes his whole weight on your chest to keep you down.

“Right where I want you,” he says, so brunt and brief that you’re not sure if you just imagined it.

“Is...that...so?”

You try to fight him in vain: he only presses you further into the mat and forces even your face to the side with his own.

“I thought you liked girls,” he pants into your ear, so low that the others can’t hear.

“That’s funny,” you whisper through clenched teeth, fingers curled around his shirt. “I thought you liked girls.”

You hear him draw air right beside your ear, and then – it’s unmistakable, the throbbing pulse against your thigh.

He’s getting hard.

The fucking moron is getting hard during a sparring session with you–

“There’s no need to crush your partner,” the trainer instructs, to everybody grinding on the mat in general, perhaps, but you have a feeling he’s directing the words König who’s currently choking you with his entire body.

“Is this what you want?”

He lets you breathe, only enough so you can turn and have another staring competition with him, this time with his mouth only a hair’s breadth away. Those eyes are hard as steel and as beautiful as snow, and that stare still wants to either fuck or murder you…

“Hm? You want to get crushed?”

“...Why do you think I joined the army?” You laugh breathlessly, eyes glimmering from mirth. He’s such a sight when he’s angry and confused.

Your cheeky answer only makes him more perplexed. Poor man – it’s so easy to tease him that you almost feel like a bully.

“That's right... Take your time getting up, there’s no need to rush,” you breathe, and watch the snow melt into a bewildered cerulean sea.

It sets sooner than you thought, his lids dropping as he settles to watch your lips, the heavy pulse on your neck.

“Oh I’m up already.”

[shinjisdone]

♡ Yandere Alphabet ♡ Glitchy Red ♡

Based on the original story and slightly of Retold!Glitchy Red story. Not a single AI thing here, they are nice don't misunderstand but like, they are too disconnected from his real personality maaaan

this man has been living in my head rent-free + listening to Isotope and all the great content I find of him here is not helping-

Yandere alphabet found here.

Original picture cut and cropped here.

TW: Yandere behaviour all the way, extreme possesiveness, murder and psychological torture mentioned (not at you), bodily harm (at you) gore, guilt-tripping, fear of abandonment, dream manipulation and nightmares, blood, wish for control, trust issues, desperation, uncontrollable jealousy, clingy behaviour, wish for death mentioned,

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Well, we are already starting out with a tricky one. Red here is a sentient video game character stuck in a Pokemon game from 1996. It doesn't matter if it is from an original gameboy, a gameboy advance, emulated or romhacked, Red is stuck. Stuck in an device that is similiar to hell to him if it weren't for you and your company, even if you two can only communicate through your two vastly different worlds.

There is no physical way for Red to show his affections even if he wanted to. The guy is rather indirect, subtle and scarce with his affections and can only do so through verbal confirmations. Again, they are subtle and could be misunderstood as simple appreciation if you two are close. "Thanks for sticking with me, a video game character" or "Having your company is better than anything else this hell offers." Maybe even a "All I have is you and I don't mind it." That's really all he can do through his little message text boxes or even through the old speakers, though his voice would be so bit-crushed and not clean, that it would be hard to understand him. Better so perhaps, maybe he'll let a more intense version of his feelings for you slip out, one that might unsettle you.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Again, Red is stuck in some device he cannot escape from and he is the only real person there, so it isn't like he can go out of his way to get messy. Maybe mess with some code but that would only result in himself getting hurt and how would that help you?

However, the willingness is there. Right there, 200%. Once Red realizes and accepts that he needs you and wouldn't want you to ever leave, he will protect you. If he could find a way to at least, maybe...jump from device to device like a virus, then he'll do his utmost to terrorize and scare away those he himself judges to be too close to you or that are harmful to you. He feels no empathy nor thinks anything through whether this person truly deserves torment or not or how you'd feel about it - if Red wants to hurt a person, he is going to do it. Unfortunately, without a physical body outside in the real world, he cannot get rid of anyone but trust me, how he wishes to do so. He would hate everyone and anything equally no matter who they are - if their mere existence threatens your safety or you being taken away from him, Red will do anything to get rid of them. The sooner the better.

On that note, the best way to get rid of or scare people away is through dream manipulation. He'd need some kind of connection to his target but once he does, the willingness to mess with them is there. How messy and bloody he will be depends on the person's actions and how Red feels about them aka how angry he is at them. Whether or not they hurt or are too close to you, his emotions range from cold murderous intent as he stares into their eyes with a grim look as their limps rip and crack. He'll visit them in their dreams in irregular, unpredictable patterns, the torture lasting for weeks until the person decides to already stay the hell away from you. When he is angry, truly, truly enraged (which can happen easier than you might think) the torments last shorter but much, much more painful. He'll scream and bark, his jaw unhinged as he for once does not mind his body glitching in and out as he screams all the pent-up thoughts and feelings he has for the target. How dare they take you away from him, how dare they mock and hurt you, how you belong to him, you are his, his, his, his (Name)! All the while he mauls them.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

The only way he can "abduct" anyone is by having them keep the game - rather, make it impossible for you to finish or get rid of the game entirely. That way you can never leave him.

In a way it's more like you are keeping Red and if it cannot happen willingly, then he has to force himself to stay in your life. By dream manipulation or by telling you how you are the only player, the only real person he can count on not to hurt him like the others, how he needs you. How you are something, something real between all these NPCs and codes he believed to be real too, only to find out that their lifes are meaningless. In a way, there are others out there that also believe his life - he'd prefers to call it existence - is meaningless (especially his creators, Red is sure of that). Nothing would be lost if he or everything in the game were to be deleted. But you would care. You do not see his existence as meaningless. Don't throw this away now. It's not like those are lies either. He doesn't see himself manipulating you but just telling you his perspective of things. Though he would silently admit to himself that it is guilt-tripping.

So there isn't any real "abduction" and therefore no mocking, he doesn't like to do that to you anyway (only to others who think they can do as they please when it comes to you). The only time Red would mock you is if you were really, really confident of getting rid of him. Of leaving him. After all, a player has control over the video game character - oh, if only you knew of what he is capable of. Look at you now, still here with Red. You two aren't done here and you will never be.

If we wanna get reaaaaally fanfic-y and deus ex machina - then if Red managed to trap ypu with him on the game, then he must be absolutely insane. Trapping the one he cares about in his own hell just for you to be together...there will be begging and depseration, yet also control and orders. Not a pleasant time.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Definitely hurt or hunt others even if you say they are harmless, even those you consider friends or family. Red judges many things on his own terms and if something displeases, annoys or makes him jealous, he will deal with it his own way. Of course, he won't tell you so and plays the aloof, innocent character trapped in a game - what could he possibly do?

Red would have his own sense on what is regarded as "safe" for you. Going to this one place? No, better not. That one person would like to buy you some coffee? Don't even think about it, Red doesn't trust them. There isn't much he can do about it though. The number one reason why he'd look down on each decision like that is because it means you'd leave him back home, on your bed or table while he is once again alone and will wonder when you'll come back. If you ever will even. This jealousy he harbors against anyone and everyone and the lack of control and agency he has frustrates him. He does wish he could..."control" you better than just saying "no".

Distorting your dreams however is different. While the place your dreams take place in are usually a void or a place in that godforsaken, messed up game, Red can ignore all of that and instead focus on you. While he wouldn't do anything against your will in your own dream - he still...cares for you and...loves you (he thinks...he never felt anything like this before. Before that it was all anger and brooding, pessimistic depression and even before that it was nothingness...but now he has you and these feelings he can hardly admit to himself) - and he still wants you to like him, like you do now. You care for him...and Red would never want to betray that trust, that privilege.

No, instead he revels in the control that he has in seeing you. In touching you. Hearing you clearly instead of these old-school speakers. It's his favorite thing in the while world now (not that there is anything to be fond of in this glitchy game).

He'd never do anything to upset you but there is a certain glee he feels when he can actively initiate touching you. Before he'd just sit back on a more tolerable map, listen and reply. Here he can walk up and see your human features, touch your human features. All because he invades your dream, he the one to call you and being able to manipulate and transform your unconcious dream world whenever and however he pleases. He lives for that kind of control but wouldn't mind more.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Vulnerability is not something Red can afford showing when he is a helpless creature at the mercy of players again and again and again. It takes time and it takes trust and there will always be a tint of fear that you could end up exploiting his vulnerable side and secrets or even worse, leave him after all the trust he put in you. It's in the back of his mind, seldomly however if you do prove yourself as good and trustworthy.

Red will have no problem telling and showing you all that he constantly has to deal with, his reality. He'd definitely show you parts of the game's world through your dreams, see replicas of the glitches and the messed up codes which he has to face every playthrough. It makes you understand him better, maybe even have a bit of sympathy for him which he strives for. He wants you to understand and he wants you to see what he sees. He, too, is a person. In some way at least.

When it comes to his feelings though? He is...hesitant. A part of him doesn't ever want to confess his feelings, let alone even accept them himself. Loving you means being vulnerable, letting you see every part of himself that got crazier and crazier with each player that tormented him. He'd rather just never think about what exactly he is feeling and prefers to just indulge in this love you are giving him by just being there. Yet when you two find yourself in a fragile situation, Red might be a bit more honest and a bit more sentimental. He might even go too far with his honesty. These things only happen in bits and pieces and every blue moon so don't forget them. Red won't.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Fighting back could happen like this: You don't listen to him, do not play anymore, keep the device shut, straight up disobey him or refuse to sleep so Red cannot enter your dreams. Those are unusual ways of fighting back but it works better than you think.

In the beginning he will be begrudgingly quiet...before loudly exclaiming how pointless this is. He cannot leave and will not. Maybe he even will say how childsh you are being right now. Yet when enough is enough, Red will be heavily and throughouly frustrated. You can tell when a high-pitched howl is heard from the speakers even when the device is shut. In fact, something you may not know since he keeps it from you, is that Red can willingly open the game and turn on the device whenever he pleases. So when you think you can just 'shut him up' by closing the game you will certainly be jumpscared to death when it just pops back up with that familiar Pokemon sound effect ear-piercingly high. Red would stare at you through the title screen, glaring and disappointed. "I'm not done talking." He'd hiss.

No matter how you approach the situation, he will be frustrated beyond belief. The soundeffects whine and screech, the game turns on in the middle of the night, being incredibly hot to the touch, the cartridge sometimes appearing at convenient times right in front of you and with Red glitching out more and more everytime he appears. It's hard to distinguish anything anymore on the screen. The pixels on him and all around are nothing but black and white, one's and zero's with Red screaming and screaming and screaming so hard that you cannot understand a word. All in hopes and in frustration that you will pick up the game again. You must. Don't leave him here.

It's going to take a lot, and I mean a lot, of time to get him to even calm down. Getting his trust back is a whole different story.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Is this a joke? Not ever would Red even humor the thought of seeing this as a 'game' - hell, he is trapped in one! No, he does not enjoy watching you try to leave, try to leave him. He doesn't even see this as any 'escape attempt'. In his eyes you are abandoning him. You come into his pathetic excuse of an existence, you, the one good thing he has ever had - he never thought good things could happen to him - and then you are trying to leave him? Abandon him?! No! NO, hE woN'T LeT THat hapPEn!

Genuinely afraid that you will succeed. He is a video character, damnit! There isn't much that he can do! He's not seeing this as a game, he is desperate! Softlocking the game, haunting you in your dreams, anything, aNYthInG he'D DO!

Yet Red is also feeling very much betrayed and hurt. Why? Were you seeing him as a joke this entire time too? Were you just toying with him and his feelings? No, that can't be...you are different, you are! Is it him, did he scare you away just like the others?

He's torn between taking his revenge on you for even daring to abandon him and begging you to stay and ready to sacrifice anything to get you to. You have to stay. You have to stay. You have to stay!

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Oof, the dreams turned into nightmares for sure. If you are attempting to escape, or in Red's words, leave him, then enough is enough. As a last resort after having tried everything to get you to pick up the game again, Red is frustrated. It is only a matter of time before you fall asleep out of exhaustion. One little moment of weakness and your eyes flutter close for just a second before you are faced with Red. He was waiting for you to give in.

You can barely let everything sink in as the environment around you distorts and screeches. A place that doesn't even seem solid, glitching in and out of existence and artificial sounds grate your ears. Red is right in front of you, a glare as dark as thunder with a voice that is just as booming. Jaw unhinged and body glitchy, he screams and screams and screams in your face on what you were thinking. How you could do this to him, what you were even trying to do and if what you two had was really that awful. But this is as far as you are going to go. Red is going to do everything to get you to stay. If he has to do something to disable or keep you from leaving, then he will do it. He isn't joking.

The noise and the blurry vision is an overload of senses. You hold your ears, shut your eyes close but you can still hear and see everything - fighting back is pointless. You can barely do anything from this sensory overload, your body feels frozen as each scream shakes your bones. Red might hesitate since he does not really want to hurt you but his rage is too big, too tempting and he grabs your shoulders in a steel-tight grip, not letting you look away from him. He doesn't mean to but he will end up digging his fingers into your flesh and there is a chance you will end up waking up hurt and bleeding. Red doesn't mean to but he is too angry to control himself.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Tricky one again. While Red insists and believes he is a person ("I think, therfore I am. Isn't that what you humans say?") he cannot say he is normal. He does not need to eat or sleep, he cannot change nor really age. When there is no change, there is no future. All he can hope and want in the realm of possibilities is to continue to stay with you. Keep turning on the game, keep talking to him, keep him company forevermore. Never leave him. You are the only real and good thing he has and while it utterly hurts to know he cannot really ever have you beyond the screen, Red still wants this. It may be monotone and routine-like but it's the most joy and happiness he has ever felt in his existence. Nothing compares.

Well, he does like to daydream when you aren't there and likes to get whimsical while doing so. Imagining what it would be like to get out of this forsaken cartridge and be there, in the real world with you. Would it still be routine-like? Would he partake in all these things you do in your life that you tell him about? Oh, how wonderful it would be to wake up by not having a screen go blank but by opening his eyes and seeing you. Holding you and touching you and doing normal, human things with you where there is no time-limit like in your dreams. Where he can be in a clean, not-distorted environment where the everchanging tiles and droning music does not make him go mad. Just you and him and no one else. No one else. Just you and Red.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Jealousy is unfortunetely something he experiences often and in great measure. Whenever there is just a third person mentioned, no matter if he knows their name or not, no matter if they are friend or family, Red will get jealous. Mostly due to the fact that it means you're leaving him alone to be with someone else. Someone real. You'd leave the game back home, ask even sweetly if Red would like to keep the game on or not, which he will begrudgingly either refuse or accept - it doesn't matter either way if he is on and here. You will not be. You are going away to be with someone who isn't Red, a real person who you can probably connect more with. Most of his jealousy stems from insecurity and the fact that he may have feelings and thoughts but he isn't real enough to be with you, unlike other people.

When he is the least jealous Red will just be pouty and snippy at best. Sarcastically telling you, no, it's fine, meet your friend and leave him be. He'll be fine. He doesn't really lash out nor cope in that regard. He'll just try to distract himself as much as he can in his own little hell. At worst is when that friend or family member or whoever is a recurring person in your life. It doesn't matter if your relationship with them is platonic, superficial or just in a polite way. Red wouldn't like them. He'd ask if it is really neccessary to meet up with them if they are just a coworker or classmate or whatever. If they are just that, then they aren't important enough. Spending all your time on them...what about Red? They probably have more humans in their lives; He only has you.

However, his endurance has reached a limit when that person is romantically interested in you (even worse when you are romantically involved). No, he cannot have that. To Red it is a clear sign that this person is trying to take you away from him. Whenever you gush about them or even objectively tell him of your 'date' with that...person, that thief, that bastard...then he's losing his mind with each word. He is trying utterly and incredibly hard to not snap at you both through the screen and in dreams - in fact he will be so upset he will not visit you in your dreams for a while - it...isn't your fault. No, it's them. How dare they. How dare they try to take away what is Red's. You belong to Red. YOU BELONG TO RED.

There is this underlying possessiveness Red always has that peaks when he is feeling utterly jealous. As a video game character who has always been a puppet and whose accomplishments were all lies, Red longs to have something to own and be his and that thing is you. You, this wonderful, kind being. He only has you and only needs you. He will not hesitate to think like that and to say things like that. Maybe not to you directly, he is still aware that it is abnormal to feel like this but he will definitely let that bastard know.

As mentioned in 'Bloody', Red will cope by tormenting that so called bastard through their dreams. He will also definitely try to kill them even if he knows it could be fruitless. The attempt or even succesful murder is more or less like a stress-reliever for him, for all these pent-up feelings he couldn't deal with in his game world. Well, he did. Red messed with the code of some NPCs, made them suffer as he imagined it was the bastard who suffered. Though NPCs aren't real people, they don't scream in agony as they die so a real human, who is also the target, is much more satisfying.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Surprisingly quite normal. There is always a gentle smile on Red's face when you two talk through the screen and he enjoys listening to you and talking about anything and everything, even mundane things. He may not have many opinions on things (please talk about anything but Pokemon. It's all he knows and he is sick of it) but he feels like he learns a lot from you when listening. Will actively ask questions about anything that intriguies him. Might throw some vague compliments here and there but will be embarrassed and discouraged if they aren't received well. Other than talking there isn't much he can do in the game. When unprovoked or nothing displeases, annoys or makes him jealous Red is quite pleasant to hang around with. However, he becomes so used to it he will always be expecting you to turn on the game every single day.

When entering your dreams? Unprovoked and without question? A bit more bold. Red will willy-nilly visit your dreams how he pleases, which later on becomes every night. The more he likes you, the clingier he gets when it comes to having your attention. He wants to talk to you every single day and wants to see and interact with you every single night. It isn't overwhelming to him in the slightest when you are the only one he has.

In 'dreamland' he really, really likes to touch you. Anything that can initiate skin-to-skin contact. From brushing your arm to holding your hand, even (embarrassingly) asking for embraces. Anything to feel your touch. Red knows what humans feel like, he usually initiated contact to rip their limbs and claw open their chests but with you this is different. You're sweet and kind and the touches you share are not of malice but of affection. If you start showing him affection, prepare to have him silently ask for it always. You aren't denying what you've done and are begging him to stop, you are showing him a new side of physical interaction. You are showing him embraces, he never had those before. Not by real people and not by that fake NPC that is supposed to be his 'mother'. This is new and warm and soft and makes him drunk off of it. This is love, isn't it? He can finally experience it - and expect him to always want to touch you and vice versa. Any kind of refusal will make him awkward at best and upset at worst.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Courting? Red...doesn't really do that. There's that slight fear of rejection. He could tell you how he feels but what if you reject him? What then? Will you continue being with him or ignore him all together? Would you feel disgusted that a sentient being is in love with you? Will you leave him? It all seems too risky.

On the other hand, actively courting you means being aware of his feelings and accepting with his whole heart that he loves you...that also seems risky. Red never had these kind of emotions before, it was always brooding anger, always distrust and revenge. Fear and pain. Being in love feels like being millions of miles away from these negative emotions and it's jarring. He knows he feels light and good when thinking about you as well as calm and happy when speaking to you. And when it comes to touching you in the dream realm? Absolute ecstacy, it's like he is high. Red likes these feelings very much so and indulges in them without a second thought but he cannot yet fully accept the source of these feelings. It's too unknown and jarring and scary.

Humoring himself with the thought of you saying you love him though? God, it sounds so great. There's that smile that turns into a gleeful grin when he daydreams like that and it goes up the charts when he also imagines kisses and sweet nothings. How he wishes you'd do that, he'd really go high. The image of you saying 'I love you, Red' repeats in his head and it's so damn wonderful and beautiful and makes his possessivness go up by 1000% as well. It'd do the same if it were a simple 'I care about you'. Your fate is sealed with those words.

Would try to be subtle with words and touches. Quite careful since he's new to it and he will be listening and remembering all your favorite things that you look for in a person. That's all he can do. Stuck in a game it's not like he can go on 'dates' or gift you anything.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Not at all. Red is as honest with himself as he is to you and everyone else. To you, someone he trusts and cherishes, he is able to be much calmer and nicer. Why wouldn't he be? You're probably the only one who sees him as real and treats him and his feelings and thoughts as such and he does grow to care for you as well. He is much calmer and nicer. You enable him to do so, to act and be different in a more positive sense for once since he never had to have experiences like that with others.

Other people however, are immediately met with distrust. It makes sense considering his past and he is even more distrustful if these people want something from you. He'd rarely show himself as sentient, only when he is forced to. Distrustful, brooding and negative. He won't even give others a chance.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Red wouldn't ever want to 'punish' you. He cares for you and your well being very much and 'punishments' would only result in you hating him and he doesn't want that ever. He doesn't want you to change or hate him. You being you is the reason why he fell in love in the first place!

Instead the 'punishment' would only happen in a scenario similiarly to 'Hell' where he is trapping you in a nightmare. Red himself doesn't see this as punishing you but rather telling you how he feels. He's the kind of guy to be upfront with his emotions and desires when pushed too much since he just used to be a 'vessel' with no agency. Telling you how your actions hurt him and why you are doing this. Stop distancing yourself from him, stop changing! Just stay with him!

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

The question is if he could. Disabling options in the game when you're playing is easy as pie but how would he stop you in the real world? He could scare you away from doing some things but again, you'd only fear and hate him and that's the last thing Red wants.

But oh, only if he could. Just like his whimsical daydreams, Red also has fantasies that are much darker. If only he could have you interact only with him, have you locked up in a room where only the game - him - is there to be your company. If only there was a way to cuff you with him, like linking souls or hearts and no matter what would happen to the cartridge, Red will always be with you. Don't talk to anyone but him and be with noone but him. A dream come true.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Patient until he snaps? In the middle. The more unpleasant things happen it's like they pile up on his brain and the faster the limit is reached before he explodes.

Patient for you to love him? Quite a bit perhaps. He knows you aren't bad, aren't taking his feelings as a joke and you two like each other. Red doesn't see any charm on him with that glitched and messed up body and mind of his but he knows he cares and he knows you care. It can only go up from here, he tries to be optimistic.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Holy shit.

If you die...oh my. It would take Red a long time to figure out that you aren't ignoring him but have died. That's why you didn't play anymore, how could he have known when stuck in a cartridge? It would take Red a very, very long time to accept your death and when he does, he truly loses everything. He didn't have anything in the first place as a puppet until you came and now you're gone too - he should've known, should have acknowledged your mortality but always ignored it in favor of just indulging in you. Red gives up and wishes more than anything now that his cartridge is destructable. At least he'd be gone as well.

Successfully escaping leaves him in a frenzy though. You probably exclaimed your displeasure and pain with him in your life before leaving so that gives him at least a reason to assume you are still alive. Since the cartridge cannot be destroyed, Red can try anything and, I mean anything, to get you back. He's got infinite time. Perhaps the game will fall into the hands of another fool and Red will torment and force them to find you. They'll be a useful tool who can actively engage in the real world and having all the information of you that he has, Red will mercilessly do anything to them to have them track you down and only then, would he promise the fool he'll let them be. Prepare to find the cartridge again with distorted Pokemon music faintly playing. As long as Red is capable of it, he will never let you go.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

As mentioned, Red would never ever let you go. As long as he can still hold onto you, no matter in which regard, he won't let go. Red can never go back to the time before he met you, to this solitude where anyone he stumbled across was his perpatraitor and tormenter. Where people abandoned and replaced him, making him go through glitch city and missingno again and again and again. You are the only one who makes him feel alive. If he let you go, the chances of all that repeating like a cycle are a terrifying 100%.

Guilt? No. He cannot afford any guilt when he knows he cannot be without you. He'd feel awfully upset if you cried and felt frightful of the tight grip he has on you (both metaraphorically and literally when he immediately holds onto when entering your dream and stays that way until it ends). Mostly because the fact that Red being himself upsets you but it won't ever go to the lengths where he'd let guilt eat at his conciousness. It never did when he tortured other players before you.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

First he used to be just like the other NPCs: Unwittingly following a role with the utmost ignorance. As things began to become routine and inconsistend in his world, in this fake world, and he learns of the true reason for his existence through other players who inhabit the real, outside world - everything came crashing down. Existential crisis, a pessimistic feeling taking over him, loneliness, self-hatred, both emotional and physical pain, betrayal that all concluded in this cycle of revenge. Everything is the same and everyone is the same. Mocking him, causing him pain before getting scared when they get a taste of their own medicine and Red is being thrown to the next person.

Until you got the game and things were different. Red was still as distrustful to as he was to others before but over time, you proved yourself to be good. All that he was supposed to have in this make-believe life of his - purpose, care, love and recognition - he gets it all from you. You give him a taste of life, of what it feels like to be a person. Not a video game character.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He won't let the guilt gnaw on him. It hurts to hear your screams echo through the speakers and it hurts even more when you finally give into sleep only to see Red looming over you and you beginning to sob.

It hurts and he will frown all the while, being eerily silent as all he can do is offer a hug and rock you back and forth. Red doesn't know what to say, he is well aware of his selfishness but does not care in the end. He cannot let you go and he cannot go back to a time without you. He could easily tell you his perspective of things. Of how he needs you, how it is impossible for him to be any different and he will never, ever do anything nor let anything happen to change this dilemma. Red could let you know how he thinks of this...but he knows it's only going to bring you more pain. You are the prisoner now and while it hurts to see you like this, he won't change.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

If nothing that displeases him happens, Red is surprisingly nice to hang around with (aside from his clinginess). He slightly puts you on a pedestal and feels more malice and hostility towards others and always seems them as a threat. Since he is stuck in a game he has a bit less control over you, which is balanced out by his possessiveness he has over you in your dreams. Possessive, desperate, jealous and very keen and enjoys inflicting pain on others.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

A hard one. Since Red can connect to you in your dreams, you'd have to find a way to get him to stop. You'd have to learn to be as cruel as the players before you and exploit his trust. Make him believe you got his back no matter what and that your love for him is real and everlasting. Then, when you ask him to stop his visits for a bit, get rid of the game. Give it up to someone else, try to destroy it, just do something in this short time that you have. However, that does not guarantee any successful escape.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

As mentioned in 'Hell' there is a possibility of that happening but only once. Red cares about you and he doesn't want to use pain and violence as a way to keep you in line. It reminds him too much of his own past. The guilt would definitely eat him there and he'd do his absolute best to never do it again...unless of course, you keep on trying on abandoning him.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

There definitely needs to be work put in there for Red to even consider trusting you, which could take months to a year. Once he considers you good and trustworthy - and then later harbors feelings for you - Red might start to put you on a pedestal. When he's only experienced mockery, betrayal and torment for 'fun' because all people wanted was 'to see what would happen', you being the only one to not do that makes him believe that all this goodness, kindness and innocence people talk about must be all found in you. You are kindness incarnate while the rest of the world must be this so-called wretchness.

While he knows you aren't perfect, the more kindness you show you him, the more he will believe it. It's not exactly worshipping nor reverance but definetely thinking higher of you than of any other possible person. If they are cockroaches, you are a butterfly.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Red could pine forever as long as you stay with him. He'd be actually fine with only being on friendly terms with you as long as you keep him as your number one.

If another person comes into the picture and threatens your relationship (or rather Red immediately sees them as a threat) and if nothing happens either by you or him to sever this bond you have with that person, Red might snap. Angrily confessing to you, telling you how they are taking you away from him because you belong to Red! He loves you!

He is too emotional to think through the consequences and will demand that whatever is going on with that person has to stop. If you aren't doing it in a harmless way, Red will do it in a painful way. Fully aware and enjoying every second of it.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Not ever would he want that to happen. If he realizes he's being too much, he will back off for a few days but never truly gone. Red cannot afford to leave you, he doesnt want to. If there is anything you need or want to...just calm down, he will do it. Just stay as you and never leave him. Please.

[the-owl-house-takes]

As much as Alador is my favorite character and I love him. I must admit ALADOR HAS THE WORST CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND WRITING

The crew didn't know how to introduce him and in each episode he appeared, he was like a different character (magically, the joke about him being absent-minded disappeared in the following chapters)

After making him clumsy, they went on to make him terrible, manipulative (as he was in Amity's memories and HOW HE MUST BE) and then in clouds on the horizon; They simply victimized him to the maximum extent possible. And also; a lot of contradictions, maaaan-

I really don't think that all of that was because of the cut, because then UNNECESSARY scenes came out and it's like???

AND ALSO

The fandom must also make it clear that, whether or not Alador was abused or manipulated by Odalia, he was also guitly for his attitudes. He is a grown man with his own mind and did things without the need of Odalia.

For me, Alador was perfect to be a "victim and victimizer" character, that could have been very useful, making it clear that also people who suffered abuse can be abusers and not excuse them; At least give us something more interesting in the Blight family dynamic (because look at what the twins and Amity suffered)

There are quite a few things I want to say about Alador; but sincerely

Maybe I'm asking too much for a kid's program, or I'm not using the right words to explain myself; but I feel that Alador must have gotten what he deserved, a blow of reality

Look, instead of the crew wanting us to at least sympathize with him, he made him more hated

a good reality check would have helped

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