#i love that the writing for unity comes off as effortless

[ifidieinacage]

i just love the concept of Unity you know, and how straight forward Rick is with it. like, hey kids this is grandpa's ex, Unity, it's a hivemind alien who rocks my singlemind. and he and summer like, never stumble over it's pronouns even if summer doesn't understand it at all at first

and i love how Unity is executed, from a writing standpoint. like obviously it doesn't need to use a single voice or body to communicate but it does out of accommodation of its guests, but it also is so fluid among its different bodies, picking up conversations from one extension to another and rick just really fluidly goes along with it.

like, one, what a representation of adhd, because yeah but two it really fits in with rick's whole nihilism theme that he is presenting at this time. he is really going hard on the 'no one matters because nothing is unique' and that fits with how easily he interacts with Unity's different extensions and hosts without getting hung up on a specific body or iteration

also i love the fact that Unity still carries a torch for rick... like, it inhabits a species with cool-toned hair, but still manages to front the red-headed ones most often for rick's benefit. like, unity straight up found a host planet that most catered to rick's kinks. that's fucked up, but like,,,,, romantic.

like, what knows more intimately that free will is a joke, that a single person matters very little in the face of reality, that despite that it's so, so easy to get hung up on connections and relationships than a hivemind. Unity is a perfect compliment to Rick. it's alien and cold and uncaring on the surface but holds a much deeper empathy and care than you'd first expect.

i love that rick says that unity isn't into other hiveminds, i love that he feels special that he could keep up with an entire hivemind, being single minded. that he could project his hangups on connecting with a single person onto unity who he thought couldn't connect to other hiveminds. i love that he's jealous of the borg-stand in, that he's doesn't like Unity leaning on the borg-hivemind because Rick isn't capable of that kind of support and empathy and emotion yet. that he can't imagine something being capable of that without ulterior motives.

i love that unity is afraid of falling into rick's cult of personality, that he's so charismatic that it fears not being able to separate itself from him, when that's it's whole thing. like, unity should just consume rick into itself but it doesn't because rick is special to it... like did the writers even think about this before they wrote it because HOLY SHIT

these are cycles and it's fantastic....

[bobdylanrevisited]

The Basement Tapes

Released: 26 June 1975

Rating: 10/10

Following the motorcycle crash in 1966 that put an end to his ‘electric era’, Dylan and his new family moved to Woodstock, outside of the public eye. So to did his backing band, The Hawks later known as The Band, and during Bob’s recovery the musicians would meet up and record songs nearly every day for almost a year. Though recorded in 1967, there was no official release until 1975, when Bob finally gave permission to Robbie Robertson (guitarist for The Band), to select and mix tracks from these sessions. This review will be different to my others, as many of the songs do not require individual analysis, but rather I want to focus on three specific areas: the recording, Robbie’s choice of songs, and the highlights. The Basement Tapes is not only one of the best albums of the 20th century, strangely enough it’s also one of the most frustrating, due to an apathetic Bob and outside influence.

The Recording: I believe the recording sessions came about due to two very different reasons. The first is because Bob used it as his therapy. The motorcycle crash put his lifestyle into perspective and he morphed into a brand new man, as discussed in my ‘John Wesley Harding’ post. Gone were the days of acid and avant-garde, hanging out in New York’s high society art scene and facing down an audience of former fans and folk fanatics. He now chose anonymity, a simpler family life, and a return to less ‘controversial’ music. You only need to see his physical change from 1966 to ‘67 to see that this is not the same person who was booed at the Free Trade Hall. By ‘67 Bob has recorded seven albums in just five years, being laid up after the crash must have been hell for a young artist who had always stayed constantly moving.

The second reason is almost the antithesis of Bob wanting to record to stay creative and play with his friends. The crash had taken a high earning artist off the tour circuit and, as is often the way things go, some fat cat was losing revenue and wanted to recoup losses. Dylan stated in 1969 that he was being pressured into writing songs that could be sold and recorded by other popular acts, therefore still making him a valuable asset for record labels. Although it only seems like a handful of songs were actually recorded purely as demos to produce covers, and the majority of the songs do seem to be the musicians playing only for themselves, it is still a grim indictment on the industry that Bob was hounded to still produce hits after nearly dying just a few months prior.

The Band bought the now famous house ‘Big Pink’ very close to where the Dylan’s now resided, and according to Rick Danko (the bass player), Bob would constantly come round either with a new song ready to go or they’d all sit around and improvise until they’d figured out the words. This is the beauty of The Basement Tapes, it’s less about the individual songs, it’s more about the way it perfectly captures a feeling. That feeling of being with friends and having a laugh. That feeling of synchronicity you have with those closest to you. It also oozes Americana, an alluring mix of folk and country, with acoustic guitars and pianos creating lively songs about everything and nothing. Bob’s voice is relaxed and effortless, a million miles away from ‘Blonde On Blonde’. The tunes are slower and often happy, and it’s almost like the jaded beatnik of the prior three years had let all ill-will go. It’s somehow the perfect album for all seasons, whether it be a summers evening in the garden with a drink, or a winters evening wrapped up on the sofa, it’s perfectly evergreen. Despite my love for the album and the Bob we encounter on this record, there is an unavoidable problem with this release, and that problem is Robbie Robertson.

The Tracklist: Following ‘Blood On The Tracks’ and his critical standing seemingly returned to his mid ‘60s high point, Bob finally gave permission for the long bootlegged basement recordings to be made public. However, he wasn’t really interested in how these recordings were released, so Robbie Robertson took the task upon himself. This leads to the biggest problem with the album and the legacy of the recordings: the songs that were left off, and the songs Robbie faked to replace them.

Many classics were written and recorded during the legendary sessions. ‘Quinn The Mighty Eskimo’ had been a huge hit for Manfred Mann and had been performed live by Bob. Similarly, ‘Minstrel Boy’ had been part of his Isle Of Wight set in 1969. ‘I Shall Be Released’ had also been a staple of live shows, as well as appearing on Bob’s Greatest Hits Volume 2 in 1971 (albeit a different and better studio recording). So why the fuck were these omitted from official release?! Who could possibly hear the pure genius of ‘I’m Not There’ or ‘Sign On The Cross’ and decide the public didn’t deserve to fall in love with its weird and mysterious ramblings. Of course with The Bootleg Series Vol. 11: The Complete Basement Tapes eventually being released in 2014, everyone finally got to hear a properly mixed catalogue of these amazing months of musical perfection, yet it may have been 39 years too late thanks to Robbie’s bizarre song choice.

Of the 24 tracks on the album, 8 do not feature Dylan nor were recorded during the basement period. These are unreleased The Band songs which Robbie added to the album. Now, I want to make it clear that after Bob, The Band are my favourite musical artists, but there is something very disingenuous of Robbie to pretend that these songs were anything to do with Bob and the mythos of his reclusive year. Their studio recordings were even mixed to sound more raw, to match the rest of the album. It’s honestly mind blowing that a third of the album is taken up with these tracks, when the aforementioned classics were saved just for bootleggers and collectors. Whilst I still adore the album, Robbie’s ego and self promotion leaves a bitter taste.

The Highlights: As previously mentioned, the songs themselves are often short and simple, and they don’t require lyrical analysis. However, there are 3 tracks I did quickly want to mention.

12. Tears Of Rage - One of the darker songs on this otherwise happy album, Dylan’s singing here is incredible, as are his harmonies with The Band’s Richard Manuel. It’s one of my favourites on the album.

19. You Ain’t Goin’ Nowhere - A happy song of love and unity (remember this was recorded during Bob and Sara’s happy days despite being eventually released during their break up). The recording on this album is great, however I urge you to listen to the 1971 studio version found on Greatest Hits Vol. 2 as it’s one of my favourite Dylan songs from the Woodstock period.

24. This Wheel’s On Fire - Similar to ‘Tears Of Rage’, this is dark, weird, and infinitely more memorable than most of the album. By far the best track, Dylan was still at his songwriting best when tackling metaphor and challenging imagery.

Verdict: As I previously said, this album is a cultural document of legendary artists essentially messing about. It’s a truly fantastic record, in spite of Robertson’s best efforts, and each song from the basement sessions makes you wish you could have been there, chilling amongst mates and being ludicrously creative every single day. However, this album is only a great introduction to these mesmerising recordings, it is essential you listen to The Bootleg Series Vol. 11: The Complete Basement Tapes. It is a joy to listen to the 138 tracks and find your new favourite, or find a hidden gem that Dylan likely forgot the second he stopped singing it. That being said, if you don’t want to sift through that many tracks, many of which are admittedly nonsense or badly recorded, then the 24 track album is still a brilliant overview which you’re sure to fall in love with. Following this release, we go back to Bob during his tumultuous marriage breakdown, his carnival live shows, and an album filled with mystique and violins.

[biconicfinn]

Hi shakthi! what do you feel about royalty/ fairytale au's? The idea of any variations of prince!Magnus au always gets me. -luxxmagnus

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! i love royalty au when it’s set in a diff universe and i dont always go for modern royalty, but a few of them i’ve read are well done so it’s really dependent on the way it’s written! but i’ve got a few must haves for a royalty au that get me like 😍 

sorry this is messy and all over the place sgkagbkdag

MAGICAL PRINCE MAGNUS AHHHHHHHH okay so obviously prince magnus>>>> because the aesthetic of prince magnus in fancy clothes, with an intricate crown and beautiful jewellery!!! also it means we can get courtship! and political intrigue! he still has magic because i say so!! also because magnus is so perfect he’d be the type of prince with a great relationship with his people so we’d get magnus being the sweetheart he is! also prince magnus overthrowing his father, the tyrannical king asmodeus????? UGH PERFECTION!!!!!! also i’d like to think that after asmodeus is overthrown, magnus still is not yet of age to be crowned king so ragnor (his older cousin, and no dont ask how they’re related) is the regent but really magnus has a lot of input in the ruling and ragnor is there as more of a formality and an advisor to magnus? cat, raphael, and dot are also members of the royal court and are magnus’ closest advisors and they have their own little family you know? also magnus’ mom died of a sickness when magnus was young and it was tragic and he was really broken by it because he loved his mother so much. so asmodeus tries to raise magnus to be the perfect weapon but thanks to his heart of gold and his found family, he doesn’t become the monster his father says he is. he wants to lead his kingdom to greatness, and do his best to help his people recover from asmodeus’ rule and move forward. 

WARRIOR PRINCE ALEC HELL YEAH so with alec i like the idea of him being the crown prince of a neighbouring kingdom and he and magnus meet and it’s like Instant Sparks and they fall in love at first sight, as they tend to do, and it’s amazing. alec would be the prince who has a reputation of being stoic and cold and closed off but he’s just under the weight of all the expectations you know? plus i feel like his kingdom would be a kingdom of warriors and so he’s also excellent in combat and gets a reputation as an amazing archer and strategist. and it’s hard to please the lightwood parents who are forever comparing alec to jace and belittling him, and it’s tough but he does it for izzy and max, so they don’t take the pain. (alec lightwood is the best big brother ever). and he’s got all these ideas to open up idris and form proper alliances with the neighbouring kingdoms, to unify and bring peace to his people.  

FANCY ROYAL BALL FOR LIKE SOMEONE’S ENGAGEMENT IDK IT’S NOT RELEVANT BUT THAT IS WHERE MALEC MEET it’s the 18th birthday of idk clary who’s a princess of some other kingdom idk it’s not relevant the exact occasion and the only thing that matter is this is where all the romance get set up! so it’s a big diplomatic thing and the leader and/or their heirs are expected to attend and magnus goes to represent edom with the immortal squad, and alec is there with izzy (and jace but they just ignore him after he runs after some poor girl to dance wth her). alec exchanges pleasantries with a few of the other guests but he’s not really there for gossip, trying to discuss alliances and trade agreements. magnus is asked to dance by many suitors, but he’s not looking to start a relationship nor to fuel the rumour mill so he politely declines and carries on mingling and soon enough the two princes meet and it’s like magic. magnus makes a terribly cheesy pun in response to a stranger at the bar’s sarcastic retort at some pompous duke and oh no he’s hot!!!! they both smile and introduce themselves with a distinct lack of effortless flair for magnus, or the calm composure typical of alec. they get to talking and it’s easy to see that neither of them have experienced this kind or ease and comforting familiarity when talking to someone outside of their inner circles. 

whilst magnus and alec are falling in love over the course of a conversation, there is some hilarious shenanigans as maia, raphael, meliorn, and simon find themselves tangled in a love quadrangle as they all feel so drawn to one another, taking turns to dance with one another before retreating to their friend groups to be like “they are all so beautiful and sweet and kind please help!!!!” and so ensues one of the most elaborate slow burn romances the royal courts have seen in ages (the betting pool is also exceptionally large and is won by meliorn who with raphael, started more than half the rumours in order to stir the pot and collect the winnings and spoil their partners). 

so anyway back to malec, they talk and have a few drinks and all is well and good and still pretty calm until alec picks up the way magnus is swaying to the music and tapping his feet to the beat, so alec asks magnus to dance and leads him to the dancefloor where they dance the night away, alec more than happy to twirl magnus around the dancefloor and make him giggle and blush, showing him off to everyone else. realising that they’ve attracted quite a fair bit of attention, they decide to steal away to an empty garden and continue dancing in the moonlight, the night is pure and utter perfection, and they part somewhat reluctantly, wanting to spend more time with one another, but also eager for the next day where they have agree to spend the day together. alec steels himself to press a brief, sweet, chaste kiss to magnus’ cheek before leaving to escort a tired and tipsy isabelle back to their guest chambers. magnus is left blushing, hand pressed to his cheek where alec’s warm lips pressed a gentle kiss that gave him butterflies.

oh my god this is not what i set out to write im in too deep now kdsbvfvasjbvjsav sorry may

COURTSHIP!!!! i desperately need courtship rituals!! like alec sending magnus elaborate flower arrangements with sweet, affectionate messages in flower language, magnus sending alec charmed tokens like a simple necklace or leather bracelet that has protective and healing spells woven into it!! them sending love letter to one another! they spend a lot of time together at social events and at “diplomacy meetings” where yes, they do discuss trade and alliances and what not but also it’s an excuse for them to spend at least a week with one another in either kingdom and they go on picnic dates on palace grounds, sneak out of their rooms at night to stargaze, wander through towns and eat street food (and alec always buys magnus little gifts and tokens that remind him of his love) and they train together, teaching each other the fighting styles of their respective kingdoms, and yes, there is a gratuitous alec teaching magnus archery scene because im fucking weak!!! and alec likes to hang out in the royal apothecary in edom and watch magnus make a whole bunch of cool potions, invent spells, and write magical theory. magnus in turn, is very fond of going to the training sessions of idris’ elite warriors–the shadowhunters, to watch alec obliterate a whole bunch of soldiers at various combat skills. 

BATTLE COUPLE!!!!!! so they’re together for months and all is good but then valentine happens and has been getting his forces gathered during this whole thing and even before it (im just stupid and forgot to mention it sdkfvbabhvjabv) and anyway he attacks!! and the crown princes of idris and edom unite, together with the other young royals from the neighbouring kingdoms and their armies to defeat valentine. and the two of them are damn near impossible to beat, alec with his honed-from-birth warrior skills, and magnus with his proficiency in both magical and non-magical combat. and it goes well at first but then the tides turn and they have to split up and they part and it’s this moment of “i don’t know if we’ll survive this” and they almost go tosay i love you but then alec is like “i’ll tell you when we survive this, so please come back to me, and i’ll come back to you” and they’re both crying a little but they share one last kiss before separating.

the battle ends and they’re desperate to find each other, tearing through the battlefield to find their love. and they finally see each other and run into each other’s arms, both looking a little worse for wear, and they pull away from the embrace long enough for alec to blurt out “i love you” with so much conviction and surety that magnus subconsciously shakes his head, disbelieving that someone could love him of all people, before confessing his own love for alec. they kiss and it feels like relief and home and hope. 

IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE BUT THE THING WHERE THEY’RE A DISGUSTINGLY CUTE COUPLE AND THEY’RE BASICALLY ENGAGED BUT NOTHING OFFICIAL

so they recover from the battle and they mourn their fallen, celebrate their victories, and bring justice to the invaders. this young generation of leaders more or less formally ascends to power and usher in a new era of peace, collaboration, and unity (the fact that there are so many inter-kingdom royal romances certainly doesn’t hurt the alliance)

in this time of peace, cat and dot get married and adopt madzie, the polycule are living their best lives, and izzy gets together with clary. 

magnus and alec continue their courtship for a couple more years until they both turn of age to be crowned kings. alec plans an elaborate proposal that sweeps magnus off his feet and just a month after their respective coronations, they marry and their kingdoms are merged as one. and they all lived happily ever after

[bylerchoseme]

No hate at all but why would you ship two sisters? Nothing against it, just wondering.

1. They were separated for 13 years. Anna was 5 and Elsa was 8. They did not grow up together. They weren’t exposed to how sisters should act. Remember the gates were closed until Elsa’s coronation. They didn’t have contact with the outside world.

2. Sisters aren’t supposed to have chemistry. Why do they? Simple. That’s what the writers and animators wanted.

3. They’re strangers. You saw how busy Elsa’s schedule as queen was to a point where she could only see Anna at breakfast and during dinner time. Even when they were living together, they were separated. That’s not enough time.

4. Their parents did not teach them about family relationships. It was more of a “You can’t be around each other because Elsa has powers.” That’s it.

5. Anna doesn’t know how far to go for Elsa. She pushes herself further. She doesn’t think whether her actions are deemed romantic.

6. The devotion they have for each other. This is obvious on Anna’s side because she didn’t have to hide how she feels. We saw Elsa’s devotion to Anna in different ways but not like Anna’s.

7. Disney decided by the time it was too late that a mistake was made which is making them sisters. Like do they not know how to write?

8. Anna has told Elsa she loves her twice without the sister label. Her I love you sounds like she is in love with her. She feels so much for Elsa.

9. Canon gave Elsa and Anna a romantic trope. It doesn’t take rocket science to figure that out. The original idea was to make them girlfriends.

10. When a fandom is growing, you have to realize where the heart of Frozen is and write accordingly.

11. Elsanna is very popular in China. You don’t want to piss of that country. Whatever sells there, you have to make sure they like what they’re seeing.

12. They’re captivated by each other’s beauty. There isn’t anyone else they would rather be attracted to.

13. They’re drawn to each other like magnets.

14. They’re inseparable. Frozen 1, Olaf’s Frozen adventure, and Frozen Fever made that clear. They can’t let the other go.

15. Elsa had to accept herself before she let Anna near her in an intimate and heated way. Watch the beach scene in Frozen 2 to see what I am talking about.

16. Sharing the same bed while living in a castle doesn’t make sense when you’re sisters. That’s a routine. They do it all the time.

17. In Frozen 1 after Anna unfroze, Elsa ran a hand down Elsa’s cheek. Anna looked at her dreamily like she was love struck.

18. The realization Elsa is Anna’s true love hit her hard because it was unexpected. Anna’s immediate response was to look at Elsa’s lips which isn’t normal sisterly behavior.

19. Love is crazy and causes you to do crazy things. They’ve done a lot of crazy things for each other.

20. If people have to question their relationship, something is there. No one would need to do that if they were siblings.

21. Their love overshadows all love out there including canon couples. The world wasn’t prepared for Elsa and Anna.

22. Disney didn’t care to put effort in other relationships. Elsanna is effortless.

23. Elsanna is once in a lifetime. Once is all it takes to create something extraordinary.

24. Disney plays games to much. If they wanted to send the message of sisterhood, it should have happened. If they didn’t intend romantic feelings, well they didn’t deliver.

25. Elsa wanted Anna for Christmas. How can you wish for someone or something you already have? Unless you want something bigger.

26. Anna and Elsa share looks that are close to them kissing. They get lost in each other.

27. It’s come to a point where Anna delivering her speech to Elsa about believing in her more than anyone or anything isn’t considered sisterly talk. I won’t say publically why that is the case.

28. The fact people think Anna and Elsa are friends or cousins explains it all. You don’t need to watch Frozen 1 to know they’re sisters when Frozen 2 starts off with them as little girls and the word sister is repeated.

29. The funniest thing right now is when someone says Elsa is lesbian and another person says but “Anna and Elsa are sisters.” People immediately assume Elsa as a lesbian means she is into Anna.

30. I don’t ship two sisters. I ship everything Elsa and Anna represent together. They have the foundation, build up, and qualities of a healthy relationship.

31. Do I even need to bring up the kid that wanted Anna and Elsa married? Or the kid that told her father “that’s not how sisters talk to each other?” Even kids are catching on.

32. I want you to define siblings for me. Tell me what makes a sibling a sibling. If you can’t apply real life siblings to Elsa and Anna, they’re not siblings. They don’t know what that means.

33. Elsa and Anna are comfortable in the context of doing anything with each other. They don’t have to think about it or second guess what they’re doing. If it feels right, it feels right.

34. Anna looks at Elsa like she is the special woman in her life. Her eyes do this thing. I can’t explain it.

35. Elsa may not understand love as well as Anna does but she does understand Anna’s love for her is indefinite. That’s why she runs from Anna out of fear.

36. You push away the one person you love the most. Elsa needs to learn to create a sense of unity with Anna.

37. They’re distracted by each other and forget other people exist. Anna only sees Elsa. Elsa only sees Anna.

38. In Frozen Fever, they had the red string of fate also known as the red thread of marriage. Why not a different color? Why red specifically?

39. Elsa doesn’t appreciate Anna bringing men to her. I don’t think she ever will.

40. The script made them like lovers. A sisterly dynamic wasn’t conveyed well on screen. They didn’t work out like sisters.

41. Forbidden love is popular. Although, that’s not the reason why I personally love them together.

42. The angst between Elsa and Anna is another reason. They challenge each other.

43. Because of the complexity. That’s a recipe for exploring the two in a variety of ways. They just work romantically.

44. They’re taken in every sense of the word.

45. Being in love with each other is all Elsa and Anna know how to do. That’s the one thing they can’t go wrong with.

46. I didn’t choose Elsanna. Elsanna chose me.

47. I love how they’re so in sync.

48. Love is love. Your heart wants what it wants. You can’t fight the feeling.

49. Elsa and Anna are the best of the bestest love story. No one comes close to them.

50. They’re love is permanent.

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRR Book 3 Chapter 11

• Again, fam, I'm not entirely sure I'll have this QT out in time but I hope I will. My surgery has been fixed for next Thursday, and I'd like to finish whatever I can before I leave for hospital. It's going to be hard, but fingers crossed I can get it done.

Here is Part 2 of Chapter 11's Quick Thoughts once you're through with this one!

• I'm noticing a narrative pattern here! Whenever something devastating is happening right in front of us (like the two attacks in the palace) they immediately pick up from where they left off in the previous chapter, bring that portion to its dramatic conclusion, and then play the opening theme (in this case, it's the sad version of the TRR title track). They used a similar narrative format in Chapter 1 of this book.

• This is also the third time the sad TRR track plays in the book. The only time it was played sans the narrative style of Chapter 1 and Chapter 10's openings, was in Chapter 6, after the orchard at Applewood was burned. All at points of time when all hope seems to be lost, before our lead characters get up, dust themselves off, and resolve to keep going despite everything and everyone against them.

• It was pretty clear that Constantine would sacrifice his life in this chapter, given the way he was talking at the end of the last one. It's the kind of symbolic send-off one tends to write for a character one knows will die sooner than he anticipates. Which is why even though I'm kinda pissed that Leo comes now when everything seems safe, I understand why having him there is so important. In the narrative, Leo is an important part of the closure that comes before Constantine's demise.

•

A few notes on Constantine's demise:

1. He's right about one thing: it definitely is a better end for him. He dies a hero. Cordonia never finds out that he was going to die anyway. No one gets to know what he did to the future Queen/newest Duchess either. I'm still going to be unhappy about this because it's a way better end than the man deserves.

2. I know I would find it disturbing if the man who arranged for me to be harmed in multiple ways in his own house was hailed a hero during his funeral, with only me and a handful of other people knowing he had done, and without the option of ever opening up about who was really behind it. I don't know about you, but my MC Esther would definitely feel conflicted about that.

3. Also..."everything I did, it was for you...whether or not it was right". Sorry Constantine, but that's a load of bullshit. After all this time, this man is still making excuses just before he dies. Liam answered this brilliantly in the last book - Constantine had a choice. He always had a choice. There were other, better ways of getting the MC out of the competition if that was his goal but no, his mind went straight to privacy violations and assault.

4. Also, while he pledged to help us under pressure from Liam, the fact remains that the brunt of his actions were borne by other people. The MC's name was dragged into the mud and SHE had to run around and make all the effort of setting it right. Liam was forced into a loveless match that would have culminated in a disastrous marriage had Tariq not cooperated, and he had to work on figuring out who was behind this not knowing his own family was involved. In all this, Constantine did all the work of making his own home as unsafe for his guest as it could possibly get, and very little of the work in restoring her reputation in the eyes of all of Cordonia. Did he apologize? Sure he did. But that doesn't change a damned thing. It doesn't change the fact that he sowed evil and left it for other people to reap.

5. I find his last line to Liam quite poignant though. "You are Cordonia". That's a very loaded statement, and a very accurate one. And I think if there is anything that can keep Liam strong and carry him forward, it's that. No one in this book is as immersed in the culture, history and spirit of Cordonia as Liam is - which is why he makes the best king for the nation. Because he knows it intimately and cares for it, he knows what this country needs so it can heal. Even if it takes a while for Liam to realize that himself.

6. So long, old man.

• Title: Cold Fire. Kinda fitting, considering our tour has now moved to Lythikos, but the 'heat' of the tensions within the court have turned up several notches. It could also refer to that sick, sick burn Drake delivered to Madeleine today though 😂😂😂

• Alternative titles:

Drink What Everyone Else Is Drinking. Good For Health.

Drake Doesn't Need A Sword to Slay Assholes. Nor Does Olivia, Apparently.

@callmetippytumbles suggested a shorter and better alternative title to that one, and it's: Drake Roasts And Gets Roasted.

• I was hoping we would spend at least a chapter in the Capitol and, yknow, actually help Liam work through his grief, but nope. Flash-forward it is.

• Bastien is in hospital now, with injuries sustained from escorting people out of the palace, so Mara (who apparently hasn't been sleeping since the attack) is the one doing the debriefing on his behalf.

• It's clear to Liam and our friends NOW that whoever has been conspiring against us was a part of the Unity Tour and working from the inside (bruh, I could have told you that long ago). I'm thinking now that if Neville is part of this plan, perhaps the duel was meant to serve as a distraction so arrangements could be made within the time that the entire court was out in the courtyard. Just a theory.

• This was also alluded to in Perfect Match, when one of Nadia's alternative identities is Steel, a guest in the 'royal's tour who is actually an assassin.

•

This is perhaps the closest we get to Liam confessing how much all this has been affecting him, and sadly enough, he doesn't have enough time to really work through his grief. The suggestion to continue to Lythikos and get their answers there comes from Liam, and he speaks of it as something Constantine would have wanted. It isn't entirely healthy, but I think this is the way Liam has been brought up and it's hard for him to give himself time to be vulnerable, to give himself the space to grieve properly. Because now more than ever he has an entire country depending on him, and the royal family is known for projecting displays of strength and stoicism even if they don't feel it. It's not a good way of working through one's issues, but it's probably the only way Liam knows to deal with his trauma. I feel like in a lot of ways he's reliving especially the assassination attempt that happened earlier, but worse because someone he loved actually died this time. I'd definitely see some signs of PTSD at work here, even if it's suppressed. Particularly given that he speaks of feeling empty.

•

Waitaminute...are you telling me that Esther, the future Queen of Cordonia, is going to attend a Ball, her fiancé's father's funeral, a meeting, and an entire trip to Lythikos in this fever dream of a costume???

Fine. Fine, Esther, I give up. Fanta bottle inspired Stephanie Seymour gown it is 🙄

• What Madeleine says about the effect the MC has (particularly if the MC chooses all the right options during the tour) on people is very very similar to the last thing Constantine said before he died:

I'm guessing in a lot of ways this is seen as the MC's personal victory. Constantine and Madeleine were the two people who believed least that the MC had anything of value to give if she became Queen or a person of power in Cordonian politics. It was a long hard road to achieving this level of confidence even in her naysayers, so in a lot of ways the MC now truly is a unifying factor. Which makes me wonder what they say if you do a gag-run instead where the MC fails miserably during the tour. I know @boneandfur is doing such a playthrough as of now, but I don't know exactly if Madeleine and Constantine's words to her change in such an eventuality.

•

OMG. The design team is KILLING IT with the OOTD this week! It's gorgeous, and it tells us plenty about the Lythikos duchy and the Nevrakis House! For those of you who haven't read my House Sigils essay, I theorized that red was one of the house tinctures (colours), and that the sigil was either a sword or a spider. The flaming sword is attached to the gown (possibly as a brooch pin). @i-dream-so-i-write and I discussed this, and it was she who pointed out that Diavolos signature weapon was the flaming sword, as can be seen from the above picture. I'm not sure which metallic colour would form the second colour/tincture, but evidence seems to be learning more towards silver (there is a little gold on the brooch-sword, so it could be either). Tldr: I love this gown. It has that grace and effortless style that I've come to associate with Nevrakis fashion.

• Olivia is wearing the gown she wore for her Coronation. Come to think of it, the Scarlet Duchess moniker that Olivia got would refer to way more than her fashion. Given that it's one of her house colours and she was proud to be a Nevrakis especially at the time, Scarlet Duchess would mean so much to her. So much.

• So we're seated in the front and served fresh, piping hot food. SWEET! XD This time we get to order stuff. Maxwell gets fondue, Hana gets glazed salmon and Drake has ordered for ribs.

• Olivia: I had to request a few changes for your more...rustic palette.

Drake: Are you expecting a thanks? Because you're not getting one.

You're in for the meal of your life, Walker 😂

•

If you've never liked Olivia at all before? This scene in reason enough 😂😂😂

• Lucretia drops by to make more heavy hints about marriage prospects for Olivia (including relief that her niece wasn't scarred from rubble. How...caring).

• Olivia and Liam then perform the opening dance (like they did during the social season) and Liam takes this opportunity to find out what she knows. He gets little, beyond her worries about having to marry someone Lucretia will pick for her. Hana points out that perhaps "one has to wonder who Lucretia wants Olivia to marry". Good question.

• But before that, Kiara comes up to the MC to tell her she will be withdrawing from court after the Winter Festival ends. Kiara's argument is sound - she had already extended her public support and seems to be attending the wedding. But now is a dangerous time to be a part of the court, and Kiara's doing what she can to stay safe. Remember, she was the only noblewoman in court injured during the attack at Homecoming Ball, a fact that was given hardly a minute of consideration before the MC "convinced" her to join them again.

• Hana mentions that perhaps they can speak to her before she returns. I hope this means we will FINALLY address what happened to Kiara and look into possible - very valid - concerns about her safety. This is something we SHOULD have been talking about when we meet her at Castelserraillian, but no. PB decided to create a whole new character instead just so Kiara wouldn't get the attention she deserved as a character.

• Then again, she is seen as a suspect in a way none of the other court ladies (besides Olivia, and she's only viewed as such because of her family history) are. Sigh. The MC gets the option to speculate that she "knows something" and Drake gets to answer that "we must suspect everyone". DRAKE. Who ALSO got wounded at the same Ball that she was wounded in. Ugh. I mean I shouldn't be surprised considering he gets angry about people not supporting Liam barely hours after he got shot, but he's friends with the King. Kiara is not, and if she gets wounded again wouldn't it be their fault for not addressing the concerns she and her family had in the first place? Apparently Penelope's and Madeleine's concerns should be given ample consideration, but Kiara? Kiara who?? Oh right, Penelope's love interest's sister 😠 While we're at it, let's just make her suspicious for no reason!

• CONGRATULATIONS MAXWELL STANS on getting your first character development scene! There isn't a lot of overt character development but the scene does show us how observant and resourceful Maxwell is, pointing out the hole in the armoury wall that will allow us to overhear people's conversations and give us a better idea of who we should suspect. It does this while still establishing him as goofy, fun-living and always ready to live life king-size.

• Maxwell and the MC engage in what is known in European folklore as an apple-shot (Apfelschuss in German. The most popular folk tale involving this feat of archery is that of William Tell, a Swiss folk hero, who was ordered to shoot an apple from the top of his son's head by a cruel nobleman named Albrecht Gessler. Thankfully, he succeeded).

• Oooh now comes my favourite part: the weapons!

• This is an amazing Easter Egg in two ways if you're a TCaTF fan. One is that it reminds me SO MUCH of when Val gets to be the narrator, which is ALWAYS fun! Case in point are the names she gives the Iron Empire soldiers at Ennan: Pointy, Mr Fancy, Birdface, Grumpy and That Other Guy. Here, the MC gives names to all the weapons.

• So if you're someone who has played TCaTF and forgotten the weapons, no problem! I'm here to list out what these weapons are actually called, where they originated from and how Kenna (if the reader pays) gets them!

• The Weirdly Fancy Dagger is the Black Asps Dagger (which I think might be venom-tipped, like Adder's Fang) which Raydan gets from a Black Asp agent when he is imprisoned under Azura's orders. I see this weapon as being associated most with Abanthus/Lythikos in this list of weapons, because it comes from Adder's team of Lykos spies and assassins, and eventually (if Kenna chooses so) Adder can get to rule over this kingdom either alone or alongside Princess Zenobia (or not at all).

The Dragon Face Hammer! is actually the famous Wave Hammer, made by Kailani Keawe of Ebrimel - a fierce warrior and a skilled craftswoman - from Heart Oak Wood sneaked in from Thorngate. Heart Oak has all the appearance of wood with all the strength of metal, and makes for an amazing secret weapon.

The Ram Head Thing is Crown Guardian Leon Stirling's signature weapon - The Ram's Head Mace. This is a weapon clearly associated with Stormholt as Queen Adriana bequeathed it to him. Leon gets to pass it down to Kenna upon his death, if she so chooses. This mace is strong enough to crush armour, and Leon won the tournament at Ducitora with it before Azura killed him.

The Skull...Flail? is Val Greaves' signature weapon, The Deadman's Flail, which is powerful enough to crush armour. Kenna can use this weapon in her fight against Severin Cale, Leader of the Mercenaries. Val herself uses it often in battle.

The polo mallet is just...there.

• Ooh finally! It's time to investigative.

1. Madeleine approaching a man the MC has rejected in favour of her current fiancé. If you're marrying Liam, this man is Drake and he gets to roast Madeleine like she's never been roasted before ("Liam does get what he wants. That means he also gets to throw away what he doesn't want"). If you're marrying Drake, Hana or Maxwell, she is talking to Liam, addressing the king-sized elephant in the room. Liam doesn't pull any extra punches - he just looks extra annoyed and tells her he's "had other matters to attend to". It may seem like a weak defense in comparison to Drake's explosive comeback, but to be fair the man is going through some crazy shit here, and I don't think anyone in that state can actually expand enough thought to form a rebuttal at all. I doubt he'd have either the inclination or energy to actually respond with more than "I've had other matters to attend to". It's particularly awkward if your LI is Maxwell because he is standing right next to you hearing all this, but that hardly reflects in his dialogue. Basically, I view this sequence as telling us more about Madeleine than about the men: she may have changed a tiny bit, but she's still just a huge shit-stirrer.

Possibly, this might be set up for the apology that will ensue if we save Madeleine's backstabbing ass next chapter. It'll be something along the lines of "oh forgive me, I was so wrong, what I did was so wrong, I'll never do that again" etc etc yadda yadda getouttamyfaceyoufakeassbitch.

Also, I believe that the part of the reason Drake delivered that zinger to Madeleine was because he was still stinging from Olivia's burn at dinner 😂

2. While there are very few differences between the first and last conversations, the second conversation changes drastically depending on who your LI is.

a. If your LI is Liam, Hakim comes up to Liam, gives him his condolences for Constantine's death, and then comments positively on Esther and the upcoming wedding, which leads to a discussion between the MC and Maxwell about wedding preparations. I think this is mostly because Kiara never really interacts with Liam, so they got Hakim to do the honors. Over here though, Hakim and Liam's conversation about the wedding forms only a tiny portion of the conversation, as opposed to the entire thing.

b. If your LI is Hana, Kiara and Hana have a lovely, lighthearted conversation about the latter's upcoming wedding. Kiara expresses great happiness at Hana getting married to the MC, and Hana confesses to being so nervous she constantly dreams about it. I love the way Hana and Kiara's friendship is written here: how open Hana is with Kiara and how encouraging and supportive Kiara is towards Hana. I think it's so beautiful to see 😭

c. If your LI is Maxwell? It's Hana and Kiara again, this time speculating what the MC's wedding to Maxwell will be like. Kiara confesses that she plans to skip a cousin's reception on the same day by pretending to be ill, just so she can attend their reception instead. Together they discuss what surprises the Beaumonts might spring during the reception - from dance-offs to ball pits to hot air balloons filled with kittens. Here too, it's a lovely moment - two of the smartest court members having fun talking about weddings.

d. If your LI is Drake, Kiara talks to him instead. First about the offerings at the dessert buffet, then about the wedding. Kiara is overly chirpy and happy and excited about the wedding, and Drake tenses up when she turns the topic towards the wedding preparations, because those are "complicated". Of course, if you do the LI scene with him at the ice palace, you will find out that he doesn't like talking about it because he would rather keep things simple and focus on his bride, and the nobility is all about perfection and elaborate preparations. Very possibly the Kiara-Drake conversation was written this way as a lead-up to his conversation with the MC at the snow palace. (and perhaps also to dissuade people who would like to ship Drake and Kiara, especially given the backlash Kiara got from fans just for having a crush on the man).

The main focus of this conversation of course is to give out the message that the MC's upcoming wedding is something that still excites people, and that even people afraid of staying in court don't want to miss it.

3. The third conversation between Olivia and Lucretia is given the suspicious sounding music from ES, and begins with Lucretia trying to find out more about the MC. Olivia doesn't tell her much beyond what everyone else knows, and Lucretia leaves her with this cryptic statement:

I feel we're going to have a Big Reveal about what actually happened to the Nevrakises and whether they really were traitors or not.

• With that we finish our little stint at investigation, and in comes our next chance to spend diamonds on our respective LIs!

• I love how Liam's outdoor kink has been referenced two chapters in a row now 😂

•

(Screenshots: @kennaxval for Hana, @mariamatsuo for Drake and the Vika Avey YouTube channel for Maxwell).

Again, like the previous scene, the LIs have their own individual stamp over their ice palace scene. The beauty of it is not just that they all seem different in the way they make love to the MC, but that their reactions to the ice palace itself vary from LI to LI.

Liam gives us a legend. He tells us about the prevalent pre-wedding tradition in Lythikos, where an engaged couple would have their village build them an ice palace the following winter. Kind of like a seasonal barn-raising, which also involves a community coming together to build something for the couple. It says plenty about Lythikos and its people (I won't elaborate because at some point I'm going to be writing essays again). But it also confirms for us how immersed in Cordonian culture Liam is, and how much his Queen will learn when she is with him.

Hana gives us a fairytale. She tells us a story her mother used to read to her at night, about a frozen kingdom, an ice palace and a princess with a frozen heart, which thawed the moment she found true love. The fairytale Hana tells us bears similarities to Hans Christian Andersen's "The Snow Queen", and more to the film it inspired, Frozen. But snow maidens are a staple of certain European cultures (particularly Norwegian and Slavic legend), so it could be a mix of many stories. It's fitting that Hana relates the ice palace to a story, connected as she is to literature and folklore and romance. In a lot of ways, hidden beneath the fable of the ice princess is Hana's own story.

Drake gives us a memory. As a follow-through to the conversation between him and Kiara in Maxwell's armoury scene if the reader bought it (unbeknownst to him, because he doesn't know the MC was overhearing them) he gets to be more open about not being very interested in planning weddings. His ideal would have been to take his bride to his mother's ranch in Texas for a wedding very reminiscent of his parents' union, and were Cordonia not in this condition that's exactly what he would have done. It's very like Drake, whose most powerful emotional associations are connected to his once-happy childhood and his memories of his parents, particularly his father.

Maxwell gives us an gift, made with his own hands. When he brings the MC to the ice palace, he suggests creating ice sculptures, and both make one of each other. It's a sweet, funny and affectionate scene, with both of them exchanging cute banter about Maxwell's "secret affair" with "Ice MC" and his tongue getting stuck in ice while pretending to kiss her 😂 It's very Maxwell. He's very hands-on, likes to do fun things, likes to entertain. And that's exactly the vibe I'm getting here.

The love scenes are tender and sweet and hot, and I think each of these scenes is worth the diamonds you'll spend. The scenes are tailored perfectly to fit the personalities of each LI. This is exactly what I hoped to see with scenes like the bathtub scene at the beginning of the book, and the spa scene. If they continue with this kind of quality content going forward, then I'm really really glad they took that hiatus.

• Okay we're back to the ballroom now. With Madeleine super drunk on...um...some pineapple drink.

• Madeleine is the only person to have the pineapple drink, and she seems to have an affinity for pineapple's since Maxwell offered her that Pineapple Paradise Punch in Fydelia. Everyone else is drinking Lythikos Nog.

• Madeleine collapses in the middle of Olivia's speech!

• The security detail uses "Code Locusta" to refer to poisons. Which is fitting, because Locusta was a very notorious maker of poisons during the time of Claudius and Nero (around AD 54 was when she contributed to the assassination of Emperor Claudius, and his son Brittanicus a year later). She was not only someone who was an expert on poisons and hired for that purpose, but also someone who used her skills to bring down royalty at the behest of their enemies. This could be a bit of a stretch, but I think this ties in symbolically with the plot of the movie scene in Liam's playthrough, where the enemy of the throne is someone who also can claim to be a royal. Especially considering poisons have been used to kill Liam's mother, and now to kill a supporter of the Crown and the MC, and a member of a very powerful Cordonian noble house. And yet...the other noble house - the Nevrakis family of Lythikos - stays untouched.

• The last time I recall "Locusta" being used in literature was in Alexandre Dumas' (père) The Count of Monte Cristo. A chapter of this book, in which a woman attempts to poison her stepdaughter so the family fortune could be passed on to her son, was titled Locusta as well.

• Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, folks. Or should I say, in the Kingdom of. Cordonia?

• Can I just say I love the parallels between Lythikos in Book 1 and now? We learned a little about Olivia's past in passing from Liam here, and now it will hit us in full force in the form of Lucretia. Constantine didn't seem to be in Lythikos, and returned to tell Liam that he was going to die soon, and now we visit the same estate after he has given his life to save his son.

Olivia gave us the worst place and the worst treatment then, and the best now. We convinced Kiara to support us in this very ballroom, and perhaps we might have to do so now too. It was here that Madeleine proudly claimed she was neither unrefined or insecure...but now she doesn't care about propriety.

I recall it was here for the first time that Maxwell stans were given the chance to express affection towards him, and it's here that they now get his first character development scene in Book 3. Most of all...it was here that the initial 3 LIs started to open up to us, in different ways, (if we paid) and now we return...an engaged couple - shedding all our layers and keeping each other warm in the cold (again, if we pay). I have many fond memories of Lythikos, and this chapter definitely brought me back there xD

• Tumblr isn't allowing me to write further for this post, so I will be writing my theories and who I believe is involved in the next post.

[eyesaremosaics]

Apologies for anon, I don't have a tumblr right now! I love the creativity of your zodiac posts and am curious to know your opinion of Librans. I always see them described as kind of vapid types who are only interested in appearances, and it puzzles and amuses me since it doesn't match me or any other Librans I know...

Ahoy fellow Libran! I completely agree with your opinion about vapid descriptions of Libra’s. We get rather glossed over as opposed to more… Say volatile signs. It honestly depends on what is in their chart.

A libra with heavy water influence will appear fragile, delicate, as though she were going to crack like very fine porcelain. This appearance is deceptive, because a Libra’s bones are comprised of nine parts steel. Libra has strength in their convictions, they have strong moral opinions of right and wrong. Even though they entertain both sides of the argument for the sake of fairness, they have little tolerance for injustice.

Libra’s often get anxiety about making the wrong decision. They loathe to be perceived as naive or gullible (which people often mistake them for). The issue is that they can empathize and understand where each individual is coming from, this makes them marginalize their own feelings as lacking in importance.

One of my favorite examples is my beloved Jim Henson (his birthday is the day after mine! Heehee) he was so creative, so kind hearted, fair minded and all inclusive. He brought people together to create, not only for arts sake, but with the intention to educate, amuse and inspire others. He was very concerned about the welfare of underprivileged youth, which is what motivated him to create Sesame Street. He wanted children who couldn’t afford to go to pre-school, learn the basics of writing, math, interpersonal communication, self awareness, problem solving etc. all free via basic cable.

That is a very altruistic, ambitious and forward thinking project. Yet he made it a reality, a reality which is still popular today. Even though he was the head of his company, he leveled the playing feel with each puppeteer, artist, etc. He treated everyone as equals, he valued everyone’s opinions, and though they were technically his projects, he saw them as collaborations.

Libra’s are so involved with relating to others, attending to their needs, that they often forget themselves. The saddest story I ever heard about Jim Henson, was that he was very sick for a long time, he kept it hidden from everyone–even his own wife and children. On the set of his later films, he would retire to the bathroom to cough up blood in his hands. Wash up, put on a brave face, and go back to work like nothing was wrong.

Finally, it became so severe he could no longer hide it. They took him to the doctor, but it was too late. At that point the disease had progressed so far that there was nothing they could do. When asked why he didn’t tell anyone what was going on… He paused, before gently and politely saying: “ I just didn’t want to be a bother to anyone.”

This is a tragic, but prime example of how Libra’s rate themselves lowest on the totem pole of priorities. This sweet and gentle man who brought so much joy and magic into the world, neglected his own well being because he didn’t want to trouble anyone else. Libra’s can be self sacrificing or martyrs if you will.

Because they are highly moral creatures who like to believe the good in everyone, they are often manipulated or badly used. They get taken advantage of by people who prey on their good nature. On the darker side however, Libra’s can be master manipulators. They differ from a Scorpio in the sense that Scorpio needs to be in control to feel safe, libra is self righteous, they feel privately that their way is the right way. So they will charm you, using the power of suggestion, somehow convincing you that it was your own idea–to get their way. The iron fist in the velvet glove so to speak.

Libra children are very good at using their natural attractiveness to get what they want out of adults. They pull the “cute kid” card most effectively. This can translate into adulthood, though it depends on the chart. If a libra has a lot of air in Thor chart… They will tend to be more flighty and superficial as you described. For they have more water, they will be dreamy, sad and mysterious looking, with a melancholic disposition. If they have a lot of fire, they will be more outgoing and overtly charismatic. Libra’s are naturally charming, it is a big characteristic of the sign, yet it manifests differently depending on the rest of the chart.

Libra can be a bit of a hipster, they are very cultured, have great raft in art, music, food/wine. As cultured creatures and natural host’s, they live to entertain. They can be a bit of an “art snob” (as my mother once called me). They can be counted on to decorate, curate, style etc. They have great fashion sense, and are often noticed for their sense of style. Dita Von Teese is a prime example.

Libra’s are intelligent and amusing companions, they are good listeners, have a great sense of humor, and the natural ability to put others at ease in social situations. They are classy, and like to travel in style. Ruled by Venus (the same as Taurus) they can be prone to excess. Libra’s can be counted on to gracefully keep the conversation going amidst many different personality types. They are natural equalizers. Their presence is calming. Since they are so conscious of others, they will notice if you are struggling socially, and will kindly sit by you and invite you over to join the conversation. They hate odd numbers, and can’t bear to see people left out.

They are very sympathetic to the suffering of others, and will work tirelessly to bring balance to any atmosphere of discord.

Now, if a libra is unevolved, they can be “mean girls”, certainly, but this is not often the case. Libra is generally very self conscious, because their scales tip back and fourth so frequently. More than any other sign, libra relies heavily on the opinions of others. They will deny it until there is no tomorrow, but they deeply need people. Libra is the sign of relationship, without a community, without a partnership… Libra wilts, and becomes very sad and despondent. Libra thrives off connection.

This is not to say they are incapable of being alone, Libra’s are very independent. They are ambitious and hardworking when it is for a good cause or something hey believe in. They get lazy when their scales tip into depression. Libra is always looking for balance, but can rarely maintain it. Often their experience is vacillation and confusion. In truth, libra can sometimes spend so much time going back and fourth between options that they end up not making a decision. So fearful of making the “wrong” decision, they end up standing still, watching life go by without them.

Libra’s can’t fake enthusiasm, they would rather do nothing than produce shoddy work. They can tend to be a bit defeatist if they can’t get something “just right”. Anxiety and tension arises for them if they feel rushed. They need time to perfect what ever it is they are doing. To Libra, life is a living, breathing work of art.

Love is kryptonite for a libra. They are in love with love, hopeless romantics, either openly and passionately pursuing their love interest, or desperately longing in angst for the object of their affections. Libra’s are really good at the whole star crossed/dying of love thing. They are good with words, and can sweep you off your feel with their poetry. They have a way of making you feel cherished. Like you are the only person who exists to them, and you are. Libra’s are generally very loyal creatures. They are so devoted to relationships in general, that cheating is dishonorable to them.

However, an unevolved libra (or a young soul libra) can be a bit more vapid. In love with the chase, or the thrill of the pursuit. I have known a male libra like this. He was a total piece of manipulative shit, yet his kind is not the norm. So I will just say there are exceptions to every rule, but Libra’s generally work very hard at making all their relationships a success.

They are devoted partners, who love the idea of being a “team” or a “power couple”. That is the ultimate fantasy for a libra. To have a Brangelina type romance, to be the envy of others in their unity with their partner. They are co-conspirators, confidantes. An example of this would be F. Scott Fitzgerald, who fell madly in love with Zelda Sayre. They were the power couple of the 1920’s, invited to lavish parties, traveling to bohemian Paris post WWI.

Yet their relationship was troubled first with class inadequacies, followed by career jealousies, and ultimately madness and addiction. Still Scott held on to this romantic narrative of he and Zelda. How they crossed oceans of time to be together, and admitting her to a mental hospital is what led him over the edge with his alcoholism to the point of his early death. Though he romanced other women in Hollywood in the 1940’s, he consistently chose women who reminded him of Zelda. He never got over her.

Libra’s are remarkably intelligent, adept at literature (reading/writing/poetry/comprehension) and the arts in general (painting,drawing,drama, music etc). The arts and literature come naturally to them, and other people often envy the effortlessness of these capabilities. They make good business partners, as well as politicians. Libra is reluctant to take a position of authority, but will do it on behalf of a good cause.

A libra woman, will fill your home with beautiful decor, and creature comforts. She may love extravagance, or she may prefer minimalism, regardless she loves to entertain friends and family. Hosting parties is what she does best. She will throw a fabulous event full of fun and interesting people from all walks of life.

Libra’s are painted as unemotional, this could not be any further than the truth. The problem is libra tries to over intellectualize as a coping mechanism, and often gets lost in their own thoughts. They are prisoners of their fear of inadequacy. Their sense of self is not stable at all. Without someone else to bounce their ideas off of, they shrivel up inside. Internally… The crumble to dust. Do not leave a libra alone for too long.

If you do, they are prone to indulging in drink, food, and if they have heavy water influence (especially Pisces) drugs. Libra has a hard time facing themselves. Deep down they feel they have little value without being in connection with another person as a symbiotic creature. The older they get, the more they feel like time is ticking out. Deep down they feel that honest love will never come to them.

Libra begins with the end of summer. The fall equinox takes place around my birthday every year. A time when the warm climate beings to temper with a cool breeze, and the leaves go gold and dry, falling away from the trees as gentle feathers. Libra is a time of harvest, or change. They are the beginning of winters preparation.

A sultry time leading into October. Full of bright orange, golds, browns. They are he scent of pumpkin spice. Clean fresh linen hung out to dry. They are dusk, a romantic walk with hands intertwined. They are rose petal trails, French perfume, oddities, antiques, collectibles. Fine china in glass cases. Glinting in the dimly lit room. They are the opalescent sheen in carnival glass. Fresh pressed clothing. The evidence of a party from the night before.

The end of the champagne, with coupe glasses. Art Deco, opulent ceilings, peacock feathers arranged delicately in a jar. They are shoegaze music, the lonely reverb of the guitar. Empty echoes of loneliness, intricate lace coming apart with age. They are moth eaten fabric, the light pouring in through the blinds, warming your skin in slivers. They are false lashes, skin care products, satin heels strewn across hardwood floors. Persian rugs, Tiffany lamps, Christmas lights, the faint trace of glitter left on your clothes.

They are 90s club kids, wind instruments, art gallery openings, a museum. They are guided tours, elegant ballrooms, a tailor shop full of bridal gowns. They are Lucy from Dracula, the sound of a typewriter, a gentle breeze guiding a curtain as a wildly disembodied spirit, the scent of an old leather bound book, a sea of potpourri. The feeling of being full after a fine meal. The effervescence of a good champagne. How crisp be satisfying the taste. Making you sleepy in the late afternoons.

Idealized love. Companionship. Bridge to Teribithia, “somewhere there is a place for us”. Eloping in beautiful seclusion. Promise rings. Friendship bracelets. A silver locket with your picture in it.

Feeling sad about being constantly overlooked or devalued. Being seen as that which the sign denotes–an inanimate object. The heaviness of drink having gone over the limit. The feeling of failure when a relationship ends. Panic attacks, love letters, abandoned places, overgrown with ivy. The secret garden, fairy tales, disco lights, velvet drapes. Falling into a trance. Hypnotism. The dream of love, as a two way mirror.

Rita Hayworth in “Gilda”, seen as a sexual object, but never for their brains. Having people fall in love with your image, but never your entirety.

[screemagazine]

The Saddest Joy

On the release of Viktor’s Joy “I used to be clean”, a few words about the album, and a few more words with guitarist and songwriter Kaarel Malken… Having been tipped off by a musician friend from Herefordshire, I went to see Viktor’s Joy play in a pop up bar in some nondescript corner of Berlin when I was there last year.  The walls were scoured and mottled with patches of paint over bare plaster, the lighting dim.  Viktor’s Joy are led by Kaarel Malken (guitar, vocals).  He played fingerpicked guitar with a gentle but technical drummer (Jim Good) on a stripped down kit.  As we waited for them to come on music from Leonard Cohen’s first album set up the ambience, an obvious precedent.  I think it is probably lazy journalism to write soundbites like “Viktor’s Joy are Estonia’s answer to Leonard Cohen”, but the restraint of the music and depth of the lyrics encourage such behaviour.  Another comparison is Elliott Smith, particularly evident on the poetic and wearily lilting Parade Song #2, which even the title appears to be a conscious nod to the dear, departed American singer, sounding reminiscent of something off Either/or. The gig was beautiful, and swept us away.  At the end of the gig I spoke to Kaarel about his music, and he was kind enough to give me a pre-release of the album in a handmade cover for review in SCree.  I looked forward to playing it at home, and have played it sporadically since.  The album is out now, and I recommend you hear it, particularly if you are keen on melancholy folky singer songwriter stuff as I am.  Some music you hear seems to pose with miserable depth as a kind of sad expression forced to convince of profundity.  This music speaks of genuine experience, and seems to talk of growing up in Estonia and life experiences that transcend the specifics of their birth.  All the Promises Ever Made talk of the perils of addiction and how easily we fall into smoking, drinking, drugging.  There is a nostalgia to it as well as regret.  The refrain “never again” speaks of our brief determination to avoid destructive behaviour that is so easily forgotten.  The music sits in a rolling groove that has something of the Velvet Underground in the swooping electric guitar part.  There is variety on this record as well as coherence, in the instrumentation as in the arrangements.  The following track The Taste I remember, She Became a Ghost, is woven through with fast picking and tells a story effectively and evocatively.  It is haunting, ethereal and worn with a weary strength.  The guitar playing is almost Spanish classical style, particularly in the interludes.  He makes use of repetition to effectively show the tide of passing time.   Even more Spanish is the virtuosic opening lick to Lake Ontario, which is a short flourish before the cyclical picking comes in.  Again, there is an anecdotal narrative to it which is poetic and evocative.  Characters are introduced alongside the places they live.  Glacial vocals echo between verses.  The production is reverb-heavy and deep.  It sounds like it was recorded in an empty building.  The closing track Sisters ends on a slightly different note.  There is a warmth in the recording that offsets the wistfulness.  Like the bittersweet end to an eventful journey.  

A few questions: When did you first pick up the guitar? Growing up in a small town, surrounded by nothing but Soviet block houses, derelict playgrounds and seemingly endless  fields of peat, there were really not that many options. Either you take to kicking around a ball  or you take to kicking around other kids, most seemed to prefer the latter. Luckily my sisters, being ten years older than me,  saw the last of MTV and VH1 . By the time I got there the funeral procession was over  and the burial was about to end - the music industry, wearing shorts, was filming the open grave for a new reality TV show. I was the social experiment, the kid brother, the one who had to wear  "Guns n’ Roses" T-shirts and grow his hair long - during a time of shaved heads and garbage disco music. In the late nineties my father got offered a job, in Moscow, as a warehouse keeper. A few times a year he’d  return with a trunk full of  shovels, power drills, hammers, saws  and other tools he had managed to steal from the warehouse. Everything  spray painted red to fool the Russian customs into believing they were used. There had been a snowstorm the night before my dad arrived. An endless carpet of pure white. I was leaning over the sill, looking out from the kitchen window. My eyes were watery from the cold, but my excitement got the best of me. He parked his Lada and from the backseat he would lift out a large cardboard box, with the words “Dolby Surround” printed on its side. Little did I know that the content of that very box would affect my day to day existence to an almost unhealthy degree. During the following  years our collection of pirated cassette tapes and compact discs grew with  albums from Nirvana, Offspring, Dire Straits, Korn, Kino etc. Anything the shopkeeper in Moscow could copy on a CD-R and send to my sisters. Perhaps it was the sub-woofer that ignited my obsession to become a drummer, perhaps not, but by the time I turned ten I had begun taking lessons in the  local music school. My teacher was a middle aged marching band percussionist with a serious boozing problem. The four years under his tyranny taught me more about the side effects of binge drinking rather than drums. “For Christ sake boy, you keep missing the  f*ing beat train!” : something I’ll remember for the rest of my life. I called it quits after failing to perform  to a handful of  Sunday afternoon pensioners, my mother and my teacher,  in the city hall. Years  later, on my way to university, I walked past a plate glass window of a small music shop. The sign said : “20% off all instruments!!!” in big bright letters. With the little  I had saved,  working night shifts as a receptionist in a hotel,  and with the help of my parents, I scraped together enough to buy a blue XS plywood guitar. I composed my first song three days later. A two chord, short lived disaster. Last time I saw the guitar, hung by its neck, behind a plate glass window of a pawn shop - once more, discounted. What have you been doing up until now? Do you have any other interests beyond music? I’ve worked as a dishwasher, pastry chef, phone agent, engineer, as an extra in low budget German TV-movies. In other words, you name it - I’ve done it. Right now I’m sitting in a cafeteria a few blocks down the street from my house. I’ve been coming here for years to read and write. The bohemian life…. you know.  These days the place is full of prams and crying toddlers. One of them is drooling on my pants sleeve, as we speak. I find this drone of life calming. How did you find recording the album? Although the process started off in a proper studio, under the  guidance of a fantastic sound engineer, Martin Fiedler, I decided to continue by myself in the comfort of my bedroom - for the larger part. I suppose I felt intimidated by the expensive Neumann’s and the professional approach, deeming myself unworthy. In the long run, the positives outweighed the negatives and I learned how to use the equipment I had bought or borrowed from my friends ( mainly from my good buddy and band member Jim Good), during the years I’ve lived in Berlin. I guess the hardest part was recording the drums.  I used an old Russian Oktava that Jim brought back from Estonia a few summers ago - the only one that seemed to yield results. Jim is a subtle player , not a 4/4 rock drummer, and getting the sound I was looking for wasn’t as easy as I expected. It all worked out thanks to Jim’s infinite patience. Along the way Michael Brinkworth came to my aid with his beautiful 70’s Fender (I’m sorry if it wasn’t a Fender, Michael) and his ideas. Always a few hours late and out of breath - always passionate. He’s the most prolific  songwriter I  know and his input was more than welcomed. Some of my guitar tracks and vocal takes were done in a rehearsal room that used to belong to  Nina Hagen (something the locals seemed to take a lot of pride in). A damp basement full of old carpets and stale air. I spent a few weeks locked behind that massive metal door singing the same lines, over and over again. It was the following Autumn when I met Mauno Meesit from Grainy Records.  He was in the midst of recording his own album and was in need of a classical guitar. Our  mutual friend, who knew I had one,  got him to come to one of my shows. We barely spoke after the gig but in a couple of days I received an E-mail and from there on we got to speaking. Turned out he liked the show and was enthusiastic about the album I had been recording.  Soon enough he proposed me to join his label and I accepted without hesitation. I saw how serious he was about his own music and my mind was made up even before he asked. I’m not the easiest person to work with but Mauno’s, Buddha like, calmness bridged our way. The result is on my table, boxes full of it. Who could have imagined… What was the inspiration for the songs? I consider “I used to be clean”  a concept album. A retroperspective glimpse into my  childhood and how it was to grow up in the East during a time of despair and poverty as well as unity and love. I’m sure these themes will carry on into the future of my lyrics. Inspiration is an entity. Some sort of an astral being that enters and exits one’s body whenever and wherever. During these times I’m nothing but a medium in a state of unconscious effortlessness. Many of my songs are not born out of inspiration. These are the ones I’m never fully satisfied with, the conscious ones, the ones I labor over. The beauty of these songs lies in their ability to grow and change as I do. I’m learning how to work without inspiration yet remain open to it - it’s not that easy. How do you go about writing? My day kick-starts in the afternoon after a few cups of coffee. I try to write something in my diary every day. Sometimes it’s a poem or a short story, but mostly it amounts to nothing more but  everyday uneventfulness. It takes me weeks, months,  at times even years, to finish a song. Lately I feel as If I’m in  dire need of a break. Someplace quiet, outside this metropolitan cesspool. Someplace small where people go to sleep when the sun sets. Someplace where people talk about ordinary things, sit by a card table, eat canned sausages and drink clear spirits. Any place  considered “culturally inactive” according to metropolitan standards. Where can we hear it? www.bandcamp.com/viktorsjoy  or www.grainyrecords.com Where can we hear you play? The album release show, in Berlin,  will take place in Neue Nachbarn on the 5th of April. https://www.facebook.com/events/1879058472306213/1879252808953446/?notif_t=like&notif_id=1490094469947888 What are your plans for the future? Organize a couple of shows in Estonia and focus on writing and recording new tracks.

[gravityzine]

The Saddest Joy

On the release of Viktor’s Joy “I used to be clean”, a few words about the album, and a few more words with song writer Kaarel Malken...

Having been tipped off by a musician friend from Herefordshire, I went to see Viktor's Joy play in a pop up bar in some nondescript corner of Berlin when I was there last year.  The walls were scoured and mottled with patches of paint over bare plaster, the lighting dim.  Viktor's Joy are led by Kaarel Malken (guitar, vocals).  He played fingerpicked guitar with a gentle but technical drummer (Jim Good) on a stripped down kit.  As we waited for them to come on music from Leonard Cohen's first album set up the ambience, an obvious precedent.  I think it is probably lazy journalism to write soundbites like “Viktor's Joy are Estonia's answer to Leonard Cohen”, but the restraint of the music and depth of the lyrics encourage such behaviour.  Another comparison is Elliott Smith, particularly evident on the poetic and wearily lilting Parade Song #2, which even the title appears to be a conscious nod to the dear, departed American singer, sounding reminiscent of something off Either/or. The gig was beautiful, and swept us away.  At the end of the gig I spoke to Kaarel about his music, and he was kind enough to give me a pre-release of the album in a handmade cover for review in SCree.  I looked forward to playing it at home, and have played it sporadically since.  The album is out now, and I recommend you hear it, particularly if you are keen on melancholy folky singer songwriter stuff as I am.  Some music you hear seems to pose with miserable depth as a kind of sad expression forced to convince of profundity.  This music speaks of genuine experience, and seems to talk of growing up in Estonia and life experiences that transcend the specifics of their birth.  All the Promises Ever Made talk of the perils of addiction and how easily we fall into smoking, drinking, drugging.  There is a nostalgia to it as well as regret.  The refrain “never again” speaks of our brief determination to avoid destructive behaviour that is so easily forgotten.  The music sits in a rolling groove that has something of the Velvet Underground in the swooping electric guitar part.  There is variety on this record as well as coherence, in the instrumentation as in the arrangements.  The following track The Taste I remember, She Became a Ghost, is woven through with fast picking and tells a story effectively and evocatively.  It is haunting, ethereal and worn with a weary strength.  The guitar playing is almost Spanish classical style, particularly in the interludes.  He makes use of repetition to effectively show the tide of passing time.   Even more Spanish is the virtuosic opening lick to Lake Ontario, which is a short flourish before the cyclical picking comes in.  Again, there is an anecdotal narrative to it which is poetic and evocative.  Characters are introduced alongside the places they live.  Glacial vocals echo between verses.  The production is reverb-heavy and deep.  It sounds like it was recorded in an empty building.  The closing track Sisters ends on a slightly different note.  There is a warmth in the recording that offsets the wistfulness.  Like the bittersweet end to an eventful journey.  

A few questions:

When did you first pick up the guitar?

Growing up in a small town, surrounded by nothing but Soviet block houses, derelict playgrounds and a seemingly endless  fields of peat, there were really not that many options. Either you take to kicking around a ball  or you take to kicking around other kids, most seemed to prefer the latter. Luckily my sisters, being ten years older than me,  saw the last of MTV and VH1 . By the time I got there the funeral procession was over  and the burial was about to end - the music industry, wearing shorts, was filming the open grave for a new reality TV show. I was the social experiment, the kid brother, the one who had to wear  "Guns n' Roses" T-shirts and grow his hair long - during a time of shaved heads and garbage disco music. In the late nineties my father got offered a job, in Moscow, as a warehouse keeper. A few times a year he'd  return with a trunk full of  shovels, power drills, hammers, saws  and other tools he had managed to steal from the warehouse. Everything  spray painted red to fool the Russian customs into believing they were used. There had been a snowstorm the night before my dad arrived. An endless carpet of pure white. I was leaning over the sill, looking out from the kitchen window. My eyes were watery from the cold, but my excitement got the best of me. He parked his Lada and from the backseat he would lift out a large cardboard box, with the words "Dolby Surround" printed on its side. Little did I know that the content of that very box would affect my day to day existence to an almost unhealthy degree. During the following  years our collection of pirated cassette tapes and compact discs grew with  albums from Nirvana, Offspring, Dire Straits, Korn, Kino etc. Anything the shopkeeper in Moscow could copy on a CD-R and send to my sisters. Perhaps it was the sub-woofer that ignited my obsession to become a drummer, perhaps not, but by the time I turned ten I had begun taking lessons in the  local music school. My teacher was a middle aged marching band percussionist with a serious boozing problem. The four years under his tyranny taught me more about the side effects of binge drinking rather than drums. "For Christ sake boy, you keep missing the  f*ing beat train!" : something I'll remember for the rest of my life. I called it quits after failing to perform  to a handful of  Sunday afternoon pensioners, my mother and my teacher,  in the city hall. Years  later, on my way to university, I walked past a plate glass window of a small music shop. The sign said : "20% off all instruments!!!" in big bright letters. With the little  I had saved,  working night shifts as a receptionist in a hotel,  and with the help of my parents, I scraped together enough to buy a blue XS plywood guitar. I composed my first song three days later. A two chord, short lived disaster. Last time I saw the guitar, hung by its neck, behind a plate glass window of a pawn shop - once more, discounted.

What have you been doing up until now? Do you have any other interests beyond music?

I've worked as a dishwasher, pastry chef, phone agent, engineer, as an extra in low budget German TV-movies. In other words, you name it - I've done it. Right now I'm sitting in a cafeteria a few blocks down the street from my house. I've been coming here for years to read and write. The bohemian life.... you know.  These days the place is full of prams and crying toddlers. One of them is drooling on my pants sleeve, as we speak. I find this drone of life calming.

How did you find recording the album?

Although the process started off in a proper studio, under the  guidance of a fantastic sound engineer, Martin Fiedler, I decided to continue by myself in the comfort of my bedroom - for the larger part. I suppose I felt intimidated by the expensive Neumann's and the professional approach, deeming myself unworthy. In the long run, the positives outweighed the negatives and I learned how to use the equipment I had bought or borrowed from my friends ( mainly from my good buddy and band member Jim Good), during the years I've lived in Berlin. I guess the hardest part was recording the drums.  I used an old Russian Oktava that Jim brought back from Estonia a few summers ago - the only one that seemed to yield results. Jim is a subtle player , not a 4/4 rock drummer, and getting the sound I was looking for wasn't as easy as I expected. It all worked out thanks to Jim's infinite patience. Along the way Michael Brinkworth came to my aid with his beautiful 70's Fender (I'm sorry if it wasn't a Fender, Michael) and his ideas. Always a few hours late and out of breath - always passionate. He's the most prolific  songwriter I  know and his input was more than welcomed. Some of my guitar tracks and vocal takes were done in a rehearsal room that used to belong to  Nina Hagen (something the locals seemed to take a lot of pride in). A damp basement full of old carpets and stale air. I spent a few weeks locked behind that massive metal door singing the same lines, over and over again. It was the following Autumn when I met Mauno Meesit from Grainy Records.  He was in the midst of recording his own album and was in need of a classical guitar. Our  mutual friend, who knew I had one,  got him to come to one of my shows. We barely spoke after the gig but in a couple of days I received an E-mail and from there on we got to speaking. Turned out he liked the show and was enthusiastic about the album I had been recording.  Soon enough he proposed me to join his label and I accepted without hesitation. I saw how serious he was about his own music and my mind was made up even before he asked. I'm not the easiest person to work with but Mauno's, Buddha like, calmness bridged our way. The result is on my table, boxes full of it. Who could have imagined...

What was the inspiration for the songs? I consider "I used to be clean"  a concept album. A retroperspective glimpse into my  childhood and how it was to grow up in the East during a time of despair and poverty as well as unity and love. I'm sure these themes will carry on into the future of my lyrics. Inspiration is an entity. Some sort of an astral being that enters and exits one's body whenever and wherever. During these times I'm nothing but a medium in a state of unconscious effortlessness. Many of my songs are not born out of inspiration. These are the ones I'm never fully satisfied with, the conscious ones, the ones I labor over. The beauty of these songs lies in their ability to grow and change as I do. I'm learning how to work without inspiration yet remain open to it - it's not that easy.

How do you go about writing?

My day kick-starts in the afternoon after a few cups of coffee. I try to write something in my diary every day. Sometimes it's a poem or a short story, but mostly it surmounts to nothing more but  everyday uneventfulness. It takes me weeks, months,  at times even years, to finish a song.

Lately I feel as If I'm in  dire need of a break. Someplace quiet, outside this metropolitan cesspool. Someplace small where people go to sleep when the sun sets. Someplace where people talk about ordinary things, sit by a card table, eat canned sausages and drink clear spirits. Any place  considered "culturally inactive" according to metropolitan standards.

Where can we hear it? www.bandcamp.com/viktorsjoy  or www.grainyrecords.com

Where can we hear you play?

The album release show, in Berlin,  will take place in Neue Nachbarn on the 5th of April. https://www.facebook.com/events/1879058472306213/1879252808953446/?notif_t=like&notif_id=1490094469947888

What are your plans for the future?

Organize a couple of shows in Estonia and focus on writing and recording new tracks.

[mosmindmanifested]

Flow; Wu wei; Action Through Inaction

"The softest in the world Surpasses the hardest in the world. What has no substance Can penetrate what has no opening. Thereby I know the value of non-action. The value of teaching without words And accomplishing without action Is understood by few in the world." - Tao te ching 43 Human beings live in a reality appearing to be dual. Our bodies split at the meridian of our spine, creating dual appendicies. Night follows day. Hot and cold measure one another. High and low define one another. Good and evil. Fast and slow. The list of dual opposites continue. The way we conceptualize status is similar. We can either succeed or fail at any specific endeavour. Depending on metrics such as ones achievements, ability to allocate wealth, and life experiences, we can see them as either HIGHER or LOWER social status. And depending on what we have done in or have failed to do in our lives, we may unconsciously place ourselves in these categories. Our brain is split into two hemispheres, which until recently, were known to house differing functions; right brain creativity and left brain logic. Our conceptual minds seem to function in this dualistic paradigm as well. As humans we live as both subjects and objects. As objects we exist organically. We have physical bodies that interact with a physical world. We eat. We fuck. We play sports. We dance. We create. These bodies bind the limits of our existence; they will stop functioning one day, and thus place a limit to our experience. As subjects we exist internally. Our hopes and dreams are fueled by a rich imagination. Our thoughts and feelings completely unique to ourselves. This is the house of creativity, where all new ideas are born and new horizions manifested. Enter flow state. These two functioning modes, object and subject, can either function harmoniously or independantly. When we are sufficently challenged and engaged in a task that we enjoy, we become completely immersed. Time seems to move either a lot slower or faster. We forget ourselves. Our inner and outer worlds merge, and this brings the best out of us. Think of a musician in the zone; a freestyle rapper spitting bars; a salsa dancing couple never missing a beat; a craftsman spending hours in his tool shed; two lovers on a first date, pouring out their dreams of the future, seamlessly conversing for hour on end. This is flow. These experinces bring out our best work and, in turn, allow for us to reach optimal states of happiness. These dualities are a part of a unity. We can see night and day as two seperate phenomena, or one continous rotation of the earth. Success and failure are a coexisting unit, guiding our actions towards our vision, and directing the flow of our energies. The left and right sides of our bodies come together to become one functioning unit. Two lovers become one in the act of selfless love. So how do we initiate flow. As I began writing this draft, I had a very strong idea of what I wanted to convey to the reader. I knew the point I was trying to get across and was determined to have the reader understand me. With this frame of mind I began writing. Immediate writers block. I struggled to find the perfect opening quote, I ended up deleting, rewriting, and reogranizing this draft several times before getting to this point. I was trying too hard. My determination brought about a forceful effort that severed the link to my creative imagination. As long as I was trying to get it right, the forceful persistence would come across in my uninspiring writing. Enter Wu Wei. Wu Wei, literally meaning non-doing, refers to a state of effortless action. Being unattached to the results of a specific action, the actor is able to fully surrender to the the action itself, is therefore able to produce a resuly that is not forced or tainted by desire. Think of a time you've watched a terrible actor in a movie. Their melodramatic style of forced emotion was not believable for a moment. As a viewer you were unable to suspend disbelief and the magic was ruined. You saw them as an actor trying to create an effect as opposed to Rocky the hero. Similarly, anytime you try too hard for a specific result in any creative endeavour, you begin to work against yourself. Your critical lizard brain flares up and begins to reinforce all your anxities and fears regarding your work. You are taken out of the moment, and your work is subpar at best. By being unattached to the result of a given action, you may begin to reap the rewards. The artist that begins with a smash hit in mind creates a generic sounding single. The filmmaker with an obvious moral to his story ends up appearing the preacher and loses the trust of his audience. The sexually excited teen cannot hide his intentions and ends up creeping out his date. The law of wu wei is a surrender to the action initself. To do it for the love of doing it, free from the results of the action. The dancer dances not to appear cool, but to get lost in the sounds, to let the beat carry them wherver it may; unable to anticipate their next move, but preforming it flawlessly nonetheless. The freestyle rapper raps not to convey a message, but to explore the realm of lyrical possibility. To allow the words to speak themselves, continuously suprising himself with every bar he spits. Wu wei is jazz. Wu wei is the runners high. Wu wei is the frogetting of self and the home of spontenaity. The next time you are gunning after a desired result and are hitting a wall, let go of the desire. Take some time off and return to the task when the yearning has faded. You might just suprise yourself. Namaste

[dianaroseofsharon]

brume et paraffine

It will come from inside first. We’re not isolated entities. I am not alone, I never was. We’re all part of something bigger. All an essential piece of the puzzle of humanity. I needed to find my place, within myself, so I closed my eyes so my heart could start to see.

I started to wear gratitude like a cloak and it’s been feeding every corner of my life. I began to realize that my ideas of what security was we’re false. My concept of freedom have been pure phantom experiences. I started to find my sense of self, I was no longer breaking parts of my spirit.

I did it before, did pack bags and left for days, weeks, months, but this time was different. I look at my past and I understand now how every little glitch of time made me who I am. I’m grateful for the effortless energy that I carry within myself. So even though I felt death so close to me, to my thoughts, it admits me now to feel alive in such a beautiful way.

My thoughts are like clouds, light. My love is like a river, ever flowing. I created a place within myself that’s so precious. A beauty that’s now inked deep down in my essence. I eradicated fears from my life to replace it with goodness. Lies we’re washed away by an honest transparency. Pity ousted by a delightful gratitude. Darkness by a blinding light. This light, this pureness, this sensibility is unwavering. It’s in me, and I’m in it. I’m in complete awe watching every details that surrounds me. I feel things.

I never imagined anything quite like this. I want to write about things. About closed doors, about the smooth beauty of a chest rising to catch a breath. About the sincere charm of a tender touch. About him, about her, about you, about unity. Love and it’s expectations.

I want to write about sadness also. Sadness can be approached by a delicate melancholy that can be so touching. Like fog that surrounds your mind. You see, I thought I needed to be held by people. What holds me now is different. It’s clouds passing right in front of my eyes. It’s the movement of trees dancing in harmony with the wind. It’s the colors of flowers. It’s the motion of an agitated sea. It’s the feeling of bare feet on the grass. It’s nature in all it’s forms. It’s all the forms that nature takes in my life.

My strength has no wings, it has no claws. My strength build a little bit of humanity within me. She’s not loyal. It’s for myself, and for others. My strength is strength cause it understood the beauty of mountains. She ate earth, swallowed cold winds I needed to go through. Suffered in silence. She’s always there, even when I think she forgot about me. My strength only grows, and never falls. It was built by darkness but transformed into light.

I stayed there, calmly, in a corner. I didn’t think, I didn’t believe. I didn’t do anything else than writing poems and running in the woods. Forgot where I belong. I asked my strength to stay wise. Asked my rage to go play somewhere else, to not show herself. I needed softness that I didn’t have and that I was dying to get. Forgot I always needed to leave, that I needed to bring together pieces of myself that I would’ve preferred to put aside, or give to someone else. I stayed there. It didn’t last long. I drowned myself under water ten times, quietly, with disregard. I got used to your absence. It was like being punched by a crowd. Like a scream breaking a peaceful silence. I watched the sky bleed on a forest. I thought the best of myself was destroyed, and when I think about it, it’s the same old story, I stayed there. Thinking I didn’t have to choose, thinking I didn’t have to think, cause I thought that thinking resulted in suffering. The weight of things we’re never going to have, it’s stupid. Time is not an old tissue, I don’t want to throw it, I don’t want to tear it appart, like a sky that’s bleeding. You and I, we saw time from a different place. I stayed there, asking myself if I had to be worried about the lines that we’re cracking in me, asking myself if my strength was still there. I stayed there fighting. Like others before me. Some didn’t write a poem. Not a school poem, not an anthology poem but a poem that hurts once you understood it. Even when you’ve finished it . A poem that burns. Sometime I would like to get out of my body, out of my existence, so that my blood cells can recharge. I stayed there, on a cliff damaged by the mist, but I didn’t fall off of it.

My life, I learned you by heart. Years went by fast and brutally. I hold inside of me wrongly moved gestures. I tried, without success, to stop my heart from pumping so fast as if another heart was growing inside of it. Tried to soften the fingerprints of unfold hand drowned by a sudden desire that left my skin burnt. My life, I don’t expect from you more than what I am giving you, what you are giving me. My life, you prepared a world for me, a passionate one. A world I sewed in the inside of all of my jacket to keep close to my heart. A world I wasn’t expecting. 

(...)

[jayhawksofficial]

Back Roads And Abandoned Motels essay (by Wesley Stace)

The Jayhawks – Back Roads And Abandoned Motels

by Wesley Stace (2018)

Attempts to pigeonhole The Jayhawks have long been fruitless, as any longtime fan or fellow musician knows. The band habitually transcends any label - Americana, Roots Rock, or Alt-Country: you name it - with great songs, musical adventure and sheer derring-do.

Back Roads and Abandoned Motels, the latest addition to the band's varied catalog, is both a case in point and the exception that proves the rule. The record serves only to emphasize the band's pedigree, when by rights it might have been something of a mongrel, given that it largely consists of songs written with (and for) other artists, here in versions recorded for the record by the band. Both title and backstory belie the canny conceptual unity of a record that Jayhawks fans, both more recent converts and those with longer memories, will love. You wouldn’t want to call it Hollywood Town Hall Part Two, but then again... perhaps you would.

There are presumably some listeners who wanted Los Lobos to keep making Will The Wolf Survive? (or, heaven knows, La Bamba) over and over again, for the rest of their careers. Perhaps there were even fans who thought the Beatles let themselves down with the experimental Peppers shit and shouldn’t have ventured beyond the day trippiness of Day Tripper. The Jayhawks’ more outre explorations have met with commercial and critical success - last year’s excellent Paging Mr Proust was proof that there was no intention to go gently into that good night - but there still doubtless remains the occasional Jayhawks fan who wishes they’d stop being clever and make a primarily acoustic country-rock classic again. It’s a rather tedious nostalgia, given the joy the Jayhawks always bring, not to mention the fact that the band has existed in its current line-up for 24 years since they originally parted ways with Mark Olson. The point being: the Jayhawks did those things already back then; they don’t need to keep doing them because we liked it a lot: that’s not how artists work.

But the amazing news about the new album is the unlikeliest news of all: that’s exactly what they’ve done, and in the strangest of ways. A saner man, or even a regular rock critic, might go so far as to call Back Roads and Abandoned Motels “a return to the more acoustic sound of Rainy Day Music,” but the fact is, whatever the reason, the record showcases the band we’ve always loved.

It’s all here: those sweet sweet harmonies, the devil-may-care roots rock, the effortless melodies you can’t believe you haven’t heard before (if you’re a listener) or were too lazy to write yourself (if you’re a songwriter), and those sinewy, beautiful constructed solos that make Gary Louris one of the most underrated guitarists in rock (and roll), and the Jayhawks one of the archetypal American bands. Since Paging Mr Proust, the band has in fact been staking its claim as the greatest backing band in the world, working with the likes of Sir Ray Davies, and the less-knighted but critically revered Wesley Stace AKA John Wesley Harding (and it would be a conflict of interest if I didn’t mention that I were he.) It’s always good to try on someone else’s clothes, see what fits. And that’s what’s happening on this record too.

Far from being, in terms of The Who, a record of odds ’n’ sods, the disparate origins of the songs on display have brought the band, road-tested and barely-rested, closer than ever. They sound totally relaxed and utterly confident in their ability to deliver the goods. They’ve never sounded better, and we’ve never heard a fairer division of labor among the members.

Of the songs on the new record, only two (the last two, Carry You To Safety and Leaving Detroit) were newly written. Others were written with, and for, other artists, bespoke and besung. Gary Louris is a great songwriter whatever the context, and here we find him confident enough to stand back, to share the lead vocals around his fellow singing members, just as those songs were always meant to be sung by others. (Only Marc Perlman, the secret weapon on bass, doesn’t get his own song. Next time, I hope.) All members are of equal value and status, like a band, but, like The Band, you don’t get to be this good without that being true. Here, in the words of Everybody Knows, they’re "stepping out" for the first time.

The harmonies have always been a wonder, an essential part of the Jayhawks experience, but here we get to appreciate their component parts individually. Thus it is that the album boldly goes where no Jayhawks album has gone before, kicking off with keyboard player Karen Grotberg’s first lead vocal. Come Cryin’ To Me was originally written for the Dixie Chicks, their first collaboration with Gary (though it only appeared on Natalie Maines’ solo album Mother), but it sounds like it was written specifically for Karen to sing on this particular record, and it’s a joy, as is her later lead vocal, El Dorado, and her harmonies throughout.

But if it’s Mr Louris you’ve come to hear - and it may well be! - he’s to the fore throughout and up next with another Dixie Chicks associated song that first appeared on their Taking The Long Way album in 2006, since often heard at Louris solo concerts. It’s a statement-of-purpose song, yet, given its co-written origins, the listener can’t necessarily be sure (and I’m too polite to ask) whose statement-of-purpose it actually is. Who’s stepping out? The Dixie Chicks or Mr Louris? Part of the joy of Back Roads and Abandoned Motels is the middle-place that these songs occupy, the universality of their lyrics - they’re kinda covers, they’re kinda not - which frees the band up to play them without self-consciousness, the reason that experimentation can be put to one side. There are some songs to deliver, and many of them have been previously delivered, so best just to allow them to sound as great as a great band possibly can. Which is pretty great. It’s that that makes the record such a familiar and beautiful Jayhawks experience, like those early records, yet played by the band as it is now, with all its know how and experience.

Tim O’Reagan (more commonly known as ‘the drummer’) has sung three or four memorable lead vocals on Jayhawks records previously, songs often played live (Tampa to Tulsa, for example, and Bottomless Cup) but his singing on the stellar Jakob Dylan co-write, Gonna Be A Darkness, makes the song an instant Jayhawks classic, better even than its original version (though it’s not a competition, obviously) which was recorded for the HBO series True Blood. I shan’t list all the songs, though there are co-writes with Carrie Rodriguez, Emerson Hart (from Tonic), Ari Hest, Kristen Hall and The Wild Feathers. None with me, however. Interesting.

In 2018, 34 years after they formed, and 24 years in their current line-up, The Jayhawks are still coming up with new ways to give us everything beautiful. Back Roads And Abandoned Motels is an unexpected and vital corner piece in their puzzle, and it fits together perfectly. May their songs always be sung.

[adrienelarcombe-blog]

What Makes Me Happy.

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