#i love the series ofc i wouldn't have made it this far

[kiriona-apologist]

hi! i’ve been seeing you blog about the baru series for a while and i was wondering if you could like quickly explain what it’s about/pitch it to someone who loves tlt like you do?

so the baru cormorant series (known also as the masquerade series) is the as yet unfinished story of baru cormorant, an accountant turned political spy/agent as she navigates an empire set on conquering the world. it's a very raw and very dark and very visceral book about a horrible person doing horrible things for the people she loves and her home. like seriously check the trigger warnings on this because i feel it's way darker in a much more overt way than the locked tomb is, with some of the most important ones being extreme, systemic and internalized homophobia, racism, eugenics, and racially motivated biological warfare later on.

baru herself is very scrunkly. just absolute scrunkle. she's sorta a cross between ianthe (in that she's horrible and pretty much everyone hates her) and harrow (in that she's very smart, works very hard, and most things go very poorly for her and traumatize her) but is also so uniquely herself that i can't really describe her character very well.

this book is less "queer drama" like tlt is sometimes advertised, very much a close look at how the mechanisms of an empire can absolutely destroy a person from the inside out.

i know you said quick, but i'm a long winded person lol. i'd say that if you can stomach events of the first book, give it a shot because it's been a life changing read for me personally. but it's a lot darker, i personally love the locked tomb for how fucked up it can be most times and baru, in my opinion, really twists the dial up for fucked upedness.

[hwangism143]

𓆩♡𓆪 how skz would propose to you. 𓆩♡𓆪

BANG CHAN

he would invite you over (or sneak, i should say) to the studio for a date cuz you both do this all the time

sometimes, he plays you snippets of songs he's working on, other times, you're just talking the night away while getting some work done

anyways, today he's playing you one of his songs

you're just completely immersed in the music and when it ends the lingering feeling of wanting more is left behind

how could it not? the song was about spending an eternity with you

you're about to turn around and profess your love for chan for the millionth time when you see him

he's on one knee and lets out a choked, "i meant everything in that song. i didn't know what love was before i met you, but you have shown me love and so much more. marry me?"

ofc you say yes (i mean, i would) and just end up falling asleep on his couch

LEE MINHO

you guys go to your favorite cat cafe, and bring the kids (cats?) along with you too

suddenly, soonie comes along with a note stuck to her back - "will you be our parent? i mean, for real?"

you look at minho who's playing with the cats on the other side of the room, confused, but he doesn't see you

(actually, he's blushing like crazy and is too scared to make eye contact lmao)

that is until you walk over to him and give him a nudge

he's beaming at you (this boy istg) and gets down on one knee

"we can't let our kids be a part of a dysfunctional family. they another parent, and they love having you around. actually, no, they love you. and they wanna grow old with you. so. will you, uhm, marry me? their father?"

(pls im giggling at this myself)

SEO CHANGBIN

you guys are out on a date at a fancy restaurant and changbin's acting extra giggly

now mind you, this is seo changbin. extra giggly is far more than what you would imagine

you're finally done eating and slump against your chair when the server brings another plate of food

you look at changbin with a "bro. i'm full." but the bro in question is just looking at you.

you look down at the tray placed in front of you.

"will you marry me?" it says with a ring in the middle?

"be my permanent gym partner?" asks changbin hopefully

and you say yes (bcuz who in their right mind wouldn't ???)

HWANG HYUNJIN

we all know how extra this man is, so when he insists that you two go to the bookshop where you first met, you don't protest

you're scanning the bookshelf, reminiscing about how you both bonded over monet and jane austen at this very shop

then you here a little gasp in front of you

naturally, your first instinct is to turn around and check on hyunjin

and he is down on one knee, a sobbing mess (but still cute, y'know)

"you have, and always will be my muse," he says, "so will you make me the happiest man alive and do me the honor of being your husband?"

he slides the ring onto your finger and pulls you into a hug and you're both crying and laughing and

(i'm sorry this is so cute, goodbye)

HAN JISUNG

you had made up your mind - is jisung wasn't going to propose to you, you would propose to him

(get it, queen or king or gender non-identifying reader!)

and so you're on your rooftop building when he goes "i need to tell you something" and funnily enough, so do you

(i wonder what that's about... hehehe)

after a series of 'you first', 'no you'. jisung admits defeat and slides you over the ring box

wordlessly, you slide over your box

the two of you just start laughing because, idiots in love

and then you squish jisung and start peppering him with kisses

LEE FELIX

it's a beach date!

absolutely perfect, all complete with bokkie's brownies

but felix is acting kinda nervous.

(and by nervous i mean his face is beet red and he's stuttering like crazy)

(what can you say, my boy is in love)

you're eating the last brownie when he says "close you eyes"

you do and you hear some shuffling.

you open your eyes to a sniffling felix propped up on one knee. "can I be your personal brownie chef for the rest of forever?"

who can say no to an offer like that?

KIM SEUNGMIN

you both were coming home from one of your numerous dates

it was the perfect night to be walking outside, but seungmin seemed really shifty

he was NOT enjoying himself

"are you cheating on me?" you ask jokingly

"far from it actually," he retorts, suddenly letting go of your hand.

you turn to find him in the middle of the street with a ring in his hand

"marry me. will you? please? i've had this ring with me for months and i didn't know when to propose but now i know, well like i always knew-"

you promptly shut him up with a kiss and a breathless yes

YANG JEONGIN

nothing was going according to plan for innie. you spent too much time picking an ice cream flavor and he knew that he was spending too much time at this clothing store

but they just got a new collection

and so he waits until you both are done so that he can take you to that really drmamtic fountain in front of the mall and propose to you

but watching you pick out your clothes, he realizes he wants to do this for the rest of forever

so this man promptly plops down on one knee in the middle of a department store and screams, "WILL YOU MARRY ME AND BE MY SHOPPING BUDDY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE? WE CAN BE EACH OTHERS PROBLEMS"

you just look at him confused holding up a t-shirt, "UH OKAY I'LL MARRY YOU AND WE CAN BE EACH OTHERS PROBLEMS"

you both are so loud that you nearly get kicked

(later he makes you buy him ice cream because he's a baby who's done a good job and deserves a reward)

[agendabymooner]

MASTERLIST by agendabymooner

note: what i had done so far... i think?

legends/genre:

a = angst g = general fic hc = hurt/comfort h = humour

s = smut (minors, dni) mc = mature content (minors, dni) f = fluff

ALSO CHECK OUT:

MOONY'S CHARACTER DIRECTORY

MOONY'S FILIPINO CHARACTERS DIRECTORY

alex albon (aa23)

keeper, smau: polly berkshire has obscure interactions with her thirsty boyfriend and it's safe to say that they love each other.

fernando alonso (fa14)

the breakup and makeup series

time to rock and roll, fic: the first time beatrice staedtlander and fernando alonso had broken up. (hc)

heaven, smau: back in 2000s, fernando alonso and beatrice anastasia 'trish' staedtlander were every racing and wrestling fans' couple. years after, trish alonso became a mother and a wife... and the grid's crush of the season. fernando was certainly not happy so what's a better way to remind everyone that he was hers? (f, g, h)

from the ground up, smau: tino and tiago alonso were the twins that trish had given birth to at the age of 40, and everyone understood now why she didn't make it to the 2024 canadian gp. (f)

bonnie and the fame

maneater, smau: bonnie catherine sutton was carlos sainz's ex-girlfriend who returned to the f1 scene as a different woman. turns out, she's fernando alonso's fiancée (f)

ego, smau: never underestimate a woman's self-esteem, it might end up wounding you more than it would her.

jenson button (jb22)

the mr. darcy type, smau: much like the popular love interest, jenson should have known better than to say things that wouldn't impress a woman he grew interested in. OR ada abbott made sure that he worked hard for her time and attention. (f)

affection, blurb: in which, jenson learned that he should just say it without being a little too drunk.

pierre gasly (pg10)

newsflash, smau: ensley soleil doesn’t like playboys. too bad, pierre gasly’s down bad for her (attention and love). (f, g, h)

lowkey, smau: fans thought that pierre moved on from ensley four months after publicly declaring his (love?) for her. funnily enough... (f, g, h)

indigo, chatfic + smau: there's really no reason for pierre gasly to be jealous over some man that ensley wrote 'high school in jakarta' about. not when she wrote one or more songs about the frenchman. (f)

high school in jakarta, fic: meeting ensley’s close friends would also mean that he’d have to meet her high school sweetheart, who he believed he couldn’t compete against until ensley ensured that his two-day attendance wouldn’t be spoiled by some guy who couldn’t let go of some memories she couldn’t even remember. 

dancing with the devil, smau: ensley soleil doesn't care about what people are saying about her relationship with pierre especially now that she's married to him. (f)

do i make you nervous, blurb: lesson learned: just date her first rather than being friendly in the bed.

lewis hamilton (lh44)

stevie and lewis (hearth sister!ofc)

thick and thin, smau + fic: lewis should know better than underestimating her and her capabilities to yearn for him for years. (hc)

where the bad girls are (kpop idol!ofc)

lifted, smau: lewis is married to a kpop idol who happened to be one of the girls to shape the image of female groups in the korean pop community.

melody series (x ofc)

summary: with her sharp eyes focused on her audience, a burlesque performer who went under the name of melody returned to rythme romantique, an entertainment lounge which exclusively caters to the wealthiest people of monaco — or in this case, to the people with a status that are recognized by all. her three exclusive performances were meant to be a closure for her connections in the principality. still, a certain formula one driver saw it as an opportunity to reconnect with his former flame after two years of her absence. felicity vos learned that this was a rich man’s world and that he could do whatever he wanted, but she also realized that the agreement they settled on years ago was corrupted the moment he expressed his love for her. 

one, million dollar man: monaco was a world of glitz and glamour that she left two years ago. returning to the principality clearly was a huge mistake as she found herself talking to the man who swore to nothing but his love for her.

two, this is what makes us girls: "decorum isn't something you can buy with money or fame." or what did lewis really want from her and why did he show up on the second night of her performance?

charles leclerc (cl16)

of long lines and names, fic: five kids with (almost) five names under six years. OR the three pregnancies that charles had witnessed told him how motherhood and memories could come in two sets of twins and a boy that looked so much like him. (f)

the leclerc daycare, fic: before his last set of twins were born, charles had to watch his boys on his own (not exactly by himself when he's got esteban and pierre acting as his right hand men). (f)

lando norris (ln4)

london boy, smau: nicola 'cola' alessandro moved to britain and what's a better way to introduce yourself to england than taking a trip around with a certain mclaren driver? (f, g, h)

i think he knows, smau: grazia nichols published her debut novel based off formula one, and a fan could have sworn that the the book bf - nolan langford - was based off of lando's character as a driver altogether. (f, g, h)

honey, honey smau series (x ofc)

summary: hannah-sue ‘honey’ lewis is so much like her sideman brother with the exception of the fact that she didn’t watch formula one as much as she used to back when she had her crush on mercedes driver michael schumacher in 2010.

introduction

one, who tf is lando norris: she knows who she idolizes (and have a crush on; mason mount), she knows that she’s looking forward to getting the hell out of the university after two years of her masters degree program, and she knows that she doesn’t care about the formula one teams that aren't mercedes amg - she also knows she cares about mick schumacher.

esteban ocon (eo31)

the royal wildcard, smau: the british media's good at getting the juiciest details of gossip from the palace, but much to their dismay, princess albertine spencer followed the footsteps of her brother harry and had done an amazing job at hiding her marriage with a certain alpine driver for three months. (f, g, h)

the royal resemblance, smau: albertine ocon lived to give her estranged family something to talk about because of her physical appearance that could be confused with her mother's ghost. too bad, ditty ocon was born into the world with the same heart attack-inducing features.

sergio perez (sp11)

she's beauty, she's grace, smau: in which carmella ayala perez, the miss universe 2018 winner, tied the knot with checo after their five years of relationship and the birth of their second child.

oscar piastri (op81)

jollibee, madrid and all that romantic fiasco, smau: paloma san pedro is carlos sainz's cousin-in-law who also introduced oscar to his newly found filipino fast food chain addiction. safe to say that he bought a ticket last minute just so he can obsess over her, too.

kimi raikkonen (kr7)

stop the world i wanna get off with you, smau: vera 'coppa' coppola-raikkonen is the only one who can make the iceman talk a lot. she's also the only one who can make the chatty versions of him as their three older children (romania, rooney and johann-lauri) make their presence known to the racing community. (f, g, h)

daniel ricciardo (dr3)

rush series (x måneskin member!ofc)

read your diary, smau: it's 2021 and everyone thinks that lester and daniel are dating. lesson learned: never underestimate a fan's investigation skills. (g)

mamma mia, smau: an interview with jimmy fallon gives a brief idea of how lester and daniel came to be. (g)

mamma mia (again), smau: a youtube playlist was created to compile clips of danny talking way too much about his beloved girlfriend (f)

gossip, smau: everyone thinks lester's only here to be a formula one girlfriend with a bad reputation. it's not her fault she's confident. (mc, hc, h)

kool kids, smau: lester and daniel are going to new york to see a musical... while babysitting their "kid" (feat. lando norris) (g, h)

timezone, fic: lester wasn't normally like this, but she's more than willing to pay twice the price just to get to the next flight to where he wanted her: his arms, her home. (hc)

if not for you, smau: messages exchanged between lester and others as she takes care of the wolff children and an ex with the poorest decisions to have existed. (feat. lando norris, max verstappen, charles leclerc and characters from a story) (f, g, h)

baby said, smau: many tweets are posted that they don't often mean. their fans thought that his marriage proposal was one of them. (f, g, h)

supermodel, smau: how not to cry when you're talking about the man who'd give you the wedding that you dreamed of? (f, g, h)

rush series: wedding special

london bridge, smau: the alessandro-ricciardo wedding week is nothing of a peaceful week, and the monday only proved that thought right. (feat. f1 drivers) (f, h) - wedding special 1

fergalicious, smau: the grid singles need to touch some grass… or in lando’s case, go swimming. (feat. f1 drivers) (h) - wedding special 2

l'azienda di famiglia (e le donnole dell'isola), smau + fic: the alessandro family arrived and lando and george found themselves alone with two of the sisters. (feat. lando norris and george russell) (f, g) - wedding special 3

rush: mrs. ricciardo special

part of you, smau: mrs. lester ricciardo asks her followers what to get her husband for his 35th birthday. little did danny know, she’s already got one ready to surprise him (f, g)

when emma falls in love, smau: as her pregnancy progressed, lester ricciardo made sure that her sanity wouldn't go the other way as she posted a thread of journal entries talking about her pregnancy. (f, h)

slipping through my fingers, smau: beau ricciardo was his dad's carbon copy and his mom's little heartbreaker.

george russell (gr63)

his family and her lover, smau: eleanora 'nora' alessandro was more than happy for george's willingness to step up as her children's father regardless of how people poorly reacted on their relationship.

carlos sainz jr. (cs55)

ride home, smau: the ferrari driver accidentally outed himself as a married man, so mona magdalena sainz stepped in to say hi to his loyal fans. (f, g, h) (extra)

dear, smau: nobody loved each other more than magda and carlos sainz. OR a series of tweets in which magda and carlos never took each other seriously. (h)

mick schumacher (ms47)

she's everything... and he's just mick, smau: barbara 'barbie' blanco is the vettel family's foster child that gradually turned to kimi vettel's nanny and mick's crush? (f, g)

"besties", smau: everyone swore that mick and barbie are more than "babysitting pardners" (f)

who is kenough, smau: mick nearly took the piss from arthur leclerc after the posts that the monegasque had of barbie. too bad, mick was already hers before arthur could even try.

kenergy unfolded, fic: written version of who is kenough OR arthur leclerc was only scheming just so mick could do something about revealing his relationship with barbie.

lance stroll (ls18)

gotta be you, smau: bora mckinnon made her presence known in the paddock one year after lance broke up with her. now, they're all over the media because of his presence in her three birthday celebrations. the question still stands: are they getting back together?

yuki tsunoda (yt22)

line without a hook, smau: pia ellis misses her mystery bf that everyone thought to be her delusions. it turns out he's a formula one driver who definitely misses her too.

max verstappen (mv1)

to loathe and to love series (x ofc) (wip)

summary: there is a massive difference between the two words, but sylvie was more than willing to blur out the line if it means for her to spend some time with what others called her soulmate, max verstappen.

one, it’s time to go: sylvie attended a christmas party and couldn’t seem to do what she normally did on the paddock: avoid max (a)

two, closure: her memories haunted her so much that the red bull team principal thought of her to be incompetent, so it was only ideal of max to face the music too. (a)

three, goodnight n go: she wasn't sure what was more surprising: toto's presence on her graduation celebration or max's expensive graduation gifts. (f)

four, gorgeous: there's nothing more satisfying than seeing christian horner own up to his own mistake. that, and max's office-warming gift that he dropped off in sylvie's new on-site office.

five, cinema: sylvie was left feeling unsure when she and max did things that friends normally wouldn't do after she was broken up with by another man. (hc, mc, s)

six, satellite: max verstappen might've avoided talking about what they had done before all of this, but he was certain he wouldn't get out of his way just to ignore her as he swore not to her one way or another ever again. (a, hc)

seven, mean: sylvie found herself with a million and a half pounds and winning against the boys who brought her racing career to an early end.

eight, long story short: they're friends, they said. they bought a house and adopted a dog together, they definitely did.

nine, mastermind: max wasn't going to admit that he was jealous. he wasn't going to tell her that he sabotaged her blind date, either. not that she didn't know.

ten, comfort crowd: ah yes, the first monday of may. when everyone speculated that sylvie was merely using him and when she finally admitted to missing him for the past four years.

eleven, matilda: they don't know much, maybe, but they know how they'll raise their children away from the toxicity that they grew up in, all thanks to their fathers who did nothing but set expectations. (hc)

extra: matilda volume two, smau: set years after the tltl series in which sylvie and max have the most adorable set of kids called emilia, lila and maximilian. (f)

to loathe and to love: extras (x ofc)

lost in japan, smau: just two lost souls (with a tour guide) travelling to japan to make up for the childhood they missed. (f)

sebastian vettel (sv5)

crazy rich wife, smau: everyone (some twitter account) wonders where the recently retired german driver had gone to after the 2022 season. thank god for bel vettel, his fans now know that he’s still alive and is being spoiled and pampered by his wife. (f, g)

sweet spoiled husband (+ son), smau: mick schumacher is a grown man that both bel and seb treat like their own child. (f, g)

sweet spoiled schatzi, smau: bel and seb introduce the newest addition to their little family, and mick seems to love kimi vettel as much as a godfather loves his godchild. (f)

sweet little similarities, smau: bel and everyone could tell that kimi vettel was becoming more like his father, sebastian's, carbon copy as days went on. (f, g, h)

sebastian and sons (and soufflés), fic: day in the life of a retired sebastian vettel, featuring his kids kimi and barbie (and a nervous mick). (f)

toto wolff

colour me your colour series (x ofc) (wip)

summary: tilly marie nearly loses faith in her passion as she refuses to listen to everyone who told her to quit. everyone but one. and it’s the man she met years ago at a racing event she didn’t want to attend. who would have thought that her father’s partial ownership of three brands could take her to the zone of Mercedes and meet the love of her life?

one, what a beautiful sight that was: it was 2006 and she wanted nothing but to finish her research paper. their curiosity led them to a fifteen minute conversation that they would need to continue eight years after. (g)

two, tilly marie wants to go to hell: it's 2014 and she attended the british gp as a communication liaison for red bull. she didn't know that the man she met years ago was the team principal of mercedes, the rival team that her best friend drives for. lewis hamilton was more than amused to see her flustered, if you were to ask him. (g)

three, juliet's hit list: how can one give the heart eyes? daniel and lewis found tilly and toto flirting behind the cameras and behind the press audience and decided to mess with them. (g)

four, fast lane but not the race weekend kind: daniel and lewis might as well be attending a sleepover if they keep asking tilly about her relationship with toto. (g)

five, how to romance and cry in the same day: tilly goes on a date with toto for the first time and learns about her father's intention to pass ownership to her. (a, f, g)

six, love on camera: tilly and toto have a bad habit of flirting not so subtly.

seven, age is just a number and love is just a shame: tilly, while she believed her mother was right about the age difference between her and a certain mercedes team principal, is sure that she isn't falling fast and hard for him.

colour me your colour: extras (x ofc)

the paddock's resident it girl, smau: besides from owning three of mercedes' competitors in the track and being the mercedes team principal's wife, she's also known as the cool girl of the paddock for her taste in fashion and husband. (f)

the paddock's lucky husband, smau: with him being spoon-fed with love from his children and wife, toto really couldn't ask for more. OR tilly wolff liked to talk about fashion but her family? she might as well write a whole book about them. (f)

the paddock's resident menace and the dame, smau: tilly wolff was presented with a damehood and her daughter tia, the girl who tends to act on her mischievous way (all thanks to toto), celebrated her 7th birthday during the silverstone gp week. fans recall her best moments in sky sports and media overall.

f1 drivers (general)

9 to 5 series (x characters) (spin-off of cmyc and rush)

summary: lorelei hester ‘lester’ alessandro is a bassist first and daniel ricciardo's partner second. but it seems like another role is added to her resume as she begins her weekend in baku as toto wolff’s children’s babysitter.

the original five and the playlist

one, baby names and text messages: lester receives a text message from an unknown number, only for her to offer max verstappen's seat to her boyfriend.

two, max's lowered iq and linkedin profiles: max tries to defend himself as he experiences the morning wrath of lester.

three, the most toto coded children: toto gets ready for the baku weekend by styling his daughter's hair and thinking that he could just stay at home and talk business with his kids.

four, papa, soren and tia's promise hug: lester's more worried that she'll mess up her duties and upset the father of the two wolff cubs.

five, the little weapons of destruction distraction: the first half of her babysitting day consisted of reading too much, learning the word 'accident' and daniel ricciardo being a bad influence on toto wolff's shy son.

[perotovar]

hey sweeties!! kel and i put a list together of all the submissions we got for our event and split them into two masterlists of fics for you all to read and enjoy! this is my part of the list, so if you don't see yours give @beskarandblasters 's list >here< a look and see if that's where your fic/submission ended up!

we can't thank you enough for submitting and helping us give a voice to the smaller writers of the fandom ♥ oh, and for any multi chapter fics/series, we only read the first chapters to make it fair!

please make sure to read each fic's warnings carefully and happy reading! ♥

@iamskyereads - Compulsion (Ezra x ofc!Beatrice)

i can't even begin to describe how much i love this fic already. it's so smart and the worldbuilding?? incredible!! it feels like a sequel to the film, or like it could easily take place in the same universe. just brilliant. and ezra's voice is so clear here, i could hear him saying every word. and the oc, beatrice, is fascinating already, i can't wait to see where it goes!

@all-the-way-down-here - This Is Why We Fight (Dieter x nb!oc!Bell)

i love the start of this. both dieter and bell have excellent characterization and the conversations being had by every character feel so real and are so important. bell's group of friends all sound like friends i would have, and i would love to hang out with them. i love the direction this is going!

@linzels-blog - Delta Palms Tropical Resort (Frankie x f!reader)

ahh what a delightful little fic! it feels very much like an early 2000s rom com and i mean that in the best way! very cute and i love the vibes. everyone's characterization is great and i can't wait to sink my teeth into the rest of it!

@elvenmother - Context and Perspective (Marcus M x f!reader)

completely obsessed with this concept. i love a good enemies to lovers and this is such an awesome way to do it! i always see marcus m fics featuring someone without superpowers, but to have a character that's just as powerful as him? sign me up!

@kedsandtubesocks - In the Dead of the Night (Din x f!reader)

one of my absolute favorite din fics. the worldbuilding and din's creature form is incredible. i love a horror au that's flipped on its head. i also love the "creature is also the hunter" trope and this does that incredibly well. the atmosphere is off the charts.

@ghostofaboy - Rock Bottom (Frankie x original male characters)

god, i don't even know where to begin with this story. it's so raw and visceral and i can't say enough how much i enjoy it. i love reading something new and especially if it's coming from a male perspective. this is, unfortunately, something i could see frankie getting up to. frankie is such a deeply tragic character and this fic does that justice in a dark, but really intriguing way.

@ishabull - The Way We Were Drawn (Marcus P x f!reader)

ohh this is such a sweet fic. i love the imagery painted and the dynamic between marcus and reader is so sweet!

@secretelephanttattoo - Headshots (Marcus P x f!reader)

this fic is beyond sweet and so dreamy. the ideal scenario for anyone, in my humble opinion. who wouldn't want to take pictures of handsome fbi agents and then fall in love with said agent?

@lesbianhotch - you walk by and i fall to pieces (Frankie x f!reader)

THIS WAS THE CUTEST DAMN THING. i love me a nervous frankie (hello, have you read my fic lmao) and this was by far one of the cutest. i'm obsessed with reader's confidence and i just know those two are gonna be menaces once they're together. throw in some patsy cline and i am a goner. this is going on the reread list for sure.

@insomniamamma - Remain Nameless (Ezra & Cee w/ gn!reader)

ok, this one actually made me cry. i'm not sure if it's my own sleep-deprived ass that caused it but this is probably one of the most beautiful but sad fics i've read in a long time. i mean all of this in the best way because i don't normally get emotional from fics. prospect as a movie makes me emotional, though, so it doesn't surprise me that this did as well. it's such an incredible missing scene that i can, unfortunately, see absolutely happening. have some tissues nearby.

@sweetercalypso - Unlikely Friends (Joel x gn!reader)

this fic is one of my absolute favorite fics for joel. a big reason for that is i have a cat named tilly. and imagining joel reluctantly and grumpily cuddling with my tilly makes me emotional, ok??

@softstarlite - The Casualty of Love (Javi P x f!reader)

very cute! i love the awkward tension around not seeing someone for so long and there being a huge glow up maturity-wise from one of them! seeing someone in a new light is always a strange thing and i love the start to these two and their journey!

@julesonrecord - Shots (Jack x f!reader/oc)

probably one of the best post-movie fics i've ever read for jack. the way jack's trauma and therapy is handled is so fucking brilliant and tonic is one of the best fucking characters, god. eva is written so well and i just. i can't recommend this fic enough. if you like jack, hell even if you don't, give this fic a shot. i promise you'll come out of it liking it.

@coulsons-fullmetal-cellist - The Audition (Dieter x f!reader)

goddd this was so cute! dieter's insecurities don't come up very often and i absolutely love what a match he and reader make. she's so sweet with him and takes such good care of him. and he loves her so much and i love them ok

@max--phillips - A Little Lipstick Never Hurts (Max P x f!reader)

this is one of the best explorations into kink that i've ever read. it's so respectful and hot as fuck. completely obsessed with this take on max as a character and i can't get enough of the dynamic between him, reader, (and eventually dieter). it may not be everyone's cup of tea, but i highly encourage you to give it a try. max gets some well deserved lessons taught, and who doesn't love that?

@coastielaceispunk - The Gift of Lingerie (Max L x f!reader)

god, this was so fucking hot. i'm so here for a mentally healed maxwell in a healthy marriage with a fulfilling sex life lol the little bit of teasing on both their parts was beyond sexy and i loved how equal everything felt. ugh, will be rereading this one for sure.

@lotrefcp - Hidden Away (Javi P x f!reader)

i'm obsessed with a no nonsense reader with just as much attitude/sass as javi does lol i just kept reading going GET HIS ASS. an excellent start to a universe i'm excited to sink my teeth into!

@beefrobeefcal - On the Waterfront (Frankie x f!reader)

oh, this is dark. i love the vibes immediately. i've had a weird fascination with the mafia for most of my life and this has that air about it. a dark, chubby mob boss!frankie is right up my alley for sure. i love that he's still frankie tho. sensible, practical, but with an edge. mind the warnings.

@flightlessangelwings - La Estrella de Mi Vida (Javi G x f!reader)

ahhh so romantic and so tragic!! i swear, it's impossible to make javi unappealing but this fic is just so sweet and manages to make me love him even more (somehow). but i love the added drama and tension from outside forces!! i need to read the rest of it asap!

@littlemisspascal - Rockford & Roan (Tim x f!reader)

my god, i love this?? i'm not usually one for superpowers/soulmate au's but i'm in love with the practicality of this? it feels otherworldly without being too much and it's very grounded. i love the reader and the way tim is written is so believable. i love that we as a fandom have created such a visceral image of this character from only a minute's worth of footage!

@something-tofightfor & @the-blind-assassin-12 - Aphelion (Oberyn x Ellaria & f!reader)

goddd the imagery painted in this one. so heartbreaking. absolutely breathtaking. i'm a slut for vampires and i'm a slut for oberyn/ellaria. this is absolutely something i will be reading the rest of lol

@bluestar22x - The Rockford Files (Tim x f!reader)

ok this is insanely good. one of my favorite books of all time is "red dragon" by thomas harris and i felt like i was reading that again while i read this. the details of the case and the cadence of everything was top notch. obsessed with the psychic element thrown in there and i'm beyond excited to see where tim and psy end up next!

bonus:

@sweetenerobert - Fiction vs Reality (Tommy Miller x m!reader)

ohhhh my god. you give me a bisexual tattoo artist tommy miller with stretched ears and i'm supposed to be normal about it??? UNLIKELY. i am extremely tempted to edit this into reality ngl but my god. this was so fucking hot lmao

[geralts-yenn]

Found Family

Modern AU Melot (Tristan & Isolde) x OFC Nina x Mike (Hellraiser)

summary: Mikey needs some love after meeting his parents

warnings: 18+, minors DNI! Polyamory, non-monogamous bisexual relationship, a little angst, problematic family relationship, talk about dick piercings, double blowjob, Anal (m/m), p-i-v sex, all the fluff Mikey deserves

word count: 5,4k

A/N: This has been in my wip folder for an embarrassingly long time. This was meant to happen before A merry happy birthday (yes, it took me THIS long)

Now it's finally done and I hope you like it ❤

My masterlist

Series masterlist

I heard the music before I even entered the building. And as I recognized the sound of Mike's favorite punk rock band, I knew it was coming from our apartment. Frowning, I opened the door. I found him in the bedroom, sitting cross legged on the floor with his head bent over his sketchbook. His hand ran in angry strokes over the paper, and he didn't even notice me until I brushed my hand over his back. Mike jerked away from my touch and looked at me startled. His eyes were wide, but also puffy and red rimmed.

“Hey, my love, are you okay?” The question was ridiculous, I could see that Mike was farther away from okay than I had ever seen him before. But the music was so loud that he wouldn't have heard anyway. And it didn't matter at all because he turned away from me, pulling his hoodie deep into his eyes. 

My heart clenched at the sight of him like this. I got up from my crouched position to turn off the damn music. But as soon as there was the possibility to talk to my boyfriend without shouting, he sprang up and stormed out of the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

“Mike!” I shouted after him. Yet when I got to the door, he had already left the apartment. I froze in my movements, totally baffled by Mikey’s unusual behavior. When I heard the sound of his motorbike, I ran to the window and saw him, pacing off far too fast. By now, tears were running down my face. 

When I got back to the bedroom, my eyes fell onto Mike's sketchbook. Where there were usually funny doodles and portraits that Mike loved to draw, I found creepy monsters, dark figures and angry grimaces. What the hell had happened to the guy that always was so upbeat and unworried? He had always been the one who didn’t seem to be troubled by anything in the world. And it hurt that he didn’t want to share with me whatever got him to feel so bad.

I took my phone and called Mel. He had planned to spend the weekend with his family, but I really needed him now. 

“Hey, sunshine!” Mel greeted me and in the background I could hear the laughter of Isa and Tristan, which only made me sob more. Mel immediately sensed that something was off when I didn’t speak. 

“What’s wrong, Nina?” He sounded alarmed. I took a deep breath, trying to find some words.

“Mike! I think something happened to him. He was crying in the bedroom and when I tried to talk to him, he ran off. He’s on his bike and he’s not okay. And now I really don’t know what to do. I’m so scared.” I almost didn’t recognize my own shaky voice. 

Mel cursed. “Fuck! I should have known! Please wait for me, baby, I’m coming home and then we’ll go search for him. Don’t be scared, we’ll find him, okay? Mikey is going to be okay.”

Mel knowing immediately what was up with Mike had me surprised. I had been away only for two nights. But apparently it was long enough that our whole relationship was in chaos and none of my two boyfriends had talked to me about it. It hurt.

“What is it, you should have known? I don’t understand, Mel!” I asked him, perplexed. 

Mel sighed. I heard some rustling, and then I heard him talking to Tristan. “I need to get home, Mikey and Nina need me!” Then his voice was louder again, speaking to me: “Mikey wanted to meet his parents. He had decided that he finally wanted to tell them about us. I should have talked him out of it. Or at least go with him. He said it would be okay, but I… I should have known. Sorry!”

Adding to my concern, I felt anger rising in my chest. “You two should have told me. This is something that we should have done together. Mel, how could you leave him alone with this?”

I heard the engine of Mel’s car coming to life and the changed acoustic as Mel had put me on speakers. “I know, Nina. I’m sorry. Mike was insisting that I should go. I didn’t want to come off as patronizing him. He seemed so sure.” As I listened to him, I realized Mel was just as worried and upset as myself. His voice was breaking more than once. I decided now wasn’t the time for accusations. All three of us needed each other. 

“It’s okay, Mel. It’s not anybody’s fault. Just drive home safely. I will try to get Mikey to answer his damn phone in the meantime.”

The hour that it took Mel to get back home, I tried my best to find Mikey. His phone was still sending me straight to his mailbox. I left him messages, but I didn’t expect him to listen to them. Calling his friends didn’t help either. No one had seen him.

I was at the edge of a total breakdown when the door opened and Mel was finally home. As soon as he saw me, he rushed forward and took me in his arms. Sobbing uncontrollably, I buried my face in his chest. Being wrapped in his arms took a little of the pressure from my shoulders. Holding him always felt so damn good. Even when I was scared, or maybe even more so because I was scared.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s going to be fine!” Despite trying to calm me, Mel didn’t appear to be exactly in a better state than myself. His eyes were glossy, and his fingers brushed nervously over my back while he was chewing on his lip.

After catching a breath and holding each other tight for a very needed moment, we started discussing possibilities of what to do next. 

That was until the ringing of the doorbell interrupted us. My head shot up hopefully, but the realization that Mikey would have used his key hit me only a second later. Mel got up, pressing a kiss on my hair, and opened the door. 

“I need to talk to Michael.” The icy voice immediately gave me goosebumps. Mikey’s mom pushed Mel to the side and stepped into the hallway. When she realized I was blocking her way by standing in the door frame to the living room and not giving in when she tried to move around me, she rolled her eyes. “I know this might be unknown to people like you, but it’s rude to block someone from meeting their son.” The ‘like you’ was dripping with disdain. I opened my mouth, but I just didn’t know what to say. I had never been treated rude like that in my life. 

To my relief, Mel stepped to my side and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I admired him for keeping his voice calm and steady. “Mrs. Girardi, Mike isn’t at home. We don’t know where he is right now. The only thing we know is that he was very upset after meeting you and your husband.“ 

Mike’s mom seemed to be irritated for a brief moment, a hint of concern flashing over her face, before her expression turned back to the stony indifference. “Well, that’s all your fault. Why did you trick Michael into that relationship? Of course, he’s confused. This isn’t healthy. Or normal.“ Her eyes traveled over Mel and me from head to toe. “I really don’t know how you did this. How could he be lured into something like this? Why would he want to be with someone like you? Michael is such an attractive young man. Well, at least he was, until he ruined his skin with that ink. And he is smart. He could be a lawyer, like his father and brother. Have a good wife and kids. Working on the family heritage. But he is such a disappointment. And with you two in his life, we lost our hope to bring him back to reason. How could we explain this situation to friends and business partners? It’s just so humiliating.“ 

Hearing her talk about Mike in that way broke my heart. Finally, I knew what I had to say to that mean bitch that called herself a mother. “Mikey is a better person than you could ever imagine. He has the biggest heart, and he deserves to be loved exactly the way he is. It’s an utter shame that you don’t realize what a wonderful person your son is. Instead of being ashamed of him, you should be so proud. I am proud to be part of his life. And so is Mel. We love him, and we’ll stay at his side as long as he wants us to be with him. If that is something you can’t accept, it is you who is missing out.“ 

I was shaking, but I wouldn’t turn my eyes away from Mrs. Girardi. Mel’s grip around my arm tightened as a sign of affirmation, and I was so grateful to be able to lean onto his firm chest. 

Mike's mom took in a sharp breath when I had finished my rant. She opened her mouth, and I was already waiting for more hate to come out of it. But instead she snapped it shut, pressing her lips into a thin line, and turned. Her heels clicking on the floor, she stormed off. When she reached the apartment door, she turned her head another time and mustered Mel and me with a cold expression. “You two will be his ruin.” With this, Mrs. Girardi slammed the door shut.

Immediately, Mel pulled me closer into his arms. First I thought he wanted to soothe me, but as my head rested on his chest, and I heard his thundering heart, I realized he needed me to soothe him just as much.  

After a minute of silently comforting each other, sharing a few gentle kisses and touches, I pulled away and looked up at Mel. “We need to find him.” Mel nodded and grabbed my helmet and jacket and held them out for me. 

“Then let’s go!”

It could have been a nice ride if it weren’t for the circumstances. It was a warm, sunny day. I had my arms wrapped around Mel's waist while he was driving down the ocean road. It reminded me of the first time I had been riding with him, the day I fell in love. But today, the reason for the fluttery feeling in my stomach was entirely different, and not in a pleasant way. I couldn’t think of anything else but Mike. The concern felt like a tight band around my heart.

My tears had stopped falling a while back, but that didn’t mean I was feeling better now. It just meant I was too tired to keep crying. Part of me wanted to get up, get back home and apologize to my girl. I’d been acting like an asshole, leaving her standing in our bedroom without an explanation. But I just couldn’t talk to her at that moment. I needed to be alone. Now I only hoped she would understand. She probably would, she was just the sweetest girl in the world. But that only made me feel worse about hurting her. 

My thoughts drifted back to the conversation with my parents. I could still see them, my father looking at me, so blatantly disgusted, my mother shaking her head as if she could argue about how I felt. If it wasn’t that sad, I could almost laugh about it. 

This wasn’t anything debatable. I loved them, and no words from my parents could change that. Not that I wanted it to change, ever. Even if it meant losing the last strings attached to my pretentious family. 

Maybe it wasn’t that bad at all. They’d been awful to me for years. Ever since I stopped being the perfect son they expected me to be. That person that I never was in the first place. I just hid it well until I turned nineteen. But after I realized I couldn’t be the successful lawyer they wanted me to be, a man who cared more about money and family heritage than about people, everything had changed. 

I had to endure so many hours of lectures — Stop being awkward, go back to college, dress properly, get back into circles that fit your social status, yada yada yada. The day I showed up with the first tattoo that couldn’t be hidden underneath my clothes was a highlight. Mother cried for hours about how she couldn't take me to the country club anymore. What a loss. 

And yet, even though I didn’t hear anything but criticism whenever I met them, I never managed to cut ties with them. Now it was time to let go. If they couldn’t see me happy, why should I care about them?

Honestly, why was I even sad? Losing them didn't mean much. None of them was anywhere near as important to me as Nina and Mel. These two were the ones that I wanted around me. The ones in my heart. They were all the family I needed in my life.

After a last deep breath, while I was watching the waves crashing onto the shore, I got up. It was time to get back home and take care of the people I love. But as I bent down to grab my helmet, a smile crept over my face. I would always recognize the sound of that engine. 

I turned to see Mel parking his bike at the side of the road. Nina practically jumped from her seat and ran towards me. Mel followed close behind. I blinked the new tears away that were forming in the corner of my eyes. Then I finally moved into their direction to close the distance between us. 

Two pairs of arms wrapped around me while I couldn’t do anything else but to repeat the same words over and over: “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”

The kiss was messy and sloppy, three mouths devouring each other. I tasted the salt of my tears and the sweetness of my two lovers. A hand was tangled in my hair, another pressed against my chest. While I gave in to the demanding pressure of lips and tongues on me, relief rushed through my veins. This kiss was all I needed to see that they weren’t mad at me.

My own hands worked their way into their shirts, desperately searching for the warmth and softness of their skin. 

Nina was the first to retreat from our clumsy kiss. With wide eyes, she watched Mel and me as we pressed our lips onto each other one last time. Then I locked my eyes with her, my heart skipping a beat as I took in her vulnerable expression.

“Don't you ever scare me like that again, idiot!” she said, her voice shaky. In contrast to her harsh words, her hand ruffling through my hair felt so sweet and affectionate, I could kiss her all over again.

Instead, I started begging for their forgiveness once more, my words stumbling out of my mouth, but Mel grabbed my chin and turned me to look at him.

“Stop it, Mikey. There's nothing you need to apologize for. If anything, I need to say sorry. I shouldn't have let you go alone. I should have been there for you.”

Mel and I exchanged more apologies and affirmations that the other one didn't need to say sorry, until Nina stepped between us, her hands cupping our jaws.

“Can you both please stop it? I’d rather see your cute asses move to your bikes, so we can finally go home and go back to the kissing part.”

Riding home, I felt strangely lost, and it took me a while until I realized I missed Mikey and Nina, even though we had kissed only minutes ago. The need to feel them weighed heavily on my heart. But I was glad that Nina had decided to ride with Mike. He needed her more than I did right now. I wouldn’t have wanted him to feel alone. 

When we entered our apartment, I sent them to the bedroom with a slap on their asses before I made my way to the kitchen. Going through the cabinets, I grabbed snacks for us and put them on a tray. I added three mugs with tea bags, and while I was waiting for the kettle, I took out my phone and typed a message. 

The immediate answer put a smile on my face. I put the phone away, filled our mugs and went to join them in the bedroom.

“Hey, I’m surprised the two of you are not yet naked and fucking,” I said with a wide smile on my face. Mike and Nina lay on the huge bed, their limbs tangled. I put the tray onto the nightstand and Mike immediately jumped up to grab some pistachios. 

Still chewing, he apologized: “Sorry, I’m bad company today, I think I need more cuddles before we can move on to the X-rated stuff.” The puppy eyes he gave me melted my heart.

I dropped on the bed next to them and brushed a few locks from Mikey’s forehead.

“Don’t start apologizing again. Nina and I don’t care. You can take from us whatever you need. Cuddles, talking, fucking… Whatever you ask for, we’re in.”

Nina looked up from her place on Mikey’s chest with a smile, nodding softly.

Mike let out a small laugh. “Yeah, I’ll take that. Exactly in this order!”

All three of us moved to sit against the headrest, but somehow it just didn’t feel right. We were not close enough. I shook my head. “No, that’s not good.” I exclaimed. “Take off your clothes.”

Mike gave me a raised eyebrow and Nina laughed. “Stop being a horndog, Mel!” she shouted with fake disgust in her voice. 

All three of us snickered, but then I explained to them that skin-on-skin contact releases oxytocin and endorphins. That was reason enough for them to spread their clothes all over the floor. 

I got rid of my clothes, too and settled against the headrest again. This time, I guided Mike to sit between my thighs and pulled him back to lean on my chest. Nina clung to one of Mike’s thighs like a koala, her head resting on his lap. This was so much better. 

My heart clenched when Mike told us about his visit with his parents. He had let them know he was happily in love and they reacted with disgust and hate. I wished I could take the hurt he felt from him. He didn’t deserve any of this. And they undeniably didn’t deserve him. 

Mike had stopped talking but his face couldn't hide his pain. I pressed soft kisses on his neck. “You know, family has nothing to do with genes and biology,” I told him. My mind went back to my own experiences. I had never known my biological parents, yet, I was lucky to say I had a wonderful family. And Mike needed to understand that he was part of it, too.

“If they can’t accept who you are, they are not worthy of your love. There are other people who will gladly have you as a part of their life. You are family to Nina and me. And you are family to my mom and my brother. They love you, Mikey!” 

Nina wrapped her arms around Mikey’s waist and nodded. “You are also family to my parents, Mike. You know they adore you.”

Mike didn’t answer, but I felt the tension dissolving from his shoulders. Slowly he relaxed against my chest, taking deep breaths. 

We sat in comfortable silence for a few more minutes. One of my hands was playing with Mike’s curls, the other resting on his chest. Nina was brushing slow circles over Mike’s legs. Mike sighed deeply. “Thank you.” he whispered. “I love you two so much.” 

With time, our hands and mouths started to explore our bodies, lazy touches and kisses. I had my face buried in the crook of Mike’s neck when I heard the sweet giggles of Nina.

“You're definitely moving on from the cuddling and talking part to the fucking part, down there, Mikey!” she laughed and Mike and I both joined in.

“Hey, that's not my fault,” he answered. “How is he supposed to stay soft when you're playing with my piercing constantly?”

More of our laughter filled the room.

Nina shrugged, her head still on Mike’s hip. “I'm sorry, I just love your pierced dick.”

I let out an amused huff. “She really does. My cock is jealous of all the attention yours always gets. Maybe I should get myself a piercing too.” It wasn’t really a joke. I had thought about it a few times already, but I had never mentioned it to Nina or Mike before. 

In answer to my words, Mike and Nina both let out some really sexy noises. Mike looked up at me with a wide grin plastered over his face.

“Oh, I wouldn't be opposed to that. I always wanted to know how it feels on the receiving end.”

A picture flashed through my head: My dick, a metal bar in it, and Mikey’s and Nina’s beautiful faces and mouths in front of it. Damn!

“Hey, Mel, did your cock just twitch in fear or anticipation?” Mikey asked, mischief in his eyes as he watched me.

“Probably both!” I answered honestly, and we all fell back into laughter.

Nina’s fingers running up and down my length and Mel’s hardening dick pressing against my lower back did wonders to help me forget. Mel’s hand sneaked up to my neck and, with just enough authority to make me all horny, he turned my face to meet his. His mouth pressed hard against me, his tongue sliding over the seam of my lips, asking for entry. I opened my mouth for him, and Mel instantly devoured me. I let him swallow my surprised gasp when Nina’s tongue brushed over the tip of my throbbing cock.

“Damn, peanuts, you really know how to cheer me up!”

It was a fault to let go of Mel’s mouth, I thought for a second, because my sweet boy took this chance and wriggled free from under me. But then he moved to sit on his heels next to Nina, bending down, his tongue darting out to tease me. Yeah, I judged too quickly, I wasn’t mad anymore about him moving. 

Goddamn, I was a mess, swearing and moaning, watching Mel and Nina make out, my dick right in the middle. That was the best kiss I ever got, and my mouth wasn’t even taking part. But who was I to complain? I closed my eyes, let my head fall back, and focused on the incredible feeling of the two wet, warm mouths on me.

“I really can’t blame you,” I heard Mel’s deep voice saying. “This dick is seriously so damn pretty.” They were giggling. Giggling! With my dick right in front of their faces. 

“It really is. It’s unfair. How can he have such a terribly handsome face and a cock so beautiful it’s almost a shame to sit on it and hide it?”

I barked out a laugh at Nina’s remark. At the same time this weird praise sent a warm feeling through my chest. Their lips and tongues went back to nip and suck on me. I was getting close, my breath coming in hitches, but it was just never enough to get me over the edge. I needed more. More of their warm bodies pressed against me. More of their own pleasure. More of them.

“I need to feel you both! Please!” I sounded desperate, but I didn’t care. I didn’t have to hide my needs from them. The realization hit me like a truck. This is where I belonged, where I could be myself and wouldn’t be judged. Whenever I was in their arms, I was home. 

“Come here!” Mel was kneeling at the edge of the bed, his thighs spread wide. Before I could even move an inch, his hands wrapped around my legs, and he pulled me down to him. Teasingly slow, his hands brushed along my thighs until they were resting on my knees. Mel pressed them down, opening me wide to him. Nina came back into my view, handing over a bottle of lube to Mel. 

“Thank you, babe!” Mel and Nina shared a fierce kiss, Mel’s teeth pulling on her bottom lip when she pulled back again. My heart was racing in my chest in anticipation as I watched them spreading lube over their fingers and Mel’s dick. Another squeeze of the cool liquid ran down my ass crack, and Nina’s fingers guided it into the tight ring of muscle. Then I felt the pad of her finger slowly working me open.

It didn’t take long for her to find the spot that made me lose control. I was moaning, desperately squirming as I tried to fuck myself on her hand. I looked down and saw Mel fisting his cock as he watched us. How could I not totally lose my mind when they played me like this? Nina took pity on me and added a second digit, but it still wasn’t enough. 

“Please, I’m ready to take you, Mel. And I need you to take me!” I cupped Nina’s cheek with my hand, looking pleadingly into her eyes. Nina’s fingers slipped out of me, and I winced at the loss. 

But it was only seconds until I felt the tip of Mel’s cock pressing against my ass, and I sighed in relief. In the torturous way that Mel enjoyed so much, he leisurely eased into me. He stilled completely when he was buried to the hilt. I was just a second from crying out my frustration when Nina threw a leg over my torso and sat right down onto my dick.

“Fuck!” 

She was so soft and tight and warm around my cock. And damn, Nina wasn’t holding back. She fucked me fast and hard. 

“Here I was thinking we’re going to make tender love!” Mel snort-laughed, and I swear I felt his dick twitch inside me. He looked at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“You just wanted to make me go insane,” I told him, mirroring the teasing expression. “But I need you to go rogue with me. Fuck me into next week! Or better next month!”

That didn’t need an answer. At least not a verbal one. Mel’s grip on my thighs became more rigid. His hips slammed into me forcefully, and I moaned with every of his brutal thrusts.

Nina bent forward, and her gorgeous tits bounced straight into my face. This must be heaven. I felt I was getting close. But I didn’t want to go there just yet. I needed more of this. I tried to count backwards from 100, but Mel rutting into me with every number I came up with wasn’t helping. Fuck it, I was lost. I planted my feet on the bed and started to pound up into Nina, crashing into Mel with every back stroke. If I go down, I go down with flying colors.

Nina was getting close, too, I felt it. My hand moved to where we were joined, my fingers rubbing over her swollen nub. Yeah that will do the trick. Her mouth fell open, and she was making all those sweet noises that make me so horny. She started to pulse around my dick. Here we go! A few more strokes and then Nina came all over my cock, and she pulled me right with her. I think I cried out some words while I exploded in her, but don’t ask me what it was. My brain is not working right now. There's just this fluffy, warm feeling rushing through my body.

Nina crashed into my chest and her mouth found mine. Nothing better than some post coital kissing.

Mel was bending down, too, to take part in this mid-fuck cuddling. The new angle felt heavenly. I just came, but damn if I didn’t want to keep going with whatever Mel was doing to me here. But it didn’t take him long and he was a goner, too. He pulled out of me and came all over my stomach and Nina’s ass. Panting, he lay down onto my other side and made me the happiest man on earth, thoroughly fucked, one perfect human being in each arm.

A long make-out session later, Nina locked her eyes with me.

“Are you okay?”

I smiled like the idiot I am. “The perfect amount of sticky, sweaty and happy!” 

Mel pressed a kiss on my cheek. “That’s what we were going for!” I shut my eyes, took a deep breath, and embraced the content sleepiness that took me over. 

The sound of the doorbell woke me from a very nice dream, one of the kind where you’re naked and not freaking out. 

Mel tapped me on my shoulder. “This is for you,” he said. I frowned, trying to make it make sense. I searched my brain for possible appointments I could have forgotten and came up blank. What doesn’t mean that there isn’t one, I’m really great at forgetting shit. I leaned up on my elbows and shouted as loud as I could: “One moment! Be right there!”

But with one glance at me, Mel shook his head. “Nah, you go take a shower first. I’m not letting her see you like this.” Yeah, now I was even more confused, but he wasn’t wrong. I was in no state to welcome any guest.

Mel pressed a kiss on my cheek, another one on Nina, who was mumbling unintelligible words into the covers next to me. The semi I was sporting grew a little firmer as I watched Mel grabbing some boxers and a shirt. Yeah, time for a shower! A cold one!

I felt a lot more awake when I emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later. The smell of coffee was wafting through the air, luring me into the kitchen. I was still clueless who was at the door for me that early in the morning. Well, at least I guess it’s early, I hadn’t checked, to be honest. 

I let out a surprised huff when I saw Catherine sitting at the table. A warm smile formed on my face and I rushed forwards to give her the big hug she deserved. I love Mel’s mom, She’s a queen!

As I pulled back, I changed my face to the apologizing frown everyone around me knew too well. “What did I miss? Sorry, I forgot!” 

But Catherine’s smile only widened as she shook her head. “No, darling. You didn’t forget anything. This is a little surprise visit. I thought about taking you out for breakfast.”

I turned my head to Mel and Nina, who were busy with eggs and pans. “Yay, peanuts, put that stuff back into the fridge, we’re going out.”

I took the last sip from my milkshake that had just the perfect disgusting amount of sugar I needed to get through this morning. I had talked about my dysfunctional family for twenty minutes straight, but Catherine didn’t look like she minded. Her eyes never left mine, and she gifted me with more of her warm smiles. 

All three of them answered with a laugh. Catherine put her perfectly manicured hand on my shoulder. “No, sweetheart. I want to spend some time just with you.”

“Oh honey! I can’t believe how ignorant they all are.” There was so much empathy in her eyes as she talked to me. “I need you to understand that all this has absolutely nothing to do with you and everything with them. It is not your fault. You are the most precious, compassionate soul. I am so glad that Mel found you. It’s a gift that I get to have you as part of my family. There’s enough love in me for another son, and I’m happy to share it with you.”

I wasn’t embarrassed about the tears that rolled down my cheeks, here in the middle of a coffee shop.  It’s not like I could have held them back anyway. 

“Thank you, Catherine!” My voice was breaking. “This means a lot to me.”

“You can call me mom, you know. If you want to, of course.” 

Another sob escaped me.

“I’d love to. Thank you, mom!”

[rebo-chan]

Sorry y'all this one's gonna be a long one lol fun analysis/theorizing/headcanoning whatever the fuck this is under the cut :)

So, lately I've been really thinking about Lambo and Tsuna's relationship, Lambo's connection to Vongola, and Lambo's spot as the Lightning Guardian. I know as a fandom, we tend to disregard Lambo because he has like.. two fights in the whole series or wish that someone else was made the Lightning Guardian because that boy is Literally Five. And I won't act like it wouldn't have been cool to see another character as Lightning Guardian (My Haru Guardian fans rise up where are you) but I think what Amanos done here is really fun too from an analysis perspective.

To start with, Tsuna's family is not really a..traditional Mafia family or even a traditional Vongola family either. Let's look at this here, he's got his Two Best Friends(TM), his crush's big brother, the leader of the Disciplinary Committee at his school, a criminal, a half dead girl, and the aforementioned five year old as his guardians. This is FAR from what's likely expected out of the Vongola family, even when you date it back to Primo AT LEAST PRIMO HAD PRINCES, PRIESTS, SAMURAIS as his guardians. (Though he gets away with having One Best Friend (TM) as his guardian.) Yet somehow, their family makes it work!! They survive the Mafia world, multiple times throughout the series and when it's not working they get stronger as a unit and they fight for each other and make it out together. And I think that's the beauty of their specific family.

So then you have Lambo, who Tsuna would do anything for just to avoid Lambo having to experience a fraction of the shit they go through. And Tsuna actually SUCCEEDS at this, he doesn't normally succeed when it comes to being avoidant of Mafia stuff but this was something throughout the series that he was so genuinely adamant against. He only let Lambo fight when he truly had to and even then he very minimally let the Mafia world wrap its greedy paws around Lambo. Kokuyo arc, Tsuna didn't even sort of kind of a little bit consider taking Lambo with them (which would later help keep Kyoko and Haru safe), Varia arc, knowing that this would disqualify him, Tsuna decided he could not allow Lambo to keep fighting.

Future Arc, Tsuna kept Lambo out of the fight as much as he could, allowing the non-fighters to take care of him and I-pin. Shimon Arc, Tsuna felt real regret at the prospect that he allowed Lambo to come.

(And Arco arc where Lambo was hardly present at either, which I'd like to imagine that if Lambo was involved in Arco arc then Tsuna may have just absolutely fucking died)

Tsuna to Lambo is not his guardian (Frankly, he doesn't view any of his guardians as such, they are his friends, his pride, his comrades, and those he has traded blows with and knows they can be trusted.) Lambo to Tsuna is his little brother. This five year old was sent on an assassination attempt that was absolutely in no circumstance meant to actually succeed and the Bovinos know that. To send Lambo to assassinate the strongest hitman was a death mission. So, Tsuna took this child in (or rather this child stuck around bc his Mom makes banger meals) and immediately Tsuna assumes the role of his brother. Lambo and Tsuna are the closest out of all the kids. (Ofc Tsuna loves I-pin and fuuta too, but I think it's safe to say Lambo is his dumb little brother)

Now, I don't think that Tsuna is ever going to see Lambo as anything but his little brother. I actually theorize that the way TYL Lambo is the way he is because Tsuna never really got out of the habit of babying him. He's calmed down since he was a kid and developed a more nonchalant personality with the occasional tantrum because you can't tell me Tsuna DOESNT STILL view TYL Lambo as a non-combatant. When Tsunas 15, he looks at 5 year old Lambo and goes no thanks that boy is never touching a weapon in his life. When Tsunas is 25, he sees 15 year Lambo and goes that is STILL a child he is never touching a weapon in his life. And yes he's completely unaware of the hypocrisy in my head.

This is a spoiled little brother no one can tell me otherwise.

So we know Tsuna just sees him as his kid brother and not a real guardian. But then you have Lambo's feelings about the whole matter. We know that Lambo doesn't really consider Tsuna a boss but as his big brother, but I don't think that changes a lot for Lambo. While fighting is scary for Lambo, he still desires to follow alongside Tsuna and his friends. He doesn't want to be left behind and makes Tsuna promise him he'll take him wherever he goes. He sees Tsuna freaking out about him being a child in a battlefield and he goes, "No you don't understand, I want to be there."

And that? That right there is what fucks me up after everything. Lambo as a concept for a Lightning Guardian feels really unique because of this. He's the youngest one. He's always going to chase after the others, trying to keep up with them, to walk alongside them. One day, he wants to catch up and be considered a rightful Guardian like the others. And that is so... Tsuna and him would be batting heads over this because I cannot see Tsuna relenting on Lambo staying out of the battle. I cannot see Tsuna ever feeling like Lambo's ready. Not because he thinks Lambo is weak, but because Lambo's his baby brother and Tsuna needs him more away from the battle or else he can't focus.

While Tsuna doesn't react outwardly in this frame, I do think it's not a coincidence that he could focus on fighting the battle and not be "impatient" as Reborn put it, the moment he saw Gokudera and Hibari on the battlefield. He could focus easier knowing his friends were running around saving Lambo and co.

Okay, so you have the Big brother who wants to protect his little brother from seeing the same stuff he does, from fighting the same battles he does, and wants him to grow up as a regular kid (a right which he had been robbed off the moment a certain hitman showed up at his door). Then you have the little brother who wants wholeheartedly to be there, desires to catch up to his big brother and know the world that his big brother knows.

How does this difference in value get addressed? well it doesn't because Lambo is still 5 and Shounen jump are cowards for ending Amanos series when they did <3 B U T we have this.

We all know this scene for when we rewatched Reborn for the first and went "..wait.." because that was some actually sweet foreshadowing from Amano. Okay, so. We have a Lambo who finally did it. Finally is someone worthy of being called the Vongola Lightning Guardian. And Tsuna and co are implied to have just been... Gone. All of Tsuna's efforts to raise this kid in a regular life are ripped away because something happens to HIM, not Lambo. And from Lambo's perspective, he's caught up finally but the person he was following isn't around anymore. He didn't think he'd see him again. I think it's safe to assume that this scene either implies that something happens to Tsuna in his 30s (since we know he wasn't actually dead TYL) OR 20yl Lambo is from a parallel world where Byakuran had actually won and actually took Tsunas life.

And I think that's some real meat to bite into for these characters. A little brother who will lose his big brother if he doesn't do something, get stronger in time. A big brother who won't let him join the battle because he's afraid of losing HIS little brother. A Vongola Lightning Guardian who wants to be a shield for his Boss, and a Boss won't let him be a shield.

And that? That's a good concept for a Vongola Lightning Guardian.

Thank you for reading this far if you did :] this is a bit of a ramble but I was thinking about it and I felt it nice to share. I hope maybe I shared some of my brain worms with you <3

[reallifetangent]

Just saw someone on TikTok saying the "You could live a thousand lives and never deserve that boy" saying that Cat King, Monty and Charles don't deserve Edwin and I've never seen so much bullshit in my life (as far as I can remember)

How come you throw down 3 character arcs and ignoring at least Charles' temper and context to put above on a pillar one character who has bad things as well.

Post was in Spanish, I'm translating what it said with the colors.

Sorry for the random rambling/texts, I had to get it out of my system and sorry if I had wrong stuff

Obviously spoilers about the whole series

Cat King: he started wrong and pressured Edwin on things he didn't know

There's an analysis post here that explains why the punishment made sense. Edwin was warned of not messing around with the cats. Cat King of course had moments where he made Edwin obvious and clearly uncomfortable, and either stopped there or stepped back. Even between all his flirty aura and wanting to play and be loved by this Twink Ghost, he still respected Edwin and was pretty much consensual (the bracelet not because again, it's just the punishment because of what Edwin did to the cats), like proposing counting cats instead of pleasing him physically as soon as he realized Edwin wasn't in that lane.

By the end of the season, he's the one that changes the less respecting from where they started (I think). He's still a flirty, charming, iconic, still respecting and asking for the hug, this time only calling him from the distance because he knows the context, they're mourning Niko, he can't be that flirty or attention seeker, he knows how much she meant for Ed. The flowers scene where it's both flowers for him but also for her (the flower's meanings about rebirth, purity, innocence. I think it's how Niko was for this world, but also huge kudos to this Reddit when I was looking for the flower scene)

Monty: tricked Edwin so the witch could have her revenge.

Monty is a Crow Familiar. He ofc owes loyalty to his witch. He was turned into a human with the condition of helping his master. And he catches feelings. He's been a human since what? Less than a week? He gets hooked by Edwin. He loves Edwin. When they kiss and Edwin says he doesn't love him back, he's hurt. And he's Esther's familiar. What did she do once she didn't get what she wanted? Plan on revenge. He's still hurt, he thinks Edwin didn't care about his feelings. He even said they shouldn't be friends anymore.

Damn, he even went along deeper even thinking that they wouldn't get the case since they were Ace Detectives, until he heard that the fungus ate ghosts/spectrals so this wasn't an easy revenge. He tried to lead them/him away from it. Then Cat King interrupted and well, shit went down. More hurt feelings, more disgraces. He gets back to Esther who dislikes that her dear crow familiar was on the side of Edwin and caught feelings. He didn't want to feel like that, he didn't ask to be hurt, didn't want to be human and have feelings. Ofc he couldn't be with Edwin as long as Esther is his witch, she still has control over him. And yet he tried to go against her orders. He even helped Charles getting away on last ep.

Charles: said cruel words, wishing he never died and throwing in his face that Ed would never be able to keep the group together because he can't and he lacks Char's charisma.

Charles was fresh from living on a loop that caught him because his reaction to trauma was too strong. He had to live(?) and watch over and over again a family suffering for the exact same thing that reminded him his living life. Even worse, he had to experience on bucle him trying to stop it just to be interrupted and made him watch it until the father was done, looking at the corpses and then the gunshot. Tell me about feeling helpless and useless when you are stuck on a loop where your attempt of trying to help it's not working and you are seeing it over and over again. Ofc he was more than upset for not being able to help, to stop Crystal from getting hurt, from Edwin lying to him because Ed was troubled in his mind, and Night Nurse reminding him the physical violence he lived, how he died.

Charles and Edwin died at 16. Sixteen. How many things they could've experienced but never happened? They'll never get to grow up. He died and he never had a chance to stand up against his dad and protect his mom. He lost the chance to keep the bullies away from others. He lost all the sensations, he lost most of his senses. Not being able to enjoy things because he can't feel them. He misses spaghetti, he said he might miss kissing (he and Crystal kissed, he said he didn't feel anything but well, as long as she does, he's okay with it). He misses being able to have people his age to hang around. And everything was taken away from him.

Ofc he tries to be positive about it, he tries to be useful to make up for not helping when he was alive. He didn't want to be like Brad and Hunter, but he wanted to be that cool guy loved by everyone and was an actual good person. You can't hold on a smile for too long without it turning into a fake one after having all of that. All those years he shoved away the familiar violence, until he had to live it again, two times, and see that he couldn't stop it. He's hurt by everyone (Edwin lying to him, the whole Crystal's case still unsolved, etc), and he reached the limit. Are you telling me he would just smile again and pretend it was nothing? He'd been doing that for so long, and now he was unable to hide it again.

And last but not least, Edwin.

Edwin Payne, sassy Edwardian Era Teenager who has an ego so big you can see it from space, plays hard to get on the cases, thinks he's better/smarter than anyone (one thing is being it, other is claiming it), thinking everyone is on his same level or page (the whole Does that look blue to you? We have the same left! Implying that what he says and knows are too obvious that forgets not everyone thinks like him. I relate to that soooo bad) Shoved away more than once Crystal, has more salt than the Dead Sea, calls out more than once Charles for trying to keep Crystal around, when Jenny was calling Crystal out for running or whatever he was shocked that Crystal wasn't paying attention to him like how dares she ignore me. And don't get me started with invalidating everyone's feelings when they said they were hurt or living a nightmare... We got it. Hell was a literal hell. But you're dealing right now with a girl who's around 16-18 and you're trying to solve her case, not a competition about "Who suffered the most".

Ofc at the end of the season he's finally fond of Crystal, he was finally accepting her as part of the team even without her powers, he's now able to express better his feelings, better at setting and saying things and stop assuming everyone is on his same level, he starts caring about people like Monty (even after breaking his crow heart, he apologizes and tries to explain that he was new to that as well and things could've been with them staying as friends until Cat King made his entrance and the reveal, Cat King with the whole Cat Mouse Game he was able to again, start accepting he has feelings and being the way they are is not bad, able to set boundaries, even allow himself to play silly things like actually counting the cats.

Edwin had to go through a lot of things to be able to actually be open and grow as a character. I feel everyone likes Edwin at the end of the season or praise his Salty Sassy Edwardian Teenager phase, and it's not bad, but please do not throw down other characters to get him higher. Or at least, don't throw them down like that. Do not treat him like it's flawless, just because you like his flaws.

I mean, I feel like I'm not writing nothing we haven't seen, like stating the obvious. Maybe a rewatch to see better the character arcs?

[robloart]

I watched the begins≠youth show a couple days ago. I was too busy to talk about it but now I have down time and kind wanna go over some stuff. (I pirated it for the boycott obviously and bc the platform Hybe released it on is ass backwards and weird)

I was kinda concerned that I wouldn't get emotionally invested with the story without BTS there but I really liked it so far. It hits the emotional beats really well. The actors are really good and do a good job bringing their own individuality into their performance while also emulating some mannerism of their respective members character. Enough that I'm reminded of BTS but not too much that makes it feel weird or uncanny.

They changed some things but not too much so far. I think the way the BTUniverse was presented made it much easier to adapt it into a series. But also made it so some characters are just too devoid of their respective members personality. Such as Dogeon. He doesn't feel like Namjoon to me and his actor doesnt resemble him at all I feel like the other actors even just slightly resemble the members but not him and I really don't like it. But What we know of all their characters is only their adult selves after what happens in high school tho so I forgive it but he's the only one I had trouble really vibing with bc of that.

I don't know if theyre gonna include the supernatural elements into the show it seems like it might be a crime drama murder mystery where they deal with extenuating circumstances of their daily lives while investigating the past and how they may be connected with each other. Their was a lot more emphasis placed on yoongi mothers death and what may have lead to it than in the original BTU.

I like the direction but I would have loved the supernatural elements more than just another murder mystery HS drama.

Jins character (hwan) really pissed me off at first but it was intentional ofc. The actor does a good job. His character is quiet and contemplative but cute when he wants to be. Loved the moments between his character and Namjoons (Dogeon) I'ma namjonist at heart and BTU was giving namjin hard ASF.

The actor for hobis character (hosu) is a master at emulating his mannerisms and even the inflection in his voice and his dialect. It was amazing how I immediately knew who he was while I kinda struggled for the other characters until I realized they still had the same last names as the BTS members 💀. Hes cute and acts as a mediator for the group like jhope sometimes does irl. The actor does a good job of balancing hobis sunny personality and his quiet suffering with his trauma and disorder. I think his narcolepsy might still be munchausen's disorder like in the og.

The actor for taehyungs character (jooan) really matched his carefree and playful nature of both his character and taehyung. His smile and facial expressions really remind me of taehyung. He reminds me of how tae portrayed his character in hwarang. They took away his sister so idk if tae(jooan) killing his dad is gonna be something that happens since his sister's abuse was the motivator for it. Again I think it's bc they may have taken away the supernatural time travel elements.

I was worried about yoongis character (cein). I was really hoping they didn't portray him as one dimensional. Just angsty sleepy and quiet. The same way some army's portray yoongi in fanfics sometimes. But I like that they included how cute loud and mischievous he can be with bursts of energy. How reliable and loyal he is. How he cares for ppl with actions instead of words. I think Cein's personality resembled yoongis the most out of any other character and their respective member. The one thing I ABSOLUTELY hated was the implication that yoongi or his character would be uncomfortable with queerness even as a joke. Mr tongue technology himself?? I don't think so. They can miss me with that bullshit.

Haru being a unisex name just like Jimin is so cute. I like Jimins character his actor is really good and nailing the more serious scenes. His story along with yoongis(Cein) was the most compelling to me so far. I like how his trauma is portrayed and even the stigma around it. I like how they put him in charge of the decorations and cake for Cein's birthday like Jimin used to do irl before the company sorta took that over. I don't remember Jimin(haru) having an older brother but fuck him and his mom and dad.

Like I said before Joons character (Dogeon) bothered me the most. He's poor and sad and that's really all there is to him rn and it kinda sucks. The actor doesn't remind me of namjoon at all. His performance is good but the writing for the character is just a bit weak. They also make him more law abiding than he was in the BTU. He acts as a voice of reason to tehyungs (jooan) mischief but I don't really remember him being like that. But again the BTU didn't explore their highschool days THAT much.

Jungkook character (jeha) is adorable. the actor is a minor so I hope ppl take that into account when talking about him and his character. His home life isn't as bad as it was portrayed in the BTU but I think the abuse he faces will obviously escalate. I like the dimension they added to his character. I'm ready to see where this goes for him.

I screamed when I saw Jung sungil as jins(hwan) dad. Very good choice. I loved him in the glory but I'm so prepared to see him as a villain. Also the actors from beyond evil playing jungkooks(jeha) older brother.

Very interested to see where this trail goes with yoongis(Cein's) mom. If Hwans dad did actually SA her and what lead to her death. I was surprised they included that detail. I also have a feeling that Hwan's dads weied issue with Hwan having friends may have something to do with Cein's mom.

There also seems to be a culminating revelation of how the boys were involved in Cein's mom death. They kept showing flashbacks of each boy when some building exploded. I thought it was yoongis suicide in BTU but then they showed both where Cein was during the explosion so it was some other fire and not the fire that namjoon dies in (didn't relaize how many fire related deaths was in the BTU) bc I believe that takes place later when they're older and if they changed that fire to fit the lack of super natural elements then it still wouldn't fit bc jooan doesn't know who Cein is at the time of the explosion. So it must be the fire yoongis mom dies in if not then idk.

Honestly just really looking forward to seeing where this all leads especially if they've excluded the time traveling.

The show also gave me this weird sense of sad nostalgia for hyyh Bangtan. I cried a little seeing them interacted with such simplicity especially Cein's bday scenes bc I was just heavily reminded of BTS and really miss them.

[sillyrabbit81]

The Fallen Wolves Brotherhood

Series Summary: Lori "Babycakes" Tate swore she would never date a biker but when her life is in danger, she is put under the protection of a small club known as The Fallen Wolves Brotherhood. She suddenly finds herself attracted to not one, but five bikers.

A reverse harem, biker AU.

Part One Summary: After her parents death, Lori is back at the club she grew up in and finds herself being sent away with an attractive but completely unknown biker.

Pairing: Captain Syverson x OFC, Walter Marshall x OFC, Mike x OFC, Geralt x OFC, August Walker x OFC

Word Count: Approx. 3.3k

Warnings:

Series Warnings:

Reverse harem, age gap (OFC 23, ages range from 23 to mid 40s), oral sex (male and female receiving), unprotected p in v sex, anal sex, group sex, masturbation, praise kink, mentions of body fluids, drug use, recreational drinking, sex work, criminal activities, mention of death, violence, use of weapons, mentions of war, mentions of abuse, angst, fluff, probably a lot more that I will add as they come up.

Part One Warnings:

Mention of death, drug use, violence, body fluids, slight angst, blink and you'll miss it implication of smut.

Authors Note: I've been working on this story for about nine months, maybe more? I keep thinking I'm going to forget about it, but it keeps worming its way back into my brain and the only way to purge it is to write it and post it, so I woke up this morning and decided fuck it, post it.

I have a heap of people to thank for discussing the story with me and for beta reading. Because it's been such a long process, if I have forgotten you, I sincerely apologise. So thanks a million to @amberangel112 @henryobsessed @littlefreya @nashibirne

I hope you enjoy it!

Divider made by me. Edited by me, there will be errors.

Masterlist

Parts Masterlist

Part Two

Lori

When I noticed the gathering started winding down and some of the out of state clubs began to leave, I was able to breathe a little easier for the first time in two weeks.

Although I thought it unlikely that the uneasy truce of a wake would be disturbed by anything more than a punch up, I still worried about it and the subsequent attention of the media and the cops. I had hopes that my face wouldn't be plastered all over the news, but it seemed a little unlikely given the scrutiny that the funeral had been under. I was under no illusions that my brother would escape unscathed.

Thinking of my brother made me glance at Nate. 

I sighed; It was a good thing the media weren’t here now, and the cops were too chicken shit to try and breach the walls of the compound.

With a rolled-up $50 note up his nose and two women hanging off him, Nate was the epitome of the biker stereotype. His dirty blonde hair hung to his shoulders, his face was hardened and scarred, making him seem older than his thirty years, as did the tattooed cursive on his forehead just beneath his hairline. 

Nate took his hit, throwing his head back and wiping at his nose. He grinned as he sniffed and handed the note to one of the girls. I could hear his snort across the room and above the thrumming beat of the dance music; his nostrils must be fucked. 

From what I knew, he’d been like this for days, and although normally he tried to hide the extent of his drug habit from me, the fact he was openly high and allowing one of the girls to rub his crotch showed how far gone he was.

I’d like to think his behaviour was a one off, that it was his way of dealing with Mum and Dad's death. But I doubted it.

So much had changed since I last spent any time at the clubhouse to the point where it was almost unrecognisable. The common room used to be homey despite being in an industrial building; carpeted with soft sofas, plush rugs and sturdy wooden coffee tables. Now it was like a nightclub, complete with stripper poles, black and red leather sofas, smoky glass topped tables, and neon lights.

I hated it.

Crossing my legs, I started to get angry. I used to love coming here when Dad was President, seeing all my uncles and their families. Even memories of the sweets and sodas the guys used to sneak me behind my mother’s back wasn’t enough to calm my mood. Thoughts of the last few times I was here were too vivid. Seeing what my father and brother had become and the way my uncles had stopped seeing me as a little girl made me stop coming here about five years ago. It was also about the time Mum had finally decided to divorce Dad.

I’d had enough, seen enough. Nate didn’t even appear to be on planet earth anymore; he won’t notice if I slip out. I’ll just go home, have a long bath, maybe call Jake and invite him over.

As stealthily as I could, I got my bag and nearly made it to the small cut out of the closed roller door when a Prospect laid a hand roughly on my wrist. His fingers dug into my skin painfully and he pulled my arm with a short jerk, bringing me closer, until my body bumped into his.

“Hooks wants a word,” he said, all smug and grinning as if this idiot knew what Nate would want with me. 

I didn’t know him, but I knew a million like him, and he thinks he knows me. He thinks I’m just another girl, one of the desperate groupies who hang around hoping to tame a wild biker or use them for drugs or clout. He obviously didn’t know Nate was my brother, or he’d never lay a hand on me.

Looking down at my wrist, I smirked before raising my eyes, letting as much of my anger seep through as I dared. I may have been out of the life for years, but I still knew how to play the game.

“I suggest you remove your hand, Prospect before…”

I didn’t get to finish my warning as a fist smashed into the boy’s face. His nose made a sickening crunch followed by a crimson spray of blood which splattered on the floor barely missing my heels.

The fist belonged to Hustle who was grinning like a Cheshire cat at the chance to expel some pent up aggression. He was Nate’s Sergeant at Arms, his enforcer, and my father’s before that. He loved a bit of a fight, but he wasn’t crazy, his violence was usually held on a tight leash.

“Fuck off, pup,” he growled. His eyes danced, obviously not 100% sober, but it was alcohol rather than drugs that Hustle preferred.

The Prospect held his nose and his tongue, but the fiery hatred that burned in his eyes couldn’t be hidden.

“Hooks wants her,” he managed to say, spitting blood onto the concrete floor.

“I’ll take her to her brother,” Hustle said, amused at the way the Prospect's face went white and his eyes widened. Hustle chuckled as the Prospect mumbled apologies to me and scampered away.

“Think he’ll make it?” I asked Hustle when he turned back to me. 

Hustle shrugged, it wasn’t really his decision to make but being a senior member of the club, his opinion had weight. 

“Takes a punch like a champ, that’s a good sign.” Then he smiled at me, “You alright, Babycakes?”

I mirrored his smile, I couldn’t help it; until two weeks ago no one had called me Babycakes in years. I had almost forgotten the nickname until I was suddenly and violently thrust back into this world. 

The name had been bestowed on me when I was a kid. I had complained bitterly that everyone else I knew had a cool nickname and I wanted one too. I can’t remember who first called me that, it was probably Hustle himself. He was one of the few guys in the club I still trusted, he never made a pass at me as I grew into a woman, and that had meant a lot to me at the time. It still did.

“Yeah, I’m good. What does Nate want?”

“Dunno,” Hustle lied smoothly.

I rolled my eyes at him, and he shrugged again. He’d defend me against anyone, but his loyalty was to the club before anything and anyone else, including me. 

“C’mon,” he said, putting a soft hand on my upper back and guiding me gently but firmly to my father’s old office.

The room was one thing that Nate hadn’t changed in the years since he’d slowly taken over Dad’s empire. The office was still clad in rich wood panelling, painted blood red, with black accents. Various memorabilia filled the room including a large fresco of the club’s Colours which drew the eye to the wall behind my father’s dark timbre desk. I remember when Dad commissioned it, he had been so proud to show it off.

Nate was standing near the desk, talking to another biker I’d never met before. I didn’t remember seeing him at the funeral, but there were a lot of out of towners there. 

He was good looking enough, with close cropped hair, a scruffy dark brown beard and bright blue eyes that seemed intelligent but still had that familiar aura of danger that I used to think all men possessed. Physically broad and well built, he didn’t strike me as a guy who indulged in vices the way Nate and most of his club did. He seemed fit, if a little soft around the edges; he had the body of a strong man rather than a bodybuilder. His thick arms were visible below the sleeves of his black t-shirt, revealing black and grey tattoos of engines, flames, smoke and skulls. Memento Mori was written in cursive across his throat, though it was partially hidden by his beard. My Brother’s Keeper was etched along one forearm and Never Alone across the other, both in the same elaborate script and gaudy silver and gold rings encircled nearly all his fingers. He would make an imposing figure to anyone who hadn’t grown up with men like him.

His jacket was hanging on the back of one of the chairs in front of my father’s desk. I couldn’t place the colours, except of course for the 1% patch. He had to be from out of state, I knew all the clubs in Nevada, but I had never heard of The Fallen Wolves Brotherhood and the large wolf’s head howling at the moon was too recognisable for me to have forgotten a patch like that.

Out of Town nodded towards me as I entered the room. I thought I saw a flicker of recognition in his eyes; maybe he had been at the funeral after all. He seemed polite and business-like on the surface, but his eyes studied me intently, lingering briefly on my breasts. 

To be fair though, his gaze was practically that of a gentleman’s in this world so I let it slide and nodded back to him before lazily flopping on one of the leather sofas, hoping my casualness would hide my apprehension.

“What do you want, Nate?” I asked, hoping I sounded terse rather than worried.

“I need to talk to you about some things,” he said, sounding surprisingly level-headed considering the copious amounts of drugs he’s been taking. The words ‘functional addict’ crossed my mind. 

“I’ve been here all day, hell, I’ve been around for nearly two weeks. You’ve had all that time to talk to me, now I’m tired and I want to go home. Can’t we talk about it tomorrow?”

“The contact only just got finalised,” he explained.

“A contract?” I shook my head. “No. You know I don’t want to know anything about—”

“This contract is about you,” Nate interrupted.

I blinked and looked from Nate to Out of Town to Hustle and back to Nate. “Excuse me?”

“For your protection,” Nate added.

“I’m not in the life, I don’t—”

“Neither was your mum, Babycakes,” Hustle said softly.

I felt a sudden chill at Hustle’s words. I could believe that in my brother’s drug-addled state he was being overprotective, or plain paranoid, but Hustle wasn’t prone to exaggeration. 

Hustle had loved Mum and not in a way that was disrespectful. He seemed to admire her, respecting her fidelity and steadfastness. There weren’t a lot of women like Mum in the circle’s Hustle ran in. Most women wanted to play the bad boy game, they liked the danger of a biker, the excitement of an untameable man. Love was rarely long term, and Hustle knew that as well as anyone after three failed marriages. 

It wasn’t just the women who didn’t stick around, most of the men couldn’t keep their cocks in their pants. Even Dad had been known to screw around on occasion while he was still married to Mum. It was the life and it was another reason I avoided it.

“You said she was collateral damage, you said she wasn’t a target,” I said to Hustle, unable to keep the accusation of dishonesty from my tone.

“New information has come to light,” Nate responded and I turned my ire towards him with a glower. He raised a finger at me and continued, “Specific threats against all our families. Most of the guys have already moved their women and kids out of state, and since I don’t have a woman or kids, the threat is on the last of my family. You.”

I knew where this was going now. The past two weeks had been intense and not just because of my parents death. Everywhere I went I needed permission from Nate and if he did let me leave, it was with Hustle or one of the other senior club members. I thought it was because of the cops or media attention. 

“Fuck.” I dropped my head into my hands. 

It’s not the first time I’ve had to leave the state. Hell, once a few years ago, Mum and I had to go to Canada and stay with a friendly club up there for three months. Anger boiled in me, I thought I was out, free from this shit. I should have known better, no one ever truly leaves the life. 

“How long?” I asked.

“Until the threat is eliminated,” Nate said matter of factly. I could have smacked him.

“Fucking hell!”

“I’m sorry, Lori.” 

I looked up at Nate. He never apologised and although it seemed genuine, it didn’t diminish my anger. He obviously felt guilty about something and I wondered how much to blame he was for what was going on; how badly he had fucked up? However, the appearance of regret in Nate’s eyes was fleeting, and he became cold and business-like again. 

“This is Syverson,” Nate pointed to Out of Towner, “His club specialises in protection. You’ll be going with him to their clubhouse just outside of Dallas and waiting it out with them.”

“Texas? Across half the fucking country? Come on, Nate, really? I thought you meant New Mexico or California.”

“It’s where I live,” Syverson finally spoke up. 

His voice surprised me. He was a southerner and his drawl was subtle but it was there, and his tone was soothingly deep. 

“We take long term protection cases back to the clubhouse. It’s secure and well fortified and more guys to share the load,” Syverson smiled at me. I suppose he meant for it to be reassuring, but it came across as patronising.

“You’ll leave tonight,” Nate said. “All the clubs leaving is good cover; no one will notice another biker and his old lady heading out.”

“Wait, we’re going on his bike? To Dallas? That’ll take a week!” My thighs and hips groaned at the prospect. That’s a long time on a bike and I haven’t ridden that far in years.

“Three days, if we make some headway tonight,” Syverson said and like a mind reader he added, “We’ll stop plenty to stretch your legs, sugar.” 

I raised my eyebrows at ‘sugar’, but Nate didn’t blink. Hustle gave him some side-eye that Syverson caught but ignored. That was interesting. Despite never hearing of him before, for Hustle to let it go meant this guy, or his club, or both, had some serious clout.

Looking at the three men I could see no way out of this; my shoulders slumped and I gave up. My parents were dead, my brother was a criminal and a drug addict, and I was being pulled back into a world I thought I had left behind. I wanted to cry, but I knew I couldn’t show any sign of weakness, so I stayed angry instead. I figured it would be better to give in and go with Syverson and try to worm my way home later. I knew Nate well enough that if I tried to fight him he wouldn’t be above handcuffing me to Syverson and basically allowing him to kidnap me.

I looked again at Syverson. He stared back at me, not trying to stare me down like a lot of bikers do, but as if he were trying to show me he had nothing to hide. His eyes didn’t waver as they held mine, no sign of shifty glances, no sign that he wasn’t who he appeared to be. He was either trustworthy or an extremely good actor. Not even my brother could look at me like that.

“I’ll have to go home, pack and change,” I said, waving a hand over my black dress. There was no way I could get on a bike in my tight pencil skirt and maintain any dignity. “You’ll let me do that, right?”

Nate grinned and nodded. “Hustle will drive you home in the van, Syverson will follow, get you packed and then you’ll leave tonight.”

Gritting my teeth I dipped my head to Nate. He returned the gesture and I saw again the brief look of guilt in his eyes. I glanced at Hustle, but he was already walking out the door.

I followed Hustle and Syverson through the clubhouse and got into the van, barely registering what was going on. I had too many thoughts in my mind and I was already mentally making a list of what to pack. I knew I’d have to pack light, bikes weren’t exactly ideal for hauling luggage.

I clenched my fists in frustration as Hustle drove out of the compound. Three days on a bike, plus God only knows how long I was supposed to be at the clubhouse. There was no way I’d have enough space for all the clothes and other things I would normally take like books, my laptop and my hair straightener.

I sighed heavily and looked out the window. It was already dark and I was a little hungry, but my anger and nervousness masked most of the pangs I felt in my belly.

“It's going to be okay, Babycakes,” Hustle said, confidently “The Club’s been through shit like this before and we’ve come good.”

“Back when you had Dad,” I pointed out, “He always had a cool head for situations like this.”

“Hook’s is up to it.”

“Yeah? Think he’ll lay off the coke long enough to think rationally? It was probably something dumb he did to get the Club in the shit in the first place.”

“Babycakes,” Hustle said with a warning tone in his voice.

“Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me he didn’t fuck with the wrong guy or get too greedy. Tell me exactly why I’m being shipped off?”

“You know I can’t tell you that.”

“Of course not. I’m just a fucking mushroom y’all keep in the dark and feed me shit.”

Hustle chuckled and I stared daggers at him, crossing my arms and raising my eyebrows.

“You’re cute when you get angry, Babycakes.”

“Fuck you,” I growled, but my lips twitched and I had to suppress a grin, Hustle was just too damn likeable.

I stared out the window again and saw in the side mirror that a single headlight was following us. It must be my ride.

“What do you know about him?” I tilted my head towards Syverson riding behind us. “Do you know anything about him?”

“Supposedly ex-military, but that's just a rumour. They're all supposedly ex-something, but…” Hustle shrugged.

“No one knows?”

Hustle shook his head.

“Do you know anything about the club, The Fallen Wolves Brotherhood? I’ve never heard of them.”

“Not much, except that they’re small, selective and secretive. They’ve got a good reputation, powerful despite their size, specialising in protection and a few other things.”

I nodded slowly. It didn’t make sense to me that a small nonaffiliated club from halfway across the country would take me in. Always before when I was sent away, it had been to a branch of my fathers club, or one they were heavily associated with. It must be costing Nate a fortune for the club to work with him.

“It’s bad isn’t it, Hustle?” I asked softly, feeling a small spike of fear working its way into my gut.

“Just do what they tell you to and you'll be fine, Babycakes.” Hustle laid a gentle hand on my knee and gave me a fatherly pat before putting his hand back on the wheel. “They’ll take good care of you. They’re to be trusted.”

[btsgotjams27]

this is us ~ jjk | 20

✨ title: this is us | (sequel to all grown up) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: m/18+ | minors dni ✨ genre/au: drama, romance, angst, fluff, smut | est!relationship, age gap, best friend’s brother ✨ playlist | ✨if you haven’t read the prequel to this, please do so here! :) ✨ a/n: I'm not crying, you are. if you must know, I've been dreading this chapter because it means we're one step closer to the end 😭 but I do have some things up my sleeve hehehehe and you'll find out what it is after the epilogue 💖 we've come so far and thank you everyone for coming alongside their journey. i wouldn't be here without your questions, lovely comments and reviews. i owe so much to all my readers. one last thing, thank you to @erica2283 for helping with this chapter. we all owe her a big hug. ✨ a/n 2: remember, we have our little TIU celebration as well! i hope you'll all be around for it. and as always, i'd love to hear your thoughts, keyboard smashes, anything 💖 hehe we've made it!!

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] | next ✨ epilogue ~ us

chapter 20 ~ ending credits | wc: 9.2k warnings: language, drinking, someone is preggo (can you guess who?), oc is a supportive girlfriend, jk is such a romantic and oc gets easily embarrassed, references to 10 things i hate about you and inception (ofc), grumpy grandpa yoongi, also yoongi is just the sweetest friend, jk and yoongi finally meet, do i hear some kind of bells???, jk and oc are so in love it’s satisfying to see after all this time (we’ve come so far!), and also lots of fluff cause hello there is a 💍💒⚭🎉, be prepared for all the cheesy, romantic shi--💖, they're overly gross with their use of pet names smut warnings: slight exhibitionism?, oral (m & f receiving), fingering, spitting, cum swallowing

~ 2 months since moving in together ~

Light sounds of piano and saxophone filled the air as you had been laying on this bed for an hour, moaning and groaning, and not because of Jeon Jungkook.

Your masseuse was hitting all the right spots, getting every knot and kink in your wound-up body, and for that, you'd blame your boyfie.

Hyunie and Yuna wanted a girl's day without husbands, boyfriends, kids, or distractions. And who would say no to that?

"I don't know why we don't treat ourselves out more often," you said, turning to Yuna as she sipped her wine.

"It's been too long since we've all had a self-care day," Hyunie commented. You and Yuna agreed. "Oh my gosh! Your nails are perfect!" She pointed out your neutral beige nails topped off with lavender French tips and tiny jewels perfectly placed on each nail.

You wavered your fingers, letting your new manicure sparkle and glisten in the sunlight. Pastels and neutrals were your go-to. You were too much of a chicken to step out of your comfort zone.

“I think we need to do this once a month,” Yuna said, staring at her nails, which reminded you of Tiffany’s robin-egg blue.

“You both deserve it, mamas.”

Hyunie giggled, placing a hand on her growing belly. She was still in the early stages of pregnancy. At the start of this self-care day, she texted a sonogram photo to you as you were undressing for your massage. You screamed and started crying, practically scaring your masseuse.

“What are you and Jungkook up to this weekend?” Yuna asked before swirling the pasta with her fork.

“He wants to go to this gaming convention or something. It’s being held at this big arena.” You didn’t know anything about video games. You searched the internet to see what they even did at gaming conventions.

“Boring!” Hyunie cried out.

You rubbed your temple. “He wants to go, so I’ll go to support him.”

“You’re gonna be such a good wife—” Hyunie remarked before Yuna kicked her under the table. “Ow,” she muttered. “I mean, you’re such a good sport! Supporting your man like that.”

You blinked at your friends, wondering what was up with them today. You gave them the bombastic side-eye as they were pretty giggly and tightlipped.

Hyunie laughed off her comment, trying to play it cool. “Don’t mind me and my pregnancy brain. Also, remind me to kick my husband’s butt for knocking me up! I mean, there are some nice benefits.” She looks down at her chest. “But everything hurts already.”

“Welcome to the pregnant life, my friend,” Yuna jokes.

You chuckled. “I can’t believe Kim Taehyung is gonna be a dad.”

“Right? No, but I think he will be a good dad.” Hyunie hummed softly, rubbing her belly.

“He’ll be great, and I’m sure he can always ask Namjoon questions,” you said.

“Namjoon still doesn’t know what he’s doing half the time–actually, both of us,” Yuna laughed. “But that’s just parenting 101. There’s no guidebook or anything; you just google everything and hope your kid doesn’t turn out to be a turd.”

“Yuna—” You rolled your eyes.

“What? I’m not saying Indie will be, but I just want my kid to be a good human.”

“Well, you’re doing a great job raising your little human,” you say to Yuna, then turn to Hyunie. “You and Taehyung are going to do great, too. You have us if you need anything.”

You gripped Jungkook’s hand as he led you through the sea of people. The commotion of excited fans buzzed in the arena. Booth after booth of fan-made merch, the newest games, and sponsored goods were lined up like a maze. Your eyes wandered, scanning to see if anything interesting caught your eye.

Jungkook was in deep conversation with an old colleague from Netmarble, who was working on a new game set to be released. Your lips turned into a pout, and you turned around to see what could keep you busy as you let Jungkook do his thing.

“So, you’re telling me that this virtual reality game is like Inception? The movie?” You narrowed your eyes at the young man trying to sell you on this new game. Anything could be turned into a game, you supposed.

“The possibilities are endless,” he shrugged, continuing to go in-depth with this game.

You had been in conversation with this young man for twenty minutes and turned to find your boyfriend had disappeared. You sighed, “Great.” How were you supposed to find him now?

Checking your phone, which only had 5% left, you knew you should’ve grabbed the portable charger. Maybe you could somehow find Jungkook in this sea of fanboys.

A sudden screeching, humming noise made everyone grimace, covering their ears. The sound of someone thumping a microphone, followed by an ‘ah, ah, ah,’ went through the speakers.

“Everyone, we have an extraordinary presentation today. Would you please turn your attention to the screen?”

The lights dimmed, the crowd quieted, and everyone’s eyes were focused on the illuminated screen.

“You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you.”

You froze, your heart thumping, and your stomach fluttered at the angelic voice. Hearing the song made you weak in the knees, wanting to crumble down to the ground. This scene from 10 Things I Hate About You was your second favorite to Kat’s monologue.

Jungkook is shown on the screen. He has a mic in hand and a grin plastered on his face. He’s putting everything into this little performance like it’s one of his late-night karaoke sessions, except this time, he was performing in front of thousands of people and a live broadcast instead of just you and Bamie.

“You’d be like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much.”

The screen splits in half, and now your face is also shown in front of thousands of people; then you notice the space around you, along with the camera pointed directly at you.

You didn’t think Jeon Jungkook was one for grand gestures, but maybe you were wrong. Suppressing your smile, you closed your eyes and hid your face in your hands.

He continued singing, making his way over to you. The grin he’s sporting never leaves as he finally stands before you.

All eyes are on you and him.

You leaned forward and whispered, “What are you doing?”

Jungkook sets the mic beside you, and the music dies down. He wiggled his eyebrows, pulling out a blue velvet box.

He got down on one knee, staring up at you. “It is an honor and a privilege to love you, and I want to love you every day till I die. I can't promise there won't be difficult moments, but I wouldn't want to go through life with anybody except you.”

You sucked in your lips and licked them to keep your excitement at bay.

“If you allow me to, I want to choose you every second, every minute, and every hour. I’ll show you what devotion is and how it’s deeper than the ocean.”

Your eyes twinkled as you lovingly stared at your romantic boyfriend. “Yes–” you interrupted him, furiously nodding your head.

He knitted his eyebrows and pouted. “You didn’t let me finish.”

“Don’t need you to–”

He opened his mouth and closed it again. “Just–let me ask you,” he whined.

You huffed, giving him a deadpan expression. You figured he would only get to do this once in a lifetime. Maybe you shouldn’t take away his thunder.

Jungkook took the oval Alexandrite ring from its box. He rose to his feet. “Will you marry me?”

At this moment, you needed someone to pinch you and wake you up from this dream. Could this be a virtual reality like the Inception game from earlier? Would your totem fall over or keep spinning?

“Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!” You cupped his face, eagerly kissing him, forgetting about the thousands of people watching you.

His bunny smile and dimple are on display for the world to see, and his starry eyes shined brighter than the gem on your finger. It’s the happiest you’ve ever seen him.

Cheers and screams echoed throughout the arena as you kissed him again. Your lips entwined, his hands threaded through your hair, pulling you as close as he could. The smell of his cherry chapstick filled your nostrils, becoming intoxicating.

Jungkook pulled away, peppering kisses on your face as you let out soft chuckles. “I can’t wait to spend forever with you.”

The first person you texted was none other than Min Yoongi. Since Hyunie and Yuna were in on the whole ‘pamper/self-care day,’ they already knew what was happening. Hence the secrecy throughout the day.

You 10:27 PM [ image attached of engagement ring ]

Grumpy Grandpa 10:30 PM 👍

You 10:31 PM That’s it? All I get is a thumbs up.

He knew how much you despised the thumbs-up emoji, but he told you it was the highest compliment anyone could ever get from him.

Grumpy Grandpa 10:35 PM 🎉

You 10:36 PM 😑

Grumpy Grandpa 10:40 PM Okay fine. 👍👍👍👍👍👍 Happy?

You 10:41 PM 😐 I guess

You 10:45 PM Anyway, will you come to our engagement party?

Grumpy Grandpa 10:50 PM You’re already getting married. Why spend more money on an engagement party?

You huffed and clenched your jaw as you sat in bed, staring at his message.

You 10:52 PM Because we’re in love and need to celebrate it a million times over and over until everyone is sick of us. 🥰💖🥰💖🥰💖

Grumpy Grandpa 10:54 PM I think I'd rather die a slow death…

You didn’t bother to text anything back. Instead, you tucked your phone underneath your pillow as Jungkook crawled into bed. You inched toward him, your back against his chest. He draped his arm around you, kissing your head.

“Hi, soon-to-be-wifey,” he chuckled, pressing himself into you.

“Hi, soon-to-be-hubby.” You wiggled back toward him.

“Who were you texting?”

“I was texting Yoongi to see if he’d come to our engagement party.”

“What’d he say?”

“That he’d rather die a slow death.”

Jungkook laughed, kissing your shoulder. “Oof–I like him.”

You turned around to face Jungkook. “You’d be okay, right? If Yoongi came to our party?”

His lips thinned, and his brows drew together. “Yeah, of course. He’s your friend. If you want him there, then I want him there.”

You hummed. “I love you.”

“Love you more.”

If there was one person you wanted Jungkook to meet, it was Yoongi. Honestly, you’d miss the banter and bickering relationship between you. But maybe Yoongi would be willing to accept Jungkook and possibly become friends. One could hope, right?

You 9:01 AM I don’t know if you planned to come, but we had to cancel the engagement party.

Grumpy Grandpa 9:15 AM Damn, he doesn’t wanna marry you already? I get it, though. I wouldn’t wanna marry you either.

You 9:16 AM 👊👊 Min Yoongi, I’m gonna pummel you!

You 9:17 AM If you must know, the place we wanted was overbooked, so we’re gonna cancel and save money for the wedding.

You don’t hear from Yoongi for another hour or so. He must be busy with an upcoming film or something.

Grumpy Grandpa 10:02 AM Don’t say I’ve never done anything for you.

You 10:36 AM 🤨

Grumpy Grandpa 10:55 AM My friend has a place you can use for your engagement party if you want.

You 10:56 AM You don't have to do that.

Grumpy Grandpa 10:57 AM The offer is expiring in 3…..2….

You 10:57 AM Ok! Ok! Where's the place?

Strolling through the home, you wonder what you did in your past life to have a friend like Min Yoongi. You crept through every corner of the house but couldn’t find him.

There was one last place you hadn’t checked: the terrace. Making your way through the kitchen, you saw him standing outside. The view was incredible, overlooking the ocean. This place was a few ways away but worth the drive.

The corners of your lips curved into a smile as you closed the sliding door behind you. You observed the grumpy grandpa in a fuzzy yellow cardigan looking at the scenery before you.

“Hey.” You stood, nudging his arm.

He turned and hummed, acknowledging your presence.

“Thanks for letting us use this place. It’s amazing. Better than anything I imagined.”

“It’s my friend’s place,” he quickly corrected you, sipping his iced coffee.

You leaned against the glass, looking at him, nudging him again. “Can you just accept my gratitude?” you pouted, sporting your best puppy eyes.

“Fine. You’re welcome.”

You giggled because you got your way. “Come on, I want you to meet Jungkook.”

He grunted, not moving an inch.

Tugging on his yellow sweater a few times made him give in. “Let’s go, grumpy.”

Jungkook and Taehyung were busy bringing decor and food in, and Yoongi had somehow disappeared from the terrace to the kitchen. You blame being the bride-to-be because everyone needs your input on where to place everything.

“You okay?” Jungkook asked, scanning your face.

You hummed, nodding your head, and broke out into a warm smile. “I’m good. Better than good, great actually.”

He raised his eyebrow, sporting a thin smile. “Okay,” his tone is hesitant, but he trusts you. “I’m gonna help Taehyung finish bringing everything in; then we can start the party, hmm?” He kissed your cheek before running off.

An arm wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you in for a hug. You turned to see a friend from your most recent TV show.

“Hi, Minji.”

She squealed, pulling you into a tighter embrace. “I can’t believe you’re getting married!”

You beamed a grin from ear to ear, enjoying the buzzing excitement. You watched as Yoongi appeared from one of the bedrooms, strolling toward the terrace again. You’d have to grab him to introduce him and Jungkook when you could.

“Let me see the ring,” Minji said, holding her hand for yours. “Oh my god. This is such a pretty gemstone. Does it change colors?” The ring sparkled and gleamed with every twist and turn. 

“Sometimes it can be a deep green to blue, sometimes even purple or a deep red depending on the lighting and angle,” you explained. It was one of the reasons why you preferred this stone over a diamond.

When you were looking through rings, you told Jungkook that if your wedding/engagement ring didn’t look like he went through a crazy journey and a cursed lake to get it, then you didn’t want it. It is a bit dramatic, but you wanted your ring to be special and unique.

“It’s so pretty and, honestly, so perfect for you.” She hugged you again. “When’s the wedding?”

“Soon—in a month or so.”

Minji’s eyes widened.

“Yeah—don’t ask me how wedding planning is going,” you let out a light-hearted laugh.

You and Jungkook didn’t see the point in waiting. You loved each other and couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your lives together. Plus, neither of you wanted a big wedding. You just wanted to celebrate with family and friends.

Throughout the night’s festivities, Yoongi opted for something stronger, a classic glass of whiskey, to be exact. He sipped on the drink with a hand in his pocket, watching the sky become painted with hues of coral and lavender. This was one of his favorite spots in this house.

“Hey, man.”

Yoongi turned to see the groom-to-be. He nodded, sporting a thin smile, before taking another sip of his whiskey.

“I’m Jungkook, by the way. I’ve heard a lot about you,” he said, holding his hand.

Yoongi suppressed a smile. He thought it was funny how you’d spoken about him to your soon-to-be husband. “So, you’re the famous Jungkook, hm?” Yoongi switched the glass to his other hand to shake Jungkook’s.

He shies away from Yoongi’s comment. “Ah, I hope she didn’t bore you too much talking about me.”

Yoongi softly chuckled and wanted to respond but held his tongue. He’d be a good friend and keep your pain a secret.

Jungkook cleared his throat. “But I just wanted to say thank you.”

“For?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Letting us use this place. It means a lot to the both of us,” Jungkook paused, stuffing his hands in his pants pocket as he looked off into the horizon. “And thank you for being there for her in a way I couldn’t.”

He knew how important Yoongi had become in your journey when you and him weren’t together. And if Yoongi weren’t there to support you, maybe you and him wouldn’t be together right now. He wished there was a better way to show his gratitude.

“I didn't really do anything. I just listened to her ramble, watched her cry, eat, and drink a lot.”

Jungkook softly chuckled. “You did more for her than you think. Thanks again.” He held his hand out for Yoongi to shake once more. Yoongi stared for a moment before reciprocating.

Yoongi couldn't hate the guy you were about to marry despite the pain Jungkook had caused you. He was nice, handsome, and had a stupid death grip. Could probably beat him up. He even surprised Yoongi by taking the initiative to introduce himself first. Well, if that wasn’t the mark of a man who truly loved you.

He watched Jungkook walk over to you, hugging you from behind and kissing your shoulder. You wrapped your arm up to his neck, turning to kiss his cheek. You were happy, and that’s all Yoongi wanted for you.

The guests begin to dwindle, and you have some room to breathe. And you make it a point to talk to Yoongi before you leave. You felt like you hardly saw him the entire night. He was doing his own thing. Was he always like this in a social setting? You guessed you hadn’t seen him much outside of hanging out with Hyunie and Taehyung.

“Are you ready to go?”Jungkook asked.

“You go ahead. I’m just going to find Yoongi and thank him again. Is that okay?”

He nods. “Yeah, of course. I’ll be in the car.” He kisses you before leaving.

You wandered throughout the house, peering through each room. Yoongi was sitting in a darkened room, sipping on what you assumed was another glass of whiskey.

Standing in the threshold, you knock on the frame, getting his attention. “Hey, stranger. You’re not much of a party-goer, are you?” You chuckled, taking a few steps forward.

Both hands are holding his glass while he’s leaning forward in his chair. “Are you guys heading out?”

“Yeah, just packing everything up.”

He hummed. “Have a good night.”

You don’t move from your spot. Your hands are entwined, thumbs twiddling with one another.

Yoongi knits his eyebrows. “Everything okay?”

You flash a small smile. “Thanks for letting us use your place tonight.” Yoongi perked up. “You know how I knew?” You pointed at the cat figurines on the bookshelves and the desk. “You had the same ones in Phuket.”

He made a disgruntled noise, scanning the room at his little porcelain collectibles.

You chuckled. “You don’t have to lie to me, Yoongi, saying it was someone else’s place, but thank you again. You’re a good friend.”

Yoongi has always been the supportive one. He was there for you when you were at your lowest of lows, and you’d be forever grateful. And even if he would never outright announce to the world all the things he’s done, he cared for you in such a delicate, subtle way that was completely different from everyone else.

“You ready to go home?” Jungkook brought your palm up to his lips, pressing a kiss against it.

You hummed and smiled. “Home. I like the sound of that.”

~ one month later ~ ~ a week before the wedding ~

Bam sat at your feet while you were finalizing the seating chart. Jungkook passed out on the couch, lightly snoring away. He had been staying late because of all the late-night karaoke and cooking sessions.

You 11:56 AM Hey, I’m going through RSVPs, and I haven’t gotten yours. Can you let me know if you’re coming to the wedding?

You don’t hear a response from Yoongi for the rest of the day until a phone call comes in after dinner.

Grumpy Grandpa Incoming Call

“Hey.”

Hey, sorry, I just saw your text. My new film is shooting the next day after your wedding, so I might have to leave early depending on what flight I can book. But yeah, count me in.

“Okay, awesome. Are you bringing a plus one?”

He scoffed. “Yeah, no.”

“Okay, I’ll sit next to Taehyung and Hyunie so you won’t feel lonely or awkward.”

“‘Kay, sounds good. I’ll see you then.”

Jungkook walked in with Bam after their nightly stroll around the neighborhood as you checked off that Yoongi was coming on your planning app.

Bam wandered over to the pen, drinking water from his bowl, and Jungkook greeted you with a kiss.

“Whatcha doing?” He plopped right beside you, laying his head on your lap.

You card your fingers through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp. “I was just talking to Yoongi. He was confirming that he’s coming to the wedding.”

“He’s a cool guy. I like him.”

Flashing a small smile, you continued running your fingers through his hair. “Yeah, he is.”

“He didn’t say much when we were at his place, but he just seems like the type of guy who quietly cares for his friends.”

You chuckled because that encompassed everything Min Yoongi was as a friend.

“He seems very open-minded and knowledgeable, probably about the most random things.”

“Have you been studying him or something?” you asked, continuing to play with his hair.

“No, I just—want him to like me.”

You chuckled at his comment. “You’re cute.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes, pinching your arm. He sat up, shoulder to shoulder with you, nudging you.

“Yes?”

“I know we said we wouldn’t get any gifts for each other, but I couldn’t resist.”

You turn to him, narrowing your eyes. “Kook—”

“I know!” He lowers his head. “So, do you want it now or later?”

You closed your eyes, holding out your hands.

“Okay, okay! Hold on!”

Jungkook sprinted toward the bedroom, holding a box when he returned. Bam was passed out on his blanket, not caring what his parents were up to. 

He placed the box in your hands. “Open your eyes.”

You peek with one eye, and it’s a beautifully wrapped gift. It reminded you of the one that Hyunie wrapped your boudoir album in. Jungkook watches as you shake it from side to side.

“I’ll just—leave you alone.”

You purse your lips, raising an eyebrow at your soon-to-be-husband. He kisses you before leaving you alone with the gift.

You undo the twine and carefully remove the kraft paper. Lifting the top cover, there’s a photo album identical to the boudoir one you have.

Did Jeon Jungkook take risque photos for you?

Carefully, you take the album out, moving the box beside you. Your fingers ghost over the front cover before having the courage to open it.

The noise you made awoken Bam, but he ignored you and went back to sleep. You raced to the bedroom, shutting the door behind you.

“What is this?” you questioned, blinking at Jungkook. You held the album open to him, dressed in a tight white tee and leather pants. He looked like a 90s heartthrob, and you were scared to look through the rest, but you may have seen him shirtless in a blazer and jeans.

“You don’t like your present?”

You shook your head. “No, I didn’t say that.”

Jungkook giggled. He propped his arms on the bed, legs spread, a cocky smirk on display.

“Are you trying to seduce me?”

He showed off his pearly whites and wiggled his eyebrows. “Is it working?”

You wandered over between his legs and nodded. “Yes.”

You wondered how it was your wedding, and you were still running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Hyunie and Yuna helped when they could, and you even recruited Minji to be your day-of coordinator so that you wouldn’t have to make all these decisions on your wedding day.

But after a hectic day, you were glad to finally rest and lay your head on the comfy pillow and fluffy duvet. The bed you laid in bore too many memories of you and Jungkook—the two of you getting high, being horny as fuck, and him getting it in the wrong hole. This cabin held many fun memories, and you were excited to add more.

You tugged on the string lamp, turning off the light. Digging deeper into the bed and pillow, you breathed a sigh of relief, ready to go to dreamland.

Just as you were drifting off, a buzzing from your phone awakened you, and when you lifted it to see who it could be—it was none other than your soon-to-be-husband.

You answered the video call but didn’t care to turn on the lights because he broke the rules you had placed for the wedding.

“Kook, what are you doing? You’re not supposed to be calling.”

He’s not wearing a shirt through the screen as the fluffy, white duvet covers him. “Says who?” His elbow props up his head while he’s staring at you.

“Says tradition.”

“Who cares about tradition—Come on, baby,” he pouts, causing a frown and puppy eyes.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. It’s just for one night.”

“Let me talk to my girlfriend before she becomes my wife,” he pouted.

You chuckled. “It’s just a title.”

Jungkook’s offended and scoffs. “Oh, it’s so much more than just a title.”

“You’re going to call me your wife instead of your girlfriend. No big deal.”

“It’s a big deal, alright! I’m honored to be your husband.”

You rolled over on your stomach, propping the phone against the pillow. “Okay, hubby,” you cleared your throat. “Everyone—this is my husband.” You giggled. “You’re right. It has a nice ring to it.”

“See! What did I tell you?”

The both of you quiet down.

“We’ve come a long way, hmm?”

“Yeah, and you’re worth every single step.”

Rolling onto your back, you pick up the phone, then dramatically fan yourself. “Kook, save some words for your vows tomorrow.”

“I have a never-ending list of things I could say.”

“Are you just a boy filled with pure fluff and love?”

He shies away, covering his face with the duvet. “Why, yes, I am.”

You chuckled, furrowing your head further into your pillow. “It’s late, and we have an early day tomorrow. We’re getting married, remember?”

“How could I forget? I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, hubby.”

“Night, wifey.”

The hustle of decorating the cabin was finished the night before, and with Minji, Jimin, and his girlfriend’s help, everything was coming together. The only thing you had on your agenda today was getting married to the love of your life.

Your hair and makeup were in full swing as your makeup artist put the finishing touches on lipstick. You didn’t want anything too glam. Simple and minimal was your mantra for this joyous occasion.

Soft clicks from a camera could be heard from behind as Yuna helped tie your silk top. You and Jungkook opted to capture the wedding on film and digital. It would give it a nice touch of vintage vibes.

Hyunie whistled as she got a close-up of Yuna tying your top. “Wait until Jungkook sees you in this!”

“Stop–it’s just a dress.”

Hyunie shook her head no. “It’s not just any dress. It’s your wedding dress. Trust me. It hits differently.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “And it’s a two-piece, so whenever you wear these pieces separately, you’ll always have some wedding feels.”

You looked at yourself in the mirror, smoothing your silk skirt with the thigh-high slit. You wanted to be practical with your wedding dress. You didn’t want it wasting away in the back of the closet, never to be worn again, so you opted for classic pieces that you can wear again.

Yuna sets the veil’s comb into your hair, letting the tulle drape down. She stood beside you, tilting her head with a smile beaming from ear to ear. She took your hand, making you look at her. “Hey, sis.”

“God—Yuna. Don’t make me cry right now! We just finished my makeup.” The back of your neck began to warm up, and you could feel the tears forming behind your eyes. You fanned yourself, hoping it would stop them from falling.

“I can’t believe this day is finally here.” She dabbed the corner of her eyes, gently wiping away her mascara. “Okay—I need to go check on Indie. Make sure she’s all set. I’ll see you two later.” Yuna tightly embraced you before leaving.

Hyunie takes your hand. “Are you ready, my beautiful bride?”

You faced outward to the breathtaking landscape. The sun is shining, warming up your exposed skin. Closing your eyes, you inhale a deep breath, not taking this moment for granted. You want to savor it, keep it locked up to revisit.

Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook had been watching you from afar, enjoying this moment. Like you, he wishes he could put the world on pause so it could just be the two of you—a point in time where nothing else mattered but you and him.

Jungkook takes his time and chuckles when he sees you tired of standing, waiting for him.

He approaches, wrapping his arms around your waist, removing your veil to kiss your shoulder. He whispers a ‘hi,’ rocking you from side to side.

You leaned back, pressing into him. “Hi,” you repeat as Jungkook kisses your temple.

His kiss sends chills throughout your body. You close your eyes again, and your relationship with Jungkook flashes before you. An overwhelming sensation overtakes every fiber of your being. Your home wasn’t just four walls and a fridge. Instead, it was four limbs and lips to kiss. Jungkook was your home.

“Can we just stay like this for a little while?” He squeezed you tighter. “Before all the chaos?”

You giggled and hummed, turning around to kiss him. “I love you so much.”

It felt like an eternity to finally be standing before him, but the two of you made it–nothing was standing in your way, save for Namjoon, who was performing the ceremony.

Everyone had their turn down the aisle: Yuna walking with Jimin and Taehyung, and even Bam and Indie made the crowd laugh as the flower girl and ring bearer. Bam kept trying to eat the petals as Indie threw them. Yuna had to entice Indie with chocolates as she stood at the end of the aisle.

You were patiently waiting inside, your arm linked with Jin.

“This is your last chance to run,” he teases as you nudge your hip into his.

“I didn’t go through hell and back not to marry Jeon Jungkook.”

Jin chuckles. “Well, come on. Your groom is waiting.”

The acoustic guitar starts playing, ‘Everything’ by Kina Grannis through the speakers. Everyone turns toward you, watching as you descend the aisle with Jin. Camera clicks are heard in front of you as Hyunie snaps away.

You’re donning a silk two-piece, an open-back top with a tie, and a skirt with a thigh-high split. You opted for a dried flower bouquet of lavender and baby’s breath, and Jungkook had a matching boutonniere.

Your eyes focus on none other than Jungkook. He looks dashing in his classic suit. His soft curls frame his pretty face, and his hands are folded as he patiently waits for you. The corner of his mouth curved up into a grin. He shyly looks to the ground before flicking back up, dimple and bunny smile on display.

When you reach the end, Jin hugs you and whispers, ‘Go get ‘em, tiger.’ You chuckle and turn to Yuna, handing her your bouquet. Jungkook takes your hands, and you stand facing each other in front of Namjoon.

It’s like you have tunnel vision; no one else matters but you and him. You can see Jungkook’s eyes glistening as Namjoon continues his wedding script. Jungkook squeezed your hand a few times before you realized Namjoon was talking to you.

All eyes were on the two of you, ready to exchange vows.

You turn to Yuna to retrieve the vows you had prepared. “I was not expecting you. I was not even looking, but somehow, you came to me as if you knew what I needed. I used to believe that finding someone who would love me would be difficult. I know I’m not the easiest person to love. I’m an over-thinker and don’t convey my wants and needs well, but I’ve found someone who thinks they can take on the challenge.”

There’s light laughter among the guests. Jungkook grins, looking at the ground before flicking back to you.

“There may be times when I’m insecure and spiral into the abyss, but if you’re by my side, I know you’ll always be in my corner, fighting with me and helping me every step of the way.” 

You paused and flashed a soft smile, trying to hide your tears. “Jeon Jungkook, you are my dream come true, my world, the joy in my heart. Thank you for loving and accepting me for who I am, my flaws and all.”

You stopped again to dab the tears falling from the corner of your eyes. “And I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life falling in love with you over and over again.”

A stillness remains after you finish your vows. Your eyes quickly glance at the crowd. There are smiles and tears of joy among them.

Namjoon takes the microphone from you, handing it over to Jungkook. He sniffles before clearing his throat and grabbing a piece of paper from his jacket pocket.

He unfolds it in his hands, and you can’t help but notice a slight tremble. “It’s easy for me to love you, which scares me. I’ve never wanted anything so much as I want to hold you every waking minute and every night while I sleep. The question I used to ask myself was ‘How do I love you?’ and now it has become ‘How do I ever stop?’”

“I’ll choose you again and again from start to finish. I’ll choose you when my heart is full, and I’ll choose you even when the days are hard. Maybe I’ve already loved you in a million different ways and through different timelines, but I’m so glad that we’re here now, and I get to love you in this lifetime.”

“There are no more what ifs, what could have been. It’s just you and me saying yes to each other forever. We deserve our happy ending.”

Jungkook looks up to see you holding a tissue, patting your cheeks from the tears. He sees past you and Yuna, also in tears. He lightly chuckles to himself.

The two of you have gone through enough, and Jungkook was right. You didn’t have to live with the what-ifs and the what could have been. This timeline brought you back to him. You could think of many things that could’ve happened—you not taking that meeting in LA, being unable to pick yourself back up, you and Jungkook not breaking up and trying to make it work. But ultimately, you knew you needed to grow, mature, and figure things out before you could be standing here today saying, ‘I do.’

Namjoon proceeds through the rest of his ceremony script by exchanging the rings and, finally, the last thing on the agenda.

“Jungkook, you may kiss the bride,” Namjoon announces.

Jungkook takes a few steps forward, cupping your face and staring into your eyes. “Finally.” He leans forward, closing his eyes. His lips find yours like a magnet.

Cheers from family and friends are boisterous, along with the music that cues up as the two of you are ready to walk down the aisle.

You stand with Jungkook hand in hand. He looks over to you and kisses you again. He lifts your arm, shaking it, yelling a ‘yes’ as the crowd cheers again.

Minji ushered you and Jungkook to a private bedroom, telling the two of you to eat before the reception festivities. But, of course, Jungkook had other plans.

He locked the door and eagerly pressed you against the wall, making you yelp. “Five minutes, that’s all I need.”

“You’re pretty confident, hmm?”

"I can't let this moment go to waste."

"Kook," you whine into his mouth. "Someone's gonna come looking for us."

"Good. I'll tell them we're coming," he grins before kissing you again.

Your hands are flushed against his chest as he trails kisses along your jawline and neck. His hand on the small of your back, pressing you into his growing bulge.

Your fingers tug on his jacket lapels. You're tempted to take off his blazer, but you're in the middle of your wedding celebration. You couldn't get carried away.

He kisses back up your neck, finding your lips again. Shifting your skirt to the side, his hand finds warmth between your legs. He palms against your clit, rubbing circles. He catches your moans with his kisses.

"We can't be so loud, baby."

You unbuckle his belt and pop the button on his dress pants, undoing his zipper. You cup your hand around his hard, clothed erection, stroking him. He gently grabs your hand, making you withdraw from him.

"You first."

He moves your panties to the side, his finger sliding between your folds, spreading your arousal.

"Are you ready for me?"

You loll your head back, jaw slack, making some kind of noise in agreement. He inserts a finger, his palm pressed on your clit again. He starts pumping in and out before adding a second finger. Your walls clench around him when he speeds up.

He squeezes your breast, then pinches your nipple. You're already crumbling, and it's been mere minutes, but your desire for him started long before this.

Jungkook drops to his knees. He gathers your skirt for you to hold. He pulls down your panties, making you step out of them. He flings it off to the side before relishing in you again. He attaches his mouth to your clit, licking and sucking, tugging your legs closer to him. He hurries down further, trying to get to your entrance.

Your hands thread through his hair as he reinserts his fingers. He looks up at you, eyebrows knitted, a stray hair falling as you bite down on your lip, holding in whimpers. Saliva is running down his chin as he continues lapping, trying his best to consume all of you. He pulls away, kissing your clit, nudging his nose into it. At the same time, he's curling his fingers, hitting the sweet spot. He lifts your leg onto his shoulder so he can get better access. He kisses your thigh before attaching his lips to clit again.

You're aching for a sweet release. Your heart is racing, and the fear of someone coming to look for you heightens, and you start rolling your hips, desperate to reach your climax.

"Mm, right here, Kook. Just like that."

His eyes meet yours, and he smiles, knowing he could make you cum quickly. He continues lapping and flicking, finger fucking you. The sensation is too much to handle, and you need to stabilize yourself. He sets your leg down, and his hand grabs the flesh of your ass.

Your skin heats up, hands curl tighter into his hair, the building pleasure causes your legs to shake, and your thighs are closing in on Jungkook. You're biting down on your lip, holding back the moan, desperately trying to escape. You're losing all composure when the tension finally snaps, and you reach your release.

He doesn't let go when you cum. He continues to overstimulate you until you have to push him away. You lean down to kiss him, your slick lingers all over him, and you have to clean him up before he goes back out.

"Fuck–you're so sexy," he says between kisses.

"Your turn."

Jungkook hums. "I'm not gonna last long."

"Then it'll be just like our first time again," you tease, remembering when you sucked him off on your couch.

"Baby–do you have to bring that up right now?"

You giggled and let go of your skirt, reaching to put your panties back on. You nodded, smirking at him. "You can never last long when you’re excited."

"Baby," he whines, letting out a huff.

You kiss him. "I love making you feel that way."

You play with the elastic on his underwear, tugging them down. Jungkook watches as you grin and grip his cock. It involuntarily twitches in your grasp. You have no time to waste. People are waiting for you both.

Kneeling before him, you wrap your hand around his shaft, pumping and twisting his length. Your thumb rubs the pre-cum dripping from him, and then he lets out a sharp hiss when you flick your tongue at his tip. Spitting on his cock, you spread your saliva up and down his shaft with both hands, stroking him.

You peer up at him, and his eyes never leave yours. He’s captivated by this pretty view. You take him in your mouth, swirling your tongue, moaning against him. Laying your tongue flat, it runs along the underside of his cock, following the prominent vein. Your lips are slick and swollen, trying to take more of him in.

“You’re doing so good, baby,” Jungkook bites his lip, gently thrusting forward.

Your lips part around his cock, only taking in the head. Your hand wraps the rest of his shaft, stroking him, and your free hand gently plays with his balls.

A breath is hitched in Jungkook’s throat, his eyes half-lidded, almost rolling back when you take him in inch by inch until your nose is pushed into him. 

There’s a knock on the door, and someone tries to open it. “Hey, are you guys almost finished eating?” Minji asked through the door.

The two of you look toward the door. You’re busy gagging on Jungkook’s dick, and he answers, “We’ll be right there.”

You return to sucking and stroking, more frantic than before.

“Fuck,” Jungkook curses a few more times, bucking into you. He cups your face, making you look at him. “Where do you want me to come?”

You quickly pop off, “Mouth.”

He visibly gulps, his cheeks burning at the thought of you swallowing his cum during your wedding. The muscles in his abdomen tighten, the building pleasure ready to explode. Lightning ripples through him, sending shockwaves throughout his body as he finally cums in your mouth. Jungkook groans when you continue to milk him for all he’s worth. The sweat forming on his head trickles down his face.

You wipe off the trailing saliva and swallow his cum. As you fix your skirt and top, Jungkook stuffs himself back in his underwear and pants. The two of you look at each other, smiling like idiots.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” you said, inching closer to kiss him.

Jungkook smirked, wrapping his arms around you. “I can.”

You cleared your throat. “We should scarf down our food and return to our wedding, hmm?”

Wedding festivities were in full swing—smiles, laughter, and chattering filled the outdoor patio. Delicious food in your bellies and mixed drinks coursing through your veins.

Jin walked to the area where the band was playing, his fingers tinkering on the glass to get everyone’s attention.

“Why, hello, beautiful people—and by beautiful people, I mean me.”

You and Jungkook make a face at each other.

“I’m kidding! Everyone here is dressed to impress, and ladies, if any of you is single, come find me afterward.” He looks at Jungkook, and he’s glaring back at his friend.

Jin clears his throat, “Anyway, I’ve seen the highs and lows of your relationship, and I’m honored to be standing here, witnessing how love can withstand so much as long as two people continue to fight for and fiercely love one another. I promise I’ll always be there to support the two of you as best as possible. And remember me when you need a god-parent for your kids.”

You and Jungkook look at each other, shaking your head.

Jin holds up his glass, proposing a toast. “To the bride and groom, may you continue to show us what true love is.”

Everyone raises their glasses, saying “Cheers,” clinking their glasses with one another at their tables.

Yuna stands, walks to Jin, and retrieves the microphone from him. “Hello, everyone. I’m Yuna, the bride's best friend and the groom's big sister. I’m sure some of you are wondering if I was okay with their relationship, and at first, it came as a shock, but as their relationship progressed, I realized how pure their love was for each other. They’ve even taught me a thing or two about love, and if you’ve seen them from the start until now, you’ll see how far they’ve come, and I can’t wait to see what their future holds. I love you both so much.”

Jungkook nudges you, handing you another tissue. Even though this relationship was hard for Yuna to accept, you’re glad she never gave up on you, on Jungkook. If she never trusted the two of you and cheered you on, it would’ve been another relationship you’d have to grieve. But you’re so glad it worked out.

Jin returns, speaking into the mic, “Now—there’s been enough crying for the night. It’s time for the first dance of the bride and groom.

Jungkook stands, holding out his hand for you. He leads you to the dance floor; you let the train of your skirt drape behind you. The piano intro of the chosen song comes on. His hand sits on the small of your back, pressing you closer to him, his other hand holding yours. You press your cheek against his, close your eyes, and breathe everything in—you and him now.

You love holding his hand. The softness of his fingers electrifies every nerve in your body. You love listening to him breathe; it’s a calm reminder for you to slow things down. You love the warmth radiating off his body and onto yours. You love looking into his starry doe eyes and feeling like everything will be okay.

Entwined, all that we are is defined By each others shipwrecked hearts and I Shiver to think what would have been if I wouldn’t have seen you in time Would we pass by?

“I love you,” Jungkook whispers, kissing your cheek.

A warm smile eases onto your face. “How long will you keep telling me that, hmm?”

He gazes into your eyes. “Forever and ever.”

You giggle. “I like the sound of that.”

Like parachutes and air balloons Or satellites and lonely moons We’d still be drifting far apart But thank the stars we are entwined

The two of you continue to sway to the song until it ends, and the next song comes on, and you just know that Kim Taehyung requested it. The full-on blaring horns and cymbal percussion filled the speakers on blast.

Yes (whoo, ow) It's so crazy right now Most incredibly, it's ya girl, B (yes) It's ya boy, Young You ready?

And the first person on the dance floor, dragging Park Jimin to the floor? None other than Kim Taehyung. 

You and Jungkook look at each other, bursting out into laughter. He had pre-gamed before the wedding even started.

“You wanna sit this one out?” Jungkook asked, raising his eyebrows, and you nodded, letting the rest of the crowd have a turn enjoying the reception.

You’re mingling through the tables and greeting friends. Jungkook has Indie in his arms; she’s giggling and squealing at the top of her lungs as she twirls around, and Bam circles and barks at the two. You love watching Jungkook with Indie, and it makes you wonder if you’ll get to have that with Jungkook one day. You’re hopeful and believing for the best.

Namjoon, Jin, Taehyung, and Jimin all take turns whisking you away from your mingling to dance with you. Throughout the night, you’ve been preoccupied with guests, and then you see the one person who hadn’t greeted you and Jungkook yet.

You walk over to Min Yoongi, who’s in a black suit and tucked in a white tee. This is the most you’ve ever seen him dressed up. He’s kept his hair long but put in some effort to style it.

Like clockwork, there’s a glass of alcohol in his hands. He’s looking elsewhere when he notices you. He’s focused on your eyes; then you see him explore your face and flash a gentle smile.

You hold out your hand. “May I have this dance?”

“I don’t dance,” he grumbles.

“Oh, you’re such a liar! I’ve seen you dance.”

“Yeah—when I’m drunk and I’m not drunk enough yet,” he whines.

“Come on. It’s my wedding day. You can’t say no to me.”

He blinks. “No.”

You roll your eyes and drag him by the hand. He leaves his glass on the table, fumbling after you.

“Just one dance, and then you’ll be a free man.”

Yoongi groans as he stands before you. Your hands are on his shoulders, and his hands are on your waist, and you’re both at a respectable distance from one another.

“See, it’s not that bad, is it?”

“It’s horrible actually. Think I’m allergic to dancing,” he teases.

“Shut up, stupid.”

“You shut up,” he spits back.

“You can’t tell me to shut up. I’m the bride.”

“Have you been using that excuse all day?” He narrows his eyes at you.

You show off a cheeky smile. “Yep!”

Yoongi shakes his head, and he beams his gummy-toothed smile.

“Did I get a smile out of Min Yoongi?” You gasp dramatically.

“Consider it your wedding gift.”

You roll your eyes again, and you smack him on the shoulder.

“Yah—” he frowns. “I was going to give you your actual wedding gift, but I’m taking it back now.”

“What?” Your eyes widen. “No, no, no! What is it?”

Yoongi steps back, reaching for something in his pocket. He pulls out a small rectangular box and hands it to you.

The music continues as you flip open the box, and in it, you see a silver titanium spinning top and a silver bishop chess piece, but just like in the movie, it’s hollowed out.

“There’s debate on Cobb’s totem being his ring, but considering you and Jungkook have wedding rings, it seems redundant.”

You chuckled to yourself at the gift. Only Yoongi would get you something like this. “What does it mean?”

Yoongi looks around, and your eyes follow him. His gaze returns to you, along with a soft smile. “This—you and Jungkook—it’s not a dream. It’s real.”

You turn away from him, your heart aching gravely, your eyes glistening from the silly but not-so-silly gift.

“Are you,” Yoongi pauses, “crying?”

You tut, still turned away, quickly wiping your tears. “No, I’m not crying.”

He tilts his head, waiting for you to turn to him. “Hey, what do I always say?”

“It’s okay to cry, just don’t cry alone,” you say monotonously.

He laughs. “Well, at least you remember something I’ve told you.”

You looked at him, your eyebrows knitted. “I listen,” you retort.

The song ends, and the DJ lets guests know only a few songs are left.

“Well, I have to head out. Early roll call tomorrow—you know the drill,” Yoongi says, stuffing his hands into his pants pocket.

You nod. “Thanks for coming. You don’t know how much it meant to me.”

“I wish you and Jungkook all the best,” he flashes a thin smile, and then he pulls you in for a hug, his cheek pressed against yours.

The unexpected display of affection catches you off guard. He’s not known to express affection, but you soften, giving into his embrace.

Yoongi withdraws from the hug, locking eyes with Jungkook as he waits for the two of you to finish. Yoongi gives a small smile, as does Jungkook.

“I’ll see you when I see you?”

The corner of your eyes crinkle as you smile, bidding him farewell.

Jungkook wraps his arms around you from behind, inhaling your scent. “Ready to go home?”

You hummed, nuzzling into him. “Let’s go home, hubby.”

A deep groan escaped your lips when you rolled onto your side, but Jungkook blocked the way, and you couldn’t move further. Your body ached in every nook and cranny. Jungkook did not go easy on you last night.

You sat up with weary eyes, staring at your husband, who was sound asleep, snoring away as if you had nothing to do today, but that was far from the case.

The two of you were setting off to the Maldives later tonight. Jin had taken Bam home after the wedding to dog sit while the two of you are off on your honeymoon.

You shoved Jungkook a few times, and his only response was grunts. “Kook, we need to get up,” you whined, kicking him a few times.

“Mm? Kook is not my name,” he said in a muffled tone as he faced you.

You huffed, clenching your jaw. “Husband, hubby, the love of my life.”

His eyes are closed, and he beams from ear to ear. “Yes, wifey?” He peeked an eye open before shifting into an upright position beside you. He opened his arm up for you to cuddle right in.

You shake your head at your silly husband, kissing his chest. He’s never going to grow old of you calling him that, is he?

“I love you.”

He giggled. “Is that it?”

You hummed.

“I love you more.”

Throughout your wedding day, you couldn't help but think of your relationship with Jungkook. You never expected to fall in love with your best friend's younger brother. You were on the rebound; he had just moved back from LA. It seemed like a lifetime ago that the two of you were sneaking around, getting caught by Yuna. It's strange how life works, how everyone gathers at life events, and this time, instead of a family reunion—like the one where you saw Jungkook again—everyone gathered for a more cheerful occasion, celebrating the two of you.

Chapter One of your life was never-ending, full of life and love. It was messy and complicated, but you felt like it was finally coming to a close, and Chapter Two would be the beginning of something much more beautiful for you and Jungkook.

✨ epilogue ~ us

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Non BL Fan watches Only Friends - Part II (Part I)

Ok. So it turns out that although I had to convince them to watch this show and share some thoughts with me, Neely really committed to the bit and is now enjoying the writing part more than the show. When I first talked to them about this, they said it would take 2/3 weeks to watch all of it. Turns out they watched 9 episodes in 3 days. And they already finish the show by the time this gets posted. So the final part of this will come soon.

So, they wrote a lot about episodes 5 - 9. And I haven't really been able to catch up to them so this time I won't be adding to it. Also, this is gonna be a bit long so if you want more general view of their thoughts on the show so far, skip to the end, to the conclusion. They separated it more or less by character so I'll add titles so it gets easier to read.

Neely's thoughts episodes 5 through 9 Just quick notes first:

It's creepy to me that Top's Halloween costume is a us army uniform 😬 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

I'm glad Chueam had a little bit more presence, even if just as supporting act.

I’m annoyed at this thing of framing Ray as taking Mew on "a bad path" as if Mew has no agency. Mew just spent ages teasing Top with no sex and in that relationship he had all the agency, and felt able to put his boundaries, but now he can't refuse alcohol and drugs? Ofc it's reactive to what happened, but so is Ray's usage and nobody seems to give him the same credit or patience. That said, Ray is being a lil bitch in his pursuit of Mew and how he reverted into treating Sand with entitlement.

Now longer:

Boston

Boston just keeps one uping himself, at this point he's just going for asshole so at least he's not pretending, and to me, he's on a league of his own; the "girl"boss, gatekeep, gaslight self-made villain of the series. But also, what I realise has been paining me in this portrayal is - and I think this happens in other media with so-called 'sluts' - that there's a difference between being a slut and the very reality of sex addiction as an illness. And media often does this muddled mix of both, where it's not really an addiction in how they show it because often the reality of that is too much to be representing on your average TV, but it's also not being a slut. I just wanna say: sluts are happy most times. Fucking is nice, it's not always a speed-train to self-destruction, it can be about curiosity and playfulness and desire. It can be intimate and caring and genuine, even if it's a one-night stand. Sluts don't so often feel remorse about fucking people, because they are not suddenly controlled by some demonic entity of lust that cannot reject fucking even if it blows away all of their life and surroundings; sluts actively choose to fuck because they want to fuck. AND 7/10 TIMES IT IS NICE! Sluts also are not always ready and willing for actions with anyone - they have tastes and standards and preferences like most people. Boston has rejected 0 people in this show until now, and more often than not he has regretted that sex, or it has been ultimately destructive to him or people he loves, and now he fucks Chueam's brother and very clearly we start the next episode with a strong guilt scene.

I just wouldn't call Boston a slut, he's maybe a sex addict, or using sex for numbing the pain of repressing his sexuality to his dad - in a parallel to how Ray uses substances to numb his own family stuff. Sluts are some of the nicest people I've met, cause also to do that respectfully you do have to have good people skills and empathy, sex is about knowing how to relate so you do get good at...relating in general, even non-sexually. But yeah, my defense of ethical random sex for another time.

Of course there's lots of gay men, especially those who are repressed in some way (like Boston is with his dads campaign and having to hide his sexuality because of it) that end up using sex in this toxic way, as well as for validation, power, a sense of control, or just this detachment that ultimately comes from deep internalised homophobia and a sense of not deserving real intimacy and tenderness and love. Again, I think that's very real within gays - I'd say maybe my experience within western (- socialised) communities, that's often a pattern I notice more in older gays, like 40 on - generations who felt AIDS and criminalization and mortality in a way we cannot begin to imagine. So maybe within a Thai context it's more common that this repression and reaction to repression is still common in younger gay men? I don't know enough about this; I'm also mostly in quite progressive (gender-)queer communities in very out-there European queer centres, so maybe more trad western gays despite generation might feel this. Here, I wouldn't consider this group of friends trad-gays. But again, underlining all my own statements here is that cultural context possibly impacts this reading a lot and I won't pretend to know queer-thai pov.

But that's how I'm justifying this from my angle. Boston's not a slut, we gathered as a council in an emergency meeting and he has surpassed the max levels of regret and guilt and self-destruction we are allowed post-sex on a monthly basis. I'm positioning him as either sex addiction or using sex to numb pain, or both - an addiction grown from his family situation and hiding who he is. I think there's a nice parallel between his story and rays that I'm tentatively enjoying as an audience. Both are very real in the gay world too, I'd say.

Mew

I liked the confrontation scene where Mew played the track during sex. I also liked Mew's very 'meh' revenges - I think it suits the character, felt a bit too much ado about nothing, but while still being cruel. Like the burning of the paper but in a way it didn't actually trigger Top, so it's quite mean and malicious but with no real effect; and the same with Boston where he goes through all the effort of getting that fucking video to confront him and scare him and then just gives it to him, nothing happens, no effect. But still almost genuinely malicious. I think it suits the character, Mew is incredibly beige and non-eventful, a personification of a yawn but with tints of malevolence. Just think of the build up of virginity and the importance giving to losing it, and then uneventfully he looses it in a flash because Top emptied a baggy of coke. He's not concerned with actually doing or not doing a thing, he wields his full power as a character in withholding until he feels he can't withhold anymore, until he will gain more from giving that from holding back, this was proven to me even by how he was initially scared he'd lose Top for being inexperienced at sex, and when he decides to do it, he calls Boston and directly says "i feel like he'll get bored of me if I don't".

I imagine he will do the same with taking Top back; he's gonna extend it as much as he can. He weaponizes this type of power, having something someone else wants, and holding that against them: I think you can see this with Ray, with Top, now with Boston. So I liked his revenge gimmicks as a spectator, and I was glad it avoided us audiences witnessing him forcing Boston to come out; nobody needs to see that ever but let alone in the middle of this chaos, it would be too far on the unhinged scale for me.

Top

I'm still not buying Top. The way he is being acted just comes across so two-faced to me; and I don't know if that's purposefully trying to tell me something or if I have a wrong reading of the actors expressions and gaze.

But Top and his attempts at making amends... I get it, its meant to be sweet and caring towards Mew, but he's still holding on to this toxic controlling side most times. Like at the beginning of the post-break up he's trying to act all sad puppy for Mew but he's also still running away blaming everything for his own mistake instead of taking responsibility, including visiting Boston to blame him and yell at him.

When he comes to give Mew books as apology gift he says "I'm here cause I'm his boyfriend" and I'm like... 👀 Again I think some people might find that sweet but it gives me the ick, it gives me controlling partner, it gives me gaslighting, is toxic - you're broken up, acknowledge your mistake, acknowledge that the person ended things with you, and start making amends from that place.

It also didn't sit well with me that he cuddled Mew when Mew was passed out drunk. Yes cute nice caring to put him in bed and, ok, sure, pass a wet towel on his face and neck if you want, and I can even hold my side-eye and skip a breath at taking his trousers for comfort but.. this person told you almost halfway through a vomit to leave, don't stay and cuddle him as if you're still "boyfriends"; consent for that has been very clearly renounced.

I find him a bit coercive, in this way that is very common in romantic media troupes. Like I'm always on edge when he's on screen cause I feel he could be Joe Goldberg from YOU or something if shown from his perspective (sorry for another netflix comparison). But I'm open to being criticized on that because YOU did just taint my reading of every attempt at more traditional gentlemen romantic character on TV.

Sand

Poor Sand :(

Ok also unnecessary to seek revenge in that way and telling ray about the recording was oh so stupid. He did ultimately caused everyone's chaos without actually being direct about it and in a way that ended up implicating everyone; and he was our most wholesome character, so that didn't pass unnoticed to me but still...

Poor sand :(

I was happy with how quickly and undramatically and genuinely he apologized to Nick and supported Nick and assumed his mistake. Hands down the most genuine principled character in this series in both romantic love and friendship.

Ray

Personally I very very much feel Ray tho. Pursuing this infatuation that is nothing but your own projection after a person has repeatedly rejected you both with and without a partner, both 2 years ago and a few weeks/months ago. - instead of someone you have gotten to know and be intimate with and you're falling for reciprocally. Like been there, it feels stupid and embarrassing to watch, but also, I feel him. To desire this dream you've been feeding in the midst of years of trauma and addiction and feeling aimless in life, he had fed this so so much as if it was his only way out of the cycle, his only salvation, that of course it holds more influence still in him than the very real possibility of mutual love & care with Sand.

We could've had a mature poly maybe, if he is really so adamant of "I can have feelings for two people", but I don't really trust that in his state, and anyway if so, do it with respect. Instead he just drops Sand and goes back to treating him a bit like he is service, or guaranteed, or like he can buy him. The way Sand got into that bath tub after Ray broke his arm and he went to help him recover, baby nooo get out of there cmon.

Also on Ray.. I wanted to point out that while he was with Sand he became so much better as a person, less messy, less entitled, he opened up. But in no way did he stop drinking.

I'm not arguing that drinking that much is a good thing, it definitely isn't good and he should work towards calming it down. but he keeps being blamed for drinking alcohol, and like alcohol is destroying his life, but actually alcohol is more a consequence than a cause (as often is). He was drinking and drunk and doing drugs with Sand, but he was held, and he was relating, cared for, and he was turning out to be a genuinely nice person. Yes I think he could learn how to give better care back to Sand, even in their best moments, but I believe he was on a right path.

The chaos within him returns when the whole Mew infatuation is triggered again. And this makes sense - he drinks because he was always rejected by his family, importantly so, his mother. Mew is a continuation of that rejection, Mew is what his destructive depressive side keeps feeding on to tell himself he is worthless, that he doesn't deserve to be loved, that he will always be rejected. He has deep abandonment and rejection trauma, exacerbated but not started by alcohol. And sadly, he is surrounded by people in their own individualistic, predominantly romantic treadmills, that do not know how to be friends. His main issue is not getting intoxicated by alcohol, is being drowned in a fairly toxic "friend" group. And this is another example of why this show cannot write good relationships that aren't monogamous and romantic, and will always privilege those. Sand is the saving romance to what friendship in this universe will never be powerful enough to heal. And I find this overall message of 1-1 romantic love trumps everything, that is drilled into the essence of this show, deeply problematic. But more on that later.

Nick

Nick..........................

I don't know really. It's too much

It's so delusional poor guy.

It's too much for me to relate I think. I relate to the overwhelmingness of feeling, and I appreciate the representation of a deep feeler in this series and within queers or gays. Like he really said I will sob snort for this boy. But on the grand scheme of: wire-tapping Boston’s car, listening to the recording on what looked like noise canceling headphones, begging for him to stay, messaging and stalking the party... But also - giving Mew the info about AND the name of the person with Boston's sextape? He's so lost, no action he takes has a logic sense in any goal or narrative.

And I think it's cause he's lost between his good ethics and values and his obsessive infatuation for Boston. He's also generally too much of a puppet for everyone, he's lost and deranged for a boy who gave him not only crumbs but a tiny amount of crumbs about to get moldy. I found his fall into heartbreak and desperation so cringe to watch, and I felt really both sad and pity and shame for him - it was almost empathizing at one point cause we all have been played to some extent, but it went too far for me to be able to relate. But I feel for him, and also, I eye-roll for him in equal measure.

Chueam

I'm still disappointed with not getting proper Chueam content, and a story line that doesn't revolve around the messy gays. I would love if we had left the misogynist troupe of the fag-hag in the 90s and early-2000s (I know she's a lesbian, but still), and started treating women and giving them attention and stories, and defining them for themselves over being some balance or moral compass for the men. That would be much more queer, even if she was straight, than whatever this background lesbianism they went for, it's giving Willow in Buffy but set in G-A-Y Late (gay club in London, substitute for your own gay club reference).

Generally, to conclude, and sorry it's so long cause I don't feel like editing:

There's a few things that are becoming quite apparent to me, that I still would love and think it's possible to change a bit, but have little hopes it will.

1) This dude hates sex! (the creator). All the sex in this series has weird dynamics in it, it's like none of them can just fuck. Even the "slut" that is Boston, we are told he fucks around a lot and there's so many guys, but every instance of fucking that we actually are shown or are alluded to on screen, has resulted in something bad. There has been 0 genuine, non-weaponised, non-traumatic, instances of sex in this show, that weren't a part of, or even the start, of a train of terrible consecutive downhill events. Even Virgin Mew's first time is tainted by him using it as coin to get Top to stop doing coke, and also tainted by Top being dishonest just before when they just both said they'd be honest. Sex is a plot point to make everything go to shit in this universe. Let people fuck unharmed!

2) For a queer show, it's really going above and beyond to paint every aspect of queer life that isn't a straight-edge, monogamous, and orientated towards building family and career, as negative. We are meant to feel for poor delusional Nick, because he is trying to save Boston from himself and his proclivity for prostate with a promise of love and monogamy. Top himself is now beginning to assume this role in relation to Mew. We even get a random-ass parallel scene of Jennie the bar owner having a break up with her partner cause she doesn't wanna move in together. Like allow me to ask why we needed this? they were sweet and reliable as side-characters, there were numerous other plot points they could've picked to give them some spotlight, and to shine light on the tribulations of dating as trans, and trusting your partner as trans, which is the closest to a good point I can dig out of that scene. But they went for an explosive argument that equates not wanting to move in together and do a next step in normative romance, as being an issue, as being the only continuation, no other parallel paths to love can exist. There is no future in relationships in this universe that doesn't end in your typical nuclear family constellation. And this is a queer show!!!

3) For a show with "Friends" on the title, and presented in its first episode exposition as about this group of friends, it is very unconcerned with the idea of friendship.

There's a loose connection between some characters but rarely have I seen acts of true friendship. I think Sand and Nick is the best, potentially only, good representation of a healthy friendship with no extra manipulative dynamics, even with the unfortunate tainting with betrayal, the apology and resolution is rooted in a healthy and horizontal and unselfish friendship; Mew supporting Ray when he (almost?) took an overdose in the bath years before is one too; Sand consistently helping Ray could be considered that even though the intentions are muddled with romance; maybe Top now helping Mew we could make an effort to see it as an act of friendship because he told Chueam he wanted to help him even if they don't end up together. Of course Chueam too, but again she's the woman insert to be the balance to the slutty selfish men, the voice of reason on the other side of the scale (I don't feel like going further into the stereotypical gender binarism of this, but...).

I'm scrambling so much for examples that even Boston giving Mew a slight phone pep-talk before he loses his virginity could be considered one in this world of absolute friend scarcity? But it's all a reach. They all have fairly complex histories and including some trauma, and not once have they had a heart-to-heart and tried to help each other through, they base their interactions in moaning about their current - or their pursuits of - romantic relationships, or judging those who are not pursuing them, or have addictions that impact them in finding one.

The occasions of help happen ultimately because people have reached such a desperate state that they need a dramatic intervention; and the fact characters reach this level of desperation shouldn't surprise us, because ultimately all of them lack the foundational support of a good friend group.

And this makes sense with my point 2 above - this show is deeply unconcerned with any type of relationship that isn't 1-on-1 romantic partner love. These folks just happen to share space, almost at random, in their lifelong pursuit of a regular long term partnership that ultimately exists in a contextual friendless void. Which makes me think about the wider context of why they're spending time together and this hostel they're opening for a school project. Of course they were "friends" before, and so we are told, but the moments we experience of them together is one in which they are out together for a reason, for school, and not simply because they love each other and want to hang out. I'd love to see them leave their current partners at home a few more times and just hang out in a bar as pals.

The End

And that's what they wrote until episode 9. Neely already sent me their final thoughts so I'll post them later this week.

Thanks for reading💜

I'll tag some people that left comments last time or reblogged. @doyou000me @respectthepetty @italianpersonwithashippersheart @o-nao-lugar @lurkingshan @heiscomingtomygrave If anyone else wants to get tagged for the final one let me know.

[weightofkiszka]

𝒮𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓇𝑜𝓌 𝑜𝒻 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒟𝒶𝓌𝓃~𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉. 1

This will be a series :D not sure how long it will be yet

word count:1,221(so far)

Warnings: None for now, TBD

Being in high school in a small town was strange and difficult. Everyone knew who each other were, even if they didn't know each other personally. That was how it always was. You knew who everyone was, even if you didn't hang out with them. Sammy was your best friend though. And you were his, aside from the curly haired boy he'd known since the first grade. You two were almost inseparable, some would even say that you both had a crush on each other. But that was no where near how it was. You and Sam were like siblings and had been since you met in kindergarten. When he started hanging out with Daniel too, you didn't mind although you rarely spoke to Daniel. Up until a week before graduation at least. The two of you had been at Sam's house, as that was the usual hangout and even sometimes the woods on the edge of town. You didn't know Daniel would be there as he had told Sam that he wasn't sure he could due to work. Yet when Daniel walked through the front door, you saw how gorgeous he was. You weren't sure how you hadn't noticed over all those years spent with him. His curls pulled back into a low bun and his sun-kissed skin made your heart race. You often found yourself staring at him after that moment, whenever you were around him and even after that at graduation. The three of you spent the summer together before leaving for college since you had been accepted into Harvard Law, your dream college and when they heard you had been accepted they made sure to have the best summer before you left. Sam and Daniel stayed behind, going to a community college since they both wanted to stay in Frankenmuth. You grew so busy in school you had almost forgotten about them.

FIVE YEARS LATER

"We'll pick you up from the airport, okay? You can stay with us honey, your room hasn't been touched since you left.", your mother told you over the phone. "Okay mama, thank you. I'll call you when we land." You hung up the call and put your phone on airplane mode. This trip will be your first time home since being a freshman in college. Actually you wouldn't be returning to Harvard law, but your family didn't know that yet. You had grown to realize it wasn't what you wanted to do so you would find work in your hometown until you knew exactly what you wanted to do. Your flight was short, only about two hours. You decided to fly instead of drive, only because you didn't have a car but also because it was cheaper than renting a car.

🕊️🕊️

After landing in Detroit and being picked up by your parents, they drove you back home. You found you had fallen asleep when you felt your phone vibrate. Checking it, you saw you had an instagram message.

samfkiszka: hey :) your mom said you would be in town today and i was wondering if you wanted to hang out and catch up?

morningbird: yes ofc omg i would love to. Tonight at 8?

samfkiszka: see you then :)

You liked the message, letting him know that you had seen it. You hadn't talked to Sam or Danny since your last day before leaving for school. It felt good knowing at least one of them was still in town and even if you hadn't heard from Danny you made a mental note to ask Sam about him. You wanted to know what they both had been up to since you hadn't been home since you were 19. You were now 24 and were due to graduate next semester. An entire year early, yet it became to stressful for you. You had been top of your class for four years, but a messy breakup sent you into a depression and cause your grades to slip below the average A+ you usually had, which hadn't been a big deal until the only class you needed to pass this semester had been failed. So you thought it was best to move back home and figure it out from there.

Once you made it back to your parents house and got all of your belongings to your room, you set up your computer to look for work around town. Finding one in particular that piqued your interest you immediately looked at the website.

New Moon Apothecary. Specializing in all your spiritual needs.

After looking over the website, you applied and hoped for the best. You had never worked in an apothecary before but was well educated in tarot, maybe hoping to give readings at the apothecary. Hearing a knock at your bedroom door, you jumped. You forgot what it was like living with other people.

"Hey Y/N. I couldn't wait any longer to see my best friend so I thought I'd stop by." You heard the familiar voice say before looking back at him. "Sammy! Oh my gosh how are you?" You jumped up and ran to Sam giving him one of the biggest hugs you'd ever given someone. "I've been good! I missed you so much Y/N. Daniel is still in town too so we'll all have to meet up this week. I never thought you'd come back if I'm being honest."

You pulled back and looked at him "Never come back? Sam I always had plans on coming back even if it was just to see you." You smiled at him and stepped away. "Let me just get dressed and we can go where ever you want, okay?" He smiled and left the room to give you privacy. "I'll be out by my car waiting."

Sam treated you to burgers and fries, a meal you both got whenever you had the chance. You both giggled at everything, almost like no time had passed at all. He filled you in on everything that had happened in his life over the years. Becoming a producer and producing his brother Jake's music for three years until Jake was signed to a label out in Nashville. Sam stayed behind and watched his brothers dream come true while finding work with smaller bands around town. After filling you in on everything he had done the last five years, he asked how school had been and when you'd be going back.

"I'm actually staying here for a while. I didn't finish school..." You looked at him nervously biting your lip, afraid he'd be disappointed. "Well thats alright, you'll find something here to do and eventually find what works for you." Relieved he wasn't disappointed, you smiled.

The both of you walked around town for a while after that. Spotting New Moon in the distance you drug him along faster, explaining you had applied there and wanted to check it out before your interview. He giggled at how excited you seemed, and opened the door for you. The both of you looking around, and pointing out different crystals to each other. You were looking at a deck of bird themed tarot cards when you heard a familiar voice behind you.

"Birdie?", you turned to see who spoke before your heart stopped and you froze completely seeing them behind the counter.

"Daniel?"

taglist:

@profitofthedune @sunflwerfangirl @gvf23

[write-and-buried]

Postcards

Part 1

Joel Miller x OFC

(credit for banner idea to @fuckyeahdindjarin)

Summary; You need to get the fuck out of Boston.

Warnings; descriptions of injury and personal wound care, hopelessness and angst - for a full list of warnings for this fic, please go here

Author's Note; I am *so* excited for this fic. I love these characters with all my heart and soul. I wouldn't be here and wouldn't be able to post it without the unending support of some very incredible people whose talent far outweighs my own, so massive thank you to Vic ❤️, @astroboots @jazzelsaur @the-ginger-hedge-witch @radiowallet & @frannyzooey for supporting, beta-reading and listening to me bitch and moan and whine and whinge for months on end about these two.

series masterlist | main masterlist

Sometimes, I’m amazed by how little time it took for nature to take the world back. It’s as if all she was waiting for was a reason to reset. The way she wanted to be, shredding her human skin and blooming anew. The fresh green grass, the flowers, the dandelions freed from pavement. No feet left to stamp them down.

I wonder if this is why. If there’s a reason, and if this could possibly be it.

You’d tell me it’s foolish to wonder. But I still do.

Sparrow.

*

The blood blooms red on your ankle. It seeps into the fabric of your jeans, a creeping stain that crawls up your calf, the frazzled edges of the denim taking on a new colour as you jam yourself tighter against the wall. Your teeth are digging into your palm, biting back a scream of pain that echoes in the hollow chamber of your chest.

You peel it from your skin, slamming a fist into the wall as you see the bone beneath the torn tissue. There is no alcohol in your pockets, there’s nothing to clean the wound with as it bleeds sticky red beneath you. It’s dark here, quiet except for the skittering of rats, flowing over the overflowing garbage.

You’re between a wall and a dumpster, covered in refuse and stink, listening for the thumping boots that have been chasing you, missing you as you ducked your head and ran, feeling the breeze of a wasted bullet pass your ear.

You didn’t think they’d execute you. Not without a farcical trial, some showcase to give the public, something for them to live for, to wake up another day. Watch your brains splatter on the pavement, a lively splash of colour against the backdrop of the apocalypse. You can twist just enough to access your pockets, dig your skinny fingers into the one with your medical kit.

You’ve got enough to seal the wound, stop the rancid mess from dripping into it, wrap it with strips of cloth and hope that can stop the bleeding. It’s enough for now, but without cleaning it, without stitching it, without some penicillin and a shot of decent whiskey, it will get infected. A different kind of infection, but deadly all the same.

The rats crawl across your shoulders as the sun dips below the horizon, you pray they aren’t hungry enough to bite. Everything is hungry here. 

Forcing deep breaths as if oxygen were food; you shove your hands deeper into your jacket. You feel the bundle against your breastbone, the thick cardstock hidden beneath the layers of fabric, stitched into a false pocket made real. It’s the only thing that fills you, that satisfies the hunger.

You count your breaths to pass the time. You can roughly scrape together how long it’s been, the pattern of stars across the clouded sky giving you an impression of the passage of time as your head goes fuzzy. It could be exhaustion; it could be blood loss. Your breaths come in the same pattern as the blood you feel still seeping from your ankle. Slow and sticky hot. Your fingers are cold, your neck sweating.

You fall asleep.

Fits and starts of consciousness, the same dream coming in staccato rhythm. Its been with you longer than the hollow of your chest, longer than the silvery scars on your wrist, longer than the misery that follows you like a shadow, a ghost. Pudgy toes in too big pyjamas. Loud banging, fireworks, James’s hands over your ears, hands on your shoulders, lifting and screaming, the jostling run. A shout, your father’s, a scream, your mother’s, fingernails ripping the skin of your forearm, James’s. It’s far too dark in the truck.

You wake with a start, sunlight weak in the fog of morning.

You need to get the fuck out of Boston.

They’re all over your apartment. Standing out the front of the building, handguns held loosely in their grip as they joke back and forth at their easy posting. You can’t go back there. You’re not losing much; a blanket that isn’t too scratchy, an extra shirt with more holes, a trickle of water from a rusted tap that’s sometimes warm and always discoloured. You hide in an alleyway, pulling your hood over your hair. They’d still recognise you; you’re covered in blood.

It takes you all day to get there, weaving through alleyways and waiting in dark corners as they pass by you. There’s a sweet stink of rot and human misery and it comforts you, smelling oddly of home as you hope it’s not your flesh rotting away. You shoulder the door open, feeling the bright sparks of pain skitter up your leg. You’re breathing is erratic now, you can taste copper on your teeth as you struggle through the black market.

It's a hollowed-out school, twists of hallways and wide rooms. There’s faded bright coloured paintings, still pinned to the walls. They’ve made fires near open windows, belching black smoke into the afternoon. It’s close to the industrial section, it’s an open secret.

Meryl’s room is in the back, the old principal’s office, hollowed out hallowed ground as she deals drugs to those in need. Everyone is in need. Morphine to penicillin, to heroin and meth, the little bags of pills given out on trade. She makes her own moonshine to sell on the side. She’s the oldest person you remember knowing. You shuffle down the hallway, past the clothed-up windows of a makeshift brothel, the rooms full of mattresses, some housing the sick, the dying, the waiting to die.

“Idiot bird,” she says, seeing your blood-stained form in her doorway. “I warned you.”

She had. There were rumours for weeks that this was the current gamble, that others had been snatched up to swing for the exact same thing. It was amazing how you could see bodies swinging in the daylight when others were clawing at the gates.

It was a group of them. Six or seven, huddled around a trashcan fire in the early evening, haunted eyes and too-big clothing. Scabby little kids asking every passer by if they could spare something, spare anything. A little kindness in a world that forgot how to give it. They’re ashy little grubby fingers looked worn to the bone as they reached for you.

You were cocky. Stupid and reckless. The fresh stack hidden under your coat made your neck sweat, carrying this many was dangerous, and you were eager to get rid of them, to give them away and make more. 

The pleasure was in the making. The creation, finding the charcoal, sharpening the tip of metal to a fine point. Soaking the cardstock, the pretty pictures fading into the obscurity their subjects lived in.

Nobody scavenged for postcards. Just outside the fences, where you were still safe, but you could tell yourself you weren’t really. Where you could get a little shot of adrenaline to brighten up your misery and browse the racks of bright colours and dusty edges. You could take them all at once, but you’d lose your reason to come back.

“Wish you were here”

Everyone wished they were somewhere else. The lies on the front of them, the lack of space to write any true feelings, to tell the truth in anything other than a bland platitude and a whispered wish. You could coat them in candy, roll them in sugar and make the words sweeter, twist a lie into something palatable, something easier to swallow with sticky blood-soaked fingers.

The first step is soaking them. Just around the edges, enough to separate the laminated photo from the cardstock. Sliding a piece of thin wood scrap in between the plastic photo, lifting gently to not tear it. You can discard the photo when you’re done, laying the cardstock on a flat surface to dry. The rare days of sunlight help.

Then it’s trimming them, slicing off the edges and rounding them until they’re the perfect size. You use a rubber band and the charcoal for the border, making them look like the printed ration cards. Then the writing, black script, with the stamp of Boston’s Quarantine Zone in a careful hand. They take you hours, sips of water and nibbles of food to keep your hand steady.

You have a stack of them by the end, a few restless nights with a scratchy blanket around your shoulders to make enough for a years’ worth of ration cards. The first one you did was for fun. It’s lonely on your own, the only people roughly your own age in the military, or passed out in Meryl’s school of hardest knocks. It was something to keep your hands occupied, something to keep your mind active, stop the slow creep of loneliness from atrophying your limbs.

You tried them first. Your fingers trembled under your heavy jacket when you passed them to the woman with a pinched smile. She gave you your rations, without question, stamping and discarding the now useless card. You walked away with bottles of water, a bag of rice and a wry smile.

You could have turned it into an empire. Traded them for drugs or comfort. But it was easier to give them away; give them to skinny little teenagers who dug through bins with clothing worn through the knees. It’s enough, for a family to get enough flour to bake a small cake, stick a match in the centre and sing happy birthday, a haunting melody of a dead life.

You figured it had a few months. But a few months turned into a year, and people came to you now. They came with blankets and offerings, an altar at your feet to worship at as you turned all their offers down. Their bellies screaming for food was offering enough. You kept under the radar, or so you figured.

The signs didn’t deter you, though you wondered where they scrapped the fresh metal. Counterfeiting is theft. Theft is an offence punishable by death. As if hunger wasn’t also. They kept you all right on the brink of starving, worrying so much about your next meal means you don’t have to worry about what is outside the gates. They kept you safe by keeping you lean – by keeping you scrappy and hungry and desperate for the hand that feeds you. Those cards are your way of showing teeth.

You kept up with it, reducing your supply just enough to stay below the radar. Meryl warned you, the last stack you gave her she grabbed your wrist, gripped it tight enough to feel the bones shift beneath the skin.

“They’re using the kids, little sparrow”

You didn’t listen. It didn’t cross your mind as you saw the group of them, preteens barely hitting puberty, knobby knees and hollow eyes crowded around a trash can. They pulled you in, the low voices and flat tone, no happiness or laughter. Sometimes the ration guards have hard candy, sugar rolled together that you can trade for a card, a treat.

You didn’t notice. The youngest one scrambling away with half a grin as you pulled them from your pocket, slipping them into a sweaty palm. The boots came next, a thundering stomp and a shout as they ran to you, grabbing at you with armoured hands. They grabbed your hair, your throat, your shoulders, crushing your windpipe as they yanked you forward, into the middle of the street. There was a shout, a sentence of death as one with ragged fingernails grabbed you by the neck.

You had managed to slip them, your overcoat in their fingers as you slipped free, running from them with a throat burning fire. They shot at you, more than once. One clipped the pavement, skittering sparks. Another tore through your ankle, as you stumbled with a blood splatter. You didn’t feel it after that, running and twisting as their heavy armoured bodies tried to follow. You jammed yourself into a corner, into a crack in between a dumpster and the wall, a place only a ghost could fit.

“What do you need, birdie?” Meryl asks, a hint of scraggy kindness in her tone. She’s missing three fingers on her left hand, her teeth are brown and loose. She smells like rubbing alcohol, she deals drugs and hides a gun in the old principal’s desk. She’s the closest thing you’ve had to a friend in almost a decade.

“Medicine.” you manage, sliding against the wall as the pain takes your knees out. She brings you a phial, a needle, a bottle of moonshine and an almost clean rag. She smokes a hand rolled cigarette as you clean yourself up on her floor, shoot the antibiotics into your exposed arm.

“Can I sleep here?” you ask, the pain turning into an aching dull throb as your head tilts back into the wall. You’re exhausted, every day you’re exhausted. And now you’re on the run. Meryl nods, sipping her moonshine from a jar as she tosses you a blanket. She has enough pity for you, a ghost curled in the corner as the pain of being alive slowly rocks you to sleep.

*

Dear Mom,

It was an event when I skinned my knee. Falling off my bike because I was too grown up for training wheels, and too proud to admit I was scared. James got to me first, holding my hand as he shouted for you both. You kissed my forehead as Dad sprayed the scrape with something that stung. The band aid had mermaids on it. You called me brave and gave me an ice cream.

Am I still brave now?

Sparrow

*

His apartment smells like gunpowder. It smells like the munitions he smuggles, the stink of crime seeping into the wood and settling there. There’s a bed in the corner he doesn’t use. He sleeps on the couch instead, daring the nightmare to come and claim him, sink him under as if he can take another path, make another choice, make a better choice, wake up somewhere else.

His shower is never warm. Lukewarm and dribbling over his shoulders as he tries to scrub the guilt from his skin. He wonders if he scrubs deep enough, he’ll hit bone. Robert and Tess are waiting for him. He turns away from the scars in the mirror, the backpack waiting at the door.

He passes fresh gallows in the middle of town. They smell like pine and rust. He thinks about the woman. 

He was standing in the yawning mouth of the alleyway - caught between not wanting to get blackout drunk with Robert and not wanting to face the nightmares - staring at a group of preteens. Paid to entrap criminals, as if he didn’t get paid for the same thing by the same hands, money slipping from crime to justice and back again.

The woman was a scrap of a thing, skinny limbs and drowning in clothing, hair pulled up into a bun, flying all around her face. A baby bird - fragile and moulting - those same haunted eyes he recognises from the mirror. One of the guards Robert liked to trade with grabbed her, dragged her into the street. He felt a peculiar flex in his limbs as they crush her throat with ease.

She slipped them. She slipped through the only crack available to her, shedding her coat like a second skin. They scrambled for their guns, clumsy and uncoordinated. They aren’t used to their citizens fighting back. They missed her, once and twice until they didn’t, a starburst of red on the pavement that exploded in garish colour as she kept running.

She was able to keep running.

The woman’s probably dead by now. Joel feels the sun on his face as he wonders about the baby bird he watched freefall from the nest. He wonders if her corpse has been stamped into the pavement yet.

Robert makes promises he can’t keep. He promises enough to get them ravenous: crates of weapons he doesn’t have access to, guns nobody has seen in years. Every time. Tess finds and every time, Joel delivers, and Robert makes more promises; and there’s never an out, never a break, never a breath that doesn’t feel stolen.

It smells like fresh pine here. He wonders if the boxes are for bullets or bodies. Probably both. Behind a gate he has no right to enter, they sit in a sweltering room made of tin, a roof on four unsteady beams. A hint of his old life peeks through as he reminds himself how to reinforce it.

Tess stops Robert short of promising the moon. There’s already too much on the table as they pay half upfront and promise the other half on delivery. She’s furious with him as they leave, the sweltering door shutting as he’s left in muggy darkness. Joel stays quiet, thinking of reinforced beams and supports, nail guns that always smacked his hip when he was crawling across the support beams, the merry jangle of rivets and hammers as they swung from a belt he picked out with Sarah, compromising on dark leather instead of magenta.

“We take em up on their offer Tessy! That’s how we do it.”

“And give them what in exchange?” Tess sounds exasperated, interested, tired.

“All they want is the list, just a list of residents, it’s harmless.”

“It’s not harmless.” Tess mutters, throwing Joel a look as she remembers.

They traded a truck full of semi-automatics for a list like that once. Pine boxes full of untouched weaponry they traded for food and clothing and extra provisions. They lived like kings for a week, gorging on good whiskey and real coffee and bread that didn’t taste like cardboard.

The screams came in the night. Too many to be a raid on undesirables. It was a mass kidnapping. They threw them in a truck, Joel watching from a grubby window with his pistol held in a loose grip. He met Tess at the gates, her eyes wide and clouded with fear as they snuck through the gates, affixing gas masks as they squeezed through a rusted hole in the sewer, coming through to see the brake lights disappearing in the distance.

It took three days to find them, a favour to Bill he’d yet to repay for a vehicle, a shotgun. It was an abandoned office building, the top layers crumbling into nothingness. Yawning open with their beams exposed, a decomposing ribcage into the sky. They weren’t dead, that was the smallest mercy. Chained by their feet in the rotting bathrooms, iron and metal around the bones of their ankles.

Some kind of religious cult. They popped up by the hundreds in the aftermath, poor fuckers who had lost too much and twisted hope into daggers, staked their agony into the ground and prayed for an end to their suffering by inflicting it on others. They got the guns from others they had killed, traded them for more names, more blood to spill in some kind of offering to a god that only they believed in.

It was a brutal extraction. Blood and no mercy, snapping necks and choking until they were bathed in dirt and flecks of blood. Tess and Joel piled that same list of names back into a family SUV, their knees shaking together as they said nothing, the hollow haunted, hunted look right back in their eyes.

Joel sees them around sometimes, their shuffling gait, the ghosts still trailing them in the daylight.

Toast can’t ever be bread again.

There’s another group now, a team of them out in Colarado. They write in careful script, code that smugglers use, offering a giant bounty of weapons and food in exchange for an up to date list of residents of the Boston Quarantine Zone, and nothing else. It makes his teeth itch, his hair prickling at the base of his neck as he wonders what they want them for.

“We-elllll, I promised them Tessy. We have the time though, one of us could go down to look at em, take a trip to Colorado and see what they want it for, scope them out.”

“Waste of time” Joel said, his voice low as he watched Robert pace like a caged tiger. He pushed past him as he left, grabbing a bottle of whiskey from their bounty as he did.

The woman’s blood is still on the pavement. It’s dried and flaking and flying away in the soft spring breeze. He sips from his bottle as he stands over the puddle, pouring one out for the dead baby bird. Nobody talks to him, nobody looks his way. 

Everyone wants to be somewhere else.

*

It’s always too dark in the truck.

You wake on Meryl’s floor with a jolt. Everything hurts, but functions. Your ankle makes its presence known as you stand, shaky legs and hunger ripping through your belly as you stand still enough for the light-headedness to pass. Meryl is asleep in her chair, mouth yawning open as you twist, encouraging blood flow to your aching limbs.

“I have to get out of here” you mutter, untying and retying your hair, straightening your clothing as you brush the bundle in your jacket pocket. You’d give your last ration card for a warm shower.

“Ach. Baby bird, where would you fly?” Meryl sniffs, rousing from sleep with a clumsy hand, reaching for a rolled cigarette.

The truck is too dark, the screams are too loud, the lights too bright as you feel your chest crack open, feel every ounce of safety and comfort bleed into the brake lights of your past.

“Denver” you mutter, leaving your last stack of ration cards on her desk as you leave, slipping a jar of moonshine into your pocket. She gives you a smile made of bared rotting teeth.

They always tell you how good you have it. Every checkpoint you’ve ever entered, every roll of your fingerprint against a register, every key to a shithole apartment, some with floorboards missing, burned for heat. You were safe from the worst of it. But you weren’t safe now. Your description is under the thievery signs; height, weight, hair colour, eye colour. They even have a reward for you; they want you alive, just so they can make a show of killing you.

There’s wire cutters in one of your pockets, a stack of palettes you can hide behind as you clip away at the fence, avoiding the checkpoint for the bureaucratic headquarters. They trade with one another, you know it. You’ve seen the stamps on empty boxes. One of their trucks, armoured and full of more food you have eaten in your lifetime, driven cross country.

It will be easy enough, you think, to climb into the back of one of them and slip between the cargo and wait, sneak into another quarantine zone, pretend you’ve always been there. Start over in another place as if you had a place to begin with.

There’s a tin shed for storage with overgrown scrubby grass behind it that covers you easily. There are gaps in it, filtering a bit of light through. You can hear the snippets of conversations from right here, their talks about how they spend their off hours, how they go to Meryl’s and spend their pay checks on moonshine and sex and drugs.

Night falls, and you sleep in the grass, taking up less space in the earth than you can ever remember taking. The gravel is hard under your back, and you spend your night wondering where all the insects are. Nothing bothers you here, there’s nobody left.

Boots wake you in the morning, with a woman’s voice yelling at someone who tries to reason with her. You hear a fight, the sound of air expelling as a cough as he tries to explain. The hawking spit landing on the floor as they yank the door open, you hear three of them, a third with heavy footsteps, silent as he shuts the door behind them. 

You can hear them from the cracks in the walls, the argument continuing as you stand up to listen. They’re the most interesting thing you’ve heard for over a day, pressing your ear to the hot tin as the argument continues. It’s something about weapons, and promises, and one of them leaving to go somewhere.

“Joel can go” The whiny man’s voice says.

“How?” The woman shouts back “We don’t have any favours left”

“Bill…” He starts

“Bill’s gonna put a round in our head if we go anywhere near his property again, that was the last word he spoke to us, so explain to me how that works?”

“On foot then. A few weeks, living off the land, like a little holiday”

They argue a little longer, before the whiny man claims he’s going to take a piss, let them think over his proposal. The woman talks as the tin door scrapes, your ear vibrating as it presses to the side of the wall. 

You don’t hear him come up behind you, his hand is a vice around your throat.

Joel stands when he hears the scuffle, a scream that brings boots of guards coming towards their little tin outpost. There’s a grunt, Robert’s, a loud smack and the sound of a falling body. The dragging of feet and screaming as there’s more kicking. It’s quick, the fight, before the door bursts open, Robert shoving a small body in through the light.

The fragile little bird. One with fully formed talons apparently. Robert’s lip is bleeding, his eye already swelling as he holds his ribs. The little bird scrambles, trying to duck under Robert’s arm as she throws out another fist. Her lips are pulled in a snarl, anger as she favours her right leg, the left still injured.

The guards show up not long after, the somehow still living bird fighting and clawing as Joel watches, studying the form currently fighting like they have something to live for. Robert shoves her to the ground. She wipes her own bloody lip, then spits on the ground as she sees the guards.

“Caught me a thief” Robert says, laughing as he steps into line with the armoured guards, already pulling guns.

“I’m leaving” she says, hoisting herself up on her elbows as she keeps her eyes trained on the guns half raised to point at her.

“Bounty on your head girlie” Robert laughs, coughing at the end as he winces.

Joel feels a tug at the corner of his lip. You loosed a tooth, winded him in the struggle. Robert fights dirty, Joel knows, he taught him how. Whatever you did caught him by surprise, took him off guard, as much as your inexplicable life in front of him has.

“No jacket to slip from this time” The guard says, cocking his gun.

You tilt your face as they aim the gun at you. Jutting your chin out as they aim at your face.

“I want out anyway. I’m looking to hitch a ride to Denver – that’s all. You’ll never see me again”

You don’t sound afraid, there’s no tremble in your voice, despite them standing over you, ready to execute you and drag your hollow-boned corpse to the town square, an example ready made in your sallow rigid skin.

Your eyes flick to the woman, then to him. He’s broad, his shoulders wide and set, a furrow seemingly permanent in his brow, dirt on his cheeks, and scruff on his jaw. He’s studying you, his eyes flicking over your limbs, as if he’s assessing you, taking you whole rather than the sum of your parts.

His arms are crossed, sleeves pushed over his elbows as the muscles flex under tanned skin. He seems to seethe, the heat in his eyes travelling through his body as his limbs lock in place. You want to ask him for help. The sum of your life weighs your tongue so that you can’t speak. He breaks your gaze, looking at the guard with a shaking gun locked between your eyes.

You watch him shake his head.

“I owe this bitch a bullet Joel”

Joel. His name is Joel.

He stands in front of you, two steps to cross the sweltering room and block you with his bulk. His shadow engulfs you, casts you in darkness as he reaches for the guards gun. He moves slowly, a snake in scrub grass as he grabs the wrist of the guard. It takes a moment before you hear the bones crack, the yelp of pain as he drops the gun on the ground.

You get dirt under your nails as you grab for it, the whiny voiced one kicks it free before you can get fingers on it. He steps on them, making you yank back, more pain rolling up your arm, matching your throbbing ankle. You’re sure its bleeding under its dressing. You can feel bile in your throat as you see him smile down at you.

The man named Joel shoves the guard backwards, he goes flying as if attached to a rope, landing on the gravel dirt with a groan of pain. He starts towards him, scrambling to his feet, for a fight. He stops dead when Joel takes a step forward, his fist clenching at his side.

“Joel, man, come on… she has a bounty on her head. Will pay the bills for a few weeks at least”

Joel’s fist connects with the whiny man’s face. You see a tooth catch the sunlight as it looses from his mouth, a spray of blood arcing in the light as he crumbles like a puppet with cut strings. The light surrounds him like a halo as he turns, his hair flecking grey and chestnut in the sunlight.

He reaches out a hand to you. When you take it, its calloused and strong and warm.

[halucynator]

@catastrxblues I will kms I'm so sorry I lost the ask somehow so I'm just gonna work off memory bc I'm an idiot 😭

If I miss anything please tell me!!!! I'm once again really sorry and will defenestrate myself once I'm done with this! (How tf did I lose AN ASKKK??? ITS NOT EVEN A PHYSICAL THING!?) I made this into a review bc yes

It contains like spoilers ig? It's actually not even spoilers I don't think I'd call it one because it doesn't ruin the show for anyone at all just unnecessary info provided ahead

OK HERE WE GO

Lockwood and Co: Worth watching?

Ok so, Lockwood and Co. I'm so glad you're liking it so far!! It's honestly such a good series you need to finish it ! However, if you want more context/info (because let's be fair books have more information than shows because obvi it contains thoughts of the characters that can't be said aloud in the shows) i definitely recommend reading through the books first!!! The books are from Lucy's perspective as far as I can remember and the sarcasm not only of her but every single other character is SO IMMENSE. Like all of them are so sarcastic at the most unexpected time it's actually hilarious. It's like they are meant for each other and became besties the moment they met like it's SO CUTE. it's banter and if you don't know me I'm an absolute banter girly LMAO

it's (in my absolutely correct opinion jkjk) one of THE best book series. I'm very picky when it comes to books (especially series where you have to spend quite a bit of money) but lemme tell you, this book was an absolute 1000000000000000000/10 for me. The way the book is presented, the characters are presented isn't a drag which is my problem with most books. it's a thriller right at the start. It provides relevant information, never digressing (unlike me LMAO) and never steering off-topic. Stroud knows how to capture it's readers and once you've made past the starting bit of the first book (the only bit that seems like a drag to me and it isn't really it's introducing characters so ykyk) you will absolute enjoy it if you love thriller books. Needless to say, it's one of my absolute favourite series for that exact reason. Thriller books to me are the equivalent to heaven because of how there's always something happening. There is a mystery and it's solved. You just need to be patient enough to reach the end of the books and WOOHOO! you've just finished a thriller book! and you loved it (ofc bc why wouldn't you)

The thing with me is that i hate anything that isn't a sick twisted mystery with a bajillion plot twists, supernatural things and contains people that yield weapons.

Favourite Lockwood and Co book?

Yes there are 5 books in the series! I got gifted the first two Lockwood and Co books buy a friend and lemme tell you I thought I wouldn't like them at all. Boy was I wrong. I feel like it takes ages to find some book that you actually like. Finding a book/movie genre is similar to finding a music taste! It's all subjective. All opinion based (well apart from the fact that Lockwood and Co is the best book series to ever exist. That's completely objective). If you like supernatural stuff, books that keep you on the edge of your seat etc then Lockwood and Co is very much recommended.

My favourite book is either 4 or 5. 4 is the creeping shadow and if I remember correctly it contains info about Lockwood's past. It gives insight on him and his character and everything else so I love it! If you're wanting to read book 4 however, I definitely recommend reading the earlier books first because they are in order and it's just better that way ykyk. 5 is the empty grave (I read that book by borrowing it from the library LMAO). I love it because well first of all it's the last book in the series: kinda bittersweet but ykyk. And secondly, because it's such an immersive book. I mean that the case with every single book in the series but 5 specially.

You didn't ask this but my favourite character is definitely the skull! I love his absolutely sarcastic nature he's just absolutely hilarious. And he helps but in such an indirect way it's hard to tell! And he's sarcastic all the time to the point that you can't tell when he isn't!!!

Locklyle Romance

You are absolutely right in that the romance is a major part of the series unlike the books. The book contains quite a bit of tension but sometimes that tension can be felt better when you're watching then when you're reading. Also, lockwood and co is about supernatural ghost hunting saving the world sorta thing. So, while the books explore some romantic themes, it isn't solely about romance. Nowadays, almost all shows contain romance: doesn't matter if it's comedy, horror, thriller, mystery and whatnot. Romance has become such a recurring theme in shows, movies etc it's hard to find shows without romance. Lockwood and Co as a netflix show and book ofc doesn't contain STRONG romantic themes. This allows it to be a show for comparatively younger kids. Not like super super young but like not 15+ either. It's a well balanced show: contains a bit of everything. The tension however leaves people wanting to see Locklyle be a thing.

In my opinion, the romance and tension makes the people want to watch more for more than one reason which I think is a start move from the creators side. I LOVE Locklyle and I am the #1 Locklyle shipper because they're so cute (poor George). And they're both so oblivious it actually makes me want to kms because JUST KISS ALREADY!! My favourite Locklyle scene is either the toast one or when she's calming him down outside (I don't want to spoil it for you or anyone so I'll be very vague) I also love the bandage one but like Lucy calming him down one is so CUTE! I'm not sure if you've already seen that it might be in later episodes so I'll be really vague. Also the toast scene>>>>!! get yourself a man who looks proud after giving you a buttered toast it's actually so cute I love Lockwood smmmm

UNFORTUNATELY, NETFLIX DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THAT AND AS FAR AS I KNOW IT CANCELLED (CANCELLED!) THE SHOW.

If netflix doesn't change it's mind, I will find out where the person who cancelled it lives and make them be a ghost in a new Lockwood and Co book written by me which will be based on a true story 😇

Anyways, I had SO MUCH FUN. TYSM NADINE (also is it okay if I call you that?) ILYSM and sorry about the stupid ask disappearing without my consent 😭

[taegularities]

Hiiii, new follower here.

I stumbled across 'ruined' a while back, it's been my first fic of yours and now I'm really curious about your other works!!! I'd been a somewhat silent reader tho, but I'm hoping to change that!

Honestly, ruined was such a ride. One of the best works I'd read, hands down. The build-up between the characters, their exchange, had me on the edge of the seat the whole damn time- like the way you portrayed the atmosphere between them; It was tense yet relaxed, like I knew they surely wouldn't make a move on the other, even if the thought was constantly bugging them in the back of their mind, and its effect only made the air thicker. Idk if I'm making sense lmao but I personally loved how that played out, the build-ups, explosions, lows, highs, jeeez. And Tae's ptsd just felt so real, it was as if I saw those memories flash past, your use of imagery is just *chef's kiss*. You did such a great job on it, like I was kicking in my seat aksjkwkdjjdkf.

I've been a writer myself for quite a long time now, but have never really posted my works on public platforms (scared of plagiarism ig?), but having said that, I encourage you to keep doing what you do. Ik how audience response varying over time can be discouraging, but gotta push through it ig.

I'm hoping to cover your other works real soon and post my thoughts on it if you don't mind!

omg hi!!!! you can drop by anytime (i promise i usually answer quicker 😭), and it's so genuinely sweet of you to want to reach out!! ruined was one of the best works??? stop, this is so nice 😭 as far as i remember, i had such a wonderful time writing it and i loved them so much, so it's crazy that it reached you just the same 🥺 you're so right!! there was an unspoken tension for sure, and she was trying, but tae had to heal a little :') idk if you have yet, but if you want, you can read the backstory – the entire ruin you series! i think all those emotions you're feeling now will be magnified by a dozen :') no pressure ofc hehe!!

i will try my best!! 🥺 it's very cool that you write as well, though, and i hope it's been fun for you. plagiarism is always a worry yeah ugh… but if you ever want to show the world what your mind conjures, def go for it <3 thank you for reading, and i hope you like my other stuff just as much, if not more, if you do get to it 🥺 i don't mind at all hehe always here to chat 🤍

[yourlocalsimpsonsandsanriofan]

💫A goofy AHHH review💫

hey guys it's ya boi Rusty here again!! and I'm here to review:

Yes yes, I can hear y'all now saying "but it's made for kids" "bro why are u watching this" 🤓☝

Stop right there, bud. ✋

This show is pretty good so far, all things considered! I decided to watch it for the nostalgia (and for mah boi Smee ofc!)!! I watched this show a little bit when I was younger, so I remember it fairly well. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it isn't cringe! (Well, some parts are a little iffy but we'll get to that in a minute.) It's actually tolerable and even made me laugh at some parts!

💫The songs💫

The songs aren't that good, in fact their kinda cringe. (But ofc I gotta go easy on this show cuz yes, it is intended for little kids with no brain cells.) At the end of every episode (wich usually consists of two episodes ranging from 15 minutes long each, making up the 30 minute mark.) There's these two ideots called Sharky and Bones who sing a song, and it's cringe. The lyrics arent funny, and their singing isn't even that good. I get that the humer is supposed to have zero brain cells, but come on guys. U gotta try a bit harder than that. The background music for the episodes is ok, nothing I would casually listen to though.

💫The characters💫

We have a few new characters to add to the Peter Pan universe by the names of Jake, Cubby (WHY ARE THEIR TWO CUBBYS?!), Izzy, Skully, Sharky and Bones. (And Captain Hook and Mr. Smee of course!!) The character designs are good, they work well for everyone, except Hook. Hook just looks weird in this art style honestly. And at first I didn't like Smee's design in this, but it grew on me. (The og is still better though!) In fact, he might even look kinda cute! :D

The voice acting for them is great too!! Its very expressive and something you wouldn't normally get from a kids show. The new voice actors for Smee and Hook almost sound IDENTICAL to the og's! There are some minor differences, but nothing to really make me get annoyed at. The animation is smooth and fluid too! I can tell that they used computer Riggs, but it's barely even noticeable! Which from what I heard, computer Riggs are pretty hard to do. So thats honestly impressive!

💫The insecurities of Jake and The Neverland Pirates💫

First off, I wanna talk about how Smee is portrayed. In the og movie, he's supposed to be a bumbling ideot (but a lovable ideot imo!). In this series, he seems to have a few brain cells, which I dislike. They didn't stay true to his character! Neither did they with Hook. He isn't that goofy anymore, neither is he evil, but he's in between. I can't really describe it, but something is off with his personality.

Like I said before, the music isn't very good, and neither is the pacing of each episode. It's inconsistent and feels too slow at times. The plot points for each episode are predictable too. The kids find something to play with, and Hook wants whatever it is and steals it and they take it back etc etc. The dabloons make no sense either! They collect dabloons each episode for their chest, but why?! What does it accomplish?! Maybe Im not smart enough to understand but that makes no sense to me. It's repetitive too, but not to the point where u want to shove a gun into the side of your head and call it quits. Like I said, it's tollerable! It does feel like Micky Mouse Clubhouse though (I HATE MICKEY MOUSE CLUBHOUSE.), but with Peter pan 💀

💫Conclusion💫

I like this show, and I think it's cute! It has potential!! Maybe just get rid of the repetitiveness and the cringe songs and it could be good! I reccomend this is you want the nostalgia from your chilhood (well technically I'm still a kid but whatever LOL)!!

That's my thoughts on this show! I haven't finished the first season yet, but maybe my views will change, but well see. But when they do, I'll keep u posted!! Thanks for reading this and I hope you have a spectacular day/night!!! I love you :D❤❤

(Oh yeah one last thing I gotta note is that Smee actually referred to Hook as "your greatness" 🤨 idk man..)