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#i made a reblog talking abt it if you read this far into the tags
tickledbreathless · 7 months
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Hailing from the east coast, ladies gentlemen and nonbinary folks, here comes an introduction post!
What’s my name? I’m gonna go by Ame (pronounced “Am”). Sound good? I think so too. 😊
Age and Gender? Currently 23 and a guyy so hit me with those he/him pronouns!
This ain’t my first go around here. However, I’d like to start fresh. If I reconnect with old friends, then they can know who I am/was. No tea to be spilt on my past here, pinky swear. ✨ It’s just that a lot of people have left since I myself left, so it feels too complicated to pick up from there when most people wouldn’t remember me anyway. More so aiming to casually exist.
What can I say other than I’m a nerd. I like nerdy stuff (ahem… minecraft, mario, pokemon, mha, marvel, more), so I might go unskippable cutscene on you if you talk to me abt the right thing 😭
Tickling. Yep, I like it. You can call me a switch as one might do!
It’s a kink blog. Sure, I’ll post/reblog about forms of tickling that can considered sfw, nsfw, or possibly outside of the realm of a kinky context, BUT this is still a kink blog.
NSFW will be tagged.
What kind of tickling? Whatever tickles my own fancy, I suppose. Teasy posts, tickling gifs, drawings. Probably some non-tickling stuff as well if I’m just feeling silly 🤭
18+ so minors and ageless bios DO NOT INTERACT !!!! Have your age in your bio. If you aren’t of age or don’t have your age in your bio and you interact with me, I’ll just block you immediately, so get it right the first time even if you’re of age.
Asks are allowed and encouraged! Keep is respectful and uncreepy or I’ll put rocks into your cereal.
Sending Teases/Tickle Talk? In DMs, i prefer to get to know people before tickle talk becomes involved. However, teases sent in asks are alright, but I reserve the right to not respond to them. Gotta catch me in the right mood I suppose. <3
I do enjoy DMs as well! As long we respect each other’s boundaries, we’re good to go, but also don’t immediately start off about tickling, man… but if we get along good and have gotten to know each other, tickle talk, teases, and rp are fine by me ✨
Other kinks? W-well… yes… Gentle femdom, post orgasm, cnc, and tummy fetish /////
Also I may not always respond quickly to messages. I can get p busy some days, won’t respond to DMs while at work, and i guess when im Soooometimes touching grass. Please know that I may not be open to meeting every person who comes into my dms. I’m one person and I don’t have the time or energy to establish new connections all the time. Sorry.
It should go without saying but racism, homophobia, transphobia, whatever form of brainless hatred that festers like the disease it is is not allowed on this blog. You’re Not welcomed here.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading! I’ll edit this post if necessary. For now, I’m taking it slow here and I’m unsure as to what I’ll do with this blog.
That’s all I got for you all! Feel free to ask me questions if you’re curious about me or this blog! Enjoy your day, giggly people 🪶
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changewingwentz · 1 month
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Pinned tweet aka on what to expect here !✨
High time to make an intro now that new people keep visiting my account, so here are the basics
About me!
Name: Hack/Rosalind (main preference but go ham with the others) I also go by Matilda, Darnell, Kitty, Bluebell, Sucy, and Lithop
Sexuality: Ace-demiromantic
Gender: Non binary genderdoe but in the end just a lil guy made of stardust 🌙🫧
Pronouns: They/them/infinity/infinity’s only use she/her if we’re mutuals plz
I don’t mind a preference but prefer towards more masc/neutral identities !
Age : 20
I’m a South East Asian and currently in college !
DNI
homophobic, transphobic, racist, a zionist and/ be “neutral” abt it, or basically a bigot (basically a hard block)
Pro-shipper (do not test me either)
NSFW accs (an adult but not comfortable with you following)
P!ATD (ppl who like the music pre DOAB but don’t support brendon are exceptions) and TØP fans
Identity reveal and/ breaking the boundaries of the ST members anonymity, have some decency
My Tags:D
#hackus art —> My Exclusive Art tag!
#hackus rambles —> the only talking tag
#queueing the end of the eeearth —> miscellaneous/fave post queueing tag
Interests :
AKA what you’ll see from this acc, I have a lot of interests just not talked abt here
The great ace attorney/ Dai gyakuten Saiban⚠️ dgs 2 spoilers untag ahead ⚠️
Sleep Token ⚠️occasional body horror token hc reblog ⚠️
IDKHOW
Fall out boy
Sherlock Holmes (Granada/TGAA/ACD/Ritchieverse/Sherlock hound/ maybe some TGMD)
Motionless in white
Villainous
The Glass Scientists (maybe some MAZM I think that’s the only j&h things I’m familiar with beside the book but that’s it shout out to Me, myself, and Hyde by ice nine kills for this lol)
Disastrous life of Saiki K
Wild kratts
BBC Ghosts
TADC
Alright that’s all ! If you made it this far thank you for reading!🫶
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raelle-writing · 1 year
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hiii first of all so sorry for the spam 🫶 second of all i just caught up with iyhstl i spent the whole afternoon reading it i just wanted to stop by and say. u really took me on quite a journey there like wow 😭😭😭
i'm glad i waited for a while bc the angst..... bro...... like that was a lot. but it was so worth it them getting together was so sweet and i'm so happy they finally made it 🥹🥹🥹 (also the way everyone else had to tell vegas that he loves pete it's so tragic but it's so funny) also i just wanted to say that u did such a good job with kp's storyline so far i thought it'd be not as interesting to me as vp's (obviously bc vp supremacy vp on the brain always) but it's so good??? also the way everything is so connected and aaaaa i could talk abt it for hours. like i'm so serious this fic is so good. i'm so jealous of ur writing skills 😭🫶
anyways i won't bother u any longer thank u sm for sharing ur writing with us 🥺🥺🥺 i hope u have a great day and don't forget to stay hydrated 💞💞💞
OMG don't apologize dreamy! I enjoyed seeing my phone blow up and I did get a laugh on your choice of timing in reading again from this chapter kalhdgkhglkh and I saw your tag to that effect bahahahahaha
Thank you for all of your kind words 🥺🥺🥺 it means a lot to know you love my story so much! It's been SO much fun to build the world and let all the characters grow and breathe and weave everything together ahhhhhhhh just thank you for saying all those nice things 😭 the journey comment is REAL though, man. And we're not NEARLY done yet either! I still have a bunch of fun planned for everyone hehehehehe
Thank you again for the reblogs (I always love your tags) and for dropping me this message! It was very sweet 💞
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durandal · 2 years
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sorry if I'm intruding or anything, but I was glad to see u in my notes; that one like of the xbc1 art reblog made me feel Heard
And I've been struggling to analyze my feelings on xbc1 for the past couple weeks, cause it was so dreadful, but it also had a few seeds of good in it. But mostly it was dreadful. and I wish it was more creative! cause they nailed the setting, but everything else played out by the tropes and I think I'll just be sad about Zanza as a villain for a while, lmao.
You don't have to reply to this or anything & I hope this isn't annoying! I just don't have anyone to talk to about this, especially cause I don't want to be torn to shreds for saying xbc1 is anything but a masterpiece :')
its not annoying at all!! your tag is an interesting read cuz like, thats how i feel abt zanza too. in fact, i feel egil was a better antagonist than zanza. coming from someone who loves 1, the story is far from perfect and its nowhere near a masterpiece. i esp agree so much abt what you said w fiora and meyneth. 😭 i wish it was explored more and i wish fiora wasnt reduce to "shulk's lover".
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dyketubbo · 3 years
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intro post (cleaned up a bit.. again!)
basic summary: my name is dyke/eyez/circus/mask/whatever you wanna call me, im a minor, im nd and a qpoc, i use any pronouns but he/him (and dont like masc terms, including bro, dude, guy, lad, stuff like that), and im apart of a system.
dni if youre against any kind of minority (includes racists, terfs, truscum, queer exclus of any kind [yes, even mspec lesbian exlus], etc etc), support ccs like schlatt uncritcally/actively like him, are nsfw, ship irl ppl (even ones that are okay with it), do x reader stuff with ccs, truth ccs at all, believe fiction doesnt effect reality/are a pro shipper/anti anti, or dont tag triggering things like zoophilia n stuff. dont be romantic or sexual towards me at all, and dont talk about touching me w/o asking. also dont interact if youre fine with those kind of ppl and actively interact w them (only exception to that last one is if you interact w ppl who like cc!schlatt, idc about that as much as long as theyre critical of him)
i like benchtrio the most but keep up w/ everyone best i can and like analyzing and drawing. im really sensitive and kind of an asshole so. bare w/ me if i lash out or am too much or something.
currently we have small intros of us per member on a page (/systemstuff) but dyke n grass will talk the most (mostly dyke). ty for reading, i hope you have a nice day and if its late for you, feel free to go get some rest. if its daytime, go eat!! or hydrate if you havent.
follows/likes and stuff will come from @/cottonskittles, reblog/like spam is ok, i dont care how people interact w me or my posts as long as they dont breach my boundaries, i think thats it but feel free to ask questions if u need clarification. more stuff under da cut
hi howdy just some more in depth stuff
im bad w tone so like. if you make fun of tone indicators or think theyre unnecessary/annoying (unless talking about excessive use/people using them as an excuse to be mean n stuff) probably dont interact w me because while i can interpret messages w/o them my own tone is often unreadable so i use them for the sake of others
story wise wise i usually look for benchtrio stuff, but i also try to keep up with everyones lore! theyre all important to the story in some way :]. however due to the themes surrounding them c!dream and c!schlatt make me uncomfy, and i only receive secondhand info abt the torture stuff bc its uncomfy too. also im personally critical of c!techno and i know that esp bothers a lot of ppl so yknow. warning to stay away this blog might piss you off
dni wise dont be a bigot. if youre against minorities of any kind fuck off, dont follow if youre nsfw or make nsfw content of childrens media, uhmm for personal sake regarding themes on the dsmp remember to like. tag cult stuff, drug use (esp underage), zoophilia, pda, and cannibalism if ur gonna follow me. tyyy. also dont follow if ur uncritical of some of the things various ccs involved have done (this is vague bc i know theres misinformation on dream and techno specifically but theres still shit thats actually been done and of course uh. the whole schlatt situations), and generally dont follow if you outright like cc!schlatt (c!schlatt likers r fine). like im not gonna make a big deal out of it but i will at the very least softblock because he makes me. really uncomfortable. you can interact n stuff just dont follow. dont interact if you use the new pan flag its gross and ugly and i dont agree with why it was made. and dni if youre a pro shipper (even if its to cope- find better coping mechanism thanks im a survivor and it makes me relapse to even think about pro shipping, actively romanticizing pedophilia, incest, age gaps, etc in media and then pretending like its just shipping discourse is Fucking Disgusting and i hate it), and dni if you like genderbend stuff it makes me uncomfy
also this is specific but if youre nonblack and weird about aave i will fucking murder you. n if you make suicide jokes please at least tag them. if you tell people to seriously kill themselves or joke abt "do a flip" or w/e or find that funny then dont interact w me at all
non dni wise w/ boundaries dont use masc terms for me, dont like.. talk about kissing me or flirting with me or anything, dont call me smart or a good person (just a personal thing. you can use synonyms if you really want), ask before talking about touching me, i have mirror touch so when people describe physical touch in any way i can feel it and thats uncomfortable. dont call me a liar, anddd dont make too many sexual references w/ me. keep it to the level thats like, present in beeduo streams but dont talk to me about kinks or anything even as a joke. finally make sure to tag things w /p if you mean it platonically around me, its for comforts sake. feel free to talk or message or ask for other socials or whatever idc about any of that
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thatsss all for now. i do analyses ig, also art. have a doodle of my sona to tide u over under this paragraph. sorry for rambling, im not good at summarizing my thoughts and i have a lot to say. ok thats all thank you if you got this far and read it all i rlly appreciate you /gen. i was milfsmp but i didnt want to take the chance that someone would call me milf as a nickname
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your-world-with-nct · 3 years
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— 2020 has been a wild year for all of us and let me start this off by saying well done to us all for simply making it through this crazy ride - if surviving this year was your biggest achievement, that’s completely okay, and i am so proud of you for being here today !! despite the many, let’s say, mishaps, that have occurred this year, both nct and nctzens have been key in my 2020 and i couldn’t be more grateful for them, so i decided to make a little appreciation post of my own before the year ends 🥰
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— to my followers ;
my petals !! i can’t believe i started off this year with around 300 followers and i’m now nearing 600 🙈 this account has grown so much this year and it’s all thanks to you. if you’ve ever come across my blog, liked or reblogged a piece of mine, sent me an ask, or pressed that follow button, i want you to know that i am so grateful for you and thank you for enjoying my works 🥺 hopefully 2021 will carry the same positive energy here on your-world-with-nct as it has this year and i’m hoping that you’ll be seeing a lot more fics in the near future 👀 once again, i love you petals <3
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— to my dearest mutuals ;
@emistoomultifandom
em bubs !!! i know i could easily do this on any other app or even irl but i just wanted to thank you for making my year 🥺 my lockdown wouldn’t have been the same without us constantly texting and fangirling and our ty track/bfc reunion on my birthday was elite. and obviously this new school year has been an adventure and a half so far, with all the lunch time shenanigans, revision sessions, and exam stress, but i can’t wait for the rest of it 🙈 i am so grateful that i had you by my side during 2020 and i am eternally thankful that i’ll be able to go into the new year with you by my side once again 🧡💚💜
@misfitneo
bella - my first mutual, my tumblr mum - it feels like just yesterday that you wrote a beomgyu blurb for me after seeing my pink theme; now you’ve finished college and i’m applying to colleges 🙈i know we haven’t been able to talk as much recently but that doesn’t mean i appreciate your presence any less - i’m so proud of you for getting into med school and pursuing your dream 🥺🥺 i hope that this year treated you well, and that 2021 treats you even better 💞
@nsheeteeish
loml, almost birthday-twin, fellow leo and xiaojaem stan, fave writer - what do these things have in common? they all apply to v, or, yeet anon, if you remember the days where i ranted to you about my crush and you were a baby stay 😪 not only have you delivered such amazing content on ur writing and gif blogs, but you have provided so much comfort and joy to me whenever we message with dilay 🤧 i look forward to checking your blog every day for new posts and my twt and insta notifs in case you’ve sent me something or you’ve seen what i sent you 🙈 the fact that you think of me when you see certain things just warms my heart and you’re just such a caring person in general, thank you for being a part of my 2020 v, all the best wishes for your 2021 🖤
@cloudyangers
dilay !!! my resident yangqi and the person i think of straight away whenever i see yangyang 😚 i remember when you first requested that e2l chenle blurb back in 2019 and now the only chenle stan between us is v 😁 finding you on this app again after i forgot what ur skz blog’s url was, was just amazing and i don’t know what my tumblr experience would be like without me being able to reconnect with you 🥺 thank you for being able to make me laugh effortlessly with our lack of geography knowledge and our random antics, i will always look forward to seeing the username @cloudy_____ on my dash and screaming over renhyuckyang (+ sungchan 👀) with you for years to come 🤍
@nctsoftarchives
andi bb, my fellow dad!johnny stan 🥺 seeing you post a jaemin birthday blurb for me after your return to tumblr was so sweet and i can’t believe your first post after coming back was dedicated to me 🤧 i remember the day i first messaged you and you were gushing over how you were a big fan of mine and i said the same about you - we were just going back and forth about how much we love each other’s work 😌 you are such a talented writer and you are so full of love - wishing all the best for you in the coming new year babie 🥰
@jensungf
coming across leyna’s blog after reading that jsmr fic was the best decision, because not only have i befriended a brilliant writer, but also a jensung enthusiast who is just the kindest 🥺🥺 i think now would be a good time to tell you that despite jeno’s bias wrecking antics back in august, i actually bias jisung now 😃 i know we haven’t talked in a while, because of our busy schedules, but i hope you’re resting well and i hope that 2021 won’t be as hectic for you 💟
@doyoungcore
joyce, i know we only started talking recently but the serotonin boost both you and your works have given me this year is just incredible and i am so thankful for your warm personality on your blog and for your amazing fics 🤧 i started off as a silent reader who gushed about your writing in the tags but now i’m friends with such a talented writer and we just casually ramble about doie and jaems biases and writing struggles,,, wow 🤯 (btw took some of ur tips on editing headers 🙈) i hope that next year we can expand our friendship and that i can continue to give you the feedback you deserve 🥺💕
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— favourite reads of the year ;
i have reblogged all of these to my main @/lovelycharm05 before, but i just wanted these masterpieces on here with everyone since these fics are so memorable and enjoyable to me <3 (beware there is lots of me gushing over how f&%#ing good all these writing techniques and plot devices are - can you tell i’m an eng lit nerd)
@nsheetee - moonlight café
obviously v released so many iconic pieces this year but this series was just *chef’s kiss* coffee shop au’s are the cutest to me because you can do so many different things with them, and you truly showcased that through each members’ part. although i am nahyuck biased (out of all the 00 liners), i have a soft spot for jeno’s part 🥺🤧 but that doesn’t mean i’m not obsessed with jealous jaems and cocky hyuck 🙈
@notnctu - to all the j’s i loved before
the very first work i ever read of yours, joyce 🥺🥺 i remember seeing an nct network reblog this and after reading through the summary of the series, i was enticed by the plot and i read most of your masterlist whilst waiting for the next parts 🤧 the main character’s relationship with each ‘j’ was unique to them and their interactions were just so sweet to read (except jaemin’s >:( why did my ult’s part have to be the angsty one 😤 jk jk i loved it anyways) special mention to ‘cupid’s arrow’, because that fic was an emotional rollercoaster and i loved that almost as much as i love bestfriend!jungwoo in the last part 😌
@misfitneo - lee haechan’s pride
it would be a sin if i didn’t include this in my top reads this year, pun intended 😌, especially since i have a weakness for mafia aus. i haven’t had the time to read mark or renjun’s parts yet, but from what i read in this fic, i’m sure theirs are just as good, if not better. the storybuilding and the development of the plot are so detailed and intricate and that is what i love in a fic. i already reviewed this on my main with a lengthy description of my favourite parts so i’m gonna keep this short and sweet - if you love haechan, mafia au’s, and enemies to lovers, you need to read this !!
@jensungf - passing clouds + only forever
these fics hit different now that i bias jisung 😭 ‘passing clouds’ was pure angst and as much as it hurt, it was written so beautifully and i loved it so much. ‘only forever’ healed the jisung shaped hole in my heart and made me fall in love with him all over again. the first love vibes he gives off is unbelievable and that innocence was presented perfectly in this 🤧 side note: never let jisung bake for you even if it’s as a peace offering 😖
@hyucksie - in the long run + second first kiss
although ‘sweet talk’ and ‘silent treatment’ are also contenders for some of my favourite fics of the year, these two have taken the cake 😌 the concept itself of time travel and mark and y/n seeing their future child was so creative and the mixed emotions that the characters experienced seeing their future were executed so well and the ending when their actual future selves remembered the day they time travelled 🥺🥺 not to mention the sequel doesn’t feel forced at all, the story flows well, and jealous mark is a cutie 🥰
@luvdsc - not clickbait
i’ve been following cat after i first read ‘i turned my best friend into an e-boy!! (and kissed him)’ and ever since then every piece of hers that i’ve read is simply breathtaking and so engaging. her style of writing is so unique and whenever i read anything of hers i feel so immersed in the fic. the dreamies as youtubers and tiktokers was such a cute concept to me and the little comment section at the end of each fic is probably my favourite part 😳 the way each member’s fic connects to the plot of another is perfect and their cameos in one another’s fic >>> (jisung telling y/n about the tiktok challenge in mark’s fic + cameraman jisung in chenle’s) i could keep talking abt this series for a lot longer but i’ll end it here, also i can’t wait for norensung’s parts 💞💞
@pwarkhans - the neo academy
i’ve probably mentioned my love for ‘the umbrella academy’ before but THIS !!! this series just made me love it even more 🙈 despite yangyang’s part being the only one that’s out, that and the prologue are interesting enough and seeing the 00 liners in this alternate universe is honestly amazing jxjwjxkw jaemin as three and hyuck as two is everything. the brothers’ relationship, especially in yangyang’s part, is so complicated yet so cute and i can’t wait for the rest of the members’ parts 💘
@yongtxt - vintage
when i first stumbled across this series, i was immediately intrigued by the plot, and not just because it was about rapper!mark and singer!y/n🧑‍🦯🧑‍🦯 the side characters (dreamies + doie and jisoo) were so funny and well-written and the plot >>>> i was so invested in the twists and turns of the story, the relief i felt when the conflict was finally resolved and we got our fav musician couple !!
@byunbaekby - apartment b23
i only found this series recently but wow am i invested in the plot already 😭😭 the conflict in the story is realistic and feels like something you could actually relate to. norenmin’s friendship/bond is so strong and evident through the story and the side characters are my babies (heejin, shuhua, lia - ily 🤧) i can’t wait for the rest of this series since i am a sucker for the perfect balance of angst, fluff, and crack in this 🥰
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— favourite works of the year ;
unfortunately i haven’t had enough time to release any fics this year, and i’m hoping that that won’t be the case next year, but here are my top 5 favourite blurbs that i enjoyed writing and reading <3
1:48pm -> dad!johnny
one of the most popular blurbs on my blog to this day 🥺 honestly i get why, who doesn’t love dad!johnny? hyejoo is literally so adorable here and the family dynamics make me soft all over again whenever i reread this piece. also everyone’s reactions and replies to this are so heartwarming because everyone’s just whipped for the suh family 🙈
1:05pm -> soulmate!taeyong
i love soulmate au’s but something always irked me with the permanence of your soulmate like ,,, what if you end up falling out of love with them? then what? that inspired me to write my own take on soulmates, where they aren’t found, but made. taeyong’s character here is just so full of love and you know how much i love lovable boys 🤧 (ever wondered why i ult na jaemin...?)
12:13pm -> boyfriend!mark
7dream!!!! i don’t usually write domestic fluff even though it’s one of the genres i indulge in the most 😔 but when i do, i go all out because everyone needs to know how soft i am for my boys >:( mark’s love for the dreamies is so unique and i love their friendship so much, i had to write about it when i first heard about the 7dream announcement which i definitely did not cry at
11:40pm -> boyfriend!jeno
this was one of the first requests i ever got and i was just so touched than someone personally requested something from me AND it was jeno 🥺🥺 everytime i read the tags under this, everyone is just gushing over jeno and like,,, same 🙈 this type of fluff >>>
waking up with wayv -> wayv reaction
when em first requested this, i didn’t exactly know how to write something for each member without being too repetitive, but in the end, i loved the mini plots i wrote for them and it’s just one of my underappreciated faves 🥰
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— favourite releases of the year ;
just a few of my favourite albums that got me through online school and revision sessions for offline school 🥲 ft. lots of nct + october albums bc that month was PACKED
nct 2020 - resonance pt1 + pt2
nct 127 - neozone: the final round
nct dream - ridin’
wayv - awaken the world
superm - super one
enhypen - border: day one
twice - eyes wide open
txt - minisode1: blue hour
seventeen - semicolon
stray kids - go live + in life
itzy - not shy
conan gray - kid krow
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if you’ve managed to read all the way to the end, congrats for putting up with my lengthy and very sappy sentiment and sorry that you had to go through all of that 😭😭 thank you for being a part of my 2020, i hope that the new year allows us all to have a fresh start and brings us the opportunities we didn’t have this year. happiest new year to you all 🥳 (even tho it’s not 2021 yet when i’m posting this :))
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izzy-b-hands · 5 years
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The Taste of Blood
So here’s that vampire AU for Sledgefu I talked abt a while back. It falls into the two other AUs I’ve created thus far, Horror Movie and NOLA. This specific vampire one is going under the Demolition Lovers AU tag (because yes, this was inspired by the first MCR album in part.) Title is taken from one of my fave tracks on the Only Lovers Left Alive soundtrack (another inspiration for this AU.)
This is another one that might have some sequels, I’m still playing with the idea based on some other sources of inspiration! In any case I don’t think I can leave it with just this one piece.
My love to all who read/like/reblog!
“I think we should call my dad,” Eugene touched the mirror he was looking into, waiting for his reflection to appear, but it didn’t. “We’re both obviously sick. I mean...I can’t even see my reflection, and I know it’s there. It has to be.” 
Snafu moved behind him and peered into the mirror. “Where? I don’t see mine either.” 
“We’re both losin’ it,” Eugene muttered miserably. He didn’t want to call his dad, hadn’t even tried since he’d left to find Snafu in New Orleans. But he also didn’t want to go to any of the local doctors, and as it was they’d both started to develop an intense sensitivity to sunlight. Even if they’d wanted to see a doctor in town, they’d have to somehow convince one to make a house call at night. 
He moved back to the couch, where they’d both been sleeping for the past week since the trouble had all started, and picked up his glass of water. Neither of them could keep anything down, but they kept trying water in the hopes of at least being slightly hydrated. 
He sipped, and immediately gagged and brought it back up, nearly choking as his stomach contracted violently at the water inside of it. 
“Baby,” Snafu whimpered softly, pulling him gently back onto the couch. “No more water. Just gonna make yourself more sick.” 
“That isn’t possible,” Eugene protested. “We’re sick, so we need fluids. Give me your wrist, we can at least do a pulse check.” 
“Alright Florence,” Snafu sighed and held out his wrist. They’d been doing these checks all week, with their pulses getting fainter and fainter with each passing day. Eugene was worried, but he didn’t know what he could possibly do to try and fix it. Nothing was working, and they both looked worse with every hour. 
“What the fuck,” Eugene spat, and moved up Snafu’s arm, then to his neck, searching for a pulse anywhere. Nothing. 
“Check me,” Eugene said, his hands shaking at the thought of what Snafu was (or rather wasn’t) going to find. 
Snafu did the same, moving from pressure point to pressure point, anywhere, searching for a pulse. “Uh. Eugene.” 
“I know, I know, I know,” he felt like he couldn’t breathe, and suddenly noticed how stiff the air felt in his lungs. The air went in and out, and he was still breathing, but it felt...off. “This isn’t possible. We’re dreaming. Or dead. Or something.” 
“I think we are dead,” Snafu said quietly. “I think I know what’s wrong.” 
“I gotta call my dad, now. Before we pass out and-” 
“Eugene,” Snafu interrupted, and grabbed a hold of his hands, just tight enough to keep him sitting on the couch. “You aren’t gonna wanna believe me. And that’s fine, cause I don’t wanna believe me either. But...you remember how we brought Hugo home late last week?” 
Eugene did. It had been a bit spur of the moment, but they’d been talking to Hugo for the past few months, meeting up with him most nights to hang out. It had always edged up near wanting to bring him back to their bed, but it had taken them until Friday of that last week to finally feel brave enough to ask him to come back home with them. 
“What do you remember from that night?” 
Eugene blushed. There was a lot he remembered, a lot of fun and good things. But he couldn’t remember much after. 
“I know I found a weird rash on my neck. Figured Hugo and you were just overly enthusiastic about the hickeys.” 
Snafu shook his head. “Still got the rash?” 
Eugene moved his collar to show it off. Two small red dots, evenly spaced. 
Snafu undid the first few buttons of his shirt and showed off the same. 
“Okay, so Hugo was a little rough. What’re you gettin’ at, sweetheart?” Eugene laughed. 
“We’ve never seen Hugo during the day. He bar tends some nights, but otherwise he doesn’t work. He dresses like he’s at least five years behind everyone else, and his teeth are...well, you’ve seen them,” Snafu continued. “I...this is everything my family made fun of growing up. All the ‘spooky’ parts of the city that the tourists fall for. But...” 
“But what?” 
“Some folks always used to warn about vampires. The city’s old, and you can melt right into it. Where else would you go if you couldn’t die and wanted somewhere you could just be and party or hide away or do whatever else you wanted?” Snafu asked. 
“Are you saying you think Hugo’s a vampire?” 
Snafu looked at the floor, and Eugene sighed internally over how pale he looked. How pale they both looked. Whatever this was, it was eating them alive. 
“And you think he turned us, but it’s just now...taking full effect or something?” 
“Don’t say it like that,” Snafu protested. “You think I like thinking that this is what it is, what we’ve got? This wasn’t my first option for a diagnosis.” 
“Okay, I’m sorry I just...you know how it sounds. I know you do.” 
Snafu nodded, sighed, and dropped his head into his hands. “There’s ways to find out. I mean...it’ll feel silly, but if we do some of these tests, and then it turns out it isn’t this, then we can move past it.” 
“Fair enough,” Eugene agreed. “What tests do you know of?” 
“Well, we failed the first one. No reflection. Failed the second one. Can’t keep any food or water down. Failed the third one. Don’t have a pulse anymore. I’ve got one more, but you aren’t gonna like it,” Snafu replied. He went to the fridge and pulled out the meat they’d picked up from the butcher on Monday. 
It slowly dawned on Eugene what the test was, and his stomach turned. “Oh no.” 
“Oh yes,” Snafu said, slicing into the meat with a knife from one of the kitchen drawers and draining the little bit of blood that came out into two glasses. “C’mere.” 
“I don’t think I can...” Eugene said. It looked repulsive, thickly settled at the bottom of the glass. 
“It’s old blood, but nothin’ we can do about that,” Snafu said, and handed over one of the glasses. “Bottoms up, darlin’.” 
He tossed it back like a shot after Snafu tossed back his, grimacing at the sensation of the blood as it slid down his throat. 
“Now what?” 
“We haven’t been able to keep anything down, so this should come up too,” Snafu replied. 
They stood at the kitchen counter and waited. And waited. And waited. 
“Jesus,” Eugene whimpered, and dropped to his knees, hiding his head against them as he wrapped his arms around himself. “Snaf-” 
“I know,” Snafu interrupted softly, and pulled him up to standing again. “Come on. Back to the couch we go. We’re gonna be alright.” 
“No, we aren’t,” Eugene heard himself whisper, horrified. “What the fuck, what the fuck what the-” 
“Shhh,” Snafu interrupted. “Can’t do nothin’ about this if we panic.” 
“We’re dead,” Eugene hissed. There was no other way around it. He was walking, talking, feeling the panic but with none of the usual heart-pounding. Because his heart no longer beat. Because they’d fucked a vampire, and now they were dead. 
“I know,” Snafu was alarmingly calm, and it made Eugene itchy to watch. As much as he valued Snafu being able to be cool and collected, he also couldn’t bear to be the only one freaking out. 
“We have to find Hugo,” Snafu continued. “May as well go straight to the source. I know going out sounds like shit right now, but we can do this.” 
They dressed, just barely presentable to be out of the house, and wandered down to the nearest bar. The sun had just recently gone down, but Eugene missed it. If this was all real, and he really had already had his last moment in the sun, then he wished he could have somehow known. He would have enjoyed it more. 
Hugo was behind the counter, working. But he looked like he wanted to jump the counter as he caught sight of them. 
Eugene let Snafu take charge of the situation. He was too weak, too tired to do much more than stand by Snafu and lean against him. 
“Hugo. We gotta talk,” Snafu called across the bar. 
Hugo winced as they stepped up to the bar counter. “You guys look like shit.” 
“Yeah. Feel like you might know somethin’ about that,” Snafu said. “Wanna take a moment in the back room with us so we can sort this out?” 
Hugo sighed. “Fine.” 
He led them to the back room, and Eugene let himself collapse onto the couch in the room with a groan. He’d felt better after the glass of disgusting, sludgy blood, but whatever effect it had given him had worn off. 
“I thought I had drained you both completely. You should be dead,” Hugo said, staring at them in amazement and confusion. 
“We are dead, asshole,” Eugene barked. 
“I mean...not dead like me. Completely dead. Not getting up and looking for blood to drink dead. Speaking of, have you guys been feeding? Because you look awful,” Hugo said. 
“Wow, thank you for again tellin’ us we look horrible after doin’ this to us,” Snafu spat as he dropped into a wooden chair near the couch. 
“I didn’t mean to,” Hugo protested. “I was going to just kill you both. I hadn’t fed in weeks...it was nothing personal, I swear.” 
“Hugo...this is is why you’re still single. I swear to fuckin’ god...” Snafu muttered. “Nothin’ personal. Jesus.” 
“I’m sorry, I really am,” Hugo continued. “Look, I can help you adjust to this. It’s the least I can do, and it’s what my maker did for me. Granted, he was also well off and not bar-tending to pay rent, but-” 
“Boo-fucking-hoo for you,” Eugene scoffed. “I’d say this is the least you can do.” 
Hugo sighed. “Clearly, whatever we had is gone. So I’ll do this. I’ll give you a list of places folks like us-” 
“Vampires,” Snafu interrupted. “I wanna hear you fucking say it.” 
“Vampires,” Hugo said. “Places where vampires like us can meet up for resources, help when you’re new and learning how to feed and how much to feed, things like that. I’ll give you my phone number, but you call me; I won’t call you. You only call if you’re comfortable with doing so or really need immediate help, okay?” 
Hugo grabbed a piece of stationary from a desk near one wall of the back room, and started to jot down the various places and people they could use as resources, and as he listened to the pen scratch Eugene’s heart sank. 
No more sunny walks in the park, or sunsets watched in between making out with Snafu. No more dinners they cooked together, learning new recipes. They’d have to quit their jobs, and find new ones with only night shifts, or they’d lose the house. No traveling, unless they were willing to drive all night while knowing they for sure had somewhere to hide during the day. 
And more killing. If they wanted to survive, there would have to be more killing. 
“For now...give me five,” Hugo said and handed Snafu the paper before ducking out of the room. He returned with one of the other bartenders, who calmly bared his neck to Snafu as he knelt down near him. 
“What the fuck is this?” Snafu scoffed. 
“Dinner,” Hugo spat. “Unless you wanna keep looking and feeling like death.” 
“We are dead!” Eugene screamed, forcing himself up off the couch even though every limb protested the effort. He strode towards Hugo faster than he intended to, unsure if it was his new state of being or his anger carrying him forward. He pushed him up against the nearest wall, and hissed. “We’re dead and it’s your fucking fault and-” 
He was suddenly incredibly aware of blood in Hugo’s veins, and before he could stop himself he latched onto Hugo’s neck, effectively stealing his dinner from within him. 
“Get him fucking off of me!” Hugo was screeching, caterwauling, but Eugene held tight onto him, hating how much he enjoyed the feeling of his now much sharper eyeteeth sinking into Hugo’s flesh, emptying his dead veins of his last meal. 
“Eugene! Enough!” Snafu pulled him away, and Hugo dropped to the floor, whimpering. 
“He deserved it,” he huffed. 
“I know,” Snafu said. “But what good is killin’ him gonna do us, huh? None. Let him live with the knowledge. I guarantee that’s worse than bein’ all the way dead.” 
“Neither of you are even up to my usual standard,” Hugo scoffed, still on the floor. The other bartender was staring at him, but made no move to retrieve him. “That’s what I get for fucking ugly goddamn-” 
It was his turn to hold Snafu back as he tried to race towards Hugo, shouting abuse right back at him, how he was a shitty fuck, how he was lucky they’d even allowed him near them to begin with. 
He dragged Snafu outside, regretting that he’d lost his cool. 
But he did feel better, with the blood he’d taken from Hugo. 
“Here,” he offered Snafu his wrist. “You’ll feel better. If we both feel a little healthier, then findin’ all of these people and places’ll be easier.” 
Snafu pulled him into a dark corner near an alley, and kissed him hard before moving his wrist up to his mouth. The feeling of Snafu’s teeth slipping into his wrist was something else, painful but not so much to make him do more than wince. It was almost erotic, especially when Snafu looked up at him, still drinking, his lips locked against the skin of his wrist. 
Which at least confirmed one thing he’d been mildly worried about, regarding blood flow. He didn’t know how it could still work, but he wasn’t going to question it when he had Snafu with blood on his lips, pulling him close and rutting against his hard cock. 
“Let’s go home,” Snafu murmured into his neck. “We can check out everything Hugo gave us tomorrow night.” 
Eugene nodded, but used a hand to carefully pull Snafu’s face back up towards his, and gently, with just the tip of his tongue, licked the drying blood from the corners of Snafu’s mouth before kissing him. 
He had figured it wouldn’t be a jubilant walk home, but he had expected to at least feel better, having gotten confirmation of it all. But he didn’t. He was tired and hungry despite having fed off of Hugo, and wanted nothing more than to fuck until the morning or until they were both too tired and sore to move, whatever came first. 
By the time they got inside, however, he was only half-hard and he could tell Snafu was just plain exhausted. They dropped onto the couch after making sure the door was locked and the windows were all still tightly covered with blinds and newspapers they’d taped over them, and Eugene knew they’d both be asleep soon. There would be no calling into work; he couldn’t keep his eyelids open let alone get up to go to the phone and call them both in. 
What he could manage was to wrap his arms around Snafu, and try not to cry when he didn’t have the familiar sound of Snafu’s heartbeat to lull him to sleep. But he still had Snafu’s hand squeezing his, and it was just enough to work in place of the heartbeat. 
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ca1e70-deactivated · 5 years
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How did you get into daverose (for the ask meme)
hm! if you mean, like, the daverose fandom i actually dont really remember? i used to be quasi involved on an old account, but thats. lost to history. i kinda just made a sideblog and started interacting/reblogging and following random daverose blogs i found in the tag tho!
the SHIP however...... oh boy. i can't even tell you lmao?? like, i KNOW it was one of my first ships. i was like eight or some shit when i read the whole "and you should probably stop hitting on him all the time" circa act one john smack talk and from then on accepted it. just. dave and rose were a Thing but not a Thing bc they were kids and i didnt understand thirteen year olds @ 9, ya know? but they were together in my mind! id seen couples on tv, and hitting on ppl was a couple thing! so! !!!
and then i got older and wiser and it just never went away. now im 19 still talkin abt daverose bc weirdly enough?? as a kid their dynamic made me so happy. they came across as bffs as far as i was concerned, and its the first ship (platonic or romantic) that actually made me look forward to spending time with another person other than my parents?? so, i kinda.... refuse to abandon it. these two kids and the webcomic even have such an important role in shaping who i am as a person!!
this probably got weirder than what you were hoping for, but. idk. its a weird ship to begin with! so ofc my answer would be funky. anyways,
daverose is good. you should ship it. i have for the past ten years and its the only reason i still believe in love. goodnight
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sohyuki · 2 years
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kith for u too mint <333 !!! (/p)
AND YES OMG it's been AGESSS and im so happy ur online aHHH :DDDD
ALSO. YOUR LATEST FIC. can we Please talk abt it bc it deserves all the attention in the world and a million reblogs and likes and comments and just yes it is perfect and i will literally give a more detailed explanation on why i love it tmrw (its late and my brain is tired now HWJJDJA)
DOUBLE ALSO i just noticed that your header pic in your mobile theme is LITERALLY KAWORU AND SHINJI ⁉️ if it's not just ignore this but omfg what are your thoughts on evangelion ??? im so happy i finally know someone else who's watched it 😭
wait wait this ask is getting SO long but i have like a million things to tell u oml and we need to start talking more again so so sooooo i will most definitely dm u on discord tmrw when i can (if thats okay w you HWJJDKAJD)
tldr; i missed u tons & i love u mWAHHHH <3 a billion hugs for you hehe >:)
OMG OKAY QUILL I'VE BEEN WAITING THE ENTIRE DAY TO ANSWER THIS >:((( BUT WORK + I WANTED TO SIT DOWN AND WRITE MY REPLY PROPERLY SO HERE I AM NOW !!
JFHKJADHD :(((( thank you so, so much for liking my latest drabble *cries, sobs into pillow* your tags were so lovely i've read them like a dozen times now /srs and please don't worry about a detailed explanation (though that would literally give me a heart attack /pos) what you've said so far is just AAAA thank youuu :(( ilu
I'M GONNA PUT THE EVANGELION STUFF UNDER THE CUT
okay EVANGELION.
first off, YES MY HEADER IS SHINJI AND KAWORU!! i have a lot of Thoughts about evangelion but also nothing at the same time because sometimes i was like "what the fuck is going on, am i dumb or am i dumb" and sometimes i was like "i am god. i am a genius. my brain is working at 1000% i can see every equation." IT WAS A RIDE.
i honestly didn't understand episode 25 and 26 AT ALL. i had to search up an explanation for it because i was so confused and i did read that you would be confused with these eps specifically. and then i watched end of evangelion and it made a little more sense? it still goes over my head (because im dumb af) but i enjoyed evangelion a lot tbh!! also, the 90s anime retro aesthetic is like my soul so i was having a blast.
I ALSO THINK THAT ITS SO STINKY THAT THEY MADE KAWORU, THE PERFECT BOY, SHINJI'S BISEXUAL AWAKENING, AND THEN just,,,,killed him in the same episode. like that's insane. why would you do that. i wasn't attached to kaworu in his episode but it was like the side effects ?????? like it only hit me after he died that i liked him as a character sm (or this could just be the shinji kinnie in me screaming) >:( absolutely insane that they killed him
i liked misato and ritsuko a lot too!! i liked that evangelion didn't filter their creative vision. like they didn't shy away from a lot of mature themes and i enjoy shows that do that. i like it when they expose every facet of the characters, which is something you don't get a lot nowadays (the same goes for writing tbh) because everything is so rigid (imo) and that was also why i knew this was one of the reasons evangelion is a classic.
JADJSDJAHD OKAY THAT WAS LONGER THAN I EXPECTED. but yes!! omg if you are free, i would love to talk more on discord!! that is completely okay with me!! i didn't want to disturb you which is why i haven't messaged you in a while but i hope you're taking care of yourself >:(
tdlr; evangelion was a ride and i love you and miss you and mwah!! <333
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inkbrusher · 6 years
Text
30 Questions!
rules: answer 30 questions and tag 10 people
tagged by @bebbies
tagging: @zlnkling @grumtaire @funkadacious if yall are so inclined
# following: 250
# of followers: 505... more than my oc blog but far less than my main hah
average hours of sleep: anywhere between 6 and 8 hours
lucky number: 4! i was born on the 14th of the 4th month 4 years before the new millenium :^)
instruments: i used to play clarinet. my shitty school had it so i had to give it up to pursue art. i do miss playing music...
what are you wearing: an old high school class shirt and pj pants
dream job: i would love to be a storyboard artist. or if we’re talking big dreams a director. in my dreams i dont have the extreme social anxiety that prevents me from directing effectively haha
dream trip: hong kong or australia!
birthday: april 14th
height: 5′6″
gender/pronouns: she/her
other blogs: ofc this is my reblog blog; @katribou is my main/fanart blog, @kathleeson is my original art/character blog.
nicknames: kat! some ppl still call me kitkat back from the skype days when my display name was kitkatsatbatmatribou or somethin
star sign: aries
time: 1:47 am
favorite bands: muse, gorillaz, foster the people, animal collective
favorite artist: artist in general??? film is art right, ill say chris nolan counts for this haha. i feel dumb but i love everything he makes and he seems like such a genuine guy that just really loves the form he works in. i admire him very much for it
favorite tumblr artist: oxboxer, jeluto, woonyoung
song stuck in your head: i think its called cyberspace curse? it popped up on my spotify discover weekly and i can’t get the cheesy ‘hmm... i think im gonna go OnLine today !’ out of my head (also sidenote my spotify discover weeklys have been all over the place i dont know what spotify thinks i listen to...)
last movie you watched: rewatched psycho? for a class assignment. still holds up remarkably well imo
last show you watched: in the middle of westworld rn!! wanted to see what jonah nolan’s stuff is like haha! (i think mind fuckery runs in the family...)
why did you make your blog: this blog was made bc i kind of felt guilty reblogging to my main in its early days when i felt like people were following for art! my main was made when a few ppl on deviantart told me to make one back in like 2011
what do you post: bad joak pretty art
last thing you googled: caravaggio... a pal said they liked his art so i wanted to see what was what fkljgf
ao3: i’m not really a fic reader tbh. like i dont go out looking for fics. the few ive read were recs that ppl showed me just so they could talk abt em
do you ever get asks: yeah! i always like asks bc i get to overshare or doodle a response lkfjgf
how did you get the idea for your url: i main the inkbrush in splatoon. i consider myself pretty good at it so i like feeling important with this pretty definitive url
favorite food: i fukin love ice cream
last book you read: im in the middle of the goldfinch rn (i was told it was Gay but literally the chapter i read this morn was so hetty... bye) lfkjdf but the last book i finished was stephen hawking’s a briefer history of time. i know. fuckin nerdy. over break i was thinking abt how i miss learning things for fun so ive been hitting up the nonfiction side of the library
top 3 fictional universes: splatoon... botw... i can’t think of a last fuq
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amoristt · 6 years
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Alive | Rick x Reader
@dinodiegos asked: Can u gimme some sick fuckin rick just protect in ur sweet ass from some zoms pls and thank you love you
Hell Yeah you can owo 
im dumb and accidentally made this more into action than romance so sorry abt that FHDJFS i wrote too much to just up and toss it out. hope you like it anyways and if u want one that’s Romance Specific hmu bc i love rick 
reblogs + tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)!
story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!
warning: mild language, gore
Alive
Any second now you felt like you were going to collapse against the concrete.
Your shoes, already worn down from wearing them so often, felt like they were going to fall apart and leave your heels scraping, but you didn’t stop sprinting for even a second. Garbled groans and incoherent cries of the dead sounded from everywhere, leaving your head spinning. You were surrounded.
The sun was starting to shift beneath the tree’s horizon, and it seemed what was supposed to be a short supply run quickly took a turn for absolute worst. If you weren’t so entirely focused on searching for a way out you’d be worrying about where they had all come from but right now the only thing on your mind were two things: run, find Rick.
And to think, your day with Rick originally hadn’t started out bad at all.
The first stop the two of you made wasn’t too shabby, and you found yourself with a new hoodie and a hat for when the colder temperatures would start to settle in. Rick found some baby clothes stuffed into a dresser (which neither of you thought too deeply about) and you fawned over how small the item was, telling him Judith would look adorable in the pink and red top. There was a medicine cabinet with a few leftover vitamin and motrin bottles, along with bandaids and what looked to be some sort of disinfectant. It wasn’t a whole lot, but it better than nothing. Plus you and him had rounded up some more things from your previous run two days ago, so for the moment Alexandria was good.
On the way home you felt pretty good about the day. Rick was playing Cd’s that he’d scrounged up from one place or another, and you had a hand out the window, enjoying the push of the wind against your palms. In between the front and passenger seat where yours and Rick’s hands, locked together casually. With all the years having gone by you’d learn to enjoy the good days when they came, even if the world around you was in shambles. Odd how an apocalypse can make a slightly warm temperature and no murder a ‘good day’.
Things became a little bumpier as the day progressed, however. You’d passed by a few walkers here and there, their haggled and rotting corpses trying to stumble towards the moving vehicle with no avail. Neither of you thought much of it- It was the end of the world. Not seeing any walkers for the duration of your run would have been odd. Eventually though those occasional solo walkers became more and more, their numbers growing with every mile it seemed. They hung out mostly along the sides of the road, bumping into one another by trees and ditches.
After another mile or two the numbers thinned out again, and your nerves started to die down like before. Four or five became two or three, and finally there was nothing once more.
“What do you think happened?” you’d asked, eyebrows knit in mild concern. The car was quite a distance away from Alexandria, so the walkers didn’t pose an (immediate) threat to everyone yet. However you were still worried- something must have brought them all here.
Rick sucked in a breath and shrugged, tilting his head. “Can’t say. They’re spread out, though. If somethin’ brought em’ here it was a while ago.”
“Yeah,” You leaned back and stared blankly out the windshield, trying to shake off the odd dread that was building in your gut. “Guess you’re right.”
Rick’s eyes left the road for a moment at the sound of your voice, and he took in your expression before turning back to the wheel. His hand squeezed yours lightly.
“Don’t worry much about it,” He started reassuringly, “They’re far out here.”
“I know, I just-...” You shook your head. “We don’t have the best luck when it comes to walkers, Rick.”
He nodded once. “I know that, but right now we gotta focus on this. When we get back I’ll have someone keep an eye out just incase, sound good?”
“That sounds… Good.” A small smile found it’s way to your lips, the corners tugging up as you looked back out the window.
After that the car ride was spent in another comfortable silence, and you replayed what Rick had told you over and over in your head. Despite how you tried to tell yourself it would be fine, something felt wrong. Something felt dangerous, and it left you sitting there in a state of apprehension that you kept entirely to yourself. Even if you talked to Rick about it you knew what he’d say- that there was nothing to be worried about and that even if the walkers found their way to Alexandria, there was more than enough gunpower and people to wipe them out before they even got close the gate. Still, even thought you knew he was entirely right, anxiety settled heavily in your gut.
Miles even farther away, a few businesses sat in a circle of road. It looked to be some sort of strip mall, all the signs mostly broken down and laying in piles of rubble on the cracked parking lot. There were multiple empty cars sitting idle in their spots, all of them covered in years worth of grime and rust. The car you and Rick pulled up in looked like a million dollars compared to the rest, even if it had it’s own fair share of weathering down.
“One last stop?” Rick asked you, and you bit your lip. One last stop couldn’t hurt.
You agreed, and to avoid getting trapped in the lot, Rick made the choice to pull off the main road and part in the grass a bit away. You should have listened to your dread-filled gut when he turned the car off and hopped out, you following his lead and shoving your hands into your pockets. The small strip mall didn’t look like too bad of a place to search. Clothing stores, mini groceries, pretty much a huge variety of very useful things that Alexandria could use.
It was too good of a chance to pass up, so when Rick gave you that look of his, you nodded and allowed him to lead the way with his gun drawn. At first things were quiet. Only the sound of your steps on concrete could be heard, and soon you and him split off and allowed a few cars in between. You had your own gun held tight in your hands, your mouth dry as tension on increased in your muscles. Any moment now… Things were going to go wrong.
When things didn’t, in fact, go wrong, you scolded yourself for being such a baby. Sure, you were in a life threatening situation, but there was no real reason in that very moment for you to be acting like a cautious cat. As Rick gestured that he was going to branch further away, you allowed him to and rolled your shoulders in an attempt to calm yourself down. The last thing you needed was to be spooked by a sound and accidentally fire your gun at nothing. Then you’d really be in some shit.
Thankfully something about shifting your muscles did seem to loosen you up just enough to glide past a few more cars, eyes peeled and finger flush against the trigger while you made your way closer to shop at the very end of the strip mall: a grocery outlet. Both of the glass doors were wide open and shattered, the windows spray painted with what looked like horribly drawn atomic bomb mushroom clouds. You laughed silently to yourself and shook your head before coming closer. You poked your head into the building, peering into the darkness, and a pin-dropping silence took over.
All at once everything fell apart.
A piercing siren cut through the air, destroying the jarring silence with its merciless screaming. You realized, with crushing horror, that it was your car alarm.
It wailed and wailed and wailed, the sound making you launch away from the doors and back out into the parking lot. Panicking, your fear only doubled over when you didn’t see Rick over the tops of the cars. You weren’t close enough to the road to see the car but you knew damn well that was it was- a walker must have heard you pull into the grass before turning it off and the stupid thing thought there was people inside. It had set the alarm off, and now you were alone and barely armed surrounded by a labyrinth of vehicles.
You knew all too well what was to come next, and low and behold, you were right as always.
The first walker that made way through the line up of broken down cars was a tall one missing it’s left arm. Initially it was following the noise, but when you halted to a sharp stop and gasped it took note of you in the corner of it’s eye and reached out with it’s one last hand. You grimaced and took a few steps back, aiming to turn around and dart towards where you assumed Rick was, but when you turned around your heart fell to your stomach. Walkers, nearly a dozen of them, were spilling around the end of the strip mall and making their way into the parking lot. If you hadn’t already been spotted by one you’d just shove yourself down under a truck or something, but it was hot on your heels and coming closer despite how easily it’s attention could be grabbed by the siren blaring.
Darting left and trying to hide yourself from all the walkers pooling, you cursed under your breath. Your gun didn’t have nearly enough ammo to take on this many, and shooting them could make things arguably worse. If you started shooting then Rick would start shooting and who knows how many more that could attract. Instead of opening fire you just continued trying to make your way to his side of the mall, but you were stopped dead in your tracks at the horrific sight ahead. Even more walkers. They were hobbling towards the car as well, slamming into dead cars on the way.
Along with the car alarm still howling, you could hear the disgusting moans of the dead starting to surround you. With them both behind you and in front of you, you were trapped, and you tried to wrack your mind for something to do. You didn’t have enough time to hit the dirt and slide under a car- not that it would work in the first place because you were being hunted by the walker with one arm. You couldn’t just up and scream for Rick either because then it would attract them all. The only option you could see was maybe trying to get into a shop, but if the door was locked you were entirely fucked. They’d see you make the run for it, and if you couldn’t get in right away they’d barrage you in seconds.
Heart thudding in your chest, you barely registered when a walker passed by the car you were hiding behind. It hadn’t seen you, too focused on the sound, but your jump-scared induced reaction surely caught the attention of a few more that cut across their path to find their way to you.
Not knowing what else to do, you ran.
From one car to the next you jumped over hoods, bounced off doors and hauled yourself in between them trying to get away from the ever-growing walkers compiling behind you. Everything was happening at once- it felt like you were going to pass out right then and there. Rick was still nowhere to be seen and immediately your brain started filling in imaginary blanks.
They’d gotten to him. He couldn’t make it out fast enough. He’s dead.
Moans of the dead grew closer once again and you pushed yourself even harder. Walkers still chased you like a game past the obstacles of cars, and even though it would mean heading straight for the walkers in front of you, you still tried to get close to the area where Rick had been. He was closer to the car than you were given you were on the other end of the parking lot, maybe he was trying to get inside of it to turn the ever blaring alarm off. Maybe he was hiding inside a shop like you’d considered.
Finding that dodging cars and moving around them was taking too much of your time, you opted to choosing an aisle and taking a straight sprint down the line. Cars passed by you in a blur, and you quickly found yourself at the other end of the parking lot. However, it wasn’t the right end you wanted to be on. You were still far from where Rick had parked, and you were still being chased.
You made the impulse choice to give into your natural instinct to hide, choosing a van to duck behind before moving to the truck next to it. Without a seconds hesitation you dropped to your knees then your belly, using the massive tire next to your body to help haul yourself underneath the truck. You hoped, prayed that they lost sight of you when you hid behind the van. Your heart slammed against your ribcage when you caught sight of their shuffling feet coming closer, their ripped up jeans and shoes visible as they stumbled around in search of you. Looking behind, the sight of feet surrounded you almost entirely.
Dulled out shoes of all color stepped around the truck, their actions much slower and less driven than before. You physically covered your mouth just incase you were giving off any sort of sound, and all you could think about was how easy it would be for one to drop down and grab you. In the case that one happened to see you, it would be over. You would be trapped. You would die.
The walkers continued to hang around, stepping menacingly by the perimeter of the truck. You could have cried when a few branched off and disappeared, their attention having been grabbed once again by the alarm still running. One by one pairs of feet shuffled away from you, some quicker than others, and eventually you found yourself alone in your hiding spot. All at once you released the heaving breath you had been holding, your hand coming to run through your hair. Every part of your skin was clammy, your entire body trembling with coursing adrenaline.
Unable to stand even another moment underneath the truck, you scooted your way to the side and picked yourself up on the ground. For just a moment it seemed like you’d avoided the storm of walkers, their disfigured bodies moving to swarm the vehicle quite a ways away. You allowed yourself to breath, leaning forward and holding your hands on your knees while your chest rose and fell rapidly. When you looked up, eyes frantically scanning over the tops of all the cars, you still couldn’t see Rick over the horde.
You tried to see past all the moving bodies, but something stopped you. A sharp movement right in the corner of your eye. With barely any time to react, you weren’t able to tear yourself away when a hand gripped tight to your forearm. You jumped and bit back a startled cry, and then you came face to face with that same damn walker from before. Up close it was even uglier than you could have imagined, it’s face rotted and it’s jaw hanging open awkwardly. It’s eyes were so sunken and horrid.
Instinctively your free hand came up to rip at the walkers fingers, trying to free yourself. When it didn’t let up you opted to just backing up and putting your weight into jerking away, but nothing was working. Suddenly you were more than thankful that the walker only had one arm- if he had both of them he could likely take an even better grip and keep you pinned in your spot. Your mind raced for something to do, some way to pry the walker away from you without setting off the gun in your hand. To try and stop him from taking a bite at your face, you used your other arm and pressed it to the walkers chest to keep those teeth away from your skin. It didn’t help that he was taller than you, somewhat towering over your figure with his broken jaw attempting to bite around nothing. The thought to hide returned and in one fell push, you lunged forward off your toes and managed to send the walker toppling backwards onto the ground. It thudded and squirmed, it’s one arm working to find purchase.
With the way your mind was desperately thinking about what to do, it was no surprise that your limbs couldn’t keep up with every thought that raced by. As the walker writhed on the ground you made a move to escape its view by running around to the other side of the truck, but in your absolute panic you overshot your turn and slammed harshly into the metal front. Unfortunately, the combination of your already shaking muscles mixed with just how hard you’d slammed into the truck made for a deadly turn. You fell harshly onto the pavement, hands not quote catching you in time to stop your chin from hitting the ground. Pain shot through your leg, what if you’d broken it? The walker behind you had rolled onto its stomach by now. You scrambled in your spot, bringing yourself up halfway before you were yanked back down. Fingers wrapped iron-tight around your ankle, broken nails digging tightly into the flesh barely exposed with your pants rising up your leg.
The threat of being scratched and infected became very apparent, and you made the stupid, fear fueled response to try and kick the walker's head. It barely affected the walker, not feeling the pain from the blunt hits, so it just continued trying to either pull you down or pull itself up to you instead. Your gun had clattered out of reach, resting underneath the truck where you’d once been hiding.
Fear rose like bile up to your chest. You continued kicking at it, praying that some part of it’s skull would give and allow you break free, but it never happened. Frantic, you tried to roll out of it’s grasp, but when you stopped on your back you gasped out at the sight of another walker B-lining it straight towards you. It was a few cars away but moving fast, and with your current position at being unable to stand, if that walker arrived… That would be it. You would die.
A million words screamed at you but this time they weren’t of escaping. They were of the potential aftermath- Rick finding your corpse. What little family you had left mourning for you.
One thought stuck out more than the rest. If this was how you were to die, it was going to fucking hurt. You were going to suffer immensely, and finally adrenaline rushed through you all over again. Like a rabid animal you fought, twisting, turning, sitting up to tear at the walkers fingers. In your fight the grip loosened and in that very second you ripped away your leg and sent a kick straight into the walkers face. It’s skull ruptured against your powerful kick and nothing in your entire life had felt more satisfying than the bone crushing. The walker went limp, it’s face hitting the concrete with a thud.
Free from your grip you rapidly rolled over onto your hands and knees, but you didn’t get too far. As if it were one thing after another, a shadow covered over your still immobile body. That walker was right up on you, standing merely a foot away with it’s eyes fixated it’s prey. Something about the sight of it so close while you felt so tiny stopped you. You froze. Every part of you screamed to move but you couldn’t, paralyzed in your spot even as it started to drop down to make its attack. There was nothing in it’s eyes. It’s teeth clipped together. It’s rotting fingers reached-
A shot rang out.
The walker fell like a pile of bricks right in front of you. Everything sounded like it was underwater, and you felt like you were moving in slow motion as you tried to bring yourself to your feet. When you almost fell back onto your knees thanks to your uncoordinated limbs, you were forced back into your right mind when yet another hand came to grab tight on your shoulder, the fingers sliding down to your forearm where they clasped and literally pulled you up onto your feet.
Fight kicked in once again and you turned on your heel, not taking a second look before you put your hands flat against the figure's chest before you shoved hard. It did not fall flat on it’s ass like you thought it would, but it did lose it’s grip. However, you stopped in your tracks at the sight of what it was.
Rick.
Blood spattered his shoulders and the front of his shirt, his eyes just as frantic and intense as yours probably were. At your outburst against him, he steadied himself and rose his hands to his chest, his gun held tight in his grip.
“Where were you?!” Without thinking your arms outreached, grabbing him tight by the cloth of his shirt, and you pulled him as close as you could. You thought for a time there that you’d lost him, all those horrible ‘what if’s playing tricks on your mind and sanity. But, he was right there, and he had saved your life like he always did.
“I was trying to get to you,” His arms came to wrap about you protectively, allowing you your moment of recollection, before he pushed you away and brought you down to crouch along the side of the truck. “Listen to me, listen to me. They’re gonna be coming here any minute now- we gotta find a way to get back around to the car.”
You tugged at your hair, eyes scanning over the ground as you debated what to do. “Why are there so many of them?”
“I don’t know. Somethin’ brought em here.”
“I knew something was going to go wrong-”
“Hey, hey,” He held your face in his hands to stop you from your spiralling. “I know, you were right. But right now we gotta get out of this.”
You swallowed thickly and nodded, sucking in a deep breath before taking a peek through the windows. Sure enough, the walkers were coming, but they hadn’t yet seen you. They aimlessly followed the area, growing closer but without much direction.
“Okay-” You tried to compose yourself by wiping over your face quickly. “Okay, they havn’t seen us yet.”
“But they know we're here,” Rick too took a glance through the musty glass windows. “Van,” He made a motion for you join him and you did, trying to follow his line of sight. “Right there. If we can cut across without being seen we can hide behind there. The walkers think we’re over here, where the sound was. They won’t know we left.”
You nodded and tried to not let the oncoming walkers psych you into acting too brashly again. “How do we get over there?”
“We run.”
You sent him a sharp glance. “Obviously, but how do we make sure they don’t see us?”
Rick took a moment to think, eyes narrowing at the stared at the van, then the walkers, then the van again. After a moment he nodded towards the walkers passing by the cars. “See that little gap?” You sprained your neck to see, and there it was. About a dozen of walkers stuck close together, and in between another handful there was a small gap that left a few cars left alone for a brief time. “When they split up, we cut across from that blue car to the red one. Now, if we stay low and move fast enough, we can make it to that van. They aren’t goin’ over there- they’ll go right by to get to here.”
Nodding, you swallowed again. This was so incredibly risky- even just one seeing you and him saunter from one vehicle to the next would be catastrophic. Still, you needed to get to your own car. It’s wailing was going to attract even more if you didn’t put a stop to it now. At your nod of understanding, Rick crouched back down again and brought you with him. His hand moved to grab yours, and even in that crucial moment, you stopped to take in his expression.
He was uncertain, fear coloring those blue eyes of his. You knew exactly what he was doing- in times like this he liked to have a ‘one last look’ of sorts should something happen. With a squeeze of assurance you nodded once more at him, mouthing the words, ‘It will be okay’. Quickly, he dipped in and kissed you once, twice. You kissed him right back, eyebrows furrowed in worry. You couldn’t lose him.
When he pulled away his eyes fixated on your hands momentarily before he plunged himself right back into his mind. In a second flat he let go of your hand and passed you, holding his hand up to tell you to stay sill behind him. Your stomach was in all sorts of knots, your legs shaking with all the movement and fear, but when he looked back at you before taking off you followed him with no regards. Instantly the two of you were behind another car, this one much smaller than the truck. Close behind Rick, he led you from one end to the other, and he stopped to peek over the hood of the car before once again darting across the opening before finding cover in another vehicle. Every single time you passed from car to car, those few seconds where you were bare it felt like you were going to either get grabbed or seen.
Eventually the horde was no longer coming right at you. They still hobbled towards where the gunshot rang out but you were on the side of them now, watching them go past. In the distance straight ahead you could see the van, it’s dirty white sticking out against the dimming daylight. Nausea settled deep within your gut as Rick stopped at the far end, waiting for the walkers to break up enough for him to make a break for it. This would be the hardest part. If you and him didn’t run at the exact right moment, if you took too long or went too early, you would be seen and chased. At that point, however, the two of you would be surrounded on either side.
You wished that you could’ve just stayed where you were, but the second half of the walkers were well on their way and unfortunately if you stayed you would be directly into their path. That van would be the only spot where you could hide  without being in the way or being detected.
Still standing in front of you, hand up to keep you halted, Rick looked back at you. “Ready?” He mouthed, and even though fright had you by the throat you still nodded. Seconds dragged on like hours, your heart thudding harshly in your ears while you waited for him to make a move. The car siren only lightened your nerves up further. The waiting was agonizing; scenarios played out like movies in front of your eyes. So much could go wrong-
Rick took off. He kept low to the ground while he moved, his actions swift and precise. Everything in your mind went blank as you reacted on instinct, following his lead. Leaving the cover of the car made you feel naked, passing from car to car at such a crucial moment felt like it was taking forever. Step after step, you swore that something had seen you. The last step you made before joining Rick behind the van was much for forceful, your body nearly toppling over when you finally made it.
Rick fingers came to grab at your arms, tugging you close to him while he moved from the front of the van to the back, keeping sure to watch the walkers through the tinted glass windows. When he finally came to a stop, letting your arm fall back to your side, you held your breath.
“Did they see us?” You whispered, and when he didn’t answer right away you felt your stomach drop.
“No,” Rick shook his head and exhaled roughly. “No. They didn’t see.”
Your head fell for a moment, a breath of utter relief making its way out of your lips. They didn’t see.
Walkers passed by the van, the two of you on the other side of it watching them unknowingly pass you right by. They gathered around the dead body of the one Rick had shot, then all their eyes searched aimlessly for something to take sight of. Thankfully, you and him were gone.
As the last of them passed by to join the group, Rick nodded his head to motion for you to follow him as he made his way around the car, stopping at the trunk and taking a peek around the end before darting out of the cover. Now that the horde had been attracted to the other side of the parking lot, it was a race to get to your car before any others did. A straight shot past a couple dozen vehicles and you’d be there- and Rick knew that.
You followed close behind him, the two of you dead sprinting down the line. He was faster than you and more experienced in running but you managed to stay on his heels, legs aching when you realized you were in the final haul. Only a few more yards and you’d be there. The siren made your ears ring as you drew nearer but that didn’t stop you or him for even a second. If anything it motivated you, making your speed increase. Down the road you could see the blurry figures of walkers being attracted to the sound.
Being right next to the car made your head spin with the sound of the alarm, and you could hear Rick cursing as he shoved the key into the lock before swinging open his door and then forcing they key into into the ignition. All at once everything went quiet, the car starting up and the alarm turning off now that the key had been inserted. The very instant the doors unlocked you threw it open and jumped inside, not waiting to be properly in your seat before slamming the door shut. Rick, in a frenzy to leave the area entirely, pressed hard on the gas and made a rough U-turn back on the road. He didn’t waste a second in flooring it down the street and away from the horde. Growing closer to the walkers you’d seen earlier, he narrowly avoided running them over as he made the getaway. They watched the car barrel past thim with lagging minds, and seeing them disappear in the distance had you leaning back in your seat with a hand splayed over your eyes.
“Jesus christ,” you panted. “Jesus christ I thought that was gonna’ be it.”
“Hey,” Rick averted your attention to him, his hand coming to rest on your leg. “We made it. We’re out.” He was breathing heavy too, and you could see him checking the rearview mirror every few seconds just in case.
“Worst fucking luck ever.”
He looked at you for a moment before turning back to the road like he did earlier, but this time his features were so much harder. “We’re out.” He said, but you weren’t sure if he was saying that to help you down or he himself.
“I thought I lost you,” You whispered, resting your hand overtop his own. “I couldn’t find you, and I-” Within your chest nerves started to light up again, that feeling of fear returning. “I couldn’t see you anywhere and I really thought-”
“___,” Rick interrupted you, taking his eyes off the road to make sure you were looking at him. “I’m right here. It’s over, we’re going back home.”
“I know, I just-”
He shook his head. “You aren’t gonna’ lose me, no matter what. Stop thinking about it.”
Though you nodded at his words, you couldn’t stop. It was the only thing you could picture, the only thing you could feel. His hand squeezed you.
“Stop thinking about it. I’m right here.”
Looking up at him, you swallowed and nodded once more. “I know.”
“Good. I’m not goin’ anywhere, and neither are you. Okay?”
“Okay.” You answered, but this time you really meant it. The both of you were alive despite the terrifying run in, and now you were going home. You wiped at your eyes roughly and sucked in a sharp breath, trying to calm down. In the side view mirror, there were no walkers to be seen and there weren’t any ahead either. You’d made it out, even if your nerves were still having a hard time letting that sink in. You leaned back, eyes slipping shut and your hand once again coming to rest over Ricks. Tired, you mumbled, “Let’s not stop anywhere else.”
“Course not. We got some good stuff already. Sun’s going down- no point in goin’ out any further.”
You let out a sigh of a relief and watched the trees pass in a blur. “Sorry for making you use one of your bullets.”
“It worked out didn’t it? Gave us the chance to get back into here.” He paused to check the mirror again. “Not that it matters- I’d of used the whole clip if I had to.”
You watched him for a few seconds. Even though you expected an answer like that, hearing it still made the corners of your lips turn up in a smile. Your thumb rubbed over his knuckles, long since scarred by countless other fights. “Love you.”
From the corner of your eye you saw him look at you before turning back. After a moment of thoughtful silence, you heard him exhale into a smile. “I love you too.”
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isitstraightvodka · 4 years
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🍉🍉 ily tons babe :'')
nora my honey! where to begin? a fellow mutual reblogged soy so i read that and was blown away by the way it was written, so i clicked follow so i could be updated on the fic, as well as the wonderful posts i had seen so far; and your icon made me smile as much as it does to this day :-) you’re an absolute star, you’re so sweet when talking to your friends, to anons, it melts my heart to see such kindness shown on my dash, it makes me happy to know i’m friends with someone as lovely as you. i continue to gush over your works and over your stunning themes, and your tags are an adventure to say the least and i love that! with that being said, i’m so happy you got tickets to see harry, hope you have the best time, you deserve it so much, ily with my entire being xx
mutuals, send me a 🍉 for the reason(s) why i followed u + the things i love most abt ur blog/u.
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incendavery · 7 years
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gosh, thank you! that is so sweet??? I hope you (and any other of my followers who celebrate!) have/had a very happy Eid!💖 💕
on another note, I’ve finally gotten around to cleaning out my askbox! under the cut is almost every ask I’ve gotten that i haven’t answered in the past.... I’m not sure. it’s been a WHILE though.
as a warning, there’s all sorts of stuff, and it’s all untagged! also also, if you sent one of these asks and want me to remove it, just let me know!
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yes!! @fuckaspunk IS super sweet and talented and i AM very lucky to have them! and I’ve heard from reliable sources that the feeling is mutual~~💕
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i’m glad my comics make you feel less alone; that’s a rough situation you’re in. i really hope you find yourself in a better environment soon!
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thank you!!!💕
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thank you for understanding! and yes, aidan is a huge help to me??? even when they’re not answering asks, they’re always supporting me in some way, whether that’s making sure I’ve eaten enough, or talking me through my anxiety, or all the other ways they’re there for me every single day💕💕
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ok, my tips are!!:
draw as much as possible! even if it’s just lines and shapes with no meaning, you’re still developing your hand/eye skills
BUT: dont draw if you’re not feeling it! if you’re feeling fried, it’s better to take a break. go on a walk to somewhere scenic, read your favorite book, listen to some new music, hang out with friends, or just take a nap! rest up and find some inspiration! you can come back to your sketchbook when you feel energized again
draw stuff that you like! you’ll improve way faster if you’re passionate about what you’re doing
look at art you like with a critical eye. try to examine the different components and figure out what you think works or doesn’t work. try incorporation those components into your own work
read a lot of tutorials and other resources, but take what they say with a grain of salt
ultimately, remember that the only real rule to drawing is that doing it should make you happy
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good luck!! i do my best not to pick, but it’s a real struggle; i have lots of scars from it too. ;v; im cheering for you!!!
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ALWAYS!!!! if you do, please show me!! my notifications get real busy, but anyone is welcome to IM me any time!
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thank you! i actually get very worried about my style; i tend to admire artists with complex linework and delicate shading, so i often feel my style is far to simple! so thank you!!
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that is really high praise????? gosh??!?!?!? best of luck with the next three years; i hope you grow to be someone you like even better than me!
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thank you!!
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peanut time is the best!! i haven’t gotten to do a proper one in a while though ;-; i’ve mostly been feeding the crows on my way back home from night shifts, when i give them the reject eggs from the continental breakfast.
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wow, neat!! chickens are so wonderful; i cont wait until i can have some of my own :>
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dont be nervous! i know i can be hard to get ahold of over the internet (bc i get overwhelmed easily) and hard to talk with irl (bc i get so nervous and interacting w ppl doesn’t come naturally to me AT ALL) but honestly i?? love making new friends??!
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thank you!!? im thankful every day that someone as radient as aidan is in my life for the long haul
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thank you!!!!!!!💕
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i completely feel that? its ok to hit rough patches! just do your best!!
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i dont remember what i felt bad about but THANK YOU💕💕
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honestly its done me worlds of good to share my art?? hearing people talk about how they go through all the same shit i do makes me feel so much less alone, especially on the toughest days! so i guess thank you, and thank you?
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youre welcome!!!! :>
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huh!! i dont know much about shoegaze (other than thinking abt that post abt the guy who pronounced it like fugazi I THINK ABT THAT EVERY TIME) but thats real neat!! im glad youve found something that works for you!!
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hey, neat middle name! and youre very welcome; i hope things have been looking up for you since you sent this?💕
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i dont remember when this was from but im currently doing really well with my meds!! i switched to a combination of lexapro in the morning and benadryl in the evening, and its been working super well!✨
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thank you??!! ;o; i would love to see all your favorite birds!!
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hey, right back atcha!!!
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:0
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ty!!!
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hey. thank YOU
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you’re absolutely not bothering me! thank you so much!!
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!!!!!!!!!!
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hey, nice! im glad you like both me and my music!
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gosh thanks?!?!
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she is the most beautiful and handsome!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her! thank you from both of us!!!!
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aw, gosh! im sure i like you too!!
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this was from.... A WHILE AGO.... but youre welcome?? i just wish i could have done more
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hey, thank you so much!!!!!
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thank YOU and a very very belated merry christmas!!!
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that does make sense!! reconciling friendships and crushes is tricky business. the best i can say to you is to be as honest and open with each other as you can
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i dont personally get those, but ive heard of people experiencing them as a sideeffect when coming off or switching meds
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i think these two are part of the same message? but oh man yeah that sucks when ppl are misgendering you AND hitting on you at the same time. on a different note, ive never heard of using a corset to stim before! neat!
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i mean, 1. depression doesn’t care if you have a “””good””” reason and 2. ive literally never met anyone w depression (including myself) who thinks that they do have a “””good””” reason for having it. thats the insidious part of depression, is that it makes you think that theres nothing wrong and that its all just you not measuring up in some way
so i guess that would make you.... someone with depression?
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real BAD
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💕 💖 💞  💓  💗
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not yet haha THANK YOU
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hey, im glad you like it!! since this blog has gotten so big, its kinda my happy place to be? (for anyone wondering, my reblog blog/personal is @spinels!
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that IS a fun fact!! thank you!
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it’s absolutely ok! i get a little bitter when people take my work WAY out of context (for example, straight people removing the caption that says “im just really gay” before tagging their bf/gf) but i am 100% ok and happy with people relating to my work in a different way than i intended (ex: a comic i made about being ashamed of my derma getting reblogged by someone struggling to be ok w their visible burn scars)
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hoo gosh, thank you!!
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glad to have you here!! im glad people can relate to some of the weirdly specific shit i write about tbh???
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i’m sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you; that a terrible situation
if you have a teacher you trust, i would absolutely bring it up to them. that is 100% not an ok thing for those kids to be doing. at all.
im glad you at least have your friends that support you! 
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:0 WAIT is this someone i know through ucsc?? :0 :0 :0
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HA 
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aaaa thank you! that is high praise ;v;
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i have no words; this is such a touching message. thank you so much ;v;
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this is belated but!! the main creative community i can recommend is kzsc, the radio station! i had a real cool time there, and its a great way to make friends and connect with ppl of all sorts! :0
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yeah, its totally normal! ive had roommates ive been super tight with, and roommates who i barely ever hung around with. its natural! i doubt you’ll finish college w/o finding a roomie that you get ~The Roomie Experience~ with though, even if its like a housemate or s/t!! ;0
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i’ve never been told that, actually! neat!! (and wow?? i cant believe i inspire ppl.... wow......... what a concept tbh??)
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oh yikes... i do hope youre feeling better :( im glad my comics can help a little bit at least!
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💕 💖 💞  💓  💗!!!
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HUGS
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i dont remember what this was in reference to, but good to know?
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also good to know!?
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i think the crows and jays do! i dunno about the squirrels and other birds. and thank you!!
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the youth gang..... i love it..... how good???!
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i wrote about getting yuri right here! he’s a southern alligator lizard and i love him to bits. 
heres a pic of the Long Boy doin his thing:
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hey neat! i’m glad youve chosen a lame you can be proud of!!💖
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ive never heard of that!! wow
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what play is this?? :0 :0 :0 im so curious now!!
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oh SHUCKS...,,,,,,,,,, ;v;
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hahahaha omg thank u
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i dont actually have any more of them interacting, unfortunately! the owl isnt one specific person, like a lot of my characters are meant to represent. the owl more represents as a whole all the people i run into in my life that i am very very gay for.
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thank you!!!
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youre very welcome! im glad you feel better!!!!
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aaa gosh thank you!!!
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hhhhfgh ive gotten less of it recently BUT YEAH that was bad times™️ 
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thanks for the info!!! :0
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no problem! a lot of the credit honestly goes to @fuckaspunk, who is always keeping me updated on that sort of stuff.
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i didn’t know that! a lot of the symbolism seems to come from multiple sources sometimes, from what ive seen?
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aaaa gosh omg thank you ;v;
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aw thank you???!!
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nice!!! oct 24 bdays go!!!
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thank you!! it really does mean a lot actually!!!!!!!
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of course?? antisemitism cant be ignored in this fight
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aw, thats so cute! id love to hear what headcanons you have tbh???
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hey thanks?! this is really cool to hear, tbh. i try to be positive most of the time, but im not going to like,,, kid myself when im not feeling it and im glad that other people can appreciate that too, ya know?
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wow!!
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(this one!) thank you i love that one too???!
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hey, im glad you found your way here!! thank you so much!!!
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aaaa ty! 
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hmmm i have two leopard geckos, and they made very good beginning lizards for me and aidan! but i would maybe ask someone a bit more experienced than me, like @kaijutegu​ or @wheremyscalesslither​!!
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thank you!!
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one day at a time! (but seriously, thank you!!)
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yummy yummy sauce...... ty!!!
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awww, gosh! thank you!?
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AAAA TY BOTH I GET SO SELF-CONSCIOUS ABT MY VOICE,,,,, ;o;
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:0 i havent watched that, but it sounds rly cool!!
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i like that fun fact a lot! ty!!
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pae stands for paerlin, which is what @fuckaspunk​‘s internet handle used to be! i used it to refer to them on my blog in secret back when they still didnt know i had a crush on them.... ;//v//;
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aaaaa thank you!!!  ;o;
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nice nice nice ty!!
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>:0 get back down here!! (jk that’s rly neat! highfive!!) 
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those are all good words that i like!! thank you!!!!
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i dont know anything about him, but i looked him up and i guess i can see it?!
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@fishcrow is really cool! ive never really interacted with them, but im p sure were mutuals...? anyway yeah their comics are rly cute and cool!
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that is me! thank you; i hope things go well for you as well!
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hello to you too!
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aaaa ty!!! tbh the number of nice anons i get way way way outnumbers the mean ones <3
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thank you! thank YOU for existing!
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:0 chocolate croissant, here i come!!!
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thank you!!!!!!💕
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its literally my pleasure!!!
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aaa ty!!! 💕💕
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hehe im glad! 
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sldf;j;sfjdklfdslfjs thank you so much?????? what a compliment omg gosh
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yeah!! i have a hard time on settling what class id be, but i feel like id be a heart player! 
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ohh um! im not sure which pens youre referring to, but if you mean the ones I use for my comics, i color them with Winsor & Newton ProMarkers, and I do the lines with a purple fine-point Sakura Gelly Roll Classic pen! i also use micron pens of all different sizes and colors in some of my non-diary comic art!
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aww thank you so much!!
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:0 :) :0 !!!!!!
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ty!!! ive grown to love him very much as well!!
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thank you! i hope you are doing well also!!
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i love them very much?!! id put a picture but i dont have one with all four of them so instead imagine me lying on the floor crying abt how much i love them bc thats me basically every day
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you dont mean......
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?!?!?!?!?!?!
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awwww ty!!!
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HEY WOW
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aaa gosh thank you!💕
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DOUBLE FOLLOW
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gay dragons combine the best of both very good things: gay and dragons. im glad you appreciate them w me tysm ;v;
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aaa what a lovely message! ty💕
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3rd-shift-working, depression-having, corvid-loving solidarity fistbumnp!!!!
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huh! ive never heard of that; ill check it out maybe!!
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ah im really glad? tysm!!💕
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my understanding is that it helps people who have text-to-speech readers? but im honestly not as well informed on that as i should be! 
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hell yeah!!!! 
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gosh!!!!!
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hnmngnhng youve probably already made a decision but i just gotta say.........shadow rulez
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delicious!!
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i havent!! i really want to though!
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oh man ALL THE TIME. i usually try to either reality check with someone i trust, or to do an activity thats easy and i know i can do, or both!
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i love andre and karl!!! its actually a huge influence on me and my art tbh??? 
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i had a good (and safe) trip! ty!!!
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hey, thank you!!!
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oh jeez thats bad :( i think this was in response to when i needed to wait between med refills?
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i cant give a precise reason, tbh! when it comes to whats lucky, i just sort of.... go with my gut, ya know?
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thank you!! 👍
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that sure sounds like insomnia! its almost hard for me to say tbh, bc ive had trouble sleeping for as long as i can remember, so NOT having trouble sleeping is bizarre and unrealistic to me haha... but i think the bottom line is, if its interrupting your daily routine and making it hard for you to have enough energy, then its something you should look into remedies for!
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:0 :0 :0
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ohhh how nice! ill give it a try! :>
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omg,,,, nope, just me!
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thank you!!!!!!
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honestly? thats such a good way to look at it i love the idea of my blog as a big zine
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always!!!!! go for it!!!
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hey, thank you so much!!!!!
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omg, thats so great! thank you!
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im so glad; thank you!!!
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thank you so much!💖 (and mexico, neat! i love hearing where people are following from??)
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aaaaaaaaaaaa ;//v//; thank you??? i get so happy whenever ppl tell me they like my singing aaaaaaa
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aw, hey, no worries! money is all well and good, but in some ways, messages like this mean just as much!
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its cool that comic gave you plural feels! im def not a system though :> 
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its tricky, isnt it? i still feel like im no good at it lmao
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LISTEN,,, there is a 99.9999% chance i wont notice, and a 100% chance i wont judge. reblog away! 
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THANK YOU ARENT THEY THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
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thank you!! i hope you have a good day as well!
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aaa ty!!💖
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aa ty! (what a cool name!!! im kind jealous ngl!)
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awww thank you💖
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i do my best! i just worry when im not active, bc i tend to connect my self-worth to my output (;^; )
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aaaaa ty!! 💖
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!!!!!!!!!!!! omg wow i love being called a pretty boy???? ty???????
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hey, neat! crow high-five!
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aw, thank you!!! 💖
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im doing my best! thank you so much, messages like this really help when im in a place like that tbh ;v;
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gosh this is so sweet? thank you so muhc !!?
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thank you all!! im sorry that saying thank you over and over sounds so repetitive, but i truely do mean it for every one of you!!!
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i am..... one of those things!
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well thank you!!
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ohoho~✨
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thank you! and honestly im sure it does??
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hey, cool! good for you!!!!!!! and ty!!
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aw gosh thank you!💖
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hey, wow! thats super cool; thank you so much!
(i dont follow the first person i followed on tumblr anymore.... they became a hockey blog rip haha)
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aaaah, thank you so much!!
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almost???
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i do!! drunken lullabies is an absolute banger!!!!!!!!!!
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i am!!!! thank you!!
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aw, ty!!! 💖
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hee hee, thank you! 
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my biggest tip honestly?? have someone who can be by your side to help you with... basically everything... during your recovery. bc trust me, i was n o t  a v a i l a b l e. i spent a lot of my recovery playing 2048 at the same time as watching tv, bc doing both at once distracted me from how much the bandages itched.
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thank you!! (i think this was in reference to getting top surgery!)
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how shitty??????? yikes. i hope your supervisor has your back??? bc wow????
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hey!!! thank you!!! i draw all my comics traditionally on paper! im not sure what you mean by the writing though? if you mean the word bubbles, i do those by hand on paper too!
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I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING,,,, im so happy ppl talk to me, but i get really nervous about saying the wrong thing. 
when i’m down, i usually crave validation. i like being reminded about things ive done right! i also like gentle reality checks, like, ‘hey: this is the situation, this is what we can do about it. ok? ok’
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i unfortunately dont have any!! i had a couple at one point, but they’ve since been lost to the depths of my old laptop. and hey, thank you so much!!
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now thats a nifty trick!! im terrible at telling all my white tablets from each other lmao
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!!!!!!! ITS ME!!!!!!!!
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maybe you just need some space? i know i sometimes temporarily block people i know, if i need some private space or if i dont trust myself to keep cool and solve problems constructively. do what you need to do to feel at ease, and go from there, ya know?
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thank you!!!
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its,,,, up somewhere above in this monster post lmao i,m so sorry,,,,
thank you so much!!!
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WOW NO WORRIES??,,,,,,,,, INCREDIBLE 10/10???????
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all four of these came right after i gave myself a hair cut and THANK YOU SO MUCH??? i live for validation and it feels so good to have my actions affirmed ;o;
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10gravity · 7 years
Text
long post, personal//
Something I’ve kinda realized now (after what…. 6 years now?) is that I keep coming back to this website bc it’s somewhere I can vent and now it’s at the point where I feel compelled to vent here and nowhere else. I mean, yeah, there is the fact that this is literally the only piece of Internet space I have that isn’t connected to ANY irl people at all but? I don’t know if this is healthy anymore tbh, like…. I have a best friend?? I have someone I call best friend and someone who calls me best friend but how do I call her that when I don’t even tell her half the personal shit that goes on with me all the time? I’ve been questioning myself for years and years if I had depression ever since I found out the thing existed?? I have so many untold stories and pent-up feelings abt my mother and my friends and my self-image that I just,,, keep totally locked up and away from everyone I know irl. I feel comfortable telling internet strangers so many things but lately I’ve been wondering: well, why? Why is that?
I feel ok telling tumblr followers just bc people don’t interact with me. I don’t talk to people on a regular basis here, I don’t reach out, people don’t send me asks and I just? Stay isolated. I’m not even saying this to blame anyone like that��s literally just a me thing. God knows how many text posts I’ve ever scrolled past lmao. It’s hard to reach out and get personal on this site.
But then it’s like, well, okay….. why is THAT then? Why do I need to know I won’t get a response when I talk about myself? Do I only feel comfortable talking abt my feelings when I can pretend I’m not actually talking to another person, that no one’s actually there to listen?? Because I can’t even handle talking about my most personal feelings to strangers that I know won’t judge me so it can’t just be the fear of being judged holding me back. Ik it’s there lmao I’m just saying it’s not the /only/ thing, ya know? I want conversation with someone I’ve known for a while and feel totally comfortable around but I know what the fucked up thing is? I don’t actually have a person like that. It’s the strangest thing, it’s like internally engrained in me - oops no can’t talk to ppl that don’t know you they can’t fully get it if they don’t actually know you irl…. but at the same time i would rather actually choke then ever tell an irl person abt anything ever?? The closest I’ve gotten were fucking terrifying and only cause they happened to catch me in the middle of being too upset to care??
But back to my point,,,,, I guess what I’m getting at is that I think I’m realizing that I’m kind of in this self-made box rn bc I don’t want to talk to irl ppl abt Things bc they know me but I don’t want to talk to internet ppl abt Things bc they don’t know me like wtf knowing me or not can’t be the only reason but idk! what! that other reason is supposed to be!
And idek if I should stay on tumblr anymore bc on one hand it’s how I cope, and this account is much better (I went back the other day and holy crap I had such a depressing dash?? My personal tag is LOADED on that thing) but on the other hand idk how much it contributes to me letting myself get immersed in Sad bc boy oh boy is it real easy to look up so many emo posts…. haha….. I mean, I’m glad that I decided to remake as a full-time exo blog bc I just focus on pretty pictures of ppl I like and dumb memes and screaming about exo legends only instead of worrying abt which irl person is gonna go “why is there a kpop boy on my dash” and which person is gonna see my personal reblogs and scroll past again or maybe respond or /now/, if _____ is gonna see even though we both blocked each other and I haven’t been on in months :^)))))))))))
And idk why exactly I’m deciding to post this here instead of my private side blog lmao (yes….. I even have one of those in a space where no one knows me irl gjdksksks) but I guess I’m just trying smthg new? I’ve never really shared my thought process in a long ass post like this before and also I’m kinda feeling weird oddly un-feely kind of funky rn so maybe that’s also that at work here lmao 😂 I do this on peach all the time so I guess I could do it here? Idk. I’ve been considering starting up a journal again to keep more of my thoughts offline and maybe help with getting less attached to my phone…. if I don’t need to vent online then I don’t need to reach for tumblr & peach every single time something happens right?? Idk. Journals can’t really keysmash back at me :/ also they’re not around n available 24/7 sooo :/
Idk. You’re not obligated to like this. If you’ve read this far (LOL sry) bc ur like me,,,, a curious bicth,,,, you don’t have to like or whatever I’m literally just putting this out here for the sake of having it out here.
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