#i made him while listening to msi

[daily-kiwibiker]

todays kiwi of the day is : w, who did this 

[ckret2]

Do you by any chance have a playlist you listen to while you write or a song you enjoy?

Hahaha which fandom do you want

I’ve been making writing playlists since like 2003, this doesn’t even count the decade-old ones trapped in iTunes.

I’ll just go fandom by fandom!

Invader Zim: my In Short Supply playlist, which is partly songs I added in 2008/2009 and partly songs I’ve added since 2019 when I picked up writing again and recreated my original playlist. Lots of edgy, metal, goth, industrial, and weird songs. Expect a lot of MSI, MCR, Marilyn Manson, and Tool. A disproportionate number of songs are about suicide since that’s such a big theme in ISS.

Hazbin Hotel: Depending on my mood, I’ll bounce between Hazbin Hotel fic writing, Serpentine & Demonswing - Radiosnake, Serpentine Songs - Sir Pentious, and Sir P vibes (which is kind of “Sir Pentious playlist, PART TWO” for songs that don’t fit on his primary playlist but that I vibe extra hard with for him, like, aesthetically). First two playlists are broad genre-wise with a tendency to lean toward murderfolk/steampunk/electroswing/swing revival; latter two skew heavily toward steampunk, symphonic metal, “classical but epic” tracks, and whatever the hell Emilie Autumn and Rasputina are up to. ( “Cello rock,” “victoriandustrial,” “dark cabaret,” “fairy pop,” yeah okay all those sound badass as hell.)

Borderlands: Zer0, which is half “edgy electronica for gamer bros who feel jaded and disconnected because the world taught them to feel like lazy failures rather than helping them learn how to navigate the world with ADHD and now they cope by playing first person shooters” and half “French dance/pop.”

Godzilla: Godzilla KOTM fic writing [ Ghidorah / Rodan / Gigan / Rodorah ], Ghidorah skews toward dark female vocalists, Rodan skews toward Spanish-language metal, Gigan skews toward weirdly normal popular love songs with an edge of melancholy, and overall it averages out to a lot of metal, some synthwave, dark/moody songs, and whatever vibe it is you get when you put Corvus Corax and Hadestown in the same playlist.

Pokémon: Mewtwo is based off a playlist I made in like 2006 so it’s mainly early 00s angry alt-rock and a few more serious-sounding Pokémon songs plus a few “in a better life this dude would have been an anti-war pro-environmentalism hippie” songs. TR is Team Rocket, so similar musical era, except a lot more exuberant and with a lot more pop.

Transformers: Prowl OOC, the first few songs include alt-J, Alice Cooper, Daft Punk, Butengel, and The Brave Little Toaster, so I’m not gonna try to classify this genre-wise; leans closer to rock than anything else. transformers fic writing, the same except even worse to try to classify and with more industrial music. Paranormal Investigators, transformers fic writing except with more songs about paranormal activity and queer vibes. Vulkreinzaan, symphonic metal, high-fantasy epic-sounding tracks, and a bunch of Skyrim main theme covers. Shockwave songs, this playlist has the best vibes of all my playlists, it’s like 1/3 synthwave 1/3 indie rock 1/3 piano minimalism.

Original fiction/other: Skelien is an attempt to feel out the vibes for a novel project I’m tentatively considering; mainly borrows from Zer0, Hazbin Hotel fic writing, and Shockwave songs, with some additional dark fantasy & dieselpunky vibes for good measure. And u ok dude which is EXCLUSIVELY for songs about fucked up people with fucked up emotions doing fucked up things; every single song is about drug abuse, alcoholism, slutshaming, unhealthy relationships, breakups, abuse, and/or eating disorders.

And then sometimes I just listen to chunks of my “liked songs” playlist and/or go look up a specific artist or genre to listen to. Recent favored genres include murderfolk, symphonic metal, cold wave, swing revival, industrial, emo, and that moment in “No” by Fleshgod Apocalypse where they suddenly start covering a Britney Spears song. Overall I skew towards thing under the metal, alt-rock, and goth umbrellas.

[captastra]

how dare u offer angst XD "no! don't you dare! don't go! if you die, i'll blame myself for the rest of time! and that'll be your fault! so stay alive!"

Angst is what you want? Angst is what you’ll get! But seriously I hope you enjoy this. CW: blood, character death; spoilers: final mission

The sound of gun and plasma fire surrounded Rhea as she made her way along the next level of Tartarus. Rhea hadn’t known what to expect when they first arrived, only determined to finish out their mission: save Phineas at all costs. It was a mission that Rhea could feel everything had been building up to and she had been frightened by the prospect of it ending in failure.

Rhea made her way quickly through the levels, Max and Felix right behind her. Everything was turning out better than she imagined when other groups started appearing on Tartarus to aid them in their fight. Apparently her secret mission had not been so secret and yet instead of ignoring what they were doing, the other groups came to their aid. 

All of this helped her in making her way quickly from level to level, the MSI and Iconoclasts helping her with the last two levels before she ran into Chairman Rockwell. He was a piece of shit but Rhea thought it better to deal with him once she had saved Phineas. 

The next level appeared to be the same as the others, guards scattered about all on alert waiting for her or anyone else who was trying to come through. Rhea turned to Max and Felix as they waited for a moment to catch their breaths at the door. They were all breathing heavily but they both gave her a nod, signaling they were ready to move forward. 

Taking a deep breath, Rhea moved through the metal doors. Max and Felix followed quickly, moving as far as they could before the guards would inevitably see them. Yet they weren’t even 10 feet in the room before the sound of more glass breaking could be heard followed by the shouts of battle cries carried over the alarms that had been blaring throughout Tartarus. 

Glancing at where the noise came from, Rhea saw what appeared to be the Mardets, the guards from the Groundbreaker, storming the room. Their sudden appearance tipped the fight in their favor as guard after guard started to fall, not reacting quick enough to fire back or run for cover.

“Ha, looks like Junlei decided to send in help too,” Felix yelled out to be heard over the sound of more gunfire and shouts from everyone in the room.

“It appears your ability to get on the good side of most groups in Halcyon has fared in our favor, Captain.” Max appeared calm as they started to run past the guards whose focus had turned away from where they had entered towards the breached walls..

“Told you my charm would wo...Felix!” Rhea had turned just in time to see a guard sneak up behind Felix and prepare to run him through with a plasma cutter. Without thinking, the world turned purple as Rhea slipped into her TIme Dilation. Everything came to a stand still around her as she ran to push Felix out of the way. She had hoped she’d have enough energy to get herself out of the way too but right as she moved Felix, her world caught up to real time as the plasma cutter cut through her armor and her.

Rhea let out a gasp followed by a scream as the guard made to move it up her body. The pain was immense and burning as she fell to the floor while Max and Felix took out the guard.

Her pulse raced in her ears as she looked down at the weapon still pulsating in her body. That's not good was the only thought that went through her mind as she broke out into a cold sweat. Strong arms wrapped around her and lifted her up slightly off the ground. The shift sent another flash of searing pain through her body and she let out a cry in pain.

“Rhea, rhea talk to me please.” Felix held her tight as she finally heard his words over her own racing pulse. His eyes had gone wide with fear as they glistened with tears. Rhea moved her mouth to speak but felt a warm liquid fill it instead. She coughed and saw Felix's eyes go wider in shock. Something seemed to register in his face as his lower lip began to tremble. She had realized it too.

"No! Don't you dare! Don't go! If you die, I'll blame myself for the rest of time! And that'll be your fault! So stay alive!"

She was dying. It was obvious now. There was no way to come back from this, not with the limited time she had.

 Rhea attempted to smile at Felix’s words but more liquid bubbled in her throat and she coughed up what she assumed was blood. It was hard to tell what was happening in general as she realized her body was starting to go numb. She couldn’t feel her toes anymore and her eyelids and limbs were starting to grow heavy.

“Please...please finish….”

“No! Architect be damned you are finishing this with me.” Tears were streaming down his face now as he yelled. Rhea could barely focus, her only thoughts focused on wiping his tears away. “I’m not joking this time Rhea! You can’t die! Not now! Not after everything we’ve been through!

“Don’t cry….you can….can do this.”

The world seemed to go silent as only the sound of Felix’s pleading floated about her head. He shifted her higher in his arms, pulling her closer to his chest. Rhea used the last of her energy to reach up and cup his face, using her thumb to try and wipe away her tears.

“Felix…”

But he wasn’t listening. Rhea watched in a haze as he looked up and began to yell...something at someone, it was hard for her to make out the words now. She continued to run her thumb over his cheek, taking in his features, the way his beautiful nose stood out on his face, his hazel eyes red from crying. His hair was slick with sweat from their non-stop movement and fighting since they had breached Tartarus. Even now she felt her love for him surge one last time. He had given her life meaning these past few months, purpose to keep fighting. Even though it had led to this moment, she wouldn’t change it for the world.

The edges of her vision began to darken. She knew her time was coming and she had to tell him. One last time.

Forcing him to look at her, Rhea told him the three important words that she wanted him to carry with him always.

“I love you.”

And then her world went dark.

[xcvfgt]

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But I figured this time around, I'd give MSI's OC Genie button a try.

[fangsforfags]

Shameless Characters as Songs I like:

Frank Gallagher: Prescription by Mindless Self Indulgence. It talks about needing to take pills, and Frank Gallagher loves pills. Honestly it just suits him. 🤷

Fiona Gallagher: To Build A Home by Cinematic Orchestra. We shoulda seen this coming. I mean come one, she seriously went since she was 6 to keep her family together! She always tried for them and was always there for them--pretty much becoming like a mom, a parent, a "home" to her siblings. She's worked so hard to keep them home from Dcfs whenever they got separated. She was the only person close enough to a parent that cared for the kids, and she deserved so much better. She became a better mom than Monica and a better dad than Frank. She became the parent her siblings needed. She made sure they were safe because they are her life.

Lip Gallagher: Get It Up by Mindless Self Indulgence. I really didn't want to use another MSI song but there's a part in the song that says, "...just whatever you do don't talk about your fucking boyfriend while we're having sex..." And it just reminds me of Lip because there are times where his partner is talking about someone else while they do it and it just makes this song choice for him even more relatable.

Ian Gallagher: Wires by The Neighbourhood. I think this song goes good with Ian because there's a part where the singer talks about giving someone their medicine and I think of Ian. And the whole song reminds me of Ian and his bipolar because "the wires got the best of him," where the "wires" is his mental illness.

Debbie Gallagher: Smack a bitch by Rico Nasty. I was debating on songs because I dislike Debbie by a lot and was debating in using Lily Allen's song "fuck you." But I chose Rico's song because honestly Debbie isn't afraid to throw hands with someone. In s5, she went and beat up Holly and Ellie (for no reason bc Debs is a bitch like that) and fought that homeless lady in s7 over that corner. So, Debs throws hand.

Carl Gallagher: Teenagers by My Chemical Romance. Honestly, Carl is a tough, intimidating, ruthless person who could beat the shit out of you. I mean, even in early seasons Carl was kinda ruthless to people and pets. This songs just works for him.

Liam Gallagher: Cool Blue by The Japanese House. Honestly I see Liam as this song because Liam is this quiet, calm, collected kid and this song is soft and calm. Yes i know it's used in s1 of 13rw, but this song reminds me of Liam. It's just a nice song to listen to and Liam is pretty quiet and he's a nice kid too.

Mickey Milkovich: Mistakes Like This by Prelow. This song gives me closeted!Mickey vibes man. When the singer is pretty much saying how they can't stop thinking of a person but they know they shouldn't get involved, it reminds me of Mickey before he started actually caring about Ian. Because he wanted Ian, but he knew he shouldn't want him because of his dad. So he tries to keep Ian away with the "feelings" and all that shit.

Mandy Milkovich: Not Your Barbie Girl by Ava Max. We know that Mandy doesn't let guys use her. In s2 Mandy tells Lip that after a 3rd time they either figure it out or stop, meaning she wasn't gonna be someone that was used only for sex. She had plans for a relationship, and doesn't let boys control her. She's also held a shotgun to T*rry so respect for that. :)

Veronica Fisher: OMG by Iggy Azalea and Wiz Khalifa. I think this song goes to Ms. Veronica Fisher because nobody can compare to her. She's absolutely beautiful and she knows it. She's a bad ass bitch too and doesn't fuck with anybody that tries crossing her. A. Fucking. Queen.

Kevin Ball: Never Gonna Give You Up- Rick Astley. Haha, get Rick Rolled bitches. ✌😄 nah jk but Kev deserves this song because he's so fucking loyal from loving V and only V, to helping the Gallaghers when they need it. Kevin is a really loyal guy and loves everyone and is a protector for his friends and family. Everyone needs a Kevin in their life. :)

Karen Jackson: Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood. Yes another song by them, deal with it. But this songs reflects Karen perfectly because her dad did humiliate her in front of a group full of people. He called her a whore and made her think he loved her again. It caused her to fuck up a lot and not care for consequences. But with her dad being a dick and her mom not really being there for her to see her succeed, it fucks you up.

Sheila Jackson: Ms. Jackson by The Outkast. "IM SORRY MS. JACKSON. NEVER MEANT TO MAKE YOU DAUGHTER CRY..." Lol but seriously i see Sheila with this song, well because she's Ms. Jackson. And that part I have quoted makes me think if Lip and Karen. But the song overall makes me think of Sheila. Sheila if you're reading this we miss you and want you back. :(

Yo if you got any songs you think would work better with them just comment! :)

[yours-truly-dangan]

Ok. O k. My brain is fried from doing schoolwork but Kazuichi’s been on my mind a lot today so headcanon time jfksk. Since I project a lot onto characters I’ll mark the projection hcs with an * (also these are non-despair so yeah)

- he ate sand as a little kid. Like I can see him picking up a handful of sand out of the sandbox and just downing it and going on about his day while the other children look on in terror

-*He ‘ironically’ listens to MSI

-He’s a really terrible liar because he pretty much wears his emotions on his face

-HE HAS A PAIR OF CROCS IN EVERY BRIGHT COLOR. His favorite ones are his yellow ones because they match his favorite jumpsuit, and the other pairs correspond to other jumpsuits he owns.

-All of his clothes are in super bright colors, even his boxers and socks and stuff. He doesn’t own anything in natural colors because they’re ‘boring’

-*he’s blind as a bat and really needs glasses

-*the clumsiest mf to ever exist

-*he flinches really easily, especially at loud noises or when people make hand gestures at him

-*he’s actually REALLY smart. Like he’s so good at math holy shit. But he acts like an idiot so people don’t walk all over him because of what his friend did to him as a kid

-super frugal. Doesn’t spend money on himself whatsoever

-doesn’t actually like Sonia, it’s comphet luv❤️ (ok but does anyone actually like Sonia for her character?? Real talk I like her design and I think she’s pretty but she’s so boring and would’ve made a GREAT KILLER.)

-I feel like he didn’t get to celebrate his birthday as a kid, (bc he was poor or if you’re a fan of the crappy parents hcs) so if his classmates were to throw him a surprise party he’d literally sob like a baby the whole time

-*ok but he and Teru are totally good friends. The two creepy/pervy kids hanging out? Yes please (I’m stuck in baking souda hell. Please help me)

I think that’s all of em for now I’m sure I’ll come up with more

[thebeautyoffandoms]

Greetings and salutations, hope I don’t bother you to much. And also, happy Valentines. May I please have a matchup for Mystic Messenger? My pronouns are She/They and I’m bisexual with a preference to masculinity. My Myers Briggs type is INFJ and Enneagram type is 4. My star sign is Taurus. Im about 4’11..not to happy about it. I’m rather introverted, and can be considered not a people person. Because of me dressing in all black and taking a liking to gruesome things like slashers and murder documentaries. A friend of mine even likes to call me “dollar store vomitboyx”. I’ve come to the conclusion I just scare people off. In reality, I’m intimidated by everyone around me and find it hard to start conversing, which may or may not come off as rude to people. When I finally become comfortable with someone I start to become really sarcastic and joke around with them with witty banter. Most of my humor comes off really insulting, but I’ll apologize and say it’s a joke if it becomes a problem. I’m not good with overly sensitive or dramatic people at all, and I HATE kids. I’m a huge animal person though. I have my moments where I can get really feisty, or very quiet and closed off. I’m the type of person that has very strong morals and opinions. I keep them to myself and bottle them up. If pushed far enough I’ll become unforgiving, and become aggressive. Especially with the types mentioned above. I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing, reading and or listening to music ( GRLwood, MCR, P!ATD, MSI, Get Scared, sometimes Cavetown or Mother Mother ). I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one of them. I find it because I’m really touch starved. I’m guilty of being submissive unfortunately, and I suffer from Autism, depression and anxiety. I’ve also been developing a eating disorder. If you do get to this, thanks for your time. - Coii

Hello there!! No worries about bothering me, and happy (late now, but anwfoaner) Valentine’s day to you too! You’re so very welcome, and thank you so much for requesting!! <3 (Ahhh my first Mystic Messenger matchup!! I hope you like it!!!!)

For you, I feel like Saeran Choi (particularly, during routes other than “Another Story” when he’s Unknown) would make a lovely match!

From the start, Unknown was really intrigued by you and your style. The moment he had the chance to speak to you in person, his interest only grew. You didn’t overwhelm him, and he honestly felt rather… understanding? Of your personality. That alone made his thoughts run slightly faster with curiosity. It may have taken him a while to show it, but he eventually made an attempt to “learn more about you.” He may never admit it, but, to Unknown, that was as good as “trying to be your friend.” Though cocky, he found it easy to be a bit patient for you to warm up for him, perhaps with Ray’s thoughts occasionally lingering in the back of his mind. While he can be a bit of a bully about it, Unknown genuinely does admire your height. Despite showing how uncaring he can be to the RFA, he does have a soft spot for you, and would never want to actually hurt your feelings. He’ll limit the teasing, and, on a good day (or a day where he’s feeling especially touch-starved), he may even place a fleeting kiss to the top of your head. Whether you feel his love or decide to kick him, is completely up to you. Though he’s not left with much free time, when he can sit back for a minute, Unknown loves nothing more than watching horror movies or documentaries with you. He’ll usually find himself not wanting to go to work after it’s over, silently wishing for that strange peace he’s feeling to never end. However, he won’t acknowledge that much, only continuing to sit with you, maybe with an arm wrapped around your shoulders snugly. He tries to strike up conversations, being patient if you’re feeling more closed-off, and going back-and-forth with you if you’re feeling playful. If you ever share them, he really appreciates your strong opinions/morals, and will do his best to respect them, as long as you do the same for his. Unknown doesn’t get offended easily, and won’t take your sarcasm or banter to heart unless it’s something really serious or triggering for him. He hopes that you do the same, but would hate himself were he to ever hurt your feelings. I’ve always felt like Saeran shares the same love of cats as 707, so Unknown generally doesn’t have an issue with animals. In fact, he tends to get soft when spotting a cat roam around outside of Mint Eye, and (though he’d never admit it) will stop to try and pet it. He may have a similar reaction if you have a cat plush, his eyes softening ever so slightly to pat the toy atop it’s head. Something about it reminds him of both his love of cats, and the innocence of childhood. He’ll be no more at peace than sitting against you and your plushies, playing music, and either talking or enjoying the comfort of the moment. While it may not be his strong suit, Unknown (mayhaps with Ray’s help, but he’ll never acknowledge it) still does his best to help you, should you need it. If you’re ever feeling down, he’ll rush to a stopping point in his work, and do whatever you need him to do. Same goes for if you’re feeling anxious. Though he tends to go for physical contact, he’ll understand should you not want it. No matter what, he’ll be patient with you, and let you take things at your own pace. <3

[mochimaster]

Updates

Since I do an extremely poor job at keeping this blog updated or just keeping you guys in the loop nowadays I guess I’ll just hit y’all wid’ some stuffs that happened this year that I haven’t talked much about:

1.) 2020 was a fucked up year for all of us, I hope it didn’t destroy you or tear you down too bad and if it did I feel for you and you guys know even if I’m not as active as I once was on here that you can always come to me and I will be a shoulder to cry on.

2.) My husband and I just celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary which was also my parent’s 24th wedding anniversary, God rest their sweet souls, and with all that being said that whole “the first year is always the hardest” statement you tend to hear right after getting married... yeah, listen folks it’s true but I love my husband more than anything and we prevailed.

3.) My husband also just exited the military (US Army) and is transitioning back in civilian life after three years of service. It’s for the best, he would have liked to continue but for now he’s taking a break and being a normal person to the best of his ability. He is considering Air Force National Guard for the future but for now we need a break from military life after toxic leadership nearly drove him to commit suicide. 

4.) I nearly died twice this year from infections but once again managed to survive on nothing but spite I guess. After suffering a miscarriage end of January 2020 my body went haywire due to some other chronic illnesses and slowly went downhill. Nearly a whole year of suffering in sickness but I finally got help for some other health problems in October and have been improving greatly since. 

5.) Since the improvements with my health it has allowed me to be freelance writer and editor again and I love it, I couldn’t do much of anything while I was sick and hospitalized off n on most of the year and it made feel worthless and like a failure most of the time. Also my husband gave me his MSI gaming rig since he upgraded computers for his new work so sometime soon I might be streaming so be on the lookout for that. Plus this means I can also be more active on Tumblr since, rea ltalk I do like the desktop version a lot more since I’m a dork.  

I love you all, stay safe, stay blessed, stay wonderful - Lala. 

[emoimaginesblog]

BVB: Andy Biersack Imagine

Dressing him for the APMA’s

No Warnings

My client, Andy Biersack, walked into the dressing room. “Hey I’m (Y/N)! Good to see you!” I smiled. “Andy Biersack. Good to see you too.” He flashed a smile that could make a thousand girls faint. I smiled shyly back and then sat him down in front of the mirror to start on his hair. “So what I’m going to do, is seen as you have this style going on, I’m just going to accentuate it a little with a little hairspray and then we will get to the stage makeup.” I explained. He smirked and nodded. I unzipped my bag and got the hairspray and comb out.

I started to gently comb his hair over when he started to ask questions. “So how long have you been in this industry?” He asked. “I’ve been doing stage makeup and hair for years. I just started stage fashion three years ago.” I said humbly. He nodded and I flinched a little. “Please don’t move. I’m about to spray it in place.” I giggled and then fixed the slightly ruffed up spot. “Sorry. I won’t move this time.” He said with a deep chuckle. I smiled and then grabbed the hairspray. “Hold your breath.” I said. He breathed in deeply and I pressed the nozzle down, spraying the max hold hairspray into his neatly combed black locks.

I smiled at his neatly fixed hair and then spun him around. “Did you like it?” I asked shyly. “Of course! If looks amazing.” He complimented. I smiled and then grabbed the makeup. “I’m going to do really light makeup and then a little piece of war paint. Sound good?” I asked. “You just do whatever. I’m your canvas for tonight.” He flashed a white smile and I nodded with a small smirk. I grabbed the foundation and started to apply it but I decided to get a good look at his skin first. I ended up putting the foundation away seen as he has phenomenal skin. I settled on grabbing the black eyeliner and black body paint.

“Close your eyes.” I said. He gently closed his eyes and I applied a thick layer of eyeliner that I would smudge out in a moment. “So I didn’t see the suit that you picked. Can I see it?” He asked, his voice deep and husky. “Not while I’m doing your eyeliner, unless you want me to poke your eye out.” I suppressed a giggle and he chuckled ever so slightly. “So who all have you dressed and stuff?” He asked. “I’ve done MCR, MSI, All Time Low, and Brendon Urie a lot.” I said while smudging his eyeliner. “So essentially you’ve done a bunch of big names and are super famous because you’re fanatic at what you do?” He complimented. “Well, I wouldn’t say I’m fantastic, I’d just say people have seen my work and it fits their style.” I suggested. I finished smudging his eyeliner and he opened his eyes. “Well it sure sounds like it. May I see the suit sugar?” He asked, throwing in a rather confident attempt at flirting. I blushed a light shade of pink and then unzipped the garment bag to reveal a black velvet suit with a silk lapel. “It looks great. I love it.” He smiled. “I figured you would. I’d seen your other red carpet looks and decided to add a more glamorous touch to it with the velvet and silk.” I explained. He listened intently with a small smirk on his face. I quickly walked back over and started painting on the small stripe across his face.

I finished up the makeup look and fixed his hair up one more time before letting him get dressed. I entered the room to find him buttoning up the maroon silk dress shirt with his collar chain hooked to the end of his suit jacket sleeve. I blushed a little and then took a lint roller to his pants and jacket after he finished buttoning it. I clasped on the collar chain and then buffed his shoes a little bit.

He left for the stage and I decided to watch back in the dressing room as I packed up. I noticed in my bag of materials, there was a little notecard. I flipped it over to read the nice handwriting. “It’s Andy. Thank you for putting up with my shenanigans tonight. You’ve made me look great, all thanks to you. Here’s my number. Call me sometime sugar.” Was written on the page. I smiled to myself and giggled. I looked up at the screen as he accepted his award for best hard rock song of the year. I smiled at him as he thanked everyone for his award. “I’d also like to thank my stylist tonight for giving me this crazy awesome look tonignt.” He said with a smirk. The crowd laughed, thinking he was just being lighthearted, but I knew deep down that I maybe had a small place in his heart.

Thanks for reading! I hope this one is a little better. If you like what you’re reading, make sure you comment below! If there’s something I can improve on, leave a comment too!

[calumcest]

okay could you recommend some MCR songs

okay listen...i have DEEP EMOTIONS about this you have just accessed the cryptid part of my brain with these words i actually wrote a list of mcr songs i would recommend for someone to start w here yesterday BUT if we’re talking about my personal recommendations outside of the classics aka just straight up my favourite songs then its gonna be As Follows

bullets: ok i cant lie to you this is not my favourite album i have deep love for it and what it did at the time but they grew so much from there this one is like. just raw and raw talent too BUT that being said: early sunsets, demolition lovers, vampires will never hurt you, our lady of sorrows, headfirst for halos and cubicles SLAP. i realise thats like half the album and this is my least favourite album so i feel like its only downhill from here

three cheers: this album. This Album. when i havent listened to it for a while i’m always like yeah this is my 2nd/3rd fave after tbp/cw but then i listen to it again and i’m like jesus fucking christ this is such a good album like GOD its still more of their heavier stuff but it’s much more melodic/musical and put together than bullets was SO: the ghost of you, helena (you can’t go wrong w helena even if its not my favourite it still bangs), to the end, give em hell kid, cemetery drive. i also wanted to add hang em high but that would literally be too much i cannot recommend most of the album to you but watch me absolutely do that with tbp and cw. also honourable mention to 1:13-1:18 of the jetset life is gonna kill you. i will say no more on that topic

the black parade: now this . THIS. okay i know i said the exact same thing about three cheers but THIS ALBUM. this is a little less heavy than the earlier albums and is a genuine work of art i seriously cannot stress to you how TIGHT tbp is how good every single song is its one of those albums that every single fucking time you listen to any song on it you notice something new. i’ve literally been listening to this album for uhh well over a decade i think i was 8 when i first heard wttbp? and i still am finding new things in songs there is only ONE song on here that i would miss and its not bc i think its bad i think its just i’ve heard it so many times and thats teenagers. i would literally recommend every single other song on here it’s so well-produced every single note every chord every beat everything is just perfectly thought out and executed and god i have so many fucking feelings about tbp. without further ado as i have already typed an essay on this: the end, dead, this is how i disappear, sharpest lives, wttbp (this is a Must Listen a Classique), i don’t love you (!!!!!!!!! i love this song no matter how much i’ve heard it), house of wolves, cancer, sleep. yes i literally want to recommend every song to you so recommending 3/4 of the album counts as me restraining myself 

conventional weapons: ALBUM! OF! THE! DECADE! they made POINTS with this one its kind of tbp vibes (musically, in terms of how heavy/poppy it is). idiots released it in some weird ass pretentious way gerard way can choke but anyway. burn bright is genuinely one of my favourite mcr songs of all time, boy division slaps especially the second verse, i also really love tomorrows money, the world is ugly i cannot believe they FINALLY released after playing it live for like 5 years, i also would say surrender the night and ambulance? but those are secondary to the other three 

danger days: now they went a little insane here and by they i mean gerard because i like to blame everything on him frank iero can do no wrong in my eyes. this album has 15 songs of which 3 are a guy (iirc a member of msi) just . speaking nonsense but you got me fucked up if you dont think i wont be shouting ONE OH NINE IN THE SKY BUT THE PIGS WON’T QUIT- while complaining about it. this album also has a song that i actively dislike which is party poison so avoid that at all costs because for me to dislike an mcr song takes a lot. i would howver recommend summertime (nice lil emo ballad), the only hope for me is you, bulletproof heart, i also really love planetary go (much poppier), and everybody loves the kids from yesterday (also poppier) 

i GENUINELY do not possess the capability to be quiet about mcr like i seriously wish i could but this is the quietest i can be about them so i apologise for rambling so much 

[williamsockner]

LGBT+ Identity in the Time of Mindless Self Indulgence

Mindless Self Indulgence isn’t an act that could have flourished at any other time. The emo/pop punk wave was gathering steam; hip hop was still a novelty one could distinguish themselves from the flock by cribbing. “Random” Invader Zim-style humor was in the decline, while “edgy” no-limits humor was skyrocketing. Nerds hadn’t become the dominant force they are today, but due to the internet and the rise in manga and anime sales in the United States, they were able to access nerdy content much more easily. Youtube was taking off, music piracy was booming, and reliance on both radio and local record-store gatekeepers was at a low for young music fans.

Perhaps most critically, our national understanding of politics and identity at the time, particularly LGBT+ identities, was in a different stage of development than it is today. “Punching up” vs. “punching down” was not a concept that most people considered in their comedy. “It’s just a joke” was more widely accepted as an excuse for transgressive entertainment than it is today. “I’m an equal opportunity hater” was a common refrain.

Early in their career, the band released multiple tracks where Jimmy Urine, a man who was certainly not black, used the n-word. The “Pantyshot” cassingle was a treasured possession among MSI fans, featuring an early song that supposedly lost them a record deal due to being about lusting over a 5 year-old. Little Jimmy Urine sold kisses for a dollar to fans after shows, including to the teenagers. As a whole, the band made punchlines of racial and sexual slurs, rape and child abuse, school shootings, prostitution, drug use, incest, and just about every other taboo under the sun.

The understanding was that none of it was real and that none of it had any real consequences. Calling someone a faggot didn’t matter if we were all in on the joke, that homophobia was stupid. Words were just words. The identity of the speaker didn’t matter so long as their ideology was clear. It was something of an inversion of the way we publicly navigate comedy now, in that their identity determines where on the ladder they are to punch up or down, and the contents of their ideology is of minimal consequence compared to the text of their words. The context of a joke is not a matter of what the audience believes, but of the many complexities of hierarchy that society as a whole believes.

“Who cares?” asks 2008. “It’s just words.”

“How could it not matter?” answers 2018. “Words create culture.”

So LGBT+ identity in the era of Mindless Self Indulgence.

Describing the difference between 2005 and 2018 to young queer people is a source of anxiety for me, because I feel like the old woman talking about how she walked uphill both ways to the library if she wanted to read a book. It’s difficult, however, to put in perspective how quickly the culture around LGBT+ identities has changed. As dangerous as it is for queer kids today, they have much freer access to information about their resources and history than we did, and far greater representation in all forms of media.

When I was a teenager, I was the first person openly LGBT at my school, and my only point of reference for LGBT identities were Rosie O’Donnell and Elton John. There was no “Born This Way” yet, no Halsey and Hayley Kiyoko and Ellen Page, no Troye Sivan and Adam Lambert and Frank Ocean, no Miley Cyrus, no Laverne Cox. There were no empowerment ballads.

Which was fine, because I didn’t want empowerment ballads anyway. I felt disgusting. In reckoning with my LGBT+ identity, I felt small, broken, repulsive, confused, discarded and doomed. I was sickened in my own skin and filled with self-loathing because of my sexual orientation. Sometimes I still am. When I was 15, I drew a map of my heart, and in between the “fields of sexual insecurity” and “possibly irreparable damage” I had written “guilt!” several times and underlined it.

“You’re beautiful” didn’t only feel false, it felt invalidating. I was fiercely defensive of my self-hatred. I was working so hard at it, spending so much time and energy convincing myself I deserved the beating I was giving myself. To this day the barriers I’ve put up against generic bromides persist, and songs like “Scars to Your Beautiful” or “Roar” make me cringe. Maybe someone gets something out of them, but I can only think of the teenagers like me who used that sort of sentiment as fuel for their own self-abuse. I remember once bursting into tears at a “Jesus Loves You” sticker because it served as proof that the whole world was playing a joke on me, telling me that someone so unlovable should have some hope.

It was impossible to internalize that queerness was not dirty, unnatural and loathsome. Any attempt to break that association was drown out by the rest of the messaging we were receiving and our own tried-and-true mental gymnastics. Reassurance could not reach us at the bottom of the well.

At the time, I was obsessed with Mindless Self Indulgence with the kind of all-consuming adoration that only teenagers can possess. I aped frontman Little Jimmy Urine’s fashion, writing slogans across my coats with white tape. “What Do They Know” and “Cocaine and Toupees” were my ringtones, much to my mother’s chagrin. I had catalogues of bootlegs, lovingly sorted and pressed to CD. Mindless Self Indulgence populated my artwork, both in classroom doodles and in art pieces for my portfolio that I labored on for weeks. They were the subject of my college application essay. I met my first love on an MSI forum (which I moderated) and lost a few romantic relationships over my inability to talk about anything else. I owned every shirt. When I was hired on at Barnes & Noble’s music section, I would nominate Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy for the staff recommendation shelf every single week, and whenever it inevitably got recalled to the warehouse for lack of sales, I’d order it right back.

Sometimes my friends and I would go to the mall parking lot at night and blast Mindless Self Indulgence from my car, dancing around the empty lot with our striped stockings, fingerless gloves and Hot Topic trip pants.

This band kept me from killing myself.

“I’m filthy, disgusting, horrible, irredeemable,” we’d say. “People tell us we’re beautiful and we know they’re lying. I’m a freak.”

“Yeah, you’re fucking ugly,” the music said. “So what? So’s everything else. Have some fun with it.”

Despite the fact that Jimmy Urine has never publicly labeled himself with an LGBT identity, we young LGBT MSI fans claimed him as our own. We enshrined the article where he described being sexually attracted to anyone regardless of gender. We imitated and revered his gender fuckery onstage, the skirts, the pink suits and tutus, the eyeliner, his yelping falsetto leaping up from the masculine shouting, the way he danced. We pored over lyrics - that we transcribed ourselves in many cases, through multiple listens and endless debate - for those nuggets of same-sex attraction and gender ambiguity.

“I make a good girl but I make a terrible boy,” went one song. “These things in my pants that we’re all waiting for, I never really knew what that thing down there was used for,” went another. And the most sacred text of all was “Faggot”, off Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy, the most beloved record of the vast majority of hardcore MSI fans.

“I played that shit straight / blowing suckas to the side hopin' I get laid / now everybody knows / no way in hell I can ever live it down”.

Shit was a revelation.

Kitty, the drummer of Mindless Self Indulgence, once said of the band’s LGBT fans that listening to MSI’s music was like vomiting: it hurts at the time, but then you feel better. You got it out. And the band always cultivated their relationship with their LGBT fans. Gay marriage was one of the few political issues they openly took a stance on, in a time when states like my own were amending constitutions to protect themselves from Massachusetts’ same-sex marriages.

Thus, we had a place where we felt simultaneously seen and valued by the band, and unseen amongst the chaos surrounding us. The irreverent humor of the band created a safe space where homosexuality could be disgusting, but so was everything else. There was no shame at an MSI concert. You were listening to a man famed for drinking his own urine sing about whipping his meat out, who cared if you liked to kiss girls? That’s old news. We’re all freaks down here at the bottom of the well.

I’m 28 now, and I don’t know if the kids these days have an equivalent band. I don’t know if there’s a market for it anymore; I’m sure there will always be queer kids who have internalized the awful message that they are inherently unlovable, but I’m not sure if they can’t find more accessible and more inherently positive panaceas. I see mutations of the same style of humor in Willam from RuPaul’s Drag Race and in some of the undercurrents of Tumblr’s teen humor. “We’re goblins, trash, garbage babies.”

“Yeah,” my inner child says. “I fucking feel that.”

The paradigm of humor has changed since 2008, at least in my circles, and the reasons for that are manifold, political, social, capitalistic. In many ways, it’s been a good thing: bigotry can be exposed rather than cloaked in excuses. A basic understanding of social inequality is presumed of most audiences. People are responsible for the impact of their words, not the intent. “Equal opportunity hater” is seem for what it is: intellectually lazy and blinkered, the refuge of white guys who don’t want to own up to the fact that some jokes aren’t funny.

But I’ll always have a place in my heart for comedy that meets people where they’re at. Where we’re at isn’t always beautiful or acceptable or healthy, but sometimes it’s the place where we need the laugh most.

[ckret2]

“You’re so vain” “Give em hell kid” And “I hope you die” I’d love to hear those explanations

Righto! Okay so recap for the people who might have missed it, this is about the radiosnake playlist I mentioned/linked a bit over a week ago, Serpentine & Demonswing. When I posted it I also added an “and if you wanna know why any songs are on the playlist you’re free to ask.” The playlist is a work in progress so some of my answers are gonna be “so here’s the explanation for why it was included but tbh I’m not 100% on keeping it.”

Important things to mention before getting into it: the playlist is build specifically off my headcanons from “Cold Day In Hell,” and so all of the songs act on the assumption that CDIH is “canon.” (tl;dr: they’re exes, because Alastor got scared of emotional intimacy, told Sir Pent he never actually liked him, and ran off after blowing up all his airships.) The first chunk of songs is from Sir Pent’s perspective, the second chunk is from Alastor’s, the third is from them both or about them both, and the last few songs are “I like the vibe but honestly am not sure this fits the playlist.”

Also, y’all are welcome to keep asking me about songs, because this is a lot of fun.

I’m absolutely sure that tumblr is going to delete this read more out of the post but I’m going to put one anyway, maybe it’ll let this one work just to be contrary. If it doesn’t, I apologize for the dash stretcher, that’s just how tumblr do.

So! Explanations:

You’re So Vain (Lyrics)

This one is on the Sir Pentious side, so, although it’s not directly/accurately about Alastor, it is about how Sir Pent sees him in light of their catastrophic breakup.

Verse 1 is less on the nose in its description of Alastor, but you get the impression of someone who is obsessed with how he comes across to other people, and who is far more interested in himself and the image he’s giving off than he is in any of the people he’s trying to impress. A great deal of Alastor’s personality is—or at the very least, comes off as—completely performative. As though to this day he’s still nothing but a radio host performing for a listening audience, even when he’s only talking to one person. The fact that he’s always wearing a fake smile and pointedly providing his own sound effects adds to that impression of a performer who never breaks character.

And the fact that the character in the song is still wholly self-absorbed even when he’s dancing with a partner gives a nice little glimpse into how Sir Pent’s retroactively reinterpreted his last evening with Alastor.

Verse 2 is the stanza that comes closest to completely accurately reflecting what went down between them. First, the alliance between them, the implicit promises that they the were going to conquer Hell and then Heaven as partners in crime—“Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair / And that you would never leave”—and then, the breakup—“But you gave away the things you loved / And one of them was me.” It’s the one line that acknowledges that the character in the song did, indeed, actually love the singer, and wasn’t just performing a role/playing at being in love.

It’s also a line that would ring false to Sir Pentious, because in the aftermath of CDIH, he genuinely doesn’t believe that Alastor ever loved him. He completely buys Alastor’s claim that he was just screwing around with Sir Pent’s emotions for his own entertainment. Words to the effect of “one of [the things you loved] was me” would never come out of Sir Pent’s mouth.

However. Of all the lines in all of the songs in Sir Pent’s portion of the playlist, that one line is the most accurate thing that could be said about Alastor, the blade that would stab into the core of who he is and the role that he played in this story. Because of his vanity—his selfishness, his pride, his obsession with his own independence, his fear of love, his fear of vulnerability, his fear of sharing his life with someone else, etc.—he didn’t just lose what he loved, he did very deliberately and intentionally give it away.

(I’ve always found that line to be the most interesting in the song, for the hint that this vain person did indeed truly feel for someone else, so I’m glad that line fits so well here.)

Verse 3 is just more “what Alastor is like as observed by Sir Pent,” except even more accurately than the first stanza. Constantly running around, constantly moving on from one brief source of entertainment to another (just stuff “threw his support behind the Happy Hotel” somewhere between “gambled on a horse race” and “watched an eclipse”), constantly socializing with dangerous people and people whom he’s going to hurt without caring in the slightest.

Okay so that’s the lyrics.

Making sure the aesthetics/styles/genres of the songs match the character they’re for is one of my high priorities on this fanmix—not to the extent that having the wrong style is an instant dealbreaker, but I’m going to be hesitant to include a song that doesn’t at all match the sound I’m going for. For Sir Pentious, I’m kind of running with two styles.

The first style is “sounds Victorian-ish enough to get a shrug and a nod from anybody who doesn’t actually know/care about Victorian-era music,” so that’s gonna be just about anything orchestral/symphonic that doesn’t clearly fall into a different genre, symphonic metal that sounds symphonic enough to satisfy me, instrumental covers of other songs (string quartets, piano, full orchestra...), things with harpsichords (LISTEN i know that harpsichords are more baroque but they’ve got the right Vibe, you know, they’ve got the Feeling), and things with organ—but like, it’s gotta sound like pipe organ (pipe organ—sounds like a church) and not like Hammond organ (Hammond organ—sounds like a baseball game). Also steampunk, except a lot of “steampunk” genre music sounds swingy/jazzy, so those songs get ruled out because that’s Alastor’s aesthetic. And also, like, actual classical music, but I’m not into a lot of actual classical music, so I don’t think any’s actually made it in yet, lmao.

The second style is based on what the creator herself said about Sir Pent’s music preferences: “Sir Pentious would listen to Blink-182. Pentious would literally listen to stuff like Linkin Park, Green Day, the emo stuff.” So I took "the emo stuff” as “oh okay cool so the stuff I listened to at 15 got it” and ran wild with that. I’ve been most heavily drawing from My Chemical Romance, Panic! At The Disco, and Mindless Self Indulgence to represent that half of Sir Pent’s preferences. (MSI because I feel like that fits an in-your-face and morally jaded villain, P!ATD because their newer stuff fits his flamboyance and exuberance and egotism, and MCR because... because I know them best.) I haven’t yet made much time to carefully comb the discographies of the other bands listed or look into other more traditional emo-associated acts.

Carly Simon’s original “You’re So Vain” matches neither of these styles.

I combed through about 60 different versions of “You’re So Vain” on Spotify looking for ones that meet one of these aesthetics. Like 90% of them were, I’m pretty sure, just various singers adding their vocals directly over a karaoke version of Carly Simon’s original.

In the end, the only one that came close was Marilyn Manson’s cover. He’s a bit outside of the bounds I try to stick in for Sir Pent, but like, okay, he’s industrial metal, but in a particularly goth way, that’s close enough to emo. To my mind, “Sir Pent listens to emo” is like... Sir Pentious’s musical preferences are going to be, 1) counterculture, the kind of stuff that causes conservative Christian moms to go into moral panics, but also 2) mainstream counterculture, the kind of bands that produce huge hits & get featured in major blockbuster movies, but also also 3) slightly dated mainstream counterculture, i.e., at the end of the 2010s he’s listening to the bands that may still be popular but that peaked in the mid 2000s, in keeping with the way he’s trying to keep hip and modern but always seems a little bit behind.

So, in the 2010s, he’s listening to 2000s emo acts. In the 2000s, he was listening to the 1990s’ biggest metal acts (like Marilyn Manson) and possibly grunge acts (things like Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins). In the 1990s, he was listening to the 1980s’ biggest post-punk and new wave acts (like The Cure, Joy Division/New Order, Depeche Mode). Always evolving his stylistic preferences, always trying to keep up, but always a little behind. So that’s how I justify putting Marilyn Manson in lmao.

Although that was the only version of “You’re So Vain” I thought fit well enough, I also found a version by Trash Pour 4, a version by Les Reed Orchestra, and a version by Giant Sand that were all very good. Trash Pour 4 is driving me crazy because I can’t quite figure out what genre they are, I just can’t place them—but they’ve got several other good covers that I’d like to take advantage of at some point.

I also found a song called “You’re So Vain (Christian Dior)” by The Energy Commission that’s not a cover of Carly Simon’s song, just a new song with the same name. I’m lowkey considering including on Alastor’s side of the playlist. It’d serve as a very sharp critique of how image obsessed Sir Pent is, there’s some snappy turns of phrase that seem like they’d appeal to Alastor’s sense of humor (my two favorites are “He went off the deep end ‘cause he’s so shallow” and “He’s got a timepiece on his wrist and it says ‘watch me’”), the fact that it’s a critique specifically of high class materialism fits with the fact that I headcanon Sir Pent as coming from British nobility while Alastor’s ancestry is both racially and socially mixed (including at least one close relative who was a slave, I’m thinking a grandparent but haven’t settled on my headcanons yet), and I love when there are parallels like that in playlists about the relationship between lovers/partners/rivals/siblings/any-combo-of-two-people.

The reason I haven’t added it yet is because, by the end of the song, it’s not just a critique of being a rich shallow image-obsessed douche, but specifically of how that culture ties in to exploitative capitalism that’s wrecking human lives and the world—which, in the context of the characters we’re talking about here, would translate into a criticism of Sir Pentious’s very-imperialist-sounding take-over-the-world villain ambitions. Which isn’t something I think Alastor cares about. He probably should, but like, he just doesn’t. He’s a villain himself. I’m sure he’s got his own morals and standards and hard limits but “take over the world” isn’t on his list of dealbreakers. What’s taking over the world include? Mass murder and subjugation? Yeah, he’s cool with that. So that’s why I’m still on the fence about adding it.

Give ‘Em Hell, Kid (Lyrics)

So remember how I said that My Chemical Romance is one of the bands I’ve drawn from most heavily so far in looking for emo Sir Pent songs? Yeah for about a day there were six different MCR songs sitting in Serpentine & Demonswing as I slowly whittled them down to the ones that I thought fit best. “Give ‘Em Hell, Kid” is one of the last three, and actually one that I’m constantly on the verge of cutting.

Lyrically, it’s an Alastor song. There’s mentions of the singer having come from New Orleans (listen... i am a sucker for songs that mention New Orleans, it automatically earns five points on the imaginary “is this an Alastor song?” rubric in my head). The singer is singing about a love interest who’s gone, and he’s making no moves to pursue/reclaim the love interest, wishing them well (“So go on, live your life”), but he’s a wreck and a lesser person without them (“If you were here, I'd never have a fear,” “Well I'm a total wreck and almost every day”), and it’s just getting worse with time, not better (“But I miss you more than I did yesterday”).

The line “Some might say we are made from the sharpest things you say” although directed toward “you,” i.e. the love interest, i.e. Sir Pentious, in my head actually reflects more on the things Alastor said to Sir Pentious: the cruel things he said to Pent—that he’s weak, ineffective, behind the times, a has-been, never going to conquer hell—ended up a self-fulfilling prophecy, because that’s exactly what Alastor’s rampage made happen. Today, as he is now, Sir Pentious is made from the sharpest things Alastor said.

“Your dreams and your hopeless hair” makes me think of Sir Pent’s wild efforts to conquer hell (and, of course, his ridiculous cobra hood), and “We never wanted it to be this way for all our lives” is a perfect expression of Alastor’s regrets/remorse over what his actions have done to both of their lives, but especially to Sir Pent’s life.

And all the references to violence—murder scenes, firing squads, sharpest things—fit with the fact that both of them chose to live lives soaked in blood.

So it’s a perfect Alastor song. The only problem is, it’s an MCR song, which is sooo far outside of my acceptable genres for him. (I’m not gonna get into Alastor’s genres now bc there are better songs to do that on, just know emo ain’t it.) And not only is it outside of his acceptable genres, it’s in the OTHER character’s acceptable genres, which is very messy. I can vibe with “lovers’ songs borrowing from each other’s aesthetic” a LITTLE bit when it’s used to represent, like, emotional synchronicity or the like (ex: both “Roustabout” and Vernian Process’s “Maple Leaf Rag” are on my “Alastor+Sir Pent style fusion songs” list). But MCR is a big departure from Alastor’s acceptable styles.

Plus, the playlist already has two MCR songs, and do I really need three songs from the same band? Unless there’s a really good reason, I try to avoid having repeats from the same band on one playlist—I feel like a good well-rounded fanmix oughta have a diversity of sources. (With “a really good reason” being something like “I’ve got the playlist divided into five sections detailing five phases of the character’s life and each section is introduced with a different track from the same band” or “I’ve got an instrumental version of the song to kick off the playlist to serve as ‘foreshadowing’ for when the version with lyrics shows up at the most dramatic moment” or something like that.)

If I was going to, like, make it a thing, I could. Justify it like “there’s one MCR song that represents them when they’re together, one MCR song from Sir Pent’s perspective, and one MCR song from Alastor’s perspective, like a little triangle,” but like... if I was going to do that I feel like I’d want to do it with a style that’s either representative of both of them or else independent of both of them, and MCR is so heavily a Sir Pent sound. Basically, having three songs from one band would be okay if it was a band that vibes with the overall tone I’m shooting for in the playlist—but it’s not. So I’m very torn on “Give ‘Em Hell, Kid.”

“El Tango De Roxanne” + “Overture” + “I Hope You Die”

Okay before I can talk about “I Hope You Die” by itself, I kind of have to explain its exact position in the playlist and its relationship with the other two songs I just listed.

While MOST of the playlist is chunked up into the four sections I mentioned earlier (Sir Pent, Alastor, both, undecided), within those sections the songs aren’t really in any particular order. The one exception is the very first three songs on the playlist/the very first three songs in Sir Pent’s section.

These three songs, presented in that order, all as Sir Pent songs, serve as Sir “in war, the side remembered is the side with the most style” Pentious the Super Villain making his big entrance like:

“El Tango De Roxanne” starts slow/quiet, and then (with a couple of brief dips) it gradually builds in volume and pain and intensity, getting faster and more emphatic, switching from mournful longing to nearly-angry anguish, until it ends with a pained scream, steampunkish percussion, howling background singers, and a wailing violin.

And then it pauses, for just a moment.

And then “Overture” hammers you with the most dramatic opening chord you will ever hear on an organ in your life, perfectly matching the energy at the end of “El Tango De Roxanne” and maintaining that level of energy throughout the song.

And then it stops so quickly it’s like someone gasped, holding its breath for a split second—and then some dude yells “You must die! I alone am best!” and the guitars kick in for “I Hope You Die,” leading into a depiction of the most intense, vitriolic, disgusting sort of loathing imaginable.

The build-up from “El Tango De Roxanne” and “Overture” really revs up “I Hope You Die,” the intensity of the organ in “Overture” highlights the intensity of the guitar in “I Hope You Die,” and all together it hypes up what could have been just a dark humor song about hating someone into something that sounds like a very genuine demonstration of hatred.

And taken all together, it makes for a fantastic intro for Sir Pent.

It also serves as a perfect intro to the current state of affairs between him and Alastor—sort of expressing his personal emotional journey on the morning Alastor betrayed him, as his reaction transforms over the course of three songs from grief/despair to fathomless fury.

There’s more I could say individually about “El Tango De Roxanne” and “Overture,” but I won’t, because it’s “I Hope You Die” time.

“I Hope You Die” (Lyrics - warning for a whole stanza dedicated to hoping someone gets raped in prison)

A small handful of the songs in my Hazbin playlists were discovered in and added from existing Hazbin character playlists I found on Spotify before I started making my own. “I Hope You Die” was one of them, found here. Which is why it was added even though it doesn’t fit my strict genre standards, it won me over before I narrowed down the styles I’m working with lmao.

(I feel like “El Tango De Roxanne” was one of those too, but I can’t now find a Spotify playlist containing it that added it before I did. Where did I grab it from? It’s not something I would’ve looked up on my own, something must have inspired me. IDK what though. None of the other songs mentioned in this post were found on other playlists.)

So this song is, obviously, just about how much some dude hates somebody else and wants extremely horrible things to happen to them. It’s sorta... *eyes lyrics uneasily* ... sorta tasteless; but, tasteless in a way that I feel like reflects back on the character singing the song. The feeling I come away from after finishing the song isn’t “the band wants you to think the person they’re singing about deserves this to happen to them,” because it doesn’t even give a reason why the singer hopes this person suffers; but rather, “the band wants you to think that this is the kind of hatred that the character/persona the singer is portraying is capable of, this is the kind of vile stuff that character wants to see done to their enemies, this is representative of the depths of that character’s rage.” Which is why I’m like “yeah... okay, sure, that fits” even though I’m real iffy about the last couple stanzas.

Because for a character who’s in Hell surrounded by people who have stomped on the last dredges of their civility and decency, and a character who’s patterned after a super villain (and, because the series creator dropped the idea that there are heroes/villains in the living world, the only super villain in this setting), and a character who gleefully boasts about being evil, and a character who we know demonstrates very rapid/extreme emotions and expressions of hate/outrage... Yes, I can absolutely see this song as the exact sort of hatred Sir Pentious would level at somebody who’s slighted him. And Alastor blew way the hell past “slighting” him. Alastor, without exaggeration, has ruined his life (afterlife?) and over fifty years later Sir Pent is still unsuccessfully struggling to get back up to the level he was at before he even met Alastor. Right now, Sir Pentious really and truly and deeply despises Alastor.

A song like this—sheer, frothing, unrestrained, vengeful contempt—tells you a whole lot about what kind of emotions Sir Pentious is capable; and it tells you a whole lot about the kind of effect Alastor’s actions have had on him, to inspire this level of reaction from someone who was very close to him for fifteen years and increasingly in love with him for probably a good amount of that time.

Plus, the “You must die! I alone am best!” is such a very, very Sir Pentious sentiment.

So that’s those songs! Again, y’all are free to ask me for my thoughts on more. Yes, most of them will probably be like this, lol.

[starf]

StarF’s Top Ten Albums of 2018

Ah yes, it’s time for the one time a year that I use Tumblr these days. We’re already roaring well into 2019 but it’s about that time that I let you know my top ten picks for the previous year! For anyone new here, if you’re screaming “BUT IT’S MID-FEBRUARY!” you can cool your jets, because I always wait a month or so to let any late-year straggler releases really set in, and give everything time to breathe. I wouldn’t want to include an album just because it was recent in memory, or exclude anything by jumping the gun!

As I type this I want you to know that I haven’t at this moment solidified my top ten. I have a rough idea, but it’s tough this year, let me tell you. 2018 had SO MANY great releases, and so many consistent releases, that it’s painful for me to only choose ten. But alas, that’s the system that I’ve chosen, and so ten must emerge. Here they are:

10. The Grammar Club - Live Slow. Die Whenever.

2018 marked the return of The Grammar Club in a big way. They had previously resurrected the project through the use of Patreon, but this was the official release of a bunch of the songs that came out of that (and I believe a handful of songs that weren’t released on Patreon? I’m not entirely sure). In any case, Live Slow. Die Whenever. is a goddamn hit factory. Eclectic topic material, catchy hooks, and powerful delivery have made this album a mainstay in my rotation all year.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

9. MC Frontalot - Net Split or, The Fathomless Heartbreak of Online Itself

Speaking of the return of notable nerdcore artists, MC Frontalot finally released his new album! Previously teased simply as The Internet Sucks it took on what is quite the mouthful of a title and an absolutely amazing cover. Net Split is an interesting album for me personally because it is actually very similar to a concept that I wanted to do years ago, which is to make an album examining how the internet has affected and changed culture through a sociological lens. Net Split isn’t quite as analytical as that description would make it sound, but it is essentially the same idea: a collection of songs examining and criticizing the internet. They are well written, bitingly relevant, and incredibly catchy. The once-eponymous Internet Sucks has gotten stuck in my head probably once every couple days since I first heard it.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

8. Cursive - Vitriola

This album came as a complete shock to me in the greatest of ways. One day I was browsing my local record shop and saw on the “New Release” board that Cursive had released a new album. I bought it immediately, and didn’t regret a thing. Where Net Split takes a hard look at the internet and what it’s done to us, but in a light and fun way, Vitriola takes a look at society with a sneer and a scowl. This album is dark, moody, and will suck you into its world immediately and not let you go.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

7. EURINGER - EURINGER

If you’re sad that Mindless Self Indulgence hasn’t released an album since 2013 then rejoice, because EURINGER is gonna be your fix. A new project from Jimmy Urine, this album surely feels like the next logical step from MSI while also breathing some new life of its own. A journey through a warped mind, this album takes its turns being completely in your face and completely wrapped up in its own world. Built like some sort of psychotic 80′s pop fantasy for the modern day, this album surely won’t be for everyone, but it’s a slice of heaven for those it is for.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

6. Marc With A C - Obscurity

Would it be a StarF top ten list if it didn’t include a Marc With A C album? It would, but it wouldn’t be a very good one! Obscurity is the latest and best album to date from Marc With A C, and there’s good reason for that. To put it short this is the album Marc has wanted to make for quite some time, and now that it’s here it’s clear to see that there was a reason that this was the one. The content walks the line perfectly between light hearted and deadly serious. It’s funny, it’s touching, it’s got something to say, and it’s going to do all of these things in songs that you’re going to be singing by your second spin of the record.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

5. Supercommuter - Trash World

2018 truly was the year of comebacks, wasn’t it? After seven long years of waiting the third Supercommuter album finally came out and I’m happy to report that the wait was worth it! Trash World takes everything Supercommuter has been doing with the first two albums and continues to expand and elevate the universe they live in. Wheelie Cyberman is sharp as ever both in performance and storytelling aptitude, and the vibe of this album is incredibly cohesive. I am also a huge fan of this cover art, I feel compelled to add in.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

4. Mother Mother - Dance And Cry

There’s always one album that’s gotta be difficult for me to link to, and this year it’s Mother Mother. How are you gonna have only one of your albums available on Bandcamp and it’s not the most recent one? I digress though, because Dance And Cry is absolutely incredible. It’s weirdly hard to put into words why I love this album so much, but it just makes me feel a way, you know? The title is a perfect summation of what this album has to offer you: upbeat, danceable pop songs that are somewhere between crying because life is hard and because life is beautiful. This album will move you physically and emotionally.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

3. Wordburglar - Rhyme Your Business

If Mother Mother is going to have you crying while dancing, Wordburglar is here to get you smiling. Also look at that, two Canadian artists in a row, wow! It’s no secret that I love Wordburglar, and to be honest over the last few years he’s become one of my all time favorite rappers. He’s incredibly talented as a lyricist and rapper with an immediately identifiable style. I really cannot say enough good things about him and this album. It’s fun, it’s upbeat, it’s inspiring, and it’s just the tip of the iceburg... if you’ll pardon the pun.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

2. Antarctigo Vespucci - Love In The Time Of E-Mail

Let me plead my case before I even start talking about this album, because some of you might think I automatically throw anything Jeff Rosenstock or Chris Farren related onto my list and that’s why this is here. You’re wrong! Case in point: Antarctigo Vespucci’s previous record, Leavin’ La Vida Loca didn’t even appear on my list for the year that it came out! Not that I didn’t enjoy that record, but it didn’t really “grab” me immediately, so to speak.

...That was not the case for Love In The Time Of E-Mail, which grabbed me immediately and refused to let go. This album is 43 minutes of power pop madness that will drive its tunes straight into your brain’s core and leave them there to repeat over and over and over again. I can’t stop returning to this album because sure enough each day I wake up with one of the 15 songs in my head. It’s also weird to see that a real trend of 2018, at least on my top ten, is albums that are specifically focused on the internet and what it’s doing to us.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

1. Jeff Rosenstock - POST-

...oh come on, is anyone even surprised? Listen, it’s the same case as I said above, I wouldn’t include this on my list at all if I didn’t truly feel it belonged here. But here’s the deal: POST- dropped as a surprise on January 1st of 2018. The FIRST day of the year, and over a year later I am still listening to it regularly and finding new reasons to fall in love with this album. I love it for many of the same reasons I love the AV album (big surprise there), but while it shares the same catchy qualities of Love In The Time Of E-Mail, it also does so with a reckless fervor. POST- is an emotional explosion and reaction to our times, and while it may not be my favorite Rosenstock record, it is the perfect record for the time it exists within.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

[xx420pussydestroyerxx]

Dirk Memories the Third

These r all copy/pasted from vent

Idk I've mentioned but live with Dave post game abt 6 - 12 months, moved out cos being in the honey moon phase w/ ur new bf is no fun when ur brother/brother-in-law lives with you.

KK n Dave never got married. Marriage wasn't something that called to Dave, and while KK thought marriage was romantic n cool n shit, it was a human custome so it didn't hold the same weight to him. It was more a cute trope to him. Additionally, in his mind cos it's a human custom only Dave could propose. SJW KK strikes again.

Nice side track memory but back to main point: once we entered earth C, KK introduced me to Equius, as me in him we best suited to building some of the tech we'd need to get settled. Us two + Jade and Jake were team hardware.

Hmmm I only half finished this draft n I don't remember where I was going with this, n I've talk plenty abt living arrangements so moving on

With Equ n Cali's help, Equ cos SBURB tech is close to troll tech, n Cali's knowledge on the game, we were able to jeryrig a bunch of things to bring people back. Hmmm I'm thinking abt it. And we deffs didn't have Equ n shit when got back. Like people we still dead. I know Roxy worked out how to build something that allowed her to use the life ring to bring all the dead beta n alpha trolls back. The dream bubbles still worked on earth C, so we likely consulted with the Zahhaks n Captors for building the tech we need to bring them back. And preceded to do so.

Also, We refused to let our friends n partners die when we couldn't, so after some more jeryrigging from Roxy, we brought over people's quest beds from their games n people did the die. They were planned n like we tried to make people dying on their bed as least stressful as possible. Karkat requested Dave stabbed him, but Dave so couldn't bring himself to do it. Like Dave had agreed when Kar had asked, and he'd been secretly freaking out in the lead up to doing it. Then when the time came Dave totally flipped out, which stressed Karkat the fuck out. Lots of 'you should have told me U were uncomfortable' pale ass bickering. Eventually Dave realised that if saw KK die it would also freak him out, so he left the room. Then Karkat, practical as ever, was just like 'ugh this was dumb. Dirk stab me and let's get this over with.' 'eye eye captain -stabs b4 he can complain abt the joke-'

Roxy had to be there for all the GT deaths cos she was best at working the tech, I was there with her because that shits stressful n hard to watch, she needed her moirail there. Given it was all trolls we were GTing, everyone understood which is funny to me in hindsight.

Caliborn aggressively went threw phases trying to find himself. Like one month he'd by a bunch of scene shit and sit in the living room with Nep making Kandi and try listening to MSI. Then the next month he'll discover earth C tiktok n try dressing like an eboy for a couple of months. Then he'll discover you know the Russian style where they were like a bunch of Adidas, that. Like he just cycled threw trying a bunch of shit to see what he vibed with. He also just hoard all the shit he would buy in his room. Like, post game all us kids had like practically unlimited money, so I know I at least I let Equ, Hal n Cal (n sometimes Nep if she was around, or Equ would buy things for her) just buy whatever they wanted with my money. But yeah, Cal's room was just one giant pile of shit. He had furniture n like a bed, but he would just sleep on top of his stuff. Like a lil hoarding dragon.

A copypaste from a convo

-holds up my version of Cal- people please let him into ur heart, he's less evil

The alpha kids n Cali: hey we don't have to fight, we can be friends, there is reasons to get along n work together

Cal: oh, hmmm okay -engages with art n fanfiction with both dirk n Cali- -talks abt guns with jake- -engages with Roxy's wizard fics in like a pretty mean way but like Roxy is down to roll with it and it's a very platonic spades dynamic-

Timeline: -is doom-

Cal: FuCKING!!! THIS IS WHY I CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS

Cal: -does what is necessary to excape his timeline, which I've just remembered now ment betraying n killing his sister to GT, and hopping over to my post game, which ment abandoning his alpha kids n leaving them to die as well-

Look, the act of becoming friends with everyone already dooms the time line, if he stayed they all would have died anyways, in some ways his choice was pretty selfish, but it just b like that

I might actually right a fic where all the parts that Cal could have excepted (mostly Dirk's hand) he does

That be fun (future lollie: i have started it)

And there was still alot of work to be done when he came to our earth C, like he had agreed to play the game with Cali, n I think that's probs abt where the time line got doomed? Once he realised he'd doomed them, he killed Cali as per comic, and continued till he GTed to jump TLs

But he only spent a lil bit of time being not completely evil, so he was still very shitty

Like the only difference between comic!Caliborn, n my doomed!Cal when I first met him is that he would willingly call me a friend, and didn't want to kill his sister

Rose was really fucking good for him, she would not take his crap, but knew all the like shrink shit to help him

Working with Caliborn is just helping an autistic kid who in response to not understanding social ques n other people, just got really angry, mean and violent

Which is 100% what he is

Reason why me n Cal vibe:

We were a pair of isolated autistic kids therefore alot of the time we understood each other's vibez, or just didn't do things that NDs did that pissed us off/made us uncomfortable

Like, Neither me or Cal are gonna ask 'what are U playing?' and actually mean 'can I play?' Like, I saw a post abt that yesterday! Is that a thing?!?!?! Why would U ask that way?!?!?!