#i mean between this and nightmares

[pumpkin-spice-whump]

Bonfire

i wrote some Kensington! Yayyy!!! its a chaos post that got stupid long. enjoy

CWs: minor whumpee, slave whump, noncon use of drugs and alcohol, underage drinking, recovering alcoholic, referenced abuse, beating, a reveal, Bad Choices by Ashley

Masterlist

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Kensington sat criss-cross on the hardwood next to the sliding glass door, staring outside. It was getting warmer outside, almost summer again. Summer had always been his favorite season, despite usually having to work in the heat. He loved the flowers and full trees, the sprinklers watering the soft grass and bees buzzing around him. He loved how it smelled, and how it felt. People were more relaxed and kind.

Grayson had bought him at the tail end of last summer. Which meant that Kensington had lived with him for almost a full year. A year wasn’t really that long, when he thought about it. He’d lived through nearly eighteen of them. But in just one year, Grayson had single handedly ruined his life.

He was missing parts of himself he didn’t think he ever would. He couldn’t see properly. Couldn’t hear. He hurt constantly, was always scared and on edge. The only reprieve he’d gotten was when Grayson went on business trips, like he was right now. But it would end just tomorrow night, and Kensington was scared to death of having to face his master again.

At least he had Ashley. Beautiful, selfless, strong and gentle Ashley. Ever since she’d met him, she’d been nothing but kind. She picked him up when he fell, fed him when he was hungry and held him when he cried. She should be home from work any moment now, and Kensington found himself looking forward to that time every single day. He was definitely looking forward to it now, staring at what he wanted more than anything, but was forbidden from.

What did Grayson gain? What exactly was so exciting to him about tormenting and hurting a pathetic slave? Kensington couldn’t fight back if he wanted to, so what was the point? It had been almost a full year since he’d snuck out his window, and he could count the number of times he’d been out since then on one hand. Just because Grayson knew it hurt him.

Kensington felt his chest get hot with anger. It was new, this ball of rage he carried within himself, but he thought liked it. The only downside was that there was nothing he could do to get it out of his system, so he just kept it deep inside himself, feeding it and keeping it alive.

The only downside, besides having no outlet for his newfound anger, was that it always made him cry. Nothing was stupider than crying when you’re angry, and doing it only made him angrier.

Kensington brushed the tears away with his sleeve, standing and pulling the blinds, hiding the outside world he couldn’t be a part of.

He collapsed on the couch, arm over his eyes and took deep, calming breaths. He couldn’t spend the entire day crying and feeling stupid, it was his last day without Grayson for a while, and it would not be wasted. He took a few more minutes to get a hold of himself before making some pink lemonade (something he’d only started having since Ashley moved in) and putting on a TV show.

He heard her voice before he heard the key in the door. Kensington unconsciously sat up straighter, turning slightly to see the front door open before turning back like he didn’t care.

“No, I’d love to come, but you don’t get it,” Ashley was saying. She closed the door and went to drop her bag on the counter, shucking off her jacket. She waved at Kensington, who shyly waved back. “Daniella, please, I told you... It’s personal! I don’t have to --” she looked at the ceiling, annoyed. “Whatever. I’ll talk to you later… Yeah. Okay, I’ll let you know… Mm-hmm. Bye.” She put her phone face-down on the counter and groaned.

Kensington paused the show, screen frozen on a bloodied knife in the air, ready to come down again. “What’s wrong?”

Ashley rolled her eyes, filling up her water bottle. “Ugh. Some of my friends from before want me to come to a bonfire. And it’s not like I don’t want to go, I just don’t want to put myself in that environment, you know?”

He knew. Ashley had started being very open with him about her alcohol addiction, since no one else in her family cared to listen to her. He liked being trusted like that.

“But they really want me to go, since I’ve been ‘MIA’,” she punctuated the word with air-quotes, pausing to take a drink. “It’s the first bonfire of the season, too, so everyone’s like, psyched.” She collapsed on the couch next to Kensington, putting her feet on the coffee table. “I don’t know.”

“Sorry,” Kensington said, not sure what else he could say. He didn’t know anything about bonfires or addiction or friends. He was a shut-in essentially, with no experience in life and no advice to give. “I wish I could help.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I want to go, I just don’t trust myself to go alone. If I had someone who knew and could go with me…”

She trailed off and then looked to Kensington, eyes bright.

He furrowed his brows. “What?”

Ashley smiled. “You wanna come?”

Kensington laughed. “Yeah, right.” Ashley didn’t laugh. He felt his face drop. “Wait are you serious?”

She shrugged. “Why not? You can come and keep me sober, meet my friends, get out for once! And Gray’s gone until tomorrow. It’s perfect!”

Nerves bundled up in his chest and he squirmed in his seat. “I don’t know, Ashley…”

“Come on! It’ll be so much fun, Kensi! Don’t you wanna go out for once?”

Kensington sighed. “I’m not allowed to go in the backyard, much less leave the house and go -- where?”

“Lake Millercroft. Just fifteen miles outside of town.” Kensington opened his mouth, but Ashley spoke first. “Hear me out. When will you get to do this again? Grayson will never know. I won’t say anything. And who knows when he’ll let you out of the house. I mean, like you said, he doesn’t like you in the backyard! Don’t you miss it?”

He missed it more than anything. Almost more than the parts of him that were taken. Ashley couldn’t possibly understand how much he missed just existing in a space that wasn’t this stupid house.

And really… how would Grayson know? He didn’t associate with Ashley’s friends, Ashley wouldn’t say, and Kensington definitely wouldn’t say. There was no telling when he’d get another chance. If he’d ever get another chance.

So, tentatively, he nodded.

Ashley squealed, throwing her arms around him. “Oh yes! Thank you thank you Kensington!” She stood up, the hug going by so quickly Kensington could hardly enjoy it. “Oh, I’m gonna call Daniella back, she’ll be so excited! This will be so fun!”

Kensington listened to the conversation for just a few seconds before turning back to the TV and resuming his show. He tried to be just as excited as Ashley, but he couldn’t ignore the anxiety building in his stomach.

-----------------------------------

The light of the bonfire shone all the way at the end of the road, cars parked along it and up to the beach. Some red taillights illuminated the incoming darkness, other partiers arriving a little late like they did.

Ashley’s entire face was lit up, glowing red as she pulled to the side and turned off the car. “There’s more people than I thought, but that’s okay, right?”

Kensington felt his stomach flip. “I guess.” Several smaller fires dotted the shoreline, groups laughing with drinks in hand. But the big crowd was by the big bonfire, the headliner. 

There certainly were a lot of people there. Ashley made it sound like a small thing, just a few close friends. There were at least thirty people on the beach, with more cars pulling in behind them. He already felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

“Hey.” He looked back to Ashley. “It’ll be okay.”

Kensington swallowed. He met her eyes. He wanted to get lost in them. “What if…” he lowered his voice. “They’ll be able to tell.”

“Tell what?” she whispered back.

“Tell that… what I am. They’ll be able to tell.” He gestured to the barcode printed on the back of his left hand, and then to his missing finger, missing ear, heavy scars, and left over bruises. Even though he wasn’t wearing his collar like he was supposed to when he left the house… They’ll know. And there’s no telling how they’ll treat him because of it.

“I’ll look out for you.” She reached over the center console and took Kensington’s ruined hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. “We’ll look out for each other, yeah? I got your back, you got mine.”

He stared down at her hand, her perfect, smooth, manicured hand, holding his scarred and disfigured one. She could do this. She always did things like this. Kensington used to be able to do this. He used to be able to leave the house, to talk to whoever he wanted, to feel like he might be able to belong.

He wasn’t like that anymore.

But Ashley was so excited, and she needed him to keep her sober, to watch out for her. So, despite the anxiety and nerves taking over him, he nodded.

Ashley smiled at him, and they both stepped out of the car.

Kensington jammed his hands into his pockets, bracing himself against the breeze. It wasn’t cold yet, but it would be later in the night. Hopefully Ashley wouldn’t want to stay super long…

“Ash!”

A woman with long black hair and a crop top ran towards them, hugging Ashley so hard that Kensington thought she’d cut off her air.

“I’m so glad you made it, I haven’t seen you in forever!”

Ashley pulled away, putting her hands on the woman’s shoulders. She had a belly-button piercing. “I know, it’s been too long! I’ve missed you so much.”

Kensington took his hands out of his pocket and fiddled with the sleeves of his flannel, pulling it down over his barcode. The woman noticed him and gave a little tilt of her head.

“Oh.” Ashley stepped away, putting a hand on Kensington’s shoulder. “Daniella, this is Kensington.”

Daniella narrowed her eyes. “Are you just bringing underage boys to parties now, Ash?”

Ashley rolled her eyes as Kensington’s face burned. He looked towards the fire instead, watching as the group around it grew.

“He’s my cousin, freak. Don’t be weird. This is Kensi. He’s visiting and Gray’s out of town so I figured why not?”

Kensington tried not to seem surprised as he looked back at Ashley. Cousin? Like… she’s claiming him as family? He felt his eyes widen before Daniella shrugged, accepting it.

“Whatever. Hey, Kensi, want a beer? Ash?”

“He’s underage, Dani. You literally just said that.” Daniella shrugged again, backing up toward a cooler half-buried in the sand and taking out two cans of beer. “So?”

“His parents would kill me if they knew I let him drink. And I’m driving so none for me either.”

“Alright.”

And that was it. Daniella and Ashley started the walk towards the bonfire, Kensington uncomfortably trailing behind them.

Ashley wanted Kensington there to keep her sober. She’d already done a fine job deflecting a drink that was handed to her. What else did he need to be there for? Kensington didn’t really know how it all worked, but wouldn’t she be good now?

He stood next to Ashley by the bonfire, shivering as another breeze went by.

Ashley quickly busied herself, screaming in excitement while seeing other friends, deflecting questions left and right about where she’d been and why she hadn’t been answering their calls and who was that teenager she brought with her?

Kensington just awkwardly smiled when he was referred to, keeping his sleeve down over his hand. His hair over his ear. His left side to the group.

How did he used to be comfortable with all this? How did he used to talk to people and feel safe in groups?

There were too many people surrounding him by the bonfire, too many eyes and whispers behind cupped hands. They knew. They all knew what he was and what had been done to him and he did not want to be there anymore. 

He wanted to go home and enjoy his last night without Grayson for a while. He wanted to watch TV and build LEGOS and enjoy himself without looking over his shoulder in fear the entire time. He wanted to be comfortable and safe for once in his life.

Suddenly the air was too thin. The bodies and the smoke and the smell of alcohol were choking him and he needed to breathe but he couldn’t. It was too full here, too suffocating. He looked for Ashley but it seemed like she had gotten swallowed by the crowd, and he didn’t want to bring attention to himself by calling out for her.

Kensington gently pushed his way through the crowd -- well over a hundred people -- and walked away as fast as he could without drawing suspicion.

It was much colder now, the breeze stronger, but it didn’t matter. He just needed a moment to himself, and for once he could actually step away -- outside -- to have it.

Alone, Kensington turned his back to the fire and stared out at the lake. He took a deep breath in and allowed himself to revel in the feeling of being outside again. The cool night air carrying the smell of the lake and the fire. The movement of the sand and rocks under his shoes. The gentle waves of the lake-water lapping at the shore in the wind. They were all things Kensington had missed, things he hadn’t seen in months or years. He knew he missed it, but he didn’t know how much until he was able to be there again.

Warm tears made their way down his face. Kensington closed his eyes, letting the wind dry them. The sounds of the party faded away, and he let himself bathe in this moment, a moment he would surely never get to feel again, for as long as possible.

A particularly loud shout snapped him out of it, blinking away the tears and turning towards the bonfire again. It seemed a group of girls had taken off their tops, showing off their bras to the entire party. Kensington found himself searching for Ashley in the group and shamefully turned his face back to the lake, wiping his tears. Ashley clearly didn’t want him thinking about her that way. He wouldn’t want anyone thinking about him that way either.

“Hey!”

A ring of men in their twenties at a smaller nearby fire called out. Kensington looked around himself, seeing no one, and looked back.

“Yeah you! Curly! Come here!”

He glanced at the bonfire crowd briefly, but didn’t see Ashley. And if she was one of the ones who took their tops off, then he wouldn’t see her. He wouldn’t betray her trust like that. He trudged through the sand to the campfire.

A man with tanned skin and a backwards cap greeted him. “Hey man. You come here with someone?”

Kensington nodded.

Another man spoke. “Someone brought their little brother? What are you, like thirteen?”

“Seventeen,” Kensington answered automatically.

The last man, a blonde in a hoodie with some word Kensington couldn’t read on it, spoke. “What’s your name?”

Kensington shoved his hands in his pockets. “Kensi.”

“That’s a girl’s name, bro,” the blonde said. “I’m Ethan. This is Mike and Teddy.” He pointed to the second, then first man. They each nodded as their names were said. “You want a beer?” Ethan reached down into a cooler before Kensington even answered.

“Oh, I’m -- I’m okay. I don’t really drink --” A cold can was thrust into his hand. Kensington swallowed. “I’m not allowed…”

“Oh come on, Kensi,” Teddy said, taking a drink. “Mommy’s not here tonight. Don’t be a pussy.”

“Yeah, man,” Mike contributed. “Let loose. Here.” He took the can from Kensington’s grasp and opened it. “Drink.”

He stared openly at the three men before him. They didn’t know he was a slave. They couldn’t have. They were just doing it because he was young and alone -- just because they could. And that scared Kensington more than he could process at that moment.

With a shaking hand, he drank.

“No, dude,” Ethan said. He tipped the can back towards Kensington’s lips. “Drink.”

Kensington choked and coughed on the bitter taste, but Ethan didn’t let go. His chest tightened, lungs burning as he downed nearly the entire can before he finally let go. Kensington keeled over, coughing and gasping for air. The men laughed.

“Never chugged a beer before?”

“Aww are you okay, baby?”

He straightened himself out, gulping in the cool night air. It wasn’t nearly as comforting as it had been a few minutes ago.

“You’ll live,” Teddy laughed, patting him on the back. “Here.” Another can was thrust into his hand.

Kensington felt tears prick his eyes, but he did his best to push them away. He did not want to know what they’d do if he cried. How many more times would they make him drink? He couldn’t even think about it before it was once again raised to his mouth and kept there, forcing him to once again drink the entire can. Kensington choked, spilling it over his shirt, and keeling over again, trying not to vomit. His stomach rolled dangerously.

“Here, I got something real good for ya.” Kensington looked up to see Mike pulling a plastic baggie from his pocket. He removed what looked like a crumpled cigarette from the bag, smirking at Kensington. “I’m assuming you’ve never had one of these?”

“What is it?” Kensington asked, wiping his mouth. He glanced back at the bonfire group, body tensing as he thought about running. Unfortunately the men must’ve thought the same thing, as Ethan and Teddy each put a heavy hand on his shoulders.

Where is Ashley?

“Don’t tell me you’ve never even seen a joint?” Teddy laughed.

Mike lit it up and took a drag, face relaxing. “Take a hit.”

Ashley please I want to go home. 

His head was already starting to buzz from the alcohol -- the first taste of it he’d ever had. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was being offered, but he had a pretty good idea and wanted none of it. Not if it would only make him feel worse. He hunched his shoulders, crossing his arms and looking away. “No.”

He could almost physically feel the mood around him change. They dropped the harmless facade almost immediately and leaned into the cruelty they were pathetically trying to mask.

The hands on his shoulders slid to his arms, and wrenched them behind him, leaving him bare and vulnerable for anything they wanted to do. His breath visibly hitched, panic sparking in his chest. He tried to pull his arms back, but they were much stronger than him. He was trapped.

Kensington prayed they wouldn’t see his barcode. These were people who couldn’t know he was a slave, no matter what. If they were willing to treat him like this if they thought he was free, who knew what they would do if they knew…

Teddy stepped forward, invading what little space Kensington had. “Take. A. Hit,” he ordered. The smell of the joint was already giving him a headache. “Now.”

With a quick glance around, trying desperately to catch the eye of someone -- anyone -- to help him and coming up with nothing, Kensington accepted his fate.

He immediately fell into a coughing fit, trying to wrench his head away. The feeling of smoke in his lungs was severely unwelcome and he needed it out. As soon as Teddy took it away and the tears in his vision cleared, Kensington felt the high coming on.

He needed to get away from them. Now. The feeling in his chest and his head were awful and made him feel like he needed to throw up or lay down. Or both. He didn’t know how far they were planning to take their fun, but he did not want to find out.

The joint was shoved in his face again. “Here, take another.”

Kensington shook his head. “Please… please let me go. I … I don’t like this…”

The men laughed.

“Aww you don’t like it?” Ethan asked.

“Guess we gotta let him go boys.”

“See ya have a good rest of your night!”

Teddy took a hit, exhaling slowly and letting his eyes slip closed. “Kensi. Kensi, Kensi,

Kensi.” He opened his eyes again, staring Kensington down. “You’re with us now, kid. Buckle up for the night, because you’re just not leaving.”

The backhand took him completely by surprise. His head whipped to the side, shoulders hunching. He would’ve fallen to the ground save for the men holding him up. 

“Pussy,” Teddy said. He punctuated it by spitting in Kensington’s face and laughing like an idiot.

The fear in Kensington’s chest grew.

And so did his anger.

These men thought they were the scariest thing that had happened to Kensington. They thought that they held all the power in the world, that he would go home and think about this night for years to come, terrified that he could come across them again. Every day in Kensington’s life was like this. Someone else always held his life in their hands, and they never once cared about it.

He’s not with them. He’s leaving.

Kensington geared back and rammed his shoulder into Ethan’s gut, making him lose his grip enough for Kensington to slip out. He spun around and tried to wrench his left arm away from Mike, slipping away just a little bit before Teddy hit him again. He hit the sand, one arm still wrenched away from his body. The pain broke through the worsening fog in his brain, and Kensington cried out.

“Shut up!” Teddy hissed, kicking him. Kensington’s chest flared in pain.

“No way,” Mike said, tightening his grip on Kensington’s arm.

His stomach dropped, rage completely disappearing, and fear replacing it all.

“This kid’s a slave.”

-----------------------------------

She said no. She said no. Ashley was reeling. She had been faced with the choice between taking a drink and rejecting it and she. Said. No.

Honestly, she wasn’t sure what she was thinking going to the party. She had no idea if she was strong enough to actually stand her ground when faced with alcohol. A large part of going was just to test herself, to see if she actually could do it. And she did. For the first time ever!

And now she had to leave. The pressure was still weighing on her, the need to drink was making her almost shake. No, she was shaking. She had to get out of there.

But first she had to find Kensington.

Where was he? He’d been right next to her the entire night, hadn’t he? Right up until she’d been offered the drink only a few minutes ago… Right?

Truthfully, she didn’t actually invite him to keep her sober. She just wanted to get him out of that house. Grayson was on some crazy power trip with that kid, and Ashley didn’t like it one bit. Kensington was so sweet and adorable and didn’t deserve a single thing her psycho brother did to him.

“Hey, Daniella.” Ashley tapped her friend on the shoulder. “You seen Kensington?” Daniella was wasted. She could barely focus her eyes on Ashley. Some guy was basically holding her up and Ashley judgmentally looked him up and down. He didn’t look totally sober either. “I seen what?”

“Kensi. My cousin, or step-brother or whatever. The kid I brought.”

“Yo, blonde? Curly?” the dude asked. His words were slurred.

Ashley narrowed her eyes. “Yes?”

“I saw him… near the parking lot.” He smiled creepily, giving Ashley a look she couldn’t really decipher.

Ashley glanced over to the parking lot, but didn’t see anyone that looked like Kensington. “Thanks,” she muttered. Before she left, she made deliberate eye contact with Daniella and made the hand sign they’ve had for years. Something that said Are you safe? Do you need help?

Daniella smiled and responded with another sign. I’m fine. I feel okay.

Still, Ashley asked another one of their friends to please keep an eye on her before she went on her search for Kensington by the parking lot.

The lot was deserted of people, save for a few couples getting busy in their cars. She looked at the edge of the woods that broke into the clearing used as a parking lot.

“Kensi?” she called quietly. “Kensington?”

Was he waiting for her by her car? She really hoped so. Where did she park?

Ashley shivered in her thin jacket, wrapping her arms around herself. “Kensi? Come on, let’s go home. Where are you?” Was he even wearing a jacket?

What the hell was she thinking bringing him there? The kid hadn’t been outside in months or something and the first place she brought him was some beach bonfire that got crashed by like two colleges? What was wrong with her? She swore that being sober made her stupider.

“Kensington?”

Where was her car?!

Oh her keys. She dug through her bag and pressed the key fob, looking for the lights. Her car wasn’t nearly as far as she thought it was, and she doubled back to it.

“Kensington? Are you here?” Beyond the sounds of the woods and the bonfire and one car that was getting particularly steamy, Ashley heard a small voice.

“Kensi?”

Next to the driver’s door of her car was a form nearly concealed in the darkness. Ashley exhaled in relief, running to him.

“Kensington you scared the ever loving-- … Kensington?”

Ashley fumbled for her phone, turning on the flashlight. She gasped in horror, falling to her knees beside him.

Kensington was bleeding. Blood ran down from his hairline, covering his face. He cradled his left arm protectively, shying away from Ashley and the light. He was crying, shoulders shaking as he tried to hide his face.

“Oh gosh, Kensington…” she reached out for him, but he flinched away, sobbing. Her heart broke. “It’s me, Kensi. It’s Ashley. I won’t hurt you.” She gently rested a hand on his shoulder. He flinched again, but glanced up at her with tear-filled eyes.

Ashley nearly lost her balance as Kensington flung himself at her, wrapping his arm around her while keeping the other one tightly to himself. He buried his face into her shoulder, sobbing.

She could feel her shirt soaking through and prayed it was with tears. She put her hand on Kensington’s back, rubbing circles.

“Okay. You’re okay. I’m so sorry, but I have you now. You’re okay now.”

“I want to go home, Ashley,” he mumbled into her shoulder. He stank of weed and booze, his words slurred. “Please take me home. I don’t like it here.”

Ashley nodded, guilt crashing over her in waves. She nodded, standing up slowly with Kensington’s weight on her shoulder. She was careful to be gentle with his apparently injured arm. His face rolled on her shoulder, blood shining in the firelight. She unlocked her car and set him in inside, apologizing when he winced in pain. His ribs must be hurt too.

The car ride home was silent. The natural high Ashley was riding by successfully leaving sober had ended as soon as she found Kensington. How could she let that happen? She’d promised to stay by him, and hadn’t even noticed when he’d disappeared. How long was he alone?

Kensington had his head rested on the window, occasional gasps of pain when the car jolted escaping him. Ashley tried to drive smoothly.

“I’m so sorry, Kensi,” Ashley forced out.

He didn’t answer, head turned against the window. Ashley hoped he fell asleep.

Then: “Why did you leave me alone? I only went to be with you, Ashley.”

Ashley’s heart broke all over again.

They pulled up to the house just before midnight. Kensington really was half asleep by the time they got there, eyes drooping and red.

“Come on, Kensi,” Ashley whispered, reaching over and unbuckling his seatbelt. He blinked at her blearily. “I got you.” She threw his good arm over her shoulder again, hoisting him up. He wasn’t very heavy.

Ashley somehow got her keys and unlocked the front door. Grayson’s dark condo seemed as welcoming as ever, hauling in a drunk and high teenager beside her. He was gonna have a wicked hangover tomorrow.

She half-dragged, half-carried him to his ‘room’, letting him down on the cot he called a bed.

“I’ll be right back,” she whispered.

Ashley grabbed a glass of water, some ibuprofen, and an extra pillow from the couch before returning.

“Kensington?”

“Hmm?”

“Sit up for me? I have some water for you.” Ashley had to keep a hand behind his back as he drank ravenously. “Okay. Lay on your side okay?” She made a mental note to refill the water and maybe grab a trash can for him before she went to bed. She propped the pillow behind his back to help him stay on his side. There was no telling how he would respond to the drugs and alcohol. She wasn’t taking risks.

“You okay, Kensi?”

He blearily nodded, eyes slipping closed. Ashley pulled his blanket over him. Poor kid.

“I’m really, sorry,” she whispered, pushing back his hair.

“I don’t feel good.”

“I know.”

“I don’t like it here.” His voice broke and tears started falling down his face again, eyes opening and looking at Ashley with despair. “I don’t want Grayson to come home tomorrow.”

Ashley knelt beside him and took his hand. “I know. But you’re okay, Kensington. You’ll be okay.”

He shook his head. “Why do you always say that? You don’t know that. You don’t know what he does.”

Her heart stuttered in her chest, blood running cold. “What does he do?”

Kensington let go of her hand, curling it into a fist and hiding it under his pillow. “I lost my finger because of him,” he muttered.

Ashley’s face got hot.

“And my eye. And my ear. And some teeth. And he cuts me up and locks me away and I hate it.” He was almost shaking with rage. Ashley had never heard him talk like that -- she had no idea he could. Tears fell, hot and fast, as he ground his teeth with anger.

“Oh Kensi…”

“I hate him. I hate him so much. He made my life miserable and I hate my life now and I hate him.”

Ashley didn’t know what to say. Of course he hated her brother. He did all of those horrible things and Ashley didn’t even have any idea. She was living with some sort of sadistic maniac. Kensington was living with a sadistic maniac.

“Don’t tell him I hate him,” Kensington begged, eyes closed.

Ashley pushed his hair back again, pulling the blanket over his shoulder. She would take a look at it in the morning, along with his other cut on his forehead. She’d clean him up then, too. Maybe she should’ve done it tonight.

Either way, tonight she would just let him sleep.

-----------------------------------

Taglist: @batfacedliar-yetagain @haro-whumps @nicolepascaline

[wyldhunt]

HADES II ↳ Hecate — Ἑκατη, "The Far-reaching One"

[janebonbon]

[nineteen-rats]

Gonna be honest I am really, really, REALLY not excited for this movie. It’s probably in my top 3 worst things that could possibly happen to RA. I have no confidence that they’ll do a faithful adaptation, and even if it’s a good movie, it’ll never live up to the version of RA in my mind (though, to be fair, I doubt anything can). I’ll watch it when it comes out, but the books are forever going to be the only canon for me

[thatgoddamngingerundercut]

BTS Home Party 'I Like It pt. 2' Suga focus

[beaulesbian]

Listen, the truth is, the last year has been weird, you know? And I mean, you know, Max and Lucas and Dustin, they’re great. They’re great. It’s just… It’s Hawkins. It’s not the same without you. And I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El, and, I don’t know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something. - Mike to Will in s04e04

[liltaz-asatreat]

I don't remember if I ever made a post about this, but for a long time I thought Griffin made up the whole clone pod thing to give Barry an excuse to get his body back again and then eventually also Magnus, and that that was a cool little world building thing. But I found out a while go that no, apparently it's a real spell called Clone from the Player's Handbook. 8th level necromancy wizard spell.

Also, it takes specifically 120 days for a body to form completely, which means that technically, Barry could have popped into his body again since before Petals lol

In the spell description, it also says that you can make the body younger, and I love the fact that he had that option but chose to keep himself the same age anyway

Also, since Magnus first gave Garfield his blood during the interlude before Crystal Kingdom, technically his body would have been ready since around the Eleventh Hour, and Garfield decided to just hold on to it for another few months without doing anything with it lmao

OH SHIT WAIT-

GRIFFIN THOUGHT MAGNUS WAS GOING TO TAKE THE CHALICE AND THAT HE WAS GOING TO DIE DURING THE MISSION TO GET IT BACK FROM HIM

HE SPECIFICALLY MADE IT SO THAT IF HE DID DIE, MAGNUS' BODY WOULD HAVE BEEN READY TO GO THEN TOO

Man I love how that whole arc played out in canon, but I so wish we had gotten to know what would have happened if Magnus did take the Chalice and how that would have played out

[eyeballsoup7310]

Can’t wait till we have enough LN protagonists to fill out all the Fears

Mono- Spiral (do I even have to say anything?)

Six- Flesh (body horror and cannibalism? Come on!)

Raincoat Girl- Vast mayhaps (get vanished)

Noone- easy, Corruption (transcripts courtesy of these posts)

Runaway kid isn’t touched by any specific entity he’s just living through hell

Additionally, the world of Nowhere would absolutely just be claimed by the Eye. I think we all already knew this though

[sweetandglovelyart]

Knightfall in Dream Land - Page 4

Meta Knight shares what it was like to grow up being raised by Nightmare.

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

this was supposed to be longer but i got tired (and realized maybe this wasn't such a good idea) so i kinda bs'd this to just finish it up. sorry it doesn't look all that good lol

transcript of my shitty handwriting + more rambling under cut

panel 1:

len: rin, just leave him—

rin: NO! i'm not going to give up now—

len: i know you're upset, but all you're doing is—

rin: HE'S NOT GONE YET!

panel 2:

rin: i know he still remembers, he has to...

panel 3:

rin: kaito-san, it's me; rin. you tried singing one of len and i's songs the other day. you got the melody right, remember? meiko-san's birthday is soon. remember her? a few weeks ago you said you needed to buy her a present. what were you going to get her? do you remember? tell me.

---

aight yea so this is what yall get for picking that ❄️📺❔🕚💾🪦 option on the poll (which btw was related to this drawing)

i'll just keep it simple: basically kaito gets dementia (or i guess the robot equivalent of it??). yeah.

not sure if this takes place on the cusp of v3 happening and just this specific kaito v1 module was unable to be updated for some reason? or if they're all still stuck in v2 and v3 hasn't happened yet/will not happen for a while... but i do know its def before v4 happened, so people like fukase and una don't exist yet

anyways though as you might expect, it pretty much sucks all around for everyone involved. not just the other 5 cryptonloids watching their close friend so previously full of life deteriorate into a husk of his former self, but for kaito himself too. he suddenly can't remember things like where he is or who the people around him are, and its incredibly frustrating b/c he knows he did have the memories at some point, its just as if they got misplaced... there's random bits of recollections that do come sometimes but as much as he tries to hold onto them they flicker and fade away just as quick as they appeared. left sinking back into a feeling of hopelessness that then becomes pure emptiness, as you can feel how you're losing yourself but there's quite literally nothing you can do

visually the static is used to represent a lot of that "foggy" feeling as things become more and more unclear, and given the robot/android nature it makes sense i guess? it's not really seen here but just as an actual machine might be when breaking down, his visual + audio processors begin to malfunction, causing a literal static overlay on his vision with faces/objects he can't recognize occasionally glitching out as well as constant white noise in his hearing and the sound of people talking to him becoming garbled and unintelligible. as time goes on he also loses his own ability to synthesize speech so aside from becoming withdrawn and quiet out of fear he'll say something that makes no sense, he then literally just becomes incapable of responding at all

again (as you might expect), the other cryptons aren't doing very well as this is happening. rin and len see kaito almost like a father, so watching one of your parental figures slowly march towards death is... not great. rin (as seen here) is still trying to hold on, because she swears kaito has had a few good days where he does recall more, where he seems much more like his old self, and maybe, just maybe if they wait a bit more he'll get better [tbh she's speedrunning the 7 stages of grief but goes between being stuck in some of the earlier stages its... not good]. len's grief on the other hand is manifesting itself in a way more similar to meiko's: he's not as distant as her, but he has already recognized that there's pretty much nothing that can be done and just wants to minimize kaito's suffering. len's just as shattered as rin though, but he's not showing it openly, figuring he has to accept it, as fighting against the grief like his sister won't help anything.

i just mentioned meiko so speaking of her: this is also probably extremely difficult on her, as, yknow, the counterpart v1 to kaito. she's withdrawn herself away from kaito, as she doesn't want to cause him pain in case he happens to recognize her, remember something about their relationship, but not comprehend what it means and just become confused/distressed. at least, that's what she says; it's more or so she can't bear to see him in this state, as he slowly loses more parts of himself, so she isolates herself in hopes the pain will be somewhat less when its all over, for having seen him less and not having false hopes of his recovery. that being said though she has definitely still been around him and tried to keep her composure... from kaito's pov, in moments of recollection, its disheartening seeing your wife close friend suddenly ignoring you, almost like she's mad or sad about something, but you can't remember why. did you forget to do the laundry? is it something unrelated? you want to ask her but she won't tell you; why? did she already and you just forgot? why...

miku's usual cheeriness has also crumbled, as even with rin's attempts, she can't find anything to be optimistic about in this scenario. she just feels this immense guilt, that she should've done something about this; she has influence as the most popular of the entire group, surely she could do something to make it all better. but aside from the arguments and indecisiveness regarding ethics and not wanting to do something without everyone's collective decision, she does know deep down its not her fault. maybe someone like one of the technicians or programmers would be more at fault, but she doesn't want to blindly throw accusations either, because surely they hadn't foreseen this happening either; nobody would intentionally throw in such a cruel fate for someone, it was an unfortunate system glitch that they were working to fix, but even if they did come up with a patch for it, it would be far too late for kaito at that point. she doesn't want to dwell too much on the logistics of it, miku just wants to be there for everyone else, because she knows how deep in despair the others are—she is too—and doesn't want their whole group to fall apart after such a devastating event.

as for luka: i would assume we're kind of actually seeing everything from her perspective, so as an audience lens she'd be more objective about presenting everything as it is without putting too much of her own bias/thoughts into it. but she's not completely unfeeling either. she tries interacting with kaito quite often, despite some of the others warning her about doing that too much. she tries talking to him about random things, not necessarily aiming to get him to remember anything in specific, though if any of his memories do surface in conversation she'll def address them and ask if he recalls anything more (and if not that's alright too). on some occasions she's been accused of being insensitive, but she doesn't want his death to be this huge tragedy, she would want him to be somewhat happy in his last moments. after everything that's happened, he deserves to leave in peace, in her opinion.

i've mentioned death a few times and there's a literal gravestone in the original emoji combo so safe to say, yeah, he dies. unfortunately the damage to his hardware is beyond repair from the critical/fatal errors and glitches, and it's decided that it'd be best to ultimately just deactivate him and delete all his files to not prolong any pain he might've been in for any longer. not exactly sure what would happen afterwards (aside from an obvious aftermath of the grief): if this is before/on the verge of v3 happening, there's the situation i thought about of them receiving a new replacement v3 kaito module, which has its own angst w/ it: its almost like seeing a fucking ghost, but it's not the same one they all remember, nor does it have all those memories. and this v3 kaito himself experiencing conflicted feelings as someone who was brought in to try and give back happiness to this group, only to seem to cause more despair for being so similar to someone long gone that he'll never truly replace. again though i'm not sure if i'd actually have that happen for the sake of everyone involved's sanity but it is something interesting to think about

i've been typing this for like 3 fcking hours now and i have no idea if this makes any goddamn sense lolol uhhh. like all my things it sounds way better in my head than when i actually put it on paper 😭 but congrats if you actually went thru the effort of reading all this. i might do more explanations like this of my things if anyone's interested, like of the other poll options, but we'll see

[boypussydilf]

huge shoutout to the empress eyes for establishing that ice kings diary goes so far back that it has entries from when, so far as we can figure out from context, simon was still somewhat sane. Meaning that 1. he has NOT written in that very much to still be using the same book after literal centuries 2. This ^ Is Simon’s Diary

[bugeyedfreaks]

Aside from the nightmare fuel this would be a look for a live-action PPG thing.

…well, actually the nightmare fuel is pretty cool, too.

[sunshinedaysforever]

you know what, it was on me for expecting anything different from mr russell t 'all the information i ever need about anything happening in the world i get from the front page (and *only* the front page) of the guardian' davies but. the nuclear winter caused by *checks watch* No Piano really. really broke me.

[bericas]

I had a dream I got everything I wanted... not what you'd think, and if I'm bein' honest, it might've been a nightmare.

[runsonlovepower]

that does anyone want to drown in a lake intertwined by the antlers it has to be weird post reminded me I made these like a year ago in case anyone still thought I was normal about ven vani and sora much less ven and vani by themselves

[ferretwhomst]

bruh. while planning the current chapter i was like "this'll just be a short chapter which briefly delves into ford's personal issues + the Arrival :) need to give my readers a break after the mess that is the nightmare sequence haha. it'll be like 500 words max"

i just broke a thousand words on this chapter and im not even close to done yet!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED PORTAL STAN. APART FROM FORD HATING HIMSELF THATS LIKE THE MAIN THING ABT THIS CHAPTER

maybe if i make all the other chapters like 500 words longer i can get away with calling this one "short" lmfao

kidding the nightmare is long ENOUGH DEAR GOD IT'S ALMOST 3000 WORDS-