#i mean ofc all my mutuals also counts as my friend

[daisyvisions]

Hide and Seek - (l.hj)

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Pairing: Best friend!Hyunjae x afab!reader

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Summary: You thought avoiding your feelings by completely avoiding Hyunjae would solve everything. But a little game of hide and seek changes that.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Word Count: 2.7K

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), bff-idiots-to-lovers, mutual pining, close proximity, pussy job (? we’ll classify it as such), fingering, slight oral (f! receiving), cum eating, groping (lots of it), pet names (honey and sweetheart), premature ejaculation (if you squint), a lil angsty but happy ending ofc! proofread once

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. A/N: a more detailed version of this ask (obv) and all the other asks that were related to this. Belated Happy Birthday to my bias wrecker I hope you’re happy with all the brain rots you’ve given me ever since 😭

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Network: @deoboyznet

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

You were just supposed to spend the night with good company, good music, and maybe even play some drinking games here and there. But nothing could've prepared you for the what was to come. Nothing could’ve prepared you to be stuck inside a stuffy closet with the person you were trying to avoid this entire night…

Lee Hyunjae.

It’s not that you had any bad blood with him. It was quite the opposite. You two were like peas in a pod. Best of friends ever since you met in college. But lately… you’ve been having these weird feelings for him.

Yes, he was incredibly handsome. You knew that ever since you met him. But how come only now you’ve started to notice the way his eyelashes would flutter gracefully every time he blinked? The way his eyes would have this tiny little sparkle to them when he would look at you?

Or the way he his muscles would move under his tight shirt whenever he would stretch? Or the way his cologne would infiltrate your lungs and keep you dizzy almost the whole day? Or that one time he called you “honey” so sweetly with his warm voice? (Which nearly had you pressing your thighs together to ease the tension blooming down at your core.)

Yeah, this wasn’t any ordinary feeling. This was you… having a crush on Hyunjae.

Just saying his name alone makes your throat feel dry and the butterflies in your stomach fluttering like crazy. You don't even know when this all started. But one thing’s for sure- you would rather die than admit your feelings to him.

The fear of rejection and your entire friendship ruined at an instant. So you thought the best way for these feelings to die down was to just avoid him. And so you did… for about two months now.

But little did you know that distance only makes the heart grow fonder.

Muffled music and people shouting over one another were heard from outside as you climbed up the steps to the house. As soon as you ring the doorbell, you’re greeted by a shit-faced but still incredibly smiley Haknyeon.

“Hey! You’re here!” he pulled you in for a tight hug, instantly smelling the strong scent of alcohol he’d been drinking the whole night.

“Yeah, had to make sure I wouldn't miss your birthday Hak.” You reply.

“And to think, we were almost about to place bets on whether you would show up or not” he chuckles. That sentence slightly stinging as you felt guilty for purposefully avoiding your friends too in the process (since your friends were also Hyunjae’s friends.)

“Well… Don't just stand there. C’mon! You have a LOT to catch up on. And by that I mean the drinks-” Hakyneon grabs your wrist and leads you into the kitchen. And boy did you make you drink.

As the night went on, you were able to catch up with more friends, danced until your feet were starting to get sore, and played lots of drinking games. Eventually, the party slowly started to die down and almost all the guests invited were gone except your close circle of friends.

All of you were just sitting down in a circle in the middle of the living room laughing around, sharing stories of what happened tonight, and just enjoying each other’s presence.

You missed this. You missed being with all your friends. But of course, your stubborn ass refused to be around Hyunjae which made it incredibly difficult having him sit across you with a look in his eyes you couldn’t read.

“Oh oh I know! Why don’t we play hide and seek?” Hakyneon shouts, his speech slurred from having too much to drink.

“Aren’t we a little too old to be playing that?” Chanhee replies.

“Not if you’re drunk. It’ll be ten times more fun!” Eric chimes in.

“Okay! We’re playing it. I’ll be seeker, you guys hide. Ready? I’ll count to one hundred.” Haknyeon instantly covers his eyes. “One… two… three…” The shuffling of feet and drunk giggles were heard as soon as he starts counting, everyone in the circle hastily gets up and runs in different directions trying to find their hiding spots.

You were frozen in place for a moment, trying to figure out where to hide until you just decided to trust your gut and run upstairs to find whatever available spot you could.

You opened the first room your gut was telling you to and spotted a small walk-in closet, quickly running to open the door and shut it close before anyone could steal your spot.

You were too distracted by the sound of your heart was beating so fast from all the running and excitement that you didn’t notice a pair of hands lightly grabbing your shoulders until you turned around. You nearly screamed your head off but your mouth was instantly clamped down by the same hand now covering your mouth.

“Hey, it’s only me. Calm down.” Hyunjae whispers. You let out a sigh of relief as he puts down his hand.

“We can’t be in the same spot, he’ll find us so quick.” you protest.

“Well, I was here first so you’re gonna have to find a new spot to hide in.” He replies.

As soon as Hyunjae finishes speaking, you both hear Haknyeon’s voice from a distance screaming that he’s ready to find everyone.

“Great, now I’m stuck in here with you.” You sigh.

“That wouldn’t be such a bad thing now would it?” He smirks at you. Your heart beating fast once again from the cute little dimple appearing at the side of his mouth.

You both silently gaze at each other for a moment, nothing but the sound of the both of you breathing at the same time. He looks at you with the same eyes he had earlier.

“I missed this…” Hyunjae whispers. His hand slightly moving forward for his pinky to slightly touch yours.

“Missed what?” You reply as you try to avoid looking at him any longer.

“Us.”

“Hyunjae-”

“Why have you been avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?”

“I-it’s not that. I-”

“Then why?” His voice raises slightly. “Do you know how miserable I felt ever since you suddenly cut yourself off from me? Without giving me a reason why?” And that’s when you look back at him. His eyes were filled with a kind of sadness you have never seen before. Your chest started to tighten, feeling incredibly guilty for what you did all because of the fear you had.

You open your mouth to try to say something back until you hear faint footsteps walking down the hall. Your eyes slightly widen and you turn around to peer through the tiny slits of the closet door, trying to see if Haknyeon will enter the room.

As you keep watch you suddenly feel Hyunjae’s hands rest on your hips as he leans in close to check with you, your back now glued to his chest.

“You think he knows we’re in here?” He whispers in your ear. His voice and warm breath sending chills down your spine.

“If we can keep quiet and cross our fingers maybe.” You sigh, closing your eyes for a moment and leaning your head back to calm down your nerves.

As soon as Hyunjae turns his head slightly, the tip of his nose brushes against the side of your head. The faint scent of your shampoo hitting his nose (the scent he grew to love the most) has his eyes nearly rolling back from how good you smell.

But he suddenly snaps out of it realizing how close he is to you right now and he internally freaks out. His nerves get the better of him as he impulsively tightens the grip of his hands on your hips, making you let out a very faint gasp from the sudden pressure on your skin.

Both of you try to ease the current situation by shuffling your positions, turning the opposite directions into each other. But because you didn’t realize how close you actually were, your lips ever so lightly brush against his. You both freeze in that moment.

“Uh- I- I’m sorry” Hyunjae stutters as he starts to freak out from the whole situation. He should probably let go of your hips and back away before anything worse happens but he just couldn’t. Not when you’re this close to him, your breath practically mingling with his.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

The one chance he thought he could patch things up between the two of you now ruined by the lightest touch of your lips against his, the feeling that will forever engrave itself onto his lips. Sounds pretty lame for others but to him? It’s everything and more.

You see, the whole night Hyunjae’s been trying to find the courage to confront you about why you’d been so distant with him. The week you started avoiding him he genuinely felt like he fucked it all up.

Was his crush on you getting too obvious? Were his longing gazes making you feel uncomfortable? Did calling you a pet name want to make you puke? Or when his hands would rest on your waist every so often? Or how about that time he stared a little too long at your ass the day you wore that fitted skirt? Did you think he was a perv? God you probably thought he was a perv.

He felt like he already ruined the friendship without even admitting his feelings to you. It didn’t help either at the fact that you looked so beautiful tonight too. He almost wanted to kiss you the moment he saw you enter the house. To pull you away from Hak and just kiss you like a man starved.

But just like you, he also was afraid of the possible rejection from the one person that held his heart at the palm of their hands since day one.

But all the worries running in his head were cut off when you suddenly leaned forward to finally give him a real kiss. You pull away for a moment to see his reaction but you don't even have the time to do so as he pulls you back in and kisses you back.

His lips desperately move against yours, taking into memory how soft they feel. The way they move with his like a missing puzzle piece.You softly whine with every kiss he gives as you slightly tug his hair between your fingers (and he definitely moans at that.)

You both have been wanting this for so long without realizing it. Everything left unsaid, all the stolen glances, the passion fueling inside you… All unleashed in this tiny little closet.

Hyunjae moves you backwards until you’re pressed against the wall. He nudges your legs apart with his knee as his kisses travel down from your lips, leaving a trail of kisses down your neck until his face reaches your breasts. He doesn’t even hesitate and starts to massage your breast with one hand and mouth your covered nipple as much as he could.

“Hyunjae…” You moan out his name.

“Hmm?” He hums kissing your covered chest.

“Please-” he stops for a moment to look at you.

“Tell me what you need and fuck- I’ll give it to you”

“You. I need you.”

Hyunjae doesn’t even bother asking specifics and just does whatever feels right. His fingers unbutton the front of your jeans, sliding his hand inside like he’s done this a million times before. The tips of his fingers slide in-between your folds, making him groan against your mouth from how wet you are.

Your hips slightly jolt as soon as his fingers find your sensitive bud. He slowly rubs your clit in circular motions, making you moan out his name in pleasure. Just hearing you say his name like that makes Hyunjae’s knees almost feel like jelly.

“I love you so fucking much you have no idea.” He suddenly blurts out, hoping it doesn’t scare you away. You palm his clothed erection, unbuttoning his pants the same way he did with you.

“Then show me.”

Hyunjae immediately pulls down his pants along with his boxers enough to free his aching cock from its confinement. Your mouth waters at the sight of his size. Too distracted by staring at his cock, you don't even notice Hyunjae pulling down your own jeans until you feel the slight breeze on your exposed cunt.

His knee nudges your legs apart a bit more as he holds the base of his cock, angling the head to insert through your folds. You instinctively close your legs again, trapping his member as he slowly bends his knee to thrust himself.

He holds your waist for support as you continue feeling his cock glide through your wet folds, nudging your sensitive clit in the process. You both moan when the head of his cock nearly gets caught at your entrance, tempting him to just push the tip in.

“Hyunjae…” You desperately call out his name as you grab his hair and tug on it again. He doesn’t know how long he’ll last especially with how your sweet voice sounds saying his name. God how he missed you so much.

“Just a little more okay? Are you close?” He asks.

“Uh-huh. Don’t stop-” You beg. Hyunjae quickens his thrusts through your folds like his life depended on it. You almost let out a guttural moan as soon as you feel the knot inside you snap, but Hyunjae is quick to muffle it by kissing you.

You were so out of touch from your high that you didn’t even realize Hyunjae reaching his own high in that moment as well. The sound of him moaning and slipping his tongue into your mouth is what brought you back. Feeling his load spilled through your folds and the sounds of your arousals mixing together is almost enough for you to go again despite feeling a bit sensitive.

“Shit- I’m so sorry-” Hyunjae panics. He didn’t expect to cum so quick. All he wanted was to make you feel good. He feels his cheeks are on fire from embarrassment, afraid that this is what will drive you away from him again.

“L-let me clean you up-” Hyunjae drops to his knees.

“What are you do-oh my god” you gasp. You feel his tongue lapping at your cunt, trying to clean up the mess he made with his mouth. The act alone makes his cock twitch again, but he gets back up as soon as he’s done.

You pull him by his collar to kiss him once more, tasting your mixed arousals before pulling away. You both help each other fix up before looking at each other.

“Did you mean it?” You ask him. “When you said you loved me?”

Hyunjae hesitates for a split second, but after what just happened he comes clean. “Yeah, I did. Ever since I met you.” His hand caressing the side of your face. Your eyes soften as your heart flutters inside, giving him a peck on the lips.

“Good, because I feel the same way. Actually… that’s why I avoided you.” you shyly say.

Hyunjae smiles before giving you a peck on the lips. “You’re adorable you know that?”

“Let’s get out of here. I think our friends are looking for us” Hyunjae says, making you remember why you’re in the closet again to begin with. You grab his hand as he opens the closet door.

You both nearly get startled as soon as you see very irritated Haknyeon standing in-front of you with his hands perched on each side of his hips,

“You know, the point of hide and seek is to be quiet. If you’re gonna do some nasty shit in my closet at least do it IN SILENCE…”

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Any enemies to lovers future AU Sterek fics? At first they annoy each other just as much as they used to, but ofc that changes. Thanks, ur awesome

Oh definitely.

magical protection at the hands of a snarky spark by sychia_rin

(1? I 341 I General)

Stiles stormed his way through the room. The ward he literally just made felt broken.

He eyed the tall man standing on the balcony as he turned to face him, he quirked up an eyebrow looking as shocked as that grumpy face could get him. He must be some newbie guard.

"I just put that ward there shitface. Shoo," Stiles motioned for him to move. The guard stood in place, watching Stiles as he stomped closer.

....

Where an overworked Stiles works for the (royalish?) Hale family doing magical tasks. Vaguely Merlin inspired if you squint.

royal blue fits better with Derek by 08JustLizeth80

(1/1 I 3,129 I Mature)

Where Derek Hale is the prince of England and Stiles is the (extremely) ineloquent and mouthy first son of the United States.

Or

Where Stiles thinks royalty is such an archaic concept it shouldn’t even exist (which has nothing to do with his inadequate and totally not existing crush on the prince).

Knot Your Typical College Romance by stilesanderek (minxxx)

(1/1 I 51,546 I Explicit)

In which Stiles loves studying at Beacon Hills Supernatural University and even though he loves his group of friends, he just wishes that Derek wasn't included in it. Stiles hates the guy fiercely, and he knows it's completely mutual, and what he also knows it's completely mutual is the hate boner they both have going on for each other. What happens after they finally hookup after years of tension, though, isn't something Stiles ever signed up for.

“Shut the fuck up, Stilinski,” Derek hisses, their foreheads less than half a dozen of inches apart.

“Oh yeah, big guy?” Stiles says, stuffing his chest in defiance, licking his mouth once and then finally saying, “Make me.”

all you have is your fire by hansuckss

(7/? I 20,624 I Mature)

“Why wouldn’t I? I mean, if it’s a matter of saving someone’s life. You know,” Derek smirked. “There are lots of things I can do for an hour.”

Everyone knows they can count on Stiles Stilinski, the most composed paramedic at the fire station, and he takes pride in his work. At least until a new firefighter shows up. The newest firefighter-in-training, Derek Hale, is a former football player with a huge hero complex and limitless energy. And until fate brings them together, Stiles can put up with the man's presence. Sparks fly—not in a positive way. The fact that Derek is hotter than the fires he puts out and annoyingly charming doesn't help.

Help Wanted (But Not Really) by reillyblack

(9/9 I 26,096 I Mature)

"Stiles, I'll clear up your confusion about the position. Derek here needs someone to live with him. He's a difficult person to live with, so I won't sugarcoat that. But his responsibilities at the company right now make it impossible for him to actually take care of himself and his home. That would be your job," Laura explained.

Both Stiles and Derek objected at the same time.

Five Times Detective Stilinski and Fire Captain Hale Had Sex In Public, and One Time They Did It In A Bed by bleep0bleep

(7/7 I 32,853 I Explicit)

"Did you say--" Stiles starts.

"What?" Derek growls.

"We're not a couple!" they both retort in unison.

"We're not together," Stiles insists.

Lydia coughs pointedly. "An incident report filed by 87th Precinct Captain Erica Reyes. March twenty-fifth, eight p.m. Came back to the precinct to grab my coat, only to hear Stilinski banging his new boyfriend in the holding cell."

Words Cannot Espresso How Much You Bean to Me by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

(1/1 I 68,366 I Teen)

“You’re late,” Derek informed him coldly, jaw clenched. He barely even moved his mouth to speak. This guy was seriously scary.

And because Stiles was suicidal, he said, “No, I’m Stiles.”

The look he got could’ve curdled milk. Stiles even noticed that Derek’s muscles were tensing, arms bulging even more and wow this guy was scary and hot but mostly scary holy shit.

“You’re not funny,” Derek informed him coldly.

Stiles shrugged. “I think that’s a matter of opinion.”

Like it or Not by Halevetica

(56/56 I 80,902 I Not Rated)

Stiles works as the editorial assistant at Vogue. He loves everything about his job except for his boss, Derek Hale. Derek Hale is the worst and Stiles hates him. But when Derek drags him to the yearly awards dinner within the company, he is forced to play boyfriend for the night to make Derek's ex jealous. Things couldn't get much worse...or so Stiles thought.

(Fuck you they said) As they threw their threads from their wedding bed by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie)

(9/9 I 96,199 I Mature)

First Son Stiles Stilinski just accidentally caused an international incident. And apparently the only way to save human-werewolf relations is to marry him off to Prince Derek of Triskele. Stiles is going to need all of his acting skills to make the marriage look real, because the Prince is kind of a fucking asshole.

Enemy Lines by qhuinn (tekla)

(17/17 I 149,179 I Explicit)

This is the story of werewolf Derek Hale and human Stiles Stilinski: two people who grew up in the same town but completely different worlds, their realities split by the war between men and wolves.

Years later when Derek returns to Beacon Hills, he does it as Alpha of a military pack on a mission to capture those responsible for the region’s resistance. With his main objective, Sheriff Stilinski, out of sight, he settles for the next best thing: his son, Stiles.

Neither of them suspects they’ll need to trust each other if they want to make it out this alive.

The Final Pack by Kedreeva

(33/33 I 428,148 I Mature)

Humankind is fighting its way back from near extinction against the supernatural beings that fed upon the remaining humans in the aftermath of the 2012 apocalypse. On the front lines, Stiles' best friend gets bitten by a werewolf and Stiles must strike a bargain with wolves in order to save him.

[onboardsorasora]

Maybe you have an au that works for this— but thinking about accidental baby acquisition maxiel. Like a “life as we know it” (the movie) AU where they have to adopt a kid, live together and suddenly make it work

Oh! Oh!!

BESTIE. This is...

I don't currently have a fic in the works like this but I honestly love this trope so much. There's a fic I read in my last fandom that did it sooooo lovely.

I will say, I don't remember this film but I read the summary and my brain lit up a little. I hope I'm not like scooping the finer plot points

I imagine they met because their mutual friends are together. Maybe they met originally at the wedding years ago and they're the childhood besties of their friends and get named God parents.

Fast forward maybe 3 years and something bad happens and their friends pass. And it's when they both realize that being named God parents meant that they're responsible for their godchild. Max knew but Daniel had no idea that it was so serious. He just thought it was an honour and now he's extra special uncle Daniel.

Let's say their friends had a son, Jack. And Max goes to the house to meet up with Jack's grandparents who ofc are grieving and don't want to give up their grandchild but Jack is supposed to be in Max's care.

He stays at the house, so Jack has some stability. Daniel comes the next day- he travelled all night. Jack runs to him when he gets inside and Daniel breaks down clutching this little boy to him.

Max offers coffee. Jack spent the night clutched into his chest and he's trying to not feel jealous that he's not clinging to Daniel.

They aren't friends. If anything maybe they didn't really get along during the wedding festivities. But it doesn't matter. They stay with Jack at the house while the grandparents plan the wakes and the funerals.

They both try to explain what it all means and argue about whether telling a 3yr old that death was like final was a good thing. They argue about a lot of things because Daniel believes in protecting Jack a little more about he harshness of the world and Max thinks that it's a bit pragmatic to not lie.

There wasn't really a will because Jacks parents were young and full of life. They couldn't have anticipated the car accident. So because of that any legal decisions made while alive count. Meaning Daniel and Max have full custody of Jack.

Daniel thinks they should allow his grandparents to take care of him. Max thinks they should honour their friend's wishes.

One pair of Jacks grandparents agree with him. Daniel figures they can agree to disagree. but they also can stay in the house with Jack for a little longer before they figure out next steps. Max is one of the executors of the estates and he has to go through all the paperwork and heavy shit.

Daniel watched Jack while Max is working. He spends a lot of time with the grandparents. Daniel moved away after uni and well, he works pretty remote so it's not a hardship to move back. At least until everything is sorted.

Max owns a business so paperwork and lawyers are things he knows. And when all is done he comes back to the house to spend time with Jack. And Daniel.

And it kinda continues like that, unconsciously. They don't like intend to become parental figures but they would do anything for Jack. And sure they still argue but they're happy to provide stability for their godson.

One of the grandparents suggests selling the house and it becomes a point of contention. Daniel disagrees. It's all Jack's known. They can't uproot him after everything.

Something something legalese that the only way to keep everything as it is now is for Daniel and Max to adopt Jack. And be his legal guardians. And the easiest way for that to happen is for them to get married.

Max agrees because fuck it. He'll do anything for Jack. Daniel agrees too because he loves the little shit. Jack is his best boy, his baby wayby. So they have a quick signing at the courthouse. No fandangles or fanfare. And they both completely move into the house.

And that's where things get dicey. Because it was fine before. When they were just friends with a mutual purpose but for some reason a title and a legal document has shifted something.

Max had always thought that Daniel was cute. But now he can't stop thinking about how lovely Daniel is while he's reading to Jack at bedtime or dancing around with him in the house to his dad's favorite albums.

And Daniel always tired to lightly flirt with Max where he could but now-- did Max's jaw get sharper? Are his eyes sparkling in the amber light of Jack's nightlights?

And there's tension and they're tripping over each other. And Jack notices something is different. And he gets worried. Cries that they're leaving him too.

And it's a tantrum of all tantrums and Jack is screaming and wailing and crying for his parents, his real parents. And it takes them hours to calm him. And he won't rest or sleep unless he's touching both of them. Clutching Max's shirt in one hand and Daniel's pinky (the one with the 3) in the other.

They're exhausted and crumbled in the main bedroom because it has the biggest bed. Neither of them sleep in there, it didn't feel right. But holding Jack there, cuddling him close, that felt right.

And maybe Max brushes some tears off of Jack's cheek and kisses him in the forehead and looks over at Daniel who is watching him quietly and Max pulls them both close. Daniel threads their fingers together and Max squeezes and kisses their palms

[astarionfixation]

Chapter 6: "It won’t hurt but a moment, darling"

Part of "Am I Fu**ing Insane !?!" A multi chapter adventure in Astarion’s mind

Rating: Mature for mentions of sex and blood

CW mentions of sexual assault, sex trafficking, panic attacks

Word count count: 6.5k yep, I was away for a week but at least I come bearing gifts words

Pairings: Astarion X OFC Tav

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54356776/chapters/138874459

I have a quite serious praise kink. Which also means compliments in the forms of tags and/or comments might very well spur me to write and post more

** Thoughts "" Dialogue - - Remarks ++ Quotes / Memories

The scene at the inn looks extremely familiar and he's sure some corners of it resemble quite accurately the night before. Except his delusional hopes to find a solution to his current parasite predicament have all but dissolved, yet maybe shape shifted towards an unlikely alliance with her. Small, insignificant human that she is, yet each and every one of his companions seems to have a fascination with her.

And indeed, he catches her eye from across the room, as their accidental mutual friends are buzzing around her, certainly grateful to have their health and strength back without apparent consequences from the night before. And he is sure it's just gratefulness but from the way he sees the wizard getting closer and familiar to her, hand on her shoulder that drops to her hip, certainly with the excuse of the crowd around her, surely he lowers his head and gets his filthy mouth way too close to her ear to make her hear whatever he thinks will impress her.

He finds his teeth gritting and he swears it's just because 

*No one gets to tamper with my food!*

In that instant it is almost too convenient that this lovely, smiling barmaid seems intent to care only for whatever he is going to ask, forgetting every other shouting creature that demands her attention for another pint of anything.

“How may I serve you, my lord”

And he has to bite his tongue not to laugh at the epithet, despite how convenient his looks have been in gaining him access to every place -and person- he has ever set his eyes upon.

“Well sweet thing” he begins with his mellifluous tone set to persuade fairies to give up their own light for him. A long, delicate finger reaches for a strand of her straw like hair and wraps around it, inviting her closer so he can whisper to her.

“I would be so, very very grateful if you could get me two glasses of the most precious drink you offer in this fine establishment”

His movements are studied and rehearsed and his brain might as well focus on the corner of his eye, searchin for Her and considering options to send back to Waterdeep different pieces of the mage in different boxes if his excuse for a flirt does not promptly focus on someone, anyone else but Her. He's not jealous, of course not, *of him?!??* And he knows, from her lips, from her mind how all of herself is pulled to him.

*It was my name on her lips last night! My name on her darn little book! Not any wizard from Waterdeep or otherwise!*

He's brought back by the clinking sound of two goblets that are definitely more elegant and rich looking than anything anyone else is holding in the tavern, and he knows once again how far his simple charm can get him. The girl is smiling at him, full of hope, pulling herself closer from behind the bar so that her bosom is almost obscenely exposed in front of him. And he would be lying if he didn't admit to the flattery it always was to see people stumble upon their own feet in an effort to please him, to be chosen by him for the night, blissfully unaware of how that meant their luck had turned on them forever.

A dark flash threatens to take away his attention from the scene and he knows it's much better not to linger on memories. In one of his exaggerated movements he finds the hand of the girl to bring to his lips, his eyes fixed on her cornflower ones. He plants a long, wet kiss that holds so many promises, none of which he will keep, and he lingers a moment longer so she can have her fill of his attention. As he slowly pulls away his index finger goes to tuck a strand of her hair just behind her ear, brushing lightly on her skin and he can tell already: a word and he would have her, she probably wouldn't even make it upstairs. He holds her gaze and her trembling lips just barely audible let him know that

“Not to worry my lord, it's on the house”

*Of course it is, why do you think we were playing this game, darling?*

His hand swiftly abandons her hair to grasp at the glasses, his work done. As he turns around to find in which ways he will have to skin the mage, he realises his lips are way too close to her ear, but her eyes are fixed on… himself. And they are somewhat even darker than usual? The look on her face he would have called imperturbable yesterday reveals something akin to disturbance today.

*Maybe I will actually have to skin the wizard tonight if he's the reason of her bother*

His head moves slightly towards the stairs to give her a sign and immediately he sees her wriggle out of her company and towards the path that leads to the upper floor. 

*Still such an obedient little thing*

And he is only too happy to follow.

—-------

“What was that? What did you tell her? Did you give away your secret so easily just hoping she would let you drink from her?!?!”

He's genuinely confused, it takes him a moment to realise she must be referring to the barmaid that he already barely remembers. What did she have the impression was happening? Doesn't she know how he speaks and addresses everyone? How his charm is the one thing he has to keep in control of every exchange? 

*Or is she actually Jealous?*

And as he closes the door of her room behind him, the glasses resting now on a surface, he begins to slowly circle -stalk- her just as he just did that afternoon at the glade, his eyes and smile focused completely on her agitated self, the soft traits of her face trying their best to look upset, yet all he can think is just…

*How adorable…*

But this time she's following his movements and turns around to look at him, her back now to the door, and the corner of his lip might be pulling ever so slightly as he considers the possibility of this ruse being just that, that familiarly naughty side of his brain already envisioning her throwing herself at him as they both fall on the bed and

*I might actually let her ride*

“If this is your way of offering yourself instead my dear, I thought we were already clear on the matter. But don't let me stop your plans of persuasion. In fact…”

He takes a step closer and his hand knows already where to find that sweet, pulsating spot just behind her ear, the idea of tearing at the skin and finally finding her sweetness without the need to imagine any longer makes him swallow emptily in anticipation, and his fingers are almost tingling due to the warmth of her skin being so close now and his muscles tense ready to pull her in, fangs almost bared when… she takes a step back?

*What is she playing at? We both know she wants this, she wants me…*

“Come now darling, there's really no need to play coy, at this point it would be only be a waste of time considering what we already shared”

The honey in his words betrays a slight irritation at the distance she put between them, his tone every bit the charming one he has rehearsed thousands of times and has never once failed him.

And thankfully! Thankfully, going through the pages of that little insignificant book allowed him to fill the gaps in ways he truly had no idea.

But now he knows, he has seen it in her eyes, transfixed on him despite the blood, or perhaps exactly because of it.

“But if it pleases your wounded pride you can tell me all about your protestations from your sweetly plump lips while I relieve you of every. single. piece. of clothing. that stands between my mouth and your lovely skin. Because that's what you want, isn't it?” 

He knows how to punctuate and accentuate every word to paint an image.

And not that the mere idea isn’t inviting, he feels his own reaction both in his stomach and his crotch. The notion that, for once, he would actually enjoy taking something -He- wanted, -He- needed, for -himself- and not for anyone’s command or amusement, is almost reason enough to make this the version of the story he committed to.

“Don’t tell me that is not exactly what you envisioned whilst you…. How was it?”

And consequences be damned! Let this be a good use of that little vexing book, to cut any avenue she might think of going up to escape her own desire for him. 

“ ‘Lay yourself down with my Voice pouring honey in your ears?’ No need to imagine my dear, in fact let me show you…”

*I will not be denied, and I won't let you deny yourself either sweet thing*

This is as good a version as any if it will get him access to her blood, maybe even her body because surely…

“I can't believe the privilege that has been afforded to you to still behave like a child and have people find it charming!”

He is so used to leading the game that this interruption comes too abruptly to leave her unscathed by his anger at seeing his plans crushed. 

And if throwing her own words at her didn't make her confess her own desire for him,  there is certainly more to use and hurt her from what he can remember of the little insignificant book. Something they share even. His voice comes out as sweet as the choice of words is cruel

“Oh you want to talk about childhood, do you? Do you want to go over how incredibly wise and mature you were “for your age”, darling? How that clever little mind of yours justified every kind of attention you were at the receiving end of because you were just… too enticing” 

He inhales to punctuate the next words 

“and how flattering that felt for you.”

He went too far. He knows it before he spits out the last word. He can see her jaw clenching and the deep inhale she takes, seemingly vexed whilst really, her heartbeat is telling a different story about the exquisite way his words were just the extension of his dagger at times.

Quick scenarios flash in his mind's eye, 

*Is she going to cry? Is she going to storm out? Can she have anything in her arsenal to hit me back with?*

and to that his body stiffens like a spring ready to jump and react, as if any words she next throws at him could physically hit him

*Because isn't it just what I've done to her?*

It was right, it was fair, and he stood up straight with a hint of pride on his face because no stepping down now could mend her from the hurt his words just inflicted on her. He knew exactly what it had touched, he remembered every single *fucking* word he had committed to memory that night he first had his hands on her book. On her mind. He will not admit he even considered the idea they could have bonded over their shared trauma…

“Get out”

*No. No no no! This is all wrong! Where's the attack? Where are the words I can sneak around and throw back at her?! I need to build her up to crush her down! No!*

The fear of losing her anxiety-inducing presence fills his thoughts with venom, and if whatever this was has to come crashing down now, she can be sure she'll get as much damage as the loss of her brings to him.

“Well fine then, I'm sure it won't take me long to find someone kind enough to share their bed and blood with me tonight, in fact you're right, I might just go looking for that lovely barmaid again, she was so eager to please. Believe me darling, I won't be left out in the cold”

Her eyes narrow.

“You're delusional, as if you're the gods gift to every pretty girl who would open her arms and legs to you”

And that's it, that right there is the space between words that he knows will hurt just right, a cold sharp hit from the throat to that spot just above her heart that decides where her lovely colour and warmth will spread next. His crimson eyes narrow and he moves closer to her and when he's just about to move past her and grab the door handle he whispers with his head just slightly bent, so that his breath can hit her skin as much as his words will her heart

“Well… looking at you darling… I thought it was fairly obvious: she doesn't have to be pretty”.

He can feel how her body tensed up. How a strained sound gets trapped in her throat and a sharp inhale through gritted teeth have her swallow. The light of the candles is strangely reflected slightly more intensely by the corner of her eyes and that is how he knows the blow has hit just right and a strange satisfaction takes over in his chest, making him walk just a bit taller, just a bit prouder because all those decades using his body to get what his master demanded turned him into the perfect offering to anyone's desires and the least of his problems will indeed be to find someone, anyone, ready to take him in, if only he's available to give them anything and everything they might want that his body can provide. It doesn't even matter, he won't even have to think, his body has been marked and bent sinuously so many times his mind doesn't have to be there to give anyone anything they might want. Tonight won't be anything more or less special than that and the price for a warm place to sleep *maybe warm blood to drink* is something that comes as second nature to him.

He's out of the door and his feet guide him automatically towards the stairs, his mind trying to focus on the faces of any of the patrons of the inn whose sight might have already lingered a moment too long on him because that's how he knows, how he has always known that his job will be easier, his elegant form already paving the way towards a comfortable place to spend the night in as soon as he gives them what they want, and they all want the same thing anyway. His head shakes as if his mind better not dig further at that thought, and as he takes the first step down he finds his body slouching down instead, coming to sit on the step as his head bends down between his own knees, his long delicate fingers shaking as they pull at the back of his neck so that his head falls just lower and lower.

And among the flashes his mind offers of all the times he had to offer his body as the matter of an exchange for his own survival, a corner of his brain screams at the door now closed behind him and 

*how could she let me go out in the cold again??!?*. 

His shoulders shrug as he tries to make himself smaller. Maybe spending the night on the stairs is just as acceptable, easier, safer for everyone and safer for him, and how deep his mind must have kept him, attempting to avoid memories of useful seduction techniques coming back to him, to not hear her steps, if not her heartbeat, until the warmth of her hand is once again scorching his neck and he flinches too suddenly for his unaffected facade to remain unbroken.

He tries to turn around, his arms still protecting his face, wrapped around his knees and just his crimson eyes and dark circles peek through, looking at her in a way that might seem unthreatening enough that now her arms have gone circling around his shoulders… and it all suddenly feels warmer and there’s also something… weird, something he can't quite pinpoint, but something that feels like there’s no requirement for each and every one of his senses and instincts to be ready to react.

She breathes loudly, louder than even her need for air requires, and the noise alone should be annoying but after a few breaths he realises his own body is following her rhythm even without the need for it, but the slow, measured breaths are bringing an unexpected calm that washes over his tensed muscles, his jaw unclenches and the grip of his own arms around his knees, so tight he didn't realise it made him tremble, is now getting flushed.

*Because if she has her arms around me I don't need to hold on anymore*

The thought is fleeting and he will deny thinking that, but in the next exhale his body finally relaxes into her warm embrace. She hasn't said anything, done anything but holding him and guiding his breath with her own, and while a slight fear crosses his mind -because if she is to hit him with any word now, he would certainly dissolve- he’s also so tired of the charade by this point he can’t hold onto his persona anymore. It comes as a whisper that a part of him still feels betrayed by sharing, because it is the truth and how will that not be ammunition for her to use at a later time?

But his breath is not his own now, following in unison with hers and so the words escape his pale bloodless lips anyway

“I'm sorry, I couldn't do it, I'm sorry”

She leaves the silence holding space in the air for what feels like an eternity after his shameful confession, but he can suddenly feel her arms pulling him tighter to her. Crouching next to him, his head finds a way to nestle in the crook of her neck where he instinctively inhales deeply and the scent of mulled wine and flowers fills his entire being once again, and besides bringing back a hunger pang down in the depth of his stomach, there is now something almost soothing about what's become so familiar and intrinsically associated with her. He must be so stupid to allow himself to feel what seemingly resembles safety, if nothing else because he never knew what that actually meant, but he's so tired. Tired in a way no rest or trance can bring him peace and so even if her warmth is a lie he's making his peace with it, he'll pay the price in time, but for now he can just slightly rub the tip of his nose on that pulsating spot just behind her ear, her scent emanating from it as a sweet siren song for the beast his fangs belong to, but not without an unexpected and reassuring comfort to some other side of himself, something he hasn't felt stirring in such a long time that he had no reason to believe was still there.

The silence, filled only by their breaths, has become so familiar he might be convinced the stairs could be a welcome spot to spend the night if she keeps holding him like this, but that's when his own train of thought is interrupted by her low whisper 

“Come on, come back, I didn't mean it, I'm sorry too”

And at that he shouldn't feel the warmth radiate from every spot their bodies are in contact with each other down to the centre of his stomach, but it does and it's as unfamiliar as it is pleasant. His body follows hers as her arms still circle him and help him to his feet, his head still following her scent, by convenience that also means his eyes don't have to raise from the floor to meet hers and that makes going back to her room easier.

She helps him to sit at the edge of the bed and that's when her arms retract their support and the loss of warmth feels incredibly wrong. With furrowed brows his eyes look for her to understand what he's done wrong to lose her embrace but they find hers as they seem to be just roaming across his shoulders to the leather atop his shirt. His shoulders move almost of their own volition and the leather is quickly discarded on the floor. She suddenly crouches down on the floor and the movement catches him by surprise, not sure what he should brace himself for until he realises her hands are reaching for his boots.

She might have sensed his discomfort because her next movement is announced by her voice before it happens

“I'm just going to help you out of these so you can lay down and rest if you want, is that alright?”

And he finds himself nodding before the end of that sentence makes it to his ears, the finesse with which her fingers are pulling and undoing his old boots is not something that aligns with a thing that has been broken and torn down too many times to repair and yet the careful way her hands find the way to undo them make it seem like she's dealing with something of invaluable worth.

He's slightly transfixed looking at her movements that only when her eyes meet his again, only then he realises she's done, and with a bit of uncertainty she's back up on her feet.

“Rest here, I will be on the chair and we can talk more tomorrow if you want”

But his hand goes immediately to grab her wrist because the idea of losing that safe feeling her warmth gives him now just isn't something he's ready to do without. He pulls wordlessly until she's sitting next to him on the edge of the bed and that's when he scoots back until his back hits the headboard and then his arm extends towards her in a silent invitation.

He can't read her expression but within seconds he doesn't need to because she's removing her own boots and 

*surely she didn't mean to crawl across the bed to reach me in any way other than functional* 

but another part of his brain seems to stir now at the sight of her on all fours moving slowly *languidly* towards him, until she's taken the invite and nestles her body between his extended arm and chest, her own arm now circling at the back of his neck.

“Is this…? I can't… nothing needs to happen, we can just rest, I am here for you”

And that sounds way too much like a challenge for his body not to stir, pulling her closer so that his nose can finally trace her hairline down to her ear again. Until the memory of her words make him shiver

+He holds a grace in the tiny bone of his wrists that clerics cannot give on freedays+

And it's both consoling and disappointing that the moment he can lose himself in her scent again, feeling her body so close to his, the words she chose to describe him come back to his mind, blessed with the curse of an impossible detailed memory that in this occasion lets him know, beyond what she could say out loud, all the ways in which her body, but most importantly her mind, have been devotedly dreaming of him, in a way that lets him know for the first time in his whole life and undeath, that someone other than himself cares about his existence, not only his survival.

*Maybe just as long as I can grant her immortality too, but still, she needs me now as I need her*

He nods as his head is nestled between her jaw and her shoulder, certainly agreeing but also to spur another whiff of that delicious scent only her skin, hair, sweat and blood could conjure, and that's when another side of him replies in a low, trembling tone coming from his chest

“I promise I won't go too far… but please…”

And with that plea his lips part slightly, his teeth now brushing against that pulsating spot with a rhythm that's been hypnotising him since the beginning of this game. His lips closing upon it in something it would surely resemble a kiss and at that moment, with a wonderful whimper escaping her lips, her head turns just enough so that she can look at him with the corner of her deep, dark eyes, her lips barely parted with a slightly faster breath coming and going through them and now he's almost overwhelmed because it was easier to focus just on that one little spot that meant finally knowing what bliss it could be to feed his deep seated hunger, and yet now the same wonder takes hold when envisioning her lips giving way to his, how easily they would part to give him access, how soft would her body truly be, pliable to his every need and desire, truly begging to be his and sate any and every hunger of his, because he knows, she said it in so many words, all circling in his mind and 

+I will skip, stumble and fall, he’s the blinded fool and I’m content to stand by

I’ll be the conspicuously deranged lover of the air he walks past+

And he has a right at that to concede to the delusion that she might actually be infatuated with him for no other reason than his existence. For a moment he will believe whatever she saw in him was before she could realise anything about his immortality. For a moment he decides to believe her words, committed to paper in that little precious book that was never meant for anyone else's eyes, and that she is head over heels for him just because he's a worthy creature, just like every one of his conquest wanted to believe they were special to him, whilst he hardly remembered their name the morning after.

“it's alright, you can feed” 

the words bring him back and carry a rush to his head filled with a million visions of her body, soft, supple and compliant, all the ways his hands and lips could roam those curves that gave him vertigo at the mere thought of, every way he could make her moan and coax pleasure out of her until she could feel as desperate for him and he did her now, every image fights for dominance and 

*does it really matter where I start as long as I can explore each and every inch of her that’s covered in skin?* 

his lips trembling, tracing closer to her and he’s finally about to taste the gates of her breath when her words hit him again

“but we can’t kiss”

His teeth have to clench because he will not lose his mind over this mere mortal toying with his needs! His eyes tighten to mere slits and his fingers are gripping so tightly to her shirt that surely in a moment the tearing sound will be echoing through the room. She has been playing him all along! She’s just doing this to mortify him and she doesn’t understand what she’s done to him! As his hands release the grip on her clothes he finds his nose trailing back to her neck, now tracing her collarbone with his hungry lips and

*If it’s a challenge you want, a challenge you’ll get love*

He nods so that his soft curls are now certainly tickling her jaw and neck, and he can tell from the way the breath has now escaped her lips that his plan is already working. His fingers roam to find the hem of her shirt and disappear beneath that, finding the stark contrast of the warmth of the skin on her sides, slowly tracing with his tips and nails to her bellybutton. Another sharp breath through her lips and she swallows emptily, and he can feel that just under his lips as they are tracing at her neck still.

“Astarion, did you hear me? You can’t…”

“I’ll do you one better darling, I promise I won’t touch any part of your body, for any reason other than feeding”

*two can play at this game*

He feels her swallowing again against his mouth and now he knows he can gently move his entire body to fit against hers. A leg between hers so that she can surely feel the response of his body, but even with half his chest pressed against hers, his fingers keep roaming her sides, down to her hips and disappearing again under the shirt, halting and changing their course just a moment before they are to brush against the soft underside of her breasts.

He can almost trace the curve and he can tell from her heartbeat that, despite her words, he’s not the only one who's hungry for the other

*but you wanted to play and gods I can make this a torturing little game for you too, my sweet*

An audible gasp escapes her lips now that his lips have locked onto a spot for a moment longer, and she might be expecting his fangs now, yet her body does not stiffen in anticipation for the pain, and that is all the more encouragement for him lo leave a soft, long, obscenely sounding kiss just where her neck meets her shoulder. The sudden jolt that travels her entire body confirming what he already knows 

*your body is aching for me*

and so his lips keep leaving a soft and wet trail of kisses everywhere on her skin, coming down her shoulder and arms and back to her collarbone, while his fingers trace her sides still, and in a moment, when her back arches to meet his lips, he swiftly goes to pull her shirt down past her shoulder leaving her left side exposed, her breasts almost visible but her nipple still covered by the strained collar of the shirt.

*I need to taste you, I need to have you*

At that sight his body betrays him, as another unnecessary mouthful of nothing gets swallowed and he feels his cock twitch pressed against her hips, heaving at the rhythm of her breath. Part of him knows he needs to get this over and done quickly or he won't be able to keep his promise, but at the same time he loves to coax out that side of her that spent all that time thinking 

*dreaming of me* 

The part of her that is now, surely kept prisoner by whatever silly, self imposed rule she decided to lock herself behind. 

*let’s see how long for* 

When his hand reaches up, under her shirt, his nails start to trace the skin just around her breast and a deep moan erupts from her lips carrying his name in a way he never before loved as much

“Astarion!”

The corner of his lips pull just enough, because no matter what she said, he can feel she wants him in more ways than one, and as his nail dig just a hint too much in that delicate area just on the valley between her breasts, she exhales sharply and now he finds her breath to breathe her in, his face so close to hers that nothing is in focus, the tip of his nose grazing hers and he is now making an effort to keep enough distance between their lips yet she is likely unaware of how her mouth is reaching out to his.

*your rules, my love*

His lips trace back to her cheek and down to her ear to whisper as his nails trace her skin from the centre of her chest to that soft area south of her collarbone but still not close enough to her nipple

“Your blood just reaches out to me and blooms every time my nails press and trace just… like… that”

And the way her body arches at his words brings that soft, supple spot just atop of her breast too close to his lips to refuse now. He finds himself surprised at the idea that the first time he’s tasting her is not to give in to the delicious tempting bit behind her ear, but his mouth is now watering beyond anything he has ever experienced, his lips just sucking at that speckle of skin just south of her collarbone, where he can feel the rhythm of her heart so loudly that the distraction is almost enough to ignore that her nipple is inexorably poking through the shirt, just against his chin

“It won’t hurt but a moment darling” 

and then two runaway words follow with 

“forgive me” 

barely breathed out.

Both words escaped his lips like traitors that were not meant for her ears, but that's quickly out of his mind when finally his fangs can break the thin resistance that the soft skin of her breasts was valiantly putting up. 

The warm liquid hitting his tongue sets off an explosion in his mind, makes him realise he has never learnt enough words to describe the absolute perfection that the taste of thinking creatures could bring to his lips, it would take a poet rather than a thief like himself to describe the complexity and richness of the thick liquid that caresses his insides, from his mouth and down his throat where finally the thirst is quenched, and when it fills his stomach every single part of his body feels… relief… every muscle fills with renewed vigour he didn’t know his body could posses, and suddenly he feels his own cheeks, his own fingertips still digging in her softness, getting closer to her warmth, and the flavour is so inebriating that no part of him seems to remember anything that ever happened before her blood traversed his own veins and so feeling his own hips thrust against hers feels just like the most natural consequence of that bliss that's permeating every single part of his body. The softness of her body, even with fabric still separating their legs, makes him aware of the stark contrast with his own, his hip bones as much as his own hardness relishing in the pressure his body needs now, needs to feel as if she could be all around every single part of him. The train of thoughts is becoming so warm and fuzzy while his mouth is still indulging in a mouthful of the ambrosia spilling from her veins when a low whimper from her mouth makes him realise she's gone limp in his arms.

*shit!*

A shred of lucidity comes back to him and he forces himself to end the first moment of true perfection he has experienced in all of his existence. He plants a kiss on the punctures on her breast, gently closing them, and his hand reaches to cup her cheek, her head lulling to the side with slightly parted lips from which her breath comes in faint irregular gasps.

She is magnificent, the most beautiful creature his senses have ever witnessed, her life essence coursing through his veins maybe makes him more compliant to her and only her but suddenly he wishes he could pour every loving word and sign of affection he ever had to master to give it proper significance. Her flavour is more intoxicating than anything her bouquet tried to announce about her. There surely is no life nor undeath to ever be considered if it has to be without the smooth, velvety liquid that traverses her entire being, and now his as well. He should tell her, he wants to and words are about to betray him again when *thankfully* he manages to keep them all in, while only relinquishing a soft

“Thank you” 

and his arms go to circle her torso so he can gather her to his chest, one hand caressing obsessively at her soft curls, holding her, wishing for his body to engulf any reaction that still comes from the trembling limbs. He will repeat to himself that this hypnotic hold she has on him is only due to the fact that her blood is new and fresh to his system, unable to recognise they are two distinct beings. He almost jumps when her hand sneaks on him tracing lightly at his jaw, she feels colder than usual and something akin to panic flashes behind his eyes for less than heartbeat, but then her eyelids slowly reveal her dark eyes once again, fixed on his, and a flash of her pink tongue wets her lips before she can gift him again the sound of her voice.

“you should have told me”

And the slight smirk on her face now makes him realise she’s spent but not in any danger. In fact, the rosiness of her cheeks, the breath still laboured despite her lowered heartbeat suggest something entirely different. Suddenly his nostrils are caressed by the soft tanginess of pomegranate that he now knows to be the herald of her arousal. For a moment he searches his own memories of the night he died and lived forever but he knows better than to linger there. A hint of pride takes root in his awareness as the soft, almost imperceptible jolts still travelling the length of her body tell him all he needs to know about what just happened: Pain and pleasure mixed and merged until the latter won over her.

“And ruin the surprise, my darling?” 

He will deny in every way that 

*really? I did not know...*

That she was truly his first and nothing could have prepared him for the way she felt. Nor the way he did.

Her eyelids seem heavy as her lips pull into a smile at that, her breathing becoming more regular and he can hear her heartbeat pulsating again enough to sing for him. 

He realises he has no idea how to care for a human after a vampiric bite.

Along with the warmth her blood brought to his entire being, there's an unexplained feeling though, just at the mouth of his stomach, that he can’t quite name, as if her sweet reaction is just in preparation for a punishment, now that he has officially broken another rule imposed by Cazador.

*Thou shalt not drink the blood of thinking creatures*

He finds his face contorted in a grimace just for a split second at that thought, and while the instinct comes to hold her tighter to his chest, something else urges him deeply through a physical need to get as far away from her now sleeping body as possible.

[hyunin]

hiiii everyone, this blog hit 1k followers the other day 🥹 tysm to anyone that has followed me here over the years! i'm sure at least a third of my followers are dead blogs from my suju (🤮) era in 2013 before i returned to gifmaking tumblr in 2020, but so many of you joined me once i returned and i'm so thankful for everyone that has reblogged my content and chatted with me and followed me up until this point! 🫶 i wanted to write some fun lil messages for my mutuals and pals below the cut, as well as shout out some people i don't necessarily speak to but like having on my dash also 💗 if u aren't mentioned on here and we're mutuals that doesn't mean i dislike u it just means i'm stupid and missed you 😭 before i get into the messages i also want to ask anyone who can to consider commissioning me for a gifset or writing by donating at least €10 to this fundraiser and sending me a screenshot of your donation! more info on that via this post. thank u so much again everyone!!! 🥳 (edit: i don't think half the mentions in this post are working so please check to see if you were mentioned even if you weren't notified!)

@redvelvetcult hi ele 🫶 i know we don't speak as often anymore but i'm always so happy to see u around and i love you <3 thank u for running yangjeongin with me even if it has been in spirit for 99% of its run LKJSDLFKJSJLKFD still wouldn't be the same without u @bataranqs hi kid! this is going to sound so lame but it's been rly fun watching u grow up over the years through awoo9, every time u use our weird ass humor it's so much funnier coming from u. thank u for hyping up everything we all do, especially my writing!! i really appreciate it and u @anyujins iwin...whew....LLKSJDKLFJLSKF i'm rly happy that we're a lot closer now than when we were last time i made one of these posts. i think we are anyway?? i forgor...but either way ilysm, thank u for your support when i've been going insane over the years and it would appear both of the stories of our love lives that we've been following for so long will have a tragic ending. LJKSDFJLKSLK but i hope we can be friends for many more moments of insanity to come and that we have more good news than bad news to share w each other soon. in the meantime it's always rly fun to talk to u and i am glad i have u in my life @miyawaki ver. i appreciate u v much if only bc u are a major provider of quality shitposts on my dash, u also being into kpop and giffing is a bonus. u are also so funny even if u are also MEAN!!!! it's funny most of the time. and u have also supported me a lot in ur own ver way over the years, and i can always count on u to give me feedback on giffing and such. i'm so happy for u that u are going to uni again and i hope u have so much fun but also don't forget about us 🔫 🫶 @seulggi gfx queen minya! u deserve a shoutout if ONLY bc u are carrying the gfx side of kpop tumblr on ur back fr. and i love seeing what u make on my dash. but u are also an awoo9er so i will give u a long AWOOOOOOOOO of appreciation ❣️ @meongppangz RI omg idk what account is best to tag u on so i tag u here. i rmr the last one of these i made i was like 'hope to talk more under better circumstances' and now we talk nearly every day LJSDFLKSDF i love that for us. thank u crazy person gc for bringing us together fr....love that we can bond over loving ggs and also hating collecting pcs and any other random shit of the day skz is doing. and giffing ofc. talking to u always makes me happy so i hope we continue talking and being friends for a long time to come 🫶 ily. also i'm going through my follow list for this in order of oldest blogs first and i just discovered y'all were one of the first skz blogs i followed. how cute @curiosityjams hi drea, we haven't spoken ages but i wanted to shout u out individually as well because i still enjoy seeing u on my dash and i still consider us friends 🫶 fellow eunbi stan...i will never forget waiting for the 2020 election results w you LMAO abt to do it all again soon...but i hope you're well and hope good things continue coming to u 🙇‍♀️ @hyunjinz agnes, backbone of stayblr that u are, i love u!! i know we don't Personally speak much at all i still feel like u are a dear friend of mine. you were one of the first ppl to support my skz content and i think you're that for a lot of people on stayblr and i think that is so sweet of u and also important for the community. u are so brave for going through the tags all the time and reblogging everything i do not have that kind of energy but i'm so glad u do!! i miss ur gifs but i'm happy that you're still around even when you don't gif. we're some of the last remaining pre-kingdom era skz ccs left 😱 so i will always appreciate ur company here <3 @innielove hi vi, i just want to say i love that u are giffing skz again. i've probably missed a lot of ur sets bc i'm bad at checking tags and dash but when i DO see them i'm like omg vi's gifs r really looking better than ever. thank u for returning to us 🫶 u have also actually been on stayblr for a long time so i'm always happy to see some of the oldies (can u believe we are oldies now...) back on the dash 😌

@kazuhas MS KALE it always makes me happy to see u on my dash here. ur gifs are so lovely and so are u!! i know we mainly know each other from off cc tumblr 🫣 but i wanted to give u a shoutout among all of my other tumblr beloveds bc ily. it's what u deserve @seo-changbinnies marie...another fellow stayblr hag at this point...u are still one of the funniest people on this site i swear. and i'm so glad u are still here and making gifs and blessing us w your funny tags. i hope u always stay just as insane, i love u for that <3 @seungs HI MIAAA we don't talk that much anymore but i wanted u to know that i still always love seeing u and your gifs on my dash 🫶 @felixies luna, legend of stayblr that u are 🙇‍♀️ i think ur work largely goes unappreciated by the fandom but u are an icon for keeping createskz running for all these years despite everything going on in ur life. tysm for your service 🫡 @huiracha marie huiracha...this is how i refer to u in my head btw. like 'huiracha' is ur last name. LKJSDFKLSKLD we have barely spoken but i want to give u your own shoutout just for surviving and continuing to gif on stayblr as long as u have. veterans' discount fr @hyunsung hi mona 🫶 we haven't spoken in a while either omg but i am still always excited to see u on my dash when u gif something or reblog something from me i'm like omg that's my friend mona :D SDKJFSJKLDF so thank u and i hope you're doing well 🙏 @hyunpic VILMA HYUNPIC...u know i am so glad we are better pals now. u are so funny and fun to talk to but also the sweetest ever!! thank u for always listening to me and being kind to me and also making me laugh. every time i feel like an rper named their hyunjin character something dumb i am glad i get to report it to u. some things only u will understand and appreciate. LKJSDKLJFSKLJFKLFD @sungtaro eri <3 we don't talk much anymore and maybe we NEVER HAVE??? but i have always felt like u are a dear friend and beloved mutual. i love seeing u on dash even if we don't have too many groups in common anymore. ur content is always lovely and so are u so we will always be pals as far as i am concerned 🫶 @exocean hi mo!! i must admit i don't have much to say but i wanted to mention you individually because you are so sweet and i love seeing u around and u deserve to know it <3 @hyumjim i don't even know what to say (positive) u know i am so glad ur squirmy wormy tag on one of my hyunjin sets brought us together. idr if we have ever properly spoken like via dm but bc u follow me on all my accounts i feel Seen by u....nd u haven't unfollowed me yet so god bless u. i always enjoy seeing ur thoughts and the posts u put on my dash whether they be a funny text post or someone's hot take getting dismantled or something Thought Provoking. my dash is definitely a better place because of u so thank uu 🫶

@wolfchans lau the Actual backbone of stayblr tysm for ur service fr. without u providing files for us i genuinely believe most of stayblr would be lost. not only do u do that but u are also genuinely very kind and make great content so i appreciate u so much!! thank u for making stayblr (and my dash) a better place @hyunebear hi adri i gotta admit i didn't even realize u were back on tumblr until i was going through my following and saw that u posted recently akljsdflkjdsf goes to show how much i'm on my dash...but i wanted to mention you individually even though it's been so long because you have genuinely touched my heart a lot and i will never forget ur compliments 🙏 ok maybe i did forget some of them word for word. but i will never forget how sweet u were to me. how about that. so thank you and i hope to see u around more!! i probably have to be on my dash more for that tho huh... @romanceuntold hi jen 🫶 i miss u on stayblr i'm ngl but i'm also still glad to see u on my dash through all your phases. you are such a warm and kind person and another person who i will never forget being so sweet to me. thank you and i hope you're doing well ❣️ @wearehappiness sidrah <3 the fact that we were both on stayblr but met properly on pc ig first is still so silly to me. me intending to wait on ur mail to get to me then being like 'stayblr perk i'll send ur mail rn' after i found out u were here LKJSDLKFLJKSF but you are suuuuch a sweet person who makes lovely gifs too. i miss ur gifs also!! and just you in general. wishing u the best in life always 💗 @mybodyfails hi oli 🫶 another person who has been soooo sweet to me, i'm so glad i got to help w leeknoween and i still have all the freebies u sent me from it preserved safely in my freebie photocard binder 😌 you are always lovely to talk to whenever we do, and thank u for reading my fic too despite zombies not being ur thing i appreciate u!! @strayklds / @facethesuns em i just think it's so funny that we like didn't speak before i invited u to the gif streaming server and i just did that on a whim bc u passed the vibe check and now i feel like we are good friends. despite still rarely speaking KSLDFLSDLKF but i love that for us and love ur gifs and seeing u around always 💞 @neohyune hi fae <3 i know us speaking is like a very recent development but i also wanted to mention u individually to thank u for your help 🙏 i need to write more of my fic tbh...but i Will be checking our conversation again for Notes. you also seem like a very sweet person so i would love to talk to u more in the future also 💕 @linoyes another very recent friendship (yes i am calling it that already) in my life, but thank u for your generosity, let's meet that fundraising goal together 💪 i hope we're also able to talk more outside of this context too. i just have a feeling i will have a lot more to say about u once i make another one of these!!

i'm ngl i don't know how many of you actually follow me here and i don't have time to check everyone's username individually so i'm just going to list a bunch of blogs i follow who may or may not follow me JKLSDFLKSDF but y'all make my dash a better place, thank u for all u do! 🫶 feel free to talk to me anytime too

@dazzlingkai @theseulgis @joytual @anyujin @cchuu @cherry-heartss @boynextdoors @hyunchans @ambivartence @minzbins @everglowz @chogiwow @ttathinker @minhosblr @minho-knows @yang-innie @leegahyun @bu99erfly

[selmasemlan]

Exes

Summary: In a cozy evening setting, Luna playfully prompts Marcel to share about his past relationships, leading to a heartfelt conversation where they both open up about their exes and reflect on the importance of trust and respect in their budding romance. Amidst candlelight and shared vulnerabilities, they deepen their bond and solidify their commitment to each other, finding solace and strength in their mutual honesty and connection.

Pairing: Marcel Gerard x Luna Salvatore (OFC)

Author note: Y´all asked for cute, here is cute

Warning: Marcel and Luna being cutie patootie

Word count: 1005

Series Masterlist

Exes

The soft glow of candles flickered around Marcel's loft, casting warm shadows on the walls as Luna and Marcel lounged comfortably on the plush couch. They had just finished a delicious dinner, and now the conversation meandered into more personal territory.

"So, tell me about your exes," Luna teased playfully, nudging Marcel gently with her elbow. "Any deep, dark secrets I should know?"

Marcel chuckled softly, but his expression turned thoughtful as he considered her question. He took a moment, swirling the last sip of wine in his glass before setting it down on the coffee table. "You know, I've had my share," he began, his tone turning more serious. "But there's one in particular... Rebekah."

Luna shifted slightly, sensing the shift in Marcel's demeanor. "Rebekah Mikaelson?" she asked softly, her curiosity piqued.

"Yeah," Marcel nodded, his gaze fixed on a distant point. "We had a... complicated history. Passionate, intense, but also tumultuous."

Luna leaned in closer, her hand finding his on the couch. "What do you mean?" she prompted gently.

"I loved her, no doubt," Marcel admitted quietly. "But looking back, I realize it wasn't always healthy. We pushed each other's buttons, hurt each other in ways that weren't easy to forgive."

Luna squeezed his hand reassuringly. "It sounds like it was intense," she observed, her voice gentle and understanding.

"Yeah," Marcel nodded again, a weight lifting off his shoulders as he spoke. "But with you, Luna... It's different. I don't want that kind of drama. I want something solid, something built on trust and respect."

Luna smiled softly, her thumb tracing comforting circles on his hand. "I understand," she murmured. "And I appreciate you sharing this with me. It means a lot."

Marcel met her gaze, gratitude shining in his eyes. "I want us to be open with each other, Luna," he continued earnestly. "No secrets, no hidden agendas. Just us, figuring it out together."

Luna nodded thoughtfully, a small smile playing on her lips. "You know, there was this one crush I had back in Beacon Hills," she began, her voice slightly hesitant. "Boyd. He was... sweet. But it was one of those meaningless crushes, you know?"

Marcel raised an eyebrow, curious. "Boyd?" he echoed.

Luna nodded. "Yeah. We were friends, but I always had this silly crush on him," she admitted with a chuckle. "Until one day, he made it clear that being friends with me wasn't enough for him. He wanted something more, something that would boost his social status. That's when the crush died."

Marcel frowned slightly, his protective instincts stirring within him. "He didn't see your worth," he remarked softly, squeezing Luna's hand gently.

Luna shrugged lightly, her expression thoughtful. "It's okay. It taught me that relationships should be about more than just status or appearances," she said sincerely, meeting Marcel's gaze with warmth. "I'm glad we can talk about these things, Marcel. It makes me feel closer to you."

Marcel smiled warmly, a sense of admiration for Luna growing stronger. "I'm glad too, Luna," he replied sincerely. "I want us to build something real, something meaningful."

They sat together in quiet understanding, the warmth of their connection deepening as they shared their vulnerabilities. In that moment, Luna and Marcel found solace in each other's honesty, setting the foundation for a relationship grounded in mutual respect and a shared commitment to growth.

As they lingered in the soft glow of candlelight, Marcel couldn't help but feel a surge of protectiveness towards Luna. He thought about all the challenges they might face together—the dangers of the supernatural world, the complexities of their pasts—and a fierce determination to shield Luna from any harm welled up within him. He wanted to be her protector, her safe harbor in the stormy seas of life.

"Luna," Marcel began, his voice steady and earnest. "I want you to know that I'm here for you. Always. I'll protect you from anything that tries to harm you."

Luna looked at him, touched by his sincerity. "Marcel," she whispered, her eyes shimmering with gratitude. "That means so much to me. I've never had someone who wants to protect me like you do."

Marcel gently brushed a stray lock of hair away from her face, his touch tender. "You're worth protecting, Luna," he murmured, his voice filled with conviction. "You're strong, resilient, but you shouldn't have to face everything alone."

A soft smile curved Luna's lips as she leaned into his touch. "Thank you," she said softly. "I feel safer knowing you're by my side."

Marcel's heart swelled with warmth at her words, reaffirming his commitment to be there for her no matter what. In that intimate moment, amidst the flickering candlelight and the quiet of the loft, Luna and Marcel found reassurance in each other's embrace, their bond deepening with every heartbeat.

Suddenly, Luna's expression turned mischievous, and she raised an eyebrow playfully. "Is it going to be weird, though?" she asked with a teasing grin. "Considering Rebekah is kind of my future sister-in-law, dating my brother Stefan?"

Marcel laughed softly, his eyes twinkling with affection as he looked at Luna. "There's no other girl for me but you, Luna," he replied with a warm smile. "I've never felt this way before. You're my present and my future."

Luna chuckled softly, her heart warming at his words. "Well, in that case," she said playfully, "maybe I should remind you of my number. Just in case you need to protect me from any supernatural drama."

Marcel grinned, his love for her evident in his eyes. "I'll gladly take that responsibility," he replied warmly. "And I promise, having your number is one of my most cherished assets."

They shared a knowing smile, their laughter echoing softly in the loft as they drew closer together. In the gentle glow of candlelight, their bond deepened, weaving a tapestry of promises and affection. It was a moment of new beginnings, where Luna and Marcel embraced the joy of their connection, their hearts intertwining in a love that felt destined and true.

[coastxlwaters]

*cough* hullo i hope this isnt a strange or rude thing to say- but as like. a person from the side of sams who likes to ship things, i very much love and appreciate how kind you are!!! some people who dont like to ship things (which is 1000% okay btw, we all have our preferences) are. very big on harassment (and so are some people who *do* ship things, to be fair), but you are just. a nice person!!! ive seen you advocate to leave shippers alone and to not harass them, and that you should just block people you dont agree w instead of pestering them. and i thank you for that a whole lot, sincerely!!!

okay thats it buh bye

-bird

You just made my day, its not weird! I love to get these kinds of things, and yes im against harassing others for their own preferences. I do not like to make my blog about this stuff, and i do follow many shippers! Their art is super cool, and i just avoid the shipping parts they make. I mean, im not a romantic shipper (other than solruin) but i do have a QPR ship of dark sun/solstice x eclipse. I have lost many, many followers and mutuals from that and i dont want other people to have that feeling of dread or sadness when they watch their follower count go down or be blocked by sm they would once call their friend. It really does hurt even if you understand the reason why.

I do draw the line of shipping when it comes to minor x adult though, so i am not some amazing person who has the ability to forgive everything. I appreciate that i have had several asks like this that have made it seem like that, but i am not that great of a person.

I also think there are some that do not ship that go and harass others that dont ship under the disguise of being sm who does ship so it throws more hatred to the ones who do ship and enjoy that. I think that as i have seen it happen many times IRL and in other fandoms. Its a way to make the other side look bad, it usually works.

Im not saying that shippers do not harass, as i have seen some that do, but i am saying both sides are in the fault here.

Im adding this here:

Do. Not. Hate. The. Show. For. Disliking. Some. Ships.

They are real people who also have boundaries and preferences, we understand that yall ship the characters and not the VAs (i mean, some have done that and you really shouldnt do that) but think of it like this.

You and your sibling/close friend (just sm who you dont feel romantic attraction to) make ocs, you post them online. Then people start shipping them. You would get uncomfortable, right? Since a part of your brain is thinking: “but me and my (non romantic partner) dont like eachother like that, but now yall are making this stuff and making us uncomfortable.“

Ofc i feel as if the VA’s could have handled some things better, but we are all human and make mistakes. Just dont bring them into this. So tag your stuff correctly, do not harass, and enjoy the stuff that you enjoy and ignore the stuff you dont. Thats what you call basic human decency, you can be mad at them all you want in your head as long as you dont say it.

Sorry for the long rant, but i cant reblog stuff like this due to being blocked by people who do say stuff like this so i wanted to get this out and on my blog. And i swear to god do not go annoy or harass the people who do say this stuff and saying “why did u block this person!“ they have their reasons for blocking me and others and we should respect them. I have seen people who do this and i dont like it. So dont go harass another person for blocking sm you may think is nice. For all you know i could be a bitch and asshole irl and they know me irl and thats why they blocked me.

Dont harass or get angry at sm until you can see it from their point of view. Since you dont know what they are seeing that you are not.

(but this ask did make my day! Im literally so happy rn cause i try to practice what i preach but smt i feel like i fail or do the wrong thing that makes me look like a hypocrite!!)

[rontra]

your art is making me go absolutely feral about wondermagic. I never looked at Zatanna comics before (or much comics in general), do you have any recommendations on where to start? I need more of this funky gay stage magician and her huge dork girlfriend in my life.

oh god. I MEAN first of all YES!!!!! WONDERMAGIC W!!!!!!! im so happy to hear it. they make me actually crazy im glad youre enjoying The Art

however SECOND OF ALL i must confess (as i have confessed before!) that i am a fake ass comic book fan. i've barely read Anything for Any character (LOL) i am not at ALL versed in her various appearances/history. so tbh i hope my more knowledgeable followers can drop recs for both me and you if there's anything particularly noteworthy

but i can talk about what i HAVE read bc my journey with her has been very . memorable to me. THIS IS NOT A HELPFUL POST this is just me infodumping--AT LENGTH--about my and zatanna's relationship. but i do talk a little about what ive read. like casual rontra followers can stop reading here its just rambling

anyway my first exposure to ms zatanna was in the first proper dc comic i ever read. which doesnt count because its extremely not about her (this is a tangent) but its notable for making me out loud go "who is this MAGICIAN" which prompted my partner to immediately reply "you mean zatanna zatara". oh you know her. you know the magician. bitch who the hell is--

you gotta appreciate the experience here. its babys first ever comic. i know superman i know batman ive seen them around (from being alive as a human). i have never in my life heard of the stage magician who hangs out with them (in full costume??) and is their friend(?????)

SHES VERY MEMORABLE. WHO THE HELL IS THIS MAGICIAN

anyway that's all a tangent. flash forwards to last month. i was already working on CTDE from the kara^2 angle (bc i majored in n52 power girl w a minor degree in supergirl: woman of tomorrow, of course) but i was like "i should expand this roster". my friends suggest their blorbos ofc and i have a fun time reading wiki pages from multiple storylines/continuities just getting a wide array of impressions from different places. just snooping around the Vibes. and im like. man i should look at that Magician. read some of HER pages

you gotta appreciate knowing nothing at like 3am, to figuring out ctde zatanna's palette at 5:43 am

i can't resist her.

anyway i already knew here that i was going to do something weird with her in the CTDE that wasn't necessarily connected to any of her published material. i was cooking independently. the stove was on before i had ingredients on hand bc i had the IDEA first. but i was like "i should look at some of her stuff first-hand and try and refine the Vibes" yknow. like theres limits to how much of a fake zatanna fan i can be

so we put out a call in the Mutuals Network and someone was like "you Could watch the justice league dark movie from 2017 she's in that". i was like ok 1hr15 animated movie i can handle that EASY

i didn't love the movie. so i'm not going to say anything else about it. however something VERY IMPORTANT TO NOTE:

thats right. wondermagic took hold before i read a single zatanna comic. just as it has for you anon.... we're not so different you and i...

couple days pass. im just relaxing. hanging out. looking at random tumblr blogs that post comic stuff bc im curious. so i stumble on this one post and it has a clean edit of This Fateful Image 👇

this. GODDAMN image

i was like Wonder Woman is HOW TALL? excuse ME? (>he has also never engaged with a single piece of wonder woman content)

SHES SO TALL........??? and Next To Zatanna? (diesel voice) back in my day we called this spitting distance. and we would post it on /u/

im like okay what comic is this from im going there and im going NOW. to view her. like it's that easy folks. just show me wonder woman, Tall, next to another woman. and i'll go read it

nyway this is Justice League Dark from 2018-2020 it's like 30 issues or so and theres a stretch of chapters where diana is a real hunk its unbelievable. then the art changes but it was amazing while it lasted

(and then i immediately stumbled and wondermagic ctde real)

i really enjoyed this comic actually. i have NO idea how its generally regarded by zatanna nation, but i had a fun enough time. absorbed a lot of DC Comics Magic Lore for my AU which is important

at some point it starts doing Weirdly Umineko Coded dialogue totally unprompted so if you've read that it might tickle your funnybone to see comic book characters asking each other "was this a trick or was it magic 😏". made me feel right at home

my main complaint is that SHE'S NOT DRESSED LIKE A FUCKING MAGICIAN IN IT!!!! COME ON!!!!! they chickened out on the full magician garb in this whole era. which is just so sad. the fishnet fingerless gloves are funny though i might steal that. but i think she is so funny when she's wearing the full magician costume. like call me shallow but her commitment to the bit is so important to me

on the upside she interacts with wonder woman A Lot. the rest of the team is fun too. the justice league dark team is just wonder woman severely failing to put together a squad with any star power at all and i think that's adorable. her failgirl era. now she's out here with her also-rans. i like them all im fond of them

diana scruffs zee like a cat??? she's just hanging there like she's ok with it LOL

it technically jumps off of another comic but tbh if you're willing to hit the ground running and just Accept some stuff in medias res and go with it it's pretty easy to pick up if you wanted

("Just Going With It" is a vital survival skill for getting into comics in general because even if a comic isn't part of a longer continuity its always like "omg glup shitto is here!!! for the fans!!!" and you just have to be like Okay someone else will know who that is. ill just go w it. yknow 😭)

anyway i got a lot of DC Magic Lore (Strangely Familiar Edition) and Zee Content AND!!! Wondermagic Content. in this one. so even if i had an inkling about them before, this comic is really what detonated the charge so to speak. they interact so much

and the dynamic created w their relationship to magic and stuff is really interesting. brainwormy for sure. it took me from "who the hell is this magician" to "DO PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT WONDERMAGIC????? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELLO???" in one comic. i have a LOT of thoughts about them like genuinely i think there's meat on the bone conceptually for wondermagic

but i think pretty much any time they appear together in general they're just Like That. whenever theyre both in a comic they have to be gay about it (what the fuck did she mean by this). i was losing my mind when i was catching up on DC/RWBY (ABHORRED. avoid if possible) and zatanna is immediately on her bullshit again. IS THAT HOW YOU GREET HER

anyway to sum up my rambling here's a peek into my league of comic geeks library of Shit Ive Read Since Then (that had zee in it). basically i have no further wisdom for you but for the knowers this is where i'm at (click to enlarge)

it's a totally random selection LOL my strategy is that i look at comics that list her as a cast member and spin an actual roulette wheel in my brain to decide whether i should read it or not. there's very little else going on here. just monkey sees funny magician -> neuron activates

that pretty much catches us up on my zatanna journey. youll notice if you paid attention to the date/time stamps that it took a mere matter of Days to go from "yeah i can watch a movie" to "i think about her kissing women every night before i sleep". it is DIRE in here. im not sure ive ever had such a Severe escalation of worms

i love her. she's my funny girl. anyway. zatanna nation. if you're still reading this. if you're still with me. what is your wisdom. what should me and anon read. please.

this is a matter of international consequences.

[olivers-cocoapuffs]

HELLO MY MOON!!

im here to talk about bitchkiller vs. bartylus and why bitchkiller is a much healthier relationship.

(this isnt bartylus slander btw)

okay one of the main differences in bartylus compared to bitchkiller, is communication.

both barty and regulus are not vocal with how they are feeling, and dont express what makes them upset, causing them to blow up over time due to bottling all of their issues and not speaking of them.

WHERE AS BARTY AND SIRIUS ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. i do agree that sirius has difficultys expressing how hes feeling, but he does express when hes angry and hurt. so it would make the relationship a lot healthier because sirius is capable of showing barty what angers him, saddens him or just generally upsets him.

i also believe that sirius would help barty crack out of his shell and show him how hes feeling, where as regulus doesnt know how to express feelings so he wouldnt know what to do or say even if barty showed him how he was feeling.

another point

i feel like there would always be a barrier between regulus and barty, because they were friends prior relationship. like they would be too scared to show affection towards eachothers because they were worried that if they ever split, so would their friendship??

but with sirius and barty, there would be no barriers because if they ever break up, there would be no friendship to salvage. they would be able to show their appreciation and show eachother proper affection. they wouldnt need to fear the thought of their friendship because of breaking up, because there was no friendship?? they would be able to love eachother without thinking they are loving their friend, do u know what i mean??

sorry that was rlly long (like my diq lmao)

okay i js wanted someone to talk to about this.

HELLO MY STAR

I had to put on my glasses for this

(I’m all for bartylus slander so idm either way)

I think that both ships would have very toxic fights?? Bartylus because regulus is very passive aggressive and I don’t think he’d hesitate to bring up topics he knows will hurt barty. Bitchkiller would have more screaming matches though

I can imagine one of either barty or sirius going to slap the other in an argument (w no actual contact, he realised before that) and just broke down and cried :(

Idk I feel like regulus would be too much of a wuss to confess to barty, and barty is just oblivious when it comes to feelings. He’d be like “but in a bro way??” And Evan would want to stab him in his sleep. There’s also the fact that they could be scared to fight, cause they think that one fight will mean the end of their entire relationship (platonic and romantic) so when they eventually fight, it would be really explosive

sirius & barty also don’t have mutual friends (other than reg but I’m not counting him in a canon setting) so they wouldn’t feel pressured by mutual friends to stay together. There’s none of the “but if we break up, what will happen to our group??” And they’re just in love For Them And No One Else

lot less pressure

I enjoyed it (ofc)

always happy to help

The Americans* are awake so I’m off to have my character slandered 🥰

*my stranger things friends

[findstenicht]

15 questions for 5 mutuals

Rule: You have to answer truthfully and you have to tag 5 mutuals in your post.

I was tagged by @apoloniaspiegelgold, thank you!! <3

1. Are you named after anyone?

nope! although my dad used to claim that i was named after some slavic actress/model/wife-of-Some-Guy whose name i always forget

2. When was the last time you cried? Why?

the weekend before the last, just your average sunday afternoon mental breakdown

3. Do you believe in Soulmates? 

sort of, but also not really? i do believe that there are certain people who are supposed to be in your life at certain times but that doesnt necessarily mean "forever"

4. Do you drink liquor? 

rarely - im not opposed to it, i just dont often do things where there's alcohol involved

5. What do you usually daydream about?

listen. i have a very specific daydream universe that i always come back to but. you know how you sometimes read a story and can pretty much guess what's wrong with the author? describing my daydreams would be like that except you wouldnt have to guess at all, it'd be the most on-the-nose thing you've ever seen. might as well just post a list of everything that ever went wrong in my life and it'd be less embarrassing

6. First thing you notice about other people?

their voice!! (i mean obviously lots of times you see people before you hear them, but i dont really notice anything more specific than a general impression about appearances at first glance, yk?)

7. What's your favorite quote from a TV show/movie/book?

does a poem count? cause the only thing i can think of is "Es gibt keine Schuld. Es gibt nur den Ablauf der Zeit." from tucholsky's poem aus, which i havent stopped thinking about since i read it nine years ago (and for which i still havent found an english translation, sorry!)

8. Some of your pet peeves?

absolutely hate when people overexplain stuff to me that i know, that you could reasonably assume i know, and that i've told you i know. i know a lot of times people mean well (which is why i wont get actively mad at anyone), but if i already told you i know about something, you really dont have to explain it to me like it's brand new information. (looking at all the guys who heard about my field of study and then went on to describe the most basic sociological concepts to me)

9. Where’s the next place on your travel bucket list and why?

ireland!! i have no specific plans but i've wanted to go to ireland ever since i was a kid and saw the photos my parents took on their trip to ireland in the 90s

10. Where were you born? 

in a small town in northern germany :)

11. What are your hobbies?

nothing exciting tbh - video games, talking to friends, going for walks, and writing (<- i say, barely having written anything in months)

12. What's the best joke you've ever heard?

bold of you to assume i can remember jokes

13. What’s your love language? 

words of affirmation all the way - if i love you in any way, you will hear about it. thats both a threat and a promise.

14. Topics you never get tired of to talk about.

dragon age, what i'd vaguely describe as online media literacy, and social movements (especially far right movements, which i know sounds weird, but for some reason the FR became my main academic interest)

15. What would be the title if your life were a movie? 

not sure if it'd actually fit, but a couple years ago i scribbled down the phrase "the grand stupidity of the general state of things" and ive just been waiting to use that as a title for anything ever since; so yeah sure, why not, title for a movie about my life!

also im gonna cheat here and only tag @78669 (only if you want to ofc!!) bc i love my mutuals but never talk to them and i dont want to annoy them :( (obviously everyone feel free to just consider themselves tagged, if you want to do this!)

[qrichas]

vent post. fandom neg, not abt any specific situation, feel free to ignore and scroll past

i get so tired of the overprotection the fandom has regarding characters and actions sometimes it feels too annoying to bear seeing stuff anywhere anymore. i understand when its done with the purpose to avoid miscaracterization from people who dont watch them and try to paint anything they do as the completly opposite or even false stuff at all also ofc its natural to have a bias towards your favorite, you like them and want people to understad them. but its tiring as fuck seeing posts like "how dare x character say something about y like that" when y character did something that bothered x and its normal they react like that, or "the situation between a b c and d is so sad bc no one takes into account a's feelings about this and how much they went thru" when 'a' never communicated properly what they go thru neither b c or d interacts in their pov the moment things happened, being impossible to know what happened without metagaming, or "h never gave any reason to distrust j about this" when they dont need to, even if its a tragic situation, characters will simply choose if they want to trust someone or not.

and the "trust" part is also something that makes me very pissed bc ppl act like any minor misstep someone makes is a "break of [characters] trust" and that they should isolate bc theyre oh so sad and no one cares about them and life is tragedy for them. when the people on the server are literally friends in real life and not always theyre gonna be full time roleplaying so ofc theyre gonna want to spend time with people regardless if their characters have beef with each other. i get you want to engage with the themes that are presented with a character and the story in general and discuss the analysis behing it but not everything is to be taken 100% seriously in need of deep discussions or long threads, sometimes things can change in the blink of an eye if the cc wants to, bc thats their character and their playstyle and they can do whatever they want with it. and i say this as a person with favorite characters, favorite themes i like to engage and discuss abt them, and that wants others to understand their actions and how their trajectory in the story is non-linear. but im also aware i dont need to excuse everything they do to make them seem like they're never wrong in any situation and theyre in fact the one who suffered most and people who are reacting negatively or having their own opinions abt them are, in fact, wrong and never understood the character as a person. not everything is abt your main pov and you have to be aware of this (tho its fine to joke like "they did nothing wrong!!!!" i myself do that, just be self aware). even if i dont like the way a character reacted to something my favorite has done/said (because its normal to be upset abt these things) or i think its unfair, its literally not on me to say what that character does or has to do and only them can choose what to do abt it, because after all this is a medium of semi improv roleplay, its not a fictional world with fleshed out characters with a start and an end. the ccs will say or do things they dont actually mean to say or do in character sometimes, and without counting the language barrier factor. anyway, ppl are free to complain abt stuff thats their blog and their own opinions and they can keep doing whatever. however ill be blocking posts and blogs that annoy me to no end regarding this situation in specific and then enjoying what my mutuals are posting or talking abt. i just wanted to put this vent out here bc thats something ive been bothered with for a long time and i cant vent this properly nowhere else lol.

[brian-ur-bruh]

Scrolling down the blog of a mutual that hasn't been active for quite a while like visiting an old abandoned runned down house of a friend who moved away and you haven't talked to in a lifetime

[chans-bad-girl]

Hi there! I'm very sleepy right now but suddenly this came into my mind : "what is skz reaction when they caught you touching yourself? Maybe they'll asking for mutual masturbation? Or just watching you? Or ended up having sex with you??" Thank you in advance~ guess I can't sleep tonight!!

Hey, hope you're getting your sleep lol

Stray Kids reactions: they catch you touching yourself (+scenarios)

warnings: voyeurism, masturbation (female and male), toys, dumbification, pet names, nipple play, mutual masturbation, mentions of piv, dirty talk, mirror sex, wall sex

chan:

maybe giving your boyfriend a spare key to your apartment wasn't the best idea because now you're sprawled out on your couch, pictures of him on your phone while the bunny vibrator is put on the highest setting. tbh you wouldn't have noticed him standing there with takeout if he didn't grab your hand and take control of the toy. face cold, he whispers into your ear, "tell me when you're horny next time and you won't need my pictures anymore." (which he says while pushing the toy further inside you)

lee know:

minho likes going to bed early. he usually goes to bed at 11, preferably at 10, and sleeps his 8 hours in ignorant bliss of his girlfriend's moans muffled in her pillow. emphasis: usually. because tonight, he feels the shaking and hears the squelching sounds through his lighter-than-usual slumber. "bunny, please touch yourself quieter, I need my sleep." will go back to sleep and then rail you tomorrow while he teases you about it with all the energy he got from his beauty rest.

changbin:

he got you a bullet vibrator for your 1-year-anniversary and boy are you keen to use it. it's been glimmering at you from across your room and now that changbin is sleeping in the other room (and you don't want to wake him because he had a stressful week with almost 0 sleep), you think it's time to use it. when you turn it on, you don't expect it to be this intense. your hole clenches at your clit's sensitivity and your body jolts forward. you don't mean for your moan to be this loud, really, but it rings through the apartment and wakes your boyfriend right up. upon seeing your struggle with the vibrator, he rubs his eyes and says, "my baby is too dumb to touch herself now? oh kitten, do you need master to teach you?"

hyunjin:

oh boy roommate!hyunjin will literally touch himself watching you through the crack of the bathroom door you forgot to lock. dick in hand, he watches as you touch yourself in the bathtub, losing yourself with the shower head on your clit and a hand on your hard nipples. will accidentally be too loud and call your attention. "oh, sorry, uhm..." "couldn't control yourself, huh?" "no..I-" "cut it. i want you. now." this whole endeavor leads to you becoming friends with benefits lol because you're two horny college students who can't afford their own apartments but also have a no-bringing-one-night-stands-home policy. will want to do mutual masturbation because he doesn't wanna get all wet haha

jisung:

he catches you touching yourself in his own home. you were on a trip to meet your family in your home town and your close childhood friend offered you a place to stay. for a week you couldn't touch yourself or even be alone for more than 5 minutes, and when Jisung finally leaves the house for a bit longer than just for groceries, you can finally relax without the fear he might come back soon. so you lie on the couch bed, completely naked because it's 43 degrees and god knows you've waited for this way too long. little did you know that Jisung's plans were cancelled and he drove straight back home to you playing with your clit, two fingers stretching your walls. will watch in awe for a bit before you notice him. "oh, you...that's kind of hot. Mind if I...help?" you don't mind at all. and this is how you ended up with your childhood best friend's head between your legs.

felix:

you blame felix for the suit he's worn and also for the fact that he didn't bother to take it off even when you arrived at his house and started playing video games. Needless to say: you were horny as ever. so you excused yourself to the bathroom to satisfy the ache. because felix had his headphones on and his room was on the other side of the house, you let soft moans slip off your tongue. he sure wouldn't hear, right? WRONG. he got worried after you didn't come back from the toilet for 10 minutes and decided to check on you. and oh was he happy he did that because your moans? music to his ears. "yn, no need to hide, my family won't be back until tomorrow." that's when you open the door and grab his tie for his lips to meet yours. "you stayed in this on purpose, huh? after the wedding you could've taken it off." "I know you like suits."

seungmin:

before he told you he's an idol, you'd never thought of him this way: hot, talented and highly ambitious. but the growing trust in your friendship reveals an aspect of seungmin you wouldn't have expected in your wildest dreams: tongue out, gaze dark, he's hyper-focused on his dance moves, and hell is that making a mess of your panties. at your place, eating celebration pizza after his tour-opening show, you decide to wait until he falls asleep to pound a dildo into yourself in your room. the doors are thin and the couch bed seungmin temporarily sleeps on is only so comfortable. which means that he hears you loud and clear as you whine. you have awakened his curiosity, and before he can stop himself, he walks straight toward your room. what do you look like right now? What are you thinking about? When he walks into your bedroom and accidentally stumbles, you look at him with the biggest eyes and maybe that wasn't the way he imagined the answer to the first question. (good for you that you have the blanket over though haha). "oh, this is very embaressing...in front of my idol friend, wow." "nonono don't get me wrong, I think you put on a nice show. maybe better than mine..." will fuck you in front of a mirror (with your consent ofc) because "look at you, you're performing so well only for me."

jeongin:

after him teasing you all day (being all touchy-feely, being suggestive with his words and wiggling his eyebrows way too much lol) while watching reruns of pretty little liars, he forgets his gym bag at your dorm. now, your touch starved, career oriented college student self is only so resilient. translation: you rub your clit furiously while watching twitter porn. when he arrives at the bus stop, he notices his gym bag is still at your place, and so decides to knock on the first-floor window to your bedroom. when you don't answer (because your earphones blast slapping sounds and moans + you are too far gone to notice anything at this point) he peeks through the slit between your curtains and oh my god are you hot squirming around with your hand between your legs. he's touched himself to the fantasy of you pinned to a wall too many times to count, and now he can finally make it a reality. let's just say he's not shy to ring your door bell at the ass crack of dawn to ask you about what porn gets you off so prettily to then rail you against all walls in your apartment lmao rip your roommate

[georgiapeach30513]

Could you write about Ari & Curtis relationship?? Like how they realized that they love each other? Who was the first one to admit it? What was the relationship like at the beginning? Ofc if you are comfortable with that

I know this took some time to get to. Ari and Curtis were a bit of a slow burn. So there is this drabble from when Curtis was with Kitten. You can see then his desire to be with Ari, but he also wanted a woman, and doubted that he could have it all. Ari is quite similar too. He could have had just Curtis and been so happy though. But let's go back to the earlier more awkward moments, because they are kinda cute. When they met Curtis was more curious if anything. He never labeled himself anything. Ari was extremely secure in his sexuality. He knew he enjoyed both men and women.

🖤🖤🖤🖤

Figured Something Out

Summary:  Ari and Curtis in the early days

Pairings:  Ari Levinson X Curtis Everett

Rating:  mildy explicit

Warnings:  talks about a D/s relationship, 18+ ONLY

Word Count:  900

Desperate Lives AU Masterlist

Ari & Curtis Masterlist

"And this is my buddy, Ari,” Mace tells Curtis, as the large man grabs his hand tightly.  “I figured the two of you might,” he pauses to look between the men, “Might, get along.  Curtis has a similar need,” Ari watches as the younger man clears his throat, and starts to walk away.

“It’s fine.  Mace is an ass, and doesn’t understand when to keep his fucking mouth closed.  What’s your name?” with a knock to his shoulder, Ari pushes his friend away.

“The name is Curtis.  Look, man, I don’t know exactly what Mace was talking about, but I’m fine.  I keep to myself.  I’m not gay.”

“Okay?” Ari asks, looking at the man confused.  “I’m not sure what you’re getting at here,” Curtis looks around, feeling bad for blurting that out.  “It’s fine.  I’m just...I enjoy a bit of control.  Take pride in being safe for my partners,” raising up his eyebrows, he hopes he hasn’t overstepped his boundaries.  “Call me if you have any questions about the life.  I’ve been doing this many years.  My littles mean everything.”

Reaching over he extends a card to Curtis, before leaving him to think.  Stepping back as not to overwhelm the man.  Curtis flips the card over a few times, already missing the warm glow that Ari emitted in his vicinity.

________________________________________________________________

"How’s the new one?” Ari asks his new friend over a beer.  Leaving his hand on the table, because he’s noticed that Curtis likes it there.  Even ‘accidentally’ touching it a few times.  

“She’s...not necessarily my cup of tea.  A bit of a brat, and she uh...well she...”

“Regresses?  It’s okay to use the right wording.  So you want to take care of them, but regression, is a no go?” Curtis nods his head.  “Is it a bad regression?”

“Yeah.  I don’t mind the playing a bit of a part, but she needs it, it’s more than just being cute.  She’s full on regressed.  And...it’s a boundary.  If there was someone that could help with that part,” his eyes finally roll up to meet Ari’s, before he quickly looks at the beer he’s nursing.  “I mean, we’ve talked about sharing.  I’m not gay.”

“No one said you were.  You’re curious?  You want to watch?  You want to share?  What are you wanting?” Curtis shrugs his shoulders, still unable to meet Ari’s eyes.  “You know that’s not how this works.  We have clear boundaries before anything sexual.  What are your yeses, your maybes, your hard nos.  Everyone involved has to know.”

“I feel comfortable with you.”

“Yeah, and you like the way I look,” Curtis snorts, finally looking up at Ari, and nodding his head.  “You want to see how I move, and how I take care of someone?” 

“Yes.”

“Was that so hard?  The feeling is mutual.”

“Have you ever,” Curtis takes a deep gulp, stopping to try and figure out what to say.  “Have you ever been with a man?”

“Yes.”

“Just a man?”

“Yeah.  I enjoy both.  Is that so wrong?”

Curtis takes a moment to scratch the back of his neck, before looking at Ari, “What if, I want both?”

“You gotta be with a man first, honey.  What you’re saying is you want to have sex with both?” Curtis shakes his head no.  “Ah, you want a relationship with both?”

“With you and a woman.”

“You might want to take me on a date first.  I’m not saying no, Curtis.  I’m saying you don’t know what you want.”

“You and a woman is what I want,” Ari licks his lips, before biting at the bottom one.  “I don’t have to have sex with you to know I find you attractive.  I don’t have to have sex with you to know that I enjoy spending time with you.  Would want...”

Ari waits patiently, his eyes moving over Curtis’ face, trying to give him time, “Use your words, Curtis.”

“Do you think that it would be possible?”

“First off, ask yourself if this is just me and you sharing a woman, or is this all three of us sharing a life?  I prefer the latter.  All of us in one relationship.  It doesn’t always have to be all three of us at the same time.  Sometimes it’s just two, alone.  Sometimes it’s two and being watched.  Can you handle that?”

Curtis lets those words absorb in his mind.  Contemplating exactly what it is he wants from Ari, and a woman.  “I want you and a woman.  Not just you, not just her.  Both of you.  I can wait until you’re ready for that, but I’m letting you know now what I want should this be a relationship.  Now, sharing a little that is different, but can you tell me your feelings won’t get involved?  Can you look me and her in the eyes, and if she’s not the one, tell her that you love me more?  Just some thoughts to think about.  I’m going to head home.”

He stands up to walk past Curtis, but he grabs Ari’s arm.  His icy blue eyes drift up to him, nearly pouting, “Would you wait on me?”

“I’d wait until you were ready.  I’m just telling you my boundary.  I want you.  I would be satisfied with just you.  But, if we could find a little or just a submissive that is willing to share a life with us...well, we really can have it all, huh?  Call me when you’ve figured something out.”

Masterlist

[pftones3482]

Exactly 10 years ago, on February 9th 2012, I published my first fanfiction on FFN. I'd been writing stories for years before this, of course, but this was the first time I ever put my writing out there for others to see. The Phineas and Ferb fandom was more than welcoming to my weird (and occasionally dark) ideas, and they really helped me to grow my writing as I went on.

Since that day, I have:

Written for 30 different fandoms

Crossed three different writing platforms (AO3, FFN, and Fictionpress)

Received over 13,000 comments across all three platforms

Graduated highschool AND college (with a degree in creative writing)

My word count across both fanfiction platforms?

1,507,071 words.

This does not count deleted fics, fics that remain unpublished in my drafts, fics posted only on Tumblr, and original works (if it did, I'd have to add roughly 500,000+ more words).

I know not all of you follow me for writing. But those of you who do, those of you especially who have been with me since the beginning? Huge shout-out. You've gotten me through some very tough times, and you've improved my writing more than you could know.

To everyone who's ever read, reviewed, sent me anons, sent me DMs about my works, anyone who's Kudosed or Liked or Reblogged....thank you. And thank you for still doing it even now, years later. Seeing reviews on my old stories makes me smile more than you know.

Extra special shout-out to the following users (those who I've found over the years on Tumblr from FFN; there's many that I have long since lost contact with that I still think of fondly):

@artsyfalafel, who has become one of my best IRL friends, thanks solely to our mutual love of Phineas and Ferb - we literally met in my comments section and I wouldn't be here without her ❤️

@ladylynse, whose own works hold a special place in my life and who's always great for writing advice and a good laugh when necessary

@animationnut, who has quite literally been there since the very beginning, and whose reviews I always looked forward to in my inbox (and whose own stories are also wonderfully written)

@amynchan, another one from the beginning, always enthusiastic no matter the fandom (seriously, you show up in the weirdest places and I love you for it)

There's others who came later, ofc, and I hope they know who they are (you BETTER know who you are), but the four of you have been around since the start, and that means the world to me.

To mark this insane milestone, I will be posting something.....special later in the day 😏 that I guarantee no one (save one person) can guess.

Again, huge thank you y'all. Your comments and critiques helped me improve my skills to the point of literally being able to graduate. I still have much to learn, but it's so cool to be able to look back at where I started and see how far I've come.

Much love 🧡💚

~Bex

[twdsunshine]

Lost In The Act: Pt. 1

Summary:  With an upcoming family gathering weighing heavy on her shoulders, Jess turns to Rick Grimes, her friend and colleague, for support.  She knows the long weekend will be filled with pressure and expectations, piled on by her well-meaning parents who cannot understand why their sweet girl is still single.  When Rick offers to accompany her as her date, she eagerly accepts, but, with long-suppressed feelings simmering beneath the surface and her past lurking around every corner, will she be able to keep up the act?

Pairings: Rick Grimes x OFC

Warnings:  Language

Word Count:  3,844

Check out my bio for a link to my Masterlist!

Author’s Note:  This fic was commissioned by my beautiful birthday twinnie, @greghouse 🖤 and, I’ve gotta say, it was SO much fun to write.  I mean, I feel like I’ve thrown every cheesy trope in the book at this one - mutual pining, friends to lovers, fake relationship, bed-sharing - and it is all the more delicious for it.  And, I got so carried away that, what was gonna be a pretty lengthy one-shot has ended up as a mini-series!  Thank you, Jess, for trusting me with another one of your fabulous ideas.  And thank you all for reading.  Enjoy!

*****

Rick watched through narrowed eyes as Jess paced back and forth across the lobby, her hand fisting in her hair as she spoke on the phone.  It was her personal cell, he noticed, rather than one of the station lines, and he cast an anxious glance towards the sheriff’s office, relieved to see that the door was closed.  Sheriff Ford was a fair man, but he had a strong belief in keeping work and home life separate, and he knew the secretary would be in for a verbal warning if she was caught taking private calls whilst on shift.  Still, it would take someone braver than Rick to interrupt her just then, with her shoulders tensed and a general air of agitation emanating from her, her movements brisk and jerky.  Something or someone, he could tell, was working on her last nerve, and, when she finally hung up the call, letting out a muted growl of frustration, he eased himself to his feet, rounded his desk and cautiously sidled out into the foyer to offer his support.

“Hey, everythin’ okay out here?”

“Fine,” Jess snapped before remembering where she was and who she was talking to, shaking her head to clear away the traces of anger that clouded her thoughts.  “Sorry, just… family, y’know?”  

Rick scoffed, because, boy, did he know, and Jess was well aware of that.  His divorce had finally come through six months ago, after what felt like years of drawn-out negotiations, and he still felt drained from the process.  It had not only created a rift between him and his son, who seemed to blame his father for the break-up, despite it having been Lori’s infidelity that had finally driven them apart, but also strained his relationship with his own parents, who seemed to carry a deep disappointment in him for not sticking around to try to work things out.  To them, it seemed, divorce was a dirty word, and so he’d found himself increasingly isolated as his life fell apart around him, and only Jess’s easy friendship had gotten him through.  “Wanna talk about it?”

“Not right now.”

“Tonight?  We could grab a drink after work?”

She thought on that for a moment before nodding, and Rick left her to take up her post at the front desk once more, returning to the reports he’d been typing up before finding himself distracted by her distress.  

He used to love his job.  A cop was all he’d ever wanted to be, and, when he’d finally earned the position of sheriff’s deputy, he had carried such a sense of pride with him whenever he put on the uniform.  But, lately, perhaps because his partner had turned out to be the man that was sleeping with his wife, he’d lost his passion for the work.  Shane had put in for a transfer once it became obvious that the two of them were no longer capable of working together, but, still, he felt as if the rest of his colleagues looked at him with pity, and Rick hated it.  The truth was, if he was honest with himself, Shane had done him a favour, though he’d never admit it to the asshole’s face.  His relationship with Lori had been slowly deteriorating for a long time, like a house in need of urgent renovation, but without owners who cared enough about its upkeep to put in the work.  Her affair with Shane was really just the wrecking ball that had finally brought the ramshackle construction crashing down, nothing left in its wake but debris and dust that had seemed to take a lifetime to settle.

Jess had been the only one that he found never made him feel patronised or judged throughout the whole ordeal, the only person he could talk to without fearing that they’d either roll their eyes - Oh, man not this again - or snigger behind his back - Yeah, he was putting it to his old lady this whole time and the guy didn’t have a fuckin’ clue!  She’d been through a bad break-up herself, the reason that she’d relocated to King County in the first place, and, though she’d never married the guy, she was still able to empathise with Rick’s struggles, and that had forged a bond, so that he thought she might just be the best friend he had left in the world.  And, if he occasionally found himself considering her in a different way, appreciating the vivid colour of her eyes or wondering whether the sensitive skin of her throat was really as soft as it looked, he forced the thoughts away immediately.  He couldn’t risk overstepping and making her uncomfortable, possibly even driving her away.  Losing her, he’d realised long ago, might just push him over the edge.

As the door to the sheriff’s office swung open and Ford stepped out, casting a glance around the room to ensure that his staff were keeping themselves busy, Rick knuckled down, switching his mind back to the information he was transferring onto the system.  The hands of the clock seemed to be moving in slow motion as the day dragged steadily onwards, and the anxiety he could sense radiating from Jess’s hunched figure as she slumped over her keyboard did nothing to speed things along.

*****

“So, what’ll it be?” Rick asked, slipping his jacket onto the back of a chair in the crowded bar as Jess settled herself at the small table.  “Beer?  Somethin’ stronger?”

“Ugh, I’d kill for something stronger, but I’ve gotta drive.”  Her pout bordered on adorable, despite the genuine anguish behind it, and Rick couldn’t help but smile.

“What if I drop you home?  I can swing by and pick you up in the mornin’, and we can grab your car on the way into work.”

It was obviously a tempting offer as, for the first time since the call that had gotten her into this state, his friend’s eyes lit up.  “Whiskey then, please.  Make it a double!”

The queue to order was long and bustling, with most of the clientele having just knocked off for the day and the establishment being the only half-decent place to grab a drink within a five-mile radius.  As Rick waited, he found himself nodding or raising a hand to greet some familiar faces, something that came from being a cop on the beat in a small town, but he resisted any attempts to be drawn into conversation.  He knew well enough that those kind of chats could easily wind on for hours, and he didn’t want the bother of having to find a way to excuse himself without being rude.  Jess was his main priority tonight, and he was finding it hard to concentrate on anything else.  Perhaps it was just his nature, or the experiences he’d had working the job, but, whenever he saw someone coiled as tightly as the secretary seemed to be right now, he always assumed the worst, and he honestly had no clue what to expect when he made it back to his seat.  Was somebody dying?  Thrown in prison?  Had her house burnt down?  His mind was working on overdrive now that he was counting down to the moment when she might finally open up, and, once he’d paid and was clasping a beer in one hand and a double shot of Jim Beam in the other, he hurried back to her side.

Jess had her head down and was texting, tapping furiously away at her phone as he slid her drink towards her and dropped into his chair.  He waited for her to finish up, casting her phone aside with a surprising level of pent-up aggression, and watched in awe as she picked up her glass and swallowed half the contents in one go.  “Wow.”

“Sorry,” she murmured, coughing to clear the residual burn from her throat and toying with the tumbler, twisting it this way and that so that the amber liquid reflected the light.  “I’m really sorry.  This is all just really dumb and petty, and you’re probably gonna think I’m just making a massive deal out of nothing.”

“Try me.”  Rick held her gaze, trying to ignore the sheen of liquor that clung to her lips, distracting as it might be.  “C’mon, since when do we keep secrets from each other?  You’ve seen me at my worst, Jess, my very worst, and you didn’t judge me.  Let me help, if I can.  At the very least, it might feel good to get it off your chest.”

Jess huffed a sigh, leaning back in her seat and releasing her glass to drum her nails against the tabletop.  “Alright.  You’re right.  I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologisin’.”

“Right, sorry,” she said again, gracing Rick with a small smile when he rolled his eyes.  “So, it’s my dad’s sixtieth birthday next week, and, apparently, my mom’s decided to throw him a party.”

“You don’t like parties?”

“I love parties,” Jess sighed, “just not when it’s gonna mean my entire family under one roof for the best part of three whole days.”

“I thought you were close to your folks.”

“I am.  It’s just… They worry.  They love to worry.  It’s what parents do, I know,” she said, cutting off Rick’s intention to say exactly that, because she knew how much he worried about Carl, especially now that he didn’t have the luxury of seeing him every day.  “But right now they’re pretty much just focused on the fact that I’m still single, and I have been since everything with my ex fell apart, and, for some reason, that’s all they ever want to talk about.  If I show up there alone, that’s gonna be the entire topic of conversation all weekend, I know it.  Oh, Jess, you’re not getting any younger, y’know?  Wouldn’t you like to find a nice man to settle down with?  You’ve been alone for such a long time.  Like, I don’t already know that, right?  I am well aware of exactly how long it’s been!”

Rick couldn’t help but smirk at her exaggerated impression of what he could only guess was her mother’s voice, though he quickly schooled his features into something more sympathetic when her brow creased with a frown.  

“It’s just…  I’m doing okay, y’know?  I’ve got a nice place, savings, a good job that I enjoy, but it’s like none of that means anything if I don’t have a man by my side or a ring on my finger.  And it pisses me off.”

“So, what are you gonna do?” Rick asked, curious.  She’d had several hours to think it through now, and he wondered if she’d come to any conclusions. 

“Well, I thought about just not going,” she confessed.  “Was gonna tell them I couldn’t get the time off work or that I’d been asked to put in some overtime or something.  It’s not like they know my shift pattern.”  Rick arched his brow in acknowledgement as she reached for her discarded phone and cast an eye over the screen.  “But then I got a message from my dad telling me how much he’s looking forward to seeing me, and I can’t let him down like that.  I just can’t.”

“When was the last time you saw him?”

“Maybe four or five months ago.  I don’t go back to visit as much as I probably should.”

Rick nodded slowly, processing the information, a suggestion lingering on the tip of his tongue.  It seemed almost too easy though, and he paused to take a swig of his beer, giving himself a moment longer to think it through before deciding, with a shrug, that he might as well spit it out.  “You could take me along.”

Jess nearly choked on the dregs of whiskey she’d just tipped into her mouth.  “Wh-what?”

“As your date.”  Rick shrugged again, wondering if the blush that he could feel spreading up his neck was obvious to the woman sitting across from him.  “I’m a catch, I’ll have you know: good job; got my own place; full head of hair; make cute kids.  Any parents would be glad to have me as a potential son-in-law.”

“I don’t know.”  It wasn’t a flat-out rejection, at least, and Rick could see her mind working, taking in the offer and trying to figure out if it was worth a shot.  “I mean, I’ve mentioned you to them, sure, but never as more than a friend.  Besides, why would you even want to put yourself through that?  These people… They’re like hyenas, Rick.  One scent of fresh meat and they’ll be all over you.  It’ll be an interrogation, all weekend long.  I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t ask,” Rick pointed out.  “I offered.  Besides, I’m a cop.  If I can’t stand up under interrogation then I really have no business doin’ the job, right?”

“My mom would make Ford cry like a baby.”

“Ford’s not as tough as he looks.”  He watched as Jess gnawed on her bottom lip for a moment, lost in thought, and he wondered if she was trying to picture it: the two of them showing up as a couple.  It was definitely what he was doing in his head, and it was alarmingly easy to imagine showing up to a party with her on his arm.  “C’mon, Jess, let me do this for you.  I owe you so much for the way you put up with me through everythin’ with Lori.  This can make us even.”

Her eyes locked on his and lingered there for a moment, apparently searching for any trace of doubt in his gaze.  Then, finding none, she gave a short, sharp nod.  “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.  If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.  You never know, it might even be fun.”

*****

They spent the next couple of hours coming up with a story that would be believable enough that it would convince Jess’s family that the relationship wasn’t simply a farce.  In the end, they determined it would be best to keep it simple and as near to the truth as they could get: they’d met through work, grown close when Jess was supporting Rick through a messy divorce, and then started to date once the papers had come through.  That would mean they’d been together for around six months by now, of course, but Jess thought she could get away with explaining to her mom that she’d kept it quiet because of the risk that came from getting involved with a coworker.  It made some kind of sense, so Rick was more than happy to go along with that.  Listening to his increasingly inebriated friend plot out the course of their love story made something in his chest clench painfully, and he found himself leaning closer, drawn in by her tales, wishing that things really had worked out that way.  Internally, he was cursing himself already, wondering how he was supposed to get through a weekend of pretending, when just imagining what could have been was driving him crazy, but he’d made his commitment now, and there was no way he was going to let her down.  It would be worth it to see her happy.

When she was no longer quite coherent, her words slurred and her eyes a little too unfocused for Rick’s liking, he coaxed her out of her seat, letting her lean heavily on him as he guided her out of the bar.  His truck was parked in the far corner of the lot, and she wobbled alarmingly as she tried to climb into the passenger seat, almost toppling backwards before Rick planted his hands on her waist and helped her in.  She was warm and supple beneath his fingers, and he knew he held on for a beat too long, forcing himself away and letting the door fall closed.  It was just as precarious helping her down from the cab when they reached her block, and, when she fell against his chest, he decided it would be easier just to slip one arm around her back and another beneath her knees and carry her home.  She wriggled in his grasp, giggling like she was far younger than her years before relaxing against him, letting her head fall against his shoulder as he traversed the path that led up to her porch.

“You’re kinda great, y’know that?”  Rick grinned at her drunken declaration, taking her keys from her fumbling grip so he could unlock her door and push her gently over the threshold.  “Best fake boyfriend ever!”

“Make sure you drink plenty of water before you turn in,” he instructed her, trying his best to ignore her close proximity and the adoration in her gaze, “and eat somethin’.  But maybe don’t cook.  Don’t want you burnin’ the house down now.”

His words largely seemed to fall on deaf ears, though, as she plastered herself against him, arms coiling around his neck to draw him down to her level, allowing her to brush sloppy kisses over his cheeks.  He was used to the affectionate side that came out in her when she’d been drinking, but tonight she was especially effusive, spurred on by her gratitude.  “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

The scent of whiskey was heavy on her breath, and he wanted nothing more than to taste it on her tongue and drink her in.  Instead, he pulled away.  “Alright, save it for the weekend, Jess.”

What the hell had he let himself in for?

*****

Jess woke with a pounding headache, her mouth dry, still clad in the blouse and skirt she’d worn for work the day before.  For a brief moment, she just lay there, sprawled across her bed, trying to put together what had happened the previous evening, and then it all came flooding back, and she let out a loud groan.  She’d agreed that Rick could accompany her to her parents’ house, to her father’s sixtieth birthday party no less, as her boyfriend, no doubt opening the both of them up to a deluge of uncomfortable questions, and, to pull it off, there would have to be kissing and touching and, in the harsh light of day, she was almost certain that it would be more than she could take.  What on earth had she been thinking?

It wasn’t that she was in love with the deputy, it really wasn’t.  She’d told herself that she wouldn’t let those sort of emotions in again after her last trainwreck of a relationship had sent her fleeing from her hometown and turning her whole life upside down to escape the fallout.  It was just that Rick was such an easy man to fall for.  It was his gentle manner, his easy smile and the mischievous sparkle of those blue eyes that never failed to bring a flush of heat to her cheeks.  And it was his sensitivity, the way he spoke about the breakdown of his marriage, never voicing any sort of malice towards his ex-wife, no matter how vicious the divorce became.  She knew it had hurt him, that Lori’s betrayal was made all the worse because it was his partner that she’d chosen to cheat with, but still he bit his tongue, never speaking of her with anything but respect and, perhaps, a hint of weariness, as if he was just completely drained by it all.  It said something about the man, she thought, that he could take those sorts of hits and still resist the urge to let things turn nasty.  So, really, who could judge her for occasionally letting her mind wander and wondering if there might be the possibility of something more between them?  Who wouldn’t want to succumb to that old-fashioned southern charm that seemed to drip from Rick’s tongue like nectar?  It would take a stronger woman than she could claim to be.

At the sound of a knock on the door, Jess resisted the urge to bury her face in her pillow and simply will the world away for another few hours, instead crawling from her pit and stumbling down the hall on shaky legs, tugging it open to find Rick, lounging against the porch railings, not even attempting to mask his amusement as his gaze combed over her dishevelled state.  Jess only grunted in greeting, already turning away.

“Well, good mornin’ to you too, sunshine.”  He sounded far too chipper, but then she supposed he would, having limited himself to just a beer or two so that he’d been able to drive them both home.  “You’re runnin’ late.”

“I know.”

“You look like hell.”

“I know that too.”  Heading for the kitchen, she snagged a box of cereal from the counter, digging into it to scoop up a handful and eating it dry, washing it down with a large glass of water.  It churned in her gut, and she thought for one horrifying moment that she might be sick, but she pulled it together, trying to ignore Rick’s chuckle.  “Give me ten minutes.  I’ve just gotta shower.”

The reflection that greeted her in the bathroom mirror once she’d left Rick to make his own coffee was even worse than she’d realised.  Her dark hair was a wild tangle on her head, as if she’d tossed and turned the whole night through, and the traces of yesterday’s make-up were smeared around her eyes, dark streaks contrasting harshly with the sickly pallor of her skin.  Her clothes were creased and rucked up around her hips and bust, and she honestly looked like the walking dead, she thought.  She tried to swallow her embarrassment, not allowing herself to think too long on the way Rick’s own dark curls were slicked neatly back from his clean-shaven face, his uniform perfectly pressed and clinging to the finely-muscled physique beneath.  He was always so infuriatingly well put-together, which had an annoying tendency to highlight just how much of a mess she could be.  Still, it hadn’t deterred him from extending the offer to pose as her lover in front of her family, so she supposed he must not judge her too harshly.

Fifteen minutes later, showered and dressed in clean clothes, Jess was climbing back into the passenger seat of Rick’s truck, reciting, at his insistence, the story they’d concocted about how they’d got together.  They had the best part of a week to get the information down pat, but, she supposed, he was probably worried that it had all been lost in the blur of whiskey indulgence.  In fact, she remembered it almost too easily, as if she’d laid awake on countless nights wishing that things had actually worked out that way before reminding herself that any relationship was really more risk than she wanted to open herself up to, let alone one with a coworker.  Still, Rick shot her a proud look when she’d poured out every detail, nodding slowly as he rolled away from the kerb and started down the street.

“I think we might just pull this off.”

Jess sighed.  “I really hope so.

*****

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