#i might put it on my ff.net too who knows

[jacks-the-flower]

darling i just can't get you out of my head, your scent lingers in my old jumper

~~~~~~

It was so elusive, so mind-boggling. It put her brain on the edge of an idea and her tongue ready to burst out with the answer.

Hang on, was that her old perfume?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a peculiar thing, something so familiar yet so unanticipated. She caught it at the edge of her own perception, sweetly reaching her senses with a dubious flair. It was something she knew well, something that she knew a little too well. What was it? It was right there for her to grasp, but the concept was elusive. Perhaps there was too much going on around her.

She stood before him, simultaneously at home and exposed. What would he think of her now? Did he remember her? Did he still believe in the end of that sentence? Why did he change? Was he alone? What was that smell?

Now she understood it, the floral scent of her past. Her past with him. But why was she discerning it now? Was it the reminder of everything, of what she’d had with him, what they had been? Unless…

She approached him slowly, artfully prowling towards him, making herself known yet advancing calmly and disarmingly. There was no need for her curiosity to scare him off. 

She stopped a few feet away from him, drawn in by her own scent. It wasn’t her scent anymore, however, it was his. It mingled with his own various aromas; the wool coat, the leather polish on his hands and shoes, the grease from the TARDIS, what must be numerous hair gel products he’d used. His scent was quite unique, yes, but under all of that: her. 

“Are you going to say anything?”

Her golden brown eyes flickered to his own green-tinged ones. She’d never thought that any other pairs of eyes would be as entrancing, or scents for that matter. Somehow this version was the most intoxicating, boyish but ancient and venerable, something new in ways that she hadn’t experienced from him. When she looked into his eyes, she saw an openness that hadn’t been there. He was somehow, simultaneously, more guarded than she’d ever seen him, and yet more open to her.

“Am I- is it… good different? Bad different?”

His eyes grew worried and lines started to appear in assent with his fears, she supposed it was now time to say something, “You’ve been using my soaps.”

He gave a light chuckle at that, bowing his head a little in confirmation, “Yes well, I had to, well I- I had to…” he stammered uncertainly, “keep you with me somehow.” He looked back up at her, “I hope you don’t mind, I’ve been, well…” he paused before blurting out, “I’ve been using your room.”

She raised her brows, he what?

“Well some nights, I’m in the hammock; lovely things hammocks, quite comfortable.” 

Ah, a familiar habit. He did so love a good babble, in both of the bodies she knew. Though her first one seemed to prefer it from her while she was cross with someone. He’d had beautiful blue eyes then, though his new green ones were just as gorgeous. He smelt of leather polish in that face too. 

She slowly pulled her hand up, sweeping along the hem of his coat on its way.

“I erm, I can move back out if you’d like,” she kept moving ever so slowly, brushing over his hearts, enjoying his impatient jitters, “who am I kidding of course you’d like me to move out of your very own, very personal room. That’s,” he gasped out as she pressed her hand against his cheek, drawing circles behind his ear, taking in the details of his new face, “that’s just common sense. In fact, it was wrong of me to take up residence in the first place, what was I even thinking? Stupid Doctor, never thinking about what you want.”

And with that, she was thrust back into uncomfortable memories; moments where they were so close, but separated by a wall of fear and uncertainty. Now isn’t that a funny comparison.

Her hand had stilled and she brought it down to caress his chin, “If I’m allowed back, I can’t do that again, Doctor.”

He stepped impossibly closer to her, knocking her hand down to his chest where she could feel his hammering double-heart rate, and reached up to cup both sides of her face with his hands, staring intensely into her eyes, “It was never, ever an if, Rose Tyler. It was always a matter of when.”

She peered into his eyes, searching for the deceit, the lie to placate her. She found nothing but determination and adoration. He looked amazed, presumably at her, his eyes drifting over her features; she’d almost call it reverent. Did he still have that much faith in her? After all of this time?

“How long has it been, Doctor?” she questioned softly, lips moving faster than her mind. 

His eyes dimmed, skirting from her face, and he withdrew his hands from her cheeks. She missed them.

He retreated in on himself slightly, stepping back and slouching down, bringing his arms in close, wringing his hands. He wouldn't meet her eyes. She missed them too.

“It’s difficult to place exactly, but my guess is around three-hundred, three-hundred ‘n fifty, years.” It was a painful thing to imagine, but not a surprising one. He was older.

Then again so was she.

She couldn't help her regret in not finding him sooner. Centuries had passed and they had to move forward. It changed them. “I’m so sorry, Doctor; I’m so late,” she told him mournfully.

He smiled bitterly at that, still looking to the side, “Something tells me I’m late too,” he said, green eyes finally looking at hers once again. She understood immediately; there was always something of the wolf about her. Though wolves don’t tend to live as long.

He faced her fully again, gazing at her with a great jumble of emotions, “I suppose we’re a bit more evenly matched now, not that we weren’t before but…” At that, his eyes grew more pained and guilt-ridden, conveying what she thought was an apology. Those eyes were always quite expressive weren’t they.

She approached him once more, this time she snaked both of her hands around his neck, his own moving to rest on her hips. She fixed her eyes directly on to his, trying to convey as much love and determination as she could, “You’ve got my forever, Doctor, do I have yours?”

He drew her in closer, resting their foreheads together, “I think you’ve always had my forever, Rose,” he took a deep breath in, “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

She took her own breath in, cataloging his new scent of antiquities and floral soap. She closed her eyes and leaned into him, before confessing, “I love you.”

She knew what would happen next, he never gets to finish his sentence. She was fine with that, content even, only knowing that he felt so much for her. It didn’t have to be said.

“I love you too, Rose Tyler.”

She snapped her eyes open, flitting over his face – nose, hair, ears, cheeks, eyebrows - before settling on his eyes; his ever expressive, blue-then-brown-now-green eyes. He was fixed on to her, transfixed on her face, her own eyes. Amazed, relieved, and genuine all at once. It was not the platitude that she might have expected, it was a truth in the way he looked at her, held her in his arms, caressed her features. In the way that he used her old soaps and slept in her room, three-hundred something years after she was gone. 

“Yeah?” She felt a weight lift from her chest, something she’d never known about. She felt herself brighten and she smiled at him, giddy with the new revelation. She always knew he loved her, but now she believed it.

“Yeah,” He followed suit, lips growing wider and wider, toothier and toothier. It was a marvelous sight for a face so marred by regret and guilt to be so openly happy, so openly in love. She found that it was intoxicating. She found him intoxicating.

Every bit of him - clothes, cadence, scent, hair, freckles - was fascinating and new, but intensely familiar in ways she wasn’t sure he'd readily admit. She found herself loving him all over again.

She always fell right back in love, even when he changed faces and preferences. She just grew to cherish each and every new characteristic and quirk. Like the eyes that were staring at her. Like the lips curved into a small, fond smile.

She slowly raked her eyes up from his lips, leisurely gliding over his features. His eyes were heavy-lidded, no doubt from watching her sultry show. She saw the same feelings that she had reflected within herself; attraction, fondness, intoxication, and love. 

He leaned his head down and she tilted hers up, moving in a familiarity they shared in their old lives. When their lips met, she realized that this was in fact so wonderfully new. They were not so young back then to not have shared a kiss between them, but this one was different. Different in the way they held a tenderness between them instead of stunted longing. Different in the way they embraced each other with care and affection. Different in the way they could taste the devotion and determination they’d been too fearful to commit to. 

His tongue flicked out along her bottom lip and she opened up to him fully, one hand threading through his hair. His left hand slowly traveled up from her hip to the small of her back, nails grazing her skin. The physical and mental effect it had on her caused her to gently pull back for air; the bridges of their noses resting together, their hands in wandered places. 

She had taken a few moments of stillness before realizing how mentally connected they had become. A soft presence was intermingled with her mind, sharing in her love and admiration as they became closer than they previously dared. 

She opened her eyes and found him, his own eyes already wide and fixed on hers. She smiled softly and sent a warm wave of emotions to him, focussing on reassurance and determination as well as tenderness and adoration.

He breathed out a short puff, breaking out into another disbelieving smile. He brought the hand from her hip up to her cheek and kissed her again, this time with excitement and enthusiasm. His tongue dipped into her mouth again, energetically brushing over the back of her teeth and soft palate. A small laugh bubbled up from her chest and he pulled back, sharing in her euphoria.

He settled back down, loosening his hold to a comfortable embrace. “Am I dreaming?” he breathed out.

She hummed at him, “That depends, what would your dream say?”

“No.” he said, shaking his head slightly.

She smirked thoughtfully, tilting her head to mock-think, “Then yes,” she decided, giving him a tongue-touched smile that she knew made his mind misfire. And misfire it did, if the stumbling rush of consciousness brushing against her was anything to go by.

He rocked forward excitedly, before pausing, eyes alight with mirth, “Well hang on now, is that a yes to me dreaming or a yes in contrast to what my dream would say?”

She just smiled wider, “Can I stick around and find out?”

“Darling, you,” he kissed both of her cheeks, before looking right at her, genuinely, “can move in with me.”

She felt giddy at that, sharing it across their connection, but outwardly maintaining her playful demeanor, “Weeeell,” she drawled out, “your home is pretty big, infinite, you could say.”

He chuckled, holding her tight, “That she is.”

He slowed for a moment, taking a deep breath, before looking at her in earnest, “Be there when I wake up?” he asked hopefully.

She reached up a hand to brush his hair, giving him a fond smile and a caress of conviction and certainty. 

“Forever.”

[hollyethecurious]

CS AU: Pan Says... (9/?)

Summary: After waking up in a strange room with a naked stranger, Emma and Killian must endure the twisted game their kidnapper insists they play in order to gain provisions and avoid punishments.

A/N: Check it out, y'all! Another update from me! Lots of love to @ultraluckycatnd and @kmomof4 for their exceptional beta skills! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I did writing it!

Rated E / Also available on ao3 and ff.net / buy me a coffee / add to tag list / Curious? Come Ask Me!  

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six  / Part Seven / Part Eight

Chapter Warnings: exhibitionism / voyeurism. role play.

Part Nine

“I don’t know who you are, or what sort of game you’re playing at, but this isn’t funny!”

Emma glanced at the monitor overhead, the timer quickly counting down the minutes she had left to try and convince David that she was really Emma, that she was alive, and in need of his help.

“David Robert Nolan, shut the fuck up and listen to me!” she yelled over the receiver.

“What did you just call me?”

“I called you by your full government name,” she said. “David Robert, after your father, Nolan. Or would you prefer I call you Charming like Mary Margaret does?”

“How do you know--”

“Because it’s me, David! It’s Emma! I’m alive and I need your help!”

“Emma?” he questioned over the line, the hope she knew he wasn’t sure he should dare to feel leaking into his tone. “Is it really you? How? Where are you? Where have you been? Who did they pull out of the--”

“Just listen, okay?” she interrupted as the time rapidly dwindled. “I don’t know who that woman was or how he faked my death, but I was abducted three weeks ago by someone who calls himself Pan. I was taken from outside the police station after dropping off a skip. I was tasered. I’m here with a man named Captain Killian Jones. He has a brother named Liam, who also was led to believe that Killian was missing for reasons other than kidnapping. I need you to find him. He’ll be trying to get a hold of you, because Killian just called him, too, and let him know what’s been going on.”

She flicked her gaze to Killian, still looking shell-shocked from the emotionally charged conversation he’d had with his brother. He’d wanted to stay by her side whilst she made her call, but she’d told him to go sit and take a moment. They’d be there for one another later. It was why they’d chosen to wait and make these calls before turning in for the night. So they could just lay in bed and hold each other in the aftermath.

“What has been going on?” David demanded, bringing Emma’s focus back to her brother. “Why would this Pan person take you? What has he… are you alright? Has he hurt you? Did you escape, is that why you’re calling now? Do I need to come get--”

“No, we haven’t escaped. We… we sort of… earned a reward. Look. It’s too much to explain right now. I’m going to give you some specs of the place we’re being held in. Write them down so you can give them to the police.”

Emma waited as David searched for a pen and paper, her heart thudding wildly in her chest as the timer continued to draw closer to zero.

“Okay. Go.”

Emma rattled off the information Killian had put together for them; the estimated size of the facility, features he’d been able to make out that might make the building distinguishable, and details about the different rooms (though she hadn’t told Killian about the medical suite she’d been in, and hated that she couldn’t tell him or David about the doctor, for fear of Pan’s threat against Killian’s pound of flesh) that might aid in their search. She also mentioned that there were others here, so perhaps they could find a link between their missing person cases and others with similar details.

“Got it,” David said. “What… what else can I do?”

“Nothing,” she said, her throat tightening and tears welling in her eyes. The carefully constructed fortifications she’d put in place in order to get through the call were crumbling fast, but she couldn’t fall to pieces just yet. “Just… Just know that I’m alive and that Killian and I need you to get the police looking for us again. And…”

“And?”

10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5…

“And that I love you! I love you both!”

0… dial tone.

The receiver slipped from her hand and clattered against the concrete floor. She was pretty sure Killian returned it to the base before sweeping her up into his arms and carrying her to the bed. Laying her down gently, he crawled onto the bed beside her and gathered her in his arms. With the last of her strength, Emma pressed closer to him, molding their chests together and tucking her head beneath his chin. Long, quiet minutes stretched out with only their unified heartbeats filling the void, neither of them capable of saying much of anything until Killian broke the silence.

“He sounded destroyed,” he murmured, his tone flat and watery from the tears he’d shed after hanging up with his brother, and again as he’d held Emma while she spent hers into the front of his shirt. “Your brother sounded as though he’d been given a noble quest, while mine…”

“You told him not to beat himself up over it,” she reminded him. “To not dwell on the fact that he’d believed the lie Pan sent him from your email address.”

“Aye,” he sighed.

She knew he was running the conversation over in his mind. The way Liam had sounded ecstatic to hear from him, asking about his travels and when he thought he might return home. The way the line had gone silent after Killian had revealed the truth. The way his brother had sounded broken and utterly ashamed that he’d fallen for the trick, too eager to believe things had turned a corner for his brother, blinding him from seeing the cracks in the story that might have caused him to be suspicious enough to follow up.

Killian had spent most of the call comforting his brother and apologizing for the things he’d said when last they spoke, breaking open old wounds they had not the time to properly dress so they might begin to heal. Their time had gone so fast. He’d barely been able to convey the necessary details to him so that further action could be taken beyond the call before time ran out. She wasn’t even sure Liam had heard Killian tell him he loved him before the line had gone dead.

While her call to David had played out almost exactly as she thought it would, she knew Killian’s had not gone the way he’d wanted it to.

“At least they know now,” she said. “The truth is out there, and they’ll be looking for us again. That’s something at least.”

“Aye,” he agreed, though a bit hollowly. “That’s better than the alternative.”

“Hey,” she said, pulling back and lifting her gaze. When he didn’t meet hers right away she reached up and scratched her fingers through the stubble at his jawline. A huff left his chest and his eyes fell to hers.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to really clear the air with him. I know there were things you had to leave unsaid in order to get our message out, but…” She swallowed hard, willing back the fresh sob working its way up her throat. “Please don’t give up hope.” His eyes softened at the sound of her words catching and he buried his hand in the back of her hair. “I need you to help me stay optimistic here. I need you to tell me that we’ll still be able to tell them everything we didn’t get a chance to say to them today, because they’ll find us and we can say those words to their faces. Okay?”

“Emma, I…”

She could see his heart breaking in his expression and she chastised herself for guilt-tripping him, but… she meant what she said. She needed him to be strong with her right now.

“I’m sorry, love,” he said, holding her close to his chest once more. “Of course we’ll get that chance. We’ll have an entire lifetime to say all the things that need to be said. They’ll find us. Of that I’m certain. They’ll never stop fighting for us. And neither will I.”

“Good.”

~/~

Emma twisted and turned her torso in an attempt to find comfort, something that seemed to be an impossibility in the damned corset Pan had provided.

A corset that accompanied the wench costume she was expected to wear for tonight’s festivities. Festivities that made her stomach roll, or would have if the blasted corset hadn’t been cinched so tightly.

After a fitful night’s sleep and late morning meal, she and Killian had been escorted to different areas so they could prepare themselves as the evening’s entertainment. Per usual, her anxiety spiked when it became clear they were to be separated, and the spa-like environment where she would spend the day being pampered and prepped did little to calm her nerves.

The host of ladies who assisted in the waxing, facial, manicure, pedicure, massage, hair, and make-up services wore masks to obscure their identities and spoke in a language Emma could not identify. Although she attempted to question them individually, they either did not understand her, or had been instructed to pretend as such. The latter seemed more plausible given the furtive glances the ladies occasionally made towards the Lost One standing guard.

After a light meal, Emma was dressed in the wench costume; a more upscale version of the cheap, slutty knock-off one might find at a Halloween store. The women were dismissed and she’d been instructed to follow the Lost One, her trepidations spiking again as she padded down the corridor behind him. There were many twists and turns before they finally rounded a corner, revealing Killian standing in front of a set of double doors. Emma’s heart leapt at the sight of him and relief flooded her body.

Well, first relief, then… something else.

He was decked out in head to toe leather, his jawline manicured with an alluring amount of scruff and his eyes lined in a deep, rich kohl. His hair had been artfully tousled and his skin bronzed. Beneath the layers of black leather, he wore a smoke-like linen shirt, unbuttoned down to the v of his waistcoat, exposing a tantalizing amount of chest hair. The leather trousers were tight, but not so much as to appear painted on, leaving just a hint to the imagination of what lay beneath their laces.

“Swan?” he said, in an amused and sinfully deep tone. “See something you like, love?”

Now aware that her mouth had been hanging open, Emma closed it and swallowed hard before answering, “You look…”

“I know,” he quipped with a cheeky smirk and smugly lifted brow, earning him an eye roll before his gaze raked over her once more. “You cut quite the figure in that get up, I must say.”

“Cutting is right,” Emma groused, struggling against the tight confines of her outfit. “I can only imagine the impression this corset is leaving on my spleen.”

“Your discomfort is a cross I am more than willing to bear… especially after my earlier one.”

Emma raised her brows in response to his cryptic words and put-out tone.

Scratching behind his ear, the tip of which was becoming quite red, he confessed under his breath in a low mumble, “I’ve been manscaped.”

Her eyes widened, and although she knew better from her earlier perusal, they fell to his chest, ensuring herself that the thick blanket of hair remained untouched.

“Not there,” he said, exasperatedly. “Lower.”

Emma tucked her lips between her teeth to try and stifle her laugh. His disgruntled tone and expression were absolutely priceless, despite the circumstances.

“Well,” she said, placing her hand on his arm in commiseration. “That makes two of us.”

They shared a moment of joint amusement, until the sound of the doors opening pulled them back into reality, sobering their demeanors.

A Lost One waved them forward. This one, like the one who had stood guard over her throughout the day, was not either of the men who had been assigned to them previously. The ones who seemed to be connected to her and Killian, respectively, in some way.

With shoulders back and heads held high, they entered the theatre, hand-in-hand. The Lost One directed them to the platform and they were both caught off guard at the emptiness of the room.

“My guests will arrive in due course,” Pan’s voice echoed. “First, a few pre-performance instructions. Pan says…”

He started by pointing out the furnishings upon the platform: a leather chair, an antique writing desk, a chaise with several cushions, and a small side table with various toys, lubricants, restraints, and other items atop it, including a pair of domino masks and earbuds.

“Go ahead,” he insisted, “Pan says, each of you take a mask and an earbud. The mask will help obscure your identities and the earbud is how you’ll hear conversations and suggestions made by my guests.” After affixing their masks, they placed a bud in their ear. Pan’s voice was now, eerily, inside their heads. “You will only act on the suggestions that are accompanied by a green light that will illuminate along the back of the upper tier.”

Green light splashed against the back walls as an example before Pan continued. “Pan says you shall not speak unless instructed otherwise, and should only do so in character. I expect you to comply with the approved requests and show my guests a good time. Understood?”

“Aye,” Killian managed to utter. All Emma could do was nod, too choked with impending dread to speak.

“Good,” Pan crowed in their ear. “Pan says, get into character and have a good show.”

Before the doors could open, Killian swung Emma around to face him and pressed their foreheads together. “You and me,” he whispered, so low she barely heard him. “Just you and me, love.”

Emma closed her eyes and nodded, her forehead rubbing against his as she inhaled deeply. Opening her eyes, she connected her gaze with his, both of them silently giving the other permission to get into character and play out the charade: him, a fearsome pirate captain and her, his defiant wench captive.

Their audience finally filed in, initially paying them little attention, while greeting one another as they took their seats behind their screens. Emma took a seat of her own in the leather chair at the center of the platform as Killian casually leaned against the front of the desk with his arms and ankles crossed. It wasn’t until the stage began to spin, allowing all of the guests an opportunity to see the show from every vantage point, that the audience really took notice of them.

It was unnerving to hear their actual voices, and the comments being made as they assessed tonight’s entertainment. Emma kept her eyes squarely focused on Killian’s, attempting to block it all out, and had therefore almost missed the way his bejeweled finger was drumming against his arm, tapping out a rhythm against the leather.

You and me. You and me. You and me.

A greeting of welcome sounded out from the speakers and Pan took a moment to remind his guests to don their own earbuds and microphones, as well as set the stage for that evening’s entertainment.

As soon as the greenlight - literally - was given, a cacophony of voices flooded Emma’s ear as each of the guests threw out suggestions. Her stomach turned and tremors of dread rippled down her spine at the thought of what they would make her and Killian do, of the intimacies they’d witness, of the images they’d take away with them.

Reaching up, Emma adjusted her mask, assuring it was firmly in place. Closing her eyes, she tried to drown out the voices so she could collect herself. She wasn’t Emma Swan right now. She was a wench. A wench being held by a fearsome pirate captain. They weren’t seeing Emma. They wouldn’t be able to take anything from Emma Swan. All they would get from her tonight was a wench. A character. A fantasy. Nothing more.

The sharp tip of cold metal digging into the underside of her chin jolted her back to the here and now. Her eyes snapped open and Killian - no. Not Killian. The pirate captain - was standing before her with a dagger held to her throat. The room was flooded with green light, and Emma realized the first command had been issued. Swallowing against the pressure of the blade, Emma wet her lips, set her features, then lifted her chin in defiance.

“Seems she needs some convincing,” a guest said in her earbud. “I say we give the Captain free rein to order his wench about. Agreed?”

Others murmured their agreement and the green light illuminated once more. A wide, sinister smile lifted the corners of her Captain's lips and he twisted the dagger so the flat part of the blade rested beneath her chin.

“On your feet, wench,” he commanded, the blade prompting her to stand as he applied subtle pressure upward.

With a predatory gaze he followed the tip of the blade as it dragged across her skin, over the swell of each breast before dipping into the valley between. A shiver of desire coursed through her causing his lust-filled, darkened depths to flick up and meet her own.

He slipped the dagger beneath the laces of her corset and with several firm tugs cut her free from the restrictive garment. A relieved and rapturous exhale left her lungs, her breasts heaving from the joyous release.

“My, my,” Killian purred in his Captain’s voice. “Aren’t you a sightly bit of plunder.”

The tip of the dagger continued to tease and taunt her breasts, the tip swirling around and over each nipple until they were painfully erect and clearly visible through the thin fabric of her blouse. A few more tugs, slashes, and artfully placed cuts left her top in tatters, her breasts fully exposed to their audience and her pirate captor’s eyes. Eyes she chose to remain focused on as more suggestions were bandied about among the crowd.

A new suggestion was green lit, and the Captain stepped forward, closing what little space there had been between them. Trading their positions on the platform, he then pressed down on her shoulders and ordered, “On your knees for the Captain, wench.”

Emma lowered herself in front of him, a defiant, in-character, glare staring up at the smirk he gave her.

Sinking into the chair she had occupied a moment ago, he leaned back and crooked his finger at her. As she shuffled forward on her knees, his gaze hungrily taking her in, he commanded in a low and sultry tone, “Make good use of those hands and undo me laces.”

Her core clenched and she tried to remain in character as she reached up and loosened the laces of his leather trousers as though it were the last thing she wished to do.

“Good girl,” he praised. Slipping his hand into his trousers he pulled out his cock, not quite fully engorged yet, and began stroking it in her face.

“Now then.” She flinched when he tapped her lips with the head of his cock, hard. Taken aback momentarily by the action because she’d been distracted by her earbud, trying to decipher what the crowd was telling them to do next… not that it was a big leap. Reaching down he placed his thumb against her chin and applied a bit of downward force as he told her, “Open that whore’s mouth of yours and take my cock, wench. Let’s see how deft you are at shivering me timber.”

Her eyes watered and she choked against the assault of his member being forcibly shoved down her throat. Flicking her gaze upward, she saw the concern and apology in his eyes before he shut them tight and let his head fall back, an expression of arrogant dominance and self-satisfaction gloating from his features.

The laughter and jeers of the crowd filled her ears, as did the vulgar chant of suck his dick, applied in a rhythm that her Captain made her keep pace with from where he had her hair gripped in his hand at the back of her head.

“That’s it, love,” he praised, tapping out another rhythm behind her ear with his finger as she bobbed against his length. You and me, you and me, you and me.

She’d almost managed to tune out the mob when a woman’s voice grated in her ear.

“Well, hello there, sailor.”

Looking up, Emma saw a woman, decked out ostentatiously in hues of green, arriving late and making her way down the steps. In her hand was the microphone attached to the ear piece she wore. She paused, giving Killian a once over before slinking behind her screen and taking her seat.

Before she disappeared behind the thin veil of fabric, Emma recognized her by the mask she wore. It was the woman who had paused by the two-way mirror the night before to check her flaming red tresses.

“Do us a favor and flick those kohl-lined eyes this way,” she cat-called into her microphone.

The green light signaled from above and another light shone down over her screen. Emma stared up Killian’s body to look at his face and saw the muscle in his jaw clench and spasm before he flicked his eyes away from her and towards the screen, then held his gaze there as the platform continued to turn.

“Mmmm,” the woman hummed provocatively. “Yes, I think I’m going to enjoy tonight’s entertainment very much indeed.”

When the platform circled round again, Emma glanced over at the woman’s screen and could see the silhouette of her reclined back with her legs splayed wide, clearly pleasuring herself under the Captain’s gaze. A jolt of jealous anger ignited down Emma’s spine. Relaxing her jaw, she let Killian slip further down her throat until she could brush the tip of her nose against his torso. A cursing moan slipped over his lips and his hips bucked from the unexpected action.

“Nice!” a guest praised. “Make her take all of it, Captain!”

“No, you fool,” another guest chastised. “We don’t want him blowing his load too soon. Not when the wench has other holes for him to use.”

“I wanna see the wench take control. Let her have the reins for a bit.”

“Maybe next time,” someone countered. “I’m enjoying this too much.”

Next time!? Emma responded internally in a near panic. What the hell do they mean, next time?

“I think her breasts need some attention, too,” another chimed in. “Look how those nipples are just begging for attention.”

“I wanna see her cunny. I bet it is just dripping. Would love to see our Captain’s face glistening from her juices, wouldn’t you?”

All during their debate Emma continued to work her Captain over. She delighted in the way his chest hitched and heaved, the way the chords of his neck tightened, the rosy blush that developed high on his cheeks, the micro spasms twitching through his torso and down his legs, and the sounds… dear god, the sounds this man made.

Green flashed again and Emma was astounded at the way Killian managed to keep track of what was expected of them, given the distraction she’d been providing. Pulling himself from her mouth with a pained sounding grunt, he hauled her onto her feet then shoved her back onto the nearby chaise. She’d barely registered what was happening when he lifted her skirts up over her legs and grabbed her hips, pulling her body towards the edge of the cushion and lining her sex up with his eager mouth.

The exquisite torment lasted for what felt like hours. Time and again he brought her to the brink with his tongue, teeth, and hands, deftly assaulting her clit as he probed, scissored, and thrust his fingers into her holes. When his mouth tired he switched to one of the many toys, holding her on edge until tears streamed down her face and pathetic whimpers escaped her lips. Her back ached from the repeated arch his actions provoked and her legs quivered uncontrollably. A few times, he gave her cunt a rest, turning his attention to her breasts and laving them with his tongue while his slick-coated fingers rolled her nipples into taut peaks that he then sucked clean with his mouth.

The sound of their joint moans were echoed by those from the crowd. A symphony of zippers being undone, fabric being moved, skin being slapped, and groans being uttered filled her ears, making the torture all the more erotic. When she was finally given leave to speak, it was only so she could beg. Beg for mercy. Beg for release. Beg for him to fuck her.

And beg she did.

“Please, Captain,” she whimpered, choking on a sob that had caught in her throat from the fresh assault he was applying to her clit.

“Please what, wench?” he commanded in a strained gruff. “I want to hear you say it.”

“Please let me come,” she pleaded. “Please, please, plea--!”

She didn’t get the third please out before a scream tore past her lips, her body convulsing from the pleasure the vibrating toy at her clit was finally granting her. Wave after wave of release crashed over her until she was so spent she wasn’t certain she hadn’t blacked out. The next thing she knew, she was being hoisted off the chaise and bent over the desk, facing out towards the crowd.

The Captain’s body molded against her back, his breath hot against her ear as he growled, “I’d find something to hold on to if I were you, wench. Because I’m gonna fuck you hard. I’m gonna fuck you deep.”

Emma barely had time to latch on to the corners of the desk when the entire thing tipped forward from the force of his entering thrust. Relentlessly, he pounded into her, egged on by the jeers, cheers, and taunts of the crowd.

“Keep your eyes open, wench,” a voice demanded from the masses. “We wanna see you watching us take pleasure in your degradation.”

The green light commanded that she do just that, the silhouettes from behind the thinly veiled screens leaving little to the imagination of how much the audience was enjoying the show.

“She can keep her eyes on the lot of you,” the irritating woman’s voice said. “I want the Captain’s eyes back on me.” When the green light agreed, Emma could practically hear the woman’s gloating expression in her words. “Cast those come fuck me eyes this way, Captain.”

He must have complied, prompting her to purr, “Oooo, you are a wicked one, aren’t you. Would you like to have your wicked way with me? Tell me all the wicked things you’d like to do to me.”

With effort, given the pounding he was giving her, Emma managed to look back over her shoulder in time to see him flash the woman a wide, yet sinister smile before grunting, “I’d like to shove a gag in your mouth to shut you the fuck up.”

Applause rang out, as did a round of laughter, and Killian turned his attention back to Emma and the brutal pace he was setting.

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he panted on a half groan. “So wet and so tight.”

“That’s it, Captain,” the crowd encouraged over the barrage of their own moans and sounds of satisfaction. “Take her. Use her. Breed her.”

“Yes!” someone cried out. “Breed her! Fill her for us, Captain. I wanna see your cum leak out of her afterward.”

The Captain roared from his release moments later, his fingers digging into her sides to the point of bruising as his hips moved erratically against her ass. Once every last drop had been coaxed from him, he collapsed and fell forward, sprawling across her back as his chest fought for each breath. Around them the sounds and smells of others reaching their own climax filled the air, then for a brief yet glorious moment, things went quiet.

One final swath of green filled her vision, and Killian murmured into her ear, “Stay there, love. One last task, I’m afraid.”

He removed himself from her and she immediately felt the warmth of his release slip from her depths and trickle down her thighs. He gave her ass a quick, firm slap, then spread her cheeks, allowing everyone to see the proof of his conquest as the platform turned one last time.

When the platform came to a stop, a curtain dropped, surrounding the stage and separating them from the audience's view. Killian assisted Emma off the desk and swept her up into his arms before taking them over to the chaise where he could sit and cradle her in his lap. They held each other as their skin cooled, their heartbeats regulated, and their breathing calmed.

“You were wonderful, Swan,” he praised, his fingers gliding across her back and down her side. “I’m so proud of you, love.”

“You, too,” she murmured against his chest, barely able to keep her eyes open, the exhaustion created from both their exertions and the stress of the situation starting to take hold.

“Here. Have her put this on.” A voice caused them both to jump and Emma’s head snapped to where a Lost One stood a few feet away with a robe offered in his outstretched hand.

Killian took it from him and draped it around her shoulders, then helped her to stand so she could secure it around herself.

“Follow me,” the Lost One commanded, setting off towards the door they had entered hours before.

“Are you okay to walk?” Killian asked, his tone full of concern and laced with guilt.

“I’m good,” she assured him. Tucking herself into his side, she added, “But I might need to lean on you a bit.”

“Lean on me all you need,” he told her, wrapping an arm around her waist. “But I don’t mind carrying you.” She flicked her eyes up at him and smiled when his Captain’s persona took hold once more. A surprised yelp squeaked past her lips when he bent down and swept her feet out from under her. Straightening, he adjusted her weight in his arms and cheeked, “I’ve carried rum barrels heavier than the likes of you, wench. So, I’ll have no argument.”

“Aye, aye, Captain.”

~/~

Killian gazed up at the ceiling, his arm wrapped around Emma as she lay curled into his side, the smell of her floral shampoo and conditioner tickling his sinuses. After they’d finished entertaining Pan’s guests, the Lost One had led them to the showers so they could clean up. They’d both been almost too spent and exhausted to wash, much less talk, and little had been said on the way back to their room, while dressing, or even after they’d crawled into bed.

While Emma had drifted off within moments of her head hitting the pillow, Killian had been unable to do so. Too many thoughts were competing in his mind. Thoughts of Emma playing her part as the defiant wench, the memory of her on her knees, splayed out on the chaise, and bent over the desk threatening to make him hard again. Thoughts of the crowd and how he hadn’t expected the proprietary feelings of satisfaction that had coursed through him as he took his wench in their full view, claiming her for his own. Thoughts of what those actions would mean for them now, knowing he had finished inside her without protection. Thoughts of everything the two of them had been through since they had awoken, naked, in bed together all those weeks ago, and… thoughts of what Pan might have in store for them next.

It was these thoughts that were keeping him awake the most.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Emma said groggily, her fingers twirling through the hair on his chest as she sleepily looked up at him.

Furtively, he glanced down at her then back up, unwilling to voice his thoughts to her just yet. Despite everything they’d been through, she seemed so content. In this moment she was safe and happy and hopeful.

He did not wish to deprive her of that.

“Hey,” she said, concern coloring her tone. Reaching up, she cupped his cheek and pulled his face back down, forcing him to look at her. “Tell me. What’s eating you up?” Propping herself up on her elbow, her brows pulled together and a slightly panicked expression crossed her face. “Please tell me you’re not beating yourself up about tonight. You know I would never hold any of that against you, right?”

“Aye, I know,” he responded quickly, not wishing for her to believe for a moment that his trepidations had anything to do with her. “It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“I just… I wonder whether we,” he paused, taking a moment to swallow and fortify his resolve before confessing, “Whether we made the right decision.”

Confusion rooted deeper in her expression. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t you… don’t you wonder why he let us call them?” he said, his fingers gently stroking her arm as a way to ground himself and hopefully keep her feeling connected to him as he attempted to voice his concerns. “Why he made it seem like agreeing to do what we did was the only choice we could make?”

“It was the only choice,” Emma countered emphatically. “Being separated from one another isn’t an option I--”

“But that’s just it,” he argued. “Maybe that’s the choice we should have made.”

Emma pulled back as though he’d just slapped her, and his heart broke at the vulnerability and hurt he saw displayed upon her face and in the tremor of her next words. “Are you… Have I done something to make you not want to…”

Sitting up, he took her face in his hands, leveled his gaze with hers, and assured her, “No. No, please don’t misunderstand me. Being separated from you is the last thing I would ever wish for. I just think that…”

Emma reached up and took his hands into her own, cradling them in her lap as she spoke. “Alright. Talk me through what you’re thinking, then. Why do you think it was a mistake to agree with his demands and stay together?”

Killian’s Adam’s apple bobbed and he drew in a deep breath, not wishing to voice his concerns for fear of making them real. He’d rather them both be prepared for the possibility, though. Everything they’d faced, they’d faced together. Choosing together. He didn’t want this to be any different.

“Each round of Pan’s demented game has escalated things between us,” he began. “First, it was stripping away our vulnerability. Forcing us to reveal things about ourselves that we would never normally reveal.”

Emma nodded and squeezed his hands. “Go on.”

Wetting his lips, he continued. “The second round was all about taking advantage of our attraction towards each other and getting us comfortable with sharing physical intimacy. This third round challenged and exploited the lines of physical intimacy we were willing to explore with one another.”

“Yeah,” she replied. “Each round has ratched up the stakes of our experience here, making us more and more compliant.”

“And each round’s rewards and penalties have reflected that.” He held her gaze with an intensity he hoped would lead her into understanding where he was going without him having to say it explicitly.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t quite getting it.

“I still don’t understand why you think it might have been best if we’d chosen to be separated.”

“What if the next escalation, or the one after that, is…” He swallowed past the bile working its way up his throat, “...actual harm to each other. Violence.”

Emma balked and her mouth dropped open with a gasp. Clearly, such a thought had not occurred to her until now.

“What if Pan makes us hurt each other? What then?” he continued on, pulling her into his arms and whispering the rest into her hair in a tone of apology. “Maybe he tricked us into staying together? Maybe we would be better off separated, because… Now we have to face what it would mean to have hurt someone we… how are we supposed to respond when faced with the command to injure the other? What would you have me do if Pan orders me to…”

Thoughts of the unthinkable made it impossible for him to continue, but after a few moments Emma pulled back and ran her fingers down the side of his face.

“We’ve already made our choice to stay together. There’s no point in wondering whether or not it was the right one.”

Killian nuzzled his face into her hand then turned his head to place a kiss on her palm.

“Besides,” she said, his tough lass straightening her shoulders and setting her resolve. “If Pan commands that one of us is to be harmed, then the harm will happen regardless.”

Killian cocked his head to one side, not completely sure what she meant by that statement.

Fortunately, she clarified, saying, “Either one of us will administer the injury, or he’ll have one of his Lost Ones do it. Either way… the injury will occur. There’s nothing either of us can do to stop it from happening.”

“Aye. You’re right,” Killian replied. “I suppose the thing we must ask ourselves is whether we can endure the guilt, and every other emotion that might come with it, should we be the one to inflict such pain on the other.”

Several silent beats of his heart went by before she softly, yet hesitantly asked, “Could you?”

Killian took another beat to truly consider the question. The question he’d been considering for most of the night. If Pan commanded it, could he hurt the woman he loved?

“No,” he stated definitively. “It’s one thing to administer a spanking to you, and quite another to…” He balled his hand into a fist and stared down at it, his Adam’s apple bobbing painfully. “The thought of putting my fist to you… I can’t. I won’t.” Gazing back up at her, he added, “And I won’t fault you for having a Lost One mete out Pan’s orders on me either. Especially if it will save you from having to carry that guilt, love.”

Emma nodded her understanding and acceptance, then prompted him to lie back down beside her. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that,” she whispered softly, though there was very little hope in her tone.

“Aye, love. Let’s hope so.”

Part Ten

[jeongyunhoed]

As seen on my FF.net Also seen on my Ao3

Following the events of fifth year, a new adventure awaits for Norah Lee. Boys, exams, school events, common room parties, and old foes outside of Hogwarts. Even battling pensieve guardians was easier than this.

Main Pair: OC / Ominis Gaunt Genre: Adventure/Angst/Fluff (it's a little of everything, tbh)

KEEP IN MIND: Characters are aged up (even if the story's got them in sixth year) to make it more appropriate. Time period is leaning towards the modern day so in case you might find anachronisms in the dialogue or references, this is why. This may also be quite a lengthy fic too.

BE WARNED: Social anxiety, mentions of blood and injury, grief, drinking, kissing but nothing more than that, death (this is Hogwarts Legacy, after all)

P.P.S: Norah and Ominis being idiots Part 3. This is also quite a short chapter.

Masterlist

Chapter 21

Norah and Natty were in Diagon Alley the next day, both of them keen on restocking their supplies of combat plants and some potions. The two of them were alert and well enough to go out for the day as many, if not most, of their fellow students were now nursing hangovers from the night before. Henry had taken it upon himself to check on Amit, with Norah offering to let him rest in the Room of Requirement. She had even told Deek to send food in case they got hungry while he was there to which the house elf happily agreed.

"It's nice to hang out again, without the boys around," Natty said, as they crossed the bridge to the Magic Neep. "Amit should keep Henry busy for a while. It was nice of you to let him study in your Room of Requirement."

Norah shrugged at the thought. "He's been overwhelmed lately, and afraid of telling both Nellie and Samantha that he's not prioritizing a relationship right now."

Natty nodded, finally understanding Amit's sudden urge to get drunk the night before. "Henry did mention something to me about how Amit was feeling with all the romantic attention."

The Slytherin girl was amused. "Look at you and Henry, already acting like a married couple and we haven't even left Hogwarts yet," She teased, making Natty blush. "At least two people among us are happy."

Natty shook her head profusely. "I told myself that I would never be that kind of person who would always be so preoccupied with their relationship that they forget their friends. Romantic relationships may come and go, but friendships are the most valuable."

"Right," Norah teased some more, making Natty nudge her. "But you are right," She added as they entered the Hogsmeade Graveyard to visit the mausoleum where Professor Fig and his wife were buried. Lodgok's grave was also next to the mausoleum.

"What about you and Ominis? Have you told him how you felt?" It was Natty's turn to tease.

Norah shook her head. "I don't think it's worth it," She said, suddenly remembering their conversation during the party before they were interrupted. "But..I found out that it wasn't Anne that he was interested in."

Natty's eyes widened. "You did? He told you?"

"Mhmm," Norah hummed. "He said it wasn't Anne, but he didn't say who it was. So I know but at the same time I don't."

As she laid down some flowers she picked nearby, she spotted a flicker of light coming from another mausoleum. Norah turned her attention back to the graves before them, only to hear a faint ruckus coming from the same mausoleum. She nudged Natty, who seemed to be noticing the same thing. The two girls exchanged looks and quietly stepped out of the mausoleum, hands in their pockets poised to take out their wands as they approached the entrance.

"The Tomb of the Villager," Norah said, hearing that faint ruckus coming from inside. "I cleared this out of Ashwinders last year, who might be coming back here now?"

Natty shrugged. "With Harlow on the loose again and restarting his cause, I wouldn't put it past him to revisit old haunts, like this supposed tomb."

"Could Harlow be hiding out down there? There's nothing much to be seen except those rising columns," Norah was curious.

"We can't know for sure, but this is a good place to set up a secret hideout," Natty pointed out. She turned to Norah. "Shall we go in and find out?"

Norah thought for a moment. "As much as I would like to immediately go in there and give them a piece of my mind, I think we need to keep watch before we make any move. Officer Singer might try and keep us out of this if she finds out."

"She is incredibly unfit for her job, I have to admit."

"I suggest we keep observing this until we know more. We can tell the boys what's going on," Norah explained. "In the meantime, let's go back to the castle."

"Good idea," Natty agreed. "It won't hurt to have a disillusionment charm with an invisibility potion on hand though."

Norah laughed as they left the graveyard. "Make it a dozen vials."

~

Norah and Natty returned to the Room of Requirement that afternoon to see Sebastian and Ominis already there, sitting by the multiple potions stations while avoiding the large vat that was the dung composter. As Norah had suspected, Deek did indeed summon food from the kitchens to be laid out for the boys. Henry, on the other hand, was hunched over one of the tables, his bag, along with his books and journal, were splayed out in front of him next to a glass of water.

Sebastian was seated at Norah's desk, where she kept all the letters and notes she found in fifth year. "We came as soon as we got your owl," He looked over at them as Amit was already helping himself to some food to cure his hangover. "Ashwinders going into that mausoleum in Hogsmeade?" He was confused.

"Yes, we were wondering the same thing, especially as Norah already cleared that place out last year," Natty nodded. "I think they're using it as a hideout of some sort, but from what Norah told me, that place is a little too small to house those people."

"Then there must be something more to that tomb," Amit suddenly spoke in between bites of food. "Like a secret passage."

"Thinking about it, the graveyard is close to the Hog's Head, and behind the Hog's Head is the cellar that was an Ashwinder lair," Natty recalled.

Norah sensed where this was going. "With Harlow's lot trying to look back into the goblin mines, could they have used the drills to... maybe..."

"Underground tunnels?" Ominis tilted his head at them. "Could they be that smart to think of burrowing further underground?"

"It makes sense that they'd do that. Possibly connect the tunnels to the Ashwinder camp. They'd have two points of entry," Norah agreed. "It would make it easier for them to mobilize. But if they do that, Hogsmeade would be in danger."

Their expressions fell at the thought. "An Ashwinder-run Hogsmeade? That would be terrible," Amit shuddered. "What makes it even worse is how close it is to Hogwarts."

"I think they are counting on it being close to Hogwarts for the very reasons we heard in Horklump Hollow," Norah glanced at Sebastian, who remembered their little trip. "Harlow is looking to retaliate and restart the empire he built with Rookwood."

Ominis felt a pang of anxiety, while Henry sat up. "You mean Harlow is coming for you? Again?" The Ravenclaw boy questioned.

"Possibly. And he might come after Natty too, since we were the ones he faced in Manor Cape that night," Norah glanced at Natty, who nodded. "So, hear me out for a bit, I'll have to do the investigating on my own-"

Unsurprisingly, it was met with objections from most of the people in the room. Even Amit, who they knew to be especially cautious and timid, voiced his objection. "Norah, I think you're underestimating how much we can protect ourselves and help you. You're only one person," Sebastian said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"I know you can. Truly, I do. I was actually thinking of being the lure. I'm the trap you guys can spring onto Harlow and those Ashwinders. If they try and get to me, that will be your chance of striking, does it make sense?" Norah explained with some uncertainty. "So if they see me doing all of this on my own, they won't see the rest of you coming. They know I have friends, but they don't know you guys will also be there to trap them."

"Oh, so we're moving in the shadows, eh?" Henry grinned. "That's awfully sneaky of us. I like it."

"Something like that," Norah shrugged. "So, what do you think?"

They all nodded in approval. "That's a much better plan," Ominis said. "So, what do you plan on doing now?"

"I was thinking of observing for any activity nearby whenever I'm in Hogsmeade. It might be too risky to go in there without drawing attention, so best be discreet for now," Norah explained.

That made Amit think. "We usually stop by 's before we go astronomy table hunting, right? We can do that too."

"Things like this can take time. Unless someone gets to Harlow again before we do, we'll have to wait to find out more for now," The Slytherin girl shrugged. "I have a feeling Sirona and others might tell us again to stay out of it, but if Harlow is set on endangering people once more, we might have to get involved."

Her words were followed by hums of agreement. There was still time to look through the rest of the abandoned loyalist mines to find out more information on the work Isidora and Bragbor had done. Norah wished that Ranrok hadn't killed Lodgok. If he were still alive, or at the very least, spared by the goblin warlord, Lodgok would've provided them with some insight into their ancestor. Seeing as both of them were now dead, Norah needed to keep searching for a lead.

~

All of them opted to have dinner at the Room of Requirement that night. Deek was more than happy to tidy up and send for more food. The air in the room was different, filled with the excitement and anticipation of the plan Norah hatched. Amit was feeling considerably better by then, but remembering his whole situation all over again had him sulking.

"At this point, just tell them," Henry said with an exasperated sigh, making everyone at the table glance at him with concerned expressions on their faces. "You can't mope around forever, you'll have to make it clear to them about how you feel."

Ominis had a feeling Henry wasn't just saying that to Amit. "They won't want to be left hanging and wondering if you'll ever consider them," Norah added. "I remember, back when I studied in a muggle school, some girls would leave the classroom crying after being led on by the boys they liked."

"Norah's right," Natty agreed. "It will hurt, but I'm sure they will get over it."

Amit sat up. "I-well-I-it's not like I don't particularly like any of them. They're both great. I just need some time to think."

"Who would've thought Amit Thakkar was like this," Sebastian shook his head, with Henry agreeing.

"Alright, we won't press you on that anymore," Norah grinned, thinking of shifting the topic. "You know, my parents told me about this thing they did when they first met. In Japan, boys would give the person they liked the second button of their school shirt or blazer."

The rest of them were curious. "How odd. Why?" Henry was especially intrigued.

"Because it's the button closest to the heart," Norah revealed. "It usually happens at the end of term. I think it's really sweet."

Ominis tilted his head down, one hand already feeling the buttons at the bottom of his shirt. It didn't go unnoticed by Sebastian, whose expression fell slightly at the sight of it. Little did Ominis know, Sebastian also saw Norah fumbling with the buttons on her shirt.

Following dinner, Deek immediately sought to clean up as most of them decided to leave while Norah took to tending to all the beasts in the vivariums. As she sat down in the meadowy vivarium to brush the puffskeins while dodging a surprise tongue from time to time, she wondered if what she was doing was the right thing.

She was going to risk detection again, and possibly end up in detention a lot, and maybe cost Slytherin hundreds of house points. But the cause was bigger, if she couldn't stop Harlow, who will?

Once she was done feeding and brushing the jobberknolls, she stepped out of the vivarium and went to the magical loom, weaving all the materials she got into the clothes she found during her latest treasure hunts. She would sell them all when she got to visit Hogsmeade again the following weekend.

What Natty asked her earlier in the graveyard stayed with her, about her telling Ominis how she felt about him. Maybe she could, there wasn't anything wrong about it, wasn't there?

She approached her desk, noticing the scattered notes that Sebastian looked through while he waited earlier. Luckily, he didn't get to see the thin wad of letters that Ominis sent her during Ronen's assignment, terrible poems and all. Norah sat down and a small object immediately caught her eye. It was placed at the very corner of the desk.

A button.

[aquietwritingcorner]

Bite Down On This

Title: Bite Down on This Day: Febuwhump 2024, Day 3 Prompt:   Bite Down on This Fandom:  TMNT 2003 Word Count: 1431  Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl Rating:  T Characters: Raphael Warning: NA Summary: Raph’s taken a hard hit, leaving him with some of the worst pain he’s felt in his life, thanks to a dislocated hip.    Notes: I might have watched several videos on how put a hip back in place before writing this ^^;   ff.net || AO3

_________________________ 

Bite Down on This

A guttural, pain-filled scream forced its way out of Raphael’s throat as he hit the edge of the rooftop, his plastron grazing it, his hip taking most of the hit, and went skidding across it. The pain from the hit was blinding. But what was worse was that it wasn’t ending. Raph had taken hard hits before, but the pain usually faded at least a little. But this? No. His brothers were over on the other rooftop, still fighting, and Raph could barely comprehend that through the pain radiating from his hip.

His hands went to his leg, partially on instinct, and he let out another painfilled cry as they touched it. No good. He couldn’t touch it. He couldn’t move it. He couldn’t make it do anything. And the pain was some of the worst he’d ever felt—and he’d experienced some pretty bad pain before.

Something thudded on the rooftop, and Raph forced himself to look towards it. The big Foot Ninja, the one who had hit Raph with enough force to send him over here, had joined him. Raph bared his teeth at him, but he knew that he didn’t stand a chance against the man. Not right now. Still, he gripped his sai and, trying to breathe through the pain, he let out a growl.

The Foot Ninja was not intimidated. He walked towards Raph, and held up the axe he carried, clearly intent on bringing it down. Raph grimaced. No. No! He wasn’t going down like this! He flung his sai, but with the pain he was in, his aim was off. Instead of it hitting the man in the throat, one caught him in the arm, and the other grazed his neck. It made the man fall back slightly, but only enough to pull out the sai and raise the axe again.

And Raph could do nothing but pant in pain.

Suddenly, Leo slammed into the Foot from behind, sending him tumbling away from Raph. Within seconds Mikey and Don were there, too, barreling the man down and making sure that he wasn’t going to get up to hurt Raph or any of them again.

Raph watched from where he laid, breathing heavily and shaking from the pain.

“Raph!” Leo whirled and ran over to him. “Raph, where are you hurt?”

“M-my leg,” Raph ground out. “My h-hip.”

Leo’s eyes quickly traveled down to Raph’s leg, and he grimaced. “Think you can stand?”

“I… I don’t think… I can move, Leo,” Raph said.

“We can’t stay here,” Leo said, moving around to reach for Raph’s shoulders, clearly intent on moving him. “Let’s at least get to some cover—”

“Don’t move him!” Don’s voice rang out sharply across the rooftop.

Leo startled. “But Don we need—”

“I know, Leo,” Don said, but his face was grim as he looked Raph over. “But we can’t move him yet. If I’m right, Raph’s got a dislocated hip, and without the proper equipment, we’re only going to make it worse.”

“Something tells me we don’t have the proper equipment,” Mikey said, putting his nunchucks away.

“We definitely don’t.” Don was already kneeling by Raph, looking at his leg. “And this definitely looks like a dislocated hip, from the way his legs are different lengths. Looks like a posterior dislocation—the femur, the leg bone, pushed backward out of socket—seeing how his foot and knee are rotated inward.”

“It hurts—like—shell,” Raph said, through gritted teeth.

“Alright, Don, then what do we do? We can’t stay here,” Leo said. “The Foot will be back soon, and we’re in no shape to keep fighting, especially not with Raph down.”

Don looked at Raph’s leg, looking, somehow, even more grim. “Logistically? The easiest thing to do would be a reduction—putting it back into place. Physically? The quicker we do it, the better, because of less damage, but…”

“But?” Leo prompted.

“But we don’t have any painkillers to give him and doing that is going to hurt. A lot,” Don said.

Leo was quiet for a moment. The Foot had been chasing them all night. They’d beaten back one patrol, but it was likely that another would find them soon. And they were in no shape for another fight.

Leo’s face settled into a firm look, and he looked down at Raph. “I don’t think we have any other choice,” he said.

“Raph?” Don asked.

Raph was pale, sweaty, with pain playing across his face. But he nodded. “Do—do what… ya gotta…”

Don nodded and set to work. “Okay. But Leo, Mikey, you’re going to have to help me. Leo, when I tell you, I’m going to need you to put pressure here,” he said, indicating a spot just above Raph’s leg, “so that the hipbone doesn’t move.” Leo nodded and moved into position.

“Mikey, you’re going to have to help hold Raph down. And not just when I’m doing the reduction, but even when I’m manipulating the limb.” Mikey nodded, and moved to where he could put most of his weight on Raph.

“Raph…” Don reached into his bag and pulled out some rags that he quickly rolled together. “Bite down on this. Trust me, you’re going to need it.”

“I need it now,” Raph said, but he let Don put the rags in his mouth, already starting to bite down on them.

Don looked up at his brothers, taking a couple of deep breaths, but nodded. “Alright. Here we go.”

Don worked his forearm under Raph’s knee, and Raph tensed, letting out another cry of pain. Mike pressed down on him, keeping his brother still. Slowly, Don moved his brother’s leg until his thigh was ninety degrees to the rooftop, and his calf was bent at a ninety-degree angle. Raph let out muffled cries of pain as this happened, biting the cloth and trying to breathe. Mikey kept him pressed down to the rooftop and kept a quiet stream of encouragements and chatter going.

“Alright, Raph, I’m going to need you to do your best to relax,” Don said.

“Relax?” Mikey said, and Don shot him a look.

“Relax this muscle,” Don said. “It’ll go back in easier if the muscles are relaxed.”

Raph was breathing heavily through his nose, but he nodded. With enormous willpower, he did his best to relax that leg and that hip as much as possible. Don waited until he was sure, and then nodded at Leo. Leo put his hand on Raph’s hip, causing another noise of pain to come through the rags. Don, kneeling for the leverage he needed to do this, counted.

“One. Two. Three.”

On three, he moved, twisting the leg so that the femoral head popped back into the socket. Raph felt nothing but pain, and even through the rags he was biting down on, his scream echoed across the rooftops. As soon as the hip was back in place, though, his whole body sagged, and he gasped for breath.

“Good job,” Leo said, even though his face was pinched in sympathy for his brother.

“I’m not finished,” Don warned. “I need to make sure it went in correctly.”

Raph nodded faintly, and Don proceeded, making sure that Raph’s legs were the same length, and that he had a safe range of motion. Raph let out little noises of pain as Don did this, still biting down on the rags. Don let out a sigh of relief, and carefully laid Raph’s leg back down which Leo and Mike took as their cue and got off of Raph, too, Mikey taking the rags from their brother’s mouth.

“It seems to have gone smoothly,” Don said.

“That will have attracted a lot of attention,” Leo said. “Don, can we move him now?”

Don nodded. “Yes, but carefully. We don’t need to let him put pressure on that leg yet, at least as much as possible, and he’s going to need to rest it.”

“Well, that’s going to make getting down from here and walking home fun,” Mikey said, peering over the edge of the roof.”

“We’ll make it,” Leo said. “Raph, are you ready to move?”

“No,” Raph said, already struggling to sit up, “But I’ll do what I’ve gotta.”

Carefully, the brothers helped Raph up and towards the edge of the roof. It was tricky, but Raph too stubborn to give up. Carefully, and as quietly as they could manage, the brothers slipped off into the night and down into the sewers, leaving behind the remains of a battlefield, and the echoes of Raph’s muffled screams.

[pryings]

TOA Anniversary Munday

thank you neffi for this template!!!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: ruaidhrí (said pretty much like the english name rory and if you want to spell it that way that's fine too, ik irish names throw people off)

Pronouns: he/him

Birthday (no year): 25th of october!

Where are you from? What is your time zone? i live in colorado and my timezone is MST

How long is your roleplay experience? i don't know exactly how many years since i sometimes have years where h don't rp but i've been rping on and off since i was 11-12.

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? oh gosh, so ff.net used to have (maybe still has, i literally have not been on that site in ages) these like... forums? and i joined one for elder scrolls rp a little after oblivion came out. i was far and away the youngest one there but everyone was so nice in helping me turn my character into a proper oc with like... backstory, a real personality, etc. after that, i spent a lot of time using it to try and grow my creative writing skills.

How were you introduced to TOA? honestly i just stumbled across it randomly! i had just replayed a few fe games and was looking through some tags and thought it might be fun to try fire emblem rp (i'd done some on indie tumblr back in the day, as well as in an mfrp a little bit, but never fire emblem exclusive rp) so i sent arden to check it out and, well, here we still are.

Do you have any pets? simon (mini poodle), john hancock (tabby cat), and tim & geeb (fluffy black cats)

What is your favorite time of year and why? (Season, holiday, general period) early spring! i also like late fall for its temperature, but i dislike snow/sleet/wet socks so spring is preferable because it's not very snowy here!

What is your IRL occupation? blessedly unemployed (health issues have prevented me from working aha)... i used to work IT though!

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? i like birdwatching, reading academic articles about ancient civilizations, and making espresso drinks

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? currently enjoying bg3 + doing a dragon age replay (in preparation for veilguard). outside current, i really like most single-player rpg type games (esp. with customizable character), stealth games (dishonored favorite), and Identity V is the first asymmetrical horror mobile game developed by NetEase for

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: my favorite pokemon ever is alakazam (and its whole line) i've loved alakazam foreverrrrr! favorite type is steel, though! apart from my psychic baby most of my other favs tend to be steel types

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! oh gosh i'm so bad at fun facts...

- i can put both my feet behind my head but i can't touch my toes - my favorite non-ancient empire to read about is austria-hungary - my cat tim was rescued from Outside

How did you get into Fire Emblem? friend's cool older brother was playing a bunch of the games in a seemingly random order. when i'd hang out at that friend's house sometimes we'd sit and watch. i asked him to lend me some and he did!

What Fire Emblem games have you played? i have now played all of them! (last year when i answered this i hadn't technically played them all, but i'd seen playthroughs and watched let's plays of all of them at the very least)

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: a bad translation of fe4 was first, por is still my favorite—but tbh there's not really one i dislike

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! - KNOLL (promoted to number one he's my special guy) - reyson - canas - ashnard - pandreo

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! QUAN—i have such a distinct memory of seeing him come in but i don't remember my initial thought, only that he would have my heart forever

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳 vander. duessel. hardin.

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? - Awakening: first was sumia! i don't have a set nowadays because i've done a different one on each playthrough - Fates: first was xander, would probably still do xander if i were to replay - Three Houses: first was seteth, if i replay i'll go for hanneman - Engage: first was pandreo! next time i plan to do ivy though

Favorite Fire Emblem class? i like shapeshifter classes! beasts, dragons, laguz, etc. i just think they're fun to play with

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? oh gosh, i'd be an infantry axe unit probably. middling starting stats but high growths if you really work at making me good (there would be heated debates over whether the necessary time investment would be worth it)

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? black eagles!

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? axe boon, heavy armor bane, budding talent in faith magic (could be classed into an fe:a style war cleric and it would be my suggested goal)

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? i want to say brodia!

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔 toh-ah

Current TOA muses: just knoll <3

Past TOA muses? robin, niles, almedha, reyson, hardin, iago, perceval, lachesis (i think that's all?)

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? my first muse was m!robin and thankfully i am spared any temptation on picking him up as he is currently being written.

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) i'm kind of all over the place, aren't i? i like characters where i can poke at hidden depths but ones who aren't too closely guarded. i like characters who are shy, withdrawn, standoffish, guarded, etc. in some way but who open up when spoken to. i don't think this has changed since last year, i've been writing for a long time and kind of know my comfort zone.

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? boisterous/loud and over the top characters always challenge me, but i've never really managed to make them work, which is a shame because i tend to enjoy lively characters!

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) -i love writing threads where setting/scenery is a focus, where i get to sort of use the landscape as a bit more than set-dressing - i enjoy throwing my muse at characters who mistrust him for whatever reason, and like to explore the kind of slow, mutual understanding that comes from two people getting to know one another - i really just like putting him in situations in general, forcing him to socialize—he's a very withdrawn character so any excuse to have him meet new people is very enjoyable

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? nothing specific! i have kind of an arc for him but it's loosely-defined right now

Favorite TOA-related memories? HAPPYLAND WAS SO MUCH FUN. sincerely i loved the interactions he had there <3

Present or past tense? i default to present, but adapt to what my partner prefers on this!

Normal size text, small text, no preference? small text, bolded dialogue. just easier for my eyes to take it in that way.

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 oh gosh. i recently had to go down to just one muse because my health is not so good, but i will admit i already have a few delusions. if i can get myself back to a spot where i feel like i can write a second, someone may return.

[dairogo]

20 Questions for the Writer

Tagged by @griseldabanks ^_^

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

Only 18 :O I have a bunch on fanfiction.net that I never transferred over, but they're all an extra 10 or so years older than the Ao3 ones so ... there's some disparity of quality, partly in the writing but also very much in the content present.

2. What is your total Ao3 word count?

168,935

3. What fandoms do you write for?

FMA! I had other things when I was younger, but FMA bit and it's the one that stuck with me.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Bed Too Small (Mustang POV, same bed trope, tongue-in-cheek)

Wayward Youth (Hawkeye POV, learning about crushes and affection from the girls at her boarding school while seeking her father's attention)

Order 3066 (Hawkeye and Mustang POVs alternating, Ishval fic about being broken and coming out of it [still broken, but moving])

Partiality (Mustang POV, post-canon, broaching the topic of a relationship)

The Next Step (shifting POV, written soon after giving birth to my youngest and in a bit of a family-related haze. Mostly fluff.)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I certainly try to! I might have missed some along the way, but I usually get there!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hurrrghgh, one from my ff.net days: The Manga-ka Has Her Reasons. It was basically saying, hey, they can't get together guys - things will go bad if they do. And so it ended with them both dead.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'd say The Next Step, because it's just fluffy and lovely :)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. The last time I remember feeling taken aback by a comment it was over a decade ago and it was someone rightly pointing out a factual error I'd made. The FMA community I've found myself in is largely positive, and I don't know if that's about the FMA community in general, or that the stuff I write appeals to people who are just cool about community instead of looking to be jerks. Whatever the reason, I'm very grateful!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nah

10. Do you write crossovers?

I've got a half written FMA/HP crossover that I started in like 2005, resurrected a few years ago, and then haven't touched for the last year and a half. Sigh. It's probably going to be stuck in my brain forever.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a fic

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Royai for suuuuure <3 I'm so big on romance as a side-plot, and if that's not the perfect way to explain their relationship I don't know what is. Like, FMA aside, their own personal story is that romance is their side-plot, not their main thing.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Wayward Youth! I have a few really rough drafts of later chapters that need to be edited, but I still haven't written all the way to the end and I'm happily working on another project with all the time/headspace I have, so I don't want to interrupt that flow. But I'm hoping to slowly accrue the last of it, then go through and make it presentable and post it one day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I can write fairly clear action. And I like putting together a lot of threads to tug on as I go - not all big plot things necessarily, but just things that repeat again later to add an extra layer.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't know. I feel like I can write in a very blunt way sometimes, so I have to be intentional about adding in colour and emotion - that doesn't always come through on the first try.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I wouldn't do this to show to a native speaker, oh boy oh boy nosirree! Currently reading a book on English idioms and my main thought as I looked at it today is that this is exactly why I'll never consider myself fluent in other languages.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

In year 5 we had to co-write a story and my best friend and I basically wrote an AU of Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Look, it depends on my mood. If I want something light and short, I can't go past Desperately Hoping He Didn't Look Like an Idiot (modern AU, Royai without angst). But I'm probably proudest of Order 3066, because it took a lot of work and a lot of emotional catharsis to get through that and I ended up with a bit of a deadline for when I had to finish it up and made it! So I feel good about it.

Tagging @scienceoftheidiot and @fullmetalscullyy if you're interested :)

[esta-elavaris]

Flufftober Day 9: Massage - James Norrington/OC [1,149 words]

* this prompt comes from an alternative list I found, and isn't for one of the official Flufftober prompts.

My Flufftober '23 masterpost can be found here, and my behemoth of a main fic about these two is here 💜✨

When James returned home from his first day of work under the great and mighty Lord Cutler Beckett, he appeared angry. The second, exasperated. On the third, however, he just looked exhausted. Having anticipated his working days no longer being the source of satisfaction they had once been for him, Theo met him at the door with a glass of whiskey in hand, and a sympathetic face that, she hoped, hid her worry.

“I should like to think,” he said, sitting on the sofa and ridding himself of his hat and wig both, “that even without your input, I would have seen him for what he was.”

Theo considered his words, lips twisting at one side.

“It’s been a while since I was able to brush up on the source material, but from what I do remember, you were never particularly chummy. I think, at absolute most, you considered him a necessary evil…until Governor Swann…”

She regretted the words immediately, for they only seemed to add to the heaviness cast upon her husband. There was a weariness about his eyes that she knew he would not allow to be seen were anybody else in the room with them – and while it warmed her that he allowed her to see it, it still made her sad to witness, all the same. His jaw was set, his lips pursed, and he even gave it away from the neck down, too. His shoulders held tightly squared even as he sat, the hand not holding the crystal tumbler of whiskey clenched tightly into a fist, even his thighs tensed visibly, twitching every now and then beneath the tight confines of his breeches as though ready to spring up into action.

This wouldn’t stand.

“How do you feel about the prospect of dinner in our nightclothes?” she asked.

He blinked at her. “When people talk of changing for dinner, that’s not quite what they mean, my love.”

Theo snorted.

“Yes, thank you for the English lessons, I’m quite aware. But I have a plan for before dinner, but we’d have to shed a few layers and putting them back on might be uncomfortable after.”

“That’s where your mind strays to after talk of Beckett?” he raised one dark eyebrow at her.

“That is not what I was talking about, you absolute lecher,” she laughed. “Come. I’ll show you.”

His suspicions were hardly assuaged when she led him upstairs to the bedroom and ordered that he should strip down to naught but his breeches. As he did, she took up a jar from her vanity. Coconut oil – the only thing she would willingly use on her skin here, because she knew it wouldn’t contain arsenic, nor lead, nor bird shit, or whatever else it was the fine ladies of Port Royal were rubbing into their faces each night.

When he was done undressing, he helped her strip down to her shift – mostly so that she could move freely, and wasn’t at risk of crushing him beneath the weight of all of her damned skirts.

“Lie on your stomach – on the bed,” she said, gesturing towards it like he didn’t know where it was.

It was then that he caught on, and he smiled softly.

“Theodora, you needn’t-”

“I want to,” she interrupted, rising on the balls of her feet so she could peck him on the lips.

He offered no more argument then, settling down onto the bed with his arms tucked beneath a pillow, his head turned sideways atop it.

However tense she’d thought him earlier, she realised now that tense was an understatement. The man was like a steel beam. Settling the jar down beside him, she climbed up onto the bed and straddled him – swatting his backside as she did so. He breathed a low, surprised laugh.

“Now who’s the lecher?” he asked.

Theo smirked. “You’re right, this is just an excuse for me to get my hands on you.”

As she spoke, she dug out a chunk of the oil with her fingertips and began to warm it between her hands so it would melt.

“Mm. You need never look for an excuse to put your hands on me,” he said.

If that wasn’t a glowing privilege, she didn’t know what was.

She began by smoothing her hands up and down his back, taking note of a few scars here and there that she’d previously known by touch alone. Up and down her hands worked, over and over, increasing the pressure on each pass until she was using her body weight to press the heels of her palms into his back, ever on the look out for signs that it was too much. There were none, but still she worried – she was hardly a professional masseuse.

“If it hurts, tell me and I’ll stop,” she said quietly.

James made a noise akin to a purr and murmured.

 “If you stop, I’ll never forgive you.”

Theo laughed quietly, curling her hands into fists and using her knuckles next, thumbs pressing down at either side of his spine as she moved up, straightening her fingers to press beneath his shoulder blades when she reached them, working out the knots where the muscles had bunched up, then upwards still, around to the front of his strong, broad shoulders while her thumbs smoothed across the base of his neck.

She worked up quite a sweat as she progressed – thrilled she’d thought to strip down, her brow and chest developing a sheen despite the fact she was only in a shift. But she delighted in each new reaction she drew out of him, noting what worked best and going forward accordingly. Only when there was no portion of skin on display that she hadn’t thoroughly attended to, and then some, did she stop. By that point, it had grown entirely dark outside, his eyes had fluttered shut, and he was all but melted into the bed. It was difficult to say whether he was awake.

Erring on the side of caution, she leaned back and placed her hands onto the footboard of the bed behind her, doing her best to ease herself backwards without upsetting the mattress too much. Her toes scarcely brushed the floor before she was reminded that she was, indeed, married to a warrior – for in one moment he was lying as if boneless on the bed, and the next he was upright, a hand at her arm, pulling her towards him until her back was against his chest.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he murmured into her ear.

Theo laughed, allowing him to drag her back. “Someone’s feeling better.”

“Someone, evidently, is married to a witch,” he teased, lips brushing the side of her jaw. “But she uses her powers for good.”

Dinner ended up being a tray of fruit and cheese, on a tray in their bed – many hours later.

Links: AO3 -- FF.net -- flufftober masterpost -- dividers by cafekitsune

[aromantic-enjolras]

20 questions for 20 writers!

Thank you @pumpkinspice-prouvaire for the tag! Let me see what I can do with this...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Holy fu- Fourty-four??? When did that happen????

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

122,025. One third of yours, pumpkin!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Les Mis and Jesus Christ Superstar. I used to write for Cats a few years ago, and I wrote Sherlock and Harry Potter once upon a time. I also wrote Stranger Things once, but that was a gift for @p-trichor and I don't think I will again (writing about characters from a show you've never watched is stressful!)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Rumour Has It (Les Mis, ExR Prof AU). Good Enough To Eat (Stranger Things, vampire Steddie). Merlin (TV) according to Ao3 (Merlin, not technically a fic). Ne m'aime pas (Les Mis, aro!Enjolras). Sleepy Love (Harry Potter, Wolfstar). my beloathed, so happy it's almost out of the top 5

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to!! I love getting comments, so I do like getting back to people. Though sometimes someone leaves a comment so elaborate and so kind I freeze at how to make a good enough response and I never do. So... @buffintruder I promise I cherish every single one of your comments please don't be hurt if I don't answer!!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uuuuuh.... I guess depends on your definition. If we're going for implications, it would be "A Kiss With a Betrayal (Is Better Than None)". Nothing that bad happens, but it's the setup of Judas' betrayal of Jesus, and shit gets daaark after that. If you go with actual sad ending, "I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship" would have to take it. Enjolras cries so much in that one.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

"Curiosity Trapped the Cat", probably. It's just so cute!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not anymore, thankfully! When I was a fandom youngster I got a very angry comment on a Jily (Harry Potter) fic from someone who was enraged Lily didn't end up with Snape, and someone who ripped me a new one for using a word that turned out to be perfectly neutral in my native language and a slur in English.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! Not often, but I have a PWP on Ao3, actually. For some reason I only do it as a collaborative effort, though: the Courfjolras PWP on Ao3 is a joint fic with @pumpkinspice-prouvaire and I have two Courfjoltaire WIPs with @shamedumpster (called "In the Middle (While you two get along)" and "Skip the awkward (come undone)" ^^).

10. Do you write crossovers?

Same as pumpkin here. I don't do crossovers, but I do love myself a good AU!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Does it count if I was the one doing it? My first fic, the Jily one I was saying, I wrote in my native language and then translated to English. The two versions are on ff.net!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep! Apart from the aforementioned Courfjolras PWP, I wrote a cute fluffy ExR with @pumpkinspice-prouvaire for the Ace!Enjolras series. Also depending on how you see it the Jesus Christ Superstar is a joint effort with @shamedumpster, even if we are writing separately each bit.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Why don't you ask me to choose a favourite child? Might be easier!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

A rockstar AU where Courf is an aromantic Bowie stand-in and Marius is his main guitarist and fuckbuddy who gets too invested. I love it, but it's a longfic and I'm not good at sticking to those. (And also it's a Sad Ending rarepair fic. Who is going to read it?)

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at keeping people in their POVs and not slipping into omniscient narrators. Descriptions, too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I get stuck on logistics. Sometimes you just have to handwave shit, you know? People don't need to know when they put the cup down or the position of every guard.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

As someone who is always reading in a language that isn't mine, if I can read an entire fic in English, you can read two sentences in another language and their translation if it works for the character. My caveat to that is in Les Mis fics: do not suddenly have characters say five words in French if they're already all French. It just breaks the illusion that they were speaking French the whole time.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

And posted? Harry Potter. In general? Percival Christopher Wren's "Beau Geste". I hated the ending so much I wrote an entire Fix-It ending.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

"Still Crazy After All These Years", a Courferre second chance romance fic I wrote last year. It's a little more involved than I usually do, with a non-linear narrative and a non-linear writing process, and I think it turned out really well. I feel like the nuance of the situation was pretty well done, too.

Tagging @buffintruder, @quillsand, @shamedumpster and @enjolraspermettendo!

[tact-and-impulse]

Three Strands Part I

@shinkaneweek, thank you for the prompts! This is kind of inspired by a dream I had a long time ago, plus I don't think I've ever done this trope. Mild allusions to Psycho Pass: Providence, but nothing too spoilery, at least in this installment! On FF.net and AO3

A cord of three strands is not easily broken. - Ecclesiastes 4:12

part 1: perspective

To be fair, he had asked for this.

The hotel’s upscale interior reflected the owner’s taste for finery. Ornate chandeliers, polished mahogany tables, delicate porcelain dishes. Begrudgingly, Kougami had to admit the coffee was good. Next to him, Akane had finished her own cup. He was used to her Holo disguise now, her lighter and longer hair, though he still had to move carefully, to adjust for the slimmer physique of his own.

Across from them, the planner opened a book of color swatches, already blurring into a gradient. “Now, I will say that most women want to be a June bride, but do you have a preference?”

“Autumn is fine.” Akane said. “I have no issue with waiting.”

“And you, sir?”

Kougami tried not to jolt. “Sooner rather than later.”

“Eager, aren’t we? I’ll put you for October then. How lovely! A wedding among the maple trees.” Then, the conversation veered towards budget and packages, leaving Kougami to reflect on how exactly this situation had unfolded.

***

To him, the mission was clear; the hotel had to be investigated. On the surface, Yume appeared to be a quaintly run business, but it had once been run by a criminal now in custody and the building had changed hands quickly. Too quickly. The new proprietress was Yanase Juria, a confident woman who appeared younger than her forty years. And despite her glamorous image in surveillance footage, reports of illegal immigrant labor were deftly buried in her file. And under her direction, the newly branded logo was a three-tailed fox.

So, Foreign Affairs had to be involved, and they met with Public Safety to negotiate jurisdiction. Unit One was already in the meeting room, Akane the newest addition. It might have been a pleasant afternoon, except for the arrival of the new chief. The man was deft and calculating, steering the discussion in Public Safety’s favor.

“And on that matter, we need to decide who will be going undercover.” Homura smoothly said. “Since this is a collaboration between our departments, it would only be appropriate to have a representative from each. Statutory Enforcer Tsunemori will be ours.”

Hanashiro nodded. “Of course. As for our end-”

Time slowed. There were a number of Foreign Affairs employees, experienced with undercover jobs. He didn’t know whose name Hanashiro was going to say, who she was going to pair with Akane. But he interrupted anyway.

“I’ll do it.”

All heads had swiveled towards him, a mural of shock and surprise. It was obvious what they were thinking: really? He could have been blistered by Gino’s appalled aura, radiating from the next chair over, and Sugo’s discomfort was marked by a cough. In his peripheral vision, Homura was like a statue.

Shimotsuki could no longer suppress herself. “Haven’t you already created enough trouble for her? And have you ever worked undercover before?”

“Someone wise told me to expand my expertise. Why not this opportunity?” And that was true. Also, he didn’t trust anyone else with her safety.

Then, Akane spoke up, her gaze warm. “I don’t mind. I’d be happy to work with you again, Kougami-san.”

“Likewise.” He muttered and promptly forgot the rest of the meeting. Foreign Affairs would reconvene at headquarters, and he was bound to get an earful but he didn’t care.

Afterwards, he found her by a vending machine, grabbing a bottle of flavored water. He punched the buttons for his own drink. “I guess we’ll have to call often, make our cover.”

“Well, it helps that we know each other.” She wryly pointed out. “The best ones have a core of truth.”

“So…what are we?” Damn, that came out wrong.

Akane raised her eyebrows. “What would you like us to be?”

An answer came to mind, but he suppressed the thought. “We’ll have to fit in with the clientele, while keeping our story believable. A business trip may not buy us enough time.”

She opened her wrist device, searching through photos of the hotel. “They host a number of events. Graduations, retirement parties, weddings…”

As casually as he could muster, he said. “A wedding would give us an excuse, even reserve rooms.”

She looked at him, her lips curving upwards in agreement. “Yes, it would.”

“If we’re engaged, you’ll need a ring.”

“Oh.” She glanced down, extending her left fingers. “Right. I didn’t think about that.”

He took her hand, turning it over in his own. “Let’s find you something suitable.”

Her skin was soft, her pulse a quick rhythm. “I can always borrow from Shion-”

“No. It should be yours.” Before he could stop himself, his thumb ran over that space. A ruby for her name, set in a thin band…

The sound of approaching footsteps brought reality back, and they pulled away from each other.

“We can talk more later.” Her cheeks were pink.

“Sure. I’ll call you tonight.” And he walked off, scratching the back of his head, where it felt intensely warm. Posing as a couple getting married…wherever he was, Saiga-sensei was surely cackling.

***

They toured the reception halls first, while the planner dug for details about their backgrounds. Kougami gave brief responses about their jobs – he was freelance, she was in the Ministry of Health. They’d met at work. The planner wasn’t satisfied, asking how long they’d been together.

Akane easily replied. “Eight years. But we’ve been on and off until recently.”

He flashed a sharp look at that, but she ducked her head. Still, her hand entwined with his, and he immediately noticed the cool silver of her fake engagement ring. It really did look nice, better than he expected, and he squeezed tight.

“And now, I’m not letting her go.” He sensed her eyes now, but he refused to give in.

They walked on, and the flashy taste extended to each offering; they made noncommittal comments, it didn’t matter anyway. However, the planner seemed to sense their lack of enthusiasm, beckoning them to a Japanese style garden.

It was actually outdoors; the rocks and shrubs were real to the touch. Smooth ceramic tiles outlined a path over the gravel, to a rectangular patio framed by elegant maple and pine trees. A fountain burbled, trickling water through three stony pools. This side faced the mountains, and at dusk, the sun would burn in the distance. There was no pretense here.

“It’s beautiful.” Akane breathed, and she stepped towards the middle of the walkway. She gave a whirl, her skirt aloft for an instant, and asked. “Don’t you agree?”

He stared at her smile, and his traitorous imagination clothed her in a white kimono, a white gown, a veil unable to hide a radiant expression just for him. “Yeah. Beautiful.” And it didn’t feel like lying at all.

[sofya-fanfics]

You Are The Smartest Person I Know

Fandom : Spy x Family

Characters : The Forger Family

Prompt number : 5 - “You’re the smartest person I know.”

Rating : G

Warnings : None

My Fictober 2023 contribution.

I’m sorry for the mistakes, English is not my native language. I hope you like it.

Summary : Yor put the plates away after washing them, when she heard a loud sigh. She looked at Anya, who was sitting at the dining room table doing her homework. Her head was resting in her hands and her hair was falling in front of her face, preventing Yor from seeing if she was okay or not. She walked towards the dining room, worried.

Disclaimer : Spy x Family belongs to Tatsuya Endo.

@fictober-event

AO3 / FF.NET

Yor put the plates away after washing them, when she heard a loud sigh. She looked at Anya, who was sitting at the dining room table doing her homework. Her head was resting in her hands and her hair was falling in front of her face, preventing Yor from seeing if she was okay or not. She walked towards the dining room, worried.

“Anya ? Is everything alright ?”

Anya raised her head, she was on the verge of tears.

“I don’t understand it. I've been trying to do this exercise for almost an hour but I still don't understand !”

Yor rushed to her to comfort her. She hated seeing her like this. Each time, it broke her heart, even if it was because of an exercise she did not understand.

“What exercise is it ?”

“Math.”

Anya turned the book towards her and Yor frowned. Usually, it was Loid who helped her with math, but he had called them to tell them he would be home late from work. He had to take care of a difficult patient and he did not know when he was going to get back. It does not matter, Yor thought. She could help Anya. After all, it was an exercise for ten year olds, it should not have been very complicated. She took Anya's book and began to read the wording.

******

Yor crossed out what she had just written. She and Anya were surrounded by crumpled, crossed out, scribbled sheets of paper. She felt like all the numbers were mixed up in her head. How could an exercise for ten year olds be so difficult ? What were they teaching them at this academy ? She did not remember Yuri having such difficult homework. She heard Anya sobbing. Yor knew how important it was for Anya to succeed in her studies and she saw all the efforts she was making since she went to Eden. Yor took a deep breath. She had to keep calm for Anya.

“Haha, we won’t be able to do it ! It's too complicated !”

Yor straightened up, determined.

“Don’t worry. We will do it. We just have to reread the wording again.”

She read the exercise once again and do a calculation. Should she add or subtract ? She was so absorbed in the exercise that she did not hear the door open and Loid enter.

“Yor ? Is everything alright ?”

Yor looked at him on the verge of tears. She understood what Anya might be feeling.

“Loid !” She exclaimed.

Loid gestured for her to speak less loudly and pointed to Anya who was sound asleep on her notebook. Yor looked at the late hour and blamed herself for not having noticed that Anya had finally fallen asleep.

“What has happened ?” Loid asked as he approached.

He picked up a crumpled paper from the ground and unfolded it.

“I tried to help Anya with her homework, but it was a disaster.”

Loid sat down next to her. Tears ran down Yor's cheeks.

“I couldn’t even understand a primary school exercise. I'm really stupid.”

Yor sobbed, at her wits' end. Loid brought his chair closer to hers and took her hands. He hated it when she went herself down.

“You’re not stupid. Quite the opposite. You’re the smartest person I know.”

Without them realizing it, the two of them had moved closer. They were only a few inches apart. This was not the first time they were in this kind of situation, Yor noticed. And each time the desire to put her lips on his was stronger.

“Chichi, you’re home ?” Anya mumbled sleepily.

Yor and Loid moved away, both blushing. Loid cleared his throat and stood up.

“I’m going to go put Anya to bed,” he said. “Afterwards, we will try to solve this exercise together.”

He gently took Anya in his arms and took her to her bedroom. A huge smile lit up Yor's face. Whenever she felt like she was a disaster as a mother, Loid was there to comfort her. Thanks to him, she felt invincible and told herself that no math exercise could resist her.

The end

[seyaryminamoto]

The Shadows in her Reflection: Sokkla Saturdays 2023

Day 4: Summer

Rated: M

On FF.net//On AO3

"He ran off with her?! He… he wasn't her prisoner but her ally all along?!"

Zuko's temper flared at any given trigger, but Azula tended to be the worst of them all. Now, though, he was presented with a new challenge in the form of learning that Azula apparently had more unexpected support than ever before, in any of their clashes: it appeared that Sokka had revealed to Kuei that he had run off willingly with Azula from the very start…

And they had escaped together now, again, according to the guards who had found Azula's cell door had been busted. Zuko had no idea where they'd gone or why, exactly, they were running together in the first place. He had sent his guards to search for them, as had Kuei, but who knew if they'd come by any clues or not…

"I cannot understand it any more than you do! She has poisoned his mind somehow, manipulated him into thinking ill of his past allies, like me!" Kuei squealed. "I… I bet she seduced him! Women like her cannot be trusted to be above such practices…!"

"She… huh?! You're talking about my sister here!" Zuko seemed to be on the verge of throwing up at the very notion that whatever connection existed between his sister and his friend might be of a carnal nature… "She doesn't need to sleep with anyone to have her way!"

"But I bet it wouldn't hurt much, you know? If she did," Toph interjected, carelessly.

Zuko shot her a confused stare. She smiled at him, sensing she had his attention. They were still sitting in a Palace living room. Zuko's forces had already taken off to canvass the city's outskirts while Kuei's soldiers searched inside Ba Sing Se, looking for any tracks or signs of where Azula and Sokka had run to after breaking out of prison. But Toph betrayed no eagerness to track them down… something that hadn't truly sunken in on Zuko so far.

"I know you love making fun of me, Toph, but maybe it's not the right time for it right now," he said, shaking his head. "Azula isn't that kind of person, and I'd love to think Sokka wouldn't get swept up in something like that… I mean, isn't he with Suki?"

"Sounds like he's not, actually," Toph said. Zuko's eyes widened. "When we talked, it sounded like that's over. I figured he was cheating on her with Azula at first too, you know…"

"W-why would you…?! Hell, what's the matter with all of you?!" Zuko winced, glaring at Kuei too. "Azula doesn't think with… her loins? Ugh! I don't even want to think of it! Stop bringing that up, it makes me sick!"

"Oh, come on, Sparky… you don't have to be so prudish. Would it bug you that much if I told you that I'd gladly go wild on you if I had the chance?"

Both Zuko and Kuei froze on the spot. Toph smirked, hands behind her head: she was definitely making progress here. Enough progress to hopefully secure an escape for those two…

"T-the hell?" Zuko said: his heart was pounding. Oh, she almost felt bad for this, but it was even endearing to find the Fire Lord would get nervous that way over being at the receiving end of shameless, bold flirting.

"What'd you mean, 'the hell'? Aren't you supposed to be a catch?" Toph smiled. "I'd like to know why! And as I can't even see if you're handsome, whatever that even amounts to, to begin with, might as well just figure out why you're appealing the only way I can, right?"

"Y-you…! What? Toph…!"

"You, uh, could leave that odd flirting for later, couldn't you?" asked Kuei, clearly off-put by the conversation topic. Zuko's face couldn't have been redder.

"Why? Prude King," Toph smirked. "Big deal, if I want to bang my friend…"

"You don't! S-stop saying that! You're just trying to embarrass me!" Zuko exclaimed, a hand up his forehead: Toph's laughter certainly didn't help dissuade him from his convictions that she was merely teasing him. "Ugh! Back to the subject! How did they get out in the first place?!"

"Why, I wish I knew. He must have had some strange invention on him…" said Kuei, scowling. "Something with which he melted the door's lock from the outside, but… it's strange. They checked him thoroughly, and while he was wearing some Dai Li uniform that was entirely out of place, he wasn't concealing any secret weapons or so. I don't know…"

"Wait. The door's lock?" Zuko said, brow furrowing. "It was… tampered with? Damaged?"

"It was, indeed," Kuei said. "I… I'll go check out if anyone has any new leads, if you'd like. I never meant to lose her, but at this point…! Well, I'll make sure to catch her before she slips out of the city, promised thing!"

Zuko's eyebrow twitched, but he nodded at Kuei: something had changed in him. Something dark, and swirling, and…

And that he meant to unleash upon his friend, once Kuei had left the room.

"Toph…" he said, with a fist tight, as he stepped close to her. She bit her lip. "The lock was… busted?"

"You know… I've held a torch for you since we were kids," Toph started saying, toying with a strand of her hair carelessly. Zuko's face contorted with frustration and outrage. "I don't know what it was, maybe the sound of your voice, or…"

"Toph! Did you break her out yourself?!"

Toph bit her lip… before nodding, a wicked smirk across her features. Zuko's jaw dropped.

"Why? Why?! Toph…!"

"I'll explain one day, maybe, but for now… you have your hands full trying to catch them as it is, don't you? What does it matter, why I did it or why I didn't…?"

"It's bad enough for Sokka to be in her pocket! You too?!" Zuko exclaimed, striking the wall right beside Toph with a spread palm. He glared at her closely, and she didn't even flinch.

"You know… this is how they started out, too," Toph smirked. "I helped him, even then. Pinned her to a wall for him, so he could get all close and personal with her, in the tunnels during the Invasion… nice of you to do the same thing. Here I thought I was the only one interested, but I guess I'm not."

Zuko gritted his teeth: he impulsively wanted to pull back, just to flee from her wild accusations or claims… but he couldn't afford to stop challenging her this time. Instead, he leaned closer still, as though to call her bluff – and perhaps it really was one, because she seemed slightly uncomfortable when he failed to run away bashfully, for once, before speaking with a deep, stern, authoritarian voice:

"Why did you do it… and where the hell did they go, Toph? Where the blazes is my sister?"

Toph breathed deeply: disquieting as his stubbornness might be, she didn't back down from challenges, not without issuing one of her own.

"Just what are you willing to do to find out, Zuko?"

___________________

Fleeing from Fire Nation soldiers certainly was something Sokka and Azula had in common, even if they'd never done it together: she used to be the one hunting him, back in the days of the war, and then she was the one who fled from her brother's forces, after the war ended…

Winding up dangling on a rope, under a bridge, holding onto Sokka for dear life as the troops struggled to find them, on the suspended bridge over a tall cliff, came as a surprise even when their circumstances had changed as much as they had recently. After going on the road again, bereft of the hot-air balloon they hadn't had the chance to retrieve, the pair were left with no choice but to run on foot… and that meant dodging and avoiding patrols from either the Earth Kingdom or the Fire Nation. This time, it was the latter.

"Where did they go?! They came right here!" screamed one of the soldiers, stomping on the bridge: it shifted, and Azula gritted her teeth as she pressed tighter to Sokka still: if they fell, they'd fall together. He was holding her firmly with one arm as the other grabbed the rope, which he had fastened over his wrist multiple times. It would hurt to hold their weight for that long… but the bastards had to leave soon. They had to go. They wouldn't stay on the bridge forever…

"Maybe they jumped, sir?" suggested a nervous soldier.

"Into the river, from this distance?" asked the leader: he scowled as he scrutinized the stream, so far away, so far below them… there was no sign of the people they were hunting there.

He snarled, shaking his head: it was their only lead. Maybe the river moved faster than it looked.

"Let's go! Follow the river, then!"

Azula gritted her teeth, remaining as quiet as possible as the bridge creaked under the heavy footsteps of all their pursuers. Sokka breathed deeply, waiting patiently even after they left… the bridge was broad enough that they hadn't been seen, but if they climbed out right away and any of the soldiers dared glance back at them, things would likely turn out a lot more unpleasant than they already were…

He glanced down at Azula, offering her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. She didn't grin back, though her eyes were aglow with unspoken gratitude for his quick plan: she had no idea what he was doing when he pulled out that rope, but when he told her to trust him and gripped her tightly, she hadn't hesitated to do that.

Trust… it was so strange, finding someone she actually trusted now. The feeling was foreign, but greatly welcome, nonetheless. It truly surprised her how clearer everything became, how much smoother… how she hardly felt out of place in the world as long as someone actually wanted her to be part of it, as Sokka did.

"Guess that worked?" Sokka said. Azula swallowed hard and nodded, though she angled her head away from his: the temptation to kiss him would arise again if she stared at his damn handsome face for a moment longer.

"You're resourceful, that much is true," Azula said. "Weird, truly, to be hunted by the Fire Nation along with someone else with that much experience fleeing from them…"

"Used to flee from you. And Zuko," Sokka said, with a weak grin. "I don't mind running from him still… but I won't run from you. Not anymore."

Azula couldn't hold back a small smile, even if it faded quickly: the weight of the mirror in her pocket spoke for itself. Sokka ought to know better than to flirt with her at all, but the jerk never seemed to stop… and he did it in such a good-mannered way that she couldn't help but be drawn in. If he were mischievous, she wouldn't feel any less appealed… but she gravitated towards his kindness, even if she hardly felt worthy of it. If she dared act on her impulses, she'd fully prove she wasn't, too.

"Should we…?" Azula asked, jerking her head at the bridge. Sokka nodded.

"They should be too far to see us now," he said.

He helped Azula climb back on the bridge, a slightly awkward process in which she used his boomerang to reach the edge of the bridge and balance herself on it to climb up. Then, she reached out for Sokka, and she clasped his hand firmly as she pulled him up too. Within moments, Sokka undid the strong knots on the rope that had ensured their survival and they rushed away anew, in the opposite direction from the soldiers had disappeared through.

They found a cave to rest in after another half hour, but they had plenty to discuss, this time around.

"As much as I enjoy dangling on bridges with you, we have to make up our minds about where we're going," Sokka said. "And how we're getting there. What's next for Yue? What does she want us to do?"

"Didn't we agree that you would be the one to choose this time?" Azula pointed out. Sokka's eyes widened.

"Oh, uh… right. Well, anything that's fine with her is fine with me," Sokka concluded, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. "Can't really say I have huge plans on where to go right now, so… unless she chooses something I really don't like this time, anything's good."

"If you say so…" Azula said, pulling up the mirror. Yue smiled warmly at her, and Azula raised an eyebrow. "What's next on the wish list, then? Got anything in mind?"

"Huh… well, Ba Sing Se was fun," Yue started, and Azula scoffed at the notion.

"Define 'fun,' if you please…"

"But I guess it might be a good idea to go elsewhere now. I did want to see the seasons, and we saw spring, so… the next one is summer!"

"Yue, you can't just force the seasons to happen whenever you want them to," Azula sighed. "It's still about a month before summer starts in the south. And frankly, we're going to be hounded and hunted in the Earth Kingdom far more persistently now. Might be better to go elsewhere."

"Wait… she wants to see summer?" Sokka asked, raising his eyebrows. "Well, that's doable."

"What?" Azula eyed him skeptically.

"There's this tropical nation I know about, you know? Where it's basically summer all year long?" Sokka asked, with a smirk.

Azula's eyes widened. She scoffed, shaking her head.

"Yue's been in the Fire Nation before. That's where she first latched onto me, remember?"

"But you were on the run. I didn't get to see all the sights!"

"Oh, so now we're picky, are we?" Azula scoffed. Yue giggled.

"I want to see more of your nation. Sokka is right, it's the land of summer! So… take me to the beach!"

"The beach?" Azula repeated, with a heavy sigh. "You're whimsical, that's for sure. As royal as can be, making that kind of request…"

"Ember Island had some really good beaches," Sokka reasoned, tapping the stubble on his chin. Azula winced.

"Ember Island?" she repeated. "It's also a great place to fuck with someone's head."

"You've been a frequent visitor, I take it?" Sokka asked. Azula scoffed.

"Unfortunately," she said. "My parents brought me there constantly when I was a child…"

"Oh, yeah. Zuko mentioned! I actually stayed in that house of yours, back in the times of the war?" Sokka said. "Zuko's done some repairs, I think. Might not be all complete yet, but it's probably looking better than whatever you remember of it."

"I'd gladly remember nothing of it," Azula sighed. "It can be worse to think of easier times. Can't help but wonder where I went wrong back when I was younger, you know? If I did anything so stupid as a child that it resulted in… well, every member of my family despising me. Maybe I'm just overthinking it, though. Must be the things I did later…"

"Well… your father's a piece of shit," Sokka said. Azula winced upon hearing him say so. "So, I doubt you're to blame for how he treated you."

"He praised and doted on me. Believed I was fated for greatness," Azula said. Sokka sighed.

"Maybe you are. Just… not the greatness he put into your head," he said.

"I doubt he was right about it anyway," Azula said, shaking her head. "If any of this is fate… maybe I'm just fated to be a mess."

"You're not that much of one, even if you try to convince yourself otherwise," Sokka said, with a gentle smile.

Azula scoffed: she shook her head carelessly, at first just to refuse his words… then, to make her hair a chaotic disaster, standing in wild directions, strands flying back and forth. Then, she stared at the amused Sokka matter-of-factly.

"Convinced yet?" she asked. He laughed, shaking his head.

She had only been teasing him, but she wound up smiling regardless. She looked at the mirror again, set on the floor as it was, and Yue giggled at the sight of her unkempt hair.

"It's not that bad, now, is it, Yue?" Azula asked.

"You look funny."

"Funny? Well, that's just offensive," Azula said, with a scoff.

"I… never really did anything like that. You know, just… loosening up my hair to see what it was like."

"Ah, well, I recommend it," Azula said. "Nothing better to convince your advocates that they're betting on the wrong ostrich horse than having a bad hair day. Not that Sokka would know anything about that, feels like he doesn't have any bad hair days…"

"You'd be shocked," Sokka smiled. Azula scoffed, looking at him derisively. "For real!"

"Nonsense. Yue and I, we understand each other in that respect. You have no say upon the matter," she declared, haughtily. Sokka chuckled and shook his head again.

"Maybe… I could try it?"

Azula blinked blankly before Yue bit her lip, raising a hand towards the adornments of her hair. A fair amount of it was loose… but not all of it. Twin braids ran together down either side of her face, and there was a complicated accessory that held it together in two different branches right at the back…

She started loosening everything, undoing every tangle of hair, an eager look on her face as her white hair slowly unfurled. Azula smirked at the sight of it, watching intently as Yue struggled with the trickier tangles… until, at last, all her white hair – and there was a lot of it – fell in careless waves around her face.

"There!" she said, enthusiastically. Azula chuckled.

"Mess it now. Shake your head like there's no tomorrow!" she said. Yue bit her lip, a giggle slipping past her lips before she followed Azula's suggestion.

The result had both Azula and Yue laughing at the chaos of unruly hair. Neither one was more presentable than the other… a notion entirely wild and foreign for the two princesses.

"Looks better on you than on me. See? Why be the perfect Moon Spirit when you can be a messy one instead?" Azula smiled. Yue giggled, running a hand through her tresses.

"It's going to be difficult to put it back together," she confessed. "But that was fun. Do you… mess your hair often?"

"I try not to. It becomes unruly too quickly," Azula said, running a hand over her hair to tame it too.

"Well… we have one more thing in common, then. The messy-haired royals," Yue giggled. Azula smiled.

"The Royally Unkempt," she concluded, and Yue burst out with laughter. "Fitting, truly… save for him. Curses, Sokka, you just sabotage all our team-naming efforts, you…"

He smiled at her with a fondness that caught Azula off guard. A part of her welcomed being watched with such warmth… just as she felt terribly self-aware about it, while Yue was right there.

"What?" Azula mouthed at him. Sokka shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess… I'm just happy to see you two are good friends," he said. Azula's eyes widened, and Yue grinned brightly in the mirror.

"I'm happy for it too. I… I don't think I'd ever had a female friend like this before."

"Well, you'd never had a friend to communicate with through mirrors or reflective surfaces, so that's for sure," Azula said, matter-of-factly… but she frowned at Yue anyway. "But… you didn't have friends, in the Northern Water Tribe?"

"I'm afraid I was a little isolated. Princess, after all… I didn't go to school like other kids my age. I barely knew any of them."

Azula frowned upon hearing those words. She ran her hand over her hair once more, an uncanny urge to reach trough the mirror to comfort the other royal suddenly blooming in her heart.

"Guess… guess we have more in common than we thought. Though I did have friends… just, not very good ones," Azula said, with a lop-sided smirk. "Then again, they'd say the same thing right back at me, but what can you do. I always did feel isolated as well. And after everything fell apart, well… it was as though I'd been alone all my life. Maybe… you felt that way, too?"

"A little. Memories helped, at times, but… being the Moon Spirit is lonely."

Azula grimaced: for once, the thought that Yue might have reached out desperately, as good throwing a line into the sea in the hopes of finding someone, anyone to talk to, crossed her mind. Was that, maybe, why she was so good-natured? Why she constantly seemed impressed by Azula? Had she latched onto her for greater reasons than the apparent…?

"Well… you're stuck with me now," Azula said, with a small smile. "For better or for worse, you're not alone anymore."

Her words struck Sokka deeply: not only because of Yue's loneliness, which he certainly felt no small amounts of guilt over, even if he hoped he and Azula might have helped Yue stem the feeling lately… but because the Fire Nation Princess had experienced no shortage of loneliness. Yet, precisely because she had, she was finally finding it in her to relate to Yue… wanting to do right by her. To help her fight her loneliness, and perhaps, find a solution for her own in the process, too.

"And what's the matter with you?"

Sokka winced: he dabbed at the tear that slipped past his eyes and he laughed, shaking his head.

"Nothing. I'm fine, I'm fine…"

"Is it so moving to see my hair being such a weird, wild mess?" Azula asked, shaking her head carelessly again – Yue laughed at her behavior, and Sokka rolled his eyes before shaking his head.

"You know what? You've asked for it. I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry, Yue! You'll be messy haired buddies again later, but right now…"

Yue hummed in surprise as Azula winced at Sokka's words: he pulled a brush out of his pack, and he approached her with a wicked smirk.

"Time to style your hair again, silly. Come on."

She sighed, letting him get away with that for the second time. Yue had a perfect view of the process, chuckling as Azula groaned over how much of a worrywart and a party-pooper Sokka dared be… but instead of focusing solely on that, she turned her attention to what actually mattered:

"Are you two sure you want to go to Ember Island?" she asked.

"I wouldn't say I'm sure-sure, but… you did say it was my turn to choose. So that'd be my pick, if Yue's happy with it," Sokka grinned carelessly. Azula sighed.

"Annoying. I hope you're not just expecting to… uh, perv out at random girls in swimsuits."

"Pfft! I'm a gentleman! I wouldn't do that!" he squeaked.

"He's lying, Yue. He's totally going to do exactly that," Azula smirked.

"Hey!"

Yue laughed, covering her mouth with a hand. Azula smiled warmly at her, but her grin receded when the Moon Spirit countered with a rather surprising statement.

"Maybe he's telling a half-truth… maybe he won't do it over every girl, but he might just do it over you!"

"He… what?! Don't say that!" Azula winced: she hated to see herself blushing as Yue giggled in the mirror.

"You are very beautiful. He'd have to be blind not to see it… and it's his friend who's blind, not him, right?"

"I… don't understand what's gotten into you," Azula said, bashfully: Sokka was almost done taming her hair by then.

"Is she saying you're the one who'll perv out at people in swimsuits, or…?"

His guess earned him an elbow to the ribs, but he rolled with laughter on the floor after taking the blow, nonetheless.

"Idiot. You're both weird," Azula growled, cheeks alight with embarrassment. "And I'd elbow your ribs too, Yue, but… you know. I can't physically. Just imagine the pain and live with the shame."

"Oh, I'll try," Yue laughed, nodding promptly.

"This being said… while it's summer all year long in the Fire Nation, it's going to be difficult to get there," Azula pointed out.

"Well, it wouldn't be easy, no… but there's a good reason to go right now. If Zuko could send his troops to hunt us as fast as that, doesn't that mean he's around here lately?" Sokka said. Azula raised an eyebrow.

"He… was in Ba Sing Se?" Azula said. "Huh. Then, if he's here… we have the way clear to the Fire Nation, at least, for a while. Ember Island isn't my usual area of operations, it might not be as protected as other cities…"

"See? It's not that bad if we're careful," Sokka grinned.

"We're not returning to the city to get the hot-air balloon, are we?" Azula asked.

"Oh, no. Too risky. Just as it was risky to fly out on it, they might have taken us down if they were watching for us by the walls," Sokka said. Azula sighed.

"Then what are we going to do? Do you have custody over the shaggy beast anytime soon?" she asked. Sokka snorted.

"That's not how that works, so no. But… hot-air balloons, you say?"

"We can't get it back and stealing another one's going to be…"

"I didn't say anything about stealing."

Azula frowned. Sokka smiled as he sat up, a proud smirk spreading over his face – Azula's damn stomach somersaulted over that confident expression on his features.

"I know a guy," he said, proudly.

"Again? Who?" Azula raised an eyebrow.

"Literally, the inventor of the balloons. If you'd like to know… I actually had a hand in their development and design, back in the days of the war."

"You… you're pulling my hair," Azula smiled.

"I'm done brushing it, so clearly, I'm not pulling it anymore," Sokka smirked. Azula rolled her eyes, but she failed to contain a chuckle. "Heh. You laughed."

"Fuck off," was her eloquent response, to which he laughed even harder. "You're serious? You can get us a hot-air balloon?"

"Problem is they'll know where we're going even if I do get it," Sokka reasoned, frowning. "We're close to where he lives these days, after he left the Northern Air Temple. I could go there, ask for a balloon, he most likely will give me one to borrow… and then we'll be very easy to track for your brother's forces."

"Not necessarily," Azula reasoned, raising an eyebrow. "Not if we… split up."

"What?" Sokka winced, his amusement receding.

"Just for a few days. Goodness, you're that worried about not being near me nowadays? That's terribly clingy of you," Azula smirked. "I could misdirect them away from you and the inventor. The Mechanist, right? Same one who made the Drill…"

"That's the guy," Sokka confirmed.

"If I flashily use my blue fire to lure them southeast… you can collect that balloon, then snatch me up one night, maybe, around the Fighting Cliffs," Azula said. "You know, the mountains right below Ba Sing Se? If we time it right, if you don't even land, they shouldn't notice the balloon at all and they won't know where we went. Will take a while for them to realize what we're doing… and if we need supplies, be it coal or food, we'll be free to land to get them once we're far away from Ba Sing Se. At least, far enough that word wouldn't travel quickly to Zuko and Kuei even if someone recognizes either of us all the way over there."

"That's… a good plan," Sokka said, begrudgingly. "But I would rather not leave you anyway."

"Don't be so silly," Azula smiled at him. "You'll be stuck with me in a balloon for weeks afterwards. Take this as a well-deserved respite from me."

What she didn't know was that Sokka actually didn't want a break from her at all… a notion that caught him by surprise as she continued lining out their plans. The urge to take her hand and not let it go should not have been so overwhelming… but it was, somehow. He had to put his everything into not telling her as much, into not acting on that impulse, as he agreed to her strategies.

Thus, a few hours later, she took off carelessly, carrying her pack, undoubtedly ready to bring about as much attention to herself as possible. Sokka sighed as he watched her leave, a burst of loneliness striking him so abruptly… since when was he so prone to missing people's company? Or was it just… her?

He shook his head and set out to the Mechanist's new home: the sooner he arrived, the faster he would be back with Azula.

The jolly inventor welcomed him gratefully into the small town he had taken residence at, and he provided him with supplies and a stylish hot-air balloon, with the latest upgrades to its design. Sokka offered him no end of gratitude before climbing aboard, relieved to sort out that predicament quickly enough. The plan was proceeding perfectly smoothly for him… and after three days apart from Azula, which was how long it had taken him to reach the Mechanist's home, he was more than ready to come find her.

He succeeded a day and a half later: by nightfall, he steered the hot-air balloon to one of the tallest peaks of the Fighting Cliffs to find Azula resting there, holding the mirror in one hand. Sokka smiled fondly at her before loosening his rope, lightly brushing it over her face until the discomfort caused her to snap awake, scowling…

Her eyes brightened visibly once she saw Sokka had returned.

"Been a while," Sokka smiled. "Ready?"

She couldn't help but grin too as she handed him her bags, first: he opened the balloon's basket, reaching down to hoist Azula aboard without landing at all, just as planned.

"Everything went swimmingly, I take it?" Azula asked: she hadn't let go of his hand yet after boarding, and that didn't bother him one bit. "This balloon is… nice, actually. More spacious, too."

"A new model," Sokka grinned. "More aerodynamic, from what he told me. We'll get there in no time."

"Then… go on and dazzle us with your piloting skills, why don't you?" Azula smiled: she set the mirror up on one of the available seats, as she sat down as well, and Yue smiled eagerly at the grand hot-air balloon… at the chance to see Sokka at work, handling the vehicle expertly once more.

The journey was faster this time, as they had enough supplies not to need to land at all until they reached Ember Island. Their time aloft in the sky proved amenable too, as they talked about just anything and everything, sharing stories about the war that startled and amazed Yue alike. Their strange journey, and the banter they shared, was proving enough to bring Azula to smile more honestly, more earnestly, than she had in years.

She'd sleep while cradling the mirror sometimes, and she even dozed off with her head on Sokka's lap once, the mirror resting on her chest. It almost felt as though the two girls were asleep… and it warmed Sokka's heart to feel the connection between them growing stronger than ever. Where Azula had been openly hostile and reluctant to host Yue at all, at first… by now, he had no doubts she had grown to fully, earnestly cherish her connection to the Moon Spirit. Instead of Azula being an outsider, in between him and Yue when she didn't belong there, now it was Sokka, instead, who appeared to be the odd one out…

And he actually kind of liked that.

He couldn't truly communicate with Yue, even if she could hear him and see him, as long as he was within her reflection's line of sight. But the more time went on, the less he longed to speak with her directly, to interact with her as Azula did… because Azula was there. That was Azula's role. Yue had never had friends before… not truly, not the way she did now, with Azula. He didn't want to be the only important, valuable person in Yue's life… and the more he grew to treasure Azula, the more he hoped she would be even more important for the Northern Water Tribe Princess than he ever had been. The two of them were so different, starkly so… but he had the feeling that Yue's influence on Azula was even more powerful than his own could ever hope to be. She inspired Azula to do better, to be better… to find joy and bliss in the simplest pleasures of life. Instead of locking her up, instead of hounding her and chasing her down… maybe that was what Azula needed, instead. A friend who would show her there was so much more worth in living life freely than by serving some old fart's wretched designs for nationalism, social superiority and Fire Nation control over the entire world.

Perhaps she'd go back to old habits once they reached her homeland, Sokka figured… but as they began their descent on Ember Island, a week later, the Princess's demeanor didn't change in any worrisome manner as she eyed the island with uncertainty.

"Is it…?" she started, running a hand over her hair. "What day is it, Sokka?"

"Uh, I've kind of lost track of time, so… no real clue," he smiled awkwardly.

"I think… we've arrived at a strange time in this damn island. I don't think I've ever been here for this before," Azula said, eyeing the place with uncertainty.

"It looks like… there's a procession across the streets? A celebration?" Sokka asked, intrigued. "What's that about?"

"It's… a celebration, yes," Azula said, tense. "A slightly less dignified one than most of what you might have heard about in the Fire Nation, though."

"What?" Sokka asked, amused. "That sounds dangerous… or amusing."

"Might be both," Azula said, with a dry grin. "It's a yearly tradition, particularly noisy and messy, in Ember Island. Lots of drinking, lots of gambling, firebending accidents…"

"What? What are they celebrating, exactly?" Sokka asked, confused.

"Uh, well, the technical, traditional explanation is found in the legend of the volcano from which the Fire Nation spawned?" Azula said, biting her lip. "And of course, Ember Island has a small volcano around which people convene, firebenders launch fire into the dormant volcano, as a manner of tribute to the land for giving us everything it has. It's… a celebration of life, you could call it?"

"Heh. Sounds fun," Sokka smiled. Azula bit her lip.

"Of course, well, celebrations of life tend to be a little… peculiar," she said. Sokka crooked an eyebrow. "By which I mean, well, people aren't simply going to chant songs and run around the island happily, they're going to, uh…"

"To…?"

"Create more life?"

Sokka's eyes widened. Azula's cheeks flushed.

"… This is a fertility festival," he concluded. Azula gritted her teeth.

"You know, we could always turn back," she suggested, with a dry grin. "Go to another island, where they don't celebrate this at all, and come back in a couple of days instead. That might just be…"

"I want to see it!"

Yue's sudden declaration caused Azula to wince and snarl. She turned towards the mirror, finding the eagerly smiling teenage princess closer to the mirror than ever before…

"It sounds like such a lively event!"

"Yue, half the people are going to be drunk, and the other half will be horny, some will very much be both things at once. I don't think you…"

"Well, it's still early. We can see everything before it comes to that!" Yue beamed. Azula huffed, and Sokka chuckled.

"The Water Tribes have some rites of this nature, you know? But probably none like this," he said, patting Azula's back. "Can't blame Yue for wanting to see it. I'm a little curious, myself. You and your people always prided yourselves on being oh so advanced and modern…"

"Well, I'm afraid we're not quite so modern yet that we'd know how to procreate with anything but sex," Azula said, cheeks flushing upon speaking of the subject as she did. Sokka laughed. "Either way, if you two are quite sure about what you want, fine. But… be careful, Sokka. Desperate girls might throw themselves at you if you're not."

"No worries, I'll just… stick with you," Sokka smiled. Azula blushed. "If anyone tries, I'll just say I'm with you and they'll back off."

"Hopefully," Azula said, cheeks red: it wasn't a lie, he truly had come with her… but evidently, he'd say the words to imply there was a relationship between them that didn't actually exist. As far as she knew.

She glanced at Yue in the mirror, finding her grinning eagerly. Azula swallowed hard: she wasn't about to do something stupid that could hurt the girl. And she wouldn't let Sokka do that, either. They'd be distant witnesses to the damn festival, that was that.

After safely tucking their balloon away in the Royal Family's private beach, they left their luggage in the house that, to Azula's surprise, appeared to be far more livable than it had been in her last visit. They cleaned up after the long journey, changing into fresh and light clothes, and they took off together to check out the sights in the island while showing as much of it as they could to the eager, delighted Yue.

The warm weather didn't disappoint, for they were drenched in sweat simply by walking down the streets. That moist heat of summer always compelled Azula to wish she could jump into the water, hoping the sea would ease the high temperatures slightly. The tall palm trees, the chirping of insects… she described that which Yue couldn't see or hear, while showing her as much of the colorful island to the Moon Spirit as possible through the limitations of the mirror.

They were immediately assailed by the salesmen from the stalls once they entered Ember Island's main streets, most of whom were eager to sell aphrodisiacs or even accessories for sexual purposes, most of which Azula didn't even dare guess the use of. She clasped Sokka's arm, reassuringly smiling at the sellers that they were just sightseeing, and she dragged him away quickly before he got any wild ideas in his head about any of the lotions, oils or harnesses some of those stalls were eager to sell to shameless customers.

"This is unreal. I'd heard it was messed up, but… it's weirder than I thought," Azula said. Sokka chuckled.

"I can't help but think it's kind of funny. I thought your people were very repressed about a lot of things… but not this, sounds like," he said.

"Honestly? This festival wasn't banned because it had a purpose in the times of the war: if you make your people procreate more, you get more soldiers to send out to war. It's bound to be the only reason why my forefathers didn't outlaw it as a crime against public order and morals," Azula explained, glancing about herself. "But… actually, there ought to be one area that's not so raunchy!"

She dragged Sokka eagerly in that direction to find foods that weren't being advertised for their sexual potential: there was even a small puppet play, where the children could witness the story of the volcano without any implications regarding how most fully-grown people actually celebrated this strange festival. They found something to eat there, and they rejoiced far more in the family-friendly activities than in looking for anything strange to spice up the bedroom life they didn't actually have.

But there was one particular stall that caught Azula's eye once they paced through less busy streets, by midafternoon. A woman in perfectly sober, proper clothes, sat with a disgruntled expression in a stall that nobody appeared to want to approach: 'Public Morals Protection Stall.'

"You! You two! Come, come, come quickly!" the woman exclaimed, startling them once she noticed they were staring.

"Uh… what's this?" Sokka smiled awkwardly as he obeyed her command.

The woman didn't answer him: instead, she stuffed his hands with a surprising assortment of objects with purposes he couldn't even fathom.

"At the very least, you two shall be safe!" the woman almost squealed, startling Azula with her passionate declaration. "Safe intercourse is possible! But these imbeciles…!"

"W-wait… safe? What do you mean by that?" Azula smiled awkwardly.

"I mean your husband there is holding a good assortment of measures to prevent pregnancy and diseases when you happen to copulate," the woman said: both Azula and Sokka winced upon hearing her declaration.

"W-wait, we're not… I mean, we're not exactly married?" Sokka said, with a weak smile. The woman yelped.

"All the more reason for you to use them!"

"What?!"

"If you're not married you should not be procreating and having children yet! Get married before you even start! Don't be like the rest of these fools who… who just keep making sure that this island thrives in countless, thousands, millions of babies...!"

"I'm quite sure there can't even be a million people living in this island, let alone a million babies…"

"There will be soon, when these fools have their way!" the woman exclaimed, shaking her head. "You have no idea how many girls will turn up two months from now in the sanatorium, having broken up with their mediocre boyfriends, begging for help with… well, reversing pregnancy."

"Oh," Sokka said, eyes wide.

"And do you even realize that the most common months for children to be born in our island are the tenth and eleventh months?! It's like a perpetual birthday celebration in every family!" the woman exclaimed, exasperated. "Care to guess why?"

"Because… this is the second month, and everyone procreates around the time of the festival?" Sokka smiled awkwardly.

"A smart lad indeed! See, you'll use protection for sure, yes you will!" the woman exclaimed, finally smiling proudly at him. Sokka's cheeks couldn't have been redder.

Then, she proceeded to explain the use of each of the objects and gadgets she'd given Sokka, including a manner of thin membranes he would be expected to wrap around his manhood, fruits that could affect male sperm and render its components temporarily inert, as well as seeds Azula would be expected to eat, or boil into tea, to prevent herself from conceiving any children. A few of the products were medicine in case of infections or diseases caught after the fact, too. The woman was delighted to hand them everything she did, free of charge, no doubt desperate to spread awareness to the rest of the island that there were far more responsible ways to indulge in their fun… but unfortunately, it looked like only a handful of people were willing to listen.

Sokka and Azula ambled out of that particular street five minutes later, winding up taking a corner quickly and hiding there with their load of new goods. They glanced at each other in surreal disbelief… and then they burst out laughing. Azula supported herself on his arm, as Sokka rested against the wall of a building, tears blinking in the corners of his eyes.

"That poor woman…!" he said.

"Let's hope her wisdom spreads one day… but with this kind of reckless crowd, I wouldn't bet my money on that," Azula said, wiping the tears in her own, too.

"Say… the stalls are pretty fun, but maybe we should do what we came here for," Sokka smiled, nudging Azula's pocket: Yue's mirror rested there. "Didn't she say she wanted to go to the beach?"

"Well, she did, but… I'm not exactly dressed for it, am I?" Azula said, tugging at her Earth Kingdom clothes. Sokka smirked.

"We can buy some new clothes for it now! There's stalls for that, too!" he exclaimed. Azula sighed.

"You love shopping far too much for your own good," Azula determined. Sokka snickered, leading her back into the streets.

An hour later, they had returned to the house with the results of that day's outing. They left their haul of equipment for responsible sex on a table by the living room, and they changed out of their casual Earth Kingdom clothes into classic Fire Nation garb. It struck Azula how long she had gone without wearing anything quite as bold as a swimsuit… all her last Fire Nation attires had been sober and formal, or combat-oriented. There was a tall mirror within the bathroom where she changed, and she blushed slightly upon realizing that a sneaky Moon Spirit was glancing at her with appreciative, raised eyebrows.

"Is it too bold?" Azula asked Yue, her voice deadpan and dry. Yue bit her lip, failing to stifle a mischievous smile.

"Bolder than anything you've worn around me. But you look amazing!" she exclaimed, beaming. "You really are beautiful, Azula."

"I don't feel beautiful, most days," Azula sighed, running her hand over her hair… finding she might actually not be so hard to convince of that right now. Staring at herself just now wasn't as unnerving, unpleasant, as it typically was…

Was she finding some peace with herself? Some manner of tranquility she hadn't really experienced for years, if ever before? It was still difficult to fathom thinking of herself as beautiful… but she'd have to try. At least, Sokka and Yue appeared to be visually impaired enough to think so…

"Are you okay with this?" Azula asked Yue. "I mean… me being around the guy you like, dressed like this? Or, uh, undressed, because honestly it almost feels like I'm not wearing anything, in this thing…"

"Why… I don't have anything to worry about," Yue smiled warmly. "I'm sure he'll be happy to see you enjoying yourself in the beach too!"

"Uh… hopefully. Maybe," Azula said, swallowing hard and breathing out heavily. "Okay, then. Fine. If he ends up being a perv and a creep or so, you'll have yourself to blame for pushing me at him."

"What? Sokka isn't either of those things!"

"We'll see about that," Azula smirked slightly. "You should get some, uh, spirit swimsuit of your own. You're bound to reflect on the waves, you know?"

"Oh… maybe. But probably only if they don't move around too much," Yue smiled awkwardly. "But I'll be fine like this. I approached Aang once when he was in the ocean, you know? And I didn't dress any differently than I do right now."

"Heh, fair enough," Azula shrugged, shaking her head. "Anyways… let's get going."

She wore a sarong over her waist that would at least conceal most her legs from ogling gazes. Not that she expected to draw many of those… but Sokka did say she was beautiful. Perhaps she really should cover up her torso further… who knew what Sokka might react more to, anyway? He'd see a lot of her skin, more than he ever had before… she needed to stop feeling self-aware about that, she really did.

She marched out of the bathroom to find Sokka standing by the living room table, still checking out the birth control and safe sex supplies, with a slight smirk on his face…

But she couldn't really register the expression when her eyes were entirely enticed by his strong, broad and muscular back.

"Oh! You're… b-back."

They froze for a moment, gaping at each other. Awkwardness settled between them as they took in the other, the bare chest Sokka presented for Azula – curses, he had grown far too fit in his adulthood – and the smooth abdomen she showed off before him – the dip of her hipbones, hiding under that skirt, sent his mind flying in some rather raunchy directions…

But they reeled it in. They reeled themselves in. They blushed, recognizing each other's interest… and stashing it aside. It wasn't the time for that.

"I've got the mirror here," Azula said, showing Sokka at Yue, as though that would suffice to remind him that she wasn't supposed to be his. At least… not yet. Not until Yue's situation was sorted out and they could take their time to figure out what to do with what was brewing between them.

Though, unfortunately, that resolve was slightly more difficult to stand by now than it ever had been…

"Right. Right," Sokka said, waving at Yue. "Hope I'm not too gross nowadays, compared to what I used to look like…"

"Gross?" Azula repeated. Sokka shrugged.

"She never did see me without a shirt, true, but… she's still sixteen," Sokka smiled awkwardly. "Might be I'm not exactly appealing to her right now."

Well, if Yue wanted to skip on that, Azula certainly would be happy to take over in her stead… 'gross', of all words, wasn't how she'd describe his surprisingly alluring body. She truly wanted to reach out to touch him and… and she wouldn't do that. She couldn't do that. She refused to do it at all.

Yue in the mirror, however, giggled and startled Azula. The Princess glanced at her to find the Moon Spirit smiling brightly in Sokka's direction.

"You really did grow up to be so handsome, Sokka," she said, beaming. "I… I hope you two can swim a lot! And maybe build a sandcastle? That's what people do in beaches, right?"

"Well, you can tell us what you want us to do, and we will," Azula said, with a careless shrug. Yue clapped happily.

"Then… a sandcastle!"

Yue's request proved tricky to fulfill: Sokka's ability to work with sand was astonishingly poor, to Azula's utter amusement. They discussed the possibility of heading out to the public beach, but instead, they stayed in the private one by the Fire Lord's villa, for it would be safer. Talking to Yue would draw less confused stares that way. It also meant that Sokka's skills at molding sand would only be judged by Azula, rather than by a large crowd.

"No, no, no! That tower is crumbling, Sokka, damn it!" Azula huffed, reaching over with the bucket to fix the tower that Sokka couldn't seem to compose properly. "Water! Use more water!"

"If I use too much it just crumbles anyway!" Sokka pouted. "You're such a perfectionist…"

"And you're not one at all. You… you meant that as an insult, too?" Azula scoffed. "Being a perfectionist is far better than being mediocre, just so you know…"

"I'm not mediocre!" Sokka's voice cracked, and Azula smirked as she knew she had successfully stoked his pride. "I'll do better than you! My own castle against yours! You'll see!"

It was a hilarious competition, one that Yue couldn't seem to stop laughing over as both struggled with different aspects of the composition of the castle – Sokka's castle certainly was a misshapen mass, more than anything, while Azula's frustrated her constantly, as she couldn't fully bring her vision to reality – instead, she would have to settle for a smaller, simpler building that she couldn't help but find frustrating.

And so, they tried again and again and again, and once they were finally close to success…!

A potent wave rushed in, without warning, and slammed into the side of both castles, nearly knocking Sokka and Azula off their feet.

"Nooooooo!" Sokka cried, hands up his hair as his grand work of sand architecture crumbled. "Not again! How dare you, sea?! How dare you?!"

"Oh, forget it! I'm not starting again, I'm done with…!" Azula exclaimed, turning towards the mirror…

… To find it was no longer there.

Azula's eyes widened: the foam was receding, and the water returning to the shore… and in it floated a surprised Yue, carried away by the ocean.

"YUE!"

Azula rushed out into the water, probably unnecessarily so: technically, Yue wouldn't go anywhere, even if her mirror did. But she still sprung out in a hurry, eager to pick up the mirror that kept going deeper into the water.

"Azula! Azula!" Sokka followed her, watching in surprise as the Princess loosened her sarong, tossing it aside before jumping fully into the water.

She certainly had a good form as a swimmer, but Sokka wasn't sure she'd be fast enough to reach the mirror right away. The water level would rise the deeper she went… and more waves were coming.

"Damn it…!" Sokka rushed after her, diving into the sea and swimming quickly to reach Azula. "Deep breath!"

Azula glanced back at him in confusion upon hearing him say that.

"Wave incoming!" Sokka explained.

Azula only had a small moment to obey his suggestion: the breath wasn't all that deep, but the wave crashed against her, she broke it with her body… and then she opened her eyes to realize the mirror was nowhere in sight.

"N-no… no!" she glanced back, trying to find it in the wave that had just rushed in, but she couldn't see it. Just as she couldn't see Sokka. "Sokka? Sokka?!"

Something rammed into her legs, not too violently, but hard enough to be noticeable: a shape underwater gave away that Sokka was floating below her, kicking fast and hard on his way… somewhere. Azula breathed deeply before sinking in, rushing in after him.

She reached for his back, touching it gently. He turned around, recognizing her with difficulty, squeezing her hand and urging her to catch up to him. Their breaths wouldn't last forever, but if they were going to find the mirror…

Something gleamed, deeper into the sea. It was falling lower and lower, dropping through the liquid… but the sun still gleamed upon its surface. That was enough for them to know where they had to go.

They kicked fast, speeding up further, and the mirror dropped lower still…

Their hands gripped it at the same time before they began kicking upwards instead.

Sokka wrapped an arm around her waist, and Azula wondered if he needed help… but when she surfaced, she realized he wanted her to break out of the surface first, instead.

Her hair whipped back chaotically as she took in a deep breath, cleansing her lungs. Sokka surfaced afterwards, his hair all over his face, and he shook his head violently to make the strands flop aside. They were floating deep in the ocean, and more waves would come next…

But they raised their hands, and the mirror sat between them indeed. Relieved sighs left both their lips.

"There… there! We've got it! We…!" Sokka gasped… when he felt the water receding again, reeling them deeper into the ocean.

"Sokka…!" Azula shrieked, grabbing onto him in a panic.

"Azula… I'm sorry," Sokka said, forcing her to let go of the mirror. "I hope this isn't a huge mistake…!"

He reeled his arm back, and he threw the mirror as powerfully as his arm could take it, all the way to the shore. Azula gasped as she saw it fly, partially grateful that his arm was strong enough to send it out of the water's reach… but hoping, just as well, that it wouldn't break against the sand after he'd thrown it quite so powerfully.

But they were still being dragged in, still in the currents' control.

"Breathe!" Sokka warned Azula: his grip around her tightened, and he dragged her under water.

He didn't go much lower than that: they felt the push of the surface wave, large and messy as it might be, and Sokka followed it as best as possible, letting the wave itself carry them closer to shore. They didn't make it too far, but they progressed towards the sand all the same as they resurfaced and continued swimming.

"We'll do that again…! Let the sea do the work for us…!" Sokka panted heavily. Azula nodded: his grip around her remained tight, their legs crashed when they kicked…

Another wave, and this time, they rode it carefully enough that Sokka's feet finally touched the sandy ground underneath them once again. He sighed in relief, walking a little further until Azula could stand properly in the water, too.

"Fuck… fuck," Sokka sighed, gripping Azula tightly. "You okay?"

"I'm… maybe a bit bruised. Hair's a mess. Got water in my ears, I think," Azula said. Sokka smiled awkwardly. "You?"

"Same," he laughed, though he glared at the sea with frustration. "It was a perfectly calm sea just a little while ago and now it went bonkers! What the hell was that about?"

"Huh… maybe the Ocean Spirit was trying to reclaim Yue," Azula proposed, playfully.

Sokka's eyes widened. The next wave rose, prepared to rush in once again.

"You're not saying…" Sokka glared at the water, and Azula smirked at his reaction.

"Sounds like your ex's new partner doesn't particularly care for us…" Azula said.

"You… HEY! If you want Yue for yourself, woo her properly, you bastard!" Sokka roared, splashing angrily. Azula laughed in his arms, pressing her face to his chest. "You're not taking that mirror, and I'm not handing it over, ever! You…! Uh… uh-oh."

Azula glanced again: apparently, Sokka's threat did not sit well with the Ocean Spirit, for a larger wave still rose in the distance…

"Run! RUN!" Sokka roared, grabbing Azula's hand and racing out of the water, knowing they would be goners otherwise.

The sea had receded enough that they could run across the wet sand without resistance. They kept going, they kept running, the wave broke, it was coming over them…

And it did exactly that, as good as drenching the entire bay and, of course, knocking Azula and Sokka off their feet once the last legs of water crashed hard against their calves, violently enough to break their balance and send them rolling across the wet sand. A rather wicked display by the Ocean Spirit, but an effective one to command proper respect from those who hadn't offered it any.

Sokka rolled over the sand, the water seeping through them and drenching them all over again. He clung to Azula nonetheless, shielding her from the impact with his body as best as he was able. It took him a moment to realize she was hugging him right back, face pressed against his chest.

"Now… now we're more bruised than before, heh," Sokka said, hand touching her flank, keeping her in place. "You okay?"

Azula breathed heavily and nodded. She sighed, eyeing him remorsefully after a moment.

"I… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have run off like that, after the mirror, I… fuck. I can see her whenever, wherever. The mirror isn't the only way…" Azula whispered. Sokka hummed, rolling them slightly so Azula would lie on her back.

"It's not. And I can get you another one too, if you lost this one," Sokka said. "But it's okay. We're fine, and hopefully the mirror is too… wherever it landed. I'll go fetch it in a bit…"

"Please," Azula said, with a small smile. "I… I don't want to lose it."

"I figured, but…" Sokka said, sitting up beside her. Azula sat too, shaking her head – sand clung to her hair, which was certainly more chaotic now than it had been before. "I still think I could've gotten you a new one, if you had. Maybe a prettier one, with a better finish? A little bigger, I don't know…"

"Heh," Azula smiled a little, lowering her gaze. "Didn't even think of that. I guess I just…"

"What?" Sokka asked, when she trailed off. Azula breathed out slowly, her heart pounding when she dared share her actual train of thought.

"That mirror is… the first gift anyone's given me since before Sozin's Comet."

Sokka froze in place. Azula bit her lip, breathing deeply as she forced herself to share more… to explain where this strange, unlikely bout of sentimentality had come from.

"I just didn't want… I mean, I don't even like it much, you already know I don't, but I didn't want to… to lose it anyway. Because you gave it to me. So… that. I'm sorry I was such a–…"

She couldn't finish the sentence, couldn't convey her full thoughts: she felt his hand reach for her neck, the other her cheek, and he raised her face so it would meet his as he leaned in to press his lips to hers.

The impulsive kiss caught Azula off guard entirely. Her eyes widened, and she raised a hand to push him away at first, by instinct alone…

Only to realize he was, indeed, kissing her.

A euphoric feeling she had not anticipated seemed to take root in her chest, roaring with a fierce, powerful emotion that brought her throat to thicken with tears, no matter how triumphant she might feel. The hand that had almost pushed him now fell upon his arm, upon the chest that had enticed her so…

She dove in, kissing him back without restraint.

She didn't care if he was pitying her, for once. The thought didn't even form fully in her head: he was kissing her. He had chosen to do it, so it was on him. She had kept her distance, she had sensed the feeling of intimacy and closeness developing between them, but she hadn't done anything out of place. She had behaved herself… but he didn't want her to. Clearly he didn't, or else he wouldn't be doing exactly what he was doing right now. And if he wanted her lips, she'd give them to him gladly. If he wanted her body… she might as well give him that, too.

His hands roamed her back, as he pressed her smoothly on the sand. He kissed her passionately, eagerly, ignoring the new waves that tickled their toes, pinning Azula in place as though to ensure that she wouldn't be able to run away this time, or shirk him off, or dismiss what was happening between them. He'd had enough of holding back when he could tell they both wanted the same thing…

This was new to her, entirely new. Her first kiss had happened in this island just as well, but it had been nothing like this. She had damn fished for it, hoped to catch his eye… now, she was on the receiving end of a passion more powerful than the waves that had rolled them earlier. He was as imposing as that ocean, and she welcomed him as the shore might, her cliffs finally eroded and ready to receive him.

Though the truth was that she didn't quite know what they were doing once Sokka's lips left hers, latching onto her neck instead. She gasped, knowing that was an avenue of intimacy she had never experienced… his hands moved over her flanks, slightly higher now, and – his thigh slipped between hers. His thigh was…

He gave her no quarter, no room to run away from the latest of their battles, if this could be called that at all. Her hands remained as good as inert upon his body… but she dared do more shortly, even if the tongue that jousted with hers threatened to throw her entirely out of balance. There was a danger to his bold touches, to the impulsive way in which he had pounced on her…

A danger she liked. A danger that set her heart on fire, racing at full speed.

Sokka was ready to have sex with her. He wanted to sleep with her.

And she wanted him to do it, just as well.

She moaned at last, when his lips found a weak spot on her neck. He sucked on it gently, then more intensely as he savored her, tasting her body as best he could, regardless of the saltwater that clung to it. Her hands finally moved, caressing his pectorals, his abdomen, his waist… she reached the hem of his swimming trunks, knowing that was all he wore. Her fingers dipped past the band, boldly daring reach down to touch, to grope his rear and squeeze it deviously. Sokka groaned: he wanted to do that too, did he? His hands indeed slipped down lower, to her waist… then, they jumped over to her thighs and from there, he raised her legs so they would lock behind his back.

While it wasn't ideal, he still could touch her like this. Her swimsuit bottoms were small, leaving very little to the imagination, and his hands cupped each buttock smoothly as he groaned against her neck. He growled hungrily before switching back to her lips, tasting her thoroughly once again, just as his hands massaged her intimately, touching her in ways no one had ever touched her before. Was this what desire felt like? Her cheeks flushed crimson, never having truly conceived that the day might come when someone would want her quite this badly. She didn't truly know why Sokka had gone wild on her this way, but she certainly had no complaints on that front so far: every daring, bold gesture on his part startled her, leading her to reel back out of fear of the unknown… only to discover that the unknown in this case was actually a surprisingly pleasant thing, instead. She trusted him, more than anyone… and so, she spread her legs wide open, pressing her chest into his, hoping he would continue to elicit sensations unparalleled upon her skin.

His groans into her mouth might just be having a stronger effect upon her lower body, for the warm tingles in her core strengthened each time his sounds echoed inside her. Likewise, his trunks tightened with every sensual moan that slipped from her throat. He couldn't have enough of those soft, shrill sounds, of eliciting that kind of response from his new lover… She gripped him more tightly, nails digging slightly in his skin, and Sokka hissed as he pressed his brow to hers.

"Hey, now…" he managed to say: she answered with a wicked laugh, one he found delicious enough to kiss off her mouth at once. Curses, he had to be losing his grip… but he found her laughter so seductive, much like everything about her was. He bucked his body against hers, and she responded with more of that moaning… he was losing it. He was really losing it…

Her head was buzzing with delight when she finally dared do something she truly didn't know how to do… oh, but how hard could it be? She allowed her hand to slide to the side, leaving the other one in place, fondling and rubbing his rear… while the other one slipped between their two bodies, touching coarse hair first until she finally found what she was seeking.

Sokka gasped, looking at her in surprise when her fingertips touched his manhood's base. Azula swallowed hard, smiling slightly at him.

"Guess… I found something," she concluded. Sokka swallowed hard.

"Can I…?" he asked. Azula shivered: he was seriously asking for permission now? The bastard truly knew how to make her legs feel like hot water, truly… he wanted more of her, more intimacy than they'd already found…

She nodded. She wanted more, too.

He responded to that permission by kissing her fiercely: one of his hands slid over her body, trailing inside the hem of her swimsuit bottom, and boldly slipping lower until the fingers dipped into her folds.

Azula gasped, and Sokka caught the sound with his mouth. He stared at her as he kissed her, and when she opened her eyes, she found his: she couldn't decide whether his finger's touch was more erotic or if the way he watched her, eyes so full of greed and lust, happened to be more powerful still…

She wanted to be naked with him, for him. She wanted to shed her every layer and let him see her as she was. He wouldn't run away: he wanted to see it all, too.

But before anything of the sort could happen, Sokka's fingertips rubbed smoothly, teasingly, over her folds. Was he trying to memorize her weakest spots, perhaps? Was he mapping out the way her body jolted and shifted with each caress? The clever bastard might just be doing exactly that…

She couldn't hold herself back at all. She couldn't help but surrender to the erotic situation: she threw her head back, and when his fingers rubbed her clit again, she didn't hold back from reaching the finish line right then and there.

Sokka gasped in surprise upon hearing her desperate, orgasmic moans. He was even weaker for her upon hearing them, and his curious fingers dared dip lower… he bit his lip as he dared enter her with one finger, finding her soft and tender, and thoroughly soaked.

"Hell…" he whispered. Azula's chest heaved against him as he continued to crush her to the sand.

She closed her eyes, and he dreaded the climax might just clear her head and she'd realize exactly what they had been doing, and that they'd been doing it out in the open…

Her hands rose to the back of his head, and she kissed him fiercely again, as though her earlier breathlessness had become a rather amusing addiction rather than a cause for concern…

"Azula…" Sokka groaned into her mouth, thrusting against her hand as though to sate his throbbing manhood: fuck, but he wanted her. He wanted to see just how compatible they truly were, on every level of the act…

"Sokka… Sokka…" she called for him, her voice a mere whisper unless his touch caused her to cry out louder. "Fuck…! S-Sokka, fuck… fuck me. Fuck me…!"

He hadn't actually expected her to ask for it, let alone after she had just finished. It suited her, of course, to be as unexpected as possible. He smiled in relief, heart pounding as he nodded eagerly.

"I want you. Fuck, I want you so badly…" he whispered: he tugged his trunks down properly now, and Azula wrapped a fist around his base: he was as good as fully erect already, and Sokka only groaned further as her hand helped him grow harder and larger still…

She could feel his size, she certainly feared he might be too big for her to accommodate him properly… but she didn't care. Oh, she didn't mind. She felt so smooth and supple now, as though she were made of rubber… and she certainly wanted more. She needed to know how it felt. She wanted to do exactly that with Sokka. She had wanted it for so much longer than she had let herself accept she did.

He tugged her swimsuit bottom aside, exposing enough of her core for him to breach: Azula gasped at the awareness of where they were being quite so inappropriate, realizing again that the water, while not as fierce and dangerous as before, still lapped at their feet on occasion… she gripped him, anticipation building as he kissed her reassuringly, finding the right entrance angle at last.

He pushed his way inside her.

Azula clenched up at first: the invasion certainly was complete now. If only this had been his long-term plan, she would have called it a resounding success. But where she had fought him off without fear ten years ago, today she didn't want to fight. She embraced him, instead… and he whispered warm words in her ears as he adjusted inside her.

"There… there. You okay? Breathe… loosen up, okay?"

Azula's breath hitched as she nodded, trying to obey him. The tension in her lower body might recede slowly, but there was a chance that he'd have to help with that. Maybe he didn't dare yet, but… oh, she wanted him to. She truly wanted him to…

"M-my… m-my breasts," Azula whispered. Sokka winced, pulling back as if fearful that he might have been crushing them. "T-touch them. Touch me. Sokka…"

"Oh… oh," Sokka smiled a little: she slapped his rear with the hand that remained there, as though encouraging him to get going already. He laughed, kissing her once more before thrusting slowly inside her…

His head moved to her neck as his fingers slid up finding the lower hem of her swimsuit's bra: he didn't settle for touching them under the cloth, instead yanking it up at a lack of knowledge of how to remove that precise swimsuit style… but with that, her breasts were delightfully exposed, and he pulled back just to admire them with a greedy, wicked smile. Her cheeks flushed as he ogled her: he liked what he saw. He really did…

"You're so… so damn perfect," Sokka whispered, startling Azula by his use of the word: she couldn't have been more imperfect as of late if she tried. Right now, she was covered in sand, her hair an unkempt mess… but he didn't lie. He couldn't have said it unless he meant it, so… maybe his notion of perfection was that removed from reality. Surely that was all there was to it…

His hands caressed her intimately, distracting her entirely from the light pain resulting from that initial penetration: it helped all the more when his lips latched onto her nipple, and Azula nearly screamed in bliss at the sensation. Oh, he had to do that again, and again, and on both sides, and…

He thrusted, and the pain seemed to fade to oblivion as he did. Its very final ripples were replaced by the booming arousal that threatened to run away with her for a second time already.

She gripped him tightly, and he was startled when it was her who thrusted upwards, as good as begging him to claim her.

And so he did, kissing her fiercely, giving free rein to the hands that caressed her intimately, to the hips that rolled recklessly into hers, his manhood dipping deeper and deeper, making his way through her as she opened up further and further… she had never been so excited in her life. She had never experienced anything on par with this. She damn near screamed with each hitch of pleasure, delighted to be fully pressed to the sand by him. Thankful, too, for his refusal to run away when she had nearly done that out of confusion at first: this exhilarant sensation was dangerously addictive, a high she wanted to chase without fail, knowing the fulfilling culmination would be even better than the one he had gifted her already…

He thrusted harder, faster, losing his grip on reality as his need for her overwhelmed him. His brow pressed against hers, his lips trailing all over her face, letting hers suck on his lower lip, a rather weak manner to stifle her own cries of passion…

His hips bucked, hands leaving her breasts briefly solely so he could hoist her hips carefully: the change in the angle of entry had her crying out even more desperately as he brushed more weak spots, as he claimed every part of her body she had never allowed herself to be ruled by… until today. Until that afternoon, when the shroud of dusk and the distance they kept from the rest of the beach's visitors might still not suffice to conceal Azula's next peak…

Her walls jolted so violently and pleasantly around his shaft that Sokka couldn't help but lose himself in the sensations, surrendering and succumbing to his primal need, unleashing himself deep inside her mere instants after she'd done the same thing.

He thrusted still, accompanying her as she navigated that climax, much as they had ridden the waves earlier. He didn't slow down until her walls slowed down, until they were no longer jolting… and by then, Sokka leaned over her chest, pressing soft kisses upon the exposed mounds he had wanted to explore so very thoroughly… maybe she would let him still. Maybe his failure to hold out for much longer wouldn't be punished all that harshly… but she truly hadn't made it easy at all. As far as he could tell, the past weeks of their relationship, probably since their drinking spree in Ba Sing Se's rooftops, had been the longest foreplay of all time.

"Sokka…" Azula called him. He groaned in response, still pressing his face to her breast: she would tell him he wasn't allowed to do that anymore, wouldn't she? Now that they were done, surely she would shove him off… "We… shit. We didn't use… any of that."

"Any of…?" Sokka blinked blankly, raising his head in confusion.

"The safe-sex stuff that woman… gave us," Azula admitted, cheeks flushed. Sokka's eyes widened.

"Uh… oh. Uh, heh, well… next time," he said, before his stomach sank: would there be a next time?

The smile on Azula's face suggested he wasn't wrong to hope for that, and his heart soared to see it.

"Well… better late than never, I suppose," she said, with a slight laugh. "Sokka…"

He smiled warmly, and she did the same before reeling him closer, arms wrapped around his neck. She kissed him again, unconcerned with how uncomfortable the sand was, careless about how shameless they were, letting themselves get carried away out in the open this way…

"Let's go… go inside," Sokka suggested, licking her lips. Azula hummed. "Come on. We can get the stuff and… and go again, when you're ready. If you want…"

"I want to. I… t-that was…" Azula said, with a small smile. Sokka grinned. "You know I'd never, well…"

"You're way too bold already for someone who's new at this," Sokka laughed, kissing her cheek. "I can only wonder how much wilder you're going to get in a couple more rounds…"

"Guess we'll see," Azula smiled: what the hell was this? She had no idea. She didn't think there was a rational explanation for it either. She just… liked this. Liked him. She wanted more of his thrusts, plowing into her with abandon… her heart raced with unbridled excitement upon knowing he wanted more of her, too. How much more? Would he grow bored of her? She hoped not. She truly hoped not…

Sokka sat up, and their bodies uncoupled. Azula gazed at him as he moved, knowing she remained exposed to him… doing absolutely nothing to change that. The way his greedy eyes locked on her nipples sent a special kind of shiver down her spine.

"Come here," Sokka whispered, slipping his arms underneath her body and hoisting her into his embrace.

She kissed him willfully again once he did that, and while he stumbled slightly while standing up, carrying her, he managed to do so in the end. They laughed together, brows touching, as Azula caressed his cheek gently.

"Weak on the knees?" she asked.

"Maybe a little," he admitted, earnestly. "Your fault for being so…"

"So?" Azula asked, amused by the sudden accusation.

"So seductive, I suppose that's the right word," Sokka laughed, kissing her neck as he marched her back towards the small road that led to the house. Azula moaned, wrapping arms and legs firmly around him. "Like it when I do that, do you?"

"Still haven't done anything I didn't like," Azula smiled. "I'll bite you if you do."

"And what are we going to do if I happen to like it when you bite me?"

She burst out laughing again, and Sokka smirked as he carried her inside, letting himself explore her body even if his hands had to remain firmly locked on her rear, keeping her in place. Azula had better chances to do it, caressing his shoulders, his chest, his strong neck… she claimed kisses off his lips constantly, and Sokka surrendered them generously each time, squeezing her ass when he did. If her mouth wasn't busy claiming his, his own would press to her collarbone, to her upper chest… and a couple of times, to her mounds and the nipples that were smoothly pressed against him.

"Like those, do you?" Azula asked teasingly, as they finally entered the house anew.

"Like you said… still haven't found the first thing I don't like about you," Sokka smiled, leaning in and sucking on her nipple teasingly. Azula moaned, arching back slightly as Sokka finally reached the living room… and the table filled with contraceptive methods, too.

They laughed as Sokka set Azula down on the table, and their adventures deciding which ones to use began then. They laughed together as they realized they'd mixed up some of the methods, with him eating the seeds while she ate the fruit at first, then switching it around. They decided to settle for that for the time being, though Azula was curious, regardless, about the membrane that Sokka didn't seem convinced by…

"I don't know if it'll feel the same, but fine, we can try it, we can…" he said, wrapping his arms around her as he kissed her again. "But right now…"

"Yes…?" Azula asked: she had rested plenty by now. She certainly was ready to go again…

"We should clean up."

Azula raised an eyebrow, and Sokka chuckled as he hoisted her into his arms again.

"We're going to keep doing this, aren't we? Why not clean up after…?" she asked: Sokka groaned, pressing his face to her neck and kissing it softly.

"Because… we've got sand everywhere, girl."

She winced and glanced towards the trail they'd left on their way inside the house. Indeed, there was sand scattered leading up to the table, and plenty on the table too, where he had placed her. She laughed, shaking her head, and the sand spilled down her back, out of her hair, causing her to shiver at the sensations.

"That's… a compelling argument," she conceded, laughing as Sokka carried her away. "As you wish."

"Bet it's going to feel a lot better without sand grains sticking into us everywhere," Sokka chuckled. "If we do it again out there, we'd better set down a towel."

"A good idea," Azula smiled, kissing him earnestly again.

They cleaned up together in the bathroom near Sokka's room: they finally dared be fully naked together, shedding the very exposed clothes they had still been wearing – Azula hadn't even fixed her top to cover her chest so far, and now she wouldn't bother doing it anyway, either. They washed each other thoroughly, intimately, though Sokka proved himself all over again as a grand catch for a lover once he focused particularly on cleaning her hair properly. Azula smiled: she hadn't indulged in the feeling of someone washing her hair for her in so long… what a delightful privilege to reclaim, and by the hands of her lover, who covered her neck in warm kisses while whispering wickedly delightful things in her ear…

Most people took their time to relax in the tub after cleaning up thoroughly: the eagerness led Sokka and Azula to forsake doing that. Instead, they marched into Sokka's chosen room, unable to get their hands off each other at all, trading no end of deep kisses as they finally fell into a comfortable, smooth bed.

All the while, their hearts didn't seem to stop racing. The thrills they felt in each other arms seemed unlike anything they had ever experienced – Azula, naturally, had known this would be an unprecedented matter for her… but Sokka could only smile brightly as he nibbled on her neck, as he fondled her chest, as he stirred her arousal, caressing her core: this was what he had been missing all along. This excitement, this thrill… he had never known he had been looking for it, but he had found it indeed. The cumbersome, dark year he had endured, begrudgingly, suddenly seemed so bright… for she was making it brighter. And she was dangerous, and chaotic, and wicked, and her sense of humor could be as unrefined as his… every single one of those things convinced him further that he was exactly where he always wanted to be, with the right person to be with, just as well.

They determined to spend the night in bed, then, learning each other thoroughly, touching intimately, finding their shared kinship could become something so much deeper than that. They hardly seemed to stop kissing, and they laughed together without restraint at each other's occurrences without fail. After two more rounds of sex, each smoother and more pleasant than the last, they lay together, with Sokka resting atop Azula, comfortably nestled atop her breasts, occasionally pressing soft kisses or even toying with the nipples – Azula even urged him to do it at times, prompting him to laugh as he pleasured her anew.

"Hope your first time was a lot better than you expected," Sokka chuckled, smiling warmly at her as he palmed her chest gently. She smiled, running her fingers through his smooth hair.

"I never expected one, frankly. Thought I'd die a virgin and I wasn't exactly upset about it. Didn't think I'd meet anyone worth doing this with," she whispered, kissing his brow softly. "You make it your life's mission to be contrarian to anything I'm resolved to do, as far as I can tell."

"Isn't it worth it, though?" Sokka grinned goofily. Azula laughed and shrugged.

"You're making it worth it, yes. Smug asshole," she whispered. Sokka snickered proudly.

"Safe to say Ember Island isn't that bad when you go with the right person, huh?" he asked, hand dipping lower, resting on her waist instead. Azula hummed in agreement, reeling him in for a deep kiss.

"Or the wrong person, for the right reasons," Azula laughed. Sokka scoffed. "What?"

"You're just being contrarian like me," he decided. Azula snorted. "You're going to pretend otherwise, are you?"

"Sokka… I'm not sure anyone's ever thought I'm the right fit for anything. Well, other than my father, when it was about sending me to do his bidding," Azula sighed. "We've had great sex, no doubt, but… you think that means I'm right for you?"

"No… I think everything else we shared before that means you're right for me," Sokka whispered, startling Azula. "What? You thought I'd only started wanting you right now?"

"W-well, no, but…"

"Didn't you hear I'd drawn Suki firebending once before?" Sokka smiled, leaning close to kiss her cheek. "The only girl I'd met who could firebend is in this bed with me, right now…"

"Pfft! You're not saying you wanted me like this all along! Sokka…?" Azula said, eyeing him skeptically. He snickered and shrugged.

"I'm not going to pretend I did it consciously, but…" he said. Azula scoffed.

"Sokka… you didn't have a crush on me, did you?"

"I…! Might have?"

"You're ridiculous," Azula snorted, bursting out with laughter again as Sokka groaned, pressing kisses to her neck.

"Well, you slept with the ridiculous idiot who has a crush on you and still has it and would love to keep on sleeping with you, so who's more ridiculous now?" he said.

"Still you," Azula decided. Sokka sighed and shrugged.

"Guess I'll live with that," he said, with a slight smile. "Did… did it never cross your mind? Back in the war, I mean. Ever looked at me and thought: 'oh, what a handsome peasant! If only he had been born Fire Nation, I would be expecting him to ask my father for my hand in marriage…' or so?"

"You really have some wild fantasies, don't you?" Azula smirked. Sokka chuckled and shrugged.

"An imagination is a healthy thing, Princess," he smiled, kissing her lips softly.

"Well… relinquish it a little bit as I tell you the truth," Azula said: Sokka's eyes widened.

"The… huh?" he raised his eyebrows.

"You… were indeed handsome. And when I realized you were actually with Suki, I was disappointed. If just a bit."

Sokka's eyes widened at her confession. She laughed, shaking her head.

"I did enjoy our clash in the tunnels far more than I should have. You're terribly dominant when you want to be," Azula smiled, trailing a hand over his flanks. "It's a good trait in a man… knowing when to stand his ground, as well as when to submit? Fascinating. So… yes, I liked you far more than I should have, I dare say. Never expected anything to happen, of course, and I wasn't about to admit it aloud to anyone, it was treasonous to so much as wonder what it might be like for you to kiss me, but…"

"Well… it's not treasonous now," Sokka smiled, pressing his lips to hers. "And you don't need to wonder much anymore."

"Still treasonous, actually," Azula said, with a slight smirk. "You're in bed with a wanted criminal, didn't you know that?"

"Oh, they can piss off," Sokka growled, and Azula laughed at his reaction. "They sure as hell don't want you as badly as I do."

"Is that right?" Azula laughed, before he kissed her long and tenderly.

The comfort they found together was next to none: Azula wanted more of this, more of him, maybe another round or twenty… her body might not be up for it anymore, she might need a break, but curses, if he asked for another, she would gladly push her limits just for him. Her arms looped around his neck, reeling him in, showing him she wanted him just as badly as he had said he wanted her…

He smiled warmly at her once they pulled back – no one ever smiled at her that way. She knew no one had done it before. Her heart tingled with hope, with bliss, to know that someone did now…

"I just…" he started, before smiling and shaking his head. Her heart jolted with anticipation and eagerness, wondering if he was about to admit he was as hooked on her as she was on him… or would he say something else instead? Who could ever hope to know…?

"What?" Azula nudged him. He laughed, shaking his head. "If it's that funny you should say it. Then, if it's not actually funny, I'll pinch you for getting my hopes up…"

"It's not funny, no," Sokka smiled, cupping her face. "But I think you don't want to hear it, actually."

"Unless you're about to say you were messing with me the whole time and none of this is real? I'm not sure I understand why I wouldn't want to hear it," Azula said, a sense of trepidation rising inside her. Even so, Sokka kept smiling, shaking his head.

"It's not a bad thing, it's just… I'm not sure you're ready to hear it," he said.

"Well… I did say I liked how honest you are, from quite early on actually," Azula said. "Might as well be honest and tell me what you were thinking rather than messing with me this way…"

Sokka breathed deeply, gazing at her with heartfelt emotion. He didn't want to tell her what he was thinking… but once he did, she'd understand exactly why that was the case.

"Very well. Might as well do it," he said, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "What's on my mind, you ask? Well… that I'm pretty sure I love you, that's what."

Of all things he could've said, that hadn't so much as crossed Azula's mind.

Where she had forced herself to feel his touch in ways she wasn't used to, only to realize how pleasant it could be after it was done, this time she didn't restrain her impulses to run away. This time, she sat up on the bed, pulling back from him, leaving Sokka to hover where her chest had been moments ago while she pressed against the headboard, as though someone were threatening her rather than making a positive confession. Sokka sighed, gazing at her helplessly… to find immense fear in her eyes. Inexplicable fear, at that.

"Y-you… no. You don't," Azula said, shivering. Sokka raised an eyebrow. "No. You think you do, and you're crazy if you do, but that's not… no. Sokka, you couldn't possibly be… you didn't just say…"

Her eyes widened as she covered her mouth with a hand. Tears bloomed in her eyes:

Someone had told her he loved her.

Sokka loved her.

The initial denial shifted into a burst of disbelief: this wasn't true. It couldn't be true, only…

Sokka didn't lie.

It was a dream, then. It had to be. This couldn't be happening for good, not for real, not to her, because this wasn't what happened to her. No, granted, she didn't sleep with people either, considering this was the first time she'd done that, but… that was different. Sex wasn't love. It didn't have to be. And yet… and yet it might just be for Sokka.

And she had just rejected his confession by refusing to believe it, hadn't she?

"Sokka…!" she gasped, watching him sit up on the bed. He breathed out slowly, offering her a sad smile.

"I know what's going on in my heart, Azula," he said, reaching out to take her hands in his. "And I know it's… not normal, you know? It's… it's really wild, and reckless, and unexpected, and… and I'm enjoying it like nothing I've experienced in my life. You… you've made me happier than I remember being in ages, Azula. And I'm not saying all of this to get you to say the words back to me… I'm saying it so you know that I'm not impulsively blurting this out now because our sex is mind-blowing. It's… it's because I know I feel this way. And if it seems awful to you, and you don't want me to feel like this, I get it but… I can't do much about it, as it happens. You didn't really leave me much of a choice other than falling for you, so…"

"I didn't leave you a choice?" Azula asked, perplexed. "I… I didn't do anything."

"Exactly," Sokka smiled. Azula raised an eyebrow. "You didn't have to."

She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She stared at him in disbelief, perplexed, and Sokka smiled as he leaned in, pressing his lips softly to hers.

"You don't have to say it back. You don't even have to feel the same way about me," Sokka whispered, caressing her face affectionately. "If you did, well, I'd be a lucky bastard, but it's fine if you don't, too. Whatever makes you happier, whatever you want to do… we'll do it. This is… on your terms. Even if it's my impulsiveness that got us here to begin with…"

He chuckled, eyeing her with a tenderness that struck her deep down in her heart. Azula shivered, raising a hand to clasp his…

"I… I don't know how to love someone," Azula said. Sokka's smile receded. "I… you'd be better off if you didn't feel that way about me, of all people. I've never… Sokka, no one has ever said that to me before."

Sokka gritted his teeth: the revelation came as no surprise, considering everything he knew about her past, about her life until they had converged together as they had. He hadn't loved her all along, regardless of the guilty attraction he constantly tried to stifle and never acknowledge as such from years ago… he had believed she was dangerous, just as everyone else did. He hadn't given her much thought outside of knowing that, whenever she turned up, any given situation was bound to grow more complicated.

So it shouldn't have outraged him that she had never heard those words before. Her brother wasn't likely to speak them – he couldn't remember hearing him say them to Iroh, whom he certainly loved, so how would he ever say them to Azula? Her relationship with her mother was troubled in ways Sokka had scarcely understood, since Zuko didn't often talk about it, and when he did, he appeared not to understand it either. Her father, evidently, was out of the question entirely.

No one had ever loved her. If anyone had, she certainly had never felt it.

Sokka sighed, cupping her face and kissing her softly. He dreaded that she might shove him off, that she might reject his feelings, not out of distaste towards him, but out of fear. This was new territory for the Princess. She had reasons to be uneasy, uncertain… his heart pounded for her, and he longed to wipe away every sorrowful moment she had ever endured. When he pulled back, she appeared unusually lost and vulnerable.

"I don't know if I can… if I can love anyone to begin with," Azula whispered. "In the asylum, the things they said, well…"

"Nothing you've said about that place sounds like they had your best interests in mind at all, Azula," Sokka said, stroking her hair affectionately. "Sounds more like they were glorified jailors, trying to keep you out of Zuko's path for his peace of mind."

"That… might be accurate," Azula said, raising her eyebrows. "Doesn't mean they weren't right about me, though."

"Doesn't mean they were, either," Sokka said. Azula laughed softly.

"You keep giving me so much credit… Sokka, I'm not a good person," she whispered. "If you intend on pursuing this crazy idea of loving me… then you'd do best to keep that in mind. I won't make it easy for you. I haven't so far, as far as I can tell…"

"You'd think… but maybe that's true for anyone but me," Sokka smirked smugly – oh, how she hated the way her heart jolted at the sight of that confident smile upon his face. "I've already told you… I love the way you challenge me. I love that you make me work for… well, everything, really. It's crazy to say it, but… maybe I'm my most authentic self right now because you're with me. And while I'd never say I love myself, I… kind of like the man I've become ever since I've been by your side."

Azula swallowed hard, closing her eyes as though to hold back the tears.

"I'm… not sure I can do this. I don't want to hurt you," Azula said, her voice small. Sokka smiled.

"Well, I'm pretty hardy. I'll roll with the punches until we figure out how this works, how about that?" Sokka said. Azula sighed.

"Is that what a relationship should be like?" she asked. "I mean, I wouldn't know, but it sounds like a chore…"

"I'm a pain in the ass, I make bad jokes, I'm reckless and impulsive when I want to be, and I scold you when you do crazy but fun things like tampering with the tea in your uncle's shop…"

Azula couldn't stifle a chuckle at the memory of her mischief. Sokka smiled, caressing her hair and pressing his lips to her brow.

"If you can endure me at my most irksome… because, well, so far you've never said you won't," Sokka said, with a slight smile. "I'm pretty sure I can take you on no matter what."

"We'll have to test that thoroughly," Azula said, shaking her head. "I trust you in a lot of ways, but right now it sounds like you want to say all the right things, even if you do mean them, but you have an ulterior motive…"

"Do I, now?"

"You know, that you just want to make sure you have cleared the way to get into my pants," Azula declared, haughtily: she feared she might just piss him off, but that was exactly the point: he needed to remember who he was dealing with. Several rounds of incredible sex didn't erase that she…

He snorted and laughed, wrapping his arms around her tightly still, burying his face in her neck.

"S-Sokka…?"

"Test my resolve, then… go on," Sokka smiled, gazing at her warmly once he pulled back. "I dare you."

"You're… infuriating," she said, unable to hold back a slight smile.

"Am I?" he asked, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. Azula sighed.

"I… I'm sorry if I'm being a pain right now, but… Sokka, I want this," she whispered, earnestly. "I want you. I just… don't know how to make love work, I guess. I'm too new to it, too scared of fucking it up…"

"We'll figure it out together," Sokka smiled, taking her hand into his. "And if it's not working? We can always just… have sex anyway."

"Oh, really?" Azula laughed, and Sokka smirked shamelessly. "You're an opportunistic piece of work, Sokka."

"Come on, we're too good at it to stop just because you don't love me," Sokka laughed. Azula scoffed, taking his head in her hands to press an intense kiss to his lips. He responded gratefully, giving as good as he got, and they rolled back on the bed, this time with Azula atop him.

"I never said… I didn't love you," she whispered. Sokka smirked.

"Well, that's a promising start at least," he said, hands on her hips as she blushed, hovering above him, her breasts dangling temptingly in front of his greedy eyes. "Though we can finish that conversation later, I think my brain's just stopped working because, well…"

"What? Something the matter with the landscape?" Azula asked, amused by the sight of his lustful gaze.

"It's a glorious, perfect landscape, yep," Sokka said, smiling slightly as he raised a hand to fondle her chest.

Azula sighed: she could certainly do this, as he had told her. She could succumb to the need of physicality, of feeling his lips on her, his hands raking every curve upon her body, his manhood impaled firmly inside her. Even if she was as fucked up as the damnable asylum said she was, she could try this and defy their beliefs about her, too. Nothing would be quite as gratifying as proving Zuko and his goons wrong… though sleeping with Sokka might just be better than that, actually.

She leaned in, pressing him against the bed, and he laughed as she seemed to suffocate him between her breasts, pressed to his face. She smiled as she let herself forget the heavy matters, to instead unwind by basking in the very thing Sokka wanted to persuade her to do…

Her body would certainly charge her quite expensively for the extended exercise she was subjecting it to: she wasn't used to this, to everything Sokka awakened in her body. The arousal, the new discoveries she was making… she might just be overstimulated, and yet she couldn't have enough of hearing the wicked sounds of his mouth working upon her skin, feeling his warm, teasing tongue darting back and forth across her nipples anew…

She had started bucking her hips against him when she heard a startling sound, coming from deeper in the house.

She jumped away immediately, to Sokka's disappointment. He groaned in frustration, sitting up as she glared towards the door they'd left carelessly open.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Hopefully, just something dumb we misplaced, or that got misplaced ages ago and finally just… fell over?" Sokka said, pressing his face to her chest again. "We'll check it out after…"

Her heart was racing, and not solely because of the excitement Sokka elicited inside her: she pulled back, bringing her fingers to her mouth to urge him to be quiet. Sokka blinked blankly – his leisurely demeanor dwindled over her urgency. If Azula was that worried…

He glanced over too… and then they heard the sound of the front door, closing abruptly.

"Oh, shit," Sokka gasped: Azula yelped, climbing off him at once.

"Isn't Zuko looking for us in the Earth Kingdom?!" she asked Sokka urgently, scrambling out of the bed as he did the same. "What do I…? What do I wear? Sokka…"

"I've got my things here, give me a second," Sokka said, dropping by his bags, pulling them open as he began rummaging for clothes…

Footsteps. Dubitative ones, approaching the room.

"Who the hell would…?" Azula gasped, gritting her teeth and yanking the sheet off the bed – if nothing else, that would help cover her body while Sokka offered her his clothes to wear…

But by the time he flung a long tunic at her, while jumping into a set of pants of his own, the shadowy silhouette of whoever had arrived could be seen through the threshold of the room already… and it wasn't all that dark anymore: the sudden arrival brought a lantern along, and Azula's heart sank – she wouldn't have enough time to put anything on, curses, Sokka had barely just pulled his pants up when the third occupant of the house stepped into the room.

Her heart sank.

Her stomach too.

No, perhaps they imploded.

She had never quite wanted to be deleted from existence quite as badly as she did when her eyes met those of her mother.

Ursa stood in place holding up the lantern, confusion plain across her features as she glanced across the room… at first, she didn't recognize them. No surprise that she wouldn't have, of course, she hadn't seen Azula in a fairly long time and certainly not with her hair in utter disarray as it was… nor had she seen Sokka in this shape, either, holding up his pants awkwardly, his own hair down too. She must have thought they were drunk travelers, sneaking into an empty house for the sake of it…

But Sokka yelped with recognition, paling quickly… even if not as violently as Azula did.

Ursa's jaw dropped slowly. Azula shuddered, gripping the sheet around her body even more tightly. Of all people to walk into the damn room, of all possible people…!

"… Azula?"

The embarrassment of being caught by someone would have been bad enough. The mortification over it being her own mother, with whom she hadn't even spoken in ages, only made everything a million times more unbearable. Whatever progress she had made emotionally on that day with Sokka was poised to backtrack entirely because of this.

Ursa had enough sense to leave them to dress up, and Azula wistfully hoped she would just have taken off altogether. Panic flared in her when she wondered if she might have brought her wretched family too… but after leaving Sokka's room to dress up in her own, and then inspecting the house again, she heard no other voices, no sounds: no sign of Noren and Kiyi. She certainly preferred it that way, even if she would have actually preferred for her mother to not show up at all…

And now they sat on the steps that led outside to the beach, where she and Sokka had gotten carried away wonderfully and delightfully by their mutual attraction. Azula glared in the sand's direction, wishing to turn back time, to go back to feeling cherished and wanted and desired… rather than judged, despised, regretted, as she no doubt expected her mother would feel.

Sokka sat between them, his awkwardness palpable. No doubt he wanted to tell Ursa that he hadn't done anything harmful to Azula – he could even share that they'd tested some birth control methods, as suggested by the woman they'd met earlier that day – but he didn't dare. This tense situation was entirely unprecedented for any of them, and his occasional glances at Ursa revealed that she, clearly, didn't feel any better about it than he did.

He wanted to talk things over. So did Ursa. Azula, most likely, wanted to hear none of it.

"I…" Ursa started, her voice grating on Azula's nerves at once. "I had heard that you were in the Earth Kingdom. I didn't realize you would be, well… here."

"We're traveling a lot," Sokka responded, as calm as he could present himself. "Did, uh, did you know I was with her?"

"There was confusing information on the matter," Ursa smiled awkwardly. "It rather sounded like, uh…"

"Like I'd kidnapped, gagged, drugged him and dragged him with me everywhere?"

Azula's cutting tone sent shivers of the bad kind down Sokka's spine: he wanted to hug her, tell her everything would be fine… but he knew she wouldn't take well to that right now.

"Well… I hoped that wasn't the case," Ursa admitted. Azula let out a bark of sarcastic laughter.

"You hoped? Well, it's not, so I suppose you must be happy now," Azula growled.

"I'm… confused, if anything," Ursa said. Azula scoffed.

"If what confuses you is the obvious? My personal life is none of your business," she snapped. Ursa winced, and Sokka glanced at Azula mournfully.

"I… I guess not, but…" Ursa whispered, gritting her teeth.

"No. No, don't give me that damn tone, I'm not having it," Azula snapped: she pushed herself up, shaking her head and pacing in front of the stairs.

"Azula…" Sokka called her, but she ignored him. As much as she might have grown to care for him, this did not call for his intervention.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Azula asked, turning towards Ursa. "And without your damn family, too? What, are you sick of them as well by now? Did they finally bore you and you were looking for something more invigorating in Ember Island? Eager to replace your husband and daughter yet again, maybe?"

"Azula, I didn't…" Ursa started. Azula scoffed.

"Don't lie. That's exactly what you did. And don't pretend that you're sorry for it now," Azula growled. "I… I was a damn terrible daughter, sure I was. And my father? He was a nightmare of a husband to you, I'm sure! Everyone in your life was making you miserable, everyone but precious, perfect Zuko! Oh, Zuzu, the light in everyone's lives, the only person worth anything carrying Sozin's rotten blood…!"

She let out a laugh, shaking her head and turning away from her mother: the dark night left the stars to gleam brightly above them, and Azula shuddered as more words she should have withheld, that she should have never spoken, spilled from her lips.

"I'm under no delusions that I deserved a better mother," Azula hissed. Ursa winced next to Sokka. "Regardless of whatever nonsense you think of me, Sokka? I truly am not worth any of that. I'm a terrible person, a mess, living my life just for the sake of it, knowing I'm fated for nothing grand, nothing worthwhile, nothing significant! I don't have a purpose, not for myself, not for real! All I have is ten tons of baggage that I most likely deserve to carry, and yet…! And yet no one, ever, thought that maybe I didn't want to carry it. That maybe I just wanted… to find some stupid boy I might like, someone to have a normal life with, someone I could just be myself with, settle down without needing to be on the run, fleeing from a brother who wouldn't shed a tear if his bounty hunters and soldiers slaughtered me under his orders!"

"What…?" Ursa gasped.

"So I'm quite sorry, Mother, but I don't want to hear whatever excuses you want to make for everything you've done, or haven't done!" Azula exclaimed, glaring at her. "I don't need to hear it. I don't want to. If you get to be selfish, to run away with the man you actually wanted, and have a life of leisurely carelessness while forsaking your son and daughter? Then I get to be selfish and tell you I don't give a shit! I get to be selfish and fuck whoever I want to! I get to be selfish and sabotage Zuko and Iroh in whatever stupid ways I can, if I still can, because they vex me! And I get to walk away, just as you did, and forget that I even had a mother if I feel like it, just as you forgot about me! How does that sound?!"

Ursa gritted her teeth, lowering her gaze. She said nothing, and neither did Sokka. Azula dreaded her outburst might just chase him away, but as uncomfortable as he looked, he hadn't said anything still. He hadn't fled. He hadn't come to Ursa's rescue, either. That last thing was probably the most surprising of them all…

"There's… so much I never got to say," Ursa whispered at last, and Azula snarled. "But above all, I… I don't blame you for my mistakes. That's the main thing I need you to understand, Azula."

"You don't blame me?" Azula smiled slightly. "Well, that's too bad. I blame you for a ton of things, myself."

"You're right to," Ursa said. Azula huffed, shaking her head. "Azula, I know it must be annoying, frustrating to hear me say it, but…"

"It is, yes. Thanks for noticing," Azula said, sardonically.

"There's nothing I can do to make up for the past," Ursa said. Azula scoffed.

"Which is why you won't even try."

"I didn't say that…"

"Might as well have. You didn't come here to see me, you had no idea I was here, and I'm sure the first thing you'd like to do is run for the hills at once," Azula growled. "And I know that because that's how I feel about being anywhere near you. And I'm unloading all this on you, right here, right now, because I know the chances are I'll never see you again. So, mind you, while you're not the only person to blame for the fuckup I've become, you certainly are responsible for plenty of it."

Ursa gritted her teeth, lowering her gaze again.

"I… I know this is something you've carried with you for a long time," Ursa whispered. Azula frowned. "It's only grown worse, I'm sure, as time goes by. I… I can acknowledge I wronged you, Azula. I never did right by you…"

"Nobody did," Azula cut her, cleanly. "And yet… I suppose you assumed my father, of all people, would be able to raise me into being a respectable, dignified Princess one day?"

"I… I had no such expectations from your father, no."

"So you forsook me while knowing that he was a bastard who would have sacrificed my life in a heartbeat, if it had ever come to that, to win so much as petty victories in the war," Azula concluded. Ursa grimaced, lowering her gaze. "And I… I would've accepted it, yes. I served a greater purpose, after all! The Fire Nation's cause, furthering our march of civilization all across the world…! That was all that mattered, the only thing I should've spent my life doing, and instead, I wound up losing everything and becoming a wanted criminal, a complete wreck of a human being, if I'm even that, because you think I'm a monster after all…!"

"I don't…! Oh, Azula…!"

"That's fine, I must be one. Why deny it now?" Azula laughed sardonically, looking at Ursa mercilessly. "If I wasn't one all along, which I probably was, and you were most likely right about me the whole time, then I sure became one later, right? Because the moment someone was crazy enough to… to say he loved me? I felt like saying it right back and yet I was terrified, terrified right out of my mind because how could I possibly say that?! It would be a lie, a monster wouldn't possibly love someone and… and if I did? If I did, I'd fuck it up somehow! I'd hurt him, I'd mess up, because that's just all I can do, all I've ever done, as the monster I've become. And you know what? I own up to that fact… to being one. But don't you dare pretend… don't you dare pretend you're not responsible for who I am. You, my father… the two of you, hell, my uncle for underestimating and then despising me! My brother, for constantly trying to prove himself better than me instead of ever just being my brother?! None of you… none of you get away with pretending I was too far gone, that I could not be saved! If you had bloody tried, maybe I wouldn't have seen you in mirrors and in reflections, maybe you wouldn't have haunted me the way you did until I knew, for sure, that you had never cared about me and that you never would! 'I'm sorry I didn't love you enough'? What kind of blasted mother would say something like that?! You had a choice! You could've done better, and you didn't! And this… this is your retribution for it. The daughter you revile, letting you know you're never going to live down the shame of your responsibility in who she has become. Because, believe it or not, I'm not all good now. I'm not, even if I'm trying to fulfill someone's dream, I…"

She faltered suddenly.

Her words brought back something that had escaped her mind blissfully, carelessly, so far.

She froze up, covering her mouth with a hand. The rushing disgust that overwhelmed her, that overtook her, was so much worse than being caught by Ursa…

"Azula?" Sokka frowned, standing up and approaching her: she held a hand out, stopping him at once.

"Stay… stay put. Stay there. I…" Azula said, snarling. "I can't do this right now. I can't do this anymore."

She marched back inside, an anguished expression across her face. Sokka raised a hand as though to stop her, but he didn't have the heart to do so. Instead, he sighed as he watched her leave, longing more than ever to hold her in his arms and protect her from everything that might harm her… even if it was someone who appeared to be as tame and unthreatening as Ursa.

The woman stood up, wiping tears from her eyes, but she released a heavy breath as she turned towards him.

"You'll… go after her?" she asked. Sokka nodded.

"I mean to. But I'll give her some more time," he said, biting his lip. "I have a feeling I know what… what's bothering her right now."

"I can leave," Ursa said. Sokka frowned. "Though… I mean to come back tomorrow anyway, provided you'll stay a little longer."

"You'll… leave? And stay where?" Sokka asked.

"There are plenty of inns. If that fails… Lo and Li might just have me," Ursa sighed. "Not the best place to stay, but it would do. I just… was she talking about you? When she said that… that someone told her he loved her?"

Sokka grimaced, nodding slowly. Ursa sighed, offering him a watery grin.

"Good. I'm glad… I'm glad you feel that way," she said.

"Do you feel that way, too?" Sokka asked, raising his eyebrows. Ursa's face fell again, and she lowered her gaze.

"My heart breaks every time I think of her," she whispered. "And the more time goes by… the more I realize just how much I wronged her. In fact, I… I needed to hear everything she said. She would likely think I'm patronizing her, no matter if I'm being fully honest…"

"She does have a tendency to think everyone's lying to her," Sokka admitted. Ursa winced. "Guess I'm lucky I'm the only one who's such a bad liar that she knows there's no way I'm being anything but honest."

"Well… she needs people like you in her life. Without a doubt," Ursa said, earnestly. "And I won't shirk away my responsibility in her state of mind. Which, well… has it improved, do you think? I've never done anything to help her with that, though, honestly… it sounds like I was the source of her mental disturbances, if anything."

"I don't know if the source, or the sole one, if you were, but… she's better," Sokka said, nodding. "She does see visions of someone else, not you, these days… but as much as I can't see her myself, she's really there. She's no mirage like you were."

"Wait… what?" Ursa frowned. Sokka sighed.

"I'm only telling you that because I assumed that you would want what's best for her. But if you say that you'll have her locked up in the asylum for seeing things, I…"

"That's…! I wouldn't have said that, not even years ago, Sokka. Though… what would you do, if I had said it?" Ursa asked. Sokka's eyebrow twitched as he glared at her distastefully.

"Honestly? Probably scooped her up and ran for the hills before either of us did anything we'd regret, whether to you or to guards or whoever came to get her," Sokka said. "But you won't do that, then?"

"No. I… no one can take her to that place anymore to begin with, I thought Zuko would've told you about that. But more than that, I know I've failed her, Sokka, but I want to do better. I want to do right by her," Ursa said, earnestly. Sokka raised an eyebrow, puzzled by what Ursa had implied about the asylum, but choosing to focus on Azula instead. "Even if I have no idea how, right now. But… I'm done running away. I'm responsible for my daughter. I can do better for her sake. I want to. I just… don't even know where to start."

"Saying you'll come back tomorrow is a good start, I think," Sokka said. "Not wanting her hunted down… that's also good. But she's going to need much more than that. And mind you… while I'm willing to try to smooth some things over, I'm her ally, not yours. I'm with her. Don't ask me to help you build bridges between you two. It'll only anger her more."

"I understand," Ursa said, breathing deeply and nodding. "Thank you, Sokka. For your candidness… and for helping Azula as you have. I… well, I don't really know what kind of relationship you have, it seems to be, well…"

"We're not really sure yet either," Sokka admitted, cheeks red. "But we'll figure it out."

"I hope so. Just… take care of her," Ursa whispered. "None of us have, so far. I know I ask for more than I have any right to… most of all when I'm to blame for so many of her sorrows. But… don't leave her alone. Stay with her. Stand by her side and… and make sure she knows she can be loved. It won't be easy… but if she's already opened up this much to you, and you understand each other well, then… as long as she has you, she might just find true happiness, true peace, one day."

"I intend to bring them to her, yeah," Sokka said, with a small smile. "As much as I don't know what we are yet… I do know I would spend my life with her. I've only done it for a few months and I can't imagine my future without her in it anymore."

"That's… that's marvelous," Ursa smiled warmly, nodding at him. "Then… go. Go to her now and… and let her see that she's not alone. I'll go, and I'll come in the morning again. What I have in mind might not work out, but if it does, maybe… maybe I can start building those bridges after all."

"If you already have a plan in mind… that's good," Sokka said, smiling a little. Ursa nodded. "Good luck, then. See you in the morning."

"Have a good night, Sokka."

She was shockingly civil for someone who had just faced so many harsh accusations from her daughter, Sokka thought… accusations that might not have been off-base at all. But Sokka couldn't help but worry about Azula anyway: she wasn't fine, not only because of Ursa…

But because of Yue.

He found the Princess in her own room, unused as it had been, sitting in a corner, hugging her legs to her chest. He sighed, approaching her and taking his seat by the edge of the mattress.

"She's gone," Sokka said. Azula winced. "Says she'll be back in the morning, though."

"Right. As if," Azula said, shivering. "Doesn't even matter if she does, because I… S-Sokka, just… go back to your room. Go and…"

"Azula," Sokka sighed, as Azula sobbed and shook her head. "I know what's wrong now. At least, I think I do and…"

"Did you so much as think about her at all? Did she even cross your mind?" Azula snarled, raising her head, glaring at him almost accusingly. Sokka grimaced. "Because… she didn't cross mine at all. I bloody went into the water for the mirror and then… and then I forgot all about her. I was just so lost in what we did, what we had, how I was completely swept up by the whirlwind of it all and…!"

"I did think about her."

Azula froze, staring at Sokka in confusion and chagrin. Sokka climbed off the bed, kneeling before her.

"I knew what I was doing every step of the way," Sokka said. Azula's jaw dropped. "Problem is... you seem to think I'm not over Yue. And that's not true… not the way you think it is, anyway."

"The hell does that mean?" Azula said. "W-well, even if you're over her, you…!"

"I was in a relationship for ten years with another woman, Azula. If Yue didn't hate Suki, why would she hate you?" he asked. Azula scoffed.

"Because Suki didn't even know her! I… I'm the only person she can talk to! I'm the only one who can see her! I've spent all this time telling myself that no matter how many times you bat your eyelashes at me, how often you make it look like you want me just as much as I wanted you, it could never happen! I refused to be… t-to be a traitor. To hurt my… my friend. She is my friend, and I… I betrayed her."

"You didn't betray anyone," Sokka sighed, but Azula shook her head. "Azula, this between you and me isn't some wild affair behind my wife's back: Yue and I were kids! I loved her, yes, but how am I supposed to know if things between her and I would have lasted? Maybe Arnook would've shut things down if Yue hadn't sacrificed herself! Maybe he wouldn't have accepted a man of the Southern Water Tribe marrying his daughter! Maybe she would have changed her mind and found someone else… hell, she was supposed to marry someone else! And she was kissing me anyway, and leading me on, and spending time with me and then breaking my heart every time she walked away by telling me this thing between us couldn't last!"

Azula stared at him in astonishment after his tirade finished. Sokka breathed deeply, hands trembling as he struggled not to reach for hers until he knew for sure that he could do it.

"I told you already… I'm not traveling with you, I didn't join your journey, because I thought I'd get Yue back as a result," he said. "This is…"

"About doing right by her?" Azula cut him off, startling Sokka. "Do tell, how exactly are you and I doing right by her when I…? I can't even fathom… she must have noticed what happened. When we cleaned up, at least, there was water and I didn't even look. A mirror, surely, and I was so swept up with you that I couldn't…! I forgot all about her! Just like my mother forgot me!"

"Well, you're not Yue's mother…"

"No, I'm her friend! Her only friend!" Azula nearly screamed, shivering. "And I stabbed her in the back with you. Not because you think it was fine does it mean it really was. This isn't… it's not excusable. It's not forgivable! If everything was different, if she hadn't become the Moon Spirit, she would be with you! And then, you would have never taken one look at me because you would've been all about her! And I might as well have died alone, without anyone ever saying those damn words to me, without ever knowing what it felt like to… to connect with anyone! To feel like I was real, for once in my damn miserable life…! Like I… l-like I actually mattered. Like I…"

Sokka huffed, shaking his head and staring at Azula sternly. She didn't meet his gaze, hands going up to her hair.

"I'm… I'm unforgivable," Azula said.

"You think Yue would want me to live my entire life without experiencing anything properly just because I can't be with her?" Sokka asked. Azula laughed.

"I know I would… if I were in her shoes. I'm selfish like that, don't you know?" Azula said, glaring at him again. Sokka snarled.

"Selfish? If you were selfish you wouldn't be grieving for Yue's potentially broken heart as you are right now," Sokka said. "You'd have gone to a mirror to rub in her face that you've gone further with me than she ever had a chance to. You could do that, couldn't you? So why aren't you?"

"What kind of… unreasonable bastard are you?" Azula asked, glaring at him. Sokka raised his eyebrows.

"What? Want me to bring you some water, then, so you can do it?" he asked.

"I'd throw it at your face if you did," Azula hissed. Sokka smirked.

"And then I'd take you into my arms anyway. And if there were a reflection upon the water you flung at me, she'd see everything we're doing…"

"She wouldn't…! Not like that! She wouldn't see from the reflection of water on your body just because…!" Azula scoffed. Sokka chuckled, rising to his full height. She snarled, pushing herself up as she supported herself on the wall. "What the hell has gotten into you?"

"What? That I know you're wrong, that's what," Sokka said, with a careless shrug. "About everything, actually."

"The hell is that supposed to mean?" Azula snarled.

"I know Yue doesn't hate you because you and I have any manner of connection or relationship," Sokka said, firmly. "Toph was standing near the cell for a very long time, you know? While you confessed all the things you did. The mirror was in Toph's pocket then, and Yue surely overheard what you said. Before that? You set the mirror down that night, when we were drunk. We talked, and I said you were beautiful. She must have heard all of that, you were close enough that she would have…"

"Shut up…" Azula said, eyes widening.

"What did she say about any of those things?" Sokka asked, raising his eyebrows.

"She must have missed it…!" Azula said. Sokka smirked.

"Or she didn't. And she just… didn't hate you for it."

"That's not…!" Azula exclaimed, glaring at him in disbelief. "If that were the case, she'd be even more foolish than I thought! Who the hell would think it's fine for their best friend to sleep with the man they love?! What kind of…?!"

"Maybe the kind of person who knows that their material life had to be sacrificed, and who cherishes the people they left behind, and hopes they can live on to their full potential, whether they're around not!" Sokka exclaimed. Azula's eyes widened. "And mind you, I wouldn't call that foolish. I'd call that… wisdom. Soulfulness. Compassion. But I bet you think… it's just pity, right? All over again?"

"I didn't say that," Azula hissed. Sokka huffed. "I don't believe you."

"Then she's been lying about how miserable she is about you and me?" Sokka said, raising his eyebrows. "You're going to accuse her of lying again? Well, then, why do you care?"

"What do you mean, why do I care?" Azula scoffed. "Why wouldn't I care? What kind of monster do you think I am that…?"

"If she's lying to you, and pretending something's fine when it's not, maybe it's on her for not making things clear in the first place," Sokka said. Azula winced.

"Or maybe it's on me to not hurt someone the exact same way I was hurt? How is this so hard to understand, Sokka? Are you that eager to get back to where we left off?" Azula asked, eyes wide. "Men. Guess it's true that's the only thing you think about."

"Find Yue," Sokka said, firmly. Azula shook her head. "Talk to her. Hear what she actually has to say…"

"I won't."

"Azula…"

"I won't look in a mirror! I won't look at liquids, or metal, or… or even go to sleep!" Azula exclaimed. Sokka frowned. "I'm not seeing her again. I refuse. I couldn't possibly…! What kind of shameless piece of shit would I have to be to just go up to her and try to make her understand just why I made you cheat with…!"

"It's impossible to make you understand, is it?" Sokka sighed. "You really think that, across the ten years I spent with Suki, I was cheating on Yue?"

Azula shivered. She shook her head, glaring pointedly at the floor.

"I already told you… it's different because of… of the connection I have with Yue. Suki didn't have that," Azula said, closing her eyes. "As I do… as she's the sole reason why you're even here to begin with, I can't… can't disrespect her like that. I can't shame her, I can't…"

"Then say all that to her face," Sokka suggested. Azula frowned. "You know that's what friends do? They own up to their fuckups and accept whatever punishment they're deemed worthy of…"

"I don't need you to patronize me or lecture me about basic nonsense anyone knows," Azula hissed. "I said I don't want to see her. And she'd better not want to see me, either."

"What if she does?" Sokka asked. Azula snarled. "You can't run away from her forever and you know it. Even if you covered every cup of water you drink, she'd be able to speak to you as she has so far. Even if you stay awake for ten days, you'll end up passing out of exhaustion sooner than later. One way or another, Azula…"

"I don't…!" Azula gritted her teeth. "I'll just walk away! I'll leave you here, and when I have to face her again, I can do it by telling her that I'll never see you again!"

"Ah. Is that how it is?" Sokka asked, raising his eyebrows. Azula winced, covering her mouth with a hand. "Okay, then. Go on ahead and leave… but ask yourself why, exactly, you're crying just to think of doing that."

Azula winced again: her hand forcefully wiped the tear that spilled down her face, and Sokka approached her again, almost pinning her to the wall anew. Azula glared at him begrudgingly… not knowing whether she wanted him to leave or stay more.

"I don't want to go anywhere," Sokka told her, bluntly. "I wasn't lying earlier. You told me you were too complicated, too difficult to love? Well, I'm sure this is what you meant. And you know what? I'm ready to face it. To chase you all across the world if I must. To have my heart broken time and again… and even then, I won't give up on you. I gave up on Yue because of her duty, because she asked me to let go: I refuse to do the same with you. I learned my lesson. I'll be selfish… and I'll keep you to myself."

"I thought… you'd said this would be on my terms," Azula said, frowning. Sokka breathed deeply. "If my terms stipulate that you'd better get lost…"

"You'll have to convince me that's what you want," Sokka said. "You're supposed to be a better liar than that."

Azula gritted her teeth: Sokka leaned closer, a hand above her on the wall. She shook her head.

"Get out," she said. Sokka pressed his brow to hers.

"I won't leave you," he whispered. Azula snarled, more tears blooming in her eyes.

"You'll regret it if you don't," she said, with a slight sob. "I already regret enough things as it is…"

"I regret enough things too. Like not running to you in Omashu as soon as I saw how beautiful you were," Sokka said. Azula winced, confused by his claim. "Or fighting you when I had to, when I just wanted to get to know your name. Or resisting against you, when all I wanted to do was surrender. Pinning you to walls without kissing you senseless… leaving you behind in prisons, or temples, instead of reaching out to you and hoping you'd want to come along."

"I wouldn't have. Ever;" Azula said, firmly.

"No, you wouldn't have," Sokka said, with a smirk. "But I should have tried, anyway."

Azula gritted her teeth: he was infuriating. The way he spoke, the way he looked at her… all of it urged her to do the one thing she was resisting constantly, more so upon remembering, realizing, what a betrayal she had committed against Yue. But that was just who she was, wasn't it? The shameless fool who hurt everyone she cared for, who kept proving over and over that she wasn't worth their time… their love.

She snarled, raising her hands to grab Sokka's shirt. The expression on his eyes gave away that he expected her to shove him off, to reject him even though he intended to stay near her, to ensure she wouldn't run away or do anything reckless…

But she could certainly do something insanely reckless by pushing him violently.

Sokka gasped, falling heavily on his back on the bed.

A moment later, Azula climbed over him, her mouth ravenously claiming his.

It was just one last go… one final taste of the forbidden. What was one more? She was a traitor already. She had done something unforgivable as it was. If Yue would forgive her for the first slight, she'd have to forgive the second one too. If she wouldn't forgive her at all, what did it matter, in the end, if she fell into bed with him a second time?

She would be selfish. She would peel off his clothes, she would kiss him fiercely, she would devour his body much as he would do the same to hers, and then they would grind together lustfully, recklessly, knowing their time was limited, that every second that passed as they were entangled together brought them closer to the last. Her body shouldn't have been able to take it, after so much passion and excitement from mere hours ago… but she gave herself to him, regardless, one more time, and then another, and then…

She fell asleep in his arms. She couldn't tell he wasn't even close to dozing off yet once she was unconscious, eyes still open for a while longer as he clung to her firmly, refusing to let her go.

________________

The dark forces gripped her, holding her down, as they always did. Her hair no longer properly groomed, instead running loosely, spilling white, all around her body. But it was paler than before. Everything was darker, as though the restraints were spreading from farther away from where they had begun…

Azula gasped. She was part of this, whatever it was. She could feel Yue's lifeforce, somehow, beating in her own heart. Her guilt reared its head, but it grew even worse at the sight of her in such distress…

"Yue," she called: the Water Tribe Princess raised her head, her blue eyes meeting hers. "Yue… I…!"

"Go," Yue said, her voice tender and earnest. "Leave, before he returns. Go. I'll be fine."

"What? N-no, I… I can get you out. I will get you out, I… I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I…"

A cruel cackle: Yue's face paled further. Azula winced, recognizing the panic in Yue's features. She shook her head.

"Wake up. Wake up. Azula, please wake up…!"

"Yuuuueeeee!"

Azula gasped awake, eyes flying fully open after that unsettling vision… a stranger vision than any that had preceded it. She had never taken such physical shape within dreams… Yue had told her to leave…? To leave before someone else came back? She frowned, uncertainty gripping her chest as deep dread and fear swirled in her gut…

Sokka's arms were still firm around her, but Azula slipped out of his grip without much struggle, if only because he was heavily asleep by now, having passed out at some point after she did.

She couldn't fight the swirling fear in her heart right now, though. Even if she hadn't meant to do this, she had to right now. She would bear with the judgment and the hatred… but she needed to make sure Yue wasn't in danger.

Never had her dreams found any follow up in reality: too often she had seen Yue in darkness, particularly at first. Slowly, the dreams had shifted and she would be restrained by darkness, instead… but seldom would she speak. Never would she express that someone was a threat to Azula's safety. And that shrill laughter, then the deep voice calling her name at the end… they had felt inhumane. Surreal, unnatural…

She pulled her sleeping gown, dressing herself hastily in it and nothing else, before rushing to the bathroom. Dread swirled and threatened to break her as she finally reached the room… as she glanced into the mirror.

A perfectly well-groomed Yue, with no restraints to speak of, smiled at her when Azula finally raised her gaze.

"You… you're okay?" Azula asked. Yue smiled.

"Azula," she said, simply. "Isn't it late? You should be sleeping right now."

"I… I was. I just… had a dream. About you," Azula admitted, frowning. "I didn't really want to see you, whether in dreams or not, but…"

"Oh… huh," Yue said, eyeing her mournfully. "Well, you don't have to talk with me if you'd rather not do it. But I always like talking to you. What happened?"

"Nothing's… no. Sokka is right. Sokka… the bastard is always right when it comes to this kind of shit and I hate that about him, I…" Azula said, covering her face with her hands. "Yue, I'm sorry. I… I'm really sorry. I… I betrayed you."

"Me?" Yue asked, perplexed. "How, exactly…?"

"I… I was intimate with him. With Sokka." Azula gritted her teeth hugging herself, unable to hide the shame. "I was weak! He's… he's far more charming than he has any right to be, and he's affectionate, and kind, and I… I haven't had anyone show me that sort of kindness before. The way he reads me so clearly, the way he challenges me, it all just blurred and blinded me to the fact that… that this would be awful for you. And he says… surely you've overheard things. That you know that he and I… t-that we were fighting some damnable attraction for all this time. But we gave up like fools, and… and I should have told you about this. No, I just…! I shouldn't have done it at all."

Yue remained silent, watching Azula apprehensively. The Fire Nation Princess snarled, shaking her head.

"This isn't what… what a friend should do. I know it's not. I'm not a good friend, Yue. I'm not. You deserve better than this and… and he's an idiot. He deserves better than me too, but hey, if he was down for betraying you this way too? He definitely isn't worthy of you either. No more than I am. So… I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

She had made mistakes she couldn't take back. She had done terrible things Yue would never truly forgive her for. Unfortunately, Yue was still stuck with her despite that…

"It won't happen again," Azula swore, tears surging in her eyes as she said the words. "I… I will know my place. I won't slip up like that again, I promise, I…"

"Azula…" Yue called her, her voice carrying a strange, unusual tone with it. Azula swallowed hard, daring gaze up at the girl in the mirror…

Her expression wasn't that of outrage, or displeasure. Instead, it was…

"How was it?"

Curiosity. That's what it was.

Azula gawked at Yue as her jaw dropped. Yue shifted in place, blue eyes gleaming eagerly in the light of dawn as she waited for Azula to share…

"W-what the fuck? What did you just…? How was it?" Azula asked. Yue pouted. "Are you for real?!"

"I am! I never got that far with Sokka, evidently!" Yue pouted. "We were too young and there was no time and… you know, if I had lived long enough, I would have been happy to test those waters, but it never did happen. So, well, I thought I'd ask you! I hope he was a good lover…"

"You cannot be serious," Azula said: the dread that swirled in her gut seemed to freeze over. Yue blinked blankly.

"Why not? You just slept with him, why would you think I wouldn't be serious about it if you just did it…?" Yue huffed. "And don't start with your silly claims of having higher standards than I do: you're the one who slept with him after all."

"I…! Why are you acting like it doesn't matter that I did this?" Azula asked.

"What? Of course it matters!" Yue exclaimed. "It's very important and I'm really, really… curious. Intrigued. I really wondered if you'd share… but, well, other than a couple of glimpses of you two in the bathroom, I didn't get to see much…"

"T-that's…! That's private! What were you looking at?!" Azula exclaimed, cheeks flushed. Yue chuckled, covering her mouth with a hand.

"Honestly, I was a little curious about a lot of things," she laughed. "But I admit, it got a little too intense after a moment so I covered my eyes and then you were out of my field of vision when you were washing up or so. I only overheard a lot of kissing, and funny moans, and…"

"You might as well just kill me now. Smite me with your moon powers so I can get out of this conversation, please," Azula said, hiding her face behind her hands. Yue giggled.

"You don't understand?" Yue asked. Azula shook her head.

"You love him," Azula said, firmly. "He was supposed to be yours."

"He wasn't supposed to be anyone's," Yue said. Azula frowned. "That's… that's not how love works, Azula. It's up to Sokka to decide who he wants to be with. And right now… it looks like he really, really likes you! I really hope you two will be a great match…"

"Why?" Azula said, her heart pounding in her chest. "Yue, w-why would you…? Please tell me you understand why this makes no sense to me. I… I'm your friend, aren't I? Your first friend, you said? Why would you…?"

Yue gazed at her in perplexity… and then Azula's words seemed to sink in.

She smiled.

"Well… you're not wrong: I love Sokka," Yue said, earnestly. "But… I guess what you don't realize is that I love you too."

Azula froze. Her eyes widened, and she took a step back. Yue smiled warmly, hands by her chest.

"The truth is… well, I might have known more about what was happening between you sooner than you or Sokka knew I did," she said, with a guilty smile. "It's not just what I've overheard of you two when you thought I wasn't listening… it's how much I've grown to know you both. And you know what? I… I know you better than I know Sokka, actually. I didn't realize how little I knew of him until this journey started. I've come to learn so much more of him, of the man he has become, than I ever imagined…"

"Because of this trip?" Azula asked, perplexed. "But even then… you loved him before, didn't you?"

"I looked forward to getting to know more about him. To finding out if… if we were truly a good match or not," Yue laughed, with a shrug. "That can't be anymore. It has been the case for well over ten years now. When he first started out with Suki, well… I saw him hesitate. At first, I was jealous, yes, but… when he pulled away, I realized what the memory of me might do to him, if he couldn't move on. At that point… I couldn't be selfish. I didn't want to be. Instead… I hoped for his happiness. I knew it wasn't up to me to grant it to him anymore… but I hoped Suki could. And then it turned out that she didn't, to both of our surprises… but you? You… you and Sokka are better suited for each other than I ever imagined. So… maybe you're the answer, Azula."

"I… I'm not the answer for anyone. For anything," Azula said, tears spilling down her cheeks again. "It shouldn't be me, Yue, it should be…"

"Nobody gets to decide what should or shouldn't be," Yue said, firmly, if kindly. "Sokka has spent years suffering the guilt over failing to save me in the North Pole, for not defeating Admiral Zhao before he could kill Tui. Do you think it was his fault? Do you think Admiral Zhao was fated to do that, just as he pretended he was?"

"I… I don't know. I… I hope not. I don't think you could have ever been fated to just… die," Azula said, snarling. Yue smiled kindly at her.

"Nobody gets to decide what fate will turn out like for us," she said. "And if it was my fate to live my life with him, and misfortune changed that… then I want Sokka to find happiness in his life, all the same. I want him to find love… and I know he found exactly what he was looking for with you."

"I'm not… n-not worthy of this. Of your understanding," Azula said, covering her face with her hands. "I've been breaking things, constantly, hurting people deliberately, doing awful things without fail…! Why are you so compassionate? Why can you look me in the eye without… without disdain? Without hating me?"

"Because I love you," Yue said again, warmly. Azula shivered, shaking her head. "Because I see you, Azula… I see you so much more clearly than you think I can, stuck in these mirrors and bodies of water and metal. I really do. I've seen the kindness you don't want anyone to witness… the vulnerable sides you hide from those who would exploit them. I've seen your helplessness, your need for a purpose, your loneliness! And there's one thing I've never seen, in this year I've spent by your side: I've never seen a monster."

Azula shivered, her hands lowering as she dropped to her knees: suddenly, it was as though she were the teenager, the child, while Yue was the wise, older figure who could offer her guidance, who could show her the way no one else had ever bothered to point her to. Her throat closed in as she broke down in desperate tears…

She wasn't lying. Yue wasn't lying.

Azula crumbled, a hand upon the mirror, as though wanting to reach her… as though wanting to hug the Moon Spirit, offering her the kindness and compassion she had craved desperately, for so long. To think her mistake had been answered this way… as though it were no mistake whatsoever. As though she had made the right choice to fall in love with Sokka.

"I'm here for you," Yue said, warmly, earnestly. "I want you to be happy. I know just how much this means to you, because… it means just as much for me, too. We really do have so many things in common, Azula… down to even loving the same man. How could I ever blame you for feeling the way you do towards him, when I never could hold back, myself?"

She laughed guiltily, kneeling before Azula too. The Fire Nation Princess's dark hair spilled over her features, but when she raised her face, her eyes were earnest, emotionally charged like never before.

"You… you forgive me for this? You won't… w-won't tell me I can't be with him?" Azula asked. "You think I could…?"

Yue smiled tenderly: she raised her hand… and placed it right against hers. Azula's heart jolted for it.

"I'd be cross with you if you decided not to be with him because of me," Yue smirked slightly. "I don't have a chance with him anymore: you do. Don't waste it."

Azula's heart trembled upon hearing those words. Her generosity made no rational sense to her… but it was a shocking revelation, an offer she couldn't refuse… she wasn't strong enough to do it. She wanted Sokka, she craved him… and she didn't want to lose Yue either. She truly didn't want to. She…

She didn't want Yue to leave. After a year of trying to get rid of her… now Azula didn't want her to leave at all.

"I… I've never had a friend like you," Azula admitted, between sobs. Yue smiled kindly.

"And I haven't had one like you, either," Yue said. "It's kind of… thrilling, isn't it? Exciting?"

Azula trembled as she gazed at her friend, between tearful eyes. It looked like Yue was moments away from crying, too.

"I… I'll keep fulfilling your dream. The purpose you gave me. I promise, even if… i-if Sokka and I do go forward like that, I… I won't set you aside," Azula said. "I promise… I'll keep going. I'll do right by you. I'll take you everywhere… we'll see this world together."

"And you'll live all the experiences I couldn't," Yue said, beaming. "You're still in the material world… you really have to make the most of it. Eat all the wonderful foods… and have fun in the craziest places! Katara once talked about otter penguins in the South Pole… you and Sokka should go see them! And maybe even ride them…!"

"That sounds unreal. Riding a penguin…?" Azula repeated, and Yue laughed while nodding enthusiastically.

"She said it was doable, so I hope it is," she said. "You went swimming already, and you tried to build sandcastles…"

"They weren't anything noteworthy," Azula smiled. Yue giggled and shrugged.

"There's bound to be so much more… oh! You promised you'd try to see me in a drink!" Yue exclaimed. Azula laughed. "I want to try that too. Maybe I won't get drunk at all, but I could act like I am, and then maybe it'll be funny anyway."

"It might be," Azula said, earnestly. Yue grinned. "You… you want me to live my life. To… to actually live it, rather than sulking over what I lost, or trying to find petty revenges? To… to finally close the door to those stages of my life that… that no longer can be fixed? You can't reclaim what you lost, and neither can I… but we can look for a new future. Maybe one that… that you could be a part of, too."

"That would be wonderful," Yue said, with a heartfelt, pained smile. "But as it is… I'll just go on and experience life through you, somehow. That's enough for me, for now."

Azula shivered, nodding as she pressed her hand to the reflection of hers. Yue grinned kindly.

"I'm glad…" Yue whispered. "I'm really glad it was you. That the one person who could see me… was you."

Sokka had said those words first. He had told her he was glad Yue had connected to Azula, of all people… Azula's heart pounded heavily in her chest as she felt more tears spilling down her eyes: they loved her. They thought she mattered. They cared about her… in ways no one else ever had.

"I'm glad too," she finally said. "I'm glad I… I'm glad I can see you. I'm glad you're with me. I'm glad you're okay and not… n-not like in my damnable dreams where you're always in pain. I… I won't subject you to my nonsense with Sokka, I promise, but… please, stay with us. Stay. No matter how my bond with him might change, you… you're someone I treasure. I don't even know how it happened, or when, but I just… I really care about you, Yue. I…"

She couldn't believe herself. She laughed, pressing her brow to the glass as she knew the sentiment to be true. To be true to one more person, too, besides the one she would speak it to now. And while the feeling certainly could have different natures, and she was experiencing those differences already, the truth was one and one alone:

"I love you, too."

Yue giggled, beaming brightly upon hearing those words from Azula. The Princess smiled back at her, her tears finally drying as the darkness that wore her out, that dragged her down, seemed to slowly relinquish its grip upon her heart.

Just as the sun was rising, Azula's vision cleared. She saw Yue over her reflection's shoulder, and the heavy guilt, the unpleasant thoughts and emotions that had dragged her down faded away with astounding ease…

"Thank you," Azula said. Yue giggled again.

"I'm the one who's grateful," she said. "Now, though… might be good if you go back to Sokka. He might be scared that you're leaving him if he wakes up without you."

"He… oh, well," Azula smiled warmly. "He'll see that's not the case soon, I guess. I… I'll go fetch the mirror first, though. He threw it somewhere, I hope it didn't break…"

"Oh, I can tell you where it is once you come closer to it, like we did with the coins!" Yue exclaimed, beaming. Azula laughed and nodded.

"Very well."

It was a rather amusing quest, one Azula undertook with a cup of drinking water in her hands. Whenever Yue felt herself slipping into another reflection, she'd let Azula know and the Princess would rummage through the foliage and bushes to look for the mirror… until, at last, they found it sunken halfway into a small cluster of fortunately soft sand. It was intact. Azula grinned at Yue in it, drinking the water to quench her thirst, but not to chase her friend away, unlike how she used to do it before…

She was halfway back into the house, making up her mind to talk to Sokka about what happened with Yue, when she overheard a cluttering sound in the kitchen. The Princess frowned, a sense of dread rising in her chest: well, it was one thing to sort out her problems with Yue and Sokka, a whole other to deal with her mother, the likeliest culprit for those sounds…

At least, she thought so until she reached the kitchen to find Ursa, wearing an apron, her hair fastened awkwardly underneath a bandana, struggling to cook something in the stove.

Azula watched in perplexity, intrigued by her mother's clumsy kitchen work. Apparently, she wasn't a good cook… but how, exactly, had she survived in Hira'a with her new husband without knowing how to do that? Azula watched with confusion after Ursa cracked an egg and dropped half the crust in the frying pan.

"Not again…" she groaned, struggling to remove the crust with her fingertips.

"Guess we have one thing in common after all," Azula said, startling Ursa upon speaking to her. The woman turned nervously, finding Azula with a small smile, almost too small to be noticed, leaning on the door frame.

"Azula?" Ursa whispered her name with uncertainty. "You're… already awake."

"Need to dress up, though. Didn't expect you this early," Azula said, lowering her gaze: strange how her conversation with Yue had placated so much of her strife… to the point where her earlier unwillingness to be anywhere near her mother, and her immense guilt over her longing for Sokka, were suddenly, blissfully, gone… "I'd offer to stick around and help but I wouldn't be much use. All I can do effectively in a kitchen is… pour togarashi chili powder in tea, apparently. The one time I did anything related to cooking and the result was exactly what I intended it to be."

"I… do not follow," Ursa admitted, puzzled. Azula smiled and shook her head.

"I'll be back in a moment," she said. Ursa swallowed hard and nodded.

Sokka was still in bed once Azula returned to her room. She sat by the bedside for a moment, caressing his loose hair, before leaning close to kiss his brow softly.

"Hmm…?" he groaned. Azula smiled.

"Stay in bed. It's okay," she said.

"You okay…? Feels… damn early," Sokka said.

"I'll try and do something about breakfast," she said, brushing his hair out of his face. "You can sleep for a while longer."

"Hmm. 'Kay…" Sokka said, opening one eye and gazing at her with curiosity. "You… alright?"

"I'll explain later," Azula smiled.

She leaned in, and she pressed her lips softly to his. Sokka would truly be confused over her clarity, her tranquility… but he would likely understand where it had come from shortly. First, though, she had to handle her mother… and while she would cherish having Sokka's support during that conversation, it might be better if she faced Ursa alone. She had put Sokka through enough of an emotional ride since the past day, as it was.

"Sleep. I'll come fetch you in a bit."

"Okay…" Sokka said, with a gentle smile. "See you in a bit."

Azula breathed out slowly, watching over him as he closed his eyes again. She truly should tell him soon, too… just as she had told Yue. It was strange, going from never uttering those words to anyone… to suddenly hearing them from two people who had elicited the same feelings inside her, too. Love truly was a confusing, if fascinating thing…

She returned to the kitchen to find her mother anguished by her burning rice this time. Azula sighed, tending the flames and restraining them so Ursa wouldn't struggle as much… but it appeared to be pointless.

"I'm so helpless at chores like these… it's unbefitting of me, I know that, but I truly thought…" Ursa sighed.

"Did you not cook when you were living in Hira'a?" Azula asked "Or did you swap out memories somehow? While you're Noriko, you don't remember Ursa, and while you're Ursa…"

"No, no, I remember everything from both lives right now. Which means I remember I was in charge of cleaning while Noren handled the food," Ursa said, with a guilty smile. Azula laughed softly. "I hope Sokka is a better cook than us, if you truly aren't much of one, yourself."

"He's… not," Azula admitted, with a guilty chuckle. Ursa sighed, shaking her head.

"Well, may you always have ready foods to eat whenever you're hungry, if cooking is too hard," Ursa said. "I… well, wanted to make some things that aren't working out, of course. I'll keep trying, though! I brought many ingredients…"

"You really didn't have to bother," Azula said, taking her seat by the kitchen's table: Ursa truly had brought a pile of ingredients with her, most of them resting on the table in question.

"You may say that, but… I disagree," Ursa said, proudly. "I wanted to make… well, spice rice."

"Spice rice?" Azula raised her eyebrows, turning towards Ursa in confusion. "For breakfast?"

"I know, I know… a complicated conundrum," Ursa smiled guiltily. "I remember you asked for it, once. When we were staying in this house, during vacations. I told you spice rice was a meal for lunch or dinner, not breakfast…"

"And then we didn't have it for lunch, or dinner anyway," Azula remarked, with a slight pout. "Was it because you couldn't cook it?"

"More… because I had other ideas for meals in mind," Ursa confessed. Azula raised an eyebrow. "Servants helped with our meals back then, as you'll recall… I didn't really have to make anything. But I was terribly stubborn about certain things… still am, I suppose. And instead of listening to you… I did whatever I cared to and thought you were the selfish one instead."

Azula's eyes widened. Ursa sighed, smiling sadly at her.

"I won't ask you to forgive me, Azula. The spirits know I'm truly sorry, and that you're not wrong about so much of what you said last night," she said. "I knew I wasn't the best mother I could have been… but the true extent of the harm I caused you had never truly sunken in. If you felt any guilt over what you said, or how you said it… I assure you, you had every right to be as clear, as forthright, as you were. It was time I stopped pretending that I could hide from my worst mistakes the way I have for over a decade now."

"Well… that's not really what I expected to hear, but I'd rather hear that than 'you're just unreasonable and unfair', or so," Azula said, watching as Ursa sighed, stepping closer to her, standing beside her by the table.

"I don't want you to think I have excuses. Nothing I say would ever justify what I did to you, or what I didn't do, as the case might be," Ursa said. "But… the truth is, my failure to resolve our conflicts has been taking a greater toll on me than I was ready to acknowledge."

"That so?" Azula asked, raising an eyebrow. Ursa offered her a sad smile before pulling up a chair, too.

"You wondered… why I'm alone in Ember Island?"

Azula frowned: she wasn't sure that any answer to that question would satisfy her, or aid her mother's case…

"Thing is… I thought I could sort out this emptiness inside me," Ursa smiled, shaking her head as she gestured at her chest. "I thought I could do it by… by confronting your father. By visiting him in prison and telling him exactly what kind of heinous monster he was. By calling out what a selfish, heartless bastard he had been, and how he had hurt our children without remorse… I was right about everything I said, of course. And at first, I felt better. A slight relief, maybe, enough that I could hold Kiyi again without the same kind of dread as before…

"But a week later, it was back. Even if Kiyi didn't hate me as much for no longer being the mother she remembered, the unsettling feeling inside my gut couldn't seem to go away. And my mind kept returning to that moment, to standing at his prison cell, speaking out as I did… his accusing glare gave away that he didn't care about any of what I was saying. As though he thought it was… well, rich, I suppose, that I would say any of that. And once I realized why that bothered me… it hit me that every word I'd spoken against your father could so very easily be turned against me."

Azula froze, a fist tightening over her lap. Ursa gazed at her remorsefully.

"He was selfish… but so was I," Ursa said. "He was a monster? Well… a mother who forsakes her children ought to proudly own up to being one, too. I left you with the monster, too, so… I'm not blameless. I'm not simply his victim… I'm responsible for the pain you and Zuko felt under his control. And what's more, when it comes down to it… I'm to blame for so much more than that. I didn't do right by you, Azula, not even as you were a child. I… I painted a target on Zuko's back that caused Ozai to treat him as though he weren't his son! I… I could've done so many things differently, and I didn't. So, with so much that weighed on me, what right do I have to judge anyone else? Even if nothing I did compares to waging war upon the world… ultimately, I was far from the best person to pass judgment on Ozai when I was his accomplice at times, a willing witness, even…"

"Were you truly that?" Azula asked, perplexed. Ursa shrugged.

"I don't think anyone would judge it any differently than that, considering it was by my poison that your grandfather was killed," Ursa said. Azula's eyes widened.

"Huh. Well, then… that's somewhat close to what I suspected, I suppose," Azula said, frowning.

"Do I really get the right to pass judgment on anyone else when I'm responsible for something so heinous? I kept giving your father weapons to use as he pleased… even when you and Zuko weren't weapons at all, that's all he ever saw you as," Ursa said, shaking her head. "And while I doubt I could have stopped him, even if I'd tried… the truth is that I never really did. I pretended you would be safe because he preferred you over your brother… that you were no cause for concern when that couldn't have been further from the truth. I abandoned you, and… I can't even make up for it. I can't turn back time to fix that. My guilt, my remorse, my misery… Noren and Kiyi don't understand it. Zuko? Oh, he's… he's even worse, I'm afraid."

"Zuko is?" Azula asked, perplexed. Ursa shook her head.

"He has bottled up his feelings about what I did. He acts like he's fine with it. If he truly is, he's in dire need for a rude awakening," Ursa whispered. "And if he's not fine? Then he ought to do what you did and just… tell me everything. Just like Ozai does."

"Ozai?" Azula repeated, her chest tightening at the present way her mother spoke his name… she had never felt quite such sense of dread upon thinking of her father before. "What do you mean, 'does'? Do you…?"

"Do I visit him, still?" Ursa said, with a helpless smile. "Weekly. Sometimes more often than that."

"W-why? Why would you…?" Azula grimaced.

"Because he's the only person who won't mind my feelings and will tell me everything he thinks of me," Ursa laughed, smiling helplessly. "Despicable as he is… he's so much more honest than everyone else. And I need to hear the truth… I need it so badly, Azula. I'd rather be called every insult, every name he can think of, because I can just go ahead and do it right back at him. It's twisted, it's messed up… but I feel so much more alive, so much more real when I'm there, facing my true sins and flaws instead of pretending I never did anything wrong and that Zuko is right to act as though that's the case. When I sit at home, with Noren and Kiyi… they don't understand that I don't belong there. That I'm not Noriko anymore… not the person they need me to be. And the truth is… I don't even know who I am. Not anymore."

"And you came to Ember Island thinking you'd figure it out?" Azula asked. Ursa sighed.

"I come to Ember Island whenever I'm… overwhelmed, I guess, with the pretenses and the undeserved peace," she said. "They're used to it by now. I've been doing it for years. I take breaks… I try to meditate here, and then inevitably return to bad habits upon returning to the Capital. I know I should stop visiting Ozai, but… it's hard to help it. It's twisted to find that I appreciate him far more now than I ever did when he wasn't behind bars…"

"Well. Nice to know my parents are getting along great lately by screaming and calling names at each other," Azula said, crooking an eyebrow. Ursa sighed, with a hopeless smile.

"I wish I knew… how to do away with this strange urge to be around something that punishes me. I want to make use of this guilt, Azula… to turn it into something useful instead of moping with it or making anyone uncomfortable. You, in particular, I… I want to help you. I want to fix what I broke. I can't really do it, I know I can't… but I wish I could. If I can't do anything about the past, maybe I can about the future, I thought, but… that hinges on whether you'd ever want me to be part of it, too."

"Of my future?" Azula asked. "You do remember that I'm a wanted criminal, right?"

"I intend to have a word with your brother about that as soon as possible," Ursa said, with a frown. "He told me he was hunting you down to bring you home, strictly that. This you said about… his bounty hunters killing you? I cannot possibly fathom… I will have words with him about that, I promise."

"Well… if he'd listen to someone, it'd be you, I think, but who knows," Azula sighed, running a hand over her hair. "He thought I'd captured Sokka, so he thought I deserved to die for it, apparently. Dead or alive, says the poster…"

"Unbelievable," Ursa scowled.

"I had no intentions of letting him get to me. Though I don't know what else awaits me in the future besides… well, traveling more. Yue would want to…"

"Yue?"

Azula gritted her teeth: this would be difficult. She wasn't exactly trying to argue that her mental health was fine, but her mother was bound to want to lock her up in that asylum again if she thought she was hallucinating once more…

But she had to be honest. Ursa had been, so far. She might just surprise her.

"I told you I… I'd seen you in visions and dreams and reflections, right?" Azula said. Ursa nodded. "I was… well, in a bad place. After I found out the truth about you? Well, that ended. I didn't see you anywhere anymore. It helped, admittedly… I was no longer plagued by some random delusion telling me my future was going to be glorious… felt like even the hallucination had given up on me, heh. But then, about a year ago… I started seeing another person. Someone I didn't know. And it's… well, the Moon Spirit. Princess Yue."

Ursa frowned, though not with disgust. She seemed intrigued, instead.

"Sokka… well, he had a short-lived relationship with her, when they were teenagers. She died to take the Moon Spirit's place after Zhao killed it," Azula explained. Ursa gasped, covering her mouth with a hand. "So, well, she's a sixteen-year-old girl, basically, and she's been showing up in every reflection I see. In dreams, too, even if not all of them. At first, I just… wanted to get rid of her. But then, after I bumped into Sokka in the north? The two of them convinced me that if we tried to fulfill all of Yue's final wishes, mainly to see the world through our travels, well… we might just be able to offer her the peace she needs so she can return to her duties as the Moon Spirit properly, and the moon can glow fully again in the sky."

"Is that why… it's been so faded?" Ursa asked. Azula nodded. "My goodness…"

"I've… stopped causing as much trouble with my antics lately because I've been busy with this. Though, uh, I did cause a slight mishap in Ba Sing Se," Azula admitted, with an awkward smile. "That's what I was talking about earlier. I, uh, sabotaged one of Iroh's workdays by briefly infiltrating his teashop and pouring spice in all his teacups…"

"Azula…!" Ursa gasped. Azula smiled guiltily and shrugged.

"I don't have any excuses. It was a petty revenge, and I thought it was funny at the time…"

"It… oh, goodness, all those customers…" Ursa gasped, running a hand over her hair. Azula snickered. "You're so mischievous still, goodness, but… that's not exactly an act of terrorism. Just… a prank."

"Well, thank you. If Zuko returns to the Palace by the time you get there, please advocate in my defense by saying so," Azula smiled. "I got captured for it, Sokka and his friend Toph broke me out eventually. He and I ran away, and I suppose Zuko showed up at some point after we left and sent his soldiers after us. We figured, once Yue asked to see the summer, that we could come to the Fire Nation to show her the place while Zuko wasn't around… I didn't exactly intend to bump into you."

"Nor I into you… but I'm glad I did," Ursa said, warmly. Azula sighed.

"This is our most civilized conversation for as long as we've known each other, isn't it?" she said. Ursa smiled sadly and nodded.

"I'm afraid so," she said. "I'm glad you've found Sokka, and Yue… that they're both helping you. Maybe I wouldn't have been as effective as they have been… doesn't change that I should have tried anyway. But that you have such good friends is… uh, well. I suppose Sokka is more than a friend…"

"I don't know what's going on any more than you do, so… don't overthink it," Azula said, cheeks flushing. Ursa laughed.

"Well, as long as you're happy…" she said. "If you want any advice…"

"Relationship advice? From you?" Azula asked. Ursa shrugged.

"Learn to cook," she said. Azula snorted and laughed. "Also? If some prince tries to steal you away from him, well… don't let him."

"I have the feeling Sokka would be too threatening for anyone to… well, I'm too threatening for anyone who would want to take me anywhere," Azula said, rolling her eyes. "In itself… I have no idea how he's ever convinced himself that I'm worth, well, everything he's done for me. He had a life of his own, and he gave up on it fully just to join me on this journey."

"Maybe, just as he's helping you figure out who you are, you're helping him do the same thing without your awareness," Ursa smiled fondly at her. Azula raised her eyebrows. "That would be suitable, I hope. He's definitely taken with you."

"And like I said, I have no idea how," Azula shook her head. "I haven't been exactly the sweetest person in the world…"

"He might like you better because you're not," Ursa suggested. Azula laughed, shrugging at her idea.

"He's weird if that's how it is, but fine," she said, cheeks still red over discussing her romantic attachments in this way, and to discuss it with her mother, of all things… "You… you feel lost too, though? That's why you came here?"

"Well, yes, but… focus on yourself, Azula. If I never sort out whatever's messed up in my head, it'll be nothing less than I deserve," Ursa said, with a defeated smile.

"You're not serious," Azula sighed. "You… you could come with us too."

Ursa's eyes widened. Azula grimaced, rubbing the bridge of her nose after words she hadn't intended to say spilled out of her mouth.

"I mean… you and I probably have more things to talk about and resolve. And I would expect you to handle it with full honesty too, just as I'll be as blunt as you need me to be. If you're getting nowhere with Father, and of course you aren't… well, you could join us, maybe. Sokka might be fine with… w-well, I mean, we'll behave ourselves. I'm sure that he can show some restraint…"

"Hopefully," Ursa laughed. "Though, truly, I welcome the offer, but I wouldn't want to tag along just like that, Azula. I'm not sure where I'd fit in your group, and I really wouldn't want to cause you any trouble…"

"You wouldn't, I think, but… maybe it's time we stop screaming at each other and start actually looking for solutions," Azula decided: she didn't know where this good-natured, reasonable behavior was coming from… but she guessed it might just be Yue's influence, shining through her in its own way.

"You… you're sure?" Ursa asked, with a small smile. "I… well, wait. I might need to make a more compelling argument yet to truly earn joining you on this journey."

"What?" Azula smirked, as Ursa excitedly rummaged through her bags, the numerous shopping goods she had brought… before depositing a box in front of Azula.

"I would try to make them myself, but… I don't know how, as you've noticed. And I really didn't want to mess that up, particularly," Ursa smiled. Azula frowned, reaching for the box and opening it.

"You did not…" she gasped.

A cluster of mochi sat snugly inside the box, catching the fallen Princess by surprise entirely. Ursa laughed.

"You were going to buy me over with mochi. You… you are dangerous. Clever. I definitely take after you, this is the most effective manipulation technique anyone's used on me," Azula said: her stomach growled, and she only realized how hungry she was now that she had a chance to eat mochi to her heart's content.

"Try to… pace yourself. But it's okay if you don't, too," Ursa smiled sadly. "I owe you quite a lot of mochi, for all the times I forbade you from eating any. Those stomachaches of your childhood were something to behold…"

"They may have been, but this is… oh, I'm not holding back. I'm not strong enough. Sorry," Azula shook her head, picking up the first mochi and nearly dropping fully on the table in sheer bliss at the taste. "Coerced… by mochi. I'm so easily bought and paid for…"

Ursa laughed fondly, smiling at her daughter in a way she most likely hadn't before: what had changed in Azula through the night had opened the gates, the possibilities, of a true and proper reconciliation between them… and Ursa wouldn't waste that chance. She meant to make the most of Azula's offer, even if she'd have to send word to Noren and Kiyi about where she'd go…

She had been moments away from saying as much to Azula, proposing to go into town for a messenger hawk, when the front door blasted open violently.

The placid mood between mother and daughter, as they amended their estranged bond slowly, froze entirely when that abrupt noise caught them off guard. Azula jumped upright again, wanting more mochi but deciding to wait and assess this threat, instead…

She froze in place when a squad of Imperial Firebenders filed into the kitchen's area, hands raised threateningly.

"What…?" Azula gasped. Ursa snarled, stepping forward.

"What's the meaning of this?!" she asked: then it wasn't Ursa's doing that they were here? It couldn't be. She wouldn't have been so dishonest and shrewd, Azula would have picked up on it if there had been any subterfuge in her demeanor so far…

But no soldier responded to Ursa's demand for an explanation. Instead, someone else stepped out from among them. His hairpiece glowed under the rising sunlight, his cloak fluttering haughtily in his wake…

Azula's stomach sank. There was no way he was here now… no way he had tracked her down all the way here.

And yet Zuko stood before her and Ursa, a heavy scowl upon his face as he locked glares with his sister.

"Finally," he hissed, his tone foreboding and hostile. "Was about time you turned up, Azula."

[lovelylogans]

fanfic survey: the results

hey there! with 213 responses, here it is: the results of the survey!

before i get into it, though, i just wanna reiterate this disclaimer: this is not meant to tell fic writers what they should or should not write!!! or to tell people what they should or should not read!!! authors should write what they want to write and readers should read what they want to read and for both, it should be what makes them happy—this is purely a curiosity thing! if what you love to write or read turns out to be something in the most popular answer to a question, awesome! if it turns out to be the least popular answer, that’s awesome too!! as long as it makes you happy to write or read, that is what matters. 

i will say that i am removing myself entirely from the answers—i didn’t take my own survey, this is the only time that i’m going to be “speaking,” at the beginning to offer commentary on why i’ve organized things a certain way, and after questions if i need to make mention of a slip-up on my part, or a change to a question. there might be things on here i love, there might be things on here that i don’t like so much, but this is all the voice of you guys—the 213 people who took this survey. i’m just the one who made the survey and is putting the answers out there. i am attempting to make this as unbiased as possible.

in terms of the survey: i’m not a statistician. i do know that i probably haven’t made the Perfect survey, and that i might have missed categories or questions along the way. 213 people also isn’t the biggest cross-section of the fandom, so this is probably a small segment, and shouldn’t be taken as absolute fact with no exceptions—there is a definite margin of error here.

for example: math was not tidy on the pairings questions! i decided to just law out raw data in this results post. i made another post, linked here, ranking most-least popular based on the number of answers for questions 15, 17, 19, and 21 (for example, if column janus got 2 votes in logan, and column logan got 3 votes in janus, then that gets added up to 5 logan/janus votes in that post; here. to think i laid it out like this because i thought it would make neater results!)

these may not be the way the results were listed on the survey; for the results, i’ve made it so that the answer with the most responses is at the top, and then the answers continue in descending order until we reach the “other” category. if the responses don’t add up for some questions, it could be 1. a fault with my math, as sometimes i had to count things by hand or calculate it out myself, or 2. due to the fact that people could select multiple responses for some questions.

when it comes to the “other” category, i have attempted to summarize the majority of 213 answers, so i tended to put down the most common responses.

and now, the results:

Where do you read fanfiction?

210 (98.6%) said AO3 (Archive of Our Own)

146 (68.5%) said Tumblr

22 (10.3%) said Wattpad

14 (6.6%)said Fanfiction.net

3 (1.4%) said Quotev

the other category makes up 3 (1.4%), which said:

Back in the day, it was on Livejournal. And before that, FF.net. Before THAT, fansites.

Used to read on wattpad but not anymore

Mosty AO3

2. Do you write fanfiction?

94 (44.1%) said Yes

59 (27.7%) said No, but I want to/used to

28 (13.1%) said No

19 (8.9%) said Yes, but not for this fandom

the other category makes up 13 (6.10%), some of which said:

Yes and yes but not for this fandom

Sometimes?

I used to write TSS fanfics, but I don't anymore

I used to write fanfics, but not for this fandom

Yes, but I don't post it

3. Do you make fanart?

67 (31.5%) said No

65 (30.5%) said Yes

50 (23.5%) said No, but I want to/used to

20 (9.4%) said Yes, but not for this fandom

the other category makes up 11 (5.1%), some of which said:

Yes, but not for this fandom

I try to

I used to, but not as much anymore

If photoshopping counts

Yes, but I don't post it

4. Do you make other fandom-centric content? (gifsets, video edits, moodboards, speculative posts, etc.)

131 (61.5%) said No

68 (31.9%) said Yes

the other category makes up 14 (6.6%), some of which said:

I make occasional posts

Cosplay

Yes, but not for this fandom

Animation

Yes, but I don't post them

5. How often do you read fanfiction in general?

135 (63.4%) said Daily

45 (21.1%) said Once a week

9 (4.2%) said Twice a month

7 (3.3%) said Once a month

4 (1.9%) said Once (or fewer) every three months

the other category makes up 13 (6.1%), some of which said:

Sporadically

When I get into a fandom, I binge read

It varies/depends

6. How often do you read Sanders Sides/TS fanfiction?

54 (25.4%) said Daily

49 (23%) said Once (or fewer) every three months

40 (18.8%) said Once a week

26 (12.2%) said Twice a month

22 (10.3%) said Once a month

the other category makes up 22 (10.3%), some of which said:

Sporadically

I'm just getting into the fandom, I don't have frame of reference

Whenever I feel like it

More than once a week, but not every day

About as often as Thomas posts

Close to daily when it was my hyperfixation

7. Where do you get recommendations for fanfiction?

182 (85.4%) said Using the website's sorting functions

134 (62.9%) said From people I follow (Twitter, Tumblr, etc.)

81 (38%) said Browsing through the bookmarks of others

80 (37.6%) said From friends within fandom (personal friends, Discord servers, etc.)

11 (5.2%) said I only read fanfiction by friends/people I follow

the other category makes up 10 (5%), some which said:

From whatever new fic gets updated on AO3

Videos from Tiktok

I don't understand the question

Searching fic recs

A combination

Scrolling through tags

I only read from one author

8. If you use sorting functions, do you sort by:

160 (75.1%) said Tags I want

98 (46%) said Newest first

69 (32.4%) said Most kudos

23 (10.8%) said Most bookmarks

16 (7.5%) said N/A, I do not use sorting functions

12 (5.6%) said Most hits

4 (1.9%) said Most comments

the other category makes up 14 (6.5%), some of which said:

Word count

Kudos, then start on the last page and work my way forward so I find hidden gems

Date updated

Rating

Relationships

Specific tags

Completed

In progress

Depends on the day

9. Do your preferred fanfictions range across fandoms?

81 (38%) said Yes, about an 80/20 split (majority other content)

41 (19.2%) said Yes, about an 80/20 split (majority TS content)

19 (8.9%) said No, I read exclusively Sanders Sides fanfiction

19 (8.9%) said About a 50/50 split

15 (7%) said Yes, about a 60/40 split (majority TS content)

13 (6.1%) said Yes, about a 60/40 split (majority other content)

the other category makes up 25 (11.7%), some of which said:

I bounce back and forth between fandoms depending on the day

Whenever the hyperfixation hits

It's more than an 80/20 split

Like a 95/5 split

Mostly in the fandom, but I LOVE crossovers

The percentages break down a bit more because I'm in a lot of other fandoms

10. Do you read fanfictions in progress, completed fanfictions, or a combination of the above?

182 (85.4%) said A combination

30 (14.1%) said Completed only

1 (0.5%) said In progress only

11. What genres within the TSS fandom do you find yourself reading most often?

160 (75.1%) said Hurt/comfort

141 (66.2%) said AUs

125 (58.7%) said Fluff

125 (58.7%) said Angst

124 (58.2%) said Works centered around shipping

59 (27.7%) said Smut

18 (8.5%) said Crossover

the other category makes up 9 (4.2%), which said:

A few x readers

Works centered around NOT shipping

Depends on the day

Found family (the most popular "other" answer)

Crack

Roman and Remus having just — the worst possible sibling relationship

12. Is there a specific AU you tend to read?

138 (64.8%) said Human AU

115 (54%) said Other kinds of popular fanfiction AUs

105 (49.3%) said Canon compliant AU

83 (39%) said High school/college AU

70 (32.9%) said Enemies to lovers AU

59 (27.7%) said Roommate AU

34 (16%) said Fake dating AU

the other category makes up 37 (17.3%), some of which said:

Fantasy AU (the most popular "other" answer)

Weird AU (it's gotta be weird)

TV show AUs

Soulmate AUs

Any AU

No particular preference

Role swap/light dark

Supernatural AU

AUs in which the Sides are another species (some mentioned: merpeople, fae, with wings, space orcs, selkies, vampires, magic users)

13. Is there a specific character you prefer as your "main character?"

47 (22.1%) said Virgil

44 (20.7%) said I prefer ensemble pieces

30 (14.1%) said Logan

22 (10.3%) said N/A

21 (9.9%) said Roman

17 (8%) said Janus

12 (5.6%) said Patton

11 (5.2%) said Remus

1 (0.5%) said Thomas

1 (0.5%) said Other Thomas characters (Vines, shorts, Cartoon Therapy, etc.)

1 (0.5%) said RPF (Thomas' friend such as Joan, Valerie, etc.)

the other category makes up 7 (3.2%), some of which said:

Creativitwins equally

Virgil and Logan equally

Janus and Virgil equally

A combination of characters

Changes daily

14. Is there a specific character you avoid as your "main character?"

48 (22.5%) said N/A

38 (17.8%) said RPF (Thomas' friends such as Joan, Valerie, etc.)

28 (13.1%) said Patton

21 (9.9%) said I prefer ensemble pieces

17 (8%) said Thomas

14 (6.6%) said Roman

14 (6.6%) said Other Thomas characters (Vines, shorts, Cartoon Therapy, etc.)

10 (4.7%) said Virgil

9 (4.2%) said Remus

6 (2.8%) said Logan

4 (1.9%) said Janus

the other category makes up 4 (1.9%), which said:

Everyone but Virgil

Patton of Virgil equally

RPF, Thomas, and Virgil

Other Thomas characters and Thomas' friends as characters

A combination of characters

15. Is there a specific romantic pairing you prefer as your main pairing? Please select the intersection of the two characters. (A polyship/other pairings not listed specification option is below.) disclaimer: this is where the math may get a bit dicey; i did my best to calculate correctly! this is where the data is laid out raw.

Of the 56 responses in column N/A: 49 said N/A; 2 said Patton; 0 said Logan; 2 said Virgil; 0 said Roman; 1 said Remus; 2 said Janus; 0 said Other

Of the 107 responses in column Janus: 7 said N/A; 27 said Patton; 20 said Logan; 15 said Virgil; 7 said Roman; 27 said Remus; 1 said Janus; 3 said Other

Of the 105 responses in column Logan: 6 said N/A; 16 said Patton; 0 said Logan; 26 said Virgil; 12 said Roman; 26 said Remus; 17 said Janus; 2 said Other

Of the 91 responses in column Patton: 12 said N/A; 0 said Patton; 29 said Logan; 4 said Virgil; 9 said Roman; 6 said Remus; 29 said Janus; 2 said Other

Of the 83 responses in column Remus: 10 said N/A; 7 said Patton; 22 said Logan; 7 said Virgil; 2 said Roman; 2 said Remus; 32 said Janus; 1 said Other

Of the 111 responses in column Roman: 6 said N/A; 12 said Patton; 16 said Logan; 57 said Virgil; 1 said Roman; 4 said Remus; 13 said Janus; 2 said Other

Of the 114 responses in column Virgil: 7 said N/A; 6 said Patton; 27 said Logan; 0 said Virgil; 50 said Roman; 5 said Remus; 17 said Janus; 2 said Other

Of the 51 responses in column Other: 20 said N/A; 1 said Patton; 2 said Logan; 3 said Virgil; 0 said Roman; 1 said Remus; 2 said Janus; 22 said Other

16. Other pairing/polyship that is preferred:

This was an optional, fillable other category, which received 116 (54.4%) responses, some of which said:

LAMP (the most popular "other" option)

Intruloceit

Virgil/Remus/Janus

Nico/Thomas

Analogince

Roloceit

Analoceit

Anyone with Virgil

Galaxy polycule (Noise/Roman/Youngblood)

Dark side poly

Thomas/Virgil

Thomas/Janus

Analoceitmus

Logan/Patton/Virgil

I like them all

17. Is there a specific romantic pairing you prefer to avoid as your main pairing? Please select the intersection of the two characters. (A polyship/other pairings not listed specification option is below.) disclaimer: this is where the math may get a bit dicey; i did my best to calculate correctly!

Of the 45 responses in column N/A: 42 said N/A; 1 said Patton; 0 said Logan; 1 said Virgil; 0 said Roman; 0 said Remus; 0 said Janus; 1 said Other

Of the 74 responses in column Janus: 16 said N/A; 12 said Patton; 12 said Logan; 14 said Virgil; 12 said Roman; 7 said Remus; 0 said Janus; 1 said Other

Of the 66 responses in column Logan: 20 said N/A; 29 said Patton; 0 said Logan; 3 said Virgil; 5 said Roman; 4 said Remus; 4 said Janus; 1 said Other

Of the 81 responses in column Patton: 12 said N/A; 2 said Patton; 12 said Logan; 26 said Virgil; 13 said Roman; 10 said Remus; 5 said Janus; 1 said Other

Of the 115 responses in column Remus: 4 said N/A; 11 said Patton; 4 said Logan; 9 said Virgil; 83 said Roman; 1 said Remus; 2 said Janus; 1 said Other

Of the 110 responses in column Roman: 5 said N/A; 15 said Patton; 3 said Logan; 17 said Virgil; 2 said Roman; 61 said Remus; 7 said Janus; 0 said Other

Of the 86 responses in column Virgil: 10 said N/A; 42 said Patton; 1 said Logan; 0 said Virgil; 12 said Roman; 7 said Remus; 14 said Janus; 0 said Other

Of the 31 responses in column Other: 21 said N/A; 2 said Patton; 0 said Logan; 1 said Virgil; 0 said Roman; 1 said Remus; 1 said Janus; 5 said Other

18. Other pairing/polyship to avoid:

This was an optional, fillable other category, which received 61 (28.6%) responses, some of which said:

Roman/Remus (the most popular "other" answer)

I avoid shipping in general

Patton/Remus

Remus/Virgil

Virgil/Janus/Remus

Anything with Patton unless it's Remus

Remus/any light side

Roman/Janus

Anxceit

I avoid shipping Thomas with anyone

Any poly ships that involve both Roman and Remus

Most Virgil and Patton ships

19. Is there a specific friendship you prefer as your main platonic pairing? Please select the intersection of the two characters. (A polyship/other pairings not listed specification option is below.) disclaimer: this is where the math may get a bit dicey; i did my best to calculate correctly!

Of the 45 responses in column N/A: 43 said N/A; 0 said Patton; 0 said Logan; 0 said Virgil; 0 said Roman; 0 said Remus; 0 said Janus; 2 said Other

Of the 98 responses in column Janus: 5 said N/A; 18 said Patton; 15 said Logan; 22 said Virgil; 5 said Roman; 32 said Remus; 0 said Janus; 1 said Other

Of the 79 responses in column Logan: 6 said N/A; 12 said Patton; 2 said Logan; 19 said Virgil; 14 said Roman; 16 said Remus; 9 said Janus; 1 said Other

Of the 83 responses in column Patton: 8 said N/A; 1 said Patton; 17 said Logan; 25 said Virgil; 9 said Roman; 7 said Remus; 15 said Janus; 1 said Other

Of the 92 responses in column Remus: 6 said N/A; 5 said Patton; 6 said Logan; 16 said Virgil; 30 said Roman; 2 said Remus; 26 said Janus; 1 said Other

Of the 79 responses in column Roman: 7 said N/A; 8 said Patton; 15 said Logan; 14 said Virgil; 0 said Roman; 27 said Remus; 7 said Janus; 1 said Other

Of the 102 responses in column Virgil: 6 said N/A; 28 said Patton; 19 said Logan; 1 said Virgil; 18 said Roman; 15 said Remus; 12 said Janus; 3 said Other

Of the 33 responses in column Other: 16 said N/A; 0 said Patton; 0 said Logan; 0 said Virgil; 0 said Roman; 0 said Remus; 2 said Janus; 15 said Other

20. Other friendship/group friendship preferred:

This was an optional, fillable other category, which received 75 (35.2%) responses, some of which said:

LAMP (the most popular "other" answer)

All of them!

Janus/Remus/Virgil

FamILY

Creativity brothers

"When the gangs all here..."

Thomas and Joan

Remy/Sleep and Janus

Moceit

Platonic prinxiety

Virgil and Remy

Logan and Janus

Traffic light trio

21. Is there a specific friendship you avoid as your main platonic pairing? Please select the intersection of the two characters. (A polyship/other pairings not listed specification option is below.) disclaimer: this is where the math may get a bit dicey; i did my best to calculate correctly!

Of the 116 responses in column N/A: 116 said N/A; 0 said Patton; 0 said Logan; 0 said Virgil; 0 said Roman; 0 said Remus; 0 said Janus; 0 said Other

Of the 44 responses in column Janus: 25 said N/A; 5 said Patton; 2 said Logan; 3 said Virgil; 7 said Roman; 2 said Remus; 0 said Janus; 0 said Other

Of the 42 responses in column Logan: 28 said N/A; 5 said Patton; 0 said Logan; 1 said Virgil; 3 said Roman; 3 said Remus; 2 said Janus; 0 said Other

Of the 47 responses in column Patton: 26 said N/A; 1 said Patton; 1 said Logan; 2 said Virgil; 2 said Roman; 9 said Remus; 3 said Janus; 0 said Other

Of the 44 responses in column Remus: 27 said N/A; 11 said Patton; 0 said Logan; 3 said Virgil; 2 said Roman; 0 said Remus; 1 said Janus; 0 said Other

Of the 41 responses in column Roman: 27 said N/A; 5 said Patton; 0 said Logan; 2 said Virgil; 0 said Roman; 1 said Remus; 6 said Janus; 0 said Other

Of the 42 responses in column Virgil: 27 said N/A; 7 said Patton; 0 said Logan; 0 said Virgil; 2 said Roman; 0 said Remus; 6 said Janus; 0 said Other

Of the 32 responses in column Other: 28 said N/A; 1 said Patton; 0 said Logan; 0 said Virgil; 0 said Roman; 1 said Remus; 0 said Janus; 0 said Other

22. Other friendship/group friendship to avoid:

This was an optional, fillable other category, which received 22 (10.3%) responses, some of which said:

N/A (the most popular other answer)

I don't mind who is friends with who

Patton anything

LAMP

23. Do you find yourself gravitating toward a certain fanfic length?

100 (46.9%) said 5k-10k

90 (42.3%) said 10k-20k

68 (31.9%) said 20k-50k

66 (31%) said Less than 5k

52 (24.4%) said 50k-100k

38 (17.8%) said 100k+

the other category makes up 53 (24.8%), which said:

Any length (the most popular "other" answer)

4k-150k

Depends on my mood

Chapter length

24. How often do you leave kudos? with 1 being categorized as "Never" and 5 being categorized as "Always"

87 (40.8%) said 4

76 (35.7%) said 5 (Always)

28 (13.1%) said 3

14 (6.6%) said 2

8 (3.8%) said 1 (Never)

25. How often do you bookmark/save a fic for later? with 1 being categorized as "Never" and 5 being categorized as "Always"

67 (31.5%) said 3

53 (24.9%) said 2

37 (17.4%) said 4

33 (15.5%) said 1 (Never)

23 (10.8%) said 5 (Always)

26. How often do you comment? with 1 being categorized as "Never" and 5 being categorized as "Always"

74 (34.7%) said 2

60 (28.2%) said 1 (Never)

54 (25.4%) said 3

18 (8.5%) said 4

7 (3.3%) said 5 (Always)

27. Of the fanfiction authors you read, are they someone you know? (Either in real life or online.) with 1 being categorized as "Never" and 5 being categorized as "Always"

99 (46.5%) said 1 (Never)

65 (30.5%) said 2

36 (16.9%) said 3

13 (6.1%) said 4

0 (0%) said 5 (Always)

28. Do you find length is a significant factor when reading fanfictions?

80 (37.6%) said It depends on a combination of factors, but length is probably one of the LEAST important

73 (34.3%) said It depends on a combination of factors, but length is definitely one of the MOST important

30 (14.1%) said No

20 (9.4%) said Yes

the other category makes up 10 (4.6%), some of which said:

It's about in the middle (the most popular "other" answer)

It factors in especially when choosing bedtime stories

Depends on fic and fandom

It doesn't particularly matter most of the time, then sometimes it really does

Unsure of what question means

29. Do you find lack of tags is a significant factor when reading fanfictions?

69 (32.4%) said Yes

66 (31%) said It depends on a combination of factors, but lack of tags is one of the MOST important

35 (16.4%) said No

33 (15.5%) said It depends on a combination of factors, but lack of tags is probably one of the LEAST important

the other category makes up 10 (4.6%), some of which said:

It's very likely to deter me

It depends, usually it's a big deal to me, but if the summary is interesting enough I'll read it

Tags are extremely important when it comes to "heavy" content.

Depends on if I "know" the author

It depends on if I'm looking for something specific

Unsure of what the question means

30. Do you find an abundance of tags is a significant factor when reading fanfictions?

60 (28.2%) said No

53 (24.9%) said It depends on a combination of factors, but abundance of tags is definitely one of the MOST important

50 (23.5%) said Yes

41 (x%) said It depends on a combination of factors, but abundance of tags is probably one of the LEAST important

the other category makes up 9 (4.2%), some of which said:

An abundance of "relevant" tags makes it easier for me to make a decision

Yes, in that I don't like it

I do enjoy thorough tagging

Not too much, not too little

If the summary is descriptive or intriguing enough it doesn't need too many tags, but the more the better

Unsure of what question means

31. Do you find the summary is a significant factor when reading fanfictions?

133 (62.4%) said Yes

53 (24.9%) said It depends on a combination of factors, but the summary is definitely one of the MOST important

13 (6.1%) said It depends on a combination of factors, but the summary is probably one of the LEAST important

12 (5.6%) said No

the other category makes up 2 (0.9%), which said:

Summaries have an influence, but not more than the tags

If the tags are super thorough, no. If they're not, yes

32. Do you find accompanying fanart/playlists/other content makes you more likely to read a fanfiction?

94 (44.1%) said No

55 (25.8%) said Yes

51 (23.9%) said It depends on a combination of factors, but additional content is probably one of the LEAST important

10 (4.7%) said It depends on a combination of factors, but additional content is definitely one of the MOST important

the other category makes up 3 (1.4%), which said:

Neither the most or least important, but it's helpful to see.

It makes the work more enticing, but it's not a requirement to get my attention.

No, but it makes it more likely to get me to enjoy/finish it

33. Of options not listed above, is there something that is more likely to get you to read a fanfiction? (interesting title, good spelling/grammar, promising tags/plot, etc.)

81 (38%) said N/A

29 (13.6%) said other

Some more include:

Promising tags/plot

Good spelling/grammar

If it's an AU I like and the summary has a clear plot

Well-written

Interesting title

Tags I'm looking for

Recommendations from friends

A title I recognize from a poem/quote/song

Ships I like

Good formatting

Characterization

34. Of options not listed above, is there something that is more likely to get you to NOT read a fanfiction? (no/poor formatting, untagged content, bad spelling/grammar, etc.)

56 (26.3%) said N/A

55 (25.8%) said Other

Some more include:

Untagged content

Plot devices I find unappealing

Bad grammar, spelling, or formatting

No paragraph breaks

First person/second person

Uninteresting plot

Author's comments in the summary

DNIs/text explicitly denigrating other people in fandom

I dislike most AUs

Unsympathetic tags

Woobification

If it's a complicated concept and it's incomplete

thanks so much for taking this survey, y'all!

[2btheanswertothequestion]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @stevethehairington and @hotluncheddie. Thank you! 🖤 🖤

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

35, spread over two accounts.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

345 730

3. What fandoms do you write for?

A bunch. Currently it's Stranger Things and the Spiderverse films, although I'm starting to have Arcane thoughts too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

November Paramedic (Stranger Things)

Unraveled (Spiderverse)

your eyes on me (i think i'll cause a scene) (Stranger Things)

Lesson/Plan (Stranger Things)

this might mean something (Stranger Things)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, eventually. It might take a few years but I do it! I promise I enjoy replying – I'm just slow and forgetful.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really do angsty endings, or angst at all. On my second (secret!) AO3 account one of my fics ends with the main character "dying" and getting mutilated, but in a kinda hopeful and poetic way?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them end on an equally happy note.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. When I still posted on ff.net I sometimes got harsh comments, but they tried to be constructive and helpful, plus I asked for critical feedback, so I don't count it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, and the good kind? I hope? 😆 I think I'm pretty flexible when it comes to kink and such, though usually in a light way. So far I've only posted gay smut (but I have lesbian and straight stored away on my laptop. Maybe I'll finish it and show you one day).

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't even read crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

See above answer.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but it seems like it'd be fun!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Impossible to answer as my favorite ship is the one I'm currently obsessed with. I'm not more attached to any of them. When I was in the midst of the ST obsession it was Steddie and Lumax, and later Buckingham. Nowadays I'm more focused on Punkflower and Timebomb. Who knows what'll come next.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My big Mortal Kombat fic 😔 It's almost 7 years since I last updated and my standards have gotten so much higher; I'd have to rewrite the entire thing before I could continue.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think my strength is that I don't have one big strength or weakness? I'm rather good at everything. Not the best at characterization, dialogue, prose, etc. but competent enough at everything to create some good, balanced stories. A jack of all trades, as they say.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Adding meaning to my writing. Writing just for fun is, well, fun, but sometimes I'd like to actually say something with my writing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Only after rigorous research.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

First written was Naruto; first published was Romeo and Juliet. That's right, I'm versatile!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I'll list a few, because I cannot choose just one:

November Paramedic, because of how fun it was to write and the wonderful reception it received. This fic convinced me I can be funny.

Uniquely Mine (Stranger Things), because I think I did say something with it. It's very pretty and heartfelt. Also, Stobin 4ever.

synchronicity (cut me open, cut you down) (MCR), because my beta (ily Andréa, wherever you are) and I did such a good job putting it together. Most coherent fic I've ever written. It just works so well, and I really feel my vision came through.

Unraveled, because of basically the same reasons I gave for synchronicity. This one isn't finished yet but I just know I'm going to love the end result.

There! That was fun. Now I'll try to tag people I think haven't already done this (but no pressure): @throughthevale, @madaboutmunson, @riality-check, @hilarychuff, @its-just-a-glitch

[jeongyunhoed]

As seen on my FF.net Also seen on my Ao3

Following the events of fifth year, a new adventure awaits for Norah Lee. Boys, exams, school events, common room parties, and old foes outside of Hogwarts. Even battling pensieve guardians was easier than this.

Main Pair: OC/? Genre: Adventure/Angst/Fluff (it's a little of everything, tbh)

KEEP IN MIND: Characters are aged up (even if the story's got them in sixth year) to make it more appropriate. Time period is leaning towards the modern day so in case you might find anachronisms in the dialogue or references, this is why. This may also be quite a lengthy fic too.

BE WARNED: Social anxiety, mentions of blood and injury, grief, drinking, kissing but nothing more than that, death (this is Hogwarts Legacy, after all)

P.P.S: Ominis has quite a dream, and an emotional rollercoaster ahead for Norah. Listen, I know sectumsempra in the game canon, wouldn't exist until decades later. Keep in mind, this is sooo unrelated to that. Let's just assume that the spell already existed.

Masterlist

Chapter 13

"Ominis Gaunt, we need to talk," Norah said upon entering the Undercroft.

The blonde, who had been dozing off on the couch, sat up, blinking a few times to wake himself up. "What is it?"

"Those letters, those letters you sent me, did you mean what you said in those?" Norah questioned. There was a sense of urgency in her voice, and it made him stand up, sensing her approaching presence.

"What?" He said, seemingly caught off-guard by the question.

Norah took another step closer. "Those letters you sent me, when you were disguising yourself as "Nick," did you mean those things?" She said. "If you did, then please be direct with it. If you didn't, then please be direct with it too."

Ominis' heart was pounding, and somehow, he could also hear her heart racing. "I-I did," He admitted with a sharp exhale. "But I also know that I can't-"

"Can't what?" Norah asked, her expression softening.

"I can't- I can't be with you," Ominis said. "I don't deserve you, my family already despises you, you deserve so much better than to be with someone like me-"

"Don't you dare say that, and don't you dare tell me who I can and cannot love," Norah shot back. "Do you love me?"

"Norah, I-"

"Do you love me?" She repeated.

"Yes!" Ominis blurted out. "I love you! I love you Norah Lee! I have loved you for weeks, months, almost a year! I always have loved you and cared for you, I wrote to Anne asking for advice about you, I summoned you because it's only you that I want, from the moment you came out of the Undercroft for the very first time, I have loved you, and it's been eating away at me every time we catch ourselves alone together. I look for you all the time, I always hear your voice, I've wanted so badly to even just get the chance to hold your hand, be near you in a way that would make me not care about what anyone else has to say, I love you Norah," He was almost pleading, wanting to stress how sincere he was.

Before he could say any more, he felt her arms wrap around his neck, her lips over his own in a deep kiss. He froze for a moment but it didn't take long for him to reciprocate, his arms enveloping her waist.

He savored the moment until he could hear the faint sounds of Sebastian calling him.

Ominis opened his eyes, ignoring the pounding in his heart at the reality. It was all a dream. A dream where he had the courage to say what he felt about her. The warmth of the morning sun hit him, and he felt around for his wand to get ready for their first class. It had been three weeks since the Gryffindor party, and now everyone was looking forward to what might happen when the Hufflepuffs host the next one.

~

The search for more astronomy tables was put on a halt for the time being because even Amit couldn't handle all the NEWT-level homework they were being set to do. Even Ominis couldn't keep up to the point where he would fall asleep some nights, with his books, quill, and parchment on the floor. All the sixth years seemed to be experiencing the same, being unable to enjoy the Halloween festivities the weeks prior because of it.

Nurse Blainey's sex education lesson didn't seem to help, in between snickers and giggles over having to brew contraceptive potions. It was awkward enough for any of them to try brewing some out in the open, and not even Garreth wanted to risk doing so while in Potions. To make it even more awkward, at least for Sebastian, Ominis, and Amit, Norah allowed them to brew theirs in the Room of Requirement.

"I guess it's no different from what was taught in the muggle school," Norah chuckled as she stirred her cauldron that morning after Potions class. "Muggles had to use these things called condoms, the guy wears one when he's about to do it. Among other things."

Her explanation made Amit nearly spill some of his ingredients over. Sebastian remained curious, while Ominis was trying his hardest not to leave the room out of not wanting them to see how red he had gotten. "Can we-Can we just focus on making the potions?" Amit muttered. "The sooner we finish making these, the sooner we can stop talking about it."

"I disagree," Sebastian said. "I think it's important to talk about it, especially when we're around girls. So we know to be respectful, and take no for an answer. It's only natural, isn't it? How else would we be here had it not been for our parents?"

"Isn't that what we as men should be doing in the first place?" Amit swallowed hard, trying to overcome his embarrassment at what they were talking about.

Norah looked impressed. "My parents had long taught me to be respectful...only when it came to purebloods, that is," Ominis frowned, still intently stirring the mixture in the cauldron in front of him. "Of course, they also believed in arranging marriages, like what they've done to my brother Marvolo."

"Merlin, I heard that's what your pureblood families do," Amit shook his head at the thought.

"Well, yes, but there's no sympathy to be had for them," Ominis shook his head as well. "My brother is glad to uphold such things."

Norah glanced at him. "Then what are Ominis Gaunt's thoughts on marriage?" She asked curiously.

The blonde swallowed hard, remembering the dream he had. "I-I fully believe that marriage is reserved for two people who love each other. If they choose to."

She nodded, smiling to herself as she allowed the contents in her cauldron to brew, putting her dragonhide gloves back on to harvest the venomous tentacula that threatened to loom over Amit. "Garreth said the same thing," She said.

"Weasleys don't exactly hold the same beliefs as my family does, that's why they get called blood-traitors," Ominis pointed out. "So I am not surprised one bit to know that Weasley agrees with me."

Norah smiled. "If there's a Gaunt I like, it would be you, Ominis," She said, glancing at him as she harvested a few sprigs of fluxweed and knotgrass.

The blonde looked taken aback at the sudden comment, while Sebastian's expression fell slightly. Did she mean she liked Ominis too? He couldn't help but think.

They suddenly saw Poppy emerge from the beachy vivarium with Andrew, while Natty emerged from the vivarium that housed the phoenix with Henry. Norah had agreed to allow them to tend to the beasts while they were in there, and by extension allow Henry and Andrew to enter. She wondered if she could put a limit as to how many other people she'd allow inside the room, without wanting to keep other people out.

"Speaking of Garreth," Natty had overheard their conversation as they went down the stairs to join them. "I heard he invited you to go to Hogsmeade with him sometime," She teased. "He's been waiting for the day."

Henry chuckled. "Oh right, he did, didn't he? You two seemed to have a good time at the party, if I recall."

That seemed to make Sebastian frown, while Ominis nearly froze in his place. "Weasley asked you out?" He asked.

Norah stared at them and grinned. "Oh right, yes he did. NEWTs have been doing my head in lately, and we never got around to actually going together. I should probably tell him sometime."

"Isn't he interested in Nellie too?" Sebastian raised a brow. "Why'd he ask Norah out when Nellie was right there?"

Norah noticed Amit shift a little in his place, then glanced at Sebastian. "Are you saying he shouldn't ask me out?"

"Answer faster, answer faster, Sallow," Henry stared at him.

Sebastian stopped, realizing what he just said. "No, of course not-I mean- Yes he should ask you out, but he also fancies Nellie, doesn't he?" He stammered. Fuck.

"Answer better, answer better, Sallow" Andrew spoke.

Norah sighed and shook her head, smiling in amusement at what Henry and Andrew said. "Well, he did. I'm sure he'll tell me if it won't happen anymore. If he wants to ask Nellie out, so be it."

Sebastian's expression fell. "That's not what I meant, Norah," He said.

"I know perfectly well what you meant, Sebastian," She pointed out, taking the dragonhide gloves off and putting it aside. "It's not like I fancy Garreth, so if he prefers to ask Nellie out, who am I to stop him?"

"The Hogwarts heroine?" Amit tried to suggest, only to get nudged by Andrew.

What Sebastian said still left a bitter taste in her mouth, one that she tried her hardest to stay casual about. "Well, I should probably talk to him if that was the case. He's at the viaduct courtyard, isn't he?" She turned to Natty, who nodded. "Then, I'll see you all later," She took her bag and rushed out of the room.

"You idiot," Ominis slapped his arm as they watched the door close behind her. "Must you take this opportunity to put your foot in your mouth?"

Sebastian sighed, feeling like he got the wind knocked out of him. "You all know what I meant by that, she said she knew what I meant," He tried to defend himself.

"Maybe she did, maybe she didn't," Henry shrugged. "But Norah deserves to have that kind of attention, not how people know her just because she's the hero of Hogwarts. If anything, I think she's more than earned a chance."

"But I still said that Garreth should ask her out, didn't I?" Sebastian looked down at his potion brewing and bubbling before him. "I didn't mean anything else by it, I swear, and she said she doesn't fancy Garreth, didn't she?" He studied their expressions. "Nicholas Carrow calls her a mudblood and she doesn't flinch but I say that Garreth should ask Nellie out and I'm the bad guy all of a sudden?"

Ominis smacked the back of his head. Natty and Henry frowned at him. "Merlin, as if you can't get any worse," He said.

~

Norah made her way into the viaduct courtyard, still thinking about what Sebastian said. Even though she had grown to keep thinking that way, it still hurt when someone else said it. She was confused about her own thoughts, thinking that she ought to pick a side. She still wasn't sure how she felt about Garreth, especially when the person she cared about didn't seem to look in her direction. Or rather look at all.

She spotted the freckly redhead leaning over on the railing, looking at the groups of people hanging around below, on the bridge. He immediately stood up straight upon seeing her as she waved at him, waving back as she joined him.

"NEWTs killing you too?" He chuckled, leaning back over the railing as she did the same.

"Yeah, a little bit, and Nurse Blainey's sex education lessons," Norah chuckled. "So, about Hogsmeade-"

"Yeah?" Garreth replied, a little too eagerly. "We haven't gone yet, but... do you still want to? We don't have to go to Madam Puddifoot's, we can just go somewhere else in Hogsmeade if you prefer."

Norah smiled. "I heard you fancy Nellie Oggspire," She said.

That seemed to make the redhead's cheeks heat up. "Who told you I fancy her?" He asked.

"Sebastian."

"That's-" Garreth tried to say, getting flustered at the reply. "That might be true."

Norah nodded. "So, you never really meant to ask me out at the party, then?"

"I meant to," Garreth said. "I meant it. I just-I was just getting frustrated because Nellie keeps talking about Amit so much. She fancies him, you know."

No wonder Amit reacted the way he did when Sebastian said it, she thought. "I'm guessing Amit knows how she feels about him?"

Garreth nodded. "Yeah, she told him at the party, and apparently, Samantha Dale got annoyed. They went in together, but they didn't go back together-together, if you know what I mean."

"I really must ask Amit about that. He doesn't even tell me how he actually feels about Samantha either. Yet, I don't want to press him for details, I've tried before, but that didn't seem to work," She said, her expression somber. "He must still be confused about it all. Probably overwhelmed with all the romantic attention he's getting."

Garreth shrugged, then glanced at her. "I still meant it, you know, about going to Hogsmeade together sometime. I hope you don't think I'm just using you as a distraction," He said.

"You kind of are," Norah pointed out. "But I guess I can see where you're coming from."

"I'm sorry, Norah," He said.

She shook her head. "Nothing to be sorry about. At least you were honest with me. I respect that."

Garreth looked down, embarrassed and apologetic. "Now I feel like an absolute asshole."

"Have you at least tried to talk to Nellie about how you feel?" Norah asked, trying not to dwell on the realization even further.

"The question is when I have not," He pointed out. "But yet, Nellie is like Amit this, Amit that, she hoped to come with you to look for those astronomy tables. She'd ask Natty, but then she'd find out."

Norah chuckled. "Oh, so no one knows much about Nellie fancying Amit, huh?" and Garreth shook his head.

He sighed, watching a few house quidditch players zoom past the bridge and fly down to the greenhouses. "I can't not say I'm sorry again, Norah. I know you'd make someone really happy, who wouldn't use you like I did."

Norah nudged him. "Don't rub it in, Weasley. Well, I guess our Hogsmeade trip might have to...not happen after all. It's okay," She assured him before he could interject. "However, if Nellie really doesn't see you that way, maybe you should just accept it and move on. Look for someone who does."

She bid him goodbye and walked off, making her way to the kitchens to get something to eat. Sebastian was right after all. It also seemed to confirm what she had thought about herself. Climbing down the stairs, Norah stopped at the portrait of the fruit bowl and tickled the pear until it turned into a doorknob.

~

Accessing the school kitchens always felt like a pleasant surprise. The house elves were hard at work, cooking and preparing everything. The smells of meat being roasted, bread being baked, and sweets filled the air, and Norah somehow felt comforted at the sight of it all.

"Would miss like something to eat?" One of the house elves asked, coming up behind her.

"As a matter of fact, I would," Norah said with a nod.

"Come, Miss! Come! We've gots food for Miss to eat! Have some! Take as much as you want!" They said, gesturing her to the other counters that had an assortment of soups in tureens along with baskets of bread. One elf almost shoved a bowl in her hands while another ladled some into it, charming a knife to cut through a loaf of bread.

"Thank you thank you," She tried not to spill anything as she sat in the corner to eat, seeing some of the elves crowd around her as if waiting for her to ask for more. "You don't have to watch me eat, it's alright. Please, don't mind me eating here."

"Please help yourself if you want more, or tell us what you like and we'll make it for you," They said before slowly scattering to get back to their kitchen duties.

Norah turned her attention to the meal before her and tucked in, trying to drown out the thoughts that were seeping in. She had just remembered that the Yule Ball was fast approaching, and by now, everyone was likely already in the throes of preparing for it. There went a possible chance at getting a date for the ball. At least she thought it was a chance.

Fully focused on finishing her food, she was starting to feel better, the soup warming her body. That would be enough for another adventure, perhaps looking for Harlow again. It would make for a good distraction, to have something that would occupy a bigger part of her life. Anything to forget what just happened, to forget that reality.

After she had her fill, she stepped out, almost stepping back in when she saw Poppy and Andrew coming down the stairs. She didn't feel like seeing them for now, immediately thinking about the awkward exchange in the room earlier. Once the two of them were out of earshot, she crept out of the kitchens, climbing up the stairs in the hopes of maybe vanishing for now.

"Oi! Norah Lee!" Nicholas Carrow, flanked by his group of blood status supremacists, called out to her.

She sighed. She did not have time for him today. "What do you want, Carrow?" She asked.

"You're looking at the new Crossed Wands winner, so that's Mr. Carrow to you," He said, pointing his wand at her. "Given that a mudblood was last year's Crossed Wands champion, what say you and I have a duel?" He raised a brow at her.

Norah could see everyone stopping to watch them. "Here? Now?"

"What's the matter? Accio wand!" Nicholas summoned her wand from her hand. "So, what do you think? In front of everyone here!" He declared, throwing her wand back to her, and she caught it in time.

"Fine, so be it," Norah said, putting her bag down. "I'm surprised you won Crossed Wands, to be honest."

Her remarks made Nicholas' expression stiffen. "We've got another battle! Between champions!" Lucan Brattleby said excitedly. "The current champion and last year's champion, Nicholas Carrow versus Norah Lee!"

Lucan's announcement seemed to get more people to gather around them. "No one's going to save you this time, mudblood," He said. "Professor Black's one of us, and he won't hesitate to expel a mudblood like you."

"Shut up and duel," Norah said, studying the way he stood. She wanted to get everything over and done with. Whether she won or lost, she didn't care. She also knew Nicholas was making an empty threat, given that everyone else around them knew who started it.

"Expelliarmus!"

Norah was quick to shield herself in time. Nicholas kept going, trying the kinds of spells she remembered were taught to her in fifth year. The most she planned to do was keep defending or shielding herself, knowing that Nicholas would want her to do something, anything, that would make her seem like the bad person.

"Reducto!" Nicholas yelled, and she moved out of the way. "You filthy mudblood."

"So bold of you to keep assuming that I am a muggle-born," Norah muttered, eyes still fixed on him and his movements. She continued to shield herself nonverbally until she cast levioso, followed by a quick depulso and another levioso again, keeping him afloat.

"Oh I do know, Norah Lee. Daughter of squibs, that makes you even less of a witch, undeserving of being in Slytherin house," His voice was dripping with hatred. "Sectumsempra!"

Before Norah could defend herself, she was pushed back, knocked off her feet. "That's enough!" Professor Hecat had appeared, likely having heard of the duel that took place. Norah felt the wind knocked out of her, her face and chest were bleeding as if she had been slashed by an invisible sword.

"You fucking coward!" She heard Garreth yell, and to her surprise, Amit and Leander were holding him back from trying to lunge at Nicholas, who was also being held back by his friends. Nicholas looked victorious. "Can't handle that she was being the bigger person, could you? You fucking coward!"

Her eyes were getting heavy as more blood seemed to gush out of her. "Mr. Carrow, perhaps 50 points from Slytherin and detention until your Christmas break for injuring your fellow students," Professor Hecat declared. "If you utter mudblood once again, I shall report your activities to your parents. But I fear they may be incredibly understanding with what you have tried to do."

"Mudbloods and squib-borns are undeserving to be in Slytherin house," Nicholas sneered. "Much less in Hogwarts."

"Fucking bastard!" She thought she heard Ominis yell before passing out. "Norah? Norah! Norah! Wake up!"

[aquietwritingcorner]

It's Gonna Get Me by the End of the Night

Title: It’s Gonna Get Me by the End of the Night Day: Whumptober 2023, Day 23 Prompt: “It’s gonna get me by the end of the night,” Shadows/Stalking/ “Who’s there?”  Fandom:  TMNT 2003 Word Count: 2471  Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl Rating: T  Characters: Michelangelo, Leonardo Warning: NA Summary: Mikey’s heartrate shot up as he saw Leo, swathed in shadows, only one side of him visible. Leo took a step into the kitchen and his arms tightened on his food as his fight or flight started to kick in. Leo flicked on the kitchen light, and looked at Mikey, confusion clear on his face as he stood there, both arms in plain view. Mikey let out a breath, the panic easing. “Holy shell, Leo,” Mikey said, looking at his brother. “You nearly scared me to death.” “So, I noticed,” Leo said raising an eye ridge. He looked at the stuff in Mikey’s arms. “Midnight snack?” The Volpehart building left its mark on two of the turtles, although they didn’t know it until now. Notes:     AO3 || ff.net

_________________________________

It's Gonna Get Me by the End of the Night

“Guys?”

Mikey looked around. Where was he? He didn’t remember getting here. And he was pretty darn sure that wherever he was, he wouldn’t have come alone—that he didn’t come alone. Mikey’s hands went to his nunchucks. Something wasn’t right here.

He was in a cave of some sort, in what seemed like a tunnel. Something about it didn’t feel right. Mikey couldn’t pin what, exactly, it was, but he had the worst feeling that something had made this cave, and that whatever it was, it was still around. He really didn’t like that, but there was nothing he could do with that feeling, except be on guard.

The cave was dripping, shadows hiding the bends and corners. It should have been completely dark, somehow, he could still see. There were only two ways to go, too, forward or backward, although, honestly, which was which was up the air. Mikey wasn’t sure which way to go. There was nothing to tell him which way might be better. Running his thumbs nervously on his nunchucks, Mikey picked a direction and started walking.

He wasn’t sure how long he traveled. It felt like a while, but it also didn’t seem to take that long. The cave stayed rounded, although it twisted and turned. Occasionally there was a stalactite or a stalagmite, or even one of those columns, but for the most part, the cave stayed remarkably the same. It didn’t stop the feeling of something stalking his every move, though.

And then something caught his ear.

Mikey whirled, his nunchucks out and ready. “Who’s there!” he demanded.

“Easy, Mikey.”

Mike relaxed a bit. “Leo? Oh, man, Leo, scare a turtle why don’t you? I almost soiled my shell!”

“Sorry,” Leo apologized. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Yeah, well, you failed on that,” Mikey shot back. He squinted at his brother. He was still half hidden by one of the stalg-columns or whatever they were called. “Why are you standing over there?” Mikey asked. His bad-feeling-o-meter was beginning to kick in again. “You’re kinda hard to see.”

“I didn’t want to startle you, Mikey,” Leo said, his voice deceptively gentle. “I didn’t know how you’d take it.”

Mikey took a step back, his hands once again drifting towards his nunchucks. “Take what, Leo?”

“We didn’t really kill it, you know. We just put it back to square one,” Leo said.

“Kill what?” Mikey asked.

“It’s not too late,” Leo said, stepping forward. “We can still join it.”

Alarm and panic ran through Mikey as Leo finally revealed himself. Now Mikey recognized this place. Now he knew what was going on. The red tentacles bursting out from where Leo’s arm used to be told Mikey exactly what he was dealing with.

The creature. The one from the Volpehart building. It was back and it had gotten Leo!

“No—” Mikey said. “No, that was just a—a dream! And illusion! We broke out! We got free!”

Leo shook his head as he moved closer to Mikey. “No, Mikey. We never did. We rejected it, but we didn’t get free. But the creature is merciful. Instead of trapping us, it’s giving us another chance to join it. And I took it. We all did.”

Mikey backed up further. “What do you mean, we all did?” he asked, backing up further as Leo got closer to him.

“He means we all did.”

Mikey whirled at Don’s voice. His brother was standing in the middle of the tunnel, seemingly whole—at least until tentacles started to creep up and around his shell, and Mikey knew that they were coming from his shell.

Mike took a step away from Don too, his shell now facing one of the walls. His panic rose.

“He does mean all of us, Mike.”

Raph’s voice came from the opposite wall, and Mikey saw his brother rise from behind a boulder. For a moment, he looked normal. Then he stepped out from behind the boulder—or rather, slithered. His legs had been replaced by tentacles.

“No, no way, nuh-uh!” Mikey said as he backed up. “This is not happening!”

“But it is, Mike,” Raph said. “And your gonna join us too.”

Mikey saw the movement out of the corner of his eye, and he dodged just as Leo’s tentacle arm shot out at him. Mikey hit the ground and rolled, coming up, only to have to leap away as Raph pounced down on him, tentacle legs forming a sort of net to pin him. He landed on his butt, near Don’s feet, and Don’s tentacles shot down at him with precision. Mikey was faster, though, and swept Don’s feet out from under him. He went down, hitting the musty, damp cave plastron first, giving Mikey a full view of the tentacles that were literally coming out of a jagged hole in the center of Don’s shell.

Mikey felt like he was going to be sick.

There was no time for that, though, as his brothers didn’t slow down, and so Mikey had no time to either. But as fast as he was, Mikey couldn’t fight all three of them forever, and soon he found himself pinned down. Mike struggled as his brothers leaned over him.

“Don’t worry, Mikey,” Don said. “You’ll grow to enjoy it.”

“Where should we start?” Raph asked.

Leo looked down at him. “Hm. How about… with an arm.”

“No—No, stop, please!” Mikey begged, panicked as he felt his brothers shift, holding down his arm. Leo’s arm tentacles slid over his arm, wrapping firmly around them. He could feel them digging in, burrowing into the skin, into the muscle. “No, no please, don’t please don’t!” he cried out, knowing that his big brother was about to rip his arm off, and then put a tentacle in its place. He felt the tentacles stiffened, as if grabbing ahold, and Leo pulled back and Mikey screamed—

—and sat up in his bed, breathing hard. For half a second, he sat there, and then he scrambled to feel his arm. It was there. It was there, and Mikey let out a breath. A dream. It had all been a dream.

Knowing it was a dream and being able to go back to sleep were two different things, though, and Mikey had absolutely no desire to relive that dream again. He groaned, and then sighed, jumping down from his bed. Maybe if he made himself a snack or something, it would help.

The lair was mostly dark and quiet as he made his way through it. He could hear Raph snoring away, and for once there didn’t seem to be any activity coming from Don’s room or lab. Maybe he was actually sleeping, unless he was up in the garage. The TVs were off, and there was no sound of music or of anyone practicing, so Mikey felt pretty safe in the assumption that he was the only one awake right now.

Of course, that made things kind of creepy, too, but Mikey was going to try hard not to focus on that.

He made his way to the kitchen with no problems, opening the fridge and rummaging about for something to eat. They had some fruit, right? Maybe he’d get some of that. Or, oh, there was caramel dip too. Mikey had forgotten that April had brought that over. He could pull that out and a couple of apples, and that would make a good snack. He pulled out the caramel dip and a couple of apples, and backed out of the fridge, turning towards the table—

—and yelped in surprise as he saw a figure standing there.

“Mikey?”

Mikey’s heartrate shot up as he saw Leo, swathed in shadows, only one side of him visible. Leo took a step into the kitchen and his arms tightened on his food as his fight or flight started to kick in.

Leo flicked on the kitchen light, and looked at Mikey, confusion clear on his face as he stood there, both arms in plain view. Mikey let out a breath, the panic easing.

“Holy shell, Leo,” Mikey said, looking at his brother. “You nearly scared me to death.”

“So, I noticed,” Leo said raising an eye ridge. He looked at the stuff in Mikey’s arms. “Midnight snack?”

“Uh, something like that,” Mikey said.

Leo nodded. “Mind if I join you?”

Mikey blinked in surprise. “Oh, uh, sure.” He shrugged. “I don’t mind at all.”

“I’ll get a knife for the apples.”

Mikey got them a plate, and poured two glasses of water while Leo got a knife and got started on cutting the apples up into slices. While he was working on that, Mike put the caramel dip into the microwave, warming it up a bit. Still, he couldn’t help but glance at his brother. It wasn’t like Leo to be up this late. Not unless something was really bothering him.

Finally, Mikey broke the silence. “So, uh… why are you up?” he asked.

Leo hesitated in his slicing for the briefest of seconds. “Truthfully? I had a nightmare,” he said.

Mikey winced. Ever since the Shredder had beaten Leo and thrown him through that window, Leo had suffered nightmares, usually about that night. “Oh. The usual?” he asked softly.

“Actually, no,” Leo said, continuing to slice steadily. “This one was about the Volpehart building.”

Mikey jerked his head over to stare at Leo. “Really?” he asked.

Leo didn’t look up from his work, but he did nod. “Yeah. We all said that the creature had shown us disturbing things, but we never talked about what we saw. I think Don and Raph have managed to deal with their experiences alright, but…” his hands tightened on the knife. “I don’t think I can get over mine so easily.”

The microwave beeped, startling Mikey, and he opened it, pulling out the now warm caramel dip—and its hot container. He hissed a bit as he burned his fingers slightly, but he still managed to get it over to the table without incident and sat down.

He hesitated, but then looked at his brother. “…What happened in yours?” he asked quietly.

For a moment, Leo didn’t answer him. He just focused on the apples. But, after a moment, he did speak.

“I woke up in the pod we all were in. Master Splinter broke through it and pulled me out. We started to look for all of you, but the creature caught up to us. He grabbed Master Splinter and… and he killed him.”

Mikey stared at his brother. “Leo…”

“And then I woke up in the pod again. And again, Master Splinter was breaking me out of the pod. But I knew what I had seen, and I didn’t understand it. That was when Master Splinter attacked me. His eyes were glowing red and… and we fought. He leapt at me, and I had my sword and…” Leo stopped cutting the apples. “And he was impaled. I saw the way he was coming, and I didn’t move the sword. And then… his eyes turned normal, and he asked me what I had done. He started laughing and then—”

Leo took a breath. “—And then I woke up in the pod again. Only this time, I was alone, and I got myself out.” He glanced up at Mikey. “And then that’s when I came to find all of you. I was dreaming that… that it was all true, tonight, and I killed Master Splinter.”

Mikey frowned, and reached out, laying a hand on Leo’s arm. “Leo, I… yeah. Yeah, that would mess anyone up.”

Leo smiled faintly at Mikey. “Yeah,” he said. He cleared his throat. “So, why were you up?”

Mikey withdrew his hand, and picked up an apple slice, turning it over in his fingers. “Would you call me a copycat if I said I was having a nightmare about the Volpehart Building, too?”

Leo looked over at Mikey, curiosity on his face. “Can I ask what yours was about?” he said, finishing cutting the apples and sitting down.

Mikey dipped his apple slice into the caramel and stirred it around. “In mine, I was in a cave-like tunnel. I couldn’t find any of you. But then you showed up. Only you stayed partially hidden. When I asked you what happened, you said that the creature got us, but gave us the chance to join it.” He lifted the apple slice up, watching as the extra caramel dripped off of it. “You came around the corner and one of your arms had been replaced by tentacles. You, uh, you attacked me.” Mikey looked up at Leo. “When you got me out of there, the not-you and I were fighting.”

“Mikey… I’m sorry,” Leo said.

Mikey tossed the apple slice in his mouth. “Nah, don’t worry about it, Leo. It wasn’t really you.”

Leo frowned. “Mikey. If it really didn’t matter to you, then you wouldn’t be here right now.”

Mikey lowered the apple slice that he had picked up. “Yeah, well… I dreamed about it again tonight. Only this time, Raph and Don were there too. Raph’s legs were tentacles, and Don had tentacles coming out of his shell. All of you had accepted the monster’s offer. You all grabbed me, forced me down and you were about to rip off my arm to replace it when I woke up.”

He looked back up at Leo. “It wasn’t a very fun dream.” He paused and looked at his brother. “Does… does it sometimes feel like it’s still there? Like maybe we haven’t escaped, like maybe it’s stalking us, like it’s going to get us before the end of night?”

Leo frowned, looking at the apples and caramel sauce. “Yeah, it does. Sometimes I wonder if we ever really escaped.”

“That’s how it started in mine,” Mikey said. “You said that we hadn’t really escaped.”

Leo frowned, taking a breath and putting a hand on Mikey’s shoulder. “Sounds like we both have some issues to work through.”

Mikey smiled back up at Leo. “Yeah, we do,” he said. He looked back down at the apples and caramel sauce. “Think this’ll be a good start?”

Leo smiled at Mikey and reached for an apple slice. “I think this is a great start.”

Obviously, apples and caramel sauce weren’t going to solve everything. But as the two brothers sat together and talked, later joined by their father, and then, eventually, their other two brothers, things seemed a bit brighter. The feeling of stalking, of something coming after them faded bit by bit. And over the next few days, whenever Mikey felt that feeling creeping up on him again, Leo was right there, reminding him of what was real, just like Mikey did for Leo.

[mad4morbius]

My Morbius Fanfic recs!

Keep in mind that the pickings are very, very slim, especially when it comes to non-xreader fics or non-movie fics. It’s genuinely impossible to find fanfics that actually dare to use readable grammar so my bar is kind of low for contenders. Sorry, but pickings are too slim to worry about long fics. In addition, I will not be putting explicit NSFW fanfics in this recommendations list, however, some might have innuendos and little spicy jokes here and there. Now, on with the list!

One of the first Morbius fanfics I ever read. Always a top tier read and character analysis.

I so wish I could have this as a mini-comic. It’s like Morbius’ own dumpster fire of a life as a short fanfic, and I live for it.

“This right here is my favorite thing ever, in the history of forever. I think about this every day. I think about this all night long. I stay awake not sleeping because I’m thinking about this.”

–Markiplier.

This quote takes the words right out of my mouth. A god tier work that I reread so often I’ve got every story beat memorized, and yet it still hits me in the feels every time I read it.

The singular scrap of written She-Hulk and Morbius content outside of the 80’s, and I thank the heavens above every day that it’s digestible content.

I’m addicted to this ship because everything about Venom: The Enemy Within was so homosexual and I absolutely needed more. This fic filled a hole in my poor heart. I normally don’t really read ship fics, but holy hell, this was great. I don’t even care that it’s just a bunch of ficlets mashed together; I love it.

These are technically the same fanfiction, but some parts are different. I recommend reading the first chapter of the FF.net version instead of the AO3 version, and then go back to AO3 until the formatting gets jank (you’ll know what I mean when you read it). This fic also hasn’t been updated in years, so just expect a cliffhanger. Why am I recommending this if this has so many issues? Despite the formatting problems and typos, it’s a pretty good continuation. Plus, it’s long. I also really like Max Modell and Morbius interactions, and this is the only fic on the planet I’ve seen that covers it. It’s also got really heavy angst, and lord knows I love the sinking feeling I get in my chest when I read good angst (I may or may not be a bit crazy).

———

That’s all for now! Sorry this list isn’t very long as pickings are slim. Regardless, I hope you guys found something to enjoy, and for my older Morbius fans, something to go back and reread. I’m still searching the depths of tumblr for fanfics, so if I see anything of interest, I might make a part 2. Who knows!