#i miss you so much! im so terrible at replying im sorry 😭

[floatingcloudss]

@raimyy i miss youuuu ♡ i hope you're doing well and are having a wonderful october so far 🍂🎃🧡

[prettynice8]

Hidan x preferably male reader

Okay I’m going anon because this is gonna be KINKY

Um anyway haha I’m talking hair pulling

I’m talking like uh biting

umm umm 😇 oh yeah like um

idk fucking…um maybe can you do A fucking trans ftm reader or some shit idfk if it’s just male that’s cool too i don’t know

like i don’t know sex that’s what usually happens ⁉️

i don’t know I’m so tired right now 😭 this is turning out not that kinky OH SHIT WAIT choking yeah that too but it needs to be HIM anyway yeah 😎 yeah anyway thanks im so tired so im not editing fucking *shit* but yeah hope this is readable anyway thanks bye im gonna go take a nap 😍

oh yeah but then it’s like he calls you a Bitch etc because it’s da- Hidan like ⁉️ anyway but we know he loves us 😌 stupid man couldn’t last a day without us with his horny ahh 😝😚✌️ okay bye for real why is this so long help im sorry they say im chatty but wow but yeah now bye 🥲💀

OMFG this was so funny I can't

Hidan x ftm male reader

This guy

Stuff: swearing, degradation, BDSM?, kinky shit, choking, biting, possessive Hidan, hair pulling, dom Hidan, subby reader, top Hidan, bottom reader, smashing, rough sex, hints of fluff

Word Count: 1,036

Notes: by far the most entertaining request I've gotten. And sorry if this isn't quite right, I'm cis so I don't know a whole lot. happy pride

Hidan had been gone for an awful long time on Akatsuki duty, a whole 3 months to be exact, far too long from his home, and more importantly far too long from his adorable little boyfriend. Though he's been gone even longer, this trip felt particularly difficult because he missed your final bottom surgery, and he secretly felt terrible.

Right when he walks into the house, he sees you and his gruff demeanor quickly brightens up, but just as quickly drops since he has to keep up a certain image and fawning over his boyfriend didn't particularly fit that.

The moment you see him your face beams, so you run and jump into his arms, which thankfully he's quick enough to catch you.

"I've missed you so much honey." You stated with a massive smile on your face. Hidan does his cool guy thing and simply gives you a slight smirk.

"God, you're acting so clingy, so fucking annoying." He said coldly. "How'd the surgery go?" He asked, clearly his compassion for you getting the better of him.

"Pretty well, it felt weird at first, guess you're lucky you didn't have to be there for the worst parts." You answered, still brightly smiling at him.

He looked down at you with an apologetic look for a moment, "Sorry I wasn't, I'll try better to stay with you." He said, his cool guy persona practically destroyed at this point, but you had to open your fucking mouth.

"Aw, you care about meeee." You cheekily exclaimed, causing his light smirk to darken into a glare.

"I care about you fucking ass, speaking of which..." He replied before tightly gripping your ass.

You yelp gayly at his tight grip before your bright smirk returns to your face, though in your eyes now there's a burning hint of lust. "Fuck yeah!" You cheered brightly before Hidan pulled your hair, pulling your head to the side and exposing your neck, which he dived into the crook of your neck, attaching his canines to the spot.

He starts aggressively nipping at your neck, you would call them love bites but with the way he does it, they're hate bites, but you still continue to moan lightly. He continues this assault on your neck before going to sucking.

He sucks at a certain part of your neck, leaving a dark purple mark in his wake, causing your moans to get even louder. He multiplies into several deep purple marks until your neck is a mess of purple and red marks scattered throughout.

Hidan continues his sucking even through carrying you to your guys' shared bed, only stopping after finally laying you down. He then crashes his lips into yours, creating a kiss made of only teeth and tongue.

His kiss is powerful as his tongue completely dominates your own, causing you to moan deeply into the kiss. He then tries out your brand of penis, cupping the clothed member in his hand, causing your sounds to become even more frequent in the passionate kiss.

He takes your pants off and starts jerking you off, pumping his hand along your now hard cock.

"How is it? Now I have a new way to make you act like a fucking slut." He stated, both tightening and quickening his grip on your cock, causing you to moan at an ear shattering noise as you burst into his hand.

He licks up the cum on his hand, licking up as much as he can before stripping the rest of your clothes off you, and then soon after his own.

Hidan then flips you over so that you're on all fours and winds his hand up, causing it to quickly come crashing down on your ass in a powerful spank. You shriek in a mix of pain and pleasure, loving that you have your boyfriend back and he hasn't changed at all.

He roughly pulls your hair back to gently kiss you on the cheek, the duality of men. "I missed you." He said lightly. What a kind and uncharacteristic thing to say, he fixes this by plunging his cock into your already lubricated hole.

You already prepared before he came home. Hidan is a lot of things and one of them is consistent. He doesn't give your preparation a single thought as he thrusts his hips roughly into you, pounding the shape of his cock back into you.

"Sorry bitch, I just figured that you've probably gotten too tight, I had to re-loosen you up." He said, and loosen you up he does.

He thrusts his cock wildly and almost painfully into you, causing your moans to only crescendo and fill the room, along with the sound of skin quickly slapping into each other.

He wraps his hand back around your hard member, only quickening, because of course he still can, his pace into you. Hidan matches the pace of his hips with that of his hand, making you putty into his hands, literally, since he causes you to once again burst in his hand.

He quickened his pace as he reached his upcoming orgasm, filling your insides with his warm seed. He slows down his hips, gently rubbing your sides that have been bruised by the same hands, but he is far from done.

He goes right back to fucking you, his big cock rearranging your insides. His hands pull you hair back so painfully that tears develop in your eyes, a mix of the pain and amazing pleasure you were feeling, evident from how you have your now third orgasm of the night, eliciting the loudest moan yet, which is saying a lot.

He quickly flips you over and traps you into a deep and powerful kiss, one that is strangely warm and loving from him, before he once again cums in your abused hole.

He keeps his cock in your ass, still very far from being done, but he wants to stay like this with you for a few moments, holding you tight in his arms as he rests his head on your chest.

He gently traces the scars there, happy to have this moment with you. "Hope you're ready for round 3 bitch."

THE END

[zumicho]

💞 but really I just want to know what you think of ur mutuals ^^

anon. look what u made me do.

ask game

💞 : @ your favorite blog

if you weren’t on this list know I love you !! I just have bad memory <3 IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER !!

@causenessus was the first mutual on this blog I actually talked to / interacted with and her tags for white denim overalls really solidified the fact that I wanted to be part of this community <3 ily ness !!!! anon you didn’t ask but I’m going to list my favorite works from these people too lol

new grounds I think about every 4 business days, and how they comfort you (I’m definitely biased) is so well written and heartfelt !!

@mitskicain is cheating in this thread bc she’s my irl but also quite literally my favorite person alive even tho she NEVER REPLIES WITHIN THE SAME DAY (stuck up, I know) — and if ur into ken sato she’s a great pick !! she has some haikyuu works coming soon too <3

@mollyrolls . the barney to my ted. i love her so bad u guys have no idea I miss her whenever she’s not on here n I’m so grateful they exist </3 molly if u see this u didn’t read that. i hate you i hate you i hate you I hate you hey cupid! is my favorite rendition? version? take..?? on iwa on this app (I’ve said that already) & all shades of blue is criminally underrated

I CAN TELL THIS IS GOING TO BE AN INSANELY LONG POST IM SO SORRY 💔💔💔💔💔

@nectardaddy is an incredible writer and person all around I still can’t fathom that they’re in my dms. dodger u are insane and i love u

88 ford is a well known obsession of mine !! if dodger is the president of the ‘GET UP’ / down bad club consider me the vice president. OH AND IM SO EXCITED FOR I HATE YOUR GUTS

@sweetfushi , the akaashi to my bokuto — sweetest person ever, is one of my only jjk moots and put me onto the show itself 😭🤍 I can’t pick a specific favorite but the way she writes nanami is perfect to me !!! there’s also mha and haikyuu on her page go take a look <3

@kuroppiii RO. THE PATRICK TO MY ART. my favorite film freak on this app. they have a challengers inspired miya twins fic that takes up 90% of the space in my brain. if u don’t go read right NOWWW I’m coming for u and ur family

@sandwhitches IS SOOO FUCKING UNDERRATED her smau dedication is everything. PLUS MY TWIN FLAME HELLO I LOVE U MITCH !!! ur humor is top tier and I’ve never clicked with anyone as quick as I have with you ugh — read on sight or it’s on sight 💥👊

@guitarstringed-scars I haven’t interacted with u as much as I’d wish to but MO UR SO COOL !!! ur movie taste is everything to me and raven’s eye diner is such a creative piece of work and so so fun to read ,, I have to sit down and grab a snack whenever I do

@cr4yolaas is legendary for making mezzo forte I owe u my life rye. I’m so serious rn I was hooked from blue spring (which I still haven’t finished bc i don’t want it to end rip) and I’ll be staying a fan forever!! ur blog is a blessing to this community

@/yenonoff is on a hiatus and I don’t want to bother her but she’s a great rec if u like haikyuu AND eye candy when u read. her blog is just so nice to look at and i miss her terribly

not being on this does NOT mean I don’t like u pleaaaase know I love all of my mutuals dearly n cherish every interaction I have with u all

[jonillaa]

hi hi can i request a jo slight angst then fluff at the end where you got into an argument and he cried T_T and oh! can female!reader be a noona? ^^

i feel bad seeing/imagining jo cry but he just looks so pretty when he does *flashback to &audition when he cried in that one ep 😭*

thank you so much, lovely!

STATIC ┊ asakura jo

PAIRING ┊ jo x noona!reader

GENRE ┊ slight angst , fluff

WC ┊521

WARNINGS ┊ jo cries , reader and jo are yelling at each other , arguing , bad writing , lowercase intended

SYNOPSIS ┊ jo and you have been dating for a while (before he joined &audition), but one night you both get into a heated argument about his busy schedule as an idol. the argument ends after you notice that jo is crying, which leads to you comforting him.

A/N ┊ AAAAA my first angst!! honestly i feel like this is terrible like idk i promise i wrote this in the span of 2 hours so im so sorry if it seems rushed T_T also ignore how the photos do not match with each other at all plz ..

the sound of a slammed door reverberated through the small apartment. tension hung heavy in the air as you and jo stood facing each other. you had been dating for several months now, but tonight, frustration and exhaustion drew the line between you both.

"i just don't understand why you can't make time for us," you spoke, your voice quivering with emotion. "we barely see each other anymore!"

jo’s shoulders stiffened at the accusation. he couldn't meet your gaze, instead choosing to fixate on the ground beneath his feet. "you know how busy i am as an idol, y/n. i wish you could understand."

"how am I supposed to understand if you never talk to me about it? we used to spend time together, jo. now all we have is glimpses of each other in between your hectic schedule!" your voice rose, anger and hurt seeping into their words.

frustration welled up within jo, his emotions boiling over. "it's not like i want it to be this way! being an idol is what i've worked so hard for, y/n. can’t you at least try to support me instead of adding to the pressure?"

silence hung in the air for a moment as both of them took a step back, suddenly aware of the intensity of their words. jo’s shoulders slumped, and he swiped a hand across his eyes.

that’s when you noticed the glistening tear tracks on jo’s cheeks. your anger instantly dissolved, replaced by concern and a twinge of guilt. stepping forward, you gently took jo’s trembling hands in your own.

jo tried to pull away, averting his gaze. "i-i’m sorry. i didn't mean to cry. it’s just... i’m tired, y/n. i’m tired of feeling like i’m disappointing you."

your heart sank at those words, gently letting your fingers intertwine with jo’s. "you could never disappoint me, jo. i just... i miss you. and i’m scared that we'll drift apart at this rate."

a shuddering breath escaped jo’s lips, his voice barely above a whisper. "i miss you too, y/n. but I can't give up on my dreams just because it's difficult. i don't want us to give up on each other either."

your grip tightened, voice filled with emotion. "i don't want to give up on you. i want to fight for our relationship, but i need you to meet me halfway. Communication is key, jo."

tears streamed freely down jo’s face now, his vulnerability laid bare. "y/n, i’m sorry for shutting you out. i should have talked to you about how i’ve been feeling. i... i never wanted us to argue like this."

you pulled jo into a tight embrace, your fingers gently caressing his back. "i’m sorry too, jo. i shouldn’t have lashed out. we needed this conversation, as difficult as it was."

you both stood there, holding each other, finding comfort in one another's presence. the weight between them slowly dissipated in the warmth of their shared embrace.

"i love you, y/n." jo whispered, his voice laced with raw sincerity.

"i love you too, jo. more than words could ever explain” you replied softly, your voice filled with tenderness.

[growup-thatbeautiful]

hellooo, hi, im not sick anymore (more or less) and in surprisingly great spirits! i was thinking, if you wanted to write more Zeffirelli and absolutely and i mean ABSOLUTELY no pressure maybe we could have some sort of university themed kinda fic? not an AU just kind of widening the lens of The French dispatch to see Zeffirelli as a students not just his after school activities. im thinking like a philosophy student poet boyfriend x art and film theory painter reader kinda situation. studying and going to interesting lectures and to cinema in the evenings..idk it would be lovely to have some nice uni vibes to motivate me. also if you don't feel Zeffirelli now Timothee himself would be very much okay too i feel like. it is all up to you. sending you great energy, love you, message me if you want to brainstorm this story or want to talk literally about anything xx

omg hiiii!!! it’s fall now!! zeffirelli would be living his best life. i was really missing zeffirelli and timmy. timothee always renters my brain this time of year so be prepared. it’s movie szn brainrot time, my friends.

coincidentally enough, this happens to be my 700th follower celebration as well! yay!

uhhh so usually i write the translations at the bottom but i didn’t keep up this time i’m so sorry 😭😭

zeffirelli masterlist

ensoleillement (sunshine)

“You’re late,” you say, looking at the clock in the corner of your living room.

“I brought compensation.” Zeffirelli holds up a brown paper bag from the pastry shop down the street as an apology. “There's a pain au chocolat in there for you. I also got you a coffee.”

“I hope it’s not in the bag,” you respond drily, but take the bag nonetheless and rifle around for your breakfast. “Where’s the coffee?”

“Here,” he says absently, placing it on the kitchen counter.

“Dieu merci,” you sigh, taking a sip and shouldering your bag. The leather strap digs into your shoulder through the fabric of your coat.

“Thank me, not God,” Zeffirelli complains, ushering you out the door.

“You’re still the reason I’m late.” There’s a warning in your voice, but you can’t put any real venom behind your words. You never can, with him.

“Oui, but you’re not going to any important classes right now.”

“I’m going to math,” you protest. He reaches across you and takes your coffee, sipping it and grimacing. You slap his hand away and retake the coffee. “No matter how much you try, you aren’t going to like the way I have my coffee.”

“That’s because you have terrible taste,” he complains. “Why are still taking those bullshit classes? There are so many better classes to take.” It’s a conversation you’ve had many times, mostly out of jest, but there is some seriousness behind it.

“You mean math?”

Zeffirelli hums. “That’s the one. Why would you waste your time with math when you could be going to philosophy at noon?”

“Because I’m not some poet revolutionary, Zef,” you laugh, bumping your shoulder with his. “Not everyone is as successful as you.”

“Nonsense. You just haven’t shared any of your ideas with other people. Come on, amor, let me know what’s going on in that head of yours.”

“Right now there are a few things, but I don’t think you want to hear them,” you deadpan, gathering your books in your arms.

“Don’t get shy on me now, ensoleillement.” The endearment falls easily from his lips, his favorite term for you, meaning, quite literally, sunshine.

Ironically, you got the nickname on a rainy day when you had been giving him a hard time about his tendency to walk in the rain.

“I have nothing to say to you,” you reply, knocking your shoulder against his as you both try to go out the same door to the street below your apartment.

“All that math is filling your brain with nonsense,” he complains, his shoes scraping against the worn hardwoods. “I can’t have a good philosophical conversation with a mathematician.”

“Just because I’m taking the class doesn’t make me good at it,” you correct absentmindedly. He huffs and steps into pace beside you, his hand brushing against yours. The autumn leaves crunch under your feet, warm red and orange bleeding past as you make your way to class, the air crisp and the sun slinking behind the clouds. You really should be trying to make it to class on time, but you know you’ll regret it if you leave Zeffirelli out here alone with that rosy color on his cheeks from the cool air. Fall suits him well, and he wears the chill running through your fingers well.

It’s better to be here, your hands skimming against his, knuckles red and electric when he touches them than it is to be sitting in a class. Especially because he isn’t in the class.

The walk to your school isn’t much further. Just through the town sits a two-storied brick building where you’ve devoted hours to studying, crying, and trying to get Zeffirelli to take breaks unsuccessfully.

The cobblestones underneath your feet are consistently unsteady, and you find yourself, as usual, looking in awe at the quaint town that wakes up as you walk through.

There’s the flower shop on the corner with the green and white striped awning that gives out free roses on holidays. Next to it, stands a stationary store where you go more days than not to get a hand-pressed piece of paper to write home on. Across the street is a cafè where you and Zeffirelli have spent countless sleepless nights discussing movies and poetry when you should be studying,

This isn’t your hometown, and it isn’t his either, but you both know it more than you ever could know any other place on Earth. Zeffirelli’s American rouge, prophetic attitude couldn’t come from a town this small, but that doesn’t stop it from thriving. Here, nothing can stop him. Not living with his parents, which he does on purpose, or not knowing how to start a manifesto. Those things are trivial and unimportant because this place reveres every waking and sleeping moment it has with him. You and

You, well, you can’t claim this place as your home, but you’ve fallen in love with its poetically simple lifestyle. The two years you’ve been here as an exchange student has been the best you can remember, and you aren’t sure how much of that is related to the boy next to you.

A gut instinct tells you that he might have something to do with it, but you would be drawn into the charm of this town anyway, probably. He’s just an added bonus.

Zeffirelli takes the cup of coffee out of your hand and tosses it into the trashcan before you enter the towering, gray stone building that is your school.

“I’ll see you at lunch?” he asks, walking backward down the opposite hall that you’re traveling. “My mom packed cookies.”

A laugh bubbles from your throat and you can tell you’re grinning like a fool. You genuinely don’t know if he’s joking or not, but you don’t doubt the truth of his words. “I can’t even make fun of you because your mom’s cookies are so good.”

“That’s the sweet spot.” His arms are outstretched wildly as he turns back to go to his class. “I’ll see you later, amor. Don’t have too much fun in math without me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Zef.” There’s still a grin on your face when you walk into class, and you take your seat next to your’s and Zeffirelli’s friend, Mitch Mitch.

Mitch is radically passionate like Zeffirelli, but, as obvious by his presence in a math class, he’s less utterly devoted to the revolution. Which is to say that he’s still deeply invested.

“Did l'auteur make you late again?” Mitch reaches over you and slides today’s work to you. “I swear, you need to stop waiting for him in the mornings.”

“He did indeed.” You lean back in your chair and try to listen to the lecture, and you think you retain about half of the information.

The teacher at the front of the room drones on for half an hour about something you don’t understand, not that you care enough to pay attention. Despite the nature of his ideas, Zefrilli is correct about the fact that math isn’t your thing, nor is it going to help you at all. Especially not when you don’t have a clue what’s going on. Based on the look on Mitch’s face, he understands even less than you do, which is comforting and terrifying at the same time.

“Why did you convince me to take this class?” Mitch groans, flopping onto the desk and banging his head on the wood. “I’m too pretty for math.”

“I don’t think that has anything to do with it.” You pat him on the shoulder consolingly and gather your things together.

“Peut être pas, but it makes me feel better about myself.” You walk side-by-side to the next class. You have film studies with Zefirelli and Mitch has some economic class.

Zefirelli is waiting by the door for you, and, when he sees you, he pushes himself off the frame and asks, “How was the waste of time?”

“It was a waste of time,” Mitch confirms, bumping shoulders with Zefirelli, who looks at you for confirmation, which you readily give.

“Let’s do something worthwhile then, mon chéri.” Zefirelli holds out his arm for you, and you take it easily. “To the magical world of film we go.”

“Onwards we go.”

*

Lunch doesn’t come soon enough, but, slowly, it comes. Mitch, Zefirelli, and you usually eat together, but today Mitch is going to the cafe down the street with a girl in your class named Layla. She’s sweet, and you hope she’s enough for Mitch.

You and Zefirelli find your normal spot in the corner of a courtyard hidden away in the twisted cobblestone streets. It’s nothing special, just a park bench pretty much, but you wouldn’t eat anywhere else. Not when Zefirelli is sitting close to you.

“What are you writing about?” he asks, leaning over your shoulder to try and read the words in your journal.

“How much I hate math,” you deflect, shutting the small spiral and stuffing it into your backpack.

“That’s not what looks like when you write about something as trivial as math. I’ve seen your math face, and it is much more détestable.”

“You’re telling me that you don’t write enthusiastically about math?” you joke, hoping to deflect the attention.

“Only about my manifesto.”

“Yeah, well you have your manifesto, and I have my movie.” It slips out easily like things usually do around him. You’re so used to telling him everything, so it comes as no school that you’re unable to keep this from him.

The thing is, he isn’t supposed to know about the movie you’re writing. Not because he wouldn't support it, which you’re sure he would, but because there’s no doubt in your mind that he wouldn’t let you hear the end of it. You try to backtrack. “I mean, I have the movie that I’m studying for class-“

“-You’re writing a movie?” he interrupts, his hand frozen where it’s reaching for his food. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I’m not writing a movie,” you attempt. “It was a slip of the tongue. Fourchement de langue.”

“No it wasn’t,” he denies easily. “You’re writing a movie.” This time he doesn’t ask, but he does return to his previous action, splitting the pink-colored cookie in half. He offers one half to you and you take it. You decide not to respond and focus on the cookie instead.

“So, what is this secretive movie about? Hopefully something dashingly bohemian and revolutionary.” You know he’s tuning down his excitement for you, which is nice. At least he’s trying. Hopefully, he knows that you would never keep something like this from him if you weren’t embarrassed.

“Those are your interests, not mine,” you sigh, despite the deception behind your words. Truly, you do care about those things, maybe only because he cares so much about them.

“Yeah? Then why do you work with me on my manifesto so much?” he prods, a grin on his face. Everything about him screams “got you” and you have no choice but to accept his meaning.

“Maybe I like being around you, connasse.”

“That could not possibly be it,” he dismisses easily. His cookie gets placed on the floor beside him and he leans into you, his head coming to rest on your shoulder. “You’re much too talented to be hanging around me all the time.”

“You can’t be serious,” you chastise, your hand running through his hair. “Zef, you’re the most talented person I know. Not only are you some sort of chess wizard, but you also have such a passion for life that I don’t see anyone else. I’m lucky to be around you as much as I am, honestly.”

“You’re just saying that,” he sighs, but there’s a blush rising to his cheeks that fits him so beautifully.

“We’re poets, Zefirell, we only say things that we mean.” He leans heavier into your side and you relax against him, taking his weight happily. The rest of the world passes by, and time passes by, but you don’t care. This is where you want to be, by his side.

You would lift the sky for him, but right now all he needs is a shoulder to lean on. It’s something you’re ready and willing to give.

“You know,” Zefirelli starts, “there are stories about people like us. You know, people that want to change the world. Usually, they have someone by their side, a second-in-command. Napoleon had Josephine, Pierre Curry had Marrie, Sintra had Garder.”

“I think it be more reasonable to say that Marrie had Pierre, given that she was the one who did most of the research. And you’re forgetting that Sinatra and Gardner broke up after 12 years.”

“But she was the only woman he ever loved. Come on, amore, you know that. Anyway, what I was trying to say-” he looks up at you, smiling softly- “before I was so rudely interrupted, is that most people have someone beside them when they start their journey sur le chemin de la révolution. The road to revolution can be lonely.”

“Everything must start in love,” you agree. “Nothing comes out of nothing.”

“Précisément. Would- would you like to be my second-in-command? We have a long way ahead of us, and I think it would be easier if we stuck together.”

“How am I supposed to say no to that?” you breathe, laying your head on top of his and reaching for his hand. “Promise you won’t leave me for someone more antagonistic?”

“You’re enough of an antagonist for me,” he responds in an overly-sweet voice. “Not sure I could handle much more.”

“Good. I prefer you waking me up in the middle of the night rather than anyone else.” You also prefer his head on your shoulder, his hand in your hand, and his figure in your bed, but those are things you keep to yourself for now.

You’ve already got enough of a win for today.

*

A banging on your door is an unfortunately common event to wake you up. Without checking, you know who’s on the other side of the door. That messy black hair and those piercing eyes are waiting impatiently for you to make your way across your cramped apartment, you’re positive of it.

The floor is cold underneath your socked feet as you make your way over the piles of books, papers, and clothes strewn everywhere across your room. While the trek is short, to your sleep-addled brain it feels like it lasts forever, with you in a dreamlike state of confusion and agitation. You can hear the sound of rain pounding against your apartment roof, a steady rhythm in time with your slow breathing.

With a deep breath, you open your door and you’re met with the familiar, tall form of Zeffirelli. “I have an idea for the revolution,” he says, out of breath, soaked from the rain. “And I need your cinematic expertise.”

“So that’s why you’re at my apartment at three in the morning?” you ask, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

“Yes. And it’s only two,” he says as he brushes past you and goes straight to your tiny kitchen. Absentmindedly, he rifles through your counters and grabs the first food he finds; some untrustworthy brown biscuits. You don’t take any when he offers. “I needed to talk to you. Son affaire sérieuse.”

“Right, I’m sure it is. Tell me, what exactly do you need my help with? I’m not sure I can be of much help.” You shuffle into the kitchen and put a kettle on the stove, accepting the fact that you’re probably not going to get any sleep tonight.

“Absurdité. Who else is going to shut down my best ideas ruthlessly?”

“I would do that in daylight too,” you accuse. He fits beside you at your counter and reaches across you for the sugar bowl, taking a sugar cube and putting it in your cup. Two more are added to the cup that he’s claimed as his own from your array of delicately painted teacups.

“But you admit to having shut down good ideas?” A twinkle in his eyes tells you to give up now and accept your defeat.

“Sure.” It’s worth it to see the victory smile break across his face, his tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth. “I am obviously the bane of your existence. Je suis ta couverture mouillée.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself.” His consolidation is quick and filled with a teasing lightness that you’ve long since accepted as his trademark. A lot of people would look past him for it, and call it arrogance, but you know it comes from a loving place.

“Don’t make me send you to Mitch Mitch’s apartment instead,” you warn, waving a spoon in his direction. “I would do it in a heartbeat.” It’s not true, you would much rather he be here with you, instead of at Mitch’s. Despite the entertainment that comes with Zefirelli and Mitch’s back and forth, you’re feeling selfish tonight.

“Empty threats.” he tisks. The kettle whistles from its spot on the stove and you both reach for it at the same time, your fingers brushing against his. It’s terrifyingly electric, but you push past the feeling. Zefirelli withdraws his hand hesitantly and you busy yourself with pouring the tea.

He’s come over in the middle of the night enough for you to know how he takes his tea by heart. Two heaping spoonfuls of sugar, no more, no less. He claims that you make it better than he does, which you choke up to him being unable to boil water without making a mess.

Clearing your throat, you ask, “So, what’s this big idea? Care to fill me in on why I’m awake at this time of the night.”

“What’s your movie about?” he fires back immediately, settling into your beaten blue couch.

“Did you come here to pester me about my future?” you ask, eyes narrowed. “Because I will kick you to the curb.”

“No, no,” he laughs, “you wouldn’t do that to me. You have no resistance to my pretty face.”

“Ah, yes, you’ve figured out my one weakness. It seems as though you’ll be taking advantage of it forever.”

“Of course, ensoleillement. What would I do if I didn’t have you to manipulate?” He sits across from you on the couch and grabs one of the blankets you have thrown around. It goes over his shoulders and he huddles into its warmth.

“So what did you come here to talk about?” you ask, taking a sip from your tea and placing it on the side table.

“Oh, right!” His eyes light up as he sits up straighter, splashing tea all over himself. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to care very much. “I thought that I would have my mother’s friend, some writer, is coming into town soon. I was thinking that I should ask her to help me. At the least, she can write about us, no? What do you think?”

“I think it’s a great idea. What does she write for?”

“The French Dispatch. You know, the one with all the stories they put out once a month or so. I hear that she’s looking for something out here in our petite ville.”

The conversation shifts and he talks about his big ideas and how he’s going to get them done. You could listen to him talk for hours, and, by the time he’s finished, you have, not that you have anything better to do. Not even dreams of him are this real. You could never make up in your mind the way his eyes sparkle and his hands flutter with excitement, or the way his hair falls in front of his face when he’s moving too fast.

Eventually, sleep takes him over, comically mid-sentence. He’s propped up against the side of the couch in a very uncomfortable looking way, but he doesn’t seem to mind. You’ve known him to fall asleep in worse situations,

When his breathing stills and his eyes close, you allow yourself to look at him as he is without fluttering hands and excited eyes. He’s calm and motionless, except for the gentle rise and fall of his chest. Everything about him is usually coiled for action, an easy tension running through his hands and his eyes, but now, now he’s undistributed and serene, laying with his hair splayed like a dark halo around his head.

Before you close your eyes, you tuck yourself close to him, fitting against his warmth like you’ve done so many times in the past, just like this, on deep-silence-ridden nights.

“You’re my movie,” you whisper into the dark, towards his sleeping figure. “You’re the one I write about.”

But of course, he doesn’t hear.

*

“Medre,” Zeffirelli swears, hopping around and trying to get his shoes on. “I have a test today.”

“You should have thought of that before you came over that early,” you admonish, watching him with amusement. “Why you didn’t think you would oversleep, I have no clue.”

“We’re in this class together, ensoleillement. You’re going to burn with me,” he warns, rushing a hand through his hair carelessly. It sticks up widely in every direction, but you know better than to try to fix it. Nothing can convince his hair to do anything except chaos.

“Yeah, but it’s so much more fun not to think about that.” Begrudgingly, you start to get ready as well. The floors creak under your feet as you shuffle to your bedroom, where a clean outfit is nowhere to be found.

For a moment, you let yourself think of the wild-haired, cigarette-smoking, arrogant person in the room next to you. His infuriating charm and charismatic persuasion captured you years ago, and you haven’t been able to get out of his orbit since then.

You may be his sunshine, but he’s your gravity, keeping you centered but tipping you over and surprising you at times.

“Dépêchez-vous,” Zeffirelli calls, rapping his knuckles against the wall. “Hurry up.” You know he doesn’t really care about making it to class on time, despite the panic, but you also know that he understands you well enough to know that you want to make it on time.

The film class you have this morning is one of your favorites, and you try and avoid missing it as much as you can. While your film studies class is more focused on the aspects of film, this class advises it’s students on the writing and cinematography that you need to make something truly special.

To make something worthy of a manifesto.

“Mon chéri, we have to go,” Zefirelli warns one last time before giving up and aimlessly wondering around your room.

“Don’t touch that,” you sigh, not having to look at Zeffirelli to know that he’s touching something he shouldn’t be touching. When you do look over, you see him flipping through your journal.

“I wasn’t doing anything,” Zeffirelli defends, hiding something behind his back. You send a glare in his direction and lean back in the chair by your mirror. The wood creaks underneath you and you stretch out your back, satisfying pops cascading up your spine.

“You have some deep dark secrets written in here?” His tone is joking, and he waves the journal in the air, taunting you.

“Grocery lists and middle-of-the-night thoughts,” you dismiss. “If you want to know when I forgot to pay the electricity bill, look on the fifth page.” You hope with everything you have that he’s going to let it go, but you have no such luck. He’s nothing if not absurdly relentless.

“I know for a fact that you don’t write anything like that down, it’s not worth the time. You just forget things like the rest of us.”

“Peut être. Still, put it down.” He doesn’t. Instead, he keeps reading with a grin on his face that slowly falls as he makes his way through the rest of the book.

“Is this- is this written about me?” he asks, disbelief written on his face. “Is this your movie?”

“I asked you to stop reading,” you defend miserably, hiding your head in your hands. “I know it’s strange, and I know I shouldn’t be writing about you like that. You don’t want to be heroic or some great leader, above everyone else, but I cannot help it if that’s who you are. Please understand, I only wrote what I saw.”

“I’m your movie? I’m what you have been furiously scribbling away at, working on late at night?”

“You’re my everything,” you admit honestly, softly, “How could you not be the plot of my movie too?” Zeffirelli walks slowly towards you and drops the journal on the floor. “I’m sorry, Zeffirelli.”

“Why?” he asks breathlessly, standing in between your legs and settling his hands on your shoulders. “What have you to be sorry for? You have immortalized be forever with your words. How can I be anything but grateful. If- if I ever gave you the idea that I do not burn for you- that I do not turn towards you in every room like you are the sun and I am a flower, then I can do nothing but apologize profusely. There is more than one reason that you are my ensoleillement. You are grumpy and rude and you give me shit for everything I do, but you also light up my days and nights. You are warmth and home. You are everything.” Zeffirelli’s voice is breathless and rushed, his hands coming up to cup your face. They’re shaky and the calluses on his fingertips are rough against your cheekbones, but you lean into them anyway.

“Zef,” you whisper, like it’s the only word you know. Just as soft as his words, his lips come down to yours, hesitantly at first, but more sure as you don’t protest.

He truly is your everything. That’s the only thing running through your mind as he kisses you with everything he has.

“We’re going to be late to your favorite class,” he gasps in between frantic kisses. “Don’t be angry at me when you have extra homework.”

“I make no promises,” you laugh, pulling him back into you. “But I’ll try my best.” For him, you’ll do anything.

He’s your ensoleillement, your sunshine, just as you’re his.

[fictionkinfessions]

THESE ARE ALL THE HETALIA RACIST SOURCE ASK RESPONSES. IF YOU WANT TO CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION REPLY OR REBLOG THIS POST. IM NOT POSTING ANY MORE ASK RESPONSE ABOUT THIS

I'M SHOVING THEM ALL INTO ONE POST BECAUSE YOU ALL HAVE A TERRIBLE HABIT OF READING PAST EACH OTHER AND PLAYING TELEPHONE GAME. NOT ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT BECAUSE THEY GET PARTITIONED ON ON THE QUEUE. ANYWAYS.

THANKS FOR UDNERSTANDING.

READ MORE'D DUE TO LENGTH. CAPSLOCK CRUISE CONTRol deactivate.

Anonymous asked:

Some of y'all need to remember that it is not, in fact, morally wrong for people to make fanworks of your kin that you don't like. I'm not talking about legitimately problematic stuff, I'm talking about totally normal ships and interpretations you don't like. You don't get to be the fandom police, suck it up and just block people and tags that make you uncomfortable like the rest of us

Anonymous asked:

guys you can just… choose to not talk about certain kintypes, esp if you know they are from something harmful 😭 like, sure, on here it’s fine, that’s what the blog is for! but it supremely sucks seeing people defend their sources from criticism when the criticism genuinely is ‘this has so much racism/antisemitism/ableism/etc.’ i have kintypes from harmful media, i get it! i just… don’t talk about them, or if i DO i recognize the harm the media has caused, and boost the voices of those it affects. also, on this point: no one ever needs to feel guilty for kinning from smth - esp spiritual kin or someone who does not control it! just be understanding of the harm the Media does, and be respectful - thats it. idk, critical thinking and respecting others is so important.

Anonymous asked:

@ post/703018736627679232 - Would you rather someone be upfront about it on my list so you can block them and move on or befriend them not knowing and then only learn it way into a friendship? I've had the latter happen before as someone who kins from a problematic source (not Hetalia), which is why I mention it upfront.

Anonymous asked:

cannot believe we are actively having hetalia discourse in 2022. don't you guys have jobs

Anonymous asked:

Respectfully, it is not the responsibility of everyone else to suppress themselves when it comes to catering to some random individual's personal discomforts. It's up to you to curate your own online experience.

Block users! Block more tags (such as # racism cw)! Don't interact with content that bothers you! Nobody is forcing you to read, reply to, or send in your own asks about sources that are triggering to you.

Also, being kin doesn't mean you support or enjoy your source's creative origins, writing, or canon at all, obviously. Identity on this level is not a moral issue, it's just a fact of being.

Anonymous asked:

Boy some of y'all are missing the point of that guy's ask about Hetalia kins. The "stop kinning" thing might've been poor wording because yeah, most people can't simply not kin anymore, but you can absolutely stop engaging with the source, stop supporting it, not list your kintypes publicly.. I kin from Hetalia too and I simply don't talk about it publicly. I actually started keeping a diary where I write about my problematic sources and kins when I get the urge to talk about it. It's helped a lot more than I thought it would, honestly. Maybe some of y'all should try that too?

Anonymous asked:

Hmmm MPC, if it’s okay, could you add on to my Hetalia ask (the one signed from a biracial POC) the addition that the anon I think was very out of line was the one who claimed only the English dub was racist, however, I was already seeing people say this before that ask, so don’t think those comments are only directed at them?

(I felt a little bad about singling someone out, but the more I think about it, I really do need to clarify that. Sorry for a SECOND discourse ask now!)

Anonymous asked:

Okay sorry to add to the discourse but I think some people are seriously conflating “kins a character from a show” to “enjoys the show.” To me, someone liking Hetalia is one of the biggest red flags, but idk why we’re acting like kintypes can be helped. They can SOMETIMES be suppressed healthily, but not always!

I totally get if you don’t want to interact with Hetaliakin. I’m not sure I could comfortably, tbh. But people keep saying stuff like “how dare you ignore the racism in that show and act like nothing is wrong with it,” when I don’t think a single person defending the ‘kin from it has said anything like that. -A mixed POC

Anonymous asked:

wrt 703034476015566848 - yes, there was someone in the replies of one of the (many) hetalia posts blaming you for their being triggered because the post was "untagged" … even though if you use blacklist properly it blocks any post with the blocked word (in this case "hetalia") even if its untagged, so its just kind of on them and i dont like seeing people put responsibility on strangers for their own caretaking lmao. sorry if commenting on it was out of place though.

Anonymous asked:

Hetalia discussion: idk why this is a discussion at all. It's between a kin identity and a history of oppression and genocide and real people's trauma and discomfort. Genuinely how is this discourse. What's more important.

[1d1195]

HIIIII it’s been a while i’m so sorry i’ve just had a terrible time since i sent my last ask :// summer is soooo kicking my ass but i am trying to persevere !!🫡 LMAO

MAKING HIM TAKE BUZZFEED QUIZZES IS SO SMART OMG I NEED TO TRY THAT !!! he said Steal My Girl 😂😂 lil basic but i can’t blame him it is a bop, we both go crazy when that one comes on

I SAW THE NEWEST UPDATE ON THE my-boyfriend-is-trying-to-be-a-writer-thread and SAMANTHA I CANT WITH YOU LMAOOOOOO this thread is so funny i just love that IT KEEPS GOING dw queen i devoured that 10k traditional chapter as if it were 1k🫡🫡🫡

also queen just wanted to let you know your stories follow me everywhere🥹 saw a framed poster on etsy titled ‘Wildflower Garden’ and it was SOOOOOOOOOO protection coded💔💔 it was a bunch of pretty flowers and it had Sweet Creature lyrics “wherever i go, you bring me home”😭😭 i love them sm he would totally buy it as a present for her on a random tuesday and they would forever hang it up in their home😭 and i saw a video on insta and i was CACKLING😭😭 some girl was talking abt how her dentist had his fingers in her mouth and she said something inappropriate and i was like ‘this is basically the plot of chapter 2 of Toothpaste’ HAHAHAHAH

i saw you posted Most and it looks SOOOO interesting but i really can’t lie im scared to read it cause everyone and their MOTHER are in your inbox hating on some bitch named lauren ??? i don’t know her AND I DONT NEED TO TO KNOW THAT IM NOT GONNA LIKE HER EITHER😭😭 THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN !!! once u post part 2 i’ll def read it🙂‍↕️🤞

I STARTED LOVE AND OTHER WORDS LAST NIGHT ??? I ALREADY LOVE IT i’m barely a hundred pages in and i’m soooo invested in their story. what gets me is homegirl KNOWS he’s the love of her life and HE KNOWS IT TOO ?? and i’m just sitting here like “make out already ???🤨” HAHAHAHA but i know it’s not that easy😔 but i will defff let you know what i think as i read some more

idk if im stupid or what but i had NO clue Christina Lauren was TWO PEOPLE AHAHAHAHAH i opened the back cover of the book and i was like😦😦 ive seen SOOO many people talk about and recommending their books yet i never knew that ?😭 i think co-writing books with your bestie is SOOO amazing omg

HOW ARE YOUUUU ?? I MISS YOU SO MUCH 💕💕 catch me up on everything, big or small it doesn’t matter 🫶🫶🫶

~🎶

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear you weren't doing well! I hope everything is okay, feel free to vent if you need to 💕 I'm so happy to hear from you, but don't feel bad about late replies, I'm happy to hear from you at all 💕

Steal My Girl reminds me of fall (the whole album does) but that was my favorite of their first song album drops. It really fit the vibe. The music video always makes me laugh. I never knew I needed to see Louis with a chimp until then 😭 A LITTLE BASIC. I'm SCREAMING. Good for him though, I don't think that's an obvious choice for casual listeners. I love it!

HAHAHAHAHA I feel like I'm truly living a double agent life. I feel a little bad but I will never tell him. He'll live without knowing. You're so kind 😭 10k of Harry being sick is usually where I start rereading Traditional. I don't think I've reread parts 1-5 since like maybe a week after I wrote them 😂

Omg that's so cute 😭 I think about that a lot, if my writing pops up in people's lives. Someone a while back sent a message that their parents got a new washer and dryer and her mom tested it with like one sock and it made her think about Love and Dryer Sheets and I just thought that was so cool 😭 I LOVE the idea of her buying the poster for her on a random Tuesday. I feel like Toothpaste is going to be simultaneously the most relatable one and least relatable one as idk if I know any hot dentists 😭 but that's really funny nonetheless!

I think I remember you telling me that you don't like to read unfinished stories? I think you did it with Dolcezza maybe; no worries either way. But knowing that, you may want to sit this one out until I get like part 2 AND 3 posted? I feel like I'm going to get "SAMANTHA -🎶" in my inbox and nothing else if you read it before it's done 😂 But yes, we HATE Lauren here. But of course I want you to read it when you have time/want to 💕 I would love to hear your thoughts!

I'm so happy you're loving it! MAKE OUT ALREADY LITERALLY. I just loved their story so so much he's so in love with her I cannot. It gets a little deeper but it hooked me so fast I couldn't put it down. I think I read it in one day.

YES. I forget how I figured it out, if I also read the back cover or if I was googling them or something idk. But it's SO cool they write together! I wish I had a writing bestie to do that with, but anyway!

I'm doing well! I think when we last chatted I was STRESSED™ over everything and now I'm MUCH less stressed thankfully. I'm really not doing a whole lot these days. Just trying to enjoy the summer even though the weather is crappy af lately. Too hot to breathe one day and then raining off and on for hours. Can't do anything outside. I made a yummy pasta dish for dinner last night and other than that, my life is pretty boring.

I hope you're doing better, I've missed you so much as well! I hope that things calm and settle for you so you can relax and enjoy 💕

xoxo

[roci-wolf]

ROCI IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY I FORGOT 😭😭😭

but okay lemme go one by one by what i remember from what you said

i’m so sorry you’ve been going through a hard time. it isn’t easy when you feel like your mental health is failing. i know firsthand how hard it can be. but i’m so so proud of you for working on yourself and your mental health. and i’m glad you decided to take a break for yourself. i hope the break has been fruitful!

and gosh i’m so sorry about your bunny :( it can’t be easy. my cats go play around away from the garden for a bit and i freak out when i don’t see them around. so i can’t imagine how terrible it must be.

but AHHHHH NEW KITTYYYYYY!!!! so excited!!! did you get the kitty already? what’d you name it? what kind of cat is it??? heheh i love cats and i’m so excited for you!!

i’m proud you’re working on your self esteem and i get that sometimes the stuff we want comfort from most tend to become the most stressful because we’re in a bad place and the magic and comfort just doesn’t feel the same and it just… ultimately feels worse cause it feels like you lost something very important to you :(

but i hope slowly you can return. i miss seeing you on here and i miss your lil asks and your opinions on my random posts jshdjsjdjsk but no pressure! take your time and i hope you feel better soon 💛💛💛 and i’ll be here~ with a bunch of comfort fics if you wanna ever read em hehe

nooo don't worry, i don't frequently check my notifs anyway so i didn't notice 😭

yeah, my biggest problem was getting out of survival mode, i am the avoidant type of person so it's very hard for me to deal with anything in my life that's out of my comfort zone, but i finally stepped up and started to figure things out. ofc it's still hard and because i've been focusing solely on survival for so long i don't really know what i want from life anymore?? but i am proud i can at least relax a bit more and i can give time to myself to think and reflect. thank you for the words~ you're so kind

yeah, i kinda got used to the idea that i'll never see my bunny again and i'm consoling myself with the thought that she's in a much better place now and that she's hopping happily without my cat bothering her lol 💗

unfortunately smth came up so i can't pick up the cat yet. i'm actually getting him from my friend bcs her cat gave birth a few month ago and she's giving me one of her kitties, but i have to wait 2 more weeks till i can finally get him. also, because i'm getting it from my friend, i actually don't know its breed 🤣 my friend doesn't know the exact breed of her cat and the dad is unknown (lol), so i can't tell for sure, but the mom is a combination of a tabby with some other fancy breed that i cannot recognise. it has many orange spots of her coat mixed with the regular tabby colors, does that make sense?? but he kitty i'm adopting has a dark coat with no orange spots at all. it looks like a tabby, but much darker than usual, idek how to explain 😭

ALSO i actually SUCK at giving pets names 😭😭 i always get overwhelmed bcs it feels like such a big responsibility to me so i always collect ideas from other people. sooo if you have any cool male cat names in mind 👀👀 i'm more than glad to hear

yeah, that's exactly how it feels with comfort places 😭😭 that's why i got away from tumblr a little bit, i didn't want it to start feeling like a 'responsibility' or like something i needed to do, i tend to do that with my hobbies sometimes and it makes them unenjoyable. i also stopped writing for a while and opening tumblr was reminding me about that and it made me feel a little guilty haha

but! it's summer vacation now and things are moving in the right direction (in my opinion at least) so who knows.

aw, THANK YOU, TI, you're so sweet 🥹🥹 i miss sending asks and answering on random stuff too 😭 i am glad i was not an annoyance with those lol

and!!! i actually do want to read what you've been posting since i disappeared 👀 is there anything you'd recommend me to read first??

[hobidreams]

rain, i hope you're doing well :( i ran out of painkillers today and even though the 24-hr pharmacies are open, i'm way too much in pain to even move <\3 while rummaging thru to find the med i got reminded of the time when mlt mc was preparing some medicine for period cramps and how much jeonha was supportive of it :(( so cute <33 and i miss you as ever <\3

-🪐

hi babe!!! im so sorry this is a late reply. i hope that you were able to feel better soon and that you wont have these painful days in the future :((((( gosh yes, i imagine that OC really thought of it as an essential thing to do for women at the time, and i wanted to show jeonha's soft side T____T HE CARES.

i miss you all tooo!! ive been so damn terrible at being online and i feel guilty about it 😭😭 ive just been dealing with my body and health, both physical and mental. thank u for this sweet, sweet message. i hope youre taking care lately and that life is kind to you 💓💗💞

[naterson]

I've had such terrible days at work that I'm literally coming home and just crying from how exhausted and over used I am 😭 I just need to vent and you don't even have to reply! So at work they're working my to the bone, making me stay till 12am on school nights and putting me to work with the slowest people there. Also we were supposed to get a .50 raise after 5 weeks of working but I either never got it or they just never told me but my other coworker got it....they also are giving the lead position to another girl even tho I worked my ass off to prove I'd be best for it, literally everyone at my bakery said I deserve it and I'm not gonna get it so I'm really sad I have to leave not because I love the job but because I'm gonna miss working with the people I consider my friends....I'm leaving because I'm fucking fed up with how they're treating me. Today the girl I close with called in and they didn't tell me they didn't even call someone else in they were literally just gonna leave me alone but luckily my favorite worker Molly said she's staying cuz it's wrong what they're doing and Jesus fuck I LOVED this job so so much but the boss has made me HATE it with a fucking passion because I'm nice and they know I'll never say no so my bosses ALWAYS take advantage of me and I'm fuckng sick of being used 😭 anyways I hope youre doing good and im sorry to just dump this on you I just needed to let it off my chest before I start crying at work. You're amazing and thanks for being my friend 💜💜

Oh no!!! 🥺 that’s awful. That’s so awful. I’m so sorry work has treated you like garbage and not the beautiful, talented, wonderful being you are. If I could, I’d come over there and kick your bosses ass. That’s honestly awful. Especially if you liked the job at some point. Maybe you can keep in contact with some of the coworkers you really liked? I had this kind of thing happen to me when I work at a grocery store. It’s just painful and awful but you need to take care of you. You need sleep and rest and time to just do what you want. You are special and important. I’m so sorry things are so rough 🥺 just know I’m more than happy to listen and talk to you. You are amazing 💕

[serenity-songbird]

Serenity ! Hiii :D

I was wondering what ur pronouns were actually?

If ur comfortable sharing that of course !!

Hi!!! 😊😊😊

I go by the pronouns she/her.

Thank you for asking. 💜💜💜

Your question had me reminiscing of the past for some reason. It also made me realize that I haven't really talked about myself that much. So here's a little more about me and how Serenity came to be. Read below if you'd like.

(I kind of also started ranting about some frustrations I had/still have about my identity and sexuality. Sorry. 😅😅😅 But hopefully it'll help you all understand me a little more. After all, I love all of my followers and I'm very grateful for your kind words and support. So thank you).

Also, I know you were literally just asking my pronouns, but it ended up being a whole bibliography. Lol. Hope you don't mind.

Warning it is a bit long...longer than I intended.

Your question had me remembering my middle school years. Back then I was confused about who I was. I had a few different phases.

I had a goth phase, then the skater boy phase, and there was a point where I didn't know if I even identified as a boy or a girl. For a while I felt that. I even started to hate the color pink.

It wasn't until I graduated high school and discovered my love for fasion and interior design that I finally discovered who I was.

I love to create things. Now I draw different outfits and I'm learning to sew. (I'm not great yet, but im getting better). I love to play games where I can create a house or building or really anything.

I guess I've become a bit of a "girly girl" who loves dresses and heels. (But I wouldn't call myself a lady. I eat like a slob and will burp without caring if anyone hears. 🤐🤐🤐). I also can be considered as a bit of a "tom boy." I like to play rough and don't mind getting dirty. I literally will walk in the rain and don't care if I get wet or my feet get muddy. I love to skateboard. (But it broke before I moved so I currently don't have one. 😭😭😭). Some of the things I do are "a thing only guys do" as my mother would say. 🙄🙄🙄

I don't really like to label anything as "a girl/boy activity or manner." But I just used those labels here to kind of explain my personality. That's why I put the quotation marks around the labels.

My mom as well as society was pretty intent on trying to shape me into what they wanted me to be back then. Polite, well-mannered, and a pretty perfect straight girl. So imagine their reaction when I dated my first girlfriend and said I was Pansexual. 😖😖😖 Yesh.

I think that's why I was so confused back then. Because all the activities that society labeled as girly or boyish screwed up by mind. That's why I thought I might be a boy. Because I liked a lot of "boyish" games, activities, or manners.

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about who I am...But I'm slowly getting better and happier!!!

So here are a few hobbies and talents I have or want to get better at:👇

I love to write stories, poems, songs, etc. I love to sing (though because I haven't sung in a while, I'm not as good as I used to be. But that's okay). I miss when I used to play guitar, flute, and piano. But one day when I get the money, I will buy myself new instruments. Might even learn to play violin if I ever get the chance. I love to act and still remember all the musicals and plays I was part of. Maybe I can do that one day too. (Not professionally though because I'd be too terrified to do it in front of more than 100 people. 😱😱😱) I love sewing, drawing, and designing, as previously mentioned.

Some fears: I have terrible social anxiety. On the I internet no one can see my face and I can actually take time to reply or answer questions. But face-to-face public!!! 😵😵😵 Scary... I have a fear of rats and mice...when I was younger I watched some big ugly rats eating this dead cat they either killed or found...*Shivers in disgust* Traumatized for life. Cockaroaches are scary too. When I would visit family in Puerto Rico when I was younger, a flying cockroach flew into my hair and got stuck. It scared the hell out of me. I'm always anxious. It's kind of like Tweek, but toned down just a smidge.

Some quirks or stims that I have: I'm definitely an airhead...Always day dreaming with my head in the clouds. Also, find myself tuning out of conversations and I have to snap back into focus. 😖😖😖 Can't stay still. Always bouncing a leg, tapping my fingers on the table, or fiddling with something. I randomly run, bounce, or jump literally scaring the shit out of my friends and family. I don't know why I do it. I just can random bursts of energy. Kind of like a bunny doing a binky. I talk to myself sometimes about what I'm doing, going to do, or when I'm daydreaming and lost in another world. I'm not crazy...Promise. 🤐🤐🤐 I can get awkward sometimes...when I don't know what to say next during conversations, so I have a tendency to spit out the first thing in My mind...It is always something completely different than what the person and I were talking about previously. And it is completely random and sometimes weird and it throws people off guard...sorry... Still, I'm a bit goofy, silly, and loud and I'm proud of it!!!

Well, there you have it. That's all I can think of to share.

I know this answer was long as hell. Lol. 😅😅😅But for some reason it just started pouring out.

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Welp, that's all folks. Thank for listening to my Ted Talk!!!

~Here's your daily dose of love.~ 😘😘😘