#i must say i am a biased though (with my source self) but like. look me in my eyes and tell me luz t*h is more weird

[snowangelkiller]

it sucks how ive literally had to drop polls bc everyone i was there for/supporting gets voted out :( this has happened so many times!!! yuck

[moved-to-void-kissed]

💬 hi im in ur inbox again feel free to ignore this one bc its longer than what the original prompt talked abt but .. would love to hear any ideas for like. if adri & luna had a "hey this is what u missed!" convo in the celebi quest .. was going to add taka in there as the timetravel partner bc im biased but elias being there also sounds funny

The fact that you took the time to send all these asks means a lot to me, friend. Thank you very much. I will not ignore this.

I will give a disclaimer that, since Adri doesn’t actually do the Celebi quest in our version of events, I hadn’t really had any ideas about this concept before you sent the ask. I had sort of envisioned lines from Adri as a part of the quest, since she can say about “don’t worry I stepped in as shadow champion while you were gone and before shelly became the new champion! after luna became an elite four member I took up a position as ghost-type gym leader and I take my battles in iolia valley”. However, this is something a bit different.

(source: this post by queenieboo22)

send me 💬 and a character and I’ll give you a line my self-insert would say if in a canon interaction with them - this is a full default Anna Route situation, meaning Elias is the other time traveller and it’s also in tier 3 instead of post-Tao Trio where you moved it to.

If you just want the one line: “I’m just.. so sorry that I left you all alone!”

And if you’d like the whole (dialogue-only) conversation: it’s under the readmore.

Luna: “My love.. It really is you! You’re still exactly as I remember you.. Oh, I cannot express how happy I am to see you again!”

Adriana: “I know it hasn’t been as long for me, but I am so glad to see you as well, Luna! How have you fared? Is everything alright?”

Luna: “Yes, with all things considered, I like to think I've done quite well for myself. I'm one of the Elite Four now, you see!”

Adriana: "Oh! That's amazing, Luna, congratulations! You're truly deserving of the title."

Luna: "Hehe, thank you kindly! I have been working closely with the Champion to help her keep a better record of this region's history, as well as to preserve what aspects of its old culture would be remiss to lose entirely. It would have been lovely to have you here to see our progress, I must admit."

Adriana: “I am so sorry.. If not for the Relic Stone in our original time being so inaccessible, we wouldn’t have had to travel through time like we did..”

Luna: “Ah, don’t worry too much; when the Champion figured out the answer, it brought us all much solace. Though it was still a miserable affair for myself, and others too, to begin with. Incidentally, where is.. the man who travelled through time with you..?”

Adriana: “As far as I’m aware, Elias is still.. Ah, yes. Up on the stairs over there, still miserably losing in a shouting match with Radomus.”

Luna: “Hah! I daresay Father shall trounce him in all arguments he could muster. ..I cannot say I was sad to be free of him. Though with the young master having previously been lost to us as well.. nothing remained of that time to me anymore. And I must admit, it was not entirely a miserable childhood when I look back on the time I spent with him..”

Adriana: “You’re.. referring to Taka?”

Luna: “Yes. I'm afraid that, even as we worked to deal with the anomalies from the New World, the only person we found from before was that young man who fell into the Void alongside us both; Cain, I believe."

Adriana: "Oh, I see.. Well, I'm glad Cain was brought back, at least. But I wish the same was true for Taka somehow, as well, even considering his fate. I know that you and him had grown up together, after all.."

Luna: "I know that I'm blessed to be part of such a lovely family, but.. With you gone, even once we realised you would return someday, it still wasn't easy. Nobody was surprised when I took up the training of Ghost-types once I joined the Elite Four, after all."

Adriana: "They are your secondary type specialty?"

Luna: "Of course! Not only do they fare quite well on my battlefield of choice, so it was a logical choice from that perspective as the final Trainer before the Champion, but.. I felt it was only natural to honour you in any way I could."

Adriana: "That's.. Luna, I'm not sure I know what to say.."

Luna: "My love.. Why are you crying?"

Adriana: “I’m just.. so sorry that I left you all alone! And- the fact that you did something like that for my sake.. You really didn't have to do anything like that at all!”

Luna: "Oh, there's no need for you to apologise! It is what I wanted. Please, come here; it's alright, I promise.."

Adriana: "Ah- Thank you.. If you're sure, then, thank you. To be entirely honest, the whole concept of being ten years in the future is still.. a little bit overwhelming to me. Seeing everyone and how they have grown older.. It's lovely, but it takes a lot out of me."

Luna: "I can only imagine how surreal this must be for you. But, even so, we hoped - and later, knew - that you would return someday. Even though you most likely aren't able to stay here with us as we are now, I have faith that everyone who's here at the moment will still be here once you reach this point yourself. In fact, I believe that with you still in our lives for these past ten years, as the shining shadow that you are and always have been.. It's safe to say that things will turn out even better than they already are for us now."

Adriana: "Hehe.. I must admit, I would like that. I want to be there for you, and for all of my friends here. Thank you, Luna.."

Luna: “It is never a problem! So please, do not worry, my love. When Celebi takes you back to the time you originally came here from, and ten years pass for us both.. I know that I will be standing here alongside you still.”

[96thdayofrage]

The anti-racism consulting industry does deserve both some sympathy and some credit. Its intention, to prod white Americans into more awareness of their own racism, is beneficent. And their premise that white people are often unaware of the degree to which racial privilege has enabled their success, which they can mistakenly attribute entirely to merit and effort, is correct. American society is shot through with multiple overlapping systems of racial bias — from exposure to harmful pollution to biased policing to unequal access to education to employment discrimination — that in combination sustain massive systemic inequality.

But the anti-racism trainers go beyond denying the myth of meritocracy to denying the role of individual merit altogether. Indeed, their teaching presents individuals as a racist myth. In their model, the individual is subsumed completely into racial identity.

One of DiAngelo’s favorite examples is instructive. She uses the famous story of Jackie Robinson. Rather than say “he broke through the color line,” she instructs people instead to describe him as “Jackie Robinson, the first Black man whites allowed to play major-league baseball.”

It is true, of course, that Robinson was not the first Black man who was good enough at baseball to make a major-league roster. The Brooklyn Dodgers decided, out of a combination of idealism and self-interest, to violate the norm against signing Black players. And Robinson was chosen due to a combination of his skill and extraordinary personality that allowed him to withstand the backlash in store for the first Black major leaguer. It is not an accident that DiAngelo changes the story to eliminate Robinson’s agency and obscure his heroic qualities. It’s the point. Her program treats individual merit as a myth to be debunked. Even a figure as remarkable as Robinson is reduced to a mere pawn of systemic oppression.

One way to understand this thinking is to place it on a spectrum of thought about race. On the far right is open white supremacy, which instructs white people to fight for their interests as white people. (Hence the 14-word slogan, “We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children.”) Moving to the left, standard-issue conservatism tends to discount the existence of racism and treat all problems in pure color-blind terms, as though racism has been banished. To the left of that is standard liberalism, which acknowledges the existence of racism as a problem that complicates simple race-neutral solutions.

The ideology of the racism-training industry is distinctively to the left of that. It collapses all identity into racial categories. “It is crucial for white people to acknowledge and recognize our collective racial experience,” writes DiAngelo, whose teachings often encourage the formation of racial affinity groups. The program does not allow any end point for the process of racial consciousness. Racism is not a problem white people need to overcome in order to see people who look different as fully human — it is totalizing and inescapable.

Of course, DiAngelo’s whites-only groups are not dreamed up in the same spirit as David Duke’s. The problem is that, at some point, the extremes begin to functionally resemble each other despite their mutual antipathy.

I want to make clear that when I compare the industry’s conscious racialism to the far right, I am not accusing it of “reverse racism” or bias against white people. In some cases its ideas literally replicate anti-Black racism.

Glenn Singleton, president of Courageous Conversation, a racial-sensitivity training firm, tells Bergner that valuing “written communication over other forms” is “a hallmark of whiteness,” as is “scientific, linear thinking. Cause and effect.”

This is not some idiosyncratic oddball notion. The African-American History Museum has a page on whiteness, which summarizes the ideas that the racism trainers have brought into relatively wide circulation.

“White” values include things like “objective, rational thinking”; “cause and effect relationships”; “hard work is the key to success”; “plan for the future”; and “delayed gratification.” The source for this chart is another, less-artistic chart written by Judith Katz in 1990. Katz has a doctorate in education and moved into the corporate consulting world in 1985, where, according to her résumé, she has “led many transformational change initiatives.” It is not clear what in Katz’s field of study allowed her to establish such sweeping conclusions about the innate culture of white people versus other groups.

One way to think through these cultural generalizations is to measure them against its most prominent avatar for racial conflict, Donald Trump. How closely does he reflect so-called white values? The president hardly even pretends to believe that “hard work” is the key to success. The Trump version of his alleged success is that he’s a genius who improvises his way to brilliant deals. The realistic version is that he’s a lazy heir who inherited and cheated his way to riches, and spends most of his time watching television. Trump is likewise incapable of delayed gratification, planning for the future, and regards “objective rational thinking” with distrust. On the other hand, Barack Obama is deeply devoted to all those values.

Now, every rule has its exceptions. Perhaps the current (white) president happens to be alienated from the white values that the previous (Black) president identified with strongly. But attaching the values in question to real names brings to life a point the racism trainers seem to elide: These values are not neutral at all. Hard work, rational thought, and careful planning are virtues. White racists traditionally project the opposite of these traits onto Black people and present them as immutable flaws. Jane Coaston, who has reported extensively on the white-nationalist movement, summarizes it, “The idea that white people are just good at things, or are better inherently, more clean, harder working, more likely to be on time, etc.”

In his profile, Bergner asked DiAngelo how she could reject “rationalism” as a criteria for hiring teachers, on the grounds that it supposedly favors white candidates. Don’t poor children need teachers to impart skills like that so they have a chance to work in a high-paying profession employing reasoning skills?

DiAngelo’s answer seems to imply that she would abolish these high-paying professions altogether:

“Capitalism is so bound up with racism. I avoid critiquing capitalism — I don’t need to give people reasons to dismiss me. But capitalism is dependent on inequality, on an underclass. If the model is profit over everything else, you’re not going to look at your policies to see what is most racially equitable.”

(Presumably DiAngelo’s ideal socialist economy would keep in place at least some well-paid professions — say, “diversity consultant,” which earns her a comfortable seven-figure income.)

Singleton, likewise, proposed evolutionary social changes to the economy that would render it unnecessary to teach writing and linear thought to minority children. Bergner writes:

I asked whether guiding administrators and teachers to put less value, in the classroom, on capacities like written communication and linear thinking might result in leaving Black kids less ready for college and competition in the labor market. “If you hold that white people are always going to be in charge of everything,” he said, “then that makes sense.” He invoked, instead, a journey toward “a new world, a world, first and foremost, where we have elevated the consciousness, where we pay attention to the human being.”

Whether or not a world along these lines will ever exist, or is even possible to design, is at best uncertain. What is unquestionably true is that these revolutionary changes will not be completed within the lifetime of anybody currently alive. Which is to say, a program to deny the value of teaching so-called white values to Black children is to condemn them to poverty. Unsurprisingly, Bergner’s story shows two educators exposed to the program and rebelling against it. One of them, Leslie Chislett, had to endure some ten anti-racism training sessions before eventually snapping at the irrationality of a program that denigrates learning. “The city has tens of millions invested in A.P. for All, so my team can give kids access to A.P. classes and help them prepare for A.P. exams that will help them get college degrees,” she says, “and we’re all supposed to think that writing and data are white values?”

Ibram X. Kendi, another successful entrepreneur in the anti-racism field, has a more frontal response to this problem. The achievement gap — the long-standing difference in academic performance between Black and white children — is a myth, he argues. The supposed gap merely reflects badly designed tests, he argues. It does not matter to him how many different kinds of measures of academic performance show this to be true. Nor does he seem receptive to the possibility that the achievement gap reflects environmental factors (mainly worse schools, but also access to nutrition, health care, outside learning, and so on) rather than any innate differences.

Kendi, like DiAngelo, argues that racism must be defined objectively. Intent does not matter, only effect. Their own intentions are surely admirable. But the fact is that their insistence on denying that America provides its Black children worse educations inhibits working toward a solution. Denying the achievement gap, like denying the gap in how police treat white and Black people, seems to objectively entrench racism.

It’s easy enough to see why executives and school administrators look around at a country exploding in righteous indignation at racism, and see the class of consultants selling their program of mystical healing as something that looks vaguely like a solution. But one day DiAngelo’s legions of customers will look back with embarrassment at the time when a moment of awakening to the depth of American racism drove them to embrace something very much like racism itself.

[funkymbtifiction]

Dominant Ni

Hey Charity, I hope you can help me with something again! I have typed myself as an INTJ 1w2 cp6w5 3w4 so/sp and for the most part it fits me well. But as much as INTJ is only type that actually matches my thought process, there is something that bugs me. All over internet, people say that dominant Ni skips over the facts and easily engage in theoritical conversation for their own sake, but I am not usually like that. Everything I do must have a clear purpose, so when I do abstract conversation, I do it with the purpose of strengthening my reasoning skills and increasing my knowledge on something. Even though  my hunchs are usually accurate (sometimes I do feel like a prophet, LOL), I always try to provide evidence for them. In fact, I tend to look everything that comes from within (feelings, thoughts, ideas) with a bit of skepticism as I believe one’s perception could easily be inaccurate and biased. For me everything must be filtered through the lens of how “can I prove it? What is the source of this information? Can I measure, quantify, verify? How does it impact me or the world at large? Is it useful?” Even my interest in science since I was a child comes from a desire to bring order to the world by exploring the unknown and provide answers that can be empirically verified. Apparently this kind of reasoning don’t seem to mesh with dominant Ni as they seem to go about the world believing on their hunches 100%. Do you think this is a result of my being a core 1 or just healthy auxiliary Te? Thanks for your help!

PS. I’m pretty sure I am a Ni/Se user and that I have higher Te. Maybe I could be an ENTJ but they usually are way more self-confident and aggressive that I am (As it is, I try to stay away from confrontation because I don’t know to deal with people’s heightened emotions without losing my temper and making a fool of myself).

Sounds like healthy Te usage. Strong Te users don’t see the point in doing things that are frivolous or have no point to them. You’re also the most productive-oriented tritype (136) and none of those fixes like to waste their time on unimportant things or pointless hypothesizing; your 3 fix is also oriented toward ‘usefulness’ so the is the tritype the least-likely to engage in theoretical conversations for their own sake.

As for the possibility of being an ENTJ, you would have to consider Se and Fi usage and which one is higher and used more skillfully in daily activities -- not outer behaviors like being aggressive or self-confident. :)

- ENFP Mod

[kariachi]

Okay, so now I’ve gotta get to work finding shit out for trainers, because I’m apparently horribly self-destructive. The problem is here’s where I have to figure out the one big thing- just how much does it cost for the standard person to live in the pokemon world, and the corollary- how much does it cost a wandering trainer to live in the pokemon world?

(To read the first post on this topic, focusing on contests and coordinators, start here)

Okay, so, given Pokemon Centers appear to be free I think we can assume the pokemon world has free healthcare (I should hope we’d get free healthcare before free vet care) so we don’t have to worry about that.  There’s also free board at them, but I’ve been running with the assumption that it’s for people with trainers licenses (which are probably common, honestly, given kids can get them, they’re probably cheap to get but less so to renew) and the accommodations are probably pretty barebones. Still, you don’t really see people going around without homes, and with pokemon the costs of construction are probably lower. We still have the filthy rich, but they seem less filthy rich than we have to deal with (I don’t think we’ve seen a billionaire yet in pokemon, I could be wrong) so mayhaps this free healthcare is because the fuckers are actually getting taxed properly.

So, healthcare probably isn’t a thing and housing is probably cheaper (we see a lot of people in apartments, but maintaining the environment is a big deal in this world so it makes sense people would build up and have multi-family homes rather than spread out). Food bills are probably higher for most households, if just because most people have pokemon and those things gotta eat. like I can’t help but think a Houndoom probably eats more than a similarly-sized dog, ya know? Though there’s still the question of availability. One would expect food to be easy to come by, given all the benefits pokemon bring and how quickly things like berries grow, how much Miltank produce, but then we’ve got Jesse’s backstory... I don’t know.

Public transportation also seems to be free, at least for trainers, which re can probably tie back into the whole ‘they actually tax their rich’ thing.

So, I think for this I am going to base numbers off a family budget calculator I have bookmarked (you’d be amazed how often it comes in handy), looking at a single adult with no children living in a mid-range area to get my baseline, then removing things like transportation and healthcare from the costs while adding to the food bill to account for pokemon. We’ll assume the average for the pokemon is half the food expenses of the owners, because we want to feed our friends well and the variety of species means a wide range of needs (an Aron eating metal is not going to be fed as cheaply as an Arcanine with pokechow).

So, going by those numbers, our estimated cost of living for a single, childless adult is $20-25k a year in the pokemon world. Of course numbers will vary, but we’re not here to get so deep we’re gnawing seagrass so we’ll just take that as our baseline. Which means hey! Our second friend from the contests income post was doing better than expected! Still not enough to live off of alone, but definitely a good way to making a decent living.

Of course we still have to worry about the cost of living for a wandering trainer though. They’re going to have more pokemon who are more active, and be more active themselves, so we’ll just straight double the food budget from what just the trainer alone would need. Plus they’re going to need the extra supplies of pokeballs and potions and the like- first aid needs are going to be huge. But they don’t have household expenses, which should help them a fair bit.

I’m using thru-hike costs as a baseline here, since hiking seems to be the major method of travel for these things, so individuals unable to do long hikes for one reason or another are likely to have very different numbers. I won’t go into them here but think longer travel times, differences in gear needed (if you’re in a wheelchair and trying for the ‘authentic’ experience the gear needed is going to be much different and probably more expensive), or even simply more time spent in town while taking vehicular transport around the place. Though even still it’s annoying because does anybody have a good average cost dear fuck. Some people recommend $1,000 a month as a minimum, some $700, some as high as $2,000, and these of course are all including things our trainers don’t need and missing our additional pokemon feeding budget.

We also need to account for various factors that thru-hikers don’t generally deal with. For instance, in areas with things like snow trainers are likely to spend a good portion of the year in town, with free rooms and healthcare but higher expenses, while they wait for weather you can safely travel in.

$1,000 seems to be a good average, and we can easily slot things like extra trainer gear into the budget space normally reserved for hotel stays. We still need to add in the pokemon feeding budget, and account for things like extra time in town due to seasonal changes though. So we’ll bump that number up to, say, $1,700, which is high but allows for these things. This means that our estimated cost of living for a wandering trainer is about $20,400. So the low end of the cot of living we already put down, and it could go higher or lower depending on the needs of the individual (someone with only one pokemon who doesn’t have to worry about weather will be spending less than someone with health concerns who lives somewhere it snows six months out of the year) but it’s a solid average to have.

Now, though, we need to work out how much they can expect to make from their profession, and for that we’re going to have to figure out the most consistent source of income for a wandering trainer- gym battle winnings. They have an advantage over the coordinators here. They may have to sleep in tents a lot, but they also don’t have to pay an entrance fee to try to make money.

First up we need to find out how much one earns from beating a gym, monetarily. The games have a whole set-up, but ti’s very much set on the whole gaming scale and we’re working beyond that. Instead we’re going to average the prize money from a game and call that the standard. We’ll be using my favorite region, Johto, and my favorite games in the regions, Heart Gold and Soul Silver, because I’m biased and I can.

(1560 + 1800 + 2280 + 2760 + 3720 + 4200 + 4080 + 4920) / 8 = 3,165 which I think we can safely round up to $3,200 per gym.

Now, if we assume that one can hit eight gyms a year, 3200*8 = $25,600 in gym winnings a year. Which not only would cover their expenses but also give them some wiggle room. Heck, even if they can’t hit all eight in a year (though it should be doable, I can’t imagine most regions take more time to traverse than the US would and nine months to cross it on foot is more than doable) even just getting six gets them most of the way to their expenses covered, and this isn’t even counting prize money for battling other trainers, or selling items found along trails as we see trainers do in canon.

Heck, a person could probably make some nice coin just getting a team of pokemon with Pickup and selling what they find, especially since when you’re out hiking those items are less likely to be potions and antidotes and more likely to be berries, mushrooms, and nice rocks.

But fuck, while I’m here I probably ought to do something with that whole ‘prize money from battling other trainers’ things, shouldn’t I? It’s kind’ve a big part of the whole mess... We’ll do that, then move onto the League Championships and how much money I think is probably earned for that mess.

The problem with working the trainer prize money out is that in-game mechanics aren’t really any help here. So, we’re going to have to work shit out for ourselves and because I do have limits on how difficult I want to make things for myself- shocking, I know- I’m going to say that the number varies from battle to battle and trainer to trainer. Custom dictates a minimum amount of money you can give to a trainer who’s beaten you (the cost of a potion, about $5) but otherwise it’s figured out by the trainers themselves. Upon agreeing to battle the trainers will negotiate a prize, normally never more than $1,000 but sometimes you find an obnoxious rich guy you know you can take and, well. As a result income from battling other trainers can vary wildly, but one can make some decent pocket change that way. Just don’t pick on the little kids.

Now, onto the League. This one’s gonna get the same treatment as the contests

Pokemon League Championships (Entry Fee: $250 + 8 badges from within the region)

1st: $9,000 + League Cup + League Champion title

2nd: $5,000

3rd: $3,000

4th: $2,500

5th: $2,000

6th: $1,500

7th: $1,000

8th: $500

This may seem rather low if you’ve also looked at the numbers for contests, but entry is also... not easier but certainly something more likely to be obtained. It’s not fair, but little in life ever is, really. As it stands the league otherwise functions the same as the Grand Festival- each region’s requires a certain number of prizes already won to prove one’s place and this requirement must be repeated for each. If you enter a Grand Festival or Pokemon League Championship than the ribbons or badges you use to do so will be registered and cannot be used for the same purpose again. You’ll have to re-earn them to have another go.

Most wandering trainers don’t bother, only going through a region once or twice before moving on to the next. It’s the balance between the two professions. You may never make a living being a coordinator, but you can have a stable home if you so wish. A wandering trainer will be able to make a living off their work, but as the name implies to do so they have to stay on the move, always searching for that next challenge.

But, if that’s the life you want, is that really a bad thing?

[honeyrose-tea]

this has been a strange start to the new year for sure. how are you doing? what did you think of the situation in the capitol? any thoughts or worries about the rest of the month? I'm curious to hear your thoughts on everything. -🌙

thank you so much for the ask💞 almost every day I check my inbox anticipating the next time I'll hear from you. just knowing that someone cares.... it really does a lot for my self-esteem. I don't have many friends right now and the few I do are very busy and have a lot of things they would rather do than talk to me. thank you for making time to listen to me and ask me how I'm doing. you wouldn't believe how many people don't. I haven't always been the most consistent presence for you and I'm sorry. I'm trying to do better and be less selfish because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of that. thank you for always being kind to me, pen pal.

there is a lot I want to say regarding the capitol and the situation in the country in general. as a social science student (and hopefully one day a professor!) these situations are of great academic interest to me. as a bisexual woman and an informed US citizen who cares about my rights I am also very personally vested in American issues. but first I would like to tackle your question regarding how I'm doing:)

I'm doing pretty good. classes have started back up but most of mine are online. I'm thinking of switching to online exclusively because of how much emotional (and sometimes physical) labor in-person classes are, and also for the sake of my health and my parents'. it's funny how so many things we did with ease before the pandemic seem so burdensome now. even small interactions are anxiety-inducing now, and I find myself having a hard time socializing even casually. like a muscle that has atrophied without use, my social skills are awful now. on a happier note, my productivity and creativity are both at all-time highs since social interactions aren't using up all my energy anymore. I brought my record player to my dorm room and I've been listening to a bunch of music, I've also been writing and recording some music of my own. I have a couple of demos and if you or anyone else is interested, I'll post them on here. once I record and edit full band versions I'll put them up on my soundcloud. I've tried sharing some of my stuff with some friends but none of them really care and I don't want to annoy them. besides, it's more for myself anyway. I wang to prove to myself that I can make music and that I can say something worth saying. a lot of my struggle over the past 6 months has been that I feel as though nothing I do or say can change anything, that none of my actions matter. I struggle a lot with control and I've been working on it for years, but it's still really hard for me. anyway. I'm enjoying class and what I do outside of it. I've been in my element living alone again (in my dorm) and feeling free to wear/do/say what I want, when I want. I wash my dishes and sing to myself and manage my time and drink lots of artificially sweetened and heavily flavored coffee without anyone around to judge me. and I get to cry and masturbate when I want, both of which are helpful in regulating my moods. I don't know. it's not like I'm doing anything exciting, but I am doing each thing I do well and with a happy heart. I feel like this portion of my life is something of a hibernation- the winter seasons combined with the pandemic have me in a cozy little daydream, reading and self-reflecting and getting back in tune with myself and my passions. I have a feeling that the spring and summer will be very vibrant bustling months so I am trying to enjoy my rest and soak in as much knowledge about myself and the world around me as I can. it's hard for me to live in the present and not get antsy (connected to control issues, I think) but I'm getting better at it. on the subject of the future, I've also been using this time to look into grad school and prepare for the GRE (a standardized test required for most grad school applications, similar to the ACT/SAT). I'm learning a lot that I didn't know since neither of my parents went further than undergrad, and I'm getting excited. I'm really looking forward to doing research. I've already been collecting some thesis ideas for an undergraduate-level thesis that I have to complete next year for the honors college, and hopefully I can turn that into a masters and/or PHD thesis when the time comes. now, on to more important matters than my silly little life.

I have very complicated feelings about america. I do have some attachment to some of the original ideas that are at the foundation- "bring me your huddled masses...", "all men are created equal", the general spirit of democracy, etc.- all of these are valid and worth keeping (in some form) to me. I think a lot of good people and ideas exist around us and I believe that we must be as empathetic and kind as possible to one another in order to navigate the current climate and preserve the good that we do have. that said, america was also founded on some pretty terrible, bigoted principles and our history- as well as our present- is marred by injustices. our society has become highly individualistic because of capitalism, and it has resulted in considerable division on every level. the competition that fuels capitalism is like an invasive species of plant, it does not only exist within our economy but it slithers out into our social world and the way we relate to others. I think capitalism coupled with our post-enlightenment founding is the source of most all of our problems as a country. capitalism has taken root in america in a way more malicious and all-consuming than in any other culture, because it was there at the beginning of our country and all of our social norms have grown out of it. many other cultures have existed long before capitalism and though it has modified their culture, it has not altogether become it. because america was founded on capitalism, we have no cultural identity outside of it. america is, itself, capitalism. that is precisely why america is experiencing all of the best and worst parts of capitalism at their most extreme. it is why, as I mentioned previously, we are perhaps the most divisive and competitive society in the modern world, and probably in history. we are the richest and most powerful country but we have the largest wealth gap and incarceration rate, among many other extremes.

all of this is to say that the rise of Trump and fascism in this country has been a long time coming, and unmistakably inevitable. to defeat it we will have to break america down to its fundamentals, throw out everything that is unethical and unjust, and rebuild our entire society from there. this is radical and hard to imagine, it will also be very difficult to execute, but I strongly believe that much of our societal systems just cannot be reformed, they must be thrown out and replaced.

the capitol riots were inexcusable and sickening but decidedly inevitable. this has been steadily building for america's entire existence. I think it will get worse before it gets better, as there are already plans for bigger and more numerous protests across the country in the following weeks. that said, I feel hopeful as I see the anti-fascist movement grow in the wake of fascism, I am hopeful as I see many people being radicalized and awakened to the realities of this country's failings. I don't know how exactly we will even begin to rid ourselves of the biases, prejudices, and downright hatred that plagues our country. I don't know how we will relate on an individual level to those with such deeply-ingrained hate in their hearts. I don't know how we will change our systems of government and economy to reflect new cultural values that we begin to build together. I am not sure what the future will hold. I do believe, however, that we will triumph over this moment and that the future will be better. I think that the only way to radically change and unite so many vastly different people and remove the blinders from their eyes is through a terrible, historic awakening like the one we are having now. the situation itself is awful, but I am hopeful that out of this mess we become a nation more committed to justice and to some of the ideals which we have falsely claimed to be emulating for our entire history.

so yes, I am worried about the next few weeks, months, and even years. there is no end to the pursuit of a just society, and I think every informed citizen is always a bit apprehensive about certain aspects of their culture. there will always be problems to combat and injustices to rectify, but I think that we will soon be moving to a better place, that we will remember these moments and say, "never again". I am hopeful, despite seeing some of the worst of humanity in recent days, that these atrocities will bring positive change.

I know that was long and instead of discussing issues about the capitol, or even just current political issues, I expanded the scope considerably and dragged in a lot of things from history and grander sociopolitical theories. still, I think it is hard to talk about the insurrection attempt without talking about a lot more. thank you for reading my takes and caring about them. I spend a lot of time thinking about these things, and it feels nice to share them with someone other than my annoyed professors who want me to shut up so they can finish the lecture and stick to their semester schedule.

I hope you're well and that you're staying safe and healthy. are you in school now too? have you or your family had the virus? thank you for coming to talk to me, I always enjoy it. I'll talk to you again soon💞

[raisingsupergirl]

I Didn't Vote

Yep, you heard it right. On 11/3/20, I didn't go anywhere near the polls. I woke up, went to work, went home, and went to bed. Sure, I'd had a long day, but I certainly had a chance to swing by and punch my ticket. I thought about doing it. From the time I woke up I thought about it. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it, and I didn't really know why. Even the next day I couldn't figure it out. And I've been mulling it over since then. I still don't have a satisfying reason, but at least I have a reason. Actually, I have several.

Okay, let's get this out of the way. My first reason for not voting is ignorance. No, not on the part of the political candidates, or social media, or you. I didn't vote because I'm ignorant. I know so little about the two old guys (and there was a woman, too, right? That third-party so-and-so?) fighting to "rule" our country. Here's what I do know… First, Trump: He's filthy rich. He owns some companies (honestly couldn't tell you which ones). He had a TV show (can't remember the name) and a tower. He has been our president for the past four years, and he did some things that veterans and conservatives like (I can't tell you with certainty even one thing that he's responsible for changing). He's a republican, but I think he used to be a democrat. I also think his wife's name is Ivanka, he has a daughter, and his VP is Mike Pence. Lastly, people either love him or hate him, which has only further divided our nation. He comes off at different times as a megalomaniac, a bully, and an idiot (though he may not be any of those things. Who knows?). He has no filter, he has Twitter, and he claims that everyone else is out to lie, steal, and cheat to make him look bad, which is ironic, because his ridiculous hair does that all on its own. And now on to the other guy.

I actually forget Joe Biden's name a lot. I want to call him Pence or Kerry or even McCain. Seriously, though that's not saying much. I'm horrible with names. But I also forget what he looks like. When I think about him, all I see is Jim Carrey. Oh! That must be why I tend to call him Kerry in my head. Silly me. Now… what about him? He's a lifetime politician, he's democrat, and he's really old. I know that much. And his running mate is a woman, I think. Seems like he's probably going to be our next president based on the Electoral College, but I couldn't tell you with confidence what that means. And that's about it. Honestly, I don't know anymore than that.

But why don't I know more? Am I dumb? Well… I don't think so. I received a master's degree over a decade ago (with honors, no less), and I like to think I've only grown smarter and wiser since then. I love learning new things—ideas, talents, how things work. But one of those things just isn't politics. So, the second reason I didn't vote is disinterest (I'm racking up quite a compelling argument, I know). I've written about how I don't have a passion for BLM even though I think it's a worthy cause. And I think the main reason is because it falls under the "politics" umbrella in my mind. Too many people with too many emotions and not enough listening. I just don't have the stomach for it. I would rather spend my one life changing the world one person at a time. I'd rather show love to my neighbor (as a Christian), fix someone's knee pain (as a physical therapist), and help other people get their ideas across clearer (as an editor). And, if I'm being honest, all of the doom saying just doesn't scare me. I'm a country boy at heart, and I have simple needs. My family is small, and I have a cabin in the woods. I was sad when Y2K didn't happen. I love individual people, but I'm not a big fan of society. In large groups, people are mean and naïve. And so, fear just doesn't enter into the equation for me. Life is so much bigger than what the marketing campaigns claim.

If you haven't caught on yet, I'm a bit of a skeptic. I don't know if I was born that way, but I became aware of it in college. I didn't particularly like my research classes, but I loved learning how to read scientific articles. Specifically, I love learning how to recognize BS (Biased Science, that is…). I have a knack for seeing through it in any situation. I can generally tell when people are lying, and even though I don't know everything, I do understand concepts, theories, and ideas better than the average person. And like Aristotle (and Plato), I'm keenly aware of my own ignorance as well as that of others. I see how people embrace sensationalized "fake news" and assume causality just because of correlation. Everyone does it. I do it. But I'm aware of it. I'm aware of social media algorithms, of herd mentality, of confirmation bias. And so, the third reason I didn't vote is because I assume everyone is either lying or buying into lies (lying and bullying are my two biggest pet peeves, by the way). And we've already established that I don't have the time or the energy (or the mental capacity) to learn the truth of every political topic and use those truths to set everyone straight. But hey, at least I'm honest…

Remember when I said earlier that fear didn't factor into the equation for me? Yeah, obviously that’s not true. I mean, sure, I'm not afraid of societal collapse or the end of the world. But I'm obviously afraid of being wrong. We've established that I don't know much about Trump or Kerr—er… Biden. That I'm ignorant about politics, in general. And we know that I'm a skeptic—that I have to come to my own conclusions. And most of the time that looks like stubbornness. I hate being told what to do. I hate being micromanaged. I hate the virus on my computer that sets Bing as my default search engine instead of Google. I hate the alarm on my wife's van that makes me wear my seat belt. And I hate the Facebook banners that keep telling me it's my duty to vote. I'm a grown boy. I can make those decisions all on my own. And I will not blindly trust a random source with dubious intentions to make those decisions for me. And, as much as I love my friends, I don't buy their claims that it's my duty to vote, either. Countless brave men and women did not die for my DUTY to vote. They died for my freedom to do so. Same as my freedom to be a Christian. Which means I'm also free to NOT vote.

But why wouldn't I WANT to vote? Because I'm afraid of whom I would have voted for. I'm aware of where I live and what my local culture thinks. In short, I voted for Trump last time, and I probably would have voted for him this time. And I couldn't stomach that thought (side note: I do have one regret, and that’s not voting local. I do know people personally who were running for office--as well as local bills--but I missed the opportunity to vote on things that I DO know about because of my fear of voting for the “wrong” president). It’s not that I doubted that Trump would do positive things while in office (even though, as I said, I'm not sure what he actually did the past four years…), but I'm just so tired of everybody acting insane. There's a reason I don't have cable. There's a reason I only get on social media to post pictures and check my notifications. And while I don't buy into all the sensationalism claiming the president has ultimate power, I do believe that he has a microphone. And a Twitter account. And even though our government is based on checks and balances, our media definitely isn't. If Biden is, in fact, our president for the next four years, my only hope is that he'll keep his mouth shut.

Okay, everyone's mad at me now. And that's okay. I put myself out there. I was honest about my ignorance, my bias, and my fear, which is more than I can say about most other people (presidents included). And maybe my honesty will compel others (you?) to reevaluate the "truths" they (you?) assume are self-evident. It's taken me four years, but I finally understand what "Make America Great Again" means. What would it take for our country to be great? Accountability. That's it. If every man, woman, and child did everything possible to give back to our country, we WOULD be great. If we worked hard to repair crumbling buildings, if we painted breathtaking murals, if we learned classical philosophy and used it shape our thoughts, if we refused to blame someone else for our unhappiness, if we did everything in our INDIVIDUAL power to contribute to the greater whole, if we truly loved our neighbors and gave them the shirt off of our back regardless of their political leanings… THAT would make us great. Right now, we're all so divided. We're all so afraid and easily manipulated. I've chosen to put my time and energy into things "smaller" than politics, but that doesn't mean I don't care about the future of my country. Quite the opposite, in fact. And hopefully, when I'm dead and gone, my tombstone won't read, "The guy who didn't vote in the 2020 presidential election."

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Weird “It Honestly Depends”

@insertunoriginalusername gave me he prompt for this idea, I pretty much sat with it as I was working, so they should honestly get most of the credit for this one. Sorry if this one doesn't seem up to scratch, I got really used to writing the exciting Out of Warp Arc in my novel style, and now I have to get used to writing some of the older ones again. Hope you like it anyway :)

“Alright everyone, Quiet down…… I SAID QUIET! Down….” That’s better.

The large semicircular auditorium grew quiet as the assembled students finally ceased their chatter and took their seats, hundreds of legs clattered against the floor, carapace shifted, and mandibles tapped as the students leaned forward in anticipation.

There were hundreds of them with thousands of eyes all staring forward expectantly in anticipation of what was to come. The, small Tesraki professor stood at the front of the room and adjusted his translating device with a thin hand, “Were you all able to purchase the required packet for this moths lessons.”

The room shifted around them with a murmur.

They had, this was a book they actually wanted to read, information they were interested in learning.

“Good.” The professor said, looking around at the assembled students with a critical eye. Most of these students had been previously trained in universities and programs across the cosmos. Some of them had been educated in the old ways of their planets, but as the Galactic Assembly grew larger, and more accessible, more and more students were turning their attention to knowledge gained off world. However, settings like the current one they were in right now, was designed specifically for a high turnover of information. It was up to the students to do with it as they could.

Generally speaking, they would need to be diligent and quick in their studies to complete this course and go into the ensuing fields. Many of them wished to be diplomats, politicians, and cultural scientists, studying other races across the cosmos. This meant learning as much as they could about all existing races and their culture before being allowed into the field.

This week, they were learning about the humans…. Everyone wanted to learn about humans. And, of course, with this species, it wasn’t enough to learn just about their culture. Without the context of the human homeworld, there was no freezable way to understand the human’s culture. Unlike other unites, this unit included, biology, geography, chemistry, and neuroscience, all in order to explain human behavior and cultural customs.

The packet they had been ordered to purchase was an extension of the current texts, and was supposed to contain all the primary research and information currently possessed about humans. Despite more than a few years of involvement with the Galactic Assembly, primary resources on humans and their cultural customs were few and far between. That meant, in short, that the field was open to whoever was willing to take advantage of it. This generation would have an entirely new species open to them, they were to become the primary experts on these strange creatures, the newest diplomats, and some of the greatest historians. Of course, as peace talks with the Drev continued, there would be discussion about them in the future, but with even less information the future was less than certain.

The reading had been more than interesting, but the person who wrote it was clearly not a social scientist or a historian. He was simply a bystander, and most of his observations held clear bias, misunderstanding, and great amounts of confusion. He was a surgeon after all, and not a social scientist. He was also a Vrul, and they weren’t known for their great ability to understand others and their motivation.

Trauma Surgeon Krill of the Vrul had been a member aboard a human ship for more than a year at this point, and his papers were making waves in the scientific community. There was no group of scientists, no discipline that wasn’t interested in what he had to say, even if the information was inaccurate.

Furthermore, the Captain aboard his ship represented the primary source of what they understood about humans. His biological map was the standard for textbooks, academia, diagrams and medical biology. Most of the images they had for their medical information came from that same human, though Krill had included some more images in with his primary sources, and these included estimations on possible human color pallets which was honestly more fascinating than it should have been.

The professor waved to quiet them one more time before continuing, “I know, I know, you are all very excited about today’s speaker, but I must ask you to remain calm and remember to take your turns when asking questions, we cannot have this devolve into pandemonium.” No one said a word, wishing their teacher would just shut up and introduce their speaker already. The teacher looked around at the faces of his students and then sighed, he knew they weren’t going to be able to pay attention until then so, “Alright, since you all seem so eager, let me go ahead introduce today’s speaker.” The teacher shuffled around at the podium for a moment before beginning, “A galaxy renowned trauma surgeon, Dr Krill of the Vrul has spent the most documented tie with a human crew in the known galaxy immersing himself completely in their culture and their habits without returning to his own species for more than a few days at a time. At this current moment, he is the galaxy’s leading researcher on humans, and the author of your packets, if you did not make the connection, so please, help me give a warm welcome to Dr. Krill.”

The room burst into an amalgamation of applause, or the alien equivalent, as a small, many legged form scuttled up to the podium. At the front of the auditorium, a few students couldn’t help but notice the way that the Dr. Moved, in quick short bursts dispersed through long luxurious and stalking movements, unusual for his particular body type. The Vrul didn’t behave like that.

He stopped at the podium two front appendages resting against the lectern with a thoughtful expression, “I am very flattered to have been brought here today to speak with you, but I am afraid my opinions and knowledge will tend to be rather biased in this area of research. You see, when I joined the human crew I had no intention of being this important to the scientific community, and much of the reports that I have written stem from my own understanding and baser knowledge. I think it is important for you all to understand that I do not have all the answers, and am a Surgeon and not a social scientist. Take whatever I say with a grain of salt as is only logical.”

He shifted his body weight from one set of feet to the other, “The first think you must be aware of…. They spend about 10% of their time doing dumb shit, and then they spend the other 90% of their time doing even dumber shit.” He held up a hand to the crowd, “yeah, I know, sounds biased right, but you must hear me out. I have this evolutionary theory, that humans are crazy and have no sense of self preservation, so they evolved to be as indestructible as they are because that was the only way nature could keep their dumbasses alive. I saw this with all the affection in my soul of course, I…. have grown rather fond of the humans.” He stepped away from the podium and began walking up and down the front of the room.

“Humans aren’t known to be good at any one thing. Your species, whatever it may be, has at least one advantage over humans, yet I can tell you that humans will find a way to be better somehow, by cheating. Take for instance, my own species. The Vrul are known for their absolute and completely infallible logic. Well, humans don’t need logic, they defy it with absolutely everything they do. And when logic says that only logic will lead to the correct answer, you end up at that answer only to find a human has already reached it through some completely incomprehensible roundabout thinking. They build the most amazing technology simply because they have no comprehension of what is and is not possible. Everyone in the galaxy knows that  Rundi cannot be outrun, and at short distances, this is even true for a human, but at long distances they can not only outrun a Rundi, but they can probably, set up tea and biscuits for him at the finish line and iron most of his laundry while he is waiting. Humans have no sense of when something is enough, they don’t understand when to stop. For instance the Rundi never developed a way to move faster, why would they need to? Well, the humans don’t get this, they are always trying to go faster and for longer distances at a time, using the least amount of work possible.  I am going to tell you something you aren’t going to like…...”

The class leaned forward in their curiosity, “You are never going to understand the humans. No matter what you do, you will think you know, and then something will happen and you will realize everything you thought you knew was a lie. So I have decided, that I cannot finish this lecture.” There was an immediate murmur around the room as the students protested angrily to his words. They had been looking forward to this. Instead, the Vrul held up a hand to stop them, in such a decisive manner that they were still into thir seats, “I think you will appreciate what I have for you much better. I brought with me a real expert on human culture.”

That must have been a cue as there was a sudden shuffling of footsteps, and the entire room turned to see…. A human, walking down the isle of the room. They all gasped and shifted in their seats in excitement, they knew this human, they knew this human. He paused at the front of the class next to Dr. Krill and leaned himself again the lectern nonchalantly his predatory eyes sweeping across the room in small jerking movements…. The human eye did not move particularly smoothly.

“So, what do you want to know?” The room shifted uncomfortably wondering if the human had heard what the doctor had said about him earlier.

“He’s overreacting you know, Humans don’t do stupid stuff just out of nowhere, well, not generally…. Not all the time anyway…. I mean sometimes we do, but usually we’re drunk, or well… sometimes we aren’t…. … you know what, never mind He’s right, we do a lot of stupid shit, but I think he’s mostly been biased by me. There are plenty of humans that don’t do stupid stuff. I do, all the time, not going to deny that. Questions?”

The room was quiet for a moment and then a student raised a hand, “How do humans greet each other?”

“Oh, that’s easy, you say hi…. Or hello I suppose.” The human tapped his chin, “Well you know, it honestly depends. You can hug someone, or wave at them, or salute, or tip your hat (that one is sort of weird though, or you can high five or fist bump or tackle them or pat them on the back, or a variation or a secret handshake, oh yeah or a regular handshake…. Or there are other greetings, most of them we don’t use, but you can use them and people will understand Yo what’s up, and its variations. I suppose you can also just nod to them though it depends on who they are you use an upward nod if you respect them or a lower nod if you are a little unsure…..” He paused looking around the room at the slack faces and wide eyes, “Um, you know what, disregard that. Say Hello, and offer a hand for a handshake, that will do for pretty much any human.”

There was another moment of quiet before another one of the students raised their hand, “How does one avoid upsetting a human, or insulting them I guess.”

The human sat back against the lectern and frowned, “Um, well that is a massive ass can of worms isn’t it. Well first things first, don’t openly insult or call them names, unless you are friends with them, and then the more vicious the names you call them the better, don’t insult family members, generally most humans are more upset with you insulting people they like. Don’t insult things they like, I suppose unless you are teasing and you have developed a report and they trust you enough to know that you aren’t being a jerk. Um, here don’t talk about income, religion, race, sexuality, political beliefs, money, raising children, the UNSC, the economy. In certain places you need to make sure your shoes are off before you enter a house, don’t point your feet at anyone, and don’t give anyone a rude gesture, so no middle fingers, and sometimes a thumbs up isn’t a good idea.” Again the entire room had gone slack jawed, those who had been taking notes had stopped taking notes, “The captain sighed, why are your questions so damn hard…. Um ok, hard and fast rule is not to talk about religion, politics, or money, don’t openly insult someone to their face, and don’t insult their family. Otherwise you just need to gage a person based on how they are personally, if they are a decent person they will forgive you the first time around because you didn’t know. If they get offended even though you couldn’t have known then they are trash and avoid them."

To the side of the room Dr. Krill had his arms crossed, and a surprisingly human expression crossing his face. No one in the room would have known, but it was likely the expression of someone very, very smug. Now he wasn’t the only one who had to deal with the absolute stupidity of humans and their annoyingness.

The room shifted, hands came up and then went back down, Captain Vir watched in rather sheepish amusement as the students struggled trying to find the easiest question they could think of, and then finally there was a hand.

“How do you know if a human likes you?”

The captain tapped his fingers on his arms, “Hmm, I suppose you won’t.” The class stared on, “I mean sometimes you will and sometimes you won’t. Humans pretend to like each other all the time and then talk behind each other’s backs. I suppose if someone saves your life that’s a good bet that they like you, but then again that may not be true, some people are really moral and will save people they dislike. Perhaps if the human comes to hang out with you, but also if you are in a group they may not like you and they just tolerate you being there for the other people. Some people are better at faking than others. If you are talking to a human and they give you very short curt answers and they don’t make eye contact or stop what they are doing, than maybe they don’t like you, but if they seek YOU out to hang out and seem to do it often, than they probably like you. Oh, you know what, a good indicator is if the human tells you something secret or personal about themselves, they wouldn’t do that for someone they distrust or dislike. Although, don’t feel bad if someone you think you like doesn’t do this, some people are just really private, shy and have problems trusting others completely.”…. “Honestly, now that I think about it, this one isn’t such an easy answer either, you sort of have to gage it person to person.

Around the auditorium, the entire room gave a deep sigh and rested back into their chairs, this was going to be a long evening. Honestly, did they REALLY want to go into this field?

Humans were so complicated after all.

[theemightypen]

50. Arranged Marriage, eomer x lothiriel

So because I have -1000000 self control, y’all get a sneak peak of the arranged marriage AU I have planned for sometime in the next 8 years, where Eomer and Lothiriel end up having a political marriage pre-War

Anyways, here ya go, nonny!

–

“My lady! My lady, come quickly!”

Lothiriel blinks in surprise as Layfled all but yanks her towards the doors. It is not like the girl to be so improper, nor hasty, and alarm begins to set in.

“Layfled, what is so urgent?”

“Grima is needling Lord Eomer again! I fear he will not keep his temper this time.”

That is cause for fear, for there is no one in Edoras that Wormtongue dislikes so thoroughly as Eomer. Whether it is because of his renown as a warrior, his position as heir-presumptive to the throne, or the fact that there is no one in Middle Earth that Eomer dislikes so much as Wormtongue, Lothiriel cannot say, but he should no better than to tangle with the King’s slippery advisor. Grima has been amassing more and more power in recent months and there’s no telling what he plans to do with it, besides ill.

So Lothiriel hurries, heart in her throat, towards the main hall of Meduseld.

The sight that greets her is a terrifying one: her husband, with his arm at Wormtongue’s throat, hissing something so angry and so cruel that she nearly flinches, even though there is no denying that the sentiment was likely justly earned.

“Too long have you watched my sister,” she hears him hiss, “too long have you haunted her steps.” 

“Eomer–” She starts to say, so afraid for him that she can barely speak, but it is too late. Some of Grima’s men are already gripping his shoulders, pulling him off the slighter man.

“You see much, Eomer, son of Eomund,” the snake is saying, his tone filled with a hateful sort of glee. “Too much.”

Lothiriel gasps as one of the men punches Eomer in the stomach. “Stop! Stop this at once!”

They all turn to her, even Grima, and she forces herself not to flinch under his beady stare.

“Lothiriel,” Eomer starts, “go, do not concern yourself–”

“Do not–! You are my husband and my utmost concern,” she interrupts.

“Touching,” Grima drawls. “And good timing, my lady, for you will not have to hear of your husband’s punishment from any false source.” 

“Punishment? For what?”

“For warmongering, to start. For failing to serve his King in the way he requires–”

Eomer snarls. “It is not I who is failing him, wyrm–”

“No one can question his loyalty! He is Rohan’s greatest protector–”

“You are young,” Grima interrupts, “and biased, I’m afraid. Too long has your husband been given a pass on his more…questionable activities due to his cousin’s influence. But now, with Prince Theodred gone, our King’s eyes have been opened to what he truly is.”

Lothiriel’s hands tremble with the effort of not slapping him. “You dare. This is overreaching, Grima, even for one such as you.”

“Oh, I have only begun. I am glad you are here, my lady. It will spare me the trouble of having to inform you of your husband’s banishment at a later time.”

The air is all but forced from her lungs. Banishment!

“You have no authority here!” Eomer cries, struggling against the men who hold him. “Your orders mean nothing!”

“Oh, but this order does not come from me,” says Grima. He pulls out a roll of vellum and unrolls it with a gleeful flourish. “It comes from the King. He signed it this morning.”

“Theoden King would never,” Lothiriel says hotly, but the signature is there, stark against the paper, and she feels sick.

The men begin to drag Eomer away, looking far too happy to be doing so, and she darts forward. 

“No! This is not right! How can you justify this?”

“My lady,” Gamling is there, gently gripping her arm, “you cannot question the King’s will.”

“You call this Theoden’s will? Banishing his sister-son, his heir, his greatest captain? It is Grima’s will, not his!”

“My lady,” says Grima, smiling in that horrible way of his, “I assure you I am more than happy to send you with your husband, if that is what you desire.”

“No!” Eomer cries, still struggling against his captors and she shakes Gamling off long enough that she can reach for his hand. The men glare at her but her presence–her closeness–is enough to stop Eomer’s angry fighting. She reaches for him but he is dragged out of her reach, just for spite.

“Give us a moment, for pity’s sake!” She cries. “Have you no hearts?”

“Traitors deserve neither moments nor pity,” intones Grima. “Surely you, as a daughter of princes, should understand that.”

“Lothiriel, stay,” Eomer says, agony clear in his voice, “you must stay where you are safe, I could not bear it otherwise–”

How can I feel safe knowing you are not, she thinks, but that will not help now.

“I will stay,” she says, “and Eowyn will be with me–we will help each other, I swear–”

“You presume too much of your sister-in-law, my lady. Eowyn has responsibilities to her lord king, not to the foreign wife of a traitor–”

Eomer hisses again, something fierce and low in Rohirric and earns another swift punch to the stomach for his efforts. Lothiriel cannot help the whimper that tears itself from her throat. She steps up, unheading of Gamling’s murmur for caution behind her–how can she focus on anything else other than her husband, her mighty, brave, strong, good, husband, being so unjustly treated?

She takes Eomer’s face between her hands, ignoring the guards that keep her from embracing him the way she wants to. 

“Stay safe,” Lothiriel says, “you must promise me that you will be safe. That you will come back to me–”

“Lothiriel,” he starts, his dark eyes bright with what must be tears, something she never could have fathomed before now. But she never thought Theoden could have been persuaded to think so poorly of him, never thought that Theodred would truly fall, never thought that Eowyn would turn so brittle–

“I love you,” she manages to choke out, because if she does not say it now, she may never get the chance. “I love you, Eomer, be safe, please–”

She only gets one glimpse of his shocked expression before the guards haul him off in truth. Gamling is at her side faster than she can blink, standing steadfast between her and Grima’s malevolent stare. 

“Come away, my lady,” he says, putting his arm around her shoulders in a way that makes her miss her father so suddenly she nearly weeps, “come away, you should not have to see this–”

“Oh, but she should,” Grima murmurs. “Lest she forget that she is a guest of the House of Eorl. And must act accordingly.”

Lothiriel has thought Grima vile the entirety of the time she’s known him, but the hate that sears in her stomach now is like nothing else she’s ever felt. She will not let him see her hurt, her fear. Not now. Not ever. For Eomer, for Eowyn, she must do that much. She must stand tall and strong against this poisonous creature. 

“I am a member of the House of Eorl, Grima, son of Galmod. And a daughter of the House of Dol Amroth. I may not have the foresight that my cousin possesses but I say this now, without a doubt, that all the evil and pain you inflict on others will be brought back to you ten-fold.” At this, she smiles, in that razorsharp way Ivriniel has always tried to teach her and has remained out of her grasp–until now. Perhaps it can only be brought on by one so loathsome. “And I very much look forward to that day, my lord.” 

Grima still looks too smug and satisfied, but she can see that she’s shaken him, just a little. 

So she turns on her heel, head held high, in search of Eowyn. 

[theowlandthekey]

We Don’t Need Covens: In This Essay I Will...

I'm a big fan of Sarah Anne Lawless. I never got the opportunity to speak with her personally, but for those of you who've been around long enough, you likely know about her blog discussing traditional witchcraft and her shop. I often found her posts to be inspirational, providing a unique clarity on subjects that most books skip over. To this day her belladonna ointment is one of the few things that can make my wife's back spasms stop.

Unfortunately both her blog and her shop have closed up. All I can find are interviews with her. In a very broad sense, Lawless came out about abuse and manipulation within the pagan community. She named names and instead of addressing the problems and having an open discussion about it, she was harassed until she backed off.

It upset me at the time in a very distant sense. As I said I never knew her, but I admired her passion and the certainty with which she practiced her craft. Though it's now long after the fact, I finally think I have the ability to put my thoughts into words.

We don't need covens. We never did.

I've been practicing off and on for about fifteen years or so. I've played around with different methods of witchcraft, wicca, and pagan worship. I've been the member of a druid grove, a loose coven association, and even a few on-line groups that claim to do all their spell casting via chat. In the end, I've found them all to be much the same. They promise a great deal and frankly fall short of everything from education to community.

I'm likely going to upset quite a few people with this statement. That's fine. You shouldn't trust anybody who thinks they can tell you your business. But for what it's worth, take a moment to read this over. If something here strikes you as familiar, it might be time to consider another path.

IQuick Note: I know there is a lot of grey area as to what could be considered a witch. You have pagans, heathens, wiccans and the like. Some are comfortable being called witches while others are not. But the connotation changes depending upon each individuals definition. So let's look at witches as people who, for whatever reason, have decided to intentionally avoid Christianity in favor of practicing a personal path of self-realization and independence involving magic, spells, enchantments and the like.

Cult Mentality

First thing you ought to consider is the potential for manipulation and control that exists in any group. This is especially true whenever matters of religion and faith are concerned. It's a touchy subject, no doubt. People are particular about religious practices. For my part, I maintain that witchcraft isn't a religion or a faith. It's a craft. But that doesn't change the fact that people will use religion as a method for controlling others. Especially others who are hungry to fit in with a group that they feel represents them. For this very reason, I firmly believe that witches should avoid becoming a congregation of any kind. Too many of us think of witchcraft as a religion, and while you can play pretend all you like most of us were raised Christian and still have difficulty shaking off the mimicry of organized religion. Our power is in our independence and our ability to think for ourselves, and it becomes much more difficult to do this when you form yourselves into a coven.

Respect My Authority

On that note, you can't form a group without some kind of a hierarchy making itself apparent. I have a strong distaste for covens who create arbitrary titles. They're largely meaningless. You don't really need a high priestess or an archdruid to go around wearing robes with more trim than everybody else. It's just an excuse for someone to hold themselves higher and make decisions without consulting anyone. You'll often find that people who hold these kinds of titles become very upset when someone disagrees with them and find ways to flex their authority in a 'funny' or 'joking' way. Basically telling others that if you disagree with them then you don't need to be there. This comes off especially hard on people who may be new to the craft and are still seeking approval.

Calling Ourselves Out

As sexual abuse allegations are on the rise, we have a duty to be aware of people within our community who put others in danger. We have heard it said that 'while not all priests are abusers, abusers tend to gravitate towards positions of authority'. This is no less true just because those leaders are witches and not priests. You don't get a Free Pass. Covens and groves all seem to want that central authority figure to which they can turn to. We tend to protect them because these people act as a spokesperson for us as a whole. But this does not mean they should be protected if they behave reprehensibly! They are not above the law and if we really want to present ourselves as being different from Christians, we should take a stance of pushing out people who are abusers and manipulators.

But here's the thing. We seem to have this self-righteous indignation that comes with being witches and pagans. Any questioning or perceived threats, especially ones that come from outside the community, are deemed as being biased because of Christian society. While this isn't entirely untrue, it also has a problematic effect on us wearing a permanent set of rose-tinted glasses whenever we look at the pagan community and it's 'stars'. Instead of seeing them as human beings with flaws, we view them as celebrities. We avoid using critical thinking skills when someone in the community comes up against criticism and it can end up damaging our reputation as a whole.

Witch n’ Bitch

While this is one of the most obvious issues with modern witchcraft groups, it is far from the bottom of the cauldron. While many groups come together promising to provide resources for education, help learning rituals and practices, and open discussions, I find that very few of them ever deliver on these promises. I've joined more than a few witchcraft 'study groups' only to have them disband after a few sessions for one reason or another. Others have sessions which quickly get derailed from methods and history into a bitching session about over covens, daily drama, or the like. Instead of helping interested parties by providing resources and discussion, it basically becomes a witches tea party. Brooms are snatched.

Exclusion By Design

Something else I want to bring up is the exclusion by design if not by intention concept that plagues covens. I have seen this manifest in more ways then I can count. Most typically it crops up in the form of “you're not experienced enough in our particular tradition”. However, I've noticed a lot of problems with most pagan groups being painfully white. The excuse is that this makes sense because most witchcraft traditions are European. However, that doesn't seem to stop most witches from liberally grabbing whatever non-European cultural paraphernalia they feel fits their witchy aesthetic. The most notable victims being the American Indians, the Voodoo/Santeria practitioners, and Mexican folk beliefs. I've been told by several people that this isn't on purpose. It's just how it ended up. But when you have to triple check everybody on a Norse Heathen group chat to be sure none of them have any racist ideology there is an inherent problem with the community which is long overdue for exposure.

Queer Craft

I’d like to bring up the patriarchal and hetero-normative slant that is heavily enforced in modern witchcraft and neopaganism. I want to preface this by saying that when I think of a witch, I think of a woman who lives apart from societal norms. She is autonomous. She is self-aware. She is unruffled by others perceptions of her. This is what makes her a force to be reckoned with. Yet much of wicca and neopaganism strives to enforce a very heteronormative perception of a woman's role in society by establishing the narrative of the Maiden/Mother/Crone archetype. While there is beauty in each of these phases of life and there is nothing wrong with a woman finding power in them for herself, enforcing them as a role model for what a woman should be has dangerous implications. A woman must be a virgin, reproductive, or too old to bother with. And it should come as no surprise that concepts have no real male counterpart.

This becomes an even bigger problem as we look forward to a more inclusive world where we are learning to recognize a larger spectrum of gender and sexuality. Where does the Queer witch fit in with these very narrow perceptions of the divine within the self? The pagan community loves to talk about itself as an accepting and open community that embraces all sexualities openly. But that isn't very well reflected in its liturgy and conception. I don't think this gets discussed much because people have heralded the God/Goddess, Horned God/Earth Goddess format for so long that we take it for granted despite these perceptions being relatively modern ones. While there are some traditions which put emphasis on the Queer spectrum and embracing it as a source of power and self-realization, they are few and far between.

Psudo Ethics

The final thing I want to bring up is the irritating moral high-ground that people in the pagan community are so willing to put forth any time we are questioned about our beliefs. It is just as irritating if not more so than listening to Christians proselytize. The Wiccan Rede has held a position for a long time as a general set of standards for what witches and wiccans should consider before acting or casting spells. However, I'm pleasantly surprised to see more of a discussion happening on morality in witchcraft. We don't exist to turn the other cheek. While I'm not a believer in the 'strike first' policy, I am a believer in defending myself when attacked.

I see a lot of judgment happening in the wiccan community, especially now that witchery is in the forefront of social media. People poking their noses into how others practice and deciding to take it upon themselves to 'correct' how another practitioner does their work. I understand why some people want to pursue a more positive and affirming lifestyle through wiccan practices. There is nothing wrong with that. But I confess myself irritated when I'm chided by other witches for casting a curse or have a discussion with a demon. My prerogatives are not your moral imperative, nor are any other witches. So long as my actions are not directed against you, it isn't any of your business what I get up to.

In Conclusion

Ironically, one of the biggest issue with discussing if not resolving many of these issues is that we, as witches/pagans and the like, are NOT a unified group. We are a loose collective. We don't have one central figure who decides doctrine. We don't have any of those things that make for dogma. The fact that we can choose to act independently of one another is a big part of our power. It emboldens us to think for ourselves, question tradition, and seek out new methods and practices which are better suited to our needs. Witchcraft does not begin and end with the anathema and the chalice. We can choose to both acknowledge the gods without permitting them too much influence over our lives. We can dance naked under the full moon while enticing a demon or just make a hot cup of tea while we listen to the rain and meditate. All of this is within our grasp.

But before we can practice together, we have to learn how to function together. And right now I don't' see a great deal of that happening. I believe that by learning how to be ourselves first, by practicing as solitary and independent witches before seeing out a group, we can be more confident overall. After fifteen years of practicing, I can tell you truthfully that I haven't learned anything in a group that I couldn't have learned by studying and practicing on my own. Mostly because 90% of the groups out there read the same damned books I do and are more into repetitive ritual than anything else. I would have loved to work with someone like Sarah Anne Lawless, even just to attend a few workshops led by her. Until we can learn to be better individuals as witches first, I don't know if our community can be better together.

[everlarkficexchange]

Unmasked ~ Four

Written by: ~ M ~

Prompt #88

Rating: E (Explicit) This fic will contain consensual sexual content; mild language; discussions of injuries, illness, and amputations in a historical setting; references to non consensual sexual situations.

My thanks to the moderators of @everlarkficexchange for always running an entertaining event, and for playing along with a little fun and mystery. Please enjoy the fourth chapter of this adventure. Previous installments can be found here. Regards,

~ M ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ Chapter 4 ~~

“This is perfect, darling,” Effie whispers as she toys with my hair for a moment before placing my hat on my head, like I am some sort of child. “Word will get back to Sir Robert that you were riding in the park with Mr. Cato Baxter and then he’ll be hooked for sure! Perhaps he will even be in the park and see you! It is the first fine day in some time, and gentlemen need a little competition.”

“I’ve only just met Sir Robert. Why would he care?” I protest as she moves to stand behind me to inspect the bustle on my riding habit.

“Pish! Already he is asking for dances and sending flowers. Trust me, my dear. He will care, and you do not want to let this one go.”

“I don’t know him at all!” I yelp as she jabs a hair pin into my scalp.

“What’s to know? He’s wealthy, handsome, charming, has no scandal to his name. He’s perfect for you! The rest will follow.”

“Perhaps,” I say and stand still while she buttons my jacket. I despise being treated like a child, but as Effie lifts tear filled eyes to me, I swallow my pride and allow her to mother me. Besides, my own mother is not here to get all teary over a ride in the park with a gentleman or the possibility of a real suitor.

“Are we ready?” Madge asks, sweeping past me towards the door to the room we have been sharing.

“Ready,” I confirm and take up gloves just as we hear the butler answer the door downstairs.

“Miss Everdeen,” Cato takes my hand and bows over it with a smile that wavers as Madge joins us, tugging her gloves onto her hands. “Countess. I did not realize we would have company, Miss Everdeen.”

The strange sparks in his eyes set me on edge. Why would Madge’s presence anger him? My skin begins to crawl and I already regret my brash acceptance of his invitation, even if it does help to secure a marriage with Sir Robert.

“The Countess is my chaperone today,” I remind him.

“Indeed. Shall we?” He turns and strides outside, leaving Madge and I to follow. Already, I feel my face pulling into a scowl.

“How solicitous of him,” Madge mutters under her breath. I snort and walk into the sunshine. I ascend the mounting stone and then yelp as rough hands assault me. Sagittaria balks, sidestepping as I cling to the reigns, struggling to reseat myself.

“Your horse seems a bit skittish, Miss Everdeen,” Cato sneers.

“She is not. You startled me in helping where you were not needed and that startled her.”

“That is what skittish means,” he says and grabs hold of her bridle. This only upsets Sagitarria more.

“Sir! Unhand my horse,” I snarl and he does so. I soothe her, stroking her neck and cooing until she settles with a snort and toss of her head. I quite agree with her but do not know how to extricate myself from this outing without being rude. Effie is still upset with me over my last run in with Mr. Marvel, insisting that I am acting more like a bitter spinster than a young woman who wishes to get married at all.

“I was simply assisting you mount your horse,” Mr. Baxter explains with a creased brow.

“No harm done,” I say through my teeth. I am attempting to smile but am sure it fails when I catch sight of Madge, hiding her laughter and safely mounted on Diablo. He is the most ornery horse in my family’s stable and yet somehow turns into a docile lamb around my friend. She has tamed the beast, and quite marvelously so.  

“This way ladies,” Cato declares and I roll my eyes, earning a choked sound of held back laughter from Madge.

“A true prince. Catch me if I swoon,” I mutter under my breath and this time Madge really does laugh. I think I even hear one of Effie’s footmen holding back laughter, and glance back to see his head bent and his shoulders shaking. Good to know my misfortunes in courtship provide such amusement. To the park we go!

“I am sorry, Katniss. I should not laugh,” Madge whispers as we move through the city towards the park. “But–”

“But he is a ridiculous, pompous ass?” Madge gasps and I lift a shoulder with indifference. “I think he might fit better on a farm.”

“Let us hope it only takes one outing to incite some manly jealousy in Sir Robert.”

“Why must we incite jealousy at all?” I grouse.

At first, it seems that riding in the park was the perfect idea. It is the largest expanse of green in the entire city. I breathe deep of the woodsy scent, the trees banishing the noxious fumes of the city and providing a breath of fresh air. They line the wide avenues and while there are any number of people out in the park today, the space is so wide that it hardly feels crowded. It is the most at home I have felt since arriving here. I relax and attempt to enjoy myself, giving Sagittaria some slack in the reins. She longs to gallop over the hills. I can feel it in the reins and the way she tenses beneath me, ready to spring.

Unfortunately, my enjoyment is short lived. Mr. Baxter’s horse is as pompous and overbearing as it’s rider. The beast continuously nips at Sagitarria’s haunches until my poor girl justifiably kicks out at the brute in defense.

“Your horse kicked mine!” Mr. Baxter complains.

“Your horse thinks Sagitarria is lunch,” I return, guiding Sagittaria as far away as possible. “The horse named Diablo is better behaved than your monster!”

“Is there a problem?” a vaguely familiar voice asks and I turn in the saddle to tell whatever misguided gentleman this is to mind his own affairs when I stop with my mouth hanging open and my eyes widen.

“You!” I shout. How is it that he always seems to appear when I am having horse related difficulties?

“Miss Everdeen,” Peeta says, inclining his head in my direction. His great big grey steady and unmoving. Sagitarria shifts, closer to Peeta and his mount, away from Cato. “I am glad to see you are able to keep out of the mud and your horse upright today.”

My cheeks burn in humiliation and Cato huffs. “You know this bastard?”

“No,” I say.

“We’ve met,” Peeta speaks for us both and tilts his head slightly at my lie before reaching down, his palm open for Sagittaria to nuzzle in a familiar manner. Peeta smiles at her and clicks his tongue. She huffs affectionately into his gloved palm, traitor that she is.

“Oh good! I see you’ve found her!” Sir Robert rides up then, his horse almost skidding to a halt as he pulls a touch too forcefully on the reigns. “Miss Everdeen! It is a matter of urgency. Your Aunt has asked us to escort you home, immediately.”

My heart leaps for a moment, immediately thinking of my father.

“Thank you Mr. Baxter, your services are no longer needed. Ladies,” Sir Robert circles us once and then begins to ride off. Madge goes with him, glancing back over her shoulder at me with concern in her eyes. What a grand chaperone she turned out to be, trading one bastard for another.

I don’t even see the command Peeta gives his horse, but the brute turns and follows, and without my input, Sagittaria goes as well, pulling even with Peeta’s horse as Cato sputters and protests behind us that we had just started our ride and that he is perfectly capable of seeing us home.

“I apologize for our ruse,” Peeta whispers. “We feared your horse was near to revolting.”

“She would not with me riding.”

“Not even with Cato’s nag biting at her?”

I purse my lips and stare at Sir Robert’s back as he converses with Madge. He turns in his seat once to look back at us and smiles, then winks at me. My heart does that strange fluttering thing again and I wonder at how two brothers who share such uncanny similarities in features can have such vastly different personalities. Sir Robert is charming and solicitous whereas Peeta seems rude and abrupt.

“I should not be speaking to you, sir. We have not been properly introduced.”

“Perhaps not in a way that most would approve of, but sometimes necessity demands forgetting etiquette, don’t you think?”

“You did not tell me who you were.” And you caressed my ankles.

“I was more concerned with your well being.”

“Clearly demonstrated in the way you tossed me about like chattel.”

“Would you rather I loitered in the pouring rain? I told you I had urgent business–”

“So urgent that you couldn’t be bothered to dismount and assist.”

“–and yet I did not shove you on your potentially injured horse and send you on your way. I made sure you were taken care of.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Even the most self-sufficient person requires assistance now and then. How is your father?” I whip my head to the side to stare at him and he stares back. Unwavering. “You forget I stopped at the inn in your town. Always a good source of local news.” His voice is soft in his explanation and stirs feelings I would rather forget. I can almost feel the icy rain trickling down my spine and the warmth of his fingers on my ankle.

“He is unchanged in health.”

“I am sorry to hear that. And the boots? I realize they are small consolation, but I must know. How are they?” He drops his gaze to my feet and I shift my legs. There’s no hiding that I wear a pair of fairly new riding boots. His smile at the sight of them irks me.

“Quite comfortable. Thank you,” I manage to say and he nods, as though satisfied.

“Delly always was quite skilled.” I think of the familiar way she spoke of him and feel my spine stiffen. Sagittaria’s gait shifts to accommodate my awkward posture and she huffs in protest, dancing two steps closer to Peeta’s horse so that our legs collide. His giant horse does not even budge, but plods along undisturbed.

“Humpf. One is always biased towards one’s sweetheart.”

“Delly is an old friend. Not a sweetheart.”

“You are quite easy with her name and she with yours.”

“Does that scandalise you, Miss Everdeen? I’ve known her since birth and she is practically a sister to me. I thought you much more robust in your sensibilities. A young woman who galivants unaccompanied over her family’s land – in breeches no less until the age of fifteen– hunts, sees to any number of business and farming affairs, attends to the births of new foals, whose mother and sister are both skilled healers? Surely you are not put off by a few uses of given names.”

“I am put off by gentlemen who do not reveal their true nature and seem to know far more about me than I do them.”

“I shall attempt to close my ears next time I visit your quaint town. Lest I hear anything about you.”

I ignore his sarcasm and return to something that still bothers me. “You failed to tell me who you were.”

“You already said that.”

“No last name, no direction.”

“Did I behave in a manner that would require you to need those?”

“You are a bastard and the title fits,” I hiss, aggravated with the direction of this conversation. He blinks once and then tilts his head, as though examining me like a puzzle to be solved. I squirm in the saddle at his steady gaze.

“And you, madame? Are you not a fortune hunter? I had no choice in the manner of my birth but you have a choice in your manner of matrimony.”

“That is not your concern and hardly proper–”

“Are you pursuing my brother for his fortune alone?”

“No!” I whisper, although the lie burns on my tongue. “He is many things beyond his fortune.”

“I am aware of that, but are you? Robert falls in love far too easily and has had his heart broken countless times.”

“An odd defense tactic, Mr. Mellark. I’ve never much heard of gentleman having their hopes shattered. Do you not simply move on to the next prospect?”

“I suppose you believe that to be a realm only allowed to ladies? Broken hearts? Then how do you explain yourself, your breeches, and your rumored to be perfect aim? You move about parts of the world usually reserved for men, and if the gossips of your home are to be believed, you do so with far more grace and skill than most men.” I scowl at him and he smiles. It’s disturbing, this new expression. It flirts and teases, scandalises and taunts. He looks more like his brother in that moment and the thought is so bothersome that I shove it aside, turning from him and instead staring unseeing at the trees as we ride beneath their wide, gorgeous green bowers. Beside me, Peeta sighs deeply.

“Ah. My apologies again, Miss Everdeen. I cannot seem to control my mouth around you. And to answer your concern, I am not in the habit of providing proof of parentage when I pluck strange women from the mud. I fear it might send them all into a fit to admit that my blood parents were never married. At the very least, I would then have to endure a dozen prayers for my soul.”

I feel laughter forming in my chest at the idea of him sitting astride his great, unmovable grey, eyes lifted skyward in exasperation while a prayer circle surrounds him. Old ladies clutching and waving their bibles about. The amusement I feel annoys me.

“Perhaps you should start if you are going to make a habit of plucking strange women from the mud. We are made of stronger stuff than you give us credit for.”

“So far, you are my only rescue of that sort.” I huff in disbelief or aggravation and Sagitarria dances again into the side of Peeta’s horse. Once again, the beast is unmoved, continuing in his path like an equine stone wall.

“Does your horse feel anything?” I ask testily.

“Cicero cannot hear. That necessitated training him to be unresponsive to everything but my touch. An advantage on a battlefield, but perhaps not so in the park with skittish mares.”

“Sagittaria is not skittish and I am getting tired of brutes such yourself and Mr. Baxter suggesting otherwise.” Peeta’s eyes narrow at me, his eyes flashing in true anger this time. I wonder if it is at being lumped together with Mr. Baxter. I have insulted him repeatedly and yet just as he confessed, I cannot seem to stop.

“I was not speaking of your horse,” he whispers. I gasp at that, but before I can dig up a retort, Sir Robert is there.

“Another lap about the park? The enchanting Mr. Baxter has left and so I believe we may continue unbothered.”

“Yes. That would be lovely, Sir Robert,” I turn to him with a relieved smile, ignoring Peeta and maneuvering Sagittaria so that Madge will have to deal with the bastard this time. I throw her an apologetic look and settle in next to Sir Robert. “It is such a lovely day, I hate to return indoors so soon.”

“You live mainly in the country, yes?” Sir Robert asks and I nod. “I fear I would be ghastly bored if I could not live in the city.”

Behind me, Madge laughs, the sound clear and beautiful and full. The first genuine laugh not brought about by me that I have heard from her since we left Everdeen. I turn to stare at her, my cheeks heating as I catch Peeta’s eyes. He smirks at me and my mind churns with awful thoughts of violence that I quickly suppress. I feel feverish and furious, unable to explain my reaction to this man. Especially when one with much more polished manners and much more desirable credentials as a future husband is also present.

I turn my full attention to Sir Robert then. After all, he is the one courting me. Not Peeta.

To be continued…

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 207: Close Encounters of the 4th Set

Previously on BnHA: Honenuki, Tetsutetsu, Todoroki and Iida were all put out of commission in one fell swoop. Seeing as Sen and Ojiro were already captured, this left the fate of teams A and B riding on Shouji and Pony’s respective shoulders. Although Pony succeeded in keeping her fallen teammates out of Shouji’s hands, she wasn’t able to get Shouto over to the Rat Principal Jail before time ran out. As a result the battle ended in a draw, which means that the classes are still tied with one win each. Over in Recovery Girl’s office, Iida and Todoroki took turns blaming themselves, but in the end the two of them renewed their determination to become heroes who put everyone at ease and rush to the rescue of anyone who needs it. Also they’re now best friends with Honenuki. Meanwhile back at Ground Gamma, the fourth set is finally about to begin, Tokage from class B is looking to kick some ass, and my son Kacchan is eager to start showing off for his excited green boyfriend. I am hyped.

Today on BnHA: Team BakuJirouSeroSatou takes on Team TokaBondoAwaKama as round 4 begins. We briefly check in with the audience, where Vlad King is being loudly biased toward 1-B and All Might is being quietly biased toward 1-A. We then cut to Team A who are obediently following Bakugou’s lead despite some obligatory grumbling on their behalf. Bakugou wants to go straight in for the kill, and the strategy is for him to take point while the others hold the rear and Jirou keeps her earjacks peeled for trouble. Trouble does indeed find them before long, as Tokage attacks with her self-amputation quirk, which allows her to split her body up into small pieces that can float around independently to do recon and harass people and so forth. Anyway, so while she’s out there pestering Bakugou, Bondo shows up and uses his “can spit out glue everywhere” quirk to trap the others. Bakugou blasts them free with an explosion, but it leaves them exposed, and Kamakiri from B Team leaps in to attack Jirou with his “can make swords from any part of his body” quirk. Or at least he tries. But before he can actually hit Jirou, Bakugou jumps in to save her. Because didn’t you know? The best heroes are the ones who both win and rescue, and we love character development here in BnHA.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 223, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

wow, Colander Man

and Bakugou is what. chopped liver? not to mention poor Satou. you do know he’s another physical powerhouse right?

ah, Awase is jumping in now to defend their honor

I knew I liked you for a reason Awase. aside from you saving Momo and Bakugou’s lives

oh hey, it’s this guy!

I’ve been wanting to know more about him for ages! it looks like he shares a personality with Bakugou, which means I instantly love him. that says a lot of things about me, doesn’t it. whatever guys, it’s a manga!

hey what the hell is Tokage’s deal anyway though

like, what is this little scale thing that she seems to be floating. goddammit. I’m so curious about her and I already love her and it’s confusing

oh hey, interesting

this is the first time we’ve seen a map of the field. I wonder if that means it’s gonna be important to this match. imagine if one of the class A teams actually tried a strategy!

...okay that’s mean, and not quite fair to the first group (even if they did get in on the strategizing game pretty late), and then to Momo specifically and only Momo. but everyone else kind of just flailed around. I’m starting to think they might actually have gotten too used to having to adapt and react to things instead of being more proactive

anyway, Vlad is going on to say that class A’s one and only win was mostly due to Shinsou, and I have to say, he’s not wrong. however, he forgot to say “only win up until now.” key point there, Vlad King

lmao now Kami, Kiri, Aoyama, and Tokoyami (though he’s mostly silent but you can feel his support) are booing him

and Aizawa’s telling them to cut it out lol

what are you, picketing him?

oh Aizawa you’re so sensible as always

you see guys this is what I said. you haven’t really brought your A-game so far. well except for you Kaminari

noooo now he’s all “looks like Vlad’s teaching skills were a cut above my own” and his kids look PHYSICALLY PAINED

how is he such a good teacher, though?? like, this is the most gentle scolding, and he’s even shouldering the blame himself, but he makes it so effective somehow. he knows exactly how to hit them where it hurts without being cruel or hurting their confidence

and just saying, unlike a certain other teacher, he knows how to rein his students in when they start to get petty

Vlad? you out there? hello?

by the way has Monoma’s tie always had that weird black spot pattern on it?? that’s weird

(ETA: yeah I’m clearly not very observant lol)

lol at least class A has one person unabashedly on their side

THAT’S BECAUSE THOSE ARE HIS CHILDREN

plus, look, Midnight. everyone loves class A. they are plucky and determined and a couple of them have broken wings but they are on the mend and ready to rise from those ashes and kick ass and save the world and okay but frankly the idea of anyone not loving them is just absurd. in fact I would argue that class B has been performing so well today precisely because they’re up against class A and they just naturally bring out the best in everyone

but yeah it’s also just because they’re his kids. and mine, as it just so happens! Katsuki where are you though

(ETA: okay but lmao at All Might being all “I love everyone equally” and then not one panel later thinking to himself “GO ON AND FUCK THEM UP, YOUNG BAKUGOU.”)

;____; oh, cool. it’s okay. I’m cool. it’s just All Might thinking to himself about how he’s expecting great things of Katsuki. even though he is not his successor and he has not invested anything into him. meaning I can take this as confirmation that he really has adopted him in spite of that. he didn’t think ‘I’m expecting great things of you, young heroes!’ or anything generic. he specifically thought about Bakugou. the kid he’s chosen to be Izuku’s partner. okay guys actually it’s not okay and I’m not cool but I’m gonna shut up and keep reading!!

my boy always here to bring me back to reality. oh how I love you

soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo slow! SLOWPOKES! !!!

lmao teamwork

in all honesty watching Bakugou’s leadership in action is always fascinating to me. because it works in defiance of all expectations. everyone’s always complaining about what an asshole he is, but they can also see that he pushes himself just as hard as anyone else. he’s tough, but he’s also fair. he won’t ask anything of someone that he wouldn’t also ask of himself. and because his classmates understand that, they’re willing to follow him

so here they are all grumbling about his attitude, and yet they’re going along with it all the same

lmao Bakugou you really have set the bar for cooperation quite low. good job on tempering those expectations kid

so now we’re flashing back to their planning session

that’s not much of a plan Katsuki. WHY ARE ALL OF MY SONS SO STUPID. hopefully his improved self-awareness will kick in and he’ll listen if the others make suggestions

(ETA: I’m sorry kiddo, I underestimated you. it was a simple plan, but effective. “go out and kick their asses and watch each other’s backs.” but what really made it work is the fact that he took point and they let him coordinate them. that’s something all of the other A Teams lacked aside from Momo’s team, and she unfortunately got cut off from the others. basically, the lesson to take away here is that good leadership can make all the difference in a situation like this.)

also interesting to see the hierarchy at work here lol. so these guys are “underlings” and “punks”, but meanwhile the enemy are “small fries.” not even deserving of more acknowledgement than that, huh

hmm, I’m not sure who’s right here tbh

I know Bakugou has never been the type to sit and wait, and he thrives on improvisation almost as much as Deku when it comes to strategy. but I do feel like if they had taken the time to make a plan to set up some sort of trap, it could have been really good

on the other hand, their team is powerful enough to make “attack head-on” a valid strategy as well. or so it would seem. but we all saw how that worked out in the previous match, though. so far pretty much every class A team has underestimated class B, and that’s proven to be a mistake

anyways I guess we’ll see!

and now it looks like he’s spotted someone up ahead, and he’s calling for the others to hold up

lol

yeah he knows you have a name, it’s Ears!

(ETA: and in fairness, the Japanese word for “ears” is “mimi” and I think it’s an adorable nickname tbh. I will be sad if he ever stops calling her this.)

at least he’s making effective use of her quirk though. maybe he does have a strategy

oh hell yesssssss look at Jirou being a total badass

the amount of mental processing that must be in play here with her having to identify all these sounds and distinguish them from one another and identify their sources and figure out where they are in relation to her is frankly incredible. it almost overwhelms me just thinking about it, so I can’t imagine what it’s like for her. much respect for Jirou, and Shouji too for that matter

but Bakugou is getting impatient and telling her to hurry it up

she’s saying “wait...”

oh shit

lol did you all fuck up somehow

oh damn

nothing to see here, just a floating disembodied mouth chilling out behind Bakugou

how come the others didn’t spot it if it was between him and the rest of them?

dude what the hell

TOKAGE YOUR QUIRK IS FREAKING ME OUT. WHERE ARE YOU. COME OUT HERE AND EXPLAIN THIS TO ME YOUNG LADY

how did the mouth know to dodge him. it’s only a mouth. how can it see or hear or have spatial awareness. why would you send a mouth out to spy on someone, out of all the body parts you could possible send

so apparently Tokage’s quirk is called “self-amputation.” clearly one of those quirks that’s actually much, much better than it sounds lmao

see, the eye makes sense though. I get that she can move her body parts independently, but how does it work when a mouth can somehow see stuff? or is the eye just floating high enough that it can see all the other parts so she knows where to move them?

(ETA: maybe this just works like Mighty Wings and Pony’s quirk and I should just stop questioning it sob.)

and now Bakugou is being pelted by a bunch of disembodied Pieces of Tokage

jury’s still out on whether I find this quirk cool or terrifying, but I will let you know when we come to a decision!

so Katsuki is thinking that they don’t pack much of a punch but they’re annoying because the targets are too small to hit

meanwhile Sero is setting up some sort of tape perimeter which doesn’t look like it would be even remotely effective, but they seem to have confidence in it lol

“there. now class B, you stay on your side of the stage, and we’ll stay on our side”

and now part of Tokage’s head is again shouting, “okay, all done!”

what is all done??

OH SNAP

CLASS B HAS A GLUE MAN?? COLANDER MAN, YOUR QUIRK WAS GLUE?! HOW DO THE CLASS B QUIRKS KEEP GETTING EVEN MORE AWESOME

so now the glue is dripping off of Sero’s tape barricade and they look pretty stuck. shit

Colander man says this was all due to Tokage’s plan

Bondo is such a great name. reminds me of Sero’s. straight up Engrish. I love it. and that is a damn convenient quirk

and here comes the Bakuclone now to enter the fray

isn’t this the same quirk as that lame doped-up mobster guy that Kiri beat in the Basement arc, before we got to the basement part of it? aww. I’m actually a little disappointed here; not that it isn’t a cool quirk, but when you’re competing with guys who can physically manifest onomatopoeia and shoot fucking glue at people and melt anything they touch, that sets the bar pretty high as far as creativity

wow, class A really managed to get themselves into quite the... sticky situation. ahaha. why are you looking at me like that

what even was the tape barrier supposed to do other than get in their way to begin with though

now Satou’s doing something inexplicable

protect them how, by miming that you’re in an invisible box??

oh thank fuck

this is one of the funniest Bakugou panels I’ve ever seen by the way

just. the way he’s still getting the shit beat out of him by Tokage’s flying amputated body parts. the fact that he’s completely facing the opposite way from where he’s aiming for no apparent reason. what are you even doing

having said that, that’s some damn good control. to be able to blast the glue away while not hurting his friends, once again without sparing a fucking glance in their direction, apparently? damn, son

I bet you Jirou could have blasted it apart with her quirk though if he hadn’t stepped in

fuck you, they didn’t need a shelter to begin with. and it’s better than being stuck in place and not being able to fight back at all

anyway so now he’s diving at them, and Tokage is shouting to take out Jirou first!

ooooooooooh

yes please omg!?!?!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

BAKUGOUUUUUUU

holy shit. he practically teleported there. he’s so fucking fast holy shit. class B never actually stood a chance did they??

also, Deku’s face though?? the way his jaw just dropped and he doesn’t even appear to have registered it? thank you manga gods for this glorious bounty oh shit

and now there are two bonus pages of BnHA smash featuring the Bakugou family oh lord what a blessed dayyyy

(ETA: I still gotta go back and do the rest of these which I forgot about from the previous chapters. you can clearly see where my biases lie since these are the only ones I didn’t skip lol.

also, this seems like a good place to put up my Mitsuki Disclaimer, which is that I love her but I understand that not everyone does, but I’d like to steer clear of any discourse about it if it’s all the same to everyone! my more in-depth thoughts about it are here just fyi.)

so first there’s a strip basically establishing the hierarchy in the family

poor Masaru. I like to think he has a spine when it comes to the important things, though. but clearly he’s not very good at laying down the law

and next up is a strip about Katsuki and Mitsuki waging war and tearing the house apart

(ETA: okay but can we all stop for a moment to appreciate that Mitsuki, who has no hero training and whose quirk is “glycerin sweat” which does absolutely nothing other than give her healthy glowing skin, nonetheless smashed a fucking table (??) to bits here with her fucking fist just cuz. new headcanon that Mitsuki was Rosa Diaz in a past life. what kind of woman doesn’t have an axe.)

ngl I like that she’s not intimidated by him. but “poor Masaru” certainly seems to be a running theme here

and lastly we have Katsuki angrily asking why his dad married her, only to instantly regret it as his dad nostalgically begins to reminisce about their romance

the second panel with Katsuki’s “oh shit” attempts to abort once he realizes what he’s done is amazing omg

Masaru: [loudly] “AND THEN WE HAD SEX”

also their cute lil blushes in the third panel are adorable

I appreciate the text saying “treat him kindly” because seriously, Bakudad is a precious cinnamon roll and he deserves love and appreciation

anyways that’s all for today, tune in next time, kids. same Bakutime, same Bakuchannel

[jessica-goldenstars-blog]

[ENGTRANS][Analysis] ‘My two cents on Jessica’s exit from SNSD’

Original Author: 墨武 (Zhihu)

Eng-Trans: RI + Hannah97, Yee and CAI

Source: https://www.zhihu.com/question/25626185/answer/179775847

Please take out with full credits.

‘My two cents on Jessica’s exit from SNSD’

I came to know SNSD in 03/2016 and started being interested in K-Pop. I didn’t know much in the beginning, so I gathered more information as time passed. I’m a law student in university, so I suppose my logic and common sense can be considered acceptable. I compiled my information over a period of time. Why am I bringing this up? Because too many fans are very biased when it comes to this incident. Judging from the replies I got, it seems not many can reply without prejudice. Of course, this is completely normal, you’re too emotionally-invested in a person, and the situation became so complicated. Towards someone whom you’ve loved for so many years, how can you stop loving them just like that? You won’t trust other people’s words that easily too. Many fans can’t achieve it, the ability to be impartial, and to look at this as an onlooker.

I ask that you put away your prejudice for once, and face the truth.

-Revised on June 14-

This is not a zero-sum game; I posted this analysis with no ill intent, but to encourage healthy debate, and also to share my opinions with everyone. Perhaps I was too long-winded; many people didn’t have the patience to finish reading. Some got defensive and began interrogating me in the replies. This kind of people who reply without even finishing the article are unreasonable, let’s not even start on if you respect me; it seems you lack respect even for yourself.  You spent so much time leaving a reply that has been repeated excessively (like a broken record) by others. All you did was parrot other people, you do not have a mind of your own, and such debates are meaningless.

Two points to take note:

1) Not everyone who speaks up for Jessica is her fan, I was assumed as Jessica’s fan for the past few days, but in actual fact I am just a casual fan of SNSD. I’m not young anymore, and started getting into K-Pop late, by the time I know about them, SNSD was already incomplete. I wrote this article because my principle in life makes me want to get to the bottom of everything, and with my cautious observations, I finally posted this.

Since this article is strictly an analysis on motive and reason, I have left out the professional terminology. If you are only convinced by professional terminology, then I am sorry to disappoint. My analysis is just words from an ordinary person.

In my eyes, they (idols) are just like us, just that they are slightly older and survive in a more vicious environment, so they are ordinary people who are (supposedly) more mature. It’s not like they are politicians or moguls of some sort.

2) Not everyone who speaks up for Jessica assumes she is as innocent as a lamb. Some people who didn’t even bother to read the article started barking in the comments “Only Jessica is an innocent lamb, only Jessica can do no wrong, you think the whole world wants to harm her?”. Regardless of whose side you are on, my approach is that nobody is completely innocent. People who take sides are fans. To prevent people from ignoring my analysis, which defeats the purpose of this article, and also people who tries to steer everyone in the wrong direction, okay, I hereby provide a glossary, just scroll to whatever you want to read.

1- Was she forced out or did she leave on her own accord?

2- Why was she forced out? Political reasons vs. She deserved it vs. Member conflict vs. Agency’s motive?

3- 930 Protagonist and antagonist role in this incident, what triggered 930?

4- 930 Onlookers, analysis of Chinese SONES, and common misconceptions.

Lastly, happy 10th anniversary to SNSD, and happy 10th anniversary to Jessica Jung.

Note: I saw a comment saying they are OT8, and will always support all 8, then went on to say SNSD should disband since their future has already been hindered due to this incident, and they feel discouraged. Here is a verse for you (from The Quatrain of Seven Steps):

People burn the beanstalk to boil beans,

The beans in the pot cry out.

We are born of the same root,

Why should we hound each other to death with such impatience?

1- Was she forced out? Vs. She left on her own accord?

Firstly let’s compare the official statements from both sides; any declaratives and statements not from the persons directly concerned cannot be assumed as legitimate material. Timeline of the published official statements as below:

Sep 30, 2014 at 5:00AM, Jessica made her stance on her WEIBO.

Sep 30, 2014 at 1:00PM, SM’s PR department released their official statement.

Oct 01, 2014 at 10:00AM, Jessica released her official statement.

In both Jessica and SM’s official statements, even though they focus on different points, both includes a fact that  coincides across both statements and cannot be ignored, as Jessica stated “without a proper reason, I received a one-sided notification to leave SNSD”, SM’s official statement stated “the agency had no choice but to pull up SNSD’s activities as 8 members earlier than planned”.

Everyone should have heard of ‘Rashomon’ (Rashomon 羅生門 is a 1950 Japanese film that is known for a plot device that involves various characters providing alternative, self-serving and contradictory versions of the same incident.), the same incident, with different people of different standpoints have contradictory ways of saying things, but things like fundamental truths can neither be changed nor erased. We received the message loud and clear on September 30, the agency did serve a notice to Jessica informing her that SNSD will move forward as an 8-member group, this is a fact.

So why is it that the fans in Korea curse with hatred at the mention of Jessica, instead of blaming the agency for breaking the group apart? Why did they not continue to support Jessica in her entertainment career?

That is because someone misled all of us by shifting the blame and the source of the problem for this incident onto the members and Jessica. SM’s official statement stated “this coming Spring, she notified us she will halt her team promotions”. Shortly after, ‘Korea’s #1 Paparazzi’ Dispatch released the infamous ‘insider Q&A’, 2 persons (allegedly close to Jessica) who were unwilling to disclose their identities, were interviewed. They revealed that Jessica is no longer part of the group because she said she intended to leave the group on 2 occasions with plans to get married. Those who are familiar with K-entertainment all know that K-fans detest dating scandals the most, there are many cases where they stopped being a fan and backstabbed the idol in return. Hence, the image of a selfish person who only cares about developing her own career and intends to get married to her boyfriend was formed in Korean citizens’ minds. The extent of the damage caused by this ‘created image’ is severe, 3 years later and Koreans are still leaving comments citing this ‘selfish person who only cares about her own career and intends to get married to her boyfriend’ as an excuse. Did everyone realize something? That’s right, it’s been 3 years, and they still come up with the exact same arguments, because the accusations failed to come true, so the rumors are stuck at where it started. But why do we have people taking 2 different sides, 1 group sees eye to eye with the Koreans, and the other group thinks that she was indeed a victim who got forced out. I’m not sure if the comments represent the majority, but my friends have the same conclusion as me, that Jessica was indeed forced out.

Here are a few reasons, firstly why are there different opinions in 2 countries? Because we (China) don’t have SM, we don’t have the Big-3 agencies that dominate and monopolize the market, we don’t have controversies formed by a powerful agency that refuses to let you off easy even if you dissolved your contract amicably. As I mentioned earlier, if someone like Dispatch, a top paparazzi with high publicity, reports negatively on an idol , will you believe them? Honestly, fans excluded, onlookers will likely go along with what Dispatch reports, this is also why many fans keep clarifying matters in the comment section of such reports. Fans persevered and continued clarifying even if it’s counterproductive, because by doing so, there is still a 1% chance that people may be enlightened and have a clearer grasp of the situation. If you stay silent, you have a 0% chance of turning things around. Which means, it may just be true for those who say “you think a local like me wouldn’t know our country’s celebrities better than you, a foreigner?”, you are right, you really don’t. The Korean society is weird, they condemn a person without even giving them a chance to speak up for themselves, and fans have no platform to explain matters. They only have one-sided information released by a big agency to the media, and with such ways of handling matters, it’s hard for me to not think you are the villain here. This leads to a repeated rumor being taken as truth, and this is dreadful.

Moreover, having the intent to kill but not actually fulfilling the act does not make you guilty legally, but in the vicious entertainment industry, even having such intent equates to the death penalty. So there must be a purpose behind this intent right? Before we discuss about the purpose, I discovered another interesting point, SM stated “This spring, Jessica said she would stop group activities”. Spring could be either March, April, or May. In Dispatch’s famous ‘insider Q&A’, they mentioned that Jessica said she wanted to leave the group twice, once in January, and a 2nd time in July. Here comes my question, so which month was it exactly? Was it Spring, or was it Summer? Or SM’s idea of Spring stretches from January to July? No? So who was lying? Was it SM’s official statement, or was it the ‘insiders’ invited by Dispatch who were lying?

We should all agree on one fact, either a person actually thinking of doing something or a person actually acting out on their thoughts, are driven by a purpose and motivation. Let’s assume that since Jessica had intended to quit the group, or even mentioned about wanting to quit the group, means she must have the desire to do so. How did this desire come about in the first place? Such desires usually entail benefits to oneself, and I believe nobody would desire something that causes harm to themselves. Then was there a dire need for Jessica to quit the group that year? What caused her to have a desire to quit the group that year? I personally think she had even more reason to want to stay in the group that year.

I hereby provide 4 pieces of evidence, the first 2 will focus on Jessica’s personal reasons, the other 2 will focus on external factors. Firstly, Jessica belonged to the bottom half of the group in terms of personal schedules she had since the second half of 2011, even the leader of TaeTiSeo mentioned during their subunit interview that Jessica had  only been “practically living in the photoshoot studio”. You can find the comparison chart for personal schedules of all 9 members in freesouls bar. In comparison, the amount of personal schedules Jessica had in 2014 was more than her past 2 years’ combined. Not forgetting to mention the Jungsis subunit that SM had wanted to promote but was shelved, such important projects couldn’t have been put together within a week or two. So what reason does Jessica have to take such a huge risk now, to discard all the benefits that she was about to reap, to the extent of quitting the group no matter what? Some people say she doesn’t care, she just felt like quitting and so what, she is such a person who doesn’t care about anything. But the audio from their dance practice was leaked proving that they did record a song together, preparation for a season 2 of Jessica & Krystal’s reality show was also reported in the news. Will a person who simply don’t care be so enthusiastic in a project? Will you put in so much effort to practice again and again, only to give up on the actual day of the exam? I am sure you will not be happy at the thought of it, after all everyone loves to measure success based on results.

Secondly, in terms of career development, Jessica launched her brand in August after a series of preparation, she also mentioned in her official statement that she had informed the members beforehand, including all her future plans. Hello people, launching a brand is not a piece of cake, she must have prepared for a long time and her company only just started, and this is just an ‘insurance’ for her idol career. When you are part of a top girl group like SNSD where you can reap the fruits of your labor, she chose fashion as her future ‘insurance’, something she is familiar with and good at. Honestly, this ‘insurance’ is still at its early stages, so was there a need to sever all ties with such a strong backing when nothing has taken shape yet? Realistically speaking, even the most powerful backing does not belong to you in the end. In the real world, you can work with others but never ever rely on them completely. She is not an underaged teen who thinks the world is filled with only good people, she has lived for 25 years and survived in the entertainment industry for 14 years (2014), will she be such an idiot to sever all ties with a powerful backing and have nothing to fall back on, just to go start on a new venture?

Thirdly, in terms of SNSD’s career development, 2014 marks SNSD’s 7th year in the industry and they can be considered an unbeatable girl group, even though I think they are already on their decline, everything that goes up must come down. Anyway their decline is not that obvious and it doesn’t matter even if they are on their way down, since they have found success thanks to the contribution of all 9 members, what they need to do now is to take their share of the pie and have their taste of success. A group that has seen success internationally and reached their peak can only do so much now. Many people say SNSD still has potential but I beg to differ, because you have already reached your peak and so the public no longer anticipates what other surprises you can bring. Their only concern is that this group is at its peak. This is a dead end for many superstars, how much popularity is enough? Where is the peak? When the public no longer look forward to what you can achieve, when they are no longer curious about what you can bring to the table, the so-called popularity will start to wane, and what you are left with is only the nation’s approval. Perhaps you will say that I am contradicting myself but think carefully, are the younger generation and the previous generation supporting the same idols? The people that the previous generation supports has attained the nation’s approval, and the younger generation go for popularity, what matters is “volume”. SNSD’s potential has been gradually declining since 2014, but this works in the members’ favor instead, this means the members can begin distinguishing themselves from the group since the group has already reached its peak. They can have their own identity and not just be SNSD’s so and so. This is what I meant by tasting their share of the pie. It is obvious that SNSD is already going down that route, and we hardly see group performances by SNSD anymore, partly due to commercial and personal reasons. Since they have endured the early days where their articles were filled with malicious comments, where their every move was being monitored and scrutinized, does it sound logical to you for someone to leave the group when it’s time to enjoy the benefits and honor that the ‘brand name (SNSD)’ gives? Put yourself in this situation, you suffered 6 years of cursings, and people finally start to compliment you, then out of a sudden you tell everyone that it’s better if they continue to curse you, you can take it. This is impossible. (What in the world???)

Fourthly, Jessica’s agency SM, SM’s background and history, an agency that blocks even artistes who dissolved their contract amicably. Why is SM so harsh towards their previous artistes? Of course it’s just so they can demonstrate their power. ‘In this entertainment industry, I am God, you want to leave me? Don’t even think about it.’ You must be joking if you think Jessica didn’t anticipate SM’s tyrannical ways. She was a trainee for 7 years and had been in SNSD for 7 years, she clearly knows what happened to members who left H.O.T, Shinhwa, DBSK, and Super Junior. Even a person in any normal situation knows what risk assessment is, and when the risk is obviously greater than the benefit for whatever you want to do, any sane person would either give up the idea, or wait it out. Why is it that most Koreans renew their contract with SM? You have already been warned, ‘if we are not going to be in the same boat, then you can prepare to sink.’ Even if you are not contented, but as long as you still want to survive, you have no choice but to continue with this agency. What can you do? Of course you have to learn to forgive them. Because if you refuse to, they will not let you off. You can’t say that their staff and their management are heartless, you can only blame the agency for being ruthless. In this economically-driven world, to maintain their dominance, they will only continue to be so oppressive. You should have expected this when you chose them in the first place.

With such a powerful backing (or threat), and with her future shining so brightly, the argument of her ‘wanting to leave the group’ is no longer valid. Nobody would want to leave without tasting a bite of the pie they (spent so many years to) bake. Jessica, a member who contributed to SNSD’s success obviously wants to enjoy her share of the pie.

Therefore, saying she left the group on her own accord is completely ridiculous. Of course, such excuses started from the Koreans who were brainwashed by the media. Actually most of the SONES in China agreed that she was indeed forced out. Like they always say “I really don’t understand Golden Stars, your idol was fired and you still have the cheek to keep bringing it up”. It’s true that being forced out is somewhat like getting fired, but they are of different nature. I can’t help but feel bitter whenever people say that, because they are implying that SNSD are just colleagues rather than friends. This is as far as their group spirit goes, and will be evident in their future comebacks.

2- Why was she forced out? Political reasons vs. She deserved it vs. Member conflict vs. Agency’s motive?

Even when everyone agrees that she was forced out, why do people keep bringing this subject up? What I have listed are the more plausible reasons, I chose not to list some of the more ridiculous arguments that are obviously from brainless antis. I advise everyone to just have a good laugh and let it go when you come across those people with such great imagination.

Firstly, some people said that ‘930’ was a deflection for political scandals. I will like to call someone out.

“Politics!”

“What?!”

“There’s a (scape)goat for you, please acknowledge it.”

“Go to hell, I don’t want it.”

Politics: “I don’t want to be the scapegoat, thanks.”

Korea is undoubtedly small, let alone South Korea, it’s nothing out of the ordinary for politics and entertainment to cross paths, but not everything from drunk-driving to drug-abuse to small issues like leaving a group or dating scandals are always used to cover political scandals. Think about it, if you are a Korean, would you care more about the news of an idol (who holds a lowly status in Korean society), or a political scandal? We are talking about a country who has the guts to impeach their president and put her on trial. Everytime I see a fan say “‘Pinocchio’ was used to cover a political scandal”, “You are siding with the wrong party”, I just want to laugh. You think you are the only one who watched ‘Pinocchio’, you think you are the only one who watches the news, you think you are the only one who knows whose side they are on? Even the 5 leading organizations will not dare to take sides easily, let alone entertainment agencies. Whose side did Samsung take? I realized something when I read the ‘Twenty-Four Histories’. The typical scenario of an aristocratic family was that the elder brother would be the proposition, and the younger brother would be the opposition, they would always be at loggerheads. Why did that happen though? That is to prevent a genocide. (Author quoted a scenario of Zhuge Liang from ‘The Three Kingdoms’, research if you want to know more) Using the same logic, a company in our economically-driven society is only interested in a mutually-beneficial business relationship to ensure the company does not collapse.

Can’t you see, the South Korean president has gone through multiple setbacks, but yet the 5 leading organizations are still standing strong?

No doubt the Big-3 entertainment agencies are tools, but if we are talking about taking sides politically, then I’m sorry to tell you they are not that influential. So for those who said the series of incidents that happened to SM in 2014 were actually collateral damage to cover up political scandals, then perhaps you are overthinking this.

Why were there multiple dating scandals from SNSD that were reported that year? First and foremost, they are indeed no longer young and innocent girls, so it’s not surprising that they are in relationships too. On the other hand, media and entertainment agencies  have always had a love-hate relationship, whoever has the most lucrative offer wins. Since they are no longer the young and innocent girls like before, it’s only natural that SM loosens their leash and gives them a little more leeway. Anyway they are already the nation’s girl group, and scandals like these are not going to jeopardize their position. So they no longer see the need to bribe the media in order to stop them from publishing such photos. This is a moneymaking agency who is very realistic and calculative, so they find no need to make such ‘investments’(bribery) anymore.

Since the ‘political reason’ excuse is busted, does that mean Jessica paved the way to her own downfall, and that she deserved it? There is one reason that was stated in SM’s official statement that makes me not know whether to laugh or cry, and it is no wonder Jessica found it unreasonable as well. “No-show for events”, I have seen the information compiled by fans with regards to Jessica’s attendance for all group events, and from the start of 2014 to the month of September; this may sound embarrassing; but their accusation is completely unfounded. Perhaps SM realized they messed up too. We are talking about public events here, and everyone can see for themselves. You can’t make it go away simply by saying it doesn’t exist. Afterall, fans are not blind. So SM came up with a befuddling reason in an attempt to confuse people. “Personal schedules clashed with group activities”, this leaves an extensive room for debate because it includes practices, and how can fans possibly verify their attendance for practices (behind closed doors)? It’s not like you can follow them around as if you are their assistant or manager. Who knows they might even practice after meeting up for a meal together, so by missing the dinner gathering, they can say you were absent for practice too. Such befuddling reasons misled people into thinking Jessica deserved whatever happened to her because she was asking for it. Blindly assuming she ignored group activities and only cared about her own business, that she is so selfish, and it’s a good thing she left. Even if she did not leave the group voluntarily, thank God the agency forced her out, she deserved to be kicked out. Okay, let’s take a moment and use our brains now, what was the message that SM’s official statement was trying to convey?

“Yes, I intended to inform everyone that SNSD will proceed with their activities as 8 from now on, but I didn’t expect her to speak up first, so you can’t blame me, blame it on her for thinking about leaving in Spring, I advised her against it but realized it was futile, so I kicked her out, yes it was a decision by both the members and myself, so don’t blame this on me alone.”

SM’s official statement was actually saying; members of boy groups can go on a hiatus for 2 years (due to the need to serve in the army) and not get forced out, and members of girl groups can skip group activities due to their participation in musicals, tv-dramas, or because of health reasons, and a plethora of other excuses; their attendance is dependent on their personal schedules that could last a day or two or could even be as long as 3 to 4 months, it is alright to skip activities because I will just overlook it. BUT dear Jessica, within the span of 1 month from the day you launched your personal business, you have missed practices, take note it’s just practices since we didn’t witness Jessica missing any public events, but my apologies, please withdraw from the group, you are no longer a member.

You said Jessica was going to leave in Spring, what was your motive for advising her against it then? To make sure SNSD stays complete, am I right? But within the brief span of 1 month, you changed the course of direction for the person whom you painstakingly tried to retain, and discarded the whole idea of a complete group, oh, with such a huge loophole, tell me, are you even serious?

(It will be perfect if they were to release such an official statement 1 year later (after putting her on hiatus), because Jessica would have played straight into their hands and missed many activities, and then it would seem more rightful for them to withdraw her from the group, citing ‘no-show for multiple activities’ as a reason. There could be another frightening possibility, and that is the official statement was meant to be released in 2015 but Jessica spoke up first unfortunately, which explains the part where they said Jessica was going to leave after 1 more album in the ‘Dispatch Q&A’. Because that will make perfect sense since <Catch Me If You Can> was released in the later part of 2014 and that will seemingly be Jessica’s final single with the group as planned. SM certainly put a lot of thought into it. It seems like they failed to edit the ‘Dispatch 18 Q&A’ though, no wonder it didn’t make any sense when I came across the part where they said she will leave after releasing 1 last album with the group.)

The above bracketed paragraph is solely based on the author’s own logic and conclusion, it is up to you to believe it or not. It’s a pity we failed to notice SM’s schemes.

SM’s official statement was actually very short, because the ‘Dispatch Q&A’ had spoken everything on their behalf. What they wanted to portray was that they had tried everything they could but failed to salvage the situation, and they wanted people to believe that “Jessica’s withdrawal had absolutely nothing to do with them.”

This is a very common PR tactic; all we wanted was an explanation, but they had to drag you into the gutter, honestly, did you think all of us are as gullible as a 3 year old kid, I explicitly asked you about the weather today but you tell me the weather forecast indicates that the weather is beautiful in Spring so the weather is not bad today? Where is the correlation?

So what was SM’s role in this ‘930’ incident? In my opinion, they were the mastermind. But I feel that they are the executors and not the initiators. Firstly, all members renewed their contracts in August 2014, even though they are one of the biggest entertainment agencies, SNSD is still their top girl group and it consists of 9 women who have clawed their way to the top for the past 10’ish years. What if they decide to up and leave together if their demands are not met? It is during this time that Jessica wrote up a new contract with SM. It is impossible that SM wouldn’t evaluate her brand first. So what should they base their evaluation on? Obviously it will be evaluated based on the brand’s future value and revenue. Jessica had indeed paid the necessary fees to SM and in other words, they reached a mutual agreement. This also meant that SM expected to reap profits from Jessica’s brand. The bigger her brand gets, the better for SM, and they can reap profits without having to move a finger. This is an additional source of revenue for them, and if all things go well, they can even invest in her brand and become a shareholder at a low-entry price. Who wouldn’t want that? It would be such a waste not to. Businessmen are opportunistic and will never let such an opportunity slip away, it’s in their nature. So for those who said SM got frightened after learning how Jessica intended to scale her business, you probably thought SM is the fruit stall near your house that got their guts eaten alive. There was a legal agreement, do you take SM’s lawyers for fools who didn’t analyze the potential profit before letting SM sign the contract? Seems like you are undermining SM’s capabilities. Jessica’s ‘Blanc & Eclare’ shades also appeared in a movie produced by SM, which further proves that they did enter an agreement.

During that time, the person who held the authority to make decisions caused the ‘930 incident’ to happen, to a certain extent. The person in power at that time was Kim Young Min who was appointed the president a long time ago, but the soul of SM has always been Lee Soo Man who is also the biggest shareholder. But the docile president was finally given the chance to make a decision on his own in 2014. Lee Soo Man’s wife was critically ill then, and due to the inevitable internal power struggle, he was left with no choice but to loosen his tight reign over Kim Young Min temporarily. Kim Young Min would obviously do whatever he deemed fit against better judgement. Their artistes has no affection towards Kim Young Min, unlike for Lee Soo Man whom they address as their ‘seonsaengnim’ (teacher) because they were brought into the industry by him. If Lee Soo Man had been the one in power instead of Kim Young Min when conflicts occurred among members, he might have held the respect and ability to appease their anxiety, so that they would have waited patiently instead of making rash decisions. He would have taken a better approach and advise Jessica more appropriately when she asked for the go-ahead for her business, giving possibility to a positive outcome with regards to the earlier negotiations that have reached stalemate. Most importantly, Lee Soo Man would have had a better grasp of Jessica’s temperament and know that she is different from his other money-making machines who are obedient and whom he has wrapped around his finger. He would have known that Jessica is no pushover and cannot be easily influenced and accused for breach of contract, instead of simply devising a ‘perfect’ set-up (first citing health reasons; then absence from group activities; then dating scandal; end up leaving the group) thinking Jessica will comply obediently and they can get away with it.

Everyone should be familiar with this set-up. Yes, Sulli went through it. I am not going to judge Sulli but I just think such a set-up works indeed. At least in our hearts, f(x) should be a group of 4, the perfect 4. If Jessica hadn’t spoken up first, will the outcome be different with a similar set-up? SNSD would be a group of 8, it would make sense and everything would seem fine. Of course Jessica will still be the scapegoat, and SM will continue to profit. This outcome is absolutely perfect.

The upper management’s role here is to watch them attack each other, then turn the tide in their favor. This will be the best of both worlds for them. SM always has a fall back plan. In their official statement and subsequent arrangements, their intention was to make Jessica stay so they can share the profits equally. Honestly, SM would have been the biggest winner if Jessica had stayed in the company (after being forced out). They would have rights to Jessica’s personal fashion brand, and they could have benefitted from all the publicity from the ‘930’ saga. SNSD would return in a new form as 8 and bring a breath of fresh air to the public eye. Jessica would continue raking in revenue and they can get free publicity by mentioning Jessica - a former SNSD member, every now and then, with no consequence. Even though they are doing it now, it’s still rather inconvenient. For example, a MV conveniently leaked by an anonymous fan (e.g. Catch Me If You Can). They would have violated Jessica’s rights if they had spread that MV via their official platform instead, and Jessica would have to be compensated.

But Jessica was adamant about leaving and SM lost the opportunity to enjoy the best of both worlds. Nonetheless, Jessica was made the scapegoat successfully and she didn’t sue SM for breach of contract, so the company still won. The reason why SM was so confident was because Krystal is still under SM, and it was impossible to go hostile with SM as long as she still wanted to pursue an entertainment career, and also unless she couldn’t care less about Krystal’s future anymore. Some people said that Jessica was able to dissolve her contract with SM amicably because SM didn’t want her anymore. You must be horribly mistaken because SM still cared enough to assign a team of staff to Jessica even for her personal schedules, right until her contract was dissolved. So rather than saying SM didn’t want Jessica anymore, the more logical explanation would be that the contract was dissolved because a mutual consensus was reached after much deliberation that by doing so was the most mutually-beneficial approach. SM agreed to dissolve her contract because they were the ones who breached the contract this time. The reason why SM persecuted the people who left their company was because this group of people did violate their contract. Whereas for Jessica’s case, SM was in the wrong and since they did not have the upperhand, they were wise to not pursue this issue because the possibility of them winning this lawsuit is slim. And Jessica chose to end the contract amicably because she didn’t want to remain in such a company and also because Krystal is still under them. I am not mentioning Krystal on purpose but because it shouldn’t come as a surprise for real sisters to spare a thought for each other. If Jessica’s departure from the group didn’t affect Krystal at all, she would have appeared in SMTown’s ending stages. 3 years later today, after multiple SMTown concerts, Krystal still has not appear a single time. You can consider it a coincidence if it’s once or twice, but not if it’s everytime. It’s simply because she can’t bring herself to.

Finally, let’s talk about whether conflicts occurred among the members. As the saying goes “to stay together through thick and thin”, this is easier said than done, and hard times will always reveal true friends. It’s true they have gone through hard times together before, but it’s a different situation altogether now that they have reached their peak.

Imagine this scenario: 9 girls who reached their peak through mutual support; everyone starts to plan for their own future, and upon discussion some say they will work even harder to become the number 1 K-Pop idol; then Jessica tells the members about her grand plan, “I want to start a company, and I’m going to overtake you guys by working twice as hard”. This is definitely shocking news for the rest, “Eh, but you didn’t have any ambitions before? Why are you so motivated and driven all of a sudden?”

“Yes I’ve changed, you guys have a problem with it? I’m going to start working much harder. I’ve spent year after year without jobs allocated to me, this cannot go on anymore, can’t I start living my life without regrets from now on?”

“NO. Absolutely NOT.” I’m not sure if you have experienced it before but it happened to me. I’m generally an easy-going person and it’s not because I don’t care, but it’s simply because I don’t want others to feel threatened by thinking I’m trying to snatch anything away from them. Call me stubborn but I want to be appreciated by my superiors based on my own merits. Jessica was in SNSD for 7 years, it’s hard to believe she has no ambition at all. She trained for 7 long years, and she wouldn’t have been able to persevere if she hadn’t dreamed of success. Would she have been able to persevere if she didn’t have the passion for singing? But when she didn’t make the cut and was not selected to be part of SNSD’s subunit in 2012, her position as 2nd lead vocalist was clearly threatened. TTS comes to mind whenever people mention SNSD’s vocal line, but where was Jessica? There was no Jessica. If I put myself in her shoes, knowing that I obviously love singing, knowing that I obviously should have gotten it, and knowing that I obviously should have been acknowledged, but I was forgotten instead. You can only imagine how dejected she would have been. I can completely understand her reason for wanting to work something out for herself, but that doesn’t mean everyone else would understand or even see eye-to-eye with her.

Take me for example. I was lazy during my high school days, but suddenly realize I couldn’t go on like this during my 3rd year, so I started working very hard. But my best friend turned against me and her reason was, “why did you become so serious suddenly? I feel uncomfortable being around you, being your friend makes me feel so stressed out now.”

I was disgusted. You were always working hard whereas all I did was laze around previously, and now that I’ve started working hard, you suddenly think I got too serious? You already feel threatened even before I started working hard?

I experienced this first hand so I can understand the situation perfectly, and especially after I read Jessica’s official statement. I’m not trying to point fingers, but we tend to evaluate our friends. We are used to having friends being worse off or equal, but never better than us. Especially if said friend used to be a lazy person who suddenly decided to work hard. The anxiety and fear caused by this sudden revelation is enough to send you into a state of panic.  

That is exactly what Jessica did, she sent her 8 members into a state of panic, and they could have kept their annoyance to themselves, but someone decided to aggravate the issue. Once it was brought up and pondered over, the situation turned for the worse. They convinced themselves that her decision would affect the group instead of it being about their own fear of knowing she was going to have a brighter future than them. It’s easy to come up with a bunch of bollocks as excuses since you can’t speak about your toxic thoughts. Like my friend who said “You’ve changed, you didn’t used to care about your future”. Of course I needed to change, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have a future. Are you telling me this was what my friend wanted me to be? A useless bum?

Jessica must have been so traumatized when the members made her choose between SNSD and her business. “We reached a mutual understanding after discussing about it, you guys even congratulated me, so why is it that you guys are forcing me to choose now?” Jessica has her ‘character flaws’ and it shown at this time, she is too iron-willed, stubborn, and it feels almost impossible to get her to back down. The more you threaten and force her to yield, the tougher she becomes. Her inability to come to terms with their sudden change of mind and the members’ unwillingness to compromise led to this fight. SM chose to watch silently and not act as a mediator in this fight since they will anger the other party if they were to pick sides, so they let them work it out among themselves.

It’s such a shame that something like this happened to SNSD when it’s time to enjoy their success. The members probably held numerous meetings among their respective cliques. The more they thought about it, the more ridiculous it seemed to them. The more publicity her brand got, the more absurd it felt. The more they understood the scale of her ambition, the more panicky they got. This kind of panic wasn’t jealousy, it was simply because they couldn’t get used to this supposedly ‘new and improved’ Jessica, and also partly stemmed from their own selfishness. “I can stay beside you forever, but, you cannot ever surpass me, especially not materialistically.” When the members demanded Jessica to stop all her plans, Jessica said she already invested heavily and there was no way she could drop everything just like that. Everything came to a standstill. On one hand, the members felt like Jessica has changed, “you didn’t use to be like this, you were never this driven and ambitious”, while on the other hand, Jessica felt threatened, “We have been together for 10 years, shouldn’t you guys support me unconditionally?”

So did they try to work it out? They did. Jessica continued posting material related to the members in September, but the members began to take an even tougher stance. I believe the situation wouldn’t have reached such a terrible state if someone didn’t aggravate the situation. Lee Soo Man would have attempted to appease everyone and not let any malicious person cloud the members’ judgement. The reason why any malicious person would succeed in driving a wedge between them was because the 9 of them were no longer like before, they have their own cliques now, their own circle of friends, and have their own career paths to take. There is no way to know who the malicious people who instigated them were, but they definitely existed. The success of Jessica’s brand may not have a significant impact on the members, but if Jessica succeeded in both entertainment and fashion industries, it might have a strong effect on the people behind the team. This fight looks like a 1 vs 8 from the outside, but in actual fact, it’s a conflict of personal interests that involved many others. It’s a shame they didn’t manage to keep their promise of being together forever. After considering the future revenue and benefits of 1 vs 8 without Lee Soo Man helming SM’s management team, and taking Sulli’s incident as a guide, it was easy to use a similar setup for Jessica’s dismissal. So they acceded to the 8 members’ demands, and then informed Jessica she was excluded from all future SNSD activities. They were going to use health as a reason for Jessica’s absence, and let her slowly fade away.

All 3 (Jessica, members, SM) parties were at fault.

Jessica was overconfident thinking the members would never go to the extent of kicking her out, so she used the delay-tactic and hoped the conflict would work itself out with time. She also over-estimated Kim Young Min’s trustworthiness by thinking she could disregard the members’ opposition by gaining Kim Young Min’s word of approval. As we all know, Jessica got played. If she hadn’t gotten his word of approval, she might have taken the members’ state of anxiety into consideration and not daringly leave the country to attend to personal matters. But Kim Young Min was definite and gave her his word, then he turned his back on her the moment she left the country. He broke down her defences and caught her off guard. Jessica’s overconfidence caused her to overlook the immediate danger and she was caught in an awkward predicament, like a drowned mouse.

As for the members, they cracked under pressure and gave in to their anxiety by blowing things out of proportion, thinking their conflict with Jessica was beyond repair. It escalated from simply not being used to seeing your friend become so driven suddenly, to the road of no return, because there wasn’t a mediator to alleviate the situation, and they were played by the people who used their emotions against them by clouding their judgement. I think there were neutral members who kept their opinions to themselves, and by keeping quiet they were inadvertently agreeing to whatever decision was being made. I think the neutral members were YoonA, Seohyun, Hyoyeon, and Sunny. YoonA is known for her high EQ, she is not the sort to take an active role especially in situations like such whereby she would likely offend either party. During a rehearsal around the time this fight was going on, she didn’t dare to interact with Jessica openly but they still made eye contact. In a Hong Kong interview around mid-September, she blatantly said she wasn’t the one who started or instigated this matter. As for Seohyun, she had always been cordial with Jessica, being the youngest in the group, her words didn’t weigh as much. When Jessica attended the <I Love that Crazy Little Thing> presscon, a reporter asked if she knew Seohyun was in Beijing too, and she answered “Yes”. This was a huge contrast to when she was asked if she knew Yuri was in Hong Kong, where Jessica replied “Oh she is? I didn’t know”. When asked if they were going to meet up, she replied “I don’t think so”. Her attitude was very different. Another possibility could be that her anger has slowly dissipated with time. Perhaps Jessica simply doesn’t care as much anymore, so her approach to such questions have changed too. As for Sunny, she remained passive since there wasn’t a need for her to instigate anything, because she had nothing to gain from this fight due to her special status. Nothing can change the fact that she is Lee Soo Man’s niece, and her attitude after 930 says it all. She seemed like she got sick of this supposed sisterly bond. Lastly Hyoyeon, being one of the less popular members aside, most importantly, her life motto is “it’s okay, everything’s going to be fine”. She tends to make peace with whatever situation. Jessica once said Hyoyeon gave similar advice to her before. There are similarities between these 4 members, they are neutral by nature and are not good at expressing themselves. Perhaps they have minimal conflict of interests with Jessica, or perhaps their family backgrounds are not too far off from Jessica, or perhaps their talent and field of interests are different from Jessica, so they don’t clash.

But it’s such a shame because everyone has grown up, so their way of thinking and doing things won’t be what you always see in fairytales, where they will thrive and survive against all odds. They can only obey the majority, obey the most outspoken people. Because of the fear of being singled out saying they are antisocial by not following the masses, and also the fear for their future, most importantly the fear that they will not get to enjoy their share of the pie, their share of the success that was made possible by the contribution of all 9 members.

On the morning of 930, Jessica completely gave up hope and did not follow through with SM’s plan (to say her absence was due to health reasons) when the members made such a grave and heartless decision. Let’s imagine, if any of the members had cried and threw a fit, 930 may not have gone down the way it did. Well I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt and think that they didn’t waste 14 years of their lives for nothing.

Reality is cruel, even though most fans understand, they don’t want to accept reality. But we have to admit that idols hide all their problems behind their smiles, and behind their smiles is a world of pain that even they themselves don’t want to confront. It is best to not let such darkness and negativity swallow you up, because once you let it get to your heart, you will definitely crumble.

As for SM, their mistake was taking Jessica for a fool thinking they could pull the same trick twice without her figuring out how it’s done. You used the same tactic on Choi Sulli, and then you go tell Jessica, “Hey, Jessica babe, we intend to use the same tactic on you, so please don’t show up for the fanmeet today okay? Don’t show up for future SNSD activities too because you are no longer a part of the group, but please keep it a secret and don’t tell anyone, let’s take it one step at a time.” Can you guess Jessica’s reaction and next course of action? As the saying goes, even an angry bunny bites back, moreover Jessica is a cat. \(-_- )/

With Jessica’s character, she was definitely not going to be a sitting duck just waiting to get slaughtered, and this was also the reason why she was not made the leader. Her life motto is “follow my heart”. A popular artiste once said that no agency was willing to sign him and their reason was that they needed their artistes to be obedient so they could exercise control over them easily, and they should be someone who can’t survive in the industry upon leaving the agency. But he is a highly intelligent man of many talents who can survive on his own even if he leaves the entertainment industry. Jessica will never fall for SM’s tricks like Sulli did because she doesn’t do things against her own will and conscience. Perhaps Kim Young Min didn’t have a good grasp of every artiste’s personalities and thought he could use the same trick on Jessica. So the situation turned into a farce. Drama ensued and Jessica revealed the truth so everyone can have a clear view of what really went down.

3- Backstabbed her former members? Backstabbed by agency and former members?

I think Jessica got backstabbed, so she retaliated and gave them a taste of their own medicine. Let’s be logical, what would you do if you got backstabbed? Smile and let it pass? This is what a monk would do, not how commoners like us would react. The reason why I said Jessica got backstabbed: firstly Jessica posted on weibo at 5am when it wasn’t too long after she got informed of her dismissal. She was absolutely infuriated at this time, perhaps she witnessed the members carrying on with their preparation for the Shenzhen fanmeet as if nothing happened after notifying her of her dismissal. Or perhaps she didn’t even get to see the members after receiving a message for her dismissal, and all the members were not contactable. No matter what happened, it definitely had significant impact on a person who thought there was still room for negotiations. Moreover the people who informed you (be it in person or by written notice) had been your friends for more than a decade. Both scenarios are unthinkable and unbearable but unfortunately, either of this scenario must have happened. I have this conclusion because in both of SM’s and Jessica’s official statements, "company and members" were mentioned. If the rumors are real, it could be less hurtful if Jessica was notified face-to-face, rather than simply receiving a written notice to leave the group, and then go on to find out that all members were uncontactable. Jessica deserved to be treated with at least minimum respect, and granting her a face-to-face settlement is the proper way.

Regardless of what went down, the person who received such news would feel absolutely helpless and angry, and it is no surprise that it led to Jessica’s post on Weibo. Perhaps you think you can handle such news without getting into a frenzy, then good for you, but that doesn’t apply to everyone. What about Jessica? She was once asked about Sooyoung and YoonA’s relationships and she said, “if the members were not informed beforehand and only got to know when the news break out, then that’s rude.” This was exactly what happened to her, and the sheer anger she felt was a tell-tale sign of who the real backstabbers were. Long-time Sones will tell you Jessica is cold and not to be trifled with, something they derived from media reports and the image that SM tailormade for her. I feel that she doesn’t have an overly vibrant personality and is also not easily fooled. She doesn’t accept being shortchanged. How can we be all smiles after being backstabbed repeatedly unless you are Mother Mary? Some would say she did that because she anticipated SM’s actions and wanted to gain the upperhand. Guys, this is not the way to do it. It doesn’t always mean you have the upperhand just because you did something first.

The《Old Book of Tang》has two examples on “take the initiative is to gain the upper hand”, but two different results, positive case - Tang Long coup and negative case - Li Chongjun rebellion case, in the concept of time they are both the first, why they had different fates? Because Li Chongjun at most was a person with a temporary meaning of indignation, and ignored the definition of the first start is " to surprise the enemy". However, Li Longji's “take the initiative is to gain the upper hand” was way better because his "sudden attack when enemy aren’t prepared" such steady ruthless behavior style.

So let’s take a look, did Jessica’s behavior really was “strikes first and gains the advantage”? In fact, from this point in time, you can see, Jessica has no wisdom as Li Longji when she was in the middle of such situation, my analogy may make people feel funny, how is an idol comparable to an emperor of Tang dynasty? Of course not. Return to the matter, what I mean is that 25-year-old Jessica Jung failed with her “strike first”, and it even created dangers for her future situation.

Jessica’s statement was posted at 5:00 AM, but SM released the official statement until 1:00 PM, I would like to ask, is it really “strike first and get advantages” that you gave your opponent such a long time difference? Do you all think that after informing Jessica to leave the group in the early morning, SM’s PR all went back to sleep? Obviously no. Not to mention at 5:00 AM the rest of the members must have got up and got ready to go to Shenzhen in the morning for the fan meeting. We can also see what SM was doing for up to seven hours from the trend of news later. Yes, they began their fancy performance of manipulating the media and news, if you are interested, you can search up, they really calculated every step well.

Since SM informed that Jessica to leave the group, SM must have prepared to solve the aftermath. SM is the No.1 of Korea showbiz and deals with this kind of things for many times, its PR is the strongest and fastest among the three big entertainment companies, you have to admit that inside of SM there’s a complete PR crisis management mechanism model, and this is why the artists who are blocked by SM will never enjoy the status that other artists have. Isn’t there JYJ Law? Yes, but do you see it works? No. We can understand these common senses, as a member of SNSD, a senior artist under SM, wouldn’t Jessica understand all these? She does, it’s just she has to release her emotions.

It is a normal thing, but Jessica react without any time difference, it gives SM a chance to twist the truth and catch breath which gets her into a bad fix, we’re all familiar with the story of “three men talking makes a tiger” (repeated rumor becomes a fact), when most of the media of the country talk about something in a certain way, as someone who does not know the facts, will you believe the media or a litigant who was smeared? To a great extent, the media is the eyes and ears of civilians, people will trust everything the media report, I have watched a Korean movie “Defender”, the lawyer in it was actually defending for the children who got framed, but the media twisted the facts and call the lawyer a bad guy who is bribed, from this, we can see that media can really so someone wrong or even put them to death.

That is why I say that Jessica is actually not the people who catch all the ball before the bound because she posted this statement under her impulsive anger, she did not think too much nor did she prepared anything to protect herself, and that gives the opponent a perfect chance to flip the card.

If I was Jessica, and I really wanted to ruin SNSD like some people said, I would announce publicly that it was the company and members forced me out and wanted me to take the blame when everything is ready, on the evening of the SNSD fan meeting, when the members who attend the fan meeting followed the script and say that I cannot make it to the fan meeting because of sickness. What do you think? I would call that perfect.

Come, everybody, let’s take a minute and think, is the situation that I suggested “pre-emptive”, or post the news at 5 AM and give the company and PR plenty of time to get ready “pre-emptive”?

“Isn’t mentioning members means that members knew about it and even pushed it behind?” Many people who saw Jessica’s Weibo posts thought like that. Of course what we think is not important, what matters is what Korean people think and how they choose. Alright, even people believe this statement and know it is not Jessica’s fault, so what? Because it is impossible for them to condemn their bias, it is also impossible to condemn a party of eight because of a party of one, and it is impossible to allow SNSD - the name card of Korea - get dirt on it, so, sorry we have to blame you. So we see a very funny thing that under the news about Jessica, in the Korean comment section, as long as there’s a news about Jessica, they always leave negative comments and hates, but the only exception is when she releases her album, people comment with good word to affirm her singing skill, is it her singing skill that good, good enough to overcome all those hates before? All the people who always comment her with bad word suddenly stopped on the day? I don’t think so.

Compared with the announcement came later from SM, the content of Jessica’s Weibo posts are really simple and clear, it’s just like, “I can’t meet you at 10:00 PM tomorrow because my friends don’t allow me, I can’t go now”, such a casual and normal message, I feel so funny when I see those “betray” arguments.

“In the end, it is just whose fan you are, you stand by whom, isn’t it?” Yes, I agree with that, but it’s obvious there’s right and wrong between standpoints, and I feel right to stand on the standpoint of Jessica to make sense of this issue. We may as well imagine it, if Jessica only mentioned the company and did not mention members, will her ending change? No, SM had already prepared many public notices for her, say that she is just selfish and wanted to leave, sooner or later, fans of SNSD will believe this allegation and turn to condemning Jessica. But if Jessica didn’t mention members, will rest of the members and fans end differently? Yes, because like that, the reputations of other eight members would not suffer a bit, and their fans can continue to follow their bias without any guilt, meanwhile, criticize Jessica who got kicked out from time to time.

Can people be so selfish to such great degree? Just for your self-interests, you can step on other people’s genuineness and yell at other people said that he or she is setting you up?

Apparently in today’s society, speaking the truths is betrayal, and telling lies and empty words is honesty.

4- Prepared to leave the group? Whom to blame for losing group spirit? (SNSD fans)

Before I get to the main point, I still want to emphasize, the truth is the more you debate about it, truer you will find it is, put it anywhere works the same. Started with this post, fans from every side started to put on a show, both sides hold strongly to their arguments, looking back, the truth is actually crystal clear. 

Here I want to introduce the background of both sides, first, Jessica’s side, obviously her bias fans. And another side, are they really group fans, I don’t really think so, at least official SNSD fansites didn’t state they are OT8, and I believe, those who separate Jessica and SNSD from the beginning are definitely not group fans, I asked those who were group fans back then, they struggled inside for a long time, didn’t know whether to believe Jessica’s post or not, but they never publicly showed which side they chose. But at that time, bias fans with their hearts belong to someone have already started to choose side, what did Jessica’s leaving exposed, it exposed the inside structure of SNSD’s Chinese group fans has already turned from mostly group fans to mostly bias fans, I see that some people who become SNSD’s fans later or just became a group fan a while ago complain that Jessica made SNSD’s fans lost their group spirit, I want to say that you misunderstood, SNSD’s group fans were already losing to the bias fans of the three popular aces (Tae, Yoon, Sic), the only difference is to see it falling apart on the surface or storming under the waves.

So, at the beginning both arguing sides’ backgrounds, put it plainly, is just three popular aces’ bias fans divided into two sides and fight, only this time one side picked up “group fan” such noble weapon. Group fans’ noses got pulled by others, this is why someone became nobody’s fan, because group fans have no enough strengths to fight three aces’ bias fans, the purpose of one side is to explain the issue of Jessica leaving the group, another side wanted to shame about Jessica’s leaving, group fans were forced to choose a side, some people chose SNSD for a more certain future, some people chose Jessica for their reconciled minds. Some people didn’t choose because SNSD died after 930, eight people are still SNSD is just nonsense, what you like is it just the brand of SNSD, SM’s strategy? Let them say whatever they want to say, let them manipulate whichever way they want to manipulate? So after that, OT7, OT6? Till there’s no one left? Looking at those people who chose the side right after and desperate Jessica out of the group but also claim themselves as group fans, I feel chilly at my back, since when the meaning of group fans became following the brand and the name? What is more disappointing, that those people became OT8, and for proving their choice are correct, they started to seek for excuses.

First, “unexpectedly, got informed suddenly” this point got griped by every bias fans group led by SNSD’s two big aces bias fans and zoomed in, they found that before and after the middle of September, some words said by some of the leaders of Jessica’s fans, they think that Jessica leaving the group is well-known among people, but herself didn’t know about it, it is such a show. About this, I want to use a metaphor don’t know if it is appropriate. I remember in 《西窗法雨》(a Chinese book about law) there is a famous case in England, 19th century, the “crew murder” case, it’s about a ship crossing ocean and the ship got into shipwreck, there were only four people left, a kid drank sea water and was about to die, and there’s no more food left on the ship, so the captain had an idea, egged other people to kill the kid and save himself. This case is a very famous case in Case Law, I alter it a little bit, for example, there are three people on the ship, the ship is leaking and they have to through one people out, at that time, the other two have already decided to through A away, but the A who got chosen to be through away do not comply, he grabbed onto the ship, he is negotiating with the people on the ship, maybe there’s some other way to solve the problem instead of having to through him into the ocean. This is a survival instinct, everyone is like this, someone asks how can he be so stupid, that’s because you are not on the ship, you don’t know for A now, leaving the ship means death.

People around who cares about the ship are watching, too, they got to know about the situation a little earlier than those who were watching from the shore far away and waiting for the ship to return, but due to their love for the ship and their respect to A, they didn’t send out the information that they know about beforehand, they just turn around to those people on the shore who cares and complain, “maybe this time when they come back there will be no more A”, because they knew that A may not pass this difficulty, but meanwhile, people all have some hope, A had hope, he thought that people on the ship may consider his suggestion, they will take him back home together, people who care about A, thought that A has the ability to make things turn around. All of sudden, someone on the ship found a tool and threw A into the ocean, what a clean cut. This is way beyond the expectation of A and people around who cares.

May I ask, for A, is it the suddenness and panic that he felt at that moment he got through away conflicts with the idea that he knew he may get through away? This moment that A got through away caused people around who knew about the situation anger and indignation, is it conflicts with the action of telling people on the shore “don’t wait, A may not make it” when they saw A struggling?  

So, got informed all of a sudden conflicts with there were disagreements among members and leaving the group was about to happen? No. Is it the anger and shocking they have when actually see a confirmed statement of having to leave the group conflicts with that some head of fans knew some inside news in the middle of the month and complain about it on Weibo? No.

So, where did the argument of premeditation come from? Form the mouths of OT8 who purposely making a clearly “got forced out of the group” issue into “leaving the group on her free will”, why do they do that, because they couldn't face the fact that “my idol was involved in this act of forcing someone to leave”, what’s funny is that a lot of smaller/younger fans got pulled away, followed such idea and believed in it, yelling about that Jessica wanted to leave, making me a new fan feel embarrassing. An argument can be so easily laid bare, surprisingly got make into the truth for so long. This really fulfills those OT8’s purpose of saying such thing.

Second, I remember that I have read some Jessica’s Weibo posts about parting the group, at first on Weibo there weren't so many complaints about “8 others”, and then I verified about it, this argument was brought up on that afternoon, why needed verify, because when I came into the fandom this actually became a main point of such debate, what can I say, this just makes me laughing me tears out. At first, when I encounter such argument I even thought about it carefully, this can only blame the word “others” which wouldn’t be controversial in any other language besides Mandarin. This is not that I am boasting Mandarin and despising English, this complaint about “others” really need to blame that Mandarin is so broad and profound, one speaking tone has one explanation, whatever you want to think, whatever you want to say, you can always find a version. In addition, Jessica also posted Korean version, this time about how to translate group members nobody seemed to care. OT8 tirelessly bring up “8 others”, make me feel confused. The word “others” upsets who? Does it really have so many deep meanings that they need to bring that up every time talking about parting the group? It is necessary to make up explanations and twist her words just to make it fit into the meanings you wanted it to mean when she didn’t even know about the Mandarin translation of that word?

But soon after, when I see more and more such arguments, I realized even though such argument seems very unreasonable but how smart it is, this is just an ulterior motive, how many others doesn’t matter, what matters is that Jessica mentioned members in her statement, why keep following a group if it is not what you sign up for any more? It is that Jessica mentioned members in her statement made OT8 angry, no other reasons just because she broke the “my idol is innocent” image in their minds, because it would make their idols get involved. The best solution is to draw in those group fans who were swinging, create a “Jessica is the villain” image, don’t allow you to rethink why Jessica would mention members, what was the background story, just a simple word “others”, drawing those swinging group fans whose bias was not Jessica, and also got Jessica fans attention, it was a righteous and clear statement, after that they keep grabbing onto that word and make up explanations.

Seriously, fandom wars are most splendid when comes to crisis PR.

Today, I return this strange argument about “others” back to OT8, also advise Jessica’s fans no need to explain so many grammars or translations, this is just a tool they use for brainwashing, how possibly they don’t know about those. Also, among all those whitewash reasons, only this one works the best, because it will not be refuted as time passes, it is just a word, no need for proof, all they need to use is their hypocritical whiny to blame her.

Third, why Jessica posted on Weibo, my idea since I got into the fandom has not changed till now, although there was some intention to come develop in China, but that intention didn’t develop just then, but in 2013, this intention was developed not only because Jessica herself wanted to come to China, but the whole SM had a strategic incline to China after 2013, our country’s market is huge and strong, and K-POP market was not saturated, it was in its heyday, it was a wonderful choice for SNSD which needed to develop a new market, so we could see that after 2013, SNSD had more and more activities leaning towards China, also in 2014 tested the water on TV shows and national tour, so someone needs to open up the popularity for SNSD as pioneer, SM needed Jessica’s intention to be the pioneer, so there could be a signal that she’s developing in China. Why choose Jessica, is to balance the 3 top aces, especially Jessica and Taeyeon, they have similar positions, both are main vocals, but there are only so many resources, if you got it, I won’t have it, if I got it, you won’t get any, competing for so many years, put Jessica to China in an appropriate way, is a strategy to ease the conflicts a little bit. SM did some good calculations, it is the same reason later putting Yoona to replace Jessica’s position on opening up Chinese market, it’s always choosing paths for SNSD’s future consumption, if it wasn’t for the Korea’s ban, with Yoona’s fluent Chinese, leading SNSD to gaining more fans in China is no problem. Meanwhile, to keep aces conflicts from happening, Taeyeon have never entered the Chinese market.

Also, she did not have any other social media back then, it is unrealistic to make a new account just for posting this thing, getting verified would take a while, she would not have the mood to set up a new account, and the first post is, "excuse me everyone, I am no longer a part of the group", no one would do that, unless their brains not working, serious face.

On top of that, why not posted within Korea, I am wondering about this, too, within Korea itself, why don’t they design their own social media app? You just making celebrities have no choice when they want to announce something, got no sense of privacy that it is exclusive to my country, everyone uses INS, once it’s posted the whole world know about it, so not low-key. All right enough sidetrack, you guys all know that Korea doesn’t have its own social media, then someone says, isn’t there some official website comment section? Oh so you got kicked of SNSD, and then you went to SNSD official website and leave a comment saying that I got kicked out, how awkward and embarrassing is that. Jessica was angry, but not ruthless. Or tell the media, let them publish news overnight, but is media any good? Your statement is just about that I got forced out, but media which always likes to add oil onto fires, their news may be like “Shocking! Jessica got pushed out of the group by members, members shouting ‘if you’re going then I’m not going’!”

Last but not least, also the most understandable reason, why posting on Weibo, because she needs to inform Chinese fans, originally she was going to Shenzhen fan meeting that day, but she could not go now, who else should she tell besides Chinese fans? Tell Japanese fans? Sorry I couldn’t come to the Shenzhen fan meeting tomorrow. Japanese fans would be like: where is Shenzhen? Of course you tell the fans in that country what is going on about me within that country, such simple reason, still got many criticisms, I even feel sorry for her.

5- Fans turn into haters VS. Tool career?

A few days ago, Korea had a vote about fans turn into haters on DC, I saw that Jessica gloriously got listed again, the reason is still the one I talked about in the beginning - marriage blalalala, selfishly leaving the group blalalala, really, if this is not called love, what else is? In fact, if a fan being fan for a long enough time, he or she will become the head of fans, get to know a lot of things that people would not know, but also have to keep a lot of secrets that people do not know about, because to some extent, your relationship with this idol is difficult to unbound, your love towards them may not be as strong as before, the reason why you stick to it is because you can make profits out of each other. According to group fans and individual strong-biased fans, before the whole thing of parting the group, all the fansites higher-level managements received some signals. What does it mean by received signals? I found the answer later in a Korean Sone’s statement. Received signals means that after the Dispatch’s eighteen questions once was released, they immediately published a "why we do not support Jessica" statement, yes, immediately, the speed of writing is so fast that makes me feel that they didn’t even struggle inside, makes people really sad, when fans in China or other countries are still swinging between OT9 or OT8, Korean Sones have already given out a statement, told Jessica, they no longer choose to support her, I don’t want to post all those logic errors of that statement out here to have you joke about them, I just recommend everyone do not take it serious about the group spirit and statement of Korean people, in their eyes, what idol really is, do not matter, they can support them today and against them tomorrow, It seems very easy for them to issue a “stop supporting” statement, because the status of Korea idols is just too low, and they are not actually loving the idol, is that brand, is the kind of marketing only.

When Jessica Jung leaves you can do that, you can do it again when Jessica Zhang leaves, all that you will ever publish is only "Why don't we support xxx".

Forget about justice, what we want is to a definite career of following idols, just the brand a company created, as for who is a member in there, how she’s vividly alive, it doesn’t matter.  

This is K-POP, the individual appears insignificant under the flow, they are just tools, they are just some dispensable parts which made up the whole valuable industry.

6- When is the end of “you” and SNSD? Is the argument of exploiting childish or not?

Before the talking about the argument of exploiting, I want to talk about some facts that I got “brainwashed” heavily after I got into SNSD, and later I find out those sayings are not true.

1. Jessica invested 40 million dollars into her company, but there is no official statement proving that.

2. Jessica was back to Korea in the early morning, it was in the early morning, but it was the early morning of 29th, not the 30th as SONEs said.

3. Yoona and Taeyeon scapegoat for “Lan Kwai Fong”, in Korea there was no any public comments on that, the news of Yoona and Taeyeon came from Hong Kong Apple Daily, there was one version stated Jessica went to Lan Kwai Fong, but the most news was pointing at Yoona and Taeyeon. The “scapegoat” argument was just nonsense. Because that back-view never matched a front face, you can not say that the main character was Tyler Kwon and now he is close to Jessica, and you just inferring it was Jessica, such way of interpretation is, emm, unintelligible. Or here’s another example, one day the police came and arrested you, the reason is that your friend killed someone, the murder crime that your friend did three years ago just got solved, now you and your friend are so close, then you guys must be complicity and did that together. If such interpretation got put onto your head, do you think is reasonable?

So in the whole K-POP fandom, come to convincing, I was convinced most by SONEs, like for me I didn’t know, a lot of things got carried away by their comments, if I didn’t have a brain which likes to think, maybe my standpoint could have got lead astray.

And in SNSD, there are three people that I admire the most, one is Yoona Im, very high EQ, if she did something, she would tell everyone in the world obscurely that she did it, if she tried, she would tell you she tried without revealing she’s showing off. Also, she never be the one in the whirlpool center, no matter who fell down, she is always still and steady, in SNSD, she actually never wanted to be the thorn in everyone’s eyes, always trying to desalinate that she is in the ACE position, as you all know from interviews, Yoona has always emphasized the saying that “popularity is like seasons.” So many people say that her EQ is high, she is an idol who packaged herself very exquisitely, if you want to follow someone without getting any negative energy, personality setting never falls, always positive and upwards, this person is definitely the best choice, she will never show you the negative side, because she never reveals her true self.

Another one is Jessica Jung, what characteristic that people most afraid of a person, it’s tenacity, is resurrection after death. Maybe someone would say what’s the big deal of it, here here here, the keyboard is yours, you type. Not everyone would be able to face the same “out of group” thing and then come back up again, somebody may go down the wrong pathway. You may not want to admit, but it is true, that she is too notionate, making her road very rough and meandering, she lives very real, she exposes her real “follow my heart” to the public, some people can accept it, some people gnash their teeth in hatred, in the end, it’s just because she can live according to her heart, but most of us, can’t. If you want to follow someone who can help you cultivate yourself and become godly, toughen your personality, and polish your nature, this one would be a good choice. After all, so many blame since debut, but Jessica’s attitude is: no explanation. Never explain, got wronged and got blamed, but she never uses explanation to solve problems. Living in such attitude for long, no wonder becoming godly.

Here I want to say something, actually I do not so agree with Jessica’s way, but seems like she doesn’t have other option. Korean media making her their stunt, after she knew about it, she didn’t say like “hey, my agent company, let’s do a classification or something”, but like “you guys like change my words, right? OK, I will never accept your interviews.” During the first album, because she let Korean medias interviewed her, Jessica suffered on the first day of coming back, later during the second album, she chooses to not taking any Korean media’s interview, no explanation+no intercommunication, even though she’s living by following her heart, but it is a heartbreaking response.

The third one is Taeyeon Kim, this one no doubt should get praise, from background perspective, her family situation is relatively bad among SNSD or most trainees, it’s not like if your family owns a glasses store then you are rich or in middle class, if your civil teacher sees it he or she will criticize you. We (Chinese people) yet care about social status and family class, not to mention Korea is a Capitalism country with our ancient Confucianism influences, over there the class differences are absolutely obvious. But she could use such natural family advantage to make her stand on a winning ground. Some people say she is sensitive, that’s true if it was you, can you not be sensitive? You are not the most good-looking one, not the richest one, there’s plenty of people in the company with excellent singing skill, if one thing that makes you stand out, it is the pureness and obedience, follow company’s decision unconditionally, as I just talked about, SM likes some “nobody” who would listen, she totally qualify for that, no wonder she gets to promote a lot. Also, compared to Yoona Im, Taeyeon Kim would rather show her vulnerability, you would think she’s real, she needs your attention and love, such realness makes her go further. If you want to follow someone who inspires you, who has big dreams, recommend you follow Taeyeon Kim, absolutely an encouragement machine.

OK, now let’s talk about the argument of exploiting, actually “exploit” is pretty much fans’ wishful thinking, whether is the fans of SNSD right now or Jessica’s fans, are using this argument tirelessly, but in fact, technically no one is being exploited. If there is someone (something) is being exploited, is the big pie.

No matter it’s nine or one people, they all have the right and they are enjoying the big pie. Subjectively or objectively, the big pie is the subject of exploit.

Why there’s “former SNSD” title before Jessica’s name from time to time, why in the interview she always got asked how it is after leaving SNSD? Because the band of SNSD is so grand, the brand that those nine people built is so controversial, it’s so necessary for gossips, you think Jessica would really want to hear about these questions? I don’t think so, but you think the media would really never mention it? That’s definitely impossible because it is a stunt that could be dug out from Jessica, it is the point of entertaining of an entertainment industry star, don’t mention this, do you want to ask Jessica what did you eat today? Even if they ask that, will the volume of sales and attention be greater than mentioning the stunts or gossips that people interested in? No.

Same reason, why every time the 8 people SNSD has something happen, Jessica would be mention, accompany them without physically being there? Because in everybody’s heard, they still did not forget that this group is nine people. Everyone is treating this issue with a mindset like “it’s OK, we can still dig out something from it.” So CMIYC nine people MV got leaked out before SNSD’s comeback, Sooyoung Choi used lyrics from “Guardian: The Lonely and Great God” to answer the question about Jessica apart the group in the interview of SNSD 10th anniversary, if no surprise, before the 10th anniversary there will be a series of practice room video being released, all from unofficial channels, but the officials are behind it. As I said, “exploit” is naive children’s idea, their interests are related is the reason why they can not leave the other side alone.

Do you guys remember what it was like during Jessica first solo come back, this side Jessica just announced that she will be coming back in the middle of May, the next day SM daddy is telling everyone, “hey guys, Tiffany is coming back on May 11th. Surprise or not? Unexpected or not?” Well done my SM daddy, you can bump someone so confidently and give others an illusion like they are the host instead of the guest, if I was Jessica’s company, I would be so offended that I will be vomiting blood for three gallons, obviously it was us announced first, now you making us so passive. But SM daddy didn’t just stop there, they saw your teaser, and hired the same American backup dancers as you, backup dancers is just doing business, no big deal, but have you consider Tiffany’s feeling? Win or lose, what’s the point? That’s two old friends who fought together for 10 years, pulling them out and making them opponents, is it really delightful?

No, but the company is just company, they don’t care about your personal feeling. So we saw that before and after the time of Jessica releasing her album, the dance instructor of SNSD posted such words on her social media, “I am drunk so I don’t know what I am talking about, in my heart, you nine girls have the same importance to me, make my heart hurt.” Oh, so this is a side proof that SM hires those dancers on purpose.

So that’s why when Jessica releasing her winter album, only announced it one week before it came out (I probably remember it correctly), and her MV and everything (He probably mean the teasers) kept confidential until three days before the comeback, just because she didn’t want to bump into Seohyun, this behavior really slapped some people’s faces, those who said that she is definitely going to bump Seohyun, if like the first album, build the publicity first to get people excited and then come back, then maybe Seohyun’s album would be released before or after her comeback time, according to SM daddy’s habit, should be before her, this way creates an illusion that I released it first, you followed me, you are taking advantage of me, but this time Jessica made a sudden come back, very little pre-publicity, SM couldn’t finish producing Seohyun’s album within one week, so there was no second bumping, some people got slapped on the face, and then said that it is intentional, she is just afraid to bump into Seohyun, err, so for people who hate you, no matter what you do, you don’t even have a way to make them not hate you.

Some people ask, Jessica, when will be the end of you and SNSD?

Probably when SNSD has no one left, or Jessica leave the industry.

Or as long as Jessica is active, and SNSD is still there, the entanglement will never end, and keep going on and on.

7- My feelings

I just want to tell those restless people: she is no longer a member of SNSD, the fame and profit of SNSD belong to the eight people, but she is the one who was forced out, and the one who bears the pain, please stop accusing someone who literately burst into tears when reading “she’s crying every day” in her sister’s letter that she wanted to leave the group, if someone’s crying just because of one sentence, this can only prove that the scar is way too deep.

I really understand this feeling that you will cry when people mention something touched your heart, I am from a divorced family and always behave strong, everyone thought that I am mature, that’s true too, I have worked really hard to go to college with my efforts, however, whenever someone mentions my parents’ divorce I will cry out loud, just that word “divorce”. Later, I found out a truth:

Everyone has their own scar, people don’t touch, doesn’t mean that it is no longer exist.

I believe that there is some true affection when members of SNSD cried, their relationships last for 14 years at the most, the shortest would be 9 years too, no matter what they would be touched by the scene. But please think about Jessica who has no chance to catharsis the same feeling, since they are on different paths now, if you can’t forget about her, then please don’t act like you care about her but at the same time discrediting her in order to proof that 8 girls are innocent, don’t even say it out loud like you are right, “even though I know that she did nothing wrong, but I would rather follow someone who pretends that everything is peaceful and fine than to forgive someone who exposes her true self.” Such moral is horrible and difficult to understand.

In the end, I want to use the words from Krystal’s letter as my conclusion:

“When I see my sister crying so hard in pain every day,

I wanted to cry, too, I felt so, so sad and heartbreaking.

My sister is such a vulnerable person, will people ever know?”

END.

[jewishandmore]

Mensch and Mystic

Erev Yom Kippur - Kol Nidrei 5781 Sunday, September 27, 2020 Temple Beth Zion, Buffalo, New York by Rabbi Jonathan Freirich

“Be a mensch.”

Or, as they would say in the Old Country, “Zeyt a mensch.”

Three simple words in English, or Yiddish, and some of the most profound and serious advice my grandfather, Grandpa Iggie, may his memory always be for a blessing, offered me.

And Iggie lived those words as well as anyone.

Grandpa Iggie was a professionally compassionate person. He was trained to be a physical therapist at NYU by some of the people who created the field. He was a pioneer among his medical colleagues in Lynbrook, Long Island, in the realm of treating people, not conditions. He always mentioned that to me, saying that we have to regard the person, not whatever they were suffering from, because the person is the point.

Were it not for the sound business mind of Grandma Ida, who ran Iggie’s office for years, Grandpa Iggie would have spent hours with each patient, never getting through his schedule. I imagine that in his office, as he was with all of us, his five grandchildren, he must have been the consummate listener. Unearthing the person behind the pain, and helping each individual patient overcome their discomfort with massage and movement, advice and exercise, and a caring heart to back it all up.

He spoke in that thick and wonderful Brooklyn Ashkenaz accent, pronouncing the Motzi, “Boruch asaw Adonoy…”, and jovially responding to us saying, “Grandpa, say ‘girl’”, with “Goyl,” and then when we said it back to him he would respond, “What’s a matter with you, can’t you speak English?”

Iggie taught me how to play golf, taking joy in spending time on the golf course with the people he loved, applauding us when we did well, and reminding us, on the last hole if we would hit a good shot, “Now that’s a golf shot. That’s a shot to go home with.”

Iggie became a physical therapist in the 1930’s and worked through the Great Depression in the early days of their marriage. Iggie and Ida were shaped by that time and still never gave into to despair. They were hopeful and optimistic. They were generous and ethical.

Iggie was a constantly joyful and thankful presence. From big occasions, like blessing us at our wedding, to small ones eating with anyone in the family, anywhere, he would praise the simplest meals as if he had just supped like a king. He would push back from the table and give the highest praise to whomever was there, hearkening to back to meals with my grandmother, intoning, “Good supper Mommy,” long after Ida was gone. He always ordered the same cocktail, and upon his first sip would genuinely look at it and praise it like was next, “Now that’s a drink!” His inner integrity was always complemented by a sense of joy in the everyday.

When I think of a mensch, someone gently appreciating friends and family with compliments and smiles, honoring obligations to patients and colleagues, living a quiet life of integrity, Grandpa Iggie and his advice, “Be a mensch” forms a perfect intention, a lesson lived and a life lesson going forward long past his time on this earth. After all, Iggie’s gone now since 2003. And his words live on in the stories we tell about him to our kids who never got to meet him. On his birthday and yahrzeit, and many other days during the year, our extended family will chat about him. And he is with us whenever we are on the golf course together.

It isn’t easy to be a mensch. To find the right way to be kind, the right way to be fair, the middle ground between them. To get up every morning and treat everyone like the miraculous unique reflection of the divine that they are, to not be irritable or get irritated, to be giving and generous even when the world seems filled with selfishness and difficulty - all of this and so much more is what it means to be a mensch and it isn’t easy. So how did Iggie do it so consistently for so much of his life?

Another thing that Iggie was a pioneer in, only he wouldn’t have called it such, was something of a mindfulness practice. I don’t know how he managed it in his day-to-day life, I don’t know what sort of thought process he used to calm himself between patients so that he was as good a person as he could be for the next person he spoke to, but I do know the things he taught me when he gave me advice and instructed me in golf.

Iggie had a holistic approach to body-work advising us to not exercise while in pain - “no pain, no gain” was a recipe for injuries and difficulties from his perspective. As a former college sprinter I am sure he knew what it took to become a performance athlete and also knew that while I might be enthusiastic, any exercise regimen I pursued was going to be as an amateur at best. So he advised me to listen closely to my body, to take note of aches and pains and to not let them get worse - either by easing off or changing what I was doing in some way.

On the golf course Iggie was a devoted student of classic golf coaches like Harvey Penick, and stuck religiously to the idea that addressing a golf shot was a mental and spiritual practice, “to be at ease” and to find a gentle focus.

In other words, Iggie had a mind-body practice that I imagine helped him sustain himself as a caregiver and a mensch.

In Judaism, we focus a lot on the behaviors and habits that lead us to being a person of integrity, towards developing the aspects of being a mensch, or in Yiddish, menschlichkeit. On this particular day of the year we identify all of the ways in which we have missed the mark, all of the behaviors that we hoped to pursue and didn’t quite achieve. On what someone called to me this morning, “the Super Bowl of the Jewish Year,” through the act of public confessions we reassert together the behaviors that we hold to be most important. It helps us set a good course for the New Year.

In all of this though, we still need a personal practice, something that will help us make progress on these reasonable aims of excellent behavior. Internal methods to overcome our initial reactions, our biases, our anger, and lead with our best selves when we do offer a reaction to what’s going on around us.

Every day of the year we can do better and we can each find our own way there. Remembering to be grateful in the morning, offering blessings, taking five minutes every hour to check in on how we’re feeling and take a deep breath, making sure that we stand up and walk around once in a while, getting out into nature at least once a day to recharge our sense of well-being, remembering to smile at the people in our home when we see them and acknowledging them as sources of joy in our lives. The inner practice that helps us be the outer mensch will be just as individualized as anything else. What helps us today as Jews is seeing that we are all on that journey together. We confess together to move forward together. We establish a norm of being a mensch, follow in our own Grandpa Iggie model - and I know each of us has a mentor, a teacher, a friend, a family-member who can serve as that model - and breathe deeply and dig deep and find whatever it takes to go out and be a better person in that next encounter.

If this mind-body, mindfulness, hearts and minds and bodies connected to our behaviors, works to inform us, we also remember that it works both ways. The Jewish model asks us to be engaged in community. Iggie was a mensch and a mystic because he was constantly aiming higher, working with other people, and that good work fueled his inner self even as his inner work continued to fuel his menschlichkeit. In this way Judaism is both a social and a contemplative path - we are aiming for a profoundly rooted behavior of integrity and seeking justice sustained by a profoundly seeking inner life of balance and continued personal development. In our Jewish traditions we don’t have gurus sitting on mountain tops because the life of seclusion separates us from the life of working to make things better. Our role models are engaged in being friends and family-members as well as having jobs and careers and always aiming for soul-inspired good behavior and righteous actions that raise our spirits.

I still work to live up to Iggie’s model.

As in every year up until now, I am working on finding rhythm in my life so that I can bring the best of me to all that I do. I imagine we are all working to get ourselves up to one or more of our role model’s standards, for themselves and for us.

As we go forward into this New Year, I will try to live some of Iggie’s wise words as a mystic so that I can follow his down-to-earth model as a mensch.

If it hurts, ease off - and that goes for working as well as exercising.

When doing something important, I will try to be at ease and attend to that one thing with all my mind and self.

In all of this, I will try to bring my best self to every encounter and relationship.

May we all find a meaningful path of reflection that leads to better doing in the world in this year to come.

May we be written and sealed for a good year.

[random-notes-and-jottings]

The Dehumanizing Condescension of White Fragility

The popular book aims to combat racism but talks down to Black people.

John McWhorter

Contributing writer at The Atlantic and professor at Columbia University

I must admit that I had not gotten around to actually reading Robin DiAngelo’s White Fragility until recently. But it was time to jump in. DiAngelo is an education professor and—most prominently today—a diversity consultant who argues that whites in America must face the racist bias implanted in them by a racist society. Their resistance to acknowledging this, she maintains, constitutes a “white fragility” that they must overcome in order for meaningful progress on both interpersonal and societal racism to happen.

White Fragility was published in 2018 but jumped to the top of the New York Times best-seller list amid the protests following the death of George Floyd and the ensuing national reckoning about racism. DiAngelo has convinced university administrators, corporate human-resources offices, and no small part of the reading public that white Americans must embark on a self-critical project of looking inward to examine and work against racist biases that many have barely known they had.

I am not convinced. Rather, I have learned that one of America’s favorite advice books of the moment is actually a racist tract. Despite the sincere intentions of its author, the book diminishes Black people in the name of dignifying us. This is unintentional, of course, like the racism DiAngelo sees in all whites. Still, the book is pernicious because of the authority that its author has been granted over the way innocent readers think.

Reading white fragility is rather like attending a diversity seminar. DiAngelo patiently lays out a rationale for white readers to engage in a self-examination that, she notes, will be awkward and painful. Her chapters are shortish, as if each were a 45-minute session. DiAngelo seeks to instruct.

She operates from the now-familiar concern with white privilege, aware of the unintentional racism ever lurking inside of her that was inculcated from birth by the white supremacy on which America was founded. To atone for this original sin, she is devoted to endlessly exploring, acknowledging, and seeking to undo whites’ “complicity with and investment in” racism. To DiAngelo, any failure to do this “work,” as adherents of this paradigm often put it, renders one racist.

As such, a major bugbear for DiAngelo is the white American, often of modest education, who makes statements like I don’t see color or asks questions like How dare you call me “racist”? Her assumption that all people have a racist bias is reasonable—science has demonstrated it. The problem is what DiAngelo thinks must follow as the result of it.

DiAngelo has spent a very long time conducting diversity seminars in which whites, exposed to her catechism, regularly tell her—many while crying, yelling, or storming toward the exit—that she’s insulting them and being reductionist. Yet none of this seems to have led her to look inward. Rather, she sees herself as the bearer of an exalted wisdom that these objectors fail to perceive, blinded by their inner racism. DiAngelo is less a coach than a proselytizer.

When writers who are this sure of their convictions turn out to make a compelling case, it is genuinely exciting. This is sadly not one of those times, even though white guilt and politesse have apparently distracted many readers from the book’s numerous obvious flaws.

For one, DiAngelo’s book is replete with claims that are either plain wrong or bizarrely disconnected from reality. Exactly who comes away from the saga of Jackie Robinson thinking he was the first Black baseball player good enough to compete with whites? “Imagine if instead the story,” DiAngelo writes, “went something like this: ‘Jackie Robinson, the first black man whites allowed to play major-league baseball.’” But no one need imagine this scenario, as others have pointed out, because it is something every baseball fan already knows. Later in the book, DiAngelo insinuates that, when white women cry upon being called racists, Black people are reminded of white women crying as they lied about being raped by Black men eons ago. But how would she know? Where is the evidence for this presumptuous claim?

An especially weird passage is where DiAngelo breezily decries the American higher-education system, in which, she says, no one ever talks about racism. “I can get through graduate school without ever discussing racism,” she writes. “I can graduate from law school without ever discussing racism. I can get through a teacher-education program without ever discussing racism.” I am mystified that DiAngelo thinks this laughably antique depiction reflects any period after roughly 1985. For example, an education-school curriculum neglecting racism in our times would be about as common as a home unwired for electricity.

DiAngelo’s depiction of white psychology shape-shifts according to what her dogma requires. On the one hand, she argues in Chapter 1 that white people do not see themselves in racial terms; therefore, they must be taught by experts like her of their whiteness. But for individuals who harbor so little sense of themselves as a group, the white people whom DiAngelo describes are oddly tribalist when it suits her narrative. “White solidarity,” she writes in Chapter 4, “requires both silence about anything that exposes the advantages of the white population and tacit agreement to remain racially united in the protection of white supremacy.” But if these people don’t even know whiteness is a category, just what are they now suddenly defending?

Diangelo also writes as if certain shibboleths of the Black left—for instance, that all disparities between white and Black people are due to racism of some kind—represent the incontestable truth. This ideological bias is hardly unique to DiAngelo, and a reader could look past it, along with the other lapses in argumentation I have noted, if she offered some kind of higher wisdom. The problem is that White Fragility is the prayer book for what can only be described as a cult.

We must consider what is required to pass muster as a non-fragile white person. Refer to a “bad neighborhood,” and you’re using code for Black; call it a “Black neighborhood,” and you’re a racist; by DiAngelo’s logic, you are not to describe such neighborhoods at all, even in your own head. You must not ask Black people about their experiences and feelings, because it isn’t their responsibility to educate you. Instead, you must consult books and websites. Never mind that upon doing this you will be accused of holding actual Black people at a remove, reading the wrong sources, or drawing the wrong lessons from them. You must never cry in Black people’s presence as you explore racism, not even in sympathy, because then all the attention goes to you instead of Black people. If you object to any of the “feedback” that DiAngelo offers you about your racism, you are engaging in a type of bullying “whose function is to obscure racism, protect white dominance, and regain white equilibrium.”

That is a pretty strong charge to make against people who, according to DiAngelo, don’t even conceive of their own whiteness. But if you are white, make no mistake: You will never succeed in the “work” she demands of you. It is lifelong, and you will die a racist just as you will die a sinner.

Remember also that you are not to express yourself except to say Amen. Namely, thou shalt not utter:

I know people of color.

I marched in the sixties.

You are judging me.

You don’t know me.

You are generalizing.

I disagree.

The real oppression is class.

I just said one little innocent thing.

Some people find offense where there is none.

You hurt my feelings.

I can’t say anything right.

This is an abridgment of a list DiAngelo offers in Chapter 9; its result is to silence people. Whites aren’t even allowed to say, “I don’t feel safe.” Only Black people can say that. If you are white, you are solely to listen as DiAngelo tars you as morally stained. “Now breathe,” she counsels to keep you relaxed as you undergo this. She does stress that she is not dealing with a good/bad dichotomy and that your inner racist does not make you a bad person. But with racism limned as such a gruesome spiritual pollution, harbored by individuals moreover entrapped in a society within which they exert racism merely by getting out of bed, the issue of gray zones seems beside the point. By the end, DiAngelo has white Americans muzzled, straitjacketed, tied down, and chloroformed for good measure—but for what?

And herein is the real problem with White Fragility. DiAngelo does not see fit to address why all of this agonizing soul-searching is necessary to forging change in society. One might ask just how a people can be poised for making change when they have been taught that pretty much anything they say or think is racist and thus antithetical to the good. What end does all this self-mortification serve? Impatient with such questions, DiAngelo insists that “wanting to jump over the hard, personal work and get to ‘solutions’” is a “foundation of white fragility.” In other words, for DiAngelo, the whole point is the suffering. And note the scare quotes around solutions, as if wanting such a thing were somehow ridiculous.

A corollary question is why Black people need to be treated the way DiAngelo assumes we do. The very assumption is deeply condescending to all proud Black people. In my life, racism has affected me now and then at the margins, in very occasional social ways, but has had no effect on my access to societal resources; if anything, it has made them more available to me than they would have been otherwise. Nor should anyone dismiss me as a rara avis. Being middle class, upwardly mobile, and Black has been quite common during my existence since the mid-1960s, and to deny this is to assert that affirmative action for Black people did not work.

In 2020—as opposed to 1920—I neither need nor want anyone to muse on how whiteness privileges them over me. Nor do I need wider society to undergo teachings in how to be exquisitely sensitive about my feelings. I see no connection between DiAngelo’s brand of reeducation and vigorous, constructive activism in the real world on issues of import to the Black community. And I cannot imagine that any Black readers could willingly submit themselves to DiAngelo’s ideas while considering themselves adults of ordinary self-regard and strength. Few books about race have more openly infantilized Black people than this supposedly authoritative tome.

Or simply dehumanized us. DiAngelo preaches that Black History Month errs in that it “takes whites out of the equation”—which means that it doesn’t focus enough on racism. Claims like this get a rise out of a certain kind of room, but apparently DiAngelo wants Black History Month to consist of glum recitations of white perfidy. This would surely help assuage DiAngelo’s sense of complicity in our problems, but does she consider what a slog this gloomy, knit-browed Festivus of a holiday would be for actual Black people? Too much of White Fragility has the problem of elevating rhetorical texture over common sense.

White Fragility is, in the end, a book about how to make certain educated white readers feel better about themselves. DiAngelo’s outlook rests upon a depiction of Black people as endlessly delicate poster children within this self-gratifying fantasy about how white America needs to think—or, better, stop thinking. Her answer to white fragility, in other words, entails an elaborate and pitilessly dehumanizing condescension toward Black people. The sad truth is that anyone falling under the sway of this blinkered, self-satisfied, punitive stunt of a primer has been taught, by a well-intentioned but tragically misguided pastor, how to be racist in a whole new way.

JOHN MCWHORTER is a contributing writer at The Atlantic. He teaches linguistics at Columbia University, hosts the podcast Lexicon Valley, and is the author, most recently, of Words on the Move.

[chuckadams]

The Yellow-Brick Road

Screens. Endless screens. 

Operated by wizards, innumerable and unmuffle-able wizards.

Previously, before the pandemic, pundits and academics alike claimed we inhabited a world mediated exclusively by the filtered and algorithmic echo chambers of the Internet. An Internet, of course, conveniently set up with our own preferences and predilections in mind. In short, a hyperreality. I tended to believe this line of thought, but then I would go outside, meet people on the street, travel about the world, see for myself, and realize: the world is infinitely more complex than my Google News feed indicates. And so my mind evolved: I soon believed we were living in a virtual world mediated, or kept in check, by frequent collisions with the real, objective, empirical world.

No more. 

(At least, I hope, temporarily “no more”.)

Now, after the pandemic, sheltering at home for the past six weeks, my sole access to “reality” is through the screens. Endless screens. Sure, there is a “window” in my apartment that tells me that, yes, the sun came up, yes, the spring blooms are still blooming, and yes, masked people are indeed still shopping for groceries and avoiding each other on the street. As I gaze out my window, at the lulling quiet of my neighborhood, birds chirping ever so loudly, rudely, I am led to believe that all is well. But then I realize that the window must be lying, because the screens are all screaming at me that nothing is A-OK with the world: Outrage this! Outrage that! Cases spiking! The insanity of reopening! The insanity of staying locked down! Numbers number numbness! He is to blame! She is to blame! They are to blame! We are to blame! BLAME!

The screens tell me that I must stay inside, stay safe. They tell me that cases are rising, deaths are rising, and there is no verification that what they are telling me is a truth or a lie, at least objectively. And I’m not being facetious about this: It’s not like a public safety officer came knocking at my door to calmly urge me to take the necessary precautions to “flatten the curve.” It’s not like I can go run up to that ambulance screaming by outside and ask to see, for myself, that someone is, indeed, gasping for air in there.

No.

Here in Romania, we have to carry a self-written note, translated in Romanian, in our pockets whenever we leave the house to go to the store, the pharmacy, or a walk around the block (exercise, I’ll call it). We are to hand over this scrawled note to any police or military officer who demands it. Though nobody has ever asked me to provide this proof, I comply because the screen has told me that I must comply. Yes, I have seen police officers stationed at intersections, and it seems they randomly pull over people to check their papers. This logically leads me to conclude that what the screen told me I now had to do is, indeed, necessary to do. (The threat of a $2,000 fine is also a strong case for compliance.) Though I can see how people can, and will, grow frustrated with people talking about something, in an abstract way, without ever laying eyes on it, without tasting it, without smelling it, without crumpling into a ball of tears over the realization that they, too, have caught it. (In a way, I think the anti-lockdown protestors secretly just wish, through their public commingling, to catch COVID-19 once and for all, verify its veracity, and be done with it. In that regard, I think they’re on to something.)

But when I do walk the streets, to buy groceries, or to go for an evening stroll, all seems so very calm and peaceful. Empirical reality is not matching the messages spat out by the screens. The same screens that tell me what the scientists have concluded and what the epidemiologists have predicted also tell me that everything that I am reading and seeing on the screens is all wrong, or biased, or propaganda. And there is no way to verify the truth, empirically.

It seems, from my looking at all these screens, is that they are not showing me what is really going on. I wish, for example, I could have access to a website where every single COVID-19 patient in the world was live-streaming their battle against this disease. Yes, despite such a huge invasion of privacy, I would be OK with watching a cacophony of pneumatic coughing and beads of sweat pooling on the brows of feverish patients, sequestered in their beds, in home; or in a tent, in the homeless camp; or on a cot, in a prison cell; or in the ICU, hooked up to a ventilator, an iPhone shoved in their face so their loved ones can say their last goodbyes. Acknowledging the fact that such a website would be labeled a “hoax” by coronavirus-deniers, with claims that all 2.5 million of the people displayed on the webcams were just paid actors, it seems, nevertheless, like this collective portrait of what is going on is what has eluded the screens: mass confirmation that we are in this thing, together, whatever it is, for the right reasons. For the moral and just reasons. And, since this “reality” does not quite exist, on my screen, at the moment, my primary portal to the outside world, it simply must not be real.

***

OK, now I should admit that I do believe this COVID-19 reality. I do believe that this is a serious public health threat. I do believe this, because my personal daily intake of screens comes with a main course of trusted, reliable, non-profit news sources—many of whom tell these kinds of stories, if from a moderately left-of-center perspective—and also a healthy side dish of skepticism.

A skepticism that pleads, “Where is your empirical evidence to support your claims?”

A skepticism that asks, “What are your credentials? (And ‘I’m a doctor’ or ‘I’m the president’ or ‘I’m infected’ does not cut it, does not make you an automatic expert, sorry.)”

A skepticism that wonders if, truly, we can expect democracy to survive if everything the public reads and sees through a screen becomes their only access to reality.

This would be a nightmare scenario.

Unfortunately it is the nightmare scenario standing right in front of us, but we can’t see it. Reality, as Jean Baudrillard warned, has been air-brushed out of existence. We witness only the simulation of real life, projected and mapped out by our brains piecing together a million different inputs from the screens, controlled by wizards.

Until reality, of course, catches up with us.

Cue the coronavirus, that insidious agent-provocateur... ...unmasking the clear and present danger of a mentally-unhinged president,   ...disrupting the best-laid plans of wannabe dictators, ...tanking the junk economies that favored the wealthy, …turning a barrel of crude oil into something so worthless oil corporations will pay you to take it off their hands, ...disproportionately killing those most impacted by the environmental racism and injustice of government policies and lax regulations, ...sending world leaders to the ICU, to the bunkers, or disappearing altogether, ...and, of course, forcing millions of infected people worldwide to that horrific of existential questions: Will I be one of the few who succumb to this, or one of the lucky ones who survive to see that light at the end of the tunnel?

COVID-19, at least the viral agent that exists in a biological sense of the word, may be perhaps the one thing that can crumble our screen-mediated world, bringing reality back into sharp focus. Our bodies, and the bodies of others, will become real again. But, it will take time, and it is a long, long road.

Currently, by the latest official tally, on April 20, only 0.03% of the global population has experienced this reality empirically. It is the collective voices of this tiny minority that must shake us awake to what is really going on, but unfortunately we are at the mercy of Internet wizards. The Wizard of Oz, like these wiz’s of today, was great at persuading and convincing a terrified population of rural Kansans, but hid behind a thin curtain, easily revealed by a dog with a keen sense of smell. There are many wizards out there, too many to name here, and we face an uphill battle in telling the good wizards from the bad wizards.

It may be a long, yellow-brick road indeed.